#I have to guess what stuff means and try to keep up

[luvergirl-866]

something like love

part - 4

pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd

word count - 5.3k

c/w - language, small amount of angst, some hurt/comfort. also kinda problematic paige but i get her

a/n - guess who’s endo cramps are killing her!! that’s right, me! fml. as usual this is unedited but i’ll come back to edit later! also, i changed paige’s step-dad’s name from tim to dean because i remembered that azzi’s dad is named tim and i felt like that would be confusing lol. also, thank you so much for all the fic recs i got! i’m so excited to start working on them :3

They’re ten minutes into the thirty-minute car ride and nobody has said a word. Country music is playing quietly over the radio, and Dean and Amy keep glancing at each other. But the awkward silence is deadly.

Nobody spoke earlier, either. After Paige dropped the bomb. It was silent for a good minute before Dean had coughed loudly and turned back to the car, getting wordlessly into the driver’s seat. Amy stared at them for another minute or so, giving them no clue as to what was going on in her head other than her ears, which rapidly turned bright red. Finally, she’d shook her head and said, “We will talk about this when we get home,” before following her husband into the car.

As soon as they were both out of hearing range, Paige had sagged, and Azzi’d looked over at her, concerned. Usually, she’d lay a hand on her arm but she wasn’t sure if Paige wanted to be touched, especially by her, so instead she’d said, “Remember, we can leave anytime.”

Paige had nodded stiffly. And then, without looking at Azzi, she’d gotten into the car as well, leaving the door open for Azzi to follow suit.

And now they’re on the road, Paige and Azzi sitting in the back seat like two little kids in trouble. Azzi wants to go on her phone to avoid the awkwardness but her parents raised her to be polite, no matter the circumstances, so here she sits, stiff and awkward while she rides in this car that smells new and fancy and she hates it.

Chancing a glance over, Azzi sees that Paige is still staring out the window, the same thing she’s been doing the whole car ride, and Azzi hates that, too, because Paige only ever gets quiet when she’s bone-tired or truly upset. And Paige got a pretty good nap on the plane.

Based off the way she acted to Azzi’s words before they got on the road, Azzi’s pretty sure she’s doing that thing where she shuts people out because she’s mad or on the verge of tears or thinking too hard. And when she does this she can get mean, because she’s trying to protect herself, and it comes out all wrong.

She’s always done this, been reluctant to open up about the hard stuff, shut out the people who care about her. She and Azzi have talked about it a lot. She once admitted that Azzi was the first person to get her to actually talk about her feelings. But despite Azzi’s way with Paige, and despite the fact that they just get each other in a way no one else ever has, they still have their flaws. Azzi still doesn’t always know the right thing to say. And Paige still gets mean.

This fact keeps Azzi glued to her seat, thinking sidling closer and trying to comfort her best friend would only end badly. Azzi acts like she has a tough skin but often, the things Paige says when she gets like this cut deep, and it ends with both of them hurt. She’s scared to add a fight between the two of them onto whatever will surely go on with Paige and her parents later. So she stays put, even though every bone in her body is telling her to make Paige better.

Azzi has only managed this for maybe five minutes when she glances over again and notices that this time, Paige’s hand is splayed over the middle seat, fingers tapping anxiously, almost like she’s subconsciously reaching over. And that sight alone is enough to get Azzi sliding over, moving Paige’s hand so she doesn’t sit on it. Dean looks at her through the rearview, but Azzi pretends not to notice.

Paige doesn’t look over when Azzi settles in beside her. But she does reach blindly for her hand before taking it and placing it in her own lap, playing with the fingers nervously. Azzi breathes in relief. Paige hasn’t rejected her outright—she can’t be too upset. At least not yet.

They sit like that for the remainder of the ride.

When they pull into the driveway, Paige gives Azzi’s hand a squeeze before subtly shaking herself out and exiting the car. Azzi follows, afraid to be alone with Paige’s parents for even a second.

Before Paige can close the door, Amy calls, “Bring your bags into your room, Paige. And when you’re done come down and talk to us in the kitchen.” There’s a weighted pause. “Alone.”

Paige doesn’t answer, just slams the door shut. Azzi winces.

Azzi doesn’t say anything while Paige opens the trunk, or when she starts aggressively pulling their things out, or even when she slams the trunk shut. No, Azzi keeps her mouth shut, wanting to allow her best friend to seethe in peace, but when Paige slams into her shoulder when she passes her, Azzi doesn’t want to let it slide. “Ow! Paige, what the fuck?”

“Get your bags,” Paige responds gruffly.

Okay, so it’s gonna be one of those times. Perfect.

Despite not wanting to, Azzi does as she’s told, gathering her bags and following Paige to the front porch. She tries not to think about how usually Paige would’ve carried her things for her.

Paige opens the door without a word and they walk inside. The house is nice, open, smells of cedarwood. Paige doesn’t give Azzi a chance to look around, though, instead walking briskly to the staircase, lugging her shit upstairs with impressive strength, and Azzi thanks God she’s in such good shape because she’s practically jogging by the time they arrive at a room at the end of the hall.

“Paige—“ Azzi starts to stay, but Paige cuts her off by throwing her own backpack off her shoulder and dropping her suitcases, as if she’s trying her hardest to make as much a ruckus as possible.

Azzi places her things much more nicely on her usual side of the bed, eyeing Paige cautiously the entire time. It’s the only reason she’s able to catch her before she leaves, anticipating her movements just like she does on the court and darting between her best friend and the door, blocking her.

For the first time in nearly an hour, Paige looks her in the eye, and there’s fire there. “Move, Azzi.”

“No.”

“God,” Paige sighs, “seriously, don’t piss me off. Get outta my way.”

“No, Paige,” Azzi repeats, keeping her feet planted.

Paige stares at her and then shakes her head. “Why are you being so fuckin’ annoying?”

“Don’t,” Azzi says, trying to stop her before she gets too fired up, but it’s already started.

“No, Azzi, you don’t,” Paige snaps. “I knew you were gonna get like this, do your fuckin’ peace and love shit that you think will solve everyone’s fucking problems.”

Azzi swallows hard. It’s been years since Paige went on a rampage like this, and she opens her mouth to stop her, but is quickly interrupted.

“It doesn’t solve anything, dawg. It actually makes shit worse, because it’s so motherfucking annoying having you acting like everything’s fine when you don’t even know.” Paige shakes her head, taking a step towards her. “And that’s the thing, is you really don’t know but you wanna pretend like you do. You don’t know what it’s like to have your mom fuckin’ leave you for some fuckass guy, for her to have new kids outta state and raise them to be hateful just like her. Just like him.”

At this point, Azzi has tears in her eyes, and she attempts desperately to swallow them down. “Did you forget that my dad fucking left me when I was a baby? I’ve never even fucking talked to him, Paige. He doesn’t want shit to do with me.”

“That’s not the same and you know it.” Paige sends her a withering glare, so different from the way she usually looks at Azzi. “You have Tim. You have your mom and your brothers and they all love you so fucking much.”

“You have your dad!” Azzi responds, throwing her hands in the air. “You have Drew, you have Alora!” A tear escapes, against her will, and she wipes it furiously away. “You have me, Paige,” she says, more quietly now. “I love you so fucking much. So you don’t get to take this shit out on me and say mean things to hurt my feelings. That’s not—it’s not fair.”

As soon as she sees the tears welling in Azzi’s eyes, Paige softens, her shoulders slumping, eyes turning on her with guilt rather than venom. “Az, don’t cry.”

For some reason, this makes Azzi more mad, and she turns away to face the door, always having hated crying in front of others. “Well if you say mean shit to me, I’m gonna cry, Paige,” she mumbles, though there’s not much fire to her weak, shaky tone.

“Hey, no, you’re right,” Paige reaches for Azzi’s shoulder, trying to turn her around, but the tears have started now and they’re not going to stop anytime soon so Azzi stays turned firmly away. “Azzi, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“ Paige cuts herself off on a sigh. Her hand falls off Azzi’s shoulder, and for a second Azzi thinks she’s going to walk away, but then a pair of arms wrap tenderly around her waist and Paige’s chin is wresting on her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—I was wrong for that, I shouldnt’ve said any of that shit.” When Azzi doesn’t respond, instead burying her face in her hands to try and hide what she’s sure is an ugly cry, Paige squeezes her tighter. “Azzi, please don’t cry, I’m really sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry, for real. I didn’t mean any of it, I was just so scared about my parents and I took it out on you, I fucked up.”

Azzi nods into her hands, taking a deep breath to try and stop the embarrassing flow of emotion. “I know, Paige,” she tries, but it comes out sort of as a whimper and this only makes Paige circle around to stand in front of her, full-on hugging her now, burying her face in her neck and rubbing her back soothingly.

They’re silent for another moment before Paige says, “I’m serious, Az. I didn’t mean any of it.”

Azzi knows this, fundamentally, but there’s still a part of her that sort of cracked at hearing her best friend tell her that she was annoying, that her efforts to help always fall flat. “You shouldn’t have said it, then,” she stutters, letting Paige hold her close even as her face doesn’t come out of its hiding spot.

“I know, I know, I shouldn’t have. You’re the only person who can ever make me feel better and I—fuck. Azzi, I’m sorry, I can’t believe—I never wanna hurt you.” Paige lifts her head out of her neck to nuzzle into Azzi’s hair, pressing a kiss to the spot just behind her ear. “Never wanna make you cry.” She plants another kiss there, and Azzi’s breath hitches. From the crying or from something else, she doesn’t know.

Sighing shakily, Azzi finally pulls her head out of her hands to look up at Paige, placing her hands at her chest almost as if she’s about to push her away. She’s sure her mascara is ruined by now but she can’t bring herself to care too much. “It really hurt when you shoved me outside, too.”

A pained expression flits over Paige’s face, and she nods, looking almost sick. “Fuck. I’m—I’m sorry, Azzi. I’m so sorry. Is your arm okay? Does it still hurt?”

Azzi can’t take the guilty look on Paige’s face and shakes her head no. It doesn’t seem to relieve much of anything.

Breathing deeply, Paige closes her eyes and then leans her forehead against Azzi’s, bringing her hands up from her waist to stroke over her tear-stained cheeks. “I’m sorry, baby,” she whispers, and Azzi’s knows that the nickname wasn’t a slip-up this time, wasn’t just a habit from their pretending. “I’m really fuckin’ sorry.”

And with that, Azzi isn’t mad anymore. Her feelings are still hurt and the things Paige said are still going to replay in her head for quite some time, but at least for now, Azzi just can’t be mad. Because Paige is going through something she could never imagine going through.

“I’m sorry, too,” Azzi breathes, and Paige rears back, but before she can protest, Azzi says, “about your parents. About this whole…situation.” She looks down at her hands on Paige’s chest, and, deciding she won’t be needing to push her away anymore, she slides them up to her shoulders. “It’s shitty and you’re right, I don’t know what it’s like to be in your position.” She shrugs, swallowing back the last couple tears that threaten to fall, trying to regain at least some of her composure. “I’m going to be here for you, okay? I always am.”

Paige nods. “I know you will.”

“And that means,” Azzi goes on, “you can’t do this again. You can’t take it out on me. You can’t push me away. Because that makes it really fucking hard for me to help you, and I want to help you.”

