#I just keep getting stuck on the idea of that common trope of ''What made you like this?'' :/

[sysig]

Roleswap(?) (Patreon)

[xclowniex]

I truly think that the majority of goyim simply do not know what it has been like for jews in the diaspora since Oct 7th.

When the news first broke, I did not know how far hamas had gotten into Israel, my family in Israel was on a trip somewhere in Israel too and I had no clue where they had gone for a holiday. Whilst I knew they did not live anywhere near the Gaza border, I had zero idea where they were when it was happening. I had zero clue if they were alive or dead. I was stuck in limbo watching all the reports.

Then on Monday, I had to go into work like nothing fucking happened, like I didn't just spend the weekend worrying if they were dead or alive.

When I came into work, my manager who had heard the news who knows I have family in Israel asked me what had happened. I was still processing the news myself. All I told her was that there was an attack on Israeli civilians and she said that she hoped my family was safe.

In the coming days I saw all the protests, all the protests BEFORE Israel had even retaliated. I saw the antisemitic protest in Australia where people were chanting "gas the jews" and thinking "oh my fucking God, Australian culture is similar to New Zealand culture, is a similar protest going to happen here?" I spend so long worried that something like that would happen where I lived. I planned what I would do if I got caught near one, picturing all the common places people protest and planning my escape routes. Thankfully nothing on that scale happened. I was lucky.

None of my friends at the time asked me if my family was safe, but they all posted about Palestine. Keep in mind that all bar one knew I have family in Israel as I've spoken about it multiple times.

I watched support keep coming and coming for palestine when Israel hadn't even retaliated yet, and no support for the Israeli lives lost. I pushed my feelings aside, giving people the benefit of the doubt, maybe just maybe they didn't know the extent of Oct 7th that was released at that time.

After Israel retaliated, I ended up unfollowing so many content creators online because they refused to talk Oct 7th and only talked about Palestine. Were my family just chopped fucking liver to them???? Did my anxiety that I felt about their safety just not matter? Did all Israelis dying not matter to them?

I went to my first Halloween party. It was fun and I enjoyed myself for the most part, but on the way there I kept worrying that someone was going to say something antisemitic, that someone was going to bring up the war and dehumanize Israelis, dehumanize my family. I spent the whole evening on edge, worrying that it would happen. As a result, to calm my nerves I ended up getting super fucked up. It did not work and I overdid the alcohol and weed and I just felt terrible. The next day I felt immense guilt. How could I party? How could I dance when those at Nova were killed when they were dancing?

Then the antisemitism started online. I watched antisemitic tropes just start flying around social media. It's what made me start posting about the war and antisemitism online. My blog turned from clown posts, my special interest, to a space where I could get my feelings off my chest.

Then the antisemitism started in real life. Whenever I wore my magen david, I would get called slurs. I had to start avoiding certain parts of town because of it.

I also felt highly isolated at work. I didn't know who I could speak to about what I was going through. My office is made up of mainly leftists. No one really spoke about the war at work, which in a way made it worse. I didn't know who was normal about jews and Israelis and who weren't.

The harassment got so bad that my partner at the time was begging me to stop wearing or at least hide my magen david as he was afraid that I would be physically attacked.

There were times which I hid it, and I still experienced antisemitism because I have a very jewish nose.

I experienced this for MONTHS.

At one point in time, I tried venting to my friends at the time about the antisemitism I was facing. One of them said that they hadn't seen any antisemitism so they didn't know what I was talking about. I called what they said weird, and they started on this whole tirade that I'm only calling them antisemitic because they're arab. I think this was in November. I looked at their blog and found posts denying oct 7th, saying it didn't happen. I took screenshots in case i needed them in the future. Oh the foreshadowing.

About two months ago, a new person was invited to the friend group discord server. This new person made some pro hamas comments and said they were a resistance group. I explained with proof that Hamas has said that they wanted to kill jews. This was the start of a downfall of my friendship with my ex friends.

2 weeks after that, one of my ex friend vents about the war, and in their vent they dehumanized Israelis. I decided to check all my friends social media posts. I found post after post after post with blood libel, oct 7th denial, antisemitic tropes, dehumanization of Israelis and jews, and posts in support of groups which want jews dead, such as the houthi which have "curse to jews" in their slogan. That new person added to the discord server literally sent a few messages explicitly saying that they support the houthi.

I take a few days to process things and decide enough is enough, and that I need to unfriend them all. I email my local synagogue and get accepted to join after being screened by them to verify that I was in fact jewish and not some antisemite wanting to harm the congregation. I end my friendship with my ex friends with an essay of a message stating what they said, why it was antisemitic and that I do not feel comfortable or safe being friends with them anymore.

Two of them reached out to me to try to fix things. One hasn't really done much, she only didn't ask if my family was safe after Oct 7th + never called out any antisemitism the friend group did. However our friendship could not be repaired as her boyfriend was one of the worse perpetrators of antisemitism.

The other one who reached out supported groups who had tied to Hamas. I asked them to no longer support SJP, and they refused with the excuse of "I already avoid so many activist groups because of white supremacy, it's too hard to avoid SJP. I had to bite my tongue. I wanted to scream at them "why the actual fuck are you attracted to so many groups who engage in white supremacy that you need to actively avoid them? How hard is it to avoid one more! Write a fucking list if you need help remembering!" But I didn't say any of that, I just told them that if that's their choice then we can no longer be friends anymore and I blocked them.

Going to synagogue was amazing. I felt so welcomed and have made some new friends. Reconnecting with my jewishness after not going to synagogue for years was good. It was exactly what I needed. However, it was the cause of the end of my relationship with my ex.

He had his parents force his culture on him since he was a child and hated every second of it. When he immigrated here, he assimilated and wanted nothing to do with the culture from the country he was born in. Whilst he was fine with me participating in jewish culture, he didn't want it brought into the relationship at all. He was fine eating jewish food if i cooked it, but he didn't want to learn about jewish culture or do anything regarding it. I wasn't expecting him to convert, all I wanted was for him to learn the basics about jewish culture, maybe surprise me with some recipies from my childhood like I've done with sri lankan recipies from his childhood when he told me that he's craving them, attend jewish markets when they happen. I did not at all expect him to convert or to become immersed in jewish culture, I just wanted him to make an effort to support my jewishness.

We were looking at marriage and children in the next few years and were discussing how to raise them. I wanted them to learn about their jewish culture as children and it would be up to them if they participated in it or not as they got older. He didn't want that at all. He viewed it as them being "indoctrinated" into judaism. I told him that I feel like he just wants to date some white girl who has a default culture of our country and that I could never be that, I would never throw away my jewishness to be that. And he agreed that he did want someone who just had the default culture of our country. So we broke up. To be fair, I had been thinking about breaking up for months due to other issues, but that was the one which made me go "this relationship cannot be fixed, it has to end or I will be unhappy forever".

On its own, it doesn't seem too bad, but after going through so much antisemitism, the one person who is support to support me, who is suppose to love me, couldn't do that as long as I was actively jewish and participating in jewish culture.

And that's not even a complete list of everything I have gone through since Oct 7th. And I can't make this post without mentioning the amazing jews in my phone, who have been there for me since the start. You have made this hellscape bearable.

Like I said, goyim don't know what it has been like for jews since Oct 7th

[dreamgirievii]

Instant Crush 3

Synopsis: Your families arranged for you to marry each other and boost their companies, they just didn't know you were declared enemies since childhood. Now you're living on the same roof and sharing a bed, you still have to keep up appearances for your parents so they won't suspect that you hate each other. But now after months together, you begin to feel desire for him, and you hate the thoughts that are now invading your head.

Words: 1,8k

Content: female reader, enemies to lovers, oblivious to love trope, arranged marriage, 18+.

part 1 here

part 2 here.

You stayed away from the apartment the whole day, the image of what you had done replaying on your mind like a stuck vinyl. Nothing pushed the taste of his lips away. Or the feeling of his hands bruising your hips. How you were the one who did it first. You sit on the bench near the park, stunned at your own actions, how could you have done that after saying you hated his guts? But God, how good it was, to feel his hands and his lips and the warmth of them. You could feel the slight ache from how hard he grabbed your hips.

Some part of you wanted to go back and finish what you started, but the still coherent part couldn't even move, you were embarrassed, feeling pathetic, angry. And all to yourself.

The sky was shining is the brightest and warmest rays, burning your skin in shades of red, but you couldn’t move, the dreadful feeling inside you were so intense, that all you wanted was to scratch a hole on the ground and crawl into it, and spend the rest of your days rotting. The idea of going back to that apartment you shared and facing him was… excruciating. You have sworn you would hate him forever, with all your might. So why did you kiss him like you wanted to feast on his soul?

The buzz on your phone broke your unstoppable thoughts for a while and made you read the message in an unsaved number so you knew very well who it was. “I am waiting for you, at home. We need to talk.” With a sigh you block your phone again and run a hand over your face, the sweat already accumulated from the hot day of summer. You couldn’t keep hiding forever, you have to face him someday… And if you could choose you would only meet him again in maybe 50 years from the amount of embarrassment you were feeling.

The streets were rather empty for a friday, but besides it was the heat keeping the people tucked inside their houses, above their fans and while you walked back towards your apartment you started to dwell again. What if he hates you more? If now it was the final reason and he would send you away and annul the wedding? A part of you wanted it but the growing part of you, the part that needed him desperately was dreading that thought.

It was common knowledge you two never got along, ever since you were small children you would bicker and throw insults, and that never changed as you grew older. And now after this arranged marriage you thought it would only get worse, you wanted to get worse. To hate him as you thought he hated you. But now you weren’t so sure about it. After the kiss, you were starting to come to your senses for the fact that you actually liked him… and that frightened you.

“Where were you? Why did you run away like that?” The first thing he says as you enter the apartment, Satoru was waiting impatiently for you by the front door. Walking back and forth and replaying that kiss in his mind.

You don’t reply to him at first, too overwhelmed by his presence to think of anything.

“I was… Taking a walk.”

“It’s 96 degrees outside, are you trying to get an insolation, or were you just running from me?” Satoru asks in a cocky tone, like he knew exactly why you ran, and that amused him.

You ran a hand over your forehead and wiped some sweat and looked at him with a pleading look, hoping he would drop the subject and continue with life as if nothing happened earlier. But that would be too good to be true because he says next.

“Look, I just want to talk about ‘that’. Why? Because until earlier I thought you wanted me dead. Last night I tried to convince you to let me be in your life and you practically shoved me aside. Now you kiss me?” He walks around, still shirtless for your misfortune… Or fortune, it is a pretty toned body, you thought. But then you quickly shook your head and sighed, trying to think of an answer.

“I wasn’t thinking, okay? I… I just wasn’t thinking…”

“It’s the first thought of being with me that dreadful to you?” Satoru used a sad tone, that at first you thought it’s mocking until you looked at him again.

“Maybe… Yes. We were supposed to hate each other, as until yesterday I thought we did, but after you practically begged me to let you in my life, I don't know anymore.” You paced around the living room, not wanting to look at him as you let the words out. “I made a mistake, okay? I’m sorry I shouldn't have kissed you, I wasn’t thinking.”

Satoru looked at you with gritted teeth, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched you pacing around. “Wasn’t thinking? It felt like a well thought out act, by the way you did it. I don’t know why you hate me so much that the thought of returning my feelings makes you want to rip your own skin but…” What? You stopped mid pacing and looked at him with parted lips and a shocked expression. Did you hear him right? Did he just say ‘Returning my feelings’?. “What?” You ask, in a barely audible voice.

“What, what?” Satoru looks even more confused than you now.

“You said ‘Return your feelings’. You… You like me?” You asked incredulously.

“Did the conversation we had before bed ring any bells?” He scoffs.

You let your mouth hang open as you remembered yesterday's talk when you two were trying to sleep. And then everything made sense. You thought he was just pushing your buttons, you thought he still hates you just as you hated him (in theory).

“Since when?”

He sighed and walked towards you slowly “Ever since the first time I saw you. In that yellow dress with pink dots, your hair in a cute braid, I had to focus myself not to take it in my hands and play with it. I have liked you ever since that day.” He stops in front of you, brushing a strand of your hair beside your ear softly. “You captivated me ever since day one, with your bossy attitude, always telling me to do this and that, fighting me when I refused to do what you told me to.”

“I don’t get it, Satoru. Why did you pretend to hate me all this time? Why didn’t you say anything?” You ask. This can’t be true right? He likes you all this time? Even before your arranged marriage? You couldn’t wrap your mind around that, he had fought you, cursed back at you, and claimed to hate you as much as you did.

“My family has always been interested in your family business, I knew that once they put their hands on your fathers company, it would be over for your family. They’re too greedy, and I've seen what they’ve done to other companies . I couldn’t let this happen to you. And when I overheard one of their conversations, I knew what to do, to push you away so you would hate me, and eventually push your parents away from mine. And that worked until… eight months ago…” He trailed off, playing with your hair as he looked at your shoulder apparently lost in his thoughts.

Your family and Satoru’s were closed, even before you were born, you grew up with him, always in family dinners on his fancy house, until he began to pick on you, making jokes and annoying the hell out of you, so you complained to your father and soon your weren’t around him anymore. The relation between his family and yours grew colder as well, until last year when his father proposed yours for the idea of an arranged marriage to conjoin their companies and improve their sales. And that was exactly what happened. You and Satoru have been married for a few months now, at first this was your worst nightmare . You thought he would keep picking on you and playing his stupid tricks like he used to when you were younger. But that wasn’t what happened, he was respectful of you, of your space and never pushed you like he had done multiple times before. You still thought he disliked you, but were trying to be civil now, until today.

You looked at his eyes, his bright blue eyes that felt like he could see your soul, the same pair of eyes you started to grow mesmerized by. You touched his hand in your hair and dragged it to your cheek. Satoru squeezed your hand in his and leaned even closer to you.

You closed your eyes, his touch warming your heart even more, all you’ve been needing was his touch, even if you denied yourself, but having his skin against yours made you warm on the inside. “You’re so beautiful, brat.” He muttered close to your ear, his warm breath caressing your skin. You opened your eyes again and looked at him, a soft smile creeping in the corner of your lips.

