#I just don’t know if I can deal w this stuff much longer

[literaryrot]

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[pedroshotwifey]

*looks around and slides money on the table* 💵

Frankie Morales and number 10

I apologize to Frankie because he’s a sweet polite broad bean who’s respectful and always asks. I…would like him not to. 👀

Reader: plus size female (because I’m in full self-indulgent delulu mode)

Also I’m kinda not sorry because side why else would you have the title of the p**** eating king Morales? Huh? Huh? 😵 Sir. 👀

Anyway. I’m gonna stop rambling now. Thank you. 🥰

*Snatches money and stuffs it into pocket*

Yeah, alright. I got the goods. (I fucking love this.)

Hope you enjoy your face sitting with the p**** eating king! 😉

Rating: Explicit

W/C: 1.2k

Pairing: Frankie Morales x fem!plus size!reader

A Real Man

“What the fuck do you mean you’ve never sat on someone’s face before?” 

You wince at the words coming out of Frankie’s mouth. Was it really that big of a deal? 

The two of you are sitting in bed, facing the TV that Frankie just paused. Well, it’s not like the two of you were really watching it anyway. You’d started talking halfway through the movie, and you’re not really sure how you got to this point in the conversation, but here you are.

“I-I don’t know. I just…haven’t.” You avoid his gaze as your cheeks heat, unsure of why you feel so ashamed to have admitted that. Maybe it was more of a common thing than you had thought. 

“But you’ve been in relationships before?” Frankie says it like a question, but he knows that you have. 

“Well, yeah, but. I don’t know, we just didn’t do it!” You don’t know why you’re getting frustrated with this. 

Frankie huffs a laugh and shakes his head. 

“What kind of an idiot wouldn’t offer themselves up to a goddess like you?” 

“You haven’t!” you point out. It’s a bit unfair of you since the two of you have only been officially dating for a couple of weeks and haven’t done too much sexual exploration yet. You’ve known him for much longer though, having grown up with him, and you’re not going to deny hearing…rumors of his skills. 

He gives you a pointed look, knowing that you know that’s an unfair accusation. You groan and put your hands over your face.

“My last boyfriend offered, but he seemed like he didn’t really want to. So I told him I would suffocate him, and he agreed with me.” It’s muffled through your hands, and the last part is near incomprehensible with how quietly you say it. 

“He what?” Frankie sits up a bit, and you peek at him through your fingers. “Honey, I hate to tell you, but that boy was a fucking idiot.” 

You sigh and shake your head. Like you didn’t know that already. 

“Take your clothes off.” 

Your hands fall from your face as you jolt up. 

“What? No!” 

“Yes. You’re going to sit on my face so I can show you what it’s like to be with a real man.” 

“Frankie, no, I–” 

“Clothes. Off. Now.” 

You gulp at the way his eyes darken and his voice deepens. Deciding it’s better just to listen to what he says, you slide down off the bed and start to tug off your clothes with shaky hands. You glance at Frankie as you push your pants down, watching the way he hungrily licks his bottom lip as you unveil more and more skin. 

You stop once you’re down to your bra and panties, another protest on the tip of your tongue. But Frankie’s quick, and he knows your antics. 

“Keep going. I don’t want to hear it.” 

You purse your lips but undo your bra all the same, tossing it to the side and revealing your breasts to your boyfriend. You can feel the wetness between your legs as you peel your panties off, making your face flush again. 

“C’mere.” 

It’s not a request, and your body responds to it before you can think about it. You stop in front of him, his hands coming to settle on your plush hips. His eyes drag up the length of you, slowing as they pass your heavy breasts. 

“Fucking gorgeos, amor.” 

He starts to pull you back onto the bed with him, leading you to climb over him as he lays down. You stop at his waist, feeling the way his bulge presses up against the fabric of his sweats. 

“C’mon, baby. All the way up.” 

You swallow but follow his instruction, trying and failing to avoid his lust fueled gaze. You stop again right at his chest, and he suddenly wraps his arms around your thick thighs to pull you to his face, making you fall over him and plant your hands on the bed above his head. 

“Frankie, be careful!” you scold, sitting back up on your knees. You look down at him, seeing his pupils completely blown. 

“Take a seat hermosa,” he instructs, completely ignoring your outburst. 

You start to lower yourself down, hovering just over his mouth. You’re about to ask him one more time if he’s sure, and then he pulls you all the way down, making you yelp as your pussy comes into contact with his unrelenting mouth. 

He immediately gets to work on licking stripes up and down your cunt, and you scream out his name. He’s eaten you before while you were on your back, but holy fuck. It didn’t feel like this. 

He groans into you as he slips his tongue inside your weeping hole, licking up all that he can. Your hand threads through his curls as your hips jolt involuntarily at the feeling. Your head is already starting to go blank as a pressure builds in your abdomen. 

His tongue fucks in and out of you as he simultaneously slurps up your juices. You moan obscenely, tugging on his hair as you ride his face. He whimpers at the pull, and you already know his hips are bucking up into nothing. 

He’s fucking feral, licking and fucking and groaning and whimpering. After a moment, he pulls his tongue back and shifts to take your clit between his full lips, sucking harshly. Your legs begin to tremble as your orgasm gets closer, and Frankie holds you even closer, his fingers leaving indents on your thighs as he squeezes your flesh. His tongue flicks over the swollen bud, and you’re done for. 

“Oh, fuck, Frankie!” you cry out as you come on him, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. You’re vaguely aware of the way you’re clenching his hair in a way that has got to be painful, but you don’t have enough control to release your grip. 

He keeps moving through your orgasm, letting go of your clit to trail back to your hole, drinking everything up as he moans. Your body tenses and shakes violently as you focus solely on the pleasure of it. 

You’re panting as you come down, your body leaning back over his, weak from the force of the orgasm he just gave you. You feel his grip loosen on your thighs, and you take the opportunity to roll off of him and lay down on your back beside him. 

You’re both covered in a thin sheen of sweat, breathing heavy as you look at eachother. You trade a shaky laugh, completely blissed out from whatever the fuck that was. 

“Thank you baby,” you say, unsure if you can find the words to explain to him how mind-blowing that was. 

“Shit, thank you,” Frankie responds. 

“It wasn’t too much then?” you ask, doubt creeping back into your mind despite what just transpired. 

“It was fucking perfect baby. I can prove how much I liked it if you really need.” He sounds almost bashful at this admission, and you’re confused for a second before you look down and see the dark stain in his pants. 

You laugh at him, almost impressed that he managed to come untouched. 

“No, I believe you.”

*****

Here’s the link to the prompt list if anyone else would like to request 🫶

[politemenacephd]

Arachnophilia: Part Thirteen

Drider!Miguel O'Hara x Reader (+18)

Chapter Masterlist 🕷️

Content: Drider!Mig angst, mutual pining, hurt + comfort.

Word count: 3600

Notes: The pain starts now, buckle in. Also I'm thinking going forward of adding more rivalry stuff w the Miguel's and also maaybbeee some voyeurism with them spesifically, if anyones up for that lemme know

For the entire walk back, you were both completely silent. He crawled into the nest and dropped you down on the bed, gentle but firm, and then immediately crawled back out to prepare for the storm. He didn’t give you a chance to call him back.

In this rigid isolation, you were forced to pace about the darkening room as he shuttered the place down. He was true to his word, ensuring that the windows and doors were fully covered and that there were no leaks. He was still making sure you were safe and warm, something you did appreciate, but his continued refusal to speak was becoming hard to cope with.

You paced, and paced, listening to the rain get harder and harder. In the distance you heard thunder crack. It was like white noise, overpowering all of your attempts to hear your own thoughts, weighing on your mind and soul.

Eventually you simply couldn’t pace any longer and slumped down onto the mattress to think.

You just couldn’t get over this order 1675.

You didn’t want to be afraid. You didn’t want to doubt him. Really, truly, you didn’t. But, how were you supposed to feel about this? He’d said he had no interaction with the HQ. He’d said he was just out here, alone. How was that possible if this order 1675 thing was also true? How well did you really know him? And what was so important that Miguel, despite being desperate to bring it up, was legally unable to?

You’d known him for a while, but, had you ever really discussed his past? Now that you were thinking about it, you really hadn’t.

It was hard to stop your mind from wandering to unsavoury places, the worst possible places. You didn’t want to sit here, wallowing in fear. You cared about this man. You’d given him so much, and he’d given you just as much if not more. You wanted to trust him.

When Mig eventually re-entered the nest he was soaking wet, and had to physically shake his body dry. He ensured the door was shut before slumping down onto the dry silk floor, and suddenly you were alone, just the two of you here with the rain howling outside.

‘Mig?’

The mention of his name made him bristle and freeze. He was hiding his face, something that you weren’t used to him doing.

‘Mig… What did he mean?’ you asked softly.

Again, silence. You saw Mig gently clenching and unclenching his fists.

‘What are you referring too?’ he murmured back.

‘The um- the section 1675, thing. That they couldn’t talk about.’

‘I… I can’t, talk about it, arañita.’

You squished your lips together and shuffled with discomfort. ‘You said… that you met Miguel, once, to be recruited. You said he was territorial, and left. You never said you had any other engagement with the society.’

When Miguel turned it was slow. In the dark of the storm only half his face was lit, his fiery red eye flickering as the lamplight danced.

‘I did.’

You were shocked to see that his blunt but neutral face was gone, faded away to reveal something deeply troubled beneath. You'd never seen those gaunt lines beneath his eyes before. He looked cold.

‘You- did you, lie?’ you croaked.

‘No’ he said, blunt as ever. ‘No. That was just, the partial truth.’

‘Can… Can I know the full truth?’

You were trying to be gentle with your words, but it was hard to not sound concerned. You saw his red eye narrow, and in the dark it was hard to tell if it was out of anger or pain.

‘It- I don’t, know, how’ he said. He sounded like it hurt to talk. ‘It happened a long time ago, arañita. They signed a deal saying that it would be stricken from my record. That’s what 1675 means, it’s the process for wiping an incident so it can’t be used in the future because the person was exonerated. Miguel- wanted to bring it up to, well, punish me I suppose, but it meant he couldn’t.’

‘Okay, just… I’m just, asking then, what was it?’

Again, Mig went still. He went silent. A good five minutes passed without either of you saying a word.

‘You really won’t tell me anything?’ you whispered.

You watched as Mig turned to face you fully. The pounding rain created an oppressive air, especially combined with the overwhelming darkness. His eyes were the only clear part of his face, their red light crudely illuminating his sharp features.

He didn’t speak, but he did move. To your surprise he suddenly rose up and began walking towards you.

‘Mig, I just- I want to know—’

He reached out to grab you, and then he stopped. You froze in his grip.

He’d put just a single hand beneath your head, cupping it to his chest. You felt his heart beating irregularly beneath his hefty ribs, his breath coming in shaky fragmented gulps.

‘I’m sorry’ he murmured.

‘Mig, what- what are you sorry for?’

‘I forgot.’

Those two words brought your awkward attempt at consolation to a halt. When you looked up and spied his face through the dark, he wasn’t looking at you. He was looking at nothing, perhaps seeing something you couldn’t see.

‘I forgot what I am’ he breathed. It sounded painful, like each intake of breath was burning.

‘Mig?’

‘Arañita, I can’t lie to you’ Mig whispered. ‘I can’t. You know that. So if you ask me, I will tell you it all. I need you to know that.’

Those words were so eerily in this context. Did you want to know? Did you need to know? You hated yourself for it, but, you did.

‘Yes’ you breathed. ‘I… I am asking you, please, Mig, to tell me.’

