#I just can't I can't let people of my life know that I want to throw up just thinking it
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thealchemistbae · 3 days ago
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Random Astro Observations 🚀⭐
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Disclaimer: This post is for entertainment purposes only.
thealchemistbae © do not copy, redistribute, or edit my content.
If you enjoyed this post, you can leave me a tip via PayPal at [email protected] or via Venmo @goddessguapa. Thank you.
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🚀: People with Venus at 23° or 29° tend to have "iconic" beauty that gets more legendary with age. 23° brings an edge (think unforgettable features), while 29° gives them an almost fated aesthetic that people try to imitate but never quite get right.
🚀: Mercury in 8H natives can literally read minds. They don't hear what you say...they hear what you don't say. These are the people who catch on to the subtext and hidden intentions behind every conversation.
🚀: Mars in 12H (especially in a fire sign) can struggle with repressed anger, but once they unlock their assertiveness, they become unstoppable. They often have dreams where they're fighting, running, or winning in ways they can't in real life (yet).
🚀: Neptune in 5H people are the definition of "method acting" in their own lives. They don't just experience emotions...they become them. Their childhood fantasies and imaginary worlds were so real to them that sometimes they still feel like they live in a dream.
🚀: Jupiter in 3H natives might be the fastest learners you'll ever meet. They could pick up a new language in months, teach themselves a skill overnight, or randomly know a ridiculous amount of fun facts about everything.
🚀: Pluto in 4H (or conjunct IC) people go through deep transformations in their home life. Their childhood could've felt like a survival mission, but as adults, they build a home environment that is entirely theirs...even if they have to burn everything down to start over.
🚀: Saturn in 2H isn't just about struggling with money...it's about mastering it. These people often feel like they're "always working", but once they learn the system, they become undeniable in wealth building. A slow start, but when they win, they win big.
🚀: People with their Midheaven ruler in 12H often have an "invisible" reputation. People know of them, but not about them. They might be mysterious public figures or work behind the scenes in a way that makes them way more powerful than they seem.
🚀: Venus sextile or trine Neptune people are living in their own love story. Their romantic ideals are so strong they often manifest exactly what they want in love...whether that's good or bad. These are the people who say "I dreamed about my soulmate before I met them" and actually mean it.
🚀: Uranus in 6H makes people allergic to routine. The moment their daily life feels predictable, something unexpected happens. These people thrive when they create their own work schedules and often attract jobs that are unstable or ever changing.
🚀: Chiron in 10H natives may go through public failures before they get the recognition they deserve. Their career path hurts before it heals, but once they embrace their unique purpose, they become living proof that setbacks don't define you.
🚀: Asteroid Fama (408) in 1H or 10H = someone who was born to be talked about. Even when they're not trying, people notice them, their name randomly pops up in conversations, on social media, or in circles they didn't even know existed.
Do you have any of these placements? Let me know below.
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thealchemistbae © do not copy, redistribute, or edit my content.
I’m sure there is more but honestly this is all I have for now. Enjoy ⚡️
If you enjoyed this post, you can leave me a tip via PayPal at [email protected] or via Venmo @goddessguapa. Thank you.
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currentlysleepingus · 3 days ago
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I'm bored
let's make damian and danny have a mortician and gomez type of love.
Let's let danny be a known sought-after goth who everyone knows has a broken regeneration ability but can't prove it because he lets himself scar and can control when and where he regenerates. He wears stelletos and other heals and has a variety of weapons on him. People think he's a vampire, and he normally hangs out at the cemetery and such. He's a nightingale in this au, and the nightingales are the Addams family. Damian is smitten. Danny and him are in high school, Gotham Academy, and danny gets into fights with him a lot. They spar past first blood drawn and damian respects that. Let's make it enemies to weirdly stalker friends to lovers. They both partake in this, damian gets people, maybe tim, to dig stuff up on him and danny asks the dead about him.
Anyway, fast forward to them flirting and trying to court each other. Let's just say Gotham is terrified and happy for damian to have finally met his match. Danny once, during a galla slides in and, with his heart pulled visibly out of his chest resting inside a bunch of flowers asks damian to take what's his( his hearts) damian obliges and takes the flowers ripping Danny's heart out. Danny then gets up, he's taller than damian, and takes off his bloody shirt and courset and changes in front of him and asks him to go to dinner with his family. Danny doesn't button the top buttons of his shirt, leaving his chest out with the now gaping hile that isn't bleeding outta and tightens his courset. He tells damian that the food has a tendency to come alive, so he's going to have to impale it and kill it to eat it. Before he gets an answer, he takes a quill out of his pocket and stabs his arm, and then takes damians other hand to write out the date and address. And then waves goodbye, and while he's walking towards the window to jump out, he tells him to bring a vial of his blood so he can wear it. He leaves, and damien looks back at Danny's heart, opens it, and pulls out a necklace that has a vial of Danny's blood on it. He's smitten turns toward his horrified family and very proud Jason and says he's going.
Danny and damian give each other the heads of their enemies and wear each other's stuff. What if Danny's wedding courting includes fighting the father of your lover if their taking your last name. Like it could be in anything way the father chooses. I'm just imagining damain telling danny that he's taking his last name and Danny's like bet but you have to beat up my 'dad'( in this case imma make it his guardian aka the eldest male Dan) and danny wants to fight batman so he proposes that he challenges his father and damians like as you wish whoever wins gets to keep their last name.
Phantoms still a criminal and their both aware of the others hero identity but hasn't said anything. Please I want them to flirt in the weirdest ways.
Would Tailia approve of him?
The batfam are VERY concerned and wary of Danny and damians' relationship. Jason feels like he's watching a dark romance novel come to life and is here for it.
Please, I want danny eventually telling damian about being half ghost, and he then goes on to ask all of Danny's ghost friends and mentors on how to properly care and court him. They are ecstatic to teach him.
Anger management can also be in here. They like that but in more subtle ways.
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heeaara · 2 days ago
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박종성 ──────ANOMALY.
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RELATiVE : no matter how hard you both tried, it wasn't just meant to be.
iNDEX : 。。 park jongseong + 𝑓.reader ⟡ wc1.7k, cw 𓂃 relationship, skinship, petnames, violence, mentions of blood, accident, death ? overall full on angst ♡.
아라 : my first angst fanfic, for those who had lost their loved ones, this ones for you. People come and people go, what important is that you cherish and treasure the moments you had spent with them.
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You flinch slightly as you hear a knock on your window. It was past midnight, you were lying in your bed, wide awake, as many thoughts and feelings ran through your mind about the events that were programmed for tomorrow. tomorrow was a very big day for you, not only for you but someone you loved and held dearly. you sigh as you arise from your bed, going towards the window, opening it, letting in your soon to be husband.
Yes, tomorrow was a great day, tomorrow was yours and park jongseong's wedding day, tomorrow you were finally and officially going to be committed to the love of your life, to the man of your dreams, to the one you went through so much with. but, yet, you had this weird . . lingering feeling which you didn't like, instead of feeling ecstatic, you felt almost painfully sad, as if something horrible was to happen tomorrow.
A small sigh leaves your lips as jay wraps his arms around you softly. you aim to shake off this weird feeling as you snuggle into his neck, your favorite spot where you always seek to find warmth and comfort. 
"shouldn't you be sleeping ?" he asks softly as he chuckles, placing a soft feathery kiss on top of your head as you snuggle more into him. "no, can't sleep." you mumble against his neck as you close your eyes feeling assured of his presence.  "and why is that princess ? too excited for tomorrow are we ?" he states in a glee. you pull your head away from his neck, your arms still wrapped around his waist as you look up into his eyes. He looks down, back at you softly as a wave of emotions run through you, all those weird, unknown, miserable feelings coming back to your heart and mind. You look away, not being able the cope up with your emotions and you didn't want him to be worried as you knew how well he took care of you and how good he was at sensing when something wasn't right.
"Look at me." jay whispers, pulling you a little close as you glance at him, his eyes looking right into yours, trying to search for answers. "What happened baby ?" he asks softly as he holds your cheek, his thumb grazing it in a gesture of comfort. "I ━ its nothing." you mumble.
"Then why are you not looking at me?" he asks softly.
You look at him, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. He looks right into your eyes, searching for answers. "you know i'm always here for you right?" he states and, that was it. That was the final straw as finally, a sob leaves your lips. Jay quickly wraps his arms around you, your head buried into his crook. You hug him tighter as he whispers words of comfort, he hated seeing you cry, he hated every single atom that had hurt you. 
Time passes, your cries slow down as jay runs a had through your back, whispering words of comfort, trying all kinds of ways to ease you.
You slowly pull out of his neck, looking up at him. " I'm sorry." you whisper as you gaze at his soaked shirt, filled with your tears.
"Oh come on baby, You'd throw a whole tub of water and I wouldn't complain." he remarks as a breathy laugh leaves his lips. You lightly slap his chest as a small chuckle escapes your lips as well. 
"Now, my pretty girl, will you please tell me what happened hm?" He calls on. You look at him as a sigh escapes your lips. "We should go to sleep." You say as you pull yourself out of his grip and guide him towards the bed. "Hey, but ━ ".
You cut him off "cuddles please." 
"I can't say no to you, can I?" he remarks as he gets on the bed next to you, engulfing you by his arms. You both keep laying down as his hands involuntarily runs through your hair.
"I ━ it's just surreal." You say quietly. Jay hums as you continue, "We have gone through so much, no way it's been 6 years since us dating and now, finally we are engaged and will get married soon." 
"Yeah". he whispers. "I never knew this day would actually come, considering how much ━ just happened. Its just overwhelming, we went through so many breakups, had so many fights, cried together, laughed together. We have made so many memories, and I can't believe the fact that we will make so much more as well." You sniff, your voice raw with deep emotions.
"With our kids too." Jay says smiling ear to ear, earning a chuckle from you.
He cups your face with his one hand as he looks into your eyes, his gaze moving down to your lips as he slowly starts to lean in.
"I love you." he whispers right next to your lips.
"I love you too." You reply, closing your eyes and you felt it, you felt his lips perfectly molding into yours. He kisses you softly yet passionately, he hovers on top of you and You return the same passion by encircling your hands around his neck. And, without you even realizing, some tears fall from your eyes during the kiss. You did not know why were you crying, you had no idea you actually were and why exactly. Kisses with him had always felt safe, yet filled with love but this time, this kiss, felt as if it's the last time, you did not know what was going on, you had no idea why were you feeling like this. 
He kisses you harder as he hovers over you and slowly and gradually it turns into a steamy session, everything feeling hot, his hands running through your body, your heart beating fast.
And that's how the night passed, with you in his arms, sharing love through the night. You both knew you both loved each other a lot and everything just felt overwhelming and emotional to you.
──── 030125.
You looked at yourself in the mirror for the one last time till you exit the hair salon. Today was finally the day, the day you and jay had to make promises to each other. You felt nervous yet excited, you had dreamed of this day since you were a child. You wearing a white bride gown, A vile covering your face with the man of your dreams in front of you, the both of you taking your vows.
You get escorted by one of your maids, to the wedding car you would be going in, to the venue where your wedding was to be held. 
One the other side, jay had been anxiously waiting for your arrival. He kept checking his watch, the clock ticking second by second without any signs of you showing up. He was getting restless, his hands were feeling sloppy and moist due to sweat that came with the nervousness. He was perfectly dressed into a perfect black tailored tuxedo, his hair perfectly done.
tick.tick.tick, time passing by.
Where is she? he thinks to himself, why is the time going so fast? The guests were waiting, the priest was waiting, he was waiting, everyone were waiting, for you to arrive.
His thoughts get interrupted by a call on his phone, his feeling giddy, he had a bad feeling about this, he thought to himself. With slightly shaky hands, he pics up his phone, attaching it to his ear, "h-hello?" 
"hello, is this park jongseong speaking?" the other side said, an unknown number, "yes, its me." He replies, his chest feeling congested for some reason, an unknown ache filling his heart. 
"I am sorry to inform you that kim y/n has gotten into a severe car accident, she has been established to the hospital please reach up."
car accident. car accident. car accident. his mind kept repeating.
the phone fell off jay's hand as his mind goes numb, blank. The place around him moving in circles, his eyes blurry. His friends called him out, shook him, shouted out at him to tell them what happened. All he could do was stare at their face blanky, his throat felt as if clawed with chains, and his heart? it was about to die.
tick. tick. tick. time passing by.
He finally reached the hospital, where you were. His hair messy, his mind numb, his face soaked with tear stains and his perfectly tailored tuxedo? turned into a wreck. His friends where there, his parents were there, your parents were there, his world upside down, his heart filled with an unbearable ache.
he covered his face with his palms as he takes a seat on one of the steel benches in the waiting, his friends asking the doctors where you were, the whole place was a chaos.
His friends comforted him when jake and heeseung, who had been discussing your situation with the doctor came back, their faces pale, their hearts filled with deep sorrow and grieve.
"jongseong. ." heeseung mumbles as he looked down at jay who had covered his face with his hands. jay look up at him startled as he gets up immediately, bombarding them with questions, "y/n, my love, where's y/n, what did the doctors say? is she okay ━ heeseung hyung?" heeseung looks down, unable to face jay as he says, "we're sorry, jongseong.", controlling his sobs and tears as well.
Jay tries to move past the boys, trying to go to the doctor, his face full of panick "huh? fuck you mean? y/n ━ she's okay i know she's okay, we're getting married today━", jake had no other choice but to stop him, his hands moving towards his shoulders, moving him backwards. "y ━ y/n, she's . . no more", jake says as he sniffles, holding jay by the shoulder, a slight sob escaping heeseung's lips.
"YOU BASTARD." jay screams as he gets a hold of jake's collars "YOU'RE LYING TO ME, LYING TO MY FACE LIKE THAT, Y/N PROMISED ME SHE'LL NEVER LEAVE ME, MY Y/N WILL NEVER LEAVE ME, YOU MOTHERFUCKER." he shrieks, giving jake jerks as he hold his collars, his eyes wide, his face blank, his heart slain.
Heeseung tries to break free jay's grip from jake, "JONGSEONG CONTROL YOURSELF !" heeseung shouts.
Jay violently leaves jake's collars giving him a push, as he stumbles, his eyes wide, the world around him moving into circles, "y/n-ah. . ." he whispers her name, what was going on? Was this some kind of a joke? Was this a nightmare?
An unbelievable, hoarse chuckle leaves his throat as jay laughs, running a hand through his face, when gradually, his laugh turns into violent sobs.
Jake immediately hugs him, giving his friend a shoulder to cry on, a shoulder to take off his sorrows. This world was indeed a cruel place.
"take me t ━ to her, take me to my y/n, PLEASE, I SAID FUCKING TAKE ME TO MY Y/N" he sobs uncontrollably, not believing what his friends were saying. Everything was okay till yesterday, his life was going smooth and, in a matter of seconds? his life crashed down in front of his very eyes. He was helpless, so fucking helpless, his agony unendurable.
──── .
Silence, complete silence, no sound of breathing, nothing, only the faint smell of blood and moist is all he could feel as he entered the room. His face was red, his eyes were bloodshot due to the amount of crying he did. Why was life so unfair to him?
He takes slow yet small steps, his breath caught in his throat, his body shivering due to the impact of what he's going through. He takes slow, shaky steps towards the bed, where the lifeless body was placed, covered with white fabric completely over it.
His hands were shaking, his body was shaking.
Please don't be y/n, Please don't be y/n, Please don't be y/n, please wake me up from this nightmare. he kept thinking.
He slowly reaches his hands towards the white fabric, with shaky hands, languidly sliding off the fabric, his breath stuck in.
He forgot, he forgot breathing. His heart stopped, it had stopped a long ago. His mind in a haze. Your lifeless body pale, your body filled with wounds, your skull bandaged, your skin light purple and your bridal gown, the gown that you were wearing for your wedding was now filled with bloodstains, a complete devastation.
"no . . y-y/n-ah . .wake up, baby . . it's me, your jongseong."
no reply.
blank.
"c ━ come on y/n, this isn't funny anymore, WAKE UP, I SAID WAKE UP, PLEASE ━ PARK Y/N." he wails in torment, "PLEASE Y/N DON'T DO THIS TO ME, T-THIS ISN'T FUNNY ANYMORE", he sobs, his eyes swollen due to shedding so much tears.
"WAKE UP, I SAID FUCKING WAKE UP." he shakes your body, giving your cheeks pats, in hope that you'd wake up completely fine.
Sobs, one sob after another, he kept crying, roaring, he kept shaking you, still, nothing, your lifeless body didn't move a budge.
Getting a hold of your pale, lifeless hand, he intertwines his fingers with yours, kissing your knuckles softly, feeling your cold skin beneath his lips.
"No matter how hard we tried, it wasn't just meant to be." he whispered, not to himself but to you as well. Maybe, maybe in another life, things won't be like this. maybe in another life, you both would be destined together.
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TAGLiST : @chrrific @vmpivory @manaah02 @liwinly @hazelira @llovelili ( imk if you want me to add you in the perm taglist ).
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writing-flower · 3 days ago
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“ Between life and death, death is tempting ”
First act: “From the roots”
Chapter II: “Dancing with fabric (and glances).”
WARNING: Panic attack
Masterlist
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I was on a stage, too big to be a normal one or at least that was my perspective. I was wearing my suit, with the fans in my hands as the fabric touched the floor.
There was no one by my side, I was alone.
There was no one in the seats in the audience either, not a single person to watch me dance at that moment.
I let out a sigh. I started dancing.
The music in my head started playing but now it also started to be heard on the stage. slowly. Little by little. The music continued to grow.
I moved with the fabric of the fans that slowly became longer and longer.
I reached a point where I could no longer appreciate what was in front of me, I could no longer feel the cold floor of the theater.
But the lights. They were getting brighter as the music came to an end.
They wrapped me up in such a soft way, it was so suffocating.
I always wanted to be in the spotlight, to be the leader, to be the one leading the dance.
Why does it feel so different now?
I fell to my knees at the same time that the music slowly stopped along with that voice that made me remember that everything was a dream.
I hadn't realized how big the fan fabric was now, so long that it reached to the ends of the stage, The skirt also grew now it was so long and big that I couldn't stand up because of the weight of the fabric on my waist.
It shouldn't have been heavy, but it was.
It's too big for me.
When the fan fabric stopped, I fixed my gaze on the audience.
The only lights were above me, they moved where I was going but never where I wanted.
I couldn't shine light on them. I wanted to shine light on them to see their faces.
