#I keep starting and abandoning it
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dungeon lord marcille ft. timelapse
#marcille#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#my art#thought it would be fun to upload a process vid teehee#love the 0.2 seconds where i tried the pink color scheme & then immediately abandoned it#i still =kind of like it but i think id need to lean harder into the orange rim light#and i really wanted to keep her bloodstained feet bc thts why i drew this. TBH!@!! i love that aspect of her design so much#and her cowl.^__^ <3 sooo cute. I CANT BELIEVE PPL IN UNIVERSE THINK ITS UGLY AND WEIRD .??? DIEEE#also srries for starting the recording late . i dont have it auto checked bc of storage n i always FORGET!!!!!!#until its too l;ate but whtevers i actually kind oif remembered this time
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Okay challenge mode. You are a therapist and Eridan Ampora from Homestuck has just walked right out of his intro page into your office. How do you fix him?
put him and karkat in a room with a pile of stuff and tell them they can't leave until they've jumped into it and talked about their feelings
#realtalk therapy doesnt work unless the person getting the therapy puts in the effort to make it work#eridan starts the comic in complete and utter denial that he's in need of help#so there's really nothing i nor any stranger could do about that#HOWEVER he does talk to karkat often about his feelings (and vice versa) and#the reason they didnt hang out during the game seems to be#1) they were on separate teams and didnt realize the teams were the same team until later on#2) by then it was too late and eridan had aggro'd all his angels#3) gamzee was deliberately keeping eridan away from karkat and vice versa (likely bc gamzee had a palecrush on kk)#4) karkat was too busy falling victim to his own insecurities abt being a leader to pay attention to his actual friendships#4a) eg. it shouldve been the time player doing the frog hunt with kanaya & not the blood player#like im not saying moirallegiance with karkat would have fixed all of eridans problems but i am saying#what eridan really needed was a friend who took his problems seriously and could see past his bullshitting#and karkat already WAS that friend - they just never hung out#so by the time the meteor rolls around eridan has spent WEEKS feeling abandoned anxious and alone on his death planet#and karkat has gotten used to not thinking about eridan too much#so karkat - who is basically eridans only actual friend at that point - isnt able to get through to him & eridan snaps#like the thing about sburb/homestuck is that it really stresses the importance of friendship and working together#letting each other help with each others' problems#thats why the smallest viable game is still two people by necessity#so when we see things like gamzee snapping or eridan snapping or vriska snapping#as much as these are the 'fault' of the person snapping they also need to be viewed as comprehensive team failures#the people who should have spent the game together didnt and the people who shouldnt have spent the game together did#vriska was allowed to bully tf outta tavros and nobody intervened#eridan was left all alone and nobody tried to help him#and everybody was mean to gamzee and nobody tried to connect with him#and you know whose job it is to make sure the right people are hanging out together? the blood player#and unfortunately our blood player was so insecure that he was doing jobs that werent his to do#im not saying pale erikar would fix homestuck but i am saying pale erikar is a symptom of things being fixed in homestuck
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HAAANK DON'T GET MAD AT SCIFI FOR NOT MAKING SENSE HAAAAANK !!! IT'S A METAPHOR FOR REAL LIFE THAT'S MEANT TO MAKE YOU ASK QUESTIONS HANK YOU DON'T NECESSARILY HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THE EXACT MECHANICS!!!! HAAAANK
#added these tags as an addition in the rbs so go in the notes if you wanna read them more easily ->#so many takes i saw abt the new dw season (almost exclusively from ppl who just started watching it) were#about the resolutions not making sense or how not understanding how the plot (esp 73 yards and the finales) was annoying#and like...i absolutely see how it can be annoying if u approach it like you would any#other media but the reason it's different is coz it's scifi... specifically the ghost of extreeeemely old scifi. foundational scifi even#a lot of criticism i keep seeing is really like. person who's never interacted with proper extreme scifi#like maybe the genre isnt for you and that's ok too... but also u can make the effort to#open your heart and accept that scifi has always been really out there concepts and#bad special effects that ultimately just say stuff abt regular life#like for example umm idk like... you dont have to take sutekh clinging to#the tardis literally. he just represents the doctor causing death. or the 73 yard woman as anything#she just represents ruby's fear that there's something deeply wrong with her that makes#everyone abandon her that she will never ever get to understand. & so on....#like you can (and should) take them at face value too ofc but they also represent things. there's layers...#scifi#doctor who#science fiction
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My Personal Headcanon On Why Amy's Love For Sonic Died Down Lately (and their dynamic)
When they were younger, Amy's love for Sonic was pretty extreme, and Sonic was, understandable, uncomfortable for the most part. He knows she means well, but that girl needs to calm down.
