#I have the video of the event and everything

[imsobadatnicknames2]

sorry to bother you and please delete this if it's too obnoxious but can you explain what was going on in that last post with the "smol bean hitler" thing I have cognitive issues and definitely want to block at least one of the people involved but I don't really understand what's being said?

Okay I don't blame you for not understanding it because there's a lot of context there. I will do my best to give a rundown of the situation and explain everything to the best of my ability, but my account of the events might be incompelte because I really didn't witness everything.

A little over a week ago, tumblr user siwolism made a post about how she watches a lot of videos about korean fried chicken, and she had noticed a trend in the comments of these videos: a lot of those videos had comments from americans (mainly black americans) bragging about how the only reason why koreans have fried chicken is because african-american soldiers took the recipe to korea during the korean war. She said that as a korean she found these comments uncomfortable because for korean people the korean war was an extremely bloody conflict and korea hasn't still fully recovering from its effects, and americans displaying such pride about any of the things they did during the korean war is an appalling display of american chauvinism. And that the fact that black americans were displaying the same chauvinistic mindset that she would have expected from whtie americans showed that being black or any racial minority in america doesn't exempt anyone from the privileges of american imperialism or the chauvinism of defending it.

At some point I got involved by making a comment on the post, about how I found it silly that people were insulting op and tagging the post as "#tw antiblackness" when all she did was complain that it's downright evil for americans, regardless of race, to joke about the time the USA invaded korea so violently that 1 out of every 10 koreans got killed.

(I still stand by that, considering that the post didn't complain about black ppl in america in general, only about the ones that she saw acting in a specific chauvinistic way, and despite how much people have accused her since of "singling out" black americans as the main beneficiaries or defenders of american imperialism, the post went out of its way to make it clear that this was just a manifestation of a wider problem that applies to all americans regardless of race)

I also made another addition to the post about how i think many of the people making those comments were probably motivated by the way so many african-american inventions in the US have their roots erased once they become popular with non-black people, but that in my opinion they were failing to understand that, despite how superficially similar they may look, "a black american telling a white american that they should be thankful because black people invented jazz and rock" is a fundamentally different situation from "a black american telling a korean that they should be thankful because black people brought fried chicken to them during the war", because the power dynamics between these two countries and the history of the korean war fundamentally changes the situation.

These additions in particular picked up a lot of steam, which somewhat accelerated the post in question breaking containment.

Siwolism was accused of being antiblack for using the term "amerikkka" in her post. Your mileage may vary on that one, but regardless of your opinion I don't think it invalidates any of the things she said in the post.

She was accused of erasing the racism and oppression that black people face in the USA. She repeatedly clarified that she (like any serious anti-imperialist) recognizes that racial minorities in the imperial core face racism and oppression, but that their oppression in that axis doesn't erase the fact that living in the imperial core puts them in a position of privilege over people in the imperial periphery.

She was also accused of erasing anti-black racism in korea (which is a complete non-sequitur tbh, unless you're interpreting her post as "all black people oppress all korean people" and not "black people in america have the capacity to act in imperialistic ways toward people in other countries"). She clarified that she thinks racial discrimination in south korea is a serious issue, that she faces a great deal of it as a north korean immigrant of hui chinese descent, but that she obviously doesn't have it as bad as the discrimination black people face in korea. However, she said the situation of a black person from korea and a black person from america is not the same with relation to imperialism, and when a black soldier is stationed in one of the numerous american military bases in korea they don't face the same struggles as a korean black person because they're acting as part of an imperialist occupying force.

As the post broke containment, she faced increasing levels of harassment. She started getting anons calling her anti-asian slurs, particularly someone who called her an "antiblack gook bitch", "gook" being a slur extensively used by american soldiers to refer to koreans during the korean war.

(that might have been the same person who left me an anon calling me a "fucking antiblack beaner" in response to my additions to silowism's post but who knows)

She also had multiple anons telling her that they hoped she and all her friends got killed by the next american soldier they encountered, which is especially vile considering that american soliders stationed in military bases in south korea have a history of killing and commiting sexual violence against korean women and facing no consequences for it, to the point that the US government coerced the South Korean government into signing a treaty that prevents any US soldiers caught comitting such acts from being tried in a South Korean court.

At some point she psoted the following meme

This is a meme that has been used numerous times on this website to make fun fo the way how a post gets misinterpreted in increasingly ridiculous ways as it gets further away from your mutual circle. I think it's clear that none of the categories on the right are targeted specifically at black people, but instead at the people running with the worst possible interpretation of anything she said in her post (a lot of whom weren't even black americans, I think it's important to acknowledge that a lot of them were white americans who were pissed of that imperialism were being called out and decided to amplify the accusations of racism because it was a progressive-sounding way to shut down discussions of american imperialism). Still, a lot of people ran with the worst faith interpreation of it and started talking about how she "literally said all black people are illiterate chimpanzees"

She also, at some point, after days of continued harrassment, told one of the people harassing her to hang themselves. Again, people ran with the worst possible interpreation of it to talk about how "she's literally sending lynching theats to black people"

Eventually the harassment was so much that she deleted her blog.

Almost two weeks later people keep playing telephone with increasingly outlandish misinterpretations of the things she said, resulting in the tags you saw screenshotted on the post you're referring to, where someone accused her of "implying black people invented imperialism"

so yeah like I'm not going to tell you who to block or even to block anyone at all, but that's my attempt at catching you up to speed on what's going on in that post.

[clexa--warrior]

I don’t know if anyone else has noticed this but everything seems to be going down the tubes quite fast. And not fun tubes, like at a waterpark. The “ending in shit” kind. The issues are complicated, the reasons diverse, but there are a few culprits who have been making themselves extremely visible.

Alongside those holding political office, tech gragillionnaires (I had to invent a new number) like Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg obviously wield huge global influence with their computers and numbers and whatnot. There has been a lot written about them and there will be more, as they continue to shape the world and win favour with Donald Trump. Big, scary, probably ruinous things lie ahead. But I’m here to discuss the smaller part. The insult to injury, the sprinkling of salt in the wound.

Whether I am engaging with the news, or with Musk tweeting constantly like a man with no job or friends, or with Zuckerbergsending out weird videos and appearing on Rogan, I am in pain. Not just because I don’t like what they are doing but because they are so incredibly, painfully cringe.

I knew that one day we might have to watch as capitalism and greed and bigotry led to a world where powerful men, deserving or not, would burn it all down. What I didn’t expect, and don’t think I could have foreseen, is how incredibly cringe it would all be. I have been prepared for evil, for greed, for cruelty, for injustice – but I did not anticipate that the people in power would also be such huge losers.

I’ve always been someone who cannot tolerate embarrassment. I hate being embarrassed more than just about any other emotion and I’ve always skipped content based on cringe humour like Meet the Parents, Borat or Nathan for You. It makes my skin crawl and it makes the contents of my stomach try to crawl out of my mouth. But I cannot skip world events.

Nor can I skip Musk’s clear desperation, even as he holds this much wealth and power in his hands, to be thought of as cool. There are endless examples of him embarrassing himself while attempting to be funny or to gain respect. Unfortunately, while you may be able to buy power, it’s impossible to buy a good personality. Watching his Nigel-no-friends attempts to be popular, his endless pathetic tweets that read as though they come from the brain of an 11-year-old poser, has made me start to believe we should bring back bullying. If yet another humiliating report in the last couple of days is to be believed, he appears even to have lost the respect of some of his gamer audience, who the report claims suspect that he may have been lying about his achievements in hardcore gaming (cursed sentence).

Zuckerberg is a different kind of cringe – but cringe all the same. His cringe moments drip through more sparingly but, when they do, my body tries to turn inside out at my bellybutton. His physical makeover for Maga reasons, performing music because no one will stop him, trying to look cool on a surfboard – all these are extremely difficult to watch. He has been trying to suck up to Trump, going on Joe Rogan’s show to say society has been “neutered” and companies need “more masculine energy”.

Putting on what is clearly a bro disguise to join the boys’ club and sit at the big boy table – it should feel humiliating. This came as Zuckerberg rolled back hate speech and factchecking rules at Meta, in a clear swerve to the right before Trump’s inauguration. What could be more masculine and cool than selling out vulnerable communities and women to impress the alpha male?

Climate crises keep coming, genocides continue, women keep getting murdered, art is being strangled to death by AI, bigotry is on the rise, social progress is being rolled back … AND these men insist on being cringe? It’s a rotten cherry on top. This combination of evil and embarrassment is a unique horror, one that science fiction has failed to prepare us for. The second-hand embarrassment we have to endure gets even more potent when combined with other modern influences on young men, like Jordan Peterson and Andrew Tate.

Peterson is a big voice in men’s rights – well, a small Kermit’s voice in men’s rights – and he’s also an embarrassment. So much so that he has his own Know Your Meme page, which covers that time he reportedly retweeted an image from a fetish film, apparently believing it was a Chinese communist “sperm extraction” facility. He deleted it shortly afterwards.

Tate is facing human trafficking charges but rose to fame as a voice for young men, a misogynist in bad outfits who does really cool things like smoking cigars, wearing sunnies inside and trying to drag human rights back 100 years.

Living your life to impress other men by hating women is one of the most embarrassing things I can imagine. Looking up to any of these men for how to live your life is even sadder.

I’ve worked hard to keep these kinds of men out of my personal life, to keep them away from me, out of my goddamn sight. Now they are in my face daily, not only influencing the world for the worse but making me nauseous at how uncool and pathetic they are, on top of their other sins. It’s too much, I can’t take it, there needs to be a change.

It’s time for us to start getting revenge on the nerds.

[k0mmari]

Endless Abyss(kinda)! SY AU

First things first, this is very much inspired by this post by @/rainbowsmagicandshit and @/allpiesforourown, HIGHLY recommend reading that fist just to get a glimpse of where I started off, but do note I have accidentally deviated from the original idea a bit, so uh, oops ig.

This was born out of a mix of different ideas (as usual), so think of this as ‘The AU where SY is a demon, and also the Endless Abyss, and also my excuse to have Binghe possibly make a harem consisting entirely of SY’s’, or, as I like to call it:

As per usual, Shen Yuan has died. It happens to the best of us, and of course, he died while reading the glittering piece of trash that is Proud Immortal Demon Way.But, as he is in the process of getting snatched away by the System, something goes wrong, and the System has to quickly redirect itself and it causes SY to get knocked out of course.

His soul scrambles to find a new host, and it manages to find someone suitable enough. When SY wakes up though, he isn’t greeted by the sight of a roof, or a forest, or anything remotely familiar; instead, the moment he regains consciousness, he’s senses are flooded with as much information as possible. It’s like a computer with too many tabs open, but in this case, you can see all the tabs at the same time and all of them are playing the most obnoxiously loud videos possible, in fact, everything feels so overwhelming even thinking becomes too much.

What SY doesn’t know is that he has transmigrated into the body of a Titan, an almost extinct godly demon race that only existed in the confines of Airplane’s first drafts, and it turns out shoving a human soul into the body of a deity doesn’t bode so well, since what the human mind is able to process doesn’t even come close to what a Titan is able to feel. So because SY can’t get a hold of his own mind, his control of his own body is also not great, and he is completely unaware as his newly acquired body goes on a rampage.

See, SY is currently in a very old version of the Demon Realm, so old in fact, Heavenly Demons still rule over the Realm. It really is quite a shame that SY wasn’t in his right mind at the time, and instead of being able to observe how ancient Heavenly Demons governed demonic society, he instead accidentally set on a path of destruction, with the casualties being anything that had the bad luck of standing in his way. In fact, the destruction got so bad a few of the Heavenly Demons rulers, who notoriously hated each other, settles on a temporary peace agreement and joined forces to stop the mad Titan.

SY, in his frenzied state, didn’t even notice as hundreds of years went by as the Heavenly Demons tried to stop him, and also barely noticed when they finally managed to chain him down and cast him away to be forever banished to the Endless Abyss. His body, once so tall it grazed the clouds, was torn apart, with each of its different parts sealed away in various locations as an attempt to diminish the Titan’s power. It worked, actually, and unbeknownst to the demons, SY slowly began to get his thoughts in order; the event that finally pushed him to coherency was when a few of those Heavenly Demon rulers got greedy, and while sealing away SY’s body parts, attempted to harness his power for themselves, and tried to create legendary weapons out of his flesh and bone.

Most of them failed, a Titan’s power to overwhelming for even a Heavenly Demon to handle, but one of them succeeded, and created a powerful sword made from the Titan’s own heart: Xin Mo. Unfortunately for the creator of Xin Mo, it didn’t take long for them to fall into madness and eventually succumb to Xin Mo’s power, casting themselves away to hold onto the sword forever in the same valley SY’s hands were sealed; but it is as they say, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, and while Xin MO’s creator perished, they managed to take enough power away from SY for him to finally be able to think.

It had been a thousand years at this point, and SY’s first coherent thought was that he desperately needed a break, and that in all these years, he hadn’t managed to get a single glimpse into the world of PIDW, and what a waste! Specially since he was now in the most interesting area Airplane had managed to create, he was itching to explore the world. Of course, in his current state he wasn’t exactly able to move (having his limbs cut off certainly didn’t help, but apparently it had been so long since he was imprisoned that his Main Body had started to fuse with the Abyss? Really, more of a slight inconvenience than anything), but he also had become tired of his Titan body with it’s Titan feelings, and so he decided to split his consciousness and create a small army of human sized avatars who were later dubbed his ‘Watchers’, who’s sole purpose was to explore the Endless Abyss and send their findings back to the Main Body (in bite sized, easy to understand thoughts).

It is the first years of his Watchers wandering about that SY finally understood what had happened to his body, and figured out that Xin Mo was a product of his flesh. He figured that since demons tried to use his body for malicious purposes before, with one even succeeding, he decided that one Xin Mo was enough, and came up with a plan: He was going to piece his Titan body back together as a means to prevent anything of the sort happening again, but he was immediately going to seal the Titan body away again, as to not have to deal with it’s overwhelming power.

As the Watchers were sent to locate his body parts again, one of their first findings were the hands, which also meant the resting place of Xin Mo itself. How lucky, he thought! He could just take the hands away and maybe leave one of the Watchers guarding Xin Mo so when Luo Binghe eventually comes to retrieve his sword, SY at least can catch a glimpse of his favorite protagonist! He wasted no time, and while his avatars tried to unseal his hands, one of them went to move Xin Mo, just so it was out of the way, and in doing so the sword retaliated and ended up disintegrating the poor Watcher. What a rude sword, going against its own body.

Fine! If Xin Mo was going to be difficult so be it, and SY formed a new plan: before reuniting his Titan body back together, SY send his Watchers to keep an eye on as much of the Endless Abyss as possible and the moment Luo Binghe fell in, he would turn to hugging the protagonist’s thigh and help him survive the harsh environment as long as Binghe took Xin Mo. Well, it should be no problem, right? Binghe was fated to get the sword one way or another, and SY is sure his involvement will be small insignificant enough that it won’t be much more of a side quest for the future Demon Emperor!

Now, if he were a half human, half Heavenly Demon teenager who just got pushed into hell by his teacher, where would he land….

*

So, as you can see, this is mostly more like SY’s origin story lol, but I’ll probably write Binghe’s first meetings with the Watchers sometime soon (hopefully).In the meantime though, enjoy some more of the bonus sketches I did while figuring out the AU, and of course, if anyone has any questions or thoughts about this, feel free to send them to me!

[ms-demeanor]

One of the major things I worry about with a PWM is that if I happen to pass away suddenly, then how will my next of kin be able to access all of the accounts they need to? Even if it's tedious work to write down every single password, won't my next of kin be frustrated with putting in another nonsense string of numbers and letters while they're still in the middle of grieving?

I have many weird and swirling answers to this, none of which are particularly comforting.

The dead don't owe convenience to the living. It would absolutely be frustrating to have to enter a bunch of random characters to change over an account, but it would also be frustrating to have to dig through forty pounds of paper to find which one had the passwords written on it, and it would be WAY WAY WAY worse if the account was hacked and drained because access was overly simplistic. This is actually a huge section of my Death Book because I had to do it for my dad when my mom died. (if anyone is unfamiliar with the death book see my pinned post) However: grieving was going to suck anyway, in the scheme of things complex passwords are going to be a lot less frustrating than dealing with people.

Password management and mortality is a pain in the ass. I have a section in my death book for the predeceased to write down their passwords but there's no recommendation for updating that because the unfortunate thing is that sometimes you'll write down your passwords and they'll have to change and you won't update documentation before you die. It might be better to write down recovery keys or security answers so that survivors can reset account access instead of having to deal with someone else's passwords.

There are shared password management accounts with various admin rights that allow you to have kind of a family organization - of the paid plans that I see out there, this is the best reason I've encountered for using them. You can be an admin and help reset access for your grandmother, or you can be an admin and access your brother's passwords if he dies. HOWEVER, I'm not much of a fan of these things because I don't think the security risk of having other people have access to your passwords is worth it (I'm not even sure about writing them down and putting them in a book). This is less about hacking and more about potential issues of abuse - if your elderly parent has a password manager that you and your sister administer, but your sister decides to empty the bank account, she has access to do so. If you and your partner share a password manager and they have access to your account and suddenly become overwhelmingly jealous of your relationship with a coworker, they have access to everything they need to isolate you and make your life miserable.

Everything you really need access to can use a death certificate in place of a password. Bank accounts, utility accounts, credit cards, mortgage companies, life insurance - the key to unlock all of those in the event of a death is a death certificate. Which is, in fact, a pain in the ass but it's better than the alternative (the alternative being "It's easy to access someone's account by claiming they died.") Furthermore, on many of those kinds of things the deceased shouldn't be the only one with access; my partner and I share bank accounts but we don't share a login to the bank.

Talk to your loved ones about sharing the things that are important to you (deeds, leases, account info, photos, videos, writing, etc.) and get ready to write off the rest. I don't have access to my spouse's email account, I don't want it and I never will, and any accounts tied to that address have other ways of getting access. Whatever he's doing in his email is not my business. If I were to die tomorrow Large Bastard wouldn't be able to post an update on my tumblr; he doesn't have the passwords to my devices, or the password to my password manager, or access to the email account I used to create any of my accounts.

