#I know I will get hate for this

[onwriting-hrarby]

A goodbye from fandom.

I said this on Twitter, but I am not going to write for the eremika fandom again. Trigger warnings about harassment, pedophilia and more, to come.

Back on April, 2022, out of the blue a big account of the fandom (they had 4k followers; I had barely 150) “outed” me as what they called “a proshipper”. They were blaming writers in the fandom who wrote EM having sex underage, telling them pedophiles. I had not written anything of the sort, but they still felt entitled to label me as such because I read fics of Levi/Mikasa. I had been in fandoms for longer than they had been born, probably, so I was baffled that this was a problem: Because, at the end of the day, proshipper or not, I was reading stories of fictional characters. But if we take a moment to consider that the difference between fiction and reality doesn’t exist, it still baffled me, because I had never written anything underage, nor Rivamika: No, I was a pedophile because I was reading it.

This lack of media-literacy surprised me to the point of beginning to study more about it. I read this article by Viet Thanh Nguyen which said that books in USA libraries are getting cancelled because of “racism” or “homophobia”, books that were written decades ago. You should read the article, but it fully comprises my view that we need to create a critical mass, and we won’t create it if we ban those types of readings. But even if we do read it: does it mean that we share the same morals as the story? Does it even mean that the writer shares the same morals as the story they are writing?

After the tweet, I was being massively unfollowed on Twitter, blocked. Some mutuals even responded to that tweet, saying “Blocking her now”. I tried to argue with that person that I was not reading a fic in which Levi and Mikasa were related, nor underage: they didn’t even debated with me, they insulted me. I blocked them. I got an ask on Tumblr asking what had happened, and I explained my POV. They went to my Tumblr (somehow they found me), screenshot it and shared in their Twitter for everyone to see.

I had an anxiety attack, and for some days, I was deciding whether to end RJ at (just) chapter 2. Because I loved the story I was creating, I decided to pull through. When I came back on Twitter after a month out, nobody remembered me: it was like I had never done anything, I gained the same followers that once unfollowed me. I was… There, again. But I was not the same, in real life: I didn’t know what to share, how to share it. I was afraid of bookmarking something on AO3. Tumblr felt safer, so I went there (thank god). I didn’t know how to answer when people commented, about this fic, pearls such as I was an homophobic, a racist, Grisha was out of character and I was a devil to write Grisha that way. I didn’t find these comments like well-written debate in my inbox: I found it as tweets, without quoting me, of course. I began to wonder whether I was a good writer, until I decided that maybe it wasn’t the right audience to begin with. So, saddened, I wrapped my mind about stopping writing for the Eremika fandom (because, yes, it is the eremika fandom) after Rotten Judgement was finished.

Since then, I have been harassed in my inbox during months. First, for writing Erejeankasa. Comments and comments everyday, telling me that I’m a horrible writer, that I’m boring, that what I do is garbage. Then, spamming hate all over my fics, again, saying that I’m a pedophilic and garbage myself (to their credit, I have now written a Levi/Mikasa fic, in which they are actors and over 30, but alright). The thing is that this is not only a matter of myself.

Lots of my friends and colleagues here have been harassed constantly over what they write. The haters compare them to other well-known writers in the fandom: they advocate for the “purity” of Mikasa (but have no problem in Eren being a manwhore), for the “purity” of the fandom, for “only writing Eremika”. If you don’t, you’re just a “false fan”. They have their fights and sides, but let me tell you: probably one 1% of people will find a teenager attractive after reading a fic, but probably more than 80% of harassed people over the internet will feel bad, triggered and anxious about it.

I know this is (mostly) a Twitter thing: I know we’re prompted to have discourse, to argue our views, to fight for our canon couples or not… in fictional characters. This is the cursive I want to throw in here: that in being so “woke” and fighting for the “injustice” in your little bubble, you’re really not being better than an alt-right defending their stance with yelling and hating. In being so woke, you really act and think like a fascist. Because, in the end, there is a true anti-intellectual belief in the fandom: you are not to put your own views on things that are set. Do not make us think more than the original work. And for now, intellectualism (in Mill’s sense of reflection, and understanding of others, of putting yourself in others' shoes) is the true root of democracy. And the EM fandom is anything but democratic. It reeks of a one distinctive trait of oligarchy, said by Socrates: "one assumes the status of a highest good".

But, in my mind, doing good would not only mean asking the readers to defend their authors; it would mean stopping authors from blasting harmful or harassing opinions on other authors (sometimes, smaller authors than themselves); it would mean that they would understand that while someone can feel triggered by some views, anyone is free to express and write about whatever they want, as long as they, as humans, don’t fight for wrongness; that the moral in fiction doesn’t equal the moral in the author and vice versa. It’s not only to answer hateful tweets towards creators: it’s to pinpoint the tweets of that mutual you always see bashing on other ships or tweets out of the blue, just for fun, or because they really think they will make a change.

It is to signal that we, as a society, are being deactivated at our response in true, real-life problems, thanks to the arguments in social media. That while we can all share and spread help when something big happens, and social media gives us the means to spread awareness, throwing hate to authors who’ve written fictional stories about fictional characters and that you don’t like it doesn’t equal justice, but cyberbullying.

However, I will not be here to fight for it. Differently to the majority of the people who has not uttered a single constructive criticism to my fics, but have found the time to comment, put up bashful tweets (without mentioning me) and without reading the story, I do have a life outside the internet. I have beautiful friends, family, and writing—because I will never, ever not write—to which I want to dedicate my energy. If you care about this fandom, stop spreading hate and negativity of all kind. Remember that you can think you fight for freedom and justice, and end up being a Jaegerist.

