#halo; random shit
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https://www.mediafire.com/folder/uonclguhip1kw/LIVE
Shhhh
(@fakesimp @sh12pen-bookfan )
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The Halo Bible Abridged:
Here's the entire halo bible abridged: "the precursors invent all life in the universe because "we bored lol" and thus life evolves and exists. from these lifeforms sprout the forerunners, who are big simps over the precursors, wanting to also become god. Then, while nothing interesting happens in the universe, humanity evolves into existence, expanding faster than their big forerunner brother. They are more chill and kind and less childish and fanboying than the forerunners. This will be important later. Eventually, the precursors want to retire from being gods, so they all hold a vote on whether humanity or forerunners get the mantle of responsibility (literally godhood). humanity wins unanimously, cause no one likes a kiss-ass, and the forerunners throw a tantrum about it, eventually murdering the Precursors. (meanwhile humanity: "OOH! SPACE DOG!") humanity eventually asks where god went and the forerunners said they left to get milk, and left them in charge of the godhood. humanity was distraught by this news, knowing what getting the milk means. Meanwhile the primordial, the last precursor, malds and seethes for so long that they catch fire and burn to death, creating what would be come to know as cocaine. Humans discover this strange substance and their dog IMMEDIATELY sniffed it.
because it made their dogs virtually immortal, they proceed to administer this to all the space dogs. Then, a week later, all the dogs get sick at the same time, and turn into gross zombies that then start the walking dead in space. humanity successfully ALMOST contains the flood, but then they shoot an infected forerunner ship. This causes the Didact to blow a fuse and mald so hard he has no hairs left. The forerunners, being petty children, proceed to nuke humanity back to the stone age. literally. Then the Didact proceeds to turn most of them into e-boys, until his wife stops him with the master ball, and then locks him in the pc with her shiny gyarados and green mewtwo. The forerunners, completely lost without their general, get their shit rocked by space zombies, who also convinces their robots that murder is ok using a brand new tactic never seen before: GASLIGHTING! The forerunners start losing so bad, they decide if they can't live, no one can. so they put all living creatures in giant freezers, (including the flood, stupidly,) and set the microwave to defrost in 30 billion years, before creating giant rings to divorce the galaxy from life. this starves all the space zombies, (except the ones in their emergency meat locker) and save the galaxy. eventually, life thaws out and humanity evolves for the 3rd time ever, and then the events of the books and the games and terminals happen. that is the halo bible, abridged by yours truly."
#halo series#halo#shitpost#funny#humor#writing#lol#haha#writeblr#writer stuff#funny memes#writer things#dank memes#shitposting#silly#this is so stupid#sillyposting#shit post#idk#stupid shit#nonsense#random shit#abridged#halo abridged
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some sketchy saw stuff or whatever
i’ve always been a fan of most of the sets and most of the trap designs so i wanted to get around to quickly sketching some of those out
i might end up rendering these in sometime soon but that’s only if any of you would be interested in it or not. in the future i’d like to draw adam’s dark room and a few more traps
(ignore the last one i got lazy and didn’t finish so im leaving it off like that for now)
#halo draws#sketches#some random shit#idk#saw#saw franchise#saw ii#saw iv#saw v#um sorry if these look bad#i’ll improve#movieposting#i love movie sets
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So Mysta is graduating
I didn't see it coming at first but after some people point out his long breaks, his very few streams and his attitude towards everything, how he's starting to not care...
It makes sense now.
Dude's getting burn out, and it sucks.
I thought and hoped Luxiem would make it to the 2nd Anniversary... This sounds selfish, I know, but I wish Mysta had held out just until their 2nd Anniversary so we could have that with all 5 members.
I wanted to be able to meet him at a con, but niji has never gone to any conventions anywhere NEAR me. They're always oversees or all the way in California. Never near Florida.
I swear some vtubers in corporate have come back as their previous corpo vtubers when graduating on good terms so... I hope maybe both him and Nina eventually return??? May be in a long time but.. still...
I know it's stupid to think, but I wanted them to last forever.