What expressions will they have? Are they waiting for me to keep dancing? Even though I can't get up, they want me to continue with the show?
Just talk, say it.
I will, just please...
Stop
Looking
at me.
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[Name] immediately gets up from her bed feeling her heart beating quickly and painfully, her feet were numb as were her arms.
While she was sitting in her bed, she tried to relax. Is this what people call "lucid dreaming"?
When she finally felt her legs and arms move just a little to get used to it, it felt like a million ants were walking on her limbs.
She sighed and then tried to get up, she managed it but a little wobbly.
She grabbed a towel along with a set of clothes to go to the bathroom.
She loved her new room, I think it would be more accurate to call it her fiveteenth room.
Compared to the previous one, which was already starting to be quite small for her and too childish, in an attempt to free up her room a bit as she ran out of space.
She found a not so small door in the ceiling, she could barely open it and saw the enormous space that had moved to that hidden part of the mansion.
But obviously being a attic, it didn't have a bathroom, that was the only thing [Name] regretted.
Once she could feel her arms and feet much better she opened the attic door and carefully went down the stairs.
"What are you doing up there, little one?"
[Name] almost fell down the stairs from the fright, she immediately looked back even though she was on the stairs to...
"First with the child...and now with the hypocrite." [Name] thought, trying not to frown, well, not so much.
"Dick, you scared me!" She did her best to fake that squeaky voice she remembers.
And thank goodness it worked. Except for one small detail.
Dick frowned.
"Dick?"
"Did something happen? Or why that face?" She finally came down from the stairs and with a little force, she pushed the stairs up and in turn closed the attic door with a small 'click'.
"What face?"
"Well, you know, that confused face..." She smiled slightly, but inside her head she was analyzing him, exactly his expression.
Dick genuinely had a face of confusion hidden, he was smiling and using his body to express otherwise.
But his eyes narrowed for a few moments before she asked about his expression.
"Oh! Don't worry little one, It's just that I've never seen that attic, and with good reason."
Dick walked past [Name] and checked the entrance to the attic better, either tensely or intentionally the entrance was very well camouflaged.
[Name] nodded. "I thought you'd be in Bludhaven by now."
"I decided to stay a few days, mostly to rest." [Name] nodded again, keeping that small smile. "And you didn't answer my question."
"What question?"
Dick laughed at her confusion.
"What were you doing up there?"
[Name] opened her mouth slightly and then closed it instantly, What the hell could she say?
"Umm, well, I was looking for some things for my dance classes!"
"Your dance classes?"
"Yep! When I found that place I started using it as a place to store some clothes or supplies that they sometimes ask us for in class." This time the tone was a little shriller, it was a mix between the voice she was faking and the nervousness of being caught.
Dick only looked at her for a few moments before instantly lowering the attic door without breaking his gaze.
"First, it's bad to lie to your brother and second, you're a very bad liar, little one." Dick smiled before carefully climbing the stairs, frowning at the unsteady ladder.
[Name] just sighed in frustration. "Let's see, how the fuck did Dick fucking Grayson know I'd be here?" She didn't say anything, nothing came out of her mouth.
Dick on the other hand was greatly surprised by what was inside, two mattresses one on top of the other, a nightstand, two not so large trunks accompanied by drawers to store clothes.
There were some hand-painted colorful bottles hanging in the higher parts of the attic, surely her creations.
The only lights illuminating the place were the skylight, a row of light bulbs, and the lamp on the nightstand.
It was a room.
Why would his sister sleep here?
Why didn't he know this?
Why...she didn't tell him about this?
"[Name]" He called her but there was no answer.
He turned around and with a leap landed in the hallway of the mansion, leaving the attic.
Only to realize she was gone.
"Shit..." He ran his hand through his hair, messing it up a bit. "Was this always her room?.."
Of course not.
And that was what was causing him an uncomfortable stomach ache.
He glanced at the attic that was still open, his curiosity got the better of him again, he went back in.
But this time he looked more closely at the "room."
The lights were off leaving only the skylight as a light source, it felt quite comfortable actually.
The orange and yellow light of dawn began to stream even further through the skylight, starting to flood some parts of the room with its light.
But the moment the light reached a certain angle of the room, everything lit up with colors, distracting Dick a little.
The lights from the bottles illuminated the rest of the room, which was still dark.
Now the whole room was illuminated without even a single artificial light switch on. Dick stood admiring for several long minutes the little light show his sister had created.
That admiration turned into something else when he noticed that on top of one of the trunks was a medium-sized box.
He walked over slowly, grabbed the box and sat down on the makeshift bed.
A long skirt and a very long fabric was the first thing she saw, but what caught her attention was the only colored fabric that was in that box.
Two fans with gradients of warm colors, yellow, orange and red. Red was what remained the most on both fans.
"This is what Alfred gave you...I don't think it's suitable for a girl of your age-"
Wait.
"How old are you?."
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[Name] arrived at the bathroom tired from running, well, now she has to get away from Dick, how ironic.
"Oh. My. GOD." She immediately leaned against the bathroom wall and slowly lowered herself until she ended up sitting.
She brought her hands to her hair, ruffling it quite a bit.
"Will this affect anything? I mean, technically do I travel back in time, or am I reincarnated? IT DOESN'T MATTER." She jumped back up and began pacing back and forth.
"Actions have consequences, allowing Dick into my room will surely change something..." [Name] stopped instantly.
"In fact... he, no, no one, found that place, at no time during my childhood until I left...What did I do?-"
Her breathing gradually began to become more agitated than before.
She felt her palms getting sweatier than before, she felt like she had been punched in the stomach and all the air she had been knocked out of her but she couldn't get it back no matter how hard she tried.
Gradually her legs as well as her hands began to shake, she didn't feel it because she was so lost in her head until she fell to the floor.
Her legs gave out as she trembled and she brought her hands to her chest. She felt dizzy.
Ten minutes passed, she still felt the trembling in her hands but her legs stopped shaking, she was still kneeling on the floor.
The dizziness disappeared but the result was a sharp headache.
"Shit...and I have to go to school." She muttered as she tried to stand up with the help of the sink. "Please, just for today, no more surprises."
"Whoever is behind this, leave me the surprises when I find a way to get back and leave here..."
If there is any way. Safe.
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NOTES: Heyyyyy guess who's back? Well I genuinely hope you all like it.
You know, if you want to ask questions, ask them, and if you want to be on the taglist, let me know in the comments.
In the end! I love you muak muak muak💋
TAGLIST:
@crazycaoticsimp @closetreader1864 @eyeless-kun @welpthisisboring @saiichai @leeiasure @shycreatorreview @bat1212 @vanessa-boo @midnightgrimoire @thereeallink @c4xcocoa @jsprien213 @stargirl404 @chericia @a-lurking-fae @kye-chen-r @alittletiredcry @lfiee @mishkapi @cxcilla @alittlelostmoonchild @ocean-mochi @randomlyappearingartist @thegothamsiren @lilithskywalker @gmwtsw @deathbynarcisstick @wizzerreblogs @mariadvorak @stardustnightfall @cristy-101
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dreamsteddie · 3 days ago
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Can't Take My Eyes Off You
Written for the @stmarchmm day one prompt “courting rituals” | Tags: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Courting Rituals, Alpha Eddie Munson, Omega Steve Harrington - Also on Ao3
Bat divider -@popmilky | Diamond divider - @inklore
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Eddie knows he doesn’t have much going for him in terms of mating material.
Despite presenting as an Alpha early at age twelve, something that should have given him some kind of status in a town like Hawkins, there’s always been something about him that makes people turn their noses up at him, close doors in his face. He’s kind of wishy-washy when it comes to the things he’s not passionate about, he smells like wet pavement and cigarette smoke, and can’t for the life of him seem to graduate high school.
He also can’t grow a beard, can’t remember to separate the darks from the lights, can’t tie his shoes without using the bunny ears method, can’t hop in place and rub his tummy, can’t- 
Well the point is, there are a lot of “can’t”s in his life and never a whole lot of “can”s
The one thing Eddie can do without a shadow of a doubt is pursue delusions of grandeur with a single-minded determination. No matter how hard this shit-hole town and all its designation-obsessed inhabitants have tried to beat him into the dirt over the years, he’s never let go of his dreams. Some day, he’s going to play songs for the entire goddamn planet, making millions of dollars off lyrics inspired by all the games and books that have gotten his head shoved in the Hawkin’s High toilets over the years, and Mayor Kline will have to give him a key to the city while Eddie Munson, town freak, gives him the middle finger.
And, if all the stars align and the Big Guy upstairs he doesn’t believe in does him several solids, he’ll be doing it with Steve Harrington standing by his side.
The guys think he’s crazy—Eddie thinks he’s crazy—but Eddie is determined to give his all into courting Steve Harrington before their shared senior year ends. He’s, by and large, the most eligible Omega in all of Hawkins, even with his recent breakup with Nancy Wheeler under his belt. No amount of ditching the popular crowd, adopting a bunch of children, and becoming best friends with band geek Robin Buckley has been enough to deter the Alphas of Hawkins High, even if some of them won’t admit it.
Eddie takes great pleasure in watching every failed courting offer. Steve has always been picky about who he lets take him out, but he hasn’t taken up a single Alpha’s offer since Nancy and the rejections are getting more brutal by the day. Eddie suspects it’s Robin’s influence and if that is the case he needs to thank her profusely because Eddie goes a little weak in the knees every time he sees Steve literally turn up his perfect nose at an offer.
So, the odds aren’t looking good. Steve is picky and Eddie is famously a poor, nobody freak, not the kind of guy with the resources to properly woo a guy like Steve, but what Eddie does have is a lot of passion and a strong desire to prove himself. 
So Eddie has a capital P Plan.
“Hey Buckley,” Eddie says sliding up to the girl where she’s packing up at the bleachers after practice. She gives him a scrutinizing look and clearly finds him lacking, squinting her eyes at him like he’s a little bug landed on her shoulder. Irritating and suspicious. Which, rude. “I was wondering if a fine lady like yourself would happen to know what one Steve Harrington might be hoping for in a courting” Robin clearly wasn’t expecting him to come right out and ask, her blue eyes going wide.
“What the fuck, Munson!” She crows, clearly embarrassed by his lack of tact.
“What!?” He fires back, not understanding what the big deal is. He wants to court Steve and Robin is the best source of information on how to go about it.
“You can’t just ask that, you doofus,” she hisses, lavender scent going smokey like brush fire.
“Why not? I want to court him, like, publicly. Everyone’s gonna know in a couple weeks anyway. Shouldn’t you be glad you’re the first to know?” He huffs. He knows it’s not exactly the done thing to go around telling people you’re going to court someone. You’re supposed to be delicate. Hint at it and build up little courting gifts and don’t look anyone in the eye. It’s dumb as hell and Eddie wants no part of it. Besides, so far as Eddie has seen, that method hasn’t worked on Steve anyway. Eddie may as well go about this in his own way, which includes getting insider information.
Still clearly not impressed, Robin says “You? You want to court Steve? Resident anti-conformist, jock-hating, Eddie Munson wants to court Steve Harrington. Why?” Her tone is clearly disbelieving, which, again, rude.
“Uh, I mean, have you seen him with those kids? He’s wicked hot with that whole mom thing he’s got going on.” At that, Robin gags. “And, I mean, I know he’s a jock but he’s also an Omega and he pretty much said fuck it to Hawkin’s High when he presented and refused to give up his position as captain. That was super fucking metal,” he says all earnest.
“And I like the way he smells, like a fresh cinnamon roll. And we shared an English class once and he asked me about the doodle of a Beholder I worked on instead of taking notes. And I know I’m not exactly a prime Alpha but I don’t think that really matters. At least not to me. I want to kiss him and make sweet love to him and have babies with him and -” Robin cuts him off with a hand over his mouth.
“Ok, I get it. You like him.” She says that, but she’s still looking at him like she can’t figure him out. “Alright…I don’t know if I like you Eddie but I’ll throw you a bone. Just one, got it? And if you fuck it up, I’m not helping you again.” She says, waiting for him to nod before removing her hand from his mouth.
Eddie takes a deep, overdramatic breath in like he’s just breached water. “Got it.”
Robin takes a deep breath of her own. “Steve’s been propositioned for courting 19 times since he presented and he’s only said yes to one. One-off dates not included.” She hasn’t stopped looking him straight in the eye, making sure he pays attention. “Nancy gave him a set of handwritten notes for history because she noticed he was struggling. All the other Alphas got him fancy jewelry, useless house stuff, and generic valentine's day crap.” With that, she gives him one last, long look before grabbing her trumpet and leaving, the sound of metal clanging under her feet following in her wake.
“Thanks, Buckey!” He calls out, waving his hand wildly at her retreating back. She ignores him.
Well, no matter. He’s got a courting to plan.
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The thing about courting when you have $3.45 to your name after rent and gas is that you have to get creative. Which isn’t a problem, Eddie breathes creativity. If he wasn't already “The Freak” he’s sure he would be Eddie “The Creative” Munson. Really, it has a nice ring to it.
The problem comes with making something with $3.45 that is also a worthy courting gift for Steve Harrington. Which, given Robin’s tip, might not be as big a concern as he would have thought. But even if Steve would be happy with a heartfelt love letter and those peanut butter brownies Eddie knows he likes, there’s a part of him that wants to blow every other Alpha and Beta that came before him completely out of the water. Maybe especially Nancy Wheeler.
Sue him, he wants to be the best.
Which leaves him with the option of a gesture. Eddie loves a gesture, but this one is going to require some help. Luckily, Eddie knows where every gang of geeks in Hawkin’s makes their dens, even if they’re not his gang of geeks. It comes with being Head Freak. It’s his responsibility, really.
Which is how he finds himself in the Hawkins Middle AV club room being stared down by a bunch of beady-eyed thirteen year olds on the verge of presenting. Jesus, these kids are intense.
“So yeah, that’s what I’m planning,” he finishes explaining. Would it kill them to look a little impressed? He’s pretty proud of it himself. Instead of sharing looks of awe, the six of them share looks of judgement between them, obviously having a silent conversation between them like some kind of hive mind. Eddie will never admit it makes him sweat a little bit.
“You want to ask to court Steve. Steve Harrington?” the tall, skinny one asks like he can’t believe it. Eddie doesn’t know if the disgust is for him or for the Omega. Either way, ouch.
“Yes,” he replies, sweating a little more. They all share more looks, the redhead in particular is looking at him like he’s gum stuck on the bottom of her shoes. 
“Why?” The curly one asks, firm and more seriously than any kid that dorky looking should have any right to speak. Seriously, he looks like a poodle in a Star Wars shirt and a trucker hat. But, Eddie knows enough about Steve to know that these are his kids, his pups, and despite how much it chafes him to have people continually asking why he wants to court Steve, like it isn’t obvious, he knows these pups are just looking out for their pack Omega.
With a deep sigh, Eddie explains for the second time in less than a week, everything he loves about Steve Harrington. At the end of his speech, the pups stare at him for a long moment before simultaneously turning their back on him to form an honest to God huddle. Seriously, the hive mind thing is looking more and more likely. Maybe he should use this for a campaign. Very Children of the Corn.
While Eddie is lost in his musing, they seem to come to some kind of conclusion, breaking up and returning to one solid, unbreakable line. It’s the other girl, hair short and at that awkward growing out length that Eddie knows all too well that steps forward. All these kids are intense, but there’s something especially severe about her, something Eddie only half recognizes.
“We will help you,” she says, quiet and solemn. 
This is going to fucking fantastic, Eddie thinks, wild grin splitting across his face.
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It’s embarrassingly easy to sneak a band of six middle schoolers and one elementary schooler into the school after hours. The kids met him outside the building just at exactly 4:00 PM the Friday after their meeting in the AV room just as they planned. The addition of the feisty ten year old was unexpected, but she proved herself invaluable in charming the one teacher that stopped them on their way to the radio room, spinning some tale about being so excited for higher learning that they wanted to explore the high school. Eddie thinks Erica Sinclair should run the world.
The kids are a well oiled, if slightly annoying, machine. As soon as Eddie pops the door open they’re getting to work figuring out how the PA system works and how long the range is. Dustin and Lucas insist that they move the entire unit closer to the field, and Max and Will are quick to source a cart for the whole thing. In record time they’re all piling into the coaches office, the one with a clear view of the basketball court where the team is running their Friday drills. Honestly, it feels a little like they’re highjacking Eddie’s plan, but the smiles on their face and their puppy sweet excitement softens the blow a little.
“You ready?” The curly haired one, Dustin, asks while offering him the mic.
“I was born for this, Dusty,” he says, snatching the mic out of his hand and taking his place outside the main gym doors.
Despite what he said, Eddie is nervous. He shakes his hands and bounces in place, trying to shake it off. Before he’s ready, he hears the slightly crackly jazzy intro pouring through the speakers. He counts his beats, waiting for his que. He spent hours planning this, recording the background music with the band, turning the lyrics over and over in his head, even practicing his grand entrance. He’s as ready as he can be.
God, he hopes this works.
And there’s his que, that little pause in the music just enough time for him to push open the doors to the main gym with all his strength, relishing in the dramatic banging sound.
All eyes are on him. Steve’s eyes are on him.
You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off of you,
He sings as he walks. All the activity in the gym has come to a halt, everyone too confused and curious to stop it. He’s looking right at Steve, who turns his head like he’s expecting to see someone else behind him. He’s so cute, Eddie wants to eat him alive.
At long last love has arrived,
And I thank God I'm alive,
You're just too good to be true
Eddie knows he doesn’t have a lot of time, any moment now principle Higgins and his one security lackey are going to bust through the doors to find out who stole the announcement equipment. This is the moment, the one that needs to count. Eddie saunters right up to Steve like his heart isn’t trying to beat out of his chest and kneels down like a knight to their king. He takes his hand, and Steve lets him as he sings the next line looking right up into those beautiful hazel eyes.
Can't take my eyes off of you.
He turns the hand in his own over to expose the Omega’s wrist just as the music pauses and presses a soft, lingering kiss to the gland there. A courting kiss.
Almost like he planned it, the doors burst open a second time revealing the fuming face of Principle Higgins and his goon. He turns a manic grin Steve’s way just as the music picks back up, cutting straight to the chorus. He presses one last kiss to Steve’s wrist and takes in the way his pretty, pink lips are parted in disbelief, eyes wide and then he’s running.