She can fight, but sometimes her hammer could only stun her enemies for a while. (It took her a long time to get rid of that robot that has been chasing her around Station Square.) She wasn't fully independent yet, even if she fought on her own a couple of times.
She often follows Sonic and his friends around. She is part of the team, but she was not a strong as she is now at the time yet.
She admires Sonic. A LOT. And Sonic knows that. Obviously, he could only run away from something like that, since he is NOT ready for that kind of thing, and whether Amy takes the hint or stop, she still loves him.
...BUT, I think things were slightly starting to change between her and Sonic after Lost World.
Remember this line?
You remember that? Okay, okay. Here's another totally unrelated question:
Before the events of Lost World, when was the last time Amy said "I love you" to Sonic out loud?
...YEP. 😈 (Unless I'm missing something, let me know lmao)
As more games and adventures come out, the characters get slightly older, and Amy is 12 to 13 now, and she is most certainly at that age where her body starts to change, but especially on how she views Sonic.
She knows she loves Sonic, but it was this moment during her change where she actually wanted to admit that she loves him.
I believe that Amy was all about sharing her affection to him not through confessions, but through obvious hints. Sonic totally got it, and there was no need to confess. Sonic knows she loves her.
...But she never said it. And she almost did, but she never did again for a while.
I think this was the moment in her life where, oh, God, she actually loves Sonic. SHE LOVES HIM, WHAT.
And she was looking back at all the times she had with Sonic that she can now see were unpleasant to Sonic (At least that's what she thinks) and that's probably why she isn't so expressive about her love to him than how she used to back then.
She wasn't sure what to do with this realization, and sets aside it for a while, and nearly stayed as her casual, peppy self... until the Eggman War happened.
During the 6 months of being with the Resistance, fighting Eggman's army all day and all night, all she can think of was Sonic.
She dreams that he still with not just her, but with her friends. She just wanted to see Sonic again, she just wants to be with her hero again.
But I'd like to think that she was also thinking about how she used to treat Sonic back when they were younger, how Sonic would almost always run away from her whenever she asks him out, or always look so uncomfortable whenever she gets so close to him.
Cringing at those memories big time, she wanted to change and hopefully when Sonic is okay and comes back, she can be better for him.
...Or will he still find her uncomfortable regardless? Would he even be happy to see her at all if he did survive?
But, hold on! She can't just give up her love for Sonic! He made her who she is today! A peppy, nature-loving, hammer-swinging, confident, brave... loud-mouth... annoying... Sonic obsessed... weak... pathetic... lonely little girl.
If she gives up on Sonic, it'll be like she gave up on the one hedgehog who saved her life. If she didn't she'll still be the same ol' Amy.
I also like to think she had parents a long while before she met Sonic, and was even expecting a little sister, but a robot invasion happened from where she was and attacked her parents and instead of trying to save them, after getting hurt, she ran away, hoping that they'll come back okay. But they never did.
She was all alone, and needed someone, a friend, a new family, someone who will hold her hand, anyone, to be there for her. But she was ignored by lots, and at that point, she's better off by herself, but still longed for company.
Eventually though, her tarot cards told her her future hero, and there might be hope after all. She encountered Sonic, held onto the belief of the cards tight, and the rest is history.
