#I hope everyone is well;; I hope y’all are drinking and taking care of yourselves n I love you guysss mwuah

[iwaasfairy]

bruh I need a break. I need the biggest break. And maybe the worlds longest nap for wtf kind of shitshow just thrust itself upon me tonight. we learned today my loves, to never ever trust anyone you don’t know veeerrryyy veeerrryy well with any even remotely personal info

[tightjeansjavi]

Slow Hands | Chapter 10

“the lone moose”

A/N: disclaimer before we get into this chapter, this is a very emotionally/mentally heavy chapter that might not be suitable for everyone. The main topic of this chapter and the next is focused around Joel’s attempted suicide and Tommy’s C-PTSD. This content maybe triggering for some, and if that is the case, please do not read if you feel triggered. Warnings will be marked appropriately. Take care of yourselves first. And as always, a huge thanks to my beta @angelofsmalldeath-codeine 🤍

~word count: 6.9k~

Summary: the wolves of Jackson are lurking

Pairing | Joel Miller x f!reader

Warnings: !DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT! thoughts of suicide, semi-graphic depictions of attempted suicide, brief moment of stigmatizing suicide (Tommy’s reaction) canon-typical violence, graphic depiction of an injury, semi-graphic depictions of childloss (and the trauma that comes with it) angst, grief, guilt, anxiety, heavy topics, anger, overwhelming emotions, C-PTSD responses, fear responses, no age gap, readers nicknames is Beanie (coffee beans) +18 minors DNI! PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING!!

Slow Hands Masterlist

Two days had passed since Joel and Ellie took the steps together to make up. Joel already had a visible pep in his step, and a lightness in his eyes that Tommy hadn’t seen in his brother for over 20 years. Joel’s back still ached, but the pain was subdued.

Patrol was long and uneventful. The two brothers only had a handful of evidence gathered to present to Maria, but neither would give up hope. After untacking Tex and Timber, Joel and Tommy turned both horses out in one of pastures just outside the stables. Tess was grazing alongside the fence when Timber and Tex went to greet her.

A wave of melancholy washed over his features as he watched Tex and Tess nuzzle one another affectionately. He thought of you, of course.

“Hey, Joel?” Tommy asked alongside him with his arms resting along the wooden fence. “Y’wanna have a drink with me real quick at the Tipsy Bison before y’head home?” He rasped softly.

“I’d love to, but I promised Ellie we’d have a movie night tonight. Can’t go and let her down, y’know? How about tomorrow?” Joel suggested with a grin.

“Ah, movie night with the kiddo. Hey, I think that’s great that y’all are movin’ forward. Tomorrow sounds good.” Tommy responded with a genuine smile. It was a relief that he and Joel were growing close again. He missed his brother terribly.

“Yeah, and Beanie as well. I let Ellie pick out the movie. Think she said we were gonna watch Curtis and Viper 2.” Joel stifled a chuckle as he glanced down at the toe of his boots.

“Aw shit, that’s a good one! Well, you enjoy yourself, okay? Adios, big brother. See ya in the mornin.’” Tommy reached over and gave Joel a side hug before he pushed himself off the fence.

“See ya in the mornin, Tommy.” Joel mumbled to himself with a smile slowly creeping over his lips. Truthfully, he was rather excited for this movie night with you and Ellie. He couldn’t picture a better way to spend his evening than with his two favorite girls.

“Hey, Tex? Y’keep a good eye on your gal tonight. Y’hear? I’ll see ya in the mornin’, pal.” He spoke softly as his horse lifted his head from where he was grazing. He let out a snort in response as his tail swished away at the pesky flies.

The weight of Tommy’s letter in Joel’s pocket felt ten times heavier than when Joel first had written it. He thought about making a quick pit stop at the Tipsy Bison to give it to him, but tomorrow was a new day. He’d give the letter to Tommy first thing in the morning.

Ellie’s carved wooden fawn was tucked away in the inside pocket of his flannel. He brought it on patrol to show Tommy, and because he liked having a piece of his baby girl with him. Tonight he’d give her the gift, and to you, his precious star, something that twinkled like the night sky; matching charm bracelets. Two golden hearts dangling from the chains. Appearing brand new, untouched. The names Peggy carved into one, and Steve into the other. Lovers from the past, and now lovers in the present.

He couldn’t wait to see the look on your pretty face when he would present the bracelet to you. He said one last goodbye to the horses. He’d pass by your home en route to his own as he usually did every evening after patrol. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he noticed a figure looming in the distance. He squinted his eyes through the harsh rays of the setting sun. He approached the figure with cautious steps.

As far as he was concerned, no one ever hung around your home like this. It raised suspicions immediately. His boots crunched under loose dirt as the figure stopped their pacing and seemed to pause in thought.

“Cody?” Joel’s tone ran cold, edged with a sharp suspicion as his footsteps stopped a foot away. A balmy breeze sifted through his salt and pepper streaked tendrils.

The younger man looked around for a moment as the gears in Joel’s brain began to work on overdrive. He knew Cody, or so he thought. He believed Cody was a good man. They shared many meals, conversations—

“Have y’seen Beanie around by chance?” Cody asked casually as he ignored the obvious suspicion that Joel was facing.

Joel’s hackles raised on instinct as he watched Cody lean up against your fence with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Haven’t seen her since this mornin.’” Joel responded flatly. He knew right then and there that he had to play this cool for the time being. He didn’t need Cody knowing that he was onto him.

“Right. Well, thanks anyway, old man.” Cody muttered the last bit as he turned on his heel to walk away.

“What’re you doin’ hangin’ around her place anyway? Y’know I could have you—”

“Reported? Yeah, sure you can. What would you even report me for, Miller? Cody scoffed. “All you had to do was not get yourself involved. Coulda just kept your nose out of things, but that’s not how you play your game, right?” He turned to face the older man once more just as a distinctive crash was heard from inside of your home.

Joel moved quickly, but Cody was quicker. Stronger, and trigger happy.

Cody was pouncing on the older man like a predator does to their prey. They tousled in the dusty dirt before Cody had him pinned down. His fists rained down on Joel’s face and the pained groans only seemed to spur Cody on further.

“Just had to go and get yourself involved with that fuckin’ cunt, huh?!”

Joel tried to fold his arms over his head to block out the swift punches to his face. Cody was ruthless, and Joel wasn’t as strong as he once was. Years ago he would have snapped Cody like a toothpick, but his age was beginning to catch up with him and this was the result.

Through gritted teeth Joel attempted to use his weight to throw Cody off of him, but it was no use. “I’ll fuckin’ kill every last one of you. I’ll rip you limb from fuckin’ limb and scatter your remains to the wolves—”He growled.

“Yeah? And how do you propose you’re gonna do that, Joel? Y’ain’t the one with the upper hand here, old man! You’re not takin’ this from me! Imagine how proud he’ll be when I not only bring in the moose, but your precious Beanie too.” He sneered conceitedly.

That’s all Joel needed to get a second wind of adrenaline coursing through his veins. He growled between his teeth as he used what little remaining strength he had left to force Cody off of him. He was reaching for his concealed pistol tucked in his belt loop under his shirt, when Cody kicked it from his grasp just as the two men inside of your home came rushing out.

“Jesus! fuck, Cody! What the hell are you doin?’ This wasn’t part of the plan!” The one man, a burly fellow with scarred tissue from third degree burns that covered nearly half of the left side of his face yelled urgently. Through the rushing of blood, and pain stabbing every inch of Joel’s face, he recognized this man too. He recognized the man next to him as well, smaller in stature, but stocky. Alex and Oliver.

“Fuck the plan! I’m not gonna waste this opportunity!” He sent the heel of his boot right into Joel’s gut causing him to double over into the crimson speckled dirt with a pain ridden grunt. “Well?!” He threw his hands up in the air. “Was she in there or not?!”

Alex and Oliver slowly looked over at one another before their shoulders simultaneously slumped inward. “No, but—”

“FUCK!” Cody snarled out of sheer frustration. He couldn’t let him down. He was told he couldn’t show up empty handed. It wasn’t an option.

Just as Joel’s fingers weakly grasped the handle of his pistol, that lay only a short arms distance away, Cody sent his boot right into his face. There was a sickening crunching sound of bone matter and cartilage being crushed as Joel’s body stilled. He was knocked out cold from the impact as blood leaked down his face and soaked into the dusty earth beneath him.

Neither men moved as Cody began to pace in contemplation. He paid no mind to the consequences he would face for his actions.

“Cody, we need to get the fuck outta town right fuckin’ now! If anyone sees—”

“And show up empty handed?! Fuck no.”

“Cody, she wasn’t there. We have no fuckin’ clue where she could be. C’mon, let’s just go back and regroup before someone shows up and finds Joel layin’ in a pool of his own blood.”

Cody ignored his counterparts as he continued to pace in a tight circle. He suddenly stopped when the lightbulb went off in his sick mind. He turned towards the two men, with a smirk that could only be described as sinister, “Angie.”

Ellie was curled up against your body with her cheek pressed gently into your shoulder. Her eyes flickered towards the windows in the family room. She watched the last bit of sunlight dip behind the horizon as a warm summer breeze blew through the beige curtains.

Joel should have been home by now.

She waited with alert ears for the sound of the front door to squeak open any minute now. It never came.

She shifted against you before your gazes met. “Beanie, he should have been home by now.”

You understood full heartedly that this movie night was important to Ellie. This was the first time that she and Joel were going to be spending some quality time together after everything they had gone through. This was a big deal.

“Kiddo, I’m sure he’s on his way now. Maybe he and Tommy just got caught up in something?” You wanted to reassure her and yourself that Joel was in fact on his way, and maybe he was just running late.

“Beanie..he—promised. What if he’s ditchin’ me? God, this was so stupid.” She went to bury her hands in her face, but you stopped her.

“Ellie, he’s not ditching you. He would never do that to you. He loves you. I’m sure he’s just running late is all.” Your own fears began to crawl up into your subconscious. What if something was wrong? What if something had happened?

Ellie wanted to believe you, she really did, but her own fears were making an appearance as well. It didn’t help the fact that her last conversation with Joel had been about his suspicions of Lucas..

“I’m gonna go check the stables, okay? You stay here. Lock the doors.” Ellie was up from her spot on the couch before you could even attempt to stop her.

“Ellie,” you started, voice wavering from the building nerves, “be careful, okay?”

The teen looked over at you with a small, yet confident grin, “Always am.” Her face twisted back to a serious one as she tucked her gun in her hoodie pocket. Joel surely would have scolded her if he had seen it.

You listened to the soft click of the door opening and closing. Your eyes drifted over to the unoccupied spot on the couch where one of the pillows was smashed down. Joel’s spot. .

Please. Please just be running late.

Please be okay, Joel.

Tommy found himself reminiscing on the good ole days as he nursed his glass of beer. Condensation dripped down the outside of the glass like tear drops on cheeks. The noisy chatter that encircled him was drowned out by his thoughts. Joel had always been the protector, the planner, the guardian. And as a young boy, Tommy viewed Joel as his hero. His own beacon of light through the darkness. And when Sarah died? It all changed. He was angry. At the world. At himself. And now, here in this peaceful community, he was getting to see those small glimpses of the old Joel that had laid dormant for so many years.

The Joel that he knew and loved so deeply.

He left his glass half empty as he said his goodbyes to some of the patrol guys, and the barkeep before he walking towards the door.

He was heading in the direction of the home he shared with Maria when he noticed a mass laying just outside your home. He thought that his brain was playing a cruel trick on him, and the approaching dusk might have also played a role in what he was seeing.

Gravel and dirt particles crunched beneath his heavy boots as he started his approach. As he drew nearer, he was able to make out the outline of a body. And, oh—god

Tommy remembers the moment he heard the shot ring through Joel’s house as if it had happened just yesterday. While he gathered supplies in the garage, his big brother was upstairs with the barrel of a revolver pressed against his temple.

How could Tommy not have known? How could he have missed the signs? The indications that Joel was thinking of taking a drastic measure to end his life. How could he have missed it?

“Joel!” A younger Tommy Miller yelled in fear. He threw down the tool box in a haste. Tools of all shapes and sizes clattered to the concrete in a harsh crescendo.

“Joel! Please, no. Please.” He chanted weakly under his breath as his feet carried him up the staircase. He stumbled on the top step as a wave of nausea made its presence known.

“Joel!” He yelled again, more desperately than the last. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing his brother so soon. He couldn’t. Not when just days ago they laid Sarah to rest. He couldn’t do this without Joel.

Sweat pooled at the back of his neck the closer he drew to the ajar opening of Sarah’s bedroom. He held onto the wall for support as his knees began to inevitably buckle from the dread crawling up his throat.

“Joel.” He croaked, “please. Please be alive in there.”

With a shaky breath, and through a mess of tears, Tommy pushed open Sarah’s bedroom door.

“I missed.” Joel murmured in disbelief. Disappointed that he couldn’t just do one thing fucking right. He couldn’t just follow through with his promise. His final wish to be with his daughter. His baby girl.

His palms trembled as his dull brown eyes flitted down to the revolver still in his grasp. He paid no mind to the blood slowly trickling from the right side of his head. Just a graze. Missed completely.

“Joel, what the fuck did you do that for?” Tommy wasn’t sure if he should laugh, cry, yell, all of the above? “You’re bleedin’, brother.”

“Oh.” Joel responded flatly. He brought his fingers up towards the right side of his head. He hardly flinched when his fingertips dragged through the flowing blood. He brought his hand back down to his eye level, fingers soaked in crimson. Then, the ringing started. Tommy’s voice started to sound fuzzy from the right side. “I flinched, Tommy. Thought I could do it. I was so sure—”

“Joel. Stop it, please.” Tommy nearly begged his brother as he cautiously moved in closer.

“I wanted to die, Tommy. I ain’t have anythin’ left to live for.” He refused to make eye contact with his brother purely out of shame.

“Killin’ yourself ain’t gonna bring Sarah back, Joel. Its fuckin’ selfish that you—” His words were bitter, jaded, sharpened with intent to harm. “I fuckin’ need you, Joel. I need my big brother to keep us alive. Is he still in there?” He pointed to Joel’s chest, symbolizing his heart.

When Joel finally brought his chin upwards to face his brother, the look on his sunken features shattered Tommy right down to the core. A broken man, father, brother. The same man that helped Tommy with his homework. The same man that taught him how to ride a bike. The same man that Tommy viewed as his hero. Where was he now?

“He died along with her.”

“Joel!” Tommy felt his voice get lodged in his throat at the sight of his older brother laying motionless in the crimson stained dirt. Panic began to swell and fester like an untreated wound the second his eyes landed on Joel’s handgun just an arms length away.

“No. No. Please— what happened, Joel!” He sank to his knees alongside him. “We were just—talkin’ about how much you were lookin’ forward to the movie night with Ellie and Beanie, remember? You said that you would see me in the mornin’, dammit!” He yelled, slamming one of his fists in the dirt before he took a shaky inhale. “Remember?”

He wouldn’t hurt himself, would he? The thought flashed through his mind briefly. He remembered finding Joel in a pool of his own blood after Sarah died. Tommy brushed away strands of Joel’s hair that were congealed together with blood. His brows furrowed intently when he found there was no bullet hole in Joel’s skull before he pressed his middle and pointer finger right against Joel’s pulse point.

Please. Please. Please still be in there, Joel.

When the faintest pulse was detected, Tommy let out a visible sound of relief. His big brother was alive, but Tommy knew he had to act fast.

“S’alright, big brother. You’re alright. Gonna get you fixed up.” He murmured to himself just as he heard approaching footsteps.

“Tommy?..” It was Ellie. Her voice wavered at the sight of her uncle and father on the ground. “J—Joel?!” Her eyes were wide with oncoming tears brimming when she locked in on Joel’s unmoving body.

“Tommy, wh—what the fuck happened?!” She blinked away her tears just as Tommy stood up from the ground. “Is he fuckin’ dead, Tommy?!”

“Ellie, I don’t know what happened. I was on my way home and—found him like this. He’s alive, kiddo. He’s alive, but we gotta get him to doc right away.” Tommy never felt like he was all that great at taking on the protective role, but his niece needed his comfort and reassurance that everything was going to be okay.

Ellie wasn’t listening to a word Tommy was saying. All she could focus on was Joel’s bloodied face and still body. Her emotions were consuming her entirely before she felt Tommy’s warm embrace wrapping her up. She let her tears soak into his shirt as she clung to him for dear life.

“Ellie, I know you’re scared, kiddo. But I need ya to be strong for me, and for Joel. We gotta get him to doc right now. I need you to help me carry him okay?” He spoke in a soft tone, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “He’s gonna be just fine. Your old man has always been a fighter.”

She squeezed her uncle tightly before pulling away from his embrace. She wiped what remained of her tears away on the sleeve of her shirt. “I’ll—I’ll take his legs?” She questioned rather than suggested. Seeing Joel like this, bloodied, weak, on the verge of—

“Ellie, he’ll be okay.” Tommy firmly reassured her again. He bent down over his brother and gently hoisted him up under his armpits while Ellie lifted him up by his legs.

Joel felt like dead weight, but his brother and daughter’s determination helped them power through the dull ache and strain in their muscles.

Tommy hated hospitals just as much, if not more than his brother did. The pungent stench of bleach, the droning hum from the overhead fluorescent lights. It was unappealing, cold, and overall a dreadful experience. But out of all of the late night visits to the ER after another bar fight, this by far was the worst of all to see his brother unconscious, dried blood crusted on his skin. Yet appearing peaceful while Doc checked his vitals and any signs of internal injuries

Ellie was seated next to her uncle nervously fidgeting with her fingers. Her leg was bouncing up and down frantically, until Tommy gently placed his palm over her knee in an attempt to soothe her.

“Well, he might have a bit of bruisin’ to his ribs, and his nose is definitely broken, but it’ll heal. There’s a chance he might be concussed, but I won’t know that for certain until he wakes up.” Doc said while tucking his clipboard under his armpit.

“I’ll stay here till he wakes up. Don’t want him wakin’ up alone.” Tommy said with a slight nod in Doc’s direction.

“I’m staying, too.” Ellie was defiant, of course. It was in her nature, and she couldn’t fathom not being by her dads side—

“Ellie, I’m gonna go and find someone to walk you home, okay? One of the guys on patrol..maybe a couple, given the circumstances.” He needed to make sure his niece got home in one piece, first and foremost.

Ellie clenched her fists, lips pressed tightly together as her eyes met Tommy’s in an intense stare. He could see residue of dried tears on her cheeks, and fresh ones beginning to brew like an oncoming storm. “Tommy,” she started, voice low, yet stern. “I’m not fuckin’ leaving him. I’m not. You can’t—”

“Ellie, I know you want to stay here with him too, but somethin’ about this ain’t right. You and I both know that there’s been some suspicious activity happenin’ as of late. Joel is goin’ to be okay, kiddo. He’s as stubborn as a mule.”

Her lower lip wobbled under the bright fluorescent light. She wanted to be angry at her uncle for telling her what she needed to do, but he was right, and there really wasn’t another second to waste. “Don’t you dare even think of leavin’ his side, Tommy. Don’t you dare.” She wiped her eyes along the back of her hand before making the final decision to get up from where she was sitting.

“I won’t, kiddo. I promise.” Tommy reassured her.

She walked over to the right side of the bed where Joel was lying and gently ran her fingers through a few stray curls that were stuck to his forehead. Dried sweat, dirt, and blood littered his hair and face. She leaned down, whispering something while she pressed her lips to his temple, squeezing her eyes shut.

Please don’t die.

Tommy left the room to give Ellie a bit of privacy. He flagged down a nurse in the hallway and quickly explained that he needed someone to ensure Ellie safely got home. It was decided that two patrol members would escort her home.

When Tommy returned, he was with Jesse and Liam waiting outside the open doorway.

“Ellie?”

Her head snapped in the direction of Tommy’s voice as she quickly wiped away the remnants of her tears.

“Jesse and Liam are gonna make sure you get home safe. Okay, kiddo?”

“Sure.” She muttered. Agreeing with her uncle didn’t mean that she had to act happy about it. Despite her feelings, she made a point to hug her uncle before she left the room.

Don’t leave him. She reminded him.

Sunlight warms his skin, birds chirping in the high treetops, a soft breeze rustles through his hair, kissing his temple. He knows this place, where he stands. It’s—

“baby girl?” He chokes out, stumbling forward in an uncoordinated motion.

She’s there. She’s alive. She’s got daisies in her curls.

“Dad?”

He nearly drops to his knees right at the spot where he and Tommy dug her grave all those years ago. He stops in his tracks as she turns around to face him. She’s wearing the same clothes that she died in, except there’s no blood. No bullet wounds. She’s untouched. Bright, glowing under the rays of sunlight.

“Are you really here? C-can I hold you? Are those daisies in your hair? Baby girl, I’m so sorry.” The words tumble past his lips like an avalanche of word vomit. His heart lurches in his chest, leaping from the confines of his ribcage.

Sarah’s feet carry her swiftly to her father before she’s wrapping her arms around his middle, hugging him tightly with her cheek pressed firmly against his chest. “I’m really here, dad.” She squeezes her eyes shut.

Joel’s arms wrap around her immediately, hugging her to his chest as tightly as he can, he’s trembling, tears blurring his vision, dripping down his cheeks and landing softly on her head of curls. He pulls away only to gently cradle her face in his strong, calloused, gentle hands.

She’s here. She’s alive. His baby girl.

“Dad..you—you remembered our favorite spot?” Her smile is beautiful, radiant, full of life.

“Of course I did. Our hikes, the fresh air. We—we loved it out here. I—I never forgot. Baby girl, I haven’t forgotten you. I—I think about you everyday. I’m so sorry. I miss you..I miss you so much.”

Her hands come to rest against the patches of his now graying beard. “Dad, you don’t have to apologize. I’m okay, I’m happy. I miss you too, dad. I miss you so much, but Ellie, she needs you. I’ll always wait for you, I promise. I’m always going to be right here.” She drops one of her hands from his face to then point to his heart. “I’m always with you.”

His face falls as his thumbs gently stroke her cheekbones. He’s not ready to leave, not yet. Not so soon. Too soon. He needs more time. Time. Time. Time.

Ellie.

“You—you would have loved her, baby girl. She reminds me so much of you. Her smile, her laugh. I see you in her. She’s—she’s my blessing. My second chance..my light in the darkness.” He sniffles, leaning down so he can press his lips to her forehead.

“And she needs you more than ever now, dad. She needs you. You have to forgive yourself, okay? Please promise me that one day, you will forgive yourself, dad. Promise me.”

“I promise you, baby girl. I promise. Daddy loves you, okay? He loves you so much.” There’s so much more he wants to say, so much more he wants to tell her, but there’s not enough time. He knows it.

“Dad, I love you so much. Tell Tommy I miss him too, okay? I’ll see you again one day, when the time is right.” She hugs him one last time as he buries his face into her mess of curls, holding in his sobs as more tears begin to fall.

“When the time is right, baby girl.” He murmurs.

—

“Well, brother. Guess it’s jus’ you and me now, huh?” Tommy wants to laugh, but he can’t. His emotions are all fucked. Everything is so fucked.

“That kid of yours really loves the hell outta ya. You’re like two feral cats.” He continues, forcing himself to stand and walk over to his brother's bedside. “And I know how much you love her.” He murmurs as he glances down at the nightstand where the contents of Joel’s pockets are laid out.

The two charm bracelets, the wood carving of a fawn for Ellie, and a folded piece of paper now tarnished with blood and debris.

“One of these for Beanie?” He asks while gently picking up one of the charm bracelets. “I’m so happy you listened to my advice and went to her coffee shop. I jus’ had this feelin’ that you two would hit it off.”

“You love her, huh? Like..really love her? I’m glad, Joel. I’m glad that you’re finally allowin’ yourself to love, and be loved. If anyone in this fucked up world deserves that, it’s you.”

He sets down the charm bracelet alongside the other before he picks up the wood carved fawn. One of the delicate ears had broken off during the fight, but it was fixable. “Ellie is going to love this when she sees it. You’ve always been..a giver, Joel.. Always thinkin’ of others before yourself. Puttin’ your heart out on the line. I know it hasn’t been easy for you, but I’m so grateful that you met Ellie when you did. You saved her, but she saved you just as much. Turned that cold heart of yours into somethin’ good again.”

He placed the fawn down gently before he eyed the folded piece of paper. “Y’still writin’ those letters? Have they been helpin?’ Y’know, I thought about writin’ a couple myself.”

Something in his gut tells him that this letter..is meant for him.

He swallowed the lump rising in his throat as he reached for the piece of paper and picked it up with trembling fingers. He sees his name written on the outside, and his vision goes blurry with tears. “You..were gonna give this to me tomorrow when we said we were gonna meet at the Tipsy Bison?”

He slowly sinks down along the side of the bed, unfolds the letter and begins to read it silently.

Tommy, this is the third letter I have written thus far, so hopefully this comes across the way I have intended it to. Ever since we were just two little boys scraping our knees up on the playground, telling each other secrets, and holding each other tight when mom and dad would argue into the odd hours of the night, I always found myself being protective over you. I ain’t even sure if it had anything to do with age, and more to do with the fact that it’s been instilled in me since birth that I'm a natural protector. I’d do anything to keep you safe.

I’ve never told anyone this, but the day you told me that you wanted to join the army, and make a difference in the world, I wept. I soaked my pillow with my tears that very same evening cus’ I realized I couldn’t protect you anymore. You were eighteen, and ready to take on the world. Selfishly, I didn’t want you to go, and I know that war changed you. I know what it did to you, and you were no longer the little boy hiding under the covers from the thunder and lightning. You were molded into a man right before my eyes, but you’ve always been my little brother, and ain’t nothin’ gonna change that.

I know you blame yourself for the night that we lost Sarah. I still remember the grief in your eyes. You tried so hard. So fuckin’ hard, and I’m so sorry for what I became after she died.

A stray teardrop fell along the thin paper as the word ‘died’ began to blur from the sudden moisture.

You literally had to pry her cold body from my arms because I refused to let go. Even when we dug her a shallow grave near the woods she loved to hike in, you had to stop me from crawling into that goddamn hole with her.

24 hours. 1 day since the outbreak. 1 day without his baby girl

“She’ll be happy here, Joel. She gets to rest in her favorite place.” Tommy murmured as he set the shovels down next to the grass covered earth that would soon be dug up to create a shallow grave for Sarah to finally be laid to rest. The younger Miller brother hid his grieving behind a stoic face. He didn’t want Joel to see how much pain he was in. He wanted to be the strong one for once in his life, especially since he blamed himself for Sarah's death. If only he had been there sooner. If only he had acted quicker, maybe she would still be alive.

Joel was unmoving as he held his deceased daughter, who had long since grown cold and stiff in his arms. She was wrapped in a sheet, as Joel couldn’t bear to see her unmoving eyes any longer. He had shed his last tears, as he watched his brother begin to dig a shallow grave. As the minutes ticked by, Joel was realizing that after Sarah was to be buried, he no longer would be a father, and the thought made him feel queasy. What did he have to live for if he was no longer a parent? What was the point?

“Tommy..” Joel croaked, “I–can’t let her go.” He choked up as the weight of the world was beginning to press down on his shoulders. He held Sarah close to his heart where his chin came to rest upon her covered head. “Tommy, we–”

“Joel, we have to let her go. Brother, please. She’s gone, and there’s nothing we can do to bring her back. I’m sorry.” He was. If he could go back in time and take Sarah’s place, he’d do it in a heartbeat.

Joel’s eyes began to glaze over with fresh tears as he began to frantically whisper to Sarah as if she could hear him from the other side. “S’okay baby girl. You’re okay. Daddy has you, and he’ll see you soon. I promise. I’m coming for you, baby girl.” He pressed a firm, promising kiss to her covered head before he slowly lowered himself onto his knees along the edge of the hole in the dirt. He could feel stomach acid rise up his throat at the thought of the earth, and mother nature consuming his baby girl. He wanted to go with her.

Tommy watched with a heavy heart as he watched his older brother gently place his baby girl into the shallow grave. His own tears began to silently fall as images of a newborn Sarah flashed in his mind. He remembered the pure joy and love that radiated from Joel the moment he got to hold his daughter for the first time. No parent should ever have to bury their child.

As Tommy willed himself to begin shoveling the dirt he dug up into the grave, he watched in horror as his grief-stricken brother nearly had crawled into the hole. He dropped the shovel in a haste as he grabbed ahold of the underside of Joel’s shoulders and yanked him back.

The soul-shaking, torturous, anguished sound that cascaded from Joel’s mouth, was one that chilled Tommy’s blood. It could only be described as a grieving parent refusing to let their only child go.

Tommy still has nightmares of it.

I���m sorry I put you through that. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t just fuckin’ pull myself together for both of us. I know how scared you were, Tommy. I was scared too. I was terrified. I was supposed to be the big brother then. The one who had all the answers. Who could come up with a plan at the drop of a hat to keep his little brother alive. Instead, you had to fill that position. You stepped into that role because I gave you no other choice. If you didn’t force me to leave that spot where she died, I would have rotted there with her. I never thought for a moment about the pain that you were feeling. I lost a daughter that night, but you lost a niece, and a brother all in one night.

48 hours. 2 days since the outbreak. 2 days without his baby girl.

It was Tommy’s idea for him and Joel to return home to gather up as much food and supplies they could get their hands on. Joel was apprehensive, but Tommy reassured him that they wouldn’t have to stay long. So, Joel reluctantly agreed. Their neighborhood was dead silent with no signs of life to be found. The bombs that the government had dropped only impacted the major cities, and left the small neighborhoods untouched from their destruction. It would have just been another day if it weren’t for the familiar bodies scattered in the street. Both Tommy and Joel avoided looking at the deceased body of Nana Adler as they crossed their front yard.

“I’m gonna grab what I can from the garage, and then I'll meet you inside? Grab a couple of backpacks and stuff it with clothes, and anything else you think we might need. Okay, Joel?”

The older Miller brother could only meekly nod as a non-verbal response. He was too focused on remembering that he had stashed a revolver in his office drawer for safe keeping. At least it would be quick.

Tommy was unaware, clueless to Joel’s plan to end his life. He knew his brother was mourning, but he never had thought about the drastic measures he would take to be reunited with Sarah.

As Joel ascended up the stairs, memories of his life before the outbreak leaked into his mind. A five year old Sarah running down the stairs to avoid bath time after playing outside all day. Sticky with sugary sweet syrup from a popsicle, and dirt and twigs stuck in her head of curls. Joel patiently demanded that she needed a bath. Well, Sarah had other plans of course and Joel would have to catch her first.

He could hear her gleeful giggles now; almost sweet music.

Soon, baby girl. I promise.

