#I just couldn't write it concisely :')

[the-pessimist-and-his-cat]

Hi! I wanted to ask you about something. We all know what Way did which left Babe heartbroken.. and it was horrible, but when Babe saw Way dying (yeah another “I’m alive bit*ch agenda”) he forgave him. But my question is, do you think that Babe forgave him because Way is his friend and deep down he believes that Way can be good person or he did that because he didn’t want to let him die? What if in first season Way would be alive, would it change anything? I mean would Babe behave differently or regret forgiving Way? I hope you know what I mean.. after knowing that Way is alive (as it seems to be) I’m curious what’s gonna be everyone’s reaction

Hello hello!

Funny enough, I read your ask before taking a shower, so I had ample time to think about it like any Maladaptive daydreamer.... debating and making speeches with myself in the shower :)

Be prepared for a loooong ass answer!

Let's get it out of the way (no pun intended) by clarifying one thing:

What Way did was horrible and disgusting. If he had stopped before Charlie's interference, then I would have forgiven him and be like "well, he at least snapped out of it", but he didn't, which meant if Charlie hadn't been there, he would have raped Babe and his justification for such an act was "I get you pregnant, daddy will be happy and leave us be" and I, as an audiance, be like "uhhh... then after the baby is born... then what? You just gonna give your child to Tony to sell it off or raise him like he did with ya'll???? Is that your master plan???" Soooo yeah. He deserves to receive such cold shoulders and insults from Babe and X hunter crew.

Now as for Babe....

It's both the reasons that you mentioned.

He didn't exactly forgive him fully; otherwise, we didn’t have that nightmare scene in the S2 trailer. It shows that Babe still has lingering fears and doubts and feeling betrayed.

I mean, having a very close friend where you considered a family that you didn't have (like Babe's father) or didn't get (like Tony). A brother that you shared ups and downs of your life with, the cheap dinners, the failed novice car racings, the heart-to-heart conversations... and to see that very dear person in your life not only lied to you, not only tried to rape you but mind controlled you into thinking that you are undeserving of having a real love, that everybody is out to get you, that you will be forever alone with just you and him against the cruel twisted world FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS..... gurl.. I.... the more I think about it... the more terrifying and heartbreaking it gets.

But the thing is... as a result of Way's manipulations and Babe's sad past, he's STARVING.

He wants to trust, he wants to love.

He hates to be manipulated and lied to. He hates betrayal....

And yet, he easily forgave Charlie when he hid his connection to Tony and Jeff. He easily forgave him when Charlie told him that he took his powers (see the parallels between Charlie touching Babe's skin to use his absorption powers and Way also doing the same with his mind control powers?) To be honest, that scene of Babe forgiving Charlie was a whiplash that I couldn't digest quick enough. (Sure, it could be lazy writing, but it also aligns with Babe's personality, which him being so starved for affection that he forgives with just a little push.)

Same thing with Charlie faking his death. Babe was just so glad that he didn't even care and forgave him!

Same thing with Babe's father! He didn't fully forgave him, but he hugged him because he was just so glad to have his dad back. The same dad who he was content to have a simple cold meal with because he at least had a family who gave him affection and wasn't alone.

Honestly, Babe is so tragic and vulnerable and beautiful that if he was real, I would have protected him to the death, even from Charlie (that boy did do some shady stuff and treated Babe like a child that couldn't be trusted with his secrets and plans so Charlie...dude... Babe gave you his heart fully... don't fuck it up in season two or else... 🗡 🙂)

As I said, it could be both of your reasons.

Having such a very close friend for 10 years and doing such horrible things to you won’t erase the loving and precious memories that are engraved in your heart and mind and Babe in that moment, when he thought that he lost Way, he forgave him (not fully) so that Way could see this and fight for survival, so that Babe doesn't loss the one brother, one family that he held above all. He even lied to him that he loved him after Way (seemingly) died so that maybe, just maybe, he opens his eyes.

He already thinks Way could go back to the same person he knew, a good loving being who listens to his rants and was with him through thick and thin and I truly believe if Way had been alive by the end of the finale, he still would have continued to forgive him. Sure, their relationship won't be the same anymore. There will never be unguarded smiles, late night cheap dinners, or heart-to-heart small talks, but they would meet (accidentally or through shared acquaintances) and acknowledge each other's presence with a polite nod (maybe even one or two unintentional banter between them) but that's about it.

As of now, if he finds out that Way is alive in S2.... it really really depends on what Way's agenda is and what actions Way takes.

THIS... this is what gonna make their relationship back to what it was (or something as close to it) or damage it beyond repair.

Sorry and thanks for reading this long ass answer :)

P.s. Way is as interesting as Babe because he has sooooo much layers of fucked up angst that's insane!

[shiegra]

TEOM adaptation thoughts

I do also think that it’s fascinating that Till the End of the Moon is almost in a different subgenre, but despite the layers of changes they made I think the vast majority of them show either hard-pressed necessity or a genuine appreciation for and understanding of the strengths of the original text, that tries to keep those strengths incorporated in every change done for the new medium.

And I just think that’s dang cool to be honest.

Obviously it’s not perfect! But all the ways they find to take story elements they had to cut for time and weave them back into the changed story so that it’s economical but still hits the emotional beat the original carried is like. I wanna take notes lol. I feel like in noticing these I’m learning things to take back to writing first and second drafts.

FOR EXAMPLE, in the dream there’s a SECOND Big Misunderstanding where after the split and the one-sided reconciliation while he heals, Sang Jiu teams up with a random demon (because more people came into the dream in the book) and Ming Ye thinks she ~has someone else because he’s misled and it’s just d r a g g e d ON. In the show? They don’t overcomplicate it and they don’t add in unnecessary one dimensional characters with little relevance - their decision to combine two bland side characters into Scholar Pang was similarly FANTASTIC - they simply wrap that misunderstanding into the original awkward arranged marriage deception.

They hit the same story beat while eliminating story bloat and actually adding in extra nuance - because the arranged marriage in the show was told in a more linear fashion and he opened with ‘we can separate if you find someone you actually love and want to marry, I understand neither of us wanted this.’

This being a pre-existing thought lends more credence to the idea that he would be fooled and more melancholy to the idea that now he’s in too deep but doesn’t want to renege on his promise to her at the start.

Somewhere in my head is like ‘make mental note: remember this tactic for attempted use in your own second drafts’ lol. Which is something I should have already known but sometimes having a concrete example to fall back on helps the brain process IMO.

[cherrylovelycherry]

Pls make me another poly with ratio and aven. Make another and my life is YOURS

I'm hungry for angst

Girl don't judge me, I'm using translator for this JDNAIJDHD

.note. HEYY, omg i gotcha anon!! tbh, I loved writing the poly angst. hope you like it, I think I overdid it with the words oopsie ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!

i don't know if you speak spanish but, shadow freddy vuelta al ruedo

i will post part 2 tomorrow mueheh

𓂅new order. "tarte aux fraises and a pain au chocolat."

Contracts and preferences pt.1 pt.2

pairing. Aventurine x gn!reader x Dr ratio (poly) cw/genre. angst, argument, some slow burn again, slight being left out, some nsfw in pt.2, negligent attitudes synopsis. you went from being “decoration” and “ partner” to “ servant” and “assistant”. full menu

They knew you were there, didn't they?

You were sure you did, you knew, you knew they would come to take you in their arms and fill you with affection. 

Or at least that's what you longed for. 

You were sitting at the dining table, trying to plan schedules and meetings for each of them. 

Since, after all, you were both their assistant. 

To put the situation in context, you concise them both separately, not knowing that they were a couple before. 

You worked at the ipc, for Aventurine, while at the same time, you also worked for the Intelligentsia Guild, specifically being the assistant of Ratio. 

The connections you made at the Guild helped you to be at the IPC too. 

You gave them a sideways look, again, it would be the fifth time you do it in almost ten minutes. 

You never complain about your job, you always think that if it weren't for that, you wouldn't have been able to meet the two men you're dating now. 

But it felt unfair sometimes. 

You were at the table, with thousands of documents and making calls, while they were on the couch, curled up and even getting a little more affectionate. 

Of course you were happy for them, you loved them both and they loved you too, their affection was mutual, but sometimes... it was really something.

For example, Ratio, with no shame, began to cover Aventurine's neck and jaw with a few small kisses, while the other laughed discreetly and also played with his hair in a discreet way. 

You let out an audible sigh.

Aaand, nothing.

The two were already on the sofa, snuggled up against each other, watching some movie, but not even the slightest bit watching it. 

You knew it, they were just looking for an excuse to get closer to each other, and they were taking every opportunity they could. 

They whispered sweet words to each other, caressed each other's backs, made small, playful comments that caused a few giggles, and their eyes didn't leave each other's. 

You had to admit, the atmosphere they created was quite... Intimate.

You let out a small sigh again, in a somewhat exaggerated way, the sound getting their attention almost immediately. 

They both knew it. 

But they decided to play dumb, just this once. 

"Tired?" Asked Aventurine first. 

"Overworked?" Ratio followed, as he tried to get up to get to you.

You rolled your eyes, but not out of irritation, but more because this was a fairly common occurrence. 

"Yeah," you replied, "and a little tired of being all alone here." 

Ratio, walking over to you and resting a gentle hand on your shoulder while he stood behind you. 

"We'll give you some attention," he said.

"Will you?" You asked, arching an eyebrow as you continued to go through the documents in front of you.

Aventurine stood up, making his way to the two of you, resting his chin on your shoulder and looking at the papers you were reading. 

"We'll give you all you want," he whispered right next to your ear. 

"Well..." you replied with feigned indifference, but your words were full of expectation, "prove it."

The two of them looked at each other out of the corner of their eyes, before Ratio began to place light kisses down your neck.

You couldn't help but shiver, trying to control yourself. 

At your reaction, Ratio chuckled against your skin, and, just to tease you, gave your sensitive skin a little bite, causing your shoulders to arch involuntarily. 

A low, suppressed sound escaped your lips. 

Meanwhile, Aventurine's hands traveled to one of your shoulders, gently massaging them.

"You've been working too much," he whispered in your other ear, "haven't you?"

"Yeah..." you admitted in a low whisper, as the two continued to pamper you. 

"We should take care of you," said Ratio, continuing to give you little kisses and bites.

"We should," agreed Aventurine, leaving a brief kiss on your head.

Their ministrations continued for a while, their hands and mouths roaming gently over your shoulders, neck, and back.

The feeling was so good, you couldn't help but moan softly.

By now, you had both men behind you and surrounding you completely, their touches and affections slowly but surely getting heavier and more intense.

You felt Aventurine's hands move to your hips, gently pulling you closer against his body as Ratio continued to kiss your neck.

It was a bit embarrassing to admit it, but you were really enjoying all that attention. 

...

Okay, maybe you anticipated a bit. 

The 'we should take care of you', stayed in 'we should'. Literally. 

Heavyweights and affectionate touches were maintained, even the three of you moved to the couch, for comfort. 

The raised caresses calmed down after a while, letting you put your head on Aventurine's legs, while Ratio did gentle massages on your body. 

At least that 10 minutes ago, since you had your eyes closed, but you started to feel a hard thing behind your head. 

And by the time you noticed, they were both kissing, with the same intensity and desire. 

"Hey, guys," you spoke up, a bit annoyed, but they didn't seem to notice.

Instead, they were even getting more intense, as the small sounds of them echoed quietly in the room.

"Guys," you called out again, in a slightly louder voice.

