#I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
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"dont leave me here like this." - r. sukuna
nsfw, minors DNI!!!!!! not really valentines cause this is the heian era but wtv, true form sukuna(i wanna bite his arms), reader watches sukuna jerk off, dry humping, handjob, oral (f!receiving) , "just the tip", ZERO protection #rawdoggingit, breeding kink, reader is sukuna's personal maid, also fem reader lol, sukuna calls reader "pet"
requests are open!! pls request i have no imagination
ryomen sukuna is a ruthless king. a ruthless king who just so happens to love bubble baths.
you'd know, you often prepare them for him. as his personal maid, you know things about the king that others don't. like how he sounds when he's pleasuring himself. like how he likes his baths.
today was a particularly grueling day of murdering mortals. sukuna walks into his chambers, seeing you there, cleaning his floors. "run me a bath, pet." he says gruffly.
you quickly stand up, bowing. "of course, my king." you rush into his bathroom to run the bath. you add the bubbles and oils like always.
once the bath is ready, you call out for sukuna. "it's ready, my king!" he stands at seven feet tall, towering over you as he walks into the bathroom.
he strips himself of his clothing, not caring that you can see his gigantic cocks. yes, cocks. there's two of them. another thing many people don't know.
"go now, pet." he grumbles. you scurry out of the bathroom.
after almost an hour, you go to check on sukuna. you peek your head through the door and quickly pull back, looking through the crack in the door instead.
ryomen sukuna is laying in the bath, head tilted back, brows furrowed, and moaning. yes, moaning. one of his hands is stroking his upper cock, his three others just doing whatever.
you'd imagined him to just grunt and maybe groan. but moan? no.. you didn't think he was this vocal.
you can hear him murmuring, "mmph.. good little pet. shut up 'nd take it."
oh god. pet? that's what he calls you! you've never heard him call anyone else pet! is he.. thinking about you?
a voice snaps you out of your thoughts. "you just gonna stand there and watch?" it's sukuna. he saw you. he fucking saw you watching him stroking his thick cock.
you quickly take a step back, he scoffs, "dont leave me here like this, pet."
the water splashes all over you as you move your hips against sukuna. you hadn't even taken your undergarments off by the time he pulled you into the bath with him. he'd kissed you roughly, his hand around your throat with an almost bruising force.
then he guided your hips to position your cunt right over his lower cock. the thin barrier of your panties is practically nothing, the water has made it like a piece of wet paper.
his dick ruts up against you, threatening to enter your little hole. his forehead is pressed against yours, panting against your lips.
it's quite a sight, the king of curses underneath you, moaning like a virgin.
you reach your hand down to stroke his upper cock. your fingers wrap around the base, his upper cock is slightly longer, but the lower is more girthy. you roll your hips in a circle.
"fuck," he stops your hips. he lifts you up and carries you all the way to his bed, not caring that you're both soaking wet. "'m not cumming 'til i have a taste of this pussy."
he practically rips your underwear off, his eyes darkening at the sight of your cunt. he groans, lifting his gaze to your face. he watches your face contort with pleasure as he licks a stripe up your folds with his thick tongue.
his first pair of hands holds your legs open, and his second pair spreads your cunt open. he leans in and begins to devour you.
he's sloppy and messy and has zero technique, but that's what makes it good, surprisingly. his eagerness manages to turn you on even more, and you're surprised you haven't came already.
his mouth moves up to your clit, sucking eagerly as one finger pushes into your hole. his finger is almost the length of an average cock. your legs kick, but his hands hold you down.
he slips a second finger in, your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling at his scalp. he doesn't mind, he barely feels it. he's focused on getting you to cum on his tongue
he wants to tell you how good you are, how fucking delicious you taste, but the dirty talk slips his mind, he's too focused on the noises you're making and getting you to finish on his fingers.
it doesn't take much longer, in minutes your creamy cum is coating his fingers. he keeps them inside of you while his sucks of your clit become gentler, letting you come back down from your high.
after another minute, he pulls his fingers out and sucks them clean. then, he sits up, hovering over you.
he can see your nervousness as you look down at his cocks, he's not going to use both of them, he's not an idiot. you're a mere human, there's no way you'd be able to take both.
he leans down and does something that he doesn't even register until after he does it. he kisses your forehead. "just trust me, pet, i won't hurt you." he presses a kiss to your neck. "unless you ask me to.."
you nod, your voice stuck in your throat. you're severely out of breath from how hard you just came.
"just the tip for now, okay?" you nod again, all that comes out is a "mhm" he takes this as consent and guides his upper cock to your entrance.
even being stretched with two fingers, his cock is still a bit big for you. so he eases in, he knows that it'll hurt if he hits your cervix, so he's just going to use a few inches, five at most.
he slowly, very slowly, pushes into you. a sharp gasp escapes your lips and your nails dig into his back. two hands reach up to hold the back of your head, the other two hold your waist.
he pushes in, inch by agonizing inch. until about four inches in inside of you.
he waits, and waits, and waits. waits for that little nod, that greenlight 'go'.
when it comes, he's ruthless. his cock moves in and out of you with brutal force. he pulls almost all the way out, and pushes in those same four inches. he has to remind himself not to go deep. that he promised not to hurt you.
but fuck, your pussy is heavenly. he could die here, and be okay with it. if he was forced to stay in your cunt for eternity, it would be no problem.
he's going to marry you, he will. you'll carry his heir, and stay in his bed to be bred.
he thinks you'll like that life, being nurtured and nicely fucked.
"'kuna?" you murmur, he looks down at you, grunting. "what, pet?"
he hadn't realized that he said all of his dirty thoughts out loud. that he quite literally just told you to marry him.
"you want to.. marry me?" you moan, fuck, he can't even deny it. he buries his face in your neck, kissing and nipping. "mhm, pet. i'm gonna breed this pretty pussy, get you pregnant so you can't leave me.." he feels your hips roll at that.
"fuck, you want me to get you pregnant? make you mine?" he bites your neck, nearly drawing blood. you nod quickly, "mhm! get me pregnant, 'kuna!"
he groans, feeling his cock twitch. he's about to cum.
"you want it inside?" he asks gruffly, you nod again.
his hips slow as he empties his seed inside of you, overfilling your cunt with his cum.
he wipes you with a wet rag, lazily pushing his cum further into you with his fingers. your head lolls back against his chest, his arm hooks around you protectively.
"you okay, pet?" his quite question is met with a slow nod and hum.
"'m fine, just.. sleepy." he scratches your scalp. "then sleep, i will be here when you wake." you nod again, letting your eyes flutter shut.
he'll have to find a new personal maid after this. you won't be lifting another finger.
wrote this with one hand ngl
taglist , masterlist
taglist : @momoewn
#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen#sukuna#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#jujustu kaisen#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk smut#sukuna smut#smut#fluff#runawaybridee
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Cockwarming w/ Squid Game 2 Men (500 Followers Special)
warning: smut, obviously | not proofread | lowercase intended | cockwarming | sub/dom! reader (depending on the character) | mommy kink | degradation | praise | these are my headcanons + interpretations of these characters, please be respectful even if my opinions on the characters differ from your own
characters: nam-gyu (player 124), thanos/choi su-bong (player 230), park min-su (player 125)
(red = sub!reader | blue = dom!reader)
A/N: HOLY MOLY!! thank you all so much for 500! i truly cannot fathom all the support and i am eternally grateful. i figured i should do something special to celebrate this milestone, so here you go! many fans will be pleased to see i am writing for several beloved squid game men from the second season! i hope you all enjoy, as always. and again thank you all SOOO MUCH!!!
MDNI! 18+ content beneath the cut, readerâs discretion is advised
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†nam-gyu (player 124)
â if you thought youâd have any sort of say in moving while you cockwarm nam-gyuâ think again. heâll hold you in place himself if he senses you getting impatient, but he knows youâre not stupid enough to try to pull a fast one and start moving anyway.
â heâll pretend that you have absolutely no effect on him like this. like it isnât killing him just as much to keep you from bouncing on his dick the way you know he likes. itâs all apart of the process with him though, being mean and restraining any possible movement. oh and you can bet he will 100% be poking fun at how pathetic you look.
â âsuch a predictable little slut,â he scoffs, his grip on your thighs tighter than usual. âi know itâs killing you that you canât fuck yourself on my dick, isnât that right?â you nodded rapidly, earning a somewhat sadistic laugh from nam-gyu. he loved having you at his mercy like this
â heâll be extra mean from time to time and move just an inch, playing it off as adjusting his seating. but you know damn well that itâs his own twisted way of trying to get under your skin, and oh god did it ever work.
âââââââââââââ
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†thanos/choi su-bong (player 230)
â thanos suggested it at first, he saw it as a fun new way to tease you. little did he know, the tables would be completely turned
â he wasnât expecting to be the one in agony. he wasnât anticipating that he would be the one to be begging for any semblance of friction as you sat motionless on his dick. you clenched down at his little whines and whimpers, but you remained calmâ unrelenting in your stillness.
â âplease baby, iâll do anything⊠just move please, fuck.â his pleading was almost pathetic, youâd not seen him in such a position before. his cocky, obnoxious demeanour was thrown to the wind the moment control was ripped from his grasp.
â you donât know what came over you, but suddenly you felt smug enough to tease him. i mean, if he could dish it outâ he should certainly be able to take it. âoh? is this not going how you pictured? how sad.â you pretended the noise that was drawn from his throat didnât damn near make you reconsider this yourself, his hands quickly finding their place on your hips. âseñorita, please just fuck me.â
âââââââââââââ
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†park min-su (player 125)
â you almost felt bad. almost. in all fairness how could you not? the way min-su was squirming under you, searching for some sort of satisfaction all while you held him down as still as you could. the tragic little whimpers he would make could have almost changed your mind into giving him the release he so clearly craved. he was gripping onto you, and you could feel him tremble.
â âitâs okay.â you assured him, brushing his bangs out of his face as he looked up at you with those trademark puppy dog eyes of his. âyouâre doing so good for me.â you could feel his hands squeeze down on your thighs at the praise, a strained exhale leaving his lips. you had to admit, there wasnât a hotter sight than thisâ seeing min-su melt in your hands like this.
â ângh, mommy.. i c-canât do this fâ much longer..â his speech was slurred beyond comprehension from the pleasure, you could feel his cock twitch inside you; desperate for any sort of leverage. âoh but you can,â you cupped his cheek, bringing him in for a kiss. as you leaned into it, you could tell even this slight shift in position was driving him up the wallâ as if the way he was now moaning into your mouth wasnât a telltale sign of his anguish.
â if you want to continue to drive him mad, whisper little praises in his ear.
âthatâs right, youâre doing so well for mommy.â
âfuck, you feel so good⊠i could stay on you forever.â
âyouâre doing such a good job for me, sweet boy.â
âââââââââââââ
oh em GEEEEEE!!! thank you all a million bajillion times over for 500 followers! iâve been having a bit of a hard time feeling confident in my writing lately, but itâs honestly so relieving to see how many people await my works đ©” iâm so eternally thankful for all of your support and each of your comments continue to make me smile :â) i promise iâll keep working hard to contribute my best to this fandom, and of course THANK YOU GUYS FOR GIVING ME AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE MY PASSION FOR A SHOW I ADORE
as always, any advice/constructive criticism on how to improve my writing is appreciated and requested :) have a spectacular day/night lovelies đđđ
tags: @gongyoosgf @strangelife122 @kouzih @agorsnotworld @kvstjwonnie @pink-apples001 @fiicalapsiholoaga @luvlyfandoms @gabbystinks
#squid game 2#squid game smut#squid game#fanfiction#squid game x reader#x reader smut#x reader fanfiction#player 230#imagines#thanos x reader#nam gyu x reader#player 124 x reader#player 125#min su squid game#min su x reader
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The Beach: Ra
Jaune: Okay... wow she was seriously repressed... She really needed that...
Jaune: That was intense...
Jaune: I hope the scratch makes have healed...
Jaune: Hmmm...?
Jaune: Well, my aura's at full, so it should have been healed by now.
Jaune: Okay...
Jaune: I wonder if that video came out alright...
Jaune: Okay... Let's get going.
Jaune: Hmm... This side of the beach is pretty empty. I wonder why?
: It's because of all of the rocks, the tend to keep people away.
Jaune: The rocks? Well there's a lot of rocks, but why is the people staying away because of the rocks?
: People want to lie down on their beach towel, and suntan. Do you think people want to lie down on a hard jagged rock, instead of soft smooth sand?
Jaune: Hmm... That's a fair point... Wait. That voice sounds feminine? That's not the sound of my inner monologue! Who is speaking to me?!
: I'm over here~!
Jaune: Ah-ha! There you... are...?!
: Hello, Jaune~!
Jaune: H-Hi, Mrs. Branwen...
Raven: Didn't I tell you, Jaune: Call me, Raven~!
Jaune: Okay... R-Raven...
Raven: That's better~!
Jaune: S-So... Y-You're looking good... very, very good...
Raven: Oh, thank you~!
Jaune: S-So... What brings you over here...?
Raven: Oh, it's quiet. You don't see any screaming kids, whiney brats, dude bros...
Jaune: Those are good reasons...
Raven: And, since no one is coming here, I have this section of the beach all to myself~!
Jaune: Oh... Oh that sounds great, you don't have to deal with anyone's bullshit, because you're all alone.
Raven: Indeed it is. Now then, care to explain those scratch marks on your back?
Jaune: S-Scratch marks... what are you talking about...?
Raven: I can see the marks on your back, Jaune. So, care to explain yourself~?
Jaune: ...
Jaune: Yeah, it's pointless to deny it...
Raven: Well~?
Jaune: Haa... Okay, I slept with, Willow Schnee in the showers back there...
Raven: You fucked, Willow Schnee?!
Jaune: We all so filmed it, because she wanted to send it to, Jacques to show how a real man does it...
Raven: You filmed it, and sent it to, Jacques?! Fuck that's hot~!
Jaune: Yeah, will asked me to live out her kinks, and honestly... she made one hell of a deal. And, well... scratch marks...
Raven: So what were, Willow's kinks?
Jaune: Young man reshaping her guts, cucking, Jacques. Stuff like that.
Raven: Damn, Willow is a nasty girl~! And, I thought I was kinky; I'm into my lover being rough with me; Pulling my hair, calling me his bitch, taking it up the ass, breeding, things like that.
Jaune: Well... Yeah... I've heard that a lot today... seems pretty common...
Raven: I do like to do it in public.
Jaune: P-Public?
Raven: Yeah, in public, some place where I could get caught being railed by some hot young sexy stud~! In a place like this for example...
Jaune: T-This place...?
Raven: Yeah, behind those rocks. I mean, how many people wouldn't like to live out the fantasy of taking a sexy piece of ass behind a boulder at the beach~!
Jaune: At the beach...
Raven: So... what do you say, Jaune? You interested in living out this old gals fantasy~?
Jaune: ...
Jaune: Where's the best place to do this?
Raven: I found a nice place over there~!
Jaune: Okay, let's go!
Raven: Oh, and to warn you, Jaune: I'm a screamer.
Jaune: Oh, well it looks like you may get that audience like you asked for~!
Raven: If they're a sexy girl, can we invite her to join us? I love having threesomes with my wife. Having one at the beach... Oh gods, doesn't that sound so fucking hot~!
Jaune: Why donât you call her over here, she can join us while we're at it~! She'll know where we are based on your screams~!
Raven: FUCK YES~!
///
Here's one for you @lar-mx Enjoy!
Link to Original Post.
