#I just want u to know i love u you are fine just the way u are

[littelovelunette]

This is so depraved and disgusting but whatever but how about ceo sev taking u to her meetings nd business partner vi ISNT agreeing to the new deal so sev offers ur ass as payment to secure the deal and they both fuck ur shit up and sev basically shows her how tight readers ass is to fully convince her to agree to the new deal (I’m ovulating and this is soooo much so I apologize for how weird this is)

Deal To Be Struck

No "apologising for depraved requests" allowed in here, I want all my babies to feel safe and validated. I love that filthy thought.

Contains smut, threesome, rough anal play and fingering, degradation, mild spanking, finger sucking

"Are you suggesting I put my wife's ass up to make you secure the deal for me?" Sevika asked, her voice raising an octave at the audacity of the other woman.

You were seated next to Sevika, in a tight blazer straining against your tits and black mini skirt. Sevika had dressed you up for today's meeting. The garter stockings were making it harder to maintain because the skirt was short and the belt was pulling your panties down ever now and then, so you preferred to remain seated.

You tugged at Sevika's sleeve from where you were seated and gave her the nod of approval, Sevika let out a small sigh.

"Well, if you're not exactly comfortable with that, I know where the door is," Vi said, pushing herself off the wall, walking to the door.

There was something about that woman, her calmness yet roughness... It made you soak through your panties but you kept your desires buried deep in your heart, not wanting to be disloyal although you and Sevika had talked about trying a threesome before.

"Wait, Violet," Sevika said, "Fine, you can have my wife, but only the ass," she added, a warning tone in her voice.

You couldn't help feel your body grow hot at the thought of Vi stretching your tight ass open. Thighs pressing against one another to try to calm the ache between your legs, the need for some friction.

"So strict," Vi said with a hint of mockery in her voice as she walked over to you, letting out a hand in which you pressed your very own. Vi's fingers wrapped around your wrist, pulling you flush against her body.

You could almost feel the heat radiating off her, hard abs pressed against your soft body from through her suit.

You could see Sevika from your peripheral vision lighting up a cigarette and taking a deep inhale of the smoke, strangely enough she didn't seem to unhappy about the whole ordeal... Not as you expected her to be.

Just then Vi pinned you to the table, ass facing her, "You have a nice ass, baby," Vi whispered in your air, the tufts of her pink hair tickling the side of your neck.

"Sevika dressed me," you mumbled your voice meek as you saw Vi stealing a glance at Sevika who was manspread on her chair, smoking her cigarette as she watched you both.

Vi cupped one of your plump ass cheeks in her hand, giving it a firm squeeze before pulling it back to slap your ass.

You could only let out a small yelp followed by a whimper.

She admired the way it jiggled against the impact before pulling your mini skirt up, "Garters? Hm, you sure have good taste," Vi bit the shell of your ear sending shivers down your spine.

"So you dressed your wife up fancily in case you needed to swoon me over to secure the deal for you?" Vi taunted, hands pulling your panties down with ease along with the stockings, "I gotta hand it to you, Sevika, smart move. Very... Business-y."

Vi raised a hand and send a smack on your ass, making your body jolt in pain.

"Spread your legs, use your hands and spread those cheeks for me," Vi said and you complied.

"There, good girl," Vi pushed two of her digits in your mouth, getting them nice and wet, "Suck on them, go on, you've already come so far. In front of your wife, panties down, pussy probably dripping wet at the thought of a rich investor fingering your ass as your wife watches, huh?"

You couldn't help whimper at the way she was taunting you but you still sucked on her fingers obediently. You couldn't help it. She was so right about it all after all.

Vi pulled her fingers out, lining them against your asshole with a smirk, "You ready? I won't be all soft and gentle, y'know? Dunno how your woman fucks you anyway," Vi thrusted her fingers in, strong slender fingers scissoring through the tight passageway to loosen the tension building up in your sphincture.

"Y-Youre so rough and so mean," you could only whine and complain as she continued thrusting her fingers in and out sending a burning sensation in your ass, the stretch making it feel like you'd cum already but you didn't.

Vi didn't let your whines and complains stop her, she twisted her fingers, angling them in such a way that she attacked a certain spot that made your knees buckle and reach to grab the table desperately to keep yourself from falling to your knees.

"P-Please," you could only beg her but you knew she wouldn't stop.

Now that she came so far she might as well make you cum from it.

"Oh, yeah, you like that?" Vi asked, voice strained from the effort of going so rough on your ass.

"Told ya' she's a tight one," Sevika said, putting the cigarette butt in the ash tray.

"You both discussed this before?" You asked through your moans and gasps.

Sevika didn't answer, walking beside the both of you, slipping two thick fingers in your mouth.

"Mmmph!" You gagged as she finger fucked your throat.

"Dolls don't speak unless spoken to," Sevika said, her voice dangerously low.

You knew you had to keep going or both of them would ruin you badly so you obediently tried to suck onto her digits in your mouth as Vi added a third finger in your asshole, slapping your ass with her other hand.

"Relax, bitch, stop tensing up," Vi spat out.

"M-Mhm," you could only let out a muffled sound of obedience before trying to loosen your muscles so Vi could continue thrusting deeper in your rectum, making your eyes close as tears streamed down your cheeks smudging your mascara.

"Good girl, always making mommy so proud," Sevika praised, smirk etched on her lips.

Vi thrusted all three fingers knuckles deep and you finally cam, slowly dropped to your knees from exhaustion as your body gave away.

Liquid seeping out of your pussy, asshole glistening and a little swollen from the recent rough treatment.

"I'll call my assistant and let you know the deal's secured," Vi shook Sevika's hand with her right hand, forcing you to suck your ass juices off her other hand before giving you a small pat on the head and walked off.

What just happened...?

[mvctavish]

hesdcanosn for graves and price where the reader is pretty bossy and kind of intimidating? for graves she's sort of the co-commander of shadow co. and for price she's the 141's medic

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐄 - 𝐁𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐘!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐂𝐒

notes: i love this idea so so much you're a genius anon!! since the relationship wasn't specified... i just made the reader their wife... cuz it felt right to me. if u were hoping for platonic hcs or anything different don't be afraid to send in another ask and i'll do it!! anyways, happy reading <3

summary: (seperate) headcanons of graves and price with a bossy/intimidating wife

cw: wife!reader (for both), deputycommander!reader (for graves), medic!reader (for price), general war stuff idk, probably inaccuracies when it comes to the military/PMCs, reader is kind of bitchy, for price reader is mentioned to be at least smaller than him

cdr. phillip graves

౿ ۪ ݁ he's scared of you, and it's pretty obvious despite his attempts at hiding it. when you get mad, he gets all quiet and mutters a quick and respectful "yes ma'am" no matter what you request or say to him. it's rather funny seeing the commander so scared of his own wife. phillip has seen first-hand just how angry you can get when things don't go your way. the aftermath ain't pretty. while he knows you'd never actually hurt him (besides throw around a few choice words) he prefers to keep the peace at all costs. he hates seeing you upset, whether it's a mission gone sour or down to something little like him leaving the toilet seat up.

you two first met way back in the marines, fresh outta boot camp and ready to conquer the world. even then you were intimidating, a fiery attitude that could challenge the sargeant above you both. you ended up leaving the military when phillip did, and got married not long after. despite the fact that he'd much rather have you not risk your life — you were insistent on being part of shadow company when it was formed, and not behind the scenes.

as his deputy commander, you're right there by his side. the shadows are like family to both you and graves — they're your boys — but you aren't afraid to whip them into shape if necessary. some new recruits are being too rambunctious for your liking? you're giving a sharp, glaring look to your husband and he's quick to get them in line. it doesn't take long at all for them to learn to respect (and fear) you, perhaps even more than graves. you're a force to be reckoned with.

