#I have so many hyperfixations since three years ago

[catgoaturtongue]

I’ve been working on digitally painting again because I want to turn my friends into magic cards so we can make custom EDH decks with them. So far I have Bucyrus and @realityrewind ‘s Echo completed!!

[grison-in-space]

You know, I've been reading things written by people on the internet for my whole life, or at least my whole life after I was about ten. I'm thirty three now. That means there are people whose words I read on the internet twenty years ago who are presumably still around and occupying the internet—sometimes using names I can recognize from back then, too. (hat tip to my fellow "changing usernames is unnatural actually" brethren; I've only changed one myself twice in the whole world since I was about fourteen or fifteen.)

Sometimes I think about a person I see around occasionally on the internet. That person wrote a story about a character in a rather silly fandom we shared, and I read it as a child just beginning to conceptualize being someone whose opinions might matter. And I remember reading that story at some point, because at that age I had a hyperfixation on that character in that fandom at that time and I read pretty much everything in the genre. I never really got to talk to anyone but the inside of my head about it. My friends didn't read fanfiction, and my parents viewed my reading fanfiction as some kind of depraved, shameful secret. Anyway, I read that story and I remember having some kind of deep realization about how adult humans work while I was reading it.

I learned something about the world from that story. (It was one of those insights that are now so molten alongside my core that it's difficult for me to disentangle them from myself, like "people outside you have their own perspective on your behaviors, but that doesn't mean they have to be right.") And I remember that they know it, because they taught it to me, without meaning to. One of the anonymous impacts on readers that writers never see unless they're extraordinarily lucky.

And I smile, because it's lovely to see them again, and they showed me a skill I still use today. We don't have a relationship of any kind—it would be very difficult to recognize me, I think—but they did me a favor a long time ago. And I remember. Now I get to be reminded that this person still exists, and is still a pretty cool human to be around today, at least for the specific circumstance of internet neighbor. Well, and our modern level of concern about once beloved elders from the distant past going terrifyingly cult-addled and bigoted on short notice.

That has not happened in the slightest. They're just still a pretty nice fandom person who is a bit older than me, who is recognizably the same person they have always been, but more intensely and thoughtfully—like a distilled brandy, not a sour vinegar left out on a countertop too long.

Weirdly, that's a thing I find comforting: this tiny, one way, invisible affection. Every so often I feel this intense affection for a person I've never spoken to or about, because I see them and I love them intensely for a moment and then we both go about our days.

Think about how many interactions you have with people as you go about your day. Wouldn't it be nice to imagine that other people feel like that about you?

I think I'm going to imagine that there's one person that read something I said and thinks that about me. I don't need to ever actually know if it's true: I can just imagine someone who happened to be at a formative moment when they learned something against the background of my words. We'll never know each other as our screennames are lost along the years and we move in and out of touch with parts of ourselves, but we still have that little fond impact on one another, those fingerprints in one another's clay.

It's a nicer world to imagine than the one where no one is paying attention to me, or the only people paying attention to me are mean. And there's really no way to ever know for sure, so why not inhabit the pleasant end of the imaginatory pool if you can?

[namelesssfreak]

Jeremy Knox Theory

Made by an only child but I'm autistic and hyperfixating rn so hear me out (i also tried to cut down words this still ended up being over 2200)

Unpacking Quotes

'Jeremy made it over for dinner every night that week, apparently uninvited from the family table over the state of his hair. He laughed it off when he explained it, but Jean saw the shadows in his eyes and the dark look Cat and Laila exchanged as soon as Jeremy turned his back.'

Honestly, I like the theories that his family don't like the hair cause it makes Jeremy look more like either his dad or the unnamed brother, but the homophobia ones also make sense

Also whatever the reason was, Cat and Laila know it

'Jean knew nothing about cars, despite technically owning one, but he knew money when he saw it.'

'Cat looked weary as she pocketed it, though she had given up protesting his so-called charity a year ago. It wasn't about the money, so he didn't take it personally. Cat was more concerned with how many hoops it took him to pull it together when he was permenantly on his stepfather's bad side.'

"The right therapist can be legit life changing - just look at Jeremy for proof." She jerked a thumb over at Jeremy, who didn't look at all concerned to be snitched on. "I'd say you should ask for her number since we all know she's good, but I don't think any of us can afford her."

So Cat worries about Jeremy getting money from his stepfather, and it's completely plausible that his stepfather paid for therapy because of family image, but Jeremy having an expensive car makes me wonder how recent the struggle to get money is, like if he was on good terms with his stepfather at one point and that was when he got the car

"I wasn't born a Trojan, right? My high school team was just like every other school out there. So competitive, so much bad-mouthing, so many put-downs. And it was just...exhausting, playing like that. All that pressure on one side and all that antagonism on the other." He clapped his hands together as if crushing his past self between the two.'

Surely alluding to Jeremy being not the best person in high school, or anger issues Jeremy

"Jeremy has- three. One sister, two brothers. The older brother's an absolute tool, but there's bound to be a jerk or two once you pass four kids." Jean idly wondered what she'd changed at the last minute and why, but he watched her nervously push her fries around her plate and decided not to ask.'

On this, I think Jeremy only has the three siblings (Bryson, Annalise, and unnamed). I've seen people theories that there's more than three because of her pause, and the line about passing 4 kids, but right before that Cat mentions that she has 6 siblings, so I think it's slightly a nod to that, and her trying to change the subject into more light hearted she hesitated before saying 3 so that Jean doesn't pick up on or doesn't dwell on it. And I like to think she hesitated before saying 2, because I love the dead brother theory, and it seems the most likely to me. Cat could've said 3 instead of 2 either because she doesn't think Jeremy has told Jean yet or she knows he hasn't.

"What's Grandpa think of this investment of yours?" It was obvious bait, but that couldn't keep the edge out of Jeremy's fierce, "He is not our grandfather."

I reckon the investment is probably Jean or all of the Trojans, but I digress. I feel like Jeremy using "our" makes me think that even if his grandfather is homophobic, that's not the main issue Jeremy has with him, cause it seems like there's reason that Jeremy doesn't want his siblings (or at least him and Annalise) to be related to him (me when I struggle to put thoughts into words) TLDR I'm wondering if it's something worse than just homophobia to warrant the use of "our" and not my.

'His phone chimed, and Jeremy looked down to see William’s name on his phone. "Bryson is in the sitting room with Mr Wilshire."

'He could hear voices echoing down the corridor where his stepfather and older brother were having an animated discussion, so he settled for a grateful smile in William's direction before hurrying up the stairs.'

I'm assuming from this that Bryson and Mr Wilshire are on good terms

"Like Wayne did." Jean considered that. "Maybe he will also kill himself." "That isn't a joke," Jeremy said, with unexpected ferocity. Cat winced but kept her eyes on Jean.'

If Jeremy does end up having a homophobic family then it's completely plausible that he may have attempted, but I'm also just a sucker for the dead brother theories

"We can call the police." "I'll send Jeremy away first." Rhemann said, like that would somehow win Jean over.'

Rhemann could have said this to Jean because he thought less people would make Jean more comfortable, but Jeremy was already waiting outside, so maybe he said it because he was under the impression that Jeremy had already told Jean about what happened his freshman year or at least why he doesn't like police officers, and if that's the case then it also means Rhemann and at a stretch the rest of the team (?) knows about it too, and this is not at all important but it's something I noticed

[About Annalise] 'He'd walked through a hundred hypothetical arguments with his therapist in preparation for the day he finally fought back, but every time the chance came, he watched it slip past in miserable silence.'

So whatever happened, between Jeremy and his family, is something that he could hypothetically argue his case for, if he's able to make arguments he could use against Annalise, then it's gotta mean he's not entirely at fault for whatever happened

'The receipt went into the zippered back of his wallet so he could file it later; it was always best to have a paper trail when dealing with his mother's bookkeeper.'

Okay stay with me but adding to the thing of Jeremy possibly not being the nicest person in high school, maybe his mother and stepfather have limits on his money because he spent really irresponsibly in high school?

'His family had its problems - all families did, he supposed - but never in his life had his mother raised a hand at her rowdy children. He couldn't fathom being struck by a parent.'

I feel like this gives us a hint on when his parent's divorce/mother's remarriage took place, seeing as Jean specified his father when talking about the scars, it's odd that Jeremy focused only on his mother in the above quote. Could mean that the divorce was from early in his life, and custody went to his mother, so he didn't see his father much?

"I've never been to Europe. Dad's been stationed there a couple times, but..." He shrugged and didn't bother to elaborate.'

Maybe his not bothering to elaborate is because he doesn't know much else about his father?

My full theory because it's clawing at the corners of my mind to be put into words:

So I'm assuming that his parents splitting up happened in early years, probably after Jeremy and all his siblings were born since I don't think any of them are half/step siblings but early enough that Jeremy doesn't have many memories of him. A bit of grasping at straws but this line, "I've never been to Europe. Dad's been stationed there a couple times, but..." He shrugged and didn't bother to elaborate.' if his dad is part of the army could mean that Jeremy doesn't see the man a lot. I've kinda got two running theories so branching off into those

Theory One:

We've got Jeremy and his three siblings being raised by his mother, because his father is unable to take any custody (due to travelling and being in the army, or for other reasons), which could in itself put some strain on the family with his mother having to raise all 4 kids herself. And then later on in high school Jeremy and his unnamed brother both want to go to a good uni where they can play exy (whether that's USC or not) and their high school team have a really important game at the end of the year that a lot of universities are visiting (this is me making a big leap on how close in age these two are) Depending on how much money Jeremy and his family have pre his stepfather entering the picture, the two of them could have been hoping to be signed with a college team (if I've not worded that right I'm so sorry I'm not American and don't play sports)

And at this game, Jeremy ends up playing really well, but it's at the expense of his brother's playing, so like Jeremy gets all his time to shine but his brother maybe not so much, and he decides to completely blame Jeremy for that which ends in a fight. In this fight, Jeremy's brother ends up getting really injured, like worse than Kevin, like to the point of being unable to play exy anymore. When his mother and new stepfather find out, they decide to completely cover the whole thing up and not tell Annalise and Bryson, part of which involves paying for Jeremy to go to USC for some reason (I can't be bothered to work out the logistics of). Which all works well and good, until Jeremy's brother takes his life because of not knowing what to do with himself after losing his biggest passion (this makes sense I promise codependency on exy is borderline a key theme in these books) and their mother and stepfather dig even more of a hole by covering that up and calling what happened an accident ("There's been an accident," he said, and grimaced like it wasn't at all the word he wanted to use.) and no one suspects anything until Jeremy's freshman year at USC, where he's perhaps not the best at getting on with his new teammates (probably particular the 5th years), still getting used to going from his high school team to the one at USC, also potentially homophobia (Nicky core) but they don't really have any acceptable reason to actually start anything with him, so one of them who had connections with the police (related or something) found out from them about the thing with the brother that had been covered up (He had half a mind to cut through the park, but the sigh of cops lounging at the nearer entrance had him sticking to the sidewalk along Exposition. There was little to no chance he'd know them, and no reason they'd recognize him, but Jeremy kept his gaze forward and his mouth shut until they were past.)

And decided to bring it up at the fall banquet, which caused it to get out and it was mainly contained between the USC team, but the whole team ended up finding out, and also Annalise and Bryson, who don't forgive him for it ("Overdue for a new scandal, hm?" She asked. "End the way you started?") (Once upon a time she'd gone to all his high school games, but once upon a time was before the fall banquet that broke their family in half. She'd gone out of her way to forget exy since then, and she'd never forgiven him for sticking with it.) ("Careful," Annalise warned him as she rummaged for her keys. "You already destroyed the family. Don't destroy my future, too.")

Theory Two:

My other theory surrounding Jeremy's childhood is that either 1 or 2 of his siblings went to live with his dad when their parents split up (their unnamed brother and either Annalise or Bryson) and I don't think that would have necessarily affected their relationship (with Annalise still going to his exy games, though the Bryson being homophobic theory isn't one I'm ruling out yet) Then Jeremy and his unnamed brother both wanted to get into either USC or a good university that they could play exy at, which makes sense if the unnamed brother was living with their dad he could have been hoping to get in to university through playing exy, while Jeremy had the option of his stepfather paying for him. Also potentially the two of them are still in contact but just going to different schools, and are on separate teams for a match between their schools at the end of the year that a lot of universities are attending, that Jeremy's team ends up winning, and then either this follows the same route as the first theory, or the brother gets into another university, and he and Jeremy get into their fight at the fall banquet of Jeremy's freshman year.

I could probably organise this slightly better and might come in and edit this when my copy of tsc gets here in a few days, but heres the random thoughts my brain spat out for now

[oxfordthyme]

Intro / My Story

Hello, I'm Thyme and I only recently realized that whump was a thing!

Putting the TL;DR up top: I'm a (mostly NSFW & non con) writer new to the whump community, & very interested to see what's shaking here! Would ultimately love to find some new, like-minded readers to enjoy my fics and offer their thoughts.

(Also please forgive my lack of aesthetic, Tumblr has changed a lot and I'm still figuring things out)

Here's the longer story: I've written whump from the shadows for going on 20 years; no one had ever seen it until I made an AO3 account earlier this year.

In the shadows there is no community and no audience, so I had no clue other people enjoyed hurting their favorite characters as much as I did and always had weird shame about it.

