#I have the beginnings of a fic in my Google docs

[walmart-miku]

wake up babe new crane wives song just dropped

[wistfulwatcher]

do you mind telling me a bit of your writing process?

DAY 1: Have a piece of dialogue shoot through my brain like an arrow while in the shower. Let the scene play out as I rush to finish so I can get to a computer and write it down. Lose half of the conversation as I trip my way down the stairs and over dogs, and commit everything else I can remember while my hair dries stupidly in my head towel and I shiver because I'm wet and nearly naked and sitting in front of a fan I can't spare 2 seconds to turn off. Force myself to stop and go to work. DAY 1, 2 HOURS LATER: Have another half dozen bean bags of dialogue and prose pummel me as I try to be a productive member of society. Jot them down sloppily in my phone notes app. Go back to fill in between the snippets with a rough summary of what needs to occur between points A and B in brackets. Realize I just blew my entire lunch break hunched over my phone. My stomach is growling, I've missed 5 calls.

DAY 1, 8 HOURS LATER: Done with work, open up Google Docs and load my notes app snippets into it. Arrange the snippets into chronological order. Now too tired to actually write, go to sleep.

DAY 2: Get up early. Take the dogs out. Get coffee in my Be The Cat Grant of Whatever You Do special writing mug. Sit down in comfy chair with lots of sunlight. Open new Google Doc and write from the beginning of the fic, mostly ignoring the snippets and cleaning it up from my memory. Get nearly an hour in before work. Plan to continue the streak after that night. DAY 2, THAT NIGHT: Too exhausted. Do not continue streak. Plan to get up early again and lean into early morning energy to write. DAY 3: Oversleep. Dogs demand a loooong morning walk. Special writing mug needs to be washed before I can get my coffee. When finally ready, have 20 minutes before work. Do not get computer opened, no writing occurs.

DAY 4: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 5: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 6: Do not attempt to write. Accept fate that fic will never see the light of day.

DAY 7: Hear a song lyric that reignites The Idea while working. Feel dialogue start to bubble up like boiling water. Spend half of the work day jotting down rough paragraphs into notes app. Do nothing with them later that night.

DAY 8: Wake up energized. Write for an hour and a half, picking up from day 2's progress. Mostly work from memory of snippets to rewrite it clean/better, but occasionally reference the doc.

DAY 9: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 10: Do not attempt to write for the first half of the day. Feel guilty midday. Reread snippets from notes app and think, wow, this sure has potential. Do not do anything about it.

DAY 11: Think about writing. Decide to finally respond to messages building up before writing. Should take a normal person 10 minutes, takes me 4 hours. Open Google Doc at 9pm. Think harder about writing. Do not write. Daydream, wistfully, of how nice it would be to live in a future where the fic is written. Still do not write. Go to sleep feeling like a failure.

DAY 12: Do not write in the morning, but feel guilt-free about it. In the shower, get pummeled with the next piece of The Conversation of the fic. Rush through shower to get to computer and record as much as possible, yet again.

DAY 13: Dogs let out, check. Special writing mug, check. Sunny morning and nice breeze, check. Get 30 minutes of writing in.

DAY 13, LATER: Realize one massive issue with the concept of the fic. Lose five years off of life. Decide the fic is dead. For real, this time.

DAY 14: Writing? Never heard of her. Do dishes. Halfway through load, figure out how to fix the issue. Rush to finish utensils, dry hands, make it to phone to jot down The Fix.

DAY 14, LATER: Open Google Doc. Write for an entire hour. Fic is alive once again!

DAY 15: Do not attempt to write.

DAY 16: Do not attempt to write.

Repeat days 1-16 until fic is 70% complete, at which point hole up in bedroom and ignore everyone and everything until it's done. Proofread it until 3am. Know it's a terrible idea to post exhausted. Do it anyway.

[sechsviciado]

i know its 3am and the tokyo ghoul re black reaper era was like nearly 9 years ago now but it still kills me inside everyday knowing what couldve been if ishida somehow reconnected reaperken and touka ... im not sure if it wouldve been slowburn or heartbreaking Angst but i just wish there was at least ONE interaction between the two outside of cochlea and not just right before that persona died off

[booksandberries]

the good news! i'm tired of my youtube addiction

the bad news! i'm back on fandom addictions

[newdejavuu]

.

[sincerelyneo]

hiiii will you repost your old haechan frat boy fic 🫣

i'm not sure if this is the one you were talking about, but it's the only google doc i had of haechan in a college au.

all bark no bite | l.hc

❯ summary: Lee Haechan is the most annoying man you’ve ever encountered. But that doesn’t mean you don’t find him hot; and maybe that’s why he has you flat on his mattress one night at a random frat party.

❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader

❯ genre: college!au, rivals, smut.

❯ words: 2.5k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, angst, hate sex, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex (wrap it up !), pet names, excessive use of the name ‘baby’ and ‘princess’, begging, dirty talk, reader uses she/her pronouns, haechan is very cocky, haechan 1000% has a crush on the reader.

Lee Haechan is an asshole. A condescending, irritating asshole who knows exactly how to get on your fucking nerves and—

“God — fucking — dammit—!”

— is currently the asshole pressing you against his mattress.

Truth be told, you don’t even know how you got here. You remember being shoved in a closet with him for Seven Minutes in Heaven at some random frat party his friends were throwing, but you for sure as hell remember absolutely refusing to kiss him.

“Why not?” He’d sneered, folding his arms. “You scared you’re gonna like it, Princess? Promise I’ll take real good care of you–"

"Oh, please,” you’d scoffed right back. “Let’s not pretend you know your way around a girl’s body, Hyuck. I doubt you could even find my clit–"

"I would obliterate your pussy if you’d let me, and you know it,” there was a glint in his eye as he looked you up and down, “And we both know you’d like it.”

You were so fired up that you hadn’t even noticed how close you’d gotten to each other; you could feel his breath on your lips, his chest against yours. So irritated by his cockiness, you hardly even registered what you said next until it was too late:

“You’re all bark no bite, Lee Haechan.”

For the last three years you’ve been at college, you and Haechan had both been walking on eggshells around each other. There’d always been tangible tension ever since you had shut down one of his rants in class and essentially destroyed him — and from there it’d been a competition to one-up one another. You hated him, he hated you… but doesn’t the line between hate and lust wear oh so thin when it’s someone as hot as him?

The answer is yes, evidently.

After the seven minutes we’re up, Haechan wastes no time dragging you out of the closet and to his bedroom, earning him a matter of gasps and ‘ooohhhs’ from the rest of the players.

Next thing you know, you’re lying on your stomach, hands pinned at the small of your back as he thrusts into you so deeply you swear you can feel him in your stomach. His sheets rub against your clit with every body-wrecking slap of his hips against you, your throat hoarse from screaming. And for a moment you’re really, really, really fucking sorry for even doubting his abilities so much — because God can he fuck.

But you’d never tell him that, you don’t need to. His ego is already massive, he’ll live without validation from you — or so you think.

A hand crowds underneath you, before seizing your neck and pulling you up. The shortness of breath makes you pant, pulsing around him instinctively and you hear him laugh in your ear.

Fucking asshole.

And as if he hears you, his fingers find your mouth — and you gag, because his fingers are fucking thick and he’s shoving them down your throat. And the worst part is you love it, your mouth swallowing them the minute they push past your lips like it was just instinct.

"Oh, baby,” he laughs breathlessly, “Next time you do that, make sure it’s on my dick."

"You fucking wish—” you grunt, because he’s laying into you real deep now, slow, languid thrusts that have you refraining from shuddering all over– “as if there’s going to be a next time, you dick."

"Oh?” his hips still.

Then, almost thoughtfully, they begin again. Slow and teasing and not nearly enough to have you writhing in pleasure. His pace is tortuous, and if he didn’t have your arms pinned behind you, you’d claw at his back to make him speed up.

“Really? You think one night of the best sex you’ll ever have is enough?"

"Please, your dick game isn’t that impressive,” you say flatly. “Just make me cum and get this over with.”

You feel the heat of his breath as he dips his head again, placing kisses on your jaw so gently that for a moment you’re taken aback. “Don’t get impatient now, baby. I told you I’d take care of you didn’t I? Just…” His hips still again– “I think I’d like you to ask for it.”

“Ask?” You scoff, incredulous.

He nibbles down on your ear, before brushing past it with his lips low enough to whisper, “You're right. I meant beg.”

“What, you get off on girls begging for your permission–?"

There’s a rough snap of his hips into you and you have to bite hard down on your lip to stop yourself from whimpering.

"Not just any girls,” he mutters, so quiet that you almost don’t hear. “Only you.”

You’re going to pretend that your heart doesn’t flip when he says that, partially because of how sick it is that that gets you off, and instead focus on what the fuck is going on.

Did Lee Haechan just admit he wants you to beg for him? The same man who’d made it his college mission to torment and tease you at every given opportunity wants you.

If you weren’t lying on your stomach and taking every thick inch of him you’d be running in shock horror. But you find the idea isn’t quite as horrifying as you’d imagined.

“… Maybe we can fit more than one round in tonight, but that’s all I can offer you,” you say after a moment. You can feel him freeze up behind you. “I’m a busy girl with exams, Hyuck, I don’t have time to be running around with strange men–”

“Strange men?” His laugh is really nice. Sweet and dorky — the opposite of the usual mischievous chuckling he did when he knew he had gotten under your skin — and you only manage a huff of your own laughter yourself before you’re caught off guard by his steadily increasing grinds. “And after those exams? Got any time for a strange man like me?"

“…I’d have to check my calendar.”

He hums, and you swear to God if he stops again you’ll take back everything. "But for now… What’s your calendar open to, baby? Three? Four rounds?”

“Bold of you to assume you’ll get me to cum more than once,” you mumble, but you’re beginning to lose your breath as he picks up the pace once again. “I’ll warn you, though – I get loud after two.”

You don’t have to look back to know he’s sporting a smug as fuck grin. “You better muffle yourself with a pillow then, because I’m not stopping.”

“You’re so fucking sexy when you do that.”

Okay, so maybe the whole ‘waiting until after exams’ bit is getting to Haechan. He wouldn’t wait until your calendar cleared up, he couldn’t, his testosterone wouldn’t let him.

It’s been a whole three days since he got to fuck you; and God was it driving him insane.

You glance up at him now, unimpressed. You knew studying with him was a bad idea, but he’d been so insistent; and you had to admit, knowing he had made you cum four times made his presence all the more tolerable to hang out with.

“When I what? Do science homework?"

"No, no – I mean, yes. When you concentrate you get this small… crease between your brows…” He reaches forward – concentrating himself – tugging the plush of his bottom lip between his teeth as he reaches out to poke between your brows. “You look fucking sexy.”

“Alright, Casanova, hands to ourselves” you snort before you return to your reading.

The silence doesn’t last long, and the second he opens his mouth you swear you’re two moments away from taping his lips together.

“Lemme eat you out.”

“Wh– no!” Horrified, you peek around to see if anyone had heard him. But the library is virtually empty – it always is after 11 PM on a Friday.

And also, you’re both tucked away in a table at the back behind the History books that no-one ever takes out.

“You should be studying.”

“Don’t worry about me, I got this exam in the bag.”

You glare. “You’re awfully confident.”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, slumping in his seat again. “You’re my only competition, and, well…”

“Well, what?” You demand, setting your book down.

This was the usual dynamic you were familiar with when it came to Lee Haechan.

“You saying I’m not good enough competition, for you Hyuck? If my memory serves me correctly – and it definitely does – I beat you by 10% on our last exam.”

His own eyes narrow.

Oh, you just hit a nerve.

“Just for that,” he begins slowly, pushing his chair out, “I’m gonna suck your clit ‘til you go dizzy.”

“What part of no don’t you understand?”

But the promise is enticing and you part your legs anyway as he shimmies underneath the table.

“You’re such a fuckboy, I swear–”

“I am not!” He objects incredulously from beneath you. “I just like how you taste, baby.”

A fuckboy, you swear. But he’s got a way with words (and a way with his fingers, and a way with his tongue, and a way with his di—).

You feel your skirt being rucked up and your panties being pulled to the side – seconds later, his face ducks up from the table, grinning wolfishly.

“You’re kinda wet down here, baby. Are you sure you’re okay?” He teases.

“Shut up before I scream,” you grunt, folding your arms.

“Wouldn’t that be a dream?” He sighs. He retreats not two milliseconds after, though, and you hear him whistle lowly to himself. And then, so quiet you almost don’t catch it: “Fucking hell, baby.”

You make a promise that if he calls you baby once more you’re going to kick him because it makes your stomach flutter and your palms sweat — but then he licks a rough line up your pussy and you decide that maybe you’ll allow him to call you whatever he pleases.

Your head falls back as he does it again, and again, and again, as if he’s trying to clean up whatever mess you’d made in your panties. And normally you’d be irritated — wanting him to just move onto your clit already — but he genuinely sounds like he’s enjoying himself.

Quiet groans in his throat and passionate movements of his jaw, and his hands grasp your thighs so tightly you know there’ll be bruises. He smacks his lips wetly and you jolt, peeking out from behind the bookshelf to see if anyone had seen.

“Calm down,” He says, words muffled against you. “Nobody comes behind here on a Friday night. We’re safe.”

And as if to punctuate his point: a finger pulls back the hood of your clit, and true to his word, he sucks. Quickly, you shove your fist into your mouth and begin to gnaw on your knuckles, squeezing your eyes shut so hard that you see stars.

“H-Hyuck,” you whimper, “Unless you want me to get us caught–"

"I know, I know,” he says, sighing. His face comes out from underneath the table again. “I’ll be good if you pull your top down.”

“W-what?” To be fair, you’re still delirious off pleasure because his thumb hasn’t stopped grinding against your clit. “Why?"

"So I can play with your tits,” he says easily, shrugging. “C'mon, Princess. Show me your boobs.”

You stare at him for a moment, disbelief written on your face. “You’re such a man.”

“And you’ve still got the limp to prove it, haven’t you, baby? Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you can’t walk straight.”

“Whatever.” You pull your top down, tug your breasts out of their cups – only to appease him and get him to shut up. Immediately he takes one in his grabby hands, all warm and rough as he tugs and pulls at one nipple.

So, okay, maybe he does know what he’s doing. Sometimes. Who are you kidding? All the time.

“Hm, you like that, don’t you?"

"Shut up,” you hiss, “if you get us banned from this library because of your dirty talk I’m never fucking you again—shit."

“We both know that’s not true.”

A steady stream of suckling on your sensitive bundle of nerves calls your attention elsewhere; at the same time, your nipple is rolled between his index and thumb. You feel like you’re buzzing all over, and it’s not because you’ve had five cups of coffee in the last three hours.

You don’t realise that you’re panting – fucking close – until Haechan releases your clit with a pop. He ducks underneath the table to peek up at you again. "Are you trying to get us caught?"

"I’ll be quiet,” you promise through gritted teeth, shoving your top into your mouth. You restrain the urge to curse him out because you could feel the beginning flutters of your orgasm on the tip of your tongue, and you know he’ll draw it out as much as possible if given the chance. “Just keep going."

He’s wearing a victorious, shit-eating grin when he gets back to it, energy increasing rapidly. He eats pussy like he’s competing for a trophy, and truth be told, you don’t mind being his prize if he makes you cum as hard as you did a few days ago. His tongue moves eagerly, tracing letters and numbers and fucking his name on your sensitive skin before sucking again.

No noise. You try to coach your brain into silence.

You never usually have a problem keeping quiet for the first orgasm. But as much as you hate to admit it, the act of being eaten out in a public library is a different kind of turn on.

And it really doesn't help that Haechan knows exactly what he’s doing.

Maybe that’s why when you cum, you have no problem with clinging to any part of him you can get your hands on — his hand on your chest, his hair between your legs. A weak whimper follows as you contract around nothing, hips bucking gently into his mouth, and he takes it all in.

Fuck.

He slides back from under the table and resurfaces a metre away, grinning widely. You know the image of you looking so ruined because of him is doing wonders for his ego — so as quickly as possible you pull your top down and readjust your skirt, panties irritatingly rough against your skin.

"Good, huh?"

You don’t want to give him anymore satisfaction, but you know with the orgasm he had just given you so publicly, there was no use in lying. In fact, you’re certain lying to him would only make his cocky ego flame even more.

“Whatever, Hyuck. You give good head, I’ll give you that.”

He hums, leaning backwards. “Thanks, baby. Now, bend over."

”Excuse me?“ You say.

“C’mon, you can’t just let me eat your pretty pussy and not expect me to get hard. You’re blue balling me here, Princess.”

You’re so genuinely shaken by his unfaltering confidence that you just stare.

“And don’t pretend you don’t love my cock.”

“Hyuck—”

“Bend over, I’m not kidding.”

You’re in a library. Letting him eat you out was already a reach — but you can’t deny that you do love the feeling of him inside you. And he did take good care of you last time. And —

You sigh in defeat, standing. “Remember what I told you last time?"

"You get loud after two. I’ll keep that in mind, baby.”

[luxcuriousao3]

Fevered Mistakes

Summary: Ghost, a formidable Alpha, is captured and dosed with rut inducers. You are the omega he's tossed into a cell with. WC: 3429 Warnings: a/b/o, graphic nonconsensual sex, nonconsensual drugging, unprotected PIV sex, referenced torture/experimentation, blood, vomit, death, hurt no comfort, background ghoap, POV switches denoted by triple asterisks (***) Notes: Based off the first half of this post that I made a bit ago. Ngl, I don't really like how this one turned out, but y'all were begging for it so, so I feel bad just letting it rot in my google docs lol. There are two scrapped versions of a second chapter that would make this fic farrrrr less angsty, but idk if I'm ever gonna continue this, so I'm treating this like it's a one-shot with the warnings. If I ever do post a continuation, it will be linked on my masterlist, so you can check for it there. And hey, maybe if y'all share your thoughts about this in my inbox or whatever, it might entice the brainworms again lol. Taglist: @captainsherlockwinchester110283

There was a girl in the cell.

She was small and soft in the way that almost all omegas were, though it was her scent that really gave her status away. Sweet and alluring but soured by fear, it invaded his nostrils and made him all the more dazed. The blow to his head, the one that had landed him in this situation, would have been hard enough to kill him, had he not been an Alpha.

He’d been sloppy. Let his feelings for Johnny get in the way of procedure. But seeing his beta, laid out on the floor, bleeding from his head, still as a corpse… he couldn’t have controlled himself if he tried. And at that point, he hadn’t wanted to try.

He’d gotten distracted, and he’d paid the price.

It had been three days since he'd been captured, by his best estimate. It was hard to measure, between the head injury and being kept in a room with no windows. All he had to go off of was how often someone came in to torture him for information. He never gave any up, of course. Even compromised, he never would. He'd been trained far better than that.

Still, he wasn’t in very good shape. Beaten to hell and back, his head scrambled… his feet dragged uselessly as he was pressed up against the bars, one of his captors unlocking the cuffs on his wrists while the other two kept him restrained. The fourth jammed a syringe into his neck, injecting him with some unknown substance. Ghost tried to break free, to throw a punch or a kick, anything, but his reflexes were sluggish, his thoughts painfully slow. All he succeeded in doing was annoying them, and he got an elbow to the back of his neck for the trouble.

He was no omega, couldn’t be immobilized by a simple scruffing, but fuck if that shit didn’t still hurt like a bitch. He collapsed to the concrete floor of the cell with an animalistic howl, and the sourness in the omega’s scent spiked, her heart rate speeding up. Ghost couldn’t find it in himself to care—the very last of rational thought was beginning to abandon him as the pain spread from the back of his neck throughout his entire body, growing unbearable as it reached his groin. He felt like there was fire raging just beneath his skin, and his senses sharpened as his dark gaze locked onto the wide-eyed omega curled up in the corner, neck cracking unsettlingly with the speed at which he turned. He had time for only one more thought before instincts took over, his heart dropping out his arse as dread turned the blood in his veins to ice before it began to boil all over again.

Rut inducers.

***

When you woke up, you were escorted to the cell in which you spend your heats. That confused you, since your next heat wasn’t supposed to be for another month at least.

It also terrified you.

Though you didn’t remember much of what happened during your heats, you did remember the pain. The desperate, burning need for an Alpha’s knot, and the aching, gaping emptiness when you were denied it, the only thing that could bring you any relief. This cell held nothing but bad memories, and you didn’t want to be anywhere near it.

But you had no choice. For as long as you could remember, you did as you were told, the way a good omega should. In your sleep, you thought maybe you saw glimpses of a time when things were different, when there were no scientists in white coats and men and women in military uniforms controlling your life. But you knew those were just dreams. None of it was real.

You sat on the thin mattress in the cold, dank cell for hours before something finally happened that could explain why you were there. A man was brought in—massive and with a terrifying skull mask on his face—and you barely had to take a whiff of him as he was shoved into your cell with you to know that he was an Alpha. There was that familiar smell of damp, scorched earth after a lightning strike, and you knew from the intensity of it that he was angry. No, not just angry. Furious. The very air reeked of electricity and burning plastic, overwhelming any hint of his natural scent. This was an Alpha that was ready to rip, rend, tear, kill. And you were stuck alone in a cell with him.

“Не сопротивляйтесь,” one of the uniformed men told you, expression entirely unsympathetic. It was almost worse than the look of sadistic, scientific glee on the face of the white coat next to him. “Ты сделаешь только хуже.”

Don’t fight back. You’ll only make it worse.

Your eyes widened, and you barely had a chance to shake your head before the unfamiliar Alpha was on you, grabbing your ankle in a brutal grip and dragging you away from the corner you’d curled up in. You screamed in pain as you felt the bone snap like a twig under his large palm, instinctively hitting your hands against his broad chest as you tried to fight him off. If you had been in heat, you wouldn’t have cared, wouldn’t have even felt the pain from him breaking you, would have spread your legs and begged him to knot you. But you weren’t, and so your survival instincts overtook those of your omega. You knew you would be punished later for disobeying, but at the moment, you didn’t care. Anything was better than being knotted by the feral Alpha on top of you. He would maul you to death while he fucked you, you just knew it.

The Alpha grabbed your wrists in one hand, pinning them above your head. The other ripped your shirt off, causing your back to arch and your tits to spill out of your bra. He buried his face in your neck, inhaling deeply and letting out a satisfied growl. You tried to headbutt him, and he snarled in your face, wrapping a hand around your throat and squeezing tight enough to make your vision go black around the edges in less than ten seconds. By the time you caught your breath and were able to think again, his hands were busy yanking down your pants and underwear in one harsh tug. You let out a hoarse shriek of fear, flipping onto your belly to try and crawl away, ignoring the searing pain in your shattered ankle. But that was your fatal mistake. His beefy palm met the back of your neck, fingers digging in as he lifted you slightly by it, his other hand coming around to roughly grope your breasts.

And you stopped.

You stopped moving, stopped screaming, you nearly stopped breathing. You were limp as a ragdoll as he scruffed you, utterly and completely paralyzed. You could do nothing but take it as he shoved your face into the dirty concrete, pried your legs apart, and forced himself inside you. You could feel the agonizing pain as his cock practically tore you in half, could feel the ice cold fear freezing every cell of your body, could feel his blunt nails digging into the ultra-sensitive skin of your nape. You could feel everything. But you couldn’t do anything to stop it.

It seemed to go on forever, and yet take no time at all. One second, you were pliant and supine beneath the Alpha as he pounded into you, his weight constricting your lungs and making it difficult to breathe. The next, the restrictive grip on your neck was gone, replaced by a sharp pain at the junction of it and your shoulder as his teeth sunk into your flesh. Into your mating gland. Your own screams were echoing in the tiny cell, now, no longer confined to your head.

“M’sorry, M’sorry, M’sorry,” a rough, wet voice chanted in your ear. It was the Alpha, speaking to you in English. You could understand it, even if you couldn't speak it. He was still on top of you, still inside you, his knot stretching you far beyond your limits. And yet he was… apologizing? You stopped screaming in your confusion, the terrified screeching replaced by the sound of your heaving sobs.

“M’sorry, M’so sorry, they dosed me, M’sorry,” the Alpha continued, voice slurred. You struggled to focus on his words, distracted by the liquid you could feel dripping down your thighs. It was probably blood, you realized distantly. His knot wouldn’t have let any of his seed escape. That’s what it was there for.

That, and to keep you from running.

The Alpha’s voice grew more and more gravelly as his knot began to deflate, his apologies interrupted by grunts as he began to move his hips again, thrusting in and out of you shallowly. You whined, clawing at the floor, trying to wriggle free, but he just settled nearly his entire weight on top of you.

“Don’ fight,” he growled, and you could tell from the strain in his voice that he was at least trying to resist his instincts. It didn’t make you feel any better, especially not when his fingers inched closer and closer to your nape again. “Don’t, or m’gonna have to— fuck, I don’t— fuckin’ be a good omega an’ take it— m’sorry, fuck— don’t fuckin’ fight me—”

You were still sobbing, shrieking like a dying thing with every quick, brutal snap of his hips against yours. Too out of it from being scruffed, you missed the warning in his jumbled plea threat, continuing to struggle underneath him. You felt your ribs crack as he pressed the rest of his considerable weight onto you, and the strangled, stuttering gasp that left your throat was the kind of sound that belonged in a horror film.

The Alpha seemed to think so too, as he moaned in a horrid mixture of pleasure and abject misery before he scruffed you again. You went still, once more trapped in your own body. It was the worst sensation you’d ever felt, worse than the experiments the white coats ran on you, worse than your punishments, worse than your heats spent alone. Worse than the shattered ankle or broken ribs, worse even than the feeling of him ripping you apart from the inside. You were always helpless and vulnerable, being an omega, but this… when you were scruffed, you were no longer a person. You were just an object, to be used as your Alpha saw fit.

Your Alpha.

The man on top of you—who was knotting you for the second time now—was your Alpha. He’d claimed you, the pain in your shoulder was proof of that. You would wear his mark forever, now. You would belong to him for the rest of your life.

You prayed that it was short.

Your Alpha released his painful grip on your nape again, but you didn’t try to get away this time. You were far too disoriented. Being scruffed once was bad enough, but twice in as many minutes? You could easily go into shock from that. You probably were in shock, but you didn't panic, feeling too distant and floaty. The ice in your veins was numbing you from the inside. That was nice… you leaned into it, letting your blankly staring eyes flutter shut—

“Omega!”

Your eyes snapped back open and you whimpered, trying to curl in on yourself. That only caused pain to flare up all over your body, the burning between your legs as you tugged on his knot pulling another scream from you.

“Stay still,” the same harsh voice ordered, and your instincts forced you to obey. The command was a little more collected this time, a little more coherent, even if he was still groaning and slurring.

“Don' move,” your Alpha panted, each word sounding like it was dragged out of him. He started to fuck you once more. “Don’— don’ wanna scruff you ‘gain.”

You didn’t have it in you to be grateful. Didn’t have it in you to be sympathetic to his situation either, not while he was still rutting into you like an animal.

They dosed me, he’d said. You wished they’d dosed you. At least then you wouldn't feel the pain…

***

Simon had never hated being an Alpha more than in that moment.

