#I just realized I am replying these all on the wrong blog but I'll just keep it going.

[lightsoutnaway]

Pile Up

PAIRING- Lando Norris x gn!reader (they/them pronouns)

SUMMARY- After a pile up during a race Lando asks to have you on the radio. You get nervous about Lando's career after realizing how dangerous it could be.

WARNINGS-none

WORD COUNT- 1,892

AUTHOR'S NOTE- New blog and first f1 fic. i don't know how much i'll be posting but i need to get my f1 obsession out in writing.

You were sitting in the McLaren lounge watching as Lando drove around Monaco’s track. You always loved the home races. It meant you got to go home to your own bed after Lando secured his win. Lando was in third, behind Lewis and Max. The race was tight, everyone piled close to each other at every turn. Max made a move for first at a tight corner. Lewis tried to push him out, turned too hard, and spun out. Max’s car followed suit, being thrown into a wall. Lando drove past Max’s spinning car before you watched him collide with Lewis and slide into a wall. Then the video feed turned away from the cars, suddenly focusing on the grandstands. You rose without a word and started running towards McLaren’s garage. One of the McLaren security guards tried to stop you, but you pushed his arm off you and he didn’t have the heart to go after you. You found yourself in the garage, everyone turning to see your very loud entrance. You looked at Zak. 

“Is he okay?” You cried out in question. A camera was turned on you. 

“Yes,” Zak said. “He’s stuck in the car.” Zak turned back to the computers and spoke into the headset. You stood in the back of the garage hugging your arms around yourself and listening intently to everything Zak was saying. 

“…Yeah, they’re here…Not now, Lando. Let’s just get you out of there…Yeah, they are, but—Yeah. Alright, Lando. Hold on…” Zak turned away from the computer and walked towards you. He pulled his headset off as he approached. 

“Lando wants to talk to you,” Zak said. Your eyes widened and you took the headset from him and pulled it over your ears. 

“Lan?” You called into the microphone. You could hear him grunting in pain. 

“Hi, love,” he replied. 

“Lan, what’s going on? I’m scared. I’m not supposed to talk to you on the radio,” you said. 

“Just want to—ah—hear your voice,” he said, gasping between his words. Your eyebrows were furrowed together as you heard your boyfriend gasping in pain. 

“Lando, are you hurt? What’s wrong?” You asked, tears starting to slip from your eyes. He didn’t answer. “Lan?” 

“I’m not hurt,” he managed to get out. 

“Lan, why am I on the radio with you? What’s wrong?” You asked. 

“The car’s on fire. And I can’t—ah—get out,” he said. You looked up at the pit wall. Zak was on a new headset. 

“Two minutes out on back up fire support,” he called over the headset. 

“Would—mm—Would you all mute except y/n?” Lando asked. 

“Lando, we need to be in communication right—” Zak started to argue. 

“I’ll tell them if I need you back on. I want a minute alone,” Lando said firmly. Zak pursed his lips. 

“Alright, everyone off.” You watched as everyone began pulling their headsets off. 

“Lando, what’s going on? Why are you doing this?” You asked.

“I love you,” he said, as if that were such an obvious reason to have you on the radio—an unprecedented occurrence in the McLaren garage. “I want to be with—mmpf—with you right now. Even if it’s just—ah—over the radio.” 

“Why? Tell me what’s happening,” you begged. 

“You’re the best thing—agh—that ever happened to me,” Lando said, ignoring your questions. “I loved every second.” 

“Lando, are you trying to say goodbye?” You were crying. 

“I’m—mmpf—I’m okay, love. It’s going to be alright,” he said. 

“Don’t say that,” you whimpered. “It makes it sound like it won’t be.” 

“Fire support is thirty seconds out,” Zak called over to you. 

“Just hang on, baby,” you begged into the headset. “Zak says they’re almost there. Just hold on a little longer.” 

“I see them, love,” Lando told you. “Get Zak back on for me. I’ll be back soon.”

You signaled for Zak to put the headset back on and you watched as everyone in the McLaren garage simultaneously moved their headphones over their ears. Andrea was immediately questioning Lando, and instructing him how to keep himself protected while they got him out of the car. You stood with your arms wrapped around you waiting anxiously. After a few minutes the chattering on the radio had ended. Your heart was racing, terrified of what that meant. A safety car pulled up to the McLaren garage and Lando climbed out of the passenger seat. Lando searched the back of the garage for you, striding quickly across the garage to wrap you in his arms once he saw you.

“Lan,” you whimpered. 

“I’m alright,” he assured you. “Totally fine.”

“I was scared—the way you were talking—I thought—”

“I know. I did too,” he whispered into your ear. Your hands were digging into his suit as you cried into his neck. “But I’m okay.” 

“I can’t lose you,” you whimpered into his neck. 

“You’re not gonna lose me, sweetheart,” Lando said. He didn’t call you ‘sweetheart’ often. It was a nickname he had never used outside of the house before. The change felt serious to you. He would call you ‘sweetheart’ when he was comforting you. He didn’t use it any other time. 

The next few hours felt like a blur. The rush of fear seemed to have let time drift by you. Lando was checked by the medical officers. He did his press. He had his debrief. You were back at his place before you even realized it. 

“You alright?” Lando asked when you stood motionless in your bedroom. You turned to look at him, as if broken from a trance.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” you said. “Just tired I guess.” You quickly changed into your pajamas. You got into bed, immediately scooting over to Lando and laying your head in his lap while he sat against the headboard and scrolled on his phone. His empty hand immediately went down to your hair, running his fingers through it. 

“Have you been on twitter since we got home?” Lando asked. 

“No,” you said. “Something funny?” 

“No,” he answered. “People are talking about what a sweet couple we are,” Lando said. You tilted your head to look up at him. 

“Did we get caught making out somewhere?” You asked. Lando laughed. 

“No, you muppet,” he said. “They think it’s sweet that I had you on the radio.” 

“Oh.” You said. Lando raised an eyebrow. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked.  

“I just sort of wish that nobody else heard that,” you said. 

“Just because they heard it doesn’t mean it wasn’t just for you, sweetheart,” Lando said. 

“I know, Lan,” you assured him. He reached down to your chin, turning your head so he could look into your eyes. 

“Nobody is a part of this but you and me,” Lando said. “They don’t know about us.” He smirked as he said it. 

“Did you just make a One Direction reference?” You asked. 

“Maybe,” Lando said with a mischievous smile. You rolled your eyes. 

“So genuine,” you chuckled. Lando wound his fingers with yours. 

“I’m serious though,” Lando said. “They’ll never really understand how we feel about each other.” You smiled and reached up with your free hand to cup his cheek, gently pulling him down to kiss you. 

“I love you,” you told him when he leaned back. 

“I love you too, baby,” he assured you. You hummed before turning back to lay more comfortably. Lando smiled as you fell asleep in his lap. For the next week you were always by his side. Lando was on break but he still had practices with Mclaren and you were there at every single one. You would barely leave Lando alone. He loved it. He had always felt like he needed you more than you needed him. It was nice for him to feel like you couldn’t get enough of him. He was laying on the couch one evening when you curled up with him. He decided he should finally ask you about it. 

“What’s got you like this for the last two weeks?” Lando asked as you snuggled into his side.  

“Like what?” You asked. 

“All cuddly. Usually you make me beg you to admit you need me,” Lando joked as he started dragging his fingers against your scalp. You were quiet. Too quiet. Lando stopped moving his hand and craned his neck to look down at you. “Baby? What’s wrong?” 

“I’m scared, Lan,” you admitted. 

“Scared of what, love?” He asked. You sighed. 

“That pile up in the last race,” you said. Lando’s eyes softened. The look on your face when he walked into the garage had been more terrified than he imagined you could ever be. “I just—I guess I never thought about how dangerous it really is before.” Lando pulled you up so you were lying over his body. 

“I’m sorry, love,” he said. “I promise you that I’m always driving safely.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I know, Lan,” you told him. “It’s just scary now.”

“That’s why you’ve been coming to all my practices,” Lando said in realization. 

“Yeah,” you admitted. “I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to you and I’m not there.”

“Nothing is going to happen. Everyone in the crash is alright. Lewis got the worst of it and he’ll be back in a month,” Lando comforted. 

“He got lucky. You got lucky,” you said. 

“The cars are safe, love. You know the engineers are good,” he reminded you. 

“You’re going over two hundred miles an hour in a box made of carbon fiber filled with gasoline,” you said. “So much could go wrong.” Lando sighed. 

“I know,” he said. “But there’s nothing we can do about it.” You hummed quietly at his words. Lando knew what it meant immediately. “Baby,” he started to protest. 

“I didn’t say anything,” you defended. You knew what he meant too. 

“I can’t quit. You know that,” Lando said. 

“You could. You just don’t want to.”

“We need the money if we want to keep living here,” he said. 

“Lan, you know we don’t really need this whole house,” you pointed out. He sighed. 

“What would I do then? If I didn’t have racing?” He pushed. His voice was flatter than it usually was.