Genuinely "what happens to my accounts when I die" is an important conversation to have with your loved ones, but the answer shouldn't be "they're able to log in to everything because my password was Fullname!Birthyear"

[yuurei20]

Lilia Facts Part 89: Lilia and Peace

Silver says that Lilia has drilled into him that war should always be avoided, and this seems to be a theme with Lilia: his wish for the Wish Upon a Star event is “for humans, fae, and all other species to live in harmony.”

He explains to Trey, “You've learned about our history, have you not? All the countless tales of our failure to compromise, and the resulting conflicts? I have no desire to see such history repeated,” and “I wish for a world where everyone who passes before my eyes can have a peaceful life. Fervently.”

Lilia says that one of the reasons he enjoys video games so much is because people across the world can play with each other, breaking down the barriers that divide them. What a blessedly placid era we live in.” Silver says that, for his part, he will do everything he can to protect that peace, and Lilia declares that step one will be gaming with him all night long.

(Lilia: “For peace, of course.” Silver: “P-Please Father, anything but that.”)

Silver describes Lilia as “a broad-minded soul who recognizes hard work regardless of species. It doesn't matter if someone's a ghost, a fae, or a human,” and Lilia lectures Sebek for being narrow minded: “You have a golden opportunity here to speak with other young people who have different viewpoints. Don't squander it…Do not stay trapped in your own small world. Is that clear?”

Lilia says, “it's better to spread joy than hate.”

[nariter]

To top this off, you aren’t going to go far if you spread yourself so thin it takes years to recover.

I tried my best to be up to date and doing what I could to help during the rise of everything 2020. And because I didn’t take time to handle things in batches, and instead constantly bombarded myself with the news and reports and all of the videos that were recorded about different events and video compilations of things that happened at different events, I am now in a state where I can’t handle any news for a long period of time before I literally want to kill myself.

And since I’m not in a position to get therapy (therapy is a privileged thing I don’t have the privilege of having) I can’t get help to repair what I unintentionally obliterated.

Being uptodate on the bad news constantly, destroyed my mental health. Even if I thought I was doing something for the greater good.

I now need to protect myself from too many heavy things. Cause I don’t want to make a choice that level headed me will regret, cause a heavy thing tipped me.

—

So please, make sure to take care of yourself from all walks of life. Make sure to protect yourself and your mind. Cause a battle plan to make the world a better place means nothing if you don’t have the mental capacity to even look at it without wanting to end it all.

No matter what a post on tumblr tries to tell you, your moral and ethical stances will never be determined by what you reblog and what you scroll past. Don’t let manipulation tactics force you into doing anything you don’t want to do.

[secret-moonstruck]

NO MORE KISS | K. SN

— Pairing: sunoo x fem!reader | (Masterlist)

— Synopsis: Sunoo should participate in the kissing booth. But something better happened. Thanks to your idiot friends and a lost bag.

— Words: 2.400

— Genre: smut

— Warnings: unprotected sex, fingering, oral sex, praising, cum inside, making out, clit play, begging, hickeys, cum eating, overstimulation.

There was chaos at the university, all because Heeseung and NiKi announced that at the fundraising event they would make a kissing booth, the participants would be announced the next day, along with the start of the sale of tokens for each of them, but the two were already confirmed.

The girls were crazy and already bought the tokens before they were ready, so they just wrote down the names to give them the next day.

Y/N was trying to get out of the mess and go to her secret corner, she hated places with a lot of people, especially hysterical girls.

She passed quickly and was pushed, bumping into Heeseung and NiKi.

NiKi held her so her hand fell, smiling at the girl because he thought she was cute when she cursed.

- Hysterical idiots, all because of some boys. - Y/N grumbled, rolling her eyes, before seeing that the one who helped was NiKi, the reason for the commotion.

- Oh, thank you. - She thanked him while giving a fake smile, when she noticed that he complained about him to himself, then left there, going to her corner. 

The next day, Y/N arrived angry seeing that the commotion was bigger than the previous day.

When she went through the chaos, Niki held her by the arm.

- Girl 19? - He said, handing her a token.

- What? No, I didn't buy a token. - Y/N shook her hands quickly, denying it, as she walked away.

Niki knew she hadn't bought it, but wanted to give her a token. When she walked away he pouted, disappointed that she didn't accept it.

Sighing with relief as she got away from the commotion, she sat down on a bench to breathe and drink water, dropped her bags on the ground, and saw Sunoo a little further on on the other side of a tree, she had been in love with him for months, but he even know about her existence, as she was always avoiding being around people.

- Look Jungwon, all my tokens were sold. - He said excitedly. He didn't want to participate, but since it was to raise money for donations, he was happy to help.

Y/N was very upset hearing this, she didn't imagine he would participate, she was sad, and jealous. But she knew it was useless to feel that way. Disappointed, she wanted to get out of there immediately, grabbed her bag and left.

When she left in a hurry, Y/n didn't notice that she forgot one of her bags, she was carrying two, one with her materials and the other with things she liked to spend time with like books, camera, her notebook where she made drawings and wrote down different random ideas, like a diary, with phrases, thoughts, ideas of things I would like to do, everything. She was very creative and liked a multitude of things and wrote everything down there.

Sunoo saw when she left forgetting her bag, he tried to call her but she didn't hear him.

At home, curiosity got the best of him, and he started looking at the contents of the bag to see if there was a name or phone number. He was impressed with her ideas and art, he smiled when he saw the photos and videos on the camera, she obviously recorded videos for the internet but didn't have the courage to post them.

Unable to stop smiling watching the content of the camera several times, being enchanted by how cute, fun and sometimes daring she looked.

A few days passed, he didn't know how to return her things, he wanted to talk to her but he didn't know how, so he just watched her from afar and irritated his friends by talking about her.

- You should return her things soon, she seems upset. - Jungwon scolded him, but was ignored.

The day of the event arrived, but his friends, already fed up with hearing him talk about her, made a plan to bring the two together. 

- She spends a lot of time in the old office, why doesn't leave her bag there? She's not there yet.

That's what he did, he went to the office and was going to leave her bag there, but to his surprise she was there, lying on a large sofa in the corner of the room reading while wearing headphones.

Y/N noticed his presence and sat down, removing her headphones.

- I found your bag and came to return it. - He dropped his bag and tried to rush out but the room was locked.

Nervously, he tried to send a message to Heeseung asking him to come help.

- Thanks. - He heard the girl's voice and turned around, she was smiling at him happily holding onto her bag.

- I… yeah… the door locked. - That's all he could say.

- Oh, how strange. - She passed him and tried to open the door.

At that moment he received Heeseung's response.

“We will cover you at the event. We'll  let you two out you in the morning.

Don’t worry, we leave everything you might need in the closet”

- Sons of bitches. - Sunoo cursed, scaring Y/N. - Sorry, my friends thought it would be funny to play a joke. Sorry to get you involved in this. They didn't let us out until the morning

- But why? They don't even know me, why are they bothering me? - Y/N had a problem, she didn't have much patience. - Your friends are idiots.

Sunoo just nodded and went to look in the closet. There were some snacks, water, a blanket and…condoms along with a note. 

“I hope you like the gift, confess that you like her and enjoy the night.”

He quickly closed the door but Y/N was already beside him and had already seen the contents. They both blushed 

The silence in the room was torturous, but Sunoo decided to pretend that they hadn't seen that and started asking about the things in the bag.

They talked about different things until it started to get dark.

Sunoo was cold and noticed Y/N curled up in the corner of the sofa shivering so he looked for the blanket to cover her. When he handed her the blanket, she felt how cold his hands were, so she told them to share.

He sat next to her and covered them both, the blanket was small so they had to sit very close together which made them both nervous. But pretending to be fine Sunoo continued chatting randomly. Until in a moment of silence Y/N called him, almost a whisper, while looking into the distance.

- Its truth? - She asked, without looking at him.

- What? - Sunoo didn't know what she was asking.

- The note. “Confess that you like her.” - Y/N blushed, avoiding mentioning the rest of the note.

- Oh, that... - He thought about denying it but he didn't know how to lie. - Yes.

They were silent again while Y/N thought, she was sure he didn't know her. Noticing her confusion he pushed himself to have confidence and told the truth.

- To be honest, I found your bag a few days ago, they played this stupid joke probably because they were tired of me. It's stupid and weird, but since I saw the things in your bag I haven't been able to stop watching you around the university, they even called me a stalker. - He stopped for a moment then continued. - Thinking about it, I really looked like a stalker, following you around, watching you, I'm sorry.

Y/N didn't say anything, she was trying to decide if she believed him, it could be a joke, maybe they knew she liked him and decided to play with her.

But seeing how embarrassed and nervous he was, she decided to trust him.

- Me too. - She doesn't know how, but she said confidently, looking into his eyes.

Sunoo smiled upon hearing this, they were very close, he was just thinking about how he wanted to kiss her, and touched her face and slowly approached her, waiting for her to move away but she didn't, instead she moved closer too, so he kissed her.

The kiss was calm and sweet, conveying what they felt, y/n felt warm and loved. Sunoo felt how she had wanted him for so long and finally had him.

After the kiss, they stayed there, Sunoo caressing her hands under the blanket, while they talked.

It was getting later and later and they decided to try to sleep, so they lay down on the couch, which luckily was very big and comfortable, curled up in the blanket Sunoo hugged Y/N, who was now cuddled up to him.

After a while y/n went to check if Sunoo was sleeping but when she lifted her face he was looking at her, he smiled and kissed her again.

At first it was a calm kiss, very sweet. But little by little it became more intense and hot. Sunoo's hands traveling over Y/N's body while hers pulled him closer, as if trying to merge their bodies.

Sunoo turned on her, now on top of y/n. He broke the kiss, but never pulled away, he spread kisses from his lips to her neck. He didn't expect that a simple kiss would turn into a make-out session, nor that it would go beyond that.

- Sunoo. - His name came out in the form of a moan, from Y/N's lips.

He was already aroused, but hearing her moan his name gave him goosebumps, his cock getting harder and harder as he heard her moan as he left marks down her neck and collarbone.

Y/N feeling Sunoo's excitement against her couldn't think of anything, she wanted more, she loved him in silence for so long, and now he was there wanting her.

- Do you want to continue? - He asked Y/N fearfully, who just pulled him into another kiss in response.

Sunoo broke the kiss and helped her take off her clothes, Y/N did the same helping him remove his clothes too, she took off his shirt, her fingers running down his chest and abdomen until they reached the waistband of his pants, after finishing helping him with his clothes, she swallowed hard, her breathing heavy looking at Sunoo's hard and now free cock, she needed him. 

Sunoo kissed her again while pushing her to lie down again, kissing her all over her body, reaching her thighs, distributing kisses on her thighs, leaving marks before focusing on y/n's already dripping pussy. He ran his fingers spreading y/n's juices, causing her to shiver, moans escaping her lips, when he began to lick her, paying special attention to her clitoris, she was a moaning mess, sunoo's name coming out frantically from her mouth. Hold her thighs tightly while devouring her pussy ferociously. She pulled one of the pillows to her face trying to contain her moans when he put two fingers in her wet hole, his lips and fingers together causing chaos in y/n's mind and body, he moaned into her pussy as she trembled convulsing. He knew she was about to reach her orgasm when he felt her clench around his fingers. 

- That's it, baby, cum for me. - He said and that's what he got.

- Sunoo, please. - That was all he could hear between y/n's moans when she came, he moaned more and more as he enjoyed y/n's juices, his dick throbbed, wanting to be inside her.

He got up smiling, then kissed her again, without breaking the kiss he rubbed his dick on y/n's pussy then began to penetrate her slowly. The room was filled with moans as he moved inside her, slowly at first but deeper and deeper, he seemed to be torturing her, his cock hitting deep inside her, little by little he started to go faster, but maintaining strength, obscene sounds echoing through the room. Sunoo couldn't take much longer, he knew he was about to cum, he moved his hands down to y/n's clitoris, massaging it while wet sounds and moans spread throughout the room as he fucked her. When he felt her tightening more and more around his cock, he grabbed her by the waist pulling her against him, making her sit on his lap, he lay down with her on top of him, the girl was convulsing as she rode him, he helping by firmly holding her waist making her go faster, he gave strong thrusts making her arch her back almost falling back when she reached her second orgasm, he came soon after with his sperm filling her completely. She lost all her strength and collapsed on top of him, he laid her on the sofa, leaving her with their now mixed liquids flowing out of her. He moved back down to her now full pussy, his tongue cleaning her completely, she had no strength left, she was too sensitive, his tongue torturing her, until she came again, for the third time that night, the overstimulation making her crying. After cleaning her completely, he lay down next to her and hugged her, cradling her against his body, then kissed her, she gave a small smile before falling asleep, exhausted.

-

The next day, the boys kept their word and freed them, despite the joke about condoms (totally ignored and forgotten) they didn't think anything would really happen. But when they entered the room, they were shocked to see the two sleeping in each other's arms naked, the blanket partially covering them while Sunoo hugged her protectively.

- What shit. They really took it seriously. - Heeseung spoke loudly waking them up.

- Damn it, get out of here. - Sunoo shouted at them, pulling Y/n closer to him trying to hide her from them.

- Oh shit, it was her, I can't believe I gave her to Sunoo without knowing. - NiKi said jokingly, recognizing her from the day he tried to give her the token.

The boys left the room, leaving them alone and embarrassed for being caught in this situation.

They remained there hugging each other for a while.

- I'm glad you didn't participate in the event. - She said smiling at him

- Me too, because there's only one girl I want to kiss. - He replied before kissing her for the thousandth time in the few hours they were there.

— Notes: I'm new to this writing thing, and English is not my first language. Sorry for not writing so well, I wish to improve and bring better and well-written stories.

[enkays-den]

Enkay watches the Imp and Skizz Podcast #128 (feat..... Imp and Skizz?????)

This week the boys took questions from the community and answered them! It's been a long time coming, since the last time they did this was over two years ago!

NOTE: none of these are direct quotes unless they are in quotation marks! I paraphrased a LOT to make this post decently short! This podcast is an hour forty minutes long, you GOTTA watch the full thing! x

"thanks for having me. big fan." i love skizz

Skizzleman name origin! He wanted to make a username for a poker website and the original slant on his last name was taken; a rap stereotype at the time was to slap 'izzle' on the end of it, Skizzleman was born

Impulse name origin! Impulse played marching snare for a drum corp called Impulse! His initials are SV so he smacked that on the end.

Question #1 from Marihl1354: What advice would you give to the other 10 years in the past?

Impulse: Join me. If you have the time, make it because you WILL be successful.

Skizz: Care less about what others think, because you can fly so far if you stop trying to please everyone and follow your instincts.

Question #2 from Hunter-7115: Who's the Better Host?

Both! It wouldn't be the podcast you know and love if it wasn't both of us!

"I complete you" SHUT UPPPPP

Question #3 from nicholashalom1632: Biggest moment that put your friendship to the test?

This story from the first Q&A We were both being you and stupid and drunk and thankfully we've never been that bad since.

Question #4 from IdiotSandwich2087: How exactly would you define your worst day in content creation?

Impulse: Any time where I have my day planned and I'm excited for it, and then something gets in the way and messes up my plan. It's mainly just frustrating and it's something I specifically have issues about.

Skizz: My first Twitch Rivals event, my internet cut out several times, and it was frustrating and demoralizing, but I didn't lose my cool.

Question #5 from iceybruhyt2178: What did you think initially when Grian originally pitched Third Life?

Skizz: I knew it would be a hit. I didn't know the longevity, but I knew it was going to be a success because it had the potential to have story elements that the audience would enjoy. I'm honored that I was picked since my channel was so small at the time.

Impulse: I knew it would work, but I didn't know how well us together would make this perfect ensemble. And it's still an amazing group that gels so well together on and off screen after almost 4 years. Each person wants everyone to have a good time and make great videos.

Question #6 from opalwhisker: What do you do with all the gifts you receive? What's the weirdest/funniest gift you've been given? What's your favorite stuff?

Impulse: Pretty much everything is special, because they all have heart and meaning to the person that gave it to me, and it makes me very grateful for my fans and for what I do.

Skizz: The drawings really impress me because it's such a show of skill and talent and everything is so touching because it's personal.

Question #7 from AgnesBooth-zu7tw: What would you do for content creation if you can't do Hermitcraft?

Skizz: Streaming. I like doing variety game streaming as well as Hermitcraft, the cooking stream with my wife was a lot of fun. Also voice acting (enkay personal note: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE)

Impulse: Anything that shows off my authentic self. I also really enjoy the video production end of things because it makes a great product and it plays to my strengths, I want to persue that more.

Also the Podcast!

Questions #8 and #9 from TrueCDC

Question #8: What video are you most proud of?

Impulse: The Storm the Castle video! I worked so hard on it, I learned a ton of new things, and it was really fulfilling for me to build something that was an experience everyone enjoyed.

Skizz: The Guess the Build series! I pitched the original idea based off of Telestrations and Grian took my idea and really polished it in terms of rules and getting the server mechanics organized so it's sleek. They're so much fun to make, everyone has a great time, the videos are amazing. I love the laughs we get out of it.

WHY WAS THAT BLEEP SO LONG

Question #9: What would you do differently about the podcast if you started again tomorrow?

The name. It doesn't telegraph a lot of information if you don't know who we are, and it doesn't really say anything about what sort of stuff we make.

The thing we DON'T regret is making our podcast NOT centered around a particular topic. It keeps things interesting for us and that's the most important element to keep the podcast going for as long as we want.

Questions #10 and #11 from Ranger12_

Question #10: What have you learned from each other?

Skizz: The importance of planning when it's needed. I tend to be more loose and free but it has it downfalls. I can still plan but have the freedom I need.

Impulse: A bit of parenting advice from Skizz. "If your kid is asking you to spend time with them to make a memory, You Take It."

