#halo; random shit

[centuriantalevevo]

https://www.mediafire.com/folder/uonclguhip1kw/LIVE

Shhhh

(@fakesimp @sh12pen-bookfan )

[centuriantalevevo]

What a fucking chad. Toxic and fragile masculinity existed far before our time to the point that boys got their feelings hurt when a woman was better than them at anything.

I wish they'd get offended at women being better at raising and giving birth to kids than they are. That'd be even funnier.

my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

[centuriantalevevo]

When Ike thinks you don't know Swedish so be uses swedish pet names and shit so you don't know, but you're learning Swedish and also have an Ivy to tattle on him so he doesn't ACTUALLY win-

Ike: says something in swedish

Reader: replies in butchered swedish

Ike: surprised Pikachu face

[skill7spark04]

The Halo Bible Abridged:

Here's the entire halo bible abridged: "the precursors invent all life in the universe because "we bored lol" and thus life evolves and exists. from these lifeforms sprout the forerunners, who are big simps over the precursors, wanting to also become god. Then, while nothing interesting happens in the universe, humanity evolves into existence, expanding faster than their big forerunner brother. They are more chill and kind and less childish and fanboying than the forerunners. This will be important later. Eventually, the precursors want to retire from being gods, so they all hold a vote on whether humanity or forerunners get the mantle of responsibility (literally godhood). humanity wins unanimously, cause no one likes a kiss-ass, and the forerunners throw a tantrum about it, eventually murdering the Precursors. (meanwhile humanity: "OOH! SPACE DOG!") humanity eventually asks where god went and the forerunners said they left to get milk, and left them in charge of the godhood. humanity was distraught by this news, knowing what getting the milk means. Meanwhile the primordial, the last precursor, malds and seethes for so long that they catch fire and burn to death, creating what would be come to know as cocaine. Humans discover this strange substance and their dog IMMEDIATELY sniffed it.

 because it made their dogs virtually immortal, they proceed to administer this to all the space dogs. Then, a week later, all the dogs get sick at the same time, and turn into gross zombies that then start the walking dead in space. humanity successfully ALMOST contains the flood, but then they shoot an infected forerunner ship. This causes the Didact to blow a fuse and mald so hard he has no hairs left. The forerunners, being petty children, proceed to nuke humanity back to the stone age. literally. Then the Didact proceeds to turn most of them into e-boys, until his wife stops him with the master ball, and then locks him in the pc with her shiny gyarados and green mewtwo. The forerunners, completely lost without their general, get their shit rocked by space zombies, who also convinces their robots that murder is ok using a brand new tactic never seen before: GASLIGHTING! The forerunners start losing so bad, they decide if they can't live, no one can. so they put all living creatures in giant freezers, (including the flood, stupidly,) and set the microwave to defrost in 30 billion years, before creating giant rings to divorce the galaxy from life. this starves all the space zombies, (except the ones in their emergency meat locker) and save the galaxy. eventually, life thaws out and humanity evolves for the 3rd time ever, and then the events of the books and the games and terminals happen. that is the halo bible, abridged by yours truly."

[smokehalos]

some sketchy saw stuff or whatever

i’ve always been a fan of most of the sets and most of the trap designs so i wanted to get around to quickly sketching some of those out

i might end up rendering these in sometime soon but that’s only if any of you would be interested in it or not. in the future i’d like to draw adam’s dark room and a few more traps

(ignore the last one i got lazy and didn’t finish so im leaving it off like that for now)

[doom-dreaming]

Halo 2 Anniversary - Another Day At The Beach

[centuriantalevevo]

NSFW

Why can't I be tag teamed by Ike, Ivy, and Eki?

We also need more Eki x Reader fanfics.. specifically NSFW...

And Ivy x Reader, I haven't seen any but maybe cuz I'm not actively searching yet.

I just wanna be raised by Ike and Eki while Ivy smothers me with her booba or thighs bro 😭 that's all I want in life

[crowcryptid]

Reaction image master post

[terry-the-insane]

My favorite g/t trope is when T is scared of falling off high places even though being really small means your terminal velocity (maximum speed at which you can fall) is greatly decreased and T could probably fall off the roof of a 5 story building and only get scratched.

[witchie-writings]

Y/N: *Screams* Jerome: *Screams louder to assert dominance* Alice: Should we do something?! Douglas, observing: No, I want to see who wins this.

Y/N: Listen, I can explain... Jerome: You’re making $500,000 and you’re only gonna pay me $30,000? Alice: You’re getting 30 grand? I’m getting $1,000! Douglas: You guys are getting paid?

---

Alice: Why are Y/N and Jerome sitting with their backs to each other? Douglas: They had a fight. Alice: Then why are they holding hands? Douglas: They get sad when they fight.

---

Y/N: I think we're missing something. Jerome: Teamwork? Alice: Cohesion? Douglas: A general sense of what we’re doing?

---

Y/N, setting down a card: Ace of spades Jerome, pulling out an Uno card: +4 Alice, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you Douglas, trembling: What are we playing

---

Y/N: You know those things will kill you, right? Jerome, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point. Alice, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process. Douglas: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

[akaluan]

Tanya the Evil always gives me Emotions when I try to read it, which does make it harder to get thru each book despite how much I love it, but I think I've made a Mistake by trying to read it while listening to Sabaton's "The War to End All Wars" album.

Y'all, I hit the song Versailles while reading Tanya's internal monologue about the cost of war while she was in the mop up of Operation Lock Pick. Y'ALL, when I say I had Too Many Emotions to continue reading, especially while on an airplane surrounded by strangers, I mean I had SO MANY EMOTIONS.

[biomecharnotaurus]

Did you know about ONI. Because I did not.

[crusaderguy]

Just wanna know how others perceive me.

[emmavakarian-theirin]

quality halo moment

[centuriantalevevo]

Erotica sounds about right but where the hell is my breeding mf

curious about what’s in store for you for 2023? :D

let AO3 decide!

(this is a random generator that will give you four (4) ao3 tags, so you know, warnings for what that usually entails)

[centuriantalevevo]

Yeah, Ike has yandere potential especially with Eki

But imagine yandere Reader?

Especially going after Eki?

He's almost arrogant because he's so confident in his abilities. He never saw it coming*

But suddenly he's locked away in someone's house and they're deranged

But also perhaps calm... they're crazy but not Yuno Gasai crazy. They have Yuno Gasai potential, but they're so calm and confident that he WON'T leave. Not that he can't, but he WON'T. They'll make sure.

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