#I just… I like Matching Things. I like mentally collecting Stuff That Makes Me Think Of Them | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kamiversee · 11 months ago

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➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 22 || The Anime References

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, smut, & a teeny-weeny drop of angst.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 5.9k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——GOJO SATORU WAS ALMOST TOO stunned to speak. He knows he just gave you his consent to do whatever you want but he was not mentally prepared for you to request such a thing.

Since when were you into that kinda stuff? Have you always been? Why do you even want to tie him up? So many questions run through his mind after your words hit his ears.

Nonetheless, his answer is a quick, "Sure." Then, he swallows down a deep sum of air to collect himself, "But uh... can I ask why you want to tie me up?"

You smile and lean away from his face, moving your hands over his arms and slowly pulling them off your body, "Cause' I know how much you like touching me." You explain.

Gojo smirks slightly, "So then, is this your form of punishment or somethin'?"

His arms are drawn off of you completely before you move them over his head again, crossing his wrists over one another and holding them there. "Yeah," You whisper, kissing him on the cheek, "After all, you said I could use you."

Gojo chuckles, "R-Right..."

With a smile, you lift yourself from sitting on him and carefully get off the bed. You didn't have the whole thing planned out or anything and you were just going to go with the flow based on how you felt. Gojo stayed put, arms up over his head, watching you walk around your dim room in search of something.

After a couple of minutes, you find a strip of abandoned ribbon that'd come off of one of your dresses some time ago. It was long enough to wrap around his wrists and you already knew he wasn't going to try breaking out of it so it's not like you needed something extremely strong.

The silky fabric of the ribbon was bright baby blue, the color ironically matching Gojo. You chuckle at the irony as you head back over to him and move to straddle his body once more.

Gojo watches with wide eyes as you hold yourself up and tie his wrists together above his head. You decide to knot the ribbon into a pretty little bow, smiling at the cuteness of it despite what you plan on doing.

"Pretty color," Gojo comments quietly.

"It's not too tight, is it?" You question just in case.

He tries to part his wrists from one another and then shakes his head, "Nope, it's perfect." He then looks up into your eyes, "But y'know... we should establish a safe word just in case."

You blink, almost embarrassed that you didn't think of that after being the one to suggest this entire thing. "Right uhm... well, you're the one tied up so..."

Gojo glances off to the side to think, taking only a few seconds before he shrugs, "Red."

You gradually ease yourself down from standing on your knees to sit on his lap again, "Red?"

"Mhm..." Gojo hums.

"So if I get too rough or..." Your voice softens, "If you grow uncomfortable..."

"I'll say red."

A sigh is let out from you as you shut your eyes and begin to worry, "Are you sure you're okay with this-"

"Sweetheart, what part of my body is nothing more than a tool for you, did you not understand?" Gojo cuts off, the look in his eyes serious.

You understood it perfectly well but, you were hesitant since using someone isn't exactly something you're fond of-- after all, you're not him. With a sigh, you give him a nod and ease yourself back into your mindset.

A little more small talk occurs as you make sure he's not uncomfortable, having never done this kind of thing before and wanting to be safe. It's only his wrists tied up but you can't help but feel anxious anyways.

Gojo assures you with gentle whispers, telling you over and over that you can use him as you see fit and he tries his best to talk you through all of your worried questions.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

When you finally grow comfortable with the situation again, your lips are right back on his.

It's a heated kiss this time and Gojo quickly regrets allowing you to tie him up. There was so much precum leaking from his cock that he could feel the slight mess he was of himself within his boxers. He didn't expect to get this turned on by being restricted but he was.

Each time you pulled away from his lips to breathe, Gojo would chase after you desperately, never wanting the kiss to end. He's so clearly not used to being the one with no control so it takes him some time to get used to it.

It's cute how he pushes himself forward to meet your lips once more, how he lets out quiet whines every time you kiss him passionately or aggressively, and so very sexy how he'll groan into your mouth every time you roll your hips and grind against his cock.

His head tilts in the opposite direction of yours, teeth moving to tug on your lower lip in an attempt of keeping you close to him. You end up prying away from his mouth anyway, another messy string of saliva keeping the two of you connected.

Your hands slide down the man's body while the two of you pant for lost air and you soon grab ahold of the bottom of his t-shirt, quickly working the item up and over his head. It's discarded before you start touching his abs and feeling him tense up beneath you.

Your lips make contact with his neck and Gojo groans again, "Fuck," He breathes.

You begin to suck on the area just under his jaw and watch the way he squirms beneath you, his movement making you grin.

"S-Shit." Gojo chokes out, "Not there-, agh..."

You pull away slightly, "Hm? Why?"

He's glad you aren't looking at his face right now because it's bright red, embarrassment overwhelming him before he utters out the words, "T-That's..." Gojo's voice gets smaller, "Where I'm weak-"

You cut him off by sucking on the area he's referring to, hearing the way he moans softly and feeling how his cock twitches beneath you.

"G-God-," Gojo choked, tipping his head further back and allowing you more space to kiss him, despite being overly sensitive.

Your mouth works to leave a dark mark on the male's pale skin, sliding down to kiss and nibble on other parts of his neck before you consider yourself satisfied.

When your head pulls away from his neck, you move to take the sweater he gave you off. Gojo's eyes widen as he sees your body for the first time after so long, quickly noticing faint love marks and bitemarks in various places.

Choso had quite literally left his mark on you after the multiple times you slept with him, hickeys decorating different parts of your torso. Hell, there's even a bite mark on your shoulder that Gojo notices.

Clearly, you'd slept with Choso more times than you told Gojo you did. That fact quickly makes the man beneath you so very jealous. He doesn't even care if he shouldn't feel that way-- seeing visual evidence of you with someone else makes his heart hurt.

As if he wasn't the one who forced you to do so anyway...

You grin at how Gojo's eyes go from one mark to another, happy to show evidence of you receiving pleasure from someone who isn't him. And what makes it better is that he knows it's Choso who left these marks on you, having been aware that you never let anyone else leave anything on you.

Even so, the marks on your body are in the act of fading away since it's been some time since you've been with Choso.

"Gojo," You whisper, earning a glance from the male.

"H-Hm?" He hums. His face was so flushed and his entire body felt like it was on fire, "Yes ma'am?" He utters in response.

Even his voice was affected by all the kissing and taunting, now having a raspy little pitch to it.

"You said you missed me, right?" You ask as you move your hands behind your back and unclip your bra.

Gojo doesn't miss the way you sensually take the item off, allowing your breasts to spill out in front of him. The sight only makes his dick throb violently beneath you.

"Mhm," Gojo ends up humming in response to you.

You tilt your head before lifting yourself up a little, your hand moving down to his sweats, "Tell me what you missed about me."

His eyes widen and he opens his mouth to do so, words falling off his tongue immediately when your hand touches his bulge. "Hah... A-Alright," Gojo breathes out.

Your eyes are on him while you soon work his bottoms off. Gojo struggles to begin when your hand goes into his boxers and you work his cock out, length slapping against his abdomen. You can't help but smile at the sight of his wet member, eyeing the precum oozing out of his tip and slipping down along his shaft.

Saliva builds up in your mouth as you stare, pulse after pulse felt from in between your legs.

"I-I uhm..." Gojo inhales sharply, "Fuck, where do I even start?" He chuckles wearily.

Your eyes are glued down to his dick, bottom lip getting caught in between your teeth as you move only your index finger to roll around his tip. "Wherever you want," You reply.

Gojo tries lifting his hips into your touch, "Shit, okay... I missed your face," He begins, swallowing down any sounds of his that threaten to pour out. "Y-Your voice... Hah, I really missed your voice..." He emphasizes.

"Awwh... go on..." You taunt, moving to toy with his erection by giving him only one gentle stroke.

"Mmgh... U-Uh, your-" You suddenly spit down onto his tip, causing Gojo to straight up whine. "A-Ah... your mouth, fucking hell..." He groaned throughout his little noise.

Your body is seated slightly on his thighs as you begin to torture him by slowly jerking him off. "My mouth?" You echo.

"Mhm," He whines again, "M-Missed feelin' you too."

"Yeah?" You say cooingly.

Gojo feels the way your hand squeezes his tip and he can't help the moan that leaves him, "O-Oh fuuuck." He shuts his eyes and tries lifting his hips into your hold.

You smirk, "You're weak here too, huh?" Your words were said to mock his earlier statement, clearly making him worse beneath you.

"Only when you touch me t-there..." Gojo almost whimpers, "I'm only w-weak for you..."

You rotate your palm around his tip while stroking his length, feeling yourself soak at the state you've reduced this man to. "Really? What's so special about me?" You whisper.

"E-Everything," Gojo choked, his jaw dropping in reaction to your hand movements, "Fuckin' everything, I swear..."

"Mmh..." You hum lightly.

Your hand gives him one last pull before you remove it from his cock, causing Gojo to tip his head back and pant. You move to simply pull your panties to the side, now feeling so needy for friction.

The man beneath you almost cums when you simply hover over him, maneuvering his cock to rub in between your wet folds.

"F-Fuck," Gojo curses, "P-Put it in... Please, fuck I c-can't take this..." He begs desperately.

You smile and ignore him, just barely pressing yourself down and not even allowing his tip to enter you. Instead, you drag him against your sex over and over, the sensation dizzying you with arousal as his needy tip slips over your clit.

"Hah... What?" You ask as if you didn't hear him the first time.

"Please put it in," Gojo whined, "Needa' be inside you s'fucking b-bad..." He slurs out, his eyes watering.

His expression is so desperate for you, the sight only adding to how wet you are. You continue your teasing anyway, rolling your hips in a circle around his tip, "Beg a little more and maybe I'll put in."

"Ha-ah... S'that what you want?" Gojo scoffs heavily, "W-Want me to fuckin' beg?"

Technically, he already was begging but you thrived off hearing him like this.

"C'mon... a-at least the tip?" Gojo pleads, "Please?"

You clench around nothing due to the sound of his voice. "One more time f'me." You utter.

"P-Please." Gojo moans, "Pleease, fuck..." His eyes are so teary and he's simply hazed with lust and desperation, "Please-, a-ahh... please let me be inside y-you." He whimpers.

You quickly folded under the sound of his begging. Gojo has never been so whiny and needy like this for you before so you found yourself a complete mess in between your legs, liquids from your arousal dripping down onto his cock.

"You're not gonna cum inside me as soon as I put it in, are you?" You ask him, tilting your head.

He knows he wants to and it'll be difficult not to do such a thing when he's already leaking like crazy. "M-Mhm..." He hums.

You start to lower yourself, allowing his tip to just barely push into you, "Words." You order.

He smiles, just barely, "...N-No promises," Gojo sighs, "Aagh... feels l-like I'm gonna cum right now..."

You frown, "C'mon now, don't disappoint me..."

"I'll h-hold it..." He breathes, "Just... please, just fuck me."

Your eyes skim over his flushed expression, seeing how his chest rises and falls rapidly due to his heavy breathing. His teary blue eyes are stuck on your face, refusing to look down at your actions.

"You're so cute like this, y'know..." You sigh, trying not to moan while you finally sink a mere inch down onto him.

"Mmmh... A-Am I?" He hums.

You nod, your gaze diving back down to your actions as you see how much of his cock you have left to sit yourself down on. You'd forgotten how lengthy the male is, swallowing nervously while you look at the sight below.

You're worried you may not be able to keep up this dominant act of yours. You continue anyway, sliding down inch by inch until you get about halfway. Gojo's eyes flicker and his lips remain parted.

You look him dead in the eyes and purposefully clench around his length, watching the way he literally chokes on air.

"Oh c-c'monn... y-you can't expect me not to cum when you..." His jaw drops and a heavy breath leaves his throat, "f-fuckin' squeeze around me like that..."

An innocent smile graces your face, "If you cum without my permission, I'm only gonna make things worse for you."

"I w-won't." Gojo says, "You're jus' makin' it hard for me not to."

You chuckle slightly at him in response before adjusting yourself. Leaning back, you move both of your hands behind you to hold your body up and then sit yourself all the way down on his dick. Gojo moans all too loudly in relief, the sound filling the air of your room.

One of your hands flies back in front of you as you place your hand over his mouth. "You're so noisy," You point out, your voice coming out softer than you would've liked. "Be quieter f'me..."

Gojo shakes his head, knowing won't be able to. "Can't," He just barely mumbles out beneath your skin.

You feel him whine against your hand, his breath warm against you. "Yes you cannn." You whisper encouragingly, "C'mon Gojo..."

He shakes his head for a second time and closes his eyes, pressing his lips into your hand and kissing you. "C-Can you call me Satoru? P-Please," He begs desperately.

You sigh, "Promise not to be too loud 'nd maybe I will."

