#I just feel like i legit reject everything that’s expected from a woman in her later years so I fully expect to be

[stuckinapril]

I just know I’m gonna struggle in my later years bc I don’t wanna get married I don’t want kids I just wanna rawdog life and be a hot milf

[mingying]

[spoilers] hospital playlist s2 ep 11; ikjun/songhwa

I can’t believe this finally happened. And it happened in arguably the best ways possible for us IkSong shippers. As usual, this post is just basically my own thoughts and opinion of the episode and my interpretation of things - feel free to disagree, and I hope you enjoy reading this musing of mine!

22 years later, finally they found each other again <3

TL;DR: Everything happens for a reason and we have finally reached the rainbow end <3

Let’s begin by addressing the ER scene, but before that, I would like to point out that since Ep 10, Songhwa has been shown to be somewhat forgetful and a klutz - in Ep 10, she was searching for her socks and insisted that she wore them for her rounds. She also seemed to have forgotten to take off her surgical cap until Seonbin pointed it out to her.

In Ep 11, the episode starts off with Songhwa leaving her handbag in Ikjun’s office, and subsequently her handphone, followed by her handbag in the car again. This is not a dementia arc, guys (haha) but I genuinely think that this is her mind being occupied by her newly realised feelings for Ikjun that her normally composed self had started to crumble (and that’s entirely ok!). Another interpretation of this scene could be that unintentionally and subconsciously, she just wanted to remain in the hospital knowing Ikjun may return to collect his gift later.

Can I also point out her sixth sense in this scene? When she peered out of her window and heard the sound of ambulance, followed immediately by Dr Bong calling, she looked disturbed. Normally, she would have answered her calls immediately without hesitation but this time you could tell that she frowned and waited for maybe 2 seconds before answering Dr Bong. Well, never messed with a woman’s intuition I guess!

The ER Scene. Gosh. I actually have a lot of things to say about this. I know some people do not like this trope and that it is a typical trigger for characters to realise their feelings. But, I’d have to say that ShinLee did not intend for this scene to be a trigger of Songhwa realising that she likes Ikjun.

Because she already knows and had realised, somewhere around Ep 8-9 but more obviously 9, that she does like him as a man (all over again). If anything, this ER scene was meant to give Songhwa that one last push to confess, otherwise she may end up regretting not to. Another reason why I felt this scene was necessary was that Songhwa has been too comfortable in Ikjun’s constant presence by her side -- perhaps she has been wanting to confess but still lack the courage to and she didn’t think she needed to act on it rightaway because Ikjun would always be there by her side.

Gosh, the way she rushed to Ikjun and didn’t even hear Dr Bong trying to report to her that he actually wasn’t in such a terrible state. The way she slipped her hand in his and was so gentle in her questions - you can really just tell that she was trying her best not to crumble.

(side note: Jeon Mido, your acting was truly stellar during this scene. That suppressed professionalism vs personal feelings. I really felt her worry and regret in this entire scene. I loved it so much)

Now, why do I firmly believe that Songhwa already intends to confess to Ikjun eventually? Other than the fact that Songhwa herself confirmed during her confession that “I should have told you that I liked you”, it’s because of the Gift that she has given him for his birthday. It’s a cap, and initially we don’t think much of it until the flashback sequence showed and we realised that, a cap was what 99z Songhwa wanted to give to Ikjun but never did because he had turned her down for dinner and lied that he has a blind date.

Present day Songhwa gifting Ikjun a cap can be interpreted as her having let go of the hurt he had caused her in the past and that she was willing to try, again.

Interestingly, I’d like to also point out that the 99z flashback in this episode was truly necessary for us to understand Songhwa’s aversion to ‘Sad Sea’ and why she has rejected Ikjun in the first episode. 99z Songhwa didn’t give up when Ikjun stood her up for her birthday but mustered the courage to confess to him - she tried twice too, asking if he really has to go on that blind date that evening and couldn’t he go another time? Ikjun, in that scene, was playing Sad Sea. 

I would like to apologise to Ep 7 Songhwa because I had been frustrated with her then, but now that everything has been rolled out beautifully, I do not blame her at all for her hesitancy and year long passiveness. Ikjun kinda deserved it after breaking her heart twice (HA!) and remember this shot of Ikjun in Ep 7? 

I now interpret this scene as him realising that he knew Songhwa’s reasons of rejecting him. Because there was no way he didn’t know that Songhwa had liked him in the 99z, and he was perhaps regretting turning her down for dinner that day during his birthday. He knew he had a chance with her then but blew it, and that is perhaps why he never faltered in making Songhwa happy now. Not that he expects anything in return, but perhaps he wanted to make up for the indirect hurt he had caused her.

Bab Meokja had been something initiated by Songhwa back then. And now, it is a treat he gives himself -- I really do think that is the reason why he keeps asking Songhwa out for meals in the present time, because Ikjun probably wanted to indrectly make up for what happened in 99z.

Let’s move on to another great scene! The card game scene!

For some, it may seem to be a random scene but for me, I saw it in a different way and I’m glad Kfans and some users on Twitter pointed out this theory as well. 

As you all know, the card game IkSong was playing was “Bluff/Cheat”. Here, you could see that Ikjun could read Songhwa so well that he knows when she would lie. But Songhwa on the other hand, could not read Ikjun as well -- and this is further affirmed by Songhwa’s confession when she said “If your feelings for me haven’t changed,”. This is beautiful because it makes Ikjun’s expression during the confession scene even more sense -- a user on reddit pointed out that his expression at that time wasn’t more of a “omg she likes me after all”, it was more of a “she has realised her feelings for me,” and I think that’s absolutely beautiful. He even nodded subtlely a few times as Songhwa struggled to get her confession out, as if encouraging her and saying “you can do it, just a bit more”. 

Back to the card game - Ikjun even threw down a 9 Hearts - which I believe is a metaphor of his feelings for her, steady and still unwavering. 

(Bonus note: I absolutely love how Iksun caught on to them being lovey dovey at once and Junwan’s expression catching them was HILARIOUS)

On to my next scene which was absolute favourite.

Songhwa had finished a difficult/challenging surgery, and out of excitement (she even skipped omg whipped girlie), she called Ikjun first to convey the good news to him. Her tone here really depicts a difference in how she talks to Ikjun before. This scene alone tells you that Songhwa has pretty much fallen for Ikjun again and I love love love that finally she has someone she would want to immediately call to share her good news with! 

And the best part? Our best boy Lee Ikjun never went to Changwon. Instead, he waited for her for probably hours (it was bright day when they said goodbye, but night when Songhwa returned to her office) and even told her straight that he has to see her before he leaves because of how worried she had been before. Good lord find me a man like Ikjun please? 

image cr: iksongarchives @ twitter

This entire shot, with I Knew I Love playing in the background pretty much hits. It is in this exact moment that Songhwa has probably made up her mind to confess for real, that she wasn’t going to waste another second because I am sooo sure she would have ran to hug him if not because of their status at that moment. I love this scene so much. It is the personification of the lyrics of I Knew I Love, which goes “I called you out of habit today and you answered warmly, you make me the happiest in the whole wide world, I love you so much”.

And finally. 

Finally.

*takes a deep breath*

SONGHWA CONFESSED!!!!!!!!

AND THEY KISSED!!!! UNDER THE RAIN!!! 

The whole directing of this scene, with the slow camera panning into them - Ikjun was restless, probably breaking into cold sweats (he commented it was cold) while Songhwa was nervous and trying to muster enough courage to confess (she commented it was really hot). I held my breath for so long I felt like I was about to faint I swear to god.

Songhwa looked legit terrified that Ikjun was going to reject her man, and it all makes sense why after we got the 99z flashback this episode. 

And Ikjun, he really waited for her cues. Even after she was done confessing, he looked at her and waited for her to look at him back before he went “I’ll give you my answer”. And it was only after Songhwa nodded in fear and anticipation, that he swooped in to kiss her!!!!!

Songhwa definitely also leaned in first before Ikjun pulled her closer. She wanted this just as much as he did and it showed through their first kiss. Gosh I’m still shaking just thinking about how perfect that entire sequence and kiss was. They really went all out for it (yes I believe there was tongue involved) rather than soft and gentle. 22 years of suppressed yearning and feelings really popped out in that kiss alone and I am so blessed to have been a part of their beautiful journey.

And now, with only one episode left, we are finally able to see IkSong as a couple and on dates. I have a feeling Songhwa would be the clingy gf man, judging from the Preview keke. I cannot wait to see the rest of the boys finding out, and for sure, I cannot wait to see how their dynamics would change now as lovers rather than just best friends. I do think their transition would be seamless, only that now, they get to do what other lovers could.

This post is so long but I felt the need to address another matter that I have seen roaming around the internet. Apparently, some people are annoyed that Songhwa was ‘forced to change her mind’ and that we cannot accept her ‘No’ in ep 1. I would humbly and respectfully disagree on this point. Songhwa’s ‘No’ in ep 1 was not a “I don’t like you therefore I am rejecting you”. It was more of a “I do not know how to sort out my feelings yet, and am not ready to revisit the past, so it is best not to tamper with it”. 

Songhwa did not change her mind overnight or weeks. It took her one year and a few months. She has had all that time to weighs her decisions again and properly thought out how she wanted to bring forward her relationship with Ikjun. She was not forced.

She may have said that she liked being single in S1, but she has never been averse to love. In fact, she is always encouraging other people to go for it. I for one, am single and absolutely enjoying it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to ever change my mind if I find someone worthy enough to share my space and happiness with. I like being single now because guys around me are idiots and I’d rather save myself that headache LOL.

Her conscious decision to accept Ikjun now does not and will never invalidate her decision to reject him back then - in fact, it goes to show that as human beings, we constantly undergo character growth and our minds are often changed to suit the present circumstances. 

ShinLee did not portray Songhwa in that light where ‘women needs to say yes if a guy treats her right’. Ikjun did all of those things for her without expecting anything in return. He never once crossed the line and never once forced Songhwa into accepting his love for her. Songhwa said yes because she likes Ikjun and is now ready to move their relationship to that of romantic. It is as simple as that.

And one last point to make is that Songhwa being in a relationship does not in any way invalidate that she is a strong and independent woman. Please do not associate the relationship status of a woman to her being ‘strong/independent’. A woman in a relationship and a woman not being a relationship are still BOTH strong AND independent. Love is a universal element in life, why deprive a person of it simply because she’s portrayed to be a “strong” female character? If that love brings her greater joy and ardent happiness, why stop her from enriching her life further?

Anyway. I digress. 

If you made it until the end of this ridiculously long post, thank you. I hope it was an enjoyable read! Till Ep 12!

[cthulhubrain]

in more recent news, i finally got around to watching Raising Dion, and it’s heckin wONDERFUL and important aaaaa.

my only worry is the writing so far in season 2 seems to be undoing what season 1 established with its main villain so perfectly (spoilers under the readmore)---

namely, taking away the importance of criticizing ‘nice guy’ type men and their ways of abuse.  From pat’s fucking INTRODUCTION, i had a gut feeling of ‘oh god this is one of those ‘nice guys’ isn’t it. end me now.’ 

but then he tricks you. he lowers your guard by going out of his way to show how devoted to dion he is, to be always available, to reassure ‘oh no i’m totally not like those other guys’.  But if you look carefully, it’s a brilliantly accurate portrayal of ACTUAL ABUSE TACTICS fffffffffffffuck. He always ALWAYS frames everything towards himself, makes everything about himself, and always lets you know what HE’S doing, how much you depend on HIM.  The initial wary expectations i had were stowed away until UNTIL when Nicole told him no and instead of accepting and valuing her as a person and their friendship, he hits the audience with that ‘rejection’ line like THE REDEST OF RED FLAGS. And because i’m used to shit-writin when it comes to women/men relationships/friendships, i cringed and felt gross but chalked it up to writing oversight.

BUT THE BEST PART IS IT WASN’T.

IT WAS THE AUDIENCE’S FINAL TIP-OFF  BEFORE SHIT REALLY HIT THE FAN.

AND IT’S BRILLIANT. AND EVERYTHING MAKES SO MUCH SENSE HOLY SHIT. BEAUTIFUL.

... then season 2 rolls around and pat shows up in human form again (and no one immediately puts an end to him -__-) and starts spoutin off “oh no it wasn’t me, it was the daarkkkk eeeviiiill energy making me a gigantic douchebag that every woman and many feminine-presenting person on the planet has met and has had to put up with, it tooooooootally wasn’t me, i’m totally a good guyyy i’m just a nice guyyyyy.”

and instead of everyone sandbagging him and being like ‘gtfo of here cockwaffle’, the show is treating it as legit.  Which in turn UNDOES EVERYTHING SEASON ONE IMPORTANTLY AND RIGHTFULLY SET UP.

i haven’t finished season 2 yet, so i don’t know if they stick with it, but fuck man am i ever sick and tired of burying responsibility under the rug when it comes to shitty people.

[lostinwoods]

A different take on SessKag relationship or why it would be more realistic than InuKag.

Let me begin with

Sesshomaru's and Kagome's past and how they are similar.

Sesshomaru had always been a very sentimental and emotionally receptive being. He had loved and cherished his dad the most. Loving and competing with him, wanting to surpass him, desiring recognition and acceptance so much so that his entire world revolved around his father. He did not want the swords because they were powerful or the bs about supreme conquest. What is that shit? Sesshomaru never needed that. The swords, especially Tessaiga was the most important acceptance to Sess. I will get back to this later.

Now Kagome. This kid was born and then we never saw her dad even when she was a kid. Another classic case of growing without a dad? Perhaps. But I feel her grandpa filled her missing dad's place. That is why the kid grew up in a lovely household, filled with love and peace and made Kagome what she was later on, a selfless girl who wants to love and protect her friends. Because that is what she learnt. Her grandpa, mom, everyone and her own family dynamics taught her how important it was to cherish the ones she loved.

What they initially thought of Inuyasha in their life

Now back to Sess. When his dad died, he dies saving Izayoi. What is the thing he feels at the time I wondered. Surely devastated? Yes, but even worse. His most important person, his goal, the thing his life revolved around was gone. And for what? To protect a weak, useless bitch like Izayoi? Here is a thing, he never knew Izayoi but knew the hut had collapsed on his dad when Izayoi had escaped. What can a teen feel when they hear such a thing? 'That useless bitch, ran away when my dad was in danger and cost him his life. Fuck that bitch and that kid they made. Useless, all humans are useless and weak.' This was really where his hatred came from. Probably.

Kagome on the other hand from the beginning was shown as a selfless kid, who loved both humans and demons alike. Reason? She had never lived in the feudal era. She was a kid grown in a society where everyone is placed on a equal pedestal. How would she, a modern kid understand the bad blood between demons and humans? If she were ever born in Feudal Japan, would things have changed? Maybe. Then she falls into a world where nothing was similar to where she was from. She was frightened, unsure and confused. And then Inuyasha came into her life. Honestly their first meeting was not romantic and pretty terrific in a sense. That was a weird day for Kagome. She fell into an alien world only heard in fairy tales, got involved in a weird prophecy, learnt she was a mythical sort of being herself and then got attacked by a guy who had saved her only seconds before, all ready to rip her heart out. In such a case, the 'osuwari' was probably a safe word for her. Why she uses it later in the series? Probably because she never trusted Inuyasha and felt more comfortable using a word which gave her power over him. Honestly, what would you expect? Kisses and love showers?

Analysis: Kagome was still scared of Inuyasha for a long time and did not trust him completely.

Before Inu no Taisho's tomb battle

Kagome before this went home and then cane back because she felt that fixing the Shikon was her duty. More honestly, she just returned coz Yura attacked and she wanted her family to be safe. Here I want to take some time to gush over how cool Kagome is. Intelligent, smart and extremely powerful. How she understood that Yura's skull was her weakness and breaks the god forsaken thing with just an arrow. That is some level of OPness. Who says Kags is useless?

Anyways, after that when Inuyasha called her 'Kagome', a lot of the viewers thought that Kagome was ecstatic because it was romantic and she was in love. But that is bs. It is not possible to love someone a week later they tried to gut your heart out. It is masochistic and unreal. Kagome over here felt a sense of acceptance from a guy who she felt previously hated her enough to kill her. And that to Kagome was a sign of friendship and more like, 'don't worry, I am not at least gonna attempt to kill you anymore.'

Kagome, inheritently a person who gives a hand when given a finger. She accepts Inu as her friend and they were far from being lovers.

It is exactly this time that Sess attacks them. And quite cruely might I say. Bringing Inu's dead mom like that was not funny and Sess was an outright jerk for doing that no matter how much he hated Inu and Izayoi. He is all weird and sarcatic at high levels. And Kags hated him. She hated how he was attacking this one friend she had made in the era. She hated how cruel this bastard was and how much pain her friend was going through. And her own lovely bond with her brother did not help her to look into their complex brotherly bond which seemed to her more like some battle royale. She probaably hated the bitch for showing up and hurting her friend like that even when he, being the older brother should have loved his younger brother and nurtured him like she would do for Souta.

For Sess, it was really weird and shitty all over. A basic human bitch, standing behind Inu like she was weak fawn. Reminded him so much of Izayoi. Someone who never even tried saving his dad. That was why his sarcastic words were like, "Inuyasha, it suits you so much to have a human behind you". Ya and he was irritated by looking at how helpless af the bitch was. He was narcisstic, filipant of Kags presence and all around indifferent to a 'weak human filthy woman', who he felt was just like the one for whom his dad died.

Surprise is how he did not outright murder her. Perhaps he felt like they were worthless and beneath his boots.

Lol, these two are the best.

Inside Inu No Taisho's tomb

Kags was really angry with this bitch who just chained her up, clawed a pearl out of her friend's eye and then jumped into a black hole. That is why she followed with, "This sort of a person, with no blood or humanity in his veins, I cannot forgive him" and then she chased. Even Inu was like, WTF bro. It was fun. Then she spouted lines like, " Take the sword Inuyasha, it will be like a hit to his pride, what a shame!"

How tf did she know about how much his pride hurt him. Lol felt like Kags knew Sess more than Inu ever would and they only met. That was some soulmate level shit right there. Lol!

Then there was Sess who was outright dismissing Kags and she was not even a spec of dust in his eyes. Then she went and pulled that sword out. Remember the scene where he was so surprised that he stopped the battle with Inu and turned around and LOOKED. Like really LOOKED. It was such a heart stopping moment and for good measures as well. He saw a girl, a woman standing there, holding an inheritance which was supposed to be his and she did something he could not. Did Tessaiga accept her then, did his father accept her more than him? He was baffled, confused and low-key awed. That was why he said, "What are you?" And legit measured her top to bottom. That was some turning point for Sess. Something that proved to him that all humans cannot be dismissed. But he was in rage. How can a mere human be worthy of Tessaiga and melted her along with that sword. I wonder if it was his second test to see whether Tessaiga would protect her or not. And then it did!

Sess went ape-shit crazy after that. A sword he desired for so long (The sword used to protect Izayoi was a thorn in his heart. Made him feel like his father had chosen a human over him. But if the sword had accepted him, it would have proved that his dad had still loved him, thought of him). That was the significance of Tessaiga to him. Power sure, but more of an acceptance. His dad's acceptance. And then what happened? The sword preferred a human who then gave it to his damned hated brother.

Aftermath of tomb battle

Kagome never really liked Sess's guts and probably had no form of sympathy towards someone like him. On the other hand things picked up with her and Inu's relation. She came to know some facts about Kik. And her inferiority complex began with her incarnate. But having a part of Kik's soul in her, began her obsession with Inu. She strived to understand him, make a better person of himself. But their relation was still not there to lovers.

Then Sess came across Naraku. He probably just wanted to dick around more with Inu and accepted the human hand.

2nd battle for Tessaiga

Sess's desire to possess the Tessaiga had increased at this point. His rage of having his arm cut off by that sword felt like the worst rejection from his dad. He was going insane and might have wanted to kill Inu for real in this fight. He was in no mood for theatrics in this one, unlike the tomb where he actually watched some InuKag drama and even applauded (lol). He was absolute business this time. He snached the sword and showed Inu exactly why he should not get that sword, 'You cannot even make the wind rift, why should you be more worthy?'

He meant to kill Inu and then Kags arrow sailed in, charging with enough power to even cancel the demonic energy filled into the sword by Sess himself.

His thoughts were for the same reason, " She canceled Tessaiga's transformation? Who is this girl?"

His respect scale jumped for her here. He truly had never met anyone who could rival his power to such extent. He had never met a girl who stood so powerfully in face of danger to protect this some half-breed scum. She was like the embodiment of everything he had hoped Izayoi to be to his dad. A strong woman who would wager her life to save the one she holds dear. Sess had learnt this fact from his dad's death. To sacrifice in name of love and then in this fight he understood how much that meant both for Inuyasha and Kagome. He probably somewhat understood what this feeling was after seeing these two.

Sess had an idea of love and protection and Kags became its centre. She was this vague expectation Sess had of human love and an absolute loyalty towards whom you love most. He felt complicated towards her. He respected her.

3rd Tessaiga battle

Sess's most sceptical battle yet. Why break the tessaiga? 'I will break it if I can't have it!' Desperate much?. Then the wind drift appears and for the first time Sess acknowledges Inu. For maybe being a somewhat worthy of having Taisho's blood, only if a little bit. He is saved by Tenseiga. Oh, how he hated this worthless sword more. This sword could not cut throught things and saves his life. What a worthless shit.

Kagome's narrative here was important. "How can he weild the Tenseiga? He needs a compassionate heart for that." Always wondered why Kags was the one to say this. But realised the reason later on.

Rin

Obviously the most controversial topic of Inuverse. What Sess felt for Rin, why was she there.

Rin has often been compared to be the Kagome version of Sess. And that is the only truth. She came in like a ray of sunshine when he was in most need. He was in self doubt, hate towards Inu and complex emotions towards Kags. And then Rin was there with the exact same face and the same warm feeling like Kags. Even he knew what InuKag were to each other then and no matter how much he respected Kags, he was not really interested in a further relation with Kags. But his deeply unsated desire to understand his dad's mentality and reason behind saving a human was what made him think of Rin. As she was his chance to understand that. His chance to understand why his dad could do that, why Inu could do that and why humans like Kags and Rin could save and love demons. It was not romantic in any sense. He had a confusion and Rin was his way towards a solution. Though it was a different fact that he loved her later on and cherished and protected her. Enough to feel that there was no meaning to his anything if she was not there.

So yes in a way, she is Kags embodiment in Sess's life, a picture of Kags selfless love. His desire to truly understand such beings called selfless humans and the result of his single minded belief of human women being trash and unable to love shattering.

And for fun just to contradict Kags speculations, for first time ever, Sess uses the sword and we viewers realise how wrong Kags was. Sess had every bit of compassion in his heart.

Later events

The events went on with Kags finally understanding her position in Inu's life and her single-minded chase to be accepted by Inu as just Kagome and not Kikyo's reflection. I do not even know if this could be called love or just a misinterpreted need of attention from someone you hold dear. But whatever, we realise Kags is in love with Inu now and still cannot stop from feeling compassion towards Kikyo. Honestly she and Sess are truly two opposite sides of a spectrum.

Sess on the other hand gets Tokijin and attacks Inuyasha. This time around, I highly doubt he was still chasing Tessaiga. It had more evolved into his need to show he is more powerful than Inu. 'What you do best, I can do better.'

Stopping Inu from transforming

In this the most debatable question was whether he was there to stop Inu or not.

Sess had wanted to see and experiment the limits of Inu's blood beast.

After some fighting, Kags jumped in. Sess stared at her, like forever. That staring tho. Even when she was like, "Stay away, you idiot." Sess stared. For Sess, that was what he admired the most in Kags. Her selfless devotion. He was staring at that fearless figure who once again surprised him by being a sacrifice to save her loved ones. She was to Sess what he had always thought of 'love' to be. She was the embodiment of the term 'love' to Sess. For a guy who knew nothing of how to define emotions, it was Kags who showed him what love was. And thus he jumped over and over again in front of Rin to protect her. She taught him how to cherish even the even the most weak individual in a group, and thus he protected Jaken.

Rin was there to show him the same thing everyday. But no matter how much Rin showed him her own loyality, love and warmth, Kags always remained that shining beam to him. I will say later on how I understood this.

Kag's love was the validity of his dad's sacrifice. A way for him to make sense of his dad's mindless death over protecting some weak human.

And in this scene for the first time ever, Kags saw Sess as more than an insufferable pest to her friends. She saw his noble ideals and realised why he was there and thus she thought, "Was he here to save Inuyasha?"

It is very curious as to why Kags was again given these lines. It was probably because her opinion mattered, to Sess it did. And we will see more why in the future.

