#I just think it’s silly. if you want to be mad about this ship please do it but u guys have to stop taking the nuance out of it

[infinitegeli]

obsession with brevity and haphazardly attempting to file really extensively written characters into little boxes kills literary analysis at the stem. when you write down tcmc as just’abuser and victim’ you are actively disrespecting the media u r claiming to have a good read on and its vry audacious to also get mad at ppl for not understanding or agreeing w your 280 character parody of who these characters supposedly are

[thaliagrayce]

。*★.°*:.☆Don't Put Ship Hate In The Ship Tag☆.:*°.★* 。

[alwayssassydreamer]

Bro?

Gif not mine credit goes to the owner

just a silly little story about awkward Ace and Reader having trouble telling each other how they feel

thanks goes to a friend of mine who gave me this idea

warnings; none

A/N: wrote this late at night after a long and exhausting day - might have some flaws. Not proofread.

you don't exactly remember how you ended up on the moby dick. the only memory being that you were on a ship when a storm came up which caused you to go overboard and when you woke up you found yourself in the infirmary of the whitebeard pirates with marco tending to you. later on, they told you that thatch was the one who caught sight of your body floating in the sea and pulled you out. that was a few months ago and since you were all alone with no family left you were more then happy that whitebeard let you stay, the old man developing a soft spot for you.

you are a rather shy person and not used to all the attention you were receiving especially not from so many good looking men. sometimes you felt overwhelmed by it and sneaked into your cabin to "escape" the scene. at first the crew let you leave, giving you some time to adjust to this new situation but the longer you stayed the more you had to endure it, with them telling you that it's only for your own good and that you needed to get rid of your shyness. and they were right it really worked. you started to loosen up around them, joking, pranking and just having relaxed conversation with them. all worked pretty well except for the times Ace was around. you couldn't help yourself but the moment you set eyes on him you were stunned. he was sweet and caring and his smile could melt ice and that's not because of his devilfruit. you had fallen head over heels for him. what you didn't know though was that he felt exactly the same for you.

You walked around the deck when you saw Ace talking to Marco and you stared, long and deep. that's why you didn't see the chair in front of you until the moment you bumped against it almost falling over. "shit" you cursed rubbing your shin. "Instead of staring at Ace you should better watch out where you're going" Thatch who had witnessed the whole scene said mockingly. "i wasn't staring, the chair attacked me out of nowhere" you mumbled turning to face Thatch, a blush on your cheeks. "How sneaky of that chair" he said a small laugh escaping his lips, as he stepped closer, nudging your shoulder lightly. "Maybe we should throw the chair overboard so he will learn not to mess with you" "shut up, idiot." you replied pretending to be mad at him. "Come on, go over to him. We'll be reaching shore soon ask him if he'd like to explore the island with you" "No and i don't want to hear another word from you" Thatch just looked at you and sighed shaking his head. you were about to walk off but when you turned around you bumped into someone. "sorry" you mumbled when you caught sight of Ace and immediately looked away. "it's ok, i should apologize for sneaking up on you" Ace said rubbing the back of his head, big smile on his face. you could feel the way Thatch was trying to hold his laugh in while Izou and Marco, who approached the scene, just shook their heads. well it seemed that everyone on this ship was aware of the fact that you had fallen for the second commander, everyone except Ace. The three of them decided to watch how this rather akward scene would play out their snickering not helping at all. "Well, uhm, i thought that since we will reach shore soon you might uhm i mean you like to eat right" was he just asking you for a date in the weirdest way possible. "well i wouldn't say like since it's more of a need to absorb nutrients and thus survive" What the hell did you just say. you couldn't believe that your reply would be even worse than his question. please let me dissappear was all you could think about when you heard Izou clear his throat. "i guess we should leave these two alone now" he said motioning for marco and thatch to leave. the latter was trying his best to keep his laughter in - still in disbelief how horrible you two were at flirting. "Well since you need to eat and i like to eat maybe we could, you know since we're reaching shore soon, you and me could, like go get something to eat, if you want to" Ace asked after the three commanders left. hands playing with the hem of your shirt you looked up at Ace. "if pops is ok with that why not" you replied shyly making ace smile.

after you had settled your "date" in the most awkward way possible you both continued your duties on the ship. you were excited and nervous to finally get to spend some time alone with ace. once again your thoughts were so focused on Ace that you missed the last step of the stairs. a squeak escaping your lips before finding yourself in two strong arms. "not again! if you keep being so lost thinking about Ace you're gonna break something" izou, who had caught you before you hit the ground, scolded. "it wasn't my fault, I'm pretty sure that the stairs rebuilt themselves and added one more step. and i wasn't thinking about Ace, i was meditating" you pouted. "yeah keep telling that yourself" Izou sighed as he walked off. god izou was right, though you'd never admit that, but you seriously had to stop daydreaming so much about Ace. the rest of the day went pretty well, you helped marco in the infirmary which was distracting you from Ace but once again you managed to run into a non moving object the moment you caught a glimpse of Ace. marco only covered his face with his hands shaking his head. "if this keeps going on i'm going to throw you both overboard. and don't tell me that the table was attacking you and that this didn't happen because of Ace because we both know that you're lying." Marco said in a calm yet strict tone. "i'm sorry. it's just that i've never felt something like this before" you almost whispered, nervously tapping your feet. marco took a deep breath then gave you a warm smile. "you need to talk to him about it yoi." "maybe later"

when you finally reached shore you could feel a knot in your stomach. maybe you weren't ready for this, maybe you should just stay on the ship in the comfort of your own cabin. no, you had to do this, had to get this off your chest otherwise you would never know if he feels the same about you. taking a deep breath you left your cabin and made your way to the deck where Ace was already waiting for you. the moment he saw you a bright smile covered his face making you blush. "so you ready?" he asked and you nodded shyly. "Ace you better keep an eye on her and return her in one piece" whitebeard shouted after you. "Don't worry pops, i will protect her with my life" hearing this words made you blush even harder. the two of you walked next to each other for some time an awkward silence between you. "you sure this is the right way" you asked breaking the silence. Ace looked around. "honestly i have no idea" he said rubbing the back of his head. "sorry i should've payed more attention to thatch when he explained me the way" he added feeling a little embarrassed. "i don't mind, i like it here, it's pleasantly quiet. and i'm also having trouble paying attention to whatever thatch is saying" you joked making him chuckle.

a cold breeze hit you making you shiver. "you ok? if you're cold i could maybe, you know help you, since i'm hot you know." he stopped nervously. "i mean i'm great at being hot.... no i'm not like hot hot but....uhm i'm warm because of the devilfruit" his cheeks burning red as he stumbled over his words. "no i get it you're hot, hot is good! I like it when things are hot. Wait, no, not like that! I mean… you’re fine the way you are. Warm. Or hot. Or whatever temperature you choose to be" god you could face palm yourself right now. what are you doing, why was it so hard for you to have a normal conversation with him. this was Ace the sweetest guy you've ever met, the one who always looked out for you, made you smile and put up with your clumsiness. you bit your lower lip wishing to dissappear once again. when you looked at Ace you could see a mix of confusion, embarrassment and admiration in his eyes.

you took a deep breath. "maybe we should just keep going" you said while he just nodded. "you know if you want to get back to the ship we can just" "no, it's fine here, i mean you are here and that's all that matters" Ace stuttered. "i mean who wouldn't want to spend some time alone with you. You’re awesome. You’re smart, funny, and you always make me laugh. I mean, you’re like the perfect" he paused panicking after realizing what he just said "bro" he blurted out "Bro? did you just call me bro?" you asked laughing. "what? no! i mean yes i said bro but that's not what i wanted to say" he stammered. "oh god i didn’t mean it like that! You’re not a bro, you’re… you’re way more than that. You’re… someone I really care about. And I’m just terrible with words" he sighed burying his face in his hands. "seriously you think you are terrible with words. did you ever listen to the weird things i am saying. or the fact that i run into every non moving object just thinking about you" you knew this was the perfect moment to let this out and help Ace feel a little less embarassed. He removed his hands from his face and looked dumbstruck at you. "wait, you run into things because of me?" "well i guess i really really like you.....bro" you taunted. "oh come on don't call me that now" he groaned and you kinda felt bad but this was just too funny. "nah, i kinda like it and i think it's cute when you get all flustered bro" "I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" he asked utterly embarassed. "probably not" you teased. "but i know a way you could make up for calling me that" "oh and what would that be?" he asked curiously as you tugged on his shirt. you didn't have to say another word for he clearly understood what you meant. hands placed on your waist, pulling you closer while your own wrapped around his neck, he leaned in and carefully brushed his lips over yours. "i love you (y/n)" "i love you too" you said smiling like an idiot, heart pounding in your chest as your lips engaged in the most passionate kiss you've ever had. You felt like a heavy load fell off your shoulders, finally knowing that he was feeling the same way you did. As you broke the kiss he pulled you even deeper into him, holding you tightly. "I hope this means you stop bumping into stuff" he mocked his head nuzzling into the crook of your neck, where you could feel a small smile spread on his lips "definitely.....bro"

[v4lsang3l]

I hope Zerum has tumblr and sees this.

You and Zeal making Sebastian mean to the player just because people are mischaracterizing him is so fuckin stupid, cuz like, why the hell does it matter?? Yeah, I get that he doesn't like the player, but people liked the silly voicelines, and you got his VA BECAUSE HE WAS CUTE.

It doesnt fucking matter if people mischaracterize him imo, because like.. that happens no matter what. I've seen people say that pandemonium is babygirl. Wouldn't that be mischaracterizing as well??

At this rate, if you keep making Sebastian a bitch, people will eventually stop playing. Yes, it's a good game, but if, for example, people get annoyed or frustrated because they're dying so much, the silly voicelines might boost their mood, but by making Sebastian mean and shit, it makes people not want to even interact with him. Yeah, it's fun to use the flash beacon on him, but when he kills you out of the blue, it just doesn't make sense to me. We are paying customers, and yes, I understand that he hates the lights, but instead of having him kill the player and ruin a run, just make him smash the beacon or something. I know he does it already if you flash him once, but you know what I mean.

And with him being cAnNoNiCaLlY married to you, that's just fucking stupid. You say you're against selfshipping, yet you're doing that very thing! If you wanted him to be married to you so bad, you should've added yourself in his shop. Don't get mad because people like a character and want to ship themselves with him. He is a fictional character. Selfshipping happens all the time with fictional characters. You can't control that. And banning people from the discord server just because you don't like them doing that is just rude. Just delete their message and tell them, "Hey, please don't send selfshipping art here" or something. And with you posting that very same art with you and him just because you're married to him is hypocritical and petty.

My point is, give us back the silly voicelines (even if its just some of them), stop being a little bitch about selfshippers, and let people think what they want about Sebastian.

AND you being married to him doesn't make sense either, since he was pronounced dead for 10-13ish years, I do believe. You would've moved on by then.

[reyreadersblog]

THIS IS MY RANT

Alight, i'm a bit mad and we need to disguss something, so @f4iry-bell and me made some joke about Grayson being a virgin, since yk he never gets girl and he's just that type of person that would secretly being a virgin..BUT DAMN WHY ARE PEOPLE SO PRESEED??😭😭💀

I think i should take my words back about how i said that TIG fandom isn't toxic on this platform, bcs why are we so..idk..mad and frustrated by the fact that people are just having fun and headcanons? Bcs first it was Lyra, some of us were just exited that we were going to get a new character and potentially Grayson's love interested, so we just made some silly headcanons and fanfics about her, and some of y'all were prolly mad, i uderstand that you may don't like her, that's fine, since we don't know almost anything about her character, but we are you attacking someone who's just trying to have fun, saying "you shouldn't ship them" "i hate her" "y'all are delusional"...let people have fun, it's not that deep.

THEN when we started joking about Gray being a virgin, suddenly we're disrespecting author and invalaiding a book character's privacy?? BFFR..don't say things that doesn't make sense, first of all, people can post whatever they want, they can post fancasts, Fanfics, Silly hcs about idk..a book character's fav book, fav movie, what would dating them be like and even about sex life, bec guess what..we can. And it's not a crime to do so, we're not in 19th century to taboo this theme. And it's no disrespect to the author by the way, which if you look at JLB's intagram you'll understand, bec she says some "naughty" thing about the plot and the characters (and on last year's live she named condom brands each brothee would use and it was hilarious). Some of you are just dramatic, bec if we, TIG fandom are doing "too much" then you haven't been in many fandoms for sure.

And one again, i want to say that making a silly jokes about a book character's sex life, does no harm, nor to you, nor to the author, and especially it does no harm to the character themself, in this situation Grayson, because again, he's FICTIONAL. F-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-L. (i'll spelled it, in case you don't understand.)

Anyone in any fandom can freely talk about anything. And talking about character's sex life doesn't mean you have no respect for the author, unless they publiclly say it makes them uncomfortabe or something, and i don't remember JLB saying that.

And the most funny thing is that i've seen people make hcs about how each brother would be in the bad, how would they act when they're horny, their favourite position,nothing is wrong with them, but i've never seen anyone making drama about it, but when we say Grayson Hawthorne is a virgin suddenly some of you feel like we're disrespecting author...you know what? I have this tiny little feeling you find Grayson attractive but you don't like virgins and that's why you're making drama about it..and that's honestly..embarassing.

Author's always say "the other is up to your representation and imagination" and that's why we make HC, fanfics, fancasts, theories.

So please, don't make drama out of everything, learn to have fun and if you don't know how to, let people have fun

[beanghostprincess]

I really loved your hc about Sanji meeting Yassop and Usopp meeting Zeff and I start to think about like-

What about this with Zosan, Lusan and Lawsan?? This will be SO funny and perfect-

Just hear me: (and yes, this will be with our queen Trans!Fem Sanji)

Mihawk and Zoro going to a dinner with Sanji and Zeff because both want to know their child partner

Shanks going to Baratie 'cause Luffy insisted, and Sanji going too just to say a 'hello!' to her father and properly give the notice she's dating her captain (Luffy forgot to tell this to Shanks and he just discover he was knowing the father of his son's girlfriend when they already are in Baratie)

Law going because Sanji wanted him to know Zeff, and even hating to interact too much, he acepts because he knows how much this mean to her

And like, how you think they will react about the thing of Zeff eating his own FUCKING leg??

Okay, this is really funny- The chaos. Just imagine the chaos. Gonna try to put my thoughts into words (<- Literally a fucking writer. I'm just tired today don't blame me).

Please assume the OP world here is exactly the same but Mihawk and Shanks actually raised Zoro and Luffy. Somehow. Don't ask me how. They see them as their fathers. Zeff and Sanji's story is still the same because they're canonically family lmao. And also Transfem!Sanji as you said btw bc I love my princess.

─┉┈◈Zosan◈┈┉

The thing about Mihawk and Zoro going to a dinner with them is that Zoro and Sanji would try to behave but they would end up arguing in front of them anyway because that's just how they are and Mihawk and Zeff would end up talking alone about them tbh. Zeff offers Mihawk one of his best wines and Mihawk is- Well, you already know how Mihawk is. Their conversation is pretty polite but they keep drinking while the other two are in the background fighting for some meaningless bullshit like: "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO GET HERE FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO, STUPID MOSSHEAD" / "OKAY SO IT'S MY FAULT THAT THE SEA IS VERY ROUGH TODAY AND THE SHIP ALMOST SINKS" / "LIAR!! I'M SURE YOU JUST GOT LOST".

And it's uhhh chaotic. But there's passion and Sanji is mad because she cares about him meeting Zeff and Zoro is frustrated but actually trying to calm down. Zeff and Mihawk are very fond of tough love and passionate couples so these two fighting just means they have strong feelings for each other. However, they end up making up and sitting down with their fathers while they tell anecdotes and try to get to know each other better. Mihawk and Zeff are intimidating af and I'm like 100% sure that Zoro would be scared of Zeff at some point bc he would look at him with that look of "If you hurt my daughter I'm killing you" and Zoro is, for once in his life, scared of a cook. Then that silly topic of "Oh, yes, I ate my own leg to save this little shit of a daughter from starving to death" comes up.

