#trust issues are valid n you should keep em

[iwaasfairy]

bruh I need a break. I need the biggest break. And maybe the worlds longest nap for wtf kind of shitshow just thrust itself upon me tonight. we learned today my loves, to never ever trust anyone you don’t know veeerrryyy veeerrryy well with any even remotely personal info

[savnofilter]

no nuance november!

a/n: which is basically you have a bunch of opinions and dont explain any of em' and let your followers discuss them (much more suited for tiktok sjsnj). i'll be doing it since it compiles with many topics like fandom, racism, lgbtq+, politics and etc. i highly encourage people to do this simply because why not? feel free to send your own opinions n stuff, i wanna know what my followers think!!

disclaimer!! ⚠️ all of these are broad, not pin pointing certain people or situations. even though these are my opinions these were all in fun and have been collected over the years and will change as time goes on. nothing is sugar-coated so thread carefully. feel free to agree or disagree. :)

warning(s): mentions of racism, p*do micro aggression, fetishizing, toxicity, abuse, politics, labelling, mental health, cancelling, fandoms, ages.

key:

iswis = i said what i said, no explanation to that one.

whe = will happily explain.

stop sexualizing gay/m|m/yaoi relationships. it's not only demonizing to the males, it's also very fetishizing. (iswis)

most times /10 yall root for "feminine men" when you really mean white boys and fetishised asian men on social media. (whe)

bullying someone isnt educating. you either cant cope with the fact people have different opinions from you or you have a struggle with things either always never going your way or the opposite. (iswis)

straight people will never have a say in lgbtq+ issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

white people will never have a say in poc issues. stop inserting yourself. (iswis)

poc will never have a say in black people issues. stop inserting yourself. (vice versa but im black and it happens more often to us lol) (iswis)

using the defense, "but black lives matter, right?" when one black person does something bad isnt facts, youre racist. (iswis)

fandom adults need to stop gatekeeping the target audience (demographics) to animes/shows. (iswis)

poc people can be racist. (whe)

even if a certain site was adult doesnt mean that every adult wants to see your porn. either keep it to yourself or tag properly. (iswis)

saying shit like, "im more xyz than you and im not even xyz" is not only disrespectful but disgusting. just because you believe in a popular opinion of a group does NOT suddenly make you a person in it, get over yourself. (iswis)

dont hate on people for the same things you have done at a young age. (ex: writing fanfic, seggs, etc) (iswis)

blaming a minor/someone mentally unstable for being abused is not only victim blaming, but it enables the notion that people who go those things that they wanted it. (iswis)

going off of that last point, if you do victim blame for situations and been in them yourself you either still havent coped with what you went through and still think it was your fault when it wasnt. (whe)

it's stupid people hate minors for being undeveloped when adults are the reason as to why people get traumas, abused and quite literally are destroying the world right now. (iswis)

gen z is white as fuck. (iswis)

early 2000s kids are equivalent to 90s kids who use to post, "only 90s kids under this" and post something that 2000-5 experienced. (iswis)

dear 2005+ kids, abusing harmful substances and having sex doesnt make you grown. stop it. (iswis)

adults, being able to post porn doesnt make you grown or mature, stop believing that it does. (iswis)

just because it's a coping mechanism doesnt mean it's healthy. (iswis)

avoiding conflict doesnt mean youre mature. if there is an active problem and you know ignoring it will only benefit you and not the actual problem at hand that is selfish. (iswis)

black women generate clout for everyone. when we're hated the person gets patted on the back, someone appreciates black girls they are praised, and people of many groups repeatedly steal from our culture. (iswis)

YES THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING BLACK AND AFRICAN AMERICAN. (whe)

if youre black you do not have to be democrat OR republican, there are many other parties. (whe)

i do not trust either parties, no minority should. (whe)

this 2020 election was not a win for poc people no matter who won. (iswis)

we do not decide whether or not what to do on columbus day. it is up to the natives themselves. (whe)

pointing out other countries (current) faults is not racist. although the issue can be misconstrued, if proper research is done it safe to say it's an educated observation or opinion. (whe)

privilege heavily varies; ex, americans are seen as privileged, while the people who live in it experience a disadvantage because of the societal standards. within the country itself. (whe)

americans, stop saying that america is the worst country and there are other countries who are suffering much worse than we are. yes sometimes it sucks but do not label it as the worst. (iswis + whe)

white people are privileged and will always be until we break the racist issues deep rooted in EVERY community. (iswis)

