#I just had to put my thoughts somewhere

[blackghostm2o]

Guess what time is it? The time for another shitty rambling session about PotO!!! YAYY!

Audience? Me

Phantom ramblings n.??? REALLY LONG YAPPING SESSION BEWARE!

This time it’s PotO at Trieste (I wonder if they’ll ever return to Italy T.T either that or I have to go to London, tho I’ve never been there so it would be nice in general. Also baffled by how many dates are there. Omfg!!!)

This is a non-replica/ reimagined so they do things a bit differently.

The costumes are almost all different, I do admit that I prefer the original ones. For example, the Phantom here doesn’t have his “m’lady” hat (the fedora), his vest is not black but white, the cape has a different cut, not ✨shiny✨ and has red insides. Or the dress in Hannibal doesn’t have the characteristic design with red and green, but it’s pale-blue.

Still talking about costumes, but moving specifically to the masquerade: SO… All the costumes are pretty simple, not as showy as the original ones, but (THO take this with a grain of salt) I think that they decided to take more inspiration from La Commedia dell’arte or at least more traditional costumes and also dances (at least in some parts), which is a really nice touch, so I prefer this choice. (Btw this year, if everything goes well, I’ll participate to one of those traditional ball for Carnevale, maybe I’ll return to this post to “confirm or deny” this statement). Interesting having a moment where Christine and Raoul are completely alone. The Red death’s costume is a bit sad… As other people said: “The Red death is Erik serving cunt.” And here it is SO PLAIN, but also pretty close to how Edgar Allan Poe describes it, a simple red tunic… So maybe they were going for that, idk. Tho him being surrounded by everyone and then vanishing, just to appear again next to Christine (who was “escorted” away by Raoul, being actually useful for once) for the “YOUR CHAINS ARE STILL MINE…” was cool af. Sad how Raoul and Moncharmin have a normal frac, but Firmin was a total slay with his pink dress.

At first I was: “Oh… No funky costume? :(“

Then lmao

This is the Red death btw

Btw I love the Don Juan costume here, it is really strange, but I adore it. Love the gaudy colors and the big ass hat, hahaha. Also during ponr I really really like how he starts to sing to Christine and we hear Piangi’s voice and then it transitions into the Phantom’s one, not the usual Piangi goes away and then Phantom immediately pops up. I wonder if they wanted to show him being able to perfectly mimic Piangi’s voice (so maybe being: “Well… He’s an amazing ventriloquist and his voice is capable of mesmerising people, he would totally pull this shit off”) OR to show the moment in which Christine understands that Don Juan is the Phantom. Another interesting thing is how the second unmasking goes here… Yes Christine gets his mask, but HE takes off the hat… Why? Was he too overwhelmed? Christine teases him a lot and goes for a kiss, which makes him flinch (fucking loved that) and looks a bit uncomfortable. Hmm…

Unmasking you say? Let’s talk about the first unmasking (I’m sorry, ik that this post is such a mess and I’m continually jumping instead of going in chronological order… But I can’t really help it). Hehe, I’m not a really big fan of how MotN has the Phantom mostly sitting while singing it, I do prefer when he’s moving around, teasing, being close to Christine… Don’t understand this change, honestly. The interesting thing (for me) is “Stranger than you dreamt it” (which also lives rent free in my head): here Erik (ik it’s not correct calling him like that, but it’s shorter and a bit more humane than PHANTOM) is not lost in his action of composing, BUT it’s not like the stupid restaged version that has him “Oh yeah! Let’s just do my make up while Christine is right there! OH YEAH! I’VE BEEN TOUCHED BY THE ONLY PERSON HERE LET’S JUST LOOK AT THEM WITHOUT THE MASK.” No, not like that. He stops composing and glances at her (a couple of times) starts again, as if trying to distract himself, but he can’t help himself so he completely stops and turns around not facing her and seeming so anxious about it : “Omg, she’s awake. What do I do???” While swinging a bit. She them sits next to him and he looks at her… Almost lost admiring her, so lost that he doesn’t realise that she’s going to take off his mask. A bit sad that they have cut him crawling on the ground, but God… Him rockin and being scared when Christine got close… Omfg…

I swear I’m really normal about his phantom, I SWEAR!

I don’t like how Christine wanted to throw herself off the opera house in the roof scene, I can’t really see Christine doing that.

Loved when they had Erik FUCKING SWINGING AROUND THE STAGE MADLY LAUGHING INSTEAD OF JUST HAVING HIS SHADOW!!! AND SWINGS ON THE CHANDELIER!!! HILARIOUS AF. CAT BEHAVIOUR.

