#I just think it’s silly rn. Less than a year guys!

[eclipsedcrystalstar]

LETS GOOO MINOR CARD MENTION!!!

[crossbackpoke-check]

re last answer: please don't stop, being very unhinged about these two pretty white boys is helping distract me from the sharks losing streak rn so bring it on

https://www.tumblr.com/bondedpairs/764566430180147200?source=share

(sideblog woes but there's the link for you) anyway in the vid they talk about going over to each other's houses to have dinner and things and while that is a delicious example of their codependence i love it bc through an rpf lens there is definitely some old man ******* going on. they can have the dilfs and each other.

(someone else mentioned kept boys which i could write an essay on but i fear being Perceived™️)

anyway if you have anything to add to this please do, if not ignore me and i will hide under a rock until the stress-related insanity has worn off and i am a functioning member of society once more 😂

- @bondedpairs

ty for the video!!! and please, WRITE THE KEPT BOYS ESSAYYYY i promise i will read it with my hands over my eyes if you don’t want to be perceived. do it scared!! do it anyway!! we’ll all love you for it!!!

[muppetebbtide]

trojan war tumblr simulator

🌊 is-the-sea-wine-dark-today

YOU BET IT IS

#the wine dark sea!!!!!!!!!!!! #wine dark sea #wine dark sea posting

108 notes

✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo follow

why is achilles the only demigod who's Like That? like he's my boy but u don't see memnon or aeneas or sarpedon acting like him on the reg. why is he so maladjusted? like specifically? I saw his mother once and was so terrified by the sight of a goddess I flung myself to the ground and hid my face in the dirt til she left but I still don't think that accounts for it idk

🏘️ nobody1020

it's blonde man syndrome hope this helps

340 notes

⚔️ sonoftydeus

opening my askbox so that we can discuss strategies on taking troy!

3 notes

anonymous asked: we should all go home :)

⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:

FUCK OFF AGAMEMNON I WANT REAL SUGGESTIONS

50 notes

nobody1020 asked: do u like..... horses

⚔️ sonoftydeus answered:

odysseus do I even wanna know where this is going

45 notes

⌛ isthetrojanwaroveryet?

year 9, day 234: still no....

#all our admins keep DYING

500 notes

‼️ trojan-confessions follow

I think my wife might be sending me anon hate :/ keep getting asks like 'hope u die on the battlefield tomorrow silly slag' and 'menelaus should have curbstomped you' and in her big tapestry of warriors she made me look stupid

🐴 horsetaminghector follow

lmaooo is this paris??

🔮 cryinglikecassandra follow

kinda think helen should send MORE anon hate idk

600 notes

❓ myrmidons-confessions

I was the one who wrote the achilles/agamemnon 100k slowburn enemies to lovers rpf and put it on the group chat but now patroclus is calling me 'agachilles boy' and laughing about it and asking if I can proofread his mock bardic epic where all his dogs are heroes and killing people, so I fear I've made a mistake. I also can't look achilles in the eye anymore... but honestly I've never seen proof he can read so I might be safe

❓ myrmidons-confessions

5000 notes

👑 kingofmycenae

👍🏻 ajaxthegreat

achilles is DEAD and ur posting CRAB RAVE?????

🏘️ nobody1020

I think that's why he's posting it ngl

300 notes

😹 deiphobus42069

imagine being the achaeans and your best warrior gets killed by PARIS, after everyone else had awesome deaths at the hands of sarpedon or hector or memnon... like that's literally so embarassing I just know achilles is fucking fuming down in hades rn. I bet the achaeans are gonna put around that paris was guided by apollo, or that paris happened to hit his only weak spot..... anything 2 try and make it less cringe.... lol lol we're popping the biggest bottles tonight. hope helen's there

🐆 leopardskiniscool

???????????????

#I mean. yeah. but also. #deiphobus wtf I thought we were chill

240 notes

#hope everyone can be normal about the outcome!!! :)

340 notes

🧑🏻 randotrojansoldier-deactivated-8578543

so excited to go back onto the field of battle tomorrow! sure hope I don't encounter any of the big-name heroes

🗣️ homer follow

I hope you don't too! I'm sure you'll do great!

🐎 antilochussss

not the direct address????

✌🏻 ajax2electricboogaloo

direct address got him :(

3000 notes

💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow

fuck my job so much I hope that this wooden horse tribute to the gods turns out to have some guys inside or something just so I can DO something rather than standing here like a twat with my spear

💂🏻 trojanguardtales follow

by ares this can't be happening

345 notes

⚔️ sonoftydeus reblogged menelauskingofsparta

do NOT order achilles from shein!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#oh yeah #I was stuck with temu achilles in the trojan horse for six hours #and by hour two agamemnon had suggested killing and eating him #and odysseus was threatening to 'send him to meet his father' #and it's not even like there's any kleos in killing priam!!! #anti neoptolemus #neoptolemus defenders dni #vent tags

100 notes

[graevelabyss]

You know what genuinely kept me up until 1am last night about FH: Junior Year, the Bad Kids could have been facing such worse enemies if Porter actually thought about who would be best in Kipperlily’s place.

My mind goes directly to Ragh or Hargis, both very powerful kids who were in pretty bad situations. Ragh was wrapped up with the Harvest Men and in denial about his sexuality. Wait I forgot, Porter did try and mess with Ragh with his silly "Barbarian healing", would Porter have tried some shit if the Bad Kids hadn't taken Ragh on Summer break with them? I’m thankful every day the Bad Kids took him in. Hargis in turn also could have dodged a bullet by meeting the Bad Kids. Like a shy theatre nerd that struggles socially with his passion, who is a Goliath fighter no less is a recipe for (not necessarily hate-filled) but a rage-filled disaster. That beige aura really did good for him I think.

AND WHAT ABOUT YELL. Danielle would have been in so much trouble if she didn’t find the Maidens. A socially ostracised girl that can’t find a permanent adventuring party because of her beliefs and actions gets tricked into using her druidic powers to spread the rage-star powder all across Elmville. I am shaking Porter’s shoulders violently rn, BRO. A DRUID. YOU SKIPPED ON A DRUID FOR YOUR EVIL PLAN OML.

Zayn also could have been bad news if Porter got his shit together faster for a similar reason. He. Is. A. Necromancer. A necromancer. And probably one of the most vulnerable people from season 1, just one discussion with Daybreak and it’s a sealed deal but noooo. Please don’t get me wrong, I don’t want any of the students to be brainwashed or even be in the position to willingly take the rage, but man, Porter is just ridiculous.

Holy shit. And what about Zelda. A character so powerful I think that’s one of the reason Brennan played her in The Seven. Her rage is literally divine, Porter could have done something with that, made his own brand of divine rage and offered it to her and others. She was even taking personal lessons from him because her rage was too destructive for normal class.

When the hell did he come up with this plan.

I mean I know it would have been a while ago because of the whole thing with Kalina but I think my point still stands when I say, Porter, my guy, disrespectfully, you could have done so much better than Kipperlily Copperkettle.

