#I just had a lot of feelings

[chronicowboy]

eddie saying buck's name but it gets progressively worse and worse

[faithandfairies]

Interview with the Vampire Season 2 Rant

It's so interesting how season 2 is like watching a train wreck happening in slow motion.

Let me start by saying that Claudia tells Louis that he's once again choosing another vampire over her. But I feel like Louis is trying to do the opposite of that. Or at least he really doesn't start out trying to choose Armand.

The entirety of season 2 involves Louis trying to help Claudia make her dreams come true by following her lead, doing what she wants to do. For once he's choosing her.

None of what they end up doing is anything he cares about. He's a homebody who likes to read a good book by the fire while knowing his loved ones are safe and near. I mean, he asks Claudia early on whether they can go home now, when they don't find what they were looking for after 5 years of searching, right before Paris.

He doesn't know what home will entail, whether it will just be going home to New Orleans with Lestat dead or if Lestat will be there waiting for him, murderous or loving, but he doesn't care. Both options will do.

Him seeing Lestat is him trying to desperately reconnect with something he cares about, even if it is within his own memories, especially when his attempts at connecting with Claudia fall flat.

Claudia initially wants to leave Paris when they first arrive there but Paris is the first time Louis feels at home because Paris is the closest he's been to Lestat in years. So Louis wants to give it a chance.

I think on some level Louis expected Lestat to follow them, to come looking for them, so Louis could say he tried to pick Claudia over Lestat and Lestat wouldn't let him. The way he tends to place blame anywhere else than with himself. Even him going to Roger and Albert is about inquiring whether Lestat is truly dead, sure, but is also a siren song meant for Lestat in case he's alive I think. That if Lestat is alive he will hear from Roger that Louis is in Paris and show up. But then none of that happens.

Season 2 also involves a lot of everyone lying to themselves. Even Louis' relationship with Armand is him trying and failing to fix the mistakes he made in his relationship with Lestat with Armand as a stand-in for Lestat.

Armand is very obviously dangerous from the start. Even while he's crushing a bit on Louis he does not make it a secret that he wants Louis and Claudia dead.

Initially Louis makes the right call, he wants to leave Paris the moment he realizes Armand is a danger to them. But it would mean uprooting Claudia, forcing her to start over from a point of misery again. So then he approaches Armand the way he did Lestat.

He tries to solve the problem of Armand being a danger to them by trying to love him, love him into safety. He tries to go one step further than he ever did with Lestat, he tries to say it, say "I love you" but it doesn't ring true even to his own ears.

He forgets that loving Lestat was always his truth, incapable of being a manipulation, impossible to replicate as a lie.

Even Armand tries to love Louis, because the only thing better than killing Louis would be for Louis to fall in love with him more than he ever was with Lestat. To the point that if given the choice Louis would choose Armand because he loves him more than he ever did Lestat.

But Armand is not Lestat. Which means a lot of things. It means Louis and Claudia will never truly be safe with Armand simply because Louis and Claudia are not his. Lestat considered Louis and Claudia his, his family, his to take care of, his to protect. Armand does not feel the same way. But Armand not being Lestat also means Louis will never love Armand. Which only underlines that they will never be safe with Armand. Because aside from running or killing the coven, actually loving Armand more than Lestat was the one way Louis might have gotten Armand to not kill them.

And Louis can't do that. He shows Armand this too when he can't commit to Armand in the one essential way he did do to Lestat. He can't accept Armand as his companion. Because in his mind Lestat never stopped being his companion and to accept Armand as such would mean to give the role Lestat filled to Armand. At this point Armand is an affair. He cannot be Louis' companion because even considered dead, in Louis' heart of hearts, that position belongs to Lestat.

And yet when it turns out he and Claudia are still in danger from Armand and the coven Louis tries to do that anyway. He tries to banish Lestat's memory. He tries to force companionship with Armand even though he doesn't feel it. And that scene is so interesting because it's Louis lying to himself in its entirety. It seeming to be initially about him breaking up with Armand but instead it's him trying to let go of the memory of Lestat.