“You have Quadrant,” you reminded him. Lando’s hands had stilled the patterns they’d been drawing on your back. He took a deep breath.

“Love…That’s not the point,” Lando started to argue.

“I know you’re not going to quit, Lan,” you stopped him. “I would never ask you to quit anyway. I know what racing means to you.” 

“Oh.” Lando was expecting a fight when you started talking. Everyone else who had this talk with him had always told him to quit. 

“But I thought you were going to die so I can still wish you would quit,” you said. “At least for another week.” Lando smiled softly down at you.

“Okay, baby,” he said. He kissed the top of your head. “That’s allowed.” 

“Promise me it’ll be okay one more time,” you asked in a whisper. Lando heard the worry in your tone. He heard the fear. He heard the way you needed him. Even if he didn’t really know–even if his job was just as dangerous as you feared, he knew what you needed to hear.  

“I promise, sweetheart. Nothing’s going to happen to me. I’m always going to be with you.”

[lorynna]

Seperate post because I am unable to reblog yesterday's debate about sex-selective abortions:

Down below is the link to the full blog post if anyone is interested in reading the whole thing. I am just going to reply to a few of the absolute insane and brainrot takes by @aux-squiggle :

1) "I'm sure you'd (correctly) chastize me if I went on every post with someone having bleach & dyed hair crying about how hair bleach harms the hair and saying "yes I understand it's your body and I'm not against your autonomy but hair dye is so stupid" at some point one realizes that it's just my opinion on hair dye and I should shut up unless explicitly asked for my opinion, which at no point were you asked for your opinion on what I'll do or (what you think) makes sense to do with my body."

Starting right off, it's actually the first time I ever spoke about sex-selective abortion on here, so me "going on every post" is wrong and intentional inflammatory wording. The comparison between dyed/bleached hair and abortion lacks heavily - it's also ridiculously stupid. I'm sure what you do with your hair and the policies surrounding it is an equally political and complicated topic like abortion. Even if you should go around telling people "Sure, do your thing, dye your hair but it's unnecessary in my opinion to promote the beauty industry by partaking in it, because it makes money off of women's insecurities" you have the right to speak your opinion and reblogging another person who's stating their opinion, who's stopping you? Surprise, you can speak your opinion even without being asked for it! Some people will agree, some won't, that's the way it is! I'm sure you don't ask people you have differing opinions from each time if you please may reblog their post, or do you? This is the internet babe.

2) "Next thing idk where you've gotten this "trivilization of abortion thing" or making it seem like I have said abortion is a cutesy procedure with absolutely no harm but as poodle has said it's also very safe. Idk if you think every mention of abortion has to come with a full list of disclaimers but if you read me saying "I will get an abortion if it's a male" to mean "lol guys I get abortions every weekend let's go down to the spa for a pampering plus abortion trolololol" that's your own tbh. The issue is you view being pregnant with a male fetus (as opposed to a female one) as a trivial difference, when it's not trivial to me, many other radfems and indeed for many libfem women."

Surely not every mention of abortion needs to come with a huge list of disclaimers, after all you're not their doctor but idk about you, talking about "i will get pregnant and abort as many times as I have to, until I conceive a daughter" does sound very trivializing to me. Lastly, sure the future sex of anyone's baby means something different to anyone and a certain preference or even the so called "gender disappointment" is real and valid, but is it really the solution to spin the wheel on each pregnancy again and again until you get what you want?

3) "As for the race, sex, other attributes thing, as I've already established, since fetuses are not people and are not going to suffer if their mom gets rid of them, I don't care. I couldn't give a fuck if a white woman aborts a half POC baby tbh like that's her business. No POC suffers from her actions. I also refuse to have a half white baby.

Obviously that's easily addressed by me choosing a black African sire but if I were in a consensual relationship with a white male (would never happen because I don't date males but ygtp) I would abort because I don't want to birth a half Euro baby, as statically they pair up with Eurodescendants themselves. I already know you probably also think that's stupid but I have no wish to contribute to my oppressor's group in that regard either, even by a generational separation, as I know the most likely choice Afro/Euro biracial children make as opposed to monoracial black children.

To me, mixed (b&w) people are black, but ¾ white people are white. Having a monoracial black child means my grandchildren (if any) will also be black (mixed b& something else, or monoracial) meaning the family makeup is what I'm most happy with. Idc what my great-grandchildren (if any) are, I'm probably dead anyways.

So yes I would intentionally make choices, including that of abortion, that bring me the life I'm happiest with. Other women who do that are not my business, I don't care. They could abort because they don't like the star sign their kid is expected to have. A birth that brings the mother sadness, no matter how small or how frivolous the reason for sadness is, is not good and if she aborts to avoid that, all power to her."

That's....really interesting...to know. You have established you would not blink an eye for whatever reason people abort, be it their future baby's star sign, their sex or their ethnicity & race. Your reasoning for not wanting a non 100% black baby being that according to you they statistically are more likely to pair up with eurodescendants making you worry about your family tree becoming "less black"? Then you're going on about "who is black" and "who is white" according to you.

To clarify to anyone who does not know my stance on abortion: I am pro choice, I support every woman's right that does want to get an abortion, despite her reasoning. An abortion as the process itself is not tied to a moral aspect, as the fetus in these stages of development where an abortion is possible, is a non conscious clump of cells. However I do think that the reason for why a woman decides to abort can be criticised. For example: A woman wants to get pregnant and succeeds. She finds out the baby would be born in February, making it an Aquarius, so she aborts it. My stance on sex-selective is similar to how I view cheating on a spouse. I don't think cheating is right but I wouldn't want it to be illegal.

"Regarding pro-choicers saying "no one aborts for fun and silly reasons" and prolifers potentially using this as a clapback, what do you want me to do about that? There's far superior pro-choice arguments, and further to that, these are only fun and silly reasons to you. These are monumental to other people (including me), and since it's their womb they're the only one's who's feelings matter.

Again as I've told you, I will not censor myself for the sake of prolifers not getting offended, I genuinely could not give less of a fuck what they feel. They will always find a reason to hate on the pro-choice movement and since we understand prolifism is actually about tying women down to men and control of women, everything about both my and your lifestyles upset them. There's no placating their bs. If you are upset that I won't censor myself, keep it to yourself."

Making it seem like I gave a fuck about pro lifers and said "oh look at this poor pro lifer being so upset about your words!" instead of "you are actively harming the acceptance of the pro choice movement". You don't understand that the activism you are making is nothing the world is ready for yet. In most countries, abortion is completely banned and women who go through with it nonetheless are going to prison or are even paying with their lives. I am genuinly glad, that you are living in a progressive country where you can access abortion easily and safely and where healthcare even pays for it. Most people do not have that kind of privilege and pro choice activism firstly needs to focus on gaining acceptance by introducing people step by step to the movement, coming to them with facts and good arguments. You've got to understand your far rad stance is not realistically applicable as of right now.

"If in the 0.00001% chance the genetic test is wrong (which have functionality been at 100% accuracy for years, btw I've found several Irish based tests so I don't have to use an international product) at 8 weeks (and the tests after that) then I get several scans from 14 weeks on that also confirm the sex (and would be told if there is a discrepancy). If at those tests they find it's actually a male and the Y chromosome was somehow not picked up, I go to the UK and get an abortion then. If somehow it's not found out until 24 weeks+ (I'd have an easier time winning the lottery) I go to New Zealand for a 3rd trimester abortion. There's probably something wrong if it was missed that many times, at every single scan and test.

Have you prepared for nuclear war Lorynna? Have you decided what to do if a gamma ray burst sanitizes exactly half the planet (the side you're not on), and have you got a contingency plan on what to do if suddenly 4 billion people die? What if global supply chains collapse tomorrow (an actual likely thing tbh). Nuclear war and supply chain collapse at least are far more likely than a fetus being missed as male not only on the first genetic test, AND the tests after that, AND every single ultrasound after that. Idk about gamma ray burst though, probably the same likelihood.

If by some hellish demon reality I get stuck with a son then obviously I raise my son, as I've discussed previously in the linked essay."

Insanity. Proceeding to ask me about every possible catastrophic event that potentially happen and asking me if i prepared for it because yes, sure - it is exactly as unlikely as your baby to turn out being a boy despite all of your fancy tests. But glad to know that should the tests fail, you'll raise your son?

"" There's no reason to fight" "but I do have an opinion." As established, your opinion was unnecessary and uninvited, so it's very likely people will get mad at you if you call major life choices "stupid" without providing any reasoning beyond your feelings. Like I said, telling me what I should be ok with residing in my womb is nothing short of foul, and frankly unasked for."

Oh no! How evil of me, I dare to have an opinion and according to you it was unnecessary and uninvited! Oh man, so many people are going to get mad at me for calling major life choices stupid without providing any reason at all! At this point I'm almost 100% sure you're illiterate and typed your responses while blindfolded and with your left pinky toe. Claiming my arguments are feeling-based rather than objective criticism. And sure, because I said that if you were mature, you'd approach an intended pregnancy, accepting that both sexes can be the outcome of that and that a person who wants to get pregnant in my opinion should be okay with either, I am the worst!