His footsteps were soft, and undetected as he padded down the hall to his office area. His hand grasped the handle as he slowly turned it and pushed the door open with ease. Everything was right as he left it. Blueprints for a new project he and Tommy were working on. A school paper from Sarah that she had left for him to proof read. A stale cup of coffee. Tommy’s note tacked to the corkboard that Joel kept from when they were kids. A life preserved in time. He reached for the note as he gingerly plucked it from where it was pinned. He folded it carefully before slipping it into his pocket. He wanted to have a piece of his brother with him, always.

Joel didn’t feel nervous as he opened the file cabinet drawer that contained his concealed revolver. He greeted it like an old friend as he grasped it firmly in his palm. The coolness of the metal diffused his clammy skin. He could do it here, he thought silently. No, he wanted to be closer to Sarah. To be comforted by her familiarity. So, he left his office and went straight to her room.

As he brought the barrel of the gun to his temple, he felt calm. He felt ready. More ready than he had ever felt in his entire life. He felt sorry for leaving Tommy to fend for himself, but he knew that his brother would survive, and he’d be better off without him anyway.

As his finger hovered over the trigger, he observed Sarah's untouched room. From the crumpled sheets along her bed where he had tucked her in for the very last time, her discarded backpack, her posters, trophies from soccer, and all of her photographs. Photos of her and Joel. Her and Tommy. She was the happiest kid ever, and that’s how Joel wanted to remember her.

As his finger gradually applied pressure to the trigger, he flinched. The bullet missed, and grazed the right side of his temple. His right ear was profusely ringing as he dropped to the carpet like a bag of bricks. He could faintly hear Tommy’s shouts and footsteps racing up the stairs as blood slowly trickled down his face.

Tommy, I was selfish. I was selfish for wanting to take my life and leave you to fend for yourself. My baby brother. The same brother I swore to protect till my last dying breath. I was a coward, Tommy. A weak, selfish, pathetic coward. I wanted to take the easy way out. The cheap way. I just hope you still don’t hate me for it. I hope you don’t hate me for putting you through the trauma and pain of almost losing me too. Sometimes I wonder if my attempted suicide triggered your thirst for blood. As if I am the direct cause for the carnage you partook in when we joined Tess and her raider group. Sometimes I wonder if all those times that we murdered people, that you pictured me on the other end of the gun. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the brave big brother that you always believed me to be. I’m sorry that even over twenty years later, I’m not me. I’m not the Joel that you looked up to. I’m not sure if I'll ever be that version of myself again, but I am ever-so grateful that I am still your brother. Your flesh and blood.

I hope that one day you’ll be proud to be my brother again. Till then, I'll always have your back.

-Your big brother, Joel. The one that held you when things went bump in the night.

Tommy isn’t even aware of how much time has passed while he reads Joel’s words over till they're practically burned into his brain. He doesn’t feel the shifting of the coarse sheets, or see Joel’s fingers twitch at his side.

“Tommy..” Joel croaks, voice hoarse and barely audible.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

I no longer have a taglist! Please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications!

[unreadpoppy]

song as old as rhyme - chapter 15

{Beauty and the Beast AU - Raphael x OC (Elize)}

chapter 14

Read on AO3

A/N: this might be a good moment to tell y’all i can’t visualize things in my head, soooo for my sake, you'll have to imagine what Mizora's place looks like (also, just pretend she has like a idk, mansion in Faerun). Also, I apologize if some of the dancing makes no sense, descriptions are hard.

Warnings: Mentions of violence

Taglist: @littlemoondarling

@desenhosdebolso

@shyminnie07

@lemonandhoneytea

“Ah, Raphael, how nice of you to have made it here. And quite on time, as well.” A blue woman, with fiery red hair, four horns and wings, spoke. She had a golden adornment on her head and her garment left little to the imagination. 

The she-devil turned her attention towards Elize, eyeing the human up and down. “And you must be Raphael’s newest pet, Elize.” She said, with a smirk. “I am your hostess, Mizora.” 

Elize chose to ignore the ‘pet’ part and asked “You know who I am?”

“But of course! Words spread like wildfire in the Hells.” She giggled. “It was a matter of time until everyone heard about Raphael’s new apple of his eye.” Mizora took one free strand from Elize’s hair, looking at the cambion. “I can see why you chose her.” 

Raphael’s jaw tightened and his chest puffed. “Careful, Mizora.” He said as he eyed her down, taking a step towards her. It was then that Elize noticed how much taller and bigger than the other devil he was. “You might be the host, but you still ought to know your place.” 

Mizora huffed. “You are no fun.” She took a step back, addressing both of them. “I’ll leave you to enjoy yourselves.” She grabbed a drink from a nearby servant and walked away. 

Elize, who had let go of Raphael’s arm, turned towards him. “You look…furious.” His face was contorted, his nose scrunched. She even swore she saw his eye twitch. 

“Mizora always has a special way of getting on my nerves.” Raphael looked at Elize, and his face softened just slightly. “Come. Let us talk with the other guests.” He ushered her forward, placing one hand on her back. It was the first time Elize noticed how big his hands were, with how much space on her back they covered. 

Elize and Raphael greeted and briefly spoke to many different fiends. Although most were decent, there were a few that made inappropriate comments (mirroring much of Mizora’s own) or looked at Elize’s bosom for too long, prompting Raphael to tighten his hold on Elize. 

After a particular demon made a very rude comment, Raphael excused himself, allowing Elize to have a moment alone. She walked towards a balcony and gasped when she saw the sky. 

For the past few months, all she had seen beyond the windows of the House of Hope were the hells. When the pair arrived, she had been quick to notice that Mizora’s home lacked the typical scent of Avernus. Now, seeing the moon and the stars shine, Elize felt her eyes watering, and a tear falling down. 

She was so entranced that she failed to notice the figure beside her, until a voice spoke. “My lady, why do you cry?”

…

Meanwhile, in a distant room, Raphael had cornered a demon. 

The foul creature had stared at Elize’s chest for too long and that had struck a chord with the cambion. He never considered himself to be a particularly righteous man, but it felt wrong to see Elize disrespected like that. 

At least, that was what he was trying to convince himself of, as he beat the demon up. 

Deep down, Raphael knew, he was jealous. He felt possessive of her, especially after the events of the last few weeks, and to see someone eyeing her, as if she were an object - that, Raphael wouldn’t tolerate. He already had to deal with Mizora’s insinuation earlier, but enough was enough. 

‘She is mine.’ He thought, as he sent the demon back to the hell they came from. He straightened his clothes and with a snap of his fingers, the mess was removed from him. Taking a deep breathe, Raphael made his way back to the event. 

 …

Elize jumped slightly at hearing the voice, but then calmed down. The voice belonged to a dark skinned man, with black braided hair, and eyes of different colors. Due to the two horns sprouting from her head, she believed he must be some type of tiefling, even if he lacked a tail. 

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” She gave him a small smile. 

 “I apologize.” He gave her a slight bow. “I am Wyll Ravengard, the Blade of the Frontiers.” 

“Elize.” She replied. “Pleasure to meet you.”

He smiled. “The pleasure is all mine. But you have not answered my question: what made you cry?”

“Oh, it’s just… I haven’t seen the night sky in a long time.” When he made a face of confusion, she clarified. “I made a deal with a devil and I have been living in Avernus ever since.” Realizing what she just said, Elize followed with “But please, it is not as bad as it seems. It’s quite nice, actually.” 

Wyll raised an eyebrow but didn’t protest. “If you say so, I believe you.” He said. “But should you ever need help, don’t be afraid to call for help.” 

Before he could continue, or Elize could reply, a voice spoke from behind him. “She will do no such thing.” Raphael loomed behind him. “Wyll Ravengard.” The cambion said in a sinister tone. “I see Mizora still has you on a tight leash.” 

Wyll turned to face him. “Raphael.” He replied in the same tone. “I see you recovered from the beating we gave you. Maybe I should call Tav over and we can have a rematch.”

“You contemptuous creature, I´ll-”

“Master!” Elize said, interrupting Raphael, who seemed he was about to burst into flames. She took a step forwards, coming in between the two men. When Raphael looked as if he was about to smite Wyll then and there, Elize put a hand on his chest, getting on her tiptoes to whisper “Look, the dancing is about to begin.” Head motioning to the couples making their way to the dance floor. 

Raphael looked down at her, jaw still tightened. “Come on, let’s join them.” She said, adjusting a strand of his hair that was out of place. ‘Strange’ she thought ‘his hair was perfectly combed when we left’. 

Finally, he took a deep breath and took a step back, placing his hand forward. Elize sighed and took it, allowing him to lead them to the only spot available in between the other couples, the very center of the ballroom. 

They took position and began dancing. Raphael was stiff from anger, and he kept looking around the room, which prompted Elize to say “Ignore them. Focus on me.” 

He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them again, to Elize giving him a small smile. “I apologize. My mind seems to be elsewhere.” 

“It happens.” She replied. At this point in the song, he lifted her upwards, and she held onto his biceps. “Thankfully, you have a very good dance partner to keep you grounded.” Elize said smirking, as he put her down. 

Raphael chuckled. “I believe mere hours ago, I was the one who kept you grounded during the steps.” He felt his anger begging to dissipate, the conversation making the room lighter.

“Ah yes, but that was long ago.” Elize replied. “But do tell me, how am I fairing now?” 

At that moment, they had gotten to a moment in the dance where Raphael was behind her, holding her hands in a way that her arms were crossed in front of her. As he pulled her close, he whispered the answer in her ear. “You are splendid, my dear.” He eyed her neck, fighting the urge to claim it. 

Elize felt a shiver go down her spine as he said that. Eventually, they faced each other again, looking into each other's eyes. 

Although she preferred his warm brown human eyes, she still felt as if she could lose herself into the abyss that were Raphael’s devilish eyes. His sclera was black and his irises were of a burning orange circle. As Elize stared into them, she felt as if everyone else faded away, and only the two of them existed in the room. 

Raphael, on the other hand, felt a sense of calmness when he looked into Elize’s green eyes. They made him think of a nice spring day, the type of day that invites you to go outside and feel alive. Elize’s eyes were painfully human and he was fond of them. For a moment, he allowed his gaze to lower towards her pink lips and he couldn’t help but wonder if they were as soft as they looked.

As the dance got closer to the end, Raphael whispered. “Elize, forgive me, but I believe I must steal something of yours.” 

She frowned. “What is it?” 

“A kiss.” Raphael pulled her even closer and kissed her on the mouth. Elize was taken by surprise at first, but then melted under the kiss, enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers, snaking her arms around his neck and back. 

Raphael’s hands made their way towards her back, to support her weight as he dipped her, finally letting go of her mouth. As they held the position they had practiced earlier, they once again looked at each other, the same feeling passing through both of them. 

When he pulled her close, she whispered “I think we should go somewhere more private.” He smirked and snapped his fingers.

[acaciapines]

Your nanowrimo pieces are soooo goooood they hit so hard fr fr. I’m especially LOVING today’s one with the owl & the collector even tho I don’t rlly know that much abt toh bc I haven’t watched it but I can tell that u LOVE IT & I can’t wait to learn more thru osmosis once the fic is poooosteeeed✨ (i WILL read it i PROMISE i SWEAR)

Anyways give us the thoughts, the tea, tell us how you make the words do that✨ anything u wanna give in regards to today’s bit!! We’re not picky!

Hope y’all are doing okay! Gal says hi :) Remember to eat and drink something, take breaks, and look after yourselves and each other! We love you! This has been a Daily Interaction Ask <3

he he :3 im glad youre enjoying!! its been really fun to pick out my favorite bits even when usually those are the ones w/out context lol. look at my owl and weep boy. firefly <3

YOU WILL LEARN SO MUCH VIA OSMOSIS....literally now that im also doing something for s1 its like. why watch owl house we have owl house at home (the owl house at home is a 1 million word daemon au) (<- 1 mil is not a joke btw idk if it'll hit it but itll at least come very close. no idk why i did this.)

as for today! hmmm...

its truly so fun to write the collector. like im not joking about him being my favorite owl house character despite his maybe twenty total minutes of screentime, so its been such a JOY to expand his role in this series!!

bc like. god. actually i think i wrote a whole like. bit of flash fiction/prose poetry type thing for them a while ago. probably in my files somewhere. but just. youre an immortal eight year old. you are in these years where you need to interact with other people for your own mental stability and health. to figure out the whole Being A Person thing. and you are trapped for like, centuries. trapped away from everyone and everything and DUST, which, in universe, in literally connection personified. you're cut off from all of this.

and you are, let me say again, eight years old.

truly the collector is just. hes had everyone he ever cares about leave him--his siblings the other archivists left him behind not out of any sense of cruelty, really, but because caring about people just isnt really a thing they do. quite frankly they live so long they didnt even notice. theyre far-away stars. not far because they're mean. just because thats what stars do.

and then king's dad (who um. doesnt have a name <3 this is why the collector calls him 'the big bully' its literally bc i never gave him a name--) was an adult the collector actually trusted and looked up to (he meshed REALLY WELL into titan society until the archivists started Doing A Murder since titans are the only beings that match them in power and they have very very different ideas about dust). like ive said before the collector is owlbeastkin but before that they never had a super stable sense of identity--in another world where they stayed w/ the titans they wouldve ended up a titan.

and then king's dad just. trapped him in a tablet forever.

and like, to be fair to king's dad he was reacting out of fear and the best knowledge he had (he assumed the collector led the archivists to the titans, and like, he did, but its not like he knew he was doing that, and, you know, poor guy had seen a huge chuck of his fellow titans killed including babies and eggs of which he had an egg to consider), but it still TRAPPED THEM. and then he died and so did all the rest of the titans so nobody could free the collector even if they wanted to.

and then BELOS, who manipulated and lied to the collector for so long and was also literally his only friend after being alone forever, so like, of course the collector just blindly went along with whatever he said. he was gonna free them!! he listened to them when they talked about stardust which nobody else ever did! he had no idea what the fuck a witch was! he just liked being able to see the stardust sometimes, and belos brought him to places with a lot of stardust. to destroy it, but like--you know. it was THERE.

but all these people were just USING them, and they never really understand that until king comes around. and king's also a scared eight year old!! but like. king's also not wrong. the collector did aid belos in destroying the entire isles. like no joke belos SUCCEEDS here. like not long-term obvi this has a happy ending but at the point we're in at for the future? it doesnt matter that the draining spell failed. all the palistrom trees are dead. witch society Cannot come back from that even if they did end up beating the collector. theyre doomed.

anyways what was i saying. collector. right.

so like, then they meet firefly/grr-click-growl/wings-across-night/the owl beast (king of having so many names i love her <3) and shes like, the first person who cares for them and ISNT using them. even king is using them!! but firefly has seen Some Shit. she sees the collector as a hatchling who was kicked out of his nest and is doing her best to be some sort of stable figure for him, but she doesnt Not see the stuff he's done.

the collector took over the world bc he's scared--all he's ever known is being used and trapped so he doesnt exactly trust most people easily. firefly would Love to not be in this world anymore. shes also got a loyalty to eda and king and luzmari. and, like, cool motive, still trapping an entire society of people.

but like. shes the one who is here right now and nobody else is trying to help this kid.

but the collector just. hes just an eight year old. a very, very old eight year old. but he doesnt understand things like "you can make the wrong choices and still choose to do better later" and "im mad at what you did but that doesnt mean i dont care about you."

he just sees someone upset with him. just sees another person who used him and doesnt care and is going to leave bc everyone leaves him and in a world where EVERY SINGLE PERSON comes in pairs, hes the only one who stands alone.

basically tl;dr: collector my beloved <3

[dc418writes]

✨Announcement✨

Hi everyone👋🏾! So first and foremost, 🎆Happy New Year to everyone🎆!!! I hope y’all had a great and restful holidays enjoying time with family, and/or time with yourselves☺️! I hope this year is full of happiness, peace, and success for every one of you💕!

Next…

Thank you so so soooo much for over 600 followers🥂!! I meant to say thank you when the page hit 500, but as we see that didn’t happen lol so here we are! Thank you to everyone who takes the time to read my works and those who comment, reblog, and/or like, it really means a lot to me and from the bottom of my heart I appreciate every single one🥰. Please accept my big hugs (and ignore my tears we all know I’m soft lol).

With this new milestone, I’ve been thinking and I’ve decided that I will NO LONGER be doing taglists. With the different series I have, there are people who want to be tagged for some things and not others, and it’s getting a bit tough to keep up with. Yes I know I could do something like a google doc and just have different sections for those who want to be tagged for all my works or certain characters, however everyone might not have access to that and honestly I’m a bit new to it myself lol. So if you lovely people don’t mind, I’d really appreciate it if everyone turns on notifications for my page (only if you’d like to of course, no pressure!). That way with every post you’ll be notified, and if it’s something you don’t want to see of course you can just ignore. Plus those currently on my taglist who may be inactive or no longer want to be notified don’t have to be currently bombarded by my posts. Given if this doesn’t work out well, maybe we can circle back to doing a google doc or something else if anyone has any ideas!

Also I just wanted to apologize really quick for the lack of work on the series I’ve started over time. Not that anyone has hounded me about them, but I still wanted to assure that nothing has been discontinued! I’ve just been busy with work (I’m full time, 40 hrs a week) and sometimes tiredness, lack of motivation, and not knowing what all I want to include in a part really be bringing ya girl down and stressing her out lol.

Okay, that’s pretty much everything I wanted to say! So as a recap:

NO MORE TAGLISTS!

Please turn on notifications (if you’re not cool with that and/or bothered by it then I completely understand)

No series have been discontinued, and it’s one of my goals to be more consistent with posting for them (be it little additions or full chapters)

And finally, take care of yourselves! Drink water! Have a great 2023!✨💕

@celestianstars @stargirlfics @fumbling-fanfics @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @adoreyouusugar @lovebittenbyevans @royalwriteroftheuniverse @theartisticqueen @chrisevans-world @literaturelove @ivorylei @elrw24 @pono-pura-vida @yinx1 @justile @sunsetfreedom05 @jackiekae @luvingmyships @give-me-a-million-dollars-pls @bekinds @maxcullen @curlyhairclub @plokyu23 @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @shnadaidas @crossfitjesusinblackskinnyjeans

[vampireantihero]

How are we midway through March?

Good morning everyone, and happy Monday! I hope you all are doing well today. I woke up super tired on Sunday, not realizing that it had been Daylight Savings Time. Why do we still do this to ourselves? Asking several politicians for a friend. 

Before we get too far into today’s news and updates, here’s this week’s schedule:

The Mood and Composition Class

I’m still working hard on the mood and composition class that I’m putting together. Last week, I finished the color keys that I was working on, and now I’m onto doing the final sketch pass for the large illustrations, which will all be available at high resolution for Ko-Fi members for free. (They’ll also be available for sale in my shop). Here are the color keys:

As you can see, I didn’t add hair or features to some of these, and the thumbnails are mostly flat blocks of color. I did this mainly to makes sure I was getting the mood I wanted from the piece, and these were just quick studies to make sure that this is moving in the right direction. I’ll talk more about this in the mood and composition video when I get to how I handle my drafts. A lot of what goes into this isn’t figuring out the colors so much as figuring out the values, and choosing colors based on that. Here’s the same sheet, laid out in values:

As you can see, the values make a lot of sense in this regard. The snow one is one I’ll have to tweak these night scenes for, but I’m largely happy with the value range I have in these. Color keys like this save so much time when you’re trying to make a decision on a color palette, because you can color and flat the entire thing in a fraction of the time that it takes to make an entire piece. Now, I can go into the bigger pieces with more confidence and have an idea of what I want these pieces to do.  

The script is mostly typed up, so the largest hold up with this class is finishing the art and recording the video. I’ll do my best to get this out by Friday, but if it’s not ready, I’m not going to rush the artwork, either. If it’s not ready, I’ll be putting up a speedpaint of one of the pieces.  I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve announced this class, and I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to put together! It’s a lot of information and a lot of demo to record. 

Ko-Fi/Sub Rewards — Wallpapers

As a gift for missing the last month’s wallpapers, I’ll be rendering all 16 of these and putting the high resolution wallpaper files up for you all to download for free. They’ll also be going into the store as singular downloads, or as a pack of all of them to download. I may also augment some of these a bit in order to turn into merch, and put them up on Redbubble/in my shop. Again, I’m hoping to have them done by this Friday, but if not, they’ll be done by the end of next week for sure. Keep an eye out if you’re interested in these!

St. Patrick’s Day

St. Patrick’s day is my husband’s birthday! As always, I like to keep my weekends open in case I want to play games with stream or if I have a special event coming up, but I think this weekend I might largely be away from the PC and unavailable in order to properly celebrate with him. It’s been a really hard start to the year for both of us, so I’m hoping to give him a good weekend and make him feel like it’s a good time. If anyone wants to reach out on the Discord, let him know you’re thinking of him! He’ll appreciate it. Speaking of, if you’d like to join the discord, you can do so here — just let us know how you found us. (He’s LegendarySapling in there, one of the mods with his mascot as his icon.)

I think that’s everything for this week! As always, I hope you all take care of yourselves. Drink your water, and do what you can. Love y’all. (Also, a friendly reminder: If you'd like this newsletter directly to your mailbox, you can sign up here.)

[sparrowofthedawnsworld]

Girls Talk Boys - Sam Kiszka

A/N: AH! It’s the fourth and final part of the 5SOS series! I planned to have this out last week, in honor of Dreams In Gold starting, but I was in the process of traveling to Michigan. I hope you all that have been to shows to far, have enjoyed them as much as I have! Grand Rapids and Saginaw were incredible. Just a reminder though, please respect each other and the Venues ❤️ Let’s take care of each other and continue to help spread their message. I love y’all and hope you enjoy!

- Requests are open -

WARNINGS: SMUUUT! 18+ Minors DNI! Fingering, oral (f receiving), degrading, spanking, possessive/ dom!Sam, unprotected sex (please wrap it up babies), alcohol. There’s probably more, but i forgot already lol.

••••

To everyone else, you and Sam still didn’t get along. You didn’t ever hate Sam, but you were always butting heads with everything. He was always pushing your buttons, always trying to work you up.

But to the knowledge of few people (besides you and Sam), one night you both found yourselves drunkenly tangled together in a bathroom, at a strangers party.

Since then, neither of you could get enough of each other.

You had agreed at first that you would keep it to yourselves, but eventually, you both decided to at least tell your best friend. Sammy only telling Danny, Jake and Josh.

You and Sammy agreed that at parties, you would try to stay sneaky. The thrill of semi- being a secret, or getting caught, excited you both.

<>

Tonight was no different from before. You and Sammy had been eyeing each other all night, at the party Jake and Josh were throwing- Just waiting for the perfect moment to slip away.

You were sat in a small group of girls, your best friend and a few acquaintances of the two of you.

All of them had been going on about either Josh, Jake or Danny- all of them hoping to have a shot at one of the beautiful boys. You couldn’t blame them. You couldn’t blame them at all…

“Y/N, obviously you think one of them is attractive, right?” You could see Sammy watching you from where he stood, close enough to be able to hear your conversation. He seemed to have disconnected from his own group with Danny and another guy, listening intently for your answer.

You met his eyes and gave him a smug look.

“Of course, I do.” You smiled at them, leaning in closer to them all. “I think I have a little thing for Sam.” You watched his face shift, a smirk taking over his perfect lips.

You were determined to get his lips on yours sooner rather than later.

“You should go talk to him.” One of the girls pushed, gesturing towards him.

“I might.” You shrugged. “But please excuse me- right now I think i’m gonna go get another drink”. You stood from your spot, walking back to the empty kitchen. You grabbed the Malibu from the shelf and a coke, pouring them into your cup.

“Talk much, Y/N?” Sam’s sudden words made you jump. You turned around smacking his arm.

“Like you don’t love me talking about you.” You rolled your eyes, well aware that his ego was definitely enjoying hearing you gush about him.

“I never said I didn’t!” He raised his hands in defense.

Sam wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you against him. “I think you should tell them more about us. Tell them how good I make you feel every night.” You swallowed hard at his words, knees feeling weak at the thoughts that started to cloud your brain. If there was anyone who could make you feel the most incredible pleasure, it was Sammy.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me to.” You admitted, turning around to face him.

“I think it’s time people know, You’re mine.” He placed a kissed to your nose, winking at you before he disappeared back into the living room with everyone else.

You smiled to yourself. If Sammy wanted them to know, boy were you gonna let them.

You returned to your small group, taking your spot from before.

“I saw Sam leave the kitchen, did you talk to him?” Your best friend questioned, playing dumb to the situation.

“I have a confession,” Once you knew you had Sam’s attention like before, you continued.

“Sam and I are kind of a thing.”

All of the girls jaws dropped and your best friend just joined in with your laughter at their faces.

“I thought you guys hated each other?!” You shrugged.

“Had a change of heart, I suppose.” You met Sammy’s eyes and noticed his expression was dark and tense. You gave him a questioning look and he turned away from you.

You exchanged a worried look with your best friend, excuse yourself from them once again.

You made your way over to the small group Sammy was standing in, grabbing his arm and tugging.

“What’s the matter with you, Sam?” You questioned, once your were away from everyone.

“”Kind of” a thing, huh?” He quoted you. “Do people who are “kind of” a thing tell each other ‘I love you’?” He was inching closer to you now. “No…”

“Do people who are “kind of” a thing fuck like we do?” He had you backed against the wall of the hallway now.

“I don’t think so.” You gulped, eyes never leaving his dark brown ones.

“No, they don’t. You’re mine, Y/N. There’s no “kind of” about it.” He hissed. He crashed his lips onto yours in a heated kiss, tongues immediately fighting for dominance.

Sam pulled back, pulling away from the wall and dragging you to his room. He pushed you in, slamming the door loudly as he entered after you.

He met you at the foot of the bed, sitting down and pulling you onto his lap.

He started kissing you again, more heated and eager than before.

His hand trailed down to your hips, guiding them to move against his thigh, making a moan slip from you.

“Please Sammy, they’re gonna hear us-“ You whimpered.

“I want everyone to hear how good I make you feel.” Sam whispered lowly, lips barely grazing your earlobe.

“Since you don’t wanna tell them who you belong to.” He chided.

“Sammy… I did tell them.” You defended, head falling back at the feeling of Sam bouncing his leg slightly, as he rocked your hips against it.

“Hardly.” Sam muttered dryly.

“Get up and take your clothes off.” Sam demanded, lifting you off of his thigh and forcing you a few steps away from him. “Everything.” He added.

“Only if you take off something..” You tested, crossing your arms. He looked at you with dark eyes, giving you a stern look.

“Who said I wasn’t going to? Start fucking stripping.”

You wasted no more time at removing your clothes, realizing how serious he was being.

You decided it was probably better not to test you limits with him tonight, even though you wanted to.

Once you were completely naked in front of Sam, you focused back in on him, realizing he also had stripped down to just his boxers.

“Come here.” Sam beckoned with a single finger. You stepped towards him rather slowly. He was planning on punishing you and you knew it.

He guided you to lay over his leg and you glanced back at him in shock.

“Sam, what are-“

The feeling of his hand coming down against your ass cut you off, you screeched in shock.

“Sammy, what the fuck!” You groaned.

“Shut up.” He spat, hand connecting with your ass again in the same spot.

This time you took a moment to really feel the pleasurable sting. Sammy was always somewhat dominant, but this was the first time he’d delivered such aggression.

“Sammy…” You moaned out, ass aching under the assault of his hand.

You couldn’t deny you loved it though.

Even when the tears threatened the corners of your eyes, you still didn’t want him to stop.

“Why are you crying? I know you love this, brat.” He taunted in such a degrading tone. Sam was normally one to praise your every move and sound. This was very new to you, but you loved it, too… There was no denying it.

“Tell me you love it.” He demanded, hand coming down on your ass for the fifth time. “Tell me, Y/N.”

“God, Sammy- I love it!” You moaned out, melting and aching under his touch.

“Please Sam, one more. Please.” You begged him and he obliged.

“Listen to you… begging me to spank you more. You’re so filthy.” He said lowly. A soft, deep, laugh slipped past his lips at the site of you, needy and begging over his knee.

He pulled you up, throwing you down on the bed roughly and moving over to pin you down immediately.

“Look at me.” He commanded lowly, eyes waiting for yours to meet his patiently.

You met his eyes, feeling small and weak under his stare, as soon as you locked eyes with Sam. His eyes were dark and full or desire.

Once he was certain he had your full attention, he spoke. “I’m gonna eat this pretty pussy until you’re screaming. I want everyone in this house to know you’re mine and how good I make you feel. If you hold back a single sound, you don’t get to cum at all. Do you understand, pretty girl?”

An unintentional, loud moan slips through your lips, filling up the whole room. He smirked down at you approvingly, humming to himself. “You’re already listening so well. Such a perfect little brat.”

Sam connected his lips with yours, letting go of your hands and letting his trail over your perfect body.

You didn’t think you could ever get enough of the feeling, of Sam’s hands all over you.

“Please Sammy..” You gasp, arching up into his when he pinched both your nipples gently.

“Be patient, or else I have no problem teasing you for another hour and making you go back to that fucking party.” His words shut you up effectively, the only sound leaving you was a small whimper at his words.

His lips trailed down your body with light, teasing kisses. You squirmed beneath him, trying to push yourself into his barely there kisses.

“You want me right here, don’t you?” He questions teasingly, dipping a single finger between your soaked folds.

“Yes, please. I want your mouth right there.” You plead, desperate for some sort of relief for your aching core.

“So wet and needy already.” He teased. “Maybe I should spank you more often… You’d like that wouldn’t you?” He asked, slipping his finger through your dripping entrance.

“Yes, please- oh my god.”

“Of course you would. Such a little whore for me, huh?” An animalistic sound was ripped from your lips, making Sam’s smirk widen.

Sam adjusted himself between your legs, pushing them apart even farther to give himself more access.

“So wet for me.”

Your hips jolted in his hold, feeling his tongue connect with your throbbing bud of nerves.

You cried out in pleasure as his tongue and fingers worked you over, the knot in your stomach growing almost too fast for you to keep up.

“Sam- Sammy, please…”

You swirled your hips down against him to give the slightest bit more pressure.

“I think you can be louder.” He spoke against you. “Be a loud little brat for me.”

His tongue went back to it’s magic immediately, circling and flicking against your clit in agonizingly pleasurable rhythms.

“Oh, fuck! Sam, right there!”

Sam replaced his tongue with his finger to continue talking you through.

“That’s it, cum for me, Y/N. Such a little slut for my fingers and mouth.” His degrading words were unlike anything you’d ever heard come from his mouth, but it was only dragging you violently closer to your orgasm.

“You like when I talk to you like this?” He teased lowly, curling his fingers deeper into your dripping heat.

You choked out a loud, high pitched whine. You were right there at the edge and you knew anymore degrading words from him would send you over.

“I- I’m so c-close, Sam!” You cried out, hands grabbing at anything the possibly could.

