#I just. i really need to feel some control over things rn 😭

[sunnibits]

understanding why people always get haircuts when they’re mentally unstable now. life is shitty and unfair but at least we always have ✨bodily autonomy✨

[hatake]

.

[beenbaanbuun]

hi bunny! <33 i wanted to ask if you could do a little fic of how the ateez boys (specifically jjong) would be like during aftercare ❤️ after a rougher session— i’m in need of comforty cute stuff rn lmao 😭 no pressure ofc! luv u bun bun 🫶

aftercare w/ateez

hongjoong

i feel like hongjoong is very prepared for aftercare, especially if he knows in advance that it’s going to be a rougher session

like he already has a glass of water and a snack bar on the nightstand ready to go

coos and praises you as he breaks the bar into tiny pierces and slides them between your lips with his fingers

will absolutely force you to pee and shower once he thinks you’ve got your energy up enough to walk to the bathroom

stays with you the whole time you pee, and slides into the shower beside you to wash your hair

unlike some of the others i don’t believe that the shower will to anything else because hongjoong has a modicum of self control and can see you naked without going feral…

seonghwa

seonghwa’s first instinct is to go and grab a washcloth from the bathroom so he can wipe down the mess between your legs

of course, while he’s in the bathroom, he kills two birds with one stone and begins to draw a bath for you

wipes down your sticky skin with the warm cloth, all while whispering praises

‘i know you’re sensitive but you’re being such a good girl by letting me clean you! just a little more and it’ll be over, my darling.’

once you’re somewhat clean he guides you to the bathroom and helps you into the bath before going to chance the sheets

comes back the second they’re changed and in the washer so he can sit on the side of the tub and watch you with a pretty smile

yunho

cuddly boy!!

will literally just hold you to his chest and stroke his hand up and down your spine while the two of you return your breathing to normal

isn’t so fussy about the ‘clean’ aspect of it all, but will definitely make you go pee because we do not want any UTI’s in this house!

and once you’re finished peeing, he just ticks you back into his nice strong arms and lets you fall to sleep in his grasp

he trusts you enough to know that you’ll tell him if you need anything else; water, a snack, all that jazz

he also knows you enough to know that is so incredibly rare that you’ll want anything other than him and his warm cuddles

because let’s be real, lying on top of yunho with your head tucked into his neck and his long arms holding you in place is actually the best feeling in the world

yeosang

you know my thoughts on yeosang’s sex style so i also have to assume that he takes his job of aftercare very seriously

it’s half a guilt thing because baby boy went so hard that now he has to take care of you; he needs to know that you’re okay and he didn’t do too much

he starts by wiping you down and you’re guaranteed to be oversensitive, but he just shushes you and tells you how well you’re doing

ideally he’d like you to shower, but you’re too boneless right now and he doesn’t want to leave you for long enough to run a bath

and when he’s all done cleaning you up, he’ll hold a straw to your mouth, watching you as gulp down the water he brought you

i can see him needing his own validation as well so he asks you plenty of questions

did he go to far? did you like it when he did that one thing? were you having as much fun as he was? he really is desperate to know that you were having a good time

san

san is so fucking clingy that from the moment he goes soft, he will not let you out if his sight

he won���t send you to the bathroom yourself with promises of cuddles when you get back; why would he when he can follow you in there to hold your hand while you pee?

and while you’re in the shower you better let this man wash your hair, your body, your face, anything he can, unless you want him to pout

sits you on the toilet seat while he brushes your teeth; it’s cute but you can’t help but feel shy as he holds your jaw and looks down at you

and then when he’s sure you’re squeaky clean and happy, he bundles you up in his arms and drags you back to bed with him

from which there will be no escape, by the way; if you even dream about getting out of bed, san will be pouting and complaining

mingi

i like to think that he puts his mind, body and soul into sex, so he’s probably just as tired as you when it’s over

ideally, he’d just like to stay in bed with you, but he knows you have to replenish yourself, so he sets you little tasks

“can you go get a wash cloth from the bathroom so i can wipe you down?”, “go piss, girl. i’ll be right here waiting for you.”

and you best believe that after every single task you complete, he’s praising you like you’ve just cured world hunger or something

lips pressed against yours, letting you know just how good you are for him and how proud he is of you for doing what he asks

it’s safe to say youre leave your submissive headspace any time soon, not when mingi has you in his grasp, whispering sweet praises in your ear

wooyoung

wooyoung likes to do everything for you and if he even catches you lifting a finger he will become the most annoying person to ever walk this earth

like he’ll be getting you a glass of water and he’ll come back to the bedroom to see you with a tissue between your legs and all he can thing is how dare you?

literally storms over and takes it away from you before continuing the job himself, muttering under his breath as he cleans you up

“you weren’t so independent when you were begging for my dick, hm?” he scowls, “you need me to fuck you properly, so what makes you think you don’t need to help you with this too?”

like honestly, he’s kind of mean with it but with his gentle touch and the tiny kisses that he’s pressing to your thighs, you know he isn’t actually mad

just being his regular wooyoung-ish self…

jongho

oh you think he’s a teddy bear? wrong; during aftercare you’re his teddy bear and there’s nothing you can do about it!

because he’s way too strong for you to escape from the grasp he has on you, no matter how much wriggling you do

it’s fine though, because jongho always keeps. a bottle of water by his bed and a few snacks in his drawer and a pack of baby wipes too

you literally don’t even have to move from his arms for him to take care of you; everything you need is right there!

of course when you tell him you need to use the bathroom he’s pouting, but then you tell him he can come with you and he’s happy again

he doesn’t consider the fact that he can’t squeeze you to death when you’re actually on the loo, so when he realises that he’s pouting again

literally clings to you the moment you stand up, wasting no time in dragging you back to bed for more cuddles

[hwaslayer]

favorite things | pmylm drabble (jyh)

⇢ favorite things - drabble one // ft. the pmylm couple

summary: yunho's been having a rough time adjusting to the 'real world' and gets upset when he can't have the person he needs the most right away.

words: 2.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy/insecurities, yuyu is upset and doesn't really know how to control his feelings rn cause he is just a tired boy 😭, a small lil fight, the awkward silent treatment, yuyu and yeo talk thru his feelings for a bit, kissing/making out, sorry if i missed anything i quickly whipped the rest of this in bed lol

a/n: whipped this baby up because i just felt the need to and i missed my babies!! (+ this lil IG inspo hehe) more drabbles to come 🫶🏼 love you in slow motion update this weekend annnnd i’m gonna have to push back the fallen angel hwa fic cause im all over the place 🥹 but we’ll do better!! lol stay tuned!!

Yunho has entered the real world and he is exhausted. When his mom used to joke about living and working in this so-called real world, he used to think it was just a thing to keep him on his toes, shake him up a little bit.

Nope, that shit was all real.

And he hates it.

He hates it because it's the one thing that brings another fight to the table for your relationship. Ultimately, Yunho knows all he has to do is adjust and he'll be fine in the long run. Both of you will be fine in the long run.

But today, that feels like a stretch and he is short of patience. Unusually short of patience than usual. He knows you don't mean any harm but for some odd reason, today he feels like the world is going to swallow him alive and everything is triggering.

The first thing is the fact that he has to stay a bit later than usual to finish up a project he had been working on. He was hoping to rush home and spend some time with you before you were off to practice for the evening, spending 2-3 hours with your friends and the group.

That didn't happen.

So, when he gets home and you've already texted him saying you've left with a sad, crying face, he's bummed. He gets himself comfortable anyway, heating up a cup of ramen since he's not too hungry. Maybe he'll get some food with you when you're out— it's one of his favorite things to do.

Now, the second thing that makes him a little more irked is the fact that 2-3 hours go by and you haven't texted. He knows practice can run long, but it's also a little unusual for you to not keep him updated. You finally do a bit past 8pm with a quick:

you: hi baby, sorry! practice was a bit busy, i was caught up during breaks. i'll be home soon then i'll come over after i shower, okay? wait for me (: we should go on a food run! hehe

yunho: sounds good, love. i'll be here.

It closes to 9pm and Yunho isn't hungry anymore. The cup of ramen will do since there seems to be a dim chance of getting food with you, especially when you tell him you'll be over in a quick second but you’re still nowhere to be found. Yunho charges to the door anyway and is hoping to greet you when he swings the door open. Instead, he's greeted with you laughing and giggling with Hyunjin downstairs in the lot as he hands you a bag of to-go food.

Let's set the record straight— Yunho loves your friends. He knows he can trust them, and he knows they're all genuinely good people. He's always been happy you had a good group of people around you.