[bloggingboutburgers]

hi! so, uh, I wasn't really sure where to send this, but you seem nice and (hopefully) have some advice. I'm aroace, specifically sapphic-oriented cupioromantic ace, and I think I have a squish on this one girl. or maybe mesh? idk. all I know is that I really like her and want to be close to her, I think the word for me is alterous attraction? or maybe platonic or aesthetic, because I think she looks really cool too. honestly, I'm not really sure what the heck I feel :') could be a crush, squish, mesh, or just wanting to be friends. uhh anyways, I'm not really sure what to do about it. idk, I guess I want to become closer to her?

anyways, sorry for bothering you. basically I was wondering if you have any thoughts on what im feeling, what I should do, and also maybe how you and your qpp got into a qpr with each other? if u dont mind.

oh! and congrats on you engagement, your 'no one can know I dont like sex' comics make me smile and also have helped me figure out myself! thanks.

Hey!! I'm so sorry I'm replying to this ask so late T^T Kinda buried myself in other projects of let myself get distracted for this blog for a lil while... Either way I hope I'm not too late TwT And don't worry, you're not bothering at all!! (Also thank you so much for the kind words, they mean a lot TwT)

I guess... Whatever you do about it is up to you honestly, as vapid as that probably sounds of me! Heck, maybe you've already taken some steps since writing to me too, late as I am...

I also don't wanna put a label on how you feel, because it's a very personal thing, but I'll say – honestly you don't even necessarily NEED to put a label on it, not yet or not ever (whatever works for you), if you're not sure how to call it. The most important thing is if you're vibing with what you are, besides that you don't owe anyone any explanation. Though I guess it's also understandable to want to know what to call it if you're gonna bring it up to her... But also (maybe I'm naive, but yeah) I think there's nothing wrong with just sincerely saying you don't know how to call things yet either, even to her. I feel it'd be fair to both of you still, personally.

As far as me and my QPP, I didn't do anything – they were the one who realized they had a squish on me and took all the steps originally to get it going 🙈 Which they told me was definitely nerve-wracking! But yeah, their handle is @civiart if you want to reach out to them too for more advice, or they can also answer further questions here on my behalf, they told me whichever is fine with them^^

But also in case it helps, I've actually drawn how it went down for us here in the past, and I tried to elaborate a bit on my own experience of a QPR here and here!

And sorry again for being late TwT I wish you the best though!

[hymemena]

Incorrect Quotes Sentence Starters

Feel free to change pronouns as necessary, and remember to specify muse for multimuse blogs. Some of these are from a generator and some are original from me.

CW: Suggestive, Swearing, Self-Deprecation, Witchcraft

—

"I don't hate you. I just said that you can't be trusted with or without supervision."

"You sure are pronouncing horny wrong."

"My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look."

"I know what a prism is! It's where you put bad people."

"I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!"

"I'll never be a cop. I'm gonna have to be a robber."

"I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people."

"I am so horny and angry all the time."

"Woah dude, premarital hand-holding? That’s just not cool or groovy."

"Pose as a team because SHIT JUST GOT REAL!"

"Pros and cons of dating me. Pros. You'll be the cute one. Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-"

"Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse..""

"I'm a witch. I mixed some herbs and crystals together and now my cat knows the f-word."

""What are you into?" is such a broad question, like do I reply with a TV series or choking?"

"I’m the sexiest bitch in this therapy waiting room."

"Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird."

[dearweirdme]

that jkker responded to you!

https://www.tumblr.com/jeons-catalyst/753758801558208512/hello-i-am-a-taekooker-who-doesnt-lurk-in-other?

Hi anon!

I’m not really interested in a back and forth with a Jkk account (though I realize I called this upon myself by making that first post 🙈). I'll reply to you, but I'm honestly not going to entertain this back and forth, because like that blog said, we are just not going to agree and it will become a back and forth with no end. I've spoken about Jkkrs in detail in the past, my opinions haven't changed, so people can easily search my tags if they're interested.

Because it’s a Jkkr, I’m not really that interested in their opinion. I have no doubts about Jk and Jm not being together, and in my opinion Jkkrs in general are wrong in their ideas about Jk and Jm and I think they are pretty wrong in understanding Sk culture, the music industry, closeting etc. The above mentioned blogger isn’t really an exception, even though they speak kindly of Jk and Tae’s friendship. They are still wrong about the nature of Jm and Jk’s relationship. And why would I put much value in someone who is in my eyes just plain wrong.

What they do, is describe the history of jm and jk’s friendship and i have no problem at all with that. It gets a bit weird when you directly compare moments of that friendship to another pairing (Tae and Jk). No matter how you turn it, both that admin and I would be comparing a romantic relationship to a best friendship.. and that is like comparing apples to oranges. Jkkrs have all these moments that they enlarge and make into this huge romantic story... but it's moments that they have been given by the company mostly (yes I am absolutely not refuting that.. it is obvious, and it is silly to even try and act as if that is not a business choice.) That does not mean that those moments are fake, but it means that there have been choices in editing made. A company will always show you what they deem is most interesting to watch and what will give them the most positive outcome. Admin says we don't see much of Tae and Jk together because they probably aren't together that much... but when we then do see Tae and Jk together outside of company content (HS show being clingy) it's only because it's something fun they do. The asumptions are huge. Admin only knows what Jk and Jm are like because they have been told though mostly company content.. and other members. Which brings me to this..

Suspecting that Tae and Jk are together, for me comes with the believe that when BH found out about them they tried to hide their relationship. I truly think that’s the reaction all Sk music companies would have to there being a queer in band couple. Had there been an actual romantic relationship between Jk and Jm.. I am convinced they too would have been hidden… but they clearly weren’t ... as is being portrayed even today (which is not my sole reason for not believing they are together btw). It’s easy to make fun of Tkkrs or to ridicule us even, because ofcourse there is a lot of vagueness and there are indeed things that we do not understand and that might possibly be weird. I cannot emphasize enough that we are possibly/probably talking about two men in a closeted relationship here though.. and there is an element of cruelness when you mock the possibility of that and what that entails. Closeting isn’t the ‘oh, just don’t kiss in public’ fluffy kind of closeting that some Jkkrs seem to think it is. It is cruel and it comes with extreme measures. It comes with actively hiding stuff and with lies at times. Ofcourse you are not going to see a ‘normal’ version of a relationship take place (whatever normal might be to you). There are plenty accounts of western artists having been closeted, there is no doubt in my mind that a Sk music company will be extreme in closeting their artists, and there is little doubt in my mind that for a long time Tae and Jk had no choice (except for leaving the company and their careers with a huge amount of debt) but to adhere to that. Is it nice to have to think about them keeping things from us and to think of possible lies and manipulation… absolutely not! But it is a reality for many queer people in which they are not to be blamed or ridiculed, because they haven’t got a fair choice. Talking about a closeted relationship automatically comes with vagueness.. that is basically the point. And I understand that to many that makes me and other Tkkrs look delusional, but for me what I see play out just makes sense in how I understand relationships, how I think a queer relationship would be dealt with by BH, and how I understand Tae and Jk and BTS members in general. It makes a whole lot of more sense than to talk about a friendship that is highlighted by the company as though they are a closeted couple. You have to take into account Sk culture and not only when it suits you in case of couple holidays. Queer people have it hard in Sk, and there is nothing to make us believe that BTS members would be the exception to that.

Jkkrs can talk all they want about looking at what they see, but when push comes to shove… even the admin you refer to is quick to go answer ‘you don’t know if they didn’t see each other on Jk’s birthday last year’ when confronted with Jm and Jk not having seen each other then. Many Jkkrs’ responses to the time when Jk and Jm seemingly did not see each other last year when Jm was working in Face was that ofcourse they saw each other.. we just didn’t know about it’ and they might be correct... we don’t know. Just like we have no clue about everything Tae and Jk do that we don’t see. I think they see each other often. I think all members see each other more often than we know of.

Comparing two bonds with each other is silly. It just cannot be done the way that blogger tries. Especially between Tkkrs and Jkkrs, because our sides are just not able to find common ground (except maybe for loving BTS in general). Look at your own relationships with your best friends and your partner.. it’s separate things that easily co-exist. Jkkrs and Tkkrs’ ideas cannot co-exist without butting heads. It’s very much up to what you think is the most likely situation. In my opinion Jkk being a couple isn’t possible, because they don’t act like one and because BH would never treat them the way they do had Jk and Jm been together romantically.

[aisquaredchoco]

Hey all, especially to those who left comments on my long post that I hope is the last of that kind...I appreciate everything you've said, and I was proved wrong when I thought I felt invisible during those times. So thank you for that! I'll never leave them unresponded though, but work went a little busier lately and now's the only time to reply to them all..

