#I hurt my own feelings guys

[mellosdrawings]

Oh love your losers forever number 2 group doodles. Seeing the doodles, I realized Leona and Vil are together longer than with Jamil.

Well, even on the off-chance that they weren't already dating before, they've still known each other for a while longer, while Jamil was off in his corner pretending to be mid and trying not to attract attention.

In both cases, Leona and Vil would already have their own habits/banter and Jamil, who is barely getting used to standing out and competing against "higher status" people, would take more time to feel comfortable.

(I have paragraphs of potential dynamics between those three, I could talk about them for hours haha)

[arthursfuckinghat]

"I was gonna say you're like a son to me.. but you're more than that."

"It ain't that complicated!"

How quickly that shoulder pat of comfort turned into a condescending one.

[yayll]

~ a little something about the unfathomable history between you and Dazai ~

"Shit..."

It's raining, and you're trying to light a cigarette in the rain. How banal, and yet, it was comforting to you. That's just who you were, trying to change the outcome of things that were doomed from the start... Like your past relationship with Osamu Dazai. It was a strange little bond, a rhythm only you and him could follow even if it was almost impossible to truly pin his true emotions down. To really feel him as yours. If you were attracted to danger and misfortune, he was a goddamn car crash. Still, that never stopped you from dreaming of a life with him, a real one. None of this inconclusive and melancholic back and forth, cowardice is what you really called it.

Though you could never tell that to his face, because then, you'd call it love. Love you had no problem showering him in, love you ultimately felt pushed him away when he decided to stop seeing you, disappearing with that very love... with all you had. That was a year ago. So now you're a little tipsy, and trying to light a cigarette in the rain because you don't have anything else to waste your time on. Or rather, someone to waste it on. You take out a flask, and chug down cheap whiskey, grimacing immediately after you swallow it down.

"No need to choke down that disgusting stuff on my behalf,"

A familiar voice calls out from the darkness of the street corner, where the lamp's flickering light threatens to black out in an instant. A dying flame, just like your lighter. You're already frozen, and stare at the void where the voice came from, telling yourself this can't be... not after all this time. You get a feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach. You reply, voice meek and slightly slurred.

".. What?"

"What about what?" He mockingly calls back out, refusing to show himself just yet. In all honesty, he had been watching you from the corner for a while now, feeling a sense of sick satisfaction at the way you stupidly put any faith in that lighter of yours. Just like how you put your faith in him, and he squandered that as quickly as possible.

You look down, shaking your head as the rain washes over you, dripping down from your chin to your shoes. Every bit of your constitution is shattered when you realize you were a fool then, and you're a fool now. You tell yourself you can't let your heart warm up again, it needs to stay ice cold... What a joke. You scoff,

"Spare me the bullshit, Osamu"

You hear a soft laughter come from the shadows, and you wish you were six feet underground.

"Mm, I missed hearing you berate me~"

He says that so casually, and when his laughter settles, the rain takes over again. You look over at the flickering lamp post, as if you could see him directly, and roll your eyes, sighing. You call out, bitterly.

"Well I don't think about you at all."

And as you say that, the painful little ache between your brows walks out of the shadows and into the broken light, hands in the pockets of his tan coat, and soaked hair that somehow looked even better when it was disheveled. He clicks his tongue, and speaks in a low voice as he strides towards you, making your heart beat right out of your chest.

".. You should."

He says that like it's the most natural thing, a sly smile on his lips as he stares you down. He thinks you look utterly breathtaking even in your pitiful state. He thinks maybe he should kiss every little inch of your body for the rest of his life.

"Shut up."

"Oooh, that's the best you can do? Tell me to shut up?"

"I don't want to slap you in public, so this will have to do."

You spit back, your face twisted into a frown, one that's already stinging with the threat of breaking down into tears. You hate feeling something that's impossible, hoping the rain will wash it all away. Dazai smirks and raises a brow, his eyes are dark and knowing as he studies you.

You're exactly the same as you were a year ago. Full of life, even if you can't see it now.

"You're still so hot in your coldness. Predictable, but I love it. It reminds me of the time you and I-"

"What do you want, Dazai?"

Oh the way you switch to his last name makes his chest ache. His smile drops just a tad, and he looks down, looking like a wet cat as he clears his throat. His tone is sardonic, once again breaking you down as if you weren't the one making his hands tremble in his pockets. But he has a game to play...

"Just passing through, obviously. What could I possibly ever want from you?"