[bloodheartz]

gimmw your gfalls hcs NOEWWW

oh god! I have soooo many but i'll put some basic ones down for the pines family rn and probably add on to this later ^_^

Dipper

◇ First of all this boy is absolutely autistic. My little autistic ass acted so much like him as a kid, I mean, what autistic 12 year old wouldn't base their entire summer around a weird book full of monsters they found?

◇ I think he's a trans dude and aro/ace, and that his crush on Wendy was more comphet than anything. I'm not really a fan of any ship involving him but I think platonic dipcifica could be cute.

◇ Cryptozoology/The Paranormal is absolutely his main special interest, but he also has an sp/in in computers/comp sci (but he's honestly not great at computer stuff).

Mabel

◇ AuDHD Queen! I think her main special interest is absolutely arts / crafts, I mean look at all the silly things she makes throughout the series as well as her dedication to handmaking dozens of puppets/props/etc as well as writing and entire play to impress her crush of the week in Sock Opera. ◇ I think sexuality wise she's not straight but prefers to be unlabelled. I also like to think she's the type to collect xenogenders / neopronouns like pokemon cards. ( she totally uses a bunch of cat-based pronouns) ◇ Shortly after the series I think she'd get a little less Boys-Crazy and focus more exploring who she is as a person / her self expression. Absolutely is gonna have a mall goth/emo/scene phase (she's smushing all three of those together into one thing for herself).

(I also think Mabel and Dipper were born identical twins)

Grunkle Stan

◇ Also AuDHD, not quite sure what his big main special interest would be but he's absolutely hyperfixated on Ducktective. Also going off the story in Lost Legends I think he'd absolutely be getting into making comics / drawing in general (even if hes not great at it). Post series I think he'd spend a lot of his free time out at sea drawing in the boat's cabin. Mostly making comics of silly re-tellings of he and Ford's adventures out at Sea (he absolutely shows Dipper and Mabel these if he and Ford video calls them when they're on land) ◇ I'm a transfem Stanley truther. He doesn't really realize/come to terms with it until post-series. I think she'd just grow out her hair and throw it in a pony-tail + use she/he pronouns to transition. She'd still use the name Stanley and be fine with both masc/fem terms (ie fine be called a man or a woman). Also he's bisexual (but has known this since he was like a teen, even if he didn't have the words to label it.) ◇ I think his Popsicle addiction from the unaired pilot is real and canon. Old autistic men love popsicles just look at my dad and grandfather.

Ford

◇ oh boy its projection time (i am a stanford pines fictive) 😈😈😈

◇ Transmasc, somewhere under the nonbinary umbrella but very guy adjacent. Mainly uses he/him pronouns but I think he'd use "it" and "they" aswell. Gay and Arospec as well. ◇ Autism + NPD + Schizophrenia wombo combo. He's sooooo NPD coded its INSANE, I am going to write an essay about it in the future. Goes without saying that his special interests are the paranormal and various sciences, but I think he has a hardcore love for the arts as well. ◇ Going off both the autism and arospec HC- I think he's the type to convince himself he has a crush very easily, when in reality he just has a strong admiration / platonic love for those in question, and had strong platonic feelings for McGucket back in college that he confused for romantic ones (projecting 100000000%) (i think the Stan twins were fraternal twins)

[yuriyuruandyuraart]

Hi? Gosh how do I even start with this :'D

I know it's been ages since I've last popped up on here. I've been debating when to post this for a while, but I kept adding to my draft more and more and now it's the end of JULY omgg I felt so guilty disappearing with zero updates but then thought my birthday would be the best day to finally address this considering it'll feel less random? idk but Ive always celebrated my bday with you guys and I'd feel so bad answering your kind asks without me at least explaining why I was gone for months.

Truth be told, I was dealing with a lot of stuff irl. health issues and sudden declining grades that left me stumped and drained for months now- along with technical issues like having to replace some parts of my computer that took a while for me to find to even draw digitally, which I didn't have the time for anyway with how tired and weary I felt every day.

I'm frankly shaken up by a lot of shit rn and I don't know how to be active online with this burden on my chest- Especially as it's been a while since I've even looked at utmv related content and my motivation dwindled. I swear I'd hype myself up to post or reblog something- but I'd see just how much I've missed or the overwhelming amount of posts I'd need to go through and I'd feel so swamped with exhaustion and most importantly guilt, for not clearing the air up sooner to reassure you guys that I'm, y'know, alive, and not dead in a ditch somewhere. And I'd procrastinate cause typing it all out is hard and I'd give up halfway every time and it's just not fair to you all!

I thought I was handling it well when I started going out and socializing more, instead of staying cooped up at home on my computer all day. and in the first draft of this post I made months ago I was gonna detail some of the fun plans I had, for my life and for this blog :D but relaxing my strict study schedule and letting go a bit of my tight routine, thinking it was better than wringing myself dry to keep it up, backfired horribly, to say the least.

I know right?? so silly to be hung up on stupid shit like studies of all things! but this is a very important thing for me considering my career plans and the competitivity encouraged by everyone I'm surrounded by, the pressure of keeping up adding to my already stressful days. I had to fix myself up first and I couldn't handle the strain nor interact with people and thinking of jobs and exams sapped my energy so much it's frankly embarrassing. writing this feels so cheesy too and it frustrates me to know I could've come back a month earlier if it weren't for that, but I also know putting all of this into words then would just sound like incoherent venting (not that this is very different tbf) and I wasn't in the right headspace to address my absence, or anything really- I didn't want everyone to see me return when I couldn't muster up a genuinely positive message, let alone talk to anyone with a shadow of my usual cheer

I feel like a complete mess and It drives me up the wall how depressed I've gotten. I debated deleting this blog so many times 'cause the fear of disappointing my audience and my friends, for lack of a more fitting sentiment, made me feel even shittier. I'm constantly thinking if this wall of text is worth posting, or if it's better not to burden you all with all my sappy troubles as if it's the end of the world. Trust me, I'll be fine. I'm not trying to dramatize this situation, but I don't think I'm up to pretending I'm all sunshine and enthusiasm you're all accustomed to.