Shame is a huge part of the way I grew up and has hindered my quality of life at every turn. I'm only just taking steps to shed it, and it's a process. I wish I had started it long ago, but better late than never, I guess.

The first part of my "fuck shame" journey was to try writing smut. I'd always just implied it in my fics—because shame—which is so crazy because again, I wasn't even showing these to anyone!!!

I don't even read much smut either so I did some *ahem* research and added some smutty scenes to what would become my first published fic. (It's a Baldur's Gate story reimagining, if Cazador bit a female elf bard instead of Astarion, and that bard embarks on the BG3 storyline with this new version of Astarion.)

The second part of the journey was to step out of the shadows (sort of) and post the fic. So I did that and expected no interaction. But when I started getting kudos and comments... man, I never realized what a dopamine junkie I am because that positive feedback was like a drug. I have never written so much nor so consistently in my life. I've published over 200,000 words since the end of April. Apparently ADHD is no match for my feral dopamine hunger and pathological people pleasing tendencies!

The third part of the journey was to find a community! I joined a whump discord server and now I'm back on Tumblr for the first time in like, twelve years?? I've been lurking in the whump tag and it's so heartwarming to see so many creative people finding community with each other. We don't have to feel like freaks anymore. 🥹

The Baldur's Gate hyperfixation is on the shelf at the moment, and I'm in the middle of a very dark Stranger Things non-con centered longfic in which an 18-year-old Max Mayfield is the whumpee. Three guesses as to who the whumper is 🙄

Anyway, excited to see what's up around here!

[averagewriter-inthedark]

For The Gold 🥇 | Top Gun Maverick Imagine

Takes place after the events of TGM

Link to my TGM Masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Pilot/Olympian!reader x Dagger squad (platonic), slight Lt. Jake “Hangman” Seresin

Content warnings: fluff, mentions of injuries, slight profanity. Might be emotional for you so be warned| Gn!reader (They/them) | wc: 12k+

Premise: In which the 2019 TopGun Uranium detachment return to Fightertown to watch and cheer on their colleague & friend as they compete on the greatest sporting stage the world has ever seen for their last chance at Olympic glory.

Note: so I was an athlete growing up (I did gymnastics, soccer, and figure skating) and although I no longer pursue my dream of going to the Olympics (my biggest regret in life) I still get super excited when it comes around. It’s currently World Cup season & I’m hyperfixating to say the least on sports and now have these ideas of a professional athlete!reader works for the dagger squad. Let me know if you want more because I totally have ideas for other sports— especially the ones I played because I have more personal knowledge of them, but I LOVE watching the track and field and nearly went that path when I was a kid because I loved to run and was really fast (I played wing for soccer in high school and I always had people tell me I should’ve been on the track team instead). For this imagine, imagine you were born in 1990 so it would put you at age 30-31 in 2021 and just to be clear this is following the idea that the events of TGM took place in 2019 since the movie was supposed to come out around that time or 2020.

“Let’s freaking go!!!” Javy practically shouts as he claps his hands when entering The Hard Deck to a crowd of people and his friends. Eyes were already glued to the multiple TV screens Penny had set up with the help of regular patrons. There was a table filled with food set out, coolers of ice and beers donated by customers. The bar was buzzing with excitement with many sporting team USA gear and waving American flags. It was the early hours of the morning—literally 5 am and everyone in the building had slept the duration of the previous day in order to pull an all-nighter or had just woken up. They wanted to watch the event live and not the replay later that day due to the 17 hour time difference. News crews were there as well, hoping to catch everyone’s reaction.

The squad rolled their eyes at their colleague, but smiled nonetheless. They too were filled with anticipation. “How much time until their up?” Coyote asked, taking a beer before finding a place beside Hangman. The Dagger squad had arrived early to get good spots with Coyote being the last to arrive. Now there was hardly any space in some areas with the turn out. Civilians and servicemen swarmed every corner.

“About thirty or so minutes. They should be coming into the arena soon.”

Everyone from TopGun was there, including Cyclone, Warlock, Hondo, Maverick and the current aviators going through the TopGun program. Many of the former 2019 detachment had gone off to their old or new assignments, but as soon as the announcement of the team hit the news they were popping off in the group chat and booking flights to Fightertown.

So here they all were. All 12 of the special detachment that trained together for a high-risk uranium enrichment plant mission back again in the Hard Deck like the first night three ago. Rooster, Hangman, Coyote, Phoenix, Bob, Fanboy, Payback, Fritz, Halo, Omaha, Harvard, and Yale. They were only missing one person.

The person across the Pacific Ocean who was the reason they were together to cheer on from home, and would be going for the gold in one final run.

It was the first week of August, 2021. The Games of the XXXII Olympiad in Tokyo, Japan.

What should have been held the year prior, was postponed due to the COVID-19 Pandemic. Now after years of hard work & dedications, nearly 12 thousand athletes from 206 nations around the world were gathered for the greatest sports event in history.

17 days, 339 events in 33 sports. The gold medal on the line.

For Y/n L/n, this was the moment they’d been waiting for. At 31 years old, Y/n spent their entire childhood and adolescence dreaming of the day they would walk through the tunnel of an Olympic arena to represent the USA. From the moment they could walk the track became their life. Their parents were coaches at Vanderbilt University and were the contributing factor to them pursuing the sport. And at age six, Y/n sat in the stands of the Centennial Olympic Stadium in the summer of 1996 where they witnessed with awe as Micheal Johnson won the gold for the USA in the Men’s 200m & 400m sprint and Carl Lewis defended his title of the long jump champion for four consecutive Olympics. Just days prior Y/n witnessed history for USA Gymnastics when the Magnificent 7 defeated Russia for the US’s first women’s All-Around team gold medal.

It was a memorable Games, held on home soil in the city of Atlanta and with many firsts and defenders.

It was the spark of a lifelong goal for the six year old in the stands.

Blood, sweat, and tears were put into training. From an early age Y/n loved to run. But sprinting was their passion. The 100m, 200m, & 400m became their sole focus.

Everyday, sometimes twice or three times Y/n was running drills and sprints. Their day would start with an early morning jog with their dad before the sun was even out, followed by breakfast before heading to the track. From there they would stretch, run drills, and conditioning. Then they would have an hour break for lunch before doing it all over again until dinner. The day would end with another cycle of drills and conditioning. Y/n would be out of breath, sweating, and sometimes in pain.

But they were determined. Like most athletes who dedicate their lives to the international level they became homeschooled and missed out on many things a typical child or teen would experience. Though Y/n had friends it was only a select few. There was hardly time for a social life and therefore it was hard for them to form connections. It wasn’t until they got into competitions did they begin making friends with fellow competitors.

At age 10 Y/n participated in their first meet. It was a let down, but not a total loss. Sure they didn’t win a medal but they didn’t come in last and that in itself was a win in their eyes. It just made them more determined to do better and the next season they delivered by claiming a regional title. As years went by regionals became state titles and soon Y/n was a national champion at age 16. That winning season had brands reaching out to sponsor the teen, but if they were to also take a chance at an NCAA title in college then sponsorships were gonna have to wait.

2008 was the year to remember. Y/n had attended their first World Championships and although they didn’t win gold, they took the bronze and became a likely contender to make the Olympic team in the upcoming trials. They had just graduated with their diploma and had accepted a full ride to Vanderbilt University as part of their track team. What came as a big surprise to their parents was Y/n would not just be getting their degree and competing for the college team, they would also be doing the Naval ROTC program.

Unbeknownst to their family, Y/n was drawn to the world of aviation. Their grandfather was a fighter pilot for the Navy and would tell them stories of what it was like in the air. He even had a cool callsign, ‘Viper,’ and taught at the Navy’s prestigious school for pilots. When Y/n was a child, he would take them to the air shows and teach them all about the maneuvers they were doing and even brought them to TopGun. They were in awe as he would explain all the gadgets and weapons of the F-14.

Yes, track and the Olympics was their life, but something was calling them to the skies.

“Honey, where did this come from? You never talked about joining the Navy before,” their mother said with confusion at the dinner table when Y/n explained their upcoming schedule. “If you make the team this summer I hope you’re not planning for this to be your only games. You’re so young and could easily go again for London and the 2016 games.”

“That’s still the plan, mom,” Y/n sighed, “But you remember all those stories grandpa would tell me about his pilot days? I want to do something more in case this doesn’t work out—have a backup plan per say. What if I tear my hamstring or something happens that I have to retire?” It wasn’t something they liked to think about, but with being an athlete the next meet is never guaranteed. Injuries are common—especially torn ACLs and hamstrings. Y/n had other passions besides track and wanted something there for if the worst happened.

“Y/n, if you do two years of their program you have to decide whether to commit or not and you’ll likely be commissioned when you graduate,” their father pointed out, “That means you’ll have new priorities and if you're serious about flight school that is going to cut time off the track. London is possible given it will be your last year in college—maybe we can pull some strings and have your commission pushed back if you make the team—-but I don’t think 2016 would be. You’re talking balancing a career as a Naval officer and professional athlete. That’s a lot to take on—physically and mentally.”

He had a point and Y/n knew it. London was in four years and definitely possible even if they fail to make the Beijing team. The location of 2016 had yet to be decided, but with the timing it would put Y/n four years into a possible Navy career.

Still they were wanted to make both work.

An Olympic champion and a fighter pilot.

First they had to get through 2008 and boy was it a year to remember. It fulfilled one half of the Olympic dream for Y/n: making the team and competing on the world’s greatest sporting stage. Tears streamed down their face as they embraced their parents following the end of the trials. It was a hell of a trials with Y/n competing against some of the best track stars in the country. They were completely starstruck when Allison Felix congratulated them following the announcement, Y/n remembered watching her four years prior in Athens for her Olympic debut and thought, ‘I really hope we’re teammates in Beijing.’

Unfortunately, a gold medal was not in store for the athlete. Of the three events; 100m, 200m, & 400m, Y/n only qualified for the 200m & 400m after finishing in the top two of their heat. The night of the 200m finals was a saddening with Y/n finishing fourth, just shy of a medal, but the Games were not a total loss when days later an Olympic bronze medal was placed around their neck and the American Flag rose alongside Great Britain and Jamaica’s.

And so the next four years of training for London—with Rio De Janeiro in 2016 looming around the corner—began the second they touched back on U.S soil. On top it was the pressure of securing NCAA titles not to mention A’s & B’s in their classes, while also getting through one of the top collegiate ranked NROTC programs.

It was a lot. And Y/n became burnt out at times. They had already set their name in record books at the national level, now it was time to amp up the game on the international and college level. A bronze medal would not satisfy Y/n, gold was the goal.

It all paid off by the time 2012 arrived. With a few more national titles under their belt and a World Championship in the 400m, Y/n was the talk for a gold among commentators. At the end of their collegiate career they secured several titles in their three events and managed to come out with a 3.8 cumulative GPA. In regards to the NROTC Y/n committed to the program after their second year and was set to commission that summer. The trials were around the same time as what would have been the ceremony, but after several meetings they allowed it to be postponed until after the trials. It would be some time before Y/n would be assigned an OTS due to the path they were taking with flight school and therefore it would likely not interfere with the upcoming Olympics. “Bring home the gold for us,” the officer shook their hand at the end. It filled them with nerves, but mostly perseverance, “I plan to.”

The trials were a success once again with Y/n having the honor to call themselves a two-time Olympian. The five colored rings were tattooed on their bicep, something they did immediately after Beijing that often resulted in being recognized in public, and gold was in their mind. After qualifying for all three events and earning a place on the 4x100 relay, Y/n had four chances at the gold: 3 individual and 1 team.

It was a silver lining moment in all three individual events. After failing to qualify for the 100m finals in Beijing, Y/n pulled a show stopping finish in the last heat earning them a place in the final. It was the most heat pumping 10 seconds of their life that happened in the blink of an eye. Before they knew it they were on the podium with a silver medal and the same would follow in the 200m and 400m. At the end of the 400m ceremony they were bombarded by reporters with the same question, “Y/n, what a run tonight, congratulations again this is your third medal in these games and it seems to be a silver lining moment for you. What are your thoughts?”

Still coming off the emotion from winning their fourth Olympic medal, a privilege not many could say, Y/n smiled wide, “It’s amazing really, you know I took the bronze four years ago in this event and I’m so grateful to come out with another medal—this time being silver. I couldn’t believe Monday night when I took the silver in the 100m—just making it to the finals after not qualifying in Beijing was an accomplishment and same goes for taking second in the 200m. I want to thank my parents, who are also my coaches and have been with me on this journey since the beginning. I’m just so blessed and filled with happiness tonight—I could not have done this without them.”

“You still have a chance at the gold in Wednesday’s relay. How are you feeling about that? What can we expect by the team?”

“We have such an amazing group for the relay, I’m so honored I get to represent the United States alongside them. Every one of us have worked so hard to be here and have really put our blood, sweat, and tears. Hopefully bring home the gold—I know each of us are going to give it our best.”

