#I have today and tomorrow OFF OFF and me and peachy are doing writing dates

[rebelwrites]

It’s Me Or Her? - Part One

Clay Spenser x Reader

A/N: I’ve had this idea buzzing around my head for a little bit but don’t worry there will be a part 2

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Clay Spenser Masterlist

This Months Writing

“Yo Y/L/N” Sonny grinned appearing in the doorway of your cage.

“What” you glared looking up from your phone, you knew what he was going to say.

“You haven’t told me if you are going to the bbq tomorrow” he smirked, leaning against the metal. “So you coming or what?”

“I don’t have a choice do I?” You asked.

“Nope I was just being polite asking, if I have to come to your house and kidnap you I will” he grinned.

“Will she be there?” You hissed.

“Well considering she is Clay’s girlfriend and it’s our before deployment bbq yes she will” Sonny nodded, he knew just how much you hated her, and he also knew that ever since she got with Clay you felt like you lost your best friend and also he knew about your feelings for him.

“Great” you said sarcastically, moving your gaze to the door as the rest of the team strolled in.

“Watch out lads, Princess is in a mood today” Sonny laughed quickly changing the subject.

“When isn’t she” Ray winked as he fist bumped you before going to his cage.

“You might be 2IC Perry but I will drop you like a lead balloon” you smiled innocently.

“What’s up?” Clay asked standing where Sonny was just moments ago.

“Nothing, I'm just peachy,” you said, rolling your eyes as you stood up. “Anyway, what do you care?”

“Because you’re my friend” he said with a sad smile on his face.

“Yeah friend” you scoffed barging past him and headed for the door.

“Oi moody where are you going” Jase shouted as you hand touched the handle.

“For a piss and a smoke” you snapped. “Don’t worry I will be back in time for training”

It took Bravo team a while to adjust to having a female on the team but they eventually came around so they all knew how to handle your moods but they were getting a bit concerned with the tension that was bubbling away under the surface between you and Clay. Jase sighed as he pulled Sonny to the side.

“I’m guessing it’s something to do with tomorrow” he whispered.

“Yeah, we are gonna have to keep an eye on her make sure she doesn’t flip out” Sonny whispered.

“Maybe her and Clay need to have it out before we leave, otherwise it’s gonna be a long 3 months” Jase sighed.

“Either way I have a feeling there’s gonna be a fight tomorrow” Sonny whispered. “It’s really starting to get to her now even though she tries not to show it is”

“I actually thought I was going to have to kidnap you” Sonny laughed as he pulled you into a hug.

“Yeah well I considered bailing but things could get interesting” you laughed grabbing a beer out of the cool box, as you brought the bottle to your lips Jase draped his arm over your shoulder.

“I hope you are gonna be on your best behaviour tonight” he smirked.

“I mean when do I ever behave Jase” you smirked looking up at him.

“Just don’t start any fights, okay” he whispered, kissing the top of your head.

“No promises” you shrugged, wiggling out of his grasp to go find Cerberus.

The moment you flopped onto the grass you saw Clay and Jenny walk into the garden, you didn’t realise you growled until Cerberus nuzzled his snout against your cheek.

“I know buddy” you whispered kissing his nose. You really didn’t see what Clay saw in her, she wasn’t the type of person to hang around with rowdy tier one operators, in fact she was the person to date one just so say she dated a Seal. I mean who wears six inch stilettos to a god damn bbq.

All you wanted to do was punch her in the face, but you knew everyone would be keeping tabs on you tonight so you decided to stay out the way, the way you were feeling right now it was the safe option.

Your peace didn’t last long as Sonny came over and literally flung you over his shoulder.

“I swear to god I will stab you asshole” you growled as he carried you through the garden.

“Stop being an unsociable demon then” he laughed dropping your on your ass in the middle of the group.

“You better sleep with one eye open in J-Bad” you growled looking up at him “I’m coming for you Sonny Quinn”

“Give it your best shot Princess” he winked before going back to the grill.

Sighing in defeat you pulled your phone out , connecting it to Blackburn’s outdoor surround system, scrolling through your playlist you were looking for one song, a song that you knew would cause shit but you needed a good fight. Standing to your feet you went to join Jase, Ray and Sonny around the grill whilst pressing play on the song.

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend (That's right) No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend. Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me. No way, no way, you know it's not a secret. Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

“Please tell me you didn’t just put this song on” Jase sighed as he realised the song you put on that was now blasting out loud.

“Don’t know what you are on about” you shrugged “I just put my playlist on shuffle”

“Give me strength” he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Dude it’s just a song chill out” you laughed.

“Yes but it’s the meaning behind the song and you know it” Ray sighed.

You're so fine, I want you mine, you're so delicious. I think about you all the time, you're so addictive. Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright? (Alright, alright, alright, alright)

“Look I’m not going to do anything so chill out” you nodded looking around the garden, making eye contact with Clay. You always had flirty banter with him until he got with Jenny, she instantly took a disliking to you, didn’t like how close you were with Clay. Your eyes were still locked as you sang along with the song. “Don't pretend, I think you know I'm damn precious. And hell yeah, I'm the motherfucking princess. I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right”

In a way this was your way of admitting your true feelings to him, it was ironic that you wasn’t afraid of being the first person through the door but when it came to your feelings that scared the fuck out of you.

She's like so whatever. You could do so much better. I think we should get together now. And that's what everyone's talking about. Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend. No way, no way, I think you need a new one. Hey, hey, you, you, I could be your girlfriend. Hey, hey, you, you, I know that you like me. No way, no way, you know it's not a secret. Hey, hey, you, you, I want to be your girlfriend

“Whatever happens you have my six right?” You asked looking up at the boys.

“You know we always do” Ray said, squeezing your shoulder. “Just don’t do anything stupid”

“Come on this is me we are on about Ray” you laughed sipping your beer, watching how Jenny realised you and Clay were still holding eye contact across the garden and you could literally see steam coming out of her ears. “But if she wants to start fucking let her”

“That’s what I’m worried about” he sighed “we don’t need you banged up for this deployment”

“When do I ever lose a fight” you winked before going to mingle with the rest of the team.

The boys couldn’t take their eyes off Clay and Jenny, just waiting for the moment it popped off so they could intervene.

“Deployment is going to be fun” Sonny said with sarcasm laced in his voice.

In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger. 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better. There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking? In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger. 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better. There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinking?

Before you knew it you felt someone pulling your hair making you scream at the sudden contact. That was it, you saw red, you ignored the pain from Jenny’s grip on your hair as you managed to get out of her hold, without even thinking your fist connected with her face, so hard you felt it crack making your smirk.

“Don’t ever try to sneak attack a Seal bitch” you spat as she clutched her nose.

“Y/N what the fuck” Clay snapped rushing to Jenny’s aid, “you fucking broke her nose”

“Oh did I?” You shrugged, rolling your eyes.

“The fuck has gotten into you recently, this isn’t you” Clay shouted as Trent took Jenny to go see to her nose.

“Oh that’s fucking rich coming from you” you growled, squaring you with Clay with your fists balled at your side.

“I don’t know what youre talking about” Clay growled back, your bodies pressed together.

“Well how about ever since you got with her , you never hang with the team anymore, you bail on us all the goddamn time. Or how about when I needed my best friend because I was having a hard time with some news I got but you blew me off because you had plans with her” you screamed as the hot tears ran down your cheeks. “Or when the weight of the last fucking op was near enough crushing me to the point I nearly left the fucking team, you didn’t even notice because you are never around. So much for being my best friend and having my six”

“Come one Y/L/N” Jase said in your ear as he wrapped his arms around your waist pulling you away from Clay.

“I didn’t know” Clay said, softening his tone.

“Like I said it’s because you are never around” you screamed as you thrashed in Jason’s grip. As Jenny appeared next to Clay, wrapping her hand around his arm. “You know I was moments away from spilling my heart out to you last deployment but stopped myself because you’d never feel anything for your best friend despite the years of flirting”

“Baby she’s just jealous” Jenny whined.

“Bitch I can show you jealous if you want” you growled as Jase picked you up taking you further away from the situation.

“Walk it off” he snapped as he put you on the ground.

“Why should I?” You snapped.

“Just fucking walk it off Y/N” Jase snapped before dropping his tone. “Please just go calm down”

“Fine” you huffed grabbing the bottle of whiskey off the side when he let you go.

As you were taking yourself for a walk to try and calm down you heard Jenny ask Clay a question that you weren't sure if you wanted to know the answer to so you started sprinting to get as far away from them as possible.

“You gotta choose Clay, it’s me or her?”

@chibsytelford @mrsmarvelous1995 @supervalcsi @talicat713 @disasterfandoms @bravo-four-seal-team @jasonbabymama @jayhalsteadfan-2417 @lotsoflovefromlea @seik-o @ohitsnicolexo @velvetcardiganbucky @phoenixhalliwell @pancakeisreading @itsonautopilot @pinkrockstar19 @galaxysanduniversesinmymind @softi92 @abby-splace

[kimistorm]

Tomato Face [Nathaniel x f! Reader]

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

Pairing: Nathaniel x F!reader

Warnings: None

AN: Experimental epistolary writing!

Dear Diary.

Nathaniel Kurtzberg is the prettiest boy I have ever met, and nobody can convince me otherwise. Not even Adrien Agreste. He is also an insanely talented artist. Even if he doesn’t believe he is. And...he just happens to be the one person in the entire school who stole my heart. He is just, so wonderful to be around. He’s so sweet and kind. Okay, so I’m crushing on him. So what? It’s not like he likes me. He never could. Could he? No, stop, stop getting your hopes up. Why would he like me? I’m just, normal. I don’t run a famous blog about Ladybug like Alya. I’m not loved by everyone in the school like Marinette. I’m not sweet and adorable like Mylène. I’m not rich like Chloe. Okay, maybe not the best comparison. I wouldn’t want to be like Chloe. I’m not an artist like Alix. Yeah, those two would get together. Both of them are artists. They’d do art together. Me? Well, I just like to vegetate and binge watch Netflix and YouTube. Maybe I could become a superhero! Like Ladybug and Chat Noir! Maybe then I’d have something interesting in my life. I’d be able to practically fly around Paris saving people. People would love me! I’d be a hero! But then...what if I didn’t have the time to watch all of Jacksepticeye’s videos? That’d be so bad! Miss Bustier told us to read Le Petite Prince and to compare that to the movie. Ugh. I don’t want to do this. It’s a book for children! Well, I’m going to binge My Hero Academia.

(y/n)

To: This notebook that is definitely not my diary,

(y/n) is really nice. Pretty. Wonderful. Kind. Lovely. What is a crush? Is it normal to get butterflies in your stomach whenever you walk by a person? Why is my face always red whenever I’m near (y/n)? Why is it that I want her to notice me, but at the same time, I don’t want her to notice me because what if she sees me doing something weird and concludes that I am weird? Is it weird that I want to draw her? But what if she notices me staring at her? That’d be so awkward. It’s not like when I draw Ladybug. I don’t have to stare at Ladybug to draw her. I can just look at a picture, but with (y/n)...what if I took a picture of her? Then used that as reference? No, that’s even weirder. Then I just have a random picture of her on my phone. What if she sees? She’d definitely think I was a weirdo. Maybe Alix would know the answer to all of these questions. She’s a girl. No, that’s a bad idea. I don’t think Alix has a crush on anybody. She wouldn’t know. Why is human interaction so hard? It’s not like a drawing where you can plan out what happens and if you make a mistake you can erase it and it’s gone. Is this a crush? Is this what they call loving someone? But who wouldn’t like (y/n)? She’s got a beautiful smile. She’s very pretty. She’s very nice and kind to everyone. She’s almost like an angel. Oh….

Nathaniel

To: This notebook that is definitely not my diary,

Mayday! Mayday! I told Alix about my feelings for (y/n), I don’t know why I did it. It just happened. We were talking and it just-AH! Good news, Alix didn’t laugh at me. Bad new, Alix called me “whipped.” She said that I’m totally head over heels for her and that I should tell her how I feel, but how am I supposed to do that? I’m nowhere near (y/n) in the day. It’s always been from afar. Watching. Oh no that sounds like I’m a stalker! She definitely thinks I’m a weirdo now! She’s some ethereal being, no way I could approach her. Maybe I could talk to one of her friends. Yeah, that would work. But, if I’m near one of her friends, what if I accidentally spill how much I’m in love with (y/n) and they tell her and then she thinks I’m a weirdo! Maybe I’ll get Alix to talk to her. But then, what if she thinks I’m a jerk because I don’t even talk to her? What if she thinks that I think that I’m too good for her? No way, she’s way out of my league. There’s no way she could like someone like me.

Nathaniel

Dear Diary,

What if I cosplayed Bakugou? Maybe then I would get off of my butt and do something. Nathaniel has been acting weird lately. Not that I’m stalking him or anything. He’s just been avoiding me, and I’m pretty sure he’s consciously doing that. Since we passed each other in the hall today and when I said hi, he turned around and walked the other direction without saying anything. Did I do something wrong? It hurts. Here I am, harboring this insane crush on him, and he’s ignoring my presence. I need to get over him. There’s no way he could like someone like me.

(y/n)

TO: THIS NOTEBOOK THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT MY DIARY,

THIS IS BAD THIS IS BAD THIS IS REALLY REALLY BAD. FOR SOME REASON, AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY, NINO GOT ME COFFEE THIS MORNING. BUT I DON’T DRINK COFFEE. AND SO THIS ENTIRE DAY I’VE BEEN AMPED UP. I COULDN’T EVEN DRAW ANYTHING I WAS SHAKING SO MUCH. IF THIS IS WHAT CAFFEINE DOES TO ME I DON’T NEED IT. THEN, AT THE END OF THE DAY, I SOMEHOW HAD THE COURAGE TO GO TALK TO (Y/N). FACE TO FACE. WHO IS THIS PERSON? I DON’T DO THAT. WAS THIS COFFEE SPIKED WITH ADRENALINE OR SOMETHING? BUT THAT DIDN’T HAPPEN! I WAS WALKING OVER TO HER, AND CHLOE SUDDENLY APPEARS OUT OF NOWHERE AND I TRIPPED. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I TRIPPED OVER BUT THE NEXT THING I KNOW MY LIPS ARE SMASHED AGAINST CHLOE’S LIPS AND (Y/N) SAW! WAIT, NOT JUST (Y/N). EVERYONE. EVERYONE. EVERYONE. EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL SAW! IT WAS ON THE FRONT STEPS! OF COURSE EVERYONE IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL SAW! AND YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? I RAN. OBVIOUSLY I RAN! I NEEDED TO GET OUT OF THAT SITUATION! IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING! I DON’T EVEN LIKE CHLOE! WHAT DO I DO?

NATHANIEL

Dear Diary,

Well. Today was just peachy. I saw Nathaniel on the front steps of the school practically eating Chloe’s face, and, well, my heart shattered. I didn’t think Nathaniel was that bold. Tomorrow everyone’s going to know how the two of them are dating. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up.

(y/n)

“H-hey, (y/n).” You looked up to see Nathaniel awkwardly approaching you.

You tried to brace your heart, “h-hi.”

“So, you uh, I’m sure you did, you saw the uh, thing that happened on the, uh, front steps yesterday.”

“Yeah.” You answered carefully. The boy in front of you was avoiding your gaze, and it made you wary.

“That was all, uh, a mistake. Yeah, a mistake. I don’t like Chloe. At all. It was, I, I don’t even know. One moment I was, I was, trying to talk to, to you, and then she was there, and then I tripped, and then I was kissing her.” He stammered, “not that I wanted to!” he then shouted in a panicked fashion. “It was an accident.”

“Why are you telling me?” you asked carefully. Your heart was starting to rise in anticipation, but you shook your head. You weren’t going to get your hopes up again.

“BecauseIwantedtoaskyoutogoonadatewithme.” He mumbled under his breath.

“W-what?” did he just say what you thought he said.

“I was on the front steps of the building that day becauseIwantedtoaskyoutogoonadatewithme!” he shouted.

“I…what?” you still couldn’t understand what he was trying to say.

He took a deep breath and asked the floor, “do you want to go on a date?”

Your heart soared, “that thing with Chloe, it was all just an accident?” you asked shyly.

“Yeah.” He murmured, and your heart pieced itself back together.

“H-hey, Nathaniel.”

“Hm?” he asked and looked up from the floor to you.

“I’d love to go on a date with you,” you replied happily and leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips that left the two of you blushing redder than Nathaniel’s hair.

“Ugh!” a voice shouted from the end of the hall and the two of you whipped around to see Chloe standing angrily. “I can’t believe you two still got together! Even after yesterday!”

“Way to ruin the moment.” Nathaniel muttered.

“Come on, let’s go.” You took his hand and the two of you walked away from Chloe.

To: This notebook that is definitely not my diary,

She loves me! She’s not mad at me. She doesn’t think I’m weird. We’re going to go on a date together. Nothing could get me down. Cloud 9. I think that’s what it’s called. I’m on Cloud 9.

Nathaniel.

Dear Diary,

Today was fantastic. Yesterday was all just a misunderstanding. It was just Chloe being Chloe. But he likes me. He actually likes me! We’re going to go on a date together! Today is a wonderful day.

(y/n)

“Do I look good?” Nathaniel asked worriedly as he looked at Adrien and Nino. Alix was busy at a skating competition, but she sent him best of luck.

“‘Course you do!” Nino smiled.

“Maybe I should change jackets.” Nathaniel worriedly looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing his normal purple pants, a white button-up, and his normal gray jacket. “It’s too normal.”

“If you were wearing something fancier, it’d look like you were going to prom.” Nino blurted out, but Adrien elbowed him, “I mean! You look great already!”

“There’s no need to get too fancied up,” Adrien smiled, “now come on, if you don’t get going, you might be late to pick her up.”

“Oh no!” Nathaniel panicked.

“Hey, don’t panic,” Adrien told him soothingly, “look, you’ve got your phone, you’ve got your wallet, you’re good to go. You’ll make it with time to spare.”

Nathaniel took a deep breath, “thanks guys.”

“No problem. Now go!” Nino shooed Nathaniel.

[cherryrogers]

➸ call me baby {3/3}

BROOKLYN

pairing: bucky barnes x reader | biker au

warnings: Swearing, smoking.

word count: 8k

synopsis: Returning to Brooklyn for the summer after a year of travelling from city to city, you hadn’t expected to find your best friend, Peggy Carter, hopelessly in love with a biker. And when she decided to introduce you to the rest of his club, you hadn’t expected to fall for one either. That was until you met one with pretty eyes and a habit of calling you baby.

series masterlist

a/n: jfc,,, i can’t believe i’ve finally finished writing this lmao i’m sorry it took so long my dudes. thank you to everyone who has shown support for this fic, and i hope you all enjoy the final part !!💛

“I’m going to miss having you around, _____. It’s been nice having another girl here who isn’t afraid to put a shitty customer in their place.” Wanda smiled, handing you a white envelope with your final salary enclosed inside.

Folding the envelope and tucking it into your jean pocket, you chuckled heartily. “I think you and your pistol will do just fine without me. Thanks for having me here for the summer, Wan. I wouldn’t even be leaving if it wasn’t for this job.”

Her grin widened as she pulled you into a warm hug. “There’ll always be a job here for you — summer, winter, any time you need it.”

After you’d said one final thanks and goodbye to Wanda, you exited the bar doors for the last time and crossed the sidewalk to where Peggy was waiting in her car for you. In a matter of hours, you’d be spending the night in Brooklyn one last time, and your summer would be over.

Initially, you were expecting a couple of months solely spent with your best friend. Lounging on shimmering sandy beaches, drinking wine and laughing till dusk in your backyard, listening to her harp on about her dreamy new boyfriend while you rambled about all the places you’d visited. You couldn’t have imagined it to be more different than it was. Sure, you had done all of that with Peggy, but she wasn’t the only one that’d shaped your summer. Following the motorcycle ride at five in the morning with a certain biker, you’d only grown more attached to each other. He couldn’t ever keep his hands off you, and you couldn’t ever bring yourself to leave the clubhouse after a day spent with him. If the rest of the club ever caught on to yours and Bucky’s affair, then they never mentioned it. You were sure that was because of Peggy. She knew it was better to leave you be, considering Bucky was the first person you’d opened your heart to in a long time.

Some days were spent simply in his bedroom, wearing nothing but a pair of underwear under his silk sheets, constantly switching between telling one another about your lives, your childhoods, passions, fears, and stripping out of your little clothing and letting yourselves completely give into each other. Some days were spent wandering the streets of Brooklyn hand in hand, Bucky showing you all the alleys and parks he’d found Steve attempting to fight guys twice the size of him, you pointing out the diners and stores you used to drag Peggy to on the weekends in high school. Every day was spent getting to know one another though, and every day spent with Bucky was never a day wasted. The only down side to every moment your were with him was that they’d only add up to it hurting even more when you inevitably left, and that time was arriving very soon.

Peggy drove you home from the bar to collect your packed backpack and suitcase before bringing you down to the clubhouse for the rest of the night. She teased you about going soft since you’d gotten close to Bucky, wanting to spend your last night with your summer love as she called him. The girl received an unimpressed glare for the comment, but what she said wasn’t exactly untrue. If you’d told yourself a year ago that your summer in Brooklyn would find you all starry-eyed for a biker you’d only just met in June, you would’ve likely pushed aside any plan to return to the place at all. Peggy would forced your ass back to Brooklyn, of course; perhaps there would’ve always been something that led you back to your hometown, to him. Christ, you were getting soft.

There was a crease between your brows as you retrieved the envelope of cash from your pocket and gently ripped it open in your lap. It felt a little... thicker than it usually was — more than what you normally earned from a week’s worth of work. As your eyes met the wad of green bills inside, they widened in shock. Yep, definitely more than your usual salary. Way more to just be a mistake on Wanda’s part.

The large sum of cash even caught Peggy’s eye from her place in the driver’s seat. “Wanda must’ve really taken a liking to you. Perhaps doubling your salary is a plea to make you stay.”

A breathless laugh escaped your lips as you ran your thumb over the edges of the bills. “If it is, that girl knows exactly what she’s doing. Maybe travelling isn’t my true calling after all.”

While they was a playfulness to your tone, you couldn’t help but notice the brunette’s smile falter at your words. Peggy was like you in a way; she wasn’t soft, often being as upfront and stubborn as you were. However, she didn’t like opening up to people about herself all that much. Not that you were necessarily thriving in that department either, but when it came to Steve, she’d said it’d took her a while to even mention her brother’s passing to him. He hadn’t known she even had a brother before Peggy brought it up a long while after they’d began dating. Peggy possessed a lot of self confidence, and she had every right to do so. Being vulnerable and open just tended to put her at unease, and when you caught her acting a little off, it took some gentle coaxing to get her to open up.

“Are you okay?” You offered her a comforting smile, to which she didn’t quite return.

“Peachy,” She replied half-heartedly, hands tightening on the steering wheel. Glancing briefly at you, she spotted the crinkle in your brows and your pursed lips. Seeing as you never took your eyes off her, she sighed. “What is it?”

“Peggy, I don’t know how long it’s gonna be before I see you again. If something’s up, please tell me.”

Her tongue hesitantly ran across her bottom lip, fingers readjusting on the steering wheel. “It’s nothing, really. It’s just... I didn’t realise how much I’d missed having you here. I know it’s selfish, but I’d be lying if I said I was excited to see you off tomorrow.”

You shuffled in your seat, turning to face your friend more directly. “It’s not selfish, Pegs. Of course you don’t want me to go, I’m the shining light of your life—”

“_____...”

“Sorry, I know I’m annoying. Can’t help it,” You apologised, internally cursing yourself out. One serious conversation. You can have one serious conversation, come on. “I mean it, though; I don’t think it’s selfish. If you were jetting off to London tomorrow, I’d feel the same— oh, red light!”

The car came to an abrupt stop in front of the traffic lights, your seatbelt pressing tightly against you chest. Before you could reprimand your friend and tell her that putting you in hospital isn’t a viable way to stop you from leaving, she was turning to you with a surprised stare.

“You’re going to London? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I mean, I actually just made the decision five minutes ago, but yeah, I’m going to London.”

Peggy let out a disbelieving laugh. “You haven’t even booked your flight yet?”

“I didn’t even have the money to go an hour ago!” You exclaimed. “But with all this cash from Wanda, I think I’ll be able to make it there. I’ve been travelling the US for a year now, Pegs. I wanna go somewhere new. Somewhere fresh, the land of milky tea and buttery crumpets. I can go to the Queens house—”

“You have a lot of nerve saying all of this to someone who was born in England.” She glared softly, pressing her foot down on the gas when the green light appeared.

An amused smile crept onto your lips. “Hm, I will need someone to Facetime twenty four-seven to tell me all the places I need to visit, preferably English and born in London...”

“So you’ll talk to me solely because my nationality is of use to you?”

You rolled your eyes. “I might miss you a little bit too.”

“Thanks.”

“It’s hard being without you too, you know,” You spoke more seriously, catching Peggy slightly off guard. “Travelling is great and all, but some days I do wake up in my motel room and wish I was back home, spending the day with my best friend.”

While her eyes were still focused on the road, a warm smile was clearly pulling at the brunette’s lips. “Just... don’t stay away for too long this time, okay?”

“You’ll see me again before next summer, I promise.”

“Hm, I’m going to need that in writing.”

“I’ll even record a video for you; I’ll buy a tripod, get some good lighting, one of those fluffy microphones—”

Peggy cut you off with a hearty chuckle, dark, conditioned curls bouncing as she shook her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I’m actually going to miss your ability to make a joke out of everything.”

You scoffed, placing a hand on your chest in mock shock. “Christ, now that is something that needs to be in writing. I’m hiring us a lawyer, he can draw us both up contracts.”

“Dont forget to book your flight first.” Peggy chimed in.

“Right, I have a lot of things I need to do today. Bucky’s gonna have to give me a minute before he can have me to himself... and I’ll need to lend his computer.”

As your gaze averted to the passing by buildings out of the car window, Peggy grinned contentedly to herself. She could see exactly why you’d been the one Bucky had really fallen for, though she couldn’t help but wonder how he’d handle your departure to a whole other continent.

However, you’d promised you were coming back soon, and there wasn’t a doubt in Peggy’s mind that he’d be counting down the hours once you stepped onto your flight.