Look at this mf

I wonder if it was a stunt double or not, hahaha. Seems fun to do tho.

Having Raoul shirtless in the final lair was totally unnecessary, pfft hahaha. I wonder how they went about it: “ Hmm… Yk… Fanservice has never hurt, we obviously cannot have the Phantom like that, but Raoul… He somehow has lost his shirt while trying to get to Christine!” “But sir-“ “Shush! People will enjoy this!” Jokes aside I like how he actually looks like he is getting chocked (them taking him above the ground) and how he briefly loses consciousness, leaving Christine and Erik trying to get him up (mostly Christine, Erik was like ”GO AWAY! LEAVE ME!” And I was thinking ”My man… At least help her a bit… The dude is massive, no way she could do it alone.”)

About the final lair there are some things that I prefer in the 25th (like the kiss! Ohh don’t get me started on it), but I do like how more aggressive he is here. Also here there’s him rocking like in the first unmasking, this swinging between violent fury and being in a moment of full weakness maybe after realising his actions? Or just being too overwhelmed by the whole situation, not knowing what to do… Everything not going as planned, not following any schemes. Idk, but I like it a lot.

The mechanic wings on Erik as the angel of death are smart and stupid at the same time, hahaha. They where just to show off, let’s be honest. Maybe a bit goofy.

I feel that there where added some small elements to crater more to an Italian audience? Like the “IDIOTI!” At the first rehearsal or Carlotta saying “Ah beh!” As the countess after saying “Pretence” ( pretty funny, ngl). I also liked how she and Piangi had a thick accent (ik that’s not unusual).

So yeah… Enjoyed it. Unfortunately the audio quality was quite horrible, but I’m glad that I could see this thx for a user here who jailbroke it (bless you).

Well… If you’ve read to this point, holy shit! Thx.

G’night :) <3

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo learns something about himself 🏳️‍⚧️

Based roughly on this old post.

Bonus:

[Leo is taking the fact that he was born biologically female simultaneously very well and also not so well but overall he’s mostly coping with the fact that it was Draxum that just essentially gave him the turtle equivalent of ‘The Talk’.]

[ingoodjesst]

have you put the pieces together yet, detective

[oshiawaseni]

Gonna write some meta about ch 431

After inferring Izuku could be by his side if he wanted to, and him indirectly telling Izuku he’s the standard he holds everyone to going unnoticed… it seems to me like Kacchan is releasing Izuku… for now. “If everyone is special then no one is special”… this kinda ties into what Shigaraki said to Katsuki for me. I get the impression that Kacchan believes in his core, that Izuku treats everyone special and Shigaraki had mistaken CYH for “extra special treatment” when, in Katsuki’s mind, loving and protective is really just how Izuku is to everyone.

The dig back at Kacchan for not thinking higher of himself or not noticing “obvious things” (Izuku’s feelings) is pretty sussy and very open to interpretation. It feels like they’re both not risking anything to explore the possibility for more. They’re mirroring each other’s hesitation.

This dynamic is basically inferred later, when Katsuki comments “peaceful idiots” at Kaminari and Jirou who are not taking a leap of faith to start a relationship themselves. “Lame losers” doesn’t really capture the nuance of Katsuki’s feelings towards himself and Izuku. Heiwa boke… two idiots not reflecting upon their obvious feelings for one another - all to keep a harmonious relationship describe bkdk to a T.

He’s projecting. Him and Izuku are also peaceful idiots with their dynamic too. So that’s why Katsuki let Izuku go. I’m sure a big part of him yearned for Izuku. Yearned he would turn around and not go to Ochaco. And that he’d realise Katsuki’s deepest feelings he holds tightly to his chest.

But Izuku won’t know who he is unless he fully experiences life and his feelings and what everyone and everything means to him. He needs context to understand who Ochaco and Katsuki really are to him. So Katsuki is showing a great maturity letting Izuku go. Also… Something something, if they come back again, they’re yours forever.

So my take away from all this is “They may be right for each other but that doesn’t mean they’re right for each other now” and these two peaceful idiots will surely get it together someday. Especially if Katsuki goes to those communication classes and they learn to understand each other better. 🤭

(Again, to me that’s Izuku wishing he could understand Kacchan’s subtleties and indirect way of talking better. They both have always sucked at truly understanding each other’s feelings for each other and finding a point of connection to act on those feelings.)

