#I honest to god hate her
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Damn I forgot my meds work like….too well when I’m restricting successfully. Lately I’ve been taking them a few hours before I need to wake up and it helps me muster the energy to get out of bed, but this morning I’ve been jazzed since like an hour after I took them. It also gives me weird psychological thriller nightmares which makes me wake up
#for reference I took them at 5#am#yea I’ve been eating so fucking much lately they haven’t been working#but I crushed it yesterday#so here I am awake as fuck at 7am#ed but not sheeran#ednotsheeran#ugh I dreamed about the psycho who literally stalks me in real life#I honest to god hate her#I shouldn’t have to live in fear of anyone
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Hello Madam. Sorry Madam.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#madam jin#jin zixuan#jiang yanli#'Hey what is WWX trying to do here?' some kind of grab-and-twist maneuver that would be very upsetting to watch.#I know LWJ technically assists WWX in this scene in terms of blocking someone's blow on his behalf -#- but let's be honest. Real friends stop you from doing the truly stupid things.#Or maybe it was envy. Penis envy. The non-freudian kind.#Regardless...man this whole scene was just full of “and then someone else walks in”.#I swear to god every cultivator who is supposed to be hunting ends up wandering into this part of the woods.#a bonus for me because it gives me several good joke opportunities.#Madam Jin gets top prize for best entrance and exit. I wish her all the best. And a divorce…madam please leave him…#And can we please address the horses? I love horses. But why...why do they ride in on horses when they HAVE FLYING SWORDS?#I can only imagine it is for the dramatic flair? It just feels so jarring hearing someone clip clop in#and then another person swoop in on a sword.#The rules of mdzs's world can get fuzzy and I have to nod in an impressed manner at how much MXTX gets away not explaining.#Maybe the sword gets tired after a while and they need to give it a break? Maybe there is a sword union that dictates working hour limits?#…Would that make Chenqing a scab? Oh god it would… unions *hate* this flute!
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”shuro is romanticizing falin’s autism while simultaneously hating laois!!!!”
hey guys what if I fucking exploded
#talk away ⌞🍵🍋 ⌝#oh my god#I am not even a toshiro fan but this annoys the shit out of me#toshiro likes falin because unlike laois he relates to her!#with laois he’s constantly having micro aggressions done to him#even the nick name laois gave him ‘shuro’ is a micro aggression!#he doesn’t exactly like laois because he feels his boundaries are always being walked over-#-with laois#falin doesn’t do that with him and he relates to her incredibly#that’s why he loves her so much!#also gonna be honest here#I love chimera falin#but if I was in toshiro’s shoes#I too would probably suggest just killing her lol#*internal screaming*#toshiro nakamoto#shuro nakamoto#laois touden#falin touden#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#also#one last thing#he doesn’t even hate laois#he dislikes how he constantly ignores and commits micro aggressions against him#and also feels envious of him#but he does not fucking hate him#and while there is the big problem that toshiro never communicates any of that with laois
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Reblog this if you hated Lindy Pepper-Bean from the start
#honest to God I hated her from the start so this episode was painful anyway 😂#I’m fucking floored tbh like that was such a good fucking twist#I’m extra mad at her for betraying Ricky though I really liked him and I kinda wanted him to meet the doctor#doctor who spoilers#dot and bubble#doctor who#the doctor#ncuti gatwa#fifteenth doctor#dr who#dw
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Ginny Weasley 👑 - The most underrated character in hp, and the girl who deserves so much more love than she receives in fandom.
#y'all need to stop with the hate#fandom seems to hate strong women#there's nothing you can say to change my mind#she's honest kind witty strong physically and mentally smart drop dead gorgeous complete jock and a POETIC GENIUS#yeah she's short tempered but what girl isn't when she's going through puberty!? and had to deal with the crap she did?? HUH!?#and for the love of god stop comparing movie!ginny with book!ginny because book!ginny would have kicked movie!ginny in the ass#weasley is our queen#movie!ginny was horrible#i love her so much#my girl#ginevra weasley#ginny weasley#harry potter#harry potter ai#ai generated
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hey why s2 got the messiest worstest terrible awful fucked up compelling tangled dirty filthy complex nasty ass family drama ever. mianite was killed by his father using his mother's sword. how fucked up is that. hey do you know how fucked up that is. hey. hey wake up h
#mianite#mianitefa#mianite the character#ianite#dianite#mcyt#my art#i hate extrapollating compelling narratives of a chara bc every one of these clown dont realize how good of a story it actually is.#also s2 ianite was a bitchass coward but yall arent ready for that conversation yet#and before you even START i do not hate her she kept running away from her problems and when she DIED she did the same fucking thing oh my#HEY WHEN THE MOST HONEST GOD OF S2 IS THE GOD OF CHAOS? HEY? HEY WHAT? FUCKING. HUH? THE ONE WHO INVENTED ECONOMY? THAT BITCH?#full believer that alyssa countrybat would NOT fuck w/ s2 ia for obvious reasons but WILL fuck w/ s1 ianite bc at least s1 would tell her#she burnt down her fucking home village.#WHAT DO YOU MEAN S2 IANITE TAUGHT ALYSSA HOW TO SHOOT A BOW AND GENERAL KICKASSERY#i OBJECTIVELY refuse.
