#I have wanted a cat for the LONGEST time and I haven't even been able to meet any in the village cuz

[palettepainter]

Oh yeah my mother, the women who is allergic to cats, yeah SUUURE she can befriend the shy stray cat at the warehouse but when I - THE GIRL WHO WANTS TO BEFRIEND CATS - encounters a stray in the wilderness I'M ALWAYS WALKING ONE OF THE DOGS

WHEN WILL THE CAT DISTRUBUTION SYSTEM WORK IN MY FAVOUR?!

[sketchstudios07]

I haven't posted art in some time, but here, have some of my D&D ocs interacting with the dungeon meshi party, because it's fun! I drew them with the ones i feel like they're the most similar to either physically or personality-wise. I doubt many people will see, but i'd love to see more people doing this. Here we go!! :}

Marcille and Anne (she/her). She's an elf cleric and also my first character ever! So there isn't much to say about her. I feel like she's just this calm presence, Marcille could have some of that comfort every now and then. They'd definetly bond over hair care and magic, despite working in different fields. In a way, I feel like Marcille would find Anne similar to Falin, or like an older and wiser version of her. Anne could also give some advice on the whole "being scared of death thing", having a short-lived partner and all.

Chilchuck and Heron (he/him), tiny dads! Heron is (obviously) a halfling, but for his class he's actually a homebrew pirate! I think they have plenty of stuff in common to talk about, both of them are often made fun of by their parties for their size, which is fun. They're also both dads, only Chilchuck has 3 girls (4 if you count Izutsumi) and Heron has 4 boys, maybe they'd argue over what's better, idk. Chilchuck is grumpier, but i feel like both have that "Oh my god what are you doing!? Are you an idiot?" attitude when the party does their shenanigans. These two would be good friends, maybe Chil is a bit envious of Heron's stable family though

Laios and Deliz (he/him). Deliz is the character i've been playing the longest, he's a kalashtar sorcerer (with some druid levels). I think it's not hard to tell that they'd bond over hyperfixations. I doubt Laios would be able to answer Deliz's questions, but there's plenty of cool monster stuff to talk about! I wonder what Laios would think about all the weird creatures that possess and infect people in this other world. These two would be great friends, no judgement about "weird" behaviors, just vibes. I also feel like Laios would be super interested in what a "kalashtar" even is, or how powerful Deliz is compared to most adventurers he knows, despite him being so young (21).

Izutsumi and Spark (she/her). The cat girls! Spark is a tabaxi sorcerer that is also a literal child, so I feel like Izustumi would be done with her shit really fast lmao. Kind of like, when a child wants to impress a teenager, but they keep annoying them? Exactly that. Doesn't help that Spark is pretty energetic too. At one point or another though, they'd grow on each other. Izutsumi would never admit it though

Senshi and Lilium (she/they). Not much in common between these two, Lilium is a tiefling druid and Senshi is like, a fighter(?) dwarf, buut they'd get along really well. I feel like senshi would be the calm and nurturing figure this anxious little lesbian needs. She's been through a lot and needs a place to rest every now and then, and maybe drinking a cup of tea with some warm food is the right choice after some adventuring, right? (Also can you tell i didn't wanna draw Senshi's helmet? ITS SO HARD TO DO SIDEWAYS AND I DIDNT FIND ANY REFERENCES)

And a little bonus:

(Azzazel (they/any) is my friends character, they'd spark a whole other convo w/ Laios tbh)

[aachria]

Heyyyyyy babesssssssss I haven't seen you talking, you okay? Please be okay pooks, i'm actually concerned because usually when i visit your tumblr theres always a post and its been like, three days??? I hope you're doing good wherever you are! If not then thats bad, but we all have bad days and it'll come to pass soon even if its gonna be long long time. Pookie you better be okay i'm gonna cry ong- Grab your cat and cuddle babs<3 Point is, i'm checking in on you and i hope you're doing fine dandy😃 Hoping to see your amazing ahh self again xoxo

Lmao y’all are so damn paranoid something is gonna happen to me and it’s very sweet, but also gang sometimes I just don’t wanna be on Tumblr and answering asks isn’t #1 on my priorities list.

I’ve been going fucking BEAST MODE this week and written like three and a half whole chapters already, so yay me! But also I am now writing sad things, so poor me. But I also wrote a very sweet thing, so yay me again!

I also chopped all my hair off yesterday! I’m not in love with it yet, but it’s growing on me. I had been letting my hair grow out, it was the longest it’s been in actual years at the longest part, so now I’m missing like 4 inches off my underside and trying not to mourn not being able to braid it anymore. It was such a bitch to shower with and I know it was for the best, but I don’t think you ever kill the little girl who lived in your heart and wanted hair like a Disney princess you could put in elaborate styles, even when you stop being a girl yourself.

It’s like 3 and I’m real tired so I’m going to bed, but y’all can all rest assured I’m not dead or dying. Like really, if another person pleads for me not to die I’m gonna start suspecting you fucks know something I don’t. Gn babes, and stop worrying about lil’ ol’ me.

[merlumina]

hi there, tumblr

So after quitting all other social media (twitter, instagram, facebook), I found myself 1) pretty lonely tbh and 2) at a loss for how to keep myself creatively motivated and inspired with nowhere to share my work. I'd heard from several people that tumblr is way more chill these days, and while I hesitated at first, I finally decided to give it a try. After a few weeks of waiting from tech support to regain access to my account (pro tip: don't sign up for anything important with your college email address), I regained access yesterday and spent some time doing some tidying up (i. e. deleting most of my old posts and likes).

So...hi! Feels weird to be back. Life has changed so much in the past seven years. It was interesting going back through old posts to relive those times. Since I was last here, this is what I've been up to:

hollowforest and I got married in 2020. While he was unfortunately not able to propose to me at MAGFest after a particularly victorious round of Gundam Xtreme VS, which would have been rad, we settled for eloping at county jail, which is also a cool story.

Ringo, my cat, is still with us! But now we also have a dog, Haru (named after Persona 5 Haru). Yeah I like dogs now. I like pitt bulls now. 2012 me would never.

After years of self-doubt and self-loathing about my life choices, I actually became what I wanted to be when I grew up - a software developer! In late 2020 I took the plunge to do a coding bootcamp and got really lucky being hired into an apprenticeship program before I'd even graduated. Now I'm making those big coding $$$ working from home, literally living the dream and still kind of in awe.

I joined the Diagnosed with ADHD in My 30s club! (Also, I'm in my 30s now)

We bought a house in October, 2022! I did not think it would be possible for the longest time, but due to the big job upgrade we were finally able to afford it.

I've played a lot of video games, but not beaten that many.

I picked up game dev as a hobby and have made a few small games during game jams.

My mental health is overall a lot better now! Part of that is from therapy, part of that is from self reflection, part of that is maybe just growing up. See also: quitting aforementioned social medias.

Improved mental health aside, my hangups about my artistic abilities and creative capacity still haven't improved any in the past 10 years. It's one of my biggest personal insecurities, but also one of the reasons I'm trying Tumblr again! I wanted somewhere to post my practice routine to keep myself accountable, as well as a place to get inspiration from other artists.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to keep this blog focused on art and personal things that make me happy. After I left Tumblr in 2016 I started working on myself and trying to focus on bringing more empathy into my interactions with others. Whether or not I've been successful at that is another matter, but in general it has helped me be a happier person. I am not interested in participating in Discourse. I don't think you can judge the "goodness" of a human based on a handful of things they've said/done online, and I won't be made to cast judgment on anyone. I think we should spend less time tearing down people in our own communities and more time asking why it's so easy for the people in power to trick us into fighting each other. In general, the overall vibe that everyone's social media account is a personal soapbox where they can make declarations about what is Right and what people Should be doing makes me uncomfortable. So I'm going to try not to do any more of that here. I do like still having those discussions sometimes, but I prefer a more personal venue, where I feel like I'm talking with people rather than at them.

Let's be cool to each other! -Liz / merlumina

[orchidyoonkook]

My favorite fic of yours: Under The Willow Tree, which I know you know, but I never get tired of talking about it. Every word of this fic is written on my heart. 💘

5. A fic of yours I haven't read but want to: I had just barely started TWWWBAATTA just before heading into my stormy period where I didn't do hardly any reading or writing. It was lovely and your JK is such a cutie and a knock-out, and I'm excited to continue it soon!

8. What I most like about your writing: Firstly, your emphasis on nature and your use of it and its imagery to contribute to the feeling and setting of your plots and scenes. The way that you communicate beauty is really romantic and poetic and I DIG IT. Also, I feel like you are very confident in your characters and who they are - this comes across strongly in your writing and is something I greatly envy.

11. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE WRITE MORE SMUT IN THE FUTURE. Now that The Devil Wears Valentino is out there, the cat is out of the bag - you have an incredible gift for filth, my friend.

12. A fic of yours that I've reread: There are legit chunks of UTWT that I could recite by heart on command.

LOVE YOU BB 🥰🥰🥰

VIOLET HOLY SHIT???!!!??? Literally what did I ever do to deserve such amazing humans around me like??? What god am I in the favour of cuz I need to set up an alter for them rq:

Onto! (this is literally so long im so sorry)

DUDE. I'm on the ground 50 yards away from where i just was cuz thats how hard you've blown me away rn.

1. My favorite fic of yours: Under The Willow Tree, which I know you know, but I never get tired of talking about it. Every word of this fic is written on my heart. 💘

I love how much you love them. And I'm so very glad to have been able to have made something so special to you. It's truly my honour.

5. A fic of yours I haven't read but want to: I had just barely started TWWWBAATTA just before heading into my stormy period where I didn't do hardly any reading or writing. It was lovely and your JK is such a cutie and a knock-out, and I'm excited to continue it soon!

A stormy period??? Did I know about this and completely by accident flake on you??? I'm so sorry if I did. I'm always here I hope you know what. (And please pardon my god awful memory. Short term memory loss sucks so much.)

And never any pressure to read, but when and if you do I hope you enjoy!!! TWWWBAATTA is my brain baby. My first fic and by far the longest thing I've ever written. I love them so much and I hope you will to, but I also understand how daunting getting into a big series is, so literally no pressure at all. You've already been kind enough to me to last a life time <<33

8. What I most like about your writing: Firstly, your emphasis on nature and your use of it and its imagery to contribute to the feeling and setting of your plots and scenes. The way that you communicate beauty is really romantic and poetic and I DIG IT. Also, I feel like you are very confident in your characters and who they are - this comes across strongly in your writing and is something I greatly envy.

WHY IS IT MAKE YOON CRY NIGHT???!!!!!! Im sobbing. I'm facedown in my pillow. A walking waterfall of tears. I dont even know what or where the hell to begin with this. So i'll do what i do best and let my brain vomit on my creative process a lil bit:

i dont even realise i do this until after, the emphasis on nature and imagery and setting plots and scenes. But for me to understand a story, i need a place where i can see the characters, i need to know their place in that setting, and i need a bit of background that sets everything.