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

You feel yourself swaying, as if the rain was quite literally dragging you down... or maybe you were just drunk. Dazai finds it endearing how you ask such idiotic questions, that after all this time you still feel the need to know him. He slowly walks even closer to you, until he's inches away. His eyes soften, along with his voice, and a pang of bitter nostalgia hits you both at once. He reaches a hand out from his coat pocket, and takes the metal flask from you, his cold slender fingers dusting lightly over your knuckles for a second too long. He thinks you look even prettier up close, and decides to put you out of your misery.

"You want me to be blunt I suppose? Hm, that's awfully dull... I love you, silly."

It's like being staked through the heart when someone like Osamu Dazai says that to you. Your throat feels like it's closing, and your lip quivers ever so slightly.

"Don't be ridiculous. You don't have time to love."

A scoff escapes him, and he finds it irritating that you would say that, despite him knowing he's more than at fault for that very resentment you hold. Still, it doesn't make his own words any less true. He exhales, and looks at you with those cruel eyes, the ones that burn into the back of your head with scrutiny. He feels hollow, and it hurts deeply to feel this again after he swore he wouldn't let himself crave you. He shouldn't get what he wants, or else he'll wander the streets at night like a starving dog hoping he catches you at your lowest so he can pick up the pieces, and maybe one day not leave right after. Maybe he'd finally follow you home. You're weak, and it's rubbed off on him.

His voice comes out too pleading, too desperate, and too damn sincere. He's fucked.

"... Ah, you wound me... I'm making time on this lovely evening for you, no? Even if it's just for one ridiculous night, I'd like it to be with you. If you want to do worse things than just slap me you can do that too if it makes you feel any better. Kick me, scream at me, I don't really care. I have the time right now and we can do this."

You didn't even register when the tears started streaming, and you definitely didn't think he would know to tell them apart from the rain streaming down your flushed cheeks at the same time. Yet here he is, using his thumb to gently wipe them, the feeling of his skin against yours for the first time in a year is searing... It's punishing. You sniffle.

"Stop- Don't do this to me... Stop talking like that when I feel so empty...."

He flashes you a sad smile, a repenting smile. He almost looks human as he stares at you, searching for something. Anything.

"Then let me fill you."

He leans in, his nose touching yours, and his whisper sends chills down your spine. It's poison.

"Say you love me too. Like you used to."

"... I-I refuse to say it again. Especially in public."

"Say it in private, then. Say it hundreds and thousands of times for me. I can beg."

He nuzzles into your face, placing the lightest kiss on your cheek, and you can feel the way his lips curl into a smile against it. He wants to give you the kind of hope you only see in movies, but all he ever delivers is the carnage of a greek tragedy. Still, he wants you claim him as yours forever, even if he is a doomed man. Even if all you did was stick your finger in his wound he called a 'heart'.

"You always reduce me to nothing. It's exhausting." You mumble, pathetically.

"Nothing? Is that how little you think of yourself when I'm with you? Not only are you drunk, you're dense."

"I'm just saying. Us. Whatever we were. It was over before it even began."

Dazai interjects, bitterly.

"Don't say that, you're sounding too much like me."

"I'm just imitating you."

Oh, bless your inebriated lovesick little heart...

"You're nothing like me."

He speaks in a low and bitter murmur, as if not wanting to be heard at all. You could never come close to the atrocity that he is. The past was his mistress, it's why he left. But even in the past, he saw you too. You were there, you're always there.

He drops the flask, and it makes a loud sound as it falls to the floor, the rain pattering onto the metal making it echo. Before you can chastise him, he gently tilts your chin up and catches your soft petal lips in his, pressing into you as much as possible.

He wants to be so immersed in your essence that you become a part of him, selfishly so, and he wants to be a part of you. His tongue softly begs to enter your mouth, and the beautiful whimpers you make that reverberate against his lips cause him to wrap a hand around your waist and bring you closer, hold you tighter, as if you'd dissipate into nothing if his grip even remotely loosened. He needs to hear more of it, remembering how you used to be so embarrassed by how vocal you were with him before. He didn't mind it back then and he doesn't mind at all now, it is the most adorable sound he's ever heard in his miserable life.

You pull back from your kiss, a small string of saliva connecting your lips, and you look up at him, muttering as you try to catch your breath. You'd go to hell for that face alone.

"You'll stay right? You'll stay this time?"

