#I keep staring at him I feel ill/pos

[izuizzy]

human vox… human vox… human vox…

[agaypanic]

To Love a Monster (Emmett Cullen X Human!Reader)

Kinktober Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Request Something! | AO3

Kinktober Day 31: Monsterfucking

Summary: Emmett never thought that he’d fall in love with a human. It’s too dangerous, there’s so many things that could go wrong. But when you look at him with those pleading eyes of yours, how could he ever say no?

A/N: happy halloween!! i know today’s literally the last day of october but i swear ill get the other kinktober fics done and posted. im finally getting medicated so i think that’ll help with my procrastination/lack of inspiration lmao emmett cums inside but reader does NOT get pregnant with a hybrid freak like bella did

C/W: unprotected p in v sex, interspecies relationship (human and vampire), soft dom!emmett, emmett trying to not literally break you, slight pain kink

***

It was so wrong, being with Emmett. It was dangerous, the amount of power he had over you without even trying. He could kill you, drain you dry without a second thought.

But you didn’t care. You loved him, and he loved you. He made sure that was known by telling you a million times a day and by being extremely gentle with you. Sometimes, he treated you like you were glass, which annoyed you every now and then. But when you were with Emmett, who had extreme strength, you might as well be glass.

Sometimes, Emmett was scared to be with you. He didn’t want to hurt you, and he didn’t want to accidentally lose his resolve around you. But when you looked at him, eyes full of want and wandering hands somehow warming his stone-cold body, he could never refuse you.

“God, you feel so good, babe.” Emmett groaned as he stared up at your naked form bouncing on his cock. Although he liked to be in control, he’d occasionally let you take the lead. If he was feeling generous, he’d even let you tie him up like he was now. 

Emmett thrusted up into you, and your hips stuttered. “So big, Emmett.” You sighed, splaying your hands out on his broad chest to keep yourself steady as you kept riding him. “Makes me feel- ah! So full.”

Your boyfriend kept fucking into you, but it wasn’t enough for him. There was only so much he could do without his hands. 

“Wanna touch you.” He complained, tugging at his restraints half-heartedly, knowing they’d snap if he actually used force.

“Where, Em?” You asked teasingly. One of your warm hands left his chilled chest to grope your breast. “Here?” Or…” Slowly, your hand trailed down your stomach, inching closer to where you and Emmett met. Two fingers ghosted your clit, and you clenched around Emmett’s hard cock at the sensation. “Maybe here?”

While you continued riding and teasing yourself, Emmett’s eyes were glued to you. You looked so damn perfect, he wanted to be the one touching you and making you whine the way you were now. 

Sensing he was getting frustrated, you leaned close to Emmett. “Do you wish you could touch me, honey? Fuck me and tease me until I’m creaming all over your cock?” Emmett let out a moan so guttural it sounded like a growl. You smiled, knowing you were about to get what you were really wanting. “Is that what you want, Emmett?”

He answered by ripping the rope that was holding him to shreds, freeing his wrists so he could finally get his hands on you. Emmett grabbed your hips and flipped you so you were the one underneath him before thrusting in and out of you like a jackhammer.

Emmett half expected you to start yowling in pain from the force of his thrusts and his iron grip. But instead, you let out an endless string of moans and locked your legs around his vast body so he wouldn’t get away. 

“So -ah, so fucking, fuck, good!” You were quickly losing your sense, becoming overwhelmed by Emmett stretching your cunt and practically slamming into your cervix. It just hurt so good.

“You’re so tight.” He hissed, fangs coming out in the midst of his heavy lust. “And so wet for me.” He dipped his head down to rest in the crook of your neck. His lips ghosted over your pulse point, your pumping blood spurring him on. Very lightly, Emmett dragged his pointed teeth over your skin. Not enough to make you bleed, but enough to send a shiver down your spine. “And you smell…” He took a deep breath, sighing as he reluctantly pulled away from you and sped up his thrusts. “Fucking delicious.”

Feeling close, you reached down to rub your clit, but your hand was quickly smacked out of the way. Emmett wanted to be the one to make you come. 

He rubbed your clit in a fast circular motion, his other hand holding your hip with enough force to not end up breaking it. You’d likely have a bruise that he would surely baby you over.

It wasn’t long before your orgasm hit, and Emmett grinned down devilishly at you as your eyes rolled back. “That’s right, babe. Cream all over my cock.” 

You did just as he said, orgasm prolonging as Emmett continued his ministrations to reach his own peak. Soon enough, he was painting your walls with his cum, fucking it deeper and deeper into you. As you both came down from your highs, Emmett slowed his thrusts. But he didn’t stop them. Instead, he decided to keep fucking you at a snail’s pace until you were ready to get absolutely wrecked again.

“That was…” You took a deep breath to collect yourself, letting out an airy laugh. “Wow.”

Emmett smirked, leaning down to kiss you deeply. “If you thought that was good, wait until you become a vampire. We wouldn’t leave my room for a week.”

***

Twilight Taglist: @wedfan2 @natashamaximoff-69 @pink-hufflepuff

Emmett Cullen Taglist: @fuckshitslover

[schizoidcel]

## BOOTHILL x READER ★

🤍 ﹒ HEADCANONS ! ! . .

－ notes ̽ ۪⠀written before his release + gn reader huhu. yall i swear ill get to the lcb requests but im brainrotting too fucking much right now boothill is colonizing my mind so enjoy these thoughts i had and will throw into the tags

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

He's a little spoon and NOBODY can convince me otherwise period.

We know damn well hes touch starved. So ofcourse he'd wanna be nuzzled up inbetween your chest and chin

Will teach you how to ride a horse. He definitely has a favourite (his name is Sebastian 🌚🌚)

Very protective over him though. You will not ride on that horse until you are months into the relationship

He gave you another horse to practice riding on and an extra horse incase the other "knocks your socks off" ... Whatever that means

You named them Yee and Haw and he was so conflicted with his emotions that he considered getting a routine check up on his body

Will tease you if you completely fuck up immediately.

He grabs your hands to gesture on things you should be wary about while being on the back of a horse, knowing it'll mess your brain up and lead you to not pay attention to a single thing coming out of his mouth

On the other hand if you're able to handle it in a short amount of time, he'll start flirting with you

"I'm doing it, Boo!" "Nice work, honeybunch. Think ya can manage ridin' somethin' else?" "Dude"

It's one or the other. You will not escape the Boothill down bad programm

Boothill also acts like a himbo to mess around with you.

On another note, you called him Bootyhill once and he's still shook up. Whether /pos or /neg is up to interpretation

While we're on the topic of nick/pet names, he calls you things you've never heard of before .

Or even if you did, they're things you expected never to be called 😭

What the fuck is a doodlebug Boothill

Type of man to get flustered when you flirt back. He just starts bugging out

Will play it cool though, but the faint blue on his cheeks says otherwise

Also a fan of headpats. No, he's not ashamed. No, he will not tell you.

Expanding on the no shame, Boothill takes it to the extreme

No filter, no mask, no nothing. Touchy EVERYWHERE you go

Even if he can't really feel it, he just feels more at ease when you both are near eachother or touch one another. Man wants to protect his partner, after all

It dosen't matter if you're able to protect yourself, the gesture just makes him feel more comfortable and calm

Also has a hair pulling kink woah. Let's keep it sfw everybody

Forehead kisses ❤️ or just kisses anywhere on his head in general. Kiss behind his ears and he will overheat

He let's you play with his hair<3 It's one of his favourite passtimes with you

Braid it, tie it in a ponytail, give him buns, pigtails, curl them, decorate them with hairpins, clip bows in his strands it don't matter PLAY WITH HIS HAIR ⁉️

He relaxes SO MUCH it's insane. Genuinely just one finger goes into that hair of his and he melts

This plays into the little spoon factor

You'd tease him about it but he takes pride in it 😭

Has a weird obsession with biting. If you complain that it hurts he goes "What, want me to smooch the pain away?" and he does this fuckass face :3 while you're just staring at him dead in the eye (you say yes btw)

If you're ticklish, he's hell for you

Tickles you in the most random times possible.

And you know it's even WORSE with those cold ass metalic hands

You're cuddling? The sides of your torso are not safe. You're currently occupied with an activity involving your hands? Your armpits are not safe either. He's laying on your bare stomache face down? He starts blowing raspberries.

You know damn well he uses the feathers of his hat 😭

Sticks it up your nose to make you sneeze too. Usually to wake you up or some shit

You could have the most volcano eruption alert level 5 sneeze and he'd still say "Aww, ya sneeze like a kitten!"

One last note this man is a whiney loser bottom not sorry

the word ill is in boothill for a reason the way im laying in bed all sweaty ANYway 🌚😵😵😵😵

ૢ་༘࿐ thank you for reading ! Ⳋ᧙

[vxmpyree]

HELLO first if all I LOVE UR WRITING ... UR NIKTO FICS MAKE ME WANNA SCREAM INTO A PILLOW (/very pos)

ive never requested anything ever so im shy n gonna use anon teehee. ANYWAYS ik you said you write for pretty much anyone but i'm still gonna ask: do you write for keegan? if you do..... could i ask for a sick fic?🙏🙏 or any type of fluff rlly. with a male reader :3 (theres barely any for him 💔) THANK YOU FOR UR SERVICE IN THIS FANDOM BTW RAHHHH🫡🫡🫡💖💖‼️‼️‼️‼️

ofc!! i dont know much about cod ghosts so sorry for any errors. thisll be my first plot fic :)) ♡ not beta read,,

[im the devil - clams casino] [0.7k wc]

when keegan returns from deployment, he finds you ill, and not just with a bit of a sniffle and cough. no, he can hear how your lungs shudder with every breath and feel how your skin is hot to the touch.

being his husband isn’t an easy job. he’s always out for one reason or another. you’ll be at home watching a film together, only for his boss to call and say that they need his help. he’s too much of a workaholic and empath to say no, i’m busy. keegan is always worrying about you, always thinking about the slight pout of your lips when he comes out of his bedroom in uniform again. 

so, seeing you like this doesn’t do any good for his anxiety. 

“you’re burning up,” he mutters, pulling a thermometer out of your mouth. 

the curtains are drawn, letting in only traces of sunlight tinted by the lavender linen. more light would only give you a headache. 

he pulls off his gloves before reaching out to touch you, not wanting to touch you with the same cloth that clutches his rifle. his rough palms move to cup your cheeks, swollen from fever and sweat. you can hardly even keep your eyes open.

“did you eat today?”

he grumbles as you shake your head. you must’ve been too sick to get out of bed, only able to helplessly roll over and try to sleep through hunger pangs. at times like this, he wishes he hadn’t chosen an occupation of aiming sniper rifles and long months of waiting in bushes or on tall buildings. then, he’d be able to take care of you. 

“do you want to eat? we’ve got… hm… soup and crackers. or bread,” he presses.

you shake your head again. you don’t want to eat!

keegan sinks into the edge of the bed and furrows his brow, considering you. he has the air conditioner unit on for your feverish top half, and keeps the sheets over your shivering legs. he’s taken your temperature and wiped you down. he gave you some tylenol, which should’ve gone with a cold glass of water, but you gulped it down before he came back with something to drink.

something is missing. there’s more that he could do for you, but he just can’t put his finger on it. 

when he lifts his head to check on you, keegan finds that you’re already staring at him. he has to stifle a smile. you are what makes him feel at home-- your accepting stares, and the slight curl of your lips. it would’ve been impossible not to wish for something more when you’re so welcoming, so warm. 

you motion with one hand for him to come closer. for a moment, he wants to say no, that his face is still covered in grease and he’s clad in heavy armor. but what’s the use in saying no to a face like yours? before he can even start stripping himself of his gear first, he’s already slipping into the sheets.

there’s the low hum of the air conditioner unit and the occasional car rolling down your quiet street. everything seems so small when he’s here with you, tucked away from the world. all he can think of is the smell of your shampoo and the slow rise and fall of your chest.

"...did you just miss me?” he whispers.

you only smile and watch him silently, looking at the bump in his nose and cheeks starting to droop with age. he’s getting older and so are you. it feels like you two only just settled down. the years have slipped through his fingers like sand. maybe it’s time for him to retire. then, he could spend all the time with you in the world.

keegan leans closer to you, and wonders if he smells like gunpowder and sweat. but he waves his worries away in favor of gathering you in his arms. his palm rubs slow circles into your back, wrinkling your old t-shirt. 

you cough into his chest and furrow your fingers into the back of his heavy jacket. your hands claw helplessly like it’ll ameliorate the itch at the back of your throat or your heavy cough. if he could, he’d do away with this sick spell. he can do things most men can’t, from scaling towering buildings to gutting men, but he can’t fix his poor husband’s fever and runny nose.

he pats your back until you settle down, becoming jelly in his arms. 

will he be sick tomorrow? definitely, but he wouldn’t mind spending a day hidden away with his husband, even if the two of you can only lie in bed and kiss each other’s warm faces.

