#I know I’m a stranger but I love you and I’m rooting for you and I wish you all the best
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azelmaandeponine · 2 days ago
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I saw this headcanon about Filbrick and wanted your opinion:
This is probably as good a time as any to drop my own trauma-dump fuelled headcanon on a stranger’s tangentially related post. I hope you don’t mind, or at least enjoy, OP.
When I was a kid, the first time my dad kicked my brother out, my mom sneaked him back in after three days and he hid out in the basement for over a week. The day after the fight where it happened, I asked Dad where my brother had gone, and he just said, "don't worry about it."
Then when he was driving me home from school that day, he said randomly, "he'll be back. He's gonna come back. He has to come back, he can’t just not come back. You know that." And I just kind of nodded, even though I wasn't sure. Because Dad had said some really bad shit when he was kicking him out that first time. I don’t feel comfortable repeating it but let me put it this way- at least Stan got a bag thrown out with him.
Anyway, my headcanon for the longest time was, I didn't think Filbrick intended to kick Stan out that night. At least, not forever, in the moment he definitely did. As OP said, he got mad, he reacted on instinct, he wasn’t really thinking. But in my mind, when he calmed down enough to realize what he’d done, he went straight to denial.
I think Filbrick told himself Stanley didn’t take him seriously. I think he tried to convince himself that Stanley would be back in a week or two, if that, he and Ford would deal with whatever happened and he would get the full story after that. And I think this, because I’m a messy bitch for parallels. And because I love the vibe of Filbrick driving around a dark and dingy Lead Paint District, muttering, “Stanley, come back, I didn’t mean it.”
What do you think?
Well, given that the OP of that seems to be basing it on their own traumatic experiences, I don't feel super comfortable weighing in on it.
Based on what they said, I think they know it's not canon and again, seems to be rooted in their own life experiences. And here, it seems to be less excusing Filbrick and more...him making his bed and having to lie in it. It's more...charitable, I guess, than I'd be, but they don't seem to be acting like Filbrick ISN'T a toxic and abusive parent either.
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wiklm · 4 months ago
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i’m trying so hard to unnecessarily mash my interests together and i recommend it to everyone!! yes girl put those billy joel songs on the hannibal playlist i believe in you!!!!
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jeezypetes · 2 years ago
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Ahhhh the job I thought i didn’t get bc they never got back to me after my interview (which I thought went really well) just reached out to me bc apparently the person they tried to hire backed out.,.. and now its gonna be like another month of wondering if I’m gonna have to decide if I want to move to another state where I don’t know anyone. And i was kind of relieved when i never heard back bc I’m really happy here with my family and gf and friends but the fact is my job here is a contract with very slim hopes of developing into a real job with benefits and i live with my parents bc i love them and our house and our town but i know i have to seriously consider this opportunity bc it would be a good career move and i want to live a rich and interesting life. But I don’t want to talk about it with anyone irl because my dad has covid which has been my number 1 fear since the start of the pandemic (he’s 71 and immunocompromised but he’s doing well and not needed the hospital) and I just want to be able to only worry about that I can’t even talk about the job thing which i drove myself and everyone around me crazy with already back in October. Which is why I’m just posting it vjfdhk I’m being tormented by forces beyond my control i feel like this is the sort of thing it would be really helpful to believe in God about
#like people who say He has a plan which i guess is comforting but his plans are so inscrutable they may as well be random. but some people#think he wants the best for us??? which seems so unlikely to me I can’t even try to believe it#anyways i think my dad willbe fine but I’m worried about long term health issues which would make it really really hard to move away bc my#mom is already basically disabled. and i want the house I want it so bad but I can’t afford to buy it from them bc our neighborhood has#gotten sooo much more expensive then it was when they moved here in the 80s and i know they’re planning on selling it to fund their#retirement. but i love it here so much I want to live here forever and die here but its not realistic and maybe it would be easier if i#moved away and put down roots somewhere else and then it will be less painful when they sell the house and less painful when they die#i just want things ro stay likethis forever I’ve#spent so much time these past few years walking around this neighborhood its like the veins in my arms i can live other places i have for#years but they never get this deep im so scared for the futuy#future but there’s absolutely nothing i can do to stop it. except kill myself i guess but it’s#not nearly at that point yet ckgdf it would make a lot of people very upset. it is sort of comforting to remember though i have that option.#god i hope they don’t offer me the job I’m a wreck just thinking about it#i really haven’t made any special efforts to reach out to them or anything. obv I wasn’t their first choice i have no idea if I’m their#second. i think they really liked me but I’m guessing im younger and less experienced than other candidates#hi if ur reading this btw its me a stranger on the internet and you know something my closest friends and family don’t know. congrats#I’ll talk to someone in a few days when my dad is feeling better. really hope my mom doesn’t get sick too she’s been coughing a bit but#testing negative. idc if i get covid i actually hope i get it bc that will prove I didn’t give it to my dad asymptotically#that’s not a secret i toldmy mom she was like jesus Christ don’t think like that
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irisinluv · 3 months ago
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Isekaied as the Yandere Villain!? Pt 2
Part one
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It was almost 2 minutes before I realized I was still dragging the crown prince behind me. I quickly dropped his hand and looked at him, not able to hide the embarrassment on my face. Listen- I’m committed to the bit. I WILL be the crazy jealous fiancé. But… I’m still human ok. I just dragged a full grown man down several halls and a flight of stairs while I spaced out thinking about how I’m gonna buy my cat premium wet food once I get back home to her.
It’s fine, I’m not flustered at spacing out about my cat, my characters just flustered because she’s been holding the hand of the man she’s obsessed with, that’s all!
“Well…. Did you still want to dine and take that walk?”
I expected him to scold me for my mistreatment of Cressida, grow irritated from me dragging him along like this. Instead, he chuckles and threads his arm in mine, and begins escorting me down the hall.
“Absolutely, have you dined outside by the roses yet? There’s this lovely pavilion that I am eager to hear your thoughts on.”
And that’s how I found myself under an impressive array of roses, all trained up and around a cozy dining area, creating a canopy of green and pink over an intimate tea table. The food was equally impressive, I had to keep reminding myself that the other me is used to this lavish lifestyle, to not gawk at the fancy tiny sandwiches and deserts.
“Well? Is everything to your liking? ”
I’m going off script here, how am I supposed to know how the villainess would react to a romantic scene like this?? If my “evil crazy” side isn’t supposed to be directed at him, and she’s usually kinda distant and unsure around him…. That means I should probably respond pretty curtly, polite, yet not really engaging. But…. I’ve already messed that up…. I guess I can be more genuine when it’s the two of us like this. He can think that this version of me is the facade, that I’m pretending to be pleasant, and then will start to see what a jerk “I” truly am when Cressida’s around. Besides…. I almost feel bad for the villainess. She really just seems like she was shy. Who knows- maybe, if given the opportunity, she really would have opened up more. It’s clear she loved the prince, and just didn’t know how to show it. So, with that thought, I made up my mind.
“It’s breathtaking! Roses are my favorite flower, and I’ve never seen so many kinds in bloom at once…. Plus the food and company leave little to be desired.”
There you go- slip in some subtle flirting! I’m not quite sure what time period this is supposed to be, but I get the impression flirting as bit more high class here, and I think I can have some fun with that.
“I’m glad, to be honest I was a bit flustered asking you to dine with me… you caught me quite off guard today, but in a good way.” He reaches his hand across the table and places it on my own, “I’d like to do this more often, you and I. I feel like the confines of our current arrangement have left us practically strangers, despite being engaged for several months already. I’m enjoying just being companionable with you, even if it’s just existing comfortably in the same room.”
Ohhhh, I know I’m the villain in this story but I can’t help but root for him- what a sweetheart! It’s so obvious he’s been lonely, I can’t wait for him and Cressida to fall in love and have a couple of kids that they’ll spoil rotten. And in the meantime…. Maybe I do have a bit of evil in me, because I’m going to selfishly enjoy this handsome man treating me to lunches under roses and reading in cozy libraries while I can.
“I know exactly how you feel your highness. Now, you mentioned a walk?”
We spent the afternoon laughing and chatting, and it felt nice to chat without worrying too much about my role. He asked me about that book I picked out earlier, and listened attentively as I caught him up with where I’m at in the plot. In turn, I asked about what papers he’s been signing, documents he’s been drafting, etc.
The only thing I had to do was send glares to any young ladies we passed, settling my hand on his arm possessively, and I saw their eyes widen and faces disappear behind fans as they whisper to one another. I can picture this illustrated in a manhwa- the nasty princess sinking her claws into the gullible prince… hopefully all these ladies will start gossiping and we can really cement this evil persona of mine now that Cressida’s here.
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When we returned to our separate apartments, I explored my rooms a bit until servants came to get me ready for dinner, and I slipped back into the frigid bitch persona. The servant girls dressed me in a slightly stuffy gown, but I had to admit, I looked gorgeous. I sat stiff and straight as they did my hair, forcing myself to be the very picture of cold indifference. I then dismissively thanked them for their help, then sat there awkwardly as they stared at me like I was crazy.
Ohhhh shit…. The original story hadn’t prepared me for this. My character was a villain, yes, but a side character for the most part! How was she supposed to act towards her servants? I went over what I knew- the novel showed the villainess alone quite often, usually obsessing over Eric and plotting/stalking. It showed her with Eric, and how distant and awkward their relationship was when together. And then of course the numerous scenes with Cressida where the Villainess did all sorts of heinous things to the sweet girl. But… it never depicted her with servants, or even any friends or other nobles. Just… Eric and Cressida. Was other me not actually a bitch all the time? Am I being unnecessarily rude right now? Oh god I’m such an idiot.
The story is told through Cressida’s point of view- of course there’s more depth to my own character than I initially thought! The Villianess must be a misunderstood introvert! Unsure of how to act around her crush, she’s fiercely insecure and jealous of this new girl who doesn’t struggle the same way she does. When she notices the prince slipping from her grasp, she acts out against Cressida because she can’t bear to lose Eric!
As someone’s who’s worked minimum wage jobs and struggled with social anxiety most of my life, I try to be nice to the people just working to survive, but here I am acting like these poor women are the dirt beneath my shoe…. Ok. Um. Well they’re still standing there in shock, I can fix this….
“You really did a lovely job… my hair has never looked so gorgeous, you’re truly talented! And I think the prince will be very pleased with this choice of ribbon!”
There- I was nicer, and I brought it back to Eric, so I’m still the lovesick fiancé whose entire world is waiting for her in the dining room. I frowned as the servants scuttled out of the room with hurried excuses, all of them looking like they were about to faint. Damn it… I can’t believe I misread the relationship between us. I probably just ruined their night by being uncharacteristically rude. I’ve gotta learn their names next time…. Maybe ask them to help me eat some fancy pastries as an apology…?
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I didn’t know it, but while I was lamenting how wrong I was about the Villainess’ character, the servants were all gossiping to the others about what had just transpired.
“You’re telling me she said THANK YOU!?”
“Yes!!! And then you should have seen how nervous she got! She just rambled, blurting out such a sweet compliment, and she even tied it back to the prince!”
“I had no idea how precious she was… I can’t believe I never realized she’s just shy! In a new place, all alone aside from her new fiancé…. Who I gather she’s got a bit of a crush on! Poor dear.”
“Ohh our sweet girl, I’m sure it must be hard bonding with the prince, when all you do is sit yards apart and hardly speak …”
“Well I may have some news about that… and it’s no wonder she was a bit flustered today, because I saw the two of them in the gardens today! They were both nothing but smiles- absolutely smitten with one another!”
“Such a lovely girl, and we never knew it all this time!”
Apparently, I had it backwards. The real villainess truly was a 2D, basic character. She was insecure and possessive over the prince, bullying Cressida half to remind her who Eric belonged to, half for the fun of it. But she didn’t let on to anyone about the true depth of her love for him. She didn’t gossip to her handmaid, didn’t ask the servants which dress he would like better. Simply acted as if they did not exist, hardly saying a word to them.
While I thought my blunt “thank you” was colder than they were used to, and then tried to smooth things over…. It was more words than they’d heard from me in the whole time I’d lived in the palace. They lapped it up and declared me their own shy little dove after that.
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When I arrived to dinner, I realized why daily dinners weren’t exactly a bonding activity for the villainess and Eric. The table was massive, and only held two chairs, one at either end. It felt so…. Cold?
Eric had beat me there, and quickly stood up from his seat, waiting until I sat and a servant pushed in my chair to retake his own seat. He smiled at me and said,
“Good evening, princess.”
He had to project his voice slightly. It wasn’t like he was shouting or being loud, it was just the manner of speaking you use when talking to an elderly relative, clearer, and enunciating better so they could hear you.
I replied back, projecting my voice similarly, and found the conversation was, in fact, more awkward than it had been earlier. We ate our food mostly in silence, occasionally one of us would say something and the other would stop moving their utensils on their plate, listening closer as they ask,
“What’s that?”
By the time dinner was over and we each went to bed, I felt drained. I could have just been louder I suppose- but it’s so hard to keep up a conversation like that. I know we get along- we had chatted all afternoon after all. But some part of me realized it’s probably good to keep a bit of distance between us, even if I’ve rewritten things to be a bit chummier between the two of us. Cressida needs to swoop in and steal him from me… and my job is still to leave that room for her to do so.
It’s hard trying to be someone else, yet also making sure you lead the plot in the right direction- it’s exhausting! I feel like both director and actress!
It’s with this in mind that I launch myself into the softest bed I’d ever felt, and passed out. My first day as princess consort, the Yandere fiancé, complete.
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While I was getting acquainted with my feather bed, Eric was speaking with the head waitstaff.
“Yes, tomorrow, would you mind adjusting the seating situation? I’d like for the princess consort and I to be closer together from now on. Yes, and ask my assistant to arrange my schedules like so, I’ve detailed it here. Thank you.”
At the same time, Cressida was recounting her run in with the prince and I to her handmaiden as she finishing unpacking and settling into her family’s guest apartments. Which, unbeknownst to me… was right across the hall.
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Aaaa! You survived your first day! And look at you- doing suuuuch a good job staying true to character. Nothing could go wrong… right?
Tag list for the series;
@bitternsweet @tonightwrites @confused-they @lanxianschoenheit @poptrim @siriuslyobsessedwithfiction @one-really-annoying-tree-rat @anonymousdisco @forbidden-sunlight
Tag list closed! Stay tuned for part 3!
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gfmima · 1 year ago
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category : 米哈游 原神 work title : another woman claims to be his girlfriend?
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with a subtle bow of your head, you raise the teacup to your awaiting lips, a veil of porcelain disguising the laughter that threatened to escape. how absurd… you muse, as you savor a sip of your tea.
far across — two tables away, there sits one of the new acts of lyney and lynette’s show. she was interesting, to say the least. she sings tall tales with intricate detail, weaving major falsehoods about the nature of her relationship with him.
her words describe his love confession, demanding they be together because he couldn’t bear a day without her. she didn’t fail to mention how his sister adores her and refers to her as ‘my future sister-in-law.’
the outlandish narrative lasts with an overt nudge about his frequent visits to her dressing room after every show, which you tune out due to its unsavory implications.
most women would have risen from their seats, confronting her for spewing fantasies about their lover; not you, though. instead, you stay rooted in your place, your curiosity piqued for what else she might spin.
you were engrossed, and if you were to be fully honest, you would’ve readily admit to the guilty pleasure of eavesdropping on the mundane conversations of strangers. your penchant for gossip was shared with your lover, turning it into an unusual pastime. it was a fun exchange of information over cups of coffee or tea, normally ending with one of you left scandalized by what was said. archons, were you excited to tell him about what you overhead…
“do you swear not to say a word about this to another living soul?” her voice hushed to a near whisper, but it still carries to those within earshot.
“of course! right, ladies?” one of the women quips, with the other two chiming in agreement, creating a chorus of “yes!” and “we’ll keep quiet!”
“if you say so…” she takes a deep breath, as if the weight of her revelation was a heavy burden about to be lifted. “lyney and i are dating…” her shoulders then turn slack, exhibiting the instant wave of relief that washes over her.
you couldn’t help it; a snort of amusement passes your lips. it earned you a few disapproving glances from the nearby patrons, chastising your lack of propriety in a public setting.
she embarks on an exhausting tangent, yakking on the long months she had to weather before she could have confided in her dear friends about her supposed private affair.
she emphasized how lyney insisted on maintaining it under wraps for over a year — eh, wrong! the twins met her for the first time five months ago — out of his desire to protect her from the clutches of obsessed fans and admirers.
the longer she spoke, the closer her stories cross into more ridiculous territory. at one point, she spun a yarn about his grandiose profession of love for their anniversary, including dedicating an entire routine inspired by her.
however, what left you scratching your head was the lack of skepticism from her friends. a quick read of her body language would’ve shone a light at her deception. it had you questioning whether you had somehow gone mad or if they were genuinely as dim-witted as they seemed.
“i knew it! no wonder you’ve been smiling a lot  lately!”
“ah, i’m so jealous~! sigh, he’s such a handsome man.”
“so romantic… i wish that was me!”
assessing the present circumstances, one might figure you would now reveal all of her lies. you didn’t. rather, you found yourself more inclined to watch and observe how this fiasco will play out.
you trust lyney, enough to know he loves you and wouldn’t pursue another woman behind your back, especially a woman he and his sister worked with. it allowed you to cast aside your initial worries about her and her interest in him. regardless of your opinion, she did her job well, even though you secretly wished she wasn’t so uncomfortably obsessed with him — a notion she made no effort to hide.
clearly, given what you were witnessing.
“oh, look, ladies! here he comes!” one of their voices pierces the air, overtly eager to see the ‘happy couple’ they were led to believe. conversely, lyney’s self-proclaimed lover appears to be positively distraught.
the man in question enters cafe lucerne, his gaze firmly laid on you. he shows little to no mind towards the group of women who shadow his every move. he walks by and greets you with a kiss on the cheek, taking the vacant chair in front of you.
“and how was your day, ma belle?” he removes his hat then runs his fingers through his hair — a simple gesture that left you swooning.
his charming demeanor momentarily distracts you from the comedic disaster unfolding in the background.
it was a tumultuous stir of “huh… who’s that?” and “gasp, is he cheating on you?” while the two of you converse in mindless chatter. one second, he was recounting his chores for the day; and the next, three indignant women loom over him whereas the source of this mayhem cowers in the back.
“ugh, the audacity to have a mistress and meet her in broad daylight! you have no shame!”
he glances from you to them, genuine bewilderment etched upon his face. “i beg your pardon?”
“oh, don’t play dumb! you know exactly what you’re doing!” another of the women upturns her nose at him.
witnessing the heated back-and-forth, it was remarkable to find that even arouet was invested in the drama.
it transforms into a three-versus-one impasse, but you were impressed by how gracefully he navigated through their baseless accusations. the culmination of the situation came when recognized his ‘lover’ and didn’t hesitate to call her by name, pressing answers for the lies she’d been spreading to her friends.
“i think you’ve all been misled, the only woman i’m seeing is this lovely one right here.” he turns then directs the gentlest of smiles at you.
unable to resist the itch, you finally laugh at the sudden turn of events. karma was indeed on the prowl, and to be a bystander for the incoming argument after she made a fool out of her friends, just to feed her delusion, was gratifying… for one of you, at least.
“care to tell me what just happened?” lyney tuts, his fingers extending across the table to grasp your hand in his, urging to draw your focus on him.