“Come on… give it to me, baby. Let everyone in the house know, what a dirty girl you are for me.” And just like that, he shoved you over the edge.

You shook violently in his grip as you came, swears and sounds that could put a pornstar to shame, slipped from your lips loudly. He worked you through your high with ease, letting go of his hold once you finally came down.

You laid panting, while Sam slid his boxers off his legs completely.

He moved back over you, kissing up your belly, to your neck with a cocky look on his face.

“Aww look at your pretty legs shaking. They’ll barely be able to hold you up, when I’m done with you.” Sam spoke as a promise.

He kissed you feverishly, lacing his fingers through your hair to deepen the kiss. You tugged at his bottom lip roughly, earning a deep groan from him.

“Stand up. Lean over the bed. Ass up, doll.” He growled, getting off of you and standing by the bed.

You stood up, leaning down with your elbows against the mattress. Your legs held you up just barely, still weak and shaking from not only your orgasm, but Sam’s dominating energy.

“You can be such a good girl when you want to..”

His hands traveled down your back, to your hips, effectively holding you up and providing more stability.

“I’m gonna fuck you senseless. Right here… Where everyone can hear your melodic screams.” He whispered into your ear, placing a soft kiss just bellow it.

“Beg me to make you scream, brat.”

Goosebumps formed over your skin. The thought of everyone hearing more than they already have, set your skin ablaze.

“I said beg, Y/N.” He repeated in a firm tone.

“Ruin me, Sammy, Please. I want you to make me scream. Want you to have to carry me out of here..” You begged. He chuckled darkly, leaning back up, lining himself up and pushing into you.

“You’re so wet-“ Sam groaned, pulling back and slamming back into you with a deep, hard thrust.

You let out a strangled cry, fisting the sheets in your hands.

“That’s it, let me hear you.”

He set a relentless pace, pounding into you like he’s never done before.

He grabbed the back of your neck, pulling you up so that you were almost flush against his chest.

“Shit- Sam!” Your volume was what you would normally consider obnoxious, but right now you didn’t care… Nor could you control it.

His new angle hit the spot deep inside you just right.

“Tell me who you belong to.” He demanded, with a harsh smack to your already tender ass. His tone was possessive and deep, making you clench around him in added pleasure.

“Fuck- Answer me.” He growled.

“Yours, Sammy! I’m all yours!” You cried, tears stinging your eyes as he sped up a little more.

“There it is.” You could practically hear the cocky smirk.

“You gonna come for me again? Hmm?” Sam questioned, sneaking his hand around to graze over your clit lightly. You jolted in his grasp, still sensitive from your first orgasm and Sammy’s merciless pace.

“I don’t know if I ca- FUCK!” You cut yourself off with a scream and line of filthy words. Sam deepened his thrusts slightly, pressing down on your clit and circling and the perfect speed.

You fell completely silent for a few moments, body shaking violently as your high built up at a rapid speed.

A pure scream was ripped from your lungs when you fell off the edge, making Sam chuckle darkly behind you.

“There you go, Y/N. Let them hear it all.” He praised. His thrusts were becoming sloppy and slow, letting you know he was close too.

You held it together long enough for him to get through his own high, fighting the overstimulation your were facing. He filled you up, staying still for a moment before moving again.

“Fuck me..” Sam mumbled, pulling out of you slowly.

“Let me recover first.” You teased, turning around to face him. You immediately grabbed for him, feeling like your legs were going to fail you.

He wrapped his arms around you, steadying you and pulling you into his chest.

“Sammy, how am I supposed to go back down there like this??” You scolded lightly, smacking him on the shoulder. He only shrugged, a sly, goofy grin adorning his face.

“Sam.” You said firmly, looking at him in serious.

“Hmm.. I’ll help you.” He assured.

He leaned down closer to your ear, blowing on it gently.

“Next time, though… You’ll remember to tell them who you belong to.”1

[simeons-sinful-saint]

Summertime Happiness

(OM) Boys (excluding Simeon, Solomon) x GN!Reader

Synopsis: the beach episode

WC: 3.2k

Note: it’s summer, and I miss the beach. I really want to go so I projected it here. I will say this is a part one bc I plan on writing smut for part two and you get to pick which ending you want. For example, you could pick to spend the night with Diavolo or you could choose Mammon. I’m challenging myself to write for each character so we’ll see how that goes.

“Beach! beach! Beach!” Mammon, Asmo, and Levi were chanting in the back of the car.

“Guys, we’re not even halfway there.” You groaned. They had been like that ever since you got to the human world. They then started squabbling about what to do. Mammon then tried to steal Levi’s tablet. Asmo seemed to ignore them completely.

“This would be our first human world beach! Of course, we’re excited. Just think of all the photos I could post.” Asmo was gleeful, the main person who suggested this trip.

“Well can you guys keep it down. I’ll turn this car around if you don’t!” They shut up, leaving you able to concentrate on the road, “You guys are lucky that Lucifer is in the other car.”

“I didn’t know you could drive MC.” Satan was in the front seat next to you.

“Of course! I’ve been driving since I was 16.”

“I’m sure you could teach Mammon how to drive safer.”

“Oi! Quit insulting me!”

“Honestly, why couldn’t Belphie be in my car. He’d just sleep.” You grumbled under your breath.

“I still don’t understand why Diavolo would want to come here when he has a beach of his own. Besides the beach is stupid.” Satan was now complaining. The choir in the back started up again, and you could feel the headache develop.

Instead of listening to them, you turned the music up to drown out the noise they were making.

That’s when Barbatos gave you a call. You answered it hands free, “hello?”

“MC, it seems the young lord would like to visit the nearest rest stop. He wants to see a human world gift shop.”

“There will be gift shops at the beach!”

“You don’t understand MC! I heard rest stop gift shops offer a wide variety of trinkets that the state offers.” Diavolo sounded too excited for you to say no.

“Also, Beel ran out of food, and we don’t want him to rampage in the car.” Lucifer sounded annoyed, probably because he got put in the back seat since Barbatos was driving.

“I’m hungry…” you could practically hear Beel’s stomach growl from the backseat as well.

“I suppose we need to fill the cars up with gas as well. There should be a rest stop at the next exit.”

“Understood. We’ll follow you to the rest stop of your choice.” Barbatos hung up. The music resumed. Hopefully, they didn’t hear the commotion from the back of your car.

You pulled off the next exit to arrive at a big gas station/truck stop. Parking your car at a pump, the others got out of the car to stretch their legs.

“You guys go ahead and get some snacks or drinks. Make sure to get me one too. The others should show up shortly.”

They walked into the shop thankfully not arguing. Barbatos shortly pulled in at the pump opposite of your car.

They also got out, and Diavolo practically ran to the shop with Beel following behind him.

“Lucifer, please don’t let them get into any trouble. That’s the last thing we need.” He nodded already looking annoyed. Upon inspecting their car, you could see Belphie peacefully sleeping in the back seat.

Barbatos walked over with a map consulting you on the best route to the beach. Their D.D.Ds didn’t have human world GPS, and of course, they didn’t have any human world phones to access it (and you weren’t planning on buying a new phone.) With a pen, you highlighted the route after consulting your GPS. You knew that Barbatos wouldn’t get lost behind you, but it was nice having this assurance.

Barbatos then turned around and excused himself from your discussion, heading towards the gas station shop. You tended to both of the cars, making sure that they were filled up and ready to go.

When you saw all of them come back to the car, Mammon was thrown over Barbatos’s shoulder.

“Put me down!”

“I’m sorry MC, but Mammon will be riding with us now.” You didn’t even want to know. Beel now was in your car, which solved part of the headache that was going on.

Lucifer simply texted you:

Mammon tried to steal

You knew that Mammon was going to be harshly punished in Barbatos’s car which he deserved. The last thing y’all needed was for the cops to come and arrest Mammon.

You noticed how many bags of souvenirs Diavolo was putting in the back of the car. It looked like he swept the store clean of everything. Same with Beel but with food.

“Beel, please make sure to not get food everywhere in my car. My parents would kill me if I ruined their seats.” He nodded and kept chowing down on the bag of chips he got.

Satan just shook his head and handed you a granola bar and a soda. Thankfully someone remembered to get what you asked for.

You all loaded the cars back up and set off once more. This time your car was quieter, and you were so thankful for that on the rest of the way to the beach.

—

“Finally! We’re here!” Asmo exclaimed when you parked the car at the condo y’all would be spending time at. Barbatos shortly pulled in next to you.

They got out of the car and met up with you, “We’ll need rolling carts for all of our luggage and supplies. They should be in the lobby’s office.”

Lucifer and Barbatos left to go fetch them and check in to the condo for you.

It was surprisingly easy to get all of the suitcases, beach supplies, and coolers up to the room. You made sure to get a big condo so everyone could get their own room (saved yourself the headache of who will be rooming with who.)

“Alright everyone, time to set up the ground rules!” You gathered everyone to the common room, “Make sure you all remember your human world names. Please do not stray too far from the others. We do have the beach for ourselves here, but the public beach isn’t too far from here. Please be careful to not wander that way. We have an itinerary for dinner and free times. Please do try to behave yourselves over the week we are here. Other than that, we’ll have fun!”

They all agreed and left to go unpack their stuff.

“I really hope we can get through this without any trouble. We’re spending too much money being here instead of being in Devildom.”

—

The sand was nice and warm. The sunlight danced over the waves, making the ocean sparkle. Lucifer and Barbatos already got the umbrellas and beach chairs prepared, so all the rest had to do was get into swimsuits.

Running out to settle down on a chair basking in the sunlight was your first objective.

“MC, you need to apply sunscreen before you sit out in the sun.” Barbatos walked over with the spray on sunscreen.

“Right. I forgot.”

“MC, I can help you put on your sunscreen!” Asmo ran over to you, “Then you can rub it all over my body.”

“Oi! If anyone is going to rub sunscreen on them, it’s going to be me. I’m their first so I have that right!” Mammon was quick to swoop in and grab the bottle out of Asmo’s hand.

“You can’t use that excuse every time. Especially since you’ll never admit how you feel.” Satan was the next one to take the bottle.

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, you know you’re a simp.” Levi came up to y’all, “O-Of course I will apply sunscreen on you MC. Who am I kidding you’ll never pick me.” You could hear every mumble under Levi’s breath.

“What on earth are you all doing?” It was Lucifer, “they are perfectly capable of putting sunscreen on themselves.”

“But their back! They couldn’t possible read that part,” Asmo flirted, “and I’m the perfect person.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and took the bottle out of Satan’s hands, “I’ll put on your sunscreen MC”

“No fair! How come you get to do it?” They started to whine. Honestly at this point you didn’t care who put it on you.

“Thank you, Lucifer,” you turned your back towards him so he could apply the lotion on you. Feeling his hand run up and down your skin did feel nice.

The others continued to bitch at Lucifer about it.

“Haha! Your brothers are lively as always.” Diavolo stood next to Lucifer, who only sighed at his comment.

“I’m afraid so.”

Now that everyone was prepared, Mammon, Asmo, Levi, and Beel ran towards the water. Belphie was already asleep on a beach chair. Satan sat next to him with a book in hand. Diavolo was forcing Lucifer to build a sandcastle with him, while Barbatos helped by carrying buckets of ocean water.

A smile grew on your face as you ran towards the ocean yourself with a floaty, finally able to relax and play with everyone there.

When entering the nice warm water, you’re immediately dunked in. Rising back up,

“Mammon! You ass!” You move your hair out of your face.

“It’s ok MC, he did the same to me. He has a death wish,” Asmo looked furious. Every time he’s swim close to Mammon, he would simply swim away.

“Didn’t peg you as a good swimmer.”

“The great Mammon can do many things!” His laughter was infectious, and your anger fizzled out as you see the brothers chasing each other.

“Ugh, what normies.”

“What did you expect to do out here Levi?”

“Well you see I saw in this anime called A Trip to the Beach turns into a romance story and-“

“Forget I asked. I’m surprised that Mammon didn’t dunk you.”

“The water doesn’t scare me.”

“Makes sense. You do kind of control water. I guess this would be the best place to summon Lotan, besides the fact this is a human world beach.”

“Hahaha. I have no plans of doing that. My Ruri-Chan towel and bag would get soaked, and I don’t want that.”

“Right…”

You then heard eating sounds in your ear. Turning around, you see Beel mouth full of fish, “You can’t just eat the marine life here!”

“But I was hungry…”

“Then go to shore and grab some of the food we brought down here!”

Beel took you up on that offer as soon as he finished devouring the fish he caught with his bare hands. You just prayed he left something for the rest of you, lest you have to go back to the condo and get more.

Mammon quickly swam back and hid behind your back, practically using you as a shield.

“Don’t use MC to protect you!” Asmo was coming in hot. You dunked yourself under the water for Asmo to finally catch Mammon and push his head in the water.

Upon both of you returning to the surface, you shook your head to get the salt water out of your ears.

“You pushed too hard Asmo!” Mammon bitched.

“You brought this upon yourself!”

“Can you both shut up? I’m trying to fantasize about Ruri-Chan.”

“Stay out of this otaku!” They both shouted at the same time. Levi clammed up.

“Of course, they think I’m some weird gross shut in…”

“Oh Levi, that’s not true. Just let those two idiots fight and dunk each other under water. Let’s go back to shore and hunt for seashells!” He felt better from your words. Grabbing the floatie that seemed to be abandoned (you’re glad it didn’t float away into the sea), you both swam back and went to dry yourselves off.

Beel was devouring all of the food in the coolers you brought.

“Satan! Why didn’t you restrain him?”

“Huh, it’s not my job to keep Beel from eating everything. That’s Belphie’s.” You glanced to see that he was asleep basking in the summer sun.

“Of course.” You turned your attention back to Satan, “why don’t you come with Levi and I to hunt for seashells?”

“No.” It was immediate and caught you off guard, “I’m at the climax of this book, and I’ll do beach stuff when I’m done. Except go into the water.”

“Still don’t get it, but whatever.”

You grabbed the necessary supplies to gather seashells, and you made your way back to the shoreline with Levi by your side.

“Let’s see if we can find one that’s not broken! I’d love to get to a nice cone shaped one” Levi cheered up.

So far, you’ve only found broken sand dollars and pieces of broken corral, “well this isn’t great.”

“Oi! Why you hogging MC all to yourself?” Mammon always knew how to ruin a moment.

“Hey, Mammon~”

“Y-yeah?”

“You want a dollar?”

“Yes! Giving money to me is an investment-“

You simply placed a sand dollar in his hand causing Levi to practically die, howling about how you got him good.

Mammon just stood there looking like he could turn to dust at any moment. You couldn’t help but laugh.

Satisfied with your haul, you and Levi placed the bucket of shells back at the beach chairs.

“Still reading Satan?”

“Yes, and it’s getting good so leave me alone.” You roll your eyes in response. Levi said he would chill with Satan in the shade, something about getting his daily log on bonuses.

Shrugging, you turn on the group you hadn’t visited yet.

“Lucifer! Diavolo! How’s the sandcastle coming?”

“Well…I tried making a sand sculpture of Lucifer, but it doesn’t look anything like him.” Diavolo pouted. Upon looking at the pile of sand, you tried to hold back your laughter. If this was supposed to be Lucifer, then Asmo should really give him a makeover.

“The important thing is you tried Diavolo,” Lucifer tried to hide his annoyance, but of course he was bad at that (he would never admit it though.)

“Maybe we should take a break, my lord.”

“I guess so.” You felt bad and patted Diavolo on the back.

“You’ll get it right the next time you do it. Here why don’t I show you something humans do on the beach!”

Diavolo perked up, and the three of them followed you back to the shaded umbrella where their beach chairs were. You sauntered off and grabbed four bottles of beer and a bag of limes you cut up earlier (thankful that Beel didn’t eat them.)

You handed them the beer as well as a bottle opener, “Ok, so typically on the beach with this brand of beer, you push a lime into the neck of the bottle. It helps add flavor to the drink of the summer here.”

You demonstrated for them, even though Barbatos was a step ahead of you anyway. Diavolo looked at it all with wonder, taking a sip after preparing it, “Fascinating! Is this really what humans do?”

“Some. I like to do it when I go to the beach. It’s nice and relaxing. Plus, the advertising says to do this.”

“I do have to say, it does add a little aromatic flavor. However, I’ll have to decline drinking more than I already have.” Barbatos handed the bottle back to you. Even though you knew he had his reasons, it bummed you out a little.

“Well Lucifer! What do you think?” Diavolo turned towards his friend who was happily drinking his.

“Honestly, I needed some sort of break after being in the sun for so long.”

“Well, I’m glad I was able to help.” Lucifer smiled at your response, praising you about how you’re always a help to everyone.

You sat down next to them on the sand and just took in the calmness of the beach air, the smell of salty sea water filling your nose. It was enjoyable to have one moment of relaxation.

“Hey MC! Belphie’s awake! Help us throw him into the ocean!” You could hear Mammon from the other side of the beach.

“Your brothers are always so exciting, Lucifer,” Diavolo was laughing and was waiting for Lucifer to laugh along with him.

“More like a headache…”

“I’ll go over there so they don’t bother you three. Remember to get the relaxation you need. The three of you work way too hard, you deserve a break. That goes for you to Barbatos! You don’t have to be a butler here.”

He laughed at your comment, “So noted.”

Satisfied, you ran back over to the others.

“If you like to live, you’ll let go of me” Belphie was trying to fight, but with Mammon, Asmo, and Levi together, he didn’t stand a chance.

“Same for you Beel! Put me down so I can finish my book!”

“Nah, you can finish your book later. We’re at the beach. You should have fun with us!” Mammon had a death wish. They managed to pull Belphie and Satan into the water. Belphie at this point had already given up.

Satan, however, was like trying to bathe a cat. Extremely unhappy about it. He screamed profanities and was about to go apeshit, until you were by his side and holding his hand.

“It’s ok Satan. They just want you to have fun.” He huffed in response with a hint of blush developing on his face.

Finally, all of you were in the ocean, splashing water at each other, seeing who could hold their breath the longest, and float around letting the water massage your worries away.

The fun eventually was coming to a close. The sun started to set, and everyone went to pack everything up.

“Hold on!”

They turned to look at you who has a mischievous look on your face, holding up sparklers in their face, “They’re a lot of fun to have on the beach too.”

Everyone was about to decline until, “Ohhhh, that sounds like fun. I’ll do it with you MC.”

Diavolo started to take sparklers from your hand and went to get a lighter.

“Well, I guess I can do it too.” Mammon said.

“It does sound like fun. Plus, I can take all sorts of photos to post when we get back to Devildom.” Asmo ran to be by your side.

“Don’t eat the sparklers Beel,” Belphie said walking over with his twin.

“W-well it’s a normie thing to do, but if MC wants to do it then I will too.” Levi took a sparkler from the packet.

“As long as Lucifer isn’t going to participate then I will too.” Satan said.

“Too bad because Lucifer has to do this too!” Your words sounded very adamant, leaving Satan with no other choice.

Lucifer sighed but then smiled, “As long as your happy MC and Diavolo.”

You squealed in happiness. As you lit the sparklers, everyone waved them around. Asmo took photos of everyone with theirs. Mammon tried writing words (they didn’t look good.) The rest were happy to chase each other with Diavolo and Lucifer standing on the side. Diavolo was mesmerized by the sparks shooting out, and Lucifer couldn’t help but laugh with him.

Barbatos filmed the entire thing for everyone to remember later. One of the best days ever.

—

After showering, you noticed the night was still young. Everyone was kind of doing their own thing now.

You didn’t want the night to end too soon. Hitting up the town seemed like a good idea.

You sat thinking of who you should bring with you.

[heyiwrotesomethings]

Afraid to Love Again

Lady Tamayo x They/Them Reader

A/N: Heyooo. Tamayo is great, but I kind of struggle writing her. I tried anyway though because I love this demon doctor lady. Be prepared for sickness, death and a dash of angst. There is a happy ending though (my delicate heart wouldn’t be able to take it if there wasn’t)!  Also, it’s kinda a reincarnation/ soulmate kind of deal but I didn’t really develop that angle too much. And I can’t remember how much of Tamayo’s backstory was discussed in the manga vs the anime so just a heads up on that. It’s not super spoilery or anything (I think you could guess how that went) but just in case I thought I’d let y’all know. Hope you enjoy! Word Count: 6,939

The village had fallen on hard times. Work was scarce, poverty and disease was rampant. Over the past several months, (Y/n) had seen many family, friends and neighbors fall ill and never rise again. Those who had the strength to leave did, and many offered passage to (Y/n) as well. Though they were thankful for the offers of sanctuary, (Y/n) remained in their family home. They converted it into a makeshift hospital and began caring for the people who no longer could take care of themselves.

There were no doctors in their little village. The nearest, (Y/n) heard was days away. They couldn’t risk leaving all of these sick souls without someone to look after them, they would surely be dead before they could get back. If these people, their people, were going to die either way, they wanted to be there to make the process as easy as possible.

(Y/n) had seen more death and sickness than most. They had almost forgotten what it was like to truly live.

“(Y/n)-san?”

(Y/n) paused their movements wiping sweat from an old woman’s body, and turned to the cot behind them.

“Yes, Ichiro?” (Y/n) smiled kindly, though their eyes reflected just how tired they were.

“I don’t feel so good.” The young child coughed harshly.

“I know, I’m sorry. Let me get you some water.”

(Y/n) quickly finished bathing the old woman left behind by her family and tucked her in. (Y/n) suspected she’d be dead before the next morning. The rattling, gurgling breaths were just about the only sign that she wasn’t already gone.

(Y/n) put the rag in a basket to be washed for later, then they retrieved some water for the sick boy. They made their way through the sea of moaning people waiting for death, checking in with the more lucid villagers as they went.

(Y/n) was caring for thirty-seven people in their ancestral home and they did so alone. Any healthy people that remained in the village avoided the plagued building at all costs. It was hard work, keeping all of these people as comfortable as they could. But compared to the seventy people they had started with during those first weeks of winter, it was much more manageable.

“Here you go, drink as much as you can.” (Y/n) spoke softly, helping the boy sit up to receive it.

He took a few sips before spluttering, excess water slipped down his chin. He sniffed and held his throat, curling back into himself.

(Y/n) skimmed their hand over Ichiro’s burning forehead and watched him struggle forlornly.

How much longer would they all have to live in this hell?

(Y/n)’s question, however rhetoric, was answered the next night.

(Y/n) groaned between blinks of sleep. They had fallen asleep while standing, again. The noise that so rudely awakened them sounded like someone was rattling the door of the main entrance.

Who could it be at this hour? Weary travelers? Surely they had a fair choice in vacated homes already. No matter, (Y/n) figured once they caught the full blast of the smell of death permeating the air they would retreat quickly enough.

They approached the door sliding it open with little preamble. Even if the smell wasn’t enough to deter the unwanted guests, surely the look of utter despair (Y/n) wore would scare them off.

“I’m afraid if you came searching for lodging, I cannot take you.” (Y/n) spoke, barely perceiving the two people before them. “There are, however, many empty homes you have passed by that you are more than welcome to help yourselves too. I would recommend to be on your way quickly, sickness is rampant here.”

“That is why I’ve come.”

(Y/n) allowed themself a puzzled face, finally looking at the woman and her stern looking companion more carefully, taking in the delicate beauty of the stranger before them.

“I’m a doctor.”

(Y/n) suddenly felt more awake, staring at the woman with unrestrained hope and awe.

“Really?” They whispered, as if afraid this was all just a dream or a sleep deprived hallucination.

“Are you doubting her?” The young man spoke up sharply.

“Yushirou.” The woman warned, leveling a look at her companion that immediately shut him back up. The woman turned back to (Y/n). The soft, empathetic look in her eyes made (Y/n) feel weak. The softness of her voice as she addressed (Y/n) again made them feel fragile, all the while they shook like a leaf.

“Allow me to evaluate your sick. I’ll do everything I can.”

“Please,” (Y/n) nodded, making room for the pair to enter their home turned sick ward, “even in my wildest dreams I never thought anyone would actually come for us. I’ve tried so hard to save these people, but I am no doctor.”

The woman came forward, gingerly taking (Y/n)’s shaking hands in her own. (Y/n) noted how cold they were but still held on to the offered hands like a lifeline.

“You’ve done well with what you have, your kindness is immeasurable. Sleep now, and leave the rest to us.”

“Who are you?” (Y/n) asked, suddenly feeling as if they were about to collapse. Just hearing those words was like a weight was dropped from their aching shoulders. The woman caught them before they could fall, the young man, Yushirou, let out a strangled noise of displeasure but stayed back.

“You may call me Tamayo.”

***

When (Y/n) awoke, it was still dark. They assumed they must have only slept a few hours. At least, they thought so until they noticed a crack of sunlight shining between the curtains.

(Y/n) held their head in their hands and grimaced. They couldn’t even remember the last time they had slept in their own bed before now. They didn’t even remember how they got there. They sighed. It didn’t matter, they needed to get up and see how everyone was doing. They had already been negligent long enough.

(Y/n) noticed as they walked through the halls that all the curtains were drawn. They found it odd. The curtains were always kept open regularly, (Y/n) couldn’t be bothered to deal with such minor details in the grand scheme of things and they wouldn’t start now. They left the curtains closed and continued on their way.

“What are you doing up already?”

(Y/n) turned, shocked at the clear and present voice. It had been a long time since they heard someone who sounded so strong and healthy. They turned and saw a grumpy boy staring sternly at them.

“Who are you?” (Y/n) asked, holding on to the wall as a dizzy spell passed through them.

“Tsk, get back to bed. You clearly aren’t well.” The boy said.

“Yushirou? Did you find any— oh, awake already? You should rest more.” (Y/n) turned back down the opposite side of the hall and saw the woman who had been in their restless dreams the night before.

“You’re... You’re real?” (Y/n) asked, mostly to themself, peering at the woman with blurred vision.

“Yes,” Tamayo smiled sadly approaching (Y/n), “you don’t need to worry anymore. Yushirou and I are taking care of things. Please, rest.”

“No, wait. I want to help. Please, teach me everything you know.” (Y/n) pleaded, sliding to their knees as they gave out.

“Like you could help anyone like this. You were already way past your limits before. Stay out of Lady Tamayo’s way.” Yushirou stated harshly.

“No need to speak in such a cold manner, Yushirou.” Tamayo scolded lightly before coming to kneel at (Y/n)’s side, rubbing their back. “How about this, you rest until you are back to full health, then you may observe my work. Is this acceptable?”

(Y/n) frowned, but nodded in agreement. “Yes, thank you.”

“Of course. Yushirou, help our host back to their room please.”

Yushirou readily complied, easily picking (Y/n) up and retiring them to their room.

“And stay there this time.” He grumbled.

(Y/n) fell back asleep almost immediately and when they awoke once more, another day had come and gone. They felt a lot better, just hungry. So they got up and made their way back down the hall to see what was left of the foraging they had done a couple days prior. Hopefully, Tamayo and Yushirou were well versed in the plant life of the area and got some more.

They stopped at the sick ward first to see how things were going. Yushirou wasn’t around, but (Y/n) saw Tamayo whispering to a sick man. Whatever she had asked him, he shook his head looking a tad uncomfortable. (Y/n) moved closer and Tamayo turned, like she could sense their presence and offered a tight smile.

“You look much better. How are you feeling?” She asked.

“As good as I can be. How have things been going here?”

“I apologize, we lost three while you slept.” Tamayo informed solemnly.

“You don’t need to apologize. It means the world to us that you care to try at all.” (Y/n) replied, sincerely. “I’m sure you’ve noticed we don’t have very much in value. Not many people would work like this for no incentive.”

“You must be one of them.” Tamayo’s eyes softened, “you could have left, but you stayed with them. You have a kind heart.”

“...Thank you.” (Y/n) rubbed the back of their neck and looked away, feeling heat gather around their cheeks.

“I just realized I don’t know your name.” Tamayo said. “How rude of me to not ask sooner.”

“It’s alright. I haven’t exactly been conscious most of the time you’ve been here.” (Y/n) let out a dry laugh, “I’m (Y/n).”

“Just (Y/n)?” Tamayo blinked.

“If I can call you Tamayo, please call me (Y/n).”

“Very well, (Y/n).” Tamayo smiled. “I have a few more people to visit with at the moment. Would you care to observe?”

“Yes, I—“ (Y/n) stomach growled before they could finish speaking, they held onto their gut, abashed.

“Oh, you haven’t eaten? You should have told me, we must keep you healthy. Come,” Tamayo guided (Y/n) to their own kitchen where Yushirou was watching over a boiling pot.

“Yushirou, when the broth is done give (Y/n) a bowl please.” Tamayo asked.

“I just finished it Tamayo-sama. I’ll get on it right now.”

(Y/n) slurped down the broth with vigor and thanked Yushirou profusely, making him blush and turn away. They fed the rest to the sick. (Y/n) had asked Tamayo and Yushirou why they hadn’t taken any for themselves to which Tamayo replied that they had already eaten not long before (Y/n) had woken up.

After a long day of absorbing any teachings Tamayo had to share, (Y/n) was sent back to bed for the night much to their dismay.

“But, I slept just recently! I can still help!” (Y/n) frowned as Tamayo ushered them back to their room.

“I don’t know if you remember this, but humans are supposed to go to sleep every night. Yushirou and I have everything under control.” Tamayo assured.

“You guys need to sleep sometime too you know.” (Y/n) retorted.

“Don’t worry, we rest in turns.” Tamayo spoke. (Y/n) couldn’t explain why, but they felt as if Tamayo was being a bit deceitful with her words. However, they let her be for now and went back to bed without anymore fuss.

When (Y/n) woke up the next morning, they were surprised to see that some of the people looked much better already. Of course they were still quite ill, but (Y/n) felt hopeful for them. Unfortunately, the man, Jiro, that (Y/n) had seen Tamayo talking to the day before had died sometime in the night. A few others seemed to be not far behind him in that aspect. Still, (Y/n) worked hard and learned everything they could about the medicines Tamayo crafted and how to distribute them.

“Tamayo?” (Y/n) asked one night before being sent back to bed by the motherly woman.

“Yes, (Y/n)?”

“I was just wondering... what made you come through here? Our village hasn’t had outsiders since last spring, if even then.”

“I was simply looking for somewhere quiet to practice my craft. We were passing through when we realized this village was a little, too quite.”

“Mm, yeah... well, you’re welcome to stay. You can even live here forever if you want, I don’t mind.”

“That’s a rather, bold, offer.” Tamayo replied after a short pause. It was then that (Y/n) realized how that may have sounded and got embarrassed.

“I mean, because— sorry if that was weird. I just, it’s nice having you and Yushirou-san around. I can tell your both good people, you know? I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable!”

“You didn’t,” Tamayo had a far away look in her eye, but she still reached out to pat (Y/n)’s arm in a gesture of kindness, “I appreciate the sentiment, but it will be best for all of we take our leave once we are done here.”

