#giving out criticism when the artist never asked you is included in this too btw

[snorfbin]

.

[tealenko]

TV Show Brainrot Tag

Errmm... Get ready for this one XD And thanks again to the lovely @sillyliterature for the tag :D

This is gonna be loooooooong (I may have a problem with TV series upsss~~)

There's no precise order (I love them all)

The Queen's Gambit: My current obsession. Seen it many times. I still giggle whenever Benny opens his mouth. Just finished reading the book a week ago (and tons of fics right after)

An now, presenting my favorite section: I don't actually like that much crime procedural dramas but I'm a sucker for the "my consultant is a _" fill the blank trope.

1: "my consultant is a former con artist that used to fake he was a psychic "

The mentalist: PERFECTION. 10/10. Forever in love with Patrick Jane. Lisbon is a badass. Cho is just amazing. Love every single season and almost every character to death. *chef's kiss*

Gif de simonbakeralbum

2: "my consultant is a fake psychic that's lies to avoid going to jail"

Psych: I'll explain myself with the best dialogue ever in TV history:

Gus: What can you possibly ask to that girl that the police already haven't? //fades to black Shawn, already talking to her : Want to split a pineapple? *while holding a pineapple, of course*

*dies* XDDDDDDDDDDDD

3: "my consultant is THE DEVIL"

Lucifer: Hell to the yeah! This has been an obsession of mine since uni (and still is), but I mean... Tom Ellis, what could go wrong? Of course I'm in love with this shit. It got a bit too angsty at the end for me (but still... it was amazing)

4: "I AM WE ARE THE MF CONSULTANTS"

Sherlock: OOOOMMMFFFGGGGGGGGGG!! BEST SHIT EVER! That's it.

And to close this section:

5: "I'm gonna consult whether you like me or not, plus my partner is... A severed hand?"

I know, it's a stretch, but they're solving crimes too.

Wednesday: Decided to check it out while I was waiting for my train... Ended up watching the entire thing in a day XDDD Can't wait for season 2

All that done XD Here's one you won't know about...

Gran Hotel: OOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY I didn't want to include spanish things into this list, but this one is A MUST!!! sorry #notsorry To sum it up quickly it's a Dowton Abbey + Murder mistery (But in this one *spoiler warning* they do not kill the main guy in a christmas special T-T #yeahimstillmadaboutthat) btw the main ship is AMAAAAAZING (I mean, poor guy falls in love with rich woman never disappoints, am I right?)

MASH: My parents grew up watching this, bought it in DVD, and show it to us when we were kid... I fell in love. I'm still in love. I can quote almost every episode from memory, love all the characters and love how the show started as goofy and funny and grew little by little into cynical and critical. The caracters were flawed, which made them realistic and (considering when this air on TV) way ahead of their time.

Community: There's a before and after after the pool episode in season one. What an amazing show. Love it to death. #andamovie

Romance is a Bonus Book: I've seen a lot of kdramas, this one takes the win. Has everything they never want to give you in TV: main ship is friend from childhood, constant appreciation for books, they do not break up for stupid reasons once they are together, mega happy ending, no one has amnesia, no one gets kidnaped, you actually get to see them as a couple instead of getting together in the last chapter... and I could keep going, but I'll stop here. Well, and the main guy is drop-dead gorgeous (with kinda helps too XDDDDD)

And last, but not least:

Wizards of Waverly Place: This is my childhood... And also my present, let's be honest. Love the show, love Selena Gomez, LOOOOVE her as Alex. Still obsessed to this day, I mean, I rewatched it last month lol.

I should stop here... @sillyliterature see what happens when you ask?? XDDDDD And I could keep going ehehehehe

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 327 Spoiler Analysis: Home Sweet Home

OH MY GOD, GUYS!!!  DEKU GETS A BATH!!!! 🎉🛁 🧼   My broccoli boy finally gets squeaky clean, gets some sleep, and we finally get some R&R time with the Class 1-A kids.  It’s not close to the happy-go-lucky days of old, but it’s some time with the kids nonetheless.  I’m glad Horikoshi put some heart and humor in this chapter because god knows we needed it.  But, let’s be real, this is the calm before the storm:

The chapter starts off with what everyone and Horikoshi has been wanting for Deku since he went on his mission: A motherfuckin’ bath 🛀 🧼🛁!   Kaminiari and Kirishima lead the Class 1-A boys to carry Deku into their side of the UA Alliance bathhouse (looks real nice btw) and give him a good power-wash.  The whole sequence is very comical!  The boys are rushing in and poor Deku has this O_O face on him like “what is happening?” 😂 We also see some of the boys butt naked 😳  It’s clear that Horikoshi had fun drawing this thing and it was fun to read 💚

Bakugo is with them of course and you can actually see his scars from when Shigaraki stabbed him.  He’s not bleeding, but you can see those scar patches on his skin.  I’m curious of how fan artist are going to draw him from now on.  I would like to see that fan art 👀

There’s also some bubble sfx coving Bakugo’s crotch and a translator said it might say dick or penis.  I’m curious what the officials will say.

But, Bakugo being Bakugo is still aggressive towards his classmates.  More playfully than before, but still.  He reminds everyone that he still intends on being the best there is and that everyone is still his rivals (also friends, Bakugo).  HE EVEN MAKES AN ATTEMPT TO CALL DEKU IZUKU!  LIKE HE ALMOST SAID “DEKU” BUT HE CHANGED IT TO IZUKU AT THE LAST MINUTE!  AND DEKU SAYS THAT CALLING HIM DEKU IS JUST FINE LIKE THAT ANGER THAT ORIGINATED FROM THE NICKNAME ISN’T THERE ANYMORE AND IT’S A FREINDLY NICKNAME BKDK FRIENDSHIP GROWTH YOU LOVE TO SEE IT 🧡💚  

After Deku’s bath, he’s sitting in the commons talking to the rest of Class 1-A.  Well, most of them.  Mina tells Deku that Ochako and a few other students went to bed after everything became ok again.  So, I definitely didn’t see Tsuyu, and it looks like Shoji, Aoyama, and Hagakare weren’t in this chapter either.  Ochako I understand; her speech must’ve been emotionally taxing.  Aoyama and Hagakare are the top suspects for being the traitor in the fandom and this isn’t helping their cases.  I don’t know about Tsuyu and Shoji though.  They’re both mutant-types, but characters like Ojiro or mutant-like people like Jiro, Mina or Tokoyami didn’t get outcasted.  Horikoshi did hint that Shoji would be getting something soon.  But, I really am just speculating here.

Now that Deku’s back, everyone has questions for him.  Though I understand why, this has gotta be overwhelming for Deku.  At least they’re not mad at him for hiding OFA.  They seem very understanding actually.