9/10 when marginalized groups like (women, lgbt) are mostly focused on white people and never address the poc counter parts. using the excuse "well idk much about that" is not good enough and just promotes pseudo-white supremecy. (iswis + whe)

do not use aave. (iswis)

aave is not gen z language, stop calling it that. (iswis)

gay men (white especially) use black women and get praised for the things we do that are called ghetto. (iswis)

yes it is offensive if you touch a black persons hair with or without permission. we are not your pets nor zoo animals. (iswis)

and yes it is offensive if you see a black women with beautiful hair and assume it's fake or ask, "is it yours?" "is it real?" (iswis)

using jailbait as an excuse to lewd minors is just as disgusting. (iswis)

beauty standards for women is rooted from pedophilia. (iswis)

using other pedophilic relationships as an excuse to ship yours is disturbing and you shouldnt be near children at any capacity. (iswis)

everything doesnt need a label. (iswis)

the fact that gangs have been criminalized while mafias havent is racist and feeds the stereotypes that poc are criminals. (iswis)

people are more forgiving to white predators than to poc (neither are good but people let white off the hook more often). (iswis)

if youre okay with your friends being racists, creeps, abusers you are just as bad. (iswis)

although you can like what you like, making dark content shouldnt be as glorified as much as it is. (iswis)

some kinks do deserve to be kink shamed. (iswis)

adults need to be more held accountable when held in situations with minors. (iswis + whe)

everyone perceives the world differently, many people will see the same things you see differently. (iswis)

calling people crazy for questioning the things around them doesnt make them crazy, youre just asleep. (iswis)

the human body can function without a soul. (iswis)

stop disrespecting christianity. you wouldnt do the same with hinduism, islam and etc. (iswis)

the bible was altered by white men and the true meanings have been misconstrued. (iswis + whe)

bullying someone who you THINK is problematic is not excuse to be hateful. youre just scum and feel the need to justify your actions. (iswis)

not everyone has to like you and dont need a reason. (iswis)

just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to make a show of it. be mature and move along. (iswis)

yes callouts/cancelling has its place but it's never done right. (iswis)

"cancel culture" wasnt a thing till white people joined in. (iswis)

dont cancel someone for stuff they did years ago. bringing it up is important but not allowing them to understand, reflect, and apologize is not only bullying it defeats the purpose of bringing awareness. (iswis)

big writers need to stop complaining when one fic or a few dont do good. not only does it rub in small writers faces, it shows that if you need people's validation to write you probably shouldnt be writing. some works will be popular and some will flop, get over it. (iswis)

stop witch hunting & crucifying people for shit you have done or your friends have done and going "uwu sorry" when you get caught. (iswis)

90% people believe content creators with bigger audiences. (iswis)

people spontaneously posting, "uwu take care of your mental health" doesnt mean that they actually care. (iswis)

people are always quick to judge people with real mental health such as depression, anxiety, adhd, and etc are always the one to turn and pretend to be exactly what they just mocked. (iswis)

dont have kids if youre not going to take care of them. (iswis)

stop baiting baby otakus (people freshly getting into anime) into watching cp like yarichin bitch club or boku no pico. they are minors, it's not funny, stop it. (iswis)

stop being protective & toxic over anime characters. if they were real they probably wouldnt even like you. (iswis)

just because someone is your friend doesnt mean that they arent toxic or abusive. (iswis)

start believing when people show their true traits. (iswis)

trauma happens in different forms, stop saying something didnt happen because it didnt go the way that has commonly happened or the way it occurred to you. (iswis)

stop saying minors should "know" while also being the loudest to say that our brains arent even developed till 25. (iswis)

the adult age should be raised to 20 years old. (iswis + whe)

tos should be raised to 16 years old. (iswis + whe)

minors take "18+" & "minors dni" out of your bio. (iswis)

yelling at minors for finding the content you freely put out without any care is your fault not theirs. (iswis)

there are plenty of adult sites that are more confined for adults but you guys ignore them because youd rather get popular on writing erotica on a popular social media platform. (iswis)

trying to cancel someone over one mistake and or blowing said things out of proportion is toxic and stupid. (iswis)

if you take someone saying they need to distance themselves for mental health reasons personally and make them feel bad for it youre an actual shitty person. (iswis)