-> For UTWT, that was the solace of the tree in the shitty hometown for reader, a reader who's desperate to leave, why they want to leave, and then i give them something. in this case yoongi.

-> for TDWV that was the bar. Why a bar? it's where creatures of the night can go to destress becuase even they aren't always "on." and then why is reader there as a mortal, oh shes a bartender, but that gives her special priveledges with the other species becuase now they cant do anything to her, so shes safe. except for the one thing that disrupts her night. the one thing that goes bump in the night for her. and so how do i take that a step further? I make him obscenely powerful, so powerful that the people who kill her kind for fun are scared of him. And then to seal the deal? I make the big scary man care for the one thing he's supposed to see as less than dirt. I make her special. And you learn this all early on in the story. It cements the who what where when why and you learn the how as you go.

and then when im describing a setting and using things to cement the reality of my stories i go into almost a trance and literally insert myself into it to pick out the details. Visualization is something i've always had "a gift" for. It why i usually dont draw with references, and can look at something crafty and just "know" how to make it. So i guess thats how i do that.

-> like in UTWT. I am the tree and the reader and yoongi. I'm the wind around them and the pond watching them learn to love one another. I'm the motorcycle and the books and the leather jacket shielding them from the rain. I have to be everything to be able to write it the way i see it.

-> and in TDWV i was the bar and the music notes and the black tiled floors. I was yoongi and the reader and the banshees on the balcony and the other creatures. I put myself into everything and think about what they see. what they hear. what do they look like. How do they feel. whats their background, and i think that's why they feel so confident to you. I just - know - everything about them. i need to. to fake it till i make it. to baffle with my bullshit.

as for romance and poetic-ness(?). I've said this before, but it makes me laugh in a good way cuz if you know me irl you know i am the least poetic person alive and i dont do romance. Like i dont even let my partner get me treats bigger than a chocolate bar. (I am learning to be better tho.) So the fact that my writing is two things I am very much not in my waking life, it just goes to show how many sides a person has.

11. (*Something I wish/hope you write) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE WRITE MORE SMUT IN THE FUTURE. Now that The Devil Wears Valentino is out there, the cat is out of the bag - you have an incredible gift for filth, my friend.

dude i was so so scared for the smut. i told you in dms but like i was sweating BUCKETSSSSS. I followed the same process i just described, but then i also had to go over the scene with a completely unsexual, professional and almost sterile eye. I had to think about what would work here. what would work there, should i switch out this word. I should come up with a more creative way to say that, because everyone writes it that way (not that theres anything wrong with that, it's just personal choice.)

and so for example, I'll go with something you pointed out recently from TDWV:

*NSFW INCOMING*

That filthy line when instead of saying he cums, you wrote "as he covers your inner walls in the most sickeningly sweet shade of white." Like, how DARE you?? No one talk to me. I'M NOT OKAY

I've seen this exact thing written as "he paint your walls white" and thats fine. that gets the point across, but i wanted this scene to hit different, i wanted it to show how engrossed he is and she is in this. And so i switched up my words to create a more sensually graphic imagine in the readers head.

and your reaction is all the proof i needed to know it worked the way i wanted it too. And these arent things i think of on the fly in my rough draft. These are things I sit with and brainstorm and tweak to make just right so i get the mental image i want.

*END NSFW PART*

12. A fic of yours that I've reread: There are legit chunks of UTWT that I could recite by heart on command.

Maybe one day i'll test you on this. (jokes) BRO THATS SO FLATTERING LIKE WHAT???!?!!!?!?! I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO COMPREHEND THAT.

LOVE YOU BB 🥰🥰🥰

I WILL BET MY ASS AND YOURS I LOVE YOU MORE <<<<<333333333333

[paleflower]

If you are a parent you probably heard about the 3 period lesson and even if you haven't heard of it you are most likely using it. It can be used to teach new words in 3 steps.

1. Naming - "This is a ball." (You point to the ball)

2. Recognizing - "Where is the ball?" (Your child points to the ball)

3. Remembering - "What is this?" "A ball." (Your child answers/names the thing)

So for the longest time now we have been at step 1 "Naming things". This basically started as soon as he opened his eyes. I would show him things and provide a name for that thing. I tried to show him lots and lots of things and name them over and over again. I felt like a broken record player. But only in the last few months I felt that he was actually listening. Because now he looked at these objects as I named them and he pointed at things he wanted me to name. It was like a switch in his brain flipped. As if he was like "Ok now that I learned crawling and walking, let's do something else." I swear he was NOT interested in books at all just a short while ago. I would read to him from time to time, but I was never sure if he listened and he would quickly loose interest. He never came to me with a book or indicated that he wants to read. But now he comes with this and this and this book to me and wants to look at it with me. Everyday, all the freaking time.

So we finally moved on to step 2. I can ask him "where is the car?" now and he will promptly and proudly answer "there!" pointing at it with his little fingers. I quickly realized that he mostly knows the names of vehicles like "motorbike, taxi, police car, etc" and some animals (cats... actually mostly cats). He is clearly showing me what kind of things he is actually into and which not. A while ago I was frustrated because I wanted to start the second step way sooner, but I guess I started it too soon. It didn't work. I would ask him "where is the cat? can you point to it?" and he would not react. I tried this when he just learned how to point. Clearly I was over ambitious. After a few failed attempts I stopped asking him. I didn't want to see him fail. I was afraid that either him or me would get frustrated over this. I don't even know why I started to ask him again. I had no expectation of him being able to show me the object, but when I asked him "where is the motorbike?" (one of his favorite things to point to) and he looked so proud as he knew exactly where it was, I felt a switch flipped in my head as well. He knows this. Of course he knows this. I have named that thing for him like 1000000x times. Of course he knows! So I continued with "Where is the bus? Where is the police car?" and so on. And he knew almost all of them!

I know this phase will probably last for a long time (before we move on), but I am just so glad that he made that big step forward in learning our language. Well done little Mister!

[centuriantalevevo]

EYO BOIS ITS HORNY HOURS CUZ I DON'T POST THAT SHIT NEARLY ENOUGH LMAO- I AM INDOCTRINATING ALL OF YOU INTO DARLING PET

NSFW

Including very heavy size kink, size difference, breeding, you name it we got it- unless it's weird- breeding? bOOM- feral? douBLE BOOM! Primal? HERE- size kink? Size difference? baM BAM! Exhibitionism? FUCK IT SEMI PUBLIC! Instinctual shit? WHY NOT??? YOU WANNA BE BRED BY ALL 4 OF THEM? BITCH AIGHT POLYAMORY LETS GO- we have knots, we have breeding kink, we have heights, we have jealousy, hell I can make you or the character a fucking yandere- we got cockwarming

Let's go bois

Sitting on Ray's cock while he just thinks of ideas for a novel... or actually writing one- (that sounds like Ike lmao- Ike but a snake, gg)

Cockwarming 11/10

Which way you're facing is up to you- I'd probably prefer facing forward however facing him and rest head on chest 👌👌👌👌

He's prolly the most patient actually-

But eventually perhaps he mAY give in and fuck you on the desk.

I literally have imagined- its breeding season for all of them- still with me? Perfection. It's breeding season for all of them- you casually walking through the hall and first getting yoinked into Ian's room, him proceeding to fuck your brains out- he tries to get you to stay but "I have to feed my cat dude..."

Luke is next, he yoinks you in- he's a bunny... this has GOTTA be good-

And it is lmao-

Breed like rabbits I guess

Same thing, he clings on for you to stay but once again you haven't even made it to the kitchen to feed your damn cat-

Sean grabs you, same thing all over again- OH! Do note Sean has you on doggy style, Ian... he just said random bullshit go lmao- he probably did a mix of doggy style, mating press, OH he may have had you in missionary idfk- Luke absolutely had you in... idfk what the position is called however its the position where the person on bottom is on their side with one leg up, usually over the others shoulder. I don't care to remember names of it.

He gets you to stay the longest only because he's especially stronger however you still weasel your way out- how dare you. Rude ass.

You make it to the kitchen HOWEVER COMMA you have a feeling someone is trailing you.... watching you. Who is the only person you hadn't seen yet? Hm....

You get to feed your cat finally and are getting some like... cereal... and you swear you can feel someone behind you without them even touching you.

"Ray I swear to god if it's you I WILL find a way to throw you." Silence

Then you turn around and despite expecting it, he still makes you jump. Right behind you with a small, maybe slightly dazed?? Smile. Every time.

"God dammit Ray" "Sorry, it's just funny to scare you like that. You've finally been able to identify it's me without even hearing me." "That's exactly HOW I know it's you. The others have some sort of audio que, you don't. No wonder you're a snake. They're quiet as hell- can you please make a hissing sound or something?"

Ray pretends to think and just shakes his head "that takes the fun away~"

Of course-

Yes he is canonically quiet as hell for absolutely no reason- he scares the MC everytime because of that lmao

Its great tho

Then he cages you between the counter

"Ray, not you too... I hoped you wouldn't..." "Well actually it took longer to kick in than everyone else." "With great wisdom comes great control I guess-"

I'm a meme lord leave me the fuck alone I will word shit the way a wish if you don't like IT DUXKING LEAVE- DICJW

ANYWAYS!

Of course him being the oldest out if everyone of course he's definitely got his kinks sorted

"We're in the kitchen!?" "Your point?" 🗿

He bends you over the kitchen counter and fucks you like it's the end of the world- how were you walking even after the first 3?? No clue, it was miraculous. You must feed the cat, obviously.

Oh but he fills you so well like everyone else.

He carries you back to his room and now you're stuck there because you're absolutely not escaping this mans. If he wants you there yOU STAY THERE- even if he's in the most vulnerable of states, when he's going through ecsidysis (I can't spell lmao) he will keep you in his room at all costs.

Okay bUT- Ray will also absolutely fuck you later too. Does he have a favorite position? No because he cannot choose, they're all good.

Okay that's a lie he does quiet like the mating press and doggy style- no I'm not projecting zIP!

He will hold you by your throat, with your back against him, and fuck into you as much as he likes. But it feels good so you don't complain lmao-

Who is into what?

Ian is likely into semi public stuff, hell he'll get brave enough to just fuck you in the like... make over room he stays in in-between shoots because he's a fucking model.

Sean? No, he prefers to keep it private. It typically stays in the bedroom HOWEVER, breeding season is the exception, at that point he'll fuck you anywhere as long as it's in the house.

Luke... He'd fuck you in the car bro. Or anywhere in the house... he may prefer his room cuz of the bed tho. Pampered boi needs to stay pampered okay? Soft for days.

