#I just cant put words to it yet

[sunnibits]

“clean yourself up and come find me, we have much work to do” vs. “clean up your own fucking mess, I’m not doing it, been doing it all my fucking life”

two different scenes of Ed visiting a very vulnerable Izzy in bed… very different dynamics in both………

do you get it…. do you understand me……..

[rbtlvr]

(text from this post, fic is little kid with a big death wish by @remedyturtles)

i'm genuinely not sure where to start here - ig first of all this fic is absolutely incredible and if you somehow haven't read it yet you absolutely should!

okay. man. rem, this fic means so so much to me and i'm so glad i got to be here for it. i think this is one of those fics that'll stick with me years down the line even if one day i'm not into tmnt anymore, one i'll come back to over and over again

your writing has touched so so many people myself very much included, and i just. want to thank you so much for writing this fic and thank you for sharing it. you're an amazing writer and an amazing person and i'm lucky to know you. i can't wait to see what you do next

[generalsdiary]

remember this message from aventurine?

yeah, so I wrote that scene.

To Aventurine's luck, he was rescued from the Nihility, the end, by a knight of Beauty. How lucky… He lives to see another day. Another assignment, another project, another trip which will all get blurred in a haze, memories merging together like melted crayons his mind too blurry if he ever even tried to recall.

A single drop of water slithered down his back under his satin shirt. His face was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, trembling, hands shaking with terror mirrored in his wide open eyes. The hill of his throat bopping as he gasps for air. The sheets felt too heavy, too warm, too suffocating. Another night he woke up drenched in sweat. Another nightmare where the air left his lungs, he was alone, they weren’t there, no peace of death, no calm embrace of sins forgiven and a new life beginning. The air scratched against his throat, rose thorns dragging along the sides of his windpipe poisoning his vocal cords, his words dying there before they could be vocalized in yelps, wails, or even pleadings. His chest rises and falls down in weak attempts to make his heart calm down, to stop it from jumping out of his chest and making him less of a human than he already thinks he is. Red crescent moons scattered inside his palms are sending aching pain to his nerve’s ends, he stares forward, he doesn’t pay them much mind- he cannot, the pain could ground him but he is too out of it. out of his mind, out of his body, desperately clutching onto the sheets, the branches of this existence, of this reality. Palms sweaty with the ending of the nightmare still trapped in his tense hands, the bitter taste on his tongue the flavor of nihility. The eyes that glow in the dark, that he would’ve sold in his past if it got him something… money? freedom? If such a thing even exists. Those same eyes like boiling water overflowing and, with salt and regret fall down the hills of his cheeks. He cannot control them, the tears, it is his body’s weak attempt at regulating his emotions. He has been running, every gamble, every manipulation, every flashy smile… it is him running from his past and back to it. his legs would give out underneath him if he was standing, knees too weak, feet too swollen, burning him up from inside. Settling more in the now, he feels the guilt dripping off his teeth, snake toxin that colors each of his smiles and paints his every pretty praise… did he truly do it just to see his family once more? throwing it all away for that… what would they think of him provoking an emanator, throwing this precious life away for the ones who have passed on? anger. White, hot anger, he regrets it. they wouldn’t- he never should’ve done it. they would want their little boy to persevere. to continue on. to stop gambling his own life. what is he worth if he won’t wager that of which has little matter to him? what blatant lies… the one who does not care for his life doesn’t clutch his chips in his hand for dear life. sadness. The ends of his hair stick to the back of his neck like ropes and chains that once bound him. or perhaps strings with which he is controlled. No one controls him. or perhaps this… glamourous, extravagant persona of Aventurine does. He needs to make a change. Cut the strings, control his own body, his choices, he can do better, he will do better… maybe he will dare to want to do better… in regards to himself. the various nightmares that keep his nights restless and his body frail keep coming, he exhales a heavy breath hoping, praying, that this is the last one. that this never-ending torment will end. Now his back aches from sitting up like so, or is it the weight of his job and his curse the ones which make it bend so? He has betrayed himself every day. putting the flamboyant clothes on and wearing it like a clown suit, parading around… except if someone gets close enough and sees the little Kakavasha hidden deep, far inside.