A low moan escaped Aventurine's lips, while Ratio's hands ran over his hair.

And far apart from that, you felt the Aventurine member accidentally rubbing against your head every time they moved to eat their mouths.

"Please," you said, slightly frustrated, "you guys!" At the same time, you also got up from Aven's legs, sitting in the space between them. 

They finally broke apart, a bit breathless, their lips red and glistening with saliva. 

They both looked at you, slightly surprised that you'd interrupted them.

"What's wrong...?" Ratio finally asked, still a little out of breath.

"Are you alright?" Aventurine added, trying to recompose himself.

You huffed softly, feeling a bit disappointed. 

"Uhm, if you two are in _the_ mood, you can go to the room," you said calmly. 

The two of them looked at each other for a few seconds, a silent conversation happening between them.

"Are you sure...?" Aventurine asked, turning his gaze back to you.

"You don't mind?" Ratio added, studying your expression.

You tried to appear calm and understanding, but deep down, you were still a bit frustrated. The sight of the two of them all hot and bothered without you was really... a bit unfair.

"No, it's okay," you said, trying to remain calm. "You two can go ahead." 

They studied you a bit more, trying to discern if you were being honest or not. 

But you smiled at them, trying to reassure them that you were fine with it. 

They both shared another look, before Ratio got up from the couch and held out his hand to Aventurine.

Aventurine grabbed Ratio's hand, standing up in one smooth movement. 

They were still looking at you, obviously still reluctant to leave you alone.

"Are you sure?" Ratio asked again, as Aventurine stayed silent.

You nodded, trying to maintain a reassuring smile. "Yes, I'm sure," you replied. "I'll just finish up some more work, and I'll join you guys later."

"Mhm, okay, love," Aven replied, as he nodded, with a slight smile. 

The two men walked past you, heading towards the bedroom door, Ratio's hand still intertwined with Aventurine's. 

You stayed rooted to the spot.

You knew they had needs, and you had nothing against them satisfying them together. 

But it's just... you couldn't shake off the strange feeling in your chest.

Ratio and Aventurine went to the bedroom, closing the door. 

You took a deep breath, feeling a bit frustrated. 

Of course, you were happy for them, their relationship was strong and had a deep connection, but... it didn't stop you from feeling slightly 'left out'.

You leaned fully back on the couch, letting out a low sigh.

'Nah, maybe I'm exaggerating', You thought as you got off the couch, to go back to the table. 

You made your way back to the table, sorting out the documents. 

As you organized everything, you couldn't help but overhear small noises coming from the bedroom. 

Even though the door was closed, the sounds of Ratio and Aventurine, clearly enjoying themselves, were still faintly audible. 

You tried to ignore it, to focus on your work, but it was hard. Each time you heard a small sound, a small whine, it sent a little shiver throughout your body.

The more you tried to concentrate, the more the sounds seemed to get louder and more intense.

You tried to shake off the thoughts running through your mind and concentrate on your work, but as time passed, you found it more and more difficult to ignore the sounds coming from the bedroom.

Moans, whispers, muttered words, and the sound of the bed creating through the room.

You had no right to be jealous, you had told them to go for it, you had encouraged them. 

And so, you focused only on paperwork and arranging schedules. 

You dropped a yawn while you stopped typing on the laptop. 

You stretched a little while getting up from the chair. 

You didn't realize when the erotic sounds coming from the room had been ceased. 

When you finally noticed the absence of sounds, a small pang of confusion and sadness hit you in the chest.

Of course, you told them to go ahead, and maybe they were already... done, but still, you felt a little pang of disappointment.

But it was fine, since you didn't really think about the room for a while to join, as you told them. 

You were finishing stretching when the bedroom door opened, a slightly disheveled Ratio peeking his head out of the room.

You looked at him, a raised eyebrow.

"Yes?" You asked, trying to maintain a calm demeanor.

Ratio looked at you for a few seconds, his breath still a bit heavy. 

"Can you come here for a second...?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse from... the situation in the room.

You tried to remain unfazed, even though the request was an unexpected one.

"Sure," you said with nonchalance in your voice.

You made your way to the bedroom, Ratio moving aside to let you enter. 

As you stepped in, you were met with Aventurine, sitting on the edge of the bed, hair tousled and a few love bites on his neck and shoulders.

The sight of Aventurine in that state sent another pang to your chest, but you tried to hide it. 

He looked at you, a slight tiredness in his eyes, as a small smile appeared on his lips.

"You finished your work?" He asked, his voice also slightly hoarse.

"Almost..." you replied, avoiding looking at the small hickeys on his skin for too long.

"You two were quick," you commented half-jokingly, trying to maintain the same casual tone from before.

Ratio chuckled softly, leaning on the doorframe as he watched the interaction.

"It wasn't really that quick," he said with a smirk.

Aventurine shook his head, giving Ratio a side look before turning his attention back to you.

"We're just... impatient," he said, with a slight hint of teasing in his voice. 

You grimaced, while you laughed somewhat uncomfortable. 

You tried to shake off the uncomfortable feeling, but the sight of them both, disheveled and still somewhat out of breath, wasn't helping.

"Right," you said, still trying to keep up the act.

There was a small moment of silence in the room, Ratio's gaze darting between you and Aventurine, as if he was waiting to see how the situation would unfold.

"Uhm, do you need anything?" You asked, seeing that they weren't going to say anything. 

Besides, you didn't really know why you were called into the room. 

"Oh, yes," Ratio said. 

"Can you take out clean sheets? I'm going to bring water to Aven," he added, as he left the room. 

 "Okay," you replied simply, watching Ratio disappear into the hallway.

You turned your gaze to Aventurine.

He was still sitting on the edge of the bed, looking a bit worn out and sated.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of something in your chest, as you couldn't help but steal a glance at the marks on his neck and shoulders. 

You let out a silent sigh before heading to some drawers next to the bed. 

'It's okay, It'll be your turn' you thought as you focused on pulling out a set of clean sheets. 

  You were in a relationship with the two, and you knew that they had... desires, and needed that physical intimacy.

You tried to understand their need, and you also tried to not feel 'bad' about being left out.

But at the same time, you couldn't help but wonder if your presence was really necessary.

Your thoughts were interrupted, you felt Aventurine approaching you from behind, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you against his chest.

He placed his chin on your shoulder, pressing his body against yours.

"You're being quiet..." he murmured near your ear.

You felt the warmth of his body and the soft touch of his arms around you, making you momentarily forget all the thoughts and doubts that were swirling around in your mind.

You leaned gently against him, taking a deep breath.

"Just thinking..." you replied, your voice a little tense. 

You finished taking out the sheets, and you stand still, waiting for it to come loose, which didn't happen, so you moved a little. "uhm, can you...?" 

Your voice is tense and uncomfortable. 

Aventurine noticed the change in your tone, and he loosened his grip on you, stepping back slightly.

He gently turned you around to face him, his hands resting on your hips, a touch of worry in his eyes.

"Are you okay...?" He asked, "His voice low and gentle."

You averted your gaze slightly, feeling a mixture of emotions that you couldn't quite make sense of.

"Yup," It was the only thing you answered, and then you went to bed and started removing the dirty sheets. 

Aventurine watched you silently, his gaze fixated on your body.

He could feel the tension in your movements and the subtle stiffness in your voice. He knew that something was bothering you, but he wasn't entirely sure what it was. 

He decided to give you some space, allowing you to remove the sheets, but he still stood beside you, his eyes never leaving you.

After a few moments, Ratio came back into the room, a glass of water in his hand.

He handed it to Aventurine, who took it gratefully and took a few sips before setting it on the bedside table.

There was a strange atmosphere in the room, as if something were left hanging in the air. 

You felt like they were looking at you, as you finished putting the clean sheets on the bed. 

It was hard to ignore their stares, and the fact that you were alone with them in the room made the tension even more palpable. 

You finished putting on the sheets and took a subtle deep breath. 

You could practically feel the weight of their gazes on your back, even though you knew that both of them were trying to hide their concern and curiosity. 

"There..." you muttered, finally turning around to face them.

Ratio was leaning against the wall nearby, his arms crossed, his expression a mixture of concern and confusion.

Aventurine was still standing beside you, his gaze fixed on you, as if studying your every move.

For a few seconds, there was just a heavy silence, as the two of them looked at you waiting for you to say something.

But what should you say? You felt a mixture of contradictory emotions.

"You can rest now," you said, calmly speaking. 

Your voice sounded calm, but on the inside, you were still feeling a mixture of unease and disappointment.

Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a glance, clearly understanding your cue that the conversation was over. 

Aventurine didn't make a move, still watching you.

Ratio, sensing the tension in the room, walked over to Aventurine's side, gently pushing him towards the bed.

"Come on," Ratio murmured, his tone soft but firm. "You should rest."

Aventurine didn't object, allowing Ratio to gently guide him onto the bed.

He sank back against the pillows, looking at you with a mix of tiredness and worry. Ratio sat down beside him, also looking at you.

"Are you...?" Ratio started to ask, but you interrupted him.

"I'm fine," you said, still doing your best to appear casual, "I just need to... go to the bathroom."

You used the excuse of needing to use the bathroom to get away for a few minutes.

Ratio and Aventurine looked at you for a moment, their gazes following you as you left the room.

As soon as you closed the door to the bathroom behind you, you let out a soft sigh, bracing your hands on the sink.

You glanced at yourself in the mirror.

Your expression was a mixture of exhaustion and frustration.

You closed your eyes for a moment, trying to organize your thoughts. You knew that what you were feeling was silly, but at the same time, you couldn't help it.

Your relationship with Ratio and Aventurine was unconventional, you knew that they had needs and desires, and they had each other to satisfy those needs. 

But what about you...?

It was a thought that had crossed your mind several times before.

You tried to convince yourself that they cared about you, that they loved you.

But at times like this, when they were alone in their intimate moments, you couldn't help but feel... left out.

You knew that they weren't trying to exclude you, that they weren't being malicious, but it still hurt. 

You sighed, patting yourself on the cheeks, before leaving the bathroom and returning to the room. 

Ratio and Aventurine were still on the bed, now settled under the covers.

Aventurine's eyes were partly closed, as the exhaustion from the previous activities was starting to take its toll.

Ratio, however, was still slightly tense, his eyes locking on you as soon as you entered the room.

You walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge next to Ratio.

For a moment, no one spoke. The only sounds in the room were the soft breathing of Aventurine and the silence that seemed to weigh upon all of you.

Ratio shifted slightly, moving closer to you, his hand gently moving to your thigh.

Ratio's touch was gentle and comforting, but at the same time, you couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt.

You didn't want to ruin the moment. You didn't want to make them feel bad for seeking their comfort in each other's embrace.

You looked at Aventurine, who seemed to be moments from falling asleep.

His hair was messy, and the skin on his neck was still showing some red marks. 

Although you felt an uncomfortable heaviness in your chest, with your fingers, you accommodated the hair that covered Aven's face. 

Aventurine's face relaxed under your touch, his breathing still calm and steady.

Ratio's grip on your thigh tightened a little, and you could feel his gaze fixated on you.

"You know..." Ratio began, his voice low. "We... We didn't mean to make you feel left out."

You paused for a few seconds, unsure of what to say.

"Mhm, i know" you whispered, still running your fingers through Aventurine's hair.

"I'm tired."

The word hung in the air, and Ratio sighed softly.

"Come here," he said, gently pulling you down to lie next to him.

You complied, feeling Ratio's strong arms encircling your waist, pulling you against his chest.

