#I just. i really need to feel some control over things rn 😭

[sunnibits]

understanding why people always get haircuts when they’re mentally unstable now. life is shitty and unfair but at least we always have ✨bodily autonomy✨

[hatake]

.

[chrollohearttags]

love thy neighbor • r. sukuna

(Y/N) moves into an apartment complex on the other side of town and winds up living right next door to one of the most notorious drug dealers in the city nonetheless! But looks can be deceiving…

📝: black!fem plus size reader, plug!sukuna, age gap (6 years or so) mentions of toxic relationship and baby trapping, religious trauma, anxiety, alcohol + drug use, comfort + fluff and angst to smut, missionary, prone bone, oral sex, reader cries during, daddy is used a couple times, size difference, lots of kissing, positive affirmations, creampie

wc: 3.0K

🎙️: I swear imma get back to posting regularly! I’m just being lazy and hating my writing rn (it sucks) 😭 but I hope y’all enjoy

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you didn’t know what to expect when you found yourself residing on the same floor as plug!sukuna..it was your first time living on your own. Fresh out of your parents’ house with minimal belongings and all of the savings you had managed to scrounge over the years. Enough to cover first and last month’s rent with some extra left over..working as a receptionist in a local doctors office by day and offering online tutoring services at night to suffice your income. You'd return home from your shift, ready to relax by at least eight o clock..meanwhile, plug!sukuna was just beginning his night. Heading out into the streets to do God knows what until the early morning hours. But he’d never leave until he’d done two things: said hello and made sure that you were straight. You never really understood the logic behind it..especially considering the fact that you weren’t exactly close friends or even acquaintances beforehand. Hell, he didn’t know you at all and yet, he was just as kind as an old lady bringing you cookies to welcome you to the neighboorhood.

nonetheless, plug!sukuna would always tell you “..keep that door locked, don’t answer that shit for nobody and call me if you need anything, aight?” his deep voice was the last voice you’d heard for the evening and the first when you awoke in the morning. Sometimes, he’d even bring you breakfast per your request and you’d eat together. You’d cut off all ties to your controlling, religious fanatic family and the narcissistic ex who’d all but attempted to stick you with a kid you didn’t want and turn you into his personal doll…trapped inside of the house with no purpose other than to serve him. It was the way all of the men in your former faith operated. But you weren’t interested. Not in the slightest. In fact, you wanted change so drastic, it’d make their goddamn heads spin! Over time, you’d grow closer to plug!sukuna. His second long check ins and warnings became full blown conversations as the two of you congregated downstairs in the pool area or at the mailbox for a cup of coffee. A cigarette dangling from his fingertips to go light once he went outside.

“I know this place seems nice and all from first glance but…imma let you in on a lil’ secret, baby. It’s all types of people who come here..looking for trouble and hell, I’m not gonna lie to you. I’m part of the reason. That’s why I tell you to keep your door locked. Your pretty ass answers for the wrong person and somebody is bound to try and take advantage. ‘Damn shame I’d have to fuck someone up if something were to happen to you..”

plug!sukuna was sweet and endearing in his own right. But that’s what drew you into him..he was the very antithesis to what you knew men to be. Brutally honest yet so empathetic to your feelings. Rough as hell around the edges but a total gentleman. He may have done horrible things but he was a good guy..the best damn one you’d ever met. Unbeknownst to him, you’d watch him from the window leaving out; others surrounding him in the parking lot in similar cars. Blacked out with tinted windows..doing sleight of hand to pass something to other tenants who you’d recognized. Only what you could assume to be drugs. A couple of the guys you’d recognized from church, talking to deacons and pastors..now it’d all made so much more sense. Even so, plug!sukuna kept you out of that part of his life as much as possible. Eventually, some months would pass and it was a secret to no one that you’d grown quite fond of him..damn near smitten even.

however, plug!sukuna was adamant on not taking it there with you! He’d admitted himself that you were beautiful and in another life, any other circumstances..he wouldn’t hesitate to make you his. The problem was, you were still too vulnerable and he was knee deep in a lifestyle he wanted you to steer clear from. You were healing from years of trauma and downright abuse..trying to navigate this world on your own. If he were any other scumbag, he could have easily sucked you into his world and had you out here doing his bidding.

“(Y/N) baby..do you know how many girls just like you..who leave bad situations and end up in worse ones because some nasty motherfucker saw how vulnerable they were and used that to their advantage? How many girls went from being in the church to being on their knees for some pimp? I care too much ‘bout you to let that happen. I’m no good for you, I swear. You’d only end up hurt because I can’t give you all of me. Shit, I can’t even promise I’d make a good boyfriend. I’m selfish as hell, I’m always gone..I’ve slept with more women than I can remember. What could you possibly want with somebody like me, huh? What could I possibly do for you, (y/n)?”

but you saw right through plug!sukuna’s facade. He was gentle at heart..a romantic even. He wanted his person to spoil and adore just as much as you did. The streets were his only love for most of his life. He’d seen many things but nothing quite like you..those round, doe eyes; so innocent and pure. Pouty lips, chubby cheeks and the soft, ringlet curls that surrounded that gorgeous face. That soft, plump body and those thighs that rubbed together when you walked away. He wanted to devour you whole sometimes..many nights had plug!sukuna lied in his bed next door, thinking of you being on top of him. Those perky breasts jiggling as he bounced you up and down on his cock. Those nails clawed at his chest as sweat poured down his skin. But those thoughts were far too lewd and disgusting for someone like you! He was ashamed of even having them. But he couldn’t help himself..especially when that sweet, airy voice all but begged him to take you.

“Because I love you, Ryo..I love everything about you. Even the bad shit. I don’t care what you do because it’s not who you are..you’re the man that brings me food and coffee in the morning so I don’t have to rush before work. You’re the man who kisses my forehead when he leaves because you know, deep down..it could be the last time I see you. You’re the man who calls me every time he hears a gunshot or sirens because he worries himself sick about me when I’m not near him. You carry my laundry baskets and groceries, you clean my apartment while I’m sleeping because I’m too tired. And not once have you ever tried to touch me. You never made me repay you with sex or anything. You could easily hurt me and you can’t even bring yourself to raise your voice, even when I’m dead fucking wrong. No one has ever cared about me that much, boyfriend or otherwise and I don’t give a damn if you sell drugs or blow up buildings. A man who’d do all of that for me and never asks for anything in return is exactly who I want.”

plug!sukuna found himself dumbstruck for the first time in a long time..standing there with your small hand cradling his chiseled jaw, tears streaming down your face, he’d find that his own eyes were welling and burning. He’d never heard anyone speak about him in such a way. “Damn, I guess you can read me like a book.” Hell, he’d never acted that way with anyone else either. Yet here he was, treating you like a princess. He couldn’t pretend anymore..he had to be honest with you..and himself.

“I—I love you too, (y/n). So much..”

“Then make me yours. Right now..right here.”

“you know once we do this, we can’t go back..”

“Please..leaving the past behind is kind of my thing.”

it didn’t take long for your lips to meet in a fiery haze, tongues intertwined in a moment of heated bliss. Your hands roaming one another’s bodies as moans slipped through..your clothes all but becoming discarded heaps on the living room floor like a movie scene cliche. His lips traced from your neck to your collarbone; slightly dredging his teeth along the skin in the process.

“Here, baby..take my hand.” plug!sukuna, in one fell swoop hoisted you into his arms as if you weighed practically next to nothing. Continuing to feed you those slow kisses, he’d carry you to a nearby wall and part your thighs. With your legs resting on his shoulders, he’d mark every inch of you. From your sensitive nipples which he cradled in his mouth to that pudgy tummy he loved so much to that juicy center, which was practically leaking for him.

“This all me? Just from some kissing?..” “This is nothing. I touch myself every night thinking about you..you should see the mess I make then.” plug!sukuna could barely sate his urges now, hearing how nasty this supposedly innocent girl was for him! He wasted no time slithering his tongue into that aching cunt. Swirling it around on that throbbing clit, spitting into those pretty pink folds and those succulent brown lips encasing them. He feasted like a man unhinged; greedy and selfish as fuck, just like he claimed. You’d grasp a hold of those dark reddish and black locks, grinding yourself into his face. Rubbing his nose in between your slit.

“Mmmph! Ryo…” “Yeah, fuck my face. Don’t hold back now. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”

plug!sukuna would eat your pussy until he heard you sobbing and felt that orgasm come barreling out. Your tight hole spasming on air as those juices trickled down his throat, chest and mouth. He couldn’t help but to laugh as he watched you writhe in pleasure. Attempting to push him away as you rode out that orgasm.

“Wha—how did you?��“ “What? I told you..I’ve had a lot of practice.” Choosing to omit the fact that he’d fantasized about you sitting on his face more times than he could count. Tossing you a wink and one final lick before carting you over to the sofa. Where he laid you down gently against the cushions…pinning those legs back whilst hovering over you. The entire time, he couldn’t take his gaze away from those gorgeous eyes..they glimmered so bright. Full of lust, adoration and excitement. No matter how much you smiled, he always sensed a certain emptiness behind them. A light stolen from you and now, he hoped to reignite it.

observing your movements, plug!sukuna began to chuckle when he saw you pawing at his crotch. So eager to unsheathe that hard on from his boxers. He could tell that the shy, bashful demeanor you presented was only a front. If given the opportunity, he could turn you into his personal slut with ease..but for now, he wanted to focus solely on making love to you. Giving you every part of him that he’d long to for months now. You’d examine his chiseled torso, reaching up to caress his abs and trace your fingertips along his various tattoos. But you couldn’t distract yourself from how large that bulge was..protruding and leaking with precum…

“Can I?—“ Go ahead, baby..take it out.” And without hesitation, you’d tug that elastic waistband back and let it spring forth. He was so girthy and long. Clean shaven and although he was erect now, you could tell he was huge even when flaccid. Nonetheless, plug!sukuna grasped those thick thighs of yours and mounted in between them; gliding that aching tip along your folds. ”Now you tell me if it hurts, okay baby? If I see you flinch or look uncomfortable, I’m pulling the fuck out. We clear?” And you knew when he spoke, that was law. Nodding in agreement, you’d consent to his terms as you rubbed your folds, waiting for him.

“Good..and tap my arm if you can’t talk. I’m ‘bout to start moving. You ready?” with your permission, he’d glide in slowly and immediately, he thought he’d seen stars! Plug!sukuna, by his own volition, had been with countless girls. From strippers to models, but never had he felt pussy this tight! The warmth immediately cradling him and not letting go. He’d suck his teeth before muttering a single ‘fuck’ under his breath. You were going to be some pressure, he was certain of it. But he’d continue on, gathering his footing and working that cock into your entrance. A single pop, along with wet, squishing sounds rang out across that living room as you lie underneath him.

“Goddamn…your shit feels incredible, baby. I know you had some good pussy..I can tell just by looking at you.” Forcing a wide, toothy smile on your face. You’d never heard him talk so vulgar but it was the side you’d brought out. He was officially obsessed!