So sorry for worrying you all! I'll try to catch up, deliver some missed birthday gifts, and answer some asks while I'm at it! Again, I can't state how much I appreciate your support throughout the years. It's frankly a miracle I kept any of you around with how much I keep popping and leaving at random with no warning. I definitely can't promise for my stay to be without a hitch, and if you don't mind an inconsistent schedule you're free to stay of course, but I'm afraid I can't sustain the pace I had when I first started this blog. I'll keep posting art, but lower my activity in the fandom sphere to reduce the strain on my mental health. so fewer rants and walls of text, more art, and less stress overall. Love you all and thanks for waiting for this long <3

[lowkeyrobin]

hi hi!! could i get cricket crew (those a-okay with xreaders) with a reader who’s like a pro gamer, maybe reader is also a streamer? somethin along the lines of that pretty please 🦕

ahhh yes of course!! I recognize you mwahahha, lmk if you'd like to be addressed as 🦕 anon btw bc I can't tell if you used it in a silly way like how I use 🛒🛒🛒 somwtimes or as a way to address yourself LMAO no worries tho 🫶🫶🫶

HANDSOME BROS ; pro gamer era

includes ; ranboo, tommyinnit, & badlinu

warnings ; language, mention of Dream

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he's been your biggest fan since day one, literally

he just so happened to be one of the first couple viewers you pulled while you began speedrunning minecraft

eventually you guys became friends and stuff

he literally watched your speedruns go from an hour and a half to half an hour so quickly

and over that time he's been boosting your stuff and everything

you ofc make other content and collab w other streamers, mostly Tommy and his friends

one time, you get a speedrun down to 25:03, your best so far and he's in a vc w you with your stream pulled up

literally screams when he sees the ender dragon explode into xp

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOU GOT DOWN TO 25 MINUTES, THAT WAS SO GOOD, OH MY GOD, Y/N/N!"

you sit there like "omg I just did that that's my best record ever"

afterwards you play roblox for a bit with him (meep city) and throw a party to celebrate

you meet a bunch of viewers/chatters/fans as well bc you publicized yours and Tommy's usernames so they could join your server

"You're a pro now, y/n! even better than Dream!"

if he was right next to you rn, he'd be giving you the biggest kiss in the whole world

you'd been spending so, so long to get below a half hour or so and even just 5 minutes below that made you so ecstatic, same with him lmao

he literally makes 40 tweets about it and posts about it on his Instagram story

he also doordashes you some fast food + like three large waters

he's literally your biggest fan ❤️❤️❤️

when I tell you he's so fucking sweet to you

he's fully aware you're very serious with your video games and you try to be the best you possibly can

like he'll come over while you're training for a valorant competition with foolish & punz and just hang out behind you and watch

he'll go to snapchat and snap aimsey a pic of u grinding on valorant with the caption "look who's grinding valorant again"

star will respond with a "Jesus Christ how many hours do they have on there??"

he'll reply with a video of him asking

"how many hours do you have on valorant? like, all time"

you didnt even hesitate or think before you replied with "253"

"HOLY SHIT DONT YOU THINK YOURE GOOD ENOUGH?"

"amount of hours doesn't equal skill, tommy"

RANBOO

good god they're actually worried something is wrong with you

no way super Mario odyssey can be so fun to you

speedruns went from maybe 2 hours down to 58ish mins or so in just a couple months

you were friends prior, but you got back into smo and got addicted with trying glitches and bugs you knew about

once you reached like 58:05, (about 13th on the leaderboard) you quit

good lord there was no getting better lmao

then came the challenge to get all the moons and speedrunning the dark side & darker side of the moon

they got on a vc with you while you were collecting moons so you could deal w a lot of distraction, and asked you to check the hours time

the way this shit said 834 hours.

the amount of joke-yelling and "I'm not mad just disappointed" convo came out of that

"It's not my fault the game is fun!"

"that's more than a year! that's nearly two straight years!"

"I've been playing it since release in my defense. I probably grinded up half of that within the past year or two though to be honest"

never the less, they always cheer you on and always have to boost your content

for the leaderboards, you're around 70th place on the dark side, about two hours, and for the darker side, around 80th, so about 3 and a half hours

they literallt watched you do 10+ hour streams and got on vc to voice concerns of burnout or scoliosis

"I'm fine! shit! damnit!"

"Chat please tell them to go sleep, this is wild. go play Mario kart with Bill at least"

"Yeah, come play Mario Kart with me!"

"where the fuck did you come from, I didn't even hear you join???"

"I've been here for half an hour!?"

BADLINU

you're freakishly amazing at building in the Sims 4

like dude you're an idol in the Sims community it's so weird

you build like those humongous mansions and find new furniture glitches and new designs and share them and stuff

dude don't even get me started on your sims

most the time you make your friends but they're never inaccurate

you can dedicate a five hour stream just making the fucking characters dude

he'll sit next to you so you can properly make his face and he'll get all tingly in his head as he watches

when you're making a giant new build he'll tweet about it like 4 times and leave a link to your stream LMAO

"guys go watch y/ns stream they have polls set so you guys can actually decide on design choices"

he's actually your biggest fan omg

he'll be in your chat like "omg hi y/n"

"Hey Freddie!"

joins a vc with you and starts absolutely bombarding you with compliments

dude can't go one stream without taking 372882 screenshots of you

"Dude how do you have motivation for this?"

"It's fun! if I can't be a designer in real life then I'll be one in the digital world motherfucker"

[oh-no-its-bird]

after reading your izuna tobi time travel rambles I can't help but think about them just crashing the middle of a council meeting 😭 everyone is shook, and absolutely flabbergasted and ngl they kind of just.. Want the two to stay? (Well, mostly Tobi's old subordinates/students because they feel partially sad and sentimental and OH MY GOD IS THAT FOURTEEN YEAR OLD TOBIRAMA?!?) And then the psycho Hashirama timeline is just amazinggg I can't stop thinking about it you're actually infecting my brain bro

NO BC IVE BEEN THINKING NONSTOP ABOUT THAT EXACT SCENARIO LATLEY MYSELF !! The brain worms are spreading...

(Cont. From this post for those without context)

Every other time Tobirama and Izuna enter a world where it's modern Konoha, they start taking bets about which one of them died there. Funny bit where Izuna says smthn about how there quote, "aren't nearly enough crazy nightmare trees and brainwashed people for you to have died here" (bc 9 times out of 10 in worlds where Tobirama dies Hashirama loses it to a spectacular degree that leaves a VERY visable mark on Konoha)

Actually, taking that thought, it could be fun if they got dropped into a seemingly normal Konoha only to find out that hey Tobirama did die in this one, but it seems to be the 1 out of 10 that Hashi was able to stay sane

Only nope!! Surprise attack!! He's just really really good at pretending to be normal and when they try to leave he plays his hand, lots of fire and explosions ensue and they just barley escape

Izuna and Tobirama are SO tired of people trying to force them to stay in places, theyve had Madara do it they've had Hashirama do it, maybe they even had alternate versions of eachother do it. They !! Want !! To go !! Home !!!!

Also you can't tell me that seeing a young version of them specifically would hit Madara/Hashi harder than any revived adult version could. They're lowkey the "idealized" versions of their brothers, still small and in need of being protected, not consumed with anger and burdened by the things they've done and seen in the war. They're silly little guys!! And they're slamming on ALL the "Oh god I need to protect my little brother" buttons, it's sooo bad

Anyways, them crashing into a council meeting after quite a few different rounds of dimension hopping. Meaning they really don't give a shit ab destroying anything bc they've already come to the conclusion that it's too late to be worrying ab any potential side effects of fucking with possible time lines.

They're immediatley diving across the table making grabby hands at their friendly ball of interdimensional light as it floats off, trying to go for it as soon as they land before it wanders off and they're left having to hunt for it.

