#I just finished the game and am too full of feels rn

[timethehobo]

A missed apology.

[abombihoney]

my thoughts as I read the new (6 months old) chapter of ethnoentomology bc i said would live blog it and this is least annoying way i can do so.

Hornet really just fucking pulled a gun out im like 1 minute fucking in jesus girl.

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ooooooooh my fucking god he's literally a sopping wet little meow meow. i WILL be coming back 2 this.

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what this fucking pronoun fuckery i need to reread this shit im onto something. i need to add all my annotations together. i need a conspiracy board. i need to make a chart with color coded lines

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I wish Hallownest’s official language was anything other than “cryptic riddles.”

me too dude the fuck.

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CHANCE BEING EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT???? telling lurien he isn't at fault for the radiance's actions

however... how could he think anything else really. he is all for blaming the radiance for everything.

i'm feeling a delicious mix of "can i even trust my own thoughts" mixed with Chance trying to separate what was him versus what was other.

What happens when (if) he manages to separate what actions were wholly him with no outside influence? What will he regret? What will he desperately try to justify?

How would he even determine what is him and what is the influence of the radiance? He has no memory of past actions to compare against. He can't necessarily even trust the memories he does have, they're full of hallucinations, gaps in memory where he doesn't know what he did. If it was "him" that did it. AAAAAAAAAAAUGH

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is chance checking out of reality a lot rn or am i looking too deep. there seems to be a lot of "jump cuts"

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back 2 valleri. info dump for me lurien i only read a handful of chapters of midnight rider.

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 "I couldn’t tell you how many times she would’ve been jailed or worse"

wait wasnt she jailed tho. didnt she like. immediately punch pk in the face or am i misremembering. does lurien not know this. i feel like he should be told this information somehow bc like. i feel like it would give him a heart attack.

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VALLERI LEFT SOMETHING FOR CHANCE???? THE PLOT THICKENS HELLO???

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why is chance so gay he is SO focused on lurien all the time jesus christ man. i feel like i keep getting trapped in one of them slow burn fics where they keep almost kissing.

FUCKIGN 2 SECONDS LATER:

Having grabbed something from a small drawer in the table behind Chance, Lurien settled back, (disappointingly) further away from him.

chance ur down bad. this is going to blow up in his face spectacularly somehow. good 2 know i wasnt imagining the horny descriptions of lurien from last chapt.

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new theory: valleri is a time-traveling post-transition chance. source: my other theory that valleri and chance are closely related. similar temperament and appearance. both from california or w/e.

wait i think i remember valleri have future seeing powers. i refuse to finish reading midnight rider until ethno is done tho so i'm keeping my theory

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Chance reflexively rejected this information before he could begin processing its implications.

side effects of having magic powered by belief: may decide to just ignore things bc if u believe it you make it true. denial is a powerful drug

wait. hmmmmm.

did the radiance take chance's memories? or did chance want to forget? like could also totes be the cool magical barrier that wipes ur memories to prevent the radiance from escaping the corpse of hallownest. but now i am thinking of all the fucked up implications of something so horrible (by a teenagers standards) that chance wanted to forget everything.

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TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSK MY BABY TUSK POV TUSK POV TUSK POV

oh no the baby is injured.

They needed to find Chance. He would heal them, like always—

ur honor they love each so much!!!!!!!!! might be becoming a lil codependent but ITS FINE

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checks out that hornet was a vicious little child lmao

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“For Hallownest, there is no cost too great. That is what I told Him.”

OH SHIT

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oh fuck yeah i fucking love use of game mechanics in stories for problem solving. go little guy go!

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HEY WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

Like life’s just a script and she’s waiting for her cue.

OH? paralleling what lurien said about PK. INTRIGUING.

(fucked up evil theory: The parallels between PK and Valleri that are being drawn here... from what I understand Valleri became INCREDIBLY close and attached to hallownest. What if Chance is Valleri's hollow knight?)

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The White Palace was destroyed. But so was the Watcher’s Spire, and Chance could put that back.

my sweet child, you are going to fucking kill chance

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Too cowardly to confront her own cowardice.

ruh roh raggy. hornet's going to have to contend with the fact that she has killed her own siblings in cold blood eventually. possibly soon

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fuck yeah i love worldbuilding. tell me more about how the fictional bug city built in a wet cave functioned and how the class divide determined transportation methods.

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*slaps chance* this baby can fit so much PTSD in it

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this is spelling euphoria isn't it.

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hey wait doesn't chance have boat trauma??? didn't he see a corpse under a boat in the last chapter of act 1???

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something bad is going to happen. we're building so much suspense.

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"Chance"

??????? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON NOW???????

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 draped half overboard like a dirty wet rag

chance's natural state really.

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something in their Void was churning

This happens directly after Chance has his little episode with the boat. Are Chance and Tusk connected by the void? Didn't something similar happen in the last chapter??

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Hornet i love u. She's so spiderman coded.

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—Tusk whacked the switch to the elevator and went up and away. “Wh—Vessel! Hold on!”

see u idiot

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Ah Lemm, the confidence of a man who is very very wrong. he'd shit his pants if he saw all the human shit in the junkyard lmao.

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Several photos were attached to the line and dangled from ceiling to floor. Dozens of lines around the room like party streamers, a hundred little memories swaying gently in the dust.

megamind ass organization system

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burned painting frame.... coating the room in ash.. im sure this holds no significance whatsoever and won't come up again.

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Tusk has so much youngest sibling energy lmao

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uh oh hornet. ur getting attached.

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this is to hornet also, isnt it?

WAHT THE FUCK

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oh okay they are connected. poor tusk and chance. they r gonna become a feedback loop up fucked up huh

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wait does chance not know shes the princess. lmao

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aww hug fest JEREMY REAL??? or is hornet infected too hello????

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IM GOING FERAL VALLERIS SEEING SO MANY THINGS AT ONCE AND REACTING TO ALL OF THEM HELLO?????

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oh my god i feel like ive been punched seventeen times in a row. i have so much hype i need to run a marathon. im fucking spinning in circles im filled with unrestrained summer fun oh my god im supposed to sleep soon i dont know if i can manage stop thinking long enough to do that holy shit

[chernabogs]

Lil post abt a rundown of how I write fics / what I'll write bc I had a friend go 'Ames what exactly do you allow' 😭 real...

No NSFW writings from me (I only write that in my game for my main; I don't like writing NSFW in general, and twst is just not an area I'll personally touch)

That being said, I will touch on darker content. I post warnings at the top of every fic I write, so please read them and decide if it's something you're in the headspace to read.

My x Reader are always x Gen/Neutral unless specifically asked, and even then I'm a lil flexible. I like to keep the genders vague so any reader can feel like they can insert themselves in the fic (the interactive fiction curse fr)

I usually do subtle romance if romance is to be involved (the exception being the Monody series and a few others). I like to keep that vague too bc ik some people love a good platonic fic (real 🤌). If asked outright, I can be flexible on this part.

I don't write ships between canon characters in any romantic sense unless the game itself implies they're together (like Meleanor and Raverne, for example). If I'm writing char in a fic, they're usually just guys interacting LMAO

I'll put my own lore in fics at times, simply because twst only gives us so much to work with. Nothing I write is gospel (tho in my brain it is)

I loveeee love char expos. Love digging into chars brains. Love headcanon reqs, love all of that. I will write you like 4k of a character just thinking while drinking coffee, and this is a threat 😭

If you ever see me rb a prompt list, don't be shy to send in someone you don't see works for on my masterlist (altho it's 99% Dia rn fjdjcj)! I love writing other char, love stretching my brain. It keeps me young(ish).

As a warning, I write a lot when I write (averaging over 2k per req). If longer things aren't your cup of tea, that's ok! There are a ton of amazing fic writers in this fandom, so no one has a shortage of what their vibe matches!

The usual: I reserve a right to delete asks I disagree with. Not here for terfs, racists, homophobes, etc. I block people who post things I disagree with (incest, rape/SA, etc) and will not negotiate the matter. If I don't like what I get, I'll usually delete it without addressing at all. Running my main taught me over many years to just... not bother LMAO.

I'll add along rules as situations come up, but these tend to be the general!

For basic info about me:

I go by Ames (She/Her) and I'm 25

I write a game called Attollo which takes up most of my time, so twst serves as my little outlet for stress! (If you're interested in Attollo, note the 17+ age restriction and the warnings at the start of the game)

I'm in a masters degree in statistics and finishing that up soon. I work full time meanwhile, so things are hectic!

I have 2 cats (ask me about them, affectionately dubbed 'Smelly' and 'Charlie') who inspire me when I write Grim

I adore the Dia Quartet, the Staff, all our single parents in the game (Maleficia I see you 💕), and any lore they give us. I play JP and EN so spoilers are in fics and on this blog!

[silviakundera]

The Spirealm episode 7 reaction

fair warning: in these episode reactions I'm not gonna pretend I haven't read the novel. in fact, I purposely finished the novel before viewing, to get The Full Experience. thus novel spoilers, including twist end, included.

-

I feel like the drama has made LQ much more empathetic and also a bit more clever & assertive (vs reactive) than in the novel.

I think there are 2 reasons for this:

One has to do with theories on the ultimate narrative thread, so I won't dive into this yet, other than to note that repeatedly we see LQ connecting to the emotions of NPCs and inspiring the group to solving situations by treating NPCs as people.

The other is that in a live drama you miss the humor and subversion of expectations in the protagonist's inner thoughts. The cold distance and lack of curiosity (and how that all perversely ends up making him better at the game) is very difficult to effectively portray in a drama without a frequent VO (voice over). So they decided to go a different way, while still trying to stay true to the heart of the character.

Anyway, we get our proof that LQ never believed RN's excuses in the last episode that he didn't show up to this door just for LQ. When there are minutes left and he thinks they might be done for, LQ's move is to turn to the man who wants to be his partner and simply says, "I'm sorry."

"Why?"

"This is my door. It has nothing to do with you. You came because of me."

RN's silent pause speaks for itself, though he offers comfort with, "...Not entirely because of you."

"What a pity I haven't joined Obsidian yet" is like code for SO MUCH" (too bad we didn't get more time to know each other)(i regret not getting a chance to truly start a friendship)(unexplored gay longing)

lol while they're having A Moment, miss Best Actress leverages her single status to rise above the moment and actually throw out a solution!

(this whole bit reminded me of how in the novel, other characters would often be like wtf we're all gonna die, I'm in hell, so why am I having to eat all this dog food asdfghjk just disgusted at all these touching couple-ish moments RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR SALAD during mortal peril)

Ruan Nanzhu stepping up to get dangerous 🔥

More pathos, as the drama lays the groundwork of seeing the NPCs as deserving of compassion and having feelings 🤔

The necklace again, this time without protest.

"It looks good on you."

"See you at Obsidian."

(we get a scene after they leave that is VERY INTERESTING to me, in context of the novel's ending - in the climax, LQ is presented with a version of reality where everyone he'd seen suffer in the doors is there and all of the dead resurrected... and here is a vision where the tragedy has been wiped clean) (just makes me think again of the ultimate question, is this is indeed a virtual existence of personified data, true AI, or the supernatural 12th Door)

Another quick glimpse into the door exploring competitor X. Blah blah we think we are very important.

LMAO RN still tempts him into moving in with Chestnut's affections 😂😭

To be fair, that is an incredibly fluffy and cute cat. I too WANT TO PET.