Question #11: How did marching band change you?

Impulse: It kind of helped expose us to the multitasking that we would see later in adulthood, between school, having to have a job, and practicing. It taught me a lot of discipline and I got to experience the rush of REALLY hard work actually paying off.

Skizz: It really had a LOT of gravity and importance because of how intense and highly respected DCI is. It's a lot of pressure and we all had to pitch in to execute routines PERFECTLY.

Question #12 from LoSDockForBoats: Skizz, when you realize there was never a time limit on living your life to its fullest?

Skizz: A combination of my MS diagnosis in my mid-20s and any time when someone close to me passes away is always a wake-up call.

Question #13 from catfan0_0: Who are your favorite non-Minecraft content creators?

Skizz: For drumming, Estepario simply because he's the best, Brad Owen makes really good poker content and his videos are interesting, insightful, and funny! Sam The Cooking Guy is an amazing chef and host, and the post production is great, and the recipes he makes are AMAZING! (special shoutout to theOdd1sOut and Mark Rober)

Impulse: Harris Heller, he's a tech guy that I get most of my gear recommendations from, and I enjoy his videos.

Questions #14 and #15 from @skizzpulsee (AHHHHHHHH)

Question #14: What's your Roman Empire? (they didn't understand what that meant)

Impulse: Expanding my content to a wider scope.

Skizz: I don't think I have one (Enkay grabs the mic: IT'S SITCOMS)

Question #15 for Skizz: What's the best prank of all time?

Skizz: It was ages ago when I was working at Costco. There was a woman named K would nick little paper/cardboard signs that no one would miss from fast food places and stuff to decorate her room. We went to a Subway for lunch break and she said she wanted a sign that had LED lights in it. I grabbed it as we left and head back to work. She took it and later on I see there's a couple cop cars in the mall plaza and he told his boss to say that the cops were there for K because of the sign. He SOLD it and K is freaking out. I come back and pretend the cops talked to me. I grab the sign again and go outside to "talk to the cops". I put the sign in her car (I stole the keys from her locker) and return and pretend I got a stern talking to from the cops and they have my photo and information.

She got SO anxious about it that my boss felt bad and let her take the day off. She sees the sign in her car and flinches (I have snuck into the parking lot and have followed her). I yell at her to not get too mad, she yells at me good-naturedly, and she takes a well deserved afternoon off. (Kids, don't steal things)

Question #16 from Kiwimarauder: Which guest inspired you?

Impulse: Claire. She motivated me to pull the trigger on lifestyle changes that I'd been wanting to make for a few years now and it's recently been a big impact on me (but also I can't choose, they're all inspirational)

Skizz: My two main ones are Mumbo and Bdubs. Mumbo was such a big inspiration in terms of creativity and not questioning if my ideas are "good enough" and Bdubs because he helped me embrace "I'm happy and healthy and my important people are too, and sometimes that's all the ambition I need"

Question #17 from mariashaw980: Do you ever join the Hermitcraft server to find yourselves enamored by the utter creativity, complexity, and strength of your peers?

Impulse: Yeah, I was a big hermitcraft fan from season 2, and I was watching Etho from before I made a youtube channel. To be in the same space with these people hit me every time I'm with them. They're all inspiring and amazing and it's humbling.

Skizz: ditto to the above, I'm constantly amazed with literally everything

Question #18 from ronaldfelix1850: What other hobbies do you guys have besides gaming?

Skizz: Poker, but it's not a BIG hobby because poker is the fun thing and not gambling. I learned it from my older brothers and I loved the psychological angle of it.

Impulse: Computers and tech stuff, also renovating (probably because of my interior decorator wife). I love working on house projects.

Question #19 from Savannah_831: What's your favorite moment you've had together playing minecraft?

There's so many, but a recent highlight is our prank on Joel early in the season. It was a collaborative moment for us and it's so much fun to get one over on Joel because he has such great reactions and it was a matter of pride

Question #20 from TzainDoesMusic: Who's the one person you want to meet, dead or alive?

Impulse: Matthew McConaughey or Matthew Perry

Skizz: Matthew Perry is also high up there, but also Jesus would be cool. I would ask QUESTIONS. "I bet I could make him laugh"

Questions #21 and #22 from Alchamyx:

Question #21: To Skizz: How in the world do you stay so positive?

Skizz: It's more that I don't show too much real negativity on stream or in videos. It's not really what I want to give as a content creator for you guys, and everyone has bad days, nothing to be ashamed of.

Question #22: To Impulse: How do you see your creative projects come to life?

Impulse: Honestly they're usually spur-of-the-moment ideas, usually inspired by stuff that I surround myself with at the time. My candy factory was inspired by my daughter getting REALLY into all the Willy Wonka stuff. The cyberpunk city and all the lore wasn't inspired by ANYTHING topical. It just came to me, and I knew myself and Bdubs would have fun with the building style.

Questions #23 and #24 from angiesteuck:

Question #23: Skizz, how do you like playing on Hermitcraft?

Skizz: I LOVE it. It's fun being a guy that helps facilitate funny moments. It makes me want to be a better builder and do more for the Hermits, like Tango does with his amazing games

Question #24: Do you ever get recognized when you are out and about?

Impulse: Very rarely. We were once recognized together in the middle of nowhere and it was a really sweet family. But my last vacation I was on a cruise and I was recognized several times! If you see either of us, absolutely say hi when it's an appropriate time!

Skizz: I had a dinner where my waiter recognized me and he was very polite about it, it was such a nice moment.

BONUS PRIMMERS!!!!!

[epwritten]

T a s t e ~ l.f

"Just look at me baby, day and night"

Description: You want what you're afraid of getting. You both play this game of want and desires, temptations, and limitations, secrecy, and need.

Word count: 8K. Hehehe. 😬

Author's note: I got into Stray Kids late summer last year, so there's a lot of performances I'm still getting into. But a week ago I saw Taste for the first time and...wow. When I first watched the Taste performance, everything was running through my mind at once. It was the perfect showcasing of temptation, where me -a usually by-the-rules person - had thoughts that were uncontrollable. I've never seen anything quite like that before, where in the moment I was so captivated. This concept came immediately after watching the video late hours into the night.

Additional notes: AU kind of...even though they're Danceracha, they're not members of Stray Kids. They're three college friends trying to make it by, making music.

Another note! This can be a little toxic, but the whole gist of this one shot is to showcase what temptations between people really look like, especially if you have one who grew up under strict conditions and now goes through inner conflict of whether or not they should throw away their restrictions for a chance. I don't want there to be anything that upsets anyone as they read this. It wasn't my intention honestly!

AND MOST IMPORTANT!

There's no smut in this. I'm not comfortable writing it. I know this one shot more ofc focuses on temptation and what that feels like, but I'm just not comfortable so please don't expect it and then get mad when you've reached the ending and there's nothing aha <3

Okay that's it! Happy reading! Hope you will enjoy <3

To lay it out in simple terms, you were drowning.

No, not literally. But it felt so much like it.The place had a way of heightening all of your five senses in one setting. You always found yourself playing the senses game with your dad when you were young. He may have forgotten about it, but you carried the habit with you, even if it was subconsciously. You always observed the five senses in a place and how that made you feel. Sometimes it was for safety measures, identifying what in an unknown room could be your shelter. Other times it was a reflection of happiness, if you were at the beach or somewhere that you could not count all your senses aligning in the best way.

But sometimes, on a night like tonight for instance, it was out of nerves.

Smell: The scent of expensive perfumes from those in the room lingering in the air.

Hear: The noises of conversations in and out of your ear through everybody else who was in the room.

Touch: Your pulse, right under your neck, a signal of nervousness when things got too overwhelming.

See: The lights dimmed in perfect blue, everything dark and rich in color that you may as well have been drowning with the wave of shade plastered and flashing shadows where the lights loomed.

Everything about this atmosphere was tempting, inviting, alluring. You could feel the vibration of the bass, on the floor right where your foot was planted, but also buzzing in your chest. You knew needed to breathe. But nothing was working with your senses anymore, almost as if they were too far gone, lost in this place of entrapment.

Why did you decide to come?

You were definitely out of place, you considered, as you craned your neck trying to look for something and nothing at the same time. People were chatting and laughing and you wondered if being social was a game of pretend that everyone aced at, or an actual skill. Nobody even looked bored before an event would start. It amazed you so. You on the other hand, always hated to be so early to places where you had no other choice but to socialize before the main events arrived. Yet for this specific night, you didn't dare arrive late. You didn't want to admit it out loud, but you didn't want to miss...him.

Great. Your mind was doing it again. Thinking about what you vowed not to think of. But there it was, a delicate subject you didn't want to tempt with thought and imagery, but it pulling you in.

Him, with his dark eyes, a stare that captivated you, and seemed to control all of you- your mind, your body, your soul. He was dangerous to what you thought held your convictions for so long, the definition of what you couldn't cross and somehow you did. Though not really. But still. The whole thing was rather...complicated.

Because it started with you, that night, three months ago. You didn't even know why you were there. Life was tough and you needed somewhere to escape to. Your friends always suggested a high scene that could make your feelings go numb for the evening, how the dopamine release would maybe even be good for you. You never considered it those days of your youth, but a few months back, you found yourself at a high scene of a nightclub under blaring lights.

~ 3 months ago ~

Even though you were in your early 20s, it was your first time, so of course you felt out of place. Did people actually enjoy this?

That night was a night of many firsts. A stranger sauntered over to you and asked to buy you a drink. You didn't realize that what happened in the movies you saw could actually take place in real life. People were making out in the back corner- full on, not caring if anyone else was looking, and not getting a room anytime soon. The music was loud. There were so many people, so many stories. But, you all were strangers to each other, and that was the pep talk you told yourself.

You were a stranger. Whether you were actually shy and timid or confident and sexy, no one would know the difference. It was one night in this nightclub. You could be anyone you wanted to.

You could also meet anyone you wanted. And that's what you did.

He was on the top floor when you first saw him, manspread on the purple lounge couch. There were two other guys with him, one with brown hair and the other with blue hair but you barely noticed. Even when they stopped talking to each other and eyed you as you got to the top of the staircase, searching for a place to sit, your eyes only zeroed in on one.

See: Jet black hair, dark eyes, pale skin, wearing all black. He was the most beautiful person you could ever see. His features were pretty, but his stance was dominant and you couldn't help but let your mind run with thoughts that normally didn't cloud your vision. But this night was meant to be different anyway, at least, that's what you were trying to tell yourself.

You swallowed before you spoke out. "Am I allowed to sit here?" You asked, because for some strange reason no one else was up in the balcony seats, just those three men.

The man in the middle of the couch smiled before he shifted in his seat, moving to the other side of the couch.

"Of course you are. Come sit."

Hear: His voice was lower than expected, a velvety tone with a certain accent, though he didn't say enough words for you to realize which one it was. Your heart churned deep in your chest as you slowly walked towards them. You sat down right where the middle man patted and immediately you were hit with the scent of his cologne.

Smell: A hint of springtime but spice of power.

When you sat by him, the two other guys that were there wandered off, leaving you and the middle man alone. They made no excuses and walked out like it was no big deal. You didn't want to disturb any of them, but they were out of your hair by the time you sat.

You couldn't help but sneak a glance at who was sitting right by you on the couch. The music was blaring, lights were dimmed but luminescent enough so you could see the sparkles around his eyeliner and the color tint on his lips. He looked incredibly unreal, just sitting there.

And then he looked at you.

It was strange. You would be the person who would look away instantly, blush constantly and find something to fidget with, causing so much of a distraction to reduce the heat on your cheeks and color on your face. But right there in that moment, you didn't look away, you stared right back.

You didn't know anything about him, but you remembered how when you first walked into the club you said to yourself that you wanted a change. That you could be whoever you wanted, and no one would know anything different. He wouldn't know anything of your shy nature, the innocent image that so many mocked you about, he wouldn't know.

"Can I get you a drink?" The man asked finally, his pupils looking so intensely at your soul you thought he was genuinely lost in them. He was attentive, that was noted.

You shook your head. You've never drank before. Even though tonight would be the night of promises to live young and not overthink everything, you were still nervous for the substances.

"I'm good. Thank you though." You answered.

He nodded understandably as he sat up straighter. "Ah, that's okay." He said.

"I've never seen you here before. Are you new to the city?" He continued.

It was when he said that your heart started beating a bit more. Australian, that's what it was. He was definitely Australian.

He angled his body on the couch so he could face you properly. Though you were shy among his gaze, and had trouble fully looking at him.

"I've been here, I just..." You paused. You didn't want to seem like such a fool if you were to say that you've never been in a nightclub before. The man looked around your age and it would be somewhat embarrassing.

So you lifted your eyes and looked at him.

"I just never got to actually talk to you before." You said.

The man blinked before he leaned forward, a hand brought his chin as he gazed at you. "You've seen me here, but you never talked to me?"

You swallowed but wanting to keep going with the act. You told yourself in your mind not to care. So what if you flirted a little bit? Anything that would comment for this man would be truthful anyway.

So you scanned him with your eyes, taking everything in before you spoke out.

"Well...you're the sexiest person I've ever laid eyes on, so it'd be difficult..." Your voice trailed off.

Oh goodness. Did you really just say that out loud?

The man raised an eyebrow, but his smirk said otherwise. "Sexy, yeah? That's what you think of me as?"

When he repeated your words back, it made you suddenly shy, looking away. How did people at clubs do this? Were they always that forward?

He looked like he was okay with it, but you couldn't keep this front and confident act much longer. But you wanted to. You so wanted to just forget about your worries and let the night take its course.

"Hey," He chuckled warmly. "Don't go shy on me now." He said, eyes never leaving your face.

So you didn't. You took a deep breath and looked back at him. "Yes, that's what I think of you. You're sexy."

Being forward left a weird taste in your mouth, but the way he looked at you said so much at the same time. It fed you, fed your emotions. Because you could see that your words were the ones to cause him to smile, despite the shyness wanting to creep up on you.

"Thank you." His voice was a low decibel of temptation. He let his eyes travel down past your eyes for a split second before centering back on your face again.

You blinked and took a shallow breath, trying to ease the thundering beat in your chest.

The man then smiled genuinely and you swore you never saw anything more unreal. He looked kissable. You wondered what kissing him would feel like.

Where did that thought come from?

"You're a little shy, aren't you?" He guessed, reading your like a book.

Touch: You crossed one leg over the other, accidentally brushing his leg with yours and you quickly drew it back. You were failing your confidence but the way he looked at you...there was really no chance.

He chuckled when you didn't respond. "Don't be, get comfortable. What's your name?" He asked.

You said it and he repeated your name to himself before he nodded. "It compliments you. You're just as beautiful if not more."

And there came the butterflies once more.

You turned to him, trying to come back to look into his brown eyes. "What's your name?" You threw the question back to him.

"Felix." He answered, giving you his hand to shake.

It wasn't the most unexpected name for this midnight prince of a man. If anything, it was pretty attractive.

Around you both the music still blared and you started to feel your mind drifting back to the scene around you with your senses. But you wanted to be present and looked back at Felix with a question in mind.

"So...why are you here tonight?" You asked, trying to attempt conversation.

Felix looked up at the ceiling and then around. "Honestly...I'm performing on that stage in a minute." He said, looking behind him.

You did a double take when you saw the stage. "On...the pole?"

Felix shook his head and laughed. "No, no. A couple of friends and I we dance and make music, and then we perform at clubs."

Your face flushed. "Oh."

That was it. You were done. Embarrassed. You would try to take a cab and leave and never return. Possibly leave the country. Never be seen again. Burried in a hole. Whatever worked.

You didn't realize you were actually spacing out and planning a disappearing act until you felt a strong but soft touch on your arm. You averted your gaze and saw Felix shooting a soft smile.

"Why are you here tonight?" He asked.

It was very much of a good question. You wanted to know yourself. Life was being a lot. You needed a change of scene. You wanted to check out the club. You wanted to not let your worries cloud your mind. You were a rigid person and you imagined what it would be like to, for one moment, live more freely.

But you weren't about to go into the details of it all. You still were assigned one task, and that was let go.

"Because...I want to see you perform." You answered softly.

Felix blinked in surprise before he smirked, his hand patting your leg.

"Good girl." He muttered.

Hear: The words "good girl", over and over in your head from now until morning. You didn't know what to do with yourself.

Felix suddenly stood up and you looked at him, your heart beat picking up in haste."Wait, where are you going?" You asked, confused.

Felix glanced at the stage and then back at you, his eyes daring. "Going to be the reason why you came here tonight, of course. You should watch the stage." He winked and then walked away, going down the stairs, not looking back once.

He was so mysteriously sexy, so captivating, that you didn't know if your mind was held straight. You were thinking a million thoughts, imagining instances that past you would never do. On and on were piles of debating in your head between the two. The familiar innocence you vowed to protect, or the risking image that didn't care who you were, allowing you to dive deep into someone else. Maybe someone you were all along.

You couldn't think much because soon the music died down and you walked to the rail of the balcony, looking down. You technically could've gone down, but there were so many people. You liked having the space to yourself. It made you observe.

And when Felix and his two friends were finally on stage and danced, you were absolutely stunned. The other two were passionate, of course. The one with the blue hair was like blazing fire and then other with brown hair like sharp ice. Yet Felix had a power to him, an aura that was unshaken. He moved effectively and gracefully at the same time.

Their small set ended, only a couple of songs before the three went back upstairs and joined you as the stage was getting ready for exotic dancers. You stood up, wanting to pull Felix aside. When Felix saw you, he smiled, sauntering over to you.

"What did you think?" He asked in a low tone, reaching you.

You looked at him, truly. Beads of sweat formed on his forehead and his hair was slightly messier from the dancing. He was breathing hard, staring at you. It made you feel vulnerable of the true thoughts in your mind. You wondered just this once, how he would react if you were direct.

"I think you're a dangerous temptation." You finally answered bluntly, stepping into his space.

Felix raised an eyebrow. "Really? I'm a dangerous temptation, how so?" He asked, though his voice was smug.