* * *

“London, huh?” Bucky’s voice caught your attention as he entered the office, a beer bottle in each hand.

As you confirmed the booking of your flight for the next morning, you swirled around in the cushioned desk chair, taking one of the bottles once the man had approached you. “Did Peggy spill the beans already?”

“Heard her talkin’ to Steve in the garage,” He pressed his own bottle to his lips, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Doesn’t seem like five minutes since you first arrived, when you came into the backyard in those little black and white shorts.”

Standing up, you shot him an eye roll. “I’m sure that’s all you can remember from that day, perv.”

“What do you remember then?”

You hummed, leaning into Bucky as you let his arms envelop your waist. “I remember wondering why everyone was wearing leather jackets in eighty degree weather. Oh, and that I thought you were a dick.”

The biker didn’t seem offended in the slightest at your statement, only grinning and pulling you closer. “Hm, and what about the day at the carnival? Wasn’t that a good day?”

“No, I had to endure you flirting with those girls in front of us in the drop tower line. I was almost sick before we even got on the ride.”

“Oh, that?” He let out a laugh, cheeks faintly tinting pink. “I was only trying to make you a little jealous. Seems like it worked.”

You scoffed. “It did not work,” It definitely had worked.

“You liked when I held your hand on the ride though, didn’t you?”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“You know what? Fine. I did,” You admitted, eliciting a smug smile from Bucky. “But I’m only admitting that ‘cause I’m leaving tomorrow. Don’t think I’m going soft on you.”

He ran his tongue along his lower lip, leaning closer to speak against your lips. “Wouldn’t be stupid enough to dream of it.”

Smiling in satisfaction, you moved an inch closer and let his lips meet yours, a warm feeling emerging in your chest. The kiss remained gentle as your fingers pushed some of his hair away from his face, before you pulled back reluctantly to breathe. Blue eyes pierced into yours after fluttering open almost hazily.

“Would it be stupid to ask you to stay?” Bucky asked quietly, though he knew the answer already.

A weak nod and an empathetic smile; you pecked the corner of his lips before stepping back completely as if you suddenly felt you’d been standing too close. Bucky had never seen you holding your tongue, but that seemed to be what you were doing as you put some distance between the two of you.

There was an uncomfortable silence, the warmth from your body dissipated and replaced with an aching coldness. Perhaps telling yourself all summer that you could worry about yours and Bucky’s future at the end of August was a terribly bad idea, because now it was hitting you — maybe there’s wasn’t a future for the two of you at all.

“I’ll wait for you, you know.” The biker’s voice broke the quiet, the words slicing through you.

“I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, Bucky. I don’t think I can ask you to do that.” You breathed, meeting his eyes hesitantly.

“You’re not asking me to, I want to,” He stated, worrying his teeth over his bottom lip. “Unless... that’s not what you really want?”

Truthfully, the idea of Bucky seeing anyone else once you’d left made your stomach turn. In an ideal world, you’d like it if he was just yours. Only yours, because you guaranteed that there wasn’t anybody else that could make you feel the way that he did. But you couldn’t force him to wait for a girl that strayed away from their hometown for longer than they stayed, no matter how much it’d end up hurting you.

“It wouldn’t be fair, Bucky, to either of us. We can’t really be together when I’m only gonna come back for the holidays—”

“Was this just a summer thing to you?” He questioned, a mix of regret and frustration flashing in his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have asked that, but some part of him was oddly curious to.

Your previously calm expression turned sour as you furrowed your brows and scoffed. “You’re—you’re kidding, right? Did you just— of course it wasn’t just a summer thing to me, you asshole.”

Admittedly, it hurt that he’d even had the nerve to think that. You’d asked him if you shouldn’t have started something together that inevitably was going to end and he said he didn’t regret it. While being together could technically only last for the summer months, it wasn’t just a fling. There were feelings there that you weren’t going to be able to shake off, memories that were going to be carved into your mind forever. Did he seriously think that it was all just temporary on your part?

“Then would staying really be so bad?” Bucky retorted. What he was saying was only making you angrier, but he couldn’t help but be honest. Perhaps it just hadn’t hit him that you were really leaving in less than twenty four hours until that very moment, and everything that left him mouth was coming from a deep place of, well, sadness.

You shook your head in disbelief. “You’re being selfish.”

“Aren’t I allowed to be? We’ve spent a whole summer together and this time tomorrow you’re gonna be thousands of miles away from here—”

“And you don’t think I’ll be hurt either?” You intervened, cocking a brow. “You think I’ll be skipping through the airport utterly thrilled to be leaving you?”

Bucky was silent, too silent for too long. You scoffed, ignoring the way he was biting down in his cheek and the faint glossiness of his eyes in your annoyance. “You knew I was gonna have to leave eventually, Bucky. If you knew weren’t going to be able to accept that... then you never should’ve asked me to stay that night.”

That night; no further explanation was needed to identify which of the many nights spent together you were talking about. It was that night when you fell inexplicably hard for Bucky, when you decided that you might never have the chance to fall in the way you’d fallen for him ever again and that you’d only regret not staying the night. Not letting him strip you of your clothes and shed his own, not letting him make love to you, not letting him wake up to you admiring his every feature. If he knew he wouldn’t be able to let you go so easily, then having you stay that night was purely unwise of him.

When Bucky didn’t you respond one again after a few moments, you sighed deeply, crossing your arms over your chest. Though your expression had softened, your tone was still rather cold. “It’s never been just a fling with you, and if after all the damn time we’ve been spending together you thought there was a chance I might’ve thought that, then maybe you don’t feel the way I thought you felt about me at all.”

The biker’s features fell as he watched you chew your bottom lip and stalk towards the door — doubting his feelings for you was the last thing he wanted you to do. He let his boot collide with the bottom of his desk in frustration as you shut the office door behind you.

He hadn’t meant to start a dispute. It was your last god damn night in Brooklyn, of course he didn’t want to spend it receiving the cold shoulder from you. You’d probably gone out and found the rest of the guys, perhaps even went to drag Peggy aside to tell her how much of a dick he’d just been, which he’d understand. He had a feeling you wouldn’t do that though; instead you’d go out and pretend everything was fine because you wouldn’t dare let anyone know that he’d managed to hurt your feelings — always so stubborn.

Relationships were not Bucky’s forte. It’s not like he’d ever been looking for one; he was still young, he had still wanted to have fun for a little while before finally settling down like his mother had been bugging him to since he’d moved out. While he wasn’t the type to sleep with a girl and never call them again, he wasn’t exactly the type to, well... sleep with a girl and do anything else with them. He hated the talking stages of a relationship, despised them with all his being. Everyone he knew insisted that he had to get through them to actually have a deeper relationship with someone, but he really just couldn’t will himself to do it. So when there didn’t seem to be a weird talking stage with you, he was pretty happy about it.

It wasn’t like he was forcing himself to try and develop a connection with you, he’d hardly been interested in dating anyone when you’d first arrived. But then it all happened so naturally and now look at the two of you — well, you were mad at him and he was standing in the office alone like an idiot.

He knew better than to follow you outside and try to play friendly with you in front of everyone else. Giving you and himself a bit of time to cool off and think, Bucky took a shower upstairs in his bathroom. The longer the hot water pelted his skin, the more he felt like an asshole for what he’d said to you. He couldn’t just ask you to stay for him, that was wrong for a start. That was definitely selfish. Accusing you of thinking it was just a fling too? Christ, what was he thinking? He didn’t actually think that you thought of him as a fling, he just stupidly asked that in the heat of the moment when he was frustrated that you one hundred percent didn’t want to stay.

Maybe he ought to get out of the shower before he steamed up the whole clubhouse and make things right.

As Bucky neared the bottom of the staircase after putting on some clothes and towel-drying his hair, he bumped into Steve, who seemed to be heading towards the living room.

“Hey, Buck. We’re starting a movie soon. _____’s just finishin’ her cigarette out back; you two joining us?”

Bucky plastered on a smile, shaking his head. Perhaps he sounded selfish, but watching a movie with everyone wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to spend his last night with you. “I don’t think so, man. Another night.”

“Suit yourself.” The blond patted his friend’s shoulder before allowing him to scoot past him and head outside.

The sky was a deep blue, the sparse, grey clouds almost bleeding into the dark hue as the stars began to peek through the dusky blanket. A single garden lamp lit up the area, just about showing your figure sitting on the picnic bench that’d never been replaced since they’d moved into the clubhouse. Between your parted lips rested the remains of a cigarette, smoke twirling through the slight breeze that’d picked up once the sun went down.

You didn’t flinch as Bucky slid onto the bench next to you, and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander back to when the two of you had met. At that time, he was sat in your spot exhaling clouds of smoke, not knowing who you were when you first walked outside. Fast forward to now and you were exactly where he was all those weeks ago, except now he wasn’t sure what he was going to do without you.

“You mind if I take a drag of that?” He spoke up suddenly, suppressing a smile at the way you paused in your actions.

While you didn’t offer him the stick between your fingers, your loosened grip on it silently gave Bucky the permission to pluck it out of your hand into his own, which he did. After taking a long drag of the cigarette, he stubbed it out on the ashtray to his right before turning his attention to you.

“I know we aren’t a summer fling to you. I- I know how you feel about me, because I feel the same way.”

Bucky felt himself relax a little as you faced him, no longer staring off into the night. A slight frown pulled at your lips; he didn’t like the sight. “If I was going to stay for anything, or anyone, it’d be you, you know.”

Not sure what to say, the biker only gave you a nod of acknowledgment, taken aback by the statement. He wasn’t sure whether it was a compliment or something he shouldn’t be happy with.

“There’s a difference between me wanting to stay and wanting to be with you,” You bit down on your bottom lip. “I don’t wanna stay, but if you asked me... if you asked me to stay again to be with you, I probably wouldn’t get on my flight tomorrow.”

Breath hitching, Bucky narrowed his eyes. “You’d stay if I asked you to again?”

The look in your eyes was enough of an answer. If he asked you to stay, you’d say yes. Yes to waking up beside him during the colder fall mornings. Yes to motorcycle rides to anywhere and everywhere. Yes to never having to worry about how much time you have left together, because you’d stayed; you weren’t leaving Brooklyn anymore.

Saying yes to that however, would mean saying goodbye London, to travelling. Exploring different cultures, trying new food, experiencing a part of the world you never thought you could reach as a child. No more reading in motel rooms until midnight. No more tours around cities with a camera wrapped around your neck. No more living the life you’d been dreaming of since you’d barely started middle school — you weren’t ready to let go of that just yet, and Bucky didn’t have to read your mind to know that.

“I’m not gonna ask you to stay again,” He declared, prompting you to raise a brow. “I’m not gonna be a jackass and make you stay if that’s not what you wanna do.”

To his joy, your frown slowly curled into a soft smile. “I know your heart’s in the right place, Buck. That you weren’t trying to start an argument. And— and I can’t stop you from waiting for me if that’s what you wanna do. I’ll be back at some point, but I just don’t want you to put your life on hold for me, you know?”

“I wouldn’t be puttin’ it on hold. I wasn’t planning on finding someone I— I liked so much ever, really. I don’t know if it’ll happen again,”

Your heart — it was going to explode. Who knew you’d ever meet someone that had the power to make you feel so... disgustingly lovesick.

“...unless you happen to take a liking to a London boy while you’re there...?”

You chuckled, a warm sound amid the cool night. “London, Paris, Berlin... none of those boys will ever come close to the one I have in Brooklyn.”

A wide grin spread across the biker’s lips. “Who’s the sap now, huh?”

With a playful eye roll, you couldn’t help but place your hand on Bucky’s jaw, caressing it with your thumb as you leaned in and captured his lips.

He reacted immediately, putting a hand on your outer thigh to pull you closer to his side.

Wherever you were in the world, you’d always have Bucky in Brooklyn — he hoped that you didn’t doubt that.

* * *

Too many mornings spent lazing in Bucky’s bed meant that reality hadn’t yet set in after a few minutes of being awake. It was so natural at this point, to wake up and feel the warmth of him next to you, to have your legs tangled with his and to feel his nose grazing against the back of your neck.

Turning around in his arms, you leaned in and laid a kiss on his nose, smirking at the way he scrunched it in response before pinching at your bare hip. You smacked his hand away before settling your head back against the pillow, gazing at him through your lashes.

“Have I ever told you beautiful you are?” You asked without a second thought.

Heat evidently pooled in Bucky’s cheeks, and you rested a hand on the side of his face before he could roll himself over to hide his embarrassment.

“I’m serious.” You pressed.

“I know,” He grinned, voice raspy with sleep; he knew you never lied to him, you were as honest as they got. “And no, you haven’t told me.”

“Well, now I have. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen.”

“Shut up.”

“Never.”

Bucky sighed, tracing a hand down the curve of your back. He could keep you there forever, laying so close to him and calling him beautiful. If someone would’ve told him at the start of the summer that this was where he’d be by the end of it, he would’ve laughed in their face. “Where’d that come from, huh? You’re being scarily nice.”

“I’m trying to be sentimental, jerk.”

“Oh, right,” He smirked. “Just like last night when you told me to fuck—”

You interrupted him with a finger pressed to his lips. “I think that was pretty sentimental in its own way, actually.”

“Uh-huh,” Bucky kissed your fingertip gently. He had a feeling you were being a little softer than usual since the circumstances of the day were different. You weren’t sure when your next moment like this would be, if there ever would be one. Truthfully, there was an ache in his heart that was caused by that thought too. He sighed, almost sadly. “What time’s your flight?”

“Eleven.”

“Well, I think that leaves us enough time for me to show you how beautiful I think you are...” He trailed his hand lower down your spine and followed the curve of your ass.

You smirked, glancing over your shoulder to the small clock sat on the bedside table. It was nearly nine. There was just over an hour until you had to be at the airport...

“Thirty minutes, then we have to get up. Peggy will be up and banging on the door for us otherwise.”

“More than enough time, baby.”

That was a lie, however. It wasn’t nearly enough time, because once the two of you finally pried yourselves out from underneath the sheets, it hit you that that was the last time in a long time that you’d wake up in Bucky’s bed. The last time you’d be able to have him so close to you. It made you wonder what life would’ve been like if you met him before you first left to travel. If you’d fallen for him that hard so long ago, would you even have left Brooklyn in the first place?

You both took your time getting dressed, you tossing on a tank top and some leggings from your packed suitcase while Bucky put on his signature biker attire. He smugly asked if he could keep a pair of your underwear as a memoir; you told him to go fuck himself before planting a kiss on his lips. It was amazing how quickly he could switch between acting like a dick and being a sweetheart. You’d miss that, admittedly.

Everyone was eating breakfast in the kitchen when the two of you made it downstairs, the sound of your suitcase thumping against the steps signalling your presence. It was rare that you and Bucky ever saw the morning outside of his bedroom in the clubhouse, and that was proved by the raised brows and mock gasps you recieved when you entered into the room. You rested the suitcase against the doorframe as Bucky strided towards the counter, clearly eyeing the half-full pack of cigarettes placed on there.

As he reached for them, Steve looked up from his bacon and eggs, a frown pulling at his lips. “Hey, you can’t just smoke and call it breakfast.”

“I haven’t had breakfast for months,” The brunet snorted. “Don’t think it matters that much.”

“Have some coffee at least?” Steve pushed.

Cocking his brow, Bucky glanced over to you in hope of you having his back. It wasn’t like you’d had breakfast since before summer either, but you weren’t going to let the guy smoke for breakfast. Not when everyone else had a hot meal and the scent alone was making your mouth water.

“How about we get something at the airport?” You offered, strolling over to the seat next to Peggy and sitting down.

“You’re not going the airport so soon, are you?” She asked, sipping her coffee.

“Well, my flight leaves in two hours—”

The brunette almost choked on her coffee, prompting Steve to gently pat her back as she recovered. “Two hours? Oh my— why are you sitting down? We need to go—”

“Would you calm down?” You chuckled, placing a hand on Peggy’s forearm as she started to rise from her seat. She was right, though. You were cutting it very short by still being at the clubhouse when you wanted to grab some breakfast too. You moved your gaze to Bucky. “I mean, maybe we should go now...”

While he looked reluctant to nod, Bucky did so anyway, grabbing the keys to his motorcycle from his designated hook on the the wall next to the light switch.

“Hey genius, how am I gonna put my suitcase on your bike?” You furrowed your brows, grinning as the realisation hit him.

“Uh...”

“Bucky can take you on his bike,” The blond perked up, standing next to his girlfriend. “Peg and I can take the jeep with your suitcase.”

Looking to your best friend for permission, you smiled when she gave you a sure nod. She knew how much it would mean to you if your were able to ride with Bucky one more time. “Go on, we’ll be right behind you.”

After thanking her, you grabbed your suitcase and said your goodbyes to those sitting around the table. Though you didn’t speak to them as much as you’d wished you had, you’d still miss them. You all shared the same sense of humour, having a laugh with them was easy when you spent the day with the group, even when you were all simply lazing around the clubhouse. You gave each of them a quick hug, rolling your eyes when Clint told you to ‘have a right good time in London’ with a horrible English accent.

Bucky lead you out of the house, handing you a helmet and kissing the crown of your head quickly before climbing onto the bike. He didn’t say anything as you got on behind him, enveloping his waist and comfortably setting your chin on his shoulder. With every passing moment, you could tell that he wasn’t looking forward to finally waving you off at the airport. Usually when he was getting grumpy, you’d make a stupid comment about it and it seemed to cheer him up; it didn’t feel right to do so in this instance.

So as the the bike roared to life, you turned to look at the clubhouse. The place where you’d spent the majority of your summer, where you’d met everyone, where you’d met Bucky, where you’d kissed him for the first time, done other things for the first time. It’d become another home to you in a way, like a place you’d always be welcome back to. You hoped you’d always be welcome there anyway, even after being gone for months on end once you stepped onto your flight.

It’d barely taken thirty minutes to get to JFK Airport, Peggy’s jeep only a few cars behind you as you wound through the streets of New York. Bucky noticed when you didn’t start cussing out the bad drivers that were practically skimming the side of his bike like always, your head never leaving its place against his back. It was unlike you, but he didn’t mind. Perhaps like him you were just savouring the moment, the last ride you’d have for a while. Christ, Bucky had never felt so many emotions at once. He didn’t know whether to fall to his knees and beg you not to forget him or to kiss you passionately and tell you he’d be waiting for your return. To maintain his dignity, he decided against the former option.

Almost too fast for your liking, you arrived just outside of the entrance, climbing off the motorcycle reluctantly and spying the jeep just coming to park behind you. It wouldn’t be able to stay parked there for long, and you felt an ache in your chest as you saw Peggy stepping out of her car, Steve not far behind her pulling your suitcase along.

He handed it to you with a smile which you returned as you took it from him. Setting it beside you, you let out a sad chuckle upon realising how glazed over Peggy’s eyes were.

“I’m not about to cry, before you say anything,” She stated, plastering on a grin. “It’s just allergies.”

“Allergies my ass,” You smirked, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around her neck, grinning into her shoulder as she hugged you back tightly. You spoke again, this time more quietly next to her ear. “I love you, okay? And I won’t hesitate to fly back here and beat Steve’s ass if he does anything, I swear.”

Truthfully, you didn’t think Steve was capable of hurting a fly, never mind the smartest, kindest, most gorgeous woman you knew. However, Jay-Z was capable of cheating on Beyoncé — Beyoncé, so being a little sceptical of any man you met wasn’t unreasonable, in your opinion.

“I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” She chuckled. “You just focus on looking after yourself, alright?”

“Right,” You responded. “And... you’ll keep an eye on Bucky for me, won’t you?”

It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Bucky, or that you wanted a daily report of what he was up to while you were gone. You just wanted to know that he was going to be okay. Being apart would be hard on both of you, but you’d been doing the ‘being alone’ thing for over a year now, and you had a feeling that there was more to how he felt about you leaving than he was letting on. Even when he said he wasn’t going to ask you to stay again, you still felt like he wasn’t as okay with the situation as he was acting to be.

“Of course I will, Steve too,” The brunette assured you, giving you a final squeeze before beginning to pull back. “I love you too,” She sighed, returning to her place stood next to Steve. “Right, you know where you’re going after you arrive, yes? If not, you can call me and I’ll give you directions to the motel. If you’re hungry I know there’s a takeaway place just outside of the airport—”

“Pegs, I’ll be fine. I’m going to London, not Narnia.”

“Just— just be safe, okay?”

“Can’t make any promises.”

“_____—”

“I’m kidding! How about you learn to take a joke while I’m gone, huh?”

You smiled as Peggy rolled her eyes in amusement. Perhaps she wouldn’t be as amused if she knew about what happened with Brock Rumlow at the bar. You decided you’d tell her in London when you were in a whole other continent, otherwise she might not have let you leave in fear that you’d be getting into more trouble at English bars with assholes like Brock. Even if you did, Peggy knew you weren’t soft, you could handle yourself. She just worried that you were a little too unafraid of confrontation.

Turning to Bucky and picking your suitcase back up, you have him a slight tug on his hand. “We should probably go for breakfast now, I’ll be boarding soon.”

He nodded, offering to take your suitcase and rolling his eyes when you made a comment about him being ‘such a gentlemen’. You gave the blond a quick hug, warning him to take care of Peggy and grinning as he teased you about being more like her mother than her best friend, before saying a final goodbye to the two of them, giving your friend’s hand a final squeeze and turning away to head into the airport.

There was just over an hour until you had to be on the plane, so you and Bucky decided to head into cafe near the entrance and get a proper breakfast. Two steaming black coffees sat opposite each other on the small booth in the corner you were sat at, complimenting the stacks of pancakes dripping in syrup and sugar that you’d impulsively ordered and that Bucky had insisted on paying for, saying that you should save all your cash for exploring London.

“I’ll probably come back for Christmas.” You said in repsonse to him asking how long you’d be travelling for this time, stuffing a sliced bit of pancake into your mouth.

Bucky furrowed his brows. “Really? You’re not staying away until summer again?”

You cocked your brow, looking at him in the corner of your eye. “Why, do you want me to?”

“Course not,” He smirked, reaching out to swipe a drop of syrup from your lip with his thumb. “I hope that means you’re getting me a Christmas present then.”

A chuckle left your lips. “My return will be your Christmas present, how about that?”

The biker scoffed. “Okay... getting to kiss me when you get back will be your present then.”

“Eh... can’t you think of something better?”

He glared at you playfully, though you felt a little bad making the joke. You knew from the argument the night before that he wasn’t still one hundred percent okay with you leaving. Comfortingly, you placed a hand above his knee over his dark jeans.

“In all seriousness, though— I shouldn’t have told you not to wait for me to come back. If that’s what you really want, I can’t stop you from waiting for me. In fact, just seeing you again will be the best thing I’ll get on Christmas; I know it. Well, unless someone gets me some rollerblades. I always wanted them as a kid but my mom refused since I have issues with ‘being careful’—”

Bucky’s laugh cut you off, rolling his eyes at your attempt at covering up your sappy words with sarcasm. He could definitely understand why you never got rollerskates, however — you did have a tendency to be a little reckless. God knows what you were like as a kid.

“I’d have to agree with her on that one,” He smiled, sipping his coffee. “You have been punched in the face more times than the average person. You never told me about the other time you got punched, actually.”

A chuckle fell from your lips. “You remember me mentioning that?”

“Uh-huh.”

You sighed melodramatically. “I guess we have some time to kill — fine. So I was, surprise-surprise, in some random bar in Chicago...”

The hour you had left before your flight finished soon after you’d told Bucky enough stories from your travels to last him in your absence, and before you knew it, you’d reached the flight terminal.

There was an invisible force tugging at your heartstrings. While you were bubbling with excitement to get on your flight, to explore a whole new place outside of what you’ve always known, you hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to leave what you did know behind. The thought of depending on somebody else, allowing yourself to let their feelings come into play with your decisions, had practically disgusted you only a few months ago. But with Bucky, it only felt wrong to cast his feelings aside.

The biker noticed the change in your demeanour as you neared the terminal, and a smile crept onto his lips. “C’mon, _____ — don’t tell me you’re gonna pussy out on leaving now.”

“Shut up,” You scoffed, elbowing his ribs. “I’m just... thinking.”

“About what?”

It took you a moment to come up with an answer. “About how everything has changed, and how everything is going to keep changing.”

You turned to look at Bucky, whose brows were furrowed. The corners of your lips upturned. “Bucky, nothing in my life is consistent. I’ve always liked travelling because where I am changes all the time, and I never feel stuck anywhere; I always feel free. And with you, I don’t feel stuck either. I want you to be a constant in my life, no matter where I am in the world or whatever else changes in it. I always wanted to get out of Brooklyn ‘cause it never felt like where I was supposed to be forever, but now I know that you’re here... well, maybe Brooklyn is where I’m supposed to end up...”

“...and I swear to God if you call me a sap for that—”

To your delight, you’re not teased for the most heartfelt thing you’d ever said to him, or anyone for that matter, but cut off with a intense kiss. Savouring the feeling, you placed a hand on the back of Bucky’s neck, letting yourself melt into him for one last time that summer. You’d found that Bucky wasn’t necessarily vocal in expressing his feelings, but that didn’t matter. The way he kissed you said more than a thousand words ever could.

After reluctantly pulling away from the kiss, Bucky didn’t let you go just yet. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and held you to his chest, an affectionate action that he didn’t necessarily do so often. Nevertheless, you leaned into him and let your arms encircle his waist, your cheek resting comfortably against his shoulder. This wasn’t the last time you’d be so close to him, you had to keep reminding yourself of that. But you’d never felt so hesitant to leave someone behind since you’d left Peggy the first time you left New York. You found your way back to her, though, and you were sure you’d do the same with Bucky.

“On second thought, I’d be fine if you pussied out of leaving now...” He spoke into your ear, making you chuckle against his chest.

“I’m no wuss, Bucky Barnes,” You moved back from his embrace, patting his jacket. “You’ll see me again soon, don’t worry your pretty little head about it.”

The feminine voice over the intercom informing you that your direct flight to London was departing soon cut your final moments with Bucky short, enabling the both of you to let out a disheartened sigh.

You leaned forward once more, pressing a soft but fleeting kiss to his lips, before giving his hand a squeeze. “Stay out of trouble, will you? At least until I get back?”