Bollocks deep in a pretty little omega, one already stuffed full of his come and wearing his mark… he wished fervently that this was just another of his nightmares, the ones that stuck with him like a bad smell even after escaping Roba.

Between the disorientation from his forced rut and the nasty head injury, he almost let himself believe that it was. If it was a dream, he could give in, and he wouldn’t actually be hurting anyone. He could just ride it out, come in trousers wherever he was sleeping, and hopefully, it would end faster.

But her screams were far too real.

She wailed like she was being flayed alive as she struggled underneath him, and his Alpha—after being denied a partner for his ruts for over a decade—was brutal and swift in its response. Scruffing her like a scrappy mutt, growling in pleasure at the way she submitted to him—the way she was forced to submit to him.

It was nearly impossible to think around how fucked his head was—by instinct and injury both—but after he'd knotted her for the second time, he was able to act a little more like the trained soldier he was, and not like a panicked civvie.

He didn’t argue with himself any longer. He accepted the reality of the situation as it was. He was in rut. He was trapped with an omega. He had brutalized and claimed her. If he kept focusing on trying to stop himself altogether, he was going to kill her. He needed to give up on that and instead just try to minimize the damage.

Starting with stopping her from going into shock, and then stopping her from fighting back. It only made his Alpha all the more eager to dominate her—by any means necessary.

It sickened Simon that that part of him existed. Deep down, he feared that it always had. That Roba hadn’t created it, back in the desert. That he’d just unearthed it. All of Simon’s evilness, all his wicked desires…

It was why he’d never taken an omega before. Never even let himself date one, back when that was something he did.

Johnny was perfect, in that way. In many ways, really, but him being a beta—it soothed Simon’s fears. The fears that were being proved true.

He didn’t know how long passed before the rut inducers wore off. It had to have been hours. The omega—his omega—was still facedown on the ground when he pulled out of her for the last time. She was bleeding from where he’d bitten her, and where he’d bred her, his cock drenched in her blood, her own thighs stained with a mix of it and his come.

Simon threw up at the sight. He told himself it was just from the head injury.

He was naked, except for his mask, which was pushed up past his nose. He didn't remember taking off his trousers, though he recalled that his shirt had been cut to shreds the first day of his captivity by his torturer. He didn’t remember a lot of his mini-rut, as was common when it was induced. But the evidence of what he’d done was right in front of him. The omega—not mine, not my omega, not mine—was clad in nothing but the scraps of her clothes. Her side, hips, wrists, and the back of her neck were bruised. Her ankle was bent at a funny angle. A small patch of hair near her nape was missing, leaving her scalp red and raw. Simon looked at his hands, and found the strands woven between his fingers.

She didn’t move.

Simon pulled his mask into position and Ghost took over. He moved towards the girl, feeling for a pulse. She flinched violently when he touched her neck, and he felt relief—and guilt—reverberate through him. Ghost was good at ignoring his feelings, though.

“S’over,” he told her, voice gruff. “S’done now. Promise.”

The omega didn’t acknowledge his words, just kept her shoulders tucked up by her ears, guarding her neck. Ghost didn't protest, simply felt along her spine for any breaks. He didn’t find any, so he carefully rolled her over.

Her breasts were red and raw, nipples bleeding from being scraped back and forth across the floor. There was a hand shaped bruise around her throat, and petechiae in the whites of her glassy eyes. Ghost ignored his horror at the sight, and began to palpate her ribs. She inhaled sharply when he touched the eighth and ninth ones, a pitiful, pained whine escaping her.

The ribs were probably fractured, if not broken. The bruising above them was clue enough. There was another massive bruise low on her belly, and Ghost swore. Internal bleeding. He may have actually fucked this poor omega to death. There was no way she survived the night if she wasn't treated soon.

He got his pants and trousers on, hoping it would help her believe the worst was over, and then got to work doing what he could—wrapping her ribs with the dirty blanket in the corner, and holding the scraps of her shirt between her legs to try and stem the bleeding there. It wasn't enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. He didn’t even know if it was really worth the discomfort it caused her—but he couldn't bring himself to just let her die. She was his omega.

Not mine, not mine, not mine.

He talked to her as she faded. Tried to keep her awake with the sound of his voice, though he knew it was probably the last thing she wanted to hear. He told her stories from his childhood—the few good ones there were—told her the plot of the last film he and Johnny had watched, told her about Johnny. That was the topic he lingered on the longest. It was far easier to talk about his beta than himself. And by the time her eyes slipped closed and her shallow breathing stopped, it was Simon that was holding her, not Ghost, despite the mask on his face.

It was Simon that watched her die.

It was Simon that realized he didn't even know her name.

And it was Simon that howled with grief and rage, clutching the broken body of the omega—my omega, my omega, mine—against his chest.

Footsteps rapidly approached the cell, and Simon snarled like a rabid animal as he turned towards the bars. He barely had a second to pull his omega—dead, dead, dead, she was mine and I killed her, she was innocent and I killed her—behind him before a familiar voice rang out. The only voice that could have possibly reached him in this state, that could stop him from giving into his instincts completely and going feral.

“Simon?”

“Johnny,” Simon growled, sounding desperate and broken. He felt broken. This little omega had managed to do what Roba and a hundred others had failed at. And she hadn't even tried.

“Let us help her, Si,” Johnny coaxed, moving closer while Price and Gaz hung back. Wise, because Simon could barely keep himself from baring his teeth at his own beta. Johnny didn't back down. “Si. Let us help her.”

Simon hesitated for a long moment, fighting his overwhelming instincts, before moving away. Johnny rushed in, immediately checking the omega’s pulse and starting compressions when he couldn’t find it. Simon tried to struggle to his feet, but he nearly fell over, Gaz and Price catching him. He snarled, weakly pulling away from them, but they held fast.

“We got you, soldier,” Price’s deep voice rumbled in his ear. “Stand down.”

Simon slumped, unable to hold himself up anymore, all his injuries catching up to him.

“I killed her,” he whispered raggedly, eyelids falling shut. He felt Gaz shake him to try and keep him awake, but he simply didn't have the willpower, anymore. “She was mine and I killed her.”

The mantra rang in his head even as he lost consciousness, and her screams of pain and the look of fear on her face as she lay dying followed him into his dreams.

-

less angsty ending

[justaaveragereader]

Ice On My Teeth Or Ice In My Mouth

Pairing: OT8 x Reader

Word Count: 3.4K

Warnings: Switch Reader, Dom!Hwa, Dom!Yunho, Noona Kink, Everyone Else Is Subs, Bukkake, Name Calling (Good Boy, Darling, Slut..) Breast Play, Oral, Cum Eating, Dirty Talk, Mentions Of Reader Taming Woo, Spitting, Slight Exhibitionism, Reader Loves Being Watched, All Of Them Love Readers Grill, If I Missed Anything…Lemme Know👀👀

A/N: This comeback good lord…all my villain Yunho enthusiasts stand up with me! BC HOT DAMN, there is so much to talk about but when I tell you I rannnnn to google docs to punch up this fic, I swear the MV was so scrumptious I thought we would have a part 2 of Hwa ina grill, or any of them but it’s alright🙄😒, I made the reader make up for the lack of grills in the MV. Also Dom!Hwa and Dom!Yunho they 🤪, I will die on the hill that Yunho, Jongho, and Hwa top three doms in the group. Fic wasn’t entirely proof read so🙃 Hope yall enjoy😚

Masterlist

All Ageless, Blank, and Bot Looking Blogs Will Be Blocked.

“You wanna what!?” You exclaim, sweaty back against the floor, heaving with deep breaths as teaching all 8 members the choreography to their upcoming comeback was draining you more than it was draining them.

“It’s just a thought..” Seonghwa said silently while patting the sweat off of your forehead with a small towel.

“You really wanna share me? With all of them!?” You say, pushing his hand away slightly, leaning up on your elbows. With a smile I’m his face and a careless shrug he nods his head. Clearly he has thought about this before, it just was finding the right time to bring it up to you. Seonghwa was a lot of things but selfish when it came to sex was not one. He’d be lying if he said he hadn't thought of sharing you with his own members, he saw the twinkle in their eyes when you paid them a compliment, or even when you all sat for movie night brushing against one of the other members thoughtlessly.

“I think it’ll be fun, imagine that, you covered in their cum. While you swallow mine, just think about it princess.” Seonghwa hums out, continuing to brush away the sweat on your forehead, nodding your head lightly. He begins to hum with each wipe, your mind goes straight to the thought of you being a cum dump for all of the members. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about each and everyone one of them in that way, they were all attractive men, it was no secret their looks were second to none. A group of 8 visuals, with amazing personalities to match. You sat and thought about what Seonghwa had said for weeks on end, coming towards the end of the month right before the comeback began you took him up on that offer.

~

“You can cum on her but no one is allowed to touch her.” Seonghwa says, his hand firm on your hip while your eyes flicker through each members expression. Immediately nodding his head Mingi stands up, beginning to fiddle with his belt. Grabbing his arm Jongho pulls him back down, furring his eyebrows at him.

“That doesn’t seem entirely fair.” Wooyoung says, keeping his legs crossed tightly not wanting to show his hard cock through his pants. Per usual this bratty personality arises. Making you cock your head slightly to the side, eyes swirling with dominance wondering what it would be like to tame the Jung Wooyoung. Seonghwa notices your eyes swirling with excitement, patting your hips, he grabs a soft pillow from the couch tossing it in the middle of the room. The soft item hitting the floor with a silent thump.

“This isn't about us, this is about him.” Yunho says, eyes twinkling with his own lust, man spreading loud and proud. Your eyes flicker down to his cock that’s standing at attention in his sweatpants. Raising his eyebrow, Seonghwa looks at Yunho impressed, nodding slightly, he looks at the man mentally applauding him for putting two and two together so quickly.

”What can I say?” Seonghwa says with a shrug to his shoulders, eyes twinkling with pride, patting the top of your thigh you let out a quiet sigh.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve seen her with other men.” With a shrug to his shoulders he leans back against the couch. Your eyes flicker over to Mingis jittery figure. Biting his polished nails with anticipation, he didn’t care how it happened, he just wanted it to happen. Choking on his spit, Hongjoongs eyes double in size, side eyeing Seonghwa, clearly he had known of your and Seonghwas sex life but he didn’t think cuckholding or swinging would be something he’s into.

“Fuck it, I’m in!” San says, brushing his sweaty palms on his pants. With all the boys coming around slowly, they all begin to stand in a circle, surrounding the pillow. With a firm squeeze to your hips your eyes float to each man. Anticipation, nerves, and hard cocks.

“How do you want me?” You say loudly, eyes continuing to flicker between each man, yet subconsciously they all knew you were speaking directly to Seonghwa. With a small smile cracking on your face, the light catching the silver grill lining the top of your teeth. Making all the men in the room let out soft groans of desperation.

“Naked and on your knees, darling.” As you begin to stand, hands clutching the bottom of your shirt to pull it off of your head you hear a small whimper leave Yeosang and Mingis throat. Before you can continue taking your clothes off, Seonghwas hand stops you as your fingers come up to unclip your bra.

“Make it worthwhile for them, they look like pent up college boys.” He says with a snicker, leaning back against the cushions once more. Watching as your naked figure makes way towards the pillows. As your knees hit the soft item, your shoulders jitter slightly with excitement. Chin up, head on a swivel you turn your head to look at all of the members as they stand before you. Cocks hard, some biting their lip, others with their hands balled into a tight fist, trying to hold back their orgasm. Just seeing you kneeling before them was enough to make them blow their load.

“Well…are you going to pull those pretty cocks out, or am I going to have to beg some of you for that.” You say matter of factly, voice laced with a slight innocent tone. You hear a small whimper to the right of you, head turning to look who it’s from your eyes grow with darkness, eyelids hooded as you seek out your first member.

“Look at wet patch on your pants Mingi, someone is excited.” With a heavy blush to his cheeks, he shifts from foot to foot. Fiddling with the waistline of his pants. With a soft coo you beckon him over with a lift of your finger, moving like he’s in a trance. His feet move swiftly, bumping Hongjoong as he makes his way towards you. Standing in front of you with his large stature. You place a hand on his waist and on his pants, tugging at the material slightly, as the air hits his cock he lets out a whine, his large cock smacking the bottom of his stomach before standing at attention in your face.

“I thought you said we can’t touch her..” Wooyoung says, eyes deeply boring at the sight in front of him.

“He never said I couldn’t touch you..” you say, eyes darting over to Wooyoung who doubles over in moans as your eyes cut to him. His bratty ways make your body break out in goosebumps. Saying a silent prayer to yourself, hoping this wouldn’t be the last time that you all did this. Your itch to tame Woos bratiness was at an all time high, gripping Mingis cock firmly, your eyes traveled back to him.

“You're going to cum on me, baby.” You moan to Mingi, fingers dancing along his length. With an eager nod he bites his lip, staring at you like you hung the stars in the sky just for him.

“You got such a pretty cock Mingi.” You whisper while placing a small kiss on the base of his cock. His body jerking instantaneously, knees buckling he clenches his hands in a tight fist, nails digging into his palms.

“N-noona please..” Mingi begs, chest beginning to heave, thighs twitching with each soft kiss you place on his dick. Your eyes cut into a seductive look, eyelids growing heavy as you begin to hear the big man begging for you.

“Are you going to cum for me Mingi?” You say though each small kiss, fingers brushing lightly over his tight balls. His knees buckle as you continue to talk to him. Voice as smooth as silk flowing in and out of his ears.

Tugging down his own pants San wraps a firm hand around his cock, groaning at the sensation of his warm hand wrapped around it. Eyes shut, titling his head back, he imagines it's your hand around his hardened length. Eyes squeezing with each sweet, filthy word you speak. Each member starts to slowly grab their own cocks, bodies twitching with excitement as your naked frame sits in the middle of the room.

Your eyes float from Mingis face down to his lower abdomen, bringing your other hand up to brush over this lower stomach. Brushing your lips over the tip of his cock, he lets out a small, high pitched whine. Jerking his hips slightly, you watch as his hands flex tightly.

“You are such a good boy for me Mingi.” You whisper out, lips continuing to brush over his leaky tip. His knees buckle once more, lower lash like filling with tears that are meer seconds away from being shed.

“I’m a good boy?” He whimpers out, gripping the lower fabric of his shirt. Wet eyes shooting over to Seonghwa, eyebrows furring in a pleading look. Your hand that was rubbing across his lower belly moves to his balls once again, giving them a firm squeeze making Mingi jump, his eyes dart back to you.

“Ah, ah, ah. You look at me Mingi, you are my good boy, not Seonghwas.”

With a loud moan, Mingis hand gripping the lower half of his shirt tighter, head tilting back as you feel his cock pulsing in his palms.

“Who's my pretty boy?” You ask through a moan, tongue swiping between the slit of Mingis cock.

“Me..” he whimpers out pathetically.

“Look at me Mingi.” As he prys open his eyes, looking down at you. The sight before him has him teetering the edge of orgasm.

“Who's my pretty boy?” You ask seductively before slipping your tongue between the slit once more before kissing the tip, and giving his balls a squeeze.

“M-meeee!” He groans out knees practically giving out as he cums with the firm tug you give his balls. A loud whine leaves his throat, doubling over your kneeling form as he shoots his milky load all over your warm skin. His cum splashing on your lower lip, getting on some of the grill, and face. As he finishes you give him one firm squeeze before he jerks his body back. Swiping some of the cum off your lower lip. You let his flavor dance on your tongue as you look up at Mingi, who looks like he’s just ran a marathon, tongue darting out to lick over the shining piece in your mouth, with weak knees he wobbles his way over to the far end of the couch. Tossing his limp body on it.

As your chest grows sticky with Mingis dripping cum you look up at the others, eyes dancing to figure out who's next. Your eyes instantly land on Wooyoung, beckoning him over with a flick of your finger he follows as well. As he makes his way forward you call out for Yeosang, and Jongho. With Wooyoung standing in front of you, Jongho on your left, and Yeosang on your right. Your head swivels between the three men. Swiping the cum off your chest you lube your hands up in his cum, firmly grabbing Yeosang and Jonghos dick. Both of them let out a loud hissing noise at your warm hands wrapped around their lengths.

“Touch yourself, now.” You say to Wooyoung, his hand slowly snakes itself to his member. Wrapping a hand loosely around it, he pumps himself to the same speed that you are pumping Yeosang and Jongho. Alternating between suckling on the tip of their cocks, you keep your eyes on Wooyoung.

“You are such a brat you know that?” You muffle out, popping off of Jonghos dick, before going to spit on Yeosangs, as the cool spit hits his cock you watch as Wooyoungs cock bounces slightly in his hold.

“Look at you, stroking your cock all because Noona asked. What a slut.” You say through a slight chuckle, biting his lip he racks his brain for a slick comeback yet he comes up short. Biting his lip he steps closer to you, cock brushing against your warm cum coated skin. Gathering all the spit in your mouth, you spit it on Wooyoungs cock. His back arching slightly at the sudden feeling. Jonghos hips stutter in your firm grasp. Your thumb coming down to roll over his reddened tip. Releasing your hands from both men on your sides you tilt your head back slightly..

“Who wants to be the first to come in my mouth?” You ask, eyes growing heavy as you stick your tongue out, with your mouth wide open.

“Oh fuck…” Jongho whispers out before standing by Wooyoung, his hand wrapping around his cock as he begins to stroke himself quickly. Yeosang remains where he is. His eyes glued to your form, as his hand comes down to wrap around his cock. You swipe some of Mingis cum off of you before swiping it on Yeosangs member.

“Such filthy sluts I have around me.” You moan out, with each word you degrade all three of them with the closer and closer they are to their release. Yeosangs attractive flushed face twists in pleasure milking his leaking cock for all that it’s worth. As he pumps himself two more times, he’s letting out a loud cry. Head tossing back in pleasure as roles of cum dance along your skin. Shooting all over your shoulder and the side of your breast, it sets off a chain reaction. Eyes dancing along Yeosangs figure, as he groans with each final pump. White teeth sinking into the bottom of his plush lip, Jongho tries his best to keep his hands off of you. Watching your sly reaction as Yeosang paints your skin has his toes gripping the carpet below him, watching Yeosangs face contort in such pleasure has his body jerking, the final line snapping as he hears Yeosang whimper your name out quietly. Triggering his own orgasm, he clenches his shirt tightly, hips jerking forward as the tip of his cock brushes the side of your mouth.

Quickly turning so he can paint the inside of your mouth with his release, wanting to leave his stain on the studded jewelry in your mouth. Wooyoung grips his cock tightly once more, applying heavy pressure to the tip before he’s spilling into his own release. His warm cum dances along your skin, mixing with Jonghos as they paint the inside of your mouth. While both men retreat back to their seats, Seonghwa stands up, making his way towards you. With your cheeks squished between his thin fingers, he watches as your cum coated mouth is swimming in both men’s release.

“You are going to suck me off while the other 3 boys have their turn with you. Lay down.” As your eyes twinkle with excitement. You lay on your back, mouth still cum coated, studded jewelry still shining under the light with each smile. Waiting for Seonghwa to tell you when to swallow, you watch as Yunho, San, and Hongjoong approach you slowly. As if they were a group of lions walking about their feast for the night.

Kneeling down, Hongjoongs cock ghosts right above your face. His hand firmly wrapped around him, with your cum stained tongue rolling out of your mouth he can’t help but let out a low groan. Yunho continues to stand, his large figure swallowing your small frame on the ground. Standing over your stomach Seonghwa kneels down both of his legs trapping the sides of your body, while San stands directly between your legs, that you’ve hiked up, feet planting on the ground so he could get a good look at your cunt. With Seonghwa kneeling over you to get a perfect shot at cumming on your tits. Your eyes flicker to each man standing around you. Your body grows with excitement. Thighs slickening up with arousal as you hear the panting of men, as they pump firm hands up and down their cocks. Inching closer to you, Seonghwa slowly pushes his cock between your lips. As your tongue instantly darts out over hardened length you lock eyes with Yunho who is standing over as if he’s in charge of this whole thing.

As you sucked on Seonghwa harder, making sure to swirl your tongue around the tip of his cock, tongue hugging against the throbbing vein that runs on the underside just how he likes it. The sight before San has him in a trance, his grip on his cock eases up as he’s too enamored with the way you suck Seonghwa in your mouth. With spit pooling around your lips, and dripping down to your naked chest, he gets lost in his dirty thoughts. Your eyes flicker over to his large frame, eyes growing heavy, and seductive with each suck you give Seonghwa. As one of your hands comes up to rub the base of his cock, you continue to lock eyes with Yunho. A battle of dominance between you both, one that you know you will lose. As Seonghwa rubs his thumb across the bottom of your jaw. Eyes flickering to your scrunched face, eyes heavy in concentration on Yunho, that your sucking begins to speed up. As Yunho watches you inhale Seonghwas cock, his own jumps at the sight. The small groans leaving your mouth, the clenching of your thighs. His heavy gaze is too much to bare, you break eye contact with Yunho, eyes fluttering to the man on top of you who's looking at you with a wild look.

“Usually she’s such a brat..” Seonghwa groans out, his eyes never leaving your concentrated face.

“First person I’ve seen her so easily submit too…” he says through a low moan, before pulling his cock from your mouth. The cool feeling of the grill makes him groan, the piece of jewelry hugging your teeth has his knees buckling.

“Isn’t that right, pretty?” He replies in a airy voice, your eyes wet with unshed tears from coughing slightly, you look at the four men hovering above you, a small smile creeping onto your face. Feeling too close to blowing his lid, he moves from kneeling in between your thighs to move on the side of you, directly across from Hongjoong making sure not to take up the space Yunho was standing in.

“Yes..” you whisper out before reaching up to touch Sans throbbing cock, that was twitching in his hand, eyes wide, with his pupils blown. Collecting some of the spit from the corners of your mouth, you rub your moist thumb over Sans tip, a loud mewl leaves his throat, knees buckling almost instantaneously. Your other hand comes up to run across the base of Hongjoong, his precum beading at the redden tip of his cock. With his large hand wrapping around his own member, he pumps himself while watching your every move. Yunho always carried a heavy presence, it practically made you wanna melt.

“Fuck…you are so heavy Hongjoong..” you whisper out, finger tips dancing along his tightened, heavy balls. A small whimper passes through his lips, pulling his head back as you give them a firm squeeze, he makes a move to stop your hand, not wanting to blow his load so quickly yet he remembers the rules. No touching you.

Seonghwa reaches up to crush your boobs together, creating the perfect crevice for him to stick his dick between. Hiking up your chest further, he lets out a loud groan at the feeling of your warm side flesh hugging his cock, with swift movements he begins to rock forward, making sure the tip of his cock taps your chin.

“She’s taking it so well..” San says through a small cry, your thumb still rubbing around his tip. Your eyes leave Hongjoongs..

“You are taking it so well to Sannie..” you whisper out, licking the top of your lip, eyes growing dark as you feel him and Hongjoong pulsing in your hands.

With your heavy gaze on the men above you, biting your lip, the silver shine from your grill has Yunhos hips stuttering in his firm grasp, with Seonghwa letting out a small mewl on top of you, sweat slowly rolls down his temples, eyebrows furring with trying his best not the cum so fast. Licking the top of your lip, your eyes grow heavy at the feeling of both men throb between your hands, pulsing with need. Letting your tongue roll out slowly, making sure to slide your tongue over the shining jewelry coating the front of your teeth, all four men above you look like they are on the verge melting right into you.

“Come on..” you moan out quietly, gripping Hongjoong and Sans cocks a bit firmer, eyes darting to all the men above you..

“Cum on me..”

DO NOT REPOST.

[dreamersparacosm]

jeon jungkook - if we were us (part two)

warnings ; none!

prompt ; in which life gives you and Jungkook one more chance to hold on.

note ; nothing like a month long hiatus to really set the mood!! right? hehe. r-right? right.. guys? OK FIRST OFF — apologies for my absence on this fic. i did not forget about her i swear. i just wanted more time to sit with her (and like i am so glad i did. she needed to marinate in my notion templates and google docs even more). writing a fic like this is heavy and heartbreaking, and i think i was struggling a bit on direction. as we all know i'm THEE™️ romcom writer and it sometimes hurts me to write angst if its too psychologically tolling on my oc's but i have found my happy little middle ground and we are sticking to it!! writers block be damned!!! all that to say, next chapter will be jungkook's pov (ooooohhh it's juicy.) but this chapter... well, this chapter is the beginning of their story. sit back, relax, get some ice cream, and don't scream in my inbox please (or you can. i'll allow it just this once)

playlist here

series masterlist here

wc ; 5.4k

[YOUR POV]

There’s a book in a pink box under your bed titled ‘The Dream Book.’

Next to the dust bunnies, next to Namjoon’s old socks that mysteriously keep disappearing under there, next to the candles you keep forgetting to light. 

It’s flimsy now, pages showing their years. Full of magazine cutouts of picturesque kitchens and winding staircases. 

In that book, you knew exactly what you wanted. You had it down to a science; everything from the career to the loving husband to the cat to the house with a picket fence. 

It was always the same house in every sketch, every torn-out photo you’d taped inside. White exterior, blue shutters, close enough to the ocean that you could taste salt in the rain. 

It’s all there, in bad gel pen handwriting and glittery highlighter.

You used to love that book. 

Then you broke up with Jeon Jungkook.

Now, when you turn the pages, when they glare back at you at 3 AM as you turn through them on your bathroom floor with a flashlight on, you hate it. You hate how foolish you were to think that anything in that book could come true.

You hate how naive you were at 18. You hate how in your teenage years, all you knew how to do was dream, because life hadn’t taught you otherwise yet. You hate it all. 

Because here’s the thing about any 18 year old who still knows how to dream: they think the universe owes them something. They still think dreams are plans. 

And if you were still 18, still that girl who believed in pink gel pens and destiny, you probably would have ended up with Jeon Jungkook at 32. 

Jeon Jungkook is nothing like you imagined he would be at this age. You don’t know what you thought he would be like — you never let yourself imagine it. 

So as you look at Jeon Jungkook now, the white house materializes behind your eyelids. Kids’ laughter echoes from a swing in a yard. 

You see what you were supposed to have. 

Brown waves curl on the nape of his neck — shorter than you remembered — along with his big brown eyes with undereye bags threatening to form. A navy-blue sweater adorns his body, broad shoulders filling up every seam. He looks older in the way people do when they've lived a whole life you weren’t a part of.

How is it possible that he looks this beautiful at 8 in the morning? Some cosmic joke, probably.

The Jeon Jungkook you loved in college would rather have died than be awake before 10 AM. His arms would pull you back under the covers of his college apartment that smelled like his detergent and your perfume.

“Ten more minutes, baby,” he’d mumble into your shoulder, voice thick with sleep. “I want ten more with you.”

Then he’d complain that you snored — you did not snore, you barely breathed when you slept next to him — and you would retaliate with a pillow to his face, both of you dissolving into a fit of giggles. 

The memory hits like a slap to the face. Blood whooshes through your ears and the coffee shop begins to sway. 