Dazai looks down at you, eyes half lidded and breathing shallow. He smiles faintly and tilts his head to the side. He wants to crush that little dream of yours but he can't find the strength to slam his foot down. He knows he should pull away, he should leave and break your heart in hopes that you'll move on from the disaster he is, but he knows what you're pleading for. You're so naive, so goddamn perfect, he wants to laugh at the thought of him ever leaving you willingly again.

The overwhelming ache in his chest makes him realize he no longer has the upper hand in these games.. That he would rather make your dreams come true than to steal the light in your eyes... It's imperative. That as much as he denied it a year ago, he no longer has a game to play. He'll gladly suffocate in the warmth of your embrace, just how he imagines it every night before he falls asleep. He cups your face, and whispers with a familiar wink,

"... I'll tell you in private."

[goldenamaranthe-blog]

Kid Vaggie 4: Unsung Lullaby

Request for angst. Why angst? Why do people want to have their feelings hurt? Why? Also, this is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

Charlie: (cradling Kid Vaggie in her arms as she carries the little angel to bed) Alright, sweetie. It's bedtime.

Kid Vaggie: (shakes her head violently and clings to Charlie's jacket lapels) No!

Charlie: Vaggie, it's bedtime. You need to get your sleep so you can grow up big and strong.

Kid Vaggie: (shakes slightly) No. Something bad is gonna happen.

Charlie: (pulls back the covers and sets Vaggie down gently) Sweetheart, nothing bad is going to happen to you here. This hotel is officially the safest place in Hell. Nothing, and I mean nnnnnothing- (boops Vaggie's nose)

Kid Vaggie: (giggles slightly and curls up under the blankets to get away from the onslaught)

Charlie: -Is going to get you.

Kid Vaggie: (snuggles in and yawns) Pwomise?

Charlie: (heart pulses painfully) I promise. (kisses Vaggie's forehead and heads to the door) Good night, Vaggie.

Kid Vaggie: Goodnight, Pwincess. (blushes and hides half of her face under the covers) . .. .. I wuv you...

Charlie: (clutches her chest and pinches her legs together as her ovaries throb like ticking time-bombs) I love you too, hun. (closes the door and walks down the hall while pulling at her hair) Note to self: As SOON as Vaggie is back to her normal self, get a spell from dad to make babies.

Kid Vaggie: (nestles in and falls asleep)

*-*-*zZzzzZz*-*-*zZzzzZz*-*-*

-Screams fill the air as the smell of burning tires, smoke, and blood course through the streets of Hell. Angelic Devils with grey and black wings soar through the skies and between buildings as they spray the blood of sinners across alleys and buildings.-

Kid Vaggie: (eyes snap open at the sound of a particularly blood curdling scream, and she looks around at the chaos)

Exorcist: (rips her spear out of Angel Dust's mouth and throat)

Kid Vaggie: Angle Bust!!!

Husker: (leaps forward with a tiger's roar and his claws extended)

Exorcist: (grabs Husker and uses her spear to skin him alive before completely ripping his spine out of his back)

Kid Vaggie: Husk!!! (looks around and sees the rest of the Hotel's occupants' corpses laying on the dead grass filled front lawn of the establishment)

Alastor: (sawed in half with his antlers ripped off)

Cherri: (exploded from the hips up)

Niffty: (pieces replaced with bug parts and scuttling across the ground from an angelic steel knife lodged in her spinal chord to keep her moving)

Lucifer: (tied by the ankles at the top of the hotel, his wings billowing limply in the breeze from being completely shattered like a flag)

Kid Vaggie: (crying and is about to puke when another scream fills the air. She looks and sees the Exorcist holding Charlie up by the throat) CHARWIE!!!!

Exorcist: (looks over to Vaggie and throws Charlie in the air)

Charlie: (gets skewered on the sharp nose of Dazzle's statue)

Exorcist: (to Kid Vaggie) ......Go. Run. (turns to look at the carnage) ........*sob*

Kid Vaggie: (suddenly sees the same spear the Exorcist has in her hands and scrambles to run away. Lungs are on fire as she sprints through the streets and down an alley) NO!!! NO!!!NONONO!!!

-Feathered Wing Flapping Fills the Alley-

Kid Vaggie: (turns around and sees the Exorcist, shakily bringing her own spear up as tears stream down her cheek)

Exorcist: (stands silently before taking off her mask, revealing Vaggie's older face) What did you do?

Kid Vaggie: (suddenly wearing Exorcist clothes) I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!! YOU DID THAT!!! (scene shifts, and suddenly she's the one staring down a cannibal child cowering against the wall)

Cannibal Child: (crying) I didn't do anyhting wrong.... Please, don't kill me...