He was taller than you but he crouched down, leaning forward so he could be at eye level with you.

You took a deep breath. "Because..." Your voice trailed off as you noticed a strand of hair covering his eye. You wanted to see his eyes. Without thinking you moved his escaping strand away, brushing it behind his ear. But it wasn't until you felt your fingertips reach the side of his face and saw him staring at you, not backing away either, gave you a weird longing.

What if tonight nothing mattered?

What if you could just be?

Felix stepped closer to your space, looking down at you. When he watched your hand slowly run through his hair, you caught him biting his lip subtly, but to you it was so hot.

He said your name then, eyes on you. When you looked at him, as the blue lights shone on his face, you could see a dark look in his eyes, it was calling you.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" You asked lowly.

A night of first experiences. It started with the drink offering, it continued with the flirtatious comments, and now it came to this point. You may have imagined the possibility of 'what if', but now it was your reality.

You just asked the hottest man in this whole club if he wanted to leave with you. That was something you never imagined yourself to do.

You looked to the side for a second, but the moment that you would want to second guess, a gaze of his would send darts to your heatt, causing it to beat rapidly in response to how he was looking at you. A wave of intensity and suddenly fear of regret if the night didn't happen, rushed through your soul.

"My place or yours?" Felix asked. His voice was even deeper if that made sense, filled with need.

"Yours." You said immediately.

~Present Day ~

You glanced on the watch on your arm, and then looked back to the stage. It was empty, the smoke machine clouding your vision. The playlist in the background was loud, the stero basically right in front of you. But what did you expect, you were front row.

You wondered where he was, maybe backstage with Hyunjin and Lee Know. You recalled when you first formally met the two, a few days after the first night you met Felix. It was a hang out, he called it, where a bunch of his friends and him were grabbing drinks and he wanted to see you again. He also wanted to talk to you. You didn't know why you said yes. He was supposed to be a stranger you'd know for one night, and then you both would leave each other and never see each other again. But of course, knowing your luck, it could never happen.

That night, the first one where after his set, you both left the venue not looking back, nothing actually happened. You were a virgin, you were raised strictly under rigid parental rules, you never drank or did drugs, you haven't had a first real kiss, you've never had any guy talk to you let alone bring you to their place, and you were scared regardless. But you wanted him. You didn't know why, but you wanted Felix so much.

~3 months ago~

Your foreheads pressed against each other. You felt his hands grab your face but you let your head stay around his. You could feel him all around, inhaling his scent. You were in his room, in his bed and yet...nothing. Sure there were touches here and there, kisses peppered down your neck, but you were so nervous. In the heat of the moment, being in the club with the blaring lights, electrifying music and sensual atmosphere it was easy to not think and let go. But right there in Felix's house, things were more difficult to navigate.

"I...don't know." You admitted softly.

Felix sighed, planting a kiss on your forehead once more. When he departed, he looked at you, and then ran his hands down your arm.

"If you don't want to do this, we don't have to." He said.

You glanced at the bed. It was soft, inviting, right there. And that was Felix was well. He was right there.

You looked down at your lap. "I want to, but...i- I don't know."

Felix remained quiet, nodding. When you saw his understanding you rested your arms around his neck, giving him some physical consolement. He breathed in deeply, eyes closed for a second before he leaned in once more and kissed the side of your chin. You hitched out a gasp.

"You want to but you don't know." Felix repeated your words against your skin.

He had a tendency of doing that, of throwing back the words you said so that you could hear echo in his voice. It was a shot of questioning if you were really sure. But it was so attractive coming from him.

Without even realizing it, you slightly tilted your head to the side, allowing him the access. His hands traveled down to your waist and as the kisses went deeper he found grip in your hips. A slow hand creeped, under your shirt to touch your bare skin. But as you felt his touch your eyes opened and you moved in your seat.

"Felix...I..."

You didn't want Felix to get annoyed. Every time you initiated something, he would respond to it, then you chickened out. You were sure that back in the club there were a lot of people who would want to spend the night with Felix.

You were the one that asked him, and now that it was happening you're nervous and indecisive?

You shook your head, feeling stressed out. It shouldn't be this stressful. Either you wanted it or not.

"I'm sorry." You apologized in a whisper.

Felix stared at you a little more. "What do you want from me, baby? What do you want me to do for you?"

~Present Day~

Two months and 13 days. It had been two months and 13 days since you've seen him. You were nervous as you craned your neck trying to look for something. You eyed the exit sign. You felt ridiculous. Surely you wanted to see this performance, but you were right up front, meaning Felix would see you.

He sent you an invitation, letting you know that he was going to be performing at an event. It wasn't even a bar or a club, it was an arts venue where people got the chance to display their talents and get scouted if they had the chance. You were proud of Felix, and Hyunjin and Lee Know. You knew that they were talented and worked hard.

You were curious for their song choice. Felix didn't say much when you asked him, just that it was written by the three of them inspired by true events. Then he told you it'd be special if you could make it, since it was inspired by you.

You never had a song inspired by you before.

You were going to go regardless. It wouldn't matter if they sang about bowling, whatever it was, you knew they would put on a show. But the fact that it was inspired by you...what part of you?

Would it be very direct and knowing? Did it include your name? Or was it slightly subtle, using certain words and symbolism that only made sense from the person that wrote it, and the muse.

Your heart beat at the thought. There was an anticipation growing in the air as the smoke machine from the stage traveled just about where you were. You breathed in deeply and closed your eyes. You were ready for whatever was to come.

~3 months ago~

It became on and off, like a tennis match.

Another night the guys performed at a bar. When their set was done, a lady with long brown hair and a sparkly black dress walked over to Felix and was talking to him across the room. She was smiling, using wild gestures and you're stomach flipped when you saw her hold on to his arm while laughing. Felix gave a smile and talked with her for a bit, nodding along to what she was saying.

You felt pathetic. Why did you think that you and Felix had something? There were rules and natures to the club scene. People weren't to be in contact with each other after a nightly exchange. So if you were the one Felix talked to that first night, that meant someone else would be the one the next time.

You got up from your seat abruptly, and Felix's eyes averted to you but you turned, picking up your purse, and then weaved your way through the crowd. You were done with the night. You needed to go back to your place and relax.

You left the bar and stood by the crossroad, waiting for the light to turn green so you could walk. As you looked up into the night sky, your eyes trying to adjust to the orange street lights in comparison to the darker theme shades in the bar, you heard footsteps behind you.

"She just wanted to say she liked our set. She works in the music industry."

It was Felix no doubt.

You shook your head and then shrugged. "Okay...? That's great."

"You don't have to be jealous about it, I'm not interested in her."

You weren't facing Felix, but you could hear the undertones of his voice and recognized the smug. He was enjoying this.

"I'm not jealous." You said.

Felix hummed. "You're not jealous, huh?" You could feel him walking closer to you.

"You must think so lowly of me." Felix's hand snaked around your waist and then pulled you closer with no effort.

"You left a whole bar, took all your stuff, just because I was talking to someone of the opposite sex. You don't think I know what's going through your brain right now, do you?"

You breathed in deeply, inhaling his scent once more. The close contact was driving you crazy but you kept your eyes to the signs, waiting for the signal for you to walk.

And then a kiss planted on the back of your neck. And another. And another.

"The way you look mirrors how I look at you. The way you think of me is what I think of you. How your body yearns for me is how my body yearns for you. You don't think I would know?" Felix's voiced out in a low purr in your ears, his breath fanning your skin.

Slow kisses peppered lightly on your neck and then traveled down to your shoulder.

"You're sexy when you get jealous. So innocent yet so possessive? It turns me on." Felix narrated, holding you up as you could feel tingles throughout the course of your body.

It should have been weird thinking that you were in the position outside for all the public to see as you waited at the crossroads, but you didn't mind. In a weird way it was almost thrilling? You wished that you could go home with him then and there.

But you couldn't. And just as Felix's left hand slid down your thigh, you took a step forwards moving away.

"Felix," You took a deep breath, and then faced him. "You know I can't." You said.

For the first time, he got quiet. There was a slight look on his face, a flash of something you couldn't depict before he looked at you.

"What do you want from me then?" Felix asked, once more, saying your name calmly.

"You undress me with your eyes but get all shy whenever I touch you. What are you leaving me with?" He asked.

You looked down. You figured you owed Felix the truth.

"I've never done...anything with anyone before." You admitted.

Felix nodded. "That's fine, I have no intention of taking something away from you if that's not what you want. But you've told me you wanted it. And you seduce me. You ask me to take you to my apartment. I can't think straight when I'm with you. And yet the moment we try, you're gone." Felix said, running fingers through his hair.

"You're confused." He added.

I blinked and then shook my head. "You're the one confusing me. I don't know what I want to do with you. I don't know what I want you to do to me. I imagine things and I want to experience it with you..." You let your voice trail off.

Felix brushed hair out of your eyes. "I want to do everything to you. But you're not helping me. And this innocent self of yours isn't innocent at all. You're a temptress." Felix kissed you once more right by your jaw, just where you felt your knees went weak.

But he left go before anything escalated. His eyes looked over your head and then he pointed. "If you really want to go, it's your walk now."

You turned and looked seeing that there was indeed the countdown for the street. Cars waited for you to cross, their gazes impatient. You looked back at Felix and then the light once more.

You may have been a 'temptress' but Felix was nothing more than a 'tempter' himself.

~Present Time ~

They were last. Of course they were last.

The event night had gone on, with amazing debuting artists and groups. You liked the music and enjoyed the varied dances. There were traditional styles, ballads sung, hip-hop numbers, rock...etc. It was a little bit of everything.

You almost forgot the main reason why you were here. You were enjoying the night way more than you had initially expected, but as the MC came on stage thanking everyone for coming, it was then you realized they were the showstoppers.

"We have one more group for you guys, they're performing an original never performed before, ladies and gentleman! You're the first to hear this so let's make sure it's extra special to them. Give it up for Danceracha!"

The audience cheered and your heart thundered as the room went dark, lights out for a second. You sat up straighter, your eyes never leaving the stage as you prepared for anything though you weren't sure for what to expect.

See: Blue lights. It was a deep hue, and with the visuals of bubbles on the screens surrounded the room as though the place was underwater. Three spotlights in light blue lines centered towards the three that move as soon as the song starts. Hyunjin to the left, Lee Know in the middle, and Felix on the right side. There were dancers around the stage in black, in a startup runners position but not moving.

Hear: The music started. F# minor. It sounded mysterious, alluring, matching the colors of the lights around. It's own kind of sexy but captivating in a way that would make anyone wonder what was to come.

The three danced with grace and flow, synchronizing with the beat. The intro played, your eyes looking to where he was.

And how could you not? He looked incredible in a deep indigo unbuttoned silk blazer atop a black tank top over black dress pants, accessorized in silver index rings for both his right and left hand, and a lock necklace over his chest. His black hair slightly growing a bit longer in the back, and fluffy front covering the sides of his face. He moved seriously, passionately, elegantly, and dangerously.

The backup dancers with them got up and the three starting walking to the center of the stage. Just as they started their formation, you heard the voice you unknowingly missed, the voice you craved.

Fake eyes open

또 속아버린 아픔

이참에 날 또

가지고 놀아줘

You took a deep breath. Even within the first lines you knew. You knew exactly what he was saying.

Lee know started singing next and you heard the softness of his tone.

Fake eyes open

또 속아버린 아픔

이참에 날 더

망가지게 놀아줘

Hyunjin came in third with the power of the song building up.

It's like bad red roses

향기에 미쳐 호흡이 가빠짐

아름다움에 가려진 짙고 두꺼운 가시

Don't care about it 알고 있잖아

베일에 싸인 눈동자

헷갈린다면 지금 이 순간을

Lee Know sang once more in a falsetto.

즐겨 baby baby don't test me oh no

Baby baby don't get me wrong

The next sequence had Lee Know and the dancers lower themselves, immediately drawing the spotlight now to Felix as he sang the next part. People around you cheered.

거짓은 안 해 감히

의미 부여한 이 밤의

정답은 you can get me

오로지 you can get me

The music played then, no words excepted Lee Know vocalizing and the smoothness of their dance. Almost like they were swimming. Almost like you were drowning.

They all got up, Felix singing once more.

Yeah make you feel my love la la la

지금 너 come and taste me now

Yeah you better watch out

You're gonna like ah

그래 난 속삭여 la la la la

Hyunjin came back to the center, carrying the last of the pre-chorus as the beat was building.

너와 나 둘 사이의 거릴 좁혀

잠깐의 호흡과 맞닿아 true up

이 스윗한 공간에 빨라진 ah

이 스윗한 공간에 달궈진

The music came to a sudden stop, only the faint sound of a chimy instrument playing as Felix graced the center of the stage, eyes turning to you as he pointed.

Just look....at...me

The beat of the chorus came back strong as the room erupted with cheers. The dance had intensified, filled with electrifying motion that made your heart soar. They were so in sync with each other and yet knowing that what they were saying was inspired by you...it made you sit up straighter and clear your throat.

And then your breath was held when you saw them in hypnotic rhythm going down to the floor.

Just look at me baby, day and night

A single touch. Even though part of the choreography, you weren't ready for Felix's hand that drifted up his leg as his back arched slightly, head rolled back as he sang that line.

What on earth was he doing to you and why was it working so much?

Lee Know started singing the next part again as the ground work was now on their knees.

Don't make me bad make me bad

I'm addicted to you

Hyunjin sang the next part in a beautiful falsetto.

이미 길들여진 내 맘을 자극해

They spun, getting out of the position and were now standing along with the dancers as Lee Know sang the same line again, the beat dropping.

Don't make me bad

Bad

Addicted to you

In synchronized movement, all the guys on stage leaned to the side. It was when looking at Felix and seeing his hand go up to his face did you realize it was him singing the same way Hyunjin just did in a heavenly falsetto, as if he wasn't the one with a low sultry voice for the duration of the song.

시작해 버린 이상 내 게 아님 안 돼

The music started to quiet down, back to the soft purr of seduction like the intro of the song. All of the guys' movements flowed like water, breathing heavily but graceful and poised in a swimming-like manner. It was just the keyboard pad and the chimed-like instrument playing as each person took a step back, and then another. And as the dancers dispersed to the sides of the stage, Felix, Lee Know and Hyunjin held their ending pose as the music came to an end, centered on the stage.

The lights went to black and everyone throughout the room cheered. You could see people around you giving standing ovations yet you stayed unmoved trying to still your beating heart and finding a way to process everything that just happened in the span of two minutes.

Desire. Need. Yearning. Passion. Sensual images and thoughts running in your head. Throughout the performance, though still professional, Felix managed to make a way of giving you his personal show. No one in the building would ever think anything of it, but the words, the dance, the eye contact, everything was what you understood.

It was something the two of you danced with yourselves. Wanting to give in, but being afraid. Yet so separately wanting to find out what would happen...if...

You sat back for a long time, an aftermath of conversations were playing as your background music even though the song was still in your head. Felix was engraved there. The way he looked, the way he sounded, the way he moved...it was everything to you.

The MC came back saying that the night was still young and there would be the chance for everyone to start partying and dancing the night away. The groups that would be scouted would be announced the following few days, but to throw all the worries aside the MC invited people go the dance floor.

You stayed for a little bit, and then got up. You needed to wash your face. You didn't know necessarily what that would do but you needed something to help you feel loose? You were feeling courageously needy, but for the first time, you didn't want the feeling to shoot down once activated.

When you took a minute to yourself- even though it didn't help much- rinsing cold water on your face, you looked at your reflection in the bathroom window. Replays of the performance ran once more through your head. You couldn't help but feel a bit of pride, considering the fact that there were many young and pretty people who had eyes and could definitely see Felix as attractive, and yet...you were the one he was singing to.

You had to find him.

You stayed in the bathroom for about a minute more and wiped at the cold droplets on the sides of your face before you took a deep breath and walked out, going back to the main room. You stopped right at the entrance of the door, scanning the crowd. Felix could be anywhere. Perhaps backstage, maybe talking to people, or maybe....

Wait.

It was timely how you recognized him. Insane, really, because all down the far side he was basically a shadow. But you saw him. You saw at the far corner someone sitting by the back corner. Drink in hand, manspread on the wooden chair. His blazer was off, revealing his black tank top.

He was ruining you without even doing anything.

Surrounding him was a couple of other guys. They had black T-shirts on so you figured it was the some of the backup dancers.

You took a deep breath and then started walking. You awkwardly weaved your way through the dancing train of people before you got to the back of the room. When you reached the table, everyone turned. You felt nervous seeing that you were looking right at Felix after all this time of no contact.

"Um...we're gonna go to the floor. I'm sure you two have some catching up to do." One of the dancers said. He gave a knowing look at you and you wondered if he knew who you were.

Felix shot a smile, giving him a crisp dap and then a salut. "Okay, have fun." He wished.

His voice. How you missed the sound of his voice.

Felix waited a few extra seconds to see each of them leave you both before he averted his eyes to you. There was a story twisted with an airing confidence in his eyes.

"Didn't think you'd show." He said, now planting his elbow on the table. He leaned back, shamelessly staring down your low v-neck shirt. But you were shamelessly staring at his arms, playing at this game as well.

You shrugged. "I had to. I know how much this night is important to you."

Felix nodded, taking a sip of his drink before setting the glass down. "So..." He pushed his hair back, combing his fingers through it before he leaned forward.

"Did you like what you saw?" He asked.

You didn't want to sugarcoat it. You couldn't anyway.

"You were incredible. And the song...it was...it made me think of things..." You answered shyly.

Felix didn't say anything for a few seconds but you saw the corner of his lip lift in a small smirk.

"Yeah? What kind of things?"

You looked down, feeling the heat on your cheeks as your mind went wild. Imagining having Felix touch you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear with his deep voice, to be the one you could experiment with. He sold that image during the performance, and you wanted nothing more than for him to carry that persona with you, behind closed doors, no one watching.