Ok so now they establish that the doors can be months and years apart. I liked this bit in the novel, as the doors allow you to cheat or at least delay death. So as you pass them, the more difficulty the bigger the reward - reward being TIME. (the most precious item of all)

"My cat is quite close to you."

"What's yours is mine. What's mine.... is still mine." 😏

Can we stop the tyranny of iqiyi subs not displaying "Ge", especially when it literally is a discussion point?! He's saying don't call me Ruan-Ge, not don't call me Ruan!!!! 😤

Then the first moment of Lin Quishi seeing that RN is Can Be Hurt and being confronted with the difficulty level of the 6+ doors. RN declined LQ's offer to accompany him and now his door companion is dead.

Ah, competitors X are at it again. The drama really feels like audience needs an external antagonist. Not sure I agree but whatever.

Now LQ, like in the novel, is feeling protective and doesn't want a recovering RN coming with him to the next door.

lmao they've become Those People who gravitate to each other. Whole house of people and LQ is the one hanging out at his bedside and helping him down the stairs.

Cheng Yixie to Cheng Qianli: "If I cared about other people's lives, yours would already be over." (This hits different for novel readers.)

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

Do you read milex fanfics? If so what's your favorite ones?

DO I (yes, i do)

there are SO many incredible ones out there, most of which i've probably not even read yet because my to-read list is so long rn! here are a few of my all-time favourites though (plus a handful at the end of current wips i am loving too!)

LONGER FICS

Joie de Vivre by @gasdancer

summary: "Two young men decamp to rural France to make an album together. It ~is like love."

tags: angst, fluff, smut, bed-sharing, first time, friends to lovers

notes: THIS FUCKING FIC OH LORD. i just finished reading it recently and i had to sit down and reevaluate my whole existence for like a day afterwards. it PERFECTLY captures the dynamic of taotu milex - the playfulness, the intensity, the heart-wrenching love they have for each other that underlines everything. it's beautifully written with some *very* hot smut scenes and honestly it's amazing and if you haven't read it already then what are you waiting for?? (there are also two sequels, the first of which i am currently halfway through and it is just as incredible oh my god)

Been Away Too Long To Be Afraid by @stereobone

summary: Miles goes to visit Alex in Los Angeles to get his mind off his recent breakup. It works far better than expected.

tags: friends to lovers, miscommunication, pining, first time

notes: THIS FIC oh my goodness. it is in no small way responsible for how deep into this fandom i have sunk, as it was one of the first milex fics i ever remember reading and it's just so stupidly good. their characterisation is ON POINT and it's just the perfect balance of yearning/miscommunication/slow build. oh, any absolutely beautiful writing style too. my only complaint is that it went by WAY too fast when i was reading it lol.

Shy Of A Spark by @elorianna

summary: The Arctic Monkeys are about to play Glastonbury, their biggest gig yet, and Alex is struggling with stage fright. Fortunately for him, he has Miles to help him feel braver, and with his best friend by his side, surely nothing can go wrong.

Except that now it's the day of the show, Miles is acting strange, and the gig is no longer the only thing giving Alex stage fright. With the hours racing past, will he get his head in the game in time for their headline performance? And will he find a way to be brave, in more ways than one?

tags: friends to lovers, pining, first time, bed sharing

notes: this fic has such a special place in my heart, and i've lost count of how many times i've re-read it. it totally captures the fear of falling for someone who already means so much to you, and is just BEAUTIFULLY written with gorgeous characterisation and layers of theme and subtext on bravery and performance throughout. i literally cannot recommend it enough!! i am such a massive fan of all of elorianna's works, but i'm limiting myself to reccing one long and one short one here so this list doesn't become endless lol.

Terra Incognita by @yellowloid

summary: His fear of thunderstorms is something Alex has managed to keep a secret for most of his life. Nobody knows except his parents, and he’s determined to keep it that way. Except now he’s stuck in his apartment with Miles, the world outside is being shaken by a raging downpour, and maybe his fear isn’t the only thing that’s becoming difficult to hide. Or: they comfort each other in unconventional ways.

tags: hurt/comfort, pining, handjobs, friends to lovers

notes: i love the whole theme of unexplored lands that runs through this fic, it's gorgeously written and it feels like it touches on something so fitting for miles and alex's dynamic (also alex's thoughts about words in it feel SO in character). also i am such a sucker for a good hurt/comfort, and this ABSOLUTELY delivers the goods. god, the build up? the smut? the everything??? it's amazing, and full of so many stunning little details and nuances.

The Galaxy's Edge by @richiebrook

summary: Alex hasn’t been feeling like himself. He's used to it – tour life usually makes him feel a bit out of it, as if he were drifting in space - but it does put a strain on his relationship with the rest of the band and his girlfriend Taylor. Miles, his best friend turned lover, calls him up twice a week to make sure he doesn't drift too far. Their biweekly ritual helps Alex. The same can't be said for Taylor, who is perfectly aware of what Miles really is to her boyfriend. And so the Monkeys tour continues, Alex drifts and Miles anchors. But is it really drifting if you know exactly where you need to be?

tags: angst, long distance relationship, cheating, hurt/comfort

notes: okay, so there are a whole bunch of tags for this fic that would usually make it not my thing, BUT the writing is just so incredibly skilled and the characterisation of alex is so multi-layered and interesting that it i found myself getting completely sucked in. i have to say, it definitely is quite angst heavy so it's not a fic for if you're in a mood for some feelgood fluff - but it's beautifully written and a super thought-provoking and nuanced character study.

SHORTER FICS

On the Cusp by @elorianna

summary: On a hot summer day during their EYCTE Puppets tour, Miles and Alex find themselves stuck on a tour bus without any air conditioning. As they try to find ways to distract themselves from the heat, the boys end up struggling to maintain their cool in more ways than one…

tags: friends to lovers, first time

notes: i mean... this fic is just... *fans self* so hot. the way elorianna writes the build up of sexual tension is MASTERFUL.

Christmas Eve Will Find Me Where The Love Light Gleams by literevie

summary: Alex caught covid just before he was about to head home for Christmas. Now he's stuck alone in London, pretending to be brave about it all. But Miles finds out and decides to visit him to drop by some of his mums' famous christmas cooking to help him feel less lonely. Plot twists occur of course.

tags: friends to lovers, pining, sickfic, slow burn, first kiss

notes: this is such a special fic... i've rarely read one that feels like it has such a profound understanding of the dynamic between miles and alex, and it deals with the joy and the complexity of all that entails with just so much skill and poignancy. it's in the shorter fics category, but the PACE of this whole fic is just perfect and unrushed. it also features one of the best ever love confession scenes i've read. honestly it's just magic. the whole fic is.

The 36 Questions that Lead to Love by @fiireside

summary: To fall in love with anyone, answer these questions.

tags: fluff, pining

notes: THIS FIC IS SO ADORABLE omg. if you're ever having a bad day or feeling disillusioned with the world, just read this and i swear it will restore you.

Amsterdam by @richiebrook

summary: This one is set during the first night of Miles’ European tour, after Miles overhears a group of people in the audience singing “Where the fuck is Alex Turner?” as soon as he leaves the stage. Needless to say, it’s not the big opening night Miles had hoped for. Feeling like he's lost control of his own tour, he calls Alex up, fully intending to blame him for everything. Luckily, Alex knows just how to prove to him that he's still very much in control after all.

tags: angst, phone sex

notes: god, this is so beautifully written. the characterisation and the dynamic between them is just MASTERFUL. it honestly took my breath away the first time i read it for how real the way they interact feels. so many layers to this despite it being such a short fic (and the smut is really hot too).

Magic From Your Fingers Tingles Down My Spine by @alexturne

summary: "Wanna make out?" Alex coughed out a cloud of thick smoke. He blinked and looked at Miles next to him. Miles was making quite the sight, sprawled out across Alex's sheets with a dirty smirk plastered on his face. He looked nice, spread out like that. All relaxed and comfortable, as if he'd always been destined to end up right there in Alex's bed.Or: Whilst writing their first album together, Alex and Miles get high, and Miles has a great idea about how they could be spending their time.

tags: fluff and smut, friends to lovers

notes: this was one of the first milex fics i ever read and ahhhhhh. i still reread it often bc i just adore it! the tension and the tenderness in it is just 10/10 and i love how much they were both totally, helplessly into each other throughout it. wonderful writing.

the italian job by @stereobone

summary: Miles buys a house in Italy. Alex moves in.

tags: developing relationship, fluff, smut, feelgood

notes: this fic is just ART. god. the writing is absolutely stunning and it's full of beautiful subtext and metaphor but is also just so grounded in their relationship. i actually had to close my laptop for a few moments after finishing it because it just filled my heart up so much i didn't even know what to do with myself. the conversation between alex and miles in it is so insanely in character and ugh i just love everything about it okay??

WIPS/FICS I'M READING

Inhaler by @perfectly-clear-from-here

summary: A fast forming friendship between Alex and Miles takes a turn after a range of sleepless nights, shared cigarettes, loud music and a bar fight.

tags: friends to lovers, pre-taotu, slow burn, angst, fluff

notes: god, this fic just has it all for me. the characterisation of miles and alex's dynamic is just SPOT ON and right from the beginning has this wonderful sense of innate connection in a way that feels so authentic. i can already tell that the slow burn is going to destroy me (in the best possible way). it's also BEAUTIFULLY written with evocative descriptions that draw you straight into the story, super relatable themes, and wonderful snort-out-loud-at-your-computer-screen arctic monkeys boys banter.

Switchblades and Motorbikes by @thranduil-aran-edhil

summary: London. 1950’s. The Arctic Monkeys and the Diamond Dogs have never seen eye to eye. The two gangs are notoriously at odds with each other, constantly getting in fights around town. Alex Turner, leader of the Monkeys, is a sly thief and bike enthusiast that refuses to humble himself just because he’s sorta new in town. Miles Kane, leader of the Dogs, is a rebel with a cause and nothing will stop him defending his community and values. Not even a pretentious bastard like Turner. But a common adversary threatens to change this status quo. Will they find a way to team up? Or will both gangs fall under this much more powerful foe?

tags: 1950s au, violence, enemies to lovers, fluff and angst

notes: oooooh the ANIMOSITY and the tension between miles and alex sets up such an addictive dynamic in this, and the au vibes are just IMMACULATE. i have to admit, i'm only one chapter in but i'm already so hooked i couldn't not add it to the list. the dialogue in it is beautifully done and so full of character, and the whole thing just feels like watching a really cool movie play out onscreen.

I'll Pretend (Or Not) by @28-destiel-505

summary: Everyone knew Miles Kane and Alex Turner hated each other. But when it goes too far, their teams force them to do a collab to save their public images. Nobody understands when their relationship seems to have changed, not the fans, not their friends and not even themselves. Telling people it's just for the public might work for a little while but at some point, their friends question it. Maybe it's because of the time spending together or maybe it's because of the things happening when they're on stage but people start wondering what is really going on between the two.

tags: slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, secret relationship

notes: okay i'm also in the early stages of this fic, but it's been on my to read list FOREVER and i am so excited to get further into it because i am a sucker for enemies to friends to lovers and i enjoyed the first two chapters so much!

under these lights you look beautiful by @alexturne

summary: Miles got completely lost in his voice. There was a faraway quality to it, like he belonged somewhere else entirely, but somehow had decided to grace them with his presence and Miles felt blessed to be near him if even for a short while. The subtle elegance hidden in his slender figure, the mannerisms of his fingers wrapped around the corners of his notebook. His words were spoken softly, quietly, but without any hesitation or faltering. Alex is an elusive poet, who has a way with words and Miles is a bartender, who is completely mesmerized.

tags: bartender au, slow burn, falling in love

notes: i've literally only read the first chapter of this but it already has me HOOKED - it's so cosy and atmospheric and i can already tell it's going to tug on my heartstrings so much in the best way. and omg poet alex with humbug hair?? i am in love as miles is oh lord.

that's it for now! if anyone has any fic recs (your own you want to promote or anyone else's that you've read and loved!), please feel free to send them my way - i feel like i'm probably missing some major ones from this list and am always looking for more good milex fics!