I love you baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you baby,
To warm the lonely nights
Let it never be said that Eddie Munson, for all the ways he fails to be the ideal Alpha, doesn’t have a hell of a lot of stamina. He’s been a proud runner all his life, and he’s using it to his advantage today to put on a show. He’s singing and he’s running as Higgins and Officer Jerry chase his tail like they have any hope of catching him when he doesn’t want to be caught, when he can see the most beautiful boy in the world laughing at him in disbelief as he ducks and dodges around the court.
But even Eddie has his limits and, like he said, he planned this to a T. He can feel himself running out of breath but he refuses to call it before the climax. He’s stomping his way up the bleachers, making a show of going between the rows dancing like he’s in an old hollywood musical. Higgin’s is closing in, but there’s now way he’s getting caught. Not today. He puts in a burst of speed, leaving them in the dust and putting himself right at the top of the wooden stands, singing directly to Steve who is absolutely glowing on the court.
And let me love you,
Baby let me love you…
The music gives one last swell, the Corroded Coffin of two days ago pouring their heart out for the Eddie of today. The music comes to an abrupt halt, the gym very quickly filling with laughter and applause. The kids are screaming their heads off in the office, loud enough to draw Steve’s attention to where they can be seen through the large window. The joy and disbelief on Steve’s face makes all of this worth it, no matter what happens next.
Eddie wishes he could relish in it longer, but the goon squad is gaining ground fast and he has one last message to give before he hauls ass into the next phase of his plan. He starts inching his way toward the exit, not taking his eyes off Steve as he goes. He needs him to hear this.
“Steve Harrington, it would be the honor of my life to court you with the intention of mating. Meet me at the lake at seven if you’ll hear me out.” And with that, he’s gone. He wishes he could stay to see his reaction, but he’s out of time.
He pushes through the emergency exit to the sound of hollering and clapping, all he can do now is commence with phase two.
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Phase two mainly consists of picking everything up from the trailer, changing into his nice clothes, and heading toward Lover’s Lake to set everything up.
Eddie thinks this is the most nerve wracking part of the whole plan. In many ways, the whole big performance was the easy part. Eddie loves to perform, eats up the attention like a cat laps up milk. This, the full bearing of his heart to the Omega he wants to spend his life with, is far scarier than anything else. Here in the back of his van, the paper hearts and pillar candles, hand-picked daisies and hand-made peanut butter brownies, leave him completely exposed.
He wonders if Steve will show up.
He wishes he didn’t set up so god damn early. The waiting is excruciating.
The Alpha paces around, adjusts the blankets on the bottom of the van and then decides they were better before, and checks his watch every half minute like it will make time move faster. He sits and watches the hands turn from 6:59 to 7:00. Maybe Steve won’t come. Maybe this was all for nothing and he’ll have to go back to school on Monday and pretend like he isn’t heartbroken.
His watch continues to tick. 7:03, 7:07, 7:10. He’s getting ready to pick it all back up when he hears the muffled sound of tires on soft dirt. Suddenly, his heart is in his throat as he watches the distinct headlights of his favorite Beamer turn into the clearing.
Eddie scrambles to his feet, he has a plan to carry out.
He watches, heart in his throat as Steve parks. Watches as the door opens and Steve emerges, a sweet, sheepish smile on his face.
“Sorry I’m late.” Steve looks like a dream. He clearly went home and had a shower and a change of clothes. He’s wearing light wash jeans that hug his thighs and a soft looking, deep red sweater, the collar of a white dress shirt peeking out from underneath. He’s dressed up for Eddie.
There’s a long pause where Eddie forgets how to speak and Steve just stands there, clearly waiting for Eddie to make a move. Eddie comes back to himself all at one, shaking his head hard like a dog, making Steve let out a startled laugh. “What the hell?” He asks, not mean, but bemused. 
“My deepest apologies my liege, I was simply stunned by your beauty,” he says with a half bow, extending his arm for Steve to take. “It is my pleasure to welcome you to Cafe Munson, the finest pop up restaurant this side of Indiana.” It’s goofy and a little ridiculous but Steve takes the offered arm with a little smile, sending a pleasant jolt through his body. 
Eddie leads Steve toward the open back of the van, watching him intently as he takes it in. He gets to see as the Omega’s eyes go wide, mouth parting in a little gasp. When he turns to look at Eddie, he’s already looking back. “You did this for me?” He asks, wonder coloring his voice. All of a sudden Eddie feels a little shy, a little sheepish.
“I know it’s not much, I’m not exactly liquid at the moment, but I wanted to do something nice for you,” he says, unoccupied arm reaching up to tug a piece of hair over his mouth. Steve looks at him for a long moment before turning back to the van. There are blankets everywhere, pretty much every one from the house plus a couple he nicked from Gareth’s house after practice. The emergency pillar lights from the pantry give the space a soft glow, paper hearts hang from string from the metal roof, and a repurposed laundry basket full of tupperwares and miller lites sits in the center.
“It’s perfect” Steve says, and Eddie can’t help but believe him. Not when his scent is blooming, cinnamon roll sweet, right under Eddie’s nose.
Eddie leads him to the van, gives him his hand to help him into the back. He takes a moment to take it all in, Steve Harrington settling into a date with Eddie Munson. It’s his biggest dream come true. 
He climbs in after the other boy and starts pulling out tupperwares. Steve has settled in to lean on the wall of pillows Eddie constructed for just this reason, pulling a blanket over the both of them when Eddie settles in next to him. Steve laughs with every overly dramatic introduction he makes for the food, and Eddie doesn’t think he’s ever been this warm. Neither of them brings up why they’re here, the underlying meaning behind it all. They dance around it, laughing about the kids, Steve’s sports and Eddie’s games, the look on Principle Higgin’s face when he burst into the gym earlier that day. The whole place smells like cinnamon and smoke, Eddie doesn’t think there’s a better smell in the whole world.
They don’t say a thing about courting or mating or scents until they polish off their cold pasta, courtesy of Wayne, and Eddie pulls out the last tupperware from the bottom of the laundry basket. “And for dessert, may I have a drumroll please….” Steve rolls his eyes but smiles as he complies, drumming a little beat with fingers on the side of the van. Eddie pulls out the container with a flourish, “The finest peanut butter brownies $3.15 worth of ingredients from Melvald’s can get you.” He expects laughter, maybe some light teasing as Steve has been shown to enjoy throughout the night, but all he gets is silence. 
He worries, for a moment, that he got it wrong. Maybe Steve doesn’t like peanut butter brownies. Jesus H Christ, maybe he’s allergic to peanuts and Eddie has just massively fucked this up. He’s getting ready to spiral and try to fix it when Steve speaks, voice soft in a way Eddie can’t place.
“Those are my favorites,” he says. When Eddie is brave enough to look at his face again, he’s met with wet, adoring eyes. Eddie doesn't know if anyone has ever looked at him like that before. Like he was something magical. Something special just for them.
Eddie clears his throat when Steve doesn’t say anything else. Just keeps staring at him like he’s waiting for something big. “Yeah, yeah I know,” he says, bracing himself for what comes next. “I uh, I saw you buy some at the club fair last year. You bought three of them and then came back for one more before they closed the booth.” It shouldn’t be such a big admission, but it feels like he’s just handed Steve his heart on a silver platter.
“Eddie?” Steve asks, turning toward him fully.
“Yeah?” Eddie asks, sitting up so they’re eye to eye.
“What you said, on the basketball court, will you ask me again?” He’s looking at him with so much hope in his eyes, Eddie almost feels like he could choke on it. Instead, he focuses in on the perfect scent of the man next to him, breathes steadily in and out.
“It would be the honor of my life to court you with the intention of mating, Steve Harrington.” As he says it, he reaches into his pocket for his last offering, his hail mary pass, his death saving throw. It’s a silly thing, cost his last 30 cents at the stationary store, but he was listening to Robin on those bleachers that day. Knows that the gesture and the picnic are all well and good, but what Steve has been missing with all those other Alphas is someone who notices the small details and holds them close. Someone who cares about his C+ in History, someone who knows his favorite brownies are swirled with peanut butter.
Someone who notices that he lost his eraser last week and has been meaning to pick up a new one.
Eddie holds out his heart one last time, it’s shaped like a 30 cent eraser. White and covered with a paper band. The best one on the market.
Steve stares at the little eraser like it contains the answers to the universe, and then he’s plucking it, oh so gently, out of his hands and cradling it in his own. Eddie waits, the ball is completely in Steve’s court now, Eddie has played all his cards.
Suddenly, Steve scent starts to bloom, even more than it did when he first saw the van. The smell of sugar, cinnamon, and yeast so strong it makes Eddie feel light headed. Eddie gets a glimpse of the most beautiful smile in the world just before Steve is throwing his arm around his neck, nudging his way into his lap to notch his head right at Eddie’s scent gland. Eddie’s arms instinctually wrap around his back, keeping him close.
“Yes,” Steve says, the sound of it muffled by the soft skin of Eddie’s neck. Eddie squeezes him tight, knows he needs to ask, just to make sure but worried he’s hallucinating. Scared to believe he’s getting everything he’s ever wanted.
“Yes?” He asks, lips trembling where they’ve found their own place at Steve’s neck, wanting to be as close as possible, just in case.
“Yes.” And Steve is pulling back, which Eddie hates, and cupping his face in is hands. “It would be the honor of my life to accept your courting offer, Eddie Munson,” he says, sure and steady and full to the brim of hope.
“Holy shit.” Eddie can’t believe this is happening. Despite all the planing and the performing and the putting his heart on the line he never actually let himself think that this would happen. Never let himself think about how it would end.
Without much though Eddie barrels forward to bury his head back into the Omega’s neck, his Omega’s neck, peppering him with fervent little kisses until Steve is giggling so hard he tips them over into the pile of pillows behind him. Eddie is full to the brim with joy, happier than he’s ever been and all of a sudden he needs to move. Needs to let the whole world know what he’s got in the palm of his hands.
He jolts up with one last kiss to Steve’s cheek, managing a quick “be right back!” before he launching himself out of the van. He hears Steve calling out in confusion, but it quickly turns into more joyous laughter as Eddie steps out of the van and starts jumping in place, punching the air and whooping into the night sky.
“Fuck you Hawkins! I’m courting Steve Harrington! I’m on top of the God Damn world!” He gets in one last double bird in the general direction of Main Street before Steve is calling him back in.
“Ok, you’ve had your moment. Now get your ass back in here and kiss me for real, you dumb Alpha,” he says, laughter still caught in his throat. And really? Who is Eddie do deny a request like that?
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So excited for MMM, guys! I won't be doing every day, but I will be doing at lest a couple of full one shots and some of my normal ramblings. (Also, this is the longest thing I've ever written that wasn't an academic paper and I am low key very proud of myself)
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hanniescookie · 3 days ago
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too many hobbies - YJH
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pairing - jeonghan x f!reader
genre - domestic au, fluff
warnings - use of pet names (baby for reader, hannie for jh), kissing, pure fluff, mentions of mild insecurities, and uhm yeah that's it ig
summary - everyone around you seems to be soaring, traveling and building perfect lives while you're surrounded by the love of your many hobbies that leaves you feeling a little confused at times. luckily, jeonghan is there to not let you feel insecure.
author's note - second fic and i'm sooo nervous even though i've been writing for 7 years already 😭 anyway, this is for the bbangi to my shingi @kissbyoon / baby you deserve all the love 🤍 i'm ltr sharing jeonghan w you so like gimme some love 😔☝🏻
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You slump tiredly into your couch for the first time in a while, closing your eyes as the setting sun reflects on your face from the large window. It's not everyday that your energy goes down, but inevitably, there are days like today when you want to isolate yourself from the world just a little bit.
The living room of your apartment is still messy with all the stuff — papers, scissors, crayons, and stationary of all sort — that you were using to make your boyfriend a gift card.
Your eyes scan all the stuff, and most importantly, the pretty purple and white gift card you completed before leaving for the dance studio. It looks meaningless now, not even slightly pretty to your eyes.
All you can think about is how your dance colleagues talked about their life plans a while ago – how their words sent you in a spiral of uncertainty about your own life.
"You all, please pray I pass the audition. Not for another second am I going to waste my time here!"
"You will! Trust yourself. I thought I was going nowhere until I got my job."
"But I have come to terms with the fact that dancing here won't get me anywhere, I'm probably gonna make use of my degree and apply at the law firm."
"Well of course, I just can't sit with my hobby for a lifetime. I'm pushing my age already, so I'm hoping for my promotion."
It isn't like you to ponder over words, but this conversation did make you feel overwhelmed. Maybe you are being sensitive, but seeing everyone else talk about their sorted life makes this mess in your living room a lot suffocating than it is.
You reach out, holding the gift card in your hands and staring at it for a while. It speaks ugly words to you — pointing fingers at you and calling you a loser.
Your fingers involuntarily curl into it, almost about to rip it apart when a pretty voice breaks your reverie.
"Oh my baby!!! Did you make that for me? Show me!"
Jeonghan appears beside you out of nowhere, making you blink at him in surprise as the card is nearly snatched from your hand. The awe on his face makes your heart soften. He reads the card — all silly little messages you had scribbled in there — his contagious smile broadening on his face.
Before you can say anything, he has wrapped you in his arms, squishing you into his large frame. "Why are you soooo sweet? What if I cry?"
You end up smiling against his chest, wrapping your arms around him with a sigh. He has managed to wash away any negative emotions you were facing a while ago so easily. "We all know you're not gonna cry that easily, hannie."
He pulls away just enough to meet your eyes, a constant smile plastered on his lips. "I appreciate that you know me well, but I fear you're not entirely aware of how much I love these little things you do."
Something in your chest flutters as your smile dims slightly, staring at this loveable man and his comforting existence. He didn't even need to give you a whole speech about how it's good that you're on your own pace, and you're doing great in life (he can provide you with words of affirmation if needed) yet you're already feeling like none of people's words matter. Because you're reminded of the fact that you're indeed exactly where you're meant to be, and you'll be where you're meant to be in the future too.
You press a feather-light kiss to his nose, "What little things?"
He grins, returning the gesture with a more firm kiss than yours. "These little gifts you make me. But that's not all I love about you, you know? I love all that you do. Your dance, your impromptu shower singing, those stories you write in your laptop — I love all of it. Never quit on any of your hobbies. They make you, you."
It isn't like you to cry easily as well, but when you feel the sight of your pretty boyfriend blurring a little, you know you have tears in your eyes. He furrows his brows, instant concern spreading all over his features.
His hand cups your cheek softly. "Baby? What's wrong? Did I say something wrong?"
You sniff, and close your eyes for a second so the tear residing there falls past your cheek. Then you shake your head. "Never." You breathe. "You can never say anything wrong, hannie. In fact, you only ever say everything right. Everything to make me feel special."
He doesn't seem convinced given that he still doesn't smile. He just continues to look at you, trying to detect signs of distress. "Baby—"
You giggle a little, moving to wrap your arms around his neck. "Don't worry. I just got a little emotional because of what you said. I'm fine."
"You sure?"
You nod, feeling his thumb wipe at the lone tear that had fallen before he finally breaks into his signature teasing grin. "Who's the one easily crying now?"
You roll your eyes despite the smile on your face, "Stop being so cocky."
"You love it." He grins, kissing you briefly because he couldn't resist it. You hum, and chase his lips the moment he pulls away. He wants to tease, but right now he's going to give you what you want so he smiles and kisses you back.
If it's with Jeonghan and his gravitational comfort, you know you'll get everywhere you want to be in life.
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fixyourwritinghabits · 18 hours ago
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Hi, I used to write a lot as a teenager because I thought that I had all the "cool stuff" still to come in life and it was OK for me to just imagine it for now. However, as I got older I found that I couldn't write anymore because the more I tried to be authentic, the more I realised that I had no experience of any of the stuff I was writing about. I wanted to write about someone like me, and I wanted people to want to read it, but I felt like no one would be interested in reading something where there is no "happy ending" or lesson learned. Fast forward a decade and now I have an autism diagnosis and the disconnect from others finally makes sense, but my question is how do I write if I don't know how to fully resolve the problems I'm writing about? I understand that writing doesn't have to be 100% from experience, but I feel that I at least need to be able to imagine the scenario in which a person with similar limitations to me could make it to a satisfactory conclusion. I miss writing but I don't want to solve all my main characters problems by having her meet someone who understands her and then they partner up and hey everything is fine now. Would people be happy to read about the struggles someone has without needing a nice victorious conclusion? Maybe stories like this already exist but I just haven't found them yet, any recommendations? I don't want to wait until I've figured out life, the universe and everything to start writing again since I probably will never get there.
Chuck Tingle (yes, that Chuck Tingle) has written often and openly about having autism. The Autism Books by Autistic Authors Project works on tracking books by autistic authors specifically about autistic characters, and that might be a great place to start. They've got fiction, non-fiction, graphic novels - you name it!
Another thing I think you're struggling with is the opinion of a non-existent reader-base. It's so easy to worry that your stories won't make people happy ahead of time, but you're letting that get in the way of your writing. If you write for yourself, telling the stories you want to tell, there are going to be people out there who will want to read them.
Don't let fear hold you back - there's going to be people who want your work! They can't find you if you don't tell the stories you want to tell, in the way you want to tell them. You can do this!
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legendofmorons · 2 days ago
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Yooooo happy 2 year anniversary!!! As for the fic bingo,
SOULMATE AU WITH LEGEND I AM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
I'm so normal about him I promise
Thank you!!!
I'm al SO normal about Legend ;)
(Soul) Marked hearts
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Pairing: Legend x reader
Rating: T
Summary: In a world where you have the most important thing your soulmate says to you, printed somewhere on your body... you realize the man you love (and have loved for years) is your soulmate.
Warnings: cursing
Other: If I missed anything, please let me know
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You sit by the fire, side by side with your long time friend Legend. Cool summer night breezes lazily pass by as the star shin above you.
The others sleep peacefully as your shift of watch drags on.
"You didn't have to take watch with me." You say to him.
Legend shrugs half heartedly. "You get bored."
"I do." You smile.
He snorts, elbowing you gently.
You just roll tour eyes, leaning against him. It's one of the many privileges you are afforded as someone close to him.
Legend wraps one arm around you, staring out at the stars as everyone else sleeps. He rests his hand on your arm, the metal of his rings cooler than his flesh.
It's easy, being here with him. The way your mind wanders to what a life with him might entail is... nothing new.
You soak up the warmth and ease that radiates off him. This is something reserved for you.
Legend is a sweetheart. Under the jaded attitude, he's still kind. He's earned the right to be jaded. But here? When it's just the two of you?