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about—

It’s too late. You’re 22 again, standing in his apartment in his t-shirt, tears collecting on your shirt like raindrops, begging him to go. Begging him to take the job offer, to chase the dream he’d been talking about since you were freshmen. His dream had stopped being maybes; they were tangible things living in the depths of his email inbox. Yours were still living in a book.

“Go,” you’d said, the word scraping your throat raw. “Just go, Jungkook. Please.”

He’d looked back at you like you were asking him to cut out his own heart. 

His coffee cup trembles in his right hand like he’s remembering the same day. His other hand is jammed deep into his pocket, probably clenched into a fist as he normally did when he was trying to hold himself together. 

You wonder if he remembers the last real morning, when you'd pretended to be asleep as he packed. Wonder if he knows you heard him crying in the bathroom, or that you waited until his taxi pulled away before you let yourself completely break.

Some people say that if you love someone, you let them go. They don't tell you that letting go feels like dying. They don't mention that you'll spend the next decade wondering if loving someone means destroying yourself in the process, or if you destroyed the best thing you ever had by being too afraid to fight for it.

“Jungkook?”

You do your best to hide any state of panic, but you can’t seem to relax your shoulders or soothe your pounding heart as you take in the man in front of you. 

He seems to have the same reaction as you. 

“[Y/N]?”

“It’s good to see you.” The lie flows out of your mouth. You’ve gotten good at saying things that sound right instead of true. ‘When.. when did you get back?”

“Last week.” He shifts his weight onto his other foot, fingers clamping the coffee cup with a death grip. “I just bought a place in Gangnam.”

“Bought?” 

Buying means permanent. Buying means he’s not just visiting. Buying means Jeon Jungkook is staying in the same country as you. Your heart does this awful swooping thing, like it's free-falling and taking the rest of you with it.

“U-uh yeah.” He’s fidgeting now. He runs a hand through his hair, tousles it a little. You notice the tattoos on his knuckles. They don’t look new. “Yeah, I'm moving back to Korea.”

“Oh.” Your brain short-circuits. He'd made it crystal clear — it was America or nothing. Come with me or lose me forever. You'd chosen to let him go, chosen to be the martyr, the one who loved him enough to set him free. 

And he'd let you. He'd taken that plane ticket and your broken heart and built himself a whole new life on the other side of the world. Now he’s buying property in Korea like that was part of the options he presented to you. 

The coffee shop walls swallow you whole, pressing in. Your chest tightens as if a brick just slammed down on it.

You need to ask. Need to understand what could possibly bring him back, if not you.“Why?” 

“Work. I’m here for work.”

It’s always work with him. Success was his security blanket in college, and apparently life moves on but some things don’t. You nod like a bobblehead, like this makes perfect sense. 

It does make sense. You just don’t want it to. 

“That’s good.” Another lie. You’re racking them up this morning. 

“And how are you?” he asks. His body leans into you, shoes pointing in your direction. He looks genuinely interested in what you might have to say. Like he’s been praying those pages in the dream book have manifested to reality. 

“Very good.” You straighten your shoulders, slip into the voice you use with difficult parents during conferences. “I, um, I teach.”

His face softens. “No way. You got a teaching job?” 

He looks proud of you. You remember spending nights recapping your education classes, how you’d light up talking about lesson plans and classroom decorations. How he’d listen, with his chin cupped in his palm, brown eyes twinkling up at you. 

You’re about to drop your coffee cup on the floor and ask Jiwoo to just send you the bill to your home. 

“Yup. Kindergarten.” You force a smile that feels like it might crack your face. “The school’s actually pretty close to here.”

He nods slowly, almost shaking his head as if he can’t believe it. As if he’s trying to envision you in front of that classroom, writing on a chalkboard or handing out addition exercises. “God, that’s… that’s amazing, [Y/N]. Kindergarten. That’s perfect for you.”

He still knows you well enough to see the puzzle pieces where they fit. 

“Yeah, it’s pretty neat. The kids are great.”

You’re doing it again — downplaying, minimizing, making yourself smaller. 

Pretty neat is the understatement of the century. 

Like teaching isn’t the only thing that gets you up in the morning, like you don’t spend your own salary on classroom supplies and stay late to make sure Min-jun’s reading comprehension improves. 

Admitting how much you love it, though, feels too vulnerable, like you’re handing him a piece of your heart when you’ve worked so hard to keep all the pieces to yourself. 

“Do you.. do you wanna sit for a minute?” He asks, eyes gesturing towards the black chairs messily arranged around tables. 

You really shouldn’t. It’s 8:40 and you’re supposed to be at the school at 9. You have 23 tiny five-year-olds depending on you to have your shit together, and sitting in your favorite coffee shop with Jeon Jungkook feels like the opposite of having your shit together. 

But that’s not what your mouth says. Your mouth goes: “absolutely.” 

He leads you to a table by the window, where the rain is still collecting on the sill, droplets catching on the pane vigorously. One of Jin’s paintings hangs nearby. You had sold it to Jiwoo for half the price as a thank you for all that extra sugar she tosses in your coffee. 

Jungkook pulls out your own chair, and then settles himself across. 

“So, what else is new?” 

Where do you even start? The decade of learning how to exist without him? How, for the first year he was gone, you unconsciously saved funny stories to tell him before you remembered he wasn’t there to hear them?

“Not much, really.” Lie number three. Third time’s the charm. You’re starting to believe them.

“Well, where do you live?” His eyes eagerly meet yours as he takes a sip out of his coffee cup.

“Apartment, it’s not far from here. Downtown Seoul.” You fidget with your own cup, wrapping your hands around it for something to do. The cold seeps through the plastic. 

His eyebrows scrunch together. “I thought you hated Seoul? Said it was where dreams go to die.”

You vaguely remember saying that. 22 year old you, slumped over his couch, declaring that Seoul was a soul-sucking corporate wasteland where creativity went to suffocate. You’d been so sure that anywhere but here held the key to happiness. 

But then you got the offer letter for your job a few months later, and you learned pretty quickly happiness isn’t really about geography. 

“Oh, do not be fooled.” You manage out a laugh that’s meant to be genuine. “My dreams die every time I realize I’m here.”

Some days you do feel like you’re sleepwalking through a life that looks nothing like you planned. Though lately, when you're reading Where the Wild Things Are to a circle of wide-eyed kids, or when Soo-jin finally writes her name without help, the life you're living doesn't feel so bad.

“Do you live with a roommate?”

His fingers tighten around his cup. He’s bracing himself for an answer he might not want to hear, you think. 

You realize what he’s really asking. What he can’t bring himself to ask directly. 

Kim Namjoon, your boyfriend. That is who you live with. Ten words that draw a clear line in the sand, that would protect you both. 

Namjoon, who’s steady and smart and doesn’t hop on flights to the United States. 

His name sits lodged in your throat, buried under about a hundred other words you want to say. 

Just say it, you tell yourself. Say Namjoon’s name and end this before it starts. 

“Uh, yeah. Yes. One roommate.”

God, you must be an idiot. A monumental idiot who deduces her relationship to roommate because her ex is sitting across from her. Yes, because Kim Namjoon is just some dude who splits the electric bill with you, not the man whose toothbrush sits next to yours in the bathroom.

He nods, “That’s economical of you.”

Your eyes get a better look at him. For the first time, you take note of the silver chain hiding underneath his sweater. The navy-blue top that mixes so well with his golden skin. Brings out the sparkle in his eye that hasn’t left since you said the word roommate. 

“Us teachers gotta lay low. Underpaid and overworked.” You lean back against your chair, taking a sip out of your straw. The sweetness slides down your throat, melting away those words that had been building up in there. 

“You guys deserve better, I swear. Shaping the minds of the youth and what not.” The earnestness in his tone catches you a little off guard. 

“Kinda.” You shrug. “I’m doing a bug project right now with my kids, so I don’t know if I’m really shaping the youth.”

“Bug project?” His eyebrows lift with curiosity. 

When was the last time someone asked about your actual work instead of just nodding politely when you mentioned teaching?

“Ants, caterpillars, the whole shebang. It’s absolutely fucking disgusting.” The curse slips out before you can stop it, and you feel heat creep up your neck sheepishly. 

His laugh booms throughout the shop. You want to bottle it up and hide it under your bed. “I’ll have to come and see that.” 

Your heart flutters. He wants to see your classroom. He wants to see your kids covered in finger paint and learning about metamorphosis. 

Your brain is screaming Namjoon, Namjoon, Namjoon, red sirens blaring in your frontal lobe. 

Clearing your throat, you deflect. You don’t know what else to do with the way he’s looking at you. His chin has found a home in his palm. “So what about you, Mister Home in Gangnam? Very fancy.”

“What about me?” He tilts his head in your direction. 

You don’t even know what you want to ask. You guess, if you’re being completely honest, you want to know if he has a roommate as well. You want to know if there's someone in that fancy Gangnam home who knows how he takes his coffee, who's learned that he gets grumpy when he's hungry and soft when he's sleepy. 

“Roommates?” you ask, and you can’t keep the hesitation out of your voice. 

“Uh, yeah. You could say that.”

You have no energy to decode what that could possibly mean. Your chest is so full of this feeling you only get when you’re with him, one that hasn’t sprouted in over a decade and is poking through the dirt trepidly. 

You settle on switching gears. 

“How was… New York?"

“It was good. Really different from Korea.” His right fingers trace absentminded patterns on the table. He used to do that when he was thinking, working through problems in his head. “My eomma almost had a heart attack the first time she visited.”

You can picture it vividly — Mrs. Jeon, tiny but fierce, clutching her purse in Times Square. When the image flashes through your mind, something lurches in your chest, because you should have been there for that visit. 

“Different in a good way?” You ask, though you're not sure you want the answer. 

What if he says yes? What if he confirms that leaving was the best thing that ever happened to him?

“Well, 7/11 didn’t have any ramyeon so you tell me.” The corner of his mouth twitches upward. 

“That’s horrible. I’m so sorry.” Pressing a hand over your heart, your jaw falls slack in mock sympathy. 

“And finding samgyeopsal is even worse. I had to travel 30 minutes on the train.” He shakes his head in despair, and you’re both smiling now. 

“Oh god.” Your lips are betraying you before you can tell them to shut up. “Do you remember that time we drove 40 minutes in Busan because that new shop that opened up allegedly had the best samgyeopsal in the town?”

“Yeah and then we got food poisoning? Fucking nightmare.” The memory is so clear you can almost taste the regret and ginger ale, can feel his hand cool against your forehead as you’d curled up on his floor. You two were so young then, back when you thought even food poisoning was an adventure as long as you were suffering through it together.

He’s really laughing now, the sound filling empty spaces in your ribs you’d forgotten were there. Behind him, the line grows longer in the shop, and you glance over at Jiwoo quickly to see that her hair is now in a haphazard bun.

“I hope Gangnam has better samgyeopsal.” You smile at him.

“Hmm. I tested this out already. It’s not bad.” His eyes trail down to his cup shyly. You almost think maybe he came back to Korea looking for tastes that would remind him of home. 

“How is your eomma doing, by the way?”

Mrs. Jeon had always been kind to you. She would press extra banchan into your hands when you visited and ask about your classes. A second mother figure to you. 

“She’s good. I still don’t think she likes New York. Plus my brother’s getting married.” His features light up. “She’s been throwing herself into wedding planning. You would think the wedding was for her.”

“Oh my god??” Your voice raises about ten octaves. “Junghyun is getting married? Don’t tell me it’s to Ri-won.”

Ri-won was Junghyun’s college girlfriend who used to show up to family dinners with homemade desserts and flowers for the entire family, even you. Seamlessly, she had fit into the family like she’d been born into it. 

“It is, actually.” Jungkook grins fondly. “She pretty much tied him to a chair and begged him to marry her.”

“Can’t tell if that’s cute or terrifying.” You laugh as you picture small Ri-won wrestling Junghyun into submission. The image is so ridiculous that the knot in your chest loosens slightly, 

“They’re disgustingly in love, so cute.” He shakes his head, hair falling over his forehead. “Like I’m happy for them, but I don’t need to see hyung feeding her strawberries at the kitchen table.”

The domesticity of the image hits you sideways. Junghyun and Ri-won in their home, probably arguing over wedding venues and seating charts, feeding each other fruit like teenagers desperately in love. 

“What about you? How’s your eomma and sister?” He wonders innocently. 

You don’t have the heart to tell him that your sister picked up the shattered pieces of you he left behind. That she despises him with every fiber of her being despite none of this being his fault. 

“Jia’s good. She’s married now. Eomma’s been pestering her for kids.”

It’s still weird to say out loud. Your older sister, married. When did everyone grow up and start making permanent decisions?

“Think it’ll happen soon?” 

“God, no. You know her. She thinks kids are gross snot bubbles.”

You realize too late what you’ve said. 

You know her. As if he’s still flipping through baby photo albums with your mother on the old couch in your living room.

But he does know her. He probably remembers better than you how Jia used to make elaborate excuses to avoid babysitting the neighbors’ kids, or when she would dramatically gag if someone’s toddler had a runny nose. 

Jia used to babysit for some of Jungkook’s cousins, and his aunt might possibly still laugh reminiscing on the time she almost got forced to change a diaper. 

“Yup, sounds exactly like Jia. Does she still watch those cartoons?” 

Yes, Jia absolutely does that. She has a masters degree and a marriage certificate but manages to text you theories about animated movie plots at 2 AM. 

“Some things never change,” you sigh, lightly chucking under your breath. 

Some things never really do. Mostly because you’re right where he left you, in a coffee shop on a rainy morning. 

“Eomma still own that flower shop?”

Your mother owns this beautiful flower shop at the end of a dead road in Busan. You would spend countless afternoons doing homework in high school behind the counter, where the smell of peonies and roses became synonymous with home. 

“Of course. Business is booming, she says.” You can’t help but smile. “I swear sometimes she tells me that so I don’t worry.”

“She’s smart, though. Best flowers in town.” He tugs the sleeve of his sweater down his left hand. She adored Jungkook — addressed him in family terms — and loved the person who made her daughter the happiest. 

You’ve never been certain she loves Namjoon the same.

“You would know, wouldn’t you?” It's not meant to be a dig. In your chest, your heart speeds up, kicks into overdrive. 

He blinks a few times. He’d spent ample time in that shop, charming your mother into giving him employee discounts and teaching him the difference between plants. 

“Do you know how long it took me to find those flowers for our anniversary? She nearly kicked me out of the shop if I stayed another minute.” He trails off a little at the end of the sentence, like the memory has reached up and choked him. 

21-year-old Jungkook was stressing — he drove your mother crazy as he agonized over flower combinations. He claimed they needed to be ‘perfect like you.’ 

Then he had the nerve to drive over to your dorm at 1 AM with the most elaborate bouquet known to mankind. The security guard barely agreed to let him in when he saw the size of that monstrosity. It was white peonies and pink roses, wrapped in the brown paper your mother never let you play with as a kid. 

“They were perfect, Jungkook.” Absolutely perfect. 

He looks down at his simmered-down coffee, and you catch something that might be regret flickering across his face. 

 “Have you been… writing?” You ask, partly to change the subject, partly because you want to know. 

Jeon Jungkook — for all that he is handsome, put-together, and goofy at times — reminds you of a young Shakespeare. 

In college, he carried notebooks everywhere he went, scribbling down fragments of stories and character sketches like he was collecting pieces of the world to reassemble later. 

“No. I wish I was.” His shoulders sag. In this light, he looks more like the boy who read you his terrible first drafts before going to bed. “Haven’t had much time when I’m stuck in meetings all day.”

He sounds defeated. His eyes would light up when he would talk about the novel he was going to write, when he would map out plots on napkins and refuse to fall asleep anywhere beside his laptop in case inspiration struck. The light has dimmed a tad. 

“You should get back to that.”

“You’d still read my books to your kindergarten kids if I publish?” He anxiously chews at his bottom lip as he looks up at you, expectantly. 

“Even if I hadn’t seen you today, of course.”

And you mean that. Even though the thought of explaining to a bunch of kids why Miss [Y/L/N] is crying over a picture book would be its own special kind of torture. 

“Guess I gotta scrap that murder novel then.” He smiles.

“Probably for the best,” you exhale out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. “I can barely handle watching them dissect butterflies.”

He hums, then says while looking out the window, “It’s your favorite kind of morning, I see.”

His big eyes snap back to yours. 

It’s cloudy and gray outside as the forecast promised. You usually set alerts on your phone for when it rains. The predictability of all soothes you. And when you know it’s going to rain, when the excitement settles in your bones at the familiarity of it, you let all your troubles wash away too. 

This — this moment with Jungkook you hadn’t predicted — you don’t want to wash it away just yet. Not one bit. 

It feels fragile and impossible, like trying to hold water in your cupped palms. 

“Hm. Definitely.”

The bell above the door jingles, signaling the entrance of more coffee shop-goers. Reality starts to creep in like cold air through a cracked window.

“Drive into the city was ass though.” He hardly cranes his neck to check the door. 

“You’ll manage.” You roll your eyes jokingly. “You survived New York traffic, remember? Seoul’s got nothing on that.” 

But even as you say it, you're already standing, already reaching for your work bag, already nipping this entire thing right in the bud. Staying any longer feels dangerous. 

You’re also not sure what time it is, and you know that if you check the clock, you’ll panic. Principal Park is going to have your head on a stick before recess. 

He stands too, and for a moment, you both just look at each other across the frail table that wobbles. 

“I really should—” you start. 

“Yeah, of course. Your kids,” He steps backwards, hands sliding back into his pocket, coffee cup abandoned. “Don’t want to keep the future leaders of Korea waiting.” 

You realize now you don’t know how to say goodbye to someone who used to know all your secrets. It’s like trying to explain color to someone who’s blind. 

You wonder if you have time to Google ‘how to condense ten years of absence into a goodbye.’

He pauses. Mouth opens and closes like he’s testing words out in his brain to see how they fit. His jaw works silently in concentrated frustration. 

“I don't know if this is stupid, but I'd love to get your—”

“Daddy!”

The American word cuts through the coffee shop, a stark contrast to the native tongue being spoken.

Your blood turns to ice water. A small voice calls out, high and excited and unmistakably directed at the man standing right in front of you. 

The coffee shop, the morning light peeking from the rainclouds, the conversation you’ve been sharing — it all shatters into pieces that don’t fit together anymore. 

Jungkook whips around so fast you think he might get whiplash, and that’s when you see them — two small figures barreling toward him. 

A girl and a boy, about five years of age. Her pigtails bounce as she runs, and the boy is struggling to keep up, clutching a toy dinosaur to his chest. 

They are children. 

His children. 

Air gets stolen from your lungs, leaving you gasping in the wreckage. Your vision tunnels, edges going dark. 

He is a father. Jeon Jungkook — the boy who burned your ramyeon once and couldn’t even keep a goldfish alive — is someone’s daddy. 

The girl crashes into his leg first like a small hurricane, and he catches her instinctively. The boy is cautious, hanging behind his leg, but adoration is written in his face as he looks up at Jungkook. 

“We finished breakfast! Mommy said we could find you!” Her voice is breathless, bouncing on her toes even as Jungkook’s hands reach down and encircle her. 

Mommy.

There’s a mother. There’s a whole family. There’s an entire life Jungkook built while you were doing arts and crafts, teaching kindergartners about clouds, playing tag on the playground. 

His earlier response about his own imaginary roommates crashes back into your consciousness like a freight train. 

“You could say that.”

You’d been so focused on your own deflection, calling Namjoon your roommate, that you’d missed it completely. 

You're a moron. A grade-A, certified, absolutely spectacular moron.

You’re staring. You know you’re staring, but you can’t seem to stop, can’t seem to do anything but watch this unfold. Watch Jungkook transform from the man who was just struggling to ask you for something to someone who belongs to other people, someone who has promises and responsibilities that have nothing to do with you.

Your hands are shaking. You hope it’s not too visible. 

“Did you have a good breakfast, Hari?” Jungkook’s voice is soft as he picks the girl up and perches her on his hip. 

“So yummy, Daddy. I want more later.” Hari looks like pure sunshine. Her pink dress rides up a little, but he adjusts it thoughtfully. She wraps her small arms around his neck, and something cracks open in your chest.

He looks back over at you. There’s… panic floating behind his eyes. He probably realizes how impossible it is to explain why he’s still standing here with you when he has a family waiting for him. 

You just stand there awkwardly, wait for some stupid introduction. Dumb, dumb, dumb, you repeat to yourself. 

“This is Hari… and Jungwon. These are my kids.” He confirms it. 

Jungwon, the boy with the dinosaur, immediately ducks behind his leg. But you’re good with kids — it’s literally your job, the one thing you know how to do even when the world implodes around you. You speak this language. 

You crouch down to Jungwon’s eye level, making yourself smaller. “Hi there,” you start softly. You only use this voice during the first week of school, while everyone’s trying to figure out if you’re safe. “That’s a really cool dinosaur. Is it a t-rex?”

Jungwon peeks out from behind Jungkook’s leg, curiosity winning over shyness. He nods, holding the toy a little tighter. He has soft round cheeks, hair just as dark as his father’s. There’s a dinosaur bandage on his knee.

This little boy is half of the man you once loved, walking around in miniature with sticky fingers and a toy dinosaur.

“I love dinosaurs. My favorite is a pterodactyl.” You keep your voice gentle. 

His eyes light up, stepping out more confidently. "I like them too.”

“He normally doesn’t talk to strangers,” Jungkook rushes to say, and there’s a bit of wonder in his tone as he watches you work your teacher magic. 

“It’s okay, there's no rush.” Years of training kicks in even as your brain struggles to process it all. You're having a professional conversation about child development with your ex-boyfriend while his son — his fucking son — clutches a plastic dinosaur and looks at you with eyes that used to promise you forever.

You stand back up, knees protesting slightly, and turn your attention to Hari. 

“Who’s that, daddy?” she asks. For her young age, you can tell she notices everything. 

And that’s when you finally see it. Wrapped around her little leg is his left hand. The one he’s been keeping jammed in his pocket this whole time.

There’s a thin gold band on his left ring finger. 

The world tilts sideways again, and you have to grip the table to keep from toppling over. 

He’s not just a father, he’s a husband too. 

There is a woman in this world who gets to wake up next to him every morning. 

You ponder if she knows about his tendency to hum off-key in the shower, or his terrible sleeping habits, or that his guilty pleasure book is the Harry Potter series. 

You look over at him, desperate for any guidance. How exactly does one answer an innocent question like that when the truth is too complicated for you to understand? 

Well, sweetheart, Daddy and I used to love each other very much, but then he got on a big plane in the sky that transported him thousands of miles away, and now I play with bugs and he works a big boy job that lets him buy homes in Gangnam. 

“An old friend, baby,” Jungkook relieves you of the answer. You want to both thank him and absolutely lose your mind. 

As if you’re someone he knew in passing, not someone who knows that he twitches in his sleep when he’s having a really vivid dream. 

Hari processes this information, studying your face. Then she suddenly gets bashful, ducks her head into Jungkook’s shoulder, and giggles before going, “You’re really pretty.”

Kids have this way of cutting through adult problems with safety scissors. 

You and Jungkook both laugh. When you catch his eye, he’s looking at you like he agrees with her.

“So are you, Miss Hari.” You grin. 

She really is beautiful. She has a confidence that speaks to how deeply loved she must be. 

You take another long look at his kids. 

They have his big brown eyes, staring back up at you like you hung the moon and stars. 

Sometimes, and you’ll never admit this outloud, when you fight with Namjoon and head to bed angry, you have dreams where your children have the same ones.

masterlist + ask

taglist ; @arcanekookz @writesvani @yooniepot @whoa-jo @nimmmnikk @readingbee44 @jungshaking @starlight-1010 @jadaocon1 @phoenixxxxstarrrr @jkaxl @butterymin @almatiarau @lovingkoalaface @carriereadsbooks @bhonbhon @lola75111 @yoonstaar @namkookie222 @jeonjenny @lachimochala @kissyfacekoo @libra04 @minimoninini @goldenjeonkoo @ot7even @kopiosuam @annpeachy @literallyjimin @prxdajeon @purplelanterns @neg-l3ct @gguk-lvr @misakiminaa @wisebouquetbarbarian @smoljimjim @mar-lo-pap @senaqsstuff @jkkk9197 @nesha227

[filmsbyun]

𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐑 ── ⟢⸝⸝

Metamorphosis || Choi Beomgyu

pairing: Choi Beomgyu x afab!reader

⊹₊⟡⋆ estimated wc: 10k [don't trust me WAHAHAH]

warnings: parental abuse (both verbal and physical), beomgyu's adoptive father isn't portrayed in the best light and do keep in mind this is a work of fiction, reader's background is vague, depiction of murder, side character death, a little bit of reference to Icarus, the entire story is full of metaphors, beomgyu's pov centric, ambiguous ending, doesn't contain much heavy theme [if any of the warnings trigger you, please step back from this story right away. i am not responsible for the content YOU choose to consume, thank you.]

[MDNI] smut warning: explicit sexual content, dry humping, cowgirl position, cum eating, snowballing (ohmygosh), unprotected sex (not huzzah!), pull out method (not good bro)

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐞: 1ST AUGUST, 2025

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒;

He was a boy trapped like a bird in a gilded cage, of ruined brushes and swallowed screams, living in a house that smelled of money and rot, where even love had to tiptoe. The only warmth he ever knew was the tired embrace of a woman not by blood, but by heart, and yet even that fragile comfort couldn’t bury the hunger blooming in him, the desperate prayer whispered into pillowcases and paint-streaked hands: for a life beyond the rot disguised as legacy, for a new beginning he never truly believed would come.

You were an uninvited presence in his decaying world, dressed like salvation. But were you truly his salvation, or the temptation that would lead him to ruin? A shadow sent to watch him rise just to see how far he’d fall? And yet if he was to fall, like Icarus chasing the sun he should have feared, then at least he would fall knowing he’d flown.

⋆.☘︎ Yun's 💬

This bad boy is actually sitting in my docs, ready to be posted but I've decided to release it once I'm done with my ongoing projects WAHAHAHA. Fun fact, I've written this piece for a writing competition and won first place, never told anyone (family and friends) about it, locked this beauty in the dungeons (google docs) and didn't let it see the light of the day for God knows how long.

The taglist for this fic and my permanent txt taglist is OPEN, so if you’d like to be added, leave a comment below or send an ask!

[oikarma]

sometimes the fall kills you 𝜗𝜚 ln4, mv1

navigation / masterlist

summary: (19k) it begins the winter of ‘28. you know this is how ghost stories start. a season, an apostrophe, two end digits, and the death of something.

part one / part two

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

notes: this ended up so much longer than i expected, so this is part one only ☹️ freaking tumblr would not let me post my 1000+ blocks. max is literally not in this, sorry for the clickbait, but reading this is important to understanding the next part where he comes in.

lando is a manipulative and unstable person in this fic. his and yn’s relationship might seem romantic or alluring, to have someone so attached to you, but it’s not healthy at all. from what i’ve seen lando is a sweet person and speaks out about mental health, this fic does not claim to represent him in any way. his behavior here is a figment of my imagination.

anyway, this is the first fic i wrote in google docs, i bled, sweat, and teared my way through it, please be nice. i’m sorry in advance. hope you enjoy!