[triptychofvoids]

Autistic medic gives me life ❤❤. Any random hcs for him? /nf /pos

of course! autistic medic is canon to me

ive already talked a bit about him being autistic before so a few of these maybe be things ive already mentioned but ill say them anyway

this is already obvious to everyone already but his special interests are surgery and medicine! anything medical really. hes also very interested in anatomy and pigeons (specifically pigeons. he probably couldnt tell you a lot about parrots for example, but if you want 100 facts about doves then hes your guy). and of course hed have a bunch of other hobbies and interests but those are the big ones

hes more prone to shutdown than he is to meltdown. not that meltdowns would never happen, theyre just more rare. usually a shutdown would come first and on the occasion hes pushed past that then a meltdown would follow, and after a meltdown then hed have a second even worse shutdown. thankfully situations like these are rare

like ive said (and drawn) before his main stims are rocking, hand flapping, echolalia, tensing up and hand wringing, and biting. a few other less obvious/not as common that he has are sparkly/flashy visual stims, he also loves both feeling and seeing anything gorey, he likes petting his birds, certain noises would be very pleasant to him like his doves cooing or coins clinking together and the sounds of the mediguns. hed love the smell of coffee and isopropyl. hed have a few others stims too but theyd be more rare and very situational like hitting himself or toe walking.

hes weird about his gloves and his coat. as in he would put them on for a specific reason but once he gets used to having them on he would absolutely hate taking them off. he has to keep them on for the rest of the day no matter what. and vice versa, if hes not wearing his gloves or coat then he cant just?? randomly put them on?? no no its all or nothing theyre either going on for combat and then staying on for the rest of the day or not at all

hes very excitable and loves to talk and if hes engaged in a conversation or excited about something then his voice will gradually get louder and louder and he'll keep interrupting or talking over people. he wont even notice it until someone points it out to him

you cant take him to the store because hes going to touch everything and then very quickly regret it when hes suddenly overcome with the overwhelming soul crushing need to wash his hands and theres no sink around. its so over :[

bad at left vs right and identifying north, south, east, and west. nothing else to say here, its not that he gets lost easily, he can find his way around just fine its just that hes awful at directions

very strict about his routines and lists. he cannot stand it if he makes plans and they get postponed or canceled. he hates it if he makes a list of things to get and then cant get everything on the list exactly correct. hes actually more than willing to do things on impulse in the moment but only if hes already mentally planned to do that or if it doesnt interfere with something else he has going on

hes very blunt and direct. he says exactly what hes thinking and answers questions very honestly and directly. people often find him to be rude for this but he doesnt get why. speaking of him being seen as rude, he used to get in trouble for always rolling his eyes or talking back to people because for the longest time he didnt realize that trying to stretch your eyes or avoid eye contact or staring could all somehow be considered 'rolling' your eyes. or rude. and talking back... isnt that how a conversation works? hes never been very good at knowing when he is or isnt supposed to reply to statements.

ive said it before but i will say it again. he has little to no empathy. every autistic person is different of course and not all autistics have low empathy, but im tired of low enpathy being seen as a bad trait. im tired of people with low empathy (autistic or otherwise) being seen as evil and uncaring. having low empathy doesnt make you a bad person. he has very low empathy and often struggles to connect with and understand others. he frequently will have the wrong emotion for the situation and may sometimes come off as uncaring when he is not as sad about something as they are, etc etc etc but he is not some horrible evil monster for it and i do not want to see anyone saying that because its just completely incorrect. hope this helps

anyway!!!! theres some autistic medic!!!! i hope you like him as much as i do!!!!

[roohuh]

“Did your bag grow wings?”

Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Summary: Sebastian takes pity on a girl who’s bag has been stollen by bullies.

Warnings: angst kinda, hospital and chronic illness trigger

Word count 1066

Sebastian eyes the girl as she awkwardly tries to scramble up a tree to retrieve a bag caught in the branches. After a few failed attempts she stands hands on her hips staring up at the bag, a forlorn look darkening her brow.

“Did your bag grow wings?” He asks in his most serious voice, scrutinizing the bag. Turning to Sebastian the girl seems to only now notice him.

“Oh just leave me be!” She pleads before bending over to pick up a rock.

“As you wish.” Sebastian chuckles, throwing his hands up, backing away. The girl rolls her eyes, then begins to throw rocks at her bag.

“You will never get it down like that.” Sebastian laughs at her struggling. “Where is your wand?” Whipping her head around the girl catches Sebastian off guard with a tearful face. She looks as if she is going to say something then turns around, running away with all of her might.

“Hey wait up!” Sebastian calls, whipping out his wand, retrieving the bag. The girl does not stop for his call, instead running back to her house. Standing there dumbly Sebastian grasps the bag, feeling the shape of a wand inside.

“Dummy, you need your wand.” Sebastian shakes his head walking in the direction the girl ran. He does not make it far before he hears soft crying coming from the girls bathroom. Wavering before the door, Sebastian tries to decide the correct course of action, knowing he could just give her bag to a house elf and be done with it. They would return it to the rightful owner, however the sound of muffled cries tugs at him.

“Merlin's beard this better not backfire.” Sebastian sighs before pushing open the door and walking in. The crying stops the second the door opens.

“I have your bag.” Sebastian offers, hoping he has not just stumbled across another different unfortunate girl. Sniffles come from the stall furthest from the door.

“Do you want your bag or not?” More silence. As Sebastian turns to leave a small voice comes from the stall.

“Please leave my bag.”

“She speaks!” Sebastian laughs as he gently sets the bag down in front of the stall.

“Thank you.” Her voice is small and shaky.

“Anytime.” As he turns to leave a thought occurs to him. “Who threw your bag in that tree?” There is a long silence then the girl lets out a shaky breath.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does.” Sebastian’s voice is firm.

“Then I did it.” She shoots back defiantly. Running his finger through chestnut hair Sebastian chuckles.

“You are a strange one.” Then makes his exit.

As Sebastian sits to dinner he watches with satisfaction as the girl's bullies shuffle over to where she sits. Sebastian easily tracked down the cuprates teaching them a lesson they would not soon forget. The group of thrashed malcontents cast fearful looks in Sebastian’s direction while they deliver their apology to the girl. She too keeps sending looks in Sebastian’s direction, and the looks do not stop after the dejected group of miscreants shuffled to their seats. Before Sebastian can finish half of his plate he notices the girl standing excusing herself from the table. Unable to contain his curiosity, Sebastian stands to follow the girl. At his friends sudden movements Ominis gives Sebastian a funny look.

“Going somewhere?”

“The toilet, I need some air.” Sebastian mumbles as he makes his escape ignoring Ominis objection,

“Oh yes, just the place I go for fresh air.” Sebastian follows the girl unnoticed as she leads him all the way up to the infirmary, then sits on a bed expectantly.

“Did those troglodytes hurt you?” Sebastian snaps. She whips her head around, surprised by his sudden appearance.

“I swear I’ll-“ Sebastian’s treats are cut off by a soft giggle from the girl.

“I thought I heard someone behind me.” Sebastian stuffs the floor with a shoe putting his hands in his pockets.

“I… Well, I was worried that maybe they had said something nasty to you. Never can count on a bully to give a good apology.”

“I don’t know what I have done to earn your protection.” She raises an eyebrow to the freckled face before her.

“I just can’t stand to see a pretty girl cry.” Again Sebastian is given an eyebrow. Before the girl can give her retort the nurse walks in. At the sight of Sebastian standing there the nurse pauses giving the girl a funny look, to which she just shrugs in response.

“And how are we feeling today?” The nurse asks, hovering her wand over the girl as a dim green light is emitted from the tip.

“Fine.” She replies dismissively.

“That bad?” Stopping her work the nurse study’s the girl's face. “How many fits did you have?”

“Five.”

“Goodness me child! You know you are supposed to come and see me the second you have more than three.” Thrusting a vile of a sweet smelling potion into the girl's hands the nurse hurries away.

“I’ll be back.” She calls. As she drinks the liquid, a chill causes her whole body to tense.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian’s worried voice brings her eyes back on him.

“That’s a broad question.” She teases.

“I guess it is.” He rubs the back of his head. The sight is so reminiscent of his own sister trying a slew of potions given to her by a nurse who always wore the same worried expression. At the thought Sebastian begins to feel queasy. He sits on the ground.

“Are you alright?” Now it’s the girls turn to look concerned.

“That’s a broad question.” He mocks her tone. Looking down at her hands the girl seems to say more to herself then Sebastian.

“My second year at Hogwarts. I was in an accident. Had to take a year off to recover.” Sebastian stands again feeling guilty, he knew she had not wanted to be followed here and by the way she is sitting now she still does not want him here.

“I’m sorry.” He stammers as he backs toward the door. “I will give you privacy now.” All of his usual suave demeanor gone, he fumbles with the handle.

“Thank you.” She calls after him. “For your help today. With those jerks and my bag. Thank you.” He nods before disappearing out the door. He needs to find Ominis.

[lyxvija]

heard you wanna ramble about our bug bf huh? GO AHEAD!! make it angsty.... here's my suggestion HUEHEUEHUE im feeling evil.

s/o sees him getting touchy with the twins, its just his nature, but they're jealous, they try to get at him, fail miserably. and when they confront each other He's already in a pissy mood after a long day of work, maybe he yells at them, maybe tries to dismiss them, they're not communicating, throwing accusations at each other.

OR MAYBE! he's gone too long and been too busy at work and can't spend much time with his s/o and so they try to discuss it with him but he's too tired and grumpy to hear it.

OR EVEN THIS!!! The twins or someone get into his head, telling him that s/o only wnats him for his money

I CAN THINK OF SO MUCH SJDJDJEJRJRJR

or maybe even get a lil

freaky

iykwim 👀

ramble to us pookie wookie 🤭🫶🏻 /pos /gen /friendly

i think ill go with being the 🪐 anon just future reference 🫶🏻

Okay powerful magic spaceball floating in the universe Anon...

HEAR ME OUT. I already had a similar scenario like that in mind one month ago and PLANNED to write a one-shot about something like that! >: D If it's okay, I´d like to do that one now. <3You get:

Mammon x Gen! Neutral Reader TAGS: Cheating, kinda break-up, ANGST

Mam and Reader have a fight, Mammon makes a horrible mistake and now has to pay the price.

Edit: I went overboard...accidentally wrote half of a one-shot. XD

So this is part one.. hahahahah

Mammon and you were a thing now. Well, for quite some time. You were overjoyed when the King of Greed seemed to get interested in you. It wasn't easy, not gonna lie, but you two managed. Mammon wasn't the easiest to be around, but somehow, you still loved him regardless. Despite what your friends told you, it felt genuine. Like he really meant it and didn't see you as some kind of arm candy or pet to keep just for fun. Your heart told you that, so you simply ignored everyone's remarks.

Mammon was extremely jealous and possessive. There was hardly any moment when you interacted with somebody else, where he didn't feel the need to step in and show the other that you were his. At home (well his home since the mighty king would never spend any second in your shitty apartment so he just took you with him) he often made nasty remarks of how dude A surely had the hots for you or that gal B was just after you to get closer to him. It was absolutely ridiculous! Every time you told him that this was not true, that you only have eyes for him, even if somebody else WOULD have a crush on you. In some way you even felt flattered that a Deadly Sin would be so protective over an unimportant hellborn like you.

But GOSH, one day he even went wild because you talked to the Glam sister. For real?! Yes, Glitz had been frisky, but hell! They are flirty and cocky with everyone! No matter how much you tried to ensure him that you DID NOT have a thing for them and that they were in no way any danger to you and him, Mammon´s jealousy and anger never seemed to fade.

"Yeah? If ya really aint fallin for their jiggly boobs, why did you smile at them and oh bring them some fucking coffee?! And by the way, I SAW HOW YOU LOOKED AT GLAM´S FAT ASS!!"

You stared at him for a second. "Excuse me??"

"YEAH DUH! I KNOW WHAT I SAW AND DONT LIE TO ME, CAUSE I KNOW YOU ENJOYED IT!"

Again, you stared at him in disbelief. "Wtf? First, I smile at them because I am just being nice to them! Second, where the hell am I supposed to look when they ask me which of their butts are bigger? And third-"

"THEY FUCKING ASKED WHAT?!" Mammon screamed in his demonic voice, steam pouring out of his mouth with every breath. He pinned you against the wall. Eight eyes of glowing green bore down onto you.

You should have been afraid, but couldn't help to feel another thing:

You felt offended.

Baring your in comparison way smaller teeth, you hissed at him. "For hell´s sake! Get your shit together Mammon! Fuking belive me when I tell you that nothing happened!" Your sudden outburst seemed to have startled him. Never had you snapped at him like that.

"Why would you even believe I would do such a thing?! Don't you trust me??"

The big Jester fumbled with his words, but managed to grumble under his breath: "How the fuck am I supposed to know.. I mean-"

"How are you supposed to know? Are you serious?? Gosh! Because I tell you every god damn day! Maybe that´s how!"

Now he just stood there, clenching his fists and facing the floor. His expression sour. "I jus´ don't like sharing you with others... okay?"

Your posture softens and you put your hand on one of his lower arms.

"It´s okay. I know you have difficulties with that, Babe. I am sure we can work this out. Okay?" <3

He was quiet for a few seconds but then answered: "Yeah...but could you please talk less to them? You know... it is making me angry."

You inhaled and held your breath, trying to hold back your frustration. It was obvious it wouldn't be easy with him, but you honestly would expect a bit more from an immortal entity than acting like a damn man-child. A Mam-child. Oh dear...

"No, sorry can not do. I work with them. I have to at least talk to them. Besides, you have to learn to trust me. You can't force me to keep away from people only because you want me to. This is not how it works!"

Mammon huffed, gripped your shoulders and drew your face close to his. "Listen, you little brat, I am really trying here! So cut me some slack and get your cute little ass off and away from them." His voice was low and threatening. This was in no way a suggestion. This was a demand.

"No." you said firmly and looked him deep in the eyes.

"No?" he repeated. Sparks danced around his features. Mammon tried to intimidate you just like he did with all of his employees and servants. But you were no servant. While the tone and his looming presence made your heart race and your knees weak, you still refused to give it. While it was true that you were just a measly hellborn in comparison to a mighty entity like him, but last time you checked you were his lover. His little gold nugget.

