#I have so many of these saved so I decided to post

[sage-nebula]

I've been suicidal many times in my life, and while I could talk about those experiences, given what this post is about, I'd rather talk about something else.

My boss at my previous job was not just my boss. He was my friend, my mentor. I'd met him as a student employee; I still remember the day I went in for my interview, and I asked to speak with "Mr [name]," and the other student employee who answered the door made a face and said, "Hey, Mr [Name], this girl is here to see you" when he let me in because my boss never wanted us to be so formal with him. We were on a first-name basis with him, always. I was nineteen, and super nervous interviewing for my first job that wasn't retail or food service, but he cracked jokes and made me feel welcome. He treated all of us like that.

He was just a really good man. He always stood up for us, every time the university tried to do something that would make our lives harder or less safe. I made a Facebook status once about how I was harassed by a gas station employee near the university, and he commented telling me he'd bring his bat if I needed it. When one of the supervisors ended up overstepping boundaries in a big way with us student employees, he worked overtime to make sure that we would all be safe. When I got promoted to a supervisor position after graduation, and took it upon myself to oversea the yearly Secret Santa tradition for the students (meaning I didn't participate because otherwise I would know who my Secret Santa was), he decided he wasn't letting me go without a present and got me one anyway, despite my insistence that it wasn't necessary.

Unfortunately, he had his own demons to fight. He was going through difficult stuff in his personal life. He told me a lot about it; I was a confidant for him, and at one point he told me I was the only person he could speak to about any of it. More unfortunately still, as much as I wanted to be there for him, I was also struggling to keep my own mental health on track. It was around this time that I was looking into starting antidepressants / anti-anxiety medication for the first time because of how much I was struggling, and I was really focused on getting all of that sorted so that I could stop being tempted by the trains I heard pass by my home every night. Because of this, I didn't check in on him regularly. And so, when his boss called me one morning before my shift was supposed to start and told me that he had taken his own life, I was consumed by more than just shock and grief; I was crushed by guilt.

You see, I blamed myself. Largely because he had told me I was the only one who could confide in, I couldn't help but think that if I had checked in on him more regularly, if I had been there, this wouldn't have happened. I could have prevented it. I could have saved him. He wouldn't have taken his own life, and it wouldn't have been one of his young daughters who found him like that. Not only had I lost a friend of nine years, but I felt like I failed him.

I know now that isn't the case. There were many factors involved, not the least of which being it turns out I wasn't the only one he confided in after all. But it took me a long time to reach that point—a long time until I could honestly say that I didn't feel like it was my fault.

In the midst of depression and suicidal ideation, it can be incredibly hard to see the importance that you have in other people's lives—the place that you have there, that no one else can fill. I know this intimately, because it is something that I struggle with regularly. But even if you can't see it, you have to hold in the forefront of your mind that the importance is there. The impact will be felt. Not only do people care about you, but those closest to you will hold the weight of responsibility for your life on their shoulders for a long time. If nothing else, you don't want that for the people you care about, do you? You don't want to do that to them, do you?

You are not the only one harmed by your suicide. In fact, you're the one who will feel the impact the least. Death doesn't hurt the deceased; it only wounds the living. That's why we have funerals: it's for the sake of those left behind. But no amount of funerals or celebrations of life can assuage the pain left by a suicide. It doesn't help. Notes don't either.

If you're in a place where you're ideating, reconsider. Reach out to someone close to you. Tell them where you are, mentally, and have them come be with you. Believe me when I say that they would much rather sit awake with you all night, than wake up the next morning to a message that you're gone.

Give us the chance to be there for you. It's all we ask.

periodic reminder that your death by your own hand will wreak more havoc on the lives of those you know than you are ever capable of imagining and if you need a sign not to kill yourself this is it. people care more than you know & i am one of them

[steddieunderdogfics]

