#I just laugh at all her silly notions
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bethanydelleman · 2 years ago
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Would you do a poll on worst Jane Austen heroine? I know most people hate Emma, but for me Marriane is the worst Austen heroine. EVERYONE indulged her till the end, and I do not see her temperament improving in the end. It's just that she ultimately fell in love with a rich guy, so going forward no one would provide any resistance to her ideologies and vanities and indulgences. I wish Elinor and Edward would transfer to some other clergy. Eh, but I digress.
So no, I will not make or reblog that poll. Mostly because I find it boring. I know the answer. The least liked heroines are Emma Woodhouse, Fanny Price, and Marianne Dashwood. People also dislike Catherine Morland for being "stupid" though her book is read less so she'll be in the middle. The most admired heroines are Elizabeth Bennet, Anne Elliot, Jane Bennet, and Elinor Dashwood.
But also, this here is a Emma, Marianne, Catherine, and Fanny defense blog. And, more importantly, Elinor loves Marianne. The reconciliation between the two sisters is a beautiful part of Sense & Sensibility! They love living beside each other. And Marianne is going to keep maturing, she's only seventeen when we have her last quoted speech.
Also, this sounds like a much more mature and less selfish Marianne, "Marianne found her own happiness in forming his." The ending of Sense & Sensibility is beautiful in that the sisters find their love of each other:
Between Barton and Delaford, there was that constant communication which strong family affection would naturally dictate; and among the merits and the happiness of Elinor and Marianne, let it not be ranked as the least considerable, that though sisters, and living almost within sight of each other, they could live without disagreement between themselves, or producing coolness between their husbands.
As for indulging her, Mrs. Jennings makes fun of Marianne's behaviour, Elinor occasionally calls her out on it, and if Mrs. Dashwood doesn't it's because they are very similar people and their father/husband died like 6 months ago. If Marianne is indulged, it's because she is young and pretty harmless. She doesn't usually insult people to their face, she just stays silent if she disagrees with them or dislikes them. And honestly, Elinor is a saint for not punching her brother and/or SIL in their stupid faces.
I also will not make or reblog polls of favourite Austen novel (P&P wins, MP loses, yay...), favourite hero (it's always Darcy), least favouite hero (Edward or Edmund), or least favourite pairing (either E&F because of the first cousin thing or one of the big age gaps, because of age gap). Not only is it completely predictable, it's not even fun to discuss.
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deadrlngers · 2 years ago
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no pairing in the world will ever serve as much cunt as a courier x benny one, i will die with this truth in my heart
#rena.txt#benny is bi btw you can try and tear away from me this notion but i will bring it with me in the grave#like it might be my bias for my moira/benny but like the insanity of it all makes me delirious.#this guy in a fucking checkered suit talking all weird puts a bullet through the couriers head but he's so fail cringe that they survive an#now they are hunting him down. like for me the funny thing with moira is that it's all a matter of obsession. you saw me put benny under#enemy & lover in that template but lord is it all in her head. like she wakes up after a near death experience with half of her memories#lost and pre-incident moira would've tried to get the package back only out of spite but in this case it's simply bc..she is missing a#purpose now. she doesn't remember any family or friend or personal desire beside the fact she was there to deliver a package and she doesnt#even know what's inside. retriving is the only purpose to keep on living now. that and revenge which leads to obsession. but along the way#as she discovers piece after piece of benny. retracing the road that lead him to her..obsession gets more and more intense and suddenly#he's like a lover to her like they just had a silly little lovers quarrel that ended with a bullet. and it's all in her head and ofc ALL on#sided like the only interaction is the canon meeting at the tops that leads to the canon fucking akfjskf (again very silly cringe fail of#benny to even accept fucking the person he thought he killed. i love him) and it's like. the whole road she did with this idea of meeting#him and love (lmao) but he's there now and she can't kill the revengeful part of her obsession and for a second it's all like a dream. THE#dream that lived so long in her head. the ILLUSION. but now it's all so real and the Only end here is his death and she doesn't avoid it.#she embraces it she's HAPPY to kill him to have her revenge but the obsession..the obsession never leaves. now that he dies what's left?#and what about all the lil movies of them (insane) she played in her mind? so she's crying and laughing at the same time now in a mixture o#euphoria for finally taking tf out from the world that piece of shit and pain for the end of her little mind-movie. a fight between#irreality and reality. her illusions and the cold dead body resting next to hers.#i could eviscerate this concept forever just know i love my insane lil gal
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ssahotchnerr · 8 months ago
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omg could you maybe write something about reader going to one of jacks soccer games and all of the moms are jealous of her bc she’s with hotch
not so friendly competition
omg i absolutely can cw; fem!reader, jealous suburban moms, one tries to make a pass at aaron, established relationship, small angst?, pettiness, aaron being adorable <3 wc; 1.3k
from the moment you arrived - a hand clasped in aaron's, jack excitedly sprinting ahead the two of you - you could feel the target on your back.
the warm, refreshing morning suddenly felt quite stuffy. as if strangely enough, there wasn't enough air to go around. the feeling especially solidified when aaron gave you a sweet, parting kiss - him off to uphold his coaching duties, you off to find a spot on the grass to set up your chair.
you half expected it, the feeling out of place and self consciousness; this was jack's second season playing soccer, aaron's second season coaching, and most of the players had returned from last year. long story short, and entering a relationship with aaron only a few weeks after jack's season had concluded, you were the new face.
not only that, you were missing a common trait amongst the others. you weren't, by definition, jack's mom.
it was a silly, technical notion, and it was quite possible you weren't the only outlier, but you simply wanted to belong there just as much as the others. to feel as if you belonged.
and that's definitely not how you currently felt.
despite your perception - hoping you had falsely and quickly misjudged the atmosphere - you offered the moms a smile and a hello as you got settled. you got maybe one, two responses in return, before they resumed their ongoing conversation without you. any hopefulness that remained, deflated as you sat there silently.
and while you weren't exactly listening to them, you could still make out bits and pieces of their conversation. however, your ears fully perked up at the mention of aaron. which also brought you into the discussion.
"you're with the coach?"
her question wasn't based on genuine interest, a getting-to-know-type basis, a friendly conversation starter. but, it was rather accusatory, as if you'd done something detrimentally wrong.
you nodded, your eyebrows furrowing briefly in confusion. "yes?"
"like... with him?"
oh.
the standoffish environment wasn't due to you being unwelcome, or, at least not in the way you had previously anticipated. it was jealousy, plain jealousy. they must've spent all of last season ogling aaron, and here you were, getting in the way.
again, you nodded in confirmation. a few grimaces were produced amongst several faces, igniting something deep within you, suddenly feeling very protective of aaron and your relationship.
you casually shot back, relentlessly, "why, is that a problem?"
the mom shrugged, pulling her eyes from yours annoyingly, as if you'd done her an injustice.
she didn't stop there though, uttering something under her breath. while you didn't hear what it was exactly - the low tone definitely indicated she had just insulted you in one way or another.
and choosing to remain on the civil side, you held your tongue.
the whispers continued sparingly; as much as it stung, and as much as the red-hot feeling that had settled in your body was uncomfortable, why should you let it affect you? they weren't a threat, they were suburban moms - probably peaked in high school, probably relied off their husband's salary, probably thought they were better than each and every person they came across.
you could be annoyed, but you weren't worried. the bigger picture, you had what they wanted; you had aaron. you've already won, despite any fights they attempted to pick.
"i need to stretch my legs." the same woman abruptly said, loudly to gain your interest.
she promptly rose, walking towards the team's bench. or more specifically, right up to aaron.
she was quick to strike up a conversation with him - overdramatizing her already-shrill laugh, displaying open body language, the sweetest smile she could muster up.
what did you in, a 'friendly' touch to his arm before she retreated, whenever she finished saying whatever the hell was so important she had felt the need to interrupt his coaching for.
and throughout such, aaron appeared as his typical friendly self as he engaged with her, as expected. although a look of confusion did flash across his face when she graced his arm.
your jaw clenched in anger, but you kept reminding yourself: her actions were just to spite you, just to piss you off, and you refused to give her the reaction she seemingly so desperately craved.
so when she returned, with an awfully smug look plastered on her face and dropping into her chair with a sense of pure satisfaction, you kept your focus forward. you came to watch jack's game, and that's exactly what you were going to do.
but during the mid-game break, once aaron had finished talking with the kids and they sprinted back onto the field to practice some goals, did you approach him.
"hi sweetheart," aaron mumbled into your skin as he kissed your temple, one of his hands comfortably finding your back. "enjoying the game?"
you nodded, offering him a timid smile.
"what's wrong?"
"nothing." you lied, tucking yourself into his chest. you took a deep breath and sighed, smelling the traces of light sweat and grass clinging to him.
"you don't think i buy that, do you?" he asked, a gentle, almost comical tone to his words - all to lighten up your present tension. "what is it?"
you shook your head, "i don't want to talk about it..." your eyes shot over to your new best friends, whose eyes were glued to the two of you. "here."
aaron glanced over at them, profiling immediately. "are they giving you a hard time?"
after a moment's hesitation, an annoyed huff escaped you. "let's just say they're not too happy that the coach is taken."
"what?" aaron laughed breathlessly, his face scrunching the smallest amount in confusion. "half of them are married."
"clearly that doesn't matter, they're still over there undressing you with their eyes." you arched an eyebrow, the scowl on your face only deepening.
"c'mon, you're too pretty to make that face." aaron lightly teased, kissing your pout gently. at the touch, your face did relax, the ends of your lips itching to turn upwards into a smile.
"oh they're gonna hate that you did that."
aaron shrugged, kissing you again. "let them."
you surrendered yourself to your smile, but you still frustratedly crossed your arms in front of your chest. "it's ridiculous."
aaron was quick to untangle your hands, holding onto them and applying a gentle squeeze. "you know you don't have competition. you have me."
"i know. that's why i feel so stupid i'm letting it bother me." you gritted through your teeth. "what did that one woman even say to you?"
"truthfully, i couldn't tell you. i wasn't paying attention." he answered honestly, his eyebrows drawing into a line as he even attempted to mentally recall it.
you couldn't help but laugh, pressing yourself more into him. "you're insufferable."
"i try." aaron joked, but his expression switched tactics, to genuine concern as he moved in front of you, "in all seriousness, are you going to be okay?"
"yeah." you brought your hands to his chest, running your thumbs against his pecs affectionately. you already were. "i have you, don't i?"
"and you could always stay here with me." aaron playfully, but earnestly offered. "and be my beautiful, thoughtful, astounding, beautiful assistant coach."
"you drive a hard bargain," your eyebrows rose, feeling his chuckle underneath your fingers. "but it's okay. i'm not gonna let them think they're running the show, or that they can step on me like that." you shook your head. "and as needed, i might have to flaunt you around."
aaron grinned, proudly. "that's my girl."
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maxlarens · 3 months ago
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Driver!reader and oscar starting the race from p1&p2 and before they put their helmets and stuff they kiss one last time on the grid and people go like "awwwww" because it was somehow filmed
i feel like u sent this in to be like a concept or something but I HAD to write it. i’ve been writing for lando so much lately i’ve very much been missing oscar + driver!reader. plus i’ve not ever written them in an established relationship before!
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It’s not like you and Oscar are a secret.
It might have been easier that way, to keep your relationship from the public’s prying eyes, but it’s not really your style. It’s not Oscar’s either.
Being public comes with its problems— questions from the media, awkward interviews, your respective PR teams going a little buck wild, extra contracts and NDAs to sign— but it also has its benefits.
You like be able to talk about him, like being able to call him your boyfriend. ‘Oscar Piastri, the driver for McLaren? Yeah, that’s my boyfriend’. You like hearing him say things about you, praise your driving skills, talk about you as a rival and as his girlfriend. It’s all you can do to stop grinning like a madwoman whenever you’re in his vicinity. You equally like that the press can’t comment meaningfully on it, can’t speculate wildly about the nature of your relationship when you’ve made it clear.
Some people hate it. They think you’re a silly little girl with her head full of romantic notions. No room for skill, for ruthlessness. Which is funny, given that Oscar receives only praise for “bagging you”. You think they’re just jealous; if not of the fact that Oscar’s dating you and not them, then of your duality. The way you can love Oscar wholeheartedly and also race Oscar wholeheartedly.
They’re not mutually exclusive in your experience.
Naturally, there’s a massive buzz about you and Oscar being P1-P2 on the starting grid.
You’re not particularly surprised. The MCL’s had been performing well all through practice, just as you and Lewis had. You pull out pole in quail, fastest Q1 and Q2, with Oscar hot on your tail. There’s a barrage of bizarre questions in the media pen,
Do you think Oscar’s grid position will impact your performance during the race? Why would it?
Will this affect your relationship with Oscar? No.
What happens if one of you wins and the other doesn’t? The same thing that happens every time anyone wins ever?
You’re confused by it. Bordering on snarky and sarcastic the fifth time someone asks if you and Oscar might break up over this. Rolling your eyes, thinking your true feelings are obvious, you tell some Italian journalist that yeah no we might break up if he doesn’t let me win.
It’s funny, objectively it’s hilarious. You and Oscar laugh over it later that afternoon. Send the clip to a group chat you’re in with a few drivers closer to your age. And so what if it’s still funny when clickbait articles and gossip sites start saying that the two of you have broken up.
There’s even more buzz about it by the morning of the race. Journalists you’ve already talked to have suddenly become convinced that you and Oscar are on the rocks. You can’t help but play into it a bit— partially for the benefit of your PR team— arriving separately, forgoing the couple snap that you usually grace Kym Illman with, giving vague no-comment answers when the media accost you.