Satoru smiled back at you, his eyes full of affection. He leaned in towards you, cupping both your cheeks and pressed his lips against hers in a soft, tender kiss. Your hand traveled to hold his neck and bring him closer, your chests now pressed together. Satoru hands moved to your waist, relishing the feel of your skin under his fingertips. His lips moved against your slowly, savoring the taste of you. He tilted his head, deepening the kiss, his tongue gently tracing the seam of your lips and seeking entrance. You opened your lips and intertwined your tongue with his, moaning softly at the feeling. His hands roamed around your body, feeling your curves. The kiss grew more heated and passionate with each passing second. You felt like you could die right now, this is heaven, you thought. It wasn’t like the earlier kiss, no. It was so much better, no guilt, no trepidation… It was only affection and desire, and you knew he felt it too, by the way his hands traveled to grab your ass. You couldn’t help smirk as he kissed you. Maybe liking him back wasn’t so bad, maybe loving him was what you were supposed to do ever since that day he saw you in your yellow dress. And God, you wish you realized it sooner.

[logically-asexual]

don’t know if i’ll make sense but Sanders Sides feels like those fanfics with like hundreds of thousands of words and like over 50 chapters that have gone on over years and that you start reading because the summary is really promising and at first the writing is great,, but then the author gets more and more ideas that derail and complicate the story and in doing so i guess they also start feeling more comfortable playing with the characterization, writing the behavior of the characters as whatever they want for their plot ideas that they can insert into this very popular work and losing sight of both the canon personalities of the characters as well as their own original idea for the fanfiction, falling into common reductive tropes with no end in sight.

and you began reading with much excitement because the plot seemed fun and the quality was great but then as you continue it just keeps dragging on and on and the writing starts to gradually lose quality and there’s not a single point where you notice this change but rather you start hesitating a little longer each time before pressing “next chapter” and start losing hope that you’ll get to see what you came here for instead of more ambitious additions to the already complicated story. and either at some point a choice is so egregiously bad that you give up and look for something else or you stay stuck under the impression that you’ve made it this far, and maybe the author will wrap it up in a nice way and maybe the satisfaction will be worth it in the end…

do you know what i mean? i know i’ve been in this situation many times with fanfic but i just realized that sanders sides gives me the same feeling currently.

[st4rsinthenight]

Momohiki Ash (OC) x Yandere!Rise!Donatello Hamato Headcanons !!

★pulled straight from my wat-padd account★

— |✷| REQUESTED & ORIGINAL CHARACTER BY: @ash1kun !!

— |✷| ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC: romantic.-

—|✷| TROPES: yandere x oc, fluff. . . I think.-

— |✷| TRIGGER WARNING: Subtle mention of stalking, trackers, overprotective themes, subtle murder implication (??), manipulation (I think??), hints of isolation (??), themes of violence at some point-

— |✷| CONTENT WARNING: Donatello and the OC may be OCC.. So, I apologise in advance for that, me saying 'maybe' and 'migth' WAYYYY too many times.-

— |✷| NOTES: I might repeat certain words over and over since my dum-dum brain can't think of synonyms. And I refuse to search up the synonyms up on Google. Once again, I'm sorry if both characters are OCC. Also, any form criticism is welcome, along with advices. Please point out if I made any sort of mistake uur, yeah.-

— |☆| Alright, so, with Ash Momohiki being the same species of turtle as Donatello, aka, a softshell one, the first thing that came to my mind is that- erm, Donnie would make them their very own Battle Shell as well. -

—|☆| Of course he filled it up with all of his lover's favourite things, along with notes about their shared interests and stuff. He, as well, made sure it keeps em' safe while they are outside or near danger. Not only via protecting their shell though, but he also made sure that whatever enemy crosses their way, let's just say, urh, won't bother them again. As his creative genius mind had an idea to make an. Ahem. 'Automatic Battle Shell' for them !! Meaning it will activate when a hatred individual or enemy, such as, the Purple Dragons, are near. -

— |☆| Maybe, for extra measures of safety, he might add a som erm, equipment, to his partner's tech-pet, Plut!! Although, he might- well, he will ask for Ash's permission for him to further advance Plut. He might add more weapons to the little..well, massive- tech-dragon than he already has, maybe even a tracker. Or two. Or three. Or four. He will absolutely make sure that he won't damage or malfunction Plutonium in any way, though, he promises !!

— |☆| .. however, he could, with what I assume would be a heavy heart- make a few sneaky adjustments to Plut's personality. Y'know, to make sure that Ash doesn't spend all of their time with their tech-child. He swears it's not that of crucial change, he swears -

— |☆| Maybe his tech will make them admire him, and his genius mindset even more than they already do. He might keep his partner in his lab, disguising the fact that he wants em to stay for longer via giving long, long excited rambles about his tech and interests. Of course, he will let Ash ramble and infodump about everything they like as well. Though, it's not only because he just wants their presence near him, he also likes to see them happy and excitedly spout out about their likings, as well as their own pieces of technology and inventions. Perhaps letting them express themselves through their own ways and preferences might just be one of the few, if not only things that get them show positive emotions. Or maybe, perhaps he could extract anger or jealousy out of them, since they could possibly have things in common that may not be so likeable, or maybe even people.-

— |☆| I can honestly see Donnie expressing his hatred to Ash about the Purple Dragon's tech club and once he finds out that they- as well hate them and that consider them pests, he might just get a boost to plot against them.. or make more plots against the those satin wrapped punks, that is. I doubt that any form of hesitation to cause any sort of trouble, or perhaps even violence to those stuck-up jerks would still linger in his brain honestly, especially if Ash themselves, express violent thoughts towards them. Or just a little bit of disliking towards the Purple Dragons is enough to give them one more reason into hunting 'em down, I suppose.-

— |☆| Another excuse to get 'em to stay might be through, well, playdates.. with S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N and Plutonium that is. Maybe the two will watch over them. Maybe Ash will stay as well, since I doubt that they would strife away from their child-like figure and that, for Donatello, is a win, since they get to spend more time in the safety and comfort of his lab !!- |☆| He will as well make positive little comments about them and their work, maybe give them more praise with each passing day. Praise that might slowly escalate to him trying to convince Ash that he might be the only who sees their actual worth. Although, he'd do it through little hints and stuff and he won't be straight forward with it. Not for now at least.-

— |☆| Oh, he learns about their intrusive thoughts that they get while they are being alone?? Oh no no no. He can't possibly have his own partner be tormented by such dark thoughts. He is going to stay close to them for as long as humanly, or mutant-ly possible. Their situation kind of reminds me of when Raph is alone and he becomes 'Savage Raph', so he might try to help them through ways that he would help his older brother. However, I feel like making mental notes and, erh, documenting about stuff that they could do in order to calm down, may be more suitable for them. -

— |☆| Although, their own tormenting and dark imaginations could be used as a weapon against them. He might use it as a punishment for them if they ever, well, try to leave him. Maybe if they start noticing the little changes in his personality that is. I'm not sure. Sure, guilt might roll in him for leaving his lover in such a state, but hey, he will surely find a way to calm them down soon. So, he shoves the liability of his actions away, and his mind starts swarming around to collect all of the countless stuff and little habits that he has mentally kept about them. So, hopefully or most likely, trying to find what calms them down should be easier now. While seeing them struggle to regulate their own emotions, which is something that he himself understands, he also doesn't want them walking out on him. No, not when he found someone that he deeply relates to and admires to no extent.-

— |☆| ..But he doesn't have to worry about that. Why would they leave if they are basically head over heels for him along with the praise that he gives them? After all, he and his brothers- well, mostly him, have filled their soul with the much needed and wanted hope that they lost. Plus, he could just be the only one present who will show them actual appreciation.

— |☆| Hm? Brothers who? Eh they don't understand much about tech and rarely care for it- despite them most likely giving warm hearted compliments about Ash's equipment- !! He understands them better, they both share the same likes and dislikes- they are both hunting and eating whatever praise is given to them !! So, since they love and understand each other, and since Donatello can keep them safe, is there really any need for them to walk out of his life?

[sam-the-friendly-ghost]

Sam's chats with the void: The "stupid" character

I always find myself disliking a show when it has "the stupid one" trope in it. Take 2012 and Mikey for example. Yes he's funny but he's the joke. The show treats him as stupid to the point where he doesn't get any other character trait. Does he care about anything? No. Because he's just stupid.

I think this trope personally hurts me because I am neurodivergent, and most traits that make a character "the stupid one" are neurodivergent ones. Seeing someone who just needs help with their disability get abandoned by the show because they're only there to be stupid really messes with my feelings. I've had plenty of people call me stupid for things I am still learning to manage despite the signs that I'm definitely not stupid.

Whenever I see this trope show up I give them a personality and feelings in my head. I usually let them be smart, but unable to show it for one reason or another (usually because the other characters are blind to it). This does show that a stupid character isn't necessarily bad, there just has to be a reason for them to be seen that way.

Keyword. Seen, not be. They can't be stupid, just seen as such.

Naruto is a great example of how this trope can work.

Naruto is a goofball who causes trouble. He doesn't pay attention in class, and needs to be told all kinds of common knowledge. He also cannot perform the clone jitsu to become genin. At first glance he's just a stupid character, until Iruka explains his past.

Iruka was exactly like Naruto as a child, but he also knows why. He was lonely and wanted to make friends. He wanted the family he didn't have so he did the only thing he could think to do as a child. His story mirrors and therefore explains Naruto's.

By the time we get the explanation though, we already know Naruto isn't stupid though. He can perform a harder ninjistu called the shadow clone jitsu easily. Later we learn he had a disadvantage because he was welding an overwhelming amount of chakra, and since making shadowclone take so much chakra it was far easier for him to perform. Naruto isn't stupid, he just needed to try something else. He also gets better over time, and learns how to use his strengths and compensate for his weaknesses. He might never perform the clone jitsu, and in that way he could still be called stupid, but he IS so much more than his ability to perform that jitsu. Rock lee can't perform ninjistu or genjitsu but he is amazing at taijitsu and becomes one of the best ninja ever. Almost every single character has a major weakness that could hold them back, and does until they get creative and find their own solution.

This brings me back to Mikey. How can he be more than the stupid one. He is shown to have great intuition and empathy, use it. Maybe he keeps pulling enemies over to the side of good. He is fast and an natural at a lot of stuff including smoke bombs. Make him a scout that keeps sneaking around Shredders bedroom or something. He's creative beyond compare. Let him help his brothers problem solve when they get stuck, even throwing out the wackiest ideas until something sticks. All of these ideas could be funny in their own right, and show Mikey as having strengths. When he struggles with impulse have him slowly learn to manage that. He can want to press a button, but ask Donnie what it does first, or even say "don't let me near that or I will push the buttons."

And the last rule is DO NOT MAKE THE CHARACTERS FEELINGS A JOKE! If you ever see a character say anything that feels like it should be ge focus of at least an episode and instead they get made a joke and that ideas ignored, congrats, you found the stupid one, and the worst part of the trope.

"stupid" characters often say once or twice "it feels like you guys don't like me," or something similar. Unlike characters the show actually cares about though, "stupid" characters will run into something, trip, or anything that makes the line "funny".

"Stop calling me clumsy!" Character cries before tripping down a flight of stairs.

"I'm not stupid!" Character yells. "Your even as dumb as a- a.. uhm. A super computer!"

"It's time for you to see that I'm capable!" They yell as they head out to complete a task. Cut to them pleading for help, or needing a rescue.

Anyways that's my rant about this trope. Please stop using it badly, nobody likes it. At best somebody dislikes the character. Most of the time you hurt the people who relate to them.

Bye!

[ububunes]

Anyways I finished psychedelicha of the black butterfly... Like a week ago? Man I'm slow...

Anyways. Spoilers if... Literally anybody cares about this game. It was truly mid up until the very end but I have to give it some credit for that. Content warning for child death, attempted SA, some baked in misogyny (from the game), and gaslighting (from Karasuba). Now time for:

Basic character info

Beniyuri/MC/Ai

She's the heroine and because of that, she's kind of lacking in personality. Maybe. I'm sorry, at a certain point I started skipping through the side stories... But in the main story she's mostly defined by her willingness to help, her honesty, gullibility, and her fear. She's got some trauma and is fairly stuck in the past.

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Yamato/Takuya

If you went to his TV tropes page, I'm 95% sure he would have something like "Needs a hug". They aren't wrong, honestly. He's got a short temper and is almost always fighting with Karasuba. His favorite sport is soccer and when he was a kid he would "tease" (frankly, semi-bully at times) MC because he had a crush on her. Don't do that in real life. Monshiro's twin brother.

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Karasuba/Aki(to?)

My least favorite! He just keeps finding new ways to try and get MC to himself, and will not stop making very uncomfortable advances before calling them jokes. He is the character who figured out Hikage first though, and by his good ending he decides to work on himself and improve with MC. Still not redeemed but congrats! He would get upset if you followed any other dudes on social media, get anxious if you make even a slightly too long phone call or look at your texts too long. Would also beg for your PIN and get sad if he wasn't your lock screen AND homescreen. No thaaaanks.

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Hikage

Look. This image just goes so hard I HAVE to show it in it's full unaltered glory. He's the evil big bad and tricked the entire cast blah blah yeah he's basic as hell. He's also misogynistic! If I hear him talk about how all women are weak one more time, I frankly might just break down. He's like. So generic anime bad guy that I can't hate them for it, they're just following the assignment.

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Kagiha/Natsuki

This dudes dead! He's been dead since he was like, eight actually. I'm not sure how ethical it truly is to date him but I also am too tired to care. He's another of the least favs anyways. He made a promise to marry MC when they were kids and man is this dude taking it way too far. I have no idea what his plan is if he 'comes back to life' like Hikage promised since he's been presumed dead for ten years... He's also working with Hikage.

