#I have to actually eat healthier and cut down on take out and start working out daily again. Ugghhhh

[thateclecticbitch]

Hey quick question when does the misgendering stop

[blissfullyecho]

healthy lifestyle habits + changes i’ve made in 2023 (part 1)

1. feeling my breasts (the muscle) for any abnormal lumps at least once a week— this is especially important a week after the first day of my period. i’ve learned this from my obgyn. it’s normal to feel some lumps because it’s a muscle but what’s abnormal would only be known IF you take the time to know your anatomy.

2. ditched soda completely and started drinking flavored seltzer water— what i’ve found to be good is putting a crystal light or water flavoring packet in there for a healthier alternative to soda. i like soda with greasy food because i feel like it helps “cut” the grease so this is good if you are the same way when you eat things like pizza, burgers, etc.

3. i stopped drinking alcohol— wine, spirits, champagne, all of it. if i go out, i order a seltzer with a lime or a mocktail of some sort.

4. i started being on social media less and it has made my sleep schedule better— i started using the queue feature on tumblr and i took less interest in instagram and tiktok. i love these apps but i stopped finding other people more interesting than i am

5. i stopped eating so much—i would mindlessly eat all day but now i have a set eating schedule which helps me focus on other things besides eating. i eat breakfast around 6am, lunch around 1:30pm, and dinner at 5pm. my meals go from big (breakfast) to small (dinner). i’ve noticed that these are the only times i actually get hungry so i’ve been listening to my body and being intuitive in such that i have a routine down.

6. just recently, i have started going to bed and waking up at the same time each day, even on weekends— this has helped me by having increased energy and just a better quality of sleep. i have to wake up at 4:45am on some days because of work so i use that time to wake up everyday and go to bed around 9:30pm.

7. confession: i used to be horrible at flossing, but now i have been flossing every night before i brush my teeth— i floss before so i can loosen up the food that’s lodged between my teeth so that when it’s time to actually brush my teeth, the bristles can get in there better to clean.

8. this is typical and base level, but i’ve been drinking water like crazy— i highly recommend a large, cooling water bottle that you can carry around with you throughout the day. it’s so important to stay hydrated. i aim for a minimum of 64oz, but sometimes reach up to 80oz if it’s hot, if i’m active, etc. i listen to my body but i don’t drink less than 64oz of water each day

9. i’ve been getting my body moving daily— it’s a privilege to move your body so i make the effort each day to be active. the days i work at the hospital, i’m on my feet my entire shift pretty much with the exception of my lunch break. when i’m charting, i try to stand instead of sit but i do allow myself to sit when i’m tired. so my hospital shifts allow me to be active and walk my 10,000+ steps each day but when i’m not at the hospital, i go to the gym and do an hour workout session there.

10. i started drinking my coffee black— it’s so gross, but i need the caffeine for work but i don’t want to have the unnecessary sugars that i like to have in my coffee. i’m starting to get used to it (kinda) and i don’t have those crashes like i used to when i did put cream and sugar in my coffee. occasionally i’ll have a sugary and creamy coffee, but it’s not a daily occurrence like it was before.

[sunshinejeonglixie]

Only You

tags: sfw, gender neutral reader, !!eating disorder!!, sad but comfort (if that even makes sense, like its sad but changbin makes it better), supportive helpful bf changbin

description: reader struggles with an eating disorder after comparing themselves to the other idols changbin is around all the time, he comes in and takes care of them and gets them back into a more positive mindset and healthier habits

a/n: i'd been thinking recently about how much i love changbin & his health positivity and how much he preaches a "take care of yourself don't worry about the amount of food" kind of mindset and i just love it so much so then this idea came to mind. anyways, y'all please take care of yourselves please know that your health is so much more important than any number, any looks, anything & you are so loved just the way you are.

!!Everything written here is fiction, not meant to be taken as real life, if anything here makes you uncomfortable please just block & move on!!

“Only down 4 more pounds?” you whisper to yourself, staring at the scale in front of you.

Every week you check, and every week there is more disappointment.

Over the past 2 months you’ve lost about 5 or 6 pounds a week, trying more and more to get that number to go up. You’d wanted it to be more, trying more to get past a certain mark. Only having one light meal each day and working out more than you should. Is it a healthy thing? No, and you know that. But it’s what needs to be done in your mind.

This habit started after you went to music shows with your boyfriend, Changbin, more often recently. You’d seen some of the other idols, admired them, saw how everyone loved them and chased after them. Consistently complimented their bodies and their looks. You’re not sure why it got to you so much, it’s not like anyone said anything bad to you, you just wanted people to see you that way too. Maybe if you lost weight, they would look at you like that, treat you that way too, you thought.

You decided from that point you’d cut down on the amount of food you eat and increase time at the gym with Changbin. You’d already been going with him pretty regularly, so the increase wasn’t too suspicious or anything. The difficult part was hiding the fact you weren’t eating more than a small meal each day. Changbin was very attentive, especially with food. Always trying to get you to try new things, share his food with you, and make sure you were well taken care of.

You’d been able to brush him off a bit, which you felt a bit bad about if you’re being honest, and just convince him you were already full or didn’t want to try what he was offering. You’d hoped he wasn’t catching on, but you started to wonder if maybe he noticed more than he let on. When you’d have food together he always started by trying to feed you first, trying to get you to have a little more, things like that.

Your secrets and plans all came crashing down in one day. It started in the morning with you going over to the dorms to hang out with the members, at this point they weren’t just his friends they were yours too. Lee Know had made a special breakfast and immediately brought you some to try. The look on his face when you told him you didn’t want any definitely made your heart sting a bit, he always showed his love through providing for others so when his friend didn’t want any it hurt him a bit, even if he tried to hide it.

“Changbin already headed off to the gym y/n” I.N says through a mouthful of food.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full” Lee Know scolds.

“Thanks Innie, I was actually coming here to hang out with you guys though.” You smile.

“ooo, come with us to dance today?” Felix asks.

“I don’t have any dance clothes with me. I’ll watch though!” you explain, trying to make any excuse to get out of it just in case it could reveal any of your bad habits.

“You can borrow some of mine if you want.” Felix smiles at you, always a helper.

“Oh… yeah alright I’ll go then.” You start to become nervous, damn Felix and his consistently helpful nature.

They all smile, glad to have an extra friend coming with them today. You can’t help but become a bit nervous though, show any signs of weakness or any of the habits you’ve created, and they’ll all know.

After everyone is done with breakfast you all get ready for dance and head off to the company. You in some shorts of yours you found in Changbin’s room and one of Felix’s T-shirts he let you borrow.

Once you get to the company some of the other members meet you there, all of them except Changbin and Chan are there, they were running late after finishing at the gym.

You all started warming up, stretching so there wouldn’t be any injuries. Lee Know decides they’ll just start without Changbin and Chan for a bit and they can catch up later. They ask you to fill in one of the spots since you know almost every Stray Kids choreography.

Everything is going fine for a bit, you’re tired and it’s hard since you’ve not eaten anything to keep your energy up today but it’s fine. You can work through it you think.

That is until you start to get a fuzzy feeling, the room starts to spin. You try to step to the side and sit down but it’s too late. You pass out and hit the ground, hard.

Of course, everyone immediately becomes super concerned. Lee Know stopping practice and taking charge, telling Felix to find out where Changbin is and having I.N run downstairs to the medical office in the company.

You’re not out for long, 5 minutes maybe, but that feels like an eternity to the panicked boys.

As soon as you start to wake up you see the JYP nurse sitting on one side of you, Lee Know on the other, and Felix running back in with Changbin and Chan directly behind him.

“Hyung what happened?” Changbin asks Lee Know

“We were doing dance practice and they just dropped, we’re not sure.” Lee Know explains, moving out of the way for Changbin to take his spot sitting next to you.

“Baby what happened? Are you ok?” Changbin takes your hand, almost in tears with worry.

All of it is very overwhelming. Your whole body filled with panic, knowing that you’ll have to explain something and that all your unhealthy habits will be revealed. Everyone is watching you with concern, not sure how to respond to anything.

“All your vitals are ok, have you had anything to eat within the past 24 hours?” the nurse asks.

“Um…” you hesitate, knowing you need to tell the truth, but at the same time ashamed of the truth.

“No. I haven’t.” you stare at the floor, not willing to look at anyone around you, feeling they’re all going to be disappointed.

“I imagine that’s the problem then. Have a good meal, get some rest, and you should be ok. Don’t do any more intense physical activity without proper amounts of food and water.” The nurse scolds before packing up her things and tells you to come visit her if you have any more issues.

You nod, tears filling your eyes, no words to explain the feelings going through your body right now.

“Nothing in the past 24 hours?” Changbin whispers

You can’t bear to listen to his disappointment. Before anyone can react you push yourself off the floor and walk out the door.

Back in the practice room everyone has different levels of shock and confusion. No one knows how to react until Lee Know speaks up.

“Well go talk to them, aren’t you going to?” He looks at Changbin.

“Yeah, right, of course I am.” Changbin stands up, following Lee Know’s instructions, as if he hadn’t even had a full thought until Lee Know said that.

Changbin walks out of the practice room, walking down the hall to find you sitting at the top of the stairs, crying.

“I know you’re mad, you don’t have to tell me.” You say before he can even get a word out.

“I’m not mad.” He says while sitting down next to you and grabbing your hand.

“Yes you are, I made a stupid decision and got myself hurt because of it. You have every right to be mad.”

“I’m not mad.” He repeats before continuing.

“I’m concerned as hell, but I’m not mad.”

“You should be mad.” You say through more tears.

“No. I shouldn’t be, and I’m not.” Changbin says, trying not to cry just from seeing you struggle.