He is always more open with you like this. He's comfortable enough with you to be softer. Comfort enough to be affectionate.
"Did you ever find your soulmate?" He asks you. "I know you wanted to."
You laugh. "Not yet. I... don't know that I care, either. You know?"
"I do."
"Oh?" You prompt, "Is there someone you want to pursue, bunny boy?"
"That's not my name." Legend huffs. He gives you a playful glare, too.
You smile. "Answer the question."
"Maybe. It's... not important. I don't think I have a chance." Legend pulls you closer.
You lean with it, humming. "Why not?"
"I doubt I'm their soulmate. You know the world we live in." He gives a half shrug.
His tone is bitter, and he sounds genuinely resigned to a fate without whoever it is he is talking about.
You fall silent, searching the fire for answers as if it can reassure you. What are you supposed to say?
You can't let yourself hope he's talking about you.
The urge to reassure him is stringer than any jealousy you have over a man that isn't yours. You love him, you don't want him upset.
"Well... Fuck em." You offer and smile at him, "If they don't feel the same their a total fool."
"Really? That's all you got?" He huffs, raising one brow.
"Yep." You say, poping the 'p'.
Legend stares at you with unreadable eyes. He looks at you, searching for something but you can't say what.
He looks back to the stars.
You settle back down against him.
Legend rubs your arm with his hand where it rests, arm still around you like a promise.
You don't know what it's a promise of, just that it is.
Minutes pass, silent companionship a steady beat in your heart.
Legend finally asks, "If... I tell you something, you can't laugh at me. Okay?"
"I make no promises." You say immediately. "When people say that they tell me things that make me laugh."
"It's not a joke." Legend says.
His voice is firm, but his frame shakes slightly against you.
You frown, pulling out of his hold and sitting up on your own. You watch his face for any hint of what he wants to say.
"I'm listening." You tell him. "I won't laugh."
"Did you mean what you said, that I should tell them?" Legend asks, voice quiet and shaking.
You offer a nod.
He looks at you with a vulnerability you rarely see on him. He looks sea sick.
"Okay." He says, letting out a breath.
"Take your time." You soothe. "It's okay."
Legend nods weakly. He is looking directly into your eyes.
He takes a deep breath, setting his shoulders before he speaks.
"I don't care if you're my soulmate, I chose you. You're who I want at my side, as my partner, as my spouse if you want to get married." He says, voice firm even as he looks ready to run.
You let out a gasp.
He watches you, hands shaking as he fists them in his lap.
You know those words.
Those are the words that's are printed on one of your shoulder blades.
Legend said-
Oh.
"Fuck, man." You breathe out.
You want to laugh a little. You don't, but the surprise is there.
Legend flinches.
"It's really you, Link." You say in awe, "You're the one."
He blinks, confusion flitting across his face. "What?"
"It's your words on me. It's you!" You smile.
His breath catches. He knows those words. Those are the words printed on his sternum.
You're hugging him quickly, heart beating too fast as you knock your knee against his in the movement.
Legend hugs you back on reflex, sucking in a breath. "We're so stupid."
You laugh softly, setting your forehead on his shoulder. "We're soulmates."
"I'm glad it's you." Legend decides.
You grin, pulling away to look at him again. "How long can we go before the others realize we're together?"
"We're together now?" Legend asks with a smirk.
"Yes." You say, taking his hand in your own. "You're mine forever, bunny boy."
"Only if you're mine too."
"Good." You say, pulling his hand to up and pressing a kiss to it.
"Sap." He acusses. Then he gives you a smirk. "We could probably go for a week or two before they put it together."
You laugh, "Yeah?"
"Absolutely."
You lean against him again, setting your joined hands on your thigh. "This is nice."
He hums, "It is."
"For what it's worth... I chose you too, Link."
He smiles, face red. "Yeah?"
"Forever."
Legend hums once. "Forever sounds... great."
You smile up at him.
He means it, too. He knows he's prickly and he has bad days, but if you'll have him he'll stay with you. Forever.
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saturnvs · 2 days ago
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horse commissions - march 2025! all slots taken!
hello horse people of tumblr! i'm, once more, opening my horse comms. only 2 slots this time to keep the workload lighter. unfortunately, life and all its troubles refuse to slow down just because i'm in the mood to draw a bunch of horses :')
here's the general info!
paypal only, full payment upfront.
provide reference photos; reference sheets are great for ocs. for real horses i appreciate clear pictures from several angles if the piece requires it, good lighting where the true coat color is visible is extra good.
horses only! no human or otherwise companions
prices are currently the same for portraits/busts and half or fullbody pieces
if i feel that what you're requesting is way out of my skillset/comfort zone i will turn it down, but don't be afraid to ask!
the time you can expect for me to finish a piece is within a month, from the point that the first sketch is done and approved by you. sometimes it takes less time, sometimes it takes more time - it depends both on the complexity of the piece and how much i have going on in my personal life. i, of course, can't predict any of these things! however, i'm very thorough when it comes to giving a heads up if something takes longer than originally expected.
tiers and prices
1.
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rendered/painted piece: $65 [extra horse +$30] a rendered, more detailed piece with a flat or simple background. can be a portrait, half body, or full body. if you want the style of the piece to more closely resemble any of the ones pictued above, as they are a little different, let me know and i'll try my best!
2.
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colored sketch with some/minimal rendering: $45 (extra horse +$20) a sketch with flat colors and some rendering + a flat background.
if you're interested, message me here on tumblr or send me an email at [email protected] !
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zepskies · 2 days ago
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Lol YESSS I know you love a bit of angsty heartbreak. 😜 Thank you so much, friend! Can't wait to see what you thought of the penultimate chapter. 💖
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Oh, Micheal is just such a lovely, lovely person, isn't he? 😒 In the words of Taylor Swift: Michael doesn't measure up in any measure of a man...
oh God yeah, perfect quote for this pos, honestly. 😣
Hahaha omfg I loved Sam so much during this chapter! He was awesome!!! Go Lawyer!Sam 😎🤎 (And I have no idea if you intended for my mind to jump to Changing Channels and French Mistake Sam with these lines, but it did, so THANK you 🤣🫶)
LMAO I'm deaddd - Sam in Changing Channels is exactly the cadence of all his lawyering/"agreeing" with Michael to keep him talking. It's very "play your role" for sure! And French Mistake Sam is the icing on the cake. 🤣🤣🤣
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I do understand his struggle after the war, but it's literally NO excuse to treat his wife like shit, cheat on her, lie to her, spend her money for his trashy sidepiece, and God knows what else. You don't want an anchor? Fine. Get divorced. The fact he keeps her around and won't let her find her own happiness after she literally saved his life is so mind-boggingly selfish smh The least he could to show his gratitude is not be a gigantic cuntface 🤬
First of all, LOVE that you dug up that Freddie gif. Leave it to you to find the perfect one there. 🤣🤣
And yes ALLLL of this! Louder for the people in the back!!!
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That's exactly how I hoped readers would react to Michael's scene. Is he pitiable in a sense? Sure. Does he inspire sympathy? Maybe. But it doesn't excuse his selfishness, especially when you contrast him with Dean and his experiences vs. his actions.
Ugh, God, poor thing! 😭💔 With all the romanticism of that period sadly also comes the shame of taboo topics (not to mention feminism in general taking a backseat lol) Really feel for her here! Wish she wouldn't blame herself as much. Her husband is a dirtbag 😔
Ooof yep, that's something I hoped would come across as well. I wanted the reader to be strong but realistic to the time period in that sense. But it shows how her moral character differs from her husband. 🙄 Even now, she feels guilty for betraying him, even if she also doesn't. It's more the principle of it that she feels shame for, if not the actual emotional act.
SCREAMING 😳😳😳 The whole flower shop scene was like watching a train wreck. Poor Dean! So many stingers in those few sentences!! 😩 (And man, I wanna choke Michael!!! Buying flowers? Dinner? Are you fucking kidding me??? WHAT THE F–???)
Ughhhh God ikr? Poor Dean, indeed!! 😭😭 What's ironic is Michael doesn't know that that's almost exactly what Dean did to cheer her up the night before. So now, even Dean might be looking at his own actions as "not enough." But Michael has every shade of audacity, doesn't he? 😤
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But did you stop the angst there? Nope! The reader part of me hated you, while the writer part highly commended you 😂💜
*snorts* honestly thank you - this compliment feeds me so much. 😂💕💕
I already knew it wouldn't be fast, but I knew this was going to be a problem. Where would she stay during this? Michael certainly won't have it, and I really fear for her safety here 🥺 (Reading the teaser for the last part, I think I have good reason to, even though I know you said once earlier I didn't need to. Still, you got me shaking here, girl 😅) Surprised Sam wouldn't think about that, considering everything he found out about the guy so far 👀
Ooh yes, these are all good questions! Her safety and where she'll stay is definitely a factor coming into play in Part 5. After what Sam has found out, he's going to make sure she's looked out for, for sure! 💜💜
This was such a dreamy, swoon-worthy movie scene *sighs* 😍🫠 And then they had to start talking, didn't they? Specifically Dean. The infamous DW self-loathing enters the AU 😆 I really just wanted to cover his piehole and tell him to stop talking, kiss her for real, and take her with you. Hide out in Kansas till everything blows over 😭
Ugh right?? Things started out so nice, why tf did Dean have to open his mouth? lmaoo
"I'm no good for you"!Dean has entered the chat. 😒 But no DW love story would be complete without a little self-loathing, right? 🙃
LOL love that image of literally covering his piehole.~
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But I know it hurts, my lovely. I'm so sorry to do this to you. 🥲🤭
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And I'm so glad the brothers had a long overdue chat as well! I still feel so incredibly heartbroken for Dean 😭
Oh yeah, Sam and Dean needed to have that moment - for Sam to see how much he was hurting big bro, and for Dean to get that off his chest. Ultimately though, if these guys can survive three years of the war apart, they can survive learning how to be brothers again too. 💜
I can't wait for the last part of this & how it all will tie together in the end! Eeeek! This is so, so, so incredibly good, friend!!! 😍😍😍 (And I get to read it on Patreon tonight too hehe 🩵)
Aww I love you so much for wanting to join my Patreon, friend!! I can't wait to see what you think of how it all shakes out--with much drama of course. you know me lmao 😘💖💖
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BETWEEN THE CITY & THE STARS - Part 4
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader
Summary: In the fall of 1945, Dean is having a difficult time assimilating back into civilian life after the War. He’s visiting his brother Sam in New York City, where he’s beginning to build up his law firm. At two minutes to closing time, you interrupt their evening to solicit a solicitor. Your request? You need help in order to divorce your husband.
AN: Now we get into the aftermath of the night before, with all the insecurity and heartbreak to go along with it. 💙
Jacklesverse Bingo24 Prompt: Historical Epic
Song Inspo: “Danke Shoen” by Wayne Newton
Word Count: 4K
Tags/Warnings: Mentions of cheating, angsty angst, trauma/PTSD, and a cliffhanger…
✨ Series Masterlist
🎵 YouTube Playlist || Spotify Playlist
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Part 4: Complicit
Sam would give Michael one thing. The guy damn well knew how to drink.
He didn’t stop all night, throwing back whiskey like it was cheap beer. His words began to slur, his movements sloppy, but he was still coherent. When he got up to visit the men’s restroom, Sam got up as well. Maybe he could get Michael talking.
Sam stopped the other man from tripping into the urinal. The two laughed it off, with Michael thanking him before he unzipped to finish his business. Sam did the same.
After washing their hands, Sam looked over and noticed Michael’s gaze lingering on his own reflection in the mirror. It was becoming a rough sight—his blonde hair no longer neatly coiffed, purplish rings under his eyes, the stench of alcohol clinging to his skin and clothing.
“You all right there, Milligan?” Sam asked.
Michael ran a hand over his face, sighing when it didn’t get any better.
“Fine,” he replied. “So, Winchester. What did you say you do for work again? Something about your own business?”
Sam nodded. “I started up a law firm.”
That much, he had to be honest about. It was all too easy for someone to look up his name in the directory.
“Sounds like a good outfit,” Michael said, with an incline of his head. “Every lawyer I know wears a Rolex.”
Sam chuckled, glancing down at his father’s watch. “Well, I’m not quite there yet.”
“Someday soon, I’m sure,” said Michael. He bumped Sam conspiringly on the shoulder.
“And you?” Sam asked. “What’s keeping the lights on at your place?”
Michael raised a hand to sort through his unruly hair, a dirtier blonde in this unflattering light.
“Well, you could say I’ve inherited a business of my own,” he said. “I run a meat packing plant down in the district.”
Sam’s attention piqued. There had been a meat rationing during the war, even some rumors and propaganda about “meatleggers,” black market operators.
“How’s it been with the rations?” Sam asked. “Been hard to even find a good carton of eggs lately.”
Michael gave him a slight smile. “Been on the turnaround, actually. I’ve been able to make some connections with vendors outside the city. A little grease on the palms makes a little go a long way, if you catch my drift.”
Sam slowly smiled and nodded. A little grease on the palms, huh?
“Do what you gotta do in the times, ‘s what I say,” Sam agreed.
Michael snorted. “Now you’re talkin’. That’s all we can do, you know. Try to make a thing work, with whatever scraps we get. Try to stay afloat.”
“Try to stay alive,” Sam rejoined.
Michael made a low sound of approval. He became more contemplative, crossing his arms as he once again glanced at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Sam’s gaze on the other man was perceptive, gaining ever closer to what seemed to be eating at the very core of him. Whether Sam actually believed what he was saying or not, each of his words was a test, a subtle nudge.
“You know,” Michael said. “I was shot down in France.”
Sam sobered further. Leaning against the counter, he retrieved two cigarettes and a lighter. He didn’t often smoke, but he thought it might keep the other man talking. He handed one over to Michael, and he took it gratefully. They lit up together and coiled musky tobacco smoke into the air.
“Where?” Sam asked.
Michael snorted, huffing a bit of smoke. “Lord knows. But when I woke up, I had stitches from here to here.”
He gestured to the back of his head, all the way to above his brow. It explained a small, but noticeable scar near his temple.
“And I had an angel standing over me,” he added, his eyes growing heavy. Guilty. “A bona fide angel. She’d stitched me up, she told me. She also told me I was lucky to be alive. The doc wanted to toe tag me and be done with it, but she thought I still had some fight left in me.”
Michael shook his head. “The next chance I got, I married her.”
Sam’s brows rose. He knew you had been a nurse, but he hadn’t known this part of your story.
“A wartime romance, huh?” he said. Michael quirked a smile.
“She was my anchor,” he said. “After it was all said and done, she followed me here, held my feet down to the ground. Sometimes she had to hammer me down, ya know.”
He hesitated, his eyes somewhat glazing over. He stared over Sam’s shoulder at something only he could see.
“But sometimes…sometimes an anchor just feels suffocating,” he said. “Sometimes, you need to forget your own damn name. Forget that your entire life and mortgage is in a warehouse that might as well be a freezer full a’ dead cow meat. And still, it smells a hell of a lot better than lying on a dirty cot—where the last guy who had your spot probably got his leg sawed off.” 
Michael considers the cigarette in his hand for a long while before he takes another puff.
Sam exhales smoke as well. He spent the last three years behind a desk, but he sees the same shaken core in Michael Milligan that he too often sees in his older brother.
“You know, Winchester, there’s two kinds of men,” Michael said, just a hint of a slur in his voice. “The ones who pray to live…and the ones who beg for it to be over.”
“And what kind of man are you now?” Sam asked. His tone was loose, but his gaze was sharp.
Michael snorted. He dabbed the butt of his cigarette on the inside of the sink before he threw it away.
“I’m the guy who can’t die,” he muttered.
He rolled his shoulders, as if to let the weight of his words and everything that came along with them to roll off his back. Then he pushed his way out of the bathroom, leaving Sam considering more than just half a cigarette.
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That night after Dean left, you slept in the guest room instead of your bed. You couldn’t even bring yourself to sleep next to Michael when he stumbled in at four in the morning, especially now that you had seen his game with your own eyes. 
However, you also felt complicit yourself the next morning. You felt…ashamed. You took your vows seriously. You had never in your life thought you would be someone so brazen. You never thought you would dishonor your husband as well as yourself.
And yet. All while you got ready for work, hearing Michael’s snores from the other room, your mind was filled with warmth and memory—of Dean. His smile, his voice, his eyes, his lips, and of course, his hands. You couldn’t decide which of them was your favorite, but his hands were high on the list. 
You shouldn’t have let him in, you reminded yourself. You nibbled on your lower lip while you prepped the coffee maker. You should have told him goodnight at the door and saw him off. You should very well not have invited him up to the apartment, let alone drank with him, or let him touch you…
You paused while the sound of percolation and the smell of fresh coffee filled the kitchen. You looked up at yourself in the small mirror that hung on the wall. The woman looking back at you was conflicted at best.
Yes, you felt guilty. But at the same time, you didn’t. Was it really betraying your marriage if your husband had been doing far worse, and for God knew how long?
No. This wasn’t a marriage. This was a sham. A mockery of the very thing.
You frowned angrily and almost slammed the carafe on the counter when the coffee was done. Forcing yourself to take a few steadying breaths, you allowed that hate and anger to slowly drain out of you, and you smiled.
You marveled that you could smile at all, but it was only thanks to Dean Winchester.
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What the hell am I doing?
Dean stared at the two bouquets of flowers. One was a bound bunch of red roses, the other was wildflowers and other colorful ones he didn’t know the names of. He was having a hard time deciding, namely because he didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked.
Because after all, he barely knew you.
He sighed down at the roses. They were pretty, but expensive. He could imagine your surprise, followed by your smile—the one that actually lit up your eyes and changed your whole face, made you sweeter, almost shy.
I’m buying flowers for a married woman.
The thought managed to make him pause, with a rough exhale of breath. The truth was, he’d crossed the line with you. More than once.
The hard part about it was, he didn’t really care. He did wonder if you cared.
He wondered if you’d be embarrassed to see him again. He wondered if you wanted to keep last night a memory, and nothing more. He wondered if he was better off booking his train home now, and leaving some kind of note for you with Sam. Dean didn’t think he wanted to see that look of mortification on your face, the whiskey finally cleared from your mind to see what he really was: a man with no job, no commitments, and very little prospects on the horizon.
“Ah, ‘scuse me,” a young man said from Dean’s left side.
“Oh, sorry,” Dean said, making way for the guy. He wasn’t quite as tall as Dean, lithe, blonde, and blue-eyed. He grabbed an arrangement of blue and yellow iris flowers from the case and took it up to the front. The florist seemed to recognize him.