Zoro almost chokes on his food and Mihawk stares at Zeff for a while, looks down at his leg, squints his eyes at him and says: It certainly is a really admirable doing. And just out of mere curiosity, was it good-

Zeff: A little bit of seasoning and less pain would've helped

Sanji: DAD, WHAT THE FUCK

Zoro: Curly, you didn't tell me your dad was cool

Sanji: OH, YES, EXCUSE ME MOSSHEAD FOR NOT TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT MY DAD EATING HIS OWN FUCKING LEG

Mihawk: I say admirable doing because you just met her, right? I would not have done something like this for this bastard right here

Zoro: Thanks, dad

Mihawk: You're welcome I let you and Princess stay with me, don't push it

Sanji: Who's Princess?

Zoro: My sister

Sanji: YOU HAVE A SISTER?

Mihawk: Zoro, you didn't tell your girlfriend about Perona?

Zoro: I forgot

Sanji: I'm going to murder you

And basically, long story short, the night ends pretty well to Sanji's surprise. Mihawk is very nice and polite to her even if he looks pretty dark and edgy, and Sanji can't believe that man raised an idiot like her boyfriend. Then we have Zeff, who shakes Zoro's hand so hard it hurts and whispers in his ear all the atrocities he would do to him if he hurt his precious princess. Things that won't happen, of course. That's why that 'would' is there. But still, he tells him anyway. Just in case.

─┉┈◈Lusan◈┈┉

When Luffy tells Shanks to go to the Baratie together, he doesn't hesitate to say yes because who would refuse to go there? What kind of pirate would he be? Sanji is already there because she decided to go a bit earlier, so Shanks instantly assumes he's just going to have lunch with his son in a very nice place and see Zeff again after a long time. When they get to the Baratie and see that Sanji is there too, Shanks assumes Sanji just stopped by too. A coincidence. He already knows that's Zeff's daughter, btw.

But then Luffy does that thing he always does, running towards someone he loves and hugging them tightly with his legs wrapped around them. And Shanks is just like "Oh, well, that's his usual behavior and he's just greeting his cook" but then they kiss and it's uh, confusing. So Shanks asks what's going on and Sanji is all like "Please, don't tell me you didn't mention this to Shanks" and Luffy just shrugs, turns around, and says "Dad, I'm dating Sanji!" then looks at his cook again smiling and Sanji sighs: "And you obviously didn't tell him this was supposed to be a thing so our dads could talk-"

Shanks: Fuck, am I meeting your dad now? Like, actually meeting him as your boyfriend's dad? That's not- Hey, Anchor, you did not mention this.

Luffy: I'm sorry! But Zeff is reaaaaally amazing!

Shanks: I am well aware that he's amazing but you need to warn me first about this stuff.

Luffy: What? It's just dad stuff-

Shanks: I AM NOT GOOD AT DAD STUFF

Then Zeff appears and Shanks tries to act like a normal father for once (he can't. He fails. It doesn't work) and they actually end up having a pretty calm and fun dinner once he relaxes, remembering that Zeff has always been cool. Luffy is extremely clingy with Sanji, a thing that Shanks already knew but never guessed it was because of them dating. And now that he sees it from a different perspective, it is clear that they're in love, even if Sanji won't stop trying to push the kid away because he's obsessed with sitting close to her and eating food from her hands and things like that. Little shit has a more stable love life than him. That's depressing.

Their laughter and joyful voices fill the whole empty restaurant and Shanks and Zeff are already a bit drunk while Sanji is dragged by Luffy to sit on his lap. And it would be embarrassing but it's not like their dads are looking at them, too caught up in their own anecdotes and stories.

Then Shanks asks how Zeff met Sanji because he knows that's not his biological daughter. He remembers Zeff telling him about his little princess years ago when Sanji was still at the Baratie and Shanks stopped by to eat with his crew. And of course, Zeff explains what happened. Their shared dream and everything. Luffy isn't really listening because he already knows the story and is too focused on his girlfriend right now. Zeff tells them about the leg thing, and Shanks starts laughing so, so fucking loud and hysterically:

Shanks: I DID THAT TOO

Zeff: You did what, too?

Shanks: Don't you notice something missing? Perhaps on the left side of my torso? There hanging? Well- Nothing hanging, actually

Zeff: You did not-

Shanks: I did not, but I lost this useless thingy saving this bastard right here

Sanji: You said you're not good at dad stuff but that's a pretty dad thing to do, huh?

Shanks: I guess so, yeah. We have more things than I thought in common, Red Leg!

Luffy: Except for cooking. Your cooking is awful.

Shanks: My cooking is amazing, Anchor, thank you very much.

Luffy: THAT'S NOT TRUE! YOU ONLY HEATED UP WHAT MAKINO MADE FOR ME

Shanks: But I did a good job!

Anyway, they surprisingly have a very nice and warm meal together without Shanks or Luffy being as chaotic as Sanji thought they'd be. When they're heading out, Zeff just pats Luffy on the shoulder and tells him to take care of his princess and appreciate her food or else he'll make him clean the dishes again but this time for years, quite literally speaking. Shanks sees the couple holding hands when they get out of the restaurant, the redhead staying behind for a second to speak to Zeff. But Shanks is already at that point of drunkness where he starts having a breakdown and he's like "Why does my kid have a girlfriend and my husband left me?????? This is so unfair. They love each other so much, Red Leg, look at them!!!!!!!" and Zeff is like "They're young and stupid too, but they'll grow up. You still haven't. Please get out of my restaurant before you make my onions cry."

─┉┈◈Lawsan◈┈┉

Law doesn't want to meet Zeff, that much is clear. He is not good at meeting new people and even less meeting father figures because God knows he doesn't have a good memory of how his relationship with his dad ended (Rip Cora-san, we miss you). But he goes anyway because Sanji keeps insisting and saying that it's important to her, and of course, Law can't say no to her. Well, actually Sanji just tells him that if he comes with her to the Baratie, she'll wear the Soba-Mask suit (Stealth Black or whatever, Sanji refuses to say those words so-) again for him some time and Law accepts almost instantly. Fucking simp.

So they go to the Baratie and Law is dressed in a white shirt and actual, proper, and almost elegant clothes because Bepo said he needed to do it in order to give a good impression, and Law, deep down, just wants Sanji to be happy. And if getting along with her dad will do it, having to deal with this torture for a few hours is worth it.

Sanji keeps telling him not to worry about Zeff because, even if it's a big step in their relationship, her dad is just a bit scary but a good guy, after all. He will like Law once he knows how much he cares about her too! But Law isn't worried about that, he just fucking sucks at social interactions. Free the introvert from having to socialize, please, he just wants to stay with his girlfriend alone and cuddle and infodump about silly little things and comics. This is highly bad for his mental health (getting out and talking to people).

But, well, turns out Zeff is actually a great guy. Even though at first he looks at his daughter intensely and says: "Why the ex shichibukai of all people? This guy looks depressed too. Have you eaten, kid? You look like a starving man. He looks like a starving man, sweetheart. You're not dating an emo bastard who does not eat" and ends up having an argument with Sanji... He's fun to be around, once he settles for feeding Law everything he can cook. And Law isn't complaining but decides not to mention how much he hates bread because he feels that sentence will end up with him dead on the floor.

However, Sanji is the one mentioning that after a while of seeing Law forcing himself to eat bread, rolling her eyes and taking it from his hands to eat it herself. And Zeff is just like "You should've said so earlier, son! Just eat whatever you like. I feed people for them to enjoy the food, goddamnit!" and Law can only nod and keep eating.

And they actually end up getting along when they start talking more and more. Law starts actually laughing and smiling a little bit and Zeff pats him in the back from time to time whenever he mentions stuff he has done with his powers. Zeff just finds that hilarious. And Sanji is happy they're getting along, but extremely embarrassed when Zeff starts talking about her childhood (Law is enjoying every second of this). Then the topic of how Zeff met Sanji is brought up, and Sanji doesn't really want Law to hear it because she didn't tell him about the leg thing. And when he finds out, he's just...

Law: You didn't tell me your dad did that for you

Sanji: It's not something I like to explain, y'know? I kind of feel guilty to this day

Zeff: You're such a cry baby, Eggplant. I already told her countless times I chose to do that and it ended up saving us both! What's the problem?

Sanji: Shut up, old man, you don't get it!

Law: I do get it. The- Uh- Feeling guilty about your dad sacrificing himself. Without Cora-san... I wouldn't be here.

Zeff: Well, kid, I don't know what your father did, but be grateful instead of feeling guilty. I'm sure he's a nice man if he raised somebody who loves my girl this much.

Law: He was a good man, yes. The best. And- I- I do love her. A lot.

Sanji has a moment where she almost cries, but she doesn't!! (She does. She goes to the bathroom and cries).

When they have to go back to the ship, Zeff stops Law and says:

Zeff: You might need to eat more, that much is clear, kid. But you take care of her and that's good enough for me.

Law: Thank yo-

Zeff: But you also strike me as someone who would die for her and even though I do appreciate the effort because I would do the same, don't die on her, got it? And eat more. Eat what she makes, actually. And you also should check if you're celiac.

Law: I'm a doctor. I know I'm not-

Zeff: Then stop bitching around and eat bread like a man, for fuck's sake.

And, you know, Zeff might be a bit intimidating but he is, after all, a good man just like Cora was.

[lyavee44]

Saudade [LEON S. KENNEDY X LUIS S. NAVARRO]

oh man, i never posted a fanfic before. im SCARED.

english isn't my first language, so i apologise for any errors in advance. and PLEASE correct me so i know better in the future!<//3

ngl it's a teensy tiniest little bit out of character, i got too silly

ion even ship them but i thought this would be really fun to write

word count - 25k

cw - COVID-19 is actually a B.O.W. (😭), mentions of death, suicidal thoughts, kidnapping, vulgar language, umbrella sucks ass, bad worldbuilding, sort-of coming out on both parts, fluff, angst if you squint, i forgor that benford kicked the bucket in 2013 so pretend he didn't 🙀 i already resurrected luis + re6 storyline is trash let's ignore it for the sake of old man yaoi

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────

This time, it can be different. It has to.

That is exactly what Leon told himself so many years ago before being sent off to rescue Ashley Graham. True, it sure was different. Nothing in his life could've prepared him for such an awakening, for having sunshine gently cascade over his face just for an eclipse to come moments later. Nothing could've prepared him for the harsh drop that left him chilled to the bone, blinded, and lost.

It's not as if he never loved before per se, he's had his fair share of flings - more or less serious. He's never been in so deep, though. He's never been one to believe in feelings to develop so quickly, either. Or rather, he didn't let himself get those feelings to bloom. Too risky to even think about it. Potentially harmful to himself and the other person. Forget it, Kennedy.

He knows there's more to life than just what he's grown to get accustomed to over the years. The stench of blood and gunpowder was practically undetectable to his nose at this point with how often he's caught onto it. It felt as if any firearm he got his hands on was molded perfectly for his callous palms, it felt natural. And yet, he knows this isn't it. This isn't what life is about, it's not about ending other beings for the sake of saving more. "Saving the world by destroying it, ain't that backwards?" is what he said to someone years ago as well. Goodness, it's been so many years and they're pouring through the cracks of his fingers. They're slipping away faster than his sobriety with every sip. Where did the time go...?

The agent sat there on his bed, right at the coffee table. His hand felt glued to the shot glass, the back of his throat beginning to burn more and more with the sting of pure vodka. He didn't even bother to buy his favourite booze, brandy, he didn't feel particularly deserving of a decent treat. If anything, he was miserable. All the years went by faster than the shots he's been downing for the past hour. While he isn't much of a lightweight, his head was fuzzy. All Leon wanted right now was to never leave his own eerily empty four walls anymore. He didn't want to bother, he just wanted the world to shut off.

And just when he was about to pour another round, his phone rang. The blonde groaned, his brows furrowing. He reached for the beat up device, checking the caller ID.

Hunnigan.

"Great," he rasped out, mumbling quiet expletives and then taking a few deep breaths. He knew better than to be impolite to his fellow support agent. She wasn't at fault for any of this madness anyway. She was just there to team up with him, and he had no business in having her deal with his low humour.

Clearing his throat, he finally picked up and hesistantly raised the phone to his ear, speaking in a groggy voice.

"Hey there, long time no speak." he tried to sneak in a chuckle, but all that came out was a short, wheeze-like scoff. The last mission he's been assigned to was maybe a month ago, and they hadn't spoken since.

"Really funny, Leon." the woman chided him in her low voice, although her retort held a hint of fond amusement. Despite everything, she cared for him like a friend would, professionalism aside. Speaking of which, she cleared her throat and forced herself to talk about what was at hand.

"Listen, there's something brewing. It isn't looking so good. It's-"

"No shit, Ingrid." he cut her off, his voice more impatient. He mentally cursed himself for snapping, although he already know what was at hand. Just another time he's gonna be getting his hands dirty for the sake of everyone else.

"Come on, Leon! What's up with you now?" Hunnigan exclaimed, already getting fed up with his attitude. "We've got something at hand that isn't looking like a regular B.O.W. It's not mutating phenotypes like the regular ones, it's more like... It's..."

"Sorry, I'm sorry." He cut her off once again, although it was uncertain if he was chiming in or apologising for his earlier behaviour. "No, it's just... Nevermind. Tell me about this."

"Thanks," The other agent huffed in response, shaking her head on the other line.

"It's as if they're coming up with someone to just straight up weaken or kill people." She finally explained as vaguely yet efficiently as she could, radio silence on the other side almost deafening her.

"Leon...?" She felt his hesistation, and it only served to frustrate her further.

"Yea, yea, m'still there," He mumbled, his voice holding a slight tremble to it. While he always kept a level head and quick wit in which he secretly prided himself in, he felt like he'll crumble any second now. He didn't know what was up with him this time, this dread...

"Leon!" Hunnigan yelled, her brows furrowed. "Turn on the video chat, I gotta see if you are in a decent state at all."

He flinched, hating the way it all got to him. He let out a grumble and clicked the video chat feature, his broken front camera displaying him in a slightly blurry picture. And yet, the redness to his nose and cheeks was obvious. Not only was he tipsy, but he seemed... shaken.

"There you are. Now, just listen. I don't know what the hell is up with you, but i wanna see you at the headquarters in half an hour. Not a minute later." The woman's brows were scrunched together, her red, round glasses gently slipping near the tip of her nose.

"Yes, ma'am." He gave her a weak smile, letting out a loud exhale when she nodded and ended the call. He hid his face in his hands, letting out yet another shaky breath.

***

"...And as you can see, it's not a regular bioweapon. All we know is that the Umbrella unit in Wuhan is probably responsible for this. We probably will have to send you and a few other agents to China for further investigation, and hopefully have you eliminate the risks." Hunnigan spoke in a levelled tone, holding a bunch of documents in her slender hands as she finished giving him an overview of the situation, although it was still too vague to take action properly. Leon stood there, really out of it. While he was showered and wearing clean clothes, he felt nasty. He was so tired, so guilty over snapping at everyone, even the kind young man at the lobby. 'God damn it Kennedy, what has he done to you?' he thought, only registering what she was saying. He spared a moment to think about the whole ordeal though, a spark of realisation dawning on him.

"Does that mean they want to... eliminate civilians in an unassuming way? With just a mutated flu, is that it?" He suggested, pointing at one of the reports on his colleague's desk.

Ingrid's eyes widened, she glanced at the document and back at him in bemusement.

"Now that's a... dark scenario. A scarily fitting one at that," She responded, her voice holding a hint of nervousness.