Then my ❄️🔥 boy, Shoto Todoroki, comes in all handsome right out of the baths 💙  He’s drying his right side while you can see a steam cloud on his left.  So, it is canon that Shoto drys himself naturally with his heat. His entrance is so pretty that even Mineta’s questioning it (shut up, Mineta, you’ll never be as beautiful as him).  And yes, I might be a Shoto simp, don’t judge me I see y’all too 👀

Anyway, Shoto asks everyone to let Deku sleep since that was pretty much the whole reason they brought him back.  Problem is, Deku can’t because he really needs to apologize to All Might for abandoning him.  AND AFTER HE SAYS THAT THERE’S A DETAILED PANEL OF SHOTO POINTING TO ALL MIGHT LIKE “UH, MIDORIYA? HE’S RIGHT THERE” AND ALL MIGHT LOOKING FROM THE WINDOW LIKE A HORROR VILLAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE 😭

All Might comes in and apologizes to Deku for not being able to support him when he needed it, but Deku says that All Might support him more than enough.  Mina also scolds All Might for not saying anything when he left.  She wants All Might to apologize to everyone for that.  Though I’m glad Deku and All Might have reconciled (I honestly thought that last convo between them was going to be THE LAST for a hot minute), Mina has a point.  All Might did bail on all of them without any warning.  Kinda messed up in general.

All Might apologizes and he is going to fight with everyone regardless of his physical state so that he can see that flame continue to shine.  However, he warns the kids that they got info on the villains and that the final decisive battle is coming soon.  If the whole “Final Arc” thing hasn’t been hammered into your head, there you go.  I’m also glad that Stain’s speech did end up motivating All Might further.  Who knew?

So, All Might is off to help Endeavor since he’s got unfinished business to take care of.  But, the kids are wondering why Endeavor (and probably Hawks) isn’t entering UA entirely yet.  Shot reminds them that Endeavor is still connected to Dabi and that his presence alone would cause more discourse.  People’s minds can’t change that easily.  Shoto of all people would know.  

As Deku FINALLY SLEEPS 💤 and Shoto puts a blanket over him (possibly warmed by his left side 🔥) 💙💚 Shoto acknowledges how his presence might be making people anxious too even though it’s not his fault at all (thank you, Kirishima for doubling down on this btw ❤️🪨).  But, things are different and Shoto’s going to show that so that everyone can be at ease like he wants as a hero.  There’s even this sweet small smile on his beautiful face as he says this.  He’s grown so much and he’s pretty to boot I love him so much *HANDS IN FACE* 💙❄️🔥 

EVEN KIRISHIMA’S CRYING FROM HOW MANLY SHOTO IS I LOVE THESE KIDS!!!!

And now Jiro steps up and says her piece.  That she knows how hard it is to convince everyone to change their minds for the better.  Like with those two critics from the Culture Fest.  Even so, they accomplished this before, so she thinks they can do it again.  She even gathers all the band members to emphasize on this.  I love how Jiro uses her earphone jacks to rally the band and how she literally drags Bakugo by the shirt for a cute group shot.  None of these kids are afraid of Bakugo anymore LOL 😂!  Also, Momo is the tallest out of all of them in this line up shot (except for Bakugo who’s still being dragged on the ground).  I think she’s roughly 5ft 6-7 inches?  She’s the tallest of the girls I know that, but damn.  She towers all of them.  Even me...  She’s also very pretty in this shot and it’s her birthday as I’m posting this, so happy b-day Momo ❤️

And we get a beautiful panel of Jiro leading everyone to make sure that they’ll go beyond with making everything better than it was before.  We get a nice group shot of the rest of the class agreeing with her with a smile including Shoto with a small one (did I mention that I love him?) 💙💙💙 And Deku’s in the center still sleeping away.  I hope he has good dreams *kisses forehead*💚  And go Jiro for stepping up to the plate too 💜!  All these kids have grown so much.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Finally, the last pages show Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist going somewhere, maybe Tartarus.  They got info out of Dr. Ujiko via polygraph and the Nomu Research Group at Central Hospital.  They predict that they have 2 months until Shigaraki’s ready to go again, so they’ll need 1 month of preparation.  But, the info Stain gave All Might gave them more info.  His letter ended up being a personal letter to All Might (Stain really is that nuts...), but there was a microchip in the blade Stain left containing the security records from Tartarus.  It’s not stated how this info affected the mission at hand, but it sounds like it has to do something with the time frame.  So, I’m curious if they have less time to prepare or more?  Given how this is the Final Arc, Imma say less.

Finally, the teaser asks “How are the villains moving?”  I wonder if that means we’re switching to the villain’s next week.  I would love to hang out with the kids more, but I would also like to know what our villains are up to.  Like, where the hell is Himiko Toga?  Is Spinner still questioning shit?  What happened to Mr. Compress after he mauled himself to help Shigaraki and the others escape?  Also I think we need more info on this dude’s backstory given he’s the grandson of the famous Robin Hood villain who’s name definitely didn’t escape me... 😐  Is Dabi laughing his ass off from the utter chaos he started?  Is AFO still smiling like the evil mastermind he is?  Is Shigaraki as crispy as he was earlier?  I was going to ask about Twice but... 😭

So, yeah!  Love this chapter.  Really good transition chapter into whatever happens next.  I’m kinda sad we didn’t see Deku fight off more past villains during his vigilante days.  We got Muscular and Overhaul and I think that’s it?  Didn’t see any of Overhaul’s minions or that teeth-blade villain (Fish-something?; he broke out, but we haven’t seen him since) or Re-Destro or his goons.  I don’t count as Gentle or LaBrava as villains anymore and they were never truly evil to begin with.  Regardless, it was a really cool arc to see a more dark side of Deku.  I’m really glad Horikoshi made great use of his bunny hood and metal mask finally.  Deku really did look demonic for some time.  Also, seeing Deku badass is always a plus.  And seeing the deconstruction of hero society and the possible reconstruction of it was really good too.  Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately, but we can do our best to make it that way.

I’m also glad that we finally got our kids back in top form.  Not just being heroes, but being teenagers too.  They all had great moments especially Iida, Ochako, and now Shoto as they should.  But, Bakugo’s apology was peak for me.  Over 320 chapters of development and build-up lead to that moment and it really is one of the best in the series.  It lives in my head rent free.

So, we got 1-2 months in-manga-time until what is probably the final battle of the series.  God, I can’t believe we’re actually nearing the end of this series.  I started reading it back in 2018 when shit was rough for me. I found this series after listening to the music and reading the hype around it.  I watched the show then I read the manga and it really helped me.  Saved me from a dark place actually.  I will miss this series when it’s done and I will be greatly for the joy Horikoshi has gifted us.  I’ll try to save the farewells for later.  I’d say this series has at least 1-1 1/2 years to go.

Me @ the kids and All Might:

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

This is the last ask ill send because im honestly tired of this whole thing

I dont know why you brought up the anon hate you got when that’s no part of the discussion. Even if it isnt your intention, you’re making yourself out of to be the victim when you arent. You say you want to get better but each time something gets pointed out you get on the defensive. I dont know why you decided to bring it up, but now that you have: Piama is indeed whitewashed on your drawing. “Warm lighting” doesnt change peoples undertones like that. Compare it to Piama’s last two cgs if you really don’t believe me.

Even if you aren’t affected, you need to be able to recognize it without poc having to tell you in order to be a good ally. I wouldn’t want a straight friend that lets people make homophobic comments about me in their presence and then hear them say “it doesn’t affect me so i couldnt tell it was homophobic so thats why i didnt defend you”. If you aren’t able to recognize it then you’ll inevitably repeat the same rhetoric. Racist rhetoric is everywhere and spewed every single day so you cant expect poc to be with you all the time and take you by the hand to tell you whats racist or not. Those are the reasons why you need to learn how to identify it by yourself, be listening to poc, by developing critical thinking skills, by not surrounding yourself with only white people. If not there’ll be more unchallenged asks such as one i saw recently that pinned poc that complained about yet another white route “stupid because they dont get that lovestruck releases routes by demand”. As if we have no concept of nuance.