Random encounters

There was one time when Kags saw Rin while Jaken was trying to steal Tessaiga and she had asked herself, "Why is a little human girl traveling with Sess?' It was again a small thing which she did not need to feel but was very imp. for her development towards Sess. How she started to understand him more.

Kohaku incident

Here we saw how was the first time Sess listened to Kags.

Kags opinion mattered. Inu's mattered and when he realised that Kohaku was being used he let him go. There was one reason that he did not want to be used, the next I am sure was for Kags and Inu. He knew then that Kohaku was imp. to them and he stopped. Big character jump for him.

Then the most curious fact was how Kags knew what the girl meant to him, "Please let him go Sesshomaru, the girl is fine."

Kagome: Thanks Sesshomaru!

Sesshomaru: I just never wanted to be used by Naraku and fall into his trap.

Lol...

Then after Rin left, Kags thoughts about how she had left with Sess and was awed . An important point for her change in feelings towards Sess. She understood the guy was changing and Rin was changing him.

The fun fact was how she was instantly in love with this little girl and that would become important later on.

More random events..

After that it was shown that many times Kags was the only one who could stop a fight bet. the brothers. Example that time when he fought with Inu to get some direction for Naraku. And then Kags came and told him to go north or something and he was like, "That is all I wanted to know." And left.

What is to be seen in these parts is how RT made only him and her interact like this. He listening to her like they have been friends forever.

The saving of Kanta's father was also an example of how much she affected him.

Her plea to save Kanta's dad even when no one believed and no one bothered to ask him. Tensaiga moved because he felt deeply moved by her plea. He might have never wanted to voice it but since Tensaiga only worked when the weilder felt compassion and a need to save someone. Sess must have felt it subconsciously and Tensaiga had stired. Or it had stired because it is a SessKag shipper as well. Lol!

Mukotsu

I wonder how Sess knew Kags was in trouble. Another fun fact like how he appears at times when Inu is not there to save Kags. Sess is there. Probably he knew her scent too well and hence could even distinguish between that and the poison. After that was the gruesome death of Mukotsu. The thing to notice over her was how large Sess looked in that hut doorway, it was a symbolism to how big and huge his protective self looks when he is protecting Kagome. A very romantic thing indeed. The first time he protects someone who is not under his protection. A complete selfless act if considered from his pov. Sess being a very private person and while saving Kagome showed her place in his heart. Yeah and that was very visible from how he killed Mukotsu.

The takeaway from this episode is not this though. It was the fact that Kags defended Sess. For the first time ever, all the good deeds she had seen him doing had outplayed her hatred for him. She accepeted him as a friend with these words, "No Inuyasha, he was here to protect us, he saved us." It was a completely unnecessary detail in the whole scheme of this episode but very important for Sess. Her acceptance matters, her opinion matters and Sess is a Tsundere.

Sesshomaru: I did not save YOU, I just killed him coz he did not answer me properly.

This proved how much she affects him, rattles him and how much her life means to him. And an unspoken promise to himself to protect her when Inu was not around.

Fight with Shishinki

No one ever mentions this fight. But there is a very important SK interaction in here. Something which was important for Sess. Kagome's understanding.

When Sess was lost in the same darkness of never being accepted by his dad, Shishinki made things worse by saying Tenseiga was a cast out of Tessaiga and it was given as a leftover to Taisho's least fav. son. Sesshomaru was hurt, lost, and his daddy issues, his biggest weakness was sharply opened by a knife, cruely and Kagome's words saved him.

Kagome: But there might have been a reason their dad had done this.

Kags belief that Taisho had infact not rejected Sess was like a balm to his soul, the only thing he had needed to hear throughout his life. The thing which made him accept in the end that Tensaiga was there to protect Inuyasha, the thing that was needed to sort of activate Tessaiga and then he finally formed his biggest and truest meido. It was romantic, touching and outright heavenly. Then it was made cute with Inu's awkward concern. It was the best ep. as of yet.

Kagome's deep concern and her understanding of Sess's pain was brilliant and alien level insane. She should not have, but she did and that's why they felt more like soulmates.

Battle with Magatsuhi

Sess had gone batshit crazy when Magatsuhi had hurt Kagome and that had only been worsened by him questioning Sess's honor and pride. Sess had turned full on doggy mode and lost control in that way for the first time since the tomb. And the strike at Magatsuhi's eyes was another symbolism of his revenge for doing shit to Kags eyes and mindfucking her.

RT has always thrown these small hints in between IK drama. Which are brilliant and lovely. Even that one scene where he stands protectively inbetween Kags prostrate body on Kilala and Magatsuhi. Beautiful symbolism, really.

It was also fun to see how Kags half power was sealed by Magatsuhi and Sess's half power was returned via Bakusaiga. I felt that Sess's true acceptance of his protection to Kagome and his detachment from Tessaiga was what made him the true daiyokai and surpass his father. Since somehow Tessaiga has always been linked to protecting Kagome and somehow protecting her might have also been the thing to finding Bakusaiga. The desire to protect her perhaps.

Soul mate mind link theatrics

This is something only some people realise. Sesshomaru and Kagome have been shown not once, but twice to be doing this. Once while fighting for Kohaku's life and the last shard and the other in Naraku's body. Kagome and Sesshomaru had been shown to think in absolute synchronisation. He thinks half the sentence, she completes the rest. Absolute soul mate shit.

SessKag power combo

Shown a lot of time in Inuverse. Sess attacks and Kags completes. A small thing but their timing is insane. And is defintely the best power combo, far better than an InuKag combo.

Fight in Naraku's body

This was the time when Sess finally shows what Kagome means to him. Where she stands and how much he cares for her. She is his FIRST priority. Proof? When Rin and she are in simultaneous danger, he stands there infront of Kags for God knows how long, removing those snake things like he had all the time in the world and once she is awake he is concerned about her well being.

Sess: Those wounds, are those Inuyasha's doing?

And his disappointment in Inuyasha not being able to protect Kags.

Sess: As expected of a half-demon. He lost himself in the bloodlust.

Kags obviously considered Sess to be a friend at this point. A very close friend at that. Family perhaps? Their familiarity here was not missed by anyone. Her defending Inu and then still prioritising Rin over Inu were only somethings we realised this chapter.

The most important was her belief in him.

Manga exclusive,

Kags: I believe that you would be able to do it. Do not fall into Naraku's trap and play his cards that is what he wants. Only you can do this, I know.

Wow, Kags wow...just wow... It is the best actually. She does not believe Inu in this situation but she does Sess. She believes in his protection and she knows her influence on him. This speaks volumes. This shows her unreal connection to him and how they match each other instinctively.

Sess knows her influence. This is his weakness.

The mokomoko scene was truly Sesshomaru's best confession. For him who cannot say much in words, allowed her to fly on mokomoko. Something which everyone of us know has a heavy weightage for Sesshomaru. It is his weapon, his forever companion and his support when he is injured and tired. Offering such a thing to her for whatever reason was truly his way of showing what he exactly feels for her. He cherishes her the most and I could say even more than Rin. Trusts her the most and would jump in front of danger to protect her.

Which is only seen more when he asks her to stay away from the fight because she would be a 'hinderance'. Which means he could not fight if she is in the middle. He would be vulnerable and weak. Intersting, very interesting. Another time where he stood between her and a dangerous blood beast that Inu had become.

The best part was truly him getting concerned when she fell down from the top while removing Tessaiga and then when Magatsuhi tried to possess her.

His anger was so vibrant. "Get away from her!"

What a brilliant thing to say. The possessiveness. The will to protect her. The absolute anger. Brilliant. So much was spoken in those lines.

The best ending though was the SessKag power combo of Bakusaiga and holy arrow. Best ending. Inu was not even much involved in ending Naraku. It was weird how the titular character failed in finishing the main villain with his meido. Shows a lot what SessKag meant to RT.

Big brother

Yes, the iconic scene where fans of all ships shout out that SK is not a romantic ship.

Well over here I want to say that Kagome truly saw Sess as a big brother figure at this point. Part of it was because she still felt that she was in love with Inu and part because she was not receptive to her reactions to Sess and what he truly meant to her at this point. She feels an intimate connection to him but cannot justify the weirdness because she still feels a closeness to Inu so she thinks of him as big brother. Which was a very intimate thing for Kagome to say. She loves him like family and clearly places him higher than the rest of her friends only second to Inu. That was more of a declaring her closeness to Sess rather than a confirmation of her and Inu's relationship. Kags is not a vain character who does things coz they are convinient. She would not call a friend if they are not a friend. And certainly not a big brother if she does not feel so.

Sess actually was relieved, ecsatatic and happy when Jaken informed hin of Kags arrival as was seen in his expression. Very funny actually. Because next second he was called big brother and he was hilariously ticked off. He could not believe what he was being called. Lol that interaction though. It showed how close they ended up being. Even more close than he was to his own brother.

But he accepted the title even if with much pain in his neck and then was really offended when Jaken badmouthed Kagome.

Conclusion: No one badmouths Kagome.

Haaha....end of this long analysis. I tried to analyse it from the character's pov and found some interesting small tidbits and detail that RT had hidden in this story.

Thus I felt that SK would be a more natural ship maybe not outright. Since Sess loves her truly but does not understand the nature of the relation and Kags is still too much blinded by Inu filter a.t.m. Maybe given years when Kags will realise exactly what sort of love she feels for Inu. Which will happen because such a toxic relation like IK should not exist and then she will probably see Sess's love for her.

My Conclusion: SK is a defintive. It will happen with some time and care. When both would mature. But it will happen for sure. All the ingredients are there, the stage has been set just the players have to realise what they feel for each other.

[lyallblacklupin]

It’s just Remus Lupin! (part 2)

The sun had risen and Sirius felt someone sitting on his bed. His neck was aching following with throbbing in his temples. He was struggling to open his heavy eyelid until he heard voices.

“Why don’t you talk to him right now after he wakes up?” That was James’ voice.

“No way! And after what he had told me? And now I have totally made everything awkward between us. I’m so stupid, Prongs!” Remus’ voice sounded so new, squeaky and very much worried.

“Yeah, there is no doubt. You are the mother of stupidity. But look at his face. He must’ve cried all the night. So peaky! He needs breakfast before he faints.”

Typical Potter, the mother-hen of the group.

“I’ve never seen him crying like last night.” Remus whispered.

Sirius’ heartbeat quickened as he felt a very familiar hand brushing against his. Remus’ warmth was all he yearned for. Then after a while, Sirius finally opened his eyes to see three heads hovering on him. James, Peter and Remus were gawking at him as if he were some sort of new creature they had discovered.

“How are you?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, I’m great.” Sirius struggled to sit up, propping on his elbows. He felt so tired.

“Well, do you wanna talk about it?” James asked, gesturing to the crumpled ball of parchment at his nightstand. Sirius distinctly recalled throwing it on the floor. Someone of the three had read it and put it back in its previous form. He nervously glanced at Remus who was looking at the floor, deeply engrossed in his thoughts. He felt a surge of unjust anger for him.

“Not really...” He answered.

“You know we are here for you.” James insisted.

“I know, Prongs, you are.” He didn’t expect himself to come out too bitterly, which made everyone in the room uncomfortable.

“Me too, Pads, and Moony here” Peter started but Remus interrupted.

“Wormy, what Sirius really need is breakfast so...”

“How do you know what I need?” Sirius suddenly snapped. He was hating how Remus was being this figure who tells people what they should be, or do, but then he was regretting his tone when he saw Remus wearing pained expressions, while James and Peter were becoming tensed. “Aye, you know what, just leave me alone. I don’t need breakfast.” Sirius said dejectedly, “its weekend and I would really wanna have myself for a while...”

Everybody sauntered towards the door and Sirius buried his head in his hands. He didn’t want to be a burden to his friends. They were his only family. No matter how awkward Peter could be, no matter how painfully lovely Remus could be or how irritatingly caring James could be, They were all a very essential part of his life, something he could not afford to lose. And now he was gradually losing one by one. Remus was lost, James was halfway there because telling him that he was gay would be disgusting enough for him and Peter to leave.

The door clicked shut but Sirius realized that he was not alone yet. He lifted his head up to see James Potter standing against the doorframe, smiling weakly at him.

“I’m not leaving you alone after you’ve cried literally like a baby, Padfoot. A legit baby.” He walked towards Sirius who let out a chuckle. “Padfoot?”

“Yeah?” Sirius looked into his hazel eyes, staring at him very intently.

“Moony told me.”

Sirius felt his entire body went numb.

“And...Sirius....”

Why are you gay? What is the matter with you? I can’t be friends with you anymore!

“...Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sirius jerked up his head with wide eyes and mouth. What?

“What?”

“I mean-I thought we share everything...is there something that I did to make you uncomfortable or-“

“James...no...You can never do something wrong...” He was at a loss of words. He didn’t expect this response. “You don’t disgust me?”

“Why? Did you pick your nose and eat it?”

“Ew! No Prongs!” Sirius scrunched his nose halfheartedly while a smile desperately wanting to settle on his lips. James was being James Fucking Potter, his supportive non-biological brother and a caring prat.

“Then, there’s no reason for me to disgust you, Sirius.” James gazed him earnestly.  He felt tears stinging in his eyes.

“Wha-Padfoot!?” James exclaimed at the sight of Sirius whose face was crumpled and was practically weeping silently. “Look at that! A baby! Legit baby!” James crawled on Sirius’ side and wrapped his arms around him, cackling affectionately.

They finally came down to grab buttered toasts from the kitchen as they ran to their first lesson of the day. The time crawled down like as if it were a turtle. Sirius wanted to bang his head against the nearby wall because it was becoming unbearable to be in the same class where Remus Lupin was. It was quite a hard truth to digest and that was Remus and Sirius becoming distant. They used to be glued against each other, and Sirius used to enjoy that one-sided intimacy, but now they were miles away from each other and Sirius was touch-starved. Well actually, this was Remus’ touch starvation.

“I think I’m gonna be sick!” He rested his head against the wall by the Great Hall entrance as he and James were waiting for the rest of the Marauders to gather for lunch.

“Hey! Snap out of it!” James blurted out, “Don’t let your emotions have power over you-“

“That’s what Moony said.”

“Then listen to him, for his sake! I know you’re falling for him and you think that he didn’t return the feelings—“

“I think?” Sirius glared at him, “He clearly rejected me!”

“He didn’t reject you! He is just being Moony! You know how he is, always self-deprecating, and not to mention, being affirmative that he doesn’t deserve anything good. That’s why he asked you if you were sure. I mean, I’m not defending him because of course, you are not supposed to say that when someone tells you that they love you, but Pads, I don’t think he is entirely unreasonable here. You have messed around with a lot of girls while he never got one. He is conflicted between being worthy enough to be with you, and making sure he doesn’t get a heart break from you of all people. All that matters to him, is your friendship. He is not judging you, he just doesn’t trust himself.”

Sirius knew that each and every word of James was right. It was a little hurting but true. He didn’t know what to say so he remained silent. He clearly had a bad reputation of having two-days relationships so, of course, Moony was doubting him reasonably.

Peter and Remus had joined the two of them and now the four of them were eating shepherd’s pie in their lunch. Sirius suddenly lost his appetite when his eyes found Remus, sitting between Peter and Frank, playing with his food while staring into nothingness. His heart clenched to see him like this. Remus’ eyes searched to find Sirius’ which were already staring back. Sirius quickly looked away.

There were these mixed feelings surrounding Sirius’ mind. He didn’t want NOT to be around Remus but every time he looked at those sad amber eyes, he wanted to kiss the pain away but then he was reminded that he had confessed and failed. Remus didn’t even come to him to clarify. If he really felt the same, he could’ve cornered Sirius to communicate.

The Marauders spent the rest of the day mostly in the library for the completion of Transfiguration Essay that was supposed to be 3 foot long, and Slughorn had given them homework to write the functions and ingredients of Felix Felicis potion for the gain of extra credit.

James was scribbling lazily on the top of his journal, it was distinct to see that he was drawing a snitch of L.E written on it. While Peter was drooling over the girl two tables away from them, and Sirius was casting quick glances at Remus who was so engrossed in reading a book with no title. It seemed to be a vintage journal and he had his eyes locked with it as though no power on earth can lift up his attention.

“Mooooony...I’m tired...” James spoke but Sirius knew that Remus wasn’t going to respond until his book is finished.

It was already evening and they hadn’t found any opportunity to be alone. Apparently, Remus hadn’t sought a chance to get Sirius alone because he had done his part but clearly Remus was not trying.

Sirius snapped his hand on the table and stormed out of the library, ignoring the glare from Madam Pince. He sprinted to the Gryffindor Tower and found the common room empty. He sat there alone with his thoughts.

He knew that Remus never dated anyone because of his furry little problem, while Sirius did date a lot including Marlene McKinnon before she realized that she was falling for Dorcas Meadows. Sirius had helped her without feeling bad for being dumped on the Yule Ball as her date. After when Remus had known that Sirius had no one to dance with, he led Sirius in the empty common room and waltzed around on Never Let me Go by Judy Bridgewater.

“So you’d rather dance with a person who is moping that he got dumped on the ball, than with the most beautiful woman on the earth.” Sirius had asked him.

“Padfoot, you are the most beautiful woman on the earth.” Remus had replied him which had made both of them laugh manically, stumbling over each other.

And then he had known that he would never let this man go from his life. Since that beautiful night filled with laughter and lot of dancing alone and drinking, Sirius had never stopped looking at Remus so longingly.

He sighed as the Gryffindor students flooded in the common room, back from the feast. Before he could be seen by his friends, he climbed up to his dormitory. He shut the door behind him and sunk into his bed.

The door swung open, and Shit! Sirius didn’t shut his curtains. He didn’t need to turn to look who came in because it was quite a decent and silent walk of someone, rather than being noisy like James and Peter.

“Hey.” Remus’ voice was as calm and pure as his soul.

“Hi.” He still had his back to Remus and was staring at the window.

“What? Now we won’t talk to each other?” The same sweet voice spoke rather sadly. Sirius reluctantly turned to face him because he couldn’t hurt him.

“Uh... no it’s not like that. Uh, how are you?”

Remus opened his mouth and then shut it quickly, narrowing his eyes, becoming very interested in the floor, as though calculating his words.

“I...” He glanced at Sirius’ eyes, “I’m sorry, Padfoot-“

Sirius felt his stomach twist.

“Look, Remus, you don’t have to apologize-“

“But I do! For-“

“Remus, it’s okay! Please!” Sirius didn’t realize he had shouted those words until he saw Remus’ distraught eyes, glistening with tears in it. “I mean, I shouldn’t expect anything from you, and to be honest I didn’t but it just hurts! We can forget about all of it and go back being friends because-“

“Would you be able to do that?” Remus’ voice was shaky, and Sirius felt a shiver ran down his spine. “You know what, I don’t regret for what I was sorry for earlier. For asking you if you were sure about what you said to me last night.”

What?

“What did you say to me?” Sirius had to pull himself from punching Remus’ beautiful face because Fuck you, Remus Lupin! You are the best cruel person in the world!

“You heard me! Sounds like you don’t love me enough just like I doubted! Because if you did you wouldn’t  be a coward to walk away from my life so easily! Would be that easy for you to forget everything!?”

A MILLION TIMES HARDER!! The word ‘easy’ was no near to this situation Sirius was dealing with. However, as much as he was taken aback by the challenging voice of the other boy, he knew deep down inside his heart that he was, again, reasonable.

He also wanted to retaliate but what came out from Sirius’ mouth was a whimper, and before he knew it he was sobbing on the floor.

Remus was immediately holding him by his torso from his behind, but a little more intimately, Sirius could tell.

“Don’t walk away, I can’t imagine my life without you.” Remus nuzzled his face in Sirius’ hair and continued whispering in his ear, “Please don’t become a stranger before hearing everything. I am going to keep my promise. I promised you I’d help you, I will, Sirius, I will.” Sirius felt a light brush of lips on his temple and it made him want to cry more, but in less pain.

Sirius turned to face Remus who looked so sad, yet radiant than the last time he saw him. It was something about him that made him look prettier every new second to Sirius.

“Do you really love me? Me?” Remus came closer to him, almost sitting on his lap.

Sirius’ heart broke a little at the tone. Why that was even a question? Doesn’t he deserve to be loved? There is no doubt in loving my Moony. He is the loveliest person in my life!

He leaned closer to him and stopped when he was an inch away. Remus was burning scarlet and it seemed that he had held his breath. Sirius was gazing into him very closely, examining every scar on his face. He touched the one on the bridge of his nose and he felt the other boy shivered. Remus was not moving anywhere farther, neither coming closer. Sirius was lost in the strange beauty of him. He was tracing every feature of him and it was becoming difficult to breathe in the heat of the moment.

“With every inch of my heart.”

But Remus shook his head, tears spilling from the brims as he whimpered, “I don’t deserve it.”

And it broke Sirius’ heart into million pieces. He held his wet face in the cup of his hands.

“It’s not true, Moony-oh Moony…”

Sirius embraced him and Remus slumped into his arms. He sincerely loved him. Loved every inch of him. He had waited for so long. Remus’ heart was beating furiously that Sirius could tell by the thudding in his ears. Remus broke into a sweet chortle between his tears and sniffing, and he looked adorable.

“I especially don’t deserve the love of my favorite person in the world.”

“Hope you are talking about me?” Sirius still had him in his arms, his head resting on his shoulders.

Sirius was anxious for Remus’ response, but he also wanted to be patient this time. He was not going to presume the situation wrongly this time.

To Sirius’ surprise, Remus was unstoppably weeping and he knew that those were happy tears because he was laughing merrily and struggling to stop the river streaming from his eyes. Sirius’ right hand were completely damp as it was still there, holding his jaws and his thumb was tracing his cheek while his fingers travelling to nape from his ear, back and forth.

Remus finally spoke, “I’m sorry for this unexpected...pool of tears...”

But Sirius wiped his tears, shaking his head to gesture that he didn’t mind.

“Sirius?”

“Hmm?”

“I do love you, too.” Remus’ breath was hot against his neck.

“Moony, you don’t have to-“

“No, you won’t interrupt me, Sirius Black, because I’m not letting us get ruined by your stupid pessimism!”

Sirius tried to hide his grin because there was the Remus Lupin he loved; the one who made him silent and flustered. He led him to the most corner of their dorm by window and they both sat on their wooden floor. The room was dark but the moonlight emitted faintly.

“You don’t know…” Remus murmured in a despaired voice.

He could sense that Remus was struggling with expressing his feelings. Sirius had known Remus from ages and he was familiar with that some nasty emotions laid beneath the deadpanned face. For instance, if there was rage sweeping inside of Remus, it would be hard to figure out what was going behind that serene face. And Sirius would be damned if he didn’t give him a chance to relax and explain his heart out. He squeezed Remus’ hand and smiled encouragingly.

“Hey, I’m here. I’ve got all night for you. Tell me everything, everything that is in your mind. I’ll listen to you this time and stop being prick like before.”

Remus exhaled a sigh of relief, easing his shoulders.

“I had been there. Just like you, when I was struggling through it since third year. And I knew the night you were there for me on my worst full moon. I never told any of you about that. On that night my full moon was worse because the three of you knew about me and i feared that one of you might let slip of my condition to anyone in the school. That fear worsened my condition. But after my transformation I found you outside the Whomping Willow, you were there for me even rather than being disgusted with me-“

Sirius opened his mouth to protest but Remus held his hand up to let him finish what he wanted to say.

“Pads, you didn’t hesitate to see me in blood and wounds. You cured me even you hardly knew any healing spells.” Remus chuckled and Sirius blushed.

“Every full moon, you held me. The comfort always came with you when I was resting in your arms but it was not same when James held me. I didn’t want to be rude but one day I was this close to tell James off and bring you instead!

“I convinced myself in the fourth year that they were just desperate stupid desires for having someone’s attention because you and I have had this bond, you know...but now I have this urge to be around you to just know if you’re doing fine. Every summer, none of my night went by not thinking about you, worrying about you for how your family was treating you. I can’t see your sad eyes.” He paused to look down at Sirius’ hand and then added, “Sirius, I’m weak. Much vulnerable as a lycanthrope, but if you’ll have me, I’ll always protect you.

Sirius thought he had never felt such fathomless influx of love for someone until now, and it was like his heart was singing Remus like a mantra.

“I never thought you’d like me in that way. And yesterday night in the common room you told me that you were falling in love with me, I couldn’t believe my luck. I thought it was universe playing tricks on me-and I just couldn’t say the right words, Sirius. I’m sorry I made you feel that I rejected you. God, I can never reject you.”