Maybe it’s a little childish, a little dramatic. But it serves them right for jumping to conclusions.
You avoid any presenters on the grid walk, sinking into the protective circle made by your engineers. Staying behind the roped off areas until about 10 minutes to race start when you finally hop over the MCL in P2.
Oscar’s drinking water, looking smug when you push through McLaren engineers, so used to your continued presence that they let you in with ease.
“Hey,” you greet, reaching out to smooth the collar of his fireproofs, “How’s it goin’?”
“Mm,” he hums, cutting a glance behind you, which you take to mean that there are cameras trained on the two of you, a reporter trying to get your attention maybe, “I’d be better if I was on pole.”
You hiss mockingly, “Yeah, too bad. You gonna break up with me about it?”
He raises an eyebrow, lashes brushing his cheekbones as he looks down at you, “I didn’t know you read F1 gossip sites?”
You shrug in response, “Don’t need to. The media make enough noise about it.”
He hums again, smile pulling at his mouth while someone from Mercedes shouts at you to get back. Rachel probably. You should go, you really should. But Oscar’s so close and so cute in those black fireproofs.
“Good luck,” you say,
leaning forward to kiss him, hand on the back of his head. A slip of tongue, not so much to be publicly obscene, but enough to leave him wanting,
“You’ll need it.”
You hear the sweet sound of him laughing as you slip away, back to where your car is sitting on pole. Ignoring the reporter dogging at your heels for a comment you don’t really need to give.
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like maybe unrealistic. who cares!
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moonlightspencie · 8 months ago
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darling, i fancy you
Description: James Potter is in his second year of university. He's with his friends, having the time of his life! His only problem... a horrible, evil, beautiful, wonderful girl who doesn't seem to return the feelings he's developing for her. His dramatics and flirtatious antics usually work. He just can't quite figure out how to hook this girl.
Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader
Warnings: drinking, idiots to lovers, reader is described as american in one line because what is fanfiction if not a bit of self-service on occasion
Word Count: 8.2k
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Coming into his second year of university was supposed to be fun. He was no longer jittery or nervous about classes since he’d already been there and done that for a full year. Besides, he was James Potter. Of course he had gotten down the routines like they were nothing to him. It was easy as pie. Now, as he brimming with confidence, he was looking forward to seeing old friends, and meeting new ones. It seemed bright and exciting: and it was, so far! 
Until his second day.
James walked into his final Thursday afternoon class and sat in a seat near the front. He might enjoy goofing off here and there, but he’d be damned if he was going to do any less than stellar in his classes. The class filled fairly quickly, seats being taken all around him. He barely noticed when a girl sat in the seat next to him as he pulled out a notebook and a pen. Until he turned with a small smile that melted off his face as quickly as it arrived. 
“Great,” he grumbled under his breath. 
She looked in the direction of the utterance curiously, blissfully unaware that one of the last few open seats, and the one she just had to choose, was right next to James Potter. 
“Perfect,” she muttered bitterly, shaking her head. “I suppose you’re going to try to get me to convince my roommate to fall in love with you again, yeah?”
“Not after last time.”
She scoffed a laugh. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because you’re selfish and don’t care about the happiness and general wellbeing of others.”
“Right. As if your happiness should be my number one priority,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re insufferable.”
James turned his head to her abruptly, feeling quite put off that she’d say such a thing. Him, insufferable? He thought it might do her some good to do a bit of self reflection, and had told her as much last year. It didn’t do any good, obviously, considering she was still just as irritating as ever. 
“She’s dating someone anyway. So you’re out of luck,” she said, seeming quite pleased with herself. 
James was annoyed again. “Dating someone? Great. That could’ve been me if you weren’t so horrible, and now I’ve got to wait until they inevitably break up to—”
“She’s dating a girl, so good luck with that plan of yours, Potter.”
James blinked in surprise. He supposed he never exactly saw Lily with a boy before. But… But he liked her so she couldn’t possibly be interested in girls. What a silly notion, he thought. 
“You’re sure?”
She stared at him for a moment. “Uh… yeah. Pretty sure.”
James hummed in thought. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t know until summer,” she shrugged. “She came out to me shortly before she told me she’d been asked out by her current girlfriend.”
“How odd.”
“Excuse me?” she asked, looking at him with a bewildered expression. 
His eyes widened. “No! Not like that. I just… I didn’t realize. I just assumed—”
“Careful how you phrase things, maybe,” she said, looking at him a little suspiciously. 
He nodded quickly. “Right.”
He fell silent for a moment. A few blissful seconds that she basked in. Until he opened his mouth again.
“I just…” he said, then sighed. He thought for a couple seconds. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been able to win someone over before. And this seems pretty bleak for me, doesn’t it?” 
She snorted a laugh, nodding. “Yeah. More than bleak, I’d say.”
James smiled a little, then internally scolded himself. There was no reason to laugh at a joke a girl like her made. How terrible. He was better than that. He straightened in his seat, determined to ignore her now that he really had no use for her with his precious Lily too far out of reach for even him to pull in, all things considered. He pouted for a bit, feeling terribly sorry for himself as the class started. He took his notes, of course, but not without sighing every five minutes or so. 
“Can you cut that out?” 
James looked offended again, glancing at the girl. 
“Cut what out?” he whispered back. 
“The constant sighing. It’s irritating.”
“I’m upset.”
She rolled her eyes, going back to taking notes. He fell silent, but only for a few seconds. 
“You try finding out the girl you’re in love with is gay.”
“For me, that would actually work out.”
James rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Get over it,” she said after a beat. 
He glared at her, then went back to his notes. Again, really only for a few seconds. 
“Wait. Are you gay, too?”
“So what if I am? That’s not really your business, is it?” 
“I— Maybe not. But I’m curious,” James said, looking at her. 
“Stop talking.”
“I just wanna know.”
“You sound like a child,” she sighed, exasperated. “You’re distracting me.”
James gave her one more sour look before turning back to his notes. He was feeling quite annoyed now. Maybe it wasn’t necessarily ‘his business’ what her sexuality was, but he couldn’t help but be curious. Why was that his fault? He couldn’t quite figure it out. He waited until the class ended this time to turn to her again. 
“I don’t mean to intrude—”
“I’m sure you will, though,” she stated. 
James sighed. “You’re so difficult. I’m only curious. I don’t mean anything by it.”
She huffed a breath, then looked at him straight on. He raised his brows in question, hoping she might answer if he tried looking innocent enough. She shook her head. 
“It’s a bit of a rude question, you know?”
“How?” he asked, feeling a little offended. 
“It’s personal.”
“Well I—“ James started to argue, though his voice died. His eye twitched slightly as he thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay. I guess… I guess that makes sense. I just thought it was, like, knowing your hair color or something like that.”
“Personally, it’s something I usually only discuss with my friends. Not with a strange boy who I’ve only spoken to when he decided he liked my roommate.”
“That’s mean.”
“We aren’t friends.”
“It’s still mean,” James said, standing up with his bag. 
She did the same. 
“It’s honest.”
James pouted a little. “I’m only trying to make conversation.”
She looked at him for a moment, and he looked right back, his hand on the strap of his bag. He quirked a brow when she was silent for a second. 
“I’ll see you around,” she said at last, not unkindly, but definitely not in a friendly manner. 
Of course, James had to relay this ridiculous interaction to his roommates when he got back to his flat. He sprawled out on the couch, his hand flipping off the side to touch the floor and his cheek pressed against the cushions. 
“She’s evil. There’s something in her that isn’t right. I’m sure of it.”
Sirius furrowed his brow. He’d been hearing about James’s plights with this woman since last year. It always seemed that his buttons got pushed so easily by her, and Sirius couldn’t help but wonder how on earth James kept getting himself into these situations
He sighed softly, leaning back into the armchair to the left of James, a hand running through his long, dark hair before settling over his face.
 “You’ve been dramatic plenty of times before, Prongs, but this might be a new height you’ve climbed to,” Sirius said, his voice slightly muffled through his hand. 
“Mm. Not quite evil to keep that sort of thing to yourself. I don’t run around campus advertising that I’m queer,” Remus added, walking into the living room with a cup of tea. 
Remus settled on the ground near Sirius’s chair, leaning his back into the arm of it as he stretched his long legs out. He did plan on doing so on the couch, but it seemed that James had beaten him to it with his dramatics. 
“That’s not what I mean,” James groans. “It’s how she acted. I don’t care if she keeps that to herself, but she didn’t have to be so mean to me. It’s like she delights in making me feel stupid.”
Peter laughed from the chair across the way from Sirius’s. “It’s not always hard to do.”
James scowled at the boy, but before he could say something back, Sirius sighed loudly. 
“James. Just back off of the girl.”
James turned to Sirius. “What do you mean?”
“If you ignore her, she’ll ignore you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because she probably finds you just as irritating as you find her,” Remus says pointedly. 
“You guys are supposed to be on my side,” James says.
His friends all exchange a look, then stare back at him. 
Sirius leans forward on his chair to come to eye-level with James. 
“James. You are like a brother to me. I love you dearly. But leave the poor girl alone before she hits you.”
James buried his face in the couch cushion and groaned loudly in protest. Maybe they were right, but he didn’t have to like it. He knew he was being dramatic and probably a bit annoying, but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t met someone who got under his skin so easily in a long time, and he didn’t like it. After a few minutes, he lifted his head, looking at his friends. He didn’t like to upset them, and he was afraid if he kept this up, that he might do just that. 
“You guys want to go get dinner on me?” he offered. 
They smiled, Sirius in particular shaking his head at his friend in amusement. James felt a little better then as he scrambled off the couch. 
James’s first encounter with the girl of his dreams, who he begrudgingly accepted no longer could be, happened a few days later. He walked into a café just off of campus to get a little fuel for his first essay of the semester when he saw a familiar head of red hair. His first instinct, of course, was to rush her with a smile and that classic Potter-charm of his… but then he deflated. 
There she was: the wretched girl who had stolen his dear Lily from him. He looked sour for a moment, then sighed, shrugging it off internally. He supposed that he couldn’t really be mad since he wasn’t also a girl, so Lily wouldn’t like him no matter what. 
But if he was, he was determined he’d be very upset about the whole ordeal. 
He sat down at a table across the small coffee shop, inadvertently staring at Lily and her girlfriend. He had to admit: the girl she was dating was very pretty. And they did seem happy together. But it was still a little bit annoying. He hardly paid attention to someone approaching with his drink until he heard an unfortunately-familiar voice. 
“I would tell you that a picture would last longer, but I don’t think I can condone borderline-stalking my roommate,” the girl said, setting his latte down in front of him. 
He looked up at her in a bit of surprise. She just seemed to pop up everywhere. 
“What are you doing here?” he asked. 
She looked down at her apron, then back at him with a puzzled expression. 
“I— I work here?” she stated, shaking her head a bit. “Thought you may have gathered that from me bringing you your drink and wearing an apron.” 
He deadpanned, unamused. “I just didn’t expect to see you here is all. It’s like you’re everywhere.”
“It’s been like a week and half and we’ve seen each other twice,” she said, huffing a breath at his dramatics. “Anyway. Is there anything else you need, besides maybe a magazine or a blindfold?”
“Why would I need those?” he asked, immediately annoyed. 
She pointedly looked at Lily and her girlfriend, then back at James. He made a face of realization, then chuckled a little despite his better judgment. 
“Oh. No. I’ll stop staring, I’m just…”
She paused waiting for him to finish, but it didn’t seem like he was going to. She nodded slowly after a beat.
“Well… it’s been a pleasure as always.”
James nodded, but then he leaned forward to grab her wrist. “Wait.”
She turned around, giving him a look that told him to let go immediately. 
“Sorry,” he said quickly, dropping her wrist. “Just wanted to ask if you got that western civilization assignment done for tomorrow.” 
“Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Tuesday.”
He raised a brow. “Yeah. It’s a Tuesday-Thursday class.”
She paused, looking a little lost. “What?”
“It’s on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. The assignment is supposed to be done for tomorrow’s class.”
“You’re joking.”
James shook his head. “No. Why would I be?”
“Shit,” she sighed heavily, throwing her head back. “How hard is it to do?”
“Not hard, but it took some time.”
She groaned. “God, I feel so stupid.”
“You’re not stupid. Just forgetful, obviously,” James laughed. 
She did not look amused. “Right. Well… Fuck. Thanks for the heads up, then.”
James looked quite pleased with himself. He actually got a ‘thank you’ out of her. He nodded quickly. 
“What would you do without me?” he smirked.
She glanced at him, looking somehow even more unimpressed. James didn’t like that look. 
“I’d have missed one class. Don’t give yourself too much credit.”
James watched her walk off, feeling annoyed once again. It’s like she couldn’t help but ruin his mood every time they talked. He sipped his latte, and suddenly felt more irritated: this might have been one of the best latte’s he’d ever had, and she just had to work there. Great. 
He kept his eyes on the girl as she walked back behind the counter, getting started on whatever task came next for her. She seemed to be making some kind of drink. He watched her as she flitted around back there easily, taking note of the way she’d occasionally scrunch her nose in a weak attempt to adjust her glasses as her hands were full. He took in every detail of her outfit that he could see from the other side of the counter: a simple black t-shirt and jeans that looked annoyingly good on her. Like it wasn’t enough to be irritating all the time, she had to be pretty, too. How was he supposed to just ignore her completely? He scoffed to himself at Sirius’s stupid advice as he sipped at his drink again.