Kacchan is self aware of all of this. He has Izuku on a pedestal and feels he’s in an unrequited love. And since his apology, he has left the ball in Izuku’s court. It has to be Izuku to grow, to decide who he wants and who he wants to be. And Katsuki is okay with the cards falling where they may. And this, my friends… is unconditional love and why I loved this ship so much to begin with. He will always love Izuku and respect his choices and allow Izuku space for his internal growth. He’s a beautiful soul.

And in all that talk of destiny earlier, lies a certain knowing for us, that what is meant to be for them, will be. Bkdk for me is an inevitability and I think sensei did a good job to convey this to those who understand this immeasurable love and string of fate that runs between them. Bkdk have always existed in the realm of the unspoken, one just needs to open their heart to what’s really being said and implied underneath the surface. 🧡💚

[deoidesign]

Thinking about vampires, death, life, and the space they occupy in between

[canisalbus]

So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.

I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)

Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.

Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.

The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.

Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.

Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.

Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.

.

[taffywabbit]

"why not just make your own website?"

with the announcement of cohost's death and amidst all the other tumultuous shit currently going on with social media as a concept (i am AMAZED twitter has survived this long given the circumstances), one suggestion that i've been hearing a lot is "we should just go back to the good old days of personal websites. let's all just make neocities pages!!"

(this is gonna be a long one sorry)

and like. idk! it's certainly something i've considered, i think it would be a fun thing to have, but it also feels like the equivalent of "capitalism sucks so let's all just run off into the woods and live in a cabin outside of society" to me. like it would be nice, it would be fun, but it doesn't ultimately solve the actual problems that are present with the modern internet, it just evades them. more importantly in my case and many others, it does not really help people who rely on the modern internet and the connections they're able to make there for their income. sure i can make a website and host my art and blog posts there, but who's going to see it? i can't build a consistent audience and make a living off of random passersby who peek at my website once, say "huh, neat!" and MAYBE add it to an RSS feed or whatever if they really like it. there's minimal potential for meeting and impressing new people outside my existing circles if i don't ALSO still have some manner of social media platform to promote the website on.

a lot of the "solutions" i see people proposing for the slow, painful decline of social media as a user experience keep coming back to old-fashioned, more isolated/insular systems. we miss forums, we miss personal webpages, we miss newsletters, etc etc. but like... those things were ideal in the "old web" because the old web was more about sharing hobbies and interests with whoever happened to pass by and check them out, and even just USING the internet was a niche hobby in and of itself for a lot of people. if you wanna be kinda cynical about it (and not unjustifiably so), web 2.0 is much more blatantly business-oriented, and its algorithms and carefully crafted UX's are primarily meant to funnel you towards viewing ads and spending money on products. looking at it that way, it sure does suck and Everything Was Better Before! but the modern web is ALSO more powerful than anything before it for just like. connecting people. spreading information and news. showing your art/music/writing/thoughts/etc to strangers who never knew you existed an hour ago. putting the tools to reach out to someone and tell them you think they're cool right there on the same website where their art is hosted, just a comment or a message away.

if you're able to avoid patterns of engagement-bait and obsessing over follower counts as a measure of self-worth (a big "if", i realize, but i view it like installing an adblocker - it's just kind of a basic prerequisite for modern internet safety and survival), a lot of these systems can genuinely be really positive and life-changing in ways that were simply not possible 20 years ago! almost all of my current closest friends are people I met through sharing our art on platforms like Twitter who were complete strangers at the time. all of the art clients that regularly pay my bills and support my work came from places like that too! the "social" part of "social media" is really what makes it ultimately worth keeping around in any form, and makes the pursuit of a Good social media platform still valuable.

there's a lot to love about the old web - its aesthetics, simplicity and freedom for personal expression - but every time someone says "just delete your socials and make a personal website" i am forced to confront the fact that i could never do what i currently do or be the person i am on the old web. if i was stuck hanging out in my own little space and only ever interacting with people who openly and loudly share my interests, i couldn't support myself with art full-time, i probably would never have met the kind and quiet strangers who are now my best friends and have made me who i am, and i'd just generally get a lot less insight into the vast range of experiences and perspectives that exist outside of my own. my life would be on a fundamentally different trajectory in countless ways without the advent of web 2.0.