So, with that headcanon in mind, not only did Amy loose her parents that she didn't save because of her cowardliness (she was only so little at the time that happened) and also Sonic, who she thought will be her only hope, but now gone.
She doesn't even care if he did come back, he'd probably hate her now after everything she did to him, always talking about their "future wedding" or forcing him to go to Twinkle Park.
For the last few months of the war, it was nothing but Amy mentally beating herself up for either refusing to change or moving on, and they are both not fine choices.
She loves Sonic, but he does not love her, and she finally, finally realized it. And it's probably for the best if no body loved her at all.
But of course Sonic did survive and all of her worries wash away in an instant, she's just not expressive about her love for Sonic AT ALL now, since she's still worried about it but rather not mention it to Sonic because it doesn't matter.
If Sonic doesn't love her, then her feelings don't matter to him, and according to Amy herself, that is okay.
But also, I'd like to think that Sonic was thinking about his friends a lot up in the Death Egg for the past months, sometimes it's Tails (worried for his safety), sometimes it's Shadow (because he's wondering why he would join Eggman.) At some point, for a few days, Amy was in his mind the longest, and he felt bad about how he thought he was rude and pushy to her.
He wondered if she's not thinking about it too much, and if she is, will she give up on him? Yeah, he doesn't feel the same and still not looking for a relationship, but it's so strange but interesting how anyone could ever like someone like Sonic the Hedgehog. Amy was never afraid to show that, and she probably might be now.
He couldn't help but feel guilty. They were kids when she was like this, but he was so... arrogant at the time too. Not a lot happened at the time yet. He'd always have trouble expressing how much he value his friends, until he shattered the Paradox Prism. (I'd like to think Prime took place before Forces. It makes sense.)
She is such a sweet girl, and he probably made her believe that he didn't care for her. Just because he doesn't feel the same, that doesn't mean he hates her at all.
He wished he never ran away from Amy... Worrying for his little bro and wishing to be a good person for Amy was when Sonic cried in the Death Egg for the first and only time.
Frontiers, in my opinion, is kind of confirming their dynamic now. Sonic is a lot more sincere and kinder to Amy and she is not all hyperactive and lovey to Sonic. There is probably a real reason for this now.
They are both hiding their feelings from them, and they are both unaware of this. Amy, hiding her mental issues from Sonic, and Sonic, hiding his guilt away from Amy.
None of those things are important now. Sonic is with Amy and Amy is with Sonic. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
They don't care if they'll ever be something more when they get older. None of that matters anymore. They are here with each other. They can be finally be better for each other now.
Maybe someday they'll both talk about it, but for now, the present is important. They care about each other too much to think about it right now.
It's the kind of love that is unbreakable. It doesn't even have to be romantic. It's just love. Love is important for everyone, in any form. It's something Sonic and his friends need. And especially Sonic and Amy.
Amy Rose is the living embodiment of love, and without her, a lot would go downhill for Sonic and co. Heck, if it weren't for her, Shadow wouldn't have never remembered Maria's promise, which lead him to save the world with Sonic, before he temporarily disappeared from their lives for a while.
She is always there to lend a helping hand for anybody, even bad guys like Metal Sonic, and despite what she had been through, both in Forces and headcanon wise, she still fights back, even without her hammer.
She will pick you back up on your feet, reminding you that you are important and that you are loved, and that you should never give up. It's pretty much the words of encouragement she herself needed also...
She is still the happy, hyper, butt-kicking hedgehog we all know and love, but she still need someone to pick her back up on her feet after so long. Thankfully, she has her friends and her blue hero. The hero who made her who she is today.
I think Amy has no idea how important she thought she is, but Sonic does. Sonic knows fully well how important she is to a lot of people. It's about time he returns the favor to her. It's his turn to remind her how much a lot of people love her.
How much he loves her.
And I feel like The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog was the moment where their dynamic really shined, but also the starting point of their relationship not only healing, but also the next chapter of what's to come for them.
Everyone, friends old and new, gathered around for a special birthday. A birthday for the confident, unshakable, and radiant Amy Rose.