Y/n’s publicist from the side was signaling for them to hurry up, “One last question before you go,” the reporter quickly said. “For the people at home who have been cheering you on these past four years, can we expect you to return for Rio? I know you could very well take the gold in the relay, but are you hoping to try for an individual in the future?” This was the question Y/n had been preparing for the entire games. Having managed to keep their NROTC program hidden from the media, it troubled Y/n to reveal they would be a Navy officer by the end of the summer. It wasn’t odd for active duty members to be athletes, there were plenty who participated in the games every four years. It would just be difficult given the career path they chose and having to get all the paperwork filed for time off around meets and international competitions.

After a moment of thinking, they finally answered, “I’m very lucky I get to say I competed in these games twice now. I’m twenty-two now and will be twenty-six by the time Rio comes around—not to mention I start flight school pretty soon,” there was immediate surprise by the reporter, but Y/n continued and was quick to finish with. “I’m gonna work hard as I always do and hopefully Rio is in the cards for me. But to give a yes or no imma just say yes, that is the plan.”

Before the reporter could question the topic of flight school, Y/n was already saying goodbye and letting their publicist pull them away. The relay was in two days and was their last chance at winning a gold for the London games. Of course, Y/n was hopeful they would make the Rio team for the sake of winning an individual gold medal. There would no doubt be glory and honor if they were to win the relay, but it had been their dream since childhood to stand on the podium with a gold around their neck for one of their events.

The relay was all they ever dreamed of. A strong group with Y/n leading the first leg before handing it off, giving their teammate a great start to pull a lead against the other nations. As they were walking back to the start, their heart was racing and not just from the adrenaline…but by their teammate being the first to cross the finish line. Then there was the sound of the announcer amongst the roaring crowd, “WORLD RECORD!!!” with the USA appearing beside the #1 spot.

Y/n was screaming before they could stop themselves, “Oh my god!!” knees hit the track as they sank to the ground. They couldn’t even hear themselves by the cheers. It was a spectacular moment with Y/n pulling themselves up to run and embrace their teammates and share the glory they just made. Not only were they Olympic champions but also World Record holders of the 4x100m relay.

“The United States has taken the gold here today in the 4x100m relay and a new world record has been set thanks to the extraordinary start by Y/n L/n.” “This relay group gave it their all today, John. It was such a close call coming around on the third leg, but the Americans pulled through for a stunning finish for Olympic gold.”

With an American flag in their hand, Y/n joined their teammates beside the record projection. They were teary eyed, but held off from crying because they knew the emotion would come full heartedly on the podium. And boy did it come. The second the national anthem was playing, the first tear fell from Y/n’s eyes. The medal was heavy around their neck, but it was a reminder that they achieved the goal they set out when they were six years old.

Olympic champion.

And they got to share it with their teammates—an immense honor they would cherish till the end of time.

Y/n could barely remember all that happened following the podium ceremony. After a celebration with their parents and best friend, who flew all the way out to London to support them, they had no more events and got to rest for the remainder of the games. Closing ceremonies were spectacular. One of Y/n’s favorite moments from the Beijing games was getting to mingle with athletes from the other nations during the closing ceremonies. This time around Y/n was speechless as they got to see a Spice Girls reunion and One Direction perform.

Life became chaotic to say the least following the return from London. After winning four medals including a gold, Y/n was asked by several talk show hosts to appear for an interview. They accepted a few and were immediately bombarded with questions about the little detail they slipped after winning the silver in the 400m. “You made it known to the world that you’ll be going to flight school, was it? What can you tell us about that?”

“Well during my time at Vanderbilt, where I competed for them in the NCAA—which can I say, It’s a completely different ball field when your parents are not only your coaches for international competitions but also college meets. The energy is different, especially because they’ve been there for almost two decades now and are the definition of school spirit. Anyways, while I was there I also took the route of doing their Navy ROTC program. My grandfather was a fighter pilot for the Navy and pretty much became my inspiration for wanting to fly—on top of being an athlete. It was something I thought long and hard about. I wasn’t sure if I would even make the London team and of course anything can happen, but I knew I wanted to go to fight school back when I competed in 2008. I actually will be commissioning once I’m done with all this post-Olympic press.”

The ceremony was a bittersweet moment. With their friends and family around them, Y/n was pinned on with the ranks of Ensign and named an officer of the United States Navy. From there were the challenges of balancing a career as both a professional athlete and naval aviator. Often were days of bad mental health and aches after overexertion. OTS & Flight school was intense but shaped Y/n in many ways. The first day they were recognized by a classmate resulting in the callsign, “Olympian,” after everyone would say, “Hey, Olympian!” when calling out to them after two straight days.

“Could’ve been worse,” Y/n chuckled after their parents were like, ‘really?’ when they told them. “I mean it could have been something like ‘Short-track,’ or ‘Goldilocks,’ if they thought about it. If I fucked up doing something then they would’ve named me something related to it. I’ll take Olympian cause that’s what I am.”

After completing flight school and receiving their first duty station, Y/n made the decision to hire a new coach. The World Championships were coming up and they did not want to uproot their parents while they were still the head coaches at Vanderbilt. At first they protested, but eventually relented on the condition that Y/n’s coach would be their former colleague. He was the former head coach of Vanderbilt when their parents were athletes themselves before becoming assistant coaches. “He is everything you need to bring your A-game these next seasons and Rio. I’ll make the call first thing in the morning and see what he says.”

The four years between London and Rio were brutal. The training with their new coach and balancing an aviation career showed more hardships than ever. Y/n proved themselves to be a talented pilot despite the struggles and eventually was invited in 2015 to attend the Navy’s prestigious Fighter Weapons School more commonly known as Top Gun. The same place their grandfather attended and taught at.

A hard decision had to be made when the invite came. The time period interfered with the track season and Y/n would not be able to defend their two-consecutive world titles in the 400m sprint. In the end, Y/n announced they would be pulling out from the 2015 season to attend Top Gun. They weighed out the pros and cons and felt it was the best route given the Olympics were a year away. If an injury were to occur then it could result in Y/n not even having the chance to do the trials. Their coach was frustrated in the beginning, as one would be after dominating the national and international meets for two years straight. He eventually put his differences aside to put focus on what Y/n needed to improve if they were to take the gold in Rio.

It was at Top Gun that Y/n met fellow naval aviator Natasha “Phoenix” Trace. They were seated next to each other in one of the many lecture rooms at Fightertown where Nat had to do a double take after recognition sparked in her. Nat was an athlete in high school and college who, like many, would sit with her family to watch the Olympics every four years. Though she didn’t run track, a sibling of hers did so they would always tune into the events when they came on. After seeing the patch reading ‘Olympian,’ Nat had to hold back her fangirling as the memory of her cheering when the US took gold in the 4x100m relay. ‘It has to be them.’ At the end of the lecture she approached Y/n with a shy smile, “I’m so sorry if this is weird for you, but are you Y/n L/n? I’m Natasha—Phoenix.”

They struck up a friendship during their time at Top Gun. The two bonded over their NCAA careers and sports in general. Nat admired Y/n for being able to balance being an athlete and aviator, for she made the difficult decision to not pursue her sport after college. What was ironic was they didn’t feel threatened by the other when going after the top spot in their class, considering they were both obviously competitive. Both had immense respect for the other, and didn’t care at the end of the day who came out on top. They both had similar hobbies outside of flying and would spend nights watching movies, going to the bars, or playing volleyball with their fellow pilots. It was a genuine friendship with Nat supporting Y/n even after they graduated from Top Gun both ranked #1 in their class.

Nat even took time off to attend the 2016 U.S. Track & Field Olympic Trials. There she witnessed Y/n, who she now called a best friend, qualify for their third consecutive Olympics. Nat never screamed louder in her life than when Y/n took the top spot on the team for their events. “Oh my God, you did it!” She hugged the athlete when it was all done. “Holy shit congratulations, Oly! This is it—this is gonna be your year!” Nat wouldn’t be in Rio, but promised to cheer Y/n from home.

Unfortunately the journey for the individual gold medal ended before it could even start. After qualifying for the 100m and 200m finals with the expectation of being part of the relay team once again, Y/n’s dream of gold crashed during the semifinals of the 400m.

Literally crashed.

Their signature event which had an Olympic bronze and silver to their name as well as several World titles, ended in catastrophe. As Y/n came up on the last leg with the final turn, Y/n had a tight lead against their main opponent. But before they could blink the athlete to their left tripped and fell to the side directly in front of them. Moving so fast and unable to stop to avoid the person, Y/n topped over and felt a searing pain in their side as they landed awkwardly.

Gasps rang out before the stadium fell silent with just the faint sound of cheers from the winners of the race. Y/n was panting, clutching onto their side as fire filled the entire right side of their body. The athlete who tripped was in tears and apologizing profusely. There was still adrenaline from the sprint as the arena stopped spinning around Y/n. Determined to cross the finish line, Y/n pulled themself up and helped their fellow athlete up, “It’s okay, c’mon. Let’s finish this.” They were crying and Y/n had their own tears from the pain in their side and leg, but they only had a few yards to go. Cradling their right arm, Y/n was practically limping alongside their opponent while struggling to breath. Each time they took a breath they were met with pain, not to mention each step had them wince.

They didn’t want to think of the extent of the injuries. The pain alone indicated it was bad. Y/n knew right there their Rio run was done for. Their lips trembled as the reality set in.

The athlete saw Y/n’s condition and immediately brought them to their side as they approached the finish line. Cheers and claps ignited the stadium. There was no doubt they were moved by the display of sportsmanship between two athletes from differing nations. Both with the same goal of Olympic glory that would not be delivered.

Y/n was swarmed by the medical staff. The athlete who tripped them kept apologizing, filled with guilt, embarrassment and shame causing injuries to the Olympian. They felt a little pain from falling but nothing to the extent Y/n had. They had practically gone flying forward and crash landed to avoid hitting their head hard on the track. Now that the adrenaline had finally worn off, Y/n was having to do everything to hold back from collapsing. Y/n embraced the athlete with a hug despite the multiple medics yelling at them, “Don’t blame yourself, it could have happened to anyone. Okay? I’m not angry with you at all.” It was true, Y/n wasn’t angry. Were they sad? Of course, their Olympics were totally over after being diagnosed with a fractured right arm, a bruised rib, mild concussion from hitting their head on the track, and a torn ACL in their right knee.

Commentators were speechless when the incident occurred, “Coming around the corner on the final stretch it’s a tight race between USA, Jamaica, and France—Oh! Oh no! Oh my goodness, there’s been a crash here ladies and gentleman and it doesn’t look good for the American Y/n L/n. Not at all, they are not moving—oh wait no they are getting up right now and helping the athlete from Poland. But L/n looks to be in pain they’re holding onto their arm and I can see they are having trouble jogging—a slight limp to their step. Now the Polish athlete has taken L/n under their arm and they are crossing the finish line to the cheers of the arena in a display that could only be described as what the Olympics is truly about. Great sportsmanship here folks. It’s unsure what L/n is feeling right now but one thing is certain, we will not get to see Y/n go for the gold in the 400m final.”

After the race when the NBC announcers live from Rio were in the studio recapping, they gave an update to Y/n’s situation.

“Breaking news we’ve just received on American Y/n L/n. After the unfortunate incident in tonight’s 400m semifinal, the 26-year-old from Nashville, Tennessee was rushed to the hospital after it was realized the injuries they sustained were more severe than what they thought. It’s being reported Y/n is in surgery for a fracture to their right arm and torn ligament in their right knee. It’s also been noted the athlete suffered a mild concussion as well as a bruised rib. Their coach has come out with a statement on behalf of L/n letting it be known they’ll not be competing in the 100 and 200m finals nor the 4x100 and 4x400m relays they were scheduled to compete in. L/n also has said they will remain in Rio to recover until after the conclusion of these Olympic Games before returning with their teammates to the States.

“The gold medalist in the team relay from four years ago has not said if they will be aiming for a shot at the 2020 games in Tokyo, Japan. L/n was the 2008 bronze medalist in the 400m dash before claiming silver medals in the 100, 200, and 400m in London as well as sharing the gold for the 4x100m relay. They were the leading contender for an individual gold in one of the events after dominating the 2013 and 2014 World Championships. The three-time Olympian pulled out from the 2015 season due to conflicting commitments after revealing in 2012 they were commissioned into the United States Navy following their time at Vanderbilt University. These games in Rio were their first international competition since the one year hiatus. We can only hope Y/n will continue their journey to an individual gold medal in Tokyo, but from those of us in the studio and on behalf of everyone watching at home, we wish Y/n L/n a speedy recovery and safe trip back to the States.”

It was a solemn week in Rio with Y/n sitting in a hospital bed and the games playing on the tv screen. Their coach was with them, as was their dad and together they cheered the US when they took the gold in several events including defending the 4x100m relay. The doctors in Rio gave Y/n a recovery period of nearly one year—the longest healing process being the torn knee. It would be nine months until Y/n could even jog on it, but the doctors recommended waiting a full year before testing it. PT was going to be a pain in the ass, but as long as they didn’t run or do sprints then Y/n would be able to do all else after everything else healed.

Their concussion lasted a couple weeks and the bruised rib took over a month to heal, as did the fractured arm. The 2017 worlds and nationals were out of the question. Thankfully Y/n was still able to fly once the concussion was gone and their arm was fully functional.

