#I hoped I could sit down this week and calm down and relax. Not stress about anything for once. Let my blood pressure lower. Do yoga. Draw

[caluski]

I just wish there was an easy way to explain executive dysfunction to people who don't have it. I can't make it. Does it mean I don't want to? No. Does it mean I'm lazy? Hopefully not. Will I eventually do it? Yes. Will I just take a lot of breaks to cry and calm down? Yes. It's gonna take a long time, but I'll do it. There's no rush. There's not a single reason for me to rush this other than wanting to be done with it. But they won't understand. To them, I'm just lazy, not suffering from literal brain damage

[kisses4reid]

scare | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,, (part 1)

synopsis - you’re in a relationship with some one else and have a pregnancy scare, both your own reaction and spencer’s makes you realise that you’re not happy.

genre - bau!reader x spencer, friends to lovers, multi-part, pregnancy scare, reader has sort of a douche bf, one sided love (at first), angst and fluff

warnings - pregnancy talk, mentions of sex, unhealthy relationships, stress, sickness

w/c - 1.4k?? take a guess cause that’s mine.

a/n - i’ve got 9 weeks free. yeah, i have a job. and yeah, i have about 6 other hobbies i enjoy. but am i gonna make promises i can’t keep about writing more?? yeah. i am. here, enjoy. (pls lemme know abt mistakes it’s rlly late at night rn.)

The plane whirrs, small chatter from Morgan and who you assumed to be Penelope over the phone humming along with the music you try to distract yourself with. It isn’t working.

Because every song has its own special and quirky musical instrument that happens to sound like a message notification. And you keep getting your hopes up.

Your left leg started to bounce, your fingernails found their way to your anxious teeth. And Spencer noticed.

He noticed about halfway through the case, when you stopped talking as much, started drinking an influx of water, started discreetly taking pain medication. At first, he thought it was a simple stomach bug, and he knew your stomach didn’t agree with a lot of travel. But then you started getting nervous.

Spencer glanced at you a few times before moving, sitting next to you (attempting to be discreet). He can’t be discreet though, because every time he’s around you, his body does this weird thing where it can’t decide whether it should be instantly calm or instantly more nervous. Your presence stopped his fidgeting hands, his tired thoughts. But god, when he looked at you, it’s like his heart wants to see you for itself.

And right now his heart hurt, why were you scared?

You barely noticed Spencer sit down, usually you would, but your phone was annoyingly blank, silent. You turned it off and on three times, and re-entered the plane’s wifi password five times.

And now your stomach was grumbling, and not in the way that those nice small sandwiches can help out with.

“Are you okay?”

You jumped, taking your earphones out and staring at Spencer surprised. You laughed nervously, quietly, “Spencer! Sorry. Yeah, I’m fine.”

His warm eyes searched yours and for a second you could ignore the tight feeling in your chest. It made you think back around 8 months ago, when Penelope, your childhood best friend and now co-worker, created a pros and cons list for both Lloyd, and… Spencer.

It was unprofessional and inappropriate, especially when you decided to listen because you had nothing better to do. And especially when she started making some good points.

He squinted his eyes, and you sighed.

“Sorry, I’m just a bit antsy. Feeling a bit… off.”

You felt sick, and stressed, and like your thoughts were going to be the cause of your death. Because you’ve never been sick like this. And to your overworked brain, it only meant one thing.

Spencer’s a great profiler. And although the team collectively agreed to not profile each other, it becomes hard for Spencer when the girl he’s in love with is so obviously in distress. Even worse when he can’t be the hero.

“I can leave you to sleep if you want.” He says, getting up to leave.

“Oh, no. That’s okay. Honestly, I think sleeping would just make it worse.”

Ah, right. Travel sickness, Spencer thought. He gaps his mouth slightly and nods. He relaxes into the couch and looks over to you, heart picking up slightly as pieces of hair fell from your loose ponytail.

You looked over to the table he was previously sat at, the book you gifted him last Christmas open and nearly finished. You smiled to yourself, but it was bittersweet.

“You’re actually reading it?” You asked, looking back at him with slight surprise.

“Of course. I’ve read it 6 times already, it’s a great pallet cleanser- Just like you said in that Christmas card!” He smiled childishly, like he was recalling the first snow.

“I know right! It’s so simple but interesting, I mean I’ve only read it three times but to me I always found it to clear my head.”

Spencer angled himself towards you, “Did you know that the author actually interviewed his daughter’s teachers to see what ages teachers were more invested in compared to class sizes? He said in an interview that depending on a students intelligence, there’s an underlying emotional connection made between student and teacher,” he took a breath, “It plays into the intelligence to ego ratio that so many people claim isn’t true. Which I’m not trying to say you have a big ego, or that I do-“

You waved you hands, “Woah, woah. Why would I think you’re talking about me?”

He furrowed his eyebrows, “Well, you’re very intelligent.”

“Oh!… Thanks for thinking I’m intelligent, or smart.” You shrugged, “But I think you insulted yourself. You don’t have a 187 IQ for nothing do you?”

“You remembered my IQ?” He laughed nervously. His smile warms your chest like a candle. Like that candle he got you randomly in April, after you mentioned your favourite one being used up by your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend. Ugh.

You smile falters for only a second, “Of course. You only mention it to every person that second guesses you.”

He nods and smiles, “Must be my ego.”

You laugh, subconsciously bumping your shoulder with his. But- Jesus. Your stomach is queasy.

“Hey, uh, do you want some travel sickness pills?” He reached over for his satchel but you grab his forearm and smile as convincingly as you can.

“No, no. We’re landing soon, but thank you.”

You’re overreacting.

That’s what he said. When you texted your boyfriend of a year and a half that you thought you were pregnant he said, You’re overreacting. Two words, two hours after your first text, on his day off.

Maybe you are. You started feeling sick on a slightly more gory case, it’s lasted ever since the case started, you get travel sick as well.

The headaches are from the computer screen and stress. The stress is from fatigue. The fatigue is because of the lack of sleep. The lack of sleep is because of the headaches.

Why do you always do this? Always thinking that there’s something wrong with you. Always being the biggest person in your own life, selfish.

But… what if?

There’s a sudden squeak from behind you, and you instantly snapped out of it. You took a deep breath and looked at your surroundings. You were at your desk, standing, the strap of your bag clutched in your hands - god, your knuckles were white. Your eyes darted in surprise and confusion, and you jumped once again when Spencer spoke into the silence.

“You okay?”

“Um…”

You didn’t look back at him, only looking down at your shoes and taking a deep breath. You plastered on a smile despite the bile collecting in your throat.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve gonna go, the bus leaves at um…”

You took out your phone. He didn’t even respond to your text asking him to pick you up.

“I’ll drive you home. But uh, I gotta pick up some groceries. I hope you don’t mind.”

He curved to your desk and gently took your bag from your hands, glancing at the way you traced your knuckles and how the leather strap now had slight wrinkles in it. He smiled, warmly. And he started walking like you rejecting the idea wasn’t an option.

Which is wasn’t, because he knew you too well.

“Well, a cucumber actually has 3% more water than watermelon. So if you really want a refreshing snack, cucumber is your man.”

You smiled and raised your eyebrows in interest. He’s had many vegetables and fruits in the basket, not a lot of protein. Explained a lot.

My man, you thought with a smile.

My man, you shivered.

“I don’t like cucumbers.” You said like it was distraction, and he nodded, picking up some kewpie mayo as he you around to the next aisle. He glanced at you,

“I know. You say it’s tasteless. I like it.” He shrugged.

“I know.” You smiled, and he smiles back.

God, you wish you could bask in it, the warmth. But your chest was still tingly, and your heart hadn’t stopped aching ever since you got excited about an email notification.

“Hey, are you sure you’re okay? I noticed you’ve been tense for like… a week.” He grabbed some pasta sauce and put his hand on your shoulder to turn you around - you obviously looked too far into your own head.

“Yeah, just feeling-“

“Y/n.” He turned to you, stopping your venture into the dairy aisle. His eyes were hard, worried. The fluorescent lights swayed slightly. A worker walked by the end of the aisle with a trolley full of food.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t,” he lifted one arm, wanting to rest his hand on your upper arm, to help you, “Don’t say sorry. Just tell me what’s going on.”

“I have been feeling sick. That’s true. And I’ve been stressed and, thinking a lot. A lot.”

It felt weird to nearly tell Spencer about your relationship problems. It was like complaining to a doctor about healing crystals. It was like a slap in the face. Maybe that’s why you never did tell him about it, because it was facing your fears.

It was the pros and cons list made by Penelope.

But I’m overreacting.

“It’s nothing.”

Spencer sighed. You had that habit, of nearly opening up, and then shutting the door just as he was about to walk in.

You heard his sigh.

“Okay. I gave Lloyd my car because he has the day off, and he likes going to his friends houses on his days off. And, I told him something that should probably freak him out. But he doesn’t really care. I don’t think he really cares, about anything. At least about me.”

You started walking, because holy shit you’ve never said that out loud before, and Spencer followed you,

“Y/n, if you want to tell me something-“

“I think I’m pregnant.” You stopped, and started picking at your fingers, acting as if it was admitting to not knowing your left and rights, or that you don’t really like coconut.

His eyes widen, and his heart drops. It was like his worst nightmare coming true- jesus, how could he even think about himself right now? The girl he loved felt trapped with a man she thought might be the father of her baby.

Spencer gulped, “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.”

You looked at each other, scared, you more than him. And then you cringed,

“God, I’m sorry Spencer. I shouldn’t have said anything-“

“No- Y/n, it’s fine. I’m glad you told me-“

“I haven’t even, like, taken a test yet-“

“Wait so-”

You spun on your heel and looked at him exasperated.

“So… let’s go get some tests.” He said (he hopes) calmly. He was really trying, to pretend to be calm and collected. That’s what you needed, a clear head to replace yours.

He paid for everything, even the 5 pregnancy tests and the over sized lollipop you put in the basket to ease your nerves later on.

The moon was high, you were about three hours late to get home now, and your head was attacking itself with rambles and aches and honestly, you were sick of it.

You shivered, huddling in your jacket and drawing only slightly closer to Spencer. His silence was like a hook, drawing you in closer and higher and taking every word you had been thinking that day to the tip of your tongue.

You looked up to him. His hair fell into his eyes, the breeze reddening his cheeks slightly.

It’s Spencer. You’ve known him for nearly 6 years, but it feels like you’ve known each other for ever. You know everything about him, and he knows everything about you. Well, not everything. He doesn’t know how you feel in your own apartment, how every anniversary had been forgotten even when it was the ‘1 year’ mark, how you felt like you were raising an over grown child who could drink.

He knows you’re strong, but admitting all that? I’d look weak.

You have looked weak in front of Spencer. He stayed overnight in your hospital room, he held you when you watched a little girl die, he wiped your tears when you watched a sad short film during your break.

You couldn’t hide anything from him.

“I don’t think I’m pregnant- Well, I mean I might be, but there’s a very low chance,” You started, Spencer’s jaw clenched for a millisecond, “I’ve just been feeling sick and… it could be because of stress from work, or just general stress- like, I don’t know.”

Spencer moved the grocery bag to his other hand.

“Kids are great, don’t get me wrong. Some people don’t get the chance to have kids. I mean…” You gulped, and Spencer finally looked down at you. But now, all you could do was stare at the car park’s concrete floor. Speaking out loud was like clearing your brain, the fog was lifting. “Lloyd doesn’t want kids. I do, at least in the future, not right now. I just hope it’s not with-“ You cut yourself off, and slow down a bit. Spencer matches your pace.

I just hope it’s not with him.

He gulps, and clears his throat, looking down at you with understanding eyes, “With everything that’s going on.”

“Yeah… yeah. You know, my job, my…” It’s no use lying to Spencer. He knows. He’s known, for a long time.

Your chest was tight, and you made eye contact with the pregnancy tests lying on top of Spencer’s groceries. The thought of going home, rushing to the bathroom, avoiding your boyfriend who was already waiting angry, made your throat close up. Because only now, when you were three hours late from work and ignoring his one attempt at a phone call, Lloyd texted, ‘I think you need to calm down.’ It was a bare minimum, and finally Spencer could see you realizing it.

No, ‘Wre you okay?’, ‘What’s making you think this?’ ‘Where are you?’

No. He was making you out to be the crazy one, the one to be over thinking, over bearing, too much.

You were confused. To put it blankly. And scared. And questioning your life decisions. And honestly you just wanted to curl up in a ball and to have Spencer make you bad cucumber salad at his warm apartment.

You looked up to Spencer but he was already looking down at you, reaching for his keys and nodding, “You can come to mine, it’ll be okay.”

taglist (open) - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m @aurorsworld @theoraekenslover @c-losur3 @littlelearningbrat @khxna @laurakirsten0502 @cultish-corner

[wwaheoh]

“Falling Asleep on The Job” - Victoria Housekeeping x gnReader (Platonic)

Alexandrina Sebastiane, Corin Wickes, Ellen Joe, Von Lycaon

a/n: writing this at 2 am but unlike the reader, i dont have a ghost milf to be there when i wake up...

As the newest member of Victoria Housekeeping, it had been a bit of a shaky transition. Still in high school, you’ve had to juggle your studies, hobbies, and your part time job all at once, it was a lot to hold on to- not even mentioning any extracurriculars or social life you might have.

So, all in all, pretty stressful. Especially now, coming back from your break, it seemed like the teachers were all trying to one-up each other on how many pages of homework they’d give. It had all begun to affect your wellbeing, always trying your best to give it your all, hours of studying began to dig into your sleep time.

An hour or two into the night began to become going to sleep at 4 AM or even just not sleeping at all and staying up through energy drinks.

After a particularly hard week- where you hadn’t slept at all last night and barely slept the day before that, you finally broke.

Shadows under your eyes, sweaty arms, twitchy hands, legs that felt like lead, and a light pressure on your forehead. You had been put on shift to help clean up a house, the usual stuff, thankfully nothing with any underlying “help” required.

As you were sweeping dust off a windowsill, you began to feel the familiar wave of tiredness wash over you. Muscles felt exhausted, a yawn threatening to escape you. Deciding to sit on a nearby chair to rest a little, you began to be lulled into a deep slumber. Head bobbing, eyelids drooping down- a desperate but ultimately futile attempt at staying awake.

And then you conked out.

Slowly you woke up, blur in your eyes that you had to blink away a few times before your vision cleared. You were turned horizontally- actually you weren’t where you had accidentally fallen asleep in the first place!

Immediately you rushed to get up, “Oh shi-!” before a mature, warm voice softly hushed you, a gloved hand slowly drifted you back down and set your head down on something soft.

Looking up, you saw Ms. Sebastiane looking down on you, a soft smile on her face as she pet your hair. From the lighting of the room, it was clear some time had passed. Meaning that you’d fallen asleep on the job.

“I-I’m so sorry Miss!” You let out, mortified at having fallen asleep- especially with how often housekeeping wasn’t the only thing Victoria Housekeeping did. Something terrible could have happened- and while there were other members of the company here, you would have been a liability.

“It’s okay dear,” She started with her usual caring tone, “You’ve been pretty out of it recently, Ms. Ellen told us of how your shared academics might be affecting your quality of life.” Her hands brushed softly against your hair, a spell of sleep beginning to overtake you once more. “It’s not wrong to ask for some time off, your health matters most.”

“Go back to sleep, I shall awake you once it is time for us to head back.”

You relaxed, her lap being used as a pillow as she let you sleep until it was time to go back home.

Something soft underneath the side of your head, you were lying down now- different to how you slept. Oh! You fell asleep! Quickly rushing to get up with a few expletives, a timid voice called out to you, “Uhm! You don’t need to get up!”

Looking at the source of the voice, you realized that you had fallen asleep on the job, leaving your coworker, Corin, all by her lonesome. Or at least on this side of the premises.

“Ah, I’m so sorry Corin!” You quickly tried to fix the couch you had been moved to, arranging the pillows and patting the cushions to make it seem as if no one had been sleeping on it.

“N-no! It’s fine!” You turned to her, confused but hopeful that she wasn’t just saying that to calm you down. “Uhm, I heard about how school’s been pretty tough, Ellen- I mean no one told us how it might be affecting you. You can rest for now! I’ll uhm, wake you up when I need help!”

You were thankful for her, worried that she’d be angry that you basically ditched her for sleep. Of course she probably wouldn't be that angry- she never got mad at Ellen whenever she slept on the job, but it was still a thought in the back of your head. Nodding, you sat back onto the couch as the feeling of drowsiness began to take hold again.

“Sweet uhm, dreams!” Corin whispered, worried that it wasn’t the right thing to say or not in the right context.

Slowly waking, you were still vertically sleeping, however where you had fallen asleep had changed. Quickly you got up, looking around for an indication of the time or Ellen, your coworker- and classmate, who you were partnered with for this part of the premises. It didn’t seem like she was around, but that begged the question of who moved you…

“Oi,”, You nearly yelped as you quickly turned to the person you hadn’t noticed, “Don’t move so fast… you woke me up.”

It.. seemed Ellen had the same problem you did, it made sense, the both of you did share multiple classes.

“Uhm-” “If you’re worried about waking up before the client gets here, don’ worry, I’ll wake you up.” “Oh! Uh, thank you.” “Mm…”

She promptly fell right back to sleep, with you following shortly after.

Slowly your eyes blinked open. You felt as if you just had the best sleep of your life. A soft pillow under your head, a warm blanket covering you, a homey scent of a candle nearby. Oh my gods you fell asleep at work and were acting like you were at home- hell even better than home.

You began to scramble out of this makeshift bed before a gloved hand firmly set itself on your shoulder. Turning to the owner, your heart stopped as you came face to face with your boss.

Quickly tears began to form at the edge of your eyes, mortification at having fallen asleep on the job and waking up in front of your boss. A therian that prided themselves on keeping a professional atmosphere and providing top-notch service to their “Master”s.

“I- I’m so-”

“Shh.. it’s of no trouble.”

God, was he going to fire you after this?

“No, I will not. Please, I’ve been informed of your recent academics and how they might be affecting your work-life balance.” He interrupted any other thoughts you might have had, as if he were reading your mind. “While I prefer you not to fall asleep while we are keeping the home of our Masters, I won’t be upset for minor inconvenience.” His voice was warm, deep, with a voice that seemed to lull you back to sleep.

“Now rest, I will awake you once the Master is due to arrive.”

[girlgenius1111]

miscommunications + conversations

alexia x reader alexia has practically stopped speaking in the wake of her second surgery. it's stressing you out, but you don't quite know how to tell her. she gets it out of you anyway. mentioned this the other day, but changed the title :) angst x fluff

"Do you need anything?" You asked, rising from your spot on the couch a safe distance away from your incredibly grouchy girlfriend.

"No." She responded, barely turning her attention away from the old match she had playing on her ipad. You sighed, realizing that it was the match against Benfica. Again. She'd been playing it over and over since her injury, in an almost obsessive manner. You'd said something about it, but she'd simply fixed you with the glare you'd become quite familiar with, and you'd dropped the subject.

Alexia wasn't an easy patient. You'd known this before her second knee surgery, but you were still astounded at how stubborn she was being. She'd barely spoken more than a word to you in weeks, and even though she pulled you close into her at night when she thought you were asleep, you hadn't ever felt like such a failure in your entire life.

Alexia wasn't okay, and she needed something. Something that you couldn't figure out, something you weren't giving her. It was driving you crazy, this feeling of inadequacy.

You were tired, worried, tired of being worried, stressed, and in need of a break. From anything, any one of your responsibilities.

You'd had a lengthy double session today, followed by a long time in the film room reviewing the last match. You'd looked forward to coming home and relaxing all day, but now that you were here, the distance between you and your girlfriend felt suffocating. It was all too much; Alexia acting like a robot, half the team being injured, game after game scheduled for the next week. You felt so stressed you thought your bones might literally shatter under the pressure.

After another rejection of conversation from Alexia, you knew you had to get out of the house before you broke down and cried in front of her. It wasn't her fault you weren't doing a good enough job taking care of her. It wasn't her fault you were so exhausted, every movement was difficult, even though you couldn't, for the life of you, sleep.

You didn't see Alexia look up after you as you left, walking back into the bedroom and pulling your phone out. You clicked the contact you were looking for, hoping she'd answer, and hoping she'd be willing to help you out today.

"Hola."

"Mapi, can you come over and sit with Ale for a bit?"

"Sí, of course. Is everything all right?" Mapi replied, usual joking manner replaced with a sympathetic one. Mapi knew all too well how Alexia was acting.

'Yeah, yeah. I just need a break." You explained. Mapi said she understood, and promised that she'd be there soon. She didn't live far, and you took a few calming breaths in the bedroom, before stepping back out to where Alexia was sitting. This time, she did look up at you, her face scrunching in concern when she noticed just how drained you looked.

It wasn't the first time she'd noticed that you were struggling, but every time she brought it up, the only time you really got more than a few words out of her at once, you turned the conversation around, trying to get her to open up to you. She hadn't missed this, but she assumed that you'd tell her what was going on when you felt ready. Alexia didn't quite seem to realize the effect her cold behavior was having on you.

"I'm gonna go run some errands. Mapi will be here in a bit, and I'll be back in a couple hours." You explained shortly, pressing a kiss onto Alexia's soft lips, and slipping out the door before she could say anything.

Once you were out the door, all bets were off, and you felt tears pooling in your eyes. It was a good thing you hadn't waited for Mapi to arrive, because you wouldn't have made it that long without breaking down in front of her, and that would have just been embarrassing.