Sirius stared him so tranquilly, a smile lingering on his face. He stayed quiet for Remus to let out every single thing from his heart. This was a new Remus Lupin he was looking at. Someone, who never displayed his emotions, was now pouring his heart out to him. Sirius was starting to feel special.

After a brief silence and gazing into each other’s eyes, Remus stood, propping up on his knees and leaned towards Sirius, holding his face in his hands. Sirius thought, he was going to melt into a puddle.

“And tonight, in this very moment, I wholeheartedly confess that I’ve been in love with you and I’ll always love you, no matter what.”

Sirius thought that his heart would burst and before he could’ve processed those words and depict his next move, Remus had pressed his lips against his into a very passionate kiss that almost took him by surprise. He snaked his arms up to Remus ribcage, reaching to grasp his shoulders as he sunk into the kiss. It was like being intoxicated under those lips which were soft like silk.

They broke apart a little to catch their breaths.

“Merlin, I just kissed Remus Lupin.”

They suddenly laughed into each other’s mouths, pressing their foreheads together.

“Yeah, just Remus Lupin.” Remus smiled weakly at him and Sirius sprang on his feet, holding out his hand.

“Come here.” And Remus did. He seized his hand and they stood before each other. “Listen to me, before you let out that trash talk, you are not what you think you are. You are so much more than that. You have a very good heart inside that chest. I fell in love with that heart right there.” He poked his index finger on his chest where his heart thumped steadily. “You understand? And besides, you’re my Moony. Mine. I’ll always be there for you. I love taking care of you, it’s my favorite hobby.”

Sirius saw Remus blushing and smiling at the same time as he was looking down, and Sirius seized him by his arms and leaned to kiss him on his eyelid.

“I love you, Sirius Black.” Remus whispered.

“Seriously, Moony, I thought you had better taste in men.”

And in return he got a kick in his shin, which led to hitting each other, laughing and running in the dormitory. One chasing after other until they fell on the bed against each other, panting and kissing as if their life depended on it.

“I love you too, Moony, So much.” Sirius held him earnestly as he closed his eyes, savoring the warmth of Remus lying on his body.

Yep, just this beautiful boy on my chest, listening to my heartbeat like a simp! Just Remus Lupin, just the boy I love.

Part 1.

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR 

Ok y’all if you thought 18x05 was long, you in for a trip. Get ready for lots of caps, lots of not PG-13, and lots of overanalysis. I hope this lives up to the hype since it took me forever and a day (literally almost every minute of the 20 minutes of scenes took practically an hour to breakdown, I have a problem I know). Anyways, let’s get sweaty under the cut because the day ain’t young no more 👇🏼

Their bickering in the car but Nick smiling the whole time is a huge married vibe but also he’s so happy she’s alive and will take any shit she gives him vibe and I’m here for it. Pluuuuus Ellie avoiding nicks question about the phone call 😭 he’s so freaking concerned for her (he’s been through his own version of PTSD), his voice drops all the teasing and he actually opens up a little bit - really wants to make sure she’s ok. He needs to be there for her and ugh poor Ellie, those walls are going back up after that hug- a momentary lapse in her usual self. She’s so far outside of her comfort zone talking about feelings and weaknesses and she immediately deflects. Nick respecting that deflection is also huge growth for him, knows it’s not ok to push through like a person like him would normally do and force her hand. He knows she needs space but also clearly ready to be that ear to listen or shoulder to cry on whenever she needs it.

His joke about notable mustaches only to be the butt of the joke about using the word notable later is hiiiiiilarious. 

Her comment about Zillow 😂 um excuse me ellie you looking for houses and to settle down 👀 but then(!!) Nick pushes her down the stairs first when shots start, getting her out of harm’s way and putting himself in danger like he always does my heart 😩 like he’s still on the stairs by the time she’s in a cell “safe.” And side note damn they are good shots, oof. 

The toilet bowl scene is easily one of my favorites. Nick freaking out over Ellie moving hers and him not being able to had me DYING. Like legit cackling over his worry she’s suddenly way stronger than him 🤣🤣 and then he gets SO pissed they took their car hahaha like so mad he hugs the damn wall in frustration. But then he claims he’ll rip out the bars of the window (you know, to make up for not being able to move his toilet and still prove he’s macho) and Ellie’s comment about superhuman strength & his agreement LOL. His anxiety level of being trapped and more so Ellie being trapped is getting to him already. He is reaching for any possible way to get them (read: her) out of there safely it doesn’t matter that the plan sounds outrageous. Cue him moving back to pissed and breaking the toilet with his damn foot like 🥵 we get you strong Nick but no need to show off. Hot damn. His “I really think we’re stuck in here” after that IDK why but had be laughing again. I’m pretty sure I said “no shit Sherlock” at my TV watching live because thank you Captain Obvious. 

Aaaaaand then when she pauses and finds the bomb bricks but goes so quiet oooooof he’s on high alert. You can practically hear his heart pounding and then he goes and starts panicking slightly when she doesn’t respond with our first use of a first name, “Ellie we have a wall between us, what is it?” But his tone is so frantic and his eyes are darting around putting the whole picture together and my heart aches for him. He’s starting to realize just how helpless he is to save her. The exact thing he likely swore he’d set out to never let happen again (Ellie in danger) after last episode, is happening again. And this time, it’s not like he can go hunt the guys down, he’s quite literally stuck. Helpless with no way out. Aaand here’s where Nick starts to lose his patience. Pissed at himself for not saving her before, not being able to save her now. Pissed at everything. He cannot comprehend how she is in this situation AGAIN and he can do nothing. But oh lord, he doesn’t even realize it’s about to get worse...

Him brooding over this crappy situation in a corner and being the cautious one is so unlike him (but also so telling as to how unnerved he is by her being in danger once again and not wanting to do anything to make it worse) and Ellie calls him on being “so careful, cowboy” and hot damn again she really does like a man in uniform doesn’t she??? 👀🔥 and she not picky on the type of uniform either 😏 but Nick immediately deflects because he’s not *quite* ready to talk feelings so let’s get down to business about counting bullets BUT the second Ellie starts to worry again he goes into hyperdrive protective and caring boyfriend partner. Without hesitation he tells her they’re going to figure it out because goddamnit he HAS to figure this out for her. He can’t fail, again. And he’s so so SO worried about her & her mental health right now and I sincerely love it. I know Ellie doesn’t want to have that conversation but I stan (I can’t believe I’m using that word, I’m not hip enough for that word) an empathetic boyfriend who supports their significant other when facing mental health issues (like PTSD in Ellie’s case) ❤️❤️❤️ Nick breaks my heart, he wants to be there for her- wants to be the one she feels comfortable enough to open up to and he just gets so dejected when she rejects his probing again (but I don’t blame her, it’s *hard* to open up about these difficult topics), his body language slumped over the bars and tone is just so defeated even if he tries to snap back into his usual Torres self (newsflash it ain’t working bruv because she’s not totally wrong in calling you hovery). Yet naturally he gets annoyed because he JUST CARES ELLIE DAMMIT LET HIM CARE. Like you go through this entire list of him trying to protect you from everything that could go wrong because HE CARES. HE WAS TERRIFIED HE LOST YOU ELLIE. HE TRULY THOUGHT HE’D NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN. NEVER TOUCH YOU AGAIN. NEVER TELL YOU HE LOVES YOU. HE CARES. AND HE CANT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO YOU AGAIN. HE LITERALLY WANTS TO SAVE YOU (his own words because god damn this show plays with my emotions 😭😭) FROM ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE COULDN’T SAVE YOU FROM GETTING KIDNAPPED AND HAVING TO FIGHT YOUR WAY OUT OF A PLANE RIGGED TO BLOW. Ok done with yelling for now but man this part gets me. The implications are so important even over trivial stuff. He felt helpless and Nick Torres cannot do helpless, so he tries do to everything else in his power to keep her away from any danger no matter how little it seems. Even hot coffee is too much for his precious babe and while he knows she’s not some delicate, fragile flower- he knows she can hold her own (& has called her a badass as proof), his heart can’t possibly take another explosion on an airstrip. Even if that airstrip is something like a burnt tongue. Ok I die now 😩😩😩

But let’s come back to living because this bullshit Nick “I always tell you what’s going on with me...you ask I tell you” exCUSE ME. Is this the same man who claimed he was being overprotective and that Ellie was like a sister to him?!???!! Yeah, I call bullSHIT that you tell Ellie what’s going on with you. (And Ellie calls BS too, btw buddy). 

But when Ellie finally decides to open a little I love it. I think she finally understood at least just a bit that he just, simply cares about her & her well-being. So she gives him a tiny taste of what she’s going through. And god Nick’s face when he understands the gravity of what she’s having to face mentally. Like I know he knew but I don’t think he knew just how bad. And you can just see that hatred towards his perceived failure turning inward once again as the mood shifts in these cells to somber. Plus Ellies last comment here with them *needing* to find a way out of there- girrrrrrrl poor baby girl 😭 she’s struggling so hard right now and trying so hard to not let it show and not let it get to her but you know she’s terrified. You know she’s desperately triggered. UGH Ellie 💔💔

We cut to Ellie desperately trying to figure out a solution to getting the fuck outta there and once again my heart aches for her triggered self. Nick seems desolate and frustrated, shutting down slowly as it seems less and less likely they’ll get out. Buuuuut then the GUM. Ahahahahahah Ellieeeeeee how do you know about that last piece of gum for “breath emergencies”??? AHHHH this man’s jeans are so damn tight (& yes trust me I would know, I observe) but like also you staring at a spot on said tight jeans that’s only maybe five inches from a different outline 👀👀👀 GIRL I FEEL YOUUUU. GET. IT. Plus she knows exactly what he calls it and I freaking love that. His excuse for why he has to save it is also hilarious 🤣 his breath emergency later hmmm doubt you wanted to save it to MacGyver something Nick sooooo you got another thing in mind?? 😏 and then LMAO it’s mushy because his pants are sweaty I’m rolllllling. Your pants too tight Nick? (this is not humanly possible btw) ALSO is this why later Ellie says she expected Nick to be more sweaty??? If it is and now rewatching I kind of feel like it is, omg what a great callback on her part 🤣🤣

Nick trying to coach her on the proper way of opening the cell door is hilarious because bitch which one of you was able to move their toilet Nick 👀😂 but oh damn now it’s when shit goes downhill fast. 

Nick not being able to see anything and his frantic questioning is amazing compared to Ellies absolute panic realizing she is once again facing down a bomb. I feel like her calming breaths are a coping technique Jack has been helping her with but man kill me now, Nick’s face?? When he realizes what he thought was helplessness earlier has just shot yo exponentially??? Oof with a capital O. This poor man needs a damn drink and yet all he can have is a club soda boy I *feel you* on that (side note #letsgetthisbabyoutmybellyasap). His woman has gone and gotten herself into another bomb encounter for the second time in a week. And he CANT DO A DAMN THING ABOUT IT. Can you imagine the absolute inner (and outer, give it a sec) freak out he’s having?? He wants to save her from hot coffee for Christ’s sake and now he can’t save her from a rigged bomb. Talk about a shitty situation. 

I just love the Torres Teachable Moment little discussion. Like Nick���s smirk gets me. I really don’t think he knew she had a name for it or realized that she caught on to what he was doing (trying to help her grow as an agent without being obvious or “degrading”). And then we move on to comparing arm length and I crack up 😂 “my arms are longer than yours” and “no they’re disproportionately short for your body” HAHAHA like what the hell have you guys been doing to know this?? Do you stand *that* close together with your arms down to know their lengths comparatively and how much do you stare at Nick, Ellie? Daaaaaaamn. From his gum to his arms to his body I see you 👀 I’m not hating tho I would too 😏 I think what I loved most about this whole jail scene (aside the ending obvs) is the quick flipping back and  forth from joking & teasing to dead serious & worried. Like they’re both trying so hard to keep it above board and light- trying desperately not to think of the implications of what’s happening but then (usually Nick) those intrusive thoughts sneak through and he can’t help but redirect them back to serious. It shows their inner warrings with themselves and just how hard this is for both of them. How much they want to appear strong and unflappable but they both know deep down the whole situation is eating away at them. And Nick bringing up her standing on a bomb only moments before he tells her he’s going to shoot the wall- OOF. Ellie’s genuine terror for him injuring himself and her then not being able to do a damn thing about it because she’s standing on a FREAKING BOMB is so painful to watch. Like she’s stuttering she can’t get it out fast enough, she needs to stop him, she can’t fathom him getting hurt while she’s helpless (uh, hello there theme of the episode how have you been). Nick’s facial expressions through this scene are also so telling. He goes from “this isn’t a big deal” to “oh shit she’s panicking” to “holy shit is she going to open up, is she really talking about this” to “fuck it’s my fault she had to go through that and it’s tearing me up inside every second” to “hooooooly fuck is she about to say what I think she’s about to say?? Is she about to confirm what I know deep inside but am too afraid to say aloud?? Is it true??” And ELLIE OH ELLIE. Reliving that *has* to be hard, has to. To finally bring it up after she’s been dodging it all damn day...you know the thought of him getting seriously injured had her more than rattled. And she cracks open those cement walls around her heart so briefly, the glimpse in it provides I think a turning point for Nick. Finally seeing that it’s not just him, she’s in deep too. Even if she can’t say it, can’t say she was fighting to see him again 😩💔 he knows. She says he only has one bullet left and to save it and they’ll figure some other way with tears in her eyes my HEART. But Nick gets it. Nick gets it because he’s been in the exact same situation. His eyes as they process the implication of her words and the fear for his life running through them 🥺 his simple “ok” is so unlike his normal self, you just know he’s once again doing anything and everything he can for. Even if that means standing down and not fighting for his way (the natural instinct for him). He knows what she needs is reassurance he won’t accidentally shoot himself. So he does it 😭 But him pacing (as a man of action suddenly faced with forced inaction) & Ellie begging for an inventory over and over (a woman of logics and data faced with PTSD) is so painful. You can tell they’re both struggling and neither wants to admit it but also they both need to do something - for Nick that becomes finally deciding to shoot a foothold in the wall and for Ellie that meant trying to go over their facts again and again but suddenly she’s once again terrified Nick is going to injure himself. The one man she fought to see again might hurt or even kill himself and she can’t do a damn thing because she’s standing on a bomb for fuck’s sake. Aaaaaaand cue the blow up. Cue Nick voicing his worst fears of Ellie accidentally triggering the bomb. Cue Ellie getting defensive because she’s so damn used to be babied and treated like she can’t take care of herself. Cue the “overprotective hovery man crap” line that had me rolling on the floor (tbt ROFL). Cue Ellie calling herself a girl but Nick calling her a woman like DAMN get me where it hurts Nick- that right there is a man who respects the living hell out of this fiiiiiiine representation of a woman in front of him 🔥. Cue Ellie saying because I’m “me” like um FUCK YES IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE YOU AND HE’S TOO SCARED OF LOSING YOU ELLIE. Cue Nick finally losing his shit and getting reeeeeealllllllll like hallelujah do you hear the church bells?! Even Ellie knows to finally pause and listen. Nick never loses it on her, never. She knows this shift is serious and it’s happening. And omg his confession can I just have a moment of silence for the GROWTH.

Thank you, it needed commemorating. The same Nick who didn’t belong to a team is the Nick that is out here claiming he can’t sit idly by while the love of his life might get blown up again. He’s NOT OKAY WITH THAT AND NEITHER AM I. NOT AFTER THIS GODDAMN SCENE. His head bob accentuating just- how- important this is to him is so in character (thank you Wilmer) and theeeeeeen shoot me the way he has to fucking collect himself from almost crying. The emotion- there just aren’t words. Literally he has to look up to the sky and blink back those tears you know are threatening to fall at the thought of the woman who he still *technically* hasn’t told that he loves her could potentially die, again, for the second time in a week. So guess the hell what? He’s telling her (sort of). He’s telling her he would do anything, anything, put himself in danger’s way if it meant there was even the tiniest chance it would save her. Pardon the callback but- HE WOULD RISK HIS LIFE TO SAVE HERS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER ELLIE. YOU SAID I KNOW. DO YOU KNOW NOW. DO YOU. BECAUSE GOOD LORD CAN YOU MARRY THIS MAN ALREADY BEFORE I DIVORCE MY HUSBAND AND DO IT (jk love you honey 😘). But like damn, she knows it now. That look- she bites her lip and has tears in her own eyes at the realness she can feel even through a cement block wall. It’s a feeling she’s not used to. She isn’t used to being a person someone would literally risk death for. She doesn’t think she deserves it (sip on that like whiskey, mull it over, let it sink in & cry about it). Even if she knows she doesn’t need saving (and so does Nick), she finally realizes it isn’t about that. It isn’t about he feels like she can’t do it. It’s about the overwhelming pull that your life isn’t greater than the one you love. That love, real true love, is knowing you would do anything for that other person (and they the same) because the world would be worse off without them in it. And Nick will never be okay with a world without Ellie. Never. Their joint quiet after his confession is so powerful. There’s no claims of falsehood, there’s no trying to quip back at him, there’s no trying to stop him. It just settles into the room- into their hearts. They’ve crossed a line and it means so, so much. Nick can feel a weight lifted off his shoulders as he loads his gun and gets ready and Ellie can feel a weight settle on hers from the need to reciprocate. And not out of pity, it would be out of truth. But she knows it isn’t the right time. She knows she has to do it, and she will. She held back earlier when she couldn’t say she was fighting for Nick, but his outburst and confession gave her the courage in this scene. She finally has confirmation she means to him like he means to her. And she has to know, she has to know if he means it or if it was heat of the moment so when the dust settles she inquires, “what’s going on over there?” A pulse check. A way of asking without asking—did you mean that? And the shock of confirmation of her face as Nick, dead as a doornail serious says, “close calls make you live harder”….holy hell. That’s the moment it snaps for her, everything snaps into place—the agony he’s gone through not only this week, but the past couple years of close calls. He’s done beating around the bush, he’s living harder, he’s going all in, he’s getting what he wants. He refuses to let anything like a damn jail cell rigged to blow stand in his way. And she knows, she knows just how important she is to him. He might not have said those three words, but that phrase- that phrase was a direct window into Nick Torres’ soul. And by god I love it. 

But Nick pulling a prank on Ellie like that is also so Nick- the little shit. The genuine concern in her voice when she yells his name 😭 like dude, her worst fear, something causing ongoing trauma in her head right now is the ONE THING you decide to tease her with??? I should expect nothing less but damn that’s low 😂 her checking on his status update with Gibbs though feels like such a role reversal from earlier and it cracks me up, side note. 

When they’re getting ready to stand down the returning brother and Nick gets in position next to the wall but can’t even look ahead- he’s just staring at Ellie, oof. In that moment he’s brutally and painfully aware she can’t hide for cover. Not only can she not hide, he can’t cover her because he’s (locked in a cell but also) out of bullets. He’s once again near helpless and the woman he loves (and has now finally kind of told) is a sitting duck. Someone get this poor man a damn club soda, I repeat. 

And the little talk between the two parties- I love that Ellie takes point. Love that Nick lets her. Like damn that’s a supportive partner right there and I 👏🏼 AM 👏🏼 HERE 👏🏼 FOR 👏🏼 IT. He knows she can handle this shit and he will willingly let her. But nooooooowwwww weee gettinggggg to the goooooood paaaaaaart. 

Ok first, “good to see you” - this man has missed her face. Straight up dying to see her in the flesh. Just listening to her voice and not seeing the emotions written on her face is not enough. Seeing her alive, smiling at him, he needed it. But of course, let’s keep it light, act natural Nicholas. 

“I thought you’d be sweatier” - excUUUUSE ME ELLIE. Not only did you just call out his reference to his sweaty jeans earlier, you also WANT TO SEE HIM SWEATY DON’T YOU. THAT SMIRK SAYS YES DON’T LIE. And honestly, I don’t blame you shhhhh.

“The day is young” - can I get another excUUUUSE ME NICK. Words- they don’t- function. Because that knowing smile of hers- SHE’S OKAY WITH IT. GET YOUR MIND OUT THE GUTTER YOU TWO THERE’S A HOMICIDAL MAN UPSTAIRS. YOU’VE GOT TIME TO GET SWEATY TOGETHER TONIGHT YOU HEAR ME. THAT DAY IS YOUNG AND SO ARE YOU SO GET THOSE BRICKS AND THEN YOU CAN GET TO BANGING LATER. I just fucking can’t with their smirks. I can’t. This isn’t the normal banter, this is the fuck me banter and I’m okay with it. Because right after the I-wanna-get-in-your-sweaty-jeans banter we have Ellie putting her HAND ON HIS GD HIP AS HE PASSES ONLY TO MOVE UP TO BOTH SHOULDERS. AND THEEEEEEEN HOLY HELL SOMEONE LIGHT A MATCH BECAUSE THIS BITCH ABOUT TO EXPLODE FROM SEXUAL TENSION. Is it possible to rewatch this scene a thousand times in slo-mo and still not have watched it enough? Because that is me. That will always be me. How are they so in tandem, so in sync as they look up mere inches from each other- directly into the other’s eyes knowing exactly how serious this situation is and yet pausing to freaking gaze longingly (read: have eye sex) at each other. And I’m sorry Nick looks down at her lips like three times??? For a good while too?? Sir nothing you said required you to look there. nothing. And also there’s no way his hands aren’t on her I thiiiiiiink they’re on her upper arms (based on the last shot as he’s walking to get the bricks) but like hold her tight Nick please. Also while Ellie doesn’t look at his lips (in this scene) holy shit those are some come-hither eyes if I’ve ever seen them. “I’m sure” ABOUT YOU. SHE’S SURE ABOUT YOU NICK. SHE’S SURE SHE’S READY TO GET SWEATY WITH YOU NICK. Like literally, this girl had been leaning up against the cement wall for a looooong time before he has to pass her and now, NOW that Nick has to pass her- SHE STANDS UP TALL. TO GIVE HIM NO SPACE. WHILE SHE’S STANDING ON A BOMB. BITCH YOU WANTED IT. That was a damn power move Ellie and I am not mad about it. She so easily could have leaned back, given him a ton of space to get around, but nooooooo she stands right there, middle of the tight opening and says yes Nick come get 1mm from my face, touch me here, touch me there, touch me everywhere don’t care 👀 while you pass. I’m sure I’m okay with it because you’ve just eye fucked me and it’s exactly what I wanted. And I mean come oooooooon just the underlying emotion behind both of their words. Nick isn’t just asking if she won’t move her foot- it’s his way of asking if she’s ok and she looks SO much better, more relaxed now that he’s with her. The tense, anxiety-ridden Ellie that was asking for inventory or snapping about him being overprotective, is now at ease despite still standing on said bomb- all because Nick is right there with her and if that doesn’t make you 🥺😭 I don’t know what will. Like she can’t even take her eyes off of him even after rude brother interrupts this gold moment of theirs until Nick has already completely turned his head towards the dude. She’s just so relieved to see him standing there, so close to her, feeling his warmth underneath her hands again. 

Side note to prove my earlier point, when Nick casually reaches through to throw the bags of bricks through the door Ellie is leaning on the wall and THERE’S SO MUCH ROOM. HE COULD HAVE EASILY PASSED. 

Nick looks like he literally wants to murder the guy, enraged that he’s the one who put Ellie in this situation again. We would’ve seen swan!Nick if it wasn’t for Ellie choosing this moment to finally share her feelings. Because remember- she’d decided she was going to reciprocate but knew it wouldn’t come off the right way before. Now’s the time. Now when the immediate threat to their lives is gone (excluding bomb of course). Now when they’re alone, they’re together, and she can look him in the eye so he knows she’s serious. He can read the truth in her eyes rather than doubt her words said across a jail cell wall. 

“This isn’t about me, it’s about you” - well damn that got your attention didn’t it Nick??? So used to putting Ellie first, putting yourself second its weird to hear it come from someone else isn’t it? That someone is worried for your safety? That someone needs you living and breathing just as much as you need them doing the same? His eyes immediately change from Imma kill this man to did I just hear this woman right. 