That same thought snuck into his head as she walked into class the next day, dropping into that same seat right next to him. He took note of her slightly messy hair, and the crewneck sweatshirt that hung on her a little loosely. He looked at her nails as she pulled out her laptop, smiling a little at the baby blue that was painted on them. He liked blue quite a lot. He was in the middle of looking at the minimal makeup on her face, especially the gloss on her lips, when she just had to interrupt him.
“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him as if he’d grown a second head.
“None of your business,” he replied quite defensively.
“You’re staring at me. It feels like my business, Potter.”
He rolled his eyes. Why did she always have to be so difficult? It’s like she had fun making him feel like an idiot.
“I wasn’t staring. I was observing.”
She sighed, softly, shaking her head as she went back about her business, logging into her laptop. He tried really hard to remember what Sirius had told him and just ignore her as well as he could, but it wasn’t exactly his fault that she had a photo of herself and some guy on her computer.
“I thought you were gay?” he said curiously.
She turned her head to him slowly, and if he thought she looked at him like he was stupid before, it was nothing compared to how she looked now.
“What?” 
“I thought you said you were gay,” he clarified, though it made nothing clearer for her. He pointed at her laptop background, “but, there’s a boy with you on your computer.”
“I never said I was gay. I said it wasn’t your business if I was or not.”
“But you must not be if you have a boyfriend.”
“Ugh,” she groaned. “That’s my brother, nosey. And I’m not gay.”
“Thought you said that wasn’t my business?”
“I’m going to slap you.”
“That’s what Sirius said,” James replied, though it was mostly to himself.
She snorted once. “Your friends are telling you you’re gonna get hit by someone?”
“By you,” he corrected.
Now, this piqued her interest. She looked at him curiously.
“Your friends tell you that I am going to slap you? Why?”
“I told them we don’t really get along. Sirius thinks I should just ignore you.”
“You’re doing a shit job of it,” she laughed a little.
He wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn’t help but smile a bit back at her. She had a nice laugh. He thought to himself that maybe he’d like to hear it more. It would certainly be better than the grating sound of her always being annoyed with him.
“Can’t help it if I’m curious.”
“You can help if you’re peering over my shoulder at my personal laptop.”
“I’d hardly call it peering. Plus you have a large screen, it’s easy to see.”
She cracked another small smile against her better judgment, and decided on ignoring him the rest of the class. It didn’t work. At all.
“So…” James started up when the professor decided on padding the rest of the class time with an ‘opportunity’ to get a headstart on the next assignment. “Did you end up finishing that assignment that was due today.”
“Clearly.”
James furrowed his brow. “Huh? How is that clear?”
“I’m a mess. I look like I just rolled out of bed, because I practically did in order to finish the assignment today before the rest of my classes. I haven’t even been in my apartment since like eight this morning.”
James still looked on in a bit of confusion, glancing over at her again, taking in her appearance. Sure, she wasn’t extremely put together, but she still looked pretty. James, ever the one to speak exactly what’s on his mind, decided on telling her that.
“I think you look really pretty today.”
She swallowed once, looking at him in a moment of mild shock. She usually wasn’t one to clam up around anyone, but she certainly was now, and James took notice.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…”
“No. No, it isn’t that. I just…” she trailed off, then shook her head. “Nevermind. Just… work on your assignment. It’s what we’re meant to be doing anyways.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry,” James nodded, feeling a little bad now that he’d apparently made her uncomfortable.
Though, as much as it was a sense of discomfort that she felt at his compliment, there was also much more to it. Not that she would ever tell him that. No, it was much worse than the normal annoyance she felt for the boy when he looked her up and down and gave her that sweet smile. It was terrible and evil and made her face a bit warm. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, his cheek smushed in his hand nearly making her smile being all the more evidence: she was developing a crush on James Potter.
James was in the process of waking up on a cold Saturday morning in early October. Usually he’d be able to pull himself out of bed somewhat easily, only really needing a good shower to get his blood pumping for the day ahead. The ‘process’ part came into play as a rare, true hangover made him feel both dizzy and like a rock stuck in bed. 
He wasn’t a stranger to a late night of drinking with his friends, or a party here and there while he was at school. Even in his highschool days, he would sometimes sneak out from under his parents’ watchful eyes with Sirius to go live it up for a night. But it rarely resulted in an actual hangover. Sometimes a headache, occasionally he’d throw up before bed, but this? This was hell on earth. He was convinced. It certainly didn’t help that he hardly remembered past drink number seven the night prior. He decided on not letting the frat boys fill his cup anymore.
After an hour of laying in bed, he finally decided that it might be time to at least try to join the world of the living. He rolled off of his mattress, shuffling into the bathroom to take a cool shower. He effectively did as much, only having to bend over the toilet bowl to empty his stomach twice! He was quite proud of himself for that, considering he felt nauseous the entirety of the shower. He stumbled back into his room, haphazardly drying off his body and hair before slipping into a sweater, jeans, and a warm coat. He slipped on his boots, grabbed his keys, and walked out the front door. He thought that maybe his favorite cafe would have something to lift his spirits and fill his now-empty stomach. He also thought that maybe a certain girl might be working. That would definitely lift his spirits.
He walked into the cafe around 11am, finding it surprisingly empty for a Saturday afternoon. He had started making a habit of visiting the place probably more often than he needed to. He knew the usual flow at this point.
He frowned when his favorite table was taken, and ended up dropping into a seat near the back by a window after he had ordered. He sat his order number marker on the table, and waited for a familiar face to show. He started to smile when he saw his coffee and a chocolate pastry being set in front of him, but it dropped as he looked up to see a less familiar man. He thanked him anyway, despite the fact that he was quite disappointed. He picked at his pastry, and sipped his drink, letting the carbs and caffeine make him feel a bit like a human being again after such a rough night. He decided to stick around for a while after he finished both, just sitting and thinking. He always liked being alone with his thoughts, but they seemed to flow a little better with the hum of something in the background. A cafe full of people did the trick for the day. After an hour or so of staring out the window, he decided he could use another cup of coffee.
He went to wait to order behind a small line of people, fiddling on his phone until he was finally called up to order next. A smile grew on his face when he saw who was taking orders now.
“Hi!” he said to her cheerily.
“Oh. James. Hi,” she said, a little surprised to see him. “What can I get you?”
“You weren’t here earlier. I got here a little past 11, and some guy brought me my drink.”
“Yeah. I just got in at 12. So… what do you want to drink?”
James ignored her question with another smile. “How long are you working today? Don’t you normally come in earlier?”
“Five hour shift today,” she said with a small sigh. “I just didn’t start early this time.”
“Oh. Well, it’s good you’re here now. I’d have hated to admit that I might have missed you when I saw you in class on Tuesday.”
She fought a smile at that, determined to remain irritated at him.
“Are you going to order? You’re kind of holding up the line.”
“Right!” he exclaimed suddenly, looking up at the menu as if he didn’t get the same thing every time.
“Do you just want your usual?”
James stilled at that. She knew his normal order? He smiled a bit to himself, trying not to seem too delighted at that fact. But he shook his head quickly, even though that’s exactly what he planned on getting.
“What’s your favorite drink?”
“I like the lavender oatmilk latte.”
“Lavender? In coffee?” He made a sour face.
“James,” she said, somewhat shortly as he dawdled. 
“I’ll have one of those, then.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yeah. But if it’s gross, I’m blaming you.”
She smirked a little as she shook her head, typing in the order.
“Alright. It’s in,” she said, nodding to the side for him to get out of the way. 
“But I didn’t pay.”
“It’s on me,” she replied. But, she continued before he could think it was too sweet, “It’ll get you out of the way faster.” 
He nodded, giving her a thanks with a shy smile. He went back to his seat, expecting that same wretched boy to come back out instead of her with his drink. Though it certainly took a long time for him to do so. Just as James was looking over his shoulder to see what was taking so long, he saw that same familiar face coming towards him with a mug of coffee. He smiled up at her as she set down the mug.
“I thought you were on the register.”
“I was.”
“But you just had to come see me, right?”
She scoffed a laugh, rolling her eyes. “Enough out of you. I came to ask about the test on Tuesday.”
“Oh?” he asked, looking down into the coffee she brought. It didn’t look gross, at the very least, but he still wasn’t sure about lavender in his coffee.
“I can’t find my notes from two weeks ago anywhere. Do you think I could borrow yours by any chance?”
“You want to borrow my notes?”
“You can be an idiot sometimes, but you’re not stupid. Unfortunately, you are actually really smart under that…” she gestures vaguely at him. “You know. Your whole vibe.”
“Hey!” he exclaimed, pouting a little.
“It’s a compliment.”
“Still mean. I thought you Americans were supposed to be nice.”
“I think you’re thinking of Canada, but I mean it in a nice way.”
He huffed a small sigh, tilting his head as he looked up at her. She tried not to look at him for too long, sure she’d start grinning for real this time. Why did he have to be so handsome? And so annoying. And ridiculously charming. She merely quirked a brow at his silent tantrum, waiting for him to speak again.
“I guess. You can have my notes, but you have to come get them from me at my apartment.”
“You can’t just email them to me?”
He smiled. “Nope. I take ‘em on paper. You can come get them.”
“It would be easier to take a photo of them.”
“I want my roommates to have to meet the girl who hates me so much anyways. They’ve been dying to properly see you without me having to point you out across campus.”
“You talk about me a lot?” she asks with a little smirk, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Enough,” he smiles at her brightly. “Come on. Just humor me.”
“I don’t have your address,” she argued weakly.
He laughed a bit at that. God, she was adorable when she was being difficult.
“Give me your phone, then.”
“What for?”
“I’m going to put my address in. And my phone number so I don’t always have to try to catch you here or in class when I want to talk to you.”
“Who says I want to talk to you?”
“I think you secretly like me.”
“I think you’re annoying.”
“I think you secretly like me, even though I’m annoying. You’re trying to tell me I’m not a delight to be around?”
She sighed softly, clinging hard onto that small sliver of irritation, even if it didn’t do much good against the boy. She pulled out her phone, unlocking it and handing it over to him. She watched as he typed in all his information, and even took a cheesy little selfie for his contact photo. 
“No, no, no…” she said, trying to take her phone back when he started messaging himself.
He put out his arm with a giddy grin, blocking her from getting the phone back as he continued on his path with the other hand.
“How else was I meant to get your number?” he giggled, hitting send and handing the device back to her. “Just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be the only one with the option to contact me. If you were the only one of us who could text, we’d never get the ball rolling on a proper friendship.”
“Maybe I don’t want to be your friend,” she snorted once, pocketing her phone again. “You’re a nuisance.”
“I’ll see you tonight then, right?” He ignored her poor insult. “To get the notes, I mean.”
She fell quiet for a moment before begrudgingly nodding. “Yeah. I’ll see you then. When will you be home?”
“For you? All day.”
She rolled her eyes again, but she couldn’t help but fight a warmth in her cheeks as she turned to get back to work.
As it turned out, much like she was suspecting, letting James put his number in her phone, and consequently exchanging numbers, was a horrific idea. It seemed that every time she went to check her phone, even if it was the middle of the night, he had something to say. Whether it be an actual message or just a strange meme he found online, he was constantly sending her texts. She was convinced he was testing out a kind of exposure therapy. That maybe, in his head, if he kept bugging her all hours of the day she would learn not to act so annoyed by him. To his merit, he was mostly right. But it helped that she was harboring a secret crush on him to begin with.
James, on the other hand, was getting non-stop reprimands from his friends. Every time he pulled his phone out and started typing, they’d groan in annoyance, knowing exactly who he was trying to talk to.
“Mate, you’ve got to lay off the poor girl,” Remus grumbled softly, his head dropping onto the back of the couch when he clocked James texting her in the middle of a movie night with the boys. 
“I just thought she might think this movie is good. I’m recommending it,” James shrugged a little, still typing away.
“She probably doesn’t care,” Peter said casually.
“Shut up, Pete,” James huffed, setting his phone down. Though he left it up to make sure he’d see exactly when she texted back. “It’s funny. She likes funny stuff.”
“You’ve got it bad, Prongs,” Sirius shook his head as he came back into the living room from his brief excursion to the bathroom. Remus pulled him right back into his lap as he came out, hugging him tightly.
James looked at them, making a disgusted face and groaning. 
“You guys aren’t allowed to talk about me when you’re always clinging onto each other like that.”
“You’re just jealous,” Sirius smirked.
“Maybe I am! I have to watch you two cuddling all the time, all in love. It’s sickening,” James crossed his arms as he looked back at the television. “I shouldn’t have to watch that and hear about how I shouldn’t text a girl I fancy.”
Remus and Sirius shared a look. Remus then set his sights on James with a raised brow.
“So you fancy her now, do you?”
“Shut up.”
“Just saying,” Remus chuckled. “When we started the school year you said she was evil. Now you fancy her.”
“She is evil. She doesn’t like me back,” James sighed dramatically, slumping in his seat. “I don’t get it. Girls loved me in high school. Then all of a sudden we’re at uni, and the first girl I like turns out to be a lesbian and the second one thinks I’m annoying.”
“Poor boy,” Sirius cooed at his dear friend jokingly. “You’ll find one soon. Maybe she just isn’t the one for you.”
“But I want her to be! It isn’t fair. She probably doesn’t like English boys at all. I bet that’s what it is.”
“What?” Remus asked incredulously.
“She’s from the States. I bet she only likes, like… farmers or surfers or something stupid.”
That earned a laugh from his friends, brushing off his dramatics as usual. James merely pouted to himself as he watched the movie until his phone buzzed next to him. He grabbed it like his life depended on it when he saw who the notification was from, smiling like a giddy child as he read the message.