down to the more domestic aspects of your life, you're always on his ass about the upkeep of the house. when you're both home, the work is split 50/50 (which was a huge shock to graves at first since he's always been a bit more traditional) but he knows it's only fair since you both work. you like your house in pristine condition, down to the floorboards being dusted, to the lampshades being in just the right position. you're bossy about little things, like always pairing up the socks when they're taken out of the dryer or him rinsing his beard trimmings down the sink whenever he's done shaving. he knows you tend to get a little pissy when things aren't done exactly how you like them, so that's why graves makes sure he — and the shadows — always listen to your input.

capt. john price

౿ ۪ ݁ price is more impressed than anything. there's so much fire and spirit crammed into one small thing: you. it's funny to him, how most people you interact with can be so intimidated by you. you have the bossy attitude as an angry mother bear, yet can still be sweet when it's needed. price first met you when he was still a lieutenant, suffering from a bad injury on the field. you were the only combat medic on duty. he'd tried to convince you that he was fine — there were other men that needed your help, too, and that he could keep going — but you'd grabbed him by the ear and chewed him out. calling him a "damn fool with a death wish," and that if he wanted to live he'd "better listen to you and sit his ass down." he'd immediately gone quiet and did as he was told. price wasn't used to being spoken to like that, much less from someone of a lower rank. that was the moment he knew he had to have you, and the rest was history.

it took a while to gain your attention around base, and you were the reason he grew out his beard in the first place, after a passing comment that you'd made about how you thought it'd make him more rugged. it took time, but you were worth every second.

relationships in your line of work can be messy, and perhaps one of the worst aspects could be the judgment from others. in one interaction with a new face on base, you'd gotten into quite a heated argument. the guy thought you'd be easy picking, a way to make fun of you and show off in front of his new pals. your sharp tongue and quick insults resulted in the man leaving close to tears, whilst price watched round the corner with a little smirk on his face. deep down, he'd always worry about you. you were his wife, his woman, his world. it was only natural — but instances like that reminded him that you could stand up for yourself. you were strong and independent, and never let anyone walk all over you. you'd been a people pleaser in the past, but never again. you lived for yourself.

once task force 141 was formed, it's obvious that your husband recruited you to join as well. it was difficult, and he had to abuse a few loopholes in the policies to even be allowed to be your CO, but in the end, it worked. rounding back to the mama bear point, ghost, gaz, and soap quickly warm up to you. you're honestly the closest thing any of them have to a mum. a scary, bossy, picky one, but still a mum. your team's safety is your number one priority, and you certainly aren't afraid of getting your hands dirty both figuratively and literally. you keep the boys and price in line, constantly nagging about drinking water and insisting that they need to eat more than just a damn protein barn before a mission. MREs suck, but it's better than going hungry.

price lets you boss him round whenever you two are home from deployment. of course, on the battlefield, he's in charge. but home? it's a different story. the lawn needs to be mowed? you bet it'll be done by the evening. low on groceries? he's starting a list and planning to drive down to the shops. you and price never really get into any real arguments. he's seen you on the battlefield, frightening as you shout orders to anyone around as you're patching up an injured soldier — that sort of intensity is one he does everything to avoid seeing in you.

[softlypaintedseafoam]

i'm your conscience, i am love

synopsis. with new waters on the horizon and wano embracing a new dawn, you enjoy a private moment with your beloved swordsman.

pairing. roronoa zoro x f!reader

word count. 0.7k | masterlist

content warning. wano spoilers, reader is coded black (written ambiguously. anyone can read), established relationship, soft zoro, silent 'i love you's

reblogs & interactions appreciated.

a surprise gift for my friend @triangularz >:3c hehe, surprise hazel, i'm sure you didn't see this coming! i'm also back at it again with the i would die 4 u titles, i did warn you guys though. i've never written for zoro before but i wanted to give it a go!

You'll miss the beauty of the Flower Capital.

A fragment of guilt takes hold of your heart; yet you can't stop yourself from admitting it. From the crystal blue lake with flower petals delicately floating across its surface to the vibrant green eaves that accompany you. The Flower Capital is aptly named. It is a sight to behold, especially when juxtaposed to the current conditions of the rest of the country.

The next time you see Wano, you pray that it will be when green covers the whole of the island.

Tama will be a step closer to her dream of becoming a kunoichi, darling and excitable. Momonosuke will be a touch more mature and Hiyori will be will be as rambunctious as ever, giving her brother a run for his money now that she no longer needs to project herself as the most sought over oiran in the whole of Wano. By then, Yamato may return with you all as a full-fledged Straw Hat, seeing the country of his birth for the first time in years.

Yes, it's a wonderful scene to imagine. The warm hugs and the banquet that will ensue privately in the castle, Wano unaware that its unsung heroes have returned.

For now, though, the unsung heroes will be living in the morning.

So for today, your crew prepares their exodus and says their necessary goodbyes. For today, you can enjoy a small walk in the forest with your partner and see the scenery one last time. All without the worries that Zoro will get lost like if you were to live him to his own devices.

Wano's healing won't be an immediate change.

No amount of hoping and wishing will do that. But everything has to start somewhere, you fasten your grip on Zoro's arm. He glances at you curiously before you smile in return, giving him arm a brief squeeze. All things are fine here! "Just thinking about how nice it'll be to see Wano after some time passes," you sniff the fragrant aroma of cherry and plum blossoms. "By then, Luffy'll be King of the Pirates, you know. And I'm sure you'll have knocked Mihawk off of his throne."

Zoro's lips spread into a grin, dark eyes glinting with mischief. Of course, you can hear him say. That's the only way we'll come back here! "I wonder who'll be trying to dethrone me by then," you're sure he is imagining his hypothetical opponents with he laughs. It's fittingly Zoro that he the prospect only excites him. You try to picture it; a Zoro 20 years from now staring down a spunky teenager challenging him for his title. What sort of adventure will that person go on to reach levels necessary to fight the King of Hell?

You can only hope it will be as wonderful as the one you're on right now.

"Do you think they'll go sailing across the Grand Line to get strong enough to defeat you?" Maybe they'll come across the sky islands or surf the sands of Alabasta. "Go on a crazy adventure and learn about the world?"

Zoro looks boyishly young, like a child winning his first match in a duel at his dojo. "They'll have to if they ever want to defeat me," he nods firmly, grinning with all of his teeth. "Maybe throw in one person whose fought me before. If they can't handle someone whose ass I've kicked, they definitely can't handle me. And they can't have any scars on their back," he adds in quick succession.

"Maybe they'll fall in love," you giggle knowingly, raising your brows in a playful motion. You hold the gaze of dark eyes with tender affection that is doubly reciprocated.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Zoro's voice is a quiet, warm timber. There's a near melodic quality to it that you can't describe and everything is green. When did green become your favorite color? Stubborn verdure, pulsing with the vitality of life and everything beautiful about it. You're arrogant enough to believe Zoro looks at you like you're the one that embodies those qualities rather than him. "That wouldn't be bad at all."

Your adoration bubbles over the surface and you raise one of Zoro's hands, pressing a kiss against his palm. The walk comes to a sudden pause, Zoro gently wresting his hand from your grip to cup the side of your face. A thumb grazes your bottom lip. "You might as well commit to the full thing," he murmurs, lips brushing against yours before pressing them together firmly.

[rebelssvy]

hello i love your kirishima stuff so much can i request kirishima x super independent reader?

YESS YESS YES im actually super independent irl so this is gonna be goood

independent ✧.*

kirishima x independent reader ⋆·˚ ༘ *

summary: kissing, making out, fluff and smut at the end.

doing this in three parts!! the first is kinda sad ish. second is cute, the last is smut.