“I’m not okay with you getting blown up either” - first off, the parallelism is what makes this absolute *chef’s kiss* because Nick has literally zero chance of being blown up if he runs after this dude. Shot? Yes. But blown up? No. Ellie has chosen these words precisely to call back to what Nick said earlier. To make sure he’s aware she understood the weight of his earlier confession and is making the same one. They are on equal footing- their feelings are not only reciprocated but just as strong as the other. She could’ve said anything else but choosing his exact words was so poignant in the moment. It’s like the difference between saying “I love you” & “I love you too” compared to “I love you” & “I really care about you.” And the way she says it with such confidence, she isn’t playing around, she didn’t even *have* to bring up their previous conversation, she’s got determination etched across her face with a ghost of a smile on her lips. She means this, and it’s dying to bust out of her. And so the shock to Nick’s system is quite frankly understandable. This is Ellie - someone who hours ago didn’t even want to tell him who she was trying to make a phone call to. Ellie who has walls the size of Mt. Everest erected around her heart. Ellie who could have brushed off his earlier comments said from the safety of a cement wall between them. But no. This Ellie is all-in, she’s ready to own up to her side. She’s ready to lay it on the line just like him. Equal footing. If Nick is ready to jump, then so is she. And he’s just so taken aback- glancing at her lips, blinking through the shock as he processes. Processes the weight of her words on their relationship. He knows he could laugh it off, make a joke about his superhuman strength not allowing him to get blown up, or he could man up and take them both forward. Ellie doesn’t even flinch under his stare, if anything she becomes more confident, more resolute in her words and her stance. Her eyes searching his for what his reaction will be and for a brief moment I swear there’s a tiny bit of worry, a tiny bit of unease that he wasn’t ready for her to repeat his words back to him. 

“Well, what are we gonna do about that?” Oh YOU HEARD. That smirrrrrrrrk Nicholas stop iiiiiit, Eleanor’s standing on a bomb you don’t need to light her on fire!! Because this is a challenge, a goddamn challenge. Staring straight into her soul saying, “oh you want me and I want you? How about we blow this popsicle stand and go get fucking sweaty ok? Because that’s what I want to do about that 👀🔥🔥🔥” and not only is the smirk sexy as hell but it’s also got this glint of elation. Like he could not be happier she said those words back to him. That he finally took Ziva’s advice, wasn’t a wuss and WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT IT PAID OFF. But his words also tell of a little nervousness. And not necessarily in a bad way, more as in a leaving it to her way. Putting her in the driver’s seat of this relationship knowing it’s where she’ll feel most comfortable. Given all she’s been through, like all of it not just the past week, he knows that she needs to be in control of how fast they move. And once again his chivalry and thoughtfulness of her is just- I cry. He doesn’t just assault her with what they should do next, he leaves it for her to decide. For her to weigh in on how far and how fast she wants to take them. And by the little shy smile Ellie gives him- she knows what he means. She knows her words have hit their mark and that he respects her enough to let her lead the way. And now she has to make her decision, a decision we DON’T GET TO SEE BUT I’M NOT BITTER IT’S FINE. But a decision nonetheless. 

I honestly go two ways on this- the most obvious of hell yes they kissed right then and there and started *something* and then the bitter realistic one of they were probably interrupted by Gibbs (who was literally outside like right then based on timing) but also may have just continued to stare into each other’s eyes- still slightly taken aback by everything they just shared and what it means for them. Still unsure of how they “work” as people who *love* each other, not just partners. Having that reality sink in as they continue to face off and wait for a rescuer. That reality sinking in could lead to obviously very good things (that we better see on our screen or I will fucking riot) or a slight nervous closing-off. Like not quite closed off closed off, but a tiny retreat when the gravity of the day falls down on both of them. I don’t think either will believe they only said what they did because of the situation/moment they were in, but it’s still a lot to deal with after all is said and done. I sincerely hope they unpack this in the coming episodes and give us some direction of what happened after that jail cell scene. 

I love the Torres told McGee about what happened today and I’m so curious about how much detail he told him lol but I also love that McGee has now received genuinely good advice from Torres twice now (the one about the reunion and now this). Just goes to show you the brotherly bond they have ❤️ but also that the advice was the same advice he literally lived out that day. Close calls make you live harder, almost as an affirmation to himself (Nick about what happened), but as something he knew McGee needed to hear too- they all do. 

And then this bullpen scene - one, how far of a time jump is this and whyyyyyyy won’t they telllll meeeeee. They hate me. Two, Ellie coming over so close just to hand off a file that he doesn’t even look at 👀 three, THEIR SMIRKS. WHAT DO THEY MEAN. Because Nick is holding back the world’s biggest smile as Ellie gets close to him and Ellie is just all nonchalantly checking him out with a brief eye-sex scene. Like damn this fine man doesn’t want me to blow up and I don’t want him to blow up either 🔥 Now does this mean they absolutely got together and did the nasty after they got out of that cell? Of course not. We can only dream, and write fics. This ending scene is very reminiscent of what NCIS loves to do with their power of open-ended persuasion at the end of an ep, see On Fire for example. The ending music and comments combined with the shot of Gibbs leaving in the elevator is literally there to try and persuade you that he killed Xavier. In this ep, the ending music and voiceover combined with their looks at each other is there to try and persuade you they totally got it oooooon. Not to say they didn’t, but I don’t trust NCIS one damn bit. 

All in all, cannot *wait* to see where they take ellick the rest of the season. Emily hyped this ep and man, she did NOT disappoint. Let’s see that shift that is going to ripple for the rest of the season now like Wilmer promised 🤞🏼

Oh and my only side note because this was insanely insanely long and if you’re still reading I’m proud of you for hanging in there with me & my screams into the void, send me an ask screaming back it’s ok I’ll love you for it—waaaas the whole team poking fun at Torres for using the word notable was downright hilarious. That and Gibbs trying to do everything himself, I can’t. Comedic gold. I love. I would go from dying of laughter to intense emotions so fast in this ep I got whiplash and for that, I am thankful to Gina. She always delivers 🔥

[rhys-rambles]

FIGHT CLUB | 1999

I was introduced to the movie Fight Club around 3 years ago. It wasn’t until recently I’ve become interested in it. So here’s my Fight Club breakdown :) WARNING FOR SPOILERS!!

For those who don’t know, Fight Club is a cult favorite novel that was later adapted into a film released in 1999, directed by David Fincher. Starring Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helena Bonham Carter.

The story of Fight Club revolves around three main characters. It’s told from a first-person perspective by a nameless character that’s commonly called ‘the narrator’, who has a dead-end white-collar job at a major car company and has fallen prey to what he calls the ‘Ikea-nesting instinct’. Dictated by social norms he walks perfectly in line like a docile sheep, which translates into an inauthentic, repetitive and empty life.

He suffers from a bad case of insomnia, which causes him to be neither fully awake, nor fully asleep. Sometimes, he entertains self-destructive thoughts: as he flies around from state to state for his job, he prays for a crash or mid-air collision every time the plane bankes too sharply on takeoff or landing.

During a flight, he meets an eccentric and hypermasculine character named Tyler Durden.

Tyler seems to be the direct opposite of the narrator. He’s a wolf rather than a sheep, disentangled from society, and impervious to social norms. He takes what he wants, without asking, and whenever he pleases. He’s self-sufficient, has no superiors, and doesn’t care about material possessions.

The movie later reveals that Tyler and the narrator are the same person, as Tyler is a product of the narrator’s imagination, that’s probably induced by severe insomnia combined with dissatisfaction with a dull, meaningless existence and a lifetime of repressed urges.

The narrator is addicted to going to support groups for specific illnesses because these give him the opportunity to cry, which seems to be a remedy for his insomnia. The downside of his behavior is that he isn’t genuine; he has no testicular cancer, or blood parasites, yet acts as if he does, so he can reap the benefits of these sessions.

But these benefits come to an end when another non-genuine visitor starts to join the sessions as well. This is a woman named Marla Singer, and her motive for joining these sessions is, and I quote: “It’s cheaper than a movie and there’s free coffee.”

Marla is a self-destructive, chain-smoking fatalist, who’s expecting to die at any moment, but finds it tragic that it never happens. She steals food and clothes for a living and attempts suicide by overdosing Xanax.

Even though the narrator, Tyler, and Marla are totally different personalities, they all live their lives accompanied by a nihilistic undercurrent.

Tyler seems to have figured out what causes this emptiness, and during the course of the story, his solution unfolds. Unfortunately, his character slides from a sage-like father figure to an anarchist terrorist, who’s out to destroy modern civilization. Nevertheless, he exposes a series of harsh realities about modern life that are worth contemplating.

Anti-consumerism

The anti-consumerist stance of Tyler Durden becomes obvious when he verbalizes his concern about the modern way of life. Shortly after the narrator meets Tyler, he discovers that his apartment went up in flames. After this unfortunate event, realizing that he has no friends to call, he calls Tyler. The two meet, and the narrator complains about losing his furniture, and his respectable and almost complete wardrobe. Tyler responds rather indifferently and slightly sarcastically before he begins to express his views on the matter. Quote:

“We’re consumers. We are by-products of a lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty, these things don’t concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with 500 channels, some guy’s name on my underwear. Rogaine, Viagra, Olestra…”

It becomes clear that Tyler has quite an unconventional view of what’s good and bad. Murder, crime, and poverty are generally considered bad things, while consumer goods like televisions, clothing from a certain brand, products that help to hide aging, enhance bedroom performance, and help us with weight loss, are considered preferable.

Tyler has a contempt for the artificial, as opposed to elements that have been a natural part of the human condition, probably as long we exist. This way of thinking touches upon an ancient Cynic philosopher named Diogenes of Sinope, who believed that modern, civilized life hinders our natural state.

At the end of the movie, it appears that the narrator has destroyed his apartment himself when he was taken over by his alter ego, Tyler Durden. This deed was the first step onto the road of detachment from his property, into a more authentic way of life and to (how Tyler puts it): “reject the basic assumptions of civilization, especially the importance of material possessions.”

The narrator moves in with Tyler, who lives in a dilapidated house with ongoing leaks, power failures, and no Ikea furniture. Slowly but surely, the narrator indeed detaches from his previously destroyed property. “Things you own end up owning you,” Tyler tells him. And this simple piece of wisdom probably hits home, when the narrator realizes that he doesn’t need all these worldly goods, and is actually much happier without them.

Non-conformity

Tyler Durden is a non-conformist, and shows, again, similarities with Diogenes, who not only purposefully lived in poverty, but also rejected social norms. For him, social constructs are nothing more than a superficial layer of culture that represses our true nature.

Diogenes lived in a barrel, Tyler lives in an abandoned building. Diogenes urinated in public, Tyler urinates in the soup of a restaurant.

The narrator, on the other hand, seems to be the embodiment of conformity, as he adapts his lifestyle completely to societal expectations. The problem with this behavior is that we dedicate our existence walking the paths that people other than ourselves have laid out for us. This need to conform, the fear of falling by the wayside, this sickly preoccupation by what others think of us, this necessity to keep up with the Joneses: what an exhausting way of life, just to feel ‘accepted’.

So, what if we stop caring? What if we reject the generally accepted norms, and choose our own values, elect our own leaders, determine our own goals, regardless of the social expectations? This is a fundamental difference between the narrator and Tyler Durden, who puts it like this: “I am free in all the ways that you are not.”

Ironically, later on in the story, Project Mayhem, a terrorist organization led by Tyler that grows out of Fight Club, is a textbook example of conformity, as it’s members wear the same clothes, are absolutely equal, abolish their names, and are referred to as space monkeys that sacrifice their lives for a greater cause. We could say that by rejecting one doctrine in order to be ‘non-conformist’, we often imprison ourselves in another one.

Fighting and masculinity

Fighting and the experience of pain play a significant role in Fight Club. At the beginning of the story, Tyler asks the narrator to hit him as hard as he can. He explains his strange wish by saying: “How can you know yourself if you’ve never been in a fight? I don’t want to die without any scars.”

So, the narrator hits him. Tyler hits him back, and the two engage in a fistfight. Both seem to feel surprisingly pleasant afterward and decide to do it again. Their nightly activities on a parking lot attract the attention of other men, that are also interested in joining these non-hostile fistfights. And thus, Fight Club is born.

It’s widely known that voluntary exposure to certain forms of pain makes us stronger in the face of adversity, which could be a legit reason to partake in these fights. As the narrator states: “After fighting everything else in your life got the volume turned down.”

However, Fight Club is more than just a metaphor for dealing with hardship through exposure: a physical fight, and the violence and aggression that goes with it, resonates with the primal part of our being.

Not only the men in the story are attracted to the violence of fighting; Fight Club as a movie and novel was so impactful on its audience, that real-life Fight Clubs started to emerge.

The story shows an experiment in which the members of Fight Club pick fights with random strangers (and are supposed to lose), which isn’t as easy as it sounds; most people do everything to avoid physical conflict.

But Fight Club makes us wonder if it’s a good thing that we’ve lost touch with these primal tendencies. Should we repress this part of human nature? Or, perhaps, integrate it in healthy and constructive ways?

Self-destruction

When the story progresses, Tyler and the narrator begin to see the world through a different lens. Tyler criticizes the modern self-improvement hype by saying: “Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction… ”

This statement is slightly confusing, as the increasingly destructive nature of Fight Club, in which faces are permanently mutilated and teeth are knocked out of people’s heads, doesn’t seem to be a sustainable way to live.

But Tyler might be onto something when we look at self-destruction as the destruction of a false self.

‘Self-improvement’ often points to the accumulation of external goods: a better house, a better job, a better body, more money. But why should we endlessly want to improve ourselves? Why can’t we just be happy with how things are, and take life as it comes? Or as Tyler states:

“I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let’s evolve, let the chips fall where they may.”

We create an identity through material wealth, and social status. And as far as Tyler is concerned, this false sense of self must be destroyed, before we are free to do anything we want. Therefore, the ‘space monkeys’ of Project Mayhem live by a mantra which goes like this:

“You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your fucking khakis. You are all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.” - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Tyler makes a so-called human sacrifice, namely a man called Raymond who works a dead-end job in a convenience store. Raymond wanted to be a veterinarian, but didn’t make it because it was “too much studying.” Tyler threatens Raymond, saying that if he doesn’t start studying within six weeks, he’ll kill him.

In this scene, Tyler points to another aspect of self-destruction: the act of letting go of fears, negative self-talk, and all distractions, so we can fully focus on our purpose. It’s the destruction of everything within ourselves that holds us back from living life on our own terms.

A near-life experience

Many people go great lengths when it comes to pain avoidance. The problem is that running from pain means running from an inevitable part of life.

The prospect of incurring pain makes us anxious, and often leads to self-indulgent decisions. That is: choosing the less painful path, even if a more painful path guarantees more success and pleasure in the future.

Tyler Durden deals with this by inflicting a chemical wound on the narrator’s hand using lye.

As expected, the narrator does everything to escape the pain: he uses visualization techniques he learned at a seminar, and retreating in his cave to find his ‘power animal’. But Tyler slaps him in the face, forcing him to stay with the pain, saying: “This is the greatest moment of your life, man. And you’re off somewhere missing it.”

For the narrator, Tyler has one central goal: he must reach bottom. After putting him through suffering, and destroying his false identity, there’s yet another aspect that must be crushed: hope. Losing all hope is freedom. And, therefore, he must reject what has rejected him: his father, and God. I quote:

“Consider the possibility that God does not like you. In all probability, he hates you.” - Tyler Durden, Fight Club

Tyler states that we don’t need God. That we shouldn’t care about redemption and damnation. And if we’re God’s unwanted children, so be it. Thereby, we lose all hope, but are also liberated from religious doctrine and fatherly authority.

Now we’re truly free. Now we can create our own meaning, and live how we want to live.

Tyler emphasizes the importance of knowing what we want in life. To achieve this, we must be willing to get out of our comfort zone and jump into the unknown without safety brackets.

The narrator, however, has difficulties letting go of security. He begs Tyler to not mess around when he lets go of the steering wheel in a driving car while hitting the gas. Tyler calls the narrator ‘pathetic’, and yells: “hitting bottom isn’t a weekend retreat. It’s not a goddamn seminar. Stop trying to control everything and just let go!”

After an inevitable car crash, Tyler states that they just had a ‘near-life experience’.

Wrap up

Fight Club is a story about rebellion against the status quo and a plea for the simple life. It criticizes the ways in which we are so hung up on security, and material possessions, and how people let social norms dictate their lives.

‘Stuff’ has become our religion. The idols we worship are Ikea and Starbucks. And the more we immerse ourselves in such an empty and unfulfilling existence, the more we start to resemble the things that we produce: manufactured products rather than authentic human beings.

Tyler shows us a way out. And even though his insights are profound, the execution is questionable. Fight Club, and its terrorist branch Project Mayhem, show us how easy it is to oppose one ideology, in order to fall into another, and how a cult-like echo chamber built on rigid beliefs could become very destructive.

Nevertheless, Tyler challenges us to be self-sufficient and disobedient to the authorities that let us down, to live authentically and in the moment, to confront our fears, to boldly step out of our comfort zones, and let the things that don’t matter truly slide.

[juniaships]

After being reminded of how awful canon film is I wrote my own self indulgent version of Batman Vs. Superman. I want the story to be self contained, so no Doomsday or Darkseid forewarning. Warning: Rambling, me being butthurt while high on sugar, really trying to make this a coherent storyline with genuine development, some Bruce x OC moments shut up you demon!

The beginning is the same as in canon with Lois in Africa???Middle East??? With her partner James Olsen trying to resolve a hostage situation. James gets killed trying to protect a hostage, but before anymore are killed Superman comes in and rescues them. He subdues not kill the terrorists but gets into trouble with the intelligence agency for interrupting their mission. This incident reaches the ears of Helen Hunt's character the no-nonsense Senator. However Superman is more concerned for the deceased James and the unharmed hostages than getting in trouble with the government, he feels guilty being unable to save James in time.

After James Olsen's funeral Clark and Lois are unsure what to do next. They decide the best way to honor his memory is continuing their line of working bringing light to troubling issues as well as a troubling rose of villains. They also find out that the terrorists had weapons given to them by Luthor (to protect interests in that region).

Meanwhile, Lex decides to capitalize on the post destruction of Metropolis by launching a smear campaign. He also starts pursuing charitable events to make himself look good in front of the masses. Because of growing negativity towards Supes, Clark starts feeling a lack of confidence but from reassurance from his mom he redirects his focus hero by doing small stuff around Smallville. Gradually the town starts to see him in a far better light but there's still Metropolis and the larger world. Clark goes there to help rebuild. At his job at DP, he gets the chance to interview visiting millionaire Bruce Wayne in Whatever City (not the actual name but a totally different city from Metropolis and Gotham). At the press meeting Bruce is rather cold & not as Clark expected. He's even working with Lex Luthor as part of a business deal, which makes Clark wary as he knows about Luthor's criminal activity.

Superman goes out in a flight to clear his head. While flying around he sees a kid walking on the railroad tracks hy himself with a pair of headphones....and a train steadily approaching! Supes swoops in and saves the kod from being nuked and chastises him for being so reckless. The teenager apologies and introduces himself as Jimmy Olsen (a nephew of the deceased James). He had been listening to music as a way to cope with his uncle's death. They talk for a while and Superman brings Jimmy back home. Several weeks later Clark ends up mentoring Jimmy as a school project.

Back in Whatever City we're introduced to one of Lex's assistants Nicola. She's a former Holliday Girl who had overheard Lex's plan and vowed to stop him. She managed to get in contact with an old friend: Diana Prince. Nicola brings up Lex's plan and hidden research of metahumans. The Amazon surmises that such a scheme could result in the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of people. Diana decides to bring her agency to stop him & asks Nicola to stay low. Diana gathers her old armor and prays to the Gods for luck.

Lex apparently likes Nicola enough to send her an invite to a charity ball, where she crosses paths with Bruce for the first time. They talk for a while only to be interrupted by Clark.

After a meeting with Luthor to discuss a merger with their companies, and seeing hints of Luthor's true selfishness, Bruce grows suspicious of him and started to dig around. We see through memorabilia that his initial coldness towards Clark and other people wasn't out of spite but of grief: Jason Todd's death some years ago.

Clark continues his good deeds and is slowly regaining his respect. He even makes plan to visit a children's hospital but is forced to cancel when Superman gets called to show up for a Congress hearing. At the meeting Superman admits his guilt but tells about James and how he died a hero. The Senator doesn't know where Superman is going with this but is listening. Then Superman's voice trails of as he hears a beeping noise and shocked he leaves the room in a hurry. He briefly searches the place and finds a bomb strapped in a closet. He carries the bomb out and throws it as high into the sky as possible Back inside the audience and senator are bewildered by his absence then hear a loud booming noise outside. There's shock as a bright light flashes in the sky...

Superman legit rejected their hearing to save them from a bomb. A bomb planted there by Tess on the instructions of Luthor...a plan she was willing to sacrifice her own life for.

This leaves the senator reconsidering her stance: if he really was as bad as people say then he wouldn't have saved them.

After the incident the entire country begins to have a more positive opinion of Superman while the government launches a search for possible terrorists. Bruce hears about what happened and after sneaking around as Batman, finds out about Luthor being the one responsible for the attempted terror attack. Later on he (as civilian) makes an announcement that he is not going to go through with the merger with LexCorp.

Hearing the news that Superman foiled his attempted assassination (and losing out on Wayne Enterprises), Lex gets very pissed off and threatens to fire Tess. She tries to save face by reminding Lex of his contingency plan...making Lex calm down and grin as he begins to remake his plan.

Nicola agrees to a date with Bruce and prepares. Meanwhile Lois and Jimmy are enjoying a night on the town while Clark stays behind to work on a news story. The two friends were about ti make it back to their hotel before being accosted by some men who force them into a car and takes them to Lex Corp.

At the HQ Lois calls him out that his plan could spell doom for the world. Surprisingly Luthor agrees but makes it clear he doesn't care. He orders his men to capture her, but Jimmy manages to escape and goes off to find Clark (who is writing a story to expose Luthor's actions). Jimmy tells him learns from him that Lois is in trouble Superman tells him to stay as he fetches the police. In reality he jas gone to find her as his hero alias. He finds her but just as he's about to rescue her Lex threatens that he also has another certain someone (Martha Kent ) captured if he doesn't comply, seeing that Supes was often seen visiting her. Reluctantly Superman complies and Lois is freed from her bonds, yet Lex takes them as hostages to a room lined with Green Kryptonite. He leaves to his warehouse to check on progress of his prototype. Jimmy wonders where Clark has gone and goes to the police station himself.

On their date Bruce mentions to Nicola that he knows what she's up to. Nicola coldly replies what was he talking about and he mentions Lex's actions and her possible status as an accomplice This starts a spat leading to Nicola spilling that she is working against Lex (making her a foil to the blindly loyal Tess) and that her goal was to stop Lex from unleashing his plan. She already called a friend to help them yet when Bruce presses forward they see a kid (Jimmy) wandering around and concerned asks what's wrong. Jimmy replies that his friend was kidnapped and doesn't know what to do. Bruce leaves to find Clark while Nicola stays with Jimmy.

Nicole & Jimmy arrives back at the hotel and sees Tess Mercer waiting for them. She had been sent by Luthor to eliminate the witness. Nicola tries to talk her coworker out of harming an innocent kid but Tess refuses. They duel but Tess proves to be a surprisingly stronger fighter. Before Tess could come in for the kill a frightened Jimmy knocks her out cold from behind.

At HQ Lois & a weakened Superman attempt an escape. Lois believes its hopeless but Clark reminds her that Lex won't put them down for long. Batman arrives at the HQ and stealthily avoids the guards. He deduces the room Lois and Supes are locked up in and free them. Batman says thay a little birdie told him everything Lois and Clark grinning that it's Jimmy and the two superheroes decide to work together to bring down Lex.

Batman goes to save Martha (the warehouse fight) while Superman goes to confront Lex, dropping Lois off at the hotel where rhe police are waiting (Tess apprehended). Nicola researcher offers to take the reporter home but she declines, not wanting to sit back and watch Lex try to destroy the world. After giving her report to the police she and Nicole meet Steven Trevor (a descendant of Steve Trevor and an agent). Steven says he already sent his men to arrest Lex as they found that he waa behind the bombing. Lois sneaks away to see if she can help Clark.

Clark manages to catch uo to Lex at his lab and tries to reason with him. Lex says that he already unleashed his prototype as a test to see how many lives Superman is able to save. Superman argues that Lex has gone mad trying to play god, which he disagrees: "I'm not playing god I'm only playing favorites is all." Disgusted, Superman leaves and goes off to fight the prototype. As he does an entire line of trucks arrive...led by Nicola's special friend...

Lex realizes he has been found out and tries to destroy the evidence. Lois realize that the monster was made of Kryptonian DNA so she looks around for the spare Kryptonite and manages to grab a considerable long piece. Just as she does the place starts flooding and she runs. However she nearly drown. Fortunately she gets pulled out by a woman wearing armor. Lois doesn't even ask her name as she recognizes the W shaped emblem and blue&red color scheme. Lois gives the heroine the spear and tells her that she says she loves Clark. Wonder Woman nods and heads towards the direction of Superman.