Although, getting in the car and driving to an empty parking lot to cry wasn't really any less embarrassing.

-----

You came back from your rather pathetic drive, and walked into the house, finding your girlfriend in deep discussion with her best friend. Though you felt marginally better, you realized you'd forgotten something rather important; crying in your car for an hour would leave you with red and puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks. You hadn't done anything to hide the evidence.

This was clear when both girls stopped talking and looked at you, faces heavy with concern. Mapi stood, crossed the room as quickly as she could on crutches, and pulled you into a hug. The words she whispered in your ear were only for you to hear.

"Talk to your girlfriend. She's going crazy not knowing what's wrong with you."

You sighed, nodding slightly as you led Mapi to the door, waving to Ingrid, biting your tongue to avoid telling Mapi that you hoped she enjoyed her playdate. You and Ingrid had been making the joke for weeks, driving your respective girlfriend's back and forth to each other as they couldn't drive, feeling like parents of 2 very grumpy children.

When you returned to the living room, to Alexia, she was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed over her chest, knee extended in front of her, looking carefully at you. She looked like Alexia again, her hazel eyes looking somehow both sternly and softly at you.

"If I left the house to cry, you would kill me in my sleep."

She wasn't wrong. You were on Alexia all the time about being more vulnerable with you. It was possible, you supposed, that you were being a bit of a hypocrite.

"I didn't leave to go cry, I left, and I cried. It was coincidental." You argued back, sitting next to her on the couch, and taking her outstretched hand. Hers was so much larger than yours, and it encapsulated it completely, the rough calluses and the tight hold she had on you making you feel inexplicably safe. 

"I do not believe you. You have been upset all week, and you refused to tell me why. You call Mapi to come babysit me, you make up an errand to run, and you go cry in your car. When you are upset, you are supposed to tell me, so I can help."

You looked away from her, the extent to which she knew you being slightly overwhelming. Of course she'd known you were upset, and of course she hadn't pushed too hard. Alexia was perfect in that way, always knowing what you needed.

"Mírame," Alexia rasped and you turned towards her, lip wobbling as you finally met her gaze. "Amor," she sighed, pulling you in until you collapsed against her chest. It was a familiar position, with your head resting against her sternum, her arms holding you close. It felt like it had been ages since she’d held you, and you curled into her, clutching tightly onto the green hoodie she was wearing, feeling her lips press softly onto the top of your head. 

You still weren’t fully sold on breaking down in front of her, not when she was the one who had every right to be upset and angry with the world. You had thought, too, that you were all cried out. Unfortunately not, as you took several stuttering breaths trying to stave off your sobs before they really even started. 

Alexia stroked your hair, scolding you very gently. “No, stop that. Cry if you need to, mi amor. You can always feel what you need to feel when you are with me, sí?” 

You tried to pull away, but Alexia was too strong, keeping you stubbornly pressed to her chest.“I can’t, Ale, you-”

“Forget about me. You need to cry, you need me to hold you. We worry about you right now. Not me.” The blonde insisted, her hand sliding up your shirt, blunt nails scratching lightly over your back. She was pulling out every trick she knew to make you fall limp against her, doing everything she could to get you to let go, let her be strong for you when you were always so strong for her. 

You spent the next few minutes almost crying, almost letting go, but not quite. Your hands were fisted in the fabric of Alexia’s sweatshirt, and even though she was telling you that it was okay, you couldn’t stop yourself from fighting against the flood of emotion rushing through you. 

“Mi niña bonita, it’s okay. You’re safe to feel what you need, amor, please.” 

“I can’t Ale,” you whimpered, allowing Alexia’s hand to tilt your chin up away from her chest, towards her face. 

“Why?” She asked, so gently, so adoringly, that you felt a piece of your heart stitch itself back together. 

“You need me to be strong.” 

Alexia shook her head. “No, I need you to be okay. And you are not right now, are you?” 

You responded hesitantly, although you had no argument against her. It was rather evident that you were far from okay. “No.” 

“No.” Alexia repeated, her thumb rubbing little circles into your cheekbone. “You do not need to pretend with me. You have been so perfect, so strong. Let me be strong for you now, okay? Please?” 

Something in her voice, the pleading edge to it, broke you, and you rested your forehead back against your girlfriend’s chest, body trembling harshly with sobs. You inhaled deep gasps of Alexia’s perfume in between your cries, and tried to let it wash over you, as her words were doing. 

“There you go, bebé. You’re alright. I love you. Te tengo, amor. Te amo y te tengo, mi niña bonita.” 

You weren’t sure where this Alexia had come from, the emotionally intelligent version of your girlfriend having been missing for weeks, but you weren’t complaining. Far from it, in fact, as you cried so hard you shook against her, so hard that you exhausted yourself within minutes, gasping breaths turning into quiet whimpers as your eyes fluttered shut, and you relaxed into a light sleep against the blonde. Alexia held you with an unmoving steadiness, even when her knee started to feel stiff from the position it was in. She knew that she’d played some role in whatever was going on here, and she was quite determined to make it up to you. For now, though, she was happy to let you sleep, looking more peaceful than you had in a while. 

------ 

You woke up when Alexia began to shift uncomfortably under you. She couldn’t help it, she’d been laying in the same position for an hour, and her knee was really starting to complain. The blonde had tried to keep still, not wanting to disturb you, but she was clearly not successful when your eyes fluttered open, swollen and red, as you gazed up at your girlfriend. Her jaw was set, but she looked at you apologetically, sighing when you shot up off of her, looking frantically at her knee. 

“I am okay, bebé,” she began.

You scrambled up off of her, practically running to the kitchen to get a new ice pack. 

“Amor, come back,” she called, really not wanting to let you out of her sight before you told her what was wrong. You did return, ice pack in hand but you ignored Alexia’s attempts at conversation, carefully stretching her knee out and adjusting it to a better position. She sighed in relief despite herself, and you gently wrapped the new ice pack around her knee, before giving her an unimpressed look.

“You should have woken me.” 

“I was fine.” Alexia argued, opening her arms to invite you back against her. You hesitated, looking between her face and her knee. “Ven aqui, amor.” 

You relented slightly, curling against her side again to rest your head on her shoulder. Her lips left a soft kiss on the side of your head, and you settled in closer, the feeling of your girlfriend’s arms around you being so perfect after such a tough few weeks. 

“Talk to me, please.” Alexia said quietly after a minute.

“About what?” You replied, partly because you wanted to avoid this conversation, and partly because you knew it would annoy Alexia. 

The blonde pinched your arm lightly, not needing to say anything for you to take a deep breath, and try to explain yourself. 

“I’m just stressed. Everything with the team, the amount we have to play coming up. I’m exhausted, and there’s no time for a break.” 

It was half the truth, half the story, but you deeply hoped Ale would buy it. You didn’t need her to feel like she was burdening you, not when it was your fault, and not when she was having a hard enough time as it was. 

It was quite on brand with how things were going that Alexia saw right through you. 

“And I am not helping.” She murmured, her hand grabbing yours. Her voice was filled with guilt and regret, and you couldn't stand it. 

“No, Ale,”

“Sí,” she interrupted. “I have been moody and quiet and completely unhelpful. That is stressing you out more, yes?” 

To be honest, Alexia wouldn’t have reached that conclusion an hour ago. While you slept, though, she’d been thinking long and hard, and came to the realization that in her attempts to protect you from how awful she was feeling, she’d shut you out. 

“Yeah.” You allowed. 

“I need more than that, bebé.” 

You gave an annoyed huff, but there wasn’t really anything behind it. “It’s not your fault, Ale. It’s hard that I can’t fix everything for you, but it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” 

“I do not need you to fix it for me, amor.” Alexia cut in. 

“It would make it easier if you could tell me how to help you, because what I’m doing isn’t working.” You continued, having worked up the courage to say what you were feeling, and were sure that if you stopped now, you wouldn’t be able to continue. 

“No no no. You have not done anything wrong, you have done everything right.”

You didn’t believe her. “Then why are you so upset with me?” 

Your voice was so small and so hesitant, Alexia shut her eyes for a minute, willing away her emotion so she could explain herself to you. 

“I am not upset with you, amor. I… I am miserable because I cannot play, and I did not want to put that on you. I thought that I was helping you, not stressing you out with my feelings.” 

You shifted against her, the look on your face causing Alexia to sink back into the couch. 

“Well that did the opposite. I was worried anyway. I’m always going to worry, baby. I worry less if you tell me what you’re thinking, though.” 

Now it was Alexia’s turn to shrug noncommittally. You had on that look, though, and Alexia knew she’d cave within a minute. 

“I am sorry, amor. I should have talked to you. I made you stressed and upset for no reason.” 

You sighed dramatically, leaning in to lightly kiss her cheek. “I forgive you. You better start keeping a journal though, and let me read it every night before bed. All of your feelings of the day, written down for me to look through. Then I won’t be mad anymore.” You joked, and Alexia snorted. 

“Fine, you write one too. All your feelings. We’ll trade, and never have to talk to each other.” 

“Perfect.” You smiled, leaning your forehead against hers. 

“Perfect.” She agreed, eyes shutting at the close contact. 

“I love you.” You mumbled. 

“Te amo mucho. Even when you get tears all over my car, and make me beg you to talk to me.” 

You pulled away rolling your eyes. “Fine. You can get your own ice packs, massage your own knee, and drive yourself to your grumpy playdates with Mapi.” 

“Playdates!” Alexia gasped, yanking you back down on top of her, and poking you in the side, making you giggle against your will. “You take away my massages, I take away yours.” Alexia warned. 

You turned to her, betrayed. “You like giving me massages as much as I like getting them.” You reminded her. 

Alexia smiled playfully, her hand creeping up the front of your shirt. You shivered at the contact, taking in the smirk on your girlfriend’s face, knowing exactly what she had in mind. “Do I like to give massages? I do not remember. You will have to remind me.” 

You rolled your eyes, but leaned in, Alexia dominating the heated kiss even as you hovered on top of her, though she was slightly breathless when you slipped your tongue into her mouth. That was Alexia, though. In control of every situation, except when it came to you. Evidently, Alexia didn’t always use her brain when it came to you, her heart took over, and she made decisions she wouldn’t normally make. It was hard to complain, though, when she looked at you like you single handedly made the earth spin on its axis. No, you couldn’t complain. You were her weak spot, and you knew how lucky you were to hold that position.  

-----

some angst and fluff for ya <3

[itsmealaiahh]

"Wrong timing"

A bill kaulitz x fem! reader one shot

TW: drinking, many mentions of alcohol (of-age drinking), clubbing, profanity, angst. drunk actions, p in v sex, soft, makeup sex, protected sex (👍 be safe my friends), dirty talk, clit stimulation

Request by anon: 2018 Bill x female reader (smut) Bill.and yn have been together for a couple of years he never was that jealous except for one night. Yn goes out for a girls night and it's quite late so Bill text's her asking when she'll be home since he's worried, yn doesn't answer so after a while he checks yn's best friend stories, he sees her kissing another guy , (she was a bit drunk she never drinks usually and thought it was Bill, forgetting he was at home) so Bill drives insanely fast at the club she's in, he doesn't throw a tantrum so she doesn't see him at first, he quickly takes her by her hand driving back home , he's mad but acts cold . Home he'll of course want answers but yn seems to be distacted by how hot he is asking why she did what she did , so everything takes a steamy turn.

Rating: explicit topics ahead, dni if your under 15!! please and thank you

Word Count: 2.1k

Drinking and partying wasn't exactly your thing, but when your friends had called asking to go out, of course you accepted. Who were you to turn your friends down?

"You know what, I really needed this!" you exclaim to one of your friends, taking another sip of your drink, a wide smile on your face. Truth was, you really did. You hadn't been able to get out of the house much this week, work was hard and when you got home, all you wanted to do was fall asleep, so a girls night out on the town was much needed.

You finally felt relaxed from the long week, just being able to party with friends and drink was a perfect way to wind down from the stress and exhaustion you had endured. Again, you grabbed your martini, taking one more sip, feeling the alcohol kicking in, making you wobble just a bit. You put the glass back down and kept on dancing, the smile still on your face.

"i'm gonna go to the bathroom!" you shouted to one of your friends, hoping they heard you, before walking off and attempting to find the restrooms. You made your way through the sea of people dancing, eventually reaching the restroom. Taking a minute to calm down and stop sweating, you stayed by the sink, wiping your face with a paper towel and then stepped back out, ready to go back to dancing.

While you were dancing, a man stepped behind you, grabbing onto your hips and beginning to dance with you, your bodies moving together. In your drunken haze, you thought it was bill, and you smiled with joy, turning around and giving the man a kiss right on the lips, wrapping your arms around his neck as he deepened the kiss, his own hands on your waist, pulling you closer to him. You moaned into his mouth, and broke away. When you did, you opened your eyes, and saw that the man wasn't bill.

You gasped, stumbling backwards in shock, realizing what you had just done. You had made out with a complete stranger. In the corner of your eye, your friend had her phone out, looking like she was photographing the entire moment. The feeling of being drunk was now gone, it felt like you were fully sober and panic set in immediately. What was bill even going to think of this? of you? Would he break up with you?

You pushed the man and your friend away, going to try and find a couch to sit on and try to calm your racing heart down. Tears pricked at your eyes, and all you could do was worry. Immense guilt coursed through you, wondering what was even going to happen once you got home.

Bill sat at home, watching tv and waiting for you to get back, scrolling through instagram reels, trying to pass the time. He went to check your story again, nothing. He was getting increasingly worried about you, wondering if something happened to you at the club. He should've never let you go out, he thought to himself while imagining all the horrible things that could've or could be happening right now while he was at home just lounging around.

He saw your friend had posted something on her story, and when he clicked on it, a wave of emotions crossed him. Anger, hurt, sadness, and most of all jealousy. There you were, your hands wrapped around some douchebag's body, his tongue practically down your throat as you both shared an intense kiss, from what it looked like. He fumed, going to his messages and texting you, his heart beating madly in anger.

He sent the text, and grabbed his keys, making his way to his car. He was furious. What the fuck were you even doing? His mind raced with hurtful scenarios, his brain thinking of all sorts of things he only wished were not true. You could be fucking this guy right now, he could've taken you home with him, or you could be hurt. He hated all of them, and he hoped you were okay. He sped his way to the club, parking his car and making his way inside, huffing. He searched around the place, desperate to find you, when he saw you on one of the couches, looking like you were freaking out, which you should've been.

He made his way over to you, standing in front of the chair and waiting for you to look up. "b-bill?" You asked hesitantly, hoping this time it was actually Bill and not some rando guy. You looked up, and it was him. "Oh god, you have no idea how grateful i am to see yo-" "save it" he cut you off, his tone cold and unforgiving. "We're going home, now" He said, taking your hand and leading you out of the busy club, the cold air hitting you harshly.

He brought you to the car, going around to his side and starting the engine, waiting for you to get in. He was silent, his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles white from the pressure. As he drove, he didn't say anything, leaving you to sit in your own guilt, thinking about your actions. You were never drinking again, that was for sure. You tried to apologize multiple times, but he wasn't having it. How could you do that to him? He was always loyal to you, and he tried his best to make you happy, even when he wasn't feeling that great on some days. Getting home was worse. He didn't wait for you, he simply turned off the ignition and walked inside, seemingly forgetting about you which made tears prick at your eyes once more.

You felt horrible for doing this to him. You sulked inside, resisting the urge to run into his arms and sob, but you knew he would push you away if you did. You opened the door, seeing him on the couch, and he didn't spare you a single glance. You walked over to him, taking a seat beside him, ready to explain yourself to him. "you know how much that hurt me? to see you kissing some other man knowing that I love you?" he whispers, his voice full of hurt and pain, and you hate yourself knowing you caused this. "i-i'm sorry bill. I had a few drinks and he just approached me and i-" your voice broke, and a few tears slipped from your eyes.

"i'm so sorry that I hurt you" you sniffle, looking down. "i hate myself for doing that to you, you've always been so perfect to me" you cry, your tone shaky and upset. "I honestly thought he was you, i was just drunk, and when he pulled away, i saw that it wasn't and I couldn't believe myself" You put your head in your hands, wetness filling your palms. You felt arms wrapping around you, pulling you close, and you begin to cry even more.

"So you were drunk and you thought it was me there, and you kissed him?" He asked, trying to figure out what had actually happened. "I'm so sorry" you sob, burying your head into his chest. "You need to prove to me you are sorry. Words are meaningless compared to actions, so what actions do you think you need to do to say you're truly sorry?" Your cheeks flushed at this, and the sadness was quickly buried with embarrassment. "I-i could ride you" you said, stumbling on the words. "That's a start, what else do you think you could do to apologize to me?" "I could, uh, give you a handjob?" "Is that a question, or an answer?

"An answer" you said, a bit more sure now. "Good girl. Is that all you can think of?" "Y-yes" When you gave your answer, he walked you upstairs to your bedroom, standing at the foot of the bed. "Strip" He commanded, and you did as he told. You wanted him to forgive you, so you were ready to do whatever he said.

You stripped from your dress, and then your underwear, waiting for him to speak. He got onto the bed, taking off his shirt which revealed his tattoos, and then his pants, and finally his boxers. He grabbed a condom from the table beside the bed, sliding it onto his length. He gave himself a few quick pumps, all while you watched and waited to be told what to do.

"Get on my lap" He finally spoke, and you did just that. Once properly seated, you slowly slid his cock into you, moaning at the sensation. You took more inside of you, inch by inch, until his balls were seated right under your ass, and then you began to bounce on him. You rolled your hips back and forth, putting your hands on his chest as you rode him.

"You smell like that guy" He said, his nose wrinkling in disgust. He brought your head down, making you kiss him, his hand on the back of your neck. It was a quick kiss, and it was over just as quickly as it started. "Taste like him too" "Then make me taste like you if you hate his scent so much" you whimpered out, clawing at the skin of his chest, his tip consistently running over and over your spot, and you threw your head back in pleasure, going faster and speeding up your pace. "I will" He growled, shoving you down onto his lips, engulfing your own in a heated kiss. Your tongue gave way to his, and you let it explore around, still trying to slide up and down on him.

His hands made their way down your back, his touch sending shivers down your spine, trailing down on your skin until they reached your ass, firmly grabbing it and helping you ride him. You gasped into his mouth, whining his name against his lips, your hips continuously slamming down onto his length which only made your moans louder, and bill swallowed every single one, never once breaking the kiss. "he cupped your chin, tilting your face up to meet his gaze. "You're mine, you got that?" He growled, his eyes dark with possession. "And I don't share" You didn't say anything back, it's not like you could've anyway. His dick was hitting all the right spots, and you couldn't speak for shit.

He didn't stop in his actions, gripping your ass so tightly you were sure that there was going to be handprint marks the next day. You gripped his hair, running your hands through it, the black locks in between your fingers as you clung to him. Bill groaned with pleasure, his head falling back onto the pillows. He removed his hands from your body, putting them behind his head as he watched you struggle to move up and down, a small grin on his lips.

As you were trying to get the pace back you had before, your hands going back to his chest, scraping the skin harshly. "That's a good girl. Keep on going, i know you can" You managed a weak nod, feeling yourself getting closer to the edge. His balls slapped softly against your ass, the room filled with all sorts of noises of pure, unadulterated bliss.

"oh god, oh god" You cried out, your walls squeezing him tightly, getting achingly close to your orgasm. "you gonna come on me baby?" you nodded again, your face contorting as you spilled onto his cock, throwing your head back and almost screaming his name. "You did so good" He whispered. You continued to roll your hips back and forth, riding out your high and helping him get to his. "shit" he whispered, his cock twitching inside of you, and he came into the condom with a loud groan, and got off of him, your heart racing and your features sheened with sweat. You laid next to him, your hands reaching down and taking off the condom, tying a knot in it before tossing it to the side.

"am i forgiven?" you asked, trailing a hand down his chest. If you weren't, a handjob would make sure you were. "mhm" he whispered huskily, leaning in to kiss you. "and you learned your lesson?" "i did" you giggle.

"good girl"

hehehehe thank you anon for the request!! :333

hope you enjoyed and sorry if the end is shit 🤪👍

[blackenedsnow]

Hola! Es la primera vez que pido algo :>

¿podrías preguntarle a shadow/lector masculino, donde el lector es un tipo muy relajado y astuto? ¿Cómo sería la convivencia de shadow y alguien así? (Perdón si no entiendes, el inglés no es mi especialidad x/)

balancing

WARNING: None

PAIRING: Shadow the Hedgehog x Male! Reader

NOTE: I don’t understand Spanish, so I got my Spanish-speaking friend to read this for me. I hope I got it right!

SUMMARY: Living with Shadow isn’t easy, but your relaxed nature balances out his intensity. In the end, you both find comfort in each other’s differences.

Living with Shadow wasn’t what most people would call “easy.” He was the definition of intense, and you? You were pretty much the opposite.

You sat at the kitchen table, leaning back in your chair as you stirred your coffee lazily. The early morning sunlight barely filtered through the blinds, casting long shadows across the room. Shadow stood near the window, arms crossed, looking as serious as ever. He didn’t talk much in the mornings, which was fine by you. You preferred things quiet in the morning, too.

But today, something was different. He looked like he had something on his mind.

“You’ve been staring out that window for a while,” you pointed out, taking a slow sip of your coffee. “Something bothering you?”

Shadow glanced at you, his crimson eyes sharp as ever. “No,” he replied simply, but you could tell that wasn’t entirely true.