It's just today, he really, really missed you. After a long ass day. And he knows you [and Hyunjin] mean no harm in your actions, but he can't help but feel a tad bit insecure [and slightly jealous] that you aren't rushing over to see him after not being with him all day. He knows he can blame this on the fact that he's exhausted and a little short on patience. God knows he really did try to keep it cool and brush it off.

He couldn't help it.

Yunho shuts the door again, leaving it unlocked for whenever you feel ready to come upstairs and hang out with him. He sits on his computer chair, irritated, and throws on a game to distract himself momentarily. Maybe it'll help ease whatever he's feeling,

But, nope.

It doesn't.

Because when you walk in, you're still yelling out to Hyunjin and whoever before you shut the door, place the food on the counter and walk into his room. You throw your arms around him from behind and Yunho lets out a small, audible sigh. That was already alarming enough for you, but you still dip your head to the side and try to grab his attention.

"Hi." You place a quick, chaste quick to his cheek, but Yunho doesn't move.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Is all he says plainly. "I was just waiting for you."

"I know, but Hyunjin stopped by to give us food—"

"I thought we were gonna grab food together?"

"Oh." You frown because it completely slipped your mind, or else, you would've left the food at your own apartment to save it for tomorrow instead. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't think he was gonna swing by with food. We all left each other earlier without any plans of—"

"It's okay." He taps your arms as a signal for you to let go of him. "You should go eat."

"We can share, there's more than enough—"

"All good." It's petty of Yunho, he knows. For him, it's the fact that you told him you wanted to go on a food run after practice. Another small, but meaningful thing you two did often. He doesn't blame Hyunjin for anything at all, no. There was no way of preventing that, and who the fuck was he to make you reject food from a friend?

He just wished he could take you to get food. Watch you order your favorites and do your happy dance in his passenger's seat. It's another one of his favorite things.

"Yunho." You slowly step aside and sit on his bed, your appetite all of a sudden gone from how distant your boyfriend is being. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"It's fine."

"Is it really? Because something feels off and I wanna know what I did so I can fix it."

"It's nothing, Y/N." You almost flinch at the way he calls you your name instead of his cute endearing nicknames. It throws you off guard so much that you resort to a flimsy, broken:

"Okay." It's barely above a whisper. You stand to head back out to the kitchen, quietly eating a bit of Hyunjin's extra to-go thai food before setting some aside in a tupperware for Yunho and placing it in the fridge. The rest of the night goes.. like that.

In silence. With weird tension.

You hate it.

You wish you could just fix whatever you did wrong, or that Yunho would tell you no matter how 'silly' it may sound. He's always been so good with communicating, even during small disagreements, you weren't sure why he was avoiding it this time around.

You quietly get ready for bed, brushing your teeth and flossing before changing out of your sweats and hoodie to Yunho's shirt. You pad into the room, slipping yourself deep under the sheets and pull up some vlogs on Youtube that you need to catch up on.

"Tired?" Yunho asks from his computer chair, still playing his game.

"Mhm." You look at him, hoping he'd come over to kiss you, cuddle you. Shut off the computer and lay next to you, show you any kind of affection. He doesn't budge, though. You feel your bottom lip trembling, your heart slowly cracking in various places. You have to take a breath to prevent yourself from crying, and Yunho can feel it. He can feel your gaze on him, he can tell you're seconds away from crying. So, Yunho stands and shuts off his computer. But, he starts to head out to the living room and you're on the verge of breaking down. His way of avoiding the issue and getting more upset was to shut down. Deflect.

This wasn't like Yunho at all so you knew something was wrong; something was that bothersome to him.

"Baby." You call for him softly, and he just looks at you. You can tell he's conflicted between keeping this up and dropping it entirely, but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's not enough for him to drop it because his expression doesn't change. He still seems cold, distant. Tired. Unlike the Yunho you're so, so used to seeing and having.

"I'm just tired. Go to sleep."

"Where are you going?"

"The living room."

"Let me come with you."

"Y/N. Please go to sleep. I told you nothing was wrong." You watch the way his jaw slightly ticks before brushing you off completely and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. A loud sigh escapes his lips as he treads to the couch and plops onto it, leaning his head back onto the edge. He shuts his eyes, giving himself some time to sort through his feelings because what the fuck, Jeong Yunho?

He knows this is much needed, though. He needed to step away for a second to regroup. He doesn't want to unintentionally hurt you by saying or doing things that he doesn't mean. He's tired, and he's acting like a fucking baby because he just wanted you at so many points today— yet, the universe just didn't let him have you. That wasn't your fault.

None of this was your fault.

He needed to do better. Just because he was exhausted, didn't mean he had to act this way towards you.

"Yo." Yeosang walks through the door, dropping his duffle bag to the floor as he steps out of his shoes. "You good?" He furrows his brows at the sight of Yunho just resting his head back with his eyes shut close.

"Mhm."

"Where's Y/N?"

"In the room." Odd, Yeosang thinks. It's not like you two to be separated like this. It's pretty obvious Yunho is bothered by something and that you've probably gotten into a small fight over it. Yeosang isn't one to meddle much, especially when it's not his business to. But, he is concerned seeing his roommate like this. It's probably one of the rare times he ever sees Yunho upset.

"You sure everything's okay? I'm not really used to seeing you sitting out in the living room in silence like this." Yunho lets out a tiny chuckle that's barely audible, but he finally turns to Yeosang and purses his lips.

"I guess. Just exhausted lately."

"I bet. You've been working your ass off." Yeosang looks into the fridge before stepping away with a cold water bottle and heading towards Yunho. "Y/N put some food in there for you, by the way."

"Did she?"

"Yeah. It has a little sticky note on top." Of course you did, why wouldn’t you? You always thought about Yunho no matter what.

"Fuck."

"What?"'

"I've been such a dick to her tonight."

"What'd you do?"

"It's so stupid." Yunho begins to explain how his day has just been all over the place— from work, to staying late and not being able to see you before practice, no updates until 3+ hours after practice, looking forward to a food run that didn't end up happening because of Hyunjin. All Yeosang can do is laugh a bit and shake his head.

"Dude, we all have bad days. It's inevitable. You're still adjusting so don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard going from a routine you were so used to, especially with Y/N. Then, having to switch it up and play tetris with your time. It's not easy. But also, I'm sure Y/N has been feeling the same way. She's just doing what she can to support you first and foremost. She'd never hurt you intentionally, and I know she'd always choose you in the end." Yunho's head drops as he leans onto his knees and sighs again.

"Fuck, you're right. I don't know why today was so difficult. I guess it all piled on for me and I didn't know how to sort through it."

"All good. Shit happens." Yeosang shrugs. "Anyway. I'm gonna head to bed. You should probably do the same. I know she's probably waiting for you."

"Thanks." Yeo gives him a little dap before he's off to get comfy and end his day. Yunho stays on the couch for a few more minutes before he brushes his teeth and washes up for bed. He stands in the bathroom for a few more seconds before gaining the courage to finally talk to you about everything that's been going on today. When he walks in, you're still bundled under the sheets, but your phone is against the wall and a video is playing. He can hear you sniffling through the video though, and he knows you've been crying.

God dammit, Yunho.

"Baby?" You hear Yunho softly call your name as he slips into bed and wraps his arms around you.

"Mhm?" You respond, still facing away from him.

"Can we talk?" You sigh and exit the video, locking your phone before turning towards Yunho and setting your phone onto the table.

"Don't force yourself if you aren't ready to."

"I am, and I'm sorry." He looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and it instantly feels like you have your loving, incredibly sweet and attentive boyfriend back.

"What happened?"

"I don't really know. To be honest, I don't have that great of an explanation. I was just tired and I was really looking forward to seeing you before practice. I couldn't see you then because of work, so I was even more excited to see you after practice and to go on our run together. But, you came later and the whole thing with Hyunjin—" He pauses and shakes his head. "It was so stupid and childish of me. I didn't need to act that way, and I'm so sorry I was such a dick to you over that." You cup his cheek and caress the surface with your thumb.

"You should've just told me, babe."

"It's so dumb, though?" He furrows his brows, mainly at himself.

"Nothing is dumb. Whatever hurts you, hurts me. We're in this together, remember? We're on the same team. I just need you to communicate and be honest, like you always tell me. Okay? I'll do anything to fix it and make it better. I'm your safe space like you are mine."

"I know." He leans into your touch before placing a soft kiss to your palm. "I'll do better."

"We have our bad days and that's okay. It won't make me love you any less. Tell me if you need space or if you need anything from me. I want you to be happy and comfortable."

"I know."

"Okay. And I'm sorry about the food run. I promise I'll keep my end of it next time."

"Wasn't your fault, baby. Nothing could have prevented that." You give him a tiny, toothless smile before kissing the tip of his nose.

"Are we okay?" He nods.