“I see,” (Y/n) tried to keep the disappointment out of their voice, “we’ll just have to make the most out of the time we do have.”

“I suppose. If that is what you wish.”

Over the next several days (Y/n) noticed several odd little behaviors and happenings in their home. They went out one morning to gather certain plants and herbs for Tamayo and when the came back, they noticed a piece of paper with a strange symbol drawn on it that they had never seen before. They questioned Yushirou about it since he was the first one they saw upon returning.

Yushirou scoffed, saying it was a healing symbol and told (Y/n) under no uncertain terms that they shouldn’t look at it, much less even think about touching it. (Y/n) promised him they wouldn’t and backed away into the kitchen with their basket of herbs and a bead of nervous sweat running down their chin.

They also noticed how neither Tamayo or Yushirou appeared to ever eat or sleep when they were around. Even when (Y/n) made something as light as tea, they were refused by both travelers.

Another oddity was that Yushirou always yelled at (Y/n) for peeking through curtains to see if the sun was shining. For some reason, he and Lady Tamayo did not seem to be fond of the sun. Perhaps they were just light sensitive or burned easily. They both seemed to be very fair skinned. (Y/n) was often sent off alone on errands during the day as well. They didn’t complain though, they were happy to help in anyway they could, even if the doctor and her assistant were a bit odd.

Stranger yet was how Tamayo would speak so softly to the deathly ill who showed no signs of recovery. The soft lilt of Tamayo’s voice was not what (Y/n) found strange, they were quite enamored with its dreamlike quality. It was the soft urgency in which she spoke so quietly that always left (Y/n) curious. They only witnessed such events a few times, but they always had ended with the recipient of Tamayo’s whispered words dead mere hours later.

(Y/n) didn’t fault Tamayo for such coincidences. The good doctor probably knew who would die the second she entered the room that first night. (Y/n) figured she was just giving them some form of solace in their final hours to help them find peace.

It was one night where (Y/n) had woken up with a painful thirst for water when things became... complicated.

“We need to think about leaving soon, Tamayo-sama.” (Y/n) heard Yushirou speak as they neared the kitchen. “You have already gone past your limit of resistance by a few days.”

“I’ll be fine, Yushirou. Soon there will be a good handful of people who will have their strength back. (Y/n) still has much I can teach them... we mustn’t leave just yet.”

“The blood here is diseased and of poor quality, even if you could get some without anyone noticing, it would not be filling enough to do much good. Please my lady, let’s keep moving to the next city like we planned.” Yushirou stressed.

“I can’t Yushirou, not when these people need help that only I can adequately provide. I can go a little longer...”

(Y/n) stood still in the hall as they listened in. Tamayo needed blood? For what, a transfusion? They took a deep breath and entered the room.

“If you need blood—“

The air was suddenly knocked out of their lungs as Yushirou came forward with inhumane speed and knocked (Y/n) hard into the back wall.

“Spying? Why couldn’t you just keep your nose away from where it doesn’t belong!” Yushirou hissed, tightening his hold.

“Yushirou!” Tamayo warned, coming up behind him, willing him to loosen his grip, “don’t hurt them.”

Yushirou clicked his tongue in agitation and allowed (Y/n) to slide to the ground in a fit of gasps and coughs.

Tamayo knelt beside them and checked them over with a worried frown.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). You aren’t hurt are you?”

(Y/n) took a moment to catch their breath before answering, “I, I don’t think so.” They coughed again, “Damn Yushirou, you are a lot tougher than you look!”

Yushirou growled, but upon seeing the stern look Tamayo leveled at him he backed off and looked away, almost sheepish. He looked more like a scolded guard dog than anything else.

Tamayo turned back to (Y/n) looking forlorn, “How much did you hear?”

“You need blood or you’ll have to leave.” (Y/n) answered honestly, “If you need blood, you can have some of mine... I don’t know if it’s the right type, but if it’s what you need, I’ll be more than happy to give it to you.”

Tamayo shook her head. “(Y/n), I don’t think you understand what you are offering.”

“It’s my blood, I’ll offer it to whomever I please,” (Y/n) staggered back to their feet, “and I want to give it to you. You don’t even need to tell me what for.”

Tamayo scanned (Y/n)’s face before closing her eyes and turning away. She walked towards a nearby window and pulled open the curtains, allowing the full moonlight to glide over her skin and flowery kimono. (Y/n) swallowed thickly, clearing their throat they turned to look out the window as well. The young doctor was bewitchingly beautiful and (Y/n) could not risk missing whatever Tamayo had to say.

“Before you commit yourself to this decision, you must first understand what I am.”

“Tamayo-sama!” Yushirou called out only for Tamayo to raise her hand to call for his silence.

“...What you are?” (Y/n) cocked their head to the side, confused. “You look like a normal person to me.”

“That’s what makes a lot of my kind so dangerous.” Tamayo sighed, her eyes still trained on the moon, “Monsters in human skin. Although there are many who wear their sin in grotesque and prideful ways.”

“I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but it’s not like all humans are great people either. Like how Ichiro’s parents left him here after he got sick and still haven’t wrote back like they promised. Even if you are different from humans as you are claiming, I can’t say that your any worse than the people I know. In fact, I’d say you’re better than a lot of the people I know.” (Y/n) tried to explain.

“I’ve done more evil and unforgivable deeds in my time on this earth than I could ever atone for. Even as I work to do better I know I can’t take back all the harm I’ve caused.” Tamayo shook her head and turned to (Y/n), cupping their cheek with a chilled hand, “I’ve aided in more atrocities than you have years on this planet. Do not let what you’ve seen of me in these short weeks fool you.”

“Okay, so you’re committed to believing your evil and irredeemable, is that right?” (Y/n) grasped the hand at their cheek, holding it in their own, “Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to believe that. I don’t know what you’ve done, but you’re obviously torn up about it. I can’t say someone who was pure evil would think twice about that.”

Tamayo pulled her hand away, cradling it close to her chest and turned back to the window with a slight tremble before whispering, “I’m a demon, (Y/n). I’ve turned Yushirou as well. We get by on blood these days but before then, I have killed and devoured many humans in five hundred years. Tell me now you don’t find me repulsive.”

“I don’t!” (Y/n) spoke immediately and resolutely, surprising the demon doctor and Yushirou to an extent with their resolve. “I don’t know who you were or what you were going through back then, but the Tamayo I know is kind enough to stop in some nowhere village to take care of sick people she doesn't even know while expecting nothing in return. I can’t say my word means very much in the grand scheme of things, but I don’t think you’re a monster. Monsters don’t mourn over their victims. I think you’re a good person Tamayo, worthy of my blood if you’ll just let me give it to you.”

The determined look on (Y/n)’s face made Tamayo feel as if she’d seen a specter from her past. She felt tempted to reach out again but held back, afraid of what, she wouldn’t allow herself to dwell. (Y/n) took her silence as a hesitation and insisted once more, bearing their arm up to the crook of their elbow.

“Take what you two need. Please don’t make me try to do it myself.”

Tamayo closed the distance between them quickly and held (Y/n)’s arms as if she was frightened of them doing something dangerous to themself.

“Yushirou, please get the phlebotomy kit from the travel bag.” Tamayo asked softly.

Yushirou nodded. Though he was not particularly fond of how close his master was to the human, he was glad she would finally be getting some sustenance.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” (Y/n) tried to joke to lighten the mood.

“You can revoke your offer whenever you wish. If you want us to leave you may ask us to do so without fear. I promise you.” Tamayo said, nothing but sincerity in her tone.

“I’ll keep it in mind, but I’ll do no such thing. Now, I hope you don’t think it rude of me for drinking some water myself first before I get you your... beverage. It was the whole reason I was walking through in the first place.” (Y/n) said as they walked across the kitchen and fetched some water.

Tamayo’s lips curled ever so slightly into a wisp of a smile aimed at (Y/n)’s back as they drank.

***

Now that (Y/n) knew they were sheltering a couple of demons, the strange behaviors they had noted prior made more sense and they took them in stride. They loved teasing Tamayo and Yushirou about the quality of their blood. Often making Tamayo flush faintly or earn a quick jab to the chest from Yushirou that was probably harder than he should be hitting a fragile human.

They kept the knowledge of their species to themself, not wanting to stress the sick or endanger Tamayo in some way. They had since learned that the strange papers that were littered around their house were actually some kind of warding seal that Yushirou could produce to keep their presence hidden to outsiders. If all that Tamayo had told (Y/n) about the realness of demons held true, they were surprised that they hadn’t encountered them sooner. Perhaps the constant scent of death and decay had kept them at bay, figuring there was no fresh flesh to tear into.

However, that was all changing now. Of the twenty-six remaining villagers, twenty-five were making marked improvements in their health and many could even walk about the the house without being too fatigued. (Y/n) had smiled so brightly when they saw Ichiro slide out of bed one morning that they had brought a hand to their mouth in delighted shock. They couldn’t remember the last time they had smiled so earnestly. Tamayo had surprised them, taking their hand away from their mouth.

“Let your joy shine through. The light you have to share could lift anyone’s spirits. I know it has lifted mine, so don’t hide please.” Tamayo said kindly.

“Right!” (Y/n) laughed sheepishly as heat crawled up their neck. They were sure Tamayo could hear the blood rushing through their system but thankfully she was polite enough not to comment on it.

“(Y/n)-san, can you take us outside?” One of the other young children asked.

“Mhm, only for a little bit though. Don’t want to over do it now, do we?”

“Tamayo-san, do you want to come?” Ichiro asked hopefully.

“Tamayo-san is very busy. But I’m sure she’ll be happy to read you a story later. Won’t that be nice?” (Y/n) smiled, saving Tamayo from having to come up with an excuse to avoid the brightness of the spring sun.

A small group gathered and slowly made their way outside, blinking hard against the bright sun stinging their eyes. Still, they felt overjoyed. Many never thought they’d make it through the winter so they took in the scenery before them with a range of emotions.

When they returned, (Y/n) helped everyone get settled again. As they did, they noticed Tamayo speaking quietly to the young woman in the corner cot. She had been fighting against the illness for a particularly long time and had been getting worse as of late. Keeping the interaction in mind, (Y/n) made their way to the kitchens to see if Yushirou needed any assistance with lunch. Now that everyone’s appetites were returning they had to produce a bit more than they had in the past.

When everyone was fed, (Y/n) had managed to find Tamayo alone. The doctor had found the old ceremonial tea room and enjoyed the space, so naturally (Y/n) had given her permission to do with it what she liked. (Y/n) knocked and announced themself, waiting for Tamayo to beckon them in before entering.

“(Y/n), does someone need something? Do you need something?” Tamayo asked, momentarily pausing in her herb crushing to look up at them.

“No, everything seems fine right now. Although Kotori does not appear to be doing well at all.” (Y/n) sighed, kneeling across from Tamayo. “...She’s going to die, isn’t she?”

“Yes.” Tamayo nodded solemnly. “I gave her medicine to dull her pain, but she’ll be dead before the next morning. There is nothing more I can do for her.”

“What do you tell them?” (Y/n) asked, “I mean, I’ve noticed how you talk to the dying ones before they pass. What do you say to someone who’s dying like that?”

“Many times they already know the end is near and have accepted it. Many are relieved to know the fighting and pain is almost over for them. What I offer them... is a second chance at life.”

(Y/n)’s eyes narrowed in concentration before shooting back open. “You offered to turn them into demons, didn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that dangerous?”

“It can be, only if you don’t have someone to look out for you and remind you who you are. I would be there for them as I was for Yushirou of course.” Tamayo assured, though she looked guilty. “You must think it cruel of me to offer this cursed existence.”

“Not at all. Many people fear death. I can especially understand it from a perspective of those who have yet to truly live. As long as they can remember their humanity, I don’t have a problem with it.” (Y/n) smiled, “I’m sure with you to guide them they would be just fine.”

Tamayo blushed and got back to work, grinding her herbs.

“Though I’m surprised, has no one taken up your offer since you got here?”

Tamayo shook her head, but a small smile pulled at her lips, “No. I’m content with their choices though. I think they were all very brave choosing to face the unknown.”

“Speaking of unknown,” (Y/n) mumbled between their fingers as they watched Tamayo carefully scoop her powder into a jar before moving on to the next herb. “Everyone will be more or less back to full health soon... are you still planning on leaving?”

“(Y/n), we’ve already discussed this,” Tamayo frowned, “I was never meant to stay here.”

“But you could.” (Y/n) said, an almost frantic waver in their voice, “you taught me a lot about medicine and how to be a physician, but you’ve quite literally have hundreds of years more experience than I do. Not to mention everyone here loves you, I love you—“ (Y/n) tried to shut themself up but it was too late. As made evident by the roundness of Tamayo’s eyes.

“Oh (Y/n), I’m sorry.” Tamayo said, the pestle held in between her fingers shook.

“Don’t be sorry, just, stay?” (Y/n) stuttered. “You can forget the last part if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“This just further proves that I mustn’t be here.” Tamayo put the pestle down and covered her eyes with her hands.

(Y/n)’s heart ached so much they felt compelled to rub the the spot in an attempt to soothe it. “Is the idea of me loving you really that awful?” They asked, a watery chuckle falling from their lips.

“(Y/n), it’s not that simple.” Tamayo tried to explain, but (Y/n) was already getting up and heading out of the room.

“It’s fine. I’ll try to stay out of your way. Stick around a bit longer for the sake of the village is all I ask.” (Y/n) didn’t wait for an answer. They went to their room and felt numb the rest of the day.

They were jostled out of their upset thoughts by the sound of pounding feet drawing closer and before they could react any further, Yushirou barged in practically foaming at the mouth. (Y/n) was not intimidated by the display however.

“Would it kill you to knock?”

“What have you done to upset Tamayo-sama?” He seethed, his voice a dangerous whisper.

“I’ve momentarily burdened her with my feelings. Don’t worry, once you get on the road again I’m sure she’ll feel much better. And you’ll have her all to yourself again, you must be thrilled.” (Y/n) bitterly informed.

“Don’t speak as if this is no large matter, you’ve left Tamayo-sama very distraught! What did you do? Why was she crying?”

“Crying?” (Y/n) asked, the information chilled them like a sudden torrential rainfall.

“Yes! Now what did you say to her you mongrel? Spit it out!” Yushirou growled, grabbing at the neck of (Y/n)’s clothing to shake them around a bit.

“I kinda... told her I loved her?”

“You what?!” Yushirou bellowed with rage and envy befitting a rival.

“I’m pretty sure you heard me the first time.” (Y/n) still had the gall to tease the demon knowing full well he could think of ten different ways to kill them with one hand tied behind his back.

“You idiot! Don’t you know what she’s been through? And you just think you can say such things and be on your merry way? Honestly, a goddess like her should not have to shed tears for such insolence!”

“What are you talking about?” (Y/n) grunted. The hold Yushirou had them in was very uncomfortable.

“If I tell you, you must never bring this up to Tamayo-sama, and you will apologize right away for your unsavory actions. Do you understand?”

“...yes.” (Y/n) nodded tentatively. Yushirou let go of them and they rubbed at their tender flesh where he had dug in.

“Tamayo-sama was ill once as well,” Yushirou began, observing the books (Y/n) had strewn around the room with a bit of disdain for the mess, “when she was human, she was desperately searching for a cure that would save her from an agonizing death. Then, as fate would have it, one day she met a man who promised her a cure for her ailment. What that man did to her turned her into a demon. It was true that Tamayo-sama was freed from the pains of her illness, but at the cost of everything she held dear. For you see, the man had not explained what she would become and with no way to control herself, she had killed and devoured her husband and children.” Yushirou crossed his arms tightly, “Do you understand now? Can you imagine what that must have been like?”

“I had no idea.” (Y/n) looked down at their feet.

“Yeah, then you come in and— argh! What are you still hanging around for? Go apologize already! You’ve already waited the daylight away, get moving!”

“Okay, I’m going! I’m going!” (Y/n) batted the angry demon away and jogged down the hall. They checked every room until they made it to the sick bay.

They asked around and quickly learned that Tamayo had gone out for a moonlit walk. They thanked the patients and quickly made their way out the door, shutting it tightly behind them.

They looked out from the engawa, scanning the scenery they saw no sign of the demon doctor. Deciding the nearby forest was their best bet, they hopped off of the engawa, bare feet against the grass and dirt, and jogged into the woods.

“Tamayo?” (Y/n) called for her, searching around for any clues to her whereabouts.

They traveled deeper still, teasing the edge of the deep woods where not even the sun could shine through on the brightest of days, much less the soft reflection of the moon. They heard a rustle.

“Tamayo?”

(Y/n) felt the hairs on the neck and arms scrape to attention. Their heart was beating frantically as the noise drew closer. It couldn’t be Tamayo, she surely would have called out in return.

Then, (Y/n) screamed.

They couldn’t remember how they had ended up on the ground. They blinked sluggishly up at the moon only for it to be blocked moments later by a blurry figure. (Y/n) swore they saw swirls of colorful flowers dancing at the corners of their vision. (Y/n) winced and gurgled. Why did their chest hurt so bad, what was this pressure?

“(Y/n), please, tell me what to do. What do you want me to do?” A muffled voice cried, confusing (Y/n).

They tried to take in another breath but it just felt like they were drowning. The voice sounded farther away, but no less pleading, mixed with far away screams and angry yells. Neither of which sounded like they belonged to the figure before them.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!”

‘For what?’ (Y/n) wondered, the pain had faded greatly. Whatever was happening, it was better than the pain. Perhaps they could go back to sleep now.

And so, they did.

***

When (Y/n) awoke, it was to the soft brushing of knuckles against their hair which was almost immediately drowned out by a ferocious hunger. They bent to snap at the fingers but something had kept them restrained. (Y/n) struggled and growled, the need to tear into flesh was, all too fittingly, consuming them.

“(Y/n), take a little at a time. Control yourself.” The voice beside them gently urged, presenting (Y/n) with a tube. They were highly uninterested at first until the further end of the tube was released from a pinched grip and allowed blood to flow down to their waiting mouth. It wasn’t fresh or hot, but it was better than nothing. After a few minutes of stopping and starting the thick slide of blood, the figure took the tube away all together, causing (Y/n) to growl and hiss with displeasure.

“You will need to learn to pace yourself, the sooner you do, the better.” The soft voice informed, not that (Y/n) really understood them.

(Y/n) wasn’t sure how long this had gone on, but they learned quickly not to bite the hand that feeds you, even if it was only aged blood on the menu.

Then slowly, they felt their brain working overtime. Apparently, there was a lot of information hiding under all of the bloodlust, and (Y/n) thought maybe, just maybe, there was a part of themself that detested those desires for human flesh and bone.

Then one night, it was like a fog had finally rolled out of (Y/n)’s mind and they struggled against their restraints for a whole other reason.

“How did I get here?” They yelled, breathing heavily though they had no real need to breathe at all anymore.

(Y/n) heard the soft patter of footsteps on the matted floor out in the hallway. They were honestly surprised they could hear such a slight noise to begin with.

The door slid open and Tamayo stood there, observing them nervously.

“Tamayo!” (Y/n) sighed in relief, “Where were you? All I remember is going out to look for you. How did I even—“

Tamayo was over in a flash, resting her forehead against (Y/n)’s with her hands cupping their cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” She sobbed, “I didn’t know what to do. You couldn’t speak for yourself. I should have just tried to make your passing quick and comfortable, but I was selfish. I’m so sorry.”

(Y/n) winced, thinking back hurt, but with that last ‘sorry’, they were back in the moonlit woods, bleeding out with Tamayo above them and Yushirou dismantling the low level demon that had jumped them.

(Y/n) leaned their forehead up to meet Tamayo’s more firmly since their arms and legs were still tightly bound.

“You don’t need to apologize, but I forgive you.” They rasped, drawing more tears from the demon doctor.

“I couldn’t lose you. Not again.”

“What do you mean?” (Y/n) asked, puzzled.

“Do you believe in reincarnation, (Y/n)?”

“I think it’s a nice idea, to be reborn as something new.” (Y/n) shrugged as best as they could.

“When I first came to this village, something pulled me to this old house, and it wasn’t the smell of death and ruin. Something inside me told me this was where I needed to be,” Tamayo ran her thumbs along (Y/n)’s cheekbones, “it all led me to you and though you are unique from any other person I have met in all my years roaming this earth, I feel like I knew you life times ago.”

“I feel like I felt something similar.” (Y/n) whispered, “Something about your eyes just felt so familiar. Do you think...”

“Yes and no,” Tamayo smiled sadly, “I believe my husband had a hand in bringing you to me. You may have the same soul but you are still you’re own person with unique experiences. I like seeing little reminders of him in you, but I’m also growing very fond of who you are on your own.”

“Then, why didn’t you tell me before?” (Y/n) asked.

“Because I was afraid and I had every right to be. I almost lost you again.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Tamayo raised her head to brush a kiss over (Y/n)’s forehead, “Forgiven.”

“...Do you think you could maybe untie me now or...?” (Y/n) asked with a goofy smile on their face.

“Oh, yes, I should do that. So long as you promise to tell me if you ever feel like you’re losing yourself.”

“You have my word, my lady.” (Y/n) replied, leaving Tamayo a bit flustered.

“So, how is everyone?” (Y/n) asked with a stretch, sitting up from the bed.

“They all left for new opportunities in the southeast. I apologize, but Yushirou and I thought it best if they believed you had died. A bear mauling.” Tamayo’s nose crinkled very subtly, but (Y/n) easily saw her displeasure.

“Don’t worry, I understand.” (Y/n) said with a melancholic smile. They leaned over hesitantly and kissed the faint wrinkle of Tamayo’s nose away, making the doctor fall forward to bury her head in (Y/n)’s collarbone.

“I worry that you’re too understanding.” Tamayo commented shyly, earning a laugh from (Y/n) and after another moment of stillness, (Y/n) spoke up again.

“Where is Yushirou anyway?”

“I’m in the kitchen and I can hear ever word you say you blood sucker!” Yushirou yelled, making the doctor and the new demon jump at the volume. “You better get travel ready soon, because you gobbled up the last of our blood supply!”

“Sorry!” (Y/n) called awkwardly, snorting only after Yushirou replied with a handful of sounds that made no sense, but got his grumpiness across.

“Don’t feel too bad. It’s a process Yushirou has endured as well. He was no less needy and feral than you were when I changed him.” Tamayo said.

“Needy and feral,” (Y/n) groaned, “I wish you didn’t have to see me like that.” Tamayo chuckled lightly, raising her head from (Y/n)’s chest to look into their eyes making their breath hitch.

“That hasn’t harmed my image of you at all,” Tamayo kissed their cheek, “you are still the sweet,” a kiss to the other cheek, “selfless,” a kiss to the nose, “person you were before this.”

(Y/n) tentatively raised their hands to cup Tamayo’s cheeks, noting the pale blue hue of their previously clear nails as they did so.

“Forgive me if this comes off as needy, but could I kiss you?” They asked, barely above a whisper.

“Please.” Tamayo responded quickly, pulling in (Y/n) from the back of their neck.

Soft lips glided together, occasionally leaving their target to land sweet pecks elsewhere before diving back in. When they finally drew apart, resting their foreheads together, Tamayo smiled brightly. It was a feeling she hadn’t had since she was human all those years ago.

[champion-prism]

So Fine

Leon x F!Reader, Smut

Requested by anon: Hi! Could I request a childhood friends to lovers smut fic with Leon? Like Raihan, Leon, Sonia and Y/n were all rivals, and both raihan and y/n become the dragon type gym leaders, and the whole group parties together and drinks together, and it’s on one of those nights that Leon finally makes a move. (Female reader. Also I absolutely adore your fics They’re so well written💗 keep it up bb) 

A/N: a’ight so the partying bit is nonexistent and the drinking is mentioned only bc I’ve never partied and I hope I never will. Drink responsibly y’all. Or don’t drink at all, that is also okay. Also, everyone is coherent and everything in the fic is consensual.

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: There’s NSFW up ahead!

The Wild Area is quiet, almost eerie in the silence of the night, broken by the soft sounds of childrens’ voices. 

 You and Leon sit around Charizard’s lit tail, warming yourselves before you head into your camp to turn in for the night. Leon is talking about how he wants to head in the direction of the Dusty Bowl- if he can find it.

  “Maybe I should try to get someplace that isn’t the Dusty Bowl,” he muses. “I’ll get lost and wind up there, instead.”

 You laugh as you ask him what he wants to go to the Dusty Bowl for.

  “I really want to catch a good Ground Type,” he explains. “Maybe a Tyranitar, or a Rhydon.”

 Your eyes light up at the mention of a Tyranitar.

 “Ooh, a Tyranitar?” you say. “Maybe we should go to the Dusty Bowl together, I’d love to look for a Tyranitar. One of the strongest dragon-types there is.”

 Leon shakes his head at you. 

 “Always with the dragon-types,” he says. “I have nothing against them, but shouldn’t you not be limiting yourself to a certain type? I mean...you might get KO’D in Ballonlea and Circhester.”

 You shake your head. 

 “I’m not going to have a full Dragon team yet,” you explain. “But eventually I’d like to phase over into one. I figured, if I can manage to get my hands on a Duraludon and a Charmander, that can take care of the Fairy and Ice weaknesses.”

 Leon scoots slightly closer to you. When he smiles, you can see his light blue braces. 

 “When I’m Champion,” he tells you, “I’ll get you all the rare Pokemon you want.”

   The rest of the night is spent teasing him lightly for his ambition, and Leon laughingly claiming you’ll be sorry for ever doubting him. He hesitates a bit when you both stand to go into your respective tents, and after a few seconds of bouncing on his heels, he moves forward, gives you a quick peck on the cheek, and practically runs into his tent. You giggle slightly as you call a good night to him. 

 He keeps his promise. When he becomes Champion, he proudly presents you with an egg- light orange in colour with red speckles. You thank him with a peck on the cheek and a giggle, and he throws his cap at you and runs away.

 Somehow, that’s how it stays. You become busy. You know Raihan is training hard to beat Leon, and you’re training hard to perfect your dragon type team. You travel all over Galar. You crawl along in the bushes and wade into ponds and spend god knows how many days in Axew’s Eye, raiding Dynamax dens to find a Noivern or a Sliggoo. When you hear from Leon, you tell him how well your now-evolved Charizard is doing.

 He travels abroad sometimes, brings you back exotic Dragon types. A Swablu from Hoenn, a Dratini from Kanto. He promises he’s going to get his hands on a Bagon someday, and you tell him not to go through too much trouble. He just gives you a peck on the cheek, tells you it’s no trouble, as long as it’s for you. 

 Chaste kisses on your cheek. One to say hello, one to say goodbye. A congratulatory kiss on the cheek when you become the Dragon type Gym Leader at sixteen (Raihan demands one, too- he gets a ghost kiss from Leon’s Dreepy). Leon’s cheeks don’t heat up when he does it, not anymore, nor is he flustered the way he was the first few times. You’re friends, affectionate friends who kiss each other on the cheek, glance at the other’s lips and look away, tuck loose strands of hair away from each other’s face, but keep yourself from playing with it. 

 You’re busy, you tell yourself. Much too busy to do anything than push away the schoolgirl crush you’ve always had on Leon, much too busy training and learning, much too busy to do anything but let the years pass, and here you are now, an adult, fully absorbed in the rhythm of daily life. 

 It’s one of your designated hangout nights. Leon’s in Hammerlocke to destroy Raihan in an exhibition match, and afterwards, you, Raihan, Sonia, and Leon head to one of the underground pubs, one of Raihan’s discoveries, and your personal favourite. Sonia is the most responsible, Raihan is the least- by the end of the night, she’s laughing at and guiding an obviously drunk Raihan into a taxi (non-Flying; can’t risk him puking down at people from the sky). You and Leon are moderate, lightly buzzed enough to feel good, not buzzed enough to be Raihan. You decide to just walk the empty streets, shoulders bumping into each others as you walk, the cold night air biting into your faces.

 Leon walks closer to you as he wraps an arm around your waist, sliding underneath the hem of your short top. You shiver and move closer to him, putting your own arm around him. The side of your face bumps against his shoulder and you giggle, both of you talking and wandering around Hammerlocke until you eventually reach the hotel where Leon is staying, at which point he looks up at it, and glances at you. 

  “It’s pretty cold out here,” he whispers. “Maybe we should just hang out inside.” 

He sways slightly, pressing his forehead against yours as his grip on your waist tightens. You nod your assent, and the two of you make your way up to his hotel room. 

  The atmosphere is different, here- Leon dims down all the lights before kicking his shoes off and collapsing on the bed, patting a spot beside him. You follow suit, resting against the headboard with your body angled towards Leon. His eyes rove up and down your form, coming up to meet your eyes and stare intently at you. 

 His eyes are lidded as he moves forward to give you a peck on the cheek. You giggle at him, and tip forward to return the favour, kissing the corner of his mouth. He says your name, close enough for you to feel his breath on your cheek. 

 He kisses your forehead, and he doesn’t pull away before pressing another kiss to your cheek, and all at once you’re aware of the heat between the two of you; you ignore it in favor of kissing his chin, and kissing his cheek again, and that’s fine, because friends can give each other kisses, right?

  You’re just relaxed from the drinking and acting silly. 

 Leon leans forward and places a light kiss to your earlobe. His head dips as he kisses your neck, then pulls back to look at you.

 He’s staring at your lips, eyes lidded- your heart pounds as his hand comes up to cup your cheek, and he angles your face towards his.

 “Leon,” you breathe. 

His lips are soft on yours, barely there as they brush past your lips. Your lips part ever so slightly as you lean towards him, and he kisses you- a soft, closed kiss where you move your lips gently against his.

 There are warning bells going off in your head- Leon is your friend. Your childhood friend. This is one of those friendships that is supposed to last forever, and you really don’t want a patch of awkwardness between you because you ended up making out one night. Or...doing something else you might regret.

Your hands come up to rest against his chest as he deepens the kiss, and all the warning bells go off. Suddenly, you don’t know anything beyond how good it feels when he kisses you, hot and open mouthed and much more... desperate... than before. One of his hands is at your waist, pulling you closer as he adjusts himself so that he’s over you on the bed. His mouth leaves yours as he begins to kiss your jaw, tongue swiping against your jawline. His hand moves under your shirt, fingers pressing into your sides as he kisses your mouth, your jaw, your neck. You moan slightly when you feel his teeth nip at the sweet spot on your neck, and his mouth moves to explore lower, a kiss pressed into your cleavage as he moves down to the swell of your breasts, tugging your collar down to expose more skin. 

 “Leon,” you say, breathing heavily. 

 Your voice seems to snap him out of it. He jerks his head back to look at you, golden eyes wide and searching as they look into yours. 

 “I’m- I-” he starts, sitting up. He swallows, and takes a deep breath.