"I said no! You cannot tell me what to do and who to stay away from...just like I could never tell you to stay off the Glam sisters. I saw how they try to get in the sheets with you! But do I make a fuss about it? No!"

Mammon started to laugh. "Ya think I can´t tell you what to do? Pleeeaaase. I am your boss AND your king! If I tell you to get me some coffee, you bring me some coffee, If I tell you to hold my golden staff while I take a shit, you better do so and if I tell you to not get anywhere near those slutty cunts, you better do!"

He painfully clenched your cheeks between his thumb and index finger. You stared at him wide-eyed, trying to pry his hand off you.

"Did I make myself clear or do I have to repeat?"

It was the first time you had ever felt afraid of him. With his smirk twisted into a sadistic grin and his green glowing eyes staring down at you, there was no trace of your sweet boyfriend. The intensity of his glare was too much for you to handle

With panic growing inside your chest, you yelled at him. "Let me go! NOW!"

"As you wish." Mammon released you at once, making you fall down to the floor.

You rubbed your behind and looked up at him. Tears started to well in your eyes. His words and the way he treated you, shocked you.

Mammon huffed offended and frowned. "Tsk! Come on! Now that didn't hurt."

"You... You can't treat me like this! You are my boyfriend, remember? You can´t treat me like some sort of...like.." you stuttered, holding back your tears. What hurt the most the disinterested look he gave you. How he dismissed your feelings. Somehow it scared you even more that he didn't even give a shit of the effect he had on you right now.

"Now listen here, cunt! I can do whatever I want and with whoever I want! What do you think? That you have some kind of power over me? is that what you´re thinking? Is that what gets you off?? Hah! is that why you spend your fucking breaks with these other vermin instead of coming to my office? Oh yeah! You must feel so fucking powerful making ol´ Mammon pissed-"

"THAT IS NOT TRUE! THAT IS NOT TRUE!" You shouted, tears still streaming down your cheeks. You were disturbed of the absolute paranoia, the things he told himself, the way he thought about you. It was like someone put a knife in your heart and stirred it.

"LIKE I GIVE A BLOODY SHIT OF WHAT YOU THINK!! YOU THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING NOW, DONTCHA?! THAT YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME? THAT YOU CAN DO WITH ME WHATEVER YA WANT JUST BECAUSE WE SHARE A BED AND YOU SUCK MY DICK?? BUT GUESS WHAT! I CAN DO WHAT I WANT AND YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT SHOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU GOT!!"

Your heart almost stopped hearing insult after insult. He was out of his mind. You couldn't even comprehend what he was saying. What is happening here?! How did things escalate so quickly??

"Okay... I am going home.. and you.. you.. calm down." You tried so hard to sound steady but failed miserably. Your sobbing kept on interrupting. "W-We talk.. tomorrow."

With that, you turned around and left. You didn't even try to hide your pathetic crying.

[kpopsfic]

oblivious ꩜ eric sohn

pairing: eric sohn x gender neutral reader

genre: high school au, best friends to lovers, fluff, angst

warnings: cursing, a kind of dumb and very oblivious reader, cheating (idk if this is a warning but oh well lol), hyunjae is depicted as a pos

word count: 2.3k

written by: tiff

description: you’re constantly dating people who don’t treat you well and eric is always by your side, even if you’re a dumbass.

a/n: i wrote this sooo long ago and i apologize if there’s any inaccuracies or plot holes. i just wanted to post something about eric since deobis have been missing him a lot lately. hope you enjoy!

i.

You always considered yourself fortunate to have Eric Sohn in your life. From the moment the two of you were born, you were pretty much inseparable. He had been there for you through everything that had ever happened to you in life, and you were there for him the same way.

From the first day of kindergarten to the awkward puberty phase of middle school up until now, where you were about to graduate high school and were finalizing what colleges you wanted to attend in the fall. You were always so grateful for him, especially in the times you needed him.

Especially now as you shakily dialed his number, holding your phone up to your ear and covering your mouth in an attempt to stifle the sob that threatened to slip past your lips. However, the moment you heard his voice sleepily mutter a quiet “what’s up?” guilt weighed down your entire body.

“Did i wake you?” you asked, trying your absolute hardest to keep your voice even. but, he knew you better than anyone on the planet, and instantly knew something was wrong.

“Y/N, talk to me, tell me what’s wrong,” his voice was laden with concern, “and don’t try to tell me nothing because I know you’d be lying.”

You chuckled, ironically, sniffling a bit as you finally said, “I think Hyunjae cheated on me.”

A heavy silence filled the other end of the line. You knew Eric had ill feelings toward him the moment you introduced the two, but you stayed with him despite all of Eric’s warnings. You wouldn’t be surprised if your best friend immediately started in on the “I told you so” and “you should have listened to me,” but instead, he abruptly ended the call. you instantly started texting him.

𝗬𝗢𝗨: eric for the love of god please don’t go to his house

𝗬𝗢𝗨: if you do i will never forgive you

𝗬𝗢𝗨: i mean it

Despite all of your texting, he never replied to any of your messages. You sighed in defeat, flopping back onto your bed with fresh tears streaming down your face. You couldn’t help but stare at the video of your boyfriend - if you could even call him that at this point - kissing someone who was definitely not you.

How could you be so stupid? How could you not listen to the one person you trusted the most in this world? If you had, you wouldn’t be in the position you are now. You wouldn’t be feeling so heartbroken. You couldn’t help but text Eric again in hopes he would reply to you soon.

𝗬𝗢𝗨: i’m sorry for not listening to you

𝗬𝗢𝗨: i knew there was a chance of this happening and still got into a relationship with him anyway

𝗬𝗢𝗨: and then woke you up only to more than likely annoy you

𝗬𝗢𝗨: just…. please don’t bring harm to him, i’m afraid he’ll do something worse to you too.

You tossed your phone to the side, covering your face with your hands and letting a quiet, muffled sob rumble in your chest. You were too absorbed in your own thoughts to even hear the loud footsteps in the hallway or your door barging open. You only took notice when a weight was sinking down on the other side of your bed and a pair of arms were pulling you into their chest.

“What are you crying for, dummy?” upon hearing his voice in your ear, your practically melted into him, your tears soaking into the fabric on his shoulder.

He pulled you closer, squeezing your frame tightly against his own with a sad sigh. He hated seeing you like this, especially over a boy who didn’t give you the time of day to begin with. He just wished you weren’t so oblivious about what he felt for you.

Oblivious to how he could treat you so much better.

Finally, you pulled away and look up at him, wiping underneath of your eyes with a quiet sniffle, “I can’t talk about it here, I don’t want my parents to hear.”

“Let’s go out for a drive then,” Eric stated.

“Dude, it’s 11:00 on a school night, there’s no way they will let me leave,” you replied, half-heartedly gesturing to your desk, “besides, I have work I have to do.”

“Y/N.”

“What?”

“Do you really think you’re gonna do your homework in the state you’re in right now? Because I don’t,” he countered, his eyebrow raised slightly as if to question you.

You shrugged at his words, “even if you’re right, my parents still won’t let me leave.”

Eric clapped his hand onto your shoulder, a sly grin stretching across his thin lips, “that’s why we sneak out, idiot. When I came in I told them I was bringing you a textbook you left at my house. When I leave, just climb out your window and meet me at my car.”

He didn’t really give you much of a chance to answer before he was practically vaulting himself off of his bed and out of your room, closing the door tightly behind him. You sighed, shaking your head.

If you got caught, he was taking the blame.

ii.

Once you were finally far enough away from your house to stop worrying, you relaxed into the passenger seat of Eric’s car and willed yourself not to start full blown crying again. He was the first to break the silence.

“How did you find out?”

You stared down at your lap, messing with a loose string at the end of one of your hoodie sleeves, “he went to a party with Kevin and Sangyeon. Apparently Chanhee as there too because he was the one who sent me the video.”

Eric’s grip on the steering wheel tightened and you could visibly see his jaw clench at your words, “they had the audacity to send you a video of it?”

You nodded, “at the end Hyunjae realized what was happened and practically begged Chanhee to turn off the camera. He said something along the lines of if I found out, I wasn’t going to let him live it down.”

After that, you continued to rant, allowing everything to be said into the open and lift the weight off your shoulders. Throughout all of it, Eric kept his eyes on the road but his ears open, listening to everything you had to say. He wanted you to feel like your feelings mattered and that he would always be by your side, no matter what.

Because he always would be, even if it broke his heart.

iii.

Despite the breakdown you had over Hyunjae, you still decided to give him a second chance. You talked with him and told him the next time anything of the sort happened, the two of you were done for good. Needless to say, Eric was more than pissed.

The moment he saw you walking hand in hand with the same man that cheated on you in the hallway, he saw red. You had only caught a glimpse of your best friend before he was storming out of the double doors, leaving school entirely.

Once fully settled in his car, he hit his hands roughly against the steering wheel, frustrated tears gliding down his face almost effortlessly at this point. When were you going to learn that you deserved better? When were you going to learn that when someone cheats once, they almost always do it again? When were you going to actually give a damn about yourself?

When were you going to acknowledge him?

As if on a queue, his phone chimed to several messages from you, ones of which expressed your concern as to why he was leaving school.

𝗬𝗢𝗨: are you okay?

𝗬𝗢𝗨: do you feel sick?

𝗬𝗢𝗨: do you want me to come with you?

𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: i’m fine. just didn’t feel up to being here today.

𝗬𝗢𝗨: do you want company?

𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: no, it’s okay. i just need to clear my head. besides, you have a test today.

𝗬𝗢𝗨: okay… be safe wherever you go today.

𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: i will.

𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: y/n?

𝗬𝗢𝗨: what?

𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗖: keep your guards up this time. i know for a fact he won’t hesitate to hurt you again.

iv.

You really wished that Eric’s advice would stop being right.

Here you were, once again, feeling your heart shatter into a million pieces. All because Lee Hyunjae didn’t know how to keep his hands to himself when he was around other people that weren’t you.

After receiving a plethora of unledgible texts from you, he was able to only make out that you needed to skip school and wanted him to come with you. He didn’t mind the skipping, really, because he hated school anyway so it was never an issue.

However, what he didn’t expect was to find you stumbling out of the bathroom with tear stained cheeks a puffy eyes. He didn’t even need to hear you say what happened before he already knew your current state was because of Hyunjae. Sighing, he grabbed your arm and practically drug you out to his car.

Once the both of you were inside, he began driving out to the spot you always went to whenever you wanted to skip class because you knew nobody would ever find you there; the creek.

The drive there was painfully silently, the car only filled with your cries and sniffles every once in a while. You could sense that Eric was fuming next to you, and you didn’t dare speak until he asked you to explain what happened this time. Within minutes you were parked in your spot, sitting at the edge of the creek with your legs drawn up to your chest. Eric studied you for a moment before he finally decided to start talking.

“Why do you always settle for the people who you know will find some way to break you?” his tone was slightly bitter as he spoke, “why do you always settle for scum?”

You were taken aback by his questions, “I- what? since when has anyone other than Hyunjae been scum? Please, enlighten me, Eric.”

“Hmm let’s see… Juyeon put you down every chance he could get, Younghoon never cared about your opinion or what you had to say, and Hyunjae cheated on you, and with every single one I told you they were gonna treat you horribly. Do I really need to continue?” he didn’t hesitate to spit out a list to you, and you felt anger beginning to bubble up in your stomach.

“Since when do you get to decide who I should and shouldn’t date?” you fired back.

“I never said that, Y/N, but I told you before all three of those relationships that you should seriously take into account how their last ones ended. I was right about them all, especially Hyunjae, and you still went back to him anyway.”

You scoffed, staring out ahead of you, “I cannot believe you just said that to me. As a best friend you’re supposed to comfort me now and tell me later that I was an idiot and needed to do better.”

Eric rose to his feet, and started to pace back and fourth along the bank of the creek. He was fuming, and you knew it. You followed suit, standing up to start walking in the opposite direction of him before his words stopped you.

“I just want to know why you gave him a second chance after he broke you so badly the first time.”

You sighed, “I don’t know, Eric. I guess I just enjoy the feeling of someone loving me even if it’s twisted.”

“You deserve someone who truly loves you.”

You laughed sadly, stating, “well in case you haven’t noticed, nobody in my life seems to love me like that.”

Something within Eric seemed to snap, and the next thing you knew, his voice was echoing throughout the woods surrounding the creek, “I do!”

“What?” the tone of surprise was evident in your voice, “Eric, what are y-“

“I love you, okay? I have loved you from the beginning of our high school career all the way up until now. I have loved you even when you were at the lowest points in your life. I’ve loved you even when you were dating those shitty people,” he yelled, “and it has broken my fucking heart every time I have to see you get walked all over and every time you’re completely oblivious to me.”

He began to walk closer to you, standing only a few feet away from you now, his chest heaving and pain dancing effortlessly in his eyes, “I love you, Y/N, why can’t you see that?”

A small silence fell between the two of you before you quietly said, “I’ve been oblivious to you because I’m afraid of losing the one person I have ever truly cared about on this earth. If we were to ever date and break up, I really don’t think I could handle it.”

“You’re not gonna lose me,” eric’s voice cracked, but you could tell how genuine his words were, “even if you don’t feel the same, I’m content with loving you without it being returned. At least this way I can still have you in my life.”

Without any hesitation, you closed the distance between the two of you and pressed your lips against his own, taking the taller boy by surprise before he finally melted into you, his hands cupping your face gently. You pulled away, looking into his eyes before saying, “a part of me has loved you this whole time too, I’ve just been too afraid to admit to myself, let alone you.”

