#I might have to go inpatient

[danieyells]

Sometimes I ask myself unnecessary questions such as "if someone made a design for Subaru's sister is that an OC or a canon"

Technically she doesn't have a canon name or design we just know she married into a rival troupe and Leo theorizes that Subaru didn't take this well or something

But she is a canonical entity. Like if someone made a design for Jin's dad I'd list him under canons. So in that same vein I'd have to say an OC design for Subaru's sister is canon right???

[forgotten-daydreamer]

tmi probably

my lunatic ass after telling my therapist "i have a thousand voices in my head all the time, and they tell me all the possibilities, so i deserve to know the future and i actually see it most of the times!" when he replies "not really. none of us can see it, you are just hyperactive and manic."

[rosicheeks]

Been thinking about you hon, missed seeing you around. Glad to have you pop up in my feed again ❤️

[caffeinatedopossum]

Why are there always new symptoms showing up?? I just want a fucking break ;-;

[inkykeiji]

v glad he came home even tho his stats literally suck so bad 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

[longlegsnamjoon420]

Doc took me off my antidepressant to prep me to start a new one and I already feel fucking withdrawal and weirdness this is exactly why I wanted to be inpatient this is dangerously to do when someone is already having suicidal thoughts. Now I get to deal with this on top of trying to figure out my job situation I fuckin cannot handle all this

[scarletcomet]

my therapist agrees with me that i need more than 1 hr of therapy a week :\

[tjwritesfanfics]

Stupid (Spencer Reid)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: You wanted his attention. Now you had it.

Rating: Mature 18+ only

Warnings: Public sexiness, Reid is a meanie and uses a bullet vibrator, oral (m receiving), degrading, public sex, unprotected sex (guys plz be safe), Reid curses (it is a warning so don't even)

Words: 1.2k

Main Masterlist | Criminal Minds Masterlist

AN: This story is mainly for @reidgif I hope you like it!

The buzzing sounds was satisfying to Spencer’s ears. Though not as much as your whimpers and quiet moans.

His fingers play with the feel of the remote of the bullet vibrator in his hand, eyes glued to the case file that he was reviewing.

“Spencer…”

“I am not moving. I told you earlier when you decided to so desperately get my attention and be a brat in front of the others, that you were going to be punished.” His dark eyes flicked from the report to where you were standing by the suspect board. “Now you need to keep working or we will never get to go back to the hotel.”

You let out a sob but turned back to the white board and lifted your hand to shakily write something on it. You knew that when you dragged Spencer on a “lunch break” only to want to eat him.

“Oh fuck,” Spencer moaned, his hands gripping your hair as he guided your head up and down his cock, “you are going to be in so much trouble later, you fucking inpatient slut.”

All you could do was moan around him, not caring at the moment what was coming later. All you wanted was him. To feel him. The taste of him on your tongue.

Your eyes met his, teary and cheeks hollowing out, propelling him towards his climax until he came in your mouth, giving you the “lunch” you wanted.

Now here you were, in a (thankfully) empty precinct, underwear sitting on the table and a bullet vibrator inside you going at a slow steady pace. 

There would be times you would get used to the slow vibration, thinking you could work peacefully, but Spencer was attuned to you and would crank the dial higher, dropping you to your knees in a moaning mess, the pulsing pushing your close and closer to a high you so desperately wanted, one you had been denied for an hour now, only for him to quickly turn it back to the dull buzz.

“I think he is specifically targeting women with blonde hair.” You were able to squeak out something, surprised with yourself that you were able to make it through the sentence without losing yourself.

Spencer let out a low chuckle, the sound sending a shiver up your spine since he was much closer then he was before. When did he get up?

“I can’t believe this has rendered you this stupid,” His finger bumps up the vibration once, a whimper escaping your throat, “since that was something we already knew. Anyone with eyes could tell that they are all blondes.”

“B but-”

“Don’t you even finish that sentence.” Spencer rolled his eyes, stepping back from you and started moving some of the papers from the conference table. “I don’t want to hear it from a crybaby like you. You are so lucky you are so cute because if I had known how stupid you were, I would have just done this myself.”

You knew he didn’t mean the words he was saying, but right now you almost did believe him. You were so horny and wet that it didn’t matter about the case, as horrible as that may seem.

“I might as well get something out of being here with you. Get over here and bend over.”

If you were in your right mind, you would have been embarrassed with how fast you complied with his order. The coolness of the conference table feels amazing against the flush of your skin.

Spencer let out a cruel laugh at your eagerness, but didn’t say anything. No, instead he cracked the bullet up as far as it could go.

A scream ripped from you, the feeling a blessing and a curse, driving you physically up the conference table and sensually closer to your end. Your legs shaking and the only thing holding you up was Spencer’s hand on your lower back, his gentle touch contrasting with the harshness of his actions and words.

“God look at you. Crying from how good that feels huh? Isn’t this what you wanted? My attention? Well guess what you fucking slut,” He leaned in close, his weight pressing you into the table, his sent filling your head, “You have it.”

Whines and cries fill the room, the best thing Spencer has ever heard as you finally are forced to let go of the tension coiling in your gut. Curses flying past your lips as well as his name.

If anyone just so happened to come into the precinct now, they would know exactly what was happening and who was making you feel this good.

Spencer pulled the bullet out of your cunt by the string, throwing it behind him and not even bothering to turn it off. Slumping against the table, bliss completely deafening you to the sound of Spencer undoing his belt.

Next thing you knew your leg was being lifted up to rest on the table and the blunt head of his cock was pressing into you, one swift thrust filling you to the brim.

“Oh shit!” You cry, fresh tears streaking down your cheeks.

Spencer groaned, his lips coming to kiss the back of your neck and up to your ear, his facial hair lightly tickling you. “You are so wet. Feels so good.”

That was the nicest thing he has said to you all day.

Drawing back just enough for his tip to be the only thing inside, you could feel his smirk and knew that the one kind word was the only thing you were getting out of him tonight. He snapped his hips, driving completely into you again.

He repeated this over and over, harsher with each thrust he drove into you. It was so good that all you could do was moan and drool against the table.

His laugh filled the room alongside the other sounds. “Look at you! So cockstupid that you would let me do absolutely anything I wanted. Who’s pussy is this?”

When you didn’t, couldn’t, answer him, Spencer gripped your hair, tugging you back to him and the new angle had him hitting that spot that made you see spots.