It was such a special moment in Amy's life. After years of chasing and following the people she look up to, she is part of the team, but most importantly, she is part of the family.
She is fully realized as someone more than just a fangirl, but someone strong, courageous, creative, kind and a big inspiration for others.
I feel like this moment here...
-is where Amy is eternally grateful to call her friends her family. A family she thought she'll never have again. She's not alone anymore, and as long as they're by her side, she'll never will be again.
Her chasing days are over. She's finally caught up to them. She's finally home.
And it's all thanks to Sonic.
If it weren't for him, she'd probably be alone forever. Her past moments with Sonic might be embarrassing to look back on for a while, but they are good memories regardless, because they involve him.
Sonic saved her life in more ways than one, and despite everything, he's grateful to have her too.
He cares about her. He really does... And in her eyes, that all she needed to know. As long as Sonic loves her in his own way, she'll be happy.
Amy hasn't given up on Sonic. As long as Amy always supports him, he'll be happy.
Maybe sometime in the future, they can talk about their problems, but that's a story for another time. At this point, they need to. Right now, they are happy. They are okay.
They are here for each other. They are finally better for each other now.
"You guys won't ever leave me, right?"
"Wouldn't dream of it."
#piko rambles#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#Meant to be platonic but I don't care if you tag as ship lol#I've been meaning to post something like this for the longest time now but never really got into posting it-#-because you guys REALLY hate seeing these two together for some reason.#Well not for SOME reason. There are valid reasons why you don't ship them. Everyone has valid reason why they don't ship this or that.#But sometimes those reasons can just sound so petty to me. Like the reason why is because Amy is a stalker or Sonic hates her which is FALS#Also those age gap arguments are understandable but so goddamn annoying sometimes. Maybe when they hit their late teens or early twenties-#then they can be together if they want to. Besides a good percentage of Sonic ships are better off if they waited til they're old enough im#I love them regardless of whether they're just friends or an awkward older cringe fail couple lmao#But them being just friends and hiding away all their emotions towards each other just to keep them safe and happy with them- 😭😭😭#Son/adow is my favorite ship of all time and sonamy is my favorite childhood ship/platonic ship because they both have one thing in common.#ANGST 😀#I've been thinking about Sonic and Amy's dynamic as of late and MAN-#Mixed with some personal headcanons of mine and their dynamic as of late just makes me so emotional.#Sonic and Amy have gotten so close now and it's so sweet but so heartbreaking at the same time when you think about it.#I'm so happy they are getting along better and being there for each other but there is so much to dissect here. So much to think about.#I might be a little silly but Amy losing her parents and being alone for so long and being the reason why she's always hanging onto Sonic-#-explains SOOOOOOOOO much about her. At least that's my headcanon for WHY that is.#Amy with abandonment issues speaks to me on a personal level. I'm always afraid of being forgotten or left behind by my family.#I sometimes feel like I'm not good enough no matter how hard I try. I do not blame Amy. I relate to her a lot. It's one of the many reasons#-why Amy is my favorite character besides Sonic and Shadow.#She fights hard to prove she's a valuable member of the team and hates getting left behind but despite all that she wasn't afraid to-#-express herself and her love for people. But after the Eggman War there was some changes that made her less expressive about her love.#Yeah she still loves Sonic but she doesn't admit it because none of that matters anymore and she thought that not being loved by Sonic#-is better than being loved since she nearly wasted her life loving someone who she thought has constantly bothered. 🥲#But I think after TMoStH I think she'll be less afraid of being expressive about it. She and Sonic are just so caring for each other 😭#I love these two way too much that when I think about them for too long I'll start SOBBING 😭😭 I'M EVEN SOBBING RIGHT NOW LMAO
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past and present
#more like pain and suffering#btw this is not a triptych anymore bc while working on it i came up w/ new panels (??idk) for this shit#but that's a story for another day#first one is a ruin grader on devantaka mountain near the statue of the seven#second one is a ruin golem on that same devantaka mountain#third one is the abandoned eleazar hospital or dar al-shifa#it's not 100% clear who was that one doctor that operated there but let's be real - it can only be this bitch#first panel almost was my 13th reason why bc i fucked up w/ composition - redrew it - fucked up again but for diff reason#then i completely changed it and THEN i reversed that decision#first panel is what started it. i had to keep it. and i suffered for that.#genshin impact#dottore#il dottore#ch - art
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no bc when you stop and think about the full implications of fitz and the fool calling each other “beloved” you do have to go a little crazy. it’s required. because what do you mean that 6 sentences after fitz thinks, “being fitz had never been that enticing an existence” the fool summons him back to himself by calling him “beloved” and renewing their bond. what do you mean fitz refers to this as “burning my identity into me.” what do you mean “the word echoed through me, rebounded me from my fraying edges, found and bound me.” what do you mean. are you not going insane.