“I think I should be the one tellin’ you that,” Bucky laughed, his eyes taking in the curve of your nose and your cheekbones, the colour of your eyes and the softness of your lips; the features he’d had the luxury of waking up to every day for the past two months. Not that he could ever forget how beautiful you are, but he’d be a fool not to take advantage of looking at you properly in the flesh for the last time for a while. “Running away from a fight isn’t a bad thing, you know.”

“Practise what you preach, pal — does that mean you won’t be socking Brock Rumlow in the face next time you run into him?”

“...touché.”

A grin graced your lips as you clasped your fingers around the handle of your suitcase. “Mhm, that’s what I thought. Now, I’ve gotta get going. There might be a fight waiting for me on the plane already — a forty-five year old lady named ‘Karen’ that’s upset she didn’t get the window seat, perhaps?”

“Well, I can’t keep you waiting, can I?” Bucky stuffed his hands into his jacket pockets, watching as you began to walk in the opposite direction to him, the opposite direction to the summer you’d forever hold dear to your heart.

The smile on your face widened, your last words to him falling from your lips before you turned around and headed towards the next part of your journey, which would eventually, hopefully, lead you back to him in the end.

“I’ll see you when I’m back home.”

Home. Where you belonged. Where you’d circle back to when you’d travelled across the world and back. With him, in Brooklyn.

“See you when you’re back home, baby.”

There was a time when you didn’t believe in love. When you thought that those who did were only fooling themselves, and when you once told your best friend that you’d never fall in love. Maybe you’d proved yourself wrong with Bucky.

The reason you’d always told yourself that love wasn’t real was because you never knew what it was, how it felt. However, if it felt like gliding through a sunlit sky with all the time in the world to spare, with all the space around you to explore; if it felt like finding home in more than just four walls and a roof, but in two bright blue eyes and a soul just as carefree as yours (...and a worn out leather jacket...), then maybe you had fallen in love with Bucky.

Perhaps when you returned home, you’d let him know.

-

@dark-academics-and-florals @thefallenbibliophilequote @kimvmarvel @broco8 @domolovee @barnestruck @igotkatiepowers

[crqstalite]

Letters Home.

I made a mistake because this was originally meant to answer a prompt fill and then I forgot about it until now. So I tweaked it, but it still works I think.

I would rather not think about the fact the current majority of writing I've done for Lali and Joker is very angsty. That'll change, eventually, but it was begging to be written so here we are. It's a little shaky since I've written Joker himself maybe a grand total of three times but I'm happy enough with it.

Post-Thessia, minor (major?) character death mentioned. Lali/Joker.

"There's a new Blasto movie coming out, it doesn't look a lot better than the last one, but it'd be great to see with you when you're home again."

Her green eyes are still bright, her grin wide while she falls back on the collection of pillows decorating her bed. Her concerns then must've extended about as far as what was for dinner that evening, or tomorrow's assignment. Blasto wasn't one of her favorites, he knew that every time they'd watched one together, but she'd sat through every single one because it made him happy. Not that she didn't complain the entire time though.

It'd been a while since he'd been fifteen himself, but those concerns shouldn't have included Reapers in them.

"You must know about all the inaccuracies in the movies, huh? With the Council and stuff this has to be hilarious to you."

Joker isn't sure what feeling to name the one that's threatening to consume him while Hilary continues talking, rattling off that week's events. Teachers, classmates, her chores around the house.

The vidmail just seemed so normal. Everything had seemed perfectly fine when he'd checked in on them after they'd left Earth. Maybe that was an overstatement, nothing would've been fine but it was still manageable then. His father and his younger sister had intended to bunker down for as long as they had to, as long as they could while he'd promised them to try and get them off Tiptree. Nothing had seemed off. Nothing had seemed wrong. He thought they'd have time.

Six months later and he'd proved himself wrong. Time was in shorter and shorter supply. By the time he could turn his attention fully back to finding them nearly a week ago to do anything more about their situation, it'd been too late. He'd heard it over the extranet, part the long list of colony worlds flashing red every other hour. His blood had run cold while he'd hoped, prayed he wouldn't find his homeworld among the lost.

The galaxy felt like it stopped spinning when he did. In big, bright red letters, it'd said Tiptree, and he...it'd all felt like a bad dream then. That he'd look back and see it was some other colony out in the Traverse. Not his. It couldn't. It shouldn't have. It was so far outside of normal trade routes that it didn't make sense for the Reapers to seize it.

Yet they'd done so anyway. The last communications had gone out the day prior, and had stretched into silence since then. Where he'd be expecting a call today, instead his missed messages have remained dark. His 'tool won't connect to his father's, or Hilary's.

He almost misses when the door behind him opens, his hand missing the pause button on the video while he scrambles for it. He doesn't get a great glance over his shoulder, but it's enough for him to try and get his emotions back in check long enough to hold a conversation, "Shepard? Look, I'm sorry for what I said earlier."

"You've got the wrong Shepard, actually. I think." If the voice isn't enough to convince him, then the absence of anger in it does when he turns his chair to look at her. Smaller, softer, more concerned when Citlali pauses in the doorway compared to her elder sister. His girlfriend a sight for sore eyes, at least compared to her counterpart, "Sorry for scaring you, if I did.

"You didn't. Just, thought she was making the rounds again. And holding a grudge against your commander doesn't really bode well for you, as I've found." He can't find the energy to add a genuine laugh with the quip, and while Citlali smiles, it's one of the ones that's strained, "What? I feel like Alenko's walking proof of that."

"I guess, depending on how you look at it." She furrows her brow, maybe in thought, maybe in disbelief. He still can't read her very well, though it's not as if she makes it easy. Shaking off the expression, "Do you mind if I come in? You seemed...busy."

While Hilary's vid has gone quiet, he doesn't meet her eyes. The distraction might be better than nothing, even though he'd rather spend his time alone, most likely watching the last handful of mails from the month prior, "If you want to, sure. Did you need anything?"

"No. It's just...quiet around here. Thessia's on everyone's mind and it honestly feels too constricting." The door closes behind her, "If you're worried, Kodelyn's with Liara right now. I don't think she's going to come back up here for a while."

"Oh good. That'll probably give her time to cool off." Refocus her frustration with Thessia back towards comforting, always seemed like it fixed something in her. He might've been out of line, but he hadn't been expecting for her to explode at him like that. It seemed too out of character, and he hadn't been able to accurately predict it. The longer she spent doing anything else was probably extending his lifespan. Shepard wasn't predictable, but she rarely played the stereotype of the short-fuse Commander.

"Cool off?" Citlali quirks an eyebrow, "Was she mad at...you?"

"Surprising, I know."

"Weird. What'd you do?"

"Nothing." He says habitually, then sighs, "I don't know. Rough day for obvious reasons, she wasn't doing so well and I probably didn't make it any better."

"Oh." Citlali cringes, "She wasn't too upset with you, was she?"

"Probably not with me specifically. I just ended up as collateral damage."

"Collateral -- Never mind. She'll probably apologize when she's feeling more like herself. If she ever does." Her tone wavers at that, uncertainty on the other end of it, "Are you okay, though?"

His silence answers it for her. What does he say to that? Fine, only that I found out my home might be ashes and the only family I have left might be gone?

Well, he probably could.

"Sure. Fine."

Her smile's shaky, "Are you really fine, or are you just trying to get rid of me?"

"Never, I love spending time with you. You know that."

"Uh-huh. I'll suspend my disbelief, but only because you're sweet," She frowns at that, padding over to sit in the empty co-pilot's chair, turning it to face him, "If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. You don't have to lie to me though."

"I'm not. Just dealing with...everything. All of us have our off days." The screen blinks when he turns back to it, Hilary's expression still frozen in one of amusement. His chest grows heavy again, this one was dated a day before the Reapers came through. This vidmail, the one like so many others that'd come before it, was one of the last ones he'd ever have of her.

And when he received it, he hadn't thought anything of it. He wouldn't go as far as to say he'd taken the ritual for granted, but he'd thought he'd receive another one. And another after that. He was careful to watch every one, and send back another as soon as he was able. His had gone unread.

"Fair enough." Citlali leans back, blissfully oblivious, "Long day. Maybe way too many things happened all at once."

"You could probably say that again."

"I'll refrain from repeating myself." She chuckles, "Can't wait to get back to the Citadel. The rest this crew needs is probably ticking up towards absurd."

"That bad in your professional opinion?" He asks, "I'd thought we were doing just peachy. Y'know, with the Council trying to absolve themselves of guilt and the galaxy crumbling around us."

"Thank God for night clubs." She responds, leaning back, "It just feels tenser than ever. Can't shake the feeling we're getting towards the end of whatever this is, and it's making everyone jumpy."

"Probably, yeah. Hopefully it'll be longer than a day or two when Shepard's done with Horizon. It'd be nice not running from Reaper forces day in and day out."

"Too exciting for you?"

"Everyone has their limits. just seems like there are more of them than ever lately, and they all want a piece of us." That much is true. The other half is that he wants a chance to search. Search the Citadel, search the surrounding systems. Maybe Hilary would be with the refugees, and he just hadn't found her yet. Maybe she'd lost her 'tool. They'd never been great at remembering each other's codes.

One hell of a time to forget, if she was out there, all alone and surrounded by the unknown.

Citlali turns her gaze towards the front window, then to one of the screens in front of him from what she can see, "Thessia-related matters aside, if you're willing to share, who's that?"

He hesitates, trying to find an answer while his throat tightens around his words. All he can do is send a picture of Hilary over to her screen. She halfway smiles when she receives it, one of her out in the yard during his last leave. Yellow sundress, celebrating the first day of summer, "Friend? Family? She looks just like you. Same grin and everything."

"Family. Younger sister, actually."

"Aw. Looks just like you." Citlali smiles, "What's she like?"

"Like any little sister, I guess." What was there to say? Why is he looking for adjectives to encapsulate the sister he loved, and why is it so difficult, "Smart, kind, practical joker sometimes. Occasionally gets on your nerves, but you love her too much to stay mad."

"As all siblings do. Feel like she'd be fun to have around. Guess you missed out on the curly hair gene, huh?"

"Had it when I was younger."

"Is she looking to follow in your footsteps? A pilot just like her brother?"

The lump in his throat almost doesn't let him answer her, and he plays with the bill of his hat, "Maybe. I don't think she ever really said anything about it."

"Big shoes to fill, I get it." The smile fades slightly when he doesn't follow up on it, "Where is she now?"

His voice is raspy when he tries to talk again, "I don't...really know. I don't know if she even still is."

Her face falls, furrowing her brows once she realizes, "I- Jeff..."

"Evac orders were sent out to Tiptree a couple of days ago. No news since, only that a handful made it...somewhere. Liara didn't say where." The orange lights in front of him start to swim in the water collecting in the corners of his eyes, "I don't even know if she made it offworld."

There's a flood threatening to burst behind his eyes, delicately held back for the last few days just by sheer will. Just the thought of the planet being turned into Earth, Palaven, Tuchanka...hell even what he saw of Thessia turns his stomach.

They didn't live that close to any major city, but they still would've been at risk if they sent any husks out that way. Any of the other grotesque monsters they'd seen lately.

Had she been looking for him? When it'd all happened, had he missed her call while they were in FTL? Just by a split second.

The thought of one them getting their hands on her, one of the sweetest girls in the galaxy who'd done nothing but act as a ray of sunshine in his life, it kills him to think about.

His hands are wet, he doesn't even realize until he hears Citlali's boots against the ground behind him. Her eyes are searching his face when she kneels down next to his chair, holding out her arms halfway in a silent question.

He accepts a moment later, wrapping his arms around her. She hugs him back, a quiet whisper on her lips when she returns the gesture, "I'm so sorry."

The dam breaks.

Big jade eyes that match his, a grin she lamented about every other day. The figurine he'd brought back for her, the Normandy, on her nightstand just in view.

What he'd give to see her again. Hear her voice again.

The galaxy crumbles away, tears streaming down his face.

"I love you, Jeff. I miss you."

[smp-live]

Man in the (Shattered) Mirror Ch. 4

AO3   First   Prev   Next

No TWs for this chapter!

Techno wasn’t too confident in this whole “resurrection” idea.

The writings they were basing themselves on were just so ancient, and vague, that it was hard to have faith in them to be accurate. And Techno, ever the pragmatic, wasn’t too fond of the idea of getting his hopes up over nothing. He’d been burned before, too many times to count.

But Phil had latched onto the idea like a lifeline, and Techno could see how it seemed to reinvigorate him. Wilbur’s death had crushed him, seemingly aged him 50 years, and he gained them all back in an instant at the prospect of being able to see his son again. Techno didn’t have the heart to crush his hopes.

Neither of them were any good at emotions, anyways, Techno being unwilling to express them and Phil dancing around the topic like he did Techno’s sword when they sparred. So he stayed silent, brought Phil meals as he sat engrossed in whatever scripture he was reading, and listened to him ramble on about ideas and theories. Sent him off with a wave and a small smile earlier this morning, despite his own doubts.

They should be going through with it right about now, he mused, glancing away from the historical text he was reading - based on facts and dates, thank you very much - and to the clock. Just past four p.m.

He should go and grab lunch; he hadn’t eaten yet today. The worn hardwood stairs creaked softly as he padded downstairs with the grace of a man who knew exactly where his body started and ended. No use sitting around wondering what was happening in a country miles away. It’s not like he would find out until Phil came back.

So, the last person he was expecting to see seated at his kitchen table was Wilbur.

He stared at Techno like a deer caught in the headlights, doe-brown eyes wide and startled. Skin peachy and flushed, dressed in that tacky 18th-century revolutionary outfit he’d seen hanging on the wall of Tommy’s room in Pogtopia, except this one wasn’t torn and bloody. No, it was crisply ironed, brass buttons gleaming in the sunlight that streamed through the blinds.

“Technoblade?” he asked, shocked, sitting ramrod straight in his chair.

“Wilbur?” Well, he supposed this answered his question about whether the resurrection had worked. Although it didn’t explain the uniform. Or why Wilbur was in the Arctic and not with the rest, in L’Manburg.

“What the fuck are you doing here? No wait,” Wilbur said, scrambling up from his chair and to the window, “where’s here?” He frowned at his surroundings, then whirled on Techno. “This isn’t L’Manberg.”

“No, it-”

“Where’d you take me?” Wilbur accused, hand twitching to his belt for a sword as he stepped towards Techno. He barely faltered when it came up empty. Techno's lips twitched into a quick smile barely tinged with pride. He’d taught him well. “You working with Dream?”

“Nah.” He reconsidered. “Or, wait-”

That was apparently the wrong answer, because Wilbur’s face contorted in rage as he pressed up to Techno. They were the same height, he mused idly, meeting his godson’s smoldering eyes easily. Despite his height and his passion, he wasn’t worried. He could take Wilbur in a fight - he’d done it a hundred times before, after all.

“Where,” Wilbur snarled, seemingly without that same sentiment, “the fuck. Are. The others. I swear, if you’ve touched a single hair on their heads, Blade-”

“Calm down, Wilbur,” Techno said, raising his hands placatingly. Wilbur’s eyes flickered to them then back to his face, squinting. “I haven’t done anything. You’re just a bit confused.”

“I-“

Techno ignored his indignant interjection. “Let’s sit, alright?” he proposed, gesturing to the table. “We can talk. Like civil people.”

Wilbur glowered, but turned and stalked to take his seat. Techno followed, and they simply sat for a few moments, stewing in an awkward silence.

Wilbur looked better than he had, when he’d last seen him. Exhausted, yes, but a more recent, surface-level tiredness, not one that had sunk its way deep into his bones. His hands were calloused, but from guitar playing and gardening rather than weapons.

“Tea?” Techno offered.

“No,” Wilbur snapped. Welp, that was his only conversation starter. What were you supposed to say when your newly-resurrected godson appeared in your kitchen? Scratch that - when he appeared to be from over a year in the past, before he had snapped and destroyed everything he’d worked for?

Luckily for the both of them, Wilbur sighed and sank his head into his hands, rubbing at his temples.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to snap - I... I’ve just been stressed, lately. With the revolution, and all.”

Techno raised an eyebrow at that. “What revolution?” Wilbur looked at him like he was dumb.

“L’Manberg? Didn’t Phil tell you? Or Dream?” he added with a sneer, and that confirmed all of Techno’s suspicions. Gods, they had really somehow managed to bring back Wilbur from over a year ago. How did they even manage that?

“First off,” Techno started, “I’m not working with Dream. I just owe him a favour.” Wilbur opened his mouth to argue but quieted down at Techno’s raised hand in warning.

“Second...” Where did he even start with this? How exactly could he explain... everything that had happened concisely?

Before he could figure out his words, the door slammed open with a gust of wind and a swirl of snow. And in walked Phil, with a hand on his hat and a a bundle clutched in his other arm. Except - that wasn’t a bundle. It was a child, a sleeping child with an all-too familiar shock of brown hair resting on Phil’s shoulder.

Techno’s stomach clenched as he turned around from shutting the door and froze, eyes drifting from Techno himself to his son across from him.

“Phil?” Wilbur - the Wilbur at the table - squeaked, eyes wide in shock. “What are you doing here? Did you- You didn’t tell me you were coming.”

Phil just stared at him for a few seconds before looking away to hang his hat. “Hey, Wil.”

“Phil?” Techno interjected, getting up. “What’s happening? Is that... Wilbur?”

“Wait- what the fuck?”

“Yeah,” Phil said, wings slumping. “Look- I’ll explain in a minute. Can you get Wil - this Wil - to bed?” he asked, turning to Techno while running a hand gently through the kid’s hair.

Techno rolled his eyes, (soft old man,) but made to take Wilbur from his father’s arms. The kid shifted as he was transferred from one grip to another, and Techno tried to shush him as he walked up the stairs, as softly as he could. He stayed quiet until he was laid in bed.

“Tec’no?” he mumbled, lifting his head and blinking at him blearily.

“Yeah, kiddo, it’s me. Now go back to sleep or your father’ll have my neck,” Techno said quietly back, tucking a blanket tightly around him - Wilbur didn’t sleep well otherwise. The kid didn’t respond, sinking back into slumber, and that was fine by him.

Now, time for answers.

As Techno padded back down the stairs, voices drifted up.

“What the fuck do you mean, it’s January?” Wilbur asked.

“I mean,” Phil answered calmly and there was a clattering of mugs, “technically you’re in the future. Not for us, but for you.”

“About a year and a half,” Techno added as he walked into the room. Both father and son turned to look at him, exhaustion on Phil’s face and distress on Wilbur’s.

“A year and a half?” he asked, so broken and scared. Then, strengthening himself up from the moment of vulnerability, “did we win? The war, I mean.”

“Yes,” Phil said, sitting down and pushing a mug of steaming tea in front of Wilbur and one for Techno, “you did.” Wilbur’s ecstatic grin was enough to make Techno take a sip of his tea to hide his own smile. His godson’s joy had always been contagious.

“We won? We won! That’s bloody fantastic!” He nearly leapt out of his chair in excitement. “Tell me- how was it? How long did it take? Can we go see - actually, scratch that - why are we not in L’Manberg now?”

“Wil, mate,” Phil started, then sighed, wings slumping down, “a- a lot happened between then and now, and...” He trailed off, unwilling to voice it. So Techno decided to make his life a little bit easier.

“You died,” he said simply.

“I- what?”

“You died.”

“All three times?”

“Mm-hm.” Techno nodded, taking another sip from his mug. Wilbur just gaped, speechless for once in his life at the news.

“We tried to resurrect you,” Phil said, finding his voice again. “It... kinda worked? I mean,” he gestured at the Wilbur across the table, “case in point. But... Ghostbur’s still around. And there’s not just you - the Wilbur upstairs came back, too, and,” his voice cracked as he locked eyes with Techno, “Wil right before he died.”

“Oh,” Techno said. That... wasn’t good. Not for the server, finally at peace with L’Manburg gone, and not for Phil.

Wilbur before he died had been a destructive force of chaos, uncaring of who or what he hurt as he spiraled. Sure, it had helped Techno, as their goals at the time had lined up, but now? He just wanted to be at peace in his home in the arctic. Farm a little, maybe read some books.

If he was back, and in that same state of mind, well... Techno shuddered to think of what he might do to that peace.

Wilbur - Wilbur across the table - frowned, eyes flitting from one to the other. “Care to explain?”

“I’d rather not,” Phil said, “Not right now. We have no reason to believe it’s only you three that came back, and I- I don’t want to have to explain everything more than once.”

Wilbur considered that for a few seconds, head tilted like he always did when he was deep in thought. “Fair enough.”

“Besides,” Phil continued, “I’d rather someone else explain. I don’t know the whole story. You were a bit sporadic in your letters, mate.”

Wilbur winced apologetically. “Sorry.”

“Eh,” Phil waved a hand around as if to brush it away, “it’s fine. Anyways, we agreed to meet at Eret’s castle tomorrow to discuss.”

“Wait - castle? Why does Eret have a castle?” Wilbur asked. “Isn’t he a part of L’Manberg?” Oh, this wasn’t good.

“Wil,” Phil started, sympathetic, then seemed to think better of it. “nevermind. For tomorrow.”

“For tomorrow,” Wilbur echoed. “Right.”

He looked lost, hands cupped around his steaming mug of tea that clouded up the brass buttons adorning his uniform, in much the same way his eyes clouded as they stared blankly at the cabinets. Lost as in his whole world had been uprooted in just a few instants.

Which was fair; this was a lot to take in, even for Techno, and he wasn’t the one who found himself in the future where he was supposedly dead.

“Alright,” he said, getting up with a clap of his hands. That was enough emotional conversation for today. “Wilbur, I have a book on historical politics you might be interested in? To distract yourself for now?”

That seemed to jolt his godson out of his state, the life returning to his eyes. “Y-yes, of course,” he stammered out, following Techno to his feet. “You know me so well, Blade.”

Techno rolled his eyes as he clapped Phil on the shoulder. “You’re welcome to come join us,” he told him. Phil just nodded tightly with a wan smile, hands gripping his mug. He wouldn’t be, then.

“Suit yourself,” he said, then led Wilbur upstairs to his room.

-

If someone were to ask Fundy how he was feeling on a scale of 1-10, he’d answer a solid two. Luckily for his pride, though, nobody cared about him enough to ask.

The root of the problem was, of course, Wilbur - when was it not? His father had been the cause of pretty much every bad thing in his life ever since he’d decided to start that Prime-forsaken country. Ever since he’d gone and offed himself on a diamond sword.

He kind of mostly wanted to avoid thinking about Wilbur entirely, if he was completely honest. But both Wilbur’s ghost and Phil wanted him to be resurrected, and so he found himself going along with it. He figured he could make sure his quote-unquote father came back, didn’t immediately ruin everything, and then fuck off and never think about him again.

Except, of course that’s not what happened.

No, of course Wilbur had to fuck up something as simple as coming back to life. He just had to somehow split into different versions of himself. Because of course.

And now, there was an all-too-familiar-looking shape huddled at the end of his docks, the one place he felt at home.

He was wearing a clean white tee with a familiar-looking black cardigan thrown overtop. His feet dangled just above the water, boots shucked onto the planks next to him. Fingers tapped out a rhythm at his side as he stared out over the horizon.

Fundy recognized the melody, of course he did. An old sea shanty his father had twisted into a lullaby he’d sang every night until Fundy protested with a whined, “I’m too old, dad, stop.” He sometimes still found himself humming it, though most of the words had slipped his mind over time, replaced with more important things such as swordfighting stances, cyphers, and how to make sure a drunk man didn’t die choking on his own vomit.

Gravel crunched under Fundy’s boot as he took an involuntary step forward. The tapping stopped. Wilbur slowly turned around, both freezing as they locked eyes.

“Fundy?” his father choked out with glistening eyes. Fundy sighed.

“Hi, Wil.”

“You’re- you’re so big!” Wilbur got to his feet, a beaming smile on his face, and stumbled towards Fundy. He wanted nothing more than to run, to scream get the fuck away from me, to collapse and cry into his father’s arms. Instead, he stayed stock still.

Wilbur took his face in his hands, cradling it gently as he always did. His hand was soft and warm, gentle calluses from hours spent holding a pen or a guitar instead of a sword. Fundy had to swallow down a lump in his throat; it had been easier to ignore how much he missed this when he wasn’t staring it in the face.

But he couldn’t have this, this softness with his once-family. He’d disowned Wilbur, and his ex-father had disowned him back. Had looked his son-in-no-more-than-blood in the eyes and said, with complete honesty, “I despise you.”

That wasn’t this Wilbur, though, so maybe he could allow himself to pretend, for a bit. This Wilbur looked younger. Face rounder, limbs ganglier, eyebags less deep. Stress lines and signs of early greying gone. Little details Fundy wouldn’t even have noticed had he not just seen an older version of him.

He pulled away suddenly, eyes burning with tears, and Wilbur let him go, a concerned expression on his face. Always so fucking concerned. Until it didn’t benefit him anymore.

“Fundy? What- what’s wrong?” he asked, tilting his head slightly.

“Fuck off,” he muttered, rubbing furiously at his eyes with his sleeve. “’m fine.”

“You’re crying-”

“I said I’m fine.” Why wouldn’t he drop it?

“Son-”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” Fundy snapped, and Wilbur took a shocked step back. “You lost the right to call me that a long time ago.”

“Fundy...” Wilbur stared at him, studying, clearly trying to piece together what he could’ve done from the look on his fox-face. Joke’s on him, he’d have to actually know Fundy in order to read him, and nobody bothered to care enough to get to that point. Wilbur of all people definitely didn’t. “What happened?”

"You died,” Fundy said bluntly. He sure as fuck wouldn’t try and soften the blow for his father. “We tried to resurrect you, and you fucked it up. Now, you’re here.” He waved his arm around them. “Welcome back, I guess.”

Wilbur gaped at him. “I- I died?” he asked, breathless.

Fundy nodded sharply. “Yup. Few months ago. Now, if you don’t mind me, I’ll be off.”

“Fundy, wait-” Frantic footsteps sounded on the dock behind him.

“Fuck off." Fundy kept stalking away.

“No, Fundy, please-”

“What?” He whirled around, snarling. “What do you want, old man?”