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Monshiro/Kazuya

Again I'm frankly not too sure on how ethical it would be to date him. He's been in a coma for ten years, since AROUND age 7. He leans on MC for comfort and has been wandering the mansion for ten years waiting to give MC her ribbon back. I don't know what else to say about him, he's not that fleshed out imo... Yamato's twin brother

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Usagi

Truly the most underdeveloped character. She's Hikage's little sister and the reason he's insane. I would ask her to get him to therapy or to be his therapist but there aren't any therapists here and if he saw her face he would genuinely lose it.

---------------------

The story is honestly pretty much summed up as "repressed memory trauma with otome game action and shooting segments." I'm sure it can be explained better than that but if I'm being honest I'm already starting to forget details. Whoops.

My favorite endings have to be the Yamato true end, the best ending/common route ending (it's literally just called "best end" on the flowchart, I don't know what to tell you), and the secret ending. I find it kind of strange that Hikage and Kagiha (whose names I continually mix up. I'm not very good with names) only have one ending each. I guess you could could the singular bad ending, which is also an honorable mention just for being there and being kind of awful if you accidentally trigger it, as an ending for Hikage since it's (probably) his book, but that sounds lame and doesn't completely check out. I guess you can also count the best ending as Kagiha's true ending but again, seems cheap? But also way better than his default ending where you seemingly lose your mind in the mansion and live in "happy married bliss" with Kagiha.

Probably also a good time to mention that Hikage and Kagiha are both dead.

Basically the whole story goes as follows

The main characters (minus Hikage) go to a summer camp at around ages 6-8. They get warned not to go to the lake because weather changes quickly in the mountains (where the summer camp was, I guess.) They go to the lake, find an abandoned mansion and start exploring, find some glass shards that ARE lore important, just ten years from now. Anyways it starts to rain incredibly hard and the kids desperately try to get to the shore and back to camp. Unfortunately MC and Monshiro both get swept under the water. Kagiha rescues MC first, then Monshiro who is still comatose from the accident ten or so years later. Kagiha ends up drowning and his body is never found*

(*His body is found in the common route ending, but I don't remember any mentions of it in any other endings.)

Ten or so years later, Karasuba, Yamato, and MC meet again after Karasuba and Yamato moved, following the accident. MC is still pretty torn up about Kagiha's death, partially from guilt, and semi-refuses to talk about it. Yamato has been visiting his brother in the hospital every day, also from guilt. Karasuba moved on, and was more concerned with becoming stronger since he could only stand and stare as MC and Monshiro drowned. They go on a Fun Bus Ride!™️ And plummet off the side of a cliff after the driver... Falls asleep? Gets hit by mother nature? I dunno.

They end up comatose and in a mansion that's in a place between life and death. They have to find the shards of a magical kaleidoscope so they can return to earth and Hikage can get his wish fulfilled. Frankly uninteresting romance happens. Yamato turns into a monster and then partially back. This all sounds cool when simply laid out but when you're playing the game multiple times and the slowness of the max speed of the skip button starts to hit? Maaaaaan it sucks. It also makes some sections of the game unintentionally funny because while voices don't play during skip mode, sfx do and it's kind of hard to take Hikage seriously when he's in his evil mode but his walking sounds like someone chopping veggies really fast.

One aspect that really disappointed me was that there was only one real (labeled) bad ending. There are no endings where you all end up trapped in the psychedelicha forever because you can't find the last shard, there's no ending where you give up, no ending where, in a mansion with deadly and aggressive monsters in it, you get killed. That might sound weird and honestly maybe it is but the one bad ending simply being a choice of whether you open a book (bad end) or not (you get to continue playing) feels out of place. Yes some of the characters endings can absolutely be counted as bad ends but... They don't get you the achievement that triggers when you get the 'Bud' ending. (I am unsure as to why it is called that.)

The true endings are all nice. Again Yamato's feels the nicest simply because he gets to apologize to his brother and make amends. He also gets reassurance that no, he isn't an awful person just because he made an admittedly very awful decision as a child.

Karasuba gets shown that he's kind of awful and gets to grow into a better person with MC. Good luck with the relationship.

Monshiro gets to give MC her ribbon back and also gets told that no, you didn't deserve to die instead of Kagiha. Good for him. I'm still conflicted.

The additional scenes unlocked after certain endings were nice too. Seeing Karasuba confront Hikage about his identity was honestly really cool. Seeing what Hikage was up to scheming before the games events was nice. Seeing Kagiha and Monshiro interact was neat, especially since they don't really do that very much. Plus it adds lore.

And finally... The secret ending. You get to make the choice of actually staying in the mansion during the summer camp, keeping everyone safe and alive. It's definitely a nice addition after spending this whole game in danger and having to deal with issues. I honestly had started to wonder why they didn't do that. Like yes they're kids but... None of them had thought of it? Damn. Being able to not traumatize MC was great. Having to deal with four clingy guys? Not so much.

Here's the complete in game flowchart if anybody was curious as to what it looked like!

In conclusion.... Yeah no I can't completely recommend this game. It kind of sucks, it's vita exclusive (I think?), and one of the mechanics forced on you (the butterfly hunt mini games) are kind of jank and annoying to replay and replay for points. And again this game is exceptionally mid. Not good mid, not bad mid, just true neutral mid. Anyways, remember: hooray! Hooray! Beniyuri-chan! Hooray! Hooray! Kagiha-kun!

[unsettlingcreature]

Helloooo! For the fanfiction ask game: 1, 15, 17, 27, 45, 55, 79. Sorry if there's too many :)))

no apologies needed, I love answering questions :3

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I daydream a whole ton simply because a lot of fics start out as either "what if I wrote xyz" (and then being like, well why don't I?) or me just bouncing an idea around in my brain (and realising I like it too much to NOT write it). Sometimes they get stuck in the stage between daydreaming and actually writing it because I get caught up in planning how I want things to go, which has caused some ideas to fizzle out over time as I realise I'm not as excited about the idea in practice.

15. What’s your favorite time to write?

Probably late at night/super early in the morning. Especially if my sleep schedule is wobbly, I'll often wake up at 3am and suddenly feel the need to start writing. It's not that I hate writing during the daytime, it just feels weird to me.

17. Do you have a writing routine?

Sort of!! I'm trying to figure out what works for me but so far my writing routine is just getting myself something to drink and setting out some snacks, so I don't lose focus when I get thirsty or a little peckish. My current snacks of choice are hard pretzels, a cereal bar and some humbugs.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

This has actually changed over time. I used to feel strongest writing scenery and I still do but I actually feel really confident writing combat scenes now. I used to hate them because I had no idea how to start but reading books and watching fights at Empire helped me get a good point of reference.

45. What genre/trope do you tend to write the most?

I'm not really sure. My first instinct was to say Time Travel/Fix-it but I haven't written that for years. I guess the Found Family trope mainly because I end up putting that into most longfics I write 😭For genre, definitely fantasy of some flavour.

55. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics?  Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

My brain often latches onto phrases I like and then I have to struggle to not use them too often. At the moment, I've been trying to not overuse "they swallowed the rising bile in their throat".

For common settings, I think I definitely prefer fantasy settings overall. The current big projects I'm working on with fics are all fantasy (skyrim fic, two d&d fics with perseus, the dragon age fic I'm planning) but I think that's just because it is my favourite genre/setting.

I think as themes go, I also tend to put a focus on characters starting out in a bad place and almost hitting rock-bottom, only to grow and flourish. I also accidentally made both Arielle and Perseus struggle to hold their faith - I'm not totally sure whether Arielle will find it again like Persy did though!!

79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?

Focus on writing what makes you happy because if you don't, you'll often lack the motivation to keep working on it - so it'll either never get finished or never be finished to a standard that you're satisfied with. But at the same time know that you're going to hit certain points in longer projects where it doesn't burn so brightly as always (usually when you're writing the less exciting parts or areas that you are weaker in).

There's also no shame in putting ideas/projects on the back burner or giving up on them. If you decide partway through that you don't want to finish it, you'll still have learnt and improved from what you have completed (even if you only just started. Planning and writing the beginning is harder than a lot of people give credit for!!)

[snotsloth]

"Writers steal things. It's just a thing."

Definitely recommend this TikTok on fantasy and science fiction writers "stealing" concepts from one another, and specifically Dune. Go watch it, it's quite good and has some great insights.

At times in my life, I really struggled with world building or coming up with story mechanics because I was worried my ideas weren't "original" enough. I was also coming up in the "TV Tropes" and "Cinema Sins" era where being derivative was like the worst thing you could be as a creator. Oh you use well known tropes? People can predict how your book is going to end? You're a bad writer.

Since then it's been proven time and again that predictability is not actually as much of a story killer as we were led to believe. If you think about famously bad TV show finales like Game of Thrones or Lost, a lot of them have one thing in common. The writers' main goal was to surprise the audience. They went with what was least expected, not what was narratively satisfying.

But surprising does not always mean satisfying and in story telling, it often leads to other emotions like disappointment, confusion, frustration, or outright anger. People actually like it sometimes when they can see a particular ending coming or identify a particular trope that they like and can follow to its inevitable conclusion.

This is because people like patterns. We're hardwired to seek them out, even where they don't actually exist. It's how we interpret the chaos of the world around us. Archetypes, tropes, and foreshadowing help ground your audience in the narrative. They serve as signposts to help them find their way and understand the story you are telling them.

I took a very basic music theory class as an elective at university and I remember the professor explaining music as a constant tension between repetition and variety. A composition often consists of variations on a theme. You'll have the same note sequence but played in different key signatures, or the tempo changes, or you may modulate up and down. But ultimately, keeping the audience's interest relies on keeping a balance between repetition and deviation.

The same is true when writing a story. It's actually a good thing to take inspiration from other writers and artists that you admire. You are standing on the shoulders of giants. Centuries of narrative experimentation and tradition have come before you and abandoning all that would be a waste.

Plus, as you explore and take ideas in from other writers you will also start realizing what you don't want to "steal." No work is perfect, and as you experience more of what you like you will also discover what doesn't work. Sometimes it's obvious stuff like racist tropes that are harmful to your audience, misogyny and lack of development for female characters, or even just plot beats that you find boring. (Citation: I love The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay but I always struggle to get through the part where Joseph is stuck in Antarctica.)

Very often, your early writing will feel like you just made a collage of all the stuff you liked most in your favorite stories. It will feel derivative because you are still processing the structures, tropes, and aesthetics that you like. As you continue to write, and continue to read and explore other modes of art, those edges will start to soften and blend into one another. Like the ingredients of a stew, all your inspiration will get mixed up and brewed together into something that is uniquely your voice.

That's what is really wild about honing your craft. You have to make shitty derivative projects before you can make something truly original and great. Creating a good story usually doesn't happen by just learning what has been done before and doing not that. A good, unique, personal story comes from embracing all the influences on your work that you've stirred around in your brain, stewed for 10+ years and poured back out as something brand new.

Michael Chabon, author of aforementioned favorite book, The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay once wrote, "All novels are sequels, influence is bliss." So, if you're tackling NaNoWriMo this month or just trying to get something on the page and keep getting stuck on the anxiety of "am I just stealing ideas from better writers?" Don't worry about it. You absolutely are, but so was every other writer you've ever admired. Anyone who says otherwise is a filthy liar.

Embrace your influences. Be mindful and deliberate with them in your work. Through them, you'll find a voice that is genuinely and uniquely you. And above all, keep writing!

[roseharpermaxwell]

Dramione Eighth Year Recommendations - Part Two

Eighth year is one of my most favorite tropes. I just love the idea of these characters in a familiar setting post-battle. I’ve shared many of my favorite eighth-year recommendations in three posts. I hope you find some favorites!

Part Two includes 35+ fics between 5 - 10k words.

I’m Never Lonely When I’m With You by @pacific-rimbaud. M, 5k. "I won’t take the room." She shakes her head emphatically. "Living with you is totally out of the question."

"Obviously."

“But if I did—"

His brow furrows. "Would you?"

First-Name Basis by Santhe. M, 5k. “I’m not trying to get rid of you,” she whispers, folding in further. His pacing hesitates, halfway between her and the fire.

He has his old, icy voice back, but there’s a new tremor to it now. “Then what are you doing?”

With her hands pressed to her chest, she can feel what he felt—pulse hammering well over two hundred beats per minute. Chest stuttering, muscles shaking, voice broken when she quietly admits, “I’m so lonely, Draco; aren’t you?”

Lesson Learnt by @whimsymanaged. E, 5k. The Slytherin boys spend all their time talking about wanking, and Hermione's exasperated.

Red or Green by @senlinyu. T, 5k. When Hermione returns to Hogwarts for Eighth Year, she is there in search for a sense of the familiar. Instead she ends up resorted and placed in Slytherin, the last place she will ever belong.

a lovely vintage '99 by @faeorabel, @megamegaturtle. M, 5.5k. It's Valentine's Day and Hermione wants to spend it with her boyfriend. But...Draco Malfoy might not know he's her boyfriend.

That Can Be Arranged by @darkofthemoonfic. E, 5.6k. Secret doors, hidden halls, and moving staircases are commonplace at Hogwarts. So why does it feel like the castle is forcing him into locked rooms with Hermione Granger? 

Kissing Booth by @floorcoaster. T, 5.6k. At an end of the year festival at Hogwarts, Draco is stuck manning the worst booth at the event. Well, with the possible exception of Granger's assignment.

Between Pages by DarkoftheMoon. E, 5.7k. First Year Hermione Granger couldn't wait to send her beloved fairytale collection to her anonymous book exchange partner, complete with a lovingly written note. In return she's given a very rare potions journal and a note written on expensive stationery: I like this book because potions are interesting. Don’t feel too bad if I’m top of our class.

Touch by @indreamsink. E, 5.7k. Looking only satisfies the tension between them for so long before she wants to touch.

Out of Uniform by @aetherioswrites. E, 5.9k. Draco Malfoy never seemed to be in full uniform. Hermione tries to remedy the fact and ends up achieving the exact opposite. She wouldn’t call the mission an exact failure, per se. 