I still have an EM oneshot I was writing, but I lost motivation to. I don’t know if I’ll ever keep on writing it, but if I do, you will most likely find it in here. As for Rotten Judgement and I did not live until today, you will still find them here. As for Instead, they said: it is hidden, as it has been for some months, because I want to turn it into an original story. Whether you’ll find it reuploaded in some months, who can’t stay. I am happy to delve into other ships and fandoms for now. Writing two years in these conditions has completely drained me. I urge you to think of all the creators whose works you cannot find anymore, whose Twitter and media got deleted, who put up letters of goodbye to the fandom, and rather than crying about this loss, I urge you to protect the writers we still have. I will keep reading the stories I enjoy, so this is not totally goodbye.

For now, relieved that I’ve finished but angry that this is how I’ve finished, always yours,

Hera.

[inkskinned]

she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.

my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.

my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.

my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.

at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.

my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.

i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.

two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.

it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.

[captainkirkk]

Concept: Peter actually got bitten by a totally normal spider. It's just a coincidence that his mutant powers were awakened around the same time

[sabertoothwalrus]

does science experiments on you (homoerotically)

[chloesimaginationthings]

Elizabeth Afton bets on losing dogs in FNAF..

[fangirlghost-19]

i need an excuse to get my shit together so here we go:

if this gets 50 notes i'll drink more water everyday

if this gets 100 notes i'll start cycling once a week and logging it

if this gets 200 notes i'll start eating more fruit

if this gets 500 notes i'll apply for a summer job

if this gets 1000 notes i'll actually make plans with my friends

if this gets 2000 notes i'll tidy my entire wardrobe

if this gets 5000 notes i'll get a better skincare routine

if this gets 10 000 notes i'll do something about my mental health

the numbers are intentionally high bc i really don't want to do any of this and yeah there is a deadline of the end of june

[peachybunana]

THEYRE HERE AND THEYRE REAL

[bixels]

In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

[hinamie]

7/3: pov u r nanami kento pleased that i managed to pull smth together in time for your bday

[inkiedraws]

"LOL this flip-flop wearing loser thinks he's gonna kick my ass and destroy my whole kingdom in the span of an afternoon. What an idiot"

I didn't intend for this to be a full comic, which is why it just kinda ends. Sowwy

[biboomerangboi]

Hua Cheng essentially cockblocking himself for possibly all of eternity will literally never not be the funniest thing MXTX ever wrote.

Xie Lian was pretty much completely in love with him the second he saw those lanterns (and completely oblivious about it) and then we get the wonderful first kiss underwater moment and Xie Lian is basically drawing hearts around Hua Cheng every time he sees him. While like quietly dying cause he literally has no idea what to do with it. Like at this point he doesn’t even really understand that he is head over heels totally gone for this man.

Until Hua Cheng is like I have a beloved I just haven’t won them over yet. Which he thinks is perfectly reasonable because his self esteem is the worst and he doesn’t understand how he could have won Xie Lian over yet. (He’s only on step 22 of his Marrying Dianxia 3000 step Master Plan ((that he debates throwing out on a regular basis because he doesn’t deserve to even dream about wanting Xie Lian)). So course he’s like yeah I have this wonderful noble beautiful beloved I just haven’t won them over yet wink wink nudge nudge.

But Xie Lian is like oh of course obviously I don’t deserve nice things and fuck I actually wanted him so badly I’m actually in love with him and now I will resign myself to never being happy for his sake. (Their combined self esteem is truly a so low it’s a hole in the ground which is hilarious because they think the other person is to good for them and unattainable forever because they literally have the same neurosis.) So he starts boxing up his feelings forever constantly wanting Hua Cheng and feeling guilty about it and literally dying inside because he wants Hua Cheng like he’s never wanted anyone.

Like essentially books 3 and 5 only happen because Hua Cheng has now cursed them both by saying he has a beloved because Xie Lian believes he isn’t wanted and therefore any nice thing Hua Cheng does is just him being nice and not Hua Cheng pulling out steps 23-34 of his plan thinking he still hasn’t won Xie Lian over. (He has he so has but he shot himself in the foot so badly it’s painful to read).

Like thank the Gods Hua Cheng is so unhinged and created the cave of 10000 Gods cause Xie Lian would literally be at his own wedding to Hua Cheng still convinced he wanted someone else and this was in fact a thing they were doing to solve a case together otherwise.

Like he needed something that unhinged to put 2 and 2 together otherwise he never would have caught on he’s Hua Cheng’s beloved. Meanwhile Hua cheng is like 🥺 he’s going to think I’m a weirdo now and I’m only on step 50 of the plan 🥺 like the two of them wouldn’t have been fucking nasty 2 books ago if he just kept his mouth shut and didn’t cockblock himself so violently.

[0nlyhere4phil]

i had to glitterfy the part of the video that made me leave the room. i literally paused the video and walked outside. i just can't. this- their- jesus christ

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[soranker]

touched up and colored some old dunmeshi doodles from earlier in the year ^_^

[demaparbat-hp]

Their actual first meeting in the Kyoshi Warriors AU!

Katara had her Oh moment before exchanging a word with Jian Li, and while she gets over it in time (or, at least, convinces herself that she's not embarrassed by her initial reaction to him) this quasi-interaction haunts her for the first couple of days of their stay in Kyoshi Island.

It's just not fair that the place is full of gorgeous people! Or that he's not only beautiful, but also kind and awkward and respectful and dorky and—oh, La—she's in trouble.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Steve Raglan has the wrong FNAF Mike Schmidt…