Mysta was someone who understood everything and didn't try to pretend he was perfect like some content creators do. He liked to antagonize haters cuz it was funny as hell, and honestly me too-
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Yes I am a dimensional shifter thank you very much- that's what my persona-- HALO, WHO IS PUT INTO EVERY POSSIBLE UNIVERSE-- IS FOR-
They can fIT INTO ANY UNIVERSE BECAUSE I S A I D S O
Tagging
Idfk... @fallencrowkarma ???? She's the only one I know that is fine with tag games hELP
hi. i made a uquiz
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Y/N: *Screams* Jerome: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Alice: Should we do something?! Douglas, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.
Y/N: Listen, I can explain... Jerome: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000? Alice: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000! Douglas: You guys are getting paid?
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Alice: Why are Y/N and Jerome sitting with their backs to each other? Douglas: They had a fight. Alice: Then why are they holding hands? Douglas: They get sad when they fight.
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Y/N: I think we're missing something. Jerome: Teamwork? Alice: Cohesion? Douglas: A general sense of what we’re doing?
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Y/N, setting down a card: Ace of spades Jerome, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Alice, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Douglas, trembling: What are we playing
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Y/N: You know those things will kill you, right? Jerome, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point. Alice, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process. Douglas: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
#x reader#reader insert#jerome 092 x reader#alice 130 x reader#douglas 042 x reader#red team#halo red team#incorrect quotes#boredom#random halo shit
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My favorite g/t trope is when T is scared of falling off high places even though being really small means your terminal velocity (maximum speed at which you can fall) is greatly decreased and T could probably fall off the roof of a 5 story building and only get scratched.
#g/t#I'm so tired#I'm aroace idk why I put it here though#The opposite effect applies to giants#which is why whales die if they go on land#I swear a lot btw#I also rant random shit for no reason cuz autism#The first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed#only altered in form. For any system#energy transfer is associated with mass crossing the control boundary#external work#or heat transfer across the boundary. These produce a change of stored energy within the control volume.#I set my notification sound to halo ce elite noises and every time someone replies to a post I hear “wort wort wort”#not anymore though because I just muted tumblr
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I LOVE THIS ENTIRE THREAD SO MUCH-
fuck
#Plz-#halo; random shit#halo; reblog#THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY-#I'm laughing in the middle of class wtf#honk the clown noses lol
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Tanya the Evil always gives me Emotions when I try to read it, which does make it harder to get thru each book despite how much I love it, but I think I've made a Mistake by trying to read it while listening to Sabaton's "The War to End All Wars" album.
Y'all, I hit the song Versailles while reading Tanya's internal monologue about the cost of war while she was in the mop up of Operation Lock Pick. Y'ALL, when I say I had Too Many Emotions to continue reading, especially while on an airplane surrounded by strangers, I mean I had SO MANY EMOTIONS.
#there's always so much going on in the Tanya books#like I'll literally laugh out loud at something and then three pages later i'm having FEELINGS and need to put the book down to process#like.. objectively Tanya's protagonist halo letting her trigger coincidence after coincidence which makes the Commonwealth foam at the mouth#hunting for the mole/traitor that doesn't exist#and then you'll just get straight up gut punched with the most straightforward “hi yes war is hell and glorifying it is terrible” shit ever#combined with musings about a soldier's duty and the tightrope of survival as a soldier with limited options#and then the gut punch random reminders that Tanya is a super decorated war veteran with a Reputation and she's tiny! she's a child!#and after a point most everyone starts ignoring that outwardly she's a CHILD!#no one knows she's a transmigrator! no one knows she has an entire other life in her head!#they're just running with war genius child mage! she enlisted herself at NINE YEARS OLD! THIS WAS ALLOWED!#She saw her first action at like TEN!#(objectively she IS actively a bit of a war genius tho u know?)#(like she brushes it off as remembering essentially the history of war in our world but y'all..)#(y'all she's pulling memories of war tactics and maneuvers from her mind WITHOUT ABILITY TO REFERENCE ANYTHING)#(she's starting with what little she's being given as orders and what little she knows about the state of the war and the area terrain--#--and repeatedly putting these clues together into the Correct Answer to the point where she startles several superior officers)#(like yes she's not coming up with any of this on her own but she's remembering things she learned about and adding--#--the dimension of magecraft and repeatedly producing the same plan as her superiors without nearly as much current info)#(the amount of memory she needs to have for all those tactics/maneuvers/etc is incredible and shouldn't be discounted)#.... i had Feelings Again whoops#look she's not innocent or kind or good or even a RELIABLE NARRATOR but i love her so much
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Just wanna know how others perceive me.