"Didn't we have scarier stuff out there, though? A deadly cold is still better than an ARG-esque rendition of The Walking Dead." He scoffed bitterly, shooting her a glance. Holding onto cynical humour was his only grip on sanity, the last desperate scratch at the border of being in his right mind. He was terrified deep inside, like that boy he used to be. The poor, shaken young man, covered in sewage and blood, forced to kill and hopefully not get killed. He's been running scared for so many years. It all got him want to just have it all flip backwards and let him aim the glock at his temple. He missed the cheery lad he used to be. The spring in his step, the spark in his navy eyes that restored hope in everyone's hearts is long gone.

And yet, his own heart pumped with this foolish, childish virtue.

"Leon," the woman spoke in a quieter tone, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You know you've got this. You've got it all this time. You have this resilience in you that inspires many." She tried reassuring him, patting his shoulder softly. While it was rare for her to drop her façade of stoic professionalism, she sensed it's not something worth being cold over. Like they say, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

"Yea, inspires Benford to make me a slave." He mumbled, although his expression softened at her touch.

"Thanks, Hunnigan. I... I appreciate it. We're in this together, ain't we?" He shot her a more determined look, the corners of his lips twitching up just a little bit further up. The woman nodded, a small smile making way to her face as well.

He really felt grateful for having solace in her, it seemed as they understood eachother without speaking a word. She truly was a friend to him, teaming up with him through the trenches of this rotting world.

Life couldn't be that way until the end. It has to be different someday. It has to.

***

It's been quite a bit since Hunnigan called him in, and there was no actual news. The president dialled him a few times and spoke about this as well, although he was just as confused and frantic as they all were. The ordeal sparked unsettlement in the HQ, and it soon was to spread like a sickening virus to the outside world.

Figuratively and literally.

"Agent Kennedy, I'm afraid it's going to be something we hadn't seen before, I-I need to inform you beforehand that it's a worldwide crisis..." President Benford spoke frantically, it was a bit unlike him. Leon was watching the news while on the phone with him, trying his best to focus on both.

"The countries of British Islands are currently in lockdown due to a pandemic spreading, the citizens are advised to not leave their houses without protective masks on," There it was, the thing everyone was whispering about at the DSO headquarters. It was a hush-hush topic, as no one knew for sure. Or rather, no one wanted to be sure of something like this.

"Well yes, I can definitely figure as much. The UK is already quarantined, ain't it? What about China, then? Wouldn't that make a potential mission harder to even initiate?" The man spoke up, fiddling with an empty glass in front of him. He surprisingly wasn't drinking this time around, though. He secretly hoped that the mission would've been handled differently, without his involvement. It was hard to imagine a different scenario, though. It's the sad truth - whenever there's real danger, he's gotta step in.

"No. If anything, it'll be a bit easier. Civilians will stay home, and your job will be limited to entering the Umbrella facility. You might be sent to Wuhan along a few agents that'll be chosen for the job. We won't make the team larger than maybe three units at best." The older man explained, all while Leon was rubbing his temples in annoyance.

"Sure, easier..." The blonde blurted out quietly, biting his lip. He didn't know what's been getting into him lately, something akin to a midlife crisis of some sort. While still strong and energetic, he was a wreck mentally. Like a reanimated corpse. He shuddered at the imagery, the picture hitting too close to what he's been dealing with during T-virus outbreaks.

"I will pretend i didn't hear that." The president replied in a stern voice, clearly displeased with the agent's demeanour. They were friends, but also on boss-employee terms. That came first, unfortunately.

In no time, languid days of downing whiskey and eating store bought lasagna were cut short before Leon knew it. The man was currently being transported to China with a few other agents. While they did technically form a team, he knew he'll probably have to do most of the dirty work including sneaking into the labs while they corner the scientists. His earlier apprehension and apathy was replaced with a newfound determination: he knew it's just a matter of time for a virus outbreak to come to fruition, and it's not even clear what kind of virus it really is. Nothing he's been dealing with before, yet nothing he couldn't handle. Right?

***

Wuhan, China - 01/23/2020

The blonde man's finger tapped against the barrel of his handgun nervously. It was rare for him to fidget, but something about the whole ordeal was off in general. Day of the Wacko, he thought to himself.

As him and the team were discussing details of breaking in while hiding between a field of some large containers, they came to a conclusion that the three younger agents should hide in strategic spots and eventually corner anyone who gets on Leon's tail, who's going to be responsible for investigating and essentially just sneaking around the enemy's lair. Exactly how he knew it'd go. While he was tired and annoyed, he didn't trust anyone else to do this quite like he did.

"Roost to Condor One." The slightly noisy sound of a leveled mezzo-soprano voice came from his COM, successfully cutting his pondering short.

"Condor One here, we're near the facility's rear gate. Obviously just trying to break in through the gate itself is not the way, we're trying to figure out if there's a way through the sewers, perhaps." Leon responded, keeping his voice hushed as he spoke to Hunnigan. However his attempts to stay discreet were cut short as one of the rookies shouted cheerfully that he found a sewer entrance that could directly lead to the facility. The older agent facepalmed discreetly and another young rookie chided her teammate, her tone also hushed despite the sternness.

"We've got to go there soon. Condor One out." Leon hang up, waving his hand at the rookies and trotting closer to the canalisation entrance in the ground. He wasted no time in asking the young woman for help with moving it aside, she seemed quite toned compared to the other two men they've been working with. Once they could enter, they immediately rushed inside the sewers, the last of the agents clumsily pulling the cover back on once he slipped in as well.

The way inside Umbrella's building wasn't exactly pleasant. The stench of rot and filth was unbearable, it was a real challenge to not slip on some of the disgusting, miscellaneous things on the concrete. Other agents whined under their noses, and Leon couldn't help rolling his eyes.

"When I was your age, I tumbled around worse smut." He quipped, trying to lift the mood. All he got in response were stifled chuckles, and he mentally cursed himself for his choice of words. His embarrassment was short lived once they found a ladder that could lead to the building's rear gate.

Everything else went pretty much according to plan, even Leon's silent vow to not scold the everliving shit out of his colleagues. They were clumsy, they seemed too careless. They're still kids, they've got to learn the ropes, you used to be just like them, he repeated in his mind.

While they managed to break into a cloakroom and get their hands on janitor attire, the older agent began to look for somewhere more private so he could dial Hunnigan. The whole ordeal was so vague, he didn't even know what the hell's he looking for.

"Condor One to Roost, we've successfully broke in. I'm currently trying to locate a lab, although I'm not exactly sure what I gotta look out for," He whispered while tucked away in a bathroom stall, constantly looking around for cameras. Chill out, it's illegal to monitor bathrooms... So is creating bioweapons, and yet here we are, he paled at the thought.

"From the info gathered from a spy, you should head to the third floor and look for room number 3048. That's the place suspected of having a potential new bioweapon hidden there." Hunnigan responded, catching onto his quiet voice and figuring she better be careful as well.

"Copy that. I'll go right away. Condor One out." He hang up, shoving his COM into his pocket and sighing. He carefully listened for a clue of his team's diversion starting so that he could leave and head straight to the point. The plan was to get the attention of scientists on something insignificant so that he could get to point B.

A creaky moan reverberated through the halls, and concerned voices echoed. He chuckled to himself, amused at his colleague's theatrical display. The blonde quickly snapped out of it though, double checking if he's got everything on him and beginning to head straight for the third floor.

It was surprisingly easy, all he had to do was evading a few oddly placed cameras making his way up some stairs. Looks like they're not exactly fit. Tch, the elevator's for pussies, he mused to himself. He was quiet as a mouse, reaching the third floor without even wheezing from extertion it must've taken. The hall was darker than the other ones, and just a few doors had light peeking through the cracks. The most dim, barely visible brightness was right at the spot he was just meant to find - lab 3048. Bingo.

The agent quietly sneaked closer, looking around for security cameras. To his surprise, there was only one, and it only recorded the other end of this hallway. As he walked, he stopped in his tracks right at the large, white door. Was he supposed to just barge in and get attention on himself or what? His hesistation and also his perfectly seamless approach was ruined by his COM ringing, making him hiss out a panicked curse as he quickly spoke to the device, his voice oddly high and quiet.

"Not now, Hunnigan! Not now!!" he pleaded, hearing someone behind the heavy door scrambling frantically. Before his informator even responded, the entrance was swung open by someone.

This encounter had this person fall back to his chair, slumping in it while breathing heavily as a few of the messy documents on his desk were sent flying to the floor.

"Leon, what are you doing here?!" the person shouted, his eyes blown wide.

The agent stood there, not even reaching for his gun with how shocked he was. However, his stunned expression quickly gave way to fury as he stormed to grab the man by his shoulder, pinning him harshly to the desk's corner as he grabbed his firearm and pointed it at his head. The man hissed, his brows furrowing, even though he only flailed a bit to try and squirm away.

"Luis, what the fuck?! Was that whole ordeal staged? Are you still working with that mad woman?! You bad fucking liar, how could you do this," he rasped, his ocean blue eyes piercing into the Spaniard's brown ones in utter rage. His grip on his shoulder never lessened, mercy barely holding onto him by a thread.

Luis Serra Navarro. There he was. Not blown up somewhere in the Valdelobos mine, being remember by Leon as a remarkable example of self fueled redemption and determination. There he was, putting utmost care to working for the very company that ruined many lives, ruined Leon's life, crawling back to eat from their hands like a pathetic bitch. Yes, that's what he is, a bastard mutt that betrayed him.

And yet, a twinge of something bright tugged at his heartstrings. He's alive and well. Right in his arms, just inches between them. This childish hope alongside a whirl of questions flied around his head like a bunch of wild bats, the more regretful and frustrated ones mixed with the more... exciting ones, in a way. Did he miss him? What was he up to? Has he thought about him? How did he stay so sweet?

"Amigo, let me explain-" Luis wheezed out the plea, his expression full of remorse. He yelped quietly, his eyes squeezed shut when Leon only snarled in response.

"I am NOT your amigo. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is that some sick joke? Was the cash worth more than your honour?" he mocked him sternly, gripping his shoulders until his knuckles were white. Deep inside, he was terrified and basically screaming at himself to drop the gun. He didn't want to shoot, not at him. Betrayed or not, it's still Luis. Very real and very much still himself. His soft brown locks pulled into a tiny bun at the back, the perfectly sunkissed skin, his stubble grown just a little more than usual. Just like he remembered.

"Mi vida, please! I-" the scientist coughed, shaking. He looked like a wet dog, to put it lightly. His state was worrying. The eye bags he normally had were way deeper and darker in hue. His hair was messy and a bit oily. His normally syrupy lips were chapped. Did he really remember them as syrupy? God damn it, but they never kissed. Why was he even thinking like that?!

Sighing, he lowered the gun and slightly lessened the grip on Luis' arm. He nodded at him, although he was moments from snapping again.

"Back in the mines, it was a terrible deal with me. Ada-"

"Of course it's Ada. Is it all her bribery? Don't you have your own mind, your own view?" Leon cut him off with something akin to resentment and sadness in his voice, scowling as he shook the handgun menacingly.

"Sancho, Sancho... don't think about it like that. She paid good money for saving my life. They restored most bodily functions, although my nervous system is still quite, uh, jodido." The Spaniard offered a bashful grin at the last part, hoping to light up the mood. However his next admissions weren't so cheery.

"I'm gonna be straight with you. It was either getting back to working for those bastards, or death and no chance of ever starting over." Luis deadpanned, his head hanging low. He looked ashamed and miserable, his defeated expression making him almost unrecognisable.

Leon's hand trembled as he lowered his weapon down to his waist, then hooked it in its place and came up to engulf his long lost friend in an embrace, earning a loud squeak from him.

"Ay, ay! Careful...!" The brunette whined, a bit surprised, although in a pleasant way. He quickly melted into the clumsy hug, patting his back.

"I'll get you out of here. You'll see." Leon spoke in a hushed tone, repeating reassuring words to his long lost friend, lost love perhaps. He never believed in feelings developing so quickly, yet everything they did together only ensured him that they've got to stick together.

"But-"

"No buts, Luis. Listen, you're better than this. You know you are," Leon whispered against his neck, pressing his cheek against his. He hoped it wasn't too... obvious. It'd be weird if he swung that way. Or if himself did as well. Doesn't he sway there already?...

The Spaniard shuddered, his head spinning. He was truly touched, his hand slowly trailing down to hold the agent by the waist.

"Listen, we can cooperate. I will tell you everything about the project, as I'm sure you're there for our little... cold." He began speaking, his lip all bitten from unease. He was grateful to run into his old mate again, yet the circumstances only reminded him of the time when he was still a fishy creep to Leon.

Leon loosened, pulling away with a confused expression before realisation downed on him, his jaw agape.

"So you're responsible for the COVID-19 outbreak...?"

"No, well, yes, but not quite," The man fumbled, with the hem of his labcoat, looking away.

"I was forced into the project under the threat of my past being exposed to the general public. I wouldn't hired in any other lab. I would probably be turned in for cooperating with terrorists. I didn't want to rot in Alcatraz or some other hellhole, but being cowardly isn't so great either..." He rasped, his voice full of remorse.

The blonde man looked down to his friend's gloved hands, the sterile scent of the lab mingling with his spicy, tangy perfume made him dizzy. In an oddly pleasant way at that. He scoffed quietly, raising the man to his feet.

"Listen, I have a plan. I'll pretend to capture you and deliver you to the US. Then I will convince the president to make you work for the S.T.A.R.S. researcher team."

"So I'll technically be held hostage, is that it...?" Luis sneaked in an uncertain giggle, shooting Leon a worried smile.

"No, dumbass. It's not a bad fate, trust me. I can absolutely get you out of legal consequences. My connections better be useful for once," Leon huffed, giving him a pat on the shoulder. He was determined to save his friend, score in the eyes of Benford, and maybe even...

He bit his lip, turning his head aside stubbornly and grabbing handcuffs from his belt. Luis shot him an alarmed look, but Leon only gave a nod in return and gestured him to stay still.

"Just let me do this. And dramaturgy will be much appreciated," He quipped, coming closer to restrain the brunette man, his hands behind his back now. He let out an indignant huff, shooting him a playful glance.

"Now that's one way to shortcut a date, Sancho."

Leon spluttered, giving him a smack to the hip.

"What- nevermind, let's just go. Pretend you're resisting," he murmured, grabbing Luis' wrists and dragging him to the exit, he also had his pistol ready to open fire, his focused and stern expression back in its full glory.

"Ah-a, there he is. Leon The Professional." Luis chuckled, winking smugly. All he got was a scoff in return, his wrists getting yanked harder.

"Just shut up. I wanna kidnap you properly," he muttered, squeezing the scientist's hands together.

"So much for a compliment..." Luis complained, pouting like a child.

***

The next few hours were a whirlwind of shooting up the damn place, successfully taking out quite a few guards and securing the SARS-COV-2 sample for further information. The other units cheered, shooting mockery at Luis every now and then. The Spaniard clenched his teeth, sitting through the constant jabs to his ego. Leon wasn't exactly pleased either, wishing he could just hold him instead of keeping a hawk's eye on the cuffed man. Hold him? What the fuck? He shook his head, unaware of the fact that a certain brown-eyed Hispanic 'hostage' was returning his concerned, fond gaze.

***

"Kennedy, what were you thinking? Bringing an enemy to the White House, is this some kind of joke?" president Adam Benford lamented, constantly pacing his office as Leon stood there awkwardly, holding his friend by the cuffs firmly yet gently.

"He could be a valuable asset, look at it like that," he began to nervously defend his plea for hiring Luis as the US government's bioweapon researcher, although the words he uttered burned. He didn't like referring to him as an 'asset', not even one bit. It gnawed at him to refer to his be- his friend in such a condescending way.

"Sure, because he knows all about it firsthand." Benford pointed out bitterly, glaring at the sheepish Spaniard before him. His head was hanging low, deep breaths escaping him.

"I... Mister President, I truly want to help. I was blackmailed, and I wish to-"

"Death is a better fate than rotting away in Umbrella HQ!" Benford deadpanned, the following silence hanging so heavy it could fill a deaf person with dread. Luis flinched, his head turning to the side as if he's been slapped.

Leon's brows furrowed, his grip on Luis' hands lessening just a bit. No, he isn't having it.