You shrugged, not wanting to push him. You knew Shadow well enough to know he wasn’t one to just open up about whatever was bothering him. If he wanted to talk, he would. Until then, you’d just keep doing what you did best—relaxing and taking life as it came.

“Alright,” you said, placing your mug down on the table. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

Shadow didn’t respond. He just kept staring out the window, probably thinking about something that would stress most people out. You weren’t most people, though. You were calm, laid-back, and had learned to go with the flow. It was an odd balance, living with someone as intense as Shadow, but somehow, it worked.

Over the weeks you’d been living together, you’d figured out how to give him space when he needed it and how to diffuse situations when things got too tense. Sometimes that meant stepping back and letting him brood in silence. Other times, it meant making a sarcastic comment to lighten the mood.

Today seemed like one of those times when a little humor might help.

“You know,” you said, stretching your arms above your head, “if you keep frowning like that, you’re gonna get wrinkles. Not that you’d notice with all the scowling you already do.”

Shadow shot you a sideways glare, but there was a flicker of something behind his expression. Was that amusement? It was hard to tell with him sometimes, but you liked to think that your attitude had started to rub off on him, at least a little.

“If I get wrinkles, it’ll be because I’m constantly surrounded by idiots,” Shadow muttered.

You chuckled, standing up to grab another cup of coffee. “Well, lucky for you, I’m not an idiot. Just... lazy.”

Shadow didn’t respond, but he seemed a little less tense now. That was a win in your book.

Later that day, you found yourself lounging on the couch, flipping through channels on the TV. Shadow had been quiet most of the afternoon, busy with whatever it was he did in his free time—probably thinking about the meaning of life or whatever.

Eventually, Shadow walked into the room, his usual serious expression in place. He stopped by the couch, looking down at you.

“You’ve been sitting there for hours,” he said, his voice as deadpan as ever.

You grinned, not even bothering to look away from the screen. “And I plan on sitting here for a few more. What’s your point?”

“You waste too much time doing nothing.”

“Hey, someone’s gotta balance out all the brooding you do,” you replied, flashing him a smirk. “It’s called equilibrium, my friend.”

Shadow narrowed his eyes at you, but you could tell he wasn’t actually mad. He was used to your laid-back attitude by now. In fact, you suspected he might even appreciate it, though he’d never admit it.

After a moment, he sat down on the arm of the couch, staring at the TV screen. You raised an eyebrow, surprised that he hadn’t immediately gone off to do something more “productive.”

“Decided to join me in the fine art of doing nothing?” you teased, tossing the remote aside.

“Hardly,” he muttered, but he didn’t get up.

The two of you sat in comfortable silence, the TV playing some random show you barely paid attention to. It wasn’t often that Shadow sat still like this, and you weren’t about to ruin the moment with more teasing.

“You know,” you said after a while, “for someone who’s all about serious stuff and fighting for what’s right, you’re not so bad to have around. Kinda balances me out, in a weird way.”

Shadow glanced at you but didn’t say anything. His silence was enough of an answer, though. You didn’t need words to know that he felt the same.

[garciaasfluffypen]

the solace in the sun

pairing: wanda maximoff x f!reader word count: 1.8k warnings: deals with grief of losing family, wanda is whipped for you but is in denial, i'm not sure how i feel about the ending but i didn't know how to keep it going so

summer was in full swing, and boy was new york feeling it. 

you had found yourself spending more time up in the rooftop garden, unsure of how your brain decided to find solace in the plants. you never had a green thumb. if anything, it was black. never being able to properly take care of plants at all, it was something you had just steered away from. you had hoped someday you’d overcome it, but considering you somehow managed to kill a stick of bamboo, being a plant parent was very low on your list. the heat didn’t seem to be bothering the plants that adorned the garden, thankfully. the sun was hitting just right and gave a perfect shine in the little corner you had found to relax in your downtime. 

your fingers daintly trailed along the leaves of a giant monstera plant that hung down next to you, another plant behind you brushing your shoulder as you adjusted in the lounge chair pepper set up here. the sounds of the city floated around you, lulling you into a sense of peace. moments like this were  far and few between since joining the avengers- they always seemed to want to be doing things with you. as much as you loved your new found family, you did prefer to have moments to yourself. the stark difference between you and your avengers-sona was partly how you kept yourself sane. your anger at the world could come out when you were in your hiena suit. the anger at almost losing your parents along with the rest of your cousins and aunts and uncles loomed over your head like a dark storm cloud as you fought alongside your counterparts, using that to fuel you. you always found yourself pretty drained when you’d get back to the tower, just wanting to curl up somewhere quiet and decompress. thor had gotten into the habit of dragging you out at least once a week, and almost all of those occurrences had been after a big fight. 

except today. 

natasha, bless her soul, had somehow distracted thor long enough for you to slip away, which was how you found yourself up on the rooftop. it was almost like the sun was recharging you. you had heard rumors of a girl who was recharged by the sun in national city, but hadn’t gone to search for her yet. your energy was slowly coming back, and you found the solace of the rooftop garden calming. it gave you time to think about everything, about how you needed to call your babica this week to update her on everything going on. how you needed to remind your sister to look for your mother’s secret family recipe. you had been longing for a taste of her gołąbki but could never get it just right. you missed your mother’s cooking dearly. it was one of the best memories you had of her- cooking for family gatherings with her and your sister, watching your step-brothers mess around on mario kart while the cookies were in the oven. leaving your immediate family after the death of your parents was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do. but the money you got from the city of new york was worth only seeing them twice a year if it meant you could help keep them afloat. after moving your sister and brothers into your grandparents house, tony had showed up with an offer only a fool would have turned down. you had accepted, only on the terms that your babica got a quarter of your yearly pay deposited in her bank account every year. you never outright told her that it was you who was giving her the money, but as long as you never said anything to her face she wouldn’t refuse it. 

the door to the garden opened and you looked up to see wanda, stress ball in her hand as she rounded the corner to where you were sitting. 

“oh i’m sorry,” her slovakian accent was heavier than normal- something that only seemed to happen when things reminded her of home. “i didn’t know you were up here.”

you smiled at her. “no worries, i was just sunbasking. come, there’s another seat over here. let me grab it for you.” 

you had purposely put two chairs on the monthly amazon list for this exact scenario. you were secretly hoping that wanda would start trying to seek you out more, mainly because you were hoping she’d become your friend. you had longed for strong female friendships your whole life, and you were finally starting to find them during your time here. natasha and maria were great for you, and you knew that adding wanda to the mix would be the perfect way to grow your comradery. knowing wanda had a very similar situation to you in regards to losing almost everything before coming here, you knew you had at least that in common. it hopefully wouldn’t be hard to find other things you had in common with the red head. 

“feel free to move it wherever, i just like this spot for the sun.” you adjusted the sunglasses that adorned your face. 

“it’s quite nice up here.” 

“i come up here sometimes to get away from everyone. it’s… how do you say pocieszenie in english?” 

wanda chuckled. “i’m glad i’m not the only one who trips up over my english.” 

“it’s hard to remember the english words sometimes, but natasha has been helpful with making sure that i understand what i’m speaking about.” you smiled fondly. “have you been settling in okay?” 

“mostly,” wanda nodded. “today was hard.” 

wanda had started to go through phases, it seemed, where the grief of losing pietro was more than she could handle. today was one of those days. the anger at fate for ripping her apart from the one thing that kept her tethered and sane, the anger at the world for letting everything happen the way it did… it was overwhelming to say the least. it was probably why wanda almost exploded earlier before tony pulled her back, sending her back to the compound about two hours before everyone else came back to “blow off some goddamned steam, maximoff”. wanda had to roll her eyes at that, knowing all too well today was not the day she would be blowing off steam. she had tried to work out when she got back, but it wasn’t the same without natasha or maria being there with her. she had hid in her room at that point, trying to find comfort in her old sitcoms that J.A.R.V.I.S was able to find for her. eventually, she had given up and decided to walk around. 

the walk was nice, until it wasn’t. the team had come back and everything was loud again. it was loud, everyone was running around and it had become a bit too much to handle. so wanda found herself climbing the stairs to the roof, where she knew she could escape to be alone. at least, until she realized you had found this spot too. she was almost mesmerized by you. you were everything she wanted to be. strong, independent, funny… the complete opposite of her. she was nowhere near that, she could barely make it through some days without crying out for her family. the sounds of the bombs going off reverberated through her mind in the early hours of the morning as she lay alone, knowing she was the last of the maximoffs to survive. 

from what she heard, you were similar. having lost a majority of your family a few years prior, you knew a lot of what she was going through. or at least, she hoped you did. she wanted someone she could be with who wouldn’t judge her for the nightmares that plagued her at night. she wanted someone who understood how the days could be so easy but then the next one could be so hard. understand that sometimes she just needed to sit in silence and crochet, something she and her mom did when she was younger- before everything happened. before her life turned upside down and she found herself in a different continent surrounded by different people who didn’t understand her. 

except for you. 

you two understood each other, to an extent. there was stuff neither of you knew about the other, sure, but you knew enough to know that sometimes you just needed each other's company. wanda appreciated it a lot, especially when she realized pepper put her room close to yours. she wasn’t sure what it was, but something drew her to you. maybe it was the fact you reminded her so much of home, of how comfort truly felt. but that’s definitely how friends felt about other friends, right?

“i get it.” you started, “i still feel the anger and sadness every single goddamned day. thinking of what i could change to make it better. for them to be here. i’d do anything to be with my babica and braćmi instead of here, thousands of kilometers away from them watching them grow up through pictures. but i’m here defending their honor. i’m doing this for them. because they’d want me to fight, even if it meant being away for so long.” 

“it’s so hard.” 

“co się stało, to się nie odstanie,” you looked to wanda. “you can only work to change your future. to be a better person and help other families have what we can’t.” a small smile graced your lips. “it’s hard work, but it’s worth it.” 

“yeah, it is.” wanda nodded. “how do you do it?”

you shrugged. “i don’t.”

“i don’t follow.” 

“i take it day by day. i can only control what’s happening now. not the past, not the future. but now. on the days that it’s hard, i just deal with it. going out and fighting helps, because it reminds me why i’m here and not at home. but every day won’t be the same.” you chuckle. “thor doesn’t seem to understand that.” 

wanda cracked a smile. “he can be quite a lot.” 

“you’ve got that right. i like the man, i do, but dear gods can he drink.” 

“it might be a asgardian thing.” the ginger chuckled. “do you think tony would notice if we took some beer?”

“probably not.” you got a glint in your eye. “wanna go steal some top shelf beer?” 

“only if we can watch movies and order in chinese.” 

“of but of course. the only way to spend a thursday night.” 

with a smile, the two of you got up and made your way inside, wanda following closely behind you. your hand joined with hers, sending a volt of electricity up your arm. out of the corner of your eye, you could have sworn you saw wanda’s eyes widen.

maybe she did feel the same way you did.

maybe.

translations co się stało, to się nie odstanie- what happened can't unhappen

[calicoheartz]

kate martin smut!!! Reader is stressed about school so kate takes it off her mind 😉😉

only if you want ofc🩷🩷

𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 ; 𝐊𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐈𝐍

꣑୧ — summary | kate x fem!reader where you’re stressed about school but kate shows you how good it feels to relax !

wc ; 821

— warnings | nsfw under the cut , suggestive content , fingering , head , etc r!recieving

my master list ㇀♡

a/n : im back from my little hiatus 😊 hope u guys enjoy this one , tysm for the requests & enjoy besties !

The library was almost empty, save for a few diligent students scattered across the tables. I was one of them, hunched over my laptop with a stack of textbooks surrounding me. Finals were approaching, and the pressure was unbearable. Every page I turned seemed to mock my inability to absorb the information.

“Hey, you okay?” a familiar voice broke through my haze of stress.

I looked up to see Kate Martin standing there, her eyes filled with concern. Kate had always been a source of comfort and strength for me. Her presence alone made the world feel a little less chaotic.

“Just trying to get through this mountain of work,” I sighed, rubbing my temples. “I don’t think I can take much more.”

Kate’s expression softened, and she took the seat next to me. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. How about we take a break?”

I shook my head. “I can’t. I have too much to do.”

Kate placed a hand on my arm, her touch warm and reassuring. “You need to relax. Trust me, it’ll help you in the long run.”

I hesitated, then nodded, knowing deep down that she was right. “Okay, just for a little while.”

We left the library and walked to Kate’s dorm, the cool evening air helping to clear my mind. Once inside, Kate put on some soft music and dimmed the lights, creating a calming atmosphere.

“Sit down,” she instructed gently, guiding me to the edge of her bed. “I’ll be right back.”

I watched as she disappeared into the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a bottle of massage oil. My heart started to race, a mixture of anticipation and nervousness swirling inside me.

“Lie down on your stomach,” Kate said, her voice soothing.

I obeyed, feeling the tension in my body start to melt away as I settled onto the bed. Kate straddled my hips, her hands working the oil into my shoulders and back. Her touch was firm yet gentle, each stroke easing the knots of stress that had built up over the past weeks.

“Just relax,” she whispered, leaning down to kiss the back of my neck. “Let me take care of you.”

Her lips trailed down my spine, sending shivers through my entire body. I closed my eyes, surrendering to the sensation. Kate’s hands continued their magic, and I could feel the last remnants of tension slipping away.

Kate’s hands roamed lower, her fingers brushing the hem of my shirt. She lifted it slowly, her touch igniting a fire within me. I arched my back slightly, a soft moan escaping my lips.

“Is this okay?” she asked, her voice husky with desire.

“Yes,” I breathed, my body yearning for her touch.

Kate’s hands moved with purpose, sliding under my shirt and caressing my bare skin. She leaned down, her breath hot against my ear. “I want to make you feel good,” she whispered, her words sending a thrill through me.

She kissed her way down my back, her hands skillfully removing my shirt. I turned over, meeting her gaze. The look in her eyes was one of pure adoration and desire. She leaned in, capturing my lips in a passionate kiss.

Our clothes soon lay forgotten on the floor, and Kate’s hands and lips explored every inch of my body. Her touch was electrifying, each movement driving me closer to the edge.

“You’re so beautiful,” she murmured, her lips grazing my collarbone.

I reached up, tangling my fingers in her hair and pulling her closer. “Kate, please,” I begged, needing her more than I had ever needed anything.

She moved between my legs, her mouth and hands working in perfect harmony. The pleasure built slowly, each wave more intense than the last. Kate’s name fell from my lips in a desperate whisper as she brought me to the brink.

When I finally reached my climax, it was like a dam breaking. The release was overwhelming, washing away all the stress and worry that had plagued me. I lay there, breathless and content, as Kate held me close.

We lay entwined on her bed, the room filled with the scent of massage oil and the sound of our slowing breaths. Kate stroked my hair, her touch tender and loving.

“Feel better?” she asked softly.

“Much better,” I replied, a smile tugging at my lips. “Thank you, Kate. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

She kissed my forehead. “You’ll never have to find out.”

I closed my eyes, feeling a sense of peace I hadn’t felt in weeks. Kate’s presence was a balm to my weary soul, and I knew that with her by my side, I could face anything.

As I drifted off to sleep in her arms, I felt a renewed sense of hope and strength. The stress of school was still there, but with Kate’s love and support, I knew I could conquer it.

a/n : yk I had to come back from my hiatus w some juicy smut !! tysm for reading :’)

[atinyniki]

baby bump

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!kim seungmin x f!reader

genre: angst with a happy ending

warnings + additional info: reader is referred to as y/n, established relationship, seungmin is referred to min, pup, and minnie, pregnancy, suggestive towards the end???

authors note: i love kim seungmin. that is all i have to say about this. this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 3250

“no no no”

this can’t be happening. 

you flip over the pregnancy tests to see 6 pink lines staring right at you. you took three, just to make sure you weren’t pregnant, but the tests didn’t come out the way you wanted them to.

you hear the front door close, and quickly scramble to hide the tests. walking out of the bathroom, you see a tired seungmin. his features are soft, relaxed, but his eyes are cold. 

“how was work?”

“exhausting.”

you frown, “i can tell, would you like dinner?”. “dinner sounds nice”

seungmin loves coming home to you. you’re his safe space, and it’s like all his problems disappear when you’re with him. he loves you a lot, and you know it.

after heating up the leftovers, you hand him his plate and you both sit at the table. his expression isn’t quite placeable, but if you were to guess, he looked pretty upset.

“what’s wrong minnie?”

his head jerks up at you quickly, your voice bringing him back from his thoughts. “oh… just comeback stress”

you hold his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. he seems to loosen up at this, and starts eating. 

you’re scared to tell him the news, but figured you’d tell him after the comeback mayhem has died down.

seungmin hasn’t been home a lot lately, and you’re just starting your eighth week of pregnancy. you recently got a checkup while seungmin was at work.

you’ve been throwing up a lot recently, but you figured it was normal in your first trimester. hopefully seungmin doesn’t notice anything’s wrong. he’s been a lot less attentive anyways.

“im home!”, you hear him yell from the front door.

“go shower, foods almost ready!”, you yell back.

you figured he’d appreciate you making his favorite meal when he got home, maybe it’d even cheer him up a little.

once he got back, you start setting out the food.

“how was your day?”

“exhausting.”

he had been answering that question the same way for weeks. it was always just ‘exhausting’. you just hoped that one day he would just respond with ‘good’, but he never did. 

there was nothing you could do to help with his work, but you could help at home. once you both finished your food, you brought him to the bed and peppered kisses all over his face. 

his soft giggles let you know you’ve succeeded, and you slowly start to calm down with the kisses. “seungmin…”

“yeah?”

the words sit right at the tip of your tongue. you have to tell him now, it’s the perfect time, but instead, you blurt out something else.

“i love you”

his heart swelled, “i love you too pup”, he smiled while he gave you a kiss.

you both drifted off to sleep that night, safe in eachothers arms.

it’s your 3rd month in right now, and if you’ll be honest it’s getting really hard to hide your baby bump.

seungmin hasn’t been home that much lately, he’s been working so late that he has to stay at the dorms. it’s getting harder and harder to do everything by yourself, and you can’t find the perfect time to tell seungmin about your baby either. 

you’ve been getting weaker, and your hormones were out of balance. random waves of whatever emotion passing through at different times, you just wanted to have seungmin by your side. he always knows how to calm you down.

you’re laying in bed now, scrolling through your phone, waiting for seungmins text to see if he’ll be coming home for the night. 

you slowly felt yourself drift off to sleep, but you tried to keep yourself up to wait for him. you felt too tired to stay awake anymore.

you wake up to your phone ringing hours later, ‘dog kisser’ it read. what would hyunjin be calling you for at almost four in the morning? you immediately picked up.

“hello?”, you cleared your throat once you heard how raspy it was.

“sorry, did i wake you? i was just calling to tell you that seungmin staying at the dorms again tonight”

“okay… thanks jin”

your tone threw him off. “what’s wrong y/n? are you okay?”

you ignore the question, “is seungmin still working?”

“uh yeah i think so, im worried about him y/n. he hasn’t slept at all, you should probably talk to him.”

“oh… okay, i will. you should sleep now hyunjin. 

“i will, you get some rest too. you sound tired”

you say your good nights and goodbyes, but you can’t seem to fall back asleep. you’re lying in your bed, your eyes wide open. you just want to cry, you’re so worried for seungmin, but from all the tears you’ve cried these past days, your eyes have dried out.

as much as you try to cry to finally get that release, they don’t leave your eyes. you can feel your heart cracking more and more every second you think about how seungmin must feel right now.

seungmin came home for once the next day, but it was extremely late. he came home to see your sleeping figure on the bed.

seungmin feels guilty for always being home so late. he doesn’t know the last time he’s heard your voice in person. 

tears well up in his eyes. he can’t imagine how terrible you must be feeling right now. what good is a boyfriend who can’t help his pregnant girl?

he quickly takes a shower and meets you in bed, careful not to shake you too much. he wants you to get as much rest as you can. he quickly bends down to kiss your baby bump, then your forehead. it’s become a routine at this point, since the only times he sees you is when you’re asleep.

he wants you to tell him when you’re ready…

its been a month. seungmin has stopped coming to the house completely, but he still manages to find time to call you everyday. his work has become more hands-on, so he has to be at the dorms and studios more often. 

he makes sure he’s understanding of how you’re feeling, making sure not to undermine any of your feelings.

it’s been so difficult without him, and you really do want to tell him, but you know it’ll make everything worse for him.

it’s been difficult for him too. he hasn’t told you but he’s been crying himself to sleep every night. the guilt is eating him alive, and there’s nothing he can do to help the pain. it’s gotten so loud that even jeongin has been able to hear him cry some nights.

seungmin comes home one night a week later, and he just can’t do it anymore. he’s been thinking about it for a while, but it was also kind of an impulsive decision. seeing you fall asleep on the couch waiting for him broke something in him.

tears start streaming down his face as he crouches down in front of you. he kisses your small baby bump again. he realizes you’ve been wearing thicker and looser clothing to hide it.

“y/n. y/n wake up”

your eyes slowly start fluttering open. your smile reaches your eyes after seeing your boyfriend after so long. you reach for his face, but he pulled away. that’s when you knew something was up.

“what’s wrong my love?”

his heart shattered right there and then, but it was too late. there was no way you could piece it back together for him, and neither could he. 

“i can’t do this anymore”

you look at him, head tilted in confusion. “what do you mean minnie?”

he stays silent. you begin to worry. did something happen at work? did his-

“i want to break up.”

oh. you weren’t expecting it, that’s for sure. you wanted to stay strong though. you figured being sad all the time probably wasn’t good for the baby.

you contained your tears as well as you could, but couldn’t seem to make out any words. your hands shook as you reached for his. 