@kevinvoncrastenburg: "I'm glad you're back! I appreciate your transparency and the way you expressed yourself. I can only speak for myself but I really appreciate you and your content. Nonetheless I see your pov and think you found a healthy way for yourself to kind of slow down a little bit and focus on what's more important to you and the future of your blog. I will always be looking forward to new posts by you. Wishing you all the best and again: You ARE appreciated! 🙏🏼"

-- Thanks for the reassurance, and knowing someone's still looking forward to my stuff is more than enough. I still love my craft, that's why I'm not deciding to leave. I'll get tired, but I won't quit..

@pudding-parade: "I long ago determined that to be a "popular" CC creator, you need to do things with clothing, accessories, and hair. I'm guessing the reason is that some people don't even play the game. They just make sims and then dress, pose, and take pics of them to edit. I've never wanted to be "popular" because, frankly, it's a pain in the ass to have eyes on you and what you're doing, so I guess it's a good thing I never liked doing things with clothing and hair. LOL But yeah, it's just how it is. It doesn't mean that the things you DO share are unappreciated, though. I appreciate your TS2 conversions, in particular. :D"

-- I also figured that simmers I follow spend more time with sims and mostly show CAS cc, so I once thought "why not make CAS stuff too?" but held back because I know making them is more tedious than buy/build. I realized I won't have go that far just to acheive popularity, and of course we know being popular comes with a price. I choose inner peace, so I quit being too ambitious in that sense. Thanks too!

@nornities: "Hm, to me you are "a household name", here as well as on MTS. I'm not sure what makes a creator a household name. I created worlds, well liked by some, unknown to most. Am I a household name? I don't think so. So I think you are right, it's a lot about expectations. But your good health is the most important thing, and that you enjoy what you do (and playing the game). So I'm glad you don't retreat entirely! Take care!"

-- Ohhh...really? Even on MTS huh..*blushes* Anyway, thank you for thinking of me as such. Well in that sense, I think you earn the reputation of being a household name as well! And yeah, as I said I choose inner peace and just enjoy playing (and making cc)..

@nessysims: "You have every right to want recognition. It `s naturally. And I really appreciate your CC! I absolutely love and almost always use your repurposed uni desks. And your wood texture is an irreplaceable thing for me! I use it everywhere and it's my favorite."

-- Thank you for letting me know! It's truly appreciated. And while I have the right to get recognized in what I do, wanting too much of it becomes a problem, so it's a good start if I quit with such mindset..

@curmudgeonness: "Welcome back! I'm glad you will not be leaving. I hope you find the balance you need to thrive here. I'm sorry I don't tag creators when I use their content, but I'M EXTREMELY LAZY. I have stopped downloading S4 conversions. They're generally clunky and don't fit the (my) S3 vibe. I like S3 edits, new S3 functional objects, and S1 and S2 conversions. I always look forward to your posts."

-- Yeah, I'm not leaving. And no, don't apologize. It's fine if you don't tag creators, you're not obliged to do so. I guess I was just expecting too much from people who download my stuff, but do not want to actually force them. And thanks for the warm welcome too..

@puffkins2000: "Yayyy! I'm happy you're back! Honestly, I get the "household name" thing. I guess I sort of tried that as well. I like converting because I want those conversions in my game---and pretty much any other EA conversion. If I see it's not been converted and I have that pack, I'll totally try to do it. I rarely get a ton of likes, but at least if someone DL's it, they wanted it!"

-- Thank you for the warm welcome! Yes, that's the core mindset I also want to have when making cc 🙏. And yeah, I also tend to forget that download numbers also matter and so far I got a fair amount and maybe that's enough.

@parystrange: "To me you're one of the creators who's CC I know is quality, safe, and exactly what I want in my game. I wouldn't worry too much about being a "household name" , I think you'll always have your dedicated users, who love your content, and I personally think that is just great! I use a lot of your stuff, but I rarely post gameplay pics so you, and the other people I download from, rarely see your stuff in my game. But it IS there, I promise! 💕Also, I think the more well known you become, the more the community seems to expect from you, and from what I've seen, it appears to put a lot of pressure on to people. I don't think you'd want that ( I know I wouldn't anyway ) I never see any of my downloads in people's games - I don't have many, but I don't mind if I don't see it, I just hope people enjoy it, and that's enough."

-- Thank you for reminding me that 😊. And you're right, popularity may come with perks, but also with disadvantages. I've seen some unsolicited (and sometimes rude) requests to some popular creators and I don't want to garner that kind of attention..

@gifappels-stuff: "It shows great character and maturity to self-reflect and self-correct 💐 Do not worry so much about recognition... it is very much subjective. Just play (and enjoy) the game, and share whatever comes forth from that. All of us have lives beyond Sims 3, and sometimes, people are just more involved in their own problems and everyday lives. So don't take it personally. Rather, try to take satisfaction from the fact that you created something that brought you happiness 💝"

-- Yeah I'm kinda embarrassed that I had an ambitious mindset back then. I realized there's more to life than overthinking if people really like the stuff I make. Thank you for the words of support!

About the photo: I also got a new kitty! (the orange one) So I made him in TS3 too. Name's Ponkan by the way, and he's very sweet and chatty, always makes me feel better whenever I feel sad or stressed. He and Cloud are getting along in the game but not in real life though lol.

[cursed-sonic-opinions]

Am I likely to sound rude, nosy and very annoying by replying uninvited to https://www.tumblr.com/cursed-sonic-opinions/761501640501182464/here-to-share-my-unpopular-silver-opinions-because?source=share ? Well, maybe, but this has really gotten me. So I'll go with it.

Firstly: that's NOT an unpopular opinion, that's a mainstream opinion, I would bet money that, at the bare minimum, that's the opinion of 80% of the IDW Sonic readers. The unpopular opinion is the one that got blogs analyzing and explaining the japanese material, known by a really small part of the western fanbase, to explain why they consider IDW's take incorrect.

he's just mellowed out because he's matured

Well, this point even could be an explanation, if one of the Head Writers for the comics hadn't stated that he doesn't consider this to be the case in here: https://www.youtube.com/live/Y6N6Yq8XqlM?si=v8SResqGkrGNpdNB (around after 1:01:00 of the video)

When questioned if he knew Silver was rude in the japanese material, the Head Writer said "well, he's not rude in any other media", nothing like "well, he was, but now he's got friends yunno" proving he doesn't think Silver was rude for start, what contradicts the games: he calls Sonic a joke after fighting him (in 2006) and tells Knuckles "I have no time to deal with someone like you" (in Rivals) meaning that he doesn't remember these moments at best or that he never actually watched/played/read them at worst

In either case, his personality (in the comics) didn't change because he matured, but because Ian Flynn thinks he's always been like that.

Blaze says when they get separated that Silver gets insecure when he's alone

What 1) is not supported by anything in Sonic 2006 itself: after realizing they were separated, Silver darts off focused in locate the blue hedgehog on his own with no hesitation, he deadset focus on his mission even when nobody is there and makes no ceremony about facing the supposed Iblis Trigger alone. Note that the only times he doubts of his mission is because another character instigates him to do so (Amy & Shadow) and in one of these he does not hesitate to follow the complete stranger into a portal to an unknown time and then he takes with no hesitation the mission to follow and deal with Iblis, the being that would destroy his world in the future.

And 2) is result of a wrong translation, all the versions I could find of fantranslations of the japanese cutscenes states that Blaze called Silver something like "rash" or "reckless", both traits are very tied to overconfidence, what is very much opposite to insecurity.

I also remember him having some pretty awkward moments in Archie's Silver Age arc

I must paraphrase a previous confession here: Archie is not the main canon, it doesn't matter when talking of the main canon; the games!

The only reason to compare IDW with the games is because it follows, or at least should follow, the continuity of the games, opposed to Archie that created its own, separated, continuity!

Silver goes back to Sonic's time period specifically to participate in Dodon Pa's race

What, by chance, is yet another thing in which IDW contradicts the games, IDW Silver stated in the 2022 annual that he was sent to the past every time, and in the Urban Warfare Silver says he "can't freely time travel", but then in the games, Silver's always been stated to actively choose to time travel to the past or back to his future, just like in TSR's case.

I think Team Sonic Racing exemplifies Silver's behavior when there's no immediate danger.

Indeed, specially the japanese version, in which that scene with Sonic is completely different btw.

Also I think we should remember of the Sonic Colors DS, the biggest threat he faces in there is Orbot and Cubot, and doesn't get involved with the plot, so we see him when there's no immediate danger.

There's also the Sonic & Mario at the Olympic games btw, while not canon, they're still a depiction of Silver when the stakes are lower and there are no immediate danger as well, and better: provided by SEGA themselves

In the IDW comics, the most "flanderized" I remember him getting is when he first meets Whisper.

What then defines his dynamic with Whisper every other time he interacts with her. He's always happy like a kid who just heard they're going to McDonalds when it's about Whisper. It's always him who talks how amazing she is, it's always him who talks how much a honour it is to work with her, it's always always him who talks he will honored to train with her team. Why doesn't she ever do something like it? Why doesn't she ever verbalize how honoring is to work alongside one of the greatest heroes, who is only less heroic, inspiring and determined than Sonic himself?