The feeling of Ratio's body against yours was comforting, but there was still a nagging feeling at the back of your mind.

You snuggled into Ratio's embrace, feeling his warmth and the steady beat of his heart.

"We love you," Ratio murmured, his voice barely a whisper.

You closed your eyes in response, feeling a mixture of both comfort and unease.

You wanted to believe Ratio's words.

But at the same time, you couldn't help but doubt. 

 The morning sunlight streamed in through the cracks of the curtains, gently illuminating the bedroom.

The peaceful silence in the room was broken by a soft, groggy groan.

"Hmm, what time is it...?" Aventurine mumbled half-sleep, shifting slightly in the bed.

You had gotten up before them, starting to prepare their breakfasts, and ending with the day's schedule for each. 

Ratio stirred beside him, slowly waking up as well, his messy hair sticking every which way.

Aventurine groaned again, finally opening his eyes, blinking a few times as he adjusted to the morning light.

He sat up in bed, rubbing his face with his hands, trying to shake off the lingering drowsiness.

"Ugh... I feel like I slept for days," he said with a yawn, his voice still gravelly with sleep.

He looked around the room, noticing that you were not in bed.

"Where's..." Aventurine began, his eyes scanning the room, noticing that it was just the two of them.

Ratio sat up as well, groaning as he stretched his arms above his head, the muscles in his back tensing with the movement.

He glanced over at Aventurine, following his gaze.

"They're probably in the kitchen," Ratio said, voice sleepy and still slightly rough from sleep.

"I think we slept pretty late." he commented again, glancing at the clock on the bedside table.

Aventurine followed Ratio's gaze, noticing the time.

"Damn... it's almost noon," he muttered, climbing out of the bed and stretching. 

"I guess we're in for a lazy day."

Ratio chuckled softly, still sitting on the bed, the covers half-covering his bare chest.

"I guess so," he agreed, his eyes flickering over Aventurine's disheveled form.

Aventurine paused, noticing Ratio's gaze on him. He ran a hand through his messy hair, trying to smooth it down.

"What?" he asked, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Ratio smirked. "You just look... well, pretty wrecked after our little... session last night."

Aventurine rolled his eyes, but a small smirk played on his lips, betraying his attempt to appear annoyed.

"Shut up," he retorted, crossing his arms over his chest, causing the sheets to slip lower, exposing more of his bare skin.

Ratio chuckled again, amused by Aventurine's reaction. He stood up from the bed and walked over to him, stopping a few inches away, to kiss him and get out of the room. 

Just as Aventurine was getting out of bed, finishing stretching, he heard a curse and a sound of a cup breaking. 

That made him leave the room quickly. 

By the time he gets to the kitchen, his frow frowned. 

"Fuck..." you let go again, grimacing, while holding one of your hands. 

When Ratio had left the bedroom first, you didn't hear his footsteps so when you turned with the hot cup of coffee, you were scared to see him there, causing the cup to fall to the ground after burning with the liquid inside. 

Both Ratio and Aventurine were now watching you carefully.

Ratio's expression was a mixture of concern and guilt, knowing that he startled you. 

Aventurine's frown deepened as he noticed the way you were holding your hand. 

"Are you okay?" Ratio asked, his voice soft and filled with worry.

Aventurine stepped closer to you, eyes fixated on your injured hand.

"What happened?" he asked, looking at the shattered cup on the floor and the spilled coffee.

"It's nothing," you tried to assure them, though you couldn't hide the slight wince that escaped you when you tried to move your hand. 

The burn wasn't that serious, but it hurt. 

Ratio moved closer, his eyes drifting from your hand to your face.

"Let me see," he said, gently taking your hand in his, examining the burn.

Aventurine stood close by, his gaze fixed on Ratio as he carefully inspected your injury.

Ratio's touch was gentle as he examined the burn, his fingers tracing over the reddened skin.

"It's not too bad, but you shouldn't move your hand too much," he said, his voice low and soothing. "I'll get something to treat it."

He released your hand, moving to a nearby cabinet to get the necessary medical supplies, while Aventurine took a step closer to you.

Ratio rummaged through the cabinet, gathering a few supplies to treat your burn.

Aventurine watched Ratio, his gaze drifting from Ratio's focused expression to your now free hand.

He hesitated for a moment, but then he gently reached out and took your injured hand in his.

His touch was gentle, almost reverent, as he held your hand carefully, as if afraid he might hurt you further.

"You need to be more careful," Aventurine scolded softly, his eyes fixed on your hand.

You had to suppress a shiver as you felt Aventurine's touch, his fingers gently caressing the sore skin of your hand.

Ratio returned with a small bag of supplies, a concerned expression still on his face.

"I'll tend to your hand now, okay?" 

Ratio gently took your hand from Aventurine's grasp, preparing the supplies he needed to treat your burn.

Aventurine watched diligently in silence, his eyes never leaving your injury.

Ratio was gently applying the ointment to your burn, his touch precise and practiced.

The stinging sensation lessened as the soothing medicine worked its magic.

Aventurine continued to watch, his eyes fixated on Ratio's hands tending to your injury.

Once Ratio was finished, he wrapped a sterile gauze around your hand to protect the burn.

"There," Ratio said, satisfied with his work. "You'll need to keep the bandage on to protect the burn. Let it heal properly."

You flexed your fingers, feeling a slight discomfort from the burn but relieved by Ratio's skillful treatment.

"Thank you," you murmured, a little embarrassed by all the attention. 

Your eyes looked at the ground, seeing the broken cup, along with the coffee lying on the floor. 

You let out a sigh, seeing the disaster. 

Ratio noticed your gaze and followed it to the broken cup and spilled coffee on the floor. 

"Don't worry about it," he said, putting the supplies back in the cabinet. "Accidents happen."

Aventurine, who was still standing nearby, glanced at the mess on the floor and then back at you.

"I'll clean it up," he said, crouching down to start gathering the shattered pieces of the cup.

"Oh no, Aven," you quickly let go, preventing him from bending over. 

"You two are going to breakfast, you have a lot to do today," you said, as you pointed to the table with food on top. 

Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a glance, a hint of surprise in Ratio's eyes at your quick reaction.

Aventurine was about to protest, but Ratio placed a hand on his shoulder, effectively silencing him.

"They're right," Ratio said, gently pushing Aventurine towards the table. "We do have a lot to do, and it's already noon."

Aventurine let out a sigh.

"But, your burn..." he protested, his eyes moving from Ratio to you. 

"The bandage will do its job. Besides, it's nothing serious," Ratio assured, gently guiding Aventurine towards the table again. 

"We'll leave the cleaning to them. Now come on, let's eat. We're late as it is."

Ratio's insistence was enough for Aventurine to reluctantly agree. He let out a sigh and stopped resisting, finally taking a seat at the table.

Ratio sat down as well, gesturing for you to join them.

"Come here," Ratio urged gently, patting the seat next to him.

Your attention was led back to them. 

"Uhm?, oh, I've already eaten," you let go, as you continued your previous action. 

You bent down to the ground, carefully picking up the broken pieces of the cup, throwing them away. 

Ratio and Aventurine watched you silently, concern and confusion on their faces.

Ratio's brow furrowed as you dismissed the offer to sit with them.

"You did? How long have you been awake?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.

Aventurine's eyes flicked between you and Ratio, his expression mirroring Ratio's concern.

You didn't want to make a big deal out of it, so you simply shrugged. 

"I don't know, maybe a couple of hours?" you mumbled, continuing your task. 

Ratio's frown deepened. "You should have woken us up. You didn't need to get up so early."

Aventurine leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And it's not the first time either," he commented, a hint of irritation in his voice.

Ratio sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "It's not the first time, indeed," he agreed, shooting a disapproving look in your direction.

You paused for a moment, feeling the weight of their gazes on you. 

"I just wanted to make sure everything was ready for you two," you muttered, avoiding their eyes. 

Ratio's expression softened a little, but there was still a hint of frustration in his voice. 

"You don't need to do that. We can take care of ourselves," he said, although the tone was firm, he wasn't truly angry.

"You know we don't like it when you do this," Aventurine scolded gently, his voice firm but tinged with worry.

You knew they were worried about you, but you couldn't help but feel a sense of responsibility for them. You wanted to make sure they had everything they needed, that they were comfortable and well taken care of.

"Mhm," you mumbled. 

"But it's my job as an assistant to both of you and as your partner," you added, grabbing some paper towels to clean the wet coffee floor. 

Ratio let out another sigh.

"Partner," he repeated, the word hanging in the air.

Aventurine's expression hardened, his eyes narrowing slightly. "That's a poor excuse," he said.

"We never asked you to do all that. We never expected you to be at our beck and call like that." 

You finished drying the floor, and you stood again. 

"In fact, that was involved in the contract i signed," you spoke calmly, while throwing away used paper towels. 

You remembered very well the contracts you signed when you were officially the assent of each one respectively. 'It is necessary that the worker be available in semi-complete time and at the disposal...' 

You read those contracts 10 times each, as it was something of utmost importance.

Ratio and Aventurine remained silent for a moment, processing your words.

Veritas seemed frustrated, though not towards you, but rather towards the situation.

"We're not talking about the job or the contracts," Ratio said, his voice firm.

Aventurine added. "We're talking about us. About this... relationship between us," he paused, gesturing to the three of you. 

You sighed, once you finished cleaning, approaching the table. 

"Come on, don't be bitter and eat," you said, as you sat in a chair in front of them. 

They each took a plate, serving themselves and starting breakfast. 

The atmosphere was tense for a few minutes, a heavy silence hanging in the air. 

Ratio was the first to break the silence, his voice softer now. 

"How is your hand?" he asked.

You raised your hand, flexing it slightly.

"It's fine," you assured him. "The intent you applied did its job." 

You're still ordering papers, along with documents on your laptop. 

"Well, I will explain to you the agenda of both today," You said, before you started explaining to them what things are had planned for today. 

Ratio and Aventurine listened attentively to your explanations, occasionally asking questions.

Although they still had a slight hint of frustration from the previous conversation, the tension had somewhat eased.

Ratio nodded as you finished explaining the agenda. "I think we can manage those tasks."

Aventurine, who had been quietly eating, spoke up, "I just need to deal with some more research, and I'll be ready."

You nodded, as you also drank some water, before speaking. 

"All right, then I'll go make some calls for today." 

You stood up from your seat, getting up from the table.

Ratio stood up suddenly too. "Wait." 

Aventurine also stood up, his eyes narrowing.

You paused, slightly surprised by their sudden movements.

Ratio walked over to you, gently taking your hand with the injured one, his touch surprisingly soft. He examined it to make sure the bandage was still in place.

Aventurine remained standing near the table, his gaze fixed on the two of you, his arms crossed over his chest.

Ratio's touch was gentle, a stark contrast to the sternness he had shown earlier.

He seemed satisfied that the bandage was still secure and then looked up at you.

"Be careful," he said, his voice softer than before.

Aventurine still watched from a distance, his eyes fixed on Ratio's hand holding yours.

You couldn't help but feel a bit flustered at Ratio's touch and the concern in his voice.

"I will," you assured him, although you knew they still worried about you.

Aventurine finally walked over to the two of you, standing beside Ratio. 

"Aren't you going to say goodbye to us?" asked him. 

You couldn't help but let out a slight giggle as you rolled your eyes. 

"Okay, okay," you said, as you approached Aven, to give him a gentle kiss on the lips and then do the same with Ratio. 