Ray is the party bro- I'm cONVINCED. He's stated he's lived longer than everyone else in the group. Hell it was either Luke or Ian who called him grandpa lmao- his profile says "33(??)", so he's definitely had more life experience. That being said he's definitely into a lot more risky stuff. He's lived long enough, he was successful as Darcy, I don't think he gives a shit at this point- he'll fuck you in broad daylight bro. And no one will realize it. You could be in a damn restaurant sitting with his cock in you and no one would be the wiser. He's so calm. Also if you're like me and not stimulated as easily, that's finessed instantly.

At the movies? He'll absolutely touch you during that. I promise he'll get away with even having you sit on his cock bro.

Don't get me started on if we make him a Yandere, y'all already know he CAN AND WILL WIN THAT- so would Sean but because of totally different reasons.

Bro you know the museum he takes us to?? For the Darcy showing or whatever? He will absolutely fuck you there, TEST HIM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS I PROMISE-

At a park.

You name it, he can do it and will get away with it.

Bro he will have you cockwarm him on the couch, THE OTHER BOYS AROUND and it'd absolutely nothing to him. To be honest you probably wouldn't even need a blanket to cover lmao- yes the boys probably do know. Does he care? No. Should you care? Probably not.

Ray and Ian fantasies my beloved-

Oh you wanna talk Yandere for a minute?

Aight.

Luke, he's absolutely the manipulative psychopath. He will use his charm, his cuteness, his bunny like behavior and reel you in. Make you feel unafraid because he's JUST SO CUTE! HE'S AN IDOL!! He'll stalk you for a while and still seeming innocent... And then boom... suddenly you're locked in his room with no way out. You can't leave. You're not allowed to! Good luck escaping because his smell and hearing may not be as phenomenal as a cat or dogs.... he's small and can be ANYWHERE watching you waiting for the perfect second to strike. He can easily escape police if you send them after him because he's a bunny!

Ian... he sees you one day and decides he wants YOU. YOU ONLY. And if anyone looks at you they are GONE. And you can only look at him- he is a model after all. Why would you wanna look at someone else?? He will take you everywhere and flaunt you because you are his. But if anyone looks at you in a way he doesn't like... oh bitch- he can find their ass if he wanted to. Also good luck escaping, he's a Savanah cat, he has good hearing and sense of smell.

Sean will take you with strength alone, he doesn't need manipulation tactics fuck that. Just pick you up and walk home lmao- LIKE YOU SEE THAT GUY HE'S FUCKING RIPPED???? He meets you at his coffee shop... and for some reason he thinks you're the one, you're perfect in every way. They always say you don't choose the animal, the animal chooses you. That's also true even if the animal is in human form. And unfortunately he has chosen you. You won't be escaping his grip. And if you escape the house somehow, you're gonna end up back where you started anyways because he's a dog..... he CAN AND WILL TRACK YOUR ASS DOWN.

Ray... oh this is my favorite. He sees you... and decides you belong to him. He goes a different route. He befriends you in the library one day, and coincidentally he bumps into you at the Darcy museum thing... oh! I didn't know you liked this author! You let your guard down, he seems nice, he's relaxed, he always has a dreamy dazed type of look in his eyes, like he's not fully in reality but rather in his own world making stories while simultaneously being present. He's very charming and handsome. I mean when you think of a stalker you usually think of an ugly dude right??

Then he starts to toy with you- he likes to play with his prey, alright? He toys with you. He scares you without knowing it's him so you automatically go to him when you're afraid or feel as though you're being watched. He drives you into Stockholm syndrome subtly without even having kidnapped you. He leaves you gifts and eventually he outright hands the gifts to you. This isn't even the captured phase yet, either...

If you dare to realize what is happening, that's when he speeds up the process and swoops in and takes you forcefully- however he PREFERS to lure you in. He's a patient man, he could wait 2 years as long as it means a smooth capture and he has ensured you already rely on him. You're struggling with bills? Groceries? Oh, it's alright! I have plenty to spare, I'd be happy to pay them for you! He will be your sugar daddy bro you don't gotta ask. This dude is a successful author- once he lures you in, he gives you a sedative. Giving him time to lock the doors and keep you in his room.

Once in capture, you're stuck there. If you try and leave? That's impossible. He knows where EVERYONE is. He knows where you are especially. And if someone looks at you the wrong way... he knows where they live already. But why would you wanna leave? He spoils you!

he bought a big expensive ass house with that author money. Like bro imagine how many voicebanks he could buy me?! OR BETTER YET PRIMOS- I COULD GET C6 OF EVERY CHARACTER I EVER WANTED! You could get the outfits locked behind genesis crystals! You could get anything! You want pets? Here have all of them! Oh you want Vocaloids? Here! I bought every voicebank hou ever mentioned! They could be discontinued like Miriam and he still found a way! He's got contacts bro! You want horses? Aight here's your favorite horse breed! You shall live lavishly especially if you've been poor. If you grew up poor? You about to grow up RICH AS FUCK- the things you couldn't get as a kid? You have them now.

He might be the most tolerable solely because he spoils you with gifts, as you should. You tolerate the being imprisoned because of that lmao- all he asks for in return is love and affection! And by this points he's already manipulated you into trusting him again and loving him! And buying you gifts just makes you love him more! You were in no way a gold digger, no. He's doing this on his own volition. He thinks you deserve the world. You want Project DIVA ARCADE? He'll get that and suddenly you have your own damn SEGA arcade! He can get you every project diva game. A gamers dream- you can get all the Apex heirlooms! Especially your favorite characters!

He gives you the most freedom.

Luke keeps you in his room most of the time. He doesn't wanna take a chance so he doesn't let you roam the house.

You have a vague sense of freedom from Ian because he takes you with him to his photoshoots! However you are not to leave his side and you are to stay in view of him during his photoshoots.

Sean won't fucking let you leave. He may let you go to his Cafe with him, but if you wanna help out you're staying in the back. He can't risk losing you at all! He will check on you OFTEN.

Ray is the most lenient surprisingly. He lets you wander around the house and even in the yard! He's like 110% sure you're too far gone to even think about running away! Even if someone tried talking sense into you, it won't work. He's got you in a choke hold.

That's all I got rn lmao

[polychives]

I think I am the only person in love with Not!Sasha so have some evil wife content:

- Imprompt queen. Knows how to tell a promising lie and story on the spot

- Terrible at all and any technology. Even if it didn't break within 5-10 business days she would suck.

- When playing Minecraft all she knows is how to make eerily well done copies of other people's works. Specifically Sasha's.

- Holds the camera too close to her face

- Her and Nikolai regularly meet up for tea and Not!Sasha just bitches to her for three hours straight.

- Autistic icon

- Had it not been for social expectations she would run around on all fours and bite people

- She loves cats but is one of those obnoxious cat lovers who hate dogs and dog lovers

- Sensory overload all the time. She packs headphones with her and despises certain textures.

- Deeply in the closet for no reason. She did a pretty good job hiding it until she was bound to the Web and suddenly found herself only able to replace other gay people.

- Insists she isn't gay. The rest of the circus is like "...Girl why are you denying this we're literally a fruit bowl over here"

- Her and Jane Prentiss deserve to hold hands and maybe kiss.... toxic evil gfs <3

- Unlike Sasha, Not!Sasha tries to work the whole day and try to figure out what she's meant to do. Mostly because everyone she talks to thinks Sasha is this serious workaholic who takes her job super seriously. This works until Tim comes up to her and is like "babe <\3 you haven't touched your minecraft world in 23 days... u vibing?" And Tim makes it increasingly obvious this is the longest shes worked without doing whatever the fuck she wants.

- Unlike Sasha, Not!Sasha is short. Either on purpose or on accident, I don't know which is better.

- I've nicknamed Not!Sasha Tulip, I find it very cute

[burningthetree]

I LOVE ASK GAMES! please talk to me about your year in writing! okay for ao3 wrapped! Would you pretty please answer numbers 3, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, and/or 29 😇

I realize I am being unreasonable but I cannot help it :) please feel free to skip any or all

YES CAT OMG THANK YOU <3 i love talking about my writing let’s go!

(if you know me irl don’t you dare read under the cut)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

Either of my longer fics. I always had trouble writing longer stories (which is fine! Shorter stories are just as great, but I always wanted to write something longer and never seemed to be able to) so I’m just proud that I somehow managed to tell a story that is unreasonably and unnecessarily long. I specifically have forget me not in mind, but also safe and warm because I feel like my initial plan for that one is just as big a lie as my plan was for fmn and it’s going to be over 100k again I fear. But that’s something I’m proud of! Starting out with a small idea and then realising it’s going to evolve into something bigger than I’d anticipated, and then still sticking with it to see it through to the end, even if it gets overwhelming sometimes.

6. Favorite title you used

safe and warm! I struggled with what to pick for the title at first, but then felt relatively content with it. And I don’t want to base my satisfaction on outside validation but the people that did comment on the title pointed out the exact things I had in mind for it and that gave me a boost in serotonin

10. What work was the quickest to write?

I’ve been struggling with literally everything this year LOL I don’t think anything was quick to write. Especially after writing forget me not last year within four months everything just feels painfully slow. Albeit not quick per se, safe and warm is the quickest in comparison to the rest I’ve had lying around for months lol

12. How many WIP's do you have in your docs for next year?

So many 😭 let me go count them. I think it's seven. Yikes. But I'm currently only actively writing two. And one of those two will be finished in December, so currently it's eight but 2023 it'll be seven 'only'.

16. What's your most common "Additional Tags" tag?

My gut feeling says Hurt/Comfort and Angst. Let me go check. Yeah, it's definitely Hurt/Comfort. All my fics except one have that tag. I just…vibe with it a lot. As does everyone I know.

17. Your favorite character to write this year?

Kuroo! I genuinely think he’s my absolute favourite in all of Haikyuu!! and I’m having such a good time writing him, though I was very surprised because I always thought it'd be Akaashi or Oikawa. But writing him gives me so much joy and I find it relatively easy (though whether or not my version of him is accurate in relation to the canon-version is debatable). I'm also having a lot of fun with Kiyoomi and Atsumu, they're both such little shits it's a delight to write them.

I'd be a fake if I didn't mention Hawks, though. I find him very easy to write as well, and I had a lot of fun! Some of the whumptober prompts (I haven't forgotten about the collection, I promise, I will finish it one day!) went by really fast because they were Hawks-centric, even though it was my first time writing him. But I don't know, I enjoyed it a lot.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year?

Iwaizumi. I swear to god. I keep including him in my fic for the sake of IwaOi but sweet jesus he is driving me INSANE. I’ve never had this many issues with any character and I’m losing my goddamn mind because I don't know how to fix it. Also Edgeshot. I hate that man (I don't, but I do. I really do. I don't).

19. What's one pairing you want to explore next year?

YakuLev! I’m not the biggest fan of Lev because I find him really annoying but I’ve had an idea for them for the longest time now and I’ve started writing it a bit but it’s nowhere near done, so I’m hoping I get to finish it next year at some point! Also I've had an idea for SunaOsa for a while now that I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to get around to yet. So hopefully 2023 will be when I'll get to it!