No one is obliged to accept an apology, especially after what happened. I dont know where you got that idea from, especially when it concerns something that hurts people this deeply. And I didn’t point it out what happened just to be petty, I pointed it out because it isn’t an isolated event but a pattern of behavior of unchecked racist comments. That was simply the worst case: It was handled poorly, considering mod viv herself never apologized and again, swept it under the rug. The apology I saw from mod wrath was vague, didnt address the situation directly, was posted on this blog so no one knew what was going on, and was later deleted. So yeah she can apologize ten times and it still doesn’t mean we have to accept it. Especially if it’s that catastrophic because it looks like its more about saving face rather than feeling remorse, even if she did feel bad. You’re too eager to call it just “a mistake” and pin me as the unreasonable one.

And I want to ask you, have you truly seen with your own eyes an interaction where someone said to the other “if you like vinca you’re racist” and was completely serious?Or have you heard it from someone else saying that they were told that? Because considering that other anon watering down a woc’s criticism of lovestruck as “she doesnt like white people or this blog” then yeah i wouldn’t trust anything else coming from their mouths. People are getting too pressed over the millionth white woman in the app. Hell even if it happened, it’s probably what, one, two people? But you’re lumping all of us together as if its been a wave of saying that. The valid criticism surrounding Vinca is interconnected with Nahara’s release (one of the few dark-skinned women in the app) considering people kept saying they’d rather have a Vinca route when Nahara’s was announced. They’re not even willing to support it just because they want Vinca’s and that sends a message to voltage. So it simply doesnt boil down to “well its a difference in personalities”. Im gonna go as far as to say that if a woc had the same attitude as Vinca, people wouldnt be frothing at the mouth for her or they’d delve into the realm of fetishizing (as some people are bordering the line with Piama). But thats a whole other topic. And since people want to act stupid: all of the white characters in lovestruck are white because voltage made them that way. They could’ve quite easily made them a poc, but they rarely do. Think about what that means then, if youre really trying to defend yourself by saying “well they put out whats popular”

Lastly, you should really evaluate the content and beliefs you put out when racist people are still comfortable following and interacting with you. This is why i want this discussion to be public: your followers need to read this and apply it to themselves. Because considering the amount of anon hate you said you got yesterday towards the other blogger, theres a bunch of your followers who need to get off their phones and learn to care about other people and stop being racist assholes.

Believe me, I’m tired of it as well.

I brought up the anon hate because I didn’t want you to wonder why I was posting your asks in this form.

And no. Piama is not whitewashed. I took a dropper tool and took the color directly from her sprite, and if you’d looked at my blog, you would’ve seen that I sent screenshots as proof in response to that ask. But you obviously didn’t, so I’ll send them here again. (1. Without lighting. 2. With Lighting.)

If you still don’t believe me, you’re welcome to call me on Discord and I’ll share my screen and show you the entire process. And as an artist: You’d be fucking surprised what lighting does to colors.

Well, yes, I need to be able to recognize it indeed. The thing is: I can’t always. I try my best on this, and there will be moments and issues that will come up, mistakes I will make because I’m not perfect and not a machine. And in those moments, I’d love to have a friend that affectionately slaps me and says “JD, that was shit.” So I can apologize and notice it the next time. I have had multiple friends be transphobic to me in certain ways. I’ve informed them about it. They apologized and haven’t done it since. We’re still friends to this day. I do try to educate myself on racism and put in some work. I don’t expect POC to do all the work for me and explain to me how to be an ally correctly, and still - I hope they help me just as I help my cis friends with trans stuff. I can’t magically change all my behaviors and overcome internalized societal racism with the snap of a finger. If I could, I fucking would have already done it multiple times. The way it is, I’m working on it. Again - I’m sorry I didn’t point out the racist comment in the ask. I should’ve done that, and I’ll make sure to do it in the future.

You’re right no one is obliged to accept an apology. You’re right this hurts people deeply. And as I said - Mod Wrath apologized three times, including one on her personal blog which was a lot less vague. Mod Viv also apologized - to the person in question, in private. Just because you didn’t see it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. And the thing is - if you refuse to accept her apology, that’s one thing and fully your right. And the thing is: If an apology is not going to make you forgive her, if ten are not, what do you need in order to forgive? Will you never forgive? Will you always argue it’s going to be an apology to save face when you don’t know the fact she does feel remorse? How will you see that she does?

I did hear the Vinca thing from a friend of mine. Whom I trust. Because seriously, why would you make things like that up? Who would even get the idea? I’m against the idea of believing my friends would lie to me for attention or whatever. And yeah, the criticism of that anon was unfitting - I’ve visited the blog they claimed was doing that and I found nothing of the sorts, so that comment was unfitting unless I missed something. I never intended to say that it’s all of you saying that. I intended to say that some people are handling the issue wrong. I’m sorry it came off that way. I do believe though that it’s people’s full right to say they’d have preferred Vinca over Nahara. I would’ve preferred Vinca. I still read Nahara tho. However, it’s not yours to dictate which routes other people have to support and which not. I will however agree with you that people should give Nahara a chance - it’s quite the sweet story. And I for my part would enjoy a POC Vinca just as much as a white one. (Also, side note, you’re making it appear as if everyone would either fetishize or rage over her, which is very much putting all of the “white” fanbase into the same bag, the same thing you critizised me for earlier. It’s understandable from a psychological point of view, tho, so I’m not gonna comment further.)

Yeah, Voltage makes the characters white, and that’s an issue people can only fix by demanding more POC in the ask posts and comments. Which many do, btw. They put out what is popular indeed, they put out what is demanded, and I fucking demand more POC. I want it. They could’ve made so many LIs POC and they haven’t and I’m fucking unhappy about it too! I’m not even trying to say anything else.

Yes, making this public to arouse thinking is a good policy. The followers need to read this indeed. And we didn’t get anon hate for the other blogger. We got anon hate towards us. Tons. Comments that went as far as telling mods to kill themselves. And while I agree with lots of the things you say - some of the ways you’re acting actively spark this type of hate. There is being loud about the issues you face, and then there is calling people racist assholes based on a comment they made instead of talking to them personally and telling them that’s not okay, giving them the chance to improve themselves instead of always having them stamped as a racist. Just because you’re the one who’s hurt, the one who’s morally correct, does not mean anything you say or do is good behavior. 

You told me I whitewashed Piama when you, with a minute of research, could’ve found proof I didn’t. You obviously wanted the internet to see, maybe hoped I’d get exposed? Could I get an apology for that? And I promise, I’ll accept it because I’m willing to believe you’re a good person.

Summary of everything:

You’re right with lots of things.

I behaved wrong and I’m sorry.

Lovestruck has an issue with racism that we need to change together. 

Together. Without toxic behavior from any side.

