#I haven't posted any writing in months and I am nervous

[chronosdawn]

Finally back with some writing and it's a little drabble inspired by this post which had me in chokehold as soon as I read it.

Zhongli x GN!Reader, Soulmate AU

Word count: ~1.5k

Liyue harbor was just as beautiful as your grandmother had always described, with its layers of orange and green-roofed buildings overlooking the shimmering blue water that lapped gently against the rocky foundations. You had no idea how your grandfather had ever talked her into leaving it all behind for the snow-covered wastes that made up most of the scenery around your tiny hometown in Snezhnaya. Even the mere memory of the bitter wind that used to sweep over the plains was enough to make you shudder despite the balmy temperature of Yujing Terrace, sheltered as it was by a mountain your grandmother claimed to have been raised by the Geo Archon himself.

Currently the space was bustling with locals and travelers alike, all anxiously counting down the seconds until this year’s Rite of Descension. The Yuheng of the Qixing, a young woman with long purple hair done up in twintails, was doing one final check over the large stone table laden with items that you couldn’t quite make out from your position towards the back of the crowd. While it might have been nice to have a better view for your first time attending the ceremony, unlike the business owners clustered around the front, the source of your income didn’t depend on the events of today so you were content to take a backseat to the proceedings. 

A hush fell over the crowd and you peered over the shoulder of the man in front of you to see that the Qixing member and the two attendants standing either side of her had ceased fussing over the layout of items on the table and were now stood with their hands folded in front of them. A moment of stillness before the spectacle that was to come. 

The Yuheng appeared to take a breath before raising her hand in some sort of sign as the air around the terrace began to crackle and spark with power. A set of precisely executed gestures had the energy surrounding the table start to coalesce, gathering into patterns and symbols that flickered in and out of existence too fast for you to make sense of them. The Yuheng turned, directing the energy towards the stone table where it then shot into the sky in a great beam of golden light. 

The heads of all present lifted skyward, watching as a mass of clouds formed around the beam, twisting in on themselves until they resembled a swirling vortex—a gateway to the heavens. 

Moments after, a speck of bronze appeared amid the churning whites and grays and a murmur of excitement ran through the crowd as the majestic serpentine body of Rex Lapis began to emerge. You felt as though the breath had been knocked from you—your grandmother had described the grandeur of the Geo Archon’s dragon-qilin form from the time she’d attended the rite as a youth, but no mere words could do justice to the subject of legend gracefully descending through the sky, sunlight catching on the golden fur at the tip of his tail. But despite the magnificence of the god, your eyes couldn’t help but catch on the long claws at the ends of his limbs and the sharp, jagged spines that ran along his back, a faint shudder running through you as you imagined what they could do if turned upon human flesh.

You looked away as you forced the images from your mind, wondering where they’d even come from in the first place. It was as you did so that you became aware of a tingling warmth spreading its way across your left forearm, right where your soulmate mark was hidden beneath your long sleeves. But if it was reacting like this then that meant—

A mixture of anxiety and excitement curled in your gut as you swept your gaze over the crowd, the fact you were in the presence of a god momentarily forgotten with the knowledge that your soulmate was somewhere here amongst these all these people.

But no matter how hard you searched through the sea of faces, all of them were still staring at the archon who’d just descended from the heavens with awe on their features. Okay, perhaps your soulmate was just caught up in the excitement of the rite. You just had to wait for them to notice and then they’d look through the crowd, as you were now, and your eyes would meet like in the stories your mother used to tell you as a child.

It was as you were running through how you were planning on introducing yourself when you became aware of someone’s gaze on you, the heavy weight of it urging you to duck behind the bodies in front of you. 

You didn’t however, instead steeling yourself as you turned your attention towards its source and met a pair of blazing amber eyes set in a decidedly inhuman face.

Why was Rex Lapis staring at you? Was he offended that you weren’t paying as much attention to the rite as everyone else? Or had he somehow been able to sense your connection with your soulmate flaring up?

It was then a crackle of lightning shot up your arm—all of the heat with none of the pain—and just like that you knew.

No. No, it couldn’t be, there was no way—

Yet no matter how much the logical part of you tried to deny it, the truth had just been burned into you and now sang through your veins. You were Rex Lapis’s soulmate. And judging from how intensely he was staring at you, he knew it too.

You couldn’t breathe, could barely think under the sudden weight of it all. Would he reveal the truth? Have you dragged out and paraded in front of all these people? What if someone had already noticed something?

Please, you silently begged the deity in front of you and anyone else who would listen, please don’t say anything.

After what felt like an eternity, the pressure on your shoulders vanished as the god turned his attention away from you and addressed the assembled crowd before launching into some financial forecast you were far too frazzled to pay any notice to. Sagging where you stood, you took deep gulping breaths as you scanned over the throng. Everyone’s focus was firmly on Rex Lapis and whatever divine wisdom he was currently dispensing—it didn’t look like anyone had noticed anything, thank the gods. Or rather god, you supposed, daring to glance at him once more. Whether he’d heard your pleas or chosen not to reveal anything to his own ends, you had no way of knowing.

The only thing you did know was that you had to get the hell out of this nation. Half the reason you’d left Snezhnaya in the first place had been to avoid becoming shackled to a god during the increasingly frequent Fatui recruitment drives, you certainly hadn’t come all the way to Liyue just to end up bound to a different one.

This was all wrong, your soulmate was supposed to be some merchant or moderately skilled adventurer—someone normal you could settle down and enjoy the simple pleasures with. No part of the plan you’d made for yourself when you came to the decision to leave your hometown featured being soulmates with a six thousand year old god. One the Seven at that, Celestia above. 

No this—it was too much. Far, far too much for someone like you to deal with.

While a part of you wanted to bolt right then and there, you forced yourself to stay until the end of the rite, certain that even if that ancient gaze was no longer bearing down on you, he’d notice the second you started to sneak away. You had no idea how the archon whose soul was bound to yours would react to you attempting to run for the hills right in front of him but you decided you didn’t particularly want to find out.

Time dragged on and on, the deep voice of Rex Lapis filling the air as sweat pooled in your palms and your heart tried viciously to beat its way out of your chest. Finally the rite came to a close and you watched warily as the massive scaled form of the Geo Archon rose back towards the sky without so much as a glance at you.

The second the golden fur of his tail vanished into the clouds, you turned and sped away from the offering table as quickly as your legs could carry you without breaking into a run. Perhaps, had you been a little less panicked, your legs would have carried you south towards your meager apartment to shove as many of your possessions you could fit into a bag before leaving for good. Right now, however, you didn’t want to stay here a moment longer than absolutely necessary so you took the path north instead, the quickest route away from the harbor. You had no idea how long you had before your soulmate might come calling and it wasn’t a gamble you were willing to take, not when you were already questioning the absurdity of attempting to run from a god. At least you had enough mora on you to cover the essentials until you reached the Stone Gate and could flee to Mondstadt—after that you could work things out from there.

Now deprived of the immediate presence of your soulmate, the marking hidden under your sleeve had begun to ache—an invisible hand tugging you back to where some divine tapestry felt you were meant to be.

You ignored it, dutifully forging onward without once looking back, completely unaware of the amber gaze watching you go.

[ahgasegotarmy116]

It's Hard to Believe | Jungkook One Shot

Summary: Getting pregnant with your best friend's baby definetly wasn't a part of the plan... Pairing: f!Reader x Jungkook (fwb, f2l) Word Count: 2.7k Warnings: A tiny bit of explicit and suggestive language but nothing crazy a/n: This is something I started writing at like midnight and it's kinda shit but I thought I might as well post it since I haven't posted in a while (Like five days short of a month wtf?!?!? How has it been that long?!?!) (I just barely checked rn lmao my bad 🥲) p.s. I kinda wanna do a full on series on a concept like this but it'll be different and less fluffy but that won't be happening for a long ass time but yeah lol Requested by a lovely anon 💜

"How am I supposed to tell him?" I ask my friend Sam for the millionth time since I found out. "Y/n just tell him. You guys have been friends for how long?" she asks and it's like I'm having deja vu from both of our responses. "Like ten years" I mumble and pull my sweatshirt sleeves down over my hands in an effort to stop my nervous fiddling but it only makes it worse. 

"Right and you guys have been messing around with each other for over a year now, maybe even more...I don't wanna know" she says while holding her hand up in a way to assure me that she doesn't need the details. "Just tell him. If he's as great of a guy as you keep on telling me he is then I promise everything will be okay" she says and places a hand on my shoulder before she gets up off my couch. 

"Where are you going?" I ask while she shrugs on her jacket. "Didn't you say he's supposed to be here around five?" she asks and I nod my head, checking the clock and seeing that it's already 4:30. 

"Yeah...are you sure you don't wanna stay and say hi?" I ask and she glares at me. "Let me know what his response is to that bun in the oven and then we'll talk. I wanna figure out if he's an asshole or not before I decide to waste anytime on him" she says while lacing up her shoes. 

"Promise me you'll tell him tonight?" she asks and lifts up her hood, getting ready to shield herself from the pouring rain outside. I nod my head reluctantly, that being way more progress than I've made for the past few weeks since I found out. "I promise" I utter under my breath and she smiles, pulling me in for a bone crushing hug. 

"Text me if you need me" she says, worried for what might happen but hoping for the best. "I will...thanks" I whisper and she nods her head before walking out of my door and turning slightly and waving to offer me one last farewell.

I close the door after I see her get into her car and lean my back up against it, steadying myself for a second and taking deep breaths, trying to stop my racing heartbeat before pushing off of it and tidying up before Jungkook gets here to distract myself. 

Sam has been the only one I've been able to count on and honestly the only person I can trust since I haven't told anyone else. She was the one I called when I missed my period and she's the one who brought me a pregnancy test...and then when out and bought me ten more because I couldn't actually grasp the concept that I was pregnant...am pregnant.

Jungkook and I have always been careful and taken all the necessary steps to keep this from happening but I guess we got careless this time. 

Through out this whole arrangement we've made it very clear to each other that we're not sleeping with anyone else but neither of us are looking for any sort of commitment either so that's why this has gone on for so long. 

Like it or not though we're going to be committed to each other in one way or another no matter what because I'm keeping this baby. No matter what he says I'm keeping them. 