“Yeah? Well I’ve been wanting to give it to for so long..I never thought you’d fuck me..”

“I kept you waiting, huh? I’m sorry..guess it just means we gotta make up for lost time then, huh?”

plug!sukuna was thrilled to know that he’d no longer have to hold back because you were on the same wavelength. You’d have no issues matching his energy..so with that, he’d speed up those thrusts. Pounding you with gentle but well paced strokes. The sound of your thighs and skin slamming together, coupled with the sounds of both your moans, made for a beautiful chorus. Your hands around his neck, scratching at his back; legs around his waist and his muscular arms planted right at your sides. Drilling you just as you’d requested and there was no limits between the two of you.

“Yes! Keep fucking meeee..oh my goodness. I’m gonna come again!”

“You’re so fucking cute..damn..” adoring how you sounded squealing and laughing as you met his thrusts. He couldn’t believe how receptive you were and how it took no time at all for you to open up.

“And you look so pretty taking all this dick for daddy. I can’t stop staring at you.” That deep voice showering you with praise as his thick cock thrashed around your insides. Even though you had always been a bigger girl, he made you feel so dainty and small..like a precious treasure he never wanted to lose. “You deserve this, baby..to get fucked just like this. To be spoiled and get whatever you want. I can put you up..you ain’t ever gotta worry about shit. Not a bill, not rent, your family..I got you, baby. I promise. I love you..” You believed every single word and clung to them with every fiber you had. You’d never had anyone treat you with such grace and care before..and that wasn’t the end. He’d continue doting. Telling you how proud he was of you and how far you'd come. How he admired your strength to get out of your situation…he was in awe. plug!sukuna would continue singing your praises until he looked up and spotted tears coming down your face. He was tempted to stop until you told him that you were just fine. He on the other hand..was struggling to maintain his stamina.

“No no..please don’t stop. You just make me feel so good. No one has ever fucked me like this.”

but that alone seemed to ignite a second wind and in a moment of haste, you’d find yourself flipped over into your stomach with his entire body weight shifted on top of you.

“You mean that, baby?” Those outer fangs of his teeth glistening and mouth slicked with saliva as he began pounding you once more..hands pinned to your back and his frame covering your own. The plumpness of that ass ricocheting off of him as he penetrated those walls. You’d come once again, dripping onto the leather couch and making that aforementioned mess he’d been dying to see. This time, his pace was rougher..less structured and sporadic. He couldn’t help it..he was running on pure fumes, trying to give you the first time experience you deserved. Tugging your head back by those thick curls, plug!sukuna fed you the deeper strokes he could muster until those chocolate eyes rolled back.

“Y-yes! This dick is amazing..”

“Tell me who it belongs to. Who’s this good pussy belong to now?”

“Y-you, daddy. It’s yours! Oh fuck..”

never having uttered such lewd words in your entire life, you reveled in the fact that he had been the one to bring this side out. And now, you were about to bring a side out of him. One far more vulnerable than the public witnessed..one that would beg you to let him come inside of you and cry out your name in sweet ecstasy as he did so. You’d feel those warm seeds pouring into your womb as he came to a halt and you welcomed them. plug!sukuna didn’t hesitate to swaddle you in his arms for kisses and comfort.

“I don’t want this to end..tell me it doesn’t have to, Ryo. Can we be this way forever?”

“We can stay like this for as long as you want, baby. I’m not going anywhere.“

and it was a promise he intended to keep. Not just as your neighbor or the guy next door looking over you. But now, as your lover and the man who’d never leave your side.

[red-doll-face]

lowhonor arthur who's just obsessed with u. . . 😵‍💫

DOLLLYYY thank you for this wonderful request i was so excited to see a req from you in my inbox queen 😭😭😭 I LOVE YOU !!! 💖💖😊😊🥰🥰also thank you again for the one you wrote for me !! 🥹🥹 I tried really hard on this and im actually super proud of how it came out, I had my bf who is a lh arthur player weigh in on some dialogue sooooo i finally have a lh arthur committee to fall back on LMAO I hope you like it !! tysm for reading and any feedback makes me 😊😊😊 also made it a bit long as always w me ... Warnings: Arthur is a meanie , low honor arthur as a warning. like hes a jerk but what were we expecting?? however complete weenie for you like hes down bad. also sad arthur like he has his issues where he thinks he isnt a stud?? like i need a bucket of his nut rn sorryyyy

In Arthur's opinion, you only deserve joy and nothing less.

low honor Arthur Morgan x fem. reader

Do you have to be so goddamn distracting? He swears your giggle is the loudest of the girls, when they’re no doubt filling each other in about the latest camp affairs. He has to look over from where he was brushing his horse's glossy coat in the blazing sun. The grumpy shire gets annoyed at the loss of contact, turning to mouth at Arthur’s shoulder. Arthur's hand is squeezing the brush, as to make all the blood rush away from his knuckles. You sit there with Karen on the chairs outside the girl’s tent, whispering in her ear, before laughing again. The prettiest thing, your hair bouncing and your hand rising to your chest. Karen nudges your shoulder. And she turns to see him staring. The glare she sends his way isn’t all too unexpected. 

But then Karen whispers to you as well. Her eyes flick over to where he’s standing. He looks away before the inevitable. Your eyes on him, curious, searching over him. He hates how that idea makes him feel, being perceived by you. Arthur wonders what you think. Some sad sap eyeing a young lady such as you. He looks down at his dirty shirt, the smell of horse flesh and hair clinging to him. You probably think he’s repulsive to look at. His brows draw together, his jaw gets tight. You must think he’s horrible, like Karen does. Cruel and awful. You wouldn’t be wrong. And he knows he shouldn’t do any of the things he thinks about doing but his impulses can be hard to control. The anxiety makes him almost nauseous. Heat brewing, his chest feeling tighter than he’d like; than he’d ever admit to a living soul. But his journal later tonight is another thing. He stuffs the horse brush back into his saddle bag. Why couldn’t he just ignore you? Push you from his mind, keep you from having any sort of affect on him? He’s not too sure. 

Maybe it’s the way you catch his eye whenever you walk past, your skirt brushing against his leg. He knows you’re a real sweet thing. He loathed to see Ms. Grimshaw bring you to tears over your inability to perform to her standards. He had been all too eager to get some sort of odd revenge for you, being sure to dig in deep with remarks, his words feeling more barbed than usual. Being an attack dog he supposed, came all too easy. Not that you noticed particularly but it's more for his pride than anything else.  

When he turns, you’re still looking, tilting your head. The expression on your face falters when you see him looking, your cute little lips parting before you avert your eyes, not even bothering to keep your head from facing towards him. You look nervous too. He imagines it’s because you might think about him just as much as he does of you. That at night, you might think of your girlish fantasies, ones where he holds your hand or gives you a smile, meant just for your eyes. Nothing so depraved as his own visions. But he knows you most likely don't think much of him at all. He huffs, scratching at his beard. He needs a smoke and maybe a drink, just to take a bit of the weight off of his chest at just the thought of you. 

After dinner, you sit with Lenny. He tells you something that makes you laugh again. He seethes, it’s not him getting them from you but it’s still sends a shiver through him. He could swear he gets goosebumps. Your laugh is prettier than any of that droning music Dutch plays from his scratchy gramophone. Beautiful really. If he could keep your laugh to himself, he would. Would listen to it over and over. Would tell every joke he has. Hell, even the dirty ones. Instead, he’s listening to Bill ramble about how he doesn’t appreciate the folk around here thinking he’s as dumb as a donkey. 

“It ain’t for no reason people think you’re a dumbass, Bill. It’s because you are. Kinda smell like a donkey too,” Arthur drawls, his natural inclination to getting under people’s skin only spiking at the sight of you smiling at Lenny. Fuckin’ kid. Arthur’s got nothing against him, only that he’s making you laugh. In another life, maybe he had that kind of easy and casual energy you liked, relaxed and amusing even. But he doesn’t, as evidenced by Bill’s blustering. He had tuned the first half of it out (focused on your lips, the roundness of your cheeks) but Bill is trying to sputter out a response as half as scathing as his own. Bill’s angry look only makes Arthur give his arrogant smile. 

“And who asked you, Arthur?” The moron’s whiny voice only serves to annoy Arthur and cover up another one of your intoxicating giggles. Your joy was something to behold and Bill’s petulance is nothing special.

“You’re makin’ everyone dumber just by talkin’, why don’t you just shut your goddamn mouth?” Arthur shoots a nasty look at the other man until he turns red. John tells Bill to let it go. Arthur had pushed it too far but he doesn’t give even half a shit. Arthur dusts his thigh off before taking a sip from the bottle of whiskey gone warm in his palm. When you’re still talking to Lenny, he stands, forgetting the bottle on an errant crate. He approaches, trying to catch snippets of your conversation. 

“-how come you like that game so much? Doesn’t it hurt when you mess up?” 

“Well, I just don’t mess up and when I do, I take it on the chin. Don’t think I’d be any good otherwise,” 

Your light laugh at Lenny's words makes him boil inside. Your bright simper; looking up at Lenny while the younger man stands, straight and as tall as he can. Proud smile, as if he can tell he’s impressed you. It all crumbles when Arthur comes near enough to be noticed. A stiff greeting falls from Lenny’s mouth, you look over your shoulder. Unsure how to respond. Arthur clings to his control, avoiding the glance that he wants to take of you. His restraint holds fast when he wants it to. 

“Damn near cut your finger off the last time, wouldn’t be so sure,” he pokes at Lenny’s ego, goading him. Keeping his voice mellow enough as to be construed as playful but he can’t hide his harshness. Lenny doesn’t take his bait. 

“Whatever, Arthur. You ain’t exactly the expert, neither,” You look between the two, a small nervous look flickering in your gaze. Arthur smiles, unfazed by Lenny’s snappy return. He knows how intimidating he can be; can see how Lenny’s resolve breaks just a little. He’s got courage, a smart kid. Quick, too. But he’s too young to have the authority Arthur carries, maybe one day but not now. 

“Go on n’ play your games, you could always use more practice,” Lenny glares but looks at you. It only makes Arthur cross his arms over his chest. As if you need protection from him, should he taint you by standing too close. You nod, telling Lenny to have a good evening. In that sweet voice, so kind. Once Lenny is sure you think you’ll be fine, he has an exasperated sigh before he goes off. 

“Arthur…” Is the reluctant response you have. Being alone with him obviously makes you fidget, makes your fingers scrunch in the fabric of your skirts. He likes your tongue forming his name, you almost whisper it, he can hardly hear it over the chatter of the other people around you. What a brave girl, putting up with him all by yourself. 

