#I ignored assignments to read this.
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Lotf art dump from the past month
If you have seen these on my tiktok before then uhhhhhhhhhhhh no you haven’t
#jack lotf#lotf#lotf fandom#lord of the flies#lotf ralph#lord of the flies fanart#lotf fanart#its a blessing fixating on a book for English class cause reading scholarly articles for assignments on lotf is actually enjoyable#Ignore how CHOPPED they look. I was still experimenting with how to design Ralph and jack#I think about this damn book a lot
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i cannot emphasize enough how racist it is to make a sino-arab family obsessed with white men’s genes. can we all please leave behind the storylines of the al ghuls being obsessed with bruce or tim’s genes.
#red robin 2009 i loathe you#‘but the angst is so good’ it’s repulsive actually. read better comics for better angst. THERE ARE MANY#something there should satisfy you more than woc perpetually being assigned this role in relation to white men#woc or moc so I’m including ra’s in this as well. free him#while we’re at it can we ignore all of red robin 2009 when it comes to ra’s? thanks. please read the demon trilogy
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Also, just a gentle heads up: a lot of people seem to be under the impression that I have a lot of money or a big team working on my books. That is not the case. I'm an average girl who works an average job. Most of my income goes to cat food. Writing is just a side thing I do because I love it. I make very little money from it. My "team" is me and a couple of friends who have self-published before and can give useful advice.
This post isn't aimed at anyone in particular, nor was it prompted by a specific incident. There just seem to be a lot of misconceptions about me and I just wanted to make it clear that I'm an indie author with a couple of very kind friends. I am not (nor have I ever been) a famous author with a sleek, professional New York City editorial team.
#like i've never even had a (professional) editor who has read my entire series#whenever my publisher assigned me a new one they never bothered to read the previous books#if that gives you an idea of the conditions I'm used to working in#and the extent of my relationship with the people at my publishing company was me sending them emails and getting ignored#it wasn't glamorous#trust me i wasn't like... a prized creator or anything like that#at most i was an annoyance
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I GOT PIZZA AND GARLIC BREAD AND POTATO WEDGES AND WINGS AND A CRISP ROOT BEER AND MY MOM GOT ME A SPIDER-MAN PAPER YO-YO I AM HAVING A FANTASTIC NIGHT! LET'S GO SEE WHAT'S NEXT IN MY MCU TIMELINE WATCH BRB
omg Ms. Marvel!!! I usually skip some of the shows because I don't have time for all that rn but the next movie is Thor: Love and Thunder...so YAY KAMALA! I haven't seen it yet but I am SO excited, I love her already
#marvel#kamala khan#ms marvel#mcu#personal#spider man#it is a good day (as I ignore all my final assignments)#marvel mcu#even though I've seen spider-man and iron man movies dozens of times I haven't seen a lot of the newer MCU films :3#fun fact my bucky punches an annoying peter wip is based off of a ms.marvel children's short story I read that had surprisingly good angst
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not to wade into discourse about shows online which I swore to stop doing but I think some of you need to recognize that not every piece of media is about you, and that focusing only on the themes that you personally identify with while erasing the ones you don't is Not Great
#some of you only know how to analyze things through a VERY specific queer lens that matches your own personal experiences and it shows#and I just think there is a lot more to enjoying narratives about having a complex relationship to gender in a very specific historical era#than arguing about what specific pronouns and labels they would use in 2023#and that white queer people reducing stories that are about a character's struggle with being multiracial#to *only* the queer elements that we identify with is. not great???#you can't separate these things you can't just ignore them#I'm obviously not equipped to do in-depth *commentary* on that aspect of mizu's character because I am in fact a white queer#that is for other people to speak about and I'm enjoying reading their takes on it#but like. you need to engage with media that is not about you. you need to assign artistic merit beyond what you personally identify with.#you can find things that resonate with you in them but you should not make the whole thing about you
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wanna ask how you feel about the eridan bpd headcanon/theory(?? not sure what to call it!) you're so good at your character analysis and i'd love to see your outlook on it
Since I don't have a degree or any formal training in psychology, I feel deeply uncomfortable diagnosing characters. I've made an autism joke before but only because I'm on the spectrum. He's definitely traumatized and anxious, but I mean those as descriptors of his behavior rather than capital-D Diagnoses. I try to focus on those when I can - the cause and effect of cognition, self-image, and behavior - and those factors may very well match up with DSM criteria, but I try not to touch an actual diagnosis with a ten foot pole unless the author has explicitly stated that X character has Y condition.