Kid/Vaggie: (lowers spear) Go. Run.

Cannibal Child: (sprints away)

Kid Vaggie: (looks down at her fully grown self in horror and suddenly feels excruciating pain in her left eye socket) AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Exorcist/Vaggie: You were weak. (grabs Kid Vaggie's wings and rips them off)

Kid Vaggie: (screams and cries before panting in pain and staring at her older double. The older woman is split in half down the middle to share the visage of a woman with short, white hair and blood smear everywhere)

Lute/Vaggie: You don't deserve Heaven. / (crying) You don't deserve Happiness.

Kid Vaggie: (world slowly fading to black as the Exorcist turns and leaves)

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Angel: (sees Charlie walk into the bar) Woooooof! Don't you look a special kinda way. I take it that Baby Fever ain't breakin' anytime soon?

Charlie: (pouts) Is it that obvious????

Angel: Please, Toots. (waves a hand in front of his nose) I can smell the ovulation process comin' off ya.

Lucifer: (sparkles in his eyes as he digs into his inner jacket pocket) Do you need the baby potion?!

Charlie: NOT YET!!! VAGGIE IS STILL A KID!!! (pauses) .....Wait, you just keep a bottle of that on hand?

Lucifer: .........Full transparency. I've been keeping it ever since you were with what's-his-nuts in case you needed it. What was his name? Fredrick's boy.

Charlie: (covers her mouth at the thought of carrying her ex-boyfriend's child) Dad, I never intended on having kids with Seviathan.

Lucifer: THANK THE STARS TOO!!!! Boy was a little fuckwit.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Charlie: (turns to the staircase and sprints up the stairs three-four at a time) VAGGIE???!?!?!

Hazbins: (all scramble out of their seats and sprint after Charlie)

Charlie: (bursts into her and Vaggie's room and sprints to the bed to hold the thrashing child tight) Vaggie, sweetie, what's wrong?!

Kid Vaggie: NO!!! NO!!! NO-NO-NO!!!! (stops thrashing as Charlie's scent fills her nose and stares up into worried eyes) Charwie?

Charlie: Yeah, sweetie, what happened? (pets Vaggie's hair, wincing at how badly the child is shaking)

Kid Vaggie: (breaks out into a new wave of tears and sobbing wails as she holds Charlie tight) Exowcists! *hic-hic* Evewyone gone! My fault!

Charlie: (holds Vaggie tighter) Shhhhhh! Shhh-shhhh-shhhh! It's okay, Vaggie. The Exorcists are gone. They're not here anymore. They can't hurt you or anyone else here. Nothing is your fault. (turns to the rest of the group motions for some help)

Hazbins: (all standing in the doorway slowly shuffle in to make a giant hug pile)

Angel: No one blames you for nothin', kid.

Husker: For a fierce little psycho, you've never hurt any of us. (massages the skin patches where Vaggie took out some clumps of fur) Not entirely.

Cherri: You're a great guardian angel for the Hotel, kiddo.

Niffty: You do such a good job helping me kill all the roaches in the basement!

Lucifer: (finishes off the hug pile by engulfing everyone in his wings) You're more angelic than any of those Exorcists, little dove. Nothing that happened is your fault.

Alastor: (watching silently from the doorway)

Charlie: (tears filling her eyes as she gently rocks Vaggie and sings a quiet lullaby)

Kid Vaggie: *sniff-sniff* (looks up at everyone around her and calms down, nestling into Charlie's chest and falling asleep) Wuv... you... guys.... ZzzzZzzZZz.....

Bonus:

Hazbins: (clutch their hearts simultaneously) Fuck....

Charlie: (still holding a sleeping Vaggie) Not so funny when it's you, is it?

Lucifer: Charlie, please tell me you want that potion as soon as she's back to normal. I need a little demon-angel grandbaby.