“How-how are you?” you’re on the verge of making a frown but you hold your airy smile upwards. Afraid he’ll try to point out any flaw. You don’t understand why he does the things he does, his reputation proceeds him. But the issue is, Arthur doesn’t have any flaws to point out with you. You’re almost too good for this den of thieves you live amongst. Almost. If you were, then he wouldn't get to see you every day. Perhaps you were just another unfortunate person with nowhere else to go but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He’s always been greedy like that. He looked forward to waking up, if only to catch glimpses of you doing your chores or reading books in the sun. It takes him a bit too long to answer, adjusting his hat, his own nerves a bit pushed at his proximity to you. Just breathing the same air as you puts him in a better mood. He stares into your eyes, trying to evoke a reaction from you. They glimmer, warm fire light caressing the softness of you. 

“Alright, I guess,” whatever quickness his tongue has is diminished. Playing nice isn’t his strong suit. Fumbling through a decent conversation with you might be nice though. The more you let him stay around you without walking away with a huff like Lenny did, the better. He won’t admit your presence has him softening a little. “What’re you up to?” He’s only a little embarrassed at how stupid that question sounds. 

“Well, I was talking to Lenny but…”  your glance in the direction Lenny walked off to makes him tighten his fist. He puts his hands on his belt, leaning his weight on one leg. “Now, I’m talking to you,” When your glances brush over him, he can feel it as if you touched him, he can’t help the way his stomach drops a few inches lower. Get a hold of yourself, you damn fool.

He can tell you didn’t know quite what to say. Doesn’t matter, he could listen to just about anything you have to say to the placating rhythm of the evening, the chirp of crickets, the wind in the trees. 

“That so?” Idiot is his first thought. But the smile that breaks on your face; it's worth the humiliation curdling somewhere in him. Your shy nod, the shift in you, moved by him. He doesn't care if he’s assigning meaning where there isn’t any. He digs for more, looking for signs, imagined or not. Unconsciously, he drifts closer to where you sit on a rickety wooden chair.

“I think so. I don’t know, we don’t talk very often,” your voice is a precious sound. And so is the flutter of your eyelashes when you blink. Slow; now that you’ve let your guard down just a little. He watches intently, every movement you make.

“Damn shame, darlin’,” it is a shame. He figured he didn’t stand a chance but he can’t keep you from having a hold over him. Even when he isn’t here, his thoughts wander towards you. But now he looks for even a grain of affection in your eyes. He gathers more meaning from your words, the rising tone at the end of your sentence makes him think that you would like to talk to him more. He knows he’s deluding himself but he can kid himself just a little. His boot scrapes the dirt, ducking his eyes under the black brim of his hat. Just maybe, you’d engage him in more than an unnerved glance or a two word greeting.

At the name he calls you, your eyes widen just a bit, tilting your head, showing him your neck. Bad idea. He drinks in the sight. Is he disgusting for wanting to taste it? The skin of your neck, warm with your blood? The flattered and flustered raise of your fingers to your lips is exactly what he had wanted, he hadn’t known it but god, does it send satisfaction ringing throughout him; seeing the effect of him on you. 

“Have I been missing out on something, Arthur?” Your tone is playful, but still reserved. Coming out of your shell now that he is reining in whatever drives him to push other people away with his harshness and his affronting demeanor. Just barely. 

“Not really. Think it’s me; missin’ out on ya,” Lucky you, this is about as personable as Arthur can really get. But you seem to enjoy it. Your pretty smile and a hum that rivals the soothing nature of a cat’s purr; say so. He thinks of your contented murmur; how it would feel on his lips should you grace him with a kiss of yours. “Ain’t much for talkin’...” 

“That’s not what I hear,” It is perhaps out of your mouth before you can think on it. Impulsive, just like him.

“And what have you heard?” it comes out more serious than he wants it to. More threatening. But he forces his posture to relax. As difficult as that is. You don’t flinch too much at least. Just lean back slightly. 

“Well, I hear that…I’m not sure I should say..” The little reluctance you show is drawing him in. You're an angel, biting your thumb nail because of your nerves. Afraid to get someone in trouble. He crosses his arms over his chest again, leans against the nearest surface, a stationary wagon side. 

“Jus’ tell me what they said, girl,” the way you follow his somewhat gentle command is more alluring than he should find it. Most people followed his direction without much question but it is something special when you look up at him, when you do as he says. Does something funny to his head. Mixes things up, stirring up his insides like Pearson’s godforsaken stew. 

“They said-said you’re good with words. But you don’t always mean it. Those mean things you say,” you play with your hands, picking at the skin on your nails. 

“Oh, I mean it. A lot of the time anyway. Why, I say somethin’ mean to you, princess?” At first you think you’ve activated whatever deep seated need Arthur has to make people dislike him. Your worried and panicked expression puts pressure on his chest. He doesn’t ever want you to look at him like that, not for real. Anything outside his idea of play just wouldn’t do. All he wants is that relaxed gesture of happiness you showed him. You shake your head; overexcited, but he speaks before you can muster a frightened response. He hadn’t said anything too bad with you, of that he’s sure but it can't hurt; offering you comfort. Arthur Morgan and comforting don’t often go in the same sentence. Despite his prickly reputation he gives you an easy grin, trying to keep his pride from turning it into a crooked smirk. Something he thought you might like, as he imagined you would.

“Cause I’m sure I didn’t mean it. Not with you,” He loves how quiet you get, pacified by his words. And that smile comes back; makes you look just fine. 

thank you so much for reading!! i really am so grateful for the support i receive from this community. like i love yall smmmm !!🥺😭💖first time messing around in Arthur’s pov a lil so pls lmk any thots 🥰🥰🫶

[beenbaanbuun]

hi bunny! <33 i wanted to ask if you could do a little fic of how the ateez boys (specifically jjong) would be like during aftercare ❤️ after a rougher session— i’m in need of comforty cute stuff rn lmao 😭 no pressure ofc! luv u bun bun 🫶

aftercare w/ateez

hongjoong

i feel like hongjoong is very prepared for aftercare, especially if he knows in advance that it’s going to be a rougher session

like he already has a glass of water and a snack bar on the nightstand ready to go

coos and praises you as he breaks the bar into tiny pierces and slides them between your lips with his fingers

will absolutely force you to pee and shower once he thinks you’ve got your energy up enough to walk to the bathroom

stays with you the whole time you pee, and slides into the shower beside you to wash your hair

unlike some of the others i don’t believe that the shower will to anything else because hongjoong has a modicum of self control and can see you naked without going feral…

seonghwa

seonghwa’s first instinct is to go and grab a washcloth from the bathroom so he can wipe down the mess between your legs

of course, while he’s in the bathroom, he kills two birds with one stone and begins to draw a bath for you

wipes down your sticky skin with the warm cloth, all while whispering praises

‘i know you’re sensitive but you’re being such a good girl by letting me clean you! just a little more and it’ll be over, my darling.’

once you’re somewhat clean he guides you to the bathroom and helps you into the bath before going to chance the sheets

comes back the second they’re changed and in the washer so he can sit on the side of the tub and watch you with a pretty smile

yunho

cuddly boy!!

will literally just hold you to his chest and stroke his hand up and down your spine while the two of you return your breathing to normal

isn’t so fussy about the ‘clean’ aspect of it all, but will definitely make you go pee because we do not want any UTI’s in this house!

and once you’re finished peeing, he just ticks you back into his nice strong arms and lets you fall to sleep in his grasp

he trusts you enough to know that you’ll tell him if you need anything else; water, a snack, all that jazz

he also knows you enough to know that is so incredibly rare that you’ll want anything other than him and his warm cuddles

because let’s be real, lying on top of yunho with your head tucked into his neck and his long arms holding you in place is actually the best feeling in the world

yeosang

you know my thoughts on yeosang’s sex style so i also have to assume that he takes his job of aftercare very seriously

it’s half a guilt thing because baby boy went so hard that now he has to take care of you; he needs to know that you’re okay and he didn’t do too much

he starts by wiping you down and you’re guaranteed to be oversensitive, but he just shushes you and tells you how well you’re doing

ideally he’d like you to shower, but you’re too boneless right now and he doesn’t want to leave you for long enough to run a bath

and when he’s all done cleaning you up, he’ll hold a straw to your mouth, watching you as gulp down the water he brought you

i can see him needing his own validation as well so he asks you plenty of questions

did he go to far? did you like it when he did that one thing? were you having as much fun as he was? he really is desperate to know that you were having a good time

san

san is so fucking clingy that from the moment he goes soft, he will not let you out if his sight

he won’t send you to the bathroom yourself with promises of cuddles when you get back; why would he when he can follow you in there to hold your hand while you pee?

and while you’re in the shower you better let this man wash your hair, your body, your face, anything he can, unless you want him to pout

sits you on the toilet seat while he brushes your teeth; it’s cute but you can’t help but feel shy as he holds your jaw and looks down at you

and then when he’s sure you’re squeaky clean and happy, he bundles you up in his arms and drags you back to bed with him

from which there will be no escape, by the way; if you even dream about getting out of bed, san will be pouting and complaining

mingi

i like to think that he puts his mind, body and soul into sex, so he’s probably just as tired as you when it’s over

ideally, he’d just like to stay in bed with you, but he knows you have to replenish yourself, so he sets you little tasks

“can you go get a wash cloth from the bathroom so i can wipe you down?”, “go piss, girl. i’ll be right here waiting for you.”

and you best believe that after every single task you complete, he’s praising you like you’ve just cured world hunger or something

lips pressed against yours, letting you know just how good you are for him and how proud he is of you for doing what he asks

it’s safe to say youre leave your submissive headspace any time soon, not when mingi has you in his grasp, whispering sweet praises in your ear

wooyoung

wooyoung likes to do everything for you and if he even catches you lifting a finger he will become the most annoying person to ever walk this earth

like he’ll be getting you a glass of water and he’ll come back to the bedroom to see you with a tissue between your legs and all he can thing is how dare you?

literally storms over and takes it away from you before continuing the job himself, muttering under his breath as he cleans you up

“you weren’t so independent when you were begging for my dick, hm?” he scowls, “you need me to fuck you properly, so what makes you think you don’t need to help you with this too?”

like honestly, he’s kind of mean with it but with his gentle touch and the tiny kisses that he’s pressing to your thighs, you know he isn’t actually mad

just being his regular wooyoung-ish self…

jongho

oh you think he’s a teddy bear? wrong; during aftercare you’re his teddy bear and there’s nothing you can do about it!

because he’s way too strong for you to escape from the grasp he has on you, no matter how much wriggling you do

it’s fine though, because jongho always keeps. a bottle of water by his bed and a few snacks in his drawer and a pack of baby wipes too

you literally don’t even have to move from his arms for him to take care of you; everything you need is right there!

of course when you tell him you need to use the bathroom he’s pouting, but then you tell him he can come with you and he’s happy again

he doesn’t consider the fact that he can’t squeeze you to death when you’re actually on the loo, so when he realises that he’s pouting again

literally clings to you the moment you stand up, wasting no time in dragging you back to bed for more cuddles

[hwaslayer]

favorite things | pmylm drabble (jyh)

⇢ favorite things - drabble one // ft. the pmylm couple

summary: yunho's been having a rough time adjusting to the 'real world' and gets upset when he can't have the person he needs the most right away.

words: 2.8k

warnings: cussing/mature language, jealousy/insecurities, yuyu is upset and doesn't really know how to control his feelings rn cause he is just a tired boy 😭, a small lil fight, the awkward silent treatment, yuyu and yeo talk thru his feelings for a bit, kissing/making out, sorry if i missed anything i quickly whipped the rest of this in bed lol

a/n: whipped this baby up because i just felt the need to and i missed my babies!! (+ this lil IG inspo hehe) more drabbles to come 🫶🏼 love you in slow motion update this weekend annnnd i’m gonna have to push back the fallen angel hwa fic cause im all over the place 🥹 but we’ll do better!! lol stay tuned!!