"Talk to me, baby. What's on your mind? I wanna know." Felix said, his eyes looking up at you in a strange innocent doe way, as if he wasn't the one in charge for setting your soul on passionate fire.

You breathed deeply, taking slow steps towards him. He was right in front of you now, though he didn't stand up and you didn't sit. You were looking down at him and Felix was looking up at you.

"It made me think of...you doing whatever you want to me..." You said.

Felix didn't make any quick movements but somehow he sat closer. He reached forward and hooked his finger to your belt loops, slowly reeling you closer.

"Is that so?" He asked, looking up at you.

You took a sharp intake of air, trying to hold it together. It wasn't even much but this gesture made you feel in need, like a glimpse of what could happen tonight with his control.

But suddenly Felix let go of his grip, his hands in the air in a surrendering position.

You looked at him confusingly. Why would he stop right there? Right when you began to feel once more like pottery clay molding into his hands.

Felix looked at you dead in the eye. "I'm not going to touch you at all, if you don't want this. Okay?"

You nodded.

"No, love, I need words. You got it?" His voice was firm and clear. It seemed to you he was done with mixed signals. And you understood him, because you were done too.

"Yes." You answered in a small voice.

Felix nodded once, licking his lips as he took in all of you. But just as he said, he stuck to the rules, folding his arms instead. You knew in this moment you had to be the one to take the first leap.

So you did something you've seen in movies a couple of times. You stepped closest to Felix and then brought your hand down to his chest, slowly. Felix took in a sharp breath, but still looked at you, challenging a continuation by your command. When you felt confident in doing so, you withdrew your hand from his chest slowly. Locking eyes with his, you nodded.

"I do want this. I'm not going to be like a light switch and annoy you, I truly want this more than ever. I want you." You said.

Felix looked at you and then looked around the room, and back at you. "You're sure?"

"Yes." You repeated, your voice louder.

Felix flashed a smile as he stood up, towering over you. He wrapped an arm around your waist and just when you were right in front of him you could feel his kisses finding their way across your neck, a familiar feeling you didn't know how much you missed.

But you didn't want your first time to be in a crowd as loud as this, barely hearing as the pop and EDM fill your eardrums.

As though sensing that, Felix pulled away, but lifted your chin so you were at eye level with him.

"I'm going to take you to my place, okay? Do you have your stuff?" He asked lowly.

You were so caught up staring at him, so close to your face, that you almost forgot what he asked. But you nodded, looking down at your purse. "Yeah, it's all here."

Felix nodded and then smiled at you in such an endearing way you could almost kiss him first at the sight.

You were breathing heavily, heart beating. The moment would soon be yours and you wanted to savor everything, remembering the exact feelings you had to look back on.

Felix didn't waste time placing a hand on your knee as he drove, caressing you ever so softly but enough to make you shiver in your seat. It was a reminder that you very much so were in his car and was going back to the place you hadn't been in months. Only, there would be a different ending with this time.

And when you arrived, you let out a small noise when he didn't even bother warning you, didn't even bother opening the lights, but he led you through the dark, entering his room. You faced the bed, knowing that tonight would be when it all would happen.

"You haven't changed your mind, no?" Felix asked, leaning against the drawer as he eyed you.

Why was he so effortlessly hot?

You shook your head and looked at Felix. "No." You said.

When you thought back to the performance, the words Felix said, how he sang, the daunting look in his eyes, you would be a fool to not take this opportunity and truly let go for the first time. And you wanted it to be Felix who would have his way with you, however he wanted it. You couldn't see it any other way.

"You're shaking."

"Oh am I? I didn't notice." You replied sarcastically, which made Felix chuckle.

"I missed you." He admitted, which made your heart flip.

"I missed you too." You repeated.

Felix slowly walked over, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.

"Close your eyes and relax for me?" He whispered in your ear.

Hear: His low voice penetrated your being. Sultry and soothing but charming and the very thing that made you at his service and obey.

You closed your eyes immediately and felt his lips nuzzle your ear. But you let out a small giggle, squirming a little. You could hear Felix laugh behind you.

"It tickles?"

You just giggled in reply. You still keep your eyes closed. For a few seconds there's nothing, but right after you felt his arms wrap around your chest, holding you tightly as he presses his sweet kisses on the back of your neck once again.

Smell: The scent of his cologne was intoxicating, beckoning and surrounded you at the same time. You wanted to bathe in it.

You sighed deeply.

"Remember to breathe, yeah?" Felix advised, his lips moving on your skin.

"Yeah." Your heart fluttered and you exhaled.

Felix hummed, his hand grazing down your chest. "You're so..." His voice trailed off.

You waited, hesitant but curious as to what Felix thought of you. But after long seconds of nothing as Felix started to kiss down your shoulder, you turned your neck slightly, opening your eyes.

"I'm so...? What? What am I?" You asked.

Felix took your waist, and gently moved you so that you were now turned around and facing him. Strands of hair fell in your face in the process of sudden movement, and Felix smiled, pushing the strands back behind your ear.

"When there's a better word than tempting I'll use it, but until then, that's all I'll say." He whispered.

"You're tempting me." You let out in a small voice.

"I'm tempting you." Felix repeated. You now concluded that when he repeated your words, it was the hottest thing ever.

Felix tilted his head upwards, looking at you with daring eyes. "Do something about it?" He dared.

Oh. My. Soul.

You took a deep breath, looking down. You were still scared, even though there was something that enveloped you. A feeling of want and need mixted together, as though the aftermath wouldn't even matter as long as Felix was right in front of you, staring with the same look of desire.

Touch: Your hands slowly grazed his chest, slowly and tentatively pulling the hem of his tank top.

Felix eyed you as he licked his lips, as though blinking would make him miss something.

Your heart beat continuously, mind pressing with thoughts as you, once more, noticed the scene heighten your five senses.

See: No other eyes but his, looking at no one else but you. The glow after dancing on stage, the beauty that was present with his dark features. The intoxicating look of thirst in his gaze.

Hear: Breathing. Faint but heavy. You couldn't even tell if it was coming from you or him, but you could hear the tension.

Smell: His cologne. The scent of springtime with a spice of power.

Touch: The fabric of the tank top. Cotton, perhaps? You didn't know. You didn't care. You suddenly wanted it off.

There was once more sense, but the intensity of the moment was making you experience a sort of amnesia. It made you frustrated, those leading up moments where they were careful and with care, but also dropped with tension that would wanted to cut. It was like a dam just moments before it would burst. But now this was driving you crazy because....

What was that last sense?

Felix's beautiful lips parted when you felt his abs through the shirt. He held your head with his hands, his eyes solely fixated on your lips.

"Kiss me or leave me." He whispered, the words powerful enough to send a wave through your core.

And that was when it clicked. His song. The last sense.

Taste.

The taste of his lips on yours, crashing, furiously enough let your head fall back. He groaned against your mouth, holding the back of your hair with the palm of his hand. He tasted like cinnamon but also a hint of peppermint as well. He fueled you in a way that was better than any of your imaginations.

So like tonight, and 3 months ago when you both first met, you were drowning in alluring waters under the surface of where you temptations washed over you. But unlike the game of tug-of-war to your body and heart where you would win, tonight you let the rope go with no regrets. You knew that this night was where finally, all of your senses aligned gloriously, and that there was no other person who could give it all to you but Felix.

[imsadstuff]

A Royal Romance - Teaser 1

Author Note: So, as promised, I am putting out the first teaser for this fic, read it, like it, and comment if you want to be added to the tag list. Let me know of all of your thoughts, feelings and even suggestions. Please note that this is just a small part of the fic, if it looks like it's a normal meet cute romance, it is not, it's a twisted royal romance.

Genre: Romance, Angst, Love Triangle, lots and lots of romance

Warnings: Mentions of smoking and drinking

Link to my masterlist if you want to check out my other stuff : here

“Congratulations!!!” Mingyu hollers as he sees Jungkook right before going on stage. The two friends hug each other, first time tonight when Jungkook greets someone comfortably. They met ages ago, in high school and even tho Mingyu is a high-profile model, they’ve stayed close.

“I’m so nervous I may throw up” Jungkook mutters to his friend as he adjusts his suit, it’s right at that moment that there’s a loud commotion, and all the sudden, the press if focused elsewhere.

The two men silently try and focus in on the cause of it all, their eyes stay fixed as a woman with a glamorous golden dress and her shiny hair come into focus. She isn’t just any other woman, she’s princess ___, and that just makes Jungkook more nauseous.

“She’s beautiful isn’t she” Mingyu mutters as the men continue to shamelessly stare as the princess walks closer to the event.

“Breathtaking” Jungkook can feel a few cameras on himself too, but he can’t help but look away. Everything about her grabs his attention, her smile, the flowy hair, the dress.

“Okay, she’s coming closer, I’ll go and smile for the cameras and see you inside” Mingyu leaves with one final tap on his friends back while Jungkook stays turned around, waiting for the princess to come closer. He contemplates if he should walk closer to greet here, and Han is tapping is shoulder before he decides.

“The royal protocol is you bow first, and the formal greeting is your royal highness and ma’am after that, go on, walk to her” Han instructs and Jungkook follows, suddenly right in front of her. He bows like instructed and so does she, ___ looks at her expectantly, and suddenly Jungkook’s forgotten how to speak.

“Congratulations Mr Jeon, now I haven’t played video games ever, but people in my office love playing yours after hours” ___ takes the lead and Jungkook can’t help but smile widely.

“Thank you, your royal highness, hopefully, the people in your office like this one as well” he says as they walk to the stage, at a very glacial stage.

“Oh don’t start with the your royal highness, call me ___, please” ___ says with a small smile, picking up her dress ever so slightly to walk better, the heels are definitely taxing.

“I’m not going to do that, my assistant may actually shoot me if I don’t follow the royal protocol, he’s briefed me on it a hundred times since your RSVP’d” Jungkook jokes and ___ can’t help be a bit charmed by his toothy smile.

“Oh, I don’t want to be the reason you get shot, on a very important day for you after all” the two of them have totally stopped by the stage for this conversation, disregarding all the cameras.

“He’s quite strict, right now, he’s probably accounting all the extra time we’ve taken up to talk and adjust the timeline for the rest of the event” Jungkook jokes, despite how nervous he is, he doesn’t want the princess thinking he’s not funny.

“Oh well, not to make his job too hard, I’ll go on stage and be pretty before you get into more trouble” ___ says as she takes a step back, but still not moving. He eyes go from his big bright eyes, to his many ear piercings, to his folded over shirt collar. Her instincts tell her to just reach and straighten it, but she smiles and indicates to it, suddenly all aware of the cameras.

Jungkook shyly nods as he fixes her collar, looking back at her. “Thank you for this, and coming here” “Thank you for inviting me, and come find me inside” she says as she walks away.

Han had been feeling breathless all day, he’s been working towards this for this last three months, and that was just the event. He thought he would almost faint the moment Jungkook misspoke during the presentation, but to his relief, his boss just laughed and continued on. As Jungkook gets off the stage, done with the formalities of it all, the dinner is served and he feels like he can finally breath again.

“Where am I seated for the dinner?” Jungkook asks as he unbuttons his suit jacket, if it were up to him, he would have removed it all together.

“With your family,” Han says as he leads Jungkook to the assigned table, they stop every now and then as people congratulate him.

“I’ll go and see my parents, but if you could find me a table on the princesses table, she asked me to come find her” Jungkook speaks with a small smile, when up on stage, he could see her very clearly in her golden dress, she listened very intently for someone who doesn’t play video games.

“I’ll see, Mingyu has been keeping her company so I’ll move him or ask her safety officer to move to the next table” the thought of Mingyu chatting her up suddenly has Jungkook a bit bothered, but before he can think more of it, his mother engulfs him in a warm hug.

“Have you taken your medicine?” Jungkook asks his father as the first course is being served. Han texted him that moving anyone is not possible right now, he’ll have to come and find her once dinner is over.

“I did, you need to stop worrying about me, and celebrate your success today” his father says with a gentle tap to his hand. Jungkook worries, constantly worries after the minor stroke his father had a few months ago.

His brother is busy talking to his wife, so are his parents and the sudden quite at the table forces Jungkook to look around. He sees a room full of the most important people to his and his country as they continue to chat away, the room is full of voices and constant sound of cutlery.

He sees his senior team as they discuss something, he sees a table full of influencers as they continue to be on their phone, the table full of his investors among the many tables around him. But he’s looking for one specific one that he just can’t spot yet.

“Who are you looking for?” Nari, his sister-in-law asks as the dessert is served. On a normal day, Jungkook would absolutely be attacking this dessert, but he just doesn’t have the appetite today.

“Princess ___” Jungkook answers honestly, he’s known Nari for years now, she’s not someone he can lie too. Nari giggles as she turns around in her seat, trying to spot the princess and she immediately does.

“She is quite dazzling, very royal. She doesn’t attend events like these, how did you even manage to invite her?” Nari asks as she takes a bite of tiramisu. Jungkook smiles as he thinking back to a letter that Han explained over a month ago.

“Her office was the one that reached out actually, she sent a royal letter to congratulate us on our success and new adventure. Han was completely puzzled about what to do, I mean what does one even do when a royal princess tells you that your business has been making tremendous waves in the market. So, to reciprocate, we sent her an invite to the event, knowing full well she won’t say yes, but to our surprise she did” Jungkook explains taking a bite himself too, and he would have regretted if he didn’t taste this tiramisu.

“Wow, that’s all you sent, an invite-“ “With flowers” Jungkook had picked out the hydrangeas himself, they were in season.

“I’m speaking at a college tomorrow, it’s a panel about a complicated topic that basically means how important it is for women to be in higher education” ___ shares with her new friend Kim Mingyu. Tonight she’s seated with Mingyu on one side and Namjoon on the other, there are other business people on the table that she hasn’t bother to talk to much. They had disappeared after dinner to socialize themselves.

“Wow, you’re getting your masters right?” Mingyu asks as he takes a sip of his champagne, now that the dinner is done, there’s a more causal feel in the banquet room, with free-flowing drinks and talk.

“Yes, that reminds me that I have to meet one of my professors about some study material he’s assigned” ___ shares as she nurses her second gin and tonic of the night. Her new friend chuckles before he drowns his drink entirely.

“I never went to college, I was scouted during high school. It happened at a game room that Jungkook and I were leaving. Jungkook was scouted too, but he had his eyes set on Seoul University” Mingyu shares and flashes of Jungkook in his double-breasted jacket and crinkling eyes as he smiles come back to her.

“That’s where I’m speaking tomorrow, Mr Jeon’s alma matter” “Mr Jeon?” a voice booms from behind them, its Jungkook with two drinks in his hand.

“Namjoon scoot over, let Mr Jeon sit” ___ nudges her security officer who has a very straight face that scares Jungkook, he just smiles shyly as he takes the seat next to the princess.

“No Mr Jeon, just Jungkook your royal highness” “Well, that can only happen when it’s ___ instead of your royal highness Mr Jeon” Mingyu watches this banter and in a blink of a second, it’s almost like he’s invisible, not that he’s complaining. He’s observed his best friend look at the princess with stars in his eyes all evening, still Mingyu isn’t sure it’s being he’s enchanted by her or because she’s a princess.

“Actually no, it has to be your royal highness or ma’am for him, there’s way too much press here for him to address you casually” Namjoon interjects and ___ has truly never gotten over Namjoon being the straight man.

“You see ma’am, you come with rules that I just can’t look past, now I’m afraid he’s going to shoot me” Jungkook jokes taking a double take to the very muscular man to his other side, a man who can definitely take him down.

“But I am younger than you, ma’am makes me feel middle aged” ___ complains as she reaches over for one of the glasses of champagne Jungkook brought over. She’s breaking the two-drink rule tonight.

“Ma’am is for respect, your royal highness you are third in line to the royal throne” Namjoon interjects again and ___ wants to reach over and punch him, but she knows it’s only going to hurt her.

“Can we step away for a moment, for a smoke maybe” ___ asks Jungkook and he’s immediately pushing his chair back to stand up while Namjoon mutters a no.

Tag List - @soblavk @livingkoalaface @solastica

[seaofreverie]

They Might Be Giants at the Roundhouse, London, 17th November 2024

Happy 35th to Flood, hooray!!!! So here's this thing that I've put together just in time for this occasion, my written record... I mean, my very lengthy and detailed review of the first and so far only TMBG show I’ve attended, on November 17th 2024 in London, so, the last show of the so-called “30th anniversary” Flood tour.

And yeah, I mean it that this thing is lengthy and mostly my personal insights on stuff but still, I wanted to share it since this was an event that I’d been anticipating for many many months, and I tried my best here to capture all the feelings this day brough and the whole magic and all the amazement surrounding it.

I’m also going to put here all of the 7 videos I took during the show, ranging in length from 7 seconds to 7 minutes. And they were taken from the front row, so the view is pretty great and something worth sharing I think!

So yep. Hope you enjoy!!

Every once in a while a day comes along in your life that feels like it’s been taken straight out of a movie. It’s hard to tell how often that happens, but probably not too often, since I can’t remember the last time it did before this. And what I mean here is that the day of my first TMBG show was pretty much nothing but moments that somehow felt just RIGHT, like everything was coming together just PERFECTLY, so that I could have the best possible experience and the best imaginable time!! Starting with my biggest wishes and hopes, down to all the extra details that I didn’t even think about previously. But anyway…

Before the show…

You’d think that I would start officially #freakingout about one of my biggest dreams in life coming true (seeing my favourite band, who are also one of my biggest special interests, in REAL LIFE, and enjoying one of their amazing live shows IN PERSON) earlier than this, but that only actually started on the evening of the day before the show. And because of that the entire next morning and afternoon felt really weird and tense in a way that I can’t really describe. But I hope you get what I mean. It’s like wow, it’s finally happening, but noooo wait hold on, I’m not ready yet…

And so my travel companions and I spent most of the day walking around Camden Town where the show was taking place, but for me that whole time was this really weird mix of feeling like I’m walking on clouds and like I’m just entirely somewhere else and also awaiting the scariest most important exam of my whole life.