I need you to picture these 2 kids just DIVING across a table of important clan people shouting smthn ab DO NOT TOUCH THAT FUCKING LIGHT

They miss it and it dissapears through a wall rip

Maybe they end up slamming into it trying to catch it for comedy effect actually

Other than just sentimentality there's also definatley a tactical standpoint of trying to get them to stay

That's THE Senju Tobirama, second Hokage, white demon and inventor of a fuck ton of jutsus. And also Izuna, who is much less known here to his (by now used to it in these kinds of world) displeasure

All young and untrained and perfect for grooming into a loyal konoha shinobi, ready to grow into his prime by careful hands who knows exactly what he could become

How much more terrifying could he be, if trained specifically by someone who knows his talents, shown his own research to build off of and given all sorts of modern tools he never had before

And also Izuna is still there and he's so fucking sick of being underestimated rn guys what the fuck he's cool too

Anyways the second Tobirama and Izuna hear "hahaha maybe you should stay a little longer..." they're BOLTING

They've heard that song and dance like 20 times now they know the warning signs and you seem nice but they are NOT risking another 'secret yandere' situation again, goodbye.

Their only saving grace is that respect and sentimentality does win out here in letting them go without too much arguing, no matter how valuable they might be. Got lucky this time around, might not be so lucky the next

[koqabear]

Hmmm, I'm really into fantasy. As for groups, I stan a lot (probably too many), so you could recommend any 😭

Also, what do you mean?!😭 Your personality is just so 💜💜💜!! Like I have never admired a stranger so much in my entire life 😭😭😭

-Lvlee

hi loveee !! so as it turns out,,, making a rec list is very hard. very. i've read a lot less fics than i thought omg (which is why all the ones i listed are on the older side LMAO), so i am here with some txt and bts recs 😭 they're mostly supernatural/fantasy, but you can always check out my main blog (@/michipan) if you wanna see anything else!

also 🫠 please.... im sobbing rn u are the cutest ever </3 i am nothing but a silly little normal person i promise

to anyone who decides to check out these recs, pleeeeaaase support the authors!! please im genuinely begging you!!! leave a little review and a reblog and show them love bc they're amazing <3

BTS Recs

☆ Beastly Gods by @lemonjoonah

✧ hybrid!taehyung x fem!reader x ???

wc: 8K // genre: hybrid au, thirller, drama, smut, potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: ‘Don’t leave the forest,’ a rule that you’ve been forced to follow since birth, but you are tired of living in this wooden cage. Out of desperation you cut a deal with Taehyung, who claims to be the only one who can get you out safely, even though he might be just as dangerous as the god you’re trying to escape.

sol's personal notes:

oh. my. GOD. this was one of the first few fics i read when i joined this site, and it's literally stuck with me ever since. i can't say too much about it without spoiling it, but the worldbuilding and pacing was just. immaculate. the storyline is so well done and just. everything about it is perfection omg. there's another part that goes along with this story, but i can't link it bc ofc... spoilers 😖i wish i had more to say about this fic, but i read it years ago and forgot to write a review for it T_T

☆ Treasure by @sombreboy

✧ faerie dragon hybrid!jimin x fem!reader

wc: 4.7K // genre: pwp smut, hybrid, yandere, fairytale, again potentially dark and triggering content so read the warnings carefully!

Summary: Jimin loves to collect sparkly riches and playthings. You just happen to be the next treasure that ignited his obsessive desires.

sol's personal notes:

(fucking explodes into a million pieces) i can't. i had to reread this story real quick to get a refresher on it and just. jimin's character in this is literally so perfect and mischievous and evil!! and i love it... <3 he is characterized so well and the descriptions are just so well done... ouuu i just read over the smut again and i teared up a little. the dialogue is genuinely so insane im not normal abt this fic sorry.

TXT Recs

☆ the prince and the jackal by @gyuluster

✧ prince!beomgyu x woodcutter!metalbender!reader

wc: 11.8k // genre: fantasy au, fluff

Summary:  in the Kingdom of Terrae, you, a metalbender, believe in the deforestation to modernise the land. As a member of the Lumberjackals, you thrive on cutting down trees and stealing resources until you get caught by the Crown Prince, Choi Beomgyu, a lover and embodiment of the nature you wish to destroy. However, instead of imprisoning you for your crimes, Beomgyu decides to show you the beauty and wonders of nature, leaving you to doubt your beliefs, your identity, and your very feelings for the certain boy determined to change you for the better.

sol's personal notes:

unfortunately the author is no longer active on this account (💔💔💔💔) but like. this story literally changed my brain chemistry i dont think you guys understand. it's been so long since i read this but even so, it lives on in my mind... the world building and characters are so well done and from what i remember, beomgyu's character was literally so charming T_T such a pretty story, i might go reread this bc like... the fantasy was executed so well and i love me a good royalty au <3 not to mention the whole concept of the powers is so cool!

☆ Swimmin' in a Mirror by @bangchanswolfpelt

✧ soobin x2 x fem!reader (stay with me here)

wc: 2.5K // genre: magical school au (not a harry potter au) smut

Summary unavailable.

sol's personal notes:

this one's like a whole 180 from the last fic LMAO but GOOD GOD. this author isn't active anymore from what i know of but like. they were literally revolutionary and this fic is just. never seen anything like this before but )#%(&#%??? it's genuinely so impressive how they managed to pull this off alkghadg so hot so insane so creative

☆ that's the spirit! by @agustdiv1ne

✧ sixth sense/ ghost hunter! soobin x fem!reader

wc: 14.6K // genre: high school au, fluff, angst, some elements of horror

Summary: a couple weeks before halloween, you find the quiet boy from your high school staring up into your bedroom. you're a little creeped out, and miles more scared, but then he shows you something that changes how you see, well, everything.

sol's personal notes:

are we surprised. i don't think so. i literally never shut up about this fic ever like i'm such a sucker for unique stories and this is definitely one of them! the pacing, supernatural elements, and environment was written sooo well, and the worldbuilding and explanations that comes along with the plot is so perfectly executed and well thought out. such a cool story, with a banger playlist to go along with it :]

☆ Dirty Little Secret by @petrichor-han

✧ vampire! yeonjun x gn!witch!reader

wc: 4.0K // genre: angst, dark fantasy, vampire!au, witch!au, enemies to lovers

Summary: yeonjun is one of prince seungmin’s most trusted bodyguards. born as a low-class vampire, he worked his way to the top and is proud of his accomplishments, beginning to adapt his friends’ classist mindsets and forgetting where he came from. but when his brothers come to visit one day, exposing his poor ancestry, everyone turns against him except for one: a lowly servant whom he’d picked on in the past—you.

sol's personal notes:

are you kidding me. DARK FANTASY. yeah that's literally all it took for me to fall in love with this story; the imagery is beautiful and the storytelling is so heart wrenching and good and i am literally clawing at the bars of my enclosure rn btw. this fic is sososo good and i'd literally kill to get another morsel from this universe !

⭒⭒⭒

✧ again, make sure to show all these lovely authors some love!! if any of you manage to see this (unlikely. for the most part) i literally cherish these stories sm and would literally die for them idcidc u guys truly made some masterpieces over here ✧

[spatio-rift]

oh my god hold on a second. do you think the $quad has met saiko's parents. like they HAVE to have been over at his house before. i'd imagine some of the butlers and bodyguards are familiar with them (especially the ones that accompany him to school) but they're his Guys so i'd imagine they hang our at his house more than the others... so they'd definitely had some encounters w his mom/dad. funniest scenario is at the point of their friendship where they can tease him and he won't mind they'll be acting silly and then one of his parents walks in and they're suddenly perfect well behaved little angels who are just such good company to their dear metori. do you see the vision...