You felt him shudder. Despite his reservations, his fears, he was still honest to a fault. He spoke.

‘I… Arañita, I-I killed someone.’

You stared straight ahead as silence fell. You didn’t know how to respond. Really, how could you respond?

‘I’m sorry’ he rasped. You saw his eyes filling to the brim, causing the red of his eyes to dance. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Mig…?’ You whispered his name, letting it hang in the air as you both trembled in unison.

You were waiting, praying, for an explanation. You were praying for something. Anything. Surely, Mig had a reason, right? There had to be more to this?

For a fleeting second, your body tensed. For a single, fleeting second, you realized you were scared of him. You prayed to not be.

‘Mig, what- what happened?’ you croaked.

You could feel his heartbeat speeding up in his chest, hammering like a frightened bird in a cage. ‘I-I didn’t want to do it’ he gasped, ‘I didn’t- I swear. It- was someone, very close to me, and—’

‘It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m listening’ you said, trying in vain to reassure yourself. He took a moment to collect himself before continuing.

‘They- When I was changed, at Alchemax, it was- chaos. Someone had sabotaged the genetic splicing machine to kill me. I wasn’t supposed to survive. I certainly wasn’t supposed to be- this. This, monster. I was scared of myself, I didn’t know what to do or how to fix it. I was panicking. So… so, I went to someone I thought I could trust. I thought they would- I thought, they would help, because they’d always helped me before, but... I couldn’t talk them down, I couldn’t—’

He paused to breath in deep, his breath rattling his chest.

‘I—I tried, arañita I swear on my soul I tried, but they were too scared. They could never get passed what they saw in front of them. They didn't see- me, anymore. It was like I was dead already. They tried to kill me, the- they grabbed a gun, from a drawer, and my body- reacted. I tried to just turn the gun away but their finger was already pulling and—it hit them.’

You exhaled slowly, releasing a breath you’d been holding for far too long. ‘So- it was, self-defence?’ you murmured.

‘Yes. Technically, it was self-defence’ he said with a heavy swallow.

‘And… Miguel was going to use that against you?’ you asked in disbelief. ‘Why? Why would he do that?’

Mig tensed to a painful degree. Something seemed to be flashing over his eyes. It was a memory, old and worn, of someone whose face he was forgetting. Like a painting in water, its colour slowly seeping away, he clung to those remnants. You felt him shake.

‘It was m—mm… Mmm.’ He screwed up his eyes tight. ‘The person, I killed, w… The person I killed was my fiancé, at the time. Her name was, Dana.’

The rain roared overhead, screaming like a beast. It shook the nest a little as the wind ripped through the trees. Miguel looked haunted.

‘I should have called my brother’ he whispered. ‘I—I shouldn’t have answered her call. I was meant to call my brother. I should have… I should have—’

‘Hey, shh. It’s okay.’ You tried to reassure him by taking his hand, letting him feel each one of your fingers to keep him grounded. ‘We can stop, but- I’m here. If you want to keep going. It’s okay.’

It took a moment, but you felt him settle.

‘The- the spider society found me not long after it happened’ he said, continuing in a trance. ‘Miguel had been planning to recruit me when he’d seen my change, hoping to have another version of him around, but… he found, me. And he found her.’

His eyes glazed over as those long-repressed memories crept across his mind like tar, an inescapable choking flood of remorse. He saw the blood on the carpet, the blood on his talons as he plugged the wound, his variants face when he realized what he’d done. It took your gentle face taps to draw him back to the present moment.

‘Mig?’ you whispered. He shuddered a gasp and tried to continue.

‘Me and Miguel… Our lives, before the splice, were almost identical. Same job, same parents, same body, and same- same, fiancé. His version of Dana just left after he changed, after he found out about his past, but mine…’

Mig paused again to avoid cracking. You kept your hands on his stomach, slowly rubbing over the fine contours of his muscles to keep him grounded.

‘He was disgusted by me, but he was still sympathetic, in a way’ Mig said. ‘I think I just proved him right about his own tendencies. I was exonerated by the society, on self-defence, and it was stricken from any record so long as I agreed to stay away from other people, so… so they didn’t get, hurt, out of- fear.’

‘Mig, that—’ You couldn’t even get the words out. It horrified you. He was almost murdered because his body scared someone he’d trusted, and he was then told to isolate? To remove himself, so he didn’t tempt anyone to try and murder him again?

‘I was exonerated, but… Arañita, I killed someone to keep living. Someone- better than me. Someone with a life, with- love and aspiration and family, and—why? Why did I survive?’

Even with your touch grounding him in the moment he was continuing the spiral. He couldn’t stop his memories from seeping into his vision. He couldn’t stop seeing the same wound on your side, or the blood on his claws.

‘I forgot…’

Mig choked back the urge to crack. Oh god. Was Miguel right?

Was this, right? No. No. In that moment, the reality of it all hit him like a bullet to the gut.

He’d been deluding himself, hadn’t he? High on the rush of being wanted, of having this unobtainable thing, but it was unobtainable for a reason.

He was a monster. He was a horrible genetic failure, who most of the world saw as malformed and mishappen. They would hate him for desiring you. HE hated him for desiring you. You would never get to experience a normal life if you stayed here with him, unable to have a normal family or a normal home.

In the woods you could forget the prying eyes of the world and exist on your own terms, open and honest, but could you hide forever?

He’d always hated Miguel for treating him differently, for beguiling him as a manifestation of his own internal issues, but could he really blame him for it? Miguel could pass for human. He was beautiful, strong, respected. Some string of fate that had failed for Mig had, on a coin toss, granted his counterpart the right to pass in a world where he was loved. No wonder he felt so entitled.

And you, you, his sweet little spider. The one person who hadn’t hurt him, who hadn’t run from him in fear. He’d wanted to believe it so badly. He’d wanted to believe that your optimism would be enough.

But he did not pass.

He was not a threat. He was not a danger. He was guilty only of existing in a body, but that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter whether their fear was rational or not. He was a spider, after all, and—

‘Everybody hates spiders’ he whispered. You gazed up at his broken face with misty eyes.

‘Miggy?’ you whispered back. His eyes narrowed as he winced, as if just the thought was physically painful.

‘Why’ he breathed, both a question and a statement at once. ‘Why? I-I tried, I tried—’  

‘Miggy—’

‘What did I do?! I tried to do the right thing and this— This—’

‘Miggy, hey, sweetheart. Look at me. Look at me.’

‘Why wasn’t I made like him? What was so wrong with me?’ he seethed, his voice peaking and cracking as he verged on wailing. Immediately your hands flew to his waist. You clung to him as his chest heaved, his breathing quickly becoming erratic.

‘I’m disgusting’ he choked. ‘I’m disgusting—’

‘Hey, hey. I’m here. I’m here.’

‘I’m ruining you’ he shouted, his voice raising for the first time. 'Look at me! Look at me, and then look at you!'

He pushed you back a little to make you see, to make you see his bloody red eyes and malformed torso, the way his human half blended into that enormous spider half. The fur on his abdomen, the deep scars and claws on each paw, the furthest thing from human. A body that your brain was hardwired to recognise as alien.

'I can’t give you anything!' he sobbed. 'They’ll- they’ll hunt you down, for the rest of your life if you stay with me. They won’t let us have a family, they won’t let us stay together—’

‘I don’t care.' 

Mig paused, briefly, in the face of your quiet interuption. You were unnervingly calm. ‘You do!’ he wailed. ‘Of course you do! You will be miserable because of me!’

‘I don’t.’ You clung to him tight as you whispered those words, your hands frantically stroking his back to try and ground him again. ‘I don’t. I don’t. I—I don’t, care.’

‘Why?’

You pulled back briefly to take his face in your hands. You squished his cheeks against your palms as your thumb gently wiped away a tear from his eye. He heaved at you, his lips parted and his eyes a painfully bloody red, and you met him without a shred of fear in your eyes.

‘Look at me, Miggy. Right here. It’s okay.’

Mig struggled to meet your gaze. His eyes kept closing, flitting, as if it hurt. You tried to press a kiss to his lips but he sharply flinched, so instead you kept his face in one palm and with the other you raised his hand to your lips. You kissed his claws instead, one after the other.

‘Fuck ‘em’ you said, blunt and clear. The bluntness seemed to draw Miguel out of his spiral for just a moment.

‘What?’ he panted.

‘Fuck them’ you repeated. ‘Fuck them. Fuck Miguel. Fuck- all of them. It’s- disgusting, THIS is disgusting. You should never have been left out here. You should never have had to sign away your right to contact. I don’t care if they pull out every fucking excuse in the book to keep me away, I won’t give them anything to use. I won’t leave you.’

‘But… the, family— The rule about, reproducing—’

‘That’s not enough to make me just leave you right now!’ you exclaimed. ‘I don’t know what’ll happen in the future, but there’s options. Surrogacy, adoption, or just- maybe we don’t want kids. I mean- fuck, even if we don’t have a future romantically, I won’t just leave you, Mig. I won’t.’

‘But—’

‘If I leave you, Mig, it will be on my own terms. In a year, two years, twenty years. Maybe we just- aren’t compatible, maybe we change, or- maybe we don’t. I don’t know. But I’m not walking out because of someone else’s irrational fear. You- you’re still my friend. No matter what, you’re still my friend.’

As your words hung in the air, Mig began to soften. His mind stopped playing tricks on him, showing him her instead of you, because she never looked at him this way. Those sweet, defiant eyes bore down into his soul, and warmed it from the inside.

‘I was scared, when I saw you first’ you confessed. ‘You know that. On instinct, you scared me. And I- HATE myself for that. Because you are so, sweet, and soft, and kind, and the fact you could still care about me after I showed you the same fear—’

‘No, no. You didn’t. And that- that’s what I don’t understand’ he insisted. ‘Why do you like me?’

‘Because you’re- you. That’s it. You’re you.’

Mig narrowed his eyes. He seemed so confused, like he couldn't figure out how to believe you. 

‘You would- risk this, for me?’ he murmured.

‘You’ve clearly risked just as much, Mig. The last person you loved tried to kill you, the- the fact that, you trusted me enough to let me into your home, to sleep in your bed, that you tried to help me at all… I can’t imagine it.’

The rain continued to thunder outside as Miguel calmed his breathing. He was still hurting, still in a semi state of mania, but he was starting to claw back a semblance of strength. He clung to you a little tighter.

He fixated wholly on one memory, a buoy in an ocean of blood: the first day you met, when you looked at him in his defensive stance, and you said: ‘Have, other people come here to hurt you?’

He didn’t scare you, you’d said. He seemed nice, you’d said. We’re both strange on the inside, you’d said. Words more precious than diamonds. Words more precious than living.

‘I think… I understand now, why spiders eat each other’ he murmured.

You frowned with your hand still on his cheek. ‘You- what? What do you mean?’ you asked.

‘I would let you eat me’ he whispered, as one more fat tear fell like a bloody pearl down the cut of his cheek bone. It glistened as it hit your thumb, a precious stone filled with a tiny little part of his soul. You shook your head.

‘Mig, don’t- that language isn’t healthy right now—’

‘I would let you eat me’ he repeated. His voice was throaty from holding back tears. ‘Every- ounce of flesh, every bone, every atom. You would take me in, and I would finally become part of something beautiful. I would haunt your beautiful body, and look through those beautiful eyes, and we would be- magnificent.’

Your lips folded, hard, as your own eyes narrowed. The tears were painful.

‘No. You’re beautiful to me’ you croaked. ‘So just- stay. As you are.’