Paige nods again, more solemnly this time, moving her hands back to circle her waist. “Yeah, yeah, I know, and I’m so sorry for—“

Azzi holds a hand up to Paige’s lips, effectively shutting her up. “Okay, stop. I accept your apology, I promise. Just, show me you’re sorry and don’t do it again, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Paige says. “‘Course.”

“Good.” Breathing mostly even now, Azzi pulls Paige in for another hug.

With a heavy sigh, Paige hugs her back. “We’re in it together, hm? From now on, together.”

Azzi rests her cheek on Paige’s shoulder, the weight of her arms around her, the feeling of her skin and bones, so familiar. “Yeah. Together.”

Paige pulls back just enough to look at her, and when Azzi reciprocates, she’s uneasy to find that Paige is giving her that same new look. The perplexed, maybe enthralled?, almost worried look that has taken over her face more often than can be explained ever since the first time after their kiss. Azzi really wants to work out what it means.

But, as always, Paige corrects herself and it’s gone as fast as it arrived. “We’re good?”

Azzi nods, smiling softly despite herself. “Yeah, P. We’re good.”

—————————————

Paige has been downstairs with her parents for nearly an hour.

From what Azzi can hear from her spot at the top of the stairs, it doesn’t sound to be going too well. The three of them keep going from yelling to whisper-yelling to yelling again, and Azzi swears Amy has cried like five times at this point.

When Azzi hears Dean say, “We just don’t allow sinners in this house, Paige,” and Paige snap back, “Do not use God against me right now!” Azzi figures it might be time to intervene.

Trying to come up with something quickly, she pulls out her phone and dials Paige’s number. She hears Paige’s phone ring downstairs, and the three of them go quiet before Paige says, “Just—one second,” and then there’s a click on the other line and she’s answering. “Um, hi?”

“Pretend I’m your dad,” Azzi says, hoping she’s not on speaker.

“What?”

“Just pretend I’m your dad, Paige. Seriously.”

“Uh, okay.” The line gets a little muffled and Paige says, “It’s dad.” Azzi can hear both Amy and Dean let out audible groans downstairs.

“Okay, now tell them that I—your dad—am offering to fly you home.”

“I…wha—“ Azzi can tell Paige wants to argue but can’t with her parents right in front of her, so instead she sighs and the line goes muffled again. “He’s, um, he’s offering to fly me home.”

Azzi only has a second to hope and pray that Amy shares Paige’s competitive nature before Amy is saying, “What? You told him about this?”

“No,” Paige answers, “he just knows how you’re like now. And he wants Azzi and I to have a good summer, not a shitty one with shitty people.”

“If you want to go back to your dad’s, go,” Dean says, and Azzi’s heart sinks. Maybe this won’t work.

But then, bless her evil, horrible soul, Amy is stepping in. “No. Absolutely not. I will never hear the end of it if we send you to your father after inviting you over. We just…” Amy sighs, and Azzi thinks she can hear her start crying again. “We want what’s best for you, Paige.”

It’s silent for a moment. And then, “Let me be happy, Mom. Let me see my siblings. Let me and my girlfriend have a good trip with y’all.”

Dean interjects. “We really don’t believe in this kind of stuff.”

“I don’t care,” Paige replies viciously. “I love Azzi. It doesn’t matter that she’s a fuckin’ girl. I…” Paige pauses, quite abruptly, and Azzi wonders if something happened. But then she hears a heavy inhalation and a quiet, “I love her, Mom.”

Azzi knows it’s for the act, but she can’t help the way her stomach somersaults, hearing the words she’s always wished Paige would say.

“And it doesn’t matter what you think of it,” Paige continues. “I’m happy. My faith is strong. And what goes on between me and God isn’t your fucking business.”

“Language,” Amy says immediately. But then it’s silent for another weighted moment and Azzi can imagine Amy and Dean sharing that knowing, judgmental look of theirs. Her heart races while she waits for a consensus, and she’s sure it’s 100 times worse for Paige. But after a few moments, Amy says, “Tell your father that you’re staying here with us. Your siblings will be home tomorrow morning. The four of us adults have a reservation at a restaurant tonight, and we’re all going to go.”

“Mom—“

“We will try,” Amy sighs. “Azzi’s a nice girl. We will—we’ll try.” There’s something tired in her voice when she says, “Right, Dean?”

No answer. But Azzi can imagine him nodding gruffly, and a moment later, with no more words from any of them, Paige appears at the bottom of the stairs. She startles a little when she sees Azzi sitting there at the top.

“Hi,” Azzi says sheepishly, finally disconnecting their call. “I was eavesdropping.”

Paige stares at her, and then starts climbing the stairs, a small smile overtaking their face. “Thanks for saving me.”

“I told you I would,” Azzi replies, waiting for Paige at the top. “So. Dinner with your parents tonight.”

“Yeah. I guess.” Paige gets to the second-top step and stays there, so she’s just a little shorter than Azzi.

“Dinner as a fake lesbian couple with your homophobic parents,” Azzi clarifies, and Paige laughs nervously.

“Uh-huh,” she responds. “I think we needa nap before that.”

“Oh, yeah,” Azzi agrees, pulling Paige up to stand with her. “That is an amazing idea.”

——————————————

Azzi is rudely awoken to none other than an old Tyler, The Creator song blasting through the tinny speakers of Paige’s phone. Azzi groans, and she blindly reaches out for Paige to turn the damn thing off, but her hands only find cold bedsheets. Annoyed, Azzi cracks her eyes open and tries desperately to find Paige’s phone, realizing in the process that Paige’s side of the bed is cold. Strange, considering they still have two hours until dinner.

Finally, after probably thirty seconds of this stupid song playing over and over again, Azzi finds the phone tangled up in the bedsheets and slams the off button. It’s sort of pointless, though, because now she’s very much awake and will not be going back to bed.

She sits up in Paige’s bed, rubbing her eyes and looking around the room. The sun is shining through the curtains, reflecting off the mirror above the vanity and showcasing the off-white walls, the pink door to the adjoining bathroom—which Azzi now realizes is in use, the sound of the shower muffled through the door. She hadn’t noticed before because Paige isn’t awfully singing to some Mariah Carey song. Other than the water, it’s dead quiet in there. She must be nervous.

Fiddling with the pink sheets, Azzi feels nervous, too. Usually, merely being in Paige’s space comforts her, but this room—it doesn’t feel like Paige. It doesn’t smell like her, and it’s too pink. There’s no purple at all, actually. And the vanity—Paige has never known how to do much else other than mascara. In high school, she needed Azzi to tell her what concealer was for, and to teach her how to curl her lashes. She certainly wouldn’t have use for an entire vanity dedicated to makeup. The walls are also decorated with cringy, sort of Bible-thumping quotes and paintings of flowers. There’s not a single basketball poster.

No, this room isn’t Paige at all and Azzi feels an ache in her heart, thinking about how out-of-place she must have felt whenever she came to visit as a kid. How out-of-place she must feel now.

Without Paige to talk to, and without her room to comfort her, Azzi settles for laying on Paige’s side of the bed, burying her face in the blankets, and there she is—vanilla, like her hair products, and lavender, like the lotion she wears and the linen spray she uses, because it calms her down.

Azzi thinks she just might fall back asleep, enveloped in Paige’s scent, but then the door to the bathroom opens and steam billows out just before Paige does, wrapped in a towel, hair wet down her shoulders. Azzi only has a second to ogle the water drops adorning Paige’s collarbones before she’s spotted, and Paige gives her a curious look. “You still sleep? I left my phone here so the alarm would wake you up.”

“Yeah, no, it did,” Azzi says, sitting up quickly, before she looks like a weirdo snuggling up in Paige’s spot. “Just tryin’ to hype myself up for dinner.”

Paige gives her a commiserating look. “Me too. I’m shitting my pants, for real.”

“That why you couldn’t sleep?” Azzi asks, stretching out her back and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

Paige hums, bending down to rifle around in her suitcase. “I’on even know what to wear. Apparently it’s some fancy restaurant but I’m not wearing a fucking dress.”

Azzi laughs at that, lifting her hands when Paige shoots a glare over her shoulder. “I’m serious, dawg! And it’s not like I brought a suit or nothing.”

“I think you’re overthinking it,” Azzi says, standing up. “Just wear jeans and tuck a t-shirt or something. You’ll look cute no matter what.”

Paige straights up and gives her a cocky grin. “You think all that?”

“Chill, P,” Azzi rolls her eyes, shoving Paige’s shoulder a little.

“What were you doing on my side of the bed, anyway?” Paige asks, and Azzi can’t help the way she freezes. She’d thought Paige hadn’t noticed.

Trying to cover her reaction, she shrugs casually. “I didn’t know you owned the right side of the bed.”

“Nah, we’ve always had our sides,” Paige shakes her head, taking a step closer. “Why was you all cuddled up in mine?”

“Oh, I dunno,” Azzi says, trying for sarcastic but she can’t even really make eye contact, “maybe I rolled over or something.”

“Please. You don’t move in your sleep.”

“Maybe I do. You don’t know.”

“I think I’ve slept with you more often than I’ve slept alone,” Paige scoffs, taking a step even closer so that they’re practically chest-to-chest. “I know damn well.”

“Okay, seriously,” Azzi says, taking a small step back and stumbling when her thighs hit the bed, “go get dressed, you weirdo.”

“Mm,” Paige says, pretending to think about it. But before Azzi can move away, she grabs her waist and they both fall onto the bed while Paige starts to tickle her like crazy.

“Paige!” Azzi screams, laughing so hard she almost can’t breathe. “Get—off, oh my God!”

Paige is laughing right along with her, and it’s a miracle her towel hasn’t dropped yet. “Tell me the truth!”

“What the…” Azzi giggles and squeals when Paige goes for her armpit, “fuck!”

“I won’t stop ‘till you admit it!”

“Okay, fuck, okay!” Azzi pushes Paige off her, and Paige lets up just enough for her to gasp and say, “It smelled like you, okay? The sheets, they…” Paige has stopped completely now, staring at her with a shit-eating grin on her stupid face, “they smell like you.”

“Uh-huh,” Paige replies, “and you missed me so much while I was in the shower that you needed to smell my sheets?” She jabs her one more time in the ribs, making Azzi shriek, before rolling off her. “You lil creep.”

“It wasn’t like that!” Azzi insists, even though that’s exactly what it was like. “Now, seriously, go get dressed. You got me all wet.”

What Azzi means by that, of course, is that Paige’s damp towel and sopping hair had transferred to Azzi’s own clothes and hair. But Paige can’t be normal about anything, so she looks over and grins slyly.

“Don’t,” Azzi sighs.

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Paige says, sitting up in bed and pulling Azzi up with her. “You don’t gotta be embarrassed. I know I make a lotta girls wet.”

“Stop being weird,” Azzi says, as Paige bends down once again to pull an outfit from her suitcase.

She begins walking back to the bathroom. “I’m not the one who gets turned on by tickling,” Paige calls over her shoulder. Just before she closes the bathroom door behind her, she says, “Don’t worry, we can take care of you after dinner, mama,” and winks at her.