“Answer me. Come on. I know you can do it. Who’s. Pussy. Is this?” He accentuated every word with a deep thrust into you.

“Yours! Spencer, all yours!”

“Good girl.”

His thrusts continued assaulting you, pressing and pushing you into the table and into him. All you could feel was Spencer. All you could care about at the moment was Spencer.

“Oh shit.” He cursed, his blunt nails digging into your hips as he cums, painting your walls white.

Spencer stilled for a moment. You whimper and wiggle your hips for him, silently begging him to continue since you were so close. But you should have seen this next part coming. Didn’t make it any less horrible when he pulled out of you and stuffed himself back into his pants.

“No!” You cry. “Please please Spencer!”

“I’m tired and going back to the hotel. You coming?”

He smirked and you glowered at his double entendre. “Yes I am.”

“Not without me, my stupid girl.”

With that Spencer grabbed your panties, showing you that he was not even going to let you put them back on, and strode out of the conference room.

“Brats don’t get to cum. Maybe you will learn.”

(Banners by cafekitsune)

[sheinhamood]

hooked on her fishnets

paige x black f!reader

synopsis: you and paige go out on a date and paige is yet again reminded why you’re all hers

warnings: sexual tension ?

word count: 284 [lowercase intended!]

funky talks: pleasee pleaseee reblog, and like ily thx

“y/n are you almost done?” paige sits in you’re shared bedroom fully dressed waiting for you to come out the bathroom. “yes i’m almost done”

you have been saying that for the past hour now. paige becoming inpatient and needing to know what is taking you so long. “y/n i’m coming in” she says now getting up from the bed.

now posing in the mirror taking photos not hearing what paige had said, are now face to face with a stunned paige. “hey baby you look good” you grit awkwardly, terrified of what she might say about what you’re wearing.

you’re outfit consisted of a slim black dress that hugged you’re body and fishnets that covered your legs, reveling more skin in different parts of your thighs. lastly with thigh high boots.

paige still standing in the doorway , her eyes roaming your body. “paige?” looking at paige she looks as if she’s frozen in time, not moving or speaking, and barely breathing. her eyes locked in to you’re thighs.

“do you not like it? i can go change?” you say getting worried. paige starts looking down at the ground gathering herself “y/n” with paige saying little to nothing you don’t do anything but start walking back to you’re closet.

“wait what are you doing?” you look at paige with face mixed with confusion and frustration. “i’m going to go change paige” “no, no stay in that” you start to smile still not really understanding what paige is doing.

“i just had to take a minute and admire you baby” paige says watching as you walk out the bathroom. “omg, you play extremely to much” you say laughing. “send me those photos, you looked too good”

thank you for reading! i heart you so much mwah mwah

masterlist

[daisymbin]

the unplanned date - kim mingyu

warnings: suggestive but not really! just light mentions of past sexual events but thats all. slight use of profanities

pairings: kim mingyu x reader

genre: situationship to lovers lmaooo

wc: 2.8k

a/n: 1. fuck taeil

2. this was originally written for jeonghan but i felt it fitted mingyu better

3. please this took fucking forever because I kept getting writers block and hated the flow but I think I'm satisfied with it now

check out my masterlist!

"what? she's cheating on me?” mingyu asked in disbelief. “and what do you mean she's not my girlfriend?” mingyu angrily questioned jun with a slightly raised voice; his forehead and eyebrows scrunched in anger and confusion. “what the hell are you talking about? since when in the world did the two of you date? in another alternate universe??? all she did was go out on one date!” jun countered as he walks to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. at that, mingyu left their shared apartment, heading straight to yours; needing answers.

you jump when you hear your doorbell ring, “were you expecting someone?” your roommate seungcheol asked as you both exchange glances while he notes the time, it's 3:07am. “no?” you said as you got up from the sofa where you had been lounging on with seungcheol, binge watching the entire high school musical series but seungcheol stopped you, “wait, i'll get it. its late, it could be some creepy old man.” seungcheol rushed to open the door while you followed close by behind him. as soon as he opened the door, you were both met with a messy, disheveled hair kim mingyu. he’s panting so much that for a second, he looks like he might actually pass out. “mingyu? what are you doing here at this hour?” seungcheol asked as he opened the door wider for him to enter. “did you run here???” you asked. “yes but thats not the point right now,” mingyu pauses to catch his breath, “did you go out on a date with jun's classmate? are you cheating on me?”

seungcheol's brows slightly furrowed at mingyu's words, “woah calm down. why dont you come in first?” he asked as he tugged on mingyu's sleeves, ushering him in. “alright, im gonna be in my room to give you two some….privacy. no funny business please, its 3am and I could use some sleep.”

mingyu inpatiently waited for seungcheol to retreat to his room before he sprung his question yet again onto you. “so??? are you not going to answer me??” it was clear that mingyu is frustrated as he laid his clenched fist on the kitchen counter. “what the fuck are you talking about? cheating on you? we're not even together!” you countered back as your forehead and eyebrows scrunched in confusion & slight anger matching mingyu's. “I'm asking you why the hell I just heard from jun that you went on a date with that new guy boy from his biology class?” mingyu knew he was being slightly petty but still, how could you? you watched as he slowly unclench his fists only to grip at the corners of the kitchen counter. “like i said, you and i? we're not together mingyu. I'm free to date whoever I want, isn't it? that was the rule you set, is it not?” you asked in anger.

“what do you mean we're not together?” mingyu paused before he continued. his question was laced with confusion and a hint of heartbreak but of course, he tried to mask it with even more frustration. “we hold on hands all the damn time y/n! we spend time together, A LOT of time together might i add, we stay over at each other's place, we nap together, we sleep together, we cuddle, we hug, we kiss, you play with my hair all the time and i do too! i mean, for god's sake, we fuck each other! what do you mean we're not together?”