Sheets rustle behind him, grounding him even more in the present, anchoring him further in his body and out of the darkness of his dreams. “another one?” the baritone voice quietly asks, strong arms embracing his torso and his hand clutched onto them for… dear life. a hand presses against his damp forehead, seemingly checking his temperature. The thick, swallowing, dooming silence now cut with breathing of another that came to his awareness. Another set of ribs expanding and contracting against his own. A heart beating, pumping blood in rhythm with his. “I will draw us a bath.” The arms threaten to move away, and Aventurine grips them tightly refusing to let go, he turns back facing the man his eyes pleading, begging him to not go. “Veritas…” the man’s eyelashes flutter a few times before the indigo hair moves with a nod. “I’m here, Kakavasha. Right here. We will go together.”

[rapidhighway]

in every fandom im in, i always reach the inevitable point where i make an au that would greatly benefit from me reading the divine comedy. every time. alas, i am lazy

[lightbulb-warning]

i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself

[boabel]

rewatching tua s1 bc i can't sleep and oh my gof i have so many thoughts. how could they butcher this absolute masterpiece of a show so damn badly.

[sophistired18]

No one talk to me. I fell in love.

[potatofu-art]

SO THAT SECOND ACT OF SEASON 2

[starscr0ss]

i actually have a hard time understanding childe's character and is mostly because of other people's takes + im like so scared of mischaracterizing him

[imketchup]

This is what I spent my night doing instead of sleeping... :| ig I gotta get that college portfolio done somehow...

[tronlightcyclerun]

being kin is like everything is wrong forever and ever and you can never tell anyone about it because they either wont understand or believe you or wont know what youre talking about and you can never go back !!!!! and you have to watch everyone else finding people they knew and itll never happen to you !!! and it feels Cringe and Bad that this is what dictates your entire mental state so you can never have a useful conversation about mental health with anyone because they arent talking to all of you they only want to know about things that happened /here/ and maybe it would be better if i didnt know that i was actually supposed to be someone else !!!and it seems to get me so much worse because im ********** about it so even compared to other kin it feels like im just being a dramatic bitch

[wortsandall]

i have so many thoughts on mtme #27 and chromedome and prowl and i fear i am severely late to the party

[dream-sans-mogai]

This will probably get looks from performative and ultimately harmful non-transfems despite my being transfem but-

Some y'alls only interaction with feminist history and theories, radical feminism regardless of its intersectionality and really any feminism deeper and louder and meaner than blatant choice feminism like the barbie movie and whatever TF taylor swift thinks shes got going on is through your occasional and short interactions with terfs and it shows. You call vagina art terfy and it fucking isnt. Its feminist art. Your brainrot is making you a fucking mra. The fact y'all think talking about the man vs bear situation is about/started/ran by terfs (and encouraged some really questionable other transfems shitting on it despite it clearly just being about women's safety and yes all men, not transphobia.), everything from questioning wether certain groups belong in our community to thinking a word is a slur or having a lesbian icon (I have sources don't test me) or not to not liking a certain band has been called "terf rhetoric". I'm all for us Transmascs talking about how terfs affect us cause they absolutely do and their harm to the transmasc community can not be understated but like.... Y'all are not allowed to call Jack shit terf rhetoric anymore. Like nothing. You don't know what it means, you litterally call transmedicalism and sysmedicalism terf rhetoric. Do you mean exclusionist? Say exclusionist. Terfs are not the end all be all hate group. They have a very specific complex mindset that affects so many people in specific ways. Someone hating Neopronouns is not fucking terf rhetoric. It's nbphobia. Holy fuck. Learn what words mean.

(intersectional trans radfems exist, radical feminism isn't terfs and swerfs and historical radfems would laugh in their faces for their idiocy)

[fantaatix]

it's virgo season

you know what that means. this is the best excuse to talk about the little Shithead which i do every other month anyways

you ever notice the little musical notation details on moxxie's guns?

bass and treble clef, staff sniper rifle, and then his signature handgun. (forgive me if i get the guns wrong i know more about music than i do weapons)

and also everywhere in their apartment. the wallpaper covered in musical notes, cats, phantom of the opera, and hello dolly posters hung on the wall, his fucken tote bag???

and i don't even know what these ones are!

also this is either an animation error or he's ambidextrous????!!!?!?!

how in the fuck?? who has the time to learn that?????? like it's not even the fact that he's ambidextrous, it's the fact he took the time to,, hold on let me just sum this up for you

this is a standard guitar. it has standard tuning (E-A-D-G-b-e) with six strings. moxxie is also using a guitar strap so he doesn't, y'know, drop it every time he strums but lets just take a look real quick

so this is how right handed people play the guitar, right? this is how he plays the intro to House of Asmodeus and also after fizz and ozz show him how it's done in the club

this is what it looks like when moxxie is playing left handed at the very end of the song:

so what's the point? it's just the exact opposite, right?