Azzi’s shoe hits the door just as it clicks shut.

—————————————

They drive to the restaurant in silence.

It’s similar to their car ride from the airport, though it is a little less tense than before. Paige isn’t fidgeting too much beside her and her parents aren’t giving each other looks the entire time. That’s gotta be a good sign.

When they arrive at the restaurant, Amy and Dean start chatting idly, Paige and Azzi trailing behind when they walk inside the fancy building and give the hostess their reservation.

It’s only when they’re finally seated that they are addressed.

“So, girls,” Amy says, her voice all forced cheerfulness, “what looks good?”

“I dunno,” Paige mumbles, and Azzi kicks her under the table before saying, “Have you guys ever been here before?”

Amy looks a little startled at Azzi’s voice, but she recovers quickly, looking over at Dean with a forced smile. “Oh, yeah, we come here sometimes.”

Azzi smiles politely. “What do you suggest, then?”

“Um,” Amy says, and then she sort of jerks and Dean winces, and Azzi’s sure Amy has also just kicked him under the table.

Apparently well-trained, he speaks immediately. “We love the spinach ricotta.”

Azzi hums, then nudges Paige. “That sounds good, right?”

“Uh…” Paige looks like she wants to be difficult, but then she sees the warning stare Azzi is giving her and straightens up a little, “yeah, yeah. Sounds good.”

“Wanna share?”

Paige sighs, but luckily it’s barely audible. “Yeah, sure. Let’s share.”

Azzi leaves herself out of the conversation after that, letting Paige answer her parents’ conversation starters. When the waitress comes to take their orders, Paige gets a glass of wine for the both of them. Neither of them really like wine, but it seems classy enough and it might take the edge off just enough that they can actually get through the night unscathed.

It’s not until their dinner arrives that Azzi is addressed again.

“So, Azzi,” Dean says, out of nowhere, “How’s the knee?”

Azzi’s hand goes subconsciously to her surgery scars. “Doing better. PT’s been going good.”

“Good, good.” He leans back in his seat, and Azzi senses trouble. Something about the way Paige protectively rests her arm across the back of Azzi’s seat makes her think she senses it, too.

“You get injured a lot, huh?” He asks.

Azzi sort of hates the way her face gets hot, hoping it doesn’t show up on her brown skin. “I’ve torn my ACL twice, yeah.”

“And your meniscus, right?” he prods.

Without really noticing it, Azzi looks over to Paige, and that’s apparently all Paige needs to jump in. “Hey, let’s not talk about it.”

“Why not?” Dean asks, scoffing. Amy is looking between the three of them nervously. “It’s hard not to talk about. Azzi, you don’t even play basketball at this point.”

“Um,” Azzi replies, her instincts telling her to get hot-headed but with the way Paige is buzzing beside her, she’s gonna need to keep her cool.

“What the hell?” Paige says, her hand going from the chair to Azzi’s shoulder. She looks at Amy. “Mom, you said this wouldn’t happen.”

“Your father is just asking a few questions—“

“He’s not my fucking dad!” Paige exclaims, and Azzi jerks as she’s pulled into Paige’s side. “I already have a dad! He raised me, he loves me, Mom, and he’d never say this shit about Azzi.” Angrily, Paige stands up, tossing a few bills onto the counter and helping Azzi to stand beside her.

“Sweetheart,” Amy says, reaching limply for her daughter while Dean sits beside her looking far too smug. “Paige, where are you going? We’re your ride.”

“We’ll Uber,” Paige responds, wrapping an arm around Azzi’s waist. “I’m not gonna make her sit through your bullshit because you don’t know how to act like a decent fucking human being.”

“He was just asking—,” Any starts, sounding exasperated, but Paige cuts her off.

“You know what he was doing.” She glares at Dean, who shakes his head, smirking. “We’ll go back to the house,” she sneers. “But if this doesn’t change by tomorrow we’re leaving.”

And with that, she takes Azzi hands and leads them both out into the night.

—————————————

Paige keeps it together until they get to the house.

As soon as they’re stepping through the door, she turns away from Azzi and leans down to untie her shoes. Azzi does the same, but she doesn’t miss the sniffling sounds coming from her best friend.

Paige refuses to look at her when they start heading upstairs, and she tries to make a beeline for the bathroom once they close her bedroom door shut behind them. But Azzi stops her, placing a gentle hand on her arm. “P?”

Another sniffle. And then a quick wipe at her face before she’s turning around, trying to look nonchalant but her eyes are red and her lip is trembling. “Yeah?”

“Paige,” Azzi says softly, and Paige crumbles, hands coming up to her face as she starts crying.

Azzi steps forward to hug her, pulling her down to hide in her chest. “I’m sorry, P. I’m so sorry, this—this sucks.”

“I’m sorry,” Paige replies, voice all small and muffled in a way that makes Azzi’s heart hurt. “I thought they were gonna try…I wouldn’t have taken you out with them if I knew…”

“Hey, it’s all good,” Azzi responds, running a hand through Paige’s hair. “I didn’t mind, really. I’ve heard worse.”

This is apparently the wrong thing to say, because Paige just cries harder. “Fuck, Az, you shouldn’t have to do this.” She lifts her head up to look at her, and Azzi absently wipes her face. “This sucks. It’s the first week of summer and I—I was shitty to you and now my parents, and I—“

“Paige,” Azzi says sternly. “I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I couldn’t handle it. I can handle it. It’s you that I’m worried about.”

Paige nods, sniffling again. “You don’t gotta worry. I’m fine.”

“You’re obviously not fine, P,” Azzi says, and Paige winces, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt.

“I’m okay,” Paige insists. “Really. As long as we do this together, I’m okay.”

She straightens up like she’s steeling herself, and Azzi thinks maybe she should do the same.

This is only the first day of their two-week stay.

It’s going to be a long trip.

@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334 @makethemhoesmad @the-other-half @rosemariiaa

[kpopflowerfield]

daylight | yjh

ღ pairing: jeonghan x barista!reader!

ღ word count: 6.5k

ღ genre: fluff & smut

ღ warnings: cursing, making out, soft sex, pet names (babe, baby, pretty girl), protected sex, (f) reader rides jeonghan, fingering, oral (m receiving)

ღ rating: nsfw, MDNI

ღ networks: @k-vanity @k-library

ღ summary: Jeonghan is moving on from a heartbreak, starting again and making every experience feel new with you.

↠ check out the rest of the tracklist here! ↞

"Yah! Jeonghan! You got to get up!" there was a loud knock on the door following as Jeonghan groaned, recognizing the voice of his roommate, Seungkwan. He groaned out, turning his head to look out the window. The sunlight creeps in through the slits of the blinds. He sat up reluctantly. "Jeonghan?" Seungkwan kept banging on the door. "I'm up already! Keep knocking like that, and I'll have a hole going through my door, jeez," He exhaled, fixing his hair as he walked towards the door.

He unlocked it, hearing the click as he threw the door open. Seungkwan was still standing there with a pitiful look. Jeonghan hated it when people looked at him like that. He wasn't someone to feel sorry for. "You okay?" Seungkwan looked at the elder.

"Just peachy," He gave him a look, seeing the way his eyes didn't change. "Stop looking at me like that," Jeonghan's gaze was sharp as Seungkwan stepped back. Jeonghan wasn't trying to snap at Seungkwan, but he couldn't hold back seeing him look at him as if he was a charity case, which is what all of his friends have been doing lately.

He had gone through a nasty breakup, and that's all there was to it. Obviously, he was going to mope about it and have his moments of wanting to be alone. That was only human, but he guessed it wasn't like that when it came to him. He walked over to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water. "What'd you wake me up for?" He shut the fridge and took a sip from the glass he had just filled.

"I mean, it's noon; you probably won't sleep again tonight. Plus, it's weird seeing you become nocturnal. We also need to go and study. Maybe the library?" Seungkwan avoided eye contact, not wanting to upset Jeonghan any more than he already did.

"Yeah, let me go grab my stuff." He took another sip and then poured the rest down the drain as he walked to his room to get ready, which was changing out of a hoodie and sweatpants and into another pair.

Within moments, the two left their place and headed towards the campus library. Jeonghan opened the door, holding it open for Seungkwan to follow as they walked in. They looked around, searching for a possible table, but didn't see many available. They went upstairs, downstairs, even to the study rooms, hoping someone didn't actually go to their reserved time, but nothing was open. "There's a cafe down the street. Let's go there," Jeonghan's suggestion sounded more like a demand as Seungkwan nodded.

Jeonghan carefully pushed open the door, the bell ringing as he looked around. It had more of an urban aesthetic mixed with some more modern parts. 'Cute,' Jeonghan thought to himself as he studied the brick walls and bright white counters. The tiny bell that hung on the back of the door rang again as Seungkwan walked in.

"Hello!" The bell was a cue for you to call out and welcome everyone. You looked up from the machine you were deep cleaning. Your eyes glued onto one of them for a moment. The way his fingers through his mid-length hair was intoxicating, seeing his soft features as he stared out. It was hard for you to remove your eyes from him as he pulled out a chair at one of the tables and took a seat.

"Hey. Y/N, do we need ice in the bin?" Your coworker, Eunae, called out. That was the only way you could remove your eyes from this stranger. "Oh, uh," You stuttered, opening the ice bin closest to you and the much larger one on the other side. "Yeah, like a bucket and a half would be perfect," You called back to her. She came out, filling the bins and looking at you. "Found yourself another crush?" She teased.

"No, just wondering if they want something," Your excuse was nothing but bullshit as she laughed, shaking her head at you. "Go ask then, weirdo," Your eyes widened a bit at that idea. Obviously, you've gone up to a table before and asked if they wanted a drink, but not someone like him. He was different than the other little crushes you had here and there.

You took a moment to muster up the courage, then walked over to the table. As you got closer, it seemed as if the two were arguing about something. You cleared your throat and smiled cheerfully. "Sorry to interrupt! Can I get either of you something to drink?" The shorter one smiled a bit and looked at you. "Yeah! Can I get an iced americano?" You nodded and looked over at the taller one. "I'll take the same." He didn't even bother to look up.

It hurt your ego that he didn't even move his eyes from the screen in front of him; you nodded and walked away. You made the drinks and peeked over the espresso machine as the taller one had a bothered expression looking at the other. "I don't care about Sooyoung or that she moved on already. Please leave me out of your updates on her. I'm not going to move on right now. My head is fucked thinking about her. I don't need the updates; besides, I'm working on fixing myself right now. I'm not jumping into a relationship," He grumbled; you didn't mean to eavesdrop, but he was talking a bit on the louder side. "Jeonghan," The other one started.

You finished up their drinks and thought to yourself, "Jeonghan." You walked over to them, carefully holding their drinks. "Two Americanos," you smiled. It was definitely a customer service smile instead of your actual smile as they nodded. "Thank you," Jeonghan finally lifted his head to look at you. His mind started racing for a moment. He couldn't remove his eyes from you as he walked away.

Seungkwan moved his leg over, kicking the side of his leg lightly. " What?" He looked at him. "Dude, you're eye fucking her...After saying you don't want another relationship." Jeonghan's face was expressionless as he shrugged a bit. "I can look all I want. That doesn't mean I'm hopping into a relationship." Seungkwan couldn't help but roll his eyes in response.