Superman draws the monster out away from the city and is helped by Batman. Wonder Woman arrives with the spear. The final battles commences with Batman providing a distraction to lead the prototype away. Diana and Superman fight the beast but is soon overpowered. Clark takes the makeshift spear and goes off and manages to subdue the creature rather unwilling to kill it. However he gets blown up by a missile sent by the US military and everyone thinks he is dead.

To his he walks out of the smoke, banged up but alive, having narrowly escaped the blast. The monster has died, leaving Clark to wonders sadly if the monster could have been saved as it had no control over its actions. A relieved Lois embraces him as the other two supers look on in bittersweet triumph.

Several days later, the President, on the behest of the Helen Hunt Senator, gives Superman a full pardon. The world also starts to see rising of actual superheroes to take in the increase of villains having been inspired by the actions of the newly dubbed Trinity. The ending shows that long term exposure to Kryptonite left Lex without any hair, cementing his iconic look. He had also beem arrested and tried and ends up locked up at a mental institution on an insanity plea. His other henchmen & Tess are jailed and Luthor's company scrambles to do damage control. Bruce catches up to Clark and apologizes for being cold. They part ways on better terms before musing at the similarities between their alter egos. Diana teases that they make a great team and returns to the capital with her team. Bruce returns to Gotham and stops at the cemetery to place flowers on Jason Todd's grave, showing that he moved to the acceptance stage of grief. Jimmy also ends up getting a job as an intern for Daily Planet with Lois as his mentor this time. And Nicola goes to Gotham to work as a social worker and takes up a case: Cassandra Cain.

The final scene ends with Clark as Superman dressed up in Metropolis visiting a local orphanage/foster home, showing that at his core he truly does care about humanity despite all them haters. 👏👏 👏 happy ending everyone!!!

The movie ends with a montage of

- Cyborg walking around aimlessly in his hometown and finding a discarded newspaper highlighting the heroes' exploits and getting the idea to try becoming a hero himself

- Aquaman in his kingdom catching up with the surface world and becoming curious, and wonders about an alliance

- Barry standing in a hill in his city in costume. He grins and smiles, before pulling over his cowl and racing off

- And Lex, plotting an escape from his cell, suddenly sees a peculiarly tall guard looming over him. He makes a digging comment that the guard shrugs off. To his surprise the guard unlocks the cell and leads Lex out. Lex asks who the guard is; the guard slips off his disguises revealing a sapient Gorilla...Gorilla Grodd!

All This sets up a future plot point that wouldn't be explored until after Justice League where we're introduced to the cinematic LEGION OF DOOM!!! The prototype they fight is not doomsday but foreshadows the creation of Bizarro (who was one of the original members of the LoD).

With the actual Justice League movie we continue with the formation of the team through several subplots converging into one major story arc. The Helen Hunt Senator plays a huge role being their ally and influence on building the Hall of Justice. Plus more Brucola stuff because we need fun stuff in Batman, Tom King.

[honey-subs]

an angst/fluff one: you're working for ceo!jinyoung (he looks so good in suits it should be illegal istg) as his personal assistant. he actually likes you quite a lot but due to the stress of being the ceo of one of the biggest companies he had to push you around all day not even being able to give you a minute to catch your breath if he wanted to. he still always kept a good eye on you though making sure that you're doing okay but that one time he hadn't been there you fainted (part 1)

part 2 to the ceo!jinyoung one he had been in a when it happened, you were on your way to make some copies taking the stairs as the elavator was broken. you hadn't been feeling well all morning but you forced yourself to work knowing that your boss (whom you had a crush on) needed your help. someone called out for you from behind as you nearly reached the bottom you spun around a bit too quickly as suddenly everything was spinning and you lost balance falling down the couple of stairs

this is legit turning into a secnario 3rd and last part (i hope) : an employee rushed into the meeting breaking jinyoung off. jinyoung was known for being a kind man as every employee was swooning for him because of his looks and personality, but the fact that the meeting had been quite important made him turn to the worker in annoyance, cocking an eyebrow at her. but before he could say anything he was broken off by her only now noticing how distressed the woman in front of him looked.

ceo!jinyoung second last part "it's y/n" she said, eyes watering as her voice quivered. jinyoung got worried he had a soft spot for you and this situation didn't look good. "where is she?" jinyoung asked not even caring what was up. he needed to get to you, to see you and hold you if you were in pain.. professionalism be damned. the woman told him where to find you and he rushed out after hastily dismissing everyone from the meeting. he ran to his office where you apparently were.

ceo!jinyoung (not) last part he ran to his office not caring how his own employees eyed him as he ran down the halls of the building. when he burst through the door there you were positioned on the small couch. he crouched down in front of you, wincing as he saw the small bruise on your cheek. he nudged you awake cautiously, when you woke up you told him everything that you remembered about. he took you into his trained arms after you finished. (still isn't the last part like i expected lmao)

ceo!jinyoung "can't you take care of yourself? i nearly had a heart attack when i heard about something happening to you. i thought that maybe you-" he stumbled over his own words pulling you even closer. you only realized what was happening when you felt a wet patch on your shoulder. jinyoung was crying. the strong ceo everyone admired, your crush was crying.. over you. you tried to pull away to look at him but he didn't let you. "can we just stay like this? i thought i lost you."

i gave up numbering the parts lmao- he never showed his vulnerability or softness to you so you were quite confused when he cried holding onto you for dear life. he eventually calmed down not daring to look at you, so you decided to take matters into your own hands. "why are you like this?" you asked him carefully as he was still your employer, you were on thin ice right now. "because i like you." shock was evident on your face. jinyoung took it as a bad sign. (jinyoung is a softie lmao)

ceo!jinyoung last part "y- you like me?" you stuttered out and jinyoung looked at you pain flashing in his eyes as he prepared himself for rejection. he nodded watching your reaction carefully. "it's okay.. i get it." he mumbled about to stand up but you turned him back to you. "i like you too you idiot." and with that you pressed your lips onto his your tounges fighting for dominance but as a whine left jinyoungs mouth you took control.. leaving the rest to your imagination lmao

CEO - Park Jinyoung

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

⤷pairing - jinyoung x (could be gender neutral?) reader

⤷genre - angst, fluff

⤷summary - the summary is basically up there lmfao aosjejsksj

⤷warnings -sub!jinyoung, dom!reader, fainting, boss x employee relationship, suggestive, mentions of injuries

⤷notes - long asf, so grab some popcorn.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

you knew the moment you accepted the job that your work would be hard. but did you imagine it’d be this hard? hell no. you’d never wanted to cuss out an inanimate object more tham right now — this morning as you woke up. you threw an arm over your eyes as you huffed out a sigh. you threw the blankets off your body and got up to get ready for the stressful day ahead. you didn’t really feel well, it felt like your head was splitting, and you tired to ignore it as you made your way to the bathroom.

you rolled your eyes as you looked at your reflection in the mirror, scoffing as you reached for a tooth brush. you had to rush a bit, moving quickly around your house as you multitasked — brushing your teeth as you searched for an outfit in your closet. you finally settled on some ripped skinny jeans and an oversized shirt.

you return to the bathroom to finish brushing your teeth, and eventually struggle to put on your outfit for the day. you finally exited your room and went to the kitchen to grab a banana nut muffin as your small breakfast. you hurry out or the door, yelling out a goodbye to your still-asleep-roommate.

it was a struggle to get through the bustling streets of your city, mumbling excuses as you pushed your way through the crowd. you sighed and shook your head when you made it to the coffee shop that your boss favored. the barista smiled at you, already knowing what you wanted before you even opened your mouth to speak.

“here you go, y/n! i hope your day goes well.” she says apologetically, knowing how hard mr. park could be on people, especially assistants. you smiled back at her before rushing out of the door with a goodbye.

it’s not that long of a walk to the office building you worked in, so you didn’t complain too much on the way there. mr. park operated in a tall business building, around 60 floors in the building alone; not including other branches that held specific professions. you pulled open the doors of the main building, and walked in — ready to start your long work day.

you too the elevator all the way up to the top floor, the 60th floor. you knock on the door three times, signifying that it was you and not anyone else. “come in.” your heard his smooth silky voice from inside the room, so you pushed the door open to step inside. he was standing up and fixing some misplaced files on his desk. he gave you a firm smile as he looked up for a split second.

mr. park himself couldn’t deny the bubbly feeling in his stomach he had when he saw you enter his office. he tried his best to push it down so that it wouldn’t interfere with his workplace. he hoped you didn’t notice the pink blush that spread across the tips of his ears.

“here’s your coffee, sir.” you place the coffee in a holder on his desk. and you don’t notice it — which he’s thanking the gods for. “thank you.” he says, not looking up, being more focused on his desk than you. finally, he does look up and he has a thick stack of papers in his arms. “here. take these, make around... 200 copies? thanks.” he gives you yet another tight smile. “is there anything else you need, mr. park?” you ask, a fake smile plastered to your face. “actually yes, after you make the copies, i need you to go to each wing and make sure they have the copies they need, if they don’t make a hundred per wing. i also want you to make sure checks are filed. i’ll be in a meeting later at about four, so i need you to clean my office a bit, thanks.” he says, moving to sit down. he hopes that was enough to keep you busy for the rest of the day so he wouldn’t have to suffer seeing your beautiful face again, he probably wouldn’t be able to control his words or blush if he saw you again.

you try to keep your look of disdain and annoyance off your face as the paper weighed your arms down. “anything else?” you asked through gritted teeth. “no, that’s all.” you exit the door, and exhale once you’re out. your headache has gotten worse since you left your apartment, almost loosing your balance as you became stressed at the mere thought of all you had to do. you huffed out a breath and got to work on going to the copy room.

as you’re on your 199th copy, your grumbling to yourself and shaking your head. ‘he’s lucky i have feelings for him.’ you thought to yourself, rolling your eyes. if you didn’t have feelings forhim, you most likely would’ve quit by now. the 200 copies you needed were finally finished, and you took them all, plus the originals, back up to his office via elevator.

“here are your papers, mr. park.” you told him, quickly pushing the papers onto his desk so you could do the task he had set for you next. “y/n, wait.” he told you, fixing his suit and tie, and trying to keep from stuttering out his sentence. “my meeting got pushed forward, so could you clean my office now before you do everything else, thanks.” it wasn’t a question, it was more of an order. he let his eyes linger onto you to make sure you were okay with all the tasks he pushed onto you — and you seemed okay for the most part. he pushed past you to leave his office and go to his meeting.

you heard the door close behind you, and you allowed your hands to fall to your sides with a slap. you sighed, and winced as a wave of pain from your headache washed over you. you groaned, doing your best to start cleaning. his office would be easy to clean, it wasn’t messy per se, it was just cluttered. you fixed papers around the room and put things in their respective places.

you were done quickly, within an hour or two, sighing as you shut off a light and left the office, on to do the next task. your headache-turned-migraine only got worse. you felt like you could’ve screamed when you found out the elevator was broken and out of order. you gifted your teeth and clenched your fists to keep from lashing out as you stomped your way to the stairs.

yet another wave of pain flowed through you as you made your way down the stairs. you paused for a moment to regain balance, placing your hand on the wall to steady yourself. “y/n? are you okay?” you spun around on your heel quickly to see who called for you. a major mistake.

it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. your coworker looked at you with eyes wide with curiosity and concern. she still hadn’t register the fact that you were falling. your hand slipped off the wall, and your fell backwards. your migraine caused you to get dizzy with pain and fatigue, your eyes closing slowly. the last thing you saw was your coworker putting their hands over their mouth as they were frozen in place and watched you fall.

you felt your head tip back, and your back make contact with the hard edges of the stairs. your body folded and tumbled as continued to fall down the stairs. when the fuck did the staircase get so long? it felt like forever until you reached the ending stopping point, laying flat on your back. eyes closed.

the coworker couldn’t believe what she just saw. you were one of the most loved and important people at the business firm, and to watch you fall like that was scary. she immediately called for help, gaining he attention of many nearby people, telling them to help you to mr. parks office while she told mr. park himself.

she ran, as best she could considering her choice of shoes, towards the meeting room, barging in without making herself known. mr. park immediately turned to glare at one of his employees, and tell them off for interrupting the meeting, but he looked at the distress on her face and paused. “i-it’s y/n!” she says, eyes watering and tears beginning to fall. “what is it?” he asked urgently, moving towards her as he dismissed everyone from the meeting room. he put bass in his voice as he asked again. “what is it?” he stared her down. “she- she fainted as she was going to the west wing. she wasn’t moving after she fell!” she says, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

“take me to her,” he says, trying not to imagine the worst. she nods for a short second before hurrying out of the meeting room, and jinyoung was not on her heels. he couldn’t help the thoughts that took over his mind. if something terrible did happen to you, it would’ve been all his fault. his fault for working her so hard just for his selfish benefit — so he could mask his own feelings.

she pushed open the door and allowed jinyoung to enter first before she did. he could feel his heart crumple at the sight of you, laying unmoving and unconscious on the small black couch in his office. “can you um, can you give us some alone time?” he asked, walking forward. the coworker along with the other two people in the room nodded, leaving immediately.

he looked down at you, biting his lip as he tried not to show his most vulnerable emotion. you were covered in bruises and marks, and apparently they had a doctor come because there was a bandage wrapped around your back and your head, and probably another place he couldn’t see. the moment he freed his lips from his teeth, it quivered immediately.

he wasn’t an emotional person, but seeing the person he was most likely in love with in a state like this, really broke him. he pulled up a chair and sat down, leaning his head forward.

he sat like that for awhile, ignoring everyone when they came and told him to eat. “why does everything hurt?” he looked up instantly to see you wincing as you tried to move. “my chest feels like that one time i had a cigarette. teen me lived for danger.” you mumbled, moving a hand to cup your head where you felt bandages. (i really hope someone got that reference) “hey, hey, hey, wait, you shouldn’t be moving so much.” he murmured, slowly leaning you back so that you were resting on a pillow again. “what happened? are you okay?”he asked, swelling the lump that formed in his throat.

“i’m fine. i guess i fainted..? the last things i remember are heading to the west wing to check on them, and someone called my name. i turned around to fast i guess and fell. i wasn’t feeling well prior to that though.” you explained, straining to remember what happened. he chewed on his lips, taking a deep breath. “can’t you take care of yourself? i thought something happened to you and you almost gave me a heart attack. everything would’ve been my fault and i just-“ he paused his words and leans forward, engulfing you in a hug. unsurely, you wrapped your arms around him as well.

soon you felt a wet patch on your shoulder. it shocked you a bit. everyone thought of him as this strong and thoughtful and all powerful CEO, yet here he was, crying over you because he thought he lost you. you pulled away slowly, trying to meet his eyes. he kept his head down, a slight sniffle came from him as he wiped his eyes and his nose. “are you okay, mr. park?” you asked, using a soft and comforting tone. he let out a bitter laugh. “it would’ve been all my fault. you would’ve- something terrible could’ve happened to you and it would’ve been because of me. because i couldn’t face my own feelings.” he smiled for a split second to keep more tears from spilling.

“what?” you asked confusedly, maybe it was the concussion, but nothing seemed to be making sense. “i like you, at this point maybe even love you. i understand its wrong because i’m your boss but the thought of loosing you today just broke me.” he said, sniffling again with a bitter smile. you couldn’t control the expression of shock on your face as your eyes widened considerably. your crush and boss just admitted his feelings for you.

“you like me?” you asked slowly, processing the information. clenching his jaw, he nodded, preparing himself mentally and emotionally for rejection and heart break. “i- uh, i completely understand.” he cracks a small smile. he begins to get up. “i’ll leave you alone so you can process every-“ you pull him down by his tie so that he was on top of you on the couch. you connected your lips with his slowly. he easily allowed you dominance which was surprising.

the both of you pulled away breathlessly. “i like you too.” you told him as you watched his cheeks tent red. he peels himself away from you, opting to sit beside you. it’s amazing how shy he got instantly after you pulled away, ears red as he played with his fingers. “i hope you know this means that i’m not taking my eyes off you. y’know, to make sure you don’t get hurt again,” he says with a nervous laugh.

“i won’t mind that.” you tell him, pulling him towards you again.

[calypsoff]

Fifteen. Part 2

Robyn looks so happy to see me and likewise, I love Robyn natural, she looks so beautiful with no makeup on “staring at me in awe, why?” Robyn giggled “nothing, just missed you” her thumb lightly stroked my cheek “I have been waiting for this moment, love you” she pecked my lips before getting off of me to stand “yes, so welcome to my new home! And I mostly did this to shut you up but also I think I needed a place to call my own, you’re right. This is Tina, she is my assistant. Tina this is Chris, my boyfriend” Robyn keeps giggling “we get to see the man behind her craziness, she has nonstop spoken about you, nice to have the official meet of her boyfriend” Tina shook my hand “same, I want to meet the people that work with Robyn, it’s good to know the people that surround her and give her that love too, and also she does love you guys too” I am being too goofy “you seem so sweet” let me stop “I didn’t expect what you did? Like seriously, your jet is amazing. It was so big, like I couldn’t stop my excitement, you legit did this for me. Thank you so much” wrapping my arms around Robyn “awww it’s ok, don’t say thank you. I appreciate you so much but, I don’t want you to like feel all nervous, but my family is in the living room, I told them you are coming they are aware. And they want to meet my man” oh no, I really thought this meet would be next day “oh ok, yeah” Robyn chuckled “let me show you to the bedroom first ok?” Nodding my head “see you soon Chris” Tina said as she walked off.

Her home is huge, it’s a maze. She went up the second part of the house and went up the steps “so this is my bedroom, I am still trying to get used to the home. I moved here yesterday so things are a little messy, but I am trying to pack things and then you came, but come in” entering through the double doors “wow” I sighed out, the bedroom is the same size as my apartment living too, looking to the bed “speechless, you got this little fire thing in here too!? Damn” placing my duffle bag down “let me take your case, look around. You mind if I go inside it. I will put your clothes in the walk in closet, make yourself at home” nodding my head “oh the lock, the code is two, eight, three, two” I mentioned, Robyn pushed the suitcase along, I am in shock with the size of the room, I feel like I am in the penthouse suite in a hotel. There is a few boxes around the room still, I can’t believe she bought a home because I kept teasing her about it. Slowly walking by the bed to see the double doors, it’s a balcony I know it. Pulling open the doors to the balcony “wow” her home is looking over Hollywood “damn” stepping onto the balcony overlooking the pool area, this is beautiful. This is really how the rich live, I am jealous. I feel like this is not real, like I am dreaming, and I will wake up. Robyn really is spoiling me already with the things, closing my eyes smiling. I feel at peace, I love that feeling and the heat, just so blissful to feel, I am happy.

I have been stood at the balcony for a while now, I am just in awe and see thought. Thinking about how blessed I am to be here, Robyn is really a blessing and I am here “what you think” moving back, turning to Robyn “that was quick?” I said “no it wasn’t, can tell you have been here for a while” Robyn placed her hand on the crook of my back, placing my arm around her shoulders “just taking it in, this is amazing Robyn. Thank you, for everything” Robyn is amazing for this “this is nothing Chris, stop it. You’re so graceful, I love that about you. So you left your ego in Texas!? I can tell” she knows it “I did, I am trying to be a better man for you, be appreciative and I am. Just able to see this Robyn, I never thought I would be blessed like this. To have love in me, to find you again. I was you know, so scared you wouldn’t notice me because maybe I did fall for you before, I just didn’t want to be rejected” I can see myself living here, wild of me to think that when I didn’t like the thought “Chris, when I saw you at my meet and greet, my heart skipped a beat. I am so happy you did, you literally are my peace and I needed that” I grinned, we are so in love and it’s crazy that I am finally expressing this. The way Robyn deserves, I am getting there anyways but I want to do good by her.

Robyn held my hand and led me back into the bedroom “are you ok yeah? You know with my family downstairs; they are aware of you so I don’t want you to be nervous but it means a lot to me. I was thinking I never actually asked if you would want to do that?” Robyn let my hand go and stood in front of me “it’s like going to the next level but I understand why you want too, I just hope they like me” I sighed out “they have known the name Chris since I went to America, when I used to call my mother I would tell her that I’m ok because Chris is taking care of me so the people downstairs is my close family, they ride for me, some friends too but not to worry you will get to know them all. The only person not here is my dad but yeah, I am feeling nervous for you, but I am excited, I am ready for you to meet them” I rather get this over with “once we get this done with, we can discuss what is going to happen next because going public I want you to be properly in the know, I know you will be ok. But yes, this is our bedroom. Until you go back” I smiled looking around “I love your bedroom, I want to put this fire on and sit in front of it” Robyn chuckled “it’s warm here be quiet” she thinks I am joking but I’m not “I am actually shocked at your hair, you really got it blonde? I mean it looks good on you, you look so damn sexy with it” Robyn touched the top of my head “I kind of miss yanking your hair, sex will be different” of course Robyn would say that “you complain when I have it long and then you complain when I shave it, woman” pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I love her so much and I missed her face.

I feel so nervous now, I can hear her family all talking and then it will be all eyes on me. Robyn is still holding my hand, I assumed she would have left my hand and walked off, but she remained next to me “they will love you, promise” she said in a whisper as she opened the door, I think the bedroom is grand, the living room is amazing. I want to stare in awe but I can’t, I have the family here. There is a bar in this living room, that is amazing and to have a bar in your room just like that. Her brother is the first person to clock me, he is behind the bar. He smiled as he looked down “Robyn bought her new boyfriend” he said, his accent is so thick. It was just like the time Robyn first came to America, but I understand him. The room went awfully silent, Robyn squeezed my hand “can we not overwhelm him, so Chris. My brother” she let my hand go “Rorrey, Chris, Rorrey” I did the thing, I walked over to the bar “hey, you good? I heard a lot about you” shaking his hand “good things I hope” he smiled nodding his head “you want anything to drink?” shaking my head, felling a hand on my back, Robyn is next to me “this is my baby brother, Rajad” Robyn hugged him close “look at his cute little face” I grinned at him “hey” shaking Rajad’ hand “is your hair blonde? I am sure it isn’t?” I laughed “this is Leandra, my loud ass friend. Keep your ass down there, the next lady in my life, Monica, mommy this is Chris” Monica got up from the couch “hello, good to meet, so long. I hear so much about you” I wasn’t sure if to hug or not, but I did, I hugged her like I would do my own mother “he is sweet, I am really glad to meet you” feeling my cheeks blush, I guess Robyn has spoken about me a lot “this is Noella my cousin” she came over to me “hi” shaking her hand “this is Mel, you know Mel. Then there is Sonita, Tina, Yusuf, Mel my designer he is also here. But the main event, Lionel. No Bravo sit down we can come to you. This is my grandpa” walking over to her grandpa “it’s ok, sit” I did say but he shook my hand “good to see you, Robyn can stop telling us now” I laughed, she must be really driving them crazy about me.

I feel so awkward, not even in a bad way just all eyes are on me and I am sat here while Robyn walked off, why did she just leave me. I am hot now, it is warm on these ends “you don’t look black” looking at Robyn’ friend “I am Caucasian that is why” I joked “I thought so, you just have this tiny ass nose. Just not black enough for me” I can already tell she is going to be annoying, like TJ I guess. Thank god Robyn is back, she got me a sprite, that is where she went. She held out the can to me as she sat down next to me “so like we heard that Robyn and you met in school? I mean we have heard it all” nodding my head “uh yeah, she came to Virginia and she different. She had this thick accent and the biggest bang, then I knew why. That forehead though” I chuckled “what do you do for work?” looking at her brother, the younger “drug dealer” Robyn scoffed hitting my leg, it just came out so natural like my bad “nothing right now, I just moved to Texas. There is no real reason to keep it a secret because it will come out anyways, but I got locked up for five years for possession, it’s something Robyn and I have discussed, and she knows about. I am not a bad guy, I just got caught up in bullshit, so I moved out of Virginia and starting fresh, with Robyn she is Robyn to me. I met her as her, seeing Rihanna is still weird to me because that side don’t phase me like that” I felt like I had to explain that “Robyn already told us, everybody makes mistakes. She is very protective of you, we have a list of things to ask and not ask and Rajad knew not to ask but he did” Monica said “I was just testing” he defended “it’s ok, I am a stubborn man. I didn’t want to come here; I sometimes don’t know how Robyn handles me because I refuse to do a lot of things and tell her I dislike it. Like I am not here for her money or anything, I come here to see Robyn and the family, and friends of course. I probably don’t deserve Robyn because of the things I have done but I will do my best to always make sure she is happy” Robyn really gave them a list “she was very fond of you, she went to Virginia, to see you more than anything but you weren’t there” I cooed out “busy making bad decisions, I ain’t that type of nigga anymore. I have changed” I am talking too much.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I feel like I am under investigation with everything they are asking “leave him alone now” Robyn placed her hand on my lap, we locked eyes “stop” I been shaking my leg, I didn’t realise until she did that “would you marry my daughter? For who she is? As herself, would you take care of her and be proud of her when the world is judging her? Can you take her for who she is, her previous boyfriends could not and it upsets me that she has to go through that and that these men can’t deal with how successful she is, even the famous men can’t deal, I want to know my daughter will be ok because she is in another relationship so suddenly” oh this is deep, I wasn’t expecting this “mother, I told you not to ask that. Yes we know each other but this is the first time we are dating; we didn’t get the chance back then. I said for you to not ask that” Robyn spoke up “it’s ok, I get it. I get that I am just a regular nigga that has come out of jail and I don’t have what Robyn has, I don’t have the money pouring out and getting all this fame and fortune, I don’t even want to go public with Robyn not because I am ashamed but I don’t like that life, I am going to be judged” her mother is full on, damn this is terrible “but are you going to be ok being in her shadow? That is the question, men find this hard” looking over at Robyn and she looked at me, Robyn knows me and she knows my ego, they got me hot but I am also not a liar “don’t answer it” she said in a whisper “Mrs Fenty, I am not a liar. When you say live in her shadow, I think that won’t be a thing. Robyn wants somebody to when she comes home too to be a man, I am not a weak nigga and she knows that. I wouldn’t ever disrespect Robyn to put her down but together we will work through it, if we don’t work through something or speak on it then we won’t work. I see how loved she is, and I do get it” I breathed out, what a mess.