“y/n when was the last time you had a meal? A real full meal?”

“Tuesday evening when we had dinner together.” You mutter, almost quiet enough he’s not sure he heard correctly.

“Baby it’s Thursday morning. Have you had any sort of snacks or anything since then?” he asks, growing more and more worried.

“I had a piece of toast yesterday morning.”

Changbin is speechless, trying to find the right words.

“We need to get you something to eat baby.” He says, standing up.

You nod, knowing he’s right but still too nervous to look at him.

“Lee Know always keep snacks in his backpack, I could get those from him and then come back and we can talk more before we go get lunch?” He asks.

You shake your head; you don’t need everyone to know everything yet.

“I can’t tell them… they’ll be mad too.” You whisper.

“Baby I won’t tell them anything you don’t want them to know. They won’t be mad at you, just like I’m not mad at you. We’re all just worried.”

“I wanna go home.” You cry, grabbing his hand to pull him back next to you.

“Ok, we can go home. I’ll take you home, we can order some lunch to be delivered, and we’ll talk.” Changbin says, wrapping his arms around you.

He picks you up off the floor, holding you in his arms before setting you back on your feet.

“I’ll go get our stuff and then we can go, yeah?” He asks.

You nod and let him go to walk back to the practice room.

Once he walks back into the practice room, he’s met with a mixture of many different things. Questions, worries, and even some tears from a worried Hyunjin.

“Is everything ok?” Felix asks.

“I’m working on it; I’m just coming to get our stuff and then we’re going home for the day.” He explains.

“We’ll keep working here, we’ll stay out of the dorm for a while so you can talk.” Chan says.

“Thanks, hyung, coming back around dinner time is fine.”

He takes both of your guys’ bags and heads back out to you, grabbing your hand and taking you home.

The walk home is hard, both mentally and physically. The exhaustion is still getting to you and mentally your brain won’t stop moving. Once you guys get back to the dorms Changbin leaves your stuff in his room and brings you to sit at the table, quickly ordering food to be delivered.

“How long have you been doing this?” Changbin asks.

“A bit over 2 months…” you admit, no point in lying to him about it now.

Changbin’s heart shatters into a million pieces at this point, his baby has been feeling this way and not taking care of themselves all this time and he didn’t know.

“I’d noticed you’d lost weight, but I thought it was just because you’d been coming to the gym with me so much.” He says, his voice filled with guilt.

“Binnie you couldn’t have noticed.”

“What changed? What made you start feeling this way?”

This question brings more tears, knowing you’re going to have to tell him the truth and confess all the terrible thoughts you’ve been having is hard.

“When I went to the music shows with you, I saw everyone there and how good they looked and how much everyone complimented them… I figured if I lost weight, looked like them, maybe I’d be better for you. People would look at me like that too.” You confess.

“But you’re so beautiful baby, you don’t need to be like them. Especially not for me. I chose you; I didn’t choose them. I chose you because I want you exactly as you are.” He comforts.

“But you’re so perfect Binnie, and I’m just-“ you start before he cuts you off.

“Don’t you dare say anything negative. You’re absolutely beautiful and amazing and I love you so much. I’m not perfect, no one is, but that’s ok. I don’t need you to be perfect I need you to be healthy and safe, I need you to be you.” He says before pulling you from your seat at the table into his lap in his seat.

Instinctively you hold yourself up a bit, not relaxing all your body onto him. He immediately notices this and pulls you closer before speaking.

“Relax, don’t hold your weight off of me, you’re so gorgeous.”

“I’m too heavy Bin” you mumble.

“No, you are not, I lift more than this in the gym every day.”

“I was gaining too much before.”

“Baby no you were not, you were gaining whatever your body needed. Healthy bodies aren’t always tiny and that’s ok. That’s still beautiful.”

His words really do bring lots of comfort, even if you don’t fully believe him yet. Finally, you hear a knock at the door and the food is delivered.

“Let me make your plate for you please.” He asks, and you nod. Knowing it’s probably for the best.

He sets a plate down in front of you, not an overwhelming amount of food, but enough.

“When you’re finished with that if you’re still hungry there’s more.” He says

“Thank you Binnie.”

“Anything for my baby.”

After you guys eat, and he very closely monitors all that you ate, you guys decide to watch a movie to take your minds off the stress of the day.

Once the movie is over he tells you that you guys need to create a plan. One day of talking isn’t the end of this and you both know it.

“I want you to stay here for a while.” he asks, wanting to be able to keep an eye on you when needed.

“Binnie this is so much farther from work I can’t walk all that way.” You remind him.

“You can take my car; I’ll walk to work or take Lee Know’s car when I need it.”

“Alright. I’ll need to get a lot of stuff from my apartment if I’m gonna be here a while.”

“That’s fine, I’ll make space in my closet, and we can go pick stuff up tonight.” He agrees before continuing.

“I don’t want you eating by yourself for a bit.”

“Binnie I can eat a meal by myself.” You say.

“Love, please, just for some peace of mind. I want you to eat with me, the members, your family, your friends, someone just for a while. I need to make sure you’re actually eating.”

You understand where he’s coming from, agreeing that it’s probably a good idea.

“Anything else?” You ask.

“Not at the moment, if I think of something else I’ll come to you.” He says.

“I appreciate your concern Binnie.”

“I just love you so much baby I have to take care of you.”

Later that evening the rest of the members return from the JYP building, by that point you’d fallen asleep in Changbin’s room, exhausted from the day’s events.

Changbin walks out to greet the members, asking what they got done during dance practice.

“Absolutely nothing.” Lee know says with a slight irritation in his voice

“Where’s y/n?” Felix asks Changbin.

“In my room sleeping.”

“Are they ok?” Hyunjin asks, stress still in his face.

“They’re fine, we’ll talk about it later. Why didn’t you guys get any work done?”

“Why do you think?” Chan laughs

“You guys didn’t have to spend the whole day stressing I have it under control” Changbin is thankful they worry about you like he does but also worried they didn’t get any work done all day.

“I tried telling them that but apparently I ‘don’t know shit’ according to Han & Felix” Lee Know says with an eye roll.

“Hyunggg we said we were sorry for saying that” Felix whines.

“Yeahhh we were just worried we didn’t mean it.” Han agrees.

“Whatever I’m not really offended but don’t you people think that if something was a major emergency that Changbin couldn’t handle he would ask for our help??” Lee Know says, sounding like this is a point he’s made about a thousand times today.

“Let it go. We’ll get stuff done tomorrow.” Chan says before anyone can reply to Lee Know.

Slowly you wake up after hearing the voices in the living room, worried about what everyone has to say, but glad they’re home. You’d felt a little bad basically kicking them out of their house for the day. You decide to just get it over with and head out there, any questions you can’t answer or anything that becomes too overwhelming can be taken on by Changbin. He’d already promised he’d help you talk to them.

As soon as you walk out the bedroom door you’re met with smiles and hellos from everyone.

“Hi baby, did you sleep well?” Changbin asks, coming over to hug you.

“mhm, your bed is so comfy.”

The silence from everyone is a bit awkward for a second, no one knows quite what to say until Lee Know walks into the kitchen to do dishes which seem to unfreeze everyone, and they all move to do their own things.

The next couple days are slightly stressful, having to explain what happened to everyone and Changbin recruiting them to what he calls the “y/n protection squad”. When you asked what he was protecting you from he responded very seriously with “your brain” which made you giggle.

There’s always someone there with you when you have a meal, even if you both just eat next to each other while you do separate things, there’s always someone making sure you actually eat the meal. It’s not easy at first, getting back to eating more than one meal a day is a slow process, so your body doesn’t react too weirdly to it. The first day you ate more than 2 meals a day you got a stomachache for the rest of the day, so you’ve decided it’s gonna be a slower process.

It's also a difficult process because of the stress and anxiety you still feel eating “so much” even though it’s a healthy amount. Changbin has forbidden use of the scale for a while, just to keep your mind off the numbers and back on the health side of it.

“Numbers on a scale have nothing to do with how you feel or what your body needs” he reminds you when you think of weighing yourself again.

It’s nearly a year before your eating habits are more stable and healthier again, and even at that point you can still have some rocky moments. Over that year you’ve gone back to those bad habits twice, always saved and pulled back by Changbin and the other members. You still eat with someone else for about 95% of your meals, not because Changbin tells you to anymore but because he was right, it really does bring you comfort and help you finish a meal without panicking too much about it.

One of the biggest struggles came when they had another comeback, and you went back to the music shows with them. Changbin told you he’d understand if you didn’t want to go but that you were more than welcome to come. Seeing some of the other idols talking about their diets and how much they’ve lost really sent you into a bit of a panic.

You’d walked back to the Stray Kids dressing room in tears, just looking for anyone to try and pull you out. You found the whole group there, immediately you grabbed on to Changbin, explaining what had happened.

“Honey don’t worry about them and what they’re doing, ok? You do what’s healthy for you and your body. You’re so gorgeous and beautiful and I’m so proud of how hard you’re working to take care of yourself.”

“Why are you with me when you could have any of them? They’re better, prettier, smarter-“ you start to ramble before Changbin cuts you off.

“I don’t want any of them. I want you. Only you. You are special, I love you because of who you are. I don’t want you to be like them, if I wanted someone like them I’d find them. I found you because I want you.” He says before continuing.

“And for the record I think you’re the most gorgeous smartest best person in the world so don’t you dare say they’re better than you.”

He holds you close running a hand up and down your back. His words are comforting and reassuring. It makes you realize that he’s right, there’s a reason he chose you and not anyone else.

“Thank you Binnie, I love you” you say, hiding your face in his chest. Slightly embarrassed to let your insecurities get the best of you in front of everyone.