Jeonghan finished what he was working on and stood up, walking towards the register. You walked over and smiled. " Can I help you with anything?" He nodded a bit, his face seeming to relax from the scowl he had sitting at the table. " I'd just like to pay," you nodded and rang him up, adding a discount to it.

"Oh, I thought it was more," He looked surprised by the price and paid. You handed him his receipt, a soft, rosy color spreading on your cheeks. "Have a great rest of your day," you smiled at him as he nodded, giving you a soft smile and looking at your name tag. "You too, Y/N,"

You hated when people said your name at work if it wasn't one of your coworkers. You realized quickly after starting that customers would use it too much that they abused it. But hearing your name come from those sweet lips, he had made butterflies flutter in your stomach. You watched as he turned and sat back down with his friend.

You cleaned up the counters and looked around, not wanting to be a creep, and stared at him longingly from behind the counter. Watching the gorgeous, tall, slim figure pick up his bag and leave. You seemed disappointed that you didn't say much other than your usual customer service script you had. A few days went by, and you only had small shifts here and there. Even though you only saw Jeonghan one time, you consistently clocked in with the hope of being able to see him again.

You heard the bell ring as you finished stocking the cups. " Welcome!" You threw out the plastic and turned around. " Oh," You smiled a bit and walked over, seeing his face again. "Iced americano again?" You smiled at him as he looked at you. He seemed a bit surprised that you remembered him but was more than happy to realize you recognized him.

"Did you want decaf? It's a bit late," You realized you might have been crossing a line and stared at the espresso machine. "No, I need the caffeine right now. I have finals coming up." You nodded and smiled at him. "What major?" You looked at him over the counter. "Visual arts, more so in photography and journalism," He watched as you carefully put the lid on, waiting to hear the click of it connecting before handing him his drink.

"Dual major?" You looked at him, impressed, as he nodded. "That's why I need the caffeine," His laugh seemed a bit awkward and weak. "I don't blame you. I tried college, but it wasn't for me," You confessed as he listened. "I put it off for a while. My friend I was here with the other day helped convince me when he applied. Everyone I graduated high school with graduates in the spring, so I'm three years behind,"

"Gap years work for a lot of people." You nodded. You watched as he took a sip of his coffee; the bitter taste was comforting to him. " I got to be honest with you," You looked at him, almost studying him but hoping he didn't pick up on it. "Yeah?" He couldn't help but question; you were so captivating to him, and he loved hearing every word leave your lips. "I don't understand how you like Americanos," You laughed softly.

He looked at you surprised. "You don't like them?!" He sounded almost offended. "It's way too strong, plus it's so insanely bitter. I give you credit." You giggled as you spoke playfully, and he shook his head. "They're so good. The bitterness is the best part. You're actually able to taste the coffee and not all the flavors and milk." You listened to him; he sounded so confident in everything he said.

"Let me make you something; I think you'll like it," You looked over at him, seeing he was already halfway through his coffee. "Alright," He walked back over to the register. "Are you allergic to anything?" You looked at him as he shook his head. "I can have everything but dairy, but sometimes it upsets my stomach." He watched you as he worked. Hearing the scream of the milk steaming, he seemed in awe as you poured in the frothed milk, watching the simple design you created on top. You closed the lid and handed it to him.

"Try it," you looked at him. He picked it up, sniffing it first, then took a sip. His body filled with warmth, and he smiled. "What is it?" He opened the lid. "Vanilla latte: one extra shot so you get your strong coffee taste and vanilla soy milk." He looked at you and smiled. "Well, keep this in mind; this might become my usual."

You nodded with a grin. " What's your name?" You didn't want to be weird that you remembered him from your "accidental" eavesdro ping. " Jeonghan," he looked at you, admiring you as you nodded. " Well, nice to meet you," you smiled widely.

"Ditto," He smiled back and looked at you. " How much for the latte?" He stared at the register as you waved your hand at him. " Free," He huffed a bit, then thought. "Do you take tips?" You nodded a bit, and he smiled, looking around the dead cafe. "Come here," You walked around the bar and headed over to him. The smell of his cologne bringing you closer to him. He looked at the pocket sewn into your apron and dropped a bill in. "Thank you," he thanked you as you reached in and went to give it back to him.

"Nope, that's yours for your amazing customer service," he winked a bit as you shook your head. He looked at you and smiled. “Alright, I'm going to go now. There's a lot to study," he laughed a bit. "Have fun," you teased. "Do you work tomorrow?" He watched you, his eyes traveling all over your body as you walked behind the bar, bending down to grab a rag to start cleaning.

"Tomorrow night and the next day, I work in the morning," You never told people your schedule, no matter how attractive, but you couldn't help yourself and you could only hope it wouldn’t be a mistake. "I'll see you then," He walked out as you still had that smile plastered on your face.

He did come the next day and the day after. You kept talking each time and coming up with a new topic. Each conversation never ended, as there was always something new that you both could talk about. The next day, you finally got the confidence and looked at him, mesmerized by the way the light from the sun was hitting his eyes revealing the mixture of chestnut and amber hues. "Can I get your number?" You asked him as you interrupted the silence that crept over, but to your delight, he nodded and smiled. "Absolutely, give me your phone,"

You pulled it out from your back pocket and handed it to him as he typed his number in for you. "There you go," He smiled softly, handing you your phone back. You tucked your phone away, sending a quick hello text beforehand. "Would you like to go on a date?" He looked at you, his spontaneity catching you off guard. "A date?" You questioned, your head almost tilted to the side, resembling a puppy dog which made Jeonghan’s heart melt a bit. "Yes. You and me. Maybe some dinner, and we can see what we decide on after," He looked at you, hoping you weren't questioning it because you didn't want to go.

"Okay," you answered, and he looked at you, his eyes meeting as he smiled at you. "I'll text you later; I have to head to class." He checked the time quickly as you nodded at him. " Sounds good! Don't stress too much," you called out as he walked out.

Jeonghannie: When are you off this week?

You checked your phone, laughing to yourself at the name he had given his contact.

Y/N: I took off this weekend :)

Jeonghannie: Perfect

You stared at your phone, the excitement filling your body for the rest of the day, knowing you were actually going on a date with him.

Jeonghan smiled as he looked at his phone. Seungkwan nudged him a bit with his elbow. "What?" Jeonghan whispered as Seungkwan lifted his chin, looking at the chat he had open. "That's the girl from the cafe, isn't it?" Jeonghan locked his phone and placed it on the table in front of him. “Yes. She asked for my number, so I gave it to her. That's all," Seungkwan nodded a bit hesitantly as he didn't fully believe him about it being just a friendship. "Fine, we're going on a date this weekend." Seungkwan's eyes opened widely, and he was in utter shock hearing him say those words.

"Stop freaking out about it," He mumbled as Seungkwan still stared at him. "I thought you were 'fucked in the head,'" His eyes glared into Jeonghan as he quoted him. "Yeah, but it's been over for a while now. I'm not going to keep pitying myself with the idea of where I fucked up. I'm not going to continue blaming myself when I didn't deserve what Sooyoung did. It didn't matter what I did for her when we were together; I did everything to keep her happy, but it was for nothing. I'm moving on. Not going to keep messing up my head," Jeonghan sighed, finishing up his rant.

"Good," Seungkwan whispered as he nodded at him. Class finished up as he walked out with Seungkwan. "So, is the cafe where you've been going almost every day?" Jeonghan smiled to himself with a faint blush. "Yeah. There's a cute barista; I had to at least talk to her a few times," Seungkwan snickered a bit. " Shut up," Jeonghan laughed, a smile setting in on his face.

He fixed his hair in the mirror, making sure he liked the way it looked as he grabbed his wallet and keys and walked out to the living room where Seungkwan was studying. "I'm leaving now," he said, walking towards the door as Seungkwan watched him. "Wow, look at you," he teased, seeing him so dressed up. "Don't wait up." He laughed as he walked out.

Jeonghannie: I'm on my way now!

Y/N: Okay! Drive safe

He smiled at your message as he got in his car, driving carefully to your place. He parked, grabbing the flowers he had bought for you out of the passenger seat and walked up to your apartment and knocked. You opened the door and smiled, seeing him.

He looked at you in awe. The little black dress you were wearing hugged your body and showed each curve you had perfectly. "Wow." He couldn't keep it in and had to let the words escape his lips. He smiled at you, admiring your body, and you did the same to him. You both had a very classic idea for date night. His black dress pants and white shirt looked incredible on him, but you knew he'd look stunning in anything.

"Oh, these are for you," he carefully handed you the bouquet he purchased. You looked at the deep red color of the roses, and your face started to match that shade. "They're beautiful," you smiled, opening your door more to invite him in. You walked over to your kitchen, grabbed a vase, and filled it with water and the food that came with the flowers as you carefully placed them in the vase. " Thank you," you looked over at him.

"Of course," he already felt himself falling for the way you smiled at him, the way your eyes had a grin to them. " I'm ready to go whenever you are," you looked at him as he nodded, standing up from the stool he found himself sitting in.

He walked with you down the stairs and checked his map application. "It's a quick walk if you'd like to do that, or we can go by car. Your choice," He looked at you. "It's nice out so that we can take a walk," You grinned up at him, his heart melting a bit inside as he thought for a moment. "Let me just get my jacket from the car." He walked over to a newer-looking sedan. You watched from the stairs of your building as he practically jogged back over to you. "Okay, we can go now," He smiled, putting the jacket on and walking with you.

He wasn't actually cold, but he figured that if you were after dinner, he could give you his jacket like in the rom-coms he swore he hated but still used to watch. He walked next to you as you headed to the restaurant. "Good evening," the hostess smiled as Jeonghan smiled back. “I have a reservation; it should be under Jeonghan." He watched as she looked in her book. "Table for two?" She looked up at him as she highlighted a part of the restaurant in purple.

She grabbed two menus and walked you to your table. You looked around the place in a bit of awe as you'd never been to a place like it. More than thirty tables were scattered around just in the main dining room. The hostess led you to the back of the restaurant, placing the menus on a round table. The table was beautifully set with a darker green tablecloth, faux candles that were flickering in the center, and a fawn-colored napkin placed on each side that wrapped up your silverware. The hostess pulled out your seat as you sat down, going to push your chair in until she did it.

Your expression must've looked surprised by the way Jeonghan stifled a laugh. You looked at the menu and quickly snuck a peek at Jeonghan. "If you don't like the menu, let me know; we can go somewhere else,” his voice was almost a whisper as you nodded. "I'll be good," You smiled at him as he nodded. "I like Italian," You reassured him as he nodded with a smile. "Have you ever been here?" He looked at you. His eyes looked so dreamy as you shook your head. "I've never been somewhere this fancy,"

You looked around, studying the area around you. The place was dim, but you could still see Jeonghan clearly. Before you could get too lost in your thoughts, the waiter came up. "Good evening. My name is Insu, and I'll be your waiter tonight. Can I get you anything to drink?" Jeonghan checked the menu one more time and then looked at you. "Do you drink wine?" He watched as you nodded, and he looked at the waiter. "Two glasses of the best Chardonnay you have, please," The waiter nodded and smiled at the two of you. "Any appetizers? I'd recommend the raw bar sampler or crab cakes or even a Caesar salad to pair with your wine." He suggested as Jeonghan nodded, and you smiled. You placed your order and looked at Jeonghan. "Do you have Venmo or something?" He shook his head, laughing a bit.