The entire year the athlete was unsure of what to do about Tokyo. All their focus was put into flying. Running missions instead of the track and being promoted to Lieutenant in 2018. That same year they decided to try for one more shot at Olympic gold by training for Tokyo. Their coach and parents were all too pleased—even Nat after Y/n called her up to ask for advice. They had a lot to work on since Y/n waited an extra six months after fully recovering. The 2018 season was unattainable so the goal was a comeback in the 2019 season gearing up for the 2020 Olympics.

Just like when Y/n was a child, blood, sweat, and tears were put into training. More times could they remember wanting to quit when their knee started to act up after a bad start off the blocks. They had more arguments with their coach which only fueled the fire. Lastly they were on intense missions that took a toll on their mental health. Nat would check in on them every once in a while, but Y/n brushed it off. This is what they signed up for. They made their bed, now they were to lay in it.

2019 nearly brought deja vu. The World Championships were held in Qatar at the end of September leading into October when Y/n got the call from Vice Admiral Beau ‘Cyclone’ Simpson.

“The Pentagon has tasked me with assembling a strike team for a special detachment. I’ve seen your record and I feel you have what it takes to be a possible member of this mission. Now I know your situation and it is my understanding you’re currently in Qatar, what time are you expected to be stateside?”

Y/n’s hands were shaking, dread filling them at the thought they would likely have to decline an assignment. But these championships were more imported. “The last day is the sixth, but if I qualify for the finals of all my events then I should be done by the fifth, sir.”

“That’s perfect,” his words had them sigh in relief. “The tentative date to report to North Island is the 24th. I’ll be emailing you the information at another time.”

“Yes, sir. I will be there. Thank you for informing me, sir.”

“Oh and Lieutenant?” Cyclone stopped them before they could end the call.

“Yes, sir?”

There’s a slight pause, “Good luck out there. Bring home the gold for us.”

And bring it home they did. In an amazing comeback after what could have been a career ending injury, Y/n L/n reclaimed their title as the world champion in the 400m dash. They fell short in the 200m, but left with the silver and even secured the gold for the team 4x100m & 4x400m relays. People called it the ‘comeback of the decade,’ and Y/n fell subject to a lot of media attention in the world of sports. Their publicist did their best to handle the press once they found out about Y/n’s upcoming commitment. “I won’t let a single soul find out about this, Y/n, I promise you. The devil works hard, but I work harder.”

Once stateside track was put on hold to prepare and partake for the special Top Gun detachment. Dressed in their service khaki’s, Y/n entered The Hard Deck for the first time in three years and was immediately tackled by Phoenix. “You’re here! Holy shit when did you get back?”

“Like two weeks ago, I’ve been chilling since Qatar since there were no assignments until this.”

“Wait, you’re here for the Top Gun detachment too?” Phoenix raised a brow before frowning, “Why didn’t you tell me the other day on the phone?”

Y/n gave the woman a look, “I wasn’t sure we could even mention it to people. Plus you didn’t say anything either, Phee.” They got her there, the pilot raising a hand as if to say, “touché”. By now they have drawn the attention of several other aviators, who all appeared amused by the display of affection by Natasha and were curious to know who it was that received it. One person, Bob, had their jaw dropped when it clicked who they were. Payback appeared to be deep in thought, like they recognized Y/n but couldn’t put a name to their face.

“Trace, you gonna introduce us to your friend?” the blonde aviator, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin said with a pool cue in hand. He was totally checking Y/n out with a settle drift of the eyes up and down. They didn’t look impressed but smiled to the others nonetheless.

Natasha brought the pilot over and proudly introduced them, “Fellas, this is Y/n L/n. Better known as ‘Olympian.’ One of the best damn pilots you’ll ever see. We both shared the honor of first in the class at Top Gun in 2015.” Nat then introduced all the guys and their callsigns, Y/n shaking each of their hands—Bob still appeared starstruck when they let go of his hand.

“Olympian, huh?” Hangman chuckled at the name, “That’s quite the callsign. What are you Greek? Or obsessed with mythology?” Rooster glared at the man, but also looked curious for the reason behind the Y/n’s callsign. Even their name sounded familiar. They had yet to see the tattoo on Y/n’s bicep, which now had the names Beijing XXIX, London XXX and Rio XXXI in tiny cursive below the rings.

Before Nat or Y/n could fire back at Jake, Bob dropped his cup of peanut shells. Everyone looked at him like, ‘what the hell, man?’ But Y/n started to smile, recognizing the shock in his face as though he had been right about something.

“S-sorry. Oh my God,” he stuttered with red cheeks, “You’re Y/n L/n. L-like THE Olympic gold medalist Y/n L/n. Oh my God I’ve watched you since 2008–since Beijing!” The revelation had shocked looks from everyone now besides Nat of course.

Payback suddenly jumped from his seat, “holy shit! I knew I recognized you from somewhere but couldn’t exactly figure it out for the life of me.” The man was stationed in London at the time of the Olympic Games and attended the night the US won gold in the relays. Now here is a member that he cheered on from the stands in front of him. “Wow, I was in London seven years ago—I-I saw you compete. This is fucking unreal.” Y/n laughed, shaking Payback’s hand. He was still coming down from the shock, having just crossed his mind that all over ESPN and Sportscenter the past month sportscasters were talking about Y/n’s comeback.

“Wait a minute,” Rooster pitched in, the memory of being in a bar the summer of 2016 played in his mind. In the same memory he remembered watching the 400m semifinals on the tv scream and gasping with everyone else when the American contender for the gold had tripped over their competitor and was out the remainder of the games. Coming closer to the scene in front of him, Rooster’s eyes caught the black ink on Y/n’s bicep. “Well I’ll be damned. You’re a pilot, a naval pilot like us? And you’re a fucking olympian?”

“Three-time to be exact, but who’s counting?” Y/n teased, causing Phoenix to chuckle and hand them a beer. All the men minus Payback and Bob, who had slight knowledge of Y/n’s career, practically had their eyes bulging. Rooster honestly thought they had just been in London and Rio. “It’s nice to meet you all. And to answer your question…Bradley, right?”

“Yeah, but please call me Rooster.” Y/n tried not to giggle at the callsign.

“Rooster, but yes I am a pilot, as our lovely Phoenix has pointed out I graduated Top Gun with her three years ago.”

“Weren’t you just in Qatar two weeks ago?” Payback asked when he remembered the World Championships in Athletics had just taken place. All over sportscenter they were talking about the comeback of the decade. “I swear I just watched you on my tv the other day during replays of the world championships.”

Y/n sipped their beer before replying with a nod, “Yeah I was. I probably wouldn’t be here if the timing wasn’t perfect.”

“That’s crazy,” Fanboy commented, still in disbelief he was speaking to an actual Olympic athlete. After hearing the stories from his fellow athletes— and doing a quick google search when no one was looking—Mickey was internally fanboying like his callsign namesake. “How have you managed to do both?”

“Lot’s of sleepless nights, determination, desire to win, and tequila on the weekends.” There were laughs at that. For the rest of the night Y/n fell into conversation with everyone. A few asked for a picture, which they were happy to do, and even signed some autographs for Bob and Fanboy. They caught up with Nat, relieved London memories with Payback and went into detail about their injuries when Rooster brought it up.

“I was at the bar with some buddies and saw that happen live. Everyone couldn’t believe it and I remember seeing you limp across the finish line with the, I think it was the Polish athlete? That’s amazing you even managed to get up after a crash like that.” Y/n was on their second beer, sitting between Bob and Coyote and across from Rooster while the others listened from the sides as they continued the game of pool.

“What were you thinking at that moment?” Javy asked with curiosity. “Did you like automatically know it was over for you?”

Y/n thought for a bit before replying, “the second I hit the track I knew my chances for the 400m were done—it was the semifinals after all. When I first felt the pain I thought it was the typical instant pain that would go away after a bit. Then when I started to move it got worse and as soon as I got up I thought, ‘yeah there’s no way I’m gonna be able to do the finals or relays.’ My chest was on fire from the bruised rib and then I could barely feel my knee once the adrenaline wore off. I probably would’ve collapsed after the finish line if they weren’t holding me up.”

‘Damns’ and ‘wows,’ rang out before Bob politely asked, “Are you going to try for the Tokyo team?”

“Yup,” they exhaled with a nervous chuckle at the end. “It’s gonna be tough I feel with how these past couple seasons have been, but I’m hoping for one final Olympics. It will be my last chance at gold—Individual gold,” they corrected before anyone could comment.

“You’re gonna retire?” Fanboy tilted his head, a little saddened at the thought. Throughout the night he had been on his phone watching replays of Y/n’s meets including their Olympic and World Championship runs. He tried not to react when he watched the 2016 400m semifinals. Now the thought of them retiring felt like a loss to the sport. It was like how he felt when Michael Phelps and Usain Bolt retired.

“Maybe not fully,” Y/n gave a small smile. “I might do one last season and a Worlds, but I don’t think I’m gonna go for the Paris Games.”

Payback came over and clapped them on the back, “Well I don’t know about these clowns but you can count on me to cheer you on next year. Hell I might even come to the trials.”

“That’s what I did in ‘16,” Phoenix cut in with a smile. “It was amazing and I’ll be in the stands again. Already planning to take time off to be there.” Y/n felt the warmth and gratitude swarm in them, “Thanks, Phee.”

What should have been three weeks of special combat training turned out to be two. The pressure was on with Y/n pushing their limit harder than ever—even exceeded that of their comeback. Never had the F-18 they’d become accustomed to flying feel like a stranger. Maverick was like their coach and Y/n made it their own personal goal to prove to him they had what it took to fly the mission.

At one point Y/n nearly pulled out as a candidate. When the details of the assignment were brought into light Y/n had to think hard about what they were doing. It was not going to be an easy mission. Not by a long shot. Ending badly was a great possibility compared to actually pulling it off. Their life was on the line.

What if they died? What if they got injured to the point they would have to medically retire? Decades of training for the Olympics would end if something horrible happened. Y/n had three to their name, an honor not everyone gets to have, but there was their chance at redemption after 2016 was now on the line.

In the end 6 of the 13 candidates were chosen and although Y/n felt a little saddened they were not chosen, there was a sense of relief. They were put on reserves and boarded the carrier for a long week ahead of them. When it was time to send off their teammates, Y/n pulled them each into a hug, letting it linger on Nat and making her promise to come back. “If worse comes to worse, L/n,” Payback said, “You better win the gold in our honor.” There were mutters of agreement from the others.

“How about you focus on coming back so you can watch me win it in your honor.”

They fulfilled the promise, because now here they were in The Hard Deck about to watch Y/n attempt to keep their side of the bargain. It was 5:15 am on Friday August 6th, 2021. The second to last day of the Games of the XXXII Olympiad held in Tokyo, Japan. And it was the finals of the 400m sprint.

Just a couple months ago in June several members of the squad including Phoenix, Payback, Rooster, Hangman, & Bob met up in Eugene, Oregon to attend the trials for the U.S Olympic Track & Field Team. Following covid precautions they wore their masks and stayed together in their own little group literally competing themselves on who could cheer the loudest. It was a bittersweet moment watching their friend and former teammate secure their place in their fourth and final Olympics. Hangman and Phoenix nearly shed a tear, the former consumed with emotion as they looked on proud at their partner waving to the crowd. Their romance was a surprise, but after the two met to catch up in March of 2020, they ended up having to go thorough lockdown together.

And well…..forced proximity can do wonders when you’re attracted to someone.

Jake wished he could be in Tokyo with Y/n, but even though it had been over a year since the virus broke out and sanctions were being uplifted there were still regulations set in stone for the Olympics. The entire event was postponed a whole year, but was still referred to as the 2020 Olympics despite being 2021. Only the athletes and coaches, which were limited to only one, were allowed to travel. Leading up to the Games, Penny had issued a vaccination verification and made the mask policy optional for those who had been fully vaccinated. She even went as far as making a limit for attendees during the week of the track and field events and had people reserve a spot in advance. She even set up screens outside for people to keep space in the building.

It was still a pretty full house and it was buzzing with excitement as it had been the whole week. Many were regulars who came every night to watch the heats, semifinals, and finals of many events but mostly people were there to watch their very own Top Gun alumni Y/n L/n. Even their parents were there—flying to San Diego to be a part of the watch party. They were already filled with nerves, Y/n’s mother was very upset she couldn’t be there in Tokyo with her child. If they won the gold it would be a bittersweet moment since her parents wouldn’t be there to celebrate in person until they returned home.

It was already a successful Games for the Olympian. The week before Y/n won the bronze in the 100m dash and 4x400 mixed relay and reclaimed the silver in the 200m. The place erupted in cheers each time with the dagger squad being the loudest. It would increase whenever the camera panned to Y/n, who was in obvious joy at racking more medals to their Olympic collection.

But now the pressure was on with one final individual event.

The 400m sprint.

Their signature event with two medals and several titles to their name.

One final shot at gold.

There would still be the relays, in which the final for the 4x100m would take place an hour after the 400m final and then the 4x400m the following night, but Y/n becoming an Olympic champion for an individual event would happen in less than fifteen minutes. The program flipped between other events while in prep for the race, often showing Y/n in the tunnel as they awaited the announcement of the finalists.

At around 5:20 all eyes were glued to the screen with someone yelling, “Turn it up!’ when the sportscasters appeared to be talking about Y/n. The pilots all had the same expression, wincing when they replayed the footage of the 2016 semifinals.

“I think we can all agree we are looking forward to this race, right Steph?”