“so what, mingyu?’’ your own voice and tone took you aback for a second, the words came out harsher than you would have liked but you dont falter. “weren’t you the one who said you didn't want anything serious to begin with? weren't you the one who said that we’re only keeping things casual and nothing more? so why are you here at my apartment at ass o'clock screaming at me about cheating on you?” you had made sure to put out air quotes for those last 3 words.

this time, there was a clear dip in mingyu's voice, softer, more tender, more vulnerable. “well…yes but that was before.. that was when we were still… I don't know, fucking around but now we're definitely not! the things we do are definitely not just… fucking around things! you know what I mean! why are you making this so hard!” mingyu was exasperated, that much was clear. you watch as he now has his arms folded and his pout coming to light, making your heart clench at the sight. “gyu...” you said as you let out a small sigh, mingyu perked up at his nickname, his gaze shifting to you. “I'm not trying to make anything hard and you know that. how was i supposed to know anything? how was i supposed to know what you want if you don't tell me?”

“I thought you'd know by now…i-i thought it was obvious by now…I thought we both…”

“you thought we both what mingyu? you can't just keep all these thoughts to yourself without telling me and expect me to know anything because trust me, I don't! I don't know how you feel about me, I don't know if any of this is as serious for you as it is for me, god, I don't know what your intentions are! all I know from you is that this is all just casual and nothing more! and you know what's the worst part of it all? it's that I can't even ask you about it because then I'm gonna come off as clingy and needy and it's pathetic to even imagine presenting myself that way to you!” your lips were now pressed together in a thin line; an overwhelming feeling of shame and embarrassment taking over you, forcing you to look away from him to avoid eye contact and you start to feel your eyes prick you with tears threatening to spill.

“you know I'd never think that of you... i just…I'm not good with words. I don't know how to tell you what I want or how I feel about you. I just get so tongue tied when it comes to you. I really thought that maybe if I lo-” mingyu all but stopped himself with a deep sigh, unable to voice out his hidden feelings for you. he took a few seconds to find a replacement for that word before he took another deep breath & continued, “I really thought that maybe if I just… let things be and let my feelings act on their own that maybe you'd pick up on it and we would just…” he ended with a sigh that was barely audible. you would have missed it if you weren't all focused on him.

his voice trailing off and quivering only forced you to quickly blink your tears away to look back at him; the sight of his shoulders slumped and his head looking down, not meeting your eyes only broke your heart even more. is it possible for your heart to feel so heavy and sad, yet filled with so much hope? because that's definitely how you're feeling right now.

regardless of how much you think you know what mingyu is trying to say, you still wanted him to say it, you still wanted to hear it from him. this friends with benefits situationship thing has been going on long enough for a year & a half now & that doesnt include the years before when you were both friends. everyone knows you're both kind of a thing yet not really. no matter how much the boys pushed for mingyu to make it official, mingyu always brushed them off and said that he didn't have to, that you already know what you both had, but in this moment, it dawned on him that what he thought he had with you isn't what you thought you had with him. all the self loathe and heartbreak he's feeling right now couldn't have made him feel more stupid than he already was.

“gyu can you- can you try? can you try telling me? Just… take your time, im here, im listening, I have all the time in the world for you, just try baby. I just want to know how you really feel, I just want to know what you want for yourself and for us.” your hands reached out for his with a mind of its own.

looking down at your joined hands, mingyu starts moving his thumb mindlessly at the back of your hand, caressing them gently. it's now that he realizes how utterly stupid he has been. “baby i-” yours eyes follow his hands as they now draw circles on yours as you gave him a light squeeze of encouragement. “go on gyu, im listening.”

“I don't know how to do this. I know I said I didn't want anything serious at the start of it and that it's just casual but… but that was before you- do you remember our first date?” mingyu gathers all the courage he could find in himself and cautiously brings his eyes to yours. “what date?” you didn't want to sound rude or cold but as far as you could remember, you've never had any dates with mingyu. your relationship with him started off as just being friends for years, evolving into a friends with benefits situation which was strictly only physical needs late at night, outside of that, you were nothing more, well, at least for the first few months that is. until….unless..? was he talking about the first time you both hung out together alone without the boys outside of the bedroom and while the sun is still out? “do you mean…the flea market?” you asked as realization dawned on you; that was the day your friends with benefits relationship evolved into something that was like a relationship but not really, the cursed situationship type of thing.

mingyu chuckles as he realizes how sentimental he looks right now, although, he's not sure if you can tell. his shy smile and fangs peeking through as he watches the gears in your head turn. “well..what about that day mingyu?” truth be told, you remember that day clear as day, but you can't pinpoint exactly what mingyu is trying to say; there wasn't really anything…special or anything that stood out that day, well, other than the fact that you were both out and not in bed that is.

“that was the first time we hung out together alone after we started the whole friends with benefits thing. do you remember? that night before that, when we broke our first rule of not sleeping over?” a quiet mhm was all you could let out, unsure of where mingyu is going with this. “do you even remember why I called you over that night?”

“you were sad. your hamster….he passed away.” you said carefully. “mhm he did. and that evening, that night, it was the first time you came over and we didn't…we didn't do anything. you held me, comforted me and let me wet your t-shirt with my tears. you insisted on putting me to bed and cuddling me to sleep for the first time and told me that you'd leave after I've fallen asleep. I still remember your slight hesitation that night when I'd asked you to stay over and not leave. did you know? i felt my heart sank a little when you hesitated but that was just the first of many realization that i- that i was in love with you.” your heart fluttered at his admission, “the first of many? were there more?”

for the first time tonight, mingyu let out a laugh, the one you loved so much. “of course there's more. when we woke up the next morning, my head was pounding so bad from all the crying the night before and I was so sad when I woke up alone in bed because I thought you had left but it was almost as if you had some psychic power and knew I was awake, you were screaming from the kitchen saying you know I was awake and asked me to get my ass over to the kitchen!” mingyu laughed harder this time, his hand coming up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “that was because I had just came back from the bakery! my hands were full so I accidentally let the door slam a little and I was sure that that would have woken you up!” you giggled while trying to defend yourself.

“you even got me my favourite cake from the bakery and all my other favourite pastries for breakfast. you must have been so in love with me ~" mingyu joked while raising his eyebrows suspiciously at you and you all but fall silent. you cleared your throat before you teased him back, “so? that's why you like me? because I cuddled you to sleep and bought you food? how easy can you be kim mingyu!”

“no that's not why! although i'll admit, it did click something in me. made me realise how well you know me and how well you take care of me. but that wasn't it! it was when you suggested we go to the flea market after breakfast just to take a walk to clear my mind for a bit. do you remember what happened there?”