I've also started to get a little invested in Aizawa/Mic so I've been thinking about them a little as well, also Levi/Erwin for some godforsaken reason lol (kudos to that one person on TikTok making constant videos about them and dragging me down that hole). So maybe I'll explore them next year, who knows, but I don't know if I'm well-versed enough in these fandoms to write something I'd be happy with regarding quality, but we'll see.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most?

Probably forget me not, purely because it’s the one long fic I’ve ever written. And I didn’t have any trouble writing it at all, with barely any writer’s block or creative block, which has been an ongoing issue with my current bokuaka that I just cannot seem to continue atm. So I'm looking at it for the character dynamics and set-ups of the scenes to get some inspiration and to revisit how I did it in the past in a way that works for me, and to see if I've changed anything without noticing that makes it work a lot less. Also just structure-wise it’s nice to revisit an older work that is relatively long to see what can be adopted into the new fic and what wouldn’t work.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year?

On my way to reread my writing to find something! Okay, as much as I always complain about writing Iwaizumi, some of the IwaOi bits I've written are my favourites. This is from Chapter 5 of safe and warm so spoilers if you haven't read it yet, but I had a lot of fun writing this star-crossed lovers bit, and it's a little long so my apologies, I just didn't know how much to include in this post and where to cut off. So it might seem a little odd out of context, but oh well.

Walking up the stairs to where Tooru had been hiding for a long time – they had both lost count of how long it had been – Hajime started to doubt everything about their plan, even though he had been the one to come up with it in the first place. Though he’d had the idea, that didn’t mean he had to like it, because he didn’t. If there was a different way, a way that would ensure Tooru’s safety and keep him close, Hajime would choose that, without hesitation and without a doubt. But there was no other option. There never had been. Not for them. Their love had been doomed from the start. And Hajime had walked into it head-first, fully aware of the pain he’d encounter on the way, and yet he hadn’t been able to stay away from Tooru. The same was true for the other man. “Hey,” Tooru greeted him in a serious tone that he rarely ever used. The grimness of the situation had finally settled in, and Hajime longed for the times when he used to get annoyed with Tooru’s usually playful and obnoxious tone. Hajime didn’t greet him back, didn’t find it in him to say anything, not with how tight his throat was feeling. He was sure that if he opened his mouth now, he would end up crying, and he wanted to avoid that at all cost. Because if he did, he knew that Tooru would object to ever leaving, and he couldn’t risk that, not if he was already risking everything he had by simply coming here. “Hajime,” said Tooru, approaching him carefully as if Hajime was a frightened deer that could be set off at any minute. He wasn’t scared for himself, he really wasn’t. It wasn’t like he was particularly fond of his life anyway, not when he remembered how many people were scared of him for following his father’s footsteps. Not when he remembered how scared Akaashi Keiji and Bokuto Koutarou had appeared earlier as Washijou thought it necessary to injure their friend in such a pointless manner as well. “Hajime, look at me,” said Tooru and walked up to him, cupping his face with gentle hands. The warmth of Tooru’s palms against his skin was filled with love, and it helped him calm down a little bit, to stop his thoughts from spiralling out of control. Hajime did as he was told, and Tooru’s loving brown eyes were set on his, his eyebrows creased in worry even as his lips gave him a smile.

It was a rare sight, having Tooru express such genuine emotion without hiding it beneath a layer of pretentiousness which Hajime hated and that he could see through as if it was a clear window with the curtain withdrawn. Only when they were alone did Tooru allow him to see his real emotions, and even though Hajime could always tell when his boyfriend wasn’t being sincere, he appreciated his honesty and transparency whenever it was just the two of them. “I have to go soon,” said Hajime as he took Tooru’s hands in his. “They are going to the palace soon, to try and find Sakusa and Kuroo. Most of us will go there, so take these.” He handed Tooru the tickets, who took them hesitantly. “It is your best chance. The sun is setting soon, so escape in the dark. Go to the train station, take these, and leave.” “Hajime, I–” Tooru started, but Hajime interrupted him. “There is no time for objections, Shittykawa,” said Hajime, pressing the tickets into Tooru’s palm with such urgency, he almost tore the paper as he did so. “I wasn’t going to object,” said Tooru, faking disappointment and something that Hajime couldn’t quite pinpoint. “I was just going to say that I love you, but I guess you don’t want to hear that, so–” “Shut up,” said Hajime. “I want to hear that.” “What now?” said Tooru, and Hajime could feel the familiar annoyance rise in him at Tooru messing around with his emotions, fully aware that Hajime had a horrendous understanding of his emotions and a hard time dealing with them. “You want me to shut up or tell you that I–” “I am begging you,” said Hajime, “to quit teasing me so. I need you to tell me. Please.” “You’re annoying,” said Tooru. “You’re grumpy and you insult me all the time and you are the sweetest and best person I know. I love you, with all my heart, and after

There you go! This was the first passage that came to mind because this drama has such a chokehold on me, and I cannot wait to dive into it deeper. Thank you so much Cat, I absolutely loved rambling here <3

[devinescribe]

Next Time, No Death, Yeah?

Chapter 10 of '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Warnings: Swearing, weapons, violence, blood

You were somewhere in Tokyo. Where? You'd find out sooner or later.

Currently however, you were walking through an abandoned mall. Everything was abandoned, so it didn't make this one anymore special than the millions of buildings in Tokyo. There was broken glass under your shoes that crunched when you stepped on it. "That's fucking satisfying," you whispered. "You're weird," Last Boss said from besides you. "Ok, if anytime you talk it's an insult to me imma hit you," you said, glaring playfully at him. It was an empty threat, he noticed, seeing as your tone of voice was too light and playful to be a real threat. "I wouldn't test her patience. She can be a real bitch when she wants to," Niragi stated, walking in front if both of you. Last Boss saw your eyes narrow, like a cat about to pounce on its prey. You reached your hand out, and tugged on his hair. "I just said if you insult me I'll hit you," you laughed. "Ow. Fuck you," he cursed, rubbing his scalp as you laughed. You shrugged your shoulders walking faster, ready for anything to happen. 'What could go wrong?' You thought. 'All the militants must be pretty trust worthy if the have weapons.'

Well, that's what you thought when you first got there. Now, not so much. One of the militants had tried to escape, seeing as they got all they needed from the Beach. Hiding behind objects when the man had a gun seemed like the best idea. "Alright, so what do we do?" You questioned Niragi, who kept looking from the side of the cement wall you two were hiding behind. "Stop the guy, and try not to get shot," Niragi responded, a tone of sarcasm in his voice. You noticed, but really it was a solid plan. Not getting shot was the best outcome for both of you. "Sounds like a good plan to me, let's go!" You shouted. He found it amusing how only a few days into the borderlands, you had already adapted. There was so much change, and usually you didn't do well with change. But yet here you were. "He's going to run out of bullets. And he can't change them that fast. So, let's wait till he runs out, then we grab him and take the gun away," you suggested, pointing at a mirror that showed the reflection of the man. "His bullet case is strapped onto his belt... You damn genius," he said, petting the top of your head. You leaned into his touch, enjoying the feeling. You smiled, shrugging your shoulders. "You the left, I'll take the right," he instructed. "Oki doki, let's goooo I'm bored!" You exclaimed, loading up your pistol. He kneeled down, peeking out the side of where you were hiding. "On the count of three?"

"Yeah."

"One."

"Two."

"Three!"

You both ran at him, being concentrated on the gun. He tried to shoot, but he had already ran out. He reached to grab bullets, but you aimed your gun, shooting it at his arm. He dropped his gun, yelping in pain. Niragi kicked the gun away from him. "Nice shot (N/N)," he complimented, high fiving you. He turned his attention back to the man on the floor. Blood was passing through the hand that covered his wound, staining it crimson. "Damn, any last words? Regrets? You know, death to the traitors and all," Niragi asked, crouching down besides the man, pointing his gun at the man's chest. He gulped, and took a shaky sigh. ''Yeah. I only regret that a girl took me down," he said. Your eyes widened, and you grabbed the knife from its sheath on your waist. You bent down to his level, stabbing the knife into his stomach, and twisting it. He screamed in pain. "This girl knows how to murder and get away with it," you said. You let go of the knife stepping back. He immediately pulled the knife out, making both you and Niragi laugh. "Hey, dumbass. That makes more blood come out," Niragi snickered. The man tried making pressure on his stomach his shirt staining dark red. "Alright, I'm bored. Someone else can do that. I got his blood on me, I feel nasty," You said, grabbing Niragi's hand and pulling him along with you.

Once you entered a random store, you looked down. There was blood covering your hands, and your swimsuit. You cringed in disgust. "That was pretty fucking badass," Niragi said, walking around the store. You sighed, "I guess." It dawned on you that since you were a militant, you could wear actual clothes. "Wait, so on supply runs what do guys collect?" You asked. Niragi turned to face you. "Anything and everything that could be useful. And of course, we are allowed to bring back personal items if wanted," he answered. You smirked, grabbing some backpacks off of one of the shelves, giving one to Niragi. "These would be easier to carry things around in," you suggested. "Ok, well then you take the pink strawberry one," he said. You rolled your eyes, trading backpacks with him. "Suck up your fragile masculinity you stupid fuck~," you sang before laughing. He shook his head, following you around. It really was like you two never skipped a beat. Sure, your whole lives had gotten derailed, but being back together made most things ok. The longest you two had been without each other had been the two months you stayed with your grandmother. After that first summer without him, you always asked if he could go with you. Even though you had called each other every night, you couldn't go to sleep. It wasn't like he was with you every night, but knowing you'd see him the next day would always comfort you. You didn't know why, it just did. So every summer both of you would have two months of peace at your grandmother's house.

"Alright, that's two bags full for each of us. Let's see if we can fill a third?" He asked. You both put the bags in the car. The person who was guarding the cars thanked you both. She looked down at your hands, and back up at you. You gave her a friendly smile seeing her stare. You sort of forgot about your blood stained hands. She smiled nervously, waving you both away.

"What was her problem?" You scoffed, crossing your arms over your chest as you both walked back. "Blood," he answered, pointing at your hands. "Oh... well, sounds like a her problem," you said nonchalantly. It was quiet. Something you hadn't taken the time to appreciate before. Living in the city, there was always something making noise, it was never quiet. But now, looking at the desolate city of Tokyo, you sighed happily. It reminded you of the quiet up at your grandmother's house when you were little.

"Hello? Earth to (Y/N), Earth to (Y/N)," Niragi teased, waving his hand in front of your face.  You shook your head snapping out of your daydream. "Sorry... spaced out. What else do we need to do?"

On the way back, people were more talkative and cheerful. They had done a lot, running through the empty streets to find things. You were quite excited to return back, as Chishiya had mentioned talking again when you got back.