18+... fingering, blowjob, half-choking, unprotected sex, suggestions of oral (smut is in a specific section, i've marked it in bold, please scroll past if you're a minor)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Most days, you feel like the shittest boot-licking piece of trash ever thrown away. It stems from your phone, what all the preaching psychoanalysts tell schoolchildren. Don’t compare yourself. Humans weren’t meant to see their own faces. Fuck that. Mirrors are an age-old invention. Every goddamn thing on this planet is a comparison. You know what they won’t admit: the problem is you, in every lifetime.

So. There’s you, and there’s Lando Norris, Formula 1 world champion, certified ladies’ man since his early twenties and maybe the owner of the most beautiful face you’ve ever seen, right down to his perfect nose. There is no overlap in your venn diagrams, save for the fact that you carved out a piece of him and fit yourself there, like you were born to. You didn’t mean it. But, like you already said, you were born to.

It begins the winter of ‘28. You know this is how ghost stories start. A season, an apostrophe, two end digits, and the death of something. The death of what, exactly?

You’re getting ahead of yourself. 29 is hardly old—it doesn’t show on Norris’s face, not yet. It is too early to say “middle-aged,” contrary to popular belief. It is also too early to become a sugar daddy. Then again, standards don’t apply to him. He’s 29 and rolling in cash. It would not be a stretch to say he’s in his prime.

This is not how you find him in the winter of ‘28. The man slumped over a table at a dingy bar in Bristol is nothing like the Lando Norris the world knows. You don’t even recognize him when he’s a bit more sober, only noting that bleary-eyed and slurring somehow suits him. He’s well into the two-digit rounds when your shift begins. Your co-worker shrugs helplessly, tells you to keep an eye on this one (poor thing, drunk out of his mind), and drops the keys into your dumbfounded hands. Consolation has never been your strong suit. You’re allergic to pity, incapable of giving it or swallowing it quietly. The only move you make to help him is to water down each passing drink, more and more, before the ratio is unmissable. By that point, you’re not sure if he can tell the difference between piss and what he’s ordered. Maybe he can, but he’s not drinking anymore.

Now he’s slumped forward, forehead pressed to the sticky wood. His fingers are loose around a glass he’s forgotten how to lift.

“Hey,” you call, leaning over with the rag in hand. “We’re closing soon.”

Nothing.

You sigh and toss the rag on the counter. When you get closer, the smell hits you. Maybe you weren’t close enough, before, in your attempts to stay out of his single-minded drinking. You catch expensive cologne, drowned under sweat and whiskey. Up close, he’s younger than you thought. Late thirties? You might know that face.

“Hey, man.” You tap his wrist, careful not to provoke any sudden movements. Fuck, you’re tired and you don’t want an angry, stubborn man to start a bar fight now. “Time to go.”

His head lifts slowly. It’s too heavy for his neck. This is the first time you see those ridiculous eyelashes, the sharp jaw softened by stubble, the mouth parted. He’s halfway between a laugh and a cry. You’ll get very familiar with those features, in the months to come.

“Where’d she go?” he slurs, blinking up at you like you have the answer. “Where the fuck did she go?”

You freeze for a second. No, this is bad. A sleepy man is okay, as long as he’s not causing trouble. A crazy, inebriated man is a little more than you can take right now. “Who?”

He lets out this bitter little laugh. “My mum,” he mutters, keeling back over and miraculously not splitting his skull in half. “Dead. Just gone. S’fucked, yeah?”

You exhale. The bar is empty. It’s just you and a guy with a dead mom fraying on your counter.

“Okay.” You walk around, crouch slightly, resting a light hand on his shoulder. “Come on. You can’t stay here.”

He flinches under your touch but doesn’t pull away. Just mumbles, “did you know…did you know she kept every helmet I ever…” His words dissolve into a dry laugh. They then evaporate into silence. You manage to get his arm around your frame, hoisting him up with more effort than you thought you would need. He leans into you, a sandbag with no intention of helping, murmuring nonsense as you steer him toward the door.

“C’mon, champ,” you mutter under your breath, only half-mocking. You’re not cruel.

Outside, the cold air hits his face. It must be enough to jolt his senses a little. He sways, blinking hard at the streetlights like they’ve just been invented.

“Where—” he starts, before bursting into more giggles. “Where am I supposed to go?”

You exhale. This man, half-draped over you, a stranger whose grief is soaking through your clothes, a spilled drink of something you shouldn’t know about. You don’t know yet that his name is Lando Norris. You don’t know yet that—no, you’re getting ahead of yourself again. At this moment, your priority is not having a dead man and a murder investigation in your name.

At this moment, all you know is you need to get him into a cab before he collapses on your doorstep.

“Home,” you say, and hope to God he remembers where that is.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Two nights later, he walks in, a reassurance that, yes, he did remember where home was.

He’s so different that you almost don’t recognize him, if not for the same cologne, honey and saffron that wafts into the air. It oozes confidence and allure, just the way the man that wears it does. He does now, at least, with a crisp white shirt (loose, but precise enough to show that it’s been tailored) and a watch that probably costs more than all your student debt combined.

You watch him from behind the counter, heart sinking into your shoes. Of course. Because God forbid one night of decency go unpunished.

He slides onto a stool (right in front of you, of course) and leans in with this easy, practiced charm that makes you want to punch something. It’s so fake, so unlike everything you know about him. He has no right being able to compose himself. You hate rich douchebags who act like they have no problems; this man’s signature is halfway onto that list.

“Evening,” he says. “Miss me?”

You snort before you can help it. The audacity. It’s a wonder he remembers your face, considering he’d forgotten what lamps looked like. You think he’s pathetic. Pity, as you’ve already said, isn’t in your dictionary. He’s a poser who pretends he’s not sad.

“Wow,” you deadpan, draping the rag over your shoulder. “Back to slum it with the peasants so soon? We’re honored.”

He smiles with all his face, from his mouth to his eyes, from his laugh lines to his immaculately set teeth. There are no canine fangs in this man’s mouth, but his grin still comes off sharp and pleased. He was hoping you’d bite.

“You’re quick. I like that.”

You arch a brow. “What do you want, fancy boy? Another blackout? You know, I usually charge extra for babysitting drunks, but I’ll make an exception for you.”

He smiles again, this time with a laugh. You hate the way you notice the way his fingers through his hair, the effortless grace of it.

“Came to settle my tab.” He reaches into his pocket—wallet? You don’t see clearly—and places a black card on the counter. To him, it’s nothing. “And maybe buy the bartender a drink for her trouble.”

You glance at the card, then back at him. You know how to look helpless, how to mold yourself to what a customer wants. You also know how to look unimpressed, in an attempt to ward off this preening pretty boy. “I think you’re overestimating how much I care about your conscience.”

Not once does his smile falter. “Oh, I’m not here to clear my conscience.” His eyes flick over you. Not in that greasy, leering way you’re used to. It’s as if he’s cataloging you for future use, pulling you apart in his head. “I just don’t like owing people.”

You push the card back toward him. Your fingers tap the bar once. “Then consider us square. You lived, I didn’t get vomit on my shoes. We both win.”

You see his eyes widen, just for a moment—you’ve surprised him—and then the grin snaps back into place, looser now. This is a game he’s decided he wants to play.

He leans back on the stool, thumb brushing his bottom lip. He’s savoring something. You don’t know what. “Alright,” he says to himself. “Square, then.”

You nod once, already turning away.

“See you around, bartender.”

You don’t look back. You won’t look back. You’re walking away, carried by your feet and better judgement. There’s a hook under your skin. You know, with a sinking in your chest, that he’ll be back. You don’t even know his name, but you know that much. Not because he owes you, not because he should.

Now, you’re interesting. And men like him never let interesting go.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You’re halfway through a paper when your laptop freezes. You stare at the spinning cursor. It’s the montage people talk of when they’re about to die. It is, in its own right, a death sentence.

“No, no, no,” you whisper, fingers hammering at the keys. Please, please, let it save you. The library around you is packed. Someone two tables over is crying, not-so-quietly, into their sleeve.

You drag your hands through your hair, tug hard at the roots, blink down the burn in your eyes. Coffee-stained hoodie, cracked phone screen, empty energy drink cans rattling in your bag—who’s going to give in first, your body or your mind?

Understandably, you’re a little too occupied to care about who’s around you. They’re all tired and equally as demotivated, so you think. Your chest gives a sick lurch to inform you otherwise.

Leaning against the archway across the room is the devil, arms folded, one ankle crossed over the other. He wears a dark jacket and a faint smirk.

No, you think wildly, almost laughing. What the fuck? This is not happening.

But it is. Your drunken spoils, in the flesh. He pushes off the wall and strolls toward you. You still don’t know his name.

“Didn’t peg you for the overachieving type,” he says when he reaches your table, voice pitched low enough it curls right under your skin.

“Jesus Christ,” you hiss, slamming your laptop shut. It’s already broken, might as well end its misery now. “Are you following me now?”

He raises both hands. “Relax. I’m giving a talk here.” He tips his head toward the auditorium doors down the hall. “Motivation, hard work, all that crap they pay me for. But you,” he adds, eyes flicking over the mess of your table, “you’re making us all look bad.”

Your chest is tight, your breathing ragged. You’re not sure if it’s rage or shame or exhaustion laced in your bones. Probably all three. “Look,” you snap, shoving papers into your bag, “why don’t you stick daddy’s money up your ass and find your way home. Go harass someone who gives a shit. Maybe someone with money, so they’ll be more sympathetic than me.”

When you lurch to your feet, he’s suddenly right in front of you. You see the lashes again, long and tantalizing, about to pull you to your death. You’re going to suffocate on his cologne.

“Burning out, sweetheart,” he murmurs. There’s no mockery in his voice now. “You should pace yourself.”

You shove past him hard enough your shoulder clips his arm. Asshole. You hope he trips down the stairs and chips his veneers. You know exactly why he’s here—it’s not the first time you’ve seen a man cracked open and raw on that barstool, trying to drown themselves in grief and whiskey. Men like him don’t let anyone keep hold of that kind of power. So yeah, you’re overworked, underpaid, and too close to your deadlines.

He’s going to be pulling on that string for a while. He’s going to enjoy dragging out your inevitable unraveling.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The next day at work, it’s quiet. You’re restocking glasses behind the bar. Your eyes are gritty from no sleep, brain still fried. Right now, you’re trying to figure out how the hell you’re going to make this month’s rent. Bartending is great when people give good tips. Today it’s hell.

Your manager taps your shoulder, frowning. “Hey, someone left this for you.” You turn and take what’s in his hands, an envelope with your first name on it. It’s handwritten, a surprising gesture of humility compared to the numbers on the check inside.

You stare at it for a long, long time. Long enough that your hands start to go numb. It’s made out to you. Enough to clear everything. Rent, loans, student debt…fuck, it’s enough to buy you a new car, too.

There’s no note or explanation. Although you’ve never seen his handwriting before—from Lando Norris, the check says, and this is how you finally get his name—you know somewhere across the city, Lando Norris is grinning like a Cheshire cat.

You find him outside a hotel, and obviously, it’s the most expensive one in town. You did a little research on him when you got his name. He’s from here. So he has a house, probably, and he’s at a hotel anyway because the cash burning his pocket is oh-too-much to bear. He’s stepping out of a sleek black car, sunglasses pushed into his hair, scrolling lazily through his phone. The world doesn’t touch him. He practically tosses his keys at you.

“What the fuck, man?” you burst out, voice sharp enough to turn a few heads.

Lando looks up. “Afternoon to you, too. I thought you were the valet.”

You stop in front of him and jab the envelope toward his chest. “You’re not a mafia boss, you know that, right? You can’t just—you can’t just throw money at people like they’re strays and then disappear.”

His brows lift slightly. “Didn’t realize helping was a crime.”

“Helping?” You bite back a laugh. “I know what you’re doing.” Your fingers tighten on the paper, knuckles white. “You want me to owe you. You want me tied to you. You think if you pull hard enough, I’ll snap, and—and what? You’ll own me?”

You see his eyes darken at the suggestion.

“Sweetheart,” he says. He’s talking to a scared cat, pushing off the car, closing the distance between you in one easy step, “you already owe me. You just haven’t admitted it yet.” 

He grins again, now with all his teeth, and says it so casually it makes your head spin: “I want you to be my sugar baby.”

“You’re insane,” you choke out, heat flooding your face. “You’re insane. They need to put you in a psych ward. You can’t say that to people you barely know—”

Lando tips his head slightly. He’s a cat watching the mouse try to run. “Why not? I always say what I want. You’ll figure that out soon enough.”

“Jesus Christ. You can’t just buy people. You can’t—”

“Can’t what?” he cuts in smoothly, like he always does. He seems advertent to letting you finish your sentences. “Help you? Save you some time? Give you a way out before you collapse in that library corner you’ve been camping in for weeks?”

You glare at him, but your chest is tight and you can’t force the words out.

“You’d be surprised,” he murmurs, smile slipping softer now, almost gentle. “What people are willing to let me buy.”

For one furious, helpless second, you want to slap him. Or start crying. Or do something, something that’ll make him feel out of control. What you do is step back, trying to muster venom, voice cracking on the words: “Go to hell, Norris.”

“Take your time, sweetheart.” He winks and hands the actual valet, who’s snuck up behind you two, a nice wad of money. “You’ll come around.”

The check burns in your fist, even as he vanishes between the golden hotel doors.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You crash through your apartment door at midnight, still tasting the metallic buzz of panic on your tongue. It might also be blood. You have a nasty habit of opening cuts on your lips.

The envelope goes on the counter, torn halfway open, the check peeking out, mocking you, taunting you. You slap a hand over your face and groan into your palm. What the actual hell is happening?

Your phone buzzes.

mara(malade) holy fuck

mara(malade) u alive? shift was hell

You practically sag with relief. Mara, your coworker—ex-roommate (now she’s got a bit more money of her own), bartender, chaos magnet, saint. You fire back a desperate come over please bring wine before you can overthink it. Twenty minutes later, she’s on your couch, a bottle of grocery store rosé cradled like it’s a baby.

“So,” she says, fumbling around for a bottle-opener, “what’s the emergency? You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Or committed tax fraud.”

You shove the check at her. She squints at it, reads the amount, and lets out a low whistle. “Damn, girl. Who’d you rob?”

“Lando Norris,” you blurt, and immediately regret it.

“You wish.” You don’t laugh, a sign something’s wrong and this is not a joke. She looks up, finger pointing accusingly. “Fuck me. Lando Norris as in Formula 1 driver, millionaire, owns-half-of-Monte-Carlo Lando Norris?”

You throw your hands up. “I don’t know about all the rest, but yes, Lando Norris!”

Mara lets out a snort of disbelief. “Okay, back up. Why is Lando Norris writing you a check that could wipe my student loans and buy me a new liver? Did you save his life or something?”

“I—” You collapse onto the couch, pressing your knuckles to your mouth. “He was drunk at the bar. Like, blackout. I stopped him from, I don’t know, choking on his own tongue? And now he thinks I’m some charity case or—”

Mara raises both brows, an impressed little smirk tugging at her mouth. “Babe, respectfully…why you?”

Your head jerks up. “Excuse me?”

“I love you. Don’t get me wrong,” Mara says, hands raised, “but he’s…him. And you’re.” She gestures vaguely. “You’re, like, you. You’re brilliant and broke and working three jobs and I know you, and no offense, but you have no chill. What do you have on him? Are you blackmailing him? Did you see him cry in the bathroom?”

Your mouth opens, then closes, useless. 

“Oh my God,” Mara cackles. “You did.”

You groan, dragging the sleeves of your sweatshirt over your face. “This is a nightmare.”

“Nightmare? This is the plot of every bad Netflix movie I’ve ever binged.” Mara unleashes the rosé with a nice pop. Hardly one for decorum, she takes a sip right out of the bottle. “So. Are you gonna cash it?”

You think of Lando’s smile—smug, that’s the best way to describe it—and the way he looked at you. To him, you were a puzzle he adored having his hands on. You think of the way your stomach twisted when he leaned in close. He already knew how you’d break.

“I don’t know.”

Mara’s grin fades. “Careful, babe. Guys like that, they don’t just give. They take.”

You know. God, you know. 

You spend the next hour pacing the apartment, a lunatic. Mara refreshes your instagram every other minute. She says it’s bad for you, but in your state, maybe she should be doing it instead. The current report: “Nothing. No messages, no tags, no random follows.”

You check the bar’s security footage on your phone and it’s just his blurry back slipping into a car.

You Google him (why did you Google him, why, it was normal the first time and now it’s dangerously close to stalking) and end up falling into a YouTube spiral. Lando’s podium interviews, Lando’s champagne-soaked parties, Lando’s Monaco apartment tour, and Lando’s something with his trainer that makes your stomach do an ugly little flip. Somewhere between the videos, Mara falls asleep on the couch, too tired to be your better judgement. But his number? His email? A way in? You have nothing. Now you’re the desperate one. You should stop, really.

“God, you coward. You can just drop a check on someone’s life and walk away? What are you, Batman? What am I supposed to do with this, frame it?”

You curl forward, forehead pressed to your knees. You laugh under your breath in that shaky, half-hysterical way that’s closer to a cry. You’re not even sure what’s eating you alive more—the fact that he did this, or the fact that some awful part of you wants him to show up again, wants him to walk back through the bar doors like it was just some normal Tuesday, like this hasn’t cracked open something huge and stupid and terrifying inside you.

He doesn’t, in that infuriating way of his, and you can’t find him.

When you fall asleep on the couch at four in the morning, the check is still there on the table, its stupid smooth paper whispering you’re already in too deep, sweetheart, every time you roll over.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Lando doesn’t plan on showing up again, that’s the thing.

He tells himself it’s done. Box checked, debt cleared, one good deed in a life otherwise soaked in champagne and carbon fiber and a mile-long string of bad decisions. Hey, he’s a marginally less shitty asshole. He’s sitting on the balcony of his hotel suite when it starts gnawing at him. 

You didn’t cash the check.

He knows because his assistant flagged it. That’s the kind of man he is now—detached, insulated, always three degrees removed from the mess he makes. He sends the money, someone else watches. He screws up, someone else cleans it. But you didn’t play the part.

He hasn’t gotten a thank-you (you told him to go to hell, actually) letter. He hasn’t gotten any gratitude, not even for the money (you told him to stick it up his ass). You didn’t even try to contact him. He leans back in the chair, tipping his head toward the sky. He lets out a slow exhale. There’s a bitter curl of something in his chest, and it has nothing to do with grief or guilt. It’s irritation.

He can’t stand that you saw him wrecked, sprawled across that bar, drunk out of his mind, cracked open and human. He can’t stand that you walked away. Now you’re out there, a loose thread in his neatly stitched life, and it’s driving him fucking insane. So yeah, he’s going to give it a few more days and then he’s going to go back. He hasn’t any intentions of apologizing or explaining. This is for him only. Lando Norris has never been the type to walk away without solving the goddamn puzzle.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

His patience pays itself over in gold.

You cashed the check. Of course you did.

He knows the exact day, in fact. His assistant texts him with a one-line update (“it cleared this morning”) while he’s halfway through an espresso and a team meeting he hasn’t listened to in twenty minutes. For a moment, Lando just sits there, thumb running along the rim of his cup, that devilish smile peeking out. You finally cracked.

Now he gives it three days before he shows up. He does it quietly, just him at the edge of the bar.

Your head jerks up when you see him, eyes wide. Lando feels it like a hit of adrenaline, clean down his spine.

“You.”

“Me,” he agrees. “Been a while, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that.” You’re rattled. “I didn’t—I only cashed it because—”

“Relax. No strings, remember?”

Your jaw works, teeth catching on the inside of your cheek. “Why are you here?”

His smile tilts with his head, so lopsided it might seem innocent. “To see you.”

“You don’t even know me, asshole.”

“But I know enough,” Lando says, lowering his voice. He knows your name, he knows your situation—well, he cleared all that—, and he knows you’re nervous. You’re breathing too fast. He leans on the bar, eyes half-lidded. He loves watching you scramble for ground. “You’re working two jobs. You’re barely sleeping. You think you can handle everything by yourself, and you hate that you can’t. “You’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop since the day you cashed that check.”

He hears you gulp. He waits a bit longer, two heartbeats, maybe.

And then, with a wicked little grin, he says, “So. How about dinner?”

“Dinner?”

“Dinner,” Lando says again. You’re sharing a secret. “You eat, don’t you?”

You flounder. When you get riled up, it wakes something inside him. Maybe that’s why he’s been coming back, not just because he needs to do charity, but because you entice him.

“I’m not your little project,” you snap. “You wanted me to take the money, I took the money, will you please just leave me alone instead of trying to…” You don’t want to finish the sentence. You can’t even find your arsenal of vulgarity.

“Seduce you?” Lando supplies lightly. “Mmm. We’ll see, won’t we?”

Before you can throw another insult, before you can spit him out, he’s sliding a card across the counter, tapping it once with his finger. You’ve seen this film before. You know what you should do next: push him aside, push all of this down so you don’t think about it. You’ve done it before, can’t you do it again?

“Tonight. Seven. Wear something dangerous.”

Like the shitbag he is, he just walks away.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

He came back and haven’t stopped thinking about it since. In your defense, it’s only been a few hours. Your shift ends and you half-stumble home. You shut the door to your apartment, sag against it, and press your fists to your eyes, hoping you can squeeze Lando Norris out of your skull.

You’re not a project. You’re not his charity case. You’re not going to whore it out for more money. Greed is dangerous. You’re satisfied. Do this one thing and let it go.

Your bank account is whole for the first time in a year. The past-due notices are gone. The constant panic is still there, but now it’s now less mechanical notices and more an unspeakable Brit.

Mara’s on your couch when you finally topple over. She’s digging into a bag of chips.

“You’re a mess,” she announces. “Also, is it true Lando Norris tipped you a down payment on a house?”

“Not a house. Not—” you’re muffled by the pillow that your face sinks into.

“Babe,” she says through a mouthful of salt and vinegar, “do you have any idea how hot, rich, and deeply emotionally unavailable that man is? He must really hate what you saw.”

“I don’t know!” you groan. “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know—”

You don’t tell Mara about the card he left. You don’t tell her that it’s still in your jeans pocket. You don’t take it out. If you do, you’re worried it’ll manifest into a contract with the devil, one you are a little too eager to sign.

You shouldn’t have worried so much, in retrospect. Now you’re face-to-face with Lando, your fear of the card is replaced by a constant need to fidget with the napkin. It’s brutally wrinkled. You’ve been twisting it in your fists since the appetizers.

Lando, of course, looks completely at ease. The glass turns slowly in his hand. You’re half-convinced he’s heard your every thought and is simply waiting for you to confess them.

“I can’t believe I came,” you mutter.

“You say that like I put a gun to your head.”

You scowl. No one’s looking at you, but you still feel eyes crawling over your skin. Maybe it’s just him. “You left me a check.”

“Mm. So I did.”

“Enough to clear my loans. Rent. Half my fucking soul.”

He leans in across the table, his halfway unbuttoned shirt dipping down in a way that strains you to keep your eyes up. “You’re welcome.”

You bristle. “You think this is charming? Is this how you get girls? Buy their dignity and then flash them a smile like they should be grateful?”

Lando’s brow arches. It’s not in surprise, because he was waiting for that, too. “Sweetheart—”

“Don’t.”

“Fine.” His mouth twitches. “Darling, if I wanted to get laid, I wouldn’t have picked the most hostile bartender in Bristol. You think you’re the first woman who’s ever told me to fuck off?”

It stings. “So why me?”

“You’re interesting.”

“Right. Like a bug.”

“No. Like a puzzle. One I want to take apart with my teeth.”

What the fuck? For a second, all you can hear is the soft click of silverware, someone laughing across the room. Did he just say he wanted to take me apart with his teeth? You were stupid for coming here. You’re going to beat yourself up about it later.

“I’m not a puzzle,” you snap. “I’m a person. A tired one. Who works too many hours and hasn’t taken a proper day off in months. You don’t get to walk in and play white knight just because you’re bored.”

“Who says I’m bored? Maybe I just liked the way you looked at me that night.”

You go still. “That night,” you say carefully, “you were a wreck. You were just another wreck. I had no idea who you were.”

He smiles, almost genuinely this time. “Exactly.”

You pick at the edge of your plate, push around your roasted carrots. They’ve offended you.

“I don’t want to owe you,” you say finally.

“Like I said before, you already do.”

He doesn’t smile. “You cashed the check. You came to dinner. And you’re still here. With me. Which means a part of you wants to know what happens next.”

You’re going to choke on all of this. “What do you want from me?”

All his smiles are wicked. This one is particularly knowing. “Honesty? Time. Your attention. Eventually, your mouth. But I’m patient.”

Egotistical, much? Demanding, much? You’re compiling a list of unflattering words to describe him in your head. It makes the issue feel a bit more manageable. He stretches out like a man completely at home, and says, “you think I’m dangerous. You’re not running. Either you’re stupid or you’re curious.”

You don’t have an answer. At least, not one you can say out loud. You finish your drink in one long, burning swallow and stare at the man across the table who just might end your entire life and make you beg for it.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Now, the flowers. You come home from work, fingers raw with cold. Your shoes are damp with spilled beer—another asshole; this one couldn’t even tip well—only to trip over a box sitting outside your apartment door. You stare at it for a full minute before crouching down. It’s ridiculous, a bouquet four times the size of your head and more colorful than any plants you’ve seen in your life. You think they might all be roses, but you don’t know your flowers very well.

The card is small, white, blank except for a few words:

For the tired girl.—L

You know that handwriting. You’ve seen it on the envelope that decided your fate. You don’t take them inside. You leave them in the stairwell, daring the universe to care.

The next night, he’s waiting. Not at your door, no, that would be obvious. He’s at the bar, same corner stool.

“Figured you’d show up.” Your voice is flat.

“Did you?”

You slam a glass into the rack a little too hard. “Didn’t figure you were the type to stalk.”

“I’m not.” Lando’s long legs kick under the bar. His designer coat is thrown over the adjacent stool. To him, it’s nothing. Probably sent for free, for exposure. “You left the flowers outside.”

“And?”

“And I don’t like wasting effort.”

At least he’s honest. “So what? You’re here to monitor your investment?”

“I’m here,” Lando murmurs, “because you’re the first person in months who hasn’t wanted something from me. Well, until you cashed the check.”

“Fuck you.”

He says, “careful. You might make me fall in love.”

You whirl on him. “Why me? You could have anyone. Any rich little hanger-on, any girl looking for a payday. Why this?”

“Sweetheart, we’ve already had this conversation. What are you drinking after your shift?”

You shake your head. “Not happening.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is bad news. You are bad news.”

“And yet here we are.”

Lando Norris loves giving things, like they might buy your interest. First the card, then the check, then the card again—fuck, you shouldn’t have used it—and now a piece of folded paper. What now, marriage papers?