"I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” He repeats before leaning in to peck you on the lips. He holds the kiss before parting and looking you in the eye, brushing the hair away from your face. He dips in for another kiss— this time, it's deeper. More passionate. His hand comes down to the small of your back as he presses against you, slipping his tongue in to fight for dominance against yours. The kiss is so full of love and neediness, but there's no push or pressure to make anything out of it.

So, Yunho continues to kiss you. Pushing up against you ever so slightly while parting from your lips to leave a trail across your jaw.

Your chin.

Your neck.

Back up to your lips.

He loves the way you softly sigh in content, listening to him repeatedly whisper 'I love you' against your lips. Into your neck. Across your jaw. He loves the way you gently bite onto his bottom lip as a way of asking for more. He loves the way your fingers tug on the ends of his hair, the way you press your lips against his cheek, forehead, nose. The way you caress his cheeks and never let him go.

It's amongst the many on his list of favorite things.

He continues to coo you and praise you in between kisses throughout the night, smiling while hearing your giggles and smothering you with more kisses until you find yourself getting sleepy. He holds you close and sings a soft lullaby, playing with your hair as you drift off to sleep with the cutest smile on your face. He can’t help but admire you, fighting the exhaustion that’s been hitting him all week for a little longer. He fights it until he can’t anymore but fuck it, it’s all worth it.

Because sitting at the very top of his favorites list is you.

⇢ permanent taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[spinchip]

ok so i LOVE Dot but she clearly needs to be taken away from you. the NEVER REALM ARC????? ALL 60 YEARS????? calling CSP they have your location >:(

legit though why would you do her like that 😭

would she even be the kind of person to jump in front of wu like that? tbh thought she had better preservation skills then Zane (and the other ninja tbh they all love dyin fr)

She jumped in the pear wriggler herself officer I swear

Lets talk about the Mirror of dread to maybe explain some of Dots motivations. When she looks in the mirror all she sees is her own reflection. In her ninja suit, with her missing leg and her missing eye. Her greatest fear is that all she is as a person is a sum of all the choices she didn't get to make. Every aspect of her life was derailed by events out of her control- she's a cancer survivor, a victim of the great devourer, and the Ninja of ice. all of those things were forced upon her. She wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. She wanted to get married and have children and live a normal, suburban life but that was not in the cards for her.

I think she tends to make questionable choices because at least she has some sort of control that way. Standing by while Wu is blasted by Aspheera doesn't feel like a choice to her. It feels like inaction. Its another awful moment in her life, but at least now she can actually do something about it. She doesn't know the consequences. She just thinks to herself "I can save him." And chooses to try. Dot wants her life so bad. She wants it to be her own, not dictated constantly by the world around her. Unfortunately it leads her to more pain, but her story isn't over yet! She will get a happy ending.

This also brings up an interesting thought- what was Zane really trying to do in that scene? Was he trying to sacrifice himself? Or did the Staff inflate his sense of invincibility, and he dove in front of Wu intending on using the staff to deflect the blow and fail? The latter is how I see Dots approach to the moment. It was always about Saving someone, not sacrificing yourself in their stead.

It's 1 am I might come back tomorrow and touch on the topic again bc I love dot she's so complex but those are my thoughts rn

[zeephyre]

CR3: EPISODE 63 SPOILERS

I'm literally losing my mind rn guys

i haven't even finished the episode yet as im typing this, currently ashton is holding laudna as she cries on their shoulder after she sucked the life out of bor'dor.

i always had the suspicion that bor'dor wasn't telling the truth or telling a version of the truth, but i never really talked about it cause everyone was throwing out theories. i had an...inkling that he was connected to ludinus or just ruidus in general, and i was right in a way.

him being ruby vanguard is devastating but not surprising. it connected so many things that i chose to brush off cause i didn't want to seem paranoid. a specific moment being bor'dor killing the angel of the dawn father. during that scene, the way matt described the look in that angel's eyes as it died did not match the way that bor'dor retold it and i thought i had just...forgotten how the actual scene played out. now that i know, even tho i haven't rewatched that episode, i have a feeling that the hatred and righteous judgement i remembered was the accurate version.

i don't think bor'dor is bad, simply because i have no way to come to that conclusion when i know how easy it is to let fear and pain and anger drive you to vengeance -- the hellians are feeling it too, and i feel deep compassion for them so i feel for bor'dor too.

for all of ludinus' preachy bullshit he never gave me the impression that he gave a single fuck about the people who followed him or about the lives he ruined to accomplish his goal. i don't think bor'dor was some big wig, i think he was just a kid who was vulnerable and powerful and easily coerced. i do not think he is without blame -- his actions with the ruby vanguard have led to incomprehensible repercussions for everyone on exandria and outside of exandria too. (bear in mind, we don't even know how the apple bee's soul cycle has affected the fey realm -- or any other realms for that matter).

i think that there was no way bor'dor could have survived this night with the way it went. i don't think there could have been a moment where he snuck away. if he got a lucky roll, maybe. i don't think bor'dor died because /he/ was an unforgivable monster.

he died because laudna, ashton and orym were at their breaking point and none of them wanted to pull each other from that place of hatred and anger. they've spoken about feeling powerless -- terrified and angry at the situation they were forced into when they truly have nothing to do with ludinus' anger at the gods. orym, especially, has been struggling with his grief and his stubbornness, and this moment will have effects on all of them for these upcoming battles and hardships.

laudna. jesus christ. im so upset that delilah is back. or at least pieces of her are thriving inside laudna, seemingly every time she uses her necrotic magic. for a single moment, she felt delilah's complete control over herself and other people in a situation where laudna had no idea what to do and how to get shit done, and as soon as delilah had nothing left of bor'dor to scavenge off of, laudna was back to feeling weak.

i can't even process the lore drops of ashton's heritage and his father and the history of the hishari and the fact that abadina WAS an hishari ???? they need to go that cursed town soon or im gonna lose it. hell, maybe they're already headed there.

deni$e might say she didn't care whether bor'dor lived or died but i know that isn't true because she was a) the only person who didn't actually hurt him and b) she was trying the entire time to get the others to at least interrogate him. i don't think that would work for multiple reasons. bor'dor was yeeted to kingdom come so bor'dor would likely not have anything useful for them atp, and also bor'dor is absolutely not nearly as important to ludinus as they need him to be.

im gonna miss utkarsh 😭

i think that maybe if bells hells was together, he'd live. but ashton, laudna and orym are too... there's something dangerous about these three being separated from their people. dangerous for themselves mentally and for anyone who stands in their way. i NEED bells hells to be reunited again.

it's sad that the characters with such a strong history of loss and betrayal and abandonment and grief and loss of control would have the traitor amongst them. there is nothing that bor'dor could say that would lessen the pain orym feels having lost his husband and his father, of him and his friends being killed by a cruel, vicious comrade of ludinus', of the tempest being trapped /because/ orym was the one who led her straight into it. the gods are all good and well, but i don't think it will EVER be about the gods for orym. i won't say he's correct or in the right for his narrowed vision and hardened heart. he took that locket for a reason, and throwing it aside is a calculated disposal of that inherently inconvenient empathy orym has for people around him. he can't afford to feel. not now.

[justyourtypicalwriter]

service dog au hcs because i cant be normal about them?? 👀

Kyle: 👻🫂💔🌟

Stan: 🎶👽💤😶

Kenny: 👻🎶🦾💔

Clyde: 💤🦾🥇😶

Butters: 👽💔💄😶

Cartman: 👻👽😺😶

Craig: 👻🦾🌟😶

Tweek: 👽🫂🍫😶

sorry its a lot 😭 if youd rather not do any feel free not to lmao

Oh my fucking god this took me way longer than it should have😭-

tw for slight talk of suicide

Kyle: 

👻 - OOH OKAY. Now, I could get REALLY into this with a multitude of different things but the main one has got to be not having control. It’s why he hates being “sick” and hates the aspect of having a service dog for a while. He can’t control when he’ll have a P.O.T.S flare up, he can’t control when he’ll have a bad high or low, he can’t control his tolerance to taking food by mouth nor can he control if it’ll trigger a flashback of some sorts. Mainly, he can’t control where he is on the dependency scale. Kyle needs someone to be there for extra supervision, as much as Noble has benefited him. But at the same time, Kyle is a very stubborn, independent person. He doesn’t want some constant dependency on someone. He has no control over his physical or mental health so he craves control over other factors in life so he doesn’t feel like such an unstable mess.

🫂 - Picking someone for this one was tricky but I think I’m gonna talk about Kyle and Tweek’s relationship while I have this. I see Tweek and Kyle as staying kind of close after Tweek was in their group. They help each other out, especially after Tweek is placed with the Broflovski’s during their senior year. Kyle shows Tweek some distraction techniques he’s picked up on and Tweek works with Kyle to find innovative ways to help him slowly regain some of his independence.