“later,” you mutter, absorbed by the evolving spectacle. it’s obvious you both will spend the whole evening discussing this…
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from the very start, you weren’t one to rejoice in having any eyes on you. it was natural your bond with the one and only wanderer flourished discreetly.
this change in your life required no announcement. it wasn’t information that demanded broadcasting to the world; it could exist on its own if someone were to ask, you’d directly confirm the status of your relationship. otherwise, you find it irrelevant to insert this in areas where it held no relevance.
in the comfort of your solitude, you thrive, cocooned from nosy onlookers. your happiness, his happiness — these two were what truly mattered to you.
as time flowed by, your connection deepened, evolving into a union that grew stronger with each passing moment you shared. it was a sensation both of you held dear, a genuine and keen emotion that, if you dare to admit, could be called ‘love.’
of course, you weren’t ignorant to assume that your journey would be obstacle-free. beyond his undeniable intellect and esteemed role as the assistant and confidant of the dendro archon, he also began to draw attention for his otherworldly beauty.
you were aware that you might coming across his admirers one day. after all, you weren’t oblivious to the wistful glances sent his way by other women, nor the coy attempts at flirtation. still, you hadn’t taken into account the unusual lengths some individuals would go to win even a sliver of his time and attention.
it was painful to watch their efforts be met with a scoff or a withering frown. on a good day, they might receive nothing more than a mocking, “what do you want now?” from him.
on a sun-drenched afternoon, you find yourself perched on the steps leading to the sanctuary of surasthana whilst you await his return from his meeting with lesser lord kusanali.
yet, the tranquility of the sacred place was soon interrupted by an unexpected revelation — you weren’t alone. a trio of researchers positioned themselves near the entrance, their presence blends into the revered location, evoking no more notice than the everyday sights that surround you.
the sunlight dances upon your skin as you, absentmindedly, fiddle with your bracelet, a habit that had taken root over the years. the food container you had brought stays on your lap, and you can feel its warmth gradually dissipate. a frown on your face as you whisper a plea that he arrives before the snacks you prepared grew cold.
your gaze strays and locks onto one of the women standing nearby. suspicion dripped from her eyes, it lingers far longer than you liked. at first, you considered it a peculiar coincidence — perhaps she mistook you for someone else she knew?
unable to contain her curiosity, she approaches you with an air of authority, disregarding her friends’ endeavors to stop her from creating a scene.
“state your business,” she dictates, her tone icy.
you stand unwavering, refusing to yield an inch in the face of her bid to intimidate you. “if you must know, i’m here for wanderer.”
your words invoke a profound reaction within her, it coursed through her like an attack. “well, save your breath and don’t waste your time bothering him.”
“why not? who even are you to tell me what i should do and shouldn’t do?” your cadence steady and colder than hers, a testament to the time you spent with your dear wanderer — it seems to be paying off.
you expected her to either insult you or begin a monologue about her superiority as a researcher, but her reply took you by surprise.
“i’m his lover, duh! i don’t appreciate you flirting with him.” then, in a single motion, she confiscates the container from your grasp.
glances were exchanged amongst her peers, who advance to mediate the interaction. one of them pulls her away and positions himself between you. “i’m sorry for her behavior, miss. her sleep deprivation has her spouting nonsense.”
“i am not! there are clear signs he feels the same way. we’re dating; he’s just very reserved about his emotions.”
before it can escalate further, a familiar voice slices through the tension like a blade. “where have you been?” he chides, as he descends the steps.
beneath his hat, you spy the glaring discontent he directs at these strangers for taking your time away from him.
when your eyes locks, his gaze softens. the sour expression dissolves and was replaced by a flicker of warmth. you offer a reassuring smile in his direction, a gesture that noticeably eases his mind.
he was a stride away from you when she, flaunting a smirk, stops in front of him. you lay a hand over your lips to quash your laughter after spotting the look of disgust he tosses at her.
“wanderer, honey!” she tries to touch his arm but fails when he sidesteps her. “don’t worry, i already handled this pest to lessen the burden for y—”
“who are you?” he sneers, and the haughty look on her face instantly disappears. she attempts to stutter a response, an effort to remind her title as his lover, but his menacing gaze he wore silences her.
“moreso, who are you to advise my wife what to do?”
eh? his wife?
“your wife?!” her friends turn pale, realization dawning upon them. they shiver at the thought of unintentionally crossing him, all thanks to her behavior.
“i-i just thought…”
“well, you thought wrong; know your place.” in a last display of irritation, he shoots them a cutting glare. then, he seizes the food container from her grip, his fingers then intertwine with yours as he guides you away from them.
as you walk away hand-in-hand, you cast a quick glance at her and stick your tongue out to mock her.
“i saw that,” he snickers and tugs you along, nearly causing you to stumble, “and you say i’m mean.”
“don’t get all smart, you called me your wife earlier.”
“shut up! it was meant to end the conversation early.”
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pellucid-constellations · 3 months ago
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Trial and Error (3)
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Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Based on the request: "Azriel with single mom reader? I feel like being a single mom in ACOTAR would be tricky as hell… reader comes from autumn court and flees to night court because she got pregnant out of marriage? 😯 the shame"
Word count: 2k
Warnings: Very small mention of blood
a/n: I am lovinggg writing this and I can't stop so don't ask me to 🏃‍♀️
Read part one | part two | part four
Main Masterlist ♡
~~
Azriel had been by the apothecary four times since his first visit. That wasn’t an unusual number by any means, but it was alarming that he was supposedly going through his headache tonic so quickly. You would give him a week’s worth and he would return for more within three days. 
Melanie had begun to expect him and had taken to examining his wings each time he walked through the door. She would run and stand atop the counter—much to your dismay—and Azriel would unfurl them from his back just a hair so she could get a better look. Her comfortability with him scared you. You’d spoken to your daughter about stranger danger and had emphasized it a million times, but with Azriel, she held no reproach. 
Azriel didn’t seem to mind. You had apologized countless times for Melanie’s staring and her invasive questions, but Azriel would only wave you off with a glint in his eye. He always chalked it up to being an uncle, but you’d had an uncle and he was nothing like Azriel. 
None of your family was like anyone you’d met in Velaris. 
Still, there was a lingering pit in your stomach each time Azriel would ask you a question about yourself or smile at your daughter. It didn’t feel safe to make too many friends, and Azriel was a particularly unsafe friend to have. 
The Shadowsinger. 
You’d learned of his position within the Night Court’s inner circle after Melanie had asked yet another question about Azriel and his shadows. 
“I’m a Shadowsinger,” he had explained, your daughter spinning in circles around him, tugging his shadows along with her. A small smile graced his face as he spoke. “My shadows tell me secrets so I can ensure everything is going okay in Velaris.” 
A cold sweat broke out along your skin as he spoke the words, but you only continued to smile and focused on keeping your breath even. 
He would be the one to find you out—there was no doubt about it. 
But something told you the closeness could be a good thing. Perhaps, if he knew you, he would take pity on you when he found out. Perhaps, if he knew you, he wouldn’t feel the need to dig into your history and ask questions. 
At least, that’s what you were hoping for because Azriel didn’t show any sign of staying away from you or Melanie—a truth made even more apparent at Melanie’s open house. 
“Melanie does so wonderfully in all her subjects,” her teacher gushed, a clipboard held tightly at her chest. “She especially loved our cooking unit. She loved the burners and heating things up.” 
You raised your brows and grinned. “I’m so happy to hear that. She talks about school so often. I’m glad her enthusiasm is reflected in her work.” 
An obvious avoidance—an attempt to curtail the subject away from your daughter’s affinity for flames. 
Her teacher did not seem put off. “It is! I know she began in the middle of the school year, but she has caught on so quickly. I can tell she has a lot of support at home. Big family?” 
Perhaps her teacher wasn’t as oblivious as you had hoped. You fought the twitch in your eye, dreading that this woman would know more about you. Five years of careful isolation and suddenly you were thrust into the public eye. 
“No, just the two of us. But my work is quite flexible so she’s never alone. I always have time to help her with school.” 
“That’s so great to hear. I have to ask, just for the sake of my student, her father—”
“Hello, Ms. Fern.”
Azriel’s voice startled you out of the panic rising in your chest. You turned to find him rooted in his spot behind you, arms crossed over his chest. His gaze flicked down to you for a brief moment before settling back on the teacher. 
“Azriel!” Ms. Fern delighted. “I didn’t expect you today. I saw the High Lord and Lady earlier so I assumed it would just be the parents.” 
Azriel hummed. “I wanted to come by and see Nyx’s art. You mentioned he painted the family.” 
“You didn’t need to do that! I know you’re so busy. What a wonderful—“ 
Azriel slowly edged in front of you, hiding you from Ms. Fern’s watchful eye. You felt a slight push against your hip and held in a laugh as Azriel reached behind him and ushered you off without ever looking away from the teacher. You quickly scampered away and made yourself busy examining the art around the room. Upon closer inspection, Nyx had painted a troll—not his family. 
It took about 10 minutes of lingering before Azriel joined you, his shadows giving him away. They slinked around your wrists and traveled up to caress your neck. 
“Apologies for their familiarity,” Azriel said in place of a greeting. “They seem to have grown comfortable with you.” 
“And Melanie,” you added. You rounded a table and meandered out to the hall. Azriel followed. “They love to chase her around the apothecary. Sometimes I wonder if you keep coming by because they’re making you.” 
Azriel bit back a smile but it still formed into a bashful expression. “Perhaps that’s why.” 
In the hall, you found yourself alone with Azriel—utterly and completely alone. Melanie was with one of your neighbors as the teacher made it clear no students were allowed at the open house, and no one else occupied the space. You leaned your back against the wall and looked up at Azriel, a shyness overtaking you. 
You were never really alone with him—Melanie was always right around the corner. 
“That was some maneuver earlier,” you commented, fidgeting with your fingers at your waist. 
“She was prying,” Azriel replied. You watched the way he carefully trailed his gaze down to your fingers. “I certainly wasn’t going to let her know more about you than I do. Not when I’ve put in far more effort.” 
“I thought your shadows were the reason you came,” you teased. 
“Right, my shadows.” 
You pressed your mouth into a line, feeling small under Azriel’s never-ending gaze. His eyes never left yours as silence blanketed the hall. It was as if he saw through you, understood you in a way that didn’t make sense. 
Maybe you could tell him. 
No, that was ridiculous. 
Was it? 
“Where’s Mel?” Azriel asked, startling you out of your internal strife. 
The words didn’t comprehend, the jumbled mess of your mind intensifying as the Shadowsinger knocked his head to the side and asked you questions. 
“What?” 
“Melanie,” he clarified, brows bunching. “I was going to offer to watch her for this but I didn’t want to impose. I know I’m still mostly a stranger, but I don’t know if you have family in the area and I just…” 
He trailed off. You never mentioned any family because that was one of the topics you strayed from each time it was broached. Family, your origins, Melanie’s father; he never brought any of it up directly, but he’d hint at it. And you always changed the subject. 
“I—I don’t,” you revealed. You broke his gaze and stared down at your fingers, picking at the skin around your nails. “Have family here, I mean. But I have neighbors that Melanie likes. They’re watching her.” 
“Do you trust them?” Azriel asked, an edge to his tone. 
“Of course I do. I wouldn’t leave her with anyone I didn’t.” 
“Good,” he grunted out. 
“And I would never ask you to watch Mel. That—I know you’re probably busy and she's kind of a handful..” 
Azriel started speaking before the last word left your mouth. “She’s not. And I would never be too busy for that.”
Another silence fell. You picked harder at your nails.
“Azriel, I—“ 
“I want you to feel safe with me. To trust me.” 
His admittance shocked you into silence. You weren’t actually sure what you were going to say to him, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. Everything you had ever thought exited your brain. 
You opened your mouth to speak but no sound escaped. 
“I mean—I just mean that I want to be a person you can trust Melanie with. That you can trust to… to share more with. I don’t know what you’ve been though, or how you ended up here in Velaris, but I want to be something safe for you.”
It felt as if something was pressing against your chest. When Melanie was around, he never looked at you with such intensity—he never said these things with so much devotion to back his words. 
A sharp, hot feeling pricked your fingers. Azriel’s hand immediately covered both of your own, his warm touch pulling your fingers away from each other. You’d drawn blood—a terrible nervous habit. 
With all of the shock you missed the fact that this was the first time Azriel had touched you with such intentionality. 
“It’s like you’re living in survival mode—you and Melanie. I want you both to feel like there’s someone looking out for you.” 
“Why?” you whispered, the word still sounding entirely too loud. “Why us? Why me?” 
Azriel hadn’t removed his hands from yours. He offered a small squeeze to your fingers. “Why not you?” 
Something broke in you. Something pulled. 
You wanted nothing more than to open your mouth and let everything out. You wanted to trust him—to be able to trust anyone—but there was so much danger to that.
You could be forced back home. You could be forced to marry that man. You could lose Melanie. 
But Azriel was looking at you as if he’d place his life before any of those possibilities. His gaze was beseeching, almost desperate, and something was urging you to trust him. Something intrinsic. Something that felt right.
Your lips parted. 
“Rhys, I told you, Azriel isn’t here.” 
“I saw him leave just after us, darling. He came.” 
“He came to Nyx’s open house? What could he possibly have to gain?” 
The conversation down the hall startled you. You yanked your hands from Azriel’s grip and whipped your head to the side in anticipation. 
Rhys, Azriel, Nyx; you knew who was about to enter the hall, and reality came crashing down on you as soon as you made the connection. 
“I have to go,” you rushed out, eyes widening. “I—Thank you, Azriel, but this isn’t—this isn’t safe for Melanie. Not… all of this. I have to—” 
You left, and Azriel stayed. 
You heard your name as you went, heard it echo down the hall, but you still left. 
And Azriel still stayed. 
part four
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queenofwands89 · 3 months ago
Text
Quiet Affections
Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Pilot!reader
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Summary: After her friends tease her about Jake having a crush on her, Y/N reflects on certain memories that make her question whether there might be some truth to their playful jabs.
Warnings: Teasing, pining, Jake being a sweetheart, Y/N being oblivious, insults aimed at Y/N, protective Jake, mention and description of injury, anxiety, doubts, fluff.
Notes: Happy Friday, everyone! We made it! 🎉 I just hit 2,500 likes on here and wanted to thank each and every one of you who liked, reblogged, or commented on my works. It means the world to me. I’m down bad for Jake, and need him badly so I wrote this. Enjoy byeeee
You find yourself deep in the heart of the Hard Deck, the familiar hum of chatter and clinking glasses forming a comforting backdrop. Rooster, Natasha, Javy, Bob, Reuben, and Mickey are clustered around the pool table, laughter spilling freely as they take turns making shots and throwing jabs. Jake had just excused himself to go to the restroom, but not before brushing a lingering hand against your shoulder and whispering something that made you smile. This action set off a chain reaction of teasing directed at you.
"Y/N, you know Hangman’s got a huge crush on you, right?" Rooster's mustache twitches with a sly smile as he lines up for his shot.
You laugh it off, waving a hand dismissively. "Oh please, Bradley. Jake? No way. He's just... nice."
Rooster and Natasha exchange glances before Natasha cocks an eyebrow at you. "Nice? Hangman is many things, but nice isn't the first word I'd use. Unless he’s talking to you," she remarks, tapping her cue stick against her palm.
Bob, always the quiet observer, chimes in. "He's got a point though, Y/N. I've seen how he looks at you."
You can't help but roll your eyes. "I'm just completely unaware of it," you say, sarcasm dripping from your voice. "You guys are ridiculous."
Mickey grins, his boyish charm lighting up his face. "Maybe, but can you really deny the way he's always got your back?" he asks, leaning casually against the pool table.
Your first instinct is to rebut, but as their words settle in, you start to think about some of the things Jake had done for you. Not just the grand gestures like saving your hide in aerial combat, but the small, everyday things. The way he'd always save you a seat, bring you coffee exactly how you like it, offer subtle words of encouragement when you doubted yourself.
Javy steps forward, his competitive spirit twinkling in his eyes. "You're telling me you haven't noticed how he always goes out of his way to make sure you're okay?"
Reuben, good-natured but always vigilant, nods in agreement. "Hangman's not exactly an altruistic guy, Y/N. But for you? He'd go to lengths he wouldn't for anyone else."
You crack a wry smile, determined to stay firm in your denial. "He's just protective. We're teammates."
Natasha had already joined in, her voice warm yet teasing. “Don’t sell yourself short, Y/N. It’s not just about being teammates. He genuinely cares.”
In the ensuing silence, you can't help but ponder on their words. Jake "Hangman" Seresin is charismatic and assertive, traits forged from his exceptional flying skills and competitive nature. But beneath that cocky exterior, there lies a heart incredibly loving and caring, willing to sacrifice anything for his loved ones. Slowly, you find yourself drifting into a vivid memory, reliving the countless cherished moments and experiences you've shared with Jake.
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You recall that evening at the Hard Deck vividly. The bar was buzzing with the usual chatter and laughter, the hum of camaraderie filling the air. You were amidst your friends, enjoying the rare downtime when an unfamiliar voice cut through the noise—this stranger making an offhand but cruel remark about you. The comment was subtle, yet it stung deeply, rooting you in place with a mix of shock and mortification. Your cheeks burned under the weight of the ridicule, words lodged in your throat.
Before you could muster a response, you felt Jake's presence beside you, solid and reassuring. He stepped forward, placing himself between you and the offender. His usual easy going demeanor was replaced by a steely resolve, his eyes dark with anger. "Do us all a favor and think before you speak," he said, his voice steady but carrying an unmistakable edge.
The bar fell into an uneasy silence as Jake’s glare pinned the offender in place. "If you've got a problem with Y/N," he continued, his voice low and unwavering, "you’ll be dealing with me."
The tension hung in the air, thick and palpable. The offender, unable to match Jake's intensity, muttered an apology and slunk away, deflated. The moment passed, but the impact lingered. Jake remained there a moment longer, ensuring the threat had fully dissipated before turning back to you.
As he met your gaze, the hardness in his features softened, replaced by a gentle concern. He reached out, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. "You okay?" he asked, his voice filled with a tenderness reserved just for you.
You felt an overwhelming wave of gratitude, the initial embarrassment giving way to a profound sense of relief. Jake had stood up for you without a second thought, his protective instinct leaving no room for compromise. In that moment, you knew you were safe, not just physically but emotionally, knowing Jake had your back. His touch and the concern in his eyes reassured you even more, providing a solace that words alone could not.
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
Then there was the night when you couldn’t sleep, tormented by insecurities that gnawed at the edges of your mind. It was long past midnight, and you found yourself seated on the deck of the aircraft carrier, trying to get some fresh air to clear your head before the mission. The vast expanse of the ocean and the cool night breeze did little to quiet the whirlwind of self-doubt swirling inside you.
The stars dotted the sky like tiny beacons, and the waves below gently lapped against the ship's hull, but none of it brought you peace. You wrapped your arms around yourself, tense and lost in thought, barely noticing the sound of footsteps approaching.
Jake emerged from the shadows, his silhouette becoming clearer in the soft glow of the ship's lights. He paused when he saw you, his brow furrowing with concern. He looked around, ensuring no one else was around, before walking over to you with determined but careful strides.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice breaking the solitude with an edge of worry.
You hesitated, feeling foolish for bothering him. "I…I just can't stop thinking about everything that's been going wrong. I don't know if I'm cut out for this, Jake."
Jake's eyes softened, and he lowered himself to sit beside you on the cold metal deck. "Tell me more," he said gently, coaxing you to open up. His voice was so steady, so soothing, that you found yourself pouring out all your fears and anxieties—the relentless pressure, the fear of failure, the nagging feeling that you weren't good enough. With each word, you felt a weight lifting from your chest.
Jake listened without interrupting, his usual cocky demeanor replaced by an unwavering focus on you. His eyes never left your face, and his expression remained kind and attentive. "You know what I see when I look at you?" he said quietly once you had finished. "I see someone who's brave, who fights every day to be better, who cares deeply about others. You're stronger than you think, Y/N. Don't let those doubts control you."
His words felt like a balm to your soul, soothing the raw edges of your insecurities. When he reached out to brush a stray tear from your cheek, the warmth of his touch and the sincerity in his eyes melted away your remaining doubts, leaving you wrapped in a cocoon of reassurance. Sitting there on the deck, under the endless sky, you felt profoundly grateful for Jake's unwavering support and the strength he helped you find within yourself.
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
You also remember the time when you injured your ankle during a training exercise. You had insisted on limping back to your quarters, trying to maintain your independence. But Jake wouldn't hear of it. He had scooped you up without a second thought, cradling you in his arms as if you weighed nothing. "I've got you," he murmured, his voice laced with an uncharacteristic gentleness. The entire trek back, he kept you engaged in light-hearted banter, ensuring your mind stayed off the pain.
.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ . ⋆ * .♡ *:・゚.   ݁ ˖ ࣪ .
And how could you forget the morning he had brought you coffee? Not just any coffee, but a complex, personalized concoction—an oat milk latte with a shot of caramel, a pinch of cinnamon, and a dash of nutmeg, and no foam. You hadn’t even mentioned it to him before. "Thought you could use a pick-me-up," he had said nonchalantly, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. But you knew the effort he had put into remembering such a detailed order, and it made your heart swell with an unfamiliar warmth.
These memories play in your mind like a cherished montage, each moment a testament to the man beneath the bravado. Jake "Hangman" Seresin wasn’t just the cocky pilot everyone else saw. He was a protector, a confidant, a friend who cared deeply for you, even if you had been too blind to see it before.