- Mod JD

[shy-magpie]

RQG Discord

So hi,  I was mentioning something about the discord in my live blog of RQG 99,  and it occurred to me that I should probably mention that I am now on there.  I want to be the kind of person that makes civilized post with great insight about Discord Vs Tumblr, but mostly I want to yell that I love everyone in this bar. I have never used a discord before and (makes vague hand gestures at things like I just wrote the live blog for episode 99 the current episode is 131 but am posting this after my live blog of episode 77) you've seen what I'm like;  so it's going to be a while before I quit lurking and post.  I started at the beginning of the the RQG specific discord and am working my way towards the present. Why yes, that is a lot of scrolling every time I open the page,  but the pins help. Thanks to everyone who encouraged me to join, even if I'm not posting it's good to hang around the fandom. Honestly between the show and the fandom my standards are so raised. I keep being surprised by things like how many people put their pronouns in their handle, and how no one makes a fuss about not using standard combos, then realizing that making room for people like me isn't too big of an ask. BTW I want to hug everyone of you using a name that "matches" your pronouns and still puts them in your handle. Especially since no one has put Name(gender) instead of Name(pronouns), the way you kids get name doesn’t equal gender doesn't equal pronouns, is giving me life. But on a lighter note, no one is being mean to the mods or throwing a fit when someone suggests that they should take a conversation to another board. No one is being a jerk to the cast or flipping out if someone criticizes their fav/defends their anti fav. We even have a Bertie or two fan who are up to date and the worst it's gotten is like "but... " "I know but we aren't going to change eachother's minds". Seeing this in action isn't why I love this forum, there are so many reasons to love this forum, but it is why I won't be going back to some of the hostile places I used to chalk up to "what the internet is like". Also I love every single one of this fandom, including you, lurker who is reading this without having posted a word anywhere. We have fan artists, authors,  someone is making a Sasha Barbie, I am pretty sure a couple of you invented new ways to be creative with RQG, and they are all rightly celebrated without anyone trying to compare them or tear someone down for not getting things exactly according to canon. I also love how the transcripts and closed captions started so organically with people stepping up to work together and people aren't getting snitty about what isn't done yet (you have no idea how tired I am of people volunteering their own time to do something for the fandom only to be effectively driven out by people demanding they produce perfectly at a rate you wouldn't get from a hired team). We have someone going through to mark every time they sleep and instead of hassle about that being an unusual way to relisten people are being grateful and combine it with an independent effort to figure out the timeline. I love everyone of you who linked to songs from Galavant or shared a D&D meme or made your own meme. I love those of you who share anything about setting yourself on fire or blowing yourself up with #Hamid, even though I'm not there yet. I love Bryn for giving his character a long name because whenever someone posts a fireball fail joke I can mutter "Hamid Saleh Haroun al Tahan, what did you do!?!" and it is so satisfying (even if I am pretty sure I know exactly what he is going to do). I love the people who ask about how obscure bits of history work in this verse, I love the people who ask for context to understand the question, and I especially love everyone who cheerfully explains and simplifies history so no one feels left out or embarrassed. I love everyone who is coming in late like me, and posts to say that they just met Azu and would die for her. I love everyone who is up to date, and instead of telling them to binge faster, simply replies by embracing their new fan friend and assuring them that we would all die for Azu, except we think it might make her sad. I love how gracious Helen is every time we post about Azu, even when she has to repeat herself, like on Azu coming from a town so small they don't have last names. I love Anil and all the mods, and the fandom for getting that without mods the discord wouldn't stay the wonderful place it is. I have a post somewhere about loving Bryn and Lydia so much it makes me kinder to myself so I trust you'll forgive me for not going on about how great they are on the discord as well. I don't just respect Alex's craft in the game, I love how we can post about him by name and he never gets insulted by us calling him evil, but still cheerfully swings by to answer questions. I love Ben, how he gets into Grizzop's thoughts and both the watsonian and doyalist reasons for what he does. (I am also looking forward to reading his posts during the time the episode with Zolf's return is recorded but in the buffer so fans won't know for weeks. My current bet is I won't be able to tell when the buffer starts because Ben is a healthier version of Zolf in terms of playing things so close to his chest you can forget he is playing). In short, I love everyone in the discord,   (probably everyone in the fandom) and thank you all with especial gratitude for those of you who encouraged me to join the discord. I hope you can forgive me for tossing this at my queue and running without too much editing; I am working on my shyness but you all need to know how great you are, so this was a compromise.

[laufeymoar]

A reminder to the blogger [me]:

Ok, I should have done this as soon as the con was finished, but I didn’t think of it until now so whatever. This is just for me to get my thoughts together and remember what happened at this goddamn convention even when I am old and wrinkly and dying of some disease. Anyway, memories and impressions of SFCon 2017, wherein I speak to JPad’s sister (shoutout to all artists everywhere, Megan) and Rachel Miner, Jeffrey Dean Morgan harps on about Wincest for a bizarrely long time, and ‘meeting’ Jared turns out to be everything I could have hoped for.

Friday:

Melanie and I get there as soon as my class is done. We eat weird af avocado sushi and don’t have time to do anything else because we’re already like hours late lol. I did my best to look a little bit like Ruby, even though my hair was pulled back. SO. I don’t really remember the order any of this shit happened in, but I believe the first people we saw on stage were Richard Speight Jr. and Rob Benedict with Louden Swain, and I had my first freak out of the weekend by screaming ‘GABRIEL’ like a goddamn idiot and nearly falling apart right then and there. This was when Melanie would step in and remind me to behave like a normal human being, and I appreciated that. (Also, note: we sat in the front generally during the weekend, but Friday had the BEST seats because the Gold Member people weren’t there yet so we were RIGHT IN FRONT OF FUCKING GABRIEL BYE)

Anyway, next was the guy who played Adam. He was fucking HILARIOUS. I got to ask him a question, but before that I think someone asked him whether he prefers Sam or Dean as an ally or something like that, and I breathlessly whisper SAM and then cover my mouth, but the damage was done, the guy who played Adam fucking teased me (good-naturedly, of course, literally no one at this convention had a mean bone in their body) and I briefly reassessed what an appropriate level of ‘chill’ was. Anyway, I ask him if he’s heard of the theory that Adam is actually safe in heaven because Castiel blew his vessel to bits before Lucifer killed him (thereby killing Adam but not Michael). Jake (I think that’s the actor’s name?) thought about it a bit, I think ultimately decided he’d prefer hell? 

Also, to the girl who pointed out that Death confirmed that Sam and Adam’s souls were both in the cage...well played, sister, but in my defense I have for some reason been rewatching the first three seasons on repeat and not moving on, so my memory of season 5-6 is VERY BLURRY. 

Anyway, then it’s David Hayden Jones. Melanie and I had, up to this point, been playing the personality alignment game - I think Jake was Chaotic Good? Well, David Hayden Jones was TRUE GOOD. HE IS THE PUREST MAN I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. He was FUNNY af and reeeeeally good at improv (confirmed by Melanie, a living breathing person that has experience in theater), and he remembered like fucking everyone he had spoken with online by NAME and chatted with them a little bit even though this is discouraged by Creation (but not enforced), and was just an overall great person. The ONLY Destiel question (dear god why) of the weekend was directed at him, and he handled it brilliantly (”Ketch would think of a ‘ship’ as something that floats on water...”). 