💔 - Such bad emetophobia. It’s not really bad when he’s not the one vomiting though. The ARFID really fucks him over. There was a short period of time where he went on and off the nasal tube, I wanna say like every now and then from 11-13. He really thought he was getting better…he wasn’t. The summer of freshman year is when he really started going downhill at a rapid pace. Just the thought of eating could send him vomiting. Sometimes it’s only for a few minutes, sometimes it's an hour plus.  It hurts, it makes him feel horrible and it happens so often. More often than not he’s shaking, hunched over the toilet bowl either fighting back or in tears. And the poor thing is left exhausted and feeling absolutely disgusting afterwards.

🌟 - This one’s a fun one too. He wants to travel, see the world you know? He’s been so coddled most of his life that he never got the proper chance to but he’s determined to make it happen. 

Stan: 

🎶 - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HoLXMmVuoMXPGbTHk7zvL?si=g9r63piOQz2thQKgmXJ3zg&pi=u-Kr5cAidHSeya (I’m jamming to this rn lmao)

👽 - I’m not sure if this counts as a quirk, I mean I kind of feel like it falls under a personality quirk but has a tendency to react emotionally to some things at times while at other times he could give less of a shit.

💤 - Sleep? WHERE?!? (but for some reason he sleeps perfectly fine when a certain redhead is nearby…*cough* fags *cough*)

😶 - This crusty ass emo wet cat looking bitch LOVES dance. Ballet in particular. He rocks gothic ballet routines but he’ll dance to anything. Just him and his fucking black point shoes. If it weren’t for the crippling depression he’d be unstoppable. And no one suspected that he dances until the kids are like thirteen when Stan was bored out of his mind while the gang was at Starks Pond and started doing a bunch of fun tricks to entertain himself. The rest of the groups standing there, jaws on the floor, minds blown because since when did Stanley fucking Marsh know how to do this.

Kenny:

👻 - Losing a loved one, whether it’s a family or friends. Kenny is immortal, he’s gonna keep coming back, but the others? Any health scare, accident, or attempt of someone worries him a lot. It’s why he always has his bag of shit, he’s so worried about losing someone.

🎶 - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3lhm5rFXq1TXuMUKDiptuI?si=CY4XjCHAQr-fxXDHwQ4dlw&pi=u-E6jLyFZgTFam 

🦾 - Muscular Dystrophy & Chronic Pain (live, laugh, love chronic pain Kenny)

💔 - Okay, okay this one’s more of the concept is angsty when you think of it, but Kenny himself could give less of a shit. Kenny in this au is relatively happy, I mean yeah being chronically ill sucks total ass but he’s chilling with it. The only thing is that Kenny kills himself a lot. He’s ever curious and loves to see what happens. He ends up hanging in Hell with Damien for a while before being sent back and before he knows it he’s wondering “hm, wonder if that’ll happen again-“

Clyde: 

💤 - Clyde has a rocky sleep schedule. His health issues aren’t the reason for it though, it’s Fable. As mentioned in a previous post, she’s a little demon shit and has an ungodly amount of energy. Clyde finds this hysterical until it’s time to get up for school and he’s only slept like three hours.

🦾 - Clyde’s disability for the au is still being debated! Suggestions are currently open!

🥇 - I have a general headcanon that Clyde is really good at videography! Which, for all my Tyde girlies, falls into one of my general headcanons for Tolkien which is script writing. They make short films together and his biggest accomplishment is that one of their films won first place in their school's film contest.

😶 - He’ll play outside in the snow for HOURS. Even more now than when he was a kid since he’s got Fable. Clyde will just take her out for hours and they’ll have the time of their lives.

Butters:

👽 - Yet another personality quirk: Butters always has a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm for someone who’s been through so much shit in his life. He’s an optimist, it’s what draws people in.

💔 - Okay I just really love antagonizing his parents so so much. Haven is owner trained, Butters bought her himself when he was thirteen. When she was still a puppy something minor happens and Steven isn’t very happy about it so he fucking SELLS her. And Butters is so heartbroken. He only had this dog for a week and suddenly she’s just ripped away. It’s actually Cartman (for the most part) who helps him get her back. 

💄 - I know this one’s really basic but I adore giving Butters his eye scar from ‘Fun With Weapons”. It’s very intimidating but Butters is just a silly, goofy guy. 

😶 - Y’know those Instagram and Etsy shops that sell custom service dog gear? Butters is really into sewing and he runs one! Giving gifts has never been easier, he just makes them a new piece of gear.

Cartman: 

👻 - As much as I love antagonizing Cartman, I love when he has a soft spot for the main four (+Butters) a lot more. So if anyone’s acting out of character it lowkey has him shook. And with good reason, the gang has trauma from finding Stan post suicide attempt. It baffled Cartman since Stan had been acting more than okay for the past week. The bastard cares for his friends although he’ll never fucking tell them so he’s been paying attention to behavior changes ever since, even if they’re minor.

👽 - I’m actually gonna go dive a little deeper into the heterochromia thing. So if my memory is serving me correctly, the eye comes from Kenny so it’s blue. But every so often it has a purplish hue to it for a short period of time. Oh so conveniently, our favorite little poor boy is freshly back from Hell and his eye color has shifted from blue to a freakishly violet shade.

😺 - Oooooh y’all really want me to yap about Dolly. Firstly, she’s so soft. Like her fur was already soft but being that Cartman takes such good care of her, her fur is probably as good as it can get. He’s so gentle with her and she absolutely adores him. As for the rest of the kids: she’s not overly eager to go up to them but she likes them. Except for Kyle she fucking HATES him. 

😶 - Unfortunately Cartman is severely underdeveloped at the moment due to him being the most recent addition to the au so I literally don’t have anything else to say about him.

Craig: 

👻 - I feel like all of these fears have been really angsty but Craig’s is just spiders. They creep him the fuck out. Also high school musical-

🦾 - Epilepsy!

🌟 - It’s really a matter of what he wants to do first. He doesn’t act like it but Craig is really ambitious. Working in something with space is always something he’s wished to do. But he’s also into music (a mix of Tweek and Stan’s fault) and wants to learn violin. 

😶 - I love headcanoning that Craig has piercings so let’s jazz this up for the au a bit. In his late teen years he was (illegally) denied service at various piercing parlors because of Saturn. So he self teaches himself how to (semi) safely do piercings without being a professional and does them for his friends if they want.

Tweek: 

👽 - Second physical quick of the ask but it’s freckles! I love giving Tweek freckles but the ones that are barely visible at any time that’s not summer. That’s when they come out. 

🫂 - I already talked about his relationship with Kyle so let’s talk about Tweek and Clyde. I only just started playing around with their dynamic a few weeks ago while writing a bunch of Staig drabbles. It’s always really funny to me because you’ve got paranoid sarcasm meets hyperactive sensitivity.

🍫 - What a little stress baker! He can’t cook for shit but the boy sure can bake. And he like over bakes too. He doubles the recipe almost every time. It used to be easy to get rid of the extras, he’d just take them to the shop so they could be sold. But after the meth bust he’d basically ding-dong-ditch his friends and leave baskets of baked goods on their doorsteps. 

😶 - Him, Kenny, Kyle, and Bebe all drove out of Colorado for the weekend when they were seventeen because they all needed a break. They stayed at an inn for the weekend and no one knew where they went. So yeah, they were having the time of their lives while everyone back home was losing their shit.

feel free to ask if you want elaborations!

