#I just have thoughts about them

[jenanigans1207]

“I did it to protect you, too, you know.” Rei says offhandedly one night as they stand over the couch, looking at Miri who has fallen asleep on top of a pile of blankets instead of under it, her hair a mess on the pillow below it. “Not just Miri.”

Kazuki looks over at him. “What?”

Rei gestures vaguely to his right arm, the one that hangs weak at his side most days, the one that still hurts him, phantom pains that have him wincing before he even realizes it. Kazuki often wonders if it’s a physical pain, or the pain of a memory lodged into his arm, locking his shoulder in place.

“I would’ve done it, even if Miri wasn’t around.” He says after the pause stretched on.

“You wouldn’t have had to do it without Miri.” Kazuki points out, turning his gaze back to their daughter as she shifts in her sleep.

He can feel Rei’s gaze on the side of his face. “It always would’ve come to this.” He says matter-of-factly, his voice quiet. Kazuki can feel the moment he shifts his gaze away. “It just would’ve taken longer without Miri. But my father didn’t want me to have any sentimentalities, any attachments. And Miri wasn’t my first attachment, you were.”

It’s a quiet confession, whispered in the middle of their messy family room, the moon hanging high in the sky. It’s a quiet confession, but it sneaks between Kazuki’s ribs, steals the breath from his lungs. He can’t stop his gaze from seeking Rei’s face in response to the words, can’t stop his heart from reaching out.

In the depths of the night, the quietness that fills the apartment when both Rei and Miri are asleep, Kazuki wonders if they could ever cross that last line to become a complete family in the eyes of society. Because Rei— Rei is Kazuki’s first attachment, too. And for a long time, he had been Kazuki’s strongest. But they had Miri now, and Kazuki knew that they would both put everything on the line for Miri, unfailingly and without hesitation. But he also knew that they would put everything on the line for each other, too. Because they love Miri, but they love each other, too, in a different way. A way that Kazuki has been trying not to acknowledge for some time now.

Kazuki opens his mouth to say something but no words come out.

Rei turns to meet his gaze and his expression is completely unguarded. It’s something Kazuki has never seen before and he feels his pulse in his throat as he looks at Rei. It’s not that Rei had ever been trying to keep Kazuki out, it had always been that Rei was trying to keep both of them out, trying to lock his history somewhere that neither of them had to look at it or acknowledge it. He didn’t want to remember it any more than he wanted Kazuki to learn about it. So seeing a vulnerable tilt to his lips, hearing the undertone of honesty in his words makes Kazuki feel like he needs to sit down.

“I didn’t—“ Rei starts, stops, shakes his head. He ruffles his hair and Kazuki notices that it’s getting long again. “I didn’t have anything. Before you. And everything that I have now that’s—“ Rei swallows and looks away. “Because of you.”

“So you’re saying you would’ve shot your arm for me?” Kazuki asks, breathless even to his own ears. “Would’ve told your father to shove it and never talk to you again?”

“Probably not in those exact words.” Rei huffs out a quiet laugh and it’s a sound Kazuki is still getting used to hearing— a sound he wants to treasure for the rest of his life. “But yeah.”

Kazuki feels like he can’t breathe, knows that he’s completely powerless to look away from Rei in this moment. There’s a series of emotions squeezing his lungs, his heart. He tries to lighten the mood. “Careful, man. That’s pretty romantic. Someone else might take that as a love confession.”

Rei shrugs, but his face is a little redder than before. “No more of a love confession than raising a daughter together.”

And, okay, but—

Kazuki’s brain screeches to a halt. Is that what’s going on here? He can’t deny that he likes when the other daycare moms talk about Rei and Kazuki gets to remind them that Rei is his, thank you very much. He likes being the husband of a totally legit, not at all fraudulent oil Baron. He likes the pictures they have taped to their fridge, finding Rei curled up around Miri as they both fell asleep.

And there was that one time—

“Wait.” Kazuki shakes his head to try and get his scrambled thoughts into some sort of order. “Wait, wait—“

Rei’s lips are tilted into a wry smile as he slides his hands into his pockets. “Waiting.”