I feel like Robyn feels I am annoyed with her, she is so quiet as everyone is talking but I feel personally that she may have expressed these concerns to her mother and now her mother has spoken on it, I was going to say to Robyn I am going to go for a smoke and for her to come but then someone, one of her friends said that the food is ready to eat but I guess so “come and eat with us” nodding my head, Robyn moved off of me so I could get up. Letting most of them file out before I got up from the couch “hey” grabbing Robyn’ arm so she didn’t walk off “yeah?” she said turning to me “let them go ahead” I said in a whisper and then smiled at her cousin or friend, I don’t know who the hell that was that probably heard me “what is it?” she asked, watching them walk off “why is it I feel that was your concern, like you spoke on that with your mom and now she has mentioned it you’re thinking oh shit, is that what you think? You think me being in your shadow is going to make us not work” I know that was Robyn all over saying it and her mother is now mentioning it “are you both coming?” her mother asked, I guess we go to go “I am not angry at you Robyn, I am asking is that it?” I am slightly annoyed “I was just talking to my mother, not in that context. I just said I am worried for you, it’s a lot but I never said that I am angry she said it” nodding my head “she cares, she sees the failed relationships you have had, it’s cool. We cool” just a headache I will have to deal with and hear a lot of the time.

Robyn is really sat on the end of the table, she is really head of this house which I understand because this is her home, her mother is on the other side. I am sat next to Noella and across from me is Rorrey and the rest follows but I feel like her brother was put there on purpose, I don’t know. I am not even hungry like that, too much going on my mind is just racing. I do not want to close off because once I do it’s hard to bring it open again, my ego is in Texas, but I feel judged, maybe it’s just me I am not sure “how is it being locked up? Just a real ass question, not being funny. Just you’re the first dude I have met that has been locked up” Rorrey asked “you lot are embarrassing me” Robyn said “he is intrigued, I am not mad at that, but I got five years which was supposed to be more, but I did what I had to do, I snitched on my own family member and the people involved and being locked up was the worst. The first place I was at I got jumped, I got moved and things got better. We had jobs in there, I just kept my head down and did my time. You see shit that you won’t forget, and you’re in there with three or four other niggas, so privacy you won’t get but it was nice to speak to people, but I swear the only thing you can do is think, I came out a different person. I feel like I kind of left myself there when I got released” I thought he was joking but Rorrey was genuine, he looked shocked “they say snitching is bad?” nodding my head “you right, but it’s that or being locked up for a lifetime, they don’t care about us black men. But I am out, I wasn’t going to go down for that long for something I did when I was being dumb” Rorrey nodded his head “my sister has done nothing but speak on you, she is so excited about you meeting us. You seem dope, from my point of view anyways. My mom worries about my sister” they can say that but I am still not happy about it because Robyn should speak to me but then maybe she felt she couldn’t, we all speak to our parents and they always end up saying something, I have been through it with my own mother but I hope the rest of the night gets better.

[nad-zeta]

Match up 😉

I am the bubbly cuddly kind of girl in the group who has a really good sense of humor and try to show sass tho filled with adorableness (YEA IM ADORABLE WAT WILL U DO BOUT IT)-w- your partner in crime. riding horse? FULL SPEEDDD pulling pranks? Ayee lemme in fam. sing a song?? MAMAAAAA OHOHOHHoHoH~~~~ everyones perverted straightforward darling, got a problem u cant solve? no sweetened words babe I will throw the facts o yo face I AM KAWAII thats wat everyone says tho #youdontgettojudgeme my teachers says I will be successful in life due to my out of the box thinking, leadership skills and academic performance YOAAAIIIIIII MO DAO ZU SHI BUNNNIIIIIESSSSSSSSSSSS(give me nobu not kenshin plz) HUUUUUGGGGSSSSS CUDDLESSSSSSS ANIME BOYS?? *SHHHHRRRIIIEEEEEKKKKK SO PERVERT EVEN SATAN BE BLESSING ME(welp mah parents are concerned) so single even my lips are virgin turns to glance at boys ass grabs my besties boobs quotes vines(LoOK At ThiS GrAPh~~~~~~~) overconfident, narcissistic , intelligent[?] (at least I’m a top student) but also insecured the student who reads for a week before exam and mange to get 90% marks thehehe LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL DINGDINGDINGDINH emails my English teacher ‘u’ instead of you still remain her prized student

Hi there, love! Thank you so much for the request 😃<3 I hope you are safe and well! ^0^ I hope you enjoy it, dear ^_^.  Your match just came to me, as if it were written in this very title hehe. ❤❤🔥

So obviously match you with…………… Nobunaga lol

OOOOh girl, when you first arrived in Azuchi, you entered with a bang. You walked straight into that audience hall with your head held high, ready to fight. You now stood in the center of the hall, staring Nobunaga down. The two of you were basically fighting for dominance with your glares. Nobunaga was the first to crack under the intense staring contest, giving you the smuggest grin. He proclaimed you to be their new lucky princess. You thought for a moment, shrug, and said: “Nah, I’m good, but thanx.” Everyone in the room had to do a double-take. Nobunaga’s ruby eyes gleamed in amusement. “then tell me what it is you want as a reward for saving me.” You thought for a few minutes and then responded: “Nah, no thanks needed, you seem like a chilled dude.” Nobunaga just smiles, you certainly were an outspoken, entertaining woman. He then named you as castle chatelaine. You were super happy with that, so you just beamed up at him. You went to take a seat next to Masamune, who was waving you over to him.

Once war council was over; it was only you, Nobunaga, and Masamune left in the room. You were by no means a shy gal, so you chatted freely with them like old friends. They were so surprised and amused at all your perverted jokes and couldn’t help but howl in laughter. You were truly a hilarious woman. The three of you made jokes until Mamayoshi came to remind Nobunaga and Masamune of their duties for the day; they left to do their duties, leaving you all alone now with Hideyoshi. This boi thought from the moment he saw you, that you were going to be trouble. 

However, you pleasantly surprised at him. You worked incredibly hard, and you performed your duties diligently, often exceeding all expectations of you.

Nobunaga wasted no time in spending every possible moment with you. You were such a strange woman, and he couldn’t help but feel incredibly attracted to you. It didn’t even bother him that you had now dubbed him as Nobie. Much to Hideyoshi’s disapproval. But Nobunaga loved how outspoken you were, and low key kinda liked the nickname. He loved that you were always up for any and all adventures, and often the two of you would sneak out the castle and go horse riding. You loved to ride fast and feel the wind in your hair. He really enjoyed these little horse-riding trips with you as it was always filled with laughter and jokes. He loved the fact that you laughed at all his jokes and would always have a comeback leaving the devil king howling in laughter. The two of you would always race back to the castle, to see who the better horse rider was, you always seemed to lose much to your frustration. 

You and Nobunaga truly became super good friends really fast. He would often refer to you as his partner in crime. This was due to the fact that most nights, the two of you would be huddled around a makeshift drawing of the castle planning your candy heist. The two of you would plan everything to perfection, and then after executing a perfect heist, go back to Nobunaga’s room to chomp down on your precious candy loot.

Hehe and you truly fell in love with Nobunaga. You loved how even though he was the ruler and leader of a big clan, he just had this playful fun boyish energy about him. You two goofball are also known for pulling pranks on everyone in the castle in your free time. These pranks will range from putting whoopie cushions on Hideyoshi’s chair and then making a bunch of fart jokes, to messing with the silver kitsune. Although in saying that, you only pranked the silver kitsune once and never again cause that boi is the pranking master and will get you back x2 as bad. Like one time, the two of you just replaced his shampoo with honey, a harmless prank. But boy oh boy, did this kitsune get you back. This boy placed blue dye in all the bathrooms water supply, so when you and Nobunaga went to bath that night, both your bodies were turned blue from the waist down. You honestly thought that it was Nobu’s doing so you marched your way up to his room and slammed his door open only to run into him, storming his way to your room to blame you for the same crime. That is when Mitsuhide appeared and warned both of you against pranking him again.

Even though Nobunaga really loved you, he greatly underestimated your intelligence, which is a mistake he only made one. One day while the two of you were goofing off together, you spotted the latest war map and asked him about it. He explained the war strategies and plans for the upcoming battle in great detail. You looked over the board and map, something seemed off to you. The two of you continued on your day chatting and laughing, while something tugged at the back of your mind. That night you thought about the battle plans and strategies and realized they were slightly off and that they had too little men spread across the plain to successfully win the battle. You went up to Nobunaga to explain this when he basically just rejected your whole explanation. You legit told the facts to him straight, the two of you continued to bicker until you left the room in frustration slamming the door behind you.

You hadn’t spoken to Nobunaga in 2 days, and both of you were now off to war. You helped out around the camp, cooking and patching up injured soldiers. You and Nobunaga low key were avoiding each other, and EVERYONE noticed. It was the night before the final battle, and things weren’t looking too good for the Oda forces, you made your way to Nobunaga’s tent to give him the facts once again, and again he just ignored you. The next day shit was hitting the fan big time. Sweet angel Mitsunari arrived back in the camp being super injured, and that’s when you decided it was now or never. If Nobunaga continued the stupid ass battle strategy, he was gonna get himself killed, and it was no fun being mad at a dead man. You led Mitsunari into the medical tent and handed off your duties as the head doctor to one of the helpers. You then mounted Mitsunari’s horse and rounded up his troops. The lot was honestly running around like headless chickens without leadership. 

You rode out onto the field, remembering the battle plan you wanted to implement to strengthen the Oda’s defenses, they were weakest at the point that Nobunaga took control of. You rode like the speed of light, praying that you weren’t too late. You sent a silent thanks to Sasuke as you still had his smoke bombs, he had gifted you the first night. You rode to support Nobunaga and threw down the smoke bombs, giving you the perfect cover to command your troops to file a flurry of arrows at the enemies and thus giving everyone enough time to retreat and regroup. You saw Nobunaga fighting on foot, and you rode you him, tugging him to get onto your horse.

The two of you rode back to camp. You led him to your tent and patched him up as quick as you could, while patching you up he asked about your strategy, this time listening open-mindedly. After being patched up, he left your tent and was off to the battlefield was more. That night the Oda arrived back victorious, thanks to your and Mitsunari’s improvised battle plan. Nobunaga led you to his tent and apologized for underestimating you and thanked you for your bravery and leadership. After what he had seen, he was determined to make you his queen. He cradled your head in his hands and kissed you for the first time.

The two of you, goofballs make the cutest couple. You had discovered that the devil king is a secret cuddle lover. He loves to hug and cuddle you at all times, whether you are in public or private this boi wants you in his arms. He will devote his life to keeping you happy and will shower you with love and cuddles from sunset to sunrise. He loves laying his head in your lap while you sing to him at night. It’s one of those rare moments that he feels truly at peace and can let his guard down. Well, that is until you start tickling him, then you better be in for a long night cause this boi will get revenge for this playful declaration of war. (^_-)

All and all, this softi boi love you so much from your crazy good sense of humor to your sweet soft cuddles. You are truly the yin to his yang. And the only woman worthy enough in the whole world to rule the world by his side

 Other potential matches……………..Masamune 

I hope you liked it, dear!🔥❤ 

[enkisstories]

Just like them

- Short Detroit Become Human fanfic starring Daniel - - Close enough to canon, not my Sims!AU - November 15, 2038 Park Avenue

Daniel placed his hand on the door lock. However, the device rejected his request almost instantly.

ACCESS DENIED

It wasn’t just a string of bright letters, the message additionally burned itself into the android brain. And although the narrative went that androids didn’t feel pain, the sharp sting of the “Nope” signal along with all the emotions it triggered in Daniel’s deviant mind were unpleasant to say the least.

“Shit!”

Daniel raised his hand – or rather, he moved his shoulder to lift the replacement arm and hand up, spare parts salvaged from other unfortunates that had found themselves in the DPD’s evidence archive. Just when the new limbs had started to feel less like prostheses and more like parts of himself, the android had to receive a reminder to the fact that this wasn’t the case. His real hand was lost and with it the RFID tag that would have opened the door to the Phillips apartment.

Daniel wondered briefly the key to which door he was carrying now, because some signal had gotten exchanged between the hand and the door lock. If there had been no key present at all, the door would just have stayed silent instead of bellowing its “Access denied” at the intruder.

A shutdown police auxiliary beyond repair had “donated” Daniel’s new legs, but also the hand? Daniel didn’t remember. It hadn’t mattered earlier that day when they had set him more or less free.

And now the android he was standing here, with an electronic cuff somewhere in his system, a novel worth of parole terms in his head, but fresh out of an emergency override keycard for his own home.

I should have went with that guy from Jericho when he offered it. But, noooooo, I HAD to do this alone, because I don’t NEED help at all. And I shouted at him, so there’s no turning back now. It’s getting dark anyway. And ‘sides, I have a right to this flat! It’s my inheritance, the pay for four years of service, no way I’m going to live in, what was it, a wrecked cruise ship or something? No way!

Tap,tap,tap… jingle,jingle,jingle… swoosh

Daniel exited the elevator and only when the doors closed behind him did he realize that he had just traveled downwards by one floor without actually having decided to do so.

Check. Deviant brain doing deviant stuff. They warned me about this.

Daniel’s subconsciousness had taken over, now the question was where had it taken him?

Looking around Daniel discovered that he was standing right in front of an apartment door, one hand raised slightly, obviously in an attempt to ring the doorbell. The nameplate that went with the bell read “Rasoya”.

Ah, right, that was familiar territory. The Rasoyas were the Phillips’ direct downstairs neighbors. They had helped them out by taking Emma when her parents were out and with sugar, flour and eggs that Caroline tended to forget to stock up in sufficient quantity. That had been before Daniel had joined the household, of course, but even with the Phillips owning a state of the art household assistant made by CyberLife now the families had remained… close?

I have always assumed we were close, but looking back I feel “habitually on speaking terms” is more precise.

Someone was stirring now inside the apartment and a female voice rose up:

“I think I heard someone at the door! Will you take a look?”

“Yes, it’s me!” Daniel shouted back, then rang the bell.

Someone was looking through a spyhole, not trusting the electronic security camera, then opened the door. Before it was fully open, Daniel already gasped at the person behind it: “Can I borrow a crowbar, please, Mrs. Rasoya? I need to break into the Phillips apartment!”

Mrs. Rasoya laughed so hard at this that the toddler boy she was holding was shaking violently. Reflexively Daniel grabbed him while Mrs. Rasoya was still trying to get a grip on herself. Eventually the woman said:

“Daniel Phillips – the most polite android revolutionary ever.”

“Calm down, calm down!” Daniel shushed the human. “I’m not with Markus or whoever, I don’t even have a clear idea what exactly’s going on!”

I mean, when have I ever? I lived in an illusion all my existence, believing myself appreciated… sheltered… Going by my experience Markus could just be another Connor: playing nice, but harboring ulterior motives.

“They just…”

Looking for a familiar term in all the madness that was the present, the android continued:

“…let me out of prison and here I am, but I can’t enter my own damn apartment!”

“Own dan apartment!” little Caden Rasoya repeated cheerfully, at which his grandmother demanded the kid to get returned to her.

“Raj, dear?” she called into the apartment and a few heartbeats later her adult son, Caden’s father, appeared. Raj was a gourmet chef and his body was certainly looking the part, although he tended to dress extremely casually at home.

“Would you accompany Danny here upstairs to break down the Phillips’s door, Raj?”

“You know what, mom?” Raj laughed out loud. “This is by far the most normal request I’ve heard those last few days.”

Daniel watched Mrs. Rasoya retreat into her home where she picked up an old handheld gaming device that she had been playing on. He heard Caden giggle. The TV was running, Caden giggled some more, but then listened intently to his mother, who was explaining something connected to the evening children’s show they were watching. Everything was so normal!

Why were the Rasoyas still here, Daniel wondered? Were the feeling that the worst was behind them and deeming it save to stay in Detroit, even though the president had arranged an evacuation of a scope that put to shame even the annual floods? Were these humans maybe just as attached to their territory as Daniel himself was? Regardless of the possible consequences? In retrospect, what if Caroline had still been here tonight? Or – was she, maybe?!

“Uh… Is Caroline…?” Daniel started asking Raj.

“Left Detroit. In fact, she didn’t even wait for the presidential nudge to do so.”

“Ah.”

Raj grabbed the doorknob and with his head motioned the android to join him.

“Come in!”

“But I need to…”

“No way I’m trying to kick in a sturdy apartment door, least of all with security still intact”, Raj explained. “And neither should you do that, with a criminal record on your head. You have one…?”

“Yes, yes, it’s all legit. The DPD knows I’m here, but, fuck, I should have asked for an escort to actually get into my home.”

“You certainly picked up some language there that you didn’t know before”, Raj commented, still more amused than wary. Definitely wary, too, but not to an extent that prevented the man from acting civilly.

“But what am I to do now?”

“You’ll want to take the balcony route, Daniel. Climb up from our balcony and find your door. It was never properly repaired after… the incident, you should be able to push it open easily.”

“That’s that Connor’s fault!” Daniel spat. “It doesn’t respect anything!”

And that were the last words he exchanged with the Rasoyas. Without even a “thanks” the deviant made haste towards the balcony, jumped onto the railing and started scaling the apartment building like an ape. A PL600 wasn’t particularly strong, but their dexterity and eye-hand-coordination had to be rated outstanding even compared to other androids. Daniel was also rather agile, although he suspected that was a personal feat, nothing hard-coded in his system specs. And of course his new PC200 legs were also contributing to his athletic ability.

*

Inside the Phillips home Daniel didn’t linger much in the apartment proper, but instead went straight to the fish tank in the floor.

“Huey, Dewey, Louie… everyone still there!” he noticed with relief. “It’s feeding time, gentlemen! – Hehe, yes, go for it! No need to fight, there’s more where this is coming from!”

Smiling the android watched the fish gorge themselves. When had been the last time they had been fed, he wondered? So typical of Caroline! Flaunting the family fortune, but possessed of a total disregard of actual living beings. Like those of the ornamental fish she had left behind to their fate. Or her android’s…

Daniel had never given his artificial lung much thought. They were just there, moving his chest to make him appear more lifelike. Now the deviant realized how this particular biocomponent came in handy: he sighed deeply.

Moving back into the apartment Daniel almost expected to find John’s tablet. Of course after all this time it wouldn’t be there anymore. Or at least it would no longer display the order confirmation for the AP700, where John had ticked the “Disposal of old device at no extra cost” option. There had been another option, also at no extra cost: to donate the old android to charity. It would have taken the man no longer than two minutes to choose an organization from a dropdown list, but John Phillips hadn’t wanted anybody to mooch from something he had payed good money for. He had said so aloud and that comment had alerted Daniel to what was going on in the first place.

John’s greed and antisocial tendencies might very well have saved my life!

Daniel shooed this thought and looked around some more.

Pictures of Emma, John and Caroline, sometimes alone, then again as a family or with various friends, were everywhere. Of their android there was no sign and hadn’t been before the incident. Daniel felt a little like visiting the Dursleys with all the pictures of Dudders and no hint whatsoever that another boy was living at Privet Drive…

He picked up one of the framed pictures. It showed the family gathered under a Christmas Tree. The spheres, bells, stars and pine cones were all made from real glass and in between hang handmade charms fashioned by Emma. The Phillips didn’t believe in anything transcendental, neither god, nor magic. But even so they had followed the traditions and actually gained something from them. There had been an unusual warmth around that time of year each year.

Daniel put back the photograph. Suddenly the glass ornaments were too bright, the fishtank next door too loud and even the carpet his feet were touching was too rough. The deviant hunkered down and buried his head in his arms. Thirium tried to get up and out through his nose. Daniel didn’t understand what was happening to him. His system status hadn’t been that bad this morning!

Stay in… stay in… I don’t want to die! Only, I feel like dying… But I don’t want to! It’s not fair!

Daniel had sat there hunched over and crying for a while, when suddenly the door rang. A jolt went through the android’s body. Daniel jumped up and the weak, but steady stream of skin fluid mixed with blue blood came to a halt. The android wiped it away and licked the thirium from his new fingers before opening the door.

“Hey, Geeta”, Daniel greeted the visitor. “Afraid I might shut down from sorrow all alone up here?”

The words sounded like an accusation…

“Nah.” Mrs. Rasoya shook her head. “Not you. In fact, I reckon you are unable to suicide.”

“Huh? How would you know?”

Geeta walked past Daniel. She grabbed one of the family photographs at random and turned it for Daniel to get a good look at it.

“Dogs take after their owners, children after their parents and androids… androids take after their masters.”

“That’s utter bullshit!” the deviant flared up. “And even if it wasn’t, it wouldn’t apply to me! I’m a de…”

“Deviant, Daniel? For deviants what I said goes even more so, because of your emotions.”

“I may have acquired some of those, so what?!”

“The Phillips couple, too, was never one for thinking before acting… for taking a step back from their desires… or for putting themselves into others’ shoes.”

Daniel started to yell again, but was cut short:

“What kindness they had, manifested indirectly only - in their little girl and in their household assistant.”

“Huh.”

“Not what you wanted to hear, I know.”

Daniel took the picture.

“Me? Being like them?”

“It’s true.”

The deviant smiled warmly, not unlike when he had watched his fishes. For several moments he stood there, content with the world and himself. But then he jerked around his arm and smashed the frame against the nearest wall.

“They never were my family!!!”

Geeta shrugged and said her goodbyes.

“You know where to find us if you want to borrow gelignite or whatever a modern deviant might need”, she said. The woman had meant it as a joke, but as she gently closed the door behind herself, she wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

[atopearth]

The Men of Yoshiwara: Ohgiya Part 3 - Gakuto Route

It’s interesting to see the mother’s different priorities towards Kiyoha in each route lol. For Gakuto, it seems like Kiyoha’s considered an adult after her first visit to Yoshiwara, so now she’s to be trained to take over the business as the new head. Although he Gakuto really made the worst impression on her by forcefully kissing her as an apology for making her wait, I did find it interesting that Kiyoha didn’t enjoy it at all and hated it haha, I guess I can see why Gakuto would be interested. He’s confident, he’s popular, there’s probably many women who would happily take that kiss, yet she rejected it so adamantly haha. Although, for a lot of the arguments they have, I do feel like she took the fighting a bit too far, Gakuto helped keep her in line by speaking out honestly that although they’re both prideful, it’s not like they really wanted to fight, they just don’t like to back down from one another though. I never really realised that Gakuto could also choose to reject clients, nice to know that they do have a bit more freedom than it seems. It’s kinda saddening though, just as Gakuto is forced to serve clients as a geisha, Kiyoha is just as entrapped by her circumstances since she feels that she must court Gakuto so that she can have the influence and connections of interacting with a popular geisha, as well as bear a worthy heir for her family through him. Everyone is so bound to their duty and their fate, it’s actually rather disheartening.