and that's not to say "well twitter and facebook and tumblr all suck but you kinda still have to hand it to them" cuz you don't, obviously. they're corporations, and their job is to take the personalities and thoughts and art of the people who use their products and try to scrunch it all into something uninform and marketable that generates profit and pleases their shareholders. but like, you CAN still make a good thing out of them! these websites are tools just as much as geocities or myspace or IRC used to be. and the one thing these newer tools are pretty much all REALLY good at is discoverability. if you're just a hobbyist at the things you wanna share on the internet, then you likely don't have a lot of use for those tools, and perhaps you WOULD genuinely be happier just keeping a personal blog site or hanging out in private groupchats or sticking to specialized federated Mastodon instances or whatever. it just isn't feasible for me, and there are a LOT of people in my same situation. my entire industry of online freelance artists barely existed 20 years ago, and the web culture of that era is largely incompatible with my continued survival in the mid-2020s. i would LOVE to run off and live in the woods in concept, but all my survival skills are adapted for city living and i would just eat the wrong berry and die out there. i want- i NEED people to try and improve the spaces we're in, and support better forms of social media (like what cohost was trying and largely succeeding to do!) instead of just complaining that it all sucks, everything was better when we were kids, and digging ourselves little holes to hide in. much like all the other problems and frustrations and systemic issues of the world we live in, the modern web isn't going to go away if you just ignore it, so we may as well try to make it better for everyone.

anyways tl;dr i probably WILL make a neocities at some point. it could be fun, even if it doesn't help my career stability or whatever. but i do also need ALL THE SOCIAL PLATFORMS I USE FOR MY JOB TO STOP EXPLODING PRETTY PLEASE, and failing that, some actual half-decent alternatives that aren't going to fizzle out in a month would also be great thanks ✌

[lover-of-mine]

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[goodobservationshirley]

[rustyelias]

Louis and photography

“Oh wrestling time to the ground, staring it into submission. Holding it your hand. I was there. This occurred.” - Louis

Louis uses two cameras during season two a rolleiflex and a lecia both were the go-to cameras for photographers of the time! Speaking of the time period! post-war Paris is my personal speciality when it comes to film photography!!!

I think it's pretty clear that Louis's photos are based on brassaï works, night photography in Paris was brassaï thing! Both his and Louis's photos show us things the night reveals to us whilst feeling mysterious and intimate. The photos of the young men who armand fed on afterwards feels very brassaï other then the vampire thing (another really cool post by someone on brassai and iwtv)

“Night does not show things, it suggests them. It disturbes and surprises us with its strangeness. It liberates forces within us which are dominated by our reason during the daytime” - brassaï

”Then you can get mindful about it. Ask yourself what brought them here. What brought you here. Is it coming together random?” - Louis

okay so in ep4 when Louis is talking with the art dealer the guy makes a big deal of Louis always shooting at night! and yeah as a night photographer myself it's hard to get right which I think we see in Louis photos!

“Do you know how many great shots I've taken, only to find out the lighting was insufficient” - Louis ep4. big mood!!!

night photography is very alluring in nature and takes so much time. Film make you slow down and think before clicking the shutter release but doing it at night takes even more time!! a vampire who literally has forever is taking night photos will always be incredible to me

Okay, I think I need to mention the humanist movement and how it links with Louis! Post war there was a massive increase in street photography which focused on more positive themes. Louis speaks very positively of the idea of Paris rebuilding itself at the beginning of the series and the progression to him taking street at night is super interesting to me! Because he really does sound like a humanist photographer like Willy Ronis or Robert Doisneau when he speaks to Claudia about Paris

“I don't know a suprise maybe. Something off. Like a hat that's to small for a head or someone realising they forgot to do something and they stop” - Louis

“To me, photography is the simultaneous recognition in a fraction of a second, of the significance of an event.” – Henri Cartier-Bresson

“It says paris is on the way back. give here a little time” -Louis

The vampire is watching humanity from close up, close enough to capture it but far enough away to always feel on the edge of it all. I also really like how Louis is clearly annoyed in ep4 about the fact he has to shoot at night! he doesn't want to sit around waiting for the decisive moment or meter the lighting which is so relatable!!!

[fictionadventurer]

I keep thinking about Lewis' review of The Hobbit, because he claimed that the main thing contemporary reviewers compared it to was Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. Was fantasy in that poor of a state that Alice was the closest thing they could think of? Comparing that chaotic fever dream to Tolkien's intricately crafted world? Lewis does specify that the comparison is that both books are by an "Oxford professor at play", but they're otherwise so different that putting the two in the same category baffles me.

[delusionalbitchinthehouse]

Swiss hurt/comfort because I love him. So, so much. Featuring Dew being the absolute best.