[etherealspacejelly]

my parents dont get my autism or my transness or my aroaceness

they dont get that im not trying to be rude or selfish or whatever but they think i am

they dont get dysphoria

they keep asking me if i have crushes or a boyfreind

they dont get that if the foods bad ill refuse to eat it

they dont get sensory issues or food issues

they dont get that the internet is a safer place to talk about my emotions than they ever will be

they dont get how much effort i put into trying to be normal for them

they dont get anthing

they keep trying to force me to spend time with them playing board/card games which i hate and they know i hate

they keep messing up my pronouns

one of my dads "insprational" speeches was your not flat, you'll never be flat so give up.

when i first came out my mum said "why cant you just be a lesbian instead of nonbinary or whatever?"

they say i cant call myself trans bc i don't want to be a boy

they dont get how much periods suck even tho they dont hurt

theres probably more but i cant remember it rn

any advice would be helpful

maybe ill run away and live somewhere better for me but i can think of a place

hey anon. unfortunately im not sure how to help you with the autism or aroace stuff myself, even though i am aroace and autistic my mum doesnt really understand either of those and i havent been able to reach that point yet. we have just taken to not talking about it, which is much easier now that i have moved out.

however! i do have something for you that might help! i made a powerpoint about transness for my mum that did help to convince her that being trans is a real and valid thing to be.

i cant link to it on here because it would reveal my full name publicly but you can just make your own! i included facts about the percentage of trans kids that experience anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts, and how gender affirming care significantly lowers those numbers. all of this was taken from the trevor project website!

i also included some stuff about transgender people across history and in different cultures.

i finished it off with a slide about the transgender genocide currently taking place in america and spreading to the UK.

you could make versions of these for autism and aspec people too!

im very sorry that you are experiencing so much invalidation and misunderstanding from your family, i understand how that feels. i hope this technique can help you to teach them a bit about your identities. most of the time when people say mean things about an identity, it is simply because they are misinformed. getting angry and upset is perfectly understandable, but it may make them feel even more antagonised and justified in their bigotry. explaining things to them calmly and simply, with graphs, diagrams, and real data can work wonders.

good luck!

[just4notherd4ydre4mer]

INTRODUCTION + IMP. RULES & INFO

Usually, I'd make things look pretty. But tbh... Idk how to use tumblr at all. Forgive me. I'm not familiar with a lot of the terms on here :'')

Maybe I'll make this aesthetic later?? Rlly lazy and tumblr is confusing.

My username is subject to change anytime to anything, from somewhat thought out or even just keyboard smash. Bcs I'm beyond indecisive.

Also, I'm not new to writing fanfics and what not... but yknow, let's NOT talk abt the past.

[ BASIC INFO]

Call me whatever u want -- Anything works tbh though.

I'm a minor. That alone sets some basic ground rules ig... right?

Uh... I decided to start using tumblr bcs im bored. Like rlly bored. I'm am %100 going to be either very active or inactive. (short bursts of motivation lol)

What I do? I draw. I wouldn't say that I'm a beginner but I want to start sharing my progress (probably wont tho bcs... tik tok has traumatized me. Let's go with that...) But, here I am :) I also write. Whether it be my own original stories or fanfics.

Requests for both are welcome! (options listed below)

[ KEY ]

◍ - Manga/Manwha/WEBTOON … etc

○ - Anime

◐ - Dramas

▿ - Games

❥ - Current Fixation (always up to date)

[ I will usually only take requests for ❥... but you never know, so ask away! Rules are at the bottom of this post ]

FANDOMS (a-z)

•Attack on Titan ~ ○

•Black Clover ~ ❥ ○

•Blue Lock ~ ❥○

•Free! ~ ○

•Full Metal Alchemist ~ ○

•Golden Kamuy ~ ❥○

•Haikyuu! ~ ○

• Hunter x Hunter ~ ○

•Komi Can't Communicate ~ ◍ ○

•Kuruko’s Basketball ~ ○

•Log Horizon ~ ○

•Magi (+Includes AoS) ~ ○

•My Clueless First Friend ~ ○

•My Hero Academia ~ ○

•My Star! (Oshi No Ko) ~ ○

•Pokemon ~ ❥▿

•Saiki K. ~ ○

•School Babysitters ~ ○

•Seraph of the End ~ ❥ ◍ ○

•Skip & Loafer ~ ❥ ○

•Snow White with the Red Hair ~ ❥ ◍ ○

•Soul Eater ~ ○

•World Trigger ~ ❥ ○

•Weak Hero ~ ❥ ◍ ◐ (I've watched the kdrama... I just dont have access to it anymore).

/this could get REAL long so I didn’t include a lot… If you’re interested in one that isn’t listed, feel free to ask if I’ve watched/read it :) /

P.S: I’ve seen lots of the more popular/mainstream animes (movies too) but just didn’t list them.

EDIT: I've decided to link my finished animes.

[ GROUND RULES ]

No NSFW (obviously)

Constructive Criticism? Lovely. Mocking or being blatantly mean? Please don't. I'll be honest, I'm sensitive LOL.

If you want to request, please leave it under the respective post that I make for what is listed. (if there isn't a linked post for that, put it here and I'll make one <3)

Don't be concerned if I disappear. I'm literally making this out of whatever motivation I have left of the week. A spur of the moment thing is going on :'D

---

Again, I have absolutely NO idea what im doin... im bored, it's summer rn. Speaking of which, if I do ever actually post and follow up with whatever requests may or may not come my way -- the moment the school year starts again, either I'll be spam posting my brainrotting ideas or I will just never be seen again :)

[unsleepingtales]

Burrow’s End 3!

Starting this at midnight, will likely pause at some point and finish tomorrow morning :)

Yayyy new party name

And new british thing! How did we get to #36 already?

Just now realizing that these people are the reason that ‘famously’ has entered my lexicon

Yeah they all leveled up A Lot

Character makeup!!

What’s going on with Viola. The makeup has me concerned.

YESSSSS Lila arcane trickster rogue my fucking BELOVED I’m not just saying that bc I’m currently playing an arcane trickster I’m not biased at all what are you talking about

Oh I was so caught up in the arcane trickster stuff that I forgot an important lore thing was happening lemme go back and watch it

God those tongues were horrible

Aabria’s hair looks really nice in this episode

The way we declare things like sidebar in my home game is by loudly saying PAUSE and it’s funny every time

Present tense???

“I’m not him, but I’m here” jesus man

I’m reading way too far into everything but the fact that Jasper’s scar makeup has moved is interesting to me. Why. Was this just artistic choice? Is this indicative of a character thing? Idk

Swifter than the sun faster than the hills oh babe

You’re trying to be good and make your uncle happy but also cult. Be careful babe.

Ooh Erika’s makeup and hair are really cool

Look, check it out :D

Full macbeth

YES I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT

Ohhh their colors. Everyone in earth tones except for Rashawn/Viola. Brennan/Tula and the kids in lighter colors, Erika/Ava in darker tones and shades of grey. Jasper/Thorn in dark tones but also blue. God this is why I love costuming. So cool.

Latin?? Dura Mater, Pia Mater

Children?? Prophetic vision??

“It always is what it is” cmon man

How does this cis man so deeply understand what being a daughter is and distill it so perfectly

Am I detecting some envy in having a husband who listens?

Oop

A mErRy BaNd

Ohhh the warning in saying that something she’s interested in is also one of their mother’s interests. That’s a family thing.

Custom background called stoat mom. Full long rest in short amount of time would be such a good feat and make so much sense for it.

Sometimer’s 😭

Funeral rite for the bear oh my god

Oh tears. Just tears.

TWENTY SEVEN INSIGHT

So many of your deeper thoughts must be put away for the sake of moving forward.

Oooooof

Familial duty is such a mindfuck

The FACE

Awww Ava backstory a bit <3

Thompson’s gonna make partner!

The white mascara is such a good touch it really makes the look

Ooh lore time

HAZMAT SUIT

Testing your power through blind fury? Super duper safe.

Let’s hear it for making bad rolls work within the plot!

Augh

Oh yeah this has all been ONE DAY

Healthy coping mechanism!

That was excellent

Speaking of their long rest. I’m gonna go to sleep. I’ll finish the ep in the morning! (Editor's note: I did not. I finished it the next evening. Such is life.)

Yes that is for real how sleep works and how I act when something insane happened in the middle of the night that I couldn’t deal with in the moment

Effective lessons in communication!

OOF

She wants to save her familyyyy

Siblings!

Those aren’t transferable 💀

No one should be mad at anyone, so if you’re ever feeling mad… don’t.

GOOD ONES

Ooh Jaysohn level of Rogue!

I love the overlapping conversations

Izzy and Siobhan are so good at embodying children’s randomness

Izzy WHAT

He’s a cool dude, he’s just being weird right now

Character choices :D

Ooooh the music being so heavily electronic is so interesting to me

Follow your instincts towards the Light?

Why would it have been bulgarian babe

Jesus

Oh that’s actually such a good way to explain that

Love a shenan!

Solid pigeon impression

Yeah a cult leader would have a +9 to performance wouldn’t he

I feel like this should be a wisdom save or smth to not go insane at what’s happening to him rn

W h a t

He is actually so cursed

WOOOOOOO

Oh that is HITTING

She’s so TIRED

Oooh okay next week looks Wild can't wait

[starchild--27]

i was tagged by @artemiss-moonchild and @heartcravings in two different spotify-centric tag games - so i'll just morph them~ i am also high on finishing a book right now, so yeah, it's gonna be long and full of words i have to vomit out now because my brain is buzzing xDD

shuffle your ‘on repeat’ playlist and post the first 10 tracks,

Brand New City by Mitski ~ probably my favourite song of hers, i feel all of her music and lyrics very very much but this song...just hits different i dunno, i guess it is the closest thing i have to describe this restlessness i get sometimes

blue by keshi ~ every single word in this songs gets me and i am kinda giddy bc i bought tickets to his concert as a christmas present for my sister and me, hehe, i'm looking forward to that already ^^

Where We by Ryu Ji Hyun & Kim Kyung Hee ~ part of the OST of the drama Rain Or Shine / Just Between Lovers, it's on netflix, lee gangdu is my poor little meow-meow, i cried buckets and got wayyy more invested in this drama than i anticipated xD

I Don't Even Mind by Chen ~ it's my favourite track of his 3rd album, i like how his voice blends with the instrumental, i love how his voice is so clear, how it kinda floats over the tumbles of the guitar, it's like fog over a little creek

I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace ~ i stumbled over that one by chance not even a month ago, i knew the band existed and what their sound was like but never listened to their songs, so that one is the only one i know and what can i say...a girl feels conflicting feelings sometimes xD

Nothin' by EXO-SC / Chanyeol ~ i am really fascinated by this song because it has so many layers of sound, there is just so much going on on that track, like it sounds calm and spherical and like you are floating through a dark night, but you are driven by an invisible force, by thoughts and voices and echos. this song makes me fearless, it lifts me up when i am on the ground, it grounds me when my head tries desperately to fly away from my body, it was my no. 1 song in my spotify wrapped xD

Charmer by Stray Kids ~ ok this one is less deep xD it's just a cool, very vibey song, it really got me back into Stray Kids this year and wow it seems very unreal rn that Oddinary was a 2022 release o_o

Lithium by Nirvana ~ a classic, some would say. i can play it on the electric guitar so that's cool 👀✨️ to me this song is probably even more "nirvana" as Smells Like Teen Spirit - i dunno it captured their sound really well and i might sound very pretentious now but it is such a Kurt song, i don't know how to descibe it differently xDD

Words as Weapons by Seether ~ and sometimes a girl feels a very stubborn anger against the world and some people who have deep cuts. listening to this song is cathartic.