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Say what you want about SNW but I REALLY loved the way in the episode where Pike sees the future where Jim is not the captain of the Enterprise lil glimpses we get of him having just insane professional chemistry with Spock.
Like across realities and in different universes, Kirk sees Spock across the room through a video transmission and calls him impressive. It's like a jolt, bullseye, and laser focus towards eachother before they even meet in person.
They instantly agree and see eachother's point of view. There's SPARKS. I genuinely felt watching this as if they were the only people in the room (and I feel like the camera work in that conference room helped with that - purposely).
Not to mention Jim's full body turn he does when he watches Spock leave, which to me definitely betrayed some kind of interest on Jim's part.
I get being mad at comphet Spock, (though TOS did comphet Spock also so 🤷) and I think if snw went in a slightly different direction with Chapel they could do something interesting and canon-compliant, which is a shame.
But after finishing the 1st season I really do feel the show only gets better (when they lay off the one liners a bit and focus more on the honestly pretty cool episode ideas they have), and it looks like it's done with love, attention to details and understanding, overall, what star trek is. (Which I can't say about some other star trek media cough cough).
But most importantly, at least for the sake of this post and for the sake of the ship that started modern fandom culture, I feel like they understand the gravity of K/S.
Now, I'm not deluding myself that they're going to 'get together' within SNW, if it's to keep with the tos timeline even in the slightest. And as much as I enjoy the show, it doesn't seem likely for it to be breaking any new grounds. Besides, at this point in time it would make no sense, considering there's no space for them to be together in TOS until season three at best. Any alternatives would either be either out of character, or simply upsetting (such as an on and off relationship, a breakup, things I don't want to think about 😞)
HOWEVER. They already made a hint Chapel is bisexual, and while they do try to generally keep with TOS canon - they diverge from it only when they think they are the point A from which they can get to point B, which is TOS. I don't always agree with their vision, but I can respect it. So I wouldn't be that surprised (though ecstatic) if they hinted at at least at Kirk being bisexual, here and there.
And in TOS canon Spirk is inescapable. If we ignore the romantic interpretation, which is already pretty hard to ignore, then in their capacity as soulmates - a part of canon that's impossible to ignore. And with as little Jim and Spock as we got so far, I think they understand that.
In SNW keeping Kirk and Spock apart messed up the whole timeline! You could say that Spock dying is what really messed it up, but we can clearly see the episode we've seen in TOS from a different perspective and things went south the moment Chris started to act. Both Kirk and Spock are there - both the same as in the regular timeline, in their respective duties. But they're not together and them not being together is so bad for the universe that Chris has to go back in time to tell himself to die (well not die but suffer from a horrific accident).
And if it doesn't feel extremely monumental, soulmate level shit idk what to tell you
#spirk#star trek snw#snw#i reeaally am surprised with how good this show is. i know the characterisation is controversial though like i said i get some of it#i get how they think itd get us from point a to point be#but otherwise the little details they get right make me tear up#the enterprise is so REAL AND ALIVE!#i absolutely LOVE uhura. i love her characterisation her motivations and her fears#i adore una. shes such a cool character#id like chapel more if she was an original character to be honest. just the knowledge that its supposed to be chapel has me a little 😣#but honestly its fine#oh I LOOOVE TPRING!#and most importantly. i love the plot points! fhe episodes idea and execution#where mbenga is navigating a storybook version of the enterprise... it was so charming but also so so very tos. and that's what i like#about this show is that it fundamentally understands what tos is. the whimsy and the social commentary#dont get me started about the episode with the CHILD oh my god. it was fantastic. it was sci fi it was horror it was#it slapped me in the face#yeah and while i adore spirk with every fibre of my being most criticisms of snw ignore the fact that they just met#and that it's supposed to be the past to tos ahh i could write a whole separate post about it#but i just cant believe people who hate snw but like a/os 🤨#one of these shows has all the wrong characterisation doesnt respect the source material and just doesnt understand what star trek is.#and it's not snw!