You leaned in and pressed your forehead to his, and this time he didn’t pull away. You rocked with him as the storm rattled the shutters, as rain pounded on the nest roof above.

Slowly, with absolute delicacy, you pressed your lips to his. You gave one peck before pulling back, and from there you let him lead. He kissed you with quivering lips, first on the mouth and then on the cheek, before ending with one, long, drawn out kiss.

When he pulled away his breathing had become a little more regulated.

‘So’ he whispered, ‘so- what do we do? What do we do now?’

You let out a heavy breath through the nose as you pondered that same question. ‘I guess… we just, keep, trying. I will go back to the society, and I’ll do what they ask me to do as a member, and—I’ll stay. With you. And we’ll see how things go.’

‘But they threatened to regulate us’ he said.

‘They said we can’t have kids. That’s it. And, even then, I’m sure I could get them to research if it’s actually dangerous. Other than that, they can’t do anything. So, we just keep going.’

Mig sighed, his warm breath hitting your face. ‘And, you’re sure you want this? You want to, try, with me? Even after this?’

You locked your gaze onto Mig’s. His eyes were red to the core but round like a puppies, soft and wet and needy. His thick brows were downturned in a hopeless expression of need. It was easy for you to nod.

‘Yes. I want to try. Now, come on, let’s- lie you down.’

You shuffled backwards onto the mattress and Mig obediently followed, his entire spider half gently curling around you. He curled into a circle with his legs folded inward, cocooning you in his warmth, and you listened to the storm burn itself out.

The thundering rain turned to a drizzle, until all you could hear was the pitter of drops on the roof. The lanterns on the wall burned their wax stubs to nothing. Soon the only light in the nest was a single strip of blue moonlight that’d broken through a shutter, its delicate glow highlighting your bodies as they intertwined.

In the warm and the dry you settled against his chest. You felt his heart on your cheek and rubbed his body for comfort, and he clung to you like a little plush toy.

‘Arañita?’ he whispered.

‘Yeah?’

‘Thank you’ he choked. ‘Thank you. Thank you.’ Link to next part!

[stuckinapril]

u don’t have to answer this if u don’t want to or u feel u don’t have anything to say on it (obvi) but how do u deal with jealousy and comparison?

i genuinely just like my shit. i love how i look like, i love my stuff, i love where i come from, i love my family and friends, and i appreciate all the circumstances (good and bad) that have led me to be the person i am today. i've done a lot of esteemable things that have bolstered my confidence growing up, like getting an extremely hard degree and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone more than ever before. i treat other people w kindness and respect. i make sure to be a source of support rather than needless negativity. what people think of me (or have) doesn't get under my skin anymore, bc i've already proven my worth to myself. the fact of the matter is, i'll always hold my own opinion of myself higher than i do other people's opinions of me. i'm at a place where i just don't care that much. i've lost the need to correct people on their takes of me a long time ago.

my own happiness is king--everything else is secondary. if i like it, that's enough for me.

i find it pointless to compare myself to somebody else, simply because no two people have been dealt the exact same cards. i wouldn't compare a rose to a lily, so why should i be comparing myself to people who're--no matter who they are, no matter where they're from--never gonna be me? i'm me. the only person i should be comparing myself to is my past self. i am only in competition w myself. that is all.

as for jealousy, viewing people who have things i want as proof of concept has really helped. if another person gets a higher score on a test, i don't get jealous that they outdid me. i just view them as proof that i can get that score if i studied more efficiently. someone else's success isn't a lack of your own--it's just proof you can reach that success, even if the route doesn't look exactly the same, even if it might take longer.

contentment is entirely subjective. i've known wealthy people who're incredibly miserable. i've known people who struggle financially but could not be happier. other people's advantages don't rattle me, bc i don't care about them, bc i'm so eternally grateful for what i already have. i've also never really been that materialistic to begin with, so i've always understood that a person's worth lies in who they are rather than what they own (whether it be things, money, opportunities...). i can say w my whole chest that i wouldn't swap places w the most famous, most rich celebrity there is. i legitimately don't want to. i know that even if i have to work harder for things, i'll have more to say by the end of it all, and that in and of itself is so profound. not to mention the satisfaction from having challenged myself to get there--and i love a good challenge.

i've unleared the idea that i should view other women as competition. life is hard, we all struggle, we'll be living in a man's world for a long time, and it's just not worth the energy. yeah i'm ambitious, but not at the expense of other people. there's enough room for everyone. another woman's achievement doesn't mean less space for mine. we'll all be fine.

w all that said!! there are bad days. no human is just confident all the time, doesn't feel jealous all the time, doesn't compare themself all the time, doesn't let people's opinions get under their skin all the time. don't feel bad for doing it every now and then. it's natural and normal and just part of the human experience. nobody is perfect. just focus on you, view other people as inspiration rather than competition, and compare your progress to nobody else's but your own. it's been a game changer for me :)

[herofics]

hii would it be possible for you to do an x reader with gojo where the reader has been struggling a lot w depression and some suicidal thoughts and everyone around her is telling her that she needs to take accountability for herself and try harder and get through life but she just... doesn't really care anymore? like she doesn't see a point in pushing through and struggling through life just for the sake of living, things will just get bad again or stay bad so what's the point? i'm rambling, but yeah, basically she's exhausted with life and how he'd comfort her if that's okay? sorry thanks

A/N: This took longer to write than I meant to, because I’ve been so damn busy, but I hope it ended up okay. This is them at the end of their time in high school, so the reader and Gojo would be 18. This is a non-curse au and Geto has not gone anywhere here, but that doesn’t really play into this. I decided to go with the whole non-curse AU thing, since I didn’t want to deal with the whole fighting thing on top of the normal teen stuff that’s going on. I did do fem!reader specifically this time around, though I don’t know if it really affects this other than the pet name

It was the last day of school before spring break, and you were already dreading it. Sometimes it was worse to stay at home than keep yourself busy with school. Some days were worse than others, but nowadays, it seemed like it wasn’t even fluctuating anymore, everything was just going steadily downhill. Sometimes you caught yourself wondering if there was even a point to it all. It didn’t feel like living anymore, it just felt like surviving. Every day was the same. You just had to push through, keep going, fight for things that you weren’t even sure really mattered. It all just felt so purposeless.

The school day was about to end, and you were wondering why Gojo hadn’t been around since lunch. For all you knew, he might have gotten himself into some kind of trouble yet again, and ended up in the principal's office. He might have been the most popular guy at the whole school, but that certainly didn’t stop him from getting into trouble from time to time, or all the time.

You were dreading going home, a whole vacation week to spend with your family. You couldn’t really think of anything worse at that moment. You just wanted to talk to Gojo, he was the only one who didn’t just tell you to “try harder” or that everything that was going on was your fault. Everyone else around you just kept pushing you closer to the edge.

“Hey princess!” came a shout from behind you, as you were walking towards the school’s gate.

“Hi Satoru” you forced a smile as he jogged up to you.

“Something wrong?” he asked with a puzzled look when he got to you.

“I don’t really want to talk about it here” you sighed.

“But you do wanna talk about it, right?”

“Yeah” you nodded.

“Let’s go to my place then. My parents are both out of town, so we can talk in peace” Gojo said as he grabbed your hand and started walking.

You just followed behind him in silence, holding his hand and wondering if you actually wanted to tell him what was going on.

Gojo’s place wasn’t very far from the school, so it didn’t take the two of you long to get there. You were obviously not feeling well and there was something bothering you, but he wasn’t sure what it was. He was aware of your struggles with depression, but you didn’t talk about it that much, so he didn’t really have a good grasp on how bad the situation actually was.

You took your shoes off and put on some slippers, before hanging up your jacket. You followed Gojo to his room, and he sat down on the edge of his bed, patting the spot next to him for you to sit down.

You did and with a deep exhale you said: “So I guess I should talk to you…”

“Yeah, I want to know what’s going on with you” he said, grabbing your hand again, drawing circles on the back of your palm with his thumb.

“I guess I’m just gonna say it… I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. I’m so freaking tired of just surviving” you sniffled, looking down at your feet.

“I’m not gonna pretend I know what that’s like, but I wish you didn’t feel that way. I want you to love life as much as I love you” he said, squeezing your hand.

Gojo hesitated for a moment, before bringing his other hand under your chin and turning your face towards him. You looked so exhausted, and he didn’t doubt for a moment if what you said was true. He was also angry, angry at himself that he hadn’t noticed how much you’d declined lately. It’s not like something like this happened overnight. He’d had time to do something, but he hadn’t.

“I don’t want to be a burden either… What if I’m just not meant to be here? What if I’m not doing enough to deserve to be here?” you said, starting to tear up.

“Don’t say that princess, of course you’re meant to be here, and you don’t need to earn a right to live. You’re infinitely worthy, no matter what you do” Gojo said, pulling you into an embrace. "You’re not a burden, not to me, and not to those who love you"

You didn’t want to cry and by some miracle managed to hold back the tears, but your breathing was a tad unsteady. You clung onto the back of his jacket as you hugged him, and just let him hold you, leaning your head on his shoulder. You just stayed like that for a while, until you were able to breathe steadily again. You pulled back, separating yourself from him a little bit.

“Thanks Satoru, you’re my rock” you smiled softly.

It’s not like this was going to take the pain away, or make you feel like it was all worth it, but it did help. Hearing someone tell you it was okay, that you didn’t have to work yourself to death to be worth something, to earn the right to be here. That you were enough, just you.

“That’s what I’m here for!” Gojo exclaimed with a smile.

He truly did wish you didn’t feel that way, he wished you wouldn’t feel like life was such an uphill battle. That someday you would love life and feel like it was worth living. Gojo at least hoped you knew he would love you, no matter how many bad days you had. No matter what you’d have to go through, you’d go through it together.

[jujumin-translates]

[A3!] Tsuzuru Minagi | [SR] Premonition of Budding | Please Ticket: From Tsuzuru

*Knock on door*

Tsuzuru: Director, can I come in?

Izumi: Sure, what’s up?

*Door opens*

Tsuzuru: I came to give this to you.

Please write whatever you want here. I’m happy to help you with anything I can, Director.

Izumi: Ah, your “Please Ticket”! Thanks, I appreciate it.

Tsuzuru: Knowing you, I’m sure you’ll take care of a lot of things yourself and then just write something simple down, but…

Tsuzuru: Please don’t hesitate to write down what you really wanna ask for with this.

Izumi: Ahaha, if you’re going out of your way to say that, you must really not want me to hold back, huh?

Tsuzuru: Exactly. I mean, you do tend to do that, so.

Tsuzuru: Anyway, I’ll be waiting.

Izumi: Got it. Well, in the meantime, I’ll try and come up with something to write.

Tsuzuru: I look forward to seeing what you come up with.

Izumi: Ah. That reminds me, this is unrelated, but I wanted to see you about something else, Tsuzuru-kun.

Tsuzuru: What’s up?

Izumi: Sorry that this is so short notice, but are you free tomorrow morning? There’s something you, Sakyo-san, and I need to have a meeting about.

Tsuzuru: Sure thing, that won’t be a problem for me.

Izumi: Thanks. Alright, be ready around 10:00 a.m., okay?

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Tsuzuru: (Tomorrow morning, huh… I wonder what the meeting will be about.)

Tsuzuru: (Depending on what it’s about, I might end up being busy doing more important things. If that’s the case, then…)

Tsuzuru: I should finish my college paper that’s due at the end of the week tonight.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Masumi: …What are you doing?

Tsuzuru: College paper.

Masumi: This late at night?