Jungkook is my best friend, the one person who has been there for me through everything. He's seen me at all of my highest highs and especially at my lowest lows and no matter what he's never made me feel shitty about it. I know he's not the kind of guy that'll turn on you because of something like this but I can't help but still feel terrified. 

This wasn't supposed to happen but even if this child wasn't made with love from his side...it was made with love from mine. 

I don't know how long it's been since I fell in love with him but I know I shouldn't have said yes to this whole fuck buddy ordeal. I just couldn't stand the thought of him being with someone else so when he offered up the idea I said yes.

I figured that if this was a way to prevent him from getting his heart broken by all those sorry excuses of girlfriends he's had in the past then I guess I'll be okay with breaking mine.

He's been acting different lately though. He's been a lot touchier, asking to come over more often, going out of his way to help me with things, offering to feed me all the time and all of it is making me feel like he already knows. 

Does he know? Have I started showing already? I haven't really noticed a difference in my body yet but he looks at me naked a lot more often than I pay attention to myself naked so I mean I guess he could've noticed right? 

Only one way to find out though...

A half an hour later I hear him take out his keys and unlock my door and soon I'm greeted with a smile that tugs at my heartstrings. 

"Hi baby" he says, using that pet name he's become very fond of since this whole ordeal started. The sound of it after finding out I'm pregnant with his baby has made me a little uncomfortable though since I haven't told him yet. 

Don't get me wrong I love it when he calls me that but I can't help but think that if this goes south that he won't ever call me that again. 

Maybe the hormones have started to scramble my brain already because those uncomfortable feelings are quickly thrown away when I take in the sight of him after he shrugs off his rain coat. A simple black baggy hoodie and jeans engulf his form and the comfy sight just makes me want to curl up in bed with him and forget about everything and everyone.

Just him and I, it's always been him and I. I just don't know if this little one is going to change things. 

I place a hand on my stomach for a second as a way to gain some strength from my itty bitty baby before finally working up the courage to greet him.

"Hi" I greet him softly, walking over to where he's stopped to take off his shoes and when he looks back up at me he smiles again and kisses me. I sigh into it, savoring it for just a little bit longer and when it finally breaks he looks down at me with concern now written all over his face. 

"Are you okay?" he asks, sensing that something's off right away from the just the small change in the way I kissed him. I hesitate for a second then simply hold out my hand for him to take and he does, following behind me as I lead him over to my couch. 

Getting this over with sooner rather than later is my best option right now so there's no reason to delay. 

He needs to know, he deserves to know.

We sit there in silence, longer than he would like us to since I can tell how tense his body has gotten in a matter of minutes. "Y/n you're scaring me" he whispers, not wanting to pressure me but relaying his feelings. 

I take a couple more deep breaths before finally starting. "I need you to listen to me and I need you to please not speak until I'm finished" I say while looking down at my lap, not being able to meet his eyes. 

He murmurs a soft 'okay' and waits for me to continue, taking one of my hands and placing it in his lap. He needs some form of physical contact to keep him grounded since he's not too sure what to expect and I let him, knowing I need some reassurance too. 

Even if I don't know what his reaction is gonna be, in this moment I need it more than ever.

"I guess there's really no right way to go about saying this because this wasn't supposed to happen so I'm just gonna come out and say it..." I start off and he squeezes my hand, encouraging me to keep going. 

"I missed my period...over a month ago...and I haven't had it since then" I say and finally look up at him where he has an unsure expression. It's not one that's mad or disappointed with what I've said thus far which is a good thing but more like he's trying hard to hold himself back so he can keep that promise. 

His hold on my hand hasn't loosened, in fact it's gotten even tighter and that gives me hope that we'll work this out so I take another deep breath before continuing. 

"I tried to kid myself into thinking that it was late but when another week passed by I got nervous. I asked Sam to get me a test and it came out positive. I didn't believe it and thought it was a false positive and so to ease my mind she went a bought ten more from a bunch of different brands and...all of them came out positive" I say and he still looks at me with that same expression, waiting for me to give him the okay to speak and so I do. 

"How long have you known?" are the first words out of his mouth and although they're not negative they aren't necessarily positive either. "About a month now" I say and he nods his head, taking another second or two to formulate what he's gonna say next. 

"I'll support you no matter what you decide" he says and I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding in. "I wanna keep it" I say and he nods his head and smiles softly at first and then as the seconds go by it gets wider and wider making my heart beat faster. 

"Am I allowed to get excited now?" he whispers and I can't help but chuckle as tears start to prickle my eyes and give him a nod. "You're excited?" I say, my whole being slowly overcome with emotion. 

"How could I not be?" he scoffs playfully but that answer has me confused. "But Jungkook we're not together. I mean we're not in a relationship, we're just friends" I explain and there's a playful glint in his eyes after I say that that's making me even more nervous.

"You wanna know what I thought you were gonna tell me?" he offers up, slightly changing topics but I look at him in a way to urge him to continue. "I thought you were gonna break up with me" he says and I smile, "Jungkook we're not together. How could I break up with you?" I chuckle in disbelief. 

"Correction, I thought you were gonna break up with me before I even got the chance to ask you to be my girlfriend" he says with a grin and my jaw drops, the dots all connecting as to why he's been acting so different lately. "You were gonna ask me to be your girlfriend?" I utter quietly as if we were in a crowed room and I had a secret for just the two of us.

"I had actually planned on asking you tonight" he explains, walking over to where he had placed his backpack on the floor, taking out a bouquet of slightly squished flowers. "Sorry they're all beat up. I forgot and rode my bike over here so I didn't really have any other option but to put them in there" he says almost as if he was nervous, rubbing the back of his neck and it's then that I notice how pink his ears have gotten. 

He is nervous

I take them from him and smile, waiting for him to say it but he simply stands there and admires me and I can't help but laugh. "What so funny? I told you what happened to them" he utters through pouty lips which only makes me laugh more. "No, no it's not the flowers it's just that...don't you have something to say?" I ask, calming down my chuckles and when he looks at me with the same confused expression I have to try my hardest to keep the laughter at bay. 

"Do you have something you would like to ask me Jungkook" I rephrase it and after a second his lips go from a pout to the shape of an 'O' as he's figured it out. "Oh um, yeah, right. Well I um" he starts off, rubbing the back of his neck again while stuttering and trying to find the words and after struggling for a second I decide to poke fun at him again. 

"Jungkook I am literally carrying your child and you're too afraid to ask me to be your girlfriend?" I laugh, giving him a slight reality check which he scoffs at before responding. 

"I was trying to remember what I had rehearsed to say to you but now that you're being a little brat I guess you'll never get to know all the nice things I was gonna say" he retorts, his voice suddenly taking on a darker tone that sends a shiver through my body and he smirks when he sees my reaction to it. 

He cups my face and rubs his thumb along my bottom lip, making them part and he leans in as if he was going to kiss me but stops just shy of my lips. "Will you be my girlfriend?" he whispers, nudging his nose against mine and making me smile. 

"I'll have to think about that" I play coy with him which he chuckles at. "You know if you weren't pregnant right now I would have thrown you over my lap for that smart mouth" he warns and I smile before leaning in and kissing him for just a second before pulling back. 

"Yes I'll be your girlfriend" I say and nudge my nose against his as well and before I can register it my back is on the couch and his lips are pressed against mine, the kiss not rushed but full of so many words that have yet to be said and he gives in, not being able to hold it in anymore.

"I love you" he says, pulling back and looking down at me to see my expression which is completely dumbfounded to say the least. "You what?" I ask and he chuckles, "Is it really that hard to believe?" he points out and I guess now that I think about it it really isn't.

"I guess we've both been in love with each other for a while now huh?" I smile and his eyes light up at my round about confession. "Say it" he says, and I can feel my cheeks heating up. I hadn't planned on actually saying those three words to him even though I've felt them for so long but I don't want to hold them back anymore. 

"I love you" I whisper and he smiles, "Say it again" he repeats, clearly not believing it just yet. "I love you Jungkook" I say and the little switch up with attaching his name to the end darkens his gaze. "I guess there's no chance in me getting you pregnant a second time right now huh?" he asks, sliding his hand up my thigh and I giggle. 

"No I think that's pretty much impossible but the odds are never zero" I say and he rolls his eyes. "I'm trying to tell you that I wanna hit it raw" he states the obvious while rolling his eyes. "I know I know...and the answer is yes Daddy" I tease, testing to see how that word affects him now that he knows.

He tongues his cheek at that making me bite my lip, knowing that's gonna be even more of a trigger word for him from now on. "Daddy huh? Well I guess that title is a little more fitting now isn't it?" 

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @coralmusicblaze @whoa-jo @00frenchfries00 @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater (Rest of the tags will be done in the reblogs 💜)

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[asvtrials]

Hate that I want you

Hate that i want you      masterlist

part one      next part idea: @floydsfae tags: @ilovejeansosomuch. @spikedfearn (inspired by) summary: Parting ways with a friend group was always hard, somehow trying to rejoin that group was even harder. Especially when a particular quick-tempered someone is rather bitter about your choices. warnings/tags: lots of swearing. friends to enemies to lovers. Bjorn is a bitter and jealous shit. angst a/n: I'm not very familiar with the Alien franchise so forgive me if there are any inaccuracies. This is my first Tumblr post and I'm not used to writing in the second-person narrative so sadly this is not my best work but I still hope you like it. English is not my first language so please be nice. word count: 2394

“Fuck no.” That was your only answer before you covered yourself with your blanket and sank even deeper into your messy bed.

“Come on, Y/n!.” The muffled voice of your friend, Kay reached your ears under the blanket before she started to pull it away from you.

“Leave me alone.” You whined while trying to hold onto the covers until eventually Kay gave up

She sighed and sat next to you on the bed. “This is gonna be good for us.” She tried to reason. “You think that idiot was your way out? This is the way out.! She shook you a bit under the covers to make sure you were actually listening.

You rolled over, unsure if she actually believed in this nonsense or was that desperate to leave Jackson’s Star. You wouldn’t blame her if she was.

You stared at her for a long moment, brows furrowed. “Who had this idea in the first place?” You asked, surprised that anyone would think this would work.

“Tyler and Navarro. They said they pick-”

“Tyler and Navarro? Damn, they are really getting desperate.” You cut her off with a scoff.

“So, are you,” Kay added.

You couldn’t deny it.