Ratio and Aventurine returned your kisses, Aventurine's kiss slow and gentle, while Ratio's was a bit more firm but soft.

When you pulled away, they both looked at you with a hint of disappointment.

Ratio spoke up first. "That's too short."

Aventurine nodded in agreement. "Yeah, not enough." 

You let out another laugh, while shaking your head. "Nuh huh, it was fine." 

Ratio's hand, which was still holding yours, squeezed gently as if reluctant to let go. But he reluctantly dropped it.

Aventurine, though he tried to maintain a composed expression, couldn't hide the hint of a smile that tugged at the corners of his lips.

"Good luck with your work," he said. 

You nodded, still feeling a bit flustered, but trying to maintain your composure.

"I'll see you later," you said, as you turned to leave.

Ratio and Aventurine watched you go, their eyes following you until you were out the door, entering your office, next to the master bedroom. 

As you walk into your office, you couldn't help but think about the conversation between the three of you.

You knew they cared about you, and they were concerned for you. But sometimes their overprotectiveness felt suffocating, especially when they questioned your commitment to them.

You could understand how they might feel, though, considering their jobs and the stress they were under.

You settled down at your desk, pulling out some documents and beginning to make the first of many calls you were going to have to do today.

The hours passed, and the calls you made consumed most of your day.

As mid-day approached, you felt your stomach growl, reminding you that you hadn't eaten lunch yet.

You kept looking at all the papers and documents on your desk. 

Since you were only in the apartment at the time, you decided that it would be easier to order fast food. 

When you finally got the order, you ate while looking at your phone, getting a little distracted. 

From there, you get a message, exactly from Aven. 

'Hi, beautiful. I'm with Ratio now, don't prepare anything for dinner, we'll bring food, it won't take long,' 

You smile unconsciously as you read the text, answer it and then leave the chat, to finish eating and then continue doing the paperwork. 

After replying to Aven's message, you finished your meal and turned your attention back to the remaining work.

The afternoon passed by quickly, and the sky outside the window of your office started to turn orange as the sun began to set.

You glanced at the clock, noting that it was getting late. Ratio and Aventurine should be returning soon.

Uhm.

By the time you looked at the clock on the wall again, you grimaced. 

It had been a little longer. 

And by the time you took another look at it, it had been four hours. It was almost midnight. 

Your frown frowned, you were worried now. 

Not to mention you were hungry. 

You glanced at your cell phone, seeing that there was no new message.

You tried to reassure yourself that they must have been busy with work, but as the hours went by, your worry grew. 

Eventually you couldn't stand still anymore, so you got up from your seat and went to the living room, to pace until they arrived.

Time seemed to drag on painfully slow. 

You kept pacing around the room, glancing at the clock on the wall every so often.

And just as you were about to check your phone for the millionth time, the sound of the apartment door opening reached your ears.

You rushed to the entrance, catching a glimpse of Ratio and Aventurine as they entered, looking somewhat...tipsy?

"Finally!" you said, unable to hide your relief. "Where have you been, I was getting worried."

Ratio and Aventurine looked at you, slightly startled by your sudden exclamation.

Aventurine let out a chuckle, his speech slightly slurred. "We were just out having a drink."

Ratio, slightly more composed than Aventurine, spoke up, his voice slightly strained due to the alcohol. "We lost track of time, sorry for worrying you."

You looked at the two of them, noting their disheveled appearance. It seemed like they had more than just a few drinks.

"I can see that," you said, a mix of relief and annoyance in your voice.

You moved closer, scrutinizing their faces. They were both clearly inebriated, their eyes bloodshot and movements a lil uncoordinated. 

without noticing that there were traces of hickeys on their necks. 

Ratio and Aventurine stumbled a bit as they tried to maintain their balance, their coordination affected by the alcohol.

Aventurine noticed you looking at their necks, and he quickly tried to cover the hickeys with his hand. But his reaction only drew your attention more to the marks.

Ratio, noticing this, shifted awkwardly on his feet, his gaze darting away from you.

Your eyes narrowed at the sight of the marks on their necks.

"What are those?" you demanded, your voice a bit colder now. 

Ratio and Aventurine exchanged a quick glance, their alcohol-clouded minds struggling to come up with a coherent response.

Aventurine spoke, "We were... having a bit of fun."

Your eyes narrowed further. "Fun, huh?" You repeated, a hint of annoyance in your voice.

Ratio, ever the mediator, tried to diffuse the situation. "It's nothing to worry about, sweetheart," he tried to reassure you, but his slurred speech contradicted his words.

Aventurine, perhaps a bit tipsy and bolder, smirked, "Yeah, harmless fun, that's all." 

You let out a sigh you didn't know you were holding. 

It was fine, of course they could do that. 

"Mhm," you let go, before walking away a bit, to deter your thoughts a bit. 

"Did you bring the food?" You asked, as you looked at them. 

As they had said by message, you did not prepare anything for dinner, since they said they would bring food. And, already at almost midnight, you died of hunger. 

They exchanged another quick glance, realizing their oversight.

"Food," Ratio muttered, trying to focus his alcohol-fuzzed mind. "Right, we were supposed to bring food."

Aventurine looked at you sheepishly. "We, uh, forgot."

Your annoyance deepened, your disappointment in them growing.

"You forgot," you repeated, trying to keep your voice steady.

Ratio scratched the back of his head. "Yeah... We got carried away, I guess."

Aventurine, seemingly trying to light in the mood, chimed in, "To be fair, we were pretty druunk." 

Okay, that didn't help at all. 

A small knot formed in your stomach. You were hungry, and the realization that you would have to find something to eat at this hour made you kinda feel bad.

  They seemed oblivious to your frustration, their alcohol-clouded minds still attempting to justify their actions.

Ratio tried to play it off, "It's not a big deal, we can order something."

Aventurine added, "Yeah, we can get your food delivered."

But their suggestions only irritated you more.

"It's late," you retorted, your voice becoming more strained. "Most places are closed."

However, Aventurine's words dislocated you a bit. "Your food?" You repeated, while you frown a little in confusion. 

At your questioning tone, Ratio immediately realized his slip-up, and his face paled slightly.

Aventurine didn't seem to notice the effect his words had on you, the alcohol dulling his perception.

"Yeah, YOUR food," he repeated, not realizing the implications of what he was saying.

Ratio, picking up on your reaction, shot Aventurine a glance. "Vasha, just stop," he muttered, trying to shut his partner up. But Aventurine was too caught up in his drunk state to notice Ratio's warning.

Aventurine's words echoed in your mind, adding fuel to the fire of your growing irritation.

Ratio's attempt to silence Aventurine fell on deaf ears, and the alcohol coursing through Aventurine's system loosened his tongue even more.

"What's the problem?" Aventurine asked, still oblivious to the impact of his words. "We can order something specifically for you, right?"

Ratio winced, his hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

You clenched your fists, struggling to keep your emotions in check.

Ratio, seeing the tension building, tried again to intervene. "Vasha, shut up," he hissed through gritted teeth.

But Aventurine, still unaware of the gravity of the situation, waved him off. "Oh, come on, I'm just sayi–"

You interrupted him before he could finish. "Specifically for me?" You repeated again. 

"Have you had dinner yet?" You dared to ask, feeling a strange sting in your throat and chest. 

Aventurine's inebriated mind took a moment to process your question. 

His eyes darted to Ratio, who was silently mouthing "no" to him. But Aventurine, still under the influence of alcohol, blurted out his next words.

"Well... yeah."

Ratio's face paled more, and he pinched the bridge of his nose again, groaning in frustration.

Your heart sank further. The realization that they had not only forgotten to bring you food, but had also eaten without you, was like a punch to the gut.

You felt a mixture of disappointment and hurt wash over you, and it took all your self-control to maintain your composure.

Ratio shot Aventurine a harsh glare, his anger at his partner's drunken carelessness obvious.

Aventurine finally seemed to realize the implications of his words and the impact on you. A hint of soberness flashed across his features. "Oh,"

 Ratio tried to offer an apology. "We're sorry, we didn't mean to make you wait and…"

But you interrupted him, your voice filled with a mix of frustration and disappointment. "It's fine," you said, although it was clear that it wasn't. 

You turned away from them, walking towards the kitchen. "I'll see what I can scrounge up for myself."

 Ratio and Aventurine watched you walk away, their alcohol-dulled minds finally comprehending the gravity of their actions.

"Nice going, genius," Ratio said through gritted teeth, glaring at Aventurine.

Aventurine's drunkenness seemed to wane, replaced by a hint of guilt. "I didn't mean to..."  

Ratio let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand over his face. "I know, Vasha, but you made it worse."

"I just... I wasn't thinking straight," he murmured.

Ratio pinched the bridge of his nose again, his patience wearing thin. "You never think straight when you're drunk."

Before Aventurine could respond, Ratio cut him off. "Just... go take a shower, sober up a bit."

Aventurine nodded sheepishly, knowing that he had messed up. "Yeah, you're right."

He wobbled a little but managed to steady himself before stumbling to the bathroom.

Ratio let out another sigh, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

He let out another weary sigh, still feeling the effects of the alcohol but regaining more soberness. He walked into the kitchen, where you were searching through the cupboards.

Ratio leaned against the doorway, watching you rummage through the cupboards.

The silence between you two was heavy, the tension from before still hanging in the air.

Ratio cleared his throat, trying to break the silence. "Hey," he began, his voice hesitant. 

You didn't turn around, continuing to search the cupboards for something to eat, your frustration evident in your tense movements.

Ratio could tell you were mad, and he didn't blame you.

Although at the time, the word 'mad' wasn't right for you. 

"Darling," he said softly, taking a few steps closer to you, "Can I..."

He reached out a hand, as if to touch your shoulder, but then hesitated, unsure if you would welcome his touch. 

"Go get the bed ready for Aven to lie down, you should do the same," you said, in a tense voice. 

At no time did you turn around, you kept turning your back on him while you pulled out a pan and oil. 

He withdrew his hand.

"I... okay," he mumbled.

He left the kitchen, heading towards the bedroom, still feeling the effects of the alcohol in his veins.

He turned and walked away, leaving you alone in the kitchen. Ratio went to check on Aventurine in the bathroom, hoping his partner would sober up a bit faster.

Meanwhile, you continued to prepare something to eat, your movements still tense and frustrated.

With one hand, you rubbed your eyes quickly, almost frustrated. 

Ratio leaned against the bathroom door frame, watching Aventurine dry his hair with a towel.

"How are you feeling?" Ratio asked.

Aventurine let out a small groan, his head still feeling heavy. "Like I should never drink again."

Ratio chuckled weakly. "That's what you always say, and yet here we are." 

Aventurine hung the towel on a rack and ran a hand over his damp hair, still looking a bit dazed.

"Yeah, I know," he muttered, sitting down on the edge of the bathtub.

He buried his face in his hands, groaning. 

Ratio crossed his arms over his chest, watching his partner's struggle.

"Well, at least you're a little more sober now," Ratio noted.

Aventurine let out a tired sigh, lifting his face from his hands. "Yeah, I guess... But I still feel like crap."

Ratio nodded in understanding. "That's what happens when you drink too much," he said, but there was a hint of worry beneath his words.

"Come, let's go to the room," he added, as he extended a hand to him to get up. 

Aventurine grabbed Ratio's hand, allowing his partner to pull him up.

He stumbled a bit, still a bit unsteady on his feet, but managed to stay upright.

"Aeons, I need to sleep," Aventurine mumbled, rubbing his temple with his free hand.