Tsuzuru: I’ve got a meeting with the Director and Furuichi-san tomorrow at 10:00 a.m., so I wanted to get it done before then.

Tsuzuru: I’m almost done with it, so I don’t think it’ll take me that much longer.

Masumi: Hmm…

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Masumi: Hey, Tsuzuru, get up.

Tsuzuru: Mnh… Ah, Masumi…

Masumi: You overslept. Director’s already waiting for you.

Tsuzuru: Huh… Director…?

Masumi: Don’t you have a meeting today?

Tsuzuru: …AH!!

Tsuzuru: What time is it!? You said the Director’s already waiting for me!?

Masumi: That’s what I said. It’s already way past 10:00.

Tsuzuru: Seriously!? Just let me get changed…!

Masumi: You’re sure getting changed fast…

Tsuzuru: Aghh… Is Furuichi-san there with the Director?

Masumi: Oh yeah, I think he was there. Didn’t you say he was gonna be there yourself yesterday?

Tsuzuru: I know what I said…! Oh, I’m screwed, I’m so, so screwed…!

Tsuzuru: Alright, bye!

*Door closes*

Masumi: …What a pain in the ass. Now that it’s quiet, I’m going back to sleep.

· ❀ —– ٠ ❀ ٠ —– ❀ ·

*Door opens*

Tsuzuru: I’m SO sorry I’m late!!

Izumi: Good morning, Tsuzuru-kun. Hehe, you sure got here in a hurry.

Sakyo: For now, why don’t you just have some of the breakfast that Fushimi made?

Tsuzuru: Huh?

Tsuzuru: (W-Why are they being so nice…? I thought for sure they’d be mad at me… So why aren’t they?)

Tsuzuru: U-Uhh…?

Sakyo: Usui talked to us. He said that you were up late working on a paper.

Izumi: You were working so hard because of today’s meeting, weren’t you?

Tsuzuru: Ah…

Sakyo: Knowing you, I’m sure you thought you’d end up busy from being asked to do something at this meeting.

Izumi: You finished up your college stuff yesterday so you could have more time for today, didn’t you?

Tsuzuru: (They both understood… I am super thankful…)

Izumi: Still, you should’ve told us if we were being too harsh on you.

Tsuzuru: Ahh, no, it’s just… I thought it’d be a quick thing, but it took longer than I expected.

Sakyo: Well, we know you were keeping us in mind. Just consider yourself lucky that it was us you were dealing with…

Sakyo: The same never would’ve happened had this been a meeting with an outside party. Okay?

Tsuzuru: O-Of course! I mean, I’ll try not to do it anymore, even within the troupe…!

Izumi: And make sure you thank Masumi-kun too.

Izumi: He went out of his way to come and tell us about what happened with you yesterday and he woke you up.

Tsuzuru: …Got it. I’ll make sure to tell him after this.

Izumi: Still, it must be pretty nice having someone to wake you up in the morning like that. It’s just me in my room, so I’m a little jealous.

Tsuzuru: Uh, I know I was the one who was late today, but…

Tsuzuru: If you ever need someone to do something like that, just let me know and I could give you a call or something.

Izumi: Huh, are you saying you’d wake me up?

Tsuzuru: Yeah. I dunno if I’d really be comfortable going to your room, but if it’s okay with you, I could call you.

Izumi: Ahaha, thanks.

Sakyo: Alright, that’s enough chit-chat, why don’t you just get to eating for now?

Tsuzuru: Yeah, I will!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Knock on door*

Izumi: Tsuzuru-kun, can I come in? I have something I want to give you.

Tsuzuru: Yeah, come in.

*Door opens*

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Izumi: I’ve decided on what to write on my Please Ticket from you, Tsuzuru-kun. Here you go.

Tsuzuru: I’ll look at it right away. Uhh…

Tsuzuru: “I want you to give me a wake-up call tomorrow morning”. Wait… Are you sure?

Izumi: Yeah, when you mentioned it earlier, I thought it sounded like a good idea.

Izumi: Not to mention, I actually have to be up early tomorrow, and I’m a little worried about whether I’ll be able to get up in time or not.

Tsuzuru: Gotcha. Just leave it to me.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Choose!

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

Option 1: I know it’s early, but is that okay?

Izumi: I know it’s pretty early, but is that okay? It’d be around 5:00 a.m., so…

Tsuzuru: 5:00… That is pretty early. Alright, I’ll need to remember to wake up and not hit snooze too, then.

Izumi: Sorry that I’m kinda waking you up early too.

Tsuzuru: It’s not a problem at all! I have to make up for oversleeping today somehow.

Tsuzuru: And I’ll make breakfast for you too, while I’m at it.

Izumi: Hehe, thanks.

Option 2: You’re a lifesaver.

Izumi: Thank goodness~. You’re such a lifesaver.

Tsuzuru: It’s nothing. I know what it’s like to be thankful to have been woken up in the morning.

Izumi: Haha, yeah.

Tsuzuru: I also thanked Masumi for waking me up, but he said he only did it because I was causing problems for you… He really never changes.

Izumi: Ahaha… That sure sounds like Masumi-kun.

Izumi: Well, sorry again, but I look forward to tomorrow.

Tsuzuru: Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow morning.

· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·

*Phone rings*

Izumi: Nmh… Ah, it’s Tsuzuru-kun…

Izumi: Hello…

Tsuzuru: “Good morning, Director.”

Izumi: Tsuzuru-kun, good morning…

Tsuzuru: “Haha, you still sound sleepy.”

Izumi: Yeah…

Izumi: …But thanks. You were a huge help.

Tsuzuru: “You’re welcome. Let’s do our best today too, okay?”

[gothushi]

partially because it's been the flavour of a lot of my interactions with your bots : But which of our boys would be absolutely a *mess* when they find out you're pregnant? Who's the most likely to be just constantly trying to spoil and protect you? And... who is most likely to run? (not ACTUALLY run, but sort of wants to at the beginning)

(brought to you by a recent interaction with one of your Seb bots panicking over a pregnancy)

THISSSS ive been wanting to delve into the boys being dads and dealing with pregnancy but ive nvr done it before nor have i read much in terms of tht.

for the boys most likely to be very protective.. spoiling u a lot… i think we know the obvious answer. rob. and in other terms, nikolai. those two are definitely the most territorial of the boys and charlie is just under them. all three would actually be completely overjoyed, but also violently protective. rob wld refuse to leave on any work trips longer than maybe a few days, nikolai wld be by ur side constantly, and charlie trusts u enough for him to be away for work during the day but once he’s home he’s all over u glued to ur side to do anything u need. even in the early stages of pregnancy, nikolai especially is very territorial. keeps u behind him, hand on u at all times, keeps u marked as his, growls at any others who get too close to u. some feral vampire thing. rob constantly babies u. always massaging ur sore muscles, rubbing ur feet, he takes over the cooking and cleaning even when u tell him he doesn’t have to. charlie does the same, fusses and snaps at u to stay down, sit, stop getting up, ask for things, but he does it all with love even if he sounds kinda angry.

also, speaking of charlie. i think if it were in the early stages of ur relationship he’d be scared at first. he didn’t have anyone to care deeply abt before, so the thought of smth so intimate happening, u carrying his child, has him a bit terrified, and he doesn’t necessarily run but he does pull back a bit, is more snappy, stays at work longer, he’s smoking more often, until u just end up breaking down bc u think oh god he doesn’t love u anymore he regrets it. but once that happens he snaps out of that headspace and completely switches up, confesses his genuine undying love for u as he had before, reassures u that this is really what he wants, he was scared. it takes a lot for him to admit that. babies u, does everything the others do in the end.

i think simon wld actually run. if we’re talking in the midst of brendan stuff, he’d easily shut down his brain and just disappear. completely go ghost on u and u just have no idea what happened. u worry that he’s dead or smth, yk? but after a couple months he comes back, completely broken as a man, tired and wanting to just live his life again free of this mess. (i fesr all the boys would eventually be sweet, caring, rub ur sore muscles, cook meals for u, look up things that can help, all of em. some just lean more some ways.)

ernst wld just looove to start a family. i think he’s such a girl dad. he’d cry like a baby when u tell him. wld be so attentive to ur every need, wld know a lot of different remedies and things to make u feel better bc he researches everything easily, remembering little details abt what u like. same with father anthony. ugh just looooves to be a dad.

depending on where we’re at in lukes story is how he’ll react. if it’s earlier in his career, before his eye injury, he’d probably be pretty fucking terrified. i don’t know if he’d go as far as to ghost u bc i mean .. u know where he lives. u know his game and practice schedule. so. can’t rly do that even if he wanted to. but he’d be a bit distant, more harsh, more anxious around u. he’s absolutely terrified of passing on his condition, terrified of ruining someones life, and he doesnt rly know how to like … love smth like that. he’s still got his own issues w u, how’s he supposed to raise a kid? but, it gets worked through. similar to charlie, u either end up breaking down or just straight up snapping on him. gets his head outta his ass real quick. if it’s a bit later after he’s retired, recovered from surgery, adjusted to his new life, he’s thrilled beyond belief. granted, if it’s too soon after everything happened and he’s dealing with everything he’ll probably panic a little but then just sob bc he loves u so much and he wants a family so bad no matter how scared he had been

now seb.. it’s kinda same how w luke, it depends on where ur at in his life. early on if he’s still dealing with severe issues, bad anxiety, his bipolar and anger problems, i mean, he’s just a mess. walks right out and u don’t hear from him for a few days. it takes a long time probably to get everything straightened around again .. and get him into some therapy and on some medication. but, again like luke, if it’s a bit later on after he’s opened up abt his issues, after he’s accepted help and has slowly learnt to cope, regulate his emotions, found some meds that work for him, i mean.. tbh i think he’d be pretty damn happy. i think he’s such a girl dad too. wld probably take a little while to like … remember everything u need help with.. and by god are ur mood swings throwing him for a loop. often jokes ‘is this how i was?’

[msharkness]

'tis the damn season

Note: After a long waiting, the next chapter is here. Yes, we just had Easter, and yes, this is a Christmas oneshot but let it be. Enjoy!🤍

Previous chapter here

Warnings: yet again a lot of pining, fluff, hinted but not explicit NSFW stuff

cca 1.8k words

My dearest,

When I’m asking you to tell me how you’re doing, I don’t mean what people you’re entertaining in your new mansion and what parties you hold there. I genuinely want to know how YOU are. I left for a reason and you know it, Narcissa, so I beg you to stop reminding me of people I want to forget and places I no longer wish to step in.

I’m well aware I’m the cause of the ache you might feel because I feel it too. It’s dull but it throbs every time I think about you. And lately all I can think about is you, is us. How all this could be different. It’s a selfish thing to do now that you started a family, so I’ll keep it short.

I’m coming home for the holidays. I’m not going to come to the manor, but if you want to see me, I thought you should know I’ll be staying at my parents’ house. They’ll be gone at some ball or another the entire time, and since I’m not invited after what I did two years ago, we’ll have the place mostly to ourselves. That if you would come. 

If you accept, I’ll be yours for as long as you decide to stay. It’s the most I can do, and so we’ll be even. I was yours before your wedding as you asked me to, and now I’ll be yours for the holidays. I’m offering. ‘Tis the damn season after all.

If you don’t, I’ll understand. I won’t hold a grudge on you and I will let you go. You deserve to be happy and if this, me, keeps you from your happiness, I’ll retreat myself and make sure we won’t ever cross paths again.

Take care of yourself and remember: he’s dreamy, he’s shiny, but the world doesn’t revolve around him. You are the Sun.