I DOOOO I SEE THE VISION.... theyve definitely visited his house the most out of everyone at pk theyre here every other day. i remember talking about this w a friend years ago and we were saying saiko would always be calling them over when he feels a little bored or lonely under the pretense of needing them to do stuff for him even though hes literally got a dozen people personally attending to his needs at home. constructing elaborate scenarios to just hang out without having to acknowledge any sort of friendship. i think post-friendship acknowledgement they still always gather at saikos house because hes got everything they could possibly want in there and also their houses arent up to his crazy standards so by default.... it can be a little insulting but they like getting picked up from school by a professional chauffeur w a limo too much to ever really complain about it lol

the saiko staff is kind of amused by them when they come over cuz theyre so used to doing that job for saiko at school they start doing it at his house without realizing. mostly though i think theyre happy he has normal friends now (and that its made him less annoying to deal with)

HIS PARENTS. theyve only met them like once or twice bc theyre really not at the house often. i like to think it wasnt even intentional they just keep getting lost in that huge fucking mansion and somehow end up in places they shouldnt be like saikos dads office or his art collection room. its really awkward every time because his dad doesnt really get it so when they blurt out a self introduction and say theyre his sons friends his dads like '...so you work for him, yes?' and arguing with a man that looks like a human-sized star and has enough power to make their entire family disappear with a snap of his fingers is a little scary so theyre just like yes sir we do sir. and he just pats them on the shoulder and tells them to keep up the good work and calls someone to guide them back to his son.

saikos mom is really funny to think about bc for takahashi yokota and murata its like going to their friends house after finally getting thru to him and starting to have a sort of normal relationship with him and meeting their celebrity crush there. when they come to saikos house after meeting her they try to discreetly ask if his mom is gonna be there. you know just to be polite and say hello they should probably bring a gift too... and saikos like shes in brazil rn and im going to kill you.

[vacantgodling]

climbs into your askbox

hi i'm responding a little late to your request for wip questions but that's okay

anyway. head empty rn, but i'd love to hear a bit more about a wip of yours i've been curious about!!! vampires don't take road trips. i would like to learn more. i realize that's not a specific question so: looking at the main cast, what's something each of them would hate to be *seen* as and why? (i.e. if someone would hate to be seen as stupid, or would hate to be seen as unreliable, something like that)

or alternatively. silly question. rate the main cast in order from "will show up exactly on time on the dot to the function" to "will like clockwork show up at least an hour later than they were told to." feel free to elaborate on your rankings if you want!

this took me forever to answer im so sorry 💀💀💀

eee you are always welcome in my inbox :3c

i did make a powerpoint intro for this wip too so i link just so you can stare at it later lmaoo -> here

but these are both EXCELLENT questions, and for once i may have answers bc ive had these ocs for like a decade 💀

so, ig if we stick to the main main cast (which ngl is hard to determine for me but i suppose that’d be darren, dave, liz, olice, and veronica… at least for the first half of the book lmaooo) — for the easy question of who’s showing up on time versus who is showing up late in that order:

dave, veronica, olice, darren, liz

as for why:

dave is a lawyer and a generally punctual person and is somewhat anxious. he prefers to be 5 minutes early.

veronica is a wannabe socialite and so her image is contingent on if she shows up on time and so she’ll be there on the dot.

olice is used to her mothers antics and she feels like it’s rude to be ridiculously late so she tries to be there between on time or 5-10 minutes late at the most.

darren is more lax and tends to get distracted so if he shows up like 30 minutes late to the function it’s chill. the only time he’s on time is when dave is with him LOL

liz is an Actual socialite but she doesn’t care about that or social events in general so she tends to be “fashionably late” and people “forgive” her bc of her status 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

for the harder question:

DARREN: the way this is actually a hard question for my actually emotionally intelligent son LMAOOO. i think in general he hates being seen as dramatic, or someone who makes a big deal out of things. he’s a chill guy, and for his own sanity he prefers to stay chill if and when possible. the times that he’s had outbursts or had people accuse him of being overly dramatic are the few things that haunt him in life. i think the reason as to why… it’s a bit hard to say. but i think it comes down to the fact that in not wanting to be bothered with things himself, he tries not to bother other people. he’s more likely to assume that he’s getting on someone’s nerves or pissing them off and would just ghost them to avoid drama instead of fully confronting the situation. he Will if he needs to, but he’d just rather not because … idk? he just doesn’t think it’s worth the trouble. he’d rather keep his peace and be wrong than rock the boat and be right. it’s definitely something he’s kinda picked up from his dad, but darren manages to be waaaay more chill that even dave is because he just keeps people at arms length unless it’s his dad or olice. he learns how to do that less but the idea of letting people in enough to ruffle his inner peace is also. hm. not something he’s fond of. so basically, he’s not conflict avoidant he’s more conflict neutral and likes to take the path of least resistance if any of that makes sense.

DAVE: he hates being seen as weak. he recognizes that this is very irrational but it’s a fear and discomfort that developed from his own father, who was extremely harsh on him growing up, and even harsher if dave got upset or cried or wasn’t “manly.” so for him, being “weak” comes with a host of trauma around it that he’s still working through many years later. it doesn’t trigger him as bad as it used to, but it definitely still can.

LIZ: liz is a bit weird because she doesn’t really care how other people perceive her—she just doesn’t like being responsible for those assumptions people have of her character? so i wouldn’t say she hates being seen as competent but she hates being seen as something she’s “not” or something that she doesn’t take credit for. she’s not responsible for your preception of her yknow. if i had to say why it’s because she’s fiercely independent. she’s going to do what she wants to do and what she thinks is best no matter what and she’s usually not interested in hearing other people’s opinions; she’s quite stubborn. bending to other people’s whims is a bruise to her ego and she has done it before and hates herself for falling to that sort of weakness instead of doing what she wanted to do. so in a manner of speaking she hates being seen as controllable and hates being seen as weak in a somewhat similar way to dave, but more because of her personal pride than trauma. she’s an extremely proud woman lol.