"You're not wrong, yet you must understand that Doctor Serra isn't a bad man. He was a great comrade back in Valdelobos, and..." He retorted defiantly, not relenting. He was dead set on freeing his friend at all costs.

"He betrayed you, Agent Kennedy. It's not what a good person would be up to." the president spoke with a desperate tinge to his tone, doing his best to just lead his best unit away from such a reckless idea.

"There's something you don't know, though. I was there when COVID-19 was created. It's not as complicated to me, I... I could figure out a vaccine," Luis spoke up at last, his voice scratchy from the scarce use of it for the past ten hours or so.

"In the eyes of a global pandemic and so many casualties so far, you're just now thinking about taking action? Is it remorse, or just a bastardly calculation to save your skin?" the president was seething, his words coming out as a low growl through clenched teeth.

"Adam, come on!" Leon begged, resorting to a first name basis with the representative figure of the United States himself. They are on good terms, sure, yet he's still a higher-up. Not only to him, hell, to everyone.

Benford sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. It wasn't going to be a quick chat, that's for sure.

***

After long debates, weeks of house arrest and special force surveillance on Luis, a decision has been made. He's been assigned to cooperate with doctor Rebecca Chambers, a skilled genius among the S.T.A.R.S. scientists. Beat up, neglected in terms of health, with his old stab wound still restricting his movement somewhat, Leon made it his mini mission to nurse the Spaniard back to health. Well, he had nowhere to go, and he was assigned to look over him, keeping it in his apartment was the wisest choice...

Luis Serra Navarro was a free man who started a new life. Proud of himself and yet still guilty of contributing to the worldwide crisis, he worked like a busy bee to create an optimal kind of vaccine. Doted on and looked after by his amigo, he couldn't help but feel warm inside at the mere though of him. The blonde man's hair was already darkening as he aged, his bushy brows were always furrowed, yet he looked somewhat boyish still. Angelic, if he was allowed to think that. His Italian heritage came as a great surprise to the Spaniard, resulting in light-hearted teasing and playful quips in broken Italian. Luis' jokes sometimes brushed against the thin line between banter and flirting, and while the subject of them was pretty clueless, he did get that weird flutter sometimes.

***

Sitting with his legs crossed by the large window, Luis stared down at the dusky sky, sun setting behind many buildings of Washington DC. He sipped tea, unwinding after a long 24 hour shift of relentless work over the coronavirus shot. Leon was in the middle of cooking up a decent carbonara. His hispanic roommate often scolded for not knowing his way around the kitchen, saying how it's disgraceful for an Italian to suck so bad he could burn water in a kettle. While not letting it show much, the agent's ego was deeply wounded. He was dead set on proving he could replicate the hearty meals from his childhood. Whew, his childhood... Rough and cold, being tossed around and shoved aside as he was born into the Kennedy mafia, confessing it all to Luis was quite the hard candy, to put it lightly.

After twenty minutes of quiet noises reverberating through the small apartment, Leon was slowly stepping closer to his friend's side. Shaking his head, he forced himself to sit on the floor as well. He hated being 'improper' or however he put it, but his beloved's habits felt like the law.

Speaking of which, his eyes lit up at the sight of toasty food and his... saviour, so to speak. He hummed in approval when he sat by his side, nodding and whispering softly.

"Muchas gracias, mi estrella. It smells scrumptious." He smiled fondly, grabbing a fork and taking a bite of fresh carbonara. His eyes widened, and he hummed while shoveling a few more forkfuls of food, much to Leon's amusement.

"Did I improve that much?" he asked in a teasing tone, eating his portion more slowly.

"It's delish, Sancho. You've come a long way, I'm proud of you." Luis sighed in contentment, practically inhaling the food.

His words made Leon's heart stir, a bit of hesistation giving way to a shoot of confidence. He didn't know what got into him all of a sudden. He set his plate on the floor next to them, earning a puzzled hum from the Spaniard. The small noise morphed into a soft yelp when Leon leaned in closer, his forehead pressing against Luis' with his eyes half lidded. They stared deeply into his hazel ones, a low purr escaping him.

"So did you, Don Quixote. I'm proud of you as well," he whispered, his nose brushing against his. The blonde's freshly shaved beard contrasted with the brunette's scruffy stubble, making for a nice completion. Like polar opposites, they gravitated towards eachother. Leon's cold navy eyes were full of this spark that everyone thought was dead and gone.

"Dios mio..." Luis whispered, enamoured and captivated with the sight before him. He took in every small scar, every mole and birthmark, everything about the Adonis' offspring before him.

Leon's hand cupped his face, and he planted a tiny peck on the tip of his nose. It was barely there, yet it held more than just a pleasant gesture. It meant closure. It meant tenderness. It meant something that they both didn't dare to say out loud.

***

Leon was never exactly up for forming a family. He's quite good with kids, also he adores and loves women, sure. Both him and Luis have a reputation of being cheeky and flirty all the time. And yet, this feline magnetism in both of them didn't clash, it merged. With Leon's tenderness that mixed with smugness and Luis' carnal and candid demeanour, they completed eachother. And that's what made it a match made in hell we call our planet.

────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────୨ৎ────────

[theondnonly]

it's only been 3-4 days and I still am in a break but holy moly bro, the Zerum with Sebastian situation is mad crazy.

usually I avoid drama in fandom, but I think I should give a piece of opinion this time. Why are y'all so mad that Sebastian is canonly married? Or is that even what y'all are mad with at this point? I get it, Zerum made a lot of "irritated" choices, but Sebastian is still rightfully HERS and still is HER character, if she wants him to be taken, then so be it, the fact that she have to deal with many hate and d3@th thr3@t over wanting HER character to be taken/not single,it is insane.

I do not want to sugarcoated or take sides either, what she did is unprofessional and immature, but I still don't think she deserves to be treated so badly by the fandom. "But Zerum doesn't want us to self-ship with her character!!!! She doesn't want us to have fun!!!" Last time I checked, Zerum doesn't want to have selfship IN THE DISCORD SERVER, and if you're on the server, follow the rules or just simply leave? You can still post it freely on any platform (take this as a grain of salt tho since my memory isn't the best, feel free to tell me if I'm talking stupid)

and who cares if he's married, bro y'all can literally make an AU where he is still single and a silly fish guy who sells items for the expandable like I did, it's not that difficult, use your brain come on. I see people make AUs, change a character's design/personality, and ship them with someone from a different fandom, nobody will bait an eyes

last thing, I'm sick and tired of people seeing one small misinformation about Zerum, and immediately agree on it just to hate on her, friendly reminder she's still human, she has feelings too, and maybe a lot of irl problem, can we please be a decent human and leave her alone? She is gatekeeping HER character, not murdering someone.

I do not agree with Zerum's choices, but I still wish her the best after everything, she doesn't deserve to be ridiculed imo, I know this isn't gonna change much, but a tiny voice is better than being silent forever.

I apologize if this is a long rant/post and the wording is hard to read btw, I'm not good with writing or make a lot of sense out of it, but I hope you get what I'm trying to say

TLDR : Zerum's action is immature, sure, but the way the fandom treats her over a fictional character is stupid.

[luffyvace]

Hello ~~~ hope your day is going well so I was wondering if I could please Nami ,Robin,Boa,Vivi x male reader that has the mizu mizu no mi also known as water water no mi. Some headcanons please. Thank have💗💗 a amazing day!!!

hiii! Yes it is!! Thank you! <3 how’s yours dearest?

a op girl fan I see~ (me too😍)

wow mizu mizu is a very broken and op devil fruit! Love this topic! No problem and you have an awesome day love!

🪴Nami🍊

in all honesty?

your 100% gonna have to protect this girl. 💥💥

Obviously she has clima tact and can protect herself but dang you the man of the relationship 😜😜

you got it right baby boy? 😚😚

yeahh you do 💋

You have a MAD broken devil fruit so there’s no weaknesses for you

thats like legendary luck man

peak luck.

nami always ends up falling somehow (sometimes into water—poor girl) so this is the perfect power to save her

you can probably manipulate water so you easily move the water out the way

cuz if there’s no water you can’t drown right? 🙏

or maybe you use it to carry her back on to land

although she’d prefer if you moved it

its less scary

”wait til I get back here with m/n! He’s gonna kick your butt!!”

- nami says while running away from a strong enemy

of course she could do it but it’s the same thing how she always calls for luffy

now she calls for you 💗

she feels really special to have such a strong boyfriend

and ultimately protected

she always has a little smirk on her face when other pirates try to throw you into water to drown you only for you to start. swimming.

they’re reactions is hilarious !! 😂😂👌

definitely favors you over the rest of the strawhats men (of course! she loves you🧡)

📘Nico Robin📖

Robin is certainly intrigued!

she asks you all sort of questions such as where did you find the fruit? How much water can you control? Can you swim? Is there any side affects? You really don’t have any weaknesses? Can I see you use it in action? Can you only control it, or generate it too?

yeah she’s very curious ☺️

your devil fruits are polar opposites but you two make a powerful duo!

pirates have learned to stay away from you two for sure

its actually very good that your powerful considering the world government tryna get yo girl! 😤

protect Robin!! 💪💪😾

obviously she strong so she can protect herself 😍😍🙏

and hey we like that here 😘

but I will say she was very appreciative after you saved her back in enies lobby

you likely drowned all those ships that were sent

you comforted her about the buster call situation after all was said and done

that moment truly brought you two closer together

she was hesitant to leave you in the first place but she wanted to keep you safe even more than that

Of course she has the strawhats

but your the only one she loves on such a deep level

On a romantic level, she couldn’t loose you.

silly Robin, you would sweep government off they’re feet before they could even think about hurting either of you. ☺️💖

and you will if they ever try again

💗Boa Hancock💗

Boa adores you in every which way

your more than capable of handling business yourself

(wait real quick I just realized m/n is the definition of standing on business 🗿💪😼)

even so Boa doesn’t want you to lift so much as a finger

the second a threat comes within a 15 meter radius of you (farther if your on the island of women currently) they’ve been turned into stone

or pierced by a million arrows fired by the Kuja clan

which I mean, again—if your on the island of women I doubt that’ll need to happen since your surrounded by sea kings and thousands of women ready to lay they’re lives on the line for you—Hancock’s one and only love

So you probably hardly get to use your powers unless you leave

like if your a warlord or need/want to go out for whatever reason you may have

because I assure you, you have all you could ever want at your palace

then yeah you’ll probably end up using them more as you fight alongside Hancock

if you wanna go out n such she’ll 100% understand tho

she could never say no to you ☺️😚😚

you’ll probably leave more often if your a pirate with your own crew

because otherwise she wants you on hers

Which i’m sure you wouldn’t mind 💕

when the marines try to come and talk to your girlfriend or you and you know it’ll annoy her—you make waves to send the ship away 😂😂

she appreciates this and kisses you on the cheek for it every time

”ah! Thank you my sweet m/n!” *chuu* “I appreciate it honey!” 💋😊😊

👑Neferatari Vivi🐥

WAIT THIS BEING YOUR DEVIL FRUIT WITH VIVI IS SO PERFECT

NONNY YOUR A GENIUS 💥💪😎

this literally solves everything!!

Let’s say you can generate water right? Now everyone can have some!!

the drought problem is over!!

or if you can’t generate but can control it, you can take it over from the ocean!

you know what- at this point she likely falls in love with you after finding out you can do that/the one who did

not to be typical

but I mean I said after

thats just when she meets you

she loves how kind you are and the fact that you’ve saved her people!

she’s so thankful!

you likely get promoted to a high ranking if you stay in alabasta

but if you don’t she tells you to come visit again for sure! your always welcome!

congrats m/n! Your a hero!

if you have a big rep as a pirate you could possibly become a admiral if you accept :)

because vivi and her dad definitely spread good around on your name after all you’ve done for them!

if you were a strawhat when she met you, you solved the situation way faster and helped luffy beat crocodile!

Your literally his ultimate weakness 😂😂💪

but since m/n is vivi s/o in these hcs you obviously get together

dang since you gonna marry vivi (bc you surely will💗) y’all gon be queen and king!!

you finna be a KING dawg!

(Like the one you are)

common m/n w 😎🙏

you rightfully deserve the position after all you’ve done

happy marriage y’all 💙

keep your girl safe bc I know your more than able to <3

I loooove these hcs!! I’m so happy I got to write more for these girls and my first time writing for vivi!

this actually makes me wanna write for them more…heavy on boa and vivi they so FIIIIINE they don’t get talked about enough 😔

hehe anyways enjoy precious anon~

[lulublack90]

About Me

Hi there, Lulu here.

I do have a real name but I prefer to go by Lulu on here and Ao3 so please use that.

I go by she/he/they. Call me what you want I don't mind. It changes day by day for me in the real world, but my friends and family don't know that.

I'm pansexual but again only a few people know that.

I'm in my 30's but have the maturity of a teenager unless I'm in parent mode when I have to pretend to be a grown-up (It does not last long!).

I am a huge huge huge Harry Potter fan (Fuck JK, she's a dick!) My house is full of so many HP-related items. In fact, I think every room has something in it, thank the gods my husband is also a massive nerd.

In case you can't tell I am Neurospicy. I am in the middle of getting diagnosed with ADHD and by that I mean I am procrastinating actually starting the process.

Now where was I?

Oh, yeah I like so much stuff I can't think what else to put here but yeah Harry Potter, mainly Marauders era but I love anything really.

My fav ships are Wolfstar (I've loved them since I was a young thing and didn't even know it was a thing." Jegulus (My new love.) Dramione (Lord have mercy) Drary (Lord I need more mercy) Pandalily (Meep!) Dorlene (Squeek!) I like Marylily as well but not as much, but I love them when I read them.

My asks are open and you can send me whatever you want, no hate please no one needs that in their life and Tumblr is my happy place don't spoil it.

Things that make me happy

You guys. Honesty it's Tumblr, I've only just really found this and all you amazing people who like my silly stories that I've only been writing regularly since December 23 when I found you all. My husband and son make me happy and so do my dogs and cats. I love watching storms and autumn. I read a lot, I crochet, I knit, I write. I am a huge fan of chocolate. If you give me chocolate I will be your friend.

Music

Bowie. Nuff said.

But yeah I like a lot of different stuff, it depends on my mood as to what I listen to. I drive my husband mad because I like songs by lots of people but I can't remember what they're called or who they're by.

Books

My all-time favourite book will always be Prisoner of Azkaban. It is my happy place.

My house is full and I mean full of books. I don't actually know how many I have but last time I estimated I had 300 in my bedroom alone. (There are piles of books in every room 😬)

ACOTAR!!!

Shows/movies

Harry Potter, The Martain, The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Hunger games, Twilight (Don't judge me they got me through a dark time.), How to train your Dragon, Disney anything, plus others there are so many and I'm bored of listing.

Good Omens, Schitts Creek, Parks and Rec, Bake off, Handmaids tale, It's always sunny, community, Harbin hotel, archer, vampire diaries. Plus more but yeah typing.

Okay I think I'm done but who knows I might add more if I remember.

Love you all

Lulu

xxx

My Ao3 List

These are my fanfics on my ao3

Bitten M- Remus, Sirius and James head to the forest for a fun full moon. Everything is going great until one of them has an accident. (This was the very first fanfic I wrote. It's okay.) Wolfstar. Complete.

The Prisoner T- Sirius Black has been wrongly imprisoned for 12 years. He's bided his time but now its time to escape and right the wrongs of the past.

The Prisoner of Azkaban as told by Sirius Black, filling in the gaps starting with his escape from Azkaban. Wolfstar. Complete.

The Cupboard E- Hiding from Filch and awaiting rescue things get a bit close in the cupboard between Remus and Sirius. Wolfstar smut one shot. Complete.

Birthday E(I think, I'm not good at telling) Sirius finds Remus alone in their dorm room instead of enjoying the party downstairs. Wolfstar. Complete.