“There’s no reason to thank me baby, I will tell you these things every day until my last breath if it’s what you need to understand that I love you and you’re perfect the way you are.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt but we gotta get going soon.” Chan says before everyone starts to grab their stuff from around the room.

Once everyone is packed up and ready to go you all head out to vans to go back to the dorms. The whole ride home you just think about how loved you feel. Not just by Changbin but by all the members, of course their love is in a different way than Changbin’s but it’s still love. The amount of time, energy, and effort they’ve put into helping you all this time makes you feel so good. It’s a long road to being ok, and it’s ok to not be ok, just knowing you can ask for help and that they’ll be here to catch you when you fall is enough.

[getrektfools]

vent, kind of fatshaming, super long

so there are now TWO morbidly obese members of my family I'm aware of who have prescribed wegovy or ozempic. you can ONLY be prescribed these drugs once you are clinically obese. obviously they need the help but please explain to me why my brother - unemployed, literally sits on the couch playing video games all day (10+ hours a day!!!) gets to just get a shot to melt the weight off. when i hit the overweight threshold and wanted to stop gaining/drop back into a normal weight, all i get told is to monitor my calories more closely. the weight gain already had me flirting with relapse, then i find out the heaviest in my family are getting drugs thrown at them to drop weight and I'm being told "just keep an eye on your calorie count". The guy you just prescribed weight loss drugs to? He ate an ENTIRE FAMILY SIZE BAG OF CHIPS on top of his actual meals!! Plus ice cream before bed! All in the same day!! Only got up to go from couch to bathroom or couch to kitchen. But I, 3 lbs overweight, runner, regular gym goer, recently recovered anorexic, better just work harder.

when my mom told me her doctor was starting her on ozempic I said "god i wish i could get on it just long enough to lose 8 pounds or so" and she tells me "oh there are other things you should try first" so why don't these obese fucks try those other things? like you weren't screaming yelling at me in the hospital because you were so angry at me for doing this to myself. i am extremely capable of those "other things." I am probably TOO capable of those "other things." Those "other things" are addictive to me.

during this conversation, she's eating a double serving of fruit dumplings with literally a quarter cup of sugar in her coffee. two or three cups every morning. she could just swap for diet sweetener and cut out 400-600 cals a day! a pound a week in just the sugar in her morning coffee!!! when she visits me she just sits on my couch watching movies. i'll plan activities but inevitably it's too hot out, too windy out, too far away. can't we just order in from that restaurant she likes and rent a movie? there's an awesome park with several restaurants .8 mile from my house, i like to walk there and pick up lunch from a restaurant and picnic by the pond when weather and schedule allow. can't do that with my mom, she gets completely out of breath and her knees hurt. we have to drive. not even a mile and we have to drive. shared fitbit data with my sister for a while (also fat but nowhere near mom or baby brother), and she was averaging only 800 steps a day! a day!

obviously its better for society at large to have fitter citizenry, and i want my family to be healthier, but. feels like they are being rewarded for their absolute lack of self control. Eat yourself into three of you? Here's a shot to burn fat. Can't expect you to put down the chips! Meanwhile the rest of us who have actually exercised self control (too much self control in ana/mia cases) throughout our lives get told "no shortcuts! work harder! you don't get help!"

i know it isn't rational but this is how i feel. i am glad they are getting medical support to lose weight, because i want them to be around for a long time. i want to be able to walk to the park with my family. i want them to have the energy and ability to do things beside sit on the couch. i want them to be able to play volleyball with me or actually SWIM when we go to the beach. I want them to be able to take their dogs on regular, good length walks!

also obviously i am tempted to try and steal few pens of the wegovy but i won't do that to him. i can lose weight on my own. but god is it tempting. he's almost definitely not going to follow any diet recommended or increase his activity level, so its kind of like, a waste of perfectly useful medication isn't it? maybe he'll surprise me. maybe this is the boost he needs to start taking care of himself a little better. small changes add up, after all.

in a sick way this is motivating me to push myself even harder - lose more weight , faster. prove i don't need it.

[valerico]

I had found out I had an insulinoma when I tried to cut sugars after getting comments on my weight and immediately started getting the worst feelings of my life. I had bad confusion spells, full body shakes, and dizziness. I had felt like I was in a waking dream for about a week before it got bad enough that I finally went to the doctor.

Once I finally get there, I'm pale and shaking, they get me in and test my blood sugar which I was confused about since I know I wasn't diabetic (the only blood sugar issue you can have of course /s). They get the results in only a moment and my blood glucose level is 31. The average range is between 70-120, at 50 you start getting into major health issues, at 20 you hit an immediate major coma risk.

They sit me down, get two things of orange juice and one apple juice into me, and begin taking blood tests. It's only a while later that they tell me that what I probably have is an insulinoma, a rare type of tumor that mass produces insulin, turning what sugars I have in my system into unusable byproduct, leaving no sugar for my body. They tell me to buy a blood sugar monitor and that my treatment until I can get surgery is to supplement my diet with more sugars. And guess what's really hard to do in a culture that has worked tirelessly to cut as much sugars as they can from all food!

During this time I have become innately familiar with how much sugar is in most of the food I eat, and let me stress these "junk foods" I had been steered away from for having "too much" sugar barely have enough to keep me upright. When I went for my follow up and told my doctor about this, he told me, straight up, that if I can't get enough sugars then I need to start supplanting my diet with spoonfuls of raw sugar to make up for it, because that option is actually 10x healthier than trying to eat about 3x the food I would normally be eating to fulfill that sugar deficit.

As someone with a body that needs sugar more than the average person, the idea that cutting sugars from the diet is always better has not sat right with me at all. Your body needs energy and if it can't get it through your food it will tear you apart looking for it. My case is the extreme version, yes, but everyone needs sugars, and the only thing cutting them does is make sure that you have to eat more to get the same energy you would had you just eaten the slightly more unhealthy thing, because you might stop needing, but your body won't.

"sugar is poison" sugar is your body's preferred fuel choice and if you stop eating entirely you will die

[cryoriku]

hey you know it's really awesome and cool when ur a grown adult and after getting in a fight with ur mother who still insists on disrespecting and mocking you at any chance, ur adoptive father who has only ever been a source of fear since you were very little calls and instead of screaming at you he's very level and is legitimately concerned about my mental state.

some of his takes are still very shitty. even tho i routinely try the pacifist approach with her she can't stop mocking me and disregarding my boundaries and he acknowledges how aggressive she can be, he still puts the burden on me to be better and suck it up for the sake of maintaining a relationship (which is bs. both sides need to work or i shouldnt have to put up with it after all the abuse i dealt with as a child). and he thinks i need to just get back on meds which is such a backwards stereotype way of thinking that isnt accurate bc i stopped my last new meds bc they didnt really do much for me and gave me bad side effects.

it makes me feel like shit and embarassed now for being depressed and like all the efforts i have been making on getting out of my apartment more often and eating healthier and stuff arent being seen and just the worst of me is. it sucks too bc our mental health took a new redive after one of our ex's told us how we seem to not want to get better. which is an insanely fucked up thing to say and not worth listening to so we have tried to just ignore it but it haunts us still along with toxic ex friends whove talked about how pathetic and disgusting we are for being mentally/emotionally weak. which is wrong and bullshit and hirrible and WE HAVE gotten better before we want to be better again we're sick of living in a rollercoaster we want to be ourselves again 100% of the time and not just some of it, but believe it or not it's hard to keep your head above water much less swim to shore when people are constantly shoving you back down and wondering why youre not succeeding in breathing. dont you see how hard I'm trying?

plus with our dad it just gives us a fucked up moral dilemma of ik how estranged and distant his family is like theyre allergic to showing courtesy or affection and he was raised to be a good mannered cowboy and just sit and take when his mother does him wrong because it's family and he doesn't wanna lose it, so the same is true here, but I've already had it in my head for years that at some point i may have to cut ties. I'm just fucking caught. I'm trapped by the good moments we have, the good aspects of my parents and my sister. I'm caught by the fact my dad doesnt have a close family and everybody in my moms family has that same genetic ego that makes everyone think theyre better than everyone else or made them isolate and hide and die from drug overdoses alone in their bathroom. I'm caught by my baby niece who i don't want to leave alone with these people. I'm caught by my dog and grandma, until they pass, anyway. I'm caught by the stupid child in me who still *craves* a mother, *craves* a father, craves this idea of a family i never really had except in blurry photos if you dont look too close.

any fucking ways..... if anybody is able to get a therapist who can actually help me and not waste a year of my time trying to put me on drugs because they dont know how to do shit with systems and trauma to actually email me back, that would be epic.

i also want everyone reading this to stop seeing people as only their struggles or their trauma or their disability and start seeing them as PEOPLE with personalities and likes and interests first. believe it or not we don't think about our trauma or hardship a lot of the fucking time and it's real weird and a total fuckin bummer if thats all you seem to see. so, yeah.

have a happy sexy naughty bitchy sephiroth labor day guys

[jodilin65]

I got my lab results, and not surprisingly, many of the numbers aren't good. I suspected my TSH was elevated, and it turns out I was right. Fortunately, it's just barely into the double digits at 10.34. I'll start taking my multivitamins daily. The question is, what's responsible for that? Is it connected to my gastro issues or something else? It explains why I've had some hypo symptoms but not why I'm having trouble falling asleep or why my weight is down a few pounds. Maybe I'm starting to lose muscle now that I'm getting old.

Surprisingly, my T4 was never tested, but that's always been normal. Liver and kidney function are fine, but my RBC and hematocrit are up a bit. That's easily explainable by dehydration. Sometime after getting back from the lab yesterday, I became very lightheaded and my blood pressure crashed to 100/59 because I was dehydrated.