he could be brave by cuips_not_cute

@cuips-not-cute

Rating: Explicit

29,311 words, 10/10 chapters

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Tags: Getting Together, Pining, so much pining, Mutual Pining, And Then Some, First Kiss, Making Out, Lots of that, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Gay Eddie Munson, steve is lowkey kinda smooth?, and eddie is a disaster because of it, Post-Canon, post s4 v1, but not post v2, Post Vecna, everyone lives because I say so, robin and eddie are bros, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, First Time, Rimming, They're Switches Bitches!, Blowjobs, handjobs, Hair-pulling, Literal Sleeping Together, as well as the slutty kind of sleeping together, Bottom Steve Harrington, Top Steve Harrington, Bottom Eddie Munson, Top Eddie Munson, Not Actually Unrequited Love, canon compliant up to ep7 and then i make shit up, Period-Typical Homophobia, eddie "heart-eyes" munson, Protective Steve Harrington, Recreational Drug Use, Shotgunning, they're moron4moron, steve is very very stupid and eddie wants to see him naked, background ronance (used as a plot device bc girls), 69 (Sex Position), (Nice), uh, Grinding, Hickies, finally decided on a chapter count guys, Anal Fisting, Steve Harrington Has a Praise Kink, eddie is all too happy to tell him he's pretty, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, hate that tag, Fuck u Duffers, Multiple Orgasms, this is so soft actually, Porn With Very Little Plot, angst and pining then just filth, but it's all very tender, Slow Burn, for a bit then it's like 20k words of porn, Eddie Munson is a Sweetheart, Hand & Finger Kink, Happy Ending

Summary:

Eddie Munson isn't very good at puzzles. Well. He can make them, sure, in the form of weeks-long campaigns for his bandmates and a ragtag group of now sophomores he'd come to adore. He's great at making them. Great at making villains that his party thought they'd had figured out, beaten, only to make a quick 180 and have them come back from the dead for a final, earth-shattering fight. Yeah. He can make them. What Eddie Munson can't do when it comes to puzzles, is figure them the fuck out. Especially, it seems, when the puzzle comes in the form of a boy one year younger than him and slightly shorter when you don't count his mass of gorgeous hair that makes him, falsely, look taller than Eddie. This puzzle had saved the world with him, had saved him when he was sure he was a goner. The puzzle's name, of course, is Steve Harrington. King Steve, to many, Hawkins High's golden boy, rich and charming and apparently, a fucking badass. Eddie never stood a chance.

Thanks for the rec! This recommendation is apart of our Writer's Wednesday! All of the recs today are written by @cuips-not-cute. Want to nominate an author? Fill out this form!

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[petrovna-zamo]

Katya’s killer boot collection

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Smell Check [Easy: Failure]

MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 1 (part 2 - part 3)

[link7057]

SHARE YOUR HEADCANNONS ABOUT CHRISTINAAAAA 🫶🫶

First, I'm so sorry for the late answer months later 😭😭🙏 Please forgive me and second!! Actually I hadn't thought of many headcanons for her... yet... but she's one of my favorite characters so ofc I thought of some!! I might say silly ones or ones more about her personal life (and definitely not projecting some parts!) I love Christina Posabule 🙏♥️

Music wise I think Christina would like 60s music, rock, and/or synth-pop or idk genres are hard to actually get right nowadays. If it's specfic, "The Daughters of Eve" and Mitski would be part of her favorites fjjdbrbnd (then I think she'd like The Killers especially "When You Were Young" when she was in her teens :)) Speaking of Christina in her teens, she'd want to learn piano or some sort of instrument but her parents probably got annoyed by how much she played so she wouldn't have as many chances. She's definitely a bookworm or just loves reading and also writes in her freetime like little stories or poems. And when Block ended up staying with Orel's family, she was kind of the only one who missed him as her parents didn't really mind/express their emotions about it.

Andddd talking about her parents, they're both VERY controlling and kept watch on what she'd do, the polar opposite with Orel, which his parents didn't gaf where he was 💔💔 Especially Poppit, and I think with Christina's story it'd be a toxic mother-daughter relationship (mommy issues!) rather than her and her dad, and that Poppit rather likes taking charge but to be in "a woman's place" y'know sexism and even tells Art what to do but makes sure that he does what a "man has to." And she'd be veryyy persistent on Christina with how she presents herself and make sure that she was a nice church girl at all times. And Poppit would very much have breakdowns in front of her and vent to her about her own issues... yeah... And whenever Christina was getting yelled at or being told what to do the only thing she could do is not say anything back to not upset them. She was also grabbed a lot like by her wrists or something similar how they showed in the show. When she moved to Moralton, she was bummed out bc yeah she just moved to a new place where she knows no one. Then when she met Orel something about him intrigued her and she's like Oooh y'know what I like this place already... then BOOM! Having to move again :( Also I don't know if it's just me but she's probably homeschooled or she's just attending another school jfjfnntnf and about her past town she'd be doing so many shenanigans during the same time as Orel probably. Another silly thing she might be more confident than him like I think he'd be more shy when he got older fjjdjnfbfn

Also yes Christina was sadistic I had to say it bc... we remember Orel's masochist era... And same thing with her being emo/goth when Orel was and at least for a while when they were teens👍👍 It's canon bc I said so

About when she's an adult, once Orel and her got married and had their kids, she'd be really worried about repeating anything her own mother used to do to her (along with Orel who'd try to be the best dad to his kids and would ask Christina if he was doing a good job if he was too worried about becoming anything similar to Clay or just anything otherwise) and I'm not quite sure about if whether she kept contact with her parents but she probably would but obviously has a strained relationship with them along with Orel's parents... But she would give her own family all her love :D also she's definitely working in a type of job I forgot which one but something that helps people bc she's sweet like that <3 so yeah girlboss !!