Love x

From the moment I sent the letter and until I heard the flames of the fireplace announcing the appearance of someone, I forgot about the deal I proposed to her. Not really, but ever since I thought about it I kept my expectations as low as possible. I couldn’t bear another heartbreak. So when I went into the living room to see who was there, I thought it was my mother forgetting something. Instead I was met with the coldest blue eyes I ever set mine on, a pair of eyes I have memorized and tried and failed to reproduce on a piece of paper in moments of longing.

“Darling.” Her voice sounded broken, as if she hadn’t used it for a long time. 

“Narcissa.” Mine sounded more like the voice of a spoiled child when they get what they craved for ages. “You’ve come! Does that mean…?”

“Yes, darling! I can’t let you slip through my fingers. I want you to keep looking for me. You’re my happiness, not Lucius.” She steps closer to my freezing body, and I could feel her warmth enveloping me with every step she took. 

“What did you tell him?”

“He says he has some business to do for the Dark Lord. But I happen to know he’s at Spinner's End.” I knew what that entailed. He couldn’t get past Severus the same way she seemed to not get past me. “Are we alone?”

“Except you, me, and a couple of house elves, we indeed are all alone.” Narcissa’s shoulders relaxed visibly at my statement but her hands kept fidgeting and I couldn’t help but notice the seemingly freshly red painted nails she started wearing after she became a Malfoy. Not even her wedding ring bothered me anymore. She assured me the night before her marriage that it was a piece of costume for the greatest show she’ll star in. But the red nails that started showing up after the ceremony were my reminder that no matter how much she told me she wanted me, she belonged to another person and to another world. 

I grabbed her hand. It was cold, a coldness I missed touching and feeling it run on my skin. 

“What do you say? We grab some bottles of wine, we ask the elves for some food, and we go upstairs to my rooms?”

“As long as you don’t let go of my hand, I’ll do whatever you want.” Her eyes and smile were enough to let me know I had her all to myself. They’re mischievous like when we were students and I can’t help my mind but wonder about all the times she had the exact same expression of sheer playful menace plastered on her face.

I didn't let go of her hand as we made our way to my father’s supposedly secret alcohol stash and grabbed a bottle each. We couldn’t take more because then we’d had to stop holding hands and we both refused that. She didn’t let go of my hand either. Crushing my hand into hers, afraid of losing me in my chaotic running up and down. 

I don’t know how we got into my room. I was too dizzy at that point and couldn’t wait to take her in, to make her demonstrate it’s not just a dream. 

“You’re so flushed right now, darling!” It was so pleasant to hear her careless laugh. Narcissa was panting for air just like I was, only she didn’t want to admit it. You could just sense it in her slightly straining voice.

“Merry Christmas, Narcissa!,” I exclaimed, letting go of her hand as I brought my bottle of wine into her view. She responded by pulling me into a kiss.

She was like a starved animal, punishing my lips and tongue, clawing at my clothes. She pushed me on my bed and as she brought her face once again closer to mine, I could see her blue orbs surrounded by thin red threads in a tearless cry. She got closer to my cheek, whispering her confession.

“I hate being apart from you. You make it worse with those letters you insist on sending me. I hate that Lucius has Severus at his beck and call whenever he wants and I had to wait two years to even set my eyes on your figure again. I hate that you even suggested a final break when we haven’t even got to explore what really is between us…” She hesitated for a moment and then she continued. “I hate how you look at me right now, as if I’m once again a child that bit too much and now can’t chew.” I wasn’t even aware of how I looked at her. I was too lost in her words. That night was the first time her real self emerged in front of me. 

“Narcissa, you’re not a child, you’re a married woman who I’m sure is aware of the risks of being caught inside another woman’s sheets.”

“And I don’t care as long as you're the other woman.” I knew at that moment she meant it. She wanted to escape her controlled world, to live as she wanted but couldn’t, even if that meant a few hours of bliss.

“You’re crazy.”

“I’m in love.”

“So am I.” She once again captured my lips with hers, taking her time to taste and explore with her hands. 

It was like the first time again. Both of us amazed by the other's softness, the curves that fit in the other's palm perfectly, the wetness that didn’t seem to end but actually grow no matter how many times one threw the other in the abyss of pleasure. 

We ended up cuddling and facing each other, legs tangled with the duvet, not wanting to let go, not wanting to interrupt the silence, caressing one another, whispering sweet nothings that I was aware the next day would seem blatant lies. 

“Narcissa…” I tried to catch her eye but she ignored me.

“We forgot about the wine, did we?” She escaped my arms, shifting her body so she can get out of bed.  “I think now it’s the perfect moment for it anyway. Though I’m sure it’s not as rich in flavor as you are.” She turned to look at me then, ignoring my silent pleading with her sensual smile on her lips.

“Narcissa…”

“Let me just grab a bottle and the glasses and I’ll be right back.”

“Narcissa…”

“What?” She was starting to get angry as she turned her naked torso toward me.

“What will happen tomorrow? Are you going to go to your husband pretending none of this happened? Will you continue calling me once in a while, when you feel like it?”

“Let’s not think about this right now.” Narcissa sounded defeated.

“Then when, if not now?”

“Later.”

We ended up falling asleep in each other's arms, clinging to each other like an anchor clings to a rock on the bottom of the ocean in the middle of the storm. We didn’t realize that we were in the eye of the hurricane then, and that the actual storm hadn't actually hit us yet.

I woke up with the urge to look for her, and opening my eyes I saw she was right there in front of me, caressing my face with her fingers.

Suddenly, her voice, a little harsh from sleep, interrupted the peaceful morning. “I thought and now I know the answer. Move in with me, my love!”

“That’s insane, Narcissa.” I remember I scoffed at the proposal, and Narcissa lifted herself onto her elbow to assert dominance and seriousness in her conclusion.

“It’s the most sane decision I ever made in my life. Come with me to the manor. I love you, you love me. Why don’t we see how this will play out?”

“How about Lucius? Our parents?”

“Lucius doesn’t have a say in this if he wants me to keep up appearances. And we’re friends, good friends, that’s what our parents will know.”

Indeed Lucius had to shut up about this or his affair would be exposed, and it wouldn’t have been the first time anyone got invited for a longer period of time at the Malfoy Manor so it could have worked.

“I’ll kill Lucius if he does you wrong.”

“I know, my love!” She softened then, her body lowering again next to mine, her gaze relaxed and full of joy. But there was something else nagging my thoughts.

“I’m aware you have to try for a child until you finally get an heir, but promise me this: once you have a baby boy, will you be truly mine?”

“I don’t know how much that will take. Or if it will ever happen. My father always wanted a boy and ended up with three girls. But I can promise you this: my heart is and will be forever yours. My body is just a vessel, but my spirit is only mine and I give it entirely to you.I am yours, and not anyone else’s, because I chose that. Like you wrote, I’m the Sun and I choose you.” 

She indeed chose me, though she had to lose me too, over and over, though she kept her promise. I had and still have her heart, and I hope I will take better care of it in the future.

[vpyre]

Alright. This is kind of a big deal for me considering stuff that’s happened in the past, but I’m gonna try to start taking writing requests again. I don’t know if I’ve ever done them on this blog specifically, but now I am! I’m gonna do short stuff to ease into it a bit; not sure if I’ll ever be ready to do something long given how wrecked my attention span is, but I’m excited to try writing again!

I’m currently batshit crazy over Hannibal so I’ll be more inspired to do stuff from that, but if you want me to do something else just ask and I’ll let you know if I’m familiar enough with the source to write for it :)

I’ll do headcanons, drabbles, ficlets, and oneshots; possibly something a little longer if I really get into it, but I can’t promise anything. SFW and NSFW requests are welcome! I’m open to pretty much any dynamics/scenarios/kinks/etc. Just ask! I might not be comfortable enough to write some stuff, but I’ll never judge anyone for what they like ^w^

Fandoms I was/am in that I can think of off the top of my head (in no particular order):

Hannibal

The band Ghost

Star Wars

Baldur’s Gate 3

Sonic (somewhat limited in my knowledge of The Lore, but I’m pretty sure I’ve got the characters down)

Black Butler

Tokyo Ghoul

FNAF

…voltron

Creepypasta

Marble Hornets

Our Flag Means Death (I will not do Stede/Ed unless you have a very convincing reason I should)

Good Omens

Arcane

Helluva Boss (not Hazbin, sry)

Spiderverse

The Arcana

Resident Evil Village (Lady D specifically :3)

LotR/Hobbit

Doctor Who

Sherlock

If it turns out that I’m not ready to write right now, I’m very sorry. This is kinda my test to see if I can still do it. I tend to be more motivated if I know someone’s waiting on me, so I’m trying this out :)

[junseotual]

welcome, 2024 !! some messages are longer in the written version below.

as always, i wanted to thank my friends for, well, keeping me alive lol but seriously i say this every single year but you really. made my year. and i'm very grateful for that.

in particular, i'd like to thank my most beloved tuals (twtuals for the most part), thank you for dealing with me on a daily basis, i bet it's not easy !!

// in alphabetical order of the contact names!

[ashie] ; @geumibear

my ribbit !!! we haven’t spoken much this year, but your presence was always, ALWAYS very appreciated!! i’m also very much enjoying the crush saga … in my humble opinion he wants u SO bad ashie. so bad. also, belated congratulations for getting into your chem degree, my whittle alchemist (<- ik that’s not what u are but that’s cute so u hab to accept it sorry) i hope that you always always always remember that i love you very much even when we don’t really talk!! may 2024 bring u crush and uni successes <3 can’t wait to keep up w your adventures this upcoming year as well!!!! lob u

[biebear] ; @marklyluvr

dear bylan p baller! sorry, my BELOVED BIEBEAR <33 we were already pretty good friends (i like to think) but i feel like we’ve gotten much much closer these past few months!! (or is it just me. who knows) . either way i’m really glad for that <3 because idk if u know this (u better. this is a threat.) but i love you a LOT. sorry for making u deal with me recently kjdfksbdk but thank you for hearing me out (and giving me courage also) <3 also thank you for always playing along w me when i say dumb stuff ure so cute i lob u… thank you for always being so nice to me and for being my most beloved villaintual my ohseungtual so important to me what wld i do without u… please be careful on the road!! ure still a whittle biebear so people should let u do whatever u want when ure driving but i have a feeling that they won’t :( i hope that the upcoming year treats you better than this one, i love you!! my cutieful bieloved!! ps. kissie for lillie

[bnuuy / my gabi] ; @yangsminho

my biloved <3 i already said this recently but. i really missed you an awful lot.. an so i’m SO very glad that we’ve been talking a bit more these days <3 u falling for nicho (and subsequently fuma. and) was one of the best things to happen to me this year fr . i kiss u btw . sorry for being so needy and annoying sowwy for targeting u so often when it happens its bc i love u i can’t promise i’ll be less annoying next year hope u understand… also, sure, i only know your internet persona BUT i do love you a whole lot and. this is something i’ve said before but. your internet persona is still a part of You. and i would love you no matter how and where and when i met you, i promise. thank you for being my friend, and i hope we can continue that throughout the upcoming year <3 can’t wait to hunt down nichofuu at the korean clubs w u mwah!!