No. On it is a string of numbers. His number.

He tugs on his coat. The smile he flashes you a smile so uncaring it makes your knees weak.

“Call me. Or don’t. Either way, I’ll see you soon.”

You don’t touch the note for the rest of the night. When you lock up hours later, it’s gone. You know exactly where it is: folded in the bottom of your bag.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

you you’re fucking insane

Delivered. Read.

Lando and you kept the number

You bite down on a curse, drop your head back against the fridge. Why the fuck did you text him? You’re crazy and deserving of whatever comes next, that’s what you are.

you what do you want

Lando a lot of things

Lando you’re at the top of the list

You huff under your breath, disgust growing under your ribs. You should end this here. You should block him, delete the number, set your phone on fire for good measure. But it won’t do anything, you decide. If he truly means to mess with you, it will do absolutely no good. He’ll show up at your job. He’ll do something about the very generous amount of money he gave you, even if he said “no strings attached.” You owe him, that’s the ugly truth.

you go bother someone else

Lando a few things, sweetheart

Lando you texted me first you’re so much fun when you’re madand besides. no one else keeps me entertained like you.

you i’m not your fidget toy

Lando not yet

You actually breathe when you hear he’s gone. Thank god for that millionare job he’s got, driving in circles. It’ll keep him out of your hair for a good amount of time, according to the information you’ve got online. Racing is a very demanding schedule, and now winter’s drawing to an end, he can’t afford to waste his time on you.

You work the bar in peace. You go home in peace. You wake up, no trace of him in the corner booth or at your barstool or leaning against your car with that maddening smirk. You’ve only seen Lando Norris a few times, yet every time you do, your heartbeat goes up like you’re about to die.

Of course, good things never last. His texts start coming a few days after he’s left your life.

Lando do you miss me yet

You roll your eyes so hard it hurts.

you i didn’t even notice you were gone

Lando liar

You toss the phone facedown on the couch. The next morning, there’s a knock on your door. When you open it, there’s a courier with a fucking bouquet. It’s the second one, somehow larger, more obnoxious. There’s no card this time.

You snap a photo and send it to him.

you seriously?

Lando what kind of asshole would i be if i left you alone completely

The next night, it’s a box, no flowers this time, just expensive chocolate you would never buy yourself. You don’t even like sweets. You text him anyway.

you stop

Lando make me

You grind your teeth. You tell yourself not to engage, but you can’t resist sending a:

you you know, i really wish i could

You don’t mean it with any connotation. You just wish he’d shut up and fall off a cliff or something. Then all your debt would be miraculously cleared. 

By day four, you’re jumpy, checking your phone when you swore you wouldn’t. Waiting for a message that makes you want to scream.

Like clockwork:

Lando you thinking about me? be honest

You flop down on your bed and exhale like you’ve been holding your breath for a week. You’re not supposed to want this. You hate him, you really do, and you know that’s true to a certain degree. When he comes by, your fists clench and you try to look anywhere by him. His name brings irritation, gets under your skin, and then it turns into something else. You heard someone say once that hate and love aren’t very different things. Bullshit. Hate and want, more so. That feeling, that despisement, is intoxicating.

Lando i’ll be back soon, sweetheart

You scream into your hands.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Mara nudges you. You don’t need to look up. He’s back.

This time, you have a response prepared. You smile coquettishly, the way you do when you need good tips. You aren’t privy to swaying your hips a little, maybe angling yourself so the curves of your waist are more enunciated. “Did you cry on the plane or after you landed?”

Oh, he’s glaring. You love that. It makes it easy to maintain your perfect picture of innocence, so eager to be happy. “Oh, sorry. Did you not want anyone mentioning Monaco?”

“Funny.”

You reach for another glass. “Did Oscar at least send you a thank-you basket for letting him win?”

Lando’s jaw flexes, a tiny tic. “You keeping up with the races now, sweetheart? Or just the standings?”

You grin. “Just the losses. Yours, specifically.”

Every inch of him is coiled tight. His shirt is rumpled and the sleeves shoved up. You notice how his throat his exposed, like he dressed in a rush, like he couldn’t stand being away from this city another second. Away from you. You’re flattering yourself. Maybe Monaco really did suck and he was so, so, sad he had to live in a million-dollar penthouse that he came back to this city. 

“You know,” he says, “I could’ve stayed in Monaco. Big party tomorrow. But no. I flew home.” His eyes flick over your face, unapologetic. “Guess why.”

Dry as sandpaper, you say, “miss your favorite bartender?”

“You make a mean whiskey sour.”

“I also make a mean ‘get out of my bar, you gosh-darned cunt.’”

He chuckles under his breath, but the sound isn’t fully natural. Lando’s holding something back “You’re good, you know that? Gosh-darned cunt, really?”

“At what?”

You see his knee bounce. “At getting under my skin. You rile me up like you’re trying to start something.”

“Maybe I am,” you say.

“Careful.”

“Is this the part where you try to scare me?”

“No.” His composure is back. He knows something—at the very least, he thinks he knows something. “This is the part where I wonder how long you’re going to pretend you don’t want me.”

Heat licks up your spine. You hate him. You hate how good he is at this. What would it be like, you wonder for a moment, to be rich and good looking and cocky as a man with a two-inch dick.

“You’re right, Lando. I want you so bad I’m shaking,” you say, voice husky. You let your eyelids lower, as if you’re staring at him in a post-orgasmic haze.

His expression changes.

Then you smile a toothy grin. “For a restraining order.” The snort that bursts out of him might be a little impressed.

“You’re insufferable,” Lando mutters, scrubbing a hand through his hair.

“And you’re still here,” you shoot back.

He slouches back on the barstool.

“Fuck, you drive me insane.”

You turn so he can’t see you biting your lip to keep from smiling.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The texts are still a thing, something to keep your wits sharp while Lando’s out of town. Getting to bicker and not having to see his face? The gods made this arrangement just for you. To be fair, you haven’t asked for anything aside from what he gives you of his own free will. He never says the words “sugar baby” anymore, but there’s an unspoken agreement that he pays. You can afford some of it, sure, but investments are better. You still have the rest of your life to spend money.

Your phone lights up on the counter. For one second, you consider ignoring it, you really do.

Then you swipe, anyway.

“Hello,” you say, with that voice you only use with him, like you’re about to fall asleep from how dull he is.

“Thought you’d never pick up.”

It’s great he can’t see your face. Your stomach dips, traitorous, and you are absolutely not bored by him.

“What do you want?” you mutter, pressing the phone between your shoulder and ear as you scrub harder at the countertop.

“Relax,” Lando says. “I’m not asking for your soul.”

“I think I already signed it away,” you quip.

There’s a pause. You can hear the faint sound of city traffic behind him, the rustle of fabric as he moves. You can picture it too clearly: his fingers at his collar, half-distracted, grinning to himself because to him, this is all a game.

“I need a favor,” he allows.

Your laugh is mean.  “Oh, do you.”

“Don’t get excited, sweetheart. It’s not that kind of favor.”

“Don’t call me sweetheart.”

You often send him chuckling, as he does now. “You’re really something.”

“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m going anywhere near your little circus. Whatever it is, I’m sure you have a dozen girls on speed dial who’d jump at the chance.”

“Sure,” Lando says smoothly. “But they’re not you.” Too cheesy. You won’t give it to him. Still, that lands somewhere you don’t want to admit. You pace behind the bar.

“Look, I’m not some accessory. I thought we already agreed on this. Fuck it. Dinner, okay. If you want to text me, I guess you can have that, asshole. If you have to show up at work, okay, but anything aside from that…”

“Calm down.” His voice dips, completely unriled which only makes you angrier. “It’s just an event. Monaco. Black tie. Tomorrow night.”

You stop pacing. “Tomorrow? Monaco, like, France? Which son of a bitch crashed into your car and gave you a concussion?”

“Mm,” he says. You can hear him smile. “It’s a shame you’re going to say no. Especially since I already had the dress sent over.”

“You what?”

“Check the door.”

You lunge for it, yank it open, and there’s a hotel courier on the stoop of your bar. The garment bag in their hand, something out of a fever dream. You whip back around, phone still pressed to your ear. “You’re insane.”

“Maybe. But you’re still on the line, sweetheart. I had my assistant email the plane tickets.”

“My god. This doesn’t mean anything,” you manage.

“Of course not. See you tomorrow.”

You wave away the courier weakly (they say no need for tip, it’s been covered) and toss the garment bag onto the barstool like it’s radioactive. Mara looks up from her ramen, mouth full, eyebrows shooting into her hairline. “Is that a dress? Please tell me that’s not a dress. Shit, that bag looks expensive.”

“It’s a dress. Kill me.”

Mara sets her wrinkled noodle cup down. “Okay, back up. Shit. You’re going to have to explain. You had a couture gown delivered to your workplace?”

“I didn’t say yes. I didn’t say no. I, fuck, I don’t even know what I said. He just called. I guess he knew I was still at work and sent it here instead.”

“Oh, he called.” Mara clearly wasn’t listening. It was valid, because you would’ve been very invested in your noodles too. “And you picked up. Shocking.”

“I was caught off guard, okay?”

Mara leans back, arms crossed. She’s settling in for a show. “Mm-hm. Off guard, even though you have his contact. And what exactly did our emotionally unstable sugar daddy.”

“He’s not my—whatever, he wants me to go with him. To this stupid black-tie thing. In Monaco—Mara, I’ve never been outside the country, and he wants me to meet more pissy millionaire with egos just like his? Goddamnit, I’m a blasted idiot. I should’ve hung up.”

“And now you’re here,” Mara finishes, “having a full-on meltdown over a man you keep calling a pissy millionaire, but whose name you’ve Googled so much your phone probably thinks you’re a fan account.”

You shoot her a betrayed look.

“Sorry, sorry,” she says, not sorry at all. “Just, are you sure you’re not into him? I don’t know, if you really hated it, you’d be gone.”

You throw a dirty, soaking towel at her. She catches it easily and puts it down. “Fine, fine. But listen, babe. You don’t have to go. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, even if you think he’s hot.”

“I hate you,” you mutter, but there’s no heat in it.

“Yeah, yeah,” Mara says, reaching over to ruffle your hair. “But you are going to text me photos once you get dressed. If you’re going to dance with the devil, baby, you might as well look smoking doing it.”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

At some point, after pacing the suite, after staring too long at the ocean view, after wondering what the hell you were even doing in Monaco, the dress ended up on your skin. Now you’re cursing again, fingers fumbling at the clasp behind your neck. It’s a bit worrying how well the dress fits you. You’d be more worried if you had a spare thought. Currently, you’re occupied with trying to get this fucking clasp doe.

There’s a knock at the door. You wonder who it could be, because the hotel people usually announce themselves. One culprit.

“Lando, if you come in here—”

The door swings open. How the fuck does he have a key?

“Relax,” he drawls, stepping inside like it’s his suite, his eyes sweeping over you in one slow, sinfully amused pass. Well, he did order the room. Maybe he had a spare he didn’t bother letting you know about. “I knocked.”

You scowl. “Get out.”

But your hands are still twisted up at the clasp and he sees it. 

“Need help, sweetheart?”

You spin halfway, trying to yank the zipper yourself, but it only slips lower, baring more skin, making you hiss under your breath. “No. Go away.”

He’s already crossing the room. There it is, that cologne, honey and saffron, so inebriating you almost close your eyes to savor the smell. It makes your pulse spike. You know that body heat amplifies the notes. Lando Norris is warm and right next to you.

“Stay still,” he says. His fingers brush yours, gentle yet firm, easing you out of the way. His knuckles graze your nape and your breath hitches before you can bite it back.

“I hate you,” you mutter, as his fingers work the clasp. You wonder if he’s done this many times before. The answer is probably yes.

“Mm,” Lando hums, mouth too close to your ear. “You keep saying that.”

He lingers, too long, his thumb ghosting over your bare skin. Your chest tightens; your hands flex at your sides.

“You think this is charming? Bursting into my room when I’m trying to change?” you snap, half-turning toward him. “Is this how you—”

He cuts you off, his eyes flicking down. “You’re beautiful when you’re pissed off.”

“Fuck you,” you breathe.

“Not yet.” Lando smirks. His voice is gasoline, about to set your insides—everything, really—on fire. You shove at his chest. He doesn’t move, but the contact jolts both of you. One hand is still on your back, holding you like he’s about to dance.

“You’re such an asshole,” you whisper.

“Guilty.” He lets go then. “I’ll wait downstairs. Ten minutes. Though I think you look ready.”

“And if I don’t come?”

Lando’s already at the door. “Oh, you’ll come.” His voice is absolutely certain.

You tell yourself you’re only going down because you need to tell him to his face you’re not doing this. That’s it. That’s the only reason. When you step into the elevator, your palms sweaty, you already know you’re lying to yourself.

The car is waiting outside (probably his, judging from the custom initials ‘LN’) with, you note, tinted windows. Lando’s hair is raked back. 

“Took you long enough,” he says, opening the door with a theatrical little flourish.

“Fucking wanker,” you say. There’s no malice behind it.

The door closes with a soft, expensive thunk. You press yourself against the far side of the seat. You can still feel the heat of him even across the car, the subtle glance he steals when you cross your legs, the way his hand ‘accidentally’ finds your thigh instead of the gear shift. 

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what?” You want to wipe that smirk of this face. “Like I can’t decide if I want to ruin you or worship you?”

There’s a thought you have often when it comes to Lando Norris. What the fuck? You, who cusses every other sentence, have more decorum than this man. And he’s saying all this with a straight face. It might be sincere, if you didn’t know him any better. You dig your nails into your palm. “You’re such a fucking nightmare.”

Lando looks away from the road. He’s way too confident to be driving safely. “Maybe. But you’re still in my car, wearing my dress, going to my party. You can tell yourself whatever you need to, sweetheart, but you already chose.”

You stare out the window, jaw tight, watching the glittering coastline smear past in a blur of gold, watch it turn into a cathedral of money and ego. Crystal chandeliers, champagne fountains, women in dresses you’d need a mortgage to afford. Well, now you have a willing bankroller, maybe you don’t.

Lando doesn’t so much escort you as claim you. His hand remains at the small of your back, hot breath brushing your ear as he murmurs names you don’t recognize, introductions you don’t want. You slip away from him the moment he’s distracted by some sponsor, ducking toward the balcony again for air. As it turns out, you’re not alone.

“Big crowd, huh?”

You turn, startled, and find a brunette against the railing, glass of water in hand. His tie’s loose, hair slightly mussed like someone’s been messing with it all night. His smile is easy, genuine, the kind that makes your shoulders drop without meaning to. You let out a breath. Lando gets you all tense.

“Yeah,” you breathe. “It’s a lot.”

Alex chuckles. “First one?”

“Does it show?” 

“Only a little.” He grins. “But you’re doing fine. Better than I did my first one. I tripped over a server. Champagne everywhere.” 

Your laugh is genuine, this time. That makes the first nice person you’ve met all evening.

“I’m Alex, by the way.” He offers his hand and you shake it, thankful for the small, normal gesture in a night that’s felt anything but.

You introduce yourself and he brightens. “Oh, you’re with Lando tonight?” he asks lightly, with only curiosity. “How’d you two meet?”

You freeze for half a second—how do you even explain that? That he crashed into your life like a hurricane, arrogant and infuriating, with a check big enough to clear your debts and a smirk that’s been haunting your sleep ever since?

“Long story,” you hedge, a little helpless. “Sort of accidental.”

Alex chuckles, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Sounds about right.” He nudges your shoulder gently. “He’s not all bad, you know. A menace, sure, but not all bad.”

You shake your head, smiling despite yourself. “You’re too nice.”

“Well, someone has to balance him out. You okay, though?”

Hell no, you want to say. Your mouths are already forming the words, before you smell that goddamn cologne. It’s like the electrical smell that precedes a storm, a warning. You turn and there’s Lando. 

His eyes flick to Alex, then to you. “Making friends without me, sweetheart?”

Alex winks. “Just keeping her company, mate.”

Lando’s mouth falls into a frown, before he catches himself. “Right.” His gaze cuts to you. “Come dance,” he says, and it’s not a request.

You glance at Alex, completely helpless. He just squeezes your arm gently. “Go on. He’s useless without you.”

He leads you into the throng of people, fingers pressing into the silk at your hip. “Why’ve you been hiding?”

You twist, glaring up at him. “I wasn’t hiding. You dumped me for the wolves.”

“I was making the rounds.”

“And now what, you want a medal?” you snap. God, your heart is about to give out, as his thumb strokes a slow, deliberate line against your side. He spins you into him, just like that, the room tipping for half a second. His chest brushes yours. You feel the hard line of his arm at your back.

“Tell me,” Lando says, “how many of them have come over tonight? Kimi, Charles, George…they’re all wondering what you’re doing with me.”

“Makes sense,” you mutter, “so am I.”

“You’re not a model. You’re not anyone’s plus-one. You’re not chasing some influencer deal.” He lists them, all while keeping his eyes on you. “And you’re the only one in this room who actually wants me to fuck off all of the time.”

“Where’s this going, Norris?”

The edge of his thumb grazes your jaw. “Don’t lie to me. You think I don’t see you looking? You think I don’t know why you stayed?”

You snap, “I stayed because you booked me a goddamn plane ticket. And you keep showing up. And you don’t let people walk away.”

He leans in until there’s barely any air between you. You can’t breathe without inhaling every bit of him. “Neither do you. Couldn’t leave me without getting the last word, could you?”

“You’re so full of shit.”

“I know. You like to tell me that a lot.”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Inside the suite, it’s all hush and gold.  You sigh, dig your thumbs under the straps of your heels, and nearly groan when they drop to the floor. God, why did you tolerate them? Your feet are crying with relief. 

He clears his throat.

Lando.

He has one hand braced above his head, elbow to the doorframe, watching you with a kind of feigned indifference. You can tell it’s fake because his searching eyes are anything but lazy. There’s a flush high on his cheekbones, from champagne or the night air or maybe just arrogance. His curls are mussed in that artful, infuriating way that makes you want to bury your hands in them and tug until he curses, letting out a guttural sound in spite of himself.

Fucking hell. It’s obscene, really, how beautiful he is. How sculpted his mouth is, the flash of gold at his throat, though gold isn’t the right word when you look at his tan skin. You should not be noticing any of this. You should not be noticing how his shoulders fill out that jacket or how his chest looks under the thin black shirt or how his lips parted, just slightly, when you caught his gaze.

“Why are you still here?”

He pouts. “Missed you.”

“You barely even know me.”

He pushes off the door, saunters in. “That’s the thing. Don’t know you, but I do know you’re the only one who doesn’t treat me like a trophy.”

You shake your head. “‘Course not. Trophy’s a little too nice to describe you.”

“You’ve been pulling away.”

You bite the inside of your cheek. “No I haven’t.”

“Come on, you can do better than that.”

“You can’t just fly me to Monaco, drop me in a five-star hotel, and expect me to—”

“To what?” His voice drops. “Want me?”

Your throat clicks when you swallow.

“Don’t.” You sit on the edge of the bed. “You don’t get it, do you? You walk into a room and it bends around you, like you’re a fucking messiah. I’m just trying to keep my head on straight.”

And then he’s in front of you, crouching, one hand on your knee. Lando’s always had beautiful eyelashes. You’ve known since you first saw them that they would be the end of you. Now, they frame his eyes, those mesmerizing pools of light. They never stay one color. They might actually be clear, only reflecting what you want to see in them. He looks at you like you’re the moon, the stars, the sun. 

His fingers are warm. Solid. For a moment you wonder what it would be like if you stopped fighting this, if you leaned in, if you let him win.

“I don’t want you to keep your head on straight. Not with me.”

“Maybe I should’ve been nicer to you.”

The adoration lingers in his eyes, but there’s a glint. “Oh, I like you mean.”

God help you, you want to kiss him. You want to shove him back on the bed, crawl into his lap, see if his mouth tastes like champagne or heat or both. You want to know if his hands shake when they touch skin or if he’s always this sure of himself.

All you can do is whisper, “Are you staying?”

His fingers curl a little tighter around your knee.

“Unless you tell me to go.”

You’ve never seen him so compliant to your wants. It does something to you. You’ve been demanding to him, always swearing, always telling him to go fuck himself. Still, he’s patient in a way that makes you ache, beautiful in a way that makes you furious. 

You might owe him a moment. Just one, you swear to yourself. Just this once.

You pull him by the collar. He’s shocked, lips forming a perfect circle before they crash into yours with the urgency of someone who has waited far too long. Honey and saffron. Honey and saffron. You’ve associated it with him so long you’re certain someone wearing the same cologne is enough to make your knees buckle in public. His mouth is soft and prying, bringing out a soundless intake of breath from you. His mouth melds to yours.

Lando’s lips part, his tongue teasing against yours. You pull back, just enough to catch your breath, but he follows, his lips trailing down your jaw, then your neck. It’s like he can’t get enough.

You grip his shoulders, trying to steady yourself. It’s useless. Everything about him is a magnet, pulling you back in. You see him in his euphoric haze, his lowered eyelids. He makes a noise like a whine when you leave, as if he physically cannot bear being separated from you, and you think you might actually drown in want. 

“Lando,” you whisper. God, your senses. Your head feels light, dizzy with the taste of him.

“Mm, sweetheart?” His voice is rough, his thoughts are elsewhere.

Just once, you told yourself. Just once. 

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You’re still half-wrapped in the robe you swore you’d only wear for five minutes after your shower, hair damp, skin bare and a little too aware of itself. But it’s so comfy, like being wrapped in a cloud, and you really can’t bear to take it off.

The door flies open once more, only seconds after you hear the buzz of an accepted keycard. Lando Norris is hardly a gentleman. He doesn’t even knock! 

What he is, however, is a vision of casual, expensive sin—white tee hugging his shoulders, curls damp like he’s only just come from his own shower—okay, those are places your thoughts absolutely should not be going. He smiles. He knows exactly how pretty he looks standing in your suite.

“What are you doing here?”

“Good morning to you too.”

You glance at the clock. “It’s noon.”

Lando gives a loose, one-shouldered shrug. “You looked like you might sleep all day. Figured I’d save you from the crushing boredom.”

You narrow your eyes. “Wait. Why did you even book the hotel for longer? The event is over.”

For a second, you swear he’s surprised you noticed. “I wanted to show you around. Monaco’s wasted on you if all you’re seeing is room service menus and the inside of a suite.”

You fold your arms tighter, suspicion prickling up your spine. “Are you serious? You could have just texted.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I wanted to see your face when I said it.”

Your pulse jumps. Stupid, traitorous heart. You still need to talk to him about that whole kiss last night. Is now a good time?

He pushes off the doorframe. “You coming or not?”

Once more, the everlasting train of no, I really shouldn’t, what the fuck? You should remind him you’re not some prize to be paraded around, not some girl in his endless rotation of models and influencers. You’ve done that many times now. But it doesn’t matter. The real problem is, he knows you’re not, and it’s why you’re still standing here.

“Fine,” you mutter, grabbing your bag. There’s probably some sunscreen (expired, years old, from the last time you saw the light of the sun) and a water bottle in there. “But if you start acting like you own the place, I’m leaving you on the yacht or whatever ridiculous thing you have planned.”

“I’ll do my best. Deal.”

As you brush past him to the closet, you feel his fingers ghost lightly over your back. It’s nothing overt, just enough to set your skin humming, a sensation that’s only amplified when he pulls away.

“By the way, you look good in that robe.”

You nearly trip on the marble floor. Fuck. And he’s gone, before you can have him answer any of your other questions.

The café he drives you to is perched on the edge of the cliffs, all whitewashed stone and trailing flowers. Below, the sea stretches blue and endless. It’s so stupidly picturesque you almost laugh when you get out of the car.

He notices. “Yeah, yeah,” Lando says with a crooked grin. “I’m disgustingly good at this.”

“You? No, you probably have an assistant on speed dial for this kind of thing.”

He presses a hand dramatically over his heart. “Sweetheart, you wound me. You think I need help to be this charming?”

Inside, you settle at a little table by the window. He orders for you without asking (of course he does) and the worst part is, he gets it right. When the waiter leaves, his eyes flicker to yours.

“So. About that kiss.”

You busy yourself unwrapping the sugar packet. Hey, you were going to ask about it. He keeps beating you to the punch. Fucker. God, you want to punch him. “It wasn’t a thing.”

“Oh, wasn’t it? Didn’t feel like nothing to me. Actually, didn’t sound like nothing to me either.”

You flush, scowl at your coffee. There’s a foam design on it, swirling hearts, little stars, and you have an itching suspicion that’s not the way they make all the coffees. “I was, well, I don’t fucking know, man. I was tired, it was late, you were being—”

“Devastatingly handsome? I recall being on my knees for you, too, if that helps.”

“A pain in the ass.”

Lando’s grin widens. He sets his foot against yours under the table, light and shameless. “You know, you can just admit you like me. We’re past pretending, sweetheart. You’ve already travelled the globe just to be with me.”

You kick at his ankle half-heartedly, to which he recoils, then returns. “In your dreams.”

“Oh, you have no idea what’s in my dreams.” His voice drops. You have to look away because, honestly, you don’t trust yourself enough to keep making rational decisions.

“You’re such a fucking menace.”

Lando’s foot nudges yours again under the table, a teasing little tap that makes you jolt. “Relax, sweetheart. You’re safe with me.”

“You’re lucky this is good coffee, or I’d have thrown it in your face by now.”

He grins, all teeth and trouble. “You like me like this.”

“Fuck off.” You kick his ankle harder, but it’s not much of a deterrent. His leg just shifts, stretching out under the table, and now the toe of his shoe is tracing up your calf. “Christ, Lando.” You squirm in your seat, swatting at his knee under the table. That’ll stop him. No, it doesn’t. It only enhances that shit-eating grin.

“What?” he says innocently. “Just stretching my legs.”

“Stretch them in your own damn space,” you hiss. There’s no bite in it, not really, not when your skin feels hot where his foot brushes yours, not when he’s watching you like that.

“Tell me you didn’t think about it last night.”

You scowl. “Bullshit.”

“Mm.” His foot hooks lightly around your ankle. “Didn’t deny it, though.”

You groan and drop your head into your hands. “For fuck’s sake, you are relentless.”

“You’re cute when you swear at me.”

You flip him off without lifting your head.

“Adorable,” he says, chuckling.

After you have another cup of coffee (it really is that good, you wish you could bring it back to Bristol), he finally gets you to leave. “So, tell me. You’re wearing all this, and we’re on a beach in Monaco. Aren’t you hot in that?”

“What do you mean?” you ask, trying to sound unaffected, though you can already feel the heat creeping up your neck.

“I mean, that dress. You’re practically suffocating in it. You should’ve gone for something lighter. You know, something a little more practical for the heat.”

His gaze traces over every inch of you. “It’s a fucking dress, not a snowsuit, Norris,” you say, feeling that faint heat rise between your legs from his words alone. 