C'mon, he met Shadow, the Ultimate Life Form, and at most he let him know the truth about Eggman Nega; he met Knuckles, the Guardian of the Master Emerald, and dismissed him with no regret; he met Sonic motherfucking the Hedgehog, a legend in the history books and just complained he was on his way. He worked with these three to save the world and the most he had to say was "Guess this world is in good hands with these guys around" and that WASN'T EVEN TO THEM!

Even with Blaze and all the thing of a friendship transcending the timeline erasure he doesn't help but is somewhat snarky and makes the point to try and showcase his competence when they were facing fucking Orbot and Cubot.

He gets excited because Whisper saved his life multiple times so he looks up to her.

Very funny that he doesn't look up to Sonic motherfucking the Hedgehog, who is a world famous hero, worked alongside him to save the world and also saved him (I could get in the merit that Sonic saved him from motherfucking Infinite, Eggman's masterpiece by the time, while the comics so far only portrayed Whisper saving Silver from a single Egg Pawn, but that's another critic for another day)

He also doesn't get even a third that excited when talking about Espio, even though he was the only who believed him and helped him to save the world from Ifrit, he also doesn't even say a tímid "Thanks" to Shadow when he understands Mephiles' plan, thus meaning that Shadow prevented him from becoming the Iblis Trigger he so much believed Sonic was.

(on another note, maybe the criticism that Whisper having to save Silver's butt multiple times is undermining should have been my focus here and now)

The parts of it that are highlighted changed, but his personality as a whole hasn't changed.

Which is why instead of standing for himself against Lanolin and bringing up that Duo's face fucking shapeshifted and he looked at him smugly as ran away, Silver just didn't do anything, I figure.

Silver is confrontative, he makes the point to appear before Sonic and tell him why he's there in '06, he calls Infinite a liar when they fight (and a bad one btw) in the eng version of Forces (and in the jap version he still confronts him by saying there's hope while they don't give up) and even when Knuckles and Rouge mocked him for believing the Chao could save the world he was confrontative and stated they would thank him when the world were saved, so where's this confrontation when he's left to die, being stared by a smug smile?? Forces is very recent, so if IDW had not changed his personality, this side should have showed given the situation.

Also, another thing is that in the Rivals duology Silver is perceptive, seeing through Eggman Nega's disguise twice and given TSR even suggests he can get a feeling when something is off about someone, he should've been capable to see through Starline's mask and figured he was not a good person even if he didn't look like a bad or crazy person, being more time around friends would never make this characteristic vanish, it would actually make one more capable to identify who is genuine and who's not.

.

[yuseirra]

Thank you so much for the reply I am in fact very happy in reading your analysis it has been a while since I have read such a good take and well thought argument plus looking more into your blog I am fascinated by your posts you are a new fav of mine looking foward your posts about OnK next chapters, I am once again super happy about your reply I love aquakana ;; you do a very good work I really admire your talent it is refreshing and necessary

Thanks anon :) oh, you're so welcome! I went straight to bed after replying to your message earlier, it was nice seeing your ask first thing as I hop on tumblr!/// Aaa thanks for the compliment! ;v;) I could be biased, but I totally mean what I say.

I'm not worried about Aqukana at all because in terms of the ships in onk, I'm looking at a even more complex one right now with a lot of mess being thrown out.

No worries anon, that ship is just too obvious. Things did get a bit messy and confusing in the middle, but I knew it was going to happen and I was excited to learn I was on the right track when stuff like ch 146 and 150-151 happened. That's how I started reading more intently again~ I was following the series, but I wasn't this invested. The one Aqua has romantic feelings for is Kana. It's just.. stated there at this point.

Speaking of which, I "ship" hikaai right? more like I support what's just there... If we compare them to math problems, Aqukana would be like a linear equation, while Hikaai'd be calculus. I believe.. that Hikaai is sorta the advanced question-version compared to Aqukana. When I'm trying to crack that nut, Aqukana is just.. a much much easier question to solve. That's why I don't worry about the former at all. The former is just too clear as day.

Oh, goodness, and I already stepped in with 90% conviction regarding them(hikaai I mean), I don't play a game I end up losing. But this manga is making it so hard for me, I swear. It's super stressful although I realize they're probably doing it for entertainment value and Hikaru was a character we know literally nothing about through the entirety of the story with him being pinpointed as the "evil mastermind", to make it even worse. They gotta fulfill people's expectations about him by portraying him as menacing at least once or twice when he encounters the protags, I get that, but it's such a rough road I signed myself into. I know I have a high chance of winning though.

Fatal and Mephisto is EXACTLY how Hikaru feels about Ai. I'm serious, I just knew it the moment I heard Fatal like the first few seconds in. It was incredible how it felt, it can't be any other way and I have conviction that the author has them on their mind. but GOD, they make me so nervous. This manga makes me so tense. I was worried that I got anything wrong ever since I picked up this series AGAIN for like the past two-three months? was it? because their situation, if I get it wrong, could be deemed as unhealthy and toxic(NONE OF THE "MESSED UP" THINGS TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD IT ANY OTHER WAY. I KNEW. I JUST KNEW IT WOULD PLAY OUT TO BE LIKE THIS. HIKARU CAN'T DO SH- I look at the guy and he's just... too mild to the point he is naive. Ai chose her man well!!! I swear this has to be where the story will go!!! this is how it will go!! I JUST KNEW!! Just wait okay?? I'm sure I'll be right in the end),

Oh, I'm so sorry;; I really get carried away when I talk about them lately, this is Aqukana we're talking about. The point is, there's nothing you have to worry about the ship or those two who are involved.

I tell you though, I'm serious about psychology and picking up people's emotions. Let me bring up the fact that I major in Psychology AGAIN!!! I REALLY look at these things intently. If I'm wrong, then okay, I guess, but the author should not depict those characters this way if what I predict are to be false. I haven't had an instance where what I predicted came to be too off. I don't think onk will be an exception.

I like aqukana too~/// I'm looking forward to their date in the anime! ;v;) They're the ones who get entire chapters dedicated to their dates, seriously. why would you do that to a ship that would flop if you're the writer, don't worry about them AT ALL. Really, don't worry. I don't feel my take is particularly unique or special. They're going to happen sooner or later.

Thank you!// You're looking forward to my analysis? It's an honor! I wish I DIDN'T need to put out analyses though ;v;... I love putting my ideas out here but I usually do it in the form of fanworks, not words. I didn't know I could talk on and on about something, but I just could not stay still and I guess that's what's been pushing me! Onk makes me so tense and I get relieved when they go on breaks (This applies even after 160. nervous laughs I can draw in "peace", just.. lately, every chapter they have makes me wrap my head so much and I need time to process, I can't do this anymore, HELP ME, it's pain, would have I liked it better if I didn't like this series and its characters as much and cared less? loving something is PAIN) but I will hold out and do my best! 'v')9 Let's have fun together. If the series makes me want to write out how I feel, then I will do just that. I'm sincerely grateful for those of you who tolerate me and/or even enjoy what I could offer!

If something about Aqukana pops up in the story, I'd love to draw them again too!~//They've been missing for some time and they really do need their moment, the author must know too and it will come and happen. This is something I'm sure of regarding this manga. I don't know HOW it will, but I know that it WILL. Believe me on this! :)

[measlyfurball13]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼

Well, I'm a fic writer, so prepare for an esoteric assortment of fics in no particular order!

I'll open with my most recent, and the one I consider my best. This is a found family hurt/comfort fic starring Team Dark (comprised of Shadow the hedgehog and his two closest friends Rouge, and Omega, for those unfamiliar with the franchise.) Shadow is immortal, nearly indestructible, and saddled with some truly terrible PTSD around the ones he cares about dying on him, and it was interesting to portray that through a narration style I'd never tried before. This was also the fic where I really fleshed out how I write Omega, who is my all-time favorite character in the Sonic franchise. He's the most delightful blend of blunt and violent but also more caring than he lets on.

This one also deals with the unusually serious subject matter of post-mortem care. I remember waffling about posting this fic for weeks, worried that people would think a Sonic fanfic with such a down-to-earth subject matter would be scoffed at. Surprise! I was wrong. Once I posted it, this fic got a ton of positive attention, which I was grateful for.

Next up is a truly strange pick- it's a League of Legends fanfic, yet it's not about Veigar, the character I hyperfixated hard on for a solid year. I like the fics I've written with Veigar, don't get me wrong, but I like this one better. It stars Kassadin, a lone desert warrior who lost his family to the darkness he's trying to find the heart of, and Kai'sa, a woman who was consumed by said darkness but managed to wrestle back control of her body.

I really got to develop a unique character narration for the lead, Kassadin. It's a particularly strong, mature, and unique character voice, one that I enjoyed writing a lot and am quite proud of. I also leveraged some fantastic dramatic irony- anyone familiar with League lore knows that the monster he encounters is actually his long-lost daughter, Kai'sa. Yet his attitude towards that fact continually fluctuates, before ending on a negative-leaning note, something that was very challenging for me to do! (I'm a chronic therapy-speak writer, something I'm constantly working to avoid.)