༊*·˚

kirishima had a hard time sometimes. he was always pretty clingy. so when you would do you own thing without him he always got a little upset.

waking up in the morning to cook you breakfast just to realize you had gone to the gym. it left him with a frown on his face until you came back to his arms.

it took him a while to realize that you didn’t hate him at all, you just didn’t need his help or his company sometimes . you weren’t purposely ignoring him, you had just been ‘doing your own thing’.

it wasn’t until some nights ago that you two had been laying in bed talking and he expressed how he felt. wrapped up in his bigs arms, you could feel his chest vibrate at his words.

“babe it’s just-… i don’t know…. i love you. all i feel is love for you and sometimes i feel like you don’t want to be around me.” he confessed. you didn’t need to look at his face to see his expression. you knew his eyebrows furrowed and he was wearing a frown on his face.

“i didn’t realize. i- i. im sorry.” you felt bad but you didn’t know what to say. instead you looked up at him. his eyes didn’t meet yours, only watered eyes and a sad expression.

“oh honey.. im so so sorry.” you said while crawling up to him, holding his face.

“i just love you so much!” he sobbed grabbing you into a hug. since that moment on you silently vowed to make him feel loved and appreciated by you.

…

you and kiri had been at a club together. going with some friends. he only ever drank a little when you two went out. today you were a couple shots in, and your boyfriend was looking better than ever.

you had wandered off to the dance floor a while back with mina. swaying your hips to the music. you felt amazing. eyes were on you. departing youself to go to the bathroom you bumped into a firm man.

you didn’t know him but with the eyes he was giving you it instantly gave you the creeps. “excuse me sorry.” you said trying to move past him.

his feet met yours with quick pace, not letting you past. the action sent shivers down your spine.

“where do u think your going pretty” he said motioning his eyes all over your body. feeling absolutely gross you gave him a dirty look.

“sorry i have a boy friend.” and you tried to make your way past him again. but his hands going your body this time. one on your shoulder and the other at your waist.

“get the fuck off of me you asshole!” you pushed him backwards, now more eyes were on the two of you. your face felt flush but the lingering fight or flight was prominent.

“cmon babe i was just helping ya out..” he said while creeping his way back to you. his snicker on his face was disgusting it made you feel less than. “oh is that the boyfriend you were talking about hah” he laughed and you turned around to face kirishima. who looked more angry than you thought he would be.

“is he bothering you babe?” he asked while stepping closer to you.

“yes but i can handle it it’s fine.” you said while turning back to the imposter.

“oh you can handle me anytime sweet thing.” the suspicious man said stepping forward, closer to you then you would ever want him to be.

“fuck you.” you said before taking a knee to his private place. the man lunched forward in pain as he screamed out.

“fuck babe. remind me when i need a body guard i’ll just call u” your boyfriend laughed. kirishima new you could handle your own problems but damn, that shit was hot.

….

nsfw below

“i love you so much i can’t even explain it.” kirishima growled while pushing his big hard digits in and out of you. you moaned at the sensation. you had just got back from the club and kiri had been acting all riled up since the incident.

you couldn’t get him off you. and as soon as you got home he had picked you up and thrown you on the bed.

“fuck you were so hot today.” he moaned while watching his fingers fuck you. wet noises filled the room.

“u think me kic-king so-ah! mee guy in the balls is- is hot..?” you stuttered out, hard tot say anything with him working his fingers in and out of you like this.

“yes.” he answered without hesitation. “it’s was so hot.” he smiled while he closed in on your wet pussy. kissing it with passion he sucked on your clit.

“are you gonna cum baby?” he asked, coy with a smirk on his face.

“…noo..” you moaned out, weak. it was a lie, you were closer then you thought and he knew. he knew your body in and out weather you liked it or not.

“oh yea…?” he toyed. pushing his fingers in and out of your with much faster pace. you shook at his motion.

“oh god! kirishima!” lurching forward he pushed your legs further. while you came he spat on your pretty pussy and resumed his actions on your clit. sucking it through your orgasm.

your never going to need to change for him. that’s forsure.

i’ll add the twt link i used for inspo at the end if you guys want it. lmk!!

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:··:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

it was hard to get super creative with this one. if you want somthing else feel free to put in a similar ask i’ll totally re write or at least try

[mscherub]

What Twst characters would say based on interactions I’ve had with my friends 👍

Characters: Prefect, mainly first years, mentions of others + professor(s)

Warnings:

Swearing, mentions of drugs, rude words, yall sorry for this—

Most convos were twisted to be a little more PG…

Also, I’m a girl and most of these experiences were at school and from my pov so if they seem a little harsh, MBBBB

KEY: Prefect is what I said in the situation, Everyone else is what my friends plus others have said <3

Chaos below the cut guys, good luck—

Prefect sits down at lunch table

Ace: ew, you’re here?

Prefect pauses

Ace: I’m jokinggggg

Prefect: bitch

MC sits down at lunch table, Epel has his phone out and has a picture of Vil next to a picture of Jeffrey star

Prefect: “Shit…”

Epel: “I know, right?”

Prefect: “similarity is uncanny.”

Messaging GC

Prefect: luv u guys, Gn <3

Ace: Fuck you

Prefect: Fuck you, too, dude, smd

Ace: love*

Prefect: KYS U WHORE, and I meant to spell it that way

Sebek: everyone go to bed

Messaging Gc again

Deuce: wht arw u gya ar

Ace: what did bro say

Prefect: mans is typing in hieroglyphics

Deuce: DID U JUST XALL ME TYPIBF HEIRIGOPLDUGIS

In PE

Epel: Y’all, don’t fall, there’s water all over the—

Slips and fucking falls on his face

Prefect: BRO, nice one

Epel: fuck you

In class

Prefect: can I see your work? I promise you I won’t copy like word for word, I didn’t have time to do the assignments last night

Deuce: wait…what work?

Prefect: …

Stares at each other for a minute than nods, sighing and looking away

Jack: what does “she hawked on my tuah mean…”

Prefect: uh, maybe don’t figure that one out

Sebek: I heard in response to a phrase like that you just say, “Skibidi”

Prefect: u know what…I’m done

Prefect doing most of the group work with the first years

Ace: Thank you my trusty slave

Everyone looks at him appalled

Prefect: what…the fuck

Ace: sorry, slave

Forgetting a literal child was there

Prefect: then I said, “you’re just a carpet muncher—“

Ortho: what does that mean?

Prefect: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO, NOOOOOOOOOO, IGNORE THAT AHHHHHHH

Jack: I can’t believe you’ve done this

Ace: I hawk and I hawk and I tuah your house down

Deuce: you need to hawk tuah your way to therapy my guy

Prefect: I can agree with this

Ace: but, Prefect, aren’t you the therapist friend? Why haven’t u been helping me then…

Prefect: …

Internet goes out at school, supposed to take test online (I know Trein prefers old fashioned way but pretend for a bit…)

Trein: unfortunately we can not take the test

Everyone: Professor Trein, Trein— it’s fine, really, it’s ok :)

Prefect: eughhh, that’s a big bitch!

Points over at a guy who did ortho dirty

Prefect: eughhhh that’s a guy with a small di—

Sebek: HUMAN, DO NOT SAY SUCH TERMS, if you’d want to truly get back at him, let us go together to fight

Prefect: awww, Sebby

Some bitch is talking shit on Prefect and Jack, the relatively nice ppl of the group—

Ace: I called in reinforcements

Prefect + Jack: huh?

All house wardens proceed to come to defend yall…

Prefect: I’m…wtf, why…

Ace: they all hate that kid, too

Prefect: what—

Prefect: ALL I HAD TO DO WAS TAKE A PISS, BUT NO, I WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM AND PPL WERE SITTING IN SINKS AND IN THE STALLS SMOKING AWAY, LIKE WHAT GRADE ARE WE IN AND WE’RE DOING THIS?