My glucose was 107, and I'm officially pre-diabetic with an A1C of 6.0. Tom was as high as 6.2, but he's been pre-diabetic for over a decade, so hopefully, neither one of us will actually cross over into being diabetic. I still prefer happiness over misery, but I'm going to do my best to find a good balance to help keep me out of the diabetic range without killing myself and feeling overly deprived of anything.

Weight loss is out of the question with the way I have to cut my calories so low to compensate for my thyroid issues, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life hungry, grumpy, and adding to my fatigue. But I can eat healthier and lessen my sugar intake. The thing is that I'm not that big, I already eat healthy most of the time, and get more than the recommended 150 minutes a week of exercise, so I know it's mostly a genetic thing. My mother had it, her father had it, my sister has it, and I'm sure there are others too. Skinny athletes can get diabetes. Still, I've got to try to get it under control because I know I wouldn't be able to tolerate diabetes medication. I'm way too prone to side effects for that. I've heard all kinds of nasty things about diabetes medication, so if I can barely tolerate medications that rarely give anyone trouble, I can just imagine what I would be in for on diabetes medication. So I'm not going to put myself out and make myself miserable, but I'm going to do what I can to improve my health, including going back to strength training a couple of times a week, even if that means I have to squeeze myself into a crowded lanai to get at the Bowflex in 90-degree weather.

Last but not least, my total cholesterol, LDL, and non-HDL were through the roof. I was surprised to find my triglycerides were normal.

While I'm on the subject of medical stuff, every now and then I look up the reviews on some of my old doctors out of curiosity. My old ENT, whom I loved so much, is still widely hated, LOL. One woman even claims she mishandled something when working on her daughter's tonsils, which left her unable to feel her lower lip, and how the doctor won't take responsibility for malpractice, etc. Others say she's not “warm and fuzzy.” LOL. She started off on the serious side with me but quickly became one of the most friendly and personable doctors I ever knew.

I got the incense sticks I ordered today, and I can't say I'm that impressed. They're so old and dry it's almost like they’re blank sticks. Some of them I can smell, but half of them just smell like smoke. I ordered some hand-dipped patchouli through Walmart. Haven't gotten the incense matches yet.

The safety pins didn't hold the sheet snug on the waterbed, so we ran the straps we were using before underneath the bed frame, and we'll see if that helps keep them a bit taut, though I don't think it will.

My lovable but naughty little rat pulled the eyelashes off one of Bailey's eyes, so now we're looking into a suitable glue so I can put new eyelashes on her. Tinkerbella loves climbing the closet shelves, and the doll was sitting on it. She could use new ones, though, because the old ones were kind of bent out of shape with all the moving we've done over the years.

The honker announced that his daughter’s pregnant and his grandson was on the way. Good for him, and good for me too, hopefully, because now maybe she'll skip coming to Florida next winter and using his truck so he can annoy me more often with the motorcycle. I don't know how far along she is, but I would think that for most of the time he's down here, if she wasn't at the end of her pregnancy, then maybe she wouldn't want to travel with a kid so young.

The only dream I remember last night was owning a gas car again and being too broke to fill it up.

I connected ChatGPT to OneDrive and asked it to correct a 36-page story that had 12 chapters but it only corrected part of it. I ended up with just 5 very small chapters and 7 pages. So it's great for current stories and journals but not projects that are already done. It might have done a better job if I fed it one chapter at a time rather than uploading the entire document.

It's not really worth redoing old stories, though. At least not right now. I like how I can tell it not to omit swears or change them and it doesn't. I also like how I can tell it to put the current day, date, and time for when I copy it in Word since Word doesn't automatically timestamp entries like the blogging sites do. I have to add italics, though.

[kingsteves-world]

LEAN GAINS Man sheds HALF his body fat thanks to the keto diet and cutting out the booze

Marc, AKA liqfitness, has been showing off his incredible 8.6st weight loss - which he claims only really kicked off once he went keto.

At his heaviest, he weighed in at 24st and had 56 per cent body fat. Men are classed as obese if they have over 25 per cent.

Having always struggled with his weight, he found himself ballooning after a series of serious injuries playing football in high school.

GET YOUR MEAL PLAN HERE

His weight piled on after a series of injuries

"I've always struggled with weight loss but that surgery and recovery made me gain a lot of weight," he said on his Instagram.

"I became so unhealthy that I couldn’t keep up with my football team’s workouts and I was very depressed."

He says that he started off just eating healthier last January.

“So I started off by just eating healthier around January 2018," he told followers in the "Progresspics" thread.

Eating healthier wasn't enough

“Cut out alcohol and focused on eating lean foods and veggies."

But he said that he "didn’t see much progress", because he wasn't keeping a track of how many calories he was consuming.

It was only when he started on a keto diet following a method devised by company Ideal Protein that things started to change.

"On Ideal Protein, I eat around 1100-1400 calories a day," he explained.

Cutting the calories and going keto was key

“It doesn’t seem like much, but once you get used to it, you realise how insane anything more than 3000 calories seems.”

The Ideal Protein Protocol is split into four phases: weight loss (followed until 100 per cent of your weight loss goal is achieved), a 14-day phase, a "pre-stabilisation" phase and a 12-month maintenance stage.

The company says that "chronologically, the body will first draw on its carbohydrate reserve before turning to protein and fat.

"During the weight loss phases of the Protocol, we limit carbohydrate intake to encourage the body to turn to its fat and muscle components for energy.

"By eating protein foods, the Protocol helps to support muscle mass and teaches you how to develop smarter eating habits and lifestyle choices, to help maintain your weight after weight loss is achieved."

Keto works by forcing the body to burn its own fat reserves for fuel, rather than carbs.

GET YOUR MEAL PLAN HERE

His doctor monitored him every week

While 1,400 might seem incredibly low for a man, Marc said that he was following a weight loss protocol as set out by his doctor who regularly checked in on him.

"He monitored me every week to make sure I stayed healthy and got the nutrients I needed. It was very hard to eat such little amounts, but it paid off,” he said.

“If you’re trying to lose weight, you need to cut that down to like 2,000 calories.

“My BMR (basal metabolic rate - how much you burn at rest) is 2,400 calories, so that’s how many calories I burn in a day without working out. It’s all a science.

"Eat fewer calories than you burn"

Despite getting down to a lean 20 per cent body fat, it's taking a little more time for all of Marc's body to change.

He says that he still has man boobs and had no idea that they'd still be there after so much fat loss.

"Fat loss is unique to everyone. That's why I always tell people not to compare themselves to others.

"You might lose weight in some areas faster than I lose it and vice versa. It's a process and one that I'm riding out!"

His weight loss journey hasn't just been about shedding body fat

"Overall, weight loss isn’t just about the weight. It’s a lifestyle change.

"You’d be surprised how many aspects of your life change when you make those sacrifices. I’ll never go back."

Lots of people swear by keto for fat burning but more and more research has suggested that carbs are actually essential from a health perspective.

While no one is suggesting you start mainlining chips, scientists are convinced that having a moderate amount of foods like potatoes, bread and pasta might extend your life by up to four years.

The key is to make sure that you're getting your fill of fresh veg every day and concentrating on avoiding processed grub.

[steamishot]

healthier

the vacation for the vacations - staying at home. since september 2022, i’ve been saying we need to stay at home, but for the past 7 months or so, i believe we traveled at least once a month, each month. to recap:

sept 2022: philly (bus)

sept 2022: tentrr camping (train)

oct 2022: LA (flight)

nov 2022: montreal (flight)

nov 2022: LA (flight)

dec 2022: NOLA (flight)

jan 2023: snowboarding trip in NJ (car rental)

feb 2023: autocamp in catskills, NY (car rental)

feb 2023: SF (for me)/LA (flight)

march 2023: portugal (flight)

goddamn, after writing it out, we’ve been to LA 3x in the past half year, and we had 12+ flights in the last 7 months. this is part of our learning process. LA is fine because it’s going to see family and we’re not as in a rush to do anything in particular. but the flying does take a toll. my life had become a series of unpacking and packing for the next thing. since portugal, i think we got it out of our systems; the thought of getting on another flight disturbs me as of now lol. but, we still have some obligations like weddings & a family trip to attend in the coming months.

ideally, i’d want no more than to fly every other month. a roundtrip flight in a consecutive month is too exhausting. the next trip we have will be in cape cod, which is a 4 hour drive. the next flight probably won’t be until may when we have a family trip in TN. 

we’ve been making great strides in becoming healthier since matt’s ER visit and portugal. it is possible that a crash and burn was needed to secure change.

it’s officially one whole month that matt has gone without drinking coffee (outside of taking a couple sips from mine here and there). he really has stopped yawning and his anxiety has significantly lessened. he’s currently on night shifts, and for the last 6 days has gone to the gym to run and workout for ~40 mins after his 12 hour shift (got that natural energy). this has been the best night shifts in terms of his mood. he used to get irritable/sensitive but now has learned to manage his schedule better. he’s more carefree about going into work (leaving the house at 7pm now instead of 6:30pm), we got a small sleeping bag for him to use so he’s actually been taking short naps/lying down at work (instead of chugging coffee like he used to to get by). this is the happiest i’ve seen him since 2nd year of residency. 

i decided to start my days earlier. because my work doesn’t start until 11am, i developed a bad habit of sleeping in until like ~10am on most days. this week, i woke up when matt came home from work (7-8am). i would go run errands or make breakfast when he was at the gym. i found it to be really refreshing to be out at 8am with the other early birds and grocery shopping/being out in general is so much more pleasant when there aren’t huge crowds or lines. on his day shifts, i’m going to try and wake up at 6am too (LOL sounds crazy in concept but i’ll try). 

we used to order delivery a LOT. i think a big reason was because matt wanted to eat unhealthy/tasty food due to stress (and added stress from overconsuming caffeine). we’ve cut back and i’ve been cooking much more. i’m actually so excited. continuing to learn to make sustainable things (i.e. stuff that doesn’t take very long to prepare, and using ingredients that aren’t one and done). my new fav youtube cook is marion grasby. i also recently got a cast iron (as inspired by G) and it has been very fun to cook with. i’ve been making more vegetables in general (i didn’t like to eat greens growing up). 

it’s been one week since returning from portugal and i feel recovered finally. talk about needing a vacation from your vacation(s). i looked like crap in our photos (also my eyebrow pencil ran out on the first day of the trip). after reading my recap of the trip, it sounds insane - running on little sleep, not taking naps, and continuing to go - no wonder i got sick. with the trips and consistent going out, i’ve been neglecting work and my studies. always feeling like i’m playing catch up or doing a crash course to make up for stuff. i’ve been behind in my accounting degree and feel bad that i’m letting my program mentor down for my lack of efforts in the past half-year. 

the next two months, i want to be a lot more consistent with work, studies and working out. traveling disrupts all of these things for me - the traveling itself, and also the planning/preparation/rest/adjustments. traveling requires us to first be healthy and rested (which is why back to back traveling with limited time does not work well). 