Lando steps closer to you, matching your pace, his shoulder brushing against yours. You want to push him away, to keep some distance. “I don’t know, sweetheart. You’ve got all these layers on. Don’t you want to take them off?”

The way he says it, so casually, so confident…you freeze.

Lando sees you hesitate. “What, you can’t handle the heat? I could help you cool down, you know.”

“No, we are not shagging in a public space.”

“Uh-huh,” he hums, and his hand brushes yours. “Who said anything about shagging? You’re not fooling me. I can see it in the way you’re walking.”

“Don’t,” you warn him.

“What? Don’t what? Don’t call you out for being so hot and bothered? You’re practically begging me to notice.”

You can’t stop the sigh that escapes your lips, not when his words are like a drug running straight through you. You step away from him slightly. Like all the other attempts you’ve made to clear yourself of his presence, it’s futile. He’s there, his voice in your mind, the ghost of his touch on your skin. He’s still right there. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You trail behind Lando as he unlocks the door to his apartment. You already bumped into two other drivers, one you don’t know, the other who looked like he belonged in a museum. Some French name, you forget. His girlfriend was also exceedingly pretty.

You don’t know what you were expecting, maybe sleek bachelor minimalism or cold, show-off money. But it’s surprisingly cozy. There are a few race helmets. The scent hits you next, nice laundry detergent layered with leather, engine oil, and beneath it all, unmistakably him. Sweet like honey.

Lando drops his keys into a bowl, sauntering off toward the kitchen. “Want something to drink?” he calls over his shoulder.

Your eyes wander. There’s the massive racing simulator near the window. It’s absurdly expensive, obviously. Framed photos of him on podiums, some with friends you half recognize (Max, you think his name is, Lando’s best mate.) Some are just his grinning face in a champagne shower. Photos, photos, trophies…a small handbag, perched on the back of the couch.

Next to it, delicate sunglasses, definitely not his. They’re too small to cover his face. And a hair clip, one of those pearly ones, girly and pink, resting on the coffee table like it belongs here.

You frown, fingers brushing the edge of the bag without thinking. “Uh…Lando?”

“Yeah?” 

You pick up the clip, turning it over in your fingers. “Whose stuff is this?”

For the first time, there’s a pause. He stills in his movements. Then, “Oh, uh, Magui’s.”

You blink. You repeat, “Magwee?” 

He pokes his head out of the kitchen, a bottle of water in one hand. “She’s a friend.” Lando’s tone is light, breezy. “Mostly PR.”

“Mostly?” you repeat.

“Why? You jealous, sweetheart?”

You scoff, dropping the clip back onto the table. “No.”

“Mm. Could’ve fooled me.” 

The handbag. The sunglasses. That hair clip. Now it’s flipped onto the other side, you see gems spelling out ‘Magui.’ Magui. Who the hell is Magui? More accurately, what the hell is Magui? Who even names their kid Magui? Is it short for something? Marguerite? Magnolia? Some cool European thing?

You watch Lando move casually back into the kitchen, one hand braced on the counter as he opens the water. You cross your arms, aiming for indifference. “Whatever. It’s not like we’re a thing anyway.”

His brow twitches. You almost miss it, because then he’s sauntering toward you. “Not a thing, huh?” he murmurs.

“Exactly.”

“Hmm. Funny.”

“What’s funny?” You glare at him.

“That you care so much for someone who’s not a thing.”

You answer, too quickly to seem casual, “I don’t care.”

“Sure, sweetheart. That’s why you’re glaring at a hair clip like it killed your cat.”

You open your mouth, splutter, “I don’t even have a cat—”

Lando plucks the clip from the table and twirls it between his fingers. “She’s just a friend,” he says, “we have fun at events. She knows the game.”

The game. Right. You know exactly what game. And yet, the thought of him with someone else—all golden skin and quiet smiles and easy laughs, God, you can imagine her already—punches straight through your stomach.

“Good for you.”

“You know, she always said I should bring someone to the next Grand Prix.”

“So?”

“So…” He flashes a slow grin. “Guess I already have someone, don’t I?”

“Lando, I have a job. A real one. With hours and a boss and everything.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t need a job. You have me.”

Your heart trips, stumbles, tries to right itself. “No, not really.”

“I wouldn’t lie to you.” He stretches, shirt riding up to reveal a cut slice of abs, just to be a menace. “When’s the last time you took a real break? You deserve one.”

“When is it even?”

“Miami. I’ll take care of everything.”

“Hell no. I already followed you to Monaco. I got to go back, I have assignments due. Absolutely not.”

“Please,” he drawls, sinking onto the couch and one knee brushing yours. “You’d look so good on my arm. You can do your work when we get back to the hotel, baby. It’s not all day.”

You try not to feel your insides go liquid. “I hate eagles.”

“What?”

“Miami. Eagles. I don’t know.”

His eyes crinkle as he laughs. “You would’ve loved Logan.”

You pull a cushion onto your lap, hugging it to your chest. “Is there another one? Somewhere…less Miami?”

“There’s always another one. But you might have to stay longer.”

“Whatever. Okay. This one.”

His whole face lights up. “Yay,” he says, and it’s so cute your heartbeat picks up. He brushes his fingers over your wrist like he can’t help himself. You hope he doesn’t realize.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

“Baby.”

You ignore him.

“Baby.”

You click aggressively on your document. It’s crazy that planes have WiFi. Thank god Lando’s rich, you can’t imagine how much it must cost to get this good of a connection.

“Sweetheart.”

You sigh, yanking one headphone out. “What, Lando?”

He’s sprawled across the leather seat across from you. He has one socked foot propped on the table and his hoodie looks very comfy. You’ve been working for two hours. Come nap with me.”

“Some of us have to pass our classes.”

“Some of us are world champions.”

You roll your eyes. “Go flex that on someone else.”

He does, apparently. Miami hits you like a slap in the face, like it’s annoyed you’re taking up so much of its mistress’s time, the mistress being Lando. You can tell he loves this place. You do not. You’re not going to miss the heat, the flashing cameras, the chaos outside the airport. Lando’s security team pushes through the crowd as reporters yell his name. 

“Who’s this? Lando, is this your girlfriend?”

“Miss, what’s your name? Are you coming to the paddock, too?”

You’re stunned into silence. Lando’s arm finds itself around your waist, pulling you into his side. “Alright, that’s enough, guys,” he says coolly. He wears a practiced smile as he steers you through the crowd. He’s probably done this thousands of times. You barely remember how you get to the car. 

“Breathe,” Lando coos, brushing his thumb over your knuckles.

You shoot him a flat look. “You owe me so much coffee for this.”

So, you’ve never watched Formula One—aside from that one time Mara sent you a video of someone passing Lando—but this looks a lot more stressful than that clip. Speaking of Mara, you pick up your phone and dash a quick message:

you bloody hell i hate this place

She doesn’t see it. She’s still sleeping, which is much nicer than your current situation. Cameras flash in your face. Women with glossy hair and model-long legs float past in designer dresses and tiny heels that shouldn’t work on gravel but somehow do. You grip the pass hanging from your lanyard so tight your fingers ache.

Lando’s hand is still on your lower back, an anchor you can’t leave. To be honest, you don’t want to. He’s the least irritating thing at the moment.

“Smile, sweetheart. You’re with the coolest guy here.”

“That is so debatable. We walked past Florence Pugh five minutes ago.”

“I said guy.” He grins, one-handedly signing a cap handed to him, posing for a photo, laughing with a sponsor. Lando looks perfectly at ease here. The attention craves him.

You just want to disappear.

“Hey!” a voice cuts through the noise. You turn and nearly crash into Alex Albon, beaming, casual in his shirt. “Hey, hey. Haven’t seen you in a bit.” There’s a gorgeous woman next to him, who he gestures at and says, “This is Lily.”

“Hi Lily, hi Alex.”

You hear someone say “Babe!” and it’s sure as hell not Lily, because her mouth hasn’t even opened yet. Your head snaps up. A girl with sun-streaked hair and model cheekbones walks up and kisses Lando’s cheek.

“I’m Magui,” she purrs, eyes flicking over you dismissively. She’s already decided you aren’t a threat.

“Oh. Hi,” you say, because what else is there? You hear yourself, how flat and awkward you sound, and you want to punch a wall.

Lando glances at you, a little smirk tugging at his mouth. “You know Magui. Magui, careful, this one tends to cuss.”

This one. Not your name. Not even a soft tease. Just…this one. Magui laughs like she’s heard this joke before and tucks herself closer to him. You’re going to lose your mind.

When the clock ticks closer to the start of the race, you’re left largely to your own devices. There’s no Lando to latch onto now.You try not to look for Magui—you try—but your eyes keep flicking toward where she disappeared into the swarm of PR people. The lights go out.

It’s chaos into Turn 1. Lando’s there, starting in fourth (or something, maybe you heard wrong) carving his way through like a man possessed. P3 by lap 10, P2 by lap 25, and you can hear his engineer crackling through the headset:

“Let’s bring this home.”

Lap 40. P1.

P1.

You know, it would be a lot more interesting if you understood this a little more. P1 is at the front, you know. Everyone’s glued to the screens, to the track. You’re just worried he’s going to crash. Fuck, these cars are loud. And fast, but you already knew that. By the last ten laps, the whole McLaren garage is on its feet, the mechanics shouting, banging on the pit wall. 

When the checkered flag waves, it’s like the world explodes. The crowd is screaming. The McLaren crew goes ballistic and you’re just frozen, stunned, chest so tight it hurts.

P1. Miami winner. 

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

The champagne is still stuck to him after the podium spray. His cheeks hurt from smiling, his throat’s raw from shouting over the team radio (“fuck yeah, well done, team!” Or, more accurately ‘f***yeah, well done team!) because the FIA censors everything. You know, he almost slipped in a few more expletives, thanks to your bad influence), and there’s only one thing that could make his day better. Lando’s eyes dart through the crowd. Everyone wants a piece of him. Everyone but you.

Where the hell are you?

A hand wraps around his arm. “Lando! Oh my god, you were insane out there!” Her arms are around his neck, perfume sugary-sweet. She presses a kiss to his cheek, laughing for the cameras, pulling him in like she belongs in this moment. He stiffens.

“Magui,” he says quietly, trying to peel her off. He’s still looking for you and she’s blocking half of his line of sight. “Not now.”

She just giggles and loops her arm tighter. She’s basking in the spotlight, it’s too late to get her to snap out of it. Lando’s patience snaps like a wire.

“Magui,” he barks. It’s sharp enough that she flinches. “Did you say something to her?”

Her eyes go wide, faux-innocent. “What? Who?”

“You know who. Where the fuck is she? Did you say something to her? Did you screw this up?”

Magui’s lips part in a little gasp, that wounded look she pulls out when it’s convenient. Hell, the cameras are going to love this. “Lando, I didn’t—”

He swears under his breath, before yanking her limbs off him. He twists on his heel to scan the crowd again. The garage. Check. The gates. Check. The pit lane. Check. All the people chanting his name, all the cameras flashing. Normally, he loves it. Right now, none of it matters. None of it means a damn thing if you’re not here.

I just won Miami. Why the fuck aren’t you here?

He kicks at the ground.

“Maybe she left,” Magui suggests from behind him. Her voice irritates him, a little stab between his ribs.

His fingers twitch. Is he panicking, right now? His breath shallows, oppressed by the noise. His mind is a whirl. Did you see something? Did Magui corner you? Did you think you weren’t wanted here? That you didn’t matter? He can’t breathe, it’s like your presence is the only thing keeping the rock off his chest, and now you’re gone its plunging, weighing him down and—

You. His whole body kicks into motion before his brain can catch up.

There you are.

He hears someone yell his name, probably for an interview, maybe for a photo, and he ignores it, almost knocking over a cameraman.

He only wants you.

You looked pretty overwhelmed, shoved forward by the crowd but still somehow trying to disappear. 

“Fuck,” he breathes, and then you’re in his arms. Lando buries his face in your hair, the scent of you cutting through all the smoke. His fingers tremble a little where they clutch at you. He was going insane looking for you. “I couldn’t fucking find you. Jesus, you.”

He pulls back just enough to see your face. His large hands cradle your jaw. 

“I just won Miami,” he whispers, forehead pressed to yours. “And the only thing I could think was where the hell is she—” Lando surges forward, hungry, desperate. All these people and he just wants you to anchor him. 

You flinch back, hands on his chest.

“Lando,” you whisper, lips just brushing his. “no. Not here. I don’t want…”

He readjusts, placing a small kiss on your forehead. “Okay. Okay. Not here.”

“Mate!” You’re not seriously leaving, are you?” He hears Max holler. You back off instinctively.

“I don’t know,” he says, glancing back at his best friend, then at you. “My girl���”

Max whistles low, “Didn’t know we were calling her that yet.”

Lando flips him off half-heartedly, before pulling him into a quick hug. “Shut up.”

He side steps toward you, but you beat him to it, pushing off the wall, sliding in beside him, and you’re trying so hard to be relaxed but he can read it all over your face: the tight shoulders, the too-wide eyes, the quiet little “ugh” under your breath when another cluster of reporters swarms over. “Hey, hey.” Lando ducks his head to you. “You good?”

You sigh. “Fucking hell, man. Sure. Let’s go. I’m a bartender, I’ll make drinks for your cocky ass or something.” You wave a hand. Your eyes flick to the cameras and your mouth pulls tight again.

“That’s why I keep you around, sweetheart.” Before Lando can say more, the media hits.

“Lando! One quick word!”

“Lando, what changed after quali?”

“Who’s the mystery girl, Lando?”

“Will you be celebrating together tonight?”

“Is this your girlfriend? Are you confirming?”

You freeze. You’re plastered to his side. Lando leans into the mic with a smirk, his arm around you. “You’ll have to wait for the documentary, mate.” He’s still grinning when he steers you out of the crush. Obviously, a win brings a hell lot of adrenaline; but this, this right here, with your fingers knotting nervously into the hem of his sleeve?

This is what’s making him dizzy.

Lando’s enamored with how you lean on him, how your trust in him is something sacred. It’s something earned, something he has carved slowly with every word and every action. From pity to hatred to tolerance to…well, you kissed him, didn’t you? There’s a sweetness in the way you depend on him now, even if you can’t do it without cursing him and his mother, too. 

He doesn’t want you to slip away, to ever feel like you could. It’s simple, really. Lando just wants to keep you close and needing him. Because you don’t, not all the time, not like all the others. He’s earned this. 

To hell if he’s going to let it go.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

There’s plenty for him to focus on at the club, with bodies packed tight. There’s bass rattling his chest and too many drinks being passed around. Lando’s friends are out there, hollering, getting wasted, but he can’t look at anything but you.

You in that dress, that little black thing that glimmers every time you move. It rides scandalously high on your thighs, straps slipping just barely off your shoulders like they’re exhausted from the fight to stay up. Your skin practically glows under the club lights. You’re flushed from dancing, laughing, drinking. God, the way you laugh with your head tipped back. Lando swears it’s rewiring his brain. He’s never seen you so carefree before. Usually, you’re all sweet behind the bar, testy when its necessary, but that’s all to make the customers happy. You’re happy right now and its out of duty to no one.

“Jesus Christ,” Lando mutters, eyes glued to you. He doesn’t even hear Max at first.

“Mate.” Max elbows him. “You coming or just gonna stand here having a religious experience?”

“Fuck off,” he says jokingly. His eyes never leave you.

He’s not even drunk, not really. He’s had one, maybe two drinks, something shoved into his hand after the podium. And there was another raised in a messy toast when Max pulled him into a corner, but Lando feels wrecked.

Every inch of his skin is hot. He can’t stop touching you, can’t stop following you with his eyes. It’s like his body has locked onto yours, marking his territory. As usual, a palm on the small of your back. His fingers like to graze your wrist when you reach for a drink, almost like a nice bracelet. The way you fit under his arm, the way you lean into his space without even thinking about it, it’s all setting him on fire.

His mind is a mess:

You smell like vanilla and summer.

You feel like absolute sin pressed up against him.

He wants to ruin you. Desperately wants to pull you into a dark corner and shove you against the wall, mouth hot and desperate on your throat, hips pressed so tight you’ll feel him in your bones. He wants to peel you out of that dress, watch it pool at your feet while you look at him. Wants to sink his teeth into the curve of your shoulder, leave marks no one else can touch, can claim. He wants to leave them there for the whole world to see.

But more than that, more terrifying, is this ache in his chest. It’s not just lust, unfortunately. Lust is easy to deal with. If he just wanted to get in your pants, it would’ve ended that second time you met, when he was sober and at the bar. He wouldn’t have bothered to keep hounding you.

It’s the way you look at him like he’s just Lando, not the man on every billboard. It’s the way you call him out on his bullshit, the way you refuse to laugh at his terrible jokes, the way you chew on your straw when you’re tipsy and overthinking. It’s the way you make him feel seventeen again, half-drunk on adrenaline and dizzy with wanting. The way he turns clumsy and nervous and utterly gone for someone who could shatter him with a word.

And when you come back from the bathroom, eyes lost until they land on him, when you light up like the fucking sun just because he’s looking at you…Lando feels his knees damn near buckle.

“There you are,” you tease, somewhat out of breath from dancing, “thought you were supposed to be the life of the party. Disappointing.”

“Yeah? You gonna dance with me, sweetheart, or just torture me from across the room all night?”

Your mouth comes dangerously close to his ear. “You look thirsty.” You press your drink into his hand. “Try not to choke.”

“You’re fucking killing me.”

“You love it.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs, “I really do.”

“You know what I keep thinking about?” His fingers trail up your spine, making you shiver. “How fast I could get you out of this dress. How good you’d sound falling apart for me. How bad I want you right now.”

He feels your body react to the words. “Lando,” you warn, “behave.”

“Not a chance, baby.”

Max whistles as he passes, wiggling his eyebrows. “You two gonna come to the afters, or are you skipping straight to dessert?”

“I’m a bartender, Max, I am the afters,” you laugh, shaking your head. Then, lower, so Max doesn’t hear, “c’mon. I owe you a dance.”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

(SMUT STARTS HERE)

You step into the elevator, your heels clicking against the polished floor. Lando follows, eyes hungry, already deprived of what he’s been begging for the entire car ride. You know you’re going to regret holding him off. Well, it’s going to be enjoyable on your part.

“Did you plan this, or are you just cruel by nature?”

You turned your head away, as not to distract him from the road. Who’s flustered now?”

His fingers slid a little bit higher. “You want me dead? Well, you’ll get your wish if you keep acting like this.”

The car jolted forward. Lando’s hand tightened instinctively on your thigh. God, his hands were too close to your core. You meant to shift away. If he knew how wet you are, it’d be the end of your ego and dignity. 

“Lando.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he rasped, “I know, I know.” But his hand was still there, his thumb tracing idle, maddening circles against your skin.

The elevator dings, and the doors open to reveal the plush hallway. It doesn’t matter that you’re not inside the suite yet. Lando’s decided it’s close enough to get started, plump lips on yours. He tastes like the last drink you mixed for him and you feel a flush of pride at that. He’s what you make him, isn’t he?

Your arrogance doesn’t last very long, because he smirks against your mouth when he draws out a lewd moan. Fucking hell. Lando’s hands roam your body, shoving you against the walls as the two of you stumble to the door. Hopefully, you’re not causing too much of a commotion for the neighbors. 

“Lando—” you choke out. He has a special reaction to his name, a brief moment of lucidity, and the door is finally open. He spins you around, pushing you against the door in order to close it.

His fingers find the hem of your dress, hiking it up to reveal your bare thighs. 

“Lando!” you hiss again, “what are you doing?”

There are no more questions out of you, though, because you’re rendered to brief whimpers as his fingers brush against your entrance. He’s shoved your panties aside in the haste to get to you. Almost as an afterthought, he loops two fingers around each side and pulls them down your legs. You step out of them and allow him to resume.

He’s back at your folds, fingers sliding up and down the wetness, almost in preparation. Having collected enough lubricant, he dips inside, curling up to hit that sweet spot. It’s astounding, really, how easily he did so. As if he knows you already, inside and out. You sigh, your head falling back against the door, gaze falling away from him. In, out, in, out. You hear nothing but your own ragged breaths and the sound of his fingers pumping against your slick.

He doesn’t like that. Lando's other hand wraps around your throat, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. He angles his hand so he grasps you under the jaw. You can only keep your head up now. “Eyes up here, sweetheart,” he growls, his fingers picking up pace. 

Your hips buck against his hand, body begging for more. 

"Such…a fucking asshole," you pant.

Lando chuckles, his thumb finding your clit and drawing his name, over and over, like that’s enough to bring you to exaltation. 

Then he stops, the cruel thing he is. Lando pulls out his hand, leaving you empty, legs bare to the air around you. His fingers are dripping, and he makes sure you watch him as he takes a taste. “Mm. Sweet. Well, come on, sweetheart. Can’t have our first time be against a bloody door.”

God, you’re trembling. You have to hold your thighs together, desperate for friction, desperate for something to be where he once was. He’s ridiculously calm about all of this. You’re the one panting for more, he’s the one in control.

Lando watches as you stand before him, your body flushed with arousal. You know he can see your nipples, hardening under the dress’s sheer fabric. You didn’t wear a bra tonight. Bold choice. He’s noticing now, by the growing bulge in his pants.

"Clothes off," he commands. “I want to see you."

You hesitate for a moment, then your fingers fumble for the dress and yank down the flimsy material in one go. Lando's gaze never leaves you. He sits on the edge of the bed expectantly.

"Come here.”

You obey. You look at him, swollen lips, dark eyes, and wonder if he’s about to kiss you again.

“On your knees.”

Oh.

The words sink in. Want tightens, low in your belly. You drop, hands brushing the floor for balance, a shiver curling up your back as the cool air hits your skin. 

How long has it even been since you’ve given a blowjob? You can barely remember, and that sharp flicker of panic slices through your arousal. What if it’s not good enough? What if this isn’t enough to hold him here?

No. You can’t have that. Now that you’ve finally let yourself give in, you’re going to make the most of it. Make him happy. Make him stay. God knows what you’d do without him, now you’ve gotten used to him. It’d be like trying to give up an addiction once you’re already useless without it.

You lift your eyes, fingers brushing lightly over his waistband. The way he looks at you—half-wild, like you’ve undone something inside him—makes the nerves fade a little. You work his belt loose, the sound of leather sliding through metal too much to bear. It only makes you think about what that belt would sound like against your skin. Stop daydreaming. He’s right there.

Above you, Lando’s breath hitches. When you glance up through your lashes, his hand is flexing at his side as a way of holding himself.

“Fuck…” he grunts, “baby, get on with it. Please.” His eyes are pinned to you, disbelieving. Like your mouth on his cock is something he’s wanted too long, and can’t quite believe he’s finally getting. You ease him free, feeling the weight of him in your hand. Bigger than what you’ve had before, definitely. You’d say six and a half, seven? Seven and a half? It’s hard to compare when your mind is so foggy.

“Look at you.” His thumb brushes your cheek, lingering at the corner of your mouth and prying open. “So fucking pretty like this.”

The praise hits you hard. Wetness pools again. Fuck. Such a tease. You let him guide your pretty mouth to his hardened erection, and lick at it, just a bit. You his breath punch out a muttered curse, his hips jerking just slightly.

“Jesus—”

You move slowly at first, widening your mouth and taking in him, bit by bit. You find your rhythm, your tongue tracing delicate patterns, learning every twitch of his body. Every choked-off sound that spills from his throat is a sign that you’re doing good, a beautiful sound you’re going to be replaying the next time you’re alone in your room. His fingers thread into your hair, tight enough to sting. For a second you wonder if he’s going to pull you back, but he just holds you there. 

You try something new. You lick a slow line along the underside, feeling him twitch in your hand. His thighs tense on either side of you, the muscles jumping as he swears again. 

“Fuck, baby,” Lando groans, his hair teased with sweat that trickles down his neck. He’s golden, even now, a god in your palm. All yours to toy with. You have no doubt that if you asked for anything right now, he’d give it. His chest heaves, a flushed pink creeping down his body. He’s not even undressed yet and you can only dream about what’s under that shirt.

When you take him deeper, hitting the back of your throat, his whole body jolts. You hear a choked sound breaking out of him. The sound reverberates through his whole body, and in turn, through yours. 

“Look at you,” he pants. You’re drooling a little from his sheer girth and he wipes it away. “So good for me, fuck! So good, baby.” You bob your head up and down, ignoring the urge to gag, trying to take his whole length. That does it.

“Shit—shit—baby—” His fingers yank hard on your head, wanting even more of you, wanting to fill you all the way, so nothing can ever come between you two. “Fuck, sweetheart, I’m—wait—”

He comes in your mouth, hot and salty. You have to move your head back so you don’t choke on all of him. You’re sure some of it makes it out of your mouth, drips onto your chin. He doesn’t mind. Lando drags you up roughly.

You’re dizzy, drunk on him. On the taste of him in your mouth, on the way his hands grip your hips like he’ll die if you move even an inch away, on the broken sounds that slip out of him like he’s never been this unmade.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, voice shaking, mouth grazing your jaw, your cheek, your temple like he’s blessing you with every kiss. “No one’s ever—”

And you realize it’s not even about sex, not anymore. This arrangement? Fuck, all the little details are lost in every moment you spend with him. He murmurs mine, mine, mine between half-kisses like a prayer.

“God.” Lando says, burying his face in your neck, breathing in your scent. Really, it’s mixed with his, the culmination of whatever the hell this is. “You’ve fucking ruined me.”

You’re ruined right alongside him, nails digging into his shoulders, thighs weak, lips parted. This hasn’t even started yet. No desperate, gasping stretch of bodies fitting together. You’ve only gotten the slightest taste of him, he only the slightest of you. There’s so much you don’t know yet, so much to discover.

“Come here. You’re mine, yeah? Say you’re mine.”

Your hands clutch at his shirt. “Yours.”

The sound he makes at that nearly undoes you both.

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Now it’s hours later. You’ve lost track of time. His shirt’s somewhere near the minibar, your dress is long discarded. The sheets are twisted, dirty, pulled halfway off the bed. Lando’s asleep. His arm is locked tight around your waist. Unconsciously, his head is still in the crook of your neck. You can feel him, his breath hot against your skin, and judging by how ragged he sounds, someone’s having fun in his dreams.

His fingers keep sliding over your skin, as if the act calms him.

“Baby, baby,” you whisper. You can’t do this either. Might as well get him up, let him have the real thing. “Baby.” You turn around and the loss of contact is enough to wake him. His eyes flutter open, dazed, beautifully clear.

He croaks your name, the one thing he’s certain of. His lips graze yours, then your shoulder. 

You’re drunk on him. The warmth of his skin, the way his hands know exactly where to go, the softness under all that cocky charm. You haven’t left the room in days. Neither has he. You reach back, threading your fingers through his messy curls, and Lando groans, pressing his mouth to the side of your neck. 

There’s a knock at the door. You both freeze, blinking at each other. You’ve forgotten anyone else exists.