“Are you saying—?” Kazuki turns to face him earnestly, reaching out to grab Rei gently by the shoulders to somehow connect them without hurting Rei. “This better not be a damn joke.”

“I just told you I’d have given up my entire life and future for you— just you.” Rei allows himself to be turned as Kazuki applies gentle pressure to his shoulders. “Do you need me to spell it out any more for you?”

“No,” Kazuki says as he tugs Rei forward, barely managing to mumble “I’m the brains of the operation, after all” before he’s kissing Rei.

There are a lot of things that Kazuki had always imagined for his life— a partner, a child, the mundane happiness of a messy house and a busy schedule. He had always wanted those things. And while this isn’t how he had ever imagined getting them, he wouldn’t trade them for anything.

He wanted to come home to Rei and his video games, Miri and her sticky cheeks. He wanted to watch Rei help Miri with homework, looking to Kazuki for help when he didn’t know how to do something. He wanted to argue over who did laundry and who’s day it was to cook dinner, listening to Miri chime in on who’s cooking she wanted that day. He wanted to fall asleep to Rei in bed beside him, finally feeling safe enough to stop sleeping in the bath tub, and waking up to Miri wedging her way into bed with them.

And he definitely wanted more of this— of Rei reaching for him, kissing him back, holding him gently. He wanted to see more of the inner workings of Rei’s heart and mind, wanted to help him heal the scars of his past.

This was not the life Kazuki had ever pictured, but he loved this life with every inch of his soul, every shadow in his heart. This was everything to him.

[perfectlyripeclementine]

calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.

[uncanny-tranny]

I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.

I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:

Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)

Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)

Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often

Eat dessert first

Celebrate well, and often

Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)

Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.

Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate

Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)

Walk without having a specific destination or goal

Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.

I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.

[octarineblues]

supporting communities & people impacted by the Southport attack and the far-right riots in the UK

here is a list of community fundraisers I found, starting with those aiming to support the Southport community after the appalling attack at a children dance party, to the fundraisers helping those affected by the subsequent racist and Islamophobic far-right/nazi riots

Edited on 5 August to include Middlesbrough fundraisers. Edited on 6 August to correct the link on the Books for Spellow Lane fundraiser, to adjust the name change for the Belfast fundraiser, and to adjust the wording in the second last paragraph.

Southport:

Southport Strong Together Appeal - organised by the community foundation for Merseyside, for those affected by the Southport knife attack

United for Southport families - the funds will be distributed among the nine families of the children who were at the party

Swifties for Southport - a fundraiser for the Alder Hey Children's charity, which supports the victims and the affected families, as well as first responders and clinicians. Extra funds will also support the wider Southport community

Fundraiser for the Southport Mosque - a fundraiser to aid rebuilding or possibly re-locating the Southport Mosque after the damages it suffered during the riots

Rebuilding Windsor Mini Mart - fundraiser to rebuild the locally-owned grocery store that was targeted during the attacks, broken into, and looted

Liverpool:

Fundraiser for the Spellow Hub - the Spellow Hub was broken into, looted and set on fire at night during the riots. The Spellow Hub is a newly created one-of-a-kind (in the UK) institution, which consists of a library as well as a community centre with a mission to help people get education and pathways to work

Books for Spellow Lane - another fundraiser for the library in the Spellow Hub, to replace the books and rebuild the library there edit: included the correct link

Hartlepool:

Fundraiser for the Nasir Mosque - the Nasir Mosque was attacked following Southport riots; this fundraiser is organised by Hartlepool citizens to help the mosque deal with the damages as well as to show appreciation for the role of the mosque in the community. edit: the funds will be also distributed to the local community!

Rebuilding the Farm Shop - the shop was targeted during the riots, and when the owner and his son tried to protect it, they were also violently attacked. The fundraiser is to help fix the damages to the store.

Sunderland:

help rebuild Citizens Advice Sunderland offices after arson - two of the Citizens Advice Sunderland offices were set on fire during the riots, and one of them is completely destroyed.