"(Y/N), piece of advice. Don't go to the parties at the Beach... everyone's to drunk to notice anything, and no one stops anyone from doing anything. So be careful," Kuina said. You two had been talking for a while besides the pool, watching others splash each other with water. You nodded, looking around. "It also seems you've caught the attention of Chishiya. He seems to think you're quite smart. That's near impossible, good job girl," she complimented. You laughed, shaking your head. "This is the first time in months I've been... truly happy, I guess you could say," you said, looking down at blue water in the pool. "What do you mean by that?" She questioned. "Well, back in our world, I thought my best friend was dead, so... I wasn't in the best mental state," you answered. "Ew, sorry, I just made this conversation about me. Ick, I hate it," you shuddered, shaking your hands. "Please tell me something about you Kuina?"

"They seem to get along well. She keeps him in line, she could be very useful," Ann observed after hearing what happened at the supply run. "She's also quite the wildcard, if you ask me. Dangerous, but calculated. Seems like she'd be a methodical killer in a show or something," Last Boss commented. This drew some attention, as he never spoke about others that often. It was often short answers, but it seemed you'd peaked his interest.  "Well, it's no use just talking about their skills. Put them to the test!" Hatter suggested, a bit too cheerfully for everyone in the room. "Haven't they proven themselves already? She's pretty high up for a newcomer, and Niragi has been here for a while, he's a high rank as well," Ann questioned, turning to face Hatter. "They've proven themselves as individuals. But if we have a pair that is on the same level physically and mentally, who seem to find fun in the games, that trust each other..." Hatter started, trailing off. Ann caught on to what he was saying. "It's an advantage for us in the end... in using their connection, it makes them stronger players?" Ann said, suggesting her thoughts. Hatter smiled widely, "Bingo! The easier the games are to clear, the faster we can all leave!" Of course, Ann was a bit uneasy at the idea. You had both proven yourselves to be useful, even in the short time you'd been there. Niragi, while annoying to deal with at times, did have amazing abilities with guns. He was able to complete games without hesitation to hurt others to get his goal, and that's what made him such an asset to the Beach. People feared him. The more you fear a person or punishment, you are more likely to not do what lead to dealing with that person or consequence. You were already building quite the reputation. Although coming into the Beach with Niragi, you would expect people to avoid you. People backed away from you even more now, seeing as you were a militant, and a dangerous one at that. You two were equally as intelligent and dangerous, the only difference being you thought things out before rushing in. He was more impulsive. A do now, think later kind of person. You, however, you thought first, thinking of outcomes, and followed through.  It would be interesting to see how you two worked together.

Wow that took a while to write for no reason at all.

[alltheangstmygifttoyou]

I posted 329 times in 2021

124 posts created (38%)

205 posts reblogged (62%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 1.7 posts.

I added 184 tags in 2021

#art - 52 posts

#learn to be - 30 posts

#writeblr - 29 posts

#morgan weasley - 18 posts

#ask away - 17 posts

#a family curse - 9 posts

#tag game - 8 posts

#cats - 8 posts

#old story - 7 posts

#vent - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 99 characters

#cordelia eventually snaps about it making very clear to the reader that what theyre saying is cruel

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Catch Up Game

Thank you for the tag @karolinarodrigueswrites :3

Rules: tag people you want to get to know better/catch up with!

Favorite Color: black, red, and purple

Currently Reading: Fangirl and My Hero Academia 

Last Song: Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show

Last Movie: Galaxy Quest

Last Series: Falcon and the Winter Solider (haven’t finished it yet)

Sweet, Spicy, or Savory: Savory 

Craving: Sleep and an m&m cookie

Tea or Coffee: Hot chocolate, I don’t like caffeine 

Currently Working on: Everyone Needs To Learn To Ask For Help also known here as Morgan’s story

Tagging: @prose-for-hire @alexie-writes

7 notes • Posted 2021-06-02 16:11:05 GMT

#4

🍓, for the character you think needs a hug the most

Thank you for the ask!!

This is a very difficult question because my first thought was all of them. But if I had to pick specifically which charecter needs a hug then I would go with... I'm going to list a couple and explain why:

Greenland very much needs a hug. She struggles a lot with understanding her own emotions. She's scared of touch, its uncomfertable and feels dangerous, but she also craves it. A very soft hug that gives her the option to opt out would be best and probably make her cry. Which she needs to since she bottles everything up.

Noah also needs a hug because even though he suffers the least physical and emotional abuse of the main cast he very much is not able to properly handle his problems. As a young child he has to deal not only witnessing a gory death but also know he was the main cause. Not to mention his mothers rapidly decreasing health requiring him to become the caretaker of the house at a young age which meant he did not have many positive reactions outside of his mother. Who then gets ripped away from him and hes placed in a city sized school with thousands upon thousands of people older than him, placed in the group that kind of announces to everyone that you've either killed or are very well capable of killing a person, and expected to act like a kid that hasn't been homeschooled all their life and figure everything out. So he is in dire need for someone to hold him and let him know he's going to be okay :(

Btvs Eva needs a hug because ever part of her life has sucked and she goes back in time to try and get the very dysfunctional but at least better than her biological family back together safe and sound no matter what. Also has to deal with the fact that said dysfunctional family will never be quite the same as she knew them because of her interference in time travel and even though the majority of them would be dead in her orginal timeline even those that weren't might as well be. Which means even though she's trying to make their lives better and prevent some of the terrible things that happen that will inevitably highly affect their personality. So no matter what she isn't really going to get what she wants even if she does succeed in bringing everyone back together. So a group hug would be very good for her.

8 notes • Posted 2021-11-05 22:51:00 GMT

#3

Tw: suicide

Haha so um how do you email your teacher that you haven't done the homework because you got really sick and then got so overwhelmed that you tried to slit your throat and now you're on suicide watch and still haven't been able to do any homework cause the thought gives you a panic attack?

9 notes • Posted 2021-07-21 17:36:50 GMT

#2

Its five thirty in the morning and im shaking and having heart palpitations and im very tired but the idea of sleeping is making me anxious why is this happening

10 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 09:26:33 GMT

#1

Speaking of art by the lovely @flummoxedangel I dont remember if I shared this or not but this was a present they gave me of three of my favorite boys and myself. Wesely Wyndam-Pyrce is in the blue shirt, Percy Weasley is reading the book, and Karkat is the gray one with horns. These three are favorites that my mind keeps circling back to.

Edit: the fact that no one told me I spelled karkat as katkat and had to scroll through my own blog and see it xD

12 notes • Posted 2021-10-31 19:03:48 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[myfalsedevotion]

Tag Games

Okay, so I haven't really been responding to any tag games since two months ago and I know I'm the worst but I'm going to do them all now in a row in here, and if you guys have tagged me, know that I saw it and appreciated it I just didn't have the mental capacity at the time and now I find myself with way too many tag games I didn't even respond to and feeling extremely guilty... I'm sorry :S

Everything below the keep reading so I don't clog anyone's dash!

First one, tumblr informs me it's from 64 days ago (I'm really really sorry), thank you @mychemicalobsession514 so much for the tag!

Mine would be AU with an attempt at humour hahhahaha I think it fits 😅

***

Thank you for the tag @ireallydontknowhowtolife, so sorry for the delay :S

indoor plants or gardens // cloud-watching or star-gazing // water or fire // paperback or hardcover // running or hiking // sleeping with socks or without // fruits or vegetables // hanging plants or succulents // dark wood or light wood // handwritten or typed // instagram or pinterest // braids or pigtails // books or movies // oceans or meadows // forests or fields// sweet or salty // ice cream or chocolate // hoodies or sweater // long hair or short hair // piercings or tattoos // summer or winter // boots or sneakers // cars or motorcycles // curls or straight hair // castles or cottages // sunny days or storms // reptiles or birds // disney or nickelodeon // strawberries or watermelon // essays or posters // phones or laptops// glass or stone // dark or light // photos or painting // circuses or theaters // reading or writing // dogs or cats// poetry or novels // monsters or ghosts // thrift shops or libraries // fiction or non-fiction

***

Thanks for this tag, @ncstas!

three ships: DavidxPatrick from Schitt's Creek, FitzSimmons, SamBucky (no one said canon, right? hahahha)

last song: American Pie by Don McLean

last movie: Black Widow

currently watching: I am kind of in a moment in between fixations 🤔 but I am watching Loki as it airs.

currently reading: catching up on all the fics I couldn't read while I was studying these last months

currently craving: motivation to write :C

and for this one!

fav color(s): forest green!

currently reading: catching up on all the fics I couldn't read while I was studying these last months

last song: American Pie - Don McLean

last movie: Black Widow

last series: Loki?

sweet, sour or savoury: currently, savoury. Ask me in an hour, it'll have changed hahhaah

currently craving: just a crumb of motivation, I'm not asking for much

coffee or tea: BOTH, it depends on the occasion. During summer I need to chug coffee first because I usuallly wake up with a BP of 85/50 or something, and I need to up that shit quickly hahah

currently working on: Ch12&13 of Rare and I am more than noticing how rusty I am... it's been too long

***

I was tagged by the amazing @glitterandsummerdaze on this tag game, I'm so sorry for the delay!

open your spotify “on repeat” and the first five songs are the soundtrack to your personal rom-com

Renegade (feat. Taylor Swift) - Big Red Machine, Taylor Swift

Starting Line - Luke Hemmings

That Funny Feeling - Bo Burnham

gold rush - Taylor Swift

You Stupid Bitch - girl in red

That is... I can see that as a romcom soundtrack 😂

***

Okay next up, Maya @calumsash , I am so so sorry I haven't even acknowledge your tags... I have like 3 of yours piled up, I'm so sorry :S

How similar is my taste in music to yours:

For this tag, (reblog with the meaning/origin of my url and my favorite color) my url is pretty easy to explain hahahha I stole it from an All Time Low song 🤭 "i'm sick and tired of false devotion" and well, idk, I just liked it hahahahah I was setting up a new tumblr just for fics and here we are (I even fell back down the spn rabbit hole when I was only ever meant to post about bands XDDD). For the longest time I couldn't decide between blue and purple for my favourite colour and then I chose neither: it's green. Forest green hahahahah

For today's tag (I can't believe I'm actually answering to a tag game on the day I've been tagged O.o), which is this one, here are my answers:

1. Favourite song at the moment

I don't know if I'd call it favourite but, I haven't been able to stop singing American Pie since thursday night thanks to Black Widow 😅😅 It doesn't help that I've known all the lyrics to it since I was little thanks to my dad because I'm basically singing over and over a song that's 8 and a half minutes long hahahahah

2. A song you associate with your favourite ship

Is it too self-serving and lazy of me if I copy your answer and say Paper Rings Maya?😅 hahahaha No, for real, that song (even though parts of it don't align with cashton on athob) is forever tied to them for me 💙

3. A song that could be about you

This is me trying there are just more than a couple of lines that hit too close to home

4. A song you think is underrated

Outside of ATL or 5sos or Taylor I never go much into music fandoms so... I don't know how to answer. Any song I could say is underrated could very well be a fan favorite and I just don't know... 😅

5. A song that reminds you of a good memory

Sonrisa Especial by El Sueño de Morfeo reminds me of a period of my childhood were I wasn't sad all the time (which was rare in my childhood tbh), it's an obnoxiously happy and uplifting song that I can't relate to most days but when I do, it's quite special hahahha

6. The last song you listened to

... American Pie 😅😅😅

7. A song that makes you laugh

I Hate by Passenger, it never fails to make me laugh hahahah

8. A song you want your mutuals to listen to

ufff, anything by Kina Grannis I can't pick just one song, I can't

Thank you so so much for the tags Maya 🥺🥺🥺💙💙💙💙

[pbandjesse]

I'm pretty exhausted again. I'm very much looking forward to going to sleep but today is my very nice day.