The One That Got Away E- James agrees to throw a party at his house. Sirius asks to bring his little brother, how could that possibly affect James at all? Based on the micro fic series I wrote in January. Jegulus. Backcould Wolfstar. Complete.

Jegulus Prompt Series All the prompts I've written on here in one place.

Wolfstar Prompt Series All the prompts I've written on here in one place.

The Way They Were T - While Harry is clearning out Grimmauld Place he discovers that Wolfstar were a thing.

Love Hate and the Ability to Change M - Sirius is taking Remus to the hosital wing on the full moon and Regulus catches them kisses. After some rather nasty words Regulus tells Sirius something about himself.

The Way They Are M - Part two of The Way They Were. Harry and Draco spend more time together and Draco finds another box for Harry, this time from Remus.

[techhasmjolnir]

Fill in the Blank

The Bad Batch (all members) x GN! Reader

Plot: It's not too long after you and the boys rescue Omega from Kamino, and you're trying to lie low until the heat on all of you dies down. The forest moon of Endor is your current hideaway, and you're trying to kill time one night by playing a simple game...

Author's Notes:

I apologize in advance for this, because it's exceptionally stupid, and I absolutely love it. I came up with this after having a conversation about what kinds of games the Batch might enjoy, and I casually mentioned it would be hysterical to play the classic silly party game, Mad Libs, with them. There's not much action in this story as it's heavy on dialogue, so if that's not really your thing, you might want to skip this one. If you want complete brain rot, then this is for you.

Important Notes: This can be considered a (mostly) SFW story. The NSFW content could technically constitute profanity, sexually suggestive terms, and straight up gross descriptions...you know, the way Mad Libs is supposed to be played! There's also an admixture of words from the SW universe along with common words we use on Earth. Just getting that out there before someone has to leave a comment of, “that doesn't exist in Star Wars...” Shhhh. This is my story. Be quiet.

Nobody was exactly thrilled with Tech's suggestion to seek refuge on the forest moon of Endor, but after liberating Omega from Kamino, you were left with few options for sanctuary. With credits low and rations even lower, Hunter relented, and now you've been in seclusion for nearly a galactic week while waiting to hear from a fixer you knew on Ord Mantell. Having Omega with you complicated everything, and it was a rude awakening trying to adjust to her boundless energy, enthusiasm, and curiosity. You and the guys tried to keep her occupied, but it became a struggle very quickly.

You planted the suggestion of having a bonfire one night to break the monotony of always piling back into the Marauder at nightfall, in addition to providing some type of enrichment for Omega. Omega was especially excited because she had never experienced one before, and Wrecker offered immediately to go look for kindling – with Omega in tow. You hoped this would be relaxing for everyone and at least for awhile, help take their minds off the gravity of the situation. It didn't take long for them to locate an assortment of downed branches and a few dry logs, and in minutes, Wrecker had the fire going.

“Don't get too close, 'Meg,” Wrecker cautioned. “It's real easy to burn yourself, and then you'll look like me!”

“Wrecker, don't tease her like that,” Echo chided as he slid down to the ground and leaned against a decaying tree stump. “More like, don't frighten her.”

“I'm not scared!” Omega interjected as she went to sit beside Hunter, stretching out her arms and legs, basking in the radiant heat. “I'll stay right here by Hunter, where it's safe.”

“It is safe everywhere as long as you stay close to us, Omega. For now, please try and relax,” Tech called as he emerged from theMarauder with datapad in hand, tapping on it as he sat down next to you, Crosshair on your other side.

“I see you didn't bring the spotchka with you, Tech,” you said with amusement as you nudged his shoulder. “Yes, I know all about the stash you guys have onboard. It's an unspoken rule that having a campfire means you're supposed to do at least a little imbibing. Maybe tell a few stories, dare people to do stupid things... You know, unwind and have fun.”

“Might I ask how you knew about –”

“It doesn't matter, Tech. I'll go get it. After the events of the past week, I think we could all use a drink,” Crosshair interrupted as he stood up and disappeared into the ship, and returned with not one, but several bottles cradled in his arms, and a small stack of cups balanced carefully in one hand.

Hunter glared at him disapprovingly, then looked down at Omega's small form nestled against him as if to say, “Really? In front of the kid?”

“What? One's for me and you can split the rest,” Crosshair said as he tossed a bottle to Wrecker and set the other down by you and Tech, then returned to his spot, not bothering to use a cup in favor of taking a long swig straight from the bottle.

“Well, I would say 'cheers,' but since there's not much to cheer about, how about “here's to surviving another day,” you said a little more solemnly than you intended as you raised your cup, the the rest of them following suit.

Silence reigned uncomfortably for awhile as you all started to loosen up, all the anxiety and tension leaching out with each mouthful of spotchka. You caught yourself staring across the fire at Hunter and Omega, his arm curled around her protectively. Shadows danced across her tiny face as she grew mesmerized by the way the flames licked at the firewood, and memories of you as a child sitting around fires with your friends flooded your mind. Then it dawned on you that there was a game you always used to play with them on nights like these that never failed to leave all of you exhausted from laughing.

“All right, this feels too much like a funeral, boys. This is not what having a fire is supposed to be like,” you said as you put down your cup. “I have something that should significantly lighten the mood.” You got up and everyone turned to watch you dash off to the ship, wondering what you were up to. When you returned, you held a few small books, a pen, and some water for Omega.

“Ta-da! I just remembered I had these. I keep them on hand for cheap entertainment during those long, boring hyperspace trips, when browsing the HoloNet won't suffice.”

“Hm? What do you have there?” Tech asked, adjusting his goggles as he tried to read the title of the topmost book.

“This,” you said triumphantly, “is only the greatest party game to ever exist. It's a classic on my homeworld, and I think you all might really like it. It's a word game—”

Wrecker groaned, then downed the rest of his spotchka. “A word game? That doesn't sound fun at all.”

“You didn't let me finish! This is a game for people who don't like games,” you said, purposely turning to look at Crosshair, who shrugged at you. You looked over at Wrecker and continued, “One person picks a story that has certain words omitted, and they don't tell the players what it's about. Instead, the players are asked to provide words to fill in the blank spaces in the story. When the story is finished, it's read back to the players and then they discover just how hilarious, shocking, gross, or just plain stupid their creation is. Sound like something you'd be interested in?”

“Well...when you put it like that...it doesn't sound so bad,” Wrecker replied as he poured himself another round. “Tech, you would be good at this.”

“Oh...there's just a few things you need to know before we do this,” you added. “I kind of made up my own rules with how to play, and I make it mandatory that you are to make your ideas as weird, vulgar, or...suggestive as possible. It's sort of tradition at this point.”

“Which means it's bedtime, Omega,” Hunter said. “This doesn't sound like this would be an appropriate game for you.”

“No, Hunter, please let me stay! I don't want to go to bed!” Omega protested as she stood up and brushed off her tunic, looking down at Hunter with the best pout she could muster.

“Let the kid stay, Hunter. She's been coddled enough,” Crosshair rasped after taking another long pull of spotchka. “Besides, she might come up with something better than any of us.”

“All right, fine. But if things get too out of hand, you're going to bed, Omega, and that's it,” Hunter sighed.

“That is such a dad response,” you snickered, not aware of the glare Hunter shot back at you. “All right, we're getting distracted, here. Are you guys in or out?” You started flipping through one of the books to find something that would be an easy introduction.

“I think we're in... Omega looks like she's about to launch out of excitement,” Echo chuckled.

“Good, because I've picked one out that's quite relevant. Do I need to go over the parts of speech, or is everyone set? Honestly, I think I might be more excited than Omega,” you laughed. “It's been a long time since I last played this. One thing before we begin – I don't usually ask each person individually for a word. You can all say whatever comes to mind, and I'll use the one I like best. Oh, Tech...before I forget...”

Tech turned to you with a quizzical expression on his face. “Forget what? It appears you have everything you will need, at least for the moment.”

“Remember what I said about making the stories as messed up as possible? That means I'm putting you on notice that you are going to have to offer up ideas that are completely tasteless.”

Crosshair spluttered and coughed violently, nearly choking on his spotchka. When he recovered, he started laughing so hard, you thought he was going to mess himself. “Tech speaking like a reg?! I'll believe it when I hear it! We heard him swear ONCE back when we were cadets, and we never heard him do it again.”

“I told those other cadets not to touch that droid, if you recall. It was their own fault what happened to them,” Tech replied huffily. He sighed and then looked at you. “Do I have to?” he asked, not sounding thrilled. “I do not prefer using crass language if at all possible.”

“Yes, you have to. Otherwise we are all going to goad you mercilessly all night until you do. Be a good sport, Tech. I promise it won't tarnish your reputation or insult your intelligence if you let slip a little vulgarity, okay?”

“Come on, Tech, play along and live a little,” Wrecker said as he gulped down the last of his drink, belching pleasurably and grinning at Omega, who was giggling helplessly.

“Okay, here we go. If anyone needs me to explain what a certain part of speech is, just stop me. For the first prompt, I need a plural noun.”

“Are you referring to common or proper nouns?” Tech asked. “We will require clarity before providing adequate responses.”

“Common noun, Tech. Proper nouns will be described specifically, like “a city,” or “name of person.” Stuff like that. So, guys...and Omega. What do you have? Don't be afraid to just say whatever comes to mind. That's the whole point of this game.”

It was silent for a moment until Crosshair chimed in a little too gleefully with, “street whores!”

Echo spit out his mouthful of spotchka and started coughing, while the others turned to look over at Crosshair, who had a complete shit-eating grin on his face. You, however, started laughing silently, already noting the story was destroyed with just one entry completed. Omega started giggling again and you couldn't tell if she was doing it because of Echo, or because of what Crosshair said. Your suspicions were confirmed when she leaned in and asked, “Hunter, what's a street whore?”

“I'll...tell you when you're older, kid,” he replied as he kneaded his temples, knowing by the end of the night he was going to have a massive headache, and not from the spotchka.

“Street whores, it is!” you confirmed, this time audibly laughing as you wrote it down. “For the next one, I need an adjective.” Wrecker and Omega looked at you blankly, and you added, “adjectives describe something or someone. For instance, “quiet.” As in, “Tech is being quiet.”

“Horny!” Crosshair blurted out, and this time the rest of the guys started laughing, because they finally caught on to how they were supposed to play.

“Crosshair, you're pretty good at this. Are you sure you haven't played this before?” you chuckled.

“No, but I understand the assignment better than the others, evidently. Come on, what's the next one?”

“Another plural noun. Omega, why don't you give it a shot? Don't let Crosshair have all the fun,” you encouraged.

She tapped her bottom lip and looked up at Hunter, who shook his head. You all waited patiently for her, and you saw her perk up before cheerfully offering, “pleasure droids!”

Hunter looked down wide-eyed at Omega, who was supremely proud of herself for coming up with an answer, even if she had no idea what it was she just said. He buried his face in his hands, shaking his head lightly, a muffled “what have I done” the only thing he could say.

“Pleasure...droids...” you repeated slowly, scribbling it down and inwardly laughing. “This might seem repetitive, but the next two entries are both adjectives. Are the rest of you going to play, or are Crosshair and Omega going to dominate this story?”

“Uhhhh...salacious?” Echo said with a hint of uncertainty. He looked over at Wrecker, who was deep in thought, scratching at his bald head idly.

“I have one, but...I don't know if I should say it,” Wrecker said sheepishly.

“Out with it, Wrecker. We don't have all night,” Crosshair grumbled as he peered down the neck of the bottle of spotchka, already half drained.

“Is “erotic” okay?”

You started snickering and jotted it down, trying to ignore the jeering laughter of the others over Wrecker's hesitance and inexperience. “Guys, shut the hell up, will you? At least he's trying, and for what it's worth, it works really well in the story. Now for something different, I need a regular old noun. Tech, why don't you give me something this time? You're too quiet and it's bugging me.”

“Why my silence is disconcerting to you, I do not know. I simply do not feel the need to—”

“Tech...” you warned.

He turned to look at you and it was always so evident he was plotting something because his eyes always narrowed in determination with a hint of mischievousness behind them – like right then. “While I will not indulge you with vulgarity at this moment, I will give you something that will likely surprise you, given that it is coming from me. My answer?” You watched as he cocked an eyebrow and smirked at you. “Anal probe.”

You blinked uncomprehendingly for a few moments, then came back with, “I'm sorry, but did you just say 'anal probe?'”

Everyone erupted into laughter and Tech nodded, a wry little smile on his face. “I think you will find this will be a satisfactory addition to the story, if my assumptions are correct. Please continue, for I am now most eager to hear the outcome.”

You couldn't think of a smart-ass retort as you wrote down his answer, now knowing you should never underestimate Tech's deviance ever again. Waiting to speak until everyone got themselves under control, you scanned the page and realized you're barely halfway through it and this story is fucked up. “Alright, guys, let's focus. The next one says 'person in room (last name),' but I'm the only one with a last name here, and we're not using it. So technically, I'll need the last names of two people for the next two entries.”

“This one's easy,” all eyes on Hunter as he finally spoke up. “Skywalker, and Kenobi.”

“Not bad! Not bad at all, although I wouldn't have been surprised if you had said Skywalker, and Amidala. Speaking of, didn't you guys use to have her as—”

“Uh, we don't like to bring that up. In fact, never mention this again,” Hunter cut you off, waving his hand in the universal sign of “zip it” while looking at Omega.

“Duly noted,” you replied as you penned in the next two entries. “Next up is a place, followed by another last name of a person.”

“79's!”

“Hoth!”

“The 'fresher?”

“Mos Eisley!”

“All right, everyone, enough! Omega, loved your idea about the 'fresher, but I think we're gonna go with Echo on this one, with Mos Eisley. What about the last name? You're on a roll now, so keep it going!”

A bunch of names were thrown out there, from Dooku to Chuchi, Windu to Palpatine. All of a sudden Crosshair piped up with, “Dickhead.” All chatter stopped and everyone looked over at him. “You heard me. That was what the other cadets and I always called that old sniping instructor we had. Couldn't stand that sack of sh—”

“Crosshair, enough,” Hunter said. “We'll be lucky if Omega doesn't pick up that particular habit.”

You cleared your throat loudly to get their attention, trying your hardest not to laugh. “Excellent choice, Crosshair. That fits...uh, perfectly?” You covered your face as you lost it, shaking in silent mirth, only stopping once Tech put his hand on your shoulder to see if you were all right. Wiping away tears, you gave them their next prompts. “Make these two REALLY good, okay? I need a part of the body, and a type of liquid.”

The amount of raucous laughter among the boys meant only one thing, and that it was obvious they were going to give you the most childish answers possible. When no one spoke up, you looked around and were met with sly grins. “Well? I'm waiting... I mean, if you're going the route I think you are, then I'll just write both words down right now and we'll move on,” you said, tapping your pen on the page. “All right, 'cock' it is for the body part, and cu—”

Hunter coughed loudly and you looked over to see him with his hands covering Omega's ears, although it didn't stop the girl from giggling while squirming and grabbing at Hunter's hands, trying to pry them off.

From an unlikely source came the response to your question. “Bantha piss!” Echo called out as he started laughing again, hiding his face in his hands.

“Hey, not bad, Echo! I like it! Random question – and I ask because I feel like there's probably a backstory here – but what gave you that idea?”

Crosshair sat up straight as an arrow, looking over at Echo and throwing invisible daggers at him. “Don't do it, Echo, I mean it. We agreed no one had to find out about that.”

Echo didn't have a chance to reply because Wrecker spoke up and spilled the beans. “What? You mean when we had that mission on Tatooine and you got too close to one, and then it let loose all over you? That was disgusting. You smelled for days after that!”

“Yes, thank you for reminding everyone,” Crosshair growled, returning to the bottle for a quick gulp. “Remind me to kill you later, Wrecker.”

“Children, please behave,” you teased as you turned to look at Crosshair, who was still beet red from embarrassment with a look of “if YOU fucking tell anyone else about this, I will end you” all over his face. “We're close to being done, so for the next few, I need an article of clothing, pluralized. I also need an example of a relative. As in, familial relations.” You looked over at Tech, answering the question before he could ask it.

