#I just think they also deserve to be happy sometimes
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Ain't No Sense In Closing The Gate
Tyler Owens x Reader One-Shot
Word Count: 1.2K Warnings: Angst
Author's Note: My mom made me watch Twisters and all I know is that I want to bang Glen Powell like a door in a tornado. Enjoy.
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She sat at the bar, nursing the glass of brandy that seemed to mock her with every swirl of amber. Laughter and conversation flowed behind her, but she sat with her back to it, more focused on the lull of liquid. She tugged her hat down lower over her furrowed brows, a stemming anger and yearning ache in her chest that seemed to rise like bile in her throat every time she heard his laughter echo from the pool table. She’d been so stupid. So foolish to spend all this time chasing him when he’d never even noticed, hell, she hadn’t even noticed until he’d found greener pastures.
“Can I sit with you?”
She looked up, barely managing to suppress the scowl when she saw Kate standing there.
“Yeah,” she muttered, gesturing vaguely to the stool beside her, and watched as Kate sat down and ordered a gin and tonic.
They sat in silence for a few moments, neither really wanting to engage with each other until Kate cleared her throat and admitted, “I get the feeling that you don’t like me very much.”
“It’s not for a lack of trying,” she replied, taking a sip of her brandy, then sat her drink down. “I don’t like you,” she added. “But not for the reasons you think I do.”
Kate’s brows furrowed. “Did I do something to you that made you not like me?”
“No.”
“…then why?”
Laughter peeled from the pool table and they both looked over, watching as Tyler put Boone in a headlock and noogied him. It suddenly hit Kate at that moment and she looked down at the bar.
“Oh…” was all she murmured.
It made her blood boil.
“Don’t do that shit,” she scowled. “God, it’s so fucking annoying when—just,” she inhaled and exhaled. “It’s fine. He deserves to be happy. You both do.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Kate,” she interrupted and looked at her beneath that big Texas brim. “I’ve spent my entire life chasing Tyler Owen’s heart. I’ve done everything I ever thought would make him look at me the way it took you literal days to make him look at you.” She let out a heavy sigh. “I don’t hate you. But I can’t say I’m fond of you either.”
Kate pursed her lips and nodded. “For what it’s worth…I think the two of you would be beautiful together.”
“Thanks,” she muttered with a sardonic smile. “But I’d rather him be with you.”
“Why?” she asked. “I thought…”
“I do, but I also recognize when a man’s heart is truly set on something. And…” she looked at Kate, really looked at her, the way her eyes were gentle, nothing like her own, hardened from years of chasing storms and steering cattle. “He needs a woman like you.” She sipped her brandy again. “I know when a horse needs to run. Ain’t no reason in closing the gate.”
Kate felt her own heart ache for the woman’s heartbreak. “I don’t know if it makes a difference, but I would like to be friends with you.” She didn’t let the woman’s arched brow and seemingly look of disgust deter her. “You’re amazing. And gorgeous. And funny, and—”
“Careful, Kate,” she murmured. “Making me think you’re into me too.”
Kate’s laughter bubbled from her without realizing it as her cheeks dusted pink.
She smiled tightly. “Keep him in line, yeah?” she asked, sliding a twenty on the bar before she downed the rest of her brandy and stood from the bar.
“Wait, what do you mean?” Kate replied, turning on the stool. “Aren’t you coming with us?”
“Nah,” she said. “I’ve gotta go home.”
Kate’s expression saddened. “I don’t want you to leave because of me,” she expressed. “Really, I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m not,” she answered. “But…I’m getting to old to be chasing storms, men…” she reached out and placed a hand on Kate’s shoulder. “Sometimes, it’s best to listen when home is calling.”
As she pulled away, Kate hurriedly reached out and took her hand. “Will you ever come back?” she tried for a hopeful smile. “We’ll…we’ll all miss you.”
She nodded. “Maybe a visit or two in a few years, yeah?”
Kate nodded and let her hand go, watching as she weaved through the patrons of the bar, not stopping to say goodbye to the others as she disappeared through the wooden doors and into the parking lot.
***
She re-adjusted the duffel bag in the back of her black Dodge, setting it snugly behind her seat before she pushed the front back, dropped her hat in the driver’s seat, and stood straight. Her eyes drifted up to the stars above in the Oklahoma sky. It was practically the same clear view she saw back South, no clouds, no pollution, just bright stars blinking back at her.
“Leaving without saying goodbye?”
His voice startled her and she jumped a bit as she looked back, watching Tyler walk over to her.
“Road’s long to the mountains,” she said, tugging on the Carhart sweatshirt over her head.
Tyler smiled at her. “That it is. Ten hours, right?”
She looked at him. “What do you want, Tyler?”
His gaze turned solemn and he stepped up to her. “You’re leaving because of me.”
“Now that’s the most egotistical BS I’ve ever heard you say,” she laughed. “And I’ve heard you be egotistical before.”
“Pretty girl,” he started lowly, and she felt her insides melt before she inhaled sharply.
“Tyler, stop.”
“No, I want—”
“It doesn’t matter, okay,” she said. “It’s okay.”
He frowned, feet shifting in the dirt of the parking lot. “I didn’t know.”
“You did,” she replied. “You just…wished you didn’t.”
His gaze met hers. “I never meant to hurt you, pretty girl.” He reached up, knuckles gently grazing her cheek and she knew in her heart this was the only love she’d ever get from the man in the way she wanted.
She blinked furiously at the tears in her eyes and, unable to stop herself, leaned into his touch. “I know,” she whispered, throat tight with unspoken affection and desire.
Tyler took another step towards her, cupping her cheek in his hand.
“Tyler,” she stressed and he let out a low hum deep in his throat as he brushed his nose against hers.
“Let me,” he whispered in that smooth drawl. “Let me make it better.”
“Please, don’t,” she begged. “Tyler, please,” tears dampened her lashes. “Don’t do this to me.” She felt his lips almost brush against hers. “Tyler, I’m not…I won’t be strong enough to let go if you do.”
His jaw tightened, muscle twitching as he pressed his forehead into hers, and exhaled slowly. “Okay,” he said softly. “Okay, pretty girl.” He pulled back enough to look into her eyes, his own a mix of regret and pain. “Text me when you get home?”
She swallowed hard and nodded, every fiber in her screaming as she pulled herself away from him. “I will.”
He watched as she climbed into her truck, the window rolled down and he stepped up to it. “Will you ever come back?” he smiled sadly. “Awfully lonely without you chasing with us.”
With me.
Her eyes met his once more as she roared the engine to life. “So long, cowboy,” she mused and rolled the window up, leaving him in a whirl of dust.
#tyler owens x reader#tyler owens x reader imagines#tyler owens x reader imagine#tyler owens imagines#tyler owens imagine#tyler owens#twisters 2024#twisters#twisters imagine
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sodapop patrick curtis thoughts on my desk by the end of the week or ur DONE /j
How I feel about this character
Uh like he’s perfect and should be my wife i think
Nah but fr Soda’s one of my favorite characters ever. He’s sweet and all, but he’s so much more than that. Pony says he’s movie-star handsome, that he can go from gentle one minute to “blazing with anger” the next, that he gets drunk just on living, and understands everybody. Soda’s a Kerouac-style “mad one”- “mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes Awww!”