OLICE: ngl, she hates being seen as her mother’s daughter. veronica hasn’t been the Best mother to olice. after she decided to return to the us and break up with her father in india (without even saying a word mind you so olice has never met the man. and before anyone says “maybe he was abusive” as the author i’m telling you, he wasn’t. veronica just got in over her head and then bailed, only thinking of herself but then didn’t take the proper steps to make sure her daughter felt loved or to be a good single parent 🤷🏽‍♂️), olice has only been treated by her mom and her mom’s extended family as a doll or an extension of her mother. better to be seen, not heard; the only interests that were fostered in a meaningful way were the ones that she shared with her mother. veronica often speaks over her and isn’t cognizant of her needs, more content to chase her aspirations than care about her daughter unless her daughter can be sort of “used” for something. she hates being reminded that they’re related. she refuses to go by the american (and technically legal) name that her mother gave her which is clara. her mother did at least tell her the name that her father wanted to name her/the name she and him agreed on in india which was olichudar and that’s why she goes by that. clara and olichudar have similar meanings which is how her mother came around to the name (clara meaning bright/famous, and olichudar meaning brilliant) but olice doesn’t think it suits her and she hates being called it. she also has her mothers sister’s name as an “honor name” so her cousins and extended family call her “cc” a lot and she hates it to Death. she became grateful when her mom started dating dave because it was through him that olice started getting some of the freedom to express herself and to try and reconnect with her indian heritage; with dave keeping veronica distracted or off her back about it. even though many say that her mother loves her in her own way (even dave sometimes and that’s the only thing she and he disagree on), olice has never felt real, unconditional love from her mother. especially when she compares it to dave and darren’s relationship. they’re close, dave takes an active interest in the things darren likes, he’s supportive and cares about darren’s comfortability and cares about loving him more than anything else, even veronica. and olice can look back on her life before dave and darren and think how she was content with crumbs from her mother; veronica only wanted olice around when she could brag about her or show her off, then toss her to the side when she didn’t want to deal with her. no interest in olice outside of how she looked being a “strong woman raising a kid on her own” when as far as olice knows from her mother’s own words, her bio dad wanted to be there for her. meeting dave and seeing his relationship with darren has made olice much more bitter and resentful of her mother but the only reason she hasn’t tried to push her and dave breaking up is because she doesn’t want to lose what she considers her real family and father figure. olice is sure that one day she’s either gonna have to cut contact with her mother, or her mother’s going to abandon her. and i won’t tell you which one, but this roadtrip proves one of those theories right. :)

also to be said, veronica isn’t a traditionally abusive person towards olice—not physically or even verbally. what olice goes through is more akin to my own relationship with my mother growing up, where it’s more neglectful and about not being seen or not being emotionally valued versus being physically taken care of. i don’t call it “abuse” in the book specifically just because i have a hard time thinking of what i went through as abuse myself but it definitely Hurts and is unhealthy and that’s what i want to get at irregardless. all of this to say, as an aside, this is something i always knew but never talked about but veronica and olice’s relationship vs darren and dave’s has always been olice is who i am and veronica is who my mother was (in an exaggerated, less religious way) and darren is who i wished i was and dave was who i wished my mother was 🤷🏽‍♂️🤷🏽‍♂️

VERONICA: this is sort of a roundabout, 2-part answer, but she hates being seen as both “the other woman” and as “poor” — and basically both of those answers circle around into an inferority complex. with the first, it stems off of her insecurities when it comes to being with dave, and as much as i love dave to death and am somewhat uncharitable to veronica (because of darren really 🤷🏽‍♂️) i do *understand* where she’s coming from. you should never be made to feel “not good enough” in a relationship; and it’s hard to tell where the divide is for dave Specifically makes her feel that way (though not necessarily intentionally; hurt people hurt people etc etc) or if this is a particular Complex that she projects onto him. but the fact of the matter is, all of the things about their relationship, she has pretty much had to pursue herself. she met dave at an event, and she took a liking to him. she approached him, flirted, got his number, text incessantly until he agreed to a date, then two, and constantly made their plans, and was even the one to ask him to be exclusive. dave was very very passive in a lot of this, and when she was under the assumption that his former partner/baby mama (liz) was dead, it became easy for her to justify her actions. dave was grieving and clearly had been for too long, and she just wanted to get him out of his shell—he was too handsome and too kind to be alone for the rest of his life, in her opinion (not that it’s really her call to make, but i digress). she was only giving him permission to be himself again! and in some ways she is correct, wallowing over liz for the rest of his life certainly isn’t healthy, and dave on some level is aware of that, which is why he sort of… went along with everything regarding veronica. and they had a healthy relationship Before she found out that liz was actually still alive, and dave was just still in love with her. now, ngl, im not 100% sure how she finds this out; bc dave certainly doesn’t talk about liz that often if he can avoid it, not even with his own son, so like hell is he going to talk about it to the new woman he’s seeing (he’s just that kind of guy). all i Do know is that it was several years into their relationship, and around the time that she and her daughter olice moved in with darren and dave. and when she found this out, she was fucking livid honestly. what does this woman who Left You when you needed her most have that EYE, a present, loving, caring partner, don’t? so anytime she and dave had a spat, anytime she clashed with darren or anything went wrong, she became more and more bitter. convinced that she would always be a second fiddle to this woman she’d never met. and the worst part is, she is Partially proven right when liz finally does enter the picture and suddenly dave and liz have more sparks and chemistry than she (in her mind) feels like she and dave have. and this could potentially be because liz is darren’s mother and veronica has never taken an interest in dave’s son the way that he has wholly embraced being a father to olice, but in her micro-defense, darren has never wanted a mom in general, let alone a new one 🤷🏽‍♂️ ANYWAY though, all of this sort of stems from her childhood (as many traumas do) especially in comparing herself unfairly to her sister, cynthia—unfortunate because cynthia adores her and they’re thick as thieves but to veronica cynthia was always the sister who got what she wanted. she was beautiful, the belle of their hometown, grauated with honors, went to college and found a man who was head over heels for her and who spoils her like crazy, has a big happy family, is Rich…. and what does veronica have to show for her life? she got pregnant on a missions trip and abandoned the father, she never finished college, failed relationship after failed relationship where on more than one occasion she’s been “the other woman” … it’s too much! and no matter how much dave assures her that he has no plans of getting back with liz, the man can’t look at her and say he loves her even after ten years together. SO!!!!

[justajsworkshop]

i’ve had this realization for awhile, but everything in my life, everything i’ve experienced was my doing. everything i’ve wanted��� committed or just unserious, silly desires, i’ve gotten. the good and the bad. and yet i doubt myself now??! every kind of person i longed to be ive blossomed into. every experience, friend, terror, i’ve received wholly. wtffrf😭 how do i deal with this crippling fact that i’ve gotten everything i’ve desired?! honestly i’d wish to divulge but i’m shy, and i would just be listing off my entire life anywayy. have you also gotten everything you’ve (once) desired? kinda spooky!! happy november <3

you know, now that you phrase it this way, yes. I’ve gotten everything i’ve chosen for myself; i’ll put it that way—for better or for worse.

i was thinking about how i used to be so healthy, and that took a nose dive in the past couple of years, and it’s only because i started perceiving myself in ill health. i’ve made massive improvements since discovering the law though.

one interesting manifestation i’ve noticed recently is that my teeth are fully aligned again. i had heinous tmj, and went to a specialist (before i discovered the law), and they got me almost aligned, but it was gonna cost me so much more to get my teeth fully straightened out, and i just went with good enough is good enough. but i just noticed last night how much better my teeth are?? and i affirm whenever i remember that they’re perfect and great and so is my jaw. it feels like it kinda came out of no where though. 😂 the less i try, the easier and faster i manifest. that’s the truth i’m working on fully accepting and living by rn.

another one in the less than favorable direction is when i heard someone talking about quitting their job on the spot, i said to myself internally “god i wish i could do that.” and this was me KNOWING about the law. well, lo and behold, days later, an innocuous call on my calendar with my “boss” (client, i was a contractor) turned into 2 hours of him berating me and basically telling me im worthless lmao. and i knew instantly i manifested it because id been dying to get out of there anyway. yikes, was not how i wanted to go about it though. i aaalmost quit on the spot, but ended up leaving a week later.

it was literally one thought lmao. but that’s when “forgive them, father. they do not know what they do” made sense because i couldn’t even be mad at the guy for being such an asshole since i decided thats who he would become, the type of person who would make me want to quit on the spot.

but yes, i def get what you’re saying. it can feel like a lot at times, but it’s also really freeing to see how much control you have. so it’s not like you have fight for it. you just have to increase your awareness of that which is already yours, total autonomy over the reality you create and experience.