#rwby#jaune arc#willow schnee#jacques schnee#raven branwen#jaune x willow#willow x jaune#jaune x raven#raven x jaune#rwby iceknight#rwby canary
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from start to finish, this fic is truly one of a kind. as a community, we fall in love with these characters. it's a natural feeling all of us have had. so we create these love stories to generate some sense of fantasy that we create in our minds. what i love about this â it's the opposite of that. it derives from the same place but it's something entirely different.Â
until now, iâve only read romance driven fics, but this is the first one that iâve read â i think ever â and itâs really made me think of how this truly was a psychological thriller. in the fandom world, itâs never really done and so well at that. the plot holes are meticulously placed in the story in the characterâs involvement, the shady past that doesnât necessarily add up with the timeline and it truly makes you think. itâs thought provoking in a way that makes you feel challenged, where youâre just waiting for the next big thing to happen. it keeps you on the edge of your seat.Â
i'm not sure if i can quite put my finger on it, but there's something entirely unique about it. maybe it's the prose and how deeply it's wound itself into my brain â i quite literally can't think of anything else. this fic has given me brainrot in the best way possible. it's truly so touching how you've clearly poured your heart, soul, and mind into this. there was so many intricate lines woven into this. ones that really have to be tangled with precise thought. because of the intention you've put into it, you really have to think of this intricate web you have thrown together.Â
i'm so deeply obsessed with this entire piece of fiction. youâre so incredible, it blows me away. the pacing throughout this suspenseful piece of fiction is something i will forever appreciate everything you have done for me on this fic. truly, this is such a fantastic story that has a multitude of reasons for whatâs written and its meanings;Â it leaves you with questions that donât really get answered. as if it models after a thriller film, it leaves you wanting more bits of the puzzle, with so many questions up in the air â me personally â iâm dying to know what actually happened but thatâs kind the beauty of it? in life, we donât actually get all the information we need to make a decision. we base our decisions off of the information we have and we donât always have all the information and thatâs kind of the beauty of this story.Â
thereâs a true layer of realism laced into it, pulling at my heart and every string attached to this masterpiece.Â
now, iâm going to go on another level of obsession and go by my favorite parts of this fic because i simply will never be able to stop discussing and analyzing this fic. there is so many bits and pieces i love.Â
âNo judgment here, Abby is always safe with you, but you both made a promise, and she will always keep a promise.â
i canât lie, the first time i read this, i thought to myself â ohâŠfor sureâŠ.reader/oc is the fucking killer because there is no way they arenât. theâŠabby is always safe with you. hm. was she always safe with reader though. i love that there, even in the beginning there is this first seed of doubt thatâs planted in your mind. if you blink, you might miss it. it was this introduction of establishing the dynamic between jerry and oc, and seeing where the relationship with the father of someone she supposedly did care about. from the beginning it toys with this idea of you can love someone but in all the wrong ways and thereâs the sliver of possibility that oc could very well be the antagonist in this story so playing with that element right out of the gate is so brilliant to me.Â
âItâs been years, El.â âI know, but weâll find her, okay? She wouldnât just leave, and she wouldnât leave you. We all know this, you know this.â Her smile reassured you somewhat, but you still had that nerve eating away at you. What if she really was gone?
yesâŠâŠit has been yearsâŠâŠso why are yâall looking for her nowâŠ..
honest to god, the number one though i was having, especially as i got deeper into all of the lore you provided with this fic, i kept thinking to myself, what the fuck happened in the years abby was gone? why now is there this sense of urgency to located abby and find out where sheâs been all this time. it really provokes the question of where do ellie and reader stand morally? because to me, and this is just my opinion (do not crucify me chat), i genuinely believe they operate from this morally grey area.Â
they have to operate from it right? because what is their motive to look for abby now? there has to be one now. something that kicked up this dysfunctional friend group in gear to have them split their decision or light a fire under their ass to find their friend. itâs all very interesting, mysterious, and really does make you think about the reasoning thatâs never explained. ominous, the truth hangs and as an audience your blindfolded to the truth. in the dark so to speak and itâs done so incredibly well.Â
âWhen I look at you, I wait for you to shout and yell at me. Blame me for her going missing, I wait every single time, and it never comes. Thatâs pathetic, right? That I wait for you to blame me for the reason your daughter is missing.â
another question to throw up in the air. this entire reblog is just going to be the thought process behind how i interpreted different things because wow, iâve never used my brain so much reading a fic. reading romance obviously does not take a lot of brain power to do, right? do i still love it? yes, absolutely. truly, this fic is just on a different level that i donât think is quite appreciated. seriously, if you are reading my adhd (trash) thoughts, please i beg of you, read this fic. i cannot express that enough.Â
by the way, in case you didnât know, eren wrote this in fours days and they are a fucking genius.Â
i will say this until my fingers bleed on this keyboard.Â
anyways, just had to throw that out there.Â
back to the analysis. the most interesting part of this section above is the guilt oc feels. because is this oc having survivorâs guilt OR is this because oc feels guilty about something else? an event thatâs not being spoken of. years have passed, right. so, a lot of events could have happened from when abby disappeared to this point in the timeline where they are still mourning her. oc is still expressing guilt, even after ALL THIS TIME HAS PASSED. smells like fish to me.Â
âEllie, you dress like you live in the fuckinâ woods, heâll believe you.â You rolled your eyes, brushed past her, up the stairs, and into her house. âCâmon idiot!â âGod, yes Mother!â
man, this is still getting to me so bad. eren humor is peak in my eyes. to me, it will never be beaten. also, a little bit of a side bar, but the way you have written ellie in this is just peak. from time to time i will see ellie written in this nature where sheâs the domineering type and i truly donât believe thatâs true to her character. itâs fiction, fan-fiction at that so obviously most of the time most of it is written from a self-serving place but i think whatâs really beautiful about your writing is well, itâs never coming from a selfish place. the way you write any character really is so true to canon. if if itâs in an au, it still feels raw and authentic to the original material. and i donât think people realize just how rare that is. truthfully, it really speaks volumes to how much passion and heart you pour into your writing. itâs such a beautiful thing. and no one should take it for granted. itâs really a difficult thing to do and you seem to do it so effortlessly.Â
âI have a good feeling about this date,â Abby admitted softly, unbeknownst to you, holding back her sobs, and smiled even though you couldnât see her. âI think Itâs going to be amazing.â âYeah? How do you know?â âBecause I know you, and you deserve this.â
abby is babygirl. abby is pure. abby is an angel. maybe itâs me being a bit bias but she is the sweetest, the victim, and you cannot convince me otherwise. iâm an absolute whore for things like this in fics. where there are little moments between into untainted pace, one that hasnât been wrecked with. you can see a glimpse into something much sweeter. itâs so sweet it nearly rottens my teeth. like. just viewing abby in this light where she truly just wants the best for you. as the dialogue continues, the love between oc and abby is incredibly tangible and you can feel it. a bond that canât be broken and itâs really just this wonderful thing and itâs so painful knowing that they can never get back to that. abby will forever be changed by everything she went through. she will never be the same abby again and that alone is devastating. iâm not sure if that was intentional, but god, it aches in the most haunting way.Â
but itâs a reflection of real life. anyone that has endured any level of tw ab*se will never be the same after. their minds work, how the live their life after the fact, itâs really jarring in the most realistic way. makes me wanna double over in realization that this abby is already gone in the current timeline.Â
âI met Abby first, actuallyââ âAbby? Why doesnât that name ring a bell?â âOh, uh, Jerry Andersonâs daughter? They own the candy store?â
have yâall clocked the inconsistencies chatâŠ.first mandy says she hardly knew her but when they met she says she doesnât know who she isâŠâŠput your thinking caps on, chat. god, i hate this cunt so deeply, itâs not even fucking funny. was actually just waiting for her death the moment she got introduced. i clocked the bad ideas chat, they are catastrophic. get this mandy bitch the fuck out of here.Â
A bracelet. Holding it up, you inspected it closely. âWhatâs that?â Jesse spoke up as you noticed there were quite a few charms already missing. Did Abby hide them? Why was there only a few left, and the others were gone? âIs that Abbyâs?â
the symbolism of the bracelet is such a nice little detail that i really have enjoyed. showcasing something so small and how it plays such a big role in the overall arch of how the rest of it plays out is a really cool play.Â
Sunday, 2nd May 2015. I think she hates me. Iâm not sure what I did for her to hate me, but apparently I must have done something. Sunday, 2nd May 2015. She threatened me today. I havenât stopped crying. I donât know why she hates me. Monday, 3rd May 2015. Itâs getting harder and harder to look at her and tell her Iâm fine. Itâs breaking my heart and I canât even talk to her about it.Â
out of the entire fic, this broke me. even as i reread this again, for maybe the twentieth time at this point, abby is just so good. besides jerry, sheâs the only person who feels like a true victim in all of this. and the letters? oof. how could you do this to meâŠâŠwe all know iâm not strong enough for this. seeing her spiral out, something she wrote down because she didnât feel like she could speak it. that is so fucking painful. itâs a parallel to seeing a loved one hurting, in pain, whatever the cause may be and knowing there isnât anything you can do to make it stop for them. thatâs another breed to another level. what do you mean sheâs staying silent so she doesnât break ocâs heart. as always, abby is too good for this world.Â
âOh yeah? The fuck you gonna do? Shove this bottle down my throat? Your threats are empty and pointless, like your search for your little fuckinâ girlfriendââ âSay one more thing about her, I dare you.â
âŠ.is oc a littleâŠâŠ.violentÂ
hm, much to think about.Â
Tuesday, 4th May 2015 I can feel her. Sheâs everywhere. Sheâs told me to back off, but what do I say when she notices Iâm pulling away? I canât even smile at her without it being a problem. What if she kills me? Sheâs crazy, I donât think anyone understands. I tried to keep her away, but sheâs clawing her way into everything and tearing things apart. At night, I can see her outside the window, looking at me, smiling at me, looking at me like she wants to kill me. Who do I tell? Who can I go to without making it a big issue? Is she really capable of killing me? Making me disappear?Â
i fear none of yâall get this like i do. the thriller continues to seep out the deeper the fic gets, the suspense, the good anxiety that has you on the edge of the seat just waiting for more bits of the truth to be revealed. i seriously cannot praise this fic enough. honestly. the letters are a really nice touch, personally something iâm a bit of a whore for. little tokens of the past, yeah, i canât express it enough how much i love it.Â
Just as you sat down at her table, a sudden loud banging had you flinching in your seat. You looked over at Mandy who halted in her steps not even 5 minutes later when she reappeared from the kitchen and from where you were sitting you could see and hear her grinding her teeth together. âWhat was that?â âThe neighbors are probably decorating again, Itâs starting to get on my nerves If Iâm being honest.â
I HATE THIS CUNT SO BAD. literally, she is the biggest cunt ever. mandy, when i fucking catch you. stop holding my girl and RELEASE HER. YOU HAVE TAKEN THIS TOO FAR YOU FUCKING CUNTBUCKET. yes, anyways, i fucking hate her with my entire heart and wish nothing but evil things upon her. how could you do this to pookieâŠâŠsmh
âSânot your job to protect everyone,â Mandy smiled softly, watching you closely. âYou know that right? You canât save everyone, especially if they canât even save themselves.â Her fingers graze yours on the top of the table, you werenât even sure how or when she moved hers but when you felt them against yours, your eyes locked with hers. âMaybe Abby left because there are better things out there for her, or maybe she just wanted to see something new.â
oh, mandy pisses me off so fucking badly. the way sheâs so delusional but to be so real i can relate a little bit to that. but fr, the way mandy is trying to convince oc to forget about abby, trying to pretend like she doesnât have abby captive. ohâŠ..girl be so fucking real with yourselves. although, as much as i hate this cunt, you really have written her like a true sociopath trying to grasp at straws.Â
 Even the eerie darkness is something straight out of a nightmare.Â
i love this line so fucking much. itâs perfect. it gave me chills the first time i read it and it still does.Â
âThe Shining.â
ERENNNN EASTER EGGGGGGGGG. hell yeah. thatâs what iâm talking about.Â
Thursday, 6th June 2015Â âAbby, you look beautiful, why are you panicking?â Abby was sitting on the edge of her bed, fumbling with her bracelet yet not looking at you. âHey, Abs, whatâs up?â You crouched in front of her and took her hands into yours with a soft smile. âI donât feel beautiful,â She admitted sadly. âOh, Abby, you are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful, your soul is perfect and stunning. You are the most beautiful person in the world. Your hair is beautiful, your smile is beautiful, your pretty eyes are stunning,â Her sniffle caused you to pause, reach your hand up and wipe it away. âEverything about you is beautiful.â âReally?â Cupping her face between your hands, you press your lips against her forehead and smile. âYes, really, you are so fuckinâ beautiful.â You whispered into her skin. âI promise, love.â How could you not see the pain she was holding back, behind the little glint in her eye?
this entire section is so perfect. oh my goodness. maybe because it's a little dose of fluff underneath all of the unfortunate circumstances. how sweet they are with each other, how wholesome it all feels before trauma and grief could grab ahold of either of them. oc reassuring abby of her beauty. the moment is so tender and sweet. but there is also this underlying sadness within it.Â
You always noticed the way she would blush and look away when you would tell her you love her before you either hung up after being on a phone call with her for hours, or even when you left her house. âI love you.â You murmured, folded the piece of paper and pressed your lips to it.Â
the fluffffff. this is hurting my heart by healing my heart at the same time. But honestly your fluff heals me so much. oc recalling moments spent with abby, god. my heart literally cannot take it. regardless of what happened, itâs clear reader truly loved abby before all of this but it still makes me wonder what brought them to the point of where they had to find abby. Iâve been saying this from nearly the beginning but my mind is still wondering the why of it. you have done such an amazing job on giving just enough information to provoke questions but not enough to fully answer the question. itâs a tight line to balance on and youâve done it perfectly.Â
If it wasnât for the fact you were already looking at Ellie, you would have had a stroke when you heard the loud crashing of her falling off the chair when she noticed Dina making her way towards her.Â
this part made me laugh so bad đđđđđ !!!!!! arguably more than the fucking tree. which if you see below is next on my favorite outtakes ;)Â
In your eyes, you could see the outline of their figure under the moonlight, shimming between trees, jumping over treeâs thatâve been left to fend for themselves over the years, and even though the pain and burn in your legs were starting to ache more and more the longer you ran after them, you couldnât stop. You needed to do this no matter the outcome. âStop running away from me!â You shouted, jumping over the same tree as they did. âI just want to talk! Thatâs all! Stop fuckinâ running!â You huffed. You didnât see the branch hanging in front of you, or the rock on the floor, not until tripped, your face smacked into the branch harshly and landed on the floor with a loud thud. âFuck,â You groaned, cupping your nose quickly with a wince. âFuck!â You yelled, spitting out the dirt.Â
reader is a clumsy bitch. wow. so me. crazy butch bitchâŠ..is that what you had in mindâŠ..i love crazy butch bitch. okay. ray. shut up now. but seriously i love this sm. there is something so human? about this moment? idk if thereâs a better way to say that but. like yeah if i was trying to hunt someone, my tall-ass would head butt a branch like HELLOSOKDKDKD?????? itâs so funny oh my god. peak eren humor me thinks. youâre always funny though so thatâs not a surprise đ€Â
âIf youâre knocked out cold, then no, but I will if you arenât.â âThe tree already knocked her out coldâ Jesse chimed in with a sudden laugh. âBoth of you go fuck yourself!â
all i gotta say is đđđđđđ€©đ€©đ€©đ€©đ€©đ€đ€đ€đ€ #jesseslayedÂ
Pride and Prejudice âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ Mandy âĄÂ âLook at her name,â You murmured, pulling the slip of paper out. âWhos? Mandyâs? âThe way sheâs spelt it.â Once you unfolded the paper, your eyes flickered between the slip between your fingers, and the name in the book, Ellie doing the same, having to lean over you. âWait,â She paused, snatching it from you and taking a look for herself. Ellie looks at her name, and then at the note again; ABBY DESERVED WHAT SHE GOT. âĄ
THE REVEALLLLLLLEKKDKDKDDOJXBEISOS. i loved it so bad. iâve reread this so many times so i apolocheese if iâm commenting in past tense but wow. i love how it was done through a book. and the overall theme of one common denominator unfolding the truth and what really happened. there is something so cool and mysterious about it â the eren way. can i rock mandyâs shit fr. a pain in the ass fucking fr.Â
âIf the right person fucks with my family, yeah,â The smirk you gave her caused Mandy to shift around in her seat comfortably. A sense of terror seeps into the cracks of her skin and travels up her spine. âI wouldnât hesitate to put a bullet between their fuckinâ eyes, unless Ellie gets to it before I do.â âMake it seem like a horror movie.â She giggled.
back to scary!oc i seeâŠ.. :sideeye: but wow. itâs really unsettling to me that mandy, the sociopath is uncomfortable and itâs by readerâs doing. i think it really speaks volumes about oc and the things we donât know about them. thereâs this darker side to oc thatâs foreshadowed in many interactions through this fic and itâs really intriguing. what kind limits do they really have? do they have any? or is it truly a âwhatever it takesâ mentality. all of it is verrrryyyy interesting.Â
also for oc to say i wouldnât hesitate to put a bullet between their their fuckin eyes not to mention also dragging ellie in the statement before. soâŠ.this isnât the first time theyâve done something like this? it also reminds of the little passage in the beginning where reader said ellie and her are a line sheâs not willing to cross. okayâŠ.but what line is being crossed then?Â
AHHHHHHH ITS MAKING ME CRAZZZYYYYY. #youareagenius
On a note, she hadnât realised or seemed to have noticed just how bold and eerie you got when you would bluntly stare. Like Ellie, Mandy never understood what you were thinking about when sitting there, zoning out like a zombie. At some points she expects to start seeing cartoon bubbles with those pictures appearing by the side of your head. âWhatâs the scariest movie youâve seen?â
READER/OC YOU SCARE MENEENRNDNDDJ WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ALL THESE YEARS I NEED TO KNOW.Â
âI was just going to say that Abby owes you two kisses for the black eye you got.â He smiled innocently. âRisked your whole face for her. Props to you.â
ETHEL CAINNNNNNÂ CRUUUSHHHHHH EASTERRRRRR EGGGGGGGGG. RAHHHHHHHHH. I LOVE YOUR BRAIN. I'M SENDING YOU A MILLION KISSES ASAPRICKY.Â
âYes, Boss.â
#bossslay đ„°đ„°đ„°
The fact sheâs not getting it makes you more angry, angrier than when you found out Abby went missing. âBut, I did this for you? Why canât you see that? Why canât you see I do everything for you?â âI didnât ask you to take my best friend away from me! Iâm asking you to give her back to me!â âSheâs not here! Why would she be here?!â âDo not let her move,â You told them as you slowly took a couple of steps away from her. âIf either of you let her walk out that damn door, mâshooting you both.â With the stare you were giving them, they both knew you werenât kidding. You were scary when you were angry, thatâs not a secret.Â
AGAINNNNNN WOULD READER ACTUALLY SHOOT THEM?????? ARE THEY BEING FR???? IM SCARED OF THEM ACTUALLY. OHMYGGOODDDJDDJJDJDJD.Â
slightly traumatized by how scary they are but thatâs kindaâŠâŠ..
okay let me shut up my mouth right now. but actually, i need a novel about what reader has been up to all these years.Â
âLet me have her, thatâs all I want, please justâ I need Abby, pleaseâ You begged, eyes fluttering closed as you felt the cool metal on your skin. âI just want my Abby back.â âThereâs no Abby left to bring back.â
oof. this hurts because thereâs some level of truth within it. even if abby can be saved, there are parts of her that will never be the same. she will never be the version of abby that reader loved. she never can be. and that truth is a stab to my lovergirl soul. iâll be billing you for my therapy bills đ€Â
The figure curled up in the corner of the room, holding themselves until whatever nightmare theyâre able to get out of. Taking a singular step into the room, you crouch slowly, ignoring the throbbing pain in your hand as you reach it out and gently touch their shoulder. âMânot gonna hurt you,â You reassured just before they flinch at your touch with a pained whimper, head whipping around and tired blue eyes meet yours. The sight causes your breath to hitch and heart to thump loudly in your chest. âAbby?â
ABBBYYYYYYYY BABYGIRLLLLLL WE SAVED YOUUUUU (reader should have found you earlier but they are a bit shadyâŠ..) but abby flinching :((( </33 babygirl has been through so much, hurt sm, nobody went looking for her, she deserves so much better. oc step aside, you donât deserve her, thank u âșïžÂ
âItâs n..not the same,â A sob slipped out and she shook her head. âNot the same,â âWhatâs not the same?â âIf I take it off, youâre g..going to find it disgusting,â âI could never think that of you, Absâ
wow. pain. PAINNNNNNNNNN. but also soft reassurance to someone (abby) who has just endured the most abuse, hasnât seen someone she loves or cares about for years and her first thought is how she is going to be perceived by someone she does love. the last thing she wants is to be so raw and exposed, left for you to see. sheâs fresh off an open wound and god, knowing she is back in a safe space is something she needs to hear. hell, no matter what anyone of us are going through, we all need it so to see that showcased is really beautiful.Â
âI took care of it, she wonât hurt Abby or anyone else again.â Ellies eyes didnât leave Abby as she spoke. âStop, I took care of it, like we promised. We keep each other safe.â She sighed once she noticed your look. âAbby?â
i have not been able to stop thinking about this interaction. dang. WHAT DID ELLIE DO âŠ. I NEED THE LORE âŠ. ugh my brain that craves to know everything is being deprived and i need all the erenussy info on this âŠ. BUT itâs very beautiful the way you have intended it to be. a mystery.Â
One secret revealed, another buried and hidden. Â
and the one liner, perfect as always, ending on a fucking banger. ay dios mio, this is perfection. just as everything you write. thank you for blessing with this masterpiece. an exquisite masterpiece that you put so much love, intention, and talent in creating. i feel so honored i got to be apart of your process as you were in between the stages of creating it. there is nothing i love more than supporting you. one day, you will see how brilliant you are, because you are. so brilliant with that gorgeous brain of yours.Â
i love you, never stop sharing your talent, my sweet bubba âĄ
ââ â â â â â â â â â â â â âSECRETS WILL KILL YOU, KEEP IT HUSH.