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We, as a community, do not talk enough about how Juvia and Bora are exes.
Like HELLO
Mr. Number 1 Opp of episode 1 who actively participated in human trafficking dating the one and only done-dirty-by-Mashima water woman.
Also Bora broke up with HER? Sir?? There is so much to explore there that, like many things, IS NEVER BROUGHT UP AGAIN -
Okay - so were they childhood friends or was he using her for her looks/powerful magic? Did it start off transactionally or was there some spark there? How long did they date? Did she stay with him because she felt that no one would ever love her, so at least she could be valuable in a different way? Did he make her laugh? Or just put up a facade in front of other people? Was she his backup for a while, a bodyguard adjacent for when his schemes went sideways? Is that how they started? What about the end? Sure we see him breaking up with her in canon - but why? You can't tell me he suddenly didn't like the rain of The Rain Woman. I mean he can, he's a prick, but consider the alternative: Did she see catch on to his beginnings? Expose one of his scams? Grow critical of whatever shit he was getting into? Did she say something? Did she try to stop him?
The first time we see her she is completely covered head to toe in several layers and the rain does not stop. She says it's never stopped. But damn, doesn't it feel like turned from a drizzle to a downpour after him? I think it's purposeful. The layers are purposeful. The hints are there. She fully expects to be discarded after her fight with Gray. AND seeing how she comes out of her shell in the later arcs - watching her change her hair and her clothes, experimenting with new styles with an almost fervent joy - it just makes me wonder.
Could she not do that before? Was there an expectation there? A controlling factor? How much of her identity was she willing to sacrifice to quiet the fear of being unloved? How hard did the rain fall as it progressed, did it ever waver, or did it only get stronger and stronger.
And Bora? Fucking Bora?
Was it REALLY about the rain, or did she just speak up? Did she intervene and he had enough sense to refrain from trying to harm her. Because if the relationship was built off of him using her for magic and granting her some sense of companionship in return, then he damn well knew that there was no way he, a lil fire mage, could stand up to the actual force of nature that is Juvia. No, that meant he knew EXACTLY how to hurt her without inviting her vengeful side.
So he tells her she's too depressing. He reinforces how unlovable she is. How it's HER fault. How it's always been HER, how he's leaving her because of who she is - how he couldn't change her. He probably throws everything she's quietly confessed to him and leaves - safe from retribution and free to continue his fucking diabolical business. Because he knows he's hurt her worse than anyone else could. He knows that she'll either come running back, or she'll run and run and just keep running.
He doesn't know that Juvia only loved the idea of being loved. Not him. Bora can't imagine anyone not loving him (he can, but he's the run who's running, headfirst into greed with an enchanted ring on his finger - someplace Juvia never would've followed). Juvia doesn't run back to him. She doesn't run at all, the rain pours and she decides: "Fine, if I can't be loved. Let me be feared."
Maybe Phantom Lord orchestrated it, the master seems sort of cartoonishly conniving, and Juvia's magic is insanely powerful - but if that is the case, that doesn't change how easily Bora was bought. It doesn't change how Bora knew just what to say to push her to that point. It honestly doesn't change much of anything.
Bora? Pathetic.
Juvia? We all know she's always been lovesick and maybe if she was allowed a bit more characterization we'd be able to explore why. Maybe we'd talk about why she wore so many layers or kept her hair long. Why she kept a "frilly" pink umbrella but wore all blue. Indulging in a childish side while wearing a face of complete apathy. Why she adores the idea of being loved but can't seem to make it work. Why she's desperate for romance but finds more joy in the friends she makes - it doesn't stop her from chasing "true love" but she finds she doesn't need a lover's touch to chase the rain away anymore.
Because the rain was never about Gray, it was about Juvia. It was about how she was loved - not by others - but by herself.
I could spend eons critiquing how she was written... But for now I'm just gonna sit here and think about the consequences of Juvia dating Bora.
And I'm gonna laugh when Natsu and Lucy own his ass in episode 1. Because they don't even know it yet, but they're avenging a soon-to-be-friend. And honestly, I hope Juvia read about it in a newspaper, the pages soggy under her touch. I hope she sat in a park, the sound of pouring rain drowning out all else, read the headline.