#me#rote spoilers#fitzloved#Fitz and the fool trilogy#fools quest#realm of the elderlings#like I know we all talk about it and we all get it but do we really. do we really Get It.#this chapter begins with Fitz and the Fool having an INSANE conversation about their relationship#where neither of them can see past their own self-loathing/self-recrimination#Fitz is like ‘I’m such a terrible person for abandoning u last night selfishly’#and the fool is like ‘please god all I want is for u to abandon me selfishly bc I’ve ruined your life’#and it’s. it’s. insane bc. they’re calling each other beloved. they’re calling each other beloved but they don’t get it. they don’t realize#that the other MEANS it.#like this chapter is literally: Fitz berates himself. Fitz then gets overwhelmed by the skill. He starts to disperse into the skill-current#bc the dissolution of his person into the void is attractive to the mental state he’s in#AND THEN!! the fool calls him beloved. AND IT PULLS HIM BACK. INTO HIMSELF. INTO HIS IDENTITY.#HIS IDENTITY IS BELOVED. HE IS BELOVED. THATS WHY HES STILL HERE. BECAUSE PEOPLE LOVE HIM. THE FOOL LOVES HIM.#they cannot see it themselves but their love for each other keeps the other going!!!!
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@theneutralmime
Obi-Wan and Yoda have no obligations to the Rebellion. There isn't even a Rebellion to be obligated TO when they go into hiding initially. And Obi-Wan IS doing his duty to the Rebellion by protecting one of Anakin's children (they believe Anakin's children might be the only people ultimately capable of taking down the Sith, but they also know that if Anakin and Palpatine get ahold of Luke and Leia and turn them into Sith, all hope is lost). Obi-Wan also clearly has a direct communication to Bail and Breha that they can utilize in dire need, so he's not completely removed from the Rebellion.
Obi-Wan and Yoda are intended to be last resorts. They're considered public enemy #1 to the Empire and if they were out there more obviously fighting in the Rebellion, they'd be getting constantly hunted down by the Empire's full might and probably wouldn't last very long. They might even, at least in the beginning, be more of a hindrance than a help because they could draw attention to a fledgling Rebellion and end up killing it before it has a chance to grow at all. Obi-Wan and Yoda are people the Rebellion has in their back pocket for if all hope is about to be lost and they need to pull out a miracle.
There aren't enough Jedi left to force the few survivors to keep fighting on the front lines, especially when there's next to zero support to keep them from being immediately hunted down and murdered by the Empire. It helps nobody to do that. Ahsoka fights from the shadows for most of her tenure in the Rebellion, but we see in the Kenobi show how quickly Obi-Wan is discovered when he does leave Tatooine. It's a matter of a few DAYS before the Empire is on his tail and he barely manages to escape with the help of other people.
I do think that the whole purpose of Obi-Wan and Yoda being in hiding has been made a little muddied by all of the Jedi characters who have been shown to be fighting in the Rebellion (Ahsoka, Cal, Kanan and Ezra) and so now people go "well if they could do it, why couldn't Obi-Wan and Yoda?" And I get that, but I feel like it misses the point of why Obi-Wan and Yoda chose to go into hiding in the first place. They're protecting the potential future of the Jedi and the last Force sensitive children they even know are left to protect, as well as protecting themselves as potential future assets to the Rebellion and the fight against the Sith and the Empire.