“I’ll—I’ll get it,” he says, voice hoarse. Lando scrambles into sweatpants, hair sticking up wildly. You admire the view, the way his chest peeks out under the hastily buttoned shirt. He opens the door just enough to grab the tray, mumbling something to the waiter you can’t hear, and then he’s kicking the door shut again. He’s grinning like an idiot.

“Saved the day,” he says, collapsing onto the bed beside you. “Hero.”

The food goes mostly ignored. Fries are stolen between kisses; champagne is knocked over onto the carpet, bubbling and forgotten. He feeds you a piece of a burger with his fingers, his thumb brushing your bottom lip, asking for permission. You allow him, swallow the food, and yet his thumb lingers. His eyes are wide and pleading.

God, you’d do anything for him.

You glance up at him through your lashes, and the look on his face nearly knocks the breath from your lungs. Hours after his last orgasm, his pupils are once again blown wide, lips parted slightly. Slowly, you part your lips and let his thumb slip inside, just a little, your tongue barely grazing the pad.

The sound Lando makes is low in his throat, instant. His free hand fists the sheets, knuckles going white.

“Fuck,” he rasps, eyes flicking from your mouth to your eyes and back again. “Sweetheart…”

You pull his thumb deeper, hollow your cheeks a little, tongue brushing lazy circles over the tip. Your teeth grazing just enough to make him flinch and tighten his grip on the bed. You know exactly what it’s doing to him.

“So pretty for me, all for me.” he says. When you finally release his thumb with a soft, wet pop, his control snaps. His hands are on you in an instant, dragging you into his lap, kissing you open-mouthed, messy.

You can feel him, hard and aching beneath you. Lando’s not the only eager one here. You roll your hips, trying to find the right feeling. You rise up just enough to tug his sweats down, both of you breathless with laughter and gasps, trembling with how bad you need this, need each other. He’s perfect, red and angry, glistening with pre-cum.

Of course, this is no longer the first time. Your bodies know each other, have found the map to ecstasy. You sink onto him in one smooth plunge, swallowing him whole. Lando curses low and sharp, head falling back against the pillows. 

You move slowly at first, a teasing roll of your hips. You spell his name, starting with the ‘L,’ a long roll downwards, then jerking to the side. It has him nearly sobbing beneath you, but you can’t stay slow for long. He bucks up into you, chasing every drag and slide. You hear his skin on yours, a slapping noise that reverberates around the room, his voice underneath you, pleading, praising, cursing. You bounce in his lap, legs on both sides of him.

And when it’s over, when you’re both boneless and shaking in the sheets, Lando’s hand slides lazily up your spine, caging you close. He starts, “oh, sweetheart, you’re—” but the words fall away. 

You’re both still catching your breath when his phone, forgotten on the nightstand, starts to buzz insistently. 

Lando groans, trying to ignore it, but it keeps buzzing.

Finally, he gives up and blindly grabs for it.

“Hello?” He winces. “Oh. Hi, yeah. Yeah, I know.”

You watch him, propped on one elbow, smiling as you stroke a hand down his chest. You draw little hearts on his abdomen, watching him breathe sharply with every ticklish sensation. He shoots you a helpless look as your hand wanders lower.

He says again into the phone, “I know I can’t stay in Miami forever…yeah, okay, okay, I promise.” Lando throws the phone to the side. “I can’t, technically, but I can bring you around, yeah?”

“Don’t talk about work,” you feign a yawn. “It’s boring me.”

“Oh yeah? Does this bore you?” he drawls, before shifting further away from you, towards the end of the bed. You raise your eyebrows, unsure of where this is going, before he pulls one of your legs across him, sitting you firmly on his face. “Relax, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

His tongue laps at you and you squeal.

(SMUT ENDS HERE)

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

You’re hunched over your laptop on the hotel balcony, knees tucked to your chest. The blue glow of the screen painting your face. Hot air sticks to your skin, plastering your hair across your forehead. Your inbox is overflowing, your Google doc blinking a half-finished sentence back at you, and every five minutes your school portal pings another notification. One of your professors has flagged your last assignment as ‘significantly late.’ You close the tab fast. That might make it less real.

Inside, the room is still dark. Although it’s nearly noon, blackout curtains are drawn shut. Lando’s sprawled across the bed, scrolling aimlessly through his phone. He looks peaceful, like he doesn’t have a single deadline to his name. He probably doesn’t.

“Come back to bed,” he calls, not looking up.

You shake your head. “I need to finish this. I’m behind.”

Then: “Behind on what? You’re on vacation, sweetheart. You’re with me.”

“I still have work,” you say, and a little bit of temper makes its way through to your voice. “Just because you hauled me off to another country doesn’t mean my life disappeared.”

You hear the sheets rustle. Then he’s there, barefoot and warm behind you, crouching down so his chin rests on your shoulder. He kisses just below your jaw, softly, and the resulting absence only deepens your craving.

Lando murmurs, “you’re always working. Even when you’re with me.”

You stiffen. “That’s because I have a degree I need to get. I can’t afford to screw this up, Lando.”

His arms slip down, under your arms, around your waist, and he nudges the laptop closed with one finger.

“Hey,” he says, “no one’s asking you to screw anything up. But you’ve been so stressed. You haven’t smiled properly in days.” His lips brush your collarbone. “Don’t you want to just breathe for a second?”

You hesitate. You want to say no, because breathing for a second is not going to help you get anything done. You want to say this is important. But Lando has a voice of silk, wrapping around your ribs, and the laptop is already closed. He shifts so he’s in front of you, and now his hands are warm on your thighs, slowly maneuvering upwards, upwards.

“I can help you. Just take a break. Come lay down with me. We’ll get someone to handle whatever you’re behind on. I’ll make some calls. Easy.”

“You can’t just make calls to fix my classes.”

“You’d be surprised,” Lando says. It’s a joke, but not really. “Baby, you don’t need to kill yourself over a few grades. You have me now.”

“I like working,” you say. It sounds weak.

He kisses you again, on your cheek. Both your hands are in his. “You like overthinking.”

“Come on. Ten minutes. No school. No stress. Just me.”

Ten minutes of heaven. Ten minutes turn into twenty, thirty, and you’re in Lando’s bed for at least an hour before you check the clock, maybe longer. He’s in the shower. Your phone buzzes on the pillow beside you.

mara(malade) babe you can’t be dying on me

mara(malade) hellloooo?

mara(malade) ANSWER MY FT

You answer, flipping the camera up too fast, revealing the luxurious headboard and the messy room behind you. There’s evidence of room service on the nightstand, a folded tablecloth under unused cutlery. Mara clocks it immediately.

“No. Are you in his hotel room again?”

You push your hair out of your face. “Yeah, just for a bit.”

“Don’t shit me.”

“I’m writing,” you lie, moving the laptop slightly to show the open doc, never mind that it’s been untouched for hours. “I’m almost done.”

“Dan told me you missed discussion again. Twice.” Dan is Mara’s boyfriend, a few years younger, and he’s in your class. What a snitch. You didn’t think he’d be watching your every action.

“I’ve been traveling. It’s not a big deal. I’ll catch up—”

Mara frowns. A little crease forms between her brows. “Babe, you said that last week. I’m just worried.”

You shift, tugging the blanket up higher even though it’s not cold. “I’m fine. I’m going home after this one. Just this race.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. I’m not going to drop everything for some guy, okay?”

You hate how Mara looks at you. She doesn’t believe you. Her eyes are tired, emphasized by the smudged eyeliner she likes to wear, like she’s already mourning something you haven’t lost yet.

Behind you, the bathroom door clicks open. Lando walks out, a towel slung low on his hips. Steam curls out around him. He sees you on the phone and mouths who is it?

You wave him off and turn back to Mara. “I’ve got to go. We’re leaving for the track soon.”

Mara’s expression doesn’t change. If anything, she looks more resigned. “Okay. Text me tonight, okay?”

“I will.”

You hang up before she can say anything else. Lando’s standing at the end of the bed now, rubbing his hair dry with another towel, bare chest still damp.

“Everything good?” he asks.

You nod. “Yeah. Just Mara being dramatic.”

“Come here,” he says. “Come here.”

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

Mara’s voice had been calm on the phone, but her words weren’t. “Just come back for a little. A week. You’re slipping, and I don’t mean your mental state—God, I don’t even want to touch on that. Babe, please. You’re scared to check your grades, aren’t you?”

You didn’t answer that part. You just sighed and said, “Okay. Yeah. Maybe a few days.”

When you told Lando, he didn’t say anything at first. He just looked at you for a while, not moving, and you were a little scared why you couldn’t read him. Then he nodded, real slowly. “Right. If that’s what you want.”

“It’s just a week.”

“Sure.”

You tried to kiss him before you left and he let you. His hands stayed in his pockets, though, and he turned away before you got into the car.

You feel it as soon as you land. A few hours pass with no text from him. No morning check-in, no “you up?” not even a dumb joke. You text him first. He replies and it’s short.

lan have fun with your school thing

You stare at your phone, heat prickling the back of your neck. Is he mad? He said it was okay. You try again later, sending a photo of the library, something neutral. This time, he doesn’t reply.

You lie awake that night wondering if you should’ve just stayed. If this means he’s over it. Over you.

You check your phone again. Still nothing. And you’re cold in your own bed, wondering when your own life started to feel less like yours and more like something you borrowed from him.

From your manager:

“Hope your break was fun. Let me know how many extra days you’ll be taking. If you’ll be back.”

You sit frozen in your desk chair, rereading the line over and over. You hadn’t even realized how many days you were gone. You think of Miami and Emilia Romagna as a blur of cameras, hotel sheets, and Lando’s breath against your skin. You think of how quiet it is now. How he hasn’t even texted today.

From your professor:

“Please come by office hours ASAP. I’m concerned about your last two assignments.”

You close the laptop. Everything feels loud. Your room looks like someone else’s now, dust on untouched things, half-opened drawers. You haven’t unpacked. You haven’t even told your friends much—ha! Aren’t you a regular comedian, what friends are you talking about? Mara? And maybe that one other co-worker who kept getting the same shifts as you, Lils? Mara, Mara, who has been so good to you. Mara keeps sending messages, checking in. You brush her off, saying it’s okay. You’re not sure if you believe that.

Lando hasn’t called. It’s worse without him here, without the promise that he can make it go away with a little wave of his finger. No. Fuck him. If he can’t even call, he can go with Magui and make her problems go away. You can do this. You haven’t needed him up until now—why does it have to change?

You show up to Professor Wilk’s office five minutes early. You tap your fingers against your folder, trying to remember what it feels like to be someone who’s on top of her work. Her door creaks open before you knock. “Come in,” she says. Her voice reveals nothing, but you know she’s already seen your grades. You sit down stiffly across from her desk.

“I’ll get right to it. You’ve been slipping.”

You open your mouth. No excuse comes. Nothing that doesn’t sound ridiculous, at least. Sorry, I was off on vacation with my sugar daddy. Sorry, he said he would solve it and I believed him. At least until I realized the problem was big enough and maybe I should take care of it myself instead of crawling back into his bed. Sorry.

“I know the beginning of the term was strong,” she continues, looking at your file. “You wrote one of the best first essays I’ve read this year. And now you’re missing half your citations. You left a whole section blank.”

You swallow. All she’s saying is true. “I’ve been dealing with some things.”

Professor Wilk nods. “We all do. I’m not here to punish you. But I can’t help if you won’t tell me what’s going on.”

You hesitate. You think of telling her that you flew across the world with a man who called you sweetheart before he called you anything else, who you knew first as a wreck that couldn’t get himself out of a pub. That you forgot what day it was because he kissed you like it was the end of the world, like there was nothing else he had to do. That your job is probably gone and your friends are worried and you haven’t had a proper thought to yourself in weeks. That it’s all been Lando this and Lando that and Lando please come back.

You tell her, “I’ve been distracted.”

“I can see that. I’m going to offer you a rewrite. A clean slate for your last essay. But I want to see you in my office every week until finals. Deal?”

You nod. “Deal.” Already, you’re wondering how you’re going to manage this. Lando’s not going to fly you back every week, is he? There must be limits to even his abilities.

She watches you for a moment longer. Gently, she says, “Don’t lose yourself for someone else. You’re too smart for that.”

You wonder if she knows. Not exactly who, maybe, unless she’s seen the tabloids. After all, Lando Norris isn’t exactly nobody in Bristol. But the way you look right now, tired, expensive sweatshirt that doesn’t belong to you, the faint shadow of a bruise under your collar…maybe she doesn’t have to know everything to know enough.

You leave the office quietly.

lan everything okay

You pause and stare at the singular message. There are no question marks, even though he’s asking things. And this is the first time he’s texted. Maybe three days since he responded. What does he want now?

you she offered me a rewrite

lan great

you but i have to meet w her every week

The read receipt pops up almost immediately. No reply, though, and you know what this means. He only confirms it.

lan so you’re staying longer?

you only a few more days i want to get things under control

lan ok then, sweetheartdon’t let them stress you out yk you don’t have to prove anything to them

you i know

lan come back when you’re ready

lan or just come back now

── ⟢ ・⸝⸝

a/n: part 1! i have beef with tumblr, why did it make me split my beautiful story into two parts.

[joaniscruzing]

off the record - ch.1

HELLOOOOO everyone! i am BACK from a long break with a fic! yay!

i realized very quickly that this fic was going to be a long one, so i thought i'd break it up into parts. CURRENTLY, there's another 4k in my google doc rn, but i thought "hey, why not get some interest going?"

anyway!!! comment to be tagged in the next chapter, and let me know how you like it! i love feedback!

special thanks to @moesthoughts for proofreading!

summary: you're offered a summer job at ESPN as a sports reporter and get paired up with paige.

warnings: nothing scandalous, i'd say there's a lot of world-building in this chapter? i added a few ocs in this fic just because it felt wrong just getting into it. I'll add a divider for where the paige stuff begins for those who are eager. I PROMISE THOUGH, THE REST OF THE FIC DOESN'T HAVE THIS MUCH EXTRA DETAILS.

enjoy babes 😘

You quickly gulped down some coffee before brushing your teeth for school. It was mid-April, and you had quite the daunting task for you: finding a summer internship.

“Hey, don’t sweat this,” your college roommate Anya reassured you, “you look the most professional I’ve ever seen you in the three years I’ve known you, and I just know you have a hell of an elevator pitch ready to go, yeah?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I guess! I just really need to be ready, you know? AI’s really taking off, and if I’m not on my game, they’ll probably give my job to a robot or something!”

“Alright,” Anya answered, chuckling, “haven’t you made the dean’s list every semester? And haven’t you been editor of our paper since last year, being the youngest editor of the paper in our college? You’ve got this! I mean it.”

“Thanks, Anya,” you said, smiling and taking a deep breath.

 “Wish me luck!” you exclaimed as you exited your shared apartment. To avoid being late, you scurry off to your car, quickly putting your bag in the passenger seat and turning on the radio. You put on a news station, hoping to find some things to make small talk about at the career fair, which, lucky for you, was about half an hour away.

Why did this apartment have to be the best one Anya and I could afford? You thought to yourself while exiting the parking lot of your apartment complex. As the car ride went on,, your thoughts about theapartment location drifted away, you began to think about the road, and whatever your news station was rambling about.

“-And to all of you women’s sports fans out there, last night was a BIG night for UCONN’s Paige Bueckers! The 23-year-old NCAA champion was the first overall draft pick and will be joining the Dallas Wings for the next WNBA season!”

You weren’t super into sports yourself, but you knew about Paige Bueckers. A Connecticut native yourself, you grew up with your parents usually tuning into the UCONN basketball games, both men’s and women’s. Hell, you were brought to the last championship parade for the women’s basketball team back in 2016. Your dad had sent you an Instagram post a few days ago with some highlights featuring Paige Bueckers, to which you had just liked and moved on with your day. You heard through the grapevine that some representatives from ESPN would be at your career fair, but you weren’t necessarily crazed at the thought of it. In fact, you were hoping to land an internship at the New York Times, where you would be helping others deliver the most topical headlines of the day.

Although you knew you wouldn’t need it, you still kept the small fact you had learned about Paige Bueckers in the back of your head, just in case you blanked out on your very-prepared speech you had.

Just then, you pulled into your college’s local arena, where your summer endeavors were soon to be discovered. You popped one, two, three mints in your mouth and touched up your makeup in your car mirror. If anyone was going to get an internship today, it was going to be you, the biggest academic weapon at your college. 

After a few pep talks, you finally exited your car and walked into the overly air-conditioned arena, then being met by a daunting array of tables, all with one collective thing to offer: your future.

You understood that the position at the New York Times was going to be a popular choice among your peers, so you made a beeline to the small table that they were occupying. After, you began the long wait, which wasn’t that bad. In fact, you were thankful for the time you had to recite your pitch and pull yourself together.

About forty-five minutes passed, and you finally made it to the front of the line.

This is it. You’ve got this, you thought to yourself.

“Hi! My name is-”

“Let me guess, you want the internship?” you heard, immediately cut off by the man working the table.

“I’m definitely interested! I believe that I’d be a GREAT pick, and here’s why: I’m currently-”

“As much as I’d love to hear about your long list of qualifications, we already found someone to fill the position. I’m sorry. But if you’d like, you can always apply to be an assistant this summer. You know. Getting coffee and whatnot,” the man said, giving you a smug smile.

Your stomach dropped. 

An assistant? Getting coffee? You took the application, as it was still an opportunity, but so many other thoughts swirled around your head.

Three years and for what? To be brushed off like that? What’s even worse, by a man? You thought to yourself as you left to get some fresh air. You knew you would have to go back in there, as there were probably numerous other internships you could acquire. There was the Washington Post, CNN, NBC, and so many more that were just running through your head, as fast as a racecar going cross-country on an empty highway.

After a mini-crashout in your car, a small drink of water, and a quick phone call with Anya, you felt ready enough to enter the arena again. You weren’t going to leave that parking lot without an internship that was equal to your abilities. No man was going to tell you that the internship you were going to get would involve fetching coffee.

You confidently strided back into the arena, where you were met by the overwhelming array of tables. Unwilling to allow it to ruin your conviction in your abilities, you chose to examine each table.  Luckily, you were met with a few companies that were willing to hire you, and even went as far as to give you their card. Just as you were about to leave, you heard a voice yelling out.

“Hey! You! Don’t leave!”

“Me?” you turnedaround, pointing at yourself.

“Yes!” The tall woman who was chasing you down finally stopped running. After dusting herself off and adjusting her hair, she addressed you.

“I heard you at the career fair today. And I mean it, you are exactly what we are looking for.”

“Who?”

“Oh, pardon me. I’m from ESPN. After a short phone call with my boss, we’d like to offer you a summer job.”

Just the word “job” made your eyes bulge out of your head. You were flabbergasted to say the least. You were confident you’d exit with an internship, but a job? And at ESPN, to make things better.

“Really?” you spoke, trying to conceal your excitement.

“Yes! Don’t worry, the interview process would be waived for you, as this is super last minute, but you would have to attend media training for the next few weeks,” the woman explained, stepping aside with you to continue the conversation.

“Media training? Like, I would be on TV?”

“Yes! You’re going to be assigned to cover the entirety of the 2025 WNBA season. Hopefully, you’ll be good to go at the beginning of May. That’s when preseason starts.”

“I’m sorry, the WNBA?” you pinched your arm, trying to wake yourself up from whatever bizarre dream this was.

“Yes! Although it isn’t an extremely followed league, our team is expecting another rise in viewership this season.”

“Really?” you asked, intrigued, “I swear viewership for women’s sports has been the same for my whole lifespan.”

“You follow women’s sports?”

“My parents do, at least. They’re big UCONN fans,” you answered. A nanosecond after, you remembered what you heard in the car. Oh, you were in for a long conversation after your last statement.

“UCONN, huh?” your new employer asked, “So I’m sure you’ve been hearing about Paige Bueckers a lot recently.”

“Oh yeah, she got the first draft pick last night! Dallas Wings, right?” Thank god for that local news station.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re a superfan, right?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I heard it on the radio this morning.” Your new employer smiled at your comment, and handed you her card.

Angelica Hastings. That would be a name you’d remember for decades. After all, she was now the first person to support you in your official professional journalism journey.

“Well, you have the job! Be prepared to be immersed in the world of women’s basketball this summer!” Angelica said, shaking your hand. You quickly gave her your business card and left for your car. Only God knew what surprises this summer held for you.

۝

About an hour later, you finally made it back to your shared apartment with Anya. You nearly twisted your ankle running up the stairs to tell her the news.

“ESPN???” she exclaimed, almost as astounded as you were.

“YES! And I get paid! The only bad news is I need to cram for finals, as I need to start media training in two weeks.”

“Well, looks like you’ve got to get cramming.”

The next two weeks flew by. Between packing, contract signing, and finals, you had almost no room to breathe. What’s more, you took it upon yourself to begin researching all of the top new rookies in the WNBA, as Angelica had told you that you’d probably be interviewing or covering them most of the time—or at least when it got to more niche stories. There was Hailey Van Lith at Chicago Sky, who seemed to be doing pretty well for herself. There was Kiki Iriafen, who was one of the best forwards in the country, at the Washington Mystics. And obviously, there was Paige Bueckers. You assumed as a new woman to the job, that she would be off-limits to you, given that she quite literally was the face of women’s basketball rookies at the moment, so you chose to focus on other players. After all, you were sure that you would be learning all about the star guard in your first hours of work.

The second you finished your finals, you said a very quick goodbye to Anya, promising her to call her every night that you’d be gone, and then you tookyour bags—which had been packed for weeks—and drove off to your first location: Bristol, Connecticut, the very headquarters of ESPN. After checking in to the hotel that they provided you, you quickly changed into your professional wear and entered the building. You checked in at the front desk, asking for Angelica, who guided you to her office and motioned for you to sit down.

“How was the drive?” Angelica asked, taking a swig of her coffee.

“Not bad,” you admitted, playing with your newly done nails, “I do have to say, though, I forgot how nasty Massachusetts drivers are.”

Angelica chuckled.

“Well, lucky for you, you won’t have to worry about Massachusetts drivers at all this summer. I’m assigning you to cover the Dallas Wings’ rookies, and then as the season goes on, probably one of the California teams. The Dallas Wings didn’t have the best season last year, so we’re not expecting too much from this year either.”

“Didn’t Paige get drafted there?”

“Yes, but one player cannot single-handedly save a whole team,” Angelica said, typing on her laptop, “We’ll have to see how the other rookies do too.”

“So I’m going to Dallas?” You asked, trying to formulate an image of your summer in your head.

“Not exactly. You’ll go to Vegas this week, since that’s the stadium they’re playing at. You’ll just be following them around and traveling to their respective stadiums.” She explained.

“Alright! I can definitely do that!” You said, and let out a sigh of relief.

“By the way, you need to be on the third floor in 3 minutes for your style workshop. You’ll be given your wardrobe, introduced to your hairstylist, and you’ll be getting your nails done.”

“I'd better go then. Thank you, Angelica!”

“Of course. See you on TV!”

The outfits they had picked for you were rather bland, as they were simpler, not to mention professional. However, with Anya’s help, you secured some cuter outfits for free nights. What’s more, your new hairstylist, Shay, was an amazing person to talk to. While experimenting with your hair, she was sure to make conversation.

“So, you excited to meet Paige?” She asked, running a straightener in your hair.

“Who said I was even going to meet her? I figured I’d be assigned with the other rookies,” you replied.

“Well, as the person who has YOUR schedule, you’re set to be interviewing Paige at the preseason game on Friday.”

“Are you serious?”

“What? Are you one of those girls who has an entire edit folder dedicated to her or something?” she asked, a knowing smirk beginning to make its mark on her face.

“No! I just… I know my parents are going to ask me to get an autograph from her or something.”

“Sure, sure. So you’ve NEVER seen an edit of her?” Shay asked, now trying to put your hair in some sort of half-up, half-down style.

“Not really. I don’t usually get edits on my TikTok.”

“Just look her up, alright?”

“Maybe,” you said halfheartedly, brushing off her request.

After about thirty hairstyles, an exchange of phone numbers, and a full set of nails, Shay then sent you to your media trainer, who taught you everything you would need to know for the summer. As boring as it was, you were somewhat ready for your first game, which would be against the Las Vegas Aces. The next day, you took a plane ride to Indiana, where you were met with your hotel for the next week.

The next night was a busy one. After another hair and makeup session with Shay, you were expected to arrive at the stadium at about three-thirty in the afternoon. Needless to say, you felt as if you were out of breath when you arrived at Notre Dame’s Purcell Pavilion. Throughout the night, as your professors had trained you, you kept your eyes on Paige the whole game. Every movement of hers was mesmerizing, to put it bluntly. Every bounce of the ball, every basket, god, even any time she ran made it impossible for you to keep your eyes off of her. You made a mental note to watch some highlights of her later. At halftime, you were instructed to interview her.

This is it.

“Hello!” You introduced yourself to Paige before the cameras began to record.

“Oh, okay, first interviewer! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Paige!” She said excitedly, holding out her hand for you to shake.

No fucking way she’s the number one draft pick and she thinks she has to introduce herself.

You found it endearing, though, the way she smiled and fidgeted with her hands.

Forget endearing. As the cameras were setting up and you got to know her, you were blown away by her. You were awestruck by her tall, slender figure, and her new slick back, which made it impossible not to look at her icy blue eyes that never broke eye contact with you. She was hot as fuck. To your dismay, you failed to notice before.  Although radiating confidence, she still was able to stay humble and grounded.

You had to admit, you both really just clicked. You had only been talking with her for about three minutes, and she was making you laugh in a way not even Anya could, not to mention how easy it was to talk with her. It felt like you had known her since you had been born. Although you knew things wouldn’t go any farther than whatever was happening on the court, you still enjoyed it—and had developed a FAT crush on her in the span of one game.

You really hoped you’d be able to interview her again.

“Go!” the cameraman called, clapping his hands, breaking up the colloquial conversation between you and her.

“So, Paige, how do you feel, now that you’re starting fresh with the Dallas Wings, only about three weeks after your NCAA championship win?”

“Pretty good. I’m excited for this season, forever thankful for this opportunity to be here, thankful to God, and just really soaking up everything around me.”

“And Paige, how are you feeling about the new hair? Although you wore this hairstyle a few months back, you did admit that you’d be debuting a new signature hairstyle in the W.”

“Uh, I like my hair. Giving my scalp a break and such. I think I’ll be experimenting with this and a bun in the next few games, we’ll see.”

“Alright, thank you! Good luck for the rest of this game!”

“Thanks! See you later?”

You nod as she high-fives you, giggling like a high school girl.

Although the Wings lost to the Aces, 78 to 112, to be exact, it was still a fun game to watch. You weren’t too sad, as you found in your research that there was a new coach in charge, and it was, in fact, a preseason game if anything. You quickly found Paige on the court again, whose face lit up when she saw you.

“Hey! Enjoy the game?” she asked, seemingly unbothered by the loss.

“Oh yeah. It was fun to watch! Congrats on your first game!”

“Thank you,” she answered, her eyes finally leaving yours for once, “so are you going to be coming to more games?”

“Apparently, I’ll be interviewing the Wings throughout their whole season, although I may have to leave near the end for college.”

