#I just had to force it!!!

[zo1nkss]

Ed x Stede adopting a pet together?

Anon u just made my whole day. I'm about to use my favorite fucking trope on Ed rn. I'm winning at life.

A Whisker Away

It's not that Ed was against the idea of getting a pet. He didn't dislike animals. But there were a lot of factors that went into having a pet on a moving vescel in the middle of the ocean.

Questions like how was it going to get enough exercise for an animal? Even the smallest of beasts deserved the freedom to roam as far as it wanted. And what if it couldn't swim or didn't like water? What if it hates boats, or get s sea sick a lot? Who's going to be responsible and clean up after it when it shits on the poop deck? ["No, Stede, that's not why it's called a poop deck."]

He also wasn't a huge fan of things that constantly demanded his attention. Sure he and Izzy had managed to get along for awhile, but that was before he made his choice of alliances and respect and loyalty very clear. But Izzy was a person who could talk and tell him what he wanted. Ed was terrible at guessing games. It's why his little attempt at mimicking the high life had gone so terribly. And animals needed so many things he wasn't privvy to.

But somehow, Stede had managed to convine him. The bastard sure had a way with words(and hands, and mouths, and tongues-) and knew just what to say to get Ed to cave.

"Oh, don't be so grumpy." Stede said from across the rom, where he lounged across their shared bed entertaining the small fuzzy creature. "He's so cute. How can you be mad at a face like this?" Ed glanced over with an indignant huff and rolled his eyes. Stede was looking at him in gleeful expectation, the tiny kitten hanging from his grasp and crying out softly as it looked across the room at Ed. Could it even see him, he wondered. BUt it wasn't the cat that had his chest clenching and heart softening. Oh, he was cute alright - but Stede was so completely enamored by the small thing that Ed couldn't help but thaw a little under his gaze. "Whatever," he dismissed, turning away if only to escape the pull of those eyes.

"Oh, just give him a chance darling." Stede's voice came from beside him then, and something cold and fuzzy pressed into Ed's cheek followed by the muffled cry of the kitten. "He's so sweet, you'll really love him. I'm sure of it." A loud crash sounded from up top and Stede cursed before placing the cat in Ed's lap and running off th make sure everything was okay, a half-frantic "Watch the cat!" tossed over his shoulder as the door closed behind him.

Ed, arms lifted and nose pinched in distaste as he looked down at the small inoffensive creature, sighed as it cried pathetically up at him. "Oh, give it a rest, will ya?" he said back, knowing it wouldn't understand a word he said. "I don't hate you, okay? I just don't know what I'm doing." It cried again and he reluctantly stroked it's head with his hand. The kitten semed to like that, so he rolled his eyes and let it have the attention it wanted.

And it was fine. You know. Nothing special. normal. Boring, even. Nothing good or bad, just-

"Hey, what's that you're doing?" Was it growling, or purring? The sound got louder and louder, until he could feel it through the hand stroking the cats head. "Oh-" it rubbed against his hand and Ed felt himself softening even more than before. The damned thing really was sweet, Stede wasn't lying. "Alright, I s'pose this isn't so bad."

The cat got comfrtable in his lap and Ed knew he was doomed. Stede would never let him hear the end of it. He'd put up such a fit about getting the cat and sulked all the way back to the ship. But it's adorable face and mellow demeanor had him absolutely endeared now, and Stede was going to be so fucking smug about it.

~

"You sure everything's alright, Roach?" Stede asked, lingering near the doorway.

"Yeah, man! Everything's great, it was just the pans, and you helped clean those up." With a shrug, Roach waved him off and Stede made his way back to the captain's quarters.

"Alright, I'm sorry for leaving you alone with the cat but Roach dropped some pots while cooking everyone dinner, and-" Stede stopped in his tracks when he took in the sight before him. Ed was sprawled out on their bed, arms and legs starfished and taking up the whole thing, with the kittin curled up and sleeing in the crook of his neck. The man himself was snoring loudly, but the cat didn't seem to mind. With a triumphant smirk, Stede reached over and pet the kitten but was rudely interrupted when Ed groaned and swatted his hand away, then rolled over and covered himself and the cat in blankets.

"Don't fuckin' make my cat up, mate." He said, curling up on his side and nuzzling what Ed presumed was the sleeping cat.

"Your cat?" Stede asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Excuse me, Captain, but I spent three weeks convincing you to let me bring that cat home and I will not be undermined on my own ship-"

"-our ship-"

"-like-" Stede cut off after he heard Ed's interjection, mouth agape but eyes alight with amusement. "Oh, suddenly it's our ship."

Ed hummed in response, a prideful sound in the back of his throat. "Our ship, my cat." he declared. "Don't worry, love, you'll get the hang of it."

"Oh, I'm going to get something, I'll tell you that much!" Stede said before tackling him quite clumsily. Ed simply let out a short laugh and rolled to keep the cat away from him, but in the comotion the only managed to wake the sleeping kitten and they both halted when it let out a grumbly little meow of disapproval.

"I think we just got scolded by a kitten." Ed commented, looking over at the annoyed cat in surprise.

"I would say we most certinly did." Stede agreed, brows raised as they both stared over at the glaring creature. "What do you say, truce?"