“we walked and talked about silly things as always, what else? ah, you tried tanghulu for the first time! I remember that.” you recall giddily at how his eyes widened brightly at the sweetness of tanghulu when he took his first bite. “not that, silly! we ran into your ex & I had told him that i was your boyfriend and asked him to back off, do you know why I did that?” “because you pity me?” you joked, you know mingyu would never pity you, he's not a bad person but you couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease him. mingyu sighed dramatically at that, “no, I said I was your boyfriend because I saw the way he was looking at you…and it made me jealous. it made me realise that, that's the way I always look at you. it made me realise that I don't ever want anyone else to look at you that way and that I want you to look at me that way. me and only me. i-i realised that it's not just sex I want with you. that's why after that day, I kept bringing us out for dinner and stuff. or even just to hang out at home and watch stupid romcoms just to spend time with you. so I thought that, when our relationship from simply friends with benefits isn't friends with benefits anymore that you'd get it i guess…i don't know…saying it out loud right now sounds so stupid… I probably should have said something earlier… I'm sorry.” mingyu had his eyes on his hands again, guilt and embarrassment washing over him.

"thank you, gyu-ah. I really needed to hear all of that from you.” you lifted your hand to rest your palm on his cheeks, guiding his eyes back to you. “does that mean you like me too?” silly silly kim mingyu you thought. “no of course not!” you joked a failed joke because it seems kim mingyu didn't get the joke when he let out a quiet oh. “you're so silly kim mingyu. can't you tell im in love with you by now? how much more obvious can a girl get?” mingyu ears perked up at your words, then, smiling so big his jaws almost hurt. his hands turn to pull you by your wrists, placing them around his waist as he pulled you into a hug. your hands move up to rest on his neck and the other in his hair, tugging them lightly at the scalp. “I love you, I'll do better for you.” he spoke so close to your ear his lips almost brush them. “I love you too, thank you, I'll do better for you too.” your words only caused mingyu to tighten his hold on you, “can we go to bed now? I'm so tired and I want to sleep with my girlfriend.” he whined pouting. “yes we can, boyfriend.” you answered with a smile as you start dragging your big puppy into your bedroom, excited for more cuddles to come.

[aliesbienish]

Could you do Benedict Bridgerton with wife pregnant!reader? She was panicking about something and didn't stop rambling the moment she saw him. He surprises her by kissing her, effectively silencing her and she melts against him. She knew even if the world would end, hw was the only one who could calm her down. Just something fluff and maybe a little suggestive 👀 Thanks!! :))

Oh baby

Hi anon, hope you enjoy. Probably went a little hard on the angst and a little lacking in the suggestiveness... it got away from me. xx ---------

The doubts kept creeping in today, nothing was able to distract you from your thoughts. Your book laid face down on the window seat, your journal stayed blank. Instead of being productive, here you were just staring out the window bringing yourself to a panic. Everyone said the reservations were normal, and logically you knew that they were unfounded. But the rumination going on seemed to have kicked logic out the window.

Becoming a mother suddenly seemed like an occasion you couldn't rise to. All the ways you could screw up your poor child, which your brain was unhelpfully bringing up in spades, seemed daunting. Suddenly being trusted to keep a little human alive without any proof of competence was ludicrous. So you had spent the day stuck in your thoughts staring out your bedroom window.

And now you need to get them out before you exploded. Ready to share you headed to your husbands studio down the hall, not bothering to knock. He was engrossed in a painting, streaks of colour covering what was once a white shirt.

"Hi Honey. How are---" Benedict began before you interrupted with word vomit.

"I don't think I can do this Ben. Maybe I am not fit to be a mother, I'm too selfish. I have never had to look after anyone but myself, no poor child deserves a mother like that."

"Babe, what --"

"I have absolutely no clue what I am doing. What if I hurt them? Or am inpatient with them?"

"Sweetie plea-"

"I'm so scared I will be a bad mum." You sighed, ready to spell out exactly all the ways you thought that might be the case. Instead you were updated by a soft peck on your lips and a gentle hand stroking you cheek. Benedicts soft lips pulled back and he rested his forehead against your own.

"Honey, you are the most loving, kind person I know. You were made for this role, I just know it. You will meet our baby and the love will overflow and I will be in awe with you. Our baby will be soo very lucky to have you as their mum,"

"But what if I don't know what to do?"

"Then we find out, we are surrounded by loving, strong mothers. We can reach out to my mum, or Daphne, or Kate. You are not alone." Another stroke to your cheek from Benedict and you could finally felt like you could breathe again.

You nodded gently against Benedict's forehead before grabbing his hand from your check, taking it in your own and moving it down to your swollen belly.

"I love you Ben. You will be an amazing father."

[anaconamor]

imagine having an argument with jude and giving him attitude all day but he’s just so patient and so during your night routine while doing skin care or smth he’s all “darling im so sorry…” blah blah blah but then lectures you in a loving way to not ignore him and instead talk your feelings out 💋

okay but why would this be me?? i will hold onto that grudge until i feel time is right 😔🤞🏻this is slightly longer, and not proofread!! but like always hope you enjoy😘

your hands are interlocked together. well… kinda. his is fully locked with yours, fingers wrapped on your knuckles as your hand is just in place and fingers spread out. he’d been begging for your attention. a small smile, tiny meep, or even a small nudge from you. but you refused to even look at him. saving whatever you had to say in you to further cause tension in the car.

“y/n?”

“don’t talk to me. you might even forget what i’ll say the second i’m done speaking…”

“i want to talk it out! i wanna communicate that with you!”

“yet you didn’t care when i did… i don’t care jude!”

you forgot what you were even arguing about. it was just now you being petty and paying back like all those times he had done to you. clearly it was affecting him as he started to send you text messages to get a reaction. once again he was met with nothing. jude frowning and looking away like you were.

he knew if he removed his hand from yours he maybe would’ve gotten something at of you, but he knew how close and attached you were so jude retreated the idea, not wanting to face an even more upset and angry y/n. if there was jude one thing hated was seeing you mad, sad, upset, anything, because of him. knowing he was the reason he hated it.

of course jude hadn’t forgot what you were arguing about. you had insisted and told him repeatedly about the brunch date you had in morning with some other friends, to take out the trash out before the next day so it wouldn’t pile up, and to simply put away the clothes he had laying around.

jude knew it was to forget about the planned brunch date, but the other stuff he found slightly immature, even though he wouldn’t ever admit that to you. it obviously wasn’t okay to you, and the tone of voice he also spoke didn’t sit right with him. he was under a lot of pressure but if he had done what he was asked at first he wouldn’t be in the position.

jude got out quickly, opening the door for you as you stepped out and walked into the house. jude was about to pay the driver when he told him you had done so already. jude thanked him, rolling his eyes once he saw the front door open and you taking your boots off and heading upstairs.