I might've forgotten some things to mention or other things I had in mind for her but yeah!! Or it was badly/worded weird perdón. Thanks for reading 💕

[spaceratprodigy]

✨❤️ Faith and Max | [ 🔍 AU ] ❤️✨

In my heart, I have but one desire And that one is you No other will do

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

[p1x1x]

[happywitchesofnewdi]

Read the Snowboard story over the weekend. After this and Biblio it's a miracle this man survived past high school tbh.

[triglycercule]

it must get boring as hell doing continuous repetitive genos like dust does. he probably constantly questions how his human can keep on going and like not get bored (me too tho ngl because what type of person is out there that's trying to minmax every single undertale geno route interaction???) so i say he changes things up during his own process for a variety of reasons

sometimes when he's feeling REALLY apathetic he might just view everyone as stats and precoded scripts and lines and he just goes about the geno as if he was a player playing a video game (this is incredibly hypocritical because he's acting like the player but also this is dust sans we're talking about. pinnacle of hypocrisy. he'd deny any sort of human like actions because he's not the human and what he's doing is for the greater good). also its kinda fucked because it just means that there's been so many resets that he doesn't view his friends and family as simply people that he's taking the lives of but more as just npcs and numbers. but yk of course he moves on from that episode (and refuses to acknowledge the fact that he was acting very much so like the human. nope nope nope)

or maybe whenever he feels really really really shitty about himself he just lets the human kill him sometimes. he purposely interacts with other monsters before he kills them so he has to hear them beg for mercy. he just lets himself wallow in as much guilt and pain and misery as possible because its really really addicting to be sad and upset and feel bad. and dust is never like "hey i should stop doing this because its getting in the way of be killing the human" because he knows damn well it ISNT. he's still gonna be on that him vs. human grind no matter what even if he spends a few resets fucking around and being miserable and the humans always gonna reset anyways. ALWAYS

even if he's not at lvl 20 or something but still above the human in lv then maybe he'd kill them. but then that also means that there'd still be some monsters left because he nor the human maxed out their stats. so then that's just more suffering for dust (because i really think he'd like to make himself suffer because he feels so much guilt for what he did. his suffering is self inflicted and he knows that and still does it. good for him) because he has to walk around the underground knowing that there are some people hiding in corner or something watching him and scared that he's gonna kill them because thats what he did to everyone else. some nicer monsters might go up to him and try to talk to him but dust doesn't have the chill welcoming friendly vibe sans does anymore so it's just creepy and awkward. angrier monsters might try and yell or fight him and dust just sits there and takes it because theyr totally right. to them it might just look like he killed monsters just for shits and giggles one day and theres no way for him to explain the resets without people just forgetting it in the first place so theres not much he can do except accept the suffering. what in the mental masochism

[alchemist-shizun]

Yi city boys silly textposts because we need them in these trying times pt. 1

Please enjoy my absolute dumbassery with the commentary. Starting strong with:

Let me follow with this great dyad

Staying on theme, starring my thoughts: "what eyes?"

Somebody should come and get Song Lan some help. And several weeks of vacation while we're at it!

Nothing bad ever happened if I'm delusional enough, right?

NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED IF IM DELU-

No because that was the hardest meme to make I was hurting. But it was kind of funny

I just found out I cannot post more than 10 pictures (how many years have I been here again?) so you'll have to excuse me while I make a second post with the other half of this batch, that was literally the worst picture to end this with L M A O

(Part 2)

[ruegarding]

imagine meeting someone and only seeing them in their worst moments. and instead of resenting them, instead of thinking less of them, you find only their best qualities. that's bianca, nico, and percy.

[wibblewomble]

Ajin Week 2023 Day 1: Black Matter

Almost a whole month late to Ajin week but...hahaha heyyy...

[cacklefrendly]

crawls out of my yarn pile bearing shitposts

[bawnjourno]

me deciding to finish my cheers rewatch at 1am last night and then sob for 20 minutes straight bc this goofy sitcom has anchored me and brightened my life for the past year and now it’s over for real for me

[just-slightly-chayotic]

Jeff Satur as my favourite reaction images (1/?)

[night-dark-woods]

man nothing like returning to a creative project Months later and having zero memory of your plan. what were we up to, past me? and why did we not note down any of the brushes we were using.