#I honestly dont know if theres anything but Maybe
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wanna bring parents into this? okay, let’s do it then.
at least my mother was watching me. at least i have a mother. a mother that cared for me like a child rather than a pet, she didnt see me as a toy to be used and played with, she saw me as an actual person.
the same cant be said for you now, can it? all the guardians in your life see you as a mere trophy, a toy to be used and shown off until it loses its charm. when you die, no one will mourn you. the aliens will be focused on the new winner of alien stage, your guardian will be looking for the next pet human to raise, there will be no one to mourn your death in the way that my mother mourns mine.
when the world felt like it was caving in, i always knew that deep down that there would be at least one person who loves me, no matter what. i knew that my mom would always love me, even if she wasnt with me for a majority of my life.
the love she gave me is something i cherished right until my final breath. honestly it makes me pity you, the idea that you have no one in your life who will love you and hold you in their heart truly like a mother does. maybe if you did, you wouldve turned out different. maybe you wouldve actually made meaning of your life instead of following instructions given to you.
maybe you wouldve thought twice about entering the show again.
my mother cared and loved me so much that she didnt want me to sing because she knew id end up on the show, but my voice was so beautiful that she couldnt help but indulge me and sing alongside me. she made me find my love for singing and music. theres a difference between us, luka. i genuinely love music and i love to sing. its something i enjoy, and i discovered that because of my mother.
you on the other hand were taught to sing because you were created to win alien stage. maybe if you had loving parents, you would realize the impact music has- or the impact it could have. your music is soulless, made purposefully for entertainment. the aliens went wild over ivans song because of the emotion he put behind it, emotions that he felt, experienced, and lived through.
you havent felt anything like that. youre only a puppet, a husk. nothing more.
at the end of the day, i know that at least one person cared about my death, seeing it as the death of a real person instead of a mere pet. my mom saw my death as a person losing their life for the sick and twisted entertainment of aliens.
i have that unwavering love and care from my mother, you dont. you dont have anyone to care about you in that way.
no one cares about you enough to see you as more than a mere pet.
my hands are fucking freezing. what the hell is going on.
#OOC: wanna be evil? ok! let’s be evil!#alien stage#alnst#alien stage till#till alien stage#alnst till#till alnst#till
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I could not resist the urge to Critter That Fella. So. Silly doodles
#sif stuff#isat#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#I honestly dont know if theres anything but Maybe#i love to give a fellow a snout
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i’m slowly making my way through reign of x atm and its like the comics are just remembering they need to feed me or something every now and then
i need more of my favorite bald guy 😭
i can accept magneto every so often BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH EUGHH
#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#x men#cherik#professor x#magneto#x comics#maybe i should re-read hox/pox cause i’m missing them like a mf#i feel so out of place talking about comics when i’ve barely read anything#i need this catsuit wearing honorary twink to show up more istg#imagine if marvel one day decided to make a krakoa type movie how tf would they do that#i genuinely dont know what storyline they’d do or what CAUSE THERES SO MUCH GOING ON#probably be a good idea if they didn’t attempt it honestly#i think i just need more xmen movies 😔#HURRY UP MCU I NEED MUTANTS STAT#yapping in the tags once again#do people even read these?#i dunno lol
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kuroba toichi you need to stay dead or im going to fucking kill you myself