Yunho has entered the real world and he is exhausted. When his mom used to joke about living and working in this so-called real world, he used to think it was just a thing to keep him on his toes, shake him up a little bit.

Nope, that shit was all real.

And he hates it.

He hates it because it's the one thing that brings another fight to the table for your relationship. Ultimately, Yunho knows all he has to do is adjust and he'll be fine in the long run. Both of you will be fine in the long run.

But today, that feels like a stretch and he is short of patience. Unusually short of patience than usual. He knows you don't mean any harm but for some odd reason, today he feels like the world is going to swallow him alive and everything is triggering.

The first thing is the fact that he has to stay a bit later than usual to finish up a project he had been working on. He was hoping to rush home and spend some time with you before you were off to practice for the evening, spending 2-3 hours with your friends and the group.

That didn't happen.

So, when he gets home and you've already texted him saying you've left with a sad, crying face, he's bummed. He gets himself comfortable anyway, heating up a cup of ramen since he's not too hungry. Maybe he'll get some food with you when you're out— it's one of his favorite things to do.

Now, the second thing that makes him a little more irked is the fact that 2-3 hours go by and you haven't texted. He knows practice can run long, but it's also a little unusual for you to not keep him updated. You finally do a bit past 8pm with a quick:

you: hi baby, sorry! practice was a bit busy, i was caught up during breaks. i'll be home soon then i'll come over after i shower, okay? wait for me (: we should go on a food run! hehe

yunho: sounds good, love. i'll be here.

It closes to 9pm and Yunho isn't hungry anymore. The cup of ramen will do since there seems to be a dim chance of getting food with you, especially when you tell him you'll be over in a quick second but you’re still nowhere to be found. Yunho charges to the door anyway and is hoping to greet you when he swings the door open. Instead, he's greeted with you laughing and giggling with Hyunjin downstairs in the lot as he hands you a bag of to-go food.

Let's set the record straight— Yunho loves your friends. He knows he can trust them, and he knows they're all genuinely good people. He's always been happy you had a good group of people around you.

It's just today, he really, really missed you. After a long ass day. And he knows you [and Hyunjin] mean no harm in your actions, but he can't help but feel a tad bit insecure [and slightly jealous] that you aren't rushing over to see him after not being with him all day. He knows he can blame this on the fact that he's exhausted and a little short on patience. God knows he really did try to keep it cool and brush it off.

He couldn't help it.

Yunho shuts the door again, leaving it unlocked for whenever you feel ready to come upstairs and hang out with him. He sits on his computer chair, irritated, and throws on a game to distract himself momentarily. Maybe it'll help ease whatever he's feeling,

But, nope.

It doesn't.

Because when you walk in, you're still yelling out to Hyunjin and whoever before you shut the door, place the food on the counter and walk into his room. You throw your arms around him from behind and Yunho lets out a small, audible sigh. That was already alarming enough for you, but you still dip your head to the side and try to grab his attention.

"Hi." You place a quick, chaste quick to his cheek, but Yunho doesn't move.

"Hey."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Is all he says plainly. "I was just waiting for you."

"I know, but Hyunjin stopped by to give us food—"

"I thought we were gonna grab food together?"

"Oh." You frown because it completely slipped your mind, or else, you would've left the food at your own apartment to save it for tomorrow instead. "Fuck, I'm sorry. I didn't think he was gonna swing by with food. We all left each other earlier without any plans of—"

"It's okay." He taps your arms as a signal for you to let go of him. "You should go eat."

"We can share, there's more than enough—"

"All good." It's petty of Yunho, he knows. For him, it's the fact that you told him you wanted to go on a food run after practice. Another small, but meaningful thing you two did often. He doesn't blame Hyunjin for anything at all, no. There was no way of preventing that, and who the fuck was he to make you reject food from a friend?

He just wished he could take you to get food. Watch you order your favorites and do your happy dance in his passenger's seat. It's another one of his favorite things.

"Yunho." You slowly step aside and sit on his bed, your appetite all of a sudden gone from how distant your boyfriend is being. "I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"It's fine."

"Is it really? Because something feels off and I wanna know what I did so I can fix it."

"It's nothing, Y/N." You almost flinch at the way he calls you your name instead of his cute endearing nicknames. It throws you off guard so much that you resort to a flimsy, broken:

"Okay." It's barely above a whisper. You stand to head back out to the kitchen, quietly eating a bit of Hyunjin's extra to-go thai food before setting some aside in a tupperware for Yunho and placing it in the fridge. The rest of the night goes.. like that.

In silence. With weird tension.

You hate it.

You wish you could just fix whatever you did wrong, or that Yunho would tell you no matter how 'silly' it may sound. He's always been so good with communicating, even during small disagreements, you weren't sure why he was avoiding it this time around.

You quietly get ready for bed, brushing your teeth and flossing before changing out of your sweats and hoodie to Yunho's shirt. You pad into the room, slipping yourself deep under the sheets and pull up some vlogs on Youtube that you need to catch up on.

"Tired?" Yunho asks from his computer chair, still playing his game.

"Mhm." You look at him, hoping he'd come over to kiss you, cuddle you. Shut off the computer and lay next to you, show you any kind of affection. He doesn't budge, though. You feel your bottom lip trembling, your heart slowly cracking in various places. You have to take a breath to prevent yourself from crying, and Yunho can feel it. He can feel your gaze on him, he can tell you're seconds away from crying. So, Yunho stands and shuts off his computer. But, he starts to head out to the living room and you're on the verge of breaking down. His way of avoiding the issue and getting more upset was to shut down. Deflect.

This wasn't like Yunho at all so you knew something was wrong; something was that bothersome to him.

"Baby." You call for him softly, and he just looks at you. You can tell he's conflicted between keeping this up and dropping it entirely, but it doesn't seem to be enough. It's not enough for him to drop it because his expression doesn't change. He still seems cold, distant. Tired. Unlike the Yunho you're so, so used to seeing and having.

"I'm just tired. Go to sleep."

"Where are you going?"

"The living room."

"Let me come with you."

"Y/N. Please go to sleep. I told you nothing was wrong." You watch the way his jaw slightly ticks before brushing you off completely and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. A loud sigh escapes his lips as he treads to the couch and plops onto it, leaning his head back onto the edge. He shuts his eyes, giving himself some time to sort through his feelings because what the fuck, Jeong Yunho?

He knows this is much needed, though. He needed to step away for a second to regroup. He doesn't want to unintentionally hurt you by saying or doing things that he doesn't mean. He's tired, and he's acting like a fucking baby because he just wanted you at so many points today— yet, the universe just didn't let him have you. That wasn't your fault.

None of this was your fault.

He needed to do better. Just because he was exhausted, didn't mean he had to act this way towards you.

"Yo." Yeosang walks through the door, dropping his duffle bag to the floor as he steps out of his shoes. "You good?" He furrows his brows at the sight of Yunho just resting his head back with his eyes shut close.

"Mhm."

"Where's Y/N?"

"In the room." Odd, Yeosang thinks. It's not like you two to be separated like this. It's pretty obvious Yunho is bothered by something and that you've probably gotten into a small fight over it. Yeosang isn't one to meddle much, especially when it's not his business to. But, he is concerned seeing his roommate like this. It's probably one of the rare times he ever sees Yunho upset.

"You sure everything's okay? I'm not really used to seeing you sitting out in the living room in silence like this." Yunho lets out a tiny chuckle that's barely audible, but he finally turns to Yeosang and purses his lips.

"I guess. Just exhausted lately."

"I bet. You've been working your ass off." Yeosang looks into the fridge before stepping away with a cold water bottle and heading towards Yunho. "Y/N put some food in there for you, by the way."

"Did she?"

"Yeah. It has a little sticky note on top." Of course you did, why wouldn’t you? You always thought about Yunho no matter what.

"Fuck."

"What?"'

"I've been such a dick to her tonight."

"What'd you do?"

"It's so stupid." Yunho begins to explain how his day has just been all over the place— from work, to staying late and not being able to see you before practice, no updates until 3+ hours after practice, looking forward to a food run that didn't end up happening because of Hyunjin. All Yeosang can do is laugh a bit and shake his head.

"Dude, we all have bad days. It's inevitable. You're still adjusting so don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard going from a routine you were so used to, especially with Y/N. Then, having to switch it up and play tetris with your time. It's not easy. But also, I'm sure Y/N has been feeling the same way. She's just doing what she can to support you first and foremost. She'd never hurt you intentionally, and I know she'd always choose you in the end." Yunho's head drops as he leans onto his knees and sighs again.

"Fuck, you're right. I don't know why today was so difficult. I guess it all piled on for me and I didn't know how to sort through it."

"All good. Shit happens." Yeosang shrugs. "Anyway. I'm gonna head to bed. You should probably do the same. I know she's probably waiting for you."

"Thanks." Yeo gives him a little dap before he's off to get comfy and end his day. Yunho stays on the couch for a few more minutes before he brushes his teeth and washes up for bed. He stands in the bathroom for a few more seconds before gaining the courage to finally talk to you about everything that's been going on today. When he walks in, you're still bundled under the sheets, but your phone is against the wall and a video is playing. He can hear you sniffling through the video though, and he knows you've been crying.

God dammit, Yunho.

"Baby?" You hear Yunho softly call your name as he slips into bed and wraps his arms around you.

"Mhm?" You respond, still facing away from him.

"Can we talk?" You sigh and exit the video, locking your phone before turning towards Yunho and setting your phone onto the table.

"Don't force yourself if you aren't ready to."

"I am, and I'm sorry." He looks at you with those puppy dog eyes and it instantly feels like you have your loving, incredibly sweet and attentive boyfriend back.

"What happened?"

"I don't really know. To be honest, I don't have that great of an explanation. I was just tired and I was really looking forward to seeing you before practice. I couldn't see you then because of work, so I was even more excited to see you after practice and to go on our run together. But, you came later and the whole thing with Hyunjin—" He pauses and shakes his head. "It was so stupid and childish of me. I didn't need to act that way, and I'm so sorry I was such a dick to you over that." You cup his cheek and caress the surface with your thumb.

"You should've just told me, babe."

"It's so dumb, though?" He furrows his brows, mainly at himself.

"Nothing is dumb. Whatever hurts you, hurts me. We're in this together, remember? We're on the same team. I just need you to communicate and be honest, like you always tell me. Okay? I'll do anything to fix it and make it better. I'm your safe space like you are mine."