He’s a guy who’s sensitive but strong, a “bawl baby” who’s tough, he’s probably got ADHD and dyslexia, the school system failed him. His folks died and left him holding his brothers together by a thread. He’s pretty but not pretty enough for Sandy to stay. He might end up dying in Vietnam, and thank God that isn’t canon, but it’s still there. He’s happy to live life simply, behind a white picket fence with a wife and kids- hell, he’s thrilled to. But that’s not gonna happen, at least not for a while, because Soda is a tragedy. But he loves his brothers and his friends so much that he becomes a beacon of hope despite it all.
I love Soda. Honestly, this barely scratches the surface of how I feel about him. I haven’t even touched on the adrenaline junkie stuff or the ways he’s sometimes so relatable to me that it hurts.
All the people I ship romantically with this character
Steve, and sometimes Evie.
I’ve found I’m a friends-to-lovers enjoyer, so Stevepop scratches that part of my brain lol. To have someone who’s got your back through thick and thin, aware of your flaws but in spite of them- well, ain’t that the dream? The angst of it being the 60s makes it interesting to me too, because there’s a lot of ways to handle that. Man, when I first read the book I didn’t get the hype for them at all, but idk. It clicked. I get it now.
And then Steviepop is my roman empire lol. It’s all I love about Stevepop, but Evie adds even more complexity. I like her a lot and I love writing her, and I love writing her with characters who I also love. There is absolutely no canon anything to back this ship up. But dammit that’s the point of fandom.
I will say though that I like exploring Soda’s dynamic with Sandy, but I don’t really ship them. I think the fact that Sandy left him (and I mean cheated on him, even if that can be read ambiguously) implies that there’s something about him that could be undesirable, romantically. I don’t mean cheating is good or that people deserve it, just that in this case, the idea that Soda’s an imperfect boyfriend adds layers to a character who is mostly just positives. We’ll never know Sandy’s POV on it, and I don’t think Soda will either. Sandypop to me will never have closure. That’s what makes it hurt so much. That’s what makes it relatable
My non-romantic OTP for this character
I mean honestly? Steve. I know this isn’t really fair, since I like Stevepop and all, but idk, there’s no one else who I think it could be.
Steve’s a character who’s cocky and troubled and prone to assholeish-ness, but even he loves Soda. He knows about Sandy and gets angry on Soda’s behalf at Pony for mentioning her, which means Soda can tell him- angry, tough Steve Randle- about sensitive stuff. And Soda, who I think is a little in love with everyone he meets and could have anyone he wants, sees this bastard and sticks with him. He sees the parts of Steve that Pony can’t. Parts that make him worthy of being his best buddy.
It’s been said before, but no matter how you look at it, romantic or platonic, they’re each other’s person. I don’t think I could put anyone else in this slot.
My unpopular opinion about this character
I have a few lol.
1- I see a lotta fics and takes where the whole “drunk on living” thing is a lie Soda feeds Ponyboy, and while I like that take, I do also think it’s totally possible and even plausible that Soda really doesn’t drink and Pony’s view of him (in that aspect) is right.
I dunno, I mean, I know firsthand what it’s like to just get drunk on adrenaline/excitement. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug, and the rush from it is better than any other high I’ve had. Thrill rides make me act as stupid as someone drinking- when I’m excited, I lose all ability to filter thoughts or fight impulses. I’ve done all sorts of dumb moves- climbing onto tables, singing loudly without knowing or caring if it bothers people, play-fighting my buddies so hard we both get genuinely injured, standing up in a convertible going down the freeway... (This is obviously anecdotal and not real evidence or anything, but like, duh. This is an opinion piece lol.)
I guess what I’m saying is that there’s a lot of interesting things that can still be done with a Soda who genuinely doesn’t drink. (Or at least not much.)
2- I love darker takes on Soda. I love when people dig into his addictive personality, his temper, his relationship with his looks/self image, all that stuff. I love his flaws, and I especially love when they co-exist with his earnest sweetness and genuine sensitivity. In a few of my fics, I’ve explored some slightly darker Sodas- Sodas who are impulsive, pent up, semi-narcissistic and occasionally manipulative. I haven’t delved deep into it or anything, and I usually keep his character wholesome, but I love it when other folks don’t.
3- I actually really like the Vietnam War storyline. I mean it hurts, but it seems plausible. I hate the idea of him dying there, but I like exploring the idea of him being drafted. Hell, maybe he even enlisted. The military is known for being a good way to earn enough money to pull one’s family out of poverty, and this paired with the flawed ideas of masculinity and strength of the time lead to a really interesting version of Soda’s future.
I’m real glad it isn’t canon though.
4- This isn’t technically unpopular but brown eyed Soda will always be canon to me. I like Rob Lowe’s Soda a lot but man….he coulda used brown contacts, yk? /hj lol
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.
Well I still think it’s a crime his emotional monologue got cut outta the original version of the film. Thank God for the full novel version, but man, still.
Woulda also have been cool to see him mentioned in That Was Then This is Now, but I get that SE Hinton wasn’t trying to make an Outsiders sequel really.
Idk, Soda served his purpose, I think.
tl;dr- I love him
#sodapop curtis#the outsiders sodapop#soda curtis#the outsiders#the outsiders 1983#stevepop#rambling#ask game#ask#sodapop curtis my beloved#i actually initially wanted to dislike Soda when I first read the book cos his description annoyed me#(i was newly 15 and was jealous of all boys prettier than me which is /ridiculous/ to admit but whatever)#…but i couldn’t dislike him even when I tried. he’s just so…/good/. idk soda’s such a great character#maybe not the most plot-important but he makes the book so much better just by existing. it wouldn’t be as good without him.#ALSO sorry this took a minute to reply to anon! I love Soda and I had to do him justice yk?#long post
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Hi Caterkinnie! Your work is really amazing, thank you so much for all your work in the fandom! I think anyone who sees your headcanons days are brightened! May I request Rook, Jamil, Ruggie and Azul or Vil (up to you) with a friend they have been deeply in love with for a long time, who's just broken up from a long-term bad relationship. I'd find it really interesting to see the angst the boys struggled with while their friend was in such a bad relationship--a relationship that would somehow never end no matter how awful or neglectful their partner was (up to your imagination how their partner was)--and how they handled not letting their deepening love/crush show (if that's how they'd handle it. I honestly have no idea as to how Rook especially would handle this situation). And of course, now that there's been an unprecedented breakup, what now? I hope that wasn't too specific. I just thought it'd be interesting because I just broke up from a long-term relationship @__@ (5 years for me... In my case, I was dating a selfish man child. According to my friends, it was heartbreaking to watch because no matter what they said/did or what he said/did it would never end, so they just had to watch the rollercoaster play out while white knuckled). I haven't seen headcanons on this type of situation yet and how the boys would respond, so I'd love to see your headcanons. Not to mention, your writing is so top knotch, and I feel like you really get the complexity of so many of these characters, that I was pumped to ask when I saw your requests are open. If it's too specific or you're not feeling it, I get it! I hope you keep rocking on with this blog and whatever else you're up to! Thank you for the hardwork!
Supporting you through a bad break up...