It's a peculiar feeling, being the only multi ghoul in the Ministry. Sure, there are some who come close, like three-elemental hybrid Aurora, but Swiss remains, to this day, the only ghoul to detain control of all five elements. Well. "Control" might be a strong word.

He is good with fire, has always been drawn to this element specifically. Quickly started hanging out with the fire ghoul bunch after his summoning, feeling like he might fit in best with them. He is good, yes, but no more than that. Good. Average good. Nothing like the effortless and precise mastery of the element displayed by the fire ghouls.

Air comes relatively easily to Swiss. He has Cumulus and Cirrus to thank for that. Summoned at the same time as them, he remains very close to the girls, and spent countless afternoon practicing with them, learning how to weave breezes and gusts of wind, earning countless praises and kisses whenever he made progress. Still, Swiss has none of the girls' grace or range when it comes to manipulating their common element.

Surprisingly, he is quite good with quintessence as well. Quintessence, this mysterious, elusive element that's known to be so hard to control, somehow doesn't give Swiss as much troubles as he'd expected. In Aether's opinion, it might be that Swiss is so very curious of people, his mind craving connection, which would encourage the spark of quintessence within his grasp. But of course, because there always is a "but", Swiss is far from fully in control of it. He would never try what Aether successfully does to calm pain, soothe nerves or various other things.

When it comes to water...well. Swiss can, with a lot of focus, fuck around with weak currents, direct some droplets to splash someone in the face, or even, thanks to Rain's patient efforts, developpe small gills which allow him to breath semi-decently underneath the surface of the lake, but that's about it. Swiss, as much as he sometimes wishes he could, will never slink through the currents with the water ghouls' elegancy, silent and blending in so very well with their element.

Which leaves earth. Ah, earth. Swiss can feel it, the thrumming under his skin whenever he's surrounded by the element, in the forest guarding the Ministry's grounds or even Primo's beautiful rose garden. Yet Swiss can barely access to that power keeping itself just out of grasp, almost as if it was taunting him. No amount of time spent in the greenhouses helping Mountain, listening to his advice or copying his careful gestures can change that. But Swiss knows it's there, can feel it, and, on rare occasions, has his suspicions confirmed when flowers sprouts around his horns after being subjected to especially intense emotions.

So that is what Swiss is. Jack of all trades, master of none. And it gets to him, sometimes. He knows, realistically speaking, that people like him. That the Clergy sees him as a blessing, the Siblings are irresistibly drawn to him, that the ghouls are all over him. And yet, sometimes, he cannot help but feel like an outsider, a freak, something that shouldn't be, or at least shouldn't be that way.

It's often Dew who notices first when Swiss starts spiralling that way. Everyone always underestimates how perceptive and attentive to others the fire ghoul is, but Swiss has been on the receiving end of his quiet comfort enough times to know Dew cares, a lot. And somehow, when Swiss is overwhelmed by the objectively speaking irrationnal feeling of not belonging, Dew always manages to reassure him.

Maybe it's because the fire ghoul remembers his water days, when he struggled to connect with his element and felt like a disappointment, even with Mist always fiercely supporting him and expressing her pride in what Dew grew to become. In any case, he always find the words to appease Swiss, or, when words aren't what he needs, what to do to make him feel better.

A hand slipping in Swiss', an arm slung around his shoulders. A press of forehead against his, a cheeky kiss at the corner of his mouth. Sometimes, understanding that all Swiss needs is to be smothered with affection, Dew simply throws himself at the multi ghoul and wrestles him onto his back with surprising strenght before calling for a cuddle pile.

It's harder to feel like an outsider when your packmates are all purring and making happy noises on top of you.

[biscuitscheesebiscuits]

Reading physical copies of The Queen's Thief series for the first time and realizing that the maps in them are inconsistent???

[miniagula]

movie sonadow would be so l umity-coded…and i say this bc their dynamic is similar to the games but with a different and tender perspective: they both empathize deeply with each other now, and this shadow is not as reticent or closed off bc of that. that being said: movie!sonic would ABSOLUTELY 'YOU'RE the sweet potato!' the hell out of shadow

[my-catsface]

When Minecraft first added horses, my brother and I dropped everything we were doing to play it.

We booted up the Xbox, opened a new world, and I waited diligently for his controller to pair for split screen. When it finally did, we set to work building the shittiest, ugliest, most lopsided stable ever. We didn’t add beds, because it wasn’t a house. It was a stable, we knew that. But we added stalls for the horses and an outside area, because of course, the horses should have sunlight.