Anyway, after that, I decide to get something signed by fucking Gabriel because what do I need $35 for? Food? HA! I prove to everyone that I am a mess because I bought a ticket and lost it, this is no fucking exaggeration FS you idiot, TEN SECONDS after buying it. TEN. The subsequent ten minutes were spent trying to find it and charming the lady that had just sold it to me to give me another one for free. I managed to do the latter, but I also found the ticket before things got critical so ALL WAS WELL. 

This led to an amazing interaction with one of the Creation volunteers (take a shot for Vera everybody) who, and keep in mind she had been talking to Melanie and I for roughly ten minutes here, proclaims with all the confidence in the world that I am the ‘Jared’ and Melanie is the ‘Jensen’ of our relationship. This is because I’m scatterbrained and get lost and get LOUD, and Melanie is a planner who gets up on time and looks out for me even though I’m a grown-ass adult. Melanie and I are both shocked at this callout culture and that our dynamic is so easily displayed, though I think the loss of the stupid ticket did give Vera a pretty big hint. 

I guess I was in a one-man competition with myself for the trophy of ‘least prepared for life’ because I get in the autograph room thing and realize I have literally nothing for fucking Gabriel to sign (also there was a whole situation with pdf v physical tickets thing but you know what bye), so I gotta give the man my hot pink Michael Kors wallet, just like everyone else does duh [note: this was also when Melanie and I meet an amazing lady who let us hold the angel blade she had, and the thing was fucking authentic, THANK YOU WHY IS EVERYONE SO NICE]. 

So he gets the wallet, along with a sticky note of my name (everyone got a sticky note with their name but I was especially grateful because my name is ridiculous), and he proceeds to PERFECTLY pronounce it, better than some of my fucking friends irl (this is a callout post, do better). He asks me where I’m from. I panic because that is the identity crisis that every foreigner faces after living more than fifteen years in a new country, but I just say Bulgaria cuz it explains my name. He then proceeds to say that I don’t have an accent which is impressive and I just nod silently like a goddamn idiot. THEN he asks me if he should visit Bulgaria, because he’s never been, and this is clearly my limit in terms of speaking with a celebrity because I reply with ‘we have a sea’ and WRENCH BACK MY WALLET FROM HIS GRASP. Having zero chill, I don’t even give myself one damn second to walk away from the man before throwing my hands in the air and doing a bizarre victory lap in a quest to find Melanie again (yes he saw and no I don’t give af).

That night we eat amazing food and play a short session of DnD, wherein my HP drops to zero and I’m pretty sure I have two angels competing to save my life because everyone realizes the odds were against my Level 1 fucking human hunter (oh, Sam...) but whatever. 

Saturday:

I remember this day the least. We were SUPER late so we missed, like, all the panels lol. There was one panel with the guy who played Henry Winchester in, and correct me if I’m wrong here, ONE goddamn episode. So at one point me and Melanie are like ‘fuck that’ and go check out the vendor’s room at the con, including the Random Acts table. We meet an amazing volunteer there (shout out to Sara, girl I will find you on twitter ok give me a hot second) and Rachel Miner, who is absolutely lovely and dedicated to bettering this black hole of a world. We talk to them for like 40 minutes (fulfilling my dream of combining fandom and real life by talking to an actress I admire about shit that matters for A LONG ASS TIME FUTURE ME OK) before leaving for Melanie’s Photo Op that I was in lol (Saturday was ‘Melanie day’ and Sunday was my day in terms of actors we came to see). 

We stand in line for the Photo Ops, and it’s about as close as I’ve ever seen Melanie to a sober ‘not in control’ form. Even though she hasn’t been in this fandom for years, she was still worried she’d cry. She didn’t, thankfully, because at the last second I realized I had brought nothing in the form of a tissue...

So:

Melanie’s directions to Misha Collins were something along the lines of, “we’re in a fight, can you mediate between us?” (inspired by the other night’s DnD catastrophe). Misha very benevolently accepts, and the beauty before you is the result (I was Sam on Saturday, btw, though I realized very quickly that my super low key interpretation did not register like most of the dedicated cosplayers’ did - and by the way? At this con, 90% of the people were dressed in some form of plaid monstrosity, obviously including me). 

After we leave (Misha said thank you to us because he is a doll and maybe socially awkward deep down inside), we are immediately accosted by Creation for an interview because obviously, we are the smoothest chicks around. We praise them to the high heavens then go off to listen to some more panels. 

OH DEAR GOD. How could I forget Mark Sheppard?! OK I don’t remember where this fits into the timeline, but Mark Sheppard comes out, gives a very lovely speech to thank Louden Swain and Rob and fucking Gabriel for the time and effort they put into these cons, then proceeds to give the most MAUDLIN talk of the whole convention. So many highlights. He expresses frustration at the fact that his final line, “even when I lose, I win,” was cut. He explains that Crowley’s character arc had run its course a while ago. He takes the piss out of any Castiel cosplayers that were there (we were momentarily worried he’d target Melanie because he was walking up the aisle right where we were sitting, but he was thankfully distracted by a cute baby). He talks about his sobriety, what God and humanity mean to him. It was very deep, very cool (one part of his speech was about the power of fandom, “it’s not just that they wear the same uniform as you, it’s that you CAN wear the same uniform”, and honestly I was near tears, the man fucking understood). This went on for quite a while, it was Mark’s last convention, and it was around this time I felt ABSOLUTELY fucking exhausted. 

I’m pretty sure-NO. Actually. Before Misha’s panel, it was the actor who plays Jack (I believe his name is Alex). It was his first convention too, though tbh, though there were more people watching him, David Hayden Jones got louder cheers. ANYWAY. I don’t remember much about Alex’s panel except that Misha crashed it using a ridiculous voice, and he crashed it RIGHT IN FRONT OF WHERE WE WERE SITTING. Night made. 

Then it’s Misha’s panel, and I honestly don’t remember anything about it, sorry future me. I remember he was pretty funny, and I liked him. 

Thennn we go home (no karaoke or concert), and after dinner and tea sleep pretty much immediately. 

Sunday:

Then, the big day (for me). It starts off pretty great. Though we were later than I wanted to be, we catch the end of fucking Gabriel and Rob’s panel (Matt was there too, the guy who plays young John Winchester). These three are fucking hilarious together, but also, super talented. They do this weird talk-sing improv that ends up AMAZING and that Melanie assures me is very hard. 

I’m gonna mess up the order now, but I think we go in the vendor’s room and we meet Jared Padalecki’s sister Megan, who has a children’s book coming out. I buy one for my sister (you’re welcome Adi) and she signs it for us. We also have a pretty productive conversation about how to get your work noticed online, and I for some bizarre reason that is completely unknown to me advise Megan to get a DeviantArt. God did not bless me with ANY reasoning skills, and I am decidedly bitter about that. 

Then...it was time.

So I’m worried the entire time I’m going to cry. I didn’t understand the phrase ‘thrumming with excitement’ until this point. I also felt slightly like throwing up, which was very uncool but just my luck. I was thankfully distracted by a very tall woman who was excited to meet someone her height.

When you enter the room for the photo ops, it’s about five minutes before it’s actually your turn, so I got to watch Jared Padalecki interact with people for five minutes before it was our turn, and I have to say it was freaking incredible. The man was bouncing off the walls. He had already been doing this for TWO HOURS and he was still energetic and hugging EVERYONE. Also, since he was the one initiating, Creation couldn’t say SHIT, so pretty much everyone left with a GIGANTIC grin on their faces. Still felt a little like throwing up though. 