[allywritesforfun]

hey i really enjoyed your nightly routine post with wilbur? i was wondering if you could do something similar but in the morning instead?

awe my love! I'm glad that you enjoyed the nightly the routine... here is the morning routine!

{Morning Routine} Wilbur Soot x Reader

summary: you and wilbur made a nightly routine video that blew up more than you have thought, so now its time to do a morning routine!

pronouns: not mentioned

word count: 2280

trigger warnings: swearing, mention of a knife for going chop chop, this was too cute for even me to handle and it came from my hands

a/n: my god is this long! I really got carried away. I could've made this into two parts but whatevs

a/n pt 2: takes place after the “Nightly Routines” but not directly connected 

regular masterlist

wilbur masterlist

You deeply groaned as you fluttered your eyes open. This was not a great time to wake up. You really wanted another hour of sleep, but you knew you had work to get done today.

You looked behind you. You smiled at the sight of Wilbur in his sweet slumber, his arm lazily draped over your waist. Wilbur very much loved to be in bed with you. If he could, he would spend all day there, just you in his arms and some soft lofi in the background. 

That was something very rare to get. Being a streamer and musician, Wilbur was busy almost all the time and rarely took a day off. Mornings and nights were dedicated to you. However, there were times that you would stream with him, or stop by the office to give him food, but nothing was compared to waking up with him.

“Oh shit,” You whispered, “We’re supposed to do morning vlog today.”

You looked around for Wilbur’s camera, which was no where to be found. You settled on stretching over to nightstand and unplugging your phone. You looked back at Wilbur to make sure he was still sleeping. You could tell he was by the gentle raise and fall of his chest and subtle “Ah-woo”. You just knew that was the perfect way to start the vlog. You recored him for about ten seconds of him doing his ‘not really a snore but definitely something’ and giggled almost the whole way through.

You would think that after living with him for two months and the multiple sleepovers that you’ve had with him, that you would be used to it by now. But even today you still giggled just like you did when you first woke up with him. 

You snuck yourself out of bed and made your way to the kitchen. Once arrived you did the intro, “Good morning chat! It is currently about 6:30 in the morning, and as you realize, I am the only one awake. As you saw, Wilbur is still sound asleep and that how it is every morning. So we’re going to vlog our morning routine today, which I promise is way more interesting than the nightly routine vlog. So, Wilbur is literally the best person ever and deserves the world. And his world, besides me of course, is his morning coffee. So I’m going to use our Keurig to get his coffee started.” 

You stopped the recording and decided to get some of your creativity out. You weren’t musical like Wilbur and can't draw for shit, so videography was your way of being creative. You set your phone the in the corner and opened up the blind to let a little bit of light through. It still looked basic so you moved your plant to the background, which added the perfect look. You started brewing and hit record. 

While that was going, you measured out the creamer and syrup and grabbed your sippy cup for your chocolate milk. No judgement here. We all know chocolate milk tastes better in sippy cups. 

The brew came to a slow stop and you grabbed the camera, “Wasn't that a satisfactory angle chat? Now, I am more of an iced coffee person, so in the morning I have water or chocolate milk, and today is definitely a chocolate milk day.” You raised your cup to the camera and fake ‘clinked’ it, cutting the recording when it was closest to the camera. You finished up making Wilbur’s coffee and set it on the living room table. 

You looked at the time, 6:50 am, now was a good time to get Wilbur up. You always let his coffee sit out for a little bit, that way he could drink it the second that he woke up. You threw some napkins under your drinks and moved another plant over there. You wanted your place to look aesthetically pleasing, even if it was a little bit staged. You did a transition with your cup, this time now on the table.

“Okay chat, we all now mr. simpbur is a snuggler so we don't have breakfast in the kitchen, instead we share on the couch, that way we can get all of our snuggles in before he has to leave for the office. I have everything set up, normally I would prepare breakfast too, but I feel like cooking with Wilbur this morning. We’ll do this about once a week for some bonding time, so let's go get him up,” You decided to keep recording, just in case Wilbur woke up from your loss of presence. 

You creaked the door open, Wilbur was still asleep. He adjusted his body for that he was hugging a pillow, who you assumed was your replacement. You laid down next to him and just took a moment to admire him. It was moments like this that you forgot that you were internet personalities. This was you. This was Wilbur. Both of you living your life without needing to exaggerate yourself. This was Wilbur at his purest form. He was all relaxed, not even aware that he was being recorded.

You scooted closer to him and intertwined your legs with him. You brushed his bangs with the back of your hands and gently placed your lips on your forehead. He stirred a little bit, but not enough to wake him up. You took the pillow from him and wrapped your body around his, “Wilbur, my love, it's about seven, you need to get up.”

You could tell he woke up by him pulling you closer and burying his head only you neck. You gently massaged his head and twirled his curls between your fingers, “Come on Will, I got your coffee made already. We need to start breakfast.”

He shook his head and kissed your shoulder, “Mine.”

You laughed, “Yes Will, and ‘yours’ is hungry, let’s get up and eat.”

He slowly nodded and pulled you closer, “Mmmm... I love you.”

“I love you too, simpbur.”

He snapped his head up at the nickname and saw the camera, “Fuck-that’s today?”

You giggled and detached yourself from, “Say good morning to chat.”

He shook his head and buried it in his pillow out of embarrassment. You stop recording and put your phone on the stand. Just seeing Wilbur all flustered was enough to make you go back to bed. You laid back down with him and pulled him on top of you.

“We’re gonna have to re-record that part,” Wilbur mentioned.

You rubbed his cheek with your thumb, which he happily leaned into, “No bubs, we gotta keep it in. It was a very cute moment.”

He shook his head aggressively, “No! That was embarrassing!”

“Too bad, it’s on my phone so I get to chose what goes in.”

He huffed and grabbed your hand, accepting defeat, “You said you made my coffee?”

You two got up and sat down on the couch. Wilbur took you into his arms the second he took his first sip, his personal way of saying ‘thank you, you’re the best person to ever exist’. 

“What are you feeling for breakfast?” You asked.

“You,” Wilbur joked, kissing your temple. 

You gently pushed him, “No actually, I really want yogurt, so pick something that goes well with that.”

“Can we just make a fruit plate?”

You excitedly nodded, if it wasn't for Wilbur, you would not be eating healthy. He really made sure that you were going to live as long as he did. Neither of you could live without the other. If something crazy didn't happen to you, you were going to die from a broken heart.

Wilbur grabbed your phone and started recording, “So um, good morning chat, I’ve had some coffee and more awake now. What you just saw- no you fucking didn't. We’re on the sofa right now and we decided on a fruit plate with yogurt this morning, trying to be a little healthier considering we had ice cream at one am last night. So we’re gonna make that off camera, because if you guys get us to six million subs, we’ll do a cooking stream!”

“Oh we are now?” You questioned. “I was never told about this.”

Wilbur laughed and kissed your temple, “Well you know now, that's good enough innit?”

You shook your head and placed your hand over the camera, Wilbur stopped the recording. You go the fruit out while Wilbur prepared the sink for rinsing and knives for chopping. 

You made the plate look all nice and took it back to the couch. Wilbur placed his arm back over you and grabbed the remote with is free hand while you centered your phone.

“Okay chat, we’re gonna eat and watch tv for a bit, then you're gonna get ready with us. Wilbur has a test shoot at the office today, so we gotta make him look all pretty and obviously personal hygiene is a must... so yeah, brb.”

You two set up another game show to watch, it sorta became your go to show. Especially because there was no storyline and you could talk when you wanted. This was a pretty chill morning, you two enjoyed each other's presence. 

When you finished up, Wilbur took the dishes and you went to the bathroom and cleaned up a little bit. You heard Wilbur go into his closet, so you started recording, “Okay chat, last thing we do before he leaves is actually get ready. Wilbur is getting changed right now so I’m gonna brush my hair out. I can get a little aggressive with the snarls and Wilbur always thinks I'm ripping my hair out so I always do it when he's not around to make sure he doesn't get worried.”

You set the phone in the corner and set it up to record a time lapse. You heard off in distance some light pop type of music, so you knew that Wilbur got his speaker out.

“Are you playing copyrighted music?” You called.

“It’s released Lovejoy!”

You smiled, you always got giddy seeing how happy Wilbur was able to make himself with his own music. You set your brush down and started to wet your toothbrush, Wilbur slid into frame, already jamming out to his own music.