Rumor Has It by @mrsren. M, 6k. It starts as a rumor, and begins the unraveling of Draco Malfoy's sanity. It takes seven words, and suddenly, he can't get Granger out of his head no matter how hard he tries.

i'm not a bad girl (but i do bad things with you) by sarab3lla and @va13lentina. E, 6.4k. It’s Draco and Hermione’s three months anniversary, but he’s been busy and they’ve barely seen each other all day.

Too bad she had a gift for him.

Some would say such a gift is not appropriate for a good Gryffindor girl like her.

Well, let the Head Boy be the judge of that.

The Patrol Schedule by @wish123dramione. T, 6.6k. After a slight shake of his head, he turned back to her. “Granger, I’m not looking to get into it with you this year. If there’s any barrier to us working collaboratively, I can tell you right now that it’s going to be you.”  

black lines and little white lies by @adxmparriish. E, 6.8k. Draco has a new tattoo and Hermione has made it her mission to find out what it is

Keep Your Eyes on Me by @nuclearnik. E, 6.9k. In the midst of planning an end-of-year ball, Hermione finds an intriguing way to de-stress.

Common Ground by @kyonomiko. T, 6.9k. There are fewer things more delightful than finding out how much you have in common with someone that surprises you. How much could Draco Malfoy possibly have in common with Hermione Granger? 

Game On by @biscuitsforpotter. M, 7k. As co-Head Boy and Girl, Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger just can't seem to get along. Hermione won't let Draco have a say and Draco refuses to listen. In an effort to force them to work it out, Professor McGonagall sets up a series of non-traditional detentions to get them to work together and communicate better. Her chosen method: board games. What could go wrong?

Say You Want Me / Kiss Me Quick by Kyonomiko. T, 7k. Hermione Granger is at a sort of crossroads. 8th year is ending and her life is laid out in front of her, white picket fences and a high school sweetheart waiting in the wings. But she would be reckless, could turn her back on all of it, if he only asked.  

The Lucky Ones by @acciomjolnir. E, 7k. What happens when your soulmate is off saving the world in a world where you develop a soul mark upon your intended reaching their 18th birthday? And what happens when your 18th birthday rolls around and she doesn't reach out to you?

still got you all over me by @hawthornewhisperer. M, 7.5k. “Earl Grey,” a deep voice said, and it was like walking straight through a ghost. Her stomach plunged, her veins turned icy cold, and she made herself count to three before turning around.  

Seven Minutes series by @echoesofmyfootsteps. E, 7.9k. Hogwarts has inaugurated a fully integrated 8th year class, regardless of previous house or Death Eater status. On the surface, it appears like a bold experiment in harmony. In practice, they’re still just young adults doing young adult things.

Looking by @dreamsofdramione. E, 8.1k. Hermione didn't want to see Draco shagging a witch on the couch in their shared Head Dorm, truly she didn't, but she couldn't seem to look away.

Baby, It’s Hot In Here! By @charlipetidei. E, 8.1k. “Wait... You’re the one I’ve been singing to?” Hermione asked, dismayed.

“Sweet Merlin, Granger!” He bent to grab at the fallen shower curtain, one hand straying from its important task of concealing an erection that, in Hermione’s opinion, seemed rather keen on remaining visible. “Can't we do this another time?!”

Your Hands Are Cold by macxboyle. M, 8.1k. In hindsight, it was cripplingly clear to Draco Malfoy where he went wrong in crafting his perfect proposal to Hermione Granger: he had asked Theodore Nott for help.

Blood Bubbles Sex Magik by kyonomiko. M, 8.4k. Lock a couple of teenagers in a posh bath with no way out but a little sex ritual and see what happens. No mystery here, just a means to an end. Maybe to a beginning if they're lucky.

Good Luck Kisses by @willhavetheirtrinkets. T, 8.4k. A good luck kiss for a Quidditch captain - it's ridiculous. It can't actually work. But it does. Every time.

Nothing Good Happens After 2AM by @lovesbitca8, @nikitajobson. E, 8.5k. And in the heartbeat that he didn't return the kiss, Hermione saw the rest of her school year flash before her eyes. The embarrassment, the teasing. Her chest constricted at this terribly awful thing she just did — kissing Draco Malfoy.

Cigarettes and Sweaters by @barnettdidit. G, 8.6k. Hermione is overwhelmed: Living with Draco, taking her NEWT's and caring for Hogwart's students as Head Girl was shaping up to be more difficult than she thought. She takes up a rather unhealthy vice, and surprisingly, Draco seems to share it. A friendship buds.

The Leavers' Ball and the Runaway Heads by @arabellawrites and @lunap999. M, 8.6k. They only have one more night before Eighth Year is over and they all go their separate ways. But maybe one night is enough to change the course of their lives.

The Legacy of Fred Weasley by kyonomiko. T, 9k. Fred loved a good party. And Christmas. And suprises. George intends to see his brother's last Weasley product realized...

it has to be you by @thelashjedi. E, 9.2k. “You just told me that you made an Unbreakable Vow in bloody fourth year — something that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass over here helped you with — that you would have sex with me before you graduated from Hogwarts. And now if you don’t shag me in the next few days, you will die. Not just sex with someone, full stop, mind you. It has to be sex with me. Muggle-born, notorious swot and insufferable know-it-all Hermione Jean Granger. Me.”

Draco swallowed. “Yes. It has to be you.”

Favorite Secrets by StrongSweetTea. T, 9.3k. When Draco Malfoy catches Hermione Granger spying on him, he assumes she suspects him of some evil plot -- which, to be fair, has been true in the past. But when she starts trying to give him candy and harassing him about what he likes best, he doesn't know what to think.

Not-so-Secret Admirer by @potionchemist. T, 9.8k. Draco has fancied Hermione for years. When she and Ron Weasley break up, the Slytherins encourage him to take his shot.

Some nights kept me awake (I thought that I was stronger) by mollygeorgia. M, 9.9k. Hireath (noun): (1) A homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was. (2) A longing to be where your spirit lives. (3) A deep and irrational bond felt with a time, era, place, or person.'

For Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, how can one word end up meaning so much?

And a few more of my own:

Chaperones M, 5.5k. "I'm going to court Granger," Draco said around a mouthful of toothpaste. He spat into their sink and rinsed his mouth, leaning against the doorframe with a casual air that belied the enormity of such a statement. "We need you to be our chaperone."

Theo closed his astronomy textbook, using a thumb to hold his place. "I'm sorry, what?"

Draco nodded, as though he'd expected disbelief. "Courting Granger. That's something I'm doing now."

The Acceptance of a Sincere Apology T, 7.3k. Draco thinks his expectations for eighth year are well-managed: they can't be any lower. But his assigned study partner (and roommate) turns out to be Hermione Granger, and she's a surprise he doesn't see coming. 

Really Sell It E, 7.6k. Draco's having a rough eighth year, and Hermione's going to make it better for him.

"Well, it’s clear what needs to happen.” She gripped his chin, tilting his head to make sure she hadn’t missed any injuries, before looking straight into his eyes. “You’re my boyfriend now.”

Pop on over to Part One or Three (and feel free to check the Master List of Recommendations if you’re seeing this as a reblog, because I’ll keep my lists updated there as I have new recs to add). 

[fairestwriting]

slams open your door/ one angst request for a childhood g/n reader with deuce, ace, jack, ruggie and vil coming right up! "if we're still single by 30, let's get married! (for housing benefits lol)" it was a childish promise made in jest, but the boy never forgot. in the end, it ends with unrequited/pining feelings from one/both sides that cant be returned due to bad timing/prior engagements/etc when they reach of age (go hogwild with the scenarios lis!!)

(slams my hands on the table) yes yes yes yes YES i love this trope

+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!

Deuce Spade

You make the promise to him after you confessed to your crush sometime in 7th grade and got rejected, left to cry by yourself behind the school. Out of all your friends, only Deuce came to comfort you -- And so you, in your dramatic childish glory, feeling like you’d never find anyone to love, tell him the two of you should get married if you’re single by 30.

Deuce remembers every detail of that event down to how your eyes gleamed with the tears, how the light of the sunset casted that golden glow on your hair -- It was when he knew he loved you. It took him a while to find the right words to describe the feeling, but he’d been feeling it for a long time.

He doesn’t pursue you because he feels like he’ll grow out of it. You go to NRC together, the two of you against the world, and it’s like everyday he falls in love a little more. You support him through his attempts of being a honors student, and on the day of your graduation, the first thing you do is hug each other tight, cheering about how you made it, you finally made it.

You don’t lose contact with each other even after school. Deuce and you are basically attached to the hip, meeting up every other week to talk about college and then your jobs. Through all of this time you’re friends, both of you go through a handful of relationships each, but none of them are really serious. As you approach 30, Deuce remembers that promise from back then.

When your birthday comes up, you’re sort of gloomy over recent breakup, and Deuce, naturally, is the first one to be there for you. He shows up in the morning with a gift and makes you breakfast, your dear best friend warming your heart once more. You rant about your latest partner and exchange anecdotes about how last week went before everything goes silent, and suddenly his hand is hesitantly on yours.

“D-Do you remember, um.” He begins, face flushed. “That promise we made in middle school? That if we were single until 30...”

You blink. Really, that? It felt like so long ago -- It was hard to remember even. You can barely catch what he was going to try to say before you laugh your middle school self off, snickering at how naive you were -- Something in Deuce seems to shatter, then, and his hand retracts. It’s so fast you can barely tell what’s happening.

And he stays with you through the birthday regardless, of course he does. He’s your dearest friend, isn’t he?

the rest is under the cut cause... its long

Ace Trappola

You hated Ace, initially. You met in kindergarten and he was the worst, literally. Always pulling pranks on everyone and acting just so infuriatingly cheeky, your 5 year old self learned real rage through that little redhead boy who always hid your things just to get a rise out of you.

One day you decided to prank him back, causing massive trouble in the classroom that ends with the two of you getting intensely scolded, and that’s how, somehow, a beautiful friendship blooms. Ace gets this sparkle in his eyes when you’re done getting yelled at, and says that the two of you should be friends and work together on doing this to other people.

Since then you two became inseparable. You’d never stop bickering, but you also never left each other’s side. The two of you were a menace, an absolute terror to your teachers -- Whether you were a good kid before meeting him or not didn’t matter, Ace is great at being a bad influence.

Near the end of 4th grade, you begin hearing about how one of your classmate’s single parent was getting married again. This sparked a big conversation between your class, somehow, with everyone declaring who they wanted to marry. It was a silly childish thing. When your turn comes, you proudly announce that when you grew up, you’d marry Ace if you hadn’t married anyone else by 30, ‘cause no one else would choose him but me! You snicker after making the comment, amused at how mean you were being, but somehow your snarkiness seems to fly over Ace’s head.

It’s a thing that happens that you two never really talk about again, but it ticks in the back of his mind for his whole life as you two grow up. Even entering middle and then high school, he always remembers it when he goes through some sort of romantic disappointment. You really were the only one who always stuck around, after all...

Years go by and somehow you’re still by each other’s side. Every birthday that passes Ace thinks about it a little more, he wonders if that promise from ages ago was true. When your 30th birthday comes up the promise is constantly in his mind, he’s driving himself up the wall with expectation. And he doesn’t even know why he’s feeling like that, really, you two are just childhood friends, right? There’s no reason for him to be feeling so... like this.

Eventually, he just blurts it out, a couple days after said birthday. You two are probably just hanging out and ranting about work when he goes “Hey, you remember that stuff you said in 4th grade? About, uh, us getting married?” And you go silent for a beat. His heart races as he wonders what the hell he’s doing, even.

But you laugh it all off. What, that stuff about marrying you? Yeah, I was such a dumb kid. I was right, though, look how you’re still single, you joke, and it feels like a punch to the gut to Ace. He laughs awkwardly with you. Yeah, sure, how foolish the two of your were for thinking of something like... you two... being together like that...

Jack Howl

Jack was, before everything, the scary boy in your 2nd grade class. Beastmen weren’t exactly common at school, especially wolves like him, so he ended up sticking out quite a lot. Most kids, your friends included, thought he was far too scary to approach. And Jack himself seemed to be fine with that, not really interacting much with anyone.

That was all he was for you until, one day, an older kid gets mad at you during lunch for bumping into them and staining their shirt with juice. They’re about two or three years ahead and so much taller than you, you’re genuinely scared -- And who would know that in a moment like this, the one kid in your class you weren’t very fond of would stand up for you, convincing the bully to go away.

Afterwards, Jack asks if you’re okay, you two end up eating together, and the rest is history. You find out he was actually really sweet, despite seeming so tough, and you get comfortable with it. Jack was always a reliable, loyal friend, someone you knew you could count on.

This included when your friends started being weirded out by you for getting close to the scary boy in class. They get it in their heads that you have a crush on him and tease you for it, which makes you upset, but Jack stands up for you again. This was enough for you to be pretty starry eyed at the age of 7, so you declared that, hey, who cares about what these mean kids are saying! Maybe you and Jack should be together anyway. Actually, if you two got to 30 and you were still single, you should get married! Jack gets just as starry eyed as you, and you seal a pinky promise that day.

What you never knew, though, was that he wouldn’t grow out of it -- Because as time goes by and you two grow up alongside each other, it ends up slipping your mind. You meet new people and learn new things, getting into some relationships here and there, and though you’d taken the promise seriously for a bit when you were a kid, it was just something you laughed about now.

You don’t even remember it on Jack’s 30th birthday. You’re one of the first people to show up to the small gathering, naturally, you had known each other since forever. You’re teasing him about how he was so perpetually single even now, that you were reaching “marriage age”, and this seems to fluster him a bit.

“Well...” He starts, his ears going slightly limp. “I wanted... to keep that promise, you know. From when we were kids.” His voice is quiet, uncertain. It’s different from how you usually hear him talk, and you have no idea what he’s talking about. You question him about it, and he’s wide eyed when he realizes that you actually forgot.

He questions you about it. How could you forget? You two actually made a pinky promise about it -- But you’re just confused as to why he’s bringing this up, saying that of course it wasn’t a big deal, you two were just kids when it happened! Was he really expecting something from that? And when you ask him that, he’s silent.

Needless to say, the birthday is soured. Jack asks for you to leave, it’s a mess. You don’t know what you did wrong, exactly, just like you’re not sure how you could possibly fix this.