Universe by EXO ~ doesn't your heart just open up when they sing "I'll search the universe..."?? because to me it always feels like that, like something bright is opening up my heart, ready to search along with them (it's the way the melody just keeps rising, flying across the nightsky on that long high note)

then list 10 songs you really like, each by a different artist.

New Thing by Zico feat. Homies ~ this song... is just really, really cool. so cool. ahh. i love listening to it, it's always over way too soon xD

saudade, saudade by Maro ~ my Eurovision favourite this year, haha, their whole stage presence was so whimsical, they remained my favorites from start to finish. i just listened to the song a lot afterwards. the soft desperation in it is just everything, really.

505 by Arctic Monkeys ~ screaming crying throwing up about everything in this song. the musical built up, the breakdown, the lyrics - just ahhh everything about this song makes me go feral, especially the breakdown. i think i rarely show as much of myself to other people as i do when 505 comes on and i'm screaming "but i crumble compeltely when you cry"

Slump by Stray Kids ~ sad bop in three languages, made by the one and only Han Jisung who gave the sinking feeling you get when you realize you are somehow falling behind depsite your best efforts a sound. musical genius (but also are u ok bro?). anyway, i can do all the rap parts (in english because i am a chicken when it comes to korean let alone japanese and i really don't want to mispronounce stuff) in this song and i don't think it sounds cringy when i do it so that's what i've been up to musically these days xDD

RED by Survive Said The Prophet ~ the lyrics in this one are so great! it has such a raw power once it breaks loose, it reminds me of thunderstorms and a stadium full of people not minding the rain because the live music is just so good and everything fits, lights flashing and bass guitar and drums messing with your gut. it's full of so many different feelings that you sometimes can't tell apart but they make you want to move and run and run until your body hurts more than your heart.

Star Walkin' by Lil Nas X ~ this song is also so full of energy but a totally different kind. it's stellar, it's bright, it's almost delirious, it's testing out how fast you can run before you fall over your own feet, it's chasing the feeling of your stomach dropping when you go a little too high on the swings. it sounds really weird, but my first instinct when this song comes on is not to blink, not one second, because i could miss something at this racing pace. the verses are just floating in space, looking around, taking it all in, whereas the chorus is pure acceleration until the point where there is no more "faster", feeling it might hit anytime now but it just doesn't xD

Forgive Me by BoA ~ it's her recent comeback and i've never really gave her music a listen but i saw the teaser pics being absolutely my vibe so i checked it out and really liked it! there is nothing more to it haha. it reminds me a little of what i also would have loved to see Seulgi do on her solo album but it's not that big - both harmonize perfectly with their respective tracks.

Hurdle by Suho ~ he made theeeeee summer bop with this song, really. gosh, the way i freaked when i first heard this song xDD i took little notes about the Grey Suit album in my notebook back then so i know for a fact i was immediately obsessed with the funky bass line and the voice distortion and how dancable this song is.

Serenity by Xiumin ~ i've said it before and i'll say it again: this song is an early spring sunrise, when you woke up oddly early snd you go outside to catch the first glimpses of sunlight and the dew still hanging on the grass wets the hem of your pants, tickles your skin, the cold wetness seeping through your shoes but then the first rays of light hit your skin and the air is fresh and clear and everything feels better and new, like you have healed a little, like you can keep going with a new burst of energy now. this is how this song sounds like to me, i get that mental image everytime, dark greens and bright blues and even brighter white and yellow hues.

Checkmate by TheBoyz ~ again nothing all to deep besides the fact that this song is a total banger and i just go insaneeee over the whispering and member who-ever-it-is saying "you're never satisfied". my sister likes TheBoyz and she played it once or twice and that's how i know this song xD

list the first 10 songs played from my spotify wrapped/apple replay when shuffled!

Francis Forever by Mitski ~ this one somehow very quietly became my chanyeol-enlistment-song. it's all about missing someone, needing someone/depending on someone's presence, not in a full on desperate way (a little desperate maybe-) but in a way that is just like what the first lines say "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do with myself now that your not here" kinda like you still need time to figure out how to handle things in the absence of something that has been very present before. it really got to me while Chanyeol was away (yk sorta-away because you really cannot get that man off a stage xD but the feeling has always been different than before) - in the end i think it's a lot about adapting after a change in the way somebody is present in your life.

Daechwita by Agust D ~ i am not the biggest BTS fan on the plant (thank god) but i have a sort of soft spot for their rap line because they simply are really good at what they do, especially yoongi. and daechwita, what can i say, simply a total vibe. i remember how i had this song and Lay's Lit right after on repeat a lot that year, they somehow belong to the same universe xDD Daechwita is all about speed and power and hot rage, Lit is all albout precision and force and a very cold attitude of supremacy - both have this very untouchable and dangerous vibe. they are neighboring kingdoms maybe, very peaceful with each other btw. they just come to destroy them haters xD

Raining by Chanyeol ~ this song it just a biiig loong sigh. it's taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly. the dark heavy piano really is like black paint in an artwork, it really gives the song that heavy atmosphere. then the sax soli are almost complaining, it's whining, it's telling you its story of misery with the heaviest sighs. this also reflects in Chanyeol's vocals, he also has this hint of exhaustion there, this song is just so dramatically done with everything, it just yk wants to have a drink and end this unfortunate day xD on some days i think this might be the best song of the The Box OST because they caught this very moody atmosphere so so well and it's not often done like that in populat music, i suppose (look i probably sound like i know what i am talking about but i really do not- xD)

GOTTASADAE by BewhY ~ again, nothing deep. my bestie sent me the song and was like "!!!! here listen !!!" and i was like "omg!!!!!!!" and then it was on repeat xDD

This Is How I Disappear by My Chemical Romance ~ so here is the thing, i knew about them for a long time but i never had this kind of "emo phase" in my teenage years but when they had their revival tour or whatever this year a lot of people i follow online suddenly were obsessing over them again, and when i like people a lot and they get invested in something, then i want to check that out too. so i listened to their entire discography in one weekend (coincidentally, the exact weekend they played in germany xDD) and This Is How I Disappear was the winner of the little favourite MCR song race i had in my head xD so yeah, i dig their music, especially this song. once again, very cathartic to listen/dance/sing to.

Snow (Hey Oh) by Red Hot Chili Peppers ~ i really like that i got this one on random! because it's the first RHCP song i actively remember hearing, probably in the radio and i was just really obsessed with it (in a way a child can be obsessed with a song it doesn't understand xD) and that just kind of lingered around and i eventually looked up the chords so i could play it on the guitar when i was 13 i think, leading to my dad showing my Californiacation and Under The Bridge and that's when i got more and more into their music in general. another weird fun fact: because i practiced the lyrics very hard back then i can now recite them in absolute inhuman speed, everytime i do it it annoys people to no end but i think it's fun xD

Shutdown by Moonbyul feat. Seori ~ (un)official sapphic anthem, let's gooo. this song is so so sexy in a very soft and casual and relaxed way. i love how their voices harmonize, i love how the melody flows, how you're just drawn into the song from start to finish. this song it somebody touching you very softly, very gently at your most secret, sensitive places. this song is knowing how to have the exact same effect on the other. it's dancing together with the smallest most minimal moves, bodies pressing impossibly close together. i just get this warm, seductive, soft, comfy, sexy feeling from this song.

Free Fall by Øzi ~ i am ascending every time i listen to this song, really. the chorus comes in like the ground beneath your feet rumbling and breaking apart, falling through the cracks. which might sound like a contradiction to what i said in the phrase before. but falling and flying are very easily confused when it's dark and you can't see the bottom. one of my favourite love letter songs <3

Tire Swing by Kimya Dawson ~ the simplicity of this song is so charming, really. it's nothing big, the melody sounds like a children's song but the lyrics tell the tale of the complicated matter that is really liking someone who is just so different from you that it's actually kinda impossible for things to work out well, at least not with anyone hurt. it's part of the soundtrack for the movie Juno (which i really like) and while the teenage romance is only a secondary part of the plot, i think this song was an amazing pick to explain the relationship between these two teenagers that lead very different lives and have to figure out how loving each other works. it's such an easy song and then again it is absolutely not.

Nothing Else Matters by Metallica ~ my dad once told me that metal musicians make the best love songs and then showed me Nothing Else Matteds as proof and, really, i could only believe him after that. i think, this song has had a huge huge influence on what i expect from a romantic relationship. it really shaped my understanding of romantic love to the point where i said (at 13 or 14) in my diary that if i ever got married it would be to this song, and i am still kind of in awe with this thought because that song remains to be very significant to me. how it's about always being together in a way, about sincerity of feelings, about trust, about getting to know the other better day by day and at some point getting to know yourself better through the other, how it's about sharing things openly, about living a life together, about having a companion like that who shows you the world you thought you knew in another light. it's about the enrichment you experience by having a romantic partner, that goes beyong anything sexual which is so often immediately associated with romantic love. and that just really left a lasting impression on me, so it's a fave ever since.

ok. this was long. and very uncalled for lol i am sorry for oversharing like that sometimes i'm just really in touch with how exactly music makes me feel and maybe i'm a little sloppy and a little too much in writing long paragraphs about it oops- ^^'

anywayyy i tag @kafkascupcake @byuns-coco @his-mochi-cheeks @cxsmicmyeon @nvwu @joon-rkive @simplypearing @xuoux @whisperingdoves if you guys wanna (feel free to pick the part you wanna do or simply ignore this tho, i am fully aware that this is a lot of time consuming text, so i won't mind at all xDD)

[trickstarbrave]

after playing morrowind (im not finished i am just too exhausted to play rn) i am just overwhelmed with the desire to take a hammer to skyrim, rip it up, and build smth new

i dont hate the setting of skyrim. i dont hate the main ideas behind it. i just think it was done dirty by oversimplification of the plot progression. the way it is structured and written feels like it presumed the player is a lazy moron incapable of thinking things through or making choices. there is rarely ever 2 ways to solve a problem. not to mention it is mostly annoying dungeon crawling with little justification. just go to this nordic tomb and get this thing. only exceptions are thieves guild and dark brotherhood missions only because it would make less than 0 sense. but the mages college? main story? BARDS COLLEGE? dungeon crawling baby hope you arent fucking sick of draugar by now bc you’ll be seeing a bunch of them. most of the time in morrowind i wasn’t in random dungeons or caves. people sent me to track down other people, solve problems for them. you can wipe out a mine or you can extort money from the owner. you can talk your way out of problems. in some sections you can kill ppl annoying you who wont name you horator.

some suggestions i have to make skyrim feel more alive and complex (under the cut bc i wrote too much) based on now other elder scrolls games so i know these things arent impossible or never occurred to anyone at bethesda:

>reputation and disposition should come back. why are these random ppl answering all my questions? if im a nobody except named dragonborn by some monks in a monastery no one really does to, why does anyone give a shit i say stop the civil war?