Ok. I know everyone says this. But he is TALL in real life. He’s not ‘huge’, it’s not season 3, but he’s very elegant looking and quite frankly beautiful. Better looking than he is on the show. And he greets us with a gigantic SMILE and his hair is so fucking SHINY and I was just ready for death at that point tbh.

...anyway. I say something along the lines of, “channel the DRUNKEST sorority girl you’ve ever seen in your life. We’re your two friends dragging you home.” He nods very determinedly, we grab him by the waist and ABSOLUTELY do not see the face he makes, and it’s over in like 5 seconds. BUT when we’re done, I catch his eye briefly (and am close to tears at this point) and he BRINGS US INTO THE BEST DAMN BEAR HUG I HAVE EVER RECEIVED IN MY LIFE. I forget if any thank you’s were exchanged because at that point my mind was mush. I do remeber he said that he channeled ‘emotional drunk’, and this was the goddamn result. Acting, folks.

(Later, when we see this picture, Melanie and I laugh so loud that some random man asks to see the photo op because we just could not chill for ages). 

As we were leaving the room, we briefly meet Clif, J2′s bodyguard, and he was very nice and very graceful about the fact that I gushed about Jared to him for like 20 solid seconds. 

Then, it’s time for the main panels. The first one was with the actress who plays Mary, and she was lovely if a bit inefficient at answering questions quickly (I’m only bitter because I was going to ask her where she WANTED Mary and Sam’s relationship to go, and what she thought about the fact that Sam felt disconnected from her), and then Jeffrey Dean Morgan came up and riffed with her a bit (I did not think I would be as excited as I was to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan). 

Jeffrey Dean Morgan is something else. First off, he’s fucking hilarious. There are many things I could say about the answers he gave, but I’m sure there’s a transcript somewhere that would do a better job, All I need YOU to remember, future me, is the fact that the man brought up fanfiction by himself (”we’re in fanfiction land now, people”), and then for some reason that will never be clear to me brought up WINCEST. And then KEPT TALKING ABOUT WINCEST. I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD I NEARLY CHOKED. Also, while I’m sure 99% of Destiel shippers were laughing along with all of us, I’m sure there was a faction of 1% that was bitter about the fact that JDM was under the impression that Wincest was still the BNS and that made me so happy inside. 

(It makes sense that JDM thought that, though. He was on the show when Wincest was at the height of its popularity, and he never kept up. APPARENTLY, J2 sent him some Wincest, and he got a kick out of it. These guys really are a lot more open-minded than I would be in their situation...JDM did call Wincest fans perverts though, so all is right with the world.) 

Thennnnn it was J2 time. The main event for me had been seeing Jared up-close, so I was relatively subdued, but it was still a great panel. The two of them are hilarious. They sound like every pair of best friends that remember shit differently and refuse to stop arguing about it (highlights of the panel: whose fault was Jared’s stabbed leg, how does one pronounce Nevada, how J2 respectively almost died, Jensen refuting a fan who implied that Sam was better as a supportive role to Dean). Jensen kept interrupting Jared’s stories with (admittedly funny) asides, and while Jared did the same occasion, it was not on the same level, which I found interesting. Idk how I felt when Rob and fucking Gabriel came back out and started jamming out hardcore with Jensen while Jared kinda hung back. I know that’s his own choice, and that they’d love him to perform with them, but idk. I wish he was secure enough to come out of his shell. 

Also - when they came down the stairs, Jared was all smiles and waves while Jensen was super subdued. We as fans don’t know anything about them so this is pure speculation but I am allowed to do that on my own blog damn it and I’m pretty sure that Jared is a genuine extrovert while Jensen is the opposite, and it really shows when the two of them are apart (together, Jensen becomes about as animated as Jared, albeit in a different way).

We stayed for the Kings of Con panel so I could stare at fucking Gabriel some more, and was heartened to find out that Richard Speight Jr. took objection to the fact that God “didn’t have time” to bring back Gabriel as much as I did. Nevertheless, fun panel, though I don’t remember any more details (Melanie probably will tbh, in keeping up with a recurring theme, she has a better memory than I do). After the panel, Melanie and I took pictures, I scored some free shirts, we went home. 

Something that didn’t really make it into this entry but I would like to keep note of is the fact that the people at this con were incredible. The volunteers, the people in the audience, every random human Melanie and I spoke to - all incredible. It was finally a group of people ready to debate the finer points of Sam’s refusal of Lucifer in the 11th season, etc., which is on one hand, like, “duh”, but on the other hand, it really isn’t. Amazing experience overall, you had fun, Melanie had fun, no one died, all was well. 

Until the next one (which, uh, we may have to end up going to New Jersey?! We will see about THAT)!           

[slashtakemylife]

Well, honestly since all this fandom wank is still going, I think it doesn’t hurt to show this back again, my favorite part

If you take nothing else from this article, please take this: all this outrage isn’t about protecting children, or about morality, or about critiquing media. It’s about people wanting their favorite characters to kiss.

This next part is my personal opinions but are all mostly based on this article, all I wish to add is how stupid this whole anti is because yes, it’s just about character’s kissing and their rules change to their convenience, so I’m just expanding to it with my own experience.

I’ll talk Fandom, why I think Antis have it wrong, some anti foolery and what to do, all of course in my opinion.

I’d like to start out with that “Fiction affects reality” and I can say, YES, but whose fiction? It’s the mass media produced fiction or the one I do from the comfort of my home?

Remember that all pieces of entretainment (books/movies/songs) as small as they may be, are all made by a group of people with the intention to reach to the biggest amount of people, it is their literal job, they know they are throwing ideas and notions to others in hopes to get feedback and be able to keep going, in other words it’s deliberate and so far we get tropes that affect and stereotype minorities. We must criticize those works because, again, a group of people allowed this to be produced with the intention to reach and capture the biggest auduence they can.

What about fandom? Fandom is exactly the opposite for me, we are not a team, we are just ourselves that get invested in one fandom and wish to explore more on the universe these creators gave us, and all for free! None of us are paid for it, yet with the anti movement, we are suddenly treated the way real paid content creators are made.

Fandom is a safe place because we can be whatever we want and explore whatever we wish because Fandom is self-contained, we broadcast to people with the same interests and hope to get feedback, create a healthy community were we just dicuss our fandom.

The anti movement uses the criticism we use on mass media and “moral ground” to justify their actions (harassment) but when you point at a fan, it is just that, you are pointing at a person, suddenly we must justify why we do what we do, what we write, what we think, give our life story, show credentials, all for what? Just to be “Valid”? Valid for who? A bunch of random people on the internet? We already have to struggle to be “Valid” in the real world and in this place were we can just be, we suddenly aren’t, we have to justify everyting we think, just to be allowed to not be harrased and have some freedom.

What is worse is that our prize if we pass this “Test” is just to not be harrased online, that’s it, I don’t know about you but in the Real World they supposedly live in, this is called Blackmail. We are threatened to be excluded, harrassed, recieve threats sometimes even death threats unless we stick to THEIR Values.