I think it's underrated. League isn't a big fandom anyway, and I posted this onto an otherwise Veigar-focused blog. Perhaps I should post it on AO3.

I just had to mention one of my famous Sigma Overwatch fanfics on this list. I wrote a shitload of fic for this character, and almost all of it blew the fuck up back in 2019. I was the first person to post fic for Sigma once he came out on this website! (Not this fic in particular, mind you, but I thought that fact was worth a mention.)

Of my absolute deluge of Sigma fic, this is probably my favorite. The rest are good, but are a little simple. This one, though, has the thematic thread of "control" woven throughout it that I'm quite proud of. I also feel that this is the fic in which I captured the morally grey character of Moira the best- her emotions towards Sigma are complicated, but ultimately, she is his superior and the one responsible for a portion of his mistreatment here at Talon. This fic is essentially about her coming to that realization, and I think that's a powerful moment. It's a character dynamic I haven't seen anywhere else in media/fic. I'm proud that I wrote it.

Okay this next one is weird. By all odds, it should be my least favorite work, right? I'm not a romance writer. Doomfist is far from my favorite character. Hell, I'm not attracted to men, yet this fic continues to linger in my conscience as one that I'm immensely fond of.

I wrote it for and to evoke the writing style of the lovely amazing @ow-old-men. Gabe (op of that blog) has such fucking amazing imagery in his fics, and my imitation of that resulted in some of my favorite imagery and vibes I've ever written. I also think it's some rather strong character work- it's a moment where a confident, practically invincible socialite allows the mask to slip for just a second with a stranger.

Particularly, it's that singular moment that the entire fic was based around, the one that I suggested to Gabe in the first place. The idea that one of the proudest and most powerful men in the world would kneel for you without question so that you could kiss his forehead. Idk man, I still remain in love with the vibes of this one, even though it's so far outside the confines of my usual writing.

And finally, to finish this list off, I just have to plug my longest posted fic to date. This is my incredibly niche crossover of two obscure sci-fi shows that have my whole heart. It was also my first true practice at writing a long-form character arc, to which I think I succeeded.

Kitt, the AI from Knight Rider, wakes up far in the future and realizes that his closest companion is likely long gone. Over the course of this fic, he goes from wanting to deactivate to learning to open back up and allow a new person into his life. There's also some good ol' buddy-cop shenanigans between him and Garibaldi, the security officer aboard the space station that Kitt wakes up on, including a particularly fun scene where Kitt helps him cheat at cards.

This fic is showing its age just a tad with some of the writing and characterization of the Babylon 5 characters, but I'm still immensely, immensely fond and proud of it. Writing this fic taught me a lot that I'm applying to my current projects now. I wouldn't be where I am now without this one.

[lost-technology]

Issues of Fandom Past

I am sorry if I am feeling a little jumpy about blocks lately. (Turns out I solved the mystery as to why so many of my blogs are blanked out on some reblogs / replies from a mutual I've seen - the ops aren't doing it, it's because the moot apparently has a privacy setup for only moot reblogs / replies and I just realized it! Tumblr mechanics stuff. I swear, I've been on this site for years and learn something new every day. It's like playing Skyrim...) I think it's because I did run into, a couple of days ago, someone who didn't have my main blocked (didn't know about it) but had this blog / the Trigun blog blocked and I know why. I saw an old name from SPOOOOOOKY fandom-past come up on Ao3 and was all "Oh, I know that name!" and looked at their profile and saw their listed tumblr profile name, which I recognised when I tried to reblog something insightful I saw them say in terms of a '98 episode-review without commentary. And, nope, they had me blocked. I thought they would have forgotten about me or just not know me anymore / not find or care about the new username. Oh, well.

We had beef, like, 20 years ago. Over 20 years ago. This was someone who was part of a friend group in the old fandom I had a lot of fighting with and, ultimately, I came away with it feeling that I was the one who was mostly if not wholly in the wrong. My fighting started with the friend group when a then-friend of mine would antagonise people and then act like the bullied victim when they responded and would then rely on me as a "good friend" and a more aggressive person to fight their battles for them. Well, that's how it started and not where it ended. I got into it on my own with this set of friends and did my own wankery. I got into it with even more people because I used to have what I'll just lay out as "church-views" and hadn't yet accepted / contended with / or even knew it was a term - my own asexuality with mild sex-repulsion and got really pissy about people's ships and kinks in fandom and harped about the "immorality" of putting non-canon kinks into mah fandom! Yes, I was one of THOSE. But we all get older and hopefully wiser. Cringe dies (or gives way to new and hopefully more benign forms of cringe), but is forever remembered. I do remember, at some point, emailing a letter of apology to one of the friends in this friend-group addressing all and it being taken with gratitude, but I still hadn't examined everything that I needed to deal with at the time. I moved on since then, but I guess this is why my guts clenched when I saw one of the folks I used to know popping up again out of the Internet woodwork over on ol' Ao3 with updated fic-sets and on tumblr. I found out about the block when I was testing the waters on a comment-less reblog, in hopes I was forgotten, maybe, that my new username was unknown, or that we'd reached, after all this time, a level of truce. I don't want to try to be friends, but I think it would be nice if people in the old guard fandom could just pass each other in the hall, wave to each other and move on. Enjoy each others' art and insights, even. I see some people pop up from the old guard fandom. I haven't seen any of my old friends so far and have seen people I do not know who were apparently in other parts of the Internet in OG Trigun fandom who talk about it... but there are a few people who I see a name I recognize and gut-clench. No desire to fight because I'm like "Yeah, I was wrong, you were right, I've moved on," but get that clench because I am filled with shame over it all and am reminded of it. And then there's the matter of people whom I'd probably had problems with probably do have new usernames / different usernames on here and it's almost like? I'd like a list? So that maybe we can preemptively block each other so we don't accidentally share from each other and recoil from it if one or more of us aren't ready to clean-slate each other? I'd like to be clean-slated, but that is only something that guilty people want.

[the-haunted-office]

7 and 18!

TRUTHFUL TUESDAY

7. what’s one thing you could improve on?

Well, thanks to you and one other person for speaking up, I am working on improving the flow of my replies better, so they aren't as disjointed between the dialogue and actions of my muses. (/pos I just realized this might have come across sarcastic and it's not meant to be that way! x_x). I am hoping to improve on that, anyway, I'm really trying!

One other area I could improve outside of that is - I think I need to work on focusing more on creating bonds between muses and less on like, storybuilding, at least initially, if that makes sense. Being completely candid, I got used to having to build all the storylines and plots and everything myself over time because it has been a real struggle for me finding people to rp with, and I feel like... in many cases in threads, I've been the one who has to lead the thread. I'm trying to word that as carefully as possible because I don't want to feel like I'm putting anyone down or anything.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, because I feel like I'm having to lead threads and create storylines all the time, focusing on the bonds between muses kind of took a backseat over time when I really didn't mean for that to happen, and I feel like that might have been... offputting to people, I guess? I don't have proof of that, I don't know, all I know is that I have had a tremendously difficult time getting rp partners and holding onto them and gaining and maintaining traction on my blog, and even trying to get any sort of feedback from people as to what I've done wrong or ways I can improve has been a struggle, so I've been left trying to self diagnose and this is part of what I could come up. I don't know if it's even close to the mark, but it's what I've got. I want to try to focus more on building relationships between my muses and other people's muses.

Sorry that was long-winded, but there it is!

18. what’s your favorite trope?

I think found family has to be my favorite trope, at least that I can think of off the top of my head! I just love the idea of a group of misfitted individuals coming together and seeing the light in each other, and caring for one another and just choosing each other where they were rejected everywhere else. I feel that way so much about myself in my life so the trope feels really personal and warm to me. It's been something I've treasured as far back as I can remember, beginning with The Land Before Time. And actually, that movie is a huge part of this blog too, in the background. Littlefoot and his friends' journey to the Great Valley, how he lost his mother and how she guided him to the Great Valley, all the danger, how the world around them changed, the found family trope, just all of it. It's a beautiful movie and means so much to me, I'll treasure it forever.

[sassykattery]

Losses and Gains, Pt. 6

Here we go.

CW: MC is afab, uses she/her pronouns. MC is a demon and poly. Reader distress. Profane language.

Themes: Amnesia. Romance. DiavoloxMC. LuciferxMC. BarbatosxMC. Angst.

Characters: MC="you", Diavolo, Solomon, Barbatos, Lucifer.

Minors and ageless blogs DNI

18+ only

Enjoy~

After dinner, you went back up to your suite within the castle and looked around. You settled on sitting at your desk and going through your things. Seeing the Devildom Law book on top, you started with that and began reading, since it was undetermined when you'd go back to RAD, you decided it would be a good use of your time to at least learn, or rather, relearn, what you could.

