#because admitting the truth will just shatter him
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There’s a very easy way to get around the fact that Assad is unable to pass for a teeenager if the show wants to adapt TVA and that’s to rely on the theme of unreliable narration. Armand begins retelling his history and according to him, he looked like he was in his early adulthood. No older than twenty four, for sure, but also not any younger than twenty. And then, just when the audience has bought it, just when this version of events has been presented as the truth for long enough, someone questions it. Asks if he really looked like that. Asks if he’s being honest with himself. And for the briefest moment, we flashback to Amadeo, the age he was when Marius first saw him. Beaten, shackled, afraid. And undeniably a child.
#allows you to have a TVA storyline where an age appropriate performer is acting it all out#since we CANNOT have Armand’s story portrayed by an actual child#but you just know Armand imagines himself as an adult. he blames himself. he was grown he had agency#but the truth is he was a child. a child who was abused and assaulted and forced to endure horror on horror#and this way you get the story AND the impact of ‘oh. you were a child. this happened to you and you were a child’#and you know he’s lying but this time it’s sympathetic to him. he lies because he has to#because admitting the truth will just shatter him#and I don’t think it should be Daniel to say ‘that’s not true. is it?’#(personally I think it should be Louis. who knows him so incredibly well. and that can be the place for forgiveness#for a reminder that Armand is horrible because of the horrors. and Louis accepting that and being properly let in for the first time.#77 years but only now and here is when I properly see you. and now we can love each other right.)#iwtv#interview with the vampire#Armand#tva#the vampire armand
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✶ BLOODY CRAWLING BACK TO YOU, AGAIN


in which... you thought you absolutely hated your co-worker, the insufferable Jeon Jungkook. but then you slept together, you avoided him—and now he's at your door. -—ᯓ✶ read part one ( here ) or not, this can also be a standalone !
pairing: jungkook x f!reader ✶ ( secret agents au ) word count: 9.5k content warning: smut ( mdni ) ✶ angst ✶ mentions of blood, cuts, bruises, fights, sex, and lots of cursing. a/n: if the first part was inspired by "do I wanna know", this one's all lana's version of "you can be the boss". I'd also like to sincerely thank everybody who read it, and especially the ones who took the time to leave such amazing feedback—this would still be a single oneshot if not for you. hope you like this one as much !
⋆ 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒒𝒖𝒐𝒓 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒍𝒊𝒑𝒔 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒅𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒔. 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒊𝒕 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈, 𝑰’𝒎 𝒃𝒆𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕, 𝑰 𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝑰 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒊𝒕...
𝒀𝒐𝒖’𝒅 𝒆𝒙𝒑𝒆𝒄𝒕 Jungkook to be pissed about it. And if he was, you’d have to admit he had a shred of right.
After all, you’d started it. Kissed him like you meant it, touched him like you owned him. Let him touch you like you were fragile and ruin you like you’d begged for it.
And then you left.
Crept out of his bed with first light spilling like confession over your bare skin. Not like a street cat, no—more like a coward. A traitor to your own hunger.
Because the truth? You were scared.
That night, you thought you were scratching an itch—one born from years of tension, of mission-night adrenaline, of too-close brushes and unspoken dares. You told yourself it wasn’t lust. That it wasn’t him.
But the lie collapsed the moment he slid into you, and your world sharpened to the shape of him. This wasn’t just hate, wasn’t just need—it was a burn, a bind. A dangerous craving with teeth. A tether you didn’t want, not with him.
Because if you stayed, if you let that moment become more than heat and fury, it might become something else entirely.
And that? That was terrifying.
Because how the hell could it work between you and Jungkook? You were field agents, ghosts in the night. Partners whose existence hinged on silence and steel. There was no room for this—not when death stalked you like a shadow, not when one blink could mean gone.
Or worse, it had meant nothing to him. Just a night. Just a slip. A mistake he'd wipe clean without a second thought.
You knew his reputation. The smirks in the breakroom. The trail of wreckage with red-lipped grins.
Before you could spiral further into that hellscape of doubt, a knock shattered your thoughts.
You blinked. Shit. Yoongi.
Your neighbor-slash-informant. Supposed to stop by with intel. Beer and greasy wings—your agreed-upon cover for the handoff. One you were supposed to go through with Jungkook. Supposed being the operable word.
You’d dodged every attempt he made to meet. Ghosted him. Not out of spite. Not out of professionalism.
But because being near him now? It felt like dancing barefoot on broken glass—beautiful and brutal and destined to bleed.
No way in hell you’d sit beside him in some surveillance van with his knee brushing yours. Or worse—straddle his bike again, chest to his back, arms tight around his waist like you had some right.
Besides, it had been reckless going to him that night. The remaining ghosts from the hard drive job were your cross to bear, not his. You couldn’t risk dragging your partner into your unfinished business. So you used the time to hunt, to try and rewind your thoughts to a time when your hatred was clean and easy.
You weren’t counting on Revenant assigning a new job three days later—blowing your cover and your plans. Recon was easy to duck, but you’d eventually have to face him. You knew that. You just needed time. Time to build armor again.
You yanked the door open. “Yoongi, I—”
And stopped breathing.
Jungkook.
Leaning against the frame like the devil come to collect, his black hair a mess, frustration stitched into every strand, mouth carved into a blade.
A sleeveless black t-shirt clung to him, flashing the edge of ribs and the brutal lines of his ink-laced arm. Heat shimmered at his throat. Those baggy jeans—anchored by a punk belt, the kind that made you think of things you shouldn’t.
His eyes—glazed and wild, sharp enough to slit open every lie you’d wrapped around your heart.
And you—idiot that you were—stepped right into it.
“Not Yoongi—whoever that is,” he rasped, voice rough and scorched, like he’d been yelling or drinking. Or both.
He shifted, revealing the beer pack in his hand. Bottles clinked like accusations. He didn’t wait for permission. Just brushed past you—his arm grazing yours like a dare. Like a scar reopening.
And gods, you hated the part of you that ached at the sight. That stupid, traitorous ache that whispered he fit here.
You shut the door slowly, as if trying to cage a hurricane. “Are you… are you okay?”
There were a dozen better things to say. Like How the hell do you know where I live?
But of course Jungkook knew. You were Revenant’s best tracker—but he came close second. Only best when it came to haunting you.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” he shot back, eyes glinting like broken mirrors.
You gestured at the bottles, pathetic.
He scoffed. “I can hold my liquor just fine, thanks.” But his gaze didn’t linger on you—it prowled your space like he was hunting ghosts. Like he was searching for signs you'd moved on.
You were suddenly, viciously aware of the worn band t-shirt clinging to your frame and the male boxer shorts riding up your thighs, rolled at your hips. No makeup. You looked like you would if he was coming back home to you. Which he wasn’t.
And he—he was a wrecking ball made of ink and silence.
“Why are you here, Jungkook?” Your voice was a whisper already bracing for pain.
This had to be it. His confrontation. His judgement. You running. You fucking him and leaving. Cowardice with a kiss. Like the stitches down your side, a reminder carved into you like art. Like consequence.
Or—worse and somehow better—he was here on Revenant’s orders. You’d been dancing on the edge these past two weeks, and you doubted he’d covered for you on callback day.
You were becoming a stray. And strays didn’t get mercy. They got leashes—or bullets.
But instead of a knife, he dropped the beers on your coffee table with a thud and turned.
“To work,” he said. “Thought I’d show up instead of waiting for you to.”
The guilt slithered up your throat like smoke. You took the hit without flinching.
Maybe you were being paranoid. A cocktail of no sleep and the weight of those men still hunting you. Of too many hours spent remembering the shape of Jungkook in your hands.
You weren’t being unprofessional, you inhaled as you reminded yourself.
You were still doing your job—tracking, reporting, filing notes. You just… needed space, while the field work wasn’t necessary. Distance. Needed to breathe. To exist in a room without drowning in him.
Without unraveling.
Jungkook reached into the six-pack and popped the cap off with a flick of his thumb, muscle memory smooth as murder. “Might as well drink while we sort this crap out,” he said, nodding to the files sprawled like landmines across your coffee table.
He called it crap. You could’ve laughed.
Revenant missions were never casual. They were shadows with knives, cover stories written in ash, warfare so deniable even your heartbeat lied. Blood-on-your-hands kind of work, buried intel with bodies. And the files between you now? They were preludes. Invitations to the next disaster.
You eyed the bottle like it was a loaded gun.
One rule left unbroken.
Don’t drink with him.
Because when walls thinned, and eventually came down—you knew what followed. Chaos. Heat. Want that left bruises.
And you were barely holding.
“Fine,” you muttered, grabbing one like it didn’t spell your undoing.
Another line blurred. The last one.
You ended up on the floor beside him, backs against the couch, knees brushing in the kind of proximity that shouldn't feel like drowning. Between you—snapshots of death, scribbled intel, faces frozen mid-breath. Your handwriting scratched across the margins like shrapnel.
War lived in your pen. Jungkook had always said that. Like he knew you wrote in rage.
The beer dulled the razor-edge of your posture, but not your perception. Not around him.
Jungkook wore calm like a disguise—like a bomb under a silk napkin. He exhaled cool detachment, but you could smell the lie on him along with the bourbon lurking on his breath. He was trying to be casual, but the effort showed in the curve of his jaw, in every brush of his leg against yours that never pulled back.
Every move was a push.
And you were breaking.
The tension between you snapped tighter, breath by breath. The air was too thick. Too still. One glance too long and you'd combust.
You reached for a grainy photo—light blown out, figure indistinct—and his fingers brushed yours. Featherlight. Incidental.
But it detonated something in your chest.
He didn’t look at you. Just took a swig like he hadn’t set you ablaze.
And you hated him for that. Hated the flex of his throat, the stark line of his jaw, the way his veins caught the light. That fucking light scar on his cheekbone. Hated the heat pooling in your palms, the part of you that screamed to crawl into his lap and burn all over again.
He was still Jungkook.
And you were still hopelessly tangled in the memory of that night.
His mouth on your throat, hands in your hair, breath whispering your name like a curse—those were not ghosts you could outrun.
Silence wrapped around you like a noose. He didn’t speak. Didn’t touch.
But he was there.
A shadow that never left.
Focus, goddammit.
You forced your eyes to the files, to the pattern you could solve with one hand tied behind your back. Easier than untangling the way his fingers tapped that bottle, like they ached for something else to press into.
He leaned forward, pulled a folder closer. Bit at the metal glint of his lip ring.
You seized the moment to snap yourself out of it. Your voice—measured, steady. Barely.
“That shot was taken two days before the drop. The guy in the background—you recognize him?”
“Mhm,” he said. “One of Choi’s henchmen. Shows up like mold. Slimier, too.”
You huffed, dry. “Perfect. Another one to track.”
He slid a page your way, fingers grazing your wrist longer than necessary. “This spot—see it?”
You did. The pattern was clear. The message clearer. “They’re circling back.”
“Exactly.” He leaned in, voice lower. “You’d think they’d learn. But rats don’t stop running into traps, do they?”
Your spine stiffened. You weren’t sure if he meant the target.
You weren’t sure he didn’t.
The space between you quivered. A standoff without a gun. It was a fragile balance—this cold war between you. The space where hate blurred into want. Where loyalty slipped its collar and curled up next to need.
You were staring at his eyes, trying hard not to dip them to his lips like he was watching yours.
But you cracked first—anything to break this spell he had you under. “Thought the superiors sent you to keep me in line, not drink and share a slumber party.”
His mouth twitched, slow and wicked. But there was heat behind it—undeniable.
He didn’t even look up. Just murmured, “Pretty sure you were supposed to leash me. But hey, who’s counting casualties?”
The words hit like a bullet—subtext woven through every syllable.
You didn’t answer.
Because you didn’t trust what would come out of your mouth.
Then—ding.
The doorbell split the air like a blade.
You stiffened. Instantaneous. A tripwire pulled in your spine.
Jungkook’s head snapped up at the same moment. His gaze cut from the door to you—catching everything. The flicker. The twitch you hadn’t meant to let show.
He didn’t ask. Didn’t need to.
He was already rising, fluid and dangerous, moving like the door was his to shield. Like you were.
And that—
That was what you couldn’t fucking stand.
You weren’t a damsel. Not a kept thing.
You didn’t need saving. You were his partner for fucks sake!
You moved fast. Intercepted him. Your palm met his chest—not harsh, but hard enough to stop.
Hard enough to remind him.
His body didn’t yield, but something behind his eyes shifted. That burn—low and dark—ignited again. The kind you didn’t dare name.
“You’re not my bodyguard,” you snapped, blade-edged, jaw locked.
His jaw clenched. The muscle under your hand tensed like it wanted to defy you. “No… I’m not.”
And there it was. That weightless second where neither of you moved, both too proud, too furious, too wired.
You knew his tells. He knew yours.
You pushed him just enough to block the door from his view, then yanked it open.
And there was Yoongi.
Leaning against the frame like the world owed him something and he planned to collect in charm. Hoodie half-zipped, eyes glittering with unbothered precision. A smirk pulled at his mouth like he knew he could get away with anything.
“Damn,” he said, low and deliberate, amusement bleeding into every syllable. “If I knew you were answering doors looking like that, I’d have brought dessert.”
His gaze trailed over you—lazy, unapologetic. From the defiance in your stare to the shirt clinging too well and the heat blooming in your throat. He drank it all in.
And for once, you didn’t bite back. Didn’t spit your usual venom. Because you felt Jungkook before you saw him.
His presence unfurled behind you like a stormcloud. Heavy. Electric. Half of his chest brushed your spine, his breath grazing your neck—hot and possessive. Not touching, but near enough to feel the warning in it.
Mine, it seemed to say.
Yoongi’s smirk faltered. Just a little. Just enough.
“And who’s this?” he asked, head tilting like it mattered.
You answered too fast, too sharp. “My partner. And you’re late.”
Yoongi’s brows ticked up, but he didn’t push. He just held out the chicken wings delivery bag, fingers loose, like he wasn’t dropping dynamite between two unstable elements. “Got the intel. Movement patterns. You’ll want to check the second location listed. It’s all inside, like always.” he pointed the packaging with his chin.
You reached for it, but Jungkook was faster.
He moved around you, body encaging yours like a wall of heat and intent, hand closing over the bag strap—over Yoongi’s fingers. Not hard. But pointed. Held it a beat too long.
A message without words: Back off.
Yoongi didn’t blink. Just arched a brow, amused. “Didn’t know you’d been having company.”
“Didn’t know I needed to check in with you about that,” you said, slicing your voice thin and cold. Ice over a fire.
Behind you, Jungkook went still.
Like you’d just lit a match and dropped it in gasoline.
Yoongi chuckled, stepping back, unbothered. But his gaze lingered—bouncing between you like he could read the unsaid. And maybe he could.
“Guess I’ll let you get back to… whatever this is,” he said, voice wry.
He lingered just long enough to grind his heel in it.
“I’ll be up in my apartment if you need me.”
The weight in his stare as he said it was intentional. You gave a small, polite smile—sharp-edged. Dismissive.
But Jungkook—through your periphery you saw the way his tongue pressed into his cheek like it was trying not to bite through.
Yoongi vanished into the hall.
The door shut behind him with a snap.
And then you turned.
You were on him before he could breathe.
A weapon unsheathed.
Your movement cut through the silence, quick and decisive, and just like that your chest was brushing his. Standing on the tip of your toes so your faces were just inches apart, eyes locked on the black pools in front of you. You could see everything—every flicker, every fracture.
“Do not make me check you.”
Jungkook’s eyes flared wide. But it wasn’t fear. No—what lived there was something hungrier. Darker. His breath shivered. His fists clenched.
He wanted to break something.
Or take you apart.
He was vibrating with restraint. With that desperate, wild thing that had clawed its way loose the moment you slipped out of his bed like a thief. He hadn’t gotten to chase you. To claim what you took with you.
Now? He was seconds from snapping.
“You had me once,” you whispered, venom-laced velvet. “Once. Not even long enough to piss and mark territory. Don’t forget that.”
Then you turned.
Cold. Precise. Beautifully cruel.
Like you hadn’t just sliced him open with your teeth.
You walked away with purpose, spine straight, blood roaring beneath still skin. Left him there in the ruins.
He didn’t follow.
Didn’t speak.
But you could feel him—rage coiled tight in his gut, heat rising like a fever. When you sank into the couch, you didn’t have to look to know he was gripping the air like it betrayed him.
“I shouldn't have come,” he muttered finally. “It was a mistake.”
His voice—low, scraped raw—crackled through the room like static. He stalked toward the table, dropped the delivery bag and snatched up his keys. His stride was all anger and ache.
But before he reached the door, your body moved without thought catching up.
“Wait—Just wait.”
Your hands lifted to your hair, dragging through with frustration. “We should talk about this. We’re partners, Jungkook. We can’t let one night get in the way of our work.”
He stopped like you’d shot him.
Tension rippled through his frame. When he turned to face you, it was slow. Dangerous.
“One night…” he repeated.
Voice like gravel. Like regret. As if it tasted like blood in his mouth.
“God, you must really hate me…” he huffed, the dimples appearing as he gnawed at his bottom lip. “Is that what it was for you? Just one night?”
And there it was.
The air between you thickened. Dense. Combustible.
Every breath you shared was a threat.
A challenge.
A lie neither of you could keep telling much longer.
Then—
Clang.
A metallic thud slammed through the stillness.
The fire stairwell.
Adrenaline sliced through the haze like a blade to the jugular.
The heat between you evaporated—consumed by instinct. No words, no delay. Just the clean, brutal snap of motion as both of you shifted gears like twin chambers firing. He pivoted. You dropped to the shoe bench near the front door, lifted it with practiced efficiency. Underneath—your weapon. And the spare you always kept, just in case. Just for him.
You tossed the Glock in his direction.
He caught it without looking—like your hand and his were parts of the same weapon, forged to work in tandem. His keys hit the ground, but neither of you so much as flinched.
This wasn’t chaos. This was code.
You and Jungkook moved like a language only your bodies remembered. Poetry written in violence. He stepped left as you went right. Breaths synced. Limbs mirrored.
Partners indeed. But not just that.
The stairwell door creaked again.
You moved into the hallway, silent as ghosts.
“One. Downstairs,” you murmured, voice razor-thin.
Jungkook nodded, just once. “They’re running scared.”
Then the chase detonated.
You sprinted down the concrete steps, the cold biting into your bare feet like punishment. Jungkook’s boots struck beside you, each step deliberate, brutal. Every movement between you practiced, precise, deadly.
You hit the garage’s lower level. Shadows clung to the corners like predators watching from the dark.
Jungkook’s hand snapped to your lower belly, half his fingers grazing bare skin beneath your t-shirt as he halted you. The touch seared, more dangerous than anything else in the room. Your breath hitched, traitorous.
Focus.
Ahead—a figure, caught mid-motion. The guy turned—saw you.
Recognition flared in Jungkook’s voice. “Guy from the photo. Snake tattoo.”
The man bolted.
Jungkook fired. The shot rang clean, ruthless. The SUV’s tire exploded before the target’s foot even left the ground. Rubber shrieked against pavement.
But it wasn’t over.
Two—no, three—more.
Armed. Unafraid.
Professionals.
“Split,” Jungkook muttered, low and lethal.
You peeled right, vanishing behind a beam. Gun raised. Heart hammering. Jungkook ghosted left—faster than light, heavier than wrath.
First one came at you with a crowbar, the arc whistling death.
You ducked the blow and fired—right into his thigh. His scream echoed off concrete. Another came behind him, bulletproof vest thick on his chest. Your second shot knocked him back but didn’t drop him.
You barely adjusted before Jungkook slammed into the guy, body to body, sheer force. The man hit a car hood with a sickening crunch.
You turned—
Too slow.
Another came in low, fast. Trained.
Fuck.
Your arm lifted, but his hand was already there, wrenching your wrist wide. Pain sparked. You fought back—knee snapping up, breath a growl—but his grip held.
And then you felt him.
Sudden, fierce. Jungkook’s hands on your waist, lifting, flipping you back over his hip. Your body hit the ground—hard.
But his body cushioned it.
Your breath stuttered.
He was under you. Hot and solid. Every muscle taut, every breath ragged. His fingers lingered too long just below your ribs, brushing over skin no one should be touching. Heat bloomed.
Time stopped.
“Show off,” you muttered, lifting your arm. You fired. The man dropped, clean.
“I like dramatic entrances,” he replied, his voice low and a promise, his eyes all flame.
Another guy emerged from the shadows, slipping behind a van with his gun already raised.
Jungkook moved instantly.
No hesitation, no question—just his body between yours and the threat, shielding you like instinct. The shot rang out, ricocheting off metal, too close. Jungkook didn’t flinch. He grabbed you and rolled you both behind the SUV’s bumper, one fluid movement, his arms tight around you.
Your hand clutched his bicep. His thigh wedged between your legs. His arm beneath your head. The concrete should have been cold, but all you felt was him—hot, tense, grounding.
Your heart thundered. His echoed it.
“Close one,” you breathed, shaken, eyes locking with his.
His breath washed over your lips. “You okay?”
“You’re on top of me.”
A slow grin tugged at his mouth. Dangerous. “Yeah. Not complaining.”
You shoved at him—but it lacked force. Like you needed to push him away before you did something worse.
Jesus. You were still on the clock.
You rolled to a crouch, nodded toward the final attacker. The heat in his gaze vanished. The smirk? Gone. He snapped back into mission mode like it was a second skin.
The last man bolted.
Jungkook pursued.
You followed.
Your heels slammed the concrete. Pain screamed up your legs, but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t. Your blood roared in your ears. Jungkook closed in first, tackled the guy without mercy, slamming him into a pillar so hard the echo cracked down the garage like thunder.
The man fought hard—rage in every limb, desperation in every move. Jungkook was still buzzed from the alcohol, still bleeding—but still stronger. You reached them in a blur. Drove your elbow into the guy’s spine. He dropped like a felled beast. Motionless.
You stood over the body, breath jagged. Heart roaring. Body trembling with more than just adrenaline.
Jungkook leaned against the pillar, bruised and split-lipped. Blood painted a line down the side of his face—sharp, bright, and brutal. It caught the light like a vow. He looked like a tornado just barely held in place.
“You’re bleeding,” you said, voice tighter than you meant.
“I’m fine.”
“You always say that.”
He looked at you. And for a beat—under the flickering garage lights—he wasn’t your enemy. Or a mistake made in a night, the one you’d run from. Or even just your partner.
He was everything you feared you wanted.
His chest heaved. Yours mirrored it.
And then he stepped closer.
You didn’t move.
“You hesitated,” he said quietly.
You blinked, thrown by the shift. “When?”
“When that cameo scumbag came at you. You looked at me first.”
Your jaw locked. “So?”
His gaze didn’t waver. He stepped closer until you could taste the bourbon on his breath. Blood and sweat clung to the air between you like incense in a burning church.
“So don’t,” he murmured. “Next time, just take the damn shot.”
Your spine stiffened. “You saying I can’t handle myself?”
That dangerous smirk flickered again. But this time, softer. Less weapon, more wound. He reached out—and his fingers brushed your jawline. Just barely. Just the edge of it—slow. Intentional. Reverent. As if memorizing the shape of your defiance.
“I’m saying I notice everything you do,” he rasped. “Especially when it’s for me.”
Your breath caught mid-throat. The confession gutted you more than his touch.
But before you could speak—
A grunt. Wet and gurgled.
One of the bodies on the ground wasn’t quite done dying. He writhed, breath rattling like a broken instrument.
You both turned.
Jungkook stepped back.
Not far. Not enough for the space to cool. Just enough to draw his pistol. Calm and quiet, his fingers wrapping around the grip like it belonged to him, like it knew the shape of him.
And he fired.
One shot. Final.
The silence that followed wasn’t empty—It throbbed.
It hit harder than the bullet. Not because of what he did. You’d both done worse. God knows you were past redemption.
But you stared. Not at the body. At him.
Because this?
This was different.
This was standing in the middle of the fire. Not running. Not denying. Just… burning.
“We—we need to deal with the bodies,” you said, but your voice sounded mechanical, hollow. You could feel the revelation of your feelings sending your body into shock. “If they trace this back here... I can't—The ones from the hard drive job, they’re still out there. I can’t risk—”
“Shut up.”
The words hit like a whip and you froze.
The bastard knew it. Knew your body, your mind like it was his.
“I got this,” Jungkook said, eyes gentle, steady, locking onto yours. “Take the guns. Check on your informant. I’ll be up in a few.”
Your mouth was dry. You couldn’t leave him, you needed—
“You’re hurt. Not to say drunk,” you bit out, more afraid than angry.
He gave a short laugh—lacking energy, his body was betraying him too. “I’ve had worse.”
You narrowed your eyes. “And yet.”
“I have contacts too, you know. I’ll burn the mess before anyone smells it. Go upstairs.” Then he looked at you again—really looked. And everything in you fractured.
“Trust me.”
And you did. You fucking did.
That was the real problem.
It wasn’t the blood or the mess or the ghosts that haunted you.
It was that.
You trusted him more than you feared what your feelings for him could do.
You’d checked on Yoongi.
Safe. No tail. Still smirking like the devil had given him his lines personally.
By the time you returned to the apartment, the sky had bled into ink—thick, suffocating. One of those nights that clings to your skin, whispers against your pulse. The kind that knows your secrets. The kind that feels sentient.
You’d been pacing ever since. Barefoot. Restless. Your heartbeat ticking like a landmine.
You kept glancing at the window without realizing. At the door. At your phone. Not checking it. Just… listening. As if some part of you knew the kind of mess Jungkook possibly walked into and hadn’t come back from. As if your body was betraying the fear your mouth refused to voice.
Then—
Three knocks.
Soft. Deliberate. One pause. Then two more.
His rhythm.
Always his.
You opened the door before your mind caught up. Like instinct had already laid out the red carpet for your ruin.
And there he was.
Relief hit you like a sharp exhale. Not loud. Not visible. But it bloomed in your chest like pain. You didn’t let it reach your face—didn’t dare. You still hadn’t decided what scared you more: the idea that something had happened to him… or the fact that you cared that deeply if it had.
Bruised. Bloodstained. Sweaty strands of dark hair plastered to his temple like shadows, eyes heavy-lidded and shining too dark in the hallway light. He looked like the aftermath of a war—and yet, you couldn’t look away.
“It’s sorted,” he said. “I identified two of them as Choi’s underdogs, but it’ll take a while to—”
You didn’t let him finish.
“Let me check that cut on your brow,” you said, already grabbing his wrist and pulling him inside. The door shut behind him with a quiet finality.
If something serious had happened, he would’ve led with it. Jungkook was nothing if not brutally efficient—he didn’t bury the lede. Which is exactly why, despite the wreckage on his skin, your focus stayed on him. Not the mission. Not yet.
He followed wordlessly. Heavy-footed. Letting you lead him toward the bathroom like he was tied to you by something ancient and binding.
You rummaged through the cabinet, refusing to look at his face too long, refusing to feel that heat that still hadn’t left your skin from earlier.
Behind you, he laughed—a lazy, low, lopsided sound. The kind that always came with trouble. The kind that curled into your belly and settled there, warm and invasive.
“Baby, it’s a tiny cut,” he drawled, voice syrupy and wrapped in alcohol. His eyes edged something like endearment through the mirror. “I just need a shower. Don’t worry about it.”
Baby.
That nickname again, cutting like a silk against bare skin. A reminder from that night together. A trigger. A temptation.
You turned.
Just in time to catch the sway in his stance. One shoulder slumped against the doorframe. His pupils were dilated. Lips slightly parted. And God, he looked feral—like want was eating him alive from the inside out.
“You’re too drunk,” you said, your voice low and clipped. “How much did you drink before coming here on your fucking bike like a lunatic—before continuing to drink?”
You glared at him, jaw tight. “And don’t even deny it. I saw the damn thing parked out there.”
He grinned, all teeth and danger—boyish and wicked. “Just a bit.”
You let out a short, bitter laugh. “You fucking—”
You moved before the thought even formed, your hand going straight to the exposed skin above his belt—where his shirt had ridden up. Palm flat. Skin too warm. Muscles tight beneath.
You shoved him back. A push that lingered too low. Too intimate.
He stiffened. But didn’t stop you, kept walking back.
His breath grew shallow. His eyes dropped—to your mouth. The air around you turned charged, electric.
“I told you I can hold my liquor,” he murmured, voice fraying at the edges. “I am holding it. Barely. I’ll admit that. But God, you—”
His hand hovered near your throat, clawed fingers curling just short of contact. Not grabbing. Just wanting.
But didn’t.
“You’re— Fuck.” he struggled.
Your knees nearly buckled. That memory—his hands on your throat, mouth on your skin—flared so bright you could taste it.
“You look at me like you want to kill me,” he said. Voice cracking on something too real. His hand dropped. A surrender. But not defeat.
“And maybe I do,” you snapped, though your hand stayed where it was—gripping his side like you needed the anchor. Like you didn’t want to let go. Your nails curled slightly between his belt and his V line. He shivered beneath the pressure.
His pupils dilated further, eyes locking on yours as if remembering everything you too were failing miserably to forget.
And then—he reached.
His hand slid behind your neck, fingers threading into your hair. Not yanking. Not dragging.
Just there. Claiming without question.
Breath warm against your lips.
Your heart stuttered.
Then you reached behind him—found the faucet—and yanked.
Water exploded over both of you, steam rising instantly, curling around your limbs like smoke from a fire you couldn’t put out.
He gasped, startled. His shirt clung to him instantly, outlining every line, every inch, water running in rivulets down the slopes of his body.
“What the—?” he started.
“You said you needed a shower. I agree,” you cut him off, hissing. Stepping into the spray with him, heat crawling down your spine. “You need to sober the hell up.”
He stared at you for a breath, stunned.
Then that look flickered into place.
Dark. Amused. Dangerous.
Water traced a slow path down his jaw, dripping from the cut above his brow. Down his throat. His chest. His voice came low and rough, barely more than a growl.
“Careful,” he murmured. “Or I’ll begin thinking the secret to have you under me is getting you wet.”
You pressed your finger to his cut meaning to hurt—to shut his mouth—, hovering close enough to feel his pulse beneath the skin. Your own shirt was soaked through, clinging to your curves like a dare, and you were suddenly too aware.
He grunted but didn’t pull away. Instead, he smiled. That insufferable, knowing smirk that said he could read every inch of your skin. Worse, that he could get under it.
“You wish,” you snapped, pulling your hand away.
His laugh was low and rough, soaked in sin. “I did,” he said, leaning in until the mist between you was all but gone. “And look at you now. Drenched. Again.”
Silence collapsed over the bathroom like a loaded gun.
You stared at each other like it was war. Like one word, one twitch of muscle, would set the whole damn room on fire.
His gaze locked with yours, dark and searing. Possessive. Like he’d never stopped seeing you as his. Like he knew every thought crashing through your mind in that moment.
And you wanted him.
God, you wanted him.
But the wanting didn’t make it less dangerous.
It made it worse.
You wanted his hands on you. His mouth. His body pinning you to the wall so hard you forgot your name. You wanted him to ruin you—devour every inch, mark every part, leave nothing untouched, nothing sacred. Just like he did that night.
You wanted him because you weren’t supposed to.
Because it would burn everything you’d built—every wall, every rule, every lie. And still, you’d do it again.
His voice broke the silence, rough and low, like a sandpiper doing his best to lure you in.
“I killed them.”
The words crashed into you like thunder.
He didn’t blink, didn’t flinch. Just stared, soaked and still, letting the truth settle slowly in your lungs like you were taking a drag from one of his cigarettes.
“The rest of the guys from when I…stitched you,” he said, voice hoarse, eyes hollow and burning. “Every last one of them. You don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
Your breath caught—snagged hard in your throat.
“What? When?” The whisper barely passed your lips.
His jaw flexed, twitching like he was chewing on the weight of it. “I had a lot of time on my hands the past two weeks,” his chest kept rising and falling, eyes unrelenting. “A lot of anger to burn.”
You lost yourself in the black pool of them, able to catch your reflection, thinking that the better question would be why, but you knew the answer. And it wasn’t because Jungkook would always have your back, because you were partners. It was the something more.
Whatever thin, frayed thread had been holding you back—snapped.
For a second you had to remind yourself—it’s okay to want something that might ruin you. To crave what cuts. And maybe you were already bleeding.
Your hand reached his collar, tugging. He let himself be pulled, leaning down like a storm bending toward you, moving slow, steady, devastating—giving you time to run. But you didn’t.
Because you wanted him to kiss you.
The moment his lips caught yours, everything burned off like fog meeting sun. The ache. The exhaustion. The war.
The kiss was slow at first—sinful, soaked in longing. The kind that studied every edge of you. Then your teeth caught his bottom lip, dragged with just the right pressure. He moaned—a dark, low sound that made your insides twist.
Jungkook leaned his forehead against yours, breathing heavy through the water falling over your heads.
“This is a bad idea,” you whispered, eyes closed as he teased your lips.
He trailed a hot path toward your ear, fingers curling around your hips. “Since when do we follow good ones?”
A bite on your lobe, soft. You lost control.
You pressed into him harder, hand locked in his jaw, seizing his lips completely. He shuddered, fingers coming to slide from your temples through your damp hair. Clutching, desperate. Your bodies taut with desire, tension razor-thin.
You moved, hands falling on his shoulders, then a push—you climbed him without mercy. His hands immediately under your thighs, squeezing. You were dizzy—drenched in him—just like that night, feeling feverish. Each kiss made your thoughts blurrier, your skin tighter, your breath more ragged.
Jungkook slammed you against the tile wall like he could read your mind, his hips grinding against yours. God, he was so fucking hard. You moaned, he grunted. Water rained down, steaming over your flushed skin, making every nerve feel electric.
You gasped with another roll of his hips, body trembling with every throb of want.
Fuck, you needed out of your clothes.
Needed them gone—
One leg came down, then the other. You shoved him back, his raven eyes searched for yours, dizzy. Almost supplicant.
Your lips parted, clit throbbing as you stripped the soaked t-shirt clinging to you. It peeled away slow, like silk over embers, baring you to the heat of his stare.
Jungkook froze.
Breathing heavy. Watching.
His gaze licked your chest, then fell to the stitches still holding on your side, right underneath your ribs.
“You should’ve taken those out,” his was voice low, raspy, “Now it’ll leave a scar,” and you caught the way his teeth found his lip, that damned dimple deepening—like he was already claiming it. His name etched in flesh.
Good, that had been your intention.
“No shit…Sherlock,” your lips curled into a knowing smirk. A laughter almost fell from your lips when you saw the realization befalling his eyes. His knuckles whitnening, balled in fists.
That fuelled you.