if someone disrespects you, you have the right to say whatever you want in response. (iswis + whe)

stop hypersexualizing everything (adults especially). (iswis)

the excuses of, "they look grown" "i mentally think xyz" "theyre fake" is creepy and weird and yall should come up with a better excuse. (iswis)

yes i do believe minors should be writing for minors only, but i will not give a shit if an adult does if said characters are aged up in every work sfw or not. (iswis)

stop saying teens cant go through traumatic things and cant experience mental illnesses. it just shows that you werent cared for as a child and never get the therapy for it. (iswis)

gen z has a very colonized idea of activism. (iswis)

feminism was never for all women until the rest of us forced ourselves in. and even now it's still an issue whether or not people realize it or not. (iswis)

poc solidarity doesnt exist as much as we try to make it happen. (iswis)

colorism is an issue, and no you will not tell me otherwise. (iswis)

the hot cheeto girl is offensive and demeans black & hispanic culture. (iswis)

stop bashing minors for breathing, just say youre mad youre not young anymore and move on. (iswis)

black men are the white people of black people. (iswis)

there is no reason as to why you anyone would refer to black people as "blacks". nor should you (non-black people) be arguing whether or not to say nigga even with the hard r. (iswis)

if you (pertains to white people) think white privilege doesnt exist but go on to make fun of or ignore minority problems you are the living and breathing example of what we are talking about. (iswis)

loli/shotas are fucking disgusting and people who like it deserve to be tortured for eternity. (iswis)

seriously, stop using theyre "fake" as an excuse. (iswis)

if youre comfortable with being hateful to someone but still consider yourself a nice person because you do the hate minimum to be a decent human, youre either a narcissist or have a god complex. (iswis)

coons have no say in black issues. (iswis)

people need to stop blaming the "home wrecker" for ruining the relationship when it was the s/o's fault as well. there is no home to enter without an owner. (iswis)

stop saying any asian man yo see reminds you of a haikyuu character and or any anime character. it's racist. (iswis)

stop saying any asian person looks like a kpop idol, it's racist. (iswis)

stop downplaying and invalidating when black women go through traumatic things. not only does it promote that we have to be strong and save everyone else's problems, it says that we dont have emotions and cant be a victim which is disgusting. (iswis)

if you say shit like "minors curate your own experience" then go and turn around to say you REFUSE TO TAG YOUR SHIT YOU ARE LITERALLY MAKING THE PROCESS OF CENSORING HARD! (iswis)

white women are just as much of a problem as white men. only difference is sex keeping them apart. (iswis)

stop saying kpop is racist. expecting artists from a different political progression to understand that things can be offensive is bland. (iswis)

people accept boy groups fuck-ups more than they accept girl groups. and most times out of ten, the males are worse. (iswis)

if you engage in nsfw conversation with a minor, it is your fault they responded. (iswis)

anyone can be abused. (iswis)

stop coddling adults and bullying minors. (iswis)

most of you females have internalized misogyny and dont even know it. (iswis)

you can callout issues without having to drag a group of people. same with uplifting. (iswis)

if youre fine with being a sheep unfollow me. (iswis)

seven deadly sins is not a good anime. (iswis)

there is a difference between boku no hero academia fans based on if they call it "bnha" or "mha". (iswis)

ships literally are not serious stop harassing people over ships. (iswis)

do not harass creators of series because they do something with THEIR story. make your own. (iswis)

stop saying horikoshi sexualizes his women too much/mineta is the worst when you guys enjoy shows like one piece, hunter x hunter, naruto and etc. (iswis)

minors often or not are sheeps (heres your sign you dont have to agree with everything other people say). (iswis)

just because minors can be mature doesnt mean that they are adults. stop treating them as such. (iswis)

we should give more voice actors in the asmr (idk what to call it) community more recognition instead of just one. (iswis)

writers are the ones that send hate to other writers. anon hate is so corny and if you do it that goes to show that you are truly a toxic person wearing a fake mask of kindness when youre not on anonymous. (iswis)

stop being mean to smaller writers because they did not have as much luck as you. (iswis)

stop blaming your readers because one story flopped. (iswis)

ignoring someone's shitty actions encourages them to do it more. (iswis)

going to school and getting a job is much harder now than it was before. (iswis)

being an adult doesnt automatically make you mature. just because youre older doesnt mean youre better or you opinion is more valuable. it just shows that you werent heard when you were younger. (iswis)