Ace: that’s…rough

Prefect: I wouldn’t be surprised to walk into the bathroom one day and see someone snorting a Coke line…

Epel: nobody would be, believe me

In PE class again, everyone lines up on the line

“The fitness gram pacer test—“

Prefect: I just got war flashbacks

Jack: it’ll be fine, just breath through your nose and out through your mouth

Prefect: ITS NOT THAT EASY WTF, THATS LIKE ASKING ME TO BREATHE UNDERWATER

Prefect peacefully walking then— BAM, backpack gets pulled back by someone behind them, causing them to stumble back

Prefect: WHATTTTT

Ace: hiiii

Prefect: unhand me!

Prefect: Ace…Ace, Ace…ACEEEE!

Ace ignoring everyone

Prefect: dude…

Looks over in another direction and lies to get his attention—

Prefect: I see the bitch that u hate with the wig

Ace: WHERE?—

Sitting at lunch table, eating, cater pulls out phone and snaps pics

Prefect: wtf man

Cater: cause :)

Prefect: whatever…don’t post it on your story

Cater: :(…ok…

Does it anyways

Prefect and Grim walk in, Prefect carries Grim in arms

Prefect: how many hours of sleep are you all going off?

Ace: three

Deuce: three

Jack: three

Epel: three, don’t tell Vil

Sebek: three, as well, Human

Ortho: charged for three hours, battery levels are lower than usual…

Prefect: Oh my seven, we’re all like…twinning today!

Yayyyy

Grim slams lunch tray down which is piled with food

Prefect: dude…

Grim: I’m hungry

Ace: too hungry, clearly, ya big back

Walking back on campus back to ramshackle, wild turkeys square up around Prefect and Grim

Prefect: if this is how I die I’m not gonna be happy

Grim: I thought those were trash bags, oh well, let’s eat them

In locker room

Ace: smells like ass and chlorine

Jack: that’s oddly specific

Ace: it does tho

Epel: BE MANLY ABT IT BRUH

Ace: Kys

Epel: well damn

(Idk the context for that one)

That’s it cause I can’t think of anymore— and I know some of these weren’t that funny, BUT THEY ARE TO ME

Master List

[aller-geez]

Live, Laugh, Lose Consciousness

written & illustrated by: allergeez 🖤

Wow, geezie can write fics that AREN’T Remi or Vaelyn? I know, I’m shocked too. "૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა saw @mew31 ‘s prompt (found here) and after a lovely anon encouraged me, (love you, Nonny 🖤) this fic was born. 4.3K words with a follow up fic in progress already..... @thekinkyleopard owns Elex 🖤

The stream started like any other—well, mostly. S7en leaned back in his chair, rubbing one eye with the heel of his palm as his other hand clicked through his usual startup routine. His teal and orange hair was a little more ruffled than usual, sticking up in odd places like he’d just rolled out of bed five minutes before going live. Which, to be fair, he had.

The camera feed flickered on, revealing his usual setup: LED-lit walls casting a dim glow over his desk, a collection of figures and posters crammed haphazardly onto shelves in the background, and of course, the telltale flick of his fluffy orange tail behind him. Normally, it swayed lazily or curled in satisfaction when he was vibing, but tonight it twitched with silent irritation. Not that he acknowledged it.

S7en dragged his mic closer, exhaling through his nose before finally addressing chat.

"Alright, you motherfuckers, 1Shot9Lives here and we’re live," he muttered, voice slightly raspier than usual as he adjusted his headset. He didn’t give the change much thought. Probably just needed water. Or caffeine. Maybe both.

He clicked through a few things on his second monitor, setting up the game as his chat flooded in with their usual chaos. "We’re playing Ghost’s Gambit today because—uh, because I said so. Also, Elex bailed on our co-op stream last second, so everyone bully him when you see him."

The messages scrolled at lightning speed.

[MOD] REXBURN: u sound like shit dude

VOIDGREMLIN: bro did u sleep at all

STYXORRI: uhhh yeah S7en u good?

CATTITUDE69: u look kinda rough tonight lmao

S7en rolled his eyes, clearing his throat sharply before speaking again. "I always sound like shit, thanks. That’s my brand.” He sniffled for dramatic effect, shooting a look at chat before continuing. "Y’all need to chill. I’m fine. Let’s start."

And that was that. He powered through, ignoring the mild scratch at the back of his throat, the slight congestion creeping into his words. It was nothing. Just one of those days where talking felt rough. Nothing new.

At least, that’s what he told himself.

For a while, things went smoothly. He played through the first section of the game, making sarcastic commentary about the haunted mansion’s ridiculously dramatic soundtrack and the protagonist’s questionable life choices. But every few minutes, he had to pause to clear his throat or take a sip of his drink. The rasp in his voice wasn’t going away—it was getting worse.

Chat, of course, noticed.

GHOSTBEE: ur voice is actually breaking dude

LOSTLAMB: are u dying or

[MOD] REXBURN: drink water. now.

S7en squinted at the chat, then at his can of soda. Technically, that was liquid. Good enough. He took a swig, wincing as the carbonation stung the rawness in his throat.

He barely acknowledged chat’s growing concern, too focused on the game—or at least, that’s what he wanted them to think. In reality, he was starting to feel it. That creeping, telltale tightness in his throat, the way his words felt just slightly too rough, like they were catching on sandpaper. He swallowed, grimacing at the lingering scratch, and reached for his drink again.

But carbonation and a sore throat? Not exactly a winning combination. The first sip stung enough to make him wince, and he had to bite back a cough. He set the can down with a little more force than necessary, shaking his head. "Geezus. That was a mistake."

VOIDGREMLIN: u good there, my guy?

CATTITUDE69: literally why do u drink soda when ur voice is dying lmao

[MOD] REXBURN: I SAID WATER. WATER, DUMBASS.

S7en rolled his eyes but still didn’t move to grab anything else. Instead, he cleared his throat again—harder this time—forcing his voice back to something more manageable. "I said relax. My voice is just doing that thing where it sounds like I’ve been chain-smoking for forty years. It’s fine."

It wasn’t fine.

He knew it wasn’t fine.

His throat felt tight, raw, and somehow both dry and congested at the same time. His sinuses had started to ache—not enough to be distracting yet, but enough to be annoying. He exhaled sharply through his nose, sniffling once before refocusing on the screen.

But chat wasn’t about to let it go.

STYXORRI: Uhhhh u sound worse than u did 10 min ago???

GHOSTBEE: Does this man even have a water bottle? Blink twice if you’re being held hostage by your own bad decisions.

VOIDGREMLIN: definitely getting sick lol

S7en scoffed, dragging a hand down his face. "Okay, first of all? Rude. Second of all?—" He cut himself off with another sharp sniff, his nose twitching slightly. A brief pause, his brows pulling together like he was trying to focus on something just out of reach. Then he suddenly turned his head, breath catching in a sharp, desperate inhale.

"Hh—! Hhh! HAHPT’tschiew!! HAH! AHHDT’shiiiiew!"

The sneezes snapped him forward, harsh and congested, forcing him to duck his head into his arm at the last second. He stayed there for a beat, sniffling, before straightening up with a heavy sigh.

Chat immediately lost it.

STYXORRI: OH HE’S GONE

VOIDGREMLIN: LMAO THAT WAS WET AS HELL

[MOD] REXBURN: fucking called it. called it.

CATTITUDE69: lmao he sneezes like an anime girl

S7en groaned, rubbing a knuckle under his nose as he sniffled again. "Okay, fuck you guys. That was—ugh—that was nothin’."

Another sniff. Another irritated twitch of his nose.

Yeah. This was definitely not nothin’.