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

so curious why sylus has you this hooked when he's so different from xavier and the guys you tend to like

RIGHT OK i was going to not be as unhinged over him on the dash as i truly was being in my head, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED.... buckle up anonie bc this is LONG long <3

ok but honestly genuinely i don't account for my lane switch to be official at the moment, bc on account of visually, given what we know? i'm still v much into xavier! and we just. don't know anything else set in stone about sylus yet!

and all this has honestly WAY less to do with how he looks or how he portrays the villain aesthetic, which i know is what like- ive been seeing most people attached to. he has the vibes from that trailer, undeniably, but it's also really not why i'm so interested in him—

as much as the why.

as much as the how.

as much as the how far.

so i guess you could say i'm just hella on my toes rn for the potential?

in my head he has very much of a morally grey anti-hero trope; arguably right intentions, wrong methods, sort of a thing. enough so that he'd become the villain, instead of trying to play hero in some way like the others—enough so that, whether he chose to be this way at first or not, he did grow to the need for there to be a stronger catalyst that can be selfish, that doesn't care so much for morals or being "good".

and when you put that into perspective, it means he didn't start out with that kind of mindset.

so what pushed him so far? what was the breaking point? why did he turn to this path? and how different did he will himself to become just to achieve all of this?

then simultaneously it makes you think, like. what about mc would make him need her so much, love her so much, possibly obsess over, that he would turn his back on those convictions just to love her? and then like,,,,, to think about how his world could come crashing under the realization of his love for her, through all he's done and has been doing? how he'd struggle with his emotions and his actions and how to be affectionate with her in a manner that's genuine yet still acceptable? the intensity of it all that he has to learn to control... and then the gentleness that could eventually be found amidst whatever passion or desperation there probably is in that love?

and you'll find this absolutely the fuck out of pocket from me of all people because "wtf? roxie? being soft on main instead?!" but he does feel like the type to slow dance with in the kitchen at midnight, to walk barefoot on the pavement back home after a long day, shoes in your hands, lamplight flickering above you... and not in like, a goofy sort of way? but just? the vibes of pure, possibly intense, sort of love? like. like running his fingers theough your hair waiting for you to fall asleep first, watching the way the moonlight scatters on your face as you do. or looking into your eyes trying to convey something with such ardor and fervency; maybe it's a plea, maybe it's love or aftection or adoration, maybe it's determined.... you get it.

it's the vibes.

it's the possibilities that come with the vibes. it's the possibilities of how he could be, given that the situation and the set-up and the vibes that we can glean from the trailer open up so many options.

so to me it feels like there's like an 85% chance i might fall head over heels for him.

you say he doesn't have the trope of the fictional characters i tend to like; you have not yet seen me cry over wei wuxian, or khun, or blackwater, or moriarty... 😭✋

and like.

we'll still see, obviously, if this is enough to pull me away from xavier, but—if i like the depth in his character? if i like his development? if i like his backstory? if i like his portrayal, if i like his relationship with mc and how their love story is portrayed? then... maybe. it's still a maybe, because we don't know anything yet, but it's a pretty strong maybe.

[dandyshucks]

i feel like i should say something, some kind of apology or smth, idk ^^;;

i would looove to say that i won't display symptoms ever again or that i'll "do better" to keep it under control but honest to god i am doing my absolute best already, and the only way i could do better w my current state is to get medicated but that's not an option rn (this small town only has one psychiatrist and he's ... not good at what he does. sigh). i will of course continue to try very hard and keep working on things the way that i can and look for new ways of tackling the brain scaries and coping with it!

my main way i've been dealing w trying not to display symptoms publicly is just to err on the side of extreme caution and try not to post anything here that isn't strictly "i love this fictional character teehee", but sometimes i feel stifled by that rule and want to connect w ppl on more than just "yayy my bouyfriend". like i want to be Me but ,, i think Me is probably just,,, not all that great ^^;;;; so i'm thinking maybe it'd be best if i just take a step back again and go on a mostly-hiatus for a while until i get the welfare and disability stuff sorted out (but that could take. several months. so idk 😭😭) bc its been rly having a bad effect on my mental health and stability, ack !!

i also feel like i need to tell everyone that they do not Need to interact w me or respond to anything i say ever, that you should only do so if u Want to, not because u feel Obligated to, but that implies that i would ever have the power over someone to be able to "make" them feel like they have to do smth and that in itself is an egotistical thought which is "bad". so. gestures vaguely at this paragraph. i just have to sit and hope that nobody feels like they Must interact w me in any way, but i do not know how to express it without sounding dismissive or ungrateful or presumptuous or egotistical. when i say "i appreciate this!" it's just that - i appreciate it, but i do not expect it, so please don't feel pressured ever!

anyways, i appreciate the patience and kindness ppl show me (though i do not expect it dsfjkl) and i will continue trying to keep the unwell brain stuff under wraps as much as i'm able to (and i absolutely understand if ppl cannot deal w that and leave! i won't be offended!). i haven't actually said sorry in this but do know i feel badly about it and i'm trying to figure out how to fix this so it doesnt happen more, i just dont know if a "sorry" is really any use here fdsjkl

[prythianpages]

ACOTAR Tag Game

Thank you for the tag! @ninthcircleofprythian (you tagged my main but I'll post it on here <3 I also promise I didn't just copy & paste, we just have very similar minds bc I agreed with you on most of these lol)

Answer the questions below & tag whoever you want, or make it an open tag!!

Who's your favourite ACOTAR character?

Do I have to pick? It's so hard! But since I'm in my Eris era, I'll go with him rn.

Who's your least favourite character?

It's between Mor or Amren. Idk, I just don't really vibe with them as much.

Say something nice about your least favourite character.

I did like that Amren gave Feyre that ruby or jewelry to give her the courage to go back to the prison. That was sweet of her 🥹 & Mor for taking Feyre away from Spring.

Who's your favourite High Lord? (If you picked one for your fav character, then who's your second fav!)

It's also Helion. He seems like such a good time (; like mans has the best library in prythian and glorious thighs??? c'mon now

Favourite MINOR character?

The Suriel. I loooooove gossip and would literally just summon them for the tea.

Favourite ship? (Crackships included!)

Azris hehe. They'd be so hot together.

Favourite court and why?

This is hard to answer when SJM hasn't given us much info about other courts 😭 So I think I'd have to pick Summer Court because I love the ocean and if there are mermaids, it's over for me there. I love them!

Make up a brand new court RIGHT NOW, NO PREP JUST VIBES.

OOhh! Umm...idk what I would name it but it would be nice if there was a court inspired by Dia De Los Muertos/ Day of the Dead. Like an underworld type of court where the High Lord/Lady there can helping the souls of prythian after they die and somehow it's associated with Starfall. Marigold Court? idk lol Like I said lame name but cool concept.

What relationship would you have wanted to see more of in the books?

Honestly, I would sell my soul for a pre-ACOTAR book that focuses on the Bat Boy friendship. Like when Cas mentioned waking up naked with some decoration around him? And Az hiccuping when drunk?? I NEED to know more.

What's your unpopular opinion?

Idek if this is unpopular but I do feel for Tamlin. He did fuck up but given other characters have also fucked up, I really hope he gets a redemption arc or is able to pick himself up. Like dude is really going through it and so are his people, someone pls save Spring I also kinda wished Amren had stayed dead. I don't hate her character but it felt too good to be true when both her and Rhys died and then they came back to life. It would've had more impact if one of them stayed dead.

What's your favourite headcanon/fan canon?

Right now? These body headcannons from @readychilledwine

If you were to be swept away to Prythian, what's ONE thing you would want to do?

I would want to experience Starfall with the IC. I love looking at the sky, especially stars and the moon and with all those hotties? Sign me tf up.

If you could have ONE faerie ability seen in the books, which would it be?

I would love to control water! Blame my mermaid fascination & h2O tv show addiction for this haha. But also making water wolves sounds so cool.

no pressure tags: @stormhearty, @daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @sarawritestories, @sillysillygoose444,

@acotarxreader, @pit-and-the-pen, @lady-of-tearshed

[trans-advice]

hi! i’m afab and questioning if i’m trans. i live in the us and with everything going on rn it’s not the best time to be realizing that lmao. but anyway, i’m a minor and my parents are pretty accepting. the trans thing started really recently, like a couple weeks ago. i had a different gender crisis a year ago and some gender feelings on and off since then but none have been as bad as this. i’ve been going back and forth between lesbian and bisexual for a few years and i finally had the courage to come out to my parents as a lesbian about a month ago, but now i’m pretty sure i’m bisexual and trans in some way 😭 i’m scared if i come out again too soon they’ll think it’s a phase. i can’t tell whether i’m trans or not. i have a pretty small chest compared to most but i still wish it was flat. my best friend is a trans guy and i find myself getting really jealous of him because i wish i could just be perceived as a boy (or at least not as a girl). my name and being called she/her has always sorta felt weird to me, not really bad but just like i’m dissociated from it or something. i really don’t feel like a girl at all, but this all started so recently and i felt decently feminine before, and i never really showed any childhood signs of being trans (besides maybe wanting to be a couple different male fictional characters when i was like 12), so i’m scared it’s a phase and i’m just faking it. i don’t trust myself to figure it out accurately, it’s like i need someone to tell me i’m trans in order to not feel like i’m a fake. i feel like if i really were trans i should have known from a younger age. plus, i feel really bad about potentially changing my name and pronouns (even tho i kinda want to) because it’s just gonna be an inconvenience to everyone i know to have to remember to call me something different. sorry this is so long, i know it’s kinda a mess but general advice would be helpful lmao. thanks for running this blog!

IDK how safe coming out is for you, so I do want you to keep your safety in mind more than I want you to prioritize the convenience of others. People in general when they don't want to be inconvenienced just don't get involved. If they're involved enough & it's a safe environment & relationship, then adding the living name & pronouns probably isn't a problem. If they're not involved though then they probably won't even try to learn or remember your name.