  Ratio helped him into the room, his arm around his partner's waist to provide support.

"I can imagine," Ratio said, guiding Aventurine to the bed.

Aventurine sat down on the bed, groaning again as he leaned back against the pillows.

Ratio sat down next to him, a concerned expression on his face.

"You really need to take it easy next time," Ratio warned.

Aventurine closed his eyes, still massaging his temples. "Yeah, I know, I know..."

Ratio glanced at the closed bedroom door, his mind still on you and the situation in the kitchen. 

You forced yourself into the room, taking a deep breath. 

Ratio looked up as you entered the room, his expression still laced with tension.

He could tell by your face that you were probably feeling bad.

Aventurine opened his eyes, wincing as the light hit his sensitive eyes.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said weakly, pushing himself up to sit more upright on the bed.

You looked at your hands again before walking to the bed where they were. 

"Take this," you said, extending a glass of water and two pills for each. 

At no time did you look into their eyes, at most you lifted their chests, but not at their faces. 

Ratio took the painkillers and cup of water from you, noting your distant demeanor.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice soft.

They both downed the pills, feeling the effects on their alcohol-muddled minds.

Aventurine watched you, feeling a pang of shame and guilt.

"Sweetheart... we're sorry-" he began, but you cut him off.

"It's okay, go to sleep," you said quietly, your voice betraying your shaky tone."i'm going to eat, rest well." 

Ratio's grip on the glass tightened a bit as he listened to your words.

He could sense the hurt and frustration beneath your calm facade.

"But...are you-" Aventurine started, but trailed off as you turned away, walking out of the room. 

You didn't like this at all. 

You were in the dining room, having dinner at 2am. 

Your eyes were a little itchy, but maybe you were being a little exaggerated. 

But you couldn't help but feel single in some way. That was when you weren't in a relationship with them. 

Ratio and Aventurine lay down in bed, both still feeling the effects of the alcohol.

Ratio stared up at the ceiling, his mind still preoccupied with his worries.

Aventurine shifted uncomfortably on the bed, the guilt and shame gnawing at him.

"Maybe we should try to talk to them...?" Ratio mumbled.

Aventurine let out a weary sigh, burying his face in the pillow.

"I don't think they want to talk to us at the moment," he muttered, his words muffled by the pillow.

Ratio grimaced, realizing that Aventurine was probably right.

"Yeah, you're probably right..." he said, his voice subdued. 

"I'm sure tomorrow they will forget everything," he said, caressing Ratio's cheek. 

  Ratio leaned into Aventurine's touch, finding comfort in his partner's presence. "I hope so..."

He was about to say something else, but a yawn cut him off.

"I'm exhausted," he mumbled, feeling the tiredness finally catching up with him.

Aventurine nodded, approaching him. 

"Yeah, me too..." he murmured, his eyelids growing heavy.

"I'll try to make it up to them tomorrow," he muttered.

Ratio hummed in agreement, feeling his own eyelids droop. 

Their words trailed off as they both surrendered to the pull of sleep, their alcohol-sated minds finally shutting down for the night.

Meanwhile, you finished eating your dinner, the food not helping to improve your mood.

You felt frustrated and a tad sad, despite trying to appear indifferent.

The next day, and in itself, the days that followed, you forced yourself a little to act normal, until everything was 'normal' for your mind.

All for the sake of your job and relationship.

Well, you could say that everything was fine and as before.

Except that by the 'as before', it had become somewhat distorted.

In a way, they stay attentive and worried, or so you said to yourself.

But like that in a way, you felt like they had become more bossy, so to speak.

But that's what they behaved for you.

You couldn't tell if it was how they behaved or you were just getting a little fed up with the most basic things, you have to plan and do.

I mean, you were both of them's assistant, but not the housekeeper. 

Despite your efforts to act normal, there was a growing sense of irritation and frustration within you.

The lines between assistant and housekeeper often blurred, and it felt like they expected you to take on more than what was expected of your role.

Still, you tried to be understandable, you knew that their work wasn't the easiest and funniest ever. 

You tried your best to push these feelings aside, but it was becoming harder and harder. 

Days turned into weeks, and the strain on your nerves continued.

The tasks they asked you for went beyond what was reasonable for an assistant.

Your own responsibilities seemed to take a backseat, replaced by their demands and needs.

You felt overlooked and unappreciated, like your efforts and contributions were taken for granted.

Each time you tried to bring up your concerns, they brushed them off, assuring you that they were just being "busy" with work.

Or as they used to say, "by chance" they always did something together that kept them busy. 

The sense of imbalance in the relationship continued to weigh on you, eroding your patience and confidence. 

It became harder to ignore the frustration that gnawed at the pit of your stomach.

You felt like you were walking on eggshells, always trying to please them and meet their expectations.

But no matter how much you tried, it never seemed like enough.

©cherrylovelycherry do not repost, copy, translate, modify

[buckys-little-belle]

Im scared to but my first Barbie, but I really want one! Sooooo bad. Can you maybe write Steve and Bucky meeting a she/her reader in the Barbie spot in a store and being nice to her? Maybe buying her a Barbie and some clothes? And they are just nice?

Barbie Aisle Buddies

Stucky x Shy!Little!Reader (She/Her Pronouns Used)

Warnings - The reader is generally a worry wart so she has a bit of 'panic' and worry during this fic, it gets resolved by the end and fluff ensues after her worry.

Notes - I honestly pulled inspiration from a fic I had written a while ago about a shy reader in a toy aisle, so I hope it's okay that I made the ready shy. This is also pretty short! But also so cute!!! Also I know it can be scary going to a store and buying toys but I promise you it's okay! I have bought so many Barbies and Barbie toys like clothes, and I described a Barbie I own in this story! Don't let worry eat you up, go buy the Barbie! Trust me when I tell you it's worth the worry, having fun dolls that I get to play with and dress up is so fun and I don't regret getting them! You only live once bubba, don't let the worry get you down for too long! I hope you get a Barbie soon!!! <3

SFW - Keep all interactions with the post, and this blog, SFW!

. ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ . ☆ . ☾ . ☆ . ☽ .

Y/n had been hyping herself up for a month now. Twenty dollars in her pocket, and a determined state of mind were all she had as she walked up and down the Barbie aisle of her local grocery store. It was a small selection of dolls, yet so overwhelming at the same time.

Some dolls had different jobs, chef, doctor, fashion designer. Others had fancy outfits or animal sidekicks. It was hard to pick just one doll, but seeing as she only had enough money for one doll, she knew she had to pick just one.

"Hello." A man's voice broke through her overthinking, a man stood just a few feet away, dressed in a t-shirt and jeans, some worn out sneakers on his feet. He looked familiar, though Y/n couldn't place just where she had seen him before. "I'm Steve." He smiled, turning to look at the same shelf she had her eyes on previously. "It's hard to pick one, isn't it?"

"Um." Y/n panicked, trying to remember the excuse she had made up regarding why she was in this aisle. Did she land on 'getting a toy for a friend's kid' or 'I have a birthday party to attend'?

"Steve!" Another man's voice called out. This time a man dressed all in black, combat boots and gloves included, planted himself a few feet away. "Hi there, Doll." He smiled, Y/n couldn't help but smile back, the man's charm winning her over. "Which one do you have your eye on?" He asked as he scanned the shelves, hands crossed over his chest, looking at the plethora of choices like he too was thinking about getting one.

"Oh, I'm not, I'm just, you know, a, I don't, I." Y/n began stuttering, trying to get out an excuse, any excuse, to make them believe she wasn't buying a Barbie doll for herself.

"Dolls don't have an age, Doll." The man without a name chuckled. "If you're looking for a Barbie to play with I would suggest one that comes with a few items." He began pointing to a few sets she had looked at, but sets that were over her budget.

"I like this one." Y/n quickly grabbed a doll she had her eye on. She was a chef and came with a pan and what looked to be a fried egg. She had a chefs hat and coat, and looked fun enough, but the biggest pull was it was the only doll with accessories that was in her price range.

"She'll need some everyday clothes." Steve squatted down to a lower shelf, rummaging through some small containers for a set of clothes.

"I can't, I just. This is all I can get." Y/n smiled with a hint of self conciseness. Admitting you didn't have a lot of Barbie money to strangers wasn't the end all be all, but at the same time it still felt extremely venerable.

"Well, Doll." The unnamed man with a smile full of charm spoke again. "It's your lucky day then." He pulled the cart Steve must have brought closer to the shelf. "Pick whatever you want."

"What?" Y/n shook her head taking a step back, confused as to what he meant.

Steve was the one to speak up this time. "You don't know who we are, I'm guessing." His smile was softer, more gentle. "I was formally known as Captain America." The truth felt like a weight had been lifted off Y/n's shoulders, her happy to know that she wasn't crazy for thinking he looked familiar.

"And I'm his sidekick, Bucky Barnes, formally known as The Winter Soldier." Mr Unnamed added on.

"Oh." Y/n nodded her head, taking in the two men, even more confused as to why they were wasting their time in a local stores Barbie aisle with her. "Sorry for bothering you."

Y/n was ready to dash with her doll, worried that the super soldiers she just met would grow tired of her quiet demeanor. "Doll." Bucky called out, his voice commanding yet it still had a joking tone to it. "Come back here and pick at least four things."

"Buck." Steve whispered loudly.

"Steve." Bucky said back, his tone condescending. "Doll, please let us but you some dolls. It would make our day." She still hadn't turned around and had half a heart to run, yet for some reason she turned around and took a good look at the shelf.

There really were some sets she'd love to have, like the farmers market stand and a little dog set, and Steve was right, her doll needed everyday clothes. "You won't make fun of me?" She asked, worry surrounding each word.

"Wouldn't dream of it." Steve put his hand over his heart, an action that made her giggle.

"I'm Y/n." She finally gave them her name, a small smile breaking past her worried expression.

"It's nice to meet you, Y/n." Bucky and Steve said at the same time, the three of them laughing.

"Which outfit do you think your doll would look best in?" Steve held out a few options, letting Y/n ponder over them as Bucky tried to convince her to pick the Barbie camper as one of her choices, as if she had a spot for such a big play set.

"I like this one." She pointed to a package that help a blue dress, pick shirt, and jean skirt. The shoes were cute too, and she got excited at the idea of dressing her doll in the outfit.

So there they all stood, Steve and Bucky trying to convince Y/n to get super expensive things, and Y/n trying to figure out how she got so lucky to have two super soldiers worrying over her new doll collection.

[amethystfairy1]

Quick question! You said TT was 65% done, what about TTSBC?

And what comes next?

(You have mentioned writing 15k words for an au no one knows abt once... unless I'm mistaking)

TTSBC is...

ahhhhh...

ok so here's the thing. TTSBC is planned to be three "arcs" long...and we are almost to the end of arc 1.

THAT BEING SAID THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE OTHER TWO ARCS ARE GONNA BE THE SAME LENGTH AS THE FIRST!