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Returning back to the present moment amidst the lively ambiance of the Hard Deck, surrounded by the warmth of friends and laughter, you notice Jake returning from the restroom. As your eyes meet, his familiar smirk emerges, but this time there’s a tender softness in his gaze that you hadn’t noticed before—or perhaps, hadn't allowed yourself to see.
“Miss me?” he jokes, sliding back into the chaos of pool cues and friendly banter.
You chuckle, shaking off the speculative thoughts. “Like a bad habit, Seresin.”
But later, as the night winds down and the camaraderie ebbs into a quieter hum, you catch yourself glancing his way more often. The teasing remarks of your friends aren’t so easily dismissed anymore. And as Jake catches your gaze across the room, you start to wonder if maybe, just maybe, they might be onto something.
Because sometimes, the most significant realizations are the ones that had been right in front of you all along, masked by the comfort of friendship and the chaos of duty.
You smile to yourself, feeling an inexplicable warmth. Maybe it was time to see what was beyond the camaraderie, to delve into the possibilities of what if. The thought lingers, like an unopened letter, waiting for the right moment.
For now, you return to the laughter and games, but with a new awareness, a curiosity that couldn’t be easily shaken. One thing was for sure—things were going to get interesting.
-
Text divider credits: @bunnysrph
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rachalixie · 8 months ago
Text
can’t get you off my mind
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all good love stories start with a drunk stranger, don’t they?
warnings: mentions of alcohol, fem!reader
genre: fluff, comfort
word count: 4k
it starts at a bar. 
or really, it starts with a man at a bar. one that you’ve seen before in passing, a familiar face in a sea of more familiar faces. someone who you’ll later learn is one third of your best friend changbin’s production team, someone who you should have met years ago probably, someone who you would find is the perfect puzzle piece that fits into your jagged edges.
but right now, he is just a man at a bar with a beer in hand and a ridiculously dopey smile on his face. 
“marry me, please,” he says, absolutely serious but it’s a bit diluted from the way his words were slurred around the edges. “or i’ll have to kidnap you.”
“excuse me?” you raise a brow at him, his image swimming a bit as you turn your head to fully take him in. you’re not drunk, but youre a couple glasses of wine deep and you’re not known for being fully articulate whilst sober anyways. 
“i swear i’m going to marry you,” he says, eyes wide as he looks at you. “you might be the most perfect person i’ve ever seen.”
you’re not overly fond of men you haven’t met hitting on you, but this one seems a bit harmless. if you ignored the part where he said he would kidnap you. at least he wasn’t grabbing onto you or trying to touch you - that would have sent your fist flying towards his face and probably a swift exit from the bar. it was a little weird that you didn’t find him weird, but in retrospect you must have known, even then. 
“okay, listen,” you put your hands on your hips, giving him an unimpressed look. “if you find me when you’re sober, ask me again and maybe i’ll reconsider.”
“okay,” he nods, hair moving along with his movement like a puppy’s ears. “i can do that. i’ll find you, i promise. i’m gonna marry you, did you know?”
“so i’ve heard,” you roll your eyes, already feeling a bit fond about him. you didn’t think you’d meet him again, but you were sure that you’d look at this night with a fond smile later. 
he sends you the brightest smile you think you’ve ever seen on a person and scampers off, and you stand rooted to that one sticky spot in the bar for longer than you want to admit.
he’s in the back of your mind when you wake up the next morning, in a better mood than most - you never liked waking up early, it always took you a good hour and some coffee to be able to stand without grimacing. this morning though, you float around your apartment as you get dressed with a small smile on your face. 
a cute stranger who kept his boundaries and called you perfect? that wasn’t something that happened often, at least not to you. 
the floatiness followed you all the way through your morning routine until you found your feet stopping outside the coffee shop that you and changbin all but owned. you had no stock in it, but you’re sure that you supply them at least half of their revenue, you probably sit on their rickety chairs more often than your actual couch at home. this place has nursed you through every college class and job interview preparations and beyond, and if it ever closed you might lose time off of your life span. 
your movements from the door to the counter to your usual seat were robotic, muscle memory taking over while your head did somersaults through the clouds. it’s only when you take the first sip of coffee, the bitterness and heat hitting your tongue in a delightful dance, that you notice it. 
another man is sitting next to changbin. a man that looks awfully familiar, and it takes you a moment to realize why. it’s the man from the bar. 
“changbin?” you keep your eyes on the other man as you direct your question at changbin, trying hard to keep your face neutral. “explain?”
“i’m chan,” the man interjects before changbin can answer, reaching his hand across the table for you to shake. it’s warm, his grip somewhere perfectly in the middle of too hard and too soft, and he lets go after an appropriate amount of seconds. despite the neutral passivity of the gesture, you feel something ignite within you, and it threatens to sputter out when you catch no spark of recognition in his eyes. was he that drunk last night that he doesn’t remember you? do his sober eyes not find you as perfect?
“he crashed at my place last night,” changbin’s voice filters through your turmoil, and you finally break away from chan’s gaze to level him with a look. “and he needed coffee, so i brought him along. chan, this is y/n, my best friend.”
the conversation that followed flowed more freely than the coffee dripping from the machines behind the counter, and you almost hate how much you like it. chan is a little goofy, the man from the previous night shining through moments of seriousness and rapt attention. 
by the time you had to leave to go to work you felt like you knew him. you learned where he lived (close to you!), that he worked with changbin (he’s a producer!), and that he loved all animals but he adored dogs (he has one named berry!). just an hour of casual conversation had led to you needing more of him in every aspect of your life, but still in the back of your head lived the thought of him not remembering you from the night before.
changbin leaves first, citing some meeting he had to run to in the middle of a yawn, and when you were left with chan the embarrassment began to set in. 
“i’m going to marry you,” he blurts out, startling you so much you almost jump out of your seat. 
“what?” you ask, a mixture of surprise and disbelief combining into a confusing vortex within your head - was he going to go through this again? you didn’t know if your heart could take it. 
“i mean, i remember you,” he says before you could awkwardly excuse yourself and commit to getting to work early for the first time in a year just to escape being in a room alone with him for much longer. “i’m sorry, i was just embarrassed. i didn’t want to make a fool out of myself in front of changbin.”
“oh,” your breath leaves you all at once and you slump into your chair, understanding hitting you like a train. “that makes sense? i think?”
“i’m going to marry you,” he repeats, a mischievous glint in his eyes, the boy from last night shining through. “one day. i’m going to do it.”
“take me on a date first,” you tease back, a genuine smile stretching across your lips when he laughs, a full bodied thing that drew in eyes from the patrons across the room. for once, you didn’t seem to care that others’ eyes were on you. he made you feel comfortable. 
“what are you doing tomorrow?” his mouth turns upwards into a beautiful smile that you can’t help but return. 
“eager, are we?” you open your phone, sliding it across the table with the new contact page open on it. “i’m free.”
“you’re the most perfect person i’ve ever laid eyes on,” he says, as serious and genuine as the way he had proposed to you last night as he taps his number into your phone. “sorry if i’m a bit desperate.”
“don’t apologize,” you take your phone back, making a mental note to text him later. “i like it, for some unearthly reason. you’re cute, chan.”
the sound of his delighted laugh follows your footsteps all the way to work. 
— 
he picks you up for your first date at noon, right on the dot. he wasn’t a minute late, a polite knock sounding through your apartment just as the hour turned, as if he had been waiting and watching the time outside the door. 
god, is everything about this man endearing? 
he’s wearing shorts and a light sweater, looking like something out of a posh magazine. his hair is curly and swept off his forehead and he’s wearing a smile with the most adorable dimples shining through. 
he leads you to his car and you have to hold back an impressed whistle. you knew changbin and his team did well for themselves, the name 3racha all over the credits of songs on the radio, but this car was nice. you were going to have a talk with changbin about why he still drove the same beat up sedan he’s had since college but that was a thought for later. right now all you wanted to think about was the man who held the door open for you to slide into the passenger seat and was now holding your hand over the middle console. 
“do i get to know where we’re going?” you ask, peering at the map open on his phone but it tells you nothing more than that your destination was 15 minutes away and that he had to make a right turn in one mile. 
“it’s a surprise,” he says, voice a little nervous but it was masked with excitement. wherever he was taking you, you would be happy to be there if he was this happy the whole time. 
four songs on the radio later, one of which you teased him for when he revealed that he wrote it, he was pulling into a parking lot illuminated by flashing colorful lights. he had brought you to the fair. 
“i’ve never been to the fair!” you bounced a little in your seat, wriggling in excitement. “i’ve always wanted to go, how did you know?”
“lucky guess?” he shrugs, avoiding your gaze as he cuts the engine and unbuckles his seatbelt. 
“changbin told you, didn’t he,” you smile at the thought of chan asking his friend about what you’d like. it was cute, a word that you were probably exhausting when thinking about him even after a day of knowing him. 
“yes, but,” he flushes, the tips of his ears burning red. “i asked him after i had decided to come here, just to make sure it was a good idea. i didn’t steal it from him.”
“hey, it’s okay,” you squeeze his hand in yours that he had yet to let go of in what you hoped was a comforting gesture. you didn’t know what brought him calmness yet, but you wanted to learn. you wanted to learn everything about him. “now, take me to the fair, bang chan. i was promised a date.”
he finally meets your eyes again and he’s grinning so happily that you feel like you had just won a prize. who needed a fair when you had your very own carnival game right here? 
it turns out, you did. by the time the sun was beginning to set, your arms were full of various plushies that chan had won for you, each one earning him a hug and a kiss to his cheek. you treasured every single one, the fluttering in your chest when he stepped up to the booths to throw and shoot various things never ceasing. 
“let’s go to the ferris wheel,” you tug at him with your free hand, thanking the skies when you see no queue there. “i bet the sunset looks beautiful from the top.”
he’s quiet when he follows you there and into the carriage, his thigh pressing against yours as he slides in next to you, but you don’t notice in your excitement. it isn’t until the wheel ticks to the top and stops that he grabs your hand again, trembling a little. 
“chan? are you okay?” you ask, concern warping your voice as you turn towards him. your movement rocks the carriage a bit and he turns pale, ducking his head into your neck to hide. 
“yeah, ‘m okay,” he murmurs, his eyelashes ticking your skin when he blinks his eyes shut. “just don’t like heights very much.”
“oh my god, why didn’t you tell me?” you cry out, jumping a bit and regretting it when you rock the carriage again. “nevermind that, what can i do? it’ll go down soon, you’ll be alright.”
“just keep holding my hand?” he squeezes your fingers lightly and your heart melts. you may have made a joke that he was just trying to trick you into holding his hand any other time, but the fear in his shaking body was real and you’d never tease him for that. 
“of course,” you press a kiss to his hair, moving your other hand slowly to wrap around your intertwined fingers. the wheel begins to turn again, swaying the carriage as it descends. you keep your grip on his hand tight the entire time, all the way until you’re on your feet again on steady ground. 
“i’m so sorry,” you begin to say, the horror of subjecting him to his fear creeping up now that the crisis has passed. 
“i’m going to marry you,” he says, cutting off your apology and lifting your hands to his mouth so he could press a kiss to the back of yours. “no one’s ever been able to keep me that calm. thank you.”
you were left speechless after that and all you could do was smile at him, the ghost of it not leaving your face for the rest of the night. 
your thirty first date with chan ends with you crying into changbin’s arms, utterly confused and the feeling of despair creeping up your veins. you had met him your cafe as you had done several times since the fair, but when you arrived he wasn’t there. he came late, dark storms in his eyes and a hard set to his jaw and you didn’t understand what had made him like that. the usual smile and twinkle in his eyes were missing, and when you and asked him about what was wrong he had snapped at you in a way you hadn’t been talked to in years. 
you had left after that, brushing him off when his eyes had widened and he reached for you while calling out your name. you know that you should have given him a chance to explain, but at the time you were too hurt to consider it. 
you made your way to changbin’s apartment without thinking, your feet taking you to safety before your head could catch up. changbin had taken one look at your face before wrapping you up in his arm, walking you to his couch so he could cuddle you properly while words spilled out of you like a leaky faucet. you felt like you were back in college, crying and blubbering over a boy who had rejected you at a party, and you hated it. 
you didn’t notice changbin sending an angry text to chan, but the sound of changbin’s door opening with a bang startled you out of your tears. chan bursts in like a whirlwind, his hair sticking up at weird angles and a look of panic on his face as he takes you in. he reaches the couch in a few strides and falls to his knees in front of you, holding a crumpled bag from the cafe in his hand and taking your cheek gently into his other. his thumb wipes at the tear tracks there and you could practically taste the guilt emanating off of him. 
“love, i am so sorry,” he starts, ignoring changbin when he scoffs at the apology. “i shouldn’t have snapped at you, i had no right to do that. i got some bad news this morning and i wasn’t feeling my best, and i should have been honest with you. i’ll never do anything like that again, please forgive me? i’ll do anything.”
it was more his voice than his words that did it - he sounded so desperate, like he was trying to hold
onto a ledge that was crumbling, threatening to hurl his body into eternal nothingness. you knew him, you knew he was sorry, and against your first instinct you trusted him when he said he wouldn’t do it again. 
“is that an almond croissant?” you eye the bag in his hand. 
“it’s two almond croissants,” he nods fervently, his hair swishing back and forth with the movement. you sit up, sliding out of changbin’s arms and onto the floor in front of chan. chan’s arms replace changbin’s easily when you lean into him, and it feels like coming home. 
“it’s not like i have a nice couch you could be sitting on,” changbin mutters as he leaves, shaking his head fondly at the two of you before making himself scarce. 
chan kisses you, cradling your head gently into his hands, and they’re so warm. he slides his lips against yours, slowly like he’s taking his time memorizing the planes of your mouth to commit to memory. even after kissing him dozens of times you still find new things to learn about each other. 
“i swear,” he says, pulling away to meet your eyes. “i’m going to marry you, someday.”
“keep getting me croissants as apologies and we’ll see,” you say, sniffling into his neck. 
your eighty seventh date was spent in your bed, your head spinning like both hands on a clock simultaneously and your body exuding more sweat than you ever have. 
chan is wringing out a cool cloth to place on your forehead and it feels so nice that you moan. 
“i’m sorry,” you mutter, and chan has lost count of the amount of times you’ve said it at this point. “we had a date and i ruined it.”
“we were going to see a movie,” he says, running a hand up and down your spine. “and we will. we don’t need a movie theater when we have a screen right here, hmm?” 
“but the popcorn,” you complain, closing your eyes in bliss when he runs a hand through your hair, scratching gently at your scalp. an apology for being so sweaty was at the tip of your tongue but you hold it back in favor of enjoying the feeling of his touch. 
“i’ll make you all the popcorn you want when you’re feeling better,” he promises, dropping a kiss to the side of your head. “for now, how does soup sound?” 
“popcorn soup?“ you ask, a wave of dizziness taking over your body; if you weren’t lying down already, you’re sure that too would be falling over. 
“yeah, baby,” and even in your delirium the fondness in his voice was prominent. he couldn’t hide it even if he tried. “i’ll make you some popcorn soup. get some rest okay?”
you’re asleep before he leaves the room, and you only wake up when he shakes your shoulder a bit and helps you into an upright position. he feeds you bites of what is definitely not popcorn soup after putting a movie on your laptop, the screen sitting at the foot of your bed. the both of you fall asleep before the movie finishes, but you don’t mind. 
he stays with you for days, making you soup and tea and toast and feeding you medicine and being an all-around angel as he nurses you back to health. by the time you’re better you think you’ve fallen back in love with him several times. 
as you had expected and warned him about, he catches your sickness the next week, and now it’s your turn to be his nurse. you try and do the same job he did, but his delirium seems worse. the silver lining is that his fever isn’t as bad, so you’re babysitting a babbling boyfriend more than a sick one. 
the night before his fever breaks is the worst, since he doesn’t even recognize you. you shake your head at his silliness when he asks who you are and calls you pretty. you smile when he takes your hand in his and asks you to come closer. 
you tear up when he tells you that he has a girlfriend that he loves very much and so even though you’re pretty he can’t do anything else because his girlfriend is the prettiest one in the whole world. you let a tear slip when he tells you that he can’t wait to propose to his girlfriend and that he’s going to marry her someday. 
you tell him that you have a boyfriend that you're going to marry someday, trusting that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning. 
your hundredth and fifth date was not unlike your fifth, or your tenth, or your ninetieth. two and a half years later, you were just as endeared by him and he was just as obsessed with you - even more so, if it were possible. 
he takes the time to tell you how gorgeous you look when he picks you up just like he does on every date, and you hide your disgustingly fond smile for him behind his back like you do every time you see him. 
he parks and runs around the car to let you out like he does every time you habit this restaurant, a little fancier than your usual best but it was a favorite of the both of yours - across the street from the bar the two of you had met at. 
you start walking before he does, letting him jog to meet you and complain about how you left him, just like you do every time. before him. you might have thought the monotony would have gotten tiring, but he had a fantastical ability to make every moment feel like the first despite their practiced nature. 
he calls your name from behind you right on schedule and you hum in acknowledgement, turning towards him absentmindedly. the second you lay eyes on him you’re completely alert, though; he isn’t jogging after you, but rather he’s kneeling on the sidewalk, a small box in his hands as he smiles up at you. 
“i’ve told you that i’m going to marry you more times than i can count,” he starts, eyes shining like the stars twinkling in the night sky above you. “but this time i’m asking you.”
“chan,” you choke out, hands coming up to cover your mouth as it quivers. tears spring to your eyes and you silently curse yourself - you always thought you’d be level headed when you got proposed to, but nothing could have prepared you for this, not even the thousands of declarations he had made to you prior. 
“i love you. you’re the only one in the entire universe that i need more than blood or breath, you’re the song that runs through my heart and the fire that leads my path when i’m lost,” his voice is thick, like he’s trying to hold back his emotions long enough to get his words out. “i never thought that i would feel so strongly for someone, i never thought that i deserved a love like this until i met you.”
he pauses as you walk closer to him, letting you approach him before he continues. 
“my love, my eternal light,” he’s tearing up now, blinking fast to keep the salty water at bay. “will you marry me?”
“chan,” you start, kneeling down next to him and taking his wrists in your hands. “i never told you this, but ever since that first day i knew. i knew that the drunk idiot that was hitting on me would be my husband.”
he chuckles, smiling delightedly as the tears finally spring from both of your eyes in unison.
“so?” he trails off, searching your face with his eyes, waiting. 
“oh!” you tighten your grip on him in an apology. “of course i’ll marry you, gosh i love you so much.”
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pedulum-chronometry · 4 months ago
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Fuck that particular specialist! 🖕🤬
They did the bare minimum - “you’re getting xyz of this and getting enough of that” treating it very much like a checklist and not consultation about a multilayered person with needs and issues. They failed to meet you where you are.
Good and great doctors/specialists both listen to your problems, talk about where you are currently and where you should or could be (the checklist part is in here), and work with you to make a game plan to fix or lessen symptoms. They barely scratched the surface of what they should be doing. And honestly even if you are actually getting all the nutrients you need, they should be looking at ways of lessening your discomfort and improving your quality of life.
Maybe this was miscommunication or maybe they just suck. But don’t forsake everything! One shitty appointment/provider doesn’t mean it’s over forever. You have many options!
Make a specific list of needs or complaints for next appointment and make your problems their problems. ‘I vomit every time I eat xyz can we look into other ways to get the nutrients that food provides or other forms I might tolerate better? If you can’t help me I think I’ll just stop eating it altogether.’ Red flag highlight and underline that shit for them. You shouldn’t need to hold their hand through this but sometimes you gotta work with what you got.
Or find someone else -> SECOND OPINION!!!! If this one fucker can’t help you that doesn’t mean that no one in their field can. You may have just gotten a frog among princes. Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere.
Also, there is the Sometimes Better Sometimes Worse 3rd option: ask people with similar stuff going on how they do it/cope. Find a forum or website, hell google specifics and see what pops. (This is how I learned about certain hacks for my mood disorder). Illness can be isolating but there is probably someone else out there going through exactly the same thing as you, you just need to find them.
Also, if it truly isn’t something they can help with, get them to write that shit down! Documentation is the king of the medical world. You need your gp to acknowledge that this isn’t what you need or isn’t helping? Get your specialist to write a note or email them. A simple ‘Patient is eating proper nutritionally complete diet with no allergies or special dietary needs, general nausea and discomfort persist. Suggest other gastrointestinal specialist or nausea medication to lessen symptoms’ - coming from the right person can change your life. Doctors might not believe you but they will listen to each other more easily. That’s a life hack if there ever was one.