there should be no reason as to why someone of the age of 18 should be having any romantic relationship with someone who is a minor. (iswis)

hawks is a shitty character. (iswis)

bakudeku isnt toxic. (iswis)

just because bakugo is in a ship, doesnt mean it's toxic. (iswis)

stop shipping male characters together simply because they have screen time together. it's creepy. (iswis)

almost all of 1-a students have ptsd and anything close to the after effects of being traumatized. (iswis)

no, editing characters to be poc is not racist. youre just mad they arent "white" when they never were. theyre asian and come in many colors as well. (iswis)

wanting to only be with a different race to get a mixed baby is fucking disgusting. (iswis)

stop ignoring pedo relationships between older women and younger boys and or with older women in general. (iswis)

males can be abused, stop telling them to suck it up or that they cant go through things. (iswis)

shaming young females about things they cant control is misogynistic and is damaging to their identity and shouldnt be excused. (iswis + whe)

not all females have to shave. (iswis)

what you dont like in someone is the projections you see of yourself on other people that you dont like about yourself. (whe)

popular bl stories extremely misrepresent gay relationships and frankly it's disgusting that theyre boosted as much as they are. (iswis)

jjba isnt ugly, you just watch animes to sexualize the characters. (iswis)

it's shitty that anime and kpop only became cool once white people stated to like it and made it mainstream. go gatekeep family guy or something. (iswis)

if you have been anime fan for a long time you were with bullied/teased for just generally liking it or you were a weirdo who recreated shit from it. (iswis)

weaboo and weeb were bad terms till we made them positive?? literally otaku is the word for it but we use weeb instead lol. (whe)

normalize and promote educating someone without going straight to bullying them. (whe)

haikyuu isnt really a good manga/anime nor is the art style the best but the characters make up for it. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to manipulate your narrative. (iswis)

toxic positivity is manipulative and if you have to make it back handed you are not as nice as you like to make it seem. (iswis)

studying a major doesnt mean youre actually good in the subject. (iswis)

normalize people realizing their past mistakes and growing from it. (iswis)

do not self diagnos unless you actually feel like you may have that issue and would like to seek help. mental health is not a personality trait. (iswis)

stop projecting onto people. (iswis)

stop misusing terms and stop nitpicking definitions to fit your narrative. (iswis)

stealing any type of work should not be tolerated. (iswis)

constantly trying to trigger someone to go back to their old ways (being toxic, abusive, addiction, suicidal etc) after changing is toxic and manipulative. (iswis)

if you make jokes about hurting kids and or feel the need speak badly about them i do not want to speak to you. (iswis)

the human brain wasnt developed to understand complex ideas such as death or the universe. (iswis)

we will never truly know what is beyond our skies. (iswis)

thats all, thanks for sifting!

[thorne93]

Old Flame, New Problems (Part 4)

Prompt: You’re in a serious relationship with Sebastian Stan, when news from your first love informs you that he’s now single and in need of a friend. Will your old flame burn out or will the flames get fanned and consume you?

Word Count: 2913

Warning: language, angst, fighting (verbal), cheating, drama

Notes: This idea came to me when news hit about Hayden and Rachel splitting. Of course I’m sad that a long time relationship such as theirs is ending, but it also means he’s single sooo…Also, no hate towards Rachel. I don’t know her, don’t know what really happened between them, etc. It’s a fic and in no way reflects what I think of either of them or their precious daughter ^.^

Beta’d by my #1 gal @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr​ @kaeling

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock @lenawiinchester @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi @memory-of-a-goldfish @mellsstark

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Laying on your bed, you were talking to Seb.

“God, I miss you so much,” Sebastian breathed into the phone. It’d been four months without seeing each other and it was killing you, bringing up old fears and old worries you didn’t want to visit.

“I know, I miss you too,” you echoed, the devastation in your voice. “How much longer?”

“Two months,” he answered with sorrow. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s your career, you have to be there,” you assured, but deep down, you were breaking, terrified history was repeating itself.

“I love you. You’re so supportive. We’ll make it through,” Seb promised.

Jet lagged, but happy that your five short stories had been sent in, you were just about back to your home. All in all, you’d spent about a week at Hayden’s farm. The entire time, you either wrote, cooked, or chilled out and watched movies or shows. You played cards a couple of times but all in all, it was relaxed. It was a nice change of pace from the galas, book signings, premieres, and other soirees you attended.