Ruggie Bucchi

“Partners in crime” was the only possible way to describe what sort of relationship you had with Ruggie. It starts in elementary school, you’re walking around in a farmer’s market near the slums and you catch him taking a handful of apples from a stand, without paying. Your eyes are wide as you remember who that boy was, a classmate of yours, and despite what your family had taught you about stealing, you walk up to the person taking care of the stand, and start chatting with them to distract them.

You’re not sure what really made you want to help this boy you barely knew, but it turned out to be the one thing in your life you’re the most grateful for, because the next day, when he sees you again in class, he runs up to you to thank you so many times in a row. And since then, you two started spending time together.

And you got along so well! Ruggie got along with most of the other kids and you had some friends of your own, but nothing was compared to how close the two of you were. You two scheme your way in and out of trouble through your school days, and at one point you can barely imagine your life without him.

Sometime mid 6th grade, your classmates start talking of crushes and dating and such, which gives you a lot to think about. You’re a bit upset that you seem to be the only one who isn’t in on the new fun, so one day, when you’re hanging out with Ruggie, you complain about feeling like you’d be single forever. Ruggie laughs and says that if no one wanted to be with you, then no one would want to be with him either. You still wonder what that meant.

In a fit of childishness, you say decisively that if you two were single until you were 30, you’d get married. Looking back on it, you can’t tell if you were kidding or not, but Ruggie and you shake hands mid-laughs, like you’re sealing a deal.

So time goes by. You don’t think too hard about that promise and Ruggie... doesn’t seem to, either, you actually wonder what’s going through his head often, because he rarely tells you what he’s thinking. You end up going to NRC together, to both of your families’ joy, and that just ends up making you closer, as two kids from the less-privileged side of the Afterglow Savannah in such a prestigious academy...

Your bond ends up really fire-forged after those four years, so it’s no surprise to anyone that you’d still be close even after you graduate, even as adults. Nothing could break a friendship like this.

You think about it on the day of your 30th birthday, when you’re out for drinks with Ruggie to celebrate. Really, how the hell did you stick to each other’s side for so long? You ask him as you loop an arm around his neck, and he grins. “Well, maybe we should get married like you promised then, y’know... when we were brats.” He says, a little quieter than your previous conversation. There’s a hint of some kind of different feeling there that you don’t catch at the time, scoffing at him and going, yeah, in your dreams.

The rest of the night goes normally, though you don’t hear from him for a couple days afterward... and when you do, he barely looks you in the eye. You wonder if anything bad happened, if you did anything wrong.

Vil Schoenheit

When Vil Schoenheit moved into your town, everybody was talking about him before he even really set foot into the classroom. Everyone had seen him somewhere -- The poster boy of villainy in all your favorite movies, a kid with a pretty face and a haughty aura.

You’re as curious as everyone else to meet him, though you don’t really share that strange vindictiveness the other kids seemed to have, angered at Vil himself for what his characters put others through. It’s so stupid, you thought, isn’t he just the actor? He might actually be nice.

When he arrives into the classroom, people are about as annoying towards him as you expected. Their disdain towards Vil bothered you, he’d barely said anything to others and yet they were already pegging him as a mean, arrogant person. So stupid, you repeat to yourself, and you decide to talk to him normally, and that’s how your ages-long friendship came to life.

Vil wasn’t like anyone you’d ever met. You come to find that he’s rather haughty, yes, and very strict with pretty much everything, but he was also very kind deep down, and willing to help you with anything you needed. He was a good friend. He was also, as you came to find out as you grew a little more, astoundingly pretty. With people disliking his “villainy” or not, by the time you’re starting middle school, he already consistently gets confessed to.

You’re a bit jealous. Not because you wanted Vil for yourself, no, he was just a good friend, but you wished people would find you as attractive as they found him, sometimes. You express that to him when you’re walking home together one day, and he laughs it off, saying it wasn’t as good as you thought it’d be. Still, you make him promise that if you were single by 30, he’d have to marry you, because if he just let you die alone, he’d be a bad friend. Vil seems strangely mesmerized by that, but he agrees.

Time goes by, you get to watch each other grow. Even with all the people going in and out of Vil’s life, he seems to keep you closer to his heart than everyone, and you never really lose contact with each other. Even when he’s busy, with movies or modeling or school, he still makes time to check up on you, and you see each other often.

When you’re actually nearing 30, Vil has reached a sort of stardom that burned your eyes just looking at, and you were so goddamn proud of him it was real. Somehow, he still makes time to show up for your birthday, after about a month of not really seeing each other -- And he spoils you to death on that day, the two of you spending all of it together and talking until it was late at night.

As the sun is about to rise, though, Vil’s chattiness subsides. About as sleep deprived as you, he says, softly “So since we’ve gotten there, and we’re both still single... maybe we should fulfill that promise from years ago, shouldn’t we?” You take a moment to process it, it’s tough remembering exactly when you made such a promise, but eventually you do. You feel like that should’ve been a joke, but the way Vil looks at you isn’t saying joke at all.

You sort of laugh it off either way, though. What, that silly promise? You ask, are you rubbing it in that you’re prettier than me? I can still find a partner looking like this, y’know. You think it’s funny, but Vil suddenly falls completely silent.

He then sighs, almost wistful, and says “Sure you can” before the conversation progresses... you’re not sure what happened, but life goes on after that like nothing happened. Deep down, Vil is feeling stupid for having taken the promise to heart, like he should have known better... but if you never really meant it, then what could he do but give it up? Even though it was the thing he wanted to do the least... he valued your friendship too much to do something that could possibly ruin it.

[avidoro]

So I saw this Beetlejuice the Musical fanfic checklist post, a while back, that listed a bunch of commonly used tropes and one of the ones that was listed was the usages of “god/satan” in a fic and it made me think about that trope, because I do see it a lot. For starters, don’t get me wrong, I’m not being condescending! I don’t want anyone to think that! You guys write however you want and I will still read it and eat it up and love it because you’re all absolutely amazing! This is more observational than it is critique. Hell, maybe some of the writers are already aware of what I’m going to say and they just don’t care which is absolutely fine! Keep being you! I love this community and I’m happy to be a part of it! Anyway, the god/satan trope is used a lot in fanfics and, while it’s a silly little nod to the musical, I can’t help but wonder if some writers misunderstood the meaning behind its usage in the musical. The phrase is commonly used in place of “god” in sentences. “God/satan that was good!” “Oh my god/satan!” Almost like it’s his deity. But in the musical there are three times that I can think of, off the top of my head, where he actually just says “god”. - When Lydia is tricking him into thinking she’s about to say his name a third time: “Oh god, this is gonna be so good!” (Granted he doesn’t always say it here, but he has.) - After Lydia summons him and he terrifies the Deetzes and Deans: “Oh (my) god! I missed that sound!” - After he gains life during his emotional breakdown: “What if I’m never happy again? Oh my god!” The only time we ever hear him say “god/satan” is during Fright of Their Lives when he sings, “Dear god/satan, why’d you send these bed wetters?” It’s also the only time he’s actually addressing them. Given the context and the others times when he uses “god”, it’s fairly safe to assume that this isn’t a common phrase for him to say. He’s actually saying this because he’s uncertain who he should be addressing. He’s frustrated that, of all the people in the world, he’s been stuck with the Maitlands. A goody-good couple who’s idea of the scariest thing ever is the Trader Joe’s parking lot. He’s questioning not only why they were sent to him, but who sent them. Did god send them as punishment or did satan send them as a cruel joke? He has no idea which one is to blame, so he’s asking them both. So it’s interesting to me to see how the usage of the phrase has been turned into his go-to exclamation. Again, don’t get me wrong! I’m absolutely not opposed to anyone using it that way. It was just an observation partly due to curiosity if anyone actually didn’t realize this and partly because I think it’s a silly (in a good way!) trope. I just didn’t want to keep it to myself because it was an interesting observation.

[purplespaceace]

there are a lot of things to address when it comes to writing depression. the two things that I think bother me the most is the romanticisation of depression and the fact that I have yet to come across any girl characters with depression (I listened to dear evan hansen and went, “there are two people with depression/suicidal tendencies. logically, one of them should be a woman” but both of them are boys). so, how do you write depression?

first, you have to accept that it’s not going to be pretty. depression sucks. your character won’t want to shower, brush their teeth or their hair, put on deodorant, or do any other hygienic things you can think of. your character will be smelly, their room will be dirty, they won’t care enough to eat, they’ll have bags under their eyes from lack of sleep. again, depression isn’t pretty.

to be honest, I don’t really have a good way to organize this post, so it will mostly just be a list of symptom and tips, as well as a few things to avoid.

symptom time! people with depression will:

not clean themselves, whether that means brushing their teeth, taking a shower, or something else

not take care of themselves. they won’t eat a lot, which might make them unhealthily skinny, although sometimes we eat a ton out of boredom, or I’m just so tired I need some snack food. we either sleep too much or too little. we won’t change our clothes. we dont drink a ton of water.

we have something in common with people with adhd: executive dysfunction! (aka the suckiest thing) executive dysfunction means we will want to do something or know we should do something, but won’t be able to for hours. this leads to people calling us lazy, which leads to our next thing.

we have horrible self-esteem. your character does not think that they are worth much, if anything. they start every sentence with “I might be wrong” because they have been wrong, a lot, and they believe by default that they are more likely to be wrong than right. this can also lead to or is the result of anxiety, whether high-functioning or not.

we aren’t just sad all the time. for one thing, you might not notice because we’re used to keeping a happy face. for another, sometimes we’re just stuck with incredible apathy. and we can be happy sometimes.

we also shouldn’t cry constantly. in the earlier stages of depression—the first, I dunno, month maybe, people can cry themselves to sleep every so often, but after that you get so used to it and so out of tears and ability to care you just don’t cry randomly anymore.

also, we’re tired aaaall the time. I’m exhausted from being in pain and convincing myself I have a right to exist constantly.

we've lost interest in the things we like. it takes a lot of effort for me to care about things when I’m having an episode.

sometimes I just wake up with a bad, “nothing is worth the pain” feeling in my stomach, which sucks.

some days will be worse then others. sometimes, your character can seem like they don’t even have depression. the next day, they can be a mess.

we can find it hard to pay attention because we just don’t care.

we have bad memories. I don’t remember why. but we won’t remember things that happened in a depressive episode very well.

we can spend whole days sitting on the couch watching television.

doing things should be a struggle! getting out of bed! making breakfast! doing things is difficult!

we think about death a lot. not just suicide.

some miscellaneous tips:

think about how your character‘s mindset is impacted by their depression. I check in on my friends, work to make my days meaningful, and try to make sure people feel safe to be themselves around me. someone else I know values life less because of her depression. what does your character learn? how does it impact them?

make sure their depression is visible. don't mention it once and then have it disappear.

what not to do:

don’t make your character‘s love interest or big epiphany cure their depression.

don‘t make your character’s friends or family complain about their depression or see it as a nuisance unless it’s there for a purpose.

end the ‘suffering artist’ trope. please.

personally, as someone with depression, I don’t want any more stories where we successfully commit suicide or we‘re right about ourselves being bad human beings. I love dear evan Hansen, but the fact that connor’s depression was right about him was something that made me question whether my depression was right about me. the kinds of stories about depression I want to see should be hopeful ones, that reinforce the idea that whatever your depression is trying to convince you of isn’t true. in the story I’m writing currently, my character, katie, tries to commit suicide, but her best friend saves her by convincing her that herself and love are worth fighting for.

self-harm scars aren’t cool or gritty or emo. they shouldn’t be looked upon with awe, but pity.

depressed characters should want to go to therapy. no one wants to be in pain all the time.

that said, we might have second thoughts about therapy because we don’t think we deserve it. we believe we should be in pain. however, we do not believe that therapy is useless or we don’t need it.

if you have any questions or see anything I’ve missed, let me know!

this post is randomly italicized/bolded for people with adhd.

[assaily]

emoji ask game! 🥺🤡🤗🤲✨

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

When a character makes a realization about Five or when they come to understand some aspect about him. realizing just how bad the apocalypse was, or figuring out just how much he loved and missed them. It's like a human connection through understanding is established, and that's makes Five less lonely. It is all over my writing, and it's also my favorite fic to read. likewise, misunderstandings are one of my favorite angst tropes.

🤡 What's a line, scene, or exchange you've written that made you laugh?

I'll save both snips for the end, but for this one i had a hard time finding anything, because I apparently don't write funny things. I ended up finding a scrap from an original story, the context for which is that it's about high-schoolers and the 'wraith' is an alien trying his best to blend in.

🤗 What advice would you give to new fanfic writers that are just getting started?

Oh jeez. um, edit after you write. get up and take a break when you get stuck. Don't worry about 'copying' the things you take inspiration from, there's no such thing as an original idea anymore. occasionally shake up the time of day or the place you write to help keep things fresh.

🤲 Would you please share a snippet of a wip?

I already showed you the good bit of what's polished and sharable, shark, but look on below, for a second snip, from the yet to be seen 3rd chapter of howling that i have been slaving away at forever...

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

I really like the way i describe things actually. Also sometimes the meticulous detail i put into things really pays off and i get a real kick out of rereadings. And I like to think i do emotions pretty good. I make myself cry a lot and really that's the goal so.

...

Alex had full intention of sleeping in. Maybe getting up at some point to close the window before it got too hot. Sleep until at least noon. It was summer break, he had nothing better to do. Before long he could hear Carmen’s voice from down stairs and knew that he wasn’t going to be sleeping in.

She burst in the next second, her face red with excitement. “You’re not going to believe what I did last night! And then this morning my mom made me apologize, which was super embarrassing but I got some info.”

“Holy shit, dude, it’s not even ten yet. Don’t you sleep? You were up till like four last night?” Alex asked from where his nose was still buried under the blanket.

“I met our Marcus replacement.”

Oof.

Alex didn’t want to think about Marcus, let alone talk about him. Their friend had been gone little over a month and Alex had been texting him everyday, but it wasn’t the same as having him right next door. Last week someone had moved into the house Marcus’s family used to live in. So far no one had seen anybody but Carmen was insistent someone was in the house.