[missgoldberry]

It's not about being secret, it's about the way they say they want to be private and then play games with the fandom, posting hints that tehy're together (especially A and other Luke's friends). And are you really ok with these huge age gaps? I struggle to see what they have in common with these young people

Look I don't love huge age gaps when one person is very young. Luke and Antonia have less years between them but it seems like he was looking for a young/less successful girlfriend and that's icky to me. It seems like Nic and Jake were friends and then something developed which is more understandable to me but the gap between 37 and 24 is huge at that age (34 and 47 for example wouldn't be a big deal to me at all lmao). I wish they both were in more age appropriate relationships. But at the end of the day everyone involved is an adult. I do struggle to imagine the appeal, I'm 30 rn and I wouldn't want to date someone in their early 20s at all. But I do have some friends who are younger and they're not all the same, with some I genuinely feel we have an equal friendship and some younger people I know seem so so young and immature that I would struggle to spend any time one on one. And I kind of hate bringing up supposed maturity because "being mature for your age" is what every young person thinks about themselves, and the way every person dating much younger justifies it. But there is truth to that, not every young person is the same, just as not every older person is the same. You can be in a similar place in your life in your 20s and your 30s. To give an example from my own life, when I was about 25 I became really close friends with my coworker who is 21 years older than me. Now obviously there was nothing romantic about it at all (we're both in long term relationships AND he's gay) but we hung out all the time together and it truly didn't feel like there was 20+ years between us because we were in a similar life stage at the time? We worked at the same job, making a similar amount (I made more actually because I was working there longer), we both had long term relationships but weren't married and had no kids (and no plans for it), we both wanted to buy better places to live but had no money, we liked similar books and movies and had similar interests. Now I'm absolutely not denying that he had way more life experiences than me, and we obviously weren't dating or living together so that's also a very different dynamic. And if I saw a 25 and 46 year olds dating I would be side eyeing it hard. But I'm just saying that there doesn't always have to be a huge power imbalance between ages, you can legit connect with someone much older/younger and it doesn't have to be weird. The whole "what are they talking about" debate seems silly to me because you can connect with people of different ages than you. Btw me and that guy are not friends anymore because he turned out to be a raging transphobe.

Now when it comes to playing with fandom… I don't think there's nearly as much playing as people believe lmao. The truth is that fans will dig through backgrounds of pictures, look at windows and floors to draw their conclusions and you can't avoid it. And I know the argument is always "well they know fandoms are like this so they shouldn't post these things" but like?? That's kind of ridiculous. Imagine asking your partner to not post from vacations because people might analyze palm trees, or say they're not allowed to wear your hat (or a hat identical to yours), or forbid them from following who they want on socials, or avoid touching them when in public, especially once people already know you're together. Like that's an insane ask and not a good way to live. It's one thing to not blast your relationship on social media (which I think is a good idea if you're famous) but constantly living in fear of someone figuring out you're with your partner is fucking stupid imo. I do think, at least in the case of Luke and Antonia, that they did 'play' with fandom a bit because they wanted to make sure people knew they were together. Like the polaroids for example were very very intentional. And tbh it kind of makes sense, I'm sure it's very difficult to date an actor who has to go on a world tour for months when you just recently started dating, and he's being loved up with his costar, and everyone wants them to be together. It would be hard for many people, especially for a 23 year old who's probably in her first serious relationship. So yes I think they made some obvious moves on social media 🤷‍♀️ But that's not a crime and it doesn't contradict that they want their relationship to remain private. They just want it to be known that there is a serious relationship here. And Nicola and Jake I think are just living their life, not trying to hint at anything but also not hiding.

[beetrotxo]

emo meow meow wet cat ghost green wannabean

hiiii alo this definitely didn't take me twelve years. nope. i answered this the moment it was aksed

ANYWAYS YIIIIIPPPEEEEE THE GHOST GUY

hes so emo and wet cat core. man goes "I CONTROL THE WIIINNNDDD" and like. fails at climbing a mountain or smth hes so funny TOT

this is less of a thing and more of a moment but. WHY DID HE SIT IN SOME BONE CHAIR WITH TEETH IN IT THAT ONE TIME. WHY WAS HE DOING THAT. he thought he was SO cool. imo he looked like a little kid that just got permission to sit at the adults table he looked so SILLY.

WHERE DID HE EVEN GET THE BONES........ morro u look so stupid rn please stop.

3. "auto...graph...?" seeing morro not understand modern technology will never not be funny to me. this man got hit with a GRENADE and he STARED AT IT FOR THREE MINUTES BEFORE THINKING "oh this explooooodddeeeess" AND THROWING IT BACK.

4. umm uhhh destiny duo, green cousins or ghost duo. im indecisive.

5. uuuhhhhh, i mean i dont really ship him w/ anyone + i think it might be a hot topic b/c of his age?? idk

6. UUUHHHHHH. barring any of the obvious ones? i lowkey dont really get citrus shipping ;-;

7. this is more of a silly thought i had than a real headcanon, but i think that Morro spent a lot of time training and preparing to take on the green ninja and take his place. and he had to be well versed in a lot of skills.

cue morro saying "i MUST defeat the green ninja" to the preeminent then, with the most serious expression ever, pulling out a tuba and playing it perfectly.

SORRY THIS IS SO DUMB BUT EVERYTIME I THINK OF IT IT MAKES ME CACKLE. what if he needs to beat the green ninja in a tuba off.

8. redeemed morro is pink. magenta to be specific. every other redeemed morro color can go home hes barbie pink or bright magenta

9. anything MCR related no i will not be elaborating (especially mama..)

any scene where hes on his dragon + that ENTIRE fight scene on the boat. bonus points if the ss is from the end of winds of change when nya goes "hes found his second wind" and morros theme kicks into full gear as the dragon roars. that was sick.

[wytfut]

Love lost?

To get going on this entry, I need to explain where I came from.

Not being derogatory toward girls, but I'm not sure that what they read here will be understood. Isn't this a guy thing?

Growing up middle income Nebraskan, with God fearing Methodists.