Eric only kissed you again, this time with the reassurance that you would never lose him, that he would never treat you the way any of the other people did. Somehow, you knew everything was going to be okay.

It always was when you were with him.

[xtrafluffyteddy]

OKAY I KNOW YOU’RE GETTING TIRED OF ME, I WAS THE ONE WHO REQUESTED THAT BILLY X STEVE X EDDIE X CURSED! READER (but I just changed my name)

I was wondering, if you could do a Steve x Eddie x fem!reader where she’s like eleven and she’s remote-traveling.

SO, HERES WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

The reader is in a big pool of water and she’s in the void, trying to find Vecna and she’s struggling to fight against him.

But the reader heart stops beating for a moment, LONGER than a moment and Steve and Eddie think she died.

I JUST LOVE WHEN YOU WRITE, THIS WAS JUST A THOUGHT THOUGH AND I KNOW THIS IS HORRIBLE.

(Also can the reader’s hair be shaved? :] that’s if you want!)

Never ever feel bad about having ideas chicken noodle I love your ideas and this one is the bomb dot com

Pairing: steddie x reader

Mentions: violence, temporary death, happy ending.

You had just escaped from the lab a second time and knew you had to protect the kids as well as your boyfriend from the newest enemy Vecna. You had gotten glimpses of him in past traveling but now you’d be fighting him to save your friends and your family.

“You don’t have to do this!” Steve pleads “we can handle it” he takes your hands his shaking as the kids prepare the salt bath “not in the way it needs to be handled Stevie I won’t have you or Eddie or one of the kids die not to Vecna not in the upside down” you press a soft kiss to his lips caressing his cheeks “just trust me” you look at Eddie who was worrying his lip “I’ll be okay I’m stronger than you think” you gently kiss Eddie as well as they help you into the salt bath.

“We’ll be right here right beside you” Eddie reassures as they help you lay down slipping your blindfold on “I’ll be okay” you reassure them as you close your eyes and sink into the upside down. Eddie gently pets your shaved head missing your old hair but finding this new style kind of cool while Steve squeezes your hand a worried look on his face.

“VECNA” you call out from the darkness bare feet splashing on the water “PETER!” You call again “HENRY I know your here!” You yell voice echoing over the vast emptiness.

Suddenly your in Vecnas hellscape staring at the broken remnants of the creel house and the destroyed bodies of your old friends “COME FACE ME YOU COWARD” you yell as you see him coming towards you in the distance

You use your powers to lift him into the air the familiar coppery smell filling up your senses as your nose starts bleeding “ILL KILL YOU” you scream as you throw him hard against the floating remains of his house.

In the outer world your body begins to shake in the tub causing Eddie and Steve to look at each other with worry before the take your hands pleading for you to keep fighting and that your stronger than he is.

Faintly you can hear your boyfriends voices echoing in your mind as your pinned against a pillar vines wrapping around your neck and arms “you bitch about everyone doing the same day to day henry” you choke out glaring as comes closer “but your just the fucking same” you exhaust your powers moving you both in your turf the void where you hoped you had the upper hand.

“Cmon henry” you growl as you charge at him using your powers to slam him to the ground “your nothin but a coward, a bully” you taunt angering him more as gets up “you think your powerful because you “rule” the upside down news flash Henry your just another fuckin puppet” you spit out blood as you grow weak your powers becoming weaker every time he attacks.

“She’s not breathing!” Eddie cries as he shakes you in the tub “fuck fuck we can’t take her out yet he’ll kill her if we do!” Steve shouts as he tries to keep Eddie from pulling you out “hell kill her if we don’t!” Eddie screams as pulls you out of the bath laying you on the cold floor of the gym “breathe damn it” Steve pushes him out of the way as he begins doing chest compressions .

“I won’t let you hurt my friends” you growl weakly taking a deep breath as you use your happy memories to strengthen what little power you have left screaming in agony as you watch him disappeared into flake and particles, before you collapse into a heap on the void floor.

“Stay with us!” Eddie pleads as tears roll down his cheeks “stay with us!” Steve repeats as he continues doing chest compressions feeling hopelessness seep into his bones “the gates are closing she did it!” Dustin screams over the walkie talkie cheering being heard in the background.

“Eddie-“ you call out weakly from the void as your vision becomes fuzzy around the edges “Steve” you begin crawling towards them and your physical body collapsing every once a while from the pain you can hear them crying and pleading for you to come back.

Eddie lays his head on your chest as Steve stops doing chest compressions both of them sobbing thinking they you were gone for good. Suddenly you gasp eyes flying open as you catch your breath only eye milky white “what’re you two cryin about” you joke raspily reaching up with a weak hand to wipe their tears “told you i won’t let him get me” you wince as they both pull you into a tight hug “we did it-“ they say in unison “it’s over you defeated Vecna” Steve presses a tender kiss to your lips followed by Eddie “your a hero” Eddie sniffs kissing your cheek over and over “our hero” Steve finishes both of them clinging to you even after the kids arrive.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

One of Jake’s rescues becoming ill, but managing to keep their condition to themself by mostly sticking to their room. Until their fever spikes, and half the safehouse witnesses them collapse when on their way to the kitchen for water.

CW: Sickfic, feverish whumpee, sick whumpee, memory loss, BBU, past pet whump referenced, caretaker and whumpee

This is for @vickytokio who has been so patient in waiting for this moment.

-

There is a hand at his elbow, and he shakes it off, shifting to press his back to the wall. It's cool, cold enough to make him shiver, and his shirt sticks to the sweat on his lower back as he tips his head back.

"Eli?" Antoni leans over him, eyebrows furrowed in a slight, soft concern.

Better him than anyone else, Eli thinks.

"I'm fine," Eli says, voice low. The music of his natural singsong, the softest hint of an accent from the mystery of his birth, is buried beneath a hoarse, husky overlay. His throat aches, stabbing sharp pains with every swallow, making him wince. "Just thirsty."

Antoni’s lips thin, and there’s a tension to him. Eli’s eyes roam slowly over the lines of his shoulder beneath the heavy sweater he wears, linger on the single ancient round scar on one side of his neck. “You are sick,” He says, softly. “I know sick.”

“Oh, do you.” Eli pushes himself to his feet, using the wall for balance, and when Antoni wordlessly offers a hand he pulls away from it, moving further down the hall towards the kitchen.

He wishes he didn’t have to shuffle not to feel like he’ll fall over. It doesn’t help him seem as fine as he’d like.

“You should… you should rest,” Antoni says, a little helplessly, as he shadows Eli down the hallway. Eli sets his jaw and ignores him. The rough touch of the hallway along his fingertips hurts. His skin feels stretched over empty air inside him, and he shivers at something like a breeze.

“I want a drink of water,” He says. He can’t keep his voice low enough to disguise the roughness of it. There’s a pressure above and beneath his eyes, throbbing as it pushes against the bone beneath. He has to squint against the ache of the light. “I’ll lay down after that, An-... Antoni.”

“Please,” Antoni says, and there’s something tentative and nearly tremulous in his own voice. “Pozhaluysta, Eli, let me help you.”

Eli pauses, and the corner of his mouth twitches, the faintest, faded hint of a smile. “Mne ne nuzhna tvoya pomoshch', Antoni.”

He risks the dizziness to turn, just so he can see the look of shock on the other man’s face. “You-... you-... ty govorish' po-russki?”

“Da.” Eli laughs, raspy and barely-there, and wanders into the kitchen. It feels like it’s taken weeks, months, ages just to walk from his room in the back into here. Sunlight streams in from outside, and he shudders against the stabbing pain of a memory of a warmer sun in a hotter place, of a different kind of hand pressed to his forehead. A whisper of a woman’s voice, Asahaay bachcha. Ab so jao, Jairaj.

Her eyes and skin and hair were all so dark, blocking out the hated, hurtful sun when he burned, warm as a blanket when he froze. Warm hands on cold skin, cool palm to sweating forehead or the back of his neck.

He tries to forget it as quickly as he can, to let her voice slip back and away. He can’t take the migraine that comes with memories, on top of all his other hurts. The bones of his very thighs ache as he makes his shuffling way to the fridge, opening it up.

“Since-... since when do you-”

“My master,” Eli says, pulling out a bottle of vaguely-gray-blue Gatorade, twisting off the top and drinking the cool, sweet liquid until it runs out of either side of his mouth. “Loved opera. We went to the Bolshoi at least once a year, the two of us. He had friends who were Russian. I learned to pass the time. There was…” He hesitates, staring at the Gatorade. Somehow, half of it is already gone. “There was so much time.”

Antoni is quiet, but he moves to the side, setting the kettle on the stove full of water to boil, pulling down two mugs. Eli watches him with hazy eyes as he opens two different boxes of tea, the elaichithat Eli prefers, heavy and sweet with cardamom and ginger, his own strong black tea. “The day gets away from you,” Antoni says without looking at him.

Eli considers escaping back to his room from this… this moment that comes between them, uncomfortable intimacy.

Instead, he turns and leans against the fridge, lets the cold of it soothe the burn of his skin right through his shirt. “There are too many days,” He says, wiping at his mouth, looking down to find drips of Gatorade soaked into his shirt. Oh, well. It can join the sweat, can’t it? “Especially after my bonded was gone-... after I came back to my master. What else did I have to do, but learn while locked into my master’s bedroom?”

“Your bonded must miss you,” Antoni says, quietly. He stays on the other side of the room the span of the table and chairs between them, and Eli could cry with gratitude at the air Antoni gives him to breathe, so unlike the suffocating concern of therapists and doctors and Jakob Stanton.

“I assume he is dead,” Eli says, voice flat. “We don’t live long, away from each other. Everyone knows that.”

“But you are here,” Antoni counters, voice gentle. “You are still here, Eli.”

Eli raises his chin, jaw set, dark eyes flashing beneath the fog of his fever. “I am stronger than others.”

“Stronger than your bonded?”

His heart flutters, deep down, beneath the solid breastplate of bone where it is carefully shielded. He can withstand the blows.

“He was never the same kind of strong as I. Why are you making me tea?”

Antoni doesn’t answer at first, turning away to pull down honey in a little plastic jar shaped like a bear, tipping it upside down to add the cloying syrup first to Eli’s mug, then his own. Without looking back, he says quietly, “How else will you allow me to show you that we care if you are ill?”

“I don’t get sick,” Eli says, but he knows his appearance - pale, clammy, with the deep circles beneath his eyes - gives away his lie. “Good pets don’t-”

“We are neither of us very good pets,” Antoni says, and he smiles over his shoulder. Eli can’t help but return it, somehow.

He must be sicker than he thought.

“This is true. But I have always kept to myself, Antoni. I do not intend to stop now-”

“What was your bonded’s name?”

Eli stiffens all over again. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because… because…” The water in the kettle is starting to make a soft sound, as bubbles form on the bottom and break the surface. Not quite boiling, but close. “Because I think everyone should be remembered, this is all. I think we all of us deserve our names, and to be thought of.”

“I never stop thinking about him.” Eli looks down at his fingernails, still carefully filed and trimmed and cared for. “They don’t know what they’ve done to us, when they make us bonded. That it doesn’t stop, that you can’t turn it off. They don’t know what they’ve done-”

“Yes, they do.” The whistle of the kettle starts up, soft as a song, and Antoni pulls it off the stove immediately, pouring the steaming clear water into the mugs, one by one. There’s a silence, as he does it, the strong smell of cardamom rising in the air almost immediately. “They know exactly what they have done.”

“Yes.” Eli sighs heavily, and finally allows himself to sit at a chair at the kitchen table. His legs are nearly weak with relief, and he finds himself resting his forehead on his arms, slumped. Some part of him screams to straighten his posture, keep his chin up, smile warmly when he’s looked at, be seen and not heard, no one cares about his thoughts, recite the words he’s learning in his mind while they talk around and over him. After all, he’s just there to decorate.

Just there to be his master’s exotic trophy, as lifeless as the head of a lion on the wall.

But he’s not there any longer.

“I found him once, I was able-... able to send a package. But then he was gone again, the house was empty. I don’t know where he went. If he hurts as much as I do at not having each other… maybe he is dead.”

“I am sorry,” Antoni says, softly.

“Ne izvinyaysya.”

“‘Do not be sorry,’” Antoni echoes, opening the fridge. “I could hardly understand that one.”

“Well, I am sick, aren’t I? You can’t blame me for screwing up the emphasis.”

Antoni laughs. There’s an odd warmth in Eli at the sound. “That is fair.”

“In any case… Nine,” Eli says, muffled by the dark soothing prison of his own arms. “His name is-... it was Nine.”

There’s a thunk, the gurgle of liquid pouring out, and Eli looks up from his arms to see Antoni staring at him as milk pours onto the kitchen floor from the half-gallon tipped onto his side at his feet. “Did you say Nine?”

“My master never gave him a name,” Eli says, confused. He stumbles to his feet to grab at a towel, which seems to break Antoni from his strange trance, as he jerks back into motion and picks up the milk, splashing it into the cups before stashing it back in the fridge, nearly empty now.

He drops to a crouch to help Eli clean up the spreading pale liquid, shaking his head. “Eli-”

“I think I did not smile, after we were found,” Eli says, looking at the soaked-through towel, a pale cream with blue stripes. It’s spotted with old stains that never came out in the wash. His master would demand the towel be replaced when the first stain stuck, but here everything is kept until it is threadbare. “What did I have to smile about? Do you see?”