ERRRRRRRRR LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER

YOU'RE WRONG

it is NOT the exact same because this is what the chords look like and if you tried mirroring them you'd embarrass yourself even harder because it'd sound like shit AND you'd still be singing too lovey dovey for the club

the x means the string is "muted", the bar means it's one finger across the fretboard, and the numbered dots are finger placement

these are simple enough playing right hand but if you wanted to play left handed for some reason (maybe royalty embarrasses you and your wife onstage during your anniversary because you forgot to abide by the rules of the club) you'd either a), have to do finger gymnastics, or b) learn where/how to place your fingers, which is the same thing and also would not be surprising for moxxie to know how to do if music is his whole thing. aside from weapons, obviously.

i can ignore ambidexterity, i can ignore switching hands mid-song, but i will not ignore the fucking muscle memory on this dude. how far in advance did he practice this song. who the fuck has the time to learn these six chords on BOTH hands and play them well????

especially with only three fucking freakass phalanges at his disposal which is One less than average

AND THEN HE ADDS IN AN EXTRA CHORD JUST TO SHOW OFF!!!

WHICH LOOKS LIKE THIS!!!

quite a feat for a four-fingered fellow. cunt. i love him

guitar diagram brought to you by me and discord whiteboard

[spacedlexi]

Would love to hear u talk more about Clem and Minnie mirroring one another if u haven’t already 🦅

i have Not >:) cracks knuckles

talking about minnie can be hard since she Really only exists in eps 3 and 4. eps 1 and 2 keep the twins pretty mysterious we only learn a few things about them. i think the most important thing we know about them tho is that they (or at least minnie) provided a sense of relief for the ericson kids. tenn saying how minnie would sing them "dont be afraid" when they were feeling scared. i think its safe to assume she wrote the song Specifically to have a way to make the other kids feel better when things were rough

when the twins die the kids lose this emotional support and we can tell its been hard on all of them (some more than others). but then in comes clementine. our girl whos been carrying the "light in the darkness" motif since season 1. and although she got that shit a little dirty in seasons 2 and 3 (ava going off in s3 about how clem and aj are light and hope and shit so we're still supposed to see it (and recognize that clem has become so Dark in s3 without aj)), she got her light back when she got aj back and she'll die protecting him

clem (and aj) fall very quickly into the hole the twins left. now its clem who makes them feel safe. first with finding them food then protecting them against the raiders ("youre our savior clem" "we were more scared than we let on when you met us. you made that go away"). its not an accident theyre put up in the twins room. and with the way violet grabs the frame and looks at it sadly we can even assume clem sleeps in minnies old bed (also the old torn down paintings seem to only be on ajs side of the room and hes got his whole "i wanna be an artist too" thing going on). clem has unintentionally taken on minnies old role of making the kids feel safe and reassured

then we finally meet minnie. and based on how the others described her there is definitely a piece of herself that shes lost (that shes killed). her light is gone now. and although her motivations have been warped, they remain the same. i do genuinely believe she is still trying to protect the ericson kids and do whats best for them, but just in the only way she thinks she can to stop more people from dying. she might even think the pros of living with the delta are worth the cons. clementine is the one teaching them to fight back but minnie knows from experience that fighting back just gets you killed, so she feels like if she can just stop clementine then everything will be fine ("youre the FUCKING problem here" "i wont let you get them all killed" and she does seem genuinely concerned if clem and vi are fighting in the cell. and obviously we know she doesnt want anything to happen to tenn). both minnie and clem want to protect the ericson kids they just have conflicting opinions about which is the right way to do it. but minnie Does show her ass when she ends her "if you just do what they say you can live" speech with "you can be rewarded just like i am" 👀 oh girl... she didnt just give up she gave in. killing sophie was her breaking point and i really wish we knew more about how that scene went down outside of lillys dramatic retelling i would like to see it objectively please. but based on the way lilly tells it, minnie (im sure begrudgingly) accepted her place at the delta before it even came to that, and was probably just pulled along by sophie when she tried to escape. which is probably why (im assuming) lilly gave her the choice to kill sophie to stay with the delta (her New family), and she did... she kills a piece of herself when she does this (only compounded by the twin imagery), and i think her seeing clem fight back reminds her of sophie and brings all those feelings to the surface. and if she can just kill clem everything will be ok, cuz it worked last time....