Gojo suddenly licks your hand and just barely opens his eyes, his pretty eyelashes moist with the way he was on the verge of pleasureful tears. "I promise," He breathes out, his lips moving against your palm, "P-Promise not to be loud..."

You retreat your hand from his mouth, "Alright then..."

Your arm moves behind you once more, leaning yourself back before you roll your hips forward and feel the way his cock twitches inside you. This is the type of sex you expected to have last night-- the type of sex you needed.

You pick up a steady rhythm of grinding over Gojo with the tip of his dick nice and snug up against your cervix without him having to do much. The male grits his teeth and his eyes flicker as you begin to ride him slowly. He tries to keep his gaze on your face, watching the way your lips part and you moan ever so slightly.

Your bottom lip is pulled into your mouth as you struggle a little to keep your noises in. Feeling his cockhead knock around your insides, sliding against your walls in all the right ways is only dizzying you with pleasure.

Gojo was able to keep himself from looking at the entire lewd sight in front of him up until he saw your arm move in his peripherals. His eyes mistakenly drop down to the movement and he watches as you move two fingers over your clit, his breath hitching at the sight.

He wishes he could've done that for you instead but given the restraints, all he can do is watch you satisfy yourself and feel the way your wam cunt clenches around his girth. "Fuck," He curses under his breath.

Your hips suddenly lift a little and then ease back down, giving both of you more pleasure than expected. You moan a bit more than you expected yourself to and Gojo... he almost blew his load.

His head rests against the headboard and his eyes roll back, "W-Warn me next time b-before you-," His words are cut off as you ignore him and simply repeat your action, lifting yourself up and easing right back down. Gojo whimpers again, as quietly as he possibly can, "M'gonna c-cum..."

You lean forward and pull yourself almost all the way up, only his tip left inside you, and then drop yourself right back down. "N-Not yet," You stammer out to him.

Nothing you prepare him for the struggle he begins to face as you start bouncing on his cock. Every time he feels your soaked walls slide back down on his cock, he swears he's another second close to spilling his seed inside you. And of course, you make it worse by moving to messily kiss his exposed neck.

Gojo's arms twitch within the restraints, wanting nothing more than to move you away from his neck for just a second. "Fu-uck... p-please..." He begs, not even knowing what exactly what he's begging for.

You continue your movements, using your muscles to ride his cock and please yourself. Your breath is warm against his neck as you eagerly rub two fingers over your clit, "Mmgh... f-fuck... please what, Satoru?" You moan softly.

The aggressive twitching of his cock is felt as you question him. Gojo lets out another whine, the sound going straight to your core. "L-Let me c-cum..." He moans, sudden tears rolling down his cheeks.

No one has ever made him feel like this before. He's not sure if it was the restraints, the way you kisses, nibbled, and sucked on his neck, the way you rode his dick or the way you said his name but, Gojo was losing his mind trying not to release.

You move to that sensitive spot right under his jaw and suck at his skin before speaking against it, "...Lemme hear you b-beg again," You stammer slightly. It was difficult for you to speak one hundred percent properly with how deep inside you his cock reached.

"H-Hhnngh.... P-Please..." Gojo croaks out, "Please let me cum... c-can't hold it anymore... please... I-I'll do anything, fuuuuck... please."

You moan against his neck as his words go straight to your pussy, causing you to only clench around him even more. "A-Anything?" You smile slightly.

Gojo sucks in a deep breath, the sound close to a sniffle, "Yes. Any-, ngh... t-thing..." He sighs.

You move to his ear, "Delete the video of me."

He shakes his head, "I already d-did..." Gojo finally tells you.

That information makes your cunt throb for some reason as if the sound of freedom from that stupid list turned you on. "L-Liar," You huff out, not yet fully believing him.

"M'not lying..." Gojo suddenly sniffles, tears of struggling pleasure rolling down his cheeks, "D-Deleted it a long-, ah... t-time ago...."

You lean away from his ear and slow your pace a little, staring into his teary eyes. "Mmgh... really?"

He nods, "Mhm..."

Your arms wrap around his neck and you near his lips while humping him slowly, the pleasure making your eyes flicker. He wasn't the only one who was close. "So... hah, are you finally l-letting me go?" You whisper.

One of your hands slides up into his hair, feeling his white strands in between your fingers. Gojo shakes his head, "C-Could never let you go, sweetheart." He claims, not exactly referring to the list anymore.

You swallow and furrow your brows, your gaze traveling between his left and right eyes in search of an explanation, "Fuck... What do you mean?"

He pants, letting the desperation for his release and his emotions get the absolute best of him. Gojo unintentionally peers up into your eyes longingly, choking out something all too emotional, "I love you too much to do that..." He cries out, the look in his eyes completely serious and vulnerable.

Your jaw drops and your hips stutter in movement, "W-What?"

"I love you," Gojo repeats, swallowing afterward, "L-Love you s'much..."

"Satoru..." You flash him a confused look, "Y-You don't mean th-that..."

He nods his head, his eyes struggling to remain on yours, "I do. I s-swear, m'so in love with you-, fuck..."

You breathe out a heavy pant, trying to wrap your head around his sudden confession. There is absolutely no way your blackmailer is in love with you. Surely he's just saying this because he... maybe he's confused? He can't love you, it doesn't make sense.

Gojo leans forward and kisses you, breaking you away from your panicked thoughts, "C-Can I... ha-ah, nngh... Can I..." He trails off, struggling to voice his request.

You know what he wants anyway so you simply nod, permitting him to finally release. Gojo's eyes roll all the way back as he finally cums inside you with an unintentionally loud groan.

You're still stunned by his confession, a mixture of confusion and arousal fighting within your mind. Part of you is too into the moment to really process what he said but the other part of you was just left in disbelief.

Something inside you feels all mushy and you unconsciously voice out a soft, "Can you say it again?"

You can still feel him releasing into you, painting your insides white with his seed while you continue. "I-I love you," Gojo stammers, his eyes slowly going back into place.

"Mmgh... Y-Yeah?" You smile for some reason and reach your orgasm unexpectedly.

There's a mess where the two of you are connected but you don't care. Not only is Gojo still hard after his release, but you have no desire to move away from him.

After one last look of longing, the two of your lips connect. You both moan into each other's mouth as you press your body flush against his. The rapid beating of both your hearts can be felt against your chest and his.

Soft smacks, mixed with moans and whines slip into the sex-induced air. Gojo's arms continue to twitch as you make out with him, feining for the feeling of your skin against his fingertips. He wants to run his hands along your waist, your hips, hell, he even longs to roll his thumb over your clit.

So badly does Gojo want to please you even more.

You drag your lips away from his, leaving only a little bit of space between you and him, "S-Satoru," You call out, your gaze hazy, "T-Tell me you didn't mean that."

He smirks tiredly, "I can't."

You shake your head in disapproval, "You can't love me."

"Why not?" He sighs. "Hm?"

You peck his lips again, "Cause' I hate you..."

He chuckles against you while you part your lips over his. Your tongue enters his mouth and he accepts it happily, his cum-covered cock nestling inside your warmth.

"No..." He speaks between kisses, "You don't."

You groan into his mouth and he tries not to smile against you, "I do."

"Liar," He argues.

Your lips disconnect and you frown, "You know I do."

"Then," Gojo swallows, "Why do you kiss me like that?"

"You're a good kisser." You reply.

He raises a brow, "Why'd you fuck me like that?"

"You make me feel good, sometimes."

"Alright," He scoffs, "Last one; why... why are you looking at me like that?"

"Satoru, you literally just told me you love me. How the hell am I supposed to look at you?" You utter in disbelief.

He shakes his head, "Definitely not like that."

"And what is that, exactly?"

He grins, "Like you feel the same-"

"In your dreams." You cut off.

"Sweetheart... it's okay to love me too y'know."

"Fuck you." You fire at him.

"You jus' did."

You release a groan, annoyed by his claims now that he's returning to his normal state. "And I'm gonna do it again if you don't shut up." You threaten.

"Oh, I'm definitely not shutting up now." He flashes a charming yet fucked out smile, "Fuck me again please."

Your cunt squeezes around him, "...No."

"Mmgh... Or you can keep doin' that." He shrugs, "I like the way you keep my dick warm."

"You talk too much y'know."

"Shut me up then," Gojo challenges.

With a roll of your eyes, you move a hand to the side of his face, your thumb sliding to his lip, "Open," You order.

Almost like a well-trained dog, Gojo obediently parts his lips for you. With a smile, you slide your thumb into his mouth, "Now," You lean closer to him, "Be a good boy and keep quiet, okay?"

Gojo chokes around your finger and he blinks, his cock twitching within you.

The feeling makes you smile, "You're into that too? Shit... how many kinks do you have...?"

He sucks on your thumb eagerly, his eyes low but directly on yours. The man shrugs as if to answer you and you chuckle.

Slowly, you pull your finger out of his mouth and switch to replace it with your middle and ring finer. Gojo raises his brows, wondering what you have planned inside that head of yours.

After a few gentle thrusts of your fingers into his mouth and slips along his tongue, you draw them out with a loud pop leaving him.

Your torso then leans back again and Gojo gets a full view of your body, watching as you take your fingers that are covered in his saliva, and slip them down to rub slow circles around your clit. He lets out a deep hum while watching.

"That's so sexy. Fuuck..." Gojo voices out.

You smile before rolling your head back and moaning softly, "Aah.. is it?"

The male bites his lip and suddenly grinds his hips up into you, catching you by surprise as his cock presses against your insides. "So fuckin' sexy." He utters.

He then looks down at how he looks inside you, wanting to press against the bulge his dick creates against your skin so badly. A whine leaves those pretty lips of yours and Gojo smiles.

"Look who's being loud now?" He taunts.

"Shut up." You reply.

He chuckles, "Whyy? Teasing you is funnn."

"I'm s-supposed to be the one teasing you." You stammer suddenly as he works up a little pace below you, trying to match his slight thrusts to the movement of your fingers.

"You still can... But c'mon, you gotta let me tease you at least a little bit." He says, flashing a cheeky little smile.

"No, I don't."

His expression sinks into a pout, "But you like when I tease you."

"I do not..." You deny.

"Yeahh you do."

"You're so annoying."

"Am I?" Gojo tilts his head and narrows his eyes, his sights set on the way your folds spread around his member, "Even when my cock is stuffed inside you, I'm still annoying?"

Your breathing stutters, "G-God, shut up..."

"Nah, I don't think I will." Gojo hums, softly rutting his hips up into your sopping hole. "You should see the way you creamed around me."

"That was you... n-not me."

"No, sweetheart." He smiles, "That's you."

"It's not-"

"Listen to it." Gojo interrupts.

You blink, "W-What?"

Gojo's hips continue to steadily fuck up into your cunt, the sloppy wet sounds hitting your ears. "Hear that?" He taunts, grunting slightly, "Hear how messy you are f'me?"

You bite down on your bottom lip hard, "Shut up-," The tip of his cock rams into this dizzying spot inside you, making you choke, "F-Fuck..."

"Y'know if you untie me... I'd be able to fuck you properly." Gojo suggests.

"No..." You tell him.

He groans frustratedly, deciding to just quietly watch you work to get yourself off for a second time. His hips continue the steady push upward, constantly giving you friction and making you feel good, even if only a little bit.

After a few seconds, your head rolls back into place and you notice the way his rose-tinted lips are parted and his eyes are downward. With a swallow, you try to go back to what he said earlier, "Satoru..." You call softly.

"Hm?" He hums, his eyes remaining down.

"Did you mean i-it?"

"Mean what?" He sighs.

You rub over your clit a bit faster and he tries to match your pace as best as he can, "...Are you really... mgh, in love with me?"

He tips his head back and smiles, "Terribly so, yes."

"Hah... and, I don't have to finish the list right?" You ask.

He freezes. Gojo almost forgot that he told you he deleted the video of you, quickly regretting admitting that to you. "U-Uhm..."

You frown at his hesitance, "Satoru, please?" You whine.

He grits his teeth and looks away from you, "I... You still have t-to finish it..."

You're not sure what you expected and you don't even want to ask why-- already having an idea of what his next form of blackmail would be. After all, you did fuck a professor and for a man who wasn't scared to go to jail, you're sure he's not scared to expose that information.

So, you simply shake your head in disbelief before lifting yourself. For a second, Gojo thought you were about to hop off him but you catch him off guard by plopping all your weight back down.

"H-Holy-," His eyes go wide, "F-Fuck, sweetheart... m'sensative-," He whines.

Your hand suddenly moves to his face and you force him to look at you as you ride him aggressively, "Good." You breathe out to him.

Gojo quickly falls back into that whiney state from earlier. "P-Please, wa-ait..." He chokes out.

You continue anyways, your eyes tear due to the pleasure and the situation, "I r-really fucking hate you, y'know that?"