“y/n? can we talk now?” he asked sighing and covering his face with his hand. “i don’t know? are you going to remember what i’ll have to say? or is it gonna be forgotten like our plans from today? the chores i laid for you? hmm, i vote yes! so no. i don’t want to talk to you,” you say sarcastic, crossing your arms and walked off, ignoring the plead from jude.

jude huffed in his place, becoming frustrated with your attitude and side remarks. it was clear you weren’t going to let it go. so now he was faced with also ignoring you cause he was mad or let you have you’d raided space and talk it out later.

jude being the inpatient and clingy boyfriend he was, gave it an hour before going into the living room where you scrolled on your phone. he couldn’t but you did, so you got up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a snack and sitting in the island. jude of course threw his hands in the air frustrated. you had to hold back the laugh paying attention to the get ready with me video on your phone.

later on when you went upstairs he followed up a few minutes after, seeing you snuggled up in your soft blanket reading a book with your glasses on. he approached you, but you then got up and walked off again on him, going downstairs and laid on the couch. jude clenched his jaw and laughed loudly. he had enough, all he wanted was to apologize and make it up to you.

he watched from afar, as your eyes kept shutting and opened again, many time before yawning and walking up the stairs again. jude had taken you silent treatment and showered, got ready for bed. not because he want to pay you back, but to finally talk with you. one thing you both agreed on was never going to sleep when either one was upset.

you had heard jude come up after setting the alarm system and ensuring everything was cleaned, locked, and lights turned off. you placed your book back on the shelf, your hair going into a messy updo as jude came to the door, bring to waters and your cup of tea. your heart warmed up, feeling bad for ignoring him the entire night when it was the only night together.

in all honesty you felt like he deserved it. it got to the point where he was clearly forgetting about you and what you said around him, feeling like a presence rather than his actual girlfriend. you didn’t want to seem like a bother but he was making you feel like one, and you hated it more than anything.

jude sat on the bathroom countertop, biting his nails as he watched you change out from your day clothes into your pjs. part of him felt like he won when you grabbed his shirt and put it on, the quickly remembered you were still mad at him. you looked down the entire time, a sad flint in your eyes as you started to take your makeup off.

he watched you rub and rub the cotton pad along your face, the water running as you used your nightly cleanser, the jiggle of the towel rack to pat your face dry. “i refuse to go to sleep knowing you’re still mad at me…” jude said making you stop brush your teeth and look up in the mirror. “okay then. all forgiven…” you shrugged, spitting out the excess hearing jude groan.

“please y/n! i’m trying to talk here. i’m being serious when i say i refuse to get on our bed, and you not even spanking a glance at me,” he said upset, getting up from the counter and over towering you. you said nothing and finished brushing your teeth.

you grabbed your last step of your skin care routine, looking up and breathing a bit deeper than before, controlling your emotions because you hated crying in front of people. “you really upset me today jude… for the first time ever i was starting to question if you ever paid attention to me or if i was being clingy…” you softly chucked.

jude immediately winced and got soft, going behind you and hugging your waist. the tight hold almost making you break down in tears before you could even speak. “i hate when you do that to me. it’s not the first time but it makes me feel like i’m not even there! i’m just a ghost or unwanted person in my own home!”

“i never ever, want to make you feel like that. especially in our home y/n! i can’t describe how incredibly sorry i am for making you feel that way. i had no idea and it’s absolutely horrible i know i know. i never wanted to make you feel uninvited or like you couldn’t say anything around me,” jude said behind your, his thumbs stroking the material of the shirt.

“i get you have a lot going on, believe me i do, but you have no right to embarrass me like that jude,” you say with eyes closed, jude nodding his head and then turning you around. “i know darling, i know. i can promise you right this second it won’t ever happen again! it was incredibly selfish and overall i hurt the person that means the world to me,” you felt his trembling hands and lips to your forehead.

“please don’t ever make me feel like that. like i have to overthink what i say, wear, think! nothing hurts more in the world then getting ignored by the person you love most,” you spoke softly, voice still laced with a tint of pain. “i understand baby. i promise i do pay attention and i do hear you,” jude spoke.

“did you really or is-”

“y/n please…”

“okay i’m sorry, i swear i’m done!” you giggle, jude bringing you impossibly closer to him. “i want you to talk to me rather than ignore me. i would rather you scream and yell angrily at how mad you are than have you say nothing to me for the whole evening,” jude said making you look up and nod, agreeing with him.

“i kid you not, i was ready to buy you the full bookstore and bring you a serenade to apologize,” he exaggerated making you laugh and look up at him once again. “not knowing how you’re feeling is the worst stress, especially cause of me… so please don’t make me go through that again…”

“don’t give me the reason too and i won’t,” you remind him, pointing your finger in his face to make things clear. jude saluted letting you know he understands and will play from the rules from now on. “okay now kiss me, because i really really really missed you today…”

“it would be my pleasure. i’m going to take you to bed first, show my beautiful girlfriend why she deserves every ounce of my attention…”

[trans-axolotl]

so im going into therapy (or social work, more broadly) as a profession (in school rn). i know that not everyone in anti psych would support that, understandably, and im not under an illusion that therapy isnt tied to the whole system and process. but i want to bring a liberationist, anti-racist, pro-mad, and abolitionist ideology to help who i can

do you have any suggested resources or reading recommendations or idk any insight on how to inform the way i go about juggling anti psychiatry in a profession that is considered going hand in hand with it?

Hi anon.

I think there can be ways that people working in the psych system can leverage power and resources in a way where they're acting in solidarity with psych survivors and mad people, but in reality, this very rarely happens, even among professionals who identify as radical or as having lived experience.

Fundamentally, the psychiatric system is one that perpetuates structural violence, and in smaller and larger ways, anyone who works within the system to legitimize it contributes to and is complicit in that violence. So I think that for anyone who is planning to work within the system, you need to be upfront with yourself that there is harm occurring and that isn't something you can just ignore or act like that's something you're separate from. Even if you're not working inpatient or facilitating forced drugging of someone, there's still a lot of ways that therapists can be complicit in psychiatric violence.