“why?”

seungmin truly didn’t have an answer to that, not one he could tell you at least. he couldn’t tell you that the reason he’s leaving is because of his own guilt. he knows it’s selfish, but he couldn’t come home to you like this anymore. he couldn’t break you any more than he already has.

he hesitated for a bit, but eventually got something out. “i don’t think i love you anymore.”

lying to you hurt him more than anything else. he wished he could tell you he still loves you, but he knows that wouldn’t allow you to move on. that was unfair to you, and he didn’t want to make it any worse.

“did i do something?”

“no.”, he responded coldly. you’d never heard his voice like that before, not when he was talking to you.

you were at a loss for words, and your tears finally started falling. harsh sobs racked your body, and it was getting hard to breathe. through your struggles, you still managed to get a couple words out.

“you… i thought…”

“you thought what?”, he responded quickly.

“i thought… you w-were the one…”

hearing those words broke his entire soul. he didn’t know how long it’d take him to recover after that. he truly thought he was going to die right there. that it was a bad nightmare and he’d wake up any second. but he didn’t. 

“well, i’m not.”

he began to get up, he couldn’t bear to see your face anymore. it was so difficult for him to lie to you. 

“don’t go… please. stay with me, i’ll be better i- i promise”, you yelled through your tears. he was already darting towards the front door, but he turned around.

“bye, y/n”

an apology sat on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t let it out. quickly, he walks out the door before he can look back. there was no reversing what he had just done. he was certain he had just lost you forever.

before he actually left the estate, he lingered there for a while. it hurt him more, but he knew he deserved it. he heard you cry for hours that night, you never left your spot at the front of the door.

he brought you food from the convenience store and left it at your door, quickly ringing the doorbell and running back to his car, and leaving for good.

he felt like the worst exboyfriend in the world. how could he just leave you like that? it’s as if he treated you like you were nothing. like his baby meant nothing to him.

you regretted not telling him before. you still feel guilty about it, you’re carrying his baby girl and you couldn’t even find the courage to tell him.

seungmin went to the only person he could. chan.

chan was always down to earth, and gave the best advice. seungmin was in need of exactly what chan had to offer.

“chan please what do i do”

“please seungmin calm down, i can’t tell you anything until you chill”

chan helped him deal with his own feelings, but as much as he wanted to help his friend, he knew it was seungmins fault in the first place. 

seungmin really wanted you back, but he knew he couldn’t do that. he knew he’d just break you even more. he couldn’t play with you like that. but he just needed you back by his side.

you’re shot out of your thoughts by your phone ringing. 

“ji? what’s up?”

“y/n you need to pick seungmin up. please…”

your heart dropped at the thought of him again. the man that broke your heart with no explanation, and left you to pick up the pieces on your own. 

“why? what happened”

“i don’t know. he’s not okay… he hasn’t left his room and there’s just crashing and wailing”

wailing? you’ve seen seungmin cry but wailing was rare. something was up. there was a different part of the story that you weren’t aware of.

“ji… i don’t think i’m in proper condition to drive right now.”

“fine then. ill get changbin hyung to pick you up. please? it’s urgent.”, he begged.

“i… okay just- let me get ready”

you quickly throw on some clothes, careful to hide the bump. you knew you were going to tell seungmin once you got there. it was too much to hold on your own. 

changbin came to pick you up, and the drive there felt like torture. you just wanted to see seungmin again. as much as he hurt you, you missed him a lot.

you made small talk with changbin, but not much. he knew you were nervous, but he tried to distract you as much as you could. 

once you made it to the building you ran as fast as you possibly could.

you ran to his room and knocked. 

“seungmin it’s me. please open the door…”

seungmin rushed to open his door. he thought he was hallucinating.

your heart fell to your stomach when you saw him. bloodshot eyes, dark eyebags. his hair was a mess, he was a mess. his clothes were everywhere, things from his desk scattered all over the floor.

you slowly make your way into his room, careful not to scare him off. 

“seungmin…”

he slowly sunk to his knees in front of you, his mouth hung slightly agape.

he begins to smother your bump in kisses. your mind goes blank. he starts crying even more when he sees how big it’s really gotten, holding it in his two hands. 

he sunk down even lower, and he just hugged his knees and cried even harder.

you were at a loss for words. you didn’t know he knew, but you didn’t think you did a great job at hiding it anyways. you sat on the bed silently, right next to him. he was still crying, just at the foot of the bed.

“i’m so sorry…”, he mumbled out. 

it was the only thing you could hear him say within all the mumbling. 

“please, i’m so sorry”

“y/n, i’m so sorry”

his hands shook as he crawled towards you, tears hitting the floor with a splash. 

“i love you so much. i lied y/n. i love you to the ends of the world. i just… i didn’t know how much longer i could take seeing you like that. i thought it’d be better for you if i just left. you could’ve moved on and found someone better. your baby could’ve had a better dad, one who was actually present in their life and-“

“seungmin. you’re rambling”, you cut him off.

“i know i am, but i really have to explain. i want you back so bad y/n. you haven’t left my mind at all. i need you y/n. so much it hurts. i haven’t been the same since i met you. i’ve been so used to keeping to myself but then i got attached. i miss you. i miss us. i just knew i couldn’t keep hurting you… so i left. but now i just regret it and i was so stupid and-“

he stops talking when you reach a hand down to him and help him up. his knees wobble as he stands, but he gets up and sits down on the bed.

“i’m so sorry pup…”

you didn’t answer him, you just held him for a bit. you let him cry into your chest, even though you were still in pain. you were glad you had some closure now. you knew that he still loved you, but you couldn’t take him back. you had to know that he wouldn’t do anything like that again. 

“seungmin, you have to start telling me these things. if anything, take a break. you can’t let all of this pile onto you, there has to be some way you can let it out. talk to me, please.”

“do you still-“, a hiccup, “-love me?”

you couldn’t help but smile a little. you wipe the tears off of his face and pinch his cheek a little. “of course i do min. i don’t think i could ever stop”

“be my wife”

your heart jumped right back up. “what?”

he quickly ran to go grab the box that was on the floor, pulling out a gorgeous black diamond ring.

“i love you y/n. i truly want to spend the rest of my life with you. take me back, please.”, his voice was sincere, still shaky from all the crying. 

you were in shock, you really wanted to accept but you were scared he’d leave again. “promise me you won’t leave me again seungmin”

“i won’t. i promise if i get you back i’ll never let you go”

you let out a light sigh and smiled. you wrapped your arms around him, foreheads touching, “i love you minnie”

he held your wrist and put the small band on your finger. 

letting out a shaky breath, he pulls you in for another kiss. his tears dripped onto your nose as he pushed you further onto the bed, now hovering over you.

“i love you so much y/n. thank you”, he says between kisses. you can feel him smile against you, his velvety lips waltzing with yours.

he cups your baby bump with his hands and kisses all around it.

“how far in are you”, he smiled up at you.

you couldn’t resist the way his gentle eyes looked at you. he just looked so adorable like this right now. you use your hands to cup his face and pull him up. 

you stare into his eyes, “i’m six months in… she’s a girl”. tears leave his eyes once again, kissing you softly.

“i love you both so much, i promise i’ll never leave you again.”

he kisses you again, this time more sensually. soft ‘i love you’s echoing throughout the room. you missed him so much, you were happy he finally realized it.

his hands travel up your waist, still kissing down your neck. light red heart-shaped splotches appear all across your collarbone.

every kiss feels like your heart and body is being set on fire. you were so happy to finally have him after so long.

suddenly, the door flings wide open, the boys all piling on top of eachother like dominos.

“YOHHH I SAID NOT TO LEAN ON THE DOOR”, you heard changbin yell.

“IM SORRY JEEZ- I COULDNT HEAR BECAUSE THEY WENT QUIET”, hyunjin yelled back. you couldn’t stop yourself from laughing. they all scramble to get up and leave the room. 

chan lingers for a little bit. “congratulations you two”, he says with a bright smile, “you’re both going to be amazing parents”

seungmin settles down next to you on the bed, hugging your body as tightly as he could. “can i just hold you for a bit?”

“of course minnie”, you couldn’t help but chuckle at how much he looked like a puppy right now.

“i missed you y/nnie”

“i missed you so much more min.”

his hand meets yours and he gives it a squeeze, playing with the dainty diamond that decorated your ring finger. he was ready to start this new chapter of his life with you, as long as he had you and his baby girl by his side.

<3

[eand47]

Chapter V | Siri

Summary: You moved to one of the biggest cities in the world - Grand Line to pursue filmmaking career. Soon enough your path will cross with the vocalist of upcoming band called “The Neighbourhood”. At first you decided to be just friends - because it would be easier, but sadly as everything in life sometimes by taking the easy path we regret a lot of things.

Main characters: Portgas D Ace x Reader (female)

Supporting characters: Nami, Usopp, Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Law, Deuce, Shanks, Buggy, Sabo, Eustass Kid, Koala, Robin, Dave (OC), (more to be add)

Description: Modern AU | Musician Ace

WARNINGS: explicit language, use of nicotine/cigarettes, use of weed/joint, slight smut, sexual content , mentions of alcohol, mentions of narcolepsy, conflict feelings, MINORS INTERACT ON YOUR OWN RISK (18+)

Word Count: 15,6K

<- previous chapter

NOTE: This chapter was rewritten like ten times and still I feel like it could of been better. As you can see from the warnings, there is some smut in it, as I decided to test the waters with it (please read the note at the end, as I don’t want to spoil anything for you at the beginning). I hope that you will enjoy the chapter as I tried to make it serious but also fun and unbelievable in some moments as it is usually in real life. Also a BIG BIG THANK YOU to all of you who comment, reblog, like and follow me it means the world to me 🥹🫶 And thank you for the sweet messages when I shared with you that I haven’t been feeling good this past week, you all are amazing human beings <3333

“It’s great, I was sure you gonna nailed it.” Dave tilted his head looking at me with a big grin spread across his face. I finished editing the footage for the music video last night and called him to meet me today for a coffee. We were sitting on a table for two in my favourite coffee shop. I was nervously biting on my nails, my brows frown not fully satisfied or convinced that the video was good enough.

“You sure? I don’t think it’s there yet.” I breathed out, rubbing my temples as I’ve already had a headache. “And I must send it by tomorrow as I promised Marco, a-and I must work on my short-cut as we start filming next week, a-a-and I don’t have location, I-I have nothing.” I gibbered, clicking on the computer mouse, opening different programs, trying to find a way to make it better. It was not good enough and I didn’t have much time left to sent it. “Why, why, why did I agree to do this?” Stress was taking over me these past days; I thought that I could manage a lot of things at the same time not realising that I was not ready for this yet.

“Hey, hey, hey.” Dave gently grabbed my hand and put the mouse away. He gently stared to run circles on my back trying to calm me down. “The video is amazing; you can’t do it any better than it is already.” He looked me in the eyes, and I could see that he meant what he was saying. “Take some deep breaths.” His tone was gentle. He put his arm around my shoulder pushing me closer to him. “You did great. Hell, I should show you the first video that I did, so you can see what a bad music video looks like.” I giggled at his attempt to cheer me up. I took a deep breath and tilted my head up as I could feel some tears building up in my eyes, ready to fall. “Hey, no crying.” Dave gently whipped the tear that rolled from the corner of my eye.

“I’m sorry, I’m not a cry baby I promise.” I chuckled trying to hold back the tears.

“I know you aren’t. I think you stressed yourself way too much.” His thumb continued to gently crease my cheek. I looked at him and nodded, my lip trembling. “The video is perfect, now save the files and just relax.” He reassured me again, giving me little squeeze on the shoulder.

“You are right.” I saved the files and closed the laptop. “Thank you, Dave.” I whispered, glancing at his sincere green eyes. He slightly nodded and gave me one of his sweet smiles.

“Don’t look at it anymore and just send it to their manager.” Dave let go of me and took a sip of his coffee. I also took a sip of mine and made a grimace. We stayed in silence for a second, as I was lost in my own thoughts, until Dave cleared his throat. “Can I... Can I ask you something?” He rubbed the back of his neck, unsure how to ask whatever he had in mind.

“Of course you can.” I turned all my attention to him.

“Is there something going on between you and I think his name was Ace?” His gaze focused on me.

“What? No, why?” My eyes were shifting between him and the coffee mug in my hands.

“Well, there was obviously some tension between you two on set, so I thought that you might... you know.” He awkwardly shrugged. I puffed and gave him a dismissive wave of with my hand.

“I was just pissed because he was late, that’s all.” I lied, something I caught myself doing a lot lately, especially when it came to Ace. “I hate it when people are not serious you know, and he wasn’t that day on set, so I got pissed.” This was not a lie. Ace did piss me off with his behaviour on set, not only for that, but Dave didn’t need to know.

“Yeah, that was a little annoying.” He agreed with me. “And arrogant.” Dave added. I side-eyed him for a second. “Honestly, from all the guys he was giving the weirdest vibes.”

“What do you mean?” I wanted him to elaborate more by what he meant by Ace being the ‘weirdest’.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. He is your friend after all.” The regret in his voice was clear as he quickly apologised but I shook my head.  

“We are not that close.” I pointed out. “But for real, why did you get this vibe from him? I personally think that Law is the weirdest.” I laughed, thinking of all the awkward situations I have had with Law. He was also the one I have spoken the least with.

“Nah, Law’s pretty cool.” Dave disagreed with me, nudging my shoulder. “Well, I don’t know... Ace was kinda giving me some weird looks.”

“What? For real?” I blinked surprised at Dave. “I didn’t notice anything. Are you sure he did?” Ace might be an ass from time to time, but I didn’t notice anything on set, he seemed pretty chilled with all of the guys.

“I don’t know, you are right and maybe I misread the situation.” I didn’t know what to respond, so I just gave him an awkward smile. “Look I didn’t want to bad mouth Ace or anything like it, I swear.” Dave run his hand over his hair, as he gave me a regretful look.

“Dave, please. You didn’t bad mouth anyone, if he did act like this then he is an ass.” I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. I didn’t want Dave to feel bad, for sharing his view of someone with me. “And I’m not going to tell him anything, so don’t worry.”

*************

I got home and the first thing that I did was to take a warm shower. I took of my clothes and throw them in the laundry basket. Before I got in the shower, I put some music on my phone and left it on the sink. I got in the shower and let the warm water run down my body. It helped relaxing my tensed muscles. The whole room was steamed, making everything foggy. The past few days were quite stressful for me and the upcoming ones wouldn’t be any different. From shooting the music video, to editing it and the stress if they were going to like it, to my upcoming short-cuts, my mind was going to explode. On top of it I couldn’t stop thinking about Ace, no matter how hard I tried not to. In a way he had gotten under my skin. He was so suffocating and hard to understand at times. His whole behaviour was so confusing, one second, he was all nice, bubbly and open with me and the next he was cold, and moody and overall, an asshole. I confidently can say that I’m good with reading people and understanding why they act the way they do, but Ace was another story. From what he had shared with me so far, I knew that he hadn’t had it easy in life. Especially growing up without parents, it definitely took a tool on him. I want to get to know him more and be his friend, but I’m not sure how much he would let me in his life and mind.

I couldn’t stop thinking of the afternoon we spent together on Saturday, if I was to make a cheesy movie, I would definitely recreate it. I was surprised even then how much he opened, but then so did I. Not even Nami and Usopp knew about my mother. Something that Saturday made me trust him and that same thing made him trust me. Part of me started to wonder, what if he regrated opening, as it might have been too soon, giving the fact we have known each other for almost a month. Then the scene with Samantha, and the way he was enjoying it, made my blood boil. The satisfaction in his eyes when I cut the scene right before their kiss, and the cocky smirk he had on his face, like he knew why I did it, only added fuel to my irritation with him. And the audacity to text me right after.

“Fucking Ace” I cursed under my breath as I felt myself getting irritated once again. Rubbing the bodywash up and down my body and the hot water washing it away, my mind was full of Ace. I tried to take my mind off him, but I couldn’t. I felt this warm feeling building up inside of me. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I ran one of my hands down my neck to my breast. Closing my eyes the first thing that my mind thought off was the feeling of when I was holding onto Ace’s torso while we were on his motorbike. “No, fuck.” My eyes shoot open as I shook my head quickly getting rid of the thoughts. I tried to calm myself as I was getting heated up. I reached for the towel hanged next to the shower door and wrapped it around myself. “Fuckin’ Ace.” I whispered to myself. “Fucking Ace.” I called out louder, as I smacked my hands on the sink. “Fuckin’, fuckin’ Ace.” I got mad at myself for letting him have such effect on me.

“Calling Ace.” My eyes widen as I heard Siri’s voice. I grabbed my phone as quick as possible, which had already dialled Ace’s number. Because of my wet fingers the screen wasn’t responding, no matter how fast I tried to cancel the call.

“Hey, doll.” His voice raspy and low. “You aren’t mad at me anymore?” He snorted.

“A-Ace.” My voice came out like I was out of breath. I slapped myself on the face.

“Uh... doll? Are you okay?” His voice sounded confused. “You sound a little out of breath.”

“So do you.” I quickly replied.

“You caught me in the middle of workout.” He huffed.

“Same.” I looked in the mirror at my reflection making a grimace at myself at the answer I gave him.

“And what are you working out?” He didn’t believe my answer at all, I could of hear it in his voice.

“Running.” I spatted out.

“So, you are working our running... interesting. How many are you running?”

“Five.”

“Five what, doll?” He laughed. “You ran out of words or something?” He teased me.

“Kilometres, five kilometres.” I scrunched my face as I mentally slapped myself, as I couldn’t come up with worse answer than this.

“Wow, impressive. We should run together sometime then.” I just hummed in respond to this. “And what made you call me?”

“I...um...I called you... because...” I tried to think of a quick excuse as I tighten the towel around my body. “Because of the video.” I blurted out.

“It’s done?” He sounded surprised.

“Yes, and you are the first one to know that, remember how you ask me to be the first one to know, there you go. You welcome.” I chuckled, regaining my confidence.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I did not.”

“Ace, you did.” Was he trying to irritate me, and it was working.

“I asked you to be the first one to see it, not the first one to know.” He clarified. I bit my tongue, the audacity this man had was unmatched. “So when can we watch it?”

“I am going to emailed it to Marco, but if you text me your email, I can send it to you as well.”

“No, come over my place and we can watch it together.” I was taken aback from his suggestion.

“I’m extremely tired, so thank you, but no.” I politely decline his offer.

“Take a nap, it’s barely 3PM, I will come and pick you up around six.” He didn’t tell or ask me; he literally commanded me.

“Ace I just told you I’m tired.” I hissed.

“Didn’t I give you a solution just a second ago?” He was testing my patience at this point.

“Ace, I’m not the type you can order around.” I rolled my eyes annoyed.

“Is that a challenged, doll?” He teased.

“Ace you are...” He didn’t let me finish.

“Charmin, I know. Now tell me what your plans for the night are?” I could feel the smug smirk on his face without even seeing him.  

“Sleeping.” I spatted.

“I promise I will get you back home the latest around ten.” Ace wasn’t going to give up.

“You won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, will you?” He clicked with his tongue. “Fine, but under one condition.” I sighed.

“Shoot.”

“You send me the address and I come by myself, because I’m not getting on that thing again.” He laughed as I referred to his motorbike as ‘that thing’.

“Sure, I’ll send you the address.” And with this he hung up. I ran my fingers through my wet hair and sighed deeply. I looked at my phone and whined.

“How? How did you hear ‘call Ace’, hu? Explain!” I was talking to my phone like it can respond to me. I didn’t know how to call this, but some cosmetic power out there was clearly beefing with me, as what just happened right now, was made up straight out of a movie.

**********

Around five-something pm, I woke up from the nap I took. I stretched my body and reached to take my phone and check the address that Ace sent me. It was thirty minutes away with the metro.

“Ops, guess I will be late.” I said to myself with a sly smile. Ace could wait for a little bit.

I put a pair of dark blue leggings on and just a white hoodie on top. I grabbed my bag, but first checked if I got everything with me. I left my place and went to catch the metro. After almost forty minutes I was in front of his front door. The area where Ace lived was quite nice depending on which side of it you live. He lived in the middle between the good and the bad side, which I found kind of ironic. From what I have gotten to know him so far, Ace was somehow always in between something. The building where he lived was old from the outside but renovated from the inside. He had sent me the code for the entrance door of the building, so I easily got in. His apartment was on the last floor and there was no elevator, so by the time I reached the seventh floor I was out of breath. I made a mental note to myself that I need to consider started working out. I chewed on my bottom lip as tension started to build up in me before I rang the bell, and a sight left my lips. I looked down as I was playing nervously with my fingers waiting for Ace to open the door. The door swinged open, and Ace stood in front of me. I lifted my head slowly and I was met with Ace’s bare upper body, as only a pair of grey sweatpants were hanging low on his hips. My eyes widen and I immediately looked away.

“You are late, doll.” A smug smirk was growing on his face as he saw me all flushed and avoiding his gaze.