❥ ⌗ characters: Rook hunt, Jamil Viper, Ruggie Bucchi, Azul Ashengrotto.
❥ ⌗ Summary: After a long long time with the person who you thought was the love of your life, ended the relationship suddenly with the pretext he was no longer in love. You decided to confide your feelings with your closest friend; a friend who happened to be deeply in love with you.
❥ ⌗ tags: tw for toxic relationship, though details aren't given, there are mentions of arguments and toxic behaviour. didn't proofread enough. sorry if ooc.
❥ ⌗ a/n: sorry anon!!!!!!! I've had this drafted since you requested this... and only now i finished it!!! i couldn't bring myself to delete it as I loved the idea so much. Hope if you see this that you're doing so much better now!!!!
Rook made it very clear from the beginning he had feelings for you, but would not attempt to show them.
He also could see the signs of what seemed to be an unhappy relationship that sooner or later was going to come to an end; signs you probably didn't notice.
He's a very caring man, ever since the moment he met you he always tried to help you in any way, and this was no exception; but he also knew, as much as it hurt him, you needed time to realize that the person you loved didn't treat you in the way you deserved to be treated. It hurt him so deeply to see the way he talked to you, but Rook wasn't a hero who would yell at your boyfriend to stop. He had to be subtle — trying to calm the waters when he was around, defending you in his own way. His heart ached, sometimes with jealousy, sometimes with rage — sometimes both, but he refused to let you know about any of these emotions. He was there for you, whether you needed help or advice.
He helped you because he loved you, he constantly told you how important you were to him and there was nothing he wished more than to take you away and treat you like a queen. But alas, his love was not only unrequited, you were in love with someone else.
Oh, how glad he'd be if only one day you woke up and chose him! The selfish part of him wanted to rush, but he knew he had to be patient... Someday it'd happen, or at the very least... you'd be with someone else who makes you happy, and that's something he would like as well.
But when you come to him to tell him everything that happened...
He's going to comfort you and walk you through the feelings the breakup left… In those cases, he's not as mischievous as he typically is. His voice is soft and soothing, as he tries to get your mind off things, as well as being of support when you need it the most…
He can't bring himself to court you while doing so, although deep down, he wishes someday you'll see his efforts, even if he's not exactly expecting you to fall for him…
However, your now ex-boyfriend will avoid you like the plague, and runs away when Rook is nearby, and you wonder if he had something to do with that….
Jamil warned you about your partner a few times, he didn't want to get TOO involved to avoid making you upset, but every time the subject was brought up…. he felt a deep heaviness in his heart that he hated.
The least thing he wanted was for you to notice his feelings. But maybe he was too insistent on the idea that it was best if you broke up…
But those were genuinely good feelings. He saw how bad you were being treated and constantly found himself thinking… “I could do better, so much better…” Yet he hated himself for it. What could he do, if you never saw anything in him?
He feels all of these things, yet it's like… he only wants you to Not Be with your boyfriend. Jamil believes you'd never love him back as well.
If you came to him for advice, he'd give it to you— but his voice was always restrained… and soon enough, he just tried his best to act as if his feelings weren't there, as if he was just a friend who gave advice and was exhausted by you not following it.
But then… it finally happened, but as happy as he felt, seeing how much it affected you.. it didn't feel like victory (even if it was!)
He wouldn't constantly seek you out. But if you need to vent he's always there. He's not good with comforting words… but his honesty can be soothing and grounding. As well as he might sometimes just try to aid you in general, after all… acts of service (unfortunately) are second nature for him.
Whether it's for food… studying… anything. You don't even have to ask… But he's not expecting you to like him back. And not in a cute “he'll wait for you!” kind of way… he thinks you'd never reciprocate his feelings. And he's not sad about that! Jamil just accepted that as a reality. Whether that changes or not is up to you…
Ruggie's pretty straightforward… Not with his feelings, but with his opinion on your boyfriend.
He takes every chance he gets to say something about him and as much as he tries to play it off as a joke, his voice is bitter… He hates him so much!
Ruggie wants to believe he only hates him because you're someone he could dare to call a friend! He denies any other underlying reason for his distaste for your boyfriend that isn't that he's unfair with you... But obviously, he's a bit prideful, a tiiny bit. He couldn't help but try to impress you every time he could. He wished that you'd see how you deserved to be treated… And maaaaybe how much better he is. And he tries for so long, it's kind of obvious if you know him well. If you're observant enough you might have caught on to his feelings.
However, that all changed when you went to him looking for the comfort of a friend, after your relationship ended…
Like Jamil, Ruggie wanted to feel happy, he wanted to celebrate! Finally you weren't tied to that man-child! You could finally focus on yourself and maaaybe on him….. But when he saw how heartbroken you looked, he couldn't bring himself to act on those emotions. You were hurt, and he hated seeing you like that. Though he's pretty awkward at it… He'll try his best to comfort you, but his words feel stiff and you can tell this is not his area of expertise…
He does so much better when it comes to acts of service. He'll try his best to distract you, make you laugh… which is something he'd love to hear again. He won't dare to mention his feelings however. It'd take a long time before he even considers that he could have a chance.
Unlike everyone before, Azul'd rather stay quiet.
He already hated the idea of having feelings for you, and just wanted to forget you existed to make the tightness in his heart disappear. He wasn't one to believe in love, let alone the fact that you were already committed to a relationship…
Yet because of that same reason he wasn't able to leave.
He had a special way of aiding you out of uncomfortable situations and stupid arguments, almost appearing randomly and requesting attention from one of you. The way he dissipated the tense air by just intruding (literally) was almost comical.
Azul's not sure of what to do, as he always regrets helping you, he says you're hopeless and it's up to you to change the situation… as if he doesn't care at all unless you're going to make a deal with him, but then he ALWAYS comes back, lends a listening ear, maybe greets you with some tea and a few snacks… Oh he pays for them, don't worry. It's a gift.
Then he goes back to feeling guilty for helping you, and frustrated for liking you.
….He's a complex guy.
One of those times, you came to talk to him at his office (which the twins knew you had special priority over his other tasks. Even if he never asked.) and told him what happened, you had an argument and it escalated, leading to the breakup… In which he seemed calm as always listening to you… asking you to sit on the couch as he paid attention to your woes.
He was at a loss for words.
Yes, he did believe this was for the best… but this ACTUALLY happening made him realize he never planned what to do beforehand. He repeated the typical routine, something sweet to drink… something soothing to eat… He's a good listener, and he will easily ignore his crush on you to help you better.
His feelings were always second place for him, and Azul seems like the kind of guy who low-key wishes you don't love him back, as he wouldn't know what to do if you did... (even as flattered as he'd feel, he still struggles with trusting people.)
However… if you're too uncomfortable with tour ex… He might ask the twins to aid you if you wish to not see him again! For free of course. You shoule accept his kindness… as he typically doesn't offer such services for free.
Reblogs are appreciated!!!