And besides, I still plan to be on my timeline bullshit where I bounce up and down writing at different points in time, so it's not gonna suddenly turn linear at any point. But I'd say TTSBC is...hmm...maybe 40% done? Maaaaaaaaybe? It's harder to guess with TTSBC because the way I write TTSBC a lot of the in betweens of the plot points is less clearly defined. With TT the overall style of storytelling in a lot more concise, I do plan out the beats of the stories more firmly whereas in TTSBC I'm just like 'well I mean another Flower Husbands date fic couldn't hurt anyone' and then suddenly there's an extra 10k for ya 😅

That 15k I mentioned...so yeahhh...I think I mentioned it in my new years post, but the Tinted Glass Crew is currently on our collective bullshit and working on a fun little project. I absolutely no idea when it will come out, what shape exactly that it's going to take, but it's a big collaborative thing all four of us plan to work on together! Not to say that TT and TTSBC haven't become pretty collaborative at this point, but...it's hard to explain! It's gonna be awesome, just trust me on this! I dunno when it's gonna be done, but it's gonna be great! 😆

[deafsignifcantother]

the baby

♥ summary: almost loosely based off of this by @ukor02. This is really just a small little writing thing I did at 4am. ♥ relationship: no direct romance really, just some cute stuff between Lucifer and reader. ♥ word count: 1.6k ♥ notes: no childbirth mentioning and this is written like just as summaries of the situation tbh, almost like a bullet point format without the bullet points, the entire cast are characters, hospital scene, I made Alastor a main character and her main bestie because of course I did, reader is happy to be a mother

You wanted to give your baby a chance to get into Heaven, even if it meant they'd leave without you. Hell is no place for a child. Both you and Charlie knew that.

.

"What a pleasant surprise," you sign to Alastor when you see that damn smiling demon right outside your hotel room.

He laughs; aw, you're describing his arrival as pleasant. Did he make a good impression on you when you saw him last when he introduced himself in person in Pride Sign Language? You never seemed to have paid any mind to him, giving one motion signs as responses whenever he tried starting a conversation. But even when you interacted with him like that, he couldn't help but wonder why you always looked at him with your sweet, shy gaze. It's not on purpose, which is the worst part.

Pleasant, you called it a pleasant surprise.

"It's good to see you too, my dear!" He signs, bowing a bit and pushing past you into your room. "What have you been up to?"

What an obnoxious question.

You close the door, squeezing the doorknob tightly. This is going to be a long evening. When you turn back to Alastor, he's in your living room examining the decor, your random art pieces taped to the walls and organized together, though not concisely.

He waves his hands. "I love what you've done with the place."

"I've been bored." You sign with a slight nod to yourself. It's awfully isolating, which is obvious. Still, it has never hit you as hard as it does now as you watch another person walk through your chambers.

"I'm glad I can be in your company then." His smile widens, and the static he emits gets heavier. His ear twitched a bit, which you noticed but tried not to directly look at. Was it a good or bad thing?

"But it's often relieving to be alone," you start and look him up and down.

"You're quite used to being alone, aren't you?"

Your lips tighten, your hands stiff, and you are unable to finish your sentence. Absentmindedly, you rest them on your plump, pregnant belly. Alastor does his best not to let his eyes draw down to analyze it. Still, his head tilts, even just a little. He hates looking at your hands when you touch your stomach. Did his mother hold her belly like that when he was inside of hers?

"Don't you have others to talk to?"

"They're out on their little journeys, you know them."

"Of course."

Alas, he lets his eyes trail down to your stomach. It's not quite full, but it's obvious enough to gain attention from others. Charlie will put her hands on it every day, waiting for the baby to show its presence. She can feel the heartbeat, and so can you and Vaggie, though everybody else can't feel a thing. Alastor refuses to put a hand on your stomach. Life is precious and loud, and the few who were never human understand that differently than the others.

"I wanted to check in on the baby."

A twitch of your eyebrow makes his smile widen.

"Why?"

.

The day before, Lucifer arrived.

You try on your best clothes, laying them flat against your front, looking at your belly in the mirror. For the king, should you try to hide it or show it proudly? He has a daughter, but does that affect his thoughts about Hellborn pregnancies? Gosh, what do you have to worry about? So stupid.

With the other people, your new friends, you stood with your head proud.

He swirled with the dragons and hugged his daughter as if he hadn't seen her for years. What a kind man, unusually kind. His eyes... Those soft, precious eyes. And when they landed on you, your heart almost stopped. He looked at you as if you were an angel. When his lips started to move, the smile you didn't even know you wore faded.

Charlie put her hand on his shoulder and whispered something to him. And there came Alastor, saving the day.

"The idiotic king was just telling you how happy he is for you." With the signs came the grinding of his teeth.

Lucifer approached, his cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment. He addressed Alastor with aggressive hesitance. 'Tell her...' he said.

Charlie smiled excitedly, Nifty kept nodding, and Sir Pentious's eyes started tearing up.

Alastor grimaced. "He's asking if he could feel your stomach."

As always, you've put a thorn in the flow of interactions.

Still, you put on a smile. "Of course."

And there you stood, the King of Hell's hands gently holding you. You could feel the cold of his touch even through the fabric of your shirt. The heartbeat vibrated through both your body and his. The baby was alive and well; you could tell through the pure glee that spread across his face. Beyond your tiny ounce of worry, you knew he'd find hope within your baby.

Alastor watched with a terribly strained smile.

.

"Why?" You ask again when he doesn't answer. "What's with the sudden worry?"

"Worry? No, no." Alastor waves you off. "More like..."

You watch with interest as he trails off, a vulnerability you love.

He squints his eyes and clenches his fists, but only for a moment. His lack of vocabulary kills him. "...Intrigue."

You crack a smirk. "Are you finally gonna feel my stomach?"

Another pause. Alastor considers it, but all he can imagine is his claws accidentally drawing blood.

"No."

"That's okay." Again, your hands rest on your stomach.

.

Alastor has been watching it grow, but so has Lucifer. Charlie's father scarcely visits, and you've convinced yourself it's to see you. Every time he enters the hotel, he asks how you are. He tries to lift his hands to sign but finds no words forming. A language was created in his world, and he has yet to learn how to learn it.

Whenever he presses his hands against your belly, he can feel the liveliness of the soul forming inside you, and he can feel your appreciation at his care.

Begrudgingly, he always has to ask Alastor for advice on communicating with you. Alastor always has a cocky smirk when he teaches.

Charlie has to ask Alastor for help, too, but more willingly. Alastor raises his chin and squares shoulders when people ask him for help. Charlie went to him for help on a conversation you knew she was going to start with you:

"You're not going to stay here for the battle."

"I know." There was no argument on your behalf. Charlie's cheeks still went pink.

"But I have to figure out where it's safest for you. Alastor told me Cannibal Town, but uhh... Maybe not."

"They'll all be here anyway. Maybe they'll distract the angels from going over there."

Her bright eyes widen a bit. "Do you think so?"

"I can stay over there, even if they try to eat me." They won't, and even if they try, they know Alastor would end their lives, don't they?

She fiddles with her fingers before lifting them up again. "I suppose..."

She's so quickly convinced it's cute. You're right, though, of course. Cannibal Town might be the safest place, specifically under the hands of Rosie, who Alastor had previously told you would be more than willing to help you. You can imagine her smile at seeing your belly, twice the size as when Alastor first told you about her. Unbeknownst to Charlie, he's been planning this for a while.

Your stress for their safety irks you more than you expected.

You place a hand on Charlie's, lifting your other one. "I'll be okay."

Before you left for Cannibal Town, you met Lucifer once again, a more loving side of him. He cradled your head and held the back of your neck as he did. His cold body felt like warmth to you. He whispered things to you; you could only tell from how his breath constantly brushed against your ear in sing-songy waves. Was he singing to you? A lullaby? He pulled away and finally signed to you. "You're going to be a great mom."

A moment before, Alastor finally put his hands on your belly. His hands were warm. Like Lucifer, he was whispering to himself, holding silent words from you. In another life, you'd imagine they were prayers. At that moment, only an instinct, you put your hands on his, and he allowed it.

The stress of their safety worsened when they were left alone in Cannibal Town without a word of winning or losing.

The winning of Hell was all you wanted to focus on when you noticed the contractions getting worse, spaced out in purposeful ways. Oh goodness, you found yourself thinking, oh my God.

What if Lucifer dies on the same day your child is born?

But after the battle, he was right there to cradle the baby in his arms, his heavenly grasp relaxing the tiny baby. The rest of the group sat in your room, Sir Pentious absent, tears in their eyes at both the birth and the death.

Beyond Lucifer's cradling, Husk was the only one who touched your child that day. He placed his furry paw against the baby, feeling the body heat that they admitted. Life could be beautiful, he decided.

Vaggie's sense of revenge deepened. She sacrificed Heaven to save a child, and now she's even more than willing to kill her sisters to save yours.

While Charlie stares at your baby with tears, Alastor smiles warmly at you. He knew you could do it: birth something beautiful and worth protecting.

Your eyes are locked on Lucifer. He's an amazing, supportive dad to Charlie, and your heart begins to swell. Your heartbeat increases, and a blush weakly forms on your already flushed face. His rough hands hold a forgiving softness. He's beautiful.

[captainjoongki]

not to sound like an annoying karen, but i honestly, truly feel that netflix has fucked up the kdrama genre for good.

just 10-ish years ago, there were kdramas that the big 3 korean channels (SBS, MBC, KBS) would broadcast and then there were kdramas that the main cable channels (jTBC and tvN) would broadcast. and between those groupings, you got everything. you got 16-20 episodes of dramas that had heartfelt writing, filmed with bright colors, filmed with concise plots, that most of the time, ended WELL. you got a GOOD ending that was complete. the works felt authentically south korean. yes, there were cheesy tropes and moments that made you cringe, but it felt so real. and you had SO many kdramas airing during the week! you couldn't keep track of just how many!

cut to netflix coming in and making it big with kdramas with squid game and some romantic works and then suddenly they (and disney+) are making these short kdramas, less than 10 episodes, with generic filters, generic plots, and poorly written scripts that are just mere shadows of what kdramas used to be. they end shitty 90% of the time. and worst of all, they feel like american shows. and no, i don't mean sex scenes or action scenes because hey, i love change there, but i mean the entire VIBES are just off. they're not the kdramas i fell in love with, the ones that felt so human. and thanks to these big, foreign companies coming in, the main broadcast channels have basically shut down 1/2 their timeslots, and so many dramas aren't even getting aired these days.

yes times change progress is great robots will probably replace us all in a few years blah blah, but it's really depressing to me personally since i have such fond memories of the utter joy of kdramas, especially from the golden era of 2008-2017. and while there are some that escape the netflix!americanized! curse, it's unfortunately the majority that remain nothing but commercial puppets, rather than authentic entertainment.

[sgiandubh]

Contemplating Bullshit

Quick, Fandom Police, screencap this and send it to CO. ASAP:

'Dear' CO (or should I say, eh... 'Glinda'? 🙄),

You wrote what amounts to a PhD thesis about one of my recent posts (https://www.tumblr.com/sgiandubh/753845334988423168/they-watch-they-hate-then-they-copy?source=share). So long for your carefully curated 'I don't care about Those Tinhat Shippers' narrative, in the process: but hey, common sense never bothered you and your ilk, right?

You don't care, but you write. Abundantly. Prompted by a denunciation that should give your 'US progressive beliefs' pause. Between you and me, lady: our European shipper community cannot give a dead rat's ass about you systematically dragging the US politics current evolution in this TV series fandom, in an effort to-

a) brown nose the US more conservative, MAGA crowd (with which 'Erself seems to be resonating, but that is suddenly and conveniently of no social and political import to you, of course)

b) sound sophisticated towards what you think (wrongly) is a primitive, uneducated, politically unaware shipper fandom crowd.

