#the hand behind this pen
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i wish there was a way to write fic laying down. with your eyes closed. dead asleep.
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Tried to draw them with this pen
#cult of the lamb#cotl fanart#narinder x lamb#narilamb#it is the first time I use this pen#my hand is all covered in ink#i am on vacation and hiding behind pillows so I can draw
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rough sketch that wont leave me alone
this is @toppingjeffsatur fault
#i have literally not drawn anything in like 3 years and have forgotten how to hold a pen and also everything else related to drawing#his hands are tied behind his back for sexy reasons but also i could not be fucked figuring out how to position his hands#jeff satur#mine#fanart
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he smile :)
#i got possessed i was just going through adrasta's gameplay pics and suddenly photoshop was open idk what happened#me: he looks so good in blue :) / my stupid fucking emo rotted brain: 🫵 FALL OUT BOY REFERENCE#ill be your best kept secret and your biggest mistake hand behind this pen relives a failure everyday 🙄 or whatever#bg3#astarion#.myedits
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I’m WHEEZING @twicecut
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talking to a friend about getting back into art and i think the #1 most important piece of art advice i could ever get or give is just "figure out what is FUN to you"
like i think there is sooooo much emphasis on how to build SKILL in art but a lot of it really treats art like a job or like video game grinding, like it's this thankless job that you have to work at in order to reach a Threshold and i know it's not EASY to make yourself have fun but like
imo a solid 70% of the reason i create art is because the Act of Drawing is fun to me. it's fun problem-solving and planning and putting down lines and playing with colors and tools. it's fun to depict little scenes in my head or to create outfits or to find ways to fill the canvas. never forget that creating can be fun. sometimes it's hard and sometimes you have to battle through your own blockades to get there but the ultimate goal should always be to ENJOY it, to find what you enjoy doing and then do it forever. improvement will follow enjoyment.
i think especially with all the debate about ML image generation it's more important than ever to embrace FUN. if you're only focused on the end result it's so easy to get in your own head- to think about what doesn't look good or what skills you don't have yet or to compare yourself to other artists. but photography didn't kill the art of drawing and AI won't either because, simply put, there will always be people who want to do the physical act of making art because it's fun to do! using paints and markers, splashing colors around, doing shitty pen doodles, using the symmetry tool in your art program to do abstract mandalas that are just squiggles formed into patterns. do art like you're 5 and you've been handed markers to pass the time. do art like you're bored in class and you're keeping your brain entertained by drawing stick figure comics in the margins. do art like an absent thing, do art because it satisfies your brain. the goal is not to make something beautiful and perfect, the goal is to make something because your hands need to make and your body needs to make.
#i know and love so many people who have intense anxiety about their ability to create art and who are so hard on themselves about the result#and i think that's a REALLY easy thing to feel because creating is also vulnerable & physically difficult and there is SOOOO much to master#but i think for me the people who churn out 300 colored pencil front facing hands behind their backs oc doodles on lined notebook paper-#are the ones with the right idea. they're the ones i aspire to be like#i'm not saying i never struggle either bc tbh#as someone with depression and adhd there are times where the Act of Having Fun is simply not possible#sometimes i CAN'T enjoy things because my ability to feel joy is locked behind a barrier of my mental illness#so i don't think it's an Easy thing to do by far and I don't think you can just Magically Make Yourself Happy And Having Fun#but i DO think that experimenting in a low-stakes low-pressure manner until you find something that clicks in your brain helps#doing things for the sake of doing them is the only way to figure out which ones WILL be fun to you#not all of them will. some things will feel like a slog#but i think you have to look for the passion before you're able to face the slog#if you jump right into the parts that are Hard and Challenge Your Limits it's easy to spin your wheels and get stuck#but if you focus on the super small stakes and the things that are thoughtless and focused more on Sensation-#the sensory experience of mixing paint or the scratch of pencil on paper or the smooth way a specific pen makes lines-#then you can lose yourself in the physical aspect of it FIRST#and then once you've started really ENJOYING those sensations you can start learning new ways to use them#because now you have the drive to want to do more#now you have the desire to find new ways to apply this thing you like doing#long post#even longer tags#art#drawing#artists#art advice
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I'm gonna make v; Something That Cannot Die my main verse, which i guess technically makes Hannah my main muse here? For anyone who has newly followed me and hasnt gotten a chance to check out my carrd yet:
v; Something That Cannot Die -Canon divergence. Beth still dies in the fall, and Hannah still breaks her leg and her glasses, but Jack (who didn't kill the Makkapitew) heads down into the mines hoping for some miracle, even though miracles don't tend to happen on this mountain. However, he does manage to find Hannah and helps her through the mines back to the sanatorium. He sets her leg and nurses her to back to health. He tells Hannah the truth about the mountain, and the curse, leaving her with a choice once she's physically gotten better, she can go back to her old life or she can stay as his protégé and protect the mountain. She chooses the latter.