Your fingers fell to strip the boxer shorts next, leaving you only in your black lace panties. You stood bare before him, water sliding down your curves like an offering.
He stared in a daze, gulped.
Like you were a sin too beautiful to resist.
And he was ready to confess the only way he knew how—with worship and destruction.
Jungkook’s inked fingers found the back collar of his shirt, pulling it off in one fluid motion—water trailed down his chest like a whisper. Boots thudded to the tile, cast aside like fallen armor. Still, his gaze never left yours.
Your thighs pressed together as you took him in.
He was bare but for drenched jeans, dangerous and unguarded. The belt fell next, with a splash, and then his fingers found the button—until you closed the distance, taking over. You dragged his zipper down, slow, eyes piercing his.
His breath hitched.
Not even blood had undone Jeon Jungkook like this. This wasn’t vulnerability. It was exposure. Raw. His chest rose hard; pierced lips parted, begging for that final push—like if you did so, he’d come undone right there.
And you liked the feeling.
You liked the power humming beneath your fingers. The way he vibrated with the effort of not losing it.
Just to test him, to twist the wire tighter, you dropped your hand after unzipping him, let the distance stretch—mocking a retreat. Your steps pulled back, every line of your body begging to be chased.
“Don’t—Come here. Now,” Jungkook snarled, one step faltering.
You chuckled, slow and dangerous, stopping. Your eyes stayed on his, playful and defiant.
Jungkook could twist your mind into knots. Wreck your logic with a look.
But two could play.
And you had fire in your lungs now.
You stalked back toward him, eyes never dropping, and slid to your knees with the kind of poise that could unravel a man.
Tilting your head, biting your lip, you murmured, “Is this what you wished for? When you kept thinking to yourself I’d crawl back to you? That I was yours to keep?”
His breath was wrecked. His jaw flexed.
“Yes,” he said, the word broken with need. “That—and so much more.”
The confession hit the air like a lit fuse on dry kindling.
You smiled—slow and knowing, like a promise draped in danger. “Really?” you whispered. “And what else did you wish I’d do?”
Your hand slid up his thigh—slow, commanding—knuckles brushing soaked denim, the heat of his skin bleeding through. You felt the muscle tense beneath your palm, a quiet shudder betraying his restraint.
Jungkook’s eyes flared—black, volatile, molten. Then he moved. Fast.
He surged forward, seized your waist with fingers that dug into flesh like he was claiming a victory he hadn’t yet earned. He yanked you upright, effortless, like your body weighed nothing to him—like control was already his.
You barely had time to blink.
With a grunt, he flipped you over his shoulder, and the air rushed from your lungs. Your wet hair clung to your back, your cheek pressed to the plane of his spine. A yelp caught behind your teeth.
Then—smack.His palm fell to your ass like a whip, loud and ruthless.
You gasped, startled and electric, the sound swallowed by the hiss of steam and the wet splash of water against tile. The sting bloomed through your skin and burrowed down into heat.
"You're a fucking menace," he muttered, voice rough and thick with something darker than amusement—like each word had been dragged over gravel, heavy with the battle he was losing against himself.
Your laugh came out breathless. Aroused. Dangerous. "Funny, you seem to like it."
He growled—actually growled—and the sound lit up your nerves like dynamite. With one hand steady at your thigh, he reached out and turned off the shower, then walked you out like a man done pretending.
He carried you down the hall like a stolen prize, like something sacred and savage he’d fought to win. No hesitation. No falter. His gait was confident, practiced—and yet you’d never walked this route together before. He still knew exactly where your bedroom was.
The door creaked open and shadows welcomed you. Moonlight spilled across the sheets like it, too, had been waiting.
The room pulsed.
He didn’t lower you gently. He tossed you down like a challenge, like he was daring you to run again so he could catch you all over.
You landed with a bounce, limbs splaying, hair a halo across the bedding, lips parted. The moment held, thick with the throb of everything unsaid.
Then he was over you.
Jungkook’s body came down like a waterfall—damp denim scraping over lace, his weight pressing you into the mattress, heat bleeding through every inch. His arms caged your head. His breath ghosted over your cheek.
He was everywhere.
You arched into him, chasing friction like it might answer the ache inside you. His skin was slick with water, warm and wild. His jeans rubbed with exquisite cruelty between your thighs.
And his eyes—God, his eyes were flame.
He dipped his head, brushing lips to your throat—once, soft enough to almost hurt. Then he bit. A sharp press of teeth that said mine, that said run again and I’ll follow.
“You left, you ghosted me,” he pulled the soft skin beneath your ear between his teeth, like it was penance.
“Ah,” you moaned, your head tipping back, hair plastered to your face, his heat bleeding into you as steam still clung to your skin. One of his hands slid to your breast, bold, hungry, and you could barely think around it.
“I—I’m…”
But the words died in your throat. Thought scattered.
Jungkook’s breath stuttered against your mouth. Hot. Shaking. And then—
He moved.
Devastating.
One hand wrapped around his cock, dragging it out of his jeans with a groan that sounded broken. The kind of sound that could tear open ribcages. The kind that made your breath catch, knees press inward, thighs shake.
The other—
He hooked rough fingers into the lace clinging to your soaked skin, yanking your panties aside like they’d offended him by existing. No finesse. No delay.
You spread your legs before you realized you had. The want in your chest curled like claws—sharp, urgent, feral.
Then he thrust.
Hard. Deep.
You cried out. His name caught on your tongue like a spell gone wrong. He filled you—inch by inch—with a slowness that wasn’t mercy, but control. You arched. He didn’t stop. Buried to the hilt, the stretch a brand, a claim.
He felt perfect. Like he’d been made to wreck you.
You remembered—fuck.
The condom. It hit you mid-moan, a flash of ice through the heat. You weren’t on the shot—you never were. Not with how it messed with your body, your reflexes. Not in your line of work.
Your hands flew to his hips, trembling as you tried to stall his rhythm, tried to choke out words through the haze.
“JK—ah, fuck—Stop. Wait—”
He started to pull back, the motion sudden, his breath sharp, panicked. His eyes found yours and they pleaded.
“No. No, please. Baby, please—”
A breathless laugh fell from your lips. You couldn’t help it. His desperation—it was fucking adorable. You dragged your nails down his back, slow, soothing. “We forgot the condom.”
Relief transformed him, but he didn’t waste a second. He slipped out cursing under his breath, and was on his feet in an instant, already moving.
“Bathroom,” you said, still catching your breath. “Second drawer.”
He came back fast, foil in hand, eyes locked on you like a man starved.
You were already on your knees, waiting for him at the edge of the bed, panties gone. One hand curled around the back of his neck, pulling him in. The kiss was slow, deep. Sin-drenched. You toyed with the damp strands at his nape, shivering at how they curled against your fingers.
Jungkook pushed his soaked jeans off. Finally. Your mouth watered. The white boxers clung, transparent, and left nothing to the imagination. You licked your lips.
You helped take them off too. Then his inked hand found your chest, pressing you back into the mattress. A smirk playing on his lips. The condom hit the sheets a second after. You chuckled, low, breathless.
And then he was on you.
His weight pressed into yours, lips at your ear, voice low.
“Tell me again what you said that night.”
“What?” you breathed. You could barely remember your own name.
“That you hate me,” he bit your jaw. “Lie to me again, and tell me that you hate me.”
“I hate you,” you said—except it came out soft. Like a kiss. Like a confession.
His mouth traveled down. Kisses trailed heat. You whispered it again. He sucked one nipple.
“Fuck, I hate you.” and again.
His chest rumbled, a dark chuckle as he closed his eyes and trailed down. He dragged his teeth through your lower belly. It coiled. You fisted the sheets.
“Mhm, I hate you.” you kept chanting like a shield.
He reached between your legs and moaned into you.
“Ah— I fucking hate you,” you gasped, back arching, fingers clawing at his hair, desperate to keep him there.
“I hate your mouth…Those goddamned hands,” and as if on command he squeezed your thighs, his tongue circled, teased, playing with your rationale. “I hate— I—” you started losing yourself, hips undulating, trying to meet his pace.
Jungkook groaned—devouring you like he’d never tasted anything real before. You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Just moaned, begged, burned.
“Don’t stop,” you panted. “Jungkook—”
He didn’t. He ate like a man dying. Sucked and swirled and bit until your body broke, splintered into light, your orgasm ripping through you like it had claws. You cried out, one hand fisting the sheets, the other holding him there.
“Oh, God— Fuck!”
He looked at you from between your legs, licking you through it, slow.
Then he rose with one last long lick, grinning like a feline, crawling back up, mouth crashing into yours—letting you taste yourself on his tongue. You kissed him back hard, wild, lips swollen, mind reeling.
He groaned into it, and the condom was in his hand in a second. He ripped the foil and rolled it on. His eyes—blown and wild—never left yours.
His hands found the back of your knees, and he pulled, fast. Like he couldn’t bear to wait a second longer.
He dropped.
And thrust into you—no warning, just heat and pressure and that tight, perfect stretch.
Your mouths clashed. You kissed like addicts, like two people who had tried everything else but nothing ever came close to this.
Your nails sank into his shoulders, searching for something to hold as he drove into you. Over and over.
Jungkook moaned. Deep and raspy. Feral. One arm braced beside your head. The other—he slid under you, gripping your ass, dragging your hips up to meet every punishing thrust.
He fucked you like he was possessed. Like he wanted to possess you.
Your orgasm started building again—fast, feral. He felt it. The way you clawed at his back, your moans climbing in pitch against his neck.
“You thought we were done?” He wrapped that hellish inked hand around your throat—not tight, just there, a tether. His pace slowed. Unbearably slow. His eyes dark, locked to yours. “I’m not done. Understand?”
You barely had time to gasp before he slid out, flipped you like you weighed nothing.
A whimper escaped your lips, thighs clenching.
He reached out, his hand gripped your jaw, angling your head back to him. His breath came hot over your lips. “Head down. Ass up.”
You stared at him, defiant—because you could. Then, slowly, you leaned even more toward him, let your tongue flick his lip piercing. A challenge.
“I’ll let you be the boss tonight, then.”
You caught how his tongue poked his cheek. How rage and lust twined in his eyes, before going on all fours and sinking your head further into the mattress, tauting him.
“You—” he shook his head, jaw tight. He gripped your waist with one hand, the other guiding him to your entrance. “I swear you’ll be so spent you won’t be able to run. Not tonight.”
Then he slammed into you.
The sheets muffled your moan. Your clit throbbed as he forced your knee out and drove in again—Hard, fast, vicious.
“JK…” you cried out.
His hand fisted in your hair, tugging, arching you flush against his chest. Mouth to your ear. “Ngh, fuck, baby—it keeps getting better–”
He pounded into you. You could barely breathe. Barely think.
“Yeah,” was all you managed, and you squeezed your eyes shut, taking it.
Your walls clenched. Hands pressed into the sheets, rocking back into him, chasing every stroke.
You arched again, his hands pulled, squeezed—slick skin on his thighs, water still clinging to both of you, and all you could think about was that you could be doing this for two weeks had you not been such a coward.
He hit deep. Again. And again.
“Harder,” you whimpered. “Ah, right there—!”
He grunted and gave it to you.
“Jungkook, I— Mhm–” You shattered. Your orgasm burst white-hot and ruined you.
He kept going, chasing his own end. His hand closed around your breast as he came, groaning against your back, filling the condom with that sexy, throaty moan of his. It echoed deep in your core.
You both collapsed—sweat and steam and aftermath.
“Fuck,” he panted against your shoulder blades.
A second passed, just your breaths filling the bedroom, then—
“JK… You’re crushing me.” You chuckled against the sheets, and he pulled out, breath ragged, rolling onto his back beside you.
You stretched out your legs, sore and blissed out. Watched as he rolled the condom off, tossed it toward the bin.
Then he dragged you to his chest. Lazy grin. Warm eyes.
You kissed him—lazy, honey-slow. His throat rumbled with a sound that made your stomach flip.
“Stay with me,” he breathed against your lips. “Just—”
“I missed you,” you whispered, fingers sinking into his damp hair.
You felt more exposed than when you were beneath him, neck bare and exposed.
“I missed this.”
He went still. Eyes finding yours. Then—he kissed you again, deeper, longer. You wondered if it would ever stop being this… head-spinning.
When he pulled back, he nuzzled your nose. “I fucking missed you too.”
You lay there. Still breathing. Still burning. Still tangled.
“They can’t know. No one can.” your voice was barely a whisper.
You didn’t say why. You didn’t need to. Jungkook knew.
If your superiors caught wiff of it—worse, if whoever was your enemy next did… You’d both have a grave marked with your names.
“I know,” he said. Then added—grumbling, “But that informant of yours should. The nerve on that guy!”
You snorted. Rolled your eyes. One hand untangled from his hair to cover his face, pushing gently.
He bit your palm with eyes closed. Dragging the flesh there. The vision did something stupid to you.
In a swift motion, you straddled him.
And he looked up at you like you were everything. Just laid there beneath you, round eyes ravaging on the shape of your body on top of his.
Your hands slid to the space between his chest and abs, feeling him, pinning him. He started to breathe hard, slowly hardening under you again.
Holy fuck.
His grip returned—your hips in his rough palms. Fingers curling.
You arched, dipping towards his mouth. Brushing, featherlight, teasing.
“You should know by now I’m not the most patient guy,” he grunted, fingers running along the expanse of your legs. You laughed against his mouth, low, satisfied.
Then you bit. His lip. His jaw. His throat.
When you returned to his mouth and he tried to kiss you—eager, barely in check—you stopped him. Smiled. Your lips just hovering, his breath rough.
You held him there, hand on his jaw.
Then you rolled your hips on his cock, slow, hard.
Jungkook moaned, head tipping back.
“My turn,” you clashed your mouth against his.
A faint rustle broke the silence.
Cold air kissed your bare skin—an empty space beside you where warmth used to be. Your arm instinctively reached out, fingers curling into the mattress before you stirred, eyelashes fluttering against your cheeks.
Jungkook…?
You blinked awake. He was sitting at the edge of the bed, lit only by the soft morning sun sneaking in through the curtains. His back was to you, spine a canvas of light and shadow. He bent forward, pulling something from his jeans. The screen of his phone lit up once, a low buzz vibrating through the silence.
Shit. You’d soaked his phone the night before. Please be working—
He answered it with a rough, still-sleep-heavy “Yeah?”
You moved before your thoughts could catch up—sliding across the sheets like you were weightless, drawn by the scent of him, the pull of him. Your body folded around his, forehead pressing to his shoulder, your mouth tucked into the space just beneath his jaw, breathing him in. He smelled like sweat, like cotton, like you.
He shifted, pulling you closer.
Jungkook was so deliciously warm it hurt.
“You owe me, you know,” a voice crackled through the line—male, lazy drawl layered with something sharp underneath. “You dropped a bomb on me last night. Took me four hours to cover it. I want answers.”
The contact.
You hadn’t known a name, hadn’t needed to. But Jungkook had mentioned someone last night. Someone who could clean up a mess. Now, the puzzle was whole.
Jungkook’s fingers found your thigh, skimming over your skin like it was habit. Like he didn’t need to look to know where you were.
“You’ll get them, Taehyung,” he muttered, mouth brushing your hair as he spoke. “Got anything for me?”
A pause. “Yeah. I have what you wanted. Meet me in thirty.”
He turned, lips catching yours—barely there, like he couldn’t not kiss you. Then his hand slid lower, slipping between your legs, teasing, slow and confident.
“Make it two and a half hours,” he said into the phone, voice quieter now, voice that always made you ache.
“Two and a half? What the hell are you—”
“I’m busy.” A smirk tugged at his mouth. “Send the address.”
He ended the call without waiting, phone thunking softly onto the nightstand. His body turned fully, slow and heavy with sleep and want. He looked at you like you were the only thing that had ever made sense.
“Morning,” his lips found your cheek, your jaw, the corner of your mouth. “Where were we?”
You laughed into his skin, teeth grazing the scar on his shoulder—the one you’d given him that first mission, when you didn’t trust him and he’d called you reckless.
“You were just about to take off my stitches and then make me breakfast.”
Jungkook grinned, unrelenting. “Then round three in the shower?”
You groaned, but you were already folding, fingers running through the soft and haparzed strands of his hair again, lips catching his.
“Regroup. Round three now, everything else later.”
And he was already on top of the situation. Already on top of you.
© ACHERONSOCIETY / 2025, all rights reserved. do not steal, repost, translate and/or claim this work as your own.
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LOVE AND DEEPSPACE — “YOU CAME?” “YOU CALLED.”
ZAYNE
The city hums like a living thing outside the window, its lights too bright, too indifferent. Rain claws down the glass in erratic streaks, turning the night into a blur of neon smears and muted sirens.
You don’t look at the door. You just sit on the edge of the hotel bed, fingers twisting into the hem of your coat like they’re trying to tear through fabric, skin, bone.
And then—you hear it. The knock.
One.
Two.
Three.
Measured. Controlled. So Zayne.
You shouldn’t have called. You knew he’d come.
But knowing something doesn’t make it hurt less.
You cross the room slowly, like the ground itself might open if you move too fast. Your hand lingers on the doorknob. You inhale like it might steady you. It doesn’t.
When the door opens, it’s like a punch to the chest. He’s soaked. Dark hair plastered to his face, jacket clinging to him like second skin. He doesn't speak. His eyes just search you like he's memorizing the lines of someone he's trying not to forget.
"You came?" you whisper. It’s barely a question. It’s a wound.
He exhales, jaw tight. “You called.”
There’s something dangerous in his voice. Not anger. Something heavier. Quieter.
You step aside and he walks in like a shadow—silent, consuming.
The door clicks shut behind him and the space between you becomes suffocating.
"You shouldn’t be here," you say, but your voice is shaking, like you don’t mean it. Like you never did.
"I know." His eyes don’t leave yours. "But you said you needed me."
"I didn’t think you’d still come."
He doesn’t answer that. Just shrugs off his wet jacket and tosses it on the chair like it doesn't still carry the scent of his cologne—sharp, electric, him.
You hate that it makes your throat burn.
"You left," you say. It spills out, broken glass from a shattered bottle. "You disappeared without a word, and now you’re just—"
"You called." His voice cuts through yours like frost. “You needed me.”
"And if I hadn’t?" you ask, eyes wet now, voice cracking. “Would you have stayed gone?”
He doesn’t answer.
And in that silence is everything he can't say.
You turn away before he can see the tears fall. Or maybe you just don’t want to see the way his face would twist when they do.
He moves closer. Close enough that you feel the heat of him, even through the cold.
"I never stopped watching," he says quietly. "Even when I shouldn’t have. Even when it hurt."
"Then why—"
"Because I loved you." His voice is raw now, stripped down. "Love you."
You spin, eyes wide. “Then why did you leave?”
He looks at you like you already know. Like he doesn't want to admit the truth out loud.
“Because everything I touch ends up broken,” he whispers. “And I couldn’t bear to see that happen to you.”
You're quiet for a moment. Just breathing in the pieces of each other, jagged and unfinished.
"You don’t get to decide what breaks me," you say finally. “You don’t get to run and then pretend it was for my sake.”
He flinches like the words hit him physically. And maybe they do.
But he steps closer again. And this time, when he cups your face, his hand is shaking.
"I came because you called," he says. "But I stayed because I never stopped wanting to."
You don't kiss him.
You just let your forehead fall against his chest and listen to his heartbeat echo all the things neither of you are brave enough to say.
Not yet.
But maybe soon.
If he doesn’t run again.
If you don’t.
XAVIER
The air in the abandoned warehouse is still, like it’s holding its breath. Like it knows what’s coming.
It smells like dust and old memories. The place hasn’t changed. You have.
You shouldn’t be here. But something about the silence felt safer than your apartment. Than your bed. Than being alone with the echo of a voice you told yourself you were done missing.
You didn’t expect him to actually come.
But then again, he always does the impossible.
The door creaks open behind you, soft but sure.
You don’t turn.
“You came?” Your voice cracks on the second word.
He doesn’t hesitate. “You called.”
You laugh. Bitter. Small. “That’s not an answer.”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
You finally turn, and there he is—Xavier, in that same black coat, like night has wrapped itself around him. His face is unreadable, but his eyes give him away. They always do. They burn like a star that forgot how to die.
“You shouldn’t have come,” you say, swallowing the ache.
“I know.” He takes a step closer. “But I couldn’t not.”
"That’s a bad habit of yours."
"So is needing someone who disappears the moment it gets hard."
You flinch. Fair shot.
Neither of you speak for a moment. There's just that heavy stillness. The kind that settles in right before something breaks.
You look at him—really look. He looks tired. More than usual. Like the universe took something from him and didn’t bother saying sorry.
"You left without telling me why," you say, voice low. "I thought I meant something to you."
"You did." A beat. "You do."
"Then why the hell did you run?"
He hesitates. That alone says everything.
“I didn’t run,” he says slowly. “I withdrew. There’s a difference.”
Your laugh this time is sharp, bitter. “Yeah, the difference is whether or not I get a goddamn explanation.”
“I was trying to protect you.” He says it like it should make everything better.
"It didn’t work."
"I know."
You walk past him, pacing, running a hand through your hair, furious at how much you still care. "I waited, Xavier. I waited every damn night, thinking maybe you’d explain, maybe you’d just say something. And you never did."
“I thought staying away would make it easier.”
"For who?" you snap. “You?”
He doesn't deny it. Of course he doesn't.
He looks out the tall window, to the stars you used to point out together. The ones he taught you to read like a language only the two of you knew.
“I didn’t want to pull you into the dark with me,” he murmurs. “You shine too bright.”
You almost laugh again, but it’s too cruel. Too hollow.
“You don’t get to make that choice for me,” you say, voice quieter now. “You don’t get to disappear and act like it was noble.”
He finally looks at you again. “Then why call me tonight?”
You pause.
"Because I didn’t know who else would understand the kind of lonely that feels like being lost in orbit."
He moves toward you slowly, like he’s afraid you’ll disappear if he moves too fast.
“I’m still me,” he says, “even if I’m... not the version of me you deserve.”
You close the distance between you, until you’re standing chest-to-chest, eyes searching his like they might find the truth he never says out loud.
“I never asked you to be perfect,” you whisper. “I just wanted you to stay.”
“I’m here now.”
You shake your head, tears clinging to your lashes. “But for how long, Xavier? Until you get scared again?”
He doesn’t promise anything. He just reaches up, hesitant fingers brushing your cheek like he’s memorizing the shape of you.
“I don’t know how to be good at this,” he admits.
You press your hand over his.
“Then don’t be good,” you say. “Just be here.”
RAFAYEL
The door slides open with that soft mechanical sigh — too smooth, too easy for something that feels this heavy.
You step into his studio, unsure if you’re intruding or answering a summons. Maybe both.
Rafayel doesn’t look up immediately. He’s lounging in his chair like he’s been expecting you for hours, like your arrival is only mildly more interesting than the orbit decay he's monitoring. One leg crossed over the other, arm draped lazily across the back of the seat. Completely unfazed.
But you know him. You see the tension in the way his fingers twitch once before stilling. The quiet inhale he doesn’t think you’ll notice.
He finally glances over his shoulder.
“You came?” he drawls, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “How uncharacteristically obedient of you.”
You raise an eyebrow. “You called.”
He hums, spinning lazily to face you. “I did. It’s nice to know I still have that kind of pull.”
You don’t dignify that with a response. Not yet.
Instead, you cross your arms, leaning against the wall like you’re not unraveling just from being in the same room again. “Was there a reason, or were you just bored and craving emotional devastation?”
He grins at that. “Tempting. But no, I had a moment of weakness. I thought, ‘What if I said something sincere and emotionally available for once?’ Then I panicked and called you.”
You stare at him. “That explains the abrupt message with no context.”
“Ah. So you did miss me.”
You laugh. Sharp. Bitter. “I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
There’s a beat. The banter falters — just for a breath. You see it then: the exhaustion under the charm, the way his shoulders drop just slightly. Something is off tonight. Even for him.
“You look like hell,” you say, softer now.
He shrugs. “Sleep is for the emotionally stable.”
You take a few steps forward, slow. “Rafayel… why did you call me?”
He looks at you for a long moment. The smirk fades, bit by bit, until all that’s left is the truth he’s too proud to say out loud.
“Because the silence was louder than I expected,” he says finally. “And apparently, I hate the sound of my own thoughts.”
You exhale. “That’s rich coming from you.”
“I know. Terrifying, isn’t it?”
You reach him. He’s still in his chair, but now he’s watching you like you’re something he can’t bear to touch, but can’t look away from either.
“I was angry,” you say. “When you left. When you shut down. I didn’t know where I stood.”
“I thought I was doing you a favor,” he says, voice quieter now. “Sparing you from the mess. From me.”
“Well, it didn’t feel like mercy. It felt like abandonment.”
He winces like the word physically lands. “Ouch. You’ve been practicing.”
You don’t blink. “Just telling the truth. You do that too, sometimes. Usually when it hurts.”
His lips twitch. “Fair.”
You kneel a little, meeting his eye level. “If you didn’t want me to come, you shouldn’t have called.”
“If I didn’t want you here, I would’ve locked the door.”
“Would’ve stopped me?”
“No. But I would’ve felt better about it.”
A beat of silence.
Then, quietly:
“I missed you.” He says it like it’s dangerous. Like it’s a confession he’s not used to giving, and hates that he means.
“I know,” you whisper. “So did I.”
He exhales. His hand lifts, tentative, hovering for a second before brushing your arm like he’s asking permission with his fingertips.
You let him.
Just this once.
“You’re really here,” he murmurs.
You nod. “For now.”
He tilts his head, eyes narrowing with something unreadable. “Is this the part where we pretend to fix things? Or the part where we ruin them more beautifully?”
You manage a tired smile. “I don’t know yet.”
He leans in, eyes gleaming.
“Good,” he whispers. “I love a little uncertainty.”
And for once, you both sit with the ambiguity — no promises, no apologies. Just space. Shared, uneasy, electric.
Because sometimes, you came is all the answer there is.
SYLUS
The rooftop is quiet this time of night.
Above you, the sky hangs heavy with stars you’ve never really learned to name. Below, the city breathes in artificial light and distant hums — busy, blind, uncaring.
You shift on the cold ledge, arms tucked into your coat, trying to feel something other than the tight ache in your chest.
You shouldn’t have called him.
You barely know him — not really. Not enough to ask for this. For company. For anything that feels like comfort.
But you called anyway.
And now... he’s here.
The door creaks behind you.
You don't look back. Not right away.
His footsteps are soft. Controlled. Like he’s trying not to startle you.
“You came?” Your voice is low. Fragile, despite your best efforts.
He doesn’t answer at first. Just moves closer, the warmth of his presence cutting through the rooftop chill like something solid. Real.
“You called,” Sylus says, voice quiet. No judgment. Just fact.
You turn, finally meeting his eyes — that impossible shade of red, too vivid in the dark.
He’s still wearing his usual layers — all black, as if the world’s weight might be easier to carry if he looks like he’s already braced for it. But his expression is softer than you’ve ever seen it. Guarded, but open in a way you didn’t expect.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” you say, already retreating.
“You didn’t.” He steps closer. “Well. You interrupted sleep. But I wasn’t really doing that anyway.”
You offer a tired half-smile. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He says it like he means it. “I’d rather be here.”
That quiets you.
You look away, out at the city. “I wasn’t even sure you’d come.”
“I was already halfway here before I realized I hadn’t even asked why you wanted me to.”
“And now that you’re here?”
He shrugs lightly. “Still don’t need a reason.”
Your breath catches. There’s too much in that answer. Too much for someone you’ve only known for a few weeks. Someone who still deflects most questions and hides behind smirks like they’re bulletproof.
But he’s here.
“Rough day?” he asks gently.
You nod. “Yeah.”
He doesn’t push. Just waits. You’re starting to realize that’s who he is. He gives you silence, not as avoidance — but as space. Like he knows you’ll talk if you need to. Or not.
And right now, you need to.
“I thought I was okay,” you admit. “But then everything just... started to close in. Like I couldn’t breathe. And I didn’t know who to call.”
His brow furrows slightly. “So you called me.”
“Yeah.”
A pause.
“Why me?”
The question isn’t accusatory. He sounds curious. Maybe even surprised.
You meet his gaze, forcing the words out past the knot in your throat.
“Because you’re the only one who looks like they’d understand what it feels like to want to disappear sometimes.”
The silence that follows is heavier. Realer.
And then, softly:
“I do,” Sylus says. “Understand, I mean.”
You nod. “I thought you might.”
He exhales slowly, something easing in his posture. He sits beside you — not too close, but close enough that your shoulders nearly touch.
“I don’t usually do this kind of thing,” he murmurs.
“What? Comforting people?”
“No. Letting people see the part of me that needs comfort.”
You glance at him. “Is that what this is?”
“Maybe.” He hesitates. “Or maybe I just didn’t want you to be alone tonight.”
You smile, small and real. “That’s kind of the same thing.”
He huffs a quiet laugh. “Maybe I’m worse at this than I thought.”
“You’re not,” you say. “You’re just honest. It’s rare.”
He nods like that’s something he doesn’t hear often.
After a moment, you shift slightly toward him.
“You can go, if you want.”
He doesn’t move.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Sylus says quietly. “Not if you still want me here.”
You don’t say anything. Just let the silence settle over the two of you — warm now, not empty. You can feel him next to you, steady and real.
And for the first time in hours, the world doesn’t feel like it’s closing in.
Not when he’s here.
CALEB
You should’ve let the message sit unanswered.
The city outside Caleb’s apartment still glows the way it always does — neon gold and soft blue, glittering like it's trying to convince you everything is beautiful and under control.
It’s not.
Not in here.
The air still feels bruised from the fight earlier. Words that shouldn’t have been said, thrown like sharp glass between the two of you. There’s a bitter silence now, the kind that doesn’t just linger — it punishes.
You don’t know why you came back.
Well — you do.
Because he called.
The lock disengages before you can knock again. The door opens just slightly, and there he is — Caleb. Towering, broad-shouldered, and suddenly so very… small in the way he looks at you. Like he expected you not to come.
You don’t say anything.
Neither does he.
Until, finally:
“You came?” His voice is hoarse, low. Like he’s trying not to hope.
You answer without thinking. “You called.”
He looks away for a second, like your answer hurt more than he expected it to.
You cross the threshold, slowly, cautiously — like the apartment itself might bite. Everything’s just as you left it earlier: the couch cushions slightly skewed from when you stormed off, one of the mugs from your argument still on the table, untouched.
The air smells like ozone and tension.
“I wasn’t sure you’d answer,” Caleb says quietly, shutting the door behind you.
You still can’t meet his eyes. “I wasn’t sure I should.”
He swallows hard. “And yet... here you are.”
You shrug, feeling like your voice could crack at any moment. “Guess that makes both of us idiots.”
A soft, humorless laugh escapes him. “Speak for yourself, pipsqueak. I’ve always been an idiot. Took you longer to join the club.”
You glance at him, and for a moment, the pain in your chest softens — just a bit.
But it’s not enough.
“What are we doing, Caleb?” you ask, turning to face him fully. “Because I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine between us when it isn’t.”
His jaw tightens. “You think I’m pretending?”
“I think you’re avoiding. There’s a difference.”
He moves past you, pacing to the window, hands on his hips like he’s trying to hold himself together by sheer force of will.
“I’m not good at this,” he says, voice taut. “At… relationships. Talking. Not making everything worse.”
You follow slowly. “Then why push me away whenever I try to talk?”
“Because the more I care about you, the more it scares the hell out of me,” he snaps — and then stops, breathing hard.
It hangs there, naked and jagged.
You take a slow step toward him. “You don’t get to use love as a reason to hurt me.”
His head bows, shoulders tense. “I know.”
“I don’t want perfection, Caleb. I want honesty. Even if it’s messy.”
He turns back toward you. There’s something in his eyes now — something cracked and real.
“I called you,” he says quietly, “because I didn’t know how to sit in this apartment and not be able to take it back.”
You step closer.
“I came,” you whisper, “because I didn’t want to go to sleep angry. Not with you.”
For a moment, you’re both silent. Then:
“I’m sorry,” he says. And it sounds like it costs him.
You nod. “Me too.”
He lifts a hand, hesitant, fingers brushing yours — tentative, unsure, but desperate to anchor.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” Caleb says. “But I don’t want to lose you trying to figure it out.”
You take his hand. Grip it like it’s the only steady thing in the world.
“Then don’t let go.”
#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#xavier#zayne#rafayel#sylus#caleb#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads rafayel#lads sylus#lads caleb#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#caleb x reader#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace caleb
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PONTIUS PILATE’S SECRET LETTER FOUND – VATICAN IN PANIC MODE
This is not just a discovery. It’s a detonation. Buried in ancient Roman archives, a hidden letter from Pontius Pilate has just been unearthed — and it shatters the foundation of everything the Vatican has taught for centuries.
Pilate didn’t see Jesus as a criminal. He saw Him as something divine. In this letter, the man who gave the order to crucify Christ admits he was tormented. He speaks of miracles. He speaks of wisdom. He speaks of fear. Fear of divine judgment. Fear of eternal consequences. He calls Jesus a man of unmatched purity — and suggests he witnessed supernatural events firsthand.
But here’s what really ignites the fire: Pilate blames Caiaphas and the corrupt religious elite for forcing his hand. He describes a coordinated plot, threats to his power, a mob manipulated by lies. He knew Jesus was innocent. He knew the crucifixion was a setup. And now, centuries later, the truth erupts from the shadows.
Why now? Why was this letter buried? Because it directly threatens the Vatican’s controlled narrative. Pilate, once painted as a cold political tool, now looks like a man drowning in guilt and trying to warn the world. The Vatican’s reaction? Terror and silence. They’re scrambling for “verification,” but the words are right there — clear, bold, and damning.
He speaks of nights haunted by guilt. Of a world manipulated by fear and power. Of a man named Jesus who was not of this world. Pilate’s final confessions don’t just rewrite the crucifixion — they expose the entire religious-political machine behind it.
And the implications are nuclear. This isn’t just a letter. It’s a confession from inside the machine. A Roman official admitting the Son of God was condemned by corruption, not justice. This letter was NEVER meant to be seen. But now it is.
Tick. Tock. The Vatican’s time is up. The truth has returned. And NOTHING will stop what is coming.
WWG1WGA
TRUST THE PLAN
THE STORM IS HERE 🤔
#pay attention#educate yourselves#educate yourself#reeducate yourselves#knowledge is power#reeducate yourself#think about it#think for yourselves#think for yourself#do your homework#do your research#do some research#do your own research#ask yourself questions#question everything#government secrets#government corruption#government lies#truth be told#lies exposed#evil lives here#news#hidden history#secret history#history lesson#history#you decide#vatican corruption#sick and twisted#ancient history
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🧡Caleb - Five Years Later
The third in a series of stories exploring MC’s return after five years of silence. Others are coming soon — links will be added as they’re published.