>much like the nerevarine, people don’t believe you are dragonborn right off the bat. hell, even if they DO, that doesn’t make you THE dragonborn. many dragonborns have exists. you claiming to be one more so makes you a potential problem for politics--the empire could be weary of you trying to drum up support to overthrow the empire, something they DONT NEED. the monks meanwhile ask you to do a VARIETY of spiritual tasks before they will begin training you. gather artifacts not just in tombs. go to various locations around the world. after every shout they teach you they don’t just give you a tutorial but then set you on a clear task to use it. maybe i need to go find a fox that is an avatar of lorkhan, or travel to that tree to speak to kyne. and even after they name you dragonborn, see above, not everyone is going to agree with their judgement or necessarily care. but also if you DO prove yourself, you could gain a lot of respect and reputation around various factions. this would also incentivize exploring instead of just fast traveling to your next dungeon.

>a dragon cult that isn’t undead as an overworld faction. im sick and tired of all dragons being mindless killing machines with few exceptions. im sick of all the dragon cultists being basically zombies and liches. if theyre a real threat, they should have a bigger presence. dragons taking over towns and small settlements where there are acting priests or priests in training. cultists taking people captive. draugar waking from their tombs and wandering into town to kill people. make them a third player in the ‘civil war’. maybe some dragons ruling these towns dont even kill you on sight--to them you are a weak little baby dragon who poses no threat. the soul of a human in a weak, fragile body who does not understand what true power you could attain, a pitiful creature who doesn’t even know flight or the full extent of their knowledge. they are sentient beings with their own culture and ideas after all. and the cultists could have a very real motivations for joining like being fed up with both the empire AND stormcloaks, or not wanting to be the next helgen.

>i actually liked morrowind’s dialogue system ngl. i understand the limitations of a fully verse voice cast, but they already reuse voices and dialogue. i wish we could just ask more conversation topics and get more varied answers. weird responses from npcs made interacting with characters more memorable and enjoyable than a basic stupid fetch quest. caius being like “uhhh you’re starting to scare me” when i questioned him about my weird dreams made it feel like we were actually having a conversation and i was asking questions not just “this is scripted dialogue and i am basically a story prop with no thoughts or feelings” like i often get in skyrim (with a few exceptions)

>more weird shit. frankly we just need more weird shit in skyrim. i wanna see funny in jokes or weird things that add depth. there is no scamp serving drinks or a sheogorath cultist that only meows. no woman on the side of the road who fell in love with the rogue that robbed her and begs me to reunite them. i want more intentionally weird things. no necrophiliac saying “im not a necrophiliac BUT what is the punishment if you were one lol”. no town based off of lovecraft’s work in the middle of nowhere. the elder scrolls series used to have SO MANY weird things in it and frankly those were the best parts.

>the blades should be introduced later. I think, as annoying as it might be, you should only be contacted by Delphine when you have enough reputation in the world. she’s supposed to be a cautious woman. why leave a note like that in a random tomb and then have you do a test AFTER revealing she’s a blade basically. she holds the key to moving forward, only after you do various tasks for her that you then realize only after the fact was gathering up various blades members who are in hiding. i know the network is being hunted down, but i think there should be more than like. 2. give us some people pretending to be crazy skooma junkies, or people who have integrated themselves into various jarls’ courts. she seems like a random innkeeper with a penchant for archaeology and might have secrets of the dragons you’re looking for, asking you to deliver mail in exchange for some information, but in reality you’re contacting her allies she hasn’t been able to speak with out of fear because by this point she thinks you won’t be killed by the thalmor very easily or are a plant for them.

>breaking into the thalmor embassy should just be redone or have multiple ways of going about it tbh. i can also be the most stealthy person alive literally invisible yet the thalmor just fucking know i am a spy and they have captured my accomplice so it doesnt matter if i hack and slash my way out of there or not. so it just feels like a lazy way of trying to be interesting while giving you basically nothing they couldnt have done another way. all you learn is esbern is alive and the thalmor have manipulated ulfric against his will for their own agenda and dont know shit about dragons. why would they EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE DRAGONS I DONT GET IT. it doesnt make the thamlor seem more intimidating, doesn’t teach us anything about their goals, nothing.

>furthermore the blades’ motivations and history should be told more clearly. after the septims they basically refused to directly serve the emperor apparently. but their spy network was still there for 170 years???? they still served in the army???? why do the thalmor wanna hunt them down if they don’t seem to like the current empire either. i know its to fuck over the empire and tie them in like previous games but the blades were already a cool intelligence gathering faction living covertly among the people to monitor various powers for the benefit of the empire and emperor. if they are a threat to the thalmor still, why have them have a fall from grace prior to this? why are they even still working for the empire? if anything they should have been using this dynasty’s imperial family as puppet rulers after the whole oblivion gates thing. see above: even if the thalmor have been hunting them i find it hard to believe there are only fucking 2 left. the blades were pervasive in the empire. most having been wiped out doesnt leave only 2 left. there should be more. enough to give them weight.

>redo the mages guild entirely. and most faction guild questlines but ESPECIALLY mages guild. bring back needing a staff. rising in ranks bc you had to do things for the guild and work at it and level up your skills. how am i archmage when i know like 5 spells? what??? i also think there should be more outposts for the college across skyrim. “but the nords hate magic” well having more mages around would certainly show that more wouldn’t it???? have there be tension still. random mages hating being assigned outside the college bc nords are assholes. preferring places close to the border or solitude where they are less in the heartland of nord pride. there being shut down mages guild buildings in some areas left abandoned.

>bigger guilds. bigger towns. i dont need daggerfall sized cities but at least oblivion or morrowind sizes. yknow. just bigger. i feel like we were allowed stuff like guild outposts bc of the town sizes. whiterun does not feel like a hub of trade. its rarely even mentioned despite it being a key point of the civil war both sides want for that reason.

>more settlements and places. vvardenfell is smaller than skyrim. why is there more shit to do. more places to be with more variety and interest. fix that too

>civil war needs to be redone in the fact there is frankly nothing to do. use the camps and outposts. have us clear out bandits to make a new base. negotiate trade. escort caravans that carry supply. take out smuggling operations. spy on the other side using their armor. we have bits of this with taking out agents and stealing papers but i want More. also ideally have different play-styles incorporated into it like you can be an archer, or steal and gather intelligence, or even just different ways to solve the same problems. maybe you threaten someone selling supplies to the other side, or kill them, or destroy their business, or convince them not to. you burn enemy fields so their troops have less food in a really fucked up battle system, or you can refuse those orders if you find them morally repugnant and either get punished for it or have to find a work around through another commanding officer who gives you an alternative. consciously make the choice to just follow orders or think through your actions and refuse. war is ugly and some sides will do anything to win. wouldnt it be interesting to fight dirty one playthrough and the next choose to try and only fight fair and just?

>i know some characters must die because the plot has demanded it. but frankly i feel it is overused sometimes. mages guild, companions, etc. you are promoted bc everyone else died or whatever. can i save them even if i like them as characters? no. nothing i can do can change that for them, even if them being alive could very well be possible and interesting. exception to this is the woman abt to be murdered in markarth when you walk in. why CANT i save skjor if i am fast enough. why cant my choices effect if the arch mage dies or not. it doesnt matter what i do or how fast i do it, they die, so whats the point of trying to do it different ways or try harder. see above for how you always get caught along with your accomplice when breaking into the embassy. it just robs the player of agency. their choices, performance, play style, and skills don’t matter. they will always be arbitrarily rewarded or punished in the linear narrative the devs have decided to make things as simple as possible bc every day people cant make choices and think things through or accept consequences of their actions they might have to live with. they cant want to craft their own narrative, it needs to be as simple as possible, people only like simple things.

if i think of more i can add more but most of these things have core issues behind them that i think if addressed could fix large swaths of issues.

[moon-ursidae]

SESSION #4… & #5 (this one is SUPER LONG i’m sorry haha)

as always, SPOILERS for BOTH of the last of us games are below!

i feel like i have barely made a fuckin dent in this game haha so my goal today is to really get some ground. i want to finish this before i go back to school next week.

total play time:

session 4: about 5 hours

session 5: around 7 hours

i left off in a really weird spot last time bc i ended pretty abruptly so idk where it’ll put me

but this section is called Capitol Hill

it started me back a few minutes but that’s alright!

goddamnit i knew it was too quiet. there was too much short grass around here i knew some wlfs were gonna fuckin show up

NOOOOO the halloween stuff is probably reminding ellie of riley :(

i think that’s the same frankenstein statue/figure from the mall as well?

damn.

i have a feeling this place is gonna be CRAWLING with wlfs. i literally hear them already

FUCK as soon as i used the workbench

wlfs AND infected??? jfc

i at least found a card tho

THERE’S A WHOLE STEALTH UPGRADE BRANCH????

my rogue heart is so happy

I WAS WONDERING WHEN I COULD MAKE SILENCERS FUUUUUCK YEA

there’s a bunch of pride stuff around! fuck yea!

LMAO DINA “what’s with all the rainbows?”

FUCK YEA BOOKSTORE

SORORITY SECRETS💀 “it’s us right?” LMAOOOOO

that’s so fucking funny

there’s a trans flag in here too!! FUCK YEA

lmao dina getting distracted by the gay smut

OH MY GOD THE WLF ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE

i fucking love silencers holy shit fuck yea

this area is HUGE holy shit

anutha card babyyyyyy

what if i don’t want to go to the tv station huh? what then?

dude i gotta try ellie’s half up half down hair style. i love it so much

it’s also crazy how this is still DAY ONE for them

ellie saying how she couldn’t do this without dina and dina telling ellie she wouldn’t have let her😭😭😭😭😭😭

oh shit explosive trap

anutha card babyyyyyy

“i like you.” “i want it in writing.” I LOVE ELLIE AND DINA

oh my god ellie’s talking about bill

i wonder what the fucker’s up to rn

ellieeeeeeeeeeeee don’t say that shit

“you have a bigger burden that puts you in a worse position” ELLIE NOOOO

“feel her love?” are we entering scar territory? oh fuck

TOMMY’S HORSE OH SHIT

oh no dina

ellie, dina’s pregs dude. be patient with herrrrrrrr

she sounded annoyed with her when she asked if she was good to keep going. and it doesn’t help that ellie just said that shit about other people being a burden. ELLLIIIEEEEEE

had to break for like 20 min due to some internet issues

well what was 20 min turned into like more than 7 hours HAHA

and what turned into 7 hours turned into 2 days…

so i’m just gonna mash the two sessions into one post bc it’s easier and i can sooo LMAO

i’m sorry ya’ll shit has been wack and the anxiety is in full force haha ANYWAY

SESSION #5 BEGINS HERE!!

idk where it’s gonna put me bc i ended pretty abruptly (again.)

also i think my first tattoo is gonna be the moth on the guitar and on ellie’s tattoo? i’ve been thinking about it for over a year😯