“Old man?” Wilbur paused, amused smile on his face. “Fundy, I’m barely nineteen.”

Fundy’s blood froze, (his father was the same age as him,) but he whirled back around and kept walking. “Not to me, you aren’t.”

“I don’t have anywhere to stay,” Wilbur all-but-whispered. Fundy didn’t even turn around, this time.

“Sucks to be you. Now stay the fuck away from me.”

[fantastic-bby]

Inked

Pairing: (F)Reader x Mark

Word count: 6.6k (my writing’s starting to get slightly longer owo)

Genre: Romance, soulmate au, Idol!Mark, Non-Idol!Reader

Summary: In a world where the tattoos would be shared among soulmates, Mark uses this to his advantage in an attempt in locating his soulmate. Unexpectedly, his soulmate ends up getting a tattoo that’s completely different than what he would usually get in an attempt to remind him that she exists. Unbeknownst to them, her tattoo is the one that brings them together...

Warnings: None

Playlist: Falling For You - Peachy! || Chocolate - The 1975 || Let Me - Got7 || Page - Got7

Soulmate series: Jaebeom - Strings || Jackson - Bubbles || Jinyoung - Masked || Youngjae - Drawings || BamBam - Footprints || Yugyeom - Pieces

The stinging on your calf was what woke you up. You moved to the full body mirror to see what it was and was shocked to see a large cross forming on your now irritated skin. You scrunch your face in annoyance; whatever tattoo your soulmate would get would appear on your own skin. 

You had already gone through three other tattoos and you felt every second of the needle as the designs were unwantedly inked into your skin. 

You had yet to find your soulmate and it seemed as though they just didn’t seem to bother that their soulmate would have the same tattoos and feel the same pain. It was a bit strange, but the only marks that you two would share were tattoos. Other soulmates would share bruises and feel pain whenever their soulmate would get injured, but not you. 

You only got their tattoos.

The first and second tattoos that appeared were a pair of dates written in roman numbers on your rib cage. You hated the fact that your soulmate chose their first tattoo on one of the most painful places to get a tattoo since you had to experience the grueling pain of it. 

The second tattoo that appeared was the word “Truth” on your inner bicep. You actually admired that tattoo. There was probably a more meaningful story behind it from your soulmate’s side, but you liked it because somehow, it resonated with you. 

This cross that was drawn on your calf was the third. Despite how beautiful the cross was turning out, you were annoyed that it woke you up at 2 a.m. You scolded your soulmate in your mind as you made your way back into bed - being careful not to bump your calf anywhere - and decided to try and sleep.

You woke up in the morning to the sound of your roommate moving around the apartment. 

“Haneul eonnie?” You questioned tiredly when you saw her limping towards the kitchen from her room. 

“Did I wake you?” She asked as she turned to you, “Leo got a tattoo on his fucking foot. It hurts like hell.” She grumbled when she showed the outline of a rose on her foot. 

“Damn,” You muttered out with a yawn, “I have a huge cross on my calf.” You turned around to show her the design. 

“Your soulmate really likes tattoos.” She pointed out as she pulled out a few eggs from the fridge. 

“It seems that way.” You sighed as you made your own way into the kitchen and pulled bacon out of the freezer. “I already have three other tattoos and whoever it is just keeps adding to it.” You mutter out. 

“They’re pretty, though.” Haneul points out as she turned the stove on, “I guess we’re both lucky our soulmates have nice tastes in tattoos.” She chuckles. 

“It might be a bit of a problem since the cross is in more of an obvious place,” You point out as you turn down to look at it, “But I think it’s really nice.” You smiled as you admire the rose design that filled the inside of the cross. 

“Why don't you get a tattoo?” She questioned. 

“I technically already have.” You looked at her in confusion as you gestured to the cross and the one on your inner bicep. 

“No, I mean why not you get one in person. Challenge your soulmate, (Y/n).” She clarified, “Get something simple but in a place they’ll have to look at all the time. Then they’ll remember that their tattoos are projected onto another person.” She explained.

“I’ll think about it.” You nodded. You did think about it. The thought sat in your head for the next few days. It was a good idea to get back at your soulmate for inking themselves constantly and causing you pain and discomfort. 

That led you to looking up small but cute tattoos while you sit in your room with your laptop in front of you. You were looking at an abundance of designs but only one seemed to stand out from the rest. You saved the design into your phone and left your room to see Haneul sitting on her couch with her soulmate - who also happened to be your best friend - Leo.

“I think I finally found a design that I like.” You announced to the two and showed them your phone. Haneul moved forward a bit to get a closer look at it, 

“Cute.” She smiled. 

“It’s simple.” Leo nodded. 

“Where are you getting it?” Haneul asked when she leaned back against the couch. 

“Probably on the collarbone. I don’t feel like troubling them too much with it. I just want to let them know, ‘hey, I’m here’.” You said as you looked at the design once again. 

“Why a paper plane?” Leo questioned as he slung his arm around Haneul’s shoulders. 

“I just think it’s cute.” You shrugged. “I don’t really have a meaning for it. It’s cute, it’s small and I think it’ll be a nice tattoo.” You look away from your phone to look at him nodding. 

“It is cute. But if you guys end up meeting because of this tattoo, let each other know if you’re getting another one.” Haneul grumbled when she glanced over at Leo. 

“I gave you a heads up.” He defended himself. 

“Yeah, while you were getting the tattoo.” She snapped at him. “I think it's a nice tattoo, (Y/n).” 

“When are you getting it? I can take you to the place I got mine.” Leo offered. 

“Really?” You questioned. When he nodded, you smiled, “Are you free tomorrow?”

“What about today?” She suggested. “You’ll be done in no time. It’s small.” She turned to her soulmate who shrugged.

“I’m free anytime this week.” 

“I don’t really want to disturb your together time so I’ll get it tomorrow.” You shake your head. 

“If you get it later, I’ll follow. I wanna see your reaction when you get the tattoo.” Haneul gave you a cheeky smile. 

At the tattoo parlor was where Haneul followed you and Leo. You gave in after a while and just decided ‘fuck it’. Leo drove the two of you into town where the parlor was and you couldn’t help but feel nervous as you looked at the design on your phone throughout the drive. 

“Are you coming in?” Haneul asked Leo when he parked the car outside the parlor. 

“I’m not missing (Y/n) getting her first tattoo.” He snorted as he unclipped the seatbelt. “I know the guy who owns this place so it’ll be nice to talk to him again.” He led you inside the small lot and greeted the man at the counter. The man had a complete tattoo sleeve covering his right arm and what looked like a half finished sleeve on his other. 

“Hyung!” The man’s face lit up when he saw him walk in, the name Han written on a nametag on his shirt. “Getting another tattoo?” He asked but when his eyes moved to the two of you following behind Leo he understood, “Ah, okay. I assume one of them is getting it.” 

“Yeah, Haneul isn’t exactly happy that I got the tattoo without telling her.” Leo chuckled and gestured his head over to Han when he looked at you. 

“This one?” He questioned. You nodded shyly and pulled your phone out of the pocket of your shorts to show him the design. Han looked at it and led you behind the black curtains that separate the rooms. 

“How long will it take?” You questioned as the nerves continued to build up when your brain realised what you were doing. 

“It’s a small tattoo. Probably an hour or two. Maybe less.” He shrugs as he pats on the leather chair. You sit in the chair and feel your palms start to sweat as Haneul and Leo watch you from the door. 

“We can’t join you over there because of a sanitary issue.” Leo informed when he remembered how his own friend had to wait for him when he was getting his tattoo. You watched Han move back and forth at the shelves. 

“No colours?” He glanced over at you when he sat at the sketching table. You bit your lip as you thought about it while looking at your phone. 

“A splash of watercolour behind it?” Your voice came out small when you felt as though the colouring would make it into too much of a cliche tattoo. 

“Alright.” He smiled kindly as he started to sketch out the tattoo. “Do you have any other tattoos?” He asked without taking his attention off of the paper. 

“I have another three but it’s because my soulmate keeps getting tattoos.” You extend your leg out to show him the cross on your calf. 

“Your soulmate seems to have an eye for tattoos or some kind of common sense not to get anything stupid tattooed on them. That’s a really lovely tattoo.” He hummed out as he stood up, “How’s this?” He showed you the stencil of the paper plane. He had added a trail of dotted lines and outlines of clouds. “I’ll colour in the clouds, don’t worry.” He smiled and moved over to the chair that was beside you when you nodded. You pulled down the strap of your tank top to expose your collarbone.

He placed the stencil onto your skin and pulled the paper away to reveal the blue outline of the design before rubbing your skin with numbing gel. 

The sound of the tattoo gun starting only heightened your nerves and your entire body was starting to sweat. Haneul and Leo continued to watch, both with pure amusement plastered all over their faces when the needle hit your skin. 

“Holy shit!” You yelped out. The constant sting of the needle got worse when it got closer to your collarbone and you could feel actual tears pricking your eyes from how painful it was.

“Yeah, the collarbone is pretty painful.” Han chuckled as he continued his work. You glared at Haneul when she started to giggle at you. 

“(Y/n) just has a low pain tolerance.” She snickered at you when you managed to give her the middle finger. 

“It’s not a problem.” Han glanced up at you for a moment. “It hurts more to get the tattoo yourself compared to when your soulmate gets one.” 

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I was thinking.” You mutter through a grimace. “This hurts way more than the rib cage one they got.” You glanced down to see him still outlining the plane. 

After another agonizing hour and a half, the tattoo was done. Han moved up from you and put away the tattoo gun on the metal table. 

“Finished.” He clapped his gloved hands together. “You guys can come closer now.” He ushered over the couple standing by the doorway. 

“You feeling okay?” Haneul asked as she moved over to your side. You nodded at her and adjusted yourself in your seat, your lower half feeling numb from sitting for too long.

“Yeah, it became bearable after a while.” You mutter out. 

“You can take a look at it in the mirror over there.” Han pointed out to the full body mirror sitting in the corner of the room as he prepared the plastic wrap. You moved over to the mirror and looked at the tattoo. 

“Oh, it’s so cute.” You cooed with a smile growing on your face when you saw the design sitting right under your collarbone.

“Now, you have something that contrasts the tattoos your soulmate keeps getting.” She smiled when she looked at the tattoo through the mirror as well. 

»»————-　　————-««

“Woah, that’s new.” Jackson pointed out when Mark sat up, tiredly rubbing his eyes. He squinted his eyes at his roommate through the pain of the throbbing headache; a painful souvenir from the night before.

“What?” He muttered out.

“You have a new tattoo.” Jackson pointed at the irritated skin of his collarbone. Mark looked down and his eyes widened when he saw the paper plane. “I guess your soulmate’s tired of you always getting tattoos.” He snickered. Mark groggily sat up from his bed and moved over to his closet, opening it to look in the mirror that hung off of the closet door. 

“I guess they are.” He muttered when he got a full look at the new tattoo. He wasn’t used to any colour being on his tattoos, but he liked it. It was simple. 

“It’s cute.” Jackson tilted his head to look at it properly. Mark nodded, 

“I like it.” He stated, gently running his fingers along the red skin and being careful not to apply any pressure to it. “I wonder what timezone they’re in since it happened while I was sleeping.” He hummed out as he ran a hair through his messy bed hair. 

“If you’re sleeping when this showed up, then that probably means you keep getting tattoos while they’re sleeping.” Jackson spoke as he threw on a shirt. Mark stared at himself in the mirror as he thought about it. A small sense of guilt washed over him when he realised that maybe they were sleeping whenever he was getting his tattoos. 

“Damn,” Mark sighed out as he looked down at his rib cage through the mirror. “That makes me feel bad.” 

“Maybe this is their way of reminding you they exist.” He joked. 

Mark spent the next few days completely obsessed with his new tattoo. He strangely felt more connected to his soulmate even though the tattoo was the only response he had ever gotten from them. His group always caught him silently admiring the tattoo in between schedules whenever he’d be shirtless or whenever he was wearing a low cut shirt. 

“Mark hyung, you’re really into it, huh?” Jinyoung asked when he walked into the changing room to see his older member staring at the vanity mirror while holding his shirt in his left hand. 

“I just think it’s really cute.” Mark muttered out without much attention towards Jinyoung. 

“Don’t spend too much time looking at it. We have to get ready for the show.”Jaebeom patted Mark on the back lightly as he walked past them. 

Right, the show. 

Mark was hoping that maybe he could find his soulmate wherever they were while they were on tour but so far he hadn’t felt much whenever they had fansigns or hi touches. 

The rest of his group had described their experience with their soulmates as a fire in their soul being ignited. Mark remembered asking Jackson about how he felt when he met his soulmate and distinctly remembers their conversation that night in their hotel room. 

“It felt like I suddenly saw everything in colour.” He explained. “I never knew how empty I actually felt until I met her.” 

“Is it like how other people describe it?” Mark asked. 

“Other people described it as an explosion in their soul. I think everyone feels it differently.” Jackson shrugged. “But I do remember feeling like everything in my body was just warm and I remember feeling so fucking happy.”

That was the feeling Mark was yearning for. The feeling of suddenly finding the person he was meant to spend forever with. The person he was connected with by soul. 

“Do you think maybe he’ll meet them soon?” Yugyeom whispered to Youngjae as they stood at the other end of the room. 

“Hopefully.” Youngjae shrugged. “He’s really into that tattoo. He doesn’t even appreciate his own tattoos this much.” He chuckled. 

“The tour might make it easier, but what if his soulmate’s in a location we’re not going to?” BamBam mentioned, making them all turn to him. 

“That is a possibility.” Youngjae nodded. 

“They could be in Korea for all we know.” Yugyeom pointed out with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. 

“He’s the only one who hasn’t found his soulmate yet. I feel bad for him.” BamBam sighed as they turned back to Mark to see him tracing his tattoo with his fingers. 

“Attention away from him or he might get snappy.” Jinyoung ushered as he approached them. “You know how he feels about the whole soulmate issue.” He spoke to them softly.

“You feeling hopeful?” Jackson asked Mark, tearing his attention away from the tattoo to finally put on the black tank top he was wearing for the concert. 

“About what?” Mark hummed out in question. 

“The tattoo.” He turned to Jackson and shrugged, 

“I don’t know when I’ll meet them or if I’ll ever meet them. I just like the tattoo and it makes me feel closer to them.” He smiled slightly at him but Jackson could see the sadness that was hiding behind his eyes. 

They were all aware that Mark could be slightly sensitive about the topic of soulmates, but he never really showed much sensitivity unless he was angry. Jackson could see how much despair Mark was in that he still hadn’t even come close to finding his soulmate. 

Every time Mark got a tattoo, he was secretly hoping he would find someone with the same exact tattoos. Thus, why he had gotten such a big tattoo in such an obvious place. He was hoping that he would bump into someone who had the same cross in the same place. He wanted to find his soulmate with the cross. 

“Mark hyung.” Yugyeom’s voice pulled Mark out of thought and made him turn to his younger member. “We need to go.” He gestured his head to the stage and Mark nodded, 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

»»————-　　————-««

You opened the front door with your eyes squinted at Leo. 

“Haneul eonnie isn’t here.” You grumble out as you rub your eyes from the evening nap that Leo had ever so rudely woken you from by ringing your doorbell. 

“Is it wrong for me to see my best friend? I needed to see you.” He said as he pushed past you and into the apartment. Your eyes only squinted even more at his words when you turn around to face him after you close the door. 

“Oppa, I know I said you practically live here too, but seriously?” You throw your arms up in the air in annoyance when his back was turned to you with his attention on his phone. You cross your arms over your chest when he turns around and holds his phone up in front of your face, 

“Look familiar?” He questions. You let your eyes adjust to the screen and your jaw goes slack when you see what he’s talking about. You yanked his phone out of his hands and zoom in on the picture or the large cross tattooed on the calf of non other than Mark Tuan from Got7. 

“Holy shit.” You mutter as you look back at him, “Does he have any of the other tattoos?”

Leo takes his phone back, “There’s really blurry pictures of others but look,” He showed you another picture of the tattoos on his bicep and rib cage, “Don’t you have these too?” He gestured to the tattoo on your inner bicep that was slightly showing from under the sleeve of your shirt. 

“No way.” You whisper in slight disbelief, “It could be a coincidence.” You shake your head. Leo raises an eyebrow at you before turning his phone back to himself. 

“It would be a coincidence if he didn’t have this one.” He turns the phone back to you and you could feel your entire being jump when you see a picture of Mark posing in his swimming trunks and a tattoo, no, your paper plane tattoo on his collarbone. 

“Where is this picture from?” You asked as you once again snatch his phone from his hands to get a better look. 

“One of their backup dancers is my brother. Sometimes they get drunk and swim in the pool and it just so happened that Mark got a new tattoo around the same time that you did.” He smirks as he crosses his arms over his chest, “I think we just found your soulmate.” 

“I still don’t believe it.” You bit your lip. 

“(Y/n), seriously?” He huffed out, “He has all your tattoos and that paper plane tattoo is exactly the same as yours.” He crossed his arms over his chest, “When Haneul gets back, I’m going to convince her to take you to their concert here in Seoul.” 

“I don’t know, Leo oppa. It doesn’t make sense. If they’re from Korea, then why do my tattoos always pop up while I’m sleeping?” You question, still stuck on the belief that Mark wasn’t your soulmate. 

“Think outside the box, (Y/n). Maybe he got them while he was on tour or while he was drunk or having an existential crisis in the middle of the night.” He squinted his eyes at you, “I’m getting you into the concert no matter what.” He gave you a cheeky smile and took his phone from your hands, dialing a number. 

“What are you doing?” You asked when he pressed his phone to his ear and began talking. 

“Hyung, when’s the next concert in Seoul?” His question made your eyes widen and you quickly jumped onto his back to try and grab his phone out of his hands. 

“Kang Leo!” You yell as you tried to pull the phone away from him. 

“I think I found Mark-ssi’s soulmate.” He spoke through the aggression you were putting him under, desperately trying to keep both of you standing and swatting your hands away. “Yeah, same tattoos and everything. Even the paper plane. They’re back next week?” You froze. He glanced over his shoulder and smirked when you did, “Alright, thanks. Three would work.” He hung up the phone and you were still hanging on his back frozen. You slid off of his back and glared at him, 

“What if he’s not my soulmate and I just end up embarrassing myself?” You poke at his chest. He raised his hand and flicked your forehead, causing you to yelp and move away from him. 

“That’s for speaking so disrespectfully to me.” He smiled at you, “And if he’s not, then we’ll find out. If he is and you don’t go, you’ll be throwing away an opportunity.” 

“Why do you know literally everyone?” You groaned as you crouched onto the floor with your hands covering your face. 

“I’m a social butterfly.” He shrugged. “You owe me now!” He cheered. You moved your hands from your face and glared at him just as the sound of beeping came from the keypad to the front door. 

Haneul walked into the apartment and froze in her spot when she saw you crouched on the ground and her soulmate standing across from you with a wide smile on his face. 

“Okay, what happened?” She questioned as she slipped off her heels.

“I think I found (Y/n)’s soulmate and he’s an idol!” Leo announced with his hands in the air. 

“Really?” She looked between you and him. You covered your face with your hands once again and nodded. “What did you do?” She moved over to him when she realised Leo must’ve done something about it.

“My brother is a backup dancer for Got7 and he got us three backstage passes for the concert next week in Seoul.” He unlocked his phone and showed her the picture of Mark’s tattoos. 

“Holy shit, (Y/n)’s gonna date an idol.” Haneul chuckled. You look up at her and pout,

“Eonnie, what if it’s not him?” You whine out at her. 

“Oh come on, it’s worth a try.” She waved her hand at you. “If we don’t go at all, we’ll never know.” She tugged on your arm so that you would stand up. “Now, you have a week to prepare. Put yourself together and let’s get two souls together!” She clapped excitedly. 

Haneul and Leo really spent the whole week just getting you ready. Leo even bought the fan lights because he felt like being at a concert without one would be boring. 

“I’m supporting my brother.” Leo shrugged when he insisted on buying the fan light. 

“The fan light is for the group, not your brother.” You pointed out. 

“Sssh,” He hushed you, “By supporting the group, I’m indirectly supporting my brother.” He said as he pulled the boxes off of the shelf. 

Haneul on the other hand was learning fanchants. 

“If we don’t learn them, it’ll be embarrassing. We’re listening to GOT7 almost everyday and we’ve never thought about learning any of the fanchants for fun.” She pointed out when you walked in on her playing one of their comebacks on the TV. You actually ended up joining her after half an hour of her playing Fly over and over again. 

You found yourself staring at the ceiling the night before the concert. You couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. Whether it was excitement from anticipating the concert or the possibility of meeting your soulmate, it wasn’t letting you sleep.

Mark instead was spending his time in the dorms, completely unaware of the person he was going to meet the next day. Leo’s brother had told everyone about it except for Mark, even their managers and the crew. 

“He’s sulking while playing Fortnite.” Jackson sighed as he closed the bedroom door to Jinyoung’s room. 

“If he knew what was going to happen tomorrow, I don’t think he’d sleep.” Jinyoung replied as he turned away from the keyboard sitting on his desk. Jackson sat himself on the edge of his bed, 

“He asked me a while ago about how I felt when I met my soulmate.” He muttered out, obviously concerned for Mark. 

“He asked me that, too. I don’t really blame him. We met our soulmates years ago. He’s the last of us and he hasn’t even come close to feeling like he’s going to meet his.” He pursed his lips as he turned back to the keyboard, starting to aimlessly play a melody. 

“Do you think she’s the one?” Jackson asked after a moment of listening to Jinyoung play. His question made his friend stop to think. 

“Anything could happen, Jackson. They said she has the tattoos. Let’s just hope it’s her.” He nodded slowly. 

“I hate seeing him sad. It makes me sad.” He pouted. 

“You sound like his boyfriend.” Jinyoung joked as he started playing once again. “Don’t worry too much about it. You might accidentally tell him.” He chuckled. 

“I promise I won’t tell him. I’m just worried, I guess.” Jackson shrugged. 

“It’s okay to be worried. He is our brother after all.” Jinyoung nodded at him, “Now, instead of being here, go give him your company. He might be feeling lonely.”

»»————-　　————-««

“You ready?” Haneul asked as she poked her head into your room. You were looking at the full body mirror and trying on outfits. “Are you having trouble?” She asked when you didn’t answer, your full attention of trying to find the right outfit. You turned to her with a sigh. She pursed her lips before rummaging through your closet, 

“I’ve tried everything. Nothing looks nice.” You groan as you plop yourself onto your bed. 

“You’re just nervous.” She pulled out a simple neon green crop top and white shorts, “Try this. Their whole colour is green anyway.” She handed you the outfit. You sat up and gave her a skeptical look but decided to put it on anyway. To your surprise, it was perfect. 

You left the apartment shortly after Leo arrived with all three of the fanlights in his hand, 

“My brother said he handed the passes to one of the guards.” Leo spoke as the three of you made your way down the apartment building, “We just have to show them our ID when we get there so they can confirm it’s us.” 

“You brought your purse, right?” Haneul questioned you. You nodded and pulled your purse out of your clear bag, making a double check to make sure you had everything you needed. 

“All’s here.” You nodded to the two of them. 

“Do you want to watch the show first or do you want to meet Mark first?” Leo asked as the three of you got into his car. 

“Let’s watch the show first. I don’t want him to feel disappointed while he’s performing.” You mutter out as you lean back in the leather seat. 

“Stop thinking that way, (Y/n).” Haneul turned around from the passenger seat to squint at you, “If we don’t go, we’ll never know. Even if he isn’t your soulmate, it’s still worth a shot.” She scolded you. You let out a sigh and nod, 

“Sorry, it just seems really unlikely to me.” You mumbled, looking out of the window to the buildings passing. 

“Why so?” Leo asked as he glanced at you through the rearview mirror. 

“He’s an idol. He’s like… famous. What if he turns me down even if we are soulmates because I’m just normal?” You let out another sigh, sinking further into the seat. 

“That’s impossible.” She shook her head, “You’re his soulmate. I’m pretty sure he’d do anything for you. Right, Leo?” Haneul lightly nudged Leo’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, totally.” He nodded, “My brother said that the other members’ soulmates aren’t idols. They’re with them even though they’re ‘normal’.” He raised one hand to air quote the word normal. “You’ll be fine, (Y/n).” He gave you a reassuring smile through the rearview mirror. 

You let your head rest against the window for the rest of the ride. Both your roommate and your best friend were still trying their best to reassure you, but your heart was still filled with doubt. Anything could happen. Mark was an idol and you were not. 

“Stop worrying about it and let’s have fun.” Haneul spoke as she guided your shoulders towards the venue. After you guys had arrived, you made the sudden decision to turn back but Haneul and Leo were having none of it. 

“You worry too much, (Y/n).” Leo chuckled as he led you straight to the entrance. You watched the way IGOT7’s were excitedly waiting outside the venue with their banners and their lightsticks. “Give me your IDs.” He spoke when he stopped in front of one of the guards. 

You could feel your stomach starting to fill with anxiety the longer you watched him talk to the guard. He turned around after a minute and handed you your pass, “Don’t lose it.” He chuckled. 

“I’m glad we didn’t come any earlier.” You muttered out as you slipped the lanyard of the pass around your neck, “I think it would’ve given me more opportunity to run away.” You joked. 

Haneul chuckled, “We didn’t need to come earlier because Leo’s brother got us VIP seats.” She glanced over at Leo who nodded. 

“We get to watch the whole show from above in one of the balcony area thingies.” He said as he led you into the venue and up the stairs. 

“Holy shit, we’ll see everything from here!” Haneul excitedly clapped her hands when she saw the view of the entire stage. You watched as the venue started to fill with people. The lights went off and you could feel the excitement of the concert buzz starting to replace your anxiety. You watched as the music started and the group came out onto the stage. 

Mark stepped out onto the stage with a smile on his face from the sound of the crowd chanting. 

“Ahgase, are you ready?” Jackson asked into the microphone, his voice coming out through the sound system and echoing throughout the venue. The crowd screamed louder. 

The moment you saw Mark, you were entranced. The sound of his voice made your heart flutter. The way his body moved made your worries completely disappear. His smile melted your heart. 

“Oh my god,” You whispered out in awe. 