You were tired. Tired of living the same day over and over again. Wake up at 6 am to the same darkness that followed you the entire day, get ready by 6:30 am, and begin your walk to the bus station to take the overcrowded bus that drove all of the workers to the mines.

Thankfully you were able to be transferred to the kitchen, away from the cramped caves. And as sad as it sounded, that was the only good thing that happened to you in a while.

You didn’t know if it was that or the resentful feeling of your fresh breakup but you let Kay pull you out of your bed and push you into the shower. You just knew you wanted to change this overwhelming routine of the past two months.

As soon as you got dressed, the girl led you through the busy, dimply-lit streets and toward an alleyway where the rest of the crew would wait for you.

You didn't know how to feel about this reunion. You haven't really seen them in a while, spending most of your time with your now ex-boyfriend. You were surprised they even included you in this ‘mission’. You figured it was probably Kay and Tyler, possibly Navarro too.

You turned around and were greeted by the figures of your old friends, Tyler and Bjorn.

When they met your nervous stare, you noticed Tyler’s expression mirrored yours even if it was for a split second. He quickly concealed his uncertainty with a smile that reached his eyes.

“Hey, Y/n. How have you been?” Tyler chuckled and pulled you into a hug, startling you a bit but soon enough you returned the affection

“Fine, I guess—” You began but before you could continue a different voice echoed in the empty alleyway, accent thick and tone dripping with accusation.

“We weren’t sure if you'd bless us with your ladyship.”

Of course, it was no other than Bjorn who would make a comment like this. He earned a glare from Tyler but he just shrugged s as if he was just making conversation.

An annoyed smile tugged at your lips as you spoke “Seems like you didn't change. Like at all.”

Bjorn ignored your comment and turned to Kay. “If she's all caught up, we should go.”

You raised your eyebrow at the way he brushed you off but you decided to let it go. “What about Navarro, Rain, and Andy?” You asked.

“Navarro’s fixing some other parts of the ship and Rain is—” Tyler paused for a moment, sending a glance at his half-sister. You followed his eyes but Kay just smiled at you “Busy with her job,” Tyler ended up saying.

“Is Rain all right?” You asked, chuckling a bit at their failed attempt to cover the truth.

“You’d know if you weren’t too busy snogging your boyfriend every chance you got,” Bjorn remarked with a smug smirk. You could feel your blood boiling at the mention of your ex.

“Bjorn! We talked about this.” Tyler warned the boy but he just scoffed.

“What? She was gone for two months and now acts all worried! That’s a load of bollocks!” He argued, gesturing towards you with a huff.

“Oh, fuck off, Bjorn!” You raised your voice over Tyler who was about to cuss his cousin out. This was already hard enough but having Bjorn act like a massive asshole wasn’t something you were going to sit through.

You did abandon them. You were a bitch, and a bad friend, and whatever this asshat wanted to call you but you didn’t need to hear it, especially from Bjorn out of all people.

You just wanted to have a better life, at least as good as it could get in this shitty colony. A future to look forward to and Noa made it look possible. He had ambition and connections and could easily get a better job than most of the Jackson Star residents. At the time you were stupid enough to believe that he wouldn’t drop you. Yet, as soon as he bagged a job in the ‘Office of Colony Affairs’ he dumped you because, in his words, you had ‘different life goals.’

Fuck. And fuck him, and Bjorn and whoever dared to call you a whore or an opportunist. All of you had the same life goals, get the fuck out of here. That’s why you were here. As crazy as this plan sounded, at least you would be doing something to get away from this place.

“I’m not going to apologize for wanting something better for myself!” You snapped.

Bjorn ran his tongue over his teeth, letting out a low chuckle to hide his irritation “So you dropped everyone to get that.” He stated before he met your eyes once more. You didn’t know what you saw in his gaze but it wasn’t simply anger.

“I didn’t drop any of you!” You began, throwing your hands in frustration. “I kept in touch with Kay and Navarro. I asked about all of you! If you weren’t such a dick you’d realize that you made it difficult to talk to you!”

Bjorn remained quiet as if he was trying to come up with a comeback. He tore his gaze away from you when he turned around and mumbled “Whatever.”

“We should really get going now,” Kay spoke nervously, more to Tyler than anyone else.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Tyler agreed noticeably glad that the fight would come to an end, for now at least.

You sent Bjorn one last glare before following Kay and Tyler, but he didn't look all that affected.

The walk to the abandoned warehouse was rather long. A couple of years ago it was busy with workers and clients, mostly to buy components for mining haulers and gear. But right now it was collecting dust and vines so it was the perfect place to get some forgotten parts and tools.

Tyler helped Kay jump over the tall fence while you and Bjorn were already on the other side. You smiled at the sweet moment between the siblings trying to ignore the panging feeling in your chest.

You tried to ignore the intense need you had to glance at the boy next to you but you couldn’t help it. His gaze was fixated on the tall building, holding the cigarette between his fingers. You tried to push away the bitter feeling that cursed through you.

It wasn’t that long ago that he helped you the same way, finding any excuse to feel your skin under his fingertips.

But that was just a childish game you two developed. Flirting jokingly, touching a bit more than necessary to see the other’s cheeks redden and hear your friends groan in disgust. Both of you comfortably balanced on the rope between friendly banter and romantic curiosity.

When both Kay and Tyler landed on the other side of the fence, you began walking toward the building.

You stepped inside and an aerie breeze hit you, from the way Kay started to rub her shoulders you guessed the rest felt the same.

“Bloody hell…” Bjorn mumbled as he walked to the front desk which was covered in dust and some dead bugs.

“Yeah, that’s nasty.” Kay agreed, keeping close to you and Tyler.

“I’ll go check the first floor, someone should check the second,” Tyler announced the plan, staring at the sketch of the parts Novarro drew him.

The group was surrounded by silence, the four of you looking at each other awkwardly until Kay decided to make it easier for all of you. “I can go with Bjorn.” She said cheerily trying to ignore the tension.

“Good, Y/n we’ll go together” Tyler nodded toward you and started walking up the stairs.

Bjorn's loud voice stopped both of you in your tracks. Bjorn tried to sound uninterested even amused as he spoke “I see, you act all tough yet can’t even spend five minutes alone with me. Scared I’ll hurt your feelings, innit?” The way those last words fell out of his lips in such a pitying manner really struck a nerve.

You knew what he was doing. He was baiting you. You saw him do it to everyone, although you weren’t sure if Andy even could understand that he did it just to annoy him.

Still, you weren’t one to give him the satisfaction. You let out a dry chuckle as you rolled your eyes. “Bjorn and I are going to check the second floor” You declared, not bothering to turn around.

“I can go with Y/n?” Kay tried to intervene but neither you nor Bjorn listened as you walked up the stairs.

“Remember, in and out! Be quick.” You heard Tyler’s voice bounce off the walls as you continue your path to the second floor, Bjorn hot in your trail.

You entered a room as soon as you reached the second floor. By the numerous boxes and shelves filled with dirty items, this was clearly one of the storage rooms

“You search the right side, I'll search the left side,” You said when you noticed Bjorn still walking behind you.

“Don’t tell me what to do” He quickly retorted.

You let out an exasperated sigh and walked to the right side instead, ignoring his snarkiness.

Neither of you talked for a long while, putting equipment that seemed useful in your bags or simply looking through the dusty machinery.

Bjorn was the first to break the uncomfortable silence “So how are things with your boyfriend.” You didn’t miss the way his tone changed to a mocking one at the word ‘boyfriend’ but you chose to ignore it.

You stayed quiet for a moment, not sure if you wanted to answer. “We don’t have to talk.”

“Come on, I’m trying to be nice.” He spoke over the loud noise of his hand rummaging through some drawers and you could practically hear his smirk.

A groan managed to slip past your lips before you said “We broke up.”

You heard Bjorn’s movements come to a halt momentarily followed by a breathy laugh. “Can’t say I'm surprised you dumped that twat.”

You remained silent once again only saying a drawn-out “Yeah”

“Wait a fucking minute.” Bjorn laughed, walking closer to you, a smug smirk spreading on his face “He dumped you!”

The amusement in his voice made your anger flare up once again causing your face to contort in irritation but you tried to ignore it and just get the job done, practically slamming the drawer shut.

“Why did he dump you? Did he find someone that matched his status? He did get promoted to a whole-ass desk job” He snorted.

You tried to be calm, you really did but all of it was so recent “Can you just shut the fuck up for once in your life?” You exploded, making his eyes leave the shelves and focus on you. “Is it really so funny that I was dumped?”

Bjorn stared at you for a long moment, before turning to continue searching. Obviously not without a sarcastic comment. “It’s funny that he dumped you but sorry, didn’t know you were so in love.”

You closed your eyes and exhaled through your nose to try and keep your cool. “As if you know what love is?” You tried to keep your voice from shaking with anger.

Bjorn met your scowl once again but to your surprise, his expression didn’t match yours. Unlike yours, his eyes didn’t hold any rage but something that made you unable to look away as he moved closer to you, looming above you.

“I know you two weren’t.” The low tone in his voice had you breathless for a moment.

Does it even matter if you loved Noa? Falling in love was never the point.

“You don’t know anything” You spat out, your voice as intense.

He raised his eyebrow at your words, staring down into your eyes “Really?” He dragged out the word. “You were in love with that asshat? You really want me to believe that?”

“I don’t care what you believe, that’s none of your fucking business.” You bit back, taking a step closer. You wanted to remain unbothered by how the corner plush lips tugged up but the warmth that spread through your cheeks was impossible to ignore.

“You’re not answering my question.” The almost gentleness in his voice quickly disappeared as he laughed, his breath hitting your face. His fingers slowly reached up to flick a strand of your hair mockingly.

You were about to slap away his hand when you heard Kay’s voice from the corridor.

“Guys, where are you?” She shouted.

“Uh—we’re here Kay” You yelled back, stepping back from Bjorn. You really didn’t notice how close you two were standing.

Soon enough Kay’s figure appeared in the doorframe.

“Glad to see you didn’t kill each other” She joked. “We found the thing Navarro needed, we can go.” She announced.

You hated how your eyes met Bjorn’s even if it was for a second, and you hated the feeling that erupted in your stomach even more.

[eliotlime]

November update post thing

Drawing of me watching short-form video content without sound vs one where I am lol

If you use short-form video platforms of any kind and would like to help me with my survey you can do so here! Though I'll probably be closing it sometime next week (2nd November 2024 ish) to collate the data for submission.