[voidheartkisses]

Me thinking about how the bishops probably had sheep spouses that they were forced to kill because of Shamura's prophecy. Tragic

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

Apologies

[sentientsky]

boygenius, "Not Strong Enough" // The X-Files S5E20 ("The End")

(script excerpt below the cut)

[cantgetworsethanthistbh]

reading stan twins + their parents takes from non stancest shippers is actually so fucking painful ngl

[hellogoodbyeitsme]

Broke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's too violent

Woke: Damian is bad at being a Robin because he's afraid to hurt people

[emberglowfox]

i kind of knew in theory that all my hobbies involved my hands but i kind of just ignored it n was like oh well im sure id manage

top ten pics taken seconds before disaster

[bumblingbabooshka]

When you love you love whole, with all you have, with teeth. It runs in the blood. The whole planet is stained with it - love in the extreme. Love boiled down to a hard, sharp rock which can be used to bash in the head of your enemy. You can watch the blood run and regret it. You can gather it up and boil it again. [Patreon | Commissions]

[jeanmoreaux]

do you guys ever think about how the story starts with andrew acting quickly slamming a random racquet into neil's stomach to keep him from running away and ends with andrew acting quickly breaking riko's arm with his racquet and then using it as a shield to protect neil. because i think about it all the time.

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

[dykedvonte]

Preston x Danse is the only companion ship I think would actually work because Preston’s inner turmoil is sort of a loss of faith in himself due to the traumatic experiences he’s faced while Danse is looking for something to have faith in and would find the fact that despite the desire to give up Preston held out so long not just for the honor of the Minutemen but because he had some hope.

It would 100% start off as a lotta unhealthy on Danse’s side as I believe he completely lacks the emotional intelligence (due to a combination of factors) to recognize the he’s feelings as anything but a sort of respect for a superior along with leaning too much into Preston as a substitute for the BoS. Preston may not really have a title but he’s like THE Lieutenant of the Minutemen. Realistically he’s the only companion Danse would probably be comfortable taking instructions from especially for how trusted Preston is by the Sole Survivor and his adherence to military standards despite how unstructured the Minutemen are. It would be him waiting for orders, approval, anything from Preston and he thinks it’s just the desire to have the regiment of the BoS again but he also like when Preston compliments him on being useful or resourceful. He likes the stories of Minuteman glory days and he trades the stories of the BoS that don’t hurt to talk about. He likes the familiarity Preston would provide and he’d be oblivious that it’s not just new found loyalty to the Minutemen.

Yet Preston explains it himself that he’s not a natural leader. He’s not an instructor. He helps manage what the General has put in place and he content on doing that. He relays what needs to be done and does major upkeep but I don’t think he’d know what to do with this guy this literally marches up to him and practically begs for a mission that doesn’t exist. Like the formality and respect is nice but he can tell it’s covering something even if Danse doesn’t.

Danse could go to Sturges for the many repair and upkeep assignments he gives him and has the freedom to go straight to the Castle if he really wants a big mission, but he chooses to come to him everytime. He’s aware enough that Danse only trusts him out of all of the Generals confidantes but it would take a bit for him to understand why. If anything Danse should be strategizing with him as equals seeing as he almost got the Minuteme wiped out and Danse was a Paladin for the Brotherhood with many successes under his belt before Preston even led his first scouting mission. It’s like he sees him as some figure of hope, some one who can come in and add stability. Someone with a fresh outlook who can provide a new perspective for him.

It’s like he sees him like he saw/sees the Sole Survivor but that would be crazy because that would also mean… and then oh, it clicks.

The revelation is both flattering and he doesn’t know what to do with it cause how do you address “I know you respect me but is that the only feeling you have for me?” To the guy who like refuses to rest unless you tell him at ease? He has to reevaluate his whole manner of interaction with Danse cause this is a very slippery slope that he’s sliding down and it’s even more perilous due to Danse’s repressed emotions regarding… everything. There’s an equal chance Danse will try to open up as completely shut down and he’s not just concerned about it cause Sole Survivor cares for him but because he has grown to care for the guy too. It’s not like he doesn’t also enjoy Danse’s company and value as a Minuteman member. He’s not a love at first sight guy but he’s played with the idea, anyone would when you’ve spent nights trading stories, historical facts and beers by the fire in a little home you’ve carved for yourself through literal blood, sweat and tears.

I think it’s one of those cases where it’s agonizingly slow to the actual relationship but neither part are anguished about that. If anything happened to soon Danse would be too dependent and Preston not equipped to handle it. It’s a case where I genuinely think they’d bring out the best in each other cause theyd want to figure out what is best for the other and not just apply what they think is the best. It’s the care that Preston would ask Danse what he wants to do and encourage it and at the same time Danse would be incredulous everytime Preston second guesses himself.

Long story short it’s a good ship to me because it’s just two guys with broken confidences and faith in their roles being each other’s hype man and kissin a little about it.

[stephstars08]

People: Why are you single?

Me: Because I’m delusional for him.

[bpdpenguin]

this just makes me think of gertrud and elijah 😭

gertrud still loving him despite having told os that he died...