He moans, "Th-Then... why're you still, aagh... fucking me?"

You scoff, "Cause' that's all you're good for." You utter meanly.

He sighs and the sound of your skin meeting his every time you sink down on him fills the room. The noises are wet and sloppy due to how hard the male came inside you and the entire thing is creamy where you're connected.

"Nnngh," Gojo moans, "I'm s-sorry..."

"You don't mean it," You fire back, trying your hardest not to moan along with him, "You.. mmh.. Y-You never do."

He let something slip abruptly, "W-Wish I c-could tell you everything, sweets..."

Your brows furrow at that.

Are you missing something here?

What else is there for him to tell you? He's blackmailing you into sleeping with people he owes favors to. What more is there to that story?

Too caught up in the act of pleasing yourself, you brush his comment off for now, deciding to come back to it when his cock isn't stuffed inside you.

With that, Gojo continues, "...I-I promise I'll..." He hesitates to finish. "I'll help y-you get with-, agh... I'll h-help you get with Choso." He suddenly promises to you.

Your movement stutters at the mere mention of your crush, a moan pouring from your lips. "Mmgh, really?" It's not the best promise in the world and you'd much rather he just drop the list but-- you suppose it makes up for something.

He nods his head, "Yes... I swear..." Gojo says urgently, "I-I'll make sure he never finds out about the list and..." Your cunt tightens around him suddenly, "Oh f-fuck... I'll uh... m-make sure you guys get t-together." He finally gets out.

Your eyes narrow and your orgasm grows near, "You swear?"

"S-Swear it on my love for you-," Gojo claims. If only you knew how deep that affection really went, "Swear on my life." He whispers.

You grit your teeth and sigh out a heavy, "Okay."

It's not perfect but, for now, you suppose that's a decent enough promise to encourage you to finish the list. Though, you were never truly worried about Choso finding out about the list so it was kind of odd that Gojo mentioned it in the first place.

That, and once you finish the list, you already know Choso's going to accept you into his arms-- you wouldn't need help with that. But, something about Gojo's promise felt needed. It felt like something you had to accept or else things would get worse.

You are unsure of what this underlying emotion it was that you were feeling but there was just something about his promise. It felt different than his last one, it felt more severe.

This severity that you felt was something that you'd figure out much later but as of now; you wrapped your arms around Gojo's neck and continued your acts until both of you came undone for a second time.

Whatever it was you felt about that promise of his; it was important.

GOJO SATORU ✔︎

GETO SUGURU ✔︎

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎

KAMO CHOSO ✔︎

ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎

NANAMI KENTO ☐

??? SUKUNA ☐

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

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grimreaperschild · 2 years ago

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bones 2

summary: the group starts to adjust to life, you run into a familiar face on a supply run.

warnings: violence, gore, language if i’ve missed anything lmk

a/n: pls im kinda falling in love w this series 😭 but im exited for what’s to come, hope you guys like the new addition to the group ;) happy reading-🦷

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the first few seconds of waking up are always so blissful, your head tucked into the crook of tara’s neck nuzzling yourself impossibly closer as she raked her hands up your back lovingly, but as soon as you blink the sleep out of your eyes the weight of the say settles itself on your shoulders, digging it’s claws in like some oversized evil bird “good morning sleepyhead” tara’s lips press to the shell of your ear and you snuggle closer, she giggles “you slept in a little today baby everyone’s already awake” you stretch “well everyone’s gonna have to wait for me to brush my teeth” you shuffle around and throw some marvel pj pants on to match your spider-man t when you open the door to your and tara’s room your met with ethan fist raised, he jumped back at the sight of you and opened his mouth to talk you hold your finger up “im brushing my teeth first” he follows you like a lost puppy to the bathroom tara appearing beside you shoving a toothbrush in her mouth and promptly disappearing again.

as soon as your spit hits the basin ethan voice reaches your ears “so i was thinking and there has to be others hauled up in houses i mean if we survived so should other people” you turned the tap, no water great. things are going just great. you push past ethan and into the kitchen in search of your girlfriend she’s stood with sam and mindy, you pick up a pan and spoon and knock them together a couple times “family meeting everyone to there seats” you call thorough the house chuckling as you watch everyone scurry to the living room, it’s been a couple days since the outbreak, a couple days since quin. yesterday you and sam had taken the boards down from her room and thrown her body out the window and you’d all spent the rest of the day cleaning the carpet and making her room as nice as possible, you’d closed the door and boarded it up again out of respect.

you stand in the middle of the room, the coffee table having long been pushed out of the way the only person your missing was anika and you eye the stairs through the door you mentally count to 5 smiling as she rushes down the stairs right on cue “sorry im late sorry guys im here, here” she holds her hands up stepping between people to claim her spot bedside mindy “the waters out sooner than we thought” a collective groan could be heard from the group and you held a hand up to silence them “yes i know, not ideal but we planned for this remember? me chad and sam go scout outside see what it’s like” “im still mad i pulled the short straw if we were measuring dick sizes i wouldn’t have to go out there” “that’s only because me and y/n don’t have dicks, bird brain” you snort and cover your mouth pretending to cough when chad shoots daggers your way “i guess i can’t put this off any longer anyone have any weapon ideas? i atleast wanna be iconic” tara gives you an unimpressed look but you continue on anyway “i was thinking we could hit up the wilderness shop down the way they have guns and stuff good place to loot” sam nods her head “yeah and for the way there i’ve got some climbing gear like picks and stuff” you cock your head to the side “how do i literally live with you and not know we both climb?” her head shoots up “your my sister in law and i don’t know you climb?” excitement lacing her tone “whoa hold your horses im not your sister in law yet” tara gives you another unamused look as sam goes to grab her gear “what do you wanna get married” anika pipes up “i can officiate, chad can be the flower girl” mindy laughs at the statement elbowing her brother in the side “why cant i be a flower girl” liv frowns “because your gonna be the ring bearer” “ethan’s definitely gonna be my best man” ethan’s head shoots up at your words a grin on his face “minds your my maid of honour and sam you can walk me down the isle” “deal” sam agrees having only heard the last end of the conversation.

you grab 2 picks from sam and throw one to chad “let me get out of my pjs and we can go” the light atmosphere turns thick the weight of what’s about to happen, you lean against the door and rest your hands on your knees in out, in, out everything’s ok it’s all gonna be ok you take a shaky breath standing tall, your ashamed to say you jump when you hear 3 soft knocks on the door tara’s head peers in “baby” she breathes and it’s unnaturally soft, it makes you crumble tears cascade down your cheeks “oh, baby” she takes you in her arms “i’ll be waiting for you right here when you get back” she rubs your back softly “when did i become leader” you choke out voice muffled by her neck “i cant do it, why do they all look to me, im not enough” you let yourself cry on her shoulder till there’s nothing left to cry tara whispering sweet nothings in your ear until you pull yourself away turning to get dressed.

when you walk back into the living room dressed in black cargos white t and a light brown knitted jumper tying your hair up in a ponytail chad and sam are waiting shoes already on, you flop onto the sofa as tara brings you your combat boots you tug them off tying the laces tight. “you guys ready?” you look at the faces of the people around you “as i’ll ever be” chad mutters sam nods solemnly in acknowledgement, you stand and make your way to the front door slowly “ethan, liv i want you on door duty, tara mindy i want you on watch” you strain as you move the dresser from the front door you step back and grab your pick as sam unbolts and swings the door open slowly surveying our surroundings “y/n” you turn at the sound of her voice and she presses a soft kiss to your lips your heart flutters at the action “come home, be safe” you allow chad and liv to have there moment before slinging your bag over your shoulders and taking the first steps out the door.

your hands are griping the pick so tight your knuckles are white as the 3 of you make your way down the street towards the hunting store, you’d never seen woodsbrough so deserted some bodys were laying on corners or in the street but you tried not to focus on them as you push on forward, you stifle a laugh as chad bumps into a lamppost while trying to look behind him “good job superman” he rubs his head and shoots you a glare “i don’t see you trying to watch our 6” sam bumps his shoulder “what is this? cod zombies? roger roger” you snort “that’s actually from starwars cod zombies kinda just screech like metal heads” you shudder at the thought “bookie” before anyone can call you a nerd for your starwars comment someone barrels into you knocking you to the floor, you let out a grunt as the person lands an elbow into your stomach effectively winding you “SHIT y/n, fuck i didn’t know it was you im so sorry” the girl stands quickly pulling you to your feet with her.

you stumble into the wall hands falling to your knees pick long forgotten as you suck air in threw your teeth winded for the second time this week it feels like there’s a running theme here. then you look up at your assailant and any air you’d managed to scrape into your lungs was knocked out of you again, amber. my amber, our amber. you blink up at her eyes wild, she was your and tara’s ex of a few months her parents had forced her hand as it “wasn’t normal” or whatever, your thoughts are interrupted as she throws herself into you “tara?” it’s a question you wrap your arms around her “safe, you hurt” you pull away quickly inspecting her “n-“ she’s cut off by chad letting out a yell, you see the brute before she does and you shove her aside diving for your pick in the road, he’s big. easily 6’4 and built he used to be in the biker gang but his leather jacket hangs off him in tatters sam swings her arm back and gets him right in the chest definitely breaking a few ribs by the sound of it she tries to pull her weapon out but it’s stuck he lets out a groan and swings her to the side following quickly as she tumbles to the floor, you make your move while he’s distracted hitting him in the back of the skull, he goes down but you don’t stop 1, 2, 3 hit after hit to his head, brains are smushed onto the pavement and your sprayed with blood as you feel hands on your waist pulling you back “he’s done he’s gone it’s ok” you breath again looking for sam thankfully she’s ok.

the 4 of you make it to the hunters shop with no further incidents sam opens the door for you nodding as you pass by her ok definitely not shaking the title of leader anytime soon better embrace it your eyes land on a hunting knife 7 inches long, Damascus steel with a leather bound hilt you pick it up and it fits your hand like it’s made for you, you smile as you clip it to your belt turning to the pistol rack to choose your gun, gotta pick something iconic you see a revolver not too dissimilar to the one rick in the walking dead has bingo. you silently thank your dad for the shooting lessons he gave you as a young teen clipping the holster to your belt you chuck all the guns and amo in your bag as you can then the gleam of metal catches your eye.

oh, now that, that is iconic overkill? sure but who’s gonna miss out on the chance to carry round a fucking sword you grin as you pick up the roman style sword “really?” you look up to see amber stood with a familiar glint of adoration in her eyes “you telling me i don’t look badass right now freeman?” you smirk as you situate the sword on your hip “im from the fucking roman times, unkillable if you will” she chuckles to herself “you dork” “yeah yeah whatever” she’s armed with a baseball bat and a shotgun good decision. you take a look at everyone, chad is playing with nunchucks and sam is stuffing knifes into her bag “it’s getting dark out, we need to head back ambs you coming with” you wince at the hopefulness in your voice “tar won’t want you out here alone” sam shoots you a knowing look and your eyes fall to the floor “yes. i’ve been in my house alone i was terrified” a pang of sympathy shoots threw you “your safe now, i promise” she holds out her pinky and you interlock it with yours “always?” “always”

oh fuck me. this is going to be the death of me.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter x yn #tara x reader x amber #amber freeman #amber freeman x reader #scream #zombie #zombie apocolypse au #amber x tara

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nipuni · 1 year ago

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im sure you get this question all the time but how do you go about procuring those amazing outfits? do you thrift, get things tailored, make items yourself? do you buy things as you go or do you search for specific items one at the time? it's just that id love to have a style like yours (but masc haha) and i always wonder how you do it because i wouldn't know where to get clothes such as you wear anywhere, let alone for a price i can afford. and also, now im here, thank you for your amazing art, it always brightens my day when you post <3

Hello! 🥰 I collect pieces from different places that I feel fit the aesthetic I created for myself, kind of like character design, and I stick to certain silhouettes and color palettes that I already know I will feel comfortable in.

In my case I go for structured pieces instead of flowy draping ones, plain colors over patterns unless it's straight lines, earth and jewel tones on the warmer and muted side, medium height heels, gold over silver, etc. All of this makes for safe purchases for me no matter the store or outfit

Most of my clothes I buy from the historical reproduction shops I list under my posts ( I made a list some time ago here and also in the tags of each post as well as in my Instagram )

Some of these shops are on the more expensive side but offer custom tailoring which is ideal and a must for me because I'm built weird 😅 so I try to get my staple pieces there and plan the whole outfit around it before purchasing.

Then you can get the basic pieces to complete the looks from regular stores! stuff like plain shirts and trousers I usually get from places like Zara

I also thrift at curated stores which makes it easier to find interesting pieces (Edwardian revival from the 70's, capes, belts, handkerchiefs, scarves, bags and hats are some of the things I go for) I don't go with an outfit plan in mind for this, I just look around every once in a while and see what I can find and what I can do with it since it's usually very cheap too. I've also found that thrifting for masc clothes is way easier (at least where I live?) for some reason. I go antique shopping for accessories too, hats and pins from the 20's!!