“alright. thanks for the rec, I’ll check it out :)”
He giggled a little to himself. “She sent me a smiley face! You guys think that actually made her smile? I bet it did.”
His friends merely sighed, ignoring him again since he wouldn’t have listened to their response anyways as he typed away.
“Maybe we could watch it together some time! I think my friends would really like you. They didn’t get to know you well enough last time they saw you since it was only a couple of minutes. You should come over!! :)”
He sent the message, but as soon as the excitement calmed down a smidge, he sent another message.
“If you want to, of course. I don’t want to pressure you. But I do want to hang out with you. I think you’ll like me if you decided to stop hating me lol”
“Sorry, that sounded weird”
“I just mean that we could be good friends, I think. You’re funny and cool, and I’m also funny and cool. It’s like we’re made for each other haha!”
“I don’t mean it like that. You know what I mean, yeah?”
“Fuck, mate, you writing a novel over there?” Sirius laughed with wide eyes, looking at the phone in James’s hands.
“I keep fucking up and sending weird stuff,” he groaned. “Trying to do damage control.”
“Not much damage control to do when she already talks to you in person,” Sirius retorts with a smirk.
“Shove off, Pads.”
His phone buzzed again.
“right lol. maybe sometime? do you plan on talking through the whole thing though? you tend to be a motormouth, you know lmao”
He let out a breath of relief, smiling to himself again when he saw that he didn’t screw things too badly.
“I’ll be quiet during all the important parts at least. Promise!”
He waited for a moment, staring at the screen as a little text bubble popped up almost immediately.
“maybe then, yeah. i’ll let you know next time i’m getting too happy with my peace and quiet. or the next time lils and her girlfriend are making out in front of me again”
He laughed softly, ignoring the looks he was getting from the others as he texted the girl. They were all in happy relationships, they certainly were not allowed to judge him for being excited to be speaking to somebody cute.
“Might not be much better with Sirius and Remus here, but misery loves company, right?”
“Those are two of my mates you met when you picked up those notes a while back, btw. In case you forgot their names.”
“They’re dating now.”
He waited patiently, not even paying an ounce of attention to the movie still playing. Besides, if he was going to watch it with her again some time soon, who cares if he missed a bit of it?
“good for them, they’re probably super cute together. but yeah, i’ll text you next time then”
James smiled brightly.
“Great!!! I’m looking forward to it! We can order dinner and everything.”
“But not like a date.”
“Unless you wanted it to be lol. Just kidding. We don’t have to do that.”
“But I’ll still buy dinner so you don’t go hungry.”
He waited again as the speech bottle popped up, and frowned a little when it went away. Then, there was a little heart on the first message he sent about ordering in, which, to him, felt like everything. 
She was surprised with herself when she was all nerves before going to see James and his friends for that promised movie night. Though, she quickly realized that was incredibly silly.
As she got to know James’s friends, she kind of started understanding why he talked so highly of them. She adored them, and thought it was pretty funny that they always seemed a little bit lovingly exasperated with his antics. She couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how she’d start feeling about him, or if that bothersome crush would never fade into a casual friendship.
The answer seemed to come after Sirius and Remus ran off together after dinner, and Peter left to go hang out with his girlfriend. She didn't expect to find herself opening up to the Potter boy so easily about her past, nor for him to become so serious and thoughtful when talking about his own. 
She really didn’t expect for herself to say yes to hanging out with him again. And again. And again.
It’s like he somehow found his way under her skin. She knew he was capable of such a thing from how he was easily able to bug her from their first meeting. It was exasperation at first sight. But the way he charmed his way into her heart was an entirely new kind of annoying. He was all boyish smiles, silly stories, and dramatism… and it was fucking endearing.
But their tipping point came in March. 
Much to her chagrin, they had become close friends. They spent a lot of time together, and not just in the classroom or at work. She’d become friends with his friends, and James had become friends with Lily and Marlene after he finally accepted that Lily really wouldn’t ever like him. Though, realistically, he was pretty much over that the second he realized he had feelings for someone else. That slightly-grumpy, highly caffeinated, lovely, hilarious, complaining, sweet, smart, ridiculously difficult angel of a girl. 
The girl that made him embarrass himself in front of a party full of people.
He stood with Peter and his girlfriend at a table, chatting as they started sipping on freshly made drinks. James was, admittedly, probably a few too many in. But he couldn’t always exercise impeccable self-control, he decided. So, he stood there, staring at the girl from across the room as she danced with Lily’s girlfriend Marlene with a smile on his face.
“You look ridiculous staring at her like that, mate,” Peter said to James, nudging him lightly.
“I don’t know what you mean,” James snorted, pulling his eyes away from her to smirk at his friend. “Besides, I can stare at my girl all I want.”
“Only she isn’t your girl, James,” Peter reminded him.
“I’d like her to be,” James sighed dreamily, turning his head to look at her again. But this time, a frown overtook his face. 
She was now being tapped on the shoulder by some tall, terribly handsome looking guy. James’s stomach lurched a little at the sight. What did this guy think he was doing? 
He looked on for a moment as the two talked, growing more and more frustrated. He knew they weren’t together, but that was still his girl. He knew he had to take immediate action. This couldn’t just slide without consequence. James looked around the room almost frantically, trying to figure it out. How could he get all her attention on him instead of that stupid dude hanging off her shoulder?
Aha!
He pushed his cup into Peter’s hand, ignoring his friend questioning what on earth he was doing. He walked, though it was more of a drunken stumble, to the nearest table, clambering up on top of it. He cleared his throat, looking around as more and more people started looking up at him in confusion. Perfect! An audience.
He called her name over the crowd, looking at her intently until she turned to him with wide eyes, shrugging off the other guy that was still trying to get an arm around her. He smiled brightly, though she looked less than amused, shaking her head a little at him.
“I want everyone in this room, and… and everyone forever, everywhere, to know something. I am so, stupidly, madly…” he stopped as he stumbled a little, his foot slipping off of the table’s edge in front of him. “Shit!”
He crashed to the floor, scraping his hand on something on the table as he tried to stop himself from landing too hard on the ground. He winced, both from the tumble to the ground and the pain in his hand. What the hell was so sharp on that table?
“Ow,” he muttered, not even trying to get up yet, rubbing his head a little as he felt quite dizzy.
“James!”
He squinted up with a small, pained smile as her saccharine voice reached his ears as she came rushing over. He groaned a little when she dropped on her knees in front of him, trying to look at his hand. It was bleeding a little bit.
“You’re so fucking stupid,” she mumbled, but he still noticed the worry in her eyes. It made him feel good.
“I’m drunk.”
“Clearly,” she sighed softly, then stood, reaching for his opposite hand. “Come on. Let’s go get you home.”
“I didn’t finish what I wanted–”
“You need to get to bed. You’re a mess, Jamie.”
He smiled a little more at that little nickname. He loved it when she called him that. He agreed instantly to her at that point. How could he say no?
“Okay. Lead the way, mama.”
“...Don’t call me that.”
“Mm,” he shrugged, letting her help him stand up. He hung off of her, practically using her as a human crutch. “You’re so sweet to me.”
She stayed quiet, trying to bring him out of the room of people either staring or laughing at him. It was a miracle she got him home, but she did after a lengthy battle against the sidewalks and stairs. She sat him on his bed, making him stay put as she went to get disinfectant and a bandage for his hand.
He blinked slowly, looking after her with a dopey smile as she left and returned. She sat in front of him on the bed, taking his hand in hers. He barely whined at all when she cleaned off his hand, muttering something about him being a ‘clumsy, ridiculous cunt’. He thought it was cute how she could take care of him so well while still insulting him for being an absolute idiot. He reasoned that at least he would be her idiot. 
“Sorry, love,” he mumbled when she finished up with his hand. “But you’re awfully good at this stuff. Maybe I got hurt on purpose just so you’d take care of me.”
“No, you didn’t,” she said, practically force-feeding him some water. 
He swallowed. “No, I didn’t. But I could have. I like it like this.”
“You like having your hand all fucked up, and a room full of people laughing at you?”
“I like you sitting with me like this. Giving me alllll your attention,” he giggled. “Besides, you’re really pretty when you’re concentrating. I don’t mind getting hurt if it means you’ll do that silly little thing where your tongue sticks out a bit when you’re focusing.”
“You need to go to sleep,” she said softly, fighting a smile.
“But I didn’t finish what I was gonna say on the table.”
“Too late.”
“I don’t want you to go.”
“Too bad.”
He whined. “Please? That douchebag who was all over you is gonna go right back to it if you go back to the party.”
“I’m not going back to the party. And what do you even mean? What guy?”
“The one who was on you when I got up on the table,” he pouted.
She quirked a brow. “I don’t even know that guy.”
“That’s worse! He’s gonna steal you away!” James exclaimed. “That isn’t fair. I had you first.”
She swallowed once, looking at him curiously. “What?”
“I don’t like boys looking at you or… or touching you or talking to you or anything. You were mine first. They need to back off,” he said, getting increasingly irritated. “I don’t care if you think I’m annoying or you don’t like me. Doesn’t mean some other boy gets to just… take you.”
“Slow down,” she said, grabbing his arm. “First of all, I do like you, if not evidenced by us becoming friends the past several months. Second… some dude I don’t even know isn’t gonna come along and ‘take me’. That doesn’t even make sense. Besides…”
“It does make sense! You’re so beautiful, and funny, and caring, and really mean but in a way that is super hot…”
“I don’t want to date some random frat boy, James.”
“But they want to date you!”
“Who gives a fuck?”
“I do! I love you! They shouldn’t get to butter you up and take you away from me, it isn’t fair,” he groaned, tossing himself back onto the pillows.
As a result, he didn’t see her mouth drop open at the accidental confession, nor the way her eyes widened as she looked at him. 
“You love me?”
“What?”
“You just said you love me.”
James opens his eyes, though he doesn’t look at her. “...no I didn’t.”
“You’re a shit liar, Jamie. I know what I heard.”
He winced a little. “Well… maybe I do. That’s what I was gonna say on the table, anyway.”
“So you’re brave enough to say it in front of a crowd, but you get scared to admit to it one-on-one?” She snorted a laugh.
“It’s easier to not get rejected right away when we’re around other people. Then at least I could figure out your reaction when you were still far away,” he said meekly, finally looking at her.
“You think I’d reject you?”
“Maybe? You kind of hated me when we first met.”
“And now? Who do I spend every waking moment with, dummy?”
“...me?”
She merely raised her brows, opening her hands in an ‘obviously, dumbass’ kind of gesture. He smiled at her.
“So…?” he asked vaguely.
“So… you love me, huh?”
He merely nodded, looking a little sheepish and still pretty drunk. She was thanking her lucky stars that she was still extremely tipsy as well, or else she probably would’ve passed out from nerves.
“What if I said… like, me too?”
His eyes widened. “You too?”
“Yeah.”
“You love me too? Like, also?”
“Yes, like, also,” she laughed. “I’ve honestly had a crush on you since the second day of classes this year.”
“Really?” He smiled brightly. “Ugh, you’re horrible!”
“What?” she scoffed a laugh.
“You are evil! I’ve been saying it since day one. This whole time I thought I was an idiot for liking you so much, and you had a crush on me?”
“To be fair, I really didn’t want to. You were pretty insufferable,” she chuckled, brushing some of his messy hair out of his face.
“Then what changed for me?”
“Nothing. I just started thinking all of your irritating traits were becoming irritatingly adorable.”
“You think I’m adorable?” He giggled to himself.
“Don’t push your luck, Potter.”
“Don’t call me that. I like it better when you call me Jamie.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Makes me all soft and mushy inside.”
“You’re such a sap,” she sighed softly, leaning down over him to kiss his cheek.
He felt his cheeks heat up quickly at the sweet gesture, and even more when she didn’t pull her face away from his. He looked up at her with a soft smile. How could he not have fallen head over heels?
He leaned up slightly, glancing down at her lips before closing his eyes to let her make the first official move. He hoped she’d make that move. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and sparks all over his body when he felt her lips meet his for the first time. He smiled into the kiss, unable to stop himself from it.
He kissed her back, though it was admittedly sloppy with the both of them still fairly inebriated, James being even more so. But to him at the very least, it was perfect.
Against his preference, she pulled away. He pouted, as he usually did when he didn’t get as much attention from her as he’d like.
“You have to promise me something,” she said quietly.
His ears perked up. “Anything.”
“We won’t become annoying like Lily and Marls or Sirius and Remus.”
He grinned. “Does that mean you want to date me?”
“God, you’re dense,” she muttered against his lips, kissing him again with no intention of ever stopping.
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munsonson · 5 months ago
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Blurb
Sunshine!Reader x Eddie Angst
She finds him eventually, leaned up against his locker with something crinkled in his hands. His hair, unkempt as it always was, drowned him in its essence, hiding his face from her. She smiles, running up to him with her familiar smile.
“Hey, Eds,” she greets, “did you want to go to that milkshake place after all?”
He doesn’t answer. In fact, he doesn’t move at all. Her eyebrows knit together in concern. She hesitantly brings up a hand to tap him on the shoulder.
“Eds? Hey, you okay?” she asks.
He looks up at her at last. He’s smiling, too, but there’s something strange about it. It was like he was forcing it. Those dimples that she always admired weren’t there. His eyes were still brown, but they didn’t crinkle at the ends. He crumples the paper in his hands even more.
“Can I ask you something, Y/N?”
It startles her when he uses her actual name instead of ‘princess’. She decides not to question it.
“Yeah?”
“Why are you trying to hard to be my friend?”
She was confused. “Huh?”
“Why are you trying so hard to be my friend?”