Mark’s eyes were constantly scanning the crowd in an attempt to remember as many of their fans as he could. Halfway through Page, his eyes met yours. The whole world slowed down around him and everything else sounded muffled. His lips parted in awe at the sight of you and you could only do the same. It felt as though a fire was ignited in your soul. 

Mark did the only thing he felt was logical and lifted his arm up to show the tattoo on his inner bicep. You rolled up your sleeve and lifted your own arm. Despite the distance, he could still see the tattoo as clear as day. 

“(Y/n)?” Leo turned to you when you saw your arm up but you didn’t respond to him. He followed your gaze and saw Mark staring directly at you. “Haneul!” He called over to his soulmate who was sitting beside him. When she turned to face him, he pointed at you and she realised that you had already locked eyes with Mark. 

“(Y/n)!” Haneul reached over and waved her hand in front of your face, causing you to snap out of your trance. 

“What?” You asked as you turned to her. 

“Is he your soulmate?” She asked. You turn back to the stage and see Mark stealing glances in your direction as he moved over to the other side of the stage before nodding, 

“I think so.” 

»»————-　　————-««

“Take a deep breath, (Y/n).” Haneul rubbed your back gently, “If you really can’t do it, we can go.” She smiled softly at you. You turned to her and nodded, swallowing a lump in your throat. 

“Okay, we just need to follow this dude backstage.” Leo announced as he turned around from the crew member he was talking to. “You okay?” He questioned you, silently offering one last second to let yourself run away but you nodded. 

“I-I can do this.” You took a deep breath and smiled at him. 

“Okay, come on.” The crew member led you into the venue and through the back. You couldn’t help but rub your hands together anxiously the closer you got backstage. You looked around the venue to try and desperately find something that would calm you down when a hand wrapped around yours. 

You turned to your side to see Haneul holding your hand in hers with a comforting smile on her face. Leo slung his arm around your shoulders, 

“If anything happens, we’re here for you.” He smiled at you. You returned the smile, glad that at least you weren’t doing this alone because you were sure you would back out at the last minute. Which you were ready to do when you reached the curtain that hid the backstage. 

The grip on your hand tightened as you pushed through the curtain to see Leo’s brother waiting behind the curtain. His tired expression immediately lit up at the sight of his younger brother, 

“Leo!” He opened his arms and hugged him. 

“Hyung, you did really well!” Leo congratulated him as he pulled away, “This is Haneul and (Y/n).” He moved aside so that his brother could see you both. 

“I assume (Y/n)-ssi is the soulmate since you’ve mentioned Haneul-ssi a couple times before.” He smiled at you, “I’ll tell you now, Mark couldn’t stop talking about you right after the show finished.” He chuckled as he started walking, the three of you following him through the backstage area. “He kept talking about this girl who had his tattoos and how his entire world stopped moving the moment he saw her.” 

Haneul nudged your shoulder teasingly when she saw your cheeks starting to heat up. 

“(Y/n)’s nervous that he’ll turn her down because she’s not an idol.” She told Leo’s brother. You slapped her arm and she stuck her tongue out at you in response. 

“Really?” He turned around to glance at you. When you nodded shyly he let out a soft chuckle, “There’s no way that’ll happen. He’s sad a lot of the time because he’s the only one who hasn’t found his soulmate. All the other members found theirs years ago.” He stopped walking when he reached the changing room and turned around to face you completely, “No worries about this at all, (Y/n)-ssi. He will most definitely want to be with you.” He reassured you. 

He waited until you nodded and he knocked on the door. Your grip on Haneul’s hand turned into you practically hugging her arm as you felt yourself getting more and more nervous once again. She placed her other hand on top of yours to calm your nerves. 

“God, if you weren’t here, I probably would’ve melted into the ground.” You muttered out to her and she laughs, 

“I know you would, that’s why I’m here.” She teased, “Unfortunately, when the door opens and you have to see Mark, Leo and I are going to stay out here.” She muttered to you just as the door opened to reveal Youngjae. He looked between Leo’s brother and the three of you before nodding, 

“Is it her?” He gestured to you. Leo’s brother nodded. “Okay, good, because Mark hyung is getting sad again.” He chuckled as he moved aside to let you into the room. You glanced behind you to see Haneul, Leo and his brother looking at you with their thumbs up as the door closed. 

“Sad?” You questioned as you turned to Youngjae.

“He’s scared he’ll never see you again.” He let out another soft chuckle. The further you got into the room, the more members you saw. Yugyeom and BamBam were the next two who saw you, their eyes widening as they quickly left the room. “We’ll give you guys your privacy, but we’ll come back in like 20 minutes.” He said after Jinyoung and Jaebeom noticed your presence. 

Once they had left the room, you caught sight of Mark sitting in the corner with his knees to his chest. If the room hadn’t been empty, you wouldn’t have heard his soft sobs. You froze in place, unsure of whether you should comfort him or not. 

He glanced up at you and his bloodshot eyes widened when he saw you. “W-What are you doing here?” He asked as he scrambled to his feet and wiped away his tears with the back of his hand.

“My best friend saw a picture of your paper plane tattoo and his brother’s one of your backup dancers.” You explained softly as you took a step closer to him. 

“Are you…” He trailed off as he took a step closer as well, “My soulmate?” He asked as he hesitantly extended his hand towards you. 

“I think I am.” You whispered out as you took his hand. The electricity that ran through your hand was enough to let you know. Your entire body felt warm and felt as though the initial jolt was starting to ignite you from deep within. It was exactly the same feeling as when you had locked eyes with him for the first time. 

Mark’s grip on your hand tightened and more tears leaked out of his eyes as he smiled, 

“It’s you.” He let out a laugh through his tears, “You’re my soulmate.” He whispered as he leaned his face closer to yours. 

“I’ve been meaning to meet you.” You couldn’t help the smile that was creeping onto your face as he leaned closer and pressed his chapped lips to yours. You could feel the explosion everyone was talking about. Your heart felt like it could burst from pure love just by the feeling of his lips on yours. 

He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you against him, deepening the kiss. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders to tighten your grip around him. 

“That’s enough.” Jackson giggled from the doorway, forcing the two of you apart to turn to him only to see all of them - including Haneul, Leo, his brother and all their crew members - watching the two of you. “We don’t need any messes in the changing rooms.” He wiggled his eyebrows at the two of you. 

“Shut up.” Mark grumbled at him through the smile before turning back to you. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to meet you.” He hummed out as he pressed his forehead against yours.

[marvel-medigeek-fics]

Give Me a Miracle

  part 3

Maddie is fine. Josh is fine. Eddie is fine. Everyone’s fine. If by fine you mean alive, or course. But you mean something else, awake or talking, or good, they aren’t.

Chim sits next to Maddie, holding her hand while she rests. When she is resting, she doesn’t cry in pain. She doesn’t moan or beg to see the xrays. She is good when she is asleep.

Sue sits next to Josh, watching him sleep peacefully for once in a blue moon. He deserves the rest, because sue knows he hasn’t slept well since his disaster of a date. He is good when he is asleep.

Carla sits next to Eddie. She was the first person Buck called, because Buck couldn’t sit next to his best friend right now. So Carla took his place and sat vigil at Eddie’s bedside. He deserved some rest. He isn’t carrying a world of burdens when he sleeps. He is good when he is asleep.

As soon as all the people Buck cared about were sleeping in their rooms, he went to pick up Chris.

“Hey, buddy, Mrs. Diaz.” Buck says once he pulled up to Eddie’s abuelas house.

“Buck!” Christopher squeals.

“Hola, Evan.” Mrs. Diaz has tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face.

Buck bends down to look into Chris’ eyes as he tells him his father is in the hospital. Both of them tear up a little.

“Can I see him?” Chris asks.

Buck looks to Mrs. Diaz, silently asking permission. She nods at him and Buck nods to Chris.

“I can give you a ride, Mrs. Diaz, if you want.”

“No, Evan, I can’t ask you to do that.” She replies.

“It’s not a problem. Really.”

She finally relents and a few minutes later, the three of them are situated in Bucks Jeep.

—

Maddie opens her eyes to see Chim looking off into space. “Howie.” she whispers. Chim’s eyes move slowly from the spot on the wall to her face. He smiles at her. His eyes hold the faintest sign of tears. 

“Maddie?” he whispers back, reaching a hand to cup her cheek. The love in his eyes, his touch, is evident. Maddie savors the quietness of this moment. It is finally quiet again. There is no yelling, or crying, or moaning. It’s okay. She made it. 

“How is everyone? Josh?” Maddie asks quietly, almost afraid to hear the answer. 

“Josh is alive. He’s okay.” Chim replies. 

“Sue? Linda? Jamal? Terry?” 

“Sue is with Josh. Linda is okay. Jamal and Terry are in medically induced comas.” Chim is careful about how he breaks this news. He doesn’t want to hurt her. 

Maddie’s face visibly falls and a few rogue tears fall down her cheeks. Chim softly wipes them away. “I need to see them,” she says, her voice the slightest bit wobbly.

“I know. Tomorrow.”

Maddie doesn’t protest.

--

Josh’s eyes fly open. “What happened?” And then he remembers. His hand reaches for his shoulder unconsciously.

“You were in an accident, Josh. You were shot.” Nothing about Sue says she would ever sugarcoat the truth. 

“How is Maddie?” 

“She’s okay. Josh-” 

“Thank God, she’s okay. How is everyone else? Are they-” Josh’s voice trails off when he sees Sue’s expression. Her face falls and so does Josh’s. 

“There were 6 casualties. 4 people are in medically induced comas. Josh-”

“Who?” When Josh says it, it doesn’t even sound like a question. He doesn’t even listen to Sue’s answer. Until he hears her say Jamal. 

“No.” His voice is barely audible and tears begin to pour down his cheeks. Sue hands him a tissue and he wipes at his tears haphazardly. 

“You can see him tomorrow.” Sue says. 

“I don’t want to see him until the funeral.” Josh replies simply, still sniffling. 

“He’s not dead, Josh.”

“He’s- what?” he looks Sue in the eye.

“He’s not dead, Josh. They’re going to try and bring him out of his coma in a few days.”

“He’s alive. He’s alive.” Josh repeats, slowly making himself believe it. 

--

Buck pulls into a parking spot, and tries to be stoic. 3 of the people he cares about most are in the hospital. He is stoic when Isabel and Christopher check in. He is stoic when they ride the elevator to the 3rd floor. He is stoic as the three of them walk down the hallway. He is stoic when he walks by the rooms of hurting family members. Is this how the 118 felt when he was in the hospital? 

“I’m going to check on my sister, I’ll meet you guys at his room.” Buck says, stopping just before the doorway of Maddie’s room. The two Diazs nod and walk further down the hall. Buck steels himself to see his sister. He doesn’t know how she’ll be. 

“Hi, Maddie.” Maddie smiles at him and so does Chim. 

“Buck!” He crosses the room to hug his sister. 

“You’re okay.”

“Yeah. I am. How’s Eddie?” 

“I haven’t seen him yet. I wanted to give his abuela and Chris a little alone time with him. And I wanted to see you first.” 

Maddie nods slowly, knowingly. Chim knows too. “Go see him.” 

Buck nods, hesitant to leave his sister. “I got her, Buck.” Chim says, when Buck makes no move to leave. 

“I know. Thank you.” Buck smiles slightly. His sister is fine. She has Chim. She is okay. And he has no clue about his best friend. 

--

The hallway is silent, the only sounds faint clicks and beeps of machines. Mrs. Diaz and Chris are asleep, and Buck thinks Eddie is too. 

“Hey, Buck.” Eddie whispers, but Buck hears it loud and clear.

“You’re okay.” Buck says, walking into the room.

“Peachy.” Buck gives him a worried look. “I’m fine.” 

“Is this how you felt when I was in the hospital?”

“You’ll have to be more specific.” Eddie winces as he shifts to look at his best friend. 

Buck chuckles quietly and Eddie smiles. 

“I’m really happy that you’re okay.” 

Eddie doesn’t reply, just looks over at his abuela and his son. “Thank you for bringing them.”

“They’re your family.” Buck shrugs it off. The two of them sit together in light silence. There’s no stifling urge to talk. They are fine, sitting here. They are going to be okay. 

--

“I have someone who could use a little company, Chris.” Buck says to his little buddy. 

“Who, Buck?” Chris replies as they walk down the hall. Buck stops him at the doorway of one of the rooms. It is empty, except for it’s patient. 

“Hey, Josh.”

“Buck? What are you doing here?” 

“Maddie asked me to check on you, and I thought I’d bring you a little cheering up. This is Chris.” 

“Hi, Chris. I’m Josh.” 

“Hi, Josh.” Chris crosses the room, with Buck right on his heels. 

As the three of them sit together, the tension, the anxiety, the hurt, melt from Josh, from Buck. Christopher makes everything better. Everything is okay. 

--

“Bobby?” 

“Hi, Eddie. How are you feeling?”

“Honestly, I feel good.” 

“What did the doctor say?”

“He said I’m lucky the bullet didn’t hit anything.” 

Bobby nods, not taking his eyes from Eddie’s. “You are very lucky.” 

“Dad!” Christopher calls from the door. 

“Hey, buddy!” Eddie’s face erupts into a grin and Bobby smiles too. The love between father and son is contagious. They are lucky to have each other, and Eddie knows it most of all. 

--

Maddie went to visit Josh bright and early. Her doctor and Chimney both gave clearance, though the latter was harder to convince.

“Hey, Josh.” Maddie wheels herself next to Josh’s bed.

“Hey, Maddie. How’s your leg?” 

“Numb, honestly. How’s your shoulder?”

“The opposite of numb. But I can still feel it, which is a plus.”

Maddie laughs, taking Josh’s hand in hers. 

“Who is this?” Josh says, waiting for Maddie to introduce the man he has deduced is Howie “Chimney” Han. 

“This is my boyfriend, Howie. Howie, this is Josh.” Maddie smiles at two of the men she cares for the most. 

“I would shake your hand, but you know.” Josh gestures to his right arm.

Chimney chuckles in reply. 

“So, how are you holding up?” Josh and Maddie say at the same time.

“It’s a little...weird. But it’s going to be weirder when we go back.” Maddie answers first.

“Yeah. No kidding. It’s hard to comprehend, really.”

“Have you talked to the police yet?” Maddie questions gently.

“No. Sue told me they’re going to be questioning us later today and tomorrow.”

“Are you going to tell them?”

“Should I? He’s already going to jail. I don’t know whether it would do any good to press charges.”

“I can’t answer that for you, Josh. But whatever you decide, I’ll be there.” 

“Thank you, Maddie.” They embrace, being careful of Josh’s incapacitated arm and shoulder. 

--

“Are you sure you all can go home?” Buck asks worriedly.

“Buck! We’ve all been cleared to go home.” Maddie answers for the trio Buck was asking: herself, Josh and Eddie. 

“Are you sure sure?” 

Everyone sighs in mock esasperation, and Buck finally relents on his worried Dad persona. 

Chim takes Maddie back to her apartment, so he can spoonfeed her soup or watch bad reality television or whatever cheesy romantic things they do. Eddie’s tia is taking the Diaz boys home, and Josh has Linda riding the bus with him. Buck is going home alone, the first time in a few days where he doesn’t have to be worried about going back to the hospital. 

They all made it. For better or for worse, they made it.

••notes: this was so hard for me to right, seriously it took so long. BUT it is done. Anyway, I hope you enjoy my take on 3.14! I wrote a few more scenes for this, but I will post those soon and link them. I would’ve posted them with this, but I felt like I was dragging on. I can’t write long fics to save my life.

Okay I’m done. Cheers:)

[orderuponthe99prettygrimmdiaries]

You’ve made your bed, now you gotta lie in it.

Moments like these sometimes makes me wonder if it would really affect anyone if I was gone (well, I mean apart from my parents of course)... I fucking hate having such thoughts... Is it just my insecurities, anxiety, hormonal crap, or why do I have this feeling like I’m a backup... 

Ugh, but that’s the fucking thing - everyone has their own lives. No one’s lives revolves around yours, so I need to remind myself of this and stop stressing out when things seem to be slightly different. People might be upset with some other aspect, they might be stressed, they might be tired, they might need a break, and yes, sometimes it’s a break from you. Especially so in this period. So take this fucking time to have a good break too. 

Speaking of, very thankful that the psychiatrist I met with today gave me medical leave for tomorrow, really needed that. So for tomorrow, not gonna touch anything related to work. No emails, no whatsapp, nothing. It’s time to take a proper break to reset myself, to recharge. 

Today definitely wasn’t what I expected it to be. Had thought it would be like a normal counselling session, but I guess it was more of a get-to-know-your-situation. Also, there was a med student there too, which kinda felt a little odd and definitely held back a little on what I wanted to say, but he was nice. Mainly talked about work stress, sleep stuff, and oof, honestly my appetite just got way worse. I just survived today on a cup of tea, a can of coffee, an egg for breakfast, and then dinner. It’s amazing how I didn’t even feel hunger at all, no gastric pains, nothing. Well, there was slight hunger, then the stress kicked in again and that was gone. 

Anyhoo.. we also spoke briefly about family.. didn’t really cover relationships or friends much, the former being one I wanted to talk a bit of, considering everything. But well, either way. Next round, or when I get my session with a psychologist... which I’m honestly contemplating about. Maybe I should just return to the counselling place I went to.. 

But, was reminded about some stuff too - breathing exercises, mindfulness... He had also asked what I had hoped to achieve from this (also why I decided to seek help, why now), which was really to manage my emotions better. I mean I know we can’t always have happiness... But ufgh, the dip from happiness to currently what shit state I’m in right now, I just.. I don’t even know.  I really hope this is just an exhaustion phase plus the hormones acting up, I really can’t bear to let myself slip back into this again. ‘This’ being the darkest moments I consider in my life in 2015, which I also kinda mentioned to them. He asked if it felt worse then or now, and I said it was then.. I did hesitate in responding. I mean, it does feel pretty bad now but I think I’m more well equipped in handling it at least, and better support system overall. 

This is also another reason why I hate having those thoughts I was talking about at the start of this post. Some of my colleagues are being sweet about everything, one asking why I’m still continuing with work despite my appointment (I almost teared up yet again), and my manager encouraging me to take a break and offering to be a listening ear too, and even the other driver offering a ride (which honestly, I don’t think I could even accept considering the “rules” with covid-situation). Was still sweet though. Even the newbie that I mostly speak to about work (we’ve recently started talking a bit more) had asked, she (and I guess the VP) probably heard my choked up crying voice yesterday at the end of the meeting. So yep. 

Ufff, and other friends being concerned and sending their love. Oh, and the one person I hoped who would check in.. well, didn’t really, but we did talk for a bit and that was nice. I do think that my mood is rubbing off, or at least it feels like it is, or we just need to take a little step back. Especially myself, considering I’m getting way too attached again, and catching way too much feelings. 

But I mean... I was the one who made the decision to continue talking to him when he returned. I could have left it. I could have left it be every single time it felt like the convo was dying, but I didn’t want it to end. Despite what everyone said, I trusted my heart and feelings, I trusted him. I’m not saying I regret it, really. I knew who he was, or at least the person he shows to me. Maybe he’s not always all that concerned or caring, maybe he doesn’t really speak that much or initiate a lot at times, but I still somehow fell for him. 

I’ve been actually thinking quite a bit about the moment we first met... Apparently it was either on his birthday or soon after it. That very first time, just a simple “thank you” as he left, that caught my attention. And the very next time, we got to talking a bit. It felt comfortable, it felt great. It caught my interest. He caught my interest. Then time went by... And then I finally got his name (and also his number and a date) so that kinda snowballed pretty fast after very slow progress. I’m not sure where it’s going now, I don’t think I’ve ever known. Sometimes it feels like he might feel somewhat similarly, sometimes no. Some say that ain’t great, but also you shouldn’t compare progress?? So... yeah. 

Oh, but I digress. I was gonna say how even though now isn’t as bad as 2015 was, it’s definitely terrifying that I had missed the symptoms and signs, or maybe I just brushed them off because I was busy and focused with work or life and then I just hit burnout so bad without even realising. 

Am trying my best to divert my mind and emotions today, especially with crying too much over the past week. Didn’t exactly work the way I wanted hah. Still cried quite a bit, but am trying to channel all this negative into positive to people around me. Maybe I’m not strong enough to just be all positive for me, but maybe I could try to make things better for someone else at least. I had told a friend this, and she’s like you shouldn’t do this for others but yourself, which is sweet and I appreciate her sentiment. But sometimes I’m just unable to fake it to pretend that all’s peachy (I mean I’m already trying my best to hide it on the outside, especially at work), so the most I could try is to make things better for someone, anyone. Even despite he didn’t check in, maybe he wanted to give me my space, maybe he didn’t want to probe, or just maybe he doesn’t really give a crap about it/me, I wanted to try. I still wanted to try. 

Gah, but whatever. Enough of thinking, enough of worrying, enough of stressing. For tomorrow, I just gotta take a proper break. Focus on me. And hopefully, oh damn, hopefully, things will start feeling okay again. 

Man, this was much longer than I expected it to be. It’s kinda sad that I write best when I’m upset, but I do enjoy it so much cos I’m finally able to put into words all the thoughts that I’ve got scrambling around in my head. Also just got reminded how the psychiatrist and the med student felt bad for me when I said I didn’t dare to go walking alone anymore after what happened the other time, and I just.. Ufgh, and the way he said it... no one deserves to feel afraid to go walking alone or that should have been your right. I do hope that I’ll overcome this again soon, cos I definitely need it. 

Well, this was a nice release. Time to focus on the positives and be more appreciative of what I have, instead of what I don’t, or feel like I don’t. Gotta do my best to stop this spiral before I really disappear into the darkness forever. 

Ugh, but I gotta say, I’m really proud of taking this step and not postponing the appointment, to still be open about life and all most that I’m dealing with. Yes, I still need to learn when to bite my tongue and actually who are the right people to trust, but I guess sometimes when you’re feeling so overwhelmed... 

But anyhoo.. I’m sure I’ve got this, and I hope things will start looking up from here. And well, I guess time to start job hunting too. 

X

[scaredofthebasement-blog]

When Love Walks In - Chpt 16

Chpt 16

(2nd Edit July 30, 2019)

Auston Makes a Calculated Move to Get Close to Dr Quinn

2450 Words

Warning:  Cursing

Dr Wright touches Dr Quinn’s arm affectionately and they both proceed to move through Auston’s doorway into the room.

“There’s our star patient, breathing with his new tube in!  You did great in surgery today, Auston.  I was just telling Dr Quinn that everything went well.  How does the new tube feel?” Dr Wright announces.

Auston gives a thumbs up.

“Great!”  Dr Wright reminds Auston that the holes in the tube allow air to pass from the lungs up through the vocal cords and out through the mouth and nose, allowing breathing through the mouth.

“So Julie showed you the exercises and technique for breathing?”  Dr Wright asks.  

Auston shakes his head - yes.

“Do you have any questions or concerns about the new tube?”  Dr Wright continues.

Auston shakes his head - no.

Dr Wright goes on, “After you’ve used this tube for five days, if everything goes well, the next step is Corking, which will allow you to breathe fully on your own, solely through your mouth and nose, instead of your throat.”

Auston’s growing impatient.  Okay!  Dr Wright, I think you’re great but can you move along now?  Holy fuck! I’ve waited all bloody week to see her, and she’ll probably have to go in a minute.  Give me some god damn alone time!  Auston is freaking inside.

Dr Wright continues, “And you may recall that Dr Quinn will be giving you the go-ahead to try to speak at that point, and then you’ll get to go home!”  

That’s fucking music to my fucking ears, Doc!  He screams to himself, feeling punchy.  A combination of not enough sleep, nerves and desperation, he figures.

“Auston.  I’m sorry, I missed your procedure”, Dr Quinn says as she steps closer to him at his bedside.

You’re forgiven, Auston says to himself as he catches his breath, smiles and nods, appreciating her body and essence up close; while acknowledging her apology.  

Sweetheart, if only you knew; you could do anything, and I would forgive you.

Dr Quinn continues playfully, “Have you noticed something missing from your room?  One of your best friends is gone.”

Huh?  Auston looks around wondering who she’s talking about.

“Your heart monitor is gone! Bet you’re glad to say goodbye to that noisy thing eh?”

Oh, Sunshine, you have no idea...and thank god for that sweet mercy.

“Also, no Ventilator!  You did it, Auston!  You’re getting there.  Slow and steady, right?”  Dr Quinn is upbeat.  She is really happy for Auston.  She looks to gauge his reaction.  

Auston is distracted. Taking advantage of the heart monitor being gone, he looks to find clues to see if Dr Quinn is in love with Dr Peters.  He starts scanning her body.

While the two doctors take a moment to talk amongst themselves, Auston begins running an internal dialogue with himself:  No visible hickeys.  No obvious swollen lips.  No mussed up hair…well, I’m sure she would have showered after.  No scuff marks on her face from Dr McDreamy’s stubble.  Didn’t notice an uncomfortable walk.  Hard to tell.  Does she seem ‘over the moon’?  Shit!  I don’t know!

“Auston?”  Alex calls to get his attention.  She’s wearing a grin as she’s been watching him.  She has to chuckle to herself, for her brother is gone and she finds it both adorable and hilarious.

Auston snaps out of his covert mission.

Huh?  He looks at Alex.  He sees that she’s caught him.  He rolls his eyes at her ‘know-it-all’ smirk.

“Dr Wright just said she needs to leave”, she tells him.

“Yes, Auston, if you’re alright and you don’t have any questions, I will leave you as I have another procedure to perform”, she advises.

Auston gives Dr Wright the thumbs up and mouths, thank you.

“Your most welcome, Auston. If anything comes up that you would like to discuss, please know that both myself and Dr Quinn are here for you. I’ll be following up with you tomorrow”, She says, smiling as she bids farewell to the group and leaves the room.

Just then, Dr Quinn grabs a chair and pulls it closer to Auston’s left-hand bedside.  

Alex takes that as her cue and makes an excuse that she needs to run an errand and will be back in about an hour or so.

They are together now. Alone.

Finally!  Auston is relieved and excited.  Here we go!

“So Auston, how are you doing?”  Dr Quinn asks.

What do I say?  He wonders to himself.

“Auston?”  Dr Quinn repeats.

“Sorry, what?”  He writes.