#star wars#obi-wan kenobi#yoda#i started this draft a week ago and then had to run a week long event and i no longer remember if i had other thoughts#i feel like this gets my feelings on this issue across well enough still though#obi-wan and yoda did the best they could in the wake of the genocide of their entire culture#they were not obligated to keep fighting and dying for a rebellion that didn't even exist yet#and remaining in hiding doesn't mean they AREN'T doing anything helpful#obi-wan and yoda are the last remaining jedi masters that they know of too#if their culture is going to survive then they ALSO need to survive in order to pass it along to the next generation#and as far as they know in that moment the next generation is several hours old at best so there's nothing they'll be able to do for YEARS#people claiming obi-wan and yoda abandoned the rebellion or whatever are just being assholes about it
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Me @ the Duffers: GIVE ME JONATHAN PLEASE I COULD MAKE HIS S4 STORYLINE SO MUCH MORE FUCKED UP
#like a Jonathan who applied to NYU and got in but hasn't heard back from Emerson#and he can't just abandon his mom and Will and Nancy#but he's wanted this since before he started to put everyone's needs first#but is he even “allowed” to what things?#and he's keeping it all to himself and hasn't told anyone#which makes Will's I'm here for you too worse#and Nancy's “our plans”#AND Joyce asking what's wrong with him#and then in s5 you have Vecna taunting him over the secret and fake nancy and Will asking if he's really going to leave them#tying into the abandonment issues#obviously this culminates with his loved ones telling him it's ok to go#specifically Joyce and Will#and then Nancy gets another “ what's a little more?” callback moment#because like they can do long distance if it means he's happy#anyways i could make him WORSE#one day I'll finally write the Byers in California fic#jonathan byers#stranger things
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Control over time
#ramble in tags! this is my current idea for what Mao is doing in the current arc#because unlike Fumiko Mao actually cares about Denji and Nayuta outside of just being people she should be around because of her job/#agreement with Public safety. so she wouldn't abandon Nayuta in the middle of that mob like Fumiko did#anyways backtracking a bit. So when Fumiko arrived at Denji's apartment as it's being burnt down by Barem and the weapon hybrids#she brings Mao (devil form) along with her instead of the random PS backup dudes#(she went after her in the time she split from Denji and Nayuta. as before that Mao was dealing with the followers at the csm church#alongside Katana and Nail. she tried to see if she could revert the transformed humans back to normal but it's sorta like fiend logic#so she couldn't do much other than cure their injuries since they're pretty much just devils by that point)#back to present time. Fumiko sends Mako to attack Barem#she injuries and throws him to the ground but then Whip appears and makes a huge dent in a side of her head before cutting Mao in half#hence why the blood and ripped clothes she has in this drawing#so Mao is down. temporary as she isn't fully dead but can't to much other than keep moving the clock pointers around and regenerating#Barem tries to choke Nayura and Fumiko shoots him in the head. then the fight between Denji and the weapons + the subsequent mess#with the random citizens attacks him happens pretty much the same#Fumiko leaves Nayura on her own and when she looks to the side she sees Nao crawling in her direction#she asks her to give her some time and she'll be able to fight again. so Nayuta starts killing people and by the time Barem gets the mob#to go kill her Mao is back at full strength and fights back to defend her. subsequently the two of them escape#so Mao is helping Nayuta on whatever she's currently doing. if she's alive that is#if it does turn out that Nayura is dead dead then i may leave Mao with the devil hybrids for the time being. they have a weird relationship#csm#csm oc#chainsaw man#csm part 2#hyena scribbles#Mao Masashige#Nayuta csm
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Got Aventurine in 60 pulls!