I’m sorry you have had the Shitty Medical Experience. Unfortunate and completely relatable. You just gotta keep at it - find a new angle or workaround. The problem persists but so too should you! You know you have a problem. You know your body better than anyone else so don’t let someone tell you that you are fine when you’re not.
Bruh I had my dietitian appointment that I’ve been waiting 6 months for just to get told to go back to the gp bc it’s “not a food issue”
YEAH NO SHIT LADY
Literally everything I eat makes me feel sick / throw up and or other really fun bodily functions that I don’t want to even think about
I had to fill out so many forms of invasive and incredibly personal information about my body and the reactions it had, for this lady to NOT EVEN LOOK AT THEM
She saw I filled out the food diary (everything I ate made me sick / ill / uncomfortable) but told me that I will still getting the nutrients I need despite it making me so sick so I should continue doing that
The only reason that food log was filled out our properly was because I was told to, otherwise it wouldn’t be
She said that because I have nice skin (I have hEDS my skin will always look a certain way because of this condition) and the fact that I’m not malnourished (and am not underweight) that there’s nothing wrong with me
So great. I’m back to the start, triggered (she told me my weight even after I asked her not to) and told me she sees sicker people then me and therefore it’s not a food issue and I’m fine.
So yay. I’m completely fucked.
If anyone has any advice or suggestions I would love to hear them because I’m desperate at this point.
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peachesofteal · 2 months ago
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The Crypt anthology
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“You dropped this.”
You whirl on a dime, legs twisting together and rolling you off balance at the last second, the stranger’s hand shooting out to try to steady you before you catch yourself. “Alright little love?” Powder blue eyes hold you tight, some sort of virose thrall bearing down into your temples, rooting around in the matter between your ears.
“I’m fine.” You manage, but the words lack conviction. Long fingers dig in the soft spirals of your brain, looking for something, picking and pulling.
“Lookin’ a bit peckish there, sure you’re alright?” All you can manage is a nod, one foot sliding behind the other, placing you firmly out of reach.
“I’m fine.” The two words are all you can manage, still trying to escape the trance, the dark tug behind your ribs. Long silence plays out, and with a closer look, you register him fully. Tall. Broad. Shoulders wide enough to close in around you, green jacket faded into sun parched moss. It wouldn’t button around his chest, the waffle henley beneath doing you no favors by the way it tapers to his belt, a strong jaw cloaked by a swath of beard and moustache.
Older than you, stronger than you, an astral man amidst a city of depravity.
Step closer.
A storm cracks outside, thunder rattling the windows, your vision tunneling inside the market, people doing their shopping ebbing around you, a rock in water, stalls and their goods fading into the distance.
The only thing you can see is this stranger and his bright blue eyes. “Thanks,” you croak, knuckles tense on the strap of your bag, net of spilled oranges now safely tucked inside the canvas. When did that happen? Your smile is forced, seasick though the ground is solid beneath you, and when the eye contact breaks to flicker over your shoulder, you jolt back to your sense, and turn away.
The blue eyes stay with you all the way home, into your flat, through the night. You think about them as you cook yourself dinner, as you pour yourself a too generous glass of wine. You feel them as you curl up on the couch, malignant presence lingering just outside your window.
It’s only once you undress and slip under your blankets that you finally feel a semblance of peace, as if the gaze has moved on, the undying focus abated in a sliver of moonlight.
Your dreams are filled with blood.
An oil slick across an ocean, too vast to know where it ends and begins, you fight to keep your head above water, legs kicking frivolously in the dark, terror tight around your throat, horror lurking on the outside of your mind. Thalassophobia renders you almost useless, the panic just enough to keep the drowning at bay.
Can you die in a dream?
A hand appears from nowhere, and you cling to it, wailing and gasping until you’re pulled ashore, laid flat on your back against black stone sand.
“Alright little love?” Him. The same eyes peer down, shining like the sun, chasing away the darkness settled in around you. He stuns you.
“Y-yeah.” He’s close enough cigar smoke permeates your air, your fingers gripping the front of his shirt like a lifejacket. It takes a moment, a second of realization-
You’re covered in blood. Hands, feet, forearms, face. It coats your lips, iron and earth in your nose, soaked all the way to your lungs. Heavier than tar, slicked to your windpipe, drowning your beating heart in ichor.
“Oh god, oh my god, what- what is this, what is this-“ You’ve never heard your own voice at this pitch, shrill, piercing, the sound of someone crying, the sound of someone freefalling.
That can’t be you, can it?
“Easy now.” He holds you by the shoulders. The sun and moon cycle overhead, light and darkness rotating, disorienting you further, a whimper crawling from your throat. “Shhh, I know, I know,” he rubs your temple, thumb stained ruby red, and then lifts it to his mouth, lips curled into a devilish smile, “knew you’d be perfect f’me.” The ground begins to shake, the sky splitting apart, white tendrils snaking across the sea to your ankles, and he frown, disappointment lingering in the lines of his face. The rough scrape of his beard presses to your cheek with a kiss, and he nestles a coin into the palm of your hand, the dream turning opaque before disappearing completely, your eyes opening to ceiling of your bedroom.
Just a dream, you remind yourself throughout the day. Just a dream, though it’s nearly impossible to keep your mind from wandering, remembering, tasting the salt of the ichor like it’s still fresh on your tongue.
“Hey!” Your coworker snaps her fingers, alarm flashing across her face. “Are you okay? You look… sick.”
“I’m just tired.”
“Maybe you should call it a day. Seriously, you look like death.” Your agreement is weak as she practically shoves you out the door. “Go home and take a nap or something.”
“Hello again.” Your heart jolts, battering against your bones in a frantic beat. “No need to be scared.” You blink. “I’m John… from the market yesterday? You dropped your oranges?”
“John.” Your tongue ties around his name, and though its polite to give yours, you can’t force it out. His brow furrows.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Good sense and manners appear, spurred on by years of chastising by your mother, and you grimace.
“Oh. Sorry. I’m a bit under the weather.” He looms ahead of you, blocking a portion of the sidewalk.
“Headed home then?” You nod. “I’ll walk you.”
“Oh, no. That’s not necessary.” He gives you a sharp look, the dispel to an argument, razored, jagged teeth closing in around your attempt at a refusal, and pulls at your wrist, thumb holding steady over your pulse point, heart rate slowing from a panic to a lull.
Your head hangs, and you slump, exhaustion tugging your limbs down towards the ground. The path doesn’t split before you, no way to choose one way or another, hedgerows too tall to peer over, lost and unable to discern the way. Your hands find your pockets, and brush across something unfamiliar and cool.
A coin.
Darkness closes in around you-
And the word goes black.
You wake in a bed.
Not your bed.
It’s big, wide enough your legs and arms spread out with touching the edge of the mattress. The sheets are fine, cotton you could never afford, threads delicate, spun silk. Luxury. A far cry from your one-bedroom flat.
“There you are.” Time jolts, bringing you into the present with startling speed, a hand clasping over your mouth before you can release a scream. “No need for that.”
“John?” You mumble into his palm. Your head is natant, woozy with the rocking, feet scrambling on a ship far away, desperate to hold tight to a rail, a lifeline, a moment of balance in a violent storm. “I’m gonna be sick.”
There’s a haunting, familiar taste on your lips and you lick them over and over, the tip of an iceberg, a memory just barely visible above placid water. You grasp at it, tug yourself closer, swallow the nostalgia until it rears its head-
Blood.
Horror wraps an unforgiving fist around your throat.
“What-“
“Welcome home.” What? Your feet tangle in the sheets, a net around your ankles. His big, warm hand flattens over your chest, blue gaze honing in, the predator ready to devour his prey. “Can hear your heart, little love.”
“This isn’t my h-home.”
“It is now.” He’s casual, leaning by your hip, now stroking deft fingers over your ribs. “This is my home, and now it’s yours too. You don’t need to worry, you’ll be well cared for.” The cold green sick feeling surges, and you roll over to the side of the mattress, spewing the contents of your stomach onto polished hardwood floors.
It’s not bile, or water, or even food.
It’s red. Dark red, dripping off your lips like rain, flooding the grooves beneath you. He rubs your back like you’re a child who needs soothing, grip tight on your arm when you try to rip away.
“It won’t always be like this,” he coos, clucking his tongue in sympathy, “the taste is difficult to get used to.”
“The taste of what?”
“Blood.”
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ozzgin · 9 months ago
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Hii I was wondering if u could do a yandere Kazuya x yn x yandere Daitou I’m not sure if u do character x yn x character tho
Yandere! Yakuza x Reader Spinoff
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Two yakuza men who have fallen in love with their new foreign tenant. A what-if spinoff to the original story for that love triangle spice. Happy Valentine's Day!
Content: female reader, NSFW, organized crime, obsessive behavior, violence, BDSM themes (choking), threats
Credits: My boyfriend for giving me the Daitou smut idea
[Main Story] | [General Headcanons]
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Kazuya is sitting on the sidewalk, checking his watch occasionally and tapping his foot. The cigarette seems to have been forgotten, hanging lowly from his lips.
"Sorry I'm late." Daitou speedily makes his way towards his friend, smiling awkwardly.
"Where the fuck were you, man? We don't know how much time we have before the cops arrive."
"Uh uh, leave it to me." The cheeky grin doesn't leave his face as he pulls out his gun and carefully but swiftly inspects the barrel and safety one final time. "(Y/N) needed some help with the mailbox. I couldn't just say no, ya know?"
The blonde man's eyebrows raise for a second, but he quickly recollects himself.
"I see. That's good."
"She asked me to show her the area tomorrow, so I'll be working extra hard tonight. Hehe."
"That's good."
Daitou glances at Kazuya, somewhat wary.
"You okay?"
Stupid question. What's he supposed to answer? Yeah, he loves waiting like a dumbass while his friend flirts with the new tenant, who conveniently happens to be a cute foreigner, who's been unexpectedly nice and relaxed around them despite them explicitly stating they're part of the Japanese mafia. Fucking hell. It doesn't help that this idiot is as obvious as a blaring, blinding cluster of ads smack in the middle of Kabukicho. He can tell from miles away that Daitou's completely fallen for her. Just like that, in an instant.
They've been partners and best friends for years now, so the natural reaction would be happiness, right? Daitou has always been one scary motherfucker. Even the seniors scramble when he's in the room, let alone women. For him to find someone that isn't bothered the slightest by his appearance or background should be a celebratory occasion. Kazuya should be rooting for him. Except, well, he fell for you just as hard. Tough luck.
The Bushido moral code, often used as guidance within their own lifestyle, covers matters such as loyalty and honesty quite extensively. A true warrior remains fiercely faithful to his master or companions. And yet, love interests are more of a grey area, especially if they happen to overlap. Who dictates the proper etiquette for this dilemma? To whom is loyalty directed towards? Truth be told, Kazuya couldn’t care less. He’s always been a man of vice, impulsive and greedy. If he wants something, he takes it.
The trouble starts when the other person is of the same mindset. Two ferocious predators eyeing the same victim.
***
You fiddle next to the tall, dark-haired man. Similarly, Daitou is avoiding eye contact, looking around in hopes of finding something to focus on. It’s the first time he’s come over since the incident. After his little mission with Kazuya, he was tasked to “interrogate” some of the remaining members to get even more names for the hitlist. He’d completely forgotten about his promise to show you the neighborhood. Hands sticky with blood, he was in the middle of his signature act of benevolence, putting the lad out of his misery.
It was around that time you decided to be the one picking him up instead, for your grand tour. Your knocks on the door remained unheard, however, so you decided to politely make your way in.
“Sorry, I hope I’m not-”
You froze in place. A man (you assumed at least based on the few visible traits left), tied up on the chair, canvas bag roped around his head. Daitou’s hands were secured around his throat. In the few seconds of silence, you could hear a muffled wheezing, as the stranger’s chest heaved in short convulsions.
“-intruding.” You mumbled, regaining your speech.
He messed up, didn’t he? Daitou sighs and slicks his hair back. He can’t blame you if you’re now terrified of him. He had to come over for some tenant checkups and you’ve been maintaining a safe distance from him during his entire visit. What can he possibly tell you? “Hey, I know I threatened to chop you up and you’ve now witnessed firsthand I’m a legit murderer, but, uh…I have a crush on you? Dinner at seven?”
You’re terrified alright, but not of his deeds. Rather, your newly discovered perversion as a consequence of the gory scene. It’s not that you relished in the torment of another. It’s the other details that left you reminiscing. Daitou’s imposing frame, the unbuttoned shirt revealing his traditional tattoos glistening in beads of sweat, his flexed, brawny arms, and large hands. You’re scared of your shamelessness. It can’t be normal. Yet you can’t stop thinking about it. Just a glimpse into this memory and your cheeks become burning red.
“I’ll be on my way then”, the yakuza announces politely.
Though he immediately stops in his tracks, and you realize you’ve unconsciously grabbed onto his sleeve. Uh oh. What now? You mumble an apology without releasing your hold. Being this close to him makes your heart drum inside your chest.
To hell with it.
“I might say something terribly inappropriate right now, but…”
“Sorry?” He stares at you, dumbfounded.
“Do you have anything planned after this?” You ask quietly.
“N-no?”
“Would you mind staying over?”
“Huh? Sure…w-what for?” His mouth is dry, and he searches your eyes in confusion.
“You know…” Choke me until I pass out and such, you think to yourself sarcastically.
He turns to face you, lips pursed awkwardly.
“You’ll have to be clear with me, Miss (Y/N). I’m not good with all this tiptoeing around and I might get the wrong idea.”
Your ears perk up hearing his final words, a deep blush now spreading over your flustered features.
“What wrong idea?”
Daitou fidgets with his glass prosthetic nervously.
“Well, uh, a man can only dream, ya know? Especially around a cute girl like you.” He reveals with a stutter.
“Suppose I’d be willing to go along with anything on your mind. What then?” You twirl your hair, gazing shyly at the floor. Not even you can believe the audacity leaving your lips.
The tall man steps before you, towering above with a certain gleam in his eye. It’s yearning. Your knees weaken.
“Don’t tease me, please. I can hardly control myself around you as it is.”
You release his sleeve and instead cling onto his shirt with both hands, looking up through your lashes.
“I’m dead serious.”
He ponders his next move with a click of the tongue, then cups your cheeks between his hands and lowers himself until his hot breath tickles your nose.
“Are you? There’s no going back after this. Can you handle it?” His voice is suddenly deeper, raspier.
Before you can respond, you feel yourself lifted and you yelp, surprised, instinctively wrapping your limbs around the yakuza. In between the greedy kisses that leave your lips bruised and swollen, you don’t notice the movement back towards the seating area.
As you pull away to gasp for air, he throws you onto the couch, flipping you over in the process so that you’re kneeling away from him. Your nails dig into the soft fabric of the sofa. You hear Daitou unbuckle his belt and you squeeze your legs together, heavily aroused. He presses his palm gently into your back, arching it. You sense his fingers grazing over your core and you whimper.
“G-go on, please.” You beg, swaying your hips tentatively. “I really can’t wait anymore.”
“As you wish, Miss.” He reassures you with a grin.
He adjusts himself and carefully makes his way in. You don’t have time to enjoy the feeling; following almost instantly is his belt looped around your neck, tightening under his grip as he pulls the ends towards him. Your head is forced back, and you groan. You can hear the leather stretch and creak over your assaulted skin, the constriction briefly cutting your oxygen intake. Hot drool trickles down your chin and your eyes almost roll back in pleasure.
“Look at my little Miss (Y/N), taking it like a champion.” He bends over and bites your earlobe playfully. “Does that mean I can be as rough as I want?”
You nod erratically.
The grip around your throat intensifies and your vision becomes blurry.
“Hey, don’t pass out now.” He inserts two fingers in your mouth, pulling you by the cheek and tilting your head to look him in the eye. “Not before you show me that you understand your situation. You’re mine. Is that clear?”
He drags his fingers downwards, aiding your response as you struggle to contract your muscles.
“Attagirl.” He concludes, satisfied.
In the morning you wake up with a dreadful soreness, and you can quickly see why. Your body is peppered in bruises. Daitou is smoking by the window and promptly flicks his cigarette out once he realizes you’re no longer asleep.
“Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” He begins, remorseful, and squats in front of the bed. “I hope I didn’t hurt you.”
“I will need a day or two to recover before the next time, but otherwise I’m fine.”
He beams with delight upon registering your words: next time. You can’t help but snicker at his childish enthusiasm. It’s a mystery how Daitou can switch between ruthless killer and cute partner with such ease.
Although it’s no secret, really. It’s you.
***
“Thanks for driving me home, Kazuya.”
You smile and unbuckle your seatbelt, reaching for the door handle. Daitou has been busy with work for the past days, so Kazuya took his place in looking after your needs.
“Huh?” You rattle the grab handle one more time to make sure. “It’s still locked.”
The blonde raps the wheel impatiently with his fingers. Is he to silently accept his loss? Does it even count as a loss when he hasn’t even had the chance to present his piece? Daitou has been quiet about it, but he can read that bastard like an open book. Something definitely happened between the two of you and the mere thought drives him insane.
Ah, this is so unlike him. There are few things he cares about. His pride, his Family’s honor, his freedom. Women aren’t exactly on that list, yet somehow, you’ve snuck your way to the very top of priorities and he’s realizing it just now. It’s becoming harder to ignore his maddening urge to have you. Out of all the things…He’d give Daitou the world. But not you. He can’t. He can’t.
“Kazuya? Are you listening? You forgot to unlock the door.”
“Say, (Y/N) …ever fucked in a car before?”
“What?” You ask, baffled.
“Come here for a moment.” He swiftly slides his seat all the way back and pats his thigh.
“Are you out of your mind?”
He answers your inquiry by pulling out his handgun and lazily pointing it towards you.
“I’m only going to ask once.”
You clumsily climb over the center console, straddling the yakuza with a slight pout.
“Someone’s in a sour mood, that’s for sure”, you complain. “It’s not even loaded.”
“Even I’m not crazy enough to risk shooting my Princess.” He smiles apologetically, throwing the gun on the backseat. “I thought it’d be more threatening that way.”
He removes a strand of hair from your face, gazing at you intently. His hand lingers for a second, before sliding its way down, tracing the side of your body. You shiver.
“Can you truly blame me when there’s such a pretty girl right before my eyes?” The blonde exhales and focuses on your shirt instead. “Won’t you let me prove myself?”
From this distance, despite the dim lights, you can discern his features in agonizing detail. His long lashes, his fleshy lips, currently parted, the luscious locks of hair casually thrown back. Kazuya has always been effortlessly handsome. It’s not just his good looks, but his overflowing charisma. He always knows exactly what to say and do. A devilish power to have over people, and you’re presently his victim.
His slender fingers play with your first button and cheekily undo it. You can only observe it, entranced. Your legs are weak, and your arms are stuck in place, resting limply over his broad shoulders.
“May I?” He glances up at you with a pleading expression. “I won’t be able to hold back afterwards.”
You bite your lower lip, distracted. Whether or not this is a wise choice, you can’t currently tell. You squirm in his lap and suddenly feel the pressure coming from below.
“Go ahead.” You finally confess.
He doesn’t hesitate and slithers his hand underneath your shirt, popping the rest of the buttons open. Like a hungry animal that has stumbled upon a feast, he sinks his teeth into your neck, leaving mean, wet kisses on his way down.
One hand is greedily kneading your curves, encouraged by your soft whimpers, while the other strokes your thigh in anticipation. With a bit of readjustment, he finds the right spot between your trembling legs. You jolt at the sensation of his cold fingers.
“My, you’re already dripping. How lewd.” He whispers between breaths. “Do you want it now?”
He nonchalantly slips out and undoes his own pants. You lift yourself expectantly and let a moan escape your lips upon feeling the erection throbbing right below.
“Well then, can’t forget our manners, can we?” He announces, visibly excited. “What should I do?”
You glare at him, feverish.
“Stop teasing me.”
“Come on, be a good girl. Tell me what to do and I will do it, Love.”
Why, this…You lower yourself to his ear and answer in a lulled whine.
“Isn’t it obvious? I want you to fuck me.”
Words enough to send the blonde man over the edge. He abruptly clutches your thighs for support, easing himself in before continuing with increasingly aggressive thrusts. Husky whimpers roll out of his mouth, desperate and starved.