Then the more specific and inexpensive stuff to tie the outfits together I get from aliexpress, (like the clock bags) and for blouses I also shop at lolita stores online sometimes

When it comes to planning outfits I just play dress up in front of the mirror like you see in the videos I make, I pull out a bunch of stuff from my closet and start matching. it helps me see what I'm missing or what colors would work best or which cut or fit creates an interesting look. It also helps you see and remember everything you have so when you are shopping or dressing up to go out you have this mental library and know whether something new will fit in with your wardrobe or not.

I also got a sewing machine some time ago and I'm teaching myself to sew! So far I've only fixed mine and my husband's clothes to make them fit but I'd love to move on to making my own clothes eventually!

I think that cultivating a personal style makes shopping for clothes easier and allows you to invest in pieces you know you will keep without fear of them going out of style and you don't feel the pressure to update your whole wardrobe every year. it's also super fun and has helped me build confidence and feel a lot more at peace with my appearance. I hope any of this helps you 😭 I rambled a lot I'll stop now!! Thank you so much for the kind words!! ❤️❤️❤️

#nips replies #this is so long why am I this insufferable

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misc-obeyme · 10 months ago

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I see people talking about MC using the demons soap and it's really cute, if you don't have sensitive skin. The fandom seems to agree that all the demons safe for barbatos maybe, use scented soaps. I have sensitive skin so if I run out I'm using barbs. And if his makes me break out I'll make a mental note put my ointment on and try to tough it out.

Something tells me the R.A.D uniforms would make it worse. Like "barbatos, I'm itchy and my skin burns can you go buy me soap, and more of my ointment?..."

Or maybe "Diavolo I'm stealing your satin pajamas because they help me not want to rip my skin off" just ranting about skin struggles.

Bows for barb

Hmm well I don't know if I agree with the idea that they all use scented soaps, personally. I mean obviously Asmo probably has some, but I would say he probably has an entire collection of various things. Different fragrances, sure, but also just different types of soap. He might have one for sensitive skin, too.

But to be fair, if you were living in the castle there's no way Barbatos would let you run out of your own soap, especially if you have sensitive skin.

For some reason, I imagine Diavolo having just like... a standard manly soap, you know? I think most soaps have a sort of scent to them unless you go out of your way to buy unscented. So I see him having something that's like... mahogany and musk lol. He uses some kinda rose scented stuff on special occasions.

Barbatos seems like he'd be practical and have something standard, but I could see him using a nice cucumber melon. Or perhaps something like sea breeze... really subtle and light.

No matter what they use, though, I suspect Barbatos would go out of his way to make sure you're comfortable. And Diavolo would happily let you wear his satin pajamas. If you really like them, he'll probably get you a matching pair. (Though if his pajamas are extra large on you, he'll find that super adorable.)

#I never thought I'd be this interested in thinking about what kind of soap the characters use but here we are #I have thoughts about everybody lol #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #bows for barb anon #misc answers

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behsjdjenbrbebdbe · 29 days ago

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my character/movie-based playlists:

arthur fleck (joker, 2019): 60's music that i felt really encapsulated arthur and his mental state in the first film.

joker: folie à deux (2024): i actually really like this movie and idk why people hate it so much, so i made a playlist that i think harley and arthur would've listened to together if they had ended up living together

beautiful boy (2018): songs that i feel represent both Nic and his father. rlly tragic, sorry.

chandler bing (friends, 1994): playlist i made right after matthew perry died (r.i.p. to a legend). i think chandler would love these songs and some of these songs are canon.

the substance (2024): not the kind of playlist you're thinking about. It's basically just 80's music that i think would be played during an old episode of 'Sparkle Your Life!'. It's basically just a glorfied jazzercise playlist.

charlie kelmeckis(the perks of being a wallflower, 2012): my idea of what charlie would have on his mixtape. Some songs are canon from the movie and book.

dead poets society (1989): a collection of songs that i think really reflect the vibe of the film for me, not necessarily songs that would fit the time period.

donnie darko (2001): playlist that shows donnies declining mental state in the film.

mr.robot (2015): songs that i think elliot would enjoy but also describe his descent.

fight club (1999): songs for the narrator and how he feels during his 6 month bout of insomnia. this playlist is my personal favorite bcs i'm also an insomniac (twinning)

the bear (2022): songs that i think carmy would listen to while yelling "behind!" at his chefs.

you (2018): songs that describe joe goldberg from you, not necessarily stuff he would like (he's much too pretentious to enjoy olivia rodrigo).

pearl (2022): a playlist that reminds me of the monologue scene in pearl where she says "i don't feel...well" because i really felt that. once again, not necessarily songs that match the time period or the characters potential interests.

lady bird (2017): lady bird is one of those movies where i'm pretty sure the director was in my house monitoring my daily movements for inspiration. naturally, i needed to make a playlist that i think completely captures the feeling of growing up with a not-so-healthy relationship with your mother.

gone girl (2014): a playlist based on the "cool girl" monologue and how it feels to feel forced to play a caricature of a woman just to for a man.

gone girl (2014): this time it's a nick dunne inspired playlist because unfortunately i relate to him (more so, book version nick). take that info how you will.

miles morales (spider-man: into the spider-verse, 2018): best spider-man, idc. ~ él es el mejor spider-man, no me importa.

jughead jones (riverdale, 2017): songs that i think jughead would have loved.

american psycho (2000): a mix of songs that patrick bateman would listen to in his headphones on his way to work and songs that i think describe him.

the iron claw (2023): songs that represent the tragedy of the story of the von erich family but also the beautiful bond of the brothers. Once again, these are not all time period accurate.

black swan (2010): a playlist based on nina. lots of swan references in the titles.

taxi driver (1976): a mix of songs based on the time period, things that travis bickle would listen to while driving, and songs that encapsulate the movie.

nightcrawler (2014): songs that represent lou bloom, not necessarily songs he would listen to because i don't actually believe he would listen to music on his own.

peeta mellark (hunger games, 2012): ,ovies i think peeta would either enjoy, or capture his personality and plight throughout the movies.

may december (2023): i love this movie SO MUCH, so i ofc had to make a dedicated playlist. it's through the perspective of joe ofc.

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind (2004): playlist based on the rocky relationship between clementine and joel.

mother (2020): for those who don't know, this is a japanese film based on a true story about a toxic mother and her relationship to her son. so this playlist is based on the perspective of the son, shuhei.

clay jensen (13 reasons why, 2017): playlist that clay would listen to in between tapes.

prisoners (2013): unsettling and melancholy playlist inspired by this film and the perspective of detective loki, one of the main characters.

sam evans (glee, 2009): another one of my favorite playlists bcs i'm just so proud of it. like, absolutely sam would love this playlist. i included some glee versions of songs he sang, but only ones that i liked better than the original.

sound of metal (2019): songs that i feel express ruben's reaction to his deafness and his struggle to accept change.

troy bolton (high school musical, 2006): i absolutely LOVE this franchise and so i think i'm qualified to say that troy bolten would love himself some 2000's rnb. This is why i've taken upon the burden and pleasure of making him a playlist that he would jam out to.

scott pilgrim vs. the world (2010): songs inspired by sex bob-omb and the overall playful vibes of the movie.

good will hunting (1997): these are songs that i think will would include in his rotation or songs that represent the journey that will takes during the movie.

the hunt (2012): this was a very tragic movie about a man who suffers greatly based on a false accusation. one of my worst fears is not being believed when i haven't done anything. truly there is nothing worse than injustice and with this selection of songs i tried to convey the dread, sadness, and overwhelming rage that the main character, lucas, felt when everyone he knew turned on him.

mother (2020): playlist based off the japanese drama movie i watched about the toxic relationship between mother and son. you'll probably relate to this playlist if you have mommy issues.

romeo & juliet (1996): songs that encapsulate the tragedy of their relationship. yes 'exit music (for a film)' by radiohead is involved.

the holdovers (2023): this is my actual family. lots of 60's and 70's music.

christopher moltisanti (the sopranos, 1999): one of my favorite characters from the show bcs he's unfortunately very relatable to me. mostly based on what he said in the first season, "it's like the regularness of life is too hard for me." I get that.

abigail armstrong (dance academy, 2009): based on a quote from season 1 where she said "you all want me to fail." Abigail has this need to be perfect and she feels like she's all alone, so i thought that I would turn those feelings into a playlist bcs i can relate.

tara and christian (dance academy, 2009): based off the tumultuous relationship between main characters, tara and christian. based off the quote from season 3 where tara says to christian "i just want so badly to be rid of you". even if you don't know the show, i hope you can enjoy the sad break up playlist of it all.

heres my letterboxd account btw (just in case you were curious about how i rated these films): https://boxd.it/3mh3D

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nohoperadio · 1 month ago

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There's a thing I can do when I'm lay in bed relaxed, it's not easy to describe. It starts in my head, it feels subjectively like waiting for some kind of energy to collect in there, which will only happen if I'm lay down on my back relaxed, still, breathing slowly, probably being sleepy is part of it. Then when the energy's built up I can choose to kind of activate it internally, which results in a big sparkly tingly feeling in the head, a smaller tingle through the whole length of my body, and an involuntary jerk of my head, legs, and maybe sometimes hips? The jerk lasts a fraction of a second, and feels very much like the reflexive kick you do when a doctor taps under your knee.

"Activating" this is completely voluntary and never happens without me doing it deliberately. It's hard to describe non-subjectively because it's hard to tell if I'm actually getting any head muscles involved vs it being a purely mental action. It feels kinda good although not like intensely good. I don't do it repetitively and I don't try to lean very deep into it because I guess I have a vague anxiety I might somehow trigger a seizure or something, although mostly I just never think about it at all.

If anyone knows or has an educated guess about what kind of thing this might be I'd be interested to hear.

---

After typing that and saving it as a draft I realized it basically matches the classic descriptions of ASMR, although I've never gotten anything remotely similar to what I'm talking about from listening to audio or video tagged as ASMR. But this for example from Wikipedia:

It has been described as "a static tingling sensation originating from the back of the head, then propagating to the neck, shoulder, arm, spine, and legs, which makes people feel relaxed and alert".

is a pretty close match I'd say. Wiki also mentions that some people ("less commonly") can do it intentionally without a stimulus so maybe I can only do it that way. I guess I imagined ASMR being more of a gentle buzzing feeling but that's probably based on the sleepy vibes of the ASMR videos and stuff I've seen? Hmmm!

#selfposting #uninteresting

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sweetmariihs2 · 1 month ago

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Title: a huge unnecessary ramble about Jessie's and Buzz' age inside the Toy Story universe AND in their respective in-universe shows (I'm not well)

(And a lot of theories/headcanons about the toys memories when they get out of the box, along with debates about personalities and stuff)

"How much a toy can be a character and how much they can be themselves depending on their life experiences?" - me in other post

I think it's funny (and a bit weird) how Jessie was made around 1959-1967 (during the period when Woody's Roundup was on TV) and Buzz was made around 1995 (his show Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command supposedly was also on TV, because Andy watched the show and liked the character, that's why he wanted the doll), making Jessie a lot older than Buzz, and therefore a little bit wiser/mature due to life experiences.

But the toys that are made based on characters tend often to have the same personality as these characters. There are debates around the "woke up having real memories and not thinking they're toys" thing, because not even the Woody's Roundup gang and none of the other characters except from toys from the Buzz Lightyear collection show that they thought they were real, and this maybe be just a manufacturing defect from the Buzz Lightyear toy collection, or maybe this now happens with the most modern/recent/electronic toys that have wires and reprogramming and all that... anyway, I'm not going deep into these theories right now.

The toys can already know that they're toys, but their personality still matches their characters. Buzz is heroic, kind, analytical, and Jessie is brave, adventurous, confident. Their personalities don't change much from the characters they were based on even after knowing the truth, and what makes two Buzz Lightyears different from eachother are their life experiences, each one having their own life, memories, opinions, and everything, after getting out of the box. Overall, maturity. But I wonder if the characters' "factory" maturity changes anything about this, I believe it does. If an adult character toy comes out of the box with the adult character's mentality, then this toy will be mature and will only become more mature as the years go by, living as a toy; since whether the toy likes it or not, it still has a lot to learn about how things work after leaving their box. In the same way that a child character would have the mentality of a child, and could be matured over time, like the Sunnyside baby, who still acts like a baby to this day, but can understand the world around and have opinions.