He’s so auxhuehuche I’m so happy I have him now
#This is actually from 10 days ago but i forgot to post it so#I started on the 20th and i just got to equilibrium 3#Im at the part where we should leave luofu but we visit a few friends we made along the way or smth#Im so happy hes my first limited 5 star i love him#Hes my second oshi after dan heng or maybe even my first#I want to change the voicing to english for aventurine but i cant bring myself to abandon ito kento as dan heng#Maybe i can just change it to en for most of penacony and change it back when jing yuan and dan heng somehow appear#Ugh im still regretting missing out on jing yuan voiced by cyyu#But Ito kento#But i also like english dan heng too omg#Oh i also want to hear eng dr ratio bc he acts slightly differently towards aventurine compared to like jp#Like he sounded much more uh passionate in the aventurine keeping up with star rail video and i was living for it#hsr#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#Aventurine#aventurine hsr#star rail aventurine#Hm idk im not sure if i should skip all 4 characters in 2.2 and after that (firefly and jade etc)#I have almost 100 tickets saved rn but like im not rly sure ab pulling for any of them#Idk im not really attached to any of the characters rn#Maybe i should wait for ruan mei? I don’t particularly love her tho shes inhumane but pretty idrc#Firefly and robin are apparently rly good but i feel like im baiting myself everytime i read another reddit thread and watch another video#Like idk the only 5 stars i have are yanqing dr ratio and aventurine all e0s0 and i dont feel like pulling for topaz either (boothill idk)#im really tempted to pull for jingliu but im probably going to pull for dhil maybe next year when he reruns just bc i like him so again idk
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so....tiny gremlin...I see, you have stolen one of our best fanfiction writers😤 (jk!)
I can guarantee you there is no remorse in this tiny gremlin body. Only chaos, love, milk and poop.
(But Oh my! ( 〃▽〃) you flatter me Anon!! (T▽T) ❤️❤️)
#c: replies#anon#i have like... 10 half finished drafts on my phone of fics I've started and then abandoned after the little gremlin came into our lives#i keep trying to write when she has a nap...#but she sleeps for such short times and only when ON me...#so writing becomes a little difficult...#i appreciate the message so much thought ❤️ 💕#thank you so much for reading my fics 💗
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1.10 / 1.09
#something to be said not just about how Ibrahim aims to replace his past family with his present bond with Süleiman (and Musti and Mahi#branch off of that bond) but also how Hatice fits in all of this - the one Ibrahim leans on everytime he's likely to lose SS is *her*#she isn't just the future he wants to secure in the castle but also the past he yearns for outside of it especially in that initial period#of their relationship; and not just any past but a very particular fragment of it - the next most valuable person of his past other than#his brother: his *mother*. it's no wonder him playing *his mother's* melodies with the violin marks the beginning of their story and stays#an important motif throughout. just like Ibrahim's mother Hatice is so familiar yet so out of reach (and this unreachability accumulates in#E13 - Ibrahim leaves for Parga thus returning to his past but leaving Hatice behind but *then* finding out his mother is gone too.#*both* people he wants to be close to soo much are *gone* in that moment. there's a link between them because of this. also Hatice tieing#lbrahim's mother to “heaven” as well and her “looking at their happiness from above” Ibro responds with in E14.) Hatice will distance#more and more from that role later on until lbrahim starts to outright abandon this whole 'return to the past' idea with Hatice and#search for it through Nigar instead. but yeah anyway I feel these two scenes are the perfect encapsulation of how complicated#the past is for lbrahim; he avoids remembering it because it *hurts* to remember both because why would he remember it when he already has#an established future and because deep down he resents what he's become and established as that isn't ever permanent and he's lost all else#*himself* most of all as who is a person without his roots? he wants to forget them but can't ever do it so what's left is replacing them#*all of them*; when he finds Hatice too he wants to have *both* her and Süleiman and SS marrying Hatice off directly challanges that want#up to that point he believed in the possibility of their love more than Hatice did; now? he seems as lost as she is not knowing what to do#the only way not to lose either of them is accepting Süleiman's order convincing himself that this is how it should be no matter how much#that hurts and would bury him even deeper; he can't bear it so he searches for a solution - and when he sees Rhodes sea? it hits him#it hits him how low he's actually sunk through the losses and if he can't “fully* replace the past he'll *fully* return to the past letting#*everything else* once hidden out as well. not to mention how right before he left to Parga he was brought to fear for his literal death#and then he is given more power that also brings some uncertainty with it and that likely scared him cementing his departure for Parga#directly following Piri Pasha's advice to let power go as it won't let *you* go#(btw a big contrast between S01 and S03 Ibrahim can be drawn in his relationship with Piri Pasha and his relationship with Ebusuud)#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#muhtesem yuzyil#ibrahim pasha#(sorry for the disorganized tags but if I kept it like it was I would've exceeded the limit before I even finished 😅)#(just Ibrahim and Hatice in general are people who latch onto each other to get over their losses and ache for peace amidst their turbulent#lives and positions and that's what keeps them close and will later too)
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In Room For Growth Mariner really does heavily imply that she'd finally do something to get herself kicked out of Starfleet if Brad's "Bold Boimler" antics got him killed.