To your surprise, Hunter provided the next piece, although he made sure he was still covering Omega's ears before he spoke. “G-strings,” he said, a crooked grin spreading over his rugged features. His hands let go of Omega and it took a moment before everyone burst out laughing again, with the poor kid looking very confused as to what was so funny.

“Okay, I'm just going to throw this out there,” you replied as you jotted down Hunter's answer. “Next chance we get, we need to find a babysitter for Omega and then get to the nearest strip joint, because you guys are dropping a LOT of hints...”

Omega tugged on Hunter's sleeve, and he dreaded what she was going to ask. “Hunter, what's a strip joint? And why couldn't I go with you?”

Hunter groaned and rolled his eyes as he reached for his cup and took a long sip. “That's another “I'll tell you when you're older” thing, Omega. “It's not something for kids.”

“Oi, what are we supposed to pick for a relative? We don't really have relatives since we're clones,” Wrecker asked, trying to get everyone on task again.

“Irrelevant, Wrecker. Just because we do not have relatives, so to speak, does not mean you cannot choose from the list of common terms for a family's hierarchy,” Tech offered. “Although...given the way this story appears to be trending, it could be quite amusing to supply a word that is not entirely accurate. Would this be acceptable?”

“Fine by me. Just give me something so we can put this baby to bed. The anticipation's starting to kill me,” you replied.

“In that case, I would like to assist. Would 'sperm donor' suffice?”

You looked over at him, your eyebrow raised in momentary confusion. “Tech, what the hell?! Did you just...?”

He chuckled and nodded only once, shooting you a knowing wink as he brought his cup to his mouth, taking a delicate sip.

“All right, I see what you did there. Quite ingenious, might I add. However, we don't need...or want any more details,” you added, waving your open hand flippantly, cutting Tech off before he had a chance to offer up any justification. “Okay, just three more, and we're finally done. By the Maker, I feel like I'm going to have crippling anxiety after all this.”

“Give it six months,” Crosshair snickered. “You haven't been with us long enough to have developed it so soon. Now, what's left? I'm low on patience...and spotchka, it appears,” he said as he swirled the near-empty bottle around.

“Uhhh, let's see. I need a piece of furniture, a verb ending in “ing,” and one last adjective.”

Thankfully, you didn't need to wait because the responses started flying.

“Couch!” “Wrecker, that's stupid. What about “inflatable bed?”

“That's not any better, Echo. Now what's stupid?!”

“TOILET!” Omega shouted as she tried to make herself heard in the growing din.

“A toilet's not a piece of furniture, kid. Where did you come up with that?” Hunter laughed incredulously.

“I have got it!” Tech exclaimed, everyone immediately shutting up, all eyes trained on him as he looked around, that devious smile of his returning. He turned to you and you knew this was going to be good. By good, you knew it would be hysterical, considering the source. “Queening chair,” he proclaimed with a smirk.

Crosshair's jaw dropped so low it was almost on the ground. This time, you had no idea what Tech was talking about, and at the moment, you really didn't want an explanation, either. “A what, Tech? Judging by that look you're giving me, it's something indecent, isn't it?”

“Extremely. You should go ask the queen of Naboo about hers,” Crosshair muttered once he collected himself.

“That rumor is entirely unfounded, Crosshair,” Tech shot back, rolling his eyes. “Unless there's something you're not telling us?”

“Not now, you two. I think we've wasted more time talking and arguing than actually trying to play this game,” Hunter shot back. He looked down at Omega, searching for any sign she was tired and needed to go to bed. Much to his chagrin, she was more wide awake than ever. “You wanna do the next one, kid? You know what a verb is, right? It's an action word, like 'run' or 'jump.' But for this one, make sure you add 'ing' at the end,” he instructed, making sure to pronounce the syllable for her instead of spelling it out.

She nodded and carefully processed that information, everyone opting to stay quiet to let her think. What came out of her next would go on to become a treasured recording in Tech's archives and the subject of nostalgic stories for years to come.

“Fucking!” she declared happily, once more completely oblivious as to what she'd just said.

For a moment you thought the guys were going to pass out, especially Hunter, whose expression was somewhere between shock and severe indigestion. “Where...where did...who taught you that?!” he said hoarsely, grabbing his cup and swallowing the last of its contents before reaching for the bottle to slop more into it.

“Crosshair did! He says it all the time,” Omega replied. “Hunter? Are you okay? You look kind of...sick.”

Hunter sighed and rubbed his eyes, his look of shock replaced with quiet resignation, followed by a menacing glare in Crosshair's direction. “Why am I not surprised? Crosshair, you know kids are like sponges! What the f—”

That's all it took to break the sniper as he dissolved into uncontrollable laughter, all of you following suit thereafter. This time, no one was able to recompose themselves. Wrecker clapped Hunter forcefully on the back, almost propelling him into the fire as tears of merriment streamed down his face. Echo was laid out flat on his back, hands over his face as he shook silently. You looked through blurry eyes over at Crosshair, who had sunk down to the ground clutching his ribs as he gasped for breath, the sight of which made you laugh even harder. Tech was doubled over, one hand on your shoulder to steady himself as another paroxysm of laughter overtook him. Omega's high-pitched shrieks of glee were by far the best thing you heard tonight, her joy and spirit exceptionally infectious.

Minutes passed before you all eventually calmed down and you were about to put pen to paper when you realized what the context of the story would be if you put in Omega's idea as is...and it was beyond inappropriate in a really bad way. Time for an immediate course correction.

“Oh, uhh...oh boy,” you said hesitantly. “Um...I normally don't do this, but I have to add another word to this so it doesn't turn into something completely morally reprehensible.”

Tech stopped cleaning his goggles, which he had taken off to wipe at his eyes. “I do not understand. What could be so—”

“Trust me, you don't want to know. You'll figure it out when I read this back.” You jotted something down and then reached down for the bottle of spotchka to drink deeply, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “Captain Adverb to the rescue, thank the Maker. This is it, guys...one last word. All I need is an adjective. You got this?”

“Bring it on!” Wrecker said boisterously, waving the spotchka bottle around, nearly clipping Hunter in the back of the head with it.

Since Omega opened the door for it, no one bothered watching their language now as they threw out all sorts of outlandish ideas, none of them quite what you felt were funny enough to close out the story. Tech had gone quiet again, and you knew he had something up his sleeve. You looked over at him and that evil little grin was back.

“You advised me earlier that I needed to provide some kind of suggestive or vulgar response, correct?”

“Out with it, Tech. I know you've got something good cooking upstairs.”

“I thought that was obvious. I deduced that answers with...creative...terms involving body parts seem to be the most entertaining for all of you. Therefore, I would like to offer my response.”

“Tech, just say it! Why do you have to be so difficult?!” Crosshair griped as he quaffed the last of his spotchka.

Tech rolled his eyes and cleared his throat, solidly ignoring Crosshair's jab. “For your consideration, I would like to give you an adjective that is most...” He paused, trying to be dramatic in his own way as he looked around, seeing everyone waiting on him. “...Rectally stimulating.”

You looked down at the story for a moment, and realizing what that did to the context of it made you drop your pen on the ground. Immediately, both hands came to your face as you broke into helpless, muffled laughter.

“Tech, you'd better not have ruined the story,” Wrecker said accusingly.

You pulled your hands away from your face and sniffled as you rubbed your eyes and shook your head. “He didn't ruin anything, Wrecker. In fact, he provided the absolute perfect finish. Now, hold onto something, because— Wrecker, you can let go of Hunter...that was a figure of speech. Anyway, may I present to you a most entertaining narrative, called 'CAMPFIRE STORIES.'”

“Are you serious? That's a little on the nose, don't you think?” Crosshair groaned.

“Of course I chose this one on purpose! Now, check this out.” You made a production out of loudly clearing your throat, taking a deep breath and exhaling forcefully.

“It is always fun to chop up some street whores and use them to build a horny campfire. Then you get all of the pleasure droids to sit around the fire and tell scary stories. You can tell about Ichabod Crane, the salacious schoolteacher of Sleepy Hollow and his erotic adventures with the headless anal probe. Or you can tell “The Fall of the House of Skywalker,” which was written by Edgar Allen Kenobi. Or you can tell about vampires from Mos Eisley, like the terrible Count Dickhead, who bit people on the cock and drank their bantha piss. By this time, many of the young campers will start shaking in their G-strings and begin yelling for their sperm donor and go hide under the queening chair. Believe me, when it comes to fucking up a bunch of kids, there's nothing like a real rectally stimulating ghost story.”

*****

As you expected, the aftermath of reading that story was nothing short of utter chaos. Crosshair ended up laughing so hard, he disappeared somewhere into the darkness to vomit as quietly as he could before stumbling back to the ship. The others excused themselves quickly, still laughing as they almost tripped over each other in their haste as they made a mad dash back to the Marauder, leaving you and Omega behind wondering what just happened.

After everyone cleared out, you started hearing noises back in the forest that almost sounded like chittering laughter. Omega heard it too, and came to sit by you, pressing herself into your side as you wrapped your arm around her. A chill ran down your spine when you were sure you heard something rustling back in the undergrowth, and you didn't even have so much as your vibroblade with you for protection.

“Guys...please hurry! I think there's something out here!” you purposely yelled, hoping if there was some kind of animal lurking around, you would scare it away.

“I don't like this,” Omega whispered, nudging herself up so close to you, it felt like she was trying to crawl under your skin. “When are my brothers coming back?”

You did your best to try and keep her calm, squeezing her tightly. “I don't know, sweetheart, but stay calm. It'll be okay. Hunter should be back any moment now.”

As if on cue, the guys came filing back in with Hunter in the lead, his blaster drawn. “I heard you yelling. Did you see anything? Are you all right?”

“We're fine, but we definitely heard something that sounded like laughing, and like something walking around dangerously close to the camp site. Scared the shit of out of Omega and me. What took you guys so long?”

Then you noticed that Hunter wasn't wearing his blacks – he was wearing his sleep clothing, and as Wrecker and the others stepped closer to the fire, you could see the same thing, in varying configurations. No one was wearing what they previously had on, and then it dawned on you what happened. This would be a memory forever burned into your mind: the night when a ridiculous story made five grown men soil themselves from laughing.

You decided to spare them the embarrassment of asking why they changed clothes, and as Tech retook his spot next to you, he leaned close and whispered, “thank you for not asking the obvious...that would be a source of embarrassment that we would not want to try to explain to Omega.”

“I'll take this to the grave with me, Tech. Not a word.” You picked up one of the books and held it aloft, shaking it lightly. “Now...do I dare ask if you guys want to do another one? Someone else can write this time, because I want to play and show you how an old pro does this.”

Omega finally loosened her death grip on you and got up, going to Wrecker who gently picked her up, letting her settle in his arms as Tech reached over and took one of the books and your pen. “I would like to pick one, if it is quite all right.” He flipped through the pages and stopped as he found a blank story. “Yes...this will do nicely. Everyone, your first entry must be a plural noun.”

You stretched out your arms and cracked your knuckles, chuckling softly. “Two words, boys. Edible thongs.”

[soleilnomoon]

Hiya!! I’m absolutely in love with this event you’re doing and wanted to put in an order with you if possible 🥲❤️

Can I please have a glazed donut with caramel and a touch of whipped cream, a Neapolitan rose cake with poppy seeds and whipped cream and a #1 (Kidd) from the secret menu?

For a f!reader (Gn reader is also perfect, whatever you’re comfortable with!)

Thank you so so much!!

hihi!! ty for being patient with my very slow writing 😭💓 anyway i love kidd he's so fun to write and he's just so silly being grumpy like that all the time. i wrote this like i was possessed so i hope you enjoy 😊also as u know enemies 2 lovers is my shit, i love it sfm.

3.3k words, fem reader, nsfw, 18+ mdni; smut, enemies 2 lovers, hurt/comfort, a splash of angst (nothing major it's so tame i promise maybe), and fluff if pretend real good (jk it's there somewhere); feat. oral (m receiving), oral (f receiving), fingering, kid being a bigass bully but reader dishes it back, kid is a mean bitch when he's jealous but what's new, reader likes it ok; is this toxic??? maybe a lil idk, i'm into it ok. both of them need to do better; killer makes a brief cameo! (if u see grammar/spelling mistakes, no u didn't :))

“listen, memory’s got a hard heart and a soft head. / whatever light the eye sees, the heart says dark, dark, dark.” — charles wright

an empty beer bottle shatters on impact the moment eustass kid chucks it at the wall near your head; thankfully your keen senses allow you to miss the attack, just barely.

“care to explain,” you say as carefully and as cordially as you can, teeth grinding against each other every time you pause to calm yourself, “why the entire fuck did you throw that at me?” you keep your distance from your hot-tempered captain, staring fiercely at him, not at all fazed by his intimidating presence.

kid pours himself a glass of scotch and ignores you altogether, grunting noisily before downing the drink all at once.

“kid,” your tone is anything but amiable, he can taste your annoyance even from across the room; everyone had cleared the kitchen once you and kid started arguing — the crew has been privy to one too many explosive fights and they were tired of breaking them up. when it doesn’t look like he’s going to answer truthfully, you roll your eyes and toss your hair over your shoulders. “know what? i’m done, i’m leaving this stupid ship, because there’s no way i’m going to survive with a shitty captain like you.” the words leave your mouth much too fast, spurned by the two glasses of wine you had previously.

you weren’t even mad that he threw the bottle, you were used to the outbursts and you were equally as destructive as he was — much to the chagrin of your crew mates, who constantly reminded the two of you to figure something out quickly.

kid knows better than to encourage you to leave, even though the words touch the tip of his tongue, but he thinks better of it and says nothing. instead, he fills another glass and drinks again.

“do whatever you want,” he dismisses you with a wave of his hand, eyes closing as he lounges on a chair lazily. he doesn’t mean it, of course, but you decide to interpret that as him giving you permission. bile rises to the back of your throat, and you will yourself not to let a single tear fall. you sniff loudly and turn your face away before storming out of the kitchen.

you bump into killer on your way out, but before he can ask what’s wrong you run off. he doesn’t chase after you as he has a sinking feeling that you and kid had yet another fight that requires his mediation.

a thankless job if anyone were to ask him.

he finds kid with his eyes closed and a frown stitched onto his face. killer sits across from his captain and sighs loudly.

“start from the beginning,” he says smoothly, watching kid carefully to see if he’s actually going to give him the whole story this time.

kid doesn’t move for a long moment, but he knows he can’t avoid killer so he relents. he tries not to think about the shape of your mouth, or the curve of your hips; he tries and tries and tries, but he can’t get your face out of his head.

“it’s not a big deal,” kid says gruffly, voice low, irritation spiking all over again when he slams the glass on the wooden table — the force of it rattling the furniture nearby.

killer crosses his arms against his chest and fixes kid with a steely glare, one that penetrates through his mask. still, kid insists on pleading his case.