But what it's really about is him trying to let go of his humanity and once again becoming the cold and calculated pimp he used to be before he met Lestat, that needed to do what he needed to do to protect his family. It's funny to realize that by loving him Lestat unknowingly unearthed some of Louis' humanity that had previously been hidden away. Because in choosing to love Lestat Louis became more human. Lestat chose Louis in part because of the hardened pimp façade he threw up in order to cope with the work he had to do to take care of his family. But in loving Louis Lestat laid bare all of who Louis really was and while he thought he knew what he was doing I don't think he truly knew until after he had turned Louis and saw the true effects of him taking a wrecking ball to all of Louis' walls at the same time.

When Louis realizes that once again his family is in danger he does what he did all those years ago. He dusts off the pimp persona. He's about to give the performance of his life trying to make Armand believe he's in love with him so Armand doesn't kill them, all while locking his heart away with the memory of Lestat for safekeeping so that he can actually give a convincing performance.

But here's the thing, Lestat was the actor. Louis was never good at lying about how he really felt. It's also why distracting Lestat before he killed him was so effective. It was as easy as breathing because Louis didn't have to act. The love he felt for Lestat was the absolute truth and anything less than that would have been a lie Lestat would have seen straight through. Lestat may not have realized Louis loved him but unbeknownst to him he did know how it felt to be loved by Louis.

Louis can't deceive Armand the same way precisely because he doesn't have those particular feelings for Armand and up to then he was trying to use Armand as a Lestat stand-in, a do-over in which he tells Armand what Lestat needed to hear, in the hopes this time the outcome will be different. Which almost worked because he had Dreamstat to bring those real feelings to the surface. But then Louis locks Dreamstat away thinking that's the answer and no longer even has a whisper of the feeling he previously had to back up his words and actions. And by then it's already too late anyway.

[doctorwyvern]

a young boy lays

with his head gently

in his mothers lap

she strokes his hair

and hums a song

and tomorrow,

there will be fire

and tomorrow

their front yard

will become a

battlefield

and tomorrow

blood will spill

and stain the

ground below

they will see war

like they have

never seen before

but tonight they

sit by the roaring

fire and lay

watching

the flames dance

peacefully contained

embers in the

hearth of the soul.

[oceaneyesinla]

That fic I wrote the other day about papa Giyu has infected my brain and now I can't think about anything but papa Giyu

He would be such a good dad, I'm sure of it. We don't know much about his childhood, but we do know he loved his sister, and we know he is quietly very sentimental. Just look at his haori.

He's also got a soft side, though he hides it well. He went against every tenet of the Demon Slayer Corps to let Tanjiro and Nezuko live, and he sent them to Urokodaki, trusting that the man would not only look after them but also not turn him in for breaking the rules.

All of this makes me 100% sure that he would be a great dad. As soon as he could after the birth, he would cradle his little one close, making a silent promise to keep them safe. He would watch them sleep, relishing in the little bubble of peace he'd built.

As they got older, he would keep a watchful eye, making sure they never got themselves into trouble he couldn't get them out of. As they toddled around their home, he would never be far behind, soft smile on his face as they explored the world. He knows the world can be unkind, dangerous, painful, but if he can spare his little one from that, he will.

In a post-demon world, he would definitely maintain his fitness, not so he could fight, or to impress others, but so that he could carry his children close for as long as possible. The weight of them in his arm, little hands clutching the fabric of his clothes is something he would give anything to remember forever.

Having a child would give him back little pieces of himself too. Maybe he would see his sister in the way his daughter smiled, or maybe he would see himself in the big blue eyes looking up at him. Whatever the case, smiles would come a little easier and be a little bigger. He never wants his children to doubt they're loved.

Just Papa Giyu, being happy and having the life he deserves

[shrubsparrow]

It's in the eye of the beholder

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael and Vanny had wild teen years in FNAF

[paintedcrows]

Holiday Classics

Been thinking about Ford watching the 70s Animated Lord of the Rings Movies... (companion comic to this post!)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy one year anniversary to In Stars and Time!

[anbaisai]

The girlies are fighting… (featuring mentions of a friend’s OC)

Textless version can be interpreted as POV you're being bullied by mean girls or something

Hypothetical exchange based on Leona giving Jamil this ⬇️ piece of advice during Book 6

If this statement doesn’t literally also apply to Jamiyuu ships if Leona knew about things in universe… he’s a Jamiyuu shipper and he’s getting impatient (/j).