#you sick son of a bitch#if you truly love your son you wouldnt be alive#it's bad enough that you basically left the mantle for your teenage son to take up but you actually being alive????????#you just out there living your life while your son is destroying his relationships chasing after something that you started????????#his very motivation is your death and it's not even real??? the utter fucking betrayal???#and maybe being kid has kade him a better magician and has helped him find out more about himself#but he shouldve been able to have a choice if he even wanted to be kid at all it shouldnt have been a responsibility pushed upon him#AND IF YOU ARE FUCKING ALIVE AND YOU'RE JUST WATCHING YOUR SON RUNNING AWAY FROM THE POLICE WITH PRIDE INSTEAD OF GUILT YHEN YOU CAN#GO FUCK YOURSELF#Honestly the worst#also that theory that maybe chikage is travelling the world because she KNOWS toichi is alive and she's with her elevates this fuckery into#a whole different level#anyway go read cuethesun's tomorrow and the next day#good fucking food and bad parent chikage and toichi enjoyers will be pleased ;>#lol#dc prattles#as much as i want happy everybody is alive kuroba family#i need touichi and chikage if she knows too to feel the repercussions of their horrible parenting and i need kaito to be able to let himself#feel the hurt and betrayal that he is justified to feel even if he is happy that his dad is alive#but i dont trust gosho to handle that nicely if anything i think hes gonna just handwave it and wont address it properly#anyway my point is i just need more hurt and angry kaito also if shinichi is there im happy#sorry i sneaked in a kaishin i cant stop the brainrot unfortunately theres no cure 🤚😔#ALSO DONT GET ME STARTED WITH BAD PARENT KUDOS OOOOOHHHH
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Kai cenat is gonna play bloodborne im sorry but im gatekeeping
#nothing against the guy i appreciate his enthusiasm#yet this will draw some attention from the more... well! not so versed people#i dont know but frol all the souls games bloodborne feels like the one you gotta take more delicately#maybe its the lore or worldbuilding but honestly#i dont want to see new fans take us back to the gehrman discourse#neither with the doll or anything i hate when female characters get watered down to jack off material#and considering in bloodborne theres quite a lot of them that are wonderful ladies with their flaws im afraid they wont appreciate them#same with the males! especially if we are speaking of lets say laurence micolash etc all those guys#people sometimes refuse to put aside characters deeper lores in exchange of a shallow view#and honestlt even if NOT everyone will get into the lore it just feels like#if youre not gonna bother with the lore dont just go around talking smack ykwim#ughhhjhhhhhhhh#i just dont like the brainrot fans they got 3 jokes and none of them are funny#im fucking sick of sellen fj jokes they are repetitive#even worse when the fj jokes are under cosplayer vids like didnt we learn decorum#good lord sorry for the yap im a little pissed
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I've been an xtc fan for like almost 15 years and boy crazy for musicians I like all my life but I still could not tell you whether or not I'm attracted to andy partridge like I've kind of never decided
#i do certainly still have a parasocial attachment with him of epic proportions i love that man#not that it matters but just its funny to me . like honestly i still dont know how to answer the question .. um like complicated.#I dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww....#but my thing is theres like 1 blonde man in the entire world i would let hit Maybe two#and this is not out of principle or anything i just love dark hair on guys sooo much . anyways Puts my cap back on my glitter gel pen
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holy moly. just hit 1k. thank you!!
#i didnt prepare anything for 1k honestly#this feels like it happened so quick even though its been over the course of several months#i believe when i came back here i was at around 70? then got to like 200 and then it just went up#800 for the daves i guess. and the few that came here for other stuff#and honestly i dont know what this blogs about now i just wanted to post everything here. and i like the tagging system so if you dont like#something you can mute it i guess? im not big into fnaf rn as theres nothing for me currently. if theres a hw dlc i might hop back in#as well as for any new games coming out#but hw2 was so short lived since the gameplay was out i a day and theres not much to theorize about etc. replayability is fine but#its not something to help me stay. and the movie did nothing for me and im worried i wont like the second either so im just focusing on#the games i guess. but then again no william no interest now. just how it be.. thats why im so whiny about the tse game#lotsa thoughts#on a positive note i luv sam and max now and if theres new stuff for sonic scu over the year i will bring that maybe#as well as sonic x shadow gens but thats a long way to go still#anyway. tldr thanks for following i hope theres something on my blog that will still interest you 🫡
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people are always talking about what sonic games they think should be remastered and honestly. i dont think i want a full on remaster for any sonic game not even the ones i really like. i think if they wanna bring older games to current consoles they should just port them mostly unchanged aside from maybe adjusting the controls and other necessary changes