#there's a variety of reasons for this#part of it is that im GROSSLY unqualified to be handing out diagnoses when it takes a full on PhD to do that in real life#part of it is that psychology is inchoate and we are still very much in murky waters#for example: complex ptsd isn't even IN the DSM yet#and iirc my therapist told me it was because theyre still figuring out how to classify it (attachment disorder? trauma disorder? etc.)#part of it is that (from my limited and undereducated understanding) there are diagnoses that you can assign by completing a checklist...#but some that require a hell of a lot more testing and ruling out other potential causes#and the cluster-b personalities are (IIRC) not even ones you're supposed to diagnose minors with#bc of fears of self fulfilling prophecy and because minors in general are still developing personalities In General#and like the fact that i can't say that with authority speaks to how unqualified i am to do any diagnosing right? hahaha#and part of it is just because like#unless the story is specifically About That and the author has stated so explicitly#i think diagnosing characters tends to put blinders on analysis#like if i were to seriously go 'eridan is autistic' then it would massively bias my reading and understanding of his character#and we have 0 indication that eridan was ever explicitly intended to be autistic or that the author was trying to do an autism specifically#that doesn't mean that the reading is invalid because like thats what death of the author means#all readings are technically valid including stuff the author didn't necessarily intend#but that's just not the way i like to engage with media and not the way i like to approach character analysis#because PERSONALLY it just feels kind of reductive - but also -#i'd wager MOST of us don't have degrees in psychology#so when i say 'X character has Y condition' it might mean something totally different to somebody reading my analysis#even people who have Y condition aren't exempt because a lot of mental illnesses differ from person to person#whereas if i explain “X character has Y thoughts and Z behaviors” there's no ambiguity in that#eridan struggles with noticing that people are suffering and with realizing that he should care#at least part of this is due to his horrific murder-filled upbringing which rendered empathy a detriment & so he learned to ignore it#it could be autism - but it could also be trauma -#or he might just be Like That without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria for autism#& you can't even technically be diagnosed with C-PTSD#or maybe he has a burgeoning personality disorder but you aren't supposed to DX those too early anyway#or maybe hes just 13. see what i mean hahaha. ive reached the 30 tag limit
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As a hellenic polytheist I THOUGHT taking a mythology class would be great but instead I have to resist the urge to go "ERM ACTUALLY 🤓☝️" once every 5 minutes at least
#the amount of times I've read something in book we got assigned that gives me a slight ick#there was something in the second chapter about the gods accepting (wanting?) human bloodshed as an offering#and I actively thought “oh that's not....”#(EDIT ignore the last two tags the info I learned ended up being false 💀)#I think this all just stems from the fact I REALLY wanna talk about my religion more#anyways#helpol#school#greek mythology#paranoid radio originals#paranoid radio chronicles
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...