She was sure he was upset now, if his tone was any indication. He couldn’t possible be angry with her, could he? Did she do something wrong? Did Jonathan tip him off that she was going to ask him out tonight? Maybe she was overstepping her boundaries.
“Um, well I…I don’t really understand the question. I thought we were friends,” she says at last. That wasn’t the answer he was looking for. Now he was balling up the paper and he actually tossed it at her. It hits her forehead unceremoniously before falling to her feet. It was such a silly moment she nearly laughed. But he wasn’t. He was still forcing a smile.
“You know what I think? I think it’s time we put everything out on the table, really…examine what’s been going on here, you know?” he said. “See, I’ve made it pretty alarmingly clear that most people tend to avoid me, to the point I’m essentially Moses parting the goddam sea of jocks, cheerleaders, and even the burnouts. But for some reason…you won’t budge.”
She tilts her head. “Because I’m your friend.”
“No, it’s because I’m your charity case.” Eddie sneers. He’s not smiling anymore. “It all makes sense, I guess. Can’t find any friends outside of the pervy photographer, so you run off to take your chance with the freak, the super senior.”
“Hey,” she says, offended now. “Please don’t talk about Jonathan like that. And I don’t think you’re a freak, Eddie, what are you talking about?”
“Do you not see the people you surround yourself with?” he asks, incredulous. “Jonathan Byers, the alleged murderer turned non murderer who likes to take pictures of naked unaware chicks. And myself, who’s too stupid for graduation and too stupid to realize he’s been wasting his time on someone who wants to wipe the notion of witchy bitch off her back she’ll find two objectively worse guys just to feel better about herself.”
She had tears gathering in her eyes.
“Why are you saying all of this, Eddie? What is wrong with you?” she asks. Her voice cracks.
“Because I’m done with people using me. Alright? So do me a favor, come next year, put me in your rearview mirror. Just leave me alone,” he snaps, brushing by her.
She watches him. Her heart felt sore and heavy, her stomach nauseated and prepared to empty itself from how upset she was. Did Eddie really think she’d only befriended him to make herself look better by comparison? How could he do that? How could he throw what Jonathan did in her face? She’d told him that in confidence, not for him to weaponize it against her.
She fell into the lockers, the echoing slam not enough to deafen the sounds of her cries as she slid down onto the tiled floor. What could she do now? Should she tell Jonathan what happened, ask what she should do next?
She spots the tiny crumpled piece of paper beside her and picks it up. He’d been reading this when she approached.
Unraveling it and trying her best to smooth out the page, she reads it over. Startled, she quickly rereads it again.
It was for the parent or guardian of Eddie, explaining he’d have to repeat this term over again. He wasn’t graduating. That was why he was so upset.
Despite the words and insults he threw at her, she was still tempted to find him again and hug him. This was clearly what had him so depressed, not her. He was just letting his anger out. Even if that wasn’t right, she found it easier to forgive him now.
But she didn’t want to make him more mad. If avoiding her next year made him feel better about the whole ordeal, she’d oblige him.
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elexaria · 10 months ago
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price is a good influence on the boys, always keeping them in line. its almost like theyre his boys, he doesn’t pass up the opportunity to talk about them with a proud growl in his voice. they dont know this, but he even has a tattered photo of the four of them in his wallet. he’s never settled down, never had kids, so even if theyre only around a decade younger than him, they’re like his own.
well, he’s almost always a good influence on the boys.
the new bit around the military campus, she’s a sight for sore eyes. the capt can’t help but clear his throat, one arm around her shoulder so casually. he’s a charmer, that’s for sure. “don’t let ‘em paw at you, yeah? you tell ‘ol pricey if these dogs bark at you, love, and i’ll let ‘em know who holds the reigns here.” he purrs in her ear, the rough timbre of his voice is enough to make anyone’s blood run hot.
the boys know better than to try and cuckhold price, after all, he’s kind enough to let them watch him as he flirts with the lil honey on base. their eyes watch keenly as he squeezes her arse as she passes by, a smug grin on his lips as she turns around with a playful gasp. he’ll turn his head, nodding with a grunt at the boys. “y’see that, lads? like putty in my hands, she is.” he remarks, and the boys guffaw like a group of schoolboys at how cool he is.
it gets even better when, after a year of casual dating, his lil lady agrees to let the boys in behind closed doors. “just let ‘em watch, yeah? poor boys dont get much action, it’s for morale i ‘spose. keeps ‘em fit and fired up.” he murmurs lowly in her ear, quiet enough only for her to hear. their dance is as old as time, his large hands dancing around her soft skin. her moans are like a siren’s call to the boys, it gets the hairs at the nape of their necks standing. hell, that’s not the only thing that stands to attention when price parts the glistening folds of her cunt, chuckling as he steps back to nod his head at the boys. “stunning, ‘ent she?” he growls out, a smug grin on his face as he leans on his side, dipping two fingers inside of her slowly while his thumb toys with her clit.
my god, you can HEAR the boy’s heavy breathing as they watch price toy with his girl, and johnny’s the first one to break the awkwardness by rubbing his erection through his jeans discreetly. price notices, and raises his eyebrows. “lads, the missus doesn’t mind if you rub one out. do you, sweetheart?” he coos as he crooks his fingers up inside of her, jamming the pads of his fingers up into the spongy spot where she likes it. she gasps, nodding as she looks over at how quickly the lads begin to unbuckle their belts, their cocks quickly springing up out of their confines. a symphony of grunts that harmoniously blend together with her gasps and mewls, and all are at the mercy of price. he continues to toy with her, to prolong her pleasure until, and it doesn’t take long, until the boys cum right then and there— thick ropes of cum spurting into their fists.
with a chuckle, price rises to sit on the bed, his hand now gently rubbing against her folds in a teasing manner. “right, bugger off you bunch of reprobates. give us some privacy, yeah?” he chuckles, motioning towards the door as they’re all quick to tuck their spent cocks in the waistbands of their boxers, quickly scampering off at the call of their captain.
the next morning, they’ll all sit round a small table, making comments about how good price is, how lucky they are to have seen that performance. “he deffo would let us shag her if we asked, ye ken.” johnny says quietly, leaning in close to the lads in a conspiratorial manner.
“johnny, stop thinking with your dick.” simon gruffly replies, shaking his head as to dismiss the silly notion.
“yeah, no way would he let us.” gaz agrees, a defeated sigh escaping his lips as he leans back in his seat. “she was fit, though.” he chuckles, rubbing his face as they all begin to impishly laugh at the memory.
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Subtle-tea (Benedict Bridgerton x Reader)
Summary/Prompt: “You’re only semi-lucid and are sort of reaching for my face, and for various reasons I shouldn’t kiss YOUR face but your hand is right here and I still need to convey affection.”  AKA. You and Benedict drink too much of Colin’s special tea and it spurs you to act upon previously hidden feelings. 
AN: Benedict is the bee’s knees, just a silly lil art guy. I got inspired and I’ve got two more Benedict fics coming out rip. But it’s just so difficult to write for Bridgerton cus you can’t write any gay stuff without it being tragic and/or a secret. Oh well, don’t expect me to write much more female reader content of my own volition/not inspired by my friends.
Content warnings: Reader uses she/her, use of Y/N and L/N, is referred to as “wife” 
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Masterlist // AO3 
You had no idea what on Earth was in that tea. But you would have to ask later, because currently you felt as light as a feather and giddy as a giggle, laying on the sofa in the art studio as Benedict was launching himself between two walls, orating about his great desires to create. By far, you were experiencing the greatest emotions on the whim of your artistic associate.
“There’s just so many colours that we are privy to, and we take every single shade for granted!” He declared, his arms wide open to the heavens.
You pointed at him in an accusing manner, “Have you seen purple recently? It’s glorious! No wonder it was the colour of status in the Roman Empire, I too would want it all for myself and my friends.”
“How selfish you are, Miss L/N,” Benedict scolded, “Surely everyone should be given the chance to wear such a colour.”
His anger faded fast. As endearing as it was, it was nothing compared to that grin of his. So naturally you decided to make him smile even more with a ridiculous notion that just jumped into your woozy mind. 
“Do you know what would happen if my mother knew where I was?” You said in a loud whisper. 
Benedict pouted and nodded, riddled with pantomime guilt as he leant over, “You. Me. In a room. Alone.”
“Unchaperoned,” You said then gasped, your hands clapping against your cheeks in shock, “I would be ruined!”
Benedict mimicked your appal by dropping to his knees before you, “We would have to marry to save your reputation!”
“Imagine me, your wife!” You threw your head back as you flashed your bare left hand to him. Somewhere in the back of your mind, an inhibition screamed at you to stop lingering so openly on something your sober self was set on not happening
But your heart grew gleeful as Benedict grasped your hand gently. 
“I shall imagine it!” He declared and lowered his lips, and planted a loud kiss upon your knuckle - right where the engagement and wedding bands would sit. You lowered your chin just in time to see this with your own eyes before Benedict met your gaze again, still beaming with roguish delight, “Oh what a beautiful imagining it is.”
Your legs curled up beneath you on the couch, and you fell over in hysterical giggling. You clasped your hand to your chest and cradled it like a newborn. As you lay sprawled out, Benedict popped into your field of view with his hands either side of your head, tactfully avoiding your hair. 
“Your laugh is like music! As your husband, it would be my purpose to make you sing at least once a day.”
“Then kiss me again, you silly man!” You squealed, offering your hand once more. 
Balancing on one arm, and completely unaware that this compromising position was aiding in your dizzy frenzy, Benedict kissed the same spot then turned the palm against his cheek. He held it there as he said:
“Look, it’s like you were sculpted to hold me.”
Euphoria ran riot across your body, your heart beating so fast you thought you would die from delight. 
“And you were carved to be held by me.” From your vantage point, with newly founded confidence, you tried to pull his lips down to yours, but Benedict resisted. 
“We shall not kiss ‘til we are married.”
Eyes wide, you squeezed the back of his neck to keep him close, “Is this a proposal?”
“I do not think we are in the right state of mind to make rational decisions,” and Benedict bumped his nose to yours, causing a little laughter before continuing: “But marrying you is the sanest idea I’ve had all evening.”
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ramblingoak · 6 months ago
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A Nap With Terzo
~ A special edition of Naps With Copia ~
This was for an Anon that was having a tough time with their finals and wanted a comforting nap with Terzo 💙 (sorry this took forever!)
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Terzo x gn!reader
The naps are all stand alone stories so you do not have to read one before the other! This series came from my post about wanting to nap with Copia all around the abbey. The stories will all have gender neutral readers and soft naps.
Warnings: none, just Terzo being a little silly, sfw, 800 words (thank you to @gothdaddyissues for the dividers!)
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No one else got to see him like this. 
Well, maybe his ghouls did.  Spending months together packed into a tour bus allowed you to see the best and worst of everyone.  You had heard plenty of stories of the things the band and crew would get up to.  To be honest some stories you wished you could forget. Although knowing why Alpha was strongly discouraged from coming back to Albuquerque, New Mexico did give you good blackmail material.  
Moments like this though were something rare to see.  The Siblings were used to Papa Emeritus III and his ways.  They had spent years watching him on stage and at the pulpit.  Both were performances for your Papa.  Both showed a side of him that he had spent years honing to perfection.  The boisterous and carefree Papa that was quick to tease and even quicker to flirt.  But right now, tucked away in your bed and softly snoring…
This was your Papa. 
“I need to get up soon.”
“Hush. You need rest, Terzo.”
“Eh, I’m fine.”  His body betrayed him, his jaw immediately opening in a wide yawn.  When he caught your smirk he huffed, rolling his eyes as he turned the other way.  “Imperator will be looking for me.  So she can nitpick how each ritual went.”
“Don’t worry about her.”  Terzo turned his head, his eyebrow raised in question as he peered at you.  “She has her hands full.”
“Oh?”  You laughed when he quickly spun around, his arms snaking around your waist to bring you in close.  “Do tell, amore.”
“Your brothers promised to keep her attention until the morning.”
“Sounds ominous.”  
He ducked his head, hiding his face in your neck.  Terzo always got shy when his brothers helped him.  Like the notion of a family acting like family was still foreign to him.  You dropped a kiss onto his head and gently started carding your fingers through his hair.  
“Secondo assured me no one would get hurt.”  
“Bene.”  He pressed a few kisses of his own into your skin before pulling away, a soft smile on his face.  “What shall we do with all that time, hmm?”
His attempt at wiggling his eyebrows failed as he started yawning again.  He groaned when he was done, flinging himself onto his back and throwing an arm over his eyes.  
“I think a nap is the only thing you need to focus on right now.”
“But amore, that’s so boring!”  You obliged him when he tugged you close.  “I’d rather be kissing you.”  
“We can kiss after a nap.”
“We can kiss before one too.”  
He leaned in and planted a noisy smooch on your cheek, his lips then traveling down to your chin and over to your ear.  When his teeth gently nibbled at the lobe you squealed and tried to move away but his arms remained tight around you.
“Terzo!  Stop, stop!”  The bastard just laughed, continuing to attack you with his lips and teeth.  “Ah!  Papa, I will call Imperator, I swear to Satan.”
With a huff he pulled away, although he kept his arms tight around you.  When you noticed his pout you couldn’t help but giggle and lean in to kiss him.  The man was infuriatingly irresistible even when he was driving you crazy. 
“Fine, fine.  Ruin my fun.”  The pouting continued, even when you kissed him again.  “Here I am, thinking you would have missed me after all these months.  Missed my touch and my kisses.  I guess I was wrong.”