“How are you doing?” She asks with genuine concern.

“Just peachy”, he writes to be sarcastic.  He’s forgiven her but he can’t forget what she put him through this past week.

“You?”  He adds.

“Ha! Peachy, Auston. Such a kidder.  Me, I’ve been busy, but pretty good”, She tells him.

Auston has to smile at her reply.  But he isn’t about to dabble in small talk after spending a week thinking on her ‘Dr Peters’ situation.  

“How was your date?” He gets right to it.

“Uhm, good.  You’ll be happy to know that I now have a life.”  She says with a nervous giggle.

Auston is crushed.  He feels as if his heart has just been stomped on. He is sure it is the most devastating news he has ever received.  His heart sinks.

“Glad to hear.”  He lies.  He can’t even bring himself to fake a smile.

“Everything okay, Auston?”

“Yup.  I’m living the life.”  He writes, again sarcastically.

She tries to cheer him, “Auston, your big day is coming soon.  You’re going home soon and we’ll get to hear that voice of yours.”

“Yeah, voice probably won’t work”, He writes.

“Well, that’s the spirit, Auston!”  She jokes. “I for one, personally can’t wait for that day.”

Auston is morose.

Dr Quinn feels uncomfortable and concerned.  She knows Auston is struggling with his emotions, but she senses that he’s upset with her.

“Oh, I heard your parents went home to Arizona.”  She changes the subject.

“Yes.  They’ve been gone for a few days now.”  He writes.

You’d know that if you came around this week, He wants to say.

“I see.  How have you been doing with everything?  I mean, emotionally?”  She asks.

“Not good”, he writes matter-of-factly.  He wishes he could tell her just how devastating her dating news and lack of visits have been to him.

“What made you so busy this week?”  He tries to delve.

“Oh, I had a Medical Conference away from the hospital.”

“And…? He prompts her. “You went out with that doctor a few times?”  He writes.  He can’t help himself.

“Yes, we went out a few times.”  She answers uncomfortably.

All Auston can think about is that Dr Dude taking her to bed.  No!  I want to be the one that takes you to bed!  I need to make you feel my love.

“He treated you well? You like him?”  He dares to ask.

“Yeah, pretty good.  Yeah.”  Her answers are vague.  She’s uncomfortable.

Auston’s confused and a bit concerned about her ‘pretty good’ comment to the question about whether the guy treated her well and would like to go down that Rabbit Hole but Dr Quinn quickly changes the subject.

“But enough about me, let’s talk about you, Auston Matthews, my patient”, she says to remind them both where their focus needs to stay.

Auston knows he shouldn’t be peppering Dr Quinn with questions about her dating life or she’s going to catch on or get annoyed with him.  He doesn’t want either of those things.  Although she’s shutting him down on the subject, the answers she has given him make him a little confused, concerned and want to throw up.  It will kill him, but he knows he needs to stop asking.  He’ll have to take a different approach.

He has an idea:  

By now, I think I know her heart and how she thinks, what her guiding principles are; what drives her. I’ll turn them in my favour to get where I need this to go.

It’s Dr Quinn’s objective to get Auston talking about his mental health.  She feels uncomfortable discussing her love life with him and regrets letting him know such personal information.  She knows it’s unprofessional, but deep down it’s even more than that; something that she won’t allow herself to acknowledge. Instead, she tells herself that Auston only asks about her dating life because he’s bored and doesn’t want to see her get hurt because she’s his doctor.  

She stands up and walks over to the plant on the window ledge.  She picks it up.  “Nice Cactus eh Auston?”  She smiles.

“Yes, some sweet person gave that to me.” He writes.

Dr Quinn can’t control her blush.  “Well, thank you, Auston.”  

Auston plays, “Yeah, I believe it was Nurse, Julie, who gave it to me if I remember correctly.”  He writes, trying to mess with her.

Instantly, Dr Quinn feels uneasy.  She’s sure he’s just messing with her, but surprisingly, reading that he wrote, Julie is ‘sweet’ and is giving another woman credit for something she did, to be nice to him, makes her defensive.

She dismisses her feelings as silly but still can’t help herself, “Oh, really?  Well, be sure to tell her that she has great taste.”  

Without backing down from his ploy he quickly writes, “I will.”

She still can’t leave it alone.  “Funny though, I seem to recall it was me who gave you a cactus just last week, and it looks an awful lot like this one with the blue ribbon.  It’s got the Go Leafs Go blue and all.”

Ha!  Auston knows he got her.  He just proved that she needs for him to know she cares about him.  That’s all the incentive he needs.  “Well, whoever gave it to me, it’s my most coveted award.  Stanley has nothing on that baby cactus”, He writes with a smirk.

“Oh, really?  And why is that?”  She says smiling, hopeful he will say it’s because she gave it to him, but scolds herself for wanting that.

He would love to tell her it’s because of who gave it to him.  But he knows better, so instead, he writes, “Because of what it stands for.”

She is surprised that she finds herself a little disappointed by his answer but brushes the feeling aside and reminds herself what’s most important.

She gets back on track. “And what does it stand for, Auston?”

“Getting off the Ventilator. Getting out of ICU”, He writes.

“Right!  And now look at you breathing through your mouth and nose! In five more days you’ll be able to try speaking, and you’ll be going home!  How do you feel about that?”

He wants to say, afraid that I won’t get to see you much after I leave. But instead, he writes, “Excited but also nervous about how my voice is going to sound.  Afraid you won’t be able to restore it.”

“Well, how about we make a deal that we cross that bridge when we get there?  Plus you know you won’t be alone Auston.  Remember I promised you that I will do my best to fix you?  Like I told you before, I’m with you every step of the way.  Auston, you know that right?”

“Really?”  He questions, knowing what he’s doing.

Dr Quinn is taken aback by his question, “Of course, Auston!   Remember we made a deal?  You’re not alone in this.  We’re a team. I’m right beside you through this.  I’ll try to help you as best I can.  I promised you that.”

She looks at Auston for confirmation that he was mistaken to question that she’d be there for him. Auston stares ahead with a blank face waiting. It’s killing him to make her feel like he doesn’t trust her when the opposite is true.

She starts panicking inside. What the hell?  Why is he not saying he’s just messing with me?  Surely he trusts me?

She hesitates but needs to confront him. “Auston, you don’t believe me?”  Her voice sounds broken.

With a solemn face, he takes in a deep breath, holds it, lets it out and writes, “No, I don’t.” He lies.  

He gives himself a pep talk.  Hang in there, Man.  It’s what you have to do if you want a chance with her.  You have to do this to make sure you get precious time with her.  She’s so fucking busy with work and HIM that she’ll never be able to squeeze you in if you don’t make it a priority for her.  

He wants to tell her:  McDreamy can have you for date nights, but during my last week, in this place, I’ll have you with me during the days.  Not an equal playing field in the least for me but it’s all I’ve got right now.  Instead, he just speaks it in his mind.

Auston knows that somehow, he has to counter what she’s getting from that doctor.

I have to make her question her feelings for him by getting her to know me and like me.  He tells himself.

“Auston?”  Dr Quinn softly pleads for him to answer.  She is shook.  “Auston, why would you say that?”  She feels shocked and hurt.

Auston prays in his mind:

Quinn, I hope you will be able to forgive me for what I’m about to say.  Brace yourself, cause I know this is going to hurt you…But, I have to say it, for the greater good, so here I go:

“Why didn’t you come to visit me this past week?  I was having a really hard time, and it felt like you had abandoned me.”  He writes, knowing what he’s doing.  Knowing her.  He holds himself steady and remembers to breathe.

“Wha?  No!  Oh… Auston!  No!  Oh my goodness, Auston!  No!” Dr Quinn fumbles as her heart tears apart.  She can hardly breathe.  She feels like she’s going to pass out.  She wants to get as near to Auston as possible to convince him otherwise.  She pulls her chair closer to his bedside. 

Feelings she had when Josh died in his accident are surfacing.  Back then she felt like she abandoned him when he died alone on route to the hospital in the ambulance. She should have gone with him, but she let EMS talk her out of it.  She felt as though she let him down in his hour of need. With Auston, she could have been there for him this week if she had made him a priority.  She lost her focus.

Her spirit feels like it’s crumbling and tears begin to well up as she makes assumptions. He felt abandoned by me.  On my watch! I let him down!  How could I be so insensitive?  I caused him pain!  Hasn’t he suffered enough?! 

She has a sudden intense desire to grab his hand, hold it and make him know that she cares about him.  But she stops herself, realizing that would be inappropriate.  She is doing everything she can to not let her tears spill.  It wouldn’t be professional, she tells herself.

Auston knows she’s inches from him, but he won’t dare look at her.  His senses are in overdrive.  He feels she’s about to cry.  His heart is breaking into pieces knowing how this is hurting her.  He wants desperately to grab her, pull her into his arms and confess his love for her.  But he can’t. He knows he’d lose her.  Even if she didn’t want to, he knows she’d have to pull away, shut him out completely.  She’d have to find him another doctor and she’s the only one who can do what she does with voice rejuvenation.  She’d reject him because her career does not permit her to encourage an attraction.  The timing is so bad.  

He knows what he has said is tearing her apart.  He knows being there for her patients is her sole purpose for being and he’s made her feel she’s failed him in that very objective.  He can’t bear what he’s done, but he believes it’s the only card he has to play.  Will it work?

P.S.  The photo of the cactus is a joke.  Just thought it was funny.

[frekydeki]

Returned

A/n: I’m terrible because I haven’t posted for the @ibwhellospring writing event in like six days... But I’m gonna catch up while I can, and since I’ve finally had time today to sit and write, I threw this together. Generally speaking, this is a fluff, but me being me, it ends in angst. Please enjoy! :)

Prompt: First kiss/ last kiss

Pairing: (Bucky X reader) at this point I guess it’s not really a surprise I’m just such a hoe for Bucky

"So this is the weeks dame, huh?" Is sighed next to the soldier. He removed his eyes from his brunette date and put them on the red lipped woman next to him. Her eyes turned up to his, egging him on for an answer but instead closing up his throat; boy she was poison to him. "Now what's that supposed to mean?" He barked down to her, leaned closer to her in that booth, and grinned at the spark he saw snap into her eye. Instead of rewarding him with the smack of her exceptionally well chosen words - she'd always had a tongue sharper than anything he could think of - she returned her eyes to the small form uncomfortably lingering next to the woman and her red haired friend. "I'm just wondering if she'll beat your record, Buck." The girl sighed as she put her drink down and rested her empty hands on her lap. "Not that it'd be the hardest thing to beat. I mean, the longest you've kept a girl by your side's been what? A week and a half, two at most?" "Don't you make me sound to be a player! She'll up and leave me faster than that floating car broke down earlier!" He had to really strain his ear to catch the soft, wind chime of a giggle that came from his friend next to him. "Well shouldn't you be up there with her, then? Now if I were ever taken on a date, I'd be darned if he wasn't spending time with me!" Bucky, at that, let out an exasperated sigh, smacked his lips, and flicked his wrist at the girl. "I couldn't leave you alone at the table." He flicked his head in the direction of the greasy haired man that'd been eying his friend the entire time they were there, "I wouldn't want the vultures swoopin’ in, lookin for a meal." 

"He couldn't say a word to me over this music no matter how hard he tried Bucky. I'm deaf as a doorknob here!" She whined, patting her hand over her pretty locks of hair. He smiled warmly at the pout the girl wore while she was in that joint... He knew she hated to be in such loud, crowded places, but Bucky just couldn't stand it if he didn't spend his last day in Brooklyn with his best friend and the girl he adored more than his mother's pies on a summer afternoon. A tray slapped down onto the table, filled with fries and every other type of ungodly food, and one little thing of ranch and carrots for the tiny framed man scowling at the two; both smiled warmly and sweetly up to him. "Bucky, you bring (Y/n) and I along to the most expensive diners in town to impress these girls you like to swing around with and frankly I am quite tired of it. It's eating us out of house and home!" Steve cried, motioning to his wide eyed sister. She merely laughed and pulled her older brother down by his sleeve. "Stevie don't you worry about something so measly as that! Tonight is the last night we get with Sergeant Barnes before he's off to be a hero, so we best make the most of it! Now hand me those fries I feel like I'll pass out if I go any longer without food." Her brother shoved them to her, lecturing her about how unhealthy they were to eat. "You alright there, doll?" Bucky asked the red cheeked girl, evaluating everything that was off about her that night. He'd been taking notes since he first laid eyes on her from that staircase all the way up to that moment, when it'd become too much for him to ignore anymore. Her lips were pulled down at the corners rather than resting lazily in a smile... Her eyes kept getting lost in thought while staring at nothing in particular. She'd take up her skirts in her fists or clench them together until her knuckles were white in her lap. Her shoulders were slouched when she'd usually hold them back in a confident manner... And he just couldn't help that knocking on his gut that (Y/n) just wasn't feeling well at all. In response, the girl hesitated before popping the fry in her mouth. Her eyes were kept on her hands for an alarmingly long time, and neither of those men failed to catch on to that. After she swallowed that fry, however, she beamed up to him with a smile brighter than any sun, and one that was even faker than any plastic he'd seen; it made him sick to his stomach if he was honest. "I'm dandy as a dandelion!" Steve's skin crawled with the cold lie that came from her lips. "Please don't lie like that, Y/n... It makes me uncomfortable." Bucky sighed with a smile. Her lips pursed in disappointment. "I've been just fine, right, Steve?" She looked to her brother expectantly; his answer less than satisfied the girl now glaring at her brother after the words, "No, Y/n, you've not been. A moping mess slouching around the apartment is what you've been." Came out of his mouth mindlessly. Bucky laughed heartily at the betrayed look that came from his friend. Silfishly, his thoughts began roaming about what could be knocking her so off the mark... And he ventured that perhaps it was him bringing yet another girl with them - she'd always acted a little like that when he did, but never so drastically - and even worse than that, he thought it may have to do with him leaving tomorrow in the morning. Silence rang between the three figures at the table, one carelessly snapping away at carrots, one taking preoccupied, nervous sips of her drinks, and the last staring very intensely at the other. "It's gotten pretty stuffy in here." Steve commented. Y/n nodded in agreement very quickly. "Let's go for a walk, then." Bucky suggested to the two, who gladly began gathering their things to get out of there as fast as they could. "I'll go get-" "They left. Said something about having a curfew, and told me to tell you they had a good time and would write ya." Bucky's mouth drew into a thin line. That was- "How rude!" Y/n screeched as she snatched her purse from the leather booth and stormed between them directly towards the door. "Any person with even a little bit of decency would've said goodbye themselves! For shame! Those young ladies were a bad pick on your part Barnes! And don't you say I didn't tell you so!" She was on a rant just a little ways in front of the two meandering men, both offering her warm smirks. She was a rather passive woman, until someone lit her wick and she exploded like the firecracker she was. "Say, Buck... When're you gonna tell her?" Steve leaned closer to his friend and kept his voice low so the woman in front of them couldn't hear. "Tell' er what?" Bucky stuffed his hands into his uniform pockets and looked back to the flailing woman in front of him. "Tell her that you like her?" His feet stopped moving, and so did his lungs. Like her? Like her! His wide blue eyes turned onto his friends, his mouth open and looking for the words to say to him. "I... I have no idea what you're talking about!" He coughed as he moved to catch up to Steve. A nice laugh left his friend. "Well, I just thought that maybe since you invited her everywhere, watched her every little move, smiled at everything she did, stood so close to her, found random excuses to touch her... Ya know, that you'd maybe like her... Maybe..." Steve raised his eyebrow at him before continuing his interogation, "Love her even?" "Even if I did, Steve, nothings gonna turn of it." "Why?" "I'm off to war. She's here. Plus... Y/n's your little sister. I'd hate to offend you." "Offend me! You? You're my best friend!" Steve rammed his boney elbow into Bucky's rib cage. "There's not a better man I know, and no one I'd trust her more with. Besides... There's not a man she loves and treasures more than you, Buck." Silence rumbled between the two. One having a revalation, the other painfully tired of watching the two love birds dance around each other and avoid every chance to make a move. "Other than me, of course." The blonde added. Bucky let out a loud laugh. At that, the girl locked her fiery eyes on the soldier. "Something funny, Barnes?" "Not at all!" She remained in her spot while he stepped dangerously close to her; instead of backing down she remained firm in her spot, raised her chin, and narrowed her eyes playfully. "You might not be a Sergeant mister but I'll still take ya!" She challenged. Bucky grinned as he leaned down a little closer to her. "Yeah? What'll you do about it, doll?" She was going to bite back at the brunette but Steve called down to the two from the doorway. "I'm going in. I'll catch a cold if I dilly out here much longer. I'll see you in the morning, Buck. Come inside soon, Y/n, can't have you getting a cold either." With that, his small frame was gone from view. The girl stepped up the stairs a little while Bucky stared in wonder; did she truly love him? She must've felt his eyes on her, because she snapped around and leaned to catch his darting blue eyes. "It's everything alright Bucky?" "Peachy!" She raised her brow as she tightened her folded hands on the handles of her purse and watched him intensely. "It's cold out!" He blurted nervously, messing with the hat on his head. "You got assigned to day, right?" Her voice had taken on a much softer chime. Bucky let out a loud breath through his nose. He nodded as he tried to ignore the burning beginning in his upper abdomen. "107th." He answered. "Steve got in too... Special circumstances he says." She quietly mumbled as she kicked the toe of her black heel on the step. It didn't take much examining for Bucky to notice the glazed look taking over in her downcast eyes. Bucky, without thinking much - he never did when it came to Y/n - took a few steps up to her and put his hand on her chin. "I'll protect him with everything I have, Y/n. Always have. Always will." She stared up at him, and he could see she was trying to steel her quivering lip. She nodded and sighed after she gazed into his eyes a little longer before she took her chin from his grip and walked the rest of the way to her door. But she stopped, and Bucky was still there watching her go. "And what about you, James?" She quietly asked. His chest was swarmed with warmth; because of anxiety about the morning or the concern dripping from her eyes, he didn't know. She brought her eyes to his again, "Who will protect you? Will you come back to me, James?" Her voice cracked. It broke his heart to see how petrified she was to see both of them go in the morning. "I promise I'll make it back to you, and with Steve right next to me." She clenched her jaw. "You better, James Buchanan Barnes. You better." She grabbed the door, but hesitated again. He didn't have much time to react other than to draw in a quick breath as she descended the stairs and pressed her lips to his gently. He felt the tremble in hers. Faster than it started, she pulled away... It was a shame he didn't have time to pull her closer. "You make sure you keep that promise. Good night, Bucky." She whispered before she scrambled into her apartment with red cheeks. He stood on those wet steps, staring at where Y/n was, until the cold of the damp night began to shiver in through his sleeves. He'd prayed several times since that night that it wasn't the last time he'd see her beautiful eyes or feel those soft lips - even though she'd chew on them when she was nervous or stressed, he noticed - and carried her picture in his pocket during every battle. He'd come to terms with forgetting everything else about Brooklyn, but not her. He'd forget the sound of dance music, or the echo of music from a cars radio as it passed by, and even the taste of seasoned food... But not Y/n. Her eyes were locked in his mind forever, until they scrambled his memories and finally took her away from him after twenty years.

He let out a sob that was dangerously close to a scream. His friend, the one he only just reunited with, was trembling; it's so out of his character that even Tony zips his mouth shut. Steve clenches his jaw, still trying to comprehend what's standing before him. Y/n should be older now. With white hair and laugh lines, grandchildren dancing around her, apple pies steaming on her counter. But still with those vibrant green eyes, still waiting for them to come home with a smile on her lips. So why are her eyes so dull? Why is her skin wrinkle free, her pink lips in a frown, hair dirty but still deep with color. Why is there a gun in her hand? Why is it pointed at Steve's chest? On her uniform - black and tight on her strong body - burned a symbol that made Bucky want to vomit... "Y/n..." Steve whines, not thinking -maybe even not strong enough - to raise his shield to her; his little sister would never hurt him. Falcon has to step between the blonde and the storm of bullets Y/n’s letting loose from her gun. One set of blue eyes fall vacant, and the other venomous with rage; Steve has lost his final comfort of believing that at least his little sister had a chance, and Bucky can't stop asking himself that same damn questions: How long was she tortured in the same building, in the same way as him? How many times did she cry for him? For Steve? How long did it take for her to break? If he were stronger... If he fought back, could he have saved her? It rattled him to the core that she had endured such horrors, and all of it done just under his nose. Bucky blocks a small punch from the small girl - discovering her to be considerably strong - and searches to catch her eyes. He shamelessly lets his lip contort as he watches those vacant eyes, searching his in confusion; will he ever be able to get her eyes back to the one's he loves?

[unavenged-robin]

(something for your way to work? Have a good day!)

So I kinda want Jons first date to be with someone who ISNT Damian. Like he has the biggest crush on Damian in the world, but he thinks its not reciprocated (cause you know damian and feelings). So this cute boy from his high school asks Jon out and Jon agrees. Jon tells Damian and Damian is just SO JEALOUS. Just grinding his teeth to dust jealous. But he can’t complain, or do anything about it. Some other guy just had the guts to tell Jon, “Hey, you’re cute. Wanna get dinner and watch a movie with me?” While Damian can barely manage a nice thing to say to Jon. (even though the thought of Jon laughing or smiling at a dumb joke keeps him up all night). So what does he do? He tells Jon to enjoy his date and that he’ll see him on patrol the night after his date; calling himself a coward the whole time he writes out the message and sends it.

The next day is just a moping Damian. After training and a shower, its just moping all around the manor. Eating breakfast? Full of sighs. In the library? Titus is sitting in his lap and hes curled around his dog, looking out of the window. Listening to music? Sad songs. 

“Damian?” Dick asked, carefully removing one of Damians earbuds. Damian grunted. “Everything okay, bud?”

“Peachy, why do you ask?”

“You seem…off.” Dick said careful of his words. 

“’M fine.” Damian grumbled, taking his earbud back. 

Tim comes strolling in with some tea for Damian, and ruffles his hair. “Jon’s going on a date because poor Damian here can’t sort out his feelings like the rest of us.“ 

“How do you know?” Dick asked

“Kon told me.” Tim answered, typing something on his phone. “I told him that i’m gonna sabotage his little brothers date.”

Dick perked up and was about to open his mouth until he heard a gun getting loaded. “WE’RE NOT GONNA KILL HIM, JASON.”

“Damnit.”

Stephanie comes skipping in with some pictures, “his name is Clay. What an unattractive name, CLAY. Like Ew. Put a face after that and you have a villain name. ANYWAYS. Cute kid. Gray eyes, blonde hair. He’s on the basketball team. So if Mad Dog Jason gets out, make sure he doesnt break his wrist.” Stephanie relays all of this information while stroking Damians hair. Damian would normally hiss and growl and promise her demise, but today he just lets his head rest on her hip. (Damian ofc cant hear anything. He just thinks his siblings + steph are just keeping him company)

“Fuck you, Steph.”

“Don’t you wish, honey.”

So it’s friday night. Jon and Clay are at a diner. (Damian is patrolling with batman. B notices that Robin is a little more aggressive tonight than normal) 

Jay steals Clays wallet making Jon pay for everything.Jon doesnt mind. Hes just a little annoyed cause Clay said it was his treat.  

Since Jay still has Clays wallet, Jon also has to pay for the movie tickets. 

Anytime the other boy wants to touch Jon, hand over shoulder holding his hand Dick shocks him. 

Jon is miserable. This was a shit date. Why did he even come? Even during dinner he realized they had nothing in common besides sports, and the fact they’re in AP Calculus. And they’re not even on the same sports team! (Jons in baseball) Every conversation he had with him was an absolute bore, He seemed so charming in school! Jon sighed as they finally pulled into the driveway to his house in metropolis. 

“Sorry about tonight! I guess, I just wasn’t on my game.” Clay laughs. Jon tried not to cringe at yet another sports reference. 

“We all have our off days.” Jon smiles, ready to put this dumb date behind him. 

Clay holds his hand, and Jon finds himself desperately wishing that it was someone else holding his hand. Someone hes trying to get over. Someone whos too tied down to crime fighting. Someone whos passionate about animals and art and literature and his city. 

“Thanks for being so understanding.” Clay says leaning forward. Jon found himself leaning forward too. The hell with it, maybe at least the kissing will make up for this lousy excuse of a date. 

Tim hacks the boys car before his and Jons lips touched, making the car alarm go off in the dead of night. The batboys tried not to snicker, that would tip off a certain someones super hearing. 

Jon grits his teeth and get out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.” He calls over his shoulder and retreats into his house. 

Jon sees his mom waiting up for him in the living room. “Hey, honey.” Jon super speed runs to her and plops himself on her lap. 

“Im taking your date went bad?”

“Oh you have no idea.” he mumbled into her lap, holding her closer.

“Think of it this way, this just sets the bar for all of your other dates!” Lois said, carding her fingers through her sons thick black hair. 

“Mom, anything lower than this would be my date not showing up. And honestly, that’s still probably better than tonight." 

Lois had to laugh at that. 

"I dated the captain of the basketball team when I was your age too.”

“Howd it go?”

“God awful. He ran off with god knows who in the middle of our date. I had to walk home myself.”

“What happened after that?”

“I started dating your father.”

“Think he asked batman to scare the other guy off?”

Lois laughed at that. “Somehow, I dont doubt it." 

Lois pressed a kiss to Jons cheek and went off to bed. He could hear his Dads thunderous snores as she opened the door to their bedroom. 

Jon pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Damian. 

Worst date ever, and it was my first one. Tell you about it on patrol tomorrow. Night!

Damian opened the message as he waited for the GCPD to pick up the would be bank robbers he just busted. A big smile spread across his cheeks. Looks like Damian will get his second chance soon.

BONUS: when Batman and robin strolled into the cave, Tim, Jason, and Dick were all napping in random spots with their suits on. 

"They didn’t tell me they went on patrol.” Batman frowned. The pieces clicked into place for Damian rather quickly. He had to hide a smile from his father. He also made a mental note of finding out ways to thank his brothers. 

@desolationofzara OMG I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! And i legit laughed out loud, thank you so much darling!

[arazialotis]

Drunken Confessions

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: Around 1400

Summary: The reader is an SPN actress attending a convention and reveals secret feelings at her panel.