This is already bad enough and I haven’t even started with the antis themselves, becuase, who is the judge? Who is going to tell us if we are “Valid” enough to warrant not be harrased? What are THEIR Values?

This changes from anti to anti and oddly enough, it can be flexible to each one because again, every single one of us in fandom is just a team of one, there is no Anti Team, just a bunch of anti individuals that will bite each other because their foundation, like the article said, it’s not about morality but who can kiss and who isn’t allowed to.

What is the Anti handbook? Can anyone give it to me?

Let’s live in the Anti world *shivers*, I went into the fandom pretty young, I was 15, (I’m 25 now) and my first fanfiction was just pure crack, a character was turned into a cat and that’s it, the characters were comlpetely ooc but I was having fun.

What would it be like if 15 y/o me started fandom now?

Remember that now each of us are holded on the same standard grown, working paid adults are, so if I wanted to make a fanficiton I must begin wondering, do I have moraly sound topics? Is this my age appropiate? Are the character “Valid”? The actions I’ll put the characters in can pass the Moral Anti Compass Test? What is this Compass? As a 15 y/o how am I expected to know all this? We can’t be but we Will be harrassed.

If someone doesn’t like my ooc they can and WILL call me problematic, a 15 y/o that just wants some fun, they will invaldiate me, tell me I’m problematic, be asked to tell some stranger who I am and what are my credentials to do that content and no it doesn’t have to be nsfw, it can just be anything, they are currently creating a cloud of fear in all new and sometimes old users.

He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone

Let’s take a look at some Anti foolery since they are full of contradictions and will use Morality for their gain but ultimately they will fall under their own rules because they are not really for Morality but as an excuse to justify their harrasment.

The Minor Excuse.

Oddly enough, many anti’s I’ve seen are minor and they use it to a fault, “I’m a minor, you can’t do nsfw for those characters I like or that pairing I dislike”, Our response and most nsfw artist response is, “Well just block me, don’t come into my space, I’ll tag it 18+ so you’ll know not to come here”

That is a good enough response but for antis it’s not enough because it was never really about their integrity, the real point always was so that the content creator stops creating that content of that pairing they don’t like so the new argument is:

“The characters are MINORS, so you as a DIRTY adult mustn’t do any content about them”

This is good enough becuase now they are called pedophilic and with that argument now the antis carrying torches and pitchforks have a, very bad, place were they can comfortly harrass nsfw content creators (or just creators)

One thing about minors and our example minor anti used is that, as minors, nsfw content must be away from them, that is the point right? Protect them from topics they are not mature enough and it’s totally ok, but do they follow? I began watching nsfw at 15, do Minor antis really keep away? Do they keep their mental celibacy until 18? Oddly enough, if the pairing that they favor is underage as them and is written by someone underage then it is ok for them to see them in more 18+ setting, like not full blown really kinky situations but do be able to include sexual encounters in their content, odd right? I thought they were all in on the minor train so that should wipe all nsfw and in fact the anti in our example had previously stated their absolute distaste in nsfw content, funnily enough just not content on the pairing they didn’t like, content THEY like is good enough.

What these antis don’t want to realize is that Minor it’s a very very temporal state of being, they tops have like 5 to 3 years until THEY are no longer a minor so by THEIR standars they have to leave all shipping involving minors when THEY reach 18, I have yet to see an anti say good bye to a pairing because they are now 18 and wouldn’t be moraly sound to carry one shipping them.

BTW friendly reminder that all underage pairing shown in media are made by a team of adults but I have yet to see a boicott were minor fans argue mass media shouldn’t include romance of any kind involving minors because adults are writting underage relationships, kinda odd right?

The incest/age gap

I won’t go too much into this because I’m just looking for anti foolery, the paring Sheith is considered incest because the character of Shiro mentored Keith and met him at a younger age, this ship and all ships involving Shiro a 25 y/o with his minors peers (shaladins) are a big gigantic no no in the dumpster that is voltron fandom, sheith in particual had Keith say to Shiro, “I love you, you are my brother” in one of the episodes.

However those same anti that satanized Sheith are now happily shipping Catradora, and in this show it’s literally said and shows many many times, by the character themselves how they were raised, basically since birth together as sisters, how it doesn’t fit Incest? Well, because the anti liked that one so I guess the anti manual kinda went into the wind right? Nope, they still hold Sheith as a pedophilic, grooming, incest pairing, but Catradora is ok, should I add that Catra is always trying to kill Adora? Some Villian/Hero pairing? No? Is OK? I thought antis would lift the pitchforks but apparently no...Reylo is bad tho, becuase omg VILLAINS!!!!

Someone really needs to give me the anti handbook because Anti’s themselves don’t follow their own rules, it’s almost as if...

They use Morality to justify their harassment to things they don’t personally like

Hmmm, something to think about right?

Antis that have a little brain do point out how in Real Life pairing would be sketchy and some, yes they are right, they are just bad and sometimes we should consider the real life implications, sometimes we do keep using in fandom harmful tropes but many times we don’t realize because we all arrive here with the mass media influence on us.

It’s not about harrassing, I feel it should be about teaching and letting each other be free because in the end, fandom is separate from life and it’s a SAFE SPACE, I rather have young people explore and understand what they like and don’t in fandom rather than feel excluded and ashamed both in and out of the internet and with no way of letting their feeling out they might just give it a go in real life, we must educate to separate fiction from reality but at the very end, let them be free.

What if one day a minor gets a crush on a 25 y/o in real life? I rather that person acknowlege their crush, know it’s fine and don’t feel ashamed of liking that person but to please not be in a relationship and know exactly why, specially if said person approaches them.

I rather they write and create art imagining what it would be like in a perfect setting, let their feelings out in a shape of unreal characters and situations instead of bottling it up and feeling ashamed.

BTS is one of the biggets boy bands and many fans are minors, I rather they explore and dream what would it be like to be romantic with one of the band members (26-22 I think?) in their own innocent romantic way via fanfics and art, it’s okay to dream of that story were they pick you out of the mass and dance with you on stage than pursuing a real relationship with an older person.

Fandom is SAFE because it’s UNREAL, we can explore things we would never do in real life, we can have some leasure but know how it affects real life, we still have to be careful, we must know that Fandom in the end is just a bunch of people putting out their feelings, they must know to distrust a little because all of Fandom is just our own individual uncurated minds, I read once someone said they got pregnant (or their gf pregnant, can’t remember) because they didn’t know about sex ed and only educated themselves via nsfw fics

I mean again, we are not professionals, we are just people, we are imperfect and many times in fandom we are just chaotic, incoherent and just crack minds, we can and will be completely absurd with reality or try to stick as close to Real Life, it’s up to us to know both exist in the same place.

Each one of us has to understand that and allow others to have their place to be free, Fandom has existed for many years before Antis and oddly enough has become worse because of them, despite their puritian stance they only achieve the same as real conservative people, make us feel ashamed of ourselves, to shut out voices for THEIR gain, it’s never about us, it’s always about THEM

[epic-games-official]

Hello I was looking into Dr.jacobs for minimal scar surgery. Would you recommend him?