 “Lee, I…” you sit up, too, reaching for his hands. “I don’t want for things to be awkward between us,” you say, ignoring every feral urge in you that tells you to pull him back over you and go wild. 

 “They won’t,” he says, breathing heavily as he stares at you, pupils dilated. “I like you,” he says,  moving forward to bury his face in your neck. 

 “I’ve liked you for years, now,” he mumbles, pressing a kiss on your skin. “And we don’t...we won’t do anything you don’t want to. I just need you to know I can’t keep it to myself anymore. I’m in- I...want you.”

  You press yourself closer to him, hands coming to clutch at his biceps. 

 “I like you, too, Lee,” you admit, whining slightly as he nips at your neck at your confession. He’s kissing your neck again, and you moan when you feel his tongue on you as his hands slip under the hem of your top, pressing into your skin just below your breasts.

 “Do you want to do this?” he asks between feverish kisses to your neck and shoulders. 

 “Ye-yes,” you manage, your head full of nothing but Leon right now- his scent, his warmth, the way his tongue feels on your skin, the way he’s leaving bites on your collarbone and neck, his hands pulling you closer- he presses into you so you lay back against the mattress, supporting himself with one arm as he tugs on your shirt with his other hand. 

 You pull your shirt off over your head, and watch as an almost feral expression takes over Leon’s face as he sees your clothed breasts. He’s on you in a second, one hand sliding underneath you to unhook your bra, the other tugging it off and throwing it to the side.

  “Fuck- yes,” he gasps, kissing your bare breasts and nipping gently at one, making you whimper. It makes heat pool in your stomach when he swears- Leon almost never swears, and you like this new side to him you’re seeing. 

 “I’ve wanted to see you like this forever,” he admits, squeezing a breast with one hand before his tongue flicks over your nipple. 

  “You have no idea,” he sucks your nipple into his mouth, tongue swishing around before he pulls away, “how much I’ve thought about this,” he comes up to press a hard kiss against your mouth “how long I’ve wanted you for,” he presses his hips against yours, making you moan.

 “Leon,” you moan out his name, bucking your hips against him, whining when he pulls back a bit and chuckles.

 “You look cute,” he tells you, an almost innocent smile on his face. “All flushed and warm, so needy for your Champion.”

 “Leon,” you gasp, hands tugging at his shirt, legs bending to wrap around his waist, trying to press into him.

  “Lee, don’t tease,” you whine, and he obliges, pulling his shirt over to his head, exposing his bare chest and stomach.

  He’s gorgeous. 

 You run your hands over his chest, making note of how he whines when your hands brush over his nipples. He presses his whole body against you, kissing your mouth, dipping his tongue in and moaning, clothed hips thrusting slightly against yours. 

  Your fingers hook into the waistband of his pants, tugging at them. He pulls back again, sitting on his calves as he tugs your pants off, tossing them away. You lie exposed in front of him in nothing but your dampening panties, and he gives you a smug look before kissing your stomach, going lower. 

 Your hands grip his hair as he begins to place butterfly kisses over your panties, teasingly biting the insides of your thighs from time to time. You plead with him for you don’t know what, an unbearable need for friction building in your intimates. 

  He darts his tongue out and begins to suck on your clothed clit, his face pressed between your legs. The wet spot on your panties grows, and you cry out for him as his thick fingers push your panties to a side and rub gently over your folds. 

 He pulls your panties off, eyes widening at the sight of your wet folds, swollen and puffy. 

  “Is this for me?” he asks, head tilted to a side as he looks up at you.

 You whimper and nod, bucking your hips.

 “Use your words, baby,” he says, nipping at your inner thigh. 

 “Leon- it’s for you. It’s all for you, I- ah!” you arch your back as he buries his whole face into your pussy, fingers rubbing at your clit as his tongue dips inside of you, moving around. 

  “Leon- oh, Lee,” you whisper, “I- ah- you feel so good-”

 You can feel your high building, your intimates pulsing as he eats you out like a starved man. When he pulls away, you nearly cry, desperately begging him to let you cum. 

  Your arousal shines on his mouth as his tongue darts out to lick his lips, wiping off his mouth with his hand. He smiles at you, that sweet smile of his, crawling over you as he kisses your body, one hand pushing down his pants. You glance down between your bodies to see his cock, dark red at the tip and leaking precum as he strokes it gently. 

  “I’m gonna make you feel good,’ he says, moving up to kiss your lips. “I love you,” he mumbles against your mouth, pressing another open kiss on you, “so much.”

 Your arms circle his neck as you pull him deeper into the kiss.

  “I love you, too,” you pull away, looking into his warm golden eyes. He kisses you again, your legs wrapping around his waist. His cock brushes gently against your wet pussy, and you press your fingers into the muscle of Leon’s back as he continues to kiss you softly and slowly.

 “You sure about this?” he asks, mouth against yours. 

 “Leon, please,” you say, your teeth lightly grazing his lip. “I need you.”

He presses his face against your shoulder as his cock pushes into your entrance, a strangled moan in your throat as you try to adjust to his size. He’s thick, and you mewl as he pushes in deeper, involuntarily clenching around him. 

 “Oh, fuck!” Leon gasps as you tighten around him, eyes wide and mouth gaping slightly.

 He takes his time pushing himself inside you, both giving you time to adjust to him, and giving himself time to savour you, the way your warm insides clench around him, the way you throb with your arousal, how tight and wet and perfect you are, even better than you were in his fantasies. He pulls back a little and pushes in deeper, kissing you all over your face as he rocks slowly into you, pace quickening when your nails dig into his back.

  “You’re- you’re so big, Lee,” you moan, heels pressing into his back. “I- oh- you feel so good.”

 You hear him breathe a laugh, and he licks over some of the marks he left on your throat. 

 He begins to move faster inside you, wet smacking sounds getting louder as he begins to lose himself to the pleasure. You arch your back and squeeze your eyes shut, moaning a chant of his name as he hits that perfect spot inside of you, your head going blank save for the building pleasure.

  His hand presses into your soft breast, and you drag your nails down his chest, making him cry out. You pinch and pull at his nipples, heat searing and your own pleasure spiking as his face contorts in bliss, groaning your name as you take his whole length.

  “I’m gonna- hah- ah! I’m gonna make you cum, baby, I’m-” his thrusts speed up, a hand going down to rub at your clit.

 You cry his name out louder as your high approaches, and he pounds into you, his gasps and moans mixing in with yours. He tells you you’re his, all his, that you belong to him, and you agree, throwing your head back as your pleasure peaks.

  You scratch down his back as the tension snaps, your orgasm washing over you as you pulse around his cock, his name on your lips. He rides you through your orgasm, wide eyed at the sight of your flushed face and chest, how brazenly lustful you look as you cum around him, pussy clenching tight. He pumps into you, and with one rough thrust, he presses his cock deep inside you and moans as he goes over the edge, rocking his hips against yours as he cums, spilling his seed deep inside you with a broken cry of your name.

 He almost collapses on you, face resting on your breast with his cock still twitching inside you as you both come down from your high. Leon’s breath fans over your heaving chest, and he slowly pushes himself up to pull out of you, keeping your legs apart to watch his cum drip out of your cunt. He almost wishes he could take a picture of you like this, looking so obscene, nipples perked and pussy leaking with his cum. 

  Your hands reach out to him as he gets off the bed, and he kisses you softly on the lips, telling you he’ll be right back to clean you up. He goes into the bathroom and emerges with a wet towel, cleaning you up as per his promise, tossing the towel away and snuggling into your naked body as you pepper soft kisses on each other, holding each other’s bare bodies tightly as sleep overtakes you.

[writingsbychlo]

let me down slow (02)

word count; 9652

summary; stiles once again ditches you, and mitch ditches his own plans to cheer you up.

notes; y’all had such amazing reactions to the first part, you picked up one every tiny little detail about their relationship that I put in, so I really hope you enjoy this part, and all the little things that make them up, too!

warnings; smut, thigh-riding, dry humping, slight spit play, that’s about it. 

In a bid to make up for the failed movie night last Friday, Stiles had absolutely promised to be there for this week’s. In a bid to ensure you believed him, he’d offered to buy the pizza himself this time, and was even letting you choose what it was that you both had. He’d loaded up movies and set up drinks and even dragged down the spare blankets and cushions from the upstairs cupboard to make the couch look more like a pit of pure comfort than a couch. 

It was impressive, actually, and he had sent you a series of pictures as he constructed it, promising that he was here to stay with you, his pyjama pants already on, and a raggy old shirt that he wouldn't dare go out in, and so you were making your way up the front-drive eagerly once again, the door flying open before you’d even had to knock. 

He was beaming at you, flannel flapping around him as he reached out to pull you into him, arms around your shoulders to squeeze you into his body and crush the air right out of your lungs in a breathless laugh as you hugged him back. Your arms circled his waist, hugging him just as tightly, before poking lightly at his sides in the spots that you knew he was ticklish in, making him yelp and try and jerk away from you, glaring falsely as you finally released him. Kicking the door shut behind yourself, you hung up the light coat you’d wrapped yourself in up in on the hooks fastened to the wall, kicking off your shoes and following him through into the rest of the house. 

He was practically bouncing with each step, spilling over with information about the movies he'd chosen, and speaking even faster than usual as he guided you through to the kitchen to hand you his phone, the pizza ordering app already pulled up on the screen, and Mitch was lurking around behind the counter, the fridge door open as he shuffled through the contents, leaning around the door and offering you a smile as he saw you. Stepping out and bringing the butter with him, he dropped it down onto the counter beside whatever it was he was going to make, pulling his phone from his back pocket and bringing up a recipe. 

The room looked even better in person, the lights had all been flicked off to give the large flatscreen a cinema-style appearance, drinking glasses and bottles of pop sitting out in preparation, condensation forming on the bottles from the coolness within, and a stack of movies beside the TV that the pair of you had spent all week choosing for this event.

The boy at your side was talking your ear off, and you slowly constructed an online shopping basket full of food that you could share between the two of you; stuffing yourselves full of the greasy fast food while hanging out with your best friend was exactly how everyone should spend their Friday nights, in your opinion.

You had even worn your comfiest clothes, an old pair of black legging and the biggest jumper you had, your face clear of makeup and a scrunchie on your wrist in case you decided to tie it up later, most likely when the food arrived. You handed the device back to Stiles so that he could make his own food choices, the boy following you through to the living room as you poured yourself a drink, his fingers tapping against his thigh and his teeth biting at his lower lip, and you watched him with a raised brow, but he was either ignoring your stare or he didn’t notice it, because he purposefully avoided your gaze.

“Why are you so jittery, Sti? Did you take your Adderall today?”

“Yes, I took my Adderall today, thank you very much.” He stuck his tongue out at you playfully, the scowl on his face having no heat to it as he moved past you to make his own drink, and he was twitching so much he could barely hold the bottle still. “I’m just excited.”

“For movie night?”

“Yes, for movie night.” He confirmed, but avoided your eye, and you let out a sigh, glancing up through the open doorway to try and catch Mitch’s eye, but he was also ensuring he wasn’t looking at you, busing himself with cutting overly precise cubes of butter and dropping them into the pan over the hob.

“No, you’re never this weird about movie night. You’re all anxious, I can practically smell it.” You took a seat beside him, his body facing the TV as yours faced him, and he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, lips flicking up in a small smile. “Just tell me what’s up, we can figure it out together.”

“Nothing! I promise nothing is up. Nothing that needs figuring out, or anything like that. Y’know, just got a call before but it’s totally fine now, nothing bad! I can turn my phone off and we can watch movies and we will have an awesome night! Promise!” His words spilt out from his mouth so quickly that you didn’t even have a chance to properly process them, but you caught a few keywords, enough to make your heart sink in your chest as you leaned back into the cushions, and the roles were reversed. 

Now, you were avoiding his eye, and he was trying his best to reassure you that it was okay, but everything about his twitchy behaviour and erratically strung together sentences let you know that it was not okay. “Who called, Stiles?”

“Nobody important.”

“Who?”

He sighed, and you finally met his gaze, a slightly saddened look on his face as he shrugged a little. “Lyds.”

You felt your heart clench a little in your chest, but offered him a little smile instead, shrugging your shoulders. “What did she need?”

“She had an argument with Jackson, and wanted some company and someone to talk to, but I told her I was busy tonight, and that I’d call her back later, or tomorrow morning, so don’t even worry about it, w-”

“You should go.” With a sigh, you cut him off, placing your hand over the top of his and squeezing in comfort, both for him and yourself.

“Really?”

“Yeah, she needs you more than I do. We’ll do a movie night another night, or whatever.” You waved your hand, dismissing it like it wasn’t crushing you to say the words to him, and like it didn’t break you a little more at the way his face lit up like he’d felt trapped being here with you, like he was gaining freedom. “You should totally go, it’s fine.”

He jumped up to his feet, a wide smile on his face as he looked at you, mumbling his ‘thank-yous’ under his breath as he wiped sweaty palms on his pyjama bottoms, before looking down at himself and racing away upstairs to get changed. Your body slumped down into the couch, and the shuffling behind you caught your attention, your head turning so that you could look at the man who was leaning against the post in the doorway, a look on his face that you couldn't decipher. 

“Why did you do that?” He nodded his head towards the stairs his brother had disappeared up only seconds prior, the familiar crashes and thumps of his presence sounding out as you shrugged.

“I want him to want to be here with me. You should have seen how much happier he looked when I told him he could go. I didn’t want him to have to stay when he’d rather be somewhere else.” You stood up yourself, wrapping your arms a little tighter around yourself as he came back down the stairs. He had a more presentable outfit on, the usual khakis and flannel shirt buttoned up, running a hand through his hair as the other jingled his car keys.

“You’re the best, thank you so much.” He pressed a kiss to your cheek, before making his way to the front door in a dizzying flurry of movement. “We will have a movie night, I promise!”

With that, the door was slamming shut, the jeep starting up only seconds later, and you gaped at the spot he’d been in, leaving you in a tense silence with Mitch, who shuffled from one foot to the other, before his eyes finally met yours. You gave him a watery smile, feeling the tears well up in your eyes, and his whole body seemed to deflate, before he was crossing the room and pulling you into his arms before the first cry had even left your mouth, muffling it as he let you press your face into his shoulder.

One of his hands came up to cup the back of your head, fingers slipping into your hair to rub the pads over your scalp soothingly, his cheek pressing to the top of your head as the other arm wrapped securely around your waist, holding you to him as tightly as he possibly could with your hands crushed between your bodies, your fingers gripping at the cotton of his shirt and your eyes squeezing shut, your body shaking with each wracking sob you tried to suppress. He shushed you quietly, rubbing his hand up and down you back carefully and playing with your hair, distracting you enough for you to calm the shaking of your body and the racing of your heart. 

“He didn’t even offer me a ride home!”

“I know, kitten.” He pressed a kiss to your temple, shifting you when your knees buckled a little, letting you lean on him further, his hand slipping down to grip at your hips and take the weight of your body to keep you standing.

“He didn’t care! He was gone so fast, he didn’t even ask me what I was going to do! He didn’t even try and fight it, or insist he should stay! He just.. just left!” It only made you cry harder, pressing into him further and shifting to press your face into his neck, that patch of his shirt damp from your tears, but you smoothed out your fingers until your hands were sitting flat on his chest, using the steady thump of his own heart under your hand to calm yourself. 

“I know, I know.” He mumbled, shushing you lowly on a hum, and holding you without question until you detached yourself from him. 

Your cheeks were stinging and sore, eyes red and throat raw, but he just cupped your face, smoothing his thumbs over the irritated and splotchy patches. You felt weak, your body felt like it was sagging in on itself, and so you stepped away, wiping at your eyes and sitting back down on the couch, laying out along the length of it and letting out a long and slow sigh. He moved across the room, inspecting the DVD stack you’d built with your friend. 

“You know, I for one have never seen-” He picked up the one on the top, his face scrunching up a little as he looked at it, before giving you a deadpan look with a hint of amusement, and dropping it back into the stack. “I have seen Star Wars, it would be impossible not to, being related to Stiles.”

He shuffled through them, grinning up at you when he heard you let out a soft laugh at his words, winking in your direction. “I think Batman is in there, too, and one of the Avenges movies.”

“Well, I’ve seen all of those, but I will happily rewatch them with you.” He came to stand beside you, and you propped yourself up on your hands, hopefulness once again flooding your veins as he spoke. “Or we can just go on Netflix, and find something neither of us has ever seen before.”

“Are you asking me if I want to Netflix and chill with you, Mitch?”

He smirked at your words, leaning in close enough for you to press your foreheads together, a darker chuckle sounding from him. “We can get to that later, kitten.” His lips brushed the tip of your nose as he pulled back. “You were promised a movie night, and you’re gonna’ get one. I made some popcorn, and we can eat all the snacks Stiles bought as revenge. Sound good?”

“Sounds really good, actually.” You watched him for a second, searching his eyes and his face for a sign that he was going to leave you too, like he was going to ditch you just as Stiles had, but he held his hands out to you to pull you back up to your feet. “You don’t have anything else to do on a Friday night?”

“I was going to facetime some friends from college later, but nothing important, no. Besides, a movie night would be fun, it’s been a while since I had time to binge-watch anything, and I have a few series’ in mind that we could try.” He inched the pair of you to the kitchen, nodding his head in the direction of the pan on the stove. “Why don’t you get our popcorn sorted and load up whatever you want to watch, and I’ll go put something more comfortable than jeans on, and we can watch?”

“Cool.”

He shook his head, a fond laugh forming on his lips as he watched you back away from him, before you were spinning on your heel, and listening to him set off up the stairs, searching the cupboards for a bowl big enough to put it all in. Locating the blue patterned one at the very back, you produced it with a proud huff and removed the cover from the pan, salty and buttery steam filling up into the air as you tipped the heated kernels into the dish.

Taking it with you, you set off into the living room, bringing a spare glass for Mitch to use and swapping it with the still full and fizzing drink Stiles had made for himself, rolling your eyes at the waste as it was tipped down the sink and left abandoned in the kitchen. You had barely finished it all up before the man was padding back into the room, heat crawling at your cheeks as you looked at him, scoffing a little under your breath.

“You don’t have a shirt on.”

“Is that a problem?” He was offering you a smirk like he already knew the answer to your question, and so you didn’t bother replying. Mitch collapsed back on the couch, stretched out along the entire length as you grabbed the remotes, turning on the TV, and perching yourself on the edge of the cushion mound that Stiles had built for the night as you waited for the device to power up so you could log into the app. “Are you going to sit down there all night? ‘Cause you’re blocking half the screen.” 

He had the bowl of popcorn tucked under his arm when you turned to glare at him, and he was half laying down, half sitting up, but smirking widely and pushing a handful of the salty treat into his mouth, and you made your way over to him, settling comfortably into his warmth, and sitting up with your legs crossed, sorting through the accounts to select Mitch’s, and he hummed happily as you did, chewing his food and wrapping an arm around your waist. 

You were adjusted, pulled back into his body as he moved the bowl to sit in front of you, and you scrolled through the things he had added to his list as he moved behind you, pouring himself a drink and moving both yours and his to within reaching distance of your position, pulling the snacks over too and setting them up around you bodies until it was a clear little space that the two of you were inhabiting, everything within arms reach.

“You want to watch That 70’s Show?”

“Yeah, thought it looked pretty funny but Katrina didn’t want to, so we watched some British thing instead.” You hummed clicking it open and snuggling down a little, getting yourself comfortable and reaching for the popcorn. 

“It's fucking hilarious, you’re going to love it.”

It took you two whole episodes for you to finish your snacks, and a third for you to actually start feeling better. Cuddling wasn’t exactly something you were used to. Sure, you had very tactile friends, but cuddling was new to you. Mitch seemed entirely settled with it, he hadn't shifted once, his arm slung over your waist and his chin sitting on your shoulder as he watched the screen, and yet he only ever smirked at your mumbled apologies each time you shifted, or needed to change positions, and he happily obliged, lifting his arm for you to move before settling down.

The popcorn bowl was empty, and so were all the snack wrappers, and the bottles of pop were on their way out too, and by the end of the fourth little episode, you were beginning to feel better. There was just something about Michael Kelso’s innate and adorable stupidity that lifted your mood no matter what.

You were actually comfortable now, and feeling more settled, your back pressed up to his chest and the warmth of his body washing over you, his fingers resting on your stomach, drawing patterns absentmindedly, and you were certain that if you were allowed to cuddle with your fuck buddy, then you could hold his hand. Settling your hand over the top of his, his motions paused for a second, before he was lifting his hand out from under your own and you panicked for a moment, stiffening only slightly, before his hand closed over the top of yours and laced your fingers together, thumb rubbing at your hand as he snorted at yet another joke on-screen.

“Have you ever got high?”

He twisted to look at you, letting you roll onto your back to peer up at him, your connected hands now sitting up above you as your fingers played together, and his brows raised a little, your attention on the screen gone as you focused on one another instead, leaving the gang to smoke in Eric Foreman's basement. “Yeah.”

“Really?”

His neutral expression pulled up into a sly grin, his teeth flashed to you as he nodded, licking over his lips. “Yeah, kind of like a college rite of passage, I guess. I’m not really a fan, I don’t like how it makes me feel afterwards.”

“What’s it like?”

He shrugged, moving to lean over you a little, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times as he tried to work out how to answer you. “It’s different for everyone, I think, but for me I didn’t really feel all that different when I smoked, just more relaxed, I guess? But when I came down, I always really hit rock bottom. Just got depressed, and started overthinking and feeling shitty, so I’d throw myself into my studies and workout for a couple of hours to try and make that feeling go away, which meant I had a headache and I was all sore in the morning, and tired as fuck, and I still felt like shit.”

“That sounds like it fucking sucks.”

“Eh, everyone is different.” He lay down a little more, taking his hand from your own when you rolled over to face him, and he settled it back over your waist, his hand sitting on your lower back now. “I think it would work for some people, like Stiles, for example. He'd probably do great from it, but there’s no way anyone around here is going to sell weed to the Sheriff’s kid, so he would have to wait to get to college.”

You snorted, thinking about your best friend being stoned out of his head, and still being the same clumsy mess he was now.

“What makes you ask?”

“Nothing really, I was just thinking about it because it was on the screen.” You glanced back to the screen, watching for a second as a few of the characters moved around, and you tried to pick back up on the plot you’d missed, your lips flicking up at the sides with one of the jokes, but you inevitably felt your gaze going back to Mitch. His eyes were glued on the screen once again, the reflections in the dark making the honey brown colour look as though it was speckled with red, blues, and greens, all the colours that came up.

He was similar in his looks to his brother, the moles and the cute nose and the eyes, but he was also entirely different in a way that made them seem like opposites. Mitch had longer hair, in a style that you knew would look wrong on Stiles but just looked so right on him, and he had a jaw covered in dark smatterings of stubble that were fully formed, not patchy and childlike but thick and grown, and his features were sharper.

The stress of being the eldest son of the sheriff, and watching his mother die, and trying to care for a hyperactive nuisance like Stiles during his teenage years had taken a toll on him, but he was only twenty and already seemed like he’d seen and experienced everything there was in the world, and he wore that knowledge and wisdom like a crown.

“Stop staring at me, you weirdo.”

You scoffed out a little laugh under your breath, and he glanced down at you as you rested a hand on his cheek, pulling his attention away from the screen and down to you as his mouth slotted against your own with perfect accuracy. His fingers tightened on your waist as he sighed into your mouth, pressing his lips to yours in slow movements that were just as relaxed as you were finally feeling.

There was no rush, or tension, and you certainly didn’t feel the need to speed anything along. Stiles would be out for hours yet with Lydia, and the sheriff was on yet another night shift, and so you didn’t have to feel anything but pure bliss as Mitch rolled you both onto your sides, pulling one of your legs up onto his hips as you settled one hand on his shoulder and the other into his hair, nails scraping at his scalp the same soothing way he’d done for you only a couple of hours prior.

You could feel the press of his stubble into your skin, and the slight roughness of his lips against your smooth ones, and the way your skin tingled each time he tipped his head and moved his mouth in a different direction, the drag of his lips against yours in an entirely new way sending sparks along your body. Wrapping a foot around his leg, you pulled your body in a little closer to him, the arm that had been sitting on your waist was slipping down further and further, until he was taking a handful of your ass and squeezing so roughly you let out a sound between a squeak and a moan into his mouth.

You felt the way he reacted to the sound, the way he pushed in a little closer to you, and took the chance at the parting of your lips to deepen the kisses, your tongues tangling as innocent kisses became a needy makeout, your fingers tightening into fistfuls of his hair instead of soothing through the locks, your hips rolling in time or meet his as you ground down onto his thigh when he lifted it to press better between your legs.

Your calm heart rate had shot through the roof, each time you pulled back from desperate breaths before you were diving back into one another's mouths, tongues tangling visibly between your mouths as he growled a little every time you pressed further into him, and you whimpered each time he tilted his leg a little, sending a burst of energy and pleasure along your nerves, until you could feel it all the way in the tips of your fingers and toes.

When the burn for oxygen between gasping breaths became too much, you pulled back, biting on your slightly swollen lower lip as you rocked your body down against his leg, the tent in his pants pressing into your hips each time he moved, and you felt like the heat in the room was getting way too high to be allowed, choosing instead to push him back until he was laying on his back, his eyes wide as he watched you move, peeling your jumper up over your head and throwing it away to the side, taking a seat across his lap instead of thigh. Pressing your core down against his, the layers of fabric did nothing to dull the pleasure either of you felt from the pressure, sounds of bliss let out in unison, harmonising in the air.

“Fuck, kitten.”

You grinned, thriving on the fact that you could make the man below you feel so good, and you reached behind yourself to unclip the loose bra you’d put on, tossing that away too. You felt yourself shake, a tremor running along your spine from the look he gave you as your breasts fell free before his eyes, and the thought flashed across your mind that this was the first time he’d ever actually seen your tits, without a shirt or bra in the way.

Propping himself up on his hands, he dipped his head to take one of your nipples between his lips, holding himself firm as you rocked your bodies together, grinding yourself down onto his cock as he grew to be solid beneath you. Your own hands were on his shoulders, one coming up to cup the back of his head as you sobbed out at the way his mouth felt as he lapped at your tits, sucking darkening marks into the plump flesh and teasing the taut buds with his tongue and teeth.

The electricity coursing through your body was delectable, and when he was satisfied that he’d left your chest in enough of a state, for now, he tipped his head up to find your lips once again.

“Jesus, sweetheart, you’re going to be the death of me.”

Letting his body collapse back onto the couch, you followed after him, propping yourself up above him with hands on the cushions either side of his head, his legs coming up to bend behind you to give him the ability to raise his hips up to meet you with each thrust, and you whimpered as his covered cock collided with your clit perfectly each time. “Oh, fucking hell, Mitch!”

He grinned, his hands coming up to find your waist and guide you in rotating your hips each time he pushed up into you, the drag of material over you sodden core making a cry leave you as you shot over into a climax just from the stimulation, and he continued to ride you through it, until you were spent and trembling above him, and his legs dropped down as he allowed you to fall into his lap, hands bunched up in the blankets beside his body as you came down from your high.

“You know, it occurs to me, you’re too old to be dry humping on a couch like a highschooler. I can get away with it for another few weeks, at least until graduation.”

You were breathless and your voice was unsteady, but he caught your words and let out a laugh upon processing them, his eyes sparkling as you looked up to him, and he shook his head fondly, leaning up to press a kiss to your lips. You returned it, pressing a few pecks to his lips, before pushing yourself up on shaky arms, and letting out a yelp when you accidentally dragged you overstimulated clit across his still prominent erection, which earned you a cheeky smirk from the man below you as he folded his arms under his head, making his arms and chest flex as a by-product.

Your mouth went dry at the sight, and you ran your fingers lightly over the prominent veins in his forearms, all the way up to where they disappeared at his biceps, before you were travelling along to his chest, digging your nails in a little, and he hissed at the contact, biting down on his lip, the honey colour switching to a darker whiskey shade, pupils widening, and the background noise around you both faded away leaving just the two of you there, in your own little world. “I want to try something.”

“Oh, you do?” He teased, and you rolled your eyes a little, his hands smoothing along your arms to sit on your wrist, wrapping around them gently as he urged you on. “What might that be?”

“I want to suck your cock.”

The breath was forced from his lungs as he stared up at you, wide eyes and parted lips, before he was letting out a string of curses under his breath. “You’ve never done that before?”

“My experiences before you are limited to pretty much how our first time went.”

“Sloppy, drunk sex that was pretty subpar, all things considered?” You nodded in response, and he hummed under his breath. He seemed to be thinking about it for a minute, his brows furrowing, before he was bringing up a hand to cup your jaw and running his thumb over your lips, slipping it into your mouth carefully and letting you suck on the digit as he mulled it over. “I got off the other night just thinking about fucking your pretty little mouth, you know.”

“You did?”

Your words were muffled around the finger in your mouth, and he pressed the pad of his thumb into you tongue a little, you lips sealing around the digits once again, sucking it lightly and swirling the wet article to soak his skin, lapping and teasing as his eyes glossed over and went half-lidded. “Yeah, I did. You want me to tell you about it?”

You nodded around the digit, and he grinned up at you lazily, pulling out his thumb, and replacing it with two long fingers instead, letting out a deep sound of satisfaction when you took them both without complaint.

“I was thinking about your lips, and your eyes. You have this cute little innocent look in your eyes but I get to know that you have a dirty mouth. I thought about you licking at my cock, before taking it all.” You squeezed your legs a little around him on an instinctual wish to clamp your thighs together, and his other hand came to sit on your thigh, squeezing it roughly as he acknowledged the effect his words had on you. “Thought about letting you choke on my cock, until there were tears in your eyes, and you were swallowing everything I gave you, like the good girl I know you can be. You’d be good for me, wouldn't you, kitten?”

He pulled out wet fingers from your mouth, and you took a raspy breath, strings of saliva snapping as he pulled the digits away from your mouth, and you nodded at him, leaning down closer to him, pressing kisses to his lips and cheeks, along his jaw until you were sucking at the base of his neck, and he was stretching his head back for you. “I’d be so good for you, I promise.”

“I know you would.” He stretched the skin out a little further, and you licked at the patch you’d been working on, the salty taste of his skin much like that of the popcorn taste that had lingered in his mouth during your kisses, and you sealed your lips around that particular spot, teasing it with your lips and teeth. “You can leave a mark, I don’t mind. Mark me as yours, kitten, that’s okay.”

You let out a muffled sound against his skin as he gave you permission for the action you’d been so wanting to complete, and he let out a shaky breath as you worked until the skin was flourishing with angry red and splotching with hints of a darker colour already.

“Gonna’ suck my cock, sweetheart?”