Some of the shippers chose to go political, for their own reasons and if they are happy with it, so am I. I do happen to believe in freedom of speech and editorial choices. Many, such as myself, chose to never mix politics and mundane, private beliefs (such as all this fandom thing), just because we happen to think, in Europe, that mixing those two notions is extreme poor taste. With dramatic historical precedents to boot. So you see, I am not very sure what point are you trying to prove, spare that you somehow consider yourself superior to those who do not share your political views. Told you: so long for your progressiveness and I am sorry, but your are such a Cheap Demagogue, lady!

Then, you couldn't help yourself but tell a Big, Fat Glinda Lie:

I did not invent the Orc concept. Your running mate, BIF (the Poor Man's CO, btw) did - and proud of herself, too:

Discerning Orcs vs. Stupid Shippers, Circle of Trust vs. Rectangle of Reality. We know that song, that is so 2019. And sure, I did mention an Orc Army (five to ten blogs, the rest are parrots, unable to make the difference between 'pixilated' and 'pixelated', when talking about a blurry picture - pixie/pixel, btw). My understanding is that someone as genuinely intelligent (that, I grant you) as yourself was piqued by the irony. But you chose to be nasty. Fair enough. Your problem, not mine.

Have you moved on? It doesn't sound like you did. And yeah, you sound angry and bothered and barely keeping up a civilized demeanor, there.

I could go on and on and on, debunking everything you said, but I am merciful to my readers and I happen to think that sometimes being clear and concise is far more effective than being verbose. So, here is the deal, CO:

Take your condescending, US-centric world view and your intolerant nastiness and shove them right up your Glinda nose, ok?

As for me, I am firmly on the ship deck. You are not to tell me what I saw with my own eyes. Better stick to whatever you post on your political blog. You have a LOT of work to do there. Seriously.

PS: in the book, Glinda is the Good Witch from the South. Just pedantically sayin'.

[gatitties]

Heyy first of all I love ur Tokyo revenger fics! I was wondering if u write Bonten Sanzu x fem! Reader with mommy issues? She fights s lot with her mom and Sanzu finding out and comforting her? Tyy

─Bonten!Sanzu x fem!reader

─Summary: You decide to end your silence, seeking help from the person who has spent years in your life, this whole arguing situation was making you desperate.

─Warnings: none

─ You don't know at what point in your life the arguments with your mother began, but they persisted until your adulthood.

─ Your father figure was simply either not present, or did not have his own voice to take one side or the other, so it was always a tug of war between you and your mother.

─ Although everything was at times, you could go months without arguing with her, and one random day argue and not talk for a couple of months until one of you two gave in.

─ You felt so bad about this whole situation, that sometimes you turned to other people to escape from home in your adolescence.

─ You met Sanzu when he was still in Toman and, oblivious to the entire criminal underworld, you became entangled with him when Bonten was formed.

─ Even if you didn't like what he did, it would destroy you emotionally not to have anyone to help you even if you no longer needed to run away from your parents' house.

─ Of course, you decided not to tell anything about your problems at home, despite having been together for years, you thought it was too personal to tell Sanzu, just as he only told you what he wanted about his band.

─ There came a point where you couldn't stand it anymore, some of your mother's comments towards you were painful, even when you no longer lived with them, the visits became a punishment.

─ Your relationship with Sanzu became closer and you began to depend a little emotionally on him, romanticizing small aspects of your life together, which led you to live with him.

─ And, therefore, you ended up exploding one day, being a sobbing mess while recounting how bad your mother sometimes made you feel, the hurtful comments, and the absurd arguments.

─ Sanzu canceled the plan to go out to one of the Haitani brothels and stayed all night listening to you get rid of a sentimental weight.

─ He's not the best at comforting people, he definitely wasn't good with words, especially now that his life consisted of threatening and not reassuring, but he made the effort just for you.

─ It was brief and concise, it didn't make all your worries disappear instantly, but it served for now, you clung to him like a lifeboat since what you knew as family was little by little removed from your life for your own good.

─ Sanzu suggested you make a 'personal visit' with some of his friends because of all the problems they had caused you, but now that he also decided to open up about his work, you decided that you would simply change your lifestyle.

[lifeiskentastic]

plsplspls write more sebastian fluff <33 i love ur writing sm

sorry for taking so long(

gn!Reader leads a drunken Seb out of his bar

Gif by @dilfgifs

A/N: Thank you all for your replies, you are so sweet 😭😭 I would reply to every single one of them but I started this blog as a side blog just to post one fic and I never thought it would go this far… anyway, thank you sm!

Summary: A friend (but not for long) Reader helps Seb after he gets drunk in his own bar;

Word count: small but concise 360 words;

Thanks for y'all again!

"How did you manage to get drunk in your own bar?"

Seb's head jerked around on your shoulder, nearly knocking you both to the ground. Still, it was a bit impractical to carry a drunken, grown man on the neck.

"I'm not drunk at all..."

The light laughter that followed these words indicated the opposite.

"Tell me that tomorrow morning."

After all, now that your friend had decided to drink himself into oblivion in his own bar, you would have to take care of him until the sun came up, until the first sober thought entered his head.

You would have been walking quietly through the empty, deserted park with Sebastian hanging on your shoulders, if not for the suspiciously strange silence from someone who had just spilled an entire bottle of whiskey into himself.

"Are you okay?"

You stopped and cautiously looked over your shoulder, meeting Seb's floating, mindless eyes.

"You look beautiful."

You blushed instantly, but kept your eyes on Sebastian. It's not that he's never complimented you before, it's just that right now he seemed so sincerely uninhibited and honest that your heart had to flutter.

"You too."

Seb's satisfied smile tripled in size. He relaxed his head on your shoulder, watching you from under his half-open eyelids.

There was something special about walking through the starry park at night, with the pungent smell of alcohol around Sebastian and his loving gaze fixed only on you.

You wonder how much of this will remain in Seb's memory after he sobered up? Well, judging by his sly look, he clearly knew how to keep that beautiful moment in his head.

"You're not that drunk, are you?"

"Oh." Sebastian's hands, which you had been holding to prevent him from accidentally losing his balance while faking drunkenness, closed on your cheekbones. "How did you manage to expose me?"

"You're a terrible actor." Although, in fact, you were glad that Seb's words and actions were done in good faith and with full understanding. "I can't believe you made me drag you."

"Ha-ha, I'm sorry, I was just enjoying it too much."

You couldn't help but agree.

P.S. Oh, what a plot twist!

[astralnymphh]

born of flora and fauna | teaser I. ellie williams

knight!ellie x princess!reader

an; thought I would bestow a little excerpt from my prologue for this fic, cause the preluding alone needs its own teaser. plus, a little moodboard for it! this would count for the prologue only, as it's set in the wintertime and then progresses into spring. just a note this series is a bit more fantasy leaning than pinpoint history accurate (mainly in clothing department) but I'll still be including some realism into it. expect some.. complicated n poetic writing.

༻⋆the excerpt;

a vividness to her movements, flowing like a river. for it is water that soothes the most cosmic fires, carves veins into the earth's soil, descends from the heavens above and proves iron soluble. a knight so pinpoint and poised like a painter, yet so daring and baneful like a warrior of evenfall. an artisan of her craft, ellie was. born to thrive in matters regarding protection of her kingdom and its nobility.

you were a daughter of the illustrious king and queen, sister of your highly revered and cherished kin, prudence. subsequent to her fabled rise, was your fall. down-spiraling in neglect and a corroding shame that you couldn't fulfill the duties of a courteous princess. wickedness wasn't necessarily your play of folly. rebuking the role of royalty isn't your entire bastion of vengeance. you purely long for a world of your own color. your self-brewn arcadia of art. in a concise phrase, desire for sovereignty.

' why don't you resemble your sister more? '

upon this midwinter day, steel clashes and clanks with the marching of castle guards en route to their designated patrol sites just beyond the barrier of the throne room. braziers birthing a cordial flame glowing with a saffron ember, balls of warmth to resign a frigid numbing along the stone pillars surrounding the epicenter. the rabble of townsfolk forked into two large columns in the palatial hall afore the platform of the royal family, gossiping amongst themselves at the event taking place.

you are aligned in royal seating adjacent to your mother and fathers throne, crossed legs pleating your tunics' billowing skirt, seemingly stoic poise contrasting your usual gestures of criticism and resentment. a flurry of knights in waiting present themselves individually before the nobility, emanations of each one's virtues and brawns scrutinized in one sweeping glance of the majesty himself, to which the mass of them were not up to par.

on comes a figure, shrouded by a leather fitting of attire compared to the other bodies of steel and chain before them, a smooth cloak of basil green silk embroidered with their respective house symbol in yellow; a moth, and a face hidden by the iron nature of a helmet. as every knight has shown oneself to the king, so do they, forcepping the helm with a gauntleted grip to reveal a face blemished by the trudging of time and battle, freckles mimicking the color of almonds, lips like a coral rose bud and hair painted of the most earthly russet you've ever bore sights to. except, there was one asset that sucked you right into her indirect gaze, circlets of green, like a willow tree's canopy of shrubbery, green, like the vernal springscape of the earlier year, an ethereal green, a hue no soul has ever seen before.

༻⋆the moodboard;

hope yall are excited as I am!!! 💗 this is the first draft of a portion of my prologue so you may see some additions or changes.

[ninyard]

To think that the plot of aftg is mainly people being moved by little acts of kindness made by kevin ( neil, andrew and jean mainly ) and also about the kevin offing himself, I think he would probably send letters instead of just notes knowing how he is.

oh yeah. maybe not to everyone but to all the people who saved his life, who changed his life, who kept him safe and kept him going. maybe people would assume that he didn't leave anything only to find a box full of envelopes when they go through his stuff. Andrew, the thickest of them all, because half of the letter is scribbled out sentences and words that would never be enough and time wasted on writing things, hoping he'd change his own mind. Neil, for giving him the courage to be his own person, for freeing him from a life he never wanted. Jean, for all the reasons that couldn't even be explained concisely in a single letter. David, for being a father to him when he didn't even know it to be the truth. and maybe Riko, a fuck you mess of a letter in a blank envelope because he never intended for it to be sent to him in the end.

[booksbluegurl]

Productivity Worklog Pt. 1

I took today's classes and followed the routine pretty well, except that I couldn't practice dance or have a workout, I was out with a friend and took longer than expected. I was inspired by this post to have an honest studyblr. Though I really like my pinterest decorated posts, I'm gonna continue them whenever I get a chance, but i'll definitely try to share my honest worklog, also because I like to flex. 😂

In English literature, to remember the dates, I created a whole list of years and added the names and works of the authors I've read till now in short form. And because I didn't have space, I clarified who and what it was on the sticky note. Hopefully, this will work well in long term.

I also watched a few recorded lectures our teacher sent on Dystopian literature. The Last Man had an influence on me that I ended up writing a poem on it.

For Inorganic Chemistry, I revised the first lecture notes of Salt Analysis and I formed this short sticky note on the General Rules of Solubility, I'm very confused in this so i'll have to revise it again and again but it's good to have something in a concise manner.

This is basically just the mess of my books.

So, here's an introduction to my study tables, since I don't have ang space to set up my table and chair to sit on, I take my bed table and use it for studying. And my study table is experiencing the wrath of my laziness, unfortunately.

[ninja-muse]

I'm once again departing slightly from tradition with my December review. First, and least importantly, the poor image quality! I forgot my proper camera at work and had to bring this book back to the library, so ended up using my phone in artificial light. I've tried to clean it up some, but … yeah, it's not great. I know.

More importantly, this is a series review, not a book review. I don't feel right saying, "read part three!" when parts one and two are just as good and you'd be missing context without them. Which is sort of weird to be saying about history books, maybe, but there you go.