When we found out they could jump over blocks and run faster than other horses, we set out to make the most elaborate obstacle course we could imagine. We raced against each other over and over again, using different horses and different rules until we were finally bored, hours later.

This post is going to be exactly what you’d expect. I am generally not a person who devotes lots of time to stuff like this. Other people have said better things about the quality of the Minecraft movie trailer (why is everyone backlit?), or how it doesn’t make sense (why are all those piglins normal in the overworld? Why are they even attacking?), and others have already shared their personal thoughts like I’m about to do.

But I have memories and experiences that belong to me, and I want to put them somewhere. I’m aware this won’t reach very far, it won’t change anyone’s mind, and it isn’t exactly full of revolutionary takes. But it’s mine, and I need to say it. And here seems as fine a place as any.

The only game my brother and I ever really played with each other was Minecraft. We’re about as different as you can imagine, with different interests and different ideas. But when we were both much much younger, we loved to play Minecraft together. Of course, that makes sense! Being young kids, we didn’t exactly have an allowance to spend, so our gaming options were in the hands of our parents. They didn’t agree on much, but each of them knew what Minecraft was. They knew it was safe, and they knew it was something we could share (IE: they didn’t have to buy twice), and so it was added to our collection.

And because we had no one else to play with but one another, and nothing else we could really play together, it was always Minecraft we turned to. Different as we were (to the point there are jests between us about being swapped for someone else at the hospital (my money’s on him)) we could find common ground on the same game. I liked to play creative and build houses, but he liked to mine and thought creative was cheating. To compromise, we turned keep inventory on and he would collect materials so I could build our house. We didn’t even know there was a wither. We didn’t even know there was an ender dragon. When we finally finished a house, the game was over for us.

But we would always come back to it. Always build a new house, maybe in the desert or underground. Always rush to our Xbox to play a new update until we were properly bored again.

Eventually, we learned there were worlds built FOR us. It started simple; we found a Christmas map with a giant tree and a massive workshop, and marveled at how beautiful the world was. But of course, there was already a giant house built, so what was there for us to do? We couldn’t built one here, it might ruin all the other houses. Ah, of course! We’ll just live in this one, we thought. So we mob proofed as much as we could, and explored a place we couldn’t even begin to comprehend was made in Minecraft of all places.

Eventually, when we explored it all, we wondered what to do again. We couldn’t just exit and start a new world, we’d just be going back to the exact same place. So we made a story.

He was supposed to be an elf. But he had a frog skin so he couldn’t be an elf. He had to be a winter frog. It made no sense, but it didn’t have to. I was supposed to protect all the “reindeer” because otherwise the winter frog (who we decided was very mischievous) would release them. Naturally, I, armed with a blaze rod (the only thing that could melt the winter frog), would search up and down the place as he would jealously hide his part of the screen, and when I found him, I would hit him. When he made it to the roof of our giant house, he would declare he had won, set off as much tnt as he could, and then we would have to load a new world to play it all again.

I look back on that story, and I think it’s stupid. I think it’s probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done, and as a self-acclaimed writer, I should be ashamed. I’m not. It’s stupid, and it’s childish, and I was a stupid child when I played it. But more importantly I was a stupid child having fun with my stupid brother in our stupid game. And we loved every minute of it. I’m not ashamed of it because it’s nostalgic, because it’s a memory of joy that I hold as close to my heart as I can.

Only a few years later, when my brother and I could finally play on separate systems, we discovered the ender dragon and the wither. Maybe we knew about them before, but we had never beaten any kind of boss before and we were under the impression that those sorts of things were much too hard for us.

So when my brother came to me with a radical idea to beat those bosses, I was doubtful and so… excited. What if we DID beat them? What if we beat a DRAGON? I was instantly in. He had a plan, but he wanted backup, and of course we were each other’s number one choice. Thick and thin. Still are, I suppose, but back then we didn’t realize we could stand up without always making sure the other wasn’t actively falling down.

He agreed we needed creative mode for this. He said it would be hard, but he knew what to do, so for the first time we should use creative mode to get all the items we would need. Nobody ever wants to work something up in their head and then have it all fail in the end, so we made sure it wouldn’t.

I manually enchanted our sets of armor, our diamond swords, our bows. I stacked our gear neatly away with as many “super gold apples” that could feasibly fit in a chest, and declared us ready. We each took our gear, and set off towards… the nether. We could get blaze rods from the inventory easily, we knew that, but we were excited to test out our new gear. We never had a reason to enchant before, so how exciting would it be to test everything out? I discovered my favorite enchantment in the entire game was fire aspect.