Thank you @misguidedconqueress for editing and reviewing! I couldn’t do it without you!

Obviously I intend no hate or ill wishes to him or his family. This is purely just for writing and wasting my time.

This is purely for a hobby and my enjoyment. Maybe some of you will enjoy it too. I am by no means a writer so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or grammatical/spelling errors. I appreciate any feedback or suggestions!

----

“Goooooood Morning Cleveland!” You shouted, running out on stage.

The crowd started cheering and certain members started yelling back at you.

“Wait, what? Minneapolis?” You giggled into the mic. “And it’s not morning.” You looked at your watch. “Where have I been the past 24 hours?”  You asked rhetorically. “Alright, so we're going to do this thing, thankfully a few of you showed up....” You looked to your left. “Hey, darling.” “Umm.. oh my god, I just want to say…” The fan started.

“Oh, I remember you... how’d our picture turn out, love?”

She giggled nervously. “Pretty good.” “Only pretty good?” You scoffed. “Come on, let’s take another one..” You waved her up and did a quick selfie before giving her a hug. “I’m sorry, I didn’t answer your question. Did you ask a question?” You asked after she returned to her seat. “Oh well, next?”

“Hey, you’re amazing, and I love how you portray your character…”

“Thank you.” You chirped sipping on your water bottle.

“I was wondering where you see her going?”

You squinted your eyes trying to focus your fuzzy brain on what you could actually share. “Well... she’s not going to die… that I know of… yet..” The crowd giggled. “So with that in mind, you know she’s not going to hook up with Sam anytime soon.”

“What about Dean?!” Someone yelled from the audience.

You stuck your tongue out and blushed. “No romance plots in the near future… unfortunately. But you know, I think she’s stuck out as a strong, independent lead, so I think she is going to have to learn soon how to depend on others.”

The next girl came up. “Hi… I love your water bottle.”

“Thank you.” You showed your Wayward AF water bottle off. “It’s not water… yes, it is! I’m going to get in so much trouble today.” You bantered back and forth with yourself before taking another sip, squinting one eye. “What’s your question sweetheart?”

“So, I have this theory that your character is hiding something…” She started.

“Oh, we’re all hiding something love, but go on, what’s your theory.” You placed your fists under your chin eager to hear her thoughts.

“I think she might not be human…” The girl stated hoping you would expand.

“That would be fun, wouldn’t it.” You wiggled your eyebrows but thankfully managed to keep other information contained.

“So if you could be a supernatural creature on the show, what would you be?” She asked.

“Hmmm… is there something the Winchester’s don’t kill…  What about a mermaid? I don’t think there’s been a mermaid yet?! I’ll go with that. What about you?” “Umm.. probably a werewolf.”

“Ah yes, I too become a monster once a month…” You rubbed your hand on your forehead and gritted your teeth in a smile trying to hold yourself together.

Questions continued left and right, the hour seemed to fly by. You were nearing the end and had successfully managed to keep a partial filter on most answers.

“So, all information says you’re currently single, but I was wondering if you are seeing anyone or have a current crush?” “Jensen, I’m totally crushing on Jensen right now.” You blurted out without being able to hold anything back. The crowd completely erupted. “Oh shit!” Your cheeks turned bright red. “I.. um...  I guess you caught me at honesty hour… but I mean who doesn’t have a crush on him, he’s fucking smokin’.” The crowd roared in agreeance. “But guys… there’s so much more to him… he’s honest, he’s kind, he’s sweet, he’s brilliantly smart, he’s passionate about the things that matter…” The audience awed. “But you can’t tell him, okay?” They stayed silent. “Okay?” You asked sternly and a few passively agreed. “I’m so screwed.” You whispered to yourself. “We should just get on with this.” You looked at the next guest.

“Well, I was going to ask what your favorite makeup products were, but now I need to know what your hangover cure is.” The fan confidently stated.

“It’s that obvious…” You laughed. “Well, I’m going to need it tomorrow morning. So, I usually deep fry some hash browns, with some sunny side up eggs, avocado and sriracha. That doesn’t usually make me feel better. It’s just delicious. So that and then Gatorade nonstop… It’s not a great cure, you got any tippers?”

“Bloody Marys.” The fan responded.

“Keep the party going, I like that.” You agreed.

At that Rob and Richard walked back out on stage. “How was the apple juice, Y/N?” The crowd laughed at Richard’s question.

You sipped on the empty bottle. “It was water…” You defended.

Richard took the bottle from you and sniffed it. “Wooo, that is some strong water.” “Shut up.” You playfully grabbed it back.

“Can you give Y/N a big thanks for being here tonight?” Rob interjected to the crowd who cheered.

“Wait, hold up… you do a song for everyone else.” You argued.

The rest of the band walked out. “Only if you promise not to do any singing.” Richard teased you as Rob consulted with the group.

You made a face at Richard as Rob and the band started. “Pour me something tall and strong, make it a hurricane before I go insane. It’s only half past twelve but I don’t care....” “It’s five o’clock somewhere!” You sang with them. “Thank you New York!” You yelled taking a bow. “Minneapolis!” And ran off the stage as they continued playing.

You were walking down a private hall, back to your room to mentally prepare for a round of autographs, your last event of the con. Jensen was walking down the opposite side of the hall with Clif.

“Hey Y/N!” He greeted you full of excitement crossing the hall getting closer to you. “How’d your panel go?” You averted your gaze but quickly made a full recovery. “Peachy keen, jelly bean.” You chirped.

Jensen chuckled. “You’re drunk, aren’t you?”

“Very.” You unashamedly confessed.

“Y/N you can’t be drunk at a con.” He playfully scolded.

“Oh okay… Rome.” You stuck your tongue between your teeth.

He bit his lower lip. “Rome doesn’t count.”

“Shit, If I had know that a few months ago…” You giggled.

“Jensen!” Jared interrupted from down the hall, not seeing you behind Jensen’s tall frame. “Dude! Did you see anything from Y/N’s panel?! She likes you man!” Jared laughed.

Your eyes widened and you turned around completely embarrassed as Jensen shot you a quick look before redirecting his attention back to Jared.

Jared was looking at a post on his phone. “And I quote.. He is fucking smokin’ but there is so much more to him… you got to make your move, man!” Jared finally looked up slapping Jensen on the shoulder. “Oh Y/N… I didn’t see you there.”

You halted in the middle of sneaking away, turning back towards them. “Oh, you know how I am, stirring up drama to keep the fandom alive.” You denied any true feelings for Jay but couldn’t help but notice the quick look of disappointment on his face.

“That sucks, cause Jensen totally digs you.” Jared blurted out.

“Dude.” Jensen chided Jared. “Is everyone around here drunk today?” “Whose idea was it to take shots at lunch?” Jared reminded Jensen.

“One… I said one shot.” Jensen argued.

“Jensen, is it true?” You interrupted.

“Yes.” Jared and Jensen answered at the same time.

“Yes, it’s true I only suggested one shot.” Jensen joked.

“You know what she means, man. Yes, he’s been doe eyed over you even back in the day when you only were an extra.” Jared babbled.

“Yeah, okay, he’s right… I kinda... have a thing for you.” Jensen confessed.

“Well, I guess I kinda have a thing for you…” You played coy.

“Then go on you two!” Jared wrapped his arms around the both of you. “Get a room, make babies, all that stuff.”

You peeled Jared’s arm off of you. “Let’s maybe start with dinner?” You suggested.

“Dinner sounds great.” Jensen agreed.

“It’s a date.” You blushed with anticipation. “Umm, but uh, you should get going, I think your panels starts soon.”

“Oh man, this is going to be so fun.” Jared mischievously bounced down the hall.

“See ya around sweetheart.” Jensen ended before following after Jared.

“It’s a date.” You repeated softly to yourself. You took another sip from the empty water bottle before kissing it. “Thank you pinot grig.”

Tags:

Forever Tags: @nanie5 @sea040561 @crushing83 @mogaruke @deanwinchesterforpromqueen @ginamsmith @jotink78 @fallen-castiel @sup3r-pott3r-lock3d @dancingalone21

Jensen x Reader: @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @jensen-gal @be-amaziing @mizzzpink @akshi8278 @beatlesobsessionlove @tiffanycaruso @mywillfulwinchester

[its-love-u-asshole]

Delirium [Fic]

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru 

Rating: T

Summary: Iwaizumi thinks about how his first relationship feels, about how new and overwhelming every sensation is, no matter how long he’s known his partner. 

Written for @peachie-o for the @iwaoiexchange ! I didn’t feel completely comfortable writing for your AU since I was unfamiliar with it, but I hope this qualifies as something sappy for you :D 

AO3 Version

His hands twitched as he fought to keep his gaze forward, perfectly aware of the eyes staring a hole into his head from a few desks away.

Don't do it. Don't look at him. You were doing so well for...

He glanced at the clock, squinting at his own failure.

Okay. Five minutes. You were doing so well for five minutes.

Fuck.

Iwaizumi steeled himself, straightening his back as he watched the hands of the clock tick agonizingly slow, not even realizing how his head began to turn away absentmindedly, like a magnet to iron. Still, he tried to make himself believe he was in control. He had twenty more minutes to endure. Twenty more minutes, and then he could look--

Nope, he looked.

But ah, it was worth it each time (and hell, that was probably why he kept looking in the first place, damnit). Oikawa's head perked up when their eyes met, head rising from where it had been lying on his desk, and Iwaizumi's hands clenched tighter against the wood on his own. He forgot how to breathe, which was fucking stupid, because he'd looked at Oikawa so many times before, especially today. They'd known each other since they were kids, he would know Oikawa's face anywhere, so it really was no big deal. Him and his stupid hair and playful grins, his obnoxious pouts and unnerving stares. Nothing new there, nothing special.

Not at all.

Nope.

Iwaizumi exhaled shakily as Oikawa threw him a little wave, teeth biting into his lower lip to hide a shy smile. Shy. Oikawa and the word shy did not go together. Should not ever, because obviously it was on the list of Iwaizumi's previously nonexistent weaknesses.

Not a big deal. Shy Oikawa? Pft. Who cares? So dumb.

He kept staring, because he wasn't on the volleyball court, and his strategy for survival wasn't operating like it was supposed to. Oikawa squirmed in his seat, mouthing a silent 'hi,' before tugging on a stray strand of his laboriously styled hair, his wide eyes holding the comfort and warmth of cocoa and how the hell was he supposed to ignore that?

Iwaizumi held back a groan, sighing as he smiled back with his own wave, and the grin he was rewarded with made it all worth it, even if he did get scolded by the teacher for the third time in the past hour.

He didn't want to think about how practice was going to go. He shuddered, picturing all the smacks to the face which would surely happen. All because of Oikawa, someone he should be completely used to. Oikawa, who was his best friend, and first crush, and now his boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

The memory of the previous night resurfaced, cradling him in a unique feeling of giddiness and comfort all at once.

"Iwa-chan, don't you know? You can officially call me your boyfriend now!" Oikawa said, flipping onto his stomach as they shifted on Iwaizumi's tiny bed, hands never leaving each other's. He had that smug grin on his face, the one Iwaizumi usually tried to playfully knock off him, but he never got the chance.

"Don't you feel lucky?" Oikawa buried his head into the pillow, tufts of soft hair splaying out as his voice came out muffled and small, completely unlike the setter. "I do."

The taller boy then shifted up on his elbows, as if anticipating the hands which began to reach out to him, and they fell against each other. Iwaizumi scolded him, if only to cover up his own embarrassment, but still refused to let go of the boy in his arms until he heard his parents come home.

He'd waited so long for this, and now that he had it, it was almost terrifying, how much he never wanted to give it up.

"Yeah, me too."

Iwaizumi swallowed, and it all came rushing back, all the years since the start of middle school, back when he'd first come to the realization that he liked Oikawa as more than a friend. This over determined, insecure boy, who grated on his nerves constantly, was simultaneously the person who put the stars in the sky for Iwaizumi.

Needless to say, the transition into puberty with that knowledge had been very awkward. Sleepovers and moments of closeness, days at the movies, all of it had taken on such new emotions. Not to mention high school, when Oikawa had begun to get more than a reasonable amount of confessions from girls...

Not like he ever accepted them, for reasons very obvious now.

Iwaizumi felt the muscles in his face twitch upwards without his permission, and he wiped at his mouth stubbornly. If anyone on the team saw him like this, he'd get interrogated for sure.

But damn it, it was so hard to not be deliriously happy right then.

The thing was, Iwaizumi had never thought much about the intricacies of relationships. No, not how they happened. He knew how they happened. Flirting, maybe friendship to start, dating, all the typical movie bullshit. All guys his age knew about that stuff, whether or not they actually wanted any of it outside of the physical realm...

But no, it wasn't that stuff which was overwhelming him now, it was the details which were causing him to feel on the verge of exploding. All the emotions and jitters which were so densely packed into each interaction and touch, all the nervous thoughts and clammy palms. The way people seemed to know certain things about their partner, from anxious ticks to mannerisms, or signs of mood, just from familiarity and routine...

The closeness....the random surges of fondness and delight, it was so much more intense than he'd ever realized.

It wasn't like he was averse to romance in any way, and sure he'd pictured himself having a partner at some point in the future. It was actually a nice idea, whenever he'd taken the time to sit and think about it, his pining for his best friend aside.

What were the cons after all? There would be someone, always by his side, not afraid to challenge him but still supporting him throughout every major step of his life. Someone to come home to, and spoil, and be their rock. Someone who accepted him, and who he could count on, and do the same in return.

Iwaizumi covered the smile growing on his face again with the back of his palm as he stared at the board, not taking in any of the teacher's words whatsoever. They had a quiz tomorrow, he was pretty sure, but it was as if he'd forgotten everything he'd ever known about math, right down to simple addition.

No, there was no room for other thoughts, everything unrelated to his current fixation was immediately expelled from his mind like garbage. There wasn't room for anyone else, except Oikawa.

Tooru.

His boyfriend, Oikawa Tooru.

Yeah, it definitely had a satisfying ring to it, not that he'd ever tell the brunet.

The thing was, he'd already had all those thing, for as long as he could remember. The support, the companionship, the trust. Oikawa had been his partner for a long time, all they'd been missing was the ability to touch, to kiss, and now that they had that too...

It was irresistible.

Which was why he was so damn distracted. No one had ever told him his first relationship would be this way, regardless of if the one he dated happened to be someone he'd seen every day since the age of six. He still felt nervous, still felt ecstatic and shy whenever Oikawa giggled or so much as looked his way. Iwaizumi felt completely love drunk with someone he'd been enamored with for a good four years, all because they'd finally made it official last night.

It made no logical sense, made him feel weirdly powerless and stupid, but he couldn't control it. Couldn't control it because things were different now, different, yet totally the same. Oikawa was his to hold and cherish, to act on with desire and affection. That was the new part. As for being his best friend, the one Iwaizumi could turn to whenever he needed to...

He glanced back just as class was dismissed, watching as Oikawa stood up from his seat with lightning speed to trot over to where Iwaizumi sat, as bubbly and excited as ever. Slowly, so that no one could see, the brunet linked their pinkies together underneath the desk, eyes softening in a way which was meant solely for Iwaizumi.

And well, nothing had changed there.

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

Off Limits (Skam - Chris x OC) Part 19

Pairing: Chris x OC

Synopsis: Mara Magnusson has always had everything she ever wanted in her life, except for one thing. The boyish charm of her brother’s childhood friend had wrecked her poor heart and ruined her for any other guy – you can trust her, she has tried. She could see the way he looked at her, though she knew there were rules about not hitting on your best friend’s little sister. Luckily for her, there were no restrictions when it was the other way around.

Word count: 4.3k

A/N: I already apologize plenty of times because it took time to write this chapter, and I’m doing it once again: I’m sorry. I had a crazy busy last couple weeks and I really wanted it to be a quality chapter (which I’m not even sure I achieved in the end) but here you go anyway. It’s not the end. It’s the longest part so far with 4.3K words.

MASTERLIST

 Part 18 <<< >>> Part 20

           Chris wanted to ask her again if she meant what she told her brother, but the next day everything seemed to move in fast motion from the moment Mara woke up to that when they arrived at the apartment. Not one second of privacy presented itself and Chris was resigned to not get an answer anytime soon since he highly doubted William would leave Mara out of his sight until she was fully recovered.

“I feel great!” She assured them both when they gave her a suspicious look upon hearing her tell the nurse her headache was gone.

           So what you have to understand by 'until she was fully recovered' is 'until William decides she's fully recovered'. Chris kept his mouth shut and didn't voice his disagreement with William's way of handling the situation – he couldn't risk causing yet another fight with his best friend right after they reconciled.

           The moment Mara sat on the edge of her bed and stood up to go change in the bathroom, William extended his arms for her to lean on him in case she felt dizzy, and Chris repressed a snort when he saw the way she sighed and rolled her eyes at her brother's over protective behavior. She wasn't exactly a cry baby, Mara wasn't one to complain about anything unless it was extremely serious or it was happening to someone she cared about. If Chris gets a split lip it's the end of the world, but she could be coughing up blood and she would still crack a joke and claim everything was peachy. This made her simultaneously brave and unreliable when it came to self-care.

“I don't need you to get dressed,” she huffed and walked past William as though he was merely an annoying child trying to get her attention.

           She did look great - Chris had to give her that – but then again, he always thought she looked great. His state of utter awe of his girlfriend backfired since he didn't decipher the symptoms of her unwellness until it was too late. However, they both went through some tough times and getting up and going to school was the closest they got to being fine in weeks, therefore Chris wasn't being too strict with himself.

           Besides, he was still pumped by what he overheard the day before – it kept him awake most of the night – and he couldn't wait to finally have a moment of privacy with Mara to question her about it. Frankly, he couldn't picture Mara saying something like this lightly, which both thrilled him and scared him to fucking death. Somewhere, deep down, he knew that she meant it but he still needed to hear the words from her mouth.

           Somehow he thought he was – or became – better at reader her reactions than her very own brother. William disregarded her attempts at doing things by herself and carried her bag, opened the doors for her and even went as far as to fill in her the hospital papers for her – all of which annoyed her to no end. Not that she didn't enjoy the treatment, she merely disapproved the reason behind it.

“I hope you don't think your sudden change of behavior regarding Chris and I will make me forget how much of a douche you've been for the past weeks. Almost two weeks of giving me the cold shoulder won't go away with a little kindness, I demand an explanation and it better be a good one – with introduction, development and conclusion,” Mara warned William who fought back the urge to smile at that and accepted the challenge.

“It's not a joke man,” Chris told him when Mara was out of earshot. “She's pissed, you have no idea.”

           William wanted to object that he did have an idea, but even he knew that he couldn't be sure about it and therefore may be wrong. Mara was pissed, that was for sure. The question was: to what extend? She was pretty nice to him yesterday – mainly due to her attempt to sooth his worries and her concussion – but now that she was back in shape, who knew what she would make him endure to redeem himself?

“And you're not?” Will asked eventually, turning to his friend as he signed the papers to leave the hospital – he hated this place.

“Oh I am, believe me. But I'm not nearly as imaginative as her when it comes to finding original ways to punish you for being an ass and hiding stuff from us.” At that, William cocked a brow. “I mean- we did too, but it didn't have any consequences, at least, not like this.”

           At that, William looked down at his feet. Mara interrupted their conversation and told them to hurry up, gesturing them to walk faster – she probably hated this place even more than William. Since William came in the ambulance with Mara, the three of them drove back to the siblings' apartment in Chris' car, in an rather awkward silence, until finally they stepped inside and Mara began to blurt out hundreds of questions. Except that William didn't answer any of them until he decided she was safe and sound. Chris played a small role in the whole thing, though Mara still felt like they were being dramatic about the situation. The boys kept looking after her as though she were a poor, fragile little thing that needed to be handled gently and taken care of.

“Guys, would you please stop babysitting me? I'm perfectly fine! If you're just trying to postpone this conversation William, you'r-” Mara began but she was interrupted mid-sentence.

“You hear what the nurse said: you're too stressed. Why don't you just relax for today? We can't still talk about it tomorrow, I'm not going anywhere,” William said in this scolding brotherly tone that caused Mara to once again roll her eyes into the next dimension.

           Chris still didn't budge or say anything, but he shot him a surprised glance. Was he chickening out of this? It's not like it could be any worse at this point, Mara's opinion of her brother could only improve if he came clean – though she was most definitely going to smack him upside the head a few times and yell a bit before coming around.

“This is me being extremely relaxed Will, now if you want to see a not-so-chill version of me, you just keep up that attitude and we'll get there in no time.”

           His eyes darted toward Chris, begging for help but the latter simply raised his hands and said, “That's your mess to clean up!” He took place next to Mara on the couch and leaned his elbows on his knees before joining his hands, patiently waiting for William to start speaking.

           If they let Mara do, she would be pacing around the living room like a caged lion, but instead she was tucked in a blanket.

“Listen,” she started, first looking at Chris then shifting her gaze back to William. “I'm sitting on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, surrounded by pillows. I couldn't even hurt myself if I tried and I'm feeling fine, you can't use my health as an excuse not to tell me. So now you sit down, and spill your guts before I lose my cool.”

           In a rather mechanical movement, William sat down on the couch facing Mara and Chris. They weren't touching in any way, they weren't looking at each other, yet he could sense how close they were – they moved according to each other, their body language spoke volumes right now. They were like two magnets and he felt dumb for never noticing before – unless it was new? There was no way to know now.

           Mara really wasn't as threatening as she would have liked to be at the moment, wrapped in her blanket like a burrito. Nevertheless, her fiery glare finished to convince William that Chris was right: she was beyond pissed, and he needed to talk – now. Chris was infinitely grateful not to be on the receiving end of Mara's death glare – for once. Her patience had clearly worn out somewhere between the first time she asked her brother to explain himself and the hundredth time.

“I don't even know where to start,” William eventually said, gulping down thickly.

“The beginning,” Mara said in a click of her tongue as she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Then I should probably start with an apology. I owe you both one, especially to you Chris,” William said and turned to his friend. “When I told Mara that none of my friends were good enough for her, I didn't mean it in a malicious way, I only wanted to keep her from getting hurt but it was shitty nonetheless. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry-” he continued, turning to Mara again. “-for my reaction when you told me you were dating. I realize it was exaggerated but it came as such a shock, it was a serious blow to the trust I placed in you both. I'm not saying it was justified, I just want you to know why I reacted the way I did. I understand why you kept it from me, even if I don't like it. Again, I'm sorry.”

“Thank you,” Mara said with a nod, gracefully accepting the apology but not answering with the usual “it's okay”, because it wasn't.

“I didn't only come to this conclusion yesterday though. As soon as I realized you had sneaked out through your window and left with Chris I knew I had fucked up. Very badly.”

           Chris snorted and looked away. He leaned back against the couch and it drew Mara's attention to him. Whatever he wanted to say he must have swallowed back because he remained quiet and silently enjoined Will to resume.

“If you had taken your phone with you, I think this whole thing would have turned out differently, but since I had no way to contact you apart from directly going to Chris' place, I decided to give you time to calm down and the next morning, I had an idea. An idea which involved not speaking to either of you for a while,” William finished and waited for a reaction.

“That doesn't make sense,” Mara scoffed, bringing her curled fingers to her mouth in a thoughtful position. “What made you change you mind? Had an epiphany in your dreams?” She asked in a conceited tone.

“I didn't even sleep at all during that night. I was so mad, at you two yeah, but mostly at those bastards the Yakuza. It was all my fault, I knew it before you even told me. The bottle I smashed on of my the guys' head was the reason for my little sister and my best friend to get beaten up, it was unacceptable. They wanted me, and they kind of hit exactly where it hurt most: they attacked the two people I care most about to reach me.”

“Still doesn't explain anything,” Mara snapped at him, growing impatience.

           Chris' hand came to rest on her forearm and it seemed to be enough to make her simmer down a bit and stop being so harsh toward her brother. It was stupendous how they interacted. Mara quickly uncrossed her arms and laced her fingers with his before William continued his explaining, hardly managing to detach his eyes from their joined hands.

“I thought – and I know now it was a flawed strategy – that if they thought you weren't in y good graces anymore, then there wouldn't be any reason for them to hurt you again until I found a solution.”

“Now you're just stretching it out to create suspense,” Mara said, rolling her eyes. “Spit it out, Will. You told Chris, right? Then why can't you simply tell me. Be concise.”

“You asked for the whole story, stop being so impatient!” He protested.

           The two siblings smiled a little at that, as though they had missed their playful banter.

“I push you away because I wanted it to become public. I needed everyone to know – to think – that I turned my back on you. It was the quickest and easiest way I found to make sure you would be spared from whatever shit storm was coming. I planned a fight with the Yakuza to settle our issues once and for good, I was hoping they'd became over confident since they thought I was upset because I just lost my two best friends, I wanted to use it at our advantage. I know I was harsh on you, but I thought it was for the best, I couldn't have either of you involved in this, not after what happened at your date.”

“Your plan didn't even work and you ended up dragging Chris into a fight he wasn't ready for, was it worth letting us think you never wanted to have anything to do with us anymore?” Mara asked, biting her tongue to not say something she would regret. He was so fucking stupid, how could they even be related? A few weeks ago she never would have thought her brother capable of such a thoughtless decision. “You could have told us. We could have played along if that was what you wanted, but instead you made everything a mess!”

“I was still mad okay?!” Will snapped. “I wanted you safe, but I still felt betrayed and I didn't exactly feel obliged to share this with you after what I had just discovered about you two.”

“You were still mad, that you're excuse? Is that why you dragged Chris in the second fight? Because you were mad?” Mara almost spat out, squeezing tight on Chris' hand to help her calm down.

“I'm fine now, there's no need to discuss this fight anymore,” Chris tried to interject to make them both settle down a bit. “I forced his hand, I refused to give way and leave when he not so subtly told me to fuck off.”

“I was rude because I needed you to be pissed enough to leave,” Will sighed as though he had already explained this a thousand times and was tired of saying it. “But you and your obstinate mind got in the way of my plan. If I knew you were still hurt from last week I never would have carried it out, but you seemed fine until-” William paused and Mara finished for him.

“Until he wasn't.”

“Yeah. Until he wasn't. I told Elias to get you home and make sure you were okay, at least until Mara came back.”