So, basically, the History of Ancient Egypt books by John Romer are the Egyptian history books to read, especially if you like academic histories, big picture narratives, archaeology, or decolonizing the past. They're detailed but readable, seem comprehensive in terms of sources, and are nearly as concerned with tracing the history of the "common knowledge" about Egypt as they are with describing cultural shifts within ancient Egypt itself and with busting myths.

Yes, "academic" here does mean densely informative. Each book is trying to cover hundreds, if not thousands, of years, after all. However, Romer is keenly aware of that and also aware that he's writing for a lay audience. He's warm, concise, and direct; never wanders off topic or too far down any particular track; provides copious illustrations; chooses his examples for maximum effect; and breaks down facts and misconceptions plainly. There are also anecdotes and other humanizing moments, loving descriptions of artworks, translations of ancient writings, and other moments of bringing the past to light and injecting some lightness. It might be occasionally slow, but it's far more readable than it could be.

Romer is also rigorous, in the way of a good historian. His focus is on what we truly know, what we can glean from Egyptian writings and art and other aspects of material culture, and he's good about pulling back from and pointing out the Western lens at every turn. So, he'll talk about the training and knowledge and labour that lies behind a sculpture or temple, he'll talk about the continuity of form from the Old to Middle to New Kingdoms, and he'll talk about what that says about cultural values and social organization—and then he'll bring up a 19th-century European who looked at that art and saw an ancient Napoleon or slave labour or proto-Christianity, because that European couldn't see outside his own context.

And because of Romer's focus on the archaeology, this ends up, like I said, as a big picture sort of history. There isn't much we can know about a lot of the pharaohs, let alone daily lives of other individuals, because so much time has passed and so much was never recorded. (And trying to build granular history from what's known is, as he points out, fraught, since so much Egyptian writing was formulaic and over-dramatized.) What we get instead is shifts in artistic and architectural techniques, shifts in the location of royal residences and tombs, more art vs. less art, first appearances of formulae that echo down the ages, signs of trade and international connection, and the like. Major pharaohs are mentioned, of course, and their dramatic Westernized personalities, but those also, he pares back. Yes, Akhenaten came up with a new god and apparent monotheism. No, he didn't "dictatorially force it" on the population.

Which is not to say that Romer's perfect in his stance. There have been moments in every volume where I've wondered if he's still making assumptions, or if he's backed up by the research in his bibliography and just not writing down his full reasoning. (At least some of this has to do with art criticism. Does a change in imagery or style really mean what he says it does?) There are also moments when I feel like he could stand to speculate a little more than he does, like the period near the end of this latest volume where the tombs get rushed and the tomb-builders are assigned to different projects. In other places in the books, he comments on how interesting of a shift X is, what X tells us about priorities, what forces might have prompted X—but he doesn't here. He just states facts.

(Is this me putting my own Western bias to work? Or me just wanting to know unknowable things? Entirely possible, on both counts.)

I do definitely, though, applaud Romer's commitment to decolonizing ancient Egyptian history. There has been a lot of speculation, a lot of sloppy and wishful thinking, and a lot of racism/orientalism at play in the last 250 years, after all, and it's lead to an image of Egypt that isn't substantiated. It's not just the great events, either, like Hatshepsut's "usurpation" and the "Great Man" Ramesses II and the "Sea Peoples" who seem to have been, as individual people groups, already living in the area. Romer also points out that you can't have a "market" if you don't have money, you can't have a "marriage" if you don't have weddings, and you can't map 4,000-year-old armed conflicts like you would the Battle of Waterloo (for one thing, the army is a lot smaller, no matter what pharaoh claims). A whole section of Volume 2 addresses the early French and German egyptologists and their motives, part of Volume 3 is dedicated to attempts to pinpoint the people and places of Exodus, and there is much sadness throughout the series at the roles poverty, looting, and tourism have played in the loss of the archaeological record.

So, while the series isn't entirely perfect, as I've mentioned, I find it difficult to imagine anything better, and these books feel much more complete, accurate, and grounded than a lot of the more popular histories I've come across (Egyptian or otherwise). Romer talks about craftspeople at least as much as priests and royals; blends hard dates and names with social history, geography, and historical climate studies; lays out massive amounts of information without being muddy or overwhelming; is committed to pointing out the flaws of the founders of his field; and humanizes his ancient subjects when it's possible to do so. It's masterful and impressive and clearly the result of a life's work. I want more people to read it, Egypt buffs or not. Some of Romer's points about what's knowable have stuck with me since Volume 1, which at this point is a decade ago, and this has become one of those histories I compare others to.

I sadly suspect this is the end of the series, but if it isn't, I'll be excitedly reading Volume 4 as soon as I can get my hands on it!

[shai-manahan]

Hollowed Minds Progress Update 1/02/24

Hi! I hope you're all having a good year so far! I planned to post this last night but I was too anxious over having to return to work lmfao (with the holidays being over and all). Anyway, I know it's been a year since my last update; believe me, I'm upset about it, too, and I'm trying to make up for that.

To be completely honest, aside from my health, one thing that's been stopping me from progressing steadily was my attempts at improving the way I write. I was struggling to find my own style the entire year, experimenting over and over (sometimes without rest, like an idiot), and I know that probably sounds stupid, but writing as a craft is so special to me that I want to be better at it.

It did backfire, though. A lot. Mostly because I couldn't maintain a balance between this and irl stuff.

The thing is, I plan to write trad novels and short stories in the future. I plan to go back to writing screenplays, too. I don't think I'll ever stop making IFs, but there are things I want to write about that I can never do through this medium (and the same is true vice versa). This is also why I tend to keep editing HM while trying to push through with newer updates; this is the only way I can learn more about what I wish to do in the future. This is my chance to practice and experiment, before I get anything published and make the kind of impression I aim to make.

And I think I finally found the style I love to use the most this time.

I feel ready now to post progress updates regularly at least every two weeks (this one doesn't count). I was ashamed of my slow progress for quite a while, but I know I can start moving forward again. I'm also just eager to show you the story I've always wanted to share, and that'd never happen unless I push myself so :').

You're free to ask for progress in case I miss doing this btw, just. don't be an ass about it lmao. And feel free to send asks as well!

So far, this is what I'm trying to improve for the posted demo:

conciseness

strengthening the settings and the descriptions involving them

revising a few dialogues that do not fit the characters at all

readability and making some details clearer

overall pacing of ch2's first part

the nightmare scenes

reassessment of which variations would be most important to the plot and MC's characterization.

everything else I cannot think of right now

I think I'll dedicate a week or two into finishing whatever needs to be cleaned up so there'll be less game-breaking bugs that might happen for the new content. But after that 👀

That's all for tonight!

P.S. recently bought a lampshade and damn. this is definitely much better for my eyes when I write.

[emotionallychargedtowel]

Intense Subtext in Front of Oblivious Side Characters: "I had no wife in the year six"

There's a thing, I guess it would be considered a trope, that is one of my favorite such things in any form of media but especially any sort of romance-centered story. I don't know of an existing term for this and I'm terrible at being concise so I'm not sure how I could put it briefly. Basically, it's the thing that happens when a larger interaction is happening with a group of people but there's a subtext to it that means something very different--and generally, much more meaningful--to the central characters. You could call it something like Intense Subtext in Front of Oblivious Side Characters.

I've been thinking for a while about possible parallels between BLs and Jane Austen novels and/or adaptations. This is my attempt at taking a small, specific example of a parallel I sometimes notice and talking about it. Austen's novels do a lot of this trope I mentioned. That's in part because of choices Austen made in what she wanted to write about. But it's also because of the social context of her time. There was a lot going on that people couldn't be explicit about, for a variety of reasons. I think one reason why I see similar things happening in some BLs--and maybe one reason for the appeal of certain types of BLs--is the fact that being queer in a homophobic society makes openness complicated in a way that doesn't come up as much for hetero relationships these days. Especially when we get into things like office romances, in which appearances have higher stakes. These complications around openness have a kind of similarity to the reasons Austen's characters had to play a lot of things close to the chest.

Fellow Old Fashion Cupcake fans will remember an example from that series that I think really fits here. Nozue and Togawa agree to attend a goukon, or "mixer" as it's sometimes translated--basically a group hangout intended to help men and women meet for the purpose of finding people to date. Nozue is hitting it off with a cute younger woman, which is bad enough. But then he mentions his "anti-aging" efforts, and because of the mysterious way he words it, the woman asks, "Does that mean you're in love?" which of course catches Togawa's attention even more. He's clearly affected when Nozue answers, "If I were, I wouldn't be here."

@jdramastuff did a great screenshot post of this scene if you want to see what this looked like.

After Nozue's comment, Togawa starts knocking back alcoholic drinks like it's going out of style, ensuring that Nozue will have to help him home instead of going home with the woman who's been flirting with him.

(You could argue that this isn't so much a case of subtext as it is the significance one person assigns to what another is saying. Subtext really requires some degree of communication between more than one person. But while Nozue doesn't fully grasp what's going on, I think he does understand in some ways what he's communicating. I don't want to go on too much of a tangent, so I'll just say that having just read the manga the series was based on, it strengthened my belief that while Nozue is repressed, insecure, even deluded at times, he has glimmers of awareness of his feelings for Togawa and even suspicions of Togawa's feelings for him, and on some level he knows what he's saying, though I don't think he knows in this moment how much these words will hurt Togawa.)

I have another favorite example of this, a scene from Persuasion. It's rendered really well in the 1995 adaptation of the novel with Ciaran Hinds and Amanda Root. (The whole thing is phenomenal, by the way--I think it's the best Austen adaptation ever made, personally.)

A bit of background for anyone not familiar with the story: Anne Elliott was engaged to Captain Frederick Wentworth in 1806 but was convinced by Lady Russell, her neighbor/family friend and a kind of surrogate mother to her following her mom's death, to break off the engagement. She has regretted it ever since. Wentworth was deeply hurt and angry when she broke things off, not surprisingly.

More than eight years later, Anne is visiting her sister and her sister's in-laws, the Musgroves, when Wentworth comes to the area and starts spending a lot of time at the Musgrove place (and with the Musgroves' eligible young daughters). Wentworth acknowledges Anne, but just barely, while paying enough attention to both the Musgrove girls that everyone is gossiping about which one he's going to marry. Anne's sister Mary was away at boarding school when her previous relationship with Wentworth happened, so neither Mary nor the Musgroves are aware Anne and Wentworth were involved and think they were only acquaintances.

At a dinner party, the Musgrove girls try to look up the ship that Wentworth first commanded, the Asp, in the Navy List, a book that chronicles the various ships in the British Navy, their commanders, and so forth. Wentworth tells them not to bother--"she" is not in the current version of the List because "she" no longer exists.

Louisa and Henrietta Musgrove are suitably horrified.

Admiral Croft, Wentworth's brother-in-law and superior in the Navy, remarks that Wentworth was lucky to get a command so early in his career at all, no matter how seaworthy (or un-seaworthy) the ship was.

(Remember, 1806 was the year that Anne and Wentworth became engaged and then un-engaged.)

Gut-wrenching. And nobody else sitting at that table has any idea what just happened. I love it.

I have some more thoughts about this languishing in an excessively long post in my drafts, which I'll try to get out one of these days. I know I've talked to a few people about trying to do some BL/Austen posts and had meant to tag them but the only person I remember talking with about it was @absolutebl. If you're reading this and you want a heads up next time I write about this stuff, let me know!