"I know." He leans into your touch before placing a soft kiss to your palm. "I'll do better."

"We have our bad days and that's okay. It won't make me love you any less. Tell me if you need space or if you need anything from me. I want you to be happy and comfortable."

"I know."

"Okay. And I'm sorry about the food run. I promise I'll keep my end of it next time."

"Wasn't your fault, baby. Nothing could have prevented that." You give him a tiny, toothless smile before kissing the tip of his nose.

"Are we okay?" He nods.

"I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way.” He repeats before leaning in to peck you on the lips. He holds the kiss before parting and looking you in the eye, brushing the hair away from your face. He dips in for another kiss— this time, it's deeper. More passionate. His hand comes down to the small of your back as he presses against you, slipping his tongue in to fight for dominance against yours. The kiss is so full of love and neediness, but there's no push or pressure to make anything out of it.

So, Yunho continues to kiss you. Pushing up against you ever so slightly while parting from your lips to leave a trail across your jaw.

Your chin.

Your neck.

Back up to your lips.

He loves the way you softly sigh in content, listening to him repeatedly whisper 'I love you' against your lips. Into your neck. Across your jaw. He loves the way you gently bite onto his bottom lip as a way of asking for more. He loves the way your fingers tug on the ends of his hair, the way you press your lips against his cheek, forehead, nose. The way you caress his cheeks and never let him go.

It's amongst the many on his list of favorite things.

He continues to coo you and praise you in between kisses throughout the night, smiling while hearing your giggles and smothering you with more kisses until you find yourself getting sleepy. He holds you close and sings a soft lullaby, playing with your hair as you drift off to sleep with the cutest smile on your face. He can’t help but admire you, fighting the exhaustion that’s been hitting him all week for a little longer. He fights it until he can’t anymore but fuck it, it’s all worth it.

Because sitting at the very top of his favorites list is you.

⇢ permanent taglist: @asjkdk @bintificreads @interweab @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs

[spinchip]

ok so i LOVE Dot but she clearly needs to be taken away from you. the NEVER REALM ARC????? ALL 60 YEARS????? calling CSP they have your location >:(

legit though why would you do her like that 😭

would she even be the kind of person to jump in front of wu like that? tbh thought she had better preservation skills then Zane (and the other ninja tbh they all love dyin fr)

She jumped in the pear wriggler herself officer I swear

Lets talk about the Mirror of dread to maybe explain some of Dots motivations. When she looks in the mirror all she sees is her own reflection. In her ninja suit, with her missing leg and her missing eye. Her greatest fear is that all she is as a person is a sum of all the choices she didn't get to make. Every aspect of her life was derailed by events out of her control- she's a cancer survivor, a victim of the great devourer, and the Ninja of ice. all of those things were forced upon her. She wanted to be a kindergarten teacher. She wanted to get married and have children and live a normal, suburban life but that was not in the cards for her.

I think she tends to make questionable choices because at least she has some sort of control that way. Standing by while Wu is blasted by Aspheera doesn't feel like a choice to her. It feels like inaction. Its another awful moment in her life, but at least now she can actually do something about it. She doesn't know the consequences. She just thinks to herself "I can save him." And chooses to try. Dot wants her life so bad. She wants it to be her own, not dictated constantly by the world around her. Unfortunately it leads her to more pain, but her story isn't over yet! She will get a happy ending.

This also brings up an interesting thought- what was Zane really trying to do in that scene? Was he trying to sacrifice himself? Or did the Staff inflate his sense of invincibility, and he dove in front of Wu intending on using the staff to deflect the blow and fail? The latter is how I see Dots approach to the moment. It was always about Saving someone, not sacrificing yourself in their stead.

It's 1 am I might come back tomorrow and touch on the topic again bc I love dot she's so complex but those are my thoughts rn

[zeephyre]

CR3: EPISODE 63 SPOILERS

I'm literally losing my mind rn guys

i haven't even finished the episode yet as im typing this, currently ashton is holding laudna as she cries on their shoulder after she sucked the life out of bor'dor.

i always had the suspicion that bor'dor wasn't telling the truth or telling a version of the truth, but i never really talked about it cause everyone was throwing out theories. i had an...inkling that he was connected to ludinus or just ruidus in general, and i was right in a way.

him being ruby vanguard is devastating but not surprising. it connected so many things that i chose to brush off cause i didn't want to seem paranoid. a specific moment being bor'dor killing the angel of the dawn father. during that scene, the way matt described the look in that angel's eyes as it died did not match the way that bor'dor retold it and i thought i had just...forgotten how the actual scene played out. now that i know, even tho i haven't rewatched that episode, i have a feeling that the hatred and righteous judgement i remembered was the accurate version.

i don't think bor'dor is bad, simply because i have no way to come to that conclusion when i know how easy it is to let fear and pain and anger drive you to vengeance -- the hellians are feeling it too, and i feel deep compassion for them so i feel for bor'dor too.

for all of ludinus' preachy bullshit he never gave me the impression that he gave a single fuck about the people who followed him or about the lives he ruined to accomplish his goal. i don't think bor'dor was some big wig, i think he was just a kid who was vulnerable and powerful and easily coerced. i do not think he is without blame -- his actions with the ruby vanguard have led to incomprehensible repercussions for everyone on exandria and outside of exandria too. (bear in mind, we don't even know how the apple bee's soul cycle has affected the fey realm -- or any other realms for that matter).

i think that there was no way bor'dor could have survived this night with the way it went. i don't think there could have been a moment where he snuck away. if he got a lucky roll, maybe. i don't think bor'dor died because /he/ was an unforgivable monster.

he died because laudna, ashton and orym were at their breaking point and none of them wanted to pull each other from that place of hatred and anger. they've spoken about feeling powerless -- terrified and angry at the situation they were forced into when they truly have nothing to do with ludinus' anger at the gods. orym, especially, has been struggling with his grief and his stubbornness, and this moment will have effects on all of them for these upcoming battles and hardships.

laudna. jesus christ. im so upset that delilah is back. or at least pieces of her are thriving inside laudna, seemingly every time she uses her necrotic magic. for a single moment, she felt delilah's complete control over herself and other people in a situation where laudna had no idea what to do and how to get shit done, and as soon as delilah had nothing left of bor'dor to scavenge off of, laudna was back to feeling weak.

i can't even process the lore drops of ashton's heritage and his father and the history of the hishari and the fact that abadina WAS an hishari ???? they need to go that cursed town soon or im gonna lose it. hell, maybe they're already headed there.

deni$e might say she didn't care whether bor'dor lived or died but i know that isn't true because she was a) the only person who didn't actually hurt him and b) she was trying the entire time to get the others to at least interrogate him. i don't think that would work for multiple reasons. bor'dor was yeeted to kingdom come so bor'dor would likely not have anything useful for them atp, and also bor'dor is absolutely not nearly as important to ludinus as they need him to be.

im gonna miss utkarsh 😭

i think that maybe if bells hells was together, he'd live. but ashton, laudna and orym are too... there's something dangerous about these three being separated from their people. dangerous for themselves mentally and for anyone who stands in their way. i NEED bells hells to be reunited again.

it's sad that the characters with such a strong history of loss and betrayal and abandonment and grief and loss of control would have the traitor amongst them. there is nothing that bor'dor could say that would lessen the pain orym feels having lost his husband and his father, of him and his friends being killed by a cruel, vicious comrade of ludinus', of the tempest being trapped /because/ orym was the one who led her straight into it. the gods are all good and well, but i don't think it will EVER be about the gods for orym. i won't say he's correct or in the right for his narrowed vision and hardened heart. he took that locket for a reason, and throwing it aside is a calculated disposal of that inherently inconvenient empathy orym has for people around him. he can't afford to feel. not now.

[depressopax]

If I may? Headcanons of Mike with an s/o who is a soft dom like him. I wanna spoil that old man and make him feel loved ok. Please and thank you<3.

Thanks for the request!! I LOVE THIS IDEA <3 Jfc I wanna make this man feel loved rn 😭❤

Being Mike Ehrmantrauts soft dom - Headcanons

Fandom - Breaking Bad/Better call Saul

Pairing: Mike Ehrmantraut x gn!reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. Sub!Mike + dom!reader, degradation, praise kink, mentions of choking etc. (Lmk if I missed something) Words: 900 Summary: Being a soft dom for Mike would include… English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! <3 AO3 link

Just like you, Mike likes being in charge

In bed, he wants to dom and be on top of you.

He feels the most comfortable when he has control of a situation

It’s probably because of past as an ex-cop, and the work he does for Gus -

He feels like he always needs to be in control of whatever situation he’s in, and act a certain way. Kinda scared to “let down his guard”

He’s been through a lot and often feels like he has no control over life - but in bed, he can easily dominate his partner and regain that feeling.

When you told Mike you wanted to dominate him, he just laughed.

…Until he realized you were being serious.

“No.”“But… Mike!”“No.”“Just once?”“No.”

He’s not the one to give up his power so easily.

He has a rough exterior, even in bed.

He wouldn’t tell you so, but he does find the thought of being dominated appealing.

Somehow, you manage to make him agree - and switch it up a little bit.

“Only once. Never again”…Or so he says, before realizing how much he likes being under your control.

The feeling of having you on top whilst fucking him was new to him, and such an amazing feeling.

He liked the way he could just rest back and have someone take care of him. 

He’d find it “humiliating” at first, to be slutted out by his partner

But then realized how much he liked it

…The humiliating feeling only made it more enjoyable, tbh.

Though he appreciates you being a soft dom, he doesn’t mind you being rough with him.

Letting you dominate him made him realize a few things.

For example: - Mike enjoys when you degrade him. Call him a “needy bitch”, he’ll go feral. - He likes challenging your authority over him, acting like a dom, even when he’s submissive under you, especially when you punish him for having an attitude. - Speaking of punishments? Mike likes them. He even goes as far as testing your limits, until you punish him for whatever he did.

Just remember to praise him, too.

He’s almost embarrassed by how much it turns him on to have you calling him “good boy”

Homeboi def has both a praising- AND degradation kink.

Seeing you in charge is hot. 

He’s used to having you being his submissive and this new side excites him. 

It’s a turn on to have you bossing him around and having you being soft and loving, or rough and dominant. 

He doesn’t mind you using toys on him, if you’re into that.

But he doesn’t really like pain inflicted.

Some light choking, slapping, spanking etc… You name it, is ok to him (only if he’s the one receiving it), if he gets some good aftercare and rewards of course.

After a long rough day at work, he just wants to come home and have you do him until he’s too exhausted to think.

You jokingly call him “Needy slut” when he practically begs you to do him, but little did you know he actually is. And he’s not ashamed of it ;)

When you dom him, he’d probably be quiet at first, not wanting to moan too much

But you pretty much demanded him to be loud lmao

Mike will be moaning, cussing and whimpering for you, especially if you overstimulate or edge him.