“That’s right, John. You know, all eyes have been on Y/n L/n these Games. They have already had a great run with three medals, two bronze and a silver with three more events to go. They have quite the Olympic career since their debut in 2008 at the age of eighteen. They came up forth in the 200m in Beijing and walked away with the bronze medal in the 400m,” below the commentator was Y/n’s Olympic statistics. “Then they had a spectacular run in London where we saw them on the podium in each of their events. Silver medals in the sprints and It was their start off the blocks in the 4x100m relay that I believe is what secured the Americans the gold.”

“I agree, Steph. I can still recall that race and the emotions I felt. L/n had an amazing post-Olympic run after London—totally dominating the 2013 & 2014 seasons. Let’s not forget they were one of the top athletes in the NCAA’s during their time at Vanderbilt. I definitely believe it would have continued into 2015 if they hadn’t pulled out, but they still were the leading contender for the Rio Games. It was the height of the career I feel.” The screen was now split to showcase footage of Y/n’s 2013 & 2014 Worlds. Then it showed the heats and semifinals of Rio.

“Totally, John, they dominated the trials that year. They very well could have left Rio with more medals—quite possibly a gold in 400m which is their signature event. Everytime I rewatch the semifinals I almost have to look away at the final turn.”

“I know, it was an unfortunate incident that ended Y/n’s Olympics before they could really start. We almost didn’t know if we would even see them here in Tokyo, but after a spectacular comeback at the 2019 World Championships in Qatar, I had very high hopes we would get to this moment.”

“Me too, John, the pressure is on for the 31-year-old, let’s see if they can deliver,” the commentator turns to look at the camera with Y/n’s picture beside her, “Well it’s almost time for the 400m and it looks they are about to announce the finalists so we are going to have our crew in the stadium takeover our coverage. We will see you back here in the studio after the race and be sure to stick around because the night won’t be over for the four-time Olympian. Y/n is set to be one the four of today’s 4x100m relay final and tomorrow’s 4x400m relay.”

The screen switched to reveal the stadium, specifically the entrance tunnel where a projection would show the name and nation of the finalists. Y/n had taken the top spot in their heat and the semifinal so they would get the fourth lane on the track.

“Here we go!” Someone in the Hard Deck clapped, causing a few more people to follow. The cheers heightened when the American flag appeared above the name Y/n L/n.

First the announcement was in Japanese, then the English translator spoke through the stadium “In Lane Four, representing the United States of America, Y/n L/n!” With a shy smile, Y/n appeared from the side and walked until they were directly beneath their name. Then they turned to the camera and gave a wave followed by blowing a kiss to the screen and lastly throwing a peace sign. It must have been a little awkward without a packed stadium like the previous Games. Only a small section was filled with locals and the coaches of the athletes.

“That’s my best friend!” Nat yelled over the cheers. Several others followed the pilot, “Let’s go, Y/n!” “Bring it home!” “One last time, baby, let’s go!”

The remaining finalists were announced and took their place behind the starting blocks. When the camera panned to Y/n, their eyes were closed in a silent prayer.

“Take your mark.”

Their eyes snapped open with a shaky breath, feet carrying them to the starting blocks. Y/n did a ritual stretch down, tapping the tops of their toes with their hands before bending down to place their feet in the right position. Glancing up to the sky, Y/n said in their head, “please, give me this one moment.” Tucking their chin into their chest, Y/n waiting with anticipation like everyone else in the world watching.

It was like time slowed. “Set.” Their knees lifted off the track.

*Pop* the sound of the gun and Y/n catapulted off the blocks. Their eyes never faltered as they ahead at the track and let their legs do the work. In their peripheral they saw their opponents, the space between them slowly decreasing by the second as they pulled into the final stretch. Coming around the corner there was no one in Y/n’s sight. The finish line drew closer. Y/n didn’t know if they were in the lead by a long shot or if it was only a nanosecond.

Their heart pounded in their chest, sweat dripping from their forehead. Heaved breaths left their mouth and Y/n could feel her bad knee start to burn. But they pushed and they pushed.

All Y/n knew as they crossed the finish line was the world record flashed and their eyes snapped to the board which resulted in them screaming. As the announcer yelled through the coms, “WORLD RECORD!!” Y/n fell to their knees in tears.

#1 Y/N L/N—USA 47.50 (WR, OR)

Below their name were spots 2-8. And not only did Y/n just take the gold in their last individual event, but they also broke the World and Olympic records. Records that had been set for decades.

When Y/n finally lifted their head they were met with beaming faces of their competitors. They all congratulated the athlete, some hugging and patting their back. The world record sign was still flashing and Y/n felt another wave of emotion. This time they ran to their coach, aware the cameraman was keeping up with them to get a close look for the viewers at home.

Y/n could only imagine what it was like in Fightertown.

The second the athletes were lining up, Coyote yelled, “Everybody shut up!!” Silence filled the building, everyone’s focus on their respected screen. “Set.” *Pop* The racers were off and the commentators were already speaking frantically. “Great start off the blocks for L/n, coming around on the first turn neck and neck with the athlete from the Bahamas. Jamaica and Great Britain are not too far as they take on the long stretch of the track.”

“Go! Go!” People started to scream. Bob was biting his nails, Rooster was gripping his beer bottle. Hangman and Coyote were already off of their seats, “C’mon, Y/n! You got this!” It got louder as they approached the final turn.

“L/n is starting to pull a lead as they come up the turn, but the Bahamas are right there—this was the moment L/n’s Olympic dreams were shattered in Rio—O-oh! L/n has overtaken the Bahamas—they’ve got a huge gap as they pull into the final stretch! Oh my God we could be witnessing history—L/n is .10ths of a second ahead of the World Record and increasing their lead ahead of the others by an outstanding margin!”

“Let’s go!!!” The commentators' words were barely there as it competed with the uproar of spectators in the Hard Deck. Everyone was pretty much out of their seats and jumping as they watched Y/n’s lead increase with each step to the finish line. “You’re almost there!! Go! Go! Go!”

Then it exploded.

“THEY’VE DONE IT! Y/N L/n has won the gold for America!! They smashed the Olympic record and set the World record for the 400m dash by .10 of a second at these Olympic Games in Tokyo!”

“OH MY GOD!!!” Phoenix and several others screamed. She and Halo embraced in a hug with Nat covering her mouth to hold back her emotion when the screen showed Y/n screaming out to the sky before falling to their knees. The guys were all jumping around, Rooster and Payback embraced in a side hug, pulling Jake who was pretty much in tears as he watched the display of his partner.

“After heartbreak four years ago in Rio that put them out of a chance for the gold, Y/n L/n has come out on top in Tokyo. They can finally add Olympic Champion to their name as well as Olympic and World record holder of the 400m dash. In what could be the last time we see Y/n L/n in an Olympic Games, they have achieved what they set out to do since their debut in Beijing 13 years ago. What a stunning finish to a beautiful Olympic career in the sport of track and field.”

Y/n’s parents were clenched in each other’s arms, eyes rimmed as their own tears poured. They were filled with so much happiness for their child and wished nothing more to be in the crowd and share this moment with them. At the bar top Warlock, Hondo, and Maverick were high-fiving while Cyclone clapped along with a smile. Penny rang the bell simply to join the cheers.

It was truly spectacular to witness. The slow motion replay was on the screen followed by the Y/n’s reaction when they looked up to find their name on the board. The cheers kept going and only started to quiet down when TV showed the athlete in their post race interview. “Y/n, what a night here tonight. Congratulations are in store, you have not only taken an individual gold but also the World record—and the Olympic record! It’s your fourth medal in these Games, the first gold—how are you feeling right now after this victory?”

Everyone hushed to listen, but were grinning wide and some were wiping away tears. Y/n’s face was flushed, still coming off of the high of what had just happened. “O-oh I can’t even put it into words how I’m feeling right now,” there was a slight sniff, Y/n using their finger to wipe their face but was careful not to let the material of the American flag draped around their shoulders touch their skin.

“This is a dream come true. It has been a long journey to get here and I-I am so honored to have been a part of this team for as long as I have. You know after the 100 & 200 I didn’t want to have my hopes too high because as you can see anything can happen in these Games,” Y/n chuckled, eyes glossy, “I think I may have actually blacked out on the last stretch. I just kept my focus on the finish line and was just as amazed to see I had broken the records.”

The title card on the screen now showed: Y/n L/n, Gold Medalist, 400m (WR, OR: 47.50).

“Your friends and family have all gathered in San Diego—they’re watching right now and we actually got footage of their reaction to your win tonight. We’d love to show you if you like.”

“Oh God please,” Y/n was already giggling. The assistant brought over an ipad with a video and pressed play. On the tv screens the image split to show the video beside Y/n’s face to capture their own reaction. They saw the daggers squad in front of the bar while their superiors including Maverick were seated at the bar top. They were all surrounded by servicemen and women as well as civilians. Y/n teared up when they spotted their parents near Jake. By the end of it Y/n was basically crying while laughing. “Oh my God, that is amazing. I wish they could’ve been in the stands. I know my parents are probably thinking how the one time they can’t see me compete in person is when I win.”

The reporter laughed along with them. “I know I gotta let you go cause you’re set to race the relay in less than an hour and the podium ceremony is about to start, but before you go I just want to ask if this is the last time we’ll see you after these Games conclude Sunday night.”

Y/n softly smiled to the reporter, bottom lip slightly trembling, “uhh, you know I wasn’t completely sure. Since Rio I’ve had some troubles with my knee after the torn ACL—I almost wasn’t sure about these Games until 2018. I’ve been talking to Allison Felix these past couple days, since this is gonna be her last Games. Her and I have been part of Team USA for 13 years now and she’s become not only a mentor but a friend to me and i’m going to miss seeing her at competitions. I know I plan to do the 2022 season—especially the Worlds. Paris is only three-years away,” they shrugged, like they were considering it, “I’ll be thirty-four when it comes around so it’s really gonna come down to how I’m feeling after 2022.”

“Well I hope to see you again in Paris, but if not then it was truly a pleasure watching you these years. You’ve been an inspiration to many watching back home in the States. Congratulations again on this win and we can’t wait to see you bring it in the relays. Good luck again tonight.”

“Thank you so so much. I appreciate it and much love to everyone back home—thank you for all the support, especially my mom and dad, my coach, and my friends in Fightertown who I know are probably losing their minds. I love you all and I couldn't have got this gold without each and every one of you. Thank you,” Y/n shakes their hand and blows a kiss to the camera before following the volunteer to locker rooms to change for the podium ceremony.

Just like in London, Y/n was nearly a mess on the podium when the gold medal was presented to them. Per covid regulations, the athlete had to place it around their own neck instead of how it was at previous games with someone else doing the honor. Still, it held everything to Y/n.

They were an Olympic champion.

Tears streaked their face when the national anthem played and when it concluded Y/n kissed the medal and waved to the crowd of spectators that included the media and athletes from other countries. The rest of Team USA’s track athletes were there too, cheering the loudest as some of them have been Y/n’s teammates for over a decade. After pictures with the other medalists Y/n was rushed to get ready for the relay that was to start in 20 minutes. At the Hard Deck it was an emotional scene watching the podium ceremony. Jake and Nat were embraced, looking on with glossy eyes while everyone beamed at the screen. Y/n’s parents were with them too. It was bittersweet.

20 minutes later they were in cheers once again when Team USA took the silver in the 4x100m relay. Y/n kick started it off like they did in London, but this time fell short to second place by a smudge. It still was a celebration with Y/n adding another silver medal to their personal Tokyo medal count. It was passed one in the morning in Tokyo when Y/n FaceTimed Jake after the podium ceremony. They were met with shouts of joy from everyone in proximity that it was hard to even make out the individual voices.

“You fucking did it!!”

“Congratulations, Lightning McQueen, you were amazing!”

“Holy shit, Olympic gold!”

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Y/n. I wish I could hug you right now.”

The call was brief but wholesome with Y/n thanking the entire squad for their support and they loved watching their reaction to the race. Jake spoke on behalf of the others with the promise to celebrate the second Y/n returned to San Diego in three days. After goodbyes and a quick chat with their parents, Y/n ended the call to get much needed sleep for their final race the next day. The Hard Deck cleared out soon after with many calling it a day.

It was the same scene the next morning at 5:30 am to watch the final of the 4x400m relay. “It is the final day in these Olympic Games after a spectacular two weeks in Tokyo. Many firsts have been made. There are just a few events to get through tonight before closing ceremonies tomorrow evening. All eyes are now on the finals of the 4x400m relay. And boy is there a lineup tonight with the Americans looking to defend with a seventh-straight title.”

“It’s going to be an interesting finals tonight, Mark. Like you mentioned, the US have retained the title of Olympic champions in this event since the 1996 Games in Atlanta. They are unstoppable and this is the first time Y/n L/n is part of the group. They won the gold in London for the 4x100 and just last night took silver in the event. Four years ago in Rio they were set to be on both the 4x100 and 4x400, but after a tragic semi finals that ended with a torn ACL, L/n had to pull out of Games.”

On the screen the team was announced with all four athletes appearing from the side. Together they did a little dance for the cameras before going to the track. “I’m interested to see how L/n does tonight and if they can pull through. This event is truly a team effort and unlike last night, L/n is set to anchor the Americans in the final pass rather than starting. They just won the gold in the 400m last night in a stunning record breaking finish—I’m still in disbelief.”