“Don’t be such a baby!”  You nipped at his full bottom lip this time, pulling it between your teeth to sooth it with your tongue briefly before leaning away.  “Terzo, I promise that if you are very very good and take a nice long nap we can have some fun after.  Okay?”
His face brightened and he snuggled closer, his hands traveling up and down your back possessively.  
“You promise, amore?”
“I promise.”  
His bright smile was beautiful, as was everything else about him.  You had to kiss him again, a soft one that you reserved for quiet moments like this.  He pulled away, still smiling, and reached up to cup your cheek.
“Then we better get started, eh?  The sooner we wake up the sooner we can have some of that fun you’ve promised me.”
You snorted while you settled yourself more comfortably against him.  Resting your head on his shoulder and one hand on his chest.  His heart beat steadily beneath it, a reminder that he was here with you again.  Terzo’s breathing was evening out and you soon heard the soft snores he insisted he never did.  You closed your eyes and focused on falling asleep yourself, wanting to get some rest along with your Papa.
You wanted the fun to start soon too.
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~ Naps With Copia series masterpost ~
If you'd like to be added/removed from the tag list (or if I accidentally left your name off) of this fic or any of my others please leave a comment or send me a dm! Thank you 💙
My Masterlist ~ My Archive of our Own ~ My Ko-Fi Tip Jar
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Note
Hello! Recently I've been reading your works (usually twst, disney and sometimes oc) and im really interested.
I would like to request yandere cinderella x reader please if thats okay!
Im not sure if there is any request rules i should follow since i cant really find any or if its open so sorry if i broke any of them! Btw no need to answer this if you aren't interested or dont have the energy, im just curious in how you would write them since they are very unique and nicely written. Remember please take care of yourself and take rest when you need to!! (since you literally post almost everyday)
I try I do post everday, though I'm surprised anyone noticed 🖤🖤🖤
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Yandere Genderbend Cinderella x Reader
To say you didn’t like you’re step-brother would be an understatement. 
You hated him. 
Him and all that he stood for.
It was disgusting, how wicked Ellwick was to you and your family. Not wicked in the way that he looked down on you; more so in the way that his existence was an obstacle to yours. Currently he made it his mission to insert himself where he never belonged, constantly upending your rightful place. You remembered the time before the single father and son duo shoved their way into your family’s lives. It was peaceful, well as peaceful as life with your family could be. Guns, knifes, drugs, cement shoes–the life that meant serving your family and running the city from behind the scenes. Your mother, your brother, and the many associates that joined your family. 
What can you say? Blood is binding especially when spilt.
Cinder Ellwick and his father came into your home under the silly notion of ‘healthy’ love. As if fighting alongside one another wasn’t love, these men marched into your lives expecting to ‘fix’ your already perfect family. 
Your brother and the many others could spot the foolishness in their morale, unfortunately your mother could not. Which devastated her the moment her new husband got his rightful comeuppance. 
“He shouldn’t have joined the game, if he didn’t know how to play.” 
Your brother scoffed under his breath during your mother’s mournful eulogy. You couldn’t help but agree. Only irritating you more when your mother dressed in black brought the blonde-headed boy to you two saying something along the lines of him being a permanent burden on your family.
“It’s what he would’ve wanted.”
So what? It was his fault for getting involved! His fault for getting kidnapped! His fault for refusing to arm himself, when you warned him! So why did you, your family, have to live with the nuisance?
“I’m going to try my best, to be apart of this family. Properly this time.”
“That’s good to hear, Ellwick.”
Not long after that he took up the role as you’re family’s cleanup crew, eliminating those your family marked. Unpaid debts and traitors were his targets, the scum of your faction–perfect level for Ellwick to begin truly becoming apart of this family. You’d think that’d be enough for him to feel included. But that’s just like him to be so greedy.
“May I come with you on that mission?”
Ellwick asked, still panting from running down the halls from Mother’s office trying to catch up to you and your brother. You both were prepared, dressed to the nines in comparison to him who was in a dirtied leather suit. It'd be a burden and embarrassment for him to come.
Your brother laughed, ” No chance! Look at you covered in cinders again! What’d you do, wrestle your target in a fire pit?”
Ellwick awkwardly smiled as your brother held his stomach. Laughter rising and eyes widening as if he had an epiphany. He points at the blonde, who barely winces at the pressure.
“Kind of like–Cinderwick! Haha!” 
You rolled your eyes as he repeated the name inbetween his belly laughs. Ellwick’s smile was twitching on the otherhand turning his attention to you. Glaring at him you ushered your brother away, barely turning your head to the crushed boy.
“You can’t. We won’t be letting an outsider handle things as private as this.”
Many of your interactions would go like this. Cinderwick inserting himself in your personal business and you putting him in his place, your latest mission was no different. Only that you were older and more responsibility will have fallen to you. You had to step up more than ever.
“Alright my children as we discussed you will be infiltrating the gathering. Your target is the first son of the Mayor. Blackmail, romance him, kiss up, we need a foothold on the city. I can only trust my children.”
“Than why is he here?” 
You shifted your eyes to the blond hitman who was standing barely a foot you and your brother. Your mother sighed.
“We need all hands on deck. Our competitors are in attendance as well. I wouldn’t be surprised if they try anything and I just can’t have my babies be put in danger.”
She held both you and your brother’s cheeks pinching it a little. Leaning into her touch you happily smiled at her over-endearment. Whereas your brother recoiled and wriggled away nursing his cheek.
“Aw geez Ma will you stop.”
“Now my children.” She looked to Ellwick.”All my children. I wish you the best.” 
______________________________________________________________
It was almost commendable, how fast Cinderwick managed to do it. Wooing the son of the mayor and leading him on a wild goose chase that ultimately led to a grand proposal. To which he accepted. 
There was a nervousness about him being the victor; a sudden power handed to someone who wasn’t apart of the family. He was in a position of power, a position that allowed him to string your family along. 
“Congratulations my son! We’re happy you’ve found love in such a place!” 
Sugarcoated words and fake pearly smiles were the next step in the mission. Officially tying the mayor to your family…all with a man who wasn’t apart of the family. 
“Oh thank you step-mother! I can’t wait to have you and the family at our wedding.”
Your mother’s eye twitched at the ‘step’ but she maintained her smile letting Cinderwick cuddle into his fiance’s arm as they continued to chatter. It was revolting that it was he who returned to the estate with a cocky smile and a ring on his finger.
“Well you told all your children to do your best and they tried. So I will take the mantle up…as long as you agree to my terms.”
The following sentence had your mother sending you and your brother out of the room–treatment originally reserved for an outsider like him. Your brother stomped away dropping his emotionless persona, you followed.
“ARGH! How the heck did that slimy cinderblock idiot get ahead of us!? This is ridiculous!”
“...We tried…Arthur don’t do what I think you’re going to do.”
He turned to you the fire in his eyes directed to you.
“Tried?! We should’ve easily bested that bag of soot!” 
Turning back around he made his way to his office slamming his mini fridge open to reveal a plethora of beers and cheap wine bottles. You thought you threw those out. You debated staying as he quickly began to chug the drinks haphazardly dropping the finished cans to the ground. 
“Arthur. Don’t drink anything else.”
“Why!? Why wasn’t it me or you even!?”
“Well for one, typical romance isn’t exactly our field of expertise. I don’t know what you exp–”
You were cutoff by the ceramic smashing near the wall behind your head. Barely missing you it was lucky all you got was a cut from the ricochet glass shatter. It didn’t bother you, it seemed shallow, so you pressed further entering the room more. Closing and locking the door behind you as you closed in on your brother aiming to simply hug him. 
It didn’t stop his drinking bout but it did bring him to a wobbly pause. Letting you slowly walk him away from the desk the alcohol sat. As if he was being taunted once he got barely three steps away he wrenched himself from your grip darting towards the alcohol. In his raw distracted strength he barely pushed you back into the decorative cabinet. 
You would have repeated your attempt if it weren’t for the sudden grip of Ellwick’s leather glove on your wrist. Naturally you pulled yourself away or tried to. Struggling against his bone breaking hold, you ultimately relented as Arthur began to shove off the contents on his desk. Ellwick easily shoved you out of the room, successfully doing so. With that same force he pushes you against the wall, trapping you against it with his narrowed irises and presence alone.
“What are you doing?!”
“Its none of your business.”
“It is every bit my business! Why would you go anywhere near him when he’s in a drunken rage?”
“Because he’s family!” Your voice cracked with emotion, daring to look up at his softened blue eyes. With faux cough, you fixed yourself staring head on to the blonde before slipping past him.
“I don’t expect you to understand that though.”
Speed-walking out of the hall, your only goal was to return to your room hoping to finally relieve the burning sensation in your eyes. Ellwick on the other hand watched you walk away more specifically the cut that had let blood of yours trickle down. 
In a fury like none other Ellwick made his way to the closed door. It was time to end this. 
For good.
_____________________________________________________________
“My son. I want you to know I will always love your mother and I’ll never stop loving her.”
“Right.”
“But I’ve found someone who makes me happy! Someone who will cherish me and you!”
“Okay.”
“The thing is…she has a very different line of work.”
Ellwick wasn’t sold. Even as young as he was there wasn’t an inherent attraction to the mafia-life. When he had the chance to he’d read a torrent of love-stories and twisted family relations all with mafia environments. It usually ended in death, somehow bringing a foreboding cloud over this new developement. 
*Click*
“Whoa whoa little one I get that I’m not a replacement for any–”
“My gun. Take it.”
“E-excuse me?”
Ellwick didn’t really register you before this. Eyes widening as someone as tiny as you easily cocked and flipped the butt of a gun in the direction of his father. Wielding the weapon he’d only seen on those forbidden adult movies with such ease. A silent urgency on your part, you were offering your gun with a custom handle of your favorite color. 
It was an uncharacteristic show of kindness. 
The first he’d seen in a while. 
Since the announcement of your parent’s engagement there was a tension birthed among your closest members and your family. It was a clear sentiment that they dared not express with Ellwick in the room or their boss for that matter.
‘You’re going to be a target. You’re going to die.’
Everyone wanted to say it. Hint at it. But the air was too thick and they were too scared to break the silence. 
But not you.
You were the only one to tell it to him straight. Other than Ellwick himself. Of course the old geezer didn’t listen, avidly refusing to take your weapon and then attempting to get the weapon back from you.  
It made you his favorite.
To think underneath such a cold exterior there was something soft–small but soft. Its what Ellwick told himself when you’d glare and insult him. He’s never found himself doing the same for your mother and brother. Only finding it in him to imagine their tortuous ends at his hands, he could never do that with you. Even when he began to do his work, he’d be all the more motivated when imagining two-thirds of his step-family.
Step-family. He didn’t like that title.
He hated associating you with that.
He liked you a lot more than that of a step-family.
He could handle the exclusion, the insults, the glares, all of it but he couldn’t have you being in the arms of someone else. So he pulled something he’d thought he buried long ago, charming the mayor’s son. 
Having an influential leader’s heir willing to bend to his every whim and need made him powerful. 
A threat. 
So when your mother came to him practically begging for his forgiveness, Ellwick knew this was his chance to set everything in motion. So when you and your brother angrily departed he was prepared.
“The bit of your faction, handselected at my beck and call.”
“Done. You inform us of the policies and actions of the mayor?”
“Policies and upcoming legislation only. I’m not stalking my in-law.’
“Fine.“
“We meet once a month, I’ll come to you.”
“We can do that. Be willing to let your siblings visit you in-home during ermengenies?”
“Yes…I want (Y/n).”
“Excuse me?”
“I want (Y/n).
“You can’t be serious—”
“I am. I want full ownership of (Y/n) their activities, everything. Otherwise I’ll be inclined to fully inform the mayor and police department of what your true business entails.”
“I can’t possibly give you my child! Who do you think I am?!”
Ellwick made a face. Naturally and quickly pulling a gun out of his suit, earning a horrified reaction from his stepmother who was staring at the barrel. It’s not that Ellwick was unaware of the metal detectors and constant pat downs but when you’re a trained assassin this is light work.
“The same idiot, who thought’d I’d always be cleaning your messes. The same idiot who’s been ostracizing me and still put a gun in my hand.” 
He moved closer but not close enough for his step-mother’s garrote-technique to be effective. He was almost inclined to reveal his companions ‘guarding her door or the poisoned dart in his cuff link. But he decided it wouldn’t be needed…not today at least.
“The same idiot who’s blind to the abusive alcholic she raised. That is more than likely hurting (Y/n) right now.”
“What’re you–”
“That’s what your first-husband was like, right? An alchoholic who ran the mafia with an iron fist.”
“Enough!...Fine. You can take them with you after your honeymoon.”
“Before.”
“Why would you–” 
“Be-fore.”
“....It will be…done.”
When she finished, Ellwick had full intentions to find you. No doubt cooking up a barrage of insults to cutely angrily whisper behind you’re door. But before he could make it to your room, he heard the sound of glass shattering and muffled yelling.
He could only see red. Red as the cut that was bleeding on your skin. 
Seems like his role as the family’s ‘cleanup crew’ would come in handy.
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etheries1015 · 10 months ago
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I've been watching Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" and I've been thinking about a request based on the scene where Naveen makes a dinner for Tiana where he intends to confess to her. I wanted a request like that with Floyd x Yuu and unlike the film, Floyd manages to confess. And maybe there's a little dancing too
I would be very happy if you placed my request, I will wait patiently for it :)
I LOVVEE DISNEY MOVIESSS bro my friend has never watched The Princess and the Frog and I lost my mind. How have you NOT watched only one of the most amazing disney movies to exist?! Insane. BUT YES I like this!
Floyd Confessing his feelings to you
Based off of the princess and the frog scene <3
General warnings: Gender neutral reader
TW: None! Just fluff, and awkwardness!