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synopsis: what was once the best times of your lives, what happens when the one you loved more than live itself, your best friend; vanishes without a trace and itâs up to you and your friends to figure out what happened? can you save her in time? tags: major angst, talks of character death, reader being oblivious, cursing, nervous and depressed reader, talks of guns, an appearance from said gun near the end, sprinkles of fluff. happy ending, somewhat. thereâs probably a bunch of other stuff iâm missing, but i need this out my face already. wc: 22k .... uhm, look away. an: iâm not sure how i feel about this, but iâve been reading too many psychological books over this past month; send help asap, and had the idea to write a little something of my own, i say little like this isnât sitting at a fat 20k+ words .. donât judge me please or iâll cry. i cried too much writing this because i hated it for so long LMAO. thank you @vifilms for proofreading and supporting this crazy idea, and helping me through it. i love you. anyway, enjoy <3
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Thursday, 28th April 2015.
âyou know you could just tell your date you came down with a cold, sânot like she would notice, girls too obsessed with herself notice anything,â Abby suggested, her round dark green glasses resting on the bridge of her nose.Â
âI canât just lie,â You scoffed, looking up from your phone, and noticing Abby was clad in one of your sweaters, cross-legged and reading yet another recommended book. âBesides, you know me and dates never last, remember the last one? 20 minutes into getting to know her,â
âShe accidentally mentioned her girlfriend, yes, I will never let you live it down.â Abby giggled from beside you and shrugged. âWhatâs the worst that could happen this time? She tells you about the 4 wives she has at home?â
âFunny,â You grumbled and slapped her shoulder playfully. Abby laughed and you felt your heart flutter. You liked it when she laughed, it felt refreshing and beautiful. âIf that happens, I hope youâll be there to rescue me when I call you stressed out.â
Holding her hand over her heart, the blonde nodded with a subtle smirk on her lips. âI solemnly swear I will always rescue you from your failed dates.âÂ
âHey, Honey.âÂ
Jerry. Sweet and kind Jerry Anderson; He still looks young, even though the stubble on his face is more grey than before, the dark bags under his eyes darker, but you can tell the glint is slowly burning out in his eyes. He used to have a spark to him, but now itâs dim, almost vanishing right before you. âHey, Mr Anderson.â You coughed on smoke and cleared your throat.
âCâmon kid, Iâve known you since you were in diapers, and throwing eggs at the neighborâs house, you can call me Jerry.â He laughed, but the smile on his lips didnât reach his eyes. Not like it used to be.
Stubbing out your cigarette on the sidewalk, you chuckled nervously and wiped your hands nervously on your jeans. âYeah, no right, sorry, Jerry, habit, you knowâ you trailed off, looking at him silently, trying to work him out. âAny news?â
âNo, donât think there will be any for a while.â
Abby, your best friend, had made a joke once in her backyard that if you werenât both in a serious relationship before you turned 18, you would both date, settle down, and get married. It was a promise you promised to keep, if anything, you would be right outside her door, asking her to be your girlfriend the second you turned 18.Â
Her 26th birthday is next week.
Abby disappeared just weeks before her 18th, she left your house happy and smiley, secretly hoping you would still be single in the next two weeks. She loved you. Jerry knew how much she adored and loved you. Hearing about the dates you would set yourself up on, broke her heart but you were her best friend, so she should be happy for you right? Never ruin a best friendâs dream and wish, she told herself each time she left you and went home to cry into her pillow while her dad, god bless his soul, sat on the end of her bed, comforted her, and stood by her.
âI miss her you know?â You finally mumbled out, looking away from him. âMore than I did yesterday, and Iâll miss her more tomorrow than I did today.â The crack in your voice was evident, and it broke Jerryâs heart to see and hear you so distraught. His was hurting too, for so many reasons, but the main one was he didnât know where his daughter was and it was slowly killing him.
âI know you do, kid,â His smile was faint, his hand trembling as he took a seat beside you on the sidewalk. âMy girl loved you with all her heart,â His voice wavered and you couldnât even smile at him, you couldnât even promise him anything because how can you? âI know in my heart sheâs still out there, somewhere, Iâve heard the talk, the gossip people are saying, saying that sheâs dead, some days I believe it, some days I donât, but I do know one thing, sheâll come back, to us, to you.â
âHow do you know?â
âBecause sheâs an Anderson, we donât give up,â Jerry laughed and for a second it felt like Abby was still with you, laughing and joking like nothing else in the world mattered. âAnd sheâs your best friend, my girl wouldnât leave you behind. Sheâll come back, and that promise you made each other? When you were younger, stealing my beers and trying to smoke a joint?â He laughed again when your eyes widened and he patted your back lightly. âNo judgment here, Abby is always safe with you, but you both made a promise, and she will always keep a promise.â
âIâll find her, Jerry, I promise.â
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âYouâre slouching like a dog and mâpretty sure youâre droolingâ
Peeling your eyes open slowly, you scowled at the sight of a smirking Ellie looking down at you amused. âFuck off, what do you want?â You huffed, folding your arms over your chest and closing your eyes again.
âSaw Jerry,â Her voice was suddenly softer, and you could just picture the way she was playing with her fingers, not knowing what else to say. âHe lookedââ
âWorse for wear?â
âSomething like that,â Ellie smiled and sat in the empty chair beside you. âI know this is a dumb question, but have you heard or seen anything?â
âYou mean have I seen the girl Iâm in love with walking around? The same girl who suddenly vanished into thin air?â
âDonât be a dick, mâserious.âÂ
âThen no, I havenât seen Abby walking around. Do you think I would be sitting here, drinking a beer at 1pm if Abby was here?â
Ellie, even though she pisses you off and gets under your skin, was helpful with everything. She was always there if you needed someone to talk to, always about if you needed just a little help trying to figure out when and where Abby disappeared too. After the breakup with Dina, Ellie felt herself stuck in a hole, unable to feel that push to get out and get help. You were there for each other, even if Dina did give you a subtle glare or side eye when she saw you together. You and Ellie was a line neither of you would cross. Thatâs always been how it is.Â
âHey guys!â
âOh here we go,â Ellie shrank back in her chair and held back a groan. âDoesnât this girl have other friends? I wouldnât even say we are friendsâÂ
âWho isâ Oh fuck sake.âÂ
âHow are we doing?!â Mandy, someone that Dina had brought into the friend group when Ellie and she were still together, skipped over and smiled at you both. âEllie.â
âAnyway, as I was saying,â She completely blanked her, turned back to you, and smirked. âI think that we, me and you if you get my drift, should go and look for her.â
âSay fuckinâ what now?â You blinked.
âFind whom?âÂ
âAbby, who else do you think?â Your friend snapped.
âOh, the girl who wanted you to abandon our date that one time?â
You can see her lips moving, but you donât know what she or even Ellie are saying; your eyes are locked in on the charm around her bracelet. It wasnât there a few weeks ago, youâd know, sheâs always happy and cheery, flinging her arms about like sheâs just snorted the lemonade instead of drinking it. It looked oddly familiar, but at the same time, you couldnât put your finger on it. âSo what do you think?â Ellieâs voice pulled you from your thoughts, and she looked at you with that infuriating grin.
âAbout?â
âFinding Abbyâ
Ellie canât tell if you want to throttle her or throw something at her with the way youâre staring at her. It used to freak her out when you would go silent and just stare like you suddenly forgot how to function, but lately, sheâs gotten used to it, this is your way of processing something. âEllie, you canât be serious right? We donât even know where she went beforeâ before she just disappeared. How are we going to find her? With what money? Where do we even start? This isnât some crime show we watch on the TV, Ellie, this is real, this is her lifeââ
Her hands came up, grabbed your shoulders, and squeezed tightly with a soft chuckle. âBreath, Nancy Drew, youâre going to give yourself a panic attack. We donât have to suddenly rush off, and get ourselves into trouble, we just have to retrace steps. Abbyâs steps.â
âItâs been years, El.â
âI know, but weâll find her, okay? She wouldnât just leave, and she wouldnât leave you. We all know this, you know this.â Her smile reassured you somewhat, but you still had that nerve eating away at you. What if she really was gone?
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The charm was still gnawing at you. Where could you have pictured it before? You werenât 100% sure you were seeing things right, maybe it was one that you had thought you had seen before but it was your mind playing tricks on you. Maybe it was because you had a hole in your heart, and you were trying to put something there to ease it a little. To make it whole again.Â
So why couldnât you let it go? Why did you have to keep pushing yourself into something that wasnât there? Was it because you needed Abby, and you needed to find her? To restore your thoughts? Or was it because some part of you knew the outcome of whatâs happened, and you were too afraid to say it out loud?Â
âBeen a couple of years since you came in here,â Jerryâs voice rang out from behind you. He sounded tired. He probably hasnât slept properly in years, just like you. So you knew how he was feeling. âYou and Abby would try stealing the candy, but I always knew it was you two. Always sneaking around and causing trouble between yourselves.â
You looked at him over your shoulder, fingers grasping at the picture he hand hung up on the wall of Abby, tightly and smiled painfully. âDid Abby take anything? When youââ
âI would have told you, you know that.â Jerry cut you off, dropping the box in his hands onto the floor, and sighed softly. âIâve been in her room hundreds of times since she, well, since she disappeared and I havenât noticed anything different. I havenât even changed the wallpaper, sâtoo hard to handle.â
âShe wouldnât have left without a reason, Jerry. Abby doesnât just go missing. If she was in trouble, she would have come to me, if anything was wrong, she would have called me, she would have asked for my help.â
âThis is hard for me to talk about.â
âAnd you think Itâs not hard for me?â You scoffed, gripping the picture tighter. âMy best friend goes missing and thereâs not a goddamn thing I can do. Thereâs nothing I can do. It fucking kills me to know that sheâs probably out there, scared and alone, and Iâm here feeling sorry for myself? You know how fucking shitty that makes me feel that I couldnât keep her safe? Sheâs not fucking here and Itâs my fault because I didnât protect her hard enough. I should have walked her home that night, I should have done more.âÂ
For the first time in years, Jerry can see how terrified you are. For a while, youâve been able to keep your emotions and feelings at bay, keep them under control, but as you stand there, looking at him, he can see a younger you. A scared little you. You look small, broken, and terrified as you stand before him. âThis isnât your fault,â He shakes his head and clenches his fist. âThis has never been your fault.â
âWhen I look at you, I wait for you to shout and yell at me. Blame me for her going missing, I wait every single time, and it never comes. Thatâs pathetic, right? That I wait for you to blame me for the reason your daughter is missing.â
His sudden sob catches your attention, and you feel like shit. Youâve never meant to make him upset, youâve always been the one to make people laugh, to make their stomachs hurt over a silly joke you made, but always has everyone laughing and smiling. But youâve made him cry, and you suddenly feel lost again. âMâsorryââ
âIâve never blamed you for this, and I wonât start todayâ
You find Ellie on her porch step that same afternoon after your conversation with Jerry, nursing a glass of water in her hand and her eyebrow raises just slightly when you storm over and stand right in front of her with your arms folded over your chest. âAlright? You look like youâre on the verge of a mental breakdown or murder.â She joked, and your lips quirked up just slightly. âWhatâs up?â
âI want to find Abby.â
Just like that, Ellie placed her glass beside her, almost knocking it over when she leaned back and grinned at you. âNancy Drew, this is going to be something,â She lazily smiled and stood up quickly. âJust donât go telling Joel, he worries enough about me and whatnot,â
âTell him that weâre just going camping, just until we get somewhere with whatever steps we have to retrace around here.â
âCamping?â She scoffed and glared at you.
âEllie, you dress like you live in the fuckinâ woods, heâll believe you.â You rolled your eyes, brushed past her, up the stairs, and into her house. âCâmon idiot!â
âGod, yes Mother!â
When you were younger, you and Abby spent a lot of time at Ellieâs house. Joel always had to refill glasses with lemonade to put more sandwiches on empty plates, and you were always thankful for him, Ellie, and Abby. Always for Abby. The memories of your childhood, your growing up, lingered in certain parts of the house. For a split second, you felt like you were back there as you walked into the living room; you remember how Abby almost cried when she lost a game of Uno, and Ellie teased her nonstop for it. You remember how the blonde would cuddle into your side during random movie nights, especially the horror movies Dina decided to watch, even though she would turn them off most of the time because it got too scary.Â
The picture of the 4 of you still sits on the fireplace and a smile curves on your lips. You still remember the day it was taken, and how cold it was to take such a picture in the snow. If you squint hard enough, you can see the redness forming on Abbyâs nose, and if pictures had audio then you would be able to faintly hear the chattering sound of Ellieâs teeth at how cold it was that night. You werenât sure if Ellie would have gotten rid of all the memories, but you were thankful she didnât. You lost Abby, Jerry lost Abby, but in the end, you all lost her. You all lost a part of yourselves that morning he couldnât find her. A little bit of each of you died when the posters were put up all around Jackson not even a week later. The missing poster still haunts you. No matter what.
âEven in pictures, Abby always wanted to be close to you.â
Joel. Placing the picture back down, you turn around and find him holding logs of wood. His hair was slightly shorter; Ellie probably had enough and took the scissors to it. His eyes still had a small glimmer of hope, but he still looked exhausted. âYeah,â You nodded and fumbled with your hoodie sleeve. âHavenât taken a photo since, feels too weird without her in them. It would also feel like cheating, canât take a picture that sheâs not in, you know?â A faint smile tugged at your lips.
âYouâll all take one together when sheâs back, no doubt about it. Hell, Ellie will probably fill her wall with new pictures of you guys,â Like Jerry, Joelâs smile doesnât reach his eyes and you hold back either a sigh or a cry. âEl misses her too, you know?â He added quietly, like he was scared she would hear you both. âShe might not talk about it, like you, but Iâve heard her crying at night, sometimes it takes me hours to get her to calm down. Poor girl almost sent herself into a panic attack last night because she was crying so much. I wish I knew how to help her, all I ever want is to help her and keep her safe and I donât know how. I feel lost because I canât help her when she needs it.âÂ
âYouâre doing the best you can, Joel.â You wanted to help her too, you wanted to ease and help everyone but even you were lost and confused. âShe knows youâre here, and sheâll come to you when sheâs ready to talk about it. I promise.â
âYeah I knowââ
âJoel? I thought you were out with Tommy?â Ellie appeared finally and looked between you both. âYou guys alright?â She laughed nervously and dropped her jacket on the back of the chair with a shiver. It was slowly getting colder, so more blankets and fires were needed.
âYeah, yeah, was just catching up and stuff, havenât seen Joel or Tommy for a while.âÂ
âIf you didnât cancel on the dinner last week, you would have seen them,â She teased, kissing Joelâs cheek and taking the wood from his hands before walking over to the almost gone-out fire. âOld man misses you, he misses all of you.â
Even Abby, she thinks.Â
âRight, you guys staying for dinner or?â Joel laughed.