“Oh, I’ve waited so long for this. My darling, perfect little (Y/N).” He presses his forehead into your chest, indulging in the moment. “Now say that you’re mine. Please. Please say it.”
“I’m…ah…I’m all yours, Kazuya.” You manage to blurt out, growing dizzy.
“That’s my girl. Such a good girl.”
Once the deed is finished, you flop your head over his chest, trying to catch your breath. Kazuya smoothens your clothes meticulously, holding you with one arm for support. Can’t leave a lady all disheveled, after all.
“Won’t Daitou be upset?” You point out, somewhat anxiously.
His muscles are tense for a second and he furrows his brows.
“That’s one strange way to thank me for making you come at least twice. Mentioning another man’s name.”
“I’m just…” your words trail off.
“What? Worried? You think I can’t handle it or something?”
Far from the truth. Both Kazuya and Daitou are violent, dangerous men. Given their stubbornness, you’re rather certain they’d end up killing each other. Not your favorite outcome.
“I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”
He sighs loudly.
“I’ll tell you what. Under normal circumstances, I’d probably dismember whoever had the guts to even entertain the idea of meddling with you. But…just because it’s Daitou, I might be willing to share. Nothing more than that.”
Kazuya ruffles your hair and chuckles.
“Aren’t you glad I’m such a diplomat, Love?”
“More like batshit crazy, both of you.” You retort, stretching.
2K notes · View notes
dreaming-medium · 1 year ago
Text
Stray Kids Kinktober Day 6
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Stray Kids Kinktober Masterlist
Frottage - Bang Chan
Word Count: 8.8k
Summary: Being an award winning actress isn’t as easy as some might think. Award shows themself are one of the more difficult events to tackle. But luckily, during this ceremony, you get to meet some of your favorite idols, and they get to meet their favorite actress.
—————————————————————
“And after the awards ceremony there’s an after party at The Plaza.” Your agent’s voice is strictly business in the back of the limousine. 
You’re playing with the fabric of your gown while absentmindedly listening to her. 
“Do I have to be on set tomorrow?”
“Yes, your call is at 9:00 AM. Transportation will be at your hotel at 7:30.”
You groan and look up at the ceiling. “Why do they always put these award shows on weekdays?”
“Your weekends aren’t exactly free anymore, either.” 
Yes, you’re aware. 
The life of an actress was not easy. Especially an award winning one. Right now, you are the hot, new, up-and-coming actress that everyone has their eye on. The actress that every director wants in their movie, their TV show, their commercials– everything.
Currently, you’re in the middle of filming a TV show that has a high fantasy aesthetic to it. You’re the main role in the show, the main badass warrior that everyone roots for. The kind of character that has a million and thirty Tik Tok edits of her.
It’s one of those shows where your character is constantly going through the wringer. The amount of bruises that you have to sport on camera increases each day; real and fake. 
Your nerves begin to creep up on you the closer you get to the award venue. 
Red carpets were one of the hardest parts of the job. Memorizing lines? Easy. Learning blocking and fight choreo? You do that every day. 
Talk to strangers and pose for pictures? No, thank you. 
Who were you wearing again?
“This dress is Gucci, right?”
“No, it’s Christian Siriano. I’m glad you asked. Your jewelry is Gucci and your shoes are Prada.”
You stare at your agent blankly, she hasn’t looked up from her tablet once. You were not made for this part of the job.
“Jesus…” you sigh and lean back into the cushioned seat. 
“While we’re at it, do you even know what award you’re up for?”
“Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series, right?”
“And?”
“And?” you repeat incredulously. “I thought I was only up for one!”
Finally, your agent looks up with a smirk. “Trick question, you passed. Proud of you.”
You can’t help but laugh and look out the window. “You know I’m nervous as all hell, don’t test me.”
“Don’t be nervous. I’m sure you have this in the bag.”
“That’s exactly what I’m nervous about. I have to get up, walk up those stairs in these Gucci—“
“Prada.”
“Prada shoes. And then make an acceptance speech in front of everyone. Millions of people. No pressure.”
She laughs and looks down at her tablet again. “You’re very charming and everyone loves you, you can talk the paint off a wall, Y/N, just be yourself.”
Grumbling, you cross your arms over your chest. But you can’t sit still in that position for too long at all. You’re too fidgety. 
In front of you, there’s a chilled bottle of champagne. You pour it into one of the flutes and sip it entirely too fast for the quality of the drink. ‘Sip’ is putting it gently, you down it. 
A second glass is poured, but you choose to hold that one in your hand tightly. Absent-mindedly, you swirl the champagne around, watching the bubbles form and pop up at the top. 
A few moments of silence pass, you begin to mutter to yourself to ease the stress. “Christian Siriano dress, Gucci jewelry, Prada shoes. Christian Siriano dress, Gucci jewelry, Prada shoes..”
The crowd starts getting louder the closer you get to the event. Cameras are already flashing outside your limousine. 
“I haven’t even told you who’s going to be there.”
Your agent sounds extremely smug all of a sudden. When you look over at her, there’s a cocky smirk on her face. 
“Who?” With that look, you’re not even sure that you want to know the answer. 
“Maybe put the drink down before I tell you. Wouldn’t want you to spill it on your…”
“Christian Siriano.”
“Christian Siriano dress.”
After downing the contents once more, you put the glass down. 
“Okay, who?”
Her smile grows even wider. “You know Stray Kids, right?”
Your face pales, even under all that makeup all the color drains from your skin. 
“They’re going to be there?”
She knows, she knows you’ve been a fan for a while. You were a Stay before fame came your way. 
Your agent smiles and nods, the light from her tablet illuminating her face. 
“Don’t play with me,” your voice is strained. “That’s mean.”
You’ve been keeping your admiration of them on the down low for so long. Now that you’re in the public eye, you have to be very low key about things. 
It was killing you. 
“They did a soundtrack song for a show, it’s up for an award.”
You were nervous before. Now you’re downright hysterical. 
“They’re going to be there? All eight of them?”
“To my knowledge, yes.”
The limousine comes to a gradual stop. The screams outside are deafening, even through the car doors. 
“Will I see them?” You ask, gathering your skirt up to try and assist with a graceful exit out of the limo. 
“Probably!” There’s a little hint to her voice that you can’t quite put your finger on. What is she doing? What does she know? 
The driver comes around the limousine and you take a deep breath, activating your celebrity face. 
It’s never hard for you to muster a genuine smile. You’re humble about your life, you know how lucky you are. Thinking about how far you’ve come is all the motivation you need to let the corners of your lips perk up.
“Ready?” Your agent asks.
“Yes, ma’am!”
The door opens and the roar of the crowd goes insane. You’re practically blinded by the flashes of the cameras. 
You do your very best to keep a level head and follow the instructions of the security team around you. 
In the meantime, as you walk into the venue, you turn and smile at the fans behind the barricades. 
Sending them hand hearts, waving enthusiastically back at them. You look up at your head security guard.
“Can I please go sign a few autographs?”
He looks down at you, obviously annoyed. But annoyed in the fatherly way. Just by the look on his face, you knew he was going to say yes. 
You quickly pick up your skirt and walk over to the barricade. The screams get louder and louder the closer you get. 
“Hi! Hi!” You greet all the fans as they scream for you. So many different objects are thrust over the fence for you to sign. 
You grab a marker and begin leaving your signature over everything in sight: posters, shirts, books. 
Several selfies are taken with you. Every single fan is so sweet and kind that you can’t help but spend extra time with them. 
They reach out and grab your hands, you hold them back and have conversations with them. 
You always do this. It’s something you’re very well known for. 
“Miss Y/N.” your security guard says gruffly behind you. 
“Okay, okay. I gotta go, guys. It was so nice meeting you, and it was nice seeing you again!” You point to a fan that you recognized from a convention you attended a few months ago. 
After blowing a few more kisses, you leave the barricade and head towards the red carpet. 
If it was up to you, you would’ve stood there and talked with your fans all day and never gone into the awards ceremony. They’re the reason you’re here, after all. 
Walking along the carpet, you plaster a smile on your face and wave to all the photographers. You stand still right in the middle of the space and strike several different practiced poses. 
You make sure to look in all different directions and show off the dress hugging your body beautifully. 
It’s a dark yellow gown with huge puffed sleeves that sit off your shoulders. The center of the gown dips down to show off your cleavage. The rest of the skirt poofs out in a princess style. 
It’s absolutely gorgeous. Crafted to show off your body in the best way.
All the photographers call out your name, all of them trying to get your attention. 
You wave to several that you recognize and say hello to others. 
Your short minutes on the red carpet run out and you quickly make your way across to the other side to link arms with your agent. 
She pats your arm, “Great job! Now for the hard part.”
On the other side of the red carpet there are several different magazines, websites, and other fashion sources lined up with interviewers stationed in front of cameras. 
“I studied for this, remember?” you tease her and hug her arm closer before letting go. 
The first interview you do is with Vogue, they had grabbed your attention so fast you almost got whiplash. 
How’s the show? Who are you wearing? Are you nervous about tonight?
These are all questions you prepared for.  
Next interview was with Vanity Fair. You had recognized the interviewer, so you approached her first. 
“Y/N!” Her face lights up when she sees you.
“Hi!” you answer just as cheerfully, wrapping her in a big hug and then holding her out at arms length. “How have you been?”
“So good, you?”
“Can’t complain– busy. I’m so glad to see you!”
“Me too! Do you have time for an interview?” She asks hopefully. 
“I always have time for you.”
She says thank you and her camera man gets into place. A second microphone is handed to you. Before you can blink, she’s in interview mode. 
You smile and listen to her introduction.
“I am here with, Y/N L/N, star of the Emmy award winning show, Kings and Pirates. How are you doing tonight, Y/N?”
You lift the microphone up to your mouth and speak into it happily. “I’m doing great, thank you! Always a pleasure to be talking with you on the red carpet.”
“You flatter me, Y/N! Now tell us the obvious question here: Who are you wearing?”
“I am wearing an original Christian Siriano dress, Gucci jewelry, and Prada shoes.”
“The entire outfit is beautiful! An amazing dress to hopefully show off when you win Best Actress tonight…?”
You laugh humbly. “I don’t know, there are so many amazing actresses nominated tonight. A girl can hope, but when I see the other names around mine, I can’t help but be anxious.”
The interviewer opens her mouth to ask another question, but the crowd absolutely erupts in cheers. Louder than when you got out of your limo, louder than some concerts you’ve attended. 
“Oh my god, I think someone important just showed up.” You joked into the microphone. 
Both you and the interviewer are looking across the carpet, craning your necks to see if you can get a glimpse of whoever just stepped out. 
“Minho! Hyunjin! Felix!” Crowd members scream out several names and your heart rate skyrockets. 
“Oh my god, it’s Stray Kids.” You accidentally say into the mic. 
“Oh wow! Are you a Stay?” She asks you. Your head whips around and a dark blush covers your cheeks. 
Laughing nervously, you look down at the ground, suddenly sheepish. “Ah… well, yeah. I’ve been a fan of theirs for years now.”
“Did you know they were going to be here tonight?”
“I was told it was a possibility, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
Joke after joke makes the interviewer and her cameraman laugh. 
The interview continues without a hitch. But the entire time all you want to do is turn around  and see if you can catch a glimpse of Stray Kids. 
Yes, you’re famous. But you’re just a Stay at heart. 
You say your goodbyes with the interviewer and turn to move onto the next one. 
A gasp catches in your throat as soon as you step away. 
All eight of them are right there, doing their own interview with Buzzfeed. They’re smiling and laughing about something. 
You’re just able to stare. They’re right there. You’ve never been in the same space as them. 
Act professional, Y/N! Stop acting like a fangirl, you’re literally on the clock right now!
Their laughter is contagious and you find yourself smiling as you turn away and walk to another interviewer trying to flag you down. 
“… excited to maybe meet tonight? You guys are usually at music award shows, so this is definitely new for you! There’s some new faces that you probably have never seen before.”
“We actually were just talking about this on the ride over,” Chan says to the interviewer, ever the front man. “We’re all huge fans of Kings and Pirates, we watch it together every week when new episodes come out. We joked that it would be an amazing opportunity to say hi to Y/N L/N.”
It’s like the red carpet is pulled right out from underneath your feet. 
“But that would be like trying to get a private conversation with royalty, you know?”
You? They want to meet you? They watch your show? Every week? Together? 
“I think I just saw her around…” the interviewer trails off, by her tone you can tell she’s looking around for you. 
Act casual, Y/N. Pretend like you weren’t listening to every word of their interview closely. Act normal for once in your life.
“Ah, no way.” Chan’s thick accent reaches your ears. He sounds so shy by his tone. Several other members murmur and tease one another. 
“Oh, there she is! Y/N!” The interviewer grabs your attention— she technically already had it. 
The members begin to get louder when you turn your head to look at the entire group of them staring at you. 
When your eyes meet all of theirs, each of them freeze like a deer in headlights. Do they even know who they are?
You can’t tell if you’ve gone sheet white or bright red. Your heart is beating so fast it might explode. 
The interviewer waves you over, you look over at the other one you were walking to and hold up a finger to say ‘one moment’ before walking over to the large group of them. 
“Hi, hi!” You cheer casually when you come up next to them. 
All right members look absolutely starstruck. Jeongin’s eyes look like they might bug out of his head. 
They all bow politely when you join the group. 
Chan’s bow is a second later than everyone else’s. He’s too busy staring in absolute disbelief. 
“Y/N! It’s so nice to see you!” the interviewer says. You think you recognize her from another event. 
“You as well,” you respond with a beautiful smile.
“Let’s get you a mic— oh, we have no more— maybe someone— can share?”
Chan is the member closest to you, he immediately angles the mic your way. He does it so fast and eagerly it almost hits right into you. 
You giggle and thank him, “Thank you! It’s good to see you too,” you repeat and step a bit closer to him to make sharing easier. 
He smells so good. You can feel his body heat radiating onto your bare shoulders. Thankfully, the outdoor chill isn't affecting you much due to your adrenaline being so high. 
“Y/N, before I ask anything else, I do need to ask who you’re wearing.”
“Oh, a Christian Siriano original with accessories by Gucci and shoes by Prada.”
“Absolutely stunning,” the interviewer compliments. 
A light giggle comes from your chest and you go to thank her. It’s under his breath but you hear Chan say something along the lines of ‘that’s an understatement.’
“I did call you over here for a specific reason, besides the fact that we would love to interview a nominee for Best Actress. It seems you have eight fans all eager to meet you!”
You turn and look over at the members with wide eyes. “Oh my god!” You say out loud and your hand flies to your chest. “I am literally honored!”
“You know Stray Kids?” The interviewer asks. 
Well, if they already said they were fans… 
You lean down into the mic and laugh, “I have been a Stay for so long, are you kidding?”
Every single one of them don shocked expressions. Chan goes stiff as a board. 
You look at each of them with one of the most gorgeous smiles across your face. “When I was called over here with you guys I thought I was going to pass out. I had your discography playing in the room while my stylists got me ready.”
All eight of them move around like little kids meeting their idols for the first time. They each stare at you with literal stars in their eyes. 
“The first album that caught my attention was In Life, actually. Haven is my favorite song.”
You rain compliment after compliment down on them.
“It’s truly an honor to meet you, we’re all such huge fans.” Felix is the one that breaks the silence into the mic. The rest of them all nod eagerly. 
“Since we’re all fans of Kings and Pirates,” the interviewer brings your attention back. “Do you think you could give us a small spoiler for the new season coming out?”
“Ah,” you laugh and look around a bit, sucking your teeth in thought. “I reaaally shouldn’t, but…” You look to the side to make eye contact with all the members but Chan’s piercing gaze is the one that stole your breath away. 
His stylist had done his hair in such a natural, curly way. Every single strand is sitting perfectly on his head. The makeup on his face highlights his features angelically. 
Especially that beautiful nose of his. 
Each of them wore black tie suits with a bit of personal flair on them. Chan’s entire suit, including the undershirt and tie, was black. 
It takes a moment for your brain to reboot, not that anyone noticed. To them, it just looked like you were thinking of a small spoiler to give away. 
“I think that fans can look forward to seeing an old face that we previously had to say goodbye to.”
Jeongin eagerly grabs Han’s arm and says something in his ear. The two of them start whispering about what the spoiler could possibly mean. 
The rest of them all move around anxiously. Except Chan. He continues to stare at you with his lips parted slightly. 
You hold his eye contact for one more moment before looking back at the interviewer with a sinfully sweet smile. 
“Wow!” She says over-dramatically on purpose, “I think us fans have a lot to look forward to. Best of luck to all of you with your nominations tonight!”
“Thank you so much!” You chirp into the mic and stand there with a smile while she does her required sign off to go back to the main camera back in LA. 
During those few moments, you feel Chan shift his weight so that his entire arm brushes against yours. Goosebumps immediately fly up your shoulder and through your neck. 
It takes every muscle in your body not to react to it.
He’s still holding the mic between the two of you just in case you need to speak again. You want to turn your head and look at him so badly. 
You want to talk to him in the worst way; ask him questions about the music, even just how his day is, anything. 
The cameras cut and you instantly let out a sigh of relief, next to you, you see the eight of them deflate a bit too. 
The interviewer says her thanks and the crew takes the mics back from everyone. 
“It really was a pleasure meeting you guys,” you say with your hand on your heart again. “Words cannot describe how honored I am to be talking to you all.”
“Are you kidding?” Chan jokes. “We all feel the same way. I don’t think we even thought we would be able to stand near you tonight.”
You laugh and see your agent signaling you out of the corner of your eye. 
“Bah! I’m just a girl, really! Best of luck to you guys tonight, I’ll be cheering extra loud from the crowd when you win!”
“The same goes for us,” Chan smiles. He sticks his hand out and you immediately grab it. 
Electricity shoots up your arm and you have to bite your cheek to keep yourself from screaming. 
Your hands shake and you say your goodbyes to each of the members before walking away to your next interview. 
As soon as they think you’re out of earshot, they all begin talking rapidly to one another about you. 
“Can you believe it?”
“She’s a Stay!”
“Oh my god, I think I blacked out, did that really happen?”
“You lucky bastard, you got to shake her hand and share your mic with her.”
“Stop acting like a middle schooler.”
Their voices fade into the background the further you get from them. You just can’t help but smile and look down at the floor sheepishly. 
---------------------------------------
“I’ll find you after the awards show, okay, hon?” Your agent catches your attention as you walk into the auditorium. 
She grabs both of your forearms lightly and kisses your cheek. “Best of luck to you, don’t make yourself look stupid on stage.”
That last part is whispered into your ear and it makes you laugh. “I won’t! I won’t!”
She says her goodbyes once more and you look up at the usher waiting for you. 
This award show has its nominees all sitting around large dinner tables. There’s about ten people per table. 
For your show, you were the only one nominated for an award tonight, so not even your director or crew was here to sit with you. 
The usher held out his arm for you to take and you did so with a gracious smile. There’s a reason you’re known for charming everyone you meet. 
He leads you through the vast room. Several fellow actors call your name and greet you, and you respond to each one happily. 
“Here we are, Miss Y/N.”
No way. Absolutely no way. 
Seated around the entire table are the eight members you saw mere minutes ago, their manager taking the ninth seat. 
Sure enough, your name is printed on a sign draped over the back of the chair. 
Minho looks up at you first and waves sheepishly. You immediately wave back.
If Lee Minho waves, you wave back. 
“Hi again!” You greet them all before turning up and gently laying a hand on the usher’s bicep to thank him. He bows his head once and walks off. 
Chan, who was seated next to your empty chair, practically springs out of his seat and stands next to you. 
“I can’t believe this,” you tell him with a wide smile. He mirrors it and holds his hand out to the chair. 
You laugh while he grabs the back of it and pulls it out from the table. 
It takes a little bit of special maneuvering, but you manage to fold your poofy skirt down in order to sit down. Chan pushes your chair back in and takes his seat next to you. 
He now sits on your left, Seungmin on your right. 
“I guess I would’ve met you guys tonight regardless, then!” 
“It seems that way,” Chan answers. He reaches up and rubs the side of his neck with his hand. 
Now, from years of being a fan, you know that’s a nervous tick of his. And with your friendly nature, all you want to do is soothe him. 
“It’s like I’m getting a deluxe, VIP fan meeting. When Stay watches the award ceremony they’re all going to put a bounty on my head.” 
They all laugh and you turn to look at Seungmin, “Can I have an autograph before I die? I didn’t bring any of my albums with me, though.”