I've got a metric tonne of deadlines due next week but you know what it's blog update time!!

This is also not going to be scheduled to post because I usually write these on the 29th but I forgot! So it's getting posted now!!

💀 School..

Yeap as I've said I'm in school so that's still in progress, I have completely no idea what I'm doing everyday and as it turns out no time to worry about it either I got deadlines baby!!!

I mean in theory I understand but it's all a big question mark to me, like i need to be reassured like a nervous dog that I'm doing the right thing and what not

And because of that I'm real sorry about pushing the Abacelsus zine to the back burner, I actually got quite a lot of it done before I had to lock in for school of course.

And though I said I had a lot of sketches I didn't post well they were shittier than I liked them to be so I wanted to make it look nicer. Oh well dems the breaks.

Another screenie of my school work, they didn't really go into depth about how to specifically design stuff so it's basically me frankenstien-ing stuff I've seen existing and just trying my best lol

I mean.. overall it's funnnn... i guess... I do like projects but everyone in my class are adults with established jobs or goals. Even those who are around my age seem to know what they're aiming for too, feels like I'm an unemployed little sucker fumbling in the dark. Can be humiliating I won't lie, why is learning something new so embarrassing?

Aside from that I'm seeing people be so social online while studying too and it's almost mesmerizing, it's definitely survivor bias but those that can balance it are fascinating to me.

📖Anthology Update

Agh enough of that debbie downer bullshit, I'll tell you what I've also got due next week! That's right!! The drafts for my anthology!

Screenie of one of the panels I posted onto my ko-fi discord!

I'm not even half way done and it's due on the 6th of December. I'm beyond FUCKED. Anyway I can get it done by then but the school shit is sucking the life out of me through my ears.

☕ Ko-Fi Page

Deadlines aside I've also randomly launched my Ko-fi Membership page! I haven't quite had the time to properly promote it but it's there and I've been updating it every so often

I've got stuff up there already and comics of things that aren't polished (or sfw) enough for me to post. Especially if you're interested in my characters and would like to support me, here's a good hub to check all of it out!

The Ko-fi Discord updates the most frequently, basically every time I draw anything (Which is quite often!). The actual ko-fi gallery is only being updated every week to prevent spam.

Shout out to my one ko-fi member, wormfriend. Right now it's quite funny to have just the one but I definitely would like more so plz join!!! I promise I draw a lot!!!

🌯 Wrapping it up...

That's all I've got for you this month, real grind-y and uneventful but hey some moths are like that. I talked about opening my commissions again in December and I intend to keep that promise but as of yet the first week is not looking too hot haha. I'll consider it on the 7th but whuff it's real packed right now!

I don't have really anything else to say or add that isn't either

a) incredibly negative and self deprecating

or

b) cussing the shit out of disrespectful transphobic anonymous asks I've been getting

so I'm just going to end this hastily written blog update here and get back to work!

I leave you with this cool down drawing of a honda civic and my attempts at a motorcycle that can also hover in the air.

As always thank you so much for reading and I've been so busy I haven't even had time to work on my annual redraw that's been sitting in my folders gah! If you’d like to support me, here’s my ko-fi page again and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.

If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: eliotlime@gmail.com

XOXO, Stay weird!

-Eliot :)

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Update 27 Nov 23

Ko-Fi thing

You can call me Nyarla, I guess.

Or "Yo She-Bitch." Either's cool.

Soooo I figured I might need to make one of those MASTERLIST things because I cannot stop writing (which is the most amazing feeling ever when I've been in a writer's block for months).

It's just One Piece Live Action right now, but as my confidence increases I might post some of my other fandom work.

I'm Open for Requests for OPLA fics and headcanon. Primarily Character X FemaleReader, but I'm flexible.

I do reserve the right to not write every single request that is asked, since I am human and my abilities do have limitations, but I swear I will try.

I'm not squeamish about much of anything, so don't refrain. I'll always post any necessary ⚠️Trigger Warnings⚠️ right here with the links.

I'm always open to requests for Shanks, Mihawk, Zoro, and Sanji. Possibly also Buggy, Luffy, Usopp, Koby, and Helmeppo, but I haven't written them much, so please bear with me if it takes me a bit to respond.

Honestly please bear with me if it takes me a while to respond to Asks/Requests in general because I get really nervous about getting them perfect.

Some things about the weirdo that's writing this shit can be found here

Masterlist

The Lovely Alphabet (NSFW)

Sanji

Zoro

Shanks

Mihawk

Dialog I Presently Have No Use For

(But might eventually) (basically mini dialogue-centric fics that may make there way into something else later or might not)

01 Get Out

02 Can We Keep Her?

03 What Happens in Loguetown

04 Coffins and Coping Mechanisms

05 Kitty

06 Send Help

07 Pep Talk

08 Death Wish

09 Oh No Not Again

10 Shanty Time!

11 No Sleep

12 The Throngler™

The Best Boys

First Kiss

Material Boys (NSFW)

I Don't Even Know Music Or Something?

Ooooh...Kinky ;D (NSFW)

In the Kitchen

HAMMERED

Because I Got High

Whoops

Short Stuff

Hobbies

ABCs of Kink (NSFW)

D is for Dominance (First Kiss sequal)

P is for Public Blacksmith's Daughter Part 1 . . . Part 2 . . . Part 3

Mihawk

Your Scars Are Mine (NSFW)

(Trigger Warnings for Self-Harm, Blood, Implied PTSD)

Ch. 1 . . . Ch. 2 . . . Ch. 3

Ten Years (unofficial sequel to YSAM) (NSFW)

Mood Swings (mostly SFW headcanons)

Hearing Problems (NSFW eventually)

Guess this is important

All OC Face Claims and Character Sheet Links

Ch.1 . . . Ch. 2 . . . Ch. 3 . . . Ch. 4 . . . Ch. 5 . . . Ch. 6 . . . Ch. 7

Sanji

Late Night Chats

X plus-sizeReader Headcanons (NSFW)

Tongue Ring headcanons

Zoro

Strawhat Stowaway Ch. 1 . . . Ch. 2

Shanks

Redhead suppremacy (sfw headcanons)

!!COMIMG SOON!!

(...I hope)

(Some titles subject to change)

Tongue Ring (F is for Food Play)

Blacksmith's Daughter part 2 (P is for Public, ABC's of Kink)

O is for O Denial

B is for Brat Tamer

[k-s-morgan]

Hey, saw that you haven't posted in a while. How's your heart health, are you doing any better? Wishing you the best and a full recovery ❤️.

@internalanguish: Are you doing ok? I’m a little worried

@themoonfoundmyfantasy: Hey, how are you? x

Anonymous ask 1: Just sending some love ❤️❤️❤️

Anonymous ask 2: How are you Katrin??? Did the russians gave you and u people some little peace at least for a day ? I am really worried about you 🥺

-----

Hey! Thank you all for checking in <3 Logging in and seeing such level of support never fails to make me feel so incredibly good and warm. I really, really appreciate it!

Starting with the fic-related news: the new chapter of ATLWETD is finished! Now the editing stage begins.

Second anon, ah, Russians didn't leave us alone last week, but this week was better, at least for my city! Unfortunately, it seems like they finally started producing the Iranian drones at their own plants, so the amount they use to attack us daily is insane now. It was never this bad before. In the 12 days of October, Russia already used 563 drones to bomb our cities. Before, it could use this number throughout the whole month.

These sick monsters aside, this week turned out to be rather exciting for me! At first in the bad way: I got very sick on Tuesday. It was some stomach bug, I think, because I kept vomiting and absolutely nothing helped. The last time I felt so bad - or ever - was when I first got COVID. The fever started later, in the evening, but starting with next day, I felt absolutely fine. Weak, but that's it. So I'm not sure what this was.

And then I got a very interesting temporary writing job offer from a government official. I'm a little nervous because it's not something I ever worked on before, and the pressure is intense, but I hope to get it done! Who knows, it might open some great opportunities for me in the future.

Thank you all again for your care and patience <3

[onigiriforears]

After approx. 2-3 months of studying Japanese I started to read free graded readers online and then graduated to a collection of short stories that I purchased off of Amazon. I thought that the reason I was starting to have trouble understanding sentences was because I didn't know enough vocabulary but it was because I neglected grammar completely. It was sorta drilled into my head off of Youtube creators to just study kanji, vocab and simple sentences as much as possible before even touching grammar. I feel absolutely lost, dude. I am at the 5 month mark now. I can "breeze through" kanji for the most part. (as in, I can actually retain it in a decent amount of time) I decided to study grammar about a week ago. It is SO FREAKING HARD. I don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. I don't know if it's supposed to feel like what I thought I knew is being ripped apart at the seams, stapled together, and then torn apart again....but it does.

Do you have any tips for learning grammar? Is this feeling normal? Can you tell me when the pressure in my skull will subside? I am using Bunpro's free trial but I'm unsure if this tool will actually help me. I write tons of notes to flip through but I still fail to give them the nuanced answer they're looking for. I really enjoy the setup of Bunpro and I want to like it since it's similar to WK but I'm not sure if I'm going too fast or there's a better way to learn. I stopped learning 5 new grammar points a day and started doing only 2. (I also have Genki I and watch GameGengo. He explains things in a way that's easy for my brain to understand.) Sorry for the long post but any insight would be appreciated. I'm a bit nervous asking people in the language learning community for help or insight because a lot of them treat it as a way to show how fast they learned/1-up others. Tumblr's langlearn community is a lot different with what I've seen (or maybe I'm just following the right ppl lol)

Hi! Thank you so much for waiting for this response--I'm sorry it took so long. Your message was one of the ones that popped up when they locked my ask box (they actually still haven't answered me on why it was locked so 🤷‍♀️). To make up for that, I'm gonna be longwinded because I think that this is a super valid and important question that others may also want to know the answer to!!

Pls pls PLEASE DM me if none of this is helpful or if you'd like to talk more about what you think you need help with!!

I think that sometimes when we're learning a new language that we know is so overwhelmingly different from our own language, we focus on the things that we think will be the main hinderance and sometimes we forget the key points. You might be thinking "how did I forget grammar?" but I would say don't beat yourself up about it! Many of us focus on the things that we think are our problems(--the last time I studied for the JLPT, I focused on my weak point too much and then was frustrated with myself during the exam bc I neglected the other areas.)