#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland imagines#twst#rook hunt#rook hunt x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#ruggie bucchi#jamil viper x reader#jamil viper#azul ashengrotto x reader#azul ashengrotto
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":P"
#vidow#vio x shadow#shadow x vio#legend of zelda#legend of zelda link#legend of zelda shadow link#loz#loz link#loz shadow link#four swords +#four swords manga#four swords vio#four swords shadow#vio link#shadow link#Vidow Bad End AU#Listen I know it's called the bad end au#I just think they also deserve to be happy sometimes#because things get real bittersweet real fast in there
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New Age AU (Obtaining Killer)
Hey guys! Through with a bot of stuff for the day and I have a sneaking suspicion that this stress headache will not leave me until I finish some projects for work, so I *may* be m.i.a. for a hot second until they stop.
In the meantime, I want to drop this! (Unedited, unrefined, raw off the slab style)
Andddd @ancha-aus and @papiliovolens ! Hello! (Mutzelputz if u see this, the tags weren't working for some reason, I apologize.)
Hope y'all enjoy!
Ccino had convinced him to leave the castle. After nearly a year had passed since his last true public appearance. Since he'd stolen the apple from his brother. Nine months had passed since he'd sent Dream away. He tried not to think about it.
Nightmare had been finding out a lot about his magic. How it made him jittery, and how he felt like he understood so much more. How it made him deeply paranoid, quick to react.
How it made people listen to him.
He figured it was because he was scary now. The negative magic condensed over every inch of his bone wasn't exactly appealing, and the extra limbs which had sprouted from his spine now acted like his own personal weapons. If someone didn't listen, didn't give him an answer he liked, the limbs moved without him even thinking.
It had taken time to learn to better control them. Even now, they writhed in his wake. His nerves expressed through their lashing and twitching as they hovered just above the ground.
The streets weren't exactly crowded.
Upon word of the King's arrival to this small providence, Nightmare had found that many people fled from his path. His travel party of several soldiers, and himself on horseback. He'd always wanted to ride horses. The traitor twin was someone that every citizen wished to avoid.
Ccino had coaxed him outside with promises of fresh air. Apparently there were promising young members of the city guard that Ccino swore would be wonderful future knights. Young warriors for him to bring up loyally under his name, no fear of betrayal.
It had made sense, at the time, but Nightmare hadn't chosen to recruit any of them.
It wasn't to say he didn't want to. Several of the humans and monsters were very talented, and he did his best to give them praise, but he could tell. None of them wanted to work under him. They didn't like him. Rejection and hatred that had pierced him immediately, he could practically taste it.
Ultimately, they would do better here in their hometown. A place they were passionate about protecting, and with people they cared for. Night would not try to mold promising soldiers into his perfect guard. No matter how smart of an idea it may have been.
And so he'd moved on.
Night had visited several smaller shops, onces which couldn't afford to refuse him, and he bought some fabrics, a trinket, some small thing from each place he stopped by. He payed exactly the price he needed for each thing. He wouldn't bribe his people, either. The best he could do would be to remain neutral.
He did discover, against all odds, that he was enjoying this day out. Ccino was, in fact, usually correct about this sort of thing.
The travel had been enriching. Almost exciting. He'd never gotten out of the castle much at all, this was all new and excitingly mundane.
Good things do not last forever.
It was almost sunset when he noticed it. Torches being set up, a platform prepared. A crowd gathering.
An execution, came the mutter from one of his soldiers. Though he recognized the set-up, Night had never been in attendance to an execution. He was morbidly curious. The crowd held such a contempt. A broiling hunger for blood.
He wished he'd wheeled his horse away when a few people were ushered out of a nearby building.
The prison, maybe?
There weren't many of them. Nightmare dismounted his steed, and much to the dismay of the soldiers at his side, he found himself sinking. Into the growing shadows cast by the dying sun.
He re-emerged beside the stage, where the few people were lined up. Ready for death by hanging.
That trick wasn't one that Nightmare quite understood yet, but he was always drawn to feelings of intense negativity. He knew that, now. Something about these prisoners were bothering him, even at a distance, and he found himself more curious as he stood before them.
His guards, at the back of the crowd, hadn't seemed to figure out where he had gone. He had the time, now, to loom over the small group of prisoners.
The city guards, the trained ones, had likely seen him earlier at their headquarters. They did not speak even a word against him as he stared.
Nightmare stared at these faces.
A dog monster, scrappy and scarred, black fur clashing against a few patches of white. One of her ears was missing.
A pair of humans, both men, one with long, curly red hair and another with short-cropped red hair and the beginnings of a beard. Maybe they were brothers?
A skeleton. His sockets dripped with black magic, and his soul was a piercing crimson, just infront of his chest.
A flame monster, small and stout. Their flames a flickering green and purple. One of their eyes had a patch over it.
Nightmare was not great at determining emotions yet. He was hardly versed in his own feelings, but there had been improvement recently. Understanding new emotions had been coming more naturally to him.
Sometimes it hurt, but he was learning.
Now, past the blossoms of a headache, he felt a bit baffled as he subconsciously picked through the negativity these monsters exuded. Their fear. Their pain. Their loss, and their anger.
Oh.
"Only one of you is guilty."
He'd said it without thinking, practically announcing it with a voice that still felt unnaturally deep. A voice which rattled his ribcage and seemed to force past the barrier of darkness around him.
The group before him seemed startled. Confused.
Well, all but the skeleton, who seemed to only raise his skull slightly. As though just noticing Nightmare was there.
"How could you have possibly been jailed in the first place?" He muttered a bit quieter to himself.
He knew, deep down, that there were many, many rules in place for situations like this. Laws which he could challenge. People he could speak to. He could appoint members of his court to each of these people and try to earn their innocence through the rites of the law.
Then again, he remembered the rage of the crowd. The frustration of the people waiting to see these killings take place.
He didn't know what to do.
Now the prisoners, especially the two humans, were staring at him hopefully. He'd managed to shatter the negativity a bit. He believed them. He knew this was wrong.
"I don't know..."
The mutter came again unprompted.
These people would not have the means to repay him for his help. He couldn't just waive fees, or risk his court turning against him. He couldn't afford enemies being made so close to his inner circle.
He couldn't just leave them, though. Not after he'd seen the injustice of it all.
Stuck in his own thoughts, he was drawn out of it by a snickering laugh.
"Just set them free." A voice followed, "You are our King, aren't you?"
Nightmare then found his eyes drawn to the skeleton.
The others had eased themselves away from him. He stood, now, almost alone. He seemed unbothered by speaking up, his sockets held in an almost lazy posture. Tension going completely un-held.
He grinned up as the King, and seemed to watch contentedly as the thought settled in Nightmare's skull.
He could do that. Simply waive their charges. Pardon them. He could do that, surely. Many royals had done it before him for less certain terms. His mother had plenty of times.
"And you are guilty. You'll still be hanged. You know this, don't you?" Nightmare asked.
That was when the Skeleton's lazy sockets seemed to tighten with a sort of glee. Some hidden joke Nightmare wasn't privy to.
"Hmm." This was a poor choice. This was a bad decision. "Tell me, quickly, how you came to be here. Before I proceed?"
Nightmare didn't know why he was asking. He was... curious. Just like he had always been.
Very few people would ever speak straight to his face. Ccino, that was the only one who'd done it since his change. Since the prophecy. This skeleton had done it. He'd spoken when no one else could muster even a plea.
The silence he seemed to bring to every room. Broken, just briefly.
The skeleton stared at him a moment.