#being a little petty again probably i don't know#but here's the thing#yeah things in literature/art/film/tv can often be interpreted in multiple different ways#but also there are absolutely multiple factors that go into interpreting a text#and there ARE incorrect interpretations#and if your interpretation hinges on assigning disproportionate significance#to a side character who has been shown time and time again to serve no purpose other than driving forward the narrative of another characte#even though the text had ample opportunity to build that character into the narrative and make them a character in their own right#intead of just a vehicle for a main#then. well. your interpretation really IS less valid#because texual analysis requires a consideration of a multitude of literary elements#and ignoring character type and overall characterization for a side character who has no true significance of their own#really just. isn't it.#anyway#anti bucktommy#anti tommy kinard#911 discourse#for real if one of my students handed me a paper with the interpretation that this dude is somehow buck's great love#i'd have an 'aww bless their heart' moment and likely give it a c#because there just isn't sufficient textual evidence if we take character type and characterization into account#especially with all of the other context around eddie#but even taking eddie and buddie completely out of the equation#this would read like just another flat side character meant to move buck forward#anyway anyway#like enjoy what you like but also maybe recognize the limitations of textual analysis and interpretation#instead of pretending that every interpretation is of equal validity because they just aren't#now that could change eventually as this is an ongoing text. but the chances seem slim#when they've admitted to extending the arc and yet the character's significance has not actually changed
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the epic highs and lows of rereading your own writing to seek out parts you disliked and analyze Why you disliked them to do better in the future
#personal stuff#delete later#just finished rereading fragments [shaky thumbs up]#been struggling with writing so what is there to do but reread my own stuff to learn from my mistakes 👍#man you can REALLY tell where i started getting crunched for time by a self-imposed deadline. like the quality is staggering#i could have stopped this fic at april and been content with it fr...#like if i had shuffled around some stuff in the later chapters to appear a little earlier. and actually had april be the resolution#might've gone a bit better. but alas.#anyway. the second half of the fic is rough for sure. but the early chapters. those kick ass. genuinely.#august is a good introduction!! i like the setup!!#and though i STILL clutch my head in my hands wrt september. the themes of the conversation at the end came off well#november i love you november. captures the feeling of anxiety Really well. still makes me cry whenever i reread it To This Day#the argument in december actually kinda goes hard?? i am always so shy abt writing confrontation bc it feels Bad but man it kinda kicked as#and february mwah mwah mwah. loove the atmosphere with that one. it's a little dramatic but ough. the vibes are off the charts#turns out. the bad parts of these earlier chapters were a lot smaller than i thought#and by ignoring the urge to cringe and instead looking my work in the face. i can learn from my mistakes. crazy#most of the later chapters though. don't look at me i was struggling.#trying to come up w ideas and arrange them around important dates was a fun concept but the novelty wore off#as i was like ughh but thematically this scene would work better here before this chapter...#i had suuuch a strong vision for april but i kinda stumbled with the execution as pointed out by one commenter#and that kinda put me off the chapter as a whole on rereads even after editing it. like whyyyy did i write it like that. head in hands#and it does not fit all that well after march. i think i relied a little too heavily on the timeskips for drama in both chapters#june was fine i guess but don't get me started on july. july was ass i had no idea what i was doing.#i think i wrapped up that chapter really well for what i had to work with but like. man#i don't even like Reading stuff like that why'd i write it.#what writing a chapter for the sake of posting it rather than for the sake of finishing up a fic does to you 😔#anyway yeah. i had a lot of fun rereading it but. mostly in the first half. i could stop reading at february and be content with that.#i think i took psychic damage from reading the later chapters. not bc they were bad but bc like. i remembered not having as much fun w them#and feeling stressed and crunched for time like they were a homework assignment that was due instead of a fun hobby for me#crazy. not doing that this time.
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Death by a thousand cuts in my class this week
#please feel free to ignore this#Jake meets world#I'm going to be really busy the next couple of weeks so I've been working ahead#In (almost) all my other classes every assignment except the exams is available right at the start of the semester#so you could theoretically do the whole thing right away#Not this class#The assignments are locked so you can only start them like 2-3 weeks before they're due#And the assignment I'm working on now is so tedious and confusing#Half of the questions are like 'invent a formula! Now optimize it!'#This is not the invent a formula class this is the AI class#I also just hate having to graph really big datasets because it's such a pain lol#Can't really do it in Excel and trying to do it in Python is like trying to force a mouse to be a rabbit#Also for some reason they have a FAQs document separate from the assignment#so you have to like read the assignment and then read the FAQs to make sure you're doing it correctly#Just put the assignment information in the assignment? Modify the instructions to include this?
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A new contender appears
#see i really like that eichi keito exchange cuz it connects to another one where keito sees himself and kuro as sherlock and watson#so its extra funny eichi is ruining his bf kin assignments. but anyway. ignoring that concerto is peak and everyone needs to read it#what should wataru be in this assignment...
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What's so wild about Aemond killing Lucerys and starting the war in earnest is that... if Aemond had just kept his mouth shut, he would have won. Actually scratch that he did win. Lucerys showed up after Aemond had gotten to spend a good while in storm's end as an honored guest. Lucerys arrives and Borros mocks the very idea of a woman ruling, admittedly if Lucerys had offered him a marriage proposal things might have gone differently but still. Lucerys comes in, delivers his message, is soundly rejected and turns to leave. In the battle of diplomats, Aemond won. I was reading that whole section going "take the fucking win, Aemond!"