I don't want to lie to you and say that learning grammar will is going to get easier because that's not the case for everyone. Think of learning grammar vs everything else as learning different types of math or science--have you ever had a friend that was absolutely phenomenal at algebra or calculus but couldn't do geometry? Or a friend that was wonderful lab partner in chemistry but struggled in biology? They're struggling in biology because it requires a ton of rote memorization in comparison to practical application and math that's present in chemistry and rote memorization may not necessarily be their strong point. Personally, I think that's also why a lot of us struggle with certain grammar points. There are some that just click with us immediately and then there are others that we have to see over and over and over and over and over--you get the point--just for us to find a single sentence with it that we understand. If you're math oriented, we need to figure out a way to no longer make grammar points rote memorization for you, but to turn it into a formula of some sort. I actually write my notes out in ways that are like that--I use plus signs (+) in my notes not because the textbooks use them but because my brain genuinely reads it as "noun + particle + grammar point = a sentence that makes sense" because, for me, formulas don't fail. Your weak point doesn't have to be your weakness--you can turn the weakness into a strength that works just for you.

I've been going at this for years and every single professor or Japanese friend (or even people from the discord server) I have can tell you that I've struggled with pretty much any grammar point that included ~ように--and it wasn't because I wasn't trying, but because I couldn't find myself using any sentences that with those grammar points because I found the alternatives/similar ones to make more sense. Surprisingly, it wasn't until I was reading 夜カフェ for our book club that I was actually able to start grasping the meaning (ngl, I still haven't used it myself--I'm notorious for using alternatives); I was finally witnessing it being used in a way that made sense in my brain.

The frustration you're feeling when you encounter a new grammar point or overload yourself with too many things in one go is completely normal and I promise that a ton of us in the Japanese langblr community have definitely experienced it too! It probably feels like everything you know is being ripped apart because your native language may have a SVO (subject-verb-object) format while Japanese has a SOV (subject-object-verb) format--your 1-to-1 translations for your notes may not be helpful in the beginning because you're still trying to wrap your brain around the fact that your words still need to go in another order than you're used to. And then you add the new grammar points and concepts on top of that (like particles and other things) and it can become overwhelming and frustrating. Sometimes, you're going to find some grammar points just downright annoying--especially when you find that there's no equivalency to it in your own language. But don't give up!

I know this is a super cliché thing to say, but practicing them will help. If you can, I would make note of the grammar points that you're struggling with, try to make sentences with them, and ask somebody to check them and explain exactly why (or why not) they're working and then ask them for examples because they may have an even better way of explaining it to you than what you've come up with for yourself!

I can look back at old notes and see when I wrote a sentence as an example just because a textbook/professor used it but I didn't actually understand why it worked at the time and then I can also find notes where the sentences written as examples were added once I finally found something that clicked for me.

You've already done yourself a favor by learning a lot of vocab, kana, and kanji because now you'll be able to try out an array of ways to pick up grammar instead of just a textbook. (I will make a note that if you're looking to take the JLPT, I would recommend having a list of grammar points that you would need to know for the level that you're planning on sitting for because there's no guarantee of what will or won't pop up on the test.)

Another important thing while you're practicing: be comfortable with making mistakes. We all make them, but when you're learning a new language it's important to be ready to make mistakes and to welcome them with open arms because it gives you a chance to experience and learn in real time.

ALSO: for you specifically--because you're interested in reading, you might enjoy learning grammar through tracking the different grammar points through what you're reading and using the sentences as your examples because they're all going to be cohesive. And if reading books or other things totally turn you off right now, maybe games? Animal Crossing and Pokemon are very nice games to play in Japanese for people that are just starting out! You may also enjoy using Lingo Legend--it's an JRPG language learning app that I beta tested and I think that it's a nice way to review (it has some fun incentives). I'm not a big gamer, so I struggle with learning through games, but I've been picking up a lot of grammar through reading because I focus on finding things that I'm interested in, rather than things that are "at my level." When I start a manga, I will scour a ton of websites and forums and bug a ton of people when I come across a grammar point that I can't wrap my brain around because I want to be able to understand what's going on.

We have book clubs and gamers in my discord server, as well as places for people to post what they're practicing or to ask for help. We have people of all varying levels and different skillsets that love to share their wisdom with others.

I haven't used Bunpro, but I know that @sammilearns has, so she may be able to weigh in on that! And @tokidokitokyo @nihongoseito @chouhatsumimi @kanpeki-bekki @burgeoning-ambition probably also have even more tips that me--I'm trying to tag people that I know we all learn in different ways, so their tips and tricks might be just what you need!

Please weigh in, fellow langblr members! How have you been learning grammar? Are you game-ifying it? Have you turned it into math equations? Have you managed to tie it in with your special interest? I can't wait to see what people add to this post!

[simdertalia]

a little update

If anyone has noticed that I haven't posted as many huge sets this month, there has been some things going on at home.

This past week I have been taking care of my partner. They are having a bit of an emergency issue that came up and have a procedure at the hospital. Since they are feeling quite bad, I am needed to be attentive and need to go out and get things, I am not able to work on CC items the entire day like usual. I've been at their side, making food, laundering some items, and cleaning up, just making sure they have everything they need. I will be back to the usual when they are feeling better, hopefully in a few days from now. Like usual I have tons of stuff in my WIP folder.

Any well-wishes and good vibes are certainly welcome, I've been a worried nervous wreck 💗💗💗 And I hope all of you are healthy and well.

----------Update September 10th-------------

This is unfortunately, & worryingly, taking much longer than "a few days". My partner has been through all kinds of uncomfortable tests, a hospital procedure, and we are now waiting to see a different specialist (I'm trying not to write too much so as to respect their privacy).

It has also started affecting me as I myself have chronic pain and illness that worsens with stress. But I am still doing the best I can to take care of them (while also trying to work from home and also work on CC), and when I've been feeling bad they take care of me too.

I hope you all are doing well, and are healthy! 💗💗💗

[disasterbuck]

Hi!!! Ooooh There is so much to choose 🤪🥰💕❓️💻💖🤝🤖🌎🥵

omg just go ahead and make me write everything lol (affectionate) I couldn't keep myself to strictly 3 sentences for all of these, so they vary a bit 🥰

🤪 - clumsy

first time in MONTHS I've written anything for this wip 🥰

This lasted for approximately five minutes before the bell went off and he found himself piling into the truck next to Eddie. He'd tried to slip into another seat, but Chimney had gotten there first and shot him a curious glance. After that, Buck had resigned himself to his fate and sat down beside the love and torturer of his life.

🥰 - confession / surprise date

this one ran away with me a little, how exciting!!

Eddie's lips parted in surprise as Buck began ladling the stew into their bowls. Buck was nervous, accidentally moving a bit too quick and splashing some sauce out of the bowl onto Eddie's shirt.

"Shit! Sorry," he said, moving the dish back to the island bench and taking a step to go and fetch a wash cloth.

Before he could get far, Eddie grabbed his arm and gently reeled him in until he was standing right beside Eddie's chair, looking down at him.

"Relax," Eddie said softly.

"I just want it to be perfect," Buck said. "But now I've already gotten food on you and we haven't even eaten anything yet and–"

Pushing his chair back to stand up, Eddie silenced him with a kiss.

💕 - first kiss

Eddie wasn't sure what to say to that. The truth was he was scared, but he knew he needed to face this no matter what. If Buck had picked up on enough to think they were dancing around each other, that had to mean something.

❓ - is this a date?

It turned out that there was only one table left, which Buck accepted eagerly.

"Alright, up you get," Buck said once the booking was finalised and he'd hung up the phone. "There was only one slot left and it's for 6:45, so we've gotta hustle."

Eddie let out an exaggerated groan as he got to his feet.

💻 - eddie's online friend

this is a goldmine that I completely forgot about lol. I might have to share more snippets at some point.

Stranded: so?

Stranded: are you gonna ask him if he's into men?

GI: stop asking me that

💖 - sorry but I fell in love tonight

Buck watched in delight as the fear drained out of Eddie's face, replaced with wonder.

that's all I've got in me for this one atm

🤝 - touches

The next escalation comes one evening as they're curled up on Eddie's couch together. Eddie sits between Buck's legs, his back to Buck's chest, when Buck takes a risk and slides his hands up the man's thighs. Eddie hums, happy, and tips his head back.

After that, they kiss whenever they can.

🤖 - who's got a crush

a few extra lines for this one as well 🥰

Had Buck really just said what he thought he'd said? No, he couldn't have. Eddie must have misheard.

"Sorry, what?" he asked, giving his head a slight shake.

"Oh my god, Dad!" Chris exclaimed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "He wants to have your babies!"

"Christopher!" Buck wheezed.

🌎 - alternate universe

How could he be right about when Christopher was coming back, but wrong about so many other things? Why didn't he have any memory whatsoever of getting married to Eddie? It couldn't be amnesia, because he had too many other memories all packed into his brain.

🥵 - that's hot

A moment later he heard footsteps and turned to see Bobby and Eddie walking towards him. Bobby looked extremely proud, and Eddie looked…

"Marry me," Eddie said, eyes fixed on Buck's face.

Make Me Write ✨

taglist:

(I hope it's okay that I'm adding you all here! Just thought you might like to read some snippets, and figured this was a good post for it since there's such a variety. If you're interested in even MORE, go to my blog and search 'make me write'. I've tagged all of these asks with that tag.)

@dluoser @taketheplanspinitsideways @loudenthusiastic @wallywise @mxrcjqckspnchqsc

@i-am-married-to-my-fandom @therosesaredying @stillfuckingtired @classtrialguru @speggle

@awesome-igi @natnuszsstuff @olliesrants @crazyfangirlallert @delirium1995

@brah3280 @meanceclosetohell @anythingeverythingallofthetime @izzysbeans @sunflower-eddiediaz

@darkrose6578 @veronae-buddie @steadfastsaturnsrings @loveyouanyway @inell

@spicyrottingbrains @gnoeltop @idealuk @donationwayne @lemotmo

@smilingbuckley @realpersonwithrealfeelings @superlock-in-the-tardis @mjthe14thdoctor @strxwbereee

@idontknowwhatimdoing777 @ashleigh2658 @mari-lwyd-fannibal-blog @mineyneedsmoney @faithhopeandmisery

@spotsandsocks @unlifeira @tofanasmuse @pirrusstuff @buddiedaydreamer911

@littlevampireprincessuniverse @misshiss727 @i-put-the-star-in-bastard @hermioneindisguise @dangerpronebuddie

Let me know if you'd like to be added or removed 💕

[lorelune]

hey fellas and folks i have been meaning to write something up about this but haven't known where to start or where i'll end up. but i DO feel like it deserves addressing.