“No one is replacing Marcus.”

“Well duh, you know what I meant. The wraith living in his house, the mystery person from the woooooods.”

“Carmen. Stop.”

“I met him, seemed actually like a nice guy. I think I met him last night, or there was another forest monster in his backyard, either way, I met him and he tried to come out and talk to me last night but I got scared so-“

“You talked to him last night? When?”

“I wouldn't say talk, more like I… wandered over the fence to see if anyone was inside.”

Alex narrowed his eyes at her. “You snuck into their property. You know that’s illegal. How many times have I told you that’s illegal.”

“Ah ah ah, shhh.” She jumped onto the bed, grabbing his face with both hands and squishing his cheeks together. “You’re missing the best part,” she whispered. “Mom made me go apologize this morning and I actually met him.”

When she paused for effect, Alex rolled his eyes. “And?”

“And he has a funny accent, gimpy legs-“

“Wow! Carmen! You can’t say that. What’s wrong with his legs?”

“I dunno. He just said he had been hurt.”

“Of course you actually asked him.”

“Yeah, of course.” She blinked, seemed to catch his sarcasm a second later. “Like you expected different!” She flapped her hands, nearly hitting him if hadn’t leaned back. “But the cool part was that he was totally okay with me asking him a Carmen Question. Like he just answered. My mom was like gasp Carmen! Sorry mr weird guy.”

“She didn’t call him mr weird guy.”

“No, but his name was like super bland and boring and I was expecting some foreign name but it was totally not a foreign name and I absolutely don’t remember what it was.”

“Amazing.”

“We should go meet him.”

“Ugh not right now. Besides, it would be weird just meeting some old guy in the neighborhood. Leave that to our parents, man.”

“He’s totally not an old guy. He was like my age-- our age. Probably gunna go to school when that shit starts again. We should be his friend, it would make us so cool to be friends with the new kid.”

“I don’t wanna be cool, I wanna go back to sleep. I’ll meet up with you and Sophie later, then we can go spy on your wraith, okay?” He was already rolling over as he spoke, yawning for good effect. Carmen sat at the end of his bed for a few minutes before he felt her lay down next to him.

The silence was comfortable and stretched out before them long enough that Alex managed to drift off before his bedroom door was thrown open. He bit back the sigh, resigning himself to how tired his eyes already felt.

“You will not believe what my mom said this morning.” Sophie came marching into the bedroom, unheading of her other two friends pretending to be asleep. Well, Alex was pretending to be asleep, Carmen was already standing up again, feeding off Sophie’s excitement.

“What what what?” 

“Apparently someone went running past their window last night at three thirty in the morning yelling about a wraith. Carmen.”

Alex rolled over, a smile fighting its way past the grumpy facade. 

Carmen had deflated, trying to look sheepish but she was fighting laughter. “Oh yeah, that was me. You would not believe what I did this morning.”

“Shit girl, I wanna know what you were doing last night.”

“I may have fallen over a fence.”

Alex snorted.

“Fallen, huh.”  

“Yeah, you know. Into the new weird guy’s house. And then he came out and I got scared so I ran away.”

...

Howling snippet:

---

The porter withdrew his hand, an exaggerated thoughtfulness crossing his face. “You were given a grace period after your surgery, but staff policy is to use physical force to help settle in new residents until a more effective method is discovered.”

Five snorted. “Didn’t Dad tell you anything about me?” he asked. “Physical force isn’t going to get you anywhere with me.”

“Of course Mr. Hargreeves has told us everything we need to ensure you are cared for properly. We understand that your family is very important to you, but seeing as even they have agreed the Hotel is the best place for you, the Staff feels that physical force is the best option to subdue you.”

“I–” he felt like he’d been punched in the face again. “What about my family?”

“They agreed this was best for you.”

“Oh they did, huh?” he said faintly. “You’re so full of shit.” Distantly, he could feel his heart beating in his throat again. “You’re lying.” Of course he was lying, this was just how he’d decided to mess with him. 

“You wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t.”

Red filtered into his color scheme, the edges of his vision wobbling. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t have to be here. “Fuck you.”

The porter’s smile never wavered, he gestured down the hallway. “Do you still want to walk?”

Five couldn’t process the question, his fists clenched so tight at his sides, they trembled. It took every ounce of his self-control not to fly into an ill-advised attack. 

Stay calm…

Her voice was so far and so close, shouted right behind him and whispered from across the room. He closed his eyes and forced himself to take a breath.

“If you do not want to walk, then I must insist you stay in your room.”

He opened his eyes and met the porter’s gaze, gritting his teeth against the instant resurgence of his anger. He wanted to kill him a thousand times over, but he wasn’t sure that would be enough. “I’ll walk,” he growled through his teeth, his jaw clenched so hard it creaked.

[januaryisnotanartist]

KanSang Week Day 05 Wang Clan! Liu Sang

Pairing: Kan Jian/Liu Sang (established, past, future)

Genre: Angst, sad boy hours, angst with a hopeful ending Trope: sad boys in bathrooms, letters from away, things get worse before they get better Author Notes: in my head as I wrote this there was far more ugly crying going on Word Count: 2,470 ish

-

Kan Jian and Wang Sang had been kinda-sorta dating for years. They'd met by chance while Wang Sang was in Hangzhou for an interpreter job, translating for a foreigner looking at a business merger or something. (Kan Jian had been listening when Wang Sang explained it, it's just that that level of business doesn't interest him enough to understand it.)

He'd talked about Wang Sang to his Laoban a lot, about how smart and funny and pretty Wang Sang is. It was his Laoban who helped him figure out that he was in love with Wang Sang, because everyone was just so easy to love, it took a more objective eye to realise there was a difference in the way he loved Wang Sang.

Their date tonight was an anniversary, Kan Jian was going to Wang Sang's for dinner. He didn't know if he'd be staying the night, he had clothes in Wang Sang's place but...

Kan Jian was going to ask, he was going to start the discussion, it was time. He was going to ask if Wang Sang wanted to move in together. Either of their apartments or a new one, Kan Jian hadn't really thought that far yet, but he knew Wang Sang was it for him. He was certain of it.

Or maybe it was just that the one year anniversary of defeating the Wang clan was coming up and everyone was feeling pretty pleased and positive.

-

The fact that Kan Jian had to knock on the door meant something was wrong. He didn't know how Wang Sang did it, but he'd always known when Kan Jian was there and opened the door before he could reach it.

“Wang Sang?” he called through the door, trying to hear any sound beyond, “Sang-ge? Are you there?”

Kan Jian was just about to use his own key when the door opened slowly.

Wang Sang didn't look date ready, he actually looked sort of awful. His pretty hair was lank and greasy like it hadn't been washed recently, Wang Sang's face had the shadows of sleep deprivation under his eyes.

Something from deep in the apartment smelt burnt.

“Babe?” Kan Jian reached for his boyfriend, but stopped when Wang Sang flinched. “What's wrong, are you hurt? Sick? Can I help?”

Wang Sang sniffled, and Kan Jian realised Wang Sang's eyes were bloodshot not just from lack of sleep, but because he'd been crying.

“Ca-” Wang Sang's words caught in his throat, he sounded like he was about to cry again. “Can you come in, I need to- I need to talk to you about something.”

Kan Jian nodded, because of course he'd go inside, of course he'd talk with Wang Sang. He followed through the familiar entryway, past the familiar kitchen, an unusual amount of mess on the stove, traces of smoke still wafting from one of the pots.

But Wang Sang didn't stop there, he lead Kan Jian all the way to the bathroom where a small hand-towel was sitting by the sink.

Wang Sang tipped it in over the edge and turned the tap on hot, letting it gush down onto the towel.

In the back of Kan Jian's mind, something started screaming. It was like a ringing in his ears so loud that between it and the running water, he almost couldn't hear Wang Sang.

“There is something about me that I need you to know," Wang Sang spoke with uncharacteristic hesitation, "because you can't not know, and I can't, I can't keep... I don't want to lie to you anymore, because I'm not even sure if it's real or not. If it's just a lie I've been telling myself since-”

The speed of the water was faster than the towel could take and the excess filled the sink, spilling over with a loud splash, startling them both. Wang Sang lunged for the tap and turned it off, and both of them stood there listening to the odd sounds of the water slowly draining through the towel and into the pipes below.

“I don't understand,” Kan Jian said, a hollow widening in his chest.

“Yes you do,” Wang Sang replied, his voice barely above a whisper, he sounded tired. “You aren't stupid Kan Jian.”

“What was the first lie you told me?” It wasn't the thing Kan Jian should have been asking, but it was what came out.

“I wasn't a freelancer when we met,” Wang Sang said as he picked up the towel to squeeze the excess water free.

'That made sense,' Kan Jian thought, because of course Wang Sang wouldn't have been a freelancer, but that was a lie he would have told anybody.

“Why me?” Kan Jian regretted asking, because he didn't want to know.

“Because we'd met,” Wang Sang flattened the towel and began taking off his shirt.

“What?”

“The first three times we met, I had no idea who you were in the grand scheme of things,” Wang Sang set his shirt down on the driest patch of sink he could find and picked up the towel, turning to Kan Jian. “I just thought you were cute and that I could get away with pretending my cover story was my real life for a few drinks. Then my handler saw you, and they figured, I already had an in, so you became a mission.”

Wang Sang's voice turned bitter towards then end, and he held out the towel with a shaking hand.

Kan Jian didn't want to take it, he wanted to pretend this was all just a joke gone horribly wrong. He took the towel, it was so hot it almost burned, and he pulled Wang Sang into a hug as he reached around to press the towel to Wang Sang's right shoulder.

He didn't know what to ask, what to say, but Kan Jian opened his mouth anyway and hoped something coherent came out.

“How much of you is real?”

“I don't know.”

If he waited until the towel turned cool, if he didn't see the tattoo, then it wasn't real. Kan Jian didn't want this to be real.

He couldn't let the lie linger, and peeled back the still warm cloth.

The Phoenix tattoo is a brilliant mark across Wang Sang's shoulder.

The world was gone from beneath his feet, Kan Jian didn't know how to breathe.

“Did you ever love me?” He didn't mean to ask it.

“It would have been easier if I hadn't, it would have been so easy to stay if it was just a role to play.”

Kan Jian's ears were ringing again as the implications seeped into his brain. He held Wang Sang tighter.

-

Wu Xie felt like an asshole. Something was wrong with Kan Jian and he hadn't noticed until he'd stuck his foot in it.

He'd been so happy to have Xiaoge back, that he hadn't even realised Kan Jian and his boyfriend had broken up.

“Everyone's coming to the 'we beat the Wang's' anniversary party,” Wu Xie had wrapped an arm around Kan Jian, full of jubilation, “even Li Cu and his friends are coming, this would be a great time to invite your mysterious Wang Sang, finally let everyone else meet him.”

Kan Jian had gone from fine to crying in the space of a breath.

Wu Xie learned, through ragged breaths and sobbing tears, that Kan Jian and Wang Sang had broken up. Kan Jian wouldn't say why, insisted that Wang Sang wasn't at fault. He got angry when Wu Xie offered to track Wang Sang down. Kan Jian had never been angry at Wu Xie before.

Wu Xie apologised and pulled Kan Jian in for a hug. Kan Jian continued to cry, his sobs and words muffled by Wu Xie's shoulder.

It was like a bucket of ice pouring down his spine when Wu Xie picked out the words “I don't care who he was, I just want him back.”

Wang Sang.

It was a coincidence. Surely. There'd never been an information leak that could be traced back to Kan Jian, Wang was an entirely common name.

Just to be safe, Wu Xie sent out a few enquiries looking for this Wang Sang, but who ever he'd been before, he was a ghost now.

-

The first letter came while Kan Jian was on a job. He'd been a little more vicious than normal, his heart was still hurting and he'd let that leak out. It always surprised people when he was violent, like they had no idea it was in him. Way down deep and sleeping, sure, but it was still there.

They forgot because he used a slingshot, but Kan Jian was still a sniper.

He almost did what the letter's opening line advised, heart-sore anger making him want to abide “you can burn these letters if you want.”

But he didn't, because he still missed Wang Sang.

Kan Jian had made his way through the emotional fall out, moved from anger to worry over whether it had been hard on Wang Sang to play the part of boyfriend. Had he secretly been repulsed every time Kan Jian had touched him? Kissed him? Kan Jian had moved back to anger, then to aggravation at the idea that nobody could have scripted all their interactions, had torn himself up trying to figure out what had been training and what had been real reactions.

Real feelings.

In the end it was mostly hollowness and aching that left him grumpy and sharper when his edges showed.

But he wanted to know, so he read the letters instead of burning them.

-

Wang Sang had always spelled his name as 王桑, with the Sang for mulberry.

The letters weren't signed at first, though Kan Jian knew who they were from. He learned a lot about the letters' author, because the author was learning a lot about himself as well. Kan Jian had no way to reply, but he kept every letter in the hope that one day, he could talk to the other man about his journey to figure out who he was when he wasn't being told who to be.

Kan Jian had known that Wang Sang had a brother, but it's not until the third letter, when Wang Can is mentioned, that Kan Jian understands what that means.

He wonders which of the dead had been Wang Can.

He wonders if he'd killed him.

-

The eighth letter is signed.

刘丧

Liu Sang.

Sang, for bereavement.

But the letter says it's the name he'd been born to, the one he'd chosen to take back, so Kan Jian is less worried about Wang... about Liu Sang's mental state, and more about the parents who'd named their son like an omen.

-

Kan Jian almost burned a letter.

“I kissed a boy.”

He shouldn't feel betrayed, but he does.

Until he managed to calm himself and read the following lines, because Liu Sang hadn't been able to do anything but compare this stranger to Kan Jian and find him lacking.

-

There's an excitement in Liu Sang's next letter, somehow contained in every character. Kan Jian doesn't understand exactly, but he feels excited too as he reads about the new teacher Liu Sang has found, how he's training his hearing.