âYes, weâre staying,â Ellie looked at you, folding her arms over her chest. âArenât we?â
âYeah, missed your cooking.â You grinned playfully at him.Â
âWeâll be in my room!â
âI know El, Itâs the only place you socialize.â
Pushing open her door, Ellie slumps herself in her desk chair, sighs, and then looks over at you as you slump face-first onto her bed. âRight, operation find Abby, whatâs first?â
âWell, we all saw her that night, surely someone knows something that we donât,â you mumbled before lifting your head slowly with a grumble. âAbby doesnât just go missing within 24 hours, El. Not without someone seeing something. Have you seen how many people lurk outside the bar? Lurk around the shops? Someone has to have seen her, or something.â
âSo, we start there. We ask everyone.â
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âCâmon dude, surely you remember seeing her at least once that night?!â Ellie scowled, holding up a photograph of Abby in his face, almost shoving it under his nose with how angry she was getting. Sighing under your breath, you reached your hand up and pulled her arm away.Â
âEl, he doesn't remember, letâs ask someone else. Preferably someone who isnât drunk right now.â
âWeâve been asking people for hoursââ
âItâs not going to happen overnight El, and as much as I want it to, Itâs impossible.â You rubbed at your face and sighed loud enough for her scowl to drop and a frown to appear. âI just want her to be okay, and I know that sheâs scared somewhere, whenever she is, but I need to find her.â
âWeâll find her, weâll look around all day and night if we have to.â
The metal door clangs loudly against the brick wall, sending a slight vibration through the floor, and the feeling of terror sinks in all over again. The room is dark, and cold, not even a blanket could keep you warm if you tried hard enough. The days have been lost, not even sure what year it is anymore, and not even having enough energy to count specks of dirt on the walls have been long forgotten. The energy to keep going was slowly getting lower and lower.Â
The painful squeak of the door opening would cause anyone to lose sleep. âEat your food, donât make me waste more money on this shit if you donât want to eat it. Stop being ungrateful and do what I tell you.â The small plate of food hits the floor, almost going everywhere, and just like that the door slams shut again without another word.Â
How much longer?
âYeah, I saw her.â
Both yours and Ellieâs eyebrows shoot up at his words, and you look at her with a glimmer of hope. âYou did? You saw her?â You asked.Â
âCourse I did,â He nodded, taking a hit from his cigarette and coughing abruptly. âWas getting something from the bakery store, bread or something? She wasnât there for long, but I saw her.â
âWas she with anyone?â
âNah, was by herself, she didnât seem to be in a rush or anything. I was cleaning up the tables outside, and thatâs when I saw her. Then when it came about that she had gone missing the next week, I didnât know what to think. I donât think she went missing, but I suppose I should let the professionals deal with it.â
âProfessionals,â Ellie clicked her tongue on the side of her mouth and laughed. âYeah because theyâre much help.â
âThank you,â You smiled apologetically. âLet us know if you can remember anything else.â
âWill do. Hope you find her.â
 Just as you and Ellie turned around to leave, to ask someone else, that high-pitched voice rang out again. Stopping you both in your tracks. âHi!â Mandy smiled sweetly, looking between you both as she got closer.Â
âGonna take this pencil and shove it right in my fuckinâ eye,â Ellie grumbled under her breath.
âHi, Mandy.â You murmured.
âWhatcha doing?âÂ
âLooking for Abby, didnât we mention this to you yesterday?âÂ
Jabbing Ellie in the rib, you shook your head when she glared at you and slapped on a fake smile. âDid you see Abby at all?â You asked, looking at her closely.Â
Mandy looked between you both again, eyes just widening slightly before she laughed and shrugged. âNo? We werenât close.âÂ
âDonât have to be close to someone to know if you saw them or not.â Ellie pointed out.Â
âI was with my parents, and even if I did see her, I was drinking too much that night to know,â She shrugged again, looking at you with a happy smile. One that for some reason, made you uncomfortable. âSpeaking of which, I have some books I have to give back to my parents.â
âYou remember being drunk that many years ago?âÂ
There it was again, the wave of her hand brushing her hair away from her face when you noticed that same bracelet charm. It was making you irritated because you still canât picture where itâs from, or who made it. But you know that youâve seen it before, that you do know and are aware of. ââIf thereâs anything I can do to help, let me know, okay?â Mandy offered, giving you one final smile before she walked away.Â
âShe pisses me off more and more every day I swear. Remind me why you went on a date with her?â Ellie slipped the pen into her pocket and rubbed her nose harshly. Was she coming down with yet another cold? You thought to yourself.
âMânot sure, she always cornered me when I was alone and kept asking until I said yes, thatâs it.â You shrugged as you both walked. âShe always shows up when weâre talking about Abby, no?âÂ
âI donât think sheâs the kidnapping or killing type, to be honest. Too bubbly and cheerful.â
âSheâs not dead, Ellie.â
Halting in her steps, Ellie turns around and acknowledges her words quickly. âShit, no I know, I didnât mean it like that. This is just stressing me out, weâre still getting nowhere.â
You both take a seat on the chairs outside the bakery, tired and feeling sorry for yourself as you both silently look through the list of names of people you still need to talk to. Wanted to know if anyone had seen her, just something. âThereâs still the lady who owns the wine shop, that creepy guy who owns the other bar,â Ellie mumbled.Â
Brushing your fingers over the paper, you shrink back in the chair with a sigh, one that already explains how tired you are, and close your eyes.Â
Saturday, 1st May 2015.
âYeah, mâhere,â you mumbled, holding your phone to your ear, feet kicking at the rocks. âMake sure you rescue me.â
âI have a good feeling about this date,â Abby admitted softly, unbeknownst to you, holding back her sobs, and smiled even though you couldnât see her. âI think Itâs going to be amazing.â
âYeah? How do you know?â
âBecause I know you, and you deserve this.âÂ
Her words buried deep in your chest, and you felt your eyes slowly well up with tears, but you couldnât cry, not today, not when you were about to have a fucking date. âAbby?â
You werenât sure if you heard the hitch in her breath, and if you did, you ignored it. âYeah?â She asked, fumbling with the sleeve of the hoodie she stole from you.
âThank you.âÂ
Blinking away the tears in her eyes, Abby smiles sadly to herself. âOf course. I love you.â
âI love youââ
âY/N? Hi!âÂ
âAbby I gotta go, Iâll come over after, yeah?âÂ
âGood luck.â
Slipping your phone into your back pocket once you hung up, you smiled tightly. âMandy, right?âÂ
âThe one and only! Seems unsettling it took you until the first date to know my name, but whatever, weâre here now.â She didnât seem to notice your tight-lipped smile and urge to roll your eyes. âShall we?â
âLead the way.â Â
The small restaurant was slightly dimmed, smelling of cigarettes and strong beer. Mandy didnât seem to mind, in fact, she was happily walking around; looking for a table to sit at and a small shriek of happiness flooded from her once she found a table that fitted her. âLetâs sit, come come.â The redhead hurried, throwing her bag and jacket onto the table beside her.
âOh, uh, sure,â You took her things, smiling apologetically at the old couple who looked at her shocked, and seated yourself in the chair opposite her. âMânot sure what to eat here, never been before.â You admitted sheepishly.Â
Mandy, who had yet to even speak, looked at you with a smile. âEverything here is good except for the lemon tart and the white wine.â
âWhatâs wrong with the wine?â
âTastes like shit, typical for them, and whatnot.â She shrugged again, and It caught you off guard with how fast she covered up her distaste for things with a wide smile. One thatâs almost sinister-looking. She was a good person though, Dina mentioned she was. You couldnât judge her based on a smile. âNow, how did you meet Dina and Ellie?â
âI met Abby first, actuallyââ
âAbby? Why doesnât that name ring a bell?â
âOh, uh, Jerry Andersonâs daughter? They own the candy store?â
âAh,â Mandy flashed yet another smile, sitting back in her chair and nodding along. âDonât know them personally, I wouldnât have a reason to.âÂ
âRight,â Clearing your throat, you hummed and gave her your best grin. Did you look stupid? Maybe, but did she care? Apparently not. âHow did you meet Dina?âÂ
The sharp pinch on your skin had your eyes snapping open, your body almost falling out of the chair when you spotted Ellie looking at you, grinning from ear to ear. âDude, fuck you.â
âYouâre wasting time, If mânot allowed to nap, then you arenât allowed either.â She scoffed, slipped the sheet of paper into her pocket, and stood up. âWe arenât getting anywhere, letâs go back to mine and we can go from there.âÂ
âWhat if thereâs nothing?â
âThereâs always something.âÂ
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You started to lose count of the days. First they started as days, and then they suddenly started blending into weeks. You and Ellie were still none the wiser. Still lost on every account of what happened when Abby had left your house the night she vanished. You had barely left your bed; only to shower, brush your teeth and eat, but besides that, it felt like you were falling into another deep hole you werenât sure you could dig yourself out of.Â
Today was the first day you gathered enough energy to pull yourself out of the hole that was your unmade bed, and clothe yourself in something that had way too many holes, and probably is over 5 years old, but it was a start. âMost books that come back are usually missing a couple of pages, sânot unusual,â Brenda, the owner, explained with a tired smile. âDoesnât make it less annoying though.â
âYeah, canât read a book with a fuckinâ page missin,â You grumbled, feeling the same emotions as her. You could get lost in your books, and to know the one you wanted to read was missing about 5 pages pissed you off. âSâfine, Iâll just take the other books.â
âAre you sure, Honey?â
âYeah, mâsureââ
From the corner of your eye, there was a sudden flash, a sliver of blonde hair caught your attention and your body did a full 180, dropping the books on the floor, causing Brenda to let out a scowl and drop to her knees quickly just to pick them up. They were collector books, how dare you just drop them?â Shit, fuck, sorry, Brenda, I have to goââ
You were already running away before you finished your sentence. Pushing people out of your way, tugging them and almost pushing them over as you scrambled to get past the large crowds. âAbby!?â You shouted, sadly tripping someone over in the process, but a part of you didnât care. âMove out the fuckinâ way,â Your hands pressed onto a back, shoving them a little too hard for anyoneâs liking, sending them tumbling over one of the stools. âAbby!â
Before you could comprehend anything else, let alone think about the blonde hair, your body barreled into another harshly, sending you both to the floor, your back hits the dirty floor with a loud thud and winds you in the process. âFuck!â You hissed, coughing painfully.
âJesus Christ, Y/N.âÂ
Jesse. Turning on your side, your eyes flutter open, the pain in your back trailing all over your body as you find him already pushing himself off the floor, crouching beside you, and holding a hand out for you. âSorry, I just thought I saw someone.â You explained, taking his hand and letting him pull you up.Â
âAbby?â
âWhat?â
âYou were shouting her name,â He laughed, shrugging his shoulders and dusting off yours. âDina told me you and Ellie were looking for her, or something like that,â Jesse murmured, holding his hand up to block the sun from his eyes. âHad any luck?â
âI wouldnât be shouting her name like a fuckinâ maniac and pushing people over if I had luck finding her,â You scoffed and rolled your eyes. His smile fell at your aggression, but quickly recovered and patted your shoulder with another smile. âSorry, Iâve justâ I donât know what to do, It feels like sheâs still here, somewhere, and I just want her to come back.â
âI know, and she will. Youâre both like, stuck to each other, If anyone can find her, Itâs you,âÂ
âY/N! Y/N!â
Turning your head, you find Ellie frantically running towards you and Jesse. She barely acknowledges him though and instead, shoves a piece of paper into your hands before hunching over, resting her hands on her thighs and panting heavily. âWhatâs this?â You question with a raised eyebrow.Â
âAbby was arguing with someone,â She spoke between pants and cleared her throat. âThat creepy old man we saw last week? Freaked me the fuck out, to be honest, but when I saw him again this morning, he kind of cornered me and started telling me that she was arguing with someone near the barn, it got heated, but thatâs all he remembers.â Ellie finally got out.Â
âArguing? With who?â
âFuck if I know, but he said it sounded bad. So whoever she was arguing with, knows where she went, or was the one to see her last, right?â She blinked, copying Jesse and blocking the sun from her face with her hand.Â
âI thought I saw her,âÂ
âSaw who? Abby? When?â
âWas talking to Brenda about books, and then It just felt like I saw herââ
âAlmost took me out in the process.â Jesse chimed in.
Rolling your eyes, you looked down at the sheet of paper; the same sheet that listed the names of everyone who lived here. âSo she was arguing with someone? That could have been anyone.â
âHalf of them are old, one argument would send them into their coffinââ
âEllie!âÂ
âWhat?! Mâjust saying! Itâs true.â
âJesse, do you remember Abby wearing jewelry?â You asked after a few seconds of silence.
His eyebrow rose this time, only to furrow. âUh, maybe, Iâm not sure, why?â
âAbby never wore jewelry unless it was from you or Jerry.â Ellie gave you the same confused look. âWhy? What is that big head of yours thinking?â
âNah, sânothing, was just wondering,â You shook them off and scrambled the paper between your hands. âSomething just feels off and I canât explain it no matter how much I think.â
âJerry still has all those pictures we took, maybe we can start there this time, see if anything jumps out at you?â Jesse suggested this time.
âWhaâ You?â Ellie scoffed.
âAbby is my friend too, Ellie.â
âAnd yet youâve never taken the time to visit us or Jerry since she went missing, shocker, Jesse.â
âGuys, enough,â You pinched the bridge of your nose harshly and sighed deeply. âLetâs just go see Jerry for the pictures.â
Jerry wasnât lying when he said he hadnât changed anything in Abbyâs bedroom. The wallpaper was still the yellow and sunflower she picked when she turned 16. The bed sheets were the same light blue with clouds that scattered around the fabric. Her mirror still had every Polaroid hung up from the multiple drunk nights you all had. âThereâs still another box in the attic, Iâll get it for you.â Her Dad appeared in the doorway, looking at you all with a gentle smile. âWeird seeing all of you in her room after so long,â He chuckled and placed the box on her bed. âCan I get any of you something to eat or drink?â
âNo, thank you.â
âMâalright, but thank you, Jerry.â
âCan I have a glass of water?â
âReally, Jesse?â Ellie glared.Â
âWhat?! Iâm thirsty.â Jesse glared back.
âIâll get your drink and then grab the last box.â Jerry laughed at their bickering and left the room.Â
âRight,â Ellie clasped her hands together and took refuge at Abbyâs untouched desk. You could tell Jerry hadnât touched anything there because the old music festival poster was still lying there on the oak. âSomething that could help us.â She muttered to herself while you and Jesse were already opening the box.Â
âI didnât realize how many pictures we took when we were all together,â Jesse smiled fondly at the thought of seeing so many old memories between you all and instantly shoved his hand into the filled box and grabbed a handful of pictures.
âHow many are there?â Ellie laughed from the other side of the room.
âMore than Joel has of those vinyls, thatâs for sure.â You chuckled.
âOld man is gonna be so jealous we have more pictures together than he has of his beloved music.âÂ
âOr you could find another that he doesnât have yet, you know, being a good daughter to the old man seeing as he feeds you 4 times a day and takes care of you,â You suggested with a subtle smirk. âJust a little idea of what to get him for his birthday.â
âOh yeah? What are you gonna get him then?â
âAnother jumper, what else?â
âYouâve given him over 10 since you met him!â
âDidnât you steal 3 of my jumpers?â You quipped back, eyebrow rose and lips quirked up.
âYou justâ Your jumpers are comfy, okay!?â
âOh I was just asking, youâre the one getting all defensive,â You teased before taking your handful of pictures. You donât remember each time you took them, there were so many that it could go back years before you were even friends with Ellie or Jesse. There were more than enough to write an entire book; it seemed as you scanned over a couple.Â
As you went to grab another set, seeing as the ones you picked didnât really give you much, you had knocked over the pile that Jesse had already looked through, and sent them tumbling to the floor. Cursing under your breath, you rolled your eyes at yourself and sighed. âShit,â You grumbled, placing the pile of photos on the bed before kneeling on the floor to grab the few that you knocked over. âEllie, did you find anything?âÂ
âNah, still nothing.â The Brunette sighed from the desk.
Picking up the abandoned photos, you quickly catch onto a slight glint and sparkle from the corner of your eye; furrowing your eyebrows, you push the pictures onto the bed with the others, and lean your head down more, looking under her bed. âWhat theââ Reaching towards whatever it was you thought you saw, you grabbed it, and your lips parted with a soft exhale.
A bracelet.
Holding it up, you inspected it closely. âWhatâs that?â Jesse spoke up as you noticed there were quite a few charms already missing. Did Abby hide them? Why was there only a few left, and the others were gone? âIs that Abbyâs?â
Ellie had quickly snatched it from your hands, which caused you to almost stumble onto the floor at her abrupt movement, held the bracelet up and looked at it. âIâve only seen this once,â
âSo Itâs hers?â
âI assume so, I saw her with it on her 16th birthday,â Ellie nodded and took a seat in the middle of Abbyâs bed with her legs crossed. âIâve only seen her with it on once, and I mean, you guys should know that too seeing as you got her the fuckinâ thing, Y/Nâ
Did you? Then why couldnât you remember?Â
âHow donât you remember?â Jesse laughed and slapped the back of your head gently. âCan we just talk about the fact she wore all of your clothes? She wouldnât go out unless you were going, nor would she go to any of the parties here unless you were with her? You were both obsessed with each other. You bought it for her, or made it for her, should I say.â
âMade it?â You choked out, looking over at the bracelet that was still in Ellieâs hands. âI donâtââ
âItâs been hard for all of us, but more so for you,â Ellie admitted quietly and smiled sadly. âAbs was closer to you than the rest of us. We can all understand that this is something you donât remember because youâre too busy blaming yourself.â
âThatâs notââ
âY/N, youâve been blaming yourself the second the missing posters went up,â Jesse spoke, sitting beside Ellie on the bed. âEvery day since then youâve blamed yourself,and youâre still blaming yourself, right now, I just know your head is going through the cycle Itâs been going through for the past god knows how many years.â
âBut why donât I remember making her that? Why?â
âBecause youâre blocking it out,â Jerry spoke up. âYouâre blocking out all the memories because youâre scared.â
âMânot scaredââ
Planting the final box on the floor, Jerry crouches beside you and places his hand comfortingly on your shoulder. âYouâre blocking them out because youâre scared. Youâve been blocking them out because youâre blaming yourself, and maybe if you block them out, it wonât hurt you as muchââ
âHurt me,â You scoffed and shrugged his hand off your shoulder as you stumbled to your feet. âWonât hurt me as much. Mânot ready to let her go, is that better for you? Maybe if I keep my memories locked away, Iâll have more time to make new ones when she comes home. I know this is fucking hard for all of us, for you, but it is killing meââ You paused to take a deep breath, ignoring the worried looks on all of them. âItâs fucking killing me going through fucking photos, asking people around the fucking village, trying to figure out what happened when sheâs fucking alone, all alone and I donât know where she is. This is pointless, all of this is pointless because Abby means more to me than some pictures! Iâm here looking at fucking pictures while the girl I love is somewhere out there, fucking scared and thereâs nothing I can do. I canât promise you anything, I canât promise no one anythingâ
âY/Nââ Jerry frowned as he rose to his feet and cupped your face gently between his hands. âYouâre looking for her,â He murmured with a soft smile. âYouâre doing something, and youâre doing a better job than the so-called professionals.â
âI canât even figure out who she argued with, I havenât done anything.â You choked out, body falling into his as he wrapped his arm around you and cupped the back of your head. âI need her back, I just want her back.â
âI have faith. With you both, I always have.â Jerry smiled.Â
You werenât sure what happened after your small breakdown, all you know is that youâre still sitting in Abbyâs bedroom 5 hours later. Still sifting through endless pictures, notes, journals, anything to give you a hint of something. Was Abby afraid of someone? Why was she arguing? Who was she arguing with? You had so many questions and yet you felt like you had so little time to get everything. âThis is the second time sheâs yelled at me, what did I do wrong?â Ellie, who was hunched over the desk, mumbled as your eyes locked onto her back.