(having my joker moment joker moment)

i really love this niche. i found a home in it during a very difficult time in my life, and have found many friends and lasting irl connections from the writings shared and conversations had. this place is so incredibly, INCREDIBLY dear to me. despite going through many horrors (tm) while in this community, i continue to stay because there is a lot about it that i love.

however, in the last... i don't know, year or so? there has been such an abundance of discourse, gossip and drama both publicly and privately that has exhausted me to no end. these things have always existed, they always will, but in the past year they have felt so draining and despairing that it has made finding the same comfort and joy in this community is hard. a lot of times, impossible!

one of the things that genuinely makes me SO sad is the tags. i made most of my lasting friendships in this niche but seeing a writing in the tags that i enjoyed and dming the author and shouting together. i have found so many great writers in the tags, and i still crawl around them today looking for fic!! HOWEVER. i find it difficult, not just because of the abundance of vague smut-related comphet posts with a slew of character names underneath from unrelated fandoms (to each there own but it isn't a posting style i enjoy!) but moreso because of the INSANE number of posts by antis that get thrown into the tags. main tags, character tags, x reader tags. it is so deeply disheartening to be looking for fic to enjoy and get jump scared by a posts saying horrible things about those who enjoy dark content. respectfully if you're above the age of eighteen and looking for writing on tumblr dot gov, i HIIIIGHLYY recommend using your literacy to first read ANY article or study summary about human psychology and sexuality and why fantasy does not equal what someone actual desires! signed a sex-repulsed ace spec mf who writes and enjoys smut. hate to use myself as example, but i hate even more to see folks in the tags be puritanical and pro-censorship under the guise of progressive ideology.

i want to say that there are parties within this niche that are CONSISTENTLY at the center of drama and conflict. no matter what fandom, no matter the url changes and lurking, they are there and its the same mfs. this is a complete vague, as i'm sure the parties in involved in the targeted harassment and ensuing drama do not know who i am, nor know that i know. but i DO <3, and so do plenty of other writers in our niche who have politely blocked and left you alone. do us all a fucking favor and do the same, instead of instigating harassment and being hateful cunts.

in this vein, in my closer circle, i know that these events (especially in the last six months) have caused folks to become conspiratorial and assume bad faith. i understand this is a protective measure because folks have gone through the wringer. however it makes me so sad to see what is often folks who likely do not know any context or horrors of the community, be painted so poorly in casual conversations when most of the time, communication is made to create a connection, not to start a fight.

i find myself reflecting on WHY i have come to not feel comfortable in this community. why i don't enjoy writing the same way, why i don't feel the same security i once felt, why i get so damn nervous to post a silly thought or thirst on main, and i find myself coming back to these experiences and the subsequent fear that follows. perhaps i am a weak-hearted coward, but i find it hard to find joy when i feel surrounded by constant negativity and genuine cruelty. it is hard to want to share any of myself when i am so deeply aware that whether it is strangers or people i have become close to, what i enjoy and what i choose to express and share can be so easily twisted into something it is not.

i know it would be easier if i had a thicker skin, or felt secure enough that this didn't bother me, but part of the core problem is that this community has made me insecure. it's a loop. it is one that makes me genuinely sad, as this place once felt so much like home. i know it still can be, but it certainly won't be sitting here, starting at blank documents and text posts wondering to myself 'why can't i just put words on paper' while i have the cortisol levels of a prey animal.

i'm not sure if other folks have felt similarly, or find themselves in the same point. however if you do, or you find yourself resonating, here's to feeling seen 🥂

- papa salami (lore) 🌙

[rattlyglitch]

Cheering on for the SDC pt 2

(There's one more chapter after this one. Christmas posts will begin around December 10th I'm thinking. Mostly been relaxing and writing on a non Christmas oneshot and the Leona request from the fairy anon from earlier this month or last month. I promise I haven't forgotten you fairy anon)

Silver was enamored by Ortho when he seemed to have heard Grim from across the room. Even when he flew over Silver couldn’t help but be amazed even more and at a loss for words. “Does everybody in this school have super hearing? This lounge's buzzing with people, and we were over ten meters apart.” Ace obviously wasn’t exactly sure how Ortho had heard them either.

“The directional mic my brother installed in me can pick up human whispering fifty meters away,” Ortho replied. Lilia seemed interested in that fact as much as Silver was. “Oho! Impressive. Not even the fae and beastmen have many capable of that.” Ortho seemed proud in Idia as well. “Heh heh! I know, right? My brother's amazing!” Ortho seemed a bit embarrassed at his own rambling.

“...Ahem. Anyway, Idia got permission from the headmage to let me come with him to class. He's not desperately lonely or anything, okay?” Cater apologized once he had heard Ortho out. Yuu was apologetic as well. Silver though couldn’t help but continue to look at Ortho in awe even more so after he had explained how Idia had made as Ace had said a singing voice. “Th-that's really awesome,” Silver said, looking at Ortho amazed still.

Ortho noticed Silver and let out a giggle. “Thanks. I’m glad you agree.” Silver had only just started talking with Ortho when Vil suddenly entered the room. He seemed to have a grand entrance almost and there was something that looked like glitter everywhere.

“I find it difficult to believe that anyone on this campus would be ignorant of who I am, but courtesy dictates an introduction all the same. I am Vil Schoenheit, housewarden of Pomefiore. This year, the headmage has assigned me a duty... To select entrants to compete in the Song & Dance Championship. We will now begin the ensemble auditions.”

/////////////

The audition sure was hard. It was kinda scary seeing everyone go in and then come out. Some looked nervous, others proud, and then some looked like they were about to pass out. Silver wasn’t sure what kind of group they looked like after the rehearsal but Deuce ended up carrying Silver out of Pomefiore after he started swaying when they walked out.

Silver himself wasn’t sure if it was because he was tired or because of the audition but he woke up later to Grim and Ace talking while he was leaned against Deuce’s was patting a cold and wet napkin against Silver’s forehead and neck. “Did I fall asleep?”

Deuce let out a noticeably relieved sigh when Silver spoke. “Yeah, you did. We were actually debating whether you needed to go to the infirmary or not.” Silver sat up and leaned against his arms on the table. “It’s fine. I normally do that.”

Ace looked at Silver confused. “You normally pass out?” Silver shook his head no. “I fall asleep not pass out. It happened always since I was little. It’s why I nap with Leona. I don’ know when it’ll happen though, which is why Papa says that I have to be with someone I know when I’m around the school.”

Deuce didn’t seem to have anymore questions. He did hand Silver a chocolate chip cookie though which he took happily. Soon, three days later arrived. Ace had gone to get Silver from Sam’s after school like he had promised if there was any news about the auditions. Silver gave a quick bye to Sam and then headed off with Ace to the Pomefiore. Yuu, Grim, and Deuce were standing in the grass outside the Pomefiore house.

The sound of two more people coming through the mirror was heard and Silver turned to see Jamil and Kalim come through the mirror. Kalim waved to them when he spotted them as well and walked over. “Hey, guys!” Silver grinned and held up his hand to Kalim who high fived it. “What are you guys doin’ here?” Grim asked.

Silver guessed that the others hadn’t expected to see anyone else. “We passed the audition screening. Did you pass as well?” Ace gave a proud grin. “We sure did!” Kalim clapped happily for them. “So you performed well at audition! That’s great!” Grim lowered his head disappointedly.

“They totally left ME out, though! This really yanks my tail…” Kalim patted Grim’s head. “Cheer up, Grim. Want a cracker?” Grim backed away from the cracker. “Urgh, not this again! Somebody tell this guy that crackers aren’t the answer to everything.” Kalim offered a cracker to Silver who gratefully took it. “Thanks Kalim.” Silver ate away at the cracker as they all started walking towards the Pomefiore house.

“You there – the group of six with a cat. Halt!” Silver saw two Pomefior students approach them. One had dark purple hair and the other had light brown hair. Silver waved at them shyly trying to be friendly. “Are you talking to us?” Deuce asked, confused. “I see some of you passed the SDC ensemble audition” the boy with light brown hair spoke. Kalim gave an enthusiastic nod. “Yup! Vil asked to see us. Would you mind taking us to him?”

The purple haired Pomefiore student laughed. “Not so fast. Nobody simply waltzes into our dorm!” Everyone was confused. Silver looked at the boy with light brown hair confused. “But we need to see Vil?” The boy shook his head no.

“The gates of Pomefiore are open only to those who exhibit both beauty and strength!” Silver watched as he threw a glove to the ground. “The gauntlet is thrown. Pick it up!” Silver got into a defensive position hs fist balled ready to hit them if needed. “Wait, I’m confused. Why did he just throw a literal glove at us?” A battle then broke out.

The students started casting spells at the group. Silver went to hit them but was tumbled back by a spell. It didn’t hurt but simply felt like wind had somehow blown him over. He couldn’t see the students anymore; the others were all standing in front of him and battling against the students.

The Silver wasn’t sure how long the battle was but it couldn't have been longer than thirty minutes. The two attackers looked exhausted but uninjured. The boy with light brown hair looked up at the group. “Just remember: this is only the beginning. The road to true beauty is long and fraught with peril... Rgh…” The two students now laid on the ground defeated. Silver looked at the others confused. “Why did they attack us?”

No one seemed to have an answer as to why. “Let’s just get to the ballroom for now.” The group began to start walking again towards Pomefiore. As they entered through another battle waited for them inside. Another thirty minutes later and the opposing Pomefiore students were defeated. It was honestly dramatic how they acted after being defeated. “I'm proud to have fought alongside you to the bitter end. We fall as brothers on this battlefield! ...Grk!”

Ace groaned at their reactions. “Oh, come on! You don't get to act like tragic heroes when you're the ones who started it!” Deuce shook his head confused as much as everyone else. “I'm starting to get the impression that Pomefiore is full of guys who like to spout nonsense. Rook's just one example. Is that the nature of their souls?!” Jamil let out a tired sigh. “I think it's less about souls and more about relative values.”