“you know she argues with me on purpose, why are you always on her side?” he will never understand; if anything, his crew should side with him always. loyalty above all else, after all. there’s no legitimate reason for why you and kid are always at each other’s throats — it’s probably because you’re more alike than you think and your stubbornness always clashes with his; he’s also controlling and bossy, pigheaded and a pain in your ass.

and yet, there you are, sighing in defeat as you press your face into your pillow and try not to scream.

the funny thing is, as much as you both like to deny it, everyone can see that this is pent up sexual frustration that will implode sooner rather than later. kid would rather gut himself than admit that he likes you, would rather swallow nails for ninety days before confessing to you first. similarly, you hate the idea of him having this sort of power over you — that’s what you tell yourself anyway; if he knew how much you liked him, then you’d never hear the end of it.

his ego knows no bounds and you don’t know if you’d be able to tolerate him being that smug around you.

still, you’re sorely tempted to just tell him and get it off your chest; maybe if he sees where you were coming from, then he’ll ease up. you doubt it, though. while you’re not oblivious to the heated looks that kid gives you, if you give into that desire, there’s no coming back from it unscathed.

your poor battered heart can only take so much, you need to protect it from men like him — men who come in like storms, wrecking your life without remorse.

killer’s lecture only pisses kid off even more, but his best friend has never steered him wrong, so he takes his advice seriously. his issue with you is so painfully simple that if you knew you’d make fun of him forever — at least, that’s what he thinks anyway.

his attraction to you has only grown stronger over the years and you have an iron grip on him without even realizing. he fucks other people to get you out of his head and it only gets worse. you tried your best to flirt around in the hopes of finding someone to take your mind off him, but everyone you meet pales in comparison.

there’s never anything wrong with them — they’re just, so nice, so… tame. and you hate that kid has gotten you accustomed to a certain kind of chaos that you crave without meaning to. you know that you’re much too intense for just anyone to handle, so you don’t try that hard anymore. for some reason, this pleases kid more than it should. he actively sabotages anyone’s interest in you for the sole purpose of keeping you to himself, all without telling you, of course.

killer wants to tell you to wise up about kid, but knows that it’s not worth it; you won’t listen to reason anyway, will you?

you like to lie to yourself and say that you hate him, but you know you don’t. and kid doesn’t want to admit that part of the reason why he likes you so much is because you’re dismissive around him and are one of the few people who dares to talk back to him. he likes that part of you so much that he’s sure it’s an unhealthy obsession at this point — hence why he’s always acting out whenever you’re nearby.

you know you should just let it go, try to find a middle ground with him — and he keeps telling himself that if he fucks you once, maybe you’ll calm down and stop nagging him so much.

one can only hope, right?

after docking the ship on a small island, you take to exploring around the closest town. the others follow kid to a pub and drink heavily. because it’s packed inside, kid opts to finish his drink outside, where the breeze caresses his skin gently; he finds solace in the cool evening temperature and almost heads back in when he hears laughter.

a few feet away, you’re standing with an unknown man — a civilian from town, most likely — smiling like a mischievous cat, batting your eyelashes and touching his arm every so often. kid narrows his eyes, jaw clenched as he finishes his drink, his anger steadily rising at the sight.

you’re in the middle of accepting a date, when kid calls your name out. loudly.

you try to ignore him, but you know that he’ll only be tempted to do something outrageous so you apologize to the stranger and stomp over to your nosy ass captain.

“what do you want now? can’t you see i’m busy.” your face is flushed from embarrassment — and the stranger leaves once he sees the fierce look kid gives him from over your head — and anger, a deadly combination that makes you look every bit as cute as you are alluring.

 he wishes you’d stop being attractive so he can get over you quickly; but yet there you are, fussing at him without a care in the world. your lack of fear only makes him want you more. he licks his lips and motions for you to follow him back to the ship.

“i’m not going anywhere,” you say, holding your ground and not moving an inch.

kid swivels on his heels and his audacity reaches new bounds when he says, “either you walk on your own or i carry you. either way, you’re getting back on the fucking ship.”

something about that stirs something forbidden inside of you, a wicked heat that makes you squirm a bit under his gaze. if you don’t comply that’ll complicate things, but if you do that’ll only mean you’re giving in to his demands and you don’t want that.

right?

lips parted, an argument rolls onto your tongue, but he grabs your face roughly with his hand and stops you from saying another word. “i’m serious.” and you know he is. you swallow hard and nod, following after him quietly, heart beating much too fast. you tell yourself you’ll make it out of this in one piece, but you make the mistake of following kid back to his room, all of your self-preservation thrown out of the window when you close the door behind you and sigh.

kid’s anger nearly blinds him; he didn’t think he’d ever be that jealous, but he saw the way your soft features were illuminated in the moonlight, and it became painfully obvious that he wanted you to look at him like that too. but, again, stubbornness and cowardice work in tandem, making it easy for him to avoid that sort of vulnerability for the time being.

“you can’t keep bossing me around, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” your words come out sharp, but your voice lowers when he steps closer to you and backs you against the door. “you also can’t get jealous because you and i aren’t dating.” this is the first time you’ve actually said that out loud to him; he considers your words, but only chuckles darkly in response.

“and that’s where you’re wrong.”

you stare at him, wide-eyed; what an impossible man. whatever residual irritation you have steadily dissipates, as you try to tell yourself that fucking eustass kid will only bring you more headaches. but then he pushes his leg in between yours, and then you’re leaning into him, back arching, chest heaving the moment he kisses you.

there’s nothing delicate about the way kid handles you; with brutish strength, he rips through most of your clothes, laughing when you shriek and chastise him over it. he kisses you repeatedly, tongue swiping against yours playfully as he grabs your ass. heat courses through your body viciously, making you pull away so you can unbuckle and unzip his pants, stroking his stiff cock without prompting, admiring the length and thickness.

this man will be the death of you, that much is certain. but you’re going to enjoy the ride the entire time regardless.

you sink to your knees, the wooden floor cool against your skin. you run your tongue along the length of his cock, soft hands massaging his balls with skill and ease. kid fights to not moan your name, instead opting to tug on your hair roughly. “stop teasing me,” he says in a low, gravelly voice, lust fueling his thoughts and actions.

he’s trying to be considerate, but at the pace you’ve set, he has half a mind to just take over; but he lets you have the reigns briefly, watching you with half-lidded eyes, tongue gliding along his bottom lip as you suck on the thick head of his cock.

“fuck.”

you take that as confirmation to continue, looking up at him, desire burning through you as you open your mouth and slacken your jaw to take in more of him. whatever you can’t fit in your mouth, you compensate by using your hands. his hips jerk forward, and he braces his heavy, mechanical arm against the door, while his other hand grabs onto your hair and tugs you off him.

“make it sloppy,” he says roughly, and you squeeze your thighs together, plush lips parted as you exhale deeply. you know better than to disobey that command, so you give him what he wants, bobbing your head up and down his cock, hands twisting and pumping around the base. your saliva coats his length and he sucks in a harsh breath when you moan and suck on his tip, persistent and playful.

he ends up thrusting into your mouth, cock gliding further down your throat with his help. you let him fuck your face, his groans loud, vibrating along your skin, making your pussy slick with your arousal. his hips jerk forward, his breathing uneven as you hold onto his thighs for support. if he doesn’t fuck you soon, you might pass out honestly. he knows if he continues, he’ll only end up cumming in your mouth and he doesn’t want that just yet.

when he tosses you onto the bed, you get on all fours, tempting him with your ass — that he’s admired for far longer than necessary — you look over your shoulder at him, lips swollen from his kisses. he thinks you look pretty like that, a dazed look on your face, insatiable in your desire for him. he’s in the same exact boat as you, muscles tensing as he pulls the rest of his clothes off.

you shiver slightly, rub your lips together and let out a shrill whimper when he licks along your slit, your arousal dripping onto his tongue once it slides in between your folds. you don’t think you’ve ever had someone taste you like that — like you’re a coveted fruit, like you’ll disappear if he doesn’t devour you whole right now. kid eats your pussy with fervor, leaving open-mouthed kisses and slurping messily.

grabbing at the bed sheets, you make an attempt to shift away from him, but he holds you steady, tongue circling dangerously around your throbbing clit. you yelp, cry out loudly, and beg for more.

he hums absently, before he slides a thick finger inside of you, pumping it in and out, watching as you fuck yourself against his hand once he inserts another finger. he scissors them recklessly, and you shamelessly buck against him before he swaps his fingers for his tongue.

“yes, fuck, right there,” you chant, breathing erratic as you chase the high that kid is dangling right in front of you. he’s barely holding on himself, but he has a point to prove. he swipes at your clit again, flicking his tongue against it before sucking on it hard. a flash of white blinds you, and when you cum forcefully enough to make you slump over.

still, kid’s not done with you.

he admires all the marks he’s left along your thighs and ass, smiling to himself haughtily. you know he’s probably grinning like a fool right now and you don’t even care to argue with him about it. you rub your ass against his cock once before he thrusts his cock inside of you; he grants you a bit of mercy, pausing so you can adjust to his girth before snapping his hips forward and fucking you at a merciless pace.

with a hand on your back, kid bucks his hips roughly against yours; your thighs tremble and your voice grows hoarse from how loud you’re moaning for him. the walls in the rooms aren’t thick, so no doubt some of your crew mates have heard you already — not that you care about any of that right now anyway.

his balls slap against you with each stroke, his cock burrowing deeper inside your cunt without remorse. he grabs you by the back of your hair and pulls you flush against his chest, back arching as he powers into you with short, frenzied thrusts. your pussy is soft and warm around him, making him think irrational, impossible things — making him want to be different with you.

the pads of his fingers are rough when they rub against your clit, and he wraps an arm around you to keep you close as he fucks you faster. sweat pools at your temples, the room is hot but not uncomfortable. he pushes you down onto the bed, pulling out of you momentarily and panting lightly. when he enters you again this time, he plunges in deep enough to have you babbling incoherently as tears glide down your round cheeks.

he laughs at your whimpering. “big baby,” he says teasingly, the taunt dark with intent. “all that mouth but you can’t take my cock, what a damn shame.” you know he’s joking, but your face burns with shame anyway.

“shut up,” you manage to say with great difficulty, moaning shamelessly as he rolls his hips against yours. kid presses a kiss to the side of your neck, and you’re surprisingly okay with the intimacy — and he is too.

strange. very, very strange.

it’s when he angles his cock like that that you cum again, clenching around his girth, holding him hostage as his thrusts become sloppier and frenetic. there’s a feral possessiveness that he exudes when he rolls you onto your back and throws your legs over his shoulders. you barely have the strength, but you do your best to keep up, hips lifting to meet his menacing strokes, pussy squelching loudly.

his bed sheets are soaked, but he doesn’t care; all he cares about is this. you. he realizes that now — very belatedly, but still. he finds himself tipping over the edge when you lean up to kiss him sweetly, almost affectionately. he meant to pull out so he could cum on your stomach and thighs but doesn’t, he cums inside you instead.

it’s thick and hot, you whimper against his lips pathetically, nails clawing along his back, head spinning from the intense way he fucked you.

after a minute or so, he pulls out and clarity hits him. you look over at him as he stretches out on his large bed, lazy like a mountain lion, eyes closed briefly. you wonder if this is where you get kicked out and you dread the walk back to your room — especially since kid rudely ruined your clothes. he feels you shift on the bed, arms and legs shaky as you sit up. he frowns, not liking the idea of you leaving and grabs onto your arm, tugging you towards him gently.

although with a man as large as him, his idea of gentle is different than most. you find yourself laying on top of his chest, confused but also content, smiling secretly as you duck your head to avoid his gaze. he plays with your hair before yawning.

“i was going to—”

he pulls you closer and you clamp your lips together, afraid of saying anything else that might disrupt whatever peace has settled between you two.

kid hesitates only for a moment before saying, “stay.” it’s almost cute, the way he’s suddenly very demure, as if the idea of asking anyone to stay over has never occurred to him. but he knows that if he lets you leave, then things might go back to normal, and he doesn’t want that.

not that he knows what he wants exactly, but that’s beside the point. he’ll figure it out in due time, but for now, he’ll enjoy having your body next to his.

[rainbowstargazerlilies]

SHIPPING TOURNAMENT RUNOFF

These two were within four votes of each other. At this point in the tournament, it seemed smart to me to do a quick runoff to see who continues. If this ties again, or gets that close, they'll both continue to the next round, facing off against the HNOC trio. Round 4 will come out tomorrow.

Propaganda:

Tim/Bertie:

The entire “Tim Goes Mad” section of GTVTMK. Tim looses it because his best friend dies and goes on a murderous rampage. Also that one art that Reegis made of the younger version of the two of them. 

gay moon bitches fr

Gptvstmk

*blows up the moon for you*

#TimBertie are literally so stuckycoded ngl#ITS ABOUT THE DEVOTION ABOUT CHILDHOOD FRIENDS GONE TO WAR ITS ABOUT THE VIOLENCE OF TRAGIC LOSS#ITS ABOUT GRIEF AND THE WAY IT HURTS YOU SO YOU EXTERNALIZE THAT HURT TO THE ONES WHO TOOK YOUR LOVED ONE#HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT MOON KAISER IM PISSING ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!!!#im normal about timbertie (tags via @watermelonselfship)

Prison Mechs And Lyf:

One, LOOK AT THEM!!! THEY FIT TOGETHER SO WELL AND GIRBIFJRJE AHHHHHH. Like, prison mechs is good, wonderful we love it, Violinspector is wonderful, idiots in love. Put the two TOGETEHR!! perfect ship, 20/10 it's canon to me. They love Lyf so much and Lyf loves them too but they are so annoyed at them all the time in that "gods damnit. I love you three but please for the love of the gods stop." Also the idea of Marius, Raph, n Ivy trying to woo Lyf while they are still an Inspector is so silly cause I can see it working everytime but they CANT DO SHIT ABOUT IT and girbgijrjr. And if you give me a moment to indulge in my own brand of insanity that is creature mechs, them calling Lyf "pretty bird" cause it flutters them every time. It used to work on Raph but doesn't anymore cause she's used to it and tiehfjrhjfjrj. I'm not normal about them lol

violinspecter: the stars claim them fanfictoon. more people added for more cool relationships and stuff, also i love the prison mechs

if you don’t ship it have you even listened to expert testimony????

Think about them. Just think about them. Words are not wording but oh my god think about them. You want fic recs? I can give you fic recs. Please they are so special to me.

prison mechs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lyf!!!!!! what more is there to say

#AHHHHHH GC I C B DGHTHH#THEM THEM THEM THEM THEM-#SAVE ME PRISON MECHS AND LYF#PRISON MECHS AND LYF#PRISON MECHS AND LYF SAVE ME (tags via @analog-cottage-gore)

Pulling out the big guns (my own writing): https://archiveofourown.org/works/51576148 (via @moons-br)

[luffythinker]

OKOKO list

Kirishima/Monoma

- Overtime by OkeyDokeyTodoroki (swimtime) for Bonster - this one is short but it's really cute

Hold Me Tight by Queen_Preferences for EpicKiya722

Sweets and Tents by redinkvibes

Lady nagant & Overhaul not a ship but i thought it was until i read it

- I Hope This Letter Finds You A Broken Husk Of A Man by Jokers_Card_Deck

he has a panic attack several times and she helps him even tho she hates the things he does she isn't gonna be unhuman and leave him

Sero/Iida

- 5-Inch Inseams by Cloudsu - this one is like really nsfw but the characterization of Sero is really funny and it's like crack taken seriously and i think its a funny read but also OH BOY SEROS REALLY GAY

Mina/Camie

- going home by linzbees - this one is really cute like i dont even go here with this ship but its really cute, they play baseball and dont have quirks

BKDK

kacchan's letter by spiketheespiegel

spilling over every side by failbender - nsfw

TDBK

No Strings Attached by menofsweaters - nsfw its very entertaining and i love how they are characterized here

KiriKami

Just Jokes by pretty_werewolf - this one isn't finished and i dont think they are gonna finish it but its still really good 2 chapters

Bro by mismashrory for chibistarlyte - nsfw but like its silly but like Jirou is really funny in this one

BakuIida

one single thread of gold by aloera for turnandburn - its funny how they interact i love them

EraserMic

Can't Help Falling In Love by drunkenCharm - short but lovely

hope you can read some of these cause those are just a few

I'm gonna link it all here and give my short thoughts on it!! the ones in orange are my favorites!

Kirishima / Monoma

Overtime - OkeyDokeyTodoroki (swimtime) - this was short and sweet and it makes me want to read a longer work of them processing their feelings after that kiss

Hold Me Tight - Queen_Preferences - also very very sweet, i love seeing them in love!!