Kan Jian remembers hours later, as he's lying in bed, the hearing servants of the Xin Yue hotel, and suddenly a whole lot of things start making sense.

-

Kan Jian's life didn't stop, didn't become nothing but heartache and waiting for each letter. They made it easier to crawl out of the empty place in his life where Wang Sang had been, they reminded him that he had things to figure out too.

He made new friends, he moved on.

(He kissed a stranger or two as well, but they don't make his soul fizz with excitement like Wang Sang had. Like Liu Sang's letters do.)

-

Years slipped by.

There was jobs and friends and parties, and the occasional hospital visit of varying degrees of seriousness because of jobs and friends and parties.

And then there was the Sea King tomb, and Kan Jian was sent to pick up some sonar mapping expert from the airport. He and two others waited on the hood of the truck, and Kan Jian was beginning to wonder if the master they were picking up had missed the plane when:

“Hey, look at that guy,” his friend said, and Kan Jian looked over.

His first thought was: “what kind of excavation master dresses like a real estate agent?”

His second thought was: “how the hell did I forget how attractive he is in person?” Because walking towards them with a rolling suit case in a well fitted suit, hair radiant in the sunlight, was Wang Liu Sang.

The suitcase was shoved towards one of Kan Jian's companions and Liu Sang's gaze is directed at him.

“Wu Erbai sent you to pick me up?”

Kan Jian managed to nod, and not say out loud 'your voice is amazing.' But then Liu Sang was frowning, and turning away and leaving. Kan Jian followed after him because he couldn't lose him again.

-

Kan Jian felt a little bad about stomping on an innocent man, but as they watched the car drive away, Kan Jian was more concerned about Liu Sang, who looked like he was dying inside.

And Kan Jian knew, from whispered words years ago in the dark, and from ink in letters more recent, he knew why Liu Sang had reacted that way.

“'It's better to be wrong like this,'” Kan Jian said, one hand reaching for Liu Sang but not making contact, “'than ignoring it and being wrong the other way.'”

Liu Sang looked at Kan Jian, scared and bare as he recognised his own words, “you could have burned them.”

Kan Jian shrugged, “well, I didn't. I kept every one I got.”

Liu Sang flushed, somehow even more embarrassed than he'd been a moment before. He was anxious, Kan Jian could see it, so Kan Jian took a gamble.

“We don't really know each other very well,” Kan Jian said, and Liu Sang looked startled, his eyebrows scrunching in confusion. “Since we'll be working together for a while, let me introduce myself. I'm Kan Jian, I like slingshots, and my laoban, and your hair and I'll be your driver today.”

Liu Sang pushed his glasses up his nose, but Kan Jian could see the smile he was clearly trying to hide.

“It's nice to meet you, I'm Liu Sang, I specialise in sonar cartography, I like meerkats, and your smile, and my ouxiang Zhang Qiling. I look forward to working with you.”

Kan Jian grinned... and lasted all of twenty seconds before he asked “wait, did you really get the tattoo?”

[5thmarauderwrites]

The Thin Line Between Loathe and Desire — James Potter x Reader [Part I] | Request.

Requests are: OPEN.

Requested by Anonymous: “Could you do a James x gryffindor reader where they have a sort of rivalry because she keeps going around to ruin the marauders pranks since she doesn’t believe in Slytherins being ‘evil’. 💖💖 “.

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Gryffindor Reader.

Word Count: 4,9K

Warnings: Just cursing.

A/N: i LOVE a good enemies to lovers trope and i REALLY got carried away with this request lol i’m still finishing up the next part but since it took me a while to write this and the nonnie who requested it is basically waiting forever now, i decided to release the first part nonethless. hope you all enjoy it! :)

A delicious and inviting smell of food was coming from the Great Hall as the four Marauders crossed the main hallway of the castle in the direction of the door on the right side of the Entrance Hall, which guarded the stone steps that descended deep into the dungeons, where their destination, the Slytherin Dungeon, laid. The sun had already set and the thousands of corridors that made up the imposing fortress of Hogwarts were now empty and silent as the students lodged inside their own Common Rooms, resting from the exhausting day of classes and not so patiently waiting for the last and welcomed meal before they could tug themselves into their comfortable beds.

“The feast is starting soon,” Remus nagged as the boys tiptoed their way down the stone steps, feeling the air get a little chillier the deeper they went. As much as Remus loved his friends and not-so-secretly enjoyed playing harmless pranks in the other students, he couldn’t deny that James was taking things way too far this time.

“Yes, Moony, that’s exactly why we’re heading down into their nest right now!” The boy with untidy black hair that stuck up at the back retorted with an extremely pleased smile. “We’ll caught the snakes off guard by surprising them whilst they’re leaving their hole and L/N won’t be there to ruin our prank this time.”

“And here we go! Took you long enough to bring the name of your lover into our conversation Prongs,” Sirius teased with a lopsided grin as he eyed the darkness ahead of them. Remus and Peter both barked a laugh at Sirius’ words.

“Sod off, would ya Pads?” James growled, narrowing his eyes as he glared in Sirius’ direction. “It’s not my bloody fault that this – this – annoying, pretentious human being keeps ruining our fun repeatedly!”

“Oh mate, she doesn’t ruin my fun, quite the opposite actually,” Sirius grinned as he winged a brow at his best friend. “It’s extremely amusing to watch you two together.”

“I’ll have to agree with Padfoot,” Remus said as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers and shrugged lightly, a playful smile playing across his lips.

James pursed his lips and chose to ignore his best friends as the boys arrived at the end of the long staircase, facing a vast and gloomy stone corridor hedged with detailed stoned pillars and armours ahead of them. He despised Y/N L/N with all the strength he could muster, ever since she ruined what was supposed to be the Marauders’ most epic prank on their first year at Hogwarts. Just the mere thought of the y/h/c girl made his blood boil inside his veins and his heart pick up its beating pace. How could a smart, daring and sassy Gryffindor like herself stand up for Slytherins with such enthusiasm to the point of fighting with her own housemates? James could never understand how Y/N could possibly reckon that “not all Slytherins are evil” when the majority of you-know-who’s followers emerged – and keep emerging – from this very house. The boy had spent countless nights thinking about it, but that was something he would never admit aloud.

“Mate, are you listening?” Sirius’ hand rested on James’ shoulder as the latter blinked repeatedly, trying to focus on his surroundings as he was slowly snapping out of his thoughts.

“Yeah,” James mumbled, realising they were now standing in front of the blank stone wall that led to the Slytherin Common Room. “Where’s the bucket? Wormy, do you have it?” He asked with a firmly and more confident tone of voice.

“I do, Prongs!” Peter smirked mischievously whilst lifting a bucket filled with a silver, enchanted paint that shone alluringly despite of the dim light.

James and Sirius’ features lightened up at the sight, a feeling of pure excitement washing over their bodies as their minds anticipated in a very vivid picture what was about to come. Remus, however, wasn’t as nearly as pleased and happy as his friends; his face held a deep frown and the disapproval was crystal clear in his eyes as he shook his head negatively, severely glaring at his three best friends.

“Do you really think this is necessary?” The brown-haired boy asked, trying to dissolve the boys from their terrible idea one last time.

“Seriously, Moony? This is our best prank yet, we’re making history here!” Sirius exclaimed with a scolding tone, bouncing his hands in the air.

“History?” Remus asked incredulously, winging his eyebrows whilst his eyes widened. “How is writing ‘Death Eater Wannabe’ in people’s foreheads history?”

“We won’t be writing it Moony, we’ll be painting it,” Peter mockingly corrected him, a lopsided grin on his lips.

“Indeed, Wormy!” James wrapped Peter’s shoulders with his arm. “Besides, their faces will be painted with the Gryffindor colours first; the phrase that shows their true selves will only appear if they try to wash the scarlet and gold away.” He shrugged, a proud grin on.

“Sure, because a Slytherin would definitely wear their rival house colours with pride,” Remus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “It’s only obvious that they’ll try and wash it immediately!”

“Now that is not our fault, is it?” Sirius barked a laugh, earning a glare from Remus. “Lighten up a bit, would ya Moony? The paint will only last three days, the snakes will be fine.”

“Pad’s right! It’s just a fun, harmless prank; you don’t have to go full L/N on us, alright?” James grinned as he pushed his glasses higher up the bridge of his nose, shrugging lightly in the process.

“Mate, that’s the second time you talk about her in less than ten minutes, are you really sure you loathe the girl at all?” Sirius teased, squeezing James’ shoulder playfully and wiggling his brows.

“Fuck off, Padfoot!” James hissed as he shoved Sirius’ hand off his shoulder. “Let’s put our plan in motion.”

Sirius nodded, a glint of teasing still in his eyes as he stared at James with a playful defiance. After a while, he turned his attention to Peter. “Did you manage to squeeze their password from that twat Slytherin that was in detention with you yesterday?”

“I did!” Peter answered proudly and gave the raven-haired boy a small nod, clearly satisfied with himself. “I just had to brag about Gryffindor having the most creative and unobvious passwords and he quickly told me theirs and rambled about Slytherin’s cunningness.”

“Wicked, Wormy!” James bumped his fist against Peter’s shoulder in a congratulatory way, a wide smile on his face. “Very good! I think you should do the honours.” He added, winking mischievously and pointing to the stone bricks in front of them.

Peter grinned and straightened his robes as he solemnly stood in front of the wall, clearing his throat in the process. “Pure-blood” He said and a stone door concealed in the wall slid open, revealing a long passage that led to the Slytherin Common Room.

The boys hurried to carefully shut the door close before any Slytherin student could notice them lurking. From the quick glance they took around before that, they felt the room held quite a cold atmosphere, with all the flickering green lights coming from the greenish lamps that hung on chains.

“That’s quite a scary place,” Peter said weakly as a terrified frown took over his features. He was clutched at the back of Sirius’ robes.

“That’s just a Common Room, Wormtail,” Sirius said, shaking his robes so the boy would let go of it.

“A Death Eaters’ Common Room,” James shrugged, scrunching his face.

“Godric, you three are unbelievable,” Remus shook his head as he lowered it down a bit, massaging the bridge of his nose with his fingers and closing his eyes for a slight moment.

Smirking, James flickered his wand at the bucket filled with enchanted paint that Peter had put down on the floor. “Wingardium Leviosa!” The bucket flew graciously above their heads and stopped itself carefully right upon the Slytherin Common Room door. James’ devilish grin grew wider as he eyed his doing proudly.

“Come on! Let’s hide behind that pillar,” the Gryffindor Quidditch captain nodded to a carved stone pillar on their left that provided a wide viewing from the entrance of the Slytherin Common Room.

The other three Marauders signalled their agreement by nodding at him and quickly ran into hiding. James soon followed them, his wand still carefully pointed to the paint bucket. The boys – except from Remus – leaned forward expectantly, eagerly watching the door and waiting for their first victim to cross the portal.

“And,” Sirius sang, glancing at his watch whilst bouncing on his toes. “Any minute now.”

When the door swung open and the four boys eyed the little Slytherin crowd ready to make their way out, James promptly straightened himself up, waiting for them to cross the doorstep before he could turn the bucket upside-down and, therefore, maximize the casualties. At the perfect moment, the boy with hazel eyes and unruly black hair lowered his wand as quickly as he could; ready to watch the Slytherins being bathed in the magical paint. That, however, didn’t happen. The bucket stood still, floating above the door as the students passed by below it, marching in the direction of the Great Hall.

“What’s going on? Why isn’t the bucket moving?” Sirius frowned.

“I don’t know!” James answered exasperatedly, wielding his wand to the bucket and mumbling each and every spell he could possibly think of, but nothing seemed to work.

Remus did his best to suppress a laughter as James, Sirius and Peter hopelessly watched the last Slytherin student crossing the portal, closing the door behind him and waiting until it disappeared into the wall to walk away. Like the others that passed through the doorstep before him, he didn’t seem to have noticed the suspicious bucket that floated above his head.

“What the bloody hell happened?” James asked incredulously at no one in particular, coming off from behind the pillar and stopping underneath the bucket, angrily glancing at it.

Before anyone could say anything, a wicked cackle echoed through the now empty dungeon corridor and the bucket turned upside down, spilling its entire content on James, who unsuccessfully tried to shield himself with his arms.

A loud, amused laughter grabbed the attention of the Marauders as Y/N L/N emerged from behind an armour. “Nice job Peeves!” The girl exclaimed at the school poltergeist, her arms crossed across her chest whilst she leaned against the wall.

“Always a pleasure to ruin Potter’s day, L/N!” Peeves bowed theatrically, his wicked, dark eyes twinkling and his wide mouth curling up into an evil smirk.

The initial shock wearing off, Sirius barked a laugh as the poltergeist flew off the dungeons and sang cursing verses to James in the process. James glared at the raven-haired boy before turning his attention to Y/N, his fists clenched and his body – covered in the glowy enchanted paint that was slowly turning scarlet and gold – trembling with anger.

“You!” James hissed, narrowing his eyes at the y/h/c girl as he slowly started to walk in her direction.

“Me!” She teased with a grin, tilting her head back in a defiant gesture and winging her eyebrows.

“What in the bloody hell are you doing here, L/N?” He spat, getting closer to her.

“What do you think? Stopping another one of your stupid, reckless actions,” the girl retorted, pursing her lips and clenching her fists as she met James halfway.

The two stared intensely and angrily into the other’s eyes, noses and bodies almost touching as their features and shoulders tensed up with the proximity. Their fists tightened their grips as Y/N’s perfume invaded James’ nostrils and the smell of his shampoo and shaving lotion flooded her sense of smell. James could feel her hot breath dancing across the skin of his face, making it tingle and flooding him with its warmth as he did his best not to break eye contact and, therefore, lose their little battle for dominance.

“Oh, the sexual tension!” Sirius exclaimed after a while of steamy silence and James and Y/N could hear the satisfied grin in his voice. “That’s hot!”

“Sod off, Black!” The girl hit back in an outraged tone, still not backing away from James and his intense stare.

“Excuse you? Now you’ve wounded me!” The boy answered, theatrically leading his hand to his heart.

Y/N and James ignored Sirius as they seemed to be lost in each other, fuming with what they’d describe as mutually rooted, profound loathing.