OKAY it started me a little bit after finding tommy’s horse

i already have shitty eyes i CANNOT see these traps in the tall grass dude

i have a feeling i’m gonna get jumpscared in this fuckin furniture store

ANUTHA CARD BABYYYY

I WAS RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK

THEY CRAWL NOW???????

damn i opened this safe just to be able to grab NOTHING i am fully stocked on everything

… i spoke too soon

going back for the med kit bc i tripped a fucking bomb…

more of the “feel her love” art

radio station WOOOOO

she really did learn so fucking much about surviving from joel holy fuck

bc if she only grew up in a community and didn’t go across the country w joel i don’t know if she would have the knowledge that she does

oh shiiiit there are some dead ppl upon this balcony

i don’t think this was tommy tho

nope! there’s an arrow in this person

i also like how they subtly tell you who killed them with the arrow. there have been no wlfs with bows anywhere. they all have firearms. tommy is always seen with a rifle of some kind but never a bow. so there’s a lot of process of elimination that can be done just from this alone. i fuckin love little details like that.

so it was scars. the “feel her love” graffiti and the wlf patrols frim earlier mentioned them. i love how this group is being introduced slowly. it really builds them up and tells you what you need to know about them before you encouter them.

i already know about the scar group so i have some insight, but the way they slowly add them into the mix is cool

hopefully i get a bow soon

onward to the inside!

ohhhhhhh fuck.

i don’t care who you are, no one deserves to be hung like that. that’s horrible.

damn i can’t even cut them down. fuck, man.

and those are wlf, so it was the scars

the scar symbol in blood? jesus christ.

and i know there’s gonna be combat here bc i see that clip on tiktok all the time of this encounter

the music is stressing me the fuck OUT

found another card tho

kimimela is fucking DOPE

although this does seem like a really comfy place to set up, it’s too big to defend dude

clearly that was their downfall bc jesus christ it is a massacre in here

i’ve only seen dead wlfs. no scars.

oh shit it’s leah

ellie’s hands are shaking :(

oh fuck there’s polaroids of all of them

OH SHIT THERE’S A PICTURE OF ABBY

god the way that she stares at the picture :(

and the music AHHHH :(

the way that dina recenters her by saying “3 down, right?”

god i love them

dina pointing out how fucked it would be to interrogate leah like tommy did to the one guy, but ellie is so persistent that she doesn’t feel it’s wrong GOOODDDDDD DUDE MY HEART

RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING FOR MY LIFE

ohhhhhh fuck we’re underground. i know what’s about to fuckin go down. and i want NONE of it bro

fuckin theatre WHEN?

this subway shit REALLY feels like the last of us

the lighting from the flares is fuckin SICK

oh shit i’m just gonna make them fight clickers and just wait it out this is great

this is some benny hill shit with the way they’re running in circles w clickers chasing them

the atmosphere is fuckin horrifying

i hate the bloater sounds that i’m hearin

it just feels musty down here dude i’m sweating

GODDAMNIT i know i missed a whole fuckin section to search back there and i can’t get back now. FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

god fuckin damnit bro SHIT

THERE WAS PROBABLY SO MUCH STUFF BACK THERE I THOUGHT I SEARCHED EVERYTHINGUUUHHHH

THERE WAS PROBABLY A GODDAMN CARD BACK THERE

I’M SO PISSED AT MYSELF RN

the lighting and sound design down here is fucking CRAZY

the distant screams and infected sounds are helping to create a really tense environment

shambler?! what the fuckin fuck is that??

nope

nopenopenopenopenopenopenope

fuck that. i’ll see you guys later!

“holy fuck” is absolutely right ellie

i just dropped down. i want back up. fuck this dude. i don’t fuckin want it

fuck right off

thank fuck for trap mines. oh my god.

that cart holding open the door collapsing is a really smart way to close off the area

i want out of these tunnels bro

tbh scavenging is one of my favorite parts of the game. it’s so satisfying.

oh shit! there’s a carving of the scar woman in the graffiti. this shit is HELLA cultish bro

hmmmm this newspaper clipping about a community in the suburbs surviving seems like her origin story, whoever the fuck she is

“the community members unanimously credited their survival to one woman…” unanimously being the key word there

“she had a vision of catastrophe… ‘divine retribution’” yuuuup sure sounds cult-y to me

CARD ACQUIRED

“how’d you do that?” “magic.” “you’re my favorite.” THEY are my favorite your honor🥹

THERE’S A FUCKIN HAWAIIAN SHIRT IN HERE ELLIE TAKE IT

naughty dog yellow babyyyyyyy over the rail down below

oh fuck more bitches

again, thank god for trap mines

DAYLIGHT! THANK GOD!

but i know there’s more to come

ANUTHA CARD

bastet is really fuckin cool

i’m waiting for this train to fucking COLLAPSE dude

i feel so bad for dina

she’s leaning up against the train with hands on her knees :(

THERE IT IS

TRAIN COLLAPSE

ohhhh fuck i heard hella infected i’m gonna have to DIP

the way dina was so ready to go down with ellie too

she instantly offered to share masks

and the way she YELLS at ellie when she takes her mask off

GOOOODDDDDDDDDDD this is so fucked

OH SHIT TIME TO RUN

I ALMOST FUCKED THAT UP BUT I MADE IT

OH SHIT DINA

THEATRE!!!! MY BELOVED FINALLY!!!

there is a CONVERSATION that is gonna happen that needs to dude

the way dina looks at her arm AHHHHH

omg i do that same shit ellie’s doing w her hands during confrontation

her having to correct “know” to “knew” bc of joel🥲

oh fuuuuck dude i know i’m not gonna like ellie’s reaction to dina’s pregnancy

dina trying to break the tension w the “don’t worry it’s not yours” 🥺

ELLIE DON’T “are you fucking kidding me?”

I GET THIS IS STRESSFUL BUT DAMN

COMPASSION MAYBE?

ohhhhhhhhh shit a few weeks ago? shit dude.

i agree that it would’ve been good for dina to stay in jackson BUT that can’t change rn. ya’ll are in the fucking pnw

“well you’re a burden now, aren’t you?”

😐

🤦🏻‍♀️

ELLIE.

DINA’S FACE :(

FUCK DUDE

go fuckin walk it off ellie goddamn i love you and everything but ur bein dumb rn

and if joel did the same shit (which i’m sure he would have during the first game) i’d be mad at him too

DINA CURLED UP FACED AWAY FROM ELLIE :(

APOLOGIZE ELLIE.

seeing dina look so small from the balcony UUUGH

i feel like i’m gonna get jumpscared pt.716282

ANUTHA CARD

okay beyond is fucking dope i think she’s my favorite card so far

where’s the props table bc i’m gonna touch it and all the props that aren’t mine LMAO

the guy that was here before is definitely still here

and fuckin fried on the roof…

sorry bro

i feel like there’s gonna be at least one or two in the auditorium tho

THE LIGHTING IS SO FUCKING GOOD OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDDD

“joel. you’d love watching a movie in this place.”😭😭😭

WAIT I NEVER CHECKED MY JOURNAL

hold up journal break

her shambler drawings are fuckin cool

jesus i’m getting pit orchestra flashbacks from this auditorium

THE SICK HABIT PLAYED HERE!!!

AND ELLIE GETS THE SET LIST!!!

only $25 for a concert?????

A GUITAR🥲

holy shit this guitar is pretty

FUTURE DAYYYSSSSSSSS😭😭😭

fuck dude i’m crying

cut to black???

OH FUCK IT’S THE FLASHBACK

NO I’M GONNA SOOOOOBBBBBBB

I’M ALREADY A MESS

once i hear his voice i’m gonna lose it.

3 years earlier😭

losing it.

FUUUUCK THERE HE IIIIIISSSSSSSS😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I CAN SEE THE FUCKING CASETTE TAPE IN HIS TSHIRT POCKET

just seeing him standing here is making me fucking cry.

“oops.” AND HIM LAUGHING AHHHHHHH🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

“push the water with your whole arm blah blah blah” “glad to know i’m gettin through” THEY’RE SO FATHER AND DAUGHTER AND I’M GONNA LOSE MY MIND

i’m wondering if it was a choice to have joel not have any close ups during these cinematics

“i am very angry and upset.” I’M LABSLSBSKWVDKSVSOSB

I MISS HIM SO FUCKING MUCH

“you need to stop lettin people rile you up” IT APPLIES TO ELLIE CURRENTLY TOO DUDE AHHHHHH

WHEN HE’S BEEN LEADING THE WAY THE WHOLE TIME BUT THEN LET ELLIE GO FIRST THROUGH THE WOODS BEFORE THE DINOSAUR😭😭😭😭😭😭

“that’s a big boy” 🥹🥹

I’M FUCKING CRYING SO MUCH DUDE

oh i’m R E A D I N G this journal bitch

CAT MENTION!!!

omg the little 3d shape sketches w shadows and the diamond thing LMAO that shit is all over my fucking school notes

THE DRAWING OF TOMMY AND JOEL IN THEIR FUCKING COWBOY HATS😭😭

HIS CONCERN WHEN SHE WAS CLIMBING UP THE TREX😭😭

“don’t jump. CLIMB down.”

*immediately jumps*

the “HEY! HEY!” WHEN SHE JUMPED DOWN😭😭

“did you see that?” “yea i saw that” IN THE MOST EXASPERATED PARENTAL TONE UUUGGGHHHH

THE PAMPHLET THAT WAS IN HIS HOUSE😭😭

HE LOOKS SO PROUD STANDING THERE

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER PLEEEAAASSSEEEEEEEEEE

HE’S SUCH A DAD OH MY GOD

THE HAT!!

HAHAHAHA I LOVE HER

i know ashley said that “actually” in a kinda jokey nerd “um actually” voice on purpose💀

“pretty sure those are velociraptors.”

JOEL SAW JURASSIC PARK WOOOO

“sorry all the dinosaurs are busy right now.” “what are you doin?” “oh wait. one of the dinosaurs is here. joel, it’s for you.” “very funny.”

I L O V E T H E M

she really had to dig the knife deeper huh? LMAO “get it? because you’re old.”

“there was a sequel. wasn’t as good.” LMAOOOOOOOOO true

THE HAT ON DINOSAURS SAGA BEGINS

“is this gonna be a thing? please don’t let it be a thing.” OH IT’S A THING JOEL.

“triceratops. at least there’s one i recognize.” I LOVE JOEL.

THEM POKING FUN AT EACH OTHER

“this one’s brain was the size of a walnut.” “looks like you two have somethin in common” PLEAAASSSEEE

i’m gonna start crying more bc this is how me and my dad are i swear to fucking god

“tell ya what.. when we get back to jackson, movie night.” 😭😭😭😭

SHE PUT THE HAT ON HIS HEAD😭

THE GRUMBLE IN PROTEST HAHAHA

TROPHY BABY

A FUCKIN CARD????