“You are not the one to speak about who’s late or not.” I snapped quietly. He moved aside and let me in. I stepped inside and took off my shoes, kicking them on the side. Ace closed the door behind me, and I followed him. The apartment was spacious. By the entrance, on the left, was a door that was closed and next to it was the kitchen which wasn’t very big and had no door. From the small hallway we went straight to the spacious living room. The walls were anchor grey colour with some naked spots on most corners and you could see the bricks. The two big windows, on each side of the wall where a big TV was placed, were almost touching the floor, and some long off-white curtains were hanged on them. In the middle was a big L-shaped light grey couch with a square coffee table in front of it. In the right spaced corner Ace had a desk by the window, which was quite a mess with pencils and sheets of paper everywhere, even on the ground. By the desk were positioned three guitar stances, only two guitars placed there the third one missing. The corner wall there was covered in posters of different bands and artists. On the left side of the living room behind the couch almost to the corner was another door which was closed as well. The left side wall had another big window but that one didn’t reach the floor like the others. In front of it was big sideboard with a lot of picture frames on top of it. The apartment overall was super clean and tidy, which surprised me a little as I always thought of Ace as a messy guy.

“Wow, your place is amazing.” I said as he offered to take my bag, and I handed it to him, still avoiding looking at his direction. I sat on the couch where I saw the third missing guitar.

“Do you want to drink something? I have like coke and beer.” He came by the back of the couch and picked the guitar putting it back to its place.

“Is it zero?” I glanced at him, his back facing me. His broad back was defined with muscles. I always thought he had a back tattoo but apparently, I was wrong, instead the back of his shoulders was covered with freckles.

“Uh... I have to check.” He scratched the back of his neck as he smiled at me. I slowly nodded and moved my eyes away from his body as he left the room. My eyes landed on the paper sheets on the table and the pen on top of them. I tilted my head to take a better look at them.

“Do you want ice?” Ace yelled from the kitchen.

“Yes, please.” I yelled back. He came soon after with a can of Coke Zero and a glass full of ice. “Thank you.” I whispered as he handed it to me. I poured the Coke into the glass and took a big sip. Ace put the paper sheets away and sat on the other side of the sofa, leaning back as he spreads his legs like a slut, and pulled up his phone.

“Have you eaten?” He asked me without looking at me but scrolling on his phone.

“Uh, no I haven’t.” I murmured, swallowing hard.

“What do you want to eat?” He glanced at me.

“I don’t have preferences.” I shrugged. Ace looked again at me and sighed.

“Doll, relax please. You know you can lay or just lean comfortably, no need to be stiff at all. Feel at home, I mean it.” He threw one of the small pillows on the couch at me and I caught it. I didn’t say anything, I just hugged the pillow and leaned back on the couch. “So, I don’t know... Pizza?” Ace raised his eyebrows waiting for a respond.

“Sure, pizza is good.” I nodded.

“Have you tried this place ‘Pappa Grappa’ they have th-” I didn’t let Ace finished his sentence as I squeaked excitedly almost choking as I was taking a sip of the cola. Ace’s eyes widen at my reaction as he gave me a questionable look.

“Are you kidding me? They are the best! And oh my God, their chicken wings, have you tried them?” I moved to sit right next to him, excitement taking over me. Ace just shook his head in response to my question. I gasped. “Oh my God, Ace. Ace, Ace you must try them. You don’t understand those chicken wings taste like haven, like if haven was food it was going to be this chicken wings.” I grabbed him by the biceps and squeezed it, all my shyness left my body as I was babbling to him about the chicken wings. Ace smiled at my childish excitement.

“Doll, why don’t you take my phone and order whatever you heart desires and I just take care of the payment, hm?” He handed me his phone to take it.

“No, let’s split it thi-.” I insist but Ace shushed me fast.

“You are not paying for anything. Now choose whatever you want.” He leaned back on the couch, both arms behind his neck, eyes fixed on me. I wanted to protest, but arguing with Ace was impossible as he would never back up.

“But next time is on me.” I looked at him seriously.

“Yeah, sure.” He snorted. I couldn’t help but noticed that his abs tensed when he laughed. My eyes moved quickly back to his phone, as I felt a wave of heat hitting me up. I cleared my throat before I spoke.

“What pizza do you want?”

“Your choice.” I nodded to his response and went with my favourite pizza. Once I added the chicken wings as well, I handed him the phone so he could proceed with the payment. “So.. how are you doing, doll?” He put his phone in his sweatpants pocket and looked at me. Even though Ace had a smug look on his face, his eyes weren’t. His deep brown eyes had this soft look, nothing mischievous or mocking behind them, just pure softness.

“Been better, you?” I leaned on the couch, a bit of a space between us. I grab one of the pillows behind my back and put it on my lap as I brought my legs close to me and crossed them.

“Why’s that?” Ace frowned upon hearing my response.

“I’m just extremely stressed that is all.” I shrugged. “How have you been?”

“Same as always. Still stressed about your… short-cuts, was it called that?” He raised his eyebrow questioningly.

“Yeah, I haven’t found a location for the party scene, but I might ask Dave for help, as he might know someone who can let us film in his apartment.” I clicked with my tongue. Ace clenched his jaw as he hummed. “What?” I chuckled at his reaction.

“What, what?” He frowned his eyebrows.

“What was with that ‘reaction’?” I mimicked his jaw clenching and hum. Ace shook his head denying it.

“I never did this. But anyway, aren’t you here to show me the video?” He quickly changed the subject.

“Yes, I need my laptop.” I was about to stand up, but Ace stopped me and instead he did and brought me my bag. I thanked him and took the laptop out of my bag. I took a deep breath as I opened it, and it loaded. Ace sat closer to me this time, his body almost touching mine. “So, I edit it like thousand times, but this is the final edit. I was literally going crazy over it and Dave had to calm me down and reassured me that it is good.” A little giggle escaped my lips. I was too focused on the screen and didn’t see Ace rolling his eyes.

“I’m sure you did a good job.” Ace bit the inside of his cheek. I slightly tilted my head and side-eyed him, before opening the video file.

“Okay, are you ready?” I asked before pressing play. He nodded, his face emotionless. ‘Asshole’ I thought to myself, at lease he could pretend that he was excited to see his own video. I pressed play and the video started. My eyes were moving between the laptop and Ace the whole time, but I couldn’t read his face. His face was like a stone. I started to feel more and more uncertain with every passing second, biting on my nails now afraid of his reaction. What if he doesn’t like the video or worst hate it? My thoughts were running wild, while his eyes were glued to the screen. The video ended and I waited for his response.

“So…. What do you think?” I swallowed hard, the tension he was building was killing me.

“Oh, doll…” He clicked with his tongue, shaking his head as he pursed his lips. My eyes widen at his reaction.

“No, no, no.” I shook my head in distress. I jumped on my feet as I covered my face with my hands. “I knew you were going to hate it, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry.” My eyes filed up with tears immediately and my lip started trembling.  

“No, no, hell, don’t cry, doll.” Ace jumped from the couch and grabbed me by the shoulders. “I was kidding, please, don’t cry.” He tried to calm me down.

“No, you are lying.” I didn’t believe him, his reaction said it out loud that he wasn’t happy with the video.

“No, I’m not.” He cupped my face in his hands making me look at him. “(Y/N), the video is amazing. I swear upon my dead mother I love the video, doll.” I blinked at him, as a tear rolled down my face. Ace quickly whipped it with his thumb. “Doll, please don’t cry. I just wanted to mess around with you a little, I swear.” He pulled me towards his chest and wrapped his arms around me. My heart skipped a beat. His skin was so warm and soft, yet his body felt so hard and muscular. I froze in his embrace. My heartbeat fastens, we have never been this close before, except from when were on his motorbike but that was different. I took a deep breath, and I got lightheaded. I never noticed how good Ace smelled - a woody, citrusy and musky notes perfectly mixed in one creating this intoxicating scent of a man. Ace let go of me after a moment and took a step back, lifting my chin up with two of his fingers looking at my eyes. “I’m sorry.” His eyes were sincere.

“You really like it?” My voice came out like a whisper.

“I don’t like it, I love it. I knew you can do it.” He moved a strand of my hair and gently put it behind my ear.

“You are an asshole. I hope you are aware of that.” I frowned my eyebrows at him, as I turned and sat on the couch, facing away from him. Ace smiled and sat next to me and pulled me closer to him with one hand. He wrapped it around my shoulder and whispered in my ear:

“I am. But please don’t be mad at me, doll.” His breath was hot on my skin, and I got goosebumps all over my body. I turned my head to look at him our faces inches apart. I slightly open my mouth to say something, but nothing came. My brows still frowned as I was still affected. He was just observing me, not saying anything, his eyes soften again.

“I should be packing my stuff and leave now but be thankful that I’m starving otherwise I would have been gone by now.” I finally told him, turning my head away from him. Ace heartly laughed and nodded agreeing with me. His phone rang and he quickly picked up – it was the delivery guy and Ace told him that he was going to come down in a second.

“Faster.” I yelled after him as I heard him opening the front door. He just laughed in response before closing it. I huffed and looked around. My eyes land on the big sideboard with the picture frames. I got up from the couch and went to look at them. They were mostly of him with his brothers or friends. I picked the one of all three of them as kids smiling wide with one front tooth missing, Luffy looking so much smaller than his big brothers, they were no older than eight or nine years old.

“Snooping around?” Ace said behind me. I jumped a little as I didn’t hear him coming back at all.

“Sorry, hope you don’t mind me looking at the pictures.” I chuckled still holding the frame. “This is super cute picture.” I pointed out.

“Wanna hear the story behind it?” I nodded eagerly as I handed him the framed photo. “So, me and Sabo lost the same front tooth at the same time. I think we were around nine years old. And to not feel left out, five years old Luffy went, and till this day we don’t know how he managed but took out the exact same tooth. Kid was so happy that he was matching with us, until he had to wait two years for the tooth to grow back.” Ace placed the picture on its place and we both laughed when he finished the story.

“This is so funny, but I feel so bad for poor little Luffy.” I cooed.

“Yeah, poor Luffy.” He smiled. “Come on, doll. Your wings are here, don’t want them to get cold, do you?” He pinched my cheek and turned around. Just before I followed him, my eyes landed on a picture that caught my attention. I gasped, Ace heard me and tilted his head to look at me. I carefully picked the frame in my hands. The picture was of a woman. Her hair was long very light strawberry blonde colour, a hibiscus flower was placed behind her left ear. She was smiling, her dark brown eyes were full of life and her face was cover with freckles. Ace came and stood closer to me, not saying anything.

“That’s you mom, right?” I looked at him, he was looking at the picture with so much adoration and softness. He softly hummed in response. “God, Ace she was gorgeous.” I whispered. Looking at her now I understood where Ace got his beauty from.

“I know.” He softly said.

“You look so much her.” I smiled at him. Ace looked at me with wide eyes, full of surprise and shock.

“What?” He breathed out. I put the picture back making sure I positioned it as it was before I picked it up.

“What? D-did I said something wrong?” I blinked confused.

“N-no, you are just the first person who has ever said this to me.” There was both surprise and sadness in his voice. I raised my brows not expecting to hear this.

“Are you kidding me? You are literally like her twin.” Ace swallowed hard when he heard my words. It didn’t take me long to realise that I stuck something within him with my words. I saw his reaction and gently took his hand in mind and gave it a squeeze. “I think there are some very delicious chicken wings and pizza waiting for us.” I wiggled my eyebrows at him trying to distract him from his thoughts. Ace cleared his throat and nodded, shaking the thoughts away. We sat down on the coach, and I excitedly started taking the food out of the bag.

“Could you please bring two plates and a lot of napkins please?” I flutter my eyelashes at him. He quickly got up and did exactly what I told him to do. He came back and handed me the plates as he sat down closer to me this time. “So, are you ready, to try the most tender, mouth-watering, making you taste haven, juicy, flavoury rich, orgasm reaching chicken wings in the world?” I seriously said while looking at Ace in the eyes. He covered his mouth trying to hold his laughter but his whole body was shaking. I opened the box with the wings and smelled it breathing out loudly. I took two and handed one of it to Ace.

“Now, this is not an ordinary chicken wing, so you eat them a certain way.” I lift my finger in the air pointing out how important it was for him to listen to me carefully now. “You grab the wing, you place it in your mouth and then just bite on it and pull out the bone. They are so tender that a gentle bite strips all the meat, you got it?” I pointed my finger at him.

“Got it.” He lifted his hands in the air, like he was under arrest. I gave him a cheer with the wing and nodded letting him know that he can eat now. I did the same, the moment the juiciness and the BBQ sauce touched my tongue I couldn’t stop the moan that left my lips. I leaned on the couch as I was enjoying the taste, my eyes closed. Ace was taken aback from my reaction last thing he expected was to hear me moan. He swallowed and licked his lips, looking at me.

“Doll, you good?” He lifted his head a bit to look at my face.

“I’m having soul orgasm now, please don’t interrupt me.” I lifted my hand to his face to make him stop talking. Ace burst out laughing, he put the plate to the side as he grabbed on his stomach. “What are you laughing at? This is better than sex.” I chuckled.

“Look, doll. The wings are good, I give you this – you were right about them, but…” He took a breath trying to calm himself down. “Nothing can beat sex.” He shook his head at me as he opened the pizza box taking a slice of it.

“Sex is overrated.” I disagreed with him as I took another wing, enjoying the test of it. Ace snorted out when he heard me.

“Doll, all respect here, but if you have slept only with boys who had no idea how to please a woman, that’s on them, not sex.” He winked at me, and I rolled my eyes at his comment. “Why the eye rolling? You know I’m right. Come on, if it’s not that personal and uncomfortable for you… have you never you know… had a mind blowing sex?” He deeply exhaled; his eyes were full of curiosity a little devilish smile playing on his lips. I sighed gesturing him to hand me a slice of pizza. He did and I thanked him, as I took a bite of it. I lifted my finger to tell him to give me a second before I response.

“I’ve done it only once so far, and it was bad, like embarrassing bad.” Shivers ran down my spine as I remembered my first time. My face cringed at the thought of it.

“Sorry to hear that, doll.” He chuckled before taking a bite of his slice. “When was it?”

“Last year.” I replied. “Yours?” I glanced at him.

“I was seventeen.” I got surprised by his answer. “What?” He noticed my reaction.

“Nothing just… I thought… I don’t know… like you are going to say something like fifteen.” I shrugged.

“I wish.” Ace huffed and we shared a laughed. ”But seriously, just because one guy did you bad, doesn’t mean all of them will.” I gave him a look and rolled my eyes at him. “Hey, take it as an advice from a friend.” He pointed his finger at me.

“Sure, Ace, sure.” I gave him a thumb up, as I was taking another wing.

“Hm, come here.” Ace gestured me with two fingers to lean towards him. I did and he ran his thumb on the corner of my lips. “You had a little sauce on you, doll.” He licked his finger clean.

“You could give me a napkin.” I remarked licking my lips.

“Why? I can always clean you good.” He smirked at me. I facepalmed myself, shaking my head as I tried not to laugh. I couldn’t deny it, but I always have fun around Ace. The moment I relax around him it feels like I could be myself without any modesty. We finished eating and I stood to clean the table, but Ace stopped me again and told me that he would take care of it. I checked the time, and it was already 9PM.

“Wanna smoke one?” Ace asked me when he finished cleaning around.

“Oh, I don’t smoke cigarettes. Plus, I have to go it’s getting late.” I half smiled at him.

“Stay the night, you can sleep in my bed, I can sleep here.” Ace shrugged as he sat next to me again. “And I didn’t mean cigarettes, I have some weed… you know we can roll one.” He winked at me, a little smirk playing on his lips.

“Thanks Ace, but some other time. I must search for a place where I can shoot the party scene tomorrow, as I have like five days until it’s my turn to film it.” I leaned my head on the back of the couch and tilted it towards Ace.

“I can help you with this just stay the night, plus I’m ether driving you, as I will not let you go alone at that time, or you stay here for the night.” His face might not seem stern, but his tone was.

“Am I a hostage now?” I lightly chuckled and pouted my lips.

“Hostages don’t have choice, but you do.” He raised his eyebrows waiting for my response.

“I don’t have anything with me Ace, not even a toothbrush.”

“I can give you one. Something else you would need, doll?” He leaned closer to me, his eyes locked with mine. I inhaled and exhaled deeply, shaking my head.

“You are so persistent.” I pushed him on the chest. Ace laughed at me before he got up from the couch.

***************

We shared a joint and now we were laying on the couch, soft music was playing in the background from the speaker. Ace was lounged on the couch, hands behind his neck, his head propped on the back of the couch. I was laying on the couch with my head leaned on Ace’s lap. I felt so high, as I couldn’t remember the last time I smoked weed. The silence between us was terrifically comfortable.

“Ace...” I whispered tilting my head up, to take a better look at him. He hummed in response not looking at me. “What made you believe in me?”

“What do you mean, doll?” His voice raspy and low, almost like a whisper.

“You had never seen any of my work, yet you trusted me enough to direct your band’s first and most important video...” I took a deep breath. “Why?” Ace didn’t respond at first.

“I don’t know, doll. I had a feeling, so I went with my gut.” He finally looked at me, his eyes were half lidded as usually but this time they were so red. He was probably as high as me. I slowly nodded moving my gaze to the wall covered with posters, knowing that I won’t get any further answers from him. As I was lost in my own thoughts I felt his hand on my head, his fingers running through my hair. This made me relax even more. “But I wasn’t wrong.” Ace broke the silence. “You did great, doll. Believe more in yourself.” My heart skipped a beat when I heard him saying this.

“It’s hard, you know?” I whispered. “I can’t shake the ‘imposter’ feeling in me, no matter what people tell me.” I quietly confessed. “It doesn’t mater how good something turns out to be, it is never a hundred percent perfect, you know? Like it can aways be better, yet it can never be perfect. Nothing can ever be perfect...” My voice was so low, I wasn’t even sure if Ace heard me. His fingers moved slowly and gently to my cheek caressing it. I leaned into his touch closing my eyes.

“I know what you mean, doll.” He softly said, voice still low and raspy. “I feel the same, after every show. I have been living with the ‘imposter’ syndrome my whole life.” I was listening carefully to Ace, as he was opening to me again. “I wish... I wish, I have been feeling, as an imposter, only for when it comes music, but... I feel that way about everything, even life itself.” I turned my head to look at his face. His eyes were looking at me. Sadness and doubt could have been read in them. I turned my body to the side and placed a hand on his chest, heart beating steady. His fingers still on my cheek as he was running them up and down slowly. “I feel like I’m bringing the guys down all the time. After every performance we have I’m a mess... and the feeling of not being good enough for anything never leaves.” My heart ached for him. Not only because I knew what he meant as I related to him, but because he didn’t deserve to feel this way. Ace was very talented and a good person as well, even when he was acting like an ass sometimes, but now more than ever I understood why... it was all an act, to protect himself. “Don’t even get me started on the family shit...” He huffed.

“Now I understand why ‘What's eating Gilbert Grape’ is a movie you related to.” Ace huffed again, but this time with a half smirk. I rose up and sat on the couch. I moved closer to Ace, who’s hands were now rested on the back of the couch. His head still leaned back on, he just side-eyed me. I slowly lifted my hand and without words, just with an exchange of looks I asked for permission if I could touch him. Ace barely nodded as he blinked letting me know without words or big gestures that I can touch him. I slowly ran my fingers through his dark locks. His hair was thick and little wavy, so soft in touch.

“Yea, even thought we are the same age with Sabo, I have always been the big brother, and I had to be the man in the house on top of it. A lot of my life choices were based on how it would affect them, but I can’t complain really, can I?” He might have said it like a joke, but the hint of bitterness was as clear as a glass. “You know, I might be twenty-five but sometimes I feel like I’m forty-five, life is so tiring at time.” I only nodded, not sure what to say and not knowing if I should say something in a first place. Ace closed his eyes, and I continued to play with hair by running my fingers thought it.

“You know...” I took a deep breath before I continue. “I might not have siblings or had the exact same difficulties in life as you... but I can always listen and be there for you, as I understand what it feels like, under different circumstances than yours of course, but still... After all what are friends for?” I placed a small smile on my face and swallowed hard, the word ‘friend’ was starting to take a bitter taste on my tongue. Ace opened his eyes and looked at me.

“Sure, doll. I’ll keep this in mind.” A half smile appeared on his lips. After a moment of silence Ace spoke first.

“You look tired, wanna go to sleep?” I didn’t want the night to end, yet. But even high I could sense that this conversation affected him in some way, and I didn’t want to push any further. I just nodded in respond to his question. He got up from the couch and I followed him. Ace opened the door to the room that was behind the couch and switched on the lights. The walls in the room were entirely naked all the bricks visible. In the middle was a big wooden pallet bed. In front of it was a big bookcase covering the entire wall. He had all sorts of books, movies and CDs on it. On the right side of the bed, next to the wall he had two black clothing racks, all his clothes hanged there. The left side had a big window with two white long curtains hanged on both ends.

“Do you want to change in something more comfortable?” He leaned on the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest. I didn’t pay him much attention as I was admiring his film collection, reading all the titles he had.

“You have so many DVDs.” I exclaimed amazed, I knew Ace was a big movie fan already, but I didn’t know about his DVDs collection. I was even more surprised to see that a lot of them were also quite recent movies. “You know streaming platforms exist nowadays.” I teased him and tilted my head to look at him. Giggle escaped my lips, as I saw Ace faced flushed for a first time ever. I quickly stood in front of him and poked him on his stomach, as he was trying to avoid my gaze. “I didn’t know you are such a geek.” I poked him again and he tensed his muscles after every poke.

“I’m not, I just like to collect things that I like.” He grabbed my wrists before I land another poke on him. He tried to give me a warning look as I tried to fight him.

“Geek, geek.” I couldn’t stop giggling as I could see him getting more and more flushed.