S7en barely had time to blink before his breath caught again, his whole body tensing as another sneeze clawed its way to the surface. He gasped—sharp and desperate, his head tipping back slightly before he was wrenched forward once more.

“Hh! HHhih—! HAHDT’tchhhiiew! Hhh! AHHDT’tsschueh!!”

The force of it practically shook his frame, leaving him momentarily dazed as he blinked blearily at his screen. His ears flattened slightly, tail flicking behind him in a telltale sign of irritation—whether at himself or chat, he wasn’t sure.

And chat? Chat was feral.

VOIDGREMLIN: HOLY SHIT

CATTITUDE69: BRO U GOOD?

STYXORRI: this is the sickest catboy streamer arc we’ve ever seen

[MOD] REXBURN: called it AGAIN. y’all owe me money.

S7en groaned dramatically, scrubbing at his nose with the heel of his hand. It did nothing. If anything, the congestion just laughed at his attempt at relief, settling even deeper in his sinuses like it had set up camp there permanently. He sniffled, but it was weak, ineffective. The sheer stuffiness was making his voice even raspier when he finally muttered, "You guys are the worst."

GHOSTBEE: says the guy actively sneezing himself into an early grave on stream

VOIDGREMLIN: honestly impressive at this point

CATTITUDE69: u literally sound like a dying cartoon character lmfao

S7en exhaled sharply through his nose—immediately regretting it when the movement made his breath hitch again. “Oh, fuck m—hhHh!—me.”

His hands barely got up in time before he was thrown into another sudden, wrenching sneeze.

"HH’AHPT’TSSCHIIEW!!"

The force of it made his shoulders jerk violently, ears flattening even more as he sniffled miserably into his sleeve. His brain felt like it had short-circuited. He blinked a few times, dazed, before shooting chat an exhausted, half-lidded glare. "This is your fault, by the way."

[MOD] REXBURN: how the fuck is this OUR fault

GHOSTBEE: yeah bro I don’t remember being the one rolling around in a pile of pollen or whatever the fuck u did to yourself

STYXORRI: nah he just has the immune system of a wet paper bag

VOIDGREMLIN: get wrecked, nerd

S7en opened his mouth, fully prepared to snap back at chat, but the sharp inhale that followed cut him off completely. His breath hitched—quick, frantic gasps pulling his chest upward as his nostrils flared helplessly. He was on the precipice, teetering on the edge of release, his head already tilting back as his body prepared for the inevitable.

And then—nothing.

The sensation fizzled out entirely, leaving him stranded in the worst possible limbo. His nose twitched furiously, a cruel, lingering tickle buzzing deep in his sinuses like static electricity with no release in sight. His breath wavered once more, teasing at another attempt, only to leave him stuck in place, helpless and miserable.

Chat immediately exploded.

CATTITUDE69: oh my god he’s stuck

STYXORRI: SOMEONE PUT HIM OUT OF HIS MISERY

VOIDGREMLIN: bro buffering like a dial-up connection

[MOD] REXBURN: this is just embarrassing now

S7en let out a strangled groan, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes in pure frustration. "I hate you all," he muttered, voice thick with congestion, but the heat crawling up his neck betrayed the way chat’s relentless teasing was getting to him.

He sniffled, thick and wet, scrubbing at his nose with the side of his hand in a fruitless attempt to banish the stubborn tickle. His fluffy tail flicked behind himk in irritation, but he quickly straightened up and forced a nonchalant shrug, trying to redirect the focus back to literally anything else.

"Anyway!" he rasped, voice still wrecked, but he powered through, picking up his controller again like nothing had happened. "We’re not gonna sit here and analyze my respiratory system, alright? Let’s get back to me carrying this game—since we all know I’m cracked as hell, even while dying."

He pressed a button to unpause, but his nose twitched again, a rapid series of sniffles betraying him before he could fully recover. Chat was still absolutely losing it, and he knew—he knew—they weren’t going to let him live this down.

For a while, he managed to power through. His fingers moved on autopilot across the controller, leading his character through dimly lit hallways and flickering candlelit rooms, his voice providing commentary—albeit raspier and more strained than usual. He made sure to keep the energy up, even as he had to stop every couple of minutes to sniffle or swipe a knuckle under his nose.

If he ignored it, it wasn’t happening. That was the rule.

But his throat was starting to itch. Not just a little tickle, not just something he could clear away—it was deep, an irritating scratch that no amount of swallowing or subtle throat-clearing could shake.

Still, he tried.

"Ahem." He coughed lightly into his fist, barely audible over the game’s ominous soundtrack.

Chat noticed immediately.

VOIDGREMLIN: bro you’re actually falling apart rn

GHOSTBEE: is it me or is he literally getting worse every five minutes

CATTITUDE69: cough once if you’re dying, cough twice if ur in denial

[MOD] REXBURN: just grab some water before you get stuck like that forever

S7en rolled his eyes, but his ears gave him away. The orange, tufted tips had started to sag, drooping ever so slightly as the irritation in his sinuses and throat mounted. He sniffled sharply, forcing himself to sit up a little straighter as if better posture would somehow help.

"Y’all are dramatic," he muttered, his voice definitely dipping further into hoarseness, but he just forced a cough and kept playing.

The itch in his throat lingered. It crept deeper, settling into his chest like a slow burn, and he knew—he knew—that if he wasn’t careful, he was gonna start coughing for real. He muttered another useless, half-hearted cough, barely suppressing a grimace when it rattled weakly in his lungs.

God, his eyes were getting blurry.

His vision kept swimming, the words on screen harder to focus on as his slitted pupils narrowed in an attempt to adjust. He blinked quickly, rubbing at his face with the palm of his hand to chase away the moisture gathering in the corners of his eyes.

He knew the solution. He just really didn’t want to grab his damn glasses.

It wasn’t even about comfort—they just made him look nerdy, and not in a cool, hot-guy-who-reads way, but in an I’m-an-insufferable-know-it-all way. Not a look he was going for.

Still, his ears flicked back, half-pinned against his head as he tried to ignore the way his vision kept going fuzzy around the edges.

This was fine. Totally fine.

He just had to hold out a little longer.

S7en blinked hard, rubbing at his temple with the heel of his hand as the dull ache behind his eyes slowly tightened its grip. His brightly lit screen wasn’t helping. The artificial glow pressed against his already blurry vision, and he caught himself squinting just to make out the text at the bottom of the screen. His ears twitched, then flicked backward slightly in irritation.

Still, he kept his usual energy up.

“Well, this guy’s an idiot,” he quipped as his in-game character opened a door that was very obviously a trap. “Yeah, lemme just step into the most ominous room possible, what could possibly go wrong—OH okay, yep, cool, immediate ghost attack. Love that.”

Chat scrolled fast, a mix of reactions ranging from LMAOOO to we tried to warn you to bro is squinting so hard right now, grab the damn glasses.

S7en ignored them.

He wasn’t even in that bad of shape, really. Sure, his throat felt like sandpaper and his nose was definitely trying to ruin his night, but he’d gotten through worse. He just needed to push through a little longer, keep the energy up, keep—

CLOUDHOPPER24: DUDE, hop on ESO, let’s run some dungeons.

S7en scoffed. “Yeah, no—”

STYXORRI: WAIT YES ESO TIME

VOIDGREMLIN: oh my god yes dungeon run let’s goooo

GHOSTBEE: don’t be lame get in nerd

[MOD] REXBURN: you’re outnumbered bro, just give in

S7en huffed, dragging a hand down his face before reluctantly exhaling through his nose. He already knew there was no getting out of this. The second chat got attached to an idea, they latched onto it like leeches.

"Fine,” he sighed, feigning great suffering as he exited his current game. “But if we’re playing ESO, I have to get my glasses or I’m not gonna be able to read shit.”