“sarah was into those for a little while. or was it the tiny creatures? i forget.” KAHSKSHSKSVWKSBSKSBSKSHAKV

THE FACES IN THE MIRROR WHILE JOEL HITS THE DAD LEANING ON DOORWAY STANCE PLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEEE

naughty dog said “LOOK AT HOW GOOD OUR FACIAL ANIMATION IS. L O O K. FEAST UPON IT WITH YOUR EYES”

“look how thick this one’s skull is!” “kinda looks like…tommy” “i’m telling him you said that.” “please don’t. catch it in the right light, boom. tommy.” I’M- 😭

“i happen to know a thing or two.” “from a movie.” “keep goin.” ASJSHAKSBSKSB HAHAHAHAHA

H A T LOCATED

now they both have hats🥹

“did you go to museums a lot?” “yea. sarah loved em. i swear that girl dragged me to every museum in texas.” JOEL PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

“looks like a giraffe” BC SHE’S ACTUALLY SEEN THEM IN SALT LAKE CITY😭😭😭😭

JOEL PUT THE HAT ON IIIIIIITTTTTTTTT😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“i see the appeal.” IN THE SOFTEST VOICE EVER😭😭😭😭😭😭

i’m suing naughty dog for emotional damage

side note: the way the light spills in from the ceiling????? GORGEOUS

oh fuck it’s the space exhibit

i love that joel could have easily gone over the fucking cabinet next to the turnstyle but he didn’t to amuse ellie😭

“did you know this was here?!” “you don’t like it. we can head back.” “shut up!” WHILE SCRATCHING THE BACK OF HIS HEAD BC HE WAS WORRIED?? I’M GONNA-

“joel, can you name all the planets?” THE WAY HE CHUCKLED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO DROP THE BIGGEST FUCKIN MINDBLOWING INFO HAHAHAAAA

“my very educated mother just served us nice pizzas.” “uhhh… did you just have a stroke?”💀💀💀💀💀

“daggum girl, you are smart.” 😭😭

GOING THROUGH THIS AND KNOWING THAT HE HAD THE FUCKING SPACE FOR DUMMIES BOOK ON HIS BEDSIDE TABLE IN JACKSON MAKES ME FUCKIN- KAHSKSHSKSVSKSVS

“tell me another fun fact.” AGAIN IN THE SOFTEST VOICE LIKE HE’S GENUINELY HAPPY HERE

“why don’t you tell me what you like about it.”😭😭

“all right, kiddo. now i get it.” AGAIN. SOFTEST VOICE. 😭😭😭😭

TROY BAKER WHAT THE FUCK

hitting ANOTHER dad stance at the fucking rover

i don’t wanna go in the shuttle bc i know i’m gonna be even MORE of a mess and that this is gonna end. and i don’t want it to bc i fucking MISS joel

the way he immediately jumps in to help her open the door on the lil shuttle🥹

here come the tears

“happy birthday kiddo.” i’m gone.

THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HERRRRRR

HE CARES ABOUT HER SO FUCKING MUCH.

i fucking love how it looks like she’s actually in a shuttle to show how immersed she is🥺😭😭😭

and then it slowly fades back in GODDAMN NAUGHTY DOG

“i do okay?” JOOOOEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLL

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE WAY HE SMILES AFTER SHE SAYS “are you fucking kidding me?” 😭😭😭😭😭😭

THE PIN ON HER FUCKING BAG FUCK OFF 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

“whose birthday is it?” “you can’t keep doin that!” HAHAHAHA

“i want a good splash!” i love them so fucking much. oh my god.

YYYEEESSSSSSS. it isn’t a joel and ellie adventure without ye olde boost

“okay, be safe!” “you be safe!” have i said that i love them?

there’s gonna be infected in here right? has to be.

there’s an “i killed for them” written on the wall.. not creepy at all..

ANUTHA CARD WOOOO

okay jk saura is my favorite card now

“this guy needed a hug” about the i killed for them on the wall💀

“the 4 soldiers at the gate. the last one cried.” this is fuckin creepy dude

I DON’T LIKE THIS WITHOUT JOEL HERE

she has her gun out and said “oh shit” but i don’t see anything??? I’M SCARED

“the women were tortured. choked on her own blood.” this is fucking CREEPY DUDE WHERE IS JOEL

“the stragglers that snuck into camp. they just wanted food.” have i mentioned that i don’t like this?

FUCK the crashes scared me dude

“the kid who ran into the blast. i couldn’t stop him.” dude why the fuck are you plastering this shit on a museum wall

“the people in the van. we locked them in and doused it with gas.” jesus fucking christ dude.

“there is no light.” ohhhhhhhhhh were they looking for the fireflies then?

jesus fucking christ this is sad and fucked up

what a cool birthday ellie good god

THOSE WOLVES SCARED THE SHIT OUTTA ME DUDE

okay i had no fucking idea there was more to this flashback after the space shuttle like i thought it ended there so i have no fucking clue what’s next

A FUCKING BOAR???? WHAT THE FUCK???

“liars.” ohhhhhhhhhh fuck. it’s definitely the fireflies.

JOEL!! damn he looks good. SORRY

yeaaaaa there’s the logo fuck bro

AND THE WAY ELLIE TOUCHES HER SCAR AKSHAKSBSKSBKWB ASHLEY JOHNSONNNNNNNNN

THE M U S I C

and how it stays on that shot??? beautiful.

SEATTLE DAY 2 BITCHESSSSSS

YESSSSS THE ICONIC BUTTON UP OUTFIT YYYEEEEAAAAAAAA

LEMME SEE THAT TATTOO ELLIE

i’m gonna practice guitar tho

DAMN playing this is harder than actual guitar

JOURNAL check-in! how we feelin ells?

oofta. expected this though.

“i shouldn’t have said that to her.” THEN TELL HER THAT

i like that her writing reflects how her brain is going 100 miles a minute

i feel like dina’s doing all this tracking even though she feels like shit bc ellie said what she fuckin said :(

have i mentioned that i FUCKING LOVE dina? bc i very much do.

oh fuuuuuuuck it’s tommy

oh fuck HILLCREST? fuuuuuuck

i feel like dina should stay

yeaaaaaa she’s not lookin good dude

YESSSSS THE BRACELET

“i don’t believe in luck.” “i do.” I LOVE THHHHEEEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMM

a lil smooch goodbye 🥺

I START IN HILLCREST?????

FUCK.

i think i’m gonna stop here actually? this post is already super fucking long bc i’m dumb and decided to combine session posts lmao

ANYWAY i will pick back up at hillcrest… tomorrow!

this was a longer session and i feel like i got through a decent chunk today so WOOOOOOOO

[friendlyneighborhoodgaymer]

Keep forgetting to post on here aAaa someone needs to smack me lol. Anyway- this is gonna be a bit of a long post so, bear with me!

These two polls here are for my Twitch streams! They have multiple choices, and you may vote on as many as you'd like! I also won't see who votes, so don't be afraid to do so! These are important as they will dictate what I stream this upcoming week, as well as whether I continue streaming AC:CF, record videos of it in my own time, or both. I am also debating streaming more than once a week, but we'll see. I have to figure out dates, and see when I'm not busy. Things could change on the 11th too, so there's a possibility my schedule could change if that's the case as well. We'll see! I am working on editing VODs from previous streams to upload to YouTube soon, so at the least if I can't stream on my usual day in the 3rd week of October, then I'll have something to post on YouTube at least!

First Poll

Second Poll

I will also note; I have a public discord where I keep my streams and YouTube content up-to-date! I always announce if I'm streaming or not there, since I can't always keep up with updating all my socials all at once. I am still in the process of getting it fully set it up, and anyone is welcome to suggest chat ideas. We even have some VC chats. There's also places where you can share your art, streams, videos, etc. as well as discuss gaming and anime, and other various topics. The discord also has a supporters role and a private chat + VC for those who are supporters via my Ko-Fi! Those who are supporters also get WIPs for multiple things, as well as a slew of other rewards which can be seen here! Anyone is welcome to join the discord though if you'd like to be kept up-to-date on when I'm posting videos or streaming, so feel free to pop in here if you'd like!

Also, I have some good news! I have a compression glove now and it seems to be helping a decent bit with gaming and art? My arm still hates me from time to time but it's definitely helping my hand, so I may look into a full on compression sleeve at some point in the near future when I can afford it. For now though, this has been helping! Also, apologies for the slowness in art. I have been dealing with all sorts of things and have also been trying to work on MAP parts and editing VODs as of late, so I've not been doing too much art. I also got a minor concussion last night and I've been having a lot of nightmares the last week, as well as last night, so I'm struggling a bit rn. I'm hoping to have some more time to work on getting owed art to those that are waiting on it soon though! Also will be working on some halloween YCHs soon! I'm definitely thinking there is a possibility that once I finish all my current owed art, I may only start doing small openings for commissions and YCHs. So if you're interested, now is the time to be ordering! Because I'm hoping to have everything finished before the end of the year so that I can take a break from owed art. But as of currently due to needing funds and I myself not having a job or disability, I can't afford to not have them open. But I think this would be the best possible option for the future, due to my arm, back, and spikes in motivation+focus due to ADHD. If things change though, I may change this, but we'll have to see! I just genuinely miss being able to actually draw for myself and those that are important to me and I can't do that these days without the stress and pressure of my owed artwork, or without pain.

Also, My partner and I still need funds for bills! They're overdue at this point with another one coming soon!

•I have characters UFS/UFO/EOs here, as well as I'm EOs on these OCs here.

•I also have commissions open here, just fill out the form and feel free to DM/PM for any questions!

•My partner also has commissions open here as well as PNGTuber commissions open here!

•My partner & I's buddy Sammy/Spectre also made some adopts to help with the bills, you can find them here!

[lostacelonnie]

Hi welcome back! God i feel that life has been wild lately so i totally understand. Oh hey no worries ive been in a boat too of like. Man i really want to do this thing but my energy just isnt there. Yikes i hope you enter a stage of having more rest time soon. 8 exams? What the hell thats too many. Baking is a fun hobby i love to partake in that one myself. I like to make sweet breads & such. & its good to have a hobby to like. Pull yourself out of your head when stuff like school gets to be too much. Having to exist in public unfortunately means people will sometimes try to talk to you when you just. Want to go about your day. That is surprising but i also went to school with mostly a bunch of pricks who were awful people so. Had to look up what gran canaria is but it sounds like a nice place id love to visit sometime. Clearly schools work on fae rules. I will save for ruan mei i swear. After i pull archeron. I got black swan with the free pulls i had saved so im hoping to nab archeron. I instantly fell in love with her. Very nice clara supremacy she is so good. One day ill have her on main. I think i stopped at tb 60 so i can work on a few characters but the artifact grind hates me. Oh that sounds real interesting i cant wait to see it play out i just finished the bit where cocolia turned bronya & took the one herrscher at uh. Ch 3 end? Oh i know that one! Catarina my beloved she's so stupid i love her. Easily one of the best protags in recent memory. Dunmeshi is real good so far ive been enjoying it & seeing my girl marcille animated is everything i hoped for. Love my favorite fail girl elf. Im caught up on penacony & still dont understand the racist sparkle thing. Might be i wasnt fully paying attention at the time though. Seele confirmed for best girl by all herscherrs. Oh she must have a good amount of lore im excited to read that. Oh so thats what that means okay. Kinda love that it sounds fun. & more good natured than when people here say that about america. Good luck on surviving i believe in you!