“How did you know about this?” The hazel-eyed boy asked, breathing heavily. James could feel the air becoming heavier and harder to be inhaled.

“How could I not? Your big ego and self-gloating aren’t exactly discreet, you arrogant twat,” Y/N frowned deeply.

“I am an arrogant twat? I?” He cried out, getting closer to Y/N, his nose brushing against hers.

The girl jumped slightly with his sudden move but quickly recomposed herself, making sure he wouldn’t notice it. “Well, obviously.”

“I’m not the one walking around thinking that I’m so much better than everyone else, sweetheart,” he spat in response.

“Do I think I’m better than everyone else? No. Do I think I’m better than you? Definitely,” the Gryffindor girl took another step toward him, and now not only their noses were brushing against the other, but their bodies were almost glued together. James felt a tingling sensation on the back of his neck.

“Are you two going to kiss?” Peter asked confusedly, blinking repeatedly as he looked back and forth between Y/N and James.

“NO!” The two rivals groaned in unison, turning their heads in Peter’s direction at the same time and unwillingly backing away from each other.

“It definitely seemed like you would though,” Remus smirked, amused, as he tilted his head.

“Oh, fuck you, Remus John! I’m way out of this daft dimbo’s league,” Y/N rolled her eyes at her sandy-haired friend.

“I’m the one way out of your league, L/N!” James frowned, poking his tongue slightly into his cheek, clearly offended.

Y/N glared at James from head to toe with complete disdain. “I suggest you go clean yourself up, Potter. Or maybe not, if you don’t want to have Death Eater Wannabe written on your forehead,” the girl laughed before turning on her heels and walk up the corridor in the direction of the staircase, leaving a huffing James behind.

“That girl is a fucking genius,” Sirius said nonchalantly as he eyed the y/h/c Gryffindor climbing up the steps.

“Genius? She’s a nosy know-it-all who thinks she’s above everyone else!” James spat in response.

“Oh come on, Prongs! Even you have to admit that your girlfriend was bloody brilliant using Peeves to prank you with your own prank,” he grinned lopsidedly.

James in fact agreed with Sirius, but he would never admit that. “She’s not my fucking girlfriend, would you stop with that?” he gritted, clenching his jaw.

 /////////////////////////////////

 James massaged his forehead with one of his hands, rubbing the place where the phrase Peeves Rocks was written in shimmery gold, mentally thanking the damn poltergeist for having changed his original spell a bit, as he laid in his bed. He much rather having this written down than Death Eater Wannabe, that was for sure. Actually, he preferred to have succeeded with his plan and having his forehead clean and normal, but thanks to L/N that wasn’t possible. Once again, strong emotions took him by assault as the girl crossed his mind for the hundredth time in the past hour.

“I can’t believe her, seriously. Did you see the satisfied smirk she had on her face when Peeves dropped the paint on me? She’s so bloody infuriating!” James frowned, steading himself on his elbows so he could glance at his friends, who had been chatting about something he wasn’t paying attention to.

The boys rolled their eyes, immediately knowing that that would be a very long rant. “And here we go again,” Remus groaned, covering his face with his pillow.

“Who does she think she is? She’s no queen of the enchanted land of Hogwarts,” James pursed his lips as he went on.

“Bloody hell Prongs, just ask the girl out so you can both relieve that sexual tension that has been tormenting you two for years now and move the fuck on,” Sirius grinned, as amusedly as he always did when teasing his friend about the topic in discussion.

James aimed for Sirius’ face and threw his pillow with all the strength he could muster, but the grey-eyed Black boy dodged it easily. “Fuck you.”

Sirius barked a laugh and soon, Remus and Peter joined him, all of them teasing their hazel-eyed friend. James flashed his middle finger at the three boys, an annoyed frown on his face.

“She’s extremely nice, you know,” Remus said nonchalantly as he crossed his arms behind his head. “And quite similar to you.”

“Not to mention she’s bloody hot,” Sirius shrugged, winging his brows.

“Why don’t you date her then?” James asked grumpily.

“Oh I’ve tried mate, but sadly, that girl never fell for my charm,” Sirius answered thoughtfully. “Besides, I would never go for my brother’s girl.” He added with an innocent smile and a wink as he climbed off his bed and hurried to the bathroom door.

James quickly followed his steps but Sirius was faster, getting inside the bathroom and locking its door before the hazel-eyed boy could catch him.

“I swear to Godric that the next time you imply I’m interested in her in the slightest I’ll bloody hex you, Padfoot!” James shouted, smashing one of his hands rather strongly against the wooden door.

“Well, truth hurts, doesn’t it Prongs?” Sirius’ muffled voice teased him from behind the door.

“Padfoot, I’m warning you…” James bumped the door once again amidst the loud sound of laughter coming not only from Sirius but from Remus and Peter as well.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You’re late, Mr Potter!” Flitwick scolded a breathlessly James as the boy opened the door of the Charms classroom after clearly running through the hallways trying to make it to class in time.

“Sorry, Professor,” the boy answered, glancing around and noticing that the only available seat was next do Y/N L/N. He immediately rolled his eyes.

“Come along,” Flitwick motioned for James to come in. “We're experimenting with Nonverbal Spells today, we've already divided into pairs – you can sit next to Miss L/N and work with her.”

Knowing it was pointless to argue with the Professor, James nodded and dragged himself with a shuffling gait to the table he was assigned to, not bothering to hide his unpleasantness.

“Hi, Potter!” The girl teased, a wry smile on her lips, as James seated next to her. “Glad to see you’re feeling well! Heard you got a nasty food poisoning that took you off classes for the past three days.”

James’ face was immediately taken over by a profoundly annoyed frown, Y/N knew very well that she was the reason he had been unable to attend classes. “The only poisoning thing in this castle is you, darling.”

Y/N laughed and faked a pout at him before turning her attention back to Flitwick, who was explaining how the pairing would work in this specific lesson.

“For today’s lesson we’ll be using the Mending Charm!” Flitwick exclaimed excitedly. “This charm, as you know, repairs broken objects. You have a shrunken desk in front of you with four broken legs. Each one of you will be responsible to mend two of them and you’ll compete against your own pair. Let’s begin!”

The class hurriedly started to work on their legs, everyone eager to be the first to succeed. Y/N straightened herself in her seat and graciously grabbed her wand from the table.

“This is going to be a piece of cake!” She said cheerfully, purposefully wanting to annoy James.

“You think you can beat me, L/N?” The boy quirked a brow.

“I don’t think I can, I know so,” Y/N gave him a skewed smile.

James huffed in response whilst rolling his eyes. There was no way he was going to let her win.

Non-verbal spells were very difficult and required a good deal of practice, concentration and mental discipline, which made performing them successfully particularly even more difficult for teenagers. The entire class was noticeably having a hard time; even Lily Evans, who were one of the brightest students from their year, was looking like she was constipated due to the amount of effort she was putting into her attempts.

“You alright there, Potter?” Y/N asked sarcastically when she noticed a swelled vein popping on his forehead as he tried for the umpteenth time to repair the legs of the shrunken desk.

“Would you mind your own business? At least I’m trying to do something here, unlike you,” James hissed in response. “Have you given up already?”

Y/N just smiled wryly at him and turned her head to the little desk, flickering her wand. The two broken legs on her end clicked together and half of the desk was standing again, two of its legs perfectly fine.

“Look, everyone! Miss L/N successfully performed the first non-verbal spell in the class! Well done, Y/N!” Flitwick clapped his little hands excitedly.

“You were saying?” Y/N teased James with a triumphant look on her face.

“You obviously cheated!” The hazel-eyed boy spat in annoyance.

“Excuse you? It’s called talent; I don’t need to cheat to beat you!” She retorted, offended.

“Yeah, right! You used some non-verbal spell that we weren’t supposed to just so mine wouldn’t work, admit it!”

“Oh, sod off Potter! Stop being a sore loser!”

“Here we go again,” Marlene McKinnon sighed from her seat, rolling her eyes like the rest of the students.

Y/N and James engaged on a fiery argument for the short rest of the class, much to the amusement of Sirius and to the dismay of Flitwick and the majority of their classmates. The two Gryffindors seemingly missed the ring of the bell that announced the end of the class and also the students leaving the classroom one by one, as once again they were too wrapped on each other to be aware of their surroundings.

“Should we tell them the class is over?” Peter asked Flitwick unsurely, as they eyed Y/N and James from the Professor’s desk, Sirius and Remus with them.

Flitwick sighed, shaking his head in defeat. “No, let them be,” he answered, starting to walk away from the classroom and motioning for the boys to follow him.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The full moon wasn’t gentle in the slightest with Remus. He had a particularly rougher time last night and his whole body ached with deep, fresh scars. Clotted blood covered the scratches and cuts as he laid on a bed in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey had cleaned his scars and applied a potion to help with the pain and the healing process but the boy was still suffering nonetheless.

“How is he?” Y/N stormed in, asking no one in particular as she clutched into a piece of the bed curtains, frowning worriedly.

“Hey, Y/N/N. I’m ok,” Remus answered weakly with a smile on his face, trying to sit up.

“No, no, no! Stay still!” The Gryffindor girl hurried to stop him. “Godric, I was so worried! I was waiting for Sirius’ note to know if you were okay but it never came.”

“Sorry about that, he had a rough night and we couldn’t leave his side. This full moon was particularly hard on him,” Sirius apologized, rubbing her back gently as he tried to comfort her.

“Wait, does she know about Moony’s condition?” James scrunched his nose incredulously.

“Of course I do, you twat. He’s one of my closest friends,” Y/N glared at James with despise.

“Please, would you two behave yourselves and try not to fight this time? Your arguments are more painful than all of these scars combined,” Remus joked, groaning in pain as he tried to switch his position.

“Oh, come on, Moony! They’re quite fun to watch,” Sirius grinned lopsidedly, offering his hand to Remus so he could help him.

“I do agree myself,” Peter laughed, mockingly shrugging his shoulders and pouting.

Y/N rolled her eyes and waited until the boys were chatting distractedly before walking over to James, who stood a little further to them. She had a thoughtful expression and her brows were furrowed as she approached him, fiddling with her fingers furiously. James had been studying her every move curiously and noticed Y/N was uncommonly anxious, finding it strange that the overly confident girl was displaying such an unusual behaviour. The boy with unruly black hair widened his hazel eyes in shock when she suddenly leaned in the direction of his face, his figure becoming painfully aware of their proximity. An involuntary electrical current awakened his now tensed body whilst a lump started to take form in his throat, but James brushed the odd feeling with a quick shake of his head.

“What? I’m not going to bite you,” she grimaced impatiently at the flustered boy.

“Well, you leaned in out of the blue, I’m sorry if I was surprised!” He retorted with embarrassment, rubbing the back of his neck and hoping that the heat he felt on his cheeks didn’t mean he was blushing.

Y/N furrowed her brows at his response, but her features slowly relaxed and a playful smile took over her lips as his words sank in. “James Potter, did you think I was going to kiss you?” She quirked her brows amusedly as she teased him, crossing her arms across her chest. “Not even in your wildest dreams, sweetheart.”

“As if I would ever dream about you,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. “What do you want?” He asked in a cold and harsh tone of voice.

“We need to talk,” she said, once again looking anxious. Y/N grabbed his arm and dragged him to a distant bed, closing the curtains that surrounded it and turning around to face a very confused James.

“Have you ever heard of the Wolfsbane Potion?” Y/N almost spat the words as she fiddled with her fingers, gazing at the floor.

“Wolf what?” James frowned in confusion, tilting his head a little.

“Why doesn’t it surprise me?” Y/N rolled her eyes, the confidence seemingly returning to her snarky self. “The Wolfsbane Potion, it’s a relatively newly formulated potion that relieves, but does not cure, the symptoms of lycanthropy.” She explained, this time staring into James’ eyes.

“Meaning?” James shrugged crankily, crossing his arms across his chest. He had no idea what she meant discussing potions with him after a long and tiring full moon. Maybe this was a prank of some sort?

“Godric, are you really that daft?” She grimaced incredulously. “Meaning that the transformation wouldn’t be as nearly as painful for Remus as it currently is. This potion will allow him to hold on to his mental faculties after becoming Moony.”

“Hold on, are you telling me that Moony would be a werewolf but still think and behave like himself? That would be awesome! I didn’t know that it was possible!” James’ features lightened up. “He would finally stop beating himself up for things he can’t control.”

“Exactly!” She smirked, nodding excitedly. “He deserves that more than anyone I could ever think of.”

“For once I agree with you, L/N,” James winged his eyebrows, a lopsided grin on. “How do we brew this?”

“I’m sorry, we?” Y/N frowned, the smile slowly fading from her lips. “This potion could be extremely dangerous if incorrectly concocted so, I’m sorry, but your average Potions skills aren’t fit for this task.”

“Average?” The boy huffed, displeased. “And I suppose yours are?” He asked with despise.

“Precisely,” Y/N shrugged, the ends of her lips curling up in a wry smile. “I received an Exceeds Expectations in my O.W.L.s.”

“Oh, yeah, because you’re so much better than the rest of us plain mortals,” James sneered in a mean tone of voice, his face completely disgusted. “Tell me, is this potion even real or did you just thought it would be fun to prank me by using one of the people I care about the most to humiliate me?”

Y/N frowned in shock as her mouth fell open and James felt bad almost immediately, noticing the hurt clear in her y/e/c eyes. “Do you think I’d ever toy with Remus’ life like that? He is my best friend too you egocentric – arrogant twat!” She spat, pursing her lips and clenching her fists with a slow, disbelieving head shake.

“Look, I‘m- I’m sorry ok? I know you wouldn’t,” he heaved a sigh, massaging his forehead as he let his head fall into his hand. “How can I help?” He added after a few minutes of silence, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring into Y/N’s eyes.

“I’ll accept your apology, only because I’ll need you to help Remus,” Y/N said, lifting her chin up as she glared displeased at James. “First, we’ll have to enter the restricted section of the library.”

James nodded thoughtfully as the two of them unsurely eyed the other.