Original ask that sparked this continuation.
Sylus | Rafayel | Zayne | Xavier (coming soon)
CW/TW: Grief / Loss of a loved one, Terminal illness, PTSD themes, Emotional trauma, Mentions of death / implied past death, Medical procedures / hospitals, Restraints (medical context), Panic attacks / nightmares, confinement / loss of agency, Non-consensual medical intervention, Self-worth / guilt issues, Power imbalance (emotional), Non-graphic violence, Brief medical body horror, Touch-starvation / intimacy after trauma, Bittersweet tone, heavy emotional intensity, Hope & love, but not always soft
Pairing: Caleb x former partner!you Genre: Sci-fi drama, heartbreak and healing, soul-deep devotion. Heavy on angst, soft on reunion. Enemies to… something more broken and beautiful. MC Context: You disappeared five years ago. He never forgave you. Now you’re back — with a secret that’s killing you slowly. Summary: Admiral Caleb was forged in war and tempered by loss — and you were the one wound that never healed. When fate throws you back into his orbit, neither of you are ready for what resurfaces. Letters, graves, rain-soaked rooftops, and the love that refuses to die quietly. Word Count: 8.4K — stand-alone… for now. 🥀 This story was loosely inspired by Caleb’s latest Myth. Just a touch of that vibe, y’know?
Author’s Note: Okay, full confession — I cried from the first word to the very last. Maybe it’s just me (I’ll admit, Caleb is my soft spot). Or maybe… it just hit something. Either way, I’d love to hear what you think.
The anniversary of Josephine’s death — and Caleb’s own — landed squarely on an unscheduled visit to Lincon City.
The admiral rarely returned. Not unless duty bared its teeth and dragged him back. Too painful. Too empty. The wounds too fresh, even now.
He had once been Colonel Caleb of the Farspace Fleet. Now, promoted to the soulless rank of Admiral, he moved like a ghost through corridors lined with medals and silence. But today… something clawed at him. A compulsion. A tremor from a buried place.
He bought lupines. Tall, excessive, dignified in a way grief never is. The kind you buy for someone who will never see them. And then he walked — alone — to the cemetery.
He had only been here once before. With you.
Josephine’s grave was strangely well-tended. No weeds. Edged clean. A vase of pink lilies — fresh, impossibly so — sat nestled against the stone like someone had just set them down and whispered something soft and final. Her favorite flowers. He remembered.
His first thought: the groundskeepers. Maybe the city did something for the dead on anniversaries. Some quiet bureaucratic kindness. But that didn’t explain the lilies. How would they know?
His eyes scanned the black headstone. “Josephine,” carved in solemn, obedient serif. A name, a dash, two dates, and silence. His grandmother. Gone six years.
She hadn’t died of age. The blast had taken her.
But you — you were different.
Five years. Five years since you vanished. Gone not like a candle snuffed, but like smoke ripped from the air.
He had never accepted it. Not really. Some part of him believed you were taken. That you had been forced to go.
Because the truth — the one that stared back at him in sleepless nights and shattered mirrors — was that you did leave. You walked away. No message. No farewell. Just absence.
The storm was building in the clouds above, heavy and low like judgment. Thunder sat unspoken just beyond the hills, crouching. Caleb stood still, arms at his sides, as the sky thickened.
Why?
It was a question that never left. A question with a thousand answers. Each one sharper than the last.
The scent of wet earth rose in the air. Ozone, crackling like something electric and cruel. His hand twitched toward his wristwatch. He was due back. His itinerary was brutal. The war waited for no one — not even the grieving.
He knelt, placed the bouquet down with the softness of ritual. A last gesture. A futile offering.
Then his eyes drifted. To his own gravestone.
There it was. Cold. Familiar. His name, etched beneath hers, waiting for its second date.
And something else. A white envelope.
Untouched by time. Unsullied by rain or rot. Resting gently, like it had grown there.
His breath caught.
The lilies. The letter. The impossible coincidence.
Then the first drop hit — heavy, warm — against his cheek. A second, on the envelope. Then more.
Drip. Drip-drip. Drip— Draaip.
The kind of rain that doesn’t fall, but descends. Like judgment. Like memory.
Caleb stepped forward. One foot. Then another. His boots sank slightly into the earth, as if the ground resisted.
He reached out — hands trembling, trembling — like the time he pulled an FS-90 out of a death spiral back at the Academy, nose brushing the snow-capped ridges of the mountains peaks.
He lifted the envelope. It was light. Too light. But on it — one word, scrawled in handwriting he knew too well.
Caleb.
Nothing more.
He shoved it into the inner pocket of his uniform, as though it were explosive. As though it might burn through the fabric and into his chest.
And just like that — as if spurred by some instinct he couldn't name — he turned on his heel and walked fast, too fast, back toward the car.
His heart didn’t race. It pounded.
Like thunder.
The drive to the airfield felt like a lifetime, though the roads were mercifully clear. No evening traffic, no pointless delays. The driver, attuned to the admiral’s mood, pressed hard on the accelerator, but still — Caleb tapped his fingers against the armrest with restless urgency, the motion sharp and impatient.
The envelope continued to burn in his chest.
Rain traced thick, winding rivers down the window, a slow, rhythmic descent like tears he never shed for you. When you left, it wasn’t just his heart that broke. It was his soul, his body, his being. Everything cracked and caved inward — except his eyes. Those remained stubbornly dry.
Now, though… he was close. And that made him angry.
Furious, even.
It infuriated him that just as he had begun to stitch some version of his life back together — a life without you, without your voice, your touch, your name — you reappeared. Like a ghost. Too close to ignore, too far to hold.
If you had wanted to return, you would have come back. Not like this. Not through riddles and shadows and silence. You would’ve stood at his door, or on a tarmac, or behind him in some briefing room like the world hadn’t ended. And he — damn him — he would have forgiven you. Instantly. Because that’s who he was. That’s what you had always counted on.
And that was what made him want to scream.
He didn’t want to forgive. He didn’t want to read your damned letter, to parse your reasons, your pleas, your desperate little words asking to be understood.
He didn’t want to analyze your cruelty. He didn’t want to empathize with it.
For the first time in five years, Caleb felt like he could finally, truly erase you. Not forget — never forget — but cut you out like rot. And live with the absence.
The letter pressed against his chest like a bullet. He placed his palm over it, broad and unsteady, as though trying to keep it from puncturing skin. As if it hadn’t already pierced him, deep and final.
The only sane choice would be to throw it out the window. Let the wind take it, let the rain dissolve it, let the world carry it into the dark.
Maybe you hadn’t even meant for him to find it. Maybe this was a confession to no one. A whisper into the void. Maybe it wasn’t meant for him at all — just for yourself.
To ease the weight.
To breathe again.
Selfish.
Selfish to write it. Selfish to hope for release, when he was still walking in agony, flesh and blood wrapped around something broken.
He didn’t want you to breathe.
He didn’t want you to be free of the pain, not when he was still wearing it — every day, every night, every silence between heartbeats.
How dare you write to him?
It was beneath an admiral to take the controls.
But today, Caleb didn’t care.
Protocol could burn. Chain of command, procedure, rank — all of it. He needed to feel the illusion of control again, even if it came in the form of a military jet barely older than some of the crew still stationed on the tarmac.
He didn’t ask the pilots to stand down. He ordered them. One glance at his face, and none of them argued.
The rain was steady now, carving grooves into the tarmac like old scars. The cockpit smelled of steel, vinyl, and cold systems spinning up to life.
Caleb slid into the pilot’s seat. No ceremony. No reverence. Just quiet, deliberate motion. The envelope — that stupid, unbearable envelope — landed in the co-pilot’s seat like a stone slab. Heavy enough, he thought, to drag the aircraft down with him.
And maybe that would’ve been for the best.
He ran the preflight checks by muscle memory.
Fuel quantity. Sufficient. Confirmed crossfeed valve closed.
Hydraulic pressure. Green. Full.
Flight controls. Surfaces free and correct — elevator, rudder, ailerons.
Navigation systems. Online. INS aligned. No drift.
Avionics. Check.
Oxygen. Flow normal, regulators armed.
Engine start. Ignition armed. Starter sequence began. One engine, then the second — turbines spun up with that low whine that sounded too much like a scream if you listened the wrong way.
He couldn’t breathe. But he was going through the motions.
Flight clearance received. Tower approved for immediate departure.
The jet eased down the taxiway, engines rumbling like restrained violence beneath him. His hands on the throttle were steady. Too steady.
Takeoff checklist. Flaps set. Trim neutral. Brakes released.
He pushed the throttles forward.
The aircraft responded like it wanted to run. Acceleration pressed him back into the seat. Rain lashed the windscreen. The moment the wheels left the tarmac, the ache in his chest twisted tighter.
There. He was airborne.
And it didn’t help. Not like it used to.
Altitude climbed. Ten thousand. Twenty. Forty. Cruising.
He stabilized at 37,000 feet and did something he almost never allowed himself: he engaged the autopilot.
The moment the system took over, he tore off the harness with a sharp, frustrated motion. The metal buckle clattered against the seat.
His hand reached for the envelope.
It was still warm from being pressed to his chest. He turned it over in his fingers, letting the edge bite into his skin. He very nearly tore it in half.
But he didn’t.
Instead, he broke the seal, carefully, precisely — like disarming a mine.
And there it was. That handwriting. Your handwriting.
Messy. Crooked. Rushed. Impatient. Every letter a little too hard, as though you’d nearly punctured the page. You had always gripped your pen like it was the only thing anchoring you to the world. You hadn’t changed.
For a long moment, Caleb didn’t read. He just stared at the shapes of the words. The loops and slants. Like he was watching you from the other side of interrogation glass — close enough to touch, unreachable all the same.
And then he started.
Once. Again. A third time.
Each pass scraped deeper, like reading the report of his own autopsy.
His hand trembled. He didn’t even realize he was breathing too fast until the cockpit hissed a low-pressure warning. He ignored it.
He slammed the harness back across his chest and keyed the comms.
“Control, this is Delta-Two-Alpha requesting vector for immediate return.”
There was a pause.
“…Confirm that, Delta-Two-Alpha. Reason for return?”
He took the yoke again, flicked autopilot disengage with a sharp tap. The jet jerked slightly, now fully under his hand.
“Command directive,” he said flatly.
Another pause.
“Understood. Return approved. You’re clear for turn on heading zero-one-five.”
Caleb didn’t wait. He threw the aircraft into a steep bank, cutting through the clouds like a blade.
He knew where to find you. He had known before he stepped into the cockpit. He had known standing at the grave, the envelope still untouched.
But he hadn’t wanted to find you then.
Now?
Now he didn’t have a choice.
The viewing deck of the Linkon TV Tower was nearly empty.
Closing time was drawing near, but the rain had chased away what few tourists and visitors remained. You stood at the railing in a long lavender raincoat, hood pulled deep over your head. The fabric clung to your arms and back, soaked through. Your sneakers were long past wet, the chill of the concrete seeping into your bones. But you didn’t move. Didn’t shift. As if the weather had pinned you here in time, or maybe memory had.
The city below had disappeared — swallowed by fog, by stormclouds, by everything that refused to be seen. No headlights, no stars. Just the endless roar of rain and the cold sting of being the last one left.
Your fingers rested lightly on the metal bar. Your eyes were turned upward, into the vast nothing. Watching clouds drift across an invisible sky. You might have stood there till morning, if not for the footsteps behind you.
Slow. Measured. Not security. Too quiet.
“I would give a lot to know what you’re thinking right now,” said a voice too worn to belong to the man you once loved.
You turned slowly.
Caleb stood a few paces away, still in uniform. The rain hadn’t spared him. His hair was damp, the shoulders of his coat dark with water. But he stood like the storm couldn’t touch him. Like it wouldn’t dare.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” you said.
“I almost didn’t.”
You smiled — not from joy, but from pain that needed a face.
“I thought maybe you’d moved on by now,” you said. “Married. Found peace.”
“I’m not built for peace,” he said flatly.
“No,” you murmured, “you weren’t. But I hoped... maybe you’d become someone who was.”
He took a step forward, his boots clicking against the wet metal. “You hoped I’d forget you.”
“I hoped you’d survive me.”
The words hit. You saw it — the smallest shift in his jaw, the flicker in his eyes. But his voice stayed calm.
“You knew I wouldn’t.”
You didn’t deny it.
“I wrote the letter because I needed to say it. Not because I thought you'd ever read it.”
“You didn’t want me to.”
You hesitated. “No.”
“Then why leave it where I’d find it?”
Another silence. Then: “Because I wanted to believe you wouldn’t come.”
Caleb’s expression didn’t change, but his gaze sharpened. The air between you grew tighter, like a pressure drop before impact.
“I read it,” he said.
Your breath caught. “I know.”
“I know everything now.”
You nodded.
He didn’t shout. He didn’t accuse. But his voice was a blade dragged slowly across flesh.
“You could’ve told me. You could’ve stayed.”
“I couldn’t breathe, Caleb.” You didn’t mean to say it out loud — but the truth had a weight of its own. “You loved me like I was something to guard. Not someone to hold.”
“I was trying to keep you safe.”
“And I was trying to live.”
His lips parted, as if to argue — but nothing came. Because you both knew: you were right. And so was he.
You took a step closer, rain dripping from your sleeves.
“I didn’t want you to be there when it started. I didn’t want you to watch me fade.”
“And now?”
“Now it’s too late.”
Caleb looked at you like you were a puzzle he used to know how to solve. Like something once sacred that had rewritten itself in a language he couldn’t read.
“I’m not asking you to forgive me,” you said.
“Good.”
Your breath hitched — not from the cruelty of it, but from the honesty.
“I just wanted to see you again,” you whispered. “Once. Before...”
You didn’t finish. You didn’t need to.
He stepped closer. This time, the space between you nearly vanished. But he didn’t reach out.
“You always ran when it got quiet,” he said.
“And you never let anything rest.”
He didn’t deny it.
“I hated you,” he said, voice rough. “For five years, I hated you for leaving. For taking my soul with you and vanishing into nothing.”
You closed your eyes.
“And now?”
He hesitated.
Then: “Now I just hate that there’s nothing left to save.”
The rain didn’t stop. Neither of you moved.
But something broke, quietly — not between you, but inside you both.
And maybe that was the beginning.
Or the end.
He stepped closer. Not to you — no. To the railing.
Leaning casually, almost carelessly, over the edge, he stared down into the city’s abyss. The lights below were blurred by fog, rain, and altitude — a slow-motion fall into nothingness. Even resting like that, shoulders relaxed, head tilted slightly as he looked down, Caleb seemed impossibly distant. Removed.
Admiral.
Not just a rank anymore. Not a role. It had consumed him — the strictness, the cold efficiency, the discipline etched into every movement. He was the title now. All calculation, no softness. All control, no warmth. A man weaponized by grief, then sanctified by command.
“Do you remember the last time we were here?” you asked quietly, your voice fragile, almost drowned out by the rain.
He didn’t answer at first.
You studied his face — the years had been merciful to him in the way they only are to men shaped by war. Just over thirty. A trace of silver at the temples. Skin clean-shaven, jaw locked, cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass.
He looked like marble come alive. Cold, perfect, untouchable.
You wanted to reach out. Just to touch his face. To feel warmth. To remind yourself he was still made of skin, not armor.
“We saved a lot of people that day,” you added, almost to fill the silence. “From Wanderer.”
“I remember,” he said, his voice low. “On the train ride here, you fell asleep on my shoulder. There was some romantic song playing on loop — too sweet to ever be real.”
You smiled, barely. It hurt. “Caleb… would you still do it now? Jump like that? Into the void. As if death is something you can bargain with. Something you can command to pause.”
He tilted his head, still watching the city below.
“I can stop a fall. I can control flight paths. Bend gravity to my will. But not death. If I could…” He paused. His voice dropped lower, quieter. “I wouldn’t be here.”
When he turned to you, the change was surgical. A full turn of his body, attention locked on yours. His eyes scanned your face with precision, not feeling.
He looked at you like he was trying to remember.
Like five years had burned away not just the love, but the memory of it.
“Tell me,” he said, “do you think I’ll be able to save you this time?”
The question landed like a shard of ice in your spine. You flinched — not visibly, but inside, where it counted.
There was something wrong in his voice. Not anger. Not desperation. Just… wrong. Like he was rehearsing something he didn’t understand.
“I’m not asking you to save me,” you said. “I never wanted that. I never wanted to be your project. Your fragile rose behind glass — something that, if shattered, would take your whole world with it.”
He didn’t reply. But he looked away. Not down. Not up. Just… away.
And then — a sound behind you.
A door creaked. Footsteps, hesitant. The voice of someone too young, too aware.
“I— I’m sorry— sir— admiral— I didn’t— The tower’s closed, I—” The poor security guard stumbled over every word as he recognized the face that had appeared in military reports, field briefings, and news feeds. The ghost in the sky. The man who never fell.
Caleb turned slightly toward him, not quite sighing — more like resetting.
“Where are you staying?”
You blinked. “Caleb—”
He raised a hand, not unkindly, but final.
“Where.”
You swallowed. “The Midland Motel. Down by the shuttle terminal.”
He said nothing, just nodded once and began walking. You followed.
You knew you shouldn’t. But you were too tired to argue. Too wet, too cold, too broken.
He didn’t offer his coat. Didn’t say a word. Just pressed the call button for the lift and waited in silence.
The car ride was quiet. The city blurred past in gray, streaked neon. His vehicle — black, sleek, military grade but dressed as civilian — moved like a shadow through the storm.
He didn’t look at you. Didn’t speak.
You kept your arms wrapped around yourself in the damp raincoat, your soaked sleeves sticking to your skin.
He brought you to a hotel you didn’t recognize. Modern, expensive, silent. The kind of place that smells like clean money and consequence.
At the front desk, he handed over a card — no hesitation — and said, “One bedroom suite. Highest floor. Immediate check-in.”
No questions asked.
The elevator ride was wordless. The carpet muffled your wet shoes.
He opened the door. The lights came on softly. Beige walls, minimalist decor, glass and brushed steel. Tasteful. Lifeless.
He handed you a folded robe from the closet. “Bathroom’s through there,” he said. “Go shower. I’ll order food.”
You took the robe with slow hands, staring at it for a moment too long.
Then, wordlessly, you turned and walked into the bathroom. The door closed with a quiet click behind you.
Warmth. Dry tile. A mirror.
And, for just a moment — silence.The kind that wraps around you like grief you haven’t cried yet.
The robe was too large. Too soft. Too warm.
You could have wrapped it around yourself three times and still gotten lost in it.
On the small round table near the panoramic window, a meal waited. Caleb hadn’t bothered to order anything you used to love. He remembered, of course — that was never the issue. He simply hadn’t tried. The selection was closer to a field ration than a dinner: high protein, complex carbs, dense fats. Efficient. Precise.
You weren’t hungry. You hadn’t been for a long time.
He’d removed the jacket of his uniform, now down to a crisp white shirt with sleeves rolled up to the elbow. And still, something in the room made it feel wrong to sit without permission. He didn’t even look at you — just gave a practiced gesture toward the chair.
You sat on the very edge of it.
Your gaze lingered on the veins in his forearms, raised and defined — marks of control, of command. Of power. Hands that once cradled you through entire nights, hands that had trembled against your skin as if you were the only thing in the world keeping him human.
Now, all of it felt like a dream.
You broke off a piece of warm bread. Turned toward the rain outside. Watched the world bleed behind the glass.
“Did you see a doctor?” he asked.
Not worry. Not fear. Just curiosity. Clinical, detached. A data point to confirm.
You shrugged slowly. “Yeah. Dr. Zane was the first. Then came the rest.”
“And he didn’t tell me anything?”
“Doctor-patient confidentiality,” you said. “I asked him not to.”
“So I wasn’t worthy of the truth?”
You exhaled — sharp and stung, like you’d been slapped. “Caleb… do I really have to explain this? I was trying to spare you the pain.”
He laughed. Cold. Harsh. Suffocating.
The room, already dim, felt darker suddenly. As though the lights had dimmed in reverence to his bitterness.
“Spare me? Oh, brilliant. You really did a hell of a job. I didn’t suffer at all. You disappeared and I just breathed a sigh of relief, right? Out of sight, out of mind — that’s what you think?”
“It’s not the same.”
He slammed a fist down on the table. Plates jumped. Glass cracked under his hand.
“If you had died in my arms, at least I would’ve known. I would’ve known you didn’t leave because I wasn’t enough. Because I loved you too hard, too deep, too much. I would’ve known you had no choice.”
“You wouldn’t have let me die in peace!” you shot back, voice rising. “You would’ve torn the damn planet apart looking for a cure. You would’ve ripped through every system, Farspace tunnel, shouting that it’s almost over, that we’re so close, just hold on—”
He stared at you. Unblinking. Breathing slow.
The storm inside him didn’t explode. It collapsed, inward — contained by the vice grip of discipline. Of rank.
“If loving you with everything I had — completely, recklessly, overwhelmingly — was a crime…” His voice was low now. Not soft. Deadly. “Then yes. I’m guilty. You pronounced the sentence without a trial, Pip-squeak. And I served it. Five years, no parole.”
He stood, pushing away the untouched plate. The chair didn’t scrape. It moved like a blade being sheathed.
“But let me tell you something.” He turned his gaze on you like ice hardening in place. “Love, when betrayed and ground into dust, doesn’t always fade. Sometimes… it turns into contempt.”
The word hit like a slap across the soul.
You couldn’t speak. Your breath stalled in your throat.
“Eat something,” he said. “And get some rest.”
“And you—?”
“I have too much work to babysit you.”
“I don’t want to stay here!”
He paused by the door. Turned half toward you — not enough to be kind.
“Well, that’s a shame,” he said. “Because I do. Sorry, sweetheart, but tonight? You don’t get a choice. I may be, as you so astutely pointed out, a cold-hearted bastard — but even now, I can’t let you wander the streets in wet clothes, racing to meet your own end.”
With that, he slid back into his uniform jacket in one fluid, dismissive motion and stepped out.
The door closed behind him with mechanical precision. The lock flashed red. Like a warning.
Your only way out now was through the window.
You didn’t remember falling asleep.
Most likely, you just shut down — the body giving out where the soul had already emptied. There were no tears. No breakdown. Just the vast, aching silence of being done. As if the last thread tethering you to this world had snapped soundlessly in the night.
Caleb had been the only family you ever had. He didn’t want to be your partner anymore — that, at least, made sense. But now he didn’t even want to be your brother. Not your anchor. Not your history.
He had become a stranger. And you had made him that.
You had no one to blame. No one to curse. The damage had your fingerprints all over it — deliberate, cruel, irreversible.
You regretted it. You knew it was a mistake.
But what could you do now?
Five years ago, you walked away — selfishly, completely — leaving him alone with the bleeding wreckage of his own love. And you hadn't spared yourself either. You’d just taken the pain and buried it, hoping time would do what courage couldn’t.
And now, with the same selfish silence, you had come back. Uninvited. Unexplained. Unhealed. You didn’t know what you’d hoped for — redemption, maybe. A flicker of warmth. Or just… recognition.
But instead, you lit the same fuse all over again.
You knew, even before boarding the train, that he’d find you. Even if he wasn’t looking. Even if he didn’t want to.
And still — you came.
The knock at the door startled you. You shot up, heart hammering in your throat.
Room service? Caleb? No. Caleb wouldn’t knock.
A second later, the door’s lock blinked with coded lights, and a young man in a tailored aide’s uniform stepped in. He was polite enough to knock. But not enough to wait for a response.
Not Liam. Someone much younger.
“Good morning, ma’am,” he said with crisp formality, almost saluting before catching himself.
He tried — really tried — to keep his gaze level, but you could see the questions in his eyes. He didn’t know who you were, why you were important, or why the Admiral had seen fit to personally house you in a suite normally reserved for political dignitaries.
“I was ordered to bring you a change of clothes and arrange breakfast,” he said. “Admiral Caleb instructed me to return in thirty minutes and escort you to the hospital.”
You blinked. “Tell the Admiral that’s unnecessary.”
The aide offered a tight, apologetic smile. It didn’t reach his eyes. “He also told me to inform you that, if you refuse to come voluntarily, I’m authorized to use force.”
The words hit harder than you expected.
You swallowed, fighting the wave of humiliation. Of course he would go this far. You shouldn’t be surprised. And yet, it burned.
“I see,” you said quietly. “Then I’ll just have coffee.”
The aide hesitated. “Ma’am—”
“You’re not going to shove breakfast down my throat, are you?” you snapped, sharper than intended. “Fine. For the sake of compromise — coffee. And a yogurt. That’s it, Lieutenant.”
He nodded with practiced obedience. “Yes, ma’am.”
And then he left, leaving you alone with your rage and your helplessness.
The coffee tasted bitter. The yogurt was sour. Your taste buds had changed — everything had. Food had stopped being pleasure long ago. It was fuel now, nothing more. You absorbed calories. Not flavor.
Another memory — gone. Another joy stripped from a life grown colorless. Another piece of yourself you hadn’t noticed was missing… until Caleb reminded you it was never coming back.
Some part of you expected they'd take you to Akso Hospital.
It would’ve made sense. Zayne knew your case better than anyone — your body, your history, the long and winding ruins of your health. But Caleb didn’t trust him anymore. Not enough to put your life in his hands.
Zayne had already failed him once — by keeping your secret.
Instead, they brought you to an unfamiliar place. Private, sterile, quiet. Too many white walls. Too much controlled light.
Caleb was already there, standing in the center of a vast conference room surrounded by doctors in crisp lab coats.
Even without a word, he commanded the space. In uniform, he looked taller than any of them. Broader. More permanent. Even the chief physician seemed to defer to him instinctively, as though gravity itself bent slightly in his direction.
You paused in the doorway, watching the way their attention latched to him — every word, every breath, every small flick of his hand. He wasn’t just giving orders. He was delivering truth.
And it made your blood boil.
With silent, focused fury, you crossed the room. Stopped too close. Closer than decorum allowed. Closer than memory permitted.
He didn’t move. Didn’t flinch.
“You’re doing exactly what I was afraid of,” you hissed, voice low and sharp, aimed straight at his throat. “I’m not a lab rat. I’m not your property. You don’t get to manage me. I have a right to my own choices.”
He looked you over slowly, without shame or apology — from your scuffed shoes to the oversized hoodie and jeans that hung loose on your frame. He’d remembered your size, but even so, they fit like clothes left behind by a body that used to be stronger.
“Fine,” he said simply. “You can leave.”
You blinked. Taken aback. Then pivoted sharply. “And I will.”
“Just know,” he said, his voice still maddeningly calm, “if you stay — I’ll stay too. If you stop running, you’ll have the chance… to live what time you have left not alone. Not in silence.”
You froze.
One breath. Another.
Your shoulders sagged. The sharpness in your spine dulled. And slowly, you turned back to him.
His face hadn’t changed. That same cold mask. Not unkind — just unreadable.
“You’d stay?” you asked, barely audible.
He exhaled, finally. A quiet thing. His fingers brushed the edge of a metallic button on his uniform — a nervous tic, barely there.
“We were family once,” he said softly. “No one should die alone.”
Your lips parted slightly, as if to answer — but no words came.
There was no sentiment in his voice. No drama. No heartbreak. Just a statement of fact.
Death wasn’t something that scared him. It was a language he knew fluently — one he had spoken too many times, in too many places, across too many battlefields. He’d seen it. Worn it. Come back from it.
Even now, he didn’t flinch from yours.
It was just another ending. Another line of code. A final set of coordinates.
No pleading. No shaking. No denial.
And somehow — that was exactly what you needed. Not mercy. Not hope. Just someone to stay.
For once, it didn’t matter what you deserved. It mattered that you weren’t alone in this room. Not anymore.
The carousel of tests spun you until nightfall.
Scanners, probes, bloodwork, neurological assessments — round after round until your skin felt bruised from inside out. You were growing irritable, frayed at the seams, more from the dread than the procedures themselves.
They weren’t just gathering data. They were preparing to keep you here. Not for a night. Not even for a week. You could feel it — that low hum of administrative inevitability, ready to steal your time in the name of preservation.
You hadn’t even tied the hospital robe back around your chest when the door hissed open again.
“Oh, do come in. Why not take a piece of my liver while you’re at it?” you snapped, not bothering to turn.
“Your liver’s fine,” came the reply.
Of course. Caleb.
You turned too fast — too defensively — forgetting the robe was still gaping open. Not exposing skin, no. That wasn’t the issue.
It was the mark.
A thick, black web, raised and pulsing, spidered across your chest, the origin rooted deep in the center — where the Aethor Core was housed. Where power should have blossomed. Where your strength was supposed to live.
But it didn’t pulse with life. It cracked. You were coming apart, slowly, precisely, down the middle. Left from right. Light from shadow. Every beat of your heart was a fracture.
You covered your chest too late. He had seen.
He approached, unhurried. Unstoppable. The kind of step he used when nothing in the world could change his mind.
He pulled off one glove with a smooth, practiced motion and pressed his palm to the place where the damage burned hottest.
Right over your heart. Where it splintered loudest.
You closed your eyes. Pain hit like a detonator — sharp, white-hot, cellular. Like a memory of impact. A blade. A bomb. A scream that had never been given voice.
“At any moment,” you whispered, answering the question he hadn’t asked.
He nodded. No surprise. He already knew.
He knew what the Evol had become. That your body couldn’t carry what it was never designed to hold. That the Core — meant to empower — was now the source of slow, elegant devastation.
He knew you were made of chaos. Born to fracture. Destined to burn.
You, who had broken him. And so many others in your wake. Your love had never healed. It had only bled slower.
He didn’t flinch.
He pulled away from your chest, reached for the t-shirt folded over the back of the chair, and helped you slip into it. His touch was clinical. Gentle. Resigned.
Not cold. Not warm. Just necessary.
You swallowed against the lump rising in your throat. It didn’t move.
“Come on,” he said, voice suddenly softer. “Let’s go.”
You blinked. “More tests?”
“No. There's a fair. In our old district. Crowds, noise. Bad music. Terrible food.”
You snorted — just once — but held back the gallows humor itching to spill from your lips. Too early for jokes about death-day parades.
“All right,” you murmured. Pulled your hoodie over your head. Slipped on your sneakers.
You bent to tie the laces, but before your fingers reached them, Caleb was already kneeling before you.
Kneeling.
Your breath hitched.
Just like back then. Just like a lifetime ago.
You shifted your weight awkwardly, as if the floor had gone uneven beneath your feet. The moment was too intimate. Too real.
“An Admiral tying shoelaces,” you said with a weak smirk. “Now that’s more paradoxical than the Colonel ever was.”
He looked up at you. Fingers tightening the knot. A ghost of a smile pulled at his mouth — brief, boyish, and so devastatingly familiar it made your chest ache.
“Let’s agree I outrank your dignity today,” he murmured. “Don’t make me invoke protocol Alpha-Pip-Squeak.”
At some point, it started to feel like time had folded in on itself.
The sounds, the smells, the fireworks, the shrieking laughter of children, the curling smoke from endless food stalls — it all swirled into a surreal kaleidoscope of celebration. A world too alive.
Too bright.
It felt wrong. Your heart was failing, slowly betraying you, yet the world kept spinning, singing, dancing without hesitation.
At first, it stung. The unfairness of it. The cruelty.
You didn’t want to die. You didn’t want to vanish into memory.
You had dreamt of children — your children — running through crowds with cotton candy bigger than their faces, covered in chocolate and ice cream. You used to see your future so clearly: a wide house with a garden and a swingset, and somewhere up in the attic, a claw machine you’d insisted on installing, turning the whole floor into a chaotic arcade.
Your eyes filled with tears.
You blinked them away, catching Caleb watching you. You smiled.
“Smoke,” you murmured. “Got in my eyes.”
He nodded. Didn’t believe you, but let you have it.
He wasn’t wearing his Admiral’s uniform anymore. Jeans. A T-shirt with a stupid graphic. A jacket. A cap. He looked familiar. Almost close. Almost yours.
You walked slowly, shoulders brushing occasionally, hands near but never touching. Neither of you tried to bridge the gap. It would’ve felt dishonest. And you were grateful for that honesty. Even if it hurt.
You took a few shots at the game booths. Your hands still remembered. When you won an oversized plush flamingo, you handed it to a girl with bright red ribbons in her pigtails. She couldn’t have been more than six.
You asked her name. Rolled it around on your tongue. You could’ve named a daughter that.
Caleb noticed when your steps started to falter. Without a word, he led you toward an empty table at the edge of the crowd.
While he went for food, you let yourself sink back into the chair, exhaustion tugging hard at your spine. Your eyelids fluttered, but you refused to let sleep steal this. This might not be happiness, but it wasn’t pain.
And that was enough.
He came back with a platter full of street food. You wouldn’t taste much of it. But you remembered. You knew. And for now, that was enough, too.
“It’s a clear night,” he said. “Wanna ride the Ferris wheel?”
You nodded. You’d say yes to anything that would delay the return to sterile rooms, to IV drips and ticking clocks.
The cabin swayed gently as it rose. Wind cooled your cheeks, carrying away the stubborn tears that kept threatening to fall. But you wouldn’t cry. You wouldn’t let grief ruin this night.
“Are you still angry?” you asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you still… hate me?”
He didn’t answer right away.
His gaze drifted over the glowing chaos below, where lights bled together into a gold-and-rainbow puddle of motion and life.
“No,” he said at last. “And I never did.”
He turned toward you, reached up, and tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear.
“I said it in anger. I was too furious to mean it.”
“I deserved it.”
“You deserved my anger,” he agreed. “But not this. Not a slow, painful fade. Not the kind of desperation that makes you choose impossible things.”
“Caleb…” your voice cracked. “Please… don’t say goodbye yet. It’s not time.”
“I’m trying to be honest,” he murmured. His eyes dropped to your hands, folded like a small prayer in your lap. He looked like he wanted to reach for them — but didn’t. “I’ve learned what hiding the truth from the people you love can cost.”
You swallowed. “I’m… still someone you love?”
He nodded, steady. “There’s no one closer.”
“Then promise me—”
“No.” The word was sharp. Too fast. Too raw.
“No,” he repeated. “I won’t even try.”
“But you could be happy again. If you let yourself open up—”
“Could you?” he cut in. “Could you promise that if I go first, you’ll find someone else? That you’ll love another man? Hold his hand, kiss him, like I never existed?”
Your answer was immediate.
“No.”
Too quick. Too honest.
And he knew. You both did.