âEllie? Who yelled at you?â You asked, sitting up slowly.
âWhat? No, Itâs a diary entry in Abbyâs journal,â She turned around, made her way over to you, climbed onto the bed, and slumped beside you. âLook,â Ellie passed you the book, onto the page she was reading and you furrowed your eyebrows when you saw it.
âWho yelled at her?â You took the journal from her hand and skimmed through more of the pages, ones you assume Ellie has yet to read through. Jesse left not that long ago, muttering apologies but his parents wanted him to help with dinner.Â
The more you flipped through, the more you noticed.
Sunday, 2nd May 2015.
I think she hates me. Iâm not sure what I did for her to hate me, but apparently I must have done something.
Sunday, 2nd May 2015.
She threatened me today. I havenât stopped crying. I donât know why she hates me.
Monday, 3rd May 2015.
Itâs getting harder and harder to look at her and tell her Iâm fine. Itâs breaking my heart and I canât even talk to her about it.Â
âObviously the last one has to be about you. So something happened and she couldnât even talk to you about it, I assume?â Ellie slumped her head on your shoulder and grumbled. âIs there anything else? To just give us a timeline for however long this went on for?â
âThat was the last one,â You closed the book and placed it on your lap with another long sigh. âAbby never told Jerry anything, so I doubt talking to him about this is going to do much.â
âSo, over the past god knows how many weeks weâve been doing this, weâve found out that someone was on Abbyâs case, who, thatâs still another thing we need to figure out,â Ellie explained, nervously fumbling with the ring on her finger.
âI wish she would have spoken to me, I could have done something, kept her even safer,â You felt worse now than you did earlier, reading those journal entries made your heart sink. Your best friend, the girl you were in love with, was going through something she felt like she couldnât even talk to you about.Â
âAbby would hate that youâre blaming yourself,â Ellie frowned, curling into your side and rubbing her nose. âYou know that she would never let you think that about yourself, it will kill her to know youâre blaming everything on yourself, still.â
âI always promised I would keep her safe, and I couldnât even do that. If I did, she would still be here, she wouldnât be missing, El.â
âWhen we find her, mâgoing to ask her for permission to punch youââ
âWhy?!â You cut her off, outraged and shocked at her words.
âBecause then maybe youâll stop blaming yourself for this, for everything thatâs happened.âÂ
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Youâre sitting at the bar the next evening when it happens, minding your own business as you wait for Jesse and Ellie, when a guy, a gruff guy walks up to you; slightly drunk and smoking a cigarette, when he bumps into your shoulder and scowls. âHeard you and your little friends are looking for that girl,â He hiccups, the stench of his beer breath has your stomach churning and nose scrunching up at the smell.
âFucks it to you?â
âSheâs been gone for years, no chance sheâs gonna turn up now, no?â His laugh made your skin crawl and you didnât know if you wanted to smash his beer bottle over his head or break his jaw. Maybe both, it would be easier for him to stop talking to you. âI donât know why you try, she was a lost cause years before she disappeared.â
âYou donât even know her, shut your fuckinâ mouth.â You warned, standing up slowly. You towered over him by a few more inches, and half expected him to cower away, most people did, but he didnât, he just laughed harder, taking constant drags of his cigarette and looked you up and down. âMânot afraid to shove that bottle down your throat, now fuck off.â Your face was now in his, and the smell of beer smelt worse if that was even possible.
âOh yeah? The fuck you gonna do? Shove this bottle down my throat? Your threats are empty and pointless, like your search for your little fuckinâ girlfriendââ
âSay one more thing about her, I dare you.â
Before you can go through with your promise, a hand grabs your arm and pulls you away. âHeâs not worth it, just let it go.â Ellie, who you hadnât even noticed arrived, murmured into your ear and dragged you away from the smiling man. âFighting someone isnât worth it when we have someone more important to find, okay?â
âStupid cunt.â You growled at him, letting Ellie drag you out of the bar and into the open air. âCould have just let me throttle the bastard or something.â
âAnd risk you getting into trouble when Abby is waiting for you?â Jesse spoke up and pushed himself off the wall.Â
Just her name has you relaxing in your spot and nodding to yourself slowly. Abby was waiting for you, wherever that might be, she was. No matter how long it takes, youâre going to be the one to save the woman you love. All you have is hope. Pulling out your small box of cigarettes along with your lighter, you shove one between your lips, lighting it up and taking a long drag. âSo, the notes, the bracelet, whatâs next?â You mumbled between puffs.Â
âAre you chain smoking?â Ellie laughed with a subtle scoff.Â
âGive me a break, I havenât slept properly in years,â You rolled your eyes and slumped your head on Jesseâs shoulder. âWhatâs next?â You asked again.Â
As Ellie went to open her mouth, Mandy appeared outside the small shop beside the bar, looking over at you and waving quickly. âY/N!â And before you knew it, she was already standing in front of you before you had the time to register what was going on. âAre you free tonight?â
Coughing on your cigarette, Jesse slapped your back and laughed softly while you cleared your throat and smiled painfully at her. âTonight? Uhm mânot sure, why?âÂ
âI was wondering if you wanted to come over and have dinner with me?â
âTonight?â
âYes, silly, I said tonight didnât I?â
You could see Ellie rolling her eyes beside you from the corner of your eyes, and as much as you wanted to say no, maybe saying yes might help your case. You could try and find something else about Abby, maybe Mandy might have seen someone being rude or mean to Abby when you werenât around. âYeah, sure!â You agreed, a little too enthusiastically for your liking.Â
âWhat?!â Ellie shouted.Â
âOh really? That would be wonderful, howâs 7?â
â7 is great, Mandyâ
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you?â Ellie whisper-yelled once Mandy walked away and was so far away that she couldnât hear you guys. âAre you fucked in the head or something?â
âRelax, If Itâs just me with her, she might know something and tell me.â
Eyeing you up closely, she simply sighs and slaps your back gently. âMake sure you text or call if she starts to freak you out too much.â
âOr if she tries to kiss you again,â Jesse added with a snicker.Â
âYou guys are so funny, seriously, should become comedians or something.â You took another drag of your cigarette and glared at them both.
âAnd never be able to see your angelic face again? How would I survive?â Ellie gasped dramatically and grinned. âNo but seriously, donât give into her weirdness. Remember, only anything to do with Abby, got it?â
âYes mom,â You huffed while Ellie simply pinched your arm and laughed at your scowl. âWe have time to kill until then though. Any idea on who threatened her? I keep thinking but no one comes to mind.â
âNo fuckinâ idea, Abby had her secrets, ones she didnât tell us about, but if it risked her like, mâsure she would have told one of us right? She wouldnât just hide it until something like this happened?âÂ
âNone of us knew this was going to happen, let alone Abby knowing,â You murmured, using your shoe to put out the cigarette you dropped on the floor once you were done with it. âAbby used to have multiple journals, were the others not in there?â
âNot that I saw, she probably kept there somewhere else. Journals arenât supposed to be snooped in, hiding it is what I would have done if I had one.â
âSo youâre saying we look in her room again?â
âWorth a try, might find something else.â
Abbyâs Dad didnât mind that you were once again sitting in her bedroom, it was something you all did when you were younger; Abbyâs house being the one that everyone hung out in the most, so changing that routine now would be pointless.Â
Looking through the endless supply of books in her bookshelf, you bite back another sigh when you placed yet another back, still not finding anything that could be of use or even a fuckinâ clue, and turning around. Ellie was sitting cross-legged on the floor at the end of the bed, going through the journals you both looked through last night, and with the sigh she lets out when she throws her head back, you know itâs another deadend.Â
âNothing, again.â
Sitting down beside her, you take the journal from her hands, your fingers brush against the words, even her words were somewhat comforting to you. As you fumbled with the pages, you were suddenly intrigued with what Ellie was doing; Reading notes you all used to write for each other if one of you had gotten into trouble with your parents, and werenât allowed to leave the house. âAbby never got in trouble, like ever,â She laughed.
âBecause we never told Jerry about the other shit,â You snickered, the memory of Abby trying weed for the first time, and her Dad freaking out when you both arrived home, slightly buzzed out your minds, trying to act normal. âHe knows about most of the weed stories, but not the insane shit we used to get up to as kids.â
âWe were fuckinâ crazy, werenïżœïżœïżœt we?â
âOh, we should have been shipped off to the ward for the shit we did.â
âRemember Brenda thinking she had rats in the shop? But it was just us making it seem like she was going crazy?â
âI still regret that, I wouldnât have done it if you didnât give me 4 joints before,â You threw your head back and laughed. Your laughter died down quite quickly when you brushed your thumb against the edge of the page, a sharp pain shooting through your hand. âShit! Ow.â
âFuck you do?â
âPaper cut,â You grumbled and looked down at your small wound.
Only for your eyes to widen at the slight kink in the paper.
âEllieâ
âDid you know that Abby used to call you butterfly?â Ellie, oblivious to your stare, laughed.
âEllieâ You repeated, louder this time.
âWhat?â
Turning to face you, her eyes land on the paper instead of your face, and the letters fall from between her fingers once youâre peeling apart two pieces that had somewhat been glued together.Â
âTypical Abby, fair play,â Ellie murmured once you pushed the two pieces apart.
A whole new entry.Â
Tuesday, 4th May 2015
I can feel her. Sheâs everywhere. Sheâs told me to back off, but what do I say when she notices Iâm pulling away? I canât even smile at her without it being a problem. What if she kills me? Sheâs crazy, I donât think anyone understands. I tried to keep her away, but sheâs clawing her way into everything and tearing things apart. At night, I can see her outside the window, looking at me, smiling at me, looking at me like she wants to kill me. Who do I tell? Who can I go to without making it a big issue? Is she really capable of killing me? Making me disappear?Â
What if she kills me?
What if she does?
What if this is the last time Iâll see my friends, my dad, my journals?
WhatâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ.
Closing the book quickly, Ellie flinches beside you at the force, and you pinch the bridge of your nose. âThis is getting fuckinâ weird.â You admitted. âIâm going to kill whoever it is.â
âLetâs not jump to those conclusions just yet, is there anything else?â
âNo, itâs the only page we havenât seen. So itâs a woman, a woman was the last person to see her, right? Thatâs gotta be the only reason right now. We have nothing else and if there is other stuff, weâre fuckinâ missing it.â
âI can look through everything again when youâre with that crazy one, see if we missed anything. I donât mind drinking another black coffee, some energy drinks and staying awake all night.â Ellie joked.
âI donât mind going through it all again with you when I get back. Weâre still meeting up later, yeah?â
âIf she doesnât somehow kidnap you and trick you into dating you, yeah.âÂ
6:45pm rolled around quickly and you found yourself standing outside of Mandyâs house, one hand shoved in your jacket pocket while the other was at your side, and patiently waiting. Just as you were about to knock a second time, the door swung open to reveal a very happy Mandy, smile so wide you could see her teeth. âYou made it!â
âCourse,â You laughed, digging your hand deeper into your pocket. âSorry mâearly,â
âDonât worry, earlier the better! Come in, itâs cold out here tonight,âÂ
Stepping aside to let you in, Mandyâs hand brushes against yours as you walk past her and into her warmer house, oblivious to the way her eyes raked over you, almost a little too desperately. âThe food is in the oven, should be ready soon, can I take your jacket?â
âNah, youâre alright, Itâs freezing out there, gotta warm myself up a little.â You smiled, eyes instantly noticing just how neatly the table was set. The candles flickered almost angrily, the cutlery placed perfectly, and the tablecloth somehow matched everything. âThis is nice,â
âYes, isnât it? I wanted it to be perfect for you.â Mandy commented softly. âIâm just going to check on the food, feel free to take a seat, get yourself comfortable and stuff, I wonât be long.â
âTake your time.â
Just as you sat down at her table, a sudden loud banging had you flinching in your seat. You looked over at Mandy who halted in her steps not even 5 minutes later when she reappeared from the kitchen and from where you were sitting you could see and hear her grinding her teeth together. âWhat was that?âÂ
âThe neighbors are probably decorating again, Itâs starting to get on my nerves If Iâm being honest.â
âAt 7:30?â You laughed nervously.
âThey have no consideration for those who live beside them. Iâll start giving them a piece of my mind If they keep it up,â She explained, placing the hot pot in the middle of the table with a bright and wide smile. âThere! Can I get you anything to drink? Water? Juice? Wine?â
âSmells amazing,â You smiled and got a little more comfortable in your seat before looking at her again. âWaterâs fine, thank you.â
âItâs my Motherâs recipe, nothing beats a homemade meal,â Mandyâs smile never left her face, not even when you quickly dug into the fresh meal. âIâll be back with your water.â
You were almost done with half of your food by the time she came back with a fresh glass of water, and you looked at her with a thankful smile when she placed it beside your plate. âThank you,â You mumbled before furrowing your eyebrows. âSorry, thatâs gross.â
âNo, no itâs cute, donât worry.â She giggled, sitting in her own chair.Â
As she started digging into her meal, her eyes would flutter over at you, but you seem really into whatever it was that she made to notice the subtle flirtatious eyes she was making at you. It was delicious, and you loved food, so you couldnât complain now could you? âThis is really good,â You mumbled between chews.Â
âIâll thank my mother for you when I see her again.â Mandy smiled.
âYou might want to give me the recipe, itâs so good.â
âAs much as I like you, I canât do that, family recipe.â She smirked widely.Â
Mandy continued to eat her food, little moans of delight falling from her mouth with each bite she took, while you were suddenly falling into your own world. Mandy hadnât seemed to notice you had stopped replying to what she was asking you, or just wanted to get the food out of the way before she continued. Either way, it didnât seem to affect her much. All you could seriously think about was Abby, hoping that she had some source of something to keep her hoping and until you could find her.Â
âAre you okay? Youâve gone quiet,â Mandy murmured finally, finishing the final piece of her food. âIs it the food? Is it not sitting right with you?â
âNo! No the food was amazing, mâjust thinking, nothing to worry about.â
âWorried about what?â
âJust worried about Abby is all, like I said, nothing to worry about.â You smiled and wiped your face with the napkin you had on your lap.Â
You hadnât noticed the way the smile on her face dropped and just stared at you. âWere you close? You and Abby?â She asked.
âSince we were babies pretty much,âÂ
âThatâs nice, nice to have someone close to you and that you can trust, I suppose.â Her voice suddenly got a little quieter, and nursed her glass of wine. âHow do you know she didnât just leave willingly?â
âAbby wouldnât have left Jerry without a reason, she wouldnât have left us, left me, without a reason.â You frowned, eyes focused on the empty plate before you. âSheâs not the type of person to run away. Even when things are hard, she comes to me for help and she didnâtââ
âWas she in trouble?â
âSomeone didnât like her, threatened her, and I didnât even know. If she told me, I could have helped her, kept her safe.â
âSânot your job to protect everyone,â Mandy smiled softly, watching you closely. âYou know that right? You canât save everyone, especially if they canât even save themselves.â Her fingers graze yours on the top of the table, you werenât even sure how or when she moved hers but when you felt them against yours, your eyes locked with hers. âMaybe Abby left because there are better things out there for her, or maybe she just wanted to see something new.â
âWithout me?â The crack in your voice was evident.Â
âAnyone can leave if they truly need to or want to,â Her fingers continued to brush against yours with each word and you couldnât even move. âPeople expect so much from people around here, weâre all trying to live, find someone, and get on with our lives, and sometimes that can be too much for one person to handle. Maybe Abby didnât want to burden you with a thought she might have had.â
âHer burdens are mine,â You murmured. âWhatever she deals with, we deal with it together.â
Her hand retracted from yours quickly, once again you didnât notice the scowl on her face, and grabbed your plate from in front of you as well as her own before making her way into the kitchen. âWould you like some dessert?â She asked, abandoning the conversation altogether.
âOh, uh, sure?â
The light above flickered, making a soft buzzing sound as the room felt colder again. Sunlight wasnât a luxury anymore, even if it was so desperately needed. Mold has started coming in quicker than before. Even the eerie darkness is something straight out of a nightmare. The only thing in the room that was noticeable was the small lamp on the floor, but even that wasnât bright enough. It never was.Â
By the time Mandy came back with two bowls in her hands, you were standing by the bookshelf, running your fingers over the spines of what you can already tell are very old books. âDidnât know you liked to read books?â You asked, looking over at her.