Chat didn’t seem to mind…

CATTITUDE69: GLASSES ARC LET’S GOOOOO

VOIDGREMLIN: nerdification incoming

STYXORRI: I REPEAT WE ARE ENTERING THE GLASSES ERA

He rolled his eyes but smirked slightly, peeling his headset off and pushing his chair back from the desk.

Before stepping away, he quickly pressed the mute button on his mic—at least, he thought he did.

His nose was still running. He sniffled thickly, pressing the heel of his palm against his septum before finally giving in and grabbing a tissue from the box on his desk. He tried to be discreet, turning away slightly as he blew his nose, but the sound was way thicker and wetter than he anticipated—loud, congested, a full-on mess.

And apparently, his sinuses were not ready to be cleared out all at once.

A maddening itch flared to life deep inside his nasal passages, raw and unrelenting. His breath caught, his chest stuttering through sharp, gasping build-ups as the sneeze took its time wrecking him.

“Hhh—! HhhAHH—! HAHDT’tchhhiew!! Hhh! AHHDT’tschhhiu!!"

The force rocked him forward, leaving him dazed for half a second before the itch surged right back up.

"Hhh! HAH—hhAHDT'shhiiew!!"

He sniffled hard, rubbing his nose roughly with his palm before finally slumping forward against the desk, exhaling sharply. God, that was miserable. But at least it was out.

Clearing his throat, he shook his head, grabbed his glasses from the shelf, and finally slid back into his chair. He adjusted the frames on his nose, pressed the power button on the monitor—

—and was immediately greeted by absolute chaos in the chat.

S7en’s brain took a solid three seconds to process what he was looking at.

The chat was moving so fast it was practically a blur. His orange ears twitched, then pressed flat against his head as he stiffened in realization.

CLOUDHOPPER24: BROOO WE HEARD ALL OF THAT

VOIDGREMLIN: THAT WAS UNHOLY

GHOSTBEE: unmute challenge (failed)

[MOD] REXBURN: you absolute dumbass.

CATTITUDE69: I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA DIE FOR A SECOND LMAOOO

STYXORRI: new ringtone just dropped

S7en blinked.

“…What?”

That was all he could manage.

VOIDGREMLIN: LMAOOOO HE DOESN’T KNOW

STYXORRI: MY GUY. MY DUDE. YOU LEFT YOUR MIC ON.

GHOSTBEE: THE WHOLE THING. LIVE. UNFILTERED. IN HD.

[MOD] REXBURN: chat has been enlightened by the ancient knowledge of your waifu-esque sneezes.

S7en paled. His hand shot up to check his mic settings, only for his stomach to drop when he saw it. The mute button was still unpressed.

No.No. No. No.

Slowly, he turned his gaze back to chat, his tail flicking erratically behind him.

“…You guys heard that?…”

STYXORRI: YUP.

CLOUDHOPPER24: EVERY SINGLE SECOND.

VOIDGREMLIN: including the part where you DIED midway through the buildup

CATTITUDE69: top ten tragic anime deaths

GHOSTBEE: bro got done in by his own sinuses

[MOD] REXBURN: bro you took, like, a FULL ten seconds to die

S7en groaned, dragging his hands down his face. “Oh, my god.”

He was never going to live this down.

His head thunked against the desk in pure, unfiltered misery. “This is literally the worst day of my life,” he muttered into the woodgrain, voice muffled.

STYXORRI: no, this is the best day of OUR lives

VOIDGREMLIN: actual best content we’ve ever gotten from you, 10/10

CATTITUDE69: sneeze tier list when

GHOSTBEE: top ten streams that changed history

S7en groaned again, lifting his head just enough to glare at his screen. His nose twitched, still red and visibly irritated.

“You’re all the worst,” he sniffled, rubbing his knuckles under his nose as he slumped back in his chair. “Swear to god, I could die on stream and you’d just clip it.”

[MOD] REXBURN: correct.

CLOUDHOPPER24: exactly. that’s what the clip button is for.

STYXORRI: ‘local streamer perishes in real time, audience eats popcorn’

VOIDGREMLIN: ‘thoughts and prayers (clipped for later)’

S7en huffed, shaking his head as he reached for his controller, ears still half-flattened in lingering embarrassment. “Remind me why I stream, again?” he grumbled, clicking through the ESO title screen.

But even as chat continued to roast him mercilessly, he couldn’t quite stop the tiny, amused smirk that tugged at the corner of his lips.

S7en settled into his chair, rolling his shoulders back in an attempt to shake off the stiffness creeping into his muscles. The chat scrolled rapidly beside him, a chaotic mix of mocking comments, dramatic sympathy, and the occasional unsolicited health advice. He skimmed over it absently, only half-registering the words as he adjusted his headset.

“Alright, alright, let’s get this over with,” he muttered, loading into the game. His voice was rougher now, a rasping undertone slipping in that hadn’t been there at the start of the stream. He cleared his throat sharply, but it only aggravated the scratchiness, sending a brief, irritated shudder down his spine.

The dungeon queue popped, and as the loading screen flickered, he exhaled slowly through his nose, trying to steady himself. It didn’t help. His sinuses were a mess of static, an unbearable, crawling sensation burrowing deep behind his septum. He pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, willing the feeling away, but it only grew stronger, teasing at the edges of his control.

The dungeon started, and S7en forced himself to refocus. He tightened his grip on the controller and sent his character charging into battle—only to immediately regret it. His timing was off. His dodges felt sluggish. His fingers barely seemed to respond to his brain’s commands. He sniffled sharply, but even that felt like it took effort.

This was fine.

He could push through.

Except—he was already pushing too hard. And his body? It was beginning to push back.

His fingers fumbled over the controls, barely registering the vibrations in the controller as his character staggered from another mistimed dodge. The edges of his vision blurred slightly, the bright colors of the game screen bleeding together, making it harder to track what was happening. The chat continued to roll, but he could only make out scattered words between the rising noise in his head—something about him playing like shit, a few half-serious “get well soon” messages, and Rexar demanding he take a damn break.

S7en ignored them.

Or, at least, he tried to.

The static in his sinuses had evolved into something sharper, a deep, pulsing itch winding its way from the bridge of his nose down into his throat, clawing at his lungs. He sucked in a careful breath through his mouth, but it only made the irritation worse, sending a raw prickle skittering down his airways. His ears twitched in frustration before flattening again, his tail curling tightly against the back of his chair.

“hHh—! hh—! HAHHDT’tchhIEEW!!”

The sneeze tore through him without warning, snapping him forward so fast his headphones nearly slipped from his head. He barely had time to catch his breath before another struck—"HhHAPTT’tchhiEW!!"—leaving him dazed, blinking against the sudden dampness in his eyes.

A quick glance at chat told him all he needed to know. They were already losing their minds.

“Dude, shut up,” he croaked, scrubbing a sleeve under his nose before sniffing sharply, only to regret it immediately when his breath hitched again. He groaned, dropping his forehead against the edge of his desk, gripping the controller weakly in one hand.

This was bad.

His head was thick with congestion, the weight of exhaustion settling into his limbs like lead. Every movement felt sluggish, every blink heavier than the last. He sniffled again, but it barely did anything, his sinuses clogged beyond saving.

S7en was losing it.

Not just in the game—though, yeah, that too—but in general.

His entire body felt like it was made of damp cement, each movement slower than the last. His reactions were sluggish, his dodges mistimed, his attacks weak. He knew he should have been moving—ESO dungeon bosses weren’t that hard—but every time he tried to focus, his head swam, a dull, pulsing ache pressing against the backs of his eyes like someone had wedged cotton into his skull.