Just edge him and he’ll whimper ;)

He is very obedient, well, most of the time at least.

He does like being “bratty” and disobeying your orders, only to make you mad. 

But in most cases, he obeys.

“Kneel” is all you have to say, and then watch him drop to his knees, crawling up to you. - Nah but imagine sitting on the couch with your legs spread - Mike kneeling between them, looking up at you as he caresses your legs - Him looking up at you with admiration, waiting for orders from you - And then watching him go down on you, working passionately to please you… - Probably would come undone just from going down on you. - OGMFMKNGSFNGF-

Of course, he still wants some “attention” too, which you give him - …But he’ll have to beg for it - He loves receiving heads from you, and knowing that you like satisfying him. - Nah but fr, you of course take care of his needs too.

You’d have a safeword for him to use, but he hasn’t used it yet.

There’s something satisfying with seeing you be cruel and rough in bed

Seeing your rough exterior boyfriend be all soft and submissive in bed is a very pleasant sight.

Though you said it was a “one-time thing”, It stays that way. 

Mike going from being dominant and cold in the bedroom - to being a whimpering mess under your control.

He’s yours to use, however you please… 

Because once comfortable with being a sub, he has no intentions of doing things differently, unless you tell him to, of course…

He loves foreplay and aftercare as much as he likes the main event - where you fuck him up.

…But most of all, he’s a slut for some good aftercare.

Which you are more than happy to give him.

Just cuddling up to him, whispering praise and making him feel appreciated and loved <33

You love praising him afterwards and show mow much he means to you.

Because, the dom-side away - you love him dearly and he deserve love.

You make sure he’s ok.

“I hope I didn’t break your hip or something, old man” “...Funny.”“You know I love you”“I love you too…”(I’m sorry 😭💀)

Mike being very affectionate towards you too

You’re his dom after all, and he just wants to make you proud, happy and be your good boy ;)

Idk how I feel about this one lolol but I hope you enjoyed <3

[justyourtypicalwriter]

service dog au hcs because i cant be normal about them?? 👀

Kyle: 👻🫂💔🌟

Stan: 🎶👽💤😶

Kenny: 👻🎶🦾💔

Clyde: 💤🦾🥇😶

Butters: 👽💔💄😶

Cartman: 👻👽😺😶

Craig: 👻🦾🌟😶

Tweek: 👽🫂🍫😶

sorry its a lot 😭 if youd rather not do any feel free not to lmao

Oh my fucking god this took me way longer than it should have😭-

tw for slight talk of suicide

Kyle: 

👻 - OOH OKAY. Now, I could get REALLY into this with a multitude of different things but the main one has got to be not having control. It’s why he hates being “sick” and hates the aspect of having a service dog for a while. He can’t control when he’ll have a P.O.T.S flare up, he can’t control when he’ll have a bad high or low, he can’t control his tolerance to taking food by mouth nor can he control if it’ll trigger a flashback of some sorts. Mainly, he can’t control where he is on the dependency scale. Kyle needs someone to be there for extra supervision, as much as Noble has benefited him. But at the same time, Kyle is a very stubborn, independent person. He doesn’t want some constant dependency on someone. He has no control over his physical or mental health so he craves control over other factors in life so he doesn’t feel like such an unstable mess.

🫂 - Picking someone for this one was tricky but I think I’m gonna talk about Kyle and Tweek’s relationship while I have this. I see Tweek and Kyle as staying kind of close after Tweek was in their group. They help each other out, especially after Tweek is placed with the Broflovski’s during their senior year. Kyle shows Tweek some distraction techniques he’s picked up on and Tweek works with Kyle to find innovative ways to help him slowly regain some of his independence.

💔 - Such bad emetophobia. It’s not really bad when he’s not the one vomiting though. The ARFID really fucks him over. There was a short period of time where he went on and off the nasal tube, I wanna say like every now and then from 11-13. He really thought he was getting better…he wasn’t. The summer of freshman year is when he really started going downhill at a rapid pace. Just the thought of eating could send him vomiting. Sometimes it’s only for a few minutes, sometimes it's an hour plus.  It hurts, it makes him feel horrible and it happens so often. More often than not he’s shaking, hunched over the toilet bowl either fighting back or in tears. And the poor thing is left exhausted and feeling absolutely disgusting afterwards.

🌟 - This one’s a fun one too. He wants to travel, see the world you know? He’s been so coddled most of his life that he never got the proper chance to but he’s determined to make it happen. 

Stan: 

🎶 - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3HoLXMmVuoMXPGbTHk7zvL?si=g9r63piOQz2thQKgmXJ3zg&pi=u-Kr5cAidHSeya (I’m jamming to this rn lmao)

👽 - I’m not sure if this counts as a quirk, I mean I kind of feel like it falls under a personality quirk but has a tendency to react emotionally to some things at times while at other times he could give less of a shit.

💤 - Sleep? WHERE?!? (but for some reason he sleeps perfectly fine when a certain redhead is nearby…*cough* fags *cough*)

😶 - This crusty ass emo wet cat looking bitch LOVES dance. Ballet in particular. He rocks gothic ballet routines but he’ll dance to anything. Just him and his fucking black point shoes. If it weren’t for the crippling depression he’d be unstoppable. And no one suspected that he dances until the kids are like thirteen when Stan was bored out of his mind while the gang was at Starks Pond and started doing a bunch of fun tricks to entertain himself. The rest of the groups standing there, jaws on the floor, minds blown because since when did Stanley fucking Marsh know how to do this.

Kenny:

👻 - Losing a loved one, whether it’s a family or friends. Kenny is immortal, he’s gonna keep coming back, but the others? Any health scare, accident, or attempt of someone worries him a lot. It’s why he always has his bag of shit, he’s so worried about losing someone.

🎶 - https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3lhm5rFXq1TXuMUKDiptuI?si=CY4XjCHAQr-fxXDHwQ4dlw&pi=u-E6jLyFZgTFam 

🦾 - Muscular Dystrophy & Chronic Pain (live, laugh, love chronic pain Kenny)

💔 - Okay, okay this one’s more of the concept is angsty when you think of it, but Kenny himself could give less of a shit. Kenny in this au is relatively happy, I mean yeah being chronically ill sucks total ass but he’s chilling with it. The only thing is that Kenny kills himself a lot. He’s ever curious and loves to see what happens. He ends up hanging in Hell with Damien for a while before being sent back and before he knows it he’s wondering “hm, wonder if that’ll happen again-“

Clyde: 

💤 - Clyde has a rocky sleep schedule. His health issues aren’t the reason for it though, it’s Fable. As mentioned in a previous post, she’s a little demon shit and has an ungodly amount of energy. Clyde finds this hysterical until it’s time to get up for school and he’s only slept like three hours.

🦾 - Clyde’s disability for the au is still being debated! Suggestions are currently open!

🥇 - I have a general headcanon that Clyde is really good at videography! Which, for all my Tyde girlies, falls into one of my general headcanons for Tolkien which is script writing. They make short films together and his biggest accomplishment is that one of their films won first place in their school's film contest.

😶 - He’ll play outside in the snow for HOURS. Even more now than when he was a kid since he’s got Fable. Clyde will just take her out for hours and they’ll have the time of their lives.

Butters:

👽 - Yet another personality quirk: Butters always has a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm for someone who’s been through so much shit in his life. He’s an optimist, it’s what draws people in.

💔 - Okay I just really love antagonizing his parents so so much. Haven is owner trained, Butters bought her himself when he was thirteen. When she was still a puppy something minor happens and Steven isn’t very happy about it so he fucking SELLS her. And Butters is so heartbroken. He only had this dog for a week and suddenly she’s just ripped away. It’s actually Cartman (for the most part) who helps him get her back. 

💄 - I know this one’s really basic but I adore giving Butters his eye scar from ‘Fun With Weapons”. It’s very intimidating but Butters is just a silly, goofy guy. 

😶 - Y’know those Instagram and Etsy shops that sell custom service dog gear? Butters is really into sewing and he runs one! Giving gifts has never been easier, he just makes them a new piece of gear.

Cartman: 

👻 - As much as I love antagonizing Cartman, I love when he has a soft spot for the main four (+Butters) a lot more. So if anyone’s acting out of character it lowkey has him shook. And with good reason, the gang has trauma from finding Stan post suicide attempt. It baffled Cartman since Stan had been acting more than okay for the past week. The bastard cares for his friends although he’ll never fucking tell them so he’s been paying attention to behavior changes ever since, even if they’re minor.

👽 - I’m actually gonna go dive a little deeper into the heterochromia thing. So if my memory is serving me correctly, the eye comes from Kenny so it’s blue. But every so often it has a purplish hue to it for a short period of time. Oh so conveniently, our favorite little poor boy is freshly back from Hell and his eye color has shifted from blue to a freakishly violet shade.

😺 - Oooooh y’all really want me to yap about Dolly. Firstly, she’s so soft. Like her fur was already soft but being that Cartman takes such good care of her, her fur is probably as good as it can get. He’s so gentle with her and she absolutely adores him. As for the rest of the kids: she’s not overly eager to go up to them but she likes them. Except for Kyle she fucking HATES him. 

😶 - Unfortunately Cartman is severely underdeveloped at the moment due to him being the most recent addition to the au so I literally don’t have anything else to say about him.

Craig: 

👻 - I feel like all of these fears have been really angsty but Craig’s is just spiders. They creep him the fuck out. Also high school musical-

🦾 - Epilepsy!

🌟 - It’s really a matter of what he wants to do first. He doesn’t act like it but Craig is really ambitious. Working in something with space is always something he’s wished to do. But he’s also into music (a mix of Tweek and Stan’s fault) and wants to learn violin. 

😶 - I love headcanoning that Craig has piercings so let’s jazz this up for the au a bit. In his late teen years he was (illegally) denied service at various piercing parlors because of Saturn. So he self teaches himself how to (semi) safely do piercings without being a professional and does them for his friends if they want.

Tweek: 

👽 - Second physical quick of the ask but it’s freckles! I love giving Tweek freckles but the ones that are barely visible at any time that’s not summer. That’s when they come out. 

🫂 - I already talked about his relationship with Kyle so let’s talk about Tweek and Clyde. I only just started playing around with their dynamic a few weeks ago while writing a bunch of Staig drabbles. It’s always really funny to me because you’ve got paranoid sarcasm meets hyperactive sensitivity.

🍫 - What a little stress baker! He can’t cook for shit but the boy sure can bake. And he like over bakes too. He doubles the recipe almost every time. It used to be easy to get rid of the extras, he’d just take them to the shop so they could be sold. But after the meth bust he’d basically ding-dong-ditch his friends and leave baskets of baked goods on their doorsteps. 

😶 - Him, Kenny, Kyle, and Bebe all drove out of Colorado for the weekend when they were seventeen because they all needed a break. They stayed at an inn for the weekend and no one knew where they went. So yeah, they were having the time of their lives while everyone back home was losing their shit.

feel free to ask if you want elaborations!