âOh yeah! I love books, mostly the classics, but the thriller ones are my favorite. Could read them all day. I actually have to return those to Brenda soon, had them way too long.â She giggled and placed the bowls on the table. âWhat is your favorite?â
âThe Shining.âÂ
âHavenât read it before, do you have a copy I could borrow?â
âYeah sure, Iâll find it and give It to you.â
âPerfect, letâs eat dessert!â
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âGlad youâre back in one piece,â Ellie was the first to comment when she noticed you walking into the bar an hour later. âDidnât try to shove her tongue down your throat this time?âÂ
âLike you tried with Abby that one time you got drunk?â You quipped back with a lazy grin and slumped into the chair beside her. âNah, she just kept touching my hand, not trying to kiss me this time.â
âOh? Are you lovebirds now?â
âKnock it off, El.â Jesse laughed and continued to sip his beer.
âNo, you imbecile, she did get weird whenever I spoke about Abby though,â You shrugged, pinching some of Ellieâs chips. âLike, she just got up and went to get dessert?â
âSheâs always been weird, so fuckinâ obsessed with you for a start.â It was Jesse this time.Â
ïżœïżœReally? I never got that vibe before,â
âYou wouldnât, youâre like so fucking oblivious to most shit,â Ellie snorted. âYou didnât even realize IÂ was flirting with you when I first met you. Took you 4 months to say, Ellie, were you asking me on a date that one time? Oblivious.â
âIn my defense, you fuckinâ flirt with everyone,â You defended with a soft laugh, and eyed up the pictures on the table. âWhat are you guys doing anyway?â
âWell, while you and Barbie were having your little date, me and Jesse were going through the rest of the pictures. Nothing has jumped out yet, but I do have a feeling something will point us in the right direction this time.â
âRight, pass us some then,âÂ
âOf course your majesty.â
âFuck off, man,â You snickered and snatched the pile from her hand. âOh, you know the family that lives beside Mandy?â
âHuh? Beside Mandy?â
âYeah, the family that lives next door?â
âNo one has lived in that house for like 4 years,â Ellie blinked, confusion written all over her face.
âOh, she said they were decorating or something earlier, there was banging and thatâs what she told me.âÂ
âJoel knows more than me about anyone, Iâll ask him later, see if anyoneâs moved in since the other family,â Ellie promised with a tired smile.
âThanks, El,â A chip that you flicked hit her in the chin and you held back a laugh when her eyes widened and she suddenly scowled at you. âSorry, you looked like you needed something to cheer you up. Did you sleep much last night?âÂ
âA few hours, better than none, right?â The smile she gave you didnât reach her face. Everyone is like that lately and you sadly understood why. The community wasnât exactly whole right now.Â
âWant to watch a movie tonight?â You suggested as you ate some more chips.
âWhat one?â
âUhm, you pick, I donât mind which one.â
âDonât wanna freak anyone out or anything,â
âWhat is it?â
âThereâs someone in the background of the picture you and Abby took the night before, well, you know, you canât see much but Itâs someone for sure,â Jesse mumbled and slid the picture over to you.Â
The background is blurry, you notice that much at first but as you squint your eyes just a little more, a black silhouette is something you can pick out. Standing behind what you can only assume Is one of the trees just across the ways of the pond both you and Abby spent a lot of time at. âItâs too dark, I canât fucking pick out who it is,â You huffed. âDo you think It might be who threatened her?â
âAnd risk getting caught when sheâs with you? Knowing damn well youâd knock their teeth out?â Ellie laughed.
âAnythingâs possible, El.â
âLetâs say this is them, how do we find out who it is?â
âCould host a small get-together tomorrow night here, remembering Abby or something, and we all write something for her, see if someone slips up and exposes themselves?â Jesse suggests, looking between you and Ellie.Â
âIt could work,â Both you and Ellie answered at the same time. âBut how would we know who it is if they turn up and say something bad?â
âNo idea, but weâll figure it out as we go. Havenât we always done that?â He smiled and pushed the rest of the pictures which were of no use back into the box before putting the lid on. âWeâve always had each other's back, thatâs not going to change.âÂ
âIâll do whatever It takes If It means weâre one step closer to finding Abby.â You agreed.Â
âAlright, youâve pulled my leg, Iâm in too.â Ellie dramatically huffed but the smile on her lips gave her away. âLetâs watch that sappy romance movie,â
âWhich one?â
âAbbyâs favorite.â
âYou, Ellie Williams, want to watch Love Actually? Willingly?â
âWhy are you saying my name like that?! Yes, letâs watch it.â She scoffed and slapped the back of your head when she stood up. âBesides, you and Abby can bully me all you want for wanting to watch it when sheâs back with us.âÂ
âSheâll never let you live it down, you know what right?â
âYeah, but Itâs worth It, she is too.â Ellie winked.Â
â
The following evening dawned on you quicker than you would have liked. All of you were on edge. The picture, the missing charms, the truth that someone didnât like Abby had you, Ellie and Jesse looking around the bar with caution.Â
The remembrance of Abby had the all clear, everyone helped and chipped in where they could. Jerry was over the moon when you told him that you guys were doing this for her. Maybe in hopes that it would bring you one step closer, or maybe one step closer to her coming home.  Â
Thursday, 6th June 2015Â
âAbby, you look beautiful, why are you panicking?â Abby was sitting on the edge of her bed, fumbling with her bracelet yet not looking at you. âHey, Abs, whatâs up?â You crouched in front of her and took her hands into yours with a soft smile.
âI donât feel beautiful,â She admitted sadly.
âOh, Abby, you are beautiful. Everything about you is beautiful, your soul is perfect and stunning. You are the most beautiful person in the world. Your hair is beautiful, your smile is beautiful, your pretty eyes are stunning,â Her sniffle caused you to pause, reach your hand up and wipe it away. âEverything about you is beautiful.â
âReally?â
Cupping her face between your hands, you press you lips against her forehead and smile. âYes, really, you are so fuckinâ beautiful.â You whispered into her skin. âI promise, love.â
How could you not see the pain she was holding back, behind the little glint in her eye?
âTo Abby!â
Jerryâs voice brought you back to reality, smiled at everyone who raised a glass in her honor and nodded to himself as he walked down the small steps. âThank you for coming,â He murmured to a few of the older couples who gave him a gentle hug and a soft reassurance. âI know that Abby would have loved to see you guys together again.âÂ
On edge, you looked around the bar slowly, trying to pick out anyone that was acting weird or unusually suspicious. Thatâs how you looked at most people these days, picking them out one by one, wondering if they had done or said anything to Abby the night she vanished. You spotted Ellie doing the same on the other side of the room, taking small unsuspicious glances at everyone who came in and left. âHere,â
To your left, Jesse was holding a beer towards you, which you took with a soft thank you, and leaned against the wall with you. âAnyone catch your eye yet?â
âNot yet, everyone seems to be kind, and talking to Jerry, cheering him up and stuff,â You mumbled between sips, eyes still moving around as each person moves around before you. âI donât think they would hide, we know most people here, if anyoneâs missing, weâll know.â
âAnd if they do choose to miss something that is important to the community, then they are hiding something.â Jesse added.Â
âExactly, I donât think theyâre stupid enough to let it slip, know that we know something.â
âDid that guy who told you she was arguing with someone tell you anything else or?â
âDeadend, he just smiles at me all weird like now when I see him.â You grimaced and took a big gulp of your beer.Â
âItâs that friendly smile you have.â
âEat a dick.â You laughed.
In the middle of the bar, there was a box, which gave people to write notes, poems, or even just one word, so that when Abby did come back home, she would have kind things to read, and hopefully it would be able to cheer everyone else up when they read a few of them nearing the end of the night. You thought the idea was a good one when Jerry asked you about it this morning. He enjoyed having your input when it came to his daughter.Â
You wrote something simple, not overdone, but a little i miss you and i love you more than anything. It meant more than anything, Abby would know that if she was here right now, reading them. You always noticed the way she would blush and look away when you would tell her you love her before you either hung up after being on a phone call with her for hours, or even when you left her house. âI love you.â You murmured, folded the piece of paper and pressed you lips to it.Â
Ellie smiled from across the room.
She always found it amusing it took you years to know you were indeed madly in love with your best friend.Â
âHey,â
You almost gave yourself whiplash with how fast you turned around to find Dina looking at you and nervously fumbling with her fingers. âDina, hey,â You smiled awkwardly.Â
âDo you hate me? It would make sense if you did, with how I pulled away from you all, but with Abby going missing, I just got scared, and being around you guys made me miss her so much.â Dina rushed out.
âI donât hate you,â You reassured her quietly. âI understand though, itâs okay, we all deal with it differently, but I donât hate you, none of us do.â
âIs Ellie okay?â She asked hesitantly.
âI donât think so, but sheâs getting there,â You admitted truthfully. âYou should talk to her.â
âWouldnât that be awkward?â
âNothingâs awkward unless you make it awkward.â You winked with a soft laugh.
âRight, Iâll go and see her, if she starts freaking out, you should probably come over or something.â Dina smiled.
âWill do.â
If it wasnât for the fact you were already looking at Ellie, you would have had a stroke when you heard the loud crashing of her falling off the chair when she noticed Dina making her way towards her. Snorting under your breath, you shook your head, pushed yourself off the wall and made a beeline straight for the beer. âUsual?â Elaine, the older woman who took over the bar after her husband passed, smiled when you were quick to nod and slump yourself against the counter. âYou look tired, you sleepinâ?â
âWhen I can, which isnât much,â You mumbled softly with a subtle shrug. âBut what can you do? Sleep is the last thing I need right now.â
âMaybe you need just a little bit to find her.â
Pushing the beer into your direction, she laughed at the way your lips parted as you grabbed it; ready to ask her how she knew. âJerry told me earlier when he came here to set up. Itâs a good thing, you know? Abby adored you, and I know how much you care about her.â
âI seem to be getting nowhere when I feel like mâfinally getting somewhere.â
âThereâs more out there than meets the eye, Honey,â Elaine smiled. âYou just have to look closer.â
âWhat do youââ
âY/N?â Jerry called out.
God fucking damn it.
At his voice, you turn your body slightly, almost stiffly and raise an eyebrow at him. You quietly excuse yourself from the conversation you got yourself into with Elaine when he waved you over, and took a couple of strides towards him, placing your almost empty bottle of beer on the table beside you. âWhatâs up?â
âI was just going through some of the notes, you know, the ones people left for Abs, and I found this. What does it mean?â He explained, slightly rushed and shoved a piece of paper into your hands with worry written all over his face. âDid someone hurt her? Take her from me? Why?â
Your eyebrows furrow as you look down at the slip of paper in your hands, looking back up at him confused. âWhat is it?âÂ
âRead it, Itâll make more sense if you see it.â
Doing as youâre told, you donât have time to acknowledge the small fact that your hands start to tremble as you unfold the little note with caution. Your lips part, body tensing as your eyes widen as you read over the note slowly. Not fully understanding. âSomeone put this here?â You asked, voice cracking. âWhen?â
âIâm not sure, so many people have been leaving notes. I wouldnât have been able to catch who.â Jerry shook his head, and gripped the edge of the table tightly. âIf someoneâs hurt her, mâgonna kill them. Mâgonna kill them, Y/Nâ
âNot before us,â You murmured, already looking around the room. âWho was in charge of the box?â
âMe, and a couple of others, but this is the only bad one.â
âYouâve looked at the rest?â
âOf course.â
âAlright, put it somewhere else, out of sight from everyone. If this is the only bad one, then itâs possible theyâre just trying to scare us, making up a lie about whatâs happened to her. Sheâs fine, okay? Abby is strong, and weâre gonna find her.â You nodded. You werenât sure who you were trying to reassure more, you or Jerry? Both of you? The whole town?
âWhat are you going to do?â He blinked.
âFigure it out. Thatâs what mâgonna do.â
The night rushed along slowly as you, and a bunch of others made your way out of the bar, cigarette hanging between your lips and a cold beer in your hands. The note played on your mind angrily, eating and chewing away at your brain, almost trying to claw its way out of your head as you inhaled hit after hit of your cigarette. Who here hates Abby enough to hurt her? Take her away? She was nice to everyone, always offering to help someone who needed it, never letting the older people carry stuff too heavy, Abby wouldnât hurt a fly, so why would they feel the need to hurt her? Take her away from where she loves? From the people she adores? It doesn't make sense.Â
The longer you stood there, practically taking Ellieâs thought into consideration, pulling out cigarette after cigarette, the darkness seemed to loom and lurk more creepy than any other night. Almost like it was mocking you, judging you from afar as you tried to wrap your head around everything. Even the journal pages still donât make sense to you and itâs been over a week since the first. Itâs like she left, and suddenly youâre trying to figure out a really fucked up riddle in order to get you prize, the prize being Abby once everything slots into place like a puzzle.
âLetâs get you home, Honey. Night time around here has become a little scarier than before.â You spot a mother wrapping her daughter up on her scarf and jacket before holding onto her hand tightly after she places a kiss on her forehead. âStay close to Mommy and youâll be okay, alright?â
You wish Abby stayed close to you.Â
You watch the family walk away down the path, the lights casting a shadow around them. Like a possessed child, the shadow like a demon hanging on by a thread as they were no longer in your peripheral each step they took until they were around the corner. Gone just like Abby.Â
As you dropped your cigarette on the ground, you caught something behind one of the trees when you looked back up, lurking in the darkness and your body suddenly tensed on the spot. Did Abby feel like this? Did she feel like her entire soul left her body when she knew someone was watching her? Following her?Â
âHey!â You shouted, dropping your bottle in the process as you walked over to them, or trying to. It seemed like you had slightly spooked them, not aware you were staring right at them. âHey!â This time you started running as you saw the rustle of the leaves, the snapping of twigs under their feet. âStop running away!â You called out, pushing the branches out of your way.Â
Were you really doing this right now? Running after someone who could easily just kill you?
In your eyes, you could see the outline of their figure under the moonlight, shimming between trees, jumping over treeâs thatâve been left to fend for themselves over the years, and even though the pain and burn in your legs were starting to ache more and more the longer you ran after them, you couldnât stop. You needed to do this no matter the outcome. âStop running away from me!â You shouted, jumping over the same tree as they did. âI just want to talk! Thatâs all! Stop fuckinâ running!â You huffed.
You didnât see the branch hanging in front of you, or the rock on the floor, not until tripped, your face smacked into the branch harshly and landed on the floor with a loud thud. âFuck,â You groaned, cupping your nose quickly with a wince. âFuck!â You yelled, spitting out the dirt.Â
Rolling yourself over slowly, you puffed out a sigh as your eyes fluttered open; the midnight sky lurked down at you, almost inviting it to eat you whole. If it could reach out and grab you, you would be the darknessâs first victim. The chitter of insects in between the long grass had your ears perking up as you sat up. Cupping the back of your head, you hissed and screwed your eyes shut tightly and pulled yourself up off the floor.Â
Looking around, even though it was no use and they were probably gone already, you stumbled towards one of the trees and leaned against it tiredly. But all things turn you angry at some point.Â
All you could really think about the fact you still hadnât found Abby the longer you slumped yourself there, and that was enough to anger you enough until you repeatedly punched at the oak, over and over again until your knuckles were completely red, bits of wood stuck in your skin, but you didnât care, if you donât have Abby, what was the point?
âFuck you!â Your scream echoed eerily.
The flap of bird wings rang out loudly around you.
It took you an hour to trek back to the town. You held your hand against your chest, your nose stung like a bitch but this was the last thing on your mind as you stumbled your way through the crowds of drunk people, not giving you a single glance or worrying about the fact your nose was still bleeding, you probably broke a few knuckles. âJess, have you seen Y/N?â You heard Ellieâs voice but couldnât see her.Â
âY/N? No, I havenât seen her for a couple hours, now that Iâm thinking about it.âÂ
âShit, alright, uhm,âÂ
The sound of loud crashing caused both of them to look straight at you as you stumbled over one of the tables. âI think we found her?â Jesse laughed.
âShit, Y/N?â Ellieâs eyes widened at the sight of your bloody nose and rushed over to your side; not before watching you struggle 4 times to stand on your feet. âFuck, what the fuck happened to you?â She scoffed, pulling you up carefully.
âSomeone,â You groaned and slumped your head against her shoulder. âSomeone was watching, through the trees, ran after them but hit my head, broke my nose, I think? And then I lost them, so I punched a tree, I think my knuckles are broken.â You explained with a slight slur in your voice. âBut mâfine, just need to sit down for a second.â
âThatâs a lot of I thinks, we canât leave you alone for five fuckinâ minutes.â Ellie muttered under her breath and wrapped her arm around your waist tightly. âLetâs get you to mine, Joelâs out with Tommy so he wonât ask questions.âÂ
With the help of her and Jesse, you made it to Ellieâs house in one piece, well minus your dignity that the tree smacked out of you, but you still made it without another fall. They had managed to patch up your knuckles, and stopped the bleeding of your nose, ignoring every curse and wince that fell from between your bloody lips; telling you that it was your own fault for going without some kind of help or backup. âSo who did you see?â Jesse asked, dropping the dirty rags in the bin and turning to face you again.
âI was drinking my beer, and then I saw someone behind the trees, if this is the same person who was watching Abby, I can tell you it would have freaked anyone outââ
âSays the one who ran after them.â Ellie scoffed from beside you.
âYou were talkinâ to Dina, and Jesse was, well Jesse was where he usually goes, which is where? I donât know.â You glared at the pair of them. âBut mâhere, no?â
âLuckily.â Ellie sighed and pulled the tissue from out of your nose carefully. âWhat if something else seriously bad happened to you? And no one was there to get you?â
âMânot going anywhereââ
âYou donât fuckinâ know that! You canât just disappear without telling one of us. Thatâs not fair.â
The panic and worry in Ellieâs eyes is something you havenât seen since Abby went missing. She didnât talk about how she felt, but her eyes and face did, which is why your shoulder sagged and you nodded slowly. âI know, El, mâsorry, okay?â You smiled sadly.