One of the most obvious ways is through mandatory reporting. I believe that in order to be an ethical therapist you must break the law--mandatory reporting is a dangerous way that mad people are surveilled by the state, and therapists must work to interrupt that and prevent it. There are a lot of therapists out there already talking about practical ways to avoid mandatory reporting and how to be upfront with clients about it, and I can link some of that at the end of this post. I won't say it's always easy, but we have an obligation to each other to do everything we can to stop psych incarceration from happening.

I think there's a lot of ways that even outpatient, therapists are asked to enable other forms of psychiatric violence. Even if in your practice, you're really focusing on liberation, respecting autonomy, etc, there are ways that other psych professionals might try to get you to help them perpetuate different forms of harm. And because of your degree and licensure, there's this power imbalance between you and your client that means you do have the power to enable these kinds of harms. The degree next to your name means that you will always be believed over your client and that is a lot of power to hold. If you're working with a client with an eating disorder and their dietitian gives an ultimatum that they have to be hospitalized or they're refusing to provide care, what do you do? If your client's psychiatrist is refusing to answer questions or let them switch to other types of medications, what do you do? If your client is involved in a court case and you're getting subpoenaed for their medical records, what do you do? If your MSW program requires you to do one of your internships in an inpatient program, how do you prevent that from happening? There are a lot more examples I can think of, but these are just a few things I wanted to highlight for ways that therapy is still entangled in the larger system.

Another thing that feels important to me is to make the distinction between being a "good therapist" and helping people, because I don't think those things are the same. I see a lot of "radical" therapists get fixated on this idea that they need figure out ways to make the psych system run smoother, to improve access, to overall make the psych system better, and that this is the only way to help people. It's really important to be able to separate those ideas. For me, psych abolition is a project of building up our capacity to care for each other while destroying the systems that currently enact violence on us, and reformist ideas about expanding psychiatric systems, increasing funding, and legitimize psychiatric authority gets in the way of actually transforming care. I think in order to help people, you need to commit to being a "bad therapist" in the eyes of a capitalist healthcare system.

One recommendation I have is to read Franco Basaglia's writing and learn about his approach of the democratic psychiatry movement. As a psychiatrist, he saw his role as a way to disrupt the system and deinstitutionalize. He has this quote where he talks about how they weren't focused on eliminating problems, but rather on how deinstitutionalization would create more chaos and new problems--and how that created so much possibility for transformation. I think he's proof that there are certainly ways that psych professionals can act as accomplices who actually are in solidarity with psych survivors, but it's rare.

Last point I have is that although you gain something from professional training and licensure, there's also a lot you lose. MSW programs often don't actually teach you the skills you want to learn about how to actually support people--there's a lot you're going to have to learn from continuing education credits. From my friends who have gotten their MSW, I've heard a lot of complaints about how surface level a lot of information is, and also about how a lot of the way that information is taught reinforces hierarchal ideas and doesn't respect patient autonomy. I'll also say that gaining licensure oftentimes creates barriers for radical action--I've seen so many therapists who then become so attached to holding onto and not losing that licensure that they weigh it above mad people's lives. I've heard so many therapists say "Oh I can't speak up against restraint because I'll lose my job/I can't ignore mandatory reporting because I'll lose my license/etc etc etc." And I think that can be a really damaging mindset that harms your potential to actually help people. There are several therapists I know who are in the process of intentional de-licensure because of this, but regardless if you pursue that path or not, this is a mindset you need to be on guard against.

All that being said, I think there is a need for more abolitionist therapists who are able to help support our communities, both in terms of creating that space for individual support and on a collective level. There are ways that you can leverage your access to resources and the way you're seen as legitimate in the system to help advocate for people, get them support, and interfere with psych violence. I have a therapist comrade who keeps working in inpatient psychiatry specifically so that they can continue to sneak in banned materials to the ward, prevent illegal restraints, be involved in court proceedings as an advocate, connect people to mad liberation resources, let psych patients use their phone, document psychiatric abuse with the plan to fairly soon release that information as a whistleblower, and more that I'm not going to talk about publicly. They still grapple with the fact that they are currently perpetuating harm at the same time, but to them, it's worth it to be able to sabotage things in that way. And I think that there are ways that you can take the information you learn in your program that is actually useful and find ways to bring that directly to your communities, and that there is good you can. I just think you have to be very intentional and aware of what it takes to actually do that, rather than just staying complacent with the label of being a "radical therapist" without doing anything to make that true.

For resources--here's my psych abolition drive with a lot of different zines, books, workbooks on different psych abolition topics. I really would recommend reading Psychiatry Inside Out by Franco Basaglia as an example of successful psychiatric resistance.

I would also suggest checking out Mutual Aid/Self Social therapy--the people who created this project are trusted comrades of mine, have both gotten their MSW or LMFT, and they have a lot of helpful insight into how to navigate things like avoiding mandatory reporting, de-licensure, etc. They have a discord server and also have regular online MAST meetings to train people on what MAST is and how to set up a MAST collective.

Genuinely wishing you the best of luck through school and appreciate that you're actively thinking about these things.

[writinandcrying]

How does the 2003 turtles react to crushes - part 1

Just a little thing cuz I miss writing, i miss tmnt and I haven’t got the time to do a full one shot or mashup in MONTHS 😔, I’m still on season 1-2 so if anything is a bit too ooc, I apologize! I love reading about crushes, first kisses, first loves, so this is for my puppy love stage lovers out there!! p.s: there's a poll for the next turtle by the end of the headcanon, make sure to vote your favorite! <3

(English is not my first language and I have dyslexia, I try to check everything before posting but sometimes grammar mistakes still happen, I apologize in advance if you find one!)

Leo

That’s some deeply repressed, effortless devotion energy right there, Leo is a pro at pretending that everything is fine, keeping it cool, but on the inside? so freaking nervous it’s not even funny

it's almost creepy how quiet he suddenly gets near you on your first visits, he acts in such a secluded but... odd way that everyone know something is up with him, but no one really knows what.