You covered your mouth with your hand stifled your laughter. Wilbur laughed with you and tugged on your waist, trying to get you to dance with him. You aggressively shook your head no, you hated dancing. You would think by now that you would be used to Wilbur and his random dance breaks, but you never came around. 

You looked down in shame as Wilbur attempted to get you to spin around. Once you made it clear that you were not in the mood to dance, Wilbur turned down the music and waddle over to the counter.

You grabbed the camera, “If someone wants a very tall British man, you can come get him. Warning: not fun dance outbreaks.”

“Oh come on now, y/n!” Wilbur wrapped his arms around your waist and placed his head on yours, “Stop pretending like you don't like to dance.” “You know I hate dancing,” You reminded him.

“Well chat, apparently I’m not allowed to have any fun in the morning? But anyway, that was a joke, but- we do really have to get ready. Should we do this Disney Channel style?”

You laughed and shook your head, “No, I think I just want to make sure you don't miss your meeting.”

“That’s at nine! We have time! Please let me have fun with you! It’s going to be such a stressful day!” He pouted with the cutest puppy dogs eyes.

There was no way that you could say no to him, “Alright, what fun we having?”

Wilbur said nothing and prepared his toothbrush like yours, “Last one to finish brushing their teeth has to do the dishes tonight.”

You hated dishes. You were winning this one. You didn't even wait for a countdown. You instantly grabbed your toothbrush and turned on the water with lightening speed. 

“What?!” Wilbur yelled. “That’s not fair!”

You did your best to bump him away, but it literally did nothing. Both of you were laughing very hard but Wilbur quickly caught up. You both fought with your hands, trying to cup a decent amount water. You both managed to get the water into your mouth and you turned to face Wilbur, it came down to who could rinse the fastest. You two just stared at each other, wishing the water around. You were dead serious. You were not doing the dishes tonight. Wilbur kept flaunting his hands around trying get himself to go faster, which ended up in him completely breaking out in laughter and spitting all over your face. It took you by surprise and all that you could you do was laugh to yourself, you eventually spit the water out in the sink, raising your hands in victory. 

“I am so sorry, love!” Wilbur took your hand and guided you into his arms, gently running his hand up and down your back, “I didn't think that would be that hilarious.” “It’s okay,” You laughed and looked back in the mirror. You were completely drenched shoulder up, “It was fun. Better to happen to me than you, you look really nice today for the shoot.” “Thank you,” Wilbur blushed and turned you around, “I think that is enough recording for today. All that we have left to do is leave so... thank you for watching! Subscribe now and remember, cooking stream at six mil! Bye guys!”

[fairymascot]

also, another question (sorry for being annoying) but, how would you make harley a villain again? dc is being so dense with making her a hero and it's so boring 😭 like, what kind of plot do you think could be done to turn her into a villain?

this is a really interesting question! and not annoying at all. :) (you're more than welcome to message me off anon as well, if you'd like! always enjoy making new comic nerd friends.)

anyhoo! one thought i had when i started reading harley's 2021 solo series (which i no longer follow, so don't expect any kind of congruence with it here), is that it's actually really uncomfortable to watch harley bend over backwards to impress batman. to me, it looked less like an honest shift in her character and more just... perpetuating her same old patterns. think about it. she met joker when she was in a rough place in life (if you look at sejic's take in 'harleen'), working a job that eats away at her soul and bottling her issues up for years on end. he makes her believe things can be different. offers her an alternative. she's utterly enamored with the world he promises. throws out everything that's made her her, and takes on a new persona to win his approval and earn her place by his side.

years pass, she emerges from the abusive relationship with joker. various nonsensical dc universe shit goes down. she loses ivy (temporarily), loses her sense of direction in life, feels alone and desperate. batman makes her believe things can be different. she takes on a new persona to win his approval and earn her place by his side.

i don't believe stephanie philips ever acknowledged this in the series, but it's so easy to read harley as someone with a pattern of molding herself to please influential male figures in her life, in the hopes it'll grant her fulfillment and a purpose. if we follow that logic, her decision to redeem herself and become part of the batfam is less her 'finding her true self' and more just, harley being harley and having an incredibly flimsy sense of personal identity. if they ever choose to go down this route, the natural conclusion would be that harley needs a break from deranged men in tacky costumes defining her life for her, and that she should break away and find her own path, which would probably lead her in a more chaotic, muddled, morally gray direction. that would be ideal for her, in my opinion.

(i have a bunch more to say about this, actually, so i’m just gonna stash the remainder of this text behemoth under a cut.)

even setting that particular interpretation of mine aside, though, it would be incredibly easy to de-redeem harley, because she honestly sucks at staying on the straight and narrow. there have been countless instances of her turning good for like twenty minutes before flipping right back -- in older comics and btas, for example, she'd cooperate with batman under specific circumstances, but ditch his ass the second joker was threatened. in gotham city sirens, she was content to live with selina and ivy in their considerably healthier and more functional threeway arrangement for months on end, but the second joker reentered her life, she turned her back on them.

even without joker in the picture-- as he's hardly relevant anymore-- you can see in the harley's holiday episode of btas, for example, that she could barely spend 6 hours outside of arkham without relapsing into her old habits. it's not even out of malice or criminal intent, it's just that she's been living as a villain for a very long time, she has an innate distrust of law enforcement, she's used to using violence to get her way and resorts to it as a kneejerk reaction. she's flighty and has a hair trigger temper and doesn't think before she acts. it's incredibly difficult for her to break the cycle and act 'correctly', even when she's making a conscious effort to. her characterization in the harley quinn animated series is consistent with this, as well-- even when she's trying to do the right thing, her idea of 'the right thing' is often warped by her skewed perception of reality and loose morals. she decides to 'save' nora from mr freeze because she assumes he's lying about keeping her frozen to protect her, which ultimately results in his death and horrible heartache for nora. and on a similar but lighter note, in her 2014 series she decides to take on a day job as a therapist at a senior center, basically trying to 'go straight', and ends up kidnapping and threatening the family of one of her patients, a sweet elderly grandma who told her stories of their heartbreaking neglect. harley thought she was delivering justice and teaching them a lesson for abandoning grandma. turns out she didn't read through her file, and grandma is suffering from dementia, and doesn't remember her family has been visiting twice a week for years. even when harley is trying to do good, she's uh, not great at it.

and let's also just take into account that a lot of aspects of her personality, are, like... bad? straight up terrible? don't get me wrong, i mean this lovingly. her current run tends to ignore this, but there's a REASON she spent years as the joker's lover-slash-sidekick, and it's not because she's a pure baby bean who had been brainwashed by him. she has dark, violent tendencies. she's sick of abiding by society's rules. she's manipulative. she's selfish and greedy. in her 2000 comic run, there's an entire arc where she has to act as a bodyguard for an elementary school girl with a rare ability who's being hunted by very rich men for nefarious purposes-- and even though they form a connection, and harley comes to care for her, she ends up selling her out for the money. this is a very similar trajectory to her relationship with cass in the birds of prey film, where she ends up selling cass out despite their developing bond. she regrets it later, of course. but she still made that choice.

with all that in mind, i think the real question is, how on earth would you keep harley a hero? the answer to which being: through extremely shallow and forced characterization dictated by crappy executive decisions. the dc higher ups saw that harley has become incredibly popular, that she's seen as something of a feminist icon and role model for girls, and went 'oh shit... she's too problematic... gotta make her a hero to justify her fanbase', never mind the fact that her fanbase formed AROUND her flawed, morally complex character.

realistically, harley wouldn't last a week as a hero. put her around the batfam or the justice league for more than an hour and they'd all want to kill each other. it would become exceedingly clear she is not cut out for the role. she does not have the moral compass or the self-discipline to be a proper 'good guy'. i don't think it even makes sense for her to WANT to be one. that's not to say her only choice is to be a villain-- but like i said before, carving out her own path, trying to do good in her own well-intentioned but messed up way, without giving up her selfish, chaotic, law-breaking side... that's the harley i want to see.

[thebestoftragedy]

https://www.gq.com/story/james-cameron-profile-men-of-the-year-2022

if you care at all about insane men. please read this. fave quotes below the cut.

@redactedmatopoeia @entertheaardvark you are both deranged go-getter enjoyers. I want to invite james cameron to dinner with all of you.

Cameron recalled working with Ron Howard, the famously nice director, on the visual effects for Apollo 13: “And I just watched what a great guy he was. I'm like, ‘I'm a total asshole compared to Ron Howard. I have to get in touch with my inner Ron Howard.’ And he probably has bad days, too, I don't know, but I didn't see it. And he was so complimentary to people. I always figured that no negative comment was the equivalent of a compliment. That's not how people are wired at all. You have to actually say it out loud.”

...

Because of Cameron’s clarity, and his ability to bring his crew into his process, Saldaña said, “When you are a part of a James Cameron project, you don’t feel like a tool. You don’t feel objectified.” But she acknowledged it took a particular mental toughness: “If you can take it, hang on, because it’s always going to be fun and beautiful and rewarding. But if you’re sensitive, and you can’t take it, then trust me, there is always somebody else who is going to accept it.” (She also said she’d gotten good advice from another actor who had worked with Cameron before, who’d noticed that Cameron often got so focused on what he was doing that he forgot to eat: “If he starts getting edgy, make sure you give him some chocolate and you give him some nuts.”)

…

A decade ago, Cameron and his wife decided to become vegans: “I’m 10 years, one hundred percent, not a molecule that I know of of animal entering my face. And I’m healthier than I’ve ever been, and most of these punks can’t keep up with me.” In an oblique way, this is part of the explanation for why Cameron has at times drifted away from filmmaking. “Nobody does empathy better than Hollywood,” Cameron told me. “But there’s a certain point where my mind wants to solve problems that are real-world problems.”