As for explaining the difference between sexual orientation & gender identity to your parents, gender identity is everywhere where sexual orientation is more focused on the bedroom. Say when you went with the affirmation of lesbian that it ended up not affirming everything. Like to be fair, trans men are part of the sapphic community because the oppression against trans people (which includes nonbinary people) is more intense than that against being a woman instead of a man.

People's gender identity can change over time & that's fine. Such matters are out of our control. The point is to affirm which ever gender identity you have.

I would probably start with creating online accounts that affirm your gender identity & some same (possibly an alias) that sounds cool to you. Then search for spaces where lgbtqia+ people are welcome, then search for spaces where lgbtqia+ people aren't kicked out. Whether these are online or in-person, keep an eye out for safety procautions.

Good Luck, Peace & Love,

Eve

[depressopax]

If I may? Headcanons of Mike with an s/o who is a soft dom like him. I wanna spoil that old man and make him feel loved ok. Please and thank you<3.

Thanks for the request!! I LOVE THIS IDEA <3 Jfc I wanna make this man feel loved rn 😭❤

Being Mike Ehrmantrauts soft dom - Headcanons

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Pairing: Mike Ehrmantraut x gn!reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. Sub!Mike + dom!reader, degradation, praise kink, mentions of choking etc. (Lmk if I missed something) Words: 900 Summary: Being a soft dom for Mike would include… English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 AO3 link

Just like you, Mike likes being in charge

In bed, he wants to dom and be on top of you.

He feels the most comfortable when he has control of a situation

It’s probably because of past as an ex-cop, and the work he does for Gus -

He feels like he always needs to be in control of whatever situation he’s in, and act a certain way. Kinda scared to “let down his guard”

He’s been through a lot and often feels like he has no control over life - but in bed, he can easily dominate his partner and regain that feeling.

When you told Mike you wanted to dominate him, he just laughed.

…Until he realized you were being serious.

“No.”“But… Mike!”“No.”“Just once?”“No.”

He’s not the one to give up his power so easily.

He has a rough exterior, even in bed.

He wouldn’t tell you so, but he does find the thought of being dominated appealing.

Somehow, you manage to make him agree - and switch it up a little bit.

“Only once. Never again”…Or so he says, before realizing how much he likes being under your control.

The feeling of having you on top whilst fucking him was new to him, and such an amazing feeling.

He liked the way he could just rest back and have someone take care of him. 

He’d find it “humiliating” at first, to be slutted out by his partner

But then realized how much he liked it

…The humiliating feeling only made it more enjoyable, tbh.

Though he appreciates you being a soft dom, he doesn’t mind you being rough with him.

Letting you dominate him made him realize a few things.

For example: - Mike enjoys when you degrade him. Call him a “needy bitch”, he’ll go feral. - He likes challenging your authority over him, acting like a dom, even when he’s submissive under you, especially when you punish him for having an attitude. - Speaking of punishments? Mike likes them. He even goes as far as testing your limits, until you punish him for whatever he did.

Just remember to praise him, too.

He’s almost embarrassed by how much it turns him on to have you calling him “good boy”

Homeboi def has both a praising- AND degradation kink.

Seeing you in charge is hot. 

He’s used to having you being his submissive and this new side excites him. 

It’s a turn on to have you bossing him around and having you being soft and loving, or rough and dominant. 

He doesn’t mind you using toys on him, if you’re into that.

But he doesn’t really like pain inflicted.

Some light choking, slapping, spanking etc… You name it, is ok to him (only if he’s the one receiving it), if he gets some good aftercare and rewards of course.

After a long rough day at work, he just wants to come home and have you do him until he’s too exhausted to think.

You jokingly call him “Needy slut” when he practically begs you to do him, but little did you know he actually is. And he’s not ashamed of it ;)

When you dom him, he’d probably be quiet at first, not wanting to moan too much

But you pretty much demanded him to be loud lmao

Mike will be moaning, cussing and whimpering for you, especially if you overstimulate or edge him.

Just edge him and he’ll whimper ;)

He is very obedient, well, most of the time at least.

He does like being “bratty” and disobeying your orders, only to make you mad. 

But in most cases, he obeys.

“Kneel” is all you have to say, and then watch him drop to his knees, crawling up to you. - Nah but imagine sitting on the couch with your legs spread - Mike kneeling between them, looking up at you as he caresses your legs - Him looking up at you with admiration, waiting for orders from you - And then watching him go down on you, working passionately to please you… - Probably would come undone just from going down on you. - OGMFMKNGSFNGF-

Of course, he still wants some “attention” too, which you give him - …But he’ll have to beg for it - He loves receiving heads from you, and knowing that you like satisfying him. - Nah but fr, you of course take care of his needs too.

You’d have a safeword for him to use, but he hasn’t used it yet.

There’s something satisfying with seeing you be cruel and rough in bed

Seeing your rough exterior boyfriend be all soft and submissive in bed is a very pleasant sight.

Though you said it was a “one-time thing”, It stays that way. 

Mike going from being dominant and cold in the bedroom - to being a whimpering mess under your control.

He’s yours to use, however you please… 

Because once comfortable with being a sub, he has no intentions of doing things differently, unless you tell him to, of course…

He loves foreplay and aftercare as much as he likes the main event - where you fuck him up.

…But most of all, he’s a slut for some good aftercare.

Which you are more than happy to give him.

Just cuddling up to him, whispering praise and making him feel appreciated and loved <33

You love praising him afterwards and show mow much he means to you.

Because, the dom-side away - you love him dearly and he deserve love.

You make sure he’s ok.

“I hope I didn’t break your hip or something, old man” “...Funny.”“You know I love you”“I love you too…”(I’m sorry 😭💀)

Mike being very affectionate towards you too

You’re his dom after all, and he just wants to make you proud, happy and be your good boy ;)

Idk how I feel about this one lolol but I hope you enjoyed <3

[silusvesuius]

hold on i'm about tos tart spitting facts right now, My nelvas in t*lltale twd setting i was thinking about for a bit; as i said........... they have a perfect imbalanced dynamic dats fun to play with so they obviously would do 'Good' in a zombie apocalypse too......UUUUUUUUUUUU 😭UUWAH😭WWWWWWA😭AHHHHHHHH NELVAAS anyways:

i just spent minutes writing a calmer caption for this but tumblr threw that take away so we're left with what we have above. anyways i wrote most of this riding a high. 🤗

first off talvas always gives me spiraling med student vibes so that's what he is. he's like ~24 as i always label him, so probably getting a masters. that won't matter soon though lol. something to do with surgery so that it's convenient to the setting and his 'role' in a group. (logically it would make more sense for him to be into engineering and such, but that's not alldat interesting for this or any setting at all imo)

and then obviously neloth wud be a professor perhaps or just someone talvas sees on the regular for educational purposes. i'm just gonna say he's pushing 70 but still not retired for some reason (he's a Tryhard). i honestly get the feeling he would carry the same level annoyance people get from Larry of s1 except he doesn't really start fights + has no actual 'good' reason to be that unbearable unlike Larry, who did have crumbs of a tragic past/loss. he's big on researching stuff at his own alone time and has an extensive record of abusing and testing on animals i BET! but it gets covered up pretty easily, or no one really wants to get into that debacle with him. everyone knows that if he could he'd test on people too.

i'm not gonna start making up entire lifestories rn so let's get to the zombie part. they obviously end up together involuntarily, talvas isn't really overjoyed but doesn't detest it either, since he respects neloff deeply and trusts his judgement (sometimes). neloth just keeps him around because he knows he can't just be walking around free at his old age in an apocalyptic world and needs a meat-shield with him at all times, especially someone young that has more energy/physical abilities than him. but obviously talvas is not always able to be big help to him just cause he's pretty "Soft" and wasn't ever prepared for anything like this. he's still stressing over his finals or soemthing bruh. they develop a strong 'bond' @ some point just cause neloth isn't liked by anyone and nobody is actually willing to stick with him thru it all but talvas. just bc it's easy for him to cling onto someone that reminds him of the normal past. when neloth realizes that someone is willing to look past his nasty behavior or practices, or is just afraid to voice their own opinion, he starts being pretty open with that person (talvas in this case), a form of trust. it's not just cause talvas is a lil bitch, but also cause he himself shares some opinions that neloth has on other people's lives/their worth/morality. it's something that would stick out from his personality in any setting at all but here it's even more important from all the deaths happening around them, especially when they're grouped up with other people. their apocalypse journey is just 90% talvas trying to do damage control and apologizing for neloth's behavior by saying he has a (NPD) diagnosis he has never taken care of before the whole zombie thing happened so u should be patient with him