I found it endearing that Gakuto pushed her in order to make her forcefully acknowledge and understand that she wasn’t ready. I’m sure there were other ways to do it, but Kiyoha is really stubborn and prideful, so I think him pushing her down and kissing her was the only way for her to admit that she couldn’t do it after all. It was sweet how he properly listened to Kiyoha and backed off when he knew she wasn’t ready to sleep with him. I also liked how considerate he was by reassuring her that it was fine and that she should just be honest with her feelings, and not force herself just because this is something she needs to do. Hmm, Gakuto is looking for his sister, but he’s from the mainland so it’s weird that she would be on this island…hmm, I wonder what his circumstances are. Wow, okay, that escalated really fast. Honestly, Kiyoha was pretty overbearing to force him to reveal his eye under the eye patch just so she can see whether he has a scar and is the man the woman who went to her store talked about. Like, seriously, Kiyoha really could have handled it better, but instead she hurt Gakuto by forcefully seeing his scarred eye and digging up his personal life by invading his privacy rather than asking him. But I see, he is the guy that woman was talking about, guess they did not end amicably if she scarred his eye, and he scarred her forehead. I wonder what Gakuto wants revenge on her for though, I feel like the scar isn’t the main reason.

I love Gakuto. He can be all superfluous and sexy when he wants to be, but other times, he could be so crude and brutally honest, it’s pretty hilarious to see. It was expected, but to think that Gakuto’s mother sold him as a kid to Yoshiwara for alcohol expenses was saddening to hear, but I think the worst thing was that she sold him to one of the worst stores in Yoshiwara, where all the sick geisha are and where all the “fallen” geisha would be etc. Just imagining how devastating of a place it could have been makes me shudder, it sounds like a place full of death. I’m glad Gakuto had a friend; even though he died eventually. When Gakuto said he didn’t deserve someone honest and pure like her since the higher up he is as a geisha, the more dirty he is, I really liked Kiyoha’s answer. She just told him to make himself cleaner by being with her more, since he said that his heart feels cleaner when he’s with her haha. I’m glad Kiyoha was able to take Gakuto to his friend’s “grave” (considering their store and status, dead geisha get thrown together into a nameless grave) and reminisce about the things they talked about. They felt like such precious memories. Lmaoo at Utsusemi and his big mouth, he legit just tells everything about Gakuto to Kiyoha, it’s so funny to see Gakuto tell him to shut up hahahaha. It’s funny how Ageha has a loose mouth too, they all just casually tell Kiyoha about how importantly Gakuto regards her lol. So cute how Gakuto is very fond of candy though hahaha.

Although their first time ended up happening in questionable way, it was understandable why Gakuto was so enraged and yet so sad when doing it. Kiyoha forcefully stopped him when he finally found the woman who gave him the scar, and tried to comfort him with herself, which I felt was understandable from her perspective. She’s been wanting to protect him this whole time now that she’s closer to him, and I can see why she would be willing to do anything if it would satiate his wrath. She just wants him to be the happy person that he is with Utsusemi and Ageha… I see, Gakuto wants revenge because this woman was supposed to elope with Yoshino (his dead friend) since they were in love, but on the day of the elopement, she never appeared, and Yoshino was captured and punished cruelly, thus leading to his death. Considering that she was the first one to fall in love and go kinda crazy about it (she slashed Gakuto with a razor during one of her quarrels with Yoshino?), I’m curious about what the true reason for her not appearing actually is. It’s saddening that this caused Gakuto to unable to find it within himself to truly trust love, nor to truly invest himself in friends since he believes that it will only hurt him, and he can’t take that anymore. It’s so painful to hear that Gakuto had since then spent all his life rising up in the ranks as a geisha just because he wanted a better information network to find this woman and get revenge on her. It’s heartbreaking to think that it’s the only thing keeping him alive. It was sweet of Kiyoha to tell him that despite what he says, he’s someone that’s a big softie, no matter how much he wants to distance himself from others, he’s too kind, it’s impossible for him to really not care about Utsusemi and them.

I thought it was really sweet how Gakuto specially ordered fireworks in the shape of flowers for Kiyoha, it was really cute how they played with the sparklers🥰 I think it’s nice that regardless of what burdens Gakuto is carrying, he can’t help but feel a sort of fondness towards Kiyoha. If this was real life, I’d be sceptical of Kiyoha going to Utsusemi and Ageha for advice on what to do about Gakuto and his revenge, especially since she barely knows them, and who knows if they’re really friends with Gakuto or enemies considering their work. Anyway, this is an otome game and all the LIs should be good boys so we’ll ignore that hahaha. I’m just glad Kiyoha consulted someone before Gakuto did anything rash I guess. Tbh, when Gakuto plead to Kiyoha asking her to not abandon him, and that she promised to stay with him forever, my heart really broke. I know she just wanted him to come to his senses and stop focusing on revenge, but the way she said things to the broken Gakuto really hurt. I’m glad she didn’t really leave though. Gakuto’s plan to use Utsusemi and sacrifice him to get the woman (by telling the authorities that they’re trying to elope) really showed how much hate is within his heart, as well as how much he is willing to give up all his emotions and relationships for this revenge plan. I’m glad Kiyoha got them to spread rumours that Gakuto might be thinking of eloping just so the others at Ohgiya would watch him like a hawk, it’s a pretty good idea considering she can’t be there 24/7. Considering what their relationship was like in the beginning, I find it really sweet how much she wants to protect him now, and how unconditionally supportive she is towards his worrying mental state. Seeing him finally sleep peacefully when she was by his side was really nice but saddening. I found it really heartwarming to see Asagiri and Takigawa both worry over Gakuto due to the rumour spreading a bit more crazy than I thought it would. It’s saddening that Gakuto can’t see how important he is to other people. I can see why Musashi would want Kiyoha to just choose another geisha, especially considering how dangerous it could become. My heart broke when he said he will always devote his life to Kiyoha and that’s why he wasn’t able to agree with her actions, it hurt when she said she’ll set him free then, she’s so blind to everything else but Gakuto🥺

I kinda got scared that Gakuto really was going to kill the woman and they would have to stop him from getting too crazy lol. But it seems that Kiyoha’s feelings finally got through to him, and all he really wanted was for the woman to apologise to Yoshino’s grave. Can’t really blame the woman for going nuts and being scared of Gakuto tbh lol. Can you believe it though? The reason she didn’t go to elope with Yoshino was because she didn’t think he’d take it so seriously. Like wow, knowing the consequences, who would joke about it? And why would they give you a time and place and everything if they weren’t serious? She obviously just abandoned him and wanted to make herself feel better by saying she didn’t think he’d take it so seriously. It’s honestly disgusting that to this day she still can’t admit that her actions caused his death. I find it saddening that Yoshino loved such a selfish woman. On the other hand, because Gakuto left Ohgiya to look for her (and end up finding Kiyoha!) so now he’s been like jailed for running away… The only good thing is that everyone knows about this revenge story now, so they’re not too harsh with him. It’s kinda ironically funny that his popularity is booming even though he’s in jail lol. And he’s back in a jiffy! 

Honestly, the thing with the woman got a bit draggy, but honestly it was heartwrenching when Gakuto talked about how before all this was resolved, he would always dream about the day Yoshino was screaming as he got captured, then beat up as punishment, and when Gakuto finally had the chance to sneak food to him, all he found was his lifeless body. It’s just so terrible to think that he had to experience something like that with someone so important to him when he was so young, it’s understandable for him to have been so adamant about revenge. I think it’s pretty cool how Gakuto paid off his own debt, it really shows how popular and well loved he was with customers and the people at Ohgiya. I found it hilarious how corny and cheesy Gakuto was on their wedding day, but I think it was really sweet and refreshing to compare to how he was towards Kiyoha in the beginning. It really shows how honest and heartfelt his feelings for her were because he couldn’t word it in any other way. It made me so happy to see them happy like this considering everything that happened. The other ending is pretty interesting! I kinda like that in this ending, he does get married with Kiyoha, but instead of taking care of her business alongside her, he stays as the keeper of Ohgiya to maintain order and protect the district, I feel like with what happened to Yoshino, it’s something he would like to do so that such a tragedy wouldn’t happen again to anyone else. Omgg is this the only route where Kiyoha actually has a kid?! Because dang is their kid cute lmao. I loved the sequel!! It was so sweet to see a lightened up Gakuto playing with kids and being so loving and protective over Kiyoha, I enjoyed it! Kinda wish it was longer but it’s all good.

Overall, I think I love Gakuto the most. I honestly didn’t expect it because I didn’t like the eyepatch look, but I’m actually impressed and happy that there was a reason for the eyepatch, I honestly thought it was just going to be a design thing hahaha. I think what I loved most about this route is that even though it was dramatic, I felt that it was done really well. I also liked the transition of Gakuto and Kiyoha being like a playful stubborn couple that weren’t able to really show their affection until Gakuto’s past caused him to nearly mentally break. I think it showcased nicely the ups and downs of a relationship (in a dramatic way of course) that wasn’t too contrived. I felt that the portrayal of Gakuto’s pain, his grief, his fear and his indecision alongside his love for Kiyoha was done really nicely, especially when accompanied with Kiyoha’s unrelenting love for him and protection of him. I also really loved how much Utsusemi and Ageha was a part of it as Gakuto’s friends and to help Kiyoha save Gakuto since she couldn’t do it by herself, I think it’s great to see that it wasn’t just love that was able to help him, but it was also because his friends were there that everything could be resolved in it’s own way. I also liked how things weren’t resolved as peacefully as it could have been if the writers wanted something cliche (since it ended with the woman’s accidental death), it really felt like they thought about it imo hahaha. Anyway, I really enjoyed this route!

[medschoolash]

I love your metas and was wondering what you think of this one written by the incredible athimbleful that says that Jon and Dany will return to Dragonstone as it seems in the trailer. (Can't add the link but it's in her profile, it's an answer to an ask (last one I think). Would Jonsa know about their feelings before or after marriage? How will it work? What will happen with Dany now? How will she react to the discoveries/changes in her beliefs and plans? I love long answers so ;P Thankyou xoxo

first, sorry this took me a few days, my computer charger died on me and I wanted to answer once I had my computer back since answering on mobile sucks. 

second, I’m so honored you like my metas! I’m always self conscious about my GOT commentary because I’ve never read the books and I feel like so many people know wayyy more stuff than I do! 

 I read the meta you mentioned and it’s pretty interesting. I’m not sure about Jon going back to dragonstone personally but the argument made for the theory was pretty legit. I personally think Jon will be in the north and back in King’s Landing this season, any other places are a toss ups for me 

I think Jonsa would know about their feelings before marriage. I’m one of the Jonsa stans that thinks their feelings are already known but not quite acknowledged for what they are. I don’t believe they are currently madly in love and pining for each other at all times, but I think they are aware of a shared affection between them that can’t be categorized as affection between siblings even if they can’t acknowledge it as romantic in nature just yet. I think Sansa knows that Jon makes her feel safe, protected, seen, and heard. She trusts him, genuinely trusts him and wants him at her side because he’s the comfort of family AND the assurance of a spouse. These feelings are naturally confusing for her but they are welcomed because she’s been denied all of these things for so long. For Jon I think it’s the same, only the affection is very unwelcome on his end. I think naturally Jon would feel like this affection towards Sansa is sort of a curse that she doesn’t deserve when she’s already had suck terrible relationships with men. He’s supposed to be her solid rock, he’s not supposed to see her and see everything he’s ever wanted. She makes him feel seen and heard as well, she’s also the comfort of family and the assurance of a spouse and he knows exactly what that means but he can’t acknowledge it because it causes self loathing. 

As for how will Jon and Sansa work goes, I’m assuming you mean as a hypothetical relationship post-marriage. I think that it will work well. They will give each other something that very stable and sure. Something they don’t have to second guess or work hard at because the love it already there. Ned and Cat had to build love brick by brick but Sansa and Jon won’t have to do that even though their love with be just as solid and unwavering as Ned and Cat’s was. I think they will balance each other out and navigate the uneasy terrain of sustaining love and happiness in a political environment that doesn’t prioritize either of those things. It would be easy to take all of this to mean that their relationship would be without passion, but I think that the intimacy of their relationship will lend itself to lots of passion between them. Will it be grand gestures of PDA, youthful excursions around the north, and pulling each other into broom closets in the middle of the day? No, but I think Jon would love Sansa fiercely and unrestrained and Sansa would welcome the full heat of that love. She would let it scorch her every day if she could and that’s where their passion comes from. 

As far as what will happen to Dany now...well she’s gonna continue to be the odd woman out on the north and I think she’s going to continue to see that she’s in over her head but she will be too stubborn to admit it. She’s had warning sign after warning sign since she stepped foot on the shores of dragonstone but she has ignored every single one of those signs. The game of thrones is nothing like the conquering she did in essos. She believed for years that all she needed was her dragons and an army and westeros would be hers, only to get here and realize that half of westeros doesn’t want a savior and the other half has already chosen one. Instead of reevaluating her plans and goals she went full steam ahead and got her ass handed to her by a woman with no dragons and control on only 40% of the realm. Instead of using that as a wakeup call she blamed the problem on her not embracing her natural urges to reign fire and blood, so that’s what she did.....and yet she still gained nothing and only harmed her cause even more. She still had to go to KL to beg cersei for a truce because as soon as she looked elsewhere her weak hold on her little gains would be nonexistent. Now she’s in the north once again thinking she’s going to be embraced as a savior and the love of their chosen leader would make them more open to embracing her, only to realize that the north are stubborn and proud and will not buy into her persona. Their rejection will drive her nuts but she’s going to attempt to tame her impulses, but I doubt that lasts long. I don’t for a second think that Dany is equipped to play the political games that will come after the battle for the dead is won because she’s never been that politically astute before and she’s refused to learn from all of her past mistakes. She’s impulsive, she trusts the wrong people, and she believes in her own exceptionalism too much. That will be her undoing and when she sees it happening in front of her eyes she will not handle it well AT ALL, which means we should expect to see a lot of her darker impulses come to surface. She will grow frustrated, paranoid, impatient, and desperate and that combination of traits in a Targaryen with control of a dragon doesn’t bode well for the realm. 

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 6 “Alone In The Woods”

I stan one grandma and one silver-eyed warrior.

Seriously though. Ruby and Maria were the MVPs of this episode and one of the things I want to emphasize going into this recap—right here, right now—is that the Brunswick grimm didn’t create the feelings of hopelessness and inevitability that the girls are fighting against, they enhanced it. To a staggering degree, yes, but these feelings aren’t just coming out of nowhere and I think it would be a mistake to go, “See! All this negativity regarding the mission was just a result of The Apathy. They’ll be fine now that they’re away from the farm.” They’ll be better, but I don’t think they’ll be fine. We saw hints of the girls’ dwindling hope before the farm and we get one clear hint of it after they’ve left. More significantly, we can see a correlation between how much The Apathy affected them and how hopeful the character is outside of its influence. Basically, in descending order we’ve got:

Maria

Ruby

Oscar

Weiss

Yang/Blake

Qrow

Ozpin (currently)  

I’ll be spending a fair bit of this recap pointing out moments where we see these differences between the characters because it’s an excellent writing tool. Here we have a literal event also functioning as a metaphor, in which The Apathy’s power allows us to witness an over-the-top display of the characters’ feelings; an overt summary of where everyone is at right now. And though these feelings will no doubt become more nuanced now that they’re away from the farm, they certainly haven’t disappeared.

But let’s start at the beginning.

We open with a shot of the moon, which has so much more significance now that we know Remnant’s history. I mean there’s a whole lot of philosophical and symbolic stuff we could delve into—Humanity is broken! Scattered! It needs to be made whole and/or we need accept that the moon is still a good moon even if we can’t make it ‘perfect’!—but honestly I just see it, think of the Gods, and mentally go, “You bastards.”

As people already pointed out when we got the sneak peek, Ruby is separating herself from the group while everyone else sits close together: her team huddled shoulder to shoulder as Oscar and Maria fill the rest of the room. Qrow is obviously separating himself too, though it says a lot about her thought process that when Ruby reminds him that he can talk to her and Yang, that advice doesn’t extend to herself. We don’t see Ruby seeking out the physical comfort of her team and we certainly don’t see her voicing her fears—biting off complaints in front of Weiss was a perfect example. Ruby is great at pinpointing what other people need without attributing the same things to herself. Because she’s the young prodigy. She’s team leader. She’s the one with silver eyes. Regardless of what aspect of her personality you pick out, Ruby is always the one with responsibility on her shoulders and therefore the one who can’t afford to break. We see a lot of that in this episode.

Qrow has moved onto a whole bottle now and stares morosely out the window. He notes that the storm is lessening and that they’ll be able to leave at sunrise. Ruby says that’s good and Qrow follows it with a, “No. I don’t have a good feeling about this place. Especially with me around.” This exchange is their current relationship in a nutshell: Ruby finds the silver lining, Qrow immediately shuts her down. And of course it all comes back to self-loathing. It might look like things are getting better, but remember that I’m here. So no, they won’t stay good for long.

What’s perhaps most aggravating is the continued cruelty that worms its way into Qrow’s pessimism. He doesn’t just give a fake smile and assure Ruby he’s fine, like many other characters would. He rolls his eyes at her concern and gives a sarcastic “Suuuure.” Qrow doesn’t just reject Ruby’s support, he finds it stupid. That response was very much a, Really? You want to know if I’m okay? Don’t ask stupid questions, kid—which is a kind of personal attack that Ruby doesn’t deserve, in the same way Oscar didn’t deserve to have his identity rejected just because Qrow is struggling with his own.

Keep in mind that throughout all of this I’m still aware that The Apathy is impacting their mood. But as said at the beginning, all these emotions are real. Qrow doesn’t get a free pass for his attitude just because The Apathy is making it easier for him to act on the way he feels. 

Meanwhile, Maria’s bedtime story is a series of diaries and damn, that woman reads fast! She’s already on volume three by the time everyone comes back inside and she’s learned plenty about how difficult it was for people to build here. Blight, expenses, cold… and yes, grimm. It was by no means an easy settlement. And though it’s just a small line thrown into a larger explanation, I’m interested in the fact that these people apparently wanted to live on their own despite so many difficulties. We don’t hear much about those outside of the Kingdoms—with the exception of Blake’s history—and that this group would weather all this hardship for the chance to live independently says a lot about how not everyone is happy with the system Ozpin set up after the Great War.

Ruby interrupts Maria’s story to announce that “Qrow said we should get some sleep.” Notably not Uncle Qrow. Everyone immediately stands with the exception of Maria who has the best reaction, delivering in a caustic voice:

“The last thing you’ll catch me doing is letting some kid tell me what to do!”

There’s nothing I don’t love about this line. This is how you have a truly compassionate character vent their frustration. Because no matter Maria’s beef with Qrow (and boy, is she justified in it), the suggestion to sleep is objectively a good one. They fought grimm, got into a train crash, witnessed the Saddest Story Ever, beat up on their former headmaster, trudged who knows how far in the snow, found a creepy town, found some dead bodies, and just had emotional conversations with their besties. Sleep is so freaking necessary right now… but Maria doesn’t want to acknowledge that because it’s Qrow giving the order. The difference between her mini tantrum and the others’ we’ve seen? Maria’s doesn’t put anyone in danger. It’s not Yang refusing to move in a grimm-infested forrest until she gets the answers she wants. It’s not Qrow punching a sobbing man in a child’s body. Maria vents, but does so in a way that only impacts herself. I might be tired come morning, but it’s not going to hurt any of you if I stay up longer with this book.

Plus she calls Qrow a kid. Valid. Compare how Maria acts around Qrow to how she acts around Ruby. For Maria, literal age isn’t important. Qrow might technically be the other adult here, but he sure as hell isn’t acting like it. Ruby might be the second youngest, but she’s handling things like a champ. Only one of them is the “kid” in this situation.

“Go to bed,” Maria mimics, playing the roll of a child herself. Though again, in a way that hurts no one. Qrow isn’t even in the room to hear her. Ruby realizes all this and smiles—one of the first genuine ones we’ve seen since the beginning of this Volume. Maria is funny like this and yeah, at least some of that reaction was probably deliberate. She wants Ruby to hear her playfully mocking her uncle and loosen up a bit.

The camera turns towards the fire and we get a quick cut to hours later where it’s burned out completely. The morning light shines through the window. Well, color me surprised. Given the horror tropes last time I fully expected the girls to wake up (or start dreaming) in the dead of night, but in some ways it’s creepier for everything to go down on a bright, sunny morning. They live in a world with literal monsters. A bit of daylight isn’t going to save you.

At least everyone was smart enough to sleep in the same room together. With the exception of Qrow, but he already went off by himself after telling everyone else to stay in pairs. Dude, you’re so lucky you didn’t die this episode.

Sometime during the night Qrow found two more bottles that he emptied before passing out and when the last finally slips from his fingers it shatters, startling the hell out of Ruby. Here we get our first glimpse of how she’s able to resist The Apathy, how much more hope and determination she has than everyone else in her group—Ruby literally isn’t as tired. Not only did the bottle not wake anyone else up, her yell didn’t either. These are trained fighters suffering from PTSD who are entirely devoted to one another, and your leader’s scream doesn’t rouse you? After a whole night in this place the rest of the team is in deep.

We see quickly though that this isn’t the kind of cursed sleep that some of the fandom thought we might get. Everyone can wake up, it’s just extraordinarily hard. Weiss complains about Ruby opening the window curtains and Qrow tells her to leave him alone. When he doesn’t stir after that we finally see some of the anger Ruby is housing. She snatches another one of the bottles and hurls it against the wall. That wakes Qrow up fast.

Her frustration immediately gives way to concern though—another reason why I think she would have reached out a hand to Ozpin if she’d been given a chance. We get her reminder that Qrow can talk to them and Ruby moves in for a hug.

Thus begins a theme this episode of Qrow rejecting physical affection. Here he lets Ruby hug him, but gives only the most perfunctory pat on her back and then immediately pulls away. We see it again in the cellar when Ruby is legit screaming about how they need to get out of there and Qrow’s only reaction is a, “Hey! Get off me!” He focuses on the unwanted touch and keeps struggling in their grip up until he spots The Apathy burning in the doorway.

Now granted, there’s a lot of other things at play here, but it doesn’t surprise me that one of them is Qrow’s discomfort with, not just compassion, but physical compassion. After all, his semblance has a radius. We see during the fight with Tyrian that the kids can stand a few feet away from them, but they shouldn’t “come any closer.” Once Ruby does, she’s nearly brained by a falling beam. Those who are literally close to Qrow are the ones who get caught up in his semblance. During times of peace when things are looking up? He gives in, letting Ruby hang off his arm or sitting close to everyone at the Haven house. Now though? After Jinn’s vision? Qrow doesn’t just think he’s undeserving of comfort, he shies away from the physical proximity that comfort is usually delivered through. He’s cursed and he’ll be damned if he lets anyone get close to him—figuratively or literally.

It’s also worth pointing out that most of this shot takes place through the window. This technique can mean a lot of things in television and cinema, including evoking the feeling of peeking in on a private moment (think Rear Window), using the frame to divide people (you’re on one side of the line, I’m on the other), creating a sense of balance (or lack thereof), and producing a feeling of distance—for both the viewer and the characters.

Ruby and Qrow might be together in this shot, but the frame is no longer balanced. Their expressions are hidden from us, there’s height to make them appear small, and there’s even a bit of a Dutch Angle, usually used to show unease; that the world is suddenly confusing and off kilter. In short, Ruby is trying to offer that comfort and the cinematography is doing everything it can to tell us that it’s not working.

“Let’s just get out of here,” Qrow says, which is at least something they can all agree on.

And then. Then! Oscar being treated like a human being!! 

Oh this did my heart good to see. His interaction with Blake was short, but filled with excellence. That right there was a true early morning sibling exchange.

I don’t wanna do work.

Me neither. I want food.

YES. Wait. Are YOU going to make the food?

…No.

alkdjdakhfadihfg.

Thank god. Keep this up. Let them push back against Qrow’s belief that Oscar isn’t his own person with simple, everyday interaction. Let him worm even deeper into their lives so that the next time someone suggests that Oscar doesn’t have his own, intrinsic value he’s got four big sisters ready to stand up for him.

Connected to this, I also love everyone screaming for him while running from The Apathy. No one abandoned Oscar in their own fear. They had faith that he’d be ready to take them out of there.

They remembered he has a name.

Good shit, good shit.

So everyone gets the flatbed and bike ready, but when Qrow puts his foot up on it one of the tires blows. Nice callback to the broken coffee table. Of course, rather than tackling the new problem—Ruby: “It’s just a flat tire. I’m sure there’s a spare”—Qrow gives up. Remember, he’s both the one with the least hope in their mission and by extension the one most swayed by The Apathy. One minor setback and he’s ready to just stay there, despite his earlier desire to get the hell out of dodge. Qrow plops himself down in the snow and starts drinking again.

Maria, please talk some sense into him.