The night was young, the stars were shining bright overhead smiling down at the eager boy. Floyd wasn't all that familiar with customs about love and affection, but he knew the moment his heart fluttered simply seeing you complete tasks seemingly so mundane making him blush sent him into a frenzy. Love and Floyd? The two in the same sentence sounded completely insane!
But when Floyd says he is in love, he truly commits to the bit.
There he was, leading you by the hand much to your surprise and mild amusement.
"Where are you taking me?" You asked the tall male, who flashed you a charming toothy grin and a giddy chuckle.
"It's a surprise, shrimpy. To celebrate somethingggg.."
You eyed him curiously as you entered the Octavinelle lounge, seeing it so deserted besides strung up lights and plates of food neatly upon the table caused you to gasp in shock, almost tearing up at the sight and near notion that somebody would take their time to prepare such a grandiose display for you.
"It's for you! Do ya like it?" Floyd almost sang, pulling out a rose, "I heard this is the best way to romance someone. Is it working?" You almost burst out laughing, but you just knew he couldn't help but be honest about his intentions, one of the many things that you loved about this merman.
"Nobody has ever done anything like this for me," You replied with affection, gracefully grabbing hold of the rose from his hand and taking a quick smell and observing it. When you looked back up from the flower, you noticed Floyd suddenly had a...rather large bowtie on that you knew for certain was not there before. It almost looked silly, the way it was bigger than his neck and flared out in such a...flamboyant way. You pursed your lips in an attempt to hold back the laughter that threatened to reveal itself, biting your bottom lip and nodding in 'approval'. Floyd noticed this and with a blush upon his embarrassed cheeks, he was quick to remove and throw aside the article of clothing.
"you're right, I knew it was too much," Floyd grumbled, eying a corner of the lounge where the strung up lights did not touch.
"I thought it was a nice touch..." You heard a hushed and disappointed voice from somewhere unknown to you, your eyes searching the room before Floyd grabbed you by the shoulders to avert your attention to the table neatly put together.
"Pretend you didn't see that. Or hear that." Seeing the normally suave and outgoing male so shy and flustered, you couldn't stop the smile on your lips widening at such a rare sight.
"Floyd- the seat- the seat!" Another voice that wasn't so discreet called out, Floyd gasping and running to your side before you had the chance to sit down.
"Let me- uh- here. I mean- have a seat," He pulled the seat out and invited you forward, pushing it in, "I saw this in a movie-"
"don't admit that!" ...said the voice from nowhere to be seen. You pressed your lips together tighter, trying not to howl in laughter. This was all just too cute...you've never seen such a side to him, and his grand gestures of gentlemanly was so out of place for his personality you couldn't help but bite back your giggles of amusement.
"Shut up Azul!" Floyd whisper-yelled back to a dark corner of the lounge. Noticing your skeptical gaze, Floyd ran over to one of the tables to grab a silver platter, bringing it to you and opening the lid with excitement in his eyes in hopes to distract you from the bickering.
"Oh? what's this?" You cooed, tilting your head as he brought over the large platter.
"Ta-Daaaa~" He sang, removing the lid. Upon seeing the dish he had prepared, you gasped and clapped in excitement.
"You made it all by yourself!" You cried out, noticing the plate of pretty (surprisingly) well-prepared food that you recall teaching him how to make some time the months prior. Floyd puffed out his chest in pride and nodded firmly.
"Yeahh! I did a good job, riighht?"
The "empty" corner coughed an obvious "pushy" cough that was seemingly a cue for the hopeless romantic to begin his actual speech and cut the small talk.
"Y/n!- ah-" He interrupted himself, "Sorry that was kinda loud...uhh..." You could see him begin to sweat bullets, his eyes wavering as he looked in panic anywhere but you, shaky hands pressing against the table.
"I'm just gonna say it. Among all the people i've dated-" You raised an eyebrow and nodded awkwardly, folding your hands and waiting to see where he was going with this. Floyds jaw slacked open for a moment of realization.
"wait- no. Jade said I can't bring up dating anyone else. Even those were just play dates when we were kids. And they were all boring" Floyd pausing mid-statement and attempting to bring the conversation back to the point.
"B-but you're not boring! You're amazing! like- uh-"
"Play it cool!" The mysterious voice threw out a word of advice.
"Like one of the guys-"
"Not one of the guys, you idiot!" Azul (it was fairly obvious who the voice belonged to) chastised him.
"Ehh?? Than what do I say?!"
"How you feel, brother." Jade followed.
Floyd must have been focused too much on driving the conversation how he had wanted it to, leaning all of his weight onto one side of the table causing it to tip over, the silver platter and the tall male both falling to the ground with a loud "bang!". You could hear slaps from the corner of the lounge, presumably one or two other people slapping their foreheads in astonished embarrassment for their friend and brothers hopeless attempts.
"uughhh.." Floyd whined like his usual self, "This isn't going how I wanted it to." when you finally couldn't hold it back any longer, you burst out laughing with hands holding your stomach. Floyd sat up in annoyance and looked at you with sadness glinting within his multi-colored eyes, his lips forming a pout.
"I get it, itsa disaster..." You shook your head at his woeful comment, wiping a tear from laughing.
"No," you gently replied, "it's cute." You wiped off a piece of food that stuck to the top of Floyd's head, bending down to his level and kissing his cheek.
"Floyd, I don't need all of this fancy stuff. Just tell me how you feel your way, because I like you for you, and wouldn't want a confession any other way." He sat in silence, blinking once, blinking twice, before also bursting out in laughter. Floyd pulled you down into his arms and hugged you tightly, before spilling out his heart bluntly and honestly as he should have from the beginning.
"I see our work here is done," Jade said to Azul, taking his shoulder and leading them out of the lounge, "They have it under control now, so it seems." Azul scoffed and adjusted his glasses, eying his messy lounge.
"After they are done being lovey and dovey, I will be charging them a cleaning fee...look at that mess...it'll take special services to get that sauce out of the flooring!"
"For now, let's just be happy Floyd will stop bugging us about his crush."
"...I suppose your right, that in itself is payment enough."
So they left you two giggling and now throwing food at each other, in the fun way that is unique to your love.
<3
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ideas-4-stories · 8 months ago
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Cross guild romance prompt:
When S-Hawk and S-Croc are first brought to the Guild or taken in, they both bond with their adult organic counterparts. But they actually really REALLY love Buggy.
He has that energy of Safe For Children, he's actually really really good with kiddos, especially ones with trauma. He really became the kinda person he wanted and needed when he was a lil'un. Buggy really likes kids, honestly, he just doesn't interact with them much, especially lately what with his newfound notoriety. Back in the East, at least, he could go relatively under cover and set up a circus event. Now, he's got his hands tied with options.
Crocodile and Mihawk are both surprised by this but don't particularly care. So what if the clown can make balloon animals and makes the boys actually smile and laugh? He's just a clown. Clowns do that. Whatever.
It only comes to a head when, late one evening, Mihawk goes to check on the boys when he senses a strange disturbance. Buggy beat him there. The swordsman watches from the doorway as Birdie (his own seraphim, name pending, nickname in the meantime) sits on the clown's lap, rubbing tears from his eyes. Angel (Croc's seraphim, name pending, nickname in the meantime) is wrapped up against the clown's chest. The three are in the rocking chair, Buggy holding both of the boys close, comforting them with hands in hair or petting backs. And he's singing softly to them. It's a language Mihawk has never heard before, to his knowledge. Though it DOES remind him of some of the seemingly senseless babble from Shanks when he drank far too much. He stays in the shadows, watching. Observing. Memorizing.
He refuses to acknowledge the warmth in his chest as anything other than mild heartburn.
<>
Crocodile is faced with a similar situation but very much different. It's midday for one. And there are no tears or need for comfort involved for another.
It was a cooler day, and he'd seen hide nor hair from the clown for more than a few hours. Truly, a horrific notion.
He ends up finding Buggy in the kitchen, hair in a messy bun and wearing an apron. The kids are with him as well, in oversized aprons. All three are a mess, laughing, flour and powdered sugar on her faces, aprons, in their hair. It's chaotic. It's loud. It's... happy.
Crocodile just watches for a bit, as the boys bounce and squeal over the dark chocolate and red velvet cake they made, Buggy gently walking them through piping designs. He chuckles when they make a mistake, nudges them with his hip and calls it "avant garde", waves off any concern. He's gentle with them as he guides tiny, deceptively soft little hands in loops and designs, laying out stencils and sifting powdered sugar to make shapes. It's cavity inducing.
Especially when Angel, hair held back with a headband decorated with frogs, looks up at Buggy and asks without hesitation, "Can we take some to Father and Papa, mama Bug?"
Crocodile tenses. His eyes go wide. Has the clown been coaching them, has he been-
Then he catches sight of Buggy blushing, staring wide eyed at Angel. "What did you call me, Angie?"
"Called you mama Bug. Why?"
Buggy kneels down, smiling softly despite the visible confusion. "Why did you call me that, gumdrop?"
Birdie chips in at that point, leaning to peek over his brother's shoulder. "Because you're Mama."
Buggy giggles, tucking a loose curl back. "I meant, where did you silly sweeties learn that?"
Both boys grin brightly. "Books! And that story book you read us all the time, the one with the princes and knights and dragons! Papa is the big dragon, and Father is the king!" They both turn blinding smiles at the clown. "And you're the queen! 'Cause the queen is nice and warm and fun and smart and pretty! And the queen is the princes' mama, so you're mama. Mamas are supposed to be nice and cozy and take care of us. Like you do! So you're mama!"
Buggy sniffles, smiling so fondly, so softly, it makes something in Crocodile thump roughly. He won't put a name to it. He refuses.
When Buggy cups the boys' cheeks, presses a kiss to their foreheads, the logia user turns on his heel and walks away.
<><>
Just. The seraphims up and deciding that the cross guild leaders are the parents and playing accidentally-on-purpose matchmakers. Mihawk and Crocodile angrily falling for the Clown because the introduction of children has opened a new face for him, a new perspective to view and they're so pissed about it. They don't even want to beat him up anymore. They lay awake at night thinking about him. They're so mad. They're feral.
The kids are just like "wow, our dads are dumb. We should help!"
Cue a series of absolutely wild shenanigans, and Buggy is just. So confused. Then so done. So tired. He needs a nap. Maybe an energy drink. Maybe both at once.
S-Hawk and S-Croco makes sense to bond with their adult counterparts or come to a mutual tolerance of each other. The seraphim children really REALLY love Buggy because he has that SAFE energy for kids. I like that headcanon that he’s really good with kiddos, indeed he became the person for children that he wanted when he was little bug.
Buggy must be scared of interacting with kids after becoming one of the Emperor of the Sea. Yeah, Buggy could be a ringmaster and other performers in a circus back in the East Blue.
Headcanon: Buggy can make the greatest balloon animals because why not?
Mihawk going to check on the boys and find Buggy beat him to it, the clown hugging them both and calming them both. Birdie and Angel (holy stars what cute nicknames, let me guess all three have to come to a decision on what S-Croco and S-Hawk’s names will truly be and the seraphims must agree on them) Then Buggy starts singing to them! Mihawk’s heart!
Love One Piece having different languages than the common one… Maybe the language that the clown is singing in the Wado’s original language! Or maybe Roger or another Roger Pirate could speak another language and that’s what Buggy is singing in? IDK
Crocodile facing a similar situation, but it’s happier and more fun because the kids and Buggy are making treats (When you wrote that Crocodile having seen Buggy more than a couple times and to Crocodile it was a horrifying notion… does that mean Crocodile was looking for Buggy!!!) That mafia boss finding Buggy in the kitchen with the children. Awwwwwwwwww
It’s chaotic fun for Buggy and the seraphims, and they are making dark chocolate and red velvet cake! That’s so fucking cute! Squealing and wanting to kick my feet in the air of how cute the imagines I see are!!! Buggy walking them through piping the best he can, telling them that their mistakes don’t matter, and the cake still looks amazing. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
How Angel (love the headband decorated with frogs, you know that was once Buggy’s headbands or Buggy bought it for him) shocks both adults because he calls Crocodile - Father, Mihawk - Papa, and Buggy - Mama Bug! (I don't think it's only because Angel called Buggy - Mama) So, does Birdie call Mihawk - Father and Crocodile - Papa?
Crocodile thinking Buggy taught him to do that, but Buggy is as confused Crocodile is (Calling the Seraphim Gumdrop, that’s a cute nickname) Birdie agreeing with his brother about calling Buggy - Mama Bug and they learned it from books. (I read like Birdie was the one saying it, so Papa Crocodile is the big dragon, Father Mihawk being the king and Mama Buggy as the queen)
Buggy being emotional about this is so him. Crocodile’s heart thumping against his chest while Buggy is pressing a kiss on their foreheads. Going back to making the cake with Angel and Birdie as Crocodile leaves the kitchen, probably going to where Mihawk is.
Love that the seraphims are accidentally-on-purpose matchmakers and deciding the cross leaders are their parents. Love how Mihawk and Crocodile are anger that they are falling for the clown. Love that those two are lying awake and thinking about Buggy.
The kids thinking their dada are dumb and think everything will be well if they help. In the end everything was fine… but in the middle? Holy stars what did those two do? Yeah, Buggy will be needing bot an energy drink and a nap, so confused and done with what’s happening.
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darkestspring · 4 months ago
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can we please get a continuation of the rhaenyra drabble? like the rest of team black become platonic yanderes for the reader too
daemon had never considered that he'd like any of that hightower cunt's children. he could barely tolerate aegon most days, even after he came to live with them in dragonstone but at least he wasn't a drunken fool anymore. But you. He barely saw you even as a child, you were always toddling after aegon or picking flowers, it was a silly notion.