The Buzz Lightyear toys are made based on the characters from the Buzz Lightyear of Star Command cartoon (recently a retcon happened and Pixar said that this toyline was actually made based on Lightyear, but I can't take that seriously, since BLOSC had been canon since the year 2000, and the Buzz toy that Andy wanted looks nothing alike with the character from the movie Lightyear). Apparently, Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story remembers himself as the character from the show and looks like he had memories from the show too, somehow. Inside the show, Buzz' character is described, and knows himself, as a guy in his 40s (we know this based on the episode Tag Team and it's also written in his fandom wiki ), which shows that he's experienced in life as a Space Ranger and overall a "mature person" (not that much lmao). Furthermore, he is always shown and described as a seasoned veteran of Star Command while the other characters on his team are rookies. He had a lot of training, a lot of study, and seems more confident and responsible than his teammates, which is fitting for this age.

As for Jessie, we can't watch Woody's Roundup because it was never made into a real, watchable show. But when Toy Story 2 was released, Pixar hired the band "Riders In The Sky" to make an entire album themed around Woody's Roundup and eventually use these songs in the film, many of which were not used but work as bonus content. (By the way, in this album the band added a bonus song, which is a cover from the Buzz Lightyear Of Star Command theme song that was released around the same time, "To Infinity And Beyond", in Woody's Roundup style! I love creative people). In this album, Riders In The Sky made certain theme songs for Woody's Rounduo characters, and telling in-universe Woody's Roundup stories about them, including Jessie's character backstory! The song is called "Jessie The Yodeling Cowgirl" and a fem singer, who is playing Jessie, sings about how she left her home in Oklahoma to move to California to sing.

For me, this all sounds like a story that would happen to her while her character was still young, and Jessie in the Woody's Roundup universe does look quite young indeed. Leaving her homeland, apparently for the first time, to go pursue her dream, added to her appearance and naivety in the show, makes me think her character was not even in her 30's yet. Maybe she was 27? At most?

The average age for woman to get married in the 50s was around 20 years old. Based on that and at the time period, I highly doubt that a show aimed at children made in that highly conservative time would have a fem, strong and tomboy-ish (she wore pants!!!) — and to make matters worse, who is also single in her adulthood because at that time a 20 years old SINGLE woman was almost in her old age in people's eyes, — character as a co-protagonist. Meaning that: they made adult characters with child-like features to appeal to their young audience (because everybody knows that children love to admire adults and wish to grow up, but at the same time, playing and living adventures is a lot more attractive to them than paying taxes, so the creators of the show made adults that act like children which would be a perfect combo to sell well) OR their characters are just that young, young enough to be able to show these child-like features. Which means that Jessie is pretty capable of being like — in this context specifically — 20? To be a young and single lady at that time and still be accepted on TV? Maybe less? Or they're just from that kind of show where the creators never tell the characters ages, ever- like in Barbie Life In The Dreamhouse? I wouldn't be surprised if Jessie's character were a teenager, to be honest, but I prefer not to believe in that because I love Jessie x Buzz so much and their shipp is too cute and healthy for me to make them weird like this

I also find it interesting to note how (back in the 1900s) they made dolls that looked like children but wore adult clothes and little girls would play with them that way. Maybe Jessie is something similar, with an undefined age, because her character in the show is clearly not a child, however she has very child-like characteristics such as big head and big eyes, somewhat innocent behavior at times, adventurous, and someone who would care more about playing and having fun than romance, since the show is targeted at children. If the show were targeted at adults, her character would be extemely different and would probably be more limited in a romantic role because adults already care about that. If her character is indeed in her 20s and still was well accepted on TV... that means that Jessie was a feminist icon in the media from her time and in the Pixar universe??? Oh wow

But oh well, Woody's Roundup looks like a very innocent and soft show to watch, like those cute pre-school cartoons, Sofia The First for example, just so you can get the view, but with a bit of adventure (oh if you knew the amount of adventures that happened in Sofia The First...). Well, the way we make shows and cartoons changed a lot since the 50s and today younger children watch cartoons with more script and drama, but at that time some shows were just innocent and fun like that, with simple premises in each episode and that was enough even for older audiences; that's why I think Emily (Jessie's previous owner) watched a show that today would be classified as for pre-schoolers due to it's simplicity and cute lessons about friendship. I think I just let myself write stuff that came to my head and now I lost where I was at.

Going back to where I was at, I think Jessie's character is naturally very naive since the show, besides being brave and adventurous. Maybe the script, and the characters, and the whole story overall, made the Woody's Roundup characters come out of the boxes like this (despite probably not having memories from their show like Buzz Lightyear does, they still have the same personality as their characters), very naive, much how they already were in Woody's Roundup. I'm trying to voice ny thoughts here, wait

I came to this conclusion based on how the toys have their characters personalities at first and that is slowly changed and shapes them into unique beings overtime due to life experiences. Buzz Lightyear acted like Buzz from the cartoon even after learning that he was a toy, and that will never go away, but will be matured and more explored overtime, to a level that two 15 yo Buzz Lightyears from different places and owners would be really different from eachother. If one is traumatized, he will have to deal with that trauma, when other Buzz Lightyear didn't went through that and does not have to, like Jessie was traumatized by Emily and has claustrophobia, but other Jessies don't. I think that our Toy Story Jessie was like Jessie from the show, naive, when she was straight out of the box, and she learned to have more common sense, opinions and tastes, ability to distrust and read people/situations, much like humans learn with experiences. Which means that the Jessie we know today is probably very different to how she was like when she was new, and not only because of trauma.

Which also means that the "When She Loved Me" sequence happened when Jessie was much more unprepared, immature and optimistic, that subconsciously thinks that things will always turn out fine because in her show they always do (Buzz was like this, even after finding out he was a toy, he had an absurd sense of optimism, still inside the limits of his character, which is a hero from the cartoon he's in but still very cautious and analytical not to let things go wrong. In Woody's Roundup the characters don't have to be analytical, the script just works for them because it's a very light and simple show. You can take your conclusions from there...). Sorry for ruining your day

Anyway, the conclusion I wanted to get was that even though Jessie's character is younger than Buzz' and their behaviors/maturities follow their characters until a certain point, the fact that Jessie is a lot older than Buzz makes her more mature than him sometimes, which works as a good balance, I guess? Maybe I'm just overthinking. Gosh I wrote so many good (and messy) points here. I need to sleep

#toy story #toy story 2 #toy story 3 #buzz lightyear #woody pride #sheriff woody #jessie the yodeling cowgirl #jessie the cowgirl #disney #pixar #disney pixar #buzz lightyear of star command #blosc #woody's roundup

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password-door-lock · 3 months ago

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Mystictober Day 28-- Elegance

You can’t understand why Saeran insists on playing dress-up with you (950 words).

“What’s the point of this, again?” You ask, raising your arms nevertheless so that Saeran can put the shirt on you. It’s a very nice shirt, all things considered— which is why it’s beyond weird that Saeran is the one dressing you in it. He’s made it very clear to you that he doesn’t think you deserve nice things.

He scoffs. “Shut it, toy. I’m sick of telling you everything over and over again.”

“Okay, fair point,” you drawl. “Except that you haven’t explained this to me once, and also, most of the stuff that you tell me over and over again is not, like, stuff that I asked you to say. You can’t really hold it against me if you decide to be mean to me multiple times.”

This revelation does not seem to comfort him as he buttons the silk shirt. The perfect contrast to Saeran’s stiff, angular suit, your entire ensemble is loose and slouchy, though still constructed from fine fabrics. It’s clear that he wants you to look nice. It is not, however, clear why he would want that.

“Ugh,” Saeran makes a big show of sighing and looking out the window in response to your irrefutable logic. In his defense, it is very funny, which was probably his intent. Sometimes, when Saeran is ‘tormenting’ you, he forgets himself and makes you laugh out loud. “We’re meeting with the Savior, prince(ss),” he explains very slowly, “And I don’t want you looking like you crawled out from under a rotten log just to go see her.”

“That is very specific,” you point out, “Like, scary specific. Crawled out from under a rotten log?”

“That’s how you normally look.” But if that’s the case, then why did he install a camera in your room? You doubt that he would want to spend so much time staring at you if you really did look like you’d been living on the forest floor.

“Okay,” you’re not gonna argue with him. Besides, you have bigger things to worry about— Saeran might be in a bad mood, but the threat he poses is nothing compared to the one you’re going to face when you meet Rika. You’ve got to mentally prepare yourself to make sure you don’t say anything that will get you or Saeran hurt.

“So you admit it,” Saeran sings, “If you know you look disgusting, why do you keep on doing it? You’re just making my life harder on purpose, aren’t you? Such a handful, toy.”

“Why do you even care what I look like, anyway?” You’re a bit uncomfortable under Saeran’s scrutinizing gaze as he paces in circles around you, a predator surveying his prey. “I mean, why do you care if I look bad for the Savior? Aren’t you just going to get rid of me, anyway?” You’re annoyed with him, but that doesn’t stop you from worrying about him… or from wanting to make him laugh. Your relationship with Saeran is complicated, to say the least.

For a moment, Saeran stops in his tracks, and you think you’ve managed to fluster him beyond the point of answering you. But, of course, eventually, he does reply. “I don’t care what you look like,” he claims. “Ugh, stupid toy. Why would you even think that?”

“Because… we’ve been playing dress-up for three hours, and you’ve put me in five different colors of the same exact shirt?” You offer. “The black one is better, by the way. It matches with your jacket.”

Saeran stares at you for a moment, then puts the black shirt back in the closet. “Like I’d go along with an opinion from a toy like you,” he scoffs. You probably should have seen that one coming. “I just don’t want you to embarrass me in front of the Savior.”

“Sure,” you nod along, although of course, you have your own ideas about his motivations. Still, you’ve long since learned that arguing with Saeran is an uphill battle you are not prepared to fight.

“Now.” Saeran stops pacing and makes his way over to the vanity, where your jewelry collection resides. “Does gold or silver suit you better?”

The question is so abrupt and so out of character that it catches you off guard. “I’m sorry, what?”

Saeran offers you a wolfish smile, as though perhaps he had been looking for an opportunity to talk down to you, and you’ve now delivered it into his lap. He starts again, slower. “Does. Gold. Or. Silver. Suit. You. Better, prince(ss)?”

You shrug. “How would I know something like that? And isn’t it up to you, anyway?”

Saeran mutters something under his breath— you’re pretty sure the word ‘useless’ crops up in there a couple times— and resumes rifling through the jewelry box. Most of what you have came from Ray, and you’re pretty sure that it’ll all look okay on you. Saeran emerges triumphantly with a silver necklace similar to the one he wears. You can tell he’s having fun with this. Maybe all this time, he’s been fighting the urge to spoil you absolutely rotten. Maybe his feelings are just as complicated and confusing as your own.

“Put this on,” he orders, “I have to figure out what to do about that smell of yours, or else it won’t even matter what you look like. Don’t waste my time with any more questions.”

“Ray left me some perfumes,” you gesture in the general direction of the bathroom.

“Ugh, and you’ve been using them? No wonder you stink so much,” Saeran complains. “Go wash it off and then get dressed. I don’t have time for this.” You should have known his softness wasn’t going to last.

#mystic messenger #mm_mystictober2024 #mystic messenger drabble #choi saeran #saeran choi #fanfiction

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vacate-et-scire · 11 days ago

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Happy new years!!!! May this year treat you well! Hopefully I’m not late for the match up urhrhruhrh:( if it’s still going I’d love to get matched!

For started, I'm an entp-t and a Leo. I'm a very quiet and shy person, until you approach me to start a convo, I'll get chatty with you in no time! (if the person matches my freak) I guess in general I'm a very open and loud person.

My hobbies are doing art and collecting trinkets! I have a whole box and shelves full of charms, stickers, little figures and whatnot. I also still keep my toys and sometimes even play with them when I’m bored, more specifically littlest pet shops iykykykyk. Oh, right, I also love cosplaying!

I’m quite soft-hearted, and I get hurt easily if you say something out of the line, and I need lvl 999 reassurance or else I’ll overthink and have a mental breakdown. (Quietly)

Coming from all of my friends, I’m very humorous and I always make the people around me feel comfortable, and make sure they’re having fun around me of course. I’m also selfless(sometimes), for example if I’m having my favorite meal, I’ll definitely offer you a bite so you can have a taste, or I’ll buy extra of something just to give it to you, etc.

I’m very big on physical touch, though I’m big on every other love language too. If we’re close enough and I know you’re okay with it, I’m gonna be touching you every second LOL whether it’s holding hands, hugs, kisses, anything. I could just out of nowhere stuff my face into your tummy bc i love you idk. I loooove giving compliments, or saying anything silly that’ll make you laugh! I will also do things for you, like tuck you into bed, try cooking for you, learn about your interest, tie your shoe, ANYTHING!!!! I pick up a lot of small details and make sure to note them too!