He laughs at your joke and your heart smiles with his beautiful grin. 
“I knew I should’ve brought a photocard with me.”
Behind you, Chan shifts around. “You bought our albums?”
You turn back to him, “Of course I did. I wanted to support you guys. Best way to do that is streaming your music and buying the albums, right?”
“Yeah,” he answers nervously, his bottom lip pulling between his teeth. “Yeah, you’re right. Just didn’t think I’d ever meet a celebrity I admired and find out they’re a Stay.”
You giggle and lean forward on the table. “I hope that’s not weird. I think I would’ve exploded if I didn’t tell you guys how big of a fan I was.”
“Not weird at all, just unexpected.”
“I guess I feel the same way, especially after hearing that you guys watch the show.”
“We love the show!” Han tells you from across the table. “Sometimes Minho will cut dance rehearsals early for us to go back and watch it.”
“Seriously?” you ask. “Wow, that really means a lot, you have no idea.”
“It’s easy to be a fan of yours,” Chan grabs your attention. “You’re one of the kindest people we’ve met in a while.”
Oh, you are practically kicking your feet around. 
“Fame is a whole other universe to tackle. I wanted to make sure I treat my fans and everyone around me the way I wanted to be treated before all this happened to me. It’s important not to lose yourself. But I know you guys all know that already. You’re masters at it.”
“Hyunjin still lets it get to his head.” Felix jokes. 
“What!”
The pre-show continues like this as the rest of the celebrities file in. Many stop by your chair and say hello to you.
With each one, you get up out of your seat, hug and kiss them hello, then sit back down only to be interrupted again. 
“You certainly are popular,” Chan comments after you say goodbye to a fellow actor. “That last guy crossed the room to come say hi to you.”
With a giggle, you joke, “Is someone jealous?”
He stiffens for a moment, his back going straight and he clenches his fists on the tabletop for a moment. “No.”
His answer is not firm at all. 
Before you’re able to analyze it, producers come out among the audience to tell everyone the cameras are about to begin rolling. 
“When is your award in the lineup?” You whisper over to Seungmin. 
“Right before yours, actually.”
“Maybe I’ll see you all backstage then.”
You both smile at each other and shift back in your chairs. 
Several cameramen come out into the audience with their large sets of equipment. One of them is very obviously hovering by you. 
You know he’ll signal you if you’re being shown. The teleprompters strategically placed along the venue also show what is being broadcasted. 
Opening music begins playing and the lights dim among the audience. The centerpieces on the tables give off an evening glow. 
A waiter comes over and places your drink on the table. You actually had forgotten you requested one before sitting down. 
You thank him and he takes his leave. 
“What’s that?” Chan whispers in your ear. 
“Espresso martini,” you answer. “Wanna try?”
Chan looks over at his manager, who is busy watching the host make his opening speech. He nods quickly and leans down, taking a long sip off the top. 
A tiny ‘mmm’ comes from the back of his throat and he looks at you while licking his lips a bit. 
“Oh that’s delicious.”
“And dangerous.”
You lift the glass and take a long sip from it and place it back down on the table. 
“I got my first major role fresh out of college. I’m still learning how to not rely on alcohol to have fun.”
Chan just laughs and both of you direct your attention to the host on stage. 
“-and if all else fails, we have our lovely knight in shining armor to protect us, tonight.”
The camera man turns and has the camera on your face. You smile brightly and blow a kiss into the camera. The entire audience lets out several positive reactions. 
When the camera cuts away, you let out a sigh of relief. “I knew they were gonna do that.”
You take another large swig of your drink. It’s almost empty already. Curse these fancy people and their tiny portions. 
Chan leans over and suddenly his hot breath is on your skin. Goosebumps rip down your body and you can’t suppress a shiver. 
“Careful,” he whispers lowly. “I don’t think you want to be stumbling onto the stage.”
“I think you underestimate my alcohol tolerance, Mr. Bang.”
You both make eye contact.
The audience applauds as the host leaves the stage and the first announcer comes on. Both of you clap and Chan leans away from you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see his tongue dart out to wet his bottom lip before he pulls it between his teeth.
His cologne lingers around your senses even after he’s gone. 
Dammit, he’s right. But, my god, you need another stiff drink.
---------------------------------------
“And here are the nominees…” The announcer says into the mic. The entire table is holding their breath. 
This was it, this was Stray Kids’ award. Your jaw clenches with anticipation as the names are read off one by one. Individually, you crack each of your knuckles anxiously.
All eight of the members are staring up at the screen, each of them have their own nervous ticks. 
You reach under the table to try and comfort Chan a bit, your hand landing on his knee. He jumps in place at the table at the contact.
Without looking at each other, he places his hand on top of your and squeezes a bit.
“It’s going to suck when I have to sit here by myself after you guys win.” you whisper to him.
“If we win.”
“You’re going to win.” You squeeze his knee again.
“And the winner is…” 
You suck in a breath, all of them stiffen up. Cameras are pointed at each of the nominees tables. 
“Stray Kids!”
Immediately, you spring out of your seat with a gleeful cheer. Clapping your hands together and smiling at each of them. 
Without a second thought, Chan wraps you into a grand hug, pure joy written across his face. Your face morphs into a shocked one, but you hug him back happily.
He’s so warm. His hug is so tight.
After a few heartbeats, he tears himself off of you with an unreadable expression. All eight of them walk up to the stage and grab the award from the presenter.
Sitting back down, you take a second to catch your breath. 
So badly, you want to focus on their acceptance speech, but all you can think about was the way Chan held you. It went straight to your heart, and thanks to the alcohol in your veins, it traveled a bit south as well. 
Nervously, your hand comes up and rubs at your chest by your collarbones, a small nervous tick of yours.
The table feels so empty without the eight of them there. Their manager is the only one left sitting there with you. He’s watching their speech intently.
Both of you stand and clap once more as they walk off the stage. All of them pushing each other gleefully and playing slap ass. It makes you giggle.
All of the lights around the room shift again and another announcer comes into the stage. The same camera man as before comes around the side of the table to stand closer to you.
The announcer goes through their speech about how important actresses are, how each of you stood out, how it was an honorable nomination. Your heart is in your throat, you can feel each thud against your ribcage so closely. 
No one was next to you to hold your knee. 
“And the nominees are…”
Various clips of the other nominees in their element flash behind their names.
Your name is third. Several different dramatic scenes play out within the five second window. They chose some of your best scenes for that little animation. The next few nominees flash after that.
“And the winner is…”
You suck in your breath.
“Y/N L/N! King and Pirates!”
The entire audience erupts in cheers. Practically everyone stands up on their feet.
You bury your face in your hands in disbelief. 
“Oh my god!” you practically yell as you stand up. 
An actor from the next table places his hand on your back to help you out of your chair. You smile gratefully at him and make your way up to the stage. 
During the entire walk, several different people offer you their congratulations, you thank each of them, shaking their hands. 
Climbing your way onto the stage, you make your way over to the announcer, kissing their cheeks as a thank you and turning to speak into the mic.
“Oh wow,” you laugh into the mic, looking down at the award and then back up at the audience. “I know everyone says this, but I really did not expect this! I mean, have you seen any of the other shows?”
A gentle laugh comes from the crowd. 
The rest of your acceptance speech is short, sweet, and to the point. The timer on one of the teleprompters definitely motivated you to speak quickly. 
As you walk away with your award, music plays behind you. A stage manager comes up to you and ushers you through the wings.
Several more congratulations come your way, you respond to each of them humbly.
You turn a corner and are met with a cheer even louder than the one from the auditorium full of people. 
All eight members of Stray Kids are clapping for you, jumping up and down in excitement. Your enthusiasm immediately matches theirs as you come up to them.
“I can’t believe it!” you say loudly, holding the award out to look at. “I think I’m dreaming!”
You turn and look up at Hyunjin, “Pinch me, I have to be asleep!”
He laughs at you and lightly grabs your arm. You yip dramatically and look back down at the trophy. “Nope, definitely awake!”
“If you guys would please find your seats, we need to clear this hallway.” a stagehand ushers your group away. He turns and looks down at you with a soft smile, “They wouldn’t leave until you came back.”
“Aww,” you coo to all of them. Your arm wraps around Jeongin’s, who happens to be the closest at the moment. “You guys are too sweet!” 
Your head rests on his arm and you hug it close as a thank you. He pats your hand and bends his arm to escort you back to your table.
A pair of deep brown eyes burn into the side of your head the more you grab onto Jeongin. Not that you noticed. 
Walking through the hallways, you see one back hall that has signs for the bathroom.
“Actually, I’m going to run to the ladies’ room before going back to the table. I’ll meet you guys back there. Do you mind taking this back to the table for me?”
You drop Jeongin’s arm and hold the trophy out to him. The maknae is hesitant, but takes your award anyway. You laugh at him and rub his arm before you head back to the bathroom.
“Am I allowed to be holding this?” he asks as you walk away.
The venue was a grand, old hotel, you follow so many twists and turns to get to the bathroom. Was there even one back here?
Did you take a wrong turn? There aren’t even workers back here. 
You definitely aren’t supposed to be back here. Turning back and finding another bathroom is probably the best option at this point. 
A gentle grasp on your wrist makes your heart jump and a gasp tear from your throat. Frightened, you turn around and raise your hand to hit whoever snuck up on you. 
“Y/N! It’s just me!” Chan says quickly, cowering behind his hand just in case you still swing. 
“Ugh, Chan! You scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry, I called your name a few times, I guess you didn’t hear me.” You shake your head, he sucks his teeth. “That explains it. Staff told me there’s no bathroom down here, I wanted to grab you before you got too lost.”
Chan chuckles nervously, you laugh too. “That explains it. I guess those signs must’ve been extras that they printed for the venue. Who knows?”
It’s now that you notice he’s still holding your wrist tightly in his hand. His hand is so warm, so soft. 
He nervously licks his lips and his eyes look all around the hall, anywhere but at you. His throat bobs with a gulp. 
“I don’t ah— I don’t believe I gave you a proper congratulations. So, congratulations on the award. You deserve it.”
“Oh!” You giggle. “Thank you! And a hearty congratulations to you as well, I can’t think of anyone who’s worked harder than you guys.”
Taking another step closer to him, you turn your wrist around and take a hold of his hand.
“I also can’t think of any other celebrities I would want to celebrate with.” The corners of your lips pull into a grin, Chan’s twitch as well. “You guys are so sweet, cheering for me. Made the win that much better.”
Slowly, his ears begin to turn red and his jaw clenches a few times. His chocolate brown eyes flit all over your face and around the hall. His nerves on clear display. 
“Yeah, well, you deserve it, so.” Chan clears his throat and adjusts the tie around his neck. “I can’t take credit for it, it was Changbin’s idea to wait for you and all.” 
You reach up on your toes and press a long, soft kiss to his cheek. With his lips right by your ear, you’re able to hear him gasp under his breath and then stop breathing. 
Underneath your lips, you feel how much heat is radiating off his smooth skin. It’s like you kissed a frying pan. 
“Thank you, Channie,” you whisper against his skin. 
The hand around yours twitches and tightens. 
You press another kiss to his cheek before going to back away. 
Quicker than you can blink, Chan’s free hand comes around your body and holds you against him. His hand curls around you to press into the small of your back. 
Your head tucks under his chin, ear against the dip of his throat. His heart is beating just as fast as yours. 
“Not yet,” he whispers so quietly you almost didn’t hear it. “Please, not yet.”
Your heart thuds in your chest at his words. How could you not? The Bang Chan is asking you to stay closer to him for just a little while longer. The same man you’ve admired from a distance for years. 
The man who created such a deep parasocial relationship with you that it took a lot of self reflection to bring yourself out of it. And now, here you were, in his arms in real life, tucked away in the hallway of this hotel. 
Smelling his expensive cologne and aftershave, listening to his shallow breathing, the entire world seems to stop. If your past self could see this, she’d probably pass out. 
Hell, you might pass out now. 
You squeeze his hand once and he responds with a grip of his own. 
Slowly, you pull your head back to gaze up at him. He stares down at you with the most thoughtful expression. 
Eyes are windows to the soul; and right now, his soul is so flustered and fulfilled at the same time. 
“I can’t believe tonight is real,” you murmur. 
Several times, you catch Chan’s eyes flicking down to your lips. Each stolen glance adds another butterfly to your stomach. 
His hand on your back pulls you even closer. 
“You keep talking as if you’re not one of the biggest names in the world right now.” he teases and you chuckle softly. “If anyone should be pinching themself, it’s me.”
His breath is cool and minty. Yours is tinged with espresso. 
Your tongue comes out and licks your bottom lip before you pull it between your teeth. Chan watches, trying not to make it obvious. 
“Can I try something?” Your question is deathly quiet. If it wasn’t for the silence of the hallway, there’s no way he would have heard it otherwise. 
“Yes,” he replies immediately. It comes out as a huff; quick, short, and desperate. 
“Close your eyes, Chan.”
He listens right away, his eyes snapping shut. 
You hesitate for a split second, just taking in his ethereal beauty. Every curve of his gorgeous, blemish free face. It’s not fair.
Both of his hands twitch, his jaw clenches. 
You lean up slowly and press a featherlight kiss on his plush lips. 
His shoulders seem to sag inwards, a large, relieved exhale leaves his nose. 
Fireworks explode behind your eyes, tingles shoot down into your fingertips. 
You pull back after a second, his eyes open a bit and Chan stares down at you, his lips parting for a moment. 
He stares intently into your eyes, as if trying to read you or see something within them. 
Without breaking eye contact, he leans down and kisses you again. You melt into the kiss with half lidded eyes, they unfocus as you fall further into his kiss. 
Chan pulls back for a moment to turn his head and capture your lips once more, his bottom lip slotting between yours. 
Both of your eyes shut. 
Your hands move and you wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his head closer to yours as he kisses you like his life depends on it. 
Chan holds your waist with both hands, the heat from his hold going right through your dress. 
Each kiss is hot and heavier than the last. His grips at your dress grow needier and needier by the second, he can’t hold you close enough to his body.
Within moments, you’re both opening and closing your mouths, with open mouthed, wet, sloppy kisses. His eyebrows pull together.
Erotic pants fill the empty hallway.
You ever so gently bite down on his bottom lip and pull your head back. 
Chan sighs and his half lidded, hazy eyes look down into yours as his lip snaps back after you release it. 
He takes two long steps and walks you backwards until your back hits the wall. 
“Tell me to stop,” he murmurs against your lips before capturing them in another heated kiss. “You’ll have to tell me. I can’t do it myself. Not when I’ve wanted you for so long.”
Your fingers thread up through his hair on the back of his head and you pull him closer against you. 
Tangled tongues and gentle grunts mix together. 
“What if I don’t want you to stop?” you ask lowly in between kisses. 
Chan groans and presses his entire body into yours. 
You felt like you’re on fire with the way you’re so feverishly pulling him closer. 
One his hands moves up and down your waist. The puffiness of your skirt getting in the way of his hips grinding directly into yours. 
“So beautiful,” he mutters between kisses. “So gorgeous.” Kiss. “Wanted you for so long.”
It’s your turn to moan at his praise, you suck on his tongue and his eyes roll back in his skull. 
When you pull away from each other panting, you look around in the hallway. There’s a door right next to you both, where it leads, you’re not sure. 
Chan kisses your cheek and then makes his way down your neck with his lips. 
“Chan,” you moan out. 
“Yeah, baby?”
Fuck. That goes right to your head and makes your stomach flip. 
He presses another wet kiss to your exposed collarbone and your head tilts back, knocking against the wall. He’s making it impossible to try and get any words out.
The hand on your ribcage squeezes when you let out a breathy exhale. 
“Did you need something?” he mouths against your neck and bites down right after. 
Oh, that cocky motherfucker. 
“Fuck, Chan…!” You pull at his hair. 
He brings his head up with a dopey look on his face, eyes half lidded and hazy. 
“Hm?” he hums and leans in, pressing another kiss to your check. 
One of your hands comes down and runs over his chest. You grab a hold of his tie and twist it around your hand before yanking on it. Your lips are right next to his ear and you make sure to let out hot exhales.
Chan gasps and presses a hand on the wall next to your head to keep his balance. A shiver wracks his body.
“You’re starting something you can’t finish.” The low, gravel timbre of your voice shocks even you for a moment. It’s raspy and sexy. It has an effect it has on Chan immediately. His pupils dilate and he takes a sharp intake of air.
“Oh, princess,” Chan bites your earlobe before blowing against it lightly. “I’ve never started something I didn’t intend on finishing.”
God, his voice. It’s like running your fingers over velvet. You yank his tie to the side and drag him towards the room like he’s on a leash.
Chan lets out a surprised grunt, but follows you nonetheless. Just like your little puppy begging you for your attention.
The entire walk over to the door, his hands are on your body. Anywhere Chan can reach, he’s touching you. 
When you push open the door, you’re happily surprised to find an empty dressing room. All the lights are off– perfect.
Once you both are inside, the door shuts and you push Chan against the back of it. Your lips desperately smashing together.
He’s everywhere on your body. His hands don’t stay in the same place for more than two seconds before he’s groping somewhere else. 
Blindly, he reaches for the door handle and clicks the lock in place. 
Your fist is still tightly curled around his tie, you wind it around your hand a few more times while your tongues tango. Sinfully wet noises emanate from your locked lips. Your other hand runs down his chest to unbutton his blazer.
Chan pushes off the wall and shucks the blazer off his shoulders, dropping it onto the ground. 
Never once do his lips leave yours. He’s intoxicating, you can’t get enough and neither can he.
He backs you up again until your ass hits a counter.
In one smooth movement, Chan reaches down and grabs your waist and lifts you onto the countertop. Your legs part and he stands in between them.
“This fucking dress,” he growls against your lips and nips your bottom one lightly. Desperately, he begins grabbing at the fabric, bunching it up around your hips. Underneath, you’re still clothed in stockings, corsets, spandex shorts, and many more.
He doesn’t seem to care. With both hands now grabbing your nylon-clad thighs, he brings both of your legs to wrap around his waist.
As soon as both of your hips meet, moans leave both of your mouths and you swallow each other’s. He’s hard as a fucking rock against you. So many layers of clothing separate the two of you from one another, it’s endlessly frustrating.
You pull his tie even tighter and one of his hands comes down to grip the edge of the counter for balance. 
Your hips roll against his once and he has to tighten his grip so much his knuckles turn white. 
“Do it again,” he whines against your mouth.
Who are you to say no? 
Again, you roll your hips up into his. This time, his hard cock rubs right against your clothed clit. It’s just enough to send a ripple down your legs and into your toes and they curl in your Prada heels.
You don’t stop in between hip rolls this time, you do it again and again and again. Each one feels better than the next.
It’s like your head goes underwater, deep within the riptide of the oceans of pleasure. 
And by the noises that are coming out of Chan’s mouth, you know he feels the same way. 
His hips begin to meet your thrusts with his own. Both of you are grinding into each other like teenagers in your parents’ basement. 
But you both are so needy at this moment that you’ll take anything you can get to scratch that insatiable itch. 
With each thrust, his exhales get heavier and heavier, whimpers and whines come out in between them. 
Your head kicks back against the mirror behind you after one particularly delicious roll. There’s no way you’re even on planet Earth right now with how much he’s making your body thrum.
“Fuck, babygirl,” he moans out and kisses your bare shoulder. 
You pull on his tie absentmindedly while you cry out when he thrusts even harder. 
“Wanna hear those moans with you on my cock,” he hisses when your legs tighten around his waist. “If I’m making you feel this good without touching you, think of how loud you’ll scream when I can finally fuck you into my mattress.”
“Chan-!” you whimper, your eyes squint closed, mouth falling open.
How is he so fucking good at this? Those dancer hips are merciless. It sends just the right amount of pleasure through your body.
“You know that Vogue photoshoot you did last month?” he moans into your ear, his lips right next to it. 
Your Vogue photoshoot was a borderline boudoir shoot. Only a black sheet covered you in most of your shots.
All you’re able to do is whine out an “uh-huh”.
“Babygirl, I can’t even think about that shoot without my cock getting hard. God, fu–huck! Shit.”
He’s going to make you cum just by grinding on you. You can feel it coming closer and closer. 
One of his hands travels up your body to grab at the side of your neck, his thumb caressing your jawline while he licks and nips at the other side. 
“Want you to pose like that for me. I want you all to myself.” He sounds like he would eat you whole if he could. And fuck, you would let him.
He could tell you to get on your knees and bark right now and you would.