I voted! But I didn't do it until the end of the day. I slept okay last night. Dad was out in the living room and I was in my room. I woke up at 8:30 and got dressed. He had gone around the corner and have coffee. But he came back around 9. We spent the morning fixing stuff up in here. He fixed my window and the fence. And we talked about stuff. It was a nice morning.

It was pouring outside though. And so we decided we would go out to the county to have breakfast since I didn't really want to walk anywhere. We went to an IHOP. It was actually IHOP where I had a date earlier this year. Which was funny. And we had to wait for the longest time. We got there a little after 10:30 and we didn't get seed until 11. And the restaurant was empty. The waiting room was full. They were only seating people in like seven of the booths and nowhere else. And people are starting to get pretty angry. I texted James and he agreed with me that people are more likely to not be upset if they're sitting in seats rather than waiting with an empty dining room. So I don't understand the thought process there. But it seem like the wait staff and management were having some issues. But I wasn't that concerned we had plenty of time.

It was nice just sitting and talking to Dad though. We eventually got seated and I showed him some of my music but I've been listening to. And we got our food. Our waitress was very nice. And I'm just really glad he got to come visit me.

We drove out to Wildwood next so that he could see the school that I'm teaching at. And then we drove to where I had to get dropped off to go to work for training. We sat in the car for a few minutes and talk to. But I felt anxious about going inside so I just said that I was going to go. And he headed home. I am annoyed that he has not texted me that he got home safe. But I'm sure everything is fine.

It was a long day of training. First they asked us to be there at 1. But there was a whole bunch of drama and so we didn't start until after 2. But I do get to sit next to Marcus and talk about the cat. Who's drag name is apparently Mufasa. And apparently the cat is very scratchy but they're having good luck so far. They're just hoping that the roommates allergies settle out a little bit more before they can really make a decision but he says that he really likes the cat a lot. So I'm glad that's working. It was also Marcus birthday today so we had donuts for everyone so that was nice.

The first part of the training was cultural competency which was really enjoyable. We got to learn about how to best understand students and how we shouldn't make assumptions and how to be better about understand where they're coming from. The second half of the PD was weird. It was supposed to be a meeting for just the white teachers to talk about something. But then everyone felt uncomfortable with that idea so the girl who was supposed to read it kind of explained why we are doing it. And all of us kind of went around the room and talk about why the wording of how it was put in front of us made us uncomfortable. And we all kind of discussed how we can move forward. I've kind of felt bad for the girl because she had obviously put a lot of effort into program and we try to shut her down. And I would like to hear what she had to say but I don't think the way it was presented was the best way to go about it. There was good intentions but people were still hurt.

It was really nice meeting co-workers I haven't met before though. Teachers from the other sites. And it was nice being able to voice some of the things that I've been worried about. I was a little frustrated with the girl who is going to be leading the program because she kept saying that white teachers cause damage to students of color. And how she doesn't believe white teacher she even really be in the classroom with black children. And it just went around from Good Intentions to another form of segregation. Which I feel I see often in sjw communities online. Where the intentions are to be respectful and learn more. But it gets to a point where you treat people of color as other so much that you segregate us again. And make it so that we have to be afraid of each other in the long run. It just makes me crazy that we can't have a conversation where we can be honest but not have this white guilt thing that she was talking out both sides of her mouth about. Regardless. I'm glad the conversation happened and I do look forward to working with my co-workers and my students and learning more and being a better person. And a better teacher.

I was pretty exhausted after that honestly though. I wanted to just call the car and go home. But voting was very important to me and I decided that I would take the bus since it was just about to be coming anyway. The sun was going down and there was a rainbow and it's beautiful and the sunset was just so nice over the hill. And then my bus came and I went and voted. And my polling place was really nice. I got a snack bar at a sticker and a button. I gave the button to James.

I'm glad I was able to vote. I headed home after that and cleaned up and fed sweet pea. And then I went to James's house.

It's his DND night so I just gave him his next birthday present and hug him for a while. I got to meet two of his friends that I haven't met before. One of them didn't actually know, he's a friend of a friend in the group and it was his first night there. So I'm glad James is making friends and having a good time. I was only there for about an hour and then I decide to come back home so I could get cleaned up and rest.

I biked back here and took a bath. I wash my hair and I basically just been sitting on the couch watching videos with sweetpea since then. I was going to work on my studio but I just feel really beat up. I think I might go down for a few minutes and do some stuff after I get this posted but I really just want to go get in bed.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to go over to the thrift store in Fells Point and bother James wherever he's at. And then I'm going to work. Teaching Wildwood. It's another drawing day and I'm looking forward to it. I hope that the kids had a good weekend. Nice long a little break. I hope you all stay dry tonight and sleep well. Kiss all of your cats on their sweet little heads for me.

[children-ofthe-wind]

Longest day of my life, June 21st

It's been a long time since I wrote something out. Then again, I only really write when I feel the need to. And I just have not felt that way lately.

It's so fitting that this all occured on the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. It felt like a never-ending Hellish nightmare.

On June 21st, a few days after my birthday, my best friend, my furry child, my everything, left this Earth. His name was Misaki. I still haven't been able to completely recover from his absence. I feel a part of me expects me to, just like the others in my household have seemed to, but I know I can't be like them. I feel things too deep, and I felt very close to my baby.

He started first showing signs a few weeks back. At first we assumed it was just a cold because the outside cats we feed had a cold. It was just a cough and they sneezed frequently. We assumed Misaki had the same because we heard him cough a few times. This was maybe around the first week of June. It started off with him not being as social which really was not like him, as he LOVED being the center of attention. He wasn't a super social cat, he wouldn't go up to everyone and everyone, but he would definitely love being in the middle of all the action. He was very curious of everything and everyone. He stayed in my grandma's room away from everyone. I started noticing signs, he would really only just sleep all day. I know cats typically do that, but it felt different. He would at least do other things before, like change his spots frequently, look outside the kitchen window at the birds, want to play, and other typical cat things. But during this time, he was really only sleeping and shifting positions. I suggested we take him to the vet so we did, and they just gave him a shot and he should have gotten better. He should have gotten better.

Literally a day or two later, he just stopped eating. It got worse. He started just staying in my room all fricking day. ALL he would do was sleep on my bed, sleep on the floor. He would change spots and that is literally all he did all day. Sleep on the bed, sleep on the floor. Only sometimes would he make it far enough to the hallway and even at that point, he wouldn't go much farther. We started getting very concerned and we had to schedule another appointment, with another vet that was going to examine him better than the first one did. After a few days of hardly eating anything and drinking almost no water, he had lost a lot of weight. Mind you he was a pretty big kitty. He was a little over 8 years old and he weighed around 19 lbs. After these few days of not eating, we found out he weighed 16 lbs. This time, the vet did everything well. They helped him by giving him IV fluids, they gave him a shot for inflammation and pain, and they also gave him something to make him hungry. They gave us medication to give him at home. But what they told us about his labs was completely unexpected. They told us he had feline leukemia. It didn't seem that bad at the time because the doctor didn't make it seem like a big deal, but he also mentioned he had another infection that he was unable to pinpoint the location of. Me and my mom just assumed that it was the issue he had with his mouth. He had a previous issue of one of his teeth bothering him which we were going to schedule him a surgery for but we had to reschedule due to a family member passing away a few days before his appointment.

Anyways, we took him home and he was COMPLETELY FINE. We were all happy to see him good and walking again. He started eating. We gave him medicine for a week. He was wanting to be where the action was again. My neice had her graduation party that same weekend we took him to the vet, and he was out and about mingling. He was sitting in the kitchen, waiting for food. He was in the middle of the living room, watching everyone walk in and out and around him. He even laid on the kitchen table. He was completely fine again and in fact, it seemed he was eating a lot more, as if to try making up for the days he wasn't eating. And we happily gave him more food. We gave him a good variety too because he tends to get bored of his food if we don't change it up. Fish was his favorite, so we gave him raw and cooked salmon, tilapia, pieces of leftover lobster, canned tuna. Everything was perfect and we had nothing to worry about...

... Until it started again. He lost his appetite again. Didn't want to eat or drink anything. At one point, my mom even tried forcing him to drink water from a syringe. The last time we visited the vet, which was the week of the grad party, we had scheduled another appointment anyways even though the vet said it probably was not necessary after giving him all the IVs and shots. We ended up rescheduling even sooner than we were scheduled. I believe we were scheduled on Thursday, but we had to reschedule for Monday instead and thank goodness they were able to get us in...

It got bad on Saturday, the 18th of June. He completely stopped eating on that day again. On Friday, he was just barely eating. The same behavior came back. To my room, only to sleep on my bed and on my floor. That week, he wasn't too active but it was better than Saturday. He was still heaading to the hallway and hanging out there, just laying down. He was also able to walk to the kitchen. But on Sunday, the 19th, he started hiding under my bed. I assumed he did so because my mom kept trying to feed him even though he didn't want to eat. She kept bringing him foods she knew he liked, along with water. I didn't think too much of it since it seemed logical that he was hiding from my mom. We were talking and we were considering going to the Pet 911 since they are open on the weekends but we decided against it after seeing horrible reviews about them mistreating pets and many of them had their pets pass away there. So we had to wait til Monday, the 20th, to see if they can schedule us at the vet we have been going to. Thankfully, we were able to schedule an appointment on Monday. He was still under my bed most of the time, sometimes he would lay in the middle of my floor that day. At one point, he was hiding under my bed and my mom tried yet again to feed him or talk to him. She mentioned that while she tried calling him, he was staring at the wall. She said he seemed to be looking into outer space, completely spaced out. A little bit later, he was walking out from under my bed and I almost lost it. He was waddling side to side, he couldn't even walk straight. I was in absolute shock because I had never seen him walk like that, he seemed like he was barely able to. I didn't even know what to do, but he was walking to his litter box which is right outside my door, and as he went into the litter box, he almost fell over. I panicked and screamed for my mom to call the vet and see if they can let us in right now, as soon as possible. It was around 3 pm and this time, our appointment was at 5 pm. She called and we were unable to go in earlier. I was frantic and I didn't know what to do, I started crying and told my mom to carry him back to my room, and she did. I had never heard him cry the way he did when she picked Misaki up. He was in pain from being picked up. She quickly brought him into my room and he immediately just laid down. My mom started petting him and trying to talk to him, and I was still in shock, I was just crying on my bed. After she left, I could see tears on the ground that belonged to my mom. Misaki crawled under my bed again, and this time I laid my pillow next to where he was and I laid there will him, observing him. He did seem very off. His eyes looked very sad and watery... But he was still alert, that I do know. He hardly wanted to look at me while I was next to him. I started noticing how much skinnier he looked now. We started getting the carrier ready at aroune 4:20. I spent the rest of my time near him unti that time came. We got him into the carrier and what followed next... is just burned into my memory.