“The harm was done I think,” Chris replied. “And he didn't stay, he just dropped me off and waited until I was inside to drive away.”

“I'm sorry for what happened, man,” Will apologized once more. “I knew something was wrong, especially when neither of you showed up at school the next day, but when I tried to call you to explain-”

           The rest of the sentence was left unsaid but they all knew what happened then. Mara and Chris dived their head in the sand and ignored William's persistent calls or texts, Mara even went as far as to punch him when he eventually gave up on trying to reach them on their phone and showed up on their doorstep.

“I was so worried but at least Noora had some good news to give me. Since when are you friends?” Will suddenly asked Mara.

           She shrugged and pouted.

“Not long,” she said. “She's nice, we hit it off at school.”

           A fond smile replaced William's stern expression at that.

“It was horrible to lie to her,” he told her. “But I knew she would react the same way as you and call me dumb before demanding I get my shit straight and talk to you, so I didn't tell her my plan. She was genuinely trying to make things better between us whenever she told me about how she saw you that day and you told her about Chris and you and she thought it was endearing. I had the hardest time keeping it together.”

“Good,” Chris and Mara said at the same time and smiled at each other.

“Why were you arguing with Chris yesterday? You just said you realized your mistake after the fight, then why argue again as soon as we come back to school?” Mara questioned, obviously determined not to leave any unanswered questions.

“That's my fault,” Chris said to her utmost surprise. He looked at their joined hands and only met her insistent stare after a few seconds. “William was trying to explain all of this to me, and I completely flipped and it escalated quickly. It's my fault if you-”

“-don't even say it,” she cut him off. “It was nobody's fault, it was a deadly combination of exhaustion and stress that led to this.”

           And certainly not Chris. He had stood by her no matter what during the last months, whether it be before or after William found out – could it be only ten days ago? - he put up with her shit and more, he loved her for it.

“William,” Mara then called his name and focused back on him. “You tell Noora the truth.”

“I will,” he promised, raising his right hand.

“And no more keeping things from us on the ground that it's for our own good,” she added.”It was fucking stupid.”

           At some point, she had crossed her arms again, as if she needed to physically manifest how mad she was through a defiant stance accompanied by a hard stare. William had seen her eyes shift to Chris several times throughout his explanation. It's not like she could help it, she wanted to see his reaction too – a little part of her was scared that Will's revelations might upset Chris and that they would be back to square one, all mad at each other. But he didn't budge. There was no reaction to gauge because he was expressionless. It was the same story William must have served him the day before after all, but he was still impressively impassible. Actually, it didn't even seem like he was listening to his friend, he eyes were trained either ahead of him or on Mara in this unsettling and intense manner.

“You're a goddamn cretin, William,” Mara declared. “There are so many different ways you could have handled this!”

“That's more or less what I told him yesterday,” Chris said, agreeing with her and chuckling faintly.

“I know I am,” William admitted. “I didn't mean any harm though, it- it all got out of my control real quick and I was in too deep to turn around. The fight happened and I knew I had to tell you everything but you wouldn't listen – understandably so-”

“You should have told us.” Chris shook his head. “Mara's right, we would have agreed to play along, we could have pretended to fight, but this- this,” he stammered and Mara came to his rescue when the words wouldn't come out anymore.

“This was a catastrophe! I'm never letting you make plans on your own again, and once you tell Noora I'm sure she'll agree with me,” Mara laughed bitterly.

“Listen, I know it was a complete failure. But believe me, I thought about other way to deal with this, and my conclusion was that I couldn't both be honest and keep you safe so I made a choice – a bad one, I get it now, but a conscious choice. It wasn't my most brilliant idea but if there was a chance of you not being involved in this whole thing, I had to take it. If I had told you what I had in mind, there would have been no way for me to keep Chris out of the second fight, you know it.”

           Mara brought her lips into a thin line and Chris guiltily stared at the floor.

“The priority was to make sure you were far away if things went downhill,” William concluded.

“It went downhill anyway,” Chris felt the need to point out. “I never thought I'd experience the expression 'beaten to a pulp'.”

“You're not helping bro,” William whined.

“I'm not supposed to help you man, I'm the one you're apologizing to too. Mara looks fine as hell, but I'm still wearing a flippin' black eye and a gash, I look like Scarface in the not cool sense of it.”

“I know, I know, I'm sorry,” William said yet again.

“Alright, alright, I think there's been plenty of apologizing today. All this woke up my damn headache,” Mara suddenly said. “But just so you know, we're far from even. I'll make you regret this for the rest of your life, big brother,” she warned William. “And from now on, I'm officially the decision maker of the Magnusson household.”

“I second that,” Chris laughed.

“That's not fair, you're biased!” Will complained. “Give me a break, it's the first time I fuck up this bad.”

“Last year you forgot to pay the water bill and it cut off while I was in the shower,” Mara said. “And once, you thought it would be cool to surprise mom with a kitten for her birthday, and then it turned out she was allerg-”

“Okay, I get it, you make decisions from now on,” he grumbled and leaned back in the couch.

“Oh wait a sec',” Chris said. “I never heard that shower story before, I want to know what happened next!”

“She mostly screamed at me until I went out to buy water bottles so she could rinse out,” William snickered at the memory. “It only happened once!” He argued when he saw Mara squint her eyes at him.

“Rest assured that from now on if I need anything while I'm in the shower, I'll call Chris.”

           She smirked as she told him that and while Chris' expression mirrored hers; William only made a face between utter disgust and fondness and stood up, pretending to be grossed out and leaving them alone for a little while so they could process all the information he dumped on them.

“That’s bit too much to take in all at once,” Mara said as soon as she was alone with Chris.

“Once you reach rock bottom you can only climb up,” Chris philosophized and smiled. “At least now we’re good with William.”

“He’s still a dick and I’ll get back to him,” she scoffed. “I’m tired, I think I’ll take a nap. You two should go back to class, it’s almost noon and you can’t keep this up or you’ll get expelled.”

“I’m not leav-“

“I’ll be fine, Chris. I’ll stay here and sleep, nothing’ll happen to me,” Mara promised. “We’ll see each other tomorrow at school.”

“I don’t care if I get kicked out, I’m not leaving your vicinity until I’m sure you’re fine,” Chris objected, his stance shifting to a more defensive one. “You can’t make me go.”

“I can’t, but he can,” Mara replied, pointing toward the far end of the room.

           Sure enough Chris’ eyes fell on William, standing cross legged and leaning against the wall, his backpack already swung over his shoulder in a casual manner.

“He can try,” Chris challenged William, leaning back in the couch and crossing his arms on his chest.

His brows flew up, as if he were waiting for Will to make a move and physically drag him away from his sister and out the door. Mara wanted to roll her eyes – she seemed to be doing that a lot more lately – when she saw Chris’ stance. He was sitting in this typically manly fashion, taking more room than necessary on the couch with his spread legs and looking pissed at William for siding with her.

“C’mon,” Mara said and stood up, offering her hand to Chris. “Don’t be a grump, now.”

“I’ll wait by the car,” William told them before exiting.

“It’s my car and you can walk, man, I’m not driving you!” Chris shouted after him, though he was already out of earshot.

           He tore his eyes from the closed door and focused back on Mara whose hands she placed against his chest, effectively making him calm down. But Chris simply frowned and looked down at her.

“Don’t give me that look,” he said. Mara’s doe eyes remained trained on him, knowing exactly what she was doing. “Mara-“ Chris continued with a warning tone, merely causing the small smile on her face to stretch a bit. “This is manipulation.”

“Is it working?” She asked, gently running her hands up his chest to his shoulders, pretending to be smoothing out the folds of his sweater.

           A sound between a groan and a sigh fell from his lips and he visibly relaxed under her touch. She tried not to give in to the triumphant smile that threatening to split her face in two. Her hands once again moved up to his neck before cupping his face in her palms.

“It’s weird to have you back here, the house’ll feel empty,” he blurted out, puzzling her. “I guess we’ll have to go back to not sharing a bed every night and living apart. It’s just weird,” he repeated, as if it was a fact he had trouble coming to terms with.

They had never planned on making it last anyway, but now that things slowly returned to what they used to be, they found themselves sad to part, no matter how short the separation.

“Getting all sappy on me?” Mara teased him.

“If you tell anyone I’ll deny it,” he dead panned. “How long is it acceptable to make William wait in the street?” He wondered out loud.

           The young Magnusson giggled and stood on her tiptoes to gently place her lips against his, finally enjoying the little moment of intimacy they were allowed today. She pulled back just long enough to say, “I think he can wait two more minutes.” Chris smirked against her skin and captured her lips again, eagerly returning the kiss, as though he had been starved of her for far too long a time and he was now determined to make up for it – even if it meant leaving William to wait in the cold.

A/N: If you haven’t guessed yet I’m trying to postpone finishing this story and I stretch the scenes to no end just to spend a little more time with my characters before telling them goodbye. Two more parts planned minimum, and this doesn’t include the epilogue. Bear with me. Love you all <3 (Also I haven’t proof read this, I feel the uncontrollable urge to post my chapters as soon as I finish them)

[this-is-what-makes-us-fandoms]

Troubled Heart {The Thundermans}

hiiiiiii i would like to make a max thunderman x reader request where there dating and shes a little shy and knows he has superpowers and he’s been missing dates because of z-force training and she understands and is quiet about her feelings until one day he comes to her house with flowers or something to apologize and he hears her crying and they make up? sorry if this is weird or complicated lol. if you write this thank you so much!

Pairing: Max Thunderman X Reader

Warnings: None…?

Words: 4.1K

Aye, another request done! Oof, this one took a while, hopefully I did it justice :)

You tapped your fingers gently against the metal table, checking your phone every few seconds to see if you’d gotten any new messages. You hadn’t, just like you hadn’t gotten any messages the whole night you’ve been at Splatburger. Looks like Max stood you up again for the fourth time this week which wouldn’t have been a problem but you hardly ever saw him. And if you did it was for a minute or two before he was dragged away by his sister Phoebe. You knew exactly why too, which is why you couldn’t complain, Max was training for his dream to be on the Z-Force. It was a huge deal in the superhero world as explained by him and Phoebe. And you were too timid to say anything because you didn’t want to seem like a selfish and terrible girlfriend.

You loved Max and you wanted to be a supportive girlfriend but you also wanted to spend time with your boyfriend. You were in quite the dilemma on deciding what to do, bite your tongue and quietly support him or talk to him. The thought of confronting him terrified you, well usually the thought of confronting anything scared you.

You sighed and checked your phone one more time before turning it off, you figured Max wasn’t going to text you any time soon. The two you were supposed to meet here to get something to eat, and since you’ve waited for over an hour, you were starving. You ordered some fries and watched them come down the tube before ordering a chocolate milkshake. A couple minutes later, a waiter came by with your milkshake. You sat there, staring absentmindedly at your milkshake, using the straw to stir it instead of drinking it. Your emotions completely overtook your appetite but you did take a couple long sips to make it look like you drank. And then after you paid and got up to leave, heading home and straight to bed.

It was only seven at night but you were ready to get the day over with.

When morning came, you were bummed that sleep didn’t help with your feelings and you were still feeling upset. But there wasn’t anything you could really do so you just got up and got ready. You took a quick shower and brushed your teeth and washed your face. You brushed and dried your hair, deciding to leave it down for today. You changed into a simple plain white shirt and some blue jeans before heading towards you kitchen. Your family was down there, your dad was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and the newspaper. Your little brother was eating scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon that your mom made. And your mom had gotten up to make you something to eat as well.

“Hey sweetie, what are you feeling today?” She asked, standing by the fridge as she waited for your answer.

“Oh, I’m just gonna have some cereal today,” You told her.

She gave you a confused look, you were always looking forward to her breakfast foods. “Are you sure? Wouldn’t you prefer some pancakes or oatmeal with fruit?”

“Nah, that’s okay. I just want something light today,” You told her.

Truth be told, you still weren’t feeling that hungry but you didn’t want to worry them with your problems. Your mom nodded and sat back down while you got yourself a bowl, milk, and cheerios. You poured some cereal and then milk before putting them back in there spots. After, you got a spoon and your bowl before joining your family at the table. You ate your cereal slowly, unsure if you even wanted to finish it but with your family in front of you, you had to.

“How was your date with Max last night,” Your mom asked.

“He didn’t try anything did he?” Your dad asked somewhat jokingly.

“No dad, Max is a good boyfriend,” You said, rolling your eyes and smiling slightly. “It was great, yeah. I was with Max, it’s always great.”

You didn’t have much enthusiasm in your voice which your parents caught on to. They gave each other a look before your mom spoke up again. “Everything okay with your two?”

“Yup, peachy. Anyway, I should get going before I’m late,” You answered before getting up and placing your bowl in the sink.  

You walked out of the kitchen slash dining room and went to grab your bag and slip your shoes on before leaving. School was a five minute walk away from your house so there was really no way you’d ever be late. Unless you woke up late or were purposely late of course. You just didn’t want your parents asking questions, you were a more private person. When you got to school, you made a beeline to your locker, you were also more of a introverted person. Hardly interacting with anyone unless they approached your first, you were a shy person by nature. Which was funny since Max is a very loud spoken person and he’s not afraid to have all eyes on him. Guess it’s true when they say opposites attract.

As you were switching out books for your first three periods, you didn’t notice a certain someone creep up behind you. “Guess who.” They said in a singsong voice.

You jumped a little from surprise, hearing soft laughter as you turned around to see your boyfriend. “Hey you.” You said, giving him your best smile but you could tell he sensed there was something wrong, he just didn’t know what.

“You okay?” He asked, sincerity in his voice.

“Yeah, I just didn’t get much sleep last night because my math homework was killing me,” You told him, making up an excuse.

“Awe, babe you know I’m here if you ever need help,” He said, slipping his arm around your waist and planting a kiss on the side of your head. It made you smile at how he was such caring boyfriend. “I’m sorry about last night, I promise you I’ll make it up to you.”

“Max, don’t worry about it. I know the Z-Force is your dream so just work as hard as you can for that. But not too hard, I don’t need you getting injured,” You replied, looking up at him and giving him a gentle smile.

He returned the smile and leaned down you kiss you, making your cheeks burn lightly. You still weren’t used to PDA, especially at school, which is full of nosy teenagers waiting for their next big scandal. After a few seconds you pulled away and shied away from him, embarrassed to be kissing in public. Max thought your shy attitude was rather adorable, he loved that about you and was never one to force you to be more open.

“You’re so cute. C’mon I’ll walk you to class,” He spoke, pulling away to allow you to get the rest of your things.

Once you closed your locker and situated your books in your arm, Max laced his hand with yours. Even just hand holding made you red in the face, it almost made you forget how Max kept ditching you. When you got to class, Max kissed you goodbye before you went inside. You really didn’t see Max again until fifth period since his classes were always in the opposite way of yours. At first, he’d always show up after every class to walk you to your next but since he was cutting it close to late, you told him to stop. It took a lot of convincing but when you told him that the Z-Force wouldn’t like tardiness, he stopped per your request.

When the end of fourth period rolled around, Max was patiently waiting outside your class room. He stood there with a wide smile, when you got close enough, he intertwined his hand with yours. You had lunch now, one of your favorite times of day because you actually got to spend some time with your boyfriend. The two of you sat outside, Max took the liberty of ordering food for the both of you. He expected it to be there as soon as the two of you got out there, and it was. Max broke away from you for a quick second to pay for the food and you went to find an open spot. Max had ordered your favorite, Chinese food from your favorite Chinese restaurant.

Max presented you with the food and the two of you started eating. You were happy, maybe you didn’t get to see Max yesterday but this certainly made up for it.

“So since we couldn’t hang out yesterday. How about I take you to see a movie tomorrow? Your choice,” Max offered.

“You’re not, you know, Z-Force training?” You asked.

“Right, well we can work around,” He said.

“That’s what you said last time,” You mumbled.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I said I can’t wait to see Crazy Rich Asians, I heard it’s amazing,” You “corrected”, giving him a smile.

You two went back to eating and before you knew it, it was time for your next class. Max walked you to your class and gave you a kiss before leaving for his. That was the last time you saw him that day, he had sent you text saying he had urgent Z-Force business to attend too. Of course he did.

When you got home, you went straight to your room to do your homework. You turned your phone on silent and put on your headphones with your music almost on blast. You even faced it down so you wouldn’t see when it lit up with some sort of notification. Yes, you were kind of ignoring Max because you didn’t want to say your true feelings. It was childish, yes, but you’d rather that than face your feelings and have to tell Max.

By the time you finished and finally checked your phone, you saw that you had gotten a few messages from Max. Hey, training ended early today. Wanna do something? When you didn’t respond to that one, he asked if you were napping, a habit of yours that he knew of. And when you didn’t respond to that one, he sent: yeah, you’re definitely sleeping. You decided to let him think that and not text him for the rest of the day.

The next day at school he confronted you on your unanswered texts you simply told him that you took a nap and didn’t wake up until later that evening. He believed you, of course, and let it go much to your relief.

“So, are we still on for Crazy Rich Asians?” You asked hopefully but deep down you knew the answer already.

“Ah right, Phoebe wants to try this new technique. She says it’ll better our chances of getting into the Z-Force,” He told you.

You blinked a couple of times in disbelief, then again what did you expect, before forcing a smile on your face. “Ah bummer, but make sure you work hard.”

“Always do babe,” He joked.

“Yeah, well, I’ll see you later,” You said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek instead of his lips before heading inside your classroom.

Max stood outside confused for a few seconds, you always gave him a kiss on the lips. Or rather he gave you one, actually he was surprised you gave him a kiss at all. Maybe you were finally breaking out of your shell little by little. He shrugged his shoulders and left for his own class before he could be late. He didn’t need you or Phoebe on his ass about his tardiness.

When Max came to pick you up after fourth period, he was surprised to see that you weren’t there waiting for him. He thought about where else you could have gone, and there was really one other place you’d be. So, he headed to the library, really hoping that you’d be there otherwise he literally lost you. And when he found you sitting at a very secluded table, he was so glad his gut was right about your location. He approached your table, ready to ask why you left without him.

You felt someone’s eyes on you and with a quick glance you saw that it was Max. You quickly averted your eyes to the textbook in front of you, hoping he didn’t catch your gaze. You didn’t want to make it seem like you were avoiding him, even if you really were.

“Hey, what’re you doing here?” He asked.

“Oh, hey, I was just going to do some studying this period,” You told him.

“Why studying? Its so lame,” He practically whined.

“It’s not lame, Max, it’s what’s going to help us graduate,” You reminded.

“Not me babe, once Phoebe and I are in the Z-Force, we’re set for life,” He explained, taking a seat beside you.

You almost rolled your eyes at his statement, you were so sick of all the Z-Force talk. “Right I forgot, but I still need to graduate.”

“Nope, I’ve got you covered babe,” He said, smiling widely and taking your hand in his.

“My hero,” You said, mockingly.

“Yup, so let's go get some lunch,” He told you.

You looked at him for a second and nodded, there was no way he was going to let you avoid him. You ate lunch and after he walked you to your next class. He gave you a quick kiss before leaving to his class, leaving you with a small ache in your heart.

To your surprise you saw him throughout the day again, he came to pick you up a few times and walked you to your classes. It almost made you forget that he wasn’t canceling on you again, almost. And when school ended, he waited patiently by your locker so the two of you could go home together. You tried to enjoy all this open time he was spending with you, but you couldn’t. You knew that any second now he would leave to go back to his Z-Force training, leaving you to your thoughts of doubt. When you arrived at your house, he walked you up to the front door like the gentleman he is.  

You wanted to ask him to stay, even if it was for just for five minutes but you couldn’t ask him to do that. He’s working so hard on his training you didn’t want to distract him, even if it meant sacrificing your time together. You kissed him goodbye before slipping inside your home, a slight pain tugged at your heart but you ignored it. You knew what it was, it was your heart telling you to talk to Max about his borderline neglect towards your relationship. But you couldn’t, he was working so hard to achieve his goal, you couldn’t just come in a ruin that.

You went straight to your room, ignoring your mom’s greeting, and holed yourself up in your room. You dumped your bag on your desk and crawled into bed. You pulled the covers over your head, leaving just enough open space for air to come in and out. You were starting to think that maybe Max wasn’t ready for a relationship right now.

There was a knock at your door but you told whoever was behind it to go away. They didn’t listen and you heard your door open up, your mom’s voice reaching your ears. You pulled the covers off you and sat up, your mom came in and sat at the foot of your bed. She could instantly tell that there was something bothering you.

“You wanna talk about it?” She asked, something straight to the point.

“Not really but if I don’t, its gonna eat me alive,” You told her.

She remained silent, her way of telling you that she was listening. You took a deep breath before telling her what was on your mind. Of course, you had to word it differently because she couldn’t know that Max and Phoebe were still superheroes. The whole of Hiddenville thought their powers had been taken away and they were now normal people. She listened to you carefully, sensing how hard it must’ve been to have kept this in for so long. Your mom knew you were a rather quiet and reserved person, voicing your thoughts and concerns was harder for you than most. When you finished, you looked at her in need, you needed your mom’s advice on this because you didn’t know what to do.

“This sounds like something you should really talk to Max about. I know it’s not much but this relationship is between the two of you, it should be discussed between the two of you. If you don’t tell people how you feel, then they’ll never know,” She told you.

You sighed deeply and nodded, you understood what she was saying, you just didn’t want to. She squeezed your leg in reassurance, everything would work itself out, before leaving you alone. You grabbed your phone and opened up your messages, staring at the ones you shared with him blankly. You had no idea what to say, let alone if you should say something about this. You knew you had too, you couldn’t just let your feelings be cooped up inside you forever. But you were afraid that if you told him about it, he would realize that he doesn’t have time for a relationship right now. And you being you would agree with him and support his choice without much a fight. You took a deep breath and texted Max the follow: Max, we need to talk. Whatever happens, happens but you just can’t keep this inside forever.

You set your phone down and hid back under the covers, terrified to see any sort of response. What if he does want to break up with you? The thought alone broke your heart and brought tears to your eyes, and before you knew it, you were silently weeping.

Max and Phoebe were in the middle of an intense training session when he heard his phone go off. He recognized the ring tone, it was the one he set for you. He stopped in the middle of fighting, earning an annoyed look from Phoebe.

“Max, seriously?” She asked.

“Yeah seriously, its {Name}, she wouldn’t text unless if it was urgent,” He said, dismissing her annoyed tone.

“We need to talk? What does that mean?” He asked out loud.

Phoebe stood beside him and read over his shoulder. “Maybe she realized she could do better and wants to break up.” She joked.

“What? You don’t actually think she wants to break up, do you? I mean I know we haven’t exactly been able to go on dates but she said she’s fine with it,” Max started rambling, panic setting in.

“Max, relax, she loves you for some odd reason. She wouldn’t just break up with you because of this,” Phoebe reassured him.

“Nope, I can’t take that chance,” He said before taking off.

“Wha? Max get back here, we’re not finished,” She shouted after him but he was already out of sight.

Anxious and scared at what 'we need to talk' meant, Max stopped along the way to get you a bouquet of flowers. If you were thinking about breaking up, then maybe he could convince you not too with his actions. He waited a patiently at your front door, uneasy at how things would turn out. Your mom answered the door and told him you were upstairs in your room. He thanked her before rushing off to you, stopping once he was outside your door. He stood there for a minute or so, composing himself and thinking of what he would tell you. He heard light sniffling from the other side of the door and automatically knew you were crying. He opened the door and rushed inside to see you laying in bed, in a little cocoon as you watched reruns of your favorite TV show.

You looked away to see who the intruder was, only to see Max standing in front of you. He had a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a distraught look on his face. He was in workout attire and looked sweaty from his training.

“Max, what’re you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be training?” You asked. You sat up in bed and shed off your little blanket cocoon.

“I was and then I got your text message. Are you okay? Is something wrong? Were you crying?” He asked worriedly.

You sniffled and broke his gaze, self-conscious about telling him what was on your mind. He walked closer to your bed and sat down beside you, presenting you the  flowers. You smiled warmly and took them, feeling even more selfish now for bringing this up. You were about to cry again, fresh tears welling up in your eyes. He placed his hand over your forearm, making you look up into his worry filled eyes.

“Tell me what’s wrong, you’re scaring me,” He said gently.

“It’s stupid,” You whispered, gripping your flowers tightly.

“Nothing you say is stupid, so please, tell me what’s wrong,” He told you, squeezing your arm reassuringly.

“It's just... I feel like you’ve forgotten about our relationship, ever since the Z-Force. And I know it's your dream and all, and I support you, I’m really proud of you and how far you’ve come. But I miss you too. I miss our dates, when I got you all to myself for a whole day. I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to be selfish because you’re working so hard, but I just can’t hold it in,” You explained.

You wiped away the few tears that had fallen and looked down at your beautiful bouquet of flowers. You were waiting for him to reprimand you and your selfish thoughts. To tell you, you were being silly and that he didn’t have time for this. Hell, you were even waiting for him to realize that he didn’t have time for such a need girlfriend and break up with you. But what you heard come out of his mouth was the exact opposite of that.

“You’re right, I’ve been neglecting our relationship. This whole time you’ve been by my side, supporting me, when you could’ve just left. You deserve better than that, I’m surprised you’re still with me, because you could do a lot better.”

You looked up at him in shock that he would say something like, he was completely wrong. Max is the better you can do and no one will ever be able to beat him. “Max, that’s not true.”

“No, a good boyfriend would know when his girlfriend is feeling this way. All I can say is, I’m sorry. I promise you that’ll I pay better attention to you, to us. I’ll make Phoebe cut back on training, I mean between you and me, we have this thing in the bag,” He said, earning a smile from you from that last part.

“You don’t have to do this, I’m okay. You just worry about the Z-Force, I know everything’s going to work out,” You told him, hating that he was worrying about you.

“Yes I do, you’re my girlfriend and you deserve better,” He replied.

You nodded your head, making him grin widely before leaning over to kiss you. You kissed back, feeling much better now that you let that off your chest.

“So, how about I treat milady to that movie I promised?” He asked after pulling way.

“I’d like that…but only after you shower,” You replied, reminding him that he’s covered in sweat.

He nodded in agreement before leaving, telling you he’d be back in half an hour for that movie date. You got up to put the flowers in a vase and got ready for your date with Max, happy that everything was resolved.