#lower decks#lwd#marinler#beckett mariner#bradward boimler#sorry sorry#I don't mean to keep posting things about old seasons#but I'm rewatching everything with The Inner Fight goggles on now#Anyways it's interesting to me how in the context of season 4#A lot of Mariners quippy one liners start to actually come across#as someone expressing very intense and frequent anxiety about death and abandonment#but doing so in a way that wouldn't be immediately obvious if you didn't know how much Sitos death effected her#like there's a lot of lines I laughed at when first watching the show#that now I watch them and I'm like 'oh no Mariner 🥺🥺🥺🥺'#like I'm actually sort of coming to the conclusion that she is - base level - more anxious and high strung than Boimler is#she just expresses that anxiety in a less obvious ways so the people around her don't pick up on it#might make a longer post about this once I've finished my rewatch
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"it's always hating on rhaegar for rhaenys and aegon's deaths never tywin" because rhaegar was their father and had a responsibility towards them that tywin did not, stay in school
#personal#anti rhaegar targaryen#fandom critical#like one it's because tywin's blame is very uncontentious#it's just everyone and their mother going 'yeah he ordered it' and agreeing that he sucks for it#i have my thoughts on tywin's culpability (mostly that i do believe he didn't mention elia if only cuz she never crossed his mind)#(as he's a raging misogynist and i do believe that he was annoyed that lorch and clegane were as brutal with children)#(since it's not the best pr)#but it never extends to a lack of culpability on tywin's part#meanwhile rhaegar stans (why does he have them? who knows couldn't be me i'm normal) wanna pretend like this isn't his fault#when it IS#he was elia's HUSBAND! he was rhaenys and aegon's FATHER! it is his JOB to keep them safe during a war HE STARTED!#rhaegar had a responsibility to do whatever possible to ensure the safety of the children he chose to bring into the world and their mother#instead of going off to fuck a girl the same age as most high school freshmen!#rhaegar chose to abandon his family to the care of his violently crazy and racist father#who he knew was violently crazy and racist#unless he was dumb as rocks he was not unaware that no matter what this was not going to end well for elia and rhaenys and aegon#but he did it anyway and that does make him culpable for what happened to them#he had a responsibility to all of them ESPECIALLY his toddler and fucking baby and he FAILED that responsibility#and it is his fault that they were murdered#that is on him#it is not solely on him it is also on aerys for not letting them leave the city even once the cause was doomed#and it's on tywin for ordering their deaths and on lorch and clegance for doing the killings#but it is ALSO on rhaegar not just for creating that situation but abdicating his duties to his family to be a fuckass predator#this is like sixth grade reasoning honestly#i think some of you are just incredibly stupid
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some men are textbook villains fr
#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on#some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago#liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not#tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much#i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different#things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how#id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet#but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that#and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on#you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding#things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc#life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam#me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone#(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it#mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared#my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN#'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean#i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective#but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back#and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever#anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol#def gonna delete later#but ty for reading if u did <3
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