Ed looked over at the hand offered to him and considered shaking it. But at the last second, he snatched the kitten and ran off out of the room. "Edward!" Stede called as he took off running after him.

[mychemicalbrromance]

Guys ive been reading peak

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

It's just guys night talk! Don't worry about it!

(Read Tiger Tiger and shake this man awake so he can finish that thought!)

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[hmura-hmara]

Something about Luke being the spitting image of his father

[hinamie]

9 / 266

[egophiliac]

he did it! 🐍 and it only took...uhhh...well, there probably could've been less punches, but why hold back!

PUNCHES FOR EVERYONE

[arabella-s-arts]

Scenes/Things in Supernatural that genuinely don't make sense to me if Dean was straight:

The confession booth scene.

Sam just rolling with the fact that Dean's siren is a guy while still thinking sirens infect people through sex.

Dean being flustered by several men: Gunner Lawless, Aaron, Doctor Sexy, etc.

All the parallels between Destiel and other couples. (A big one being "last night on Earth" bc how do you do that accidentally.)

Having all the gay jokes be on Dean instead of Sam.

Paralleling Sam meeting his childhood celebrity crush with Dean meeting Gunner Lawless.

The boner Dean got when Cas cleaned up.

Dean gulping after Cas does an impression from a Western movie.

Charlie, a lesbian, calling Castiel "dreamy."

The way Mary looks at Dean and Cas when they hug.

Dean wondering why everyone assumes he's gay, while Sam not caring.

The logic that Charlie can't flirt with guys because she's only attracted to women, but then having Dean flirt with the guy for her.

Dean seeming disappointed when learning that Aaron's flirting was fake.

The amount of time Dean and Cas spend staring at each other.

Dean canonically having an orgy with Crowley.

A woman saying that she knows when someone's pining for someone else to Dean, just for us to learn that Dean was never in love with Amara.

The set design and script choices that lead to a cross in the background while Dean said "I do." to Cas after he came back to life.

That time when Dean wanted to say something and Cas was like, "It's okay, I heard your prayer." But Dean still looked like he wanted to say something important.

Amara: [about Dean] "I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel. Except, it’s cloaked in shame.”

If you want to have a more expansive list, @destiel-is-real-idgaf added to this one quite nicely.

[itsthislake]

“Icarus.”

it's all about freedom really

Credit goes to An Sifakah for the poem. Enjoy!

Support me on Ko-fi maybe?

[socialistexan]

I'm so tired of cis people asking stuff like, "Why would Texas want a list of trans people who legally changed their names?" or "Why would Florida want a list of college students who have seeking gender affirming care? We can't figure it out."

It's eliminationist.

Ken Paxton wants a list of trans people who have changed their name in Texas so he can reverse all of those decisions (and that's the most charitable interpretation). Ron DeSantis wants a list of college students who have sought affirming care so he can force them to detransition.

Oklahoma introduced a bill to forcibly detransition people under the age of 21 (ironically doing what they accuse us of doing, forcing someone to live as the wrong gender). Texas has a new bill that will ban gender affirming care for every Texan of any age and makes it a felony for doctors to provide it. Multiple states either have passed or will pass bills that will ban legal name changes. Some states have slipped in language to anti-drag bills (which are horrific enough on their own) that ban anyone from displaying, presenting, or dressing outside their "biological" gender (one state has language about "DNA gender") in public.

It's about legally and morally mandating trans people out of existence.

Plain and simple. It's about making sure that trans people can not exist. Period. It's not about restrictions, or "think of the children!" It's about eliminating us from public life and then eliminating us from private life so that we have a choice of either die or conform.

When will y'all realize this isn't some wedge issue or a political football that they'll just give up on if they lose an election or two. These are ideologues who are singularly focused. They don't care about the marketplace of ideas. They don't give a shit if they get mocked on lefty Twitter and the late night shows. They only care about one thing: gaining and then wielding power to achieve their goal of eliminating trans people (and then gay people, and then women who don't conform to their gender standards, ect).

If you give them that power they will use it.

[cheekinpermission]

Just another day of me wildly misinterpreting lines from the game

Here's how it played out in my head

Petition to let Epel eat what he wants. Someone mentioned an apple fritter. He deserves an apple fritter.

[calmbigdipper]

I believe Fugo and Trish would be besties in the most awkward way possible

[kettlefire]

Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)

Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.

Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.

Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.

A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.

It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.

The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.

No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?

That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.

They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.

And then it was all gone.

The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.

The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.

Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.

A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.

A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.

A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.

Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.

Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.

A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.

But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.

Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.

None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.

"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."

Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.

"Did that just-"

The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.

The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.

Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.

"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."

"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"

Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.

It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.

"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."

A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.

No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.

Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?

The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.

He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.

An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.

"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

[remxedmoon]

see?

everything’s fine.

(greyscale + extras below!!)

so! this was SUPPOSED to be a bonnie drawing. but for some reason i just Can’t draw bonnie to save my life today. and i needed to draw something simple to make myself less frustrated!! and by simple i mean this took me almost 3 hours and i had to redraw it because i didn’t like how the lineart turned out the first time!! oops!! at least it turned out cute🩶. and i got to play around with my textured brush!

also as a bonus, my terrible first attempt + the sketch!! that i apparently accidentally deleted at some point? so this is a screenshot from the timelapse. i dont know what happened to it…

[hinamie]

spiraling