My parents came from what now would be perceived as extreme conservatism. No card playing. No dancing. No alcohol. Go to church twice a week. All of these "rules" were broken one way or the other occasionally by my parents, but it was their guide to being good people.

Pop, although I do show him here sometimes more negative than what makes a lot of folks comfortable.... Was a real life hero in my eyes. An invincible law enforcement officer with wide respect all over this end of the state.... even more.

Mom who I also tell tales that can be interpreted wrong, are also written here. She in her own rights created a world wide reputation within the blood bank, as a RN, and an active extrovert within the community.

They were good hard working folks, with a staunch background from Mid Nebraska, with lofty goals I tend to believe were accomplished.

The best I would ever hear out of their mouths was usually third person, and when they'd want to talk serious. As in "you know we love you very much..... right?".

Never the less... I loved them both very much .... as it should be.

,,,,,

I never saw or heard my folks say in public in person say they love each other. Never saw them hold hands. And growing up with this was the norm for me.

My interpretation I believe why this was so, was because of their up bringing. No public affection ..... There is no doubt they loved each other.

And I followed thru this mode with my growing up, includeding other luggage..... namely saying you love someone is extremely personal, plus with my young age, if said, could be an huge embarrassment within my peers, that no doubt touched trust to a point. It was HUGE to hold hands with any girl I'd be courting, let alone say "I love you".... it would take everything I could muster, to hold hands. I'd want to, but didn't know how, as silly as this seems.

Maintaining this line of thinking has made my life likely more difficult than needed, or even worth me writing it down. But so it goes, it is huge in my understanding of how things work.

.....

Patti (Toots), the love of my life, has heard me say "I love you", but most likely not near enough. And I regret it.

Growing up the way I did, I had to fit the proper appearance.... that's the way I saw it. "be a manly man" "do manly things" "don't cry" "is this how you want people to remember you".... these all have gotten me to this point in life, right or wrong, here I am.

Around 50 years old.... My oldest, in an emotional moment told me he loved me. I teared up immediately.... I had never been approached that way before, let alone by a family member. I tried to reply, but it just came out all garbled and choked. Still though it felt good....

It wore on me, and anytime my mind would go idle, I'd relive it. Sometimes like a punch in the gut, sometimes tears of exhilaration, and moments of confusion.

A few years later, I was writing an email to a long time high school buddy.... and finished off with a "I love you man". It was a good thing he knew me VERY WELL, otherwise it could have been one of those embarrassing moments. I'm still amazed to this day, that I blurted that out on a long distant email. I realize now, it made our friendship much more binding..... REAL...

As time marched on, I was still very apprehensive about saying such a thing to anyone, but on rare occasion I could get it spit out with my family. It is a long road.....

Sometimes via text, and rarely but it was done in person.... Did I really say that?

Its still very difficult for me to say. Its extremely real in my opinion, reserved for exceptional moments.

..........

I feel I have a huge network of close friends. Not sure if they feel that way also, but believe it is so. It would be very difficult to rate them to, "who is my best friend". I can't do it. It'd be like trying to say which is your favorite child. I can't do that either. I'd guess I have in reality about 10 best friends (actually maybe a much bigger number). All of these people I can count on, even if I don't see/communicate with them for great lengths of time, and me vice versa.

People who I can depend on. The old quote from me to my boys: "a best friend is the guy that will get out of bed at 2 in the morning, because you are stuck in the snow,". A person can change this to apply to many things many ways.

..........

From my life experiences, it seems we all hide behind some sort of imposing public image. Some folks can let it down easily, some cannot. Knowing my close friends, it seems easy to understand who can, who cannot. But its all understood, with no regrets towards any of them. Hey folks we are just people trying to get along...

...........

A clever man last night threw out a "I love you" last night on the phone, but said in a reflective way, that guys do, but with underlying other meanings. My radar popped.

It wasn't because I don't love this guy (I truly do), but he threw this out there, and laughed, and I too nervously laughed.

By nature, in normal conversation.... well I saw it as breaking the guy code. In reality, it didn't. We are very close.... almost cosmic brothers. But it was unexpected. And it affected me enough that I had to write this.

..........

And there it is... I'm a bit neurotic. Think too much about petty things.

Gotta admit, I love a lot of people....

[socialbunny]

15 questions for 15 mutuals :3

i was tagged by @annieshowell, @obsoletepixels, @goatskickin, @shitysimp, @sicksadsim and @jsasimmer <3333333333 thanks guys ily >:3

are you named after anyone? no, my mom had two names she wanted to pick for me and she and my dad settled on the one i have. but she was alsoo watching this movie in the hospital and one of the characters has my exact birth name so i think that cemented the name lol. and my name dirk, i named myself after dirk dreamer bc he's so me fr

when was the last time you cried? can't remember exactly

do you have kids? No I don't need that that in my life rn

do you use sarcasm a lot? I dooo, never in a mean way tho bc i feel like using sarcasm to mask how u feel abt some1 is pussy fr. i love joking around and poking fun and just being silly and weird and chillin like? irl personality is hit or miss with people. ive been told i talk back too much or always have something to say like? 😭

what sports do you play/have you played? when i was in elementary school i was in a dance group (terrible at it i have no rhythm at all it's honestly embarrassing) and when i was in high school i was in a tennis class (which was a PE alternative where we honestly never did shit tbh, towards the end of the school year we'd just be in the computer lab most of the time) and i considered joining the actual team but i also sucked at it 😭 and i really don't like doing team shit esp sports bc people start acting weird and i start getting real agitated.

what's the first thing you notice about other people? like physical i guess their outfit and hair and other shit i wear my glasses forr but shittttt, like just talking to someone i can catch their vibe really quick. just the way someone talks can tell you a lot abt them

eye color? Brown

scary movies or happy endings? it really depends on what the movie is

any special talents? nothing in particular i can think of. i think anything i do i'm really good at but not especially good at you know. i used to be told i'm really good at drawing but i was told this by the type of ppl who say they cant draw a stick figure so. take that as u will

where were you born? Texas 🤠

what are your hobbies? I love drawing and writing and reading and all the shit in that sphere of hobbies in theory 😭 been in a slump lately and doing shit seems harder than it needs to be. I love watching animation analysis and critiques, and listening to those 3hr vids of ppl talking abt shit i will never watch or care about while i do other bullshit. i really like making renders right now it gives me something to do without getting distracted too much. i also love playing really old shitty video games that have pages of cut content on tcrf

do you have any pets? No :( never had any pets when i was a kid either bc my mom had a whole bunch of dogs as a child and she didnt fw the idea of having any more animals in her house

how tall are you? 5'4 :)

fave subject in school? I love English (predictably I guess 😭)

dream job? i'd love to work in the animation industry in any way possible <3 or work in tv in general. probably have my own cartoon some day but thats such a stretchhhhhhhh i cant even work on my sims fanfiction or any oc shit LMAO. if not then i'd accept nothing less than a job where i don't have to talk to a lot of people and get payed billions of dollars to do bullshit

i dont have 15 ppl to tag since i do ask games so slowlyyyyy but i'll tag @despairoftheendless, @junkskoer, @faghotline and @hyperthinks !!! <3