…

But Cameron still remembers an executive at the company—“who will go unnamed, because this is a really negative review”—who approached Cameron with a “stricken cancer-diagnosis expression” after a prerelease screening of the film and begged the director to shorten it. “I said something I’ve never said to anybody else in the business,” Cameron recalled. He said he told him, “ ‘I think this movie is going to make all the fucking money. And when it does, it’s going to be too late for you to love the film. The time for you to love the movie is today. So I’m not asking you to say something that you don’t feel, but just know that I will always know that no matter how complimentary you are about the movie in the future when it makes all the money’—and that’s exactly what I said, in caps, ALL THE MONEY, not some of the money, all the fucking money. I said, ‘You can’t come back to me and compliment the film or chum along and say, ‘Look what we did together.’ You won’t be able to do that.’ At that point, that particular studio executive flipped out and went bug shit on me. And I told him to get the fuck out of my office. And that’s where it was left.”

…

I was driving back to my hotel, not too long after, when the phone rang. It was Cameron, wanting to talk again about the shuttle flight he turned down and which eventually became—Goldin’s recollection differs here again, but no matter—a very notorious flight indeed. “I forgot the punch line to the story!” Cameron said. “The punch line is, the shuttle mission I refused? It was the Columbia.” His voice rose: “I fucking saved my own life by choosing the higher path!”

[dreamkidddream]

Hi, I like your work.

If you could I have an obey me request of the brothers and( if possible the undatebles). About a mc who is changing their habits to be healthier (like exercise and healthy eating).

Cause thats what am doing at the moment and I would like the encouragement.

Thanks

Good luck with your journey and you can do it! I’ll probably do the Undateables in a separate fic, but I’ll definitely do them in the future. Reader is gender neutral!

The Brothers with MC Who Wants to be Healthier

Lucifer

He supports you, just don’t let it get in the way of your studies 

Doesn’t really understand why but he doesn’t voice it aloud, and he likes that you’re actually making the effort too, showing a surprising amount of self discipline

He was amused (and worried) when you started working out with Beel, but was relieved when you came back okay and not missing any limbs

Still makes him worry though

He’s too busy to try and workout with you, but he does try to change his eating habits so you don’t feel like you’re doing this alone

(And this would explain why he’s been just a little bit crankier in the mornings since he cut back on his coffee intake. He won’t give it up completely, but he’s trying for you)

He does well keeping you on track though and knowing how strict he can be, it never got to the point of being overwhelming. It’s just his way of encouragement because he really means well and wants the best for you

Praises you so much, and you know it’s the truth too because Lucifer doesn’t just say anything to anyone. And takes his time in showing just how he is of you too, especially behind closed doors

He’s super proud of you, and he’s smug about it too. You’re his, you bear his pact mark on you, so he can’t help but show off your progress. It’s his sin, after all 

Brags to Diavolo like the proud boyfriend he is

Mammon

He somewhat understands, but doesn’t at the same time. You look beautiful, stunning, hot, sexy FINE to him, but if that’s what you wanna do, you’re not doing it alone!

(He claims that you owe him some Grimm and that you’ll discuss payment later, but he’s honestly just excited to be doing this with you and doesn’t know how to handle it)

When he says that you’re not doing it alone, he wasn’t kidding. He’s right alongside you (even though he’s already by your side literally all day every day) putting in the effort 100%, and he’s a great motivator too!

Mammon is a model, so working out and healthy diets aren’t new to him. He takes on the role as your very own personal trainer, even if he forgets that you can’t eat all the food that he can or do everything that he can since you’re human

He’s confused but he’s got the right spirit!

His energy is just contagious! Doesn’t matter what you guys did, whether it was eating something instead of the usual Hellfire noodles or coming back after you guys finished a run, he’s always facing you with a blinding smile on his face every time

Mammon is basically your partner in crime and vice versa, so DUH he was gonna do this with you! What kind of first man would he be if he didn’t?

You’re not alone in this MC, and he’ll make sure it stays that way

Leviathan

OOF, he feels like he’s the wrong person to approach with this

It’s not like he doesn’t want to support you! He does! But, we all know how he feels about doing anything physical or doing anything that will take him away from his safe haven...

(With the exception of video games, anime, and Ruri-chan of course)

He REALLY doesn’t understand why you’re doing this, to him it’s like pure torture!

But, he sees how happy you look and how much energy you have now, so (with your help) he looked at it from a different angle...

That you were LEVELING UP

That’s what got him hype

(He still wouldn’t do it with you unfortunately)

He would unironically go on one of his rants and just be in awe at how much you’re powering up, waayyy better than his video game characters or some weak anime MCs; it’s just his way of encouraging you to keep going

He’s still too embarrassed to be straight forward to you, but you’re an inspiration to him. He expects nothing less from his Henry!

(If you see him trying to do any type of exercise in his room: no you didn’t!)

Satan

He finds it endearing to be honest, and he’s glad to help. Maybe he can find some helpful information in one of his books...

He’s not gonna act like your personal trainer like Mammon but he’s gonna be like your personal tutor but for your health!

“MC, make sure you don’t overdo it. I know you want to keep pushing yourself- and you’re doing more than a spectacular job- but you’ll end up hurting yourself if you overexert. How about you do some stretches as a cool down instead?”

Believe it or not, if he does do any type of workout with you (which would be somewhat rare), it would be stretches, only because it is somewhat calming and helps with how tense his body can be

And he enjoys the time he gets to spend with you

But he’s never afraid to give you motivation or give you compliments; he does it proudly and rather bold

Even if it seems like he’s just teasing you, Satan is being 100% honest. You’re already perfect in his eyes, but it just makes it more obvious seeing you doing something for yourself and being happy about it

Asmodeus

I feel like Asmo would be one of the most helpful brothers (besides from Beel of course) because he likes to take care of himself, and that includes eating healthy and working out

Even though doesn’t like to sweat and he hates the idea of feeling gross, he won’t whine (as much) because it’s something that he wants to do. He’s very big on self-love and having confidence, and he’s a firm believer in feeling good about yourself always, no matter what shape or size you are. After all, you gotta feel good to look good!

Plus, he has taken some devilishly selfies of his sweat glistening on him and he knows his fans go wild for those~

But this isn’t about him right now, you should’ve said something sooner MC, he’s glad to help!

Gives you new recipes to taste test together too! New recipes to try with you + new DevilTube videos= a recipe for views (and more time to be selfish with you)

GYM SELFIES

Also prepare to wear matching gym gear too. You guys are going to make progress and in style!

One of his favorite full body workouts hat he loves to do with you is yoga. Not only does it really become a peaceful time for you both to share, but it also gives him the opportunity to show just how flexible he is and how flexible he can make you~

Seriously though, Asmo is here for this! He will always be the first one to praise you for your accomplishments, and even if you feel like it’s small or that you didn’t really accomplish anything, he’ll make sure to prove you wrong

Beelzebub

He caught you doing some workouts in your room, and when he spotted you, it only meant one thing-

WORKOUT BUDDIES

You didn’t even have to ask him for help because he was already 100% on board with it

It’s only a handful of times that you’ve seen Beel be so serious before, so you were shook tbh

But don’t worry, it’s still gonna be tons of fun for you both!

He’s not gonna micromanage you or anything, and he invites you to his workouts all the time. Even if you have to remind him sometimes that you’re a human and you can’t just lift 1000 pound weights like it’s nothing-

The best spotter, no questions asked. If he even thinks that you’re struggling or he sees your arm shake in the slightest, he’s already behind you, holding up the bar and asking if you’re okay

If weights aren’t your thing or if you don’t feel comfortable going to the gym, he doesn’t mind doing at home workouts either! And he’s the best at correcting your form too

Even though he’s known for his insatiable appetite, he’ll still eat healthy with you. He may not know a lot about human food, but he does know what’s good for the body

Of course he still eats full course meals and will just burn it off like nothing, but he can skip out on Madame Screams’ pastries if it means keeping you motivated

You try to tell him that it’s okay for him to eat whatever, but he’s already shaking his head at you, telling you that you guys are in this together, and that’s that

You ended up splitting some sweets with him on your cheat day because you a.) felt bad and b.) wanted to thank you for being the best gym partner ever

He ate majority of it but still

Not to mention the encouragement that he’s always giving you! If it’s an off day or you feel like you didn’t do your best or enough, he’s already there giving you a smile and pulling you back on your feet, saying how much you’ve improved and how far you’ve come, and Beel isn’t the type to just say anything. He really means every word, and it’s more than enough to keep you going

And his high-fives >>>>>>>

The couple that gains together stays together, and he won’t lie; he feels more pumped in his workouts with you by his side

Belphegor

You weren’t coming home for your daily afternoon cuddle session(s), and when you did come home you were drenched in sweat and brushed him off for a shower. It went from occurring just once a week to every other day, and it was making him moodier than usual

When you explained it to him, he was whiny but supportive. Of course he supports your journey to a better lifestyle! He’ll just be supporting you from the comfort of his bed-

You’re definitely dreaming if you think you’re about to get him to join you working out (you should’ve went to Beel if that’s what you’re looking for)

But he’s great at being your cheerleader though! He stays in the room while you’re working out and he’s really cheering you on with his little chants (I mean it’s while he’s lazing around but still are you really surprised?), but you can’t help but still find it endearing and a way to stay positive

If ya’ll seen the new episode you understand what I mean lmao

He’s not one for moving around, but he can help you with what you eat

He’s pretty decent in the kitchen, and he’s got some safe-for-humans healthy snacks that he “borrowed” from Beel and some recipes that he got from Barbatos and Asmo

(Somehow Solomon overheard and volunteered himself to cook and Belphie doesn’t think he ever ran so fast in his life before when he walked away to go grab his “recipe book”)

Makes small remarks about your progress and says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, showing that he does notice the changes you’re making even if you don’t. Really helps you stay motivated!