"Name's Killer, your majesty." The tone was mocking. "A while back a buddy of mine got into hot water, and I decided to help them out. Now, plenty of bodies later, I'm the one stuck on death row."
Simple. An admission of guilt.
Nightmare stared at him some more.
Finally, it seemed his frantic guards had noticed him. Found him. They rushed to his side, though not as fast as he would've liked. He could feel the frustration seeping from each armored body around him.
"You don't have an aversion to it," Nightmare voiced, "Killing, I mean."
Killer nodded. Unashamed.
It felt strangely calm, still. Perhaps it was because the crowd was still chattering. They likely hadn't noticed Nightmare at all.
The king turned to the city guard, still stood on the steps. "Free these four people. My judgement decrees them as not-guilty."
And, before any time could pass in the slightest. "Killer, I would like you to accompany me, before you abscond."
He'd noticed it. Killer had undone his cuffs before their conversation. Completely freeing himself from his weak imprisonment.
Killer seemed amused at the concept of sticking around to chat.
"If you would, I would like to recruit your services at my castle. I need a man who is willing to kill. And kill swiftly." Ccino said to establish an image. It was obvious now that his reputation would remain in the gutter, no matter what choices he made. He was not Dream.
Killer's sockets narrowed.
"And what would I get for being your little hunting dog?" Again, it was bold. It was new.
Nightmare was sure his expression hadn't changed since he'd come before the group. That same angry glare that sat permanently along his skull. The magic had an image to project.
His tendrils flicked, slightly.
"Payment, room, Fresh meals, and any other amenities you may like, so long as it does not break our treasury." He replied, "All I ask is that you simply obey me. And Me alone."
Not true. He'd probably ask for him to listen to Ccino as well. Once he knew for certain he'd stay.
Killer seemed to be thinking. He eyed they king, up and down. He looked to each of the guard around the king. The ones who were back in position now, though Nightmare could feel their annoyance. Their confusion.
Then Killer turned.
Then he turned back.
"Mm. Can't be worse than the ol' noose." Killer replied. "Funny way to run a country, my king. Hiring the first murderer you spot?"
Nightmare didn't humor that with a response. He was honestly shocked the skeleton had even agreed.
Though, all of that negativity had been swapped out for a glee. Something deep in Killer had changed during their brief interaction. A hope. Night could barely grasp the edges of its existence with his subconscious. But it was there.
.
He ignored the crowds as they grew confused. He ignored the worry pouring from the criminals as he had them released and informed them of their pardon.
He did not ignore when his guards told someone to keep their distance. He glanced up. Killer was standing beyond the guards, looking bored.
Nightmare, trusting fool he was, didn't even ask a guard to watch him to ensure he stayed put.
"Stand down." He ordered the guard, who begrudgingly allowed the skeleton to smugly slip past.
His tendrils kept the monster at a distance Night preferred all on their own. He seemed to take the hint.
"They're all gonna be dead by morning, you know." Killer voiced easily.
Nightmare turned to him, confused. What did he mean by that? He'd pardoned them?
"Are you deaf? The crowd wanted us dead, especially me." He chuckled, "Leaving them here is definitely going to get them killed. If the crowd doesn't rip them apart the second you leave, then it'll happen at night. There will be no witnesses."
Oh... Night hadn't fathomed that these people could turn on the innocent once declared. It hadn't even crossed his mind. Did they have a home to return to? A family they put at risk?
The noose was a fast death, but being murdered? That would've been so much worse.
He could tell, by the way they evaded looking at Killer, that he was right. Nightmare would be sentencing them to a new sort of death if he did it like this.
But he didn't have time for a trial. Or several. The sun was going down, abd Ccino expected him back. The castle needed him present, or they might revolt.
Someone might hurt Ccino.
Oh, he was such a poor ruler. He did not know his people well enough. How he lamented the lessons Dream had taken about crowds and current issues abd how to be likeable.
Night didn't know how to handle this. He was still learning!
A trembled in his hand. He tucked the limb quickly away from where it had been lightly clutching his tunics thick fabric, now hiding it beneath his cloak.
"Killer is right. It won't be safe here, for any of you." He spoke. Thank the gods it didn't sound as shaken as he felt. "I extend an offer to you all. You may stay here, or you may come take up positions among my staff back at the castle. Unlike Killer, I do not expect any crime from you, but you will be paid and housed."
The offer was met with a roar of frustration from the crowd, Nightmare chose to allow his guards to handle it. He watched, carefully, as the four looked between eachother.
The brothers agreed first. (They introduced themselves as brothers as they knelt in thanks.) Then the Dog. She said she had no family left to watch over, starting a new life would be for the best.
The flame refused, saying they would leave town by morning, and try to stay safe.
And so, Nightmare left the town with four new party members. Each had been provided a horse, each tied to one of the guards. Aside from Killer, whose steed was held personally by Nightmare.
He figured Ccino would chew him out for this, for bringing criminals into the castle when he was sent to collect soldiers, but Nightmare had a good feeling about these ones.
They did not hate him. Or fear him. He was helping them. And it felt good.
#hoping this posts. i put it into drafts first...#new age au#Night is a little poorly written here. but I promise it's intentional.#i love making the narration feel just as displaced as the character it's followinh#also. might write smth for Killer's pov of this because I can promise you#90% of it is “this loser has no clue what the fuck he”#'s doing“#in a mix of awe and amusement#and he 100% started with ulterior motives and ended up having a change of heart because of the whole#him sensing vaguely that Night was a weird paranoid kid still#OH#and that odd bit in the middle where Night is doing stuff isn't fleshed out very well#but it's meant to be a show of Night making sure his presence is known + gauging how people react to him being perfectly normal#and more importantly#he lost track of his plans. he's actually not supposed to be doing that. he's still a kid and he wanted to explore!#mm#okay#one more note#Nightmare takes those people back with him right? his castle staff is like 20% people from before and 80% people he freed from#unlawful situations or took in when they had nothing#the public sees it as him taking in shifty#evil criminals. but really? these people look up to nightmare because they were at their lowest and now have stable lives + homes and even#families sometimes#it's just cool#inside the castle is a lot safer than outside#even tho Ccino is still the only one who prepares Night's meals I think a good hunk of the staff would maul anyone they found w/ poison in a#mile radius of the kitchen.#raughhhh#okay fr last thing#I love Killer :] Him being the first is so important to me and I think he deserves the happiness ever
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Family ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#ISaT#Siffrin#Isabeau#Mirabelle#Odile#I have not been able to stop drawing Sif's black ensemble under their cloak ever since I learned about it#The cutest#His favourite colour is black and he wears all black and he dyed his hair black so now it's two-tone!#Stopppp that's too cute#Got curious and yes - fully black-haired Sif is Very cute <3 Contrast lad#Pls gentle touches to Sif they deserve soft holds <3#I'm really happy with their hand expressions there ah Isa's big hands and Sif's small and cute#They love each other!! However whichever way <3#The posing for Sif and Mira is awkward because I was trying to draw the one with them hugging and failed lol#So they're just existing in proximity and happy about it <3 Just being together is fun!#I do love Sif getting practice in on positive touch but also just being nearby and being happy <3#Good company for certain#Can you tell I'm less practiced at drawing Odile so far lol#She is pretty <3 I didn't fully understand the lesbian catnip comments at first but I think I get it now lol#Her flyaways are probably my favourite hehe <3 Gotta draw her with crows feet sometime! Lovely ♪#I love her watching out for the younger members of the party in her cool and dry way hehe - Sif is sleepy! But he needs a push to go nap#There's the hug yaaay <3#I like everyone's outfits very much but I will admit to not using references when I drew Mira :'D More the vibes of her clothes lol#I'll draw them proper sometime!#Odile's outfit is very pretty <3 I love all the allusions to gems ah it's so cool#Such a lovely bunch!