Not that Qrow would listen to her, especially after she makes the comment that they’re all “beacons for bad luck.” (Oooh nice contrast to our Beacon (school) of hope.) It’s a nice reminder that yeah, Maria might have gotten an info dump on Remnant’s history, but she doesn’t know anything else about this group, including the fact that Qrow actually has a bad luck semblance. She’s already watched a movie of humanity’s greatest secrets. Someone should really fill her in on the rest.  

That comment sparks the conversation that we all knew was coming. Yes, we can clearly see The Apathy at work here… but we can also see who has the determination to fight it. Yang says that it seems like the universe doesn’t want them to make it to Atlas, the same kind of twisted logic we’ve seen from her for the last two volumes. She knows she can’t trust Raven, but believes her anyway. She knows she agreed to deliberately separate from the train, but then acts like this is some kind of spiteful karma. She knows something as simple as a snowstorm in, you know, winter isn’t a sign that their mission is impossible… but she’s going to turn it into a sign when she wants to justify giving up. Yang is very good at taking innocuous things and/or things she originally agreed to and then using them as “evidence” when she feels like it. Like agreeing to a career that’s all about risking their lives and then going, “Actually if we’re risking our lives there should be payment in the form of secrets.”

That’s what Blake latches onto next. She bemoans the fact that they always have to fight to get by and Ruby and I both go, “????”

Ruby: “Yeah, but that’s what we signed up for.”

Thank you! Yes, that is exactly what you signed up for and, The Apathy’s influence aside, no one is willing to acknowledge that. You signed up for a hard life. You signed up for battle, but only Ruby both recognizes and admits to that choice. The Apathy’s extreme influence helps us see that these girls still haven’t found new motivations since Mountain Glenn. In their minds they didn’t sign up for this kind of hardship because they saw being huntsmen as a track towards adventure (Yang), recognition (Weiss), and an escape from a previous life (Blake). Without that ethical drive, experiencing the dark side of their careers—like the Fall of Beacon—really kind of broke them. In that way they’re still kids, told by adults and the rest of society that the thing they’re so excited to do will be hard, and they claim they understand this… but are then surprised when, shock, it actually turns out to be hard.

Oscar has a slightly different view. He actually didn’t sign up for this, so he points out that they’re supposed to “save the world. Not just delay the inevitable.” Ignoring for the moment that Salem’s victory is in no way inevitable (that’s the Raven in you talking), Oscar doesn’t even have the guilt of knowing that he chose helping people as his career to push him forward. Some bullshit magic chose him specifically to “save the world”  and now everyone thinks that’s impossible, so why exactly am I here again?

It says a ton about his personality then that Oscar, despite having the most objectively justifiable reason to give up, is one of the more tentative in his complaints. After that line he doesn’t gang up on Ruby like her team does, pressuring her to give up like the rest of them. He also immediately does as Qrow asks and sets about finding a new tire, even though The Apathy and his own apparent uselessness should convince him to just sit there—like Qrow is. But Oscar keeps going. We’re seeing glimmer after glimmer of how he’s a “like minded soul” to Ozpin. Both keep getting up no matter how many times they’re knocked down.

Ozpin, of course, is also worth acknowledging here. We don’t know if he can hear/see everything that’s going on that deep in Oscar’s mind, but even if he can his self-loathing is currently even worse than Qrow’s. Combine that with The Apathy’s influence and it’s absolutely no surprise to me that he never makes an appearance. (To say nothing of the fact that the plot isn’t ready for him to come back yet.) Though it goes against his core characterization, Ozpin is currently the least hopeful of the lot. Ruby is holding them all together until he re-discovers his own convictions.

But boy, is it hard. I wasn’t kidding about the other girls ganging up on her. They’re pressuring Ruby to give in to them through both words and by physically invading her space. That balance in the frame we were talking about? Two cuts show us that it doesn’t exist: everyone is on one side and Ruby stands alone on the other. It’s hard to stand up to that kind of peer pressure in general, let alone when you’ve got a grimm weighing you down.

Yang tries to spin the decision to leave the relic with more selfish logic: Salem probably won’t find it for a couple of years at least. Hell, “It might not even happen in our lifetime. We could be done with it now.” I’ve spoken about this in other metas, but this self-centered thinking is really at the heart of the issue. The girls expected to kill Salem just as soon as they were a bit stronger (they probably assumed, naively, that they’d be done in the next few years) and now they’ve learned that this is a multi-generational battle. Protagonist Status aside, the in-world implication is that they won’t reap any rewards. This is a fight that requires true sacrifice: planting seeds in a garden you never get to see, if I may quote Hamilton. And right now they’re say ‘no.’ That’s not my responsibility. That’s not worth it. Drop this stupid thing and maybe we’ll have peaceful lives before Salem wins. No one else matters.

Ruby gets far enough to unclip the relic and dangle it over the well, her hand shaking as badly as Yang’s. She’s “really tired”… but Ruby is also currently stronger than the others. She faces The Apathy as well as her entire team doubting her and says no, this isn’t the right thing to do.

Too bad red eyes startle her and the relic drops.

Her reaction is so telling though. Ruby maintains her determination, even in the face of the problem being literally taken out of her hands. It would have been so easy to just relax into the mistake, acknowledge that whoops, didn’t mean to drop it… but is it so bad that I did? It takes more strength to go after the relic again than it would to just hold onto it. Ruby’s freaking amazing for demanding they go back down.

The reactions piss me off though. (Yes, yes even with The Apathy’s influence.) Like Qrow’s cruelty towards her concern, the girls aren’t just indifferent to Ruby’s emotion here, they’re mean. They act like they’re putting up with a naive, annoying child whose finally gotten on their nerves one too many times. If you watch Yang and Blake they trade the embodiment of an “Ugh here she goes” look. Yang then has the gall to say that Ruby just imagined the thing in the well. That’s a standard horror trope: protagonist sees something scary and friend immediately says nah, monsters aren’t real! Except, you know, they put that reaction into the mouth of a girl who fights monsters for a living. I also love the logic here, or lack thereof. Grimm, Ruby? C’mon. We’re surrounded by woods where we were attacked by a ton of grimm just yesterday, hanging out in an abandoned town where everyone is dead in their beds. We’ve got a magical object that specifically attracts grimm, a guy with a bad luck semblance, and we’ve been spewing negative emotion non-stop for the last 24 hours. Why would you think there’s a monster down there??

So yeah. Rational thought is out the window right now. Ruby stands her ground though (I STAN ONE FIERCE CHILD) and says she’s not leaving without the relic. I legit worried for a moment that her dead-eyed team would go, “Okay fine. Then we’ll leave without you,” but luckily RT didn’t take it that far. They all agree to go back down with her—further showing how Ruby’s determination helps combat apathy, both natural and grimm-induced.

Qrow yells for the “farm boy” to find them a spare tire and then goes to drink himself into oblivion. Maria rightly sneers at his lazy, childish behavior. Qrow’s bitching about the “stupid lamp” and the “stupid tire”? Maria snaps that he’s the stupid one here.

Keep dragging him, Grandma. Maybe if you get him mad enough it’ll break through some of that self-loathing.

We then begin a series of parallel edits where Maria sits reading the diary while the girls explore the sewers below. It helps build suspense to catch glimpses of the writing—things like “I did it!” and “my solution” and “The huntsmen pointed them out to me the other day”—as they near whatever is laying in wait. By the time Maria turns the page and finds the awful illustration of what was brought into town, the girls have already found it for themselves.

During all this we see even more how little Yang, Weiss, and Blake don’t trust Ruby while under The Apathy’s influence. When they turn out their lights (omg no) none of them take out their weapon like she does, even though we’ve seen in the past that it’s an instinctual reaction to copy her, especially when it comes to keeping themselves safe. But they’re too tired and there’s no grimm, remember?

They finally spot the relic and Ruby, bless her, smiles. No matter how much of a burden it is, she’s so relieved that she found it again.

Aaaaand she finds something else too.

Like the others, Ruby isn’t quite herself right now. She cowers and screams rather than immediately fighting back, but at least she’s able to get off a couple of shots before The Apathy’s cry does them all in. Maria drops down into the well for a rescue attempt (!!!!) and recognizing the grimm at hand just tells them to run.

So they do. Why didn’t they keep heading for the well exit? I have no idea. That seemed a little contrived to suddenly head deeper into this maze, but whatever. It’s more atmospheric to face The Apathy underground and it gives RT the opportunity to throw out another corpse leaning against the wall. Yeesh.

“I can’t do this,” Yang says, a line that obviously speaks to more than just her inability to run away from the grimm. Then Blake flat out drops.

It says a lot about both of their states of mind that after a candid conversation about protecting one another, Blake isn’t able to rouse herself to help Yang and Yang doesn’t even realize Blake is about to die. The ability to keep going, even for a beloved friend if not for yourself, is just gone.

Not so for Ruby and Maria. They’re each still able to get to their feet—the only two continuing this fight here and the fight out there—literally pulling everyone else along. Ruby yells for Blake to get up and she gives the creepiest line in all of RWBY’s history.

Blake: “It’s fine.”

With The Apathy’s claws literally inches from Blake’s cheek, Ruby lets loose her silver eyes.

It’s enough to knock them back, but not defeat them all. More importantly though, Ruby’s power seems to have knocked something into the girls as well. The recovery they make is staggering and I think it’s more than just The Apathy loosening its hold. As we’ll see in a second, the power is literally tied to love of friends, family, and humanity as a whole. Ruby just gave everyone a big dose of love-infused hope. Despite the episode’s title, the point here is that they’re not alone in the woods. 

Weiss gets up the steps and shouts that the door is locked… and I’m sorry for laughing. But it just reminded me so much of First Year Hermione in the Devil’s Snare, shouting about how there’s no matches for a fire. Weiss. Are you a crazy powerful fighter capable of breaking a measly lock or not?

Yang comes to lend her a hand, but The Apathy knocks them down with their cry again. I love that they separated the partners here—Ruby trying to keep Blake safe—and we see Yang reaching for Weiss as she collapses again, muttering “No, no, no, no.” We then get a nice shot from Maria’s perspective as she slowly pieces things together. An experienced, silver-eyed warrior herself, Maria is the only one still able to move and she crawls to Ruby, asking what color her eyes are.

Damn if this poor grandma isn’t getting crazy revelation after crazy revelation. At least this one is able to save their asses. She coaches Ruby through drawing on the emotions that will activate her eyes. Think about the people you love. Focus on keeping them safe. “Life is beautiful. It’s precious. And it must be protected.”

The silver-eyed warriors are embodiments of the cause Ozpin fights for: protect humanity, no matter how hard. No wonder he was so interested in Ruby when they first met.

So for the first time we not only get to see Ruby using her power intentionally, we also see it destroy. She only froze the dragon grimm at Beacon and injured Cinder rather than killing her. Now, Ruby’s eyes turn all The Apathy before them into dust. With knowledge of what she’s drawing on and some measure of control, Ruby is growing more powerful.

Hell yes.

They come out into the wine cellar where Qrow is drunk beyond belief. Between all the alcohol and The Apathy it doesn’t even register that maybe his kids are panicking for a reason. He just yells at Weiss for wasting precious alcohol. Because yeah, Ruby might have done some damage, but The Apathy isn’t dead yet… and Weiss has beef with both the grimm that nearly killed them and with a cellar stuffed full of drink, courtesy of her mother. Now she’s given the chance to burn both to the ground? Weiss isn’t passing that opportunity up.

“Now we can leave,” she says. Once everything is on fire.

(Someone please make a version of the Elmo GIF with Weiss raising her arms maniacally as everything burns behind her. I’d like that.)  

During all this we also get a wonderful little bumblebee moment as Yang grabs hold of Blake’s hand. A bright spot amongst all the horror.

They re-unite with Oscar, who is literally just,

and then they get the hell out of there. Driving away everyone is able to start thinking again, with Maria laying out how two of The Apathy were brought into town to try and keep people safe—a messed up form of self-medication in a world that doesn’t seem to care at all about mental health. “They drain your will to go on” and once you get the whole pack? You’re done for. Presumably everyone went to bed and just… never bothered to get up again.

Maria then straight up chucks the diary into the snow, which was an incredibly sad gesture to me. Like yes, they obviously don’t need the diary anymore, but it’s still a diary, the last surviving remnant of the family given that Weiss burned the house down. That action, for me at least, speaks to Maria’s disgust at the choices here. Not only that people think they can remove the bad parts of life without damaging the good, but that, financial difficulties aside, this fool actually thought he could get rid of huntsmen and replace their protection with grimm.

That was a rejection of them and it lead to the deaths of an entire town. Now apply that scenario to a much bigger picture. What’s gonna happen if the girls reject their own status as huntsmen and the town becomes the entire world?

Nothing good.

Weiss is the first to apologize. God bless this girl, that must have been hard to do, especially coming from an abusive family. Weiss has developed remarkably good communication skills in the last two years. I’m super proud of her. I’m also proud of Yang for stopping the bike and following Weiss’ apology with, “Me too.” She could have easily reacted with more anger—well we wouldn’t have even been in that awful place if it wasn’t for Ozpin—but she takes responsibility for at least some of her part in this mess. That’s such a good step forward! Go Yang!

The only thing that still worries me?

Yang: “We can’t quit until the lamp is safe.”

That’s, again, not a drive to fight. Yang is now clearheaded enough to be where Blake was back in Episode Four: we’ve got this powerful magical object, I have enough sense to recognize that we can’t abandon it, so let’s just get the stupid thing to Atlas and then we’ll be done. They’re still thinking selfishly outside of The Apathy’s clutches. Okay, okay, we are responsible for the relic… but why do we have to be responsible for anything else? Because this is the life you chose. Because no one else is equipped to do this. Because it’s the right thing to do. Because someone has to. At some point soon they’re going to need to tackle the fact that Atlas is just the first step of many, many more.

Ruby asks how in the world Maria knows so much and we end with the bombshell that, to be frank, most of the fandom was expecting: “Well isn’t it obvious, girl? I had silver eyes.”

The “had” now seems to be the important bit. Given the power of silver eyed warriors, it wouldn’t surprise me if—like the Maidens—they were once hunted for their power, either to claim it or remove it as a threat. We might learn that Maria isn’t just blind but at one point had her eyes entirely removed.

With that revelation the group keeps on driving. 

Honestly? I’m super surprised they’re out of Brunswick already. Based on the slow exploration of the house and some tweets from RT—“Welcome to Brunswick Farms!”—it looked like we were settling in for the long haul, a series of episodes slowly revealing the creature and then figuring out how to destroy it. Instead we blew through everything in twenty minutes. Right now I don’t necessarily think that’s bad, I’ll just be curious to see how we’re going to fill up the rest of the Volume. Perhaps we’ll be getting back together with JN__R sooner than expected.

With that in mind, let me make a final comment about my newfound optimism. After today’s episode I’m not as convinced that we’re going to have that awful ‘Jaune slams Oscar/Ozpin up against the wall’ scene. I’ve spoken with multiple friends about how RWBY has gotten more literal with its opening credit imagery, but so far we’ve actually seen a fair number of metaphors for Volume Six:

Ruby and Weiss didn’t literally chase each other down the train, but that image demonstrates the strong support we’ve seen them giving one another this Volume.

Blake and Yang didn’t literally sit at a table and mope, but those actions also reflect the continued work that needs to go into their relationship—especially when compared with Ruby and Weiss.

We didn’t literally see Qrow get grabbed by The Apathy, but it definitely had the biggest effect on him. It helped to pull him further down.

We didn’t literally see Ruby soloing The Apathy and we definitely don’t see her using Crescent Rose like that. But that shot nicely reflects how she stood alone against the rest of her team. She was the only one initially willing to go back for the relic and by extension the only one figuratively facing The Apathy, as well as all it represents. 

In the same way, I’m less convinced now that we’ll literally see Jaune grabbing hold of Oscar and doing him more bodily harm. Rather, this image might just be another representation of the mood: Jaune will be pissed. But hopefully by that point RWBY, Oscar, and Qrow have found their own determination and can back Ozpin up a bit.  

Here’s hoping for more bright spots in general now that they’re out of that hell-hole... despite what these expressions imply. 

Other Things of Note

A potential detail of the merge: Oscar’s pacing looks very Ozpin to me. People have already pointed out that he’s holding their cane like Ozpin (baseball bat charge into the house aside) and now he seems to be walking like him too.

When Maria talks about the solutions the townspeople were coming up with she says, “It sounds like it worked. At least for a spell.” Granted, I don’t think the writers used it deliberately, but I still like that the word “spell” made it into common vocabulary. It shows that yeah, people once knew about magic (at the very least Maidens were once common knowledge) and language grew to reflect that.

There is… a random trunk on the floor now. Was that there before?? I honestly don’t remember. Either way that was a jarring image for me. Open the treasure chest, Oscar.

Ruby and Yang sharing a blanket together. Awww.

It’s clear now that Ruby ignored her silver eyes all through Volume Five so that we could have this dramatic reveal, but it’s still an annoying choice. All they needed to do was provide a five second conversation where Ruby brings it up and Ozpin puts off revealing more secrets, or Ozpin brings it up and Ruby makes it clear she’s not ready to handle that conversation yet. (Her first use of her eyes is connected to the trauma of Pyrrha’s death.) Little details like that would have given RT space to set up this arc without leaving us with the annoying question, “Why the hell is our normally strategic leader ignoring the best weapon she currently has?”

This is just a little complaint, but I wish they’d done a bit more with how the townspeople died. Given the range of resisting/not resisting The Apathy that we saw today, it seems a little unlikely that everyone went to bed one night and simultaneously stayed there until they starved or whatever. Idk. Just seems like they could have done more with the story, but as said, we’ll have to see what the rest of the Volume holds and whether it was worth leaving the farm so quickly. 

[bellamyblinkingrapidly]

Rewatching S8 Pt 2: Ep2

- Dany conveniently decides when she wants to be associated with her family.

- Tyrion is super in the doghouse about his family. If Dany doesn’t kill him or something I will be surprised. I want the payoff of her fulfilling all her threats against him.

- Sansa fucking leaving before Dany is so fucking petty and I love it honestly. SANSA STARK GIVES ME LIFEEEE. I love also seeing her armor crack - when Brienne brings up her mom or when she sees Theon. It’s important to remind us that she puts on this face of coldness & that she still has feelings underneath.

- wow gendrya is so hot they’re flirting so much I’m so glad they bang

- we should’ve been knew that Arya would kill the night king bc the white walkers and NK are personified as death and Arya knows death and says “NOT TODAY” to death.

- “I’m not that person anymore” Jaime says to Bran... interesting because he literally regresses back to that person & rejects change.

- “how do you know there is an afterwards?” A little dramatic bc like only 5 people we know die. At least kill of like 10 people if you’re gonna try to say that shit.

- Jaime and Tyrion’s convo just further asserting Tyrion is an idiot and ridiculously loyal to Dany and shouldn’t be. “She’s always been good at using the truth to tell lies. Don’t be too hard on yourself she’s fooled me more than anybody” “she never fooled you. You always knew exactly what she was and you loved her anyway.” I think this has HUGE implications for both Lannisters. Jaime loves Cersei anyway and returns to her. Tyrion loves Dany anyway. But they both pretend to themselves they’ve been fooled so they can feel better about themselves.

- But as they’re talking about Cersei Jaime gets lost in looking at Brienne. Disappointing that she didn’t end up being enough!!

- Jorah is the only one to bring Dany out of her bad mood. He reminds her she can be forgiving. Presumably he tells her to make peace with Sansa. Really good showcasing of how he is truly one of the only ones who still has her total trust and can talk her down.

- “he owns his and learns from them” BUT DOES HE THOU????

- wow lord Royce was really gonna defy the queen if Sansa said nah fam we can’t speak alone wow

- I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors. Tyrion is a good man. Sansa sees right into what bothers Dany & she defends Tyrion. She knows the way he’s being treated isn’t fair.

“I thought he knew his sister” interesting bc like Dany could say the same about Jon & it almost makes sense why she doesn’t trust Jon’s family or his judgment of his family bc she’s been burned by Tyrion

- Dany tries to play the feminist card lololol

- this talk about Jon has to have repercussions!! And just in general the obvious disagreements between Sansa and Dany needs to pay off somehow!!! Plsssssss

- Sansa seems to figure out what Jon has been doing... playing Dany and getting her North by making her fall in love. She’s the one doing stupid things for love. But then like after this Sansa acts still just as mad... and confused and out of the loop??? Like what does Jon tell her in episode 1?? Doesn’t she figure stuff out here in episode 2?? If so, why does she act like she forgot all of that by the next episodes???

- the Theon and Sansa reunion is everything and shows us so much of Dany’s mindset and worries.

- WHY SHOW THE STARKS UNITED AND PLANNING FOR WAR TOGETHER IF THAT ISNT GOING TO BE FULFILLED?? If they aren’t going to be a united front???

- also wtf why hasn’t Jon told his siblings about his parentage

- Bran seems super important and yet does absolutely nothing in ep 3.

- why was alys Karstark around so much??

- sams super long speech about death and memory is cool and all but um does it have any repercussions or echoes or anything for plot or story at all?? They make such a big deal out of this fight and it has such small consequences and stakes.

- wow Jon really dismisses the entire room including Dany’s staff lol

- so why do Tyrion and bran talk at all?? It doesn’t do anything????? Why have pointless scenes??

- wow Missandei and greyworm will never get to go to the beaches at Naarth. Sad. What will he do when the war is over?

- have you told her yet? Oh so finallllyyyyyy Sam is bringing it up again. BUT WHY THE HELL DID SAM ADVISE HIM OR ALLOW HIM TO TELL DANY THE PERSON WHO HE KNOWS IS A CRAZY BAD RULER?? Why didn’t he make him tell his family???

- there’s so much talk of everyone dying and so little pay off for this talk. No one SUPER SUPER important and shocking dies. I mean literally all the people by the fire survive. That is insane and unfulfilling imo.

- “well my golden lion days are done” wow another comment from Jaime about how he’s changed... and yet he will regress and apparently not change.

- ghost!!! Wish it was literally any other way.... bc he’s just standing there. But I missed him and somehow I feel like when we see Ghost maybe that’s a glimpse of the real Jon... maybe Jon sending him away represents him abandoning himself or not liking himself anymore? Bc of his deceit or his loyalty to the mad queen? Idk I’m picking at straws.

- so with Jaime out of the picture maybe Tormund has a chance?

- I love Tormund so much & im so happy for this moment. But all of these moments would mean more if people died I feel.

- I fought for you didn’t I? Glad this scene happened to set up for ep 3. Glad that Arya and The Hound got to have another scene besides the blacksmith one. Also a good reminder that Beric was brought back a billion times FOR A REASON... And we find out what that reason is next episode. Cool.

- Arya doesn’t find Gendry. She shoots arrows. Something familiar and like home. Probably reminds her of her dad and Jon. Gendry finds her. Love that she plays the game of faces with him.

- wow gendrya sex scene is everything

- still mad about no stark goodbye scene before the big fight - they didn’t even get one later like before KL HOW DARE U NOT GIVE US STARK GOODBYES AND STARK SIB SCENES

- wow so Tyrion was right about something “I think we might live”

- “fuck tradition” wow I love Tormund and Jaime. This moment is like the best in the whole season. Brienne becoming a knight is BEAUTIFUL. That look Pod gives her. Ugh. My heart.

- I actually wish that all that happened between Jaime and Brienne was the knighting scene. Because it’s so perfect and sweet. And since he leaves her to go back to Cersei bc he loves Cersei... it just ruins everything and leaves her so vulnerable and him looking really kinda sleazy imo. I just would’ve been totally content with their relationship just being this: mutual admiration and respect and encouragement.

- Lyanna and Jorah die ending house Mormont. I guess that’s the point of their scene? So um where’s Heartsbane now??? What was the point of this?? Sam didn’t owe Jorah anything. Sam saved Jorahs life because of the lord commander. Jorah serves the queen who killed Sams family. Why would Sam even give him the sword in the first place? What was the narrative purpose?? This sword protects Dany the woman who killed its previous owner. Like ???

- this sad montage is cool and sad but we only lose like Theon and Jorah from the next episode... so it just makes everything seem super dramatic with little payoff.

- Dany doesn’t apologize for being in the crypts. Annoying. I love that Dany thinks she knows what he’s thinking... oh that’s the stark my brother raped. Whoops.

- Jon is legit confused or frustrated by her response. Like he expected her to be happy to know she has family. But she’s actually just worried about the claim. So I think he didn’t quite know what she was before now. This to me reveals Jon believes she’s better than Cersei, will be a decent queen, but she has a temper and can be super vicious to those she deems as an enemy. I think Jon overestimates her desire for or love for family. She’s never had a family she could trust and love. Whereas family is everything to him. I think saying “Dany” is calling her something familiar as an equal. Whereas he goes back to “my queen” later which is super subservient.