Being with Hayden felt...right...It felt natural, casual, laid back. You remembered that was how it was while you dated. Lazy days in the apartment, you scribbling away on your stories and Hayden practicing lines right next to you.

The entire time was spent with you trying to drown out old emotions that had never truly gone away. Time was a funny beast like that. They say it heals all wounds, but in this case there were no wounds to heal.

Every time he looked at you, got near you, touched you, gave you that shy smile, you felt yourself falling for him all over again. Considering you and Hayden never had closure, it was somewhat natural to feel the way you did. No one cheated. No one drifted. No one strayed. No one gave up. That was the tragedy of it. You two were very much in love, but neither one of you would ask the other to give up their dreams, so the dreams won. They broke your hearts and you moved on...Or at least, you tried to. There was a reason most men didn’t last with you a full year.

Despite being captivated by him still though, you remembered Sebastian, how could you not? He was wonderful too. It wasn’t fair to him to feel or think the things you were so you continually locked them away and burying them. Except for that tragically awful kiss. Hayden had asked if you would tell Sebastian and you said you would when the time was right, hopefully soon.

But now you were back to reality, back to your life with Sebastian, your current love. You unlocked the door, a happy Spinee greeting you with a wagging tail.

“Hey, buddy! I missed you too,” you sweetly said to him as you pulled your luggage into the home. You were tired, not to mention tense. All of the interactions between you and Sebastian had been strained. He wasn’t thrilled about you staying there, or writing there, or anything, it seemed. And you were upset that he didn’t call or text more, when you’d sent several messages. You knew he was working, but he did have the time while getting ready, going to the table reads, and lunch.

You stood up, ready to just throw your stuff in the bedroom and sleep, but a sight kept you from doing just that.

Rose petals.

They led a short distance to the dining room to the right. Your eyes followed them, and they led you to your boyfriend. Sebastian stood in one of his nice, expensive button downs and jeans, his hair combed and slicked back, on the edge of the dining room. He had a soft smile planted on his face as he looked at you and you couldn’t help but smile back.

“What’s going on?” you asked, confused by his attire.

“An apology dinner,” he informed with that smile that always took your breath away. He walked over to you and kissed you, deep, a “welcome home kiss” as it were. He grabbed your hand and pulled you to a beautifully set table. “I was an ass. You were helping a friend and I should’ve been more supportive. Despite your history, I should be able to trust you, and I do. So, to make up for my behavior, I made dinner.”

“Seb…” you started, a happy tear coming to your eye while your insides melted and twisted in torment simultaneously. “This is so nice.”

“I’m glad you noticed, I went through a lot of effort,” he said with a cocky grin that made you wrinkle your nose and grab him to kiss him.

“So what’d you make?” you asked excitedly as you sat on one end of the table.

“Steaks with bleu cheese sauce, roasted potatoes, and a salad. Is that okay?” he asked, his concerned eyes searching yours for validation.

“Yes, babe, it’s perfect. Thank you.”

The two of you began to dig into the food when Sebastian continued his apology. “I really am sorry. I should’ve supported you. You were just being a good friend...I also shouldn’t have given you a hard time on finally being able to write. That’s your career, and I’m happy for anything that progresses it...Even if it is spending a week with your ex,” he muttered with a teasing tone and wink. “So how’s he doing?”

The mention of Hayden instantly sent a surge of panic, regret, and dread through you.

“He’s not dealing with it,” you answered honestly, trying to keep your composure. “He’s suppressing his feelings. I tried to get him to open up but he was being his typical self…”

“Did he say why they split up?” he wondered while cutting into his steak.

You shrugged. “His anxiety...depression...his general hermit-ness.”

“Ah,” Seb noted.

You nodded in agreement. “Yep…” There was a hint of annoyance in your tone. Rachel and you had never, ever gotten along. You had tried. You tried very, very hard to get along. She didn’t want anything to do with it though. For her to leave him because of his mental issues felt so wrong to you, like a betrayal.

“Not in agreement?”

“I think it’s just odd to wait ten years, and three years post baby to leave him. Ten years is a long time to figure out you’re unhappy,” you stated.

“Everyone’s different, babe. Maybe the kid shone some light on things she was missing in life. You have to respect both of their decisions to split.”

“I know,” you sighed. “I just don’t like seeing him hurt.”