“Oh, Michael! Been a while since I’ve seen you,” he said.
When the florist asked about you as well, the mention of your name rang between Dean’s ears. A feeling like inky claws raked through his chest; he raised his head from the roses and finally recognized Michael Milligan. He was the same man Dean had spotted in your wedding pictures hanging on the wall last night, right in the foyer.
“She’s all right,” Michael chuckled. “Truth be told, I’ve been working late this week. Hoping to surprise her tonight, take her out to dinner. Somewhere nice, you know.” 
“Oh, really? Why don’t you take her to that nice steakhouse off of Broadway…” the florist twittered on as he continued to ring up Michael’s order.
Anger and disgust prickled under Dean’s skin, his fists clenched at his sides. More than anything, he wanted to turn around and lay your husband out flat. If he thought one little bouquet and a Salisbury steak was going to wash him clean, then he was an idiot as well as a selfish bastard.
But Dean knew, deep down, that Michael would be just as justified to throw a swing right back at him.
So Dean left the flowers, the flower shop, and the entire busy street and all its blaring sounds behind.
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During your lunch break, you quickly made the trek over to Sam’s office. He’d called you this morning with a story that only confirmed everything you’d inherently felt, and yet, some of it still managed to shock you. 
You didn’t even have the patience to wait until after work, but when you got there, he reassured you. It had taken him a few rounds of poker and discreetly following Michael and Dolores after they exited through the back of the club…but Sam had gotten the evidence not long after. They weren’t exactly discreet in the alley. Or in the nearby motel.
You had the envelope in hand filled with the pictures he’d developed from his camera.  
“You don’t have to look,” he advised. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”
“No, I want to see it,” you said. You took the pictures out, and your expression didn’t change as you look through them all. Each position captured was more compromising than the next between Michael and Dolores Daye. Apparently, he was paying most of her bills as well with your combined household funds. So part of your own money was financing his exploits.
“I’m sorry,” Sam said. He was sincere, with those hazel eyes of his.
You nodded and gave him back the envelope. “What’s next?”
“I went ahead and filed the petition. I’ll take this right to the clerk’s office myself.”
“How long will it take to be over?”
“As long as Michael plays along, should be quick. A few months at most, after he’s served the divorce papers and signs them,” Sam assured.
A few months? That wasn’t quick enough in your book, but you agreed with a nod. You got up from the chair opposite his desk. You hesitated there.
“Oh, I meant to ask…how’s your brother?” you said.
Sam began to smile, but he tempered it. “He just called before you came in. He let me know he was stepping out for a walk.”
“Oh, really? Did he happen to say where?”
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You not only found Dean in Central Park, but close to the very same bench you two had sat on yesterday and talked the night away. He was surprised, but he smiled when he saw you. Your pace quickened, until you were hastening over to him. He welcomed you into his arms. He bent his head towards yours, stopping just shy of kissing you. Instead, he pressed his forehead to yours for a moment.
“Well, look who’s here?” he teased. “How’d you find me?”
“I stopped by Sam’s office,” you said, holding onto the lapels of his coat. A cold November wind pushed at you both, ruffling your clothes. “The paperwork is on its way. Soon enough, I won’t be a married woman anymore.”
He tucked a wild strand of hair behind your ear and smiled, but it didn’t altogether reach his eyes.
“How soon is soon?” he asked.
“A few months, according to your brother.”
Dean nodded, taking a deep breath. “That’s good…but, I need to head home for a little while.”
That made you pause, tilting your head in confusion. Though you supposed it made sense. He was only here visiting his brother. He was planning on going home eventually.
But surely, that was before we… You lowered your gaze.
“Back to Lawrence?” you asked. Again, he nodded.
“I need to take care of some things, figure out my next move,” he said.
You pulled away from him to brace yourself, and not just against the cold. “Well, when will you be back?” 
He stayed quiet, worrying you even more. There was a deep pit forming in your stomach, churning with unease.  
“Dean?” you prodded.
He stepped back in to grasp your arms gently.
“Sweetheart…the truth is, I don’t have much to offer you,” he said. “I don’t have a business to inherit from my folks. I don’t even have a job. I’m a man who was about as useful as a jackhammer, until the war ended.”
You frowned, resting a hand against his chest. “Dean Winchester, that’s not all there is to you.”
“Really. When did you figure that one out, in the whole week you’ve known me?” he asked. It was harsher than he meant to be, but he couldn’t help the words that were spilling out of his mouth. “Didn’t that get you in trouble the first time? I’d a thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now.”
You snatched your hand back, hurt filling your eyes. You turned to walk away before he saw your tears. You should have known. You should have known a man like him would never be serious. Not about you. 
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As soon as he let the words go, Dean realized what he was doing. Yeah, he was frustrated, but it wasn’t aimed at you. It couldn’t be aimed at you.
God knew he didn’t want to hurt you, or for you to hate him. He really couldn’t stomach either thought, so he relented and reached out to grab at your hand, before you could get too far. 
“Wait,” he said, managing to pull you back to him. “I’m sorry.”
You tugged your hand to try and free yourself from his grasp. 
“You know what, maybe you’re right,” you said, your voice wobbling with anger, dismay, and tears. “Maybe I ought to stop letting a man get even an inch into my heart. At this point, it’s my own fault.”
“Stop,” Dean demanded. “No, it’s not.” 
He pulled you back into him, but you looked away from his imploring gaze. Your breaths grew shallow while you tried in vain to stop yourself from crying. It damn well broke his heart.
“It’s not your fault. I’m just an idiot,” He cupped your cheeks and wiped your tears as they fell. “But you…you deserve to be happy. With a man that can take care of you, protect you. A man who has a little more of his life figured out.”
“You’re just saying that so you have an excuse for toying with me. So you can keep chasing skirts,” you said, pushing at his chest. “Yes, your brother told me about all your little exploits.”
Dean took the blow, both proverbial and physical, with a raise of his brows. He guessed he couldn’t blame you for that one. Still, the disdain behind your words stung. He allowed you to break free of him.
You stepped back and straightened your clothes. You took in a deep breath that did nothing to calm you, and you uttered a humorless laugh.
“I suppose it makes sense. Why would you want anything to do with me?” You gestured down at yourself with a dismissive hand. “A-a walking mess. Even when I am divorced, that’s how people will see me. Damaged goods. I don’t even know how I’m gonna tell my parents.”
You covered your face against Dean and the rest of the world, and after weeks and months, you finally allowed yourself the one thing you hadn’t since your first inkling that your husband was being unfaithful. You finally allowed yourself to break.
The first sob shuddered through your body, followed by hot tears. You squeezed your eyes against them and wiped at your face in vain.
Dean broke too, in his own way. He gathered you into his arms, where he shushed you gently and pressed a kiss to your forehead. 
“I wasn’t giving you an excuse,” he said.
Despite how much you wanted to push him away, the deep, steady timbre of his voice pierced you and soothed you at the same time.
“I meant every word I said. I may not be the right guy for you, but don’t you dare take a scrap of what anyone else might say, you hear me?” he said firmly. “You’re beautiful. You don’t suffer fools like me, and you’re better than that sad sack excuse of a man deserves.”
You looked up at him with watery eyes.
“You’re a lot of things, Dean Winchester, but you’re not a fool.”
He shook his head, not wanting to argue with you anymore. He just kissed you, deeply, thoroughly, the way you always imagined a kiss should be.
Except that you realized…this was goodbye. So you took advantage of every second of it.
You met him with as much as he gave and reached up to touch his cheek. It felt a little rough under your fingers, just like you remembered. You would probably always remember that feeling, long after you left the park.
That evening, you packed as many bags as you could. You put together the savings you’d been collecting for a few months. It had been at your coworker Jess’s advice, ever since you started feeling the inkling that something wasn’t right in your marriage.
After you were all packed, you took one last, long look at the space you had tried to make your home. With one last tear trailing your cheek, you stepped out of the apartment. You took the bus uptown, where you later checked into a hotel. 
When your husband finally got home from work, he would find a one-page letter written in your own hand. 
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For once, Sam was actually home in his apartment. He was helping Dean take his suitcase to the front door after calling a taxi to come shortly. Sam wasn’t happy about it though.
“You don’t have to go so soon, Dean,” said Sam.
Dean gave a humorless laugh. He grabbed his coat from the rack and threw it on.
“I’ve gotta get back to the house. It’s already been empty too long,” he said. Three years too long. “Fact is, I’m just getting in your way here.”
He couldn’t quite meet Sam’s eyes as he went to the door, but Sam stopped him with a pressing hand on his arm, tugging him back.
“Hey,” Sam said, his brows furrowed. “That’s not true. Where’d you get that idea?”
Dean raised his brows. “You mean the way you’ve haven’t been home more than a few hours a night? The way the only time I see you is if I go find you at that office. You should open up a Bed n’ Breakfast there. You’d make a double killing in this town.”
Sam wilted. “Dean, we opened the firm barely a month ago. I’m just trying to—”
Dean laid a hand on his shoulder, relenting.
“Hey, look. I’m not judging you, Sammy. I’m not,” he said. “You’re building something. I know that. I just need to go figure out how to do the same, whatever that means for me.”
Sam stared back at him, still with that frown. His guilt and reluctance to see Dean go was reflected in his eyes; those sad puppy dog eyes that used to get him out of almost any punishment with their parents when the boys were young. Before.
The corner of Dean’s mouth kicked up into a smirk.
“Don’t worry. I’ll see you again soon,” he said.
“How soon is soon?” Sam asked. It was something their mother used to say to John whenever he called late, promising he’d come home after long days in town buying supplies for the farm.
“The divorce papers will be served to Michael Milligan,” Sam added, pointedly raising his brows. “She…could use your support.”
Dean’s smile faded at the mention of you. His hand slipped from Sam’s shoulder.
“She’s got a strong head on her shoulders. She’ll be all right,” he said. He heard the honk of the taxi outside. He grabbed up his hat, set it on his head, and took up his bags. He turned back to Sam at the last moment. “I’m sure you’ll look out for her.”
It was somehow both a question, and an imploring charge. Sam sighed, but he nodded in agreement. His brother could be so very stubborn. Once he got an idea of what he thought he needed to do, there was almost no talking him out of it.
Sam opened the door for him and walked him out to the car, helping him with his bags. Before Dean could get into the cab, Sam stopped him. Their gazes met, but in that moment, no words were needed.
They pulled one another into a firm hug.
I’m sorry. I should’ve been there more for you.
Don’t worry about it. It’s already forgotten.
Dean released him first with a smile, and a heavy pat of Sam’s shoulder. He turned and climbed into the cab’s backseat. Afterwards, Sam watched the yellow cab take his brother away to the train station, feeling a weight in his heart that wouldn’t subside.
He would never know that Dean felt exactly the same way. Except that impossible weight felt a lot like your hand, gently laid over his heart.
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Dean took up his suitcase as the train pulled into the station. He stepped up onto the platform and retrieved the ticket from his pocket, but he paused, hearing a familiar voice shouting his name.
He turned his head and saw Sam rushing to meet him at the platform.
“What’s the matter? What’re you doing here?” Dean asked in surprise. He didn’t like the wary apprehension written across Sam’s face.
“I just took a closer look at Milligan’s finances,” he said. “Before you go, there’s something you might want to know.”
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AN: Come on, we needed at least one cliffhanger in this series! 😘 What do you think Sam rushed over to tell Dean? What did you think about their "goodbye," as well as her and Dean's goodbye? ...And are you ready for all the drama that's about to go down? lol 
Next Time:
Except the loud, insistent knock on the door broke you out of your thoughts. Straightening up with a frown, you set down your glass and went over to the door. Maybe it was Housekeeping coming up to bring you the fresh towels you asked for. The ones that had been laid out in the bathroom smelled musty.
You opened the door to a tall frame taking up room in the doorway. It was Michael, standing there both disheveled and steaming mad. He held your letter crumpled in his left hand. 
“Michael, what—what’re you doing here?” you gasped and stepped back. He followed you inside the room and slammed it shut. He looked around at your open suitcases in disbelief, then finally at you.
“What’s this supposed to mean, huh?” he demanded to know. He shook the flimsy piece of paper at you.
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bingbongsupremacy · 1 day ago
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Hey I saw your old post asking which fanfics you should do next. I know it didn’t win but could you please please please do “Tell Me You Love Me Again” with Eddie. Im in dire need of some good angst ❤️
Tell Me You Love Me Again
Sorry this took me so long to write! I have had some massive writer's block. Hopefully, this is okay!
Pairing: Rockstar!Eddie Munson x reader
Story Type: Angst
Warning: Y/N use, swearing, Eddie's a bit of a greedy ass ngl
Summary: You've been with Eddie since before he was famous. It used to be a loving relationship. As the years have passed, things have changed. Can you save the dying spark between you?
*Not Proof Read*
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"Baby, you wanted to talk. Why are we just sitting here in silence?" Eddie asks with a grin. He casually flips through a music magazine, observing all of the new instruments for sale.
I take a deep breath. How do I even start this conversation? He's been so busy launching his band's new line of merch that I doubt this is a great time to talk about our relationship. Who knows when we'll have another opportunity? This is the first time I've been able to see him privately in weeks. I don't know how long I can keep harboring my frustrations.
"We do need to talk...here goes nothing." I sigh. "It's about our relationship."
Eddie pulls his eyes away from his magazine, his smile fading into a serious expression. "What about it?"
"I've been feeling very frustrated lately. I feel like you're never home, and I never get to see you anymore. I miss you." I reply honestly.
Eddie sets the magazine on top of the coffee table that separates us. "I know it's been busy lately, but it's great for us! Now I can take you anywhere you want to go. Name any place, and I can bring you there." Eddie's playful smile returns.
I let out a tired laugh. "Eddie, that's nice and all, but the problem is you don't have the time to take me anywhere I want to go. I just want you to dial it back a bit, please. Spend more time with me, and I'm sure Wayne would love it if you spent some time with him, too."
I'm not even sure if Eddie has time to call Wayne anymore. I might be the only one talking to him regularly.
"I spend plenty of time with Wayne." Eddie's expression is slightly offended.
"It's just the past year; you've rarely been back. Can't you take some time off? Cancel a few tour dates or reschedule some photoshoots?"
"I can't just abandon my career, Y/N. My band has worked so hard for this." Eddie argues. "It wouldn't be fair to the boys."
"What about what's fair to me, Eddie?" I let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not asking you to abandon anything, Eddie. I just think you should prioritize our relationship a little more. We barely see each other anymore!" My heart pounds. "When you're not on tour, you're constantly doing promotional videos or photoshoots. We haven't gone on a date in almost a month."
My flurry of emotions has caused tears to prick the back of my eyes. Fuck, I can't cry right now.
Eddie's shoulders are tense. His usual animated and playful exterior is replaced with a frustrated and angry one. One I rarely see, especially not when talking to me.
"That's part of the job. I'm a fucking rockstar, Y/N. I can't exactly blow off the world tours and photoshoots. My label and manager expects me to get shit out quickly. You don't understand! The moment I stop making songs and producing new shit, the moment all of this, " He gestures around the room to all of his expensive nicknacks and furniture. "disappears. I'll become irrelevant. My band will become irrelevant. This is my life, Y/N. And you're going to need to learn to accept it."
My frown deepens. "Do you hear yourself? How can you not see how greedy you're becoming? What happened to just loving music? Loving the art of creating, no matter how many people heard. When did this all become about money?" I stand up from my spot on Eddie's couch, needing to put some distance between myself and the man. I avoid making eye contact with him, knowing if I do, I'll burst into tears.
This room suddenly feels so suffocating. "Is this really all you care about? How many shows you can sell out? How deep your pockets can get?"
"For fucks sake, Y/N." Eddie groans as he leans back against his recliner. His head hits the back of the seat, an annoyed expression flashing across his face. "You're being so fucking dramatic."
I shake my head. "This is not what I signed up for. You are not the man I signed up to be with."
Eddie stiffens. Hurt crosses his eyes. His face turns stoic as he looks me dead in the eye. A dark anger replaces his hurt. "Things change. People change. Obviously, I've changed. If you hate me so fucking much, why don't you get the fuck out and find someone new? Someone who better suits your lifestyle since you're not happy with me."
I freeze. My heart drops at his bitter words. He's never spoken to me like this before.
He's so different than the man I fell in love with all those years ago. Life seemed simpler in Hawkins. I'd work the night shift at The Hideout and he'd play with his band. I was able to see him regularly while he was still able to do what he loved. No massive world tours to separate us for months. No partying until early the next day. Just the two of us, supporting each other and doing what we loved.
I feel my cheeks heat from embarrassment and anger. He's right. He's changed, and it's obviously been for the worse. "You know what, you're right."
Eddie's eyes widen slightly in surprise, like he didn't think I'd agree.
"You don't want to work this out like an adult, so I'm going to leave. We're done, Eddie. I can't do this anymore. I deserve someone willing to set aside time for me. I shouldn't be the only one giving 100% to the relationship. I need someone who respects me and what I need. You can't give that to me." I grab my purse from the couch. I pause right before I reach the door. " Eddie, " I turn to look back at the man.
He doesn't meet my gaze. His eyes are trained on his locked hands. He looks like he's in disbelief.
"I hope you find what you're looking for. Just know that you'll never have enough money or fame to please yourself. Materialistic things can only bring you so much happiness. You'll suffer until you realize that. I just hope it isn't too late when you finally do."
With that, I leave the apartment. As soon as the door behind me clicks shut, the tears begin to fall. I lean against the wall near Eddie's door and wrap my arms around myself for some sort of support.
I wish he loved me enough to apologize. I wish he would come out here, tell me he was wrong, and that he was going to try to fix things.
I finally garner the strength to push away from Eddie's wall and make my way downstairs. With every step, I think of new things I wish Eddie would do.
When I take my last step out of the apartment building, disappointment settles in my chest as I realize none of my wishes came true.
Eddie's a rockstar. He'll never love me as much as he loves his lifestyle.
I was stupid to think he'd always be the man I fell in love with in Hawkins, Indiana.
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yingdu-lover · 23 hours ago
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I am a fucking idiot- ahem. But first,
People, we need to talk more about The Tides. I am so serious. Apart from The Eye and Lull this season, The Tides (I want to yap more about its cinematic brilliance) explicitly supports shiguang canon. While other OP and ED of the first two seasons have a variety of themes entangled together, the whole point of The Tides is drawing a clear parallel between the old man with the time machine trying to go back in time to save his beloved wife (and his wife's photo is shattered by gunshots) and whatever the heck is going on with Lu Guang (Now, after Yingdu, add parallels of Shao Yuanyuan's attempt of saving her husband and Xia Fei's resolution of finding the culprit who caused Vein's death. You are welcome.)