We arrived by the venue sometime around 1 PM and when I saw the poster plastered on the wall that listed “An Evening With They Might Be Giants” among other acts, that was the moment when it maybe finally hit me that THIS THING WAS REAL. And maybe this is a good time to mention that the only thing left on the long list of all the things that could possibly still go wrong at this point, was managing to get a spot as close to the stage as possible, so, in the first row. And there were already two people just standing there by the venue when we got there and I actually couldn’t tell if they were already queuing up because, well, it was still so early. But I’m about 100% sure now that, in fact, they were.

Another important thing to note is that I was hoping to meet my friend at the show, who also attended the previous night’s show in Bristol, and me impatiently awaiting any sort of updates on how all of that went definitely added to all the nervousness I was feeling that whole day. And also, when I decide on something, well, I’m stubborn as hell so it HAS to go the way I planned it or I will be pretty much devastated.

But it was still super early and we had to get dinner and all that stuff so we left for now. And after some time I eventually got a message from my friend saying that NO, 5:30 will be too late for the first row, probably, and I was uhhhh, very on edge at this point. But ok. Better wait too long in the queue than regret not getting there earlier forever.

It was probably a pretty unusual sight to my brother (who I dragged along with me to the show) when I practically RAN to the venue when we were close to arriving there sometime past 4 PM. I swear I remember imagining that I’m already seeing a huge queue of people in front of me somewhere in the distance until I get closer and am relieved that no, no such thing happening, thank god. I mean, well yes, I was REALLY not even remotely chill about this whole thing guys. And yeah, it’s important to mention that I did travel over 1500 kilometers or so just for this show and nothing else. The whole trip and all the sightseeing I did in London in the days leading up to this day and afterwards was just an added bonus.

But alright, we got there. And what we were met with instead were maybe 15 or so people who were mostly scattered in small groups around the entrance. And a guy playing an accordion. Just in case I needed that extra confirmation that, yes, the gig I’m going to will be HERE and not in some other place. Yet I still had this worry as I started talking to one group of fans that waitttt, maybe they’re actually talking about some other band and I’m making a fool of myself…

But well yeah anyway, we were there, it was time to just wait for the big event now, time to be brave and use this opportunity to chat with other fans even a bit… And so I did, and despite not really having any opportunities to actually TALK in English to other people most of the time, I think I did pretty well. One thing that stuck with me the most for some reason was how these two guys were talking about how one of them doesn’t like BOOK and how that’s scandalous according to the other guy pretty much, and the other guy's statement on Synopsis For Latecomers was that whatever your opinion might be on the song, it’s still definitely a THEY song (I love that and I think about that all the time now, like man, it really is just They in a nutshell in a way).

And then my friend and their bestie arrived!! Just after we (all the people who were waiting already) decided to form some sort of actual queue. We found ourselves at the end of it, at least for now… And the remaining 2 hours of waiting for the doors to open were before us. It dragged on a bit of course but not TOO terribly, since I could catch up on all sorts of stuff with my friend, because we haven’t actually seen each other in oh, well over a year!

We talked about the Bristol show too among many other things, and I learned some important things, such as how Lie Still, Little Bottle got played already the day before, soooo… probably not much of a chance of it returning this evening (this might be like the only real thing I wish was different about this day because, AAAAHHH, THE STIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!! how I’d have loved to see that… But never say never, maybe it just wasn’t meant to be just YET!). And also how today the queue was luckily much smaller so, no being stuck in the third row this time!

Also, it started raining eventually, as it does in the UK, right, (it actually wasn’t rainy at all for most of the week I stayed there, just that day pretty much… another one of very few somewhat unfortunate things about this day) and it rained for probably close to an hour, and by god, did it get freaking FREEZING very fast. I inevitably had a huge cold for several days afterwards because of this, but well, what even is this sort of sacrifice, when in exchange you get the best possible concert experience. Because yeah, it definitely paid off to get there early, the queue never got SUPER long but still, wouldn’t have ended up where we did if it weren’t for that long wait.

And maybe now I should say some more general things about the wait, which is that this whole time, when I wasn’t feeling impatient, I was really just, truly soaking it all in (and not just the rain, lol). And a crucial part of that whole wait was that the accordion guy was still playing his songs, many songs of TMBG and at least a couple of John Linnell’s State Songs. I realize now that I should have written them down right after the show, because now all I remember him playing are Erase, South Carolina and West Virginia.

One funny thing that happened was when some guy walked by our (by then) pretty long queue and seemed surprised that there were so many people waiting for something. So my friend told him that we were waiting for a show and that it was a They Might Be Giants show, but what did he actually hear??

The guy: …Michael Jackson? But he’s dead!

So I guess that English speakers will also get the band's name terribly wrong sometimes, not just every vinyl vendor I’ve ever talked to back at home, lol. But yeah, he eventually got the name right but still, it’s really funny to think about… There May Be Giants, Michael Jackson… it’s all the same thing.

But alright, the last few minutes were drawing near… And then, at long last, we were in! And I guess I was so caught up in the moment (and also the fact that the security guy had a bit of an issue with my metal pins that I put on my jacket without really thinking about this possibly being a problem, oops) that I almost screwed up big time in a way because hey, we’re in, you’re free to go now, get your spot by the stage as fast as possible!! And so I got myself together, followed the example of my friend, and did that.

And ok, all in all, this was absolutely surreal to me. Only the very first of the many biggest this CANNOT be real moments of the night. Realizing that wow, we’re actually here… Nothing went terribly wrong in the end, we travelled all this way just to get here and here we are. And we’re in the first row!! OH MY GOD!! The folks who were ahead of us in the queue lined up by the left side and the middle of the stage, so we ended up to the right of Linnell’s keyboard and right in front of Marty’s drumkit. So we still had a very good viewing point if you ask me!

And I could NOT believe how close we were, the stage and all the instruments were SO CLOSE!!! This was actually my first time being in the pit at a concert, I’ve only ever known the balcony view… Meanwhile here they were, the legendary Main Squeeze in the REAL WORLD, the jackalope thingy on the drum kit that says They Might Be Giants… The pre-show music was blaring, everyone else was getting excited and I was suddenly HIT by all of it and how unbelievable and amazing and perfect it was and I was so so close to just crying right there because of it all…

But well, I collected myself and faced the fact that there was still at least an hour of waiting ahead of us (turned out to be an hour and a half, because the doors opened earlier than originally scheduled, but the show didn’t start until the original 8 PM anyway). But at least we were inside now, so no more freezing! And we could actually even sit down for a while finally (not that anyone besides me or my two friends did that from what I could tell, for once I managed to not care about how I appear to others and do what’s considered “normal” and it’s so great and important and such a big part of why this was such a wonderful evening in the end).

I also need to say that wow, Flansburgh’s intermission playlist really is so good. Not gonna lie that I was really excited for this part of the show as well, and I even had some very satisfying moments of recognizing a song or two and telling my friends about it (Funkadelic’s Can You Get To That will have a very special association for me now because that’s what was playing when we first got there). Some other memorable moments include when crew members were milling around the stage, and I’m pretty sure that none other than Stan Harrison walked in for a moment too?? Because those moments also served as constant reminders that THE GUYS will be here too, so soon…

Show time!!!

Set 1

Alright, time for what we all actually came here for. Time for the show. The lights went down for a moment, there were moderate amounts of screaming that made me feel like I’m back on a school trip visiting a theatre with other kids, who start screaming the moment it gets dark right before the play starts. But this time I was (even if just mentally) screaming along.

The recording of the song They Might Be Giants started playing, we watched a short animation on that huge screen at the back of the stage, and then, the scariest and most unexpected thing happened. The whole band walked in and after a couple seconds launched right into Synopsis For Latecomers. And I’m saying this kind of as a joke but actually though, can we agree that the emotion that comes with the first time you see *your band* in the real world is just something else completely and kind of impossible to describe. Because in a way it’s also just so funny: you arrived here specifically with the intention of seeing these guys and then, when that actually happens, it feels like the most shocking event of your entire life. A little MIND ERROR moment, wait hold up kind of moment, or even… a Brain Problem Situation, if you will.

But ok, I also need to admit that it didn’t help when I got distracted over the fact that less than half a minute into the song, someone from the crew walked onto the stage to fix something about Danny’s guitar. And with all that stuff put together I was only half aware of what was even happening and being played most of the time, and like a second passed before we got to the horns part of the song, and the horns entered the stage (accompanied by cheering from everyone). And it was all just. Happening. Right in front of me. Like it’s nothing and no big deal at all.

But anyway. While I’m still on the topic of this song I need to say that out of all songs played this one still stuck with me probably the most in a sense. Because days after the show I could still hear it still playing in my mind aaaaaaaall. the. damn. time. So all in all, this was definitely a total BLAST of a first impression. This is an amazing live song, and a 10/10 show opener, which I think is also fully supported by my reaction to it, as documented here. And the horns!!! The horns, ladies and gentlemen!!!

After the first song we got greetings and an introduction from Flansburgh, who said that this was the last show of the run of Flood shows… and that they had to figure out a way to include all songs from Flood in the show. So what got played next was the obligatory Particle Man, something that I found myself being all sort of like “alright, of course…” about at first... I mean… it is funny and don’t get me wrong, this song is great live, and I loved the whole “Triangle Man, take off for the planet, for the planet VENUS!” bit of course (oh it was really really great and GRAND and loud), but I guess this also shows how very quickly I got into this whole spirit of a regular TMBG show goer of sorts, who already sort of resents one of the most played songs… even before actually hearing it.

Next up was Meet James Ensor and here’s another really funny thing: how surprisingly hard it can be to identify the song that’s being played during a show. You know them all and know all the lyrics, and yet you aren’t aware of what you’re actually singing??? *HOW* does that work!! Because the whole time I thought it was actually James K. Polk, later I couldn’t remember which of the two it was actually… And I only realized which song this actually was on the next day, when a random bit of conversation reminded me that yes, those were the lyrics of Ensor that I was singing yesterday.

However, you must forgive me for these follies, because it’s hard to think clearly when you have to catch up with the fact that without pause, the next thing played is The Famous Polka. It’s like oh my god it’s actually THE Famous Polka. The infamous Famous Polka stage collapse incident (so, the first thing that comes to mind concerning this song, to me) aside, another notable thing about this song is that it’s SUCH a blast of energy live. I want to say that around this point of the show I started really getting into it and singing along and stuff (well, not singing yet on THIS song) and I’ll add some more general thoughts of this nature at the end of the post but by god, is the pure energy and excitement of a TMBG show impossible to convey in any recording. I think you just really have to be there to really understand what it’s all about. And a song like this one might be one of the finest examples of that.

And now, for something completely different… Moonbeam Rays! Lovely song that mostly helped me get into the mood of how beautiful this whole moment was, you know… I might be wrong about when exactly that was, but I got seriously close to crying once more during the show, and it’d be probably a fair guess to say that it was sometime during this song. And afterwards, we got some more insights from Flansburgh.

JF: This is the last show of the Flood show thing. (audience makes a sad “oooooh” sound) Yeah, it’s a little bit sad… it’s a little bit *excellent!* (audience laughs)

And then the Johns started talking about how they “started doing this pre-pandemic…” And it delighted me SO MUCH that they pointed this out because I could never get over how the Flood anniversary tour started when the album turned 30, and at the time of the last show of the tour it was two months away from turning 35!!

JF: It’s taken more years to celebrate the anniversary of Flood than it took to *make* Flood.

But as Flansburgh said, it was time to move on to some other, less popular things… And also he shared with us that he walked through a beautiful part of London today, wondering how it would feel to have enough money to “belong there”. Linnell said that he was resting up for the big flight, and that he was actually resting up for it RIGHT NOW.

JF: There’s nothing John Linnell likes more than a *paid rehearsal*.

JL: It’s a sweet ride… When you get to be *this* age…

JF: Nothing matters at all.

JL: Every day above ground is beautiful.

If you ask me, that last sentence deserves to be immortalized as one of the most iconic stage banter moments, and in a way it already has, because it inspired this wonderful piece of art, and who knows what else.

The following songs were Letterbox (and a short break from singing from me, because that song is already impossible to follow with, and then you add all the excitement of the moment and it’s impossible impossible) and Twisting!!! This started a long series of songs where the moment it starts I get super excited because I KNOW this song is a huge deal and a favourite but it takes me at least a couple of seconds to get to WHY this is a huge moment… through remembering and recognizing the song. And AAHHHH this song was so amazing, the bridgeeee, and then also the extra outro with the guitar solo and all, the energy!!! God, it truly is incomparable. And I totally didn’t expect that outro so that made it all an even better time.

And so we were well into the Flood songs segment, because next up was another of my top favourites from the album, Someone Keeps Moving My Chair! And another wonderful sing-along moment, but honestly, which of all these songs was not… (other than Letterbox, but that was just because of my lack of practice with that one). Chanting the title of this song, especially that one penultimate, elongated CHAAAAAAIIIIIIIR, kind of healed something in me I think.

After that was done, the Johns gave us some more insights into the performer’s life and all the things that they’ll never get used to, such as crowds that continue beyond your line of sight.

JF: …So you sort of think like: “I gotta get these people going, I gotta rock these people…” And then it’s like: (said in a silly, high-pitched voice) “But there’s no end!...”

Flansburgh remarked on the special challenge that they had come across this time, which was that we were all in a circular room, which is exciting, but means that people continue past where the stage is…

JF: I hope you guys got your tickets on Stubhub or something. I mean, can you even see us? I can barely see *you*. In a hockey match this would be unacceptable.

Another thing that Linnell would never get used to was when there’s a huge crowd of people, all of them happy and singing along, but then there’s one guy “who’s got this sort of Charles Manson expression”. This one really made ALL the people laugh. The Charles Manson guy included I hope.

JL: Never got used to that! For some reason.

JF: Tomorrow: Get. Linnell.

(JL pretends to be writing something down)

JL (addressing the audience): Not to put any ideas in your mind…

But moving on, as I said it was more Flood time indeed, with Whistling In The Dark. Me calling each single song amazing and a blast and so much fun is probably already getting a bit repetitive by now, so one special point of interest with this one and its live version is when near the end we get this little vocals only moment and then the horns come in again, then joined by everything else with such fanfare… simply triumphant.

Also, maybe this is a good moment to say that man, on one hand thinking about this show and how I’m going to hear THE ACCORDION was always a huge deal, but even then, I wasn’t prepared for how cool the accordion really is in person. It sounds kind of different from what I’m used to from recordings, and definitely makes a heck of a great impression all in all. One could wonder why it’s not more popular in rock music, because really, just how amazing is it?? And it can create all sorts of moods.. which is something I’m just about to get into properly too. Also, speaking of horns, Flansburgh gave a special shout out to the horns at this point, and began to introduce the next song.

JF: This next song is called The D-... uh, I forgot what it’s called, but… (JL laughs)

Even if it weren’t for this slip-up with the name, I already could tell from how Flansburgh went back to talk about how this was a song put together by Stan Harrison and introduced all the guys individually… That *IT* was in fact happening, one of my biggest hopes when it comes to songs I wanted to hear in person the most. The Darlings Of Lumberland - THE horns song to beat them all. And at this point I had to get my camera ready and start recording because well, this would definitely be one of the most preservation-worthy and outstanding moments of the show.

I was not mistaken of course, the way all the instruments complement each other here, most importantly the horns and the accordion, is something beautiful. This is one of the best examples of how the studio version just sounds so WEIRD to me now, even though it’s been my big favorite for a long time in that form as well. All in all a hypnotising moment, and coming back to my earlier question, maybe THIS was the only other song that you don’t really sing along to, because you have to just. Take it all in. Soooo much going on. And yes, no less important, THE CHOREOGRAPHY - *EVERYONE* did the hand thing!!! So you know, another good reason to have this one specifically caught on film.

Anyway, I was going to put my phone down for the time being but THEN... could it be, another of my top wished-for songs?? Cause yeah, without a pause we got the one and only screaming introduction to Let Me Tell You About My Operation from Flansburgh and oh boy, is this yet another song I could talk for many minutes about. First of all, I had very very high hopes for one of, what I think is often referred to as, Flansburgh showman moments. So, songs such as this one, Lie Still, Little Bottle, She’s Actual Size, and a couple others.

This song is a whole new story live, alright. Again, you have to be there to really get what it’s all about I think. JF’s energy is very infectious and awesome here to put it just mildly, and the horns add a whole lot, the whole song is just one big moment of old-timey big band-style musical bliss. And then there is also time to shine for all the other guys in the band, with awesome solos from Dan and Marty (ok, it appears that there was no special Danny time though?? Sad), AND the horns on the horns. Also Linnell doing this sort of thing on the keyboard where he plays all the notes quickly, sort of sliding down or up all the keys… Ok, I looked it up, I think that’s called glissando? So yeah, that also stuck in my head especially, because it was so fun. One of the top 5 moments of the show, without a doubt.

And now, alright, When Will You Die? is not a song that ever struck me as much of a favourite, besides being a very outstandingly hilarious and real song when it comes to lyrics of course, but I can’t lie and say that I wasn’t very happy to hear this one too. Singing these lyrics in a room full of hundreds of people who did the same was an incredibly grand moment, ok.

And then… then we were met with the haunting sounds of the intro of Road Movie To Berlin. A song that’s still, even after dozens of relistens, a whole experience each time I hear it when listening to Flood, and, as you might expect, it’s even more of an experience live. And I’m of course mostly talking about this whole sort of breakdown section near the end, but just the whole entire thing really hits anyway.

So when it started I definitely had a little moment of “oh shit, here we go, THE moment is here…”. Something akin to this happened over and over during the whole show obviously, but still, I feel like it was especially big here. Another thing is how later my friend laughed that they once again felt like they were the only person singing the secret third verse. Well, at least one more person did (me). Anyway, all in all it was just, magical, truly.

So, uh. Now, enjoy some top-notch banter that followed.

JL: So, uh, what’s going on here.

JF: We’re in London, John.

JL: We’re in London, we’re doing songs from Flood.

JF: We’re in yet another circular building.