so obvi the best part of this all would definitely be seeing how they would gel with a group of other survivors. it's funny too because talvas is literally always the only reason nobody throws neloth out to die or just blows his head off clean bc they had enough. talvas takes on the role of a medic like Katt in s1, and is 'high ranking' just cause of that. neloth is a 1000001% even more capable of taking on that role, but i just Know......he would just refuse to do it cus he doesn't feel like it. he'd probably try and separate himself from the group or any discussions they might have because he doesn't value anyone's opinion on anything at all. the only thing keeping him in a group would be talvas begging him to stay (neloth not being able to separate from him for reasons listed above) and him finding something to do to keep himself occupied. and Happy at that 😍 it goes like this: (talvas voice) hey remember your wife that turned last week so we had to put her down ? Yes about that i;m sorry to bring her up, Yeah stop crying i'm sorry, anyways as i was saying.. Sir neloth dug her out of that grave and is currently ripping of her skin tidbits to lab test them, just thought you should know.. don't tell him i told you anything please he'll get really mad at me okay . also your son that you didn't have the heart to put down and just left him for us to deal with? Tied to a bed, he already turned so it's no big deal, sir neloth broke his jaw off so he can't do anything to you if you feel like seeing him. Sir neloth chops his limbs off to see what happens sometimes. it's smells like crazy in there tho so wear this mask if you wanna go in, just warning you.

can't say there'd be an apparent motive that others see in his experimental, kinda unethical, ventures, but talvas assures everyone that there is one. nobody knows. But honestly neloth is too smart of a guy to just be testing on people out of pure curiosity, it might be him trying to blow out his ego to an unimaginable degree by trying to figure out how the whole infection works, how to stop someone from turning or how to cure someone who's been bitten. tasks very ambitious but keeping him busy and away from everyone else. he mostly only communicates and shares 'secrets' with talvas because talvas has faith in him and doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing. bonus: the whole group hates neloth even more because he keeps using the generator power to have talvas shave his head even though that should be his last priority. neloth is in seventh heaven the whole time (not showing it) just cause his dream of getting to experiment on people without being thrown in jail became true

cute fact: if they ever got into a St. John's dairy type situation and were confronted with the fact that they committed cannibalism.... they rly wouldn't gaf especially neloth. i can see talvas turning to look at him just to see how he feels (and form his opinion on the situation around his reaction) and neloth is just chilling getting his stomach full. talvas wud be disgusted by the food but then eat regardless. feels Funny for the remainder of his life after that. it really doesn't bother neloth tho. i had other situations in mind for them but they slipped out of my mind for now lmfao

neloth would have the most insane plot armor of all time to the extent that even though he's always working closely with the undead he'd never get bitten or just get killed. his ego is shielding him from everything because he values his life so much that it works in his favor. talvas latches onto that plot armor just because he's the 'closest' person to neloth but he's too nice of a person to actually survive for a very long time. he'd get Bitten😂😂😂😂 #FlyHigh but actually the nicest thing(s) neloth has ever done for him would happen after that occurrence... i feel like they'd hide that fact from everyone as a team and neloth would try to do something about it. but talvas dies anyway bye king. love you

wait Update: i forgot i wanted to write down some of this here as a bonus too. skyrim would still be in warfare but it just gets paused for zombies. i really want (we all want something don't we damnn) for elenwen and all her thalmorlings to be stuck together with some imperials in a military base perhaps. doesn't matter. just leading up to the fact that thalmor would have free reign to commit cannibalism (not every single one of them is into the idea but they're not that disgusted by it) while the imperials just try to survive on actual supplies. Elenwen: Back on summerset isles we were always taught not to waste 🤓🤓. they have the most civil agreement where the thalmor would promise not to eat any imperials if they let them eat outsiders as they pleased.

[nakedbibi333]

heya i have a success story

basically my brother went to hospital today and the doctors said that he would need to take a risky surgery, my whole family was worried and crying

however, knowing the law, knew better than to worry since i am in control so i was pretty calm (i wasnt some psycho being all happy while my family were breaking down so ofcourse i was telling them to calm down acting as if i was also worried for him) but deep down i was surprisingly calm

anyway they are at the hospital (i have to stay at home and look after my other siblings) and i literally stopped thinking about my brother like completely could not care less about him 😭😭 it was like he was going to his friends house instead of the hospital i really did not care cuz i knew his surgery was gonna go fine. i get a call from my dad telling me its taking longer than it should and it might be a problem

now ofc, im human and hearing this i was like 'omg what if something does go wrong' and 'am i stupid for not caring and trusting some random law, i feel like such a trash sister'

but after a while i calmly reminded myself i am in control and that it would be fine i did not get rid of the fear straight away but i just reminded my self over and over that i am limitless (i didnt affirm i just kinda tried to re-feel that feeling of he just went to hang out)

anyway after like a couple minutes i was fine again, over the few hours i did occasionally freak out but just calmed myself again and again

just now my dad called me saying everything went fine and there was nothing to be worried about GREAT right?

the thing is i felt no relief whatsoever lmao i sound like such a bad person but hear me out to me it was like it was always gonna go well so there was no fear to be overcome (you get me ????) because of this i finally understand what people meant by your imagination fulfills you enough you dont even care about it happening in the 3D

anyway i hope this can help people in very unfavourable and urgent problems. you are so powerful, its okay to forget that sometimes but never NEVER abandon that power, regain it and live your most amazing life

and thank you bibi?? (i dont think thats your name but im very sorry if it isnt i cant remember rn) you helped my understanding of the law soooo much

sorry if this was kinda long but i couldnt find a way to shorten it <3

Thank you for sharing! I have had moments like this, so don't worry about your reaction to such a serious situation. Sometimes, you feel inhuman for the way you put your trust in the law. But nonchalance is the best feeling to have when manifesting because you know it's done and there's nothing to worry about! I'm so happy for you ♡

And I like being called bibi dw ♡

[thegeminisage]

ok im playing more zelda!! i feel awful this is literally all i can do rn

you know i miss the match over bell from botw. it was so good

FAIRIES IN THIS CAVE...thank god

i fucking hate this place btw. rauru's settlement or whatever. i hate bottomless bogs

i guess in regards to gameplay it's not that different than lava - more forgiving, even! lava kills you instantly and sometimes you can fight your way out of a bog! - but it FEELS worse. it's uglier for one thing

i'm really close to the lost woods so i'm gonna see if i can navigate it without a torch! since i can see the wind blowing. i have so many korok seeds to trade in lol

took me one false start but i made it! i just had to walk veeery slowly lol

MAXED OUT my weapon storage already. damn.

going to check out a tiny chasm i've been eyeballing forever. i deserve a break

i used to feel so nervous being this close to hyrule castle in botw...the hills between it and the lost woods...it's not as bad in totk although i am still hugging the water. i don't want the music to play lol

fucking korok seed i was supposed to get by starting a fire and using a pinecone to go straight up. it was raining. i had to make the most convoluted structure out of dead trees it took FOREVERRR

how exciting!! after awhile away from the depths i land right on top of a yiga camp AND i can see an easy lightroot from here. a gentle reintroduction

ooh, this book talks about lights that appear and then vanish....that's fucking spooky. i hope they dont mean hands lol

ive been wanting to try "hoverbikes" that ive heard about and theres some fans here, so

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH THIS IS THE MOST FUN IVE EVER HAD. WOW

ok my bike died but for a test run that was NOT bad

this area is all explored except this one dark spot that i've just now lit up...i'll grab a few poes and go somewhere else

i'm gonna go to goron city and buy my stupid fire helmet. i swear if i don't kill that gleeok on lake hylia i'll die

oh! i found the goron brothers house! kabetta's diary...

uh oh, it's his marbled rock roast descent

ooh, i found the sidequest to get a boulder breaker!!

where tf do i get a cobble crusher these days i wonder...

god i forgot how fun minecarts are. i saw one of the oldstyle ones on my way by...

kilton's balloon! or um. whoever he is lol <3 i have TOOOONS of gems to trade

it's not the same here without the lava, but at least there's lava in the caves...

these mine cart tracks were RIDICLOUS. i got SO STUCK lol

i see dinraAl but im too close to the ground 😭

OOOOHHHHH maybe i can use a hoverbike.....i gotta finish this fight first lol

GOT A COBBLE CRUSHER.....oh man i almost LEFT these guys to go chase dinraal!!!

ok ok gotta hurry

so, this bike doesn't control as well as i';'d like...maybe i need practice...and of course i wish it was faster...but it's still REALLY cool

my battery keeps dying/my bike keeps falling :( i give up

ugh i have so much anxiety about dragon parts.