[founding matthewer / my iri] ; @seokmatthewz

MY IRI WHOM I LOVE my forest witch my cherry fox (og) my shrimptual my elf chef… and most importantly recently my zebitual ofc ofc ofc. founding matthewer. i love you. btw. if u even care. i think this year was a big one for miliri!! got ur twt n subsequently ur discord i feel like i won at life. i guess im also thankful to zebi for existing so i can annoy u more… or i guess ure the one terrorising me most of the time but. as u know. i don’t mind. (also &t i’m so glad u had no other survival show to watch im so glad u decided to subject urself to &audition i love the consequences of that so bad u domt understand) i’m really really glad that we’ve been talking arguably? more this year!! i hope you’re willing to deal with me next year as well!! also excited for the 2024 miliri jesus birthday cafe run, of course!!!!! kdfkjsdnjkd ps. may 2024 bring u all the shrimp of the world. right to ur door. and say miss blue that i love her. and ur honorary catdog also &lt;3

[léksie] ; @possession1981

my léksie whom i love <3 congratulations on your graduation hehe!! things are…….the way they are recently so i feel like we haven’t kept in contact as much as i wish we did this year but i’m glad that you’re still… here, yknow!! i love you very, very, very much and you deserve nothing but all the love in the world!!! 2023 was tough, i know, and i hope that 2024 treats you so so much better… if it doesn’t ill kill the universe actually. i’ll also be crossing my fingers for a potential miléks meetup (<- literally have not discussed this w u seriously but idc i’ll be scheming)(just between lovers marathon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! when!!!!!!!!!!!) thank you for being such an amazing friend and role model, i really, really care about you and love you a lot. 

[loml / my brina] ; @aquablues

MY BRINA LOVE OF MY LIFE MY SUNSHINE MY RAINBOW MY LITTLE TULIP MY BRILOVED MY LITTLE STAR WHO IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME …. MY WORLD …. MY BABRI (baby bri) WHOM I LOVE SOSOOSOSOSOSOSOSOOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this year was a big one for you and i’m so, so, so, so, so, so proud of you always always always!!! i’m SO glad to see that your college life has been treating you well so far i’m genuinely SO happy that you’re having a good time like u dont get it i’m literally tearing up as im writing this?? anyways thank you so much for keeping me (and the rest of us) updated on your uni adventures i really appreciate it!! and as u know i would have been devastated if u just contact w me like i wld be so sad if u ever do that at least give me like a two weeks notice ok thank u… please remember that i love you i adore you i cherish you my brina!!! so much!! i hope you can continue to enjoy your uni experience in 2024 as well (without the annoying u-know-who this time). ps. i still have a jo to send u someday i just think i prob shldnt send it to ur home address considering ur parents??

[megmeg] ; @lunetual

my megmeg my beloved <33 thank you for helping me this year despite being so busie <3 even if we dont really get to talk i’m really really happy to have you in my life!! and thank you for making efforts to keep in touch despite being so busie i love u… i hope we can continue to be friends in the upcoming year hehe <3 ps. give kissies to apollo from me!!

[mr. meoweks] ; @awek-s

dear mr pawminister sir. i hope you’re doing well in this very busy season,, kjsfnksjdnfkksn hello my meoweks whom i meow (love) so so so meowch!! i thiiiiiink we might have gotten a bit closer this year and i’m very happy about that!! ik this year was definitely not easy for you so i hope that 2024 can be a much better year BUT! congratulations (yet again) on getting into ur phd program im sosoosososososososo proud of you genuinely SO proud!!!! i knew you could do it but STILL!! cant wait to be promoting ur anthology entry in the streets <3 also omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg……………… meowmeow (aweks millie) meetup i CANT WAIT head in hands im so excited u domt get it meoweks.. also i think its SO cute that u have little bunbuns now wtf tell them that i love them wtf wtf wtf they’re so cute i love them. ps. do tell me if u want me to send u the cappuccino or if u want to wait until u come over!!

[my danderion / my eri] ; @xiaojuun

my beloved eri… what can i say that i havent said yet at the beginning of the month lmao this is the hard part abt u being a december baby it’s like i don’t wanna keep repeating myself but it’s literally only been like 3 weeks. but it’s been. Very busie weeks also. it’s slightly sad to have u so busy (from a selfish standpoint bc … my ewi … i miss my ewi …) but i’m also genuinely very happy for you!! you get to do what you wanted to do where u wanted to!! AND ur not living alone!! u won big time i think!!! im also very very grateful that you’re making efforts to still keep me updated even when you’re so busy, i appreciate it a lot, really :< i love you (you already know this). and. as i said before. i am Very glad to have not a friend Like you, but You As my friend. also i hope u know that i’m taking my wittle pengeri (tuxedo sam) so so many places! in very important 2023 events i am also SO happy (and still so giddy. i am insane. and i love u.) that i got to meet you irl <33 one of my best memories of the year! thank u for being such a cute n nice guide i lob u… i hope 2024 treats you well and that we can !! continue!! to be good friends!! i love you lots <3 i really do. ps. give flo and vika a kithie from me if u can!! and sarabi too, the next time u see her <3 pps. i allowed myself to show my grandma meri christmas pics and she said ure pretty. shes right. btw if u care.

[my ina] ; @flops

MY INA WHOM I LOVE!!! i feel like every year my wishes of getting closer to u get realised !! and u have no idea how happy it makes me!! im also so so happy that u joined us over on twt im so so so glad im so glad u hab no idea im SO happy i can annoy u so much more now thank u so much… (also sorry). thank you for putting up with me and all the annoying things i send u .. its a love language (and for sending me my leo)!! i love you to bits… and yet again, i hope we can get even closer in the upcoming year <3 ps. milina meetup when

[my violet / my vyvy] ; @souladies

MY VYNAIGRETTE!!!!!!!! MY VYONCÉ!!!!!!!!!!! my violet my vyvy my viavy my vyvyney whom i love so so much my little mouse my fluffy cat my beloved fennec fox <3 i feel like we’ve gotten SO insanely closer these past few months?!?! first of all thank you so much for being my beloved dramamate <3 thank you for being okay with me live messaging u my reactions to wifty and piggy king, thank you for agreeing to (re)watch hidden love with me, thank you SO much for experiencing fiys with me, thank you (and paula) so much for welcoming me for that one insane extraordinary you episode, and thank you (and ro!) for watching the killy votey & kidnapping day with me as well!! thank you so much for always making time for me :< i really appreciate it. and more recently, thank you for being my line friend hehe <3 i really love talking to u a LOT !! idk if u can tell . thank you sm for dealing with me skjdnfksdnk i genuinely thought u were going to stop talking to me after that one piggy episode . anyways i hope that 2024 treats you well and that we can continue talking and being friends <3 also i’m very excited for the next vyllie drama, whatever it may be!! ps. tell paquito that i lob him

[pauby] ; @ghiblin

MY PAUBY!!!!!!!!! my capy <3 i lob u so much thank u for always being so cute and so nice to me!!! and thank you for allowing me into the pauney extraordinary you watch that time and for welcoming me so nicely i kithie u … i hope that 2024 treats you vewy nicely (or else!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and that we can continue to be friends <3 ps. tell ur kitty that i said hello pps. pauby to be honest i wld let u :O eat me . honestly

[princess roro] ; @sunghanbin

MY SUNSHINE MY MODEL MY PRINCESS MY BEROVED RORO!!!!!!!!!!! <33 big year for milro i wld say but also i feel like every year is… <3 thank u (and vyvy) for watching killy votey and the kidnapping day with me <3 thank you for being the girl with the prettiest smile ever <3 also just the most beautiful girl ever. i know things have been rough lately and i’m very sorry about that… i hope 2024 can bring you and your family good news! that aside, thank you for being my friend and talking to me and bickering with me and getting me into bonedo and for showing me so much love and for trusting me!! what i’m trying to say is!! i love you!! a lot!! my beroved!! and i hope you are willing to deal with me for another year <3

[puppie !!] ;

MY PUPPIE MY VENVEN MY VEN PARA whom i love. thank you for STILL being friends with me i feel like its been so long…. i don’t really know if you realize this but you’re a extremely important friend to me. genuinely. i think my life would be a lot more miserable without you. thank you for dealing with me despite everything.. amd thamk u for the kitty videos always!! i kissie u <3 i love you <3 i hope that you always remember that and that you Never ever doubt it. may 2024 treat u nicely!!!!!!!!!!! and i hope we can be friends for even longer <3 ps. pls tell my children (phantom max sassa . i feel like im forgetting someone if i am im sorry i am on my knees repenting) that i love them!!

additionally, thank you to my other mutuals that have spent this year with me!! my miha (@jaebeomtual) and lili (@ninqz) who have been so sweet ; my sarah (@wabisaba), my rosie (@kimjiwoong), my beluluved (@fushigojos), my sofsof (@yeofi), luna (@yunwooz), and my dee (@ryudaeng), who have been with me for a While now and stuck with me despite us not interacting much this year ; rachie (@gnanii) and mary (@dongkwan) whose contribution to the eri project i'm very grateful for (and they're amazing just in general as well but) ; as well as vivi (@moonsua) who's a beloved twtual &lt;3

and a special thanks to paquito and lavender ; phantom, sassa and max ; miss blue and iri's woof ; paula's cat ; eri's woofs whose names i forgot i am so sorry... & bestinez and sarabi, bestie j & ellis and florence and vika ; apollo ; lillie ; gabi's many many many animals ; grimm ; sammy and ashy ; brina's friend group. for being around my beloveds and for all the stories (amd cute pictures) involving them !!

as well as jinsung coming back bc this is my post and i can be insane <3 as a treat <3

credits!! [icons] // [ash pfp] // [bie pfp] // [gabi pfp] // [iri pfp] // [aléks pfp] // [brina pfp] // [meg pfp] // [aweks pfp] // [eri pfp] // [ina pfp] // [vy pfp] // [paula pfp] // [ro pfp] // [ven pfp]

[arc-misadventures]

There probably an ask to this, but no doubt loss in one of the numerous purges I take upon my ask box. If so; Sorry!

Growing Pains

Jaune: Ughhh…

Pyrrha: Everything go alright with the doctor, Jaune?

Jaune: Noooo…

Pyrrha: Oh no! What’s wrong! Are you dying?! Please don’t die, Jaune!!!

Jaune: What?! No, no I’m not dying!

Pyrrha: Oh thank gods…

Ren: Then what is wrong, Jaune?

Jaune: Haa… You know I went to see the doctor because of a headache I’ve been dealing with?

Ren: Yes, you said it’s been keeping you up at night so we said go see the school doctor.

Jaune: Yeah well… The doc said it wasn’t some random headache… It was growing pains…

Ren: Growing pains? Well, you’re still at that age where people go through puberty. But, why would it be giving you a headache?

Jaune: Haa… Look…

Nora: Did you bump your head?

Ren: Twice?

Pyrrha: An equal distance from each other…? Uhh… Jaune, are those pumps?

Jaune: No… They’re horns…

NPR: WHAT?!

Pyrrha: You’re growing horns?!

Nora: Dragon faunas confirmed!!!

Ren: You’re messing with us, right?

Jaune: Nope… the XRays the doc took confirmed it… I’m growing horns…

Ren: Are you okay with this, you looked pretty��� depressed.

Jaune: Haa… I don’t like how people have been treating me lately… Sure it’s better than being the butt of a joke, but I don’t like being treated as some sort of messiah figure! And, before because of the nature of my traits I could easily hide myself from the more fanatical faunas, but with this! Haa… Can’t hide horn sticking out from the side of my head… All I can hope is that they look cool, and aren’t six inches tall! That would suck.

Pyrrha: Are they going to be like that?

Jaune: Maybe; The doc says the horns may stay close to my head, and possibly fetter out the closer to the end of the horn. But, since I’m a dragon faunas they’re not sure what they’ll look like.