It’d just be a random saturday, and I’d most likely start sobbing thinking about how much i love you. yea. I have a lot of love to give 😞

I will definitely introduce you to my interests too. I’ll make you play my toys with me, draw with me, maybe cosduo together, literally anything just to hang out wit u.

Your Blue Lock Matchup: Isagi Yoichi

Isagi would be the one who truly appreciates your soft-hearted, playful nature. You’d catch his attention immediately with your openness and unique blend of humor and warmth. He’s drawn to people who are kind and authentic, and you have that in spades—your ability to make everyone feel at ease is something he would admire deeply.

While he’s not the loudest person, Isagi’s perceptiveness and deep emotional intelligence would complement your more spontaneous, outgoing side. He would find joy in your interests, whether it’s drawing, cosplaying, or even playing with toys. Isagi loves people who can match his energy and creativity, and he’d find it endearing how you include him in your passions. Plus, he’d probably love the idea of cosduo-ing with you—Isagi’s the type to support his partner’s passions wholeheartedly.

As someone who’s a little more reserved but emotionally aware, Isagi would understand your need for reassurance and provide it without hesitation. He’d constantly check in on you, offering comfort when you get overthinking and reassuring you in his own calm, steady way. He would also be the type to notice the little things about you—the details you bring up or the way you interact—and show his affection in subtle but meaningful ways.

Your love for physical touch would match his need for closeness, and Isagi would love how affectionate you are. He’d embrace every moment of being close to you, whether it’s hugs, holding hands, or just enjoying quiet moments together. He’d enjoy seeing you express how much you love him, and it’d warm his heart to know that you’re so thoughtful, always giving and sharing love in the smallest, sweetest ways.

In a relationship, Isagi would be your emotional anchor, supporting you through tough times and celebrating your quirks and passions. He’d be happy to spend random Saturdays with you, laughing and making memories, and always showing you just how much he cares.

#🌸 match up

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dungbeatposse · 1 year ago

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THE RAMPAGE AND COLOURS PT. 2✨🎨

turns out i am diligent enough to complete the series! thanks again for reading my rambles!! it's been really fun writing like this, using my thinker to delve deep into stuff. again, i'll try to keep it simple and short.

i'd love to here other's thoughts on what colour they think the rmpg member's are, and maybe i'll do another for other groups too :DDD

if you hadn't read part 1 yet, go here. there i covered likiya, zin, riku, kenta, rui, yamasho, kazuma and hokuto. now, i'm gonna finish it off with the last 8 members. note, these were harder to think about than the first post (and when i say hard, i mean fucking HARD). so buckle up yall.

shogo - celeste (#95bfbc)

initially, i wanted to give shogo a warm colour. maybe a yellow or orange, but it didn't feel like it suited shogo for me. i knew i wanted to choose a colour with very vintage vibes. then, celeste caught my eye. it's a bright blue that looks well on its own, but when paired with warmer colours, it shines brighter. shogo might not be one of my favourite members, but he is his own work of art. calmer, but still with a bright presence.

shohei - pale chartreuse (#cde37f)

it was either yellow or green for him. bouncing between two, i had a difficult choice to make. then, i went "why not the middle?" chartreuse is very striking and is mostly a colour that looks amazing on its own. however, it's also strong with other colours, being able to stand out amongst them. shohei is not just his goofiness, or his more hard-working side. for me, chartreuse is a colour that combines both of his strong aspects into a vibrant person that is shohei.

itsuki - ginger (#f0a748)

ok, i'm gonna be honest. i chose ginger because of mars. i couldn't help it! i also thought about giving him a white colour, but it didn’t really fit as well as orange did. i think that he also has very orange cat energy. he very much does his own thing and has a tiny bit of a chaotic side too, though his initial vibe is cool, calm and collected. like itsuki is a cat trapped in a human body.

kaisei - sea green (#43a36d)

when i think about kaisei, i think of strong. not just physically (gaddamn that man is CUT), but also how mentally strong he is. pairing that with how his soft and friendly his character is, i just knew i wanted to give him a nice natural colour. something that matches his growth and resilience while also maintaining a nice calmer shade to match his softer side. i think something like sea green that was rich and vibrant was perfect for kaisei.

makoto - royal blue (#3238b3)

i know, ruby red is probably a better choice, but here me out. makoto always gave me a very regal vibe, with his strong features and the way he carries himself. considering his h&l character having a blue theme, the cooler aura he tends to have and the regality he was giving me, i think royal blue suits him well. the deeper, richer blue tone that sticks out elegantly matches what i think of makoto.

ryu - wine red (#521e1c)

ryu was always going to be wine red for me. it’s a colour that’s not too obvious, but also not something that’s going to disappear into the background. along with the fact that ryu looks fucking great with darker reds, i specifically chose wine red because it’s a colour that isn’t bold but still manages to have a strong impact. it matches his less outspokenness, but his beautiful aura of both maturity and softness.

takuma - peach orange (#f0654d)

i think i default creativity as a shade closer to pink/peach. i initially wanted to go for salmon red, but i settled on something closer to orange because 1) his hair and 2) it’s closer to a spring colour that suits him. i admire his creativity and his interests in art and fashion. for me, takuma has a refreshing aura that’s both sweet and soft without being too subtle. which kind of made me think of peach flavoured konjac jelly.

takahide - light green (#83bd68)

oof. takahide… he was like the final boss. i cycled through several options before settling on this one. there was yellow, orange, light pink, red, even pastel purple. i started to look through his older looks, tsuji looks etc. i thought about giving the whole ass rainbow but that would be a cop out.

then, i thought about his relationship with ryu. where ryu is shyer and reserved, takahide is the opposite. making them mirror each other would be perfect! giving him a light green was a choice i never saw myself making. but somehow, it worked. maybe it’s because of how naturally charismatic takahide is (i always tend to associate charisma with green), maybe it’s because he does quite a few green hair looks, or maybe it’s because his emoji is a goddamn frog.

but it works!

#the rampage from exile tribe #the rampage #exile tribe #i went on a spew for takahide i deeply apologise

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skruffie · 2 months ago

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I'm rather deep in my head at the moment thinking about my dad and there's a small part of me that is thinking "truly he wasn't always like this" but then another part of me that's like

am I absolutely certain of that

Because the thing is even if there was a time period where he wasn't Like This, it was so long ago and he's been like this for the majority of my life that I don't think it matters who he used to be lmao

throwing the rest under a cut because it gets long

Like, I'm trying to do a deep dive back when things were good and we were a family of four but the ultimate thing that I keep coming back to is that my whole life I've always been closer to my mom. She was the activities mom before Nicole got sick and stuff that I did with my dad wasn't solely with my dad, it was us as a whole family unit. The things we did do together were things like going to the bookstore for a couple hours to just be out of the house and read, but we didn't actually spend that time together--we were in different parts of the store.

The most transparent one on one time that I can actually recall was when Nicole had been hospitalized for two months for her stem cell transplant. Mom stayed at the hospital for those two months (City of Hope is not like other hospitals; there's temporary housing for families either as small apartments or, how my mom did it, borrowing grandpa's RV and living in it) and dad was still working, but because I was 10 they needed to figure out where to put me so I still had like. adults. in my life. I lived with my grandparents for those two months and dad basically lived alone at our house, but every evening after work he'd come spend time with me and we'd talk and work on jigsaw puzzles. Like, actually talk. I don't remember much about what but I remember the feeling of looking forward to seeing him every night and he was consistent with it.

A few months ago when Alice and I were hanging out I made some kind of offhand remark about how my parents fight with each other, which is like screaming matches etc slamming doors that kind of thing and I said it like it was the normal way that people fight. VB was like "uh, what you said?? that's not normal"

and I was like "huh?"

Why I'm bringing all this up and bringing back Bek Blogging About Family Problems? Well, he was determined to try to ruin Thanksgiving this year by acting like somehow the chronic illnesses and food problems my mom has, that we have collectively been dealing with as a family for like 15 years and have easily adapted to doing, was suddenly a federal fucking issue to a point where mom was packing bags to stay at a hotel for a couple weeks. I kinda talked her down from that.

The days leading up to that, I had texted my dad a question about something in his field of expertise for a friend who runs a business, but in the short conversations I had with him about it he had this sort of clipped, impatient tone talking to me and for the first time I just had this lightbulb thought that hasn't left me: he resents me. It didn't hurt at all to realize that, which is probably telling. Thanksgiving rolls around, mom is making herself physically absent and keeps ducking upstairs to give herself space and this fucking guy looks at me and asks "Did we do something to upset her?"

I just went back into my main blog as well as my sideblog where I contain the uh more bleak aspects of my mental health blogging+venting to try to refresh my memory and see if he's always been like that, and he kinda has!

There's just these little moments that I remember that have always stuck with me that I've held onto for years, and it's this feeling that I firmly, 100% believe that my dad thinks I am a much worse person than I actually am. There's no basis in reality for this. I will never forget once when I was like 19 or 20 I made some kind of remark about how I don't have an addictive personality and he said with full confidence "Yes you do."

and I was like ????? and he continued with "Yes you do, it just hasn't come out yet"

Tick-tock dad I'm pushing 35 and I'm still waiting to see if this addictive personality is going to pop out? It's really rich hearing that from the man with 2 DUIs, a rehab stint, who brought meth into our house and smoked it, who woke me up to sign off on the AA meetings he wasn't going to, who got a breathalyzer installed in the car, who served house arrest, who pushed me to stop talking about his alcoholism on social media because he didn't want his dad to see, like it goes on.

We were just at my parent's house last night because papa was going back home today and my dad kept baiting Alice about like, George RR Martin and other dumb shit. Alice made the decision today to not be around my dad in the future because after six years of him she's fully done. After the Thanksgiving fiasco my mom was saying she's going to push for marriage counseling, to push him into actually getting like an established primary care physician because this man does not go to the doctor, and also push him into getting therapy, but I've heard this over and over again for most of my life. He doesn't drink anymore but the behavior is the same. I don't think mom is sticking to her ultimatums but after over 30 years of dealing with him I feel less afraid about doing that. Alice put up with 6 and said no more. I kind of feel like if my dad wants to maintain any kind of relationship with me he needs to go with mom's plan. He can point out I rarely call or visit all he wants, but he'll need to reflect on why that is.

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jazarigi-joestar · 2 months ago

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Becoming a Tennis Ace [Jazari x Luigi Fanfic]

The following was kickstarted by a Question of the Day in a server. Here was the prompt:

"Is your F/O good friends with anyone in their source, and are they friends with you? How about any enemies? How do you interact with your F/Os friends / enemies?"

This fic explores the rivalry between Jazari and Daisy and their final clash durings the events of Mario Tennis Aces!

Word Count: 3553

I accidently made one of Luigi's friends into an enemy by dating him. You can probably guess where this is going. Princess Daisy! Famous empress of Sarassaland who is also famous for being the love interest of Luigi, and she knows it. The two did date in the past from 1991 to around 2008. Luigi was the one to break the partnership off due to his lifestyle of living with Mario and being on the downlow is in direct competition with marrying a literal high-profile empress and having to move out of kingdom to be with her. Daisy did not take it well but did not directly fight back against Luigi's decision, however the two never made the split-off super public (same for even getting together actually) so fans would still spectulate on "when they'd get together" and stuff. Daisy used this to her advantage to still live vicariously as Luigi's woman without actually dating Luigi.

But Luigi had moved on. And Luigi was single. And in the summer of 2014 had a 'lil run-in with a certain purple clad New Donker that developed into something more. Something more that couldn't be hidden forever.

When Daisy found out that this random guy managed to steal "her man" she was livid, but not upfront about her jealousy. Like any excellent ex she decides to be very passive aggressive over her emotions and subvertedly takes them out on Jazari. Typically these advances don't even work on him because he's autistic as fuck and it's really hard to be passive aggressive with him or they ended up making him look more appealing to Luigi lol. Then the Mario Party incident happened in 2015-16 (date undecided in my lore). With a game that is famous for causing aggression combines with a woman who is naturally competative and her main competition in this game is the man who is currently dating her ex, yeah shit is about to go down. Whether intentional or not she triggers his C-PTSD with a bitchslap during one of the matches leading to Jazari to run off to find somewhere to shut down and Luigi to notice this absence.

Some of the most angry I have ever seen Luigi was when he found me hiding behind some shrubs in whatever Grasslands based party board we were on and seeing that hand imprint. He's a calm and collected type of angry, gentle to those he knows didn't cause anything (and doesn't want to upset them either) but incredibly sharp-tongued to those who wronged him/others. He knew better than to confront whoever did this upfront in the game, so he picks Jazari up, says a few choice words to Mario to explain his sudden departure, and leaves the game along with Jaza.