A dragonrider being as soft as you, it would have made him laugh before but you watched you slowly open up, getting closer with Jace and Rhaenyra, Luke too. He watched you look after your dragon under the guise of visiting Caraxes, you were so... soft.
He wasn't sure when he had become soft. He started leaving gifts for you, things he knew you liked. Small trinkets. Ribbons in the colors you liked, your favorite flowers in dragonstone, even going as far as ordering servants to plant more flowers. All in an effort to see you smile.
"Here." He placed the sapphire necklace into your hands, he knew you favored the color blue. He looked off to the side as you looked up to him. "Just something i found, you like sapphires, right. you can keep it."
You looked up at your uncle with a stunned look in your eyes before a beaming smile covered your lips. "Thank you uncle."
Yeah, anything to keep that happy smile on your lips.
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baela and rhaena had made it a hobby of watching you, mostly baela now. Baela wanted to dislike you at first, you had been married to Aemond, the guy that disrespected her mother's memory and stole her mother's dragon.
but you weren't anything like them, like him. you were... so soft. so ladylike. you didn't wear pink or frills but you picked flowers and smiled so brightly, always so soft and so kind, the world would trample upon you.
It already has, she learned later on, from whispers and from daemon. Aemond had taken your kindness and used it against you, betraying you again and again until all you could do was bare it with tears.
What a fool. She thought as she watched you pick flowers and him a tune, standing at a distance as if she was your personal bodyguard. If it were me, if i was married to you, I'd never do anything but love you. I'd never let you shed tears. What a stupid, stupid man.
You were so precious, always giving everyone flowers and painting, she caught you with paint smudging your cheeks sometimes but you looked happy.
Happiness suited you.
"Oh! Baela!" You looked up and smiled at her, a bundle of flowers in your hands wrapped in a red ribbon. They were white flowers, she didn't recognize them but you quickly trotted towards her, not caring about the dirt covering your dress. "You've come at the perfect time!"
Ah, so you didn't notice her following you.
"Here! I'll give these to you! As a gift!" You seemed so happy to be giving her the flowers. "I hope you like them!"
The flowers reminded her of you. So delicate, so pretty.
Given the chance, she'd gladly dirty her hands with aemond's blood, should you ever desire it.
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grandlinedreams · 1 year ago
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Hello i love your storysssssssss
🥺can u do a luffy and law x fm reader where they are jalouse about a kid who is taking to much of readers attention .
Hiya papaya!! I absolutely can do my best, I hope that I do this justice for you!!
[Heads up!: touch of silliness, afab/fem aligned reader, little kids are cute]
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Luffy ㅡ Jealousy really isn't Luffy's thing, so he just kind of views the entire ordeal with humor. After all, this kid has been following you around all day since you rescued them from a couple of thugs trying to throw their weight around.
"You should stay here," the kid says, and Luffy laughs outright at that.
"Yeah right, as if she would!"
"Why not?" The kid huffs, and Luffy grins.
"Because she's part of my pirate crew!"
The kid is undeterred. "Then I'll become a better pirate than you and ask her to join my crew!" It's a cute notion and obviously the whimsy of a child, and that only makes Luffy laugh harder.
"It's a deal then! Come find me when you get bigger and we'll fight for [Name]!"
Law ㅡ Honestly he's more frustrated than jealous for how this kid is asking you a thousand questions and shows no sign of stopping even as he's trying to guide you back to the task at hand. You're here for a supply run, not a seminar for this kid on anything and everything he can think of.
"Look," he says, "we don't have all day for them to answer your questions."
"Law," you scold, and that frustrates him more because why are you taking the brat's side over his? You do eventually free yourself from the kid's incessant barage, and you glance at Law. "No need to sulk."
"I'm not." He scowls. "That set us back at least an hour."
"We'll be fine," you soothe. "Besides, the kid was cute. Kind of reminded me of you."
Law isn't sure if that's an insult or a compliment.
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beegalactica · 11 months ago
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How I journaled every day in 2023, and you can too in 2024
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I heard someone wants to become "that girl" in 2024...
Well, let me tell you, "that girl" is the type of babe who embodies consistency; consistency in her thoughts, feelings, words and actions. Now one of the ways I have personified this aura of consistency is through frequent inward reflection through journaling.
I know, we've heard it a million times now. And with the new year approaching, it's so easy to set the intention to journal every day and do it well. News flash, my love, you must do much more than just set the intention. Let me tell you how I did it so you can do the same ~
Equipment
Believe me, I've tried it all: countless notebooks, diaries, bullet journals, apps, all of it, but this past year, only one app *stuck* for me, and that is Notion. Whether you prefer to journal with a good old pen and paper, or even if you prefer to make a big Google document, go for it!
The reason I settled on Notion was its table view/ calendar view database features. I liked being able to add properties like what rating out of 5 I would give my day or being able to label whether I was on my period, or any major milestones. I found that these labels made it really fun to look back and laugh at all the crazy things that I came up with, and reminisce over those 5/5 star days when I really felt like that girl. (see example below)
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What the hell do you write about?
"You can write about whatever you feel like!" is the usual response, and while that's great if you're anything like me, you'll need more detail than that. I opted for some classic prompts that I would simply respond to at the end of every day, but if you want to freestyle it, try some shadow work prompts, or even just sum up your day in one sentence, you are more than welcome to.
My prompts were:
1. Three wins of the day: 2. One thing I learned today: 3. One thing I will do tomorrow: 4. Am I worried about anything? 5. Favourite thing of my day: 6. Song of the day: 7. A story from today: 8. An affirmation for my mind to sleep on:
You don't have to write paragraphs upon paragraphs if you don't want to, and some days, it might be hard to even think of three wins, but an it girl can be present and celebrate the endless blessings in life, even when it seems like there are none.
How to be consistent?
Going back to the central theme of this post, consistency, it is important to acknowledge that no matter how pretty you make your journal, or how thought-provoking your prompts are, the most important thing is to actually do it.
Life is fluid, it's never going to be linear. Some days you'll feel amazing, gorgeous and ready to take on anything, but other days you'll just wish you were a flower instead that doesn't have to deal with anything. That's just life. Some days, the last thing on my mind was my silly little journal, but I knew it was something I needed to do for myself, so I took 2 minutes to write a few sentences down, even when I'd rather be doing other things.
How to maintain your consistency:
Set reminders - at the start of the year, I had 2 reminders every day to journal; after the first few months, I cut it down to just one at 9pm, and by the end of the year, I was just doing it because it had become a routine for me.
Reward yourself - at first, you'll just be able to say you journaled for 1 day, then it will be 2 days, then slowly up to 1 week, 1 month, and soon you'll be like me, bragging about how you did it for a whole year! It's an accomplishment! Never lose sight of that.
Be kind to yourself - ultimately, this should be something you do for you and you only, so if you miss a day, it's not the end of the world. Every now and then, I didn't journal for a day - maybe I was too busy, or just exhausted by the time my day was over - so I accepted it and caught up first thing the next day. You make your own rules.
JUST START!!!!!!! - do it! Even if you mess up, start again and again and again! Nothing changes if nothing changes.
What's the point?
You've read this far, and you may be wondering, what's the point of journaling?
Well, I can confidently say that journaling changed my outlook on life immensely. 2023 was the best year I've had so far. Yes, there were setbacks: I lost friends that I thought would have forever, I struggled with my mental and physical health, and I reached points where I thought I was too low to get back up. But recording little bits about my day every day showed me, with actual tangible proof, that I will always get back up. I also had some amazing moments this year: I started a whole new school and era of my life, I made amazing friends, I fell in love with myself again and I found my voice.
Journaling has helped me to see the little positives in everyday life. Even when a situation seemed absolutely awful and I thought that I could never recover from it, I developed the mindset that not only could I recover, but I would absolutely recover. This new mindset helped me to laugh at myself in moments when a previous version of me would've shrivelled up into a ball and disappeared from the outside world.
Looking back over my life these past 365 days has helped me cultivate a new outlook on life, where I don't see setbacks as obstacles or barriers to my success, but as little stories to journal and laugh about when I inevitably overcome them. If that isn't the most it girl attitude to have, then I don't know what else is!
Journaling changed my life, and I hope that it can change yours too! Happy 2024! 🎀
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runninriot · 11 months ago
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written for the @steddieholidaydrabbles
Day 10
prompt: first kiss | rated: T | cw: underage drinking | tags: Robin, Steve & Eddie are friends, confessions, coming out
“What d’you mean you never had your first kiss?”
Oops. Did he say that out loud? Shit. Eddie knew he should’ve gone easy on the rum. But they’ve been running around town all afternoon to buy Christmas presents for the kids and when they finally made their way back to Steve’s, the idea of having some rum-spiked hot cocoa to warm them up from the inside sounded great. And it was - up until now.
Now, he’s being reminded of the fact that alcohol loosens his tongue, makes him say things he usually would keep to himself.
“Uh, yeah? It’s no big deal.” Eddie tries to play it down, tries to ignore the heat spreading uncomfortably in his cheeks.
“No. Hold up. Eddie, are you really telling me you’ve never kissed anyone? Not once?” Steve’s eyes are huge and Eddie searches for mockery in them, finds only honest confusion.
“Well, Steve. Not everyone starts their slutty era as young as you did,” Robin defends him. Maybe because she can sense how embarrassed Eddie feels. Maybe because she knows something about him that Steve doesn’t.
“Yeah yeah, I know. Keep making fun of me but- I can’t believe it, Eddie. You’re 19 and no one has ever been worthy enough for you to kiss them?”
The way he phrases it makes Eddie’s insides twist into a knot, makes his heart flutter at the notion of Steve actually thinking anyone had ever wanted to kiss him.
Because the truth is that no one has.
“What can I say? Maybe I’m just waiting for the right one.” Eddie laughs, makes it sound like a silly joke to hide the fact that in another universe, the right one would be sitting right next to him. Not in this life, though. He’ll never know what Steve’s lips taste like.
“I’d rather not had my first kiss at all than the one I got. Middle school, Jackson Hughes. Planted one right on me, wet and sloppy. Ugh, guess that’s when I knew I don’t like boys.”
Steve shoots her an alarmed look.
“It’s okay, Steve. He knows,” Robin answers his silent question, obviously referring to Eddie knowing about her being a lesbian.
“Oh. G-good. That’s good.”
“Takes one to know one.” Eddie chokes on a laugh.
FUCK!
Did he really just out himself in front of Steve?
As if his earlier confession hadn’t been enough to throw him off, the look on Steve’s face now is even worse. Not like- he doesn’t look disgusted or anything. More like, surprised. His facial expressions going from confused to… soft? So soft in fact, that Eddie suddenly has a hard time breathing.
“Oookay. That was awkward. Moving on. Who wants another?” Eddie quickly jumps up from the sofa, waving his empty cup at the others, not even waiting for their response before he makes his way to the kitchen.
He needs to do something, needs to get away. Splash some cold water into his face to cool down, sober up. Maybe getting another drink isn’t a good idea, after all.
Eddie braces his hands on the edge of the counter, drops his head down and sighs.
Shitshitshit!
Yeah, nope. He should not get another drink. Not if he doesn’t cut out his own tongue first. He already said too much, already confessed too many things for one evening. What comes next? Telling Steve that he’s hopelessly in love with him?
Over my dead body.
No one needs to know that. Especially not Steve. So, yeah. Definitely no more rum for him. He should probably go home and hide under his blanket until the end of days or at least-
“Eddie?”
He turns around quickly, trying his best to steady himself.
“Are you okay?”
Steve’s eyes are warm and his voice is gentle and Eddie just wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole.
“Yeah. Just needed a minute. That was not exactly how I planned on telling you.” Eddie laughs but it sounds strange even to his own ears.
God, you’re pathetic.
The other boy steps closer and Eddie feels like he’s frozen in place. His heart beats like crazy when Steve stops only inches away from him, so close now that Eddie can feel warmth radiating off Steve’s body.
“I’ve been wanting to tell you, too. A-about me.”
Eddie thinks he can feel, hear, and smell the wires in his brain short-circuiting. His mouth drops open, eyes blown wide in disbelief.
What?
“I’m… bi. Apparently.” He shrugs his shoulders and smiles shyly at him.
“Th- that’s. Cool.” Eddie stutters, doesn’t really know what to say when his mind offers nothing he can share.
Steve likes boys? Maybe I have a chance. Maybe he likes me too? Shut up, Munson! He’s so pretty. I want to kiss him so badly...
“And I-“ Steve bites down on his bottom lip as if he’s trying to prevent himself from talking.
“I wanted to tell you for a while that I-“
Eddie knows he’s being delusional but he can’t take it anymore. He needs to know.
“I like you, Steve. A lot. I-“
Steve's whole face lights up and Eddie's head is spinning.
“Can I kiss you?”
He doesn’t know how exactly it happens or who starts it but somehow he finds himself glued to Steve’s lips not even a second later - his hands in Steve’s hair, Steve’s hands wrapped around his middle, their bodies pressed against one another so close that he thinks he can feel Steve’s heartbeat in his own chest.
Eddie must’ve died and gone to heaven because he is kissing Steve and Steve is kissing him back and it’s nothing like anything he’s ever felt or tasted before. A tender brush of lips, a hesitant tongue asking silently for permission, Steve’s hot breath on his face, the sweet little noises they both make… it’s like a dream come true.
And yeah. If waiting 19 years got him this - he'd do it all over again.
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