Hull:

Hull Help for Refugees - a local fundraiser to support the Hull Help for Refugees charity, the donated money will be re-distributed to community members affected by the riots

Fundraiser for Hull Help for Refugees and Welcome House in Hull - collected money will be donated to the two charities

Belfast:

help fix racially motivated damages - originally the fundraiser for the Sahara Shisha Cafe which was targeted by the far right in Belfast during the riots, now a fundraiser for all affected businesses in the area. edited to reflect the change of the name of the fundraiser to avoid any confusion

Middlesbrough:

Supporting residents after the riots - Middlesbrough has suffered so much during the riots, lots of businesses as well as just regular family homes were vandalised, had their windows smashed or even were broken into. This fundraiser wants to distribute the funds between affected people to help them fix the damages, and to generally support the local community. the newest fundraiser, imo potentially the most urgent one

Fundraiser for a Care worker's car which was set on fire - a car belonging to an employee of a care agency was set on fire during the riots while he was on shift at a care home.

If you want to donate locally but there is no fundraiser to support where you live, consider donating to your local charities oriented towards Muslim or PoC communities, or towards anti-racist and refugee organizations! And go support your local Muslim/Arab/Black/Asian/Refugee owned businesses!

If you have any information about other local fundraisers, feel free to add to the post or don't hesitate to let me know and I will add them here! We have seen so much hate in the past few days, we have to stay strong and keep supporting each other!

Stay safe everyone 💛

[rusty-lustful-fireflies]

I like thinking about how Blitzø and Stolas are compatible in their messed up ways, but there's one clear incompatibility between them, on ground on their unresolved traumas;

Blitzø has anger issues, overactive fight reaction

while Stolas has been verbally attacked & abused by Stella for at least 17 years

Stolas has avoidant issues, overactive flight reaction

while Blitzø has been abandoned and ignored by many people practically whole his life

So it fucks with their relationship.

In Ozzie's Stolas avoids confrontation, Blitzø feels he's ashamed of him and gets upset and aggressive after giving Stolas a lift.

Later in the series, Stolas texts less and ,,gives Blitzø space" which makes Blitzø worried that he's not wanted anymore. Then when he's offered the crystal, it triggers him, making him convinced completely that he's being abandoned again. He jokes rudely, Stolas feels he's mocked and so he leaves, which causes Blitzø to lash out, which causes Stolas to kick him out...

They really need to resolve their internal problems first in order to work out

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[pansy-picnics]

“gay son or thot daughter,” you start to ask, but you can’t even finish your sentence because cosmo and wanda heard “gay son” and immediately started cheering and clapping

[gerrykeay]

im not putting this post into words. beams into your mind The Parallels

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[shikisei]

ok stupid question my bad

[sabh0]

@///_bsd_edits on Instagram gave me the idea to draw that based on one Ueda and Kimisawa interaction

The thing ^

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

How much longer 'til your luck runs out?

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[ghosted-jazz]

I like to think breaking the canary curse via dying in the void had some effects on Lizzie

[lucabyte]

monologue

[momomallowart]

They deserve to have fun ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔっ✨

[plesiosaurys]

getting emotional over footage of an amateur scuba diver interacting with a coelacanth. they are hunted by large deepwater predators, and here comes a large creature bearing the brightest lights it's ever seen, making strange noises, but it does not shy away. it hovers, calmly, as the diver reaches out and trails a hand down its back. im strongly against the anthropomorphizing of real life animals but the stupid emotional part of me loudly insists this is because it recognizes us, the alternating movements of its four paired limbs matching the diver's four paired limbs, & it is thinking, "hello, cousins, we missed you these 66 million years, it's so good to see you again. welcome back, welcome home."

[lilislegacy]

piper: what’s a cute little thing that belongs to your partner and whenever you see it, it just reminds you that they’re yours

will, softly smiling: nico’s playing cards

nico: *trying not to blush*

leo: calypso’s threads. it comforts me to see them sitting on my table

calypso: *looking at him lovingly*

hazel, with heart eyes: frank’s bow. i always think of how handsome he looks when he shoots it

frank: *giving her heart eyes*

percy: annabeth’s fucking mile-long blonde hairs that i pull out of my buttcrack in the shower

annabeth: *evil cackling across the room*