Sweets and Tents - redinkvibes - this one was fun!!! lowkey feel like Monoma would hate to go hiking/camping but he would do it because of Kirishima and then be mad that he actually enjoyed it

Lady nagant & Overhaul

I Hope This Letter Finds You A Broken Husk Of A Man - Jokers_Card_Deck - this was an interesting read, it feels like a character study and it makes me think more about the nuances of lady nagant

Sero / Iida

5-Inch Inseams - Cloudsu - “Why do you insist on flirting with me when you’re drunk and then forgetting I exist when you’re sober?” oh they're so why'd you only call me when you're high coded, I'm screamingggg, this was my favorite so far (no like i wish you guys could see my face rn)

Mina / Camie

going home - linzbees - very cuteeeee, i really enjoyed this couple, love seeing girls thriving

Bakugo Katsuki / Midoriya Izuku

kacchan's letter - spiketheespiegel - “You are so fucking beautiful it pisses me off,” that's basically their whole dynamic in a sentence byeeeejkdfjkfjk i also enjoyed this one, but i also love bkdk with all my heart so who is surprised

spilling over every side - failbender - fun fact i have already read this one a couple of years ago??? it's really good, i love bkdk in quirk accident scenarios (I have recently read one of Izuku hit with a sleeping beauty curse)

Todoroki Shouto / Bakugo Katsuki

No Strings Attached - menofsweaters - this is the only one i didn't read it all cause it's a bit long, but i read the first chapter and it does seem promising!! it's also very well written and I'm lowkey curious about the previous works of the series, so i might get into those first before continuing this

Kirishima / Kaminari

Just Jokes - pretty_werewolf - ok you are very evil for sending me this, cause it's TOO GOOD and UNFINISHED why would you condemn me like this???? now i NEED more and there isn't

Bro - mismashrory - A BROJOBKJDFKJDFK this gotta be the most on-brand thing for them like omg, your honor they have one brain cell left. please i can't stop laughing this is just too gooddfkjdfkjfdkj jirou is such a slay we love her

Bakugo Katsuki / Iida Tenya

one single thread of gold - aloera - this one got me since I read the title cause it's taylor swift lyrics!! i loved bakugo just showing up to his room and demanding iida to stop being weird like honey have u seen yourselfjdflkdf “you tricked me into being friends with you. This is coercion.” THIS IS SO BAKUGO-CORE I CANTJHHKF i really loved this one, the author has a really nice way to portray bakugo and iida, i enjoyed it a lot

Eraserhead / Present Mic

Can't Help Falling In Love - drunkenCharm - this one was also short and sweet, i must say i don't usually read about them but it's very lovely!!

[rocksanddeadflowers]

Raphaella and Marius but make it a Lisa Frankenstein kind of AU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

Like not exactly Lisa Frankenstein, but like a healthy mix of the movie, the og source material of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, and original ideas and settings.

Maybe Raph is still a star-faring immortal winged mad scientist, but she's all alone and at least somewhat suicidal ("I wish I was with you") but of course nothing would actually stick. She hangs around on this one planet, messing with people's graves and playing with dead people bits. She gets attached to this one grave she refuses to desecrate, and instead tends to hang out there while she does less physical work, like writing out theories and plans in her journals. She rants about her science stuff to the grave. The grave itself has a little bust statue on top which might have been of the person below, and she thought he looked silly and cute.

The planet itself is awfully desolate and the population sparse due to decades or possibly centuries of warfare only ceasing from the lack of people able to fight the war. There isn't much left of anything, here, but Raph is stuck for the time being until she finds the materials to fix her ship. May as well have a little science fun while she's here.

One night, something or another triggers the whole "raise this lovesick fool from the grave" thing. And I'm just. Please a zombie Marius who rose from the grave to be with Raph only for Raph to explain the "When I said I wanted to be with you I meant I wanted to be in the ground dead. I didn't mean I wanted to be with you..." and he's so heartbroken (they fall in love later).

All this to say it would be so nice for Raph to fetch body parts for her pet zombie boyfriend. I think she would enjoy it, it's enrichment. To her, Marius is just a new and spectacular experiment and project. To Marius, he desperately wants her to reciprocate his affection. She's too busy with science to even realize she's falling in love with him until way way later.

I'm so serious about this AU I've been thinking about it sense I first watched the movie. Maybe I'll write something for it eventually idk. But I just. I care them so much. <3

[marblemoonstones]

stiletto 👠

main masterlist

summary: bangtan may think they’re the mafia kings, but little do they know you are the rising queen.

warnings: ❗️any characters in the story have nothing to do with their real life counterparts❗️f reader, use of ‘bitch,’ ‘ass’, ‘shit’ (still don’t know if it counts as a warning lol), mentions of killing (nothing happens), tae and kook threatened by reader (nothing happens), shooting of guns (no injuries)

a/n: sorry i haven’t posted in forever 🥲 i’ve been so busy, but i’m still working on catharsis 🩵 

this is just a silly little mafia one shot because i wanted to try something different. reader is a bad bitch bc i wanted her to beat bangtan in a fic for once ;) also pretty tame in terms of violence and such for a mafia fic. hope you enjoy!

word count: ~2.3k

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Opening my eyes, I immediately sense that someone’s watching me. I pretend to not notice it, going about my daily morning routine. The cameras are subtle, but my eyes catch them quickly. These boys may be smart but I’m always one step ahead. I knew that they were going to watch/trail me the second I turned down their business proposal. 

~ Two days ago

“Stiletto, you have a business meeting with Bangtan today,” my assistant tells me. 

“Oh, it totally slipped my mind,” I say, knowing full well about the meeting. You have to act forgetful once in a while or else people assume that you know everything and don’t tell you anything. 

“It’s in an hour in your office.” I nod at the reminder, and wave her off. Venus is a hard-working girl and not a snitch, so I’ve kept her around as my assistant. She knows the consequences of betraying me.

An hour passes by quickly, dealing with my product shipping and whatnot. I’ve been involved for a good seven years; in both the technology industry and the mafia. My technology is top notch, and this led many mafia bosses to want to buy my products. I’m happy to oblige, as this makes me a pretty penny.

A sharp knock on my door makes me smirk. 

I call out, “Come in.” 

Seven men dressed in suits enter and shut the door behind them. 

Bangtan. 

“Hello Stiletto, it’s good to finally meet you,” Kim Namjoon says cordially.

“Likewise. Now, let’s get to it. I’m a busy woman, so if you please, give me your deal.” My face is blank, eyes steely, scrutinizing them as they do the same to me. 

(a/n, I didn’t go into specifics with the deal because I’m not good with that sort of thing, so sorry for being so vague :’)) 

I listen to their proposal, knowing from the first sentence that it’s not going to happen. At least, not with me. The deal has minor holes and could easily be executed with another company. My price is also not met. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt Mr. Kim, but this isn’t going to work. Have a good day,” I dismiss them, seeing the looks of anger flash in their eyes.

“What do you mean it won’t work, Stiletto?” Min Yoongi asks, barely concealing his anger.

“Are you deaf? I mean it won’t work. Find another company. Goodbye.” I’m about to call for security, but they keep pushing on. Well. Looks like they have some bark in them. But I have more important things to be doing than entertain some boys and I know I’ll see them again soon enough.

“You’ll regret this later,” Park Jimin says, and before he can say more I interrupt. 

“I know that I won’t. Goodbye.” And with that, I have security escort them out. Granted, they don’t put up much of a fight, but instead I see them clench their fists if only for a brief second. Good. They’re mad. I hope that they learned that I can be a bitch, exactly as everyone says. 

Hence the nickname Stiletto. Stilettos may be pretty looking but they’re also powerful. I bet you’ve never seen someone walk in stilettos and not look like a bad bitch. 

Ever since this nickname was given to me, I have worn a pair every day. Why not give the people what they want? 

I had to kill everyone who knew my actual name, so now only a select few remain who know my actual name; Y/n.

~ Present Day

Bangtan is so mad that they are trailing me to try to find weaknesses to make me bend to their deal. Their attempt is almost comical. Almost. I don’t have weaknesses. Growing up in an orphanage led me to learn and figure out things by myself. 

My black suit is waiting for me, and I slip on my signature stilettos. They have red soles, an exclusive one-of-a-kind shoe made especially for me. Little does the brand know that I made some alterations to the shoes. I made the tips be steel and each shoe has a small dagger hidden inside the stiletto. 

My black purse is waiting and I check my inbox as I make my way downstairs and into my garage where my chauffeur is waiting. 

The cameras inside the house have already been disabled, courtesy of Venus’s hacking skills. That girl is shaping up to me more and more like me everyday. I smile inside at the thought of toying with Bangtan. Some say they’re the most powerful mafia, even going as far to call them the ‘mafia kings’ but I know better than that. They may be more known in the industry, but my name is still influential and slowly climbing the ranks. I blame me being a woman for the reason why I’m not on top. Most of the mafia bosses think I’m just a pretty face who can’t be taken seriously. Someday I’ll destroy all their empires and watch them burn. (she says nonchalantly lol)

I get out of the car at my office and head inside. Venus greets me, showing me my schedule of the day. I thank her, the only person I ever do, and head off to my office. It’s a peaceful workday, considering that I haven’t had to hurt/kill anyone yet. 

It’s around 2:00pm when I get a notification on my phone saying that there are two unidentifiable figures that breached our building. I dismiss getting security to investigate as I know that it’s Bangtan. Perfect. They’re coming just as I knew they would. I know it’ll take them about a half an hour to reach my office so I wait eagerly. 

Half an hour later I’m sending an email when I can feel their eyes on me. Based on my research I can guess that it’s Jungkook and Taehyung in the vents. These two are the deadly duo and also the sneakiest. 

While Yoongi and Hoseok are the best at weaponry, Namjoon and Seokjin are the best fighters (with Seokjin doubling as a doctor), Jimin is a master manipulator, and Taehyung and Jungkook are the stealthiest. Jungkook is their ace though, good at everything. 

I internally feel giddy, but on the outside I pretend that I don’t notice them.

I let this go on for another half hour, knowing that they’re watching every move. So I send boring emails and don’t do any actually work. I already shut down their hacking and can’t wait to shut down their camera that’s been in my office all day. But that comes later in my plan. 

After hitting send on another email, I start typing up an rsvp and say, “Boys, it’s time to come down now. I know you’re up there, so be good and come out.” 

There aren’t any noises but I can tell that they didn’t expect this. 

Bangtan doesn’t expect me to know their every move. I have tabs on all of them at all times, and they don’t know I know all their tricks in the book. Including trailing business owners who don’t accept their deals.

Since they aren’t responding, I decide to have some fun and use their names. 

“Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook…the maknaes of Bangtan. Be good boys and come out, okay? We don’t want this getting out of hand,” I say sweetly, imagining their eyes widen at me calling them out by name. 

I count slowly in my head…three…two…one…

Bang! The vents come open and they drop down silently behind me. I turn around in my chair and see the two culprits. 

“Hello boys. Have a seat.” I say, leaving them no room for argument. They sit down and don’t speak. I know they’re searching for ways to escape, but I won’t let them. They’re not the only ones good at planning.

“Look, I’m not going to force you to talk about anything. But just know that you shouldn’t try to-“

Before I can finish Jungkook brings out a gun and fires it at me. I dodge it and pull out a gun of my own.

“Don’t even think about it buddy. I have dozens of weapons aimed at you that could fire at any moment, so sit your ass down.” This makes him slightly wary, and he lowers his gun. 

“Give me your weapons boys,” I demand next, knowing that I could still win against them in a heartbeat but don’t want to take that chance.

They get them out for me but I notice Jungkook forgot two and Taehyung forgot one.

“Jungkook, give me the dagger in your hair and behind your ear and Taehyung, give me your ankle dagger,” I sigh impatiently. 

They do as I say, surprised at my knowledge. 

“Perfect. Good boys, thank you,” I praise, knowing that this makes them uncomfortable. And it works. Jungkook looks down slightly while I see Taehyung swallow. 

I stalk over to the filing cabinet and pull out the camera recording all of this. I smirk slightly into it and place it down in front of the boys and I. 

“Hello Bangtan, thanks for sending your maknaes to me. We’ve been having a jolly good time,” I say into the camera, noticing Jungkook and Taehyung exchange glances.

“Anyways, better come get them before something happens to them…that would be horrible,” I say, my tone a hint darker than before. Then I crush and destroy the camera. 

I turn back to Jungkook and Taehyung.

“I’ll guess…thirty-four minutes until they come for you. In the meantime, do make yourselves comfortable. I have snacks and shit in the mini fridge if you’re feeling peckish. But don’t try anything!” I singsong, going back to my desk. 

They look at each other, confused at what’s going on. One second I’m threatening them the next I’m offering them food. I ignore their looks and continue typing and responding to emails.

Precisely thirty-four minutes later the rest of Bangtan comes bursting through my office door.

“Where are they?!” Namjoon booms, gun in hand.

“They are right there,” I say, pointing to the two boys who haven’t moved from their sitting positions.

I see Bangtan freeze, if only for a split second. I know that they’re shocked I didn’t harm them/tie them up somehow.

“Did you do anything to them? Because if you did, I swear to god Stiletto I’ll-“

“Calm down Hoseok, can’t you see they’re unharmed?” I state boredly, gesturing to the maknaes.

“It’s true Hobi,” Jin says, rushing over to inspect his babies. 

“Aw, such a happy reunion,” I say, then sharpen my tone. “Looks, you idiots need to learn that no means no. I don’t want your business deal, so stop trying. It’s not working.”

“You sure, Stiletto?” Jimin asks me, a calculating grin on his face, “Because it seems to me that you care a lot about our babies, not even harming them. What does that show?”

I roll my eyes. “Jimin, quit it. Your tactics don’t work on me.” 

“Ooh, feisty. I like you, Stiletto,” Jimin says, sidling up to me and putting his arm around my shoulder.

Quick as a wink I take his arm off my shoulder and twist him so we’re now face-to-face. 

“Isn’t it obvious? I like you too Jimin,” I say, staring deep into his eyes. Oh how I love toying with them.

He falters for a millisecond then regains his composure and licks his lips.

“Great, so let’s make a deal-“

“You silly boy,” I push him away much to his dismay, “I already told you, no means no. Now, get out of here before I shoot you all.” I’ve had my fun and it’s time for them to go.

“Look, Stiletto, we don’t mean to cause issues with-“

“Trailing me? Putting cameras up in my own home and office? Attempting to hack my technology? Sending your babies to spy on me? It seems that you have caused issues. While I like to mess with you, I’m done playing.” I’m dead serious as I look them each in the eye.

“Get out of my sight and don’t bother trying to contact me again. I’m done with Bangtan. Oh, and keep in mind that I know more than you think,” I warn.

“Like what?” Namjoon scoffs, not believing me.

“I know that you and the rest of the boys have feelings for each other,” I say casually, noticing their looks of shock, “What, you don’t think I noticed? It’s pretty obvious to me and honestly you’re all perfect for each other anyway.” 

“But…no one knows that…” Jin stammers, showing the first sign of weakness since their arrival.

“Look, I’m not a snitch when it comes to that topic, so I won’t tell anyone, but you best believe I know so much more,” I say, watching them all breathe a small sigh of relief.

“Okay, point made Stiletto. We’ll leave you alone.” Namjoon caves, nodding to the rest of the boys.

“Great, now get out.” I point to the door and they all file out.

Ever since my spy in Bangtan told me that they were planning on meeting with me, I planned on the outcome. 

I knew their deals were usually good at hiding the holes, so I took the liberty of finding out what deal they were going to offer to me. It wasn’t bad from the outside but I knew that in the end it would benefit them more than me. 

I knew they wouldn’t accept my ‘no’ so I planned on them following me. Taehyung and Jungkook coming wasn’t a surprise in the least and I knew that revealing their biggest secret would make them leave me alone. 

I now hold power over the ‘mafia kings.’ 

That makes me be able to control all the groups in my area. 

Perfect. 

Now I can grow my empire and slowly but surely take over and show everyone who their mafia ruler really is.

The mafia queen, Y/n.

a/n: sorry for kinda rushing through this. it’s not perfect but i just love the scenario! anyways, as always, thanks for reading! 🩷🫶🏼