Seb gave you a half smile, and nod. “Because you’re a good person.”

-----------------------

After the delicious dinner, Sebastian showed you just how much he had missed you in all the best possible ways. He spent two days with you either in bed or going out to dinner and it seemed like just the ticket. His attentative affection made you forget about the recent problems you two were having and it made you focus on the good.

But now was the time for returning to the real world. You had a lot of press to cover for your novel that released a couple months ago, and Seb had to do his promotion for his new movies.

Today, you would be on Good Morning America to talk about your new book.

“Good luck today,” Sebastian wished you as he got ready for his day and you were putting the finishing touches on your outfit. You chose work slacks, a silver silk blouse and a french twist for your hair.

“Thank you,” you softly responded.

“You’re gonna knock ‘em dead,” he assured. “Don’t be nervous.”

“Easy for you to say, you’re the life of every party,” you commented with a smirk in the mirror.

“It’s your book, they’re there to ask you about your book, it’s not gonna be hard,” he promised.

You smiled and nodded. “Well, you liked it, right?” you questioned.

“I haven’t gotten around to reading it, but I will,” he promised. Instantly, sorrow and anger flared within you. He couldn’t read your book on the plane while he traveled? Or in betweens shots while filming? Or a few pages before bed? He hadn’t read your last book either, or the last few short stories you did. Was it so hard or so awful to ask for your boyfriend to read your work?

“But...you said you’d read it two months ago when it came out,” you retorted lightly.

He gave you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, babe. I haven’t had a chance is all. I will get to it though.”

“I need to get going,” you stated glancing at the clock on the wall in your bedroom.

“Okay, I love you,” he said as you leaned forward to give him a goodbye kiss.

“Love you too,” you stated, ignoring the guilt that was slowly ebbing away at your soul.

A rather short ride--for New York--to the Good Morning America set. From there they gave you more makeup, messed with your hair, and then they were calling you out.

“So happy to have you here with us today, Y/N,” Robin stated as you all began.

“Well thank you so much for having me,” you responded with a wide grin, ignoring how the cameras and lights made you feel.

“So you have a new book out!” Robin exclaimed happily.

“Yes, yet another one,” you said with a small smile.

“Now tell us about this one,” she instructed kindly.

“Well it’s about a young woman who falls in love with someone she shouldn't, and it deals with the aftermath,” you explained, trying to sound casual.

“Oh,” she responded with a fun face. “Sounds very interesting!”

The two of you went on to talk about the book, your upcoming book tour, and other works you have in the bag right now. Then at the end, they said where your book was available. The show ended, they wished you a good day, and you left.

Just as you were walking out of the building, you got a phonecall from Hayden.

“Hey,” you greeted cheerily as you answered.

“Hey, I saw the show. You looked good!”

Your face lit up at his words. “Thanks. I didn’t feel it,” you admitted.

“No you really did. I loved the ending of it. Very poetic. A little Jane Austen, but great, nonetheless,” he offered and you could practically feel his smile through the phone.

“You read it?” you asked in surprise delight, stopping in your tracks on the sidewalk.

“Well yeah, Y/N, I read everything you write,” he informed as if it were obvious.

“That’s so sweet. Thank you, Hayden, for your support.”

“Hey, you don’t need my support,” he said with a laugh.

A cheerful smile popped onto your face and you started walking again. “No, I suppose I don’t need it, but it’s still incredibly nice.”

“Think nothing of it. Your works always been amazing, but like fine wine, it gets better with age.”

“Now who’s the poet?” you teased.

“Maybe I’ve been inspired,” he said in a sweet voice.

Your heart stuttered at his words.

“So...have you told Sebastian yet?” he questioned.

The pit of guilt in your stomach grew five sizes. “No...Not yet.”

“You need to tell him, Y/N, he deserves to know.”

You nodded and swallowed, your heart hammering and palms sweating just thinking about it.

“I know. I know I do. I just…”

“Don’t wait for the right time,” he interjected. “There is no right time to tell him. Do it as soon as you can, in person. The longer you wait, the worse it will get.”

Sighing, you admitted defeat. He was right.

“You’re right. Yeah. Okay. I’ll tell him tonight when he comes home.”

------------------

There was practically a hole in your floor by the time Sebastian came home, you’d been pacing so much, wringing your hands, and muttering to yourself about how you’d finally tell him.