#honestly the very obviously from 2001 graphics and janky audio add to the charm of sa2#i dont want a sonic adventure 2 with modern graphics and perfect audio done by the current voice cast it just wouldnt be the same#sonic unleashed is another game i see get thrown around a lot in these conversations. what even IS there to remaster with that one#maybe im just biased because its my favorite but i genuinely cant think of anything you could improve upon there for a remaster ???#like i know theres some gameplay aspects people dont like but i dont think those are the kinds of things they would be changing#i do think a switch port thats just the xbox version but with the wii versions motion controls would be really fun though
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I don't just want to be loved
I want to be owned
Proudly, loudly
And adored
Take me
Bite me
Hurt me
Just so I know I'm yours
I don't want you to
Lust over my body
I want you to
Live for my words
Keep me
Hold me
Love me
As your only equal in this world
Stay with me
Stand next to me
Overpower me
Because I hold all the power over you
It's a give and take relationship
That is only bad until it's good
No one can take you away from me
Because I would kill them before they could
We can love each other in our own way
It's us against the world
#can you tell im obsessed with hannigram?#its just that i envy their relationship. i know wtf is wrong with me.#but as an ace maybe aro person theres just something about what these two have that i crave#honestly and im going to regret saying this but i have the urge to be bitten by someone or even to bite them back#ive had this thought before but after reading this amazing hannigram fic ive realised that im so messed up lol#i want the inticimy not the sex#i dont just want to be loved i want to be the only thing that matters#after being seen as less worthy just because of my gender. i will not settle for anything other than equals#poetry#poem#hannibal#hannigram#will graham
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#putting this in tags to not bug people but if theres one place to talk to yourself about gender stuff it's tumblr#so I'm afab and I present pretty feminine espexlcially at work#I've gone by she/her all my life irl but honestly??#if someone used they/them or he/him or any other pronouns I'd just be fine with it#idk if that makes sense but I just..... don't care? or mind??#it started at work funnily enough#my coworker referred to me as 'guy' before correcting herself jokingly and... MAN. DID MY HEART FLUTTER FOR THE REST OF THE DAY LMAO#idk this is probably literally nothing but idk I dont think others think about this stuff this much#so anything is fine!! I'm Han I'm an insurance broker I'm engaged and I don't know what the FUCK my gender is at this point but#I'm not bothered by it really#maybe some cool trans or enby peeps know the word for this but eehhhhhhh I'm not bothered with it
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Since you mentioned it, what did you think of Speak No Evil? I was thinking of watching it myself :0
i really liked it ............ my friend scoffed at me when i told her i was watchin it so take my opinion with a grain of salt tho </3
#snap chats#SHE DIDNT EVEN WATCH IT BUT W/E SPOILER FREE QUICK REVIEW DOWN HERE HIIII <3<3<3<3#ive been made aware my tastes are. Questionable so proceed with caution vlklvjv im so sorry if i convince you to see it and you dont like i#moving on I Have. done nothing but listen to Eternal Flame for the past week its been stuck in my head ever since#BUT FR as i said I Really Liked It. i heard that theres another/original version so i wanna watch that at some point#if i care to remember and find it vjaelkjeakl but as This Movie On Its Own i had a swell time !!!#it does a really good job of teetering that line of#'this is just a quaint little sometimes-awkward get-together' and 'this is so stressful i just might throw up'#it did a good job of keeping me invested and on my toes i guess- it bitters innocuous scenarios really well which i like#like i wasnt sure WHEN whatever scene i was watching would turn sour but i always had that feeling it /would/- that lingering feeling#the horror in this is more psychological than violent- it only gets crazy by the last quarter honestly#which isnt bad! i like psych horror and Christ. the amount of times i was just grimacing in my seat like Suspense Is The Word#like imagine a dinner party where people only say controversial things and you dont want to blow up the situation#so you just try to be really polite about pivoting from the topic. but they keep going. thats basically the horror of this movie at its cor#i do have SOME comments about some bits but i wanna rewatch the movie at some point to be thorough on my comments jglejlakj#yk do a rewatch where im. NOT jokin bout with my brother- THO TBF DESPITE THAT I was still invested#like its premise is so. simple? in concept imo. but 'simple' isnt