He already knew who did it, the hand size and flowered embroidery in the mark told all. Frankly, Luigi was downright disgusted with what Daisy had done even if Jazari wasn't trauma sensitive you don't just physically assault someone outside of assigned minigames. And because of Jazari being triggered he had a mental spiral that lasted quite a while, leading to a number of things that would go on to improve himself and his bond with others. The most notable was Luigi going to Daisy's castle himself just a couple days after to give her a piece of his mind, completely disregarding Mario and Peach's concerns which is very out-of-character for him.

I heard what transpired that fateful vist shook Daisy so hard she couldn't even look at him for months which was completely fine with Luigi because he had more important things to worry about.

There is a conclusion to all this, a conclusion that couldn't be made without my improvement. See when you hit rock bottom after thinking you would be permanantly safe living with, oh I dunno, your celebrity idol you somehow managed to rizz up and only the most powerful international hero in the entire Marioverse just to have that security slipped from under you by one of their own close friends the only way forward was up.

After the inital shock and fallout Jazari had a job to do, a job to put Daisy in her place without any of the dirty work the empress is known for. He tackled his demons head on, working through trauma with Lu, shaving his hair to finally properly heal up his hair issues after basically a decade of neglect at his birthhome, and getting on testosterone finally because he had nothing to fear anymore. Nothing more to lose.

It took a bit for his appearence to settle, his hair to grow back, the world to normalize after being hit with a dimensional merge involving paper, a dimensional merge involving Rabbids (that he accidently got Rabbidfied in the process), and the entirely of motherfucking Super Mario Odyssey (which led to Mario realizing he had everything he ever wanted out of a partner with Jazari after Peach's rejection), but soon he was ready to come into the spotlight again.

In 2018 a tournament would be held, a tennis tournament to be exact. It would be one of the biggest tennis events in the kingdom and Jazari loves some good tennis. He couldn't even hope to compete however without proper training and guidence but thankfully a certain Luigi rival was more than happy to help. And it would give the chance for Waluigi to make Luigi jealous over someone giving him more attention insead so he gladly accepted free of charge.

Learning tennis from the second best tennis player in MK was vital for Jazari's plan to work as up until this point he has no awakened Star Power. To summerize, Star Power is the magical awakening of an elemental specific ability within a Star Child. There are around 8 main types, Fire (example Mario), Thunder (example Luigi), Wish (example Peach), Foral (example Daisy), Strength (example Wario), Dimensional (example Waluigi), and Star (example Rosalina). Having an awakened Star Power is vital in Mario Tennis Aces to perform Trick Shots, which slow time in order to hit a fast moving ball and are often in response to a Special Shot, which are the most powerful and fastest moving shots in the game that rely on your Star Power. Jazari has none of these because he wasn't a Mushroom Kingdom native (a kingdom that specializes in awakening your Star Power) so he was at great disadvantage...

Or so it would seem, if his base tennis skills weren't as good as they were by someone who never played regularly or competitively before. Seeing such potential made Waluigi even more interested to teach him because while he would not be the one to take down the long running tennis tournament champion, maybe this guy just might (and he could gloat and market his services afterwards for a get rich quick scheme).

Oh yeah, that long running tennis tournament champion? Daisy. Jazari was out for blood going against her pride and joy, the sport she loved the most and excelled at.

With Waluigi's guidence and competitive edge Jazari was able to leave an imprint early in the game. Being without any Special or Trick shots made his quick success that more impactful, understanding which standard shots to use to throw his opponents off guard as they had become too expecting of someone with magical ability. And he had a killer serve knowing exactly when to hit the ball with peak speed after months of practice.

Your advantage of using shock from your lack of magical ability does wear off pretty quickly though when dealing with a 29 character tournament. Getting into the semi-finals just on pure brute force alone was nothing to sneeze at, but it wasn't Daisy. And he needed to get to her.

Matches started tightening up, Luigi losing suspiciously easy to Jazari was the only moment of reprieve from near broken rackets (resulting in a win to the non-broken player) and deuce matches becoming longer and longer. He had to push through.

Daisy was pretty shocked to see the finalist matchup to say the least. How could someone with no Trick Shot even manage to lob against a Special? She almost wanted to cause a fuss about it being rigged, but the taste of beating his ass was too tempting to ignore, and as she walked right into his trap she came up with a devilish plan on her own.

This entire thing didn't go without any anxiety on Jazari's part either, he isn't some perfect Mary Sue. The weight of what he just put himself into with this final match was almost too much to bear as he stood by the sinks in the breakroom white-knuckle gripping the rim, not sure if he needed to puke or cry. Because of how high profile the competators were he was allowed a great amount of time between matches and a much more private breakroom than most. At least, it would've stayed private hadn't Luigi walked in.

In the heat of pursuing your goals you often forget what caused you to start in the first place. Your reason for trying. This entire tournament wasn't for him, but for the man that stood in front of him. Who was looking very tempting in those shorts of his.

One lore important intimate stress relief later and Jazari finds himself with a newfound pep in his step. A bitch needs to be put in her place backed by the blessing of her less-angry-more-annoyed-if-anything exboyfriend. Especially after the stunt she decides to pull on Live T.V. during shittalk before the match begins.

"Listen here, bucko. I know you think you're all high and mighty because of your high profile sugar daddy and being the successful underdog, but this is MY game. And in my game we play by my rules."

"If you win, you can gloat about it all you want. But when I win, I take my man back."

Of course, one last trick up her sleeve because she's backed into a corner. Well now he was in that same corner too. He said no he would look like a coward and insecure, so he did what he had to.

"...Ya think scare tactics work on me? I've fought my way here, you're just someone who intimidates to get what she wants. Go ahead with your stupid bet, I'm not gonna be the one who has to deal with trying to the Green Guy back."

He saw that striking anger flare up in her eyes, the same one that overpowered him those years ago. But that was then and she can't use the same tactics twice.

The immoveable object meets the unstoppable force with a strong serve from Daisy and a even stronger lob from Jazari, causing her to already use some of her Star Energy for a Trick Shot. All it took was that one starting shot for him to understand everything about her playstyle. She's become overreliant on her magic, more than likely just breaking rackets using tricky Special Shots instead of actual skill. There was only one way to test that theory...

Watching her not make any Star Energy costing moves for multiple passes was telling about what to come. A full gauge means a full Special with plenty of time to aim (wonder why she would need that...). That Special Shot came, blew right past him, and hit the ground in the out zone. A purposeful lose-lose situation (hit too soon, break your racket, hit perfectly and lose a point due to the ball being out) that would have gotten any other player.

Seeing the realization of who she's dealing with couldn't help but make Jazari grin.

"What? You think I was cheating this whole way through?"

"Well-! I-! You-! UGHH!!"

"...Petty tricks like that don't work on me hun, try to play for real next time."

Daisy being pinned down only makes her more dangerous, he couldn't let his ego overcome him just yet. Suspicions where correct when she landed another perfect serve. It's hard to find anyone who can master the serve, twice in a row was lucky, so he didn't become discouraged just yet. He just played as he always did until she hit him with another Special Shot. An inbound one this time that he still purposefully avoided. Now they were 15 to all.

Not hitting Special Shots is a very cocky move, even for him. Typically he would go for them even if he got racket damage as other players used these shots as an opportunistic advantage, not a crutch. He was also purposefully misleading her into sending it out a third time where he was able to perfectly hit and make her miss her next shot.

30 to 15.

An.. unfortunate pattern was quickly emerging. Jazari gets the advantage and Daisy quickly sneaks up after with another point. Would playing fairly ever win against someone with magical advantage?

Skipping ahead all the tennis jargon and mistakes and fault-findings both make the pattern proved very true. The two were evenly matched in a incredibly long and grueling game of deuces. No one was truely getting the advantage and neither were willing to just end with a tie despite worries of overexaustion from fans.

Being beat out of the tournament Mario and Co. were sitting in the bleachers watching this all go down. The tension was thick, especially from the twins who were behind Jazari. In a switchup compared to their typical demeaner Mario was the one standing up anxious, gripping the railing while Luigi was... oddly calm.

"I- I don't know how you could do it, Lu. You guyes reputation is... a bit at stake right?"

Luigi just hums, showing he's listening but not really agreeing.

"He fine. Practice. Prepare," he pauses before finding his next words, "He not leave 'til beat."

"This is his first game! Ever! He's going to wear himself out!"

Lu's hand softly twitches in response, Mario knows how to hit his nerves. He points at Daisy, "Look."

Daisy... was frankly a mess by this point, hair sticking to her, exhaustion in her eyes, and she had to remove her crown long ago due to the weight bothering her.

He shifts his fingers direction, "Then, Jaza."

Jazari was also equally a mess, if not worse than Daisy. But only physically. He had something she did not. A glimmer of a will to keep going in his eyes.

Luigi clasps his hands together afterward with a content smile and eyes full of adoration, "See? He fine!"

Mario could only simply nod in agreement.

Jazari on the other hand was reveling in seeing the princess in this state. A state she's not familiar with, but a state he's more than comfortable being in.

"Neva had to work this hard before, eh Tuts?"

A scowl and a sharp "Shut up and just serve the damn ball!" in midst of pants was all he got in response.

"Hm, odd, just an hour or so ago you were all about taunting me and when I return the favor you just want to play like normal? Are you all bark and no bite?"

Something important about Mario tennis games is a technique where before a game starts you can press A to taunt. It seems insignificant, almost useless at first, until I mention the fact that this taunting will raise Star Power. Daisy was abusing this in the beginning to quickly raise her Star Energy and hit Special Shots, but knowing Jazari it's just a waste of energy at this point.

But, what happens when someone with no Star Power taunts enough?

Even after shooting another perfect serve he didn't stop his taunting. He could see how it bothers her, how it cuts deeper into her now that she's tired.

"Your shots are getting slower Daisy, I'd watch out if I were you!"

High powered Trick Shot in response, even stronger slice on the return.

"Heheh, having to rely on your magic again?"

It is invigorating, heart-pounding to be so confidently spiteful. Winning doesn't even matter anymore Jazari had successfully humiliated her at her own sport.

But, he couldn't stop. The footwork, the paddle angles, the speed of the ball had become second nature by this point. Or maybe his feet were becoming numb by this point. Didn't matter anyway as Daisy loses to a Drop Shot from how her tiredness has slowed her down.

Finally, an Adv. to 40 on Jazari's side. Daisy was getting angry again so now it's all or nothing. Due to her conserving her energy she was able to hit a Special Shot right off the bat, a shot the Jazari hit too early on causing racket damage. A lot of racket damage. This was no good. One wrong move later and all his efforts will be forfeit to someone who frankly didn't deserve the honor of victory.

And because of how much energy she had stored, she Special Shotted. Again. He couldn't be afraid this time. He won't be afraid this time.

Time seemed to slow down upon that thought, allowing him to quickly jump over to the ball's position before striking it back with perfect accuracy. He couldn't figure out the crowd's sudden silence or the wide-eyed look of astonishment from Daisy and the ball was moving too quickly for her to speak. Jazari was quick on the retort.

"Yeah, yeah, I can hit Special Shots good when I want to."

His taunts weren't just taunts anymore as a spark of gold aura appeared whenever he successfully completed a quip now. Daisy realized almost immediately, too bad Jaza was too focused to care.

"Stop..," was all she could mutter.

"What? I hurt your feelings, hm?" Another gold aura.

"Stop!"

"You want to quit? Only if you surrender your win." Another gold aura.

"Stop taunting!!"

But... it was too late when she saw the signature darkening of the arena as he stopped the ball midair with the flick of the wrist. He stared at the ball confusingly, not fully sure of what he's doing. It felt good to spin it around a little bit though, feeling weightless as well. Before he knew it he had built up some serious speed in the ball and serious altitude with himself and set his ball target to be hit in the same spot as what Daisy hit him with that first round.

All he could do was grin and hit the ball with more force than he'd ever have before. "Take this!"

The sound of a cracking racket and the signature yells from the empress signified the end. Jazari did it, things were finally over. Well, once he gets down first.

No one really tells you how difficult it is to make the landing after being magically put several feet in the air so he hits the ground. Hard. Mario and Co. were quick to rush over, Jazari able to make out only bits and pieces. A soft spoken "Oh my stars!" here, frantic Italian there. Being picked up felt pretty sweet though.

He come to in Luigi's arms walking him somewhere, possibly for first aid. Jazari was quick to squirm out and hop onto his shoulders piggy-back (legs to tired to stand).

"Easy!," Lu was quick to say not wanting Jazari to overwork himself so quickly.

His concerns fell on deaf ears as Jazari fed into the crowds uproar with waves and smiles. They loved it, seeing the Kingdom's newest couple not only beat the previously sought after partner for Lu but do so so dramatically. Jaza didn't understand the full scope of this until he peered down at his chest, his purple tennis top now sporting a weird glowing, pulsating lilac star.

"...What's that."