#memes#police sketches or something idfk#cryptic shit#muh vibes#what kinda vibe do i be giving off#be real with me#uuuuuh idk what kind of hashtags to put here so imma put a bunch of random ones#godzilla#halo#kaiju#master chief#halo infinite#halo 3#halo ce#doom#anguirus
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quality halo moment
#this is all halo needs to be ever#I watched for like 20 minutes before deciding to proceed which was SO much harder than i expected#my computer did NOT appreciate the armada of grunts and my frames kept dropping to the point where i was shocked it didn't crash#and the only weapons i had on me were the axe which was pretty much a death trap and the random tool gun which spawns more shit#cursed halo
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ALL THE OTHER KIDS WITH THEIR PUMPED UP KICKS-
Ike, in a rocker outfit for a karaoke: How do I look Yellow Man?
Luca: …Y-You look like you’re about to tell your friend not to come to school tomorrow man.
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IT'S HAPPENING OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING
STAY CALM
I SAID STAY FUCKING CALM!!!
IKE MADE A SCOLDING + PAMPERING VP FOR FUCKING FREE ON STREAM
#halo; random shit#halo; vtubers#ike eveland#Slice Of Ike#Ike Streamland#luxiem ike#luxiem#Ike tskr#ike eveland shenanigans i suppose lmao#ike eveland x reader#basically lmao-#nijisanji en#nijisanji en x reader#nijisanji#nijien#niji en
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It’s a cold Wednesday night in January that has Eddie turning the thermostat up and allowing the government supplied heat to fill the trailer. He glances up at the vents and gives them a quick middle finger, wondering if they bugged the place to observe him or make sure he isn’t spreading their secrets.
He doesn’t really care at this point if they’re watching though. They already held him at the hospital for long enough, poking and prodding as if he wasn’t even human. But he didn’t turn into a vampire or some shit because of those damn bats. No. The jagged, ugly scars littering his body served as a lovely reminder that he was ultimately human.
Eddie glances at a nearby mirror and cringes at his face, taking a look at the long scar running down his cheek, jaw, and neck. The Corroded Coffin guys all said it made him look metal, and he would throw in a, “Hell yeah,” before smoothly changing the subject to something that didn’t involve him for once.
He takes a finger and slowly trails it over the pale pink skin, wondering if there will ever be a day he won’t notice it.
“Eddie,” Steve calls out gently from the room down the hall.
Eddie jumps back and glances toward him, hand falling to his side and flexing uncomfortably as if he’s been caught doing something wrong.
“You okay?”
Eddie smiles and gestures toward the thermostat. “Damn thing wasn’t working for a minute there. You’d think with the amount of hush hush money they were able to pay all of us, they’d be able to give me and Wayne a better trailer.”
But Steve only crosses his arms and leans against the door frame, eyebrows raising gently. It’s not entirely accusatory, but it’s clear that he doesn’t believe a thing Eddie’s saying.
Although they’ve grown close while going through the same treatment and tests in Owen’s new secret facility, it still surprises Eddie how easily Steve can read people. More specifically, how easily he can read him of all people. “Just got lost in thought,” Eddie confesses while making his way back to his room as he sees Steve squint at the lights in the living area.
Steve steps out of the way as Eddie brushes by him and closes the door. He hope it’s enough honesty to end the conversation.
“What were you thinking about?” Steve asks, ignoring the signals Eddie is giving him.
Eddie sighs and runs a hand over his face and climbs back into his bed, quick to pull up the blanket around himself in an attempt to get some much needed warmth while simultaneously covering his scars from Steve. “Stuff.”
Steve rests his hands on his hips for a second and stares, mouth opening and closing for a moment before deciding against whatever he was going to say. Instead, he climbs into the bed with Eddie and joins him under the blanket, keeping enough distance so they’re not touching, but they can still feel each other’s body heat.
Eddie glances over at him, noticing the way the one lamp turned on in the room gives him a nice golden halo. He looks gorgeous and untouchable - exactly how Eddie used to think of him through high school and sometimes even now. The perfect golden boy. But despite the name Eddie gave to him years ago, he can’t ignore the flaws that Steve possesses, yet they somehow make him even more perfect to him. Or maybe just human.
Eddie shakes his head and glances away. He wishes Steve came over to smoke so Eddie could blame the drugs on the way his thoughts race when he’s next to him. Instead, he has to face up to his enormous crush on the perfect golden boy.