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I need scenes where Daryl explicitly shows that he loves Carol for all of who she is as a human. I know we know it, even though that feeling has been fading since the spin-off and even in parts of season 11. But I reallyyy need at least one scene where Daryl catches Carol doing something distinctly Carol and looks at her for a *prolonged* time with unambiguous love all over his face. And then he actively shows and tells her. Like the scenes where Aaron and Rosita see Carol putting herself through pain to kill the horse to feed Alexandria. I need to know that Daryl sees that in her. And I need to see him radiate intense love in her direction because she fucking needs it.
#i just feel like carol has spent years and years and years being the most selfless and loving human on the planet#and she has no idea how fuck beautiful of a human she is#even though her family love her they also punish her for her flaws and its gross honestly#but you know who never did that#daryl#and you know who now feels like he sometimes does that#you guessed it#and i just feel like shes trapped in this state of daryl being the only person who always loved her unconditionally and just hoping for...#for that version of him to come back again#but shes not asking for it bc she doesnt think she deserves it#but she hopes#and it feels like he isnt there for her#not really#i need her to feel loved again#even when they reunited in france it just felt like she was relieved to have found him but at terminus it was more like joy to realise...#how much he loved her#when does she get to have that again#even the shocked look she gave during “im the one you tell” when she realised he actually WANTS to be there for her i'd like that again#our man daryl just built all of this reassurance that he loves and supports her and then when shes at her most lost he withdraws it#like what the fuck#i just want carol happy so much#or just LOVED i just want her to feel truly loved#bc right now i feel like she feels like people just tolerate her#can anyone honestly tell me they watched tboc and feel like carol feels unwaiveringly loved and supported throughout that series#bc wow#silly me but i think we all deserve more than what she got there#caryl#the book of carol#tboc#carol peletier
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wiggles my fingers at you ouuuu… you want to tell me about solace so bad…
HKJGG wiggles my fingers back lovingly!!! i really do, i fuckin LOVE solace :3 hey did you know i really like making fake skill descriptions?
SOLACE
Follow the north star. Find light in even the darkest places. Cool for: Optimists, Recovering lost souls, Sweet summer children
Solace is the skill you tucked away long ago, at the bottom of Pandora's box. The little one that tells you: despite it all, there is still hope. It needs a lot of nurturing -- and it's far from being the most helpful for police work -- but taking care of it is basically self-care. It enables you to find the glow in yourself that you often ascribe to gold lungs or brilliant halos in others. It encourages you to wake up and watch the sunrise, to play board games with someone you love, to forgive yourself and let yourself be a gentler kind of animal. Constantly looking forward to a brighter future, it also helps shield your morale from damage.
At high levels, Solace gives you a heightened sense of childlike optimism - which isn't always the sense to lead with in this precariously harsh world. Always looking for the bright side will blindside you with naivety. At low levels, however, you may just extinguish whatever keeps your soul alight. You've already lost her once. You may not survive the desolation if you let her disappear again.
#i wanted to draw a skill portrait for her for this but [gestures vaguely at life] i hope this is cool enough hkjgkj <33#solace is truly voli's ''keep going. there's still hope for us'' and echem's ''we can be happy again! let's go find joy wherever we can''#this is why i keep saying she's their kid hkjgh she covers the happy medium of both of their ideologies. hope for a happier future.#harry goes to the store and finds a pair of pink heart shades that gives her ''+1 Rose Colored Glasses'' :3#i feel like theres some mechanic that keeps her from gaining too many points. a locked skill cap or maybe she can lose skill points??#hm. considers this.#echem voice ''i can't believe i'm saying this but we really can't drink alcohol anymore. it's bad for the baby :(''#ALSO. THIS IS ONE OF MY MORE SELF INDULGENT WORKS SO IF IT SEEMS OOC IN ANY WAY THAT'S BC THIS IS MY COMFORT FIC HGKJKJ#i know sometimes i write skill relationships too sweet and the world too kind and the game too unrealistically...#i know shivers said the end of the world is in 22 years. i know being a revachol cop would kill solace. i know alcoholism is hard to kick#and dora still haunts us. i know life is so hard and there is so much that kills hope and that the pale is going to swallow elysium. i know#but isn't disco elysium about how the world is awful and corrupt and futile but there is still beauty and worth to living in it?#the sky. the world. you're still alive. after death; life again. one day i will return to your side. sunrise parabellum.#the phasmid exists. the pale can be fought back with art. the city's alive and she told us she loves us. and solace believes there is hope.#augh idk man hjlkjg just don't want to lean into the ''young witch trying to find a cat in the alps'' bullshit lmao FUCK that </3#i just think harry deserves a hope skill.#volta transmissions#inland drabbles#task: when two skills love each other very much
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one thing about frank furter and elizabeth sparkle is that they do NOT play around when it comes to their homunculus creations that they harbor complicated feelings towards.