But nope, he just had to push for a dick measuring contest. Then, all Lucerys has to do is refuse to engage and suddenly Aemond's the fool just stood there with his dick out. Like I get that he was going for this big moment of personal victory but what he actually did in context was give Luke the opportunity to get the high ground back. No wonder he went crazy and had Vhagar eat Luke, it's not right, but it makes a lot of sense from a character perspective.
#text#fire and blood#a fabulous time#lucerys velaryon#idk while I was reading this#I was just like... I totally get why he wants vengeance#but also you're not there for yourself you're supposed to be doing a job for your KING right now brother#also I do think it's funny how lucerys had that great brave line before about their uncles mocking them as strongs#and then he gets to storm's end#and aemond is immediately like “lord strong” and lucerys just ignores him#makes you wonder if that line was something assigned to him posthumously#since he died with his dragon and all#but if we're taking both of those lines as true#then it's just supremely hilarious#like pick a new line aemond they're immune to that one#I just... idk#totally understand why he as a person wants an eye#just like... look around and recognize the situation you're in man
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does anyone want to see my s4m dialtown au you dont get a choice youre seeing it anyway

you just simply have to hear me out on all of this ESPECIALLY mingus tango and norm’s assignments trust me i have divine visions and they told me this is the best possible assignments for all of them. my thought for the general au is that instead of taking place in the habitat or some kind of compound, the Entire Town is hopped up on laughing gas (can’t vote against the mayor if you’re too loopy to notice how corrupt she is!)
also mingus would still have a puppet and use those for her “campaign ads” (think about a mixture between the psas from s4m and like a legit campaign ad. something kinda goofy and also vaguely threatening because that’s mingus). the reason she needs the entire town to be “happy” is so no one notices the VERY questionable lengths she’s going to get back her pawpaw’s memory. oh and the big event would be her doing brain surgery on people in an attempt to hone her skills enough to operate on callum herself lol!
i have more thoughts about this au so feel free to ask me about it. i love smile for me i love dialtown i love the combination smile for me dialtown
#ignorance cloud on#dialtown#dial for me#<- name of the au. i was also toying around w smile for mingus but dial for me is kind of perfect#ive been thinking abt this more the past couple days so i needed to share my thoughts#i have so many more tho its just kind of hard to condense into a coherent post#u can ask me abt stuff tho! i have reasonings for most of my assignments. some of it was just soul reads ill be real
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well i finished most of what i needed to
and now i know what ill need to do in the morning
#stars why tf did i have to be the leader for this week's study group#and why does 9.3 have a FORTY MINUTE LECTURE 😭#gonna watch as much as i can tomorrow before leaving (and MAYBE on bus) but when i get to class#i may just explain to my prof i had l i t e r a l l y no time this week to work on it#like fr. monday had to deal w new mattress. tried working on it at new apt but no wifi. went to library couldnt focus#cause cramps hit me like a truck + i had like. an hour. cause i had to work at 2 and leave at 1 to get there by bus#i worked 2pm-10pm. had to stay like 20-30 min later. went to sleep around 11:30#and had to wake up at 5 to get to school. at which point i was exhauated then got a headache. and had to do readings for 2 class discussions#and THEN had to go get my weekly allergy shots. all while barely awake. and i got home and not only was i still exhausted#but i needed dinner and to shower. instantly went to bed after. had to get up at 5 again#and after class i had to go to po then home depot for boxes. and had to spend most of my day packing#CAUSE GUESS WHOS MOVING FRIDAY#dinner. and then 2 long assignments that were already late. plus review as much as i could of this week's asl content#this study group is gonna suck but i will give it my best go with how little time ive had to spare this week#amber's shit you can ignore
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im so tired man
#all i do every day in my free time is read textbooks and assigned supplementals#and check social media to see what new bullshit has happened overnight#i just want to play toys and drink milk tea but unfortunately i cant just ignore my responsibilities#grey matter
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i just witnessed inej ghafa putting a blade to a man’s throat and said “i like it when men beg but this isn’t the time for it” and i don’t know how can i think of anything else for the rest of the night
#reading soc right now and ignoring all of my other assignments homework etc#i love being irresponsible#i can’t wait to cry about it tomorrow night#anyways#inej ghafa#i love you#six of crows#nadirants
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