JL: Right.

(a moment of silence)

JF: We’re doing songs from Flood. This is one of them.

(some people in the audience make clearly audible “wooo” noises)

JL: We get to woo.

(people laugh and woo even louder)

JL: There’s this thing in Britain where people get creative with the interactive thing. And it’s kind of good and it’s kind of, like… it worries us. The drunken part of it. It’s a problem.

(someone in the audience laughs in a very pronounced drunken manner)

Ok, Women And Men, that was the next song. Not much to say about this one to be honest, or like, anything at all really. And then more Flood, in the form of Your Racist Friend, which totally rocked, and we, I mean WE specifically, had the pleasure of standing where we could enjoy how Jordan Katz played his trumpet solo right in front of us. Honestly, this was kind of the only major downside of standing where we stood, that the horns were kind of hidden from our view for the most part… So this was a GRAND moment.

I have found that no matter how many times I watch recordings of it, the way Stellub gets introduced at these shows is always extremely funny to me, so here’s, like, almost all of how that went this time.

JF: Folks, we’ve got a very special treat for you right now. When we first embarked on doing these Flood shows, we thought: what can we do to make the show a little more challenging, a little more of… an endurance test. So we thought, we’ll take the time out to learn a song *sonically in reverse*...

(a long pause prompting audience laughter)

JF: …present it to the crowd… who might not enjoy that. (audience laughs) But then, we’re going to record it, on our very special fancy video recording machine, and we’re going to reverse the tape, and present it to you at the top of the second set, which will be… *pure entertainment*.

(audience laughs and woos. claps, also)

JF: …so think of the next two and a half minutes as a *musical investment in your future* (audience, well, laughs). If you brought friends here, we understand; they might be looking at you, going: “WHY?” (audience laughs some more) “Why this, why now? Life is complicated enough, why do bands *insist* on performing songs in reverse?”. But I can assure you, it’s a huge payoff. Especially if the machine works.

At this point I should give a shoutout to my uninitiated brother, who is not a fan of TMBG and whom I sort of dragged along with me here, although well, he did agree to this whole thing (besides the standing in the rain for two hours. He says that’s the part that he didn’t need to experience but well, what could *I* possibly do about that). Because he told me later that yes, the song in reverse thing was pretty cool. Well, I guess I could say as much anyway from how he definitely seemed very amused by Flansburgh’s introduction. But he also told me that if they didn’t say anything about this song being played in reverse, he wouldn’t even be able to tell, because it didn’t sound all that different from all the other songs. So I guess that answers my question of how newcomers may perceive TMBG’s lyrics, in a way. At least in the live show environment. It must be a lot to take in at once.

But anyway, the Johns joked about this whole thing some more (and how the screen was unusually huge for them and had this whole sort of 70s delay effect) and Linnell informed us that he would kick one of his shoes off at the end of the song and that we would also see THAT backwards.

JL: It’s just gonna be CRAZY! It’s gonna look… can’t even describe it.

JF (in silly gruff voice): Tonight! On video tape!

So, Sapphire Bullets Of Pure Love. You know, it’s just yet another of those things where I’ve been awaiting THIS MOMENT, IN REAL LIFE for so long. Very fun and at this point I sometimes even feel like I might be more familiar with the reversed sound of this song than the original… Like, it comes to mind more often. “stiiiiillub rah-fahs”, “stosh-nog, stosh-lut-sip” and similar phrases followed me around for days after the show. And I love how expressive the Johns are during this song, it’s just this whole theatricality of it that makes it very funny and awesome.

My favourite moment was when, in spirit of, well, all of this being performed in reverse, Marty also did the counting down to the start of the song with his drumsticks, but at the end. I read later that Linnell also used to sometimes instruct the audience to applaud before they start playing the song and damn, I wish he still did that because that's just hilarious.

And could this really be… the last song of the first set already - Brontosaurus. One thing about this song is that I used to not care about it much, until I saw a recording of their first live performance of it all the way back sometime around the end of 2022 / beginning of 2023, when I just about cried from the wonder of it all. This song is just a whole new thing live, in huge part thanks to the horns of course. Cathartic maybe is the right word for it. One of those songs that I could be pretty much 100% sure I would hear on this day but even despite that, when it actually came to it… Very very beautiful moment. Maybe this is when I almost cried again actually? Well, there were many contenders.

Set 2

So as you just read here, there was an abundance of stuff in the first set already that had me all like “this is the BEST!!!”, yet… We had this little moment of doubt with my friend, because: a) they were hoping to still hear at least a couple of songs that they didn’t already hear the previous night, b) I, having “analyzed” the setlists from this leg of the tour so far, in order to assess how likely I’d be to hear some of my favs, and if there’s any logic to how they change from night to night, decided that there’s two main setlist that the band alternates between. But based on the first half of the show so far it seemed to me like this was going to be a very similar set of songs to last night’s, and out of those two variants, the one I was hoping for less than the other… It was mostly them playing Darlings today once again that made me think this.

And all in all in my head it was like, well, I’ll probably get either the show with Darlings & Lie Still, Little Bottle (+the STICK!!!) OR the show with lots of miscellaneous songs that were very high on my wishlist. So, in either case I’d be happy, but maybe a bit more happy if we got the second option here…

Anyway. What I’m saying is that, keeping all of the above in mind, and how my expectations for the second set were shaped by that… I really can’t overstate how much of an UNREAL NO WAY YOU GOTTA BE JOKING THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY HAPPENING RIGHT??? time it turned out to be.

So let’s get right into why. And boy, there’s a lot. In a way this is when this show REALLY started for me, not that what was earlier wasn’t incredibly fun and amazing already but. This was just a whole different league. It’s like, I could say that earlier I felt at moments like I’m sometimes transported into some alternate dimension, and from here on it was all just, being transported into that joyous alternate dimension for the whole duration of the show. The TMBG dimension. I’ll get back to this, but being here was really just something like, a different type of existence, so different from the often bleak daily life that I’ve been way too familiar with until then.

One thing that sort of added once again to this whole “it’s all perfectly falling into place” feeling, even before the show started up again, was how I tried to pay attention to the intermission music again, and remembered from my days of watching many live show recordings in late 2022 how someone pointed out that when this one specific song plays, you can tell that the show will start in just a moment. And yeah, they were right. Girl Don’t Come started playing so I knew…

And so the second set started with the reversed recording of the Stellub performance of course (how many times have they performed it by that point? Over a hundred? But yeah, it was scarily accurate, as always), and the alternate version of Hearing Aid with this whole little animation thing, which was also a lot of fun to watch actually.

And so the band was back for the second round… with Memo To Human Resources! So I’d known for a while that this song has been a pretty oft played one recently, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen any recordings of it live? And to be honest my memory of this song is really blurry, so it’s still kind of an enigmatic moment to me now, all in all I’m sure though that it must have hit the same way Moonbeam Rays or Brontosaurus did, and that might explain this whole effect it presumably had on me, heh.

And now, ok. Man, It’s So Loud In Here will never ever feel the same way to me again. Because actually nothing could have prepared me for how amazing it was live. And I didn’t even particularly anticipate this one, but when we got to it… I knew already that it was going to be a blast.

I remember thinking that this is one of those moments that you simply can’t capture in any way, you’re just fully here in the moment and you live it there and remember it forever. I was also thinking about the meaning of the song, about this classic TMBG fashion of singing this song in this huge room full of people, a song about how it’s so loud in here. And I was wondering if that’d be another of those little confusing moments for people unfamiliar with TMBG because yes, I suppose it’s pretty silly… On top of being an incredible and actually moving experience. I’m shedding a tear just thinking about it all now.

So now, more Flood time! Minimum Wage, a song that, per Linnell’s words, they’ve been playing “for 40 years”...

JL: …And we just got to the point where we all end at exactly the same time. We had so much integrity for so long… And now we’re just sleek… robots up here.

JF: Yeah, that AI showbusiness stuff. Nobody likes it - you gotta do it, you know. It’s the way people DO IT!

JL: I’ve got six fingers…. (JL demonstrates how he has six fingers, apparently)

JF: Yeah, yeah… (with emphasis) *AI*.

(long pause prompting audience laughter)

JF: It makes its own punchline!

But um, what was next on the agenda (John)? More songs from the Flood album, oh yes! Let’s give the people some more of what they want!

JL: That feisty… that album by that bunch of maverick… young… rulebreakin’... (pause) But those days are gone.

JF: Well, the one thing that remains is the barricade putting eight feet between us and the front row. That’s the important thing. The distance.

JL: And you know, it’s not for *our* protection, it’s for *yours*.

Alright, so here’s another song. Here’s another song from Flood. And that song is We Want A Rock. What I remember the most about this one is, once again, the beauty of being able to sing these “ridiculous lyrics” when everyone else is doing the same thing, when we’re all singing about how everyone wants a rock to wind a string around and about how everyone wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads but someone in this town is trying to burn the foreheads down. At some point I just couldn't help having a little laugh over the joy of it all. And also, *boom boom boom* “ooooOOOOOOH!!” *boom boom boom* “oooooOOOOOOH!!”

Then it was Marty time, starting with the drum intro and the BUZZER, for it’s time for Hot Cha! Which becomes even more of a blast with the HORNS of course, and at the very end, can you believe it, I forgot that they change the last line of the song to “please come home” live, so I was slightly taken aback by that. Yes, that’s important to mention here, somehow.

Flansburgh introduced the next song as a song from the Lincoln album and for some goddamned reason the only song I could think of at the moment that fit that criteria was Shoehorn With Teeth.

It was not Shoehorn With Teeth. It was the song that came back to live rotation earlier in 2024 during the spring US tour, but seemed to fall from it afterwards once again, which was a shame, because it’s like, probably my favourite TMBG song to be honest and its newest live rendition was absolutely breathtakingly amazing from what I’ve seen from recordings online. I’m not sure if I was aware by that point of how it miraculously returned as an encore at the show of the night before…

But still, this was like the biggest “this can’t be real actual and happening right now” moment of the night, and maybe. of my. entire life?? And it of course took me a couple of seconds to recognise the song STILL, besides the instant punch of that *feeling* that happened the second the song started. Yeah, Where Your Eyes Don’t Go, played live at my show just like I dreamed about, no big deal, everyday stuff, haha.

The song really IS freaking amazing live though. Where would we be without THE HORNS!!! And honestly I could say a bit more about this “fav song” situation, because not only is it of course among my most beloved ever songs at this moment and has been for over two years, I also remember distinctly that it was the FIRST TMBG song that I loved and couldn’t get enough of and replayed over and over, and it’s a big reason behind why I became a fan in the first place. So, the extra beauty of the significance of it all, it just blows my mind completely.

So, Lucky Ball And Chain was a short little break for collecting myself again, because obviously we were far from done with all the biggest wonders of the night still. And I’m not saying that the song wasn’t a good time, it of course was just like everything else here, so it’s safe to just assume that without me specifying each time. Lol.

But, as I said, the break was short. I would have put seeing Spy live somewhere at the top of my general life goals / bucket list thing, if I had one, that is. I had been very vocal about wanting to see THAT song in particular in discussions with my friend, so the excited glance we exchanged the moment this song started was absolutely priceless and a thing of pure wonder.

Anyway, we all know Spy. We all know that it’s one of the most often played live songs of theirs, and that the reason behind its live durability is the several minutes long improvised jam band section at the end. And I might be one of those maybe rare kinds of people who wouldn’t mind hearing it a hundred times more. It IS improvised after all, so… different each time, ha! It was also very vital to me that I get to take part in the audience participation segment of it… and this is also what was granted to me on this magical evening by whatever godlike forces exist above.

So yeah, this was yet another among the top 5 show moments of course… The biggest highlights here were when Linnell did this sort of old-timey speech (“THIS! Is the *sound* of the thirties. The sound of the SWING ERA!”) that’s probably a reference to something that I’m completely unfamiliar with so that only makes it funnier, and the whole audience conducting part from Flansburgh at the end, because man, he was having a total BLAST with this, it was such a joy to see. And we were all also having a great time, by doing our part and screaming as if we’re in hell. All I’m trying to say here is. I love hellish noise, I love cacophony. This is my perfect kind of show experience, I won’t be hearing any arguments about this.

Ok, so what was the next thing that the Johns prepared with the intent of dealing the biggest emotional damage imaginable to us? Well, remember how Last Wave had never been played live until earlier this year and then they never played it again. Guess what happened now. Well, that’s yet another of the huge and one of the earliest personal favourites of mine returning onto the setlist on the previous evening actually.

This song is. Augh. I just love how it has this sort of elegant, but emotional sound that kind of sets it apart. It’s a completely singular song to me in every sense and I always wondered why they never played it live, but now I’m just glad they finally started playing it. Gotta love yet another AMAZING trumpet solo from Jordan Katz and the Johns’ overdramatized delivery of the lyrics, it’s so much fun. And this song also provided us with some more epic Marty moments, especially the solo and the ending, both just like on the studio recording technically… So maybe that’s why they were so great to see recreated in real time too?

JF: I think we were all a little stunned by the majesty of the ending of that song.

Two days before the show I went to the Natural History Museum here in London, and that's actually very relevant here because when I saw the exhibit that was entitled “Mammals” in that museum, that was when the SONG Mammal started following me around in my mind, for like, most of the remaining time of that day. And I had the amazing realization that oh, it’s not impossible that I could hear this song this next Sunday, played live, so awesome!!

So yeah of course, they played Mammal next. And honestly I’m not even that attached to this song, I do still love it though and it’s one of those situations where I see myself become excited over songs that I feel like are big fan favourites and something that other people are probably very happy about hearing, heh. But maybe even more important yet is that this meant APOLLO 18 representation!! So special to me.

Now I’ll just say that it’s worth it avoiding spoilers sometimes. Like, show spoilers, because I guess I didn’t actually watch that much recent footage and so I had no idea about what other awesome fun stuff was just about to happen.

JF: Folks, folks… we’ve been informed by the people who work here that every single person in the audience tonight is carrying a silly little phone with them. And we'd like to take full advantage of that right now…

We were instructed by Flansburgh to get our phones and open our camera and set it to selfie mode! And then Turn Around, Turn Around, (there’s a thing there that can be found)…

JF: We can see you now and I can tell that nobody is doing what I’m talking about.

You know, so this is when you get to live that wonder of actually BEING THERE once more. And enjoy the way that specifically TMBG shows are, because I’ll be real, I can’t think of any other concert where I could see something like this happening.

JF: Everybody, spin around for just a little bit, get a selfie and we’re gonna photobomb your selfie.

JL: Which we tried to do last night and nobody was getting it!

JF (interrupting): That’s not true! On social media you’re gonna see some very good evidence that some people got together over the course of the twenty minutes we dedicated to this portion of the show.

So yeah, now I can even keep on living my life knowing that I technically have a photo with my favourite musicians in the world. Definitely not something I expected to gain after this day.

JF: We’re gonna take a lot of time doing this. This is possibly the least important thing we’ll be working on…

So that was awesome!!! BUT WAIT THERE WAS MORE!!!!!!

JF: Ok folks, this the second part of the test: see if you can find the flashlight portion of your phone - the more traditional rock portion.

That “more traditional rock portion” part must have been lost on me then, because this was still a singular moment to me (I haven’t been to many live shows before this anyway), and I could only really think of one other thing that this immediately reminded me of. I like yearning for all sorts of things, including those that are in the past now and that I never even could have had a real chance of participating in. Such as the Hollywood Bowl show in 2023, where TMBG opened for Sparks, and during the Sparks show and the song All That everyone in the audience took out their phones and there was this whole sea of lights, people swaying with their phone torches to that song. So, yes, I was NOT expecting either that I’d get to experience THIS as well. After all.

At first I wasn’t even aware that all the stage lights had been turned off for the next song, because with all those torches facing the stage it was so bright in here!! And the song that got this special treatment was Dead - very fitting I must say. The large procession waved their torches AND sang, and I can hear it on the recording of this song especially that the audience was really into the singing part. Loud and beautiful and touching to be there.

And then it was time to thank the band, since the end of the show was actually drawing closer and closer, as absurd as it may have seemed to think about… (not that there was really time to stop and think about that anyway). And I think the Johns did some sort of jab at Elektra Entertainment here, but I unfortunately couldn’t catch what they were saying, rip. Anyway, it must have been very funny I’m sure.

So what songs could possibly still be left and ahead of us now? Two more songs from Flood, here we go.

Why is the world in love again? Because it's time to be marching hand in hand and singing Theme From Flood! And once again being reminded of how WE'RE ALL HERE TOGETHER. All in all, the moment of this song, and it going right into Birdhouse In Your Soul, yes, that was just as ethereal and unreal as I imagined it would be. Even now, as I'm thinking back to it, I start to feel overwhelmed with the excitement, how I was just sort of going “YES YES YES!!!” in my head, after the “I'm your only friend” bit, when it gets kind of quiet for a second and it starts up again we're all jumping and cheering. I could only try to picture an approximation of this scene in my mind months earlier, so thinking about how this actually happened is still absolutely surreal to me. There's just nothing else like Birdhouse.

…

Damn it, I still have a bit more of the show to write about, it’s not the time for tears, brother.

I didn’t want the song to end and it almost seemed like the band didn’t either, because Linnell kept singing the “soul” at the end for several more seconds and also making it goofier still.

Encores time

End of show? No, two encores now. The encore waiting and clapping time until the band comes back on stage felt much much shorter than it always did when I watched recordings of shows. Shouldn't be surprising but everything here felt like it took 10% of the time it actually lasted.

So it was time for the most wondrous thing, a John and John only performance as a duo! This wasn't a total surprise to me, because I knew they switched up the way they play this particular song once again, on some nights at least, but I couldn't be sure that I'd be blessed enough to witness it myself too… And here it was, about to happen!!!

People were screaming Istanbul a lot. I could’ve been easily more annoyed by that, but you know what, I think this is necessary too. How could this be a REAL concert experience without a bunch of presumably drunk people shouting out the titles of songs and being annoying. Maybe if one of those people was standing close to us I'd be talking differently, but… It's part of the charm, sorry.