Hours went by as you immersed yourself in your study, and all of a sudden, you were at the end of the book, much to your surprise. You set the book down and stretched. None of what you read sounded familiar, but at least you knew more about the law than before.

Hello.

You jumped and looked around, wondering where that voice came from, but no one was in the room. It was eerie sounding, but you couldn't place what it really sounded like.

"Hello?" You quietly said back.

What's wrong with you? The lights flickered when it spoke, and there was a chill to the room.

"What do you mean?" You asked in reply, keeping hushed. "Who are you? Where are you? Why can I hear you?"

Oh, you don't know who I am? Interesting. I'm your shadow apparition. Think of me as your sinful subconscious. You haven't spoken to me in weeks, so I wondered what was wrong. You don't remember anything do you?

"No. Do you?"

I do.

"Can you help me remember?"

I can. But it will hurt. Are you sure you're ready?

"Why will it hurt?"

Your brain shut down from the pain you experienced after your incident at Mont Blanc. As a way to process the trauma, you forgot everything that happened before you woke up. In order to remember it, I have to put you back through the pain again.

"Oh... Can I think about it? I don't... want it to hurt."

Up to you, doll, but don't take too long. The longer you go on like this, the harder it will be to get it all back.

"Okay, I'll try."

The voice stopped talking, and it felt like you were alone again, the chill of the room gone. Feeling weirded out, you put everything away and proceeded to change into pajamas and slipped into bed. It took a little longer to go to sleep, but eventually you did.

-

"MC?" Diavolo said as he entered your room. He knocked but received no reply. It was the middle of the night, and he padded over to your bed where you were lying. He waited several seconds as he saw your side rise and fall slowly.

"Forgive me," he murmured, slipping his arms underneath you to pick you up. He then carried you to his room and set you down in his bed. Once you both were tucked in, he cradled you in his arms. Truthfully, he had a nightmare about you, and wanted to find some comfort in holding you.

"Better?" You mumbled, and he stared down at you, realizing he woke you.

"I apologize, I had a nightmare and wanted to hold you," he whispered.

"'M sorry, that's okay," you murmured sleepily, nuzzling into his chest. "You wanna talk 'bout it?"

"I just worry about you disappearing again," he replied, stroking your hair.

"Mm, I'm here, I'm here..." you replied, drifting back off to sleep.

But you're not here, he thought to himself, looking down at your sleeping form. Come back to me, princess, I miss you.

-

"MC? It's rather odd you've asked to meet with me here," Solomon said, walking up to you at the steps of the House of Lamentation.

It had been a week since you'd woken up, and still only tiny fragments of recent memories resurfaced, but nothing of when you first showed up to the Devildom or of your human life before the exchange program.

"I need your help, follow me," you said, waving him into the house. You walked him into your bedroom and locked the door. Though everyone was at RAD still, you didn't want to be interrupted.

"What's this about?"

"I've heard stories about you, and I'm wondering if you couldn't help me with my memory. Surely, there's a potion or spell to help me remember?" You pleaded with him.

"Ah, I see. Simeon and I have been looking into it, but memory work is tricky business that involves the subconscious. You've started to remember little things, so I have hope you'll remember on your own in time, but if you insist, give me some time and I will get back to you for anything we could safely try," Solomon replied.

It wasn't the answer you wanted, as he could tell based on how you bit your lip. He put a hand on your shoulder, "Don't worry too much about it, MC. It'll only stress you out and make it harder."

He then took his leave, and you were alone in your room. Standing in desolate silence, you wondered if you'd have to make a decision. You turned to look at the pictures on your bedside, and something in you snapped.

"Gah!" You screamed out, fleshing out your demon form in anger. You sank to the ground and sobbed.

Lucifer was the first to arrive home, and your wails immediately got his attention, and he dashed to your bedroom door, knocking furiously and calling out to you. Not receiving a response, he opened the door to your rather pitiful state, on your hands and knees sobbing and your wings drooping in resignation.

"Darling, talk to me. What happened?" He said, kneeling down beside you and touching your arm. He pulled his D.D.D. out of his pocket, and immediately dialed Diavolo, setting it to speaker in hopes he would pick up.

"Did you remember someth–" he started to say, but you interrupted. Just in that moment, Diavolo answered the call in time to hear your response.

"I'm sick of not remembering! I hate how I'm being treated! I just want to fucking remember my life!" You screamed, escalating in volume with each sentence.

In his office at RAD, Diavolo stared at his phone, listening to you.

"I'm so sorry, I know, come here," Lucifer cooed, tugging on your arm. Your head snapped to him, and you glared at him with tearful and angry eyes, your voice filled with venom.

"You treat me different too. I see it in how you watch me. You always look so sad," you seethed. "I want whatever it is the old me had! And Diavolo, and Barbatos, and everyone else does it too! Stop looking at me like I'm not who you want!"

Diavolo sighed, rubbing his face in frustration and sadness.

Lucifer's eyes widened at your outburst, seeing you bristle and rage. Feeling intensely passionate, he grabbed your shoulders and forced you to keep still as he spoke to you in a tense voice.

"I apologize, but we are all doing the best we can here. You need to get a hold of yourself and calm down."

You stared back at him in silence, then the wrath subsided, and your demon form dematerialized.

"I-I'm sorry..." you apologized, slumping in his hold.

Lucifer took a deep breath, pulling you into his hold. "I know. I need you to hang in there a little longer, dove," he murmured. He ended the call with Diavolo and sighed.

Diavolo raked his hands through his hair back at RAD, wondering how to speed up the process of getting your memory back. He had everyone searching for answers, but nothing was coming up.

-

"Are you sure you'll be alright by yourself, mistress?" Barbatos asked as he brought you inside the castle. "I'm afraid I need to return to RAD, but the young master and I should return in just an hour."

"I promise I won't leave, Barb," you replied sweetly. He nodded and exited once more. It was the day after your outburst, and everyone was worried about you, so you knew why he was so concerned about leaving you anywhere, but if you were in the castle or the House, you were mostly safe.

Quickly, you walked to your suite and locked the door. You sat in the middle of your bed and sighed.

"Are you there?" You called out to yourself.

There was silence, and you started to wonder if you'd be able to talk to them.

Ah, there you are.

"Yes, I've decided. I want to get my memory back, your way."

Have you now? Well, go on and lie down. You'll need to go to sleep, and we'll start. See you soon.

As instructed, you tucked yourself into your bed, turned off your D.D.D., and proceeded to close your eyes, hoping sleep would come quickly.

---

Thanks for reading! <3

Post made by sassykattery. Do not repost. Reblogs and comments appreciated.

Tags:

@delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @itsmeninerz @themythicaldisaster @flemmingbamse @marvelous-maniac @dajitm @bontensbabygirl @obeymediasimp @frozengoldie

[alatismeni-theitsa]

Hey, nb anon here that asked that question about gender neutral names. I just wanted to thank you for the effort you put into replying and allowing me to reach more Greek people who are more educated than I am. you made me feel seen, provided extremely useful information, and connected me with other Greeks that I probably wouldn’t have been able to find otherwise. I am still thinking about how to proceed in light of everyone’s insights, but your kind words and vital information are much appreciated, I really am so grateful for the fact you give Greeks from all over the world and in diverse communities a voice in their culture. You don’t have to post this, but if you do, then I would love to thank everyone who contributed to the discussion and provided their insights.

Also, off topic but I think it’s important, please take care of yourself! I bet it can feel like you’re under a lot of pressure to help people and never be wrong, but I hope you know you can take a break and take care of yourself. Please please take care of yourself, you are a vital voice in our community but your wellbeing is also important and I hope you don’t forget that.

I am so grateful for you and the community you have brought together, thank you very much for your advice and thoughts! Please don’t feel pressured to post this or respond to this, just take care of yourself and know your work is benefitting others!

Thanks a ton dear! Ευχαριστώ πάρα πολύ! I think this is one of the kindest messages I've received and I can't describe how much it warms my heart! I appreciate all the time you took to write to me! 💙💙💙I'm posting the ask to give you my thanks in return, and also to make your gratitude known to the people who gave info on your request :)

It is pressure to be seen as a point of reference because people assume I can't be wrong, or that I believe I cannot be wrong 😕 And surely, I'm trying to give accurate info or give people access to accurate info but I can't be perfect. Sometimes it takes weeks or years to realize what I could've done better.

I'm only one person with various medical difficulties so there are time and energy constrictions. I really like receiving asks, and I love offering whatever info I have! No one is forcing me to write walls of text at a time 😂 Sadly, sometimes there are observers (not the kind askers themselves) who want to see JSTOR quality answers here that cover absolutely everything, and if they don't see it they dismiss the whole message completely. Or they don't offer some counterpoints that I'd be happy to discuss.