His younger brothers are all 🤨 over how he’s acting, at first, they noticed tiny shifts in his behaviors, they weren’t big enough to raise a red flag of such change, but when Leo shows how inpatient and careless he has become in training or meditating, then they KNOW something was really off . he has been careless for the silliest things as well, breaking the toaster more than once a week, forgetting to nag them about the open toothpaste, stuff he usually wouldn't miss it, but suddenly he doesn't mind it anymore.

None of them have the guts to ask him (Raph and Mikey might tease here and there, but you know, it’s Raph and Mikey) Don might find himself studying his brother from time to time, interested to why his older brother is being way more introspective than before, he wonders if maybe he’s going through a natural turtle process of some sort April is the only one who truly leaves him be, but as your visits become more frequent, it all clicks when you randomly stop by to deliver some groceries by Master Splinter request.

The pure lovesick look he glances at you when you first enter... you caught him completely off guard as he was leaving the dojo with Master Splinter, his dementor shifted back rapidly to stoic, but April noticed it, her eyes widened slightly as it all made sense, softening right after. Leo helps you with the groceries with agility, as Master Splinter excuses himself after he thanks you, he even dares to make small talk after an extremely long and awkward moment of silence (which he researched his possible lines in his head several times, made up several scenarios in which topic it could lead into, I might add) We have seen how Leo reacts to Usagi in the series (he has a fat crush on each other and I’m right) so you know even if he is indeed nervous, Leo is so dedicated to your well-being, attentive to your needs and inputs to missions or even movie debates, it’s heartwarming to see how inclusive he can be of you. He notices everything – Not in an obvious way, or a loud way, but in a way that means you’ll never have to ask him twice about something important to you. You mention offhand that you like a certain type of tea? He remembers. You’re shivering? He’s already handing you his jacket before you can say a word. The exact moment you get tired even before you admit it.

One day at training after sparring, you absentmindedly rubbed your wrist. You didn’t say anything, didn’t complain at the pain you might have felt, but later that night, you find a perfectly wrapped bandage roll left on top of your bag. No note. No explanation. You glance at Leo, and he’s just calmly cleaning his takana, pretending like he has no idea what you’re looking at. He’s not the type to shower you with words, but his actions speak volumes. He makes sure you always walk on the safe path while coming back from a mission or scorting you back home, he picks whatever condiment out of your food because he remembers you don’t like them. He’ll “coincidentally” be around when you need help, even if he acts like it’s no big deal. He's gentle, kind, and a true gentleman, he makes sure his presence is there. He effortlessly puts so much thought into you, it’s just how his mind works.

He disliked how nervous he first got around you, but after a while, he didn’t even realize how he had grown used to thinking about you. He grabs an extra bottle of water without thinking because you might be thirsty later. His brothers joke that he’s got favorites, and he just denies it, but deep down? Yeah. It’s you. Eventually, he has to talk to someone, and he chooses to confide in April about… well, everything? regarding feelings, about how to be sure, what does it feel like to love someone and how should he react to it? wait, did he say love? How can he stop his hands from getting so sweaty? this is ridiculous, should he feel anxious and at ease around you all at the same time? From time to time, he tells himself he doesn’t like you like that, that he’s just looking out for you because you’re part of the team, part of the family. that's just him being a leader, That’s all it is.

his train of thought is broken as he hears Mikey chuckle “Dude, you’ve got it bad.”

Leo stiffens, cleaning his throat as he turns he page of his book a bit too slow “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you SO do.” Mikey grins. “The ‘eyes-follow-them-every-time-they-leave-the-room’ thing? The ‘silent-knight-hovering’ thing? classic move, real smooth.”

Leo exhales through his nose, forcing himself to focus on back his book. It’s not like that. It can’t be. "Maybe you should tell them, who knows, they might be looking back right at ya" Mikey winks at him, biting on this apple as he sits on the couch, turning on the tv. Maybe he was looking at you too long, maybe he wasn't as subtle as he thought he was, or his brothers just, unfortunately, know him too well and finally caught up. He prided himself and his control, his calm exterior, carefully managed. but maybe you slip through the cracks. He can't help but to continue notice how eyes shine brighter when you smile, remembering every little thing about you, doing things that only you get to see. Deep down, he knows. He just doesn’t know what to do with it yet.

[dansemacabre]

are you stuck trying to decode the book of bill but you don’t want the keys handed to you? i was in your shoes literally three days ago! i failed and looked up codes on reddit (because a good grade in book of bill is a normal thing to want and a possible thing to get) but now you don’t have to!! here are some BOOK OF BILL CODEBREAKING HINTS designed to kindly shove you in the right direction!

my credentials are: one summer cryptography class i took in high school, autism, weirdly good pattern recognition (probably because of the autism), and a desperate need to make things make sense. sorry in advance if any of this seems patronizing. hints below the page break!!

general tips:

- A and I will become your bestest friends. like 99 times out of 100 any single letter is a or i. try those out first

- the apostrophe will also become your bestest friend- especially x’x, which will almost always be i’m (except there’s one place in the book where it is not. don’t make my mistakes.)

- themysteryofgravityfalls.com is SO so helpful. for non-symbolic ciphers u can lowkey put in codes and button mash caesar and atbash. godsend. devilsend? idk someone sent it and it’s wonderful

- call every phone number, visit every website. they bought those domains for a reason! i think!

- any list of numbers 1-26 is a1z26. like that’s simply a truth

cipher specific hints now !!!

RUNES (characters taken from norse runes)

- there is a key for this one in the book! maybe u spotted it right away but i did not lol, so look for an instance of 26 rune-y characters!

- the rune code on the inside cover is a graffiti joke- translates to a common thing people write on walls or carve into books made out of brain matter ig

THERAPESE (found in the last few pages during bills court-ordered therapy)

- bill’s picture is labeled in this section, so those characters translate directly to “bill cipher” ! once you have those, you can apply them to other instances of the code and go from there

- the rest of the names of the… things around him on the inpatients page are puns, titles, and/or weird words. they might look wrong until you have Every Character- trust ur key! use the rest of the instances of this code to find the missing letters first, make sense of it and laugh at the clever little joke later

BROSCODE (only two instances, found in journal 3 lost pages)

- the name is a hint by itself- this is stanley and stanford related! both stans use it once somewhere in the book!

NEWBILL (the most common symbolic cipher in the book)

- if you have journal three, the characters are VERY similar to a code there- not the same though, so don’t try and use that key. but like journal three, this code will (almost) always be bill speaking.