[silusvesuius]

hold on i'm about tos tart spitting facts right now, My nelvas in t*lltale twd setting i was thinking about for a bit; as i said........... they have a perfect imbalanced dynamic dats fun to play with so they obviously would do 'Good' in a zombie apocalypse too......UUUUUUUUUUUU 😭UUWAH😭WWWWWWA😭AHHHHHHHH NELVAAS anyways:

i just spent minutes writing a calmer caption for this but tumblr threw that take away so we're left with what we have above. anyways i wrote most of this riding a high. 🤗

first off talvas always gives me spiraling med student vibes so that's what he is. he's like ~24 as i always label him, so probably getting a masters. that won't matter soon though lol. something to do with surgery so that it's convenient to the setting and his 'role' in a group. (logically it would make more sense for him to be into engineering and such, but that's not alldat interesting for this or any setting at all imo)

and then obviously neloth wud be a professor perhaps or just someone talvas sees on the regular for educational purposes. i'm just gonna say he's pushing 70 but still not retired for some reason (he's a Tryhard). i honestly get the feeling he would carry the same level annoyance people get from Larry of s1 except he doesn't really start fights + has no actual 'good' reason to be that unbearable unlike Larry, who did have crumbs of a tragic past/loss. he's big on researching stuff at his own alone time and has an extensive record of abusing and testing on animals i BET! but it gets covered up pretty easily, or no one really wants to get into that debacle with him. everyone knows that if he could he'd test on people too.

i'm not gonna start making up entire lifestories rn so let's get to the zombie part. they obviously end up together involuntarily, talvas isn't really overjoyed but doesn't detest it either, since he respects neloff deeply and trusts his judgement (sometimes). neloth just keeps him around because he knows he can't just be walking around free at his old age in an apocalyptic world and needs a meat-shield with him at all times, especially someone young that has more energy/physical abilities than him. but obviously talvas is not always able to be big help to him just cause he's pretty "Soft" and wasn't ever prepared for anything like this. he's still stressing over his finals or soemthing bruh. they develop a strong 'bond' @ some point just cause neloth isn't liked by anyone and nobody is actually willing to stick with him thru it all but talvas. just bc it's easy for him to cling onto someone that reminds him of the normal past. when neloth realizes that someone is willing to look past his nasty behavior or practices, or is just afraid to voice their own opinion, he starts being pretty open with that person (talvas in this case), a form of trust. it's not just cause talvas is a lil bitch, but also cause he himself shares some opinions that neloth has on other people's lives/their worth/morality. it's something that would stick out from his personality in any setting at all but here it's even more important from all the deaths happening around them, especially when they're grouped up with other people. their apocalypse journey is just 90% talvas trying to do damage control and apologizing for neloth's behavior by saying he has a (NPD) diagnosis he has never taken care of before the whole zombie thing happened so u should be patient with him

so obvi the best part of this all would definitely be seeing how they would gel with a group of other survivors. it's funny too because talvas is literally always the only reason nobody throws neloth out to die or just blows his head off clean bc they had enough. talvas takes on the role of a medic like Katt in s1, and is 'high ranking' just cause of that. neloth is a 1000001% even more capable of taking on that role, but i just Know......he would just refuse to do it cus he doesn't feel like it. he'd probably try and separate himself from the group or any discussions they might have because he doesn't value anyone's opinion on anything at all. the only thing keeping him in a group would be talvas begging him to stay (neloth not being able to separate from him for reasons listed above) and him finding something to do to keep himself occupied. and Happy at that 😍 it goes like this: (talvas voice) hey remember your wife that turned last week so we had to put her down ? Yes about that i;m sorry to bring her up, Yeah stop crying i'm sorry, anyways as i was saying.. Sir neloth dug her out of that grave and is currently ripping of her skin tidbits to lab test them, just thought you should know.. don't tell him i told you anything please he'll get really mad at me okay . also your son that you didn't have the heart to put down and just left him for us to deal with? Tied to a bed, he already turned so it's no big deal, sir neloth broke his jaw off so he can't do anything to you if you feel like seeing him. Sir neloth chops his limbs off to see what happens sometimes. it's smells like crazy in there tho so wear this mask if you wanna go in, just warning you.

can't say there'd be an apparent motive that others see in his experimental, kinda unethical, ventures, but talvas assures everyone that there is one. nobody knows. But honestly neloth is too smart of a guy to just be testing on people out of pure curiosity, it might be him trying to blow out his ego to an unimaginable degree by trying to figure out how the whole infection works, how to stop someone from turning or how to cure someone who's been bitten. tasks very ambitious but keeping him busy and away from everyone else. he mostly only communicates and shares 'secrets' with talvas because talvas has faith in him and doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing. bonus: the whole group hates neloth even more because he keeps using the generator power to have talvas shave his head even though that should be his last priority. neloth is in seventh heaven the whole time (not showing it) just cause his dream of getting to experiment on people without being thrown in jail became true

cute fact: if they ever got into a St. John's dairy type situation and were confronted with the fact that they committed cannibalism.... they rly wouldn't gaf especially neloth. i can see talvas turning to look at him just to see how he feels (and form his opinion on the situation around his reaction) and neloth is just chilling getting his stomach full. talvas wud be disgusted by the food but then eat regardless. feels Funny for the remainder of his life after that. it really doesn't bother neloth tho. i had other situations in mind for them but they slipped out of my mind for now lmfao

neloth would have the most insane plot armor of all time to the extent that even though he's always working closely with the undead he'd never get bitten or just get killed. his ego is shielding him from everything because he values his life so much that it works in his favor. talvas latches onto that plot armor just because he's the 'closest' person to neloth but he's too nice of a person to actually survive for a very long time. he'd get Bitten😂😂😂😂 #FlyHigh but actually the nicest thing(s) neloth has ever done for him would happen after that occurrence... i feel like they'd hide that fact from everyone as a team and neloth would try to do something about it. but talvas dies anyway bye king. love you

wait Update: i forgot i wanted to write down some of this here as a bonus too. skyrim would still be in warfare but it just gets paused for zombies. i really want (we all want something don't we damnn) for elenwen and all her thalmorlings to be stuck together with some imperials in a military base perhaps. doesn't matter. just leading up to the fact that thalmor would have free reign to commit cannibalism (not every single one of them is into the idea but they're not that disgusted by it) while the imperials just try to survive on actual supplies. Elenwen: Back on summerset isles we were always taught not to waste 🤓🤓. they have the most civil agreement where the thalmor would promise not to eat any imperials if they let them eat outsiders as they pleased.

[solifloris]

so curious why sylus has you this hooked when he's so different from xavier and the guys you tend to like

RIGHT OK i was going to not be as unhinged over him on the dash as i truly was being in my head, BUT SINCE YOU ASKED.... buckle up anonie bc this is LONG long <3

ok but honestly genuinely i don't account for my lane switch to be official at the moment, bc on account of visually, given what we know? i'm still v much into xavier! and we just. don't know anything else set in stone about sylus yet!

and all this has honestly WAY less to do with how he looks or how he portrays the villain aesthetic, which i know is what like- ive been seeing most people attached to. he has the vibes from that trailer, undeniably, but it's also really not why i'm so interested in him—

as much as the why.

as much as the how.

as much as the how far.

so i guess you could say i'm just hella on my toes rn for the potential?

in my head he has very much of a morally grey anti-hero trope; arguably right intentions, wrong methods, sort of a thing. enough so that he'd become the villain, instead of trying to play hero in some way like the others—enough so that, whether he chose to be this way at first or not, he did grow to the need for there to be a stronger catalyst that can be selfish, that doesn't care so much for morals or being "good".

and when you put that into perspective, it means he didn't start out with that kind of mindset.

so what pushed him so far? what was the breaking point? why did he turn to this path? and how different did he will himself to become just to achieve all of this?

then simultaneously it makes you think, like. what about mc would make him need her so much, love her so much, possibly obsess over, that he would turn his back on those convictions just to love her? and then like,,,,, to think about how his world could come crashing under the realization of his love for her, through all he's done and has been doing? how he'd struggle with his emotions and his actions and how to be affectionate with her in a manner that's genuine yet still acceptable? the intensity of it all that he has to learn to control... and then the gentleness that could eventually be found amidst whatever passion or desperation there probably is in that love?

and you'll find this absolutely the fuck out of pocket from me of all people because "wtf? roxie? being soft on main instead?!" but he does feel like the type to slow dance with in the kitchen at midnight, to walk barefoot on the pavement back home after a long day, shoes in your hands, lamplight flickering above you... and not in like, a goofy sort of way? but just? the vibes of pure, possibly intense, sort of love? like. like running his fingers theough your hair waiting for you to fall asleep first, watching the way the moonlight scatters on your face as you do. or looking into your eyes trying to convey something with such ardor and fervency; maybe it's a plea, maybe it's love or aftection or adoration, maybe it's determined.... you get it.

it's the vibes.

it's the possibilities that come with the vibes. it's the possibilities of how he could be, given that the situation and the set-up and the vibes that we can glean from the trailer open up so many options.

so to me it feels like there's like an 85% chance i might fall head over heels for him.

you say he doesn't have the trope of the fictional characters i tend to like; you have not yet seen me cry over wei wuxian, or khun, or blackwater, or moriarty... 😭✋

and like.

we'll still see, obviously, if this is enough to pull me away from xavier, but—if i like the depth in his character? if i like his development? if i like his backstory? if i like his portrayal, if i like his relationship with mc and how their love story is portrayed? then... maybe. it's still a maybe, because we don't know anything yet, but it's a pretty strong maybe.

[dandyshucks]

i feel like i should say something, some kind of apology or smth, idk ^^;;

i would looove to say that i won't display symptoms ever again or that i'll "do better" to keep it under control but honest to god i am doing my absolute best already, and the only way i could do better w my current state is to get medicated but that's not an option rn (this small town only has one psychiatrist and he's ... not good at what he does. sigh). i will of course continue to try very hard and keep working on things the way that i can and look for new ways of tackling the brain scaries and coping with it!

my main way i've been dealing w trying not to display symptoms publicly is just to err on the side of extreme caution and try not to post anything here that isn't strictly "i love this fictional character teehee", but sometimes i feel stifled by that rule and want to connect w ppl on more than just "yayy my bouyfriend". like i want to be Me but ,, i think Me is probably just,,, not all that great ^^;;;; so i'm thinking maybe it'd be best if i just take a step back again and go on a mostly-hiatus for a while until i get the welfare and disability stuff sorted out (but that could take. several months. so idk 😭😭) bc its been rly having a bad effect on my mental health and stability, ack !!

i also feel like i need to tell everyone that they do not Need to interact w me or respond to anything i say ever, that you should only do so if u Want to, not because u feel Obligated to, but that implies that i would ever have the power over someone to be able to "make" them feel like they have to do smth and that in itself is an egotistical thought which is "bad". so. gestures vaguely at this paragraph. i just have to sit and hope that nobody feels like they Must interact w me in any way, but i do not know how to express it without sounding dismissive or ungrateful or presumptuous or egotistical. when i say "i appreciate this!" it's just that - i appreciate it, but i do not expect it, so please don't feel pressured ever!

anyways, i appreciate the patience and kindness ppl show me (though i do not expect it dsfjkl) and i will continue trying to keep the unwell brain stuff under wraps as much as i'm able to (and i absolutely understand if ppl cannot deal w that and leave! i won't be offended!). i haven't actually said sorry in this but do know i feel badly about it and i'm trying to figure out how to fix this so it doesnt happen more, i just dont know if a "sorry" is really any use here fdsjkl

[prythianpages]

ACOTAR Tag Game

Thank you for the tag! @ninthcircleofprythian (you tagged my main but I'll post it on here <3 I also promise I didn't just copy & paste, we just have very similar minds bc I agreed with you on most of these lol)

Answer the questions below & tag whoever you want, or make it an open tag!!