“Have any plans for Valentine’s Day?” Steve asks out of the blue.
Eddie snorts and glances at him, only to laugh harder when he sees the adorable look of confusion on his face.
Steve’s brows furrow but the edges of his lips quirk up. “What?”
Eddie pulls a strand of hair in front of his face to try to hide his wife smile. “Kind of random, don’t you think?”
Steve rolls his eyes. “I never said I was great at starting conversations. But I was just thinking about what holiday is next.”
“The worst one,” Eddie complains.
Steve turns toward him. “And why’s that?”
Eddie sighs and let’s himself go on a tangent. “It’s the one day of the year where people feel like they have to do all this shit for their partner, and the rest of the year, they think they can just get by doing the bare minimum. And people are left realizing what it would be like if their ‘other half’ actually put in an effort day to day. And then for all the single people, it’s a day where love is shoved in their face, and they have to feel bad and sometimes disgusted by all the public displays of affection going on around them and… I just hate it all. The stupid chocolates in the red heart boxes and the teddy bears and big heart shaped balloons and roses…”
“I didn’t realize you had such strong opinions about Valentine’s Day,” Steve says with a laugh.
“Well, now you do.”
They both sit in the silence for a few moments, Eddie thinking about all the other things he didn’t even touch on about Valentine’s Day that he hates, while Steve is probably taking in everything he just said.
Steve bumps his shoulder and asks, “So, I’m assuming that means you have no plans.”
Eddie laughs. “That’s what you got out of that?”
Steve shrugs and looks away with a smile.
Eddie glances at his clock and notices it’s technically Thursday now, and in these early hours, Steve will usually either silently fall asleep or he’ll lay awake in the silence until one of his thoughts has to make itself known.
Either way, Eddie knows he’ll be up for a few more hours, but he’s never regret the sleep he’s lost since they’ve made this silent arrangement.
The bed shifts, and Eddie follows Steve’s lead, laying down fully and staring at the ceiling, trying his best not to reach out for the hand laying beside his. He wonders if he should add something to the ceiling like some type of mural with stars and whatnot.
He tilts his head to the side, envisioning how it would look in the lamplight since he and Steve refuse to sleep in the dark. Or maybe it’s just Steve and Eddie’s picked up on the habit of leaving the lamp on.
“Do you think you’ll make plans?” Steve asks quietly.
Eddie turns to look at him, at a lost for a moment before realizing he’s still on the Valentine’s Day subject. He smiles sadly, “No.” Steve glances over at him and holds his gaze, expecting more. Eddie sighs and gestures at himself. “I mean, I’m not exactly what people want to bring home to their parents at the moment plus with the,” he gestures to his face and drops his hand quickly, averting his gaze back to the ceiling.
He hopes Steve will let it go and not connect the dots back to earlier.
A silence settles between them, but Steve’s gaze burns into the side of Eddie’s face. Then, he finally asks, “Is that what distracted you earlier?” When Eddie doesn’t answer he continues, “I saw you looking in the mirror, and I know you usually go out of your way to avoid them.”
Eddie wants to question how Steve noticed, but he doesn’t want to get his hopes up about something that was just passively rather than intentionally observed. “Yeah,” Eddie states simply.
The bed shifts as Steve turns on his side to fully face him. “And you really think you can’t get a date because of them?”
Eddie sighs and rubs both of his hands over his face. “Steve, who is ever going to love me like this?” He turns and continues, “Privately, yes, someone could maybe get past the scars. But in public? You really think someone is going to be proud to say, ‘Here’s my boyfriend,’ and show off me?”
“Yes,” Steve says instantly as if he has no doubt in the world.
Eddie turns away, trying not to get choked up about it. Because how can he explain to him that while it’s nice that Steve has that confidence in him, Eddie wants Steve to be the one to be proud of him. To want him like that.
“Do you think my scars make me unlovable?” Steve asks.
“No! Jesus, Steve,” Eddie rushes to say and turns to him. He reached out and lays a hand over his side, feeling the way the skin puckers under the thin t-shirt. “These are metal as hell. Hot even. They make you more lovable if anything.”
Steve grabs Eddie’s hand and slowly pulls it off his side to hold it up, the scar on it being presented out to Eddie. “And this doesn’t make you more lovable?”