minnie singing "dont be afraid" when attacking them on the bridge. a song that once brought them peace now being used to herald death. but since she approaches already singing it she was probably singing it to soothe herself as she succumbs to her bite, walking away from the wreckage she blames on clem, her delta family dead (she Did care about them in a fucked up way), using a herd of walkers against them the same way clem used a herd of walkers to attack the boat. all minnie cares about at this point is finding tenn, and she does, and shes gonna take him with her. just like clem looking for aj, finding him, and taking him. but where clem would die to protect aj, minnie wants to kill tenn to take him "home" with her. add to this ajs feelings about ending up alone without clem and wanting to be walkers together if it came to it. this is why tenn dying on the bridge feels narratively fulfilling to me even tho i hate it 😭 tenn wants to be with minnie (and sophie and their parents) and death doesnt scare him. it kinda comforts him. him and minnie dying together here is like the dark fate clem and aj barely avoid

and then vi fitting into this as she became tenns caretaker after the twins left. she also wants whats best for him so her and minerva fighting at the end for tenn is interesting. especially since violet (and louis but he wasnt tenns caretaker the way vi was) can die throwing him over the gap. i like the layers violet adds to being in the bridge scene, and it makes it even more sad when she cant protect him because thats all shes been trying to do since before clem and aj even showed up. plus aj shooting tenn puts violet in a similar position to louis in regards to marlons death

i really love the ways violets route adds to all the minnie and tenn stuff. and the way we can see clems influence change her. how a saved violet is ready to fight with clem but a kidnapped violet believes in minnies goals and thinks giving up is the safest plan for everyone. because regardless if you save her or not violet ALSO wants to keep the ericson kids safe and just doesnt know the best way to do it. clem encourages violet to step up and minnie encourages violet to give up (warping her character growth which is why i cant Not save her 😭 and the betrayal of it all). using violet as a common denominator is another way to differentiate between clem and minnie. then throw the romance on top of that.... you can see why i get a little...Sillay.. this is ALSO why i dont like vinerva in any romantic capacity post the events of ep3 and why i love seeing vi with clem. its what they each encourage in her. minnies weakness, clems strength.... why seeing vi and minnie fight clem makes me want to cry but seeing clem and vi fight minnie makes me jump off the walls LETS GOOO

and i havent even talked about lilly yet.... how if lee took lilly up on her offer in S1 about stealing the RV together clem couldve ended up in her custody.... i definitely believe clem looks at minnie and sees some broken scared part of herself in there. she is Fiercely Loyal and would do anything for her family so if she was raised (or broken) in that environment (and it seems very "ends justify the means" with the delta as it sounds like its actually pretty good over there if you can look past the intimidation and torture and kidnapping) i could definitely see her being the one standing behind lilly in some other universe. its what lilly still tries to do with her but its too late (and so lilly tries it with aj instead which is still a way to get to clem). but clems grown now and shes been making her own choices for a long time. shes already been through this with the new frontier (and hell even with carver at howes). she'd die before she gave in. and minnie made the choice to kill her sister to save herself

even with the little info we actually have on minnie she still works pretty well as a foil to clem. this is why i find it easier to talk about minnie when comparing her to clem like i feel like its her main purpose. i feel like theres still more i could say its just eluding me. its not a coincidence that minnie almost takes clem down with her in the end. why shes the reason clems able to get bit. minnie blames clem for her own demise and she's gonna get in one last fuck you. and minnies fate is one clem is desperately trying to avoid. kinda 👀 to be taken down by your narrative foil

[comas-are-for-sleeping]

anyway do u think deadpool and wolverine is on streaming yet i need to find that on a totally legal website soon

as of saturday night IT IS NOT !!! which sucks and they lied

i know it is on the totally legal website soaper.tv or whatever its called ;)

ok coming back to here after writing all the tags thirty tag limit?? that is wild to me i didnt know that existed