“Yeah.. yeah I am.” You whispered, pressing wet kisses along his skin as you lower yourself down along his body, the same way he had done when he’d gone down on you a few days before, and he shuffled his hips up when you tapped at his hips, the pants already sitting low were tugged down to his thighs swiftly, taking his boxers too, and his cock sprang up before your face, dribbling precum in shiny trails along his throbbing flesh, a breathy noise leaving him as he was freed from the confines of his underwear.

One hand came down to lace into your hair, quickly followed by the second as he pulled the strands up and into a makeshift ponytail, trying to let you take it at your own pace, despite the way his thighs and fingers were twitching to take control. You pulled back, just enough to reach your wrist to try and find your scrunchie, but found both arms bare, and the feel of fabric weaving into your hair, Mitch navigating the bundle easily into the elastic, and you gaped at his dark smirk, never even having known when he’d taken the item from you.

“Damn, Mitch..”

“I’m smooth like that.” He replied on a mumble, voice shaking just a little, before his eyes were fluttering shut, his head resting back in the pillows of the couch behind him. Leaning in, you dragged your tongue along his length, lapping at the head and clearing the arousal that had already gathered at the tip, and he gripped at the bundle of hair he had created, letting out a deep and throaty sound that vaguely resembled your name as you sealed your lips around his tip.

His thighs clenched, body shaking a little as you shifted, giving yourself a moment to grow accustomed to the heavy weight of his cock sitting on your tongue, before you were once again moving. He was holding himself back surprisingly well, fingers pulling at your hair as he began to guide your head in gentle bobs, praises falling from his lips under his breath, confirming you in your movements and giving you confidence in what you were doing.

Hollowing your cheeks a little, he released one hand from your head, throwing it up to grip the cushion beside his face with a cry, his entire body shaking as you sunk as far down as you could, before you were gagging, pulling back a little bit, not missing the high-pitched noise he made. Glancing up at him through your lashes, you found his head tipped back into the pillows, a thin layer of sweat covering his skin. He looked incredible, red and swollen lips parted as he panted for breath, letting you take him apart with your mouth - even if you didn’t know what you were doing all that well - and his hips bucking occasionally to chase you when you pulled back to focus on his tip in a way that made his core clench so tight you could see the firmness of the rigid muscles underneath.

Pulling away from his cock, you use the slick mixture of spit and precum that was covering his skin to pump him quickly, and he fucked up into your hand, grunting each time you swiped your thumb under or across the head, finding all the sensitive patches that drove him wild. You were pressing kisses to him, sucking another hickie into the skin of his hip when he pulled you up, uncaring of the wet marks left on his skin as he used his tight grip on a handful of your hair to navigate you up until he could press his mouth to your own in a frenzied kiss.

It was a clash of tongues and teeth, and you were gasping into his mouth for air every time, it felt like every hot kiss he gave you was sucking the air straight from your lungs, you head spinning with the urgency of it as you pressed back into him, kissing him with everything you had until the two of you were forced apart, panting and pressing your foreheads together.

“What’s wrong? No good?”

“No, you were fucking incredible, sweetheart. If you didn’t stop, I definitely would have cum, and I would very much like to be inside of you when I cum tonight.” He nudged the tip of his nose against your own, smiling happily when you let out a sweet whisper of his name, before you were nodding, and pecking his lips a couple of times quickly. “You want that?”

“Yeah, I do. I really do.”

“Mm, me too.” He pushed you up a little, the cool air sweeping in between you as your bodies separated momentarily like a refreshing wake up, your mind clearing a little, and you caught sight of yourself in the reflection of the TV that had turned itself off due to inactivity a while ago, and you looked as thoroughly fucked up as he did, your lips twisting in a subtle grin at the sight of you both. “Condom. We need a condom.”

“Shit, right, want me to get it?”

“You remember where they are?” You nodded, hopping up from the couch as he grinned, placing a loud slap to your ass as you went, and you glowered over your shoulder.

“Stop slapping my ass every time I walk away from you!”

“Fine, I’ll start slapping your ass when you’re here.” He retorted, and you stuck your tongue out at him, rubbing lightly at the stinging patch as you made your way up the stairs, his laugh fading into the background. Reaching his room, you noted the way it was still clean and tidy, the same way it had been, the covers a little messy where he’d been sitting on them earlier, but still entirely neater and more coordinated than Stiles’. Opening the drawer, you tipped one out, swiping up the blue foil packet, before making you way back down to the man waiting for you.

He was pumping his cock slowly when you reached the room, pants discarded to leave him entirely naked. His head was tilted back to lay along the back of the couch, and he smirked at you, eyes locked with yours as he picked up the pace of his hand moving along his shaft, dragging his gaze along your body as you moved towards him, before fixing his sights on the way your tits bounced with each step.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.”

“Shut up, you sweet talker.” He simply flashed white teeth at you in a smile, reaching out for the packet in your hand and tearing the top off with his teeth, rolling the condom onto his length in a way that should not have been as attractive as it was, but maybe it wasn’t the action, but simply the man that had done it. Each time he moved his fist up or down his cock, his fingers would flex, his wrist moving and the veins in his arm standing out as his muscles flexed with the simple moves, and yet it had your mouth dry and mind empty just watching him.

“On your knees, hands on the back of the couch. You better hold on, kitten, because I want to hear you screaming my name, tonight.”

“Do you even hear yourself sometimes? Do you know how fucking hot you are, or does that just happen?” You muttered, shaking your head at him despite his smile, and you wiggled your leggings and panties down your legs, dropping them to the floor before passing him by to climb onto the couch.

“It just happens when I’m around pretty girls who are ready to fuck.” You didn’t bother responding, but leaned over a little more, shaking your ass at him in order to tempt him forwards after you’d parted your knees, and he ran two fingers through your folds teasingly, letting out a satisfied and aroused noise as he felt the wetness that had accumulated there. “Fuck, you’re dripping for me.”

“Yeah, well, it just happens when I’m around hot guys who are ready to fuck.”

Your retort was met with a loud slap to your ass, the skin flaming up with a delicious burn, a large hand soothing the mark as he dragged his teeth over your shoulder in a light bite, his hair tickling your cheek as you turned to look back at him. “I like it when you get a little bit sassy with me, kitten. Makes it so much more fun.”

“It would be even more fun if you were fucking me. Like, now.” You pleaded, being met with an equal spank on the other side, and you pushed back into the touch happily as the slight pain fuelled on your pleasure, feeling the head of his cock swirl through your wetness, gathering it up before he could line up at your core.

Taking your ponytail back in his hand, he pulled your head back, setting his other hand on your hip and slamming into you without hesitation, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you cried out his name, shuddering all over at the feeling of suddenly being so full and stretched out once again.

“Fucking you was one of the best decisions I ever made, I swear to God..” You were barely even aware of the ramblings you were letting out as he laughed into your ear, beginning to set a steady and quick pace, each thrust seeming to hit deeper than the last. Within only minutes, you were reduced to a sobbing mess of curse words and his name, your entire body flushed with heat and your eyes flashing with colour as you tried to stay even somewhat sentient with the way he was sending you into the clouds.

His hips were colliding with you each time, your thighs up to your ass burning with each powerful collision, the sound of skin slapping again skin filling the room, and you parted your legs even further, allowing him to sink even deeper within you, making both of you shake and falter at the way it felt to entirely wrapped up in each other, everything else becoming irrelevant. Slipping his hands around to your front, he took your tits in each of a large palm, the rub of calloused hands against your nipples making every sound you made become illegible, a mess of mumbles and begs for only him to hear as he took you to places you never thought you’d get to experience.

You were squeezing him each time, clenching around his cock and drawing him back in, and despite the rubber between you, you could feel every throb he made within your walls, and every time he twitched when you rolled certain muscles focusing on the movements you could make that made his pace falter or a pornographic noise fall from him that drove you wild. You were pushing back to meet his thrusts, tears welling up in your eyes as he pushed against your g-spot with every movement, pressing the patch solidly, the head of his cock sliding over it on repeat each time and the stimulation was building up to be more than you could handle, but you were in far too deep to be able to back up, you didn’t want to, you just wanted to lose yourself in the way it felt to be with him.

“Can feel you, so tight and wet ‘round me. You’re perfect, fucking incredible. I need you to cum for me, okay? Need to feel you cum.”

You nodded, your voice to unreliable to even speak, but he pulled you up until your back was to his chest, the angle changing as you became even tighter around him and he hissed under his breath, hot breaths washing over your cheek with every pant he made, and you gripped at the hand that slipped up to sit around your neck, needing the support as the other went down to flick at the button between your legs in rough strokes that made your entire body jump and quiver at the stimulation, the screams he had wanted tearing from your lips as you crashed into a mindblowing orgasm, eyes lining with tears and voice cracking.

He followed behind you by only seconds, his body going rigid as he came, before he was collapsing over your back, trying to hold himself up with hands on the edge of the couch, before he was pulling out of you and letting the both of you collapse into a heap of sweaty and spent bodies on the couch. “Christ, that was fucking incredible.”

You threw a tired arm up over your face and hummed your agreement on a silent voice, wiping at the wetness that had come onto your cheeks once again, a tired smile on your face as you sniffed a little wiped your face clean, and you heard him shuffling around, pulling off the condom and wrapping it in a pile of tissues from the box, before he was leaning over you, nimble fingers pulling your hand for your eyes.

“Are you crying?”

“Guess you’re just that good.” You joked, and he used his own fingers to wipe away the tears, but you could see the pride that was filling him at the claim, his chest puffing up and his wide smirk widening, eyes sparkling with cheek.

“Well, I would definitely rather have you crying over my dick than over being ditched, so I think tonight was a huge success.”

You slapped an idle hand at his chest, leaving it laying there, too tired to move it as you rolled over and pressed yourself into his side, and he placed his hand on top of yours, letting you cuddle into the side of him and lifting his head so you could tuck your face into his neck. “Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.”

“I mean, it was really pretty great for us both, so no thanks neede-”

“No, I meant movie night. Thanks for hanging out with me. I knew it was going to end in sex anyway, but thanks for hanging out with me before that, it made me feel better. A little less lonely, y’know?” He squeezed you in silent acknowledgement, but never said anything in reply, and you weren’t sure whether your walls were down because you’d just had your brains fucked out, or whether it was simply how safe and assured you felt when with him, but you were opening your mouth and letting the words pour out before you even had a chance to stop them; “I feel lonely a lot, lately. It’s hard when all of your friends know about your feelings towards one of the others, and they know it’s never going to work out. I know it’s never going to work out, but it doesn’t stop it hurting, and I try not to hang out with Stiles and Lydia together a lot, but I can’t make them choose between me or them, that’s ridiculous, so I don’t see them as much anymore.”

He twisted to look at you, raising a hand to tuck some loose hair that had fallen from your ponytail away behind your ear, before nodding his head and swallowing thickly. “I came home from college because all my friends became friends with Katrina, and her friends, and it became too painful to see all of them when all they did was remind me of her, but now I feel alone.”

“I’ve never told anyone that before.” You confessed, and he smiled a little, his eyes sliding closed as he nodded, like the secret was kept between just the two of you, and you knew that was where it would stay.

“Neither have I.”

The moment was a little too heavy for you to handle without becoming overwhelmed, so you instead pressed yourself back into him, not having to look at the caring look in his eyes, instead just feeling the tentative way his hands smoothed up and down your body comfortingly, the heat in the room dissipating until you were beginning to feel the chill, despite the furnace of a human being pressed up along the length of you. You were just about to move and grab your clothes again when he spoke again;

“Do you want to go get something to eat?”

“What?” He shrugged as you sat up, stretching yourself out and searching around for your bra, finding it and pulling it on, clipping it behind your back and adjusting it on your chest as you stared at him inquisitively.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. I figured I’d drive you home, but we could go to In-N-Out or something on the way.”

“You know what? I would love that.” Your stomach rumbled at the offering of food, and you flushed with embarrassment at the loud sound, but Mitch only laughed, rolling to his feet and swiping up the tissue bundle and condom to take to the kitchen while you continued to dress yourself. You had located his boxers and sweats, and offered them to him when he returned, to which he pulled on both quickly, before making his way upstairs to grab a shirt. He was pulling on shoes as he came down the stairs in awkward footsteps, before lacing them up when he reached the bottom, and grabbing a hoodie for himself from on the coat hooks by the door, shrugging it on over his head.

“Ready?”

“We need to put the blankets away first.”

He shook his head as he looked around, holding his hand out towards the door instead, and swiping up his keys as he went. “Nah, I cleaned up everything that would give away what we did, but Stiles can clean up the rest. That’s what he gets for ditching you, he doesn’t get movie night, but he still gets clean up duty. It’s only fair.”

You gave it one final glance, before deciding you absolutely fucking agreed, and offered him your brightest smile as you headed out towards the older brother’s car, the sleek black calling to you as it reflected the streetlamps dotted along the sidewalk. “Can we put the heated seats on again?”

“If you want to, sure.”

You nodded eagerly, hopping up into the car once it was unlocked and settling yourself into the seat, flicking the button yourself this time once Mitch had started up the vehicle and set off onto the roads, a chuckle on his lips as he watched you play with the large console of buttons, turning on the regular heating and the radio, too.

Instead of the widely broadcasted channels, however, the music system began to blast out the last song that Mitch has been listening too, and you jumped at the sudden and loud bass, the car swerving a little as clearly Mitch was caught off guard too, but you were soon gasping in realisation of the beat that was playing, turning the volume down a little but tapping your fingers in time with the tune.

“I love this song!”

“You do?” You nodded, opening the box on the dashboard and looking for the CD album, but he only offered his phone to you, giving you a pointed look as he tapped the bluetooth symbol showing up on the screen. “Not used to modern-day technology, driving around in that old jeep all the time, huh?”

“That jeep has history!”

“You sound like Stiles.” He muttered, rolling his eyes but grinning at you anyway, and you scrolled through his music selection, the conversation between you both flowing easily as you bonded over your music choices, and your favourite songs, which had quickly devolved into favourite movies and your preference on sports teams, and toppings on pizza.

You had flown through the drive-thru, almost empty in the late hour, and he had insisted on paying, calling it his treat, and telling you that you could pay next time.

Being in Mitch’s company was easy. It wasn’t burdened with the worry of rejection or the loss of friendship, it wasn’t weighed down with unrequited love and the fear of not being accepted. With Mitch, you didn’t have previous commitments and complicated friendships and worries about college. He was fun, and warm, and he made everything that plagued your mind go away when you were with him, even if it was just for a little while.

The ride was filled with jokes and laughter, the two of you driving around the empty roads aimlessly until you were pulled up in front of your house, giggling as you finished your milkshakes, used wrappers and cartons stuffed into the bags you’d been given the food in, sitting long discarded by your feet as you peeled the top off of your plastic cup and tried to use the straw to scrape at the whipped cream that had fallen to the bottom.

You managed to scoop some up, humming happily as the sweet goodness filled your mouth and covered your senses, before you were dropping it back down to add to the rubbish in the bag, and licking at your lips to clear it away.

“You know we’ve been driving around for, like, three hours?”

He glanced down at the clock, the time flashing up, despite the engine being turned off as you sat parked up outside of your house. “Oh, shit. I thought we’d been out for an hour, or so.”

“Time flies when you’re having fun.” You teased, and he finished up his drink, putting the empty plastic into the cupholder, his gaze finding yours, and he watched as you lifted a hand up to the side of his mouth, wiping above his lip at the froth caught in his stubble, before smearing it away on a napkin, your head tipping to sit on the headrest as you faced him. The music was playing quietly throughout the car, and you covered your yawn, but his eyes crinkled at the sides as he looked at you, catching the sight of tiredness on your features.

“Tired, kitten?” You mumbled your acknowledgement, your eyes sliding closed a little, and you felt his hand coming up to hold yours, lacing your fingers together and sitting them on the console between you both, and you could feel his stare lingering on you. “I did have fun, you know.”

“Me too, it was a really awesome night. Probably better than any other movie night would have been, actually.” You opened your eyes to look at him now, and he nodded, a bashful look covering his features as he pulled you in a little closer to him, and you happily leaned over towards his space.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time, but I appreciate the chivalry.” You joked, and he barely let out a laugh this time, his hand coming up to cup your cheek and he let out a content sound when you nuzzled a little further into his palm.

“No, those were different. Those were kisses leading up to sex, and that’s what we’ve been doing, what we are doing.” You studied him carefully now, brows furrowed as you watched him try to get his words out. “There’s no sex after this, nothing else. I just want to kiss you goodnight.”

You stared at him for a moment, before bringing a hand of your own to sit on his other cheek, pulling his face in towards yours, brushing your noses together, before connecting your lips softly.

He tasted like the salt of french fries and the whipped cream on top of his chocolate shake. He pressed into you firmly, his fingers digging in under your jaw, just enough to make sure you wouldn't pull back too soon, so that he could prolong the connection, and the drag of your lips against his.

When he did finally pull back, his lips were still puckered or a moment, brushing your lips together before he was letting out a soft sigh, and pressing a kiss to your nose and your forehead. You let him do so, before you repeated the action on him, earning yourself a shy and intimate smile as you kissed at his forehead and he tipped his head down to let you do so, your lips lingering on his skin before you pulled back, giggling so quietly you weren’t sure if he had even heard it, but it didn’t matter.

“I'll text you, okay?

“I hope so. Don’t want it to be days before I talk to you again.” You mumbled, before grabbing your things and hopping out of the car, walking around to the side of the car, and he rolled his window down, brows raised as he looked at you lingering outside his car. The lights in your house were still on, and you glanced back at the windows, before leaning in through his and pressing your lips to his in a final short kiss, a smile gracing his lips as you spoke your next words; “Thank you for making this night so much better than I thought it would be.”

“Goodnight, kitten.”

“Goodnight, Mitch.”

[capstoverogers]

A Soul for a Soul

Tryna break into the wlw Marvel tumblr fic world; consider this grief-ridden multi-chapter fic my resume ;)

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff/Black!Reader, Eventual Carol Danvers/Black!Reader

Genre: Grief, Angst, Romance

Summary: You thought you were used to the struggle. Between growing up as an orphan in Oakland before elbowing your way through the ranks of S.H.I.E.L.D., you were sure nothing could faze you.

But then you lose the love of your life and for the first time ever, you’re not sure how to move forward.

Notes: In this world, Peter Parker survived the Snap and S.H.I.E.L.D. still exists, just underground. Also features an OC with pyrokinetic abilities who’s the Reader’s best friend.

Chapter One - Hope

Word Count: 3,666

Warnings: Cursing, Allusions to Sex, Very Slight Ant-Man Slander, but Out of Love

In a lot of ways, the past five years had been quiet.

You’d grown up in Oakland, gone to college in Washington D.C., then lived and worked in New York ever since. You didn’t like quiet.

The biggest cities had lost their bustle, and it was one of the many reasons why you resented Thanos.

That and for taking the little bit of family you’d ever had. And the two men who were the closest things you had had to living brothers. And your absolute best friend in the world.

You coped in the way you always had - through work and through perspective. With Agents Fury and Hill gone in the snap, along with half of S.H.I.E.L.D. that had been underground after its public fall, you had moved through the ranks overnight (and you had been pretty high up there to begin with), taking over a great bulk of the remaining operations of the covert agency. Those first couple of years, you were in D.C. during the week days, watching as a fractured government slowly tried to repair itself while dispatching any leftover agents to take care of the chaos that had arisen in the aftermath. You’d go home to a pathetic one-bedroom apartment in the city most nights, it often being too late to commute to where you really wanted to be, get a few hours of sleep, then do it all over again.

It was all right. Kept you distracted. Made you feel purposeful.

It was the weekends, though, you found your truest solace. You’d put off all your responsibilities except in case of an emergency, take a quinjet up north to the Avengers compound, spend Saturday and Sunday with the woman you loved. Most of the time, you’d have the entire compound to yourselves. Maybe you didn’t like the quiet, but you loved it when it was quiet when you were with her.

After a few years, though, there was less for everyone to do as slowly, society started to move on. It was a blessing, you supposed, though sometimes it felt like a curse. You had never done well with idle hands.

It was slow enough that you could work remotely, at least, leaving your little D.C. apartment behind to take up permanent residence in upstate New York, except for emergencies. Natasha’s bedroom became y’all’s bedroom. You started to see just how broken she was, felt like a terrible partner for not realizing it sooner. She’d been able to mask it well when she’d only see you on weekends and through holograms. Now that you were together all the time, her walls couldn’t stay up for long.

Like the Avengers always had, she kept the weight of the entire world on her shoulders. Far be it from you to convince her that she didn’t need to do that, but you at least wanted her to know that she could share that burden with you. To get her to realize that became your greatest mission.

And you never failed missions.

By the time you reached the five year mark, the two of you had fallen into the sort of routine you could see yourselves doing for the rest of your lives, if this really had to be the rest of your lives (you think both of you, deep down, had hope that it wasn’t, that something more could be done, which is why you two had tried your hardest to not stop working ever since half of the world disappeared before your eyes). Together you both kept watch over a broken world - Natasha by keeping in touch with the remaining Avengers and your new friends from space as you continued to run S.H.I.E.L.D. from the compound. Occasionally you’d go out for an actual mission, finding that you got cabin fever if you stayed put too long.

Natasha would never come with you, though. She was waiting for the right one, she told you. But you think she was just scared of what would happened if she took her eyes away from the world for even just one second. She’d let you carry a little bit of that weight with her, finally, but far from it all.

She was completely open with you, though, for the first time in the seven years you’d been together (dating a former assassin came with a huge set of emotional intimacy issues, but there was no one else you’d rather work through that with). And when you two realized that wow, you’d been together for seven years, you decided that you all could use a bright spot in this darker world.

So you had a bittersweet wedding. Peter Parker was your “man of honor”, Steve Rogers was hers. Tony presided at his beautiful cabin home with his daughter Morgan as the flower girl and Rocket - much to his outward chagrin though you suspected he secretly loved it - was your ring bearer with the vibranium wedding bands that Okoye had brought for you from Wakanda. You’d even gotten Thor out of his desolate mancave on New Asgard for the night, with the promise of all the beer he could drink.

It was hard not to think of all the people who should’ve been celebrating with you, but you’d at least found the burst of happiness that you could. Moments like that reminded you two that you still had to keep fighting, even if you didn’t quite know what for all the time.

About a month later, you left for a quick mission. You were gone for three days and came back to a bustle unlike any you’d seen at the Compound in years. There was a space ship parked out front, but more surprising was the sight of Tony’s Audi convertible.

Nat’s eyes looked the brightest you’d seen them in awhile, all pretenses shattered as she greeted you with an excited smile that was surprisingly adorable.

“So this is what you do when I’m gone?” You teased, wrapping your arms around her distractedly as you took in the energy around you. God, you had missed this sort of noise. “Throw parties?”

“You caught me,” she gave back, eyes twinkling before she wrapped her arms around you tightly, but in a way that didn’t feel desperate. It reminded you of how she’d hugged you throughout your wedding day. You let yourself fall completely into her embrace, burying your face into her neck and inhaling deeply. It had only been a few days, but you’d missed her so much. How you used to spend all week without her, you had no idea. “I think we found a way to reverse the snap.”

You yanked your head up so quickly that you almost gave yourself whiplash, playfully glaring when Natasha laughed. Her eyes were so warm with hope, though, that that was soon all you could focus on.

“What?!”

She nodded excitedly, squeezing your hips. Your mind immediately started reeling, unable to keep from imagining what this meant, who you’d be able to see again.

“How?!”

Natasha’s lips curled up into a little smirk, eyes still twinkling.

“Time travel.”

Wait.

“What?!”

-----

The compound was chaotic in the wonderful way that you cherished. Thor’s booming voice and Tony’s wisecracks and Steve’s voice of reason and Rhodey’s deadpan and Bruce’s reverberating Hulk-heavy footsteps and Rocket’s quips and Clint’s snark and Natasha’s sarcasm and laugh and sass and just everything about her that had been buried beneath the rubble of the last five years, coming out now more than in just moments. None of you slept as you all plotted, planned, built; a certain energizing spark taking over all of you in this renewed sense of purpose.

There was only enough of these “Pym particles” for ten people to do this time heist, though, which meant you were the odd one out.

“Maybe when you get powers, we’ll reconsider it,” Tony quipped when you complained, chuckling when you rolled your eyes.

“I could beat you up if you didn’t have that suit,” you gave back, smirking.

“She could,” Natasha echoed before he could get a word in, shooting you a grin as she came up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist.

Tony dramatically clutched at his chest.

“I’m offended you don’t think I’m more than my suit, Romanoff.” He paused. “Or is it (Y/L/N) now? Romanoff-(Y/L/N)?”

“Natasha and (Y/N) Widow, actually,” you joked, grinning as a laugh rippled through the Avengers. “Though I’m surprised you didn’t take Pepper’s last name, Tony. We all know she’s really the one running the show.”

You gave him your most dastardly grin as Rocket gave you a fist bump, Thor - perpetually buzzed - howled and Scott and Steve exchanged amused looks.

“See, this is why you’re not coming with us,” Tony said, pointing at you though he couldn’t quite hide his hint of a grin. “Today’s youth, so disrespectful!”

You let that go. You were in your 30s, but Tony always had a hard time not seeing you as that 22 year old first-year S.H.I.E.L.D. recruit he’d met over a decade ago.

So you chuckled, turning in Natasha’s arms in time to catch her fondly rolling her eyes.

“I will say, I’m gonna miss this banter on our mission.”

You wrapped your arms around her waist, as hers moved to your shoulder pulling her closer to you.

“Let me come with you and we won’t have to miss nothin’,” you said lowly, smirking at the way she eyed you.

“You know there’s no one I’d rather by my side,” she admitted softly, letting her fingers massage the back of your neck. You hummed pleasantly, letting your eyes flutter shut as your forehead fell against hers, “But I also like the idea of you here, safe.”

You sighed, not meaning for your breath to hit her lips, but enjoying the feel of her tensing against you nonetheless.

“I might not be a super solider or some guy with …ant powers…” you grinned when Natasha chuckled, “but I can hold my own, Nat.”

“I know you can,” she murmured. “But I’d rather know I’m coming back to you than be worried about you out there.”

You opened your eyes, found them staring into earnest and soft green irises. You could see how important this was for her, doing something that felt tangible after spending so much time and energy over the years to keep the world going, never losing hope even when no one else believed.

This mission would always mean more to her than it ever would for you.

So you nodded, craning your head to place a kiss on her forehead.

“I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”

She smiled, “I know.”

“Get a room, why don’t ya!”

“Shut up, Rocket.”

Hours before they were set to leave back in time, you got a call from Peter Parker saying he desperately needed you to pick him up as soon as possible from Central America, which was strange because the last time you’d checked, you’d sent him on an undercover mission to check out some disturbances in Europe (as the only Avenger whose true identity was still secret, he was most ideal to send on these sorts of things).

It did sound urgent, though, so you quickly headed to your room to change into something more extraction appropriate, unsurprised to hear the door open a few minutes later.

“Oh good,” Natasha’s voice purred playfully behind you as you pulled off the shirt you’d been lounging in. “I was hoping I’d catch you before you got all your mission clothes on.”

You chuckled as you turned to face her, then faltered. Though there was a coy smirk playing at her plump lips, her eyes told an entirely different story. You motioned for her to come closer, trying to keep the spirit high.

“Quickie before I leave?” You joked, sitting back on the bed as she came to stand in between your legs. She laughed, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes as they flickered over you before she gently placed her palm on your cheek.

“Will you be back before we go?” She asked softly.

You shook my head, your frowns matching.

“Even if it is just a pick-up and go, the round trip will take four hours.”

“I’ll see if we can wait on you.”

As much as you wanted that, you found yourself shaking your head again.

“I don’t want anything to throw y’all off,” you told her, covering the hand on your face with your own. “This is too important.”

She nodded; if there was anything you both understood, it was that some things were more important than the two of you. The fate of the world was definitely one of those things, and all the lives that hung in balance. It’s what made you heroes, before anything else.

It’s also what made you and Natasha fit together so well. You understood each other in ways that no one else could.

“I’ll see you when you get back, though,” you assured with a soft smile, grasping at her waist to pull her into your lap. She straddled you like it was second nature, though it didn’t necessary feel immediately sexual. You just liked that she was close. “After you’ve gotten that stone and you’re about to bring everybody back.”

She grinned, “You really think we can do it, huh?”

“You can do anything, Nat. You’re my fucking hero. There’s no one I trust more to save all of us.” You let my fingertips trace gently down her cheek as her eyes softened lovingly. “Don’t tell Rocket or Tony I said that. They’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“Nope. Been recording this conversation the entire time. Gonna share it with everyone.”

You laughed as she grinned slyly.

“I hate you,” you mumbled, your thumb grazing against her bottom lip.

“I love you,” she gently pressed a kiss against the pad of your thumb. “Don’t tell anyone how soft you make me, though.”

“Oh, they already know,” you teased quietly, relishing in the way she made your heart feel. You were so close to telling Peter to find his own ride, not wanting this moment to end, but you knew you and Natasha would have to pull away eventually.

Still, you could make it stretch as long as possible.

“Yeah,” Nat agreed softly, pressing her forehead against yours. “But I like to pretend that they don’t.”

You chuckled as she grinned cheekily.

“I love you too, by the way,” you murmured, as if she didn’t already know. “So fucking much.”

Your thumb drifted from her lip, down to her chin, and forever in tune, she quickly erased the distance between you before you could pull her closer. Seven years, and you had yet to find anything as incredible as kissing her.

Except maybe when after just a few seconds, she pushed you back onto the bed, hovering over you with a twinkling smirk.

“Change your mind about that quickie?” You said playfully, biting your lip at her husky, soft laugh.

“Don’t you have to give a certain spider a ride?” She teased, as if she wasn’t the one who’d pressed her chest delicately against yours.

“There’s another spider that I’d rather give a different kind of ride right now…” Your fingers drifted down to the hem of her pants, but she was off of you before you could start to shimmy them down. You pouted ridiculously as she stood up, earning a laugh.

“We’ll have our own celebration in here when we’re both back,” she said coyly with a wink.

“Good, because we’ve only fucked once since I’ve gotten back from my mission, and it’s making me irritable.”

She chuckled as she grabbed ahold of your hands, effortlessly pulling you up off the bed and back into her arms.

“I love you,” she said again, pressing her lips against yours for a long moment. The words felt more weighted than they usually did, in the way they seemed to seep into your skin, take ahold of your chest and clench your heart. You could feel that this moment was important.

“I love you, too, Nat.”

On your way out, you were intercepted by Clint, who gave you a wry grin as he glanced down to your left hand.

“So I heard you and Nat got hitched,” he said, his eyes a soft contrast to his casual tone. “Wish I could’ve been there.”

“Me too,” you said honestly. Clint and you had never been particularly close, but he was still family, and he meant so much to Natasha. “Steve had to be Nat’s best man, and it was disaster.”

Steve had actually been great, but you knew Clint would get a kick out of the idea of Captain America stiff by the altar, uncomfortable in the face of any kind of public display of affection, as far from the truth it actually was. There was something appreciative in his eyes as he laughed.