“You’re still in college? Damn girl, I thought you were here with some experience with how professional you were.”

“Really? I think this is the least professional I’ve felt in a while!” you quipped, letting out a small laugh.

“Trust me, you’re better at this than you think. You know, I think you’ve asked the best questions since I’ve gotten here,” she admitted matter-of-factly.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Once again, the cameraman asked the two of you to get into position, so you did.

This was going to be a good season.

taglist: @asapeveryday

[lilyrosedeppsforehead]

All Time Favorite Drarry Fics

Because it's 2025 and I'm not over Drarry and people deserve recs.

My google doc keeping track of my favorite drarry fics is 13 pages so for this post I'm just shouting out my absolute favorites. Category-specific recs will come at a later date. Enjoy!

~

Mind's Eye: (by Galadriell)  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6675009/1/Mind-s-Eye

After five years of silence in a mental institution, Harry speaks. "Malfoy," he murmurs. Why would he speak the name of his Slytherin counterpart? So begins the treatment with Draco in the forefront of it all. 

Okay okay okay real talk- this is my favorite Drarry fic of all time. It’s basically about what would happen if the war had taken a bigger toll on Harry’s mental health and he ended up shutting down. He’s been living at the hospital for years in a zombie-like state. His friends visit (I especially like when Rose Granger-Weasley stops by), but still nothing’s yet to snap him out of his ‘funk’ where he hasn’t spoken to anyone or even acknowledged the presence of another person standing right in front of him in years. Mute and unresponsive, alone yet not alone, his progress is going nowhere... that is, until his doctors decide to try triggering him back to reality by taking a new approach and doing something that should definitely draw a reaction out of him: bringing back his old school rival. Draco’s forced to visit and his behavior is just so realistic to how someone in his situation would react. The story is essentially about him bringing Harry back to life and somewhere in the process they fall in love.

Excerpt from one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 4)

Draco was bored out of his mind. He was staring at the wall with Harry. “I really don’t understand what you find so exciting about watching white walls, Potter. At least add some color to it,” he muttered, flicking his wand. The white turned to green. “Much better,” he said. “Mother made me learn that spell last week because she’s redecorating. Which really means that I’m doing all the grunt work.” 

Harry tilted his head towards Draco, narrowing his eyes that were still searching the wall. Draco didn’t notice as he was brushing invisible lint from his slacks. Harry’s gaze flicked from the seam of the wall and the ceiling to the dark wood floors where the wall ended. He got up unsteadily. Draco tsked, getting up with him. “What are you doing?” he asked, shaking his humb legs. Harry shuffled towards the wall, stopping a meter from it and sitting down again. Draco ran his eyes over the wall. “You like green?” he murmured, kneeling beside Harry. “I should probably get Lily.” He was too lazy to get up again. “Or I could just keep you entertained.” He waved his wand at the wall again, coloring it red.

Harry blinked at the new paint. He reached out hesitantly, brushing his fingertips on the wall. “There’s still life in you yet,” Draco said, smiling. He changed the color to blue. Harry scooted forward, pressing his palm against the blue. “Ugh, you’re determined to make me get up again, aren’t you?” Draco complained, standing upright and stretching. “Don’t do anything until I get back,” he added, walking to the door and sounding the charm for the Apprentice.

Lily arrived in the corridor a minute later, looking immensely concerned. “He’s fine,” Draco said before Lily could freak out. She was looking unconvinced as she walked into the room after Draco. She blinked at the blue wall, staggering back.

“What did you do?” she asked accusingly. Draco huffed, pointing at Harry. Lily seemed to have noticed just then. “Oh...” she breathed. The man was moving his head along the wall, scanning the entire expanse of blue that he had discovered. “Wow.”

“You always assume the worst of me,” Draco groused. “You and Mother would get along quite well.”

Temptation on the warfront: (by alizarincrimson)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373594/chapters/9926705

Draco Malfoy is forced into hiding with the Golden Trio and dragged into their search for horcruxes. What ensues is a journey of redemption, unexpected friendships and an unwanted, turbulent romance with Harry Potter. Warnings for swearing, sexual content, and dark themes.

I know I said the last fic was my favorite Drarry fanfiction of all time but this is one of the BEST fanfics of all time! That may sound dramatic, but I promise you, as someone who’s an irl avid reader, has read hundreds (if not thousands) of fanfictions, and is a literal editor for actual real-life books, this is one of the best things I’ve ever read PERIOD. In my head it’s tied with Hollow Edge (an Elu/Skam France fanfic) for the best fanfiction of all time to ever exist and that ever will exist ever ever ohmygoditsjustsogood. Really keep that in mind by the way... one of the top two fanfictions of all time (in my opinion) is in THIS fandom, meaning you have actual reason to read it you lucky duck! In this, Draco ends up going with the Golden Trio on their hunt for the horcruxes. It’s a long fic and EXTREMELY slow burn, but oh my god is it worth it! It’s sad, it’s heartwarming, it’s enlightening, it’s romantic, and it’s hot as fuck (jesus). Just a warning for anyone who’s sensitive: I do think I need to say that as someone who almost never cries, let alone gets triggered to by a piece of fictional media, this is one of the only things I’ve read that’s ever made me cry. So yes, it’s a tear-jerker. But definitely not the whole thing! It’s not a SAD fic, it just has sad parts, as any good (and long) story tends to. But even it actually drawing a reaction that strong out of a reader just further proves how powerful and amazing this fic is. For your own sake, read it!!! And if you're still not convinced, consider yourself triple dog dared.

Excerpt from one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 29)

“Draco, listen to me - you have to -”

“I’m not leaving you!” Draco says it through his teeth, his steely eyes determined and bright, and his cheeks flushed, but his words are as good as a confession. And Harry loves him, god, he loves him so much -

“I love you,” it bursts out, as natural as breathing, and Harry never wants to take it back. Draco’s eyes widen, and his fury flees from him as quickly as it came. Harry says it again because it’s the truth , and because Draco needs to believe it. “I love you Draco, and I swear I’ll come and I’ll find you, after all this is over - I promise you -”

Draco definitely moves first this time, and his lips taste like smoke and sweat and something deliciously unyielding as they part beneath Harry’s. Harry pours everything he has into the kiss, gives Draco everything he wants him to remember, and everything Harry wants to remember for himself.

Draco is first to pull back as well, his hands uncurling from Harry’s shirt as he catches his breath and rasps, “see you soon... Harry.”

And then he’s standing, his lips tugging up at one side, and he looks so invigorated that in the next second he’s wearing a full-blown grin that makes Harry feel warm in all of the right places. “See you soon, Draco.”

They share one last look of longing, before Draco takes a step back and disappears around the corner, Zabini following him without a word.

Ron clears his throat. “That was one of the weirdest fucking things I’ve ever seen.”

There’s a noise that sounds suspiciously like Hermione giving Ron’s arm a slap, and Harry’s lips twitch into a smile.

Right hand red: (by lumosed_quill)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/3178065/chapters/6903855

Harry felt Malfoy's breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.

This was the first fic I read that included a Drarry/Jilly-patronus situation and let me tell you it does not disappoint. Eighth year. Party games (spin the bottle, twister, other things that could result in feelings both emotional and sexy-times physical). Harry owns a car. Artwork. Harry tutoring Draco. Amazingness. It’s beautiful, it’s hot, it’s romantic, it’s sweet. I’m not doing a good enough job at describing it because I don’t even know where to start. I can picture everything when I read it - I feel like I’m there in the moment with them feeling their emotions and touching their surroundings. It’s just so lovely.

Excerpt from one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 3)

“EXPECTO PATRONUM!”

The thing leapt from his wand, huge and brilliant. It’s four legs spindly and fast, it’s eyes large.

It’s antlers, majestic.

It was a stag.

It was a stag, just like Harry’s.

Oh my God...

For a moment, Harry thought Draco was going to be alright. He looked a little faint, but that was to be expected. Harry gave him a reassuring smile. Seeing it, Draco’s own face fell. Happiness wore down to disbelief, to something like disgust. To rage.

“What have you done to me?” Draco wailed. “What have you...?” The Patronus diminished. 

Draco shoved his wand away, threw down his broom, and ran.

Salt on the western wind: (by Saras_Girl)  https://archiveofourown.org/works/879835

When the war isn’t quite as over as it first appears, a guilt-ridden Harry is sent to a mysterious safe-house. Among sandwiches, insomnia, and Mills & Boon, he discovers something quite unexpected.

Homeward Bound: (by Cheryl Dyson) https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8684511/1/Homeward-Bound

Harry catches the Knight Bus one evening when other travel choices are unfeasible. When he discovers Draco Malfoy employed as the Conductor, he decides Malfoy is up to something because Malfoy is always up to something. His suspicion has nothing to do with the way Malfoy fills out the tailored lines of his purple uniform. Nothing at all.

Dreaming of You: (by Laurasauras) https://archiveofourown.org/works/12789237/chapters/29185539

After stealing the locket, Ron and Hermione get their act together, meaning that Harry spends a lot of time trying to give them space. When the Horcrux takes shape of his school enemy, Draco Malfoy, in order to torture him, Harry can't help but rise to his taunts, like he always has. But the Horcrux can read Harry's mind, as it's basing it's model of Malfoy on him, and so it knows that Harry's feelings towards Malfoy haven't always been as platonically hatey as they should have been. And Harry finds out that there's more than one way to torment someone.

Bond: (by Anna Fugazzi)  https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2493456/1/Bond

Yet another one of those Harry And Draco Are Forced To Be Together By Something Beyond Their Control And Then Stuff Happens Leading To Two Wuv stories.

This fanficiton is phenomenal. It's funny, the characters feel so real to how if this bizarre situation actually happened to teenagers in a magical world, here's how they'd react. It's so so so so so so so hot. It's really interesting just mystery and magic wise - world building and narrative is VERY well done. But my favorite piece about it is how natural it feels. Drarry are bonded, so they're forced together. What does that look like? It looks like silencing charms for when their friends come over and they want to hang out without having to listen to a group of people they don't like goofing and gaffing. It looks like going through a sheet of therapist-perscribed get to know you questions and doing things like saying each others' names out loud for the first time, eating sandwhiches together, missing classes from the condition and having to spend even MORE time together. Lucius Malfoy is so well done. I'm rambling (4am alert) but it's good. It's really really good. I reread it an absurd amount.

Oxytocin: (by: WouldItWere) https://archiveofourown.org/works/23636362/chapters/88796452

Draco Malfoy cannot sleep. If he keeps going like this, he will go mad, or die, or both. For some reason, though, he can sleep whenever Harry Potter is with him. And Harry Potter is nothing if not a helper to those in need.

Excerpt from one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 3)

He wasn’t even looking at Draco. He was walking over to Draco’s bed and—what on earth?—sitting down on it.

Draco blinked. “What are you doing?”

“Sitting. Come on, you should try it.”

“I know what sitting feels like, Potter.”

“Then you’ll know it’s very enjoyable. Come on.”

Excerpt from one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 6)

“You held him?”

“It made sense in the moment.” He cringed.

“Do you usually touch him like that?”

“Let’s not talk about this, Hermione.”

“You do, don’t you?”

"Please stop."

"Harry."

“I—yes, okay, fine. I hold him every night and stroke his skin and tell him everything is going to be okay. There. Are you happy?”

She stared at him. A long pause stretched between them. Then, “I don’t know. Are you happy?”

Excerpt from [another] one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 14)

“Okay. You can go back to staring at him in silence now.”

His relief was so instant that he got halfway to turning back toward Potter, before he realised this might not, in fact, be the wisest reaction to her words. He drew himself up and scoffed offendedly instead. “I was not staring at him.”

“Oh, hush. Of all the hills to die on, Draco, that is not the one.”

Excerpt from [yet another] one of my favorite scenes: (chapter 30)

“Draco” had become synonymous with “I love you” in his head. 

12 Days of What The Fuck: (by bixgirl1) https://archiveofourown.org/works/16659685

When Potter starts paying unusual amounts of attention to Draco as the holidays draw nearer, Draco can’t figure out where it’s coming grom - possibly because he’s gone stupid from all the fantastic sex. But what happens when he finds out that there may be another motive behind Potter’s sudden interest?

Or: A fic in which Potter is hotter than Draco ever let himself admit, Draco didn’t fill out that fucking form, and Pany may or may not lose all of her hair.

This. Fic. Is. So. Funny. And. Charismatic. Basically, Hogwarts does a secret santa thing. Draco’s doesn’t plan on participating, but Pansy and Blaise fill out a wishlist for him where each present request involves something Harry-related (touch his hair, have him fall in love with him, see him naked in the showers again cause he can’t stop thinking about last time, etc). Little did anyone know Draco’s gifter would be more than complicit. Also for some extra incentive: there is in fact a sex scene where they wear each others’ house ties and nothing else.

[totalswag]

how much did you drink? — RAFE CAMERON

authors note hi loves!! i know i disappeared for awhile, my personal life got extremely busy and i never had time to write on my computer. i'm so excited to be back and writing for you guys though. this fic has been in my google doc for small minute and i got a request from an anon somewhat similar to this fic too, lol.

summary y/n getting a little too drunk at a party and rafe has to come pick her up

warnings drinking, swearing, smoking, sexual tension, implied smut?

Lets face it, you were drunk, like really drunk.

You made the decision to come out on a Saturday night with Sarah to John B’s. People dancing, making out everywhere, smoking, drinking, along with loud music.

As the night progressed you were on the table dancing with your best friend with bottles of tequila in your hands, everyone cheering you two on as you continued dancing.

“I’m having so much fun tonight” your words are slurring at this point. 

“Me too,” your friend giggled.

Topper and Kelce shook their heads while they stood near the kitchen. Rafe, your boyfriend, told Topper and Kelce to watch you simply because he wasn't at the party.

“She's about to do something dumb” Topper murmurs, and Kelce nods in agreement.

Kelce replies, "I think it's time we called Rafe."

Topper calls Rafe, while Kelce tries to get you off the table but fails when you say no and to go away so you can drink more. Kelce turns around, sending Topper the clear message that Rafe needs to arrive as quickly as possible.

"Yo, Rafe, sorry for bothering you, but Y/N is really drunk and dancing on the table, and she won't listen to us" Topper scratched his chin, glancing at Kelce, who was attempting to get you off the table.

"Are you being serious?" Rafe must have been in a deep sleep based on the sound of his voice. 

"Yeah, could you pick her up?" He begs.

Topper can hear Rafe's end shifting, "I'll be there soon, just keep an eye on here, please." Rafe sighs and hangs up the phone. 

Meanwhile, Topper and Kelce were eventually able to get you off the table by claiming a drinking game was about to begin, which was correct. You stood in the kitchen with the guys and few other friends watching while others set out the red solo cups on the board.

Your friends came into the kitchen to see what you were doing and they were worried about you because they couldn’t find you.

"These two have me on lock down so I don't drink anymore but oddly waiting to play a drinking game," you add, staring at the girls before wandering your gaze over to Kelce and Topper, who are in the middle of a conversation with a few of their buddies.

Your friends laugh, shaking their heads, telling you, you should still be drinking and having fun.

"I'm so drunk right now, it's not even funny," you hiccuped as your body swayed back and forth, almost knocking you off your feet.

Topper leaned over the counter, grabbing you before you fell.

"Y/N, please drink the water," he says as he puts the water bottle out to you, you look at him, shaking your head as you push it away with your hand.

"Drink the water now, Y/N, we're going home," your boyfriend said, filling your ears. You circle around, placing your arms around his waist, excited. 

"You guys are no fun," you scoff.

"That hangover isn't going to be fun in the morning," Rafe responds. 

“How much did you drink baby?” he asks, lifting your chin up, making eye contact with you.

“I drank a lot and smoked too” you answered truthly, hiccuping.

"You are so hot, I could just fu-" you run your hands down his stomach, removing his shirt a little and gliding your hands on his exposed skin. Rafe stopped you before you could complete your sentence.

Usually when you drink too much and Rafe’s around you get very touchy with him and start saying unholy words from your mouth which leads to fucking or you need to really sober up. You can’t stop but think of how good he looks right now.

Rafe comes to these types of parties with you but tonight he wasn’t feeling it. He trusts you going to parties with your friends or the guys cause he knows you would never do anything that can hurt your relationship.

"All right, that's enough for the night. "Seriously, drink the water," he says, twisting the cap and handing you the water to sip. You realized nothing else would work, so you drank the water.

Rafe watched as you drank the water. When you get this drunk no one else can handle you unless it’s Rafe because he’s been around you enough to know. Your best friends get drunk with you so them being drunk trying to help you too doesn’t make the situation better.

When you finished the water, you wrapped your arms around Rafe, nuzzling your face in his chest mumbling words. He took it as a sign that you were ready to leave the party.

“We’ll walk you two out” Topper suggested to Rafe.

“Yeah that would be helpful, thank you” picking you up in braid style.

You lifted your head from Rafe's chest, confused as to why he began guiding you from the kitchen to the front door. "Why are we leaving?" you asked as you pulled away. "I want to stay," you protest, pointing back to your friends. 

Rafe sighs, closing his eyes, "baby you are drunk and have been drinking a lot" he pauses, "you need to rest too" you pout.

“Say goodnight to them real quick,”

When you walk back to the kitchen your friends eye’s light up but faces drop when you tell them you were saying goodnight. They told you to be safe and see you tomorrow.

“I better get dick out of this” you sarcastically state, making the girls laugh.

“I love you girls” you wave as you leave the kitchen.

You flip Rafe off as you walk past him, giving him a blank stare. He throws his hands in the air, shaking his head, then follows you out the door.

The car ride to his house took five minutes. You were knocked out in the passenger seat curled up in a ball. You woke up when you felt the truck come to a complete stop. Rafe opened the door, carrying you inside.

You start singing a song from the party when you enter the Cameron household. Rafe chuckled as he locked the door then came behind you.

“You need to stay quiet because everyone's sleeping,” Rafe whispered softly.

“Oh my bad” you quickly stop, putting your hand over your mouth.

He lays you on his bed and goes in his closet for clothes for you. He comes back with sweats and one of your favorite t-shirts of his. Before you could lift your shirt, he stopped you.

“Let me do it please” he kisses your cheek.

He led you into the bathroom to remove your makeup and then dab water on your face to freshen it up before taking you into bed. When you spent the night, there was Advil and ice water on your side of the bed. 

Rafe could tell you were still drunk by your facial expressions.

In your drunken state, seeing the Advil and water on the nightstand warms your heart, "Thank you baby," you look up, then pop the Advil in your mouth and take a long sip of the water. 

"Need to make sure my girl is okay," he grins.

"How about we get into bed and sleep?" He then pulls you both into bed.

You quickly close your eyes when your head makes contact with his chest.

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[it-happened-one-fic]

Sleep Well - Vil

Author Notes: Just based on this and the fact that I have the entire vampires series it looks like I have a serious Vil issue. But, in reality, I've had this written for a bit and it's just been gathering dust in my google docs while I occasionally polish it. This fic was written and edited while I listened to the acoustic version "If I Lose Myself" by OneRepublic. As per usual, reader is gender-neutral. I hope you enjoy!

Type: Gender Neutral Reader/ sfw/ fluff/ romance

Word Count: 1243

Everyone had a safe place that they liked to lose themselves in. This was a simple and true fact. And for Vil, that place was you. 

But, to be honest, he really didn’t know who or what your safe place was. Though he couldn’t entirely deny that he would like for it to be him. 

Though it hadn’t been immediate by any means, you had become his safe place after you accepted him even when you’d seen him at his worst. Not just the pretty face, not just the poised person, and not just the fame.

Him, in his entirety. Everything that was and would always be Vil Schoenheit. 

You weren’t daunted by his fame or sometimes less-than-pleasant demeanor, and you hardly seemed to demand any bizarre expectations of him that so often came along with anyone who was a fan. Instead, you just existed and allowed him to exist in that same way. No real expectations beyond him being himself.

But since the moment Vil had realized that about you, you’d always been in Vil’s world. Even when it wasn’t always obvious.

Sometimes you were just on the outer fringes of his life, attending the very same school he did, but from another dorm. And at other times you would appear in his peripheral vision, laughing alongside your friends and waving at Epel as he walked over to join your little group. And if your eyes met Vil’s then you would always smile and wave at him. 

Joyful and welcoming of his presence even when others were whispering about how Pomefiore’s Housewarden was in this corridor and about what he might be doing.

It was refreshing and even a little startling. Rather like splashing water in one’s face after a lengthy and tiring day. It would surprise him, and then he would immediately relax before raising a hand in a return greeting.

If he was totally honest with himself, Vil far preferred the moments when you were close to him, though.

Even if it was just the two of you sitting side by side as you awaited some sort of class activity or for Crowley to explain his new grand scheme to the entire school, there was something relaxing about your presence and the way you always greeted him with at least a small smile. 

Even when you were perfectly exhausted, just as you obviously were today.

None of you knew exactly what Crowley wanted, and the headmage simply would not get on with his speech. You, Vil, and everyone else of any real importance were assembled here and had been seated for what felt like hours. 

You’d approached the young man and sat down next to him, a slight smile and a weary, “Hello,” on your lips before you’d turned your gaze to the dais that Crowley had appeared on. And that had been at least an hour ago.

Vil hadn’t been able to ask how your day had been or if you knew what Crowley wanted this time. But he’d been content to simply sit by your side as the two of you listened to the exuberant headmage prattle on about this, that, and, of course, the other. And at this point, even Vil’s attention was beginning to stray as the headmage continued on.

But Vil stiffened as suddenly he felt a light weight rest against his shoulder. 

He didn’t have to glance to know what it was, but he still found himself looking down and immediately seeing your peaceful, sleeping face.

If it were anyone else, Vil probably would’ve woken them up and even felt slightly miffed. But it wasn’t just anyone. It was you, and you were exhausted. And even if he might never admit it, Vil knew perfectly well that he played favorites when it came to you.

So Vil relaxed, not drawing attention to your relaxed, slumbering position as he continued to listen to Crowley’s droning speech.

A droning speech that lasted for at least another thirty minutes.

Thirty minutes during which Vil carefully slipped an arm around you to better support you as you rested so that you wouldn’t wake with any soreness.

It didn’t take long for everyone to file out of the room after Crowley finished. Everyone filling the area with muttered complaints and sleepy yawns until the room was empty except for two people.

You and Vil.

Your eyelids fluttered as the clatter continued as people finally finished exiting, and Vil felt an amused smile cross his face at the motion. Idly wondering if you were dreaming about something that somehow explained the racket from just moments ago.

Through the window the sky was an exquisite painting of reds, yellows, and oranges. The death of the lengthy day that had seemingly drained you. 

But Vil wasn’t complaining. Instead, he carefully woke you with a gentle squeeze of your shoulder.

You mumbled something unintelligible that had Vil’s smile spreading as your eyes slowly opened. A bleariness to your gaze that clearly revealed exactly how well you’d been resting as you blinked groggily. 

“Vil?” You slowly lifted your head, frowning as you slowly focused your gaze on him. His name was mumbled, but he could at least understand you this time, and he dipped his head in a half-nod to better meet your eyes.

“Did you sleep well, Tater tot?” There was a teasing lilt to his tone that seemed only to make you frown more until realization began to dawn in your eyes as you abruptly finished waking up.

“I-” You glanced around, almost frantically, as you began to register exactly what had happened and where you’d been napping.

“Crowley’s speech is already done. Don’t worry. You didn’t miss anything important. He managed to not say anything in all that time that he spoke,” Vil reassured you in a dry tone as he watched you scan the room with wide eyes before looking back his way, this time with a flustered expression.

“I’m so sorry; I really didn’t mean to-”

“It’s fine, Tater tot. I didn’t mind.” Vil could practically hear the smile on his face in his own words. And if this were a conversation he were overhearing, he probably would’ve rolled his eyes at how soft his voice sounded. 

But here he was, doting on you and losing his usual chilly demeanor as he smiled fondly at your embarrassment.

“I do recommend that you work on getting more sleep during nighttime hours, though. Not resting is horrible for your skin, your mentality, and your entire body.”  He paused, tilting his head as he scanned your face before he smiled and dropped his scolding tone, “Take better care of yourself, Tater tot. You’ll worry those who care for you.”

He watched as you visibly relaxed, a half-smile appearing on your face as you nodded, “I’ll try.”

You looked out the window towards the slowly darkening sky, “I guess I should let you go though. You’ve got better places to be than sitting here next to me.”

Your words made him frown, simply because of how wrong they were. But he didn’t object as you stood, raising your hand in farewell as you smiled fondly down at him, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Vil. Sleep well.”

A half-smile worked its way onto his face at your well wishes, and he found himself standing and grasping your hand in his. Startling you as he gave it an affectionate squeeze, “Indeed. Sweet dreams, my sweet potato.”

[fabbyf1]

*taps on microphone* is anybody still there?

hi besties!

it's... been a while. i have lots of good, valid excuses stuffed up both my sleeves that i could give you about where i've been and why i've been avoiding writing, but i'll spare you the details. the most important thing is that i'm back and i'm finally feeling good about things again.

i have dusted off the old mastermind fic in my google docs, and have made a lot of edits to the timeline for the rest of the fic... and i think we're good to go! we're looking at around 9 chapters (unless i decide to add an epilogue) which means we're halfway there!

i know it's been months since i've updated this story, but i promise it's not dead. chapter 5 is officially in the works. and since it's been a few months... as a reminder, in the last chapter The Smut™ finally happened and then Charles asked Max if he wanted to meet for padel in the morning.

and we go!

snippet under the cut :)

i hope everyone is having a great weekend! happy oscar pole day!

“How was your birthday?” Rupert asked as they were walking to the sports complex. 

“It was, uhhh...” Max trailed off as they waited to cross the street. “Unexpected.” 

“How so?” 

Max chuckled at his question, looking down at his feet and wondering how he would even begin to explain what happened. There was no way he could just come out and say, well, Rupy, I had a few drinks and fucked Charles Leclerc last night, so he ultimately decided to say nothing at all. 

It was probably for the best that he didn’t kiss and tell. 

When Max didn’t answer, Rupert continued. 

“You must not have gone too hard since you were up at dawn asking me to play padel with you.” 

Max rolled his eyes. “I went hard enough.” 

... so much for not kissing and telling. 

“Is that right?” Rupert mused, laughing at him and not missing the implications of his words. “Got yourself some birthday cardio, did you?” 

Max snorted. “That’s a ridiculous way to put it.” 

“I’m not hearing you deny it.” 

“Yeah, whatever,” Max huffed, grinning as they turned the corner and the sports complex came into sight. His heart did a funny little jump in his chest when he recognized Charles’s black Ferrari parked out front, but he would blame it on being hungover. 

(Even though he wasn’t hungover at all.) 

“Good for you,” Rupert said genuinely, which was an equally ridiculous thing to say after admitting to having birthday sex the night before. “You deserve to let loose now and then. It’s good for your mind and your body. Some studies have shown that having an orgasm releases around a million different endorphins in your brain that—”

“Mate,” Max said, laughing and shaking his head. “I’m begging you not to finish that sentence.”