The Hard Deck painted a familiar picture as the previous morning. The Daggers were on the edge of their seats when the race started and Penny stopped taking orders when the third pass began. The camera was split to show Y/n taking their spot on the track to await the baton. Then the screen went back to one when the American came up on the last turn. “Here comes the final pass of the bottom in the final leg of this 4x400 relay. Poland and Jamaica are not far behind, but the Americans have given Y/n L/n a lead—and there they go! Beautiful pass from teammate to teammate and Y/n L/n is off to hopefully bring the US their seventh consecutive gold.”

“C’mon, baby, let’s go!!” Jake yelled, the others echoing his cheers. At the bar patrons were clapping the surface.

“They’re gonna get it—look at the lead!”

“It’s not over yet.”

“Let’s go, Y/n, you’re almost there!” The athlete increased the distance between them and the polish on the stretch coming into the final turn. The cheers got louder and louder with many already celebrating when it was obvious the Polish were not gonna catch up. The announcers knew it too.

“Poland has overtaken Jamaica but it will not be enough for Olympic glory—Y/n L/n has increased the margin their teammates had given them and has no doubt secured them the gold! All there is left to do is cross the finish line and the Americans have done it again! L/n has finished the job and given Team USA their seventh straight gold medal in the 4x400m relay!!” The last line was in tune with Y/n crossing the finish line. A large smile plastered on their face as a cry of joy left them that the camera managed to capture. Their teammates met them in the middle with the four embracing in cheers.

The Hard Deck exploded again when Y/n crossed the finish line, matching their reaction as though they were the ones who just won the gold for their country. They couldn’t wait for Tuesday when Y/n came home and they could celebrate the big wins together. Jake was really excited especially after having a heart-to-heart with Y/n’s father. The ring was safely tucked away in his suitcase as a reminder of what he had planned for his Olympian.

The rest of the daggers, including Mav and Hondo ended up staying an extra hour after the podium ceremony to celebrate their friend. Many were still in disbelief, but filled with absolute joy. Who wouldn’t really? They had just witnessed their friend win their sixth medal in a single Olympics. Something uncommon for even athletes who qualify for multiple events.

But Y/n did it.

They left Tokyo with two bronze, two silver, and two gold. In four Olympics Y/n started from a single bronze in their debut to their first team gold in London, leaving with nothing in Rio to finally medaling in every event they raced in Tokyo. Their first individual gold after thirteen years of hard work and dedication to rise to the top since they sat in the stands of the Centennial Olympic Stadium.

It was a golden end to an Olympic dream 25 years in the making.

Or so they thought…..

When the stars painted Paris on the night of August 11th, 2024, the final night of the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad, Y/n L/n waved to the crowd in a bittersweet goodbye as they wore the Stars and Stripes one final time. It was hard to hear over the roar of spectators from all over the world. Not a single seat had been empty for the final race of Y/n L/n’s career. Athletes from other disciplines attended, some in tears by the overwhelming emotion of the moment.

“It is an emotional scene here tonight in the Stade de France as we say goodbye to Y/n L/n of the United States. There isn’t a dry eye in sight as spectators and athletes from around the globe watch the five-time Olympian take their final bow after winning the gold with the Americans in the 4x400m relay in their eighth consecutive title. In what could be described as the greatest Olympic run a track athlete has ever done, Y/n L/n has achieved the impossible in Paris with six gold medals in six events. Never has an Olympian taken the gold in the 100, 200, 400m, and all three team relays in a single Olympics, but Y/n L/n has made history. They are also the second Olympian and only American to win gold in the 100, 200, and 400m in a single Olympic Games.”

Y/n walked the track with a cameraman following them, hand that was not waving patting their chest where their heart laid. The hand now had a gold wedding band and Tokyo XXXII and Paris XXXIII added to the bicep tattoo. Y/n’s teammates that they just won the gold with had stood to the side, clapping with the crowd with American flags draped around their shoulder and tears cascading their cheeks.

Y/n finally made it to the section where the majority of Americans who had traveled from the States were seated in a sea of red, white, and blue. Y/e/c went straight to the front few rows and were immediately met with the sight of not only their parents beaming faces, but the ones of their closest friends. None of them were hiding their emotion. Phoenix was embraced by Rooster, the two wiping away at their faces as was Bob. Fanboy and Coyote were teary eyed while Payback just nodded with a bright grin, bringing his fingers up to whistle. Even Maverick, who was now retired from the Navy, was in attendance looking like a proud father.

And Jake? Jake was a mess.

His green eyes were pretty much bloodshot but there was love and admiration in his gaze. His own wedding band reflected under the stadium lights and he made the motion of catching the kiss Y/n blew to him before placing it on his heart. All he wanted to do was jump over the railing and hug his spouse, but unfortunately that would have to wait until after the podium ceremony.

The extinguishing of the Olympic torch at the closing ceremonies would signal the start of Y/n’s retirement from the world of athletics. It would close one chapter, but the other was still in progress. There was still time for them to be the best of the best in terms of naval aviators. They were not even halfway into their Naval career.

And they were totally up for the challenge, because nothing is impossible when going for the gold.

[leer-reading-lire]

Last read:

Title: Dracula

Author: Bram Stoker

Illustrator: Edward Gorey

Number of Pages: 427

Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

First published: 1897

Read: 3 May – 27 November 2023

Thoughts: 

I finally got around to re-read this novel! And I couldn’t have done it without Dracula daily and everyone in Tumblr commenting the story and sharing their art. 

I loved the experience of reading along with so many people and their posts about it always gave me food for thought. It truly made my reflections about the book richer. 

The first time I read this epistolary novel I was fifteen years old and since then I had forgotten many important plot points, as well as some characters. However, I remembered that I had loved the story, and I was fascinated by Mina Murray and Jonathan Harker. Mina was my favorite character and, back then, my favorite suitor was John Seward, followed by Quincey Morris. 

I definitely appreciated reading the letters and diaries’ entries in chronological order. I think it may be the better option for a first-time reader.

This time around I felt Jonathan’s terror, hopelessness, and desperation. I was genuinely moved by his trials and tribulations when he was held prisoner at Dracula’s castle.

I loved the voyage of the Demeter because I could feel the anxiety and fear of the sailors. The whole journey was nerve-wrecking.

A character that took me by surprised and completely won me over was Lucy Westenra. I’m angry in her behalf for all the horrible adaptations that portray her under misogynistic lights. A particularly terrifying scene for me was Mrs. Westenra’s death. And when Lucy died was heartbreaking. 

The part with the Bloofer Lady was intriguing. Here I have to say that while I had overlooked Arthur Holmwood in my first reading years ago, this time I got to appreciate his character and I could clearly see why Lucy had chosen him. He was so kind and loved her very much. They were so in love and eager to start their live together, it was all so tragic. 

Likewise, I’m in awe for John Quincey, Arthur Holmwood and Quincey Morris’ friendship. The affection that the three friends had for each other is hard to miss. I was astonished by Stoker; all his depictions of masculinity are something else. Specially, in Jonathan’s case.

Abraham van Helsing annoyed me and frustrated me for most of the time that he was on the page. I think I only warmed up to him in the final part when he and Mina traveled to Dracula’s castle.

Mina was extraordinary! I loved that she liked to ask about ghost stories, and she was so smart, organized and kind. I’m particularly keen on her hyperfixation with train schedules. 

The whole scene when Dracula attacked Mina was appalling, truly nightmarish and gruesome. I can’t for the life of me figure out why there are so many adaptations and (fan)fiction where they’re presented as a romantic couple! In my opinion, romanticize abuse is nauseating.

In general, I think pop culture has failed both Lucy and Mina and they certainly deserve better. 

The last section where the whole gang finally comes together; they miraculously stop keeping information from Mina (as they obviously should have done from the beginning); and they work together to defeat Dracula is very exciting! 

The ending was gratifying in many ways, although of course it was ultimately bittersweet. 

This is a fantastic book, extraordinarily well written and full of adventure, fright, suspense, anticipation, mystery, and action. It’s without a doubt one of my favorite novels ever. 

[skylarsblue]

✦Random C.o.D Headcanons✦

(Random Headcanons that I have no where else to put. Also because I can't properly wrITE WORTH SHIT, UGH)

✧Price can swing dance. And very well, mind you. ✧Johnny’s dad gripes at him for not drinking whiskey. “Bout the only Scotsman who won’t drink scotch! ‘hat’s like an Irish man not drinking Guinness!” He’ll say. But Johnny handles liquor really well. He could down three tequila sunrises without a single waver. ✧Gaz used to do ballet as a kid, gymnastics in secondary school. He’s less flexible now because he doesn’t stretch like he used to, but he could probably still manage the splits. ✧PRICE LIKES OLD WESTERNS AND COUNTRY MUSIC. TRY TO TELL ME OTHERWISE, I DARE YE- ✧Ghost’s autistic hyperfixations consist of; Birds, the chemical affects of drugs(of any kind) on the body, the process of decomposition, bones/skeletons, and how different cultures view Death. (Ex; Grin Reaper, Cu Sith, Thanatos, etc.)

✧Gaz is the one that has the most vast music taste, but admittedly he’s got a bit of a favorite spot for what I call “ass shaking music”. Things like Doja Cat to T-Pain, ya know?

✧Johnny whole heartedly believes in ghosts, and while he likes horror, he’s most scared by paranormal ones.

✧Ghost’s go to snack is apples. He is so obsessed with apples he can differentiate each kind with one bite.

✧Price hates being called Johnathan, the only one allowed to call him that is Laswell. And she only uses it to scold him. Like a mom. ✧Alejandro owns a cowboy hat. He bought Rudy a matching one, but he assumes Rodolfo got rid of it since he never wears it. It’s not true. Rudy is just really worried he’ll ruin it, so he keeps it pristine in his closet. He’ll even ensure it doesn’t collect dust. ✧König has a fear of horses. He had a Celtic mythology phase, read a spooky story with a Kelpie in it, and now they scare him. ✧Horangi used to have a gold tooth, and at one point his gambling debt got so high, he pulled it out and sold it. Also Horangi has bad teeth, lots of fillings & cavities. ✧Diabetes runs in Gaz’ family, so he constantly watches his sugar intake. But it’s really hard because he loves sweets. ✧09 Ghost is a trans man. This isn’t a Headcanon, it’s just true.

✧Johnny has oddly soft hands. He doesn’t do anything to them, and objectively, he should have tons of callouses. And yet? Nah, super smooth.

✧Gaz runs warm and prefers warm weather, Price runs warm and prefers cold, Johnny runs cold and prefers warm weather, Ghost runs cold and prefers cold weather. ✧Ghost hates being spooned cause he’s usually bigger, and the feeling of a body against his back, even if warm and alive? Reminds him too much of the feeling of a deadman pressing on his spine. He’d prefer to be the big spoon if he has to cuddle like that.

✧Rudy owns playboys & playgirl magazines. He just hides them SUPER well, because he’s kinda ashamed. He thinks people owning porn is fine, but his mother visits often and she’s a bit of a snoop. ✧Piggy backing off the last one, that’s also why Rudy is so sneaky. He wasn’t necessarily a super bad kid, and his parents weren’t necessarily unbearable. But he often got roped into trouble by others, and his parents were a bit strict, so he got good at sneaking. ✧Valeria & Alejandro are exes, and while there are many reasons they broke up? One was Valeria realizing she’s hella sapphic.

✧Valeria has a collection of naked women paintings. Like, super expensive ones? No one questions her because she’s a cartel queen, they think she just likes art. And she does. But she also is hella biased towards pretty painted ladies.

✧Gaz definitely has at least one crazy ex. Like “I’ll stalk your number, call your mom, and make a scene in public even if we broke up three years ago” crazy. ✧König was a pot smoking metalhead in high school, I will not elaborate. ✧Ghost tends to be clean shaven because the sensory feeling of stubble is uncomfortable, especially under his mask. But he likes facial hair on other people. ✧Farah is on the aroace spectrum. She’s not completely closed off to romance or sex, but like…it’s very very rare for her to experience those kinds of attractions. (Personally I think Alex is her exception, but I’m biased) ✧SPEAKING OF ALEX, man owns a cane. He decorates it, he also decorates his leg. With stickers. Some of them are kiddy/girly cause his niece gave him them. Do not question the Pinkie Pie on his prosthetic, reminds him of what he needs to come home for.

✧Nik & Price definitely have sucked each other’s dicks at least once. Look, besties bestie however they please. Also, c’mon. They’re military men.

✧Johnny somehow manages to miss something someone is telling him when they’re right by his ear. Yet! He’ll catch a random comment from across the room.

✧Also. Johnny is afraid of dogs. But he also likes dogs. It’s a very hard thing to deal with when he wants to pet what gives him heart palpitations.

✧König doesn’t talk to his mother at all. He occasionally talks to his father, but not much. But his grandma?? Every day. He will won’t miss a single day of contact.