automatically bad in my eyes and i really liked how it played out#i dont watch movies much tho so maybe its been done different but there is ONE thing tht definitely made me like. HUH#but its nothing super major i dont htink? I MEAN IT WAS KINDA BIG BUT there were signs to it being revealed. still it made me vjLJ like god#i cant explain tho cause SPOILERS but ... Yeah. its not that crazy it just definitely took me by surprise for how quick the reveal was#tldr: if you ever wanted to watch an awkward dinner party where you couldnt do anything about it this is the movie to watch#and i like that. i like that because i hate myself apparently jVLAEKJVAEKLJ#coupled with horror it was also funny at times which i felt did help with that underlying 'when will this be tainted' horror#i really liked that ... when normalcy or the feeling of safety can be taken away in an instant#if you watch it and wanna talk bout it more in depth ill prob have rewatched it by then and id like to give a more. Detailed review#OR AT LEAST ONE NOT SO RAMBLY VELKAVJEALKJ im not good at reviewing things .... i just know when i like or dont like somethin ..#ive only had my bro to talk bout this with and he doesnt really. Give his thoughts or opinions too much like i do#so id be happy to talk bout it and get your perspective !!!! but only if you want Again if you dont like it im so sorry erlakjaekl#god theres so much more i want to say but im just rambling and i wanna be brief for you my friend vlakjlakvlkj#anyway yeah. those are my quick thoughts. i was Very Normal about james mcavoy for most of this movie ty for reading
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#its honestly astounding how many people are comfortable with insulting artists for their work#im thinking more artists making fanart of characters and media here btw#like honestly fanart is a blessing and theres people out there taking it for granted#i can browse through tags for hours and see art of my funky little guys all for FREE#someone used up at least a couple of minutes out of their day to draw a little doodle#maybe an hour or two for larger piece or even a full day#maybe just maybe it took them a month to finish that piece#all bc theyre passionate about it#and then they post it online for free to share with like minded people#and someone just comes up and decides they dont like and they feel the need to let the artist know#i feel like no one should have the right to insult a stranger for their passions like that#its not made specifically for you and you dont know the artist personally so like fuck off#im not saying folks need to fall in love with each and every piece of art they see bc not even i can do that#im just saying that people need to shut up before insulting the artist#giving out criticism when the artist never asked you is included in this too btw#if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all jfc
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its so telling how terfs supposed fucks about women just kind devolves into bullying trans people, it’s almost like you use that as a guise for your desire to just be fuckin bullies, prolly bc you were bullied by girls who were better than you growing up :/// unfortunate
#i promise! this is not making you get anywhere close to as good as those girls lmao.#good luck thought. maybe some day. keep dreaming. in your house. alone. without the touch of another being. for years......#though* but honestly. good luck thot#how do you not make a single shitting point toward terf ideology and still think you're right.#im convinced none of theseidiots actually know what they're fighting for. they LITERALLY just unify under the hate of trans ppl#and thats it#they literally never actually argue for their points. and when they pretend to they just overwhelm you with terf shit so that you shut up.#they dont actually even care about trying to convince any of us. they care about trying to make us Look Bad and Cringe#bc thats the only way they know how to socially control non trans ppl into thinking we're bad.#they dont have any real arguments. they dont do anything based on facts. they never actually have a point or have a debate#nothing. never.#literally just bullying and negging and trying to over power you and over whelm you into giving up.#and yall aren't just the same as the nazis? like. theres a reason they were there at that terf rally you fucking dense fucks#but yeah pretend you care about women at all lmao#we all know you dont. and at this point im curious if yall are even cis women or no-life transphobic nazi adjacent cis men in disguise#like yall could just be kiwifarmers or something for all i fucking know. ya look and act the same.
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I wonder if vere doesnt get w anyone bc its just too easy to stop caring about others (im projecting)
Edit: no hes probably too passionate for that. He doesnt wanna get w ppl bc he knows he'll be a slave to love probably.