Nora: Have you finally accepted you place as a dragon?!

Jaune: It’s either that, or a freak… I’m going with what sounds cooler…

Pyrrha: Hahaha~! Oh that sounds just like you, Jaune.

Ren: So, are you upset you’re growing horns, or are you more concerned about the shape they may take.

Jaune: The later; Depending on the shape it will determine the burden they will place on me. And, how much of a pain in the neck they may be…

Ren: Are you being literal, or rhetorical?

Jaune: Meh, same difference.

Ren: W-What…?

Pyrrha: So, do you think you’ll be able to handle growing horns?

Jaune: Well, I talked to a bunch of horned faunas, and they gave some very helpful tips to dealing with horns. Since they’re growing I will get accustomed to the weight, and moving about with them. Most of their advice was cosmetic stuff.

Ren: Like what?

Jaune: Oh stuff like I will have to start wearing button up shirts, and other stuff like that because of how wide the horns may become.

Ren: Make sense; your probably won’t be able to get them on your head.

Pyrrha: Or, tear them ip trying to get them own.

Jaune: Yeah… They recommend that I also get ask for a longer, and wider bed to accommodate the horns. Also get reinforced, bedsheets, benefits, towels, anything like that.

Ren: Make sense.

Jaune: Oil to help maintain the condition of your horns.

Nora: That’s a thing?

Jaune: They were very insistent on this. I guess I’ll learn when the time comes…

Ren: Noted.

Jaune: Also, if I have to, I should wear little caps on the end so I don’t tear anything in my sleep…

Nora: Naww~! You’d look adorable.

Jaune: …

Jaune: So, yeah I learned a lot of useful stuff from those guys. Mostly…

Pyrrha: What did the girls say?

Ren: What makes you…?

Nora: Shh! She’s about to get very angry, don’t get in the line of fire!

Jaune: They gave me several recommendations on how to properly handle a Faunas girl with… Haaa… Handlebars… Very descriptive recommendations…

Pyrrha: Grrrrrrr!!!!

Jaune: Faunas girls are…

Ren: Excited…?

Nora: Desperate?

Pyrrha: A bunch of hormonal whores?!!

Jaune: Haa… Yeah, pretty much…

Pyrrha: Stupid hormel faunas bitches…?!

Nora: Okay… That’s it… Let’s go do some training, Pyrrha. Work out that steam! Ya!

Pyrrha: Yeah~! Bet up some faunas whores, that sounds like fun~! Hehehe~!

Ren: …

Jaune: …

Ren: You heard everything she just said, didn’t you?

Jaune: It’s cute that she forgot I can hear her grumbling. But… What she says in her grumbling…

Ren: What are you going to do?

Jaune: Haa… I’ll level with you, Ren. I’m very interested in several girls, including, Pyrrha. But… I’m unsure what I want, or what they want. So, I don’t plan on doing anything, until I’m sure what I need… What I want…

Ren: So, I take it most of the girls asking for your kids is not a willing quality?

Jaune: Well… for most of them…

Ren: …

Jaune: Oh shut it… Besides, I’m not going to bed a bunch of random girls just to have some kids! I only did that once, and I had a good reason on why I did that!

Ren: You… did…?

Jaune: Yeah, my sister, and her wife wanted a kid so they asked me to… to… uh oh…

Ren: Uh oh? What’s, Uh oh?

Jaune: I need to call my sister! I’ll be at the CCT tower if you need me!

Ren: …

Ren: Probably a faunas thing…

Ren: …

Ren: Oh…! Oh… Uh oh indeed…

[beehiveofblorbos]

Re: the post talking about Percy being blamed for a lot of things not his fault and your additions to it: I think I can actually even defend the Hylla and Reyna thing, if you’re alright with me sharing my thoughts about it like this!

So I understand that Circe’s island was the sisters’ safe place after the ordeal with their father, but unfortunately in the PJO verse I just don’t think it was a good one. Circe is very shady at best, and what she planned on doing to Percy was really screwed when you think about it in depth, especially when you consider that Percy and Annabeth (both just kids) had just survived a shipwreck and though they’d lost Tyson. And the fact she said and did so much spiteful stuff despite not even knowing him! Like I’m sorry but no.

(Ik there are other characterizations of Circe and I actually like her in certain other adaptations, but I would get incredibly derailed talking about that here so I’ll just be talking PJO canon exclusively 😅)

Contrary to what might be popular belief, she was definitely preying on the girls too. She was only nice to Annabeth when she thought to make her a servant. Once Annabeth was no longer on board with her schemes she was quick to turn on her and planned on turning her into a rodent too. And later on in Mark of Athena, I remember Chrysaor mentions having made a deal with her to deliver the girls from the Argo II because she needed more servants. Doesn’t make it sound like they’d be there willingly.

So Hylla and Reyna are angry with Percy and Annabeth for??? Escaping??? Screw Percy for not wanting to be a guinea pig? Screw Annabeth for not wanting to be Circe’s servant???

To your point that maybe more caution could have been used: like you also said, it was a rush situation, they had to escape from Circe and if I’m remembering right Annabeth actually couldn’t tell which of the hamsters was Percy which is why she had to throw all the pills so that he could get to them. They just didn’t have time for her to carefully pick him out from the bunch and feed the vitamins only to him.

Anyway this is just my two cents! I hope this analysis is alright! Actually though this whole scene in Sea of Monsters always made me very uncomfortable to the point where if/when they adapt it for Season 2 of the PJO show I think I’ll actually skip it altogether 😬

hi anon! yes that’s totally fine, I’d love to hear ur thoughts on Hylla and Reyna!

yes! I think I originally came away from SoM thinking that the girls on Circe’s island were bewitched since that’s what happened to Annabeth, but Reyna and Hylla display a startling level of clarity about their situation that does make them somewhat at fault for the continued suffering of any innocent heroes Circe had trapped

I mean I do like Circe even in PJO canon she’s not a good character but she’s cool, she’s got her part of the sea that she runs by her rules, I can respect that

Wow I totally forgot about all of that that she did to Annabeth… Ty for reminder yeah she def needed to go down

Ahh yeah your point makes sense. Essentially, even if Reyna + Hylla not somewhat complicit it’s at the very least not totally unexpected that victims of your morally bankrupt seaside resort would kill it with fire. Which resolves whatever moral dilemma remains w Annabeth loosing all the rodents; she was in a time pressured situation that they caused

yes, this was a very cool read, thank you for bringing back up all of those specific details and contextualizing everything!! so much goes on in PJO 🫠 I hope for your sake they cut as much as possible. always a chance it’ll turn out diff anyway since the show is on a different track than the books

[3416]

okay. SO! i’m not a veteran hockey fan i’m a relative rookie (haha) and i would very much appreciate your expertise… i feel like bertuzzi is a good player?? i know he doesn’t have any goals but the way he plays and seemingly gives it his all is crazy impressive and i thought he was really good with mitch and auston? but he’s no longer with them in the starting line and so i’m wondering am i missing something or is this a keefe thing or maybe both… also i don’t like reaves how do you feel about him im so sorry for unloading all of this I JUST LOVE YOUR OPINIONS ON THE LEAFS!!!

JFLKDSJKLF I'M AFRAID I WOULDN'T CALL MYSELF A VETERAN EITHER, LOL, but i do appreciate that people want to hear my opinions, though they're evolving as i learn more and more. but THANK YOU FOR ASKING MY OPINION, I LOVE TALKING, LET'S GO. SORRY FOR THE LONG POST.

bertuzzi basically became a big name at the trade deadline last year as one of the most viable guys being moved around bc teams were trying to bulk up for the playoffs. he was traded to the bruins where it took him a bit of time to warm up tbh.. he played 21 regular season games with them and only scored 4 goals 12 assists, but then scored 5 goals 5 assists in their 7 playoff games before elimination... that made him a really big target during free agency this summer bc he kinda popped off under the most pressure w the playoffs, and the leafs were basically looking to acquire forwards who can do that and bring "grit". now personally..... i don't think watching 1 round of playoff performance is like the wisest decision when he's actually a VERY injury prone player.. like he's good when he's healthy but that's not smth you can predict. but i was also kind of fine with it bc we do need left wingers on this team and it's only a one year deal. at this point i'm feeling very ????? about him because... like the underlying numbers aren't horrible but he's just not finishing. he DOES have 2 goals and 1 assist so far, but plays aren't really like... being completed it feels like when he's out there. keefe's obviously not happy with him after demoting him to 4th line last night and saying he wasn't listening to the way he needed to simplify his game, and idk anything in depth abt the leafs setup or systems or technicalities to their game specifically so. IDK.... i don't know if it's just gonna take him some time to warm up here like it did in boston? or if he's being deliberately ornery/doesn't like it here like boston fans were implying yesterday lol (i doubt it... lol he wants good stats jsut as much as anyone going into ANOTHER contract year lmfao...). there's just no way to know... idk a lot about him personally besides the anti-vax stuff but i've mostly just been... kinda unimpressed with him both on the ice and off it. i don't think he's doomed, i think we just need more time to see.

reaves... i'm gonna be honest and say i have NO clue why he was a target for us or treliving this summer, lol. there is so much discussion about bringing an intangible 'toughness' to this team despite us bringing in some mean players like simmonds and muzzin in the past ... tried it last year at the trade deadline under dubas too with schenn and ror... didn't REALLY work.. and i'm like ? why did we think it was a good idea to overpay and overcommit to a player like reaves who does nothing but offer fights on the ice and good vibes off it. like treliving hadn't been around the leafs long enough to know what they needed in the ~room~, although he did know they lost guys like holl and kerfoot who were universally liked as people so??? maybe that's what he was trying to fill?? i like ryan a lot as a person, but i do think he's actually doomed from a hockey player/stats perspective like.. we will not be getting anything more out of him as a player, and frankly after yesterday where he didn't really fight or get pushy with anyone after the marchand thing... and hasn't since the second game... i'm not sure we'll get the fighting aspect much either.

[laz-laz-ace-pilot]

I love the High Republic Jedi

I really need to talk about the Jedi in The High Republic because damn I can’t stop thinking about them and the contrast with the Jedi Order we know during the prequels.

I’ll try to keep this as spoiler-free (and coherent) as possible, but the central three books of Phase One of The High Republic follow the events of three ‘disasters’ that the Jedi try to assist with. It’s also a time when the Republic is expanding into the Outer Rim, and when unity is the calling card of this movement. And the Jedi respond to each of these disasters by working together – I know that sounds pretty basic written like that, but these books cover several perspectives as they come up with plan after plan to help save lives, however they can, pushing the limits of the Force together to achieve their goals.

But the Order isn’t just one monolith of thought; the series explores perspectives that we largely don’t see in the mainstream content around the Prequel Era – from newly-made Council members struggling with Coruscant priorities versus the realities of the Outer Rim, to Padawans who just want to study the galaxy, or who have to learn under new Masters when their previous one dies. New Jedi Knights who are given Padawans they’re not ready for. Jedi who question the close relationship with the Republic. Jedi who struggle with grief but don’t go on a genocidal rampage to deal with it. Jedi who go on soul-searching journeys after using the Dark Side to save lives.

It explores how Jedi interpret the Force through different lenses; some understand it as music, some visualise it as a vast ocean, some like a vast constellation of stars. How these lenses help them explore new abilities, but also how they need to look beyond that to overcome their weaknesses.