His words may come off as dry and sarcastic sometimes, but he means well. He may have a bit of a hard time showing that he cares, but he does. And he cares a lot about you, more than he can express

Is also prepared to give you cuddles as both rewards and to make up from before

[radiance1]

Detachment au

So its basically where Sun wukong detaches himself from the world. So he started trying to properly detach himself from the world and his emotions when he was going on the journey to the west, mostly in fear of the pain the circlet brought upon him. But with his time spent raging under the mountain trying to feel anything other than the crippling loneliness, it obviously didn't work out well and his emotions just kept exploding out and in-turn causing more pain upon him via circlet. So after JTTW, he managed to properly cut himself off from the outside world and most of his emotions, leaving at least some room for the monkey's on ffm in his heart(since there’re his subjects and family). So when Mk comes by and becomes his successor, he starts to actually feel something for someone that he didn’t already have in his heart, and at first he just mostly brushes it off and doesn’t acknowledge that he feels anything for this random kid that can wield his staff. So over time he kinda starts to treat Mk like family unintentionally and he tries to come up with multiple reasons as to why he’s doing so, anything except coming to terms with the fact that he cares about Mk, so when comes the time that Mk tries to get wukong to come over and hang out outside of training, wukong initially refuses the offer, saying that he doesn’t want to build that kind of relationship with Mk and mid-sentence, sees Mk being down and before he could catch himself, changes his words and accepts. So when Mk takes him to the noodle shop and introduces wukong to the others, wukong comes off as mostly indifferent and somewhat of a prick to them, leading to them having a minor dislike of him, but they won’t say anything since he makes Mk happy. And wukong watching them interact with each other, reminds him of his family, which makes him feel something he knows all too well, loneliness, and he doesn’t know exactly why he feels like this since he has his monkey family, so he just represses that feeling and pushes it down until it's barely there anymore.

So somewhere along the line wukong comes to terms with the fact that oh shit I actually care about this kid, which would lead to all his repressed feelings and emotions bursting open and causing him to have a full on mental breakdown, since he doesn’t even know how to properly handle all these feelings that he repressed for hundreds of years. So Mk would stumble upon wukong having a mental breakdown and panic, trying his best to call him down and all that. So after that Mk would be full on mother hening wukong(or at least trying to) asking him if he’s ok constantly and trying to get him to actually eat and sleep more instead of just meditating, and I guess he would tell the others and try to get wukong some actual proper therapy and a better coping method than suppressing all emotions and and detaching himself from the outside world. Leading to wukong slowly, but surely, coming out of his shell and interacting with the outside world more, and getting healthier ways of dealing with his emotions.

[honey-milk-depresso]

Oooh I saw requests are opened and first thing I see is Hu Tao and I'm ballistic rn, but can I request Idia with a s/o that acts like paimon

Lol emergency food >:333

HEHEHEHEHE PAIMON IS THE ICON (literally-)

But seriously, iconic.

Just loves food, a supportive person (?), tbh pretty good insult names, VERY honest, bubbly and outgoing!

You can sometimes be very naive, and can come across as rude.

Anyways, for that description, hope you enjoy ^^

TWST Bubbly but Blunt Companion, s/o (Paimon)

Idia Shroud

I like how your personality,

comes with side 

to be in contrast with Idia’s shut in and unsociable personality.

Two completely different people,

but you know what they say,

opposites attract, right?

I like to think you’re very straight forward in criticizing Idia’s way of living.

Like-

“Your room looks like my Uncle’s garage, there’s literally garbage everywhere-”

And he may feel personally attacked-

but he also understands.

Now looking at his room, it kinda is in a mess-

b r u h-

And you’re constant bubbly attitude to encourage him and “constructive” criticism,

helps him to get out of his comfort zone.

In a good way.

He’s got a better and healthier environment,

he knows how to manage his time with Ortho,

he’s even got to know how to MAKE BREAKFAST FOR ONCE.

LIKE

ACTUALLY COOK-

You think he’ll cook while roasting the bacon with his hair?

Technically IS fire, right???-

U M-

Idia is pretty grateful for that as he reflects.

You are really adorable, you know? <3

Ace Trappola

They dynamic

of a rival ship.

Your blunt and straightforward insults,

leads to Ace becoming irritated by you,

much like how you’re irritated by his “ass” attitude.

So much is going on between you two.

But honestly,

no matter how annoyed he is with you,

he’s always beside you,

much like how you remain his companion 

along with Deuce and Grim.

But even when those two aren’t around to cool you both down,

you are both just stuck together like glue,

never leaving the other’s company.

Your constant bickering is something he realized makes his day a little more vibrant,

while you admit the constant troubles he stirs and drag you in, 

makes your day a lot more thrilling

maybe a little traumatic-

but either way,

he can’t let go of your company.

He can’t let go of you.

And when the time comes,

he’ll one day have the guts to admit he likes you more than just his friendly companion. <3

Riddle Rosehearts

Oh god-

You thought Ace was annoyed?

Riddle is 

TRIGGERED

by your blunt self-

B r u h-

You insult him

A LOT-

Intentionally or unintentionally,

it really cuts his ego as a dorm leader, a student, and a person at the best.

And he wouldn’t accept that.

Not until after his overblot events.

That he started to be a little more forgiving,

he sees that you encourage him to keep persisting,

and carry on his hard work to becoming a better dorm leader,

and have a better sense of character.

And you told him constantly,

though more like nagging-

that it’s okay to spoil himself every once in a while.

And to be honest,

he never expected that from you.

He thought you were as salty as Ace rude much-

But, he’s glad.

He’s glad he found someone like you to change him, and support him. <3

Trey Clover (I CAN’T LEAVE HIM OUT-)

You’re very blunt as you can see-

You commented very bluntly,

“Why are you taking orders from a guy (Riddle) like him? Isn’t that really submissive of you?? (sub Trey?? I mean- impossible, but 0-0)

Trey was...

a little taken aback by your comment.

He wasn’t expecting to hear that from you.

But, most of your blunt comments,

made him reflect on himself.

Submissive?

Workaholic??

A... baking maniac????

Well-

let’s exclude the last one-

he reflects and ponders if that’s what other people think of him.

And,

I guess you can say,

you’ve sort of shape his attitude.

He still obeys what Riddle says,

but if he sees that if it’s unsafe,

he won’t hesitate to question Riddle (politely-)

or like his work,

he would admit how he truly feels,

most of it to you.

And you eat so much of his pastries tbh I would too-

And you openly support him and comfort him, like the true companion you are.

Honestly, without you, he wouldn’t have been feeling so much better.

Please stay with him. <3 YES SIR-

[emotionalsupportbloggy]

September is suicide prevention month

I am a survivor. I was probably in middle school the first time I attempted to take my life. Decades later I still wrestle with this affliction. Here are some things I've learned through my journey that I hope can help if you find yourself in this place.

🔶️Tell someone.

There is no Valor in suffering silently. People can't help you if they don't know.

🔶️Recognize your patterns.

I tend to get in a funk around Christmas and my birthday. Know this and prepare for it. Fill your time intentionally with people and things that lift your spirit.

🔶️Surround yourself with a support system

God puts people in your life to help you. You might even be surprised with who God will use. Your friends and family care about you and it's important to reach out to them. Isolation is a breeding ground for ugly thoughts that can lead you further down the spiral.

🔶️Don't trust your mind until it's healed.

Some of these thoughts are not yours. The enemy has had ample time to fill your mind with lies- recognize them and do not believe them. Remember the truth: you matter, you have a purpose, you are loved, and you are needed.

🔶️Take a break

Tune out negative people or things. Take a break from social media. Rest. Spend a day in bed if you need to, but get up the next day. Take a vacation that actually feels like a vacation. Take a mental health day off work. Do something good for you. That can look like resting, cleaning, catching up on laundry, getting a hair cut, visiting a loved one, treating yourself, or whatever relieves the overwhelm.

🔶️Do your best

Sometimes your best is simply getting out of bed. Take it as a win. To the best of your ability, keep doing the things the healthier you would do. Get ready for the day, groom yourself, and do the things you can. If you let yourself fall into a rut, it's easy to stay there. It may not be easy, but try your best to keep up your energy to keep doing the things you need to do. Show yourself love for continuing to show up.

🔶️Do all the things. Your efforts are not futile.

Go to church, read/listen to self help books, listen to encouraging music, tedtalks, sermons. See a doctor, seek counseling, take your medicine, take vitamins, drink water, eat healthier, exercise, go to bed early, get in nature, spend time with loved ones. Go to self-help classes, read the Bible, go to Bible studies, pray, fast, ask others to pray for you, learn about God's love for you.

🔶️Seek out the roots

Do the work to understand why you are the way you are, why you do the things you do, and why you think the things you think. When did this start and what are your triggers. It won't be easy, but the revelation of these things will open up the path to healing. You will begin to understand yourself and find ways to avoid the traps. This is where breakthrough happens.

🔶️Give yourself grace

You are still here. You have made it through the hard things and there may be more to come. But you are a fighter.

You are human. Only you feel your experiences and live in your body and mind. No one else can truly know how hard you work to be here. Take one day at a time. It's ok if you take one step forward and two steps back. Celebrate your victories. Know it is worth it. God doesn't waste anything and trust that He will give you beauty from your ashes.

❤️❤️