Whatever tied you together was deeper than flesh, deeper than time. You could peel away the skin, erase the past, burn the memories— but your soul would still reach for his in the dark.
And his would still be holding on. Waiting.
Until the next life.
He didn’t take you back to the hospital.
By now, he knew what you had understood five years ago. It was pointless. There was no cure.
You lowered yourself carefully onto the bed, curled up on your side. You looked at him — just a silhouette in the dark, and still somehow larger than life.
“Stay with me tonight,” you whispered.
He didn’t hesitate.
He slipped off his jacket, climbed in beside you. Didn’t touch. Just lay there — facing you.
You stared into each other’s eyes for a long time. Until they closed on their own. Until sleep claimed you.
And the nightmare followed.
The same one, always the same — your body splitting apart, bones breaking under pressure, your chest tearing open as the Core rejected you, gave birth to a creature that looked almost like you. But not you.
Black. Cold. Merciless.
Your body left behind, hollow — a deflated skin, a costume discarded.
You screamed. But you didn’t wake.
You thrashed, fighting against the blanket, clawing at your chest, trying to force the monster back inside, back into the dark where it belonged.
Hands. Strong, steady, familiar.
They caught you. Held you. Rocked you.
Lips brushed your temple. Words — soft, foreign — spoken in a language your heart remembered even if your ears couldn’t make them out.
“No… please…”
Caleb held you like a child, pressing your face against his chest.
Tears — hot, fast — fell onto your cheeks. Not yours.
His.
“I’ve got you, sweetheart. You hear me? You’re not alone. I’m right here. I’m not leaving. I swear to God, I’m not letting go. Come back to me. Please, come back…”
“Caleb…”
“I’m here. I’m here, baby.” His arms tightened, anchoring you in place.
“I’m so scared,” you whispered, fragile.
“I know, Pip. I know.” His voice cracked — raw, guttural. “I’ll take it all. All the pain. I’ll kill every monster in your path. I’ll tear down the night itself. Just say the word, and I’ll burn this world to the ground to bring you peace.”
“I love you…” The words came with sobs now, spilling out, no longer held back.
His lips kissed your forehead. Your temple. Your cheeks.
“And I love you. My girl. My sunshine. My joy. My… Pip-Squeak.”
“I’m sorry I stole this time from us.”
He shook his head, still holding you like you might slip through his fingers.
“I forgave you a long time ago. How could I not forgive you? God, how could I ever stay mad at you? I’ll be here, right here, until your very last breath.”
He kept whispering. Murmuring softness into your hair. As if the five years of agony had never happened.
As if you’d never left.
And slowly, gently, you drifted back into sleep. Held in his arms. Wrapped in his warmth. In his love.
With one thought cradling your soul: If the universe is kind — let me go like this. Let me go in his arms. Let me go loved.
All morning, Caleb didn’t let go of you.
Like he was making up for every moment of distance, he kept touching you — a fleeting kiss, a gentle brush of fingers, little gestures wrapped in warmth and care that tore your heart in half.
You didn’t want to let go of him either.
And when you loved each other, it wasn’t just love — it was desperation.
Through trembling limbs, through broken breath and quiet cries, the pain poured out. The guilt. The fear.
It wasn’t sex. It was absolution.
Then he drove again.
Said he wanted to show you something. You didn’t look out the window. You looked at him. Held his hand. Silence said more than words ever could.
You only grew uneasy when the car pulled up in front of a building — far too official to be anything like a park or a gallery.
“Where are we?”
“It’s… a military lab,” he said, with a small, apologetic smile. Then he kissed you again. “Just need to drop in. Work.”
You followed him inside.
A narrow, impersonal room. Cold lighting. The air too clean.
Caleb gestured to a chair. You sat. He knelt next to you. Kissed you again — too gently. Too long. Something about it felt… wrong.
“I’m sorry, Pips,” he whispered. “I just… I can’t do nothing.”
“Caleb? What are you doing—?”
You saw the glint of metal. Just before the needle plunged into your artery.
“CALEB!”
“Even if you hate me for the rest of your life, I have to try. You have to live, baby.”
You wanted to scream, to shove him, to run — but your limbs turned to jelly.
You slumped into his arms. And everything went dark.
The lab was silent.
Sterile.
Lifeless.
Two rooms. One pane of glass between them — just wide enough for you not to miss a single second of the show.
You were strapped to a hospital bed. Wires trailing from your arms and chest. Your head throbbed.
Across the glass — Caleb.
“No. No, Caleb, stop! This is insane!”
Your voice cracked, but your chest— your chest was… light. The weight, the crushing pain — gone.
You began to thrash. The heart monitor shrieked in alarm.
You pulled at the restraints — raw, bloody skin tearing against metal cuffs.
You didn’t stop. Didn’t care.
Slippery with blood, your wrists finally slipped free — it felt like peeling flesh from bone.
You tore off the tubes. Fell from the bed.
Your legs wouldn’t hold you. So you crawled.
Crawled to the glass.
“CALEB!”
You slammed your fists against it, over and over again.
He lay on the other side — restrained. But the straps couldn’t hold the violent spasms. And the glass couldn’t muffle the sound of his screaming.
“CALEB! YOU PROMISED!”
You forced yourself upright, pounded your fists until your knuckles split open.
“You promised… you said you’d stay… you said you’d be there until my last breath— CALEB— !”
Your voice disintegrated into a scream.
You kept hammering. Like a moth caught in a jar, helplessly throwing itself against the cruel, unyielding glass.
Kept crying.
The door hissed open behind you. A man in a lab coat.
You lunged at him — knocked him flat. Ran.
Another body in the hallway — you shoved them aside.
You found the next door. Slammed your palm to the entry panel.
It opened.
“CALEB—!”
You collapsed onto him, draping your entire body over his, as if your weight alone could stop the process.
Black veins had begun to trace up his neck. The same pattern that once bloomed across your chest.
“How could you…?” Your voice broke into pieces. “You can’t leave me… you promised…”
For a moment, his eyes found yours. His hand twitched. Reached.
You seized it. Gripped tight.
Tried to unbuckle the straps.They didn’t give.
Hands grabbed you from behind. Dragged you.
You fought like a wild thing. Thrashed. Kicked. One of them fell — you crawled back to him.
Then two more came. You were screaming. Your throat raw.
“No! Don’t take him! DON’T TAKE HIM FROM ME!”
And just before you could lunge forward again—
Another needle.
Your body gave out. Everything dimmed. Collapsed.
But even in that final, spiraling moment—
You whispered one last time: “Caleb… please… don’t leave me…”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Your heart hadn’t beaten this steady in years.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
It would’ve been better if it had stopped.
You didn’t open your eyes. You didn’t ask where you were. You knew.
You were in a world where he was gone.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
You used to live with physical pain — you knew how to endure it. You knew how to die with it. You’d pictured your grave more than once — just beside the one marked “Josephine.”
The one where, for a time, they’d already carved “Caleb.” Now they’d just correct the second date. As if it had all been a clerical error.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“Shut up,” you muttered, ripping the sensor from your finger.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.
The monitor whined in protest.
You clamped your hands over your ears, buried your head under the pillow.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeep.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
“What the hell?!”
Another monitor?
You pulled the pillow away. Opened your eyes.
On the second cot, just a few feet away— Caleb.
Alive. Awake.
His monitor was singing the same rhythm. And on his lips — the hint of a smile.
“You bastard!”
You flung the pillow at him. He caught it.
“Did you mourn me?”
“That’s still pending! You—YOU!!! You took my Aethor Core?!”
You looked around for something else to throw. He raised his hands in surrender.
“Easy, Pip-Squeak. I didn’t take anything. Your precious Core is right where it belongs — in that merciless, vengeful little heart of yours.”
“I’m merciless? You made me believe you were—!”
You stopped.
Because you knew. God, you knew you would’ve done the same.
You slid off the cot carefully, clutching the IV stand for balance. Crossed the short distance to his bedside, testing each step. Sat down on the edge.
You reached for his hand. Fingers trembling, unsure. But the moment you touched him — he was warm.
Not fading. Not cold. Not gone.
Warm, alive, present.
And it shattered something inside you.
“You weren’t dying because of the Core itself,” he said gently. “It was the energy feedback loop. The Core stopped syncing with your biopattern. Basically, your system crashed, and the power cell started pulling directly from your heart to survive. Which, you know, kinda fatal.”
“So what… you swapped our batteries?”
“In layman’s terms — yes.”
“And that doesn’t kill you?”
“My protocore’s a lazy old tank,” he grinned. “It got a nice boost from yours. Just enough to last me, I think.”
“You swear that’s the truth?” you arched a skeptical brow.
“I do.” He reached up, hesitantly, brushing your cheek.
You didn’t pull away.
“I told you I’d take your pain.”
“And you also promised you’d stay with me till my last breath,” you whispered, lips nearly brushing his.
“And I intend to keep that promise,” he said, pulling you close and kissing you. “And if you try to run again, just so you know — I’ve got a year’s supply of those sedative syringes.”
You let out a small laugh, nudged him gently, then climbed onto his cot, curling into his side, head on his shoulder.
“I’ll keep that in mind in case you pull another stunt like that. Admiral.”
His arm slipped around your waist. His grin widened — softer, familiar. Like the old days. Like he was just your Caleb again.
“Well,” he said, “those are consequences I’m willing to accept.”
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
His heart beat stronger. And yours — yours found his rhythm. Matched it.
Perfectly. Just like always.
Because the truth was simple.
You couldn’t exist in a world where one of you was missing.
#love and deepspace#lads#lads caleb#caleb x reader#caleb x mc#caleb x you#storytelling#fanfic#fanfiction#caleb#love and deepspace caleb#angst#Spotify
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Come Back To Me | Eris x Reader
Eris x Reader ft Azriel | Experiencing some pregnancy complications, Azriel is left with no choice but to seek out Eris for help.
a/n: This is pt 10 and a little under 4.5K words. It's nearly 1am where I live but I couldn't help myself & needed to finish this lol.
warnings: angst, reader is pregnant, mentions of high risk pregnancy, things get a little tense between Eris and Az

Shadows clouded around Eris, blurring his vision and muffling his hearing. Even his keen sense of smell was dulled as Azriel’s shadows coiled around him further. It infuriated him—the lengths the shadowsinger was going to protect your location from him. Your mate.
Azriel had made certain there would be no trail for Eris to follow after this. Not scent, not sound. Not even magic as Azriel had forced him into a bargain, the ink etched onto his arm fresh and burning. Azriel would bring him to you to aid in your situation, but only under strict conditions: Eris would remain only for as long as Azriel allowed and under no circumstance would he be permitted to take you back with him.
Two of the shadows bound themselves around his wrists like shackles, pulsing faintly. As if the bargain was not enough for Azriel. It didn’t matter. His shadows were not enough to suppress the power simmering just beneath his skin. Eris could have fought against the makeshift shackles, easily burning the dark tendrils away. He didn’t though. If the shadows hadn’t picked up on it, he knew it was smarter to let Azriel think they could actually suppress his power.
When the shadows blinding his sight finally lifted from his eyes, Eris found himself standing in a hallway. The first thing he saw was an older fae woman approaching. She wore plain robes, the symbol of a healer embroidered in silver thread on her sleeve. Her gaze landed on Azriel first, the two of them exchanging a look.
Eris’s patience frayed with each second of silence. Azriel had told him almost nothing—only that it urgently concerned you and the baby. And his mind had done the rest, conjuring horrors, each one worse than the last.
“Where is she?”
The healer didn’t flinch. She must have heard that tone countless times in her line of work. Her eyes swept over him, calm and assessing. “You must be the father,” she replied simply.
The word hit him like a blow. Father. He was going to be a father. A title he didn’t think he would acquire so soon. Though, this wasn’t the reason why he hesitated to answer.
It was what him claiming that title meant.
To say the words out loud was to admit a truth that carried weight and danger. It meant putting you and the baby in the crosshairs of enemies who would use them against him. He could only put his trust in Azriel to have picked a discreet and trustworthy healer, even though the paranoia in him was screaming not to trust anyone.
There were very few people Eris trusted and Azriel was not one of them. Not even close. But the way Azriel had held you before he took you away, the unquestionable look in his eyes when he showed up in Autumn to bear the bad news…had the Shadowsinger fallen for you?
Eris couldn’t blame him. You were a precious gem. One he failed to treasure and hold onto as he should’ve. Not because he stopped caring but because he found himself caring too damn much.
And now, he has lost you.
Or as he would rather say, he was losing you. He only had himself to blame, realizing the grave mistake he had made. He would never forgive himself for this, for the way he broke you. He’d give anything to go back, to have been brave enough to say those three words back.
The past was done, and now, he had to fight as he was not ready to admit defeat quite yet. Because even if he’d already shattered whatever future you might’ve had, he had to keep trying with all his might. You meant too much for him not to fight for you back. Especially when the one he was fighting against was Azriel—that Illyrian bastard.
He could lose you and he would have to live with that, if it’s what you wanted. But Eris could not lose you to him.
“I am,” he finally said quietly. He felt as though his throat was closing. His tone was much less demanding when he spoke next. “Who are you?”
The older woman’s lips curved slightly in a polite greeting. “I’m the healer tending to y/n,” she confirmed. “You can call me Madja.”
His eyes flicked to Azriel, who he had no qualms on restraining his emotion on. So he directed all his anger and frustration to the shadowsinger instead. “Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?”
It was Madja who answered, her tone somewhat somber. “Come and see for yourself.”
She moved to the door, painfully slow, and Eris nearly shoved it open himself. His chest ached, heart thudding as he stepped into the room.
The sight stole the breath from his lungs.
The room was warm—too warm— and it seemed, all the heat was coming from you. You were submerged in a porcelain bath that stood out like a sore thumb in the room. Barely conscious, your head rested on a pillow cradled in the lap of a woman, who looked similar in appearance to Azriel.
“‘S’hot…” you murmured, moaning in discomfort.
Eris took a step forward instinctively. The shadows binding his wrists tightened. His stomach twisted as he looked you over. Your skin was flushed and your breathing shallow. You didn’t look good, you looked….
He didn’t let himself finish that thought.
The woman behind you lifted a bucket, pouring ice into the tub. He watched as your body slackened with relief and despite the warning of the shadows, he took another step toward you.
That’s when he saw it.
It wasn't the clearest view, the rippling of water and ice blurring your body. But there was no denying the mottled, angry marks that were spread across your stomach. You were hurt…and the baby…?
“Your fire gremlin is burning her from the inside,” Azriel snarled, venom lacing each word.
“Azriel!” The woman at your side immediately reprimanded.
Eris’s vision tunneled and flames erupted at his fingertips. The shadows at his wrists let out a sharp hiss, immediately fluttering back to their master. So much for pretending. That bastard—that bastard—had the audacity to call his child a gremlin?
Eris’s head turned, amber eyes blazing as they locked onto the shadowsinger.
But Azriel didn’t flinch as the shadows around his wrist had. If anything, he took a step closer toward Eris. There was a challenge in his stance, his wings flaring just enough.
Madja stepped between them, diffusing the spark before it could become a wildfire. “At first, I thought it was a fever. I tried everything I could think of. The ice baths help… but only temporarily,” her voice was tired, her gaze lowering to Eris’s burning hand. “It seems your child has inherited the fire in your blood. Y/N is being burned from within.”
Burned. By their child.
Eris’s eyes hadn’t moved at all from Azriel’s. “How long?”
Azriel hesitated, and that hesitation said more than words ever could. His normally unreadable expression cracked, guilt seeping through the breaks. “Three days.”
Three days. Eris’s rage detonated. Three fucking days. Fire burst from his hands now, licking up his forearms in spiraling flares of molten gold and red.
“You waited that long to come for me?”
Azriel’s guilt twisted swiftly into fury. His eyes darkened as he took another step forward. The two males were no more than a foot apart. “Can you blame me?” he shot back, not wincing when he could feel the dangerous heat radiating off of Eris. “All you’ve ever done is hurt her. She’s like this because of you!”
Flames surged higher around Eris while Azriel’s shadows swarmed in a frenzied storm, like a furious hive on the brink of breaking loose. The room quaked beneath the weight of barely restrained power.
“Well, it doesn’t matter who did and didn’t do what,” Madja cut through, once again diffusing the tension. “The damage is being done as we speak. Y/n is in pain and though I’ve been giving her sedatives to ease it, I don’t know how much longer her body can endure this.”
Eris’s flames went out immediately. His heart squeezed so tightly it ached. That’s why he couldn’t feel you through the bond—why your side of it had gone so still. You’d learned how to shut him out but he felt you every now and then. When your emotions were too much to bear on your own, the bond would crack open just enough. You may or may not have known it but he felt those emotions with you.
“And the baby?” Eris asked, voice barely more than a rasp.
“Restless,” Madja said grimly. “But alive for now. If we can’t find a solution, I fear the child’s life will be in danger. Y/n’s body can no longer safely support the child’s growth.”
Eris swallowed. His gaze turned to you. His mate. The one he had pushed away, trying to protect you from the dangerous politics of his court. He had thought distancing himself would save you.
Instead, all it had done was hurt you. And now, it is killing you.
His thoughts raced back to his mother. To her pregnancies, the sleepless nights she had, the ice baths to keep her from overheating. But his mother had come from a family born of fire. Just like his father. Just like him.
You were not.
This child growing inside you was made of the same flame and now threatening to consume you.
His hand trembled at his side, helplessness threatening to take hold. A feeling he absolutely hated. Until a thought struck him. A memory. A possibility. Maybe, just maybe...
“I think I know how to help,” he breathed.
Eris crossed the last of the distance between you, dropping to his knees beside the tub. One hand clutched the porcelain edge with white-knuckled desperation, while the other reached for you. Your skin was searing to the touch. Too hot–far too hot. And terrifyingly wrong, because your skin had always been much cooler beneath his touch. Always.
You whimpered, wincing away from his touch.
Azriel stepped forward then, his shadows slithering like wild snakes across the floor. “What are you doing—”
“Don’t.” The word was sharp, near feral, spoken through clenched teeth. Eris’s eyes did not leave you. Fumes released from his body, providing a barrier between him and Azriel’s shadows. A warning.
The woman beside you must’ve sensed something in Eris’s gaze. Perhaps, it was his desperation or his determination. She gave him a small nod, shifting her legs and adjusting your head carefully. “Tell me what to do.”
“Just hold her still.”
He tried again, brushing your cheek with the backs of his fingers. You winced—again. “I’m sorry,” he whispered with a small frown.
He didn’t even know what he was apologizing for anymore. For letting you go? For not being here sooner? For giving you a child that was hurting you?
He drew a shaky breath, lifting his hand from your face. He conjured a flame onto his palm. It shimmered and twisted until it gathered into a single, pulsing orb of bright red magic. A kernel of his power. He stared at the orb for a second, sending a prayer to the Cauldron, to the Mother, to anyone or anything that would listen. That this time, he could do something right by you.
Then, he released it. The orb floated from his hand and moved toward you. It hovered above your chest and then, slowly sank into your skin.
There was a stillness. A moment when even Azriel’s shadows held their breath.
Then, you exhaled. A soft, low sigh. Your brows unfurrowed, expression smoothing out. The burn marks on your stomach dulled. The fevered flush began to fade from your cheeks. And finally, the ice in the bath stopped melting so quickly.
Eris felt the bond stir.
You were there on the other side again.
He bowed his head, overcome with relief. A ragged breath left him, silently thanking all entities who heard his prayer. It worked. It had actually worked.
He hadn’t been sure it would. He’d only ever seen something similar like this once. Under the mountain, when his father had given a spark of life to Feyre after she had saved them all. Eris had only hoped that by sharing a kernel of his own power with you, it might do the same. Might change your body, mold it to help carry the fireborn child.
Eris had seen people burn from the inside out before. His own fire could be a gift or a curse depending on how it was wielded. He had never feared it, never hated it. Until now.
Guilt clawed further into his chest. It seemed never-ending at this point. All he seemed to do was bring you pain—trouble after trouble. It’s not like he planned for this. Becoming a father wasn’t something he expected at all. Not now, not yet. And certainly not like this.
None of this was supposed to happen. You were supposed to hate him, to move on. He thought if he was cruel enough, you'd leave and eventually, you’d forget him. You’d go live the life you wanted. The one he couldn’t give you. You’d live free from the curse of loving a man like him.
Eris had never intended for you to carry this burden alone. He had intended to be the only one suffering.
But this fire had already taken root, whether either of you were ready for it or not.
Parenthood was no longer a distant concept. It was here, knocking at his door, demanding to be faced. With it, came fear. For you. How could something so small and unborn already wield such power? How could he not have seen this coming?
He remembered his mother having similar troubles but it wasn’t until her last month of pregnancy that they arose. You couldn’t be that far along. He would’ve definitely noticed then as he could pick up on the shift in your scent now.
Had he known the risks you’d undergo, he would’ve done this for you the moment he found out you were pregnant. Without hesitation, without question. He would’ve handed over every last ember of his power, if it meant you wouldn’t suffer.
Madja was at your side, her hand moving across your fevered skin. First your forehead, then your chest, and finally, she dipped her hand beneath the water to feel your stomach. A look of relief crossed her face as she nodded her head.
“The fever is broken. She seems to be stabilizing now.”
“Thank the Mother,” the woman, still holding you, breathed.
Eris didn’t need Madja to know you were feeling better. He could feel it, the bond awake once more. Your breathing grew more steady. Exhaustion now took over your features, body slumping further against the woman.
“Let’s get her out and dressed,” Madja instructed the other woman.
Eris immediately stood on his feet, ready to help.
Madja stopped him. “We can take it from here.”
Eris told himself to not get upset. It’s clear she meant no harm from it. Though Eris has seen you countless of times, he realized that if you were fully conscious, you may not have wanted him to help you dress. So he took a step back and averted his gaze, letting them help you instead.
His eyes found the shadowsinger’s wings. Azriel, wanting to also protect your decency, had turned his back, facing the wall. Eris’s ears were attentive to the movement behind him. He listened as the women behind him moved and dressed you, bringing you to bed.
One of his fists clenched in unease when he finally heard you speak, your voice a faint murmur.
“My baby…is…okay…?”
“Yes, your baby is okay,” he heard Madja comfort you.
“Good,” you breathed. “M’tired…so, so tired…”
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” he heard the other woman, whose name he still hadn’t bothered to ask for. He should, considering how caring and attentive she’s been to you. “You can rest all you need to.”
A strangled noise came from you, a cry from exhaustion.
Eris hadn’t meant to look. His chest flared with protectiveness at the distressing sound you made, his body moving on instinct. His eyes flicked over his shoulder—just for a second—and they widened.
Your undergarments were in place, the women working together to slip a sleeping gown over your body. It wasn’t the sight of your skin that had his eyes widening. it was what had changed.
He knew your body like the back of his hand, had memorized every inch of it with his eyes and lips. He knew it well enough to immediately pick up on the changes. Your hips had widened and stomach rounded, all to accommodate the baby growing inside you. His baby.
The awe that pierced through him was drowned quickly by guilt as the women blocked his view, settling you further onto the bed. When they drew back from you, he was comforted by the peace slowly easing onto your face. The Illyrian woman smiled down at you as she brushed your hair back.
“I’m going to finish some tonics that she can use to build up her strength again.” Madja said before walking out of the room.
“It’s time for you to go.” Azriel finally spoke, addressing Eris. “There’s no need for you to be here anymore.”
Eris’s body tensed, that anger from earlier flaring back up. He forced his gaze away from you, though it felt like tearing flesh from bone, and turned slowly to face the shadowsinger. “She needs me.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want you.”
Eris winced, as if he had been struck. The blow landed deep. He didn’t know if it was true and that was the worst part.
Though, it didn’t matter if you wanted him or not. What if another complication arose? The power he gave you was a sliver of his but one you never wielded before. He had centuries of mastery while you had none. If something happened, he could help you. Not Azriel. Him.
And what of the baby? Who would be there to guide them once they were of age? Or if they started manifesting them much sooner as it already was proving to be?
“She’s carrying my child. They need me. She can’t go through this alone.”
“They’re not alone,” Azriel said sharply, stepping forward. His shadows were stirring behind him, emphasizing the bright pulsing of his blue siphons. “They have me.”
Eris laughed bitterly. A sound with no humor—just disbelief and hidden pain. “You?” His lip curled. “You expect me to trust you? You knew what was happening and still—still—you waited three days to come find me.”
Azriel’s wings twitched, whether in irritation or restraint, Eris couldn’t tell. But the room suddenly felt smaller. Like it might close in under the pressure of their magic. The two males stood nearly toe-to-toe, just as they had before.
“Because you broke her trust,” Azriel shot back, his shadows coiling tighter, like leashed beasts waiting for the order to strike. “And I don’t trust you. Never did and never will. You always have a selfish motive for everything.”
Eris’s nostrils flared, pure jealousy flaring beneath his skin now. “And when exactly did you earn her trust, shadowsinger?”
“Enough, the both of you!” the Illyrian woman snapped, stepping between them with a might of her own. She winced as the bed behind her rustled, you stirring in bed. “If you are going to fight, then do it outside."
Neither male moved at first.
They simply stared at one another. Hate and grief and guilt writ in every tense breath between them. Then, finally, Eris stepped back, muttering a curt “sorry” to the woman. The flames in his hands flickered out, though the heat in his eyes remained.
“Eris.”
It was you calling to him.
Azriel blinked, taken aback, and a small, unexpected victory pulsed through Eris’s veins.
Azriel reluctantly stepped back, his shadows retreating with him. Still, they lingered close and Eris swore they had eyes of their own as he could feel them staring him down.
“She's been through enough," the woman said with a sigh, her gaze lingering on Eris, as if she were assessing him. She turned to Azriel. “She’ll probably wake up hungry, poor thing hasn’t eaten much either. Won’t you help me prepare something?”
Though it’s phrased as a question, there’s an underlying demand in her tone. One Eris can’t help but feel grateful for.
“Sure,” Azriel replied after a brief pause, his voice taut. He turned to follow, but not before glancing back. “Five minutes,” he said over his shoulder.
**
Eris’s eyes caught the clutter on your nightstand as he approached your bed. For a moment, he froze. The letters–his letters– were stacked unevenly, some edges bent from being reopened too many times. There were small things, too. The other gifts he had sent.
None of his letters have been returned and it appeared that the gifts he had sent were unused.
But they were here. They’d at least been opened and kept. Not thrown away as he feared.
The smallest sliver of hope pushed into the cracks of his chest. Perhaps, there was still a chance. You hadn’t shut him out entirely. He exhaled slowly and then, finally, he turned back to you.
The bed dipped slightly as Eris sat on the edge, and for a moment, he just looked at you. The fever had dropped but it left behind a sickly sheen of exhaustion. Reaching out, his hand hovered over your face. There was a moment of hesitation before he gently lowered his hand to rest against your cheek. You were no longer searing to the touch, just slightly cooler in comparison to him now.
You didn’t flinch like before. Instead, you leaned into his touch and the movement stole the breath from his lungs. His lips parted, a tremor of a smile tugging at one corner.
He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers lingering. Then, slowly, his gaze drifted downward to the gown draped across your body. He could see the small curve of your stomach beneath it and it made his chest tighten.
There. Right there. Life–Life the two you had created.
His hand moved from your face to rest lightly on your bump. His touch was featherlight like he feared even pressure might hurt you further. The contact was both grounding and devastating. He really wished things didn’t have to be this way.
“I’m sorry,” he finds himself whispering again. He was full of so much regret and so much yearning.
“Eris,” you rasped, your lashes fluttering faintly. “Is it really you?”
Eris knows it must be the exhaustion. He can see you fighting it, struggling with the weight it pressed upon your eyelids. The hand that had been resting over your stomach drifted lower to reach for your own hand. “Yes,” he replied. His hand tightened around yours, bringing it to rest over his heart. “I’m here.”
You hummed softly, your fingers twitching in his grasp. He watched you, observing every shift of your expression, every flutter of your lashes as if it were some fragile miracle. The tears he’d been holding back finally slipped free, tracking down his cheeks in silence.
“When Azriel came for me, I thought the worst. I thought I was protecting you by pushing you away. I thought…” He trailed off, swallowing hard and struggling with his words.
He gave you space to respond, though he knew better than to expect it. He wondered if the exhaustion won, sleep finally taking over you. Good, he thought. You probably haven’t been able to properly rest these past couple of days.
Your breathing remained steady and no more words from you followed. Just the soft rhythm of your body. He could hear your heartbeat and he swore he could hear the baby’s too. It was quiet but quicker. A ticking sound, almost.
Before you, he hadn’t believed himself capable of feeling for someone this deeply. But you—you had carved out a place in his heart, built a home there, even when he tried to board it shut. And now, there was someone else nestled in that space too. Someone so small and unseen but already adored with an intensity that terrified him.
The bond between you stirred faintly, dulled by your fatigue. Maybe you wouldn’t remember this. Maybe it would all fade into your dreams. It didn’t matter. He had to say it anyway.
“I’m going to fix this,” he whispered, pressing your hand to his lips. “I swear it. Even if you never forgive me... I’ll spend the rest of my life fighting for and protecting you. The both of you.”
Eris closed his eyes, forehead resting briefly against your joined hands. And then, with a tremble in his chest, he said the three words that had haunted him since the day you spoke them first. The three words he had felt long before you ever gave them breath. The ones he had buried beneath fear and duty and pride.
“I love you.”
It left him in a broken whisper. A confession and a promise all in one. He only hoped he’d get the chance to say them to you when you were awake. He wanted to sit here with you, holding your hand as he waited for you to wake up. He didn’t want to leave. How could he, when everything that made his life worth anything was here in this room?
The tattoo on his arm from the bargain with Azriel flared, as if sensing where his thoughts had headed. It pulsed against his skin like a second heartbeat and it was followed by a knock at the door. Azriel must’ve felt it too.
Eris looked at you one last time, his gaze trailing over your face. Then down to the bump beneath the thin gown, where your hand now rested. You looked at ease now and it made it even harder for him to leave when all he wanted was to curl up beside you. His legs felt heavy, as though the weight of what he was walking away from had rooted him in place.
He burned the image of you into his mind before he forced himself to stand. He didn’t know how, didn’t know when. He just knew he would find his way back to you. Even if he had to bleed for every step back to you.
And then, he walked away, closing the door softly behind him. He didn’t hear the faint words that left your lips moments later, voice cracked and barely there.
“Don’t go.”

a/n: Hope you enjoyed this part! <3 In my head, iI have a little HC that f Eris and reader had consummated the bond, this pregnancy wouldn't have turned high risk so early. I have 2-3 more parts planned but I'm going to take a small break from them so I could write little drabbles/scenes in between them. Basically, it would be scenes I couldn't figure out how to incorporate into the next parts but still wanted to write out.
Sneak peak to next update: here
If there's anything you'd like to read, let me know! I'm open to suggestions and also love hearing your thoughts.
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@tele86, @bubybubsters, @k-homosapien, @mariaxliliana, @kathren1sky-blog
@anainkandpaper, @icey--stars, @moonlovefairy, @hellohauntedturnstudent, @lucia-valentinaa,
@wrenisrad, @smol-grandpa, @sleepylunarwolf, @63angel, @anuttellaa
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#eris x reader#eris x you#eris x y/n#eris vanserra fanfiction#eris vanserra x reader#acotar x reader#acotar fanfiction#eris angst#the mark eris left behind
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already gone.
kim seungmin x f!reader
synopsis: to the world, you’re the perfect couple: the rising athlete and the woman who stood by him. but behind closed doors, something is shattering. the MLB offer. the agent. the betrayal you never saw coming. now your home is no longer a refuge, but the battleground where truth and love fight for survival.
warnings: angst, heated arguments, infidelity accusations, implied cheating, emotional distress.
wc: 6335
[already gone part 2]

The soft click of the clasp echoed faintly in the bedroom as you fastened the final earring into place. Your fingers were clumsy, tired, but determined. The room was dimly lit, the last orange traces of sunset bleeding through the curtains, casting a warm glow over the vanity where you sat. Behind you, Seungmin stood near the full-length mirror in his navy suit, carefully adjusting his cufflinks.
“Are you sure you don’t want to just stay home?” he asked for what had to be the fifth time, his tone light, teasing, but underneath, you caught it, something uncertain. Something else.
You glanced at him through the mirror, watching as he checked his tie again, even though you had already fixed it just minutes ago. His posture was relaxed, the easy smile on his face was one you’d seen countless times before… but it didn’t reach his eyes. Not tonight.
“I already told you,” you replied, reaching for your lipstick. “I’m going. I want to be there.”
He exhaled with a slight chuckle, walking over to you. His fingers brushed your shoulder, and you paused applying your lipstick as he leaned in and kissed the top of your head. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he whispered.
You smiled, but your heart didn’t flutter the way it usually did. “You’re stalling,” you said plainly.
He grinned as if caught red-handed. “Can you blame me? You’re just… very pretty. Distracting.”
“You’re very bad at changing the subject,” you said, standing up and brushing invisible lint from your dress.
A soft fuss broke the moment, your daughter, Iseul. You instinctively moved toward the crib in the corner of the room where she lay in her tiny floral onesie, fists waving in complaint. Before you could reach her, Seungmin stepped in front of you.
“I got her,” he said gently, scooping her up into his arms with practiced ease. “Go on, finish. We’re already late.”
You hesitated, watching as your husband soothed your baby with a quiet hum. Even after years of marriage, and two children, it still made your heart twist to see how naturally fatherhood came to him.
“Are you sure?” you asked.
“Always,” he said, giving you a lopsided smile.
The distraction of getting ready, wrangling a toddler who had earlier decided to dump an entire box of cereal on the floor, and feeding the baby between curling your hair had left you frazzled. Seungmin’s teasing earlier had only barely been tolerable.
“Maybe it is taking longer because I’ve got two little humans to keep alive now,” you’d snapped at him earlier, glaring as he chuckled.
He’d raised both hands in mock surrender. “Not complaining. Just saying you’re not the fastest anymore.”
You’d muttered something under your breath, but Seungmin had leaned down, kissed your shoulder, and taken Iseul from your arms like it was second nature. “I’m serious though,” he had added gently. “You don’t have to come. You’ve done enough today. You always do.”
And for a moment, you had almost considered it. Almost.
But that look, the one that didn’t quite match his words had bothered you more than you admitted. You were tired, yes. But more than anything, you were curious.
Now, watching him with your daughter, that strange unease returned. You shook it off, slipped on your heels, and followed him downstairs.
Seungmin’s mother arrived just in time, letting herself in with the spare key. She was beaming, as always, excited to babysit her grandchildren for the evening. She ushered you both out of the house with warm reassurances.
“You both look wonderful,” she told you, bouncing Iseul with ease. “Have fun! Don’t worry, I’ve got everything handled.”