When we got our rods (and our pearls) we put them together and shot an eye of ender into the air. We diligently followed the trail we were making on foot (because that was just how you did these sorts of things), and when night fell we didn’t just sleep or skip it. We pulled out wool, made some honestly really ugly tents, and put our beds under those. When we woke up, we left our tents there and kept moving.

The thought was that anyone else who had this world after us would find the tents and be able to use them. We had a pretty rudimentary (and quite incorrect) idea of how Minecraft world seeds worked at the time.

Eventually, we got to the spot where all the eyes stopped. My brother dug down. I jumped in the hole he was digging, but he made it pretty clear that I had to stand in the corner of the space or he’d hit me with his enchanted pickaxe and not be sorry about it.

The fortress was a maze. It was dark and there were mobs everywhere and it looked like a glitch of a structure. But we never gave up. We knew what was waiting for us at the end (pun quite intended). When I found the library, I walked right through it and kept moving (for what use are books to a soon-to-be-dragonslayer), and when I found the portal, I called my brother’s name over the shittiest microphone the world had ever produced, and teleported him over.

He set to work on filling the portal, and I set to work on dealing with the annoying silverfish. A spawner destroyed and a gate created, we readied ourselves. We didn’t place beds down because we didn’t expect to lose, and we didn’t jump in right away, because we didn’t expect to win. Eventually, one of us worked up the nerve.

The end, as many of you know, is an odd place. It is light stone and it is dark skies. It is filled with pillars that aren’t buildings and there is an alter of a stone that cannot (ordinarily) be broken. We knew what the end looked like. We thought it was something new to be there.

I remember staring off into the distance. I remember mentioning how small the end was, considering we had treked at least twenty times its size in the nether and the overworld combined just to get there. I also remember how panicked my brother was at the realization there were endermen LITTERING the place that you were absolutely not allowed to look at.

After dealing with the endermen my brother looked at, we were finally ready for the real fight. We heard the dragon when we got there, we could see it fly in and out, we were very aware of its healthbar looming ominously at the top of the screen. But we knew the dragon had to wait, too.

We aimed, missed, then aimed again at countless pillars until we saw the satisfying explosion signal our first few victories in the war. We knew the ones in cages had to be handled differently, though. We had to march up there and take them out ourselves. The only issue? I forgot to pack blocks. We had stacks of golden apples and tons of junk picked up on the way, but we had thrown most of what we got away in the lava under the portal to clean our inventories.

So, mid fight, we mined. Tunneling underground to avoid the wrath of the dragon, we mined until we each had a stack of end stone (because that would surely be enough), and then climbed. Once we reached the top of an obsidian pillar, we hacked away at the iron bars until the floating core was exposed to us. Without any hesitation, we would strike at one. As end crystals do, it would explode, and then it would throw us off of our platform.

Seeing as neither of us were particularly good at water bucket clutches (at the time we weren’t even aware that had a name), we simply fell to the ground, and let our enchantments eat the damage. It felt powerful. The same blow and the same height that would easily kill us before were nothing to us now.

When all of the crystals were gone, we turned to the dragon. It had seemed almost passively disinterested in us as we struck at its crystals, but we were sure it would be mad once we took out the final one. Instead, I thought it was scared. It ran away constantly and never stayed in one place for too long. That made sense to me. That was good game design. Of course it was scared, there was no chance it could beat us. There were two of us, one of it, (hundreds of useless endermen minions) and no way back.

I don’t remember who got the final hit. I guess it didn’t matter. It’s not like there was an achievement to tell us with all of the creative we had slipped in and out of (but never for the final fight). What mattered was we had done it. We won. An achievement that’s so lackluster today it means almost nothing. But to two kids with terrible headsets and elementary school the next day, it was everything we had hoped for. The dragon went down easily. Not because the boss fight was easy, no, it went down easily because we were that skilled at it. It wasn’t a bad fight, it was exhilarating.

We looked up how to collect the egg. We knew you could do it, we just didn’t know how. My brother clicked on it a few times, and it teleported enough for us to realize we were doing it wrong. With the fight over, we agreed creative was fair game again. I dug a big underneath the egg as my brother supervised up top to make sure it wouldn’t teleport away if we didn’t both look at it. I placed a red stone torch two blocks underneath the egg, and then mined up.