You pouted slightly. "Seriously, this meal is like half of my rent. Let me pay you for my portion." You were almost begging as he shook his head. "I asked you out, plus it's a date. I'm not going to make you pay for your meal at a place I picked." You realized it wasn't worth playfully arguing as Jeonghan was very set on not having you pay, so you backed down. "How have classes been?" You smiled at him, changing the subject. He shrugged a bit. "They've been okay. I mean, finals are happening in about a month, so I'm going to have to start cramming because half the classes go in one ear and out the other." He laughed a bit.

You listened to him as he talked about his classes. You started to regret not going, but you were also more than grateful that you didn't have to stress out studying for a grade that would make or break your future. "Sorry, I don't mean to yap so much; how has work been?" He looked at you, feeling bad that all he was doing was talking. "It was good; I don't know why we've been so understaffed a lot, but I've picked up a lot of hours." Jeonghan listened but wasn't fully grasping your words. He looked lost while watching your lips move. Nothing sexual was being said, but he couldn't help the dirty thoughts that flooded his brain. The dark rose-shaded gloss that covered your lips made him picture where else it would look just as perfect. He licked his lips a bit and took a sip from his wine. You smiled at him innocently as you finished talking.

"How long have you been there?" He posed another question so he wouldn't look as weird for staring at you like you were dessert. His eyes traveled around what he could see. "About three years," You nodded as he nodded back, looking a bit surprised to hear about your longevity in one place. "Where do you work?" You smiled at him, wanting to figure out how he had so much money that he could throw at a meal. "Oh," He seemed a bit flustered. "I don't. I'm focused more on school right now. Luckily, my family lets me buy using their credit card for now." He sounded embarrassed, like he didn't want to tell you. He read your expression as you nodded. "I do want to get a job once I get my degree," you nodded again; you weren't expecting it, but you weren't too surprised seeing his new car and the fancier clothing he’d wear just to stop by for some coffee.

You watched him sign the check and stood up, pulling your chair out for you as you got up and walked towards the door with him. You held your small clutch purse tight to your body as a chill came over you from the late-night breeze. "Cold?" He questioned a bit as you nodded. You saw him take off his jacket quickly and place it around your body. He wouldn't verbally say it, but he was a bit proud of the moment he wanted to happen, which was actually playing out.

He walked with you back to your place as you smiled up at him. "I had an amazing time. Thank you for dinner; next time, it's on me," He looked down at you, a gentle smile spreading on his cheeks. "You want another date with me?" He questioned as a faint blush spread on your face. "I mean, if you'd like another one with me?" It came out as a question as he nodded. "I'd love to go out with you again," You stood at the door of your apartment.

"Want to come in?" You questioned as he nodded a bit. "Sure, as long as it's not a hassle," You shushed him a bit as you pulled your keys out of your bag and unlocked your door, letting him in and following after. You locked the door behind you as you put your purse on the counter. Your apartment was neat and bright from the white counters and backsplash mixed with the bright white LED lights. "Make yourself at home," You bent down a bit to take off the heels you were wearing. He walked over to your couch and sat down.

"Do you want anything? Water? Coffee?" You looked at him. "I'll take a water, please," He looked over at you. You nodded as you grabbed two bottles and walked over to him, handing him one and opening the other one for yourself. You sat down on the couch next to him. "Thank you again for dinner," You took off his coat and placed it on the back of the sofa next to him. "And thank you for letting me wear that," You brushed off the back of the coat, ridding of a few pieces of your hair.

“Anytime,” His eyes wandered, looking over every inch of your body. He studied every curve of your body, the way your tits sat perfectly in that tight dress. He felt so worked up as his eyes flickered from your eyes to your lips. You noticed and moved in closer to him. "Do it," Your voice was soft as his eyes darted to meet yours, he was a bit surprised that you caught him. He placed his hand on the side of your face gently as he kissed you. His gentle lips were soft and needy as he pulled you in closer to him.

You held onto his shoulders as he pulled you to sit on his lap. His tongue moved in sync with yours as you had your arms loosely wrapped around his neck. You pulled away, putting your forehead on his to let you both catch your breath. "I got my lipstick on you," You started to wipe it off with your thumb as a smirk crept onto his face. "Can it go somewhere else?" He gave you such a suggestive look, making your stomach backflip.

"Oh yeah?" Your voice was low but playful as you leaned to whisper in his ear. "And where is that?" You playfully unbuttoned his shirt. He moved you carefully, making you giggle a bit as he leaned to whisper in your ear this time. "I want to see those beautiful lips wrapped around my cock," He was forward, not wanting to play with you. He stood up as your eyes followed him. "I can make that happen," You murmured.

He threw his shirt off, and then his pants followed within moments of you agreeing. You looked at the length that was being compressed in his boxers. He pulled it out, looking at you as you sat on the couch. Your eyes stayed locked on his cock. He was bigger than you expected, but you weren't going to complain. You wrapped your hand around his thick base and started to move it. Twisting and moving it up and down. Soft groans escaped from his lips as you put his cock in your mouth.

He pressed his lips together, loving the feeling of the warmth your mouth gave him. "You're such a pretty girl," He breathed. Your eyes connected with his as you swirled your tongue around his tip. "Fuck yes," He groaned under his breath. You kept your pace as your cheeks hollowed against his length. The warmth of your mouth made him moan. He watched your head bob up and down as your hand still worked on jerking him from the base of his length.

He pursed his lips, not wanting to cum just yet. He tangled his fingers in your hair. "Get on the couch," His voice was gentle as you pulled away from him. He helped you stand up and kissed your reddened lips. "Sit," You sat down on the couch like he told you to. He pushed your stomach lightly to have you lie down. He kissed your lips, biting down carefully as he reached under your dress and pulled your panties down. Throwing them somewhere in your living room.

He smirked to himself as he felt your wetness. You shivered a bit at the feeling as he pushed his middle finger in gently, moving his finger slowly before pulling out to rub your sensitive bud. You moaned against his lips as he moved his finger carefully, not wanting to overwhelm your body with his touch.

His fingers played with your wetness, moving from your soaking wet cunt to your swollen clit. Every motion had you moaning out. "J-Jeonghan," You stuttered as he smirked, placing kisses on every available place of your body. His fingers moved in a come-hither motion. "That feels so fucking good," You mewled out. He loved hearing your words of encouragement as he continued.

His foreplay was sending you into a deep state of euphoria as he watched you. "Do you want to go further?" He wanted to make sure you actually wanted to fuck and not just play with each other for now. "Yes," You couldn't help but plead. "I want your cock in me so bad, Jeonghan," You were begging him at this point as he moved his fingers away from you. He grabbed his pants off the floor and opened his wallet. Grabbing the gold foil and ripping it open, he slid on the rubber from inside.

"Are you okay with riding?" He spoke so sweetly as he sat down next to you. You nodded at him as you slid off your dress. He stared at your figure in awe as you moved to hover over him. "Take your time," His voice was gentle as you nodded, slowly sinking onto his length. Moans slipped out of your mouth as he groaned, feeling your tight opening wrap around him.

His hands placed themselves on your hips as you slowly started to move. He grunted as you slowly rolled your hips against him, feeling your walls adjust to him. "You're doing so fucking good." He couldn't help but praise you, and it was helping as your pace picked up as you bounced on him. He watched your tits for a moment before pulling you in closer to him, taking one of him in his mouth as he flicked your nipple with his tongue.

"Oh fuck, Jeonghan," You whimpered as he continued; his tongue started to swirl around your nipple as you groaned, and he moved to the other side of your chest to repeat the same actions. He held your ass before taking control of the pacing for you. His cock pushed deeper inside you. His thrusts were more desperate than yours were as they made you cry out his name.

"You like that baby?" He smirked a bit as your cheeks deepened in color at the sudden pet name. "Fuck yes," You purred. The sound of your thighs hitting filled the room, and his thrusts started to become pounds as you cursed and yelled out his name. "God, you're so fucking perfect," His grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your skin. Your moans grew louder as he covered your mouth. "We wouldn't want a noise complaint, would we?" His eyes were dark and full of lust as you bit your lip.

He removed his hand from your face and placed it on the nape of your neck, pulling you into him as he kissed you. His saliva spreading on your lips from his sloppiness. He watched your expression for a moment as he pulled away. "I'm going to fucking cum, Jeonghan," Your eyes rolled back as he continued to move his hips into you. "Do it for me, babe," He cooed.

You felt your body dissolve into pleasure as your walls spasmed against his dick. He groaned as he pulled you in closer, biting your shoulder lightly as his cock twitched inside as he climaxed. You felt his grip on you loosen a bit as he panted. "You're so beautiful," He looked at you, his hair sticking to his forehead as he smiled up at you. "You felt so good; I'm sorry I took over," He apologized as he fixed your hair and then put his hand on your cheek.

"It's okay," You blushed. "I liked it better when you started fucking me," You admitted smiling a bit. "I also didn't mean to take you out to dinner and fuck right after the first date." He laughed a bit shortly. "I wasn't planning on it either," You confessed to him. "But it was a heat of the moment thing, and I think both of us enjoyed it. Or at least I did," You smiled at him as he nodded quickly. "I enjoyed it a lot,"

You got off of him and walked to your bedroom to grab yourself some clothes. You walked out and saw he had already put his pants and shirt back on. "I'm going to go home, okay?" He looked over at you. You checked the time on your stove and saw it was eleven thirty. "Alright, thank you for dinner and everything, Jeonghan. I'd love to go out again," You smiled up at him as he nodded. "I'll text you," He kissed your cheek as he walked out.

Once he got home, he saw Seungkwan waiting for him. "How was your date?" Seungkwan looked over as Jeonghan tossed his keys on the counter. "It was good. I had a really, really good time, and I think she did too." He looked through the mail on the counter as Seungkwan studied him, seeing his disheveled hair that was sticking to his forehead. "Did you guys just have dinner?" He questioned.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes as he responded. "Yep. Dinner, and she invited me to her place afterward," Seungkwan nodded. “Are you seeing her again?" Jeonghan nodded in response. “I'd love to. She's perfect, so I want to keep seeing her." He finally looked over at him.

Y/N: I hope you made it home safely! I really appreciate everything from tonight. Would you like to go and see a new movie that comes out next week? I'm off Thursday and Saturday.

Jeonghannie: I would love to! Thursday is the only day I don't have class, so that would be perfect.

Y/N: See you then

Jeonghan smiled as he put his phone away. "I'm heading to bed, night Seungkwan." He walked to his room and shut the door behind him.

You spent your days counting down in between each date the two of you had. It took Jeonghan a bit, but he finally, as Seungkwan would say, "Grew a pair" and asked you out.

The two of you grew inseparable, and you became close with Seungkwan, too. Once you moved in the three of you ended up doing a lot together. When they were having cram sessions you’d always make sure to come home with coffees to give them. Jeonghan felt so lucky to have you in his life, especially at that moment. He sat in his chair, looking around at the stadium full of people.