“Steve…” Eddie protests quietly as Steve pulls his hand close to stare at it.
“The scars you got protecting us. You think those make you less lovable?” Steve asks, pulling his hand close enough that his lips ghost over the skin.
Eddie lets out a breath that sounds like Steve as Steve presses a soft kiss into the tough skin. He stares at Eddie with a worried look in his eyes as he whispers, “Too much?”
Eddie shakes his head, too stunned to get the words out.
Steve intertwines their hands and pulls Eddie’s arm toward him. “These scars,” he says kissing the next one on his forearm, “Are beautiful on you.” He moves on to the scar on his elbow stretching to his bicep, lips trailing against the sensitive unmarked skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. “How could anyone hate these?” He asks leaving three soft, lingering kisses before shifting on the bed to hover above Eddie, still holding his hand but now against his stomach so he can press a kiss against his shoulder. “These scars show everyone what you were willing to sacrifice for us.”
As Steve moves to the scar on his neck, Eddie’s head drops back, giving him more access as he groans out, “Steve.”
“These scars,” Steve says, kissing up his neck over and past the scars, “Are exactly,” he murmurs as he kisses past his jaw and peppers kisses up his cheek, “Why I love you,” Steve finishes by pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth near where the scar that Eddie traced earlier ends.
Eddie glances up at Steve as he hovers over him, trying to make sense of everything he’s saying until it finally clicks. “You love me?” Eddie asks.
Steve nods and squeezes his hand before letting it go so he can lightly caress his cheek. “I have since you decided to be a hero and sacrifice yourself. Which was exactly what I told you not to do by the way.”
“I’ve never been great at following rules,” Eddie breathes out and reaches a hand up to run through Steve hair. “Steve?”
“Mhm?”
“I love you, too,” Eddie confesses.
Steve smiles and asks, “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Eddie says. He pauses before adding, “You know, one time when I was little, I captured a squirrel and it may have attacked me and left a scar on my lip.”
Steve laughs. “Is that so?”
Eddie smiles and nods.
Steve’s eyes dart down to Eddie’s lips and he moves his thumb to swipe over his top lip. “You know, I think I see it.”
Eddie debates telling him that it was actually his bottom lip, but instead he just breathes out, “Steve.”
“Yeah?” Steve asks with a teasing smile.
“Steve.”
Steve keeps smiling as he hums, “Hmm?” When Eddie huffs, Steve fakes surprise with a gasp, “Oh. You want me to find the picture for you!”
Eddie groans, “Steve!”
“Uh huh?”
Eddie huffs and cups his face. “You are infuriating.”
“Is that s-”
Eddie interrupts him by taking matters into his own hands and leaning up to kiss him. He feels Steve smile against his lip before finally kissing him back.
Steve pulls away and breathlessly asks, “So, do you think you’ll have plans for Valentine’s Day now?”
Eddie’s head thumps back on the pillow. “Oh my god.” Steve laughs. “Oh my god!” Eddie says and shoves Steve off of him only to roll over so he hovers above him. “You were trying to ask me out this whole time?”
“No, I just wanted to know your opinion of Valentine’s Day.”
Eddie gives him a light punch to the arm and smiles wide as he stares down at Steve, lying beneath him in the golden lamp light. His perfect golden boy.
“I still hate it by the way. Even if I have plans now,” Eddie comments seriously.
“Don’t worry, I’ll put in the effort year round for you and make sure to keep you away from the public that day,” Steve says running a hand through Eddie’s curls before tracing it down the scar on his cheek in a way he thought no one would be able to do - lovingly.
Eddie leans down and gives Steve a quick peck. “I’ve also got some scars on my hips I might want you to check out.”
Steve laughs loudly and pulls him into a kiss that truly makes Eddie breathless, all while tracing his hand over the scar on his cheek. And for the first time, Eddie learns to love the scars adorning his body.
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0/10 he called me a sweet summer child in one of the regenerated responses
(Jk 11/10 THIS IS PERFECTION)
Eki Eveland bot !
Please do reblog and show me how your interaction with the bot HAJHAJAHAJAH
JUST A BIT IS FINE, I'M CURIOUS !
#nijisanji en x reader#nijisanji en#nijisanji x reader#nijisanji#luxiem x reader#luxiem#halo; reblog#halo; vtubers#halo; random shit#eki eveland#ike eveland
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