HI THANK YOU!!!! god it really has. and the weather here has been so gloomy recently that i have no energy to do anything even if i have the time. the horrors are endless but we stay silly. and thankies once again!!! i MIRACULOUSLY managed to not fail anything so were all good. unfortunately this month is also already packed but luckily its stuff i more or less either know [polish] or like [geography]. and two of the teachers i disliked got fired AJDKFJG. history guy for offering to raise students' grades if they go around spreading konfederacja [a polish extremely far-right party] flyers and that math teacher who couldnt count for saying hitler was a good person. just another day in a polish school, i guess. but both of our replacement teachers are very cool so we're so back. god yeah totally!!! not only do i have something to do for a while but i ALSO get to eat at the end. literally a win/win situation. yeah that Is annoying but as i mentioned its luckily not as common over here.... and ouhggh pain. gran canaria is VERY beautiful but id also like to visit the other canary islands someday...... the carnival on tenerife is one of the, if not the biggest, ones in spain so thatd be fun to see as well. i only missed the celebrations on gran canaria by one day which was quite annoying but oh well. GOD YEAH. im still convinced School Air is a thing bc i simply cannot explain so many things without that assumption. GOOD LUCK WITH BOTH RUAN MEI AND ACHERON!!! im also saving for acheron hehehehe. strange woman and a mei expy so shes a must pull. and also congrats on the black swan!!!! i agree clara is just. cracked. she has carried me through this game and she continues to do so. tho sim uni gold and gears is kinda beating my ass ngl. since i only have the nodes that require full cognition range left to do. oh absolutely fair, i did that for a while and rn am doing the same but with tl 65. but i DID manage to finallyyyyyy max out wolfie's skills the other day so thats done. i do want to get one better artifact for her but i have chars im prioritizing a bit more. and same the artifact grind hates everyone i think. planar ornaments are much easier to grind imo or at least I Personally have much better luck with them than with cavern of corrosion stuff. but that may also be because i genuinely enjoy doing sim uni so it doesnt feel like as much as a chore as coc. AND OH HAVE FUN THEN!!!! the wendy arc, ironically, is the event that kinda butterfly effect causes Literally The Whole game. CATARINA IS VERY FUN YEAH i look forward to finally continuing that.... and dunmesh as well......... oh and with the sparkle thing afaik its much more prominent in the chinese version because. now dont quote me on this because I Do Not Speak Chinese but i have heard that when talking to aventurine, she uses an Actual Chinese Slur Against Romani People. which. not cool. but yeah its somewhat of a strange issue and ive seen a lot of different opinions from both sides so tbh idk where i stand on the whole thing. SEELE 🔛🔝!!! and dw im Working on the summary but ive also realized how much time its gonna take me to write down All Of That so please give me some time i promise ill get it done asap but ah. and yeah its very fun!! i generally feel like a lot of polish humor [ESPECIALLY online but irl as well] isnt quite as. Patriotic as that of the us. but to each their own adjfkjs. AND THANK YOU o7!!!!

[zoekrystall]

Alright I finished the sv dlc I can use the internet without worry again. Minus extra stuff so I still watch it.

I love the fit rn the hat grew on me even tho I usually wear the beret and I love bbq missions especially with the synchro machine it only took so long bc! Let me just run around as a pkmn for hours and forget time! I spent so much time just doing missions I like doing that. Makes me actually motivated to fill that dex bc of those catching missions. The elite four and kieran were fun to do they were not mindlessly easy but not too hard (but fyi I also mochi trained my team). I think the hardest trial was drayton's bc I said fuck it without training the ones I used at all but hey still everything first try. I can see how if you have a lv 80 test team like the ones that tried it early would have a hard time. I'm glad my boy kieran got so strong! Be mean to him or carmine and I will fight you I'm a defender since the first part dropped. I better also not hear anyone hating on amarys. I will prob spent most my time in blueberry academy. Paldea who. Also flying!!! Yay!! I only hate the controls there bc I am used to it in reverse. Up down and down up so that trial was a bit eh altho it was quite easy nonetheless. Hoping I'll get the hang of it for myself now. Anyways I adore flying in games so that's such a nice reward I'm glad it isn't constricted to only that trial/mini game.

Alright I wanted to show the look I got for the league club and

Nemona?? Can nemona come?? Bc she got robbed she would love it here. Anyways it was a fight between this and fancy (the cute fairy type esque one if you know it) which just shows how varied my aesthetics are. Also missed opportunity not giving that speaker driftveil city smh that's one of the best (tho I got nostalgic and whole ds era osts are a bop). Castelia city is also nice but c'mon.

I won't say anything neg bc I can assume the internet will be full of it like always. Doesn't mean I completely disagree with them.

The graphics don't hurt me much but man did I wish that pretty tree would've been even prettier down in the depths,, such nice spots it's a shame there isn't that much except linear story path tbh.

Anyways this will be all reg this. Same as by sonic where I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself for various reasons. But mostly bc I just want to relax. In short the dlc is fun but obv criticism is there but hey I have fun and that's all what counts for me. I personally will never be a critic and I prefer it that way. I will prob start trying to line nice shots up w those filters I got for fun.

I do take kieran serious but I remembered that filter when I beat him and then after tried my best to align the pikachu one.

Was hoping he would change his expression in area zero but he didn't but at least carmine felt better so we got that pic which I feel a bit bad for finding funny.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary57

11/7-8/2023

tuesday - wednesday

not a boring day, today.

i ate leftovers from yesterday and had leftover ramen that my gf didn't finish. i also ate candy and stuff and it's made me feel sort of sick, or at least like, sick with myself. but whatever. thursday is errand day but i don't think i'm going then. idk what i'm doing tomorrow, i'm probably going to try and record more, today i got 2 songs re-recorded basically, i think i'll like them a lot more when i slot those parts in and stuff. what else. mostly i vc'd today with a friend who was super deliriously drunk, and a friend who was not drunk our drunk friend got on this thing, of digging through his steam library for all of these dumb games he had. there was this one about a courier frog, we all were amazed and charmed by the shitty unity effort it was, and how there was this giant transformer running in circles for no reason, a crime scene, the frog held a knife, and a man on a roof. all unrelated to the game, or really even its setting, a row of 8 houses in a suburb, a shitty prefab full of invisible walls. for some reason that game made me want to play videogames more again. things are mysterious that way. seeing him get drunker, and play other games, made me want to play games less though. he was so drunk, thus out of it, while playing a puzzle game called chuzzle, he was getting really, i don't know, i don't know if he was for real frustrated or doing a joke where he was acting frustrated and crazy, by this time the vc had filled up more, the person who introduced him to the server we're in joined and i haven't vc'd w/ her in forever, a friend who is intermittently around in vc joined for a minute too, all while our drunk friend was sat there, staring at his screen, manic and silent, playing a kind of weird and cruel version of bejeweled where you torture strange creatures, made up of hair and eyes. he stayed on that game for like an hour. then he moved onto some other puzzle game that was like, you move blocks around a non-environment, it looked like lame mahjong tiles. anyways he was pretty good at that one and then hit the difficulty bump, and was still basically good but also drunk and still doing his frustrated guy bit, he did some stuff i feel bad about, i was writing it out but there's no reason to do that i think, i can't tell if it was a bit or not, or where it ends, if him feeling free to do some stuff as a bit is just him being able to actually just do certain things for real or not. he did start what i hope was a fake crying thing, where he was like, doing this intense fake ugly cry face, at least i hope it was fake, i asked our friend who knows him irl and she said he is just being a #mastermanipulator but i honestly can't tell still and feel bad basically because i was having a go at him being bad at a puzzle, not really mean i was just saying like "you're making the wrong shape." i don't know. it was funny hearing him say really slurred nonsense, and then say to us all, "can't you be quiet." or "shut your trap" and stuff like that. it was still a little stressful. i dunno. alcohol is kind of nightmarish to me, at least he had people around a while, so it wasn't totally drinking alone. or he was drunk alone but had some people beside him, to make it less soul-destroying. the people i knew who would do that were really really worrying. the vc was a lot of fun though, it's tragic how it makes me snack though, i love to eat salty trash while vcing. i am also just generally so hungry, always.

outside of that, uhhhhh, nothing really, it's a lot of just bullshitting about random stuff in those vcs, i keep thinking about watching this dogra magra movie. maybe i'll try that rn. thinking about the progress on the album, it's feeling closer and closer, i wonder how much closer i can get, if i keep re-recording stuff i'm maybe not happy with this week, that'd be good, but i wonder if i'd feel closer if i tried getting some lyrics out for these newer songs. or they do have lyrics, some at least, those ones are recorded thoughhhhhhhhhghghgh. i dunno. i think by the end of this week i should take a closer inventory of where these songs are, i should also try getting the vocals down for one of these older songs w/ lyrics. as it stands, there's a couple songs i want to still master differently, really minor guitar tone things i think. thennnn, there's one i definitely want to do some minor arranging on to get one part to be less fucked up, or maybe not arranging, just come in differently w/ vox, add an additional guitar bit. and then there's still one i for sure need to get the vocals right on, or a couple i guess.

anyway i watched like half of it i have to finish it 2morrowww, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!

[petrichoraline]

hi petriiiii 🫶🏻 what dramas are you most looking forward right now? or not just dramas but other things too! i'm losing excitement and it's making me a little sad :c

hi, cutie!! right now i'm mostly looking forward to things that have finished airing haha, like a few jbls and dangerous romance. if it's a jbl released this year - i want it. the last bl i finished watching was, iirc, taikan yoho and i haven't been interacting with the fandom on here in terms of commentary in months. i've been out of the loop so getting this question makes me very excited and flattered but also a lil sad cause i might not have anything of substance to say.

i'm not too sure what is coming up in terms of shows but last twilight is smth that i hope i get to keep up with! @stormyoceans managed to get and keep me excited about it so that could be a bit of a comeback for me. i dare not be excited for supposed 2024 gmm releases for now (except maybe for the kieta hatsukoi adaptation uwu) and i'm not really aware of what the other companies are putting out.. oh, i am interested in middleman's love! although i never actually watched bed friend, idk why i'm so interested in tutoryim considering i never even finished cutie pie but here we are 😄

ohh, i want to watch the cute kbls!! sing my crush, why r u, love alarm s2 for example 🥰 also to finish love tractor but that's not up to me only @howitrulyam ˙꒳​˙ and to rewatch kinou nani tabeta? and proceed with the second season <3

as for other media - i'm interested in how ofmd s2 ends; i kinda want to watch miyazaki's the boy and the heron because it's gonna be released in cinemas here! trying to hype myself up to go to the movies alone lol; i'd like to watch a nice regular jdrama, maybe something like beni sasu life :) my happy marriage are a movie and an anime i'd like to get into as well; and lucky my love seems like it'd be to my taste!

anyways, there are plenty of fun shows out there, both older and newer <3 i personally have no desire to watch a lot of stuff so there are no personal recs i can give you about recent or upcoming shows. the dash seems to be full of lots of opinionated bloggers who are keeping up with everything that's currently airing so i'm sure goof stuff are being released and there's def a lot that you're going to like! sometimes synopses don't sound too promising but the series turn out to be really enjoyable so keep an open mind ☺️ in any case i can always recommend older stuff..? if you crave smth in particular i'm alwaysss open to digging through my lists💕💓💞 that being said, i get the desire to watch new stuff as they're being a topic of discussion in the fandom and it's a lot of fun so i'll encourage you to pick a few random shows - varying by country, genre, cast, company, and try to keep up with them weekly. maybe also look into het dramas or even anime? western series? books or games? sometimes you may need a palette cleanser and if the current catalog of upcoming bls isn't really doing it for you, direct your attention elsewhere for a minute. that's what i'm kinda doing rn after a bit of a burnout and it feels good. just mix it up <3

and let's keep in touch! 🥰