Silver was getting tired of how odd the people at Night Raven were as well. It wasn’t long that they walked until another group of students appeared to start attacking again. “Let's make a break for the ballroom” Yuu told the others.

They seemed to agree because everyone started to dash off. Silver followed, keeping up with them. As he passed by the students though he gave a very hard punch to one of their legs not stopping for a moment cackling mischievously as he ran with the others.

Deuce was the one who spotted the ballroom door and quickly opened it and hurried inside the others following after. Silver immediately sat down once everyone was inside the ball room and the door was closed huffing exhaustedly. “Why is this happening to us?” Ace asked between pants trying to calm down. “Why, because you've become ensemble members, of course.” Silver looked up and saw the same sparkles from moments earlier and Vil was there standing in front of them.

“I see none of you have dropped out. You pass, for now.” Kalim looked at Vil confused. “Vil, what is going on here?” Vil crossed his arm. “What else? A simple warm-up exercise. You got a full-body workout, did you not? Now we can get rehearsals underway immediately.” Vil’s gaze looked at the others.

“Listen well: we are Night Raven College's selected representatives. We will be aiming for the top spot in the world, on the battlefield that is the Song & Dance Championship. I have no use for performers incapable of overcoming a little adversity. The battle for the figurative crown has already begun. As of this moment, there will be no more fun and games. I'll be whipping you all into presentable shape!”

Silver had hoped Vil would give Kalim a clear answer but instead it was just poetic and sounded like something Sebek would say. “I’m still confused.” There didn’t seem to be anything else that needed to be explained by Vil’s standards. At least Silver thought so since he didn’t receive an answer that would say otherwise. “My my, Roi du Poison. I see you're taking off at full tilt right out of the gate.

You're so bright and dazzling that everyone else is stunned into inaction. Heh heh heh.” Silver saw Rook and Epel both standing next to Vil. “Attention, ensemble members: first, allow me to congratulate you on passing. Bravo! Ace. Deuce. Kalim. Jamil. Epel. And finally, myself and Vil. The seven of us shall be a tribe from this day forth. I look forward to working with you all up through the SDC. Now go on, Monsieur Pommette, a word of introduction, if you would” Epel gave a shy reply as he looked at the others. “Hello. My name is Epel. It's a pleasure to meet you…”

Silver waved to Epel giving him a smile. “Hey, hold up! You left me, Silver, and Yuu outta that whole speech. Why'd you call us over when we already flunked out?” Grim asked, looking at the three angrily. “In my infinite generosity, I shall field that question!” Silver felt himself jump and grab onto Grim who also jumped. The headmage had appeared behind them with a wide smile on his face.

“Headmage! Again with the poppin' outta thin air? You're scarin' the daylights outta me!” Grim yelled glaring at Crowley. Crowley had an apologetic look on his face. “Oh, I beg your pardon. I did not especially mean to conceal my presence, for what it's worth. Ahem. Anyway, allow me to explain why you were summoned here with the ensemble members. Starting this weekend, we will have four weeks until the Song & Dance Championship kicks off. And I would be ever so appreciative if you could share Ramshackle Dorm as the site for their training camp!”

The word training camp seemed to catch everyone off guard. Yuu let out a soft and shocked chuckle. “You want them to stay at Ramshackle Dorm?!” Crowley gave an affirmative nod. “It's a team-building exercise. You come from different dorms, different class years, different birthplaces, different cultures… It is my hope that living together will help you foster a greater sense of camaraderie.”

Silver raised his hand wanting to ask a question. Crowley let out a chuckle before he called on Silver “It is fine young Silver you can say what you wish. You musn’t need to raise your hand to speak.”

Silver looked at Vil. “Why am I here? I don’t stay at Ramshackle.” Rook let out a small laugh and went over to pat Silver’s head. “Here let us talk to the left of the room while the others converse.” Rook led Silver a bit away from the group as they discussed with Vil what would be happening with the training camp. “Why you have an important role as well Monsieur Sleepyhead. You’ll be serving as the cheerleader for Night Raven when they perform.”

Silver couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. All he could think about was how Sebek cheered for Malleus one time when he participated in a race at Briar Valley. “That’s really goofy.” Rook let out a laugh as well.

“It may seem that way but it will be fun. Vil has already decided on an outfit for you that is Night Raven College themed. It’s actually quite simple too. A long sleeved sun shirt and matching shoes and shorts. You’ll simply be standing in the crowd and cheering us on at the end of our dance but your school enthusiasm will sure shine through when everyone sees you. I was the one who actually inspired Vil to the idea. He wasn’t too keen on it at first but knew it was a good plan so now you’re here.”

/////////////

When Silver heard he was going to be a cheerleader as Rook had said he hadn’t anticipated visiting Ramshackle during the day. “Why am I going with you?” Silver asked as he walked with Vil, Epel, and Rook.

“You’re there for emotional support. Rook called you a cheerleader but you're more of a school representative. You’ll help encourage everyone after their practice.” Silver hummed in understanding. He didn’t talk much the rest of the walk and when he saw Ramshackle dorm decided to run up to it. He was excited to enter the dorm. Entering was much different then walking around it.

Malleus had brought Silver with him on his nightly walks when Silver wasn’t able to sleep and it had always been nice to walk around and enjoy the scenery. The inside of Ramshackle was worse for wear though on the inside. Silver guessed that the inside sure did match the outside. It filled Silver with excitement that he would be helping out with things for the SDC even if he wasn’t dancing with them.

[amadwinter]

A different kind of WIP Wednesday

Not a fic this time, but after a wonderful post about making bad art from @unspuncreature and a little encouragement from @lilredghost (thank you 🧡), I wanted to share something else I have in progress: my drawing abilities.

I wouldn't necessarily say I'm good. In fact, sometimes my drawings are downright bad. But considering there have been times in the last year where I haven't even been able to hold a pencil due to health issues, I'm happy to be where I am and just keep improving little by little each time.

I've never shared any of these with anyone before so I'm quite nervous, but there's no time like the present.

Many photos from my sketchbooks ahead!

So, for starters, I've been drawing sporadically since I was about 11 (about 18 years). I've never seriously made a habit out of it, and I've never attempted any formal instruction or classes. One day, I'll post images from my sketchbooks from over the years, because yes, I have kept all of them for posterity's sake

Last year, 2023, I made a New Years Resolution to draw something every day.

I actually made a decent go of it and drew more than I have in years.

But then I suddenly had some health problems pop up that made my goal impossible. I struggled to hold a pencil and even write a sentence legibly. I won't go into details here, but after a few months and going through occupational therapy, I was able to write and draw again(My other symptoms, however, haven't been resolved).

I did some drawing here and there, but nothing consistent. And it felt like some of the progress I made earlier in the year had vanished. I was utterly demotivated, and could only see the bad in everything I drew.

In December, I finally decided: screw it. If I'm going to draw badly, I'll just draw badly. And its done wonders for my confidence.

But for every drawing I'm proud of, there are far more that all I can do is laugh at because of how terrible they are.

And each time I draw something I'm not happy with, I take it as an excuse to practice more, practice often, and practice everything.

I don't really have a system or a plan in place. I start out with a warmup of stick figures based on soccer, figure skating, or something similar, and then it's whatever I feel like. Sometimes it's figure sketches, sometimes it's working on hair, sometimes it's just whatever the hell I feel like.

But above all, I'm having fun doing it. Even when it doesn't turn out like I want to, even when it's not perfect, I enjoy just putting pencil to paper with zero expectations beyond doing my best and enjoying the process.

[barmadumet]

So, @underacalicosky and @wibzenadarksiderwithasoftheart tagged me in the WIP Tag Game, AND THANK YOU FOR THAT, but I don't have any new WIPs since the last time 🤷🏻‍♀️and you all know about all of those. . . BUT I have been working on option 3 from that poll quite a lot - I have about 75k words, but I am nowhere near ready to post a first chapter. But you know what? I think part of my slump right now is that I haven't shared any of my writing in almost 6 months since I finished Streets. So, though I am nervous to do this - because knowing me, I'll probably end up changing this or scrapping it - here is a small sample of that fic I've been working on:

Ferus awakes to the smell of brewing tea, and he’s not even sure how Obi-Wan has achieved such a feat when he doesn’t even have a kitchen, but the aroma is unmistakable. He glances at the parallel palette a few feet away – Anakin is still sound asleep, and the first sun is not yet peeking into the interior of the cave.

When Ferus stirs, he sees Obi-Wan perched on the plateau in the entryway of the cavern. He sits beside him and the Jedi Master slides him a cup.

“I had another ready,” Obi-Wan comments evenly, but cheerfully. “I thought you might be up soon. . . Your Master used to talk of how you’d wake with the suns.”

Ferus’ lips curl at the mention of his former, deceased Master, Siri Tachi. “She was like Anakin, and could sleep all day if you’d let her.”

Obi-Wan smiles softly. “And he needs extra rest these days, it seems.”

“He does. He gets worn out so quickly. . . It’s strange to think it’s Anakin – always so competitive, pushing himself to the limit. Needing to be the best. To win.”

“That need for victory,” Obi-Wan somberly tsks. “I do believe that’s where I lost him.” He sighs. “His fear of losing. . . It impacted him in more ways than one, but now that he’s lost so much, I don’t think it frightens him anymore.”

“Well, he hasn’t lost you – and it’s clear you’re what matters most to him.”

“You mean a great deal to him as well,” Obi-Wan reminds intently.

Ferus marginally shifts the subject, “Obi-Wan? You don’t have to answer this, but. . . I saw the two of you last night, the way you. . . I know I only implied it before, but did the two of you have a relationship?”

“Not a romantic one, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“That is what I’m getting at – the way you held him, and the way he was curled up against you – I can’t say it’s a position I’ve ever been in with my Master, but I’ve surely slept beside my husband in the same manner.”

“I never touched him,” Obi-Wan defends sharply. “Especially not when he was seventeen. But when he got older, when the war started. . . Well, we became less like Master and apprentice and more like. . . something else entirely. But nothing ever came of it. There was tension there, and to be honest, I think it caused problems between us. This chirpy Anakin is one I’ve not seen in a long time, and I’ve missed him terribly. I honestly don’t know what possessed us to curl up together last night, because it’s not something he’d remember us doing; it’s not something we did until he was older. We’d seek comfort during the war, but it was never really romantic so much as just comfortable – natural. . . and I suppose that’s why we ended up that way: it just felt natural. I’m sorry. I’m rambling, and I know that’s not much of an explanation, but when it comes to Anakin. . . in light of this situation. . . I’ve just never before been so confused and so sure of myself all at once.”