And instead of defending himself, I believe Jamil’d just pick something to fire back about because he’s like that. Men who can’t be direct or honest for their lives, sigh.

[forgettable-au]

CHAPTER TWO | The Scientific Method

FORGETTABLE-AU (page 73-77)

* His brother is annoying.

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[butchlifeguard]

we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

[laikabu]

transhet t4t AU sorry im just playing w my touys in my dollhouse pls don’t get mad at me look away if you dont like

[technically-human]

Edwin after the confession is a menace

Bonus Charles being normal about it:

[teaboot]

I feel like if you're using a lot of disposable plastic bags in your day to day life, you've gotta do something sustainable to make up for it. Like using bamboo toilet paper or eco friendly cat litter or something, yknow

Honestly I exaggerate for comedic effect, while I DO routinely use ziplock bags to hold spaghetti I cook maybe once a month and the bag itself is usually for freezer storage. I actually throw out maybe one bag a week? I DO hate washing plates and tupperware and junk but that usually just means I eat sandwiches without a plate.

I agree though that needless waste should be avoided, and I do avoid it- biodegradable bags and recyclables, empty butter tubs used to store leftovers, etc.

This said, though, not applicable necessarily for myself but for a lot of others- I feel that it's importat to remember that there are many people who legitimately NEED things like plastic straws, or catheters, or pre-packaged foods

And the idea that that's a moral failing that individuals need to personally make up for when a single billionaire blows out more CO2 in a long weekend than I will in my whole life on a superjet meet-cute in the Bolivian rainforest between humvee drag races funded by the river-polluting textiles plants they planted in a third world country to avoid EPA laws and give an entire village stillbirths and stomach cancer is an idea that those very same bigwigs have spent a LOT of time and money investing in planting in the public psyche.

Like- Glass bottles are infinitely recyclable, so why are so many drinks in plastic now? Loads of drinks manufacturers used to buy them back and clean them for re-use, so why did they stop? If they chose to make something out of a limited and environmentally irresponsible material, why is it my failing to track down a correct process of disposal for them? What if there are none in my area? Do I lobby for more recycling plants in my area? Do I set aside some of my limited time outside the pain factory of my job- which I have more than one of, thanks to rising costs of things just like that drink I just emptied- to properly dispose of this company's waste FOR them?

Say coca-cola just rolled up to your town and started dumping millions of empty plastic bottles in the street, going, "wow, you should really think about building and staffing a recycling depot, it would be really shameful of you to just put these in the trash." When companies purposefully use materials with limited lifespans- because yes, even plastic can only be reused so many times- and tell you it's your own fault if it harms the environment- that's essentially what they're doing, just with more steps.

Yes, its important to be as environmentally concious as we can in our day to day life, but responsible sustainability is not catholicism. We don't get good boy points from our lord and savior Captain Planet every time the average low-income household gathers together to hold hands and repent for a single-use plastic that allows them to access something they need.

Entire families could eat trees and shit dead lithium batteries for years and still not do as much damage to the planet as an average dye plant or braindead celebrity does in a week just for fun, and I'm mad about it

...this went on longer than intended.

TL/DR: DO recycle and minimize waste, but don't beat yourself up over the little waste you can't avoid, and follow the money.

EDIT: Part 2

[die-mitri]

Every time I see a take on this panel, I get dealt -5 psychic damage.

I really really really don't think Kabru is being a "manipulative psycho girlfriend" here. He's just like... A nice guy.

For context: in the panel, Laios finds a magic mirror and asks it what would happen if various party members were a different gender. Long story short, all of his party members leave him and he's distraught.

Here Kabru is just comforting him??? It's not like she plotted for all of them to leave so she could have him to herself. The characters as their swapped genders just had different priorities that ended up separating them.

It's not like it's out of character for Kabru to be kind and comforting. In fact, here's proof

Say what you want about him, but at the end of the day the reason he's so meticulous and careful about his words/choices is because he cares.

He cares so deeply about humanity. He wants to avoid tragedy. He hates people who prey on others for personal gain. He's not some evil, manipulative, freak who wants to rule the dungeon for power. He wants what's best for everyone (even if he's a little misguided).

He's genuinely a kind and thoughtful person and I'm sick of hearing ppl say he isn't. Get with it nerds.