You kissed your children goodbye, lingering maybe a little longer than usual and followed Seungmin to the car.
The venue was already buzzing when you arrived. The end-of-season dinner was a yearly tradition, but this year felt different. Bigger. More elaborate. The private hall was beautifully decorated, navy accents for the Lotte Giants, chandeliers glimmering above round tables where players, coaches, managers, and their families were already seated, laughing, talking, raising glasses.
You were seated at one of the central tables with other wives and girlfriends, many of whom you’d grown close to over the years. There was an easiness to it familiar faces, shared exhaustion from parenting, the camaraderie of loving men whose careers were as demanding as they were exhilarating.
Seungmin settled in beside you, and his hand found yours beneath the table. His thumb brushed along your skin absentmindedly, comfortingly. You leaned in closer, murmuring, “See? Aren’t you glad we came?”
His smile was soft. “Yeah.”
And yet, there it was again. That shadow behind his eyes. That silence between sentences.
You didn’t press him. Not yet.
Dinner was a blur of laughter, clinking glasses, and endless toasts. You chatted with other WAGs, one of whom was due with her third baby in a few months and shared tips about baby sleep regressions and toddler tantrums. Seungmin drifted in and out of the conversation, occasionally throwing a playful jab at his teammates, smiling when someone complimented your dress.
But the entire night, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was performing. Laughing at the right moments. Responding on cue. Holding you a little too tightly, like he was memorizing the weight of your hand.
Then the general manager stood up. The room fell quiet.
You turned toward the front, expecting the usual end-of-season wrap-up: congratulations, next season’s goals, and the usual pat-on-the-back speeches.
But this was different.
The GM’s voice echoed across the hall. “Before we close out this amazing season, I want to take a moment to acknowledge someone very special someone who’s been a cornerstone of this team for years. A player whose heart, discipline, and incredible right arm have led us through some of the toughest games of our careers.”
The room was still.
The GM continued, “Seungmin, you’ve given everything to this team and it shows. You’ve been more than a pitcher. You’ve been a leader. A brother. A Giant in every sense of the word.”
Seungmin squeezed your hand beneath the table.
“I know I speak for everyone here when I say: thank you. Thank you for the years, the grit, the wins and for making us proud. The MLB will be lucky to have you.”
Cheers erupted around the room. Glasses raised. Players clapped Seungmin on the back. WAGs smiled at you with congratulatory looks. There were whistles. Laughter. Applause.
But your body went cold.
The MLB?
The Major Leagues?
You turned to Seungmin slowly. He was smiling, ducking his head modestly, but when his eyes met yours, the truth was there. Quiet. Heavy.
You leaned closer. “What did he mean? The MLB?”
Seungmin’s smile faltered. “We’ll talk later.”
“Seungmin,” you whispered, but the room was too loud now. The moment had passed. Or maybe it had only just begun.
The car ride was so quiet it felt like the silence itself had weight.
Heavy, pressing. Like a fog that rolled in between you and Seungmin, blanketing the small, familiar space of the car in a silence that had never felt so foreign. This wasn’t the comfortable quiet that often passed between you, not the kind that came with years of knowing each other so well that words weren’t always needed.
No, this was something else.
This was the quiet of things left unsaid too long.
This was the sound of trust cracking.
Outside the windshield, the streets of Busan passed by in a blur of neon and night. Streetlights flickered over the hood of the car, casting fleeting stripes of light across Seungmin’s jaw, his hands on the wheel, the furrow of his brow. But you couldn’t look at him, not now. Not after the dinner.
Your arms were tightly crossed against your chest, like folding in on yourself could hold everything inside. Your disappointment. Your anger. Your fear. And your heartbreak most of all, that aching, low throb of heartbreak that kept pulsing under your ribs, like a bruise you didn’t see coming.
You felt him shift beside you.
Then his hand reached toward yours, the way it always did.
It was instinctive, familiar. Seungmin had always reached for you like this, even in silence. During fights. During your long hospital stay after giving birth to your daughter. During that sleepless month when your son wouldn’t stop crying and you were too exhausted to speak. His hand always found yours.
But not tonight.
You flinched.
Your arms tightened around yourself and you turned, just slightly, away from him.
Seungmin’s hand hovered in the air for a moment, then slowly fell back to the console. He didn’t speak right away.
And when he did, his voice was low. Regretful.
“I’m sorry.”
The words floated there, soft and tentative.
You stared out the window. You weren’t even looking at the streets anymore, just letting your eyes unfocus, mind reeling, thoughts scattered and tangled. You could hear the apology, sure, but it barely registered. It was buried under the roaring in your chest.
Because all you could think about, all you could see behind your tired, stinging eyes, were your babies.
Your son, Minjoon, who had refused to nap earlier today and had thrown a tantrum when you tried to get him into his formal little pants for dinner. Who’d needed three full readings of Goodnight Moon before he calmed down. Iseul, who had been fussy all evening, needing to be held, rocked, reassured. Her tiny body curling against your shoulder like you were the only thing keeping the world from swallowing her whole.
And the whole time, you’d powered through.
You’d put on the dress you’d been saving. Done your makeup. Smiled. Laughed.
For him.
Because it was supposed to be his night.
And the whole time, the whole time he’d known.
He’d known his future plans.
He’d known your life was about to be upended, and he hadn’t said a word.
A lump formed in your throat, thick and hot. You swallowed it down, but it didn’t go away.
Seungmin sighed again. This one sounded heavier.
“I didn’t want to ruin tonight for you,” he said, voice quiet. “I didn’t want to ruin what we have. I know I should’ve told you earlier. I just… couldn’t. I didn’t know how.”
“You didn’t want to,” you said, eyes still fixed on the passing lights. “There’s a difference.”
That made him fall quiet.
You weren’t trying to be cruel. But you were tired, soul-deep tired and something in you had fractured when the general manager said “MLB.” The idea that your husband had been building a future, a whole new life across the ocean, and hadn’t included you, even in thought, had taken a sharp edge.
He shifted slightly in his seat.
“You don’t understand—”
“Don’t,” you cut in. “Don’t say I don’t understand. I understand too well. You’re scared, right? Scared of what it would mean to bring this up. Scared of how I’d react. So you just… kept it from me. Like it would somehow protect me. Like I couldn’t handle it.”
You finally looked at him then, and your voice cracked.
“I gave birth to two children. I’ve handled more than you know. And I thought we were in this together.”
Seungmin’s eyes flicked over to you, and the guilt in them nearly broke you. But not quite.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to risk you resenting me,” he said quietly. “I didn’t want to be the reason you uprooted your life, left your family, your friends. The kids… They’re so young. You already do everything for them. I thought maybe, if I just waited, if I figured it out first—I could make it easier. Cleaner. Safer.”
You shook your head, biting down hard on your bottom lip to keep it from trembling.
“You don’t get to make that choice for me, Seungmin.”
He looked down at his hands on the wheel. “I know.”
A long silence stretched between you. The car rolled into your neighborhood quiet, peaceful. Your street, lined with hedges and low lights, your home waiting up ahead. You stared at the windows, lit from inside. A warm, quiet glow.
You could imagine your son asleep in his bed. His dinosaur pajamas. The way he sometimes rolled over in the middle of the night and called for you in his sleep. Your daughter probably cradled in her grandmother’s arms, small and peaceful, unaware of the storm brewing outside her home.
You exhaled shakily. “Did you ever stop to think how this would affect them?”
“Yes,” Seungmin said, his voice hoarse. “Every day. And that’s why I’ve been so torn.”
He turned off the ignition. The sudden silence made your ears ring.
“I want to do what’s best for us. I want to give them a future. I thought this opportunity—” He paused, eyes flicking to yours. “I thought maybe it would be worth it. A few hard years, and then we could have something more.”
You sat back in your seat, chest tight. “And you didn’t think what we already had was enough?”
His lips parted, but no words came out.
Because that was the question that echoed through the car, through your mind, through your bones.
You were building something. Here. Now. You had a family. You had a rhythm, even if it was messy and chaotic and exhausting. You had love. Wasn’t that enough?
The betrayal wasn’t just about baseball. It was about being left out of the most important decision since you’d chosen each other. Since you’d become parents. Since you’d stood at that altar years ago, hands clasped, promising to never go forward without the other.
And tonight, he had gone forward. Without you.
“I’m so sorry,” Seungmin said again, voice cracking this time.
You reached for the door handle but hesitated. Your hand hovered there, your heart racing.
You looked at him one last time. “We’re not okay.”
He nodded slowly. “I know.”
You got out of the car, heels clicking softly on the ground. Seungmin followed a few steps behind, but he didn’t reach for you this time. Didn’t try to touch your hand. Didn’t speak.
Inside, your mother-in-law greeted you with a warm smile and gentle hushes, the kids were fast asleep. You thanked her. You smiled tightly. You said all the right things.
But inside, the ache lingered.
That night, you lay in bed beside Seungmin, your backs turned to each other for the first time in months. And though your body was still, your mind was not.
Because you weren’t thinking about MLB contracts.
You were thinking about a dimpled little boy who would one day ask why you moved. Why you left his playground, his cousins, his language. You were thinking about your baby girl who wouldn’t remember this home, her first room, the sound of the ocean just beyond the porch.
You were thinking about whether you were strong enough to make this leap and whether the man beside you would be the one holding your hand, or the one who had already let go.
The morning light seeped into the bedroom like a quiet intrusion soft, unwelcome. It threaded through the curtains and warmed the edge of the bed where you lay, still in your dress from the night before, now wrinkled and clinging to your tired body.
You hadn't changed. You hadn't even taken off your earrings.
Sleep had come in short, fractured waves stolen between the cries of your daughter needing to be fed at 2 a.m., and the restless tossing that followed after, your mind far too loud to silence. Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the banquet hall, the raised glasses, the moment the general manager said "The MLB will be lucky to have him," and the proud, practiced smile on Seungmin’s face.
And then… the way he hadn’t looked at you when he said it.
He was still sleeping now, or pretending to be. His side of the bed was slightly turned away, shoulders curved inward, a breath that wasn’t quite steady. You didn’t care to check. You slid out of bed wordlessly, your movements quiet but brisk, careful not to wake the children or him.
You padded barefoot into the nursery and found your daughter still asleep in her crib, her tiny chest rising and falling beneath the soft pink blanket your mother had crocheted. You stared at her for a moment, absorbing the stillness, the simplicity of her peace. Your son was next, curled up in a tangle of dinosaur sheets, one small hand clutching his favorite plush tiger to his chest.
And just like that, the sharp edges of your anxiety dulled, briefly. Your children were safe. Still here. Still yours.
But the gnawing ache in your stomach hadn’t left.
You walked into the kitchen, made yourself a cup of lukewarm coffee, and settled at the table with your phone, screen lighting up with unread messages. Friends. WAGs. Notifications. Mentions. Group chats.
One name caught your eye.
A message from Yuna, one of the team wives, someone you had grown relatively close to. Always sharp-eyed and protective of the women around her. The message was short, clipped.
“Hey. Have you seen the article?”
You frowned.
Tapping the link she’d attached, you opened it and began to read.
“Inside Scoop: Lotte Giants Star Kim Seungmin’s Secret MLB Talks And the Woman Behind It All”
It was a gossip piece. The kind that pulled from ‘sources close to the player,’ spun half-truths into narratives, laced with just enough credibility to make it hard to dismiss.
You skimmed, your heart already racing. The opening paragraphs went over Seungmin’s impressive final season stats, a summary of his fan popularity, and then, the shift.
“Sources tell us that Kim has been in quiet communication with a high-profile American agent, who has reportedly been facilitating a deal behind the scenes for over a year. The two met during a prior sports event in California, where, according to insiders, the relationship between the pitcher and the agent extended beyond professional bounds.”
You stopped breathing.
No. No, no, no.
“While neither party has confirmed the rumors, those familiar with the situation say their connection appears personal and long-standing. One source adds: ‘She was more than just a rep. She was someone he trusted, someone close.’”
Your hands trembled as you scrolled.
“When asked for comment, Kim Seungmin’s representatives declined, saying the athlete is focused on finishing the season strong and spending time with his family. But the silence speaks volumes.”
You lowered the phone slowly, your heartbeat in your ears.
It felt like ice water had been poured into your veins.
A woman.
Someone he’d met in California.
Someone “close.”
Someone who had been “facilitating a deal for over a year.”
You thought back searching your memory, tracing timelines. Seungmin had gone to the U.S. for a week during the off-season last year. He said it was for a training camp and you’d believed him. Why wouldn’t you? He'd FaceTimed you with a smile, sent photos of his hotel room, texted you how much he missed you.
You remembered because you’d been pregnant then. You remembered how miserable that week had been swollen feet, morning sickness that lasted into the night, and a toddler with a fever. You’d managed it all. Alone. And when he came back, he’d brought you a sweatshirt that smelled like new cotton, a stuffed animal for your son, and a small pair of baby sneakers.
It was one of the rare times he seemed truly guilty about being away.
And now… this.
You stared at your coffee, untouched, hands tightening around the mug like it might anchor you.
The sounds of the morning were beginning to rise,
Seungmin came down not long after. Hair messy. Shirt wrinkled. Face unreadable.
But your eyes were sharp now. Searching. Watching.
He said good morning like nothing had changed. Like the night before hadn’t happened. Like you hadn’t laid in the same bed wondering if the man beside you was no longer just your husband, but a liar.
“Did you sleep at all?” he asked, moving toward the fridge.
You said nothing.
He turned. “Babe?”
“Who is she?”
The words came out colder than you intended, but you didn’t care. You couldn’t afford to be gentle. Not now.
Seungmin froze.
He blinked slowly, confusion flickering in his features. “What?”
“The woman. The agent.” You pushed your phone across the table toward him, screen still lit with the article. “You’ve been talking to her for a year?”
His expression darkened as he read. A muscle in his jaw twitched.
“This is bullshit,” he said, pushing the phone back. “You know how gossip sites work. They just—”
“Don’t lie to me.”
He paused.
That pause was worse than a confession.
Your throat tightened. “Just tell me the truth.”
“There’s nothing going on,” he said, voice steady, but not reassuring. “She’s a sports agent. I met her once. She reached out after the winter games. She said there was interest. I didn’t think it was serious. It wasn’t personal.”
“You didn’t think it was serious?” you repeated, voice rising. “You’ve been talking to her for a year. Setting up your career without me. And now there’s an article saying it’s more than that, and I’m just supposed to believe it’s all nothing?”
“She wants me in the MLB,” he snapped, then immediately regretted it. His voice dropped. “That’s all. That’s all it is.”
You stood.
Something inside you, that tightly held center, broke.
“Do you know how humiliating this is?” you whispered. “Do you have any idea how it feels to be the last to know about your own husband’s life? To find out in a room full of strangers that he’s moving across the world? And then the next morning, read that he’s been seeing another woman behind my back, business or not — for a year?”
Seungmin was pale now. Quiet.
“I never touched her,” he said. “I never crossed that line, I never cheated on you.”
“But you hid her,” you said. “And that says enough.”
Your son peeked around the corner, clutching his plush tiger, wide-eyed.
You exhaled, fighting to calm the storm inside you. You bent down, kissed the top of his head, and guided him back toward his toys.
“I’m not doing this in front of the kids,” you said without turning around. “I’m not fighting with you where they can hear.”
Seungmin’s voice was barely audible. “Then when?”
You looked back at him, the man you’d loved for years, the man who had held your hand in delivery rooms, danced with you barefoot in the kitchen, written love letters on hotel stationery.
“I don’t know,” you said. “Because right now, I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
And for the first time in your marriage, you walked away.
Not because you didn’t love him.
But because you had to protect something more fragile.
Yourself.
-
The silence that had stretched like taut wire through the early morning finally snapped by noon.
You’d tried to hold your tongue. Tried to focus on the children. On the daily motions that had once felt so automatic, making lunch, folding a forgotten pile of laundry, wiping jelly from your son’s cheeks. But even the gentlest parts of your life had turned sharp, heavy with unsaid words.
Seungmin paced behind you, trailing like a shadow, quiet but restless. You could feel his gaze at your back, like static.
He was waiting.
For you to explode.
Or for you to let it go.
And you could feel it crawling up your throat, that familiar heat. You had done this for too long. Swallowed things for the sake of peace. Told yourself it was just the job, just stress, just a phase. But today? There was no peace left to keep.
You turned toward him, jaw set.
“You’ve been hiding things from me for months.”
His eyes locked with yours instantly, tired, bloodshot. “I wasn’t hiding anything.”
“Don’t—” You barked a short, incredulous laugh. “Don’t say that. You didn’t tell me about the MLB deal. You didn’t tell me about this agent. And now, suddenly, the news breaks and everyone knows before I do?”
“I didn’t know it was going to come out like that,” he said, frustrated. “It was supposed to be private.”
“Private? We’re married, Seungmin!”
“I know that—”
“Do you?” Your voice cracked. “Because I didn’t feel married last night. I felt like someone tagging along at a dinner where my husband’s future got announced without me. And I didn’t feel married this morning, reading that some womanhas been guiding your entire next chapter, while I was here — pregnant, raising two kids — not knowing anything.”
He ran both hands through his hair, the tension in his shoulders visible. “It’s not like that—”
“Then what is it like?” you snapped. “Explain it. Tell me, because right now the facts don’t add up. You said you didn’t cheat, but I never even said you did.”
That stopped him.
His eyes went wide like you’d pulled the ground out from under him.
You stared.
And he knew. You saw the flicker of realization in his face. That he had let something slip, a defense he shouldn’t have offered if he wasn’t guilty of more than what you knew.
“I didn’t cheat,” he said again, more measured now. “I just thought— when I saw the article, I thought—”
“You thought I’d accuse you,” you said flatly. “Because something did happen.”
“No!” He stepped forward, desperate. “No. Nothing happened. I swear to you.”
You crossed your arms. “Then why are you scrambling? Why is your story changing every ten seconds? First you barely knew her, then she reached out to you, now she’s been helping you for a year?”
He gritted his teeth. “She reached out after the winter games—”
“You already said that.”
“She brought up the offer before it was even real. I didn’t take it seriously at first—”
“And yet somehow, she’s close enough to you now that people think you’re involved,” you said bitterly. “Funny how fast that escalated.”
He groaned, turning his back briefly, dragging a hand down his face. “I didn’t want this. I didn’t want it to turn into this. I just— I’ve been trying to secure something better for us. For the kids.”
You laughed again, but there was no humor in it. “Don’t you dare bring our kids into this. Don’t act like this was some noble sacrifice. You weren’t thinking about them. You weren’t thinking about me. You were thinking about you. Your career. Your next big move.”
“That’s not fair.”
“What’s not fair,” you shot back, “is waking up next to a stranger. A man who made decisions without me. Who kept a woman secret from me for over a year. Who lied — or twisted the truth so carefully it felt the same.”
Seungmin stepped closer, voice rising now to match yours. “She’s a professional contact. I didn’t want to involve you until I knew it was real. Is that so hard to understand?”
You were yelling now. “What’s hard to understand is why I had to find out with the rest of the world. If you respected me, if you trusted me, if we were a team like you always said— you would’ve told me.”
He shouted over you, voice breaking with frustration. “I was scared, okay?! I didn’t want you to say no. I didn’t want you to hate me for dragging you and the kids overseas. I didn’t want to make this harder than it already is.”
You stared at him, truly stared.
And what broke you wasn’t the yelling.
It was the fear in his voice. Not of losing you, but of confronting the truth. Of facing the fallout of a decision he’d already made.
Your chest heaved. Your eyes burned.
“That’s the part you don’t get,” you said, quietly this time. “You already made it harder. Not by asking me to leave. Not by considering the offer. But by lying. By deciding I couldn’t handle the truth.”
He shook his head, voice thick. “It wasn’t about you.”
You scoffed. “Right. That’s the problem, isn’t it?”
You didn’t notice how loud you’d become until the silence that followed felt unnatural. And then, A piercing, frantic cry cut through the house.
Iseul.
Shrill, high-pitched, panicked.
You both turned at once.
Seungmin moved first, instinctively, like the father he still was bolting toward the nursery hallway. But your hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, stopping him cold.
He looked at you in confusion, breath shallow.
You stared at him with fire in your eyes.
“No.”
His brows furrowed. “What— she’s crying—”
“I’ll go,” you said, your voice raw. “Not you.”
“Why?” His voice cracked. “She’s our daughter.”
“No,” you whispered. “She’s my daughter right now. Because I’m the only one here.”
He blinked like you’d slapped him.
You let go of his wrist.
Then you turned and rushed.
Down the hall, through the open nursery door, into the soft lavender-painted room where your daughter wailed from her crib, little fists clenched, cheeks red and glistening.
You gathered her into your arms, heart pounding, holding her to your chest like a shield. Her tiny body shook against yours, but you whispered soothing words, rocking her gently.
“I’ve got you,” you murmured. “I’ve got you.”
And you meant it.
Not just for her.
For yourself.
Because right now, in this house filled with cracked trust and echoing pain, you were the only one still standing for her. For both of your children. You couldn’t protect them from everything, but you could be the one who stayed honest.
You rocked her until the cries softened, until her small breaths slowed against your collarbone.
And in the hallway behind you, you heard Seungmin sit down on the floor hard, like the weight of everything had finally caught up.
But you didn’t go to him.
Not this time.
The house was too quiet.
Hours had passed since the first argument, the one that left your daughter screaming in your arms and your husband sitting stunned in the hallway like the wind had been knocked from his chest. You thought maybe that would be the end of it. That silence would stretch long enough for one of you to finally make sense of what to say.
But you couldn’t stop thinking.
And Seungmin? He couldn’t stop moving.
He hadn’t left the house, but he’d stayed out of the nursery, out of the bedrooms, mostly pacing through the kitchen and hallway like a caged animal. When you walked past each other, it was stiff, shallow. He opened his mouth once, maybe twice, but the words fell away before they landed.
Until now.
It was dark out when it happened. The kids were finally asleep, your son curled in your bed, the baby passed out against your chest after her last bottle.
You passed her to her crib slowly, carefully, and left the nursery on bare feet, moving quietly through the hall.
Seungmin was waiting at the end of it arms crossed, leaned against the doorway to the living room like he was forcing himself to stay still.
You didn’t stop walking.
“Can we talk now?” he said, not looking at you.
You paused.
Turned.
“Yes,” you said. “But I’m not doing it with half-truths again.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
You crossed your arms. “So start from the beginning. Not the version you’ve revised three times. The truth.”
He pushed off the wall and walked into the living room. You followed.
He didn’t sit. Neither did you.
“It started last winter,” he began, voice low. “There was this exhibition thing in L.A., and one of the scouts introduced us. Her name’s Madison.”
Madison.
It hurt, having a name to put to the ghost. Somehow it made it worse.
“She said she’d seen me pitch in Busan the year before,” he continued. “Said she thought I had MLB potential. I didn’t believe her at first.”
“And?”
“She gave me her card. Said if I ever wanted to explore the option, I could reach out. I didn’t. Not for months. But then— after I got that minor injury in spring training, I started thinking about my shelf life. How fast it could end. How the kids are growing, and we’ll need more— more security, more stability. So I called her.”
Your expression hardened. “You were injured, and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
You scoffed. “You didn’t want me to know. That’s what you mean.”
He winced, but didn’t correct you.
“I wasn’t planning anything big at first,” he said quickly. “It was just supposed to be background talk. Feelers. I didn’t even sign anything.”
“But you were talking to her regularly,” you said. “Behind my back. Letting her shape your decisions. Tell me again how that’s not hiding something?”
“She had connections,” he said. “I needed her.”
“You needed me,” you said. “You needed us. But you didn’t think we could handle the truth?”
“I didn’t want to drag you into something that wasn’t certain.”
“Bullshit,” you said, your voice cracking. “You didn’t want to hear me say no.”
His lips parted. Shut again.
Your heart was pounding now. Hard.
“And now this article comes out,” you said. “And it says you’ve had a close relationship with her. Not just business. Not just professional. And you still expect me to believe it was nothing?”
He threw up his hands. “Because it was nothing!”
“You keep saying that,” you snapped. “But everything else you say changes! First you barely knew her. Then she was a connection. Then you were working together for months. Now she’s your lifeline to a better life?! Which version is the truth, Seungmin?”
He stepped toward you, voice raised. “You think I’m sleeping with her? You think I would cheat on you?! After everything—”
“I didn’t say that!” you shouted. “You did!”
His mouth opened again.
And again, he had nothing.
“Do you hear yourself?” you said, near tears now. “You keep trying to fix the story instead of just telling it. Every time you talk, I feel like I’m catching you in another lie.”
He turned away, paced across the room, grabbed at his hair.
“I wasn’t lying,” he said, almost to himself. “I wasn’t trying to— I didn’t want to—”
“You didn’t want to hurt me?” you asked, voice softer now, but shaking. “Then why does it feel like every word you say is cutting deeper?”
He turned, frustrated. “I was trying to make the best of what I could! I thought if I got the deal solid first, you’d feel better knowing it wasn’t just a risk—”
“I don’t need you to protect me from risks,” you snapped. “I need you to be honest. I need you to respect me enough to let me choose the hard things with you.”
He stared at you, this woman who had stood by him through every game, every travel stretch, every missed birthday and late-night bus ride. And now, when he needed you most, he realized...
He’d gone too far without you.
And now he couldn’t pull you back.
Your hands dropped to your sides, empty. Exhausted.
“I don’t even know if I’m angry at you,” you whispered. “Or if I’m angry at myself for not seeing it sooner.”
He blinked, breathing uneven.
You moved past him, toward the hallway again.
“Where are you going?”
“I need air.”
He followed. “You can’t just walk out—”
You turned, eyes blazing.
“No,” you said. “You need to leave.”
His face twisted. “What?”
“I need space. The kids are asleep. I’m not doing this again while they’re in this house.”
He hesitated. “Where the hell am I supposed to go?”
“I don’t care,” you said. “You can go to a hotel, you can sleep in your car, you can call your manager. I just— I can’t look at you right now.”
He laughed, bitterly. “So that’s it?”
“No,” you said. “But it’s all I’ve got tonight.”
His eyes were wild now, mouth slightly open, chest heaving with things he couldn’t say fast enough.
“Fine,” he muttered. “Fine. You don’t want to hear it? You don’t want to listen to anything I have to say? Then I’ll go.”
“I’ve been listening,” you shouted. “It’s just that none of it makes sense.”
He shoved past you, storming into the bedroom. You heard drawers yanked open. A zipper. A bag hitting the floor.
You stood frozen in the hallway, watching the shadows move under the door.
Then, moments later, it opened. He walked past you, hoodie on, baseball cap low, duffel over his shoulder. His mouth pressed into a line.
You didn’t speak.
Neither did he.
He walked down the stairs, opened the door, and stepped outside.
You watched him through the window, standing still in the dark. His car door opened.
But he didn’t get in.
He stood beside the car for a second, shoulders hunched like the weight had finally settled across them.
And then he looked back toward the house.
For a flicker.
A moment.
As if expecting you to follow.
You didn’t.
And then he got in.
And drove off.
You didn’t cry at first.
You stood there, gripping the edge of the banister like it was the only thing keeping you upright.
Then, once the headlights vanished, once the silence roared back into your chest—
You broke.
Not loudly. Not dramatically.
You just sank.
Onto the stairs. Onto your knees. And the sobs came in waves. Quiet, painful, relentless.
Because love wasn’t supposed to feel like this.
Because you didn’t know what was real anymore.
Because the man you had once called home had chosen a path that no longer included you, not fully.
And you didn’t know if he would find his way back.
//
masterlist.
❌proofread
#stray kids imagines#stray kids x you#skz imagines#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids scenarios#skz x y/n#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#kim seungmin imagines#seungmin imagines#seungmin angst#kpop angst#stray kids angst#skz angst#skz dad au#dad!skz#stray kids dad au#stray kids dad#kpop dad au#dad au#stray kids reactions#stray kids#kpop fanfic#skz fanfic#skz scenarios#seungmin fanfic#seungmin#angst#skz au
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✴︎ KNEE DEEP IN THE PASSENGER SEAT
જ⁀➴ Toji took a silly joke to heart which caused a fight to break out between the two of you. However, Toji would never apologize with words, he still uses his mouth to make sure that you know he's sorry though.
ノ including: Toji
ノ cw: fem!reader, couple fight, accusing Toji of cheating, oral (reader receiving), fingering, make up sex/oral, reader jokingly getting called "bunny" once
ノ wordcount: 1.7k
ノ info: request by the lovely @pricesprincess thank you again so much for this. I had a blast daydreaming about and writing this ♥️ | requests are open
REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED (share your thoughts!)
At this point you deeply regretted making a petty joke while getting ready for your date with Toji, since it turned into a huge, unnecessary fight between the two of you. It really was a joke, all you said was that he should keep his eyes off of other women while he's out with you - not that he ever entertained any of them, but the both of you did look if a beautiful person walked past, simply because they were pretty, nothing more. Toji however, got defensive, as if you doubted his loyalty. At first you thought he meant it jokingly too, but the lack of a smirk or chuckle led you to believe otherwise.
"I can stare at them all I want as long as I keep my hands to myself, what more do you want?" Those were the exact words he used while angrily pulling a fresh shirt over his head.
Now you were sitting at the restaurant with him and you both were fed up with the other, while Toji made sure to look obnoxiously at every woman walking past the two of you in hopes of pissing you off to confirm your statement to live up to being the bad guy that was ruining it all.
If he wasn't busy ogling other women, you both simply glared at one another with anger and unspoken words. His jaw was tense and his teeth almost shattered under the pressure, while your gaze would explode him if it could. Neither of you wanted to admit you were in the wrong and Toji was old enough to see that he was sabotaging himself by trying to prove that he wasn't a good partner - which you didn't want to imply, simply because it was far from the truth. A harmless joke, that's all it was, but it must have struck a nerve.
The moment both your plates were empty, Toji called over the waiter to pay the bills, not bothering to ask if you wanted something to drink or a dessert perhaps - He was done with this dinner and by the looks of it, you wanted to leave too.
"What the fuck is your problem, Fushiguro?" You ask in a whispered hiss once the cool evening air hit you.
"What the fuck my problem is?" Toji whipped around to look at you, full of anger, his sudden movement almost knocking you over. "I hate how fucking little you trust me," he continued and the way you used his last name to build some sort of distance struck yet another nerve.
"I don't even know what you want from me. I'm loyal. Fuck- I never even thought of another ever since you’re mine. Do you expect me to go through life with blinders? What is your deal?" He didn't mean to raise his voice, especially not in public, but he just couldn't hold it in anymore.
A sigh escaped his lips when he turned around to walk towards the car, the last thing he wanted was to make a scene now in front of your favorite restaurant. It took you a few seconds to follow after him, fast and angry steps hunting his quick strut.
"It was meant as a simple joke... Since when are you that fragile?" Your question sounded more accusatory than you meant it to and Toji laughed bitterly at your words.
Yes, he was sleeping around - fuck, you were also just a one night stand at some point, but one night turned into two and suddenly you had things in his apartment and eventually he couldn't imagine sleeping a single night without you in his arms. He knew that he wasn't necessarily loyal at the beginning of your... escapades, but you weren't a couple, never talked about going exclusive. That you were using this against him just hurt something deep down, because you made him the happiest he's been in quite some years.
Silence fell between you both once again and the radio was playing softly in the back, occasionally interrupted by a commercial or the talking of the host. Your gaze fell out of the window, not looking at anything in particular as trees passed in a blur, your mind was racing with thoughts until the world outside came to a halt, slow at first and suddenly nothing moved anymore.
"Why are we stopping?" Your voice sounded meek when you were ripped out of your thoughts by the stop, surely he wouldn't kick you out of the car to let you walk home, right? Your foolish fear deepened however when he walked around the car to open your door.
"Stop it! I'm not getting out in the middle of nowhere! Toji-" You protested when Toji leaned into the car to unbuckle your seatbelt.
"You're ridiculous! You're a fucking-" Your sentence got interrupted when you bit yourself on the tongue by the sudden movement of the seat getting pushed all the way back, immediately followed by the backrest of the passenger seat dropping onto the backseat. Toji didn't care much about your protests, his expression staying cold and no explanation came from his mouth.
"TOJI...WHAT ARE YOU-" You raised your voice when he pushed you back onto the seat as he climbed into the front as well, the smallest smirk slowly forming on his lips before he leaned down to kiss you - gently at first, to test the waters. The kiss grew passionate the moment you kissed back, out of resignation or because you wanted to - he didn't care.
"Making up. Apologizing, if you will," he mumbled against your lips when his huge frame slowly settled into the cramped foot space of the passenger seat.
His big hands slowly inched their way up on your exposed thighs, screw your past self for wearing a dress, you thought and stopped both of his hands once they traveled too far. You knew very well that Toji wasn't a guy for big apologies, rarely ever verbally apologizing, and you didn't want him to believe that this would do - at least not this fast.
"No! You can't just... Toji, no!" You protested and you could feel how he immediately stopped pushing his hands further, respecting your protest, but the smirk on his face told you that he was far from done with this.
His hands gently squeezed the flesh of your inner thighs, chuckling when he felt your muscles clench and tighten. He had you right where he wanted you - wrapped around his finger.
"So you're telling me that I can't eat out my pretty little bunny?" You internally cringe at the nickname he had given you a long time ago solely because you two were fucking like bunnies, unable to keep your hands to yourself.
"No. I mean, yes... fuck," you groan at the wetness that has formed between your thighs from just thinking about his talented mouth latched to your cunt.
"Okay, yes... but I'm still mad at you." You give him the green light and Toji wastes no time pushing your legs up onto the passenger seat before running his fingers over your panties until he could feel a wet patch forming.
"Guess I'll have to fuck that anger out of you then, hm?" He muses and doesn't even bother to take off your underwear, simply pushing them to the side to gain access to your sweet cunt.
The man between your thighs was appreciating the view for a moment before his fingers gently spread your folds so his tongue could flick your clit ever so gently. The small contact had you spreading your legs wider for him, a silent invitation to devour you in a way you so carnally craved. Toji ran his flat tongue through your folds before licking up from your entrance to your clit in a zigzag motion. Once he reached your clit, he gently suckled on it while his tongue flicked over it relentlessly, at first in circles, but soon he was spelling his full name onto your cunt - a desperate attempt to remind you just who exactly can make you feel this good, whose name you should be moaning, who you should forgive for being a grade A asshole.
Toji ate you out so messily, the lewd sounds drowning out the radio that was still playing in the back and his groans grew louder each time he fucked his tongue into your cunt to have more of your essence melt on his tongue, tasting all of you. The louder your moans grew, the messier he got until he latched onto your clit while two of his fingers plunged knuckle deep inside your heat, the pads curling against your sweet spot over and over again.