- ok lowkey i think the best way to explain this is just to give you one answer. i cracked this by randomly guessing that the small writing by the galaxy drawing on the journal three page “a voice form the past” translates to “forget the past”. go from there my loves

- that being said. everything else from journal three uses the same characters, but a different code. haven’t cracked it yet. looking for advice tee bee haych. i’ll edit this once i find it out

- also: dipper uses this code in his section. that’s pretty helpful to get most of the rest of the characters!

now some page specific hints!:

silly straw page. Oh god

- damn that themysteryofgravityfallsdotcom sure is helpful! Anyway,

- the numbers code is Weird. but the number don’t equal letters. notice the spaces between number groups- pair the groups, try and add a dash somewhere within the first group and a colon somewhere within the second group. you’ll have to use your resources a little

- if that made zero sense: “uhvrxufhv” phdqv brxu idyrulwh ghhsob ohjdo wy vkrz ylhzlqj zhevlwh. ru brxu kxox dffrxqw

- sorry for the vagueness but i really don’t want to spoil this one- i got it spoiled but i think figuring it out on your own would be really rewarding and worth your Time

messages on your tv

- there are strange boxes on the bottom of the page. gonna be so honest don’t know how they mean anything at all to anyone but allegedly it’s a code! i’ll look into it. idk man

okay. i think that’s all i’ve got? please comment if u have questions for me or other folks on here or suggestions on how to sound less like a fucking nerd talking abt this shit. idk i love that people are set on cracking this book asap but i hope this helps ppl who prefer The Thrill Of The Chase and also like to feel smart and important and so very talented

[slamdunkhcs]

Considering the fact they’re basketball players who have to condition (even on the off-season), I thought this would be fun to think about :). And also i go to the gym and i see boys like them all the time there

slam dunk boys at the gym

rukawa

• One thing about Rukawa, he is going to the gym ALONE. Like it’ll literally be him, his airpods, a towel, and a fat waterbottle against the world. I don’t think he’d hate working out with someone, but he’d prefer to workout alone since he can stay focused and go at his own pace.

• He’d have both his AirPods in at full volume and go CRAZY on the machines/weightlifting bars. I think for his stamina, he would use the Stairmaster at full speed and go on it for as long as he could.

• I’d say that he does workouts for all of his body, but his favorite workouts would be arm ones, just because he’ll be able to put more power into his basketball shots.

• I don’t think he’d be approached by anyone at the gym since he’s always super focused on his workout and looks VERY intimidating, but if you went up to him and asked him for help, he’d do it.

• BUTTTT If he was in a bad mood that day, he might just put his AirPod right back in and ignore you 😂. However, after he cools off, he’d feel kinda bad. And then sigh and go up to you like “What did you need help with?”

• HE’D DEF BE ADMIRED BY ALL THE GYM BADDIES!!!!!

ryota

• Ok I feel like his level of productivity would depend on who he’s at the gym with. If he’s with Mitsui, those two are gonna try and compete with who could lift heavier weights 😂. But if he’s with Sakuragi, aint NOTHING getting done.

• He will take a ton of gym photos and mirror selfies and post them like “Hitting the gym today ✅” on Insta/Snap. AND HE’LL SEND THEM ALL TO AYAKO 😂😂😂. His gym fits will be coordinated asf too!!! He will go over there dripped out!!!

• I think if he goes alone he’d be really focused. He wouldn’t look intimidating or anything but he’d keep to himself and put on some music (def rnb like bryson tiller or brent faiyaz) and do his workouts. If the gym had a track area, he’d walk around and jus think about life and whatever happened throughout his day.

• Now if Ayako tagged along with him to the gym one day… HES GONNA ACT A FOOL. Like he will literally just stand by her the entire time as if he’s her mf bodyguard. And if a man even TRIED to talk to her, he would instantly shoo him away 💀

sakuragi

• His productivity would also depend on who hes with 😂

• If he’s with his lil gang… they getting into BIG trouble. Those idiots would fool around and try and swing around the weightlifting bar and hit eachother with it. They’d cause a big commotion and then get escorted out the gym by mf security.

• I think he’d go alone alot lowkey… especially after rehabilitation, he’d go there to do light workouts to prepare himself for basketball practice.

• I f he doesn’t know how to properly use a machine, this mf is NOT ASKING NOBODYYY for help 💀. Like he will stand there and stubbornly try messing with it until either he figures it out, or one of the gym’s staff sees him and offers him help

• I feel like he’d be very popular with the elderly people at the gym. Like in the mens’ locker room, the old men would look at him and be like “Back in my day, I was a lot like you, son,” and be hyping him up on his muscles and big build. AND HE’D ACT ALL OVERCONFIDENT but he’d lowkey be smiling about it for the rest of the day. He’d smile and make a peace sign whenever he sees one of the elderly regulars there. And if they asked him for help, he’d help!!!!! He’d have a whole community of uncles and aunties at the gym

• In terms of people around his age tho.. it’s a different story. If someone is using a machine or area he’s trying to use, he’s gonna be SOOO inpatient. Especially if whoever is on it isn’t using it. If it’s a girl, he’d ask politely, but if it’s a guy, he’ll mean mug tf outta them, until they get intimidated and walk away 😭

• If he and Ryota are at the gym together, those two will take SO many pictures. Half of the time they’d jus be talking and talking, and wouldn’t get ANYTHING accomplished

mitsui

• Ok, one thing about Mitsui, he is NOT going to the gym alone. Like he will hit the whole mf team up and ask them to go with him. Even Akagi.

• I think he’d go frequently though, especially in order to build up his stamina. Rukawa would show him the Stairmaster machine and he’d go CRAZY on there. Like by the end, it’ll say he walked up 200 flights of stairs 😂

• He’d lowkey have so many gym crushes. But he wouldn’t approach ANY of them 😂😂😂. He will just admire, sigh, and then go on with his workout. I think some of the gym baddies would think he’s cute but they wouldn’t approach him

• The reason why he’d be scared of being alone at the gym is because it’d be jus him and his thoughts. AND FOR MITSUI, THATS SCARY ASL. However… I think going to the gym alone from time to time would end up being a way for him to destress and reflect.

PS: IMMA DO A PART TWO WITH AKAGI, SENDOH, SAWAKITA, and whoever else yall want