âFor what itâs worth, this whole lookââ She pointed to your entire face with a laugh. âIs so worth it. Mâgonna tell Abby you risked breaking your knuckles and nose for her.â
âAnd sheâll ignore me for a weekââ
âA week? She will ignore you for a solid 5 seconds before sheâs asking you to cuddle her.â Jesse laughed with a slow head shake. âDid you find anything else out? Minus the dumb injuries?â
âThereâs one thing Jerry showed me.â
âWhat is it?â
Reaching into your back pocket with a quiet groan, you pulled the slip of paper out and handed it to Ellie, who was watching you closely. âThatâs all that happened tonight.â
Unfolding it, exactly like you did earlier tonight, Ellieâs eyebrows furrow into a tight frown almost and nothing comes out of her mouth when opens it and instead she looks back at you with wide eyes. âThis happened tonight?â
âLet me see,â Jesse held his hand out and took it from her. His eyes widen too. âHow didnât we notice? How many people were going to that box?â
âMânot sure.â
Does a domino effect really have to happen in my life? You thought.
Ellie, whoâs usually the one to be the first to ask whatâs next, doesnât do that, instead she looks at you and frowns. âYou need to rest, If Jesse has to leave, I can figure out whatâs next for this sudden murder club search party, but you need to get some sleep, and I wonât take no for an answer. Got it?â
âElââ
âI said got it?â
Slumping against the bed, you simply nodded like a lost puppy and folded your arms over your chest, completely forgetting about your broken knuckles you winced. âFine, but if you find anything, wake me up, yeah? Please?âÂ
âIf youâre knocked out cold, then no, but I will if you arenât.â
âThe tree already knocked her out coldâ Jesse chimed in with a sudden laugh.
âBoth of you go fuck yourself!â
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Brenda, poor woman was reading through one of her own books, jolted in her spot and looked up when the bell on the door rang, and held back a sigh at the sight of you and Ellie stumbling in through the small door with curses and grumbles. âBrenda! My favourite lady!â
âEllie, may I remind you of the time you almost broke my window? we arenât even acquaintancesâ
âI paid for it to be fixed, didnât I?!â Ellie moaned and kicked the floor childishly. âCan we look at that book you keep when people loan or bring back books? We have something we want to compare,â
âFor?â
âJust something we are working on, please? Itâll only take a couple minutes,â Your friend begged, leaned over the counter and pouted. âI will even ask Joel if he will take you on that date!â
âDate?! Excuse meââ
âYouâre in love with Joel, do this for me, and then Iâll get you that date with himâ
âFine, but donât knock anything over like last time, It took me an hour to fix everything.â She scowled and walked away.Â
âYouâre the best!â Ellie shouted after her.Â
The flight flickered on, and the sounds of loud banging could wake anyone up, even the small insects that lurk in the long grass outside in the wilderness. âNeed to take these back, hope you enjoyed those pathetic reads.â They mumbled, snatching the books from the dirty floor and scoffed. âDonât understand whatâs so special about them or you. Also, I can't afford to borrow anymore so this is the last of them for you.â
Just as fast it went on, the light was gone and it felt even colder once the door slammed shut.Â
Hunching over the counter, Ellie spots the thick yet old book and grabs it with both hands, a soft grunt slipping past her lips before pulling it over the counter and dropping it on the oak, the loud bang causing you to flinch and flick her ear. âOw!âÂ
âThatâs for trying to give me a heart attack.â You scoffed and slapped her shoulder. âSo this was your big plan? Look through the names until one stands out?â
âYeah or until we find one that matches, I guess?â
âBrenda, I know iâm late with returning these books butâ Hey!â Mandy halted in her steps mid way through the door when she spotted you and Ellie leaning on the counter, looking through something. âLoaning another book, Y/N?â
âOh, no not today, just finding something for Joel.â You lied, Ellie almost snickering behind her hand at your blatant lie. âYou read them already?â
âOh yeah! I had some free time after you left last night, really enjoyed themâÂ
âWhat was your favourite?â
The question caught her off guard as her lips formed into a pout as she thought about it. âUh, I really liked Pride and Prejudice, the others were boring but that one was amazing.â
No one in this town apart from me and Abby love that book. You thought.
âAh, well mâglad you enjoyed it. Do you still want to borrow my copy of the shining?âÂ
Mandy chewed her inner cheek before nodding a little too quickly and smiled again. âYeah, of course! Those stupid neighbors finally stopped decorating so I can probably get a night in to read some of it!â
âMandy, hello Love.â Brenda appeared with a mug in her hand and a plate of biscuits. âReturning them already? That was fast.â
Placing the stack of books on the counter, Mandy simply gave her a warm smile, one that was slowly starting to creep you out, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. âCanât afford to borrow anymore for a while, my brain is fried with all the stories Iâve read this week.â
âNo worries, Honey, just sign in the books you borrowed and theyâll be more for you next time when you do want to read again. Girls, can she use that for a second and then you can get back to whatever you were doing.â
âA date is on the line, Brenda, donât rush meâ
âIâll rush you both out of that door,â Brenda smirked and the words died in throat once Ellie nodded her head quickly, picked up the book and practically shoved it in shocked Mandyâs hand with a stutter of words. âThank you.â
âDo you have a pen I could borrow?â
Reaching for the one beside you, you hold it out towards her, which she takes with a soft thank you, places the book back on the counter and doodles her name onto the sheet of paper. âThank you again, Brenda. You always have a really good selection of books!â
âYouâre more than welcome, Love.â
âSee you later, Y/N?â
âWhatâs happening later?â Ellie eyed her.
âItâs that party thing, dunno if mâgoing though,â You smile and shoved your hands into your pockets. âIf I do, I assume youâre going?â
âYes! The only time I get to be free and myself, I guess. So Iâll be there. If you do change your mind and come, Iâll see you there?â
âFor sure.â Another tight lipped smile.Â
Mandy took her leave not long after, leaving you and Ellie to your little search once more and Brenda took herself into a little corner of the shop to what you could only assume was to read one of her books. âNow that sheâs gone,â Ellie trailed off.
Opening the book again, you brush your fingers down the list of people until it lands on hers; furrowing your eyebrows when you look at the book in front of you again, you lean your face closer and look at the signature a little longer, for far too long until youâre shoving your hand in your back pocket, rummaging around for the slip of paper you and Ellie took last night. âWhat are you doing?â Ellie laughed, watching you struggle.
Pride and Prejudice âŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠâŠ Mandy âĄÂ
âLook at her name,â You murmured, pulling the slip of paper out.
âWhos? Mandyâs?â
âThe way sheâs spelt it.â
Once you unfolded the paper, your eyes flickered between the slip between your fingers, and the name in the book, Ellie doing the same, having to lean over you. âWait,â She paused, snatching it from you and taking a look for herself.Â
Ellie looks at her name, and then at the note again;
ABBY DESERVED WHAT SHE GOT. âĄ
âDid she justââ
âThe fuckinâ heart, Ellie.â
âWait, is she really that fucking insane?â Ellie looked at the slip still in shock. âAre you joking me? Sheâs been under our nose this entire time?â
âSo, the banging I heard?â
âWasnât anyone fucking decorating thatâs for sure.â
âBefore we jump to conclusions, letâs just go get something to eat, mâstarving, and go through what we have. Anyone could write hearts next to their name.â
âIn the exact same way she does it? I doubt it.â Ellie murmured, tore the page out of the book quickly and stuffed it in her jacket pocket. Glaring at your stare. âWhat? Brenda wonât fuckinâ miss it.â
Shuffling out of the door, you and Ellie spot Mandy happily skipping away, and the sight has your friend scowling ad mumbling incoherently under her breath, âWhyâs she so fuckinâ happy all the time? Has she never dealt with sadness or hurt in her life?âÂ
Nudging her shoulder with yours as you both walk, you shook your head. âApparently not. Look at me, depressed as fuck.â
âSame,â Ellie looked at you before you both burst out into a laugh. âMan, if sheâs somehow done anything to be the reason Abby went missing, mâgonna kill her. You know that right? I donât care what you say, Iâll do it.â
âEllieââ
âNo, whoever took Abby from us, is going six feet under. You canât stop me.â
âLetâs feed you, that monster is hungryââ
âY/N, mânot joking, this isnât a jokeââ
âI know, and thatâs whatâs scaring me right now, Ellie.â
Pushing past you with a grumble at your words, Ellieâs quick to find a seat in the far corner, out of the way from people, and ushers you to hurry up. âIâll be right with you, Honey, just have to get a few orders out of the way.â The old woman smiled from behind the counter.
âNo worries!â
Unzipping your jacket, and placing it on the back of your chair, you sit down opposite Ellie and really look at her. Sheâs frowning, which means sheâs deep in thought again, and that only means sheâs planning something, something that you arenât sure is supposed to scare you or make you happy. The bags under her eyes are much darker than they were last week, so thatâs a clue sheâs not been sleeping no matter how many times sheâs told you she has been. Her lips are in a tight line. Even her smile lines are vanishing. âAnd then I thinkâ Why are you lookinâ at me like that?â She mumbled, catching you staring.Â
âSânothing, you just look exhausted,â You offered a soft smile. âWhat are we eating?â
âIâll just share with you, order whatever.â
Ellie was always a picky eater, well she says she is but always steals any of the food you make or buy, and went with something simple when it was your turn to order food; a bowl of chips, salsa and a chicken sandwich. ââAnd then we have the note, if that crazy psycho took the book out last week, then Abbyâs alive, which means she has to be here somewhere, and weâre just not looking hard enoughââ
âThe woman at the bar, who got me a beer, told me that we need to look closer, so you might be right,â You nodded, munching on your chips. âShe might know something, but doesnât want to get too close to it, I donât blame her, this whole thing has been freakinâ me the fuck out.â
âSo Abbyâs here somewhere?â Ellie took a handful of chips and ate them slowly. âThatâs what weâre going with?â
âYeah, but where? We know this place like the back of our hands. We would have found her already by now.â
âThatâs where mâconfused because I donât know. I have no idea where she could beââ
âY/N, Ellie! Iâm so glad I found you guys!â Brendaâs voice rings out.
The pair of you turn in your seats, and look at her with your mouths full with food, and staring like a deer in headlights. âBrenda, miss us already? Itâs been 30 minutes.â You coughed, swallowed your food and wiped your face. âWhatâs wrong?â You asked when you noticed her worried look.
âThereâs something you need to see, I havenât told anyone else yet, apart from you guys.â She rushed out, pulling a book out of her bag and placing it on the table. âI was going through them, like I always do just to make sure she didnât rip any of the pages, some people have done it, and I found this.â
âPride and Prejudice?â You blinked.Â
âJust look at the back. please.â
Looking over at Ellie, who was just watching with confusion written all over her face and still eating, you open the book and skip through the pages, until youâre on the last page before the back. âDid you hide spiders here? To scare me?â You laughed nervously.Â
âItâs about Abby.â Was all she could stutter out.Â
Once the words fell from her mouth, your hands dropped the book on the final page, and all of you looked down at it. Staring at it like the horribly written words were going to jump out of the page and eat you. âShe took this book out last week.â
MâŠ.Mandy
CrazyâŠÂ
Abby
âIs thatââ Ellie swallowed and locked eyes with you. âSheâs stillââ
âAlive.â
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âSo whatâs the plan?â Ellie mumbled into your ear, the 3 of you watching a very happy Mandy dancing with her friends, and snatched your beer from your hand. âWe corner her?â
âNot here,â You shook your head. âToo obvious. She would see it coming.â
âYou think she knows we know?â Jesse asked.Â
âI donât think so, If she knows that we know, I donât think she would have shown up tonight,â You grabbed a handful of chips and shoved them into your mouth. âBesides, this way, we can observe her, try catching her saying or doing anything that could expose her.â
âWeâve been looking through so much shit for the last month, why canât I just hit her?â Ellie grumbled and slumped in the chair like a scolded child with a pout on her face.Â
âLook what happened to Y/N when she went against a tree,â
âJesse! Stop bringinâ up that fucking tree.â You groaned and threw your head back.
âItâs funny!â He laughed.Â
âYour poor nose didnât think so,â Ellie cooed playfully and kissed your cheek. âDonât tell Abby, she will actually kill me for that.â
âLeave my nose alone!â
Amongst your conversation with your friends, you hadnât notice Mandy walking over to your table until she slid into the empty chair beside Jesse and thatâs when all the laughter died down. âWho died?â She giggled, words slightly slurred. âIâm just coming to see how you are doing.â
âMâgood,â
âBeen better.â
âI think Iâm gonna get another drink, Ellie? Y/N? You guys want anything?â
âTwo beers!â Ellie cheered.
Fumbling with the bowl of chips, your eyes flicker between Jesse at the bar, and Mandy who was happily sipping her drink through a straw, not worried about the fact you were either about to lose your shit, or throw a chair at her. âSo, howâs the search going?â
âSâfine,â You shrugged, not wanting to give her too much without her catching on that you knew. âKeep hitting deadends, but itâs fine besides that.â
âYouâre smart, youâll figure it out.â
Ellie makes a face of disgust at her, her need and want to just throw something at this girl gets stronger every time she opens her mouth with something ridiculous. âIs Jesse making the beers or something? Why is he taking so long?â
âEllie, half the town is here,â You laughed and threw a chip at her. âBe patient.â
âItâs hard to have that when you live here.â She grumbled and leant her head on your shoulder. âWake me up when heâs back.â
âYou got it, El.â You laughed.Â
You hadnât expected her to actually fall asleep, but when you feel her body slumping more into your side not even 10 minutes later, youâre quick to wrap your arm around her to stop her from falling off the chair and onto the floor. Nor do you notice the look of annoyance on Mandyâs face, still sipping her drink. âI would have guessed Jerry would have been helping you search for Abby. Did you say that was her name?â
The question catches you off guard, slightly offended she even thought of it let alone asked it; Jerry spent countless months of time over several months searching for her. Never eating or sleeping, he stayed awake in hopes she would walk through the door at any given moment. âHow long have you lived here?â You found yourself asking and cocking your head to the side.
âHow long have I lived here? Oh, since I was like 8 or 9. Why?â
âThen youâd know we look out for our own. Same thing happened when a little boy went missing for 3 days when I turned 16, we all went looking for him and brought him home when we found him. It doesnât matter if we have distaste or disagreements with someone, if something happens in our community, we help each other, we search, and we donât rest until we find them.â You explained slowly, eyeing her up. âJerry doesnât sleep, just because you donât see him asking every single person where his daughter is, doesnât mean heâs not looking. Jerry would kill everyone in his way to get to his daughter. Thatâs how much he gives a shit about her. We all do.â
âWould you?â Itâs like your words didnât phase her.Â
âWould I what?â
âKill someone to get her?â
Looking down at Ellie, your eyebrow raises just slightly, and itâs back to normal before she can blink and when you chuckle, her skin crawls. âSânot me they should be worried about. When we find whoever took her, mâgonna have to keep Ellie on a tight leash or sheâll be like a rabid dog looking for something to chew,â You paused and inhaled deeply when your eyes met. âBut I would, if you want the truth. I would kill anyone if it meant I could have Abby back.â
âDo you have it in you?â
âIf the right person fucks with my family, yeah,â The smirk you gave her caused Mandy to shift around in her seat comfortably. A sense of terror seeps into the cracks of her skin and travels up her spine. âI wouldnât hesitate to put a bullet between their fuckinâ eyes, unless Ellie gets to it before I do.â
âMake it seem like a horror movie.â She giggled.
âI think weâre scarier than anything in a horror movie youâve seen before, Mandy.â
On a note, she hadnât realised or seemed to have noticed just how bold and eerie you got when you would bluntly stare. Like Ellie, Mandy never understood what you were thinking about when sitting there, zoning out like a zombie. At some points she expects to start seeing cartoon bubbles with those pictures appearing by the side of your head. âWhatâs the scariest movie youâve seen?â
âThe life mâfucking livinâ. Thatâs what.â
âYour life isnât thatââ
A tray of beers enters your vision as you look up to find Jesse side eyeing Mandy, and then looking at a sleeping Ellie on your shoulder. âAt least sheâs sleeping. What were you guys talking about?â He asked, wrapping his lips around the bottle and gulping down the liquid.
âI was just telling Mandy that mânot afraid to kill whoever took Abby from us.â
âRemember when you tried to kill that guy who stole your chips a while back?â Jesse smirked, subtly waiting for Mandyâs reaction.
âFor stealing chips?â She choked out, pushing her chair out, picking up her almost empty glass and rising to her feet.Â
âOh yeah, the guyâs terrified of me.â You smiled.Â
âI would have been too if you tried to kill me for taking your chips. I need to get another drink. Speaking of, do you want more chips?â
âYouâre alright, your friends look like they miss youâ
âTheyâre all drunk, but Iâll see you.â
Once she left, you finally let out a laugh. âReally Jesse? When did I try to kill a man for stealing my chips?â You shook your head and took your beer.Â
âI tried to see if it would get a reaction out of her, not sure if it worked though,â He shrugged, once again taking a longer glance at Ellie. âHas she been asleep for a long?â
âNot a long time, but she just fell asleep when she came over here, I thought she was joking until she practically fell into me and I donât have it in me to wake her up, not when sheâs barely slept much since we started all this.â You murmured and rubbed her back slowly.