We got him in the car and he was meowing like crazy. He was meowing and falling back, he couldn't even stand. It was like the meows he was making was taking the last remaining energy he had. He started crying... It looked like he was going to pass out. We kept trying to talk to him to calm him down, and we drove to the vet. Even now, I want to desperately know why he was crying. I really hope he didn't think we were taking him to the vet so we could just leave him there to die... I think that might haunt me for the rest of my life, not knowing that answer. Along with other things that are still unanswered from this whole tragedy.

So he eventually calmed down and we kept talking to him the entire drive there to help him stay calm. We made it to the vet and they saw us very quickly. The vet examines Misaki, weighs him, the general thing like a pat down. He returned and he said Misaki seemed fine from a general pat down, and asked us why we were panicking earlier about taking him at 3 pm instead of 5. I let him know about him wobbling and how he almost fell over in the litter box. He said okay, and recommended the same labs be taken as last time. We agreed and waited.

When he came back, he said, his heart was beating well and he has no issues with his kidneys. But what scared him was the labs.

I don't remember everything the vet said because he used a lot of medical terms. What I do remember is that he said Misaki was anemic and that his red blood cells dropped very drastically from our last visit. He also mentioned something about his hemoglobin being very low and that the thing that stops us from bleeding out, that he doesn't have many of those left. He dropped below the number that stops us from bleeding out, so he basically said that Misaki could start bleeding from any orfice at any time. He also basically said that Misaki's immune system is shot up because of the feline leukemia and that whatever infection he may have, it seems very difficult for him to fight off because of that. I think he may have said a few more things but that's what I remember. It all seemed like a really bad situation but even at that, I had hope. Because of the fact that he ended up okay last time. So he gave us two options;

To leave Misaki there overnight and supply him with IVs and different types of shots and medicines. We would see how he does with everything and if it seems to be working, then he would send us home with more medicines that we would need to give Misaki. If he didn't seem okay, then we would leave him there for another night.

The second option was... He said to evaluate Misaki's "quality of life," which basically means we should consider putting him to sleep. When I heard that, I really couldn't hold my tears back. He gave us a minute to discuss and of course we chose to leave him overnight. Even though he gave us that scary second option, me and my mom both had hope that Misaki would be able to pull through. We knew he would be okay like he was last time, and that we just needed to keep giving him more medications so he could keep getting better. His immune system may not be good, but that doesn't mean that we couldn't help him with medicines and helping him to get better. So we went with the first option.

Had I know that was the last time I would have ever seen Misaki, I would have asked them to bring him back so that I could say goodbye...

On Tuesday, June 21st, the day of the summer solstice, at around 7:30 AM, my mom got a call from the vet saying that Misaki had passed some time in the morning around 5-6 AM.

... When I tell you my world was shattered... When I tell you I threw myself on the floor screaming and crying... Asking the universe, why why why...

I just couldnt face it. So many things were circling my head. Why? Why wasn't I there? Why couldn't I be there for him? Why did he pass away alone? I should have been there. I'm a horrible fucking person for leaving him there, I should have been there to say bye. I just couldn't understand. And even now it's just so difficult to process. He was completely fine 2 weeks ago. What happened?

I cried for about an hour, and after that we had to quickly get ready to pick up his remains. We were going to bury him in our back yard. I couldn't even bring myself to see his remains. As soon as I saw his little ear peaking out the blanket that my mom put over him, I broke down again. I did this several times where I looked back at him under the blanket and quickly turned away. I didn't want to see him like that. I didn't want to see my baby laying there, lifeless. Eventually I had to face it and I uncovered his little face. I stayed there with him for hours. It was like my brain was having trouble even comprehending the situation. I kept saying things like, Please wake up. They're going to take you if you don't want up. I love you, Misaki, so please wake up. Why are you so cold? You've never felt this cold before. You're always so warm.

We buried him at 1:11 PM. My baby was put in the ground..

It's Friday now, the 24th. And it's still so hard to process it all. I still expect to see him where he used to be. At the kitchen window, looking at the birds. On my bed. Under my bed. On my floor. On my desk. In the hallway. Waiting for food in the kitchen. In the bathroom, laying right in the middle of the floor. I forget that I no longer have to put my foot on the door when I come inside, in fear of him bolting outside. It just.. wasn't his time. He left too fucking soon, literally weeks after showing the first signs. It all seems so unreal. Every morning, I have to remember that he is no longer here. After seeing him for over 8 years, every single day and every single night... I still haven't gotten used to not seeing or finding him anywhere. My heart is broken yet my brain still hasn't been able to completely process it. I don't want to have to move on from him. I love him with all my being. It doesn't feel like that being that we buried on Tuesday was Misaki. And when I look at his videos, he just looks completely fine. He looks happy and healthy. So why...

It really feels empty. I feel empty. I feel like a part of me is missing, seriously. I've never felt this kind of emptiness before. I expect him to still be there, but he isn't... I hate having to go to sleep because every morning, it just hits me all over again. "Oh, that's right. That happened..." I still expect him to be there when I turn a corner. Or go to the kitchen. Or enter my room. I don't even know what to do about this anymore. How can I keep living my life feeling this way? It all feels like too much. Life feels like too much.

I'll stop here. I haven't slept well in a few days and I'm actually feeling tired right now though I'll probably write more.

[nemesis-nexus]

Winter Solstice/Yule 2019

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY! Great Dragons we call out to you on this Yule night! This year has been quite a ride and there have been many challenges but with you by our side we were able to overcome EVERYTHING that was thrown in our Path! We know no matter what happens that we will always emerge triumphant because while we walk our Paths as INDIVIDUALS, we also walk TOGETHER as a FAMILY!

Tonight is the Winter Solstice, the Longest Night ot the Year, and the beginning of the Yuletide! These last few days leading up to the Solstice have certainly been some of the most trying I have ever had to endure...

I know that a few of us have lost loved ones and for those of you who like myself have experienced a significant loss especially in recent days, know that you are not alone and that my door is always open if you need to talk or vent. It is for everyone generally speaking of course but the focus is on those of us who may be enduring slightly more difficult and arduous time than others this particular year...

For my personal situation I will vent here to venerate my beloved one and give him the respect and send-off he deserves:

HIS NAME IS MARRRRRRREDUUUUUUUUUUK!!!!!!!!!!!!

My BELOVED, TRUSTED, HANDSOME and FIERCE WARRIOR was someone who took in this lifetime the form of a big gray Maine Coon cat that waltzed up our front walkway, into our door, made himself at home and stayed with us for the last 5 years, until such time as Father called him to the Rainbow Bridge and I had to let him go so he could move on, to go be with the Ancient and Eternal Family...

HAIL MARDUK!

YOU WERE THERE WHEN I NEEDED STRENGTH!

HAIL MARDUK!

YOU LISTENED AND NEVER PULLED AWAY!

HAIL MARDUK!

MY ARMS FEEL EMPTY WITHOUT YOU IN THEM!

HAIL MARDUK!

MY HEART ACHES WITHOUT YOU HERE BUT BEATS WILD WITH YOUR SPIRITS FREEDOM!!!

This Solstice please be grateful for any family you have that loves you unconditionally because this is such a rare thing that those of us who hear about it can only assume it's a myth..

This Solstice comes at a time that is very painful for me personally; I lost not only one of my best friends, but one of my most trusted confidants and sources of psychic and emotional strength... My world has been rocked inside out and upside down... I am angrier than I have ever been, not just because of this but this and a whole host of other things, and I don't know what to do about it... but I don't want to make this about that, I just want people to understand that if they are stressed out or depressed or otherwise despondent that they are not alone! Again my door is always open if anyone needs to talk or vent!

This time of year can be very difficult for a lot of people, in fact there is a clinical diagnosis called SAD or Seasonal Depression. It is a kind of mental malaise if you will that descends upon people during the holiday season because either they don't have anyone to celebrate with or those that they do have are so judgemental or otherwise toxic that they are more destructive than constructive or even superficially festive to spend the holidays with so it becomes a psychic struggle of extreme proportions to determine whether or not it's worth it just to sacrifice yet another part of your sanity for the sake of maintaining an image or whether you should simply let go and do your own thing by yourself as you've become accustomed to doing anyway...

We learned through trials and tribulations who our real friends and Family are and as a result we maintained some relationships while we unfortunately had to let others go! We know that weeding the Garden is never easy, especially when what must be uprooted were those who we thought were perennials but through decay turned out to be weeds hell bent on poisoning the whole landscape!

While we may be human we often share traits with with our animal brethren whether we know it or not, after all we are all connected in this great circle or web of existence! For example the Alphas of many prides and packs do not place themselves above the rest of the Family because they know that despite their position their job is to PROTECT the Family not use it as a means of self-glorification!

This is how I run the Temple of the Eternal Dragon, keeping EVERYONE in full view and on an even keel so I know who's being messed with or who may be a sheep in wolf's clothing so to speak.

It is not necessary for me to be in full view of everyone all the time, in other words I don’t need to and have no desire to lord myself over anyone as everyone is perfectly capable of handling themselves. However, if I do need to make my presence known I will and if I do need to make a tough call I will do that as well.

Leading by example is understanding that without the rest of the pack THERE IS NO PACK, that it's NOT about YOU! The reason why many people fail as leaders is because they put themselves first and expect everyone else to just fall in line! Many so-called leaders think that they can show no respect whatsoever to the rest of those who make up their pack and still expect them to jump when they are ordered to do so!

This does not work because when one is only concerned with where THEY are going and what THEY are doing they literally lose sight of the rest of the pack and why they are there to begin with! This leads to a breakdown in the pack and often to the loss of the pack itself!

It is not uncommon if a wolf decides that they have had enough of the shit of the Alpha to challenge them in a fight to the death for control of the pack! This occurs in the human world as well though not always on a physical level because we know that death is NOT just a PHYSICAL thing!