His ears remained half-down, twitching every so often when the congestion shifted in his sinuses. He was hyper-aware of everything—the scratchy dryness spreading through his throat, the constant, prickling tickle that bloomed behind his nose and refused to either build or dissipate, the way his nostril chain swayed whenever he sniffled, brushing against the irritated skin of his nose and making everything so much worse—

He was also hyper-aware of chat absolutely clowning on him for standing in yet another AoE.

VOIDGREMLIN: bro. MOVE.

STYXORRI: S7EN. YOU ARE LITERALLY DYING.

CLOUDHOPPER24: I’ve never seen someone eat this much damage in my life.

GHOSTBEE: watching him tank this boss like he’s a healer main is making me sweat.

[MOD] REXBURN: you are getting bullied in a video game. please pull it together.

S7en sniffled, slumping forward slightly in his chair as his character hit the floor again. His hand lifted sluggishly, rubbing at his pink-rimmed nostrils with the back of his hand before his tail flicked in frustration.

“Tch… shut the fuck up, you all suck so much dick it’s not even funny.” he muttered, voice rough and hoarse. He cleared his throat again, trying to chase away the itch, but all that did was send him into a brief fit of unproductive, breathless coughs.

The chat immediately jumped on him.

CATTITUDE69: nuh UH what was that.

VOIDGREMLIN: ?? HELLO??

STYXORRI: sir. sir you are literally dying live on air.

[MOD] REXBURN: LOG OFF.

S7en ignored them, waving a lazy hand at the screen as he tried—and failed—to get his character back to the fight in time. His vision blurred slightly, and he blinked hard, trying to refocus, but it only made his sinuses throb. His breathing was getting shallower, his chest starting to ache in a way he really didn’t want to think about.

Then, just as the dungeon boss was finally, finally defeated, his entire world was shaken—literally—by the front door slamming open.

“Yo, I’m home—what the fuck are you still doing awake?”

S7en physically cringed.

His fluffy orange ears pinned flat against his skull as he slowly turned his head, as if that would somehow make him seem less guilty.

Elex stood in the doorway, arms crossed, staring him down like he was a parent catching their kid sneaking an energy drink at 2 AM. His dark green brows furrowed slightly, his mismatched eyes scanning him for a second before narrowing further.

S7en knew that look.

That was the you look like shit look.

He groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Calm down, I’b—hh—! hhHAHPT’tSCHHhhuue!!!!”

The sneeze absolutely wrecked him. His already weak frame pitched forward with the force of it, his headset nearly slipping off as he ducked down into his sleeve. His breath barely had time to hitch before another one overtook him.

“hH! HAHDT’tschhhiuuue!!”

The second left him dazed. He sniffled thickly, blinking blearily as his ears drooped even lower.

Elex just stared.

“…Uh huh. Yeah. No. You’re done,” he announced, marching over without hesitation.

“Dude, I’b fide—“

“You’re not fine.” Elex cut him off, reaching around him and—without a second thought—closed the game.

S7en gawked. “EXCUSE ME—”

Chat, meanwhile, lost their minds.

STYXORRI: EL EX JUST STRAIGHT UP LOGGED HIM OUT LMAOOOO

VOIDGREMLIN: nah bc that’s actually so funny

[MOD] REXBURN: thank fuck, finally.

CLOUDHOPPER24: you have been evicted from the internet.

Elex turned to the screen, squinting at the chat before promptly leaning in and—click—ending the stream entirely.

S7en could only sit there, stunned.

“…Okay, rude.” He sniffled, rubbing his nose against his sleeve again. His voice was wrecked, all rough edges and stuffy vowels.

Elex huffed, eyes still sharp but softening just slightly as he took in the way S7en’s ears stayed pinned, how his shoulders drooped with exhaustion, how his breaths were already starting to wheeze.

“…How bad is it?” he asked, quieter this time.

S7en hesitated.

And for the first time that night, he didn’t have the energy to lie.

“…Bad.”

The end~

[mars-ipan]

sometimes i’m like “i should probably work on my tendency to take it to the grave when i have feelings for people that are stronger than standard friendship” and then i imagine telling someone i have a squish on them and i immediately change my mind

[magpie-trove]

Straight up not having a good time in Dream Thieves lads

[crossbackpoke-check]

Dysprosium, Mary Soon Lee

dysprosium, AN 66, is a silvery-white rare earth metal. its name is derived from the greek dysprositos, meaning “hard to get at”, owing to the difficulty in separating and isolating this rare earth element. dysprosium is used to measure neutron flux, to fuel reactors, and to activate phosphors. terfenol-d is a magnetorestrictive alloy, meaning that it changes shape when a magnetic field is applied, and is used to manufacture underwater acoustic systems.

jason “robo” robertson, dallas stars #21 for @simmyfrobby’s nhl periodic table poems <3

[pathesis]

It's pride month & I wanted to make a post saying something to any teens or people feeling really conflicted about religion and their sexuality bc it's something I really wish I could've heard growing up. I firmly believe whatever may be the creator of everything, either a God or nothing at all. Whatever it is would not hate u solely on the fact that you have had a same sex relationship. Surely they would know there's more serious shit going on. As a Christian and a Bi woman who has dated Men & Women please just be urself and love yourself. Don't worry about whether being gay/Bi/ Trans/Poly whatever makes you feel whole is right or not. Whatever awaits us at the end of the universe will judge you by your heart not the love you found during the journey.

[cowboy-robooty]

not going to name names bc thats messed up but omfg i was tryna find records of old heta fandom shit to show inu right and i found a hetalia iceberg and I SAW MY 2019 OPP ON THERE. IT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY LIKE MY EYES BULGED OUT OF MY SKULL BECAUSE IM NOT EVEN JOKING I HATED THIS BITCH SO MUCH WHEN I WAS 14 AND NGL I STILL HATE HER. I DIDNT SAY NOTHING AND KEPT CURTIOUS AND NORMAL OBVIOUSLY BUT ON THE INSIDE I WANTED HER ASS DEAD EVERYDAY AND WELL... you all know im never in the loop with things and had no fucking clue that she was just the antichrist for an entire group of people lol. SHE WAS MY ANTICHRIST THO. I HATED HER AND SHE HATED ME OKAY AND IM LIKE RODF SEEING HOW SHES ON THE FUCKING HETALIA ICEBERG I WAS LIKE OMG.... I THOUGHT ONLY I FUCKING DESPISED HER

[p4nishers]

can we actually take a moment and remember swan upon leda? can we actually shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down and think about our lord and savior swan upon leda because i'm tired of doing it alone every single day guys

[instantpansies]

and honestly, can i even call myself an artist? or a musician? when i have never had the passion or the dedication to work until ive mastered the techniques and honed my eyes and ears and connected with the paper and the piano? i dont want to do this forever. my art is only sometimes meaningful, my music is only sometimes moving. i am stranded in the space between obsession and apathy. if i think about what i will become i get nauseous. i'm no performer not really, the talent the teachers and relatives all pointed to is good, certainly, but not juilliard good. not concert pianist good. not international gallery good. and that's okay, you know? i don't need to be the best there's ever been. but i want to at least be good at something. jack of all trades master of none better than a master of one but i don't know, sometimes it would be nice to say i want to be a master of this. i want to devote my life to this. i won't get tired of this and grow to hate it. will i teach children piano in five years? will i spark in them an unwavering drive for music if i never felt it myself? how can i call myself a professional, how can i identify with my field of study, when i can't even promise to love it? and when my mentors say you have to be willing to devote yourself to the study, you have to be able to work at one small piece one tiny detail until it's beautiful, you have to become part of your instrument and never practice in front of people, never perform like you don't know what you're doing, never call your work good enough before you have wrung every drop of artistry out of it. when they say all that, i feel nothing but guilt. not motivation, not passion for the study. just another thing i can see in my future, another job i'll like enough but only be adequate at, another field i'll have proficiency in--but not mastery, never mastery. jack of all trades master of none better than a master of one but when they ask me what do you live for i cannot tell them