And I hope, that even in that dark moment of her life, when she was the cruelest she would ever be, she read about Bora getting his ass handed to him. And I hope it made her smile.
#Fairy Tail#juvia lockser#Characterization#fairy tail headcanons#dragon contemplates life#And Juvia#In this essay of how I hate the writing of a certain character -#She's such a cool concept and there's so much potential to make her great#Her sacrifice in the Laxus arc?#CHEFS KISS#Her protective side?#Stemming from abandonment issues?#HELLO#Her badassery? The general struggle of trying to distance herself from her magic but eventually embracing it and learning to love it#And how learning to accept that part of her first comes with healthy friends and meaningful connections outside of romance#LOVE IT#but how her and Gray's relationship is written is just#Nope. Don't like it#She loses her entire identity and is demoted to “Gray's fangirl”#And is also a stalker - like an honest to God stalker#WHY IS THAT ROMANTICIZED??#We could've had something great here. We could've had a meaningful relationship between Gray and Juvia#Abandonment issues meet self-blame poster child#You know the whole: “Yeah we're fucked up but we can be fucked up together?”
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Law would love "House" and Sanji would love "The Bear" yes, but have you considered both of them watching Love Island together
#because i think they'd enjoy talking shit about people together#love island parties and it's sanji law nami and usopp judging people#i just think sanji would be into reality shows like REALLY emotionally invested#and nami would wonder how much they get paid for this shit and if she could make zoro go with her and cause drama#law would say he hates it but then he stays to watch the whole thing#law: how can you watch this garbage / sanji: you're watching it too / law: bc my annoying roommate is doing it and he won't let me read#law a minute later: she's such a fucking liar what the hell is wrong with her can't she see he's being HONEST OH MY GOD-#sanji: garbage you say / law: shut the fuck up#lawsan roommates au when#'and they were roommates!' and they share netflix account#one piece#trafalgar law#black leg sanji#lawsan
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loved hearing lena put her foot down in the newest ep….. gwen and her are quite literally an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object and it is So entertaining to watch.
can’t wait to see how their rivalry concludes (it will almost certainly end with one or both of them Dead)
#i hate (love) gwen so much#like#lena is Right. she endangered her coworkers over what? a Title??#‘shes an honest to god lady’!! does it look like i give a fuck???#you KNOW she eats people#lena deserved this moment#she seems like the type to hedge her bets and save her energy whenever she can#however when she needs to put her foot down. she can and will#in the greater interest of her subordinates#love how different she is from elias#and how that almost certainly means she will Die and Soon#(sorry i love lena i dont Want her to die ok. im just a messenger)#tmagp#tmagp 16#tmagp spoilers#talking lots and saying nothing#not art#the magnus protocol#lena kelley#gwendolyn bouchard
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patting myself on the back for enforcing the most basic of boundaries with my mother by refusing to talk to her until tomorrow after she tried to insist on calling me for the fourth time today in as many hours because i'm sick and she wants to "check up" on me. this is why i don't talk to you unless i have to!!! because you'll use any excuse to be up in my business every 5 minutes and make me feel like you think i'm 2 years old and incapable of taking care of myself!!!
#🐉#like shes absolutely OBSESSED with my health to an insane degree because shes one of those alternative medicine types#and every time i so much as mention i have a headache its all that she can think about for the rest of the week#and it becomes her mission to obsess over my symptoms until she either wears me down into letting her send me her stupid sugar pills#and essential oils (which i never use so i hate the waste) or i tell her to get off my back#ughhhhhh i swear to god if she tries to treat me like a child when i visit im going to tell her my honest feelings and i know#she wont love that
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honestly when i tried to figure out why some fans are so mad at ivypool these days i was looking through avos and. the scene where ivypool apologises to twigpaw for not supporting sending a patrol for skyclan is genuinely very sweet??
i actually saw someone characterize this as "ivypool forcing twigpaw to forgive her". is it crack you smoke. is that what you smoke. you smoke crack?