“I-”

“What will I ever have to smile about again?” Eli chuckles, then winces as his throat punishes him for even a hint of cynical, unhappy humor. “This is more than you have heard me speak ever before, I guess. He does that to me. Thinking about-... he could always get me talking when nothing else could. Even if he’s gone… even if he’s gone, he’s still here.”

Antoni is quiet, and then shifts to his feet. He drops a damp towel into the sink. “Eli, he is not gone.”

“No, I know. Memory is-”

“He was good with devices,” Antoni says, suddenly. “Was he not? Good at looking at a phone, a computer, and knowing how it would work inside? Good at knowing how to use them?”

“What? No, we were never allowed to touch anything like that.” Eli pauses. His brain feels too full of fog and his eyes ache too much to fully understand what Antoni is saying. The smell of cardamom is stronger, and it seeps into his mind, brings back to his thoughts the shadowy woman, the scent of her own teas steeping, the steaming samosas on the table, the way she would bring home mangos when he was sad without him having to ask, piling them high and watching as he demolished them-

The pain rises, and he puts his hands over his face, trying to force her back down again, but she doesn’t want to go. Her lips thinned with disappointment, her soft subtle proud smile when she didn’t think he would see it. She loved him in the things she did, not the things she said.

He has a sense of them both covered in color, vibrant as paint, a small boy in a woman’s arms.

His master never wanted him to wear colors at all.

His master talked about adoration but it was only in his words, and his actions were always suffocating and buried Eli, alone.

“I think I know your Nine,” Antoni says, a hand at Eli’s back. It hovers, not quite touching, but Eli can feel the weight of it even so, feel the pressure of the near-contact. He swallows the lump in his throat, pushes past how it hurts.

“My Nine,” He says, a breath. A sigh and nothing more. He doesn’t want to believe it, and so he doesn’t. It’s as simple as that. “It was years ago, Antoni. I was taken back to my master. I was alone for years, and the days were… so long. I’m sure you’ve met people like him. There are so many of us, there must be others who feel like me.”

“No, Eli. Nyet, listen to me, I know your Nine. He is hiding in a place north of the city, he is-... he is-... he helps us all now. Your Nine, I know it must be yours, he told me once he knew what it means to lose, and he asked if I had a bonded, then. I did not understand that he meant he had one.”

Eli’s body is frozen, torn with equal strength between denying it - he cannot grieve Nine all over again, his heart won’t withstand the pain of the loss, if it isn’t him Eli may lose his mind this time - and wanting to ask.

He settles on the question.

“What does he look like?”

“This Nine that I know is tall, but he slouches. His hair is brown-”

“Everyone’s hair is brown,” Eli says, acid-laced, his eyes closing at the memory of Nine and his wide bright smile, slouching in the heavy oversized sweats he wore day-in and day-out in shades of beige or gray, compared to Eli’s perfectly tailored suits and silk pajama sets. “It is a common color of hair and it means nothing-”

“He wears a brace when he works,” Antoni says, “and he is telling me once it is because his arm was broken so many times by his master that it never healed right in the end. He has scars-”

“Stop,” Eli says, and the heels of his hands push into his closed eyes, sparking bright colors behind the darkness of his eyelids. “Do not say-”

“His bonded loved stained glass, he tells me, one day we are working together. His bonded loved color but could not have any of his own, his bonded had dark eyes and dark hair, his bonded would sing sometimes in-”

“Hindi,” Eli cuts him off, and his voice sounds strangled. Hands around his throat that are nothing but memories of those bare moments of happiness they had together, lying on his master’s bed whiling away the day, teaching his bonded the songs he couldn’t forget, child rhymes from a home he couldn’t remember. "I like to sing in Hindi."

“Da,” Antoni breathes, and Eli opens his eyes to find Antoni setting the mug down in front of him, milky and pale brown, looking at him with his deep brown eyes, an urgent expression.

“Chto, yesli eto ne on?” It seems safer to ask in a language that isn’t his in any way.

“It is him,” Antoni whispers, and puts his cool hands over Eli’s. To be touched directly by Antoni is so rare that it occurs to Eli he has never seen Antoni touch anyone first, only react to be touched by others. But now, he puts his hands on Eli’s, and his fingers are cold but they warm to Eli’s skin quickly.

The sleeve of his sweater pulls back at the motion, and Eli seems circle-scars along the inside of his wrist, disappearing up inside his sleeve. When his eyes raise, he can see more through the shadowed neckline of Antoni’s shirt, traveling down his collarbone until the shadows overtake them.

“Eli, I am sure it is him.”

“If it isn’t, I won’t survive it,” Eli admits, voice cracking, his smooth soft singsong shattering beneath the insistence. “I won’t. I can’t lose him again, even if it is only a dream of him, I cannot lose him again-”

“But what if you find him, instead?” Antoni meets his gaze, his messy dark hair falling over his own eyes in contrast to how neatly short Eli keeps his. There is an uncertain, hopeful smile on his face. “Will you survive that?”

“I might.” Eli is whispering, now. “I might. But-”

“Then I will call him.” Antoni pulls out his cell phone, and Eli exhales, closing his eyes. He’s too sick to say no to hope, when he has kept himself safe by doing exactly that, over and over again, ever since he lost Nine in the first place.

The ring of the phone is audible, just barely, against Antoni’s ear.

Nothing will come of it.

Nothing has ever come of his hopes-

“I know I am waking you,” Antoni says, cutting off whoever is speaking on the other end. “I know.”

Eli looks to the clock over the oven, and it reads 11:34. Nine always could stay up all night and sleep the day away, if allowed to.

He fights the way his heart starts to flutter, as if trying to escape how tightly he has caged it under the stone of his skeleton to keep it safe. It isn’t him, he tells himself, desperate not to feel the tearing, screaming grief he has felt once before. It isn’t him, it isn’t him, it isn’t him.

“Just bear with me. I will put you on speaker.” Antoni sets the phone down in front of Eli on the table. “Say hello to one of our residents.”

There’s a pause. Then, tired and hazy, a familiar voice. A little deeper, with time, but still… familiar. “Hello? Is there a reason I’m saying hello to-”

“Nine,” Eli breathes, his fingers twitching towards the phone and stopping themselves. His vision blurs, and it takes him a few seconds to realize it’s because he can’t see through his tears. “Nine. Nine, my Nine, my Nine, it’s me.”

There’s a silence, and then a thunk, and a curse comes through the phone. Eli puts his hands over his mouth to hide the way he wants to laugh, high and crazy, because he knows exactly what happened.

“You fell out of bed, didn’t you?”

“I sleep on a mattress on the floor, but I managed to fall out of that anyway,” comes the voice on the other end. “I always-... is this really Eli?”

“It’s me,” He manages. “Did you g-... did you get my gift when I sent it-”

“Yes. Don’t leave that fucking house, I’m coming to you.” He can hear Nine moving, shuffling and rustling through the speakerphone, the jingle of keys. “Don’t you dare leave, don’t you dare, it’s going to take me like five hours to get to you, don’t you fucking leave-”

“I w-won’t, I’ll be right here, Nine, I’m right h-here-” He lets out a single, uncontrolled sob before he tightens himself, before he forces the emotion as deep down as he can force it to go.

“I’ve been keeping that stained glass in the window of my last four houses,” Nine says, breathless. Eli closes his eyes and imagines his bonded running down the stairs of some house somewhere, the focus on his face.

How has his face changed? Has it? Or will he look just the same?

“I couldn’t find you again,” He says, voice shaking still. Cautiously - he allows his heart to beat fast. He lets the cage of his emotions crack, just the slightest bit, open. Lets himself breathe. “You should know, I am very sick-”

“Let me guess, you’re telling all of them you’re fine and you can handle it and do it all yourself, like always.”

Eli laughs, startled into the freedom of the sound. “Yes.”

“Good to know I still know you as well as I used to.”

“We always knew each other best,” Eli says, and then his voice dips, and he leans forward to whisper. “I missed you so much.”

“I thought of you every day, Eli. Every damn day. I’ve been looking for you, every single day.”

“Well… here I am.”

“Don’t hang up the phone.” Eli hears Nine’s ignition start, the rumble of some ancient car. “Please. Please just keep talking to me, I’m afraid if you hang up I’ll wake up and this was just dreaming about you again.”

“Do you dream about me?”

“Always. Do you remember how we used to sing?”

“Yes.”

Antoni taps the back of Eli’s hand, lightly. His smile is wide, and there is a shimmer in his own eyes, too. “Take my phone to your room with your tea,” He offers. “I will bring you the charger.”

“Thank you,” Eli says, and he doesn’t just mean about the phone.

Antoni only turns away, leaving to head for his own room. Eli stands, balancing phone in one hand and mug in the other, moving slowly down the hall. Nine starts to talk to him about where he’s staying now, and Eli lets the familiarity of that voice wash over him. The empty spot they made inside of him during training starts to refill.

His bonded, after all, always meant far more to him than any master he was meant to love.

They didn’t know what they had done, when they came up with bonded pairs. They didn’t just give Eli a built-in nursemaid, companion, or servant. They didn’t make him a weakness.

They gave him a way to break through the love he was supposed to feel and remember what actual love felt like. They gave him the first steps towards escape, they made it so they couldn’t paint over the person he is with someone else he was supposed to be. Not entirely.

He showed through, an oil painting with a second one hidden just beneath the first.

Nine made it out earlier, but the love of Nine had led Eli here anyway.

“I can’t wait to see you again,” Nine says as Eli drops onto his bed, closing his eyes, letting the phone rest warm just beneath his collarbone.

Over his heart.

His fever burns, but the knowledge that Nine is coming burns brighter.

-

@whumptywhumpdump @finder-of-rings @also-finder-of-rings @burtlederp @astrobly @newandfiguringitout @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @boxboysandotherwhump @oops-its-whump @cubeswhump @whump-tr0pes @downriver914 @orchidscript @whumpiary @wildfaewhump @nonsensical-whump @outofangband @eatyourdamnpears @cassicuterat @raigash @crystalrainwing

[notahorseindisguise]

HELLO????? /SO POS

god i loved that btw. i owe you my life

(this ask is about my creepy eldritch horror story)

fun fact, that really was not a work of fiction. like, if it were i would happily admit it and take credit for being that creative *consciously*, but nope that was all my subconscious in my dreams when i was a child.

i had some really weird dreams when i was a kid, some of the scarier ones are just so impossible to put into words, to describe. i cant even picture them now.

one of them, i remember, was a huge maze. a maze of an impossible, cosmic scale. there was no sky. i dont mean it was covered, or that it was black, or white, or grey, or anything, i mean literally nothing was up. i didnt look up much. it hurt my eyes.

like most dreams, these ones didnt really have a beginning, or an end. i would just fall asleep, then open my eyes, and i was trapped. the sheer size making me feel insignificant.

i would go throw this huge maze. for whatever reason, the maze felt like it should've been really short. like, yeah, its big, but surely i can just walk through it in like. a couple hours at most, right?

i had no sense of time in there, but i know i spent years in the maze. time moved differently in that dream. obviously i would wake up and only a couple hours passed, but i know i spent years in there. at least 3 or 4 years every night, going down the wrong paths, backtracking, getting lost... i never got hungry, never got sick, never got tired; just got more and more insignificant, dwarfed by those huge walls.

most nights i was all alone. a couple times i found someone else, but then they would vanish. it happened in different ways each time. one time i found someone, i sat with her, and talked to her for a bit, before... i dont know how to explain it. but i stood up, turned around, and walked away. every part of my body screamed to go back, but i couldnt turn around, despite how lucid these dreams normally were.

id been alone in there for years it felt, and i had finally found someone else, and i just walked around 20 paces away. and then there was a noise, like something cutting through wind, and then i had control over myself again. turning around, the person was gone, and no trace of her ever existing was left. they all disappeared in different ways - one time i blinked and they were gone, one time i was walking up before i sort of, for want of a better word, "glitched" backwards a couple metres, and they were gone - but each time three things were the same.

there was this loss of control, where i couldnt move for myself

there was a rush of wind, not one i felt, but one i heard, like a thrown frisbee or something, that went as quickly as it came

i never saw what happened to them.

i aged in these dreams. it was the imagination of a child, so i dont think i aged like a normal person would age, but each painfully long night i would age a couple of years, getting older, stronger, more adjusted to the maze.

this dream, i dont know if im doing it justice, because it is so difficult to remember. i just remember the feeling of insignificance in the face of the huge maze.

im gonna try to stop explaining the scenery of the dream, and finish up this story with how the recurring dream finished up for me.

i was old. i don't know how old, but i know moving was a torture in and of itself. and this night, everything was different. i kept going, i kept pushing through the maze. i rounded a corner, and saw freedom. i saw my freedom. i started to run as fast as i could towards it, keeping close to the wall for support. lucky i did that because i did fall. and there i sat. directly opposite what i knew was the end of the maze. i sat there, staring at the exit, staring at my freedom, and i thought... thats fine. next time i have this dream ill finally see whats out there.

i never did though.

that night, someone found me. i dont know his name, i dont know anything about him. but he came up and he was standing right in front of me. i tried to tell him to turn around, but my throat closed up. i couldnt move. i couldnt point. and he just stood there until i realised he was talking. i heard him ask if i was ok, and all i could say was "y-yes."

this poor boy, he didnt know how close he was to his freedom. but i did. but i also saw the walls extending, growing, laughing at us as the exit disappeared, and then i realised there is no way i could ever leave this maze.

as the walls grew further, i felt whatever was stopping my talking let go, and i heard my own raspy voice say "turn around". he looked at me, puzzled, before he did so. only then did i realize my mistake.

he turned around. he started walking away. i felt more terror in that moment then i had felt in my entire life, but i couldnt scream. at least id finally find out what happened to the people i met.

the sky, the sky which wasnt a sky, the endless void above us which just by looking into i could tell was nothing and could never be something, the overseer of this unending maze... with a hand that did not exist, it reached down, and with a mouth that was not a mouth, it swallowed me. it did not reach down and it did not swallow me, but perhaps those are the closest approximations for whatever it did to me.

as i was lifted into the endless abyss, i saw it grinning, and swiveling my head, i saw the maze reflecting that same grin.

i dont know what happened to me up there.

i woke up, and i never had that dream again.