“Close, Chan…” you whimper.
Just hearing that he’s going to make you cum makes his eyes roll in his skull. Every single wet dream of his is coming true under his own two hands. He has Y/N L/N’s legs wrapped around his waist, his cock pressed against her clothed cunt, her skin in his mouth.
Is this what winning felt like?
“You gonna cum for me babygirl?” he hisses and bites your neck.
“Yes! Shit! Don’t stop, please!”
When you try to meet his thrusts, your hips stutter, they’re unable to keep up with how fast he begins moving.
“Need you to cum, babygirl, need it so bad. Need it like I need oxygen.” Chan’s hand moves and he pulls your lips together.
He’s all consuming.
Three more thrusts and your body seizes, your orgasm gripping you so tightly that you think you might black out. 
You break free from his kiss to throw your head back. It thuds against the mirror. Your legs tighten around him so much he can barely move.
Chan rolls his hips a few more times, letting you ride out your mind-blowing orgasm. Each one is slower and more sensual than the last.
After a few seconds, your legs loosen up a bit around him. Chan trails softer kisses down your neck, over both of your collarbones, then back up to your cheeks.
They’re gentle and sweet. So different from the way he was absolutely devouring you mere moments ago.
“Chan,” you pant out. “Let me help you.”
“Soon, baby. Not here.”
He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a gold card– a hotel roomkey. 
Chan leans forward and presses a long kiss to your swollen lips. While he’s attached to you, he slips the roomkey into the top of your dress where your breasts sat.
“The Mark, room 103. Fuck The Plaza, you have your own afterparty to attend to.”
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littlemisshyperfixation · 4 months ago
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Yoongi Fic Recommendations Part 2
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a - angst f - fluff s - smut
part 1
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Series
Miss Dial (s) by @versigny ⊹₊⋆ [11:31] You: okay so i’m texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting yoongi and telling him how badly i want his cock tonight. Arent you proud?
[11:32] unknown number: this is yoongi, hi 
Please Be Naked (a f s) (ft. namjoon) by @floralseokjin ⊹₊⋆ Recently heartbroken, it feels like you’ll never be able to get over it. But a chance encounter with a guy you haven’t seen in months changes everything…  
One Shots
want a taste? (f s) by @suga-kookiemonster ⊹₊⋆ pretzel pro. most skillful tongue in the food court world. allegedly. that’s what yoongi keeps telling you, anyway. of course, you’re reasonably skeptical of his claims—but if there’s one thing that motivates the notoriously-lethargic man, it’s proving skeptics wrong.
take care of you (f s) by @kookslastbutton ⊹₊⋆ To keep your fiance from burning out you suggest a weekend getaway to Gapyeong, a charming town about an hour outside Seoul. You've specifically asked him to leave his work equipment at home but like a deep rooted habit, he still brings it with him. You're left with no choice but to find a way to get his attention back.
You Broke Me (f) by @7ndipity ⊹₊⋆ Just clingy, fluffy Yoongi after Reader comes home after a month-long trip
Shy (s) by @7ndipity ⊹₊⋆ You’re desperately craving your boyfriend's attention, but are too shy to ask for it outright. Luckily, Yoongi knows what you want anyway.
Sweet Spot (s f) by @cultleaderyoongi ⊹₊⋆ Three months into dating, Yoongi ponders what the perfect scenario for a love confession would be. There's no manual stating when and where and how is appropriate. It's only convenient when his body reacts faster than his brain, doing the job for him.
Eargasm (s) by @lavishedinjimin ⊹₊⋆ The idea of having your first ever orgasm by talking to a hot, random stranger through your phone scares the living hell out of you, but maybe it won’t be as bad as you think.
F*ck Christmas (a f s) by @sailoryooons ⊹₊⋆ Making hating Christmas your entire personality was never the plan. Then again, it seems bad things only ever happen around Christmas - like discovering your fiancé cheating on you, forcing you to move back to your sleepy hometown. But Min Yoongi happens to love Christmas, and if there is one thing your very stubborn childhood crush is going to do, it’s try to reignite your Christmas spirit. Even if he has to force-feed it to you with gingerbread cookies and too-sweet eggnog.
Workaholic (s) by @hobiwonder ⊹₊⋆ Yoongi needs to relax and Hoseok has many tricks up his sleeve to make him. None of them Yoongi thought included hiring a hooker to pay him a visit one stormy night. You were only trying to escape a crazed man chasing you down on a stormy night. Never was your intention to end up in an attractive man’s house. Definitely not one who thought you were a hooker. 
Backtrack (s) (ft. jimin) by @mapofthesea ⊹₊⋆ There’s no telling just how long you'd been stuck in the windowless studio, and you’re just about ready to walk out and forfeit your paycheck for the week, until your bosses strike up an interesting bargain.
the pink pill (s) by @dollfaceksj ⊹₊⋆ In each of these universes, you find yourself consuming what is known as the pink pill. This pill is essentially a drug that enhances your libido to the max and you’ll quite literally never experience arousal like you do when you’ve taken this pill. Thankfully, in each universe, there’s a man that’s ready to help you explore and reach your peak of sexual euphoria.
all night (s) (ft. namjoon) by @axigailxo ⊹₊⋆ in which listening to music during a smoke sesh with your best friends namjoon and yoongi in the studio turns into much more
damn the charcuterie board. (s) (ft. jimin) by @bratkook
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daisynik7 · 11 months ago
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Double the Fun
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Pairing: Eren Jaeger x f!reader x Reiner Braun
Rating: Explicit – MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Word Count: ~3.9k
cw: next-door neighbors Eren and Reiner, modern day au, all characters are mid-twenties, explicit language, p*rn no plot, smut – threesome, vaginal sex, anal sex, anal play, spit play, nipple play, cunnilingus, face-riding, blowjob, hand job (M/M), double-penetration, multiple orgasms from the reader, sex toy use (anal plug), cream pies (in both holes), Reiner is a bit of a perv and sniffs panties (just like how he sniffed Historia’s letter in the finale LOL), pet names (baby, sweetheart, sweetie), slight degradation (use of slut, cock slut, whore, and cock sleeve to address the reader), slight breeding kink, sex without a condom (assuming reader is on some form of birth control)
Summary: You’ve been having a bit of a dry spell recently with how busy you’ve been at work. When you finally manage to snag a date with one of your online dating matches, you’re unfortunately stood up, leaving you in a worse mood than before. Lucky for you, your two hot neighbors are more than willing to cheer you up.  
Author’s Notes: Phew! This one is a doozy! Please make sure you read the content warnings before reading. This is filthy and shameless; I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I LOVE Eren and Reiner together, idk, they just always scratch this everlasting itch I have. I’m still getting used to writing threesomes, so I hope this is okay! Also, this is my first foray into butt stuff and I may have awoken something inside me, LOL. MDNI divider by the loveliest @/cafekitsune. Thank you for reading! 
Taglist: @batafuraikisu @neverlandlostchild @bloompompom @dprkento @a-listaire @man-knees @slvt-for-smut @antique-remains @aiyaaayei
part 4 of to all the boys who live next door anthology series
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“Are you sure you don’t want me to sit, like, two tables away? What if this guy is sketch?” 
You can spot the obvious concern in Pieck’s voice through the speaker of your phone, which is currently face-up on top of your vanity as you get ready. You finish the last steps of your makeup, inspecting yourself in the mirror, satisfied. “Don’t worry, I’ve got pepper spray in my purse in case he tries anything funny,” you assure your best friend. It’s been a while since you last went on a proper date. Pieck’s always been a worry-wart about you meeting strangers from your online dating apps, constantly reminding you to stay vigilant. Tonight is no different. 
“You should at least let your hot neighbors know that you’re going out, so they can keep an eye out for you,” she suggests, throwing that in casually. Ever since you moved in a few months ago, she’s been rooting for you to hook up with either of the two men next door, Eren Jaeger and Reiner Braun. She’s met them plenty of times in passing and would much rather you date one of them instead of the countless of mysterious men on your current roster. 
There’s no denying that they’re attractive. Eren with his long, dark hair, striking eyes, and toned physique. Reiner with his sharp jawline, broad shoulders, and well-groomed goatee. They also happen to be incredibly friendly towards you, always greeting you in the hallway with a genuine smile, asking how your day went or what you’ll be up to. They’ve invited you for dinner on several occasions, which has always been pleasant, sometimes leaning towards the flirtatious side. You’re sure they’re just nice guys, cordial neighbors looking out for one another. There’s nothing more to it than that, even if a small part of you wants there to be. 
You step back from your reflection, checking yourself out once one more. “I’ll be fine, Pieck.”
“What if I can’t reach you? There should be at least one other person who’s aware of your whereabouts, right?” This is what binging too many true crime documentaries does. Still, you’re grateful for your friend’s concern, knowing it’s all out of love. You can tell she’s actually distressed about this, so you end up agreeing, mostly to appease her. She wishes you well before hanging up as you slip into heels by the door. 
You tug at the hem of your skimpy black dress, hand motionless on the doorknob. It’s your first date in over a month. Work has been so busy that you haven’t had time for romance or sex. The variety of sex toys tucked away in your drawer has been your only solace these past few weeks. To say you’re ready for some real action is an understatement. You’re also incredibly nervous, afraid you’ve lost your groove. That’s why you’ve taken extra measures to fully prepare yourself for anything tonight. 
With a deep breathe, you step out into the hallway, following Pieck’s advice. You knock on your neighbor’s door and Eren is the first to answer. His expression brightens when he realizes it’s you. “Hi,” he greets you, flashing that charming smile of his. He scans you up and down, taking in your appearance. “Wow.”
“Is that a good wow or a bad wow?” you grin, twirling for him. 
He swallows hard, checking you out once more. “Definitely a good wow.”
It’s that extra boost of confidence you need for this date, so you’re appreciative of him. “Thank you, Eren. You’re always so sweet.” 
He crosses his arms over his chest, smirking. “So, hot date tonight?”
You decide to be honest with him. “Yeah. It’s been a minute, so I’m a little nervous.”
“Don’t be. Any guy would be lucky to date you.” His eyes twinkle at you kindly.
You imagine Pieck screaming at you from twenty miles away, begging you to date Eren instead of going out with this random swipe right. Eren is simply a sweet guy paying his neighbor a compliment. There’s nothing more to it than that. Before you get the chance to thank him, Reiner’s deeper voice calls out from inside the apartment. “Who is it?”
Without taking his eyes off you, Eren answers with your name. Soon, the blonde joins him, jaw dropping when he notices you. “Fuck.”
Eren elbows him in the chest, to which Reiner mutters a strained apology. “Sorry. You just look amazing.”
The flattery is almost too much, cheeks warm with embarrassment, stomach fluttering. “Thank you.” Reiner is usually the more forward of the two, blurting out whatever is on his mind, though you’re not complaining. 
Grinning, Reiner asks, “So, who’s the lucky guy?”
“Someone I met online. My friend said I should let my wonderful neighbors know my whereabouts tonight, in case I end up missing,” you explain casually. 
“How morbid,” Eren chuckles. “We’ll keep an eye out for you later so that your friend doesn’t have to worry.”
“I would appreciate that.”
Reiner raises a brow at you. “Unless you’re planning on sleeping with him. We probably won’t see you if it does go well.” He hunches forward when Eren lands another blow to his chest, shutting his roommate up. 
You giggle, agreeing with him. “No, you’re totally right. I’m going to stay optimistic and say that if I don’t come home tonight, that’s a good thing.”
“We’ll hope for the best, then,” Eren replies, beaming. 
You turn to leave, waving farewell to them. Reiner yells out, “Have fun tonight! But not too much fun!”
~~~
You return to your apartment complex less than two hours later, heels clicking loudly on the tiled steps, feet heavy with disappointment. After taking a twenty-minute taxi ride to the restaurant you agreed to meet him at, you proceeded to wait an entire hour only to realize that you’ve been stood up. No text, no reply, no call. You’ve been made a fool, completely humiliated, the night and the rest of your weekend absolutely ruined by this asshole’s no-show.  
It takes you a while to dig through your purse for your keys, patience already worn thin. Frustrated, you groan out loud, staring up at the ceiling. “Why me?”
In the worst timing ever, the door to your left swings open. Eren pops his head out, saying your name curiously.
Reluctantly, you turn to face him. “Hey.”  
He comes out, dressed casually in sweats, hair wrapped in a messy bun with the few stray strands draping the back of his neck. “That was quick.”
With an unconvincing smile, trying to hide the shame that currently consumes you, you admit, “I got stood up.”
His demeanor changes instantly. The concern on his face is endearing, and when he drifts towards you, he reaches out, then drops his arm, unsure how best to console you without crossing any lines. “No way.”
You nod, sighing. “It’s true.”
“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” He steps closer to you, hesitantly placing his hand on your shoulder, testing the waters. 
You smile at him, enjoying this simple touch of comfort. “It’s fine. It is what it is.”
The two of you linger like this, Eren gazing into your eyes, holding you. His palm is hot on the fabric of your dress, and for a split second, you wonder how pleasant it’d be on your bare skin. And maybe it’s your wishful thinking or your desperation for human contact after being rejected tonight, but you can feel the heat of a spark between you now. Before you let your fantasies drive you to do something unprecedented, you search your bag again, finally retrieving your keys. He lets you go, watching you shove them into the keyhole, unlocking the door. “Are you okay?”
In all honestly, you’re not, but there’s nothing him or anyone else can do about it, right? “I’ll be okay. Sucks that I got all dressed up for this, though. What a waste.”
He doesn’t respond right away, choosing his words carefully. “Well,” he starts, the faintest blush tinged on his cheeks. “It doesn’t have to be.” 
You stare at him, heart beating faster, making sure you’re understanding him correctly. “Really?”
He clears his throat, licking his lips. “Yeah. Maybe we can get some use out of it.”
“We?”
As if on cue, Reiner emerges from inside their apartment, having heard everything. “Fuck that shitty asshole. You’ll have way more fun with us.” He stands next to his roommate, grinning at you.
This time, you do listen to Pieck’s voice in your head, yelling at you to go for it. To let these two alluring neighbors of yours take care of you the way you deserve. Already feeling better, you give them a coy smile, opening the door to let them in. “Okay, then. Come on in.”
~~~
It’s the first time they’ve ever been inside your apartment, though you save the formal tour for later. As soon as the three of you are inside, door shut, shoes off, they’re both kissing you fiercely. Eren faces you, slipping his tongue into your mouth, hot and heavy. He caresses your sides, squeezing the curves of your body through your dress. Reiner is behind you, grip just below Eren’s, firm on your hips. His lips brush delicately on the nape of your neck, groin pressed to your backside, the bulge protruding from his pants growing harder and harder between your ass cheeks. You moan into the kiss, pussy throbbing in your lingerie, eager to be touched by either man, by both of them. Why did you even bother trying to hook up with strangers online when the perfect matches were beside you all along?
Reiner chuckles, breath hot on your ear, voice low and rugged. “You’re really horny, aren’t you? All dolled up and ready to be fucked, huh?” There he goes again, blunt and straightforward and so fucking sexy, exactly what you need tonight. 
And here is Eren, soft and gentle, committed to kissing you, whispering sweet nothings any chance he gets. “You’re beautiful. Such a gorgeous girl. So pretty for us.” Also exactly what you need. 
You lead them into your bedroom, Eren flipping on the light switch, keeping his lips on you while Reiner strips out of his clothes, starting with his pants. Eren does the same, hoisting his shirt off, revealing his impressive figure. You attempt to slip out of your dress, but Reiner stops you. “Keep it on,” he rasps, down to his underwear now, boner more obvious, poking out from his briefs.  
Eren pinches your butt, snapping the tight fabric to your skin. “We’re not letting this go to waste, remember?”
You nod mindlessly, brain hazy with lust, too eager to be fucked. “Fuck me,” you beg, spit smeared all over your lips. 
They both laugh softly, walking you towards the bed. “So impatient, so needy,” Eren coos, positioning himself in front of you, toying with the hem of the skirt.
Reiner sits up against the headboard, propping you up on his lap, your back pressed to his muscular chest. “What’s the rush, baby?” he teases, licking a stripe behind your ear. “We’re going to take care of you. Right, Eren?”
Eren bites his lip as he works your dress up past your thighs until it’s bunched up at your hips, exposing your soaked thong on your wet cunt. “Oh fuck yeah,” he huffs, salivating. “Gonna make you feel so good. Make you come so fucking much.”
You spread your legs wider for him, a pathetic whine escaping your throat, more and more desperate by the second. He hooks his finger on the crotch of your panties, smirking at the string of arousal that stretches between the fabric and you. “So fucking wet, holy shit.” 
He tugs it all the way off your legs, tossing it over to Reiner, who brings it up to his nose, taking a big whiff. “Such a slut for wearing these on a first date. Our naughty girl.” He lets your lingerie fall from his grasp onto the floor, sliding to the plush of your thighs, keeping your legs spread apart. 
Eren dives in, spreading his wide tongue flat on your clit, moving it side-to-side, stimulating you into your first orgasm. Your knees twitch from the sensation, the pleasure rippling through you like waves of ecstasy. You turn your head towards Reiner’s, opening your mouth, pleading him for a kiss. He obliges, sticking his tongue inside you, slurping up your saliva, hungry for it. “You’re so fucking nasty,” he growls, reaching for the drawer beside the bed. “Bet you have toys hiding in here. Why don’t we have some more fun and play with them?” You whimper wantonly, keen on the idea of Reiner using whatever he wants on you to make you come again. 
He finds exactly what he’s looking for: your precious anal plug, tapered on one end, heart-shaped gem on the other. When he pulls it out, he barks out a laugh, almost like he can’t believe his luck. “You really are a whore,” he whispers in your ear, sinister and wicked, about to have too much fun with this. “Did you prep yourself to be fucked in the ass? Be honest.” Even Eren pauses, peering up at you, curious. 
“Yes,” you mewl, squirming with arousal, body tingling all over.
Eren’s chuckle reverberates against your clit, releasing you from his mouth to lap at your wet slit. “Good girl,” he muffles, collecting your cum on his tongue. “So perfect for us.”
The dynamic between them spurs you on, Eren playing the good guy, Reiner playing bad. Both of them work together with a common goal in mind: to cheer up their pretty neighbor from what would have been a bummer of a night. But already, you’re thankful that you were stood up; you’re certain now that this is the much better alternative. 
“Eren, switch spots with me,” Reiner demands. “And you,” he says, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “On your stomach.”
You both obey him without protest. Eren leans against the headboard with a dazed look in his eyes, licking his shiny, cum-coated lips. He smiles as you gaze up at him, wrapping your fingers around his shaft, stroking him. You open wide, tapping the tip of his dick on your tongue before sinking down on him until you’re too the hilt, swallowing him into the back of your throat. He cups yours cheeks, caressing you gently. “So fucking pretty with my cock in your mouth. My gorgeous girl.” You accept the praise shamelessly, relishing the distinct taste of him.
From behind, Reiner worships you, squeezing your ass cheeks, spreading them apart to ogle at your fluttering hole. Without warning, he hocks a frothy wad of spit directly onto it, teasing his thumb on the rim. “Fuck, baby,” he utters as you moan on Eren’s cock. “I’m gonna put it in now, okay?”
You nod, taking Eren deeper, your nose pressed to his groin, drool leaking from the sides of your mouth, bracing yourself. The plug is slick with lube as Reiner pushes it in carefully until the heart-shaped jewel is flush to your hole. He swears under his breath, marveling at the sight before him, cock pulsating in his fist. You stay like this for a while, adjusting to the toy inside you. It really did help that you prepared for this earlier. 
“So sexy,” Eren murmurs from above you, staring on your backside. “You take it so good, sweetheart.”
“Like an obedient slut,” Reiner adds, using his thumb to push the plug the slightest bit deeper. He lifts your hips to position himself below you so that you’re straddling his face. “Can you come again, baby?”
“Of course she can. She’s our good girl,” Eren purrs, petting your head softly as you continue to blow him. 
Reiner eats you out sloppily, different from Eren, who’s intentional with his every move. It sends you into another frenzy, pushing you closer and closer over the edge, especially when he begins playing with the plug, pumping it in and out of you slowly. You’re overstimulated with Eren’s hot cock throbbing in your mouth, clit swollen on Reiner’s tongue, and asshole puckered around the smooth glass of the plug. You reach your climax easily, gushing all over Reiner’s face, riding out your orgasm until you’ve completely soaked him in your juices. He drinks it all up, messy and greedy for every drop of you he can scour. He really is as insatiable as you imagined he’d be. 