It fell with grace. The moment it landed on the torch, it popped away and slid into my inventory. Excitedly, I flew up and dropped it to him, then pulled a NEW egg out of the creative inventory for me. One for him and one for me. We both got one, because we both did the fight. Not our fault the game only tried to give us one.

We jumped into the portal after. At the same time, just like how we entered the strange realm in the first place. That was my first experience with the ending story. The message from two strangers to me, the player. Me, who explored this world, sure, but countless other worlds like it. Me who knew all the crafting recipes by heart and knew rotten flesh would always give you hunger but raw chicken would only give it sometimes.

I love story games. I did then, and I do now. I love when something makes me feel some way, when something carves its place into me and establishes itself as important. I think Minecraft did that long before I experienced its “end,” but I think that was the moment I realized I loved this game. It felt like everything I had done meant something, every action culminated into where I was there and then. I also thought, when it concluded, that my brother—who preferred action and fighting to stories (yet another difference between us)—would have skipped the ending of the game for being cheesy.

He didn’t.

When my brother and I could buy (with permission) a world from the Minecraft store, we would have to agree on what it was. The first one we bought was the Greek mashup pack, because he loved the hydra skin and I loved the harpy one (it added WINGS, what wasn’t to love about wings in Minecraft?) and we both loved greek mythology. Not that we were well versed in it, of course. When we loaded that world up, we experienced that Christmas one all over again. Years on, and it was the same feeling. There was a beautiful new world for us to explore, there was beautiful MUSIC we had never heard before, and there were countless hidden secrets we could find.

But we eventually ran into the same problem. We couldn’t build a house, there were already houses here! We couldn’t fight the enderdragon, it would mean leaving this place behind and that would just be pointless. Besides, we had done that already.

So, eventually, we made another story.

I won’t go into detail about this one, but you can imagine it was about the same as before. We made up something dumb, and played our hearts away following it.

I am not a kid anymore. I am not easily blown away by the ocean monument or amazed that the moon changes form in game. I don’t laugh aloud when a villager “hrrs” or burst into tears when I lose all of my stuff in a cave.

I dont think the stories I made with my brother over Minecraft are anything important. But that’s not what my point is. None of this is really what my point is.

My stories weren’t good, but that doesn’t mean Minecraft can’t have a good story. In the early days of maps and pumpkin headed men and signs that told you where to go, there were countless wonderful stories. Hell, even now there are countless wonderful SMPs made by communities, and most of them are created for the express purpose of telling. A. Story.

And they’re beautiful. Some SMPs are only between friends (and perhaps they’re short lived sometimes), some SMPs are beloved by hundreds or thousands (or perhaps millions) of people.

Most SMPs inspire artists and animators and everything beyond and between to make things. Beautiful things, from the soul and the heart and the nostalgia of creating. They’re things made with love, for love. The Minecraft movie is made of money, for money.

The biggest argument FOR the Minecraft movie is that it’s meant for kids. I understand. I understand I am not its target audience, and if I am, then something has gone horribly wrong in the nostalgia bait department. But honestly? I don’t even think it’s marketed to kids. Kids arguably love a good story. I would know, I very much was one. I think it’s marketed to parents much like mine, who know the name Minecraft and know it’s safe and figure it’s a fun thing to take their kids to.

And I think that sucks. Because there could have been something better.

Minecraft is not a story game. It’s a sandbox. And the best part about a sandbox is that it can be anything you make of it—which means that, ironically enough, you can turn it into a story game. I think modders probably display that the best (the create mod would’ve blown my mind back then).

But that’s unrelated. The point is that Minecraft can be anything. But to make it into anything good, you have to really love it. You have to spend time developing what you want, be it your story, your resource pack, your mod, your challenge, your lovely world, your book(s), it doesn’t matter. You have to love whatever it is a lot, and you have to want to spend time on it to make it. Like I said before, the Minecraft movie was not made with love in mind. It was made with money there instead. I understand why. I understand every action that was taken for it, and I understand that it is not going to be a detective pikachu, a sonic, a Mario, or even a fnaf movie.

It’s just going to be another stereotypical “bad videogame” movie. And I think that’s a shame, because there could have been something beautiful there. There could have been something that makes someone sit in the theater with their brother and remember a horse race or a Christmas game or a valiant fight. There could have been something that reminded me a lot of when I had nothing to do but waste time with my favorite person in the world and build the ugliest house imaginable.

But there’s not. That’s okay. I understand. But I don’t want to see it. I love stories, and I love Minecraft, and I love the feeling of being a kid.

That movie will have none of that for me.