It was in fact Istanbul (Not Constantinople) time. I’ll be honest, if it weren’t for the duo format I would have not cared for this song any more than I did for Particle Man. But it turned out to be one of my favourite things on this show, yeah, this evening subverted so many expectations in every sense, alright.

You could argue about the significance of the duo format here because OMG, it’s just like in the old days!!!! The good old days or whatever. But no, it’s also just… I don’t know. Even to me, who obviously hasn’t known TMBG for that long, it was another of those kind of touching moments. And what made it all even better was when soon after this show, I happened to watch a video of a Flood show… from 1990. Like wow, this really is kind of just like the 1990 duo days. EXCEPT it’s much cooler now actually.

I didn’t record this song but definitely would have if our view for it was better. Well, thankfully someone else took care of that anyway. And I think that instead of me trying to describe it here, everyone should just do themselves a favour and watch it. I can't get over how beautifully unserious and funny this performance was, watching that must have been the most fun I've had in a looooong time. Again, top 5 moments of the night, maybe top 3 even.

Now, what were the funniest bits. “Peoplejustpeoplejustpeoplejust…” and the Get In The Car bit. And the “yeeeeeees”. And the “noooooo”. And the “istanbuuuuuuul…. ouuuuu…. oouuuuuu…”. You get it, right.

Can’t Keep Johnny Down was the second song of the encore and this performance is the only reason why this song suddenly became like, a literal favorite. The power of live shows! Now whenever I hear it I'm just like. OOOOOH Johnny. Save me Johnny, save me.

Linnell told us “thanks so much, you guys are great!” before they all left the stage :) And of course there was still one more song that I had to hear today. So after more clapping and cheering they were back on stage again.

JL: Yes! Thanks a million. No! Two million! (in a bit of a jokey voice) …I’ve never thanked that much before.

And you know what, I choose to believe that he meant it.

The last song of the night was Doctor Worm. I don’t know what else I can say about this song now, just that upon relistening to this whole show again I’m realizing that I could just. call this song kind of a perfect live song. Maybe I associate it with live shows more than anything else since it's not featured on any studio album and I've definitely heard it wayyyy more times in the form of live recordings than the studio version. And also maybe I lied that Synopsis haunted me the most after the show, Doctor Worm must have been even more insistent in that sense, and I had no issue with that honestly.

And so, with the last one “They call me Dooctooor WOOOOOORM!!” and a finishing BWAAAAA from the horns, the show was over.

After the show

Don’t worry, there’s much less to talk about now in terms of the after show stuff compared to before the show. Just this one important thing that, yet again, as if this wasn’t ENOUGH ALREADY…!!! We had to hang out by the stage for a bit longer still, because there’s a chance of ending up with a SETLIST. Or a drumstick. But I guess the setlist was more important.

And Marty walked over to us. And handed us the setlist. I mean, it was my friend who grabbed the setlist, but to me that was just like we all were chosen, it really didn't matter to me who actually had it. So it was a win! I really couldn’t ask for anything else by that point. I got it all.

Then we had to wait for a bit by the merch stand because lots of folks gathered there and thankfully, there was still lots of stuff to choose from! I would have loved to go a bit more crazy with this maybe, but since I still had to keep in mind having to travel back with all this stuff, flying, customs and all that… I settled for a tour shirt, because yeah, a shirt with the dates of the tour I ATTENDED printed on it? I needed that, that would do as the only physical souvenir even, no need for anything more (well, I actually did get a bit more, because the very next day I went by a random record store here in Camden Town in hopes of finding THE album somewhere in London still. and guess what I found….., but that’s a whole different story so let me just limit myself to only the day of the show in this post). The shirt is a total slay by the way, I love the burgundy color.

After we left the venue we still managed to bump into more folks going back from the concert. And like 3 different people in total who asked us about the setlist and where we arrived from, said that woooow, you deserve to have it then. Thank you people for also appreciating all the hard work that went into this.

My brother & I had a very short way back to our hotel now, so in the end it really felt like we just returned from a quick little fun event just down the street. Even though we travelled pretty far to get here, you know. So it didn't even feel like some huge endeavour or anything all that unusual, and I mean that in the best way possible.

So my day ended with my head full of thoughts and images and fragments of songs looped ad nauseam. And also with an aching back and no energy left in me to stand for even one more minute. The tiredness was very real but I must say that tired-happy might be one of the best emotions / states one could have to deal with. I hope I can do all of this again someday, because I’m actually so serious that I wouldn’t mind going to a TMBG show every other evening if I could. That’s the dream actually.

Miscellaneous T(houghts) time

Ok, I swear I’m almost done. Just a couple general / finishing observations about the show as a whole now.

● First of all, I want to come back for a bit to that TMBG dimension thing. Because this whole thing really was sort of like entering some sort of different mode of existing. The Johns are very funny guys and the whole band’s energy is extremely infectious, but I also think it’s a very special thing how their stage presence creates this whole atmosphere that’s just completely laid-back and fun in the purest form of fun. Even when there’s a big crowd and we’re in an “important” venue. Because you sort of really feel at home, like you’re exactly where you belong. And earlier I could imagine it being more like, oh the stakes are so high, because this is THE EVENT, finally. And in reality this was the most relaxed I’ve felt in a very long time. And I was almost painfully aware of how I was watching it all with sparkly eyes, hoping that it’s maybe not too obvious because waaaah, embarrassing, it’s not like I’m having the best time ever right now or anything, please.

● However, all of the above definitely had a lot to do with how the audience was at the show, and I was just really surprised by how very awesome the audience's energy was. Like I could imagine it being maybe less enthusiastic after all because uh well, maybe a lot of people actually could be here more for Flood and Birdhouse and all that rather than the actual band… Shouldn’t have underestimated this fanbase, because the audience was so responsive to everything and just made it feel even more like the explosion of joy it really was. And I really felt like I was with *my* people, and, especially when it’s a huge group like this.. that’s very rare and special to me.

● I’ve discovered that in TMBG dimension time isn’t real because I swear, when the first set was coming to a close, I felt like maybe only 20 minutes passed and we’ve only heard maybe 6 songs so far, instead of the actual. 17 songs. 17?? damn, that's a lot of songs. I actually haven’t counted them until now. And it was 33 songs in total, 36 if you add the intros and reversed Stellub, huh!

● You people weren’t lying about the Linnell stare. Actually, related to this, another worry I sort of had before this was that should I end up close to the stage, I might feel too awkward about being possibly perceived by the band in any way to truly enjoy myself. But that actually wasn’t the case at all, not counting like a couple of moments only where I’d make maybe-imaginary, maybe-real eye contact with someone from the band and have to look way fast because noooo, don’t perceive me actually, lol.

● And again, you people weren’t lying either that these guys have unbelievable amounts of energy that make you feel like an old man who can barely stand for a couple hours in comparison. This is coming from a 23-year-old, maybe not the most athletic person in the world, but still. Also, Marty really is the guy of all time, loved watching his antics. And one more special shoutout to the Tricerachops Horns, because yes, these songs I’ve loved for a while already CAN get even better and simply epic and beautiful.

All in all, best show ever! Honestly, I don’t know if any other show could possibly top this. I would be very happy to be proven wrong of course, especially if that were to happen because of another TMBG show. Thank you Johns and everyone else for this evening, it was a dream come true and I’ll never forget how out of this world and amazing it was!!

[itwillbeourswansong]

That was a challenge for me, honestly! I had to do the research on my own personality to complete this😅 but finally, here we are. Thank you for tagging me @varda-starqueen 🫂🧡 And it was so exciting to read about you guys, who posted your answers. So many times I thought literally "are you me, bestie?" 😁

What's origin of your blog title?

It's the name of one of my all-time favorite Lana Del Rey songs Swan Song

Favorite fandoms: Lord of the Rings/ Rings of Power and Star Wars. And I'm likely to become a Black Sails fandom resident too!

OTP(s)+shipname : mostly self-shipper. I'm also not immune to Adariel. But in terms of art and fics it's more about how captivating the plot and writing are, e.g. Adar×Brimby in Of Convenience by @greenleaf4stuff

Favorite color: black in many things, sky-blue too. And everything that sparkles!✨️

Favorite game : Monopoly, Dixit now, and oh gawd did my brother and me played a LOT of GTA and Need for Speed when we were kids

Song stuck in your head now : generally I am Lana Del Rey girlie, but I've been stuck with Middle Of the Night by Elley Duhe (it was in one of the Adar's video edits and now I have on repeat).

Weirdest habit/trait: I kinda cannot help to interfere whenever I see any unfairness, or when I feel I know better. And I know that it's not always good. I try to differentiate more carefully where to stick my nose and when to mind my own business.

Hobbies: Jeez I do love movies and before I became a mom, I'd used to go to see almost everything on screen. Also I love theater, reading, cooking and traveling.

If you work what is your profession? I manage projects and teams in software development. It implies plently of everyday communication, mitigating complicated situations and sometimes "babysitting" grown-ups in my teams. It leaves me with exhausted social battery at the end of working week, but in general I like my job.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I once worked in an agency organizing various entertainment events and concerts, I loved it. And maybe I'd try something in cooking.

Something you're good at: I think I'm not that bad at what I do in my current job - communicating, helping others to resolve problems, mitigating. Also planning trips (hope to do it more!)

Something you are bad at : driving - jfc, I want to learn to drive with more confidence! And sometimes I feel I fail to protect my personal borders with some people, then I silently loath myself for ages over such situations...

Something you excel at : maybe nurturing my anxiety?😅 And cooking huge lasagna and cheesecake for the whole family.. but that would be pretty much it.

Something you love : my daughter and my family, cosy quite time at home, summer walks in a forest, traveling to the seaside, listening to music and reading. And sure this loveliest community of Adarlings🖤🖤🖤

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: about my favorite movies and books, discussing characters, theories and possible scenarios

Something you hate : those who govern my country and made me flee my home, injustice and violence

Something you collect: other from my crushes to daydream of? Perfumes and travel destinations

Something you forget : to care more about my mental and physical health

What's your love language : cooking stuff for them? And mothering them I guess, which doesn't always works the best way. Guess we should let others take care of ourselves too..

Favorite movie/show: oh there are so many.. for shows I'm now crossing the equator with Black Sails and hell yeah I do recommend it! S 1 AND 2 of Mandalorian are my fav, as well as Andor. And Mad Men all time favorite! Movies just top of my endless list: Interstellar, 5th Element, House of Flying Daggers

Favorite food : my mom's Napoleon cake, creme brulet dessert, cheeseburger and lost off fresh veggies

Favorite animal: this one is easy for me - cats

Are you musical : I cannot survive a day without my favorite music. Sometimes I sing to myself when I'm alone or with my daughter. I wish I could play the piano or the guitar, but it's never too late, right?

What were you like a child? Very-very shy, but also a first daughter and first granddaughter, only sister to brother and cousins, so kinda hardened by this..

Favorite subject at school: English language, History, Art

Least favorite subject? Math and Physics

What's your best character trait? Dare to believe I'm compassionate and loyal

What's your worst character trait? I am often lazy and procrastinating

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? Less sceentime, more productivity

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? I would to go to Michael Jackson's concert

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

A Knife in the Dark by @baddybaddyadardaddy

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59206912

A Brush with ...Kindness by @elronds-meleth-nin

https://www.tumblr.com/elronds-meleth-nin/762639947663589376/a-brush-withkindness?source=share

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!): ALL ADAR FANART NOW

I see my mutuals tagged before so I won't tag again🫶 but if anyone would want to share their answers - this would be most welcomed 🧡🧡🧡

Get to know your Mutuals

Thanks for the tag @perlen-gold, even though I’m just an unhinged follower obsessed with your writing 🙈 I started my own chain so your original post wouldn’t get too long.

What's the origin of your blog's title? My thirst for Adar and the gauntlet kink he inspired.

Favorite Fandoms: I have a lot, but The Silmarillion/The Lord of the Rings/The Rings of Power are my main ones I always fall back on.

OTP(s) + shipname: I’m a self shipper so me + whomever I’m obsessed with (currently Melkor, Adar, and Gil-galad) but also more recently:

Melkor x Mairon (Angbang)

Adar x Celebrimbor (Silverscars)

Favorite color: Orange (also partial to purple and dark green).

Favorite game: Hero Quest (I’m not a console gamer. Though I did enjoy watching my husband play Horizon Zero Dawn).

Song stuck in your head: Dog Days (Are Over) by Florence and The Machine.

Weirdest habit/trait? Oh boy, where to begin… I make random noises, I meep like Beaker to songs, laugh at my own jokes… I’m just a weird person altogether folks.

Hobbies: Writing, visiting places of historical interest, I also used to be an avid reader but then motherhood robbed me of my energy and concentration. I listen to audiobooks more now.

If you work, what's your profession? I write scientific reports and run data tables for an Early Drug Development CRO, which is as fun as it sounds. I’m also a mother. Everything you’ve heard about motherhood is true and also a lie.

If you could have any job you wish what would it be? I would be rich enough not to need to work 🤷🏻‍♀️ or working on a petting farm would be cute.

Something you're good at: Berating myself. Encouraging others/being a cheerleader. Also writing, I hope 🙈

Something you're bad at: Most things, but especially anything requiring mathematics or physical exercise.

Something you excel at: Being a silly goose 😏thirsting over fictional characters 🙈 and raging at injustices. Erm, I think that’s about it. How tragic for me 😂

Something you love: The community I’ve found here on Tumblr 🫶🏼 period dramas, Dracula, and tattoos (I have none of my own… yet).

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: Mormonism, The Wars of the Roses, the people I love.

Something you hate: Injustice, mayonnaise, and corsets improperly portrayed in period drama.

Something you collect: Cuddly toy bats, and more characters to thirst over (I need help).

Something you forget: That motherhood is difficult so to give myself more grace.

What's your love language? I don’t adhere to love languages, but I guess genuine connection over similar interests, banter/in-jokes.

Favorite movie/show: Aaahhh don’t make me choose! It’s always changing.

Favorite food: Galaxy Cookie Crumble, Mini Eggs, Yorkshire puddings, and pizza.

Favorite animal: Bats 🦇

Are you musical? I can hold a tune and I played flute as a kid, otherwise sadly no.

What were you like as a child? Intelligent, saw everything in black and white, more artistic, more outgoing.

Favorite subject at school? History and art.

Least favorite subject? Maths and PE.

What's your best character trait? I like to think I’m kind and understanding.

What's your worst character trait? I can be so incredibly lazy.

If you could change any detail of your day right now what would it be? More sleep. Always more sleep.

If you could travel in time who would you like to meet? Bram Stoker. I’d also love to meet my mum as a young woman, I think we would have had fun.

Recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love!):

Come by @perlen-gold (Angbang)

Of Convenience by @greenleaf4stuff (Silverscars)

Last but not least, show your favorite fanart of your favorite character(s) (please remember to credit/add links!):

Melkor/Morgoth

Adar

Gil-Galad (TROP)

No pressure tags for @greenleaf4stuff, @valar-did-me-wrong, @strifes13, @wowstrawberrycow, @iwanderbecauseimlost, @withallthatisleftofmyheart, @calmlyy-chaotiic, @margauxmara, @varda-starqueen, @saffronstories, @gingeragenda, @gracefallingart, @dwarveslikeshinythings, @whenimaunicorn, @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 and anyone else who would like to play! Sorry if I missed anyone.

[vynnyal]

*dumps this directly on your lawn* have this

[unriding]

good morning friends!! i am wishing you all the loveliest monday ever :] i have two beverages this morning so i am .. sliding you … either one … !!! and also wishing that all of you are more awake than me today (_ _ ) ⊹ ࣪ ˖ i feel so disconnected from reality …. it took me so long just to type this … zzzz ….

[phoenixyfriend]

I try not to make a lot of original posts on topics I don't actually have any expertise on, but I haven't seen a whole lot of posts going around that actually... explain what happened and why? Like, the actual order of events, the history, and so on. I want to reblog reference posts and explanations by people who actually know what they're talking about, but I haven't seen anything that hits the buttons I need to actually get a political situation... but I have seen some stuff on other platforms.

So here are some videos I've personally found useful in understanding Israel-Palestine, because that's the format I've found most useful in processing information of this nature:

Why Israel was Originally Attacked from RealLifeLore (explains the decades of political dynamics, internal demographic tensions, and power shifts leading up to the current conflict; notably the best I've seen at actually explaining what 'Israeli Occupation' actually means)

Israel-Hamas War: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO) (commentary on the actual current situation in terms of who's getting attacked, why, and what the international ramifications so far are)

What's Happening in Israel and Why with Nathan Thrall from Adam Conover, series Factually (a discussion with an on-the-ground journalist about what life was like on the ground for Palestinian people in the areas under Israeli control during the last few years, just up to the attacks themselves)

I'm not going to claim these are comprehensive or completely unbiased (there are a few moments where I'm not entirely sure of the bias levels myself), but for people like myself who came into all this unsure of what the actual situation even is, I think these are a solid set to build up an basic understanding from which to put together opinions on future information.

I can't tell anyone what to think about how or why any of this is happening. I can only really tell you that what's going on right now is a crime on the level of attempted genocide, and that the years leading up to that have been an absolute mess on almost all fronts.

Again, I have no expertise on this subject. I just know what kind of video essay, political commentary, and interview style makes things understandable to me, personally, and might work for others. Please be courteous and kind in the comments and tags, as I am only sharing this because I haven't seen such a resource making the rounds yet, not actually trying to sway anyone in a particular direction beyond "the mass death needs to stop."

If you know of similar, relatively unbiased* resources, feel free to share.

* By 'relatively unbaised,' I don't mean taking or not taking a side; I just mean that it doesn't try to hide some information or other in favor of pushing a narrative, doesn't try to generalize a population, or doesn't seem to be trying to use emotional gut reactions to get readers or viewers to jump past reason or compassion.

[customizablefriend]

My true self still loves Tommyinnit I am still an inniter at heart I have not changed