Could be cool, could allow the group to still grieve the loss of Hannah. A good part of the reason why she would choose to essentially fake her death and stay with Jack would be because of the prank and how pathetic and sad it made her feel, not to mention the guilt and grief of being the cause of her baby sister's death. Still allows for Josh's prank on the 1 year thanaversary of the twins, at which point perhaps someone could come across an alive Hannah while her and Jack are trying to hunt and corner the Makkapitew into a cage?
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#KEEP QUIET#NOTHING COMES AS EASILY AS YOU- CAN I LAY IN YOUR BED ALL DAY??#ILL BE YOUR BEST KEPT SECRET AND YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE#**HAND BEHIND THIS PEN RELIVES A FAILURE EVERYDAY**#souyo coded#Spotify
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ok im going to draw. normal dca
i will not make them monsters
#image of me holding my pen to my tablet and there are 30 other versions behind me holding my arm trying to drag my hand to make#more monters
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ughhh kinda wish i had an ipad instead of a samsung tablet bc i really wanna try out procreate but i also dont really use my tablet to draw a lot... idk samsungs have a lot of lag with the spen it seems so idk how diff it is on ipad.
#plane text#idk ive tried screen tablets before and i could never get used to the pen lagging behind my hand compared to how it feels on#a nonscreen tablet
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writing rpf will have you scouring equipboard and youtube for useless information no one gives a shit about
#beating past me over the head with a hammer. why did you have to make patrick an audio tech/sound engineer in this au!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#kayce you dont know SHIT about music technology#you dont know shit about basic electricity........#anyway. im suffering for my art or whatever#(art.......girl this fic is going to be so so so bad please shut up)#the hand behind this pen#rpf shit
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sometimes i wake up in a cold sweat remembering that Chris's comic counterpart is apparently "just like... millions of dead flies."
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me at 15 reading about ocd on the internet: oh that sounds like a nightmare I don't think I could live like that, so glad I definitely don't have it
me getting diagnosed 7 years later:
#in my defence it feels nothing like the stereotypes portrayed on tv#like I had a school friend who was obsessed with the show monk#I've never actually seen it so idk if it does a good job portraying it or not but I know monk is the very stereotypical ocd character#and that friend would go on and on about the show and how relatable it felt to her#not sure if she also had undiagnosed ocd but she only used a certain type of pen#and would refuse to use any other to write#she even got me into it I bought them and we would share#they were nice pens#and she also had this little ritual where if you touched her neck you had to close your fingers#in a way that mimics that stereotype for Italian hand gestures#and then you had to huff on them#she literally would not let you do anything else after you touched her neck unless you finished that little ritual#and I never thought I had anything like that so that meant I didn't have ocd right?#but yeah now that I'm saying it it seems stupid#like just because I'm not a “neat person” and don't obsess over cleaning doesn't mean anything#I say I don't obsess over cleaning and then I proceed to disinfect everything I bring from outside into the house with rubbing alcohol#but that only happened after the pandemic so I'm often thinking if it really counts#do I really have ocd or am I just traumatised from the pandemic?#like if I know the when and how I started a specific behaviour then is it really part of a mental disorder?#I know the logic behind it so it's not really a problem#right?#can I tag this as ocd? am I allowed?#fuck it!#ocd#I'm sure people who know more about this than me can explain if it counts or not#maybe it doesn't#maybe it's just germophobia?#but then what would all the other stuff be?#checking to see if your relatives are still breathing in their sleep in the middle of the night isn't germophobia#but I know the cause of this too it's from losing my uncle does that mean it also doesn't count? is it considered traumatic? idk
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watching the first episode of High Potential, I'm loving this show.
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225 hours in hades and i only recently realized that hypnos has a wing in his hair
#i always thought it was like a feather pen he had tucked behind his ear but then i realized he's literally holding one in his hand 💀#my posts
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a woman was ready to save me from a halloween animatronic and i think that's beautiful.
#i was looking at the halloween animatronics#and there was one behind me#with grabby hands#and an older lady thought it was a guy#pulled a pen out of her hair#then laughed and told me she was ready to fight him for me#sHE HAD MY BACK#i was laughing so hard#but i also appreciated the gesture tbh#⸻ 𓆩𓆪 ooc ⸢ looks like i leveled up in badass ⸥
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