✧Gaz writes poems or short stories sometimes as a coping mechanism. But he hides it cause he's embarassed. ✧Johnny had a full out punk phase in high school. He had spikes on a denim jacket, he had an anarchy pin on his rucksack. Full out. And though he didn't get caught, he probably did some teenage delinquent shit like graffiti. Thankfully, the more destructive stuff is more out of his system...mostly anyway. ✧Price didn't have a full hippie phase when he was younger, but he did have friends in that circle, so he picked up one or two things. ✧Ghost didn't have any aesthetic specifically growing up, but he thought Trad Goths were super cool to look at and he definitely got a lil inspiration from them in his everyday life. ✧Gaz also didn't have a particular aesthetic he fell into, but for some reason he was picked up by a group of scene kids in middle school. If you go through his oldest music playlist, EDM is in there a suspicious amount. ✧König is allergic to bees, so, anytime they're around he'll freak the fuck out and sprint away. If it weren't for the fact he had a reason to fear them, it'd look really silly. ✧Soap has ADHD, Ghost is autistic, Laswell has OCD, Rudy has AuDHD, and König is autistic.

[viva-la-bohemia]

The Aftermath

“Come on, get up.”

Lark groaned and clasped the outstretched hand of g-man, his gun-buddy, the man he had done Fortnite dances with at prom while nick and marco laughed from the side Grant Wilson to pull himself up. He looked around slowly at his friends co-workers and made a mental note to take care of the definite concussion that he had. Grant was unloading and reloading his handgun, a nervous tick that had somehow become normalized over the years. TJ, the man who got drunk with him for the first time on the roof of DADDIES and took all the blame when darryl found them, the man that convinced him to be the Ryan to his Sharpay in bop to the top when they auditioned for mamma mia in high school Terry’s glasses were broken in both lenses somehow, and he was flexing his arm in the way that he had done ever since his elbow had gotten popped out of the socket, oh so many years ago.

Lark’s brother was sat on the stairs, twisting his ring and glaring at his shoelaces, for some reason, as if he wanted to ground them into next month. Lark couldn’t quite say he disagreed with the sentiment. The next time he saw his nephew, ooh boy. No more late night Uncle-Lark-Can’t-Sleep-And-You-Spend-Too-Much-Time-Hyperfixating-On-Random-Shit-So-We’re-Going-To-Get-Ice-Cream trips, that was for sure.

He was snapped out of his stewing by Grant lightly hitting him in the arm.

“What the hell even happened, man?”

Lark dragged a hand across his face. “Nick’s kid broke the glass on the Whale’s tank,” Sparrow and Terry’s heads both snapped to him. Lark winced. “And then I ran in, slipped, fell into the tank, and shattered it.”

Grant’s jaw was practically on the floor. “Holy shit dude, how are you even moving right now?”

Lark smirked. “Dunno, but what I do know is that I’m gonna kill that teenager.”

The walk to the parking lot was silent, none of them wanting to actually admit that they had gotten their asses handed to them by their own kids. Lark pushed the door open into the parking lot, sopping wet, sore, and pissed.

He locked onto the kids and opened his mouth, about to relish in the rare gift that was yelling obscenities and Sparrow not scolding him for it. However, his joy and anger vanished quickly and his mouth closed with an audible click.

From behind him, Lark vaguely heard Grant’s gun drop onto the pavement in surprise and Sparrow gasp out a “holy shit”. Then Terry let out an anguished sob and Lark thought that that about summed it up.

their captor, the mean one, the head purple robe, the one who forgot to feed them, the one that tried to kill their dads, the one that tried to kill “spare-ow” because having two backups was unnecessary, the one that gave him his first scar that even henry didn’t know about, ron’s deadbeat dad that tried to kill his own son, the one who killed a man in front of his nephew, the one manipulating terry’s daughter

Willy.

Willy Stampler was holding the headless body of the very sixteen-year-old that Lark had been planning to yell at until he was blue in the face. Like watching a train crash, he followed the trail of blood to Taylor Swift’s head at the feet of Scary Marlowe, who was gripping a net so tight that her knuckles were white. Her jeans were splattered with blood. She looked horrified, and mere seconds away from sobbing.

Normally Swallows-Oak-Garcia normie, norm, his nephew, his star, his kiddo, his ice cream partner, Teeny the Teen was shrieking nonsensically on the ground, his knees appearing to have given out entirely, and he pulled at his hair as tears streamed down his face.

Lincoln Li-Wilson link, his godson, the kid who he’d watched take his first steps, the kid who’d somehow gotten taller than him in the years that he’d been banned from the Li-Wilson household, in all of his six-foot-three glory, was glaring at Willy with an intensity that could’ve killed a man.

Lark wondered why he hadn’t jumped at the man already, and then saw the cause. He was supporting the small DC-obsessed kid, the one that had spent two months monologuing himself into identity crisis after identity crisis and also apparently had a crush on his nephew? who was leaning his entire body weight on the taller kid, face blank except for a few stray tears working their way down.

Willy looked bored. Taylor’s body thumped on the ground as he checked his watch. “Ugh. I really thought that this would be faster, huh kiddo? Guess some parents just don’t care.”

Scary Marlowe teresa, terry the third, terry jr jr, the emo one, mini-him, edgelord supreme, the one he somehow knew the least even though they had sat at the same table at the wedding squeaked.

Her fingers flew free from their fisted prisons and Lark could see both the indent of the netting and the bloody crescents from her nails etched into her palms.

The net dropped heavily onto Taylor’s head (Lark choked back the bile rising in his throat) and his stupid pork-pie hat tipped off and onto Scary’s shoes.

Normal had stopped shrieking and was full-on sobbing into the ground. And then Row, his better side, his beautiful half, his twin, his six-minutes-older brother, the man that had saved his life time over time, the man that had taken him in without a second thought when he realized that Lark was sleeping on the streets, Sparrow Oak-Garcia stepped forward. His foot caught on a loose piece of gravel and it skittered across the blacktop, catching the attention of everyone.

Lark managed to drag his eyes away from the decapitated child in front of him and lock them onto Sparrow as he addressed the children with what he hoped would be their saving grace.

“Would this be a bad time to say I told you so?”

[stephsycamore]

Hello friends. Yet another post on a topic literally no one here signed up for but the blog is about my hyperfixation of the month so here we are

I have been reading dramione. I know in my last post i said i was ki da over dramione after a couple of fics because i find the pairing too toxic but i only kinda lied because i have just reread the like 4 dramione fics i found and liked and now i will review them. Technically i have read/started more than 4 but i won't be commenting on fics i didn't like because that isn't fair to the writers.

The first one was manacled. Which i know what a fucking reintroduction to the fandom. But i am no young newbie. I used to read and rewrite A LOT of harry potter fic and while its still fuck jk rowling, she doesn't financially benefit from fic and i heard years ago that she doesn't like fic so. I hope its all a big fuck u to her.

Anyway, manacled. Wow!!! What the fuck???? It has lived rent free in my head ever since. I literally cannot stop thinking about it. If ever i reentered the harry potter fic world let it be known that it would be so i can write fanfic of this fanfic. A couple points - manacled is kinda overly long and would benefit from an editor/beta reader, but I heard senlinyu wrote it on her phone while nursing a baby and just???? Idk what her day job is, but that woman needs to be doing creative writing mfas, writers workshops, residencies, whatever. That is extraordinary creative talent.

I think the first part with hermione in the manor was a bit overly long and too torture porn ish. A lot of the scenes bordered into the unnecessarily gratituous. But overall, it was well plotted, well written, and gut wrenching. The last section takes my breath away

The second fic i read was Remain Nameless. And while i kinda don't love smut (it makes me a little uncomfy) i think remain nameless is a perfrct example of fanfic as a genre. Within fic, there are obviously genres, but there are stylistic elements and things that I think makes fanfiction a genre in itself. Remain Nameless is an exploration of character that goes beyond the confines of conventional or traditionally publish-able story structure. It is too long, too drawn out, too indulgent to be a traditionally published story. If i swap out the names and details in Manacled or Draco Malfoy and the Mortifying Ordeal of Being in love (up next) out, its a probably close to a stand alone novel, but Remain Nameless relies on you knowing and already caring about Draco and Hermione. I don't mean that disparagingly at all, I just think sometimes people don't realize that fanfic should be different from traditionally published novels and that is a benefit of the genre. I think Remain Nameless is great. Its an indulgent, fluffy read that takes two broken people and slowly puts them back together again. Its like a hug in book format.

My next one is DMATMOOBIL!! I loved this one. And the author??? You cannot convince me that this fic was not written by someone with literal years of publishing experience in contemporary romance. No way. Its too good. Not just in a good writing way. Manacled is good in an unfiltered, raw talent way, but DMATMOOBIL is polished. The plot is perfectly structured and then each chapter within that is perfectly structured. I loved it. It wad witty, funny, heartfelt, and exciting. Not sure what more I can say about it. It reads like published fiction both in its polish and readability, and I think of all the fics I read has the best worldbuilding. It is truly exciting to read about the possibilities of magical and muggle science colliding in this book and bringing their world to the 21st century.

The last fic i read was Green Light by SereneMusafir. I thought it was so good but would benefit from being split into two maybe even three books. Green Light features a journalist coming to interview Draco many years after the events of the book, so that kinda complicates splitting it up, but as it stands, the story parts are too vast and thematically disparate to be one book. The first part has Draco and Hermione on an expedition in the desert to find a archeological myth and the writing is extraoridinary. Its poetic and cinematic. But I think at times it all tries to do too much. Like I said, the whole thing needs to be split up but each chapter also needs to be a bit shorter. Again, I don't mean cutting content, but rather restructuring. As it is, I read an incredible scene, but then there's like 5 more scenes of something else, and by the time I'm at the end of the chapter, I've kinda forgotten what amazing prose I read earlier on. Things get lost in this way. Beautiful passages buried.

I think two or three books would also allow each thematic section to be explored better. Idk i thought about this one a lot. I likely will not reread Green Light the way I have reread the others on this list, but other than Manacled, it is the one I think about most. Its the most ambitious plot wise and it kinda got lost in that ambition but I think it has so much potential and was over all very good.

Anyway. That is the end to this book review no one asked for. I will likely not be reading more dramione. So here ends that brief of excellent phase.

[justanotherbuggysimp]

Jackie is so special to me, like as a ND person with depression and anxiety and PTSD, so many characters just come and go according to what my mental health and hyperfixations demand at that time in my life and yeah I appreciate those characters that meant the world to me for like 2 weeks but I get over it, and then there's Jaskier, whom I have loved since the second I saw him in a tavern three years ago and have loved him that much since, l he is my crazy little alcoholic pansexual slut bard and he always will be, other fandoms and characters come and go but he will always have a place in my heart and that will never change and I just love him for that so much

[alpydk]

Get chaos send back from the demon 😉

Questions for the asking game:

1 , 2, 4, 5, 16, 19, 22, 25, 35

*flexes hands* - You know I love doing this.

at least two things about you, that may surprise your followers

I'm pretty fucking open about everything. Is there anything people don't know about me? Like you all know about my life and mental health and gaming etc...

I don't like coffee. Gives me back ache. Will have a nice cuppa tea instead. ummm.... I hate swimming, water, sailing etc. I almost drowned when I was 6 years old on a school trip and it's put me off since. Ironic that I married a sailor, love Gale/Chase, and include a lot of water references into my writing (subconscious stuff???)

2. Something you recently discovered for yourself and really enjoying it since than

Scrapbooking my comments and such. Like cutting them all out and sticking and doodling around them is just so nice and relaxing to do. I used to journal a lot but then just funnelled it all into fanfic instead so I guess it's kind of linked. My partner said I should write spanking. We will ignore him.

4. Something/fandom you were hyperfixed as teenager and now hyperfixing again

House. HOUUUUUSSSEEEEEE. Specifically Chase but you all know this by now and why. Honestly, was thinking about this on a walk earlier today and realised my first crush looked like a young version of him. Odd, isn't it?

I mean, just look at him. Could drown in those eyes. Also new show with him and he is bearded and I'm just fucking swooning.

5. Something you like/you have since your childhood/teenager days til now, which resembles a kind of constant in your world

My bear, Nelson. He is 31 years old? Possibly older, I bought him second hand and he's been with me ever since. Only had 12 weeks away during all that time when I was out of the country.

16. Something you like now and hated/never thought you could like when you were younger

Fanfiction surprisingly enough. After the trauma of the hobbit fic (untagged mpreg between Thorin and Bilbo) I believed that's how all fanfictions were. Just unhinged smut fests with everyone fucking and weird fucking plot twists explained through magic and shit. Didn't even cross my mind until Gale that it could be any different. Now, I will say a lot of that stuff still exists, I even read more of it, but I still don't get the appeal. Different strokes for different folks.

19. Something that was taken for granted as teenager, that you really appreciate more now because it got rare

My dad.

How much free time I just had to be me. Like studying is so easy and I excel in that environment but as a teenager I pissed it all away with drinking and skiving in the local park. No qualifications, no friends at the end of it. I wish I had more of that because those days are just gone.

Sorry, that was a horrible question.

22. Something that was easier for your younger self and seems kinda hard now

Travelling, not being anxious. I spoke about this recently on here but my anxiety has gone to shit in the last 10 years. Going from gradually being unable to do long journeys to barely leaving the house and IT SUCKS. I would honestly book a flight at random and go. I went to Berlin on a whim years ago, now I barely travel locally. Younger me was so fucking lucky in that regard and I don't even know what's changed.

Here, have this to break up the angst I'm bringing into these whimsical questions.