“Okay that was it.” Ace said before he yanked my body and tossed me on his shoulder with an ease. I squeaked, everything around me spinning from the fast motion.

“Ace, put me down.” I closed my eyes, still trippy from the weed. “Ace, Ace please.” I whined and begged him. He was laughing at me as I was squeaking and kicking my feet in the air, my arms around his torso as I was afraid that he would drop me.

“Not so confident now doll, hu?” He tossed me up on his shoulder again and I screamed closing my eyes as I thought he was going to drop me. Ace laughed out loud as he gently laid me down on the bed. The soft mattress hit my back as Ace propped his arms on both sides of my body. His face buried at the crock of my neck. Ace couldn’t stop laughing, his body and muscles trembling and tensing. I could feel his hot breath on my neck and goosebumps ran all over my body. He slowly lifted his head and looked at me. Both of us were still high, I could see the redness in his eyes as we locked our gazes. His laughter calmed down and his eyes darken. I felt my mouth run dry as I tried to swallow the burning feeling inside of me. All that could be heard was the muffled music from the living room and our slowed breathing. The deja-vu from the Halloween party hitting my memories. This time I didn’t close my eyes as I did before. He was studying my face the same way I was his. My heartbeat quickens, and I slowly raised my hand placing it on his chest. His skin was so soft. Ace closed his eyes as he drew a sharp breath in. I could feel his heartbeat matching mine. We stayed like this for a moment. I slowly moved my hand up to the back of his neck, the urge to pull him closer to me taking over me, but I still hesitated. Ace wasn’t moving at all and closed his eyes, as his breathing got heavy. His whole body tensed as he tried to move away from me. He sat on his keens on the bed and his eyes shoot open in panic. I push myself up on my elbows with a confused look on my face.

“Doll, have I told you that I have narcol-“ Ace couldn’t finish his sentenced as his eyes rolled back and his whole body went numb. My body rose immediately and caught Ace by the arm, pulling him towards me with all the straight I have had in me. My heart was going to explode as I didn’t know what to do, and the fact that if I didn’t react so fast Ace was going to hurt himself so bad. His body was laying in my arms, as I gently placed him on the mattress.

“Ace.” I whispered trying no to panic, as I had no idea how to help him. The only thing that kept me as calm as it was possible to be in this situation, was the fact that he was breathing steady. I gently tucked a lock of hair away from his face and placed my hand on his cheek and caressed it. My thoughts were running wild, as I had no idea how long he was going to be passed out like this. I pulled my phone out from the pocket on my hoodie and started to type fast what to do in situations like this one. My eyes were moving between the screen and Ace all the time. A few minutes later Ace started to open his eyes. I froze on the bed not being able to move as I didn’t want to scare him or something. He covered his face with his hands and rubbed his temples.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Ace groaned loudly, as he looked at me with worry and embarrassment written all over his face. “Doll, I’m so sorry. Please, tell me are you okay? Did I fall on top of you? Are you hurt?” He sat on the bed but kept a distance between us.

“I-I’m okay, are y-you okay? What happened?” I blinked at him, the shock of what had happened still haven’t left my body.

“I’m sorry, if I scared you.” He shook his head as he cursed under his breath. “I’m narcoleptic, guess I forgot to mention it before.” He mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck, avoiding eye contact with me. I reached and placed my hand on his knee squeezing it.

“Ace, it’s okay. I just got panicked because I didn’t know what to do to help you. Does this happen... a lot?” My brows frowned slightly as I was concerned about him. Ace finally looked at me. He rubbed his chin and shook his head.

“Kinda, but I haven’t had a cataplexy attack in the past eight months.” He seemed lost in his own thoughts. Now that I know that he is narcoleptic, this explains why half of the time he looked so tired or emotionless. “And you don’t need to do anything, the attack passes by itself in a few minutes, and I’m still conscious in the meantime anyway.” He shrugged as he explained to me.

“Does your body hurt? I caught you in time, before you hurt yourself bad, but still I had to pull you quite hard...” I moved closer to Ace, and he snorted.

“I’m all good, doll. Don’t worry I have fallen quite a lot, so I’m used to take hits.” I pouted at him when he tried to turn this into a joke.   

“Ace, it’s not funny.” I murmured. “Do you take pills for it?” I softly asked him.

“Yeah, I do. Everyday, as I have type one narcolepsy.” He gave me one last look before he got up from the bed. “If you want to change into something more comfortable take something from my clothes.” He was about to walked out of the room when I stopped him.

“You can sleep in your bed, I can sleep on the couch it’s not a problem at all, or I can call myself uber an-“ He didn’t let me finish.

“Doll, go to sleep. I’m fine, just don’t pity me now, okay.” His face was serious, while his voice was more laid.  

“I’m not pitying you.” I quickly replied as I frowned my eyebrows again.

“Good.” He said as he grabbed the doorhandle to close the door after himself. “Night, doll.”

“Goodnight, Ace.” I quietly called after him as he closed the door. I sighed looking at the closed door. He was so stubborn sometimes, most of the time actually. I got from the bed to change to one of his t-shists. I found a simple white t-shirt that looked like it would sit on me like a dress, so I took my clothes off and put it instead. I turned off the lights and got into his bed. The room was not completely dark as the curtains were open and some streetlight was reflecting. I buried my head in the pillows, which smelled so much like him. Thoughts were running all over my mind and all of them were about Ace. I was tossing and turning around until sleep took over me.

**********

In the morning, I woke up around ten something. I rose and sat in the bed for a second, looking around. A yawn escaped my lips as I reached to grab my phone. My eyes widen with shock as I saw I had a message from one of the actors for my short-cut film asking where I was, as we had arranged a meeting today in the morning. I quickly called them and apologised, asking them if they could still meet me in thirty minutes. Thankfully they could so I quickly got up from the bed and dressed myself with my cloths, tossing the white shirt on the unmade bed.

“Ace?” I called out when I stepped outside the room. I looked around for him everywhere, but I couldn’t find him. Finally, I saw a note on the coffee table. I grabbed the note and read it.

“I have some early morning stuffs that I must do, I left you toothbrush in the bathroom. Eat something. There is a spear key by the door, lock it and drop it inside the mailbox. Ace” I read out loud. An unpleasant feeling set in my stomach. I didn’t expect at all to wake up and not to see him. I shook the feeling away and ran to the bathroom, quickly brushing my teeth. I found the spear key and locked the door behind me, dropping the key back in the mailbox. I quickly ran down the stairs and then to the metro station. While I was in the metro, I typed a short message to Ace that I dropped his key in the mailbox and thanked him for letting me stay over last night. It was so cold outside today; I was freezing with the leggings and the hoodie only. I got to the university as fast I could. Running down the hallway I ran into someone’s back accidently as I couldn’t pass by them on time.

“I’m so, so sorry.” I turned to tell them, only to be met with Dave’s green eyes.

“(Y/N), why are in such hurry?” He smiled at me, confusion written on his face.

“I forgot that I have a meeting with my actors for the short-cut and they have been waiting for me for an hour now.” I quickly explained.

“Ohh shit, then run, catch you later.” He sent me off as he flashed me another smile. I returned the smile and ran to the room where the actors were waiting for me. I apologised to them again, but they brushed me off by saying that they understood.

“Okay, let me get my laptop and we can go through the script.” I smiled at all four of them. “Fuck, no” I cursed as realisation hit me. I forgot my backpack at Ace’s place. I ran my fingers thought my hair pulling it as I tried to take some deep breaths and calm myself down. I have everything on my phone as well so it shouldn’t be a problem. They all locked at me confused as I turned around. I explained quickly what I have done, and they shared some looks between themselves. I couldn’t blame them; I was all over the place today.

“I have it on my phone so it shouldn’t be a problem.” I pulled my phone which had only thirty percent battery left. ‘Perfect, just perfect’ I thought to myself, before I started the meeting with the guys.

After an hour and a half, we were done, as we even had some time to rehears and improvise the scenes. I thanked them and told them that I will send more information regarding their rolls tonight. They bit me goodbye and left. With the remaining five percent that I had left, I texted Ace a quick message that I have forgotten my bag at his place, and I really need it as I have everything in it, even the keys to my apartment, and I would be grateful if he could bring it to me. While waiting for a response from Ace, I texted Dave to see if he was still around school. He quickly replied to meet him in the chill aera. I made my way there and he was sitting with some classmates of his. He greeted me with a big smile as always and made me some space to sit next to him.

“How was the meeting?” He asked as he saw my tired face.

“Uh, don’t ask, I made a fool of myself in front of them. They probably think that I have no idea what I’m doing, and they won’t be wrong. I’m all over the place today, I even forgot my bag so I had to work from my phone, which has no battery left.” I complained and I buried my head in the palms of my hands. Dave laughed at me and softly ran circles on my back.

“Nah, you are beating yourself up again.” He spoke. “Also, what Marco thinks of the video? Did he like it?” I almost broke my neck when I raised my head fast, as I totally forgot to sent Marco the video. Dave saw my reaction and frowned. “Please, don’t tell me you forgot to send it to him.” I slowly nodded my head at his question, biting on my lips hard. “Call him and apologies immediately, as this will come out very unprofessional.” Dave handed me his charger so I could plug my phone to charge. The moment it started to charge I called Marco immediately. I explained to him the situation and he told me not to worry much just to make sure to sent it to him by four o’clock today. I thanked him and we ended the conversation.

“Well, that went well.” I exhaled as I sat back down next to Dave. I checked my phone, but I still had no response from Ace. “He gave me time until four o’clock.” I told Dave. He patted me on the shoulder.

“Why don’t you go home and send it now?” He suggested.

“Because I wasn’t at home last night and even my keys are in my backpack.” I mumbled. ‘Why wasn’t Ace responding?’ was all I could think about. “Sorry, what?” I asked Dave to repeat as he was asking me something, but I didn’t pay him attention.

“I was asking whe-“ He got interrupted by my phone ringing. It was an unknown number and I hesitated before I picked up.

“Hello?” I spoke.

“Hey, (Y/N). It’s me Luffy.” Luffy’s cheerful voice filled up my ears.

“Oh, hey Luffy. What’s up?” I was so confused. How did he get my number and why was he calling me.

“Ace gave me your number to contact you, as he said you forgot you bag at his place last night and I must bring it to you as soon as possible. So where are you?” My whole mood changed in the span of a second. Why was Ace making Luffy do this? And the thing that offended me was, couldn’t he texted me and tell me that Luffy will do it? I would have understood him that he was busy or whatever he was doing right now, but this... this hurt me a bit.

“(Y/N) are you still on the phone?” Luffy’s voice brought me back to Earth.

“Yes, yes, sorry. Um, I’m in university but I can meet you somewhere close to your place, as we live close by, and I need to go home anyway.” I suggested.

“Okay, perfect. How does it sound in one hour, as I need some time to get to Ace’s place.”

“Yeah, sure. See you in an hour Luffy.”

“See you.” He said before hanging up.

The pang in my chest was very unpleasant. Why did he do that? I checked my messages, and he haven’t even marked them as read. Did I do something? I started to recall last night in my memories to think of something that might have triggered this behaviour in him, but I couldn’t think of anything. I felt a hand on my knee, I looked up and I met Dave’s eyes.

“Are you okay?” His voice sounded concerned.

“Yeah, just tired.” I gave him a half smile. “Hey, by the way by any chance do you know anyone who might be up to let me use their apartment for my short-cut, as mine is way too small?” I asked him, as this was another thing that I had to stress about.

“I must check with my friends, but I will let you know.”

“Thank you, I will also need some extras so if you know anyone who wants to be in front of camera give them my number.” I chuckled.

“I need your number first, before I can give it to other people, you know?” He winked at me.

“What? You don’t have it?” I exclaimed surprised. Dave clicked with his tongue and shook his head. I gestured him to give me his phone so I could put my number in it. “There you go.” I nodded at him as I handed him the phone back. I looked at the time and decided that I must leave to where me and Luffy agreed on meeting. “Thank you for the charger.” I gave it back to Dave.

“Any plans for tonight?” He asked me before I leave.

“No, but I’m planning to stay at home as I really need one night by myself.” I exhaled loudly as I was really tired.

“I understand. Well, if you change your mind let me know.” He got up and hugged me goodbye.

**********

I waited for Luffy close by the supermarket that I knew it was close to his place. The weather got even colder and at this point I was freezing. I was bouncing on one leg to the other trying to keep myself somehow warm as I couldn’t feel my toes.

“(Y/N).” I heard Luffy’s voice calling and I turned around. He had a big grin across his face. I waved and started to walk toward him to meet halfway. Luffy gave me a big warm hug. “You are freezing.” He pointed out as he handed me my bag.

“Thank you Luffy, you are a life safer.” I sniffed.

“Come on, I will walk with you.” He said and we headed towards my place. “So how have you been lately?”

“Well, been better, very stressed lately. But once next week is over, I will be able to finally relax.” I smiled at him as shivers run down my body.

“Do you want my hoodie as well, I have a t-shirt underneath.” That was so nice of him, but I shook my head. “Are you sure?” He asked, his eyes full of concern.

“I’m sure.” I nodded. “But how are you? Haven’t seen you since Halloween.”

“Prety good, preparing for competition.” He responded.

“What competition?”

“Oh, you might not know but I run marathons. I have already won five, but this one is nothing big, only for people from my university.” He explained.

“Wait, you go to university?” I had no idea that Luffy studied, Nami and Usopp have never mentioned anything, and so did Luffy.

“Yeah, I’m studying animation.” His smile grew even bigger.

“What? Are you for real?” My eyes widen in surprise. I would have never guessed that Luffy was studying something as hard as animation, I didn’t even know that he can draw.

“Shihihih, yes, I am.” Luffy laughed at my reaction. “Don’t worry everyone react like this, I’m not the smartest out there, but I’m not stupid.” He raised his chin. “I might be a little dumb sometimes tho.” He nudged my arm. We laughed together. “But why are you so stressed?”

“Well, your brothers video first, it was a big challenged. And second the short-cut projects, maybe you have heard about it from Nami or Usopp. I need to find a nice apartment as soon as possible where I can shoot my film.” Tension took over my body once again.

“I can ask Sanji. He lives in a very nice and big apartment, I’m sure he wouldn’t say not.��� Luffy pulled out his phone and quickly typed something in it. “Done.” He grinned at me. “I will let you know when he response.”

“Oh my God, Luffy you shouldn’t have to. Thank you so much.” I gave him a hug. He laughed again.

“Nothing to thank me for, Sanji still haven’t replied.”

“But still just the fact that you asked him, is so nice of you.” I smiled at him again. Luffy rubbed his chin and turned his head to look at me.

“By the way, is something going on between you and my brother?” Another thing about Luffy was that he was very straight forward.

“No, nothing. We are just friends, that’s all.” The bitter feeling came back, as I answered Luffy’s question. “Why?”

“It was just super strange, like... Ace never lets girls sleep over his place, so when he called me today in the morning to tell me to bring you your stuff, I got quite surprised.” He didn’t seem to give it a second thought, for which I was glad. But also, what he said caught my attention. Why wouldn’t Ace let girls stay over his place? That was strange.

“No, Luffy. Nothing is going on between your brother and I.” I repeated to assure myself more than him. “He just wanted to see the video first and then we just chitchat and it got late, and he offered me to stay over as I was super tired.” Part of what I said was true. “But could you please not tell anyone, as I don’t want people to get the wrong idea, you know...” I looked down at my fingers and nervously played with them.

“Didn’t plan to tell anyone anyway.” He winked at me. We reached my place, and we turned to face each other. “I will let you know when Sanji response.” He hugged me.

“Thank you, Luffy. You are the best.” I said returning the hug. We said goodbye and I ran to my apartment as I was freezing. The first thing I did when I got inside was to turn my laptop on and sent all the files to Marco. I made myself a cup of tea to warm myself. When all the files for the video were sent to Marco I relaxed a bit. I looked the at clock and it was barely 3PM. Instead of wasting time I pulled my sleeves up and started to work on my final touches for the short-cut. I was so focused on work I didn’t realise that almost two hours had passed since I last checked my phone. I had a couple missed calls from Marco, a message from Luffy and one from Usopp. I returned the call to Marco immediately before checking the messages from Luffy and Usopp. The phone rang a few times before he picked up.

“Hey, Marco. Sorry for not retur-“ Marco interrupted me mid sentence.

“(Y/N), great job with the video. I love it and so did the guys. We will release it on Tuesday. You definitely have the talent for it, kid. Keep the good work going.” He ended the phone call so fast I couldn’t process what he just told me. I just nodded to myself before checking the messages from Luffy and Usopp.

‘Sanji said that you can use his apartment, here is his number to contact him for more info.’ I got so happy when I read Luffy’s message. I immediately texted Sanji to thank him and to ask if I could meet with him and see the apartment so I could do my floor plan. Then I moved to Usopp’s message in which he congratulated me on the video.

‘Thank you, for helping me <3’ I texted Usopp back.

I couldn’t stop myself from checking if Ace at least marked the messages as read. He didn’t. Part of me wanted to text him and ask if he was mad at me for something, but I didn’t. He was in one of his moods again. I would just need to wait until he was in the mood to talk with me again, but I’m not sure how much I would want to speak with him then. I tried to shake him off my mind, as I got back to work.

********

The gym was almost empty due the fact that it was Friday night, so most people were skipping today, so they could get ready for a night out. Law glanced at Ace, who was too focused on his bench press set. Ace was clearly disturbed today, as he hasn’t been this moody in a while.

The music was blasting in Ace’s ear as he was focused on his set, not paying attention to anything else. Last night was on repeat in his mind as he couldn’t get (Y/N) off from his mind. The things they shared, how much he had opened to her, something he had never done before with another girl. On top of it he let her sleep not only in his house but in his bed. He broke his main rule, no girls over his house. Especially his bed, as in his mind that meant letting someone in your very personal space. And Ace hated to have people not close to his heart invading it. In the morning when he woke up, he had to go to his room as he had to get dressed for the day, but he had forgotten to take some clothes the night before. He entered the room as quietly as possible and quickly grabbed the first pair of jeans and a hoodie he could see. Ace couldn’t contain himself and took a glance at (Y/N)’s sleeping form. She was sleeping peacefully all wrapped up in the bedsheets, hugging one of his pillows. Ace smiled at the sight of her. ‘Yeah, you look like the type that likes to cuddles’ he thought to himself. He cursed under his breath for even thinking that and quickly left the room. No woman before has been let this close to him. He was letting (Y/N) too much into his life. Not only this, but he has never had a cataplexy attack in front of a girl. Yes, he has had his daily narcolepsy episodes in front of girls, but never to a point where his muscles weakness. Part of him was embarrassed, but he was more concerned about the fact that she had this effect on him. On the other hand, it was good that it happened as Ace knew he was about to lose it last night. The way she wrapped her arms around him wanting him closer, knowing that she wanted to kiss him as much as he wanted to kiss her. God he was going to take her right there on the spot. And the moan that had left her lips when they were eating, he could listen to this for hours. He could only imagine how sweet it would sound to listen her moaning and whining under him while he has his ways with her. Whoever had his way with her must be a fool to messed it up so badly. But it didn’t mater, as Ace was not going to step over that line with her. She wasn’t a girl for a one-night stand, and he couldn’t give her what she deserved so he had to keep his distance from now on. Ace wasn’t a relationship guy, neither he planned to be anytime soon. So, for a bit he must distance himself form (Y/N) for her own good.

Law dropped the dumbbells he was using and went to where Ace was working out. He was in the middle of his set when he saw Law standing next to his bench to spot him. Ace grunted and breathed out loudly, once he finished with the set and put the barbel back. He rose from the bench sitting up, pulling his headphones on the side.

“I don’t need you to spot me.” He spat at Law.

“I can see that.” Law crossed his arms over his chest as he glanced at the added weight to the barbel. “But you kinda going to die on the spot if you fall asleep pushing 160kg, you know.” He pointed out.

“I wish I can go away that easy.”  Ace murmured before grabbing his water bottle and taking a sip.

“What’s up with you Ace?” Law face got serious and so did his tone. Ace gave him an annoyed look.

“Nothing.” He replied putting his headphones back before he laid on the bench press for another set. Ace rolled his eyes as he saw Law not moving away, but instead standing to spot him. He finished with his set and got up to add some more weight to the barbel. Law was just looking at him, wondering what got him so heated up. Adding how stubborn Ace was, Law knew that it would take him some time to make Ace tell him about what was bothering him.

“Pushing for a new personal record?” Law looked down at Ace as he loaded the weight. He didn’t get any response from Ace as the music was blasting in his ears.

When they were done with their workout before leaving the gym Law asked Ace if he was up for a drink later, even thought he was sure Ace would tell him to fuck off. Surprisingly for Law, Ace agreed. They bit each other goodbye and left the gym. After ten minutes ride Ace parked his motorbike in front of his building. He let a deep sigh once he entered his apartment and closed the door. He threw his gym bag on the floor and went straight to the bathroom. The first thing that caught his attention was the pink toothbrush he left for (Y/N) on the sink corner. He huffed and grabbed the toothbrush ready to throw it away but stopped himself for a second. ‘What if she needs it again?’ the thought crossed his mind before he had the time to assimilated it. Realising what just went thought him mind, he threw the toothbrush immediately.

“The fuck is wrong with me?” He cursed himself as he shook his head in disbelief of his own thoughts. He stripped himself from the sweaty clothes he was wearing and got in the shower. Ace adjusted the water to the coldest and let it run all over his body. His whole body tensed from the ice-cold water. He bit on his lip hard suppressing the groan that wanted to escape his lips. Looking down at his body Ace cursed under his breath again.