A giggle could be heard to his left as he turned to see Peach (was she there the whole time... embarrassing). "That's your Star Power! The Star Spirits must have seen your tournament with Daisy as a great accomplishment in your personal journey and granted you their blessing."

Another voice could be heard to his right, Rosalina. "You need to rest. Not only did you put your body through incredible stress but now you have a freshly-awakened Power as well."

"Do I keep the glowy chest thing orrr-"

"The insigna will fade, currently it is overactive due to not being acquainted with your form."

Peach sighed, "I can't believe we got to see an Awakening during such a eventful tournament. Let alone have it be broadcasted on T.V.!"

Jazari couldn't help but groan for how he kept finding himself in these life-altering historical events. Being a Rabbid was more fun than this. His train of thought was quickly broken by Peach not-so-subtlely whispering how Jaza needs to be "treated" to some one-on-one "relaxation" later with Luigi laughing in response. He was quick to punch Lu in the shoulder, "Hey! Not me! I not start it!!"

Despite all the noise and chaos around them Jazari felt at peace, leaning into the back of Luigi's head out of exhaustion. He was fulfilled, he didn't have to prove his worth to anyone anymore. Who wins to the Queen of Tennis??

Jazari felt his eyes close as one last thought crosses his mind.

This guy does.

Reblogs > Likes :] If you enjoyed I would appreciate kudos on the A03 version as well! Becoming a Tennis Ace - Jazarigi - Super Mario & Related Fandoms [Archive of Our Own]

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lifmera · 11 months ago

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hi hi!! hope your doing well! i’d like to ask for a romantic hazbin hotel match up! i’m gender-fluid masculine presenting and i use all pronouns, and i don’t have a gender preference!

My MBTI is ISTP but most people perceive me as a ENTP. i am quite tall, around six feet. i have a strong sense of right and wrong and justice, and i care deeply for others, but i often act reckless and loud because i don’t want to be taken advantage of for my kindness.

i really like being around people, and i like helping others in any way i can, i can be quite selfless at times but i know when to be stern to protect myself. i am quite social but i suffer from some mental illness, specifaclly bipolar and schizophrenia so it can make it quite hard to understand and connect with others and the world around me.

i am autistic and i often stim a lot by flapping my hands and moving my arms around. i have a lot of different interests, i really like silly things like clowns i think they are awesome and i really like fictional media, i also like collecting toys like my little pony, it makes me feel really happy!

i have a couple hobbies, i really like shopping a lot, i find it to be super fun, i also like writing and drawing, and i’m getting into software engineering! i also like listening to music, i listen to a wide range of genres but my favorites are breakcore, indie folk, glitch core and basically anything that is loud tbh 😭

i am often disconnected mentally from the world around me, so i sometimes have psychosis and hallucinations, i take medication for it and it works well but i still have episodes sometimes, it really helps having someone to ground me back into reality.

i really like bonding over interests with others and getting people into the stuff i like, i also love listening to others talk about things they like. i have really bad memory so i often forget important things but i try my best.

best way to describe my style i guess would be older brother core 😭??? idk but basically i wear comfy oversized clothes like silly t- shirts with cats on them and pj pants with cartoon characters on them and silly character beanies.

i really like being shown love by getting gifts and people doing actions of service for me, i kind of have trust issues so it’s hard to believe someone when it’s just words and not actions.

i am super chaotic i love saying unhinged things and just being very loud it’s very fun for me, i like jokingly threatening to eat people 😭 i also often type in all caps.

i am in a lot of obscure fandoms and i LOVE nerding out about my interests!

sorry if this is a lot 😭 but thank you so much!!

AHHH THE ONE I HAD DELETED 🥲

Hi hun!! This is completely fine!!

I’ve paired you with…. ANGEL DUST!!

When angel first met you, he definitely thought you were super attractive, and decided to hit on you!

But when he got closer to you, he really realized that he was starting to develop feelings 🩷

At first he was super drawn in by your reckless personality, but when you showed your true kind self- he fell in love.

With your sense of Justice especially… when he saw how you treated Valentino… and GENUINELY truly cared about him? It broke down his walls and let you into his heart.

He definitely introduced you to Cherri and you all became BESTIES. They would totally drag you around to parties and such and socialize ! You guys are the LIVES of the party.

If you confided in him about the mental illness and autism, he definitely would ask a BUNCH of questions to understand you more, and also try not to offend you.

He’d also try to help you through your episodes. He knows he isn’t the best comforter, but he tries. :(

If you told him your special interests he’d bolt out the door with you to do those things! Like clowns? LULU LAND!

Collectors Items? THE STORE!!!!

Angel would love to do some of your hobbies with you. Shopping? You guys are staying out ALL DAY. Writing? You better read whatever it is to him. Listening to music? SINGING YOUR HEARTS OUT!

Honestly, he’d probably judge your outfit choice, until he decided to steal your outfit one day, and realized how comfortable it is??

He totally steals ur clothes at night.

Angel would agree with you !! Actions speak louder than words, kinda why he’s at the hotel! Although he’s always pretty sexual, I think he’d be a sweetheart.

The chaotic nature is what brought him in! You guys are always having fun.

He would also LOVE TO listen to you rant 24/7. Even if he cant get into your interests, he’d try. And he’d always listen. It helps him get away from the world.

~~~

I HOPE THIS WAS OKAY?!!

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spurious · 2 years ago

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how about BTS for O I Think We Should Be Brethren

(Fic-Specific asks)

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from [that fic]

trap card ACTIVATED although i don't even know where to start tbh

O I Think We Should Be Brethren aka Live Oak #4 aka John Sheppard's Sad Gay Life Fic aka the longest thing i have ever completed and posted aka my sort of mcshep thesis

I did a little commentary post on the whole first chapter of this fic, soooooooooo I'll go with something from chapter 2. The thing about chapter two of this fic is that it’s kind of just a collection of episode tags, but I didn’t want it to be just a collection of episode tags, because that would be boring, but I also wanted to hew very closely to canon events but just shown through the lens of John’s developing feelings. What that got me was basically all the very clearly episode-related sections, along with sections where nothing much happens but we get some glimpses into John’s feelings, into their more mundane interactions. I was torn between choosing this or the very early section where John obliquely comes out to Rodney, because that was something I wrote really early on and informs a lot of Rodney’s actions through the story, but I feel like I might have more to say, in the aggregate, about this bit, which is set shortly after the events of The Shrine:

After what Rodney takes to calling his "brush with stupidity," he becomes obsessed with creating documentation for all of the small, essential (according to him) tasks he does around Atlantis.

I think it makes a certain level of sense that, despite having near-on five years of his life being in grave danger multiple times, the possible loss of his mind is what would spur Rodney into the realization that he probably needs to document some shit.

"I can't trust anyone else to know to do this," he explains, manic, when John finds him in a rarely-used lab at three in the morning. He's bent over a Frankenstein abomination of Earth and Ancient tech (and no small measure of duct tape), something he's obviously jury-rigged himself, and he's in such a state that, thankfully, he doesn't even think to ask why or how John found him there at this hour. "What the hell is it, Rodney?" John tilts his head, stepping in closer—it probably won't explode in his face, he figures.

Why John found him there: because he knows Rodney's driving himself nuts trying to document a million tiny things and hasn't been sleeping. How John found him there: life signs detector and several years' practice studying the Wandering Habits of the Wild McKay

"You know that old joke that the entirety of modern digital infrastructure is all leaning on some free, open-source project being thanklessly maintained by a random guy in a basement somewhere, and the whole of the internet and probably the world's banking systems will break when he either gives it up or dies?" Rodney says, hitting somewhere close to a personal best on words-per-minute and not even stopping for John's answer. "No, wait, of course you don't, you're not a geek."

I stole that joke from XKCD but it just came into my mind and I would imagine Rodney spitting the whole thing out in one uninterrupted breath. (anyway i did link it in the endnotes so)

John scowls. "Hey!" "Fine," Rodney acquiesces, "you're not that kind of geek." And that, John can agree to. He'll match Rodney on comics and sci-fi trivia and mental math, but he's never gotten too into computers that aren't on board something that can go very fast.

John being offended that after all these years Rodney still thinks he's a jock is just, cute to me alright. He's a geek, he likes geek stuff, he's just also hot and has generic man interests as well!! I like the bit about computers that aren't on board something that can go very fast, though, that feels...correct to me.

"So this is Atlantis's free, open-source project and you're the basement-dweller who thanklessly maintains it?" "Exactly," Rodney answers, apparently too wrapped up in the work to notice John's lovingly-crafted insult.

All of John's insults are lovingly crafted.

"And you're writing documentation for it?" John pulls out a chair, sprawling lazily so he can get a look at what's on Rodney's screen. He's got a laptop open with a dense-looking brick of text he's typing additions to, and a tablet with what looks like a hand-drawn schematic pulled up on it. "Oh, well-spotted, Colonel Obvious," Rodney says drily, rolling his eyes. "I doubt anyone will really understand what it does, but Zelenka's a competent enough engineer to at least be able to follow a manual." "Right," John says, and then he sits, watching Rodney type, poke at the device, curse, and type some more. About five minutes go by before he speaks again. "You could also consider just staying alive so you can keep fixing it?"

John, five years in, having watched as Rodney slowly lost everything that makes him him, is a bit weak. That's really the only explanation for why he just says the quiet part out loud, here, even though he's trying to make it sound like a joke. I like this scene because it feels right to have them have this kind of conversation, this kind of bare, quiet intimacy, while the rest of the city is asleep, cocooned together in a lab with Rodney's tech all around them.

"Well, yes, obviously that's what I would prefer as well," Rodney says peevishly, the clacking of the keyboard turning a shade violent as the pitch of his voice rises. "But apparently this galaxy has other plans for me, and it was honestly foolish of me to have gone this long without coming to terms with the fact that I could die at any moment without anyone able to continue my work, so—" John doesn't think, his hand shooting out to grab Rodney's as it flails through the air in a helpless, fatalistic gesture. Rodney stops, mouth half-open, and just stares at John's hand, wrapped around his wrist, fingers curled against Rodney's palm. They're frozen like that, both staring at their hands, until Rodney says, voice quiet, "John?"

I love this part, this image right here. John not knowing what to do and just wanting to make Rodney stop and breathe for a second. Rodney absolutely stymied by the sudden physical contact, the nearness to hand-holding, enough that he uses John's given name. Rodney's actually going through a lot, emotionally, during this fic, that all becomes eventually clear in chapter 3, and this is definitely one of the sections I wrote with all of that very much at the forefront of my mind.

John squeezes Rodney's hand, just once, and looks at his face. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Rodney." And it's a promise John knows he can't keep, but it's also the only thing he can think to say, because he desperately wants it to be true, to be something he can say with certainty. Rodney, of course, is a man of science, and he understands reality, understands probability. "You can't promise—" John squeezes again, feels out the broad thickness of Rodney's palm. "I've done it up till now, haven't I?"

This scene has echoes of their beer on the pier, where Rodney tries to say goodbye and John just won't, legitimately refuses to, like, engage with reality? Because on some level I think John actually does believe that he can protect Rodney, can keep him safe from harm; he knows he'll give his life for that to be the truth, and he hopes, deep down, even though he's tried very very hard to extinguish that very hope, that his love, his devotion, will be enough.

Rodney's eyebrows knit together, his gaze darting around, and then he nods, quick and final. "Yes, I suppose you have."

Rodney may not know the true depth of John's feelings, but he believes this, too. Believes in John, in a way I don't think he believes in many things.

Love and honor, protect and cherish. Till death. It may not be vows, but it feels like them, to John.

Here's the wedding vows motif making an appearance again. John, fatalistic, eyes wide open, pledging and devoting his life to Rodney even though he doesn't think it'll ever be reciprocated, because he can't do anything else. Can't do anything less. He tries, several times, throughout this story, to pull away and put some distance between himself and Rodney, and every single time it ends up failing, for one reason or another. He's drawn back into Rodney's orbit, inexorably, but he's also so wrapped up in his own inwardly-directed misery that he doesn't realize Rodney's drawn to him right back.

He swallows around the lump in his throat, standing up and using their joined hands to pull Rodney up with him. Their hands slide apart, and John steps back, puts some distance between them. "Now come on, that big brain of yours needs some sleep."

Literally right here he's putting physical distance, after saying what, to John, amount to wedding vows. It's too much, too open, and he needs to get them back to an equilibrium because it feels dangerous to let that moment sit between them for too long.

"Yeah, alright," Rodney says, gathering up the laptop and tablet before he follows John out the door.

god. okay. i gave myself a lot of feelings writing all this out!!!!!!!!!!! i love this story so much, i think it's probably the best thing i've ever written, and.....idk i'm happy to talk about it forever and ever so thank you for asking???????????????????????? seriously.

#ask meme #fic rambles

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