“Well, I got dibs when you guys renew your vows.”

You nodded fervently, “Definitely. Maybe once y’all bring everyone back, we’ll do a bigger wedding. I mean, Nat would hate that - “

You paused, then burst out laughing because Clint had said the same thing at the exact same time as you had, and it made you kind of regretful that you hadn’t thought to bond with him more before Thanos had snapped his fingers. But you supposed there was time for that.

Your and Clint’s laughter faded, and both of you hovered there for a moment. Before it could get too awkward, you gave him a soft smile.

“Take care of my girl, Barton.” He and Nat were paired up for the time heist, after all.

He nodded, corner of his lips curling up into a smile that you knew was sincere for him.

“She’s probably gonna be the one having to take care of me,” he joked, but then his eyes softened. “You know I’ll do everything I can to have her back.”

“I know.”

Still, you felt a little uneasy as you headed towards the hangar where the quinjets were kept. You didn’t like being away from home base while they were out on missions. It had always been like that, even before you were with Nat. The fact that she was your wife now intensified it. You really wanted to be there when she got back.

But alas, duty called.

-----

You were thrust into battle without a moment’s notice, when Doctor Strange’s portal appeared in the back of the quinjet just seconds after you had yanked Peter out of the Mexican rainforest as he ran from a bunch of cartel guys, wielding assault rifles and screaming “gringo!” at him.

He was in the middle of an adorable, earnest, apologetic ramble (one that would always be so Peter, even if he was less boy and more man these days) after you’d playfully accused him of being racist because he made you rescue his “white ass.” He’d be trying to tell you that he’d deviated from the mission you’d given him because he’d heard rumors of something akin to the power of an Infinity Stone buried deep in Central America. He knew you’d never authorize him to go after a rumor, so he took matters into his own hands (also very Peter, and it would be hypocritical for you to fault him for that), hoping to find a power source that could maybe reverse the damage that Thanos had done.

Not that it was necessary now. The Avengers had done it. Nat had done. Everyone was back, but apparently somehow that meant a resurgence of Thanos had come with them.

There were no time for questions, though, even though you had so many as you found myself in the rubbled remains of your home with an alien army before you and a homegrown one behind you. There was no time for proper reunions, even though you managed the quickest one when you came across your best friend Zoey on the battlefield - body engulfed in the trademark flames that defined her alter ego "The Flame" - and you two clicked right into place as you set her up perfectly to sizzle one of Thanos’s goons to ash, like no time had ever passed.

You guessed for her, though, no time really had passed.

There was a quick grin and nod before chaos descended again, and you were separated into different parts of the battle. There was a glimpse of T’Challa, carrying an Iron Man glove full of jewels - the Infinity Stones, you realized - across the leveled field - and Sam soaring above you, and Bucky firing shots into the enemy relentlessly, but there was no time to focus on any of this.

There was no time for you to find Natasha in the cacophony, as you forced yourself to focus fully on the battle in front of you. When you all had finished off Thanos once and for all, then you could hold her in your arms until the end of time if you wanted. But first you all had to make sure there was still a world for everyone to still live in.

There wasn’t even time to properly celebrate, as Thanos and his entire army dissipated into dust in the perfect full circle, when Tony slumped over, eyes glazed, his light gone. There was Peter’s full weight against you suddenly, his wet eyes drenching your neck, then Steve’s strong arms around both of you. like an anchor.  You couldn’t help but think that Steve’s gesture was more than just a comfort gesture because everyone had just lost the man who had brought you all together, who meant so much to each of you in different ways.

You didn’t want to confront what else it could mean, though.

[patchofsunlight]

beautiful • todoroki shouto x fem!reader smau

series masterlist — previous | 4. aren’t all of us going together | next

🟥 SUMMARY: Todoroki and Y/N have been best friends for so long that the simple idea of not having each other around seems like a nightmare. However, feelings beyond friendship haunt both of them, even when they try to ignore it.

⬜️ A/N: HEY YALLL SORRY FOR THE DELAY!! BUT HERE IS THE NEW CHAPTER i probably won’t be posting anything during the holidays (except for the haikyuu assumptions thing 👀👀 let’s see), so i thought of posting this a bit earlier. happy holidays everyone!!! hope y’all are taking care of yourselves, sleeping well, eating properly, and drinking water!!! see you soon!!!

ALSO in case.... anyone wants to..... i have posted TWO bnha fics during these last weeks!!! there’s sunshine, which is a todo x fem!reader fic, and stand you, a bakugou x fem!reader fic. i’d be really thankful if you guys could check it out 🥺🥺🥺 YEAH THANKS BYE LOVE YOU MWAH

[spydered]

GOOD MORNING MY BEAUTIFUL DOODLES and happy 🐪🐫 day!

I haven’t done one of these in a hot minute BUT since I’m back, well... I’ma start again.

I hope you all have a wonderful wednesday! I’m working today ( like every day that ends in y that is a weekday lol ) and I will be spotty on here until after work depending on how busy we are. 

Today’s goal is get on my au nat and get some stuff done tonight, but she’s being finnicky so we’ll see how that goes. If nothing else, I’ll get some stuff done here for sure. I want to keep my inbox at a manageable level for once in my life lol 

In exciting ooc news! I am cosplaying for the first time! I’m testing it out at my local comic con in June before I go to a horror con in August. I got Lucille in the mail last week and I’m filtering everything else in over the next week or so.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day and a wonderful rest of the week! Please take care of yourselves! DRINK WATER, EAT FOOD, AND TAKE YOUR MEDS IF YOU NEED TO. ALSO GET SOME SUN AND FRESH AIR IF YOU CAN!

And as always.

YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE STUPENDOUS! AND YOU ARE LOVED! I LOVE ALL Y’ALLS FACES! XOXO

[babbushka]

Biting Dust - ch.4

Life ain’t too easy for a woman, ‘specially not a woman on the run like you. With a bounty on your head and gunpowder in your nose, you’ve grown adjusted to a life of solitude away from the hustle and bustle of civilization. That is, until you meet one particular man who’s got a face you’d only ever seen in your dreams – or on wanted posters. And when he offers you a proposition that sounds too good to be true, well. You don’t think your life will ever be the same again…

Outlaw!Kylo Ren x Reader

Tumblr Masterlist | Available on AO3

7k; cw Graphic descriptions of violence/gun violence/blood & injury 

                                              -----------------------

There’s a distinct energy in the air, gettin’ on up in the morning. Still surprised he ain’t shoot you dead yet, you give Kylo nothing more than a nod of acknowledgment, before goin’ about your business, wadin’ ankle-deep into the water. The water, crystalline and deep, light sparkling off the meandering currents like diamonds, you’re reminded of the way Kylo looked, when he was lookin’ at you.

Shaking your head, you sigh. Whatever had happened yesterday had happened, and it was in the past. Had you dreamed about it? About him? Had your visions been plagued with the look on his face as he came across your stomach? As he nearly sobbed for you, lickin’ at your pulse like some wild thing?

Of course.

Of course, but as much as you wanted to ride on that high of victory, that first test, that first challenge of trust, you knew that his turn would be a’comin’ real soon. You tip your face up to the sky, let the crisp blue of Arizona shine down on your closed eyes, seepin’ up the warmth.

You splash the sleep out of your face, and if Kylo’s watchin’ you real careful like, if somethin’s on his mind, he’s got the smarts to keep it to himself.

It’s silent, for a good part of the ride. Y’all had skipped breakfast, forgoin’ the previous day’s precedent of boiled coffee and a cigarette, instead wanting to keep moving. Always on the move, you were. It wasn’t always that way, but well, that’d been the way for so damn long now, that the time before feels like a dream. Feels like someone else’s memories playin’ in your head.

If only that was the case, you think dryly.

Kylo’s contemplative on his horse, for a real long while. You wonder what he might be thinkin’ about, if he’s thinkin’ about you. You had tried wakin’ up before him today, but it was to no avail. Did the man ever sleep? Surely he must’ve, he was only human after all. You catch his eye awkwardly, the both of y’all looking at each other and then looking away, embarrassed at bein’ caught.

It would seem as though that mutual embarrassment was Kylo’s sign to say something finally, breaking whatever tense mood this had become.

“So Cousin,” Kylo’s voice shocks you for some reason, almost like you had forgotten how deep it was, almost like you’d forgotten that another person could speak so clearly, so confidently to you. “What’s your name?”

He’s referring to the cover story, of course. You remember the way he so sharply denied answering for his age – or maybe was it bein’ a brother that he objected to? Either way, the venom that had stung still lingers in the back of your mind, so you find it best not to press the subject, and answer with the moniker you’ve come to use;

“Mary Elizabeth Sampson.” The words just sound right, rollin’ off the tongue. It was a normal name, nothin’ so outlandish like Angel Eyes. No, Miss Mary Elizabeth Sampson was a proper name, could be found in just about any school house – you immediately cut that train of thought off, instead deflecting, “What’s yours?”

“Benjamin Whitlocke.” Kylo tips his hat, and gives you a real cheeky smile, the kind that shows off his dimples and them crooked teeth as he winks, “But you can call me Benji.”

Sonofabitch is charming, you’ll give him that.

The ease at which Kylo spills the name from his lips relieves you. He was just like you, wasn’t he? On the run and undercover in more ways than one, always another name, another identity in his back pocket. Not that anyone would believe him if he went around introducin’ himself as Kylo Ren – that man was a legend.

This man is…well.

He’s charming.

You commit the name to memory, not that anyone is likely to ask. Folks tended to not ask about things like that, things like the who the when where why how, usually only the what. Still, it’s good to know, good to make sure y’all are on the same page, so you don’t go gettin’ yourselves shot on accident.

“Alright Benji, where’re we from?” You keep your face turned towards the horizon, towards the little town that you’ll be passin’ through. It’s coming up, just out there, just around the canyons. “And where’re goin’?”

“Genoa, Nevada. Right near the Carson River Valley, just shy of Reno.” Kylo’s quick with this one too, and you accept it as an acceptable answer. You had no problem adopting his story, somethin’ about it made you feel more at ease. You could trust yourself to not fuck it up – but trustin’ someone else? Not likely. Especially when Kylo gives you a glance with his good eye and asks, “And well, best to tell the truth ain’t it? Colorado?”

You had told that kind woman back at the inn that you’d be headin’ to Colorado, it didn’t seem worth it to lie once you’ve already told the truth. The truth is easy, don’t got nothin’ to hide if you’re tellin’ the truth.

“Sure is.” You eventually respond. When you ask the next question, you ain’t askin’ for any other reason than your own edification, “What’s the name of this lil’ town you’re sayin’ we’re comin’ up on?”

Kylo shrugs at that, and you shoot him a dirty glare. Immediately he puts his hands up to prevent you from throwin’ a fit about not knowin’ where the hell he’s taking you.

“Well I ain’t so sure what they call themselves on the map, but everyone I ever spoke to only knows it as Ragrock.” He explains, and you sigh, not likin’ that answer one bit.

“Ain’t never heard of Ragrock, are you sure it’ll be there?” You don’t recall such a name bein’ written on that map you’d taken, as a matter of fact you don’t recall a town bein’ out here this way anyway.

Don’t jump to conclusions, you think, as your finger itches for the trigger of your six-shooter that you’ve got right on your hip. Don’t jump, he could be telling the truth, he hasn’t done you wrong yet.

“I’m sure. It’s mighty small but it’s got what we need.” Kylo speaks confidently, making you raise an eyebrow at him.

“Oh yeah? And what exactly is it that we need?”

“Well now I don’t know about you, but I sure would like to stock up on some essential supplies,” Kylo licks across his teeth, breath still sour from morning. “Namely bullets. Some food and a good drink too while we’re at it, but mostly bullets.”

“How much shootin’ have you been doin’ to be fresh out?” You frown, and he rolls his eyes. For a second there, you think he’s about to laugh, but the most you get is a sharp huff out of his nose.

“Angel I’m never fresh out, believe me.” Patting his hip, you hear the telltale jangle of rounds secured to his belt. “I just don’t like gettin’ low, that’s all. And besides, I have a feelin’ we’re gonna need ‘em. We’ll keep a low profile and all, but Ragrock has a habit of bein’ a bitch sometimes.”

“Yesterday you said there were only three public buildings.” You point out, how much of a bitch could a small town like that be?

“I sure did.” He misses the point, “Bar, drug store, and jail.”

“Damn.” The word is out of your mouth before you even think it, and you immediately kick yourself.

Kylo does smile then, gives you a big knowing smile, and something about it soothes you just as much as it unnerves you. You had been half-jokin’ when you told him your name was Angel Eyes, and you had hoped he’d be inclined to accept it as a joke. No one had ever seen you, your face was never done right on the wanted posters, to him you had hoped you were just another woman out in the west.

But when he smiles at you like that, it makes you think he knows.

“Closest bank’s not gonna be until we cross over the border into Utah.” Kylo says real quiet, and you give yourself away by snappin’ your teeth shut, shootin’ him the dirtiest look you can muster.

“What do I care about banks for?” You’re too defensive, and you know that, but dammit you’re defensive anyway – especially because you are Angel Eyes and what if he’s a bounty hunter of some kind? What if he poses as Kylo Ren to get close to outlaws just like you and rake in the big bucks? What if -- ?

“Didn’t say that you did,” Kylo shrugs again, “Was just makin’ conversation is all. Anyway, we won’t be needin’ to worry about banks for a little while. I’ve got enough money on me.”

You have half a mind to halt Agnes right then and there, surprise taking the place of any paranoia.

“You do?” Frowning, you watch as he rifles through a little purse that he pulls out of a small pocket in his waistcoat.  

“Yep.” He shows you, lets you peer inside at the many bills folded neatly together, “Just about a hundred dollars between it all.”

You do stop Agnes then, halting her reins sharply in a way that makes her whinny in protest. Kylo stops Sam too, already confused about what he did wrong, about why you might be angry with him. That only makes you a little angrier.

“Where the fuck did you get that kind of money?” You demand, wondering why the hell he hadn’t said something before, why he had so little on his person if he had the money to afford better.

“Does it matter?” Kylo shrugs and you sigh with an exasperated roll of your eyes.

“Yeah it sure as shit matters! We can’t go ridin’ into a small town with that much money lookin’ like we do. They’ll suspect us straight off.” You groan.

You’re in your riding clothes once again, but you know that even when you change into your blue dress, neither of you will look rich enough to be carrying around one-hundred dollars. That was a very special class of person, a class of person neither of y’all happen to be. Anyone who saw would immediately peg y’all as thieves.

“Well it ain’t like I’m gonna walk in and flash some bills in everyone’s face.” Kylo mutters, expression souring, “Maybe I’m a gambler and got lucky over a deck of cards, they don’t need to know where it came from.”

The thought fills you with panic, with dread.

“Are you?” You’re askin’ before you even know that you’re doing it, voice gone hoarse from the memory of a long time ago, the memory of a poker table endin’ badly, the memory of a card game lost, fire and screaming and --

“No.” Kylo answers with enough passion and angry heat that you think maybe he’s got some bad memories too. You and Kylo stare real hard at one another, and eventually he puts the purse back in his little pocket and says real soft, “My daddy was, and that’s enough for me to never want to bet so much as a dime.”

As much as you hate admittin’ it – and though you’d never say it to his face – you find yourself likin’ Kylo a little bit more now. He nudges Sam with the heel of his boot, thinking that now that this face off has met its end, you can continue down towards the town.

                                             -----------------------

Squinting against the rippling heat waves of the summer sun, you notice that the town’s buildings are starting to appear as small pricks on the horizon, way out in the distance, shimmering like a mirage. Now’s as good a time as any, you figure, because if you get any closer they might send scouts to come investigate, and you’re not in any mood for an investigation.

“Hold on.” You say, and Kylo stops immediately. Sam huffs out a little chuff of annoyance, but Kylo ignores her.

“What’s the matter?” He’s got a sharp edge to his voice, his good eye immediately scanning around and around for danger.

“Ain’t nothin’ the matter, I just have to change, that’s all.” You explain, and it’s almost funny the way that Kylo’s shoulders drop, tension saggin’ away from them.

You hop off of Agnes altogether. Looking around, you realize very quickly that there’s nothing to change behind, nothing to give you cover. But then you wonder if it really matters, Kylo’s already seen you naked after all. You wonder if he’ll want to look again, if he’ll get his eyeful of you the way he had yesterday, but you find that as you start undressing, he’s got his eye trained just off to your right, respectful.

“Into that blue dress of yours, right?” He clears his throat, busying himself by fiddling with some tobacco and a piece of paper, rollin’ up a cigarette.

“One of us has to look civilized.” You tease him, “Make yourself useful and keep a lookout.”

He does something then, that makes you wonder just what the hell he’s playin’ at. Kylo guides Sam to come stand beside you, effectively sandwiching you between your horse and his, creatin’ a barrier from the outside world, a shield of sorts. You never would have expected such gentlemanly behavior from him – from anyone.

But here he is, protectin’ you from the hungry gaze of the sun and the sand, as you step out of the calf-tall boots you wear, unsnap the buckles of your suspenders which hold up the worn linen trousers that once were a rich black, but now have sun-bleached to an off-blue grey. You unbutton your shirt, long sleeves slippin’ off your arms and exposing your skin to the harsh rays of the sun for a few moments, and all the while, Kylo doesn’t look.

You’re wearin’ nothin’ but your corset and smock, and he doesn’t look.

“You know, when we cross into Utah, we’ll have to pass through Ruby City.” Kylo says instead of starin’ at your body, instead of tryin’ to get a glimpse. “That there’s a proper city, has a train station runnin’ through it and everything. It’s got all sorts of stores and things like that. Maybe you could let me buy you a new dress, let that blue one retire for a while.”

Switching your corset from the sturdy riding support-piece that you wear for something more fashionably structured, still he doesn’t look. The smock sits nicely off your shoulders, your decolletage and cleavage on full display as you snap the hooks and eyes of the corset into place, steppin’ into the petticoat that you’d just cleaned by the river.

“No.” You say easily, echoin’ a sentiment you’d give him before, “I don’t need you doin’ anything for me, I told you already – ”

You struggle for a minute, pullin’ the dress over your head. When it’s freshly washed like this sometimes it was a little stiff from dryin’ in the sun, and you have to wriggle it around to get it to sit properly.

“Well what if it ain’t a need but a want to do it?” Kylo’s hands startle you for a minute, as he leans down and helps set the seam of the yoke on your shoulders properly, “A gift from me to you.”

You tense up immediately, and he drops his hands, not wanting to offend or upset you.

“Ain’t never been a man who gives a gift without expectin’ somethin’ in return.” You reply quietly, a resolute shake of your head.

He’s quiet about that for a while, watching you now that you’re all covered up, watching as you do up all those buttons on your front, as you step into boots that are a little more lady-like, even though you despise that term.

He watches as you trade your wide brimmed hat for a bonnet, hair tucked neatly away instead of the way you usually let it be exposed and free.

“I’m not like them,” Kylo appraises you, fixes your bonnet a little so it ain’t crooked as you tie the ribbon underneath your chin, “Whoever it is that done hurt you so bad.”

“I don’t know that.” You point out, swingin’ your leg up over Agnes’ sadle and rollin’ the stiff joints of your shoulders. Your tone is light, not wantin’ to get into too much heavy right before headin’ into the town, “For all I know, you could be worse.”

“I’ll prove it to you, you’ll see.” Kylo smiles, and you almost want to accept that as a challenge, almost want to dare him, just to see if he would.

                                             -----------------------

Kylo wasn’t lying when he said the town was small. There it was, the single street town, in all its glory. Looking to the left, you can see the way the canyons split and wind alongside the river, houses and homesteads and farms dottin’ the red red earth. Looking to the right, you can see more houses still, but farther apart, nothin’ but cacti and tumbleweeds between them.

Along this single road are actually five buildings; the drugstore and a jail to the left, the saloon and a big fancy house to the right, and a church right down at the end of the road. Well, it wasn’t so much a road as it was a dirt path, but still. And because of how little there was, it was all spread out, takin’ up as much space as possible.

No one was around, but if all the noise from the saloon were anythin’ to go by, you’d reckon that the entire town of Ragrock had gathered there.

Given the placement of the sun up in the powder blue sky, it was fixin’ to be about lunchtime. And considerin’ neither you nor Kylo had had anythin’ to eat today, you’re just glad that the ovens would hopefully be workin’, and that you might use some of Kylo’s money for somethin’ hot and fresh.

“I’m going to pick up some things from the pharmacy, why don’t you go get us a table?” Kylo’s thinkin’ the same thing, and you shoot him a wary eyebrow.

“Do you think they’ll let me in?” You knew that in most places, women weren’t actually allowed inside saloons unless they were whores or ‘Shady Ladies’. And while you were certainly a Shady Lady, you didn’t need nobody knowin’ that.

“In a town this small, impropriety extends to the womenfolk, no need for worry.” Kylo waves your concern off, and you wonder whether to believe him or not.

“What’ll you have to drink?” You decide on takin’ him at face value, it hadn’t steered you wrong yet. Kylo lets out a little laugh at the question, and you roll your eyes, hatin’ how damn cocky he gets when he gets his way.

“Doubt there’ll be much of a choice, but if rum’s on the menu, you sign me up for a glass of that.” He licks across his teeth again, and you part ways for the time being.

There’s only one place to hitch the horses, and that’s damn near the other end of the town by the church. Must not be Sunday, you figure, since the building is empty. Keeping track of the days of the week was somethin’ that had been gettin’ harder and harder, and usually it was only times like these when you’re in a town, that you’re able to figure out when the hell on the calendar you are.

Bein’ that it ain’t Sunday, your earlier suspicion is correct – everyone in the town is in this saloon. From the town elders to the children, boys and girls alike, everyone’s gathered together in the shade of the big wooden building. It’s only one story you notice, which means that there ain’t an inn or a place to sleep above it, which could pose somethin’ of a problem for you. You resolve to get chummy with the boss and see if he can’t suggest somewhere that you and Kylo might be able to rest your heads later on in the evening when the time comes.

The bar is nearly full up with customers laughin’ and talkin’ to one another, card game tables are set up on the floor, some folks winnin’ and some folks losing. There’s a three-person band up against the wall, a pianist a harmonica player, and a fiddle player, and the music instantly lets you know that this is an Irish town.

No rum then, sorry Kylo, you think with a bit of apprehension as you step foot through the swingin’ café doors. Unlike the saloon in the other town, no one pays you a lick of attention here. It ain’t until you make your way up to the bar as a matter of fact, that you start gettin’ eyes.

“Well hell-llo there honey.” A large portly man with a great big gold tooth right in the middle of his face gives you the once-over, “Are you lost?”

Your eye twitches ever so slightly at the petname, but you put on a cool face and bat your lashes, knowin’ just how to play this particular game.

“No sir, my cousin and I are just passin’ through.” You explain, lookin’ for someone who works there, “Might there be a spot open for us to have a drink and crust of bread?”

“For a face like that, you bet your ass there is.” The bartender, a man with slim sharp features stands up from wherever he was crouchin’ behind the bar counter. He wipes the counter with a fresh cloth before slingin’ the thing over his shoulder.

The bartender puts a plate of food in front of you, some buttered bread and nuts that you happily crunch down.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth, that there’s a lady.” The portly man with the gold tooth points a finger in the bartender’s direction, makin’ you chuckle.

“Naw it’s alright, I ain’t so proper that a couple cuss words will do me any offense.” You wink at him, watchin’ as he gets off his stool at the bar, and offers it to you.

You sit on the stool in his place, and he leans up against his elbow on the counter. You try not to wrinkle your nose at how bad his breath smells, keepin’ up that pleasant smile.

“I’m Amos, why don’t you let me buy you a drink?” He asks, and your eyes flick to the doors with hesitation.

“That’d be mighty kind of you, thank you Amos.” Knowing to never ever refuse a drink or else risk gettin’ branded as disrespectful, you chew on your lip, “Although, I should probably wait for my cousin. He’s just over yonder at the drug store, but he’ll be right back when he’s done.”

“Well when he comes on in I’ll buy him a drink too!” Amos lets out a hearty laugh, slaps a couple coins down on the counter.

“I speak for the both of us when I say we appreciate the generosity immensely.” You smile, wondering what the fuck is taking Kylo so long.

“What’ll you have?” The bartender accepts the coins, pulls a big glass out from behind the counter and gestures to the three different barrel taps he’s got on hand.

“I ain’t picky.” You shake your head, not wantin’ to be fussy.

You’d had a taste of just about every kind of alcohol there was, from Pabst and Budweiser to home-distilled ‘shine. There wasn’t nothin’ you couldn’t swallow, even if you did prefer water above all else. The bartender fills up the glass with the frothy gold of some home brew, and knowin’ the norms, knowin’ how it’d be a sign of weakness to sip your drink, you throw back a big gulp, wipin’ a droplet or two away from your chin with the back of your hand, much to the cheers and applause around you.

“Damn! A woman who can hold her liquor deserves it, don’t you think, ‘Tidge?” Amos slaps the bar top, regardin’ you with another hearty chuckle.

“I sure do.” The bartender, ‘Tidge, gives you a freckled smile.

You look over your shoulder once again, and still no sign of Kylo.

Well, you think to yourself, if he’s going to take his sweet fuckin’ time, then you might as well get comfortable. Besides, couldn’t hurt to get on the town’s sweet side, in case you ever need to come moseying back through this way.

“I like that name, is it short for somethin’?” You turn your attention back towards the bartender, admiring his features.

He’s handsome, in a gangly sort of way. Those cheekbones could cut a man from how sharp they were, everything about him angular and severe, right down to his eyes, a swirling blue-green-grey that you couldn’t quite place. And then of course his hair, a bright orange with more yellow than red in it, you’re sure you’d be able to spot this man from just about anywhere in the town – maybe that’s why he was bartender.

“Armitage, but ain’t nobody calls me that unless I’m in trouble for somethin’, ya see.” He winks at you, his accent lilting and even as he wipes wipes wipes the counter and nonchalantly asks, “What might your name be?”

“Mary, and my cousin’s Benjamin.” You lie straight through your smiling teeth, and he smiles back.

He’s about to open his mouth to say something else, when another employee, a server of some kind, sticks his head out from a side door behind the counter and whistles for Armitage’s attention.

“Hey boss!” The server calls, “There’s a man out here askin’ about some cattle, says he wants to talk to you.”

At that, Armitage throws the towel down and groans, checkin’ the pocket-watch he pulls out of his vest.

“Aw shit,” He mutters to himself, callin’ back, “Tell Joey I’ll be right out! Pardon me Miss Mary, but business is business.”

You only nod, liftin’ your glass of half-drunk whiskey in response, and Armitage leaves.

The swingin’ doors of the saloon give way once again, and this time, finally, Kylo arrives. You can see him through the reflection of the tarnished silver mirror that sits up on the wall behind the bar, likely for reasons like this; so even the regulars at the bar can get a looksee at whoever happens to be comin’ and goin’.

You take another swig of your drink, watch through the silver as Kylo is stopped by a gentleman by the door.

“Hold on there partner, check your guns in.” The gentleman says, a hand on Kylo’s massive chest, stoppin’ him from walking in any further. “Thems the rules.”

You try to hide your grin at the fact that you had been so underestimated to not be stopped, but then again, Kylo was really askin’ for trouble just by walkin’ in, what with his naturally intimidating demeanor. You wonder if he’s going to fight the old man on that, but shockingly, he hands his pistol over without any hesitation.

“Whatever you say, sir.” Kylo gives a nod, before searching for you with a tentative, “Mary?”

“Over here Benji.” At the sound of your ‘name’, you turn and throw a hand up for Kylo to see.

“So this is the cousin, eh?” Amos slurps his beer loudly, as if sizing Kylo up and down, trying to figure out if that’s a fight he would win.

“Yep.” You reply, tryin’ your damn best to not regard Kylo with anything more than platonic interest as he weaves his way through the saloon.

Heat burns in your cheeks from how he doesn’t take his eyes off of you, even in that menacing scowl he’s got plastered to his face, he doesn’t once look away. To him, you could have been the only woman in the entire saloon, and for all he knew, you might as well be. Even without his gun, Kylo still looks like the most deadly man in the entire bar, just from sheer stature and attitude.

It’s a good look, not that you’d tell him that.

You don’t get a chance to tell him anything, because as soon as he comes and sidles up next to you, he slips an arm around your waist, protective – possessive, sizin’ Amos up and down in reutnr, a challenge of his own.  

“We were startin’ to think you didn’t exist.” Amos grunts into his glass.

“Here I am, in the flesh.” Kylo’s voice is deep, deadly. It sends a shiver up your spine, you can feel the crackle of tension radiating off of him, so to mitigate any potential disaster, you push a full glass of whiskey into his hand, makin’ Kylo smile softly at you and asking, “How much for the drinks…?”

“This kind gentleman here took care of them for us.” You nod carefully towards Amos, who is lookin’ a lot less friendly right about now, now that he’s got his eye on the way Kylo pulls your body a little closer to his.

“Oh, well in that case, your next one’s on me.” Kylo pulls out a coin, balances it on his thumb and flicks it up into the air.

Amos catches it with ease, and grunts out something that you think might be a thank you.

“Benji, is it?” Another man’s voice sounds from just behind the two of you, and both you and Kylo freeze up for a split second, before quickly recovering and tryin’ your best to act natural.

“Depends on who’s askin’.” Kylo responds, turnin’ to see who might be inquiring about him.

There’s a table just off to the side, four chairs, only three of them filled. A gruff lookin’ man with ruddy red hair and a freckled face cracks his knuckles, gestures to the empty chair across from him. You swallow, lookin’ at the pile of cards that have been left abandoned on the table.

“We’ve just lost a player, if you’d care to join.” The man says.

You knew enough to know that when a man offers somethin’ like that, it’s more of a dare. And there ain’t no faster way to get into a fight, than by shyin’ away from a dare. Kylo knows this too, and despite the conversation y’all had earlier about him not bein’ a gambler, he knows he can’t not play at least one hand.

“Alright, but just once.” He says as much, using your presence as an excuse, “Wouldn’t do to go leavin’ my cousin all by her lonesome.”

Giving him a very cautious look, you will him not to do anything stupid. Armitage will be back soon and hopefully he’ll bring some protein with him, and you can enjoy a proper lunch and inquire about a possible place to stay for the night. It would be bad, for anything to happen now.

Kylo walks over to the table, takes the seat.

“What’s this?” He points to the little pile of cards, and you get the uneasy feeling that something bad is going to happen anyway, despite your silent pleas.

“That’s the hand he left behind.” The gruff man smokes on a fat cigar, blows smoke out of his nose, sucks across blackened teeth.

Curiously, Kylo lifts the cards just enough to see somethin’ that he don’t like, and he immediately puts them back down on the table.