[girlivealwaysbean]

i hate getting gifts because first of all are you trying to buy me make me feel obligated to you so I feel the need to be polite and sweet to you all the time and secondly once you inevitably leave what the fuck am i supposed to do with them

[secondpersonpoetry]

hi! oh my goodness. i am SO sorry i didn’t say anything earlier. i did read everything a couple days ago, and i Have been chewing on it, rotating it in my mind, etc etc…..and the graphic has been my phone lockscreen since i first read it!!!!!

frankly i am obsessed and have also been a little frazzled this month lol. saw your post late because of the general whirlwind that is december and then couldn’t quite get my thoughts into sufficient words n got worried “oh no would it be weird to say something now…..” which is incredibly silly in retrospect, so sorry for that. 

i’m relatively new to hockey fandom and the Narratives don’t always quite click for me (yet, at least :)) because i don’t know all of the lore for a lot of the popular pairings haha, so it means a lot that you’ve taken time out of your day to break things down for me and share your own thoughts <3 tysm. again, super sorry for the delayed response. i’m very sorry if you felt as though you’d wasted your time or something along those lines :’) just wanted to let you know that i really appreciate you and the time it took you to get everything down and make the graphic!!!! and like i can’t overstate how much your tags both over here and on your other blog have helped me to Get It since the start of this season, so thank you.

but now the house is quiet, the in-laws are gone, and no new work stuff until january :) so i can finally get some stuff down. every point you brought up hits in it own way but gosh you are very incredibly right the mcstrome of it all…..that’s sort of the lens i’ve been listening to the song through since you mentioned it.

the golden boy and the “draft bust” and the ever present notion of “isn’t it all about old friends? like everything? all of it?”.  like idk looking back on a bestfriendship from when you were a teenager that was Super intense and the lines were blurred and maybe realizing (if you hadn’t had the words or the “guts” or awareness or wtv to put a name to it at that point in your life) that y’all were a smidge more than just friends. 

best friends forever until you just aren’t! growing up and growing apart. it’s just the way things go but it can and will ache for a damn long time! you think you’re over it until their birthday or the holidays roll around and you wonder in a distant sort of way who they’re spending it with. what you would’ve hypothetically gotten them as a present if you still spoke. what do they even like nowadays, anyway?

maybe having the friendship end subtly. going from playing and traveling together and living in one another’s pockets to 2,080 miles of distance? (i may have my timeline/details confused here so sorry in advance) texting as much as you can at first but he’s a phenom he’s mcjesus he’s the next in line he’s expected to win the cup with his new team and end the drought for Canada. and they have him now but he was yours first, wasn’t he? but it’s fine. because you’re busy too. you’re captaining the team now. you’re gonna get the memorial cup that he couldn’t. it’s fine. you’re fine. you don’t even have time to worry about it anyway. 

one conversation a week turns to one a month turns to once in a blue moon turns to stale words until it goes cold. these days you can’t quite seem to remember who ended things, but does it really matter all that much now?

or maybe it doesn’t end like that at all. maybe it ends in a flurry of angry words and digs in some or other of the endless hotel rooms you’ve shared together over the years. who knows!

and that’s not even getting into the rest of the 2015 draft class. or the ld19 of it all! ooh hoo hoo. you grew up with him but he’s not your waiting room. he grew up with you but he’ll grow “old” (end his career) with someone else. and isn’t that just something! 

i don’t think it’s totally them, but sort of the sentiment of “I hope you get everything you ever wanted and I hope I never hear a word about it.” I want one ticket off of your carousel!!!! merry christmas, please don’t call!!!!!!!

dylan being sent up and down and traded around until finally landing in washington, a place where he is clearly at home and LOVED for the guy and player he is!!!!!!!! watching a game and seeing all the strome jerseys in the crowd……..wagh.

all that said. some other songs that are mcstrome to me in various ways: hot & heavy by lucy dacus (lol kinda the whole song). before the world was big by girlpool (“i just miss how it felt standing next to you wearing matching [jerseys? sweaters?] before the world was big”). happiness by Taylor swift (“i guess it’s the price i pay for seven years in heaven”), cut your bangs by radiator hospital (maybe? possibly? unsure. i like the whole dog thing there). i’m so glad i feel this way about you by insignificant other (!!!!!). there are so many THEM lyrics in there……..waough.

anyway. other things off the top of my head: 2015 connor specifically saying something like “hey let’s wait a minute so we can see this” to stand by the stage when dylan was getting drafted after him. MAN. you reminded me of the fact that they couldn’t even make eye contact at the handshake line!!!!!!!!! they didn’t go to each other’s weddings!!!!!!!!!! (do you think once upon a time they ever thought they’d being each other’s best man?). just a couple months ago dylan liking the tweet of connor getting that goal during the playoffs!!!!!!!! makes you wonder if he texted him………..

lol this was all over the place and i was probably wrong on some things and there’s SO much more that someone else could say way more eloquently, but i digress. i dunno everything about them is so nuts to me!!!!! needless to say i will be incredibly sat for the game january 21 🙂‍↕️

thank you again for your time :) hope you have a good one and a happy rest of the holiday season! <3333333

what a lovely message to receive 🥰😭🥹 i had to break it up into chunks because i couldn't sit down to read all of it at once without just. bouncing right back up and shrieking. i am also at heart terribly shy so i understand the struggle but it is never too late to say something <3 you are always welcome here

first!!! i love sharing!! i think most of hockey tumblr loves to see people finding out the Lore for the first time and the wonderful thing about hockey is that. it keeps going on. so there's years and years and generations and generations and always something new to learn about. i've learned to just not be afraid to ask!!! between different teams and players i'm always discovering new narratives (learning about the sharks old man yaoi rn... cbj rarepairs...)

no... to my heart's despair... you have the timeline right. i think in the best most tragic sense there's a mcstrome narrative where it is truly that nothing went wrong. the love was there. we couldn't do enough to save it because we didn't see it slipping away. i didn't notice when you didn't call until you never did. i don't know you now but i still remember when i did, do you?

HE'S NOT YOUR WAITING ROOM?? passing out. i do see "i hope you get everything you ever wanted and i hope i never hear a word about it" as them because!! they didn't go to each other's weddings!!! i don't wish you harm but i'm not going to put myself through that!! i hope you're happy and i'm never going to look on purpose.

i love dylan strome so much and the best part is that they all love him so much too. he wore a cool vintage ovechkin jacket!! and got slapped in the face with a tortilla!! he loves to gently rag on the rookies!! it just takes some time, everything'll be just fine. you're only on the middle of the ride.

OKAY WHEN I READ THIS PART I SCREAMED BECAUSE I DO HAVE A MCSTROME PLAYLIST AND!!!! HOT & HEAVY BY LUCY DACUS IS IN FACT ON IT!!! SO IS CUT YOUR BANGS (BUT BY GIRLPOOL SO DOUBLE JINX)!!!! i have dorothea by taylor swift on there but i don't know happiness so i'll have to give all the other songs a listen. mostly i just shrieked because i was like NO YOU GOT THE VIBES EXACTLY

🧠〰️🧠 truly the mind meld happening here. the handshake line. the mutual wedding non-invitations. i won't block your number or your name on twitter i just hope i don't see it come up on screen!! i do think that we got confirmation the last time they played each other that dylan did text him to say congrats on a milestone but i would have to check the archives

p.s. i think you said it perfectly eloquently :) what matters is that you said it at all and i was delighted to read it 💕

[nightfallsystem-moved]

u guys ever think about killing urself for everyone elses sake.

just so people wont have to go thru the annoyance of talking to me or the disgust of seeing my face so they can be happier by talking to their other friends instead of me so they dont have to deal with my actual fucking stupidity