#‘me and my pet freak’ and it pans over to a confused and dazed conventionally attractive critter with deerlike wonder in their eyes#BEFORE YOU START THROWING ROCKS AT ME. ELISABETH AND SUE ARE CUTE. AND IM A STUPID DYKE. LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE SHUT UP GET OUT OF MY HEAD#also i lowkey feel so bad for rocky he was just a baby. just seven hours old. and the only thing he has come to trust is a rush of lust.#he deserved better. he deserved to be loved and cherishes im gonna cry#in another life where frank doesnt go mad with power the castle inhabitants are all just a happy family#brad and janet come over sometimes. brad brings coleslaw.#and i knowwww i know abt the symbolism of the substance. i was so fixated on analyzing it when i watched it#so like now that im done ruining myself and sobbing over the deep and incredibly realistic messages of the movie#let me be gay and stupid in peace. i deserve it i think.#ALSO THERES THIS AMAZING ARTISTS WHO POSTS GORG ART OF THEM AND IM OBSESSED#IF NO ONE GOT ME I KNOW THEY GOT ME CAN I GET AN AMEN#AND THEY POST SUCH WONDERFUL GOLDEN WIVES CONTENT#feed me#feed me seymourrrr feed me all night longgg#okay tag rant over#macposting#rocky horror#rocky horror picture show#frank n furter#rocky#the substance#elisabeth sparkle#sue the substance#elisabeth sparkle x sue#elisasue#himejoshing out#goodnight guys
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WE GOT THE KEYS TO THE BEACH HOUSE BABY
#WE ARE SO BACK#my friend's parents love me and said i could visit any time so ????!??! they gave miffy the keys and told her to bring me 'whenever i want'#holy shit i need a moped or something so i can go alone and chill by the water#it's a 4ish hour drive so we probs will wait to go on special occasions but if i was in possession of them#i would be there right now sitting on the top bunk in the 3rd guest room holy shit#im so happy her family likes me#T^T#my surrogate mom and autistic dad lmao#they are so sweet and cool and im honored to be their fake son#well like we watched christmas movies and made food and went to see lights i think im actually their son now<3333#plus they are like really supportive on like me being trans#also apparently (friend) dad got drunk the other day and was telling my bestie that he really likes talking about stars and space w me#they specifically gave her the keys to the beach house bc they saw how happy i was when i was there i love my second mom and dad so much <3#anyway#if i drop off the face of the earth in the future it's bc im in the ocean trying to swim to uh well...#also *dad when i met him for the first time when we stayed there for thanksgiving just got diagnosed w autism and like would only talk to m#which was fine bc i get it bro im here for you; but he was like so happy to have someone who understood him#and i was happy to be w someone who also got it#and her mom was also really sweet ah#i love the whole fame miffy's bf included; they make me feel so loved and taken care of#i ah; sometimes i dont think i deserve this kind of love and then! people go out of their way to prove me wrong
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I think about that tiktok trend where you like paint your partners eye color on your nails or make a bracelet or something with the color a lot actually
#like its so cute honestly but sometimes i wonder how hard it would actually be to like find the right color match#maybe one day... but for now probably expect oc art with this trend in it maybe 💀#the thing about it too is i have like dark eyes and idk if ive ever seen like a dark brown nail polish. beads or thread yeah but ya#oh nvm i googled. it exists i just dont pay attention ig#OH you know what i can do... i can paint pepperonis eye color on my nails.... my baby... my kitty......#dude it feels like 5 am why is it only 2#amyways. 4 monsters was a big mistake i think... i feel quite icky...#it doesnt help i didnt eat for a majority of the day it was just monster. im really unhealthy. need water maybe#wait i was talking about nail polish how did i get here#i just want to actually do cute couple things. i must heal. im gonna be so healthy.#its fine. lmao. i just know im not ready#oh i did eat btw dont worry lmao i had. chicken nuggets#i actually have to eat more bc i need to gain back some weight or they wont let me donate plasma#my extra pokemon money..... nawr...#i dropped like 10 pounds. my current job is very physical. lots of scuttling around.#i thought about working out too? i had a short phase last year in like spring or something where i started doing workout type stuff#so like.. maybe. probably should. healtly mindset shit yk#i also maybe want some more clothes. like update my wardrobe a bit. really figure out my style.#like some cool shirts and maybe pants. cause i wear a lot of the same stuff#also again. dropped weight so. need better fitting pants.....#i want more mens pants. big pockets... gender....#anyways. nice chatting with you besties. love you guys my silly little tumblr besties.#some of you that follow this sideblog have supported me on here for a while. i see you. i appreciate you. thank you 💖#genuinely there are names that pop up and im like !! hello!!! its you!!!!!#you guys probably know who you are. go get yourself a little treat you deserve it. or like. idk what you enjoy.#play a good game. watch your favorite show. idk. be happy. love yourself.#this also goes out to those of you who are more passive on my blog. i appreciate you too!! thank you!#all my little tumblr followers.... my besties..... unles you are a bot i havent cleared out lmao#k i might have to go to bed idk im tired well see
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I don't think this is Moe's first offense (saying something brazen/flippant) but I do think it's the first time it's called the King a bitch. And it won't be the last! The funniest part of Anna being the one to take charge and chew Moe out is that it gives Moe the opportunity to do The Exact Same Thing to Alfonse one-on-one (you know... to test the waters... to see how he feels about it....). Which it is. Also promptly chastised for.
FAVE PANELS...
#fire emblem#feh#moe really is. a type of guy. it immediately gets scared when anna first corrects it. so what does it do? dig the hole deeper. double down.#THAT REALLY IS MOE'S BRAVE FACE.... playing dumb or getting oppositional. sometimes both.#but it is NOT confrontational... epitome of i'm just a little birthday boy. EXTREMELY annoying type of guy LMFAOOO#i feel like anna has been v patient w moe up until this point. like this has to be a three strikes you're OUT situation.#and both alfonse/sharena have been such hard working straight and narrow types that. they have never seen anna like that.#I REALLY THINK. it's like. anna is The Literal Commander Of A Military Unit and also given her background#more or less she could have been killed for having an attitude like that. hypothetically. we don't know her background. BUT THEORETICALLY..#i like to imagine it does come from a place of that though.#also moe may be an authority hating shithead but it does VERY quickly come to respect anna actually.#you have to Earn it. be Worthy of it. it sees that anna is extremely capable and skilled and fair. it respects that.#so like... i think it genuinely doesn't want to upset or disappoint her. however... it does have ... moe tendencies.#anyways even though i'm in between a dozen things i just had to draw this out and i'm so happy i did tbh#i don't really know how anna feels about moe. but it IS extremely funny to imagine moe is just torn asunder by her at one point#AND. IT FULLY DESERVED IT. it is taking the L here.#ALSO THE FACT THAT ALFONSE IS PISSED TOO. IT'S SO FUNNY TO ME. moe you just fucked up big time#IT WAS TRYING. TO BE NICE. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#fe alfonse#sharena#fe anna#moe tag#summoner oc#my art#my comics#also that is. a whole other comic. moe committing the offense again and getting sternly corrected#until it's like ooooohhh. wait. you actually respect your dad... okay. um. let me think of something else to say#LMFAOOO... i think third time's a charm. it doesn't dare say that to sharena. what if she cries. moe is also gonna cry. and thrup
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I think abandoning diet culture and favouring the function of my body versus the ~aesthetic~ of my body has really opened my eyes and given me a new chance to be one with myself.
It is hard to get through this, but I honestly think it's worth the investment it takes to unlearn the idea that your body must serve others and must be out of the way, and must only take up so much space to be valued and for you to be loved.
#anti diet culture#celebrating what my body can do in the here and now has only taught me good things about myself#it's taught me how strong my body is and how i can push it further on my own time#like it can be really hard because the double whammy of dysphoria and body shaming of men but. fuck it i ball. i will continue to ball#haters mad i can ball and cry at the same time (joking)#also like... it will be a personal journey for everybody and there isn't the ~final stage~ where you'll pnly be happy with yourself...#...i don't think that's reasonable or fair to expect that from yourself...#...the important part of unlearning diet culture is that no matter what your body can/can't do and no matter how it appears...#...no matter all of that you're still worthy of love and respect and nourishment and happiness#you don't have to adore your body to recognize its worth *and* your worth#you could hate your body and still recognize that you deserve all those things#and lord knows sometimes we do hate our bodies and that is morally neutral at *worst*#i just hope that you all are able to internalize your inherent worth <3#and i wanted to post about this because i think this conversation is important and unlearning these expectations is also important
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Need to vent momentarily so uh…
Had a giant fight with my mom this morning about admiring Elon Musk or Donald Trump just because they’re “successful” which also evolved into her again critiquing her own children and how I pointed out that the shit she says about us can be hurtful, even when she insists she’s trying to be “encouraging.”