Toji's free hand wrapped around your left thigh to keep you close to him, pulling your cunt against his face so you couldn't get away from the pleasure he provided. Your clit started to twitch and your walls clamped down on his fingers - a telltale sign that your orgasm was close, but Toji didn't let up, wanting you to come undone on his fingers and his tongue, needing you to make a mess for him. Just as you wanted to warn him, it was too late. Your hips rolled against his face in a wave of ecstasy as your orgasm washed over you like a tidal wave and wrecked you in its wake.
"Toji... don't stop," You managed to whine out between the sinful moans of his name, but you didn't need to beg. Toji wanted you to forget how angry you were with him, even if he had to spend hours between your thighs to fuck you stupid to the point you forgot your own name.
When your orgasm subsided, he looked up at you with a wolfish grin, his entire chin glistening with your juices and you knew exactly that he was far from done with you. The moment his tongue started to circle your bundle of nerves again, you grabbed a fistful of his hair and pushed him closer to your sopping wet cunt, not letting him go any time soon - perhaps if he made you cum enough times, you'd allow him to blow off some steam too. But for now you were perfectly content with him knee deep in the passenger seat, just eating you out until you were seeing stars.
#✶࿐inkspills#toji x reader#toji smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#jjk#jjk Toji#toji Fushiguro#toji fushigro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#jujutsu kaisen oneshot#.nsfw
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absolutely loved ‘baby, would i still be your lover’, everyone single one got me in my feels! i was wondering would you consider doing a part 2? whether it ends in angst or fluff
I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye


★ : summary :: when he accidentally insults you during an argument- aftermath ★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris ★ : genre :: hurt/comfort, hints of angst ★ : word count :: 4.3k ★ : a/n :: thank you so much for the love on part 1 💓 some of these have open ending so you can pick whether you'd like to forgive them or not as a reader!! feedback is appreciated :)

( part 1 )

Max Verstappen
You sighed as you sat down to have your morning tea as usual, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. As if you hadn't spent all night long getting your phone spammed with calls that you were ignoring.
After mindlessly roaming around for a bit, you eventually decided to crash at your best friend’s place. You lazily waved at her as she frantically got ready to leave for work. However, you were on your tiptoe as soon as the door opened.
A body that was possibly sleeping while leaning against the door fell inside and you heard curses that you were quite too familiar with. Your heart clenched at the sight of your boyfriend - or perhaps now, your ex-boyfriend - on his knees, nursing the wound on his head. The ache of seeing him in pain reignited the anguish you thought you had left behind.
“Okay,” you heard your friend murmur. “I'm gonna let you guys get to it.” She was out the door a second later.
You looked at the closed door instead of the man who was desperately trying to make eye contact with you.
“How long have you…” You trailed off before deciding that you didn't want to know.
“As soon as you turned your phone off, Y/N! I've been here since last night.” "Why?" you choked out, the words barely escaping your lips as tears threatened to overflow. His brows furrowed before he ran his hands over his face and got up to sit right next to you. You saw his hand itching toward yours and instinctively pulled it towards your body. "Because I needed to see you in person, to talk." He took another deep breath and you later realized that he was trying to stop himself from crying. “I realize I messed up, baby. I.. I never should have let you walk out.” But his attempt to mend the shattered pieces of your relationship only served to reopen the wounds, your walls instinctively rising in defense,"Talk? You think a talk is going to fix everything?" Max's eyes were filled with a mix of regret and desperation as he reached out for your hand, his fingers trembling slightly. "No, I don't think a talk will magically fix everything," he admitted, his voice raw with emotion.
"But it's a start. I need you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened. I hate myself for hurting you, for making you doubt how much you mean to me."
You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, the pain of the previous night still too fresh in your mind.
“How can I trust you again, Max? How can I be sure that this won't happen again?" Your voice was barely a whisper, filled with the ache of betrayal.
Max's grip on your hand tightened, his eyes pleading for understanding. "I know I've messed up, Y/N. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. I'll work on my temper, I’ll be better to you, I'll do anything you ask of me. I just need you to give me another chance." “You know you’ve always been the best to me, right? I just can’t believe that instead of talking it out yesterday, you straight up skipped to breaking up wit-” Fresh tears started falling down your cheeks. Max immediately leaned forward to hold you in his arms and you let him because you needed him. But how could you trust him again? How could you be sure that history wouldn't repeat itself? That he won’t throw away your whole relationship just because the anger got a hold of him? As Max held you close, you felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over you. Part of you wanted to push him away, to scream and shout at him for causing you so much pain. But another part of you craved his warmth, his touch, his presence.
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Max whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I know I messed up, and I hate myself for it. I never meant to hurt you, I swear."
You buried your face in his chest, the tears soaking through his shirt as you struggled to make sense of your feelings.
“I just don't know if I can do this anymore, Max," you admitted, your voice muffled against him. Max tightened his embrace, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "I understand," he murmured, his voice gentle. His admission eased your thumping heart a bit, you were glad to have him back. The storm within you finding a momentary calm.
"I made you feel like our relationship was disposable, like breaking up was no big deal. But that couldn't be further from the truth. You're the most important person in my life, baby and the thought of losing you terrifies me. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to show you just how much you mean to me. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust if you still want me."
Lewis Hamilton
The weight of Lewis's words hung heavy in the air, suffocating you as you retreated into the sanctuary of your bedroom. Tears streamed down your cheeks unchecked, your heart aching with a pain you couldn't quite comprehend. How had a day that started with such a promise turned into this? You buried your face in your hands, the sting of Lewis's words feeling like acid running through your veins.
Outside the door, the silence was deafening, broken only by the muffled sound of your sobs. Lewis stood frozen in place, his mind racing as he replayed the exchange in his head.
He couldn't believe the words that had escaped his lips, couldn't fathom how he had allowed his frustration to morph into such hurtful remarks.
Minutes stretched into eternity as Lewis grappled with the weight of his actions, the gravity of his words settling like a lead weight in his chest.
He wanted to reach out to you, to apologize and make things right, but his feet remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the magnitude of his mistake.
Inside the bedroom, you were consumed by a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Anger, hurt, betrayal - they all swirled together into an ugly monster, threatening to engulf you whole.
How could the man you loved, the man who had always been your rock, turn on you with such venom?
But beneath the anger and hurt, there was a flicker of doubt, a gnawing fear that maybe Lewis's words held a grain of truth. Maybe you were too insecure, too needy, too demanding. Maybe you were asking for too much, expecting him to be there for you when he had his own priorities and responsibilities. Maybe-
The sound of a soft knock on the door snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked up to see Lewis standing there, his expression wrought with regret and guilt. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the unspoken apology hanging heavy in the air. Looking at him distraught made your chest feel worse. How could he make you feel ten fold worse than this and not feel a thing?
"I'm sorry," Lewis finally whispered, his voice barely audible. "I didn't mean what I said. I was out of line, and I know I hurt you. Please, let me make it right." He rushed through the words.
His words pierced through the haze of your pain, and you felt a bit of heaviness leaving your body. He crossed the room in a few strides, dropping to his knees in front of you, his eyes pleading for forgiveness.
"I don't know what came over me," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion before your boyfriend took your hand away from your face and kissed your cheeks. "I was so caught up in my own frustrations that I lashed out at you, and I hate myself for it. You don't deserve to be treated that way, especially not by me."
You studied his face, searching for any sign of insincerity, but all you saw was genuine remorse and regret. And despite the pain still raw in your chest, you couldn't deny the love you felt for him, the longing to mend what had been broken between you. “You hurt me,” you whispered but didn’t push him away as he laid down with you, holding you close to his chest. Some of your resolve wavering when you felt his fast heartbeat. “I wanted you there so much.” He nodded as he shushed you, his own eyes dropping tears. “I’m so so sorry, baby. I can't even begin to express how deeply I regret the way I acted the whole day, I know you deserve so much more but-” You shifted slightly, knowing all that you wanted right now was comfort, you didn't want to forgive him or minimize the weight of his actions. "I don't know if I can right now," you replied, your voice trembling with the weight of your emotions.
Lewis's eyes brimmed with tears as he whispered, "Please don't shut me out. I can't bear the thought of losing you."
You felt a pang of guilt at the pain evident in his voice. "I just need some time to process everything," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
"I understand," Lewis replied, his tone filled with sorrow. "But please know that I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."
You nodded, silently acknowledging his words as you allowed yourself to be enveloped in his comforting embrace.
"I promise to make it up to you," Lewis vowed earnestly, his voice laced with determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."
"I want to believe you," you admitted quietly, your heart heavy with uncertainty. Everything was a little too raw right now and your emotions were all over the place.
"I'll spend every moment proving it to you," Lewis declared, his eyes locking with yours in a silent vow.
“I was thoughtless and cruel today, and I never should have let those words leave my lips. You are not insecure, you are strong and resilient, baby. You deserve so much better than the hurtful words I spoke. Please know that I can’t lose you, Y/N. I will work tirelessly to regain your trust and rebuild what I have so carelessly shattered. You mean the world to me, and I will spend every moment striving to be worthy of your love.”
Carlos Sainz
As you sat nervously in your childhood home, the familiar sights and sounds providing little comfort, your mind raced with thoughts of disappointment and hurt.
For the third time, Carlos had failed to join you in meeting your parents, leaving you to face their questioning looks and unspoken concerns alone. You had rehearsed what you would say to them, how you would explain his absence, but each time, the words caught in your throat, choked by a mixture of frustration and sadness. For the past few days since you walked out of your apartment, you had been ignoring Carlos’ attempts to reconcile with you. The calls and texts he spammed you with were ignored and curses left your mouth as soon as your mind went back to the day of the argument, bringing unwanted tears to your eyes.
In the passing, you saw a Ferrari conference being conducted and as much as you wanted to reach out and talk it out with him, your heart did flips that you were sure you should have visited a doctor for.
Your parents, ever perceptive, noticed your unease as you fidgeted with the napkin in your lap, casting worried glances in your direction. You tried to muster a reassuring smile, but it faltered, betraying the turmoil within you.
How could you explain to them that the man you loved couldn't find the time to meet them, despite his promises and assurances? "What's wrong, sweetie?" your mom asked, concern evident in her voice.
You sighed, hesitating for a moment before replying, "It's Carlos... He like…"
Your dad's brow furrowed. "Is everything okay?"
You tried to muster a reassuring smile. "Yeah, he said that he got caught up with work. You know how busy he is with his racing and all..." Your dad’s brows furrowed when you trailed off, about to ask you what exactly you meant but just as you were steeling yourself to broach the subject, the doorbell rang, startling you from your thoughts.
Your heart sank as you realized it was likely a neighbor stopping by to meet you since you don’t visit that often, you stood up to go greet them. But then, to your disbelief, you heard his voice drifting through the door, before you saw your boyfriend standing right behind it. Your head titled in confusion and you drew a breath that took most of the stress from the previous days away from your body.
"Sorry I'm late," he said, his tone apologetic yet determined. Carlos took your hand and kissed it lightly,"Traffic was a nightmare." “What about the conference that you-” “You’re the most important person in my life, Y/N.” He cut you off before pulling you in and walking to the dining room that was in his vision. As if that was the answer to your question.
You turned to face him, your eyes wide with surprise and a flicker of hope. There he was, looking slightly disheveled but undeniably earnest, his gaze that locked on yours was as if it was seeking forgiveness. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the regret etched in the lines of his face.
Your parents exchanged a glance, their expressions softening as they took in the sight of Carlos standing before them.
Despite their reservations about his repeated absences, they couldn't deny the genuine affection that Carlos held in his eyes when he looked at you.
Before you could find the words to respond, Carlos took a step forward, his hand reaching out tentatively. "I'm really sorry, both of you," he said, addressing your parents directly.
"I know how important this is to you, and I should have made more of an effort to be here on time."
His words hung in the air, a silent acknowledgment of his shortcomings and a pledge to do better. You felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you, a mixture of relief, gratitude, and a glimmer of renewed faith in your relationship. "Well, we're just glad you could make it," your dad said, offering Carlos a handshake.
"Thank you for coming, Carlos," your mother said, her voice warm yet cautious. "We understand that life gets busy, but it's important to make time for the people who matter most."
Carlos nodded, his expression earnest as he met her gaze. "I couldn't agree more. Family means putting in effort, I promise to make it up to all of you."
As you sat down to dinner, the atmosphere was tinged with a sense of reconciliation and hope. Your hand still intertwined with his as you saw him charm your family. Despite the rocky start, Carlos's presence brought a newfound sense of unity and understanding to the table. And as you shared stories and laughter, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to mend what had seemed irreparably broken.
In that moment, you realized that love wasn't just about grand gestures or sweeping declarations—it was about the everyday moments of connection and compromise, the willingness to forgive and grow together.
And as you looked at Carlos, his eyes filled with determination and affection, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand.
Charles Leclerc
Charles had apologized right after he had said those words and though you had both fallen back into routine, the underlying bitterness and resentment was still present. You weren’t the one initiating any kind of affection from your side and every time Charles was initiating anything, you half assed your way out of it. Was it childish? Probably. But you were still not comfortable with how easily you had forgiven Charles, burying your hurt just to avoid conflict once again despite knowing deep down that he has hurt you probably more than anyone else ever has. These thoughts were running through your head as you sat beside Charles, your heart still heavy with the weight, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the air. Especially because Charles seemed distant, his mind preoccupied with thoughts, that you couldn't help but wonder what exactly they were. Why had he even asked to go on a date today? To break up with you? Suddenly, Pippa appeared, her presence causing the knot to form in your stomach to get tighter. She approached with a confident stride, a charming smile gracing her lips as she greeted Charles with a hug.
"Hey, Charlie!" Pippa exclaimed, her eyes flickering briefly in your direction before returning to Charles. "Long time no see!"
Charles returned her hug, though his embrace seemed somewhat forced. "Hey, Pippa. Yeah, it's been a while."
You observed their interaction closely, your unease growing with each passing moment. Pippa's presence always seemed to unsettle you, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to their friendship than met the eye. Was he gonna break up with you in public and confess his years long feelings for Pippa? Charles glanced at you, his expression softening as he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I was just out with Y/N today."
You couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth at his actions, his affectionate gesture soothing some of the tension that had been building between you.
"Nice to meet you, Y/N," Pippa said, offering you a friendly smile. "Sorry I didn’t see you next to Charlie."
You returned her smile, though it didn't quite reach your eyes and managed to reply without gagging. "Nice to meet you, Pippa." Charles tightened his grip on your hand, silently reassuring you of his presence and support. "We were just grabbing a coffee," he explained, his gaze flickering between you and Pippa. "Care to join us?"
Pippa hesitated for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly as she glanced at you before turning back to Charles. "Actually, I was hoping we could catch up alone, if that's okay."
You felt a pang of anxiety at her words, a sense of foreboding settling in the pit of your stomach. Despite your reservations, you nodded, forcing a smile as you released Charles's hand. It was better to walk away yourself than to have Charles dismiss you.
"Of course," you said, though your voice sounded strained even to your own ears. "I'll wait for you outside."
Charles shot you an alarmed look as you stood up,”I’ll see you in a few.” Charles’ hand lingered on yours for a moment longer before you reluctantly let go and made your way to the door.
You leaned against your car and enjoyed the wind for a second. You couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of the exchange between your boyfriend and his best friend sitting inside.
You were half scared to find them kissing or something but, instead a sense of confusion washed over you as you watched the way Pippa was angrily point a finger at Charles and scream at him.
It was a second later when she stormed out before making her way towards you.
"Is he doing this because of you?!" Pippa's accusatory tone sent a shiver down your spine, her words hitting too close to home.
Before you could even process what was happening, Charles emerged from the cafe, his expression determined as he approached you and Pippa.
"Go home, Pippa," he said firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument as he intertwined his hand with yours.
Pippa's eyes blazed with anger, her fists clenched at her sides as she glared at Charles. "You will regret this, Charles!" she spat before storming off, leaving you both standing there in stunned silence.
Once Pippa was out of sight, you turned to Charles, your heart pounding in your chest. "What was that all about?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.
Charles sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked at you with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Y/N. Pippa has been... difficult lately."
You frowned, your mind reeling with confusion and frustration. "Difficult how?"
Charles hesitated for a moment, his gaze searching yours as if trying to find the right words. "She's been pushing boundaries, trying to come between us. But I won't let her."
"Hey," he continued, taking your hand in his. "I told Pippa that I wouldn't be spending time with her alone anymore. If she can't accept you, then it's better for us to not be friends at all."
You blinked in surprise, a rush of gratitude flooding through you at his words. "Really?"
Charles nodded, squeezing your hand gently. "Really. You're the most important person in my life, and I won't let anyone come between us."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. "Thank you, Charles. I appreciate you standing up for us."
He smiled softly, squeezing your hand reassuringly. "I'll always stand up for us, Y/N. You mean everything to me."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you threw your arms around him, holding him close. Despite the lingering bitterness and resentment, you couldn't deny the overwhelming love you felt for him in that moment.
Lando Norris
As you stepped out of the taxi, the cool night air enveloped you, offering a moment of respite from the whirlwind of emotions that had engulfed you throughout the evening.
Your heart still felt heavy with the weight of Lando's hurtful words, but beneath the pain, a numbness resided- knowing deep down that you might’ve just broken up with your boyfriend.
Before you could take another step, you heard the sound of hurried footsteps approaching from behind. Turning around, you saw Lando rushing towards you, his eyes filled with remorse and his expression wrought with sorrow. Your hand instinctively went to your chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of your heart.
"Y/N, please wait," he called out, his voice pleading as he reached your side, breathless from his haste.
You pulled your face to meet his eyes, uncertainty and wariness etched into your features as you met his gaze. Part of you yearned to turn away, to shield yourself from the pain of his words, but another part couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, he was sincere in his apology.
"Lando," you said softly, your voice tinged with a mixture of hurt and apprehension. You wanted to say more but the damn ball in your throat stopped you doing so.
He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours as he searched for the right words to express the depth of his regret. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I hurt you, and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that."
His words washed over you like a soothing balm, offering a sliver of comfort. But still, you couldn't bring yourself to let go of the hurt that lingered in your heart.
"I should have been there for you tonight, supporting you and showing you how much you mean to me," Lando continued, his voice filled with genuine remorse. "Instead, I let my own selfishness and insecurities get in the way, and for that, I am truly sorry."
Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to him, the sincerity in his voice echoing the ache in your own heart. You were sure you’ll regret letting go of this amazing relationship without at least attempting to work on it.
Despite the pain he had caused you, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to rebuild what had been broken.
"I don't expect you to forgive me right away, Y/N," Lando said softly, his hands shaking and showcasing the intensity of his vulnerability.
"I know I have a lot of work to do to earn back your trust and your love. But please, just give me a chance to make things right. I promise to do whatever it takes to show you how much you mean to me, every single day for the rest of my life."
His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity and remorse, leaving you torn between the desire to hold onto the pain of the past and the hope for a brighter future. As you gazed into his eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity or deceit, all you found was raw honesty and unwavering devotion.
With a heavy heart and a flicker of hope, you reached out to take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you just yet, Lando," you whispered, your voice trembling with uncertainty.
Lando takes a step closer, gently cupping your face in his hands. "I'll spend every moment proving I'm worthy of your love, Y/N. Let me show you how much you mean to me, starting from this moment. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, even if it means giving you the space you need. Just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

( writing masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.
#★ : my work !#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x reader#formula 1#f1#f1 fanfic#formula 1 fanfic#f1 imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fanfic#lando norris#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#lando norris fanfic#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton imagine#carlos sainz#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz imagine#f1 angst#f1 fluff#hurt/comfort
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I think a huge factor in people not being able to understand this game is that the game as a whole relies on understanding Solas’ character as written, and people are refusing to understand it
Solas is, and has been since his first appearance, an egotistical, hubristic, racist, manipulative, abusive and condescending asshole who regularly commits atrocities and pretends that being sad about them is enough penance. He is a terrible person who insists he’s actually the hero of the story. He is a liar and a manipulator, and he lies to himself as well. He uses other people like chess pieces and sacrifices them for his cause without much of a thought, and without them even knowing they are being used.
This is who he is. This is who he was always written to be. And veilguard is almost entirely about deconstructing that. Every member of the veilguard is a foil to solas. They are all who he pretends he is, and his false hero fantasy falls apart when you put them next to him.
Every single companion storyline is about that character successfully doing something that Solas is incapable of, but would be capable of if he wasn’t such a terrible person. And they all face a dark reflection of themselves and come out the other side mostly unscathed by that, aware that this dark reflection is not them because they are not actually like that.
Solas faces many of the same challenges the companions do, and fails each and every one of them, because, unlike them, he is not actually a hero. He is not a good person. He does not learn to accept that just because something is broken doesn’t mean there aren’t parts of it worth saving. He does not learn to accept the harsh truths and move forward. He does not accept that he is responsible for his own actions, even if someone else orders them. He fails every time.
Solas faces not one but two dark reflections of himself, Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain, the prideful god who always thinks he’s right no matter the consequences, and the servant and lover of another god whose atrocities are not justified by having been pushed by their lover and mistress, but does not come out the other side unscathed because it turns out he IS actually like them. His reflections are accurate, they’re real parts of himself that he pretends don’t exist, not just twisted versions of their fears like they are for the companions. At the end of the game he even admits that yes, he is very similar to Elgar’nan.
Pretty much the entirety of veilguard is a very careful and deliberate deconstruction of Solas’ character and self image. We go through, in elaborate detail, all of his crimes, all of his mistakes, all of the reasons why he is wrong, why his actions are unjustifiable, why his regret doesn’t absolve him of responsibility, how he thinks it does anyway.
We completely tear down every single aspect of the image he has constructed for himself. We destroy every single excuse with clear examples showing that that was not how things had to go. Every justification. Every insistence it’s okay because he’s sorry. Every time he insists he knows best and we should leave him to it. Every single illusion that he is a good person is shattered. By the end of it there is absolutely nothing left, and his repeated attempts to keep up the facade come off as pathetic and ridiculous. In all his banters with companions he tries to use his usual tricks, pretty excuses, belittling comments, fake niceties and every time he’s completely shut down.
He tries to imply Davrin has a biased view of him from stories about the dread wolf, Davrin responds with evidence the truth is even worse. He tries to apologise to Harding, she comes back with a list of all the terrible things he’s done that an apology can’t cover. He tries to appeal to spite, spite points out he hurt Rook so why should he trust him. He comes up with excuses for killing Varric and Neve points out that there’s no pretty excuse for using blood magic on Rook in such a cruel way afterwards. The illusion is shattered. That’s what the entire game has been building up to. And it makes his last attempt at betrayal seem embarrassing, because we now see through the facade and know that he was too obsessed with himself to even consider we’d see it coming.
But the thing is a lot of people refuse to see this. This is where his characters been heading since the beginning. This is who he’s always been. But a lot of people ignore any and every negative thing about him, and then complain the game doesn’t make sense. Of course it doesn’t make sense. You’ve ignored every single theme, plot point, and piece of characterisation to make up a version of Solas in your head and that’s not the Solas the game is about. It makes complete sense when you see Solas as he truly is, as he was written to be. It’s such a good bit of writing when you actually let yourself experience it as it is and allow yourself to be open to the idea that the guy who is trying to commit his second genocide might be a bad person.
#datv spoilers#dav spoilers#veilguard spoilers#solas critical#this is why the game was called dreadwolf. in a way it is entirely about him. it’s a complete deconstruction of who he is and who he#pretends to be#and it is ALSO why it was changed to veilguard. because what actually ends up being more important is who the veilguard are.#because being who they are is what saves the world. and solas ends up being a pathetic little man trapped by the consequences of his own#actions he’s been trying to avoid for millennia#scrambled eggs
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After what happened to you and your son, Satoru can’t stop drinking . . .
content: drinking, mentions of wanting to die, death, blood.
His tongue was numb from the burning alcohol that slipped down his throat in questionable amounts. The bartender had started to grow concerned, discreetly raising one of his eyebrows at the white-haired man.
“Here,” the bartender poured Satoru’s poison into another shot glass and sat it down in front of him with a gentle clank. “This one’s on the house. Do I need to call a cab for you, sir? Or do you have a ride?”
The young bartender was met with glassy, bloodshot eyes. The windows of Satoru’s soul were shattered, reflecting nothing except brokenness and a lack of sobriety.
Satoru didn’t answer. He only blinked at the bartender. It was a slow, mechanical click of the lids as if he had to remind himself to blink.
Blink, blink, blink.
He preferred not to do so, because every time he closed his eyes — even for the second it took to keep his blue orbs from drying out — he saw it.
It, being the reason why he was at the dead, boring bar that smelt of old wood and faint musk in the first place.
He was here almost every night because of you.
Because of what happened to you.
Satoru wrapped his unsteady hand around the shot glass, downing the drink as he tried to drown his sorrows.
He sat the fourth small glass down next to the other ones. He needed more. It wasn’t enough. He wasn’t drunk enough. There wasn’t enough alcohol in his belly to wash away the sickness he felt swirling around in the pit of his stomach whenever he thought about you.
“Another one,” Satoru’s voice was unrecognizable to his own ears. “Another one . . . Please.”
The bartender hesitated, wiping his hands off on the white towel across his shoulder.
The bar needed money. The other three customers who were lingering around were mainly there for the pool table, and bought a glass of beer just to sip on it while they played.
The family-owned business was at risk of shutting down thanks to the brand new club in the next town over, packed with young adults who were not only drinking, but dancing underneath neon lights and loud music as well.
This old bar could only afford to have the same old country songs on repeat, playing lowly in the background.
Even so, the bartender didn’t want money badly enough to contribute to this man’s horrific habit.
Someone like Satoru should have been at the club in the other town. He appeared to be much too young to drink his life away.
“Sir?” The bartender tilted his head, speaking softly to the depressed man. “I’m not supposed to ask customers why they’re drinking, but you’re a regular here, and . . . I’d love to know why.”
The question didn’t bother Satoru, truth be told. After all, everyone often asked him that, or a variety of similar questions.
“All you do is drink now, Gojo. That won’t solve anything. Why are you being so useless?”
“Why did you quit being a sorcerer? The world needs you! You were the strongest!”
“You don’t smile or laugh anymore. What happened to the old goofball we all love?”
Satoru sadly smiled at the bartender.
“My entire family is dead . . . ‘cause of me.”
The bartender’s eyes widened. He immediately poured Satoru another shot, and one for himself as well.
“I had a-a job. Dangerous one, but I was the best at it. I was a teacher too, and with the kinda work I did, I watched people die more often than I’d like to admit. My . . . My wife. She wanted me to quit. The world was getting more and more dangerous, and she didn’t want me to die. But I was a cocky son-of-a-bitch . . . I was thinking, ‘I’m Satoru Gojo! Nothing’s gonna happen to me, I’m the strongest!’”
Satoru paused, gulping down another shot. A tear ran down his cheek. “One day, I was out on a mission. My wife didn't want me to go. Typical. When I came home a few days later, I walked through the front door, and . . . her and my three-year-old son. He was three years old.”
“What happened to them?” The bartender asked softly.
“What happened is that I didn’t listen. When you’re the strongest, you make plenty of enemies. And if your enemies are smart, they know that they can’t hurt you directly. They wouldn’t win. So,” Gojo ran his shaky hand across his pale face, “they go after your loved ones. The enemies I had to put up with were heartless. There was so much blood, I couldn’t . . . they killed my-my wife . . . They killed my wife and my boy . . . my baby boy.”
Satoru clenched his fists hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. Hot tears fell from his reddened waterline.
“I quit my job after that. Left my students behind.”
“I would’ve quit too,” the bartender said, swallowing down his shot. “I’m sorry that happened to you, sir.”
Gojo nodded, as he was sorry it happened as well.
He didn’t tell the bartender everything, though.
The lump in his throat that formed from choking back a sob wouldn’t allow for any more words to be spoken.
He failed to mention that the blood was fresh, still bright and liquidity, meaning that your death had occurred only moments before he arrived home.
And he didn’t get home fast enough.
He didn’t mention that the blood had soaked his hands, and he nearly burned his skin off trying to boil the red stains off of him.
He didn’t mention the fact that he had lost his mind. He went on a killing spree around the country, murdering every curse and curse user he came across, paying no mind to any innocent civilians who might have gotten caught in the crossfire.
He didn’t mention how badly he wanted to die too, but he was holding on because he couldn’t kill the demon that murdered his family, but he wouldn’t rest until he found a way.
However, there was one thing he would always keep to himself — one thing he wouldn’t dare mention.
It was the fact that your bodies were never found.
Perhaps, if he wasn’t drunk nearly every second of every day — and he visited other places in town aside from the bar — he would have noticed that the kind coffee shop owner who owned a business right down the street looked incredibly identical to you.
And the boy who helped run the shop on the weekends had the same head of white hair as him.
— FIND PART II HERE —
#gojo x reader#satoru x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo fic#gojo x reader fic#gojo x y/n#gojo x you#tw dark content#cw dark content#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk fic#jjk x y/n#jjk x you#gojo imagine#gojo angst
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The Paradox of Us
Pairing: Seonghwa x fem!reader
AU: non-idol au
Word Count: 8.1k
Summary: Relationships are rarely as simple as they seem. It becomes heartbreakingly complicated when two souls, bound by a love that still burns bright, come to realise that sometimes, love alone may not be enough to keep them together.
A/N: Seonghwa's 踊り子 (odoriko) cover has been on repeat since the moment it came out. I couldn't get it out of my mind and just knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't write anything inspired by it.
ATEEZ MASTERLIST
"I don't love you."
Strangely, those words would have been easier to bear. But instead, you heard the ones that shattered you in ways you never thought possible: "I love you so much... but we can't go on like this anymore."
The ache was unbearable, as if your heart was tearing itself apart with every replay of his broken voice in your mind. You would have preferred if he had said his love had faded, that the spark was gone. At least then, you could grieve, accept, and move forward. But no—he still loved you. Deeply. And that cruel truth left you stuck in a purgatory of emotions, unable to let go.
Yet, you understood him. You always did. And perhaps that was the most painful part of all—knowing he was right. You had felt it too, this growing divide neither of you could bridge. But you hadn't been brave enough to say it aloud, to admit that love wasn't enough to hold together two people who simply weren't meant to be.
So, he said it for you. And now, all you had was the emptiness of what could have been, and the love that would never quite fade.
"It'll be alright, sweetie. Time heals everything," your mother murmured, her hand gently rubbing your back as you blinked away tears and refused to meet her gaze. Her tone was soft, even comforting, but you couldn't stand it—not when she sat there pretending she hadn't played a pivotal role in this heartbreak. You could almost feel her satisfaction simmering beneath the surface, hidden behind her facade of concern. After all, hadn't she always believed he would never measure up? That he was never good enough for you?
You hated it—hated her.
Hated how she had turned your relationship with him into a battlefield, her disapproval so loud, so ever-present, that it became impossible for him to feel at home in your life. How dare she sit beside you now, feigning sorrow, when her constant criticisms had planted the seed of doubt that grew into the conclusion you dreaded? How dare she, of all people, offer comfort when she had made you believe that love—your greatest love—wasn't enough?
Her words echoed in your mind, the ones she'd repeated time and time again: "Love and compatibility aren't the same. Love is powerful, yes, but relationships are more than just feelings—they require shared values, aligned goals, and practical compatibility." She had said it so often that it became a mantra, one you tried to ignore until it became impossible.
And then there was him.
You hated him too—hated him for giving in, for not fighting harder, for agreeing with everyone else. For being too selfless, too considerate, too good. He'd always told you, "Family comes first. Everything else—including me—comes second." You hated that he meant it. Hated that he let you go because he believed it was the right thing to do, the thing that would hurt the least.
But most of all, you hated yourself.
Hated yourself for knowing, deep down, that they were all right. That maybe love really wasn't enough. You hated yourself for being too afraid to defy them, too afraid to risk it all for him. While he was brave enough to let you go, and your mother was relentless in her convictions, you had been the coward. You let everyone else make the choice for you because you couldn't bear to make it yourself.
And now, you were left with nothing but the bitter aftertaste of what-ifs and the haunting ache of knowing you had lost not because you didn't love enough, but because you hadn't been brave enough to fight for that love.
"The right person will come along," she said softly. You pressed your eyes shut, swallowing the lump rising in your throat. Without another word, you pushed yourself up from the dining chair, leaving your barely touched meal behind, and headed to your room.
Before you could step through the door, her voice followed you, cutting through the air like a knife. "You'll thank me one day when you meet a man who can give you all the things that boy never could."
Your fists clenched as you slammed the door shut behind you. Sliding down to the floor with your back against the wood, you let her words fester. Maybe she was right. You weren't getting any younger. Around you, friends and cousins were all settling down with partners your mother would call 'suitable.' And you hated it—hated that, in her eyes, Seonghwa could never be that person for you.
But then, the thought struck: you were your mother's daughter. How much of this was truly her fault? At some point, hadn't you begun to believe her? Slowly, insidiously, her words had taken root in your mind. You did this. To him, to yourself.
You remembered watching others build their perfect, storybook lives with partners who ticked every box society demanded. And you wondered—quietly at first, then louder—if you and Seonghwa could ever achieve the same. Could he be that for you? Could you be that for him?
It wasn't fair. Not to him, not to you. You hated yourself for the way doubt crept in, for how your mother's voice echoed in your head, pointing out the cracks and differences you had tried so hard to ignore. You hated yourself for wishing things could be different, for swallowing those thoughts because you loved him too much to ask him to change. He was who he was—his own person.
How could you ask him to mould himself into someone your mother would approve of? Someone society deemed 'right' for you? And if he did, would he even be the man you fell in love with?
It was those questions, those doubts, that began to live rent-free in your mind. Bit by bit, they widened the gap between you. And Seonghwa wasn't blind. He saw it. He felt it.
"You deserve someone better—someone who can give you so much more," he had said that final night, his voice breaking under the weight of goodbye.
It was your fault—your doubts, your actions, your silence. They had pushed him to that conclusion. And now, as the door behind you trembled with your suppressed sobs, you wondered: How dare you blame your mother for what you had done to him? To yourself?
How dare you?
"Gaming at San's place next, you coming?" Wooyoung asked, tossing a napkin onto the table as everyone scrambled to leave. The ridiculous game they'd invented—where the last one to leave had to pay the bill—had everyone laughing and darting for the exit.
Seonghwa's smile barely touched his lips as he shook his head and reached for his wallet. "Go on with them. I'll cover it."
The younger man hesitated, glancing at him before blurting out, "Dude, you can't always give in like this. Your poor financial planning skills are exactly why she left you."