In the human world the worst thing that can happen is when one loses all credibility and is no longer able to be taken seriously. This can happen when people are in positions of leadership but abuse that authority and treat those who supported them as though they were obligated to do so and should be grateful for the chance!

This is NOT acceptable, this is NOT leadership, this IS a DICTATORSHIP! If the Agents of Abraham taught us anything it's that dictators do not last and they will not be remembered favorably by the rest of the world and for good reason! Causing the ire of those who never did a thing to you is one of the most despicable practices one can engage in and eventually it will catch up to them and like the wolf who challenges the Alpha so too shall the dictator fall and fall hard!

True leaders demonstrate the same level of respect to everyone in their pack that they would want for themselves! Doing this shows the rest of the pack that they are valued not only as a pack but as individuals as well and more often than not will result in that leaders election, reelection or exaltation beyond because they know that the one leading the pack has everyone else's best interest at heart not just their own!

Respect like that CANNOT be demanded, it can only be EARNED and none of these so-called leaders will ever understand this because they are too wrapped up in the notion that if they are the one in charge then they can do whatever they want to and no one can or should ever question them!

What they fail to realize is that when one makes everything all about them all the time eventually they're going to find themselves by themselves, or at the end of a 'long pointy stick' - I know my fellow Heathens caught that reference! Nobody wants to be a member of a pack where their leader doesn't give a damn about them to the point where they have no problem announcing it to the world how much they don't give a damn about them then abandoning and ultimately dissolving one pack to defect to another!

No pack can survive that kind of shoddy guidance, because if everyone in the pack behaved like it was everyone for themselves then every member would be a target! Divide and conquer is a popular battle strategy because when one's ego gets incensed to the point where they will disregard everyone else then the rest of the pack is as good as dead! The same as in the human world if you have a platoon of soldiers going into a combat zone and then each soldier trying to be a war hero decides to go off in their own direction and nobody is listening to the platoon commander, that platoon is already dead even if they haven't been killed yet!

This is why RESPECT and TRUST are two EXTREMELY important things, without either one of them there is no pack and without a pack there is no leader! The sooner some people come to terms what this concept the better off they will be and so will the rest of their group!

Battle hardened and all wise Father and Mother, we are grateful for all that you have done for us and all that you have provided us with! Now in this time of transition, when the Dark Moon hangs on high and the Sun is reborn we know that those who have tried their worst will be fully exposed regarding the hostile animus they have presented against your Children and they will receive their just rewards in kind! HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY!

On this Blessed Yule let us remember what is most important;

The old Friends who stayed by our sides through everything,

The new Friends who weathered the storms,

Our Family - both Blood and Spiritual - who even when they are scattered the world over are always ever present in our hearts and minds!

This Yule let us take the time to not only appreciate and celebrate the spirit of the holiday but to also acknowledge all those who are unable to be with their families because they are deployed all over the world, willingly putting themselves in harms way so that we can celebrate the holiday without having to be concerned about being attacked by International aggressors!

Let us embrace our loved ones and be grateful for the fact that we have people to be with, there's so many out there that have no one! Let us be grateful for the things that we have understanding that there's so many others that have nothing!

With the rebirth of the Sun signaling the onset of Winter and Spring, the season of rebirth soon to come, we are facing some very dark times, however, like the Phoenix we will rise from the ashes! The clouds may kick up, they may block out the Sun, they may make it rain sometimes harder than others but for all of their noise and drama the Sun still exists and will come out after the storm passes!

This Yule take the time to brighten somebody else's day, don't assume that just because somebody might be in a foul mood or otherwise not overly jubilant that they are just that way because they're cantankerous. The fact is the holidays can be a very depressing time for some and we never know what someone's personal situation is. Sometimes all it takes is a friendly gesture and some kind words to uplift someone else's Spirit!

For all my Family - both Blood and Spiritual - and for all my Friends;

I wish you glad tidings,

An abundance of Prosperity,

Your cup to overflow,

Your plate to never be bare,

Peace of Mind in all that you do,

Strength of Spirit to push on through no matter how difficult times may get,

and above all…

I hope that you realize just how important you are to me; more valuable than any gem, more priceless than all the art in the Louvre, rarer than an honest politician, it is YOU who makes life worth living and I thank you for not only being part of my life, but for not abandoning ship during rough tides!

This Yule take the time to look around and truly appreciate everything and everyone you have because you never know what tomorrow brings and when you won't be able to let them know just what they mean to you!

Be careful never to part company on bad terms keeping in mind that the last thing you say to someone could be THE LAST THING you say to someone!

If you have a Family to take care of, Friends who would do anything for you, a strong Spiritual connection and Faith in yourself, you are the richest person in the world! Money is nice but it can't buy everything: Respect, Honor, Loyalty, Love, Strength, Commitment, Valor, Pride, Courage and Stalwartness are just a few of the things that cannot be purchased no matter how much money you throw down but they are the most valuable things that one can possess!

A Blessed Winter Solstice and Yuletide to you and yours!

"Ancestral Pride

In the bonefire bright and round,

The Flames crackle a joyful sound!

In the Darkness mystery is created,

In the Light wisdom is elated!

Throughout the year we are exposed to much,

Some things are seen while others are touched!

Whether it's senseless violence or vicious betrayal,

We will push on through we will prevail!

There is nothing that we can not overcome,

No matter the task until the job is done!

When the bells have tolled and the lines are drawn,

When the people feel that they can't carry on,

When the sky grows dark and the winds blow cold,

The people will gather the strong and the bold,

When the masses arise fully awakened,

The power will return to the ones from whom it was taken!

When the thunder cracks loud and the lightning blazes across the sky,

The people will stand proud willing to fight or die!

When the spears are rattling in the most serious of ways,

The people will herald the end of Abraham's days!

When Logic, Humanity And Reason are restored to the land,

The enemy will burn to the ground as united we stand!

Through the ashes of the past and the pain that was plenty,

All future Generations will remember

WE ARE ONE EVEN THOUGH WE ARE MANY!”

HPS Meg "Nemesis Nexus" Prentiss"

ZI ANA KANPA! ZI KIA KANPA!

MAY THE DEAD RISE AND SMELL THE INCENSE!

AVÉ IGGIGI!

AVÉ ANUNNA!

AVÉ DRACONIS!

HAIL THE GREAT SERPENT!

HAIL THE ANCIENT FAMILY!

🐍🌎🌬💖🌿🦌🐺🐲💧🔥🐉

HPS Meg "Nemesis Nexus" Prentiss

[raindropsonwhiskers]

The promised Doctor-specific stuff!

One is a blond(technically light orange but,,), slightly curly longhair and a gorgeous bastard. The kind of cat you know would bite you if you tried to pet him but,, he is so softe and so sweet looking that you want to take the risk

(Susan is a tiny little black and white kitten with the Biggest eyes and the tiniest, squeakiest little meow and One carries her around by the scruff)

Two is a black and white shorthair, specifically a tuxedo pattern. He is a polite boy (I'm a fake fan and haven't watched enough of Two to really know his character)

Three is a very fancy gray longhair. After getting put in time out on Earth, Gallifrey puts a restriction on his human form, since even if he did figure out how to fly the TARDIS again, he would have a hard time of it. Neither Liz not Jo really know how to handle being assistants to a telepathic cat who knows more than them about science, but they get used to it

Four is a brown tabby roughly the size of a bobcat and he is fluffy and Terrifying. He's very good for snuggling with though, especially with Romana. Look, just imagine them snuggling in the scarf and tell me its not the cutest thing ever

(Romana I is a very elegant black shorthair, and Romana II is a tiny calico. Four carries her around by the scruff a Lot, much to her annoyance.)

Five is one of those ragdoll cats that go boneless when picked up, and he, much like One, is a very pale orange/blond. He has the most ridiculous meow and it literally sounds like someone just saying the word "meow"

Six is pure white but he rolls around in colored chalk dust to be Colorful. Why? Because he's a dramatic bastard. No other reason

Seven is a tiny black and white Scottish Fold and the only person he will let touch him is Ace. Biting is beneath him but hissing like a snake and taking a swipe at someone is very much not

Eight has the longest, floofiest coat in the prettiest shade of deep brown/sable. Unfortunately, he spends about half of his time forgetting that he is actually a cat pretending to be human

War is pure black, all kinds of scarred up, and looks like he would bite. His fur is usually matted and patches are missing, he's got a chunk of his left ear gone, and his tail has that distinct bend to it that means its definitely been broken before

Nine is dark gray, and while he gives off less of a Feral Stray vibe than War, he still isn't the most charismatic of cats. Rose loves him anyways and lets him nap on her every so often

Ten is a pretty pale brown tabby with long-ish fur and an insanely fluffy tail. Like, you could make another cat out of all that fur and still have enough for a respectable tail. He gets hairballs sometimes, so Donna starts insisting on brushing him so that he won't

Eleven is a Long Boy. Brown tabby again, shorter fur than Ten but not by much, and he doesn't look long until he stretches and suddenly that is a Lot more cat than you expected. He likes to materialize his tail in his humanoid form to mess with it when he gets bored

Twelve is a gray tabby with long, curly fur and has the very stereotypical cat look to him - withering disdain at the mere concept of affection but the minute someone he likes starts to pet him he purrs like a rusty weedwhacker. Clara wears him like a scarf once and though they never speak of it again, they both enjoyed it

Thirteen is another technically-not-blond-but-close-enough, but you wouldn't know it, because she avoids her cat form like she does any other mention of her past. This has Absolutely Nothing to do with the fact that she blames herself for Grace's death and thinks that if she had just been able to go humanoid a bit quicker, she could have saved Grace. Nothing at all.

So, if you've been reading Practically Purr-fect on Ao3, you're probably already aware of the basics of the Cat AU, but I figured I should put it here too, because I have a lot of thoughts that won't fit neatly into fics

First, the basics:

Gallifreyans are, in their true form, extradimensional cats. Time Lords can, however, make use of a complicated mix of Chameleon Arch and perception filter technology to appear functionally human. This is great, because its way easier to be taken seriously when youre not easy to pick up and give head scritches. It's kind of built into them when they join the Academy

Extradimensional in this case means that to us they look like cats. Theyve got more limbs and eyes and Teeth(lots of teeth) in other dimensions that most creatures cant comprehend

They cant go human until theyve settled into a regeneration properly. For most of them, this isnt a huge issue, because they take about an hour or so to settle. For the Doctor, this is a massive inconvenience, because theyre very bad at regenerating nicely

Yes, this does lead to some Interesting interactions at the starts of s2, s5, s8, and s11

You know how I said the human-form tech was given to Academy students when they joined? Theres More going on there. The Timeless Child can do it naturally, but standard Gallifreyans cant. Tecteun looked at the Child's ability to go human at will and Yoinked it alongside regeneration.

This post has gotten long, so... I'm gonna put Doctor-specific stuff in another post. The tag for this AU is Dr Nya-rlathotep, which is a terrible pun but I'm fond of it