I want to talk specifically about this scene
first,
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We see Lu Guang is the one holding a sketchbook (safe to say it belonged to that man) and he is gazing into the sketches. He assumes that man's position (also the fact that Lu Guang has a personal diary where he might not draw but keeps a lot of information about timelines).
And...
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This brilliant rack shot.
Idk why I didn't notice it before (I have seen it multiple times but today I just 'got' it).
So, in the first shot, let's see what constitutes the mise-en-scene : Cheng Xiaoshi, a portrait of the lady (whose hands are only shown) and the statue of the lady. It's not white light all over, rather there is a little play of light and shadow. The background wall as well as the statue is green. Overall, there is a green tint. Film nerds and enthusiasts, please explain the lighting and colour palate further if you can find some significance.
Now,
in the first shot, Cheng Xiaoshi is in the focus. He has a strange (pensive) look and he is looking at the statue. Then, the focus shifts to the statue and everything else fades into the background. In this simple editing, you realise that- Cheng Xiaoshi and the statue of the lady are somehow connected, connected by the same fate. I can't really explain how but the cinematography establishes the relation beautifully.
Edit 1 : Hi, I wanted to add a few things. Thanku @whispersoflullaby for engaging with it
also, please read @psychopomp-namine their repost.
A few reflections I didn't elaborate before
The woman's face in the portrait is absent in the frame and the lifelessness of the otherwise beautiful statue is intensified by the (intentional) lack of the eyes. So Cheng Xiaoshi's presence in the frame balances this out. Face is the most important part of someone's identity and eyes are one the most important features of someone's face. Eyes also have a higher level of significance in Link Click, associated with power activation, sense, perception, past, future, memory. And ofc, Cheng Xiaoshi's death scene and power (trust/life) transfer to Lu Guang - there is a HUGE focus on the eyes, extreme close ups. And this brings us to the second point,
Consciousness, subjectivity, perspective, reliable/unreliable narration .
My interpretation of the colour green here is unreliable narration or lack of subjectivity, with a feeling of something changing. Cheng Xiaoshi's pensive look makes us think that he knows something, something unsettling but we can't quite grasp that. His subjectivity is yet to be known. His vision is literally shared (and commanded) by Lu Guang and a big portion of Cheng Xiaoshi is constructed out of Lu Guang's perception of him. How would Cheng Xiaoshi write back to that? Cheng Xiaoshi is a mystery and The Tides prepares us for his development in season 3.
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mintjuliee · 15 hours ago
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Dear Mom, My darkroom is all set up and ready to go! I brought Bolin to help me clear out the spare room Aunt Lin said I could use, but when we arrived, it was pretty much already empty. Bolin helped me organize my equipment and get it into place. He also sniffed the inside of the development chemical bottles when he thought I wasn't looking. I am pretending I didn't see it.
Anyway, I am eager to put my new workspace to use. For better or worse, there is so much going on in Republic City right now, and I feel as though I can't let the moments slip by undocumented. One day I want be able to look back and grasp the magnitude of what happened, even if it isn't so beautiful to look at. I also want to know that we— me, Aunt Lin, Korra, Asami, Bolin, Mako, Tenzin, the airbenders, all the volunteers— rallied together to help in any way that we could. It is eerie to see so much rubble and destruction, but beyond that, it is the knowing that every building, every shattered storefront, was the life and legacy of so many people. One that they can't get back. I've even caught Aunt Lin staring out the window with a funny look in her eye. There is a growing sense that things are never going to quite be what they were. I just hope whatever comes along next will help all of these people put their lives back together.
As I am sure you can tell, there is something a little off about my latest photo. Bolin was the one that took it. I explicitly told him to get a shot of Aunt Lin and me to send back home but he took some creative liberties. I would have made him retake it, but it was the last one in the roll. I almost didn't develop it all, but I figured it might make you laugh. Aunt Lin was less amused by his seemingly endless capacity for misinterpreting instructions. I am not so sure he is going to last in this line of work. Though, you know Bolin, nothing can kill his spirit. The few times I have asked Aunt Lin how he is doing working for the RCPD has produced mostly grumbling punctuated by a gruff "... he's a good kid."
I miss you by the way, all of you. I thought about coming to visit, but Juicy's allergies have been acting up worse than usual and I don't want her to strain herself. I hope we can get together soon. Love, Opal
P.S. Do you recognize this photo? Aunt Lin pulled it out of one of her desk drawers and tossed it my way. She said I could keep it if I wanted to add it to my collection or something. I thought it would be best to send it your way for safekeeping. Though, I would like to know if there is any sort of story behind it.
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Kofi☕ / Art Tag / Read it On AO3 Opal's Camera: Letter 1 Letter 2 Lore 1
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shehungers · 1 day ago
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CRACKS KNUCKLES let's get to business, Kiri
I want to say that this was SO MUCH FUCKING FUN to read! I'm not much of a superhero-loving gal, but spider-man is one of those heroes that is much more approachable and likeable than a lot of other ones. you "friendly neighborhood spider-man" after all. so, I'm glad that you chose that to go with and that you used Caleb as the hero because it just fucking fits so well!
before I dig in, just know that I haven't played LADS for a long time and certainly haven't played any of Caleb's storyline. so, I can't really make any comment on characterization besides what exists about him in the early parts of the game. if we're going based off of that, this feels very authentic and loyal to his character.
going off of my opinion of how you wrote a character like him: exquisite. you gave me the impression of a responsible older sibling or caretake with a mischievous streak. particularly in regards to the playful banter they share throughout the story, which is equal parts so bratty and caring and sweet that I love, love, love it!!!
a lot of the details you used to describe their relationship: Caleb usually does the cooking, but they dutifully split chores, eat together, consistently yapping with each other throughout the day, that worrying "stay safe" "be home before curfew" "I'll be home for dinner" stuff is just so domestic and ordinary, but something about how you used it in this fic is just so comforting to me; their normalcy is cozy and familiar and loving and lifelong and you did it SO well!!!
one thing I'll mention before I forget is when you were talking about jumping ahead/around w/o dividers or a time skip and having worries about it: don't be. I was purposefully searching for an, ah, rough division in the fic so I could maybe offer a suggestion on improvement. If you did do that, it's nothing so obvious that I noticed it at all!!! I think what "jumps" you did made sense for the narrative and were well-placed, so great work there!!!
what I will get out of the way in terms of a critique, but it's a light one: the length of some paragraphs did become a bit tedious here and there to get through. it's not always easy to figure out how to split up massive thoughts like that bc it all feels relevant to fit into one place, but it makes for more approachable readability to break them down a bit. and I'm saying this as someone who has tendencies to do exactly the same thing.
my proofreaders will tell me to dial it back or split things up sometimes bc I can get so, ah, wordy.
however, I'm also giving you credit here that your readability and flow is excellent! for the most part, I was able to keep scrolling down on my phone without experiencing any hangups, any awkwardness in phrasing or reading. so, truly, wonderful work with that bc achieving good flow can be a difficult task.
okay, that's all I can think of off the top of my head, so I'm dropping screenshots of stuff to yap about:
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so fucking same oh my god. I feel this so bad and would've done exactly the same.
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there is just something so particularly human and sweet about this paragraph that I just really adore. It does sort of give that childlike idolization where we mimicked people we admired, were inspired by the things they did. But, I love this in the context of mc being an adult and using it as motivation to overcome life challenges. idk idk I just love it
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oh my GOD—same. thief running off with my shit? but the crosswalk has 10 more seconds 😫😫😫😫😫 so fucking real. mc is so real for this.
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okay, now we're getting into the stuff that I live for when it comes to writing nuanced or small details. agitation causing sleeplessness; overstimulation by way of hyper vigilance, clothes feeling rough? these are excellent little details that can really bring depth into pieces. these are the sort of details that people can feel. the rough clothes are coarse and itch, y'know?
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there wasn't much conflict in this fic, which is a-okay, but one thing that I particularly liked was mc's borderline paranoia and hang-up over the fact that he had kept secrets and lied to mc, which I think leans really well into their bond and sort of dynamic that they have. this little passage really stood out to me and was quite potent.
and, the last one:
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I also like that in this fic, it was less an issue of caleb's dual-idenities vs MC and more mc vs MC, bc I feel like this entire section you wrote was basically mc internally warring with their own insecurities and fears, rather than having any true issues with Caleb. You present Caleb as surefooted—he knows what he wants, what he's doing, what he's committed to. he is unwavering, he is a solid force and doesn't budge once. that includes his dedication to mc.
MC is the one who wavers and worries and frets and withdraws because it takes them a long time to come to terms with the change and how their lives were going to be inevitably altered forever. and I REALLY love that that's the vibe I got from everything bc sometimes the war within yourself is worse than exists against others, y'know?
I think you did really well exploring all of that!
overall, kiri, I can see all of the heart and work you've put into this piece and I'm so proud of you that you saw it until the end. you have every right to be excited over this piece bc you did the concept justice and executed it beautifully!!!!!!!!
Homecoming
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You’re a casual fan, you think. Spider-Man is cool, and you just really like him. That’s all... until you learn that the friendly neighbourhood web-slinger is so much closer than you think.
PAIRING.⠀Xia Yizhou | Caleb x Reader
CONTENT.⠀female reader | superhero AU & Spider-Man Caleb | descriptions of anxiety, fluff, happy ending, mentions of blood and bruises, secrets, slice-of-life (as much as it can possibly be), some angst and hurt/comfort | ~7,6k words
A/N.⠀I really said "I'm going on a writing hiatus" and "I'm gonna lock in" with my whole chest knowing damn well I'm a liar ... anyway yeah this fic was inspired by this Spider-Man Caleb fanart... it made me go crazy.... I hope you enjoy!
available on AO3 | reblogs and comments are always appreciated!
@hunters-association @theseabreezestreet
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You were on the verge of a breakthrough. You just knew it.
You were absentmindedly swinging your legs back and forth as you sat at the table. Your laptop was open and displaying several windows—some were images of Spider-Man, some were news articles. Your tablet, and in turn, your notes, had gone completely forgotten. Spending time passively scrolling social media was far from productive, but compared to what you were reading, exam revision was totally dull.
Developing an interest in Spider-Man had been unintentional. You saw him mentioned in the news. Out of curiosity, you looked him up, and all of a sudden, you found yourself deep in the rabbit hole. Before long, you were up-to-date with daily news, keeping up with his movements and making friends with fellow Spider-Man fans. It was swift and unexpected, but you found it more fun than whatever you were previously doing.
He was far from the first superhero Linkon City had seen. There used to be rumours about the God of the Tides and how he ruled the seas for centuries before he found the love of his life. There was also Lumière of the N109 zone, a vigilante who suddenly stopped being active about fourteen years ago. Legends of the Abysm Sovereign and the Foreseer were passed down through generations. No one had proof they existed, only the product of their labour. It was as if they didn’t want to be seen. Still, that didn’t stop your interest from getting piqued.
The difference between Spider-Man and the past legends of Linkon City was that Spider-Man was still active. A web-slinging genius with a no-kill rule, he made the streets significantly safer. Photos and surveillance footage of him were constantly shared, but no one had any luck finding his identity yet. You weren’t investigating him for malicious reasons. You were just, for the lack of a better word, nosy. You wanted to know the man behind the mask instead of the neighbourhood guardian the news always talks about.
You looked at your screen. There was a rough timeline of his appearances the past week. He was in different parts of the city, catching robbers and other criminals with his presumably handmade technology. There wasn’t a strict pattern to how he operated. It seemed that he liked to lurk before making a move. It was how he brought down the corrupted colonels of the Farspace Fleet. Fighting crime appeared to be easy for him, and he wasn’t as destructive as some were. It was impressive. Everything he did had you in awe. His dexterity and swiftness, his strength and courage—he was just what Linkon City needed, you thought.
Just as you were about to go into another deep dive, a hand pushed your laptop shut. Caleb was towering over you when you snapped your gaze to him, brows furrowed as you gave him an offended look. He lightly jabbed your forehead and only smiled in response, seemingly pleased with your reaction.
“You’re supposed to be studying.”
You sputtered. “I was studying!”
“No, you weren’t. You were looking at Spider-Man again.” He tapped his fingers on your tablet, reilluminating the screen once more. “Your exams are next week. You need to focus.”
“I can multitask,” you argued half-heartedly. “And, I’ve never let you down, have I?”
Caleb took the seat across from you with an exaggerated sigh. “I guess not.”
“Why do you hate Spider-Man so bad anyway?” You frowned, trying to move his hand away. He didn’t budge. “He’s keeping the city safe. That’s a good thing!”
“I don’t hate him, but you’ve been distracted. I’m trying to help you.”
“You sound jealous,” you joked. Resting your cheek in the palm of your hand, you looked up at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Are you sad I’m not giving you enough attention?”
He pursed his lips, visibly unimpressed. “Set the table. Dinner’s ready.”
“You’re no fun!” you whined. “It’s not my fault there’s finally something interesting!”
You begrudgingly moved your items to the side and got up to make your way to the kitchen, slippers sliding against the floor. The savoury aroma swirled into the air, making your stomach growl involuntarily. Your irritation now forgotten, you made quick work of setting the table and pouring two glasses of water. With your job finished, you waited at the table, eyes drifting over to the TV on the wall. The screen displayed two reporters behind a desk beginning the evening segment. It faded into a clip of men webbed stuck to a lamppost, undoubtedly the work of Spider-Man himself. They were looking to rob an innocent passerby before the webslinger caught them red-handed.
“Huh. That’s where we live,” you spoke up after rereading the headline.
Caleb placed the plates on the table. “That’s why I always tell you to be home before curfew.”
“It’s not like I break curfew anyway,” you grumbled. “You know I hate being out when it’s dark.”
Distracted, you kept your eyes on the screen. The public had mixed opinions about Spider-Man himself. You, along with your circle of friends, thought of him as a hero, feeling safer knowing that he was out there protecting innocent people. From helping an old woman cross the street to busting evil plans, he was using his talents and intelligence for good. He worked tirelessly every day to keep the streets pristine and harmless. The police, on the other hand, weren’t as fond of him. The LCPD openly expressed their distaste for Spider-Man, citing that he was an obstacle in their investigations. Some people thought he was just another guy with a gimmick. These criticisms didn’t seem to bother him at all. If anything, every time someone said anything negative about him, he’d work even harder just to prove them wrong.
You knew it was far from wise to idolise a public figure, but with Spider-Man, he inspired you to do your best every day. You liked to imagine he’d be proud of you if he knew you. You worked hard and powered through no matter how many setbacks you had. As silly and childish as it sounded, he made for great motivation. He was a good guy, he was cool, and—
Caleb waved his hand in front of your face, a warning tone in his voice. “Pipsqueak.”
You jolted, snapping back to the present. “Sorry!”
“Why do you like Spider-Man so much?” he asked, poking at his food. “You got a crush on him?”
You sputtered. “What? No!”
He gave you a look that urged you to continue. Heat rose to your face as you felt a spotlight shining down upon you, giving you the floor. It was hard not to feel embarrassed about something that felt so childish. You hummed thoughtfully, trying to think of words to say. Knowing you were going to sound like a child regardless, you sulked, defeated, and finally gave him a response.
“It’s just… I really like superheroes,” you mumbled timidly, fiddling with your fingers. “I admire people who use their strength for good. Like you!”
The corners of his lips twitched. He seemed pleased. “So do you like me or Spider-Man more?”
“You are jealous!” you said with an accusatory tone. “Caleb, it’s not like that! It’s like… You know when you have a favourite celebrity? That’s what Spider-Man is to me.”
He made a face, though he ended up relenting. “Okay. I get it.”
“Yeah! It’s kinda like how you used to like—”
“Your food’s gonna get cold,” he interrupted, flustered. “I put all my effort into making your favourite. Don’t let it go to waste.”
“Fine,” you drawled out, unable to hold back the smile from stretching across your lips.
Spider-Man eventually faded to the back of your mind throughout dinnertime. You found yourself engrossed in conversation with Caleb, slipping into the normal banter and routine with ease. Somewhere in between, he changed the channel to natural documentaries instead. When you gave him a questioning look, he just shrugged and said that you should take a break with him. Not one to deny his requests, your laptop went forgotten as you spent the remainder of the night on the couch with him.
It was nearing midnight, and from the way that you yawned, you were nearing your limit as well. The documentary was long finished; the past few minutes were just advertisement after advertisement, regular products with unnecessarily catchy jingles. You glanced over at him, suddenly curious. Unlike you, he didn’t seem to be tired at all. If you were more awake, you’d notice the anxious bouncing of his leg or the worried furrow in his brow, but fatigue was catching up to you fast. With another yawn, you pushed yourself to your feet, taking the throw blanket with you.
“Goodnight, Caleb.”
He smiled at you. “Goodnight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Fully sated and worn out, sleep came as easily as breathing. Images flickered behind your eyes, displaying dreams and vignettes in film reels. You dreamt of endless summers and sweetness, of growing up and exploring the world. When you woke up the next day, only a fragment of those memories remained. Caleb was already gone when you left your room. He left a note saying he’d left early and that breakfast was in the fridge. After treating yourself to his homemade cooking, you set off for classes and got the day started. It wasn’t very eventful. Classes weren’t particularly interesting. Lectures were about things you already knew, and a majority of your classmates were absent, leading to little to no conversation. Before long, the academic day was over, and it was time to return home.
The streets were bustling with activity as you waded through the crowd. Clamour and chatter were more than loud, people surrounded you, and the scent of car fumes mixed with savoury food bombarded all of your senses. You were starting to see now why people liked to say that Linkon City never sleeps. With everyone getting off work, the city was beyond crowded. Restaurants were fully seated, as were the cafés. Traffic went by incredibly slowly. Dogs barked to the sound of car horns and people were emerging from the train station in groups. You gripped your bag tightly, anxiety clawing at the back of your mind. News and posters about pickpockets were nearly a regular occurrence; it was better to be safe than sorry.
You managed to make it to a street where there were less people. You recognised some of the vendors out and about, offering them warm smiles as you walked past. Occasionally, you stopped by and bought a few snacks to take home. Now having your hands full, you were more than ready to go home and unwind. You hummed a catchy pop tune under your breath, leisurely walking down the path when the TV screens in the electronic stores came alive. You came to a stop, standing in front of the clear glass. It was a news segment. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the screen displaying surveillance of Spider-Man was context enough.