*****

i dont think this one is as scary as the other one when written down, but just the feeling of the mazes hugeness and my smallness... that was enough to heavily terrify me as a child, in a way i cant put into words.

thanks for reading!

[lennyguardianistheonlyright]

Turns Out God Won't Let Me Die Chapter One

Guardian’s hands were sore from gripping the chainsaw, it slipped from his grasp when he was knocked down onto his back. He tried to quickly retrieve it but his body froze when Po’s spider legs positioned above him.

He felt his shoulders and chest yield to the stabbing pain. Guardian tried to scream but his voice wouldn’t come out right. His vision began to dim.

He failed.

He groans, lifting his head up. Guardian is startled that he actually woke up, but what he actually noticed were the screens in front of him. He leans in and recognizes the figures on the screens.

“You have to be kidding me.” The white tubby groans in disbelief.

Why have the sun gods cursed him like this?

What can he even do? Sure it was a chance to stop the ill future, but again, what can he do?

How can he stop Noo-Noo? Should he try to keep his focus completely on the robot? 

Choices were very hard for him, but he knows he has to try. He wasn’t just going to sit here and watch the same events unfold.

Guardian takes a deep breath to try to calm his nerves. He searches the screens until he spots the cleaning bot.

He obviously was angrily scolding Tinky Winky for having a ‘sissy’ purse.

The purple child’s ears fold down and he begins to cry. His skin crawls, he never actually has seen this. Admittedly he sometimes accidentally focuses too much on Dipsy and Laa Laa.

Guardian feels himself actually feeling sick when he witnesses Noo Noo turn from scolding to yelling and kicks him.

His ears flinch hearing Tinky cry even more.

The dome door suddenly opens and here comes Po stomping in.

“NOO NOO YOU ROBO BITCH LEAVE MY TINKY ALONE!” Po shouted, stomping her foot down with each word.

Guardian had maybe forgotten Po’s swearing habit she caught from Dipsy.

(Which was funny in a way considering Po is three.)

And how she would be summoned by Tinky’s distress.

Guardian pieced this from a long memory of while watching Dipsy and Laa Laa, Po’s small ears had suddenly shot up. Her antenna glowed and she left the two to run off somewhere.

Now he knew why and where. He wondered if Po actually could really sense when her best friend was in distress. It could just be a coincidence but…

Noo Noo walks away, uncaring of the whole situation, Po comforts Tinky while Guardian focuses on the robot.

It’s really boring watching Noo Noo only clean, he barely could manage to stay awake due to how painfully dull this was.

Suddenly the cleaner was hit by a familiar orange ball.

“I would normally say sorry, but you’re a piece of swiss.” Laa-Laa walked over to retrieve her ball.

Guardian supposed he must have switched over to a different teletubby since he doesn’t remember this either. 

Noo-Noo picks it up before she can and goes off in a rant of ‘keep your dumbass ball outside’.

Laa-Laa blankly stares at her captured ball. Guardian could tell her eight year old mind was trying to sort through her options and probably concerned Noo-Noo would pop her favorite toy.

She narrows her green eyes and puts her hands on her hips, glaring up at the tubby robot. He apparently didn’t notice.

She sighed then clapped her hands loudly, “Dipsy!”

The green teletubby rushed into the dome at the same time of Noo-Noo stopping as she said the name of his least favorite teletubby.

“What?” Dipsy complained, he had been in the middle of his jogging.

Laa-Laa points up at the ball. 

Dipsy’s reaction to this was to pick up his friend and chuck her up.

Laa-Laa gripped Noo-Noo’s bright red antenna and tugged it as roughly as she could.

The bot swears in pain as he drops the ball and tries to pry her hands away, but she had a surprisingly tight hold for a child.

“Don’t cheesing touch my swissing ball again you piece of swiss!” She yells in her loophole cuss words.

Dipsy laughed while Noo-Noo screamed out for the Announcer.

Guardian almost didn’t recognize the Announcer without the weapons. The robot was a military weapon bot but when Noo-Noo was dangerously close to causing psychological damage to Tinky Winky and Dipsy, the scientists in charge of this experiment reprogrammed a robot to act as a caretaker.

Announcer rushed from the other side of the dome to remove Laa-Laa and her ball. He sets her down.

She rolls her ball out of the dome with Dipsy trailing behind her.

Guardian slapped his cheeks to keep himself awake as night slowly creeped over the mainland.

Noo-Noo didn’t power off like usual. Instead he walked out of the dome and to the side.

Guardian leans forward, curious. Then surprised when the bot pressed the tip of his foot down on something, the ground opened and he descended down.

He got a pit in his stomach when he realized no cameras were down there and there was only one way to find what the bot was doing.

He would have to go outside.

[sinnabonka]

RKS x SPN

I started this as a crack drowley post, but look, we are doing it, we are searching for deancore in Rainbow Kitten Surprise songs.

Let’s break some hearts!

Cold Love (Thee Destiel song)

This song turns me into a pile of emotional wreckage. Let’s see why.

How it all started:

How it ended:

As if there was a force preventing them from happening. As if they were not destined and were not ready to be together in life, so had to be united in death. As if just as Dean was about to acknowledge his feelings, to wake up from the years of hiding the truth about himself, he was silenced. 

And the cherry on top that never fails to send me to hell and back:

Ok, chewing glass, brb. 

Next one.

Devil like me

Something about Dean never belonging to himself (John’s son, Sam’s keeper, Michael’s sword), and something about dying young and dying for what you believe it. If love and family are not things worth dying for, what is?

(15x20 didn’t happen, I don’t know her).

If I say I’m ready to step out of the open window right now, will you believe me? 

Because you should.

Hide

The very touch of you corrupts. 

When Castiel first laid a hand on you in hell, he was lost

Okay, okay, I think I’m fine, we can go on. 

Ah.

Something about Dean never allowing himself to settle down (until the later seasons), never letting himself to have a home. Something about Impala being his home, the only constant in his life, which, however, didn’t even belong to him at first. Something about “home” being an ill-fitting concept for so long, so he didn’t learn to keep stuff, to own stuff, and how “if you love them, they will leave you” was the rule he’s been living with since he was a kid.

If your heart is still beating by this point, you are stronger then me.

Because, man...

Ouch.

Right, okay, isn’t this the hymn of Dean man-what-are-you-talking-about Winchester?

You are wrong, it is.

Wasted 

Something about the self worth of both, about how neither believes he can be enough, he can be good enough, he can be able to give enough.

How it might hurt less if it wasn’t him, if it wasn’t them, and how “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more” (Jane Austen).

“You are too good for me, I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve your love”, thought both at the same time, staring in other’s eyes longingly.

It’s good you don’t hear the noises I’m making right now, they are not human (I bet that’s how hell sounds like), this is too much for my poor soul.

But we are not done.

One more.

All’s well that ends 

And the final nail in our group coffin:

Thank you for spending this time with me. I hope it was as entertaining for you, as it was for me. And I hope it hurt as much. 

[daimonhalos]

Aight this is the second time I watch it but I'm gonna do a commentary on the latest bad's lore stream! Just for funsies, I might have honestly already forgotten some stuff so I wanna keep my thought process :3 let's go, commentary under the cut.

There's also some small theories/analysis in some points but nothing too much, just me rambling cause pain.

The pre stream song. Faster and Bad never change please.

I love so so so much the ominous soundtracks he puts as background for lore man it's just so coooool.

Reality check pre/post lore my beloved 💜

that little meh eh eh. is everything

he's just on a boat at night and but can already see he's got shaders on, this means PRETTY VISUALS AHEAD. Also i really like bits beginning with the character alone heading towards their destined direction, it's just pleasing

HIM TAKING DOWN ANTI EGG POSTERS. KING SHIT

Can't believe I got to hear "muffinhead" in lore voice.

Not even inside the room and HOLY SHIT they covered it all with the red bricks block IM AAAAH IT'S SO PRETTY. Like before the vines were all put at random but now they're neatly placed and it's actually aesthetically pleasing? I love it

DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR DANCEFLOOR

The table. is . so. is so . it's so prebby,,, help like i'd live there man

Bad being overwhelmed by the egg's voice and lowkey scared. FINE IM FINE

No other choice. And the way he repeated it like a mantra? Kind of like to convince himself? AHHH

SKEPPY. SKEPP

small,, small egg staircase

haha fuckign pain. p a i n. just pain it sounds a lot like Skeppy before actually stayed with Bad cause it annoyed him how much he wanted to hang out like old times,,,,, my heart pangs

IM JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOU

I CARE ABOUT YOU *passes out*

bad scared the egg is skeppy's bff now /j (have to joke through the pain,,)

BADBOY i swear to god he knows his audience. he just does.

Bad doing whatever he can to even just hang out a few minutes with skeppy. Bro, the tears inside

"I'm comfortable right here." "Skeppy I know you are-" THE WAY BAD'S VOICE BROKE HERE HOLY SHIT LEMME CLIP IT.

He talks to chat. HE TALKS TO CHAT THIS MEANS WE ARE CANON THUS we are either little angels or demons around him or a mix or, we're particles that make up Rat ♥

"All of this is for him" okay stab me next time it'll hurt less

BADBOY STARTING TO BE CONFLICTED BECAUSE HE NEVER HAS A FUCKING BREAK

s- w- skeppy kept the egg alive? okay so ive been thinking about the fact that skeppy became completely red and like wow what if it kinda is that hes literally become a small part of Egg? like, i wonder if someone breaks it, if he feels pain

Skeppy so dry with his responses. stop i will cry

bad. bad why are you bringing up selfies to a lore stream bad-

"why are you still talking to me" "okay..." stop stop PLEASE STOP-

smol growls, he's getting frustrated

idk why but skeppy talking about the perimeters made me laugh it was just funny how far away he was and just started talking about it randomly

"i think it looked a little bit better before" thoughts being thunk

"what's it gonna take for you to stop talking to me?" literally i am deceased s t o p

STOP STEPPIN ON THE MAGMA BLOCKS SIR YOU'RE HURTING

Bad shouldn't be so happy about just having "one last walk around" with skeppy so he "stops bothering" him tHIS HURTS SO MUCH the egg has fucked them up so much

Skeppy doesn't hear it huh? Maybe it whispers different things to everyone

"I like how it feels" nooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO STOP HURTING TOURSELF

so no dance? *slams phone on the ground*

When skeppy says his line about never seeing anything close to a party there, idk what it is about it but his tone just hits, man he's so good preesh

HE CALLED HIM ANT. BAD PLS YOUR BEING BAD AT NAMES IS SHOWING

"Oh my goodness you're going back to the egg" HE'S SO SAD. HE'S SO SAD CAUSE HE COULDNT KEEP HIM WITH HIM A LITTLE BIT LONGER HES S

"you know what? i invite you" i wanna read this in a certain way. The egg was feeling like bad was so frustrated he started doubting the egg, so it was like alright let's use skeppy to get it closer to I can manipulate this bad boy better :)) motherfuck

are they about to kiss-

egg cockblocker

"okay don't come back" end me rn

ngl when sapnap joined I got real scared for a moment.

"it's not about power! it's nor about control! i'm you friend skeppy!" "I mean ... you can think that" FUCK U NO IM NOT DEALING WITH THIS RN

"We're friends, right?"

"In your head we can be best friends, we can be whatever you want" BDI ANYONE??????? also whatever- whatever he wants? :eyes: okay sorry no ill see myself out

"We're m- we are friends sk-" M- MARRIED WAS HE GONNA SAY MARRIED DID HE PULL A QUACKITY OH MY GOD I HATE THIS GUY OH MY GOD /pos but also like in a bawling my eyes out way

the egg is more than just a friend? skep u good there pal do u have smth to tell us

"You don't know what it's like." OH HERE HE GOES. HERE HE GOES HERE IT COMES OH NO.

The way Bad stutters i really thought he was gonna say something REALLY IMPACTFUL

"I have done so much for you, for our friendship and now you're trying to tell me we're not friends anymore?" LEAVE ME ALONE

I JUST CAUGHT THE BLOOPER HE SAID ON ME INSTEAD OF HANG OUT WITH ME IM CRYING OH MY GOD BAD HOW DID U FUCK THAT UP oh my god I imagine him mentally going like oh my gosh out of all the things that could be messed up THAT WAS SO FUNNY

ahaha my dads are fighting help

"You think you've done anything? You seriously think that?" *looks at my fic where bad feels worthless because the egg said so* ahah... I'm sorry?

"You left me for a long, long long time before you even checked up on me, okay?" he's not wrong,,,, he's not wrong why does this hurt sm,,,,, "and now all of a sudden you care about me?" OH MY GOD PLEASE I HATE THIS EGG

I see them... i see them approaching the lava blocks..