#she apologises THREE SEPARATE TIMES#she acknowledges that dovewing and tigerheart's situation made her ignore twigpaw's feelings#she reassures twigpaw that this is the right thing for the clans. she tells her she's proud of her & tc is lucky to have her#you guys do understand that to apologise you have to Do Something Wrong?? or is that the part that's so unforgivable?#i am fASCINATED by the treatment of dove and ivy by the fans in recent years#i'm still pondering it but i think there are a few root causes#1) I think a lot of people read oots as kids and hated dove & identified with ivy because of the underdog storyline#maybe this fandom worship of dovewing is kinda part of that? wanting to feel like you've grown out of fandom misogyny?#but i also feel like 2) tigerdove has really increased dovewing's popularity#and i think because ivypool is so staunchly opposed to their relationship people then have to villainise ivypool#3) is maybe too spicy of a take but to be honest#i think people are subconsciously way more comfortable with a woman whose story ends in heterosexual marriage and childrearing#dovewing's mom role in TBC to shadowsight probably helped her popularity#so ivypool whose relationship w Fernsong & her kits is much less of a focus. and is mUCH less maternal#and who still exhibits Ugly Female Emotions like anger and hurt#and who God Forbid now holds a position of authority...#is too complicated to fit into :) she's such a good mom :) she's such a good mate#dovewing is easier to like because she tends to be a victim of circumstances (🤫 and often lacks agency in her storylines)#since ivypool regularly uses her agency to Fuck Up#fans revert to idealising dovewing because not only is she too good to do bad things. she also doesn't do Things in general#never mind that ivypool is the one who sacrifices and apologises#anyway <3 i think if i made a full analysis of ivy and dove post OOTS i would get too many spicy anons so i will cower in the tags
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like why did they change where Vegeta was when Cell announced the cell games in the anime
why did they make this vegeta starting shit with yamcha instead of chillin in the lab with his family? why did they take Bulma out of the lab? Why'd they say she was Out while Dr Brief was repairing 16? Why did they change Bulma working on advanced robotics to running in late with her baby?
it's the same scene except: - Bulma's actively at work being a scientist - Vegeta's not being rude to her (or anyone else!) - Vegeta waits for Trunks instead of leaving the room - Cell interrupted the airwaves, which means Trunks and Vegeta were just hanging out with Bulma and Dr B while they were working
Those are all Great Character Details!! That the anime rails against!!
#these cowards afraid of showing Vegeta actively choosing to be around his wife and child even when he's Bad#Because Goku who is Good never ever even once makes that choice onscreen outside of filler#and then they justify that choice by making Chi-Chi seem horrid and unreasonable for (checks notes) Not Wanting Her Child to Die#anyway I am once again being bitter about anime vs manga klasjdklasd#I can't believe I let the anime convince me I hated Goku man Goku's SUCH a good and ridiculous character in the manga#the anime just SUCKS at letting him be who he's always been#and has to reframe and recontextualize and reword everything he does so that it seems like he's Actually Quite Mature and Thoughtful nO#THAT's VEGETA YOU COWARDS#also the fact that bulma said she wouldn't live with him at the beginning of this arc to him casually hanging out with her and trunks#after cell beat his ass and humbled him is REALLY GOOD SUBTEXT for their shared relationship having improved without showing it#it's great subtext for all three of them and toei just went 'nah' and decided to make it a whole group shot so ...? Master Roshi could sit#and explain how ??? Tournaments Work??? Just so Cell could log on and also explain how tournaments work?? God it's been so long#since I've watched the anime and now when I do it just makes me mad aklsdjskja the manga is SOOOOO much better#there are some spots where the pacing is more ideal in the anime like goku turning ssj for the first time but like man. everything else is.#like why are you making Goku snarky with Vegeta dude his clapbacks are SO much funnier when they're just Tactless Honesty#like Vegeta's not insulted by Snark bitch he grew up in the Freeza force that man was raised by THE bitchiest drag queens#Vegeta's insulted by someone saying something deeply and insultingly True to his face as if it's the fucking weather#Goku in the anime is like 'a battle of wits hoho' but Goku's purity is part of the joke he's not snippy he's just got no social etiquette#He's just honest! He's not trying to be insulting. That's what MAKES it insulting! That's the WHOLE GAG of why Vegeta can't stand him#Goku is always just telling the truth and it's always the rudest shit Vegeta's ever heard in his life#'it's a sunny day! i'm way stronger than you! see you out there bud!' 10000% Genuinely Friendly. Golden Retriever-Ass Pure.#Infuriating. Hilarious.#anyway I looked at anime clips to make sure I remembered things right and that was a mistake#as someone who has a soft spot for it and grew up on it -- compared to the manga it's bad and it's always been bad#and toriyama was right to be disinterested in watching it jesus christ they BUTCHERED his work#anyway this has been another shot of haterade with sketches thank you for scrolling my rambletags askljdask#dbtag#i just truly can't get over how they make Vegeta call her 'woman' in the anime and he literally only ever calls her Bulma in the manga#except for on namek when he refers to her as 'the/that woman' because she is a complete stranger#why is he calling her woman like he's a 1940s american husband and not an extraterrestrial from a deeply advanced society toei