He single-handedly stopped a burglary, moving with inhuman agility and fighting with incredible strength. It showed a group of men bound together by his webs, cursing and fruitlessly struggling to break free. It took a few seconds before the familiarity of the background sank in. The convenience store, the townhouses and the DVD store… The incident happened not too far from home. A frown overtook your features. Despite the crime rate being significantly lower thanks to Spider-Man’s efforts, the curfew was still in place, and the unrest remained. It was not any different for you.
As you made a move to continue your walk, you felt something being snatched from your grasp—your bag. The thief ran at full speed, deftly navigating through the crowd as you yelled for help and followed him, aggressive footfalls slapping against the concrete. Absentminded apologies left your lips whenever a complaint was heard from a passerby. Your chest was beginning to ache, but you needed it back. It had everything. Your phone, your wallet, your house keys with the chain Caleb bought for you. You couldn’t afford to lose it.
The traffic light turned red just as the thief crossed to the other side. You contemplated just dashing through, but anxiety kept you rooted to your spot. They were going further into the distance. You bounced on your heels nervously, eyes glaring at the timer. 40, 39, 38…
It was now or never.
Cars honked at you as you ran to the other side, the combination of noise nearly sending you jumping out of your skin. You pushed through your fatigue and kept running until you tripped over your shoelaces, collapsing to the ground with a loud thud. You hopelessly reached out, watching the thief’s silhouette disappear into the distance. Tears of frustration sprang up to your eyes and you buried your face in your hands, uncaring of how you looked to other people. You weren’t fast enough. All your important things were gone, about to be left somewhere you could never find, and your information would be stolen—
“This yours?”
Your bag was dangling in front of you. Were you so distraught that you were hallucinating having someone come to your aid? You blinked and stared at it dumbly, your mind trying to grapple with the situation. The person crouched down to your level, and Spider-Man’s face came into view.
Wait…
You screamed in surprise, frantically pushing yourself away from him. “What—”
“Hey, hey, It’s okay. It’s just me. I webbed him. He’ll be stuck there for another three hours,” he said casually, speaking as though he was just another regular pedestrian and not the famed vigilante of Linkon City. “I had to look at your ID card to make sure it was you, but I’m glad I got to you in time. Here, take it.”
You barely managed to catch the bag as you were still gawking at him. What felt like a thousand questions were popping up rapidly in your head. How did he know? When did he get here? What was going on? How was he so fast? Caught off guard by your stunned silence, he brought a hand up to scratch the back of his head sheepishly, feeling awkward under your stare.
“Everything okay?” Spider-Man asked tentatively, waving a hand in front of your face. “Are you hurt?”
You shook your head, your reaction slightly delayed. “N-No.”
“Listen, I have to go. There’s gonna be a robbery on Ninth Street.” He helped you get on your feet, carefully making sure you had your balance. “Get home safe, okay? And don’t leave past curfew.”
“Okay,” you said, dumbfounded. It didn’t take long before you managed to snap yourself back to awareness. “Yeah, okay. Thank you for getting this back to me.”
He did a casual salute before aiming his web shooter at a building, swinging away with ease. Digging through your bag, you were relieved to find that everything was intact. Once the confusion went away, excitement came rushing in. You hastily grabbed your phone and dialled Caleb’s number, lips curling into a grin. He picked up after the first ring.
“What’s up?”
“You will not believe what just happened to me,” you said in one breath. “I just met Spider-Man.”
A loud crash was heard in the background.
You hesitated. “Are you busy? It sounds like you’re in the middle of something…”
“Everything’s fine, don’t worry about it. So, you met Spider-Man?”
You nodded, forgetting that he couldn’t see you.
“Uh, pipsqueak?”
“What? Oh, yeah. I did! I’m walking home right now. Someone tried to steal my wallet and I couldn’t catch them, but Spider-Man did and he got it back for me. Isn’t that crazy?”
“Someone tried to rob you?” You could practically hear the frown in his voice. “Why didn’t you call me?”
You blinked. “You’re at work. What were you gonna do?”
He fell silent. It took a couple of beats before he spoke up again.
“Well, I’m glad you got your stuff back. Just make sure to be home before sundown. Tell me when you’re back, okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be back in time for dinner, I promise.”
“It’s okay! Take your time,” you reassured him. “I’m heading home now. See you.”
You had a pep in your step for the rest of the way, feeling in high spirits after the encounter. The weight on your shoulders was lifted, leaving you feeling lighter. You didn’t realise how much you needed to breathe. Relieved would be an understatement—it was as if everything fixed itself in front of you. You didn’t generally consider yourself a lucky person, but today, you had won. The encounter with Spider-Man replayed itself in your mind, echoing his voice, reminding you of the proximity you shared.
After sending Caleb a quick text to let him know you got back safely, you began to cool down from the day. You tossed your keys on the counter and went straight for your room, determined to change out of your sweaty clothes. Since he was normally the one to cook dinner, you didn’t have to do much preparation in the kitchen. You put away the clean dishes, washed the leftover ones in the sink, and decided to tidy up a little. With your tasks done, you returned to the living room and flopped down onto the couch with a groan. Though you didn’t hold high expectations for what was on TV, you turned it on for background noise anyway, half-listening to the dialogue in the show that was playing.
The clock on the wall continued to tick. Caleb would get off work soon. You ended up smiling to yourself, excited to tell him about your day. Lying comfortably on the couch, you continued to passively scroll through social media to kill time. You were beginning to hear the telltale sounds of people returning home. The sound of a car door closing, your neighbour’s doorbell ringing, eager dogs overjoyed to see their owner home. Considering the traffic you’d seen earlier, Caleb returning a little later than usual wouldn’t be that irregular.
With that in mind, your worries were eased a little. But as minutes faded into hours, nighttime came, and not a single call or message from Caleb was seen. Worried, you sent him a text, only for them to be left on delivered. Calling him led straight to voicemail. Growing increasingly agitated, you called him again and again, only to achieve the same result. He always told you if he was going to be late. He always picked up after the first ring. But your attempts to get through to him went unseen, and it was getting harder trying not to sink into your anxiety the longer his silence went.
You paced around the room, fingers clutching your phone as the call went to voicemail again. Your eagerness for dinner had long dissipated and was replaced by immense dread. Worst-case scenarios were starting to appear in your mind, fuelling your panic with its increasingly violent visions. You chewed on your nail as you paced back and forth, trying to reach Caleb to no avail. The situation was growing more dire with each passing second.
You glanced at the time. It was three in the morning. You were wide awake on pure adrenaline and distress. You couldn’t bring yourself to feel tired. It was as though all of your senses were on high alert. Everything was too loud, too much, and your clothes felt rough against your skin. Instinctively, you made your way into his room and crawled into his bed, hugging his pillow and rocking back and forth. The smell of his detergent and perfume soothed you enough to have you breathing normally again. Your fingertips dug into the material, knuckles going white and shaking from how rigid your grip was.
The world started to feel less daunting when you finally calmed down. You felt exhausted, completely boneless. Your eyelids were getting heavier, and as you lay there surrounded by everything he owned, you found yourself falling slowly. The room is dim with only the city lights outside peeking in through the curtains. You felt a cold draft coming through the window, sending shivers running down your spine. Fabric rustled and you felt the mattress dip, immediately jolting you awake. A mixture of relief and fury washed over you.
“Caleb?”
His breath hitched.
You blindly patted the nightstand in search of the lamp switch. Once the room was illuminated, you squinted at him through half-lidded eyes. “Where the hell have you been?” you asked groggily. “I’ve been—”
Your eyes dropped to his outfit. It was the same suit that Spider-Man wore, although more torn and worn down. Whatever tiredness was left in your system dissipated when you saw him. You sat still for a few moments, trying to contemplate whether you were imagining things or if this was real. You didn’t know where to begin. It was as if time stopped. There he was, the person you had been waiting for, standing at the foot of the bed like a deer caught in the headlights. You stared at him with your mouth agape, your mind struggling to put the pieces together despite the obviousness in front of you.
You didn’t know where to begin. Did he always sneak back home like this? What happened to him? In the end, you settled for the most urgent one in your mind—
“How long have you been hiding this from me?”
He forced a smile, the gesture awkward and tense. “A couple of months.”
“Months?” you asked, voice rising in volume. “You’ve been—you—god, I don’t even know what to say.”
“I’m sorry.”
You pursed your lips. “Come here.”
He tentatively complied, sitting down in the spot next to you. Your hands cradled his face, thumbs brushing over the bruises and making him grimace slightly. He didn’t say a single word. It was as if he was also dumbfounded himself. You were still upset, but the longer you looked at him, the more the anger faded. At least he was home. Injured, but still home in one piece. It was leagues better than the thousands of scenarios your mind was conjuring up earlier.
“You have a lot of explaining to do.”
“I know,” he murmured, voice uncharacteristically meek. It was unlike the Caleb you grew up with.
“But it can wait,” you said, pulling him into a hug. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I was worried about you.”
His arms wrapped themselves around your waist and he held you close to him, a shaky breath escaping his lips. He held onto you with a desperation you’d never seen before. He relaxed into your touch just the slightest, reassured by feeling your warm body against his. You pressed your cheek to where his heart would be, feeling its steady rhythm remind you that he was here—that he was home.
Your voice was meek when you spoke. “I thought you left me.”
“I didn’t want to worry you.”
“So you decided with radio silence?” you snarked back. Something in his expression flickered, making you calm down once again. You frowned at the amount of bruises visible on his face and the dried blood on his split lip. Softening, you told him, “Go take a shower and get changed. I’ll patch you up.”
He didn’t argue. He only nodded and disappeared into the bathroom, walking sluggishly. The sound of running water filled the stifling stillness as you took a proper glance around the room. There was an evidence board, several open books, and a well-used first aid kit on the desk. Your heart sank. Just how long had he been doing this, getting himself hurt and having to mend himself? Didn’t he trust you? Why did he keep this a secret from you? You heaved out a sigh and hid your face in your hands, frustration and sadness simmering beneath the surface.
There were a lot of questions you wanted to ask, but this wasn’t the right time. Right now, all you could do was be there for him.
He emerged a handful of minutes later, dressed in comfortable clothes. You scooted over and patted the space next to you, lips pressed in a taut frown. Now that the suit was off, you could see the hits he’d taken more clearly. Splashes of blue and purple were scattered across his skin, some big and some small. There were a couple of cuts and scrapes close by, both old and new. It was the worst you’d ever seen him.
“Sit,” you urged timidly. You gingerly applied the ointment on his bruises, careful not to hurt him as he stared up at you. He looked so vulnerable and so fragile that it made you feel like your heart was going to burst out of its confines. “Talk to me. Please.”
“It was Gran,” he said. “She made a serum. I didn’t know it until a few days later. I was stronger, faster… I could hear everything. I could feel everything.”
“How come I never knew this?”
“I didn’t want to worry you. I’m supposed to be your hero, remember?” He laughed in a self-deprecating way, avoiding your gaze. “I had to stay strong. Figure things out, get stronger… Make sure you’d always be safe.”
Setting the first aid kit aside, you pulled him into your arms once again. He held onto you tightly, fingers grabbing the fabric of your shirt so tightly that his hands were trembling. You raked your fingers through his hair and brushed them back, keeping them away from the wounds on his face. For a moment, it felt like there were only the two of you in the world. All you could hear was his quiet breathing as he latched onto you, unwilling to let go.
It broke your heart to see him this way.
“I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t rely on me.”
“No, that’s not it,” he sighed. “I’d go through anything for you. I just… I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t keep any secrets from me anymore.” You pulled away. He looked up at you with a pained expression, years of secrecy and isolation making themselves known in his glossy eyes, the quiver of his bottom lip. “Can you do that for me?”
He nodded weakly.
“I need words, Caleb,” you said, your voice firmer than intended. You cupped the side of his face, feeling him clasp your hand with his own, warm and calloused. “Can you promise me that?”
“I can,” he exhaled shakily. “I promise.”
The tears you were holding back brimmed at the corners of your eyes, small droplets sliding down the sides of your face. A hushed whimper broke out of you. Caleb held on to you like you were his lifeline, refusing to let go for even a split second. The gravity of his words weighed heavy, as did him baring his heart. He melted in your embrace, sinking deep into your comfort as you gently scratched his scalp, easing every worry he was holding.
“Don’t lie to me again, okay?” you murmured into his ear.
“I won’t anymore. I swear.”
Though months seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye, the emotional turmoil stayed deep in your heart the entire time.
Life had turned completely upside down. With the new knowledge of him being Spider-Man looming over you, you were having trouble placing yourself. Some days, you felt excited and happy for him. He was more open with you when it came to his successes. He’d tell you about the petty criminals he caught or the passersby he helped while swinging through the city. He was passionate about his identity as Spider-Man, and he was committed. You wanted to support him in every step of the way. Some days, you’d feel like you were sinking. You previously didn’t worry all too much when Caleb returned home late, but since that day, fear and anxiety kept you company on lonely nights.
He didn’t always return looking completely beat up. Sometimes he was unscathed. Sometimes it was just a couple of bruises. But you hated being home alone, especially in the dark where everything seemed to get much worse. You were losing sleep because you’d stay up to wait for him to come home. You needed to see him with your own eyes, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to go to sleep in peace. He tried to give you estimated times to soothe you, but it didn’t always work. You’d wait in the living room, rock yourself back and forth as you wondered if he was coming home.
Your mind wouldn’t let you forget that he lied, either. You already forgave him a long time ago, but you remembered. You’d question yourself, question him, and what would come after was an overwhelming sense of guilt. He was trying. He was more open. He was showing you an important part of himself, bringing you along with him on his journey, yet doubts still lingered in your mind. He kept his cheerful disposition, constantly reassuring you that everything was going to be fine, but your mind was filled with what-ifs. What if he was hiding more from you? What if he was lying? What if he thought of you as a burden?
It was irrational to feel this way. You knew that very well, and yet, you still felt like you were fading out of his life. You talked to Caleb normally, interacted with him like you always did, but something felt different. It was as if he was drifting further and further away from you. Your outstretched hand, desperately trying to reach him, and his fading silhouette. Everything had changed. You felt like you were losing him in real time and there was nothing you could do about it. Everything had changed, yet it was all the same. You still had breakfast together. He still picked up the phone after the first ring. He still smiled at you, looked at you like you were his whole world. You were teetering between security and uncertainty. You didn’t want to feel this way, but you were helpless. These feelings came by themselves, and the more time you spent alone, the more difficult it became to ignore them.
Your sentiments towards Spider-Man had only grown stronger with the knowledge that Caleb was him. His name was more well-known in the city, growing popular among kids and women, and he was constantly being praised by the press. You supported him. You had total faith in him, trusted in him and his strength. But sometimes you’d stay awake stressing about how safe things truly were. More fame meant more notoriety among criminals, and you’d often wonder how long it would be before something drastic happened. You wanted the best for him, you really did, but something guttural gnawed at you. The desire to keep him to yourself, the need to protect him. You wanted to sink your teeth into his flesh, to keep him in your maw. You wanted to hide him away somewhere only you knew.
You dreamt of it sometimes—of risking your life for him just to keep him safe. You constantly wondered if things would be easier for him if you left. You knew there was much that he wasn’t sharing with you yet. You knew it would take time regardless of how much he trusted you, Still, you felt as though you were being kept in the dark. Being Spider-Man seemed to be so easy for him. It suited him, even. You couldn’t see anyone else doing the same thing that he did. But you didn’t know what you were meant to be. You felt for him very deeply, as did he, but the vagueness in the air bothered you more and more every day.
Were you only being selfish?
You thought back on one of the mornings you spent with him. A full spread of breakfast lay across the table and the news played in the background. The sun was shining bright, peeking through the gap between the curtains, and the weather was good. But there was a sense of foreboding that loomed over you, one that you couldn’t keep to yourself. You called his name softly, leading him to look away from the screen.
“Are you okay?” you asked. He blinked at you, confused by the question.
“Yeah. Everything’s fine.”
Somehow, it wasn’t enough.
“Are you okay?”
You didn’t know.
“I’m good. Sorry, I just thought you looked a little distracted.”
The lie slipped out of you with ease. You felt childish. You felt burdensome for needing reassurance from him that he wasn’t going to leave you behind, but you could never bring yourself to say it. Between your pride and the overwhelming fear of rejection, the words you desperately wanted to stay would remain within the confines of your mind. He didn’t seem to be convinced by any means, but he didn’t push the matter. A part of you wished he did.
It wasn’t a fight. There was nothing wrong. Even when he returned home blood and bruised, exhausted out of his mind, you took care of him with love and care. It didn’t matter that you didn’t understand why he was risking his life. Caleb never broke his promises or broke away from the path to his goals. He wasn’t about to let you stop him. With great power comes great responsibility, he said. But was this responsibility thrust upon him, or was he doing it out of his volition?
You hated feeling helpless. You knew he didn’t need you to do anything, but you felt like you weren’t an integral part of his life anymore. You felt like a bystander, like someone he was slowly forgetting. You shouldn’t feel this way. You should feel happy that he still cared about you, that he cared about the city to give his all into protecting it, yet your mind just wouldn’t let you. Your thoughts on Caleb hadn’t changed. You still thought he was the most important person to you, but what used to be admiration and even love for Spider-Man was turning into resentment little by little.
Some days, you hated him. You felt like a little kid without her favourite toy. You felt like a lonely child in a class full of people. You knew it was useless to dwell on these things, so you tried to occupy yourself. You put all your effort into your studies. You kept yourself busy doing chores even on the days when it was his turn. You didn’t wait to eat dinner with him; you went out for food and drinks with your friends, came back a bit later than the sunset. It wasn’t as if he’d notice. He wasn’t home when you needed him to be.
His name was constantly trending on social media. Spider-Man rescues bus from hijackers. Spider-Man stops bank robbery. Spider-Man comics and merchandise releasing. His name became the talk of the town, earning the attention of the rest of the country. The newfound fame kept him even busier to the point where people were starting to dig deeper into his true identity, leading fans and investigators to wait outside your home. You kept ignoring them, but they were persistent. Your declining of their questions only made them more curious. Not only did you feel like he was slipping out of your grasp, but also like the safety of home was in jeopardy.
It wasn’t his fault. You couldn’t blame him for it. But sometimes you wondered if he knew just how much this was affecting you, as self-centred as it seemed. The satisfaction you expected from uncovering the truth about Spider-Man never came. The final piece of the puzzle was right in front of you, living and breathing under the same roof as you were, and all you could harbour was disappointment.