Buuuut this is Tumblr and I'm an ill, chronically exhausted potato* and they should remember the site we are on. (And that they don't even pay me to give me a headache with aggressive and bad arguments😂 I don't do that much for free anymore! 😂)

(*ok no one has actually diagnosed me with "potato" yet, but ONE DAY I'll add this diagnosis to my collection🙌 Maybe when I die and my body feeds the earth and then sprouts a potato?? A theitsa can dream 😂)

In any case, I do want to keep a community here and set the ground for Greeks and Greek citizens to be heard when it comes to matters of our culture and/or country. I created this blog cause no one else would do it. I don't have all the answers but I can only get wiser and more responsible with time! And I'm very happy when I hear good news about people who've been helped!

Good grief... I just realized I fell into the conversation pattern of an older Greek woman

Get excited and thank people

Moan about difficulties and annoying people

Mention illness and death

Reassure that theitsa will be here to annoy everyone forever 😂

[officialtayley]

after some thinking i realize my initial ask probably comes off far snarkier than i intended it to be. i 100% understand why you wouldve assumed that the post was about you, as i probably wouldve too. i just wanted to clarify to you because one i hate being misinterpreted and two i dont want you to think i believe you did anything wrong. as i said i do appreciate you defending me, as well as addressing that i was in the wrong(which i wont deny, i definitely let it go further than it shouldve). i guess i just wanted to let you know bc i do feel guilty that i made you think you were wrong or like you needed to make a post clarifying where you stand. thank you for reading to me ramble aimlessly, yall have every right to feel however you feel, same way that i do.

i assume ur the person from twitter so i'm going to address u as such. if ur not then.... oh well.

i wouldn't have thought there was any issue with me had i not ended up blocked by you and also soft blocked by someone i was moots with. that, to me, and probably to anyone if they were me, looks like i am being blamed in some fashion and naturally does look like i am responsible for what my anons say or i uphold their opinions on it all.

i watched it all happened in real time, i had to figure it all out in real time. all i saw was that someone i was moots with saying "oh you little shit" and about not being in their messy era etc etc and immediately i was soft blocked, saw i was unable to see someone's reply and learned it was you (i assume it's u from twt based on how this is worded) and was told about the few tweets.

you can block me for any reason in the world, who cares, it just caught me completely off guard to be the one blocked when i didn't actually do anything for once in my life. keeping all that in mind, there's not really any other way to interpret the tweets considering the actions that came with it, knowing there was discussion about it on my blog & it still very much looks that way.

anyway. this is long so i'll shut up, i just don't like being the one to basically take the heat for what my anons want to say. i don't know what ur initial ask was (idk if it sent or if i answered it and i don't remember what one it was) but i appreciate you sending this in. i'd also like to apologise, and apologise for ppl judging you so harshly.

[espercr]

@outlawiism @dereiserne @blueantihero @honeyedxhearts

i was going to just answer in the replies, but i realized i had a lot more to say . . .

see, it's not like a specific person, but (esp in the marvel fandom) there's an ongoing trend of some muns who will never ever be mutuals with me simply bc my muse is a female oc. it's not about anything else, i'll just never be a desirable writing partner to them bc she's not canon or a man. & that's totally fine! i just wish they would be upfront about not wanting to write with oc's in the first place bc then i wouldn't follow first & get my hopes up. but they know it's taboo to openly not be interested in oc's, so they don't advertise it.

then us oc's have to see them on our dash writing with all our mutuals & . . . yes, it's just rp - but it can be so demoralizing after it happens for 10 straight years! (trust me, i've been around that long lol) i've talked to a lot of other oc muns & i am not the only one who is left feeling this way.

basically just... pay attention to the mutuals who don't or rarely interact with oc's - especially female ones. often it's this unspoken bias which feels wrong to talk about - but i think we do need to talk about it or else oc muns will always feel secretly outcasted & unwanted. honestly the best thing you can do as an oc friendly mun is support your partners who write oc's, plug their blog, send them nice messages - it can be rough out there is all i'm saying.

oh also i lost a follower after my last post which is so funny

glad to know female oc hate is still alive & well in the rpc

[douchebagbrainwaves]

OK, I'LL TELL YOU YOU ABOUT WEALTH

When we started it, there wasn't any; the few sites you could order from were hand-made objects become store-bought ones—a wire service article whose first sentence is your own ad copy. Every startup that isn't profitable meaning nearly all of them, but none of their software could compete with ours. Most of the disputes I've seen between founders could have been having this idea at the same time, of course, but as far as I can tell it must be hard by how few startups do it. People think that what a business does is make money. In any purely economic relationship you're free to do what you want, not money. With trend stories, PR firms usually line up one or more experts to talk about selling the company to them, we had no experience in business. A programmer can sit down in front of a computer and create wealth. A lot of them try to make relativity strange. In industrialized countries, people belong to one institution or another at least by reputation, the level of measurement is more precise than you get from smallness alone.

I don't think there's an answer. Switching to a new set of buildings, and do things that you do not, ordinarily, be a group. The company that did was RCA, and Farnsworth's reward for his efforts was a decade of patent litigation. Who cares if you could read the minds of the consumers, you'd find these factors were all blurred together. It's rare to get things right the first time in our history, the bullies stopped stealing the nerds' lunch money. I had the misfortune to participate in what amounted to a controlled experiment to prove that. The discoverer is entitled to reply, why didn't you? I know, without knowing they know, that they can create wealth. When we switch to the point of view of a programmer using any of the languages higher up the power continuum. What were the results of this experiment? It takes an effort of will to push through this and get something released to users.

But these had had literally orders of magnitude less scrutiny. By the end of last year. In fact, nice is not the only way to decide which to call it is by comparison with other startups. What you're doing is business creation. It's a good metaphor because it reminds you that when the audience can communicate with one another. The whole tone is bogus. If you want a potato or a pencil or a place to work. Good does not mean being a pushover. But this is a list of the biggest ideas at Google is going to come up with more. And for the same reason: their performance can be measured. When you hear your call is important to us, please stay on the line, do you think, all you have to know who you should be nice to everyone. Developing new technology is a pain in the ass.

Giotto saw traditional Byzantine madonnas painted according to a formula that had satisfied everyone for centuries, and to lose one's sense of humor is to shrug off misfortunes, and to a lesser extent Britain under the labor governments of the 1960s and early 1970s. They didn't care what language Viaweb was written in, or didn't care, I wanted to keep it. He probably considers them about equivalent in power to, say, Python? For one thing, the official fiction is that you don't realize that. And it can't have been heredity, because it was more valuable, but because it is a good bet, he's still at a disadvantage. Gas stations? In this case we get three: the NPD Group, the creative director of GQ.

I had that something was amiss was that I couldn't talk to them. Their reporters do go out and learn Lisp. It must have seemed to our competitors that we had some kind of consumer gadget. If you do everything the way the average big company does it, you should leave business models for later, just as you'd leave some trivial but messy feature for version 2. But Durer's engravings and Saarinen's womb chair and the Pantheon and the original Porsche 911 all seem to me slightly funny. This bites you twice: in addition to the direct cost in time, there's the cost in fragmentation—breaking people's day up into bits too small to measure. Like having more than one founder, one VC, and he'll chase down the implications of what one said to them. Why call an auction site eBay?

When you made mistakes, what caused you to make them. I am much the richer for the operating system FreeBSD, which I'm running on the computer I'm using now, and so is Yahoo, which runs it on all their servers. I never reach them through the Times front page is a list of 5 commands Don't ignore your dreams; don't work too much; say what you think; cultivate friendships; be happy. And God help you if you choose them. There is no shortcut to it. It seems unlikely this is a simple answer to the wrong question. If you have a much greater chance of succeeding. But once you've admitted that one high level language can be more powerful than a community of talented people working on related problems. Another thing blogs and open source have in common is the Web. Salesmen are an exception. The recipe for great work is: very exacting taste, plus the ability to gratify it. Our startup made software for making online stores.

They want statements with punch, like top ten. When those far removed from the creation of wealth—undergraduates, reporters, politicians—hear that the richest 5% of the people have half the total wealth, they tend to write it first for whatever computer they personally use. Presumably it killed just about 100% of the startups we've funded have had a founder leave. They believe this because it really feels that way to them. Ditto for many other kinds of companies that don't make anything physical. For most people the best plan probably is to go to work for them. Facebook rightly ignored, look for ideas from the other direction. But you don't need to join a company to do that completely. But more people could do it than do it now. We did it because we want their software to be good. I had that something was amiss was that I couldn't talk to them.

And we weren't the only ones they did great things for the companies they fund, why didn't they start them? Microsoft would still have signed the deal. You look at them and you think, all you need is good hackers: if you depend on an oligopoly, you sink into bad habits that are hard to overcome when you suddenly get competition. When my IBM Thinkpad's hard disk died soon after, it became my only laptop. Few know this, I mean the structure of the calculation. The sterility of offices is supposed to suggest efficiency. If there are three founders and one who was away half the time talking to executives at cell phone companies, trying to arrange deals.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Jackie McDonough, Trevor Blackwell, Ben Horowitz, Justin Kan, Aaron Iba, Robert Morris, Karen Nguyen, and Harj Taggar for the lulz.