“What am I now? Fourteen?” He hissed as he wrapped his hand around his hard erection. “Come on, go away.” Ace whined as even the cold water wasn’t helping. He ran his hand through his wet hair. Ace closed his eyes as he squeezed his hand around his throbbing cock, letting a low grunt. He took a few deep breathes before moving his hand up and down. The thoughts of (Y/N) occupying his mind once again. This time he let the thoughts of her run through his mind. He couldn’t help but imagine her – down on her knees, looking at him from under her lashes. The way her (eyes colour) eyes would beg him to fuck her mouth. She might not be a virgin, but he would definitely need to teach her how to please him. Ace took a sharp breath just thinking of this. ‘Yes, yes I will teach you everything you need to know, doll’ a smirk appeared on his face when he thought of it. She was smart, so she would learn fast. He would make sure to teach her exactly how to wrap her pretty lips around him.

“Fuck.” Ace grunt as he threw his head back just thinking of her lips. The way they would feel kissing and wrapping around his dick. Ace propped his hand on the wall while fasting the pace around his painfully hard length. To have her, right here, right now would feel like heaven. Ace would be gentle with her, at least at first. He would let her take her time, as she would lick like a kitten the pre-cum leaking from his pink tip. Then the way she would wrap her pretty lips around it and give a twist with her tongue. She would cover it all with kisses while giving him slow stokes, preparing herself to take it. To then watch her struggle taking all of him in her pretty mouth, having to wrap her hand around what she couldn’t take. Ace would lose it then, as he wouldn’t be able to control himself anymore and just start to fuck her sweet mouth. The way he would wrap his hand around her hair, pulling and guiding her how to please him. A loud moan escaped his lips as he felt that he was getting close. The image of her, on her knees, his cock in her mouth, having her choking on it while hearing her begging whines and tears running down her eyes while he deepthroat fucks her. The more he was thinking of it the closer he was getting. If she was here, the way Ace imagined her, he would make sure to paint her face with his cum. Her pretty face, all covered with his hot cum, dripping down on her and her pretty lips. This though alone made his whole body twitched and his hips jerked as he gave himself one last stroke and cum spilled all over his hand and wall. Ace cursed loudly as he threw his head back from the feeling of release. His chest rose and fell with rapid breaths as he tried to collect himself.

It took him sometime to calm himself down as he felt the cold water on his back. He quickly switched the water to a normal temperature as washed his body. Ace cursed himself again. Maybe the reason he was so attracted to (Y/N) was because he restrained himself. If he had already fucked her maybe she wouldn’t have crossed his mind ever again. He just needed to get laid that was it, and he was planning to do it tonight.

Ace got out of the shower and grabbed his towel wrapping it around his hips. When he entered the bedroom, his eyes landed on the unmade bed and his white t-shirt that he saw (Y/N) wore while sleeping. He grabbed the t-shirt, and the smell of her perfume hit him. Ace went and threw it in the laundry basket frustrated. Last thing he needed right now was a piece of clothing that smelled like her. He took his phone and looked at the time. It was already nine o’clock. Ace quickly towel dried his hair and tried to style it but gave up leaving it falling messy around his face. He put a black sweatshirt on with a dark grey pants and a belt around his waist. Grabbing his jacket and keys Ace left his place.

It took him twenty minutes to reach the place where he and Law usually hang out. The bar was very known around Grand Line. Ace entered the place and looked around for Law. He was sitting by the bar and when he saw Ace he waved at him. Ace nodded and walked to Law, taking the seat next to him. Law was wearing a white loose fit unbuttoned shirt with some dark blue pants.

“What are you drinking?” Ace asked him.

“Old fashion.” Law replied while taking a sip of his drink. Ace nodded and turned to order to the bartender who gave him a charming smile. Ace smiled at her and made his order. While making it she didn’t take her eyes off him.

“One ‘Old Fashion’” She said sultry while placing the drink in front of Ace. He just winked at her and gave her an extra tip when he paid. “Thank you, let me know if you would like something else.” She returned the winked and went away. Ace chuckled and took a sip of his drink.

“So, are you in better mood now?” Law wasted no time getting straight to the point.

“What made you think I wasn’t in a good mood earlier?” Ace turned to the side to look at Law.

“Come on, Ace. What’s with you recently? Especially today.” Law crossed his arms waiting for Ace’s respond.

“Nothing, I told you.” Ace took another sip of his drink.

“Ace I’m not buying this shit.” Law knew that something was bothering his friend, and he wasn’t planning to drop it that easy. “Is everything okay at home?” he couldn’t think of anything else that might get Ace this worked up.

“As far as I know, yeah.” Ace bluntly answered. Law rubbed his beard frowning his brows at him. “Law drop it, man. I’m... I’m fine.” Ace started to tap his fingers on his glass avoiding looking at Law. They stayed like this for a moment before Ace broke the silence. “Did you fix things with Robin?”

“Kinda.” Law murmured. Ace raised his eyebrow at him. “She wants something serious, and I’m not sure that I can give her that.” Ace snorted when he heard Law’s response. He raised the glass to his lips to take a sip of it but couldn’t contain his laughter so Ace burst out laughing. Law pushed his shoulder, making Ace look at him.

“Sorry, bro. Just...” Ace started to laugh again.

“Man, what’s so funny?” Law was so confused by Ace’s reaction.

“You two have been on and off for two years, at this point make up your minds.” Ace chuckled. “Damn, and I thought I have it bad..” He murmured under his nose.

“Wait, what?” Law raised his brows confusion. “Is this whole attitude thing because of a girl?” Ace clenched his jaw and side-eyed Law. Now it was Law’s turn to burst out laughing.

“Oh, shut up.” Ace rolled his eyes at him. Law continued to chuckle when he looked at Ace and tried to calm himself. He cleared his throat before speaking.

“It’s not the blonde girl, what was her name Savanna?”

“Samantha and no. She was just a quick fuck, even tho she hasn’t stop blowing my phone.” Ace rubbed his temples.

“Oh, oh, I have a guess.” Law smirk as Ace glanced at him. “It’s the little director, isn’t it?” The way Ace clenched his fingers around the glass told Law everything he needed to know. “Hell, I’m right, it is about (Y/N).” Just the mentioned of her name made his whole body tense. “So, care to share?” Law chuckled.

“Nothing is happening between us, so there is nothing to share. We are... just... I don’t know, not really friends let’s say acquaints.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, sure. Don’t think I’m blind.” Law snorted. “The tension you two had on set could be felt from miles away. And the looks you were giving to the guy behind the camera...” He mocked Ace, who was clearly getting worked up all over again. “So, care to explain exactly what is going on between her and you?” Law was patiently waiting for Ace to start talking. Ace cursed under his breath before looking at his friend.

“She slept over last night.” Ace murmured. Law’s eyes widen as he heard this. That was definitely something new. “We didn’t do anything, tho. We could of but I got cataplexy attack. Which has never ever happened before with a girl.” His cheeks started to flush. “And another thing is that she listens, man. Not only listens, but she also understands me. I have opened to her about some personal stuffs can you believe it?” Ace spat; Law was carefully listening to him. “But that is not like my main problem right now...” He started to massage his temples, deep breath escaping his lips. “I know that I don’t like her, like... you know something serious as I don’t want anything serious, but at the same time I’m weirdly attracted to her, and I think it is because I restrain myself.”

“What do you mean by ‘restrain’ yourself?” Law raised his eyebrow confused.

“I can’t sleep with her.” Ace fussed. “She is so close to Luffy’s friends, and they are the same age, come on. I see all people at Luffy’s age as kids.” He took a big sip of his drink almost finishing it. “On top of it she is Shanks’ niece.” Ace added, giving Law a knowing look.

“Ace it’s just four years. Plus, she seems, well, she is quite smart girl, so I think you are the one who makes it too complicated, not her.” Law couldn’t really see the problem. When they were filming the video together it was clearly that there was some chemistry between them. “Plus, you can always be like fuckbuddies, no feelings attached just sex. Just sleep with her once, and if you continue to feel that way then get all this moody and shit.”

“She will get attached.” Ace whined. “She told me that she had slept with a guy only once, and it was bad on top of it, so basically, she is a fucking virgin.” Law nodded understanding at Ace’s statement. “And she is a very nice girl. You know, I will feel bad to just use her for one night.” He might be an asshole, but he wasn’t that big of an ass, to play with someone like (Y/N)’s feelings.

“So, what do you plan to do then?” Law was carefully studying his friend’s face.

“Distant myself for now. But this time for real, as I tried before but... never mind. I just need to get laid that’s all.” Ace explained, his eyes not leaving now the empty glass. Law decided to not say anything further. The solution was easy but Ace was stubborn, so it was pointless to give him any advice.

A few drinks later, both Ace and Law were having a good laugh; talking about the band upcoming projects, and things that both were interested in. Time flew fast and it was around midnight when something caught Ace’s attention mid-conversation. He squeezed his eyes trying to see better. His eyes landed on a girl, and she looked super familiar from the back. Was that (Y/N)? The hair was the same colour and length. She also seemed to be the same height. He hesitated for a moment before he turned to Law and told him that he would be back in a second. Ace slowly made his way to the girl. If it was (Y/N) what was he going to tell her? Why was he even going to check if it was her, when he literally told himself to keep his distance with her. It was the alcohol. Yes, he can blame it on the alcohol. And if it was her, he could just say ‘hello’ and that’s it, out of politeness. He felt his heart beating faster as he was close to approach the girl. When he stood behind her, he gently tapped her on the shoulder. She quickly turned around, and it wasn’t her. The girl flashed him a cute smile.

“Yes, can I help you?” She fluttered her lashes at Ace.

“Oh, sorry. I mistook you for someone else.” Ace smiled at her and was about to turn around and leave when she put her hand on his shoulder to stop him.

“Hey, not so fast.” She flashed him a smile. “I’m Diane.”

“Ace.” He replied. Ace took a better look at her. She low-key looked like (Y/N), not as pretty, but still nice. “How is your night going Diane?” A smug smile formed on his face.

“Pretty good. Always can get better.” She bit her lip, her tone sultry. “Who were you looking for?”

“Doesn’t matter. Came across something better.” Ace saw the way her cheeks blushed. These cliché lines were always working. Not always, he knew someone who was going to roll her eyes and tell him to come up with something better. But Ace shook away the thought of (Y/N). He had her low-key doppelganger here, so it would work for the night.

“Are you alone here?” She wrapped a curl around her finger and played with it.

“I have my friend over there.” He pointed at Law. “Would you ladies mind us joining you?” Ace nodded his head and looked at the two other girls sitting with Diane, flashing them a charming smile. They all giggled and told him that they wouldn’t mind. Ace turned to look at Law who was looking at his direction. He nodded his head at Law to come and join them. Law got up and made his way to them. He introduced himself to the girls and started to chitchat with them. They were giggling and blushing at him. Law wasn’t planning on doing anything with anyone tonight as he had promised Robin to go to her place after, but still little flirting with some girls wouldn’t hurt anyone. It didn’t go unnoticed by him that the girl Ace was focused on was quite similar in looks to (Y/N). Law has been there before and done that. Trying to fill the void he was feeling with girls looking like Robin, but at the end of the day none of them were her. Law didn’t want to say anything to Ace, as he knew how his friend stands on relationships, but the whole ‘I will keep my distance’ or ‘we will just be friends’ bullshit wasn’t going to work. At the end Ace was either going to end up in the same situation as Law, or maybe worse.

Another hour passed and Law received a message from Robin, asking him where he was. That was his reminder that the night for him was over. He excused himself to the girls and went to Ace to tell him goodbye.

“You are leaving?” Ace asked surprised. His eyes were half lidded since he got way too many drinks tonight.

“Yeah, man. Robin is waiting for me.” Law patted him on the shoulder. “Take care tonight, okay?” Ace rolled his eyes at Law and waved him goodbye. Law took one last glanced at his friend before leaving.

“Wanna go to your place?” Ace smirked at Diane who was sitting in his lap. He ran his fingers up and down her shoulder and neck. She cupped his face and eagerly smacked her lips on his. Ace returned the kiss, taking her lower lip between his teeth biting it. The kiss quickly grew hot as Ace’s hands started to roam all over her body. “Should I take this as an ‘yes’?” He whispered in her ear. Goosebumps ran all over her body and she just nodded her head. She called an uber and they quickly left.

Her hair might have not been as soft to touch as (Y/N)’s, neither her skin smelled as sweet as hers, and the way her eyes were looking at his didn’t spark any flame in him. But she was just for the tonight. And she had similar look to her. He didn’t even need to look at her face. The moment they laid on her bed, Ace turned her on her stomach, bending her over. And something dark took over him. He did care for the pleasure of the girls he was sleeping with. Always taking his time with them, making them feeling good first. But tonight, he was selfish. This girl wasn’t (Y/N). She was a cheap replica, nothing close to what he would feel or do to her if his doll was here. Even her moans didn’t sound anything close to hers. But again, this wasn’t the biggest problem. The biggest problem was the fact that (Y/N) wasn’t leaving his mind. And this was something that has never ever happened before. Somehow, she had found her way to get under his skin and he needed to burn her from there as soon as possible.

next chapter ->

END NOTE: I really hope you guys enjoyed it. I know that the 'smut' part wasn't anything wow, but I'm just testing the waters with it. At first it was totally different and it wasn't planned to be for Ace, but now I'm happy that I decided to write it for him, as in a way it suits his character more. Please let me know what your thoughts about it and what could I change in the future for when I'm writing a smut (u can either comment or message me). Also I felt so awkward writing it, but is it a fanfic if there is no smut in it? Feel free to comment and reblog, much love <333

[intimidating-fettuccine]

could i request cockwarming with offender? unless its already been done and i just couldn't find it

I feel like this is a lot more tame than one might expect, but it's just my honest opinion on how Fen views it, so I hope you enjoy :) I always love writing for my big romantic guy~

To Offender, cock warming is more of an act of intimacy than what a typical sexual activity might be. If the two of you just wanted to have sex you could do that, but just resting together like that feels so intimate and relaxing to him, so his mind sort of categorizes it differently. I think Offender enjoys it a lot with you when you've been together a while, but I also think he does it more frequently when the two of you are in your earlier stages of doing intimate things together. As an eldritch being, he's got a pretty hefty size, and so it's a way for the two of you to test the waters and get used to having him inside of you without you having to have full sex.

I think he wouldn't even fully start out with you having to take him fully inside. The two of you can lay down together, and he'll just slip himself between your legs and rest there with you applying pressure with your thighs, that way you can work up gradually. After a while of you guys doing that, he'll make sure he has in general stretched you out a bit with his fingers (and probably some toys as well because it's gonna be a tight fit), and he'll slip partially inside of you. He doesn't want to go all the way in on the first try as again, eldritch-sized dick, and he doesn't want to stress your body out. You'll have multiple times together where he gradually gets you more and more used to the size of his cock, until he can fit himself inside of you, and the two of you can go from there. Once you're used to cock warming him in any capacity though, like I said, he loves just doing it as a general act of intimacy rather than only something leading to or following sex.

He views it as a very intimate way to be close to you and cuddle up to you. Watching a movie or a show together and want to be a bit closer? Let him slide between your legs or inside you for a more intimate viewing experience. Taking a bath together and wanna make it a bit more romantic? Sit in his lap and let him slip between or inside of you while you relax amongst the warm water and bubbles. Or, when you're laying in bed together at the end of the night, talking about how your days went and your plans for the rest of the week, just let him do the same thing, and it feels so calming and intimate to be able to do domestic things like that with you while you're cock warming him, and it's one of his all-time favorite activities. Cock warming could lead to sex if the two of you are getting a bit too worked up and desperate, but it doesn't necessarily have to. There are plenty of nights where you might even just end up falling asleep together like that, or where you just spoon like that for a while before just moving on and going about the rest of your night in a normal fashion. While Fen is always down to do something sexual, he does enjoy just having normal intimate moments like that where it's not expected that you have to have sex with him. He just wants you to feel intimate and happy with him as a partner, and he always lets you make the decision of if it's just a little bit of intimate snuggling, or if you'd like it to escalate any further. Regardless, he's just happy and content to be able to be so close to you and feel your warmth around him, no matter how the night ends up finishing.

[gazeofseer]

'The state you drive from is the pace you delve into, destiny is a dead end of what you have been stretching from the beginning throughout the process of being'

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What drives you as a life and why?

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Image.1

What drives you is your - 🫀Heart

Confirmation : Restlessness, Impatient, Short Tempered, Emotional, Giver, Extremist, Libra, Enraging Feminine, Wounded Masculine.

Lovesick, huh? Your kindness is like a token of love you serve to the world, but a bit of ruin could turn ruins to it and may hurt you badly and this makes you feel more in pain as you are holding onto the hurt for longer then needed, as if if I ask you you would say 'Pain is my home, suffering is all I have known' is who you would drunken sound even when you are not, it happens as I mentioned being an extremist balancing seems a hell of task and diplomacy but why to see it in a bad light? Convenience is great as long as it does not bring any harm to anyone, and the rest of hurt, we all do.. don't we? What do you think everything I say must have smoothed you? No, hurt is Healthy holding onto it is a choice and you drive through pain believing to be more deep, profound and wounded by heart but it is not that serious yet. So strike and preserve that innocent and ethereal kindness you keep on serving even the ones who are full.

Vibe : I felt you are in college, some teenage dream, pink, floral and quite young by heart take care my love, the world is cruel and soft for sure but who said soft things can't hurt?

Image.2

What drives you is your - 🧠 Mind

Confirmation : Worrying, Resilience, Trauma, Elder, Middle, Abandonment, Ignorance, Avoidance, Numbness, Panic Attacks.

Overthinking is a realisation when you have added a thought on what is already there and now you are constantly having a 360 sight to makeout one simple assurance that it is not what it seems as, but what if it is ?

Has been already scaring you isn't so? Yes fears do fuel overthinking but driving your mind nuts behind everything, and seeing your thoughts manifesting can be dangerous because when the outcomes arrives it is not the best experience you would like to have.

Have you ever manifested pain? Where you kept thinking you would fail, fail, or resisting you don't know, don't know, but you did failed and you did know about things.

Feeling guilty and outside the crowd can make you feel being called out but why are you hiding behind your head and hoping life to spot on you and the way it does drives you crazy like hell.

Calm down, I see this as a parental exchange like someone in your family overthinks a lot too probably your mother or granny, still easy, sometimes you may hallucinate heating stuffs, and feelings dizzy seriously relax, snap at yourself out of the head and move with anything real time.

Getting up from the long hours of sitting for a walk and moving, stretching, even eye rolling, can be helpful.

Vibe : You have shoulder or back ache like twice a week? Responsibility, working, if not still, chores, daily stress. Queen vibes but who is always stressed and worried, dark circles and eye pain.

Image.3

What drives you is - 👁️ Body

Confirmation : Identity issues, body shaming, social setting, pride, prejudice, arrogance, ego, chauvinism, ego issues, mocking and mild bullying, Mommy issues.

Okay, bigtime you have been mocked and made fun especially in social or group Settings and I see there is a contrast of conflict everytime someone has to say something or the other about the way look.

And this has bothered ever since from you have growing up and kind of ate half your space to believe that when you look good you are perceived good, but are the ones doing good for you real?

Sometimes you want to bag yourself in a loose tshirt, messy bun, pimple and laugh as if you are screaming only to annoy those who taunt you why I felt like you have done that?

Anyways it is good but do not make it the only thing, you may have starved because of this good looks, and put yourself in pills or some pain especially around your abdomen or stomach kindly do not do anything, your body is the best buddy doctor listen to it it does speak after each piece of meal you have,

Take care drinks after nourishing it, looking good from outside is a cover up or highlight you cannot keep up always to it it's people pleasing, but when you feel good even the devil's and the deities in the details get happy to be around you.

Vibe : Main character, charming, silly, naive, smart, cunning, red lipstick, sighs, sarcasm and intelligent.

Huh, after so long I pulled up lighter reading which felt good !! Let me know about you guys !!

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PAID READINGS 🔮

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[damiansgoodgirll]

i really had a bad day at work last night, could you please write jude comforting reader after she came back from work?❤️

i’m so sorry to hear that love, i hope you’re feeling better 🫶🏻

jude bellingham x reader

in your arms

the moment you opened the front door of your home and you got greeted by the sweet perfume of your favourite perfumed candle burning, you felt a sense of ease and relax washing over you.

it’s been a hard day, if not, a hard week and you couldn’t wait to spend the weekend in bed, surrounded by the comfort of your boyfriend.

jude was currently making dinner when he heard you falling over the couch.

he knew how tired you had been recently and it pained him, knowing that he couldn’t do anything to ease the stress from work. he tried massaging your shoulders, making you your favourite meals, buying you some flowers but nothing was working.

“hey love…” he whispered sitting next to you on the couch. you simply hummed, acknowledging his presence “are you okay?” that simple question made you break “love why are you crying?” he gently turned your face so you were facing him.

“i’m just so tired…”

“oh baby…come here…” he helped you sit between his legs as his big arms went around you in a comforting way.

“i love my job, i really do, but sometimes is exhausting, especially during summertime…i feel like i’m going to explode any minute…i need a break” you confessed and he listened to you.

“you’re human baby…it’s okay to feel like this” he gently kissed your cheek.

“i know but i hate feeling like this…hell, i even hate waking up in the morning these days knowing all the things i have to go through at work…” you cried into his shoulder.