The table fell silent, the air suddenly heavy. Wooyoung's grin faltered as he realised what he'd said, too late to take it back. Seonghwa didn't flinch outwardly, but the words sliced deep because they were true. Partly, at least.
It wasn't like he made much, not compared to the rest of his friends with their steady corporate jobs. And yet, he wasn't careful with what little he had. You had always been the one saving, planning, building a future he could barely contribute to. People his age were buying cars, investing in property, making strides toward a stable life. But he wasn't like them. He had chased his passion as a figurine crafter—a dream that didn't come with a steady paycheck—and he'd known the risks. Your mother was right: you deserved someone who could offer you the stability he never could.
"Hey, man," Wooyoung said quickly, guilt colouring his tone. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I got the bill already, so don't worry about it. Just come with us tonight, yeah? Relax a little."
But the eldest only gave a faint shake of his head. The apology didn't soften the truth of the remark. He was the reason things fell apart. Not because he didn't love you enough—he loved you too much—but because love wasn't enough.
He'd failed you. Failed to provide the kind of life you deserved. He couldn't believe you'd even agreed to be with him in the first place, so different were your worlds. Your family background, your education, your values, your ambitions—they all set you apart. He had nothing to offer someone like you. And yet, he had been selfish enough to hold on, to want you despite knowing he could never measure up.
He should have worked harder. Should have tried to step up and be the man you needed. But he hadn't, because deep down, he knew he couldn't. Perhaps he had always known it wouldn't last. That one day, you'd wake up and realise the same.
You didn't leave right away. You stayed longer than he deserved. And when you finally began pulling away, when the signs became impossible to ignore, he had to let go. It wasn't courage that made him end it—it was inevitability.
"Come with us, hyung," Wooyoung tried again, his voice gentler this time.
But Seonghwa shook his head once more. "You guys go ahead without me. I... I have somewhere to be."
It was a lie, and they all knew it. He had nowhere to be. Nowhere that mattered, at least. Just his empty apartment, where the echoes of your absence would greet him like old, familiar ghosts.
He didn't care if they saw through the lie. What mattered was that he deserved this—the loneliness, the self-pity, the regret. He had almost broken you apart from your family because he was selfish enough to believe his love was enough. He had almost stolen your future because he couldn't face the truth.
But now, it was over. You had given him the courage to do what was right in the end. He was grateful for that. Grateful you'd started pulling away. Grateful you'd given him the signs. Grateful you'd broken his heart with the words he couldn't bear to say himself.
It's time.
Time to stop pretending.
Time to let you go.
Time to let the misery end.
Yes, let it all go. Let the misery end.
He repeated the words in his head like a chant as he drove, gripping the steering wheel tighter with each mile. The familiar streets blurred past him, their lights shimmering in his tear-filled eyes. He swiped at his face with his sleeve, but the tears kept coming, warm and unrelenting. He hated himself for it. Hated that, even now, he could almost see you sitting beside him, your laughter echoing faintly in his memory.
These night drives had been your sanctuary. Just you and him, wrapped in the quiet of the world, as if nothing else mattered. Not the expectations, not the disapproving glances, not the relentless whispers about how you two didn't belong together. It had always been just you and him against everything.
But now, it was just him.
He didn't dare glance at the passenger seat. He couldn't bear the sight of its emptiness, couldn't face the truth of your absence. His mind played cruel tricks on him, filling the silence with phantom conversations, fleeting glimpses of your smile.
Everything around him reminded him of you. The way the streetlights hit the pavement, the faint smell of your favourite perfume lingering in his car, the songs on the radio you'd sing along to when you thought he wasn't paying attention. He wanted to escape it, but he knew going home would only make it worse.
Home.
The word felt hollow now. How could it be home when you weren't there? Every corner of that apartment held traces of you—the books you'd stacked neatly on the shelf, the coffee mug you always left on the counter, the sheets that still carried the faintest scent of your shampoo. He knew he should let those remnants go, pack them away, make it easier to move on. But the thought of erasing you felt like losing you all over again.
As the weight of it all pressed down on him, he slowed the car and pulled over to the side of the road. His hands trembled as he rested his forehead against the steering wheel, the cool leather grounding him for just a moment.
Is this hurting you too?
He wondered if you were struggling as much as he was. Part of him selfishly hoped you were, that you missed him the way he missed you. But another part—the part that loved you more than he loved himself—hoped you were finding peace. Hoped you were happier without him, that his decision to let you go had given you the chance to find the stability, the life, you deserved.
Clutching a hand to his chest, he finally let the tears fall freely. The ache in his heart felt unbearable, like a piece of him had been ripped away and might never grow back. Would he ever be okay again? Would he ever know happiness without you?
He didn't know.
He wasn't sure he wanted to. But he told himself, over and over, that this was the right thing to do. It didn't matter if he was happy. It didn't matter if he felt whole again. All that mattered was you. And as he sat there, broken and lost, he prayed you were finding the happiness he couldn't give you, even if it meant he would never find it again.
It's okay... she'll find the right person now.
The right person. Who even decided what that meant? Who had the authority to label someone as right or wrong for you?
Maybe it was the lingering ache for Park Seonghwa, the way his name still carried the weight of memories you hadn't yet learned to let go. Or maybe it was the frustration bubbling inside you, resentment toward your parents for tricking you into meeting this man—the son of your father's business partner—the one they couldn't stop praising.
Jung Yunho, the perfect man, as they called him. He was everything they'd ever wanted for you, a textbook example of stability, charm, and success. But the problem wasn't him. It was you. You weren't ready, not yet. Maybe not ever. Years had passed since the breakup, but the ghost of what you had with Seonghwa still clung to you, a shadow that even time couldn't chase away.
"Hey," Yunho's voice pulled you back from your spiralling thoughts. His gaze, warm and sincere, met yours as he leaned in slightly. "You feeling alright?"
Caught off guard, you glanced down at your untouched plate of steak and managed a small nod. "I'm fine, don't worry about me."
But he didn't look convinced. Instead, his lips curved into a soft, reassuring smile—the kind that could probably disarm anyone, just not you. "How could I not, when such a pretty lady is sulking before me?" he teased gently. Before you could reply, he reached across the table, taking your plate without hesitation. "Here, let me help you."
With careful precision, he began cutting the steak into neat, bite-sized pieces. The gesture was so thoughtful, so kind, and yet it left you feeling hollow. It wasn't the act itself—it was the way it lacked the weight of familiarity.
Seonghwa used to do the same thing, but it had always been different with him. He'd grumble playfully about how you'd never learn to do it yourself, though he never minded doing it for you. His hands were smaller, more delicate, and you'd always find yourself staring at the faint scars from his crafts. Yunho's hands, while steady and practised, didn't hold the same history.
"All done," Yunho said cheerfully, sliding the plate back to you. "Now you have no excuse not to eat."
You forced a polite smile, murmuring a quiet "thank you" as you picked up your fork. Yunho didn't seem to notice the distant look in your eyes, or perhaps he was kind enough not to point it out.
He was wonderful. Thoughtful, patient, and sincere. By all accounts, he was the right person. But as you sat there, forcing yourself to chew, you couldn't help but wonder:
What if the right person wasn't the one who checked all the boxes? What if they were the one who didn't, but still felt like home?
The rest of the night crawled by like a snail, every passing second stretching unbearably long. You shifted in your seat, wishing you were anywhere but here. Yunho was a great guy—attentive, charming, and genuinely kind. But that only made it worse. He deserved someone who could meet his enthusiasm with equal fervour, someone who didn't have her mind wandering to someone else entirely.
You sighed quietly, pushing your barely touched drink to the side. What the hell was wrong with you? This was what you'd agreed to, wasn't it? This was what you'd sacrificed so much for. Years ago, you walked away from the love of your life because it felt like the right thing to do, to pursue the kind of stability and compatibility everyone insisted was more important than love alone. And now here it was, right in front of you.
The right person.
Yet, as you glanced at Jung Yunho's radiant smile, so effortlessly warm, the thought of spending the rest of your life with him felt less like the happy ending you'd envisioned and more like a cage. A beautiful, gilded cage that offered everything a woman could ever ask for—security, stability, admiration. Everything except the one thing your heart still longed for.
All you could ever find inside yourself was the same man you'd tried so hard to let go of.
Park Seonghwa.
Your chest tightened at the thought of him, your mind betraying you with memories you'd worked so hard to bury. You wondered how he was doing, though it wasn't as if you hadn't heard. Mutual friends kept you updated more than you cared to admit, their words painting glimpses of a life that no longer included you.
You'd heard he was finally making progress with his work, his passion—the very thing you'd once defended but later doubted. He'd opened a small store, modest but filled with so much of himself. It sold various collectable art pieces: action figures, miniatures for tabletop games, and custom character figurines crafted with meticulous care. Fans of Star Wars and Animal Crossing flocked to him, drawn to the detail and love that radiated from every piece he touched.
And you were proud of him. God, you were so proud of him.
He'd stayed true to himself, despite all the judgement, all the whispers about how he'd never make it, how he'd never be good enough. He'd proved them wrong. He'd built something meaningful, something entirely his own. You were happy for him, truly, but beneath that happiness lay an ache you couldn't ignore. You regretted not being there to witness it, to cheer for him when he finally achieved what he'd always dreamed of.
But maybe that wasn't what he wanted. For all you knew, he'd moved on, found someone who stayed by his side through all the highs and lows. Someone who loved him openly and without reservation, who didn't make him feel like he'd never measure up.
Or maybe he hadn't. Maybe he'd sworn off love entirely after the way things ended between you two.
Either way, you couldn't blame him. You wouldn't blame him. Not after the pain you'd both endured.
Yunho's voice broke through your thoughts, snapping you back to the present. "Is... everything okay? You've been quiet tonight." His concern was genuine, his eyes soft with worry, but you couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze.
"I'm fine," you lied, forcing a smile that didn't reach your eyes.
But deep down, you knew you weren't fine. And you didn't know if you ever would be.
"How much for that one?"
The tiny voice drew Seonghwa's attention, and he glanced down at the little girl standing on tiptoes, her small finger pointing eagerly at the figurine encased behind the counter. It was the only one displayed under glass, like a prized treasure—and in a way, it was.
He hummed, his eyes softening as he turned to look at the figure in question. The Kuromi figurine sat proudly on the top shelf, right next to the LED sign that glowed softly with his store's name: Star Mars. The design was intricate, every detail was carefully crafted with love and precision.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he said gently, crouching slightly to meet her gaze. "That one's not for sale. It's reserved for someone very special."
The little girl pouted, her lips forming a perfect curve of disappointment, and his heart melted a little. But no amount of adorable pouting—or even persuasive whining—could ever convince him to sell it.
That Kuromi figurine wasn't just a piece of art; it was a promise, a memory frozen in time. It was one of the first figurines he'd perfected, the culmination of years of practice and the relentless pursuit of his passion. He'd made it as a gift for you—his favourite girl.
It still is yours, if only you wanted it.
The child's father stepped forward, lifting her into his arms as he gave Seonghwa an apologetic bow. "Don't worry about her, Mr Park. I'll convince her to go with the Isabelle one instead."
Seonghwa chuckled softly, standing upright as he waved off the father's concern. "No problem at all. Isabelle's a great choice," he said, though his eyes lingered briefly on the Kuromi figurine.
As the father and daughter moved on to browse the other displays, Seonghwa found himself lost in thought. He didn't display that piece out of pride or for show—it was there because it reminded him of you. Of the nights you'd spend sitting cross-legged on the floor of his studio, playfully teasing him about his obsession with getting every detail just right.
"She looks like you," he'd said when he showed it to you for the first time. You'd laughed, brushing it off, but the glint of affection in your eyes told him you secretly loved the comparison.
He'd planned to give it to you on your birthday, but the timing never felt right. And then, before he knew it, you were gone.
The bell above the door jingled, the familiar sound slicing through the haze of his thoughts and yanking him back to the present. He straightened up, plastering on the polite smile he reserved for customers, though the weight in his chest never eased.
"Good evening! Welcome to…" His voice faltered mid-sentence, the words catching in his throat as his entire world screeched to a halt.
There you were.
It had been years, but time seemed to melt away the moment his eyes landed on you. You stood there in the soft glow of his store lights, more beautiful than he remembered—if that were even possible. Your silk dress shimmered gently with each subtle movement, an elegant coat draped effortlessly over your shoulders. The once long hair he used to run his fingers through was now cropped to your shoulders, framing your face in a way that made you look older, wiser—but still you.
Even after all this time, his heart betrayed him. It thundered in his chest, each beat screaming your name. He clenched his fist tightly at his side, willing himself to stay rooted where he stood. Every fibre of his being ached to run to you, to close the distance, but he couldn't. He shouldn't.
Slowly, shakily, he mustered a smile, though it felt like his heart might burst from the sheer force of its racing. Then, to his astonishment—and heartbreak—you returned it. A soft, familiar curve of your lips that nearly undid him.
But then, it fell apart.
The moment shattered as a tall, striking man stepped in behind you. He moved with easy confidence, his presence commanding attention as if the universe itself had tilted slightly to make room for him. Without hesitation, his hand found its way to your shoulder, resting there with an ease that spoke of familiarity.
"See anything you like?" the man asked, his deep voice carrying the warmth of intimacy as he looked down at you.
You blinked, startled, as if shaken from a dream. "Oh… I was just…" Your voice trailed off as your gaze flicked back to your ex-boyfriend, lingering for a moment longer than it should have.
Seonghwa's smile faltered, but he quickly schooled his expression, burying the ache that clawed at his chest. He nodded politely, forcing himself to focus on the customer standing in front of him—the both of you.
The Kuromi figurine sat silently on its shelf, bathed in soft light, waiting for a moment that might never come. The air inside the store suddenly felt stifling. Seonghwa stood behind the counter, his hands gripping its edge like it was the only thing keeping him grounded.
"Welcome to Star Mars," he said, his voice steady but his smile trembling under the weight of emotions. He forced it wider, hoping it would mask the whirlwind within. "It's been a while. How have you been?" His heart clenched as the words left his mouth. He wanted to sound casual, as though you were just another customer, but he couldn't. You weren't just anyone. You never had been.
You gave him a hesitant smile, one that didn't quite reach your eyes. "I've been good. How about you?"
Before he could answer, the man beside you—tall, broad-shouldered, and exuding warmth—stepped forward, his curiosity evident. "Oh, you two know each other? What a small world!" His voice was friendly, his smile sincere, and Seonghwa's chest tightened further.
He should feel relief. This man, presumably your boyfriend—or worse, your fiancé—seemed perfect for you. He was everything Seonghwa had wanted for you when he stepped away, believing he could never give you the life you deserved. And yet, it felt like the ground was crumbling beneath him.
You cleared your throat, shifting uncomfortably. "Yes, this is Seonghwa. He's... an old friend of mine."
Old friend. The words landed like a punch to his stomach, but he kept his composure.
The man extended a hand toward him, his smile unwavering. "I'm Yunho. It's nice to meet you! Next time my nieces and nephews need new toys, I'll know who to come to."
Seonghwa took his hand, shaking it firmly while managing a polite smile. "Nice to meet you too." His gaze flickered back to you, catching the way you avoided meeting his eyes.
As if on cue, Yunho's phone buzzed in his pocket, and he excused himself, stepping outside to take the call. For the first time since you'd entered, the air felt heavy with unspoken words.
You turned back to your ex, your eyes meeting his briefly before dropping to the counter. "Congratulations... Seonghwa," you whispered, his name falling from your lips like a fragile memory. "It's good to see how far you've come."
He nodded slowly, his smile softer now, though the ache in his eyes remained. "Thank you. And... congratulations to you as well," he said, glancing toward the window where Yunho stood. "He seems amazing."
The kindness in his tone made it hurt even more.
"No," you blurted, shaking your head. "He's not... we're just... friends. I don't..." Your words faltered, your voice trembling. "I'm not with anyone."
His brows lifted in surprise, but he stayed silent, his lips pressed into a thin line. You wished he'd say something, anything, but the way his eyes softened, brimming with a mix of emotions—relief, hesitation, and something deeper—was answer enough.
Your breath hitched when your gaze landed on the figurine behind him. Kuromi. Encased in glass, displayed on the highest shelf. You remembered the countless hours he'd spent perfecting it, the way he'd proudly shown you the finished piece.
He still kept it.
Before you could find the courage to ask why, Yunho reappeared, his presence cutting through the tension like a blade. "Hey, sorry to cut your little catch-up session short, but something urgent came up at work, and I—"
Seonghwa straightened, his polite smile snapping back into place. "Of course, don't let me keep you."
Your heart sank as he turned to you, bowing slightly. "It was nice seeing you again."
You forced a smile, though your chest ached with everything left unsaid. "It was nice seeing you too."
As you followed Yunho out, you couldn't resist glancing back one last time. Your eyes met Seonghwa's, and in that fleeting moment, it felt as though a thousand words passed between you.
Regret. Longing. Love.
The bell above the door jingled again as you stepped out, your heart heavy with the weight of the encounter. Yunho was quiet as he drove, his hands steady on the wheel. The silence between you felt thick, almost suffocating, but you didn't know what to say. How could you explain the whirlwind of emotions raging inside you without sounding selfish or ungrateful?
"It's him, isn't it?" Yunho's voice broke through your thoughts, soft but resolute.
Your head snapped toward him, your heart pounding in panic. "What… what do you mean?" you stammered, the guilt already clawing its way to the surface.
He sighed, pulling the car to a gentle stop in front of your home. Turning to face you, he gave you a small, knowing smile. "The man from the store. Park Seonghwa, right? He's the one you've been thinking about all night. Tell me if I'm wrong."
Your breath caught, your hands fumbling with the seatbelt as you tried to come up with a response. But the look in his eyes told you that lying wasn't an option. "I…" You paused, finally managing to unfasten the seatbelt, but your words seemed caught in your throat. "I'm sorry, Yunho. I didn't mean for this to happen."
He leaned back with a quiet chuckle, shaking his head. "You don't have to apologise. If anything, I should be the one saying sorry. I knew from the beginning that you weren't exactly thrilled about this arrangement, but I still went along with it, hoping… I don't know, that maybe something would change."
You felt tears sting your eyes, and you turned away, unable to meet his gaze. "You deserve better than this," you whispered, your voice trembling.
"Hey." He reached out, his hand covering yours with a comforting warmth. "Look at me."
Reluctantly, you turned back to him, your vision blurred with unshed tears.
"You don't owe me anything," he said gently. "This… whatever this was supposed to be, it wouldn't have worked if both of us weren't fully in it. And that's okay. You know why?"
You shook your head, your voice barely audible. "Why?"
"Because this decision—choosing who you want to be with—it's for you, not for your parents, not for me, and certainly not for anyone else. It should never be about what people think or what they want. It's your life. Live it for yourself."
His words struck you like a bolt of lightning, unravelling years of self-doubt and regret. He was right. How had you allowed yourself to be swept up in everyone else's expectations, losing sight of what truly mattered to you?
You sat back in your seat, letting his words sink in, feeling a strange mix of guilt and liberation. After a long moment, you nodded, your voice steadier now. "Thank you, Yunho. For everything."
He smiled, his eyes kind and understanding. "Go on," he said, tilting his head toward your house. "And don't let fear hold you back this time."
As you stepped out of the car, his words echoed in your mind, igniting a spark of courage you hadn't felt in years.
You turned back, watching as Yunho drove away, his figure disappearing into the night. And for the first time in a long time, you felt a sliver of clarity.
It wasn't too late. You still had a choice to make. And this time, you'd make it for yourself.
The shop was quiet now, save for the soft hum of the ceiling fan and the occasional rustle of paper as Seonghwa meticulously wrapped the Isabelle and Grogu figurines the pair of father and daughter finally agreed on getting. His movements were precise, his focus seemingly sharp, but his mind was elsewhere—stuck on the brief yet piercing encounter that had just walked out of his life again.
"That Kuromi one… it's for the pretty lady earlier, isn't it?"
The father's voice broke through Seonghwa's haze, and his hands froze briefly before resuming their task. He didn't look up, focusing instead on folding the edges of the wrapping paper with unnecessary care. "You might be right," he said after a pause, his voice quieter than intended. "But it doesn't matter if it is."
The man tilted his head, a subtle frown forming as he cradled his daughter closer. "And why's that? It clearly still means a lot to you both."
Seonghwa finally glanced up, forcing a polite smile, though it faltered almost immediately. "You saw it yourself... she's with someone else. Someone better." The words tasted bitter as they left his mouth, laced with a resignation he didn't quite believe in.
The man sighed, shifting the little girl in his arms so she could hold her new Grogu figurine. He regarded your ex with a look that felt far too knowing. "I also saw how she looked at you," he said softly. "And she didn't look like someone who's better off."
Seonghwa blinked, caught off guard, but the customer wasn't finished. His gaze drifted toward the cute purple figurine that was not for sale, and for a moment, his expression softened into something fragile—something etched with pain.
"You know," he began, his voice dropping to a near whisper, "my wife used to love Sanrio too. She had this little Cinnamoroll keychain she carried everywhere." He chuckled faintly, the sound bittersweet. "I always thought I'd have more time to make her smile, to give her the little things that made her happy. But time doesn't wait for anyone. One day, it was just… gone."
The weight of his words hung heavy in the air, and Seonghwa felt something tighten in his chest.
The man glanced at him then, his eyes filled with a quiet intensity that seemed to pierce through Seonghwa's carefully built walls. "I don't know what's between you and her, Mr Park. But I do know this: regret is a heavy thing to carry. Don't let it weigh you down, not if you can still do something about it."
He gave Seonghwa a small, sad smile, the kind of smile that spoke of lessons learned too late, before taking the bag of purchased items. "Sometimes, all it takes is one step in the right direction. Don't let the chance slip away."
And then he was gone, the bell above the door jingling faintly as father and daughter disappeared into the night.
Seonghwa stood motionless behind the counter, his gaze drifting back to the Kuromi figurine in its glass case. The light reflected off it, casting faint shadows on the shelf behind it. It was meant for you. It had always been for you.
The father's words replayed in his mind, unrelenting in their simplicity and truth. He leaned against the counter, his eyes fixed on the figurine made just for you, but his thoughts were elsewhere—back to you, back to all the moments that had led to this one.
Back then, he'd convinced himself he was doing the right thing, letting you go so you could find the happiness he didn't think he could give you. He thought he was being selfless, noble even, sacrificing his own heart so you could find someone better—someone who deserved you. But now, the cracks in that logic were glaringly obvious. What had any of this accomplished? Neither of you had found happiness in the way he'd hoped.
The truth was harsh: he hadn't even tried. He hadn't fought to be better for you, to grow into someone worthy of your love. Instead, he'd accepted the version of himself the world seemed to see—a man with dreams too small and ambitions too impractical. He'd let himself believe that you deserved someone like Yunho, someone who fit the mould of what your parents and society thought was 'right.'
But things were different now. He wasn't that man anymore. He'd worked hard, not for anyone else but for himself. Every step he'd taken to build his store, every figurine he'd crafted with his own hands, every small milestone he'd achieved—it was proof that he could create something meaningful. And if he could do that, maybe he could create a life with you.
His heart clenched at the thought of you with Yunho, not because he doubted the man's worth, but because he knew Yunho could never hold your heart the way he still did. Yunho was everything society said you should want—stable, charming, perfect on paper. But love wasn't about paper. Love was about the way you used to light up whenever he showed you his newest creation, about the quiet nights you'd spent talking about everything and nothing, about the way your hand had always felt right in his.
Suddenly, the idea of the 'right person' seemed so absurd. There was no such thing. The right person wasn't someone who ticked all the boxes. The right person was the one you chose to love, again and again, flaws and all.
And you had chosen him once.
The real question now was whether you still would.
He straightened, his resolve hardening like molten metal cooling into steel. What kind of love was it if he could stand by and watch you settle for less than what you deserved? Not less in status or wealth, but less in the kind of happiness that made life worth living. What kind of love let you spend the rest of your days with someone who could never truly make your heart race?
Seonghwa wouldn't let that happen—not if he could help it.
His gaze lingered on the Kuromi figurine one last time before he moved toward the back room. He needed to think, to plan, to figure out how to tell you everything he should have said years ago.
If there was even the slightest chance that you still felt the same way, he would take it. Because this time, he wasn't letting fear or pride or anyone else's expectations get in the way.
This time, he was going to fight for you.
"Well...? Aren't you going to ask me how it went?" you asked, your voice sharp, as you stepped into the house. Your mother flinched, bowing her head slightly, her hands fidgeting with the hem of her apron. She hesitated for a moment before coming up to you slowly, her eyes brimming with guilt.
"Yunho called," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "He said he wishes not to force you."
A bitter laugh escaped your lips, devoid of any humour. "Of course, it took an outsider's words for you to finally see how exhausting this has been for me," you said, your tone cutting. "All this talk about marriage, about finding the right man... who is it really for? Who am I doing this for, hm? Is it for my own happiness? Or... oh, right." You smiled grimly. "It never was about my happiness, was it? It was about keeping up appearances, about pleasing everyone but me."
Your mother's face crumpled as her gaze fell to the floor. The weight of your words hung heavy in the air, thick with unspoken truths.
Your father, who had been sitting silently at the dining table, let out a long, weary sigh. He leaned forward, clasping his hands together as though trying to steady himself. "We thought we were doing what was best for you," he said, his voice low, burdened with regret. "We thought... if we guided you toward someone like Yunho, we were ensuring a future where you'd be safe, secure."
"Safe?" you repeated, your voice breaking. "From what? From being myself? From choosing the person who actually makes me happy? You never trusted me to make my own decisions. You never thought I was capable of knowing what I want, what I need."
Your mother reached for your hand, her touch tentative. "It wasn't like that," she said, though her voice wavered. "We were scared. Scared that you'd make a mistake, scared that you'd regret it later, scared that—"
"You mean you were scared," you interrupted, pulling your hand back. "Scared of what people would say. Scared of what the neighbours, the relatives, society would think. But you never stopped to ask me what I thought. What I felt."
Tears glistened in her eyes now, spilling over as she shook her head. "You're right," she whispered, her voice cracking. "You're absolutely right. We were selfish. We thought we knew better, but we didn't. We never meant to hurt you, but we see now that we did. We hurt you by not listening, by not trusting you."
Your father stood, his movements deliberate, his face sombre. "If he's the one you want, if he's the one who makes you happy, then we'll support you. No more pushing, no more trying to control your life. It's your choice. It always should've been your choice."
For a moment, the room fell silent. The tension that had loomed for so long finally began to dissipate, leaving behind a tentative sense of relief.
You inhaled shakily, the weight in your chest lifting just a little. It wasn't a perfect resolution—there was still so much to work through—but this was a start. A start you'd been longing for. "Thank you," you said softly, the words fragile but sincere. "Thank you for finally understanding."
And as your mother pulled you into a trembling embrace, you allowed yourself to hope that things could finally change. She smiled softly, brushing a hand against your cheek as if to assure you it was okay now. Your father stood behind her, his expression a mixture of pride and something deeper—perhaps the weight of finally letting go.
They exchanged a glance before your father nodded toward the door. "Go," he said quietly, his voice firm but warm. "Go where your heart tells you to. We'll always be here."
You blinked, stunned by their words, and for a moment, you couldn't move. But then, the weight in your chest lifted, replaced by an urgency that made your pulse race. Without another word, you turned and rushed out, barely remembering to grab your keys on the way.
Your car roared to life as you sped through the streets, your destination clear as day in your mind. Star Mars. The silly name you'd suggested in passing all those years ago, never imagining he'd actually use it. Your heart pounded harder with every turn, a mix of hope and fear swirling in your chest. Would he still want you after all this time? Did it matter? Even if he didn't, you needed him to know. You needed to tell him how you felt—how you still felt.
Parking haphazardly in front of his store, you didn't waste a second before bolting toward it. But as you reached the doors, your heart sank. The store was dark, the lights off, the doors locked. "Closed" hung starkly on the door, though the shops around it buzzed with life.
You froze, staring through the glass, confusion and dread pooling in your stomach. It's not even closing time yet... Had seeing you earlier bothered him that much? Had you pushed him away again, without even realising it?
Slumping against the door, you bit back tears, the overwhelming sense of missed chances clawing at your chest. Sure, you could come back another day. But you'd already lost so much time, wasted so many years pretending you didn't want this, pretending you didn't love him. You didn't want to waste another second.
Your gaze drifted inside the store, scanning the shelves. Your breath caught when you noticed something was missing. The Kuromi figurine—the one you'd lingered on earlier—was gone. You frowned, stepping closer to the glass. It had been there before. Where had it gone?
"Looking for this?"
The familiar voice made you spin around so fast you nearly stumbled. There he was, standing just a few feet away, the Kuromi figurine clutched in his hand, still encased in its protective plastic.
Your breath hitched as tears filled your eyes. "You took her off the shelf?" you asked, your voice trembling with emotion as you took a tentative step toward him. "Where were you planning to take her?"
He smiled softly, though his eyes glistened with unshed tears of his own. "I was going to take her to her rightful owner," he murmured, his voice steady but tender.
Your heart stopped at his words, and you whispered shakily, "Was? So you're not taking her anymore?"
He shook his head slowly. "No."
"Why not?"
He hesitated, the weight of years of longing and regret pressing against his chest. But then, the words of the customer from earlier echoed in his mind. Don't wait until it's too late. He looked at you—really looked at you—and knew, without a doubt, that this moment was the answer he'd been waiting for.
Taking a careful step forward, he reached for your hand, his fingers brushing softly against yours. His breath hitched when your fingers instinctively curled around his, holding on as though letting go would shatter everything.
"Because you're already here," he murmured, his voice trembling with unspoken emotion.
For the first time in what felt like an eternity, your heart felt whole again. The ache of countless nights spent longing for him, convinced you'd never feel his love again, melted away. Here he was—right in front of you—just like all those years ago. Yet, it felt different now. It felt... right. Because this time, neither of you would let fear or doubt stand in the way. This time, you were both ready to fight for it, to grow, to compromise, and to hold on.
"Hwa, I... I need to tell you something," you began, your voice shaking, each word heavy with the weight of years spent in silence. Your eyes searched his, desperate to convey everything your heart had been screaming in his absence. But before you could say more, he smiled—a small, trembling curve of his lips that held every ounce of love and pain he'd been holding back.
His eyes glistened as he leaned in, his forehead gently meeting yours, grounding you, binding you in a way that no words ever could. The moment felt infinite, a pause in time where your souls met in unspoken understanding.
"I love you too," he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion, raw and honest. Before you could process the words, his lips found yours, soft and warm, carrying all the unspoken promises, all the years of longing, all the love you thought you'd lost.
The world blurred and softened around you—the hum of the street and the glow of the city lights dissolving into nothingness. All that remained was him, the familiar scent of his cologne, the steady warmth of his hands cradling your face, the way his heart seemed to beat in perfect rhythm with yours.
In that kiss, you felt everything: the heartbreak, the yearning, the hope, and, most of all, the love that had endured time, separation, and pain. It was as if every broken piece of your heart was mending, every crack filled with the warmth of his love.
When you finally pulled apart, your foreheads remained pressed together, your breaths mingling in the quiet night. His thumb brushed away a tear you hadn't realised had fallen, his touch tender and sure.
"This time," he murmured, his voice steady but full of emotion, "I'm not letting you go."
And you knew—you both knew—that this time, nothing would keep you apart.
Istg, this wasn't meant to be so long. I wasn't even sure I wanted to give it a happy ending at first, but then I just kept getting carried away and voila. I swear I am working on Yunho's chapter of By Order of the Black Pirates bit by bit hehe just had to get this out of my system first.
As always, thank you for reading and hope y'all liked this one! Do let me know your thoughts! <3
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➤𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝗔𝗿𝗲𝘀 (𝗮𝘀 𝗟𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘀) 𝗠𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗬𝗼𝘂 || Ares ||
Each time Ares, disguised as Leonidas, met with you, something changed. At first, it was mere curiosity—a mortal who intrigued him, a girl too soft for a world ruled by war. But soon, it became something more.
Because the moment where he told you the truth you were finally his.
A/n: Beep Bop here is more.

1. The First Meeting – A Flicker of Interest
(The Palace Gardens, Under the Olive Tree)
You had been sitting under an ancient olive tree, weaving delicate patterns into cloth, humming softly to yourself. The sound stopped Ares in his tracks.
He had planned to observe Ithaca from a distance, but this mortal girl—this gentle, blushing thing—drew his attention against his will.
You looked up as he approached, your eyes wide, cautious, but not fearful.
“Are you lost, sir?” You asked, tilting your head slightly.
Ares smirked. Lost? He, the god of war, lost?
And yet—he did not move.
“Something like that,” he murmured, watching the way your fingers curled around the cloth. Delicate hands, meant for creation, not destruction.
“Would you like to sit?” You offered, hesitant yet kind.
Ares hesitated—gods did not sit among mortals.
But Leonidas did.
And so, for the first time in his eternal existence, Ares sat beside a mortal girl beneath an olive tree, and listened.
⸻
2. The Evening by the Fire – A Moment of Weakness
(The Servants’ Quarters, Late Night)
You had been sitting by the fire, rubbing warmth into your fingers after a long day’s work. You did not expect company.
But Leonidas appeared in the doorway, his broad frame casting shadows along the walls.
You blinked in surprise. “You again.”
Ares smirked, stepping forward. “Disappointed?”
Warmth creeped up your neck—a reaction that both amused and unsettled him. “No,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.
He sat beside you, stretching out his long legs, staring into the fire. It reminded him of battlefields, of cities burning—but here, beside you, it was only warmth.
You glanced at him, fidgeting with the edge of your sleeve. “You… don’t speak like the other men.”
Ares raised a brow. “Is that a complaint?”
A little smile twitched at the end of your lips, you shook your head quickly. “No. Just… different.”
He studied you in the firelight, something unfamiliar settling in his chest. “And you are not like other women.”
Your lips parted slightly, your fingers stilling against your lap. Ares had fought wars for far less than the way you looked at him then.
⸻
3. The Rainstorm – A Shared Secret
(A Hidden Corridor, Ithaca’s Palace, During a Storm)
The storm had been sudden, turning the sky dark, the thunder like a battle cry. You had pressed yourself into a small alcove to avoid the rain, your dress already damp.
And then—he was there.
Ares had been returning from his observations of the palace when he saw you—drenched, shivering, your hair clinging to your skin.
He stepped into the alcove beside you, his towering presence filling the small space. “You’ll catch a cold,” he muttered.
You looked up, breathless from the cold and from him. “I— I didn’t think I’d see you tonight.”
Ares—Leonidas—exhaled sharply. Neither had he.