What Caleb was doing was major. He was keeping the city safe—keeping his home safe, for you and everyone. You found yourself sinking further into guilt and bitterness, the light at the surface growing smaller as you fell deeper and deeper. It was childish of you to be throwing a tantrum over something like this. So, you decided to grin and bear it. He understood you like the back of his hand; doing the same to him was the very least you could do. You pestered him less about his missions, stopped trying to call again and again when he didn’t respond. He’d always come home, even if it took days. He never broke promises. He promised he wouldn’t.
If he noticed the change in you, he didn’t mention it. His actions, however, said otherwise. He did his best to pay more attention to you. He tried to spend as much time with you as he could despite your conflicting schedules. He listened to everything you spoke about, promised you to be careful when you asked, and continued to protect you in his own way. You didn’t know exactly what it was that seemed to switch the dynamic completely, but at a certain point, you were no longer drowning in the pool of negativity. The sun seemed to shine brighter, the flowers in full bloom, and your cheeks ached from how much you’d been smiling. The lingering sense of foreboding faded into nothingness, replaced by pure optimism and trust. The future didn’t feel so glum anymore.
You supposed all you needed was time.
Time to heal, time to process everything. Time had a way of turning wounds into scars, healing phantom pains into a comfortable stillness. The claws that had your heart in a death grip had loosened, letting go of the chains they wrapped around it. You felt lighter, happier. Some semblance of normalcy had returned—as normal as it could be considering his dual life, but you weren’t going to take it for granted. You felt like you could finally breathe after being underwater for so long. Even here, where you were alone in the apartment, you didn’t feel lonely. It was… normal. A relief. It didn’t feel so suffocating anymore.
It was quiet save for the sound of your nails tapping against the keyboard. It was a sunny afternoon. Having had a productive morning, you aimed to finish the rest of the day in the same way. You were focused and determined to finish the essay quickly so you had more free time. But as the hours went by, that determination waned, and you found yourself at a dead end. You blankly stared at the blinking cursor on the word document. It almost felt like the thing was mocking you. Fatigue and boredom were catching up to you increasingly quickly. You knew the material by heart. You knew what you wanted to talk about. Yet no words came to mind—you were drawing a blank, and the thoughts in your mind were already drifting off elsewhere.
The counter was littered with snacks, surely something Caleb would chide you for. Your tumbler was long empty, left with nothing but melted ice cubes at the bottom. The dishes awaited cleaning in the sink and the TV remained turned on, playing a rerun of some generic soap opera. Defeated, you closed the word document, eyes drifting to the window beside you.
Outside, the skyline was painted in hues of orange and blue. Birds flew over the horizon, ready to migrate elsewhere for the upcoming spring. Your chest rose and fell with your exhale as you let your mind wander. You used up your creativity for the day, you thought. You haven’t made significant progress on the essay since you started it a few hours ago. Before you could beat yourself up about it, three loud knocks were heard from the window. Caleb’s masked face peeked over the wall as he gave you a gentle wave. Giddy, you got off your chair and skipped over, fingers deftly undoing the lock on its doors. You slid it open, allowing him to crawl in.
“I thought you were busy fighting crime,” you teased, watching as he took the mask off. His hair was tousled and his cheeks were flushed from exertion. “Are you slacking off?”
He huffed, amused. “I can multitask.”
He unhid his hand from his back and handed you a large bouquet of sunflowers, the gesture immediately making you melt. Flowers weren’t that out of the ordinary. Caleb liked bringing you gifts and trinkets he thinks you’d like. You got an equally large bouquet during your high school graduation and another one when you were accepted into university. You took it with a smile, murmuring a quiet ‘thank you’ and curiously looking at him. He bounced on the heels of his feet, seemingly nervous about something. His brows knitted together.
“You okay?”
He met your gaze. “Do you still think Spider-Man is better than me?”
You blinked a few times, confused. From the way he said it, it appeared that it wasn’t the first time he thought of something like this. You chuckled and crossed your arms over your chest, shifting your weight to the other leg.
“Getting jealous of yourself, Caleb?” It was your turn to be amused. “I never said he was my number one hero.”
“You never said I was your number one hero either.”
You sighed in mock exasperation. “Why is this important? You’re the same person.”
“I just wanna know,” he said, uncharacteristically sheepish.
“First of all, that happened once,” you corrected, pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Second of all, I love you. Spider-Man or not.”
His lips curled into a smile. “You love me?”
Warmth blossomed across your chest, rising all the way up to your cheeks as your lips parted in surprise, sputtering incoherent syllables. You awkwardly turned your head away, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye. Love had never been discussed, not really. It just felt like an unspoken commitment since you were children. He was the most important person to you, and you were the most important person to him. You never really thought about labelling your relationship.
Your eyes widened when you remembered you always referred to him as your partner whenever you spoke of him to your friends. You already gave it a label without realising it. You opened and closed your mouth like a fish, struggling to come up with a reply. You could feel his gaze on you, hear the satisfaction and mischief in his words. Clearing your throat, you tried to compose yourself and decided to follow through. You couldn’t take it back anyway, and even if you could, you didn’t want to.
“Yeah. I do,” you said, feigning indifference. “I thought you knew that.”
He couldn’t stop the smile from expanding into a grin. A breathless chuckle left him. His cheeks seemed to be getting even pinker as he fidgeted in his spot. He scratched the back of his head with flustered giddiness, struggling to keep eye contact with you. You didn’t think you ever saw him this shy. He was always your brave hero Caleb, the same boy who held you when you had nightmares, the same boy who held your hand when the thunderstorms got too loud. He was the same boy who defended you from bullies and got into trouble for getting into a fight with them. He was the same man who held nothing but affection in his words for you, the same man who would fall into playful banter with you.
You sighed softly, the corners of your lips twitching up. “You’re not gonna say it back?”
Though he didn’t need to, there was still a hint of insecurity in your tone. You looked at him expectantly, still watching as he tried to maintain composure. You weren’t used to seeing him this way, but you thought you could learn to do it. It made for a rather nice sight.
“I love you too, pipsqueak,” he finally said.
You beamed at him, placing the bouquet on the counter before leaping into his arms, delightfully laughing when he caught you effortlessly. You looped your arms around his neck and hooked your chin on his shoulder. Your legs were wrapped around him, your body supported by his arms around your waist. He held you as if you were as light as a feather. He nuzzled into your hair, letting out a content sigh. The air felt so light, so carefree. The remnants of your worries disappeared into the air, replaced by pure joy and unbridled affection.
“So… What’s the plan? Are you done with the day?”
“I’m going back to work. They need me,” he replied. With a jovial tone, he continued. “But I’ll be back for dinner.”
“You mean it this time?” You pulled away, searching into his eyes for honesty. You were still prone to worrying. His vigilante lifestyle was full of unpredictable moments, so it consistently kept you on your toes, leaving you unaware of what to expect. You were desperate for his words to be true. You felt as though you’ve been away from him for way too long. You craved his presence, his warmth—you craved him.
He gave you a boyish smile. “Yeah. I do.”
And that was a promise.
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stonedficz · 1 day ago
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hi this is it. title is a pun. ENJOYYYYY‼️‼️‼️‼️
Most of my publishes will include music. Music is a HUGE part of writing for me, as it helps me set the tone for my work. If able, please listen as you read!
schlatt x streamer!reader
✰ star shaped ✰
ch. 1 ❛ talk about being roux ❜
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you were a whore for him. parasocially, of course.
Spending the past 4 years of your life obsessing over someone online was the most entertainment you could find besides trying to pass your college classes.
You had been a fan for years - literally, since 2020. You weren't there for the start of Schlatt's career, but by God, you wish you could've been. He gave you some inspiration to livestream/vlog stream just for fun. You had seen almost every video as soon as it released, every live, everything. Now, you just wanted to be like the big angry guy you watched videos of on your laptop, but better.
Maybe it was your college aspirations, the lack of support from your family, or something else - no matter what it was, you were here. 5 followers on twitch in.
Despite the lack of viewers, you continued streaming happily. You were meal prepping for the next week of work and school to try and save money. It just so happened to be a good content idea as well.
"So, if you look here," you patiently looked and pointed down at your frying pan, showing the camera and 3 viewers your pov. "- the roux is starting to burn. I'm gonna have to take it off the heat and try to add some more milk to fix the flavor. I don't have any more garlic powder so I can't remake it unfortunately." you frowned as you set the pan on a different eye, gently adding more milk. Your eyes flickered down to the chat on your phone.
"whats a roux"
A heavy sigh left your mouth, you had been at this for 2 hours. Streaming, that is. Now you didn't have the patience to answer questions. Then you saw a notification.
BigGuy is live now! Streaming: fixing my minecraft house
"Alright my friends, I think it's time for me to go." you smiled at the camera and waved. "The roux needs my whole attention, so I'll see you 3 later!" God, you were a terrible liar. You hit end stream pretty abruptly, immediately clicking on the notification.
"Hey guys, thanks for joining in," Schlatt breathed as he sat in his chair, turning side to side. He just looked at his screen blankly for a few minutes, occasionally making comments. TTS hadn't started yet but you were anxious to get your message in first. Anything to get his attention.
"Remember, TTS starts at 25 you broke bitches. I don't wanna hear about it being too expensive. Postcards are 50! Let's see what's in the mailbo-" He was cut off by the normal loud TTS voice.
"hi handsome! good to see you on again! I finished up my stream right when you started. have a good time <3 - cookkizkill" you typed in at light speed. Somehow, someway, the past 5 streams you had made it in as the first TTS donation. Pure luck.
"Oh God, not you again you little fuck. How do you manage to get the FIRST TTS in every damn time??? Competitive ass bitch. But thank you anyways.” he yelled and laughed, opening up his mailbox in the game. It didn't matter that he made fun of you - that was his persona, it didn't mean much. All you cared about was being seen. God, you were obsessed.
It went further than this. You GENUINELY were interested in Schlatt - you didn't even know his name. You were the obsessive, love-at-first-sight type. You still thought about a sweet boy from a coffee shop when you were in your junior year. Once you liked something, you had to have it. Unfortunately, millions of other people felt the same. Yuck. So.. now it was this. You sent donos, dm’ed him, everything you could to kindly, gently, and hopefully get him to put you on his channel. That was the boost you needed. Socially, and egotistically.
The dream: meet schlatt. Didn’t matter if it was in New York, at a meet n greet he would never do, or for media.
You knew you wouldn’t make it big enough to quit your job - you didn’t want to, you just wanted to be able to show the internet your life. You wanted others to find community.
You continued to watch the stream, he was playing Minecraft, drinking, the usual. Messages were flooding in. Soon enough though, it was 10 pm, and he was about done.
POV: Schlatt. 7:03 pm
“Ahh fuck,” he sighed, sipping on a glass of whiskey. “What’s up fuckers? Welcome to the stream, welcome,” he nodded and chuckled as he watched the people and chats flood in. “Remember, TTS starts at 25 you broke bitches. I don't wanna hear about it being too expensive. Postcards are 50! Let's see what's in the mailbo-“ he was cut off by the first TTS donation. It was the same person from the past few streams. Somehow, they managed ro get first dono more than twice in a row. “Lucky fuck.” He muttered under his breath.
“hi handsome! good to see you on again! I finished up my stream right when you started. have a good time <3 - cookkizkill"
"Oh God, not you again you little fuck. How do you manage to get the FIRST TTS in every damn time??? Competitive ass bitch. But thank you anyways.” He yelled and chuckled - rubbing the thin beard on his chin and his mutton chops for comedic effect. He knew a lot of people wanted him, lusted over him, loved him - but he couldn’t help but smile when people gave him a normal compliment. It felt good to be talked to like normal. Normal normal normal. He knew he wasn’t that, but it didn’t matter, being a star always had it’s perks.
“Alright, guys, lets get in. Fuck all of you shaming my house. FUCK YOU.” He yelled, furrowing his brows in faux anger.
3 hours had passed. Schlatt ended up building a new house, opening letters, and getting spammed with donations. God, that felt good. ‘Money, money, money, bitch.’ He thought to himself.
“Alright guys,” he let his tongue swirl in his jaw. “I’m fucking plastered. I’m done for tonight. Hope you enjoyed!” His cheeky smile flooded thousands of screens as he ended the live.
“Motherfucker.. jambo, i’m so fucking tired.” He complained, letting Jambo jump into his lap. His hands grazed over his fur as he headbutted schlatt. He yawned, sipping the last of his glass of whiskey. Jambo jumped down, awaiting their bedtime routine. “Moowwww!” Schlatt looked down at him.
“Alright, alright. I’m not feeding you again though.” Schlatt shut out all the lights in his office, slowly making his way into his bedroom, then his bathroom. He got onto insta when he was done getting ready for bed.
“Shiit, that’s a nice ass car.” He muttered to himself, scrolling. His thumbs grazed the screen hesitantly.
“I wonder..”
Every now and then, he would look at his message requests to see the ridiculous things people sent him. Family photos, death threats, achievements, etc. Every week though, there was the same username. “cookkizkill” managed to catch his eye. She never harassed him. Belittled him. Judged. Spammed. Begged. Nothing. She was overly normal in how she messaged him - and by God, she did it everywhere. Though, no matter what she sent, she said thank you, and wished him the best. Odd. Peculiar. Weird.
“Hmph.” His brows furrowed. He was intrigued. He looked at her messages frequently, never replying. If he replied to one, everyone would expect him to.
He opened the chat request.
cookkizkill
hi handsome! i finally hit 5 twitch followers. yesterday i hit 200 subs on yt. thank you for being a great influence!! i know i wont be huge, but I’m thankful i get a chance to share my life with people. thank you for your stream today! i hope to be on one with you sometime <3
5 minutes ago
accept request?
Click.
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hwaslayer · 10 hours ago
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wildfire (cs) | 14.5
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—spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.
—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 1k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing, some crying, pretty short conversation but it's lowkey intense? just hella tension bruh lol
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⇢ POSTDOC | YR 3
San sees his breath in the air. It's cold, everything feels so fucking cold and it aches his bones. He adjusts his beanie and digs his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket while heading down the steps of the stadium. He sees Yunho sitting on one of the bleachers, also wearing a hat and a thick jacket. 
It makes him sick to his stomach to see him after everything, but San knew he needed to get his word in.
Step by step.
Right foot.
Left foot.
He feels numb regardless of the steps he takes, the inhale's and exhale's. Shit still doesn't feel real.
San doesn't say anything when he plops onto the bleachers, giving some space between him and the man he used to call his bestfriend, the one he trusted his entire life with. They sit in silence for awhile, both avoiding contact until San lets out a sigh and breaks the air first.
"Why don't you just say what you need to say so we can get this over with?" Yunho sighs shakily and fiddles with his hands. It was Yunho's idea to meet up because he felt the need to talk to San in person, yet here he was, initiating the conversation.
"San, I just wanted to say sorry." He finally looks at him, his eyes bloodshot red. Tears threatening to escape.
"Sorry? Did you ask to meet thinking a sorry could fix something?"
"No, I know it can't, but you deserve to hear it—"
"I didn't deserve to hear it in the first place!" San's voice is raising and he's barely been here for 5 minutes. He knew he shouldn't have agreed to this, but deep down, there was part of him that believed something could be salvaged with his bestfriend.
Anything.
But, here they are. They can't even look at each other.
San doesn't even know what to say to him anymore.
"San." Yunho starts tearing up when he sees San trying his hardest to keep it together.
"Out of all the people, Yunho." San can barely even manage to spit out. "Out of all fucking people. It could have been anyone else, yet it had to be Iseul." 
"Look, I know I can't explain this and there are no excuses for this. But, you didn't deserve any of this and I wish I could've done better as your bestfriend." San swallows thickly and shakes his head, letting out a short scoff.
"You were there for everything." Yunho finally turns to San. "You were there when we got through school together. Stepping in as postdocs together. You were there when I first saw Iseul, you were there when I grew feelings for her, when I wanted to make things serious." San pauses and meets his gaze. He isn't sure if he feels angry at him, but he knows the wounds hurt like hell and it only seems to be getting deeper every time he continues on. "You were there when I proposed, you were there at our wedding as my best man." Yunho's head drops and nods. "You were there when things felt distant, you were there when I felt like me and Iseul kept arguing with no end in sight."
"I know, San. I'm sorry. It’s all so fucked up—” He repeats. 
"It is fucked up. Especially when you're here to witness everything completely fall apart, too.” San chokes on his own words. "Except you're the reason behind it all."
"It shouldn't have happened. W-we were never planning on this, it kinda just spiraled and—" Yunho finds himself trying to explain with anything, even though he knows he can't.
"It shouldn't have happened, but we're here! So, now what?" San looks at him. "Now, what?" He scoffs. "It's so sad because I was hoping to at least have my best fucking friend if things were ever to fall apart with her. I would have never guessed I'd be losing you, too."
"I want to be here for you, and I want to fix things."
"Why do you and Iseul think there's anything left to fix?" San says lowly. "I only agreed to come here so I could tell you directly that we don't need to be acquainted with each other anymore. You can keep all your fucking 'sorry's' and we can go our separate ways. We can go back to being strangers because that's more than perfectly fine with me." There's a small pause, awful tension floating in the air. It feels awkward, stiff. 
Wrong. 
And San wants out.
"I want nothing to do with you. Nothing. I'm just.. done with this. Don't text me, don't call me for anything. Delete everything. Anything we had was severed when you took that step with Iseul. I don't care who started it first. You both left me out of the equation so easily and to think you two were the company I kept around me all this time."
"I'm so sorry." Yunho repeats over and over again. He cries into his hands and San feels his own lip trembling. His head drops, the tears follow. 
"You're not." San shakes his head. "Would you have been the same way had I not walked in that night?" Silence. "Yeah. Goodluck to you both." They both don't say anything before San gets himself together and stands— no longer wanting to be near him, no longer wanting to linger in this energy.
To be reminded.
To be told over and over again that they were sorry, when he knows they aren't. How can they be? 
At the end of the day, they're still here. There's no patching his relationship with Iseul no matter how many times she tries to come back. There's no home, there's no safety. There is no Yunho. There's no bestfriend to rely on when times get rough. There are no more good times. There are no more parties and outings together. There are no more late nights talking about life and futures together.
And it's all so, so painful.
Because losing his bestfriend fucking hurts, too.
In the end, they're still here.
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—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated
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