Ferus laughs ironically. “That’s exactly what I was trying to explain to you about taking him under my wing. It felt both wrong and right. I’m still conflicted at times. . . and I. . . I can’t stay, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan’s head turns sharp. “You can’t go,” he protests.

“I can’t stay,” Ferus reiterates. “I need to get back to the base – check on things there. Try to get back home and make sure Roan’s family is safe.”

“But you don’t intend to return.”

“I. . .”

“Anakin will be crushed. Please don’t do this. Not right now. Let him get settled.”

“He doesn’t need me, Obi-Wan; he has you.”

“Do you not hear how he refers to the two of you as one unit? Do you not see the way he lights up when you enter the room? Do you not see how he hangs on your every word? ‘Well, Ferus says. . . Ferus thinks. . . Ferus wants. . .’ ”

“That’s just because we’ve spent so much time together. I’m all he’s had for the last few weeks. He’ll be fine. I know you’ll take care of him.”

“You aren’t so sure. I can sense it – your worry for him, but you’re running away because it scares you –because of what he used to be, and I’m. . . I’m scared, too, and maybe I need you just as much as he does right now. You’re the only one that— Don’t go. I want you to stay.”

Obi-Wan and Ferus go quiet when they sense Anakin awake and approaching.

“Good morning, dear one,” Obi-Wan beams when a sleepy looking Anakin appears. His eyes are tired. His face is blank. His arms are folded, buried in his Master’s robe, head covered to hide his scarred face.

Anakin’s gaze is on the horizon, where the second sun is just starting to rise, the shadows of the cave now absorbing soft morning light. Both men have turned to watch him. Now, he watches them back and smirks. He wedges himself between the pair, then puts his head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

Ferus is just about to stand when an arm comes around his waist and pulls him closer. A cybernetic hand snakes up his back and rubs it gently. Ferus slowly turns to look at Anakin just as he lifts his head from Obi-Wan’s shoulder, and Ferus finds he can’t look away from the intense and engaging stare.

Anakin lets his forehead tenderly bump against Ferus.’ When he feels Obi-Wan’s arm stretch around him, he boldly decides to now use Ferus as his personal pillow instead, supremely content with having contact from each side.

Obi-Wan’s knuckles brush back and forth against Ferus’ ribs, an indirect way to communicate, a way to say he understands. He knows Ferus is wrestling with the very same qualm he himself had struggled with for many years: craving Anakin’s touch, while simultaneously fighting a guilt-ridden urge to push it away. He sees Ferus’ dark eyes peer at him from over the hood of the robe Anakin is still snuggled in – tethering between satisfaction and indecision.

Ferus is rigid, neck straight and chin high. But at Obi-Wan’s faint, but soothing smile, and with Anakin burrowing further into his side, he can’t help but rest his cheek to the top of Anakin’s head, shamefully giving in to the warmth and solace they both provide.   

The three remain huddled together as they watch the sky change colors in a comfortable silence.

*

*

*

*

Thoughts?? Any interests? I feel like this will be a fic about 4 people will read lol, but I've been wanting to write it for almost 2 years now. I feel rusty! Idk if I can pull it off, but I'm going to try.

Thanks again for the tags, friends! It looks like all of your WIPs have been inquired about (or I already have knowledge of them! 🤩) These all look DELISH!!!

[modgryphonrambles]

I love TAOCC so much!

It is 5-6 in the morning, and I'm feeling emotional and affectionate. So I'm gonna ramble about how much I appreciate people. Apologies if you don't want to be tagged in this or if I'm not making any sense because I'm sleepy.

@silhouette-anon Soup, thank you so much for running the Gangle blog, if it wasn't for you, I would never have found this silly little RP community. I was so scared to interact for so long, I lurked and only sent a couple of unsigned anon asks, but the way you interacted with your regular anons gave me the confidence to also try and become a regular. You were just so kind to everyone, and it was wonderful to see. Love your art, love your RP, love how you make me smile in one moment and then make me cry in the next.

@sh4tt3rg1rl Basil, Soup may have been how I found TAOCC, but you are the reason I wanted to get involved with actually RPing in it. I don't remember how I stumbled on Mix's blog, but he was the first non-canon character in the group that I followed. I just loved his story, his design, the way you RPed, everything. Again I was too scared to actually approach you, instead I watched for a few weeks without making a single RP post. And even when I did start RPing, I was still a little intimidated by how amazing your writing was, so even though I still followed your blogs, it took me way too long to finally ask if I could interact with one of your characters. And of course your art blows me away all the time!

@the-moth-from-elsewhere Elsie, you were the first person in TAOCC I actually RPed with, though I never intended that. But I was so intrigued by Aoki's interaction with Mix, he seemed like such an interesting character, and I was blown away with how you RPed him. I wanted to follow that OC, but I didn't know what his blog was. I just knew yours. When I asked you if you had a list of OC blogs, you not only gave them to me, but pointed me in the direction of Dusk as a nice OC for me to introduce Grif to. In a rare burst of confidence, I sent an actual RP ask. I haven't looked back since. Your art style is so adorable, and you kinda scare me with how many characters you have, but I'm impressed by all the thought you put into TAOCC and I could listen/read your rambles for hours!

@shot-of-hopes-and-dreams Hope, I've already told you before how much I appreciate you for being the first person to send a character ask to Grif completely out of the blue. But I don't think I ever told you that you were also the first person I DMed to ask about joining a plot. DMs always scare me, I think because of how private they are, and it took me a good few days to work up the courage to send the message, but I'm so glad I did! Every time I get a message, or ask, or @ from you, I get excited, and sometimes a little nervous, you do love being evil after all! You surprise me a lot, keep me on my toes and really make me think when we RP together, and it's a ton of fun! I do love your sketchy art style too, and in my opinion it doesn't get nearly enough attention.

Star, Feiar, and everyone else that I've talked to outside of RPing (including the people I singled out above), thank you for all being so sweet and kind and welcoming. I really do struggle with social stuff especially voice calls, I always feel a little awkward by how I'm mostly non-verbal, and I often avoid calls because of it, but just you guys being so understanding has really helped me get over that fear!

And for everyone in TAOCC whether I've talked to you before or not, thank you for being such awesome creative people, you've given me so much joy over these past few months, I am so glad I found this community! Whether it's the writing, the art, the silly little memes, all of it makes me so happy (or breaks my heart in a good way when you decide to be angsty). All of you, never change, keep being such wonderful, amazing people!

[mer-acle]

I wrote a paragraph!! Wow!! Unseen from Eve. Who knew she wrote. She hasnt touched any words in... oh fuck it has been two months? Damn

(Anyway yeah there is this scene I wanted to write for Alisha but I haven't actually written in a while so I didn’t know where or how to start and then I was nervous about what I was gonna write too bc its the first actual scene I am writing for Alisha ever so its a big step for me idk. Like I have to think of what kinda writing style I wanna use, how I'll arrange the events ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Like this not the prologue or whatever but it still makes me nervous af so I've been pushing it for a bit. As you can see what I have literally been doing for 10 hours. Wtf. But I finally got started and made some actual decisions. Yay!!!! I'll actually write something sometime tomorrow)

Me cheering for you :D

(starting stuff can be so difficult. If it helps, for my first fanfic (which, I haven't stopped writing since starting that one but it was my first English work and yeah kinda comparable ig) I started some random place and went from there and the first chapter got rewritten completely near the end bc I had found my style by then and knew the character's voice better, so really, try not to put too much pressure on that first scene right away, you can always come back to it later (easier said then done I know) (also I act like I'm an accomplished writer like my novel isn't stuck at 5 chapters bc I stubbornly refuse to write it out of order lol. Fanfic posted by chapter illness strikes hard.))

[limeinaltime]

Quick Update

Hello. It's me.

So yeah, I, have been going through a weird rut where I draw stuff but don't want to post it, and a lot of fandom-related things (especially for Murder Drones, my god this fandom) have made me hesitant to post the refs and drawings I have done. I also have no had the energy to make a lot of full pieces despite wanting to, and I've mostly been doing sketches alongside working on TAOME's revision as well as the first chapter of Act 6.

Luckily I do want to post more so I'll try to eventually, but for now, TAOME's revisions are coming along nicely. Dialogue has been refined and added, characterization and interactions are still being refined and fleshed out, and I've been picking at all the little typos and errors I've been finding. I do want to try and finish before I take a trip later this month, but if not, at the very latest I do want to finish before the next 4/13, which will mark the second anniversary of this fic being made public! It might probably be that since I want to make this fic as high-quality as possible, but that brings me to the other reason why I've mostly just been reblogging and posting the occasional babble or ask.

I haven't been having fun with my art and writing.

Everything I've been making feels like a pressure I put on myself to get better, and I do want to deal with that before I start being more active on social media. With the influx of AI, studio drama and just everything happening in the world, I have felt both unhappy and unable to really create much of anything without feeling this pit, and being friends with or at least looking up to so many amazing artists, I think that daunting feeling of a skill gap has finally really sunk in. I don't want my work to be just rewarding. I want it to be fun.

So yeah, I will try to post some refs for the characters I have managed to work on as well as some sketches, and as for the fic, well

I'm really excited to work on Act 6. It's partially what I've been building up to for the past almost-two years, and it is a very big part of the plot. Like, one of the major plot sequences is this entire act. This does admittedly make me nervous, but then again, maybe it shouldn't. This is, at its core, an OC/Canon fic. I am supposed to be having fun with it. I'm allowed to hype it up. This is also the passion project that I have put my heart and soul into for most of my time in college. I don't want it to flop, and yet in a way, I feel like that want has sucked the fun out of making it.

I don't know what I'm going to be doing going forward, and the future isn't a given. The revisions will be posted with the start of Act 6 at some point, I can promise you that, and while I don't have any big pieces to post, I will definitely try to post more refs and the sketches I've done.

Btw I also have a Toyhouse that I've finally started utilizing so if you want to see some of the art and refs I've done, you can head over there too.

That's pretty much it. Remember to do your daily clicks, be healthy, support the oppressed and tell the oppressors to shove it up their asses, and have a good day :)