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why are you, as an adult in 2024, still hung up on reylo. why are you still mocking the shippers. why do you believe yourself to be superior only because you dislike a stupid ship from a fucking space fairytale. girl (gnc) get a grip
#it's ridiculous. this ship is... stupidly cliché. like if you know fandoms at all#you could easily guess why people would be into it. hello?? have you tried to watch tfa without your hate-on-kyle-ron goggles?#did you watch their scenes together? you don't have to like something to recognize the hints#hell. at the time i didn't really like jonerys but i realized they were going to be a thing when i read agot in 2011#like folks. it's been nearly TEN LONG YEARS. let it go. LET IT FUCKING GOOOO#and for the lucy/cooper shippers out there who think reylos are (again) delusional when they compare the two ships:#no. *you* are being delusional only because you think reylo is unsexy and uncool (which is your right to think btw. obv)#if you can't see why someone would like both of these pairings for similar reasons... idk what to say honestly#people compared it to hannigram... honestly. again i see why they would appeal to anyone who's into both ships#i really do. but... unpopular opinion (since i'm more of a clannibal fan than i could ever be of reylo):#they are more similar to reylo than will/hannibal. there i said it#i'm not talking about the writing (admittedly the quality of it was questionable). i'm talking about tropes#never mind that imo the ghoul is more akin to vader than kylo but whatever#hannibal is an unapologetic kind of villain. he's not gonna have a redemption arc and that's okay#cooper is an antivillain who used to be a good man and became a disfigured cruel bastard. a parody of himself#lucy is him. him before the bombs dropped before he discovered the person he trusted the most wanted to commit genocide#nice. moral. polite. infused with the Good Old American Values™. he's basically her dark side#all of this is very hannigram/clannibal. i'm not denying it at all#but what'll likely happen is that lucy's actions will have a positive influence on the ghoul and remind him of what it means to be a man#and that's way more reylo-like. sorry.#beauty&thebeast/villain with some hidden good in him+morally righteous heroine/enemies to lovers etc.#i mean. hello??..... having said that. i'm not so much of a reylo shipper anymore and tbh never was. i really liked it at the time#but i was never fond of the st era. my fav characters are vader and leia and revan from the old eu. just saying#*and* it's also not impossible lucy gets darker with the ghoul as her traveling companion. in fact i wouldn't dislike it at all#if done well i mean#but i would still like for people to be intellectually honest and less puerile. god knows i have my notps#but i really don't give a fuck about the shippers. good for them i guess? i have better taste lmao but that's heavily subjective#val rambles in the tags#val speaks#txt
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Bella B goes dancing
#bella my charater of all time I love her so much#this post does not endorse duncan I fuckin hate him#but at the same time I do love him as a character. god what a little bitch lol#pathetic man. and not in a tumblr way I’m talking honest to god plain old pathetic. and it is very entertaining.#poor things#bella baxter#poor things fanart#fanart#i'm going to read the book soon i'm excited#i heard it's very different from the movie
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did she see this post lol
#anyway. we just talked for an hour.#i cried my fucking face off.#(am in fact Still crying my fucking face off!)#being vulnerable is perhaps the hardest thing in the world.#and i hate how horrible it makes me feel. how guilty i am to be honest. how terrified i am of what my truth makes me.#but holding it in and repressing it NEVER FUCKING HELPS. why do i DO THIS SHIT.#if i was just honest from the beginning instead of constantly rationalizing my discomfort away until it was screaming pain#then maybe this WOULDNTVE been one the most humiliating conversations of my life!!#FUCK. JESUS.#anyway. we agreed we need to figure out how to become best friends again.#and we agreed to make quality time for each other.#and we took responsibility for our contributions to the bullshit.#and i feel. just terrible. but i’m glad we talked. i’m glad she said something.#i wish we had talked so much sooner. fuck.#we’ve been friends for 14 years. that’s over half my life. when am i gonna learn to just TALK TO HER IF IM UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING. god!!!!!!#izzy.txt
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