"the past doesn't matter" the egg wanting to erase their relationship so much,,,, i wanna cry because then if bad doesn't have skeppy he just has nothing right and then,,, then he can be another empty vessel for the fucking egg I hate this mI hate this so much

Also!!! little things I noticed!! Bad taking away part of the vine and also mining a red block? Without being affected at all? MHHHH

"I just wanted us to hang out like we used to" BAD'S VOICE CRACKING AGAIN STOP I WILL CJRYSD

"I did all of this for you and I didn't want the egg to take that away" you see how fucking tragic this is. Like Skeppy sacrificed himself so his friend could stop being infected. Bad sacrificed literally the whole server himself included to get him back. And then it comes down to this. The egg separating them a thousand fucking miles away. I hate this it's so sad

the selfish bit please no stop

THE LAVA BAD THE LAVA PLEASE IT'S TOO CLOSE

the fucking shaking with rage thing got me BROOOO I LOVE WHEN BAD DOES THE LITTLE THINGS IN GAME

"IT'S JUST A STUPID EGG" FUCKING FINALLY YOU TELL HIM BAD but then oh no oh no would you look at that huh. cant fucking have shit in dsmp. the way he immediately just screams for him right after

YOU CAN HEAR THE TEARS IN HIS VOICE and also mine hi I'm sobbing again

BDI FUCKING CANON LET'S GOOOOOOO WE CALLED ITTTT

(Dreamscape?)Skeppy being actually concerned with him haha this doesn't hurt at all!!!

*stares at black screen* I'm fine.

Thank you for listening to my ramble I am hurting so much bestie

[98prilla]

Hidden Shapes

Based on This Post by @fangirltothefullest (who is awesome and amazing, go follow). This was supposed to be a simple one shot, but as always, it’s really gotten away from me, so expect three to four chapters, instead. 

...

AO3

Next

The dark sides all have animal traits. But they also have hybrid forms. Something Patton, Logan, and Roman don't realize until Janus isn't able to help it. 

....

He doesn’t feel quite right.

 He brushes it off, at first, ignoring the slight chill that comes over him, every once in a while, the mild achiness to his bones, he ignores them all.

 Then Patton comments on how his scales look pretty on his arms, when he’s doing the dishes, sleeves rolled up, and he nearly drops the plate he’s washing, before he regains his composure, letting Patton think the slip was from the unexpected compliment, as he excuses himself.

 He notices his fangs are longer, sharper, the next day, and his chills are stronger as well, he spends nearly the whole of it working at his desk, wrapped in a blanket, trying to ignore the pain taking up residence behind his temples, pounding dully against his skull, as he examines and rearranges the schedule to make sure everyone has at least a day of self care planned for the week, before sending it back to Logan for assessment. He won’t admit it out loud, but he rather enjoys the back and forth, the bargaining, the trade offs, it’s a bit of a game of wits, finding how it all can fit. But today it just makes him exhausted.

 He makes an excuse, not to come out for supper that night, saying he’s tired and plans to turn in early, which is true, he just leaves out the reason, which would lead to Patton trying to take care of him, and the last thing he wants is to force pity from Patton, so he keeps his mouth shut.

…

He’s shaking. The world is swirling and writhing around him, shadows stretching and shifting around him, forming almost figures, eyes glaring at him accusingly, whispers menacing his ears, telling him how poorly of a job he’s really doing, and he grits his teeth and bears it, even as he feels himself shifting into something different, scales blooming across the entirety of his face, his arms, coiling in on himself, as his tail forms, a ball python’s markings, in deep blacks and hazardous yellows, marking him as the venomous creature he is.

 He doesn’t want to be this monster, but he can’t stop it, can’t stop the change, so he just hisses, cursing the world, burying himself in his tail so he doesn’t have to see anything, feel anything, outside his little bubble, though he can’t seem to stop shaking, no matter how tightly he curls.

…

He sees clawed hands tearing at him, shredding him to ribbons. Dark figures laughing as they rip him limb from limb. Violet eyes and neon green grinning, as they set him aflame, burning him to ash, and somehow, he can feel every second of it, taste the smoke on his tongue, convulsing and writhing as he tries to escape the smoke, but there’s nowhere, nowhere to go. Webs, pinning him down, eight eyes, eyes he knows so well, staring into his as the pincers bite into his neck, tentacles wrapping tight around his throat, lifting him off the ground, constricting him until he can’t breathe, until his own weight suffocates him-

 Then suddenly it’s bright, far too bright, and he can’t see clearly, and he hears gasps, voices around him, hissing and flinching back at a touch to his forehead, slitted eyes flashing as his tail lashes, coiling.

 “Leave me alone!” He growls, baring his fangs, his claws, ready to spring, even as the world spins and colors blend, everything shifting as if he’s looking through a fun house mirror.

 “You’re burning up…”

 “Calm down, Janus, let us help!” He hisses, drawing back further, heart pounding with fear, pulse racing with adrenaline, but everything is too much, too loud, too bright, and he can’t focus, can’t figure out where he is or what’s going on or who is speaking, past the pounding in his ears.

 Then a hand comes into view, trying to reach him, and he snarls, letting the coils do their job, propelling himself forwards, pouncing, but the sudden movement sends a wash of lightheadedness through him, and the world goes dark.

 “Janus! Janus, are you ok?!” He groans, barely managing to register the voice, barely managing to flick open his eyes for long enough to see a flash of deep blue, to realize someone has caught him, stopped him from falling.

 “lo…gan?” He manages weakly, feeling the logical side let out a relieved breath, though he’s no less worried.

 “Yes. You’ve got a severe fever, Janus, how long have you been sick?” His mind seems to be working at half speed, his tongue feels heavy and thick, and he barely manages a shrug.

 “w-week?” He offers, already slipping away.

 “Oh honey. We’re gonna take care of you, alright? You just get some rest, and when you wake up it’ll all be better.” He doesn’t trust that voice, not completely, but he knows in this case, it’s telling the truth, so he nods, shivering at the cold air on his scales, wishing for his heating pad, before he blacks out once more.

…

Logan lets out a low breath as Janus collapses in his arms, cheeks flushed, even through the scales now peppering both sides of his face, his pulse coming in odd unsteady beats, his breathing shallow and uneven. He’s ill, extremely ill, and he doesn’t know how none of them had noticed.

 Then again, even after becoming accepted, Janus has always been the most aloof of all of them. Even now, they don’t really know much about him, he holds everything close to his chest. Which is maybe why Virgil and Remus are the only two who don’t look entirely surprised at the state of him.

 That state being a half human, half snake, commonly known as a Naga, in folklore.

 “We need to break the fever. Help me lift him, onto the couch?” Logan states, more than asks, and instantly, the twins are there, each taking half of his tail while Logan takes his torso, sliding him onto the couch, before wrapping him with blankets, trying to quell his incessant shivering, coiling tight, teeth chattering.

 “Now what?” Roman asks, uncharacteristically quiet.

 “Heated blankets, he has some, yes?” Remus nods.

 “I’ll go get them.”

 “Virgil.” He startles at Logan addressing him, his eyes had been locked on Janus’s form, huddled and so small, despite his large coils. He hadn’t realized his breath was starting speed, his heart starting pound. “Virgil, I need you to answer some questions for me. It could help in my treatment of him.” He nods, though his throat feels dry.

 “He has shifted like this before?” He nods again, forcing himself to take a deep inhale and exhale.

 “yeah. He doesn’t… he usually doesn’t. Doesn’t like to. But when he gets sick or hurt, he loses control, sometimes. Goes… goes into attack mode.” Logan nods.

 “It makes sense, that as self preservation, he would have this kind of protective mechanism. Given his scales, I’m not surprised that he would take Naga form. And Remus has his tentacles, his half animal form being an octopus-“

 “Kraken, dear Logic!” Remus trills, returning and tucking the heated blankets around Janus, making sure they aren’t set too high. They want a toasty snek, after all, not a toasted one. A minor distinction, but an important one, in this case.

 “And Virgie here is-“ Instantly, the room grows ten degrees colder, the shadows lengthening, as it grows darker, all eyes turning back to Virgil, who is shaking his head, maybe just shaking in general.

 “don’t. Remus, please… don’t.” Remus pouts, but instantly nods, coming over and rubbing his arms to dispel the chill, smiling as Virgil’s head thumps against his chest.

 “Sorry, Vee. I forget what I’m not supposed to say and what I am. I didn’t mean to spill the beans.” He feels Virgil nod, knows he understands, he’s just scared and stressed right now, and so is he, it’s why his tongue nearly slipped. He has a bit more control than the others tend to think, at least when it comes to important things, secret things, like this.

 “Virgil? You… you have animal traits too? That’s really cool, kiddo, why didn’t you tell us?” He winces at Patton’s question.

 “you wouldn’t like them. Trust me, Pat, it’s better I just keep them tucked away, where they won’t cause any problems.” He mutters, a bit of fear curdling in his chest, at what he is, fear blooming at what they would do, if they knew.

 If they knew his eyeshadow was to hide the three smaller eyes dotted underneath his normal ones, if they knew about his eight, spindly spiked legs, that could extend from his back, much like Remus’s tentacles, making him much faster and stronger than any of the rest of them, if they knew how quickly he could move, slinging web, how reflexive an action it once was, when he and Remus were young and would tussle, if they knew about his own deadly, venomous fangs, if they knew how when he was stressed, he still vanished into Remus’s imagination, to weave intricate webs, to put his hands to work so his mind would be silent.

 “Virgil. I love you kiddo, no matter what, okay? Just remember that, if you ever do want to share. Whatever it is, it won’t change that.” He looks away, nodding once, though if Janus were in working order he’d call bullshit from a mile away, there were some things that they could grow to accept about him, yes, but his half spider form? Definitely not one of them, when even curtains with cartoony spiders warranted being called “creepy crawly death dealers” and getting attacked by Roman’s sword.

 “So… now what do we do?” Roman asks breaking the silence.

 “wait. He’ll shift back, once he’s feeling better, in control, again. Until then, we should all give him plenty of space, you three especially.” Virgil answers.

 “Why is that?” Logan asks, and Remus grins.

 “Janny’s got quite a nasty bite. Those fangs aren’t just for show!”

 “He might lash out, is what he’s saying. And it’s better if no one is in reach when he does. Me and Re have a certain amount of immunity, to the venom, thanks to our… traits, but it would be really, really bad, for any of you. Plus, he isn’t used to you all being around yet, he’s less likely to lash out if it’s me or Remus, nearby.” Virgil explains, “you, um, you’ll trigger his fight reflex.” He doesn’t have to look up, to see the slightly hurt expression on Patton’s face.

 “He doesn’t trust us yet.” Logan says softly, and Remus nods, though his face is tight, with a frown.

 “That’s… understandable. We haven’t been the best of companions.” Roman murmurs, surprising both Remus and Virgil.

 “He trusts you.” Remus states, looking firmly at Logan, who’s eyes widen in surprise, hand flying to adjust his glasses. “He doesn’t trust you.” Remus states, looking at Roman, who nods minutely, a brief look of regret flashing across his face. “And none of us trust you.” He turns his sharp gaze on Patton, who winces.

 “Remus!” Virgil hisses, grabbing his arm.

 “What? It’s true, otherwise you would have told them what you are, by now! Tell me, the reason you haven’t, isn’t exclusively to do with Patton.” He flinches, drawing back, eyes glued to the floor so he doesn’t have to see the hurt on Patton’s face, though he hears the sharp inhale of breath. “Tell me you aren’t afraid, of what he will do.” He gasps, the air flooding out of him, feeling as if he’s been punched in the gut, tears welling in the corners of his eyes. He opens his mouth, ready to deny it.

 “I can’t.” he whispers instead, blanching at his own words, drawing further back, into himself. “I… I can’t.”

 “that’s ok, kiddo.” Patton’s voice is soft, trembling, and he looks up in surprise, at the words, Patton taking a step closer, though still giving him his space. “It’s ok. I’ve hurt you, a lot, in the past, unintentionally, but I still hurt you. It’s ok, that you don’t feel comfortable telling me everything, telling me anything. I don’t expect you to. I don’t need you to. I’m happy to just be here, that you’ve let me have this much with you, and it’s ok, that you don’t entirely trust me. It’s ok, Virg.” His lip trembles, then he’s in Patton’s arms, head tucked against his shoulder. “we’re ok, kiddo.” Patton hugs him tightly, rubbing circles against his back, pretending not to notice the sniffling.

 “thank you.” Virgil whispers, pulling away, Patton reluctantly letting him go.

 “Of course, Virgil. I’ll go get started on some soup and grilled cheese. Everyone needs to eat something, and hopefully we’ll be able to get some soup in him, too. Thank you, Remus. For being honest with me. It… it hurts, but I need to hear it, sometimes. It keeps me moving forwards. Keeps me getting… better.” Patton flashes him a small, tired smile, before ducking away, into the kitchen.

 “I’ll go help. He gets shaky, when he’s worried, and he’ll nick himself cutting the vegtables, otherwise.” Roman mumbles, looking back at Remus, hesitating as if he wants to say something, before shaking his head and turning away, a rueful smile on his lips, a promise in his eyes, that they’ll talk later, when he knows what he wants to say.

 “He… trusts me?” Remus rolls his eyes, sitting on the arm of the couch.

 “Um, duh? You’re the only one who accepted all of us, right of the bat. Sure, you aren’t buddy buddy with us, but you also didn’t just dismiss us. You also listened to us, took us seriously, debated, not disagreeing just because of who we are. You treat us like… equals. That’s a rare thing, around here, Logan.”

 “…oh. I… I see. Well. I will be keeping an eye on his temperature, checking in every few hours. If anything changes, fetch me immediately. I’ll get some cool water and towels, for his forehead. See if you can’t coax him into drinking something, as well, he’s likely severely dehydrated. I would suggest an IV, but I doubt his reaction to that would be ideal.”