VAH RUDANIA HELM??????? HELLOOOOOO

oh my god...i didnt even have this in botw, i dont have the amiibo card....................

aw i found some monster forces guys. of COURSE im gonna help them

OH we still get the bell after monster forces battles...good

NO FUCK AND THEY JUST LEFT. AND THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A BLOOD MOON LOL

i didnt get all my loot yet!! no one to help me when they come back!! im gonna die!!!

im not leaving w/o my Loot. i'll just have to do it on my own. thank god i have muddlebuds

GEEZ i did it. double loot

i can see the edge of the map! that sort of thing always did fascinate me...some of the textures are warped here lol that's creepy

ok, i looked it up and apparently i made my hoverbike wrong. im gonna try again w proper instruction!!

ok, new bike got me up to the top of gut check rock...it still has too much forward momentum for me, but i've seen a couple of different designs i wanna experiment with when i have more fans (currently only have 2 left in inventory)

i miss the goron blood brothers :( i mean it's so depressing that there's nothing up here but a korok seed...

ANOTHER EVENTIDE SHRINE. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS i hate this bs!!!

ok fine that wasnt that bad. STILL

bike is LOTS harder to control with a korok on the back. i like of like the counterweight though to help with too much momentum...

the bike lists to one side! i definitely just need to improve my fan placement

woke up the horse god. JUST as unsettling as i remember.

omg the yiga hideouts REFILL after long enough. rip!

decided to fight the pirates while i was here. "monster forces"...hope i'm not supposed to be teaming up with anyone for this lol

i accidentally hit my bike during combat and it went over the side of the boat 😭 i can make another and i was gonna fast travel after this anyway but STILL......

AUGH it's dinraal again and once again i can't chase her...i know how to do the bike now but i don't have it and also i'm busy!!!!! ugh

248 korok seeds!! officially time for bed - when i started today i was somewhere in the mid 100s lol

i thought i wouldn't play enough tonight to need to make multiple posts but i guess i should have broken this one up, huh? whoops!

[choiscore]

moc ch. 49: a collection of random notes

to @hongism 💌

hi caly! <3 this is anon 🧸 speaking.

today i’m trying something new. im reading the new chapter and annotating every thought i have while doing it so that nothing that i want to say has the CHANCE to be forgotten. this will be LONNNNG. im sorry but it’s what you deserve (in a positive way ofc). so if like there’s a plot twist or something that’ll shake me to my core further down the chapter, im not there yet. that’s why i sound calm. i’ve not started reading yet, that’s the actually the reason im calm at all! now let’s start <3 you’re in for a ride my beloved im sorry in advance.

also i was obviously inspired to do this by @marknee’s post but my thoughts aren’t nearly as articulate and detailed as theirs. this is real this is me 🧍‍♀️ my rambling wouldn’t fit in one or two or even three asks

the first scene with mingi was funny. it’s a first to see him relaxed like this. he cracked a joke AND smiled??? groundbreaking. i love his dynamic with mc and w everyone in the crew tbh. i feel like he has so much to show us yet!!

nightingale. oof, the part where he asks if mc was in bed with san when he told her about him was a low blow. and nightingale implying that san could be lying…. i know you said he’s being more sincere than we think but i can’t help being suspicious of him :-( i love my baby but he IS SUS. also i picture nightingale looking something like a cyborg with the glowing eye is that weird? i dig his look 😎 also we all know that san did some really bad stuff in the past and he’s dangerous dangerous but id really love to see him lose it. just truly be the scourge’s dog. but preferably away from any of the crew members please.

“What if he asks San to kill next time? Then what?” uh this seems like it’s foreshadowing something. i wasn’t that serious CALY IM SCARED

“I did too, at one point. Until San asked to take me to the brig one day. Even when I was fully in the mouth of a monster, I did not feel it. Not until he clamped his jaw down around me.” yeah san scares me im scared of what he’s capable of im shaking in my boots rn but at the same time it’s kinda attractive ngl i just don’t want him to hurt anyone we love!!!! 😭

“You wish to know the ins and outs of how things turned out the way they did if only to know how to avoid the same fate for yourself later down the line.” she is smart yeah that’s what im talking about!!! sick curiosity + being kinda scared + the need/want to feel safe is something i’ll never get tired of. i think it’s human nature to be attracted to extreme experiences and concepts that like push the limits of everything you’ve ever known while also knowing that you’ll never be the same if you really go after those things. that’s part of being alive ;-)

“[…] I climbed over her dead body and I reached into that man’s chest to break it open and squeeze the life of his heart.” is this the same thing she did to the security guard or like she literally opened his chest up? 👁️

fuck san and mc have a lot in common don’t they. they’re both so powerful and dangerous but at the same time they seem so afraid of what they’re capable of… i mean i don’t know if san truly is, but some part of me feels like he’s scared he can lose control and hurt someone he loves… on the other hand, i don’t know if mc knows the true extent of her powers and that >is< scary.

i LOVE jongho and mc’s relationship. they’re one of my favorites my babies i love them!!! not luca giving them 1 (one) chocolate whdnshxhqvdba cute!!! / “Yes, I’ll see you later, woman! We fuckin’ live together, it’s not like you’re going off to war,” i love them i do!!!!

“No, but Vida in general is nothing pleasant.” this is funny because vida in portuguese means life. yeah jongho life is nothing pleasant sometimes you’re right…. also why did you choose this name, caly? im so interested in moc lore 🥸

not san being a fucking menace and scaring jongho??? i can see him standing in the dark staring at poor jongho hiding in his little corner like 🧍‍♂️ also im so intrigued by san and hongjoong’s relationship. he has the same authority as seonghwa, huh? interesting. kinda terrifying. is san scared of hongjoong? 🤔

hongjoong is so petty oh my godddddhhgg i know he’s like that in real life too. changing the course of the ship to somewhere else bc jongho wanted to get off at the next stop? petty bitch

“You’re making a home in a house that does not belong to you, though that is not entirely your fault. San has let you in. Now Nightingale has pulled up a chair for you at the table. I suppose all that’s left is for either Hongjoong or myself to open all the closet doors so that the skeletons can fall out.” it’s not like i haven’t told you this before, but im in LOVE with your writing caly. i don’t have enough vocabulary for this but i could read whatever you write forever. this snippet in particular is so cool, the house metaphor… I love it!

“Did you only fuck me because it reminded you of Hongjoong?” oh fuck here we go im grabbing my popcorn. oh my god mc is going for hwa’s throat but she’s SO RIGHT slay queen / “You were never after anything more than sex but you hoped it would change things?” oop 🫣 he caught her there i’ll say that

jfc how did they start ripping each other apart so quickly the tension snapped in like a second??? also hwa pointing that mc hates hongjoong so much that she considers anyone that cares about him idiots… i mean. i sincerely cannot believe that anyone likes him for the person he is. the captain is not a good person. yes i love him, i do, but he’s goddamn awful. my point being that those who care about him only do because, like hwa said, he gave the crew a safe space AND he manipulated those around him because he has that power. they care about joong because they have to, it’s a safety measure… / “When your hatred turns to infatuation, I’ll be sure to tell you all the ways in which Hongjoong has orchestrated the destruction of your psyche since your arrival here.” I AM ABSOLUTELY SCREAMING / mc is so mad that hwa is implying that she wants hongjoong i can’t wait to see where this takes us i’d pay to see them together djahsnshqvvsbabsjab?-!:!/$/!

“Take a long hard look at yourself, Y/n. A woman who was just on her knees before me. Pliant, obedient, with no control to call her own. Isn’t that where you belong, Y/n? My pretty weapon, my pretty Siren, my pretty treasure.” wow this whole scene w hongjoong. i held my breath the entire time jesus christ it was so INTENSE i don’t even know what to say, my thoughts are still processing. hongjoong is truly worthy of the scourge title, i could feel his madness and the humiliation mc was feeling through the screen…

hoooo okay. why do i feel like san is trying to manipulate mc with sex? with the lovely words and touches just like nightingale said? it doesn’t sit well with me the way he started to eat her out while she was crying, it truly doesn’t…. and not her seeing hongjoong while she’s with san??? this is so twisted oh my god

SAN CALLING HER MY TREASURE WAS SO FUCKING INTENTIONAL AND THE WAY HE KNEW HONGJOONG WAS GOING TO MAKE HER HIS LEFT HAND FOR THE MISSION CALY HE KNOWS EVERYTHING HE DOES!!!!! fuck i don’t trust san AT ALL he probably knows about what hongjoong did to mc and he’s trying to excuse everything his beloved captain does!!! fucking scourge!!!!

ugh caly this was a ride i feel like crying bc i missed moc so much! it’s always such a pleasure to wait and read what that beautiful brain of yours comes up with!!! it’s always worth it. thank you so much for sharing this absolute gem of a story with us. 💗 can’t wait for the interim!