Putting under a cut cuz it’s kinda long

tl;dr I’m 3 days post op so I’m still kind of coping with recovery. I want to include the experience so you’re more prepared. This is the least invasive top surgery technique I know of but, surgery is still surgery, and it’s going to be something to overcome. In the end everything heals and works out well though. I would definitely recommend him, he’s very professional and does a great job. There’s no consultation fee so it doesn’t hurt to send him pics and ask if you qualify for minimal scarring.

Yes, I would. This surgery is less invasive and less painful than most other forms of top surgery. In fact, I think it may actually be the least invasive one. He’s the one who invented it, and the only other person I know who does it is Dr. Robinson who is near Cincinnati. 

My only complaint is a fairly mild criticism of confusion why he was saying certain homeopathic remedies may help. Iunno if maybe he just had patients in the past who believed in homeopathy & didn’t wanna argue with then, or maybe figured even a placebo effect is still an effect. I guess in his defense Arnica gels yield mixed clinical results. I’m still pretty doubtful they do anything though lol

Since he’s a cosmetic surgeon, he doesn’t cooperate with insurance companies, but he will request a reimbursement for you after you pay out of pocket (tbh I’m not optimistic my insurance company will go for it). It was $9500 with a 50% payment when I scheduled a date and the next 50% the day before surgery. 

His office staff are really nice. Because his office is in New York, you get to deal with the city, which is either really fun and great or really miserable depending on how you feel about NYC lol Prepare for traffic and tailgating though, that’s just how NY is. Also be careful of scam artists in NY, honestly you’d be lucky if you spent an hour walking or driving around that city without somebody trying to scam you. 

I’ve never had surgery before and I think I’m learning now I’m not good at dealing with it, so despite the noninvasiveness it’s still pretty difficult. There’s still the issue that the result immediately after is going to be gory and awful compared to how it looks after months of recovery. Right now my peri incisions still have dried blood all over them, my nipples are a gruesome dark purple, and I can’t really feel my chest and won’t be able to for months. I have to wear a tight binder for 6 weeks to decrease swelling which makes sleeping uncomfortable and breathing sometimes feels like I’m battling against the binder. And here I got top surgery so I wouldn’t need a binder. :Y 

The anesthesia gave me some side effects about 2 hours after surgery so my teeth were jittering and I was convulsing for like 5-10 minutes, thankfully that went away quickly and never came back, and I was prescribed Tylenol with codeine for pain (although he tells you to try Tylenol without it first but I misunderstood him and just went straight to the codeine one) so now I have constipation from codeine :’) I quit the painkillers day 3 post op cause I don’t need them so hopefully that goes away. I was prescribed antibiotics and anti nausea meds as well, the anti nausea ones taken right before surgery, and the antibiotics taken right before and then continued every 12 hours for a few days. I was able to eat about 3 hours after surgery with no problem. That’s all just the nature of getting surgery, I guess. YMMV though. 

This surgery still beats DI by a lot. The periareolar scars tend to heal about the same color as the areola so they’re hard to notice, and the ones under the armpit are so small you hardly can notice them as well. They’re just tiny pink dots. I didn’t need drains. I was able to walk pretty decently within an hour after surgery and never needing anything like help using the restroom or climbing up and down stairs. The day after surgery I could go out and do some light things, like a short walk in the park or seeing a movie (he encourages you to do this and not be unnecessarily housebound). The first two days changing position (sitting down, laying down, standing up, etc.) was somewhat painful but it’s not too bad right now. 

My advice would be to also contact people who’ve gotten minimal scarring with other surgeons to compare. I didn’t qualify for periareolar but I did qualify for minimal scarring with my breast size. If you’re smaller and also qualify for peri then look into that too.

Btw, if you haven’t seen it, another tumblr user has posted his results with this surgeon here: https://cantrecallgettinghere.tumblr.com/post/144517964039/i-cant-believe-im-writing-this-but-i-had-top

Jsyk I was a solid B cup pre op, didn’t smoke, am 22, 6 months on T, about average BMI. I qualified fine for the procedure and had very good results (skin tight against my chest, areolae naturally shrank with the skin tightening, almost no bruising and fairly quick healing).

I did take a pic of my own results but I don’t really want to post a picture cause it’s only 2 days post op so it doesn’t look that great yet (still a lot of swelling and bandages over the nipples) and I’ve seen bad immediately post-op pics reposted by transphobes so er. I mean it’s not *that* horrible, not even any bruising, but I’d rather not risk the possibility of giving anyone fodder. It looks about the same as that other guy’s anyway.

[savannahthehuman]

Wowzers I never use tumblr anymore, however I feel the need to vent somewhere. And this place is probably the most hidden yet visible piece of social media I have so I’m going to try and use it to cope, I guess. Word vom incoming.

I have a lot of thoughts, and each and every one of them hurt to keep inside of me. People tell me all the time to come to them if I need anything, or if I need to vent. Because I am always, ALWAYS, there for anyone if they need me, so it would seem normal to expect the same. I dont ask for much. Respect my boundaries, and my social queues. But also for the few times that I do need to confide in someone, please actually be there for me. I have been constantly betrayed, over and over, and it feels like im honestly stuck in Hell. I really dont know what a good friend is or what they are supposed to be anymore. I have put my heart and soul into people that didnt deserve it, and now because they destroyed me, i am so easily hateful and resentful of my new friends who seemingly betray me, even if they dont mean to. After getting shit on essentially by manipulative, toxic friends, I of course was chomping at the bit in order to find new friends or rekindle old flames. But the problem is that if they slip up on something I hold near and dear to me, I cant help but hold a grudge now, I cant let anything slide to save my life. 

I felt awful at the beginning of my break, and no one bothered to listen to me. I brought up my feelings to multiple people and they all just avoided the topic, in fact some literally replied with “lol” and then changed the subject like im some kind of joke. Even though most of the time they are great people and are nice to me, I feel like im back at square one. Alone. I feel like no one truly understands me, and that I dont have anyone I can 100% rely on if I need it. No one would ever go out of their way for me anymore. Part of me feels like I deserve this treatment. The other part says I deserve better. And so I sit in resentment and sorrow. It really feels like nothing I do is good enough for anyone because Im not memorable obviously. Im ready for everyone to completely forget that my birthday is monday. 

Everyone else’s problems will forever be worse than mine and be prioritized over mine. Im tired of this endless cycle of hell that im in. Im tired of psychotic friends that believe im not talking to them enough for their liking, or not giving enough in general. Who send me pictures of self harm wounds despite me requesting not to see them. For constantly begging me to stay because everyone else left. I OWE YOU NOTHING btw. I will be a friend to those who let me be a friend. 

ALSO Im tired of hiding what I enjoy or who I am. I feel like I cant express who I am or Ill be criticized for cultural appropriation or whatever. But let me introduce myself:

Hi. I’m Savannah. I am white and I enjoy all music, including music from different languages, primarily Korean. I have an interest in different cultures, including several asian cultures, and aspire to learn a few different related languages. I am an artist who loves to play video games, especially League of Legends. I am not skinny, and im slowly learning how to deal with that fact and accept it. I am an INFJ and enjoy time alone, and time with my friends. And no one can take that away from me. 

Basically, I just want one person that I would go out of the way for to return the favor to me. Or at least just listen to me when I need it. Thats really all I ask. I dont care about gifts, those make me uncomfortable if anything. Just. Lend an ear. But thats too hard I guess.