#I hope this helps you all

[martyrbat]

the memes and jokes about biden dropping out are all great but PLEASE dont turn away and forget the victims of him directly funding a genocide. these are real people that are still being impacted by his cruelty, their tragedies are still ongoing and they need our support more than ever.

if I can suggest a Palestinian family to support, I'll highly recommend Yusuf and his family—who has been vetted for [here]. The GoFundMe breaks down the costs, including the urgent need for an eight year old child to have a kidney replacement, but only €8,404 is currently needed for his family to pay crossing and coordination fees!!

[hansoeii]

[thundersbugs]

rich boy get your ass up and FIGHT!!!

[1st year au]

[marisatomay]

It's so funny that everyone immediately called Eddie gay for doing the Risky Business dance and he is but he also just beat for beat recreated what Tom Cruise did in Risky Business and. well.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Michael Afton draws FNAF tape girl for Vanessa,,

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autism and ADHD Gift Guide

Neurodivergent_lou

[pocketgalaxies]

It feels good to be able to help. (for @overnighttosunflowers)

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

[inklore]

i’ll just be having a normal night and then i remember how the first time colin kissed pen you can hear him panting into her mouth and then i’ll remember how every time he’s near her after that he can barely breathe or you can hear his heart pounding and then i’ll remember how he couldn’t even tell her his feelings during the ball because he literally could not breathe with her right there in front of him like she was stealing all his air again and the way he looks down at her mouth was like he so desperately wanted her to make his head stop spinning and fill his lungs with her because she’s consumed him and then i’ll remember–

[mcr-heritage-posts]

hey everyone - i know there’s a lot going on in the world right now, a lot of causes that need support and visibility now more than ever.

i’d like to take an opportunity to highlight a cause that’s very literally close to home for me: i live very, very close to springfield, ohio. the haitian community there has always needed help and support but now, with white supremacist rhetoric and bold faced lies being circulated nationally, with threats of violence and heightened ignorance being more common than ever, they need it perhaps more than they ever have.

there has been a lot of hate since trump and his little bootlicker attack dog jd vance have started this shit, but there’s also been an outpouring of love and community outreach in the weeks since springfield was thrust into the worst kind of spotlight.

the hatian community support and help center has been invaluable in helping hatian refugees get what they need to start a new life here. they are headed by a team of haitian immigrants that are personally familiar with what their fellow immigrants need. they have been instrumental in keeping their community from falling through the cracks.

i’m humbly asking, if any of you can - please, please consider donating to the HCSHC. every bit helps. and if you can’t donate, please, please share this around. if you’ve ever reblogged one of my posts or found them funny, if you’ve ever scrolled through and liked and reblogged what i’ve put here, i implore you to share this too. this is a very personal cause for me; i want to see these people who are new here, who enrich our community but are met with too much derision and spite, receive the help, respect, and dignity they deserve.

[sleepyside]

Another thing that haunts me about this entire thing is that Amanda wasn’t just funny like her coworkers, or funny like other Disney and Nickelodeon actresses. Amanda Bynes was funny like Carol Burnett. Funny like Lucille Ball. She was effervescent and classic. Her comedic sensibilities were deeply intelligent. She had *it*. And she should have grown into one of the best actresses of our generation. But *something* happened and derailed it all. Even if she’s not the same, I truly hope she’s well and happy. I want nothing but the best for her, even if it’s a quiet and private life. I adored her back then and always will.

[kitamars]

hi ive been going through it a little bit

[densoro]

Seeking help for Asma Ayyad

I'm writing to signal boost @asmaayyad2 a 26 year old lawyer from Gaza. She's caring for a family of 8, including two little sisters and her mother, who suffers from diabetes, high blood pressure, and arrhythmia.

Temperatures in Gaza have dropped to 13°C/55°F, and the Ayyad family has no home. One year ago, they had to evacuate without time to pack any clothes or blankets, and by the time they returned, this is all that was left of their house.

The Israeli military wasn't content to leave them freezing in the rubble. 3 months ago, Israel's army massacred the Mawasi Khan Yunis refugee camp, where Asma's family was staying. They killed two of Asma's aunts, and one of her young cousins, and sent the Ayyad family once again on the run. For now, they live in a worn-out tent made of nylon and wood.

Between the diseases, treatment for existing medical conditions, food, and the distant goal of evacuation, costs keep piling up. Still, this community has come together and contributed 27,730 Euros -- 62% of her campaign goal. That's wonderful. I just have to ask that anyone who can give, continues to give. We've gotten her over halfway there; let's help her the rest of the way. To safety.

Her campaign has been verified by @gazavetters #43

[amalthea-wolfwood]

I am once again reminding you to stop fucking excluding intersex people from conversations about gender and gender related oppression