I won’t go into detail about it because my family issues are insane sometimes—but I wanted to add this context because maybe I still have some leftover frustration and rage from that, and I guess because I’ve experienced another weeks and weeks’ pile-up of sinophobia, and I’m also overwhelmed by how awful the world is right now with the continued genocide of Palestine but also the rise in normalization of right wing politics, but I saw something today that just added to the frustration because God I hate how people can’t see “the Other” in a less prejudiced light.
It’s not a big deal but saw some sinophobia today that with my poor mood didn’t help exactly:
Basically, there’s a short from a year ago about Chinese celebrities being snubbed at international events to the point that one of them (Liu Yifei) got cut off from a group photo and how another (Zhang Yuqi) got asked to get off the red carpet because they assumed she wasn’t a guest despite her being all dressed up.
The comments are all bullshit like “well they work for the CCP right? So they deserve to be ignored” or “why are you stirring up drama? Just because they’re famous in China doesn’t mean they’re famous internationally” or “haha a taste of China’s own medicine.”
Like oh my God, shut up.
These are international events. Why are you acting like snubbing an international guest isn’t worthy of critique? Just because you hate the country’s politics?? In that case, if you don’t even recognize the celebrity, how do you even know if they work for the oh-so-evil CCP???
It’s always “I don’t hate the Chinese; I just hate their government” until it comes to actual Chinese people because then your poor brain just assumes Chinese people are an extension of their government. You think these celebrities work for the government just by simply existing?? How? Do you think they pay their wages to the CCP or some shit???
Kpop fans mentioned for years that kpop celebrities were snubbed at international red carpets until recently. Why the hell don’t fans of Chinese celebrities get to point it out then?
#kuku vents#I know this isn’t that important#but sometimes it’s the minute things that get to you…you know?#there is bigger sinophobia stuff right now like how people think the recent 35 dead in China after a man drove a car into a crowd#is being covered up by the government#but that big sinophobia stuff is all stuff you expect#this littler instance of sinophobia is frustrating because it shows how normalized sinophobia is to the point it penetrates#these seemingly less important things#why should ‘people don’t deserve to be snubbed’ be a controversial take?? just because they’re Chinese???#also I am admittedly in a really poor mood#I think I fell into depression in October#and I finally kicked it a lot more than usual yesterday to do some cleaning and other productive stuff#but then I had the fight with my mom which made me feel like shit#we fought until the topic moved onto something less hurtful and explosive#but it genuinely made me explode for a while#and I haven’t exploded in some time because I try to avoid conflicts with my mom now and to keep her happy#but I’m the only one at home with her now so I have to put up with her attitude and temper#and I feel a lot of pressure overall from my family to ‘do well’ despite my interests being ‘less useful’#and my family still has other issues too that makes the pressure worse#I don’t even want to vent about my current personal issues anywhere (not with my friends or even my diary) because it’s that stressful#I genuinely don’t even want to think about it#I just kind of feel like I’m going insane
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I love taking care of people omggg 😍😍😍
#i love when i can go into nurse mode and get people what they need and run through the checklist of what helps#especially if i know the person because then i already have a handle on preferences or what they typically need#i have like. half a degree for a few things and i have a specific interest in physiology and psychology#i also used to really enjoy crisis management and peer support stuff but theres a lot of elements of that i cant do anymore#because the toll that shit takes is more than i can pay#specifically crisis related events#theres a lot I have to work through yet before i can manage those situations#anyway. my dream situation would be to work with someone to help them figure out what they need#like. assess the situation. find resources if needed. check on their ability to address basic daily tasks. make crisis plans.#start some basic dbt conversations and try to figure out what help they need and how to get it#i know some people dont want to go to a traditional psychiatrist or psychologist for whole host of extremely valid reasons#so being able to help them with self help or finding other alternatives. or just like. being a person they can regularly talk and vent to#because sometimes people don't have anyone. and just one person in their life can make a major impact#and like. its not exactly like therapy in that way. like i have the knowledge base to incorporate aspects of it in if wanted/needed#i think some people just need to be heard and that can help them move forward#and my goal isnt to like. transform you or whatever. there are people out there who need help but its hard to start#or it's difficult for them to access what they know they need#and i just want to meet people where theyre at and help them take enough small steps to being able to live how they want#like. harm reduction type shit. if you just need clean needles thats a step forward. and maybe its the only step they feel they need#to be happy. and now they can have a little bit of a safety.#like. a little more agency over how they want to live their life while improving quality of life#a step is a step man#anything that moves you toward the life you want counts#you deserve a win#the edible hit part way through so sorry if theres incomplete and tangential thoughts#also how can i do this shit for profesh??#i know similar jobs exist but theres a huge foundation of shit i just dont agree with built into them
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im exploding into a million pieces i found a reddit thread about butches in video games (specifically looking for them) in hopes that there was some kind of lesser known dream daddy-esque butch dating sim or SOMETHING cute like that and guys the fucking crumbs we have to live on you're actually killing me. im withering away why are there no kissable butches in video games im going to throw up and kill everyone. nobody wants a butch dating sim apparently. im gonna go weep in the fetal position
#everybody ignore this it's so stupid but#it's like heres a stard.ew valley mod where you can make leah butch and um idk starf.ield bg characters#and a baldgate3 character. IM CRYING WHERE ARE THE BUTCHES#'why is this making me emotional' (<- very understandable why it would make me emotional)#howling into the night sky ripping ny shirt in twain transforming into a big hairy beast bc i love butches sm#GUHHHHHHHHHH CMONNNNN#i just wanna see people's cute drawings of dykes ok. where is our version of bara#where is it please#im begginbg the universe generally#i need a hero (the song) is emanating from my pores rn. where are they we deserve so much better than this#gahhhh it's all overly palatable softgirl yuri fuckk. where are my big sweaty hairy braless deep voiced dykes im going to kill someone#when is it my turn to be happy wuagghhh#not to say i dislike softgirl yuri but i do not want to kiss them!! sorry but that is a big motivator for this#is wanting a 2d boyfriend (/dyke) because everyone else gets to have one :((#and also like. wanting to see dykes reflective of irl dykes rather than yuri for representation purposes that matter to me personally#and the gender euphoria that can often come from that but also FUCKK#nguhhhhhh oughhhhhh ahhhhhhhhgh. im such a fucking faggot im sick of this#a large chunk of the sapphic population is just completely not represented it's like they only exist in my mind#i never seen them around me either this shit sucks fuck my stupid baka life. wehehhh#exploding into a million pieces#im never expressing any kind of gay yearning again after this im done#is it too much to ask that i see people like me out there?? in many ways but tonight specifically in a butch way#ppl when they even think for a moment of making lesbian media where the dykes aren't sifted through straight attractiveness filters: 😱#again a lesbian dating dim w femmes would rule as well but it's all high schoolers and vaguely anime-hot women#and thats not good enough. it's like if they give a girl a big nose they'll fucking die immediately#maybe the real reason i consume so much homoerotic buff guy media is because SOMETIMES ppl draw them as butches#(<- not the reason but maybe loosely vaguely part of the reason)#anyway this was inspired by me watching ppl react to like. a popular pretty boy dating sim#and trying to figure out some equivalent experience for me but i can't bc none of it is made for me#killing everyone and then killing them again. hatred
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