Then there are whole areas and disciplines that no longer exist in the Prequel Era – the autonomy of Jedi temples far away from the Core and the Jedi Council, raising Jedi that may never even see Coruscant. Jedi who disagree with the direction of the Council, or the Order, and strike out on their own, but remain Jedi. Wayseekers, who follow the direction of the Force above all else. Mediative retreats that can last whole lifetimes, like the Barash Vow. Shit, Yoda goes on fucking sabbatical!

And then there’s the crazy stuff that a lot of Disney Star Wars could never do. The Jedi to ex-Jedi mercenary mindmeld/ drift compatible moment that allows them to tame two dragons to ride into battle. The ancient creature capable of cutting Force Sensitives off from the Force and husking them. Yoda had a non-binary Padawan who left the Order for a hot boy they met at the circus. Autistic Jedi. Asexual Jedi. SO MANY LESBIANS.

But at the core of it all is teamwork and compassion. Even as threats escalate throughout the story, the Jedi retain their respect for life throughout, and avoid taking it where they can, mourning it when they do. And as more lives are lost and Jedi are traumatised by the events they see, they actually address this trauma and how it might affect a Jedi’s ability to keep to the Code. There are no chosen ones or super powerful Jedi that save the day; everyone pitches in what they can to help the greater effort. And its this that inspires unity within the Republic – selfless compassion for any stranger who needs them, who act together to achieve the impossible.

I don’t know if this even makes any sense but I love the High Republic Jedi so much and I absolutely recommend the series to everyone, but especially to people who only know the Jedi through Obi-Wan and Anakin and Ahsoka because it is so much more than that.

And I just know, in my heart, that if Yoda had announced to them that they had no other choice but to split up and become Generals to battalions of slave soldiers who were going to be slaughtered in their millions under the direction of an increasing corrupt Senate, they would have put him in a retirement home so fast and there wouldn’t have been a Clone War.

Just saying.

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

May I please request “You’re perfect just the way you are” for Peter please? Istg, our short king deserves so much love.

uuuugh you're so right!! give him kisses ;w;

105 Comfort Prompts

28. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”

Most of the time, you can’t blame PETER for being angry and bitter.

He’s a man who the rest of the world look at as if he’s a child. If someone doesn’t disbelieve him that he’s an adult, they’re making fun of him because he looks different than other men. It’s not even only him; the rest of his family have been outcast, mocked, jeered at, derided, just for existing in a way that isn’t the way many people exist.

It’s wrong and horrible, and you can’t fault him for being furious about the way he and his loved ones have been treated.

… But he never acts like this. He never just lies in bed, curled up, huffily scooting away from you every time you try to touch him. For all his insecurity, he’d rather let it burn brightly and deny to the world that anything is ‘wrong’ with him, instead of letting himself get lost in it and isolate himself in sadness.

You’re not sure exactly what happened. You could wager a guess, of course. The only words he’s spoken to you are to tell you that you should get out, you should leave him, you should go find a real man instead of half a man.

Like hell that’s happening. Whether he likes it or not, he’s a real man. So you’re not going anywhere, no matter how much he tries to push you away.

“I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s going on,” you sigh as you stretch out next to him. If he actually doesn’t want you here, he has no qualms at all about kicking you out of the bed or out of his tent. (He’s done it before when he needs time to himself, so there’s nothing stopping him from doing it again.) As long as he doesn’t do that, even if he’s upset, there must be some part of him which wants you here. “And I hate to be the one to tell you, since you don’t already know, but you’re stuck with me.”

He scoffs, although it sounds significantly less frustrated than usual. He just sounds… defeated. “Wot are y’ stickin’ round f’r, anyway, ‘uh? Wot y’ think’s gonna ‘appen? Y’re gonna get sick’a me. Ain’t gonna marry me ‘r nothin’. I wouldn’t marry me. Y’re gonna get tired’a ‘avin’ t’ bend down t’ kiss me, ‘r y’re gonna get irrita’ed with me not bein’ able t’ reach stuff without climbin’ on somethin’… ‘ow many more times can y’ take people askin’ if I’m y’r son before y’ get fed up with it?”

The way he curls in on himself makes him look so, so small and vulnerable. As if he really, truly thinks there’s something so fundamentally wrong with him that you’re going to just stop loving him one day. “Y’ can’t promise y’re gonna stick round,” he mumbles. “Y’re gonna find somethin’ y’ can’t deal with. Somethin’ about me that jus’ ain’t worth it. Always ‘appens. ‘Cause God was prob’ly fuckin’ drunk when ‘E made me. Jus’ a joke. Jus’ stupid. Go on, then, get movin’.”

You’re certain he expects you to just leave after all that. Surely, he’s said similar things to other people who’ve left him. The only thing you know about that part of his past is that he’s told you that very few people have ever stayed longer than a month or two with him, if that.

You don’t want to be like everyone else. You want to stay.

“I don’t believe God was drunk when He made you, Peter. I think He just… knew the same thing that I do.” You gently wrap your arms around your lover’s middle, pulling him closer to you. Despite the fact that he fusses a little, (making these little sounds that mean he just doesn’t know what to do with your kindness), he settles into it quickly. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”

When you get a snort of disbelief for your trouble, you simply draw him in against your chest, pressing a kiss into his hair. “If I don’t think you’re perfect, then why do I smile when I get to cuddle with you in bed? Why do I always start the applause after you and Wendy do your performance? Why do I wish you had a surname so I could imagine it following my first name?”

You only know that he’s starting to cry because of his breathing. Because he always does those short, quick, copious breaths when he’s trying not to lose control and start sobbing.

Has he ever noticed any of these things before, excepting the last one? Did he not realize just how wonderful you think he is and how happy you are that he’s alive so you get to share your life with him?

“I love you, so much.” You nestle your face into his neck, and you let your hands slip up under his shirt. “If you want me to show you just how perfect you are, I can.”

Of course… you don’t want him to think that’s all he’s good for. “Or I can just lie here and tell you every single little thing I love about you,” you whisper into his ear, before ducking back into his neck to kiss the tender skin there. “Your call, sweetheart.”

His breathing goes funny, in a different way. You wonder if he’s conflicted about which he should choose; sex or compliments. As it happens, you’re capable and willing of giving both. You’re just not about to take advantage of him in a bad moment.

At last, he shifts around to reach down, curling his fingers around yours under his shirt.

“Keep talkin’,” he murmurs. “… But keep y’r ‘and right there while y’ do.”

[cocogrrrl]

rendezvous

Chapter 6: Poorly Disguised Exposition

captain yates and kyle share a conversation.

wc: 1050 no cws check the series masterlist here! previous chapter

an: i changed quite a couple detail from last chapter whoops guys so check out the last chapter again 😧 sorry 4 the shorter chapters, the next one's definitely gonna be a lot longer ! I'm almost done w the next chap :P

He took the offer.

It’s only been three days. He hasn’t gotten any major clues yet, but none of the tasks he’s been given weren't been crimes yet. They typically ranged from wearing his hair up at work to pouring himself a drink. He’d send photos of him doing them and would receive small hints like timeframes, small connections, et cetera. It wasn’t much, but every detail helped.

He felt like this was cheating, though. He’s always lived by the code that a good detective does their work independently and definitely separately from the doer of the crime. It seems that he was a bad detective then.

Kenny and Kevin had no idea of this. Even if they were people he knew he could trust, he was in a messy place. More voices could just fuel the chaos even further.

“So, how’s it going, Broflovski?” Captain Yates greeted, giving two pats on the back.

Currently, Kyle’s nose was glued onto his desk. “It’s been going well. I just need more evidence on YN. I’m sure it’s her.”

“Yeah?”

“Positive.” He sighed, looking over all the evidence again.

“You think you can give me a rundown on the case details again?”

“How come, sir?” Kyle asked confused. I mean, his captain is the one managing him. Wouldn’t he have a scope of the cases his people deal with?

“Oh, well, fuck me. I can’t be forgetful now, can’t I?” He spat with a roll of the eye.

“Sir, this is a string of murders. I don’t think this is something you can just,” he paused, a hint of judgment in the gaze he gave his higher-up. “Brush something off like that…”

“I’m sorry then.” He hissed, tone heavy in sarcasm.

He only hummed in reply, not wanting to give in submission to his boss. “Here’s the rundown of the case anyway, captain.” Well, he didn’t want to directly submit to his boss. He said, handing him the files.

“Basically,” Kyle breathed. “The string of murders around the South Park area have all been connected by, primarily, one detail: written letters on the sites. I’m not exactly sure how all these people are connected yet, unfortunately.”

“Yeah, yeah. What about the letters, though?”

“The letters, uh,” he scrambled through the bagged papers. “They were signed with the name ‘Annabel Lee.’ I assume that this isn’t the name of the person, seeing how we have zero records of anyone with that name that lives here. I believe it’s someone who likes poetry, though?”

“The fuck does poetry have to do with murder?”

“Well, you see, Edgar Allan Poe has this poem called ‘Annabel Lee,’ and it’s about love and all that other crappy destiny sad stuff. The letters at the crime scene were love letters.” This connection had come from the anonymous texter. How wonderful. His own sense of shame hung over him as he said this fact.

“Psh, whoever wrote that must be a pussy.” He said, swigging his coffee around like it had a lid on (it didn’t). ”I don’t think that the gang leader you’re catching is that big of a loser, kid.”

“I know, I know, but I got some information from a friend that she recently came back from a real bad heartbreak.” Once more, information from the texter.

A captious look from the captain struck Kyle. “So, she’s killing people because they remind her of her ex or something?”

“Well, it sounds stupid if you put it like that, but look!” He nervously spoke up. “All the people here have connections with her and her gang one way or another. I still have to collect a copy of her handwriting to have it compared. I'm sure it's her.s.”

For some stupid reason, his certainty slowly dissipated from his spine. He felt like he was withering. He’s extremely sure of himself and of what little information, don’t get him wrong, but his confidence seemed to falter whenever challenged. At least, now, though.

Despite the tough skin he seems to showcase, Kyle is a fragile man at his core. Any sort of judgment he’s faced with, he immediately starts to spiral and rethink every single decision he’s ever made. Assurance is not assured for him.

“Huh.” He nodded. The nod provided a strange feeling of gratification for him. It felt like a ‘Good job!’ sticker for Kyle. It eased all the worries that came a split second ago instantly.

Slowly regaining his confidence, he continued. “Yeah. If I’m correct, she met up with them at least 5 days prior to their deaths. Knowing how she’s our biggest threat to lower crime rates here, it might be no wonder why people have been dying left and right.”

“So from loan shark to murderer, she's only causing more crime here, huh?”

“Yes. I am a hundred percent certain. I just need the evidence.”

“Well, you go do that, kiddo.” He said, concluding their conversation as he headed back to his office.

A breath Kyle didn’t even realize he was holding was let out. He put the files back in their place and quickly found himself slumped over his desk. He didn’t know why, but that conversation felt like it took his everything just to sludge through it.

Could it have been because he hated being around Captain Yates? That his very presence next to Kyle makes him want to shrivel up and evaporate? Possibly, but unlikely.

In truth, it’s probably because of Kyle’s delicate self, but that’s something he’s not gonna touch on for now. It’s too heavy for a time when other people need him more than he could possibly need himself.

A noise swept him off of his thoughts, though. It was a notification from YN. Actually, it was quite a few messages from YN.

Speaking of which, he hadn’t really talked to you since that previous night. I mean, sure, you two messaged each other back and forth every couple of hours, but you haven’t had a full proper conversation since. He should probably ask you out soon.

April 3, 11:21 AM

yn hi brad!! the girls and i are going out tonight and i was wondering if you wanted to continue where we left off??

Huh. Seems like she did the job for him then.

next chapter.