He opened the door and smiled at you, the expression sending a knife right through your chest.

“Hey, babe. How was the show?” he asked before coming over to give you a quick kiss.

“It was okay...Uh...Seb, we need to talk,” you said, the knots multiplying rapidly in your stomach and your chest constricting. You may be about to lose your boyfriend, the man you were in love with, for one minute of idiocy.

He frowned and put his hands on his hips. “That’s never good,” he said in a serious tone. “What’s up?”

“No easy way to say this, so I’m just going to say it. Hayden and I...we...kissed,” you started and as soon as Seb’s face changed from concern to a blank expression, you added, “but I stopped it. It didn’t go any further. It didn’t mean anything. That’s why I’m telling you now.”

He ran his tongue on the inside of his cheek as his eyebrows raised and he looked down at the floor.

“Wow….Okay,” he said.

Your breathing stopped as you stared at him.

“Why?” he asked, looking back up at you.

“I don’t know,” you admitted. “It just happened.”

“It just happened,” he echoed in a humorless tone, with a small laugh coming out of his nose. “This...This is exactly why I didn’t want you going up there,” he said angrily, his eyes flashing to yours.

“Sebastian, please. I didn’t mean for this to happen,” you tried desperately.

“No, it just happened,” he repeated, throwing your own words back at you, his voice raising.

“I stopped it. I told you. It didn't mean anything,” you said again.

“So you just threw everything we have away for a kiss?” he demanded, his eyes narrowing on you.

“No! No. It’s not like that. I just...I had a moment of weakness. Seb, I’m sorry. I really am. If I could take it back, I would.”

“We have a home, Y/N,” he said, gesturing with his hands how dire this was. “We live together. We’re practically married and you do this...Our relationship meant so little to you?”

“No! I love you! Our relationship means everything to me.”

“Clearly! That’s why you couldn’t last a week with your ex. I should’ve known better. I did know better…”

You didn’t know what else to say.

“We made a commitment to each other, Y/N, and you couldn't honor that. I love you,” he said, angry, his face pinching into rage.

“I know! Okay? I fucked up! I’m sorry! I wish it never happened. But it did and I’m trying to deal with this responsible way.”

“Responsible? You think it’s responsible to betray me, come home and act like nothing happened, lie to my face for days, and then telling me makes you the hero?”

“I never said that,” you countered, your teeth clenching. You took a deep breath.

“When did it happen? When you walked in the door? That night? When?”

“Two nights before I left,” you quietly answered, your eyes not on him. You couldn’t bear the thought of looking at him right now.

“We talked on the phone twice after that,” he spat, furious. “You didn’t think to mention it?”

“I wasn’t sure I wanted to since it didn’t mean anything,” you shouted back.

He threw his hands about in an angry gesture. “Oh, so you thought you’d just make out with him and then lie to me about nothing happening. I thought I could trust you.”

“You can,” you argued evenly.

“How can I? When your ex from over ten years ago becomes single and within a week, you’re already betraying me to make out with him?” he demanded, yelling at you. “Is that really all it took? Was a simple, ‘Oh, hey, I’m single now, come up and see me’? And you’re chasing after him?”

“I didn’t chase anyone! I went up thinking I’d be there for a friend.”

“Seems like it worked. You got him to forget all about Rachel,” he remarked, glowering at you.

You were getting angry at this point. “I fucked up, I owned up to it. I’m human, Sebastian, I make mistakes.”

“Clearly so do I,” he responded, his eyes burning on yours.

That hurt...a fucking lot. His words felt like a bullet striking your chest.

“Sebastian,” you breathed, feeling the coldness spread within you.

“Do you love him?” he demanded in a low voice.

You thought for a moment. You hadn’t even asked yourself that question. Possibly, because the answer scared the shit out of you.

“It’s a yes or no answer, Y/N,” he barked. “Do. you. love. him?” he asked, punctuating each word.

“I don't know,” you answered honestly, the tears just at bay.

He shook his head, his body shaking from rage. “I can’t do this. I can’t fucking do this.” He turned around and started to head toward the door.

“Sebastian, no, wait!” you begged, running toward him, grabbing his arm.

“Let go of me, Y/N. I can’t be here right now.”

You didn’t want to let him go. You wanted to sit and sort all of this out. But you needed to give him space. Releasing his arm and stepping back, he didn’t look back at you before storming out and slamming the door behind him.