“i’m so sorry baby, i wish i could do something to help you…i can talk to your boss if you want to? maybe he would give you a few days to rest, you’ve been over stressing about work for so long…you need a break baby” he suggested but you knew his idea wouldn’t work.

“i don’t think it’s gonna work…thank you tho” you sadly smiled at him.

jude hated seeing you like that.

“let me at least take care of you baby…i’m making dinner, we can eat here on the couch while we’re watching a show and then we’ll take a comforting bath together…so i can take care of you and help you relax, what do you think?” he proposed and even though all you wanted to do was sleeping, you and jude haven’t spent quality together for over two weeks and you missed him.

“i think it’s perfect…thank you jude” you smiled at him and his thumbs went to wipe your tears away.

“anything for you baby”

“jude?” you called him.

“mh?”

“can we stay like this for 5 minutes?” you asked him as you put your arms over his shoulders.

“of course love” he smiled as his arms formed like a protective barrier around your body. your head on his chest as you were listening to his steady heartbeat, and it was helping you calm down.

it was the simply thing, having jude’s arms around you, his perfume almost intoxicating you from how sweet and delicate it was and his love and protectiveness for you that made you feel better.

[ladylooch]

What if you’re recently going out with Nico and you can’t go to the game but you have plans to go out to eat after? But after the defeat he is feeling sad and tired and cancels, and you feel bad for him so decide to get him takeout from his favorite place ♥️. Once you get to his house he is just sad looking at replays of the game so you cheer him up! (You can do whatever it can be fluffy and cute or hot l) love your writing!! 🥰🥰

A/N: Okay Nico girlies, it’s time to heal. 🙏🏻

You’re five minutes into the third period of the Devils game when it dawns on you that you have not heard Nico’s name in quite sometime. Your eyebrows lower as you pause from wolfing down popcorn and M&Ms - your guilty pleasure snack. Tonight, you are trying to hold off your hunger long enough to meet Nico for a late-night snack. Eating at 11:00pm isn’t your normal dinner procedure, but for Nico Hischier you’ll make any exception. Curiously, your head tilts to the side while you grab your phone, scrolling through Twitter, looking for an explanation. 

“Nico Hischier is missing from the #NJDevils bench.” 

Ten or so more tweets follow that one. You bite your lip. The Islanders pressure on him has been intense since puck drop. You hope he is okay, but resist the urge to reach out to him. He will when he is ready. 

At least you think so.

Things with Nico are new. You aren’t sure what to expect from him tonight.

You watch the rest of the game, curled up under your weighted blanket, hoping it will relieve some of the anxiety you feel pressing into your lungs. Breathing is laborious as your airway tightens. Tingles of uncertainty practically numb your fingers by the end of the game. 

A little ping brightens your dark living room to your left. You grab your phone, seeing Captain Nico 😈 pop up with a text (his doing, not yours). 

Hi 😘 I’m so sorry to do this, but I have to take a rain check for tonight. Doctor’s orders are to sit on the couch and not move until I leave for practice tomorrow. I am so sorry. I promise I will make this up to you. I was really looking forward to seeing you tonight. I’m sending you some pizza through DoorDash. 

A lump forms in your throat from both the frustration of not getting to see him, but also the sadness for him being less than 100%. 

It’s okay! I completely understand. Your payment of DoorDash Pizza will be enough for now 🤪 You’re so sweet and do not have to do that. I’ve had enough popcorn and M&Ms for the two of us! But, I hope you are okay. I am here if you need anything.

You sigh, tossing your phone back onto the couch and leaning down to scream into the fabric. Fuck. You wanted to end the night falling asleep in his arms again. He has this way of calming the entire world with his touch. You needed that after a stressful week at work. Now, you’ll be tossing and turning all night, worrying about him.

Now, I’m definitely getting you pizza. No girl dinner for my girl. I am bummed, babe. Trust me. Wanted to get my hands on you. It’s been a long week.

An idea pops into your head, but first, you’ll need to wait for that pizza.

The pizza is still warm in your hands when you walk towards Nico’s apartment door. Thank god for the nightly activity in Hoboken, so you could easily piggy back into the main entrance. Plus, who looks scary with pizza in their hands? No one.

Your boots scuff at the floor beneath your feet until you get to Nico’s door.

“Hey did someone here order grabby hands and pizza?” You call out after a soft knock. You chuckle at the movement you hear beyond the door.

“I did.” He chuckles as he opens the door. Your body relaxes when you see his dimpled smile. He is definitely happy to see you. He’s wearing a backwards hat and comfy, Devils sweats. He looks okay, but his right shoulder seems to have extra padding around it. You tentatively reach for it, feeling the coolness. “Ice.” He winces slightly when he tries to shrug.

“Back on the couch, cap.” You insist. 

“Can I have a kiss first?” He asks, puckering his lips. You lean up, going slightly on your tip toes to connect your faces. Your eyes close as Nico gives soft, gentle pecks that awaken your body. Pink dusts your cheeks as a soft moan escapes his mouth. “I’m afraid the hands will have to wait. I look better than I actually feel.” He tenderly adjusts the ice on his shoulder. You frown deeply, staring at his hand there. 

“Are you… going to be okay?” You finish hesitantly. You aren’t sure if he will tell you, or if you really even want to know. But you’re a little scared and more information would be better than being in the dark.

“It’s too swollen and sore to know the extent of what’s going on.” Nico says. “Could be a sprain, could be a tear.” You nod, then bring your eyes back to his.

“Whatever it is we will work through it together.”

“I’m so glad you are here.” He murmurs, reaching to caress your face. His thumb strokes your cheek in soft swipes that have your heart growing in your chest. “I bet if we each have like five slices of that pizza and fall asleep together, I’ll be better tomorrow.”

“I stay the night one time and now you’re so presumptuous Mr. Hischier.”

“I can’t help myself. You’re a great cuddler. I’ll beg if I have to.” There are his dimples again, just for you.

“And here I thought I was going to have to beg you.” You chuckle, poking his stomach then walking towards his kitchen. “Can I get you anything?” You ask him.

“No.” He murmurs back, looking lost in thought as he scans your face. “Have I said how much I love having you here?”

“Literally two seconds ago.”

“Okay, well, that was too long ago. I love having you here. A lot. I usually have to go through these moments alone and not having to do that tonight is nice.” You nod because you understand how comforting it is to have someone take care of you too.

“I love being here, Neeks. Now put your butt back on the couch. I’ll bring you pizza when its warm again.”

[mika-no-sekai-blog]

Word count: 2300+

Warnings: mentions of puking, emotional and mental stress, mixed feelings

Honestly, this part was a pure struggle💦 Except of Rhysand's offer that I wanted in this chapter I had nothing..

Also I've got a little carried away🤷

Part X | Part XII

Two weeks had passed since Rhysand, your brother, brought you to his court. You calmed down a bit, partly accepting the situation and giving him the chance he asked you for. Maybe the powder he mixed every morning into your tea, could have something to do with it. Not even honey could beat over the bitterness that remained on the tongue.

Of course, you could refuse the tea, but you were afraid someone would force it down your throat anyway. You felt Rhysand watching you carefully until the teacup was empty and only then the tension in the room eased. And so dutifully pretending you didn't notice anything, you drank it.

Whatever was that powder for, your desire to return home hadn't changed at all. At this point you felt really homesick, trying to hide it in front of others. It was useless to show your weaknesses, your vulnerability. Nobody would help you get out of here anyway.

You were gradually introduced to Rhysand's friends and family. Some of them claimed to know you since you were a newborn, some seemed to be new additions like Feyre, your brother's mate, and her sisters. Everyone was nothing but nice and friendly to you, but you were still uncomfortable around them.

Every time Rhysand had some free time, he spent it with you, showing you the city or taking you for walk in the large garden around the house while telling you stories of past. Morrigan, your cousin, did the same. They tried really hard to make you remember something.

Even now you were sitting with Mor on terrace of some cafe in the city, river running under it, attracting your attention like a magnet.

She told you that before you had been basically best friends, always spending time together and breaking all the rules parents set. However it didn't help to change your feelings or to be more relaxed with her. It was apparent she had a certain expectations and it made you even more uneasy. Just like with Rhysand.

Today she took you out to drink an ice tea, the drink she claimed to be your absolute favourite one. Before.

After the first few sips you swore never touch it again. It was everything except of delicious or tea.

You tried to keep up with her, listening to all the memories that supposed to be yours, but it felt rather as memories of someone else, someone so different it couldn't be you. None of the things you'd been told so far, felt familiar. It just made you tired and your head threatened to explode with pain.

You were trapped in this strange city, with these strangers. You couldn't sleep, eat nor drink, hardly dragging yourself through the days. Large garden around Rhysand's house took some of the stress away, but it wasn't enough. You needed the forest, your cottage, walks in nature, fresh air. You needed even him, although it hurt to even think about him. The first few days you still hoped he would appear and take you back home, but your hope died like plucked flowers in a vase leaving only a bleeding hole in your heart.

Mor finally gave up and took you back to your brother's house. She had that strange expression that reminded you of a mask holding all her emotions back, only her eyes revealed some sort of sadness. You were sure she would go to Rhysand and tell him about your afternoon, about your lack of response or interest. She always did. You couldn't care less. You weren't here by choice, you didn't want this. None of this.

Letting a sigh of relieve out, you went up the stairs and shut the door of your room behind. You needed to be alone, another thing that was very rare to have here. There was always someone with you and even when they left, you still felt eyes hidden in the dark corners following you around. Were you becoming paranoid? Most likely yes. But the unpleasant ticklish feeling on the back of your neck was always present.

You wanted to curl up in a ball and cry your eyes out, but first you had to go to toilet. This city, this house, all of them reeked of magic so strong that you were nonstop on the edge, hardly managing to hide the nausea from them. Another weakness you didn't want them to know about. A few gulps of ice tea you forced in, left your body, but it didn't help. Real relief never came.

Panting you moved to the sink to rinse your mouth. You rather avoided the mirror knowing what you would see. Dark circles under the eyes caused by bloody nightmares that wouldn't let you sleep, sunken cheeks because you couldn't eat and anything you managed to force down, ended up in toilet as soon as you were in your room. You didn't know how long your body could keep going like this, but you knew it wouldn't be long.

You returned to your room and winced in surprise. Rhysand stood in front of the bathroom door with tortured expression, his brows furrowed, jaw tightened, fingers clenched into fists on his sides. His violet-blue eyes searched yours. He seemed to want to say something, but his lips were firmly pressed together.

Great. Now he knew. You tried to avoid his gaze and get to the armchair near the window. But he stopped you. His arms embraced you, pulling you to his chest. You just stood there, unsure what to do. Even if you tried you couldn't fight him off.

"Tell me what should I do," he whispered to your hair. There was so much pain in his voice. Funny.

As far as you knew, he sincerely cared about you. Problem was you couldn't return the sentiment. No smile or amount of shared memories could change it. You weren't the person he remembered anymore. Asking him to let you go back to your cottage was a waste of time, too. You already tried it and he refused.

After a few heartbeats Rhysand recovered, his hands stopped trembling. Instead he moved them to your cheeks, thumbs caressing them gently.

"I talked with Madja, the healer who visited you this morning," he led you to bed and sat down. You did so, too. "She said you are exhausted and need a good night sleep. She left this tonic to help you sleep soundly." He put small bottle on the nightstand. "Two drops before going to bed would do," he smirked, but his eyes stayed sad.

You looked at vial. Another medicine to control you and your feelings. Even though you knew he meant this well, it only added on your anger. You rather stayed silent, decided to never take the mixture.

He seemed to choose next words carefully. "However she couldn't find a cause for your.." His voice died out and eyes wandered back to bathroom door. So he had noticed it even before. Of course. It wasn't surprising at all. He also knew about the nightmares after all. "Until now I didn't want to pressure you. I hoped you could meet our family, get to know them again and the memories would begin to appear on it's own. But it doesn't work, does it."

You shook head. He gave you another sad smile and looking down Rhys started to play with your fingers. Silence filled the room.

"Aury-"

"Don't call me that," you snapped. You were allergic to that name. Whoever that Auriela person was, she was dead. You weren't her.

"I'm sorry, Y/N. I didn't mean to offend you.. It's just.. habit.. kind of comfort. I didn't hope that I would ever see you again or talk to you. But I wished every day you were here with me. I wished you were alive. You and our mother." Tears filled his eyes and he blinked to get rid of them. You didn't react.

High Lord cleared his throat. "I.. Let's talk openly. About everything." He swallowed hard. "I'm trying to understand how you feel, what's going on with you, how you lived all this time.. and I'm terribly failing. Please. I want to understand. Whoever you are now, I'm accepting it. I don't want to change you. I just want my sister back. The closeness we had." He watched you with desperate expression.

You frowned, confused. No matter how many times he reminded you that he was your family, for you they were only words. It'd never occurred to you to try to see it from his point of view. Apparently you weren't the only one to suffer in this situation. Thinking that maybe he deserved to get a chance, that you should give him a chance to get closer, you nodded.

His eyes widened for a moment, then he blinked rapidly and ran fingers through his dark hair. "Okay." He cleared his throat again.

"To be honest I thought you wouldn't accept my offer," he muttered, visibly taken aback by your willingness to discuss things with him openly. "I haven't thought the things over-.. Where to start?"

"How about you tell me what's that powder you add to my drink?" You frowned at him, expecting him to deny it.

"Oh, that," he gave you a small smile, squeezing your hands. "We noticed you are still in pain. Azriel said you seem to have headache constantly. He also suffers from it, so no wonder he noticed the subtle signs. And I quite often saw you wincing while moving around," he explained, noting the disbelief on your face. Then he added quietly. "I'm really sorry for what happened when we arrived. It's all my fault."

You were speechless. It was hard to believe it, but all about the headache and the muscle pain was true. It also made you realise how much they paid you attention even if they weren't looking directly at you. "Thank you," you murmured.

Silence stretched.

Rhysand watched you, pondering. "Would you tell me why.. what causes.." his head tilted in the bathroom door's direction.

Did he have to take out that topic again? You inhaled deeply, preparing for the worst kind of conversation. You wished for Tamlin to be with you. He'd never asked these things. He was very observant and intuitive. He noticed your fear of magic and never asked you why or what caused it. Not that you could explain any of that. He silently accepted that part of you and avoided using powers around you. With him, it was so easy. Everything was easy and full of happiness. You blinked quickly to get rid of such thoughts.

"It's because of magic.." you said, taking your hands from Rhysand's and instead you wrapped them around your chest protectively. "I don't like it. It makes me feel sick. Always did. This city, this house, you all stink with magic.."

Rhysand froze on the spot, he seemingly forgot to even breathe. "I had no idea," he whispered. His scent shifted, the air in your room changed, too. The smell of power disappeared, only the subtle citrus scent remained. After weeks you could finally breathe freely and relax a bit. It felt so good that closing your eyes you smiled. Rhysand's eyes tracked that movement. "Is it better now?"

"Much better. Thank you."

"What happened? You used to have no problems with magic before, even used it yourself."

"I don't know," you answered honestly. Walls around your heart cracked a bit, letting him in. "I don't remember what or who I was before. I don't remember any of you."

This time he only nodded, probably expecting it.

He asked you to be honest, so you were. You almost regretted what you were about to tell him. "All this time it feels as if you were telling me about a life of someone else. I couldn't be more different from the person you knew."

Lowering his gaze Rhysand stood up and strolled to the window. Leaning against its frame he looked out to the garden, his back turned to you. You didn't know what he felt at that moment, but you were torn. He was still stranger to you, yet you didn't want to hurt him. After all you weren't a cruel being and maybe, just maybe, you began to feel a certain kind of affection for him that you didn't want to admit.

"So you really don't remember what happened that night," he asked, snapping you out of thoughts.

"That night?"

"The night our mother died. The night you supposedly died, too."

"I-.." Images of streams of blood staining the ground, running down your arms that you saw in your nightmares, popped out. Pressing fingers to your temple you shook your head to push them away. Rhysand watched you out of the corner of his eyes over the shoulder. "I'm not sure."

"Dear sister," he sighed, his voice suddenly cold and distanced. "Do you know what my powers are? What daemati can do?"

You'd never heard about daemati, but the feeling that you should know that, remained and was strong. It sounded like something you should be afraid of. "No, I don't."

"I can look into your pretty head, see any memory I want, change them if I wish so. I can also crush the minds, but that's not what I'm offering you here. I could try to revive your memories. I could take away the fear that some of them make you feel." He slowly turned to you, watching you with wariness. "Would you like me to try that? Do you want to remember your past life?"

You stiffened, cold shiver running down your spine, breath catching in your throat. Could he do that? And more importantly did you want him to do it? You needed time to consider his offer. It wasn't an easy decision.

"It's up to you. You have as much time as you need." And with these words he left, leaving you alone with your confused mind.

Taglist:

@impossibelle @sevikas-whore @b0xerdancer @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @tele86 @mybestfriendmademe @nocasdatsgay

[josephquinnswhore]

i'm having a kinda rough week and i just want pedro and reader lying on a couch in a living room and he's in one of his cozy cardigans, on top of reader while them playing his soft curls, giving him some kissies and he's slowly dozing off

i LOVE your writing<3!! and this is my first ever req to ur blog i hope u'll do it!!

(and i hope u having/had a great day <3!!)

Content - pedro pascal x female reader

Summary: lazing on the lounge with Pedro is the perfect way to spend your afternoon.

Word Count: 0.8k

Content warning: Fluff! Tiny bit of sadness if you squint.

Note: I’m so sorry to hear you’re having a rough week. I feel you, so imma write this for you. This is the sweater I imagine Pedro wearing. Hope you feel better soon and love this fic 🫶🏼 feel free to send me a message if you wanna talk to someone. Also I’m sorry this is short my brain is fried from being mentally in a bad place :(

After the week you’d had all you wanted was Pedro. Nothing more, nothing less. The stress in your life was building, like a water in a balloon begging to burst at the weight it couldn’t bare, like the balloon, you couldn’t bare the weight on your shoulders any longer.

Pedro had asked what you’d wanted to do today, how you wanted to spend the day, if at all with him. Of course you did, you needed him, he was your lifeline when things got tough. He would guide you through the darkness like a torch with everlasting batteries, as long as you needed him, his light never dimmed.

“What do you wanna do today sweetheart, hm?” The softness of his voice drew you into his comfort, the way his fingers curl around your hair as he scratches your scalp sends tingles down your spine in delight, relieving you of some thoughts that had been bothering you.

“Can we stay inside today, just wanna lay down an cuddle if that’s okay.” You notice how his brows pinch momentarily, you begin to wonder if he had wanted to do something productive today. Before you could start to overthink he takes your hand and leads you to the living room, and sits you down on your couch.

“Of course we can sweetheart. You get yourself comfortable, I’ll put on a movie.” With the palm of your hand, you squish the pillow that’s already on the lounge until it’s comfortable to your liking, it sinks under your head and the pressure that had built in your neck seemed to disappear once the weight of your head was no longer held up.

Pedro turns to you once he’s out on the movie; one of your favourites. The picture on the screen is almost hypnotising, your comfort movie being one you’ve watched hundreds of times, a fine distraction.

“Move your legs sweetheart.” He pats your legs, trying to sit near your feet but you protest, keeping your legs still. “Can you lay on top of me?” You make grabby hands at him and he understands, smiling at you as you beg for his affection, he shifts his body and gently lowers himself down on top of you, you open your legs to make room for his and curl your own around him.

The weight of him makes you sigh in content, he wasn’t worried about crushing you, you’d done this dozens of times; he knew when you’d asked him to do this you really needed it, there was never a time he’d denied your request, how could he? When he could physically feel your body relax u der him, the tension in your body melts like butter. He notices how your breathing always regulates and becomes more calm, no more deep and rushed breathing. The thing he loves the most is when your fingers curl around his hair, especially that spot on the nape of his neck.

“You’re so strong. I’ve always admired your resilience you know, you don’t always have to be so brave for everyone.” Although his voice is quiet, it still rumbles as it vibrates on your chest. The confession is sweet, like honey it sticks; you would remember this eternally. You reply with a kiss to the top of his head.

His head is on your chest, rising and falling with you as you take steady breaths. You reach up and pull the blanket that sits on top of the lounge, adjusting it to cover the both of you as he watches the movie.

You’re too distracted to concentrate on it though, too enamoured by the softness of Pedro’s curly hair, tugging lightly at the nape of his neck, you feel the goosebumps form on his skin as you do so. His body becomes slightly heavier as he relaxes into you, the weight creating a sensation of something familiar to a weighted blanket, but also weightlessness. You feel calm, like you never had nothing to worry about in the first place.

With your free hand you rub your hand up and down his left arm, he tightens it around your waist as he tucks it under your back, as if he could possibly get any closer. Pedro was losing it, between the fingers tangled in his hair and the gentle caress of your hand on his arm, his eyelids feel heavy, he feels bad for it. He’s meant to be taking care of you, knows how badly you’re feeling and wants to take care of you, but he can’t help it; it’s almost like a spell and he’s compliant in its entirety.

You notice him fighting it, eyelids fluttering open every few seconds and head jolting trying to stay awake, “go to sleep baby.” You mumble. The softness of his sweater between your fingers makes it easy to glide your hand back and forth in a gentle caress.

He had you; he always had you. You were never going to fall with this man in your life; he would catch you, every time, no matter how many times you’d fall. You couldn’t help the smile on your lips as his chest heaves and the little snores that escape his lips. Yeah, things would be okay.