 “Ok. Sounds good, Lo. Thanks.” Logan nods once, before leaving, dropping off a bowl and towels, before vanishing once more. Virgil slumps to the ground, back resting against the couch cushions, hands buried in his face as he lets out a long, shaking breath, trying to stave off the panic creeping up his shoulders.

 Remus frowns, brushing back Janus’s hair, dabbing the rag across his forehead, willing with all his might for the fever to go down, for his eyes to open, for him to smirk and say something bitingly sharp.

 “Come on, DeeDee. Playing coy doesn’t suit you.” He whispers, eyes flicking to Virgil at the small snort from the emo, who shoves his hands up through his hair, leaving it messy and disheveled, his eyeshadow smeared across his face. If he looks hard enough, he can spot his dark little eyes, shiny, pure pitch little things, like reflective black buttons. “you know I’ve always found your little quirks cute, right?” He asks, not mentioning specifics just in case someone came by. Virgil lets out another short laugh, though the small smile stays on his face, as he shakes his head.

 “I think you’re the only one who would describe them that way, Ree, but yeah. I know.” He mumbles, not protesting as Remus slips off the couch and onto the floor beside him, slowly and gently resting an arm around his shoulders. He scoots closer, tucking himself against Remus’s side, letting himself burrow into the warmth, safe and protected. “I’m scared.” Comes the low whisper, and Remus coos, turning to wrap his other arm around him in a warm hug.

 “I know, shadow. I know.”

[buckys-forgotten-plum]

I prefer Bucky, Doll ||3||

Read Part 2 Here

Prompt:  James Buchanan Barnes has been coming to your weekend market table for a while now and finally has something to ask.

Warnings: Angst, Swearing, Steven Rogers being an idiot, Y/n also being and idiot, a very sad and very soft James Barnes. 

wowzers a part three. At this rate I might have to actually become a regular writer and not be a lazy pos. 

Please, Like, Follow, Reblog, Comment, Sing, Dance, whatever you wanna do! 

Have a nice day guys and enjoy reading :)

                                                                 ~

“James you look so handsome in your uniform,” you compliment happily to the man standing in front of you.

James had just arrived to take you and Steve to his send off. It was a sad day but you still made sure to wear your prettiest dress and bake a dozen of your famous snicker doodle cookies for him. 

“Thanks doll, you look lovely as usual.” Bucky blushes and looks down at the small bouquet of flowers clutched in his hands. He was a bit embarrassed about his gift choice. why would I get flowers for a girl who sells them for a living. 

“Are you giving those to Stevie?” you joke and motion towards the pretty bundle of flowers that Bucky seemed to be holding on to for dear life. You couldn’t be too mad though, your grip on that poor bag of cookies was just as tight. 

Bucky let out a quiet laugh, handing over the flowers with a sheepish grin, “Sorry doll, can’t say I ain’t nervous or anything,” 

A soft breath of air leaves your lips, “I know, James. It’s going to feel a bit... Lonely, here. Especially at work,” You finish the sentiment with a tight smile. 

James doesn’t respond, only smiles back and takes your hand in his. 

________________________________________________________________

The send off was filled with tears and mothers yelling for their sons safe return. You don’t remember if Steve cried, too busy focusing on your own tears that clouded your vision. You remember Bucky’s mother holding onto him for almost up until he boarded the giant, dark grey ship. You remembered Becca sobbing loudly next to Steve. You remember the way, after his mother letting him go, how he held you. It was tight and all consuming around your smaller frame, his right hand tangled deep into your hair as his left arm wrapped around your waist and his hand was latched to your hip. You remembered how he breathed deeply, shushed you quietly as your violent tears soaked the shoulder of his forest green jacket.

“Don’t cry sweetheart, I promise everything will be fine,” Bucky mumbles into your hair. 

“You can’t promise that James. That’s not fair,” Your voice is scratchy as you cry out a reply. 

“You’re right, honey. But please promise me something? Promise that you’ll look after Steve for me, yeah?” He pulls away just a bit to stare down at your surely makeup stained face. 

“W-What?” your brows furrow, face tilting into the warmth of the soldiers hand. 

“It’s just... Steve’s always had me there, during his father, after his mother. I need you to make sure he stays out of trouble... Keep em’ safe for me alright? He’s kinda stupid,” The smile that adorned James’ face was beautiful as he spoke to you. 

You’d miss it immensely.

“Okay, yes-yes I promise.” You nod your head in agreement, pushing your cheek into his hand even more. 

A sharp intake of breath made its way to your lungs as you see a few tears run down Bucky’s face. You quickly wipe them away, leaving your hands to rest gently on each side of his face. 

“See you soon. Right doll?” His smile spoke volumes as he stared down at you. 

“Of course, Bucky. I’ll see you soon,” You answer, voice shaky and weak. 

With a small, lingering kiss to you forehead and one to each cheek, Bucky lets you go and steps back. With one final wave, he turns to the ship and begins to make the small journey to board. You feel the other three onlookers step beside you and gaze upon the heavy sea of green flowing onto the main deck. 

“Lord, please get my boy home safely. I beg of you,” Ms. Barnes words cut into your heart with a deep pity and you grab onto the sleeve of Steve’s shirt for stability. 

Your small group stands there, watching the process of everyone board as family after family says goodbye to their sons, fathers, brothers, husbands... 

At some point in time, you couldn’t remember when, James’ family went home, while you and Steve stayed at the docks until the sun had begun to set. You had stopped crying after you had run out of tears to shed, Steve being there to comfort you the whole time. He told you empty promises of James’ safe return in a couple months but you couldn’t believe him, you weren’t blinded to the fatalities and ugliness of war, for God’s sake your mother had been a nurse in the first World War, she had returned with an abundance of scars and lack of hearing, Your father wasn’t fortunate to be able to come home...

“You wanna get out of here kid?” Steve’s voice had broken you out of your seemingly endless train of thoughts as he quietly asked the question.

“I’m not too sure yet Stevie... You can go on home if you need, I know you get sick real easy and it’s gonna start gettin’ cold soon,” your voice was hoarse and painful as it ground its way from your lips. 

“Y/n, you know I would never leave you out here alone! Come on, let’s get some food in ya,” Steve stood up and held his hand out for you to take. 

You hesitated for a moment before allowing his hand to grab yours and stand up. 

________________________________________________________________

Steve ended up taking you to the same diner that Bucky had taken you to on your first (and sadly last) date. It was warm and quiet inside, the newest big band record playing from the jukebox filled the air quietly, creating a comforting environment that soothed your aching heart just the slightest bit. 

“You want some pancakes, Doll?” Steve asked, a small teasing smile gracing his lips. 

You pull a sad smile on to your face and shake your head, “Just a malt is fine Stevie, thank you,” 

“Comin’ right up,” he assured, lightly knocking on the table you had chosen for your visit before heading up to the counter to get the waitress’s attention. 

As you waited, your fingers messed with the hem of your dress, tugging at the soft material and running your fingers over the few wrinkles that had managed to set themselves into it. It wasn’t long until Steve had returned with too delicious malts in his hands. You both drank the majority of them in a comfortable silence, enjoying the warm atmosphere and  each others company. 

“He’ll be alright, I know he will,” Steve mumbles, his eyes gazing up at you and just for a second, it seemed as though Steve was trying to convince himself more than you. 

You reached across the table and placed your hand upon Steve’s, “You’re right, he will,” You tried to put as much confidence in your voice as you could muster, hoping it would be enough to calm you friend. 

“Are you ready to go?” 

You nodded in agreement, Steve wasting no time in standing up and offering you his hand like the gentlemen he was. “Thank you Stevie,” 

“No problem doll,” he smiles gently, removing his hand from yours and placing it lighting on your back.

The walk back to your apartment, you assumed, would have been uneventful, until Steve had seen a recruitment center, making his feet stutter in their movements. 

“Y/n your apartment is just down the block right?” he asked absentmindedly. 

A sigh escaped your lips before you could even think about responding, “Steven don’t-” 

“It’s fine, I’ll only be minute if you don’t feel comfortable walking the rest of the way,” Steve mumbled and began walking towards the entrance like he was in some sort of trance.

“Steven Rogers you will not sign up again. You’ve done it so many times your bound to get caught, you’ve never passed one before-” “Y/n my best friend just left on a boat to go save countless lives, I owe him this,” 

You hurriedly followed Steven into the mess of canopy and folding chairs, refusing to back down.

“You owe yourself your life Steve. This is ridiculous, there are so many other ways you can help,” Your hand reached out and gripped onto his arm, turning him towards you and staring into his eyes.

“What? Collecting scrap metal like little Timmy?” “Steve-” “ Working in a factory? Y/n men are laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them, that’s what you don’t get. It isn’t about me,”

Your brows scrunched in frustration, “right, cause you got nothing to prove? At all?” 

Steve’s jaw clenched as he glanced away from you, “You can’t stop me from doing this, Y/n. I’m sorry, you just can’t,” 

You let out another begrudged sigh and refrained from slapping the man in front of you, “Fine. I’m coming with you then,” 

“What? No you’re not, the war is no place for a girl like you,” You blanched at his words. 

“A girl like me? Steve I grew up with three brothers, I have two master's degrees, and I have more than enough knowledge on what goes on in war due to what my parents went through before I was born, so excuse me but you have your views completely backwards. Now, let’s get this done and over with so I can go home because today has been complete hogwash,” You huff, grabbing Steves wrist and dragging the frozen man over to the check-in. 

________________________________________________________________

Steve was now sitting on an exam table, shoes pushed off into the corner and sleeves rolled up. You sat in another corner, ankles neatly crossed and hands folded stiffly in your lap. A young doctor stood at the small counter set up, quietly going over the documents in hand. You had no doubt they would reject Steve, just like the other five recruitment offices. Steve had the longest list of illnesses and disabilities you had ever seen, when he had first introduced himself to you it was after he had suffered an asthma attack while walking around the market with Bucky. 

Everything seemed fine until a pretty nurse walked into the room, quietly whispering into the doctors ear and leaving with him in a hurry. You could see Steve stiffen from where you sat as he quickly looked over his shoulder, his eyes roaming to the sign above your head, stating that it was illegal to lie on your form. 

“Steve,” you bit quietly in warning, your ankles uncrossing and getting ready to dash out. 

“Yup, got it, leavin’, you were right,” he agreed immediately and jumped to put his shoes on. 

“You’re damn right I was,” you mutter under your breath, too stressed to remain ladylike. 

Another man enters the room and you both freeze from your escape, two sets of wide, cautious eyes stare at the intruder as he casually walks over to the counter.  “So... You want to go overseas, kill some Nazis,” the accent made the both of you perk up a bit as you stared in awe at the doctor in front of you. 

“Excuse me?” Steve asked, slightly taken aback. 

“Dr. Abraham Erskine, I represent the Strategic Scientific Reserve,” the man walks over to you, offering his hand for you to take, which you quickly do, shaking it firmly and quietly saying you name before the doctor moves back to Steve. 

“Steve Rogers,” the man introduces, stiffly taking the others hand. 

Doctor Erskine turns away and begins to shuffle through his stack of papers once more, “Where you from?” Steve asks suddenly. 

“Steven,” you gasp at his rude intrusion and the meaning behind it. 

“It’s alright miss, I live in Queens, but if it’s that important to you, I originate from Germany, this bothers you?” Erskine’s response is calm as he turns to Steve, giving a pointed look at the other man. 

Steve shakes his head quickly, “no,”

There’s a beat of silence before the doctor responds, “Where are you from, Mr. Rogers? Mmm? Is it New Haven? Or Paramus? Five exams in five different cities,” 

He had been figured out, a sigh escaped your lips and you clapped your hand to your forehead in a mixture of defeat and frustration. 

“That might be the wrong file-” “forget about the exams, I do not care about the exams... Five different tries, now that is something I am interested in. Do you want to kill Nazis?” the doctor asked, eyes locked onto Steve's. 

“Is this a test?”

 “Yes;” 

“I don’t want to kill anybody, I just...Don’t like bullies,” Steve answered, his voice quiet but firm. 

“There are many big men fighting this war, have been for a long time, maybe now what we need,” the doctor paused for a moment, glancing in your direction, then back to Steve, “maybe we need a little guy,” 

Your eyes shot up in shock, “You’re taking him?” 

“I can give him a chance,” the doctor answered. 

“I’ll take it,” Steve agreed quickly, hopping to his feet. 

Doctor Erskine turns to you, “Miss Y/L/N, you seem... Upset,” 

“I made a promise to someone I care deeply for that I would keep Steve from doing anything stupid,” you let out a dry laugh, standing up and looking to the man who had sealed Steve’s fate. 

“So that means it would likely be best you accompany him, yes?” 

“What?” Both yours and Steve voice ask in shock, glancing at each other then back to the seemingly crazy doctor. 

“It doesn’t take much to look up a last name in these files and see if any family has served before, Miss Y/L/N. Your parents are highly decorated service members, I can only hope you have inherited their gifts?” 

You smile proudly and look Doctor Erskine in the eyes, “Fully graduated with a Masters in molecular biochemistry and another in Bioengineering sir,” 

“Your parents must be very proud, you have a chance to build upon that pride. I have a place for you on my team,” 

“A-Are you serious? Would I be staying alongside Steve?” Your voice shook as you tried to understand your situation. 

“Assuming that he doesn’t waste his single chance, that is correct. So, are you truly willing to keep your promise to that person? Will you be joining us?” Both men stared back at you expectantly as your mind reeled to catch up with what was happening. 

It only took a moment to figure out your only option. 

“When are we leaving?” You ask, finality in your voice and a new feeling beginning to bloom in your chest.