You release Eren to catch your breath, to which he tips your chin up to face him. “You’re incredible,” he says, the familiar twinkle in his eyes making your heart race. You paw at his chest, crawling up to meet him for a kiss. 
Reiner quickly joins the two of you, not wanting to be left out, rubbing his hard cock between your ass cheeks. You kiss the both of them at the same time, all of your saliva mingling together into a hot, wet mess that you’re currently intoxicated by. After a moment, Eren pulls back. “Does our pretty girl want to get fucked now?”
“Show us how big of a cock slut you are,” Reiner grunts, circling the jeweled end of the plug, teasing your hole. 
Eren helps remove the dress off you completely, hoisting it off your body. He stretches his arm towards the drawer. “Are the condoms in here too?”
You shake your head briskly, bringing his attention back to you. “I want it raw. Want you to fill me up.” 
They both moan, clearly fond of your request, kissing you feverishly. Eren nudges your breast into his mouth, latching onto your nipple. Reiner sucks the skin all along your neck, leaving his love marks, growling, “You want us to breed you, huh? Want all this cum inside these tight little holes of yours. Oh fuck.” His voice is rough and husky, gradually losing his composure. 
Eren’s remains tender, his breath soft on your bosom. “We’re going to breed you so good, sweetheart.” He shimmies down the bed, lying flat on his back, peering up at you with adoration. You straddle him, rubbing yourself on his shaft, needy for friction on your aching clit.
Reiner’s embraces you from behind, groping your chest, focusing on his roommate’s dick and your wet cunt gliding along it. He reaches between you and Eren, fisting his friend’s cock with fast strokes. “Look how hard he is for you. He’s going to fuck you so good. Make you cream all over the sheets.” Your pussy is sopping with arousal from the dirty talk alone, but watching Reiner touch Eren has you dizzy. 
“Fuck, Reiner,” Eren moans, throat bobbing as he swallows hard. “That’s so fucking hot.” He lets his roommate jerk him off while you continue to grind yourself on him. Soon, he replaces Reiner’s fist with his own, cockhead glistening with precum. “Are you ready, sweetheart?”
Reiner moves to your swollen bud, tapping it with his thick fingers. “Oh yeah, she’s fucking ready. Come on, cock sleeve. Put it in.”
Without wasting another second, you line yourself up with him. Eren slides in smoothly, his entire length in you, pussy stretched around him perfectly. You whimper from the fullness, his cock to the hilt and the plug nestled in your backside. Reiner places his hand on your posterior, urging you to lean down so that your chest-to-chest with Eren, who kisses you passionately, remaining still inside you. “Eren,” you whimper his name, drooling into his mouth. He smiles against you, delighted at how fucked out you are for him.
Reiner adjusts his stance, hovering over you by planting one foot on the bed to prop his knee up, giving him enough leverage. He focuses on the plug, tugging it out just barely only to push it back in, repeating this several times, causing you to cry out in pleasure. Finally, he removes it completely, staring wide-eyed at your gaping hole, oh-so-inviting for his fat cock. “Look at that,” he croons, circling your rim with his finger, sensitive to his touch.
You want so badly to be stuffed full by both of them. In a trembling voice, you whine, “Please, Reiner.”
Laughing, he delivers a harsh smack to your ass, skin immediately stinging from it. He dribbles more of his spit onto you, teasing the tip of his dick on the rim. “Not yet, slut.” You can’t see him, too immersed in kissing Eren right now, but you can practically hear the wicked grin on his face, watching you squirm below him as he torments you.
Eren intervenes, annoyed with his friend’s behavior. “Come on, Reiner. Give her what she wants. She deserves it.” He nuzzles his nose to yours. “She’s been a very, very good girl.”
Eventually, Reiner relents. “You’re right. She’s a good girl. And good girls deserve to get fucked in both holes.” 
You shiver at his perverse words, bracing yourself. At last, he guides himself inside you, filling you to the brim. It’s better than any fantasy you could dream of, the sensation so intense, tears begin welling in your eyes.
They start thrusting simultaneously, Eren pummeling your cunt from below, Reiner pounding your ass from behind. It’s messy and raunchy, their hands slippery all over your body from lube, slick, and sweat. The air surrounding you is laden with lust and desire. The collective moans from all three of you echo off the walls of your small bedroom, along with the squeaks of your mattress creaking under the weight of your vigorous lovemaking. 
Reiner is rendered speechless now, totally concentrated on pumping his cock in and out of your fluttering hole, the only sound from his mouth being his ragged breaths. Eren slips one hand between you, his digits pressed to your puffy clit as he fucks up into your pussy. The other fondles your tit, thumb flicking your nipple until it’s perky. He continues to praise you, constantly musing about what a good girl you are, how perfect you are for them. 
At this point, you’ve lost track of how many times you’ve come. You’re in a perpetual state of ecstasy, surrounded by the two hottest men in your life who are voracious for your orgasms. The sour memory from earlier has completely faded and all you can think about is the sweet bliss you’re currently indulging in. 
Eren is the first to come, no longer able to endure it. His even thrusts turn erratic. “Fuck, I’m coming. I’m coming inside you sweetheart, oh fuck.”
You kiss him languidly, drinking up his moans as he floods your cunt with his load. Soon, Reiner swears loudly, announcing his own climax. “Fuck, gonna breed this slutty hole.” His cock swells, spurting his warm seed inside you.
You relax on top of Eren, who’s equally as spent as you. Reiner pulls out slowly, fixated on his own cum dripping out of you. “Fuck. Let’s see the other one, baby.” You lift off Eren, who almost seems reluctant to let you go. Both of them watch with hazy expressions as his creamy load spills out of you and onto his lap. 
The room is musty with the scent of sex, the sheets messy and stained beneath you. Despite that, you’re on cloud nine, soaring high from having the nastiest ménage á trois with your next-door neighbors.
Maybe you should try getting stood up more often. 
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darkestcorners · 2 months ago
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polarity | 06 yandere!jungkook au ( sneak peak )
A/N : I decided to post this little sneak tonight since you guys have been waiting so so long. This is not edited yet so please excuse any grammar errors. Thank you💕 :)
——
“No secrets? I-I know what you did.” You accused in between sobs, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you shifted your body weight towards your right leg that left you in an awkward sitting position. It was hard to ignore the chills running down your entire body, your mind struggled to focus on what you wanted to scream at him.
He turned his head to look down at you. His penetrating gaze meeting yours at last.
“I know that you were the one that made my professor accuse me of plagiarism.” You said after another intake of breath. “ You did it, didn’t you? You blackmailed him! Just like you did to me. Just like you do to everyone in order to get your way. I don’t know with what but you did.”
He was silent. Just quietly looking at you.
Your short breaths only quickened, the horrible feeling coming in waves, stopping then gaining more force. You felt like you were stuck in a mid fall. It felt like years passed before Jungkook slowly made his way over to you, your eyes traced over the slight twitch of his fingers and cubic steel bracelet around his wrist. He bent down to your level and you felt his fingers lifting your chin up at him. You knew he could feel you shaking because he angled your face towards him again when you tried to look off to the side, his set gaze halting your rapid eye movements.
“Seems like a little birdie has been talking.” He whispered to you, he almost sounded disappointed. “That just won’t do, baby.”
You felt the sudden urge to slap him but you went to push him away instead. He caught your arms before you could do so, pushing them towards his chest and pulling your whole body closer to him. His actions were rough and careless. An indicator of just how much you’ve pissed him off this time. You could feel your teeth chattering now, your panic attack reaching its peak as you felt your vision blur. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of ice all over you except you wished someone actually had just to rid you of this feeling.
“You know she’s right, you know I’m right. That’s why you’re so upset.” You went on as you squirmed in his hold.
“How easily you’ve forgotten what she’s done to you. Is it that easy to fool you, baby? Does that bitch really have such a tight hold on you still that you that you accept her words as truth without question?” He sounded a parent scolding a small foolish child over taking sweets from a stranger.
He was wrong. Your once all-consuming love for Eunji had turned into a grudge that you couldn’t shake off. She might’ve been a horrible friend but why would she lie about something like that? It seemed too specific. It seemed like she knew more than she was willing to admit and for some reason that only angered you more. She knew more yet she had given you crumbs in return. Was that the plan all along or was she making you a victim of her selfish bitterness again? Even after everything, it was hard for you to believe she hated you that much.
Because you had seen it. You had seen a fragment of sincerity in her eyes earlier. A small piece of pity, no matter how fleeing.
“Ask your little boyfriend what he was doing walking into Professor Clark’s classroom a few weeks ago.”
You swore you had heard it in her voice too. As if she had been doing you one last favor. Granting you one last bit of kindness for all those years spent together being thrown away. But the more you ponder over it, the more Jungkook’s planted seed of doubt began to grow its roots. Had you only seen what you had hoped to?
“You accuse me of lying to you over some gossip your little fake friend filled your head with? It didn’t take long for you to go running back into her arms, did it? Where is your pride?” The disgust in his voice would be hard to fake and you had to look away from the sheer sincerity in it.
“I didn’t run back to her! I wanted answers and-"
“And did you find them?” He cut you off, eyes searching your face like something in it had already granted him the answer. “No, of course you didn’t baby. You let her have the last laugh again.”
Again.
“How would she know to make that connection and why would she lie about her seeing you walk into our professor’s classroom weeks ago.” You hissed back at him eagerly grasping to take control of the conversation that he had so easily overpowered in seconds.
God, you really couldn’t breath.
“Do you hear yourself? You’re asking me why a girl that has been jealous and spiteful towards you for years would try and scheme against you for sleeping with her ex-boyfriend! ” Jungkook sneered back and you flinched at the sudden raise of volume in his voice.
“Lying comes as easily as breathing to some. Haven’t you learned that by now? You really are more naive than I thought if you have yet to realize how unkind this world is and how often people like you get trampled over.”
You let out another quivering sob, growing more and more upset by his words. You might be naive but you weren’t that naive to not realize that he wasn’t the one who should be saying this to you. Him of all people. It felt like a stab in the chest. Jungkook lets go of your arms and brings them to cradle your face in his hands instead. His thumbs wiping away your never ending tears. His action is meant to be gentle but his grip is so tight that you feel his nails digging slightly into your skin.
“I’ve only ever tried to protect you, baby. Protect you from her and from yourself.” His hot breath sent waves of shock through you, you felt his lips lightly graze your own. “How many times must I save you from her? And from everyone who has ill intentions towards you before you realize it’s only ever going to be me.”
He lifted one hand from your cheek to carress your hair, those glossy doe eyes pulling you in and tugging at the invisible strings on your limbs and heart.
“How many times must I prove my love to you?”
This wasn’t love. It couldn’t be.
It felt like something much stronger. Much too different. Your love for Eunji had never felt this overwhelming. It never felt like you were being lulled to a perfect sleep, just to be suddenly plunged into a free fall. This didn’t feel anything like a secret held close to your chest, your heart skipping a beat everytime you used to see her even when you’d already seen her three times before that day. How giddy you felt at her accidental touches. How much you seemed to please her and never wanted to see her in pain. How easily it came to you to want to fix all her minor inconveniences.
No, this felt nothing like that. It wasn’t a secret. It didn’t allow itself to be. It was too loud. Too ugly. Whatever you had felt for Eunji, it felt five times more heightened with Jungkook. His presence felt like too much yet like there was never enough of it to actually violate you. It fit you in a way you were so frightened to admit. He had taken a piece of you that you never agreed on giving him. Yet it was that very foreign feeling that had you craving him in moments you shouldn’t have. In nearly all hours of a day. You were frightened at what you had been feeling these past two weeks sharing his space. Completely terrified at what he had managed to make you feel for him in such little time .
Even now, he felt so familiar yet so untouchable.
“This isn’t love.” You replied back in a broken whisper. It was mistake and you realized it quickly but it was too late to take it back. You blamed your overly emotional state for the thoughtless response.
A few beats of silence passed with only your uneven breaths filling the room. Jungkook continued to caress your hair before the corners of his lips twitched. An almost sad small appearing on them.
“Fine.” Another few beats of silence. The heavy air lingered.
You licked your dry lips as he retrieved his hand completely from you. Your eyes tracked the movement before they landed on the unreadable look on his face.
“ If you think I’m such a monster, I promise I will show you how easily I can make that come true for you. ” He stated lowly, dark eyes taking in your features again. “And it will make everything else I’ve done pale in comparison.”
—-
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runariya · 21 days ago
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Regarding CCL: I am curious how Y/N and Jungkook actually got to the point of break up. I mean with Jungkook being on the verge of proposing and Y/N on the verge of break-up seems a rather drastic difference on how they viewed their relationship. I would love a drabble on small (or not so small) things that chipped away on Y/N's confidence and just what led to the decision on her end.
The one where JK and OC go camping
warnings: 18+, MDNI, self doubt, mentions of fears/phobias, (short) explicit sexual scene word count: 1.604
a/n: I'm dealing with a headache that just doesn't want to go away, hope there aren't many grammatical errors, the flow is def off
masterlist
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“That’s so cool!”
No, it’s not. How Jungkook can find rafting in this wild stream cool is beyond you—not only because you’re terrified of water, but also because it screams death.
“I don’t know, Jungkook.” Your voice wavers slightly, unable to hide how much you’re freaking out just watching some strangers rafting in the distance, not far from where you’ve parked your camper near the woods.
It’s one thing to go camping with Jungkook—something he’s been begging you to do for years—clearly not realising that you’re also terrified of wild animals attacking you, of getting injured and not being able to get help quickly enough, or getting robbed because you’re in the middle of nowhere with no signal. The list goes on.
But you didn’t have it in you to say no again—not when he was so enthusiastic when you finally agreed. Seeing him happy is all you really want, even if it comes at the expense of your own comfort.
Jungkook’s sparkly eyes meet yours. You’re both setting up camping chairs outside the camper, though the sight of the rushing water has his attention, his eyes fixed on it as soon as he heard the cheers from the people who are obviously as adventurous as your boyfriend.
“It’s definitely fun!”
It’s not. It won’t be for you, that’s for sure. You hate that he’s trying to add even more adventure to your trip, but you should’ve seen it coming.
That’s just how he is—he doesn’t see that when you agree to meet him halfway, he ends up dragging you all the way to his side without realising it.
“I really can’t do this with you, Jungkook. I’m sorry.”
You try not to let his barely hidden disappointment get to you, but with each time, it’s getting harder.
“Don’t apologise, it’s fine, babe. We’re here to camp, right?”
You just nod, unable to meet his eyes because you know it’s not enough for him.
Later that day, after you’ve both eaten by the makeshift fireplace and you’ve convinced yourself that everything’s fine—that Jungkook really isn’t upset about not going rafting—he talks you into a walk through the woods.
Sure, it’s dangerous, but he’s with you, and you trust him, so you agree, clutching his hand like it’s your only lifeline—and maybe it is.
“This is nice.”
“It is,” and you mean it. It’s peaceful, quiet, and not nearly as terrifying as you’d imagined. You know you tend to exaggerate when it comes to the new things Jungkook wants to try, and you’re lucky he’s as patient with you as he is. “You still know how to get back?”
“Yes, babe, don’t worry,” Jungkook smiles down at you, his thumb stroking the back of your hand, soothing you just a little more. And it works. You let your eyes wander over the low-hanging branches, the squirrels chasing each other, and the tree roots you’re careful not to trip over.
“Woah, what the fuck’s that?” Jungkook lets go of your hand, rushing ahead, leaving you scrambling to keep up so you don’t get lost on your own.
Thankfully, the cave opening he’s spotted isn’t far, though the sight of it isn’t any less concerning.
“We should go in there.”
It’s dark—so black it seems like the purest form of the colour you’ve ever seen. You’re certain that if you reached your hand in, it would disappear forever.
Looking at Jungkook’s profile, your heart sinks. Once again, he’s thrilled to try something reckless and new—full of life and excitement that you’re about to crush.
There’s only so much you can do, and wandering into a cave in the middle of nowhere with no one around to help if things go wrong is not one of them.
“No.” You didn’t mean to blurt it out like that, but dear god, this man has to have some sense of self-preservation left in him.
Jungkook’s head snaps towards you, his lips forming a surprised “oh” at your tone, which you’ve never used before, but you’re done.
“No?”
“No, Jungkook! We can’t do this! For a million reasons, and one of them is that I’m not letting us die in there!”
“It’s not that dang—”
“IT IS!”
Silence. And you think you hear birds scattering in the distance after your outburst.
“Okay.” Jungkook nods, and you feel your heart break a little more at the sight of his disappointment in you. Again.
He takes your hand, squeezing it like he’s trying to tell you it’s okay—but you know it’s not. It never was. 
Will it ever be?
Jungkook leads you back to the camper, the silence between you both now uncharacteristically uncomfortable. And as you reach the campsite, you don’t hesitate to head inside, Jungkook following you without a word.
Turning around to face him, your guilt is eating at you too much. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s really fine, babe. Please don’t worry.”
He smiles—he’s been wearing that small smile even before you apologised—but you can see the hurt in his eyes.
“It’s not. I can see—”
“It is.” With that, Jungkook closes the distance between you both, crashing his lips against yours, sucking not only on your bottom lip, but also sucking the doubt right out of you.
Before you know it, you’re sprawled naked beneath him on the sad excuse of a bed, his hips drilling into you with an intensity that makes your mind shut up and your heart sing. 
Maybe everything’s fine. Maybe you were just overthinking again.
“Fucking girl of my dreams,” Jungkook moans, eyes glued to the place where your bodies connect, his hand gripping your thighs to keep them spread wide over his.
Are you really? You’re not sure anymore. But the way he’s fucking you so good, it feels like it must be true.
“Jungkook,” you cry out as he starts rubbing your clit with his thumb, a move he’s perfected for when he’s close and needs you to be too.
“Come for me, babe. Fuck, I need you to come. Now.”
The pace he sets borders on insanity, and as a drop of his sweat lands on your stomach, it’s too much. You come undone around him, moaning so loud that anyone within a three-mile radius could probably hear. As your cunt convulses around his cock, Jungkook thrusts a few more times before finding his release, ropes of thick, hot cum filling the condom as he grunts out his pleasure.
With a final groan, he collapses beside you, discarding the condom before wrapping you in his arms.
“I love you,” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, then your forehead as you both settle into your usual sleeping position, too drained to clean up like you usually would when he’s done with you.
“I love you too, Kook. Goodnight.”
“Night, babe,” he mumbles, already half-asleep before the last syllable leaves his swollen lips.
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You wake slowly in the middle of the night, feeling utterly cold. But…it’s strange—you never feel cold when Jungkook’s sleeping beside you.
It’s when you turn and find his side of the bed not only empty, but the sheets cold, as if he was never there to begin with, that you realise he’s not just nipped to the toilet but that he’s been gone for a while.
You sit up, pulling the blanket around you as you reach for some nearby clothes, running through all the places he could’ve gone. It doesn’t take long for you to figure out he’s probably gone to the cave, unable to resist the urge to explore it on his own.
You should be angry at him, but all you can think about is that he comes back safe and unharmed. That he doesn’t leave you stranded here. That he returns and everything’s fine again.
Peering out of the small window, you can’t make out much, but the full moon offers just enough light to see the vague shapes of your surroundings.
You can’t help but let your doubts creep back in. If you were just a bit more adventurous, maybe he wouldn’t have gone off in the middle of the night on his own. There’s no way Jungkook truly sees you as his future if he’s doing stuff like this. There’s just no way.
It’s one thing to want to explore, but leaving you alone in the camper, in the woods, in the dead of night, with no signal, no way to defend yourself, and no idea how to drive this massive vehicle is just…
What are you supposed to do? You can’t follow him. You just can’t.
You’re sad, hurt, frightened—not just by what he’s done again and what it means for your relationship, but by what could happen to him out there too.
The minutes tick by, and with each one, your composure slips further, leaving you silently crying, your eyes fixed on the darkness outside, praying for him to return any moment now.
Eventually, you see someone emerge from the woods—it’s him. You quickly wipe your tears, strip off your clothes, and lie back down as if you never got up, hoping he won’t notice.
Through barely opened eyes, you watch as he quietly slips inside, undressing and carefully getting back into bed next to you. You have to focus on breathing evenly, fighting the urge to flinch when his arm drapes over you.
And while he’s asleep again in no time, you lie awake for the rest of the night, tears silently soaking into the sheets, knowing you’ll never be enough.
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