25. A weird fact about you that comes in your mind

Resident Evil 5 was tested on the 3ds and because it ran, they made RE: Revelations.

Short and sweet.

35. If you had three wishes, what would you wish for?

Gale to be real and to have a happy life. Even if that's not with me, he just deserves it. (Is that one or two?)

I'd like my mental health fixed instantly! (without death! Got to be clear on these wishes!)

I'd like, just, healing to be easier for people. Too many people carry around trauma and I want to fix it, and make it better and see them smile. It's not fair. Let me fix stuff with hugs!

^actual gif of me hugging someone.

[catacamacat]

OMG your art is so good!!

do you have any tips? painting apps sugestion? I'll take ANYTHING!!!

have a nice day (er... night)

Heyy

Thank you so much! Means a lot <3

(Literally a lot, like… you ask me? Me of all people?)

I’ll try my best, pls keep in mind that i’m not a professional or anything, I’m talking about my personal experiences. I hope I didn’t forget anything

(Edit: IM SO SORRY IT’S SO MUCH, I’ve been yapping for the past one and half an hour since 4AM ToT you don’t have to read everything ofc, I still hope that everything makes some sense 🥲)

I’ll put most of it under a cut :)

Painting apps:

I have always used procreate for my digital drawings, but there are many good cheap/ free alternatives.

Since our school uses IPads to work it installed “Sketchbook” on our devices, and even though you can’t use all of the pens without paying there should be more than enough for free (I’ve never used a digital pencil that has been so comfortable to draw with for example)

But my favorite is and will always be procreate

Time:

I’ve been drawing for a bit more than 6 years, and sometimes I’m still very insecure about most of my drawings, I mean that when I look at them I’m just not happy or I think it’s not good enough…

But I always keep in mind how freaking horrible, like for real horrendously bad my drawings were in 4th grade when I started, and then I’m pretty happy with how far I’ve come ^^

Just know that this feeling will probably always be there, no matter if you’re a beginner or a pro, idk it’s just from my perspective, everyone has their own experience.

Inspiration:

For me one of the most important/ helpful things is inspiration. I personally am often very energetic when it comes to drawing something that plopped up in my head, it just brings the fun, you know?

For me my biggest inspiration so far to draw is TMNT. And I mean it, I don’t just say that because I’m hyperfixated to them. Ever since I’ve discovered the turtles far more than a year ago, drawing has been the most fun thing in the world.

For me the turtles are incredibly fun to draw, there are so many possibilities since there are so many different versions of them, and four of them. I don’t think I could ever grow tired of drawing them, and I think nothing has ever improved my art as much as them since they are so much easier and fun to draw than humans (imo)

There was a time period that last until around three weeks ago where I didn’t really was in the tmnt fandom anymore, idk how that happened but I hope it will never happen again. Anyway, I was trying to draw in anime- style or something like that, and as far as I can remember it was really hard and for me not really fun/ felt forced. The turtles always look how they are supposed to look, but humans… nah —~—

What I want to say is that you should also find something that’s fun for you to draw and that fills you with inspiration and energy.

Quantity:

A tip from me: draw every day

(but include breaks when you need it)

Of course it’s not always possible, but since I heard that tip somewhere on YouTube (also a really good way to improve) a couple of years ago, I was never able to forget it. I mean I didn’t do it of course, but somehow it still helped… in a way…yk?

I mean there are always times where you don’t draw, maybe over weeks and even months during art block or other reasons, but the more often you draw, the better you become at it.

(Btw I personally believe it’s impossible to draw every day, for me at least. But i don’t know, that sentence never left my mind and I think there has to be some reason for it)

People:

It can be really helpful to have people you look up to, especially in the beginning, for example was I a really big fan of Skottie Young (still am) and that guy who drew some of the TMNT idw comics (forgot his name rn), and trying to draw somewhat like them for practice really helped me to get better. It also can be good to have people around you that are artists. Can be

And now something somewhat more complicated:

Be careful about the people you are surrounded with, because according to what kind of person you are, they can really, really make you feel shitty about how you draw, or maybe bring you to a point where you don’t feel joy when drawing at all

Here’s what I mean:

For example take me. I don’t know how many people feel this way, but I’m for some unexplainable reason completely “allergic” to criticism. I know it’s not a good thing, but I also know it’s not really my fault.

Every time I’m drawing something, I just want to have fun with it, and for me it’s the most important thing when I draw. And having people around me all the way that have studied drawing, criticizing my work and telling me what’s wrong, maybe even make fun of it it something I really, really can’t live with. Of course it can be a really good thing to take those criticisms, but for me it was/is just annoying, like REALLY annoying.

For a long time I couldn’t really draw anymore when someone of that people was sitting next to me, and there have been quite a few of them. It completely took the joy of drawing away from me, no one should let that happen to them. (Luckily it’s better now)

Idk if that what I intended to say was said… 🤷‍♀️

One last, the most important thing:

Always have fun with and enjoy drawing <3

Good day/night/or whatever 💜💜💜

[drinkingyourwine]

I’ve had this canvas since I was in my early years of high school. I quickly felt comfortable here and used this platform to write silly love notes and what not… it was innocent and fun at best. This blog has served me throughout the many, many chapters of my life and I’m lucky to have not erased these pictures, memories, or words as I am a chronic deleter of all-things-cherished. In my worst moments I want to go off the rails and pretend nothing of substance ever left my brain or lips. Nothing of my own… traced back to me. Seems like if I’m left with memories or nothing I’d always choose nothing in the end. For the longest time I never felt regret towards these things but lately it has been hitting me a bit hard. I wish I still had certain moments in close proximity but I don’t. All I can try to do is keep moving forward and safekeep the fragments of my life I create and will continue to create.

A couple of weeks ago my partner broke up with me and it left me devastated. In the end, we stayed together and decided to work through things, but it wasn’t easy for me navigate my feelings afterwards. It felt like I was living in between two states — his rejection and desire. To this day I’m grateful for him but to know something so precious can be so easily lost was and is a reality check for me. I mean no shit everything and everyone can easily be taken from you but this felt different for me. My last relationship was 4 years of toxicity and domestic violence and it easy to walk away in the sense that deep down I didn’t want him in my life and didn’t love him anymore. Before that relationship, I was with a man who lived overseas and traveling from here to Portugal was emotionally exhausting, it made sense that he called it off. It wasn’t financially or mentally feasible for either of us and the distance only highlighted our differences. My point is that I hadn’t risked losing someone that I deeply loved and who deeply loved me back in what felt like a long time.

I told him I wouldn’t drink alcohol as it only caused turmoil in our relationship and was part of the reason he broke up with me. He said something along the lines of “maybe we can just have a bottle of wine together every now and then?” In the moment I nodded and smiled without showing my teeth but honestly I felt so much shame for saying yes because I didn’t know if I was strong enough to even handle that limitation. It’s been almost three weeks since then and we have drank one bottle of wine together and there was a reoccurring voice in my head telling me to not slip up and cause a fight for no reason. Luckily nothing like that happened. But now that I’m not drinking like I normally do (beer and liquor that is) I have been hyperfixating on my insecurities. I literally gotta breathe and tell myself SAFETY AND FREEDOM over and over again. I can’t be on instagram that much because I just find myself comparing my body and features to other women, friends/foes/acquaintances/former classmates/porn stars/pictures of women that my boyfriend has liked. It’s just fucked and not okay and I don’t wanna live like that. I’ve come a long way in terms of loving myself and every nuanced part of my physical fabric.

I don’t blame my boyfriend for initially ending things because he’s the warmest person. He’s one of my favorite people that I’ve encountered and I’ve encountered a lot of people… I was cruel to him under the influence, blurring the lines between what’s true and just a flat out lie.

Ready for new beginnings. Ready to love myself enough to be better and stronger than my ego.

[ohnoitsjetster]

jesse!!! hi!! i have one very important question for you: ARE‼️YOU 🫵🏼 DAN🧍‍♂️REYNOLDS🎤⁉️

(okay now for my real question, what’s your fav hatchetfield installment?? it could be a musical or nightmare time ep or even workin’ boys if you’ve seen it :] i’m curious!! oh also if you want you can tell me about orin, i’m vaguely familiar with lsoh but it’s been a while!! so yea, free pass to talk about your lil gay sadist of a dentist <3 this was just an excuse to give you an ask so yk you can really just talk about whatever)

SOL! Hi hi hi hi !! (Sorry for the late response)

OHOHO! A dual fandom ask !! This means another long rambling post for my four most dedicated followers to read!!!! Im sorry in advance!!! this will probably be boring to everyone but me!!!!

I think my favorite might be NPMD. That one changed my brain chemistry for sure. But so did TGWDLM, I really believe that watching Show Stopping Number at the tender age of, like 11… well it just explains a lot about how i turned out ([obligatory “fuck Robert manion”]). I also frequently shake Time Bastard, Killer Track, and Abstinence Camp around in my teeth like a dog like HAUUFHGIGJHJGKKGKFGKRGJ RFRRRGJGG RRHHRHHRHH HREHHEGEGHGRGHRHHHHFFNFHFGGHF like that. But yeah at the present moment I'm being insane about NPMD. The songs are all bangers (Yes all of them) and I am in love with every character (Yes every character). High School is Killing Me is kind of my anthem right now. For no. Particular reason. Also, your honor those three nerds are all literally me and also i am in love with them and also im that fucked up dead bully but in a totally normal way.

So. Speaking of fucked up dead bullies… ‘,:]

Orin Scrivello, DDS <3 my beautiful bbg who has never done anything wrong in his life except for literally everything he did. Worst guy ever. But hey, you can’t choose who you rotate around in your brain, or how many Pinterest boards you make about it. Another instance of “he’s literally me but obviously not actually at all but I think he’s silly so that’s basically the same thing.” A tale as old as time. I don’t know how many queer awakenings one person can have but I was definitely already trans and bi when I saw Orin for the first(?*) time last year, and now, well now im the same but im more pretentious about it and I own a leather jacket. (*I actually saw LSOH a long time ago when i was way younger, but I didn’t remember it almost at all and I’d thought “The Dentist” was like this mad scientist type character, which, not exactly wrong ig, so anyway he’s been swimmin around in my brain making me silly for who knows how long, but yeah probably just since last year). I swear to cope with hyperfixating on such a fucked up character I’ve literally been making au’s in my brain where he’s morally ambiguous, or gets a redemption arc (he does not fucking deserve a redemption arc he deserves to be chopped up and fed to a bitchy gay plant), or where he’s literally just a nice guy. Yeah I’ll sometimes just remove the character from this character to appease the brain demons. But the cool thing about the Not an Asshole™️ AUs is that, in the og, the whole story basically goes south when Seymour justifies killing to feed the plant cause he can kill that jerk Orin, so if he’s not a jerk maybe they all survive?? Idk i just like thinkin. Also… ALSO!.. I made a post a while ago that I might someday make Orin textpost memes using pictures from my actual stage production, and well, that day has come! or, will come, soon. I’ve made the pictures I just have to make the post. It was very fun Im excited to share em. Okay thats all TYSM for the ask bestie!!!

Oh and to address your first question…

I 🧑🏻 AM 💥 DAN🧍‍♂️REYNOLDS 🎤 ✅

[buggbuzz]

my shit is still shadowbanned UUUGHGHGH 

anyways i just remembered i can use this blog for stuff other than art, so. y’all gonna see my bio nerd shit now!! 

fun fact about buggie, she REALLY loves systemizing, she REALLY loves evolution, and she REALLY loves animals

and i discovered this note program called obsidian like two days ago and i haven’t hyperfixated this hard on anything since i last played spore like three years ago

first i made a basic map of animal evolution up to most of the phyla, and then i made a really really thorough filing system of those phyla and then a few of their subgroups, and i was doing this all purely just for fun and then i realized “wait, this is so much more efficient than my beloved paper notes filing system, if i set up a base system i could take all my notes on here and have them both readily accessible and highly integrated into my other notes and vocabulary, which is SO much better than the extremely basic filing system i had for diagrams in my computer files". so now i’m kinda going crazy getting all this info in in time for my test on monday lmao.

also this way whenever i learn about a new animal i can file it into here and never ever forget about it!! i’ve forgotten way too many interesting animals cause i had nowhere good to store the information.

[alpaca-clouds]

Achaia

I really thought my hyperfixating brain would let me get away with just writing three long fics for BG3. But oh, my brain already prooved me so wrong with coming up with Bound by Blood and Praise Loviatar.

Now, however, it also wants me to come up with a plot for yet another one. Because it jjust turns out that everyone included we now have a total of three different plothooks that would get people into hell.

Wyll (in my playthrough) still has his contract - that should be taken care off some way, so he won't end up as a Lemure.

Karlach does have a somewhat working machine right now, but she needs a permanent solution. Which she probably can only acquire in the hells.

Tav's former partner got kidnapped into the hells eight years ago and was not seen since. Tav really wants to safe him, because he feels guilty about it.

Big question right now is, how the fuck to merge all that into one coherent plot. And then I will start crying, because I already know how many fucking characters this will involve.

Still, something that I am looking forward to, is writing Achaia, a devil OC I have come up with. She is one of the daughters of Belial, making her a duchess of hell. And she is going be... quite complicated as a character. Also she is smoll bratty kind of demon xD