"Welcome, families and graduates," the dean's soft voice said as he spoke into the microphone that didn’t help his voice reach the whole stadium. He continued his speech about the college, and the ceremony began. You searched the chairs from high up, trying to see if you could find Jeonghan. The list of names went on and on.

Y/N: I can't find you :(

You sent your message and kept looking around.

Jeonghannie: I'm three rows in front of the last. Middle of the row!

He looked down and searched. His mahogany-shaded hair didn't stand out from the crowd, but once he started moving, you could spot him, seeing the yellow top of his cap.

Y/N: I see you, pookie <3

Jeonghannie: I can't see you :( That's unfair

Y/N: Wait until after ;)

He smiled at your message and put his phone away, as his name was close to being called.

"Yoon Jeonghan," The dean called out as Jeonghan shook his hand. Holding the diploma close and taking his photo op with the dean and others from the administration.

You cheered for him, watching as he looked around and finally made eye contact with you. He smiled so brightly as he sat back down in his seat.

Y/N: Look at my smart, handsome, and perfect graduate boyfriend!

You giggled as you sent your message with a picture you took of him.

Jeonghannie: God, I love you

You smiled at his message as you waited for the ceremony to wrap up, it took another forty minutes but once they announced the last name and thanked everyone you made your way out of the stadium. Then, you walked out to the main campus and waited for him with a bouquet of crimson carnations that coordinated with the school's colors. You looked around eagerly, waiting for him.

You heard his laugh as he spoke with someone else, and your face lit up when you saw him. You let a few people pass before you ran up, practically jumping into his arms, and he held you. "I'm so proud of you," Your voice was gentle as you spoke into his ear, kissing his cheek as he squeezed you a bit. He kissed your nose and smiled. "I love you so much, Y/N,"

You watched as he pulled away from the hug. You held the flowers and smiled at him. Your expression became a bit confused as he got on one knee, pulling a box out of his pocket.

"Like every day, I want to make it about us, not just me or you. I want to be with you every day for the rest of our lives. I love you more than I could even put into words, Y/N," You watched as he took a deep breath and opened the box. "Will you marry me?" Your mouth was left agape as you stared at the beautiful rock he was holding out to you. You realized you didn't say anything and smiled at him. "Yes, absolutely." Happy tears came down your face as he stood up, sliding the ring on your finger gently before placing a kiss on your lips.

[mint-and-authoress]

Slime HRT - Progress Report II

<<| ⏯️ |>>

[The video opens with a familiar bedroom setup from previous recordings. In the top right corner a timestamp of ‘10 Weeks’ is shown.]

“Okay, ten weeks. We’re ten freaking weeks into this. I’m honestly really excited for this update actually because…”

[Elise stands back a few feet and rolls up her sleeves to reveal her arms. The skin has shifted from translucent to transparent, and the musculature is present underneath, a mix of bluish-gray and red.]

“Skin’s gone! …Well, not gone gone, but it’s totally cleared up! It’s all see-through now, and that means the muscle’s gonna go next. Which I’m a little nervous about.

“Yeah… that last bit at the end of the first video was my dad kinda outing me on his own because I didn’t have a chance to cover up. And that’s kinda led to this Transspecies Cold War that I’ve been forced to take part in for like… 3 weeks now? Luckily my mother is oblivious to all this so I’ve managed to skirt around that volcanic eruption. Dad hasn’t said a word to me, though, which is a bit weird, but I’m honestly fine with not talking to him. Freeing, in a sense.

“Anyway, important things first! In terms of my transition timeline, I’m actually a little ahead of schedule! Which, don’t get me wrong, it’s really exciting to experience this stuff and confirm it’s all really happening, but also kinda puts a bit of a wrench into my plans. Some gunk in the cogs, I don’t know. I’ve been trying to use more slime puns, but I’m not sure if it’s for me.”

[Elise stares off for a second before snapping back to reality.]

“...Right, the wrench. Problem. Whatever it was. Right, my job! I’m a bit worried about how long I’ll be able to keep working, seeing as though I’m gonna basically have muscular dystrophy advancing throughout my body at a rapid rate. I don’t do a ton of heavy lifting, at most I’d struggle with lifting mannequins but we barely do that. Mostly just hanging clothes and gettin stuff hung up.

“My skin, or my surface now, I guess, is a bit stickier now? From what I can tell, the surface is just a slime’s version of skin; all the goop you’d imagine just comes from underneath to gather sensory input. I guess that hasn’t happened yet because 1) I don’t have that goop yet–the goop that’ll come from all my muscles, I mean–and 2) I still have a human’s nervous system so I can still touch and understand that feeling.

“So far so good, though. No more skin, no more breakouts. Hopefully the muscles are just as cooperative.”

[The segment ends. The next segment fades in and Elise looks notably different. Her hair is gone and has been replaced with a shorter ‘haircut’ made entirely from slime. She wears a t-shirt and long pants. Elise’s surface is still clear but most of the muscle underneath is also gone, the little remaining still in small patches dotted across her body. Her face is also completely eroded away, all that remains is the skull, eyes, and the inner workings of her ears. The slime that makes up Elise’s body is now tinted green. The timestamp reads ‘5 Months.’]

“This is my entry at 5 months during transition. Holy Hell it has been a rough one. As you can see…”

[Elise slowly stands and orients the camera to face multiple parts of the bedroom, most of which has been compartmentalised and/or boxed up. She finally turns the camera to face her once more in the usual shot.]

“I am ready to get out. In fact, I’m actually headed out tomorrow morning to go live with my partner out west. Out in the wilderness, surrounded by nature. First things first, though. I gotta unpack these last months for y’all.”

[Elise starts to roll up her sleeves before seemingly forgetting that she is wearing a t-shirt, which she begins to fidget with.]

“Transition stuff first. Also sorry if I’m a bit spaced out, I’ve been a bit…well I guess I’ll just call myself out on it, I’ve been a bit airheaded recently. Doctors say it’s a side effect of the drugs, which of course it is. All in the name of science or something.

“I don’t want it to come across like I’m not happy; I’m fucking ecstatic and euphoric all the time. Life’s just been a lot lately.

“In terms of the muscular decomposition it actually kinda freaking hurts. Like when it started I just felt sore but over the course of a week somewhere around 14 weeks in I got barely any sleep. Turns out, acid dissolving you hurts pretty bad, actually. It got better when a majority of the muscle was gone but every now and again the body decides to get rid of more and unfortunately I can’t use any ibuprofen or painkillers because they inhibit some yeast growth and I just so happen to be made of the stuff nowadays.

“Also, on that note, no more caffeine, ever, apparently. Yeasts actually really don’t react well to caffeine so I’m really really glad I don’t drink coffee. No more Dr. Pepper hurts the soul, though. F in the chat for no more dr pepper.

“Also, hair. As in, no more hair, anywhere. I think they try to skirt around the fact that you will drop your hair as soon as the scalp becomes goop when they tell the trans girls about their transition. I think I would have screamed if I had the house to myself when I took that shower and my whole head felt very light. Luckily your body becomes very malleable when you take these drugs and after like four days of trying I figured out how to style my goop-hair. I’m usually covered from top to bottom in clothes to stay hidden, though, so I barely ever get the chance. And of course, since the hair is gone, my nails went around the same time. Been having to wear touchscreen gloves just to use my phone, and rubber gloves under those so I don’t seep through.

“Other changes… well, showering is pretty euphoric, honestly. Putting more water in the body kinda expands it in a way. Makes all the mass a bit sloshy but still workable if I don’t overdo it. Makes me all euphoric to have big ol tiddies whenever I want.

“I’m still able to eat normally, but I’ve started to actually digest with my slime. Lately my goal has been to taste without my tongue – which is also gone, mind you, just got lucky that I kept my tastebuds at least a little bit.”

[Elise stares off into the distance once again, seemingly lost in thought. After a moment she recollects herself and sits a bit taller.]

“Most of you have guessed by now that I’d get fired because of my transition, and yeah, that was last week. I warned my boss way in advance that I may slowly lose some physical function during transition but either she didn’t care to research my procedures or hated my guts anyway, either way I got canned for being unable to lift and perform my duties. It’s not so bad, lets me decompress and get ready to move.

“Yeah, I know, the move. Funny, you think I should have mentioned that first, or maybe a few months ago. Thing is, I had no idea I’d be moving out this early either. My transition is happening at an advanced rate for some reason and the doctors won’t be able to say before 6 months anyway so we’re all a bit in the dark about it.

“So last night I was invited to dinner with my parents. Not like an actual ‘going out to a restaurant’ dinner, no this was more like ‘Elise gets to cook and make her parents a nice meal and be forced to sit and talk about uncomfortable shit with them for at least an hour’ dinner. Lucky for them, I’m a bit of a pushover and I actually do like to cook so I made something nice.

“So, an hour and one stir fried chicken dish later, I’m sitting in the living room with my parents watching TV and absolutely trying to not shrink in on myself. That’s been an experience, let me tell you. I can just kinda ball up now if I want. Which I did not want to do considering I was still stealth from my mom.

“Of course, she has to ask how work is going and of course I had to unmask for just one insignificant second and reply that I was let go. There was a bit of a screaming match, and a ride to the hospital for my mother who legitimately had a heart attack from seeing her daughter’s skull and eyes suspended in a slightly green goop. Food colouring, by the way. Way cheaper than hair dye.

“Mom’s alright, she’s an addict so that’s what the doctors are focussed on now. Which unfortunately means that they have to deal with a whole bunch of bills and other lovely little things. Dad took me aside and made it abundantly clear that I was no longer welcome in their home. Hence, the boxes and suitcase that all hold the entirety of what I own.

“In better news, I’m gonna get an apartment with my love and we’ll be all okay by the end of the week. At some point I’m gonna also have to head into Hyper City again, check in with my doctors who all seem to have no idea why my transition is going so fucking fast all of a sudden. I mean, I was on schedule up until like that 7 weeks update and then everything went into like, I dunno, super puberty, and just shot way ahead.

“So, yeah…transition’s going great, just have to bear with all the other stuff that comes with it. I transitioned once, I can do it again. Stay strong, we’ll make it through together.”

[The scene fades to black as Elise reaches for the camera.]

}~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{

We are so back. With the Biggest. Update. Ever.

Well, not Elise. She's actually going through it af

More slime time! This post's inspiration (imma keep doing this btw, I like giving shout outs to my humble base of 40 followers) comes from both @draconic-lesbian for constant and continuous love and species affirmation, and @reliablegal who somehow derived her own slime biology and affirmed most of what I found to be true :D

catch y'all later when Elise moves into a new place and totally nothing crazy happens~

[dragonydreams]

BuckTommy Fic: Stuck in the Middle With You

Title: Stuck in the Middle With You Fandom: 9-1-1 Rating: Teen Audiences And Up Pairings/Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Tommy Kinard, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Eddie Diaz, Eddie Diaz & Tomy Kinard Additional Tags: post-episode: s08e06 Confessions, this is not a buddie story, second chances, Eddie's a good friend, Fix-It Summary: Eddie promises Buck he'll talk to Tommy to try to get his friends back together. Word Count: 2,701 Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over these characters. I am merely borrowing them from Reamworks, Brad Falchuk Teley-Vision, Ryan Murphy Television, and 20th Television. Betas: Thank you to @medieshanachiefor looking this over for me. Author's Note: I'm not really sure where some of this came from. I had a line in my head and it kind of spiraled from there. Then Tommy got notions and wouldn't give them up. 