Without thinking, he pulled his cloak from his shoulders, draping it around you.
You had froze, the heavy fabric settled over you, his warmth still lingering in it....his scent
Ares clenched his jaw, avoiding her gaze. Why did he keep doing this?
“…Thank you,” you whispered, pulling the cloak tighter around your body.
He hated the way it made something stir inside him.
⸻
4. The Night He Broke Antinous’ Hand – The Turning Point
(The Courtyard, Moonlit Shadows)
You had been crying.
Ares never handled weakness well—he was not built for softness. But when he saw you, trembling in his cloak after Antinous had torn your dress, something inside him snapped.
He had not hesitated. He had not thought. He had simply acted.
And after he shattered Antinous’ hand, after he had thrown him to the ground like the worthless creature he was, he turned back to you.
You had been watching him, wide-eyed, breathless.
He expected fear.
But all he saw was relief.
That night, when you leant against him, seeking his protection—it was over for him.
Ares was lost.
⸻
5. The First Kiss – No Going Back
(The Palace Courtyard, Beneath the Moon)
Ares should have left. He should have walked away.
But you had called his name, and gods help him, he had turned back.
“Leonidas…”
He hadn’t planned to kiss you. He hadn’t planned to ruin everything.
But then you looked at him—with trust, with something dangerously close to adoration—and he could not hold back.
Your first kiss with him was not gentle. It was raw, desperate.
Passionate.
Your hands fisted in his cloak, pulling him closer even as you shuddered against him.
And Ares—a god of war, a being of blood and conquest—kissed you as if you were the only battle he had ever wanted to lose.
⸻
6. The Moment He Almost Told you the Truth
(A Cliffside Overlooking the Sea, Just Before Dawn)
He had taken you here to see the sunrise, to hear the waves crash below, to breathe in air that was not tainted by the stench of the suitors who sought to claim you.
You stood at the edge of the cliff, wind tugging at your hair, your fingers curled around the edges of his cloak—the same cloak you had never returned.
Ares watched her, hands clenched at his sides. He should tell you.
That he was not a mortal man.
That he was not Leonidas.
That he was Ares, god of war, and he had never belonged to anything—until now.
You turned, smiling softly. “You’re always watching over me,” you murmured, tilting your head.
His breath caught. You had no idea, did you?
How he had fought entire wars and never cared for the outcome. How he had watched cities burn and never once felt regret.
How now—he would burn the world to protect you, anything for you.
He stepped closer, his fingers reaching—almost touching your cheek—before he pulled away.
You frowned, sensing something unspoken. “Leonidas?”
Ares forced a smirk. “Enjoy the sunrise, little dove.”
And for now, he did not tell you
Because gods were not meant to love mortals.
But he loved you anyway.
The storm raged above Ithaca, winds howling as the sea crashed violently against the cliffs. The gods were watching.
Ares—no, not Leonidas, not anymore—stood before you, drenched in rain, his bronze-gold eyes burning with something far more dangerous than war.
The truth.
Your hair was soaked, your eyes searching his face, confusion and something far softer lingering in your gaze.
Ares clenched his fists. He did not want to do this.
He did not want to see fear in your eyes.
He did not want to you her turn away from him.
But you deserved the truth. And he could not lie to you any longer.
“I am not the man you think I am,” he said, his voice raw, breaking against the storm.
You took a small step forward, shivering beneath the weight of his cloak. “Leonidas—”
He let out a bitter laugh. “Leonidas does not exist.”
Silence.
Then—a sharp exhale, barely audible above the thunder.
You stared at him, your delicate fingers tightening around the fabric of his cloak. “What… do you mean?”
Ares felt his chest tighten. This was it. The moment you would see him as he truly was.
He lifted his hand. The air around them shifted, the storm bending to his will, responding to the god who had commanded armies and watched empires crumble.
Lightning flashed, and for the first time, you saw him as he was meant to be seen.
The disguise fell away.
No longer was he just a rugged soldier with dark hair and warm bronze eyes. He was Ares.
His black tunic clung to his rain-soaked body, his shoulders broad and impossibly strong, his golden bracers gleaming beneath the stormlight. His hair was no longer mortal black, but dark fire, shifting like embers.
And his eyes—his cursed, immortal eyes—were not bronze, but molten gold, burning like the flames of war itself.
Your breath caught.
He expected terror. Expected you to recoil, to whisper his name in horror, as so many others had.
But you did not run.
She simply looked at him.
Not in fear.
Not in worship.
But as if you were truly seeing him for the first time.
Ares swallowed, his voice rough. “I am Ares. The god of war. The destroyer of empires. The breaker of kings.”
He stepped closer, his heart pounding. “And I have lied to you. I have let you believe I was something else—someone else. But this is who I am. A god who has no place among mortals. A god who—”
He faltered. Because you were still staring at him the same way you always had.
Not with fear. But with love.
You blinked, your eyes soft, almost knowing.
“Is that all?” You asked quietly, your head tipped to the side.
Ares froze.
The words struck him harder than any blade ever had.
You took a small step closer, your gaze never leaving his. “I already knew you were something more, Leonidas—Ares.” His name on your lips sent something wild through him. “I just… didn’t know what.”
Ares clenched his fists, jaw tight. “You should hate me.”
You shook your head. “Why?”
His breath hitched. Why?
Why were you not afraid? Why were you still standing before him, reaching for him as if he was not destruction incarnate?
“You are a god, Ares,” you whispered, stepping forward, your fingers soft against his chest. “But you have never hurt me. You have only protected me.”
You tilted your head, your voice barely audible above the rain.
“And I love you.”
Ares staggered.
He had been prepared for anything—hatred, terror, even the crushing silence of loss.
But not this.
Not acceptance.Not love.
His breath came hard, uneven, his control slipping beneath her touch. “You don’t understand—”
You reached up, cupping his face with her trembling hands. “Then help me understand.”
Ares broke.
With a growl, he crushed his lips to yours, a kiss that was not gentle, not mortal, but desperate and divine.
You gasped against him but did not pull away. Instead, you melted into him, soft where he was hard, warm where he was cold.
Ares had never known peace—but in that moment, in her arms, in the rain, he almost believed it existed.
And for the first time in his eternal existence—
Ares was not at war.
He was simply yours
#drabbles#drabble#ares#epic ares#ares god of war#ares deity#ares x reader#ares x you#epic the musical x reader#epic x reader#greek god x reader#greek mythology x reader#greek gods#greek mythology#mythology#epic the musical#god x mortal#god x reader
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BUS STOP ────── confronting your best friend for avoiding you ends in an unexpected way ..



엔하이펜 니키 x fem reader / non idol au ────fluff . angst . best friends to lovers . high school au ♡ skinship . swearing . bickering 734WC 。。 ARCHIVE ( ˶ˆ3ˆ˵ )
- ai’s love note 💌 this is not proof read sorry ^^
“You’re avoiding me.” Riki stops in his tracks when he hears the slight crack in your voice, hesitation filling his mind. Sighing, he slowly turns to face you, an anxious expression on his face.
“I don't know what you’re talking about” You raise an eyebrow in suspicion, and Riki seems to notice. His behavior becomes cautious because he knows you can read him like an open book.
You let out a sigh, “Did I do anything wrong?” The tall male gulps and scratches the back of his neck. "N-no," he mutters. You know he’s lying — you've known him since you were five.
Whenever you try to greet him in the halls, he avoids your gaze and walks away, during lunchtime he seems to disappear from your sight, and he won’t talk to you unless you force him to. So here you are, confronting him at a bus stop.
“Tell me the truth, I don't like you avoiding me” He sighs as he knows he has to give up his facade, but instead decides to ramble out excuses and dumb reasons so he doesn't have to admit the embarrassing truth.
You scoff at his stupid excuses, determined to know the truth — you shove him onto the bench, trying to appear intimidating even though he’s still taller than you sitting down. The height difference causes a flush of red to spread across your cheeks, making you flustered.
Thoughts race through your mind as you overthink why he has been avoiding you. Is he tired of you? Is he embarrassed to be your friend? Or does he simply hate you now? Your heart aches at the possibility that it might be true.
Riki noticed your sad expression, and it felt like his heart shattered into a million pieces. The last thing he wanted was to see you upset. Yet, he couldn’t help but feel his heart flutter at the adorable pout on your lips — it was as if you had cast a spell on him.
“Listen.. It’s not that I don't want to be friends with you anymore, it's just-” You hated all of the possible reasons he might have had, so you cut him off. “Then why? Just tell me the truth.”
Riki’s eyes widened, and he felt like he could melt from embarrassment. He was hesitant to admit the reason behind his feelings. You rambled about him probably being embarrassed to be your friend and his brows furrowed to see you think he could ever feel that way. “I know it! You hate me don’t you-” But then you hear a deep voice snap, and you freeze in place.
“I like you!”
Your eyes widened, and the world seemed to stop. Riki looked down in shame, and you were still in disbelief. “You like me..?” Riki nodded, flustered as he fidgeted with his fingers.
“I'm sorry.. I know we’re just friends but-” Riki flinched in surprise when he felt you tug on his hoodie and kiss his lips, his heart thumping in his chest. His eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights.
After a few moments, he felt himself close his eyes and kiss you back. His hands gently explored the skin of your waist while you played with his hair. When you finally let go to catch your breath, Riki wore a pout on his lips, clearly not wanting you to stop. In Riki's eyes, it was as if you had stars shining within your eyes, and he couldn’t bring himself to look away.
He was in a love-struck trance, his mind was only on you. But then he felt a light slap on his cheek. Plap! “That’s for being stupid! We could have been dating right now if you weren't so dumb!”Typical of you, he thought. He let out a laugh at your offended look and pulled you in for a second kiss, making you the flustered one.
But what you two didn't know was that Sunoo and Jungwon were watching with binoculars, gasping at the two of you.
“Hah! Pay up, Jungwon” Jungwon rolled his eyes, knowing he had to pay Sunoo twenty bucks because he lost the bet. There was no way that Riki was smart enough to confess, but he had misjudged him.
Jungwon scoffed as he reached for his school bag and reluctantly handed the money to Sunoo, making Sunoo giggle, knowing he was right.
#. 吻 ✧ 𝖽𝗈𝗇’𝗍 𝗆𝗂𝐬𝗌#k-labels#en-diaries#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen angst#enhypen scenarios#enhypen imagine#enhypen imagines#enhypen x reader#enhypen comfort#enhypen smau#enhypen riki#enhypen niki#riki fluff#riki x reader#riki angst#y/n x riki#nishimura riki#nishimura riki fluff#nishimura riki x reader#nishimura riki angst#niki fluff#ni-ki#ni-ki x reader#ni-ki angst#ni-ki fluff#kim sunoo#yang jungwon#𝓅oèmes / ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )🌺. d’𝒶mour
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FAULT LINE.

“So stay for the night, it’ll bury the crime.” — Your relationship ended, but neither of you seem to let go. It took you multiple nights to realize what’s it all about.
pairing. Lando Norris x fem! reader
warnings. angst, hurt/no comfort, mention of sexual activities, unhealthy ex relationship, Lando being dickhead and fuckboy, mention of cheating.
music. Siren Sounds by Tate Mcrae.
FROM THE START, you knew deep down that your relationship with Lando Norris was something of a modern tragedy, destined to unravel in chaos. There was an inevitability to it—a feeling you couldn't shake, no matter how many times you convinced yourself otherwise. Something about the two of you felt doomed, as if the universe itself had conspired to keep you apart.
How could he date someone like you? That question lingered in your mind more than you cared to admit, sowing tiny seeds of doubt that threatened to grow.
Everyone told you he was wrong for you. His party demeanor, his carefree lifestyle—none of it aligned with yours. You heard the whispers, the warnings, the concerned looks that came with every mention of his name. He wasn’t the type to settle down, they said. He wasn’t the type to treat you the way you deserved. But you didn’t want to believe them. You couldn’t, because to believe them would mean letting go of the image you had built of him in your mind.
For a while, you held onto hope, believing that perhaps your connection was different, special. You thought you saw sides of him that others didn’t, glimpses of vulnerability that he only showed to you. Maybe, just maybe, you could be the one to change him.
But hope has its limits, and reality eventually makes its way through even the most determined denial. At least you found out the truth—he cheated. The realization hit like a blow to the chest, knocking the wind out of you. You had seen the signs, of course. The late-night texts, the moments when he seemed distant, distracted. But you ignored them, telling yourself it was nothing, that he cared for you more than he let on.
When the truth came out, it shattered the fragile illusion you had been holding onto. You didn’t scream or cry, at least not in front of him. Instead, you stood there, numb, as he fumbled for excuses that you didn’t want to hear. The betrayal burned, the realization that you had ignored the warnings, pushed aside the doubts, only to end up here, heartbroken and questioning everything.
You knew from the beginning that it was destined to be a disaster. But knowing didn’t make it hurt any less.
For the first time in your life, you had done something purely for yourself. You had walked away from the chaos, from the heartbreak, from Lando Norris. It was liberating, empowering even. You told yourself you were done, that you were moving on, that you deserved better. But then, as if he could sense your newfound strength, Lando started to pull you back in.
It began with the texts—short, simple messages that carried far more weight than they should have. “I miss you,” he’d write, and you’d stare at the screen, torn between deleting the message and replying. Then came the calls, his voice on the other end of the line, soft and familiar, stirring emotions you thought you had buried. Sometimes, those calls ended with him at your doorstep, his presence filling the space you had tried so hard to make your own.
Even though you told yourself you were far from over him, the truth was undeniable. You loved him. Part of you hated him, too, for the pain he had caused, for the betrayal that had shattered your trust. But you couldn’t let him go. No matter how much you tried, no matter how many times you told yourself it was over, he had a hold on you that you couldn’t break.
If he wanted to be a casual fling, a “fuckbuddy,” as you bitterly called it in your mind, you’d let him. Because the thought of losing him again was unbearable. You’d rather have him in fragments than not at all. It was a tragic compromise, one that left you feeling hollow and conflicted, but it was the only way you knew how to keep him in your life.
Every time he came over, you told yourself it would be the last. You’d let him in, share a moment of intimacy, and then promise yourself you’d end it. But when he looked at you with those unforgettable eyes, when he smiled that devastating smile, all your resolve crumbled. He was your weakness, your addiction, and no matter how much you hated yourself for it, you couldn’t walk away.
“I have to go,” Lando said abruptly, his voice cutting through the stillness of the room. He was already moving, quickly getting up from the bed and gathering his clothes from the floor in a hurried, almost frantic manner. You lay there, still trying to catch your breath, your chest rising and falling as you watched him. The sight was all too familiar—him leaving, always leaving.
“Like always,” you muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes as you sat up and began to pull on your clothes. The words were laced with bitterness, but you didn’t bother to hide it. Why should you? This wasn’t the first time, and you knew it wouldn’t be the last. He was always in a rush, always somewhere else to be, someone else to see.
There was no aftercare, no lingering moments of tenderness, no asking how you were doing. Nothing. It was as if the sex you just had evaporated the moment he decided it was time to leave. The bed still carried the warmth of his presence, but the room already felt colder, emptier.
You glanced at him as he pulled his shirt over his head, his movements quick and efficient, like he was checking off a task on a to-do list. He didn’t even look at you, didn’t notice the way your expression hardened, the way your hands trembled slightly as you buttoned your shirt.
This was the pattern, the routine you had come to expect. And yet, every time it happened, it stung just as much as the first. You told yourself you were fine with it, that you didn’t need more from him, but deep down, you knew that wasn’t true. You wanted more—more than hurried goodbyes and empty promises, more than being just another pitstop on his endless journey.
You followed him to the kitchen, your feet moving before your mind could decide why. There he was, standing by the counter, tossing his keys in his hand as if he couldn’t wait to leave. “See you later. I love you,” he said casually, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Every word of that sentence landed like a question in your head. See you later? Absolutely not. And I love you? Did he even mean it, or was it just something he said out of habit? It made your stomach twist in a way you couldn’t quite put into words.
“Yeah, of course,” you snapped, cutting him off mid-departure. The edge in your voice was unmistakable, sharp enough to make him stop in his tracks. His hand froze on the doorknob, and he turned to face you, his brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?” he asked, stepping closer, his voice softer now.
You crossed your arms, the tension in your body rising with every step he took toward you. Oh, so now he cares? you thought bitterly. It was ironic, really. When he was cold, distant, disappearing without a second thought, it was fine. He didn’t ask how you felt, didn’t stay long enough to notice. But now, when you mirrored that same detachment, it wasn’t okay. Now, he wanted answers.
“Nothing,” you shrugged casually, your tone as indifferent as you could muster. Right, nothing was wrong. Why was he even asking that? The question felt hollow, almost laughable, given the circumstances. You turned away slightly, avoiding his gaze, as if the act of looking at him might unravel the fragile composure you were clinging to.
“You know I love you,” he said, his voice soft but insistent, as though repeating the words would make them true. But for you, they were far from the truth. You didn’t know it. How could you? Love wasn’t supposed to feel like this—like a constant tug-of-war between hope and heartbreak, between wanting more and settling for less.
“You say that only because we fuck,” you reminded him, your voice sharp and cutting. The words hung heavy in the air, a brutal truth you couldn’t hold back any longer. You knew why he said those words, why he threw them out so casually. They weren’t rooted in love; they were a reflex, a way to keep you tethered to him. And you hated that you let them work.
He looked confused, his brows furrowing as he tried to process your accusation. “That’s not true,” he started, but his voice faltered, lacking conviction. You could see the cracks in his confidence, the way your words had shaken him. For once, he didn’t have a quick comeback, didn’t know how to charm his way out of the situation.
“That is true, Lando,” you said, your laugh tinged with sarcasm, the bitterness slipping through despite your best efforts to mask it. You wished—no, you longed—for his visits to be driven by love, by something deeper, something real. But you knew better. You knew why he was here, and it wasn’t for the reasons you wanted.
“You’re here only because you’re horny,” you sighed, the words heavy with resignation. You crossed your arms, trying to steady yourself, to stand your ground even as your heart wavered. The truth was out now, hanging in the air between you like a storm cloud. You watched his expression shift, the faint flicker of confusion crossing his face.
“And if you don’t remember,” you added, your voice firmer now, “we are broken up.” The words felt like a shield, a reminder to yourself as much as to him. You weren’t supposed to be doing this, letting him back into your life, into your bed, into your heart. But here you were, caught in the same cycle, trying desperately to break free.
Lando paused, his hand still resting on the edge of the counter. His brows furrowed slightly, as if he were trying to process what you had just said. “What are you talking about?” he asked, his tone defensive, almost incredulous. It was as though the idea of his intentions being questioned had never even crossed his mind.
You shook your head, a bitter smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Don’t act like you don’t know,” you said, your voice quieter now but no less resolute. “You come here, you say the things you think I want to hear, and then you leave. It’s always the same.”
For some reason, he was quiet now. Maybe because, for once, you were telling the truth he couldn’t deny. The silence stretched, thick and oppressive, and it only fueled your frustration. “Oh my god, Lando!” you shouted, your voice breaking the stillness as you threw your hands in the air. “Why don’t you even try to defend yourself a bit?” Your words came out sharp and raw, laced with the bitterness of all the times he had made you feel small, unseen.
He flinched at your outburst, his gaze dropping to the floor, but his lips remained sealed for a long moment. Then, finally, he spoke. “I love you, Y/n, but it’s just not that simple.” His voice was low, almost pleading, as though he expected those words to be enough to fix the shattered pieces between you.
But they weren’t. Not anymore. You were done being nice, done bending over backward in desperation to keep something alive that was slowly killing you inside. You were done clinging to empty words and hollow promises. “Can you stop lying, Lando?” you shot back, your tone venomous, toxic in its delivery. “Can you stop lying for at least a second in your damn life?”
His head snapped up, his expression shifting between confusion and hurt. “I’m not lying,” he said quietly, but you didn’t believe him. Not a single word. His declarations of love felt cheap, as fleeting as the visits where he left you feeling more broken than before.
You took a deep breath, steadying yourself for what you were about to say. The words came unfiltered, raw, and unrestrained. “I’m done,” you said, your voice firm and unwavering. “I’m done with this shit. I’m done with you.” The weight of your declaration hung heavy in the air, and for the first time, you felt a sense of clarity, as though the fog of confusion and heartbreak had finally lifted.
“What do you mean?” Lando asked, his expression shifting to one of disbelief. It was almost comical, the way he looked at you now, as if he didn’t understand English anymore. His confusion only fueled your anger, the fire burning hotter with every second he stood there, pretending not to know.
“Get off of my fucking eyes, that’s what I mean,” you snapped, your voice sharp and cutting. You wouldn’t beg again, wouldn’t plead for him to stay or try to fix what was already broken beyond repair. You were done being the one who cared more, who tried harder, who sacrificed everything for someone who gave so little in return. “You ruined everything,” you added, the words spilling out like a final blow.
“But I didn’t want to hurt you,” he said, his tone soft, almost pleading. No way. Was he joking now? The audacity of his words made your blood boil. How could he stand there, after everything he had done, and say something so utterly meaningless?
“You should have thought of that before you cheated, asshole,” you shot back, your voice dripping with venom. The truth was out now, and there was no taking it back. You weren’t holding anything in anymore, weren’t sugarcoating your pain to make him feel better. He deserved to hear it, every word, every ounce of anger and betrayal you had bottled up for far too long.
“Get out,” you said, your voice firm and steady as you pointed at the door. The finality in your tone echoed in the room, leaving no space for negotiation. Lando froze, his hand still resting by his side, as his eyes locked onto yours one last time. Those green eyes—piercing, unforgettable, the ones that had once undone you every time—met your gaze, pleading silently for a chance. But this time, you felt none of the pull that had always kept you tethered to him. This time, you resisted.
“No, just let me explain—” he began, his voice desperate, his words rushed as if he could fix everything if he only spoke fast enough. But you wouldn’t let him. You wouldn’t let him use his excuses or empty promises to worm his way back into your life.
“Get out before I call the police,” you interrupted, your voice cutting through his plea like a knife. Your words carried an unmistakable edge, final and unyielding, daring him to challenge you. You stood your ground, your hand still pointing toward the door, your expression resolute. You weren’t going to beg anymore, nor would you let yourself fall for his attempts to salvage what was already irreparably broken.
Lando hesitated, his expression shifting from desperation to something unreadable. For a moment, it seemed as though he might protest, try one more time to explain, to reason with you. But the weight of your command—the realization that you wouldn’t bend this time—settled over him, and he finally relented. Without another word, he turned away, his movements stiff and mechanical, like he was forcing himself to leave.
The sound of the door opening and closing echoed through the room, marking his departure with a harsh finality. You stood still for a moment, staring at the empty space where he had been, your chest tight with a mixture of relief and lingering pain. You had done it—made him leave, chosen yourself for once. But the victory felt bittersweet, as if closing this chapter had come at a cost you weren’t yet ready to fully comprehend.
The room was quiet now, but the silence felt different. It wasn’t suffocating, wasn’t filled with the tension of unspoken words. It was lighter, freer, and for the first time, you felt like you could breathe. You exhaled slowly, letting the weight of him, of everything he had put you through, begin to slip away.
You were alone now, but it didn’t feel like a loss. It felt like the start of something new—something that was yours, something that didn’t revolve around him anymore.
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no take backs
As the earth collapsed around you, your sworn enemy decides to confess his feelings for you with a kiss. So when the world doesn’t end, what happens next?



Jess Mariano x f!Reader
Warning: 18+ only MDNI, fluff, slight angst, unprotected sex, piv, v!fingering, reader has anxiety (only plays a small part in the story), earthquake (no injuries)
Author’s note: Based on this request then I expanded on the concept. This fic is set after he left Stars Hollow.
✿ Masterlist | ✿ Jess Mariano Masterlist | 2.4k words
“Just because I’m letting you drive me home, does not mean we’re friends,” you huffed as you climbed into the passenger seat of Jess Mariano’s beat up car. Vintage, he called it. You’d never admit it, but you found it cute how he was proud of it. To him, it was his key to freedom, going anywhere he wanted whenever he wanted. Except for when nature had other plans.
“Well, a coworker could take his other coworker home, okay?” He said, closing the car door as he slid his keys into the ignition and started up the car. You relent and gave him your address.
It was just your luck that the Earth’s tectonic plates decided to shift in ways that damaged your car, but not your mortal enemy’s. Perhaps it was karma and you were being encouraged to make amends with him in the name of world peace. Try as you might however, the word “peace” and Jess Mariano just did not fit.
It certainly did not feel peaceful being trapped in a car with him. Your cheeks blushed as you remembered how soft his lips felt against yours and the eager way they moved as if it was the final thing he would ever do in his life. And for a few moments back at the publishing house, tucked safely beneath a table while the world shook violently around you, you were both convinced it was your last moments.
It was confusing. The way your heart hammered and you didn’t know if it was from fear of dy*ng or the way his kiss invaded your entire being. From the moans it elicited from your throat, to the air it stole from your lungs, and the butterflies that rushed in your stomach. It was hard to tell if it really was just an earthquake or the mind-shattering truth that your enemy might not actually hate you at all.
Then it was over too soon. The air felt cold without him close to you and he was pulling you up from under the table.
“So we’re just not going to talk about it?” You asked, piercing the awkward silence.
Jess just shrugged and spoke casually, “talk about what?”
You narrowed your eyes at him, of course he wasn’t going to make this easy for you. But he had no right confusing you with a kiss after constantly making your life a waking nightmare.
“Jess, you kissed me,” you deadpan, addressing the elephant in the room. “Coworkers don’t kiss other coworkers.”
“A lapse of judgment in a life-threatening situation,” he dismissed, keeping his eyes straight on the road.
Your mouth curled, the sweet aftertaste of his kisses turning sour. You fumed in silence as you looked outside the window with unfocused eyes. You weren’t sure what you were more upset about: his denial or your disappointment - having to face the horrid fact that you also didn’t hate your enemy.
“Shit, the road’s blocked,” Jess drew you out from the thunder of your thoughts as you looked at the cars lined up ahead. It was like a scene from one of those post-apocalyptic films you’ve seen and dread sank in your chest. Perhaps you should stick to watching cheesy rom coms because this pessimism was not helpful at all.
“Can we go somewhere else?” You whispered softly, anxiety bearing down your chest.
Jess looked at you with concern. “Sure, let’s find somewhere we can park until things get better,” he replied with an equally soft tone and you hated it because he knew all about your anxiety and penchant for panic attacks. You didn’t like being weak around him, not if he could be sweet and caring only to take it all back when you’re fine.
He parked the car in between buildings, sheltered from the wails of emergency response vehicles and the rush of people trying to go home. You exhaled after going through rounds of breathing exercises to calm your anxiety.
“My my, a secluded alley. Jess Mariano, whatever do you plan to do with me?” You quipped, mildly accusing him or m*rder when the other meaning dawned on you, something that made you blush. Well, it was too late to back out now.
He smirked, “whose to say you’re not the one who wants to do things with me with that line of questioning, huh?”
“I wouldn’t do anything if I was the only one who liked it,” you hedged. Perhaps life was too short to keep denying your feelings. If there was ever a better time to learn that lesson, it was now. You just needed him to admit he felt it too.
“I don’t like the idea of being k*lled, thanks,” he scoffed as he plastered on a smug smile.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” you looked outside the window, an idea forming in your head.
“It sure is getting hot,” you comment innocently as you undid the top buttons of your blouse. Jess’ eyes followed your movement and you don’t miss the way his breath hitches.
“Better get comfortable, right?” You said, adjusting the car seat to lean back and you felt your blouse open slightly to reveal your cleavage. You were not going to make it easy for him to deny his feelings.
“Stop that,” Jess demanded while his eyes told a different tale of desire and longing.
“I don’t know what you mean,” you replied lazily. Two can play that game.
That’s right Jess, you thought, here’s a dose of your medicine. You continued, “this is much better.” You leaned your head back and stretched on the seat, aware of how your skirt inched up your legs.
You let out a satisfied moan, sighing in pleasure at thoughts of getting comfortable. If by comfort, you meant the satisfaction of derailing Jess’ denial and stubbornness. His eyes traced your legs then followed your chest when they rose and fell with your sigh.
Jess grunted and you bit back a smile. “Okay, fine. So I kissed you,” he admitted.
You shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “You said it meant nothing, so why would it matter?”
“I never said it meant nothing, I said it was a lapse of judgment.”
“There’s a difference?” You raised your eyebrow, challenging him to continue.
He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he steeled himself. To Jess Mariano, telling the truth meant peeling back the layers of his sarcasm, which was as painful as stripping off his skin.
“You know when they say the world is about to end, you’d think your life flashes before your eyes. But all I could see was you. And it wasn’t just because you were in front of me. God, I closed my eyes, and all I could see was still you. Laughing at your own jokes, greeting everyone with a smile, typing away on your computer. It would be such a shame if I didn’t get to kiss you if that was the last thing I’d ever do, damn it. But then the earthquake stopped and we were fine.”
Your eyebrows creased as you let his words sink in. “Is it really so bad that we survived?”
He narrowed his eyes at you, “I don’t think I could ever survive you. You frustrate me because you’re just so…you! You’re not someone I could just kiss once and get out of my system. I’d always want more and then I’d inevitably screw it up. It was better that you hated me from the start.”
His eyes burned with untold stories of heartbreak and self destruction. Despite all the ways he infuriated you, you wanted nothing more than to hold him. You had a feeling you were just seeing who he truly was beneath his smug smiles and his devil-may-care attitude.
“Jess, I don’t hate you,” you confess. “Don’t just make it one kiss,” you continue, allowing yourself to be just as honest as him. “Have another one, and another, and heck - have all of me!”
He looked at you in disbelief, as if he wished for the stars and he was told he could have the whole damn galaxy. A spark of joy and hope ignited something wild in him that he no longer let himself think of past regrets and mistakes.
He inched towards you, looking into your eyes for permission and you bridged the distance in response, kissing him. It was fiercer than when you both thought you were on the brink of de*th, because this time, it was a celebration of life and the possibilities that lay ahead.
You felt it when he sucked on your bottom lip and you moaned in pleasure, a small sound for all the words you couldn’t say. How all those time spent hating him was just a shield from your admiration of the man who took destiny in his own hands and never let the world define him.
The man who wrote stories and downplayed them through luck and how ink fumes must have altered his publisher’s minds to pick him. He never once acknowledged his talent, but secretly you did with the way you underlined your favorite sentences and re-read his book as if his words could wrap you in a sweet embrace.
He always kept you at an arm’s length and made your life hell, but it was heaven just being beside him. And you never dared to admit it. Until now, when he’s unbuttoning your blouse as he unravels your secrets. His mouth moves to your neck, setting your body on fire.
“Wait, what if someone sees us?” You ask, a wave of sobriety washing over you.
Jess just smirked, his lips pink and swollen, hungry for more of your kisses. “That’s half the fun.”
You rolled your eyes but god - you needed him. “And the other half?” You asked, mirroring his smirk.
“This,” he just says as he resumes your kiss.
It’s agony when you pull away again just to alleviate your anxiety, “can we at least go to the back?” It’s not much, but it’s better than being right by the windshield.
“Spacious,” he nods, moving away so you could climb over to the backseat. You felt the heat of his stare behind you as you settled in.
He promptly followed suit until your bodies are tangled again with him laying you down the seat, careful so you don’t hit your head. You bring your hand to his stupid hair and run your fingers through it. His hands return to your blouse and your back arches on instinct when he unclasps your bra and he takes a moment to look at you. “God, you’re so beautiful,” he breathes as he squeezes your breast while he licks the other, planting soft tender kisses.
In his car, the sirens and chaos faded. You were consumed by Jess’ touch, both curious and possessive at the same time. His free hand traveling down your leg as he caressed it, slowly making his way to your inner thigh. You can’t help the way you squirmed beneath him as you held your breath in anticipation. In response, you palm his erection beneath his uncomfortably tight jeans and you’re rewarded with a grunt.
He teased you through your panties and you open your legs for him as he moves the thin fabric aside to feel your soft folds. You bite your lip and try to stifle your moan, but Jess brings his mouth to your ear, “I need to hear you, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.” You cursed in response, your mind swimming in a haze of euphoria.
His fingers send shockwaves of pleasure as he spreads your liquid heat, exploring your folds and paying attention to which sensations left you whimpering. He exploited them skillfully, rubbing and teasing, eager to make you a moaning mess for him. You gasped when he plunged his fingers inside you and you arched your back, needing him deeper.
“Fuck, you’re so wet for me,” he admires as he pumped his fingers in and out. You moved your hips against his hand, needing more of him. He was finally here, doing things you used to just dream about, secrets stashed beneath soft covers in your moonlit bedroom.
“Jess, please. I need to feel all of you,” you begged and his eyes darkened.
“I’m all yours,” he replied as he removed his fingers and cleaned them off with his tongue. “Fuck you taste so good.”
You helped him free his hard length and you don’t stifle the needy moan that escapes you this time when he fills you up. He takes a few slow movements before building up to a steady pace, the delicious friction making your toes curl. “You feel amazing, Jess,” you tell him.
He kissed you as he rocked his hips into you, a clash of teeth and tongue. There was nothing gentle in the way you moved against each other, it was pure want and longing crashing into each other. It was months of fantasies finally coming true and desires unleashed building in your core.
The car moved along with you, giving you extra leverage to find your rhythm. The irony was not lost on you that as the world shook around you once again, things were falling into place this time.
Filthy, desperate whimpers escaped his lips and you spread your legs wider, needing him deeper inside you. He squeezed your breast in response and teased your taut nipples, eager to worship all of you. You closed your eyes when you felt yourself teetering on the edge.
“Look at me,” Jess tells you instead and so you do. You see the lust and passion in his eyes and it’s enough to unravel you. Little earthquakes of ecstasy erupt through you as you shuddered against him. He increases his pace, eager to coax every last aftershock of your orgasm. It doesn’t take long before you feel his release warming your insides. He rests his head in the crook of your neck as he recovers his breath.
When he pulls out, you swipe his spilled seed from your leg and bring it in your mouth, enjoying the salty taste. “Fuck you’re so hot,” Jess breathes out.
You grin. “So this happened. You gonna deny it?” You challenged him as he held you.
“Nope,” he said with a grin. “This happened. You’re mine and I’m yours. No take backs.”
“No take backs,” you echoed as you leaned in for another kiss.
It was perfect. The world could end at that moment and you would not mind at all.
Still you were glad to stay alive. Because then, you could always go another round, and another. So it goes.
✿ Masterlist | ✿ Jess Mariano Masterlist
#jess mariano smut#jess mariano x you#jess mariano x reader#jess mariano fluff#jess mariano imagine#jess mariano#gilmore girls#amongemeraldcloudswrites
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