“I’d rather not take ‘em, if that’s alright. Deal me a new hand.” Kylo requests, and that, it would seem, was the wrong move to make.

You hold your breath, eyes boring into the back of Kylo’s skull, hand itchin’ for the gun you’ve got hidden on your person, the gun that you’d be willin’ to throw Kylo at a moment’s notice, should he need it.

“It ain’t alright.” The gruff man shakes his head, his eyes grey like steel as he regards the pile, “You seen ‘em, you play ‘em.”

“That don’t seem fair.” Kylo points out, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I don’t give a shit about fair.” The man is unmoving, unwavering, not once breaking eye contact with him as he repeats, “You seen ‘em, you play ‘em.”

“And if’n I don’t?” Kylo asks.

The clinking sound of a holster buckle is what captures everyone’s attention, every single person in the saloon.

Amos, the card table, all the women and children, hell even that three-man band stop playin’, and all turn to look at him, at Kylo, who is now standin’ on the other side of the table, starin’ down the barrel of a gun.

The gruff man stands too, holds the gun level in one hand, holds the cigar in his other.

You itch to throw your gun to Kylo, itch to shoot the man dead yourself, but you don’t move a muscle.

Nobody in the entire saloon moves a single muscle.

“Now I don’t want this to get ugly, particularly not in front of my sweet cousin right over there, so I’m gonna give you a chance.” Kylo has the nerve to say, as he puts his hands up in good faith. He speaks lowly, quietly, so low that the saloon goes silent to hear him. “I’ll give you three seconds to go on over to that there desk and deposit your gun with the clerk at the door, which you shoulda done upon entering as is part of the rules of this here establishment.”

In response, the gruff man only pulls back the trigger, a mockin’ tone to his voice when he echoes Kylo’s earlier words of, “And if’n I don’t?”

You’re just about to lunge in and help him, when all of a sudden, Kylo lifts his leg and slams his boot down on the table, and before you can even shout to ask what the fuck he’s doing, you realize that the long wooden plank wasn’t secured down enough to be stable, and by kicking down on his end, the other end of the plank flies straight up, knockin’ the man’s hand upward, the barrel of the gun pointed right at his chin, the jolt of movement firin’ the trigger, bullet shootin’ straight up through the man’s head.

The crowd is stunned, speechless, watching in shock as the plank levels out on the table again, as Kylo kicks it down down down again, three more bullets flyin’ up through the man’s skull, blood spattering spraying onto the faces of the people in the general vicinity, screams and gasps at the hot hiss of red landin’ on their clothes.

Everyone is frozen, watches as the man’s body finally gives way to death, and thuds and thunks down to the floor.

The top of this man’s head is completely blown out, and Kylo doesn’t even so much as blink an eye, even now that he’s got blood on his own clothes.

“Y’all saw how I warned him?” Kylo barks out to the crowd, and they recoil more from this than they did from the shooting.

“We saw.” They reply nearly in unison.

“Anybody got anything they want to say about it?” Kylo dares, but when no response comes, “Good. Now where’s the fuckin’ bartender when you need him?”

Almost as if on cue, Armitage comes back through the side door, clapping away dirt from his palms.

All eyes shift to him, and Armitage has a look of confusion on his face for one second, one split second, before it morphs through devastation, to rage.

“Brian!” He calls out with the sort of anguish that makes you think Kylo picked the wrong gambler to kill.

“Oh shit.” You mutter under your breath, especially as Armitage jumps over the bar and rushes to the fallen man’s side.

“Which one of you sons of bitches killed my brother??” Armitage screams, so red in the face that you’re afraid he’s going to burst.

It’s then, that Armitage whirls around and gets an eyeful of Kylo – the kind of eyeful that means he knows that ain’t no Benjamin.

“Oh shit!” You hiss, hand slowly, carefully, creepin’ towards your gun.

“You!” Armitage seethes, leveling a bloodied finger in Kylo’s direction as he races back to the bar to grab a rifle, checks the chamber to make sure she’s fully loaded, and immediately fires a shot that blast through the wood of the table, sending the crowd shouting and screaming, racing out of the saloon to avoid bein’ struck. “I thought I told you to never step foot into this goddamn place again!”

Kylo makes a mad dash for you then, grabs you by the arm and yanks you back back back as Armitage reloads his double barrel.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you knew him?” You seethe, smacking at him, wanting to punch his fucking teeth out, wondering why he led you into the belly of a hornet’s nest.

The blast of bullets shatters the window above you, and you both duck your heads so as to not get struck by the falling glass.

“No time to explain, on my count, you make a run for the door and get the horses.” Kylo mutters, entirely too calm and collected, making you want to punch him even harder.

“Here take my gun – ” You offer him, but as another explosion sounds off a little too close to you this time, Kylo unveils two more guns of his own.

“Don’t need it,” Kylo grins, and for the first time, you see a sparkle in that blind eye of his. He scoffs, “What, you didn’t think I’d hand them all over, did you?”

You just widen your eyes at him, incredulous.

“Three, two -- run!” Kylo shouts, popping up over the makeshift barrier he’s yanked you behind, and immediately starts shooting, giving you the cover you need to make a bolt for it.

The band strikes up again, piano and fiddle and harmonica filling the emptiness of silence, punctuated by the sounds of struggle as a great big fights breaks out among the drunks and gamblers that Kylo has so offended.

It feels like a battleground, the way you dodge the bullets that zip past you. If you had made any friends in the time sittin’ at that bar, you’ve lost ‘em now, that much is clear. Amos has no reservation aimin’ straight for your heart, but your quick fingers pull your trigger before he can even manage, his dead body stumbling and tumbling like a bowling ball, knockin’ down the pins of his friends as they try to pin you with bullets of their own.

Run run running, you try to shove your way through the panic of the crowd who keeps scramblin’ like chickens with their heads cut off, screaming and hollerin’ from the way that bullets keep hittin’ and springin’ off metal and blasting into wood, holes riddlin’ the walls, lettin’ streams of sunlight in.

You shoot and shoot, punching and kicking your way through the crowd, knowing that behind you, Kylo can’t be too far.

You can tell because you can hear his grunting shouts, his adrenaline filled calls of rage as he too blasts bullets into the bodies of men, overturning barrels and tables, crashes and explosions going off behind you.

On the single street, you can see some of the townsfolk racing to the jail, and that sends a spike of terror down your back.

The jail meant one thing, and one thing only – the Sheriff.

Panic simmers and bubbles up through you, and you keep running, running towards the church where your horses have been passively entertaining themselves with a trough of water and a bucket of feed.

“Aggie! Sam!” You whistle for their attention, and at once, they turn their big heads to look at you.

Agnes braces herself for you to hoist yourself up onto her saddle, and you frantically undo the tie of their reins around the posts that they’ve been good enough to not wander away from. Holding Sam’s reins in your hands, you kick your heels into Agnes’ side, and great big plumes of dust and dirt kick up under the horses’ hooves as the great beasts immediately break into fast fast fast gallop.

Racing closer closer closer to the saloon, you can still see them fighting and shooting at one another on the inside.

“Come on, come on!” You’re screaming at Kylo from down the road, demanding that he hear you, that he get outside already, because you can’t slow these horses down once they’ve gotten like this, and you can’t turn back once you’ve passed the saloon, not with the commotion from behind, not with the way the Sheriff is now shootin’ at you, at your horses.

“God dammit get out here!” You scream again, lookin’ behind you, takin’ aim and shootin’ the Sheriff clean at the wrist, blowin’ his hand off, the gun explodin’ off with it, bullet ricocheting off one of the hangin’ signs, bouncin’ back and hittin’ the Sheriff in the chest.

You’re almost at the saloon, almost there, and Kylo still ain’t out front, heartbeat pounding pounding pounding in your chest as you approach the doors closer and closer, as you can hear the sound of gunfire and broken glass from inside – but then -- !

Then there he is!

You see him running through the saloon towards the front doors, and somehow, impossibly somehow, as you pass the doors, you throw Sam’s reins, and Kylo catches them, his long legs running alongside Sam’s breakneck pace, jumping up onto her without her slowing down one bit.

“Yes!!” You let out a triumphant shout of adrenaline, before whipping Agnes’s reins and urging her ever faster.

You and Kylo grin at one another, victors in this chance game with death, cheatin’ your lives once again, as you ride ride ride out into the desert, not lookin’ back to see if anyone follows.

[thelazyhermits]

Touching Hearts

As I mentioned in this post, I’ve finally started watching season 4 of the anime, and because of that, I’m remembering things I had forgotten about since it’s been a while since I last read about those arcs in the manga.

One such thing I forgot about was how beat up Todoroki and Bakugou get from their provisional license training, which is mentioned at the beginning of the Overhaul arc, so I decided to write a scene focused on that which takes place directly after chapter 38 of TABF.

I hope y’all enjoy it! ^-^

After you convince Yagi to meet with Nighteye, the retired hero nervously calls his former sidekick in hopes to arrange a meeting with him. Much to his surprise, Nighteye quickly agrees and says you both can come by tomorrow afternoon.

Of course, you aren’t nearly as surprised as Yagi is. After all, there’s no way a diehard All Might fan like Nighteye could ever turn down a request from the former number one hero himself. Plus, you’re sure that he was happy to hear that Yagi wanted to speak with him, even though you bet he’s wondering what the reason behind the visit is since Yagi didn’t go into details.

Once that meeting has been set up and you’ve properly cleaned your tear-stained face, you and Yagi make arrangements to set up a meeting with Nedzu and Aizawa to let them know about the current situation at hand.

As expected, neither Nedzu or Aizawa are thrilled when they hear the news of Nighteye’s impending death, and the latter especially dislikes the thought of you trying to prevent it because of your drawback. 

Thankfully, in the end, you and Yagi manage to convince him to allow you both to meet with Nighteye tomorrow since you can’t just ignore your vision. You have to do something.

However, it takes a while to do that, so by the time you finally start heading back to the dorm, you’re completely exhausted, emotionally because of that horrific vision you had about Nighteye, mentally because of that meeting with Aizawa, and physically since you had training with Shinsou after that meeting finally concluded. 

That’s why you have every intention to go to bed early tonight, so you’ll be well-rested for tomorrow’s meeting with Nighteye. And you’re honestly just too tired to do anything besides cook dinner at this point, well anything except for giving Midoriya a big hug, of course, since you know he had an equally rough day and you will never be too tired to shower him with the affection and support he deserves. Plus, hugging him always makes you feel better, so it’s only natural that you take every opportunity to do so, especially on a day like today.

While you follow through with your plan to hug Midoriya once you return to the dorm, your plans to turn in early tonight end up changing when dinner comes and goes without you seeing Bakugou or Todoroki. Apparently, since it’s Sunday, today’s provisional license training is an all day affair.

Aizawa had told you as much earlier today, but you didn’t think he literally meant all day, considering how early the boys left this morning. Naturally, that just makes you wonder what kind of training they are going through that lasts from sunrise to sunset, obviously the really intense kind.

No doubt Todoroki and Bakugou will be exhausted by the time they return to the dorm. You just hope they won’t be too battered and beaten since you heard from the other UA teachers that Ganga Orca is a tough instructor.

Since you’re worried about your students, you can’t bring yourself to go to bed until they safely return to the dorm. That’s why, when everyone else turns in for the night, you remain in the living room and wait for the boys.

Fortunately, you don’t have to wait long since Bakugou and Todoroki both arrive shortly after their classmates turn in for the night. When they do, you discover that your wish for them to not be too battered and beaten was in vain.

With a gasp, you hurry over to the surprised boys, so you can get a better look at their injuries. “Are you two alright?! I heard Ganga Orca was a tough instructor, but I didn’t think you two would come back looking this beat up!”

Todoroki blinks, “We’re alright. None of our injuries are serious.”

He tilts his head. “What are you doing still up, Sensei? I thought everyone would be asleep by now.”

Frowning, you gently cup his injured cheek as you examine the damage done to his handsome face. “I didn’t want to go to bed before you two got home, and I’m glad I didn’t since you both need to get these injuries treated before you go to bed.”

Bakugou huffs, “You’re overreacting. These are just scratches. They’re nothing to make a big deal about.”

“Even so, we can’t ignore them.” You reply as you pull your hand away from Todoroki’s face. “So, after you two have eaten dinner, I’ll help you take care of them.”

Just as you turn to head for the kitchen, a question comes to mind, making you pause. “Or do you guys need to take a shower first?”

Todoroki shakes his head. “They had shower stalls at the building where our training was held, so we took showers after we changed out of our hero costumes.”

“Good.” You resume heading toward the kitchen. “In that case, just take a seat at the dining table, and I’ll bring out the food I set aside for you two.”

Rather than oblige, Bakugou drops the briefcase carrying his hero costume and follows after you. “I can carry my own fucking food. You don’t need to bring it to me.”

After Todoroki copies his classmate’s actions, he adds, “I can carry mine too. You don’t have to go out of your way for our sake, Sensei.”

Obviously, these two aren’t as exhausted as you first thought if they have enough energy to argue with you. You suppose you should take that as a good sign.

“Alright.” You huff, “I’ll show you what all I set aside for you in the fridge, and then, I’ll take care of getting some drinks for us.”

Not long after that, the three of you find yourselves at the dining table. While your students eat their food, you just drink from the water bottle you grabbed for yourself.

Rather than try talking to your students, you just watch them devour the food you prepared for them since they’re obviously more interesting in eating than chatting. You had expected they would have strong appetites after the long day they had, and you were right. It’s a good thing you made sure to prepare ample portions for them.

Once he has gotten through half of his meal, Shouto finally takes notice of what Bakugou is eating and tilts his head curiously. “I didn’t notice this earlier, but Bakugou and I are eating completely different meals. Why is that? Shouldn’t these just be leftovers from tonight’s dinner?”

Apparently, Bakugou didn’t notice that either, judging from the way he pauses his eating to examine his and his classmate’s dinner. When the blond later turns to raise an eyebrow at you, you chuckle, “Those aren’t leftovers from tonight’s dinner. Those are dishes I made after dinner.”

A grin forms on your lips. “I wanted to make you each your favorite foods once I realized what a long day you would be having since I wanted to make sure your day ended on a good note. After all, nothing’s better than eating food that you love after a long day, right?”

The corners of Todoroki’s lips tilt slightly upwards. “That’s true. My day definitely improved thanks to your delicious soba. Thank you, Sensei.”

As you return the ice user’s smile, Bakugou returns his attention to his food. “Your spicy food still isn’t anywhere near the level of spiciness my cooking has, but it’s not bad.”

An amused huff escapes you. “Thanks, and I’ll be sure to keep the spice level in mind the next time I make something spicy for you.”

Once that conversion concludes, the boys resume eating. Since it shouldn’t be long until they finish, you leave the table to collect the first aid kit that’s kept in the kitchen, so you can be ready to treat their injuries once they finish eating.

Fortunately, even though you know Bakugou finds your mothering to be annoying, he doesn’t try to make a break for it as soon as he and Todoroki finish eating. Instead, the blond takes care of cleaning his dishes and throws away his trash like his classmate does before returning to the dining table.

When you give him an approving smile after he takes a seat at the table, Bakugou scowls at you in return, but thankfully, he doesn’t do anything else. Still, you know he’ll be far from a model patient, so you decide to save him for last since you know Todoroki won’t give you any trouble.

Just as you expected, Todoroki just quietly sits at the table as you begin treating all of his injuries, only speaking whenever you ask him if he’s in any pain. Each time you ask him if your actions are hurting him, he assures you that he’s fine much to your relief.

That relief quickly turns tino frustration when you begin treating the scrapes on Todoroki’s face. “Honestly, what was Ganga Orca thinking, allowing such a handsome face to get injured like this? If the ladies of Japan saw you looking like this, they would all cry!”

Todoroki’s eyes widen slightly. “Really? How come?”

While Bakugou rolls his eyes, you answer, “Because nothing is sadder to a girl than seeing a handsome guy’s face get ruined! Looks like yours should be treasured, not treated like this! Doesn’t Ganga Orca realize a face like yours will eventually become one of Japan’s greatest treasures?!”

He continues to stare at you in amazement. “I didn’t realize my face was so important.”

Bakugou scoffs, “It’s not. Sensei’s just exaggerating. The only thing that stands out about your face is how fucking annoying it is.”

Just as you’re about to scold the hothead for his words, an idea comes to mind, making you grin. “Aw, Bakugou, is that jealousy I hear? Are you upset that I'm complimenting Todoroki’s face and not yours?”

His face reddens. “Hah?! Don’t be stupid! Like I give a fuck about that!”

Your grin grows. “I dunno. You sure sounded jealous to me.”

“There’s no need to be jealous, Bakugou.” Todoroki calmly says, “You have a nice face too.”

While you snort at Todoroki’s innocent compliment, Bakugou glowers at him. “Are you trying to pick a fight with me, Half-and-Half?! I’ll kill you!”

Confused, Todoroki tilts his head. “No? Why would you think that?”

Before Bakugou can retort, you intervene. “Todoroki is right, though. You do have a handsome face just like he does, Bakugou.”

With a grin, you add, “Although, I’m worried about it going to waste, considering how much you’re always scowling. You know, if you keep making faces like that, your face might get stuck like that forever.”

Todoroki frowns, “That wouldn’t be good. You should be careful, Bakugou, so that won’t happen.”

As you fight the urge to laugh at the stoic boy’s show of genuine concern, Bakugou’s scowl deepens. “It won’t! So, fuck off! Nobody asked for either of your opinions!”

Chuckling, you finish up bandaging the rest of Todoroki’s injuries. “Just giving you a friendly warning. After all, you want to surpass All Might, don’t you?”

Bakugou raises an eyebrow at you. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”

Once you’ve taken care of Todoroki, you begin tending to the blond’s injuries, taking full advantage of his distraction caused by your earlier comment. “In order to fully surpass All Might, you have to beat him in all aspects, right? Well, that obviously means you’ll have to have a smile that can outshine his, don’t you think?”

“That makes sense.” Todoroki agrees, “After all, when anyone thinks of All Might, one of the first things that come to mind is his smile since it’s so iconic.”

You give him a wink. “Exactly! If anyone ever hopes to beat All Might, then they better have a smile that can rival his. Otherwise, he’ll always remain number one in that category.”

When you return your focus to Bakugou, you see him frowning, wearing a contemplative expression. Obviously, he’s taking your words into serious consideration. 

Smiling, you finish bandaging one of his scrapes before ruffling his hair, making him scowl. “You’re amazing, Bakugou. There’s no question about that. You’re strong, smart, and talented among many other things.”

“However,” You raise a finger. “there is one important ability you and Todoroki both need to master before either of you can become the kind of pro hero who can surpass All Might.”

While Bakugou raises an eyebrow at you, Todoroki curiously asks, “And what ability is that?” 

Your earlier smile returns as you turn to point at his and Bakugou’s chests. “The ability to capture people’s hearts by touching their hearts and making your own hearts more apparent to the people you’re trying to protect.”

Noticing their twin looks of confusion, you elaborate, “The reason All Might was such an amazing hero wasn’t just because he was strong and talented. It was because he was amazing at touching people’s hearts by showing them his own.”

You rest a hand over your heart. “All Might gave people hope because they knew that no matter what he would always protect them, not just because he was the strongest but because he genuinely cared about everyone. Everyone could tell that he would always go beyond Plus Ultra to protect them because he considered them all equally important.”

Your expression softens. “That’s how I felt whenever I watched him on TV and in my visions. I could see how much he cared about others and how nothing was more important to him than maintaining the peace and giving others hope.”

When you lift your gaze to look at your students, you see them watching you intently, wearing contemplative expressions, proving that they’re deeply considering your words.

“Real heroes have the ability to not only save people’s lives but also their hearts,” You softly say, “and to some people, the latter is the most important ability a hero can have.”

“And that includes you?” Bakugou solemnly asks as he holds your gaze.

The corners of your lips curve upwards. “It does, because I wouldn’t have made it this far if it weren’t for heroes that could save people’s hearts. That’s why I hope that you promising heroes-to-be will one day master that ability too.”

“I use the term ‘master’ because I’ve already experienced firsthand you both using such an ability. Although, I’m sure it wasn’t really intentional on either of your parts.” You add, earning some surprised looks from your students.

As you’re speaking, you think back to the I-Island incident and how Todoroki refused to leave your side and was determined to get you the medical attention you needed. Then, your memories drift toward the villain attack at the summer camp and how Bakugou refused to abandon you, even though it meant putting himself at risk.

Your smile softens. “One day, you both will able to intentionally touch people’s hearts in the same way you did mine. I have complete confidence in both of you since I know there’s nothing you two can’t do if you put your minds to it, so I have no doubt that you’ll both become amazing heroes that can outshine even All Might.”

For several seconds, your students just stare at you with slightly widened eyes, and then, Bakugou smirks, “Of course, I fucking will! I’m the guy who’s gonna be the next number one hero who surpasses All Might in every shape and form! I’ll master every fucking aspect of being a hero there is, so I’ll be the unequivocal number one!”

Todoroki nods, “I’ll work hard too, Sensei, to become a hero who can save lives and hearts. I won’t let you down.”

Grinning, you reach over to ruffle their hair. “I know. You two are always meeting and surpassing my expectations. This time won’t be any different.”

Both boys’ eyes gain a pleased gleam at your words, but Bakugou tries to hide it by averting his gaze. Rather than tease him about it, you just resume taking care of the rest of his injuries. 

As you’re doing this, Todoroki asks, “Do you think our training for our provisional licenses will help us get a better understanding of touching people’s hearts, or is that something we’re supposed to learn during our lessons here at UA?”

You hum thoughtfully. “I’m not sure what all the training for your provisional licenses entails, so I can’t say for sure about that. But as far as your school lessons are concerned, I’m sure you’ll eventually get lessons focused on that aspect of heroics. Although, I would think heroes-in-training would mostly get those kinds of lessons when they’re out in the field.”

Bakugou tilts his head. “Because it means interacting with actual civilians?”

Nodding, you give him an approving smile. “Exactly. The best way for heroes to touch people’s hearts is by learning how to understand the people they’re protecting, which happens by getting closer to them. Doing this helps both parties come to learn more about each other, which leads to trust building between them.”

After you finish tending to the last of Bakugou’s injuries, you begin putting up everything that you took out of the first aid kit. “Trust is key to touching people’s hearts. It’s important that you both become the kind of hero that people know they can trust and rely on no matter what happens.”

Once everything has been put away, you turn to face your students and smile, “You both have already proven to me that you’re strong and capable heroes that I can rely on and trust. Now, you just have to figure out how to do that with everyone else. It won’t be easy since social interactions aren’t really either of your forte, but I know you both can do it.”

While Todoroki gives you a determined nod, Bakugou just averts his gaze with a huff. “Obviously.”

Getting an idea, you cheerfully clap your hands together. “However, as your teacher, I shouldn’t make you do all that hard work without, at least, first imparting a little helpful advice.”

Once you have their undivided attention, you continue, “Obviously, as I mentioned before, one of the main things you both need to do is develop your own hero smile, so by the time you guys graduate, you must have a smile that can put everyone’s hearts at ease.”

As expected, Bakugou makes a face at your words while Todoroki just gives you another nod. Obviously, that one task in itself is going to be difficult for them due their personalities and typical demeanors, but you know smiling isn’t impossible for them. It’s just not something they choose to often do.

There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, as far as their daily lives are concerned. It’s only when they’re on the field, working as pro heroes, that they need to be able to implement what you consider to be one of a hero’s most important assets.

Once you’ve reaffirmed the importance of that ability, you decide to share the idea you came up with earlier. “Another important thing you two should work on is communicating with the people you’re supposed to protect in a way that will assure them that everything will be alright now that you’re there for them.”

With a grin, you wink, “And you should also make good use of those good looks you both have while you’re at it to win their hearts over even more.”

While Bakugou raises an eyebrow at you, Todoroki gives you a curious look. “How do we do that?”

Your grin grows. “I’ll show you! Just pretend you’re a civilian who got caught up in a villain attack, alright?”

Once you get a nod from him, you grab Todoroki’s hands and hold them in between yours. As he stares at you with a mixture of surprise and confusion, you hold his gaze and give him the most reassuring smile you can muster. “It’ll be alright. You’re safe now. I’m here, so you don’t need to worry anymore. I’ll protect you no matter what. I won’t let anyone lay a single finger on you.”’

You give his hands a reassuring squeeze as your smile softens. “So, don’t be scared. A look like that doesn’t suit your handsome face. The world would be much better off if you were smiling instead since a smile like yours can make even the darkest of days seem bright. That’s why I’ll fight with everything I have to protect that precious smile; I won’t let anyone ever take it away, I promise.”

While Bakugou gapes at you, Todoroki stares at you with slightly widened eyes. Obviously, you caught them both completely off guard with your performance.

When a few seconds pass without a response, you release Todoroki’s hands and grin, “So, what do you think, Todoroki? Did I make your heart skip a beat just now?”

He rests a hand over his heart. “There weren’t any irregularities with my heartbeat, but…”

“But?” You parrot, tilting your head curiously.

“My chest feels very warm now, all of a sudden.” Todoroki replies, “How strange.”

Giggling, you ruffle his hair. “That’s what it means to touch people’s hearts, Todoroki. That’s the kind of reaction you should be aiming for when you interact with the people you’re trying to protect.”

His expression appears thoughtful. “Come to think of it, I remember feeling similarly whenever I watched All Might on TV when I was a child. So, this is what it means to touch people’s hearts.”

Todoroki lifts his gaze to meet yours and gives you a small smile. “Thank you for showing me that, Sensei. I promise I’ll make good use of your example and your advice.”

“I have no doubt that you will.” You pat his head. “I have high hopes for you, Todoroki.”

When you later pull your hand away from his head, Todoroki adds, “I promise I’ll also take better care of my face in the future since I don’t want you or any of the other ladies of Japan to cry.”

A laugh escapes you. “Good to hear! You gotta take good care of that face of yours since it’s gonna be one of your greatest assets when you’re a pro hero.”

Bakugou, who has been quiet all this time, finally breaks his silence with a scoff. “Only if he ever learns how to stop being so fucking annoying all the time.”

While you give him an exasperated look, Bakugou rises to his feet and asks, “Are we done here, Sensei?”

With a sigh, you nod, “Yeah, I’m done treating both of your injuries, so you two are free to go. Sorry for keeping you both up when I’m sure you’re both beyond exhausted.”

Todoroki shakes his head. “You don’t need to apologize. If anything, we should be thanking you for staying up late for our sake. Right, Bakugou?”

The blond clicks his tongue. “Whatever.”

While the boys move to collect their briefcases containing their hero costumes, you quickly return the first aid kit to the kitchen before rejoining them in the living room. As you all begin heading for the elevators, you ask, “So, what did you think of the example I provided for Todoroki, Bakugou? Do you think that’s something you can do?”

“Of course, I can!” Bakugou huffs, “There’s nothing I can’t do, so I won’t have any issue doing something like that.”

Even though he says that, you have a feeling accomplishing such a task will be more difficult than he thinks once he finally tries it out, considering his less than ideal social skills. While you have full faith in him, there’s no doubt in your mind that he’ll struggle with this aspect of heroics for at least a little while since it’s completely foreign territory to him.

“I’m not as confident as Bakuguou since I’m not used to doing something like that, but I’m going to work hard.” Todoroki comments, “Hopefully, by the time we get our provisional licenses, I’ll be ready to try touching people’s hearts.”

“It might take you a little while, but you’ll definitely get there, Todoroki.” You assure him. “Until then, just keep working hard and doing your best like you always do.”

Around that time, the three of you come to a stop in front of the elevators. Just as you’re about to hit the button for the elevator you’ll be taking, you suddenly realize you had almost forgotten something very important. “I almost forgot!”

Both Todoroki and Bakugou, who were about to enter the elevator which will take them to the boys’ side of the dorm, pause at your exclamation. 

Before either of them can question you, you reach over to pat their heads, smiling all the while. “Welcome home, Bakugou, Todoroki. Good work today. I’m proud of you both.”

The two stare at you with surprise for a brief moment, and then, their features relax.

A slight smile rises to Todoroki’s lips. “I’m home, Sensei. Also, thank you for dinner and for taking care of my injuries.”

Bakugou averts his gaze. “I’m home.”

After a brief pause, he then mutters, “And thanks.”

Immediately, after those two words passes his lips, Bakugou hurries into the elevator before you can say anything else. Not wanting to be left behind, Todoroki quickly follows after him. 

Chuckling, you give them a parting wave. “Good night, you two. See you in the morning.”

Just before the elevator door closes, Todoroki returns the parting. You don’t hear anything from Bakugou, but you figure that’s to be expected. 

With a smile, you turn to enter the elevator that will take you to the girls’ side of the dorm. As you’re riding the elevator, you think back to the discussion you had with Todoroki and Bakugou.

Those two definitely both have the potential to become the kinds of heroes that can save people’s hearts. It won’t be easy, but I have full faith that they can overcome any obstacles that come their way.

Just as you think that, your Quirk activates, showing you a vision of your students in the midst of their provisional license training.

Feeling a mixture of amused and surprised, you watch as Ganga Orca declares that Bakugou, Todoroki, Inasa, and the girl Toga impersonated, Utsushimi  Camie, all have to participate in a special training where they have to win the hearts of a bunch of primary schoolers since he says what the heroes-in-training need is “heart”.

Seems like Ganga Orca and I were on the same page. What are the chances?

Looks like Todoroki will be getting a lesson on touching people’s hearts during his provisional license training after all. Unfortunately for him, it won’t be an easy lesson, considering how those primary schoolers have no interest in listening to anyone, not even the teacher they came with.

Of course, you still believe that your students can accomplish such a lofty task. You just have no idea how since you hadn’t considered giving them lessons on how to talk to small children.

That’s why you’re very eager to see what happens next in this vision since you want to see what your students will do. Just how will they win these children’s hearts?

Unfortunately, you don’t get all the details you were hoping for since a time skip occurs in your vision, preventing you from seeing how Todoroki and Bakugou will react to the crazy situation Ganga Orca has put them in.

Your disappointment doesn’t last long, however, when, after the time skip, you see all the children happily playing with the four students in charge of winning them over. 

All you can do is smile when you see all the smiling primary schoolers playing on large ice slides that were obviously made by Todoroki. Those are some great smiles you put on their faces, Todoroki. Good job. I knew you could do it.

Your smile grows when you see Bakugou telling a kid that he won’t be able to recognize his own weaknesses if he’s always looking down on others. Well said, Bakugou. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come.

Around that time, your vision comes to an end, just as the elevator doors open. As you move to exit the elevator, an immense rush of pride washes over you, making you beam.

You’re amazing, Todoroki, Bakugou. You two really can do anything when you set your minds to it. Looks like you’re gonna soon be one step closer to becoming the heroes you’re both striving to become.

And you couldn’t be more proud.