Read on AO3

They drank their beers in silence, but after a few minutes when Buck was still staring at the fireplace with that kicked puppy expression on his face, Eddie couldn't keep his rising worry in anymore.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what happened?" he asked.

Buck looked at him as if seeing him for the first time. He watched Buck take in his bare face and legs. "I could ask you the same thing," Buck said, rather than answering.

"A priest told me to do something joyful," Eddie said. 'Your turn."

"A priest…? We're coming back to that." Buck takes a swig from his beer bottle. "Tommy dumped me."

Eddie nearly dropped his beer in his haste to turn to face Buck. "He what? But you just had your six month anniversary!"

"Took me by surprise, too," Buck said. "I don't think he was planning it, but as Athena would say, I went full Buck and scared him off."

Eddie winced. "What happened?"

"I asked him to move in with me," Buck admitted.

Eddie blew out a breath. "Is that how you phrased it?"

"Yeah, how else would I do it?" Buck asked, confused. 

"You didn't suggest moving in together, but for Tommy to move in with you," Eddie said.

"What difference does the phrasing make?" Buck asked, getting annoyed. He came here for comfort, not an inquisition.

"At any time while you were deciding to ask Tommy to move in, did you remember that Tommy has a house with a two car garage?" 

"I– What–" Buck's brow furrowed. "Of course I've been to Tommy's house."

"And you asked him to move in with you," Eddie said, again. 

Buck huffed in frustration. "I didn't mean my loft, literally."

"Did he know that?"

"I don't know, he was too busy breaking up with me to discuss where exactly we'd live," Buck said. "Why are you taking his side?"

"I'm not," Eddie said, holding his hands up. "I'm just trying to understand what happened."

"Did you know he used to be engaged to a woman?" Buck asked. "To Abby?"

Eddie's eyes went wide. "Not your Abby?"

"Yes, my Abby. Although I guess she was his Abby first," Buck said. "How could the two most important people I've dated been engaged to each other?"

"That is quite the coincidence," Eddie mused. "Is that what led to the idea of moving in?"

"Maybe?" Buck admitted. "Josh said all this stuff about me coming out in a post-Glee world, but he and Tommy came out in a pre-Glee world that wasn't so understanding and I wanted Tommy to know that I respected how hard it must have been for him and show him that I was all in."

"Had the two of you said I love you yet?" Eddie asked. 

"Why does everyone keep asking me that," Buck muttered. "No, but had you and Marisol said it before you asked her to move in?"

"No, we had not, and look how that turned out," Eddie said. "Our exes definitely had some big secrets."

"Yeah, but I knew about Abby before asking Tommy to move in. You didn't find out about Marisol being a nun until after," Buck pointed out.

"Almost a nun," Eddie corrected him automatically. 

Buck slumped back against the couch, draining the rest of his beer. "I went too big, too fast, didn't I?"

"You do have a tendency to act before thinking things through," Eddie agreed. 

"It's part of my charm," Buck said.

"Is it though?"

"Apparently not," Buck admitted. "I thought people liked big romantic gestures. Tommy loves all that rom-com stuff."

"Maybe, but not when it's a reaction to learning about a shared former lover," Eddie said. 

"How do I fix this?" Buck asked, tears filling his eyes. "I don't know that I am... Was… am in love with him, but I'm not ready to be without him."

"I don't know that this is something that you can walk back," Eddie said. 

"He said that while he may have been my first, he wasn't going to be my last. Did he tell you that he wasn't in this for the long haul?" Buck asked.

"We tried not to talk about you too much when we hung out," Eddie said. "But from what I could see, he was in it as much as you were." 

"Then why would he say something like that to me? Just because he's the first man I've been with doesn't mean that I want to be with other men."

"I can't speak for him, but maybe it's been his experience that when one man is just starting to date men and the other isn't, they don't usually stay together that long," Eddie said. "I'm just guessing here. You'd have to talk to him."

"Or-or you could," Buck suggested. He sat up on the couch, suddenly eager. "Yeah, can you do that? Can you go tell him that sometimes I leap before I look and I don't want this to end?"

Buck was looking at him with such sad yet hopeful eyes, that Eddie found himself saying, "Okay, fine, I'll try. Once."

Buck tackle hugged him. "Thank you. You're the best friend ever."

"I can't promise I'll change his mind," Eddie cautioned. 

"I'm not asking you to. I just need him to talk to me," Buck said, pulling back. "And now I think I need to know where your pants are."

Eddie laughed. "Yeah, um, so have you seen the movie Risky Business..."

~~*~~

Eddie stood before Tommy's front door, food offering in hand, and took a deep breath before ringing the bell.

It took a few minutes, but Tommy opened the door looking as rough as Eddie expected. 

"Had a feeling you'd need this," he said, holding up the bag containing a couple of breakfast burritos. 

"Did he send you?" Tommy asked, warily eyeing the bag of food.

"Yes, but I also wanted to see how you're doing," Eddie admitted. "I'm your friend, too."

Tommy stood back and let Eddie in before following him to the kitchen. Eddie got down a couple of plates while Tommy started making coffee.

"Should have known he'd run straight to you," Tommy muttered. "That man has been in love with you for as long as I've known him."

Eddie snorted. "No, he's not."

Tommy stared at him with an eyebrow raised. "I know he claimed he was trying to get my attention after you and I started hanging out, but I can tell you, he was most definitely not."

"He may have been trying to get my attention, but that's just the way our co-dependent friendship works sometimes. It's not because he's in love with me," Eddie protested.

"You tell yourself whatever you need to," Tommy said. 

"If he was in love with me, why would he have come to my house last night with a six-pack of beer and practically beg me to come ask you to talk to him to try to change your mind about breaking up?"

"Because you're his best friend," Tommy said.

"His straight best friend," Eddie reminded him. He idly wondered why he had to keep telling men he was straight. 

"You sure about that?" Tommy asked. "Should I kiss you and see if you have the same revelation Evan had?"

"Thanks, but I'll pass," Eddie said. "Because one, I'm not bicurious and two, I'm here on behalf of my heartbroken best friend."

Tommy poured them each a cup of coffee and they moved to the dining table. They each took a few bites before the conversation resumed.

"So, Buck's Abby was also your Abby," Eddie said. 

"It appears so. Did you know her?" Tommy asked.

Eddie shook his head. "She was before I moved to L.A. But I was there for the aftermath. Did he tell you about their breakup?"

"We didn't really get into that," Tommy admitted. "He just said she was one of his most transformative relationships, before me."

"From what I've heard, Buck slept around a lot before Abby. Bobby actually fired him his probationary year because he kept stealing engines for hookups."

Tommy choked on the bite he'd just taken. "I'm sorry, he stole fire engines to have sex? He wasn't kidding when he said he was a himbo."

Eddie nodded. "That's not the guy that I met, though. I met a guy who was living in his girlfriend's apartment even though she'd been traveling in Europe alone for months after her mom died."

"I did read about that. I sent her flowers," Tommy said.

"She basically ghosted Buck. He was staying true to her while she ran around without any real intention of coming back. She broke something in him."

"Because I broke something in her," Tommy said.

"That's not what I'm saying," Eddie said, quickly.

"Then why tell me about it?" Tommy demanded.

"To help you understand Buck. In case you haven't noticed, he has a fear of abandonment. Of not being enough," Eddie said.

"Who doesn't?" Tommy countered.

"He also tends to overcompensate when he's afraid," Eddie said.

"You're saying that he asked me to move in to his loft because he was afraid I'd leave him for a woman once he knew I used to be engaged to one?" Tommy asked, incredulously.

"No, I'm saying that between learning about Abby and something Josh said to him about how hard it was for gay people pre-Glee he wanted to show you how "in" he was in this relationship by asking you to move in."

"He's done this before? I'm not sure if that makes me feel any better."

"Did he tell you about suing the city after Bobby wouldn't let him return to work as soon as Buck wanted to after the ladder truck crushed his leg? Or asking Taylor to move in with him instead of just telling her he'd kissed Lucy back after she'd kissed him?"

"So he has done this before," Tommy said, solemnly. "Wait, Lucy Denato?"

"Or the time he tried grooming Ravi to take his place because he was convinced we all hated him after Chimney went chasing after Maddie when she left after Jee-Yun was born?"

"Or the time he thought he was cursed because he grew boils after an allergic reaction?" Tommy added.

"Exactly. He gets stuff in his head and reacts without thinking."

"And instead of talking it out, I just reacted to the words he was saying instead of talking to him about where they were coming from," Tommy said.

"Do you love him?" Eddie asked.

"Not yet, but I was close," Tommy admitted. "I didn't get into this relationship expecting love. I wasn't looking for it, but it was starting to sneak up on me."

"And that scared you," Eddie guessed.

"It did, because, as I said before, I didn't want my heart broken when you finally realized you were as in love with Evan as he is with you," Tommy said.

"I told you, I'm not," Eddie insisted. "I'm not gay, or bi."

"That's why you grew a Freddy Mercury mustache? To show how straight you are?" Tommy asked.

"Is that why the hot priest was hitting on me?" Eddie wondered aloud. 

"I'm sorry, a hot priest was hitting on you?" Tommy made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a giggle.

"He called my mustache very handsome," Eddie said.

"So you ran home and shaved it?"

"No, I shaved it because I realized I didn't need the mask anymore," Eddie said. "And not to mask that I'm straight. That's just the truth."

Tommy held his hands up. "Okay, fine, you're straight. You have no interest in bedding Evan."

"No, I don't. I'm not a threat to your relationship."

"There is no more relationship," Tommy said.

"If you're willing to try, there still could be," Eddie said. 

"I need to think about it," Tommy said.

"That's all I'm asking," Eddie said.

~~*~~

Can we meet for coffee?"

Buck nearly fumbled his phone as he read the text when they got back to the station after a call, four days after Tommy had dumped him. He frantically looked around for Eddie.

When he spotted him on a couch he ran over to him, holding out his phone. "Eddie, Eddie, he texted."

"Are you going to respond?" Eddie teased. 

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course," Buck said, pulling his phone back.

Yes! When and where?

Tommy responded right away. 

Tomorrow morning, 10am. You know where.

The coffee shop of second chances. Third? I'll be there.

"So?" Eddie asked.

"We're meeting for coffee tomorrow when we get off shift," Buck said, his face lit up with his smile.

"That's great, man. Good luck," Eddie said.

~~*~~

Buck was sitting at an outdoor table, two cups of coffee before him. The main difference this time is that he knew he had Tommy's order right.

"I'm feeling a bit of deja vu," Tommy said as he sat down across from Buck.

"Coffee should be better this time," Buck said.

Tommy brought the cup to his lips and hummed with appreciation. "At least you didn't try to be cute and order the wrong thing knowingly."

"I'd never do that to you," Buck said, offended.

"I know," Tommy said. "I'm sorry, I know that I have no right to be snarky."