Who's your favourite ACOTAR character?

Do I have to pick? It's so hard! But since I'm in my Eris era, I'll go with him rn.

Who's your least favourite character?

It's between Mor or Amren. Idk, I just don't really vibe with them as much.

Say something nice about your least favourite character.

I did like that Amren gave Feyre that ruby or jewelry to give her the courage to go back to the prison. That was sweet of her 🥹 & Mor for taking Feyre away from Spring.

Who's your favourite High Lord? (If you picked one for your fav character, then who's your second fav!)

It's also Helion. He seems like such a good time (; like mans has the best library in prythian and glorious thighs??? c'mon now

Favourite MINOR character?

The Suriel. I loooooove gossip and would literally just summon them for the tea.

Favourite ship? (Crackships included!)

Azris hehe. They'd be so hot together.

Favourite court and why?

This is hard to answer when SJM hasn't given us much info about other courts 😭 So I think I'd have to pick Summer Court because I love the ocean and if there are mermaids, it's over for me there. I love them!

Make up a brand new court RIGHT NOW, NO PREP JUST VIBES.

OOhh! Umm...idk what I would name it but it would be nice if there was a court inspired by Dia De Los Muertos/ Day of the Dead. Like an underworld type of court where the High Lord/Lady there can helping the souls of prythian after they die and somehow it's associated with Starfall. Marigold Court? idk lol Like I said lame name but cool concept.

What relationship would you have wanted to see more of in the books?

Honestly, I would sell my soul for a pre-ACOTAR book that focuses on the Bat Boy friendship. Like when Cas mentioned waking up naked with some decoration around him? And Az hiccuping when drunk?? I NEED to know more.

What's your unpopular opinion?

Idek if this is unpopular but I do feel for Tamlin. He did fuck up but given other characters have also fucked up, I really hope he gets a redemption arc or is able to pick himself up. Like dude is really going through it and so are his people, someone pls save Spring I also kinda wished Amren had stayed dead. I don't hate her character but it felt too good to be true when both her and Rhys died and then they came back to life. It would've had more impact if one of them stayed dead.

What's your favourite headcanon/fan canon?

Right now? These body headcannons from @readychilledwine

If you were to be swept away to Prythian, what's ONE thing you would want to do?

I would want to experience Starfall with the IC. I love looking at the sky, especially stars and the moon and with all those hotties? Sign me tf up.

If you could have ONE faerie ability seen in the books, which would it be?

I would love to control water! Blame my mermaid fascination & h2O tv show addiction for this haha. But also making water wolves sounds so cool.

no pressure tags: @stormhearty, @daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @sarawritestories, @sillysillygoose444,

@acotarxreader, @pit-and-the-pen, @lady-of-tearshed

[trans-advice]

hi! i’m afab and questioning if i’m trans. i live in the us and with everything going on rn it’s not the best time to be realizing that lmao. but anyway, i’m a minor and my parents are pretty accepting. the trans thing started really recently, like a couple weeks ago. i had a different gender crisis a year ago and some gender feelings on and off since then but none have been as bad as this. i’ve been going back and forth between lesbian and bisexual for a few years and i finally had the courage to come out to my parents as a lesbian about a month ago, but now i’m pretty sure i’m bisexual and trans in some way 😭 i’m scared if i come out again too soon they’ll think it’s a phase. i can’t tell whether i’m trans or not. i have a pretty small chest compared to most but i still wish it was flat. my best friend is a trans guy and i find myself getting really jealous of him because i wish i could just be perceived as a boy (or at least not as a girl). my name and being called she/her has always sorta felt weird to me, not really bad but just like i’m dissociated from it or something. i really don’t feel like a girl at all, but this all started so recently and i felt decently feminine before, and i never really showed any childhood signs of being trans (besides maybe wanting to be a couple different male fictional characters when i was like 12), so i’m scared it’s a phase and i’m just faking it. i don’t trust myself to figure it out accurately, it’s like i need someone to tell me i’m trans in order to not feel like i’m a fake. i feel like if i really were trans i should have known from a younger age. plus, i feel really bad about potentially changing my name and pronouns (even tho i kinda want to) because it’s just gonna be an inconvenience to everyone i know to have to remember to call me something different. sorry this is so long, i know it’s kinda a mess but general advice would be helpful lmao. thanks for running this blog!

IDK how safe coming out is for you, so I do want you to keep your safety in mind more than I want you to prioritize the convenience of others. People in general when they don't want to be inconvenienced just don't get involved. If they're involved enough & it's a safe environment & relationship, then adding the living name & pronouns probably isn't a problem. If they're not involved though then they probably won't even try to learn or remember your name.

As for explaining the difference between sexual orientation & gender identity to your parents, gender identity is everywhere where sexual orientation is more focused on the bedroom. Say when you went with the affirmation of lesbian that it ended up not affirming everything. Like to be fair, trans men are part of the sapphic community because the oppression against trans people (which includes nonbinary people) is more intense than that against being a woman instead of a man.

People's gender identity can change over time & that's fine. Such matters are out of our control. The point is to affirm which ever gender identity you have.

I would probably start with creating online accounts that affirm your gender identity & some same (possibly an alias) that sounds cool to you. Then search for spaces where lgbtqia+ people are welcome, then search for spaces where lgbtqia+ people aren't kicked out. Whether these are online or in-person, keep an eye out for safety procautions.

Good Luck, Peace & Love,

Eve

[thegeminisage]

ok im playing more zelda!! i feel awful this is literally all i can do rn

you know i miss the match over bell from botw. it was so good

FAIRIES IN THIS CAVE...thank god

i fucking hate this place btw. rauru's settlement or whatever. i hate bottomless bogs

i guess in regards to gameplay it's not that different than lava - more forgiving, even! lava kills you instantly and sometimes you can fight your way out of a bog! - but it FEELS worse. it's uglier for one thing

i'm really close to the lost woods so i'm gonna see if i can navigate it without a torch! since i can see the wind blowing. i have so many korok seeds to trade in lol

took me one false start but i made it! i just had to walk veeery slowly lol

MAXED OUT my weapon storage already. damn.

going to check out a tiny chasm i've been eyeballing forever. i deserve a break

i used to feel so nervous being this close to hyrule castle in botw...the hills between it and the lost woods...it's not as bad in totk although i am still hugging the water. i don't want the music to play lol

fucking korok seed i was supposed to get by starting a fire and using a pinecone to go straight up. it was raining. i had to make the most convoluted structure out of dead trees it took FOREVERRR

how exciting!! after awhile away from the depths i land right on top of a yiga camp AND i can see an easy lightroot from here. a gentle reintroduction

ooh, this book talks about lights that appear and then vanish....that's fucking spooky. i hope they dont mean hands lol

ive been wanting to try "hoverbikes" that ive heard about and theres some fans here, so

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OH THIS IS THE MOST FUN IVE EVER HAD. WOW

ok my bike died but for a test run that was NOT bad

this area is all explored except this one dark spot that i've just now lit up...i'll grab a few poes and go somewhere else

i'm gonna go to goron city and buy my stupid fire helmet. i swear if i don't kill that gleeok on lake hylia i'll die

oh! i found the goron brothers house! kabetta's diary...

uh oh, it's his marbled rock roast descent

ooh, i found the sidequest to get a boulder breaker!!

where tf do i get a cobble crusher these days i wonder...

god i forgot how fun minecarts are. i saw one of the oldstyle ones on my way by...

kilton's balloon! or um. whoever he is lol <3 i have TOOOONS of gems to trade

it's not the same here without the lava, but at least there's lava in the caves...

these mine cart tracks were RIDICLOUS. i got SO STUCK lol

i see dinraAl but im too close to the ground 😭

OOOOHHHHH maybe i can use a hoverbike.....i gotta finish this fight first lol

GOT A COBBLE CRUSHER.....oh man i almost LEFT these guys to go chase dinraal!!!

ok ok gotta hurry

so, this bike doesn't control as well as i';'d like...maybe i need practice...and of course i wish it was faster...but it's still REALLY cool

my battery keeps dying/my bike keeps falling :( i give up

ugh i have so much anxiety about dragon parts.

VAH RUDANIA HELM??????? HELLOOOOOO

oh my god...i didnt even have this in botw, i dont have the amiibo card....................

aw i found some monster forces guys. of COURSE im gonna help them

OH we still get the bell after monster forces battles...good

NO FUCK AND THEY JUST LEFT. AND THERE'S ABOUT TO BE A BLOOD MOON LOL

i didnt get all my loot yet!! no one to help me when they come back!! im gonna die!!!

im not leaving w/o my Loot. i'll just have to do it on my own. thank god i have muddlebuds

GEEZ i did it. double loot

i can see the edge of the map! that sort of thing always did fascinate me...some of the textures are warped here lol that's creepy

ok, i looked it up and apparently i made my hoverbike wrong. im gonna try again w proper instruction!!

ok, new bike got me up to the top of gut check rock...it still has too much forward momentum for me, but i've seen a couple of different designs i wanna experiment with when i have more fans (currently only have 2 left in inventory)

i miss the goron blood brothers :( i mean it's so depressing that there's nothing up here but a korok seed...

ANOTHER EVENTIDE SHRINE. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS i hate this bs!!!

ok fine that wasnt that bad. STILL

bike is LOTS harder to control with a korok on the back. i like of like the counterweight though to help with too much momentum...

the bike lists to one side! i definitely just need to improve my fan placement

woke up the horse god. JUST as unsettling as i remember.

omg the yiga hideouts REFILL after long enough. rip!

decided to fight the pirates while i was here. "monster forces"...hope i'm not supposed to be teaming up with anyone for this lol

i accidentally hit my bike during combat and it went over the side of the boat 😭 i can make another and i was gonna fast travel after this anyway but STILL......

AUGH it's dinraal again and once again i can't chase her...i know how to do the bike now but i don't have it and also i'm busy!!!!! ugh

248 korok seeds!! officially time for bed - when i started today i was somewhere in the mid 100s lol

i thought i wouldn't play enough tonight to need to make multiple posts but i guess i should have broken this one up, huh? whoops!