His fatal flaw is wanting power so love would be a weakness
#lets gooooo selfish monstrosity#redstrewn talks#i can stop caring about things and people SO easily its honestly scary#i was only a little less obsessed w other fandom and characters as i am w touchstarved now. and now? i dont think abt them at all anymore#same w some people. some people i forget exist at all.#my exes? its so scary how once i let go of them i completely let go. like i dont feel anything at all. do i hate them? theres#something to hate w everyone but mostly i just dont CARE#shaking how ppl say the opposite of love is not hate but *indifference.* i am screaming.#vere is a hater thou. maybe he loves TOO much.#tbh maybe vere doesnt get w anyone bc hes scared of being TOO attached#maybe hes scared of being a slave to love bc he will ALWAYS be hungry and NEVER satisfied and he doesnt want to be under#the mercy of something else like that#yeah its probably more of that and not the shit i was projecting onto him lmfao#vere gives me the vibe of someone whos TOO passionate for things#hes fiery like that#hes too passionate he knows not to care abt people or else it will consume him. or something.
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I feel like I have an unacceptably low level of control over my body. Like obviously there are some things that no one can control but I have like actual big problems because of it. I'm not really sure how to describe it but it's not just me being really clumsy (although that is an effect of it) or even the tics I have.
It's like I can feel my body moving wrong constantly but I can't correct it and it hurts and it sucks and I'm tired. I'm tired of hurting myself, making mistakes, breaking things, acting like it's fine when in reality I'm constantly afraid of how much any movement I make next could hurt me. I need to move to stay sane, I want to workout and get stronger and go on walks with my friends. I wanna get better. I can't even roll over in bed without pain and I'm just so tired.
#opossums chronic illness rants#seriously though this sucks so much and idk if theres anything i can do about it but i wanna try#its probably a combination of a lot of different things#like muscle weakness and instability from ehlers danlos syndrome both making each other worse#along with the poor proprioception from autism the dizzyness and weakness from the dysautonomia#the fact that i cant really see and even possibly inner ear damage (thats a new one that ive been suspecting more and more recently)#im not sure if the ear damage would be just from built up ear wax or maybe or something else#but im really not having a good time because it brings back bad memories#when i was a kid (8 i think) my mom was convinced i had compacted ear wax but given that she refused to ever#take me to doctors she decided she had to fix it herself#which led to a lot of excruciating trials where she stuck wires and que tips stripped of their cotton into my ears#and tried to scrape out whatever she could. even though i wanted her to stop because it hurt so bad i would start crying everytime#im also mildly suspicious that might be what damaged my ears in the first place... but i really have no way to know that at the moment#all i know is i dont want anyone looking in or putting things in my ears ever again#it doesnt even matter how much i trust them because now anything put in my ears hurt#like even when im just regularly cleaning them with que tips it hurts and im reminded that might not be normal#idk if you read these tags let me know if cleaning your ears is supposed to hurt i guess?#im honestly not sure. like i just always assumed i wasnt being gentle enough or something but it doesnt matter what i do#its not super painful either just a little bit so i ignored it because i assumed it was normal#since a lot of 'normal' things hurt for me. which i now know to my surprise isnt normal at all but i didnt figure that out#until i actually got people to believe that these things were hurting me#apparently its very hard to find anyom#who believes that opening bag clips or trying to lift a jug of milk are actually quite painful for me#they usually just say im way overreacting and when i was a kid i just believed them i guess
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Plot twist: there are more fics on ao3 including Kataru than there are blue archer fics
#kataru is just a side character in like all except for 1 of the fics but hes still tagged in more#honestly i didnt expect him to be in any fics at all no one seems to remember him#i am however surprised theres only 1 blue archer fic#i thought for sure thered be maybe a small handful of fics. maybe like 5? there are only like 200-something nexo knights fics so i-#-couldnt expect there to be too many but still#lego ninjago#lego ninjago kataru#ninjago kataru#nexo knights#i wanted to look at nexo knights fanfics + then i was curious how many bluearcher fics there were#and when i saw there was only 1 i went ‘??? only one???? you mean no one ships them??? dude id expect that for like kataru or something but-#-for a ship including 2 main characters?? … wait are there any kataru fics on ao3?’#i dont actually have the energy to read fics lately but i like to save links to read later#although i didnt find anything. again kataru was only a side character judging by the main tags + the summaries of the fics he was tagged in#and i already read the blue archer fic bc it was only 130 words#anyways if anyone has any bluearcher fics or just cool nexo knights fics here on tumblr give me a link? i know not everyone puts their fics-#-on ao3. mine are all on tumblr (although i do plan on getting an ao3)
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