"I'm the one who got dumped," Buck pointed out. "If anyone's going to be snarky, it should be me."

"I'm sorry, Evan," Tommy said.

"So it's Evan again?" Buck snarked.

"I deserved that," Tommy said. 

"What are you sorry for?" Buck asked.

"I'm sorry that instead of talking out my concerns that you were moving too fast I pulled away completely," Tommy apologized.

"And I'm sorry if you thought that I meant I wanted you to move into the loft. I was just so excited about the idea of living together, I didn't stop to think about where it would be," Buck said.

"I guess that's something we'll both need to work on; pausing to think before saying things," Tommy said.

"S-so there's something to work on?" Buck asked, hopefully. "Are we getting back together?"

"I think we need to have some long conversations about what we're looking for in this relationship, but I'm willing to have those discussions," Tommy said.

"Me too," Buck said, eagerly.

"But first, I want to ask you something that I should have done from the beginning," Tommy said.

Buck licked his lips nervously and nodded. "Okay, ask."

"Are you in love with Eddie?"

Buck laughed, then noticed the stern look on Tommy's face. "Oh, you're serious."

"Very."

"No, I'm not in love with Eddie. He's my best friend. My soulmate, but my platonic soulmate."

"Are you sure about that? Now that you know you're bi, are your feelings for him still just platonic?" Tommy pressed.

"Totally," Buck assured him. "He's always going to be an important person in my life, but he's not the one I want to share a bed with. My turn for a serious question."

"I deserve that," Tommy said.

"Can you handle Eddie and Christopher's role in my life? I'm always going to drop everything if one of them needs me. Are you going to be okay with that? Most of my girlfriends couldn't."

"Hell, I'll probably be the one driving you," Tommy admitted. "They're both pretty special people."

"They're the best," Buck agreed. "And I think you should take Eddie to the Lakers game instead of me. I really hate basketball."

Tommy laughed. "You know, somehow I just knew Eddie was going to end up at that game."

"Can we kiss and make up now?" Buck asked. 

"God, yes," Tommy said, both of them standing and reaching for the other. 

The kiss was fairly chaste since they were in public, but their hunger for each other was clear. This was something they both desperately wanted.

"You wanna get out of here?" Buck asked, somewhat breathless.

"Come back to my place?" Tommy suggested. 

"I'm right behind you," Buck said.

"Hmm, no, I think we should be face to face," Tommy said, smirking. 

Buck's face flushed. "That's not what… I mean yes, absolutely."

Tommy kissed Buck's cheek. "I'll see you soon."

The Beginning (Again)

[sonoftheshield]

Colt raised an eyebrow and shot her an exaggerated smirk. “Picking on my sister? You know I love you, Jen, but come on, you can take a little sibling jab,” he teased, nudging her with his elbow as he leaned back into the couch, clearly enjoying the banter. “Jase has his thing, but I think he’s starting to realize I’m gonna be here to stay now. Can’t just get rid of me that easy.”

He laughed at her next words, nodding. "Yeah, you’re right. Jase probably had a line of admirers a mile long, huh?" He looked amused at the thought. “If he’s anything like he was before—who knows, maybe he still is.” He grinned, shaking his head. “As for accidentally one-upping him... come on, Jen, I never mean to cause a little chaos. It's just... natural." He winked, knowing full well that even if he tried to play it straight, trouble seemed to find him anyway.

The mention of Banner and the mission made him nod, his expression becoming a little more serious. "I'm ready for whatever they throw at me," Colt replied with a sense of quiet confidence. "If Jase is worried, though, he’s gonna have to get over it eventually. I can handle myself." A small, reassuring smile tugged at his lips. “Maybe he’s just... protective, you know?” He chuckled softly, thinking about how it must feel for Jase to have to let go and let him join the team fully.

At the mention of his file, Colt’s expression softened slightly. He didn’t often think about what was redacted or what had been hidden from him. "Yeah, I got the files," he said, his tone a little more reflective. “But you’re right. I know there's stuff that’s not in there. Things that might be missing, things I’ll never know.” He sighed, trying to push that thought away. “But I’ve got you guys now, right?” He shot her a reassuring glance, his usual swagger returning. “Whatever’s missing, I’ll make up for it in the future.”

He listened as she spoke about her holiday plans, a little surprised by the honesty in her voice. “Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out,” he said, his voice warm but teasing. “A farm, huh? That sounds like the kind of place to find some peace. I might have to tag along and see what all the fuss is about. As long as there’s food involved.”

"Yelena, Natasha's sister.. and Kate..the new Hawkeye right?" He clocked her nod. At her warning about Yelena and Kate, Colt's expression turned mock-serious. “Noted,” he said, lifting an eyebrow. “I’ll keep my distance from Yelena’s knives, and I’ll make sure to... uh, keep my charm in check around Kate. Don’t want a poisoned dinner on my hands.” He chuckled, clearly enjoying the dynamic of his new extended family. "Guess I'll be on my best behavior. Wouldn't want to ruin Christmas with that. Thought I think Kate would LOVE me."

"Oh such a tough guys huh picking on your sister." She playfully rolled her eyes before finishing the pizza slice off. "Try a new troupe, Jase has the one in the bag, Has for the last twenty two years." It was just sibling things but she also grew tired of it.

"It would be a welcomed change, there was a time where almost every female handler fell in love with him." Jenna gagged, reaching over to the pizza box. "He loved it, I think he fucked most of them too. Oh accidently on-upping him huh? You know he's not an idiot he'd figure that out." She shook her head, already knowing it was such a bad idea but such a good one too. "I'll try and get Banner to schedule the mission soon. He's been asking if you're ready for that but Jase hasn't been sure." In true big brother fashion he wanted to protect Colt for as long as he could.

Her eyes flicked up to Colt, She wasn't sure if her honesty had crossed a line but now that he was here, she wished he'd been here her whole life. "Surely, I know you got everyone's files but not everything is in there ya know." Most of their childhood had been redacted after everything Sharon had done had come out. Like she was sure his files didn't have everything in them.

"Well... typically I go to The Wilsons in Louisiana for christmas. I love Sam's nephews and I end up back at Clints farm after. Spent a lot of time there as a kid, troubled youth can't do too much on a farm, I think Pepper has Thanksgiving covered and that'll probably be at the compound..." She shrugged, it was easier to play fake family with the devils she knew. "Just be nice to Yelena, She'll start throwing knives and if you flirt with Kate, she'll probably poison your dinner." Jenna chuckled, She loved all the new additions.

[morhath]

I'm about 2/3 of the way through To Shape a Dragon's Breath and I just want to say I love how everyday and mundane Anequs's home village is. Because like... obviously they're going to be but I think I've just read too many books where authors were Weird About It (she's Native American, although w/ different terminology in this setting).

[emeraldblonde]

I tried to mod something and the good news is, it didn't crash the game. 🥳 The bad news is, not what I was looking for lmao.

Like, don't get me wrong. I've seen way worse (the stuff of nightmares) on a modding channel I've been teaching myself this stuff lately, so. It's not like I completely fucked this thing up or anything like that.

It's just... I still gotta ask though.

What went wrong here?

[aroaessidhe]

2024 reads / storygraph

At The Feet Of The Sun

book 2 in a slow paced high fantasy duology*

the right hand of the emperor (who is off searching for an heir) struggles with what to do after passing on his responsibilities and also discovering various pieces of information that are mindblowing to him, personally,

after adventure is thrust upon him, he travels to find His Radiancy and they go on some otherworldly adventures while growing closer and figuring out the nature of their friendship

(*there’s extra novellas & i think another book coming? duology adjacent, currently,)

[manasurge]

1/3 of the way done of this last page, then I can finally post it all o|-<

[spacespore]

HI TUMBLRR it’s me

[shikai-the-storyteller]

Head in my hands wondering if I'll have to cut the entire Chume Labs section out because it's more suited to being a different chapter, but also knowing the next chapter can't have it either so I might have to cut it from this fic entirely aaaAAAAAAAAAA

[lastmurianwarrior]

Not an ask, I just really like your art of solo

((Really glad you do!! And nice of you to say so! Solo has basically been a main comfort character to draw lol. I majored in art, so drawing is kinda something I realllly like to do.

Sometimes I don't feel like I even can draw, but just sitting down and doing it anyway can help with getting out of that funk.

Today was like that - I didn't feel like I'd be able to hold a pencil properly [after yesterday was really rough.] But just doing this when I got home made me happier, and yes I'm doing much better now! <3

Youngster Solo doodles Rogue

[aeide-thea]

god i know that complaining abt fic which most of you haven't read, and which i won't, for politeness' sake, identify in this post, is a great way to come across as both dickish and boring—

but i've been rereading a very long, very satisfyingly plotty series that's a fandom darling and the thing is, when you read like 400k of an author's work at once it really starts to become painfully apparent what their priorities are, by which i mean two things:

holy shit they're obsessed with 'what if strong powerful men who could hurt you didn't (but did hurt Bad Guys) (and it was sexy of them),' which leads into

holy shit they do not appear to have thought through the implications of saying 'i will have my heroes take over the same power structures that have enabled abuse, make no real changes to those structures other than swapping out the leadership, and then claim that everything is wonderful now bc Good Men Are In Charge'??

like. i don't necessarily need every passing fantasy to present me with a coherent, revolutionary system of politics and ethics—sometimes things are just fun and sexy and not especially Examined and that's fine!—but by the time someone's written literally almost half a million words, and done a lot of worldbuilding while they were at it, i am going to start squinting if they seem to think a Good Man can e.g. become an emperor by killing off the leadership of multiple countries and installing puppet kings loyal to him and still remain a Good Man, even if the justification was that the original leadership was maltreating its citizens and deserved to be extrajudicially executed. like. this shit was a bad, autocratic move when the US did it in real life and it's still bad now that you're having our mutual blorbo do it in fiction! and that's not even getting into the whole thing where like. they've got servants who the Good Man and his friends ""treat well"" but who very much remain second-class citizens in terms of how the story actually frames them and their concerns. [this was also a huge issue i had with foz m*adows' most recent book—everyone wants to write about fantasy nobles but they also want to make them good people and it's like. honestly i think it might be better to get comfortable writing about flawed people, but also—if your aristos aren't treating their servants like equals and your text isn't either, you haven't actually cracked the Moral Aristo paradox, sorry!] like, there's nothing that says your story has to depict a fully Healed World, nor should there be! but it's troubling if you seem to be convinced you've written one (and have your wide-eyed love interests constantly marveling at it!) when you very patently haven't.

[gaydryad]

accidentally getting a little too into my pedagogy class and starting to wonder if I should pivot and go into education (academic field)

[vampiremourning]

ngl. unconsciously disengaging from this website has been hdjfkg kinda good for my mental health overall? like yes im still dhdjfjf left out of a lot of stuff BUT i see it less so that means my feelings don’t get as hurt lmao. functionally that’s more or less the same thing probably?

going recluse isn’t what i ever want to do (& I didn’t even do it on purpose, just got busy and had a low social battery because of it) but aside from me being overall comfortable by myself, it just kind of seems like it’s where people are content to leave me. doesn’t feel great but it is what it is.

[maraeffect]

started watching hopecore right before bed and MAN. what a life it is we live on this earth.