âI can hear you both talking, stop being so loud.â Ellie grumbled against your shoulder and peeled her eyes open slowly. âIs she gone? Can I get the fuck up now?â
âWere you fakinâ that?â Your hand slapped the back of her head gently; which she laughed at when she sat up completely. âAfter tonight, youâre getting at least 15 hours sleep.â
âSays you, you havenât slept in like 10 years.â
âI take naps when neededâ
âNot enough, those dark circles under your eyes finally match that bruised nose.â
âEnough with my nose! And the tree!â You warned when Jesse opened his mouth. âLet me live it down for fuck sake.â
âI donât think I can, the story was hilarious,â The brunette smirked, hands running down her face as she yawned into the palm of her hand. âSo, did she start freaking out when Jesse said you tried to kill someone?âÂ
âNot like we hoped.âÂ
Once the clock hit 11pm, Ellie was the first to notice Mandy slipping out of the doors, with a few of her friends following closely behind. âSheâs leaving, letâs go.â
âGo where?â
âFollowing her. She wrote the note, she doesnât fuckinâ read books, she canât even read the fact you arenât interested in her, and sheâs obsessed with you for a reason none of us know. She knows something, if you donât want to follow her, Iâll go alone.â Ellie rambled on and she jumped to her feet.Â
âLike fuck youâre going alone. Jesse open your mouth about a certain something, I will hit you.â You warned again, looking at him with a harsh glare. âNot a single word about it ever again, you guys got it?â
âI was just going to say that Abby owes you two kisses for the black eye you got.â He smiled innocently. âRisked your whole face for her. Props to you.â
âCan we talk about you and Abby flirting after?â
âRight, letâs go then.â
You kept your distance, not wanting to give anything away. A part of you did feel slightly uncomfortable with the fact you were literally following someone, but the other part of your brain was screaming at you. She knows what happened to Abby. She knows something. It wasnât like you could ignore that gnawing feeling in your mind. âWhat are we going to do if we find something?â Ellie asked, huddling close to you.
âI guess weâll cross that bridge when we get to it?â You murmured with each cautious step. âIf sheâs as crazy as that note proves then we canât just throw ourselves at her and attack her.â
Hiding behind the tree when she suddenly drops her purse, Ellie grabs onto the back of your shirt tightly as you all watch Mandy scrambling to pick it up and stumbling her way up the path towards her house; almost tripping over in the process and if it wasnât for the fact your hand quickly came up and cupped Ellieâs mouth, the laugh she let out would have gotten you all caught. âShut the fuck up.â You warned.
âYes, Boss.â
âEllieâs gonna be the reason we all die.â Jesse grumbled, sneakily running over towards the other tree that was closer to her house. âI think sheâs gone in the house now, you can move.â He waved you over, still looking at the window.
âDonât laugh, or youâll get us caught.â
âGod, I wonât laugh again unless she falls out of the fuckinâ door.â Ellie grumbled from behind you, still using your body as a shield. âOr hits a treeââ
âEllie, I will tie you to a tree and leave you out here. I said donât bring it up.âÂ
âCâmon, you and that tree have a pure love relationship now.â
âMâgonna tell Joel about what you did with that girl behind his house if you donât shut your mouth right now.â You warned, turning to look at her.
âYou wouldnât.â
âI would, now shut the hell up.â
Stalking up the steps quietly, you keep your hold on Ellie tight when she stumbles up one of the steps and Jesse was the one who had to place his hand over her mouth this time when she went to yelp. âDo not get us caught, Ellie, Iâll never forgive you.â
From here, you could see Mandy in the kitchen, filling her glass up with whatever she chose to drink tonight, taking a sip as she leant against the counter and her shoulders sagged. That sudden loud banging had you all flinching in your spots and Mandy straightened herself up. âQuit it! You do that all the fuckin time, itâs driving me nuts!âÂ
âSheâs already nuts,â Ellieâs voice muffled behind Jesseâs hand.Â
âShould have killed you when I had the damn chance, but no! Everyone gives too much of a shit about you!â
Carefully, without dropping Ellie or causing Jesse to fall over, your hand lightly grips onto the door handle, squeezing your eyes shut tightly as you turn it just enough to hear a soft click. âLetâs go.â You whispered, removing your hold reluctantly and stood up.
Pushing the door open wildly, Mandy stumbled back, almost falling over the table when You, Ellie and Jesse stormed in through her front door. âY/N?â
âWhere the fuck is she!?â Youâre suddenly in her face in a flash and fists balled up by your sides.Â
âWhat happened to not throwing ourselves at her and attacking her?â Ellie grumbled quietly from beside Jesse under her breath.Â
âI donâtâ I donât know what youâre talking about,â Mandy stammered, eyes wide and glossy.
âOh, you donât?â You laughed sarcastically and shook your head. âYou know exactly what mâfucking talking about.âÂ
âI really donâtââ
âYou can drop the innocent act, you insane little bitch.â Ellie seethed from beside you.
âY/N, I really donât know what youâre talking about.â Mandy sobbed, backed into a corner and not knowing an escape route.
Her breath hitched and she gasped when youâre suddenly gripping her face between your hands tightly; looking down at her angrily. Angrier than sheâs ever seen before. âNo? Then fuck what fuck is this?âÂ
The sheet of paper hits her square in the chest, and Mandy scrambles to catch it, her shaky hands fumble to open it, and as her eyes catch onto whatâs on the page, you finally see the way her jaw clenches and her face relaxes. âShe never deserved you,â She scoffed, finally letting her guard down. âThat stupid little bitch deserved everything that happened.â
âThe fuck did you say?âÂ
âShe had it coming. If she didnât keep taking you away from me, telling you to ignore me, blowing off our datesââ
âWe went on one date!âÂ
âA date she kept telling you to miss, always listening to her, doing what she tells you, with her out of the way I could have you to myself.â She grinned.
Leaning closer to her, you laughed in her face. âYou still have nothing,â You murmured with a grimace. âThis makes me hate you more.âÂ
âNo you donât, you donât hate me.â Mandy shook her head and plastered on a smile. âNo,â
âAre you fucking stupid?â Ellie blinked, eyes going between you and then Mandy. âYouâre fucking crazy, obsessive, who would love that?â
âDina loved you, didnât she, Ellie, takes one obsessive bitch to know another?â
âHey,â Jesse warned, stepping in front of Ellie. âKeep her name out of your mouth.âÂ
âAh yes, Jesse, the other one. How does it feel knowing she loved you both yet still broke up with you when she had her fill?âÂ
âShut the fuck up,âÂ
âWhere is Abby?â You glared and gripped her face harder. âTell me where she is!âÂ
âSheâs gone! She was never here, I took care of her for us!âÂ
âThere is no us!âÂ
The fact sheâs not getting it makes you more angry, angrier than when you found out Abby went missing. âBut, I did this for you? Why canât you see that? Why canât you see I do everything for you?â
âI didnât ask you to take my best friend away from me! Iâm asking you to give her back to me!â
âSheâs not here! Why would she be here?!â
âDo not let her move,â You told them as you slowly took a couple of steps away from her. âIf either of you let her walk out that damn door, mâshooting you both.â With the stare you were giving them, they both knew you werenât kidding. You were scary when you were angry, thatâs not a secret.Â
Wandering into the living room, the same one you ate fucking dinner in, you halted in your steps with your arms folded over your chest. You werenât sure what you were looking for, but as you glanced around the room, you couldnât exactly find anything out of the ordinary, or even remotely suspicious. Maybe you had gotten it wrong? You were so sleep deprived that anyone could have written the note, Mandy canât be the only one to write hearts next to her name, right?
You were about to give up on this crazy plan; the crazy plan of yelling and screaming at Mandy until she told you what you wanted to hear, when the faintest scraping sound had caught your attention. It wasnât loud, but it was loud enough that you could hear it from where you were standing. Your eyebrows furrow and your body turns just slightly, head pointing in the direction of the cabinet opposite the bookshelf. âWhatâs that noise?â You asked to no one in particular.
âWhat noise?â Ellie quipped, cautiously keeping her eyes on Mandy, who was still slumped against the counter, and occasionally over to you where you stood. âI donât hear anythingââ
There it was again, the slight scraping sound, but only this time itâs a little louder.Â
Before you could take another step towards the cabinet, Mandy was suddenly moving around and pushing herself in front of you, but you werenât focused on her face, no, you were more focused on the gun pointed at your fuckinâ face. âI canât let you go through there,â She chuckled and rolled her eyes. âIf you just stopped looking, stopped asking people, begging people for help, then this wouldnât be happening. I did this for us, for you, why canât you see that?âÂ
âYou took her from me, from us, why would I love you for that?â You scoffed, stepped a little closer. âIf youâre gonna shoot me because I want to find her, then donât be a goddamn pussy and shoot me.âÂ
âSâŠShoot you?â Mandy stammered, quickly shaking her head. âNo! No, I donât want to shoot you, I love you!âÂ
âY/N,â Ellie warned, trying to figure out a way to help you, get you away from her. âY/N.â
âLet me have her, thatâs all I want, please justâ I need Abby, pleaseâ You begged, eyes fluttering closed as you felt the cool metal on your skin. âI just want my Abby back.âÂ
âThereâs no Abby left to bring back.â
âI really hate when people lie to me,â You whispered so quietly that she almost didnât catch it. âLiars are one of the worst things in the world, stop trying to piss me off even more.â
Youâre not sure what happens, one second youâre all standing there, and the next Ellieâs jumping at her, putting herself on the line to simply help you. âEllie!â You growled, watching her practically pushing Mandy onto the floor, the gun still safely in her hands.
âNow is really not the time to question what mâdoing. Go get her!â
Quickly, you manage to rush around the commotion, and slip back into the kitchen; keys, surely she keeps keys around here somewhere right? The kitchen is cold, plates in the sink that havenât been touched in weeks, and your mind starts to wonder again as you look around. Could Abby really be here? Locked away without any sunlight? What if she was here but itâs too late?
Pulling open one of the drawers, you let out a sigh of relief once you spot a set of keys, way too many now that you look at it. Who needs that many if they donât have secrets theyâd rather stay locked away? Snatching them up and slamming the drawer shut again, you stumble your way out of the kitchen.
Jesseâs already pushing the cabinet away, a metal door hiding and tucked away perfectly behind it, when you also happen to glance over to see Ellie was standing over Mandy as you walked back into the living room, the gun now in her hands. âGo, I can look after Ellie, make sure nothing happens.â He groaned, slumping against the wooden cabinet.Â
âAre you sure?â
âYes, go!â
With trembling hands, one by one, you slot the keys into the lock; cursing and muttering under your breath when certain ones donât unlock it. By the 7th key, the lock falls and you suck in a deep breath. Anything could be waiting for you on the other side of that door. Your life is already on the line, whatâs one more to the list? So with a final sigh, and groan, you pull down the handle and pull the door open. The loud screeching of metal rings through your ears and sends a shiver down your spine.
The coldness washes over you quickly as you look down at the steps leaning into the basement once the doors open. You glance over at Ellie, Mandyâs still kicking at her legs, trying to get up and you send your friend a reassuring smile before making your way down into the dark and eerie room.
Thereâs no windows, you notice that quite quickly first, theyâre all boarded up. No one would hear you if this entire plan goes to shit, Mandy somehow locking you up in here. Not a single living soul outside of this house would be able to hear your screams and cries for help. Not even the animals or insects living right beside it.
Tucking the keys in your back pocket, you step off the last step and release yet another sigh. Itâs colder down here than it was opening the door, you think to yourself. To your left thereâs a table with an endless supply of books, weird. Moving towards them with caution, youâre quick to pick up on all the torn up papers, the pens scattered along it. Picking up one of the notes, youâre in no luck when you find thereâs nothing on there, yet another mystery in your endless supply of wonder.Â
To your right thereâs another small room. You look at it for longer than you like, wondering who would need two rooms in one, until the gentle scraping catches your attention again as you went to turn around. It sounded like chalk on a chalk board, thatâs the best way you could describe such a sound, maybe it wasnât exactly lose to what you can imagine, but itâs the best you got.Â
As you got closer, you noticed the smaller padlock on the door, keeping whateverâs hidden, hidden.
Pulling the keys out of your pocket, youâre shaking even more when you look through them to find a key much smaller than the other ones, one thatâs dainty and could hide anywhere if it tried harder enough.Â
The lock drops and you start to notice your hands havenât stopped shaking, but now itâs starting to get uncomfortable, and uncontrollable for you to deal with. Sliding the lock, you press your forehead against the door and take a deep breath. Was this how it ends? Was this going to lead you into yet another deadend? Was Abby really gone and you were going to be stuck down here with some crazy psycho?Â
âLet go of me!â You heard Mandy scream from above you. Ellieâs words being screamed angrily right back at her.
With a final sigh, you pull the handle down and pull the door open.
If Abbyâs not here, and this is just me falling into a trap, let everyone know I tried.
Itâs dark. You canât see anything. Turning your head, you notice a small light switch just beside the door, covered in mould and dirt, probably not the best idea to put your hands all in it, but you do it. You flick the switch and the light loominates the room and thatâs when you notice it. You finally see it.Â
The figure curled up in the corner of the room, holding themselves until whatever nightmare theyâre able to get out of. Taking a singular step into the room, you crouch slowly, ignoring the throbbing pain in your hand as you reach it out and gently touch their shoulder. âMânot gonna hurt you,â You reassured just before they flinch at your touch with a pained whimper head whipping around and tired blue eyes meet yours.
The sight causes your breath to hitch and heart to thump loudly in your chest.
âAbby?â
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Jerry, who was smiling and cooking something for dinner as the music on the radio played quietly, almost fell to his knees the second the door opened to reveal you, Ellie, Jesse and Abby.Â
âMy girl?â He whispered, not wanting to be loud to the point it might scare her. âAbby,â He breathed out when blue eyes met him. âOh, baby.âÂ
Guiding her towards the table carefully, you gently helped her sit down, but not before her hand tightens around your arm when you went to walk away. âMâjust gonna run you a bath, youâre cold and you need to be warm, Iâll be right back, okay?â
Abby simply nodded slowly. Almost like she wasnât even there.Â
âHoney, I can make you something else to eat? You donât have to eat this but,â Jerry trailed off, watching the way Abbyâs simply still looking in the spot you once were, yearning for you to come back already. âAt least drink something for me?â He frowned, pulling his hand back quickly at the sight of Abby flinching and pulling her hand away when his goes to touch hers. âI wonât hurt you, baby girl. Iâd never hurt you.â
You come back no later than 15 minutes. To her thatâs still too long.
Abby didnât move an inch or speak once the entire time you left to run her a bath. She was still sitting silently on the chair, not touching the food her Dad had plated for her, and left the glass of water in Its original spot. âAbby?âÂ
Her head turned slightly, the most movement sheâs done since she got home, and looked right at you. Her eyes looked dull, emotionless but stood up slowly when you held your hand out for her. Taking your hand, Abby doesnât look back or spare a glance to anyone in the room as she leaves. Itâs quiet, too quiet but no on can blame her, sheâs been in a room for god knows how long, they understand that this is going to take some time to adjust.
By the time you made it into her bedroom, youâre quick to scoop up the fresh clothes in your free hand, the other still holding onto hers tightly as you guide her into the bathroom. The same bathroom that thereâs a warm bath ready for her.
Placing the clean folded clothes on the toilet, you looked over at Abby, who still has yet to talk, was facing away from you, looking at the water. âThereâs clean clothes here, if you need anything else, donât hesitate to ask, okay?â You smiled. âIâll give you some privacy, Iâll just be in your roomâ Abby?â Her hand reaches out for yours, grabbing you tightly and keeping you there when you turn around to leave. âHey,â
âS..Stay,â Her voice cracked, but kept her grip firm. âS..Stay, please?âÂ
âOkay, of course, mânot going anywhere,â You promised and cautiously stepped closer to her. âLetâs take this off, yeah? Youâre probably not warm enough.â As you went to unzip the hoodie she was wearing, her hand stopped you again. âSorry, habit,â
âItâs n..not the same,â A sob slipped out and she shook her head. âNot the same,â
âWhatâs not the same?â
âIf I take it off, youâre g..going to find it disgusting,â
âI could never think that of you, Absâ
After a few minutes, Abby nodded reluctantly and let you unzip the jacket fully. It only took a few seconds for you to stop in your tracks and understand what she meant once the jacket was off and she was once again facing away from you. âAbby,â You gasped.
You remember the times you would spend laying on her bed, with her snuggled in your chest, and threading your fingers through her hair, braiding it, playing with you. It was all gone in an instant. Gone just like she had once been. This Abby was left fragile, so thin, pale and terrified. âI..Iâm disgusting,âÂ
Walking around her until you were face to face, you held back a frown and gently cupped her face between your hands, your heart shattering into pieces at her flinch. âWonât hurt you,â You whispered, wiped away the tears that fell and kissed her cheek. âYouâre here with me, youâre safe, and Iâll never hurt you,â Slowly, you brushed your finger across her cheek, and smiled when she carefully leaned into your touch. âYouâre beautiful, youâve always been beautiful.âÂ
Abby doesnât believe you, you can tell by the way she shakes her head, cries harder and holds onto your arms tightly. âMâscared, mâso scared.â
âI know, Love, I know, but I wonât let anyone hurt you again, I promise, I promise I wonât.âÂ
By the time Abby managed to get into the bath, with the help from you, she cried at every touch, rubbing her eyes harshly each time you rubbed the shampoo into her hair, mumbled about being sorry that she couldnât stop squirming and with every reassurance from you that it was okay, it made her chest heave and cries louder. You didnât ask her what happened, you know that when she was ready to talk about it, you would be there to listen. Guide and help her when needed.
Rinsing the final suds of shampoo from her hair, or what Mandy left of it, you smiled softly when her eyes fluttered open and found you. âHi,â You pressed your forehead against hers and brushed your thumb over the side of her neck slowly. âYouâre getting warmer.â You murmured. âWeâre almost done.â
âPromise?â
âI promise, Love.â
Abby was clad in some of your old clothes, curled up in your side on her bed 15 minutes later. Her hand gripped the back of your jumper tightly, face buried deeply in your chest as you drew random patterns along her skin beneath your clothes. âMâglad youâre here,â You whispered against her forehead. âI never stopped looking for you, I hope you know that. You can tell me what happened when youâre ready, mânever gonna rush you to talk about it, but know that weâre here for you, and we just want to keep you safe. Weâre ready to talk when youâre ready.â
All Abby could do was nod.
The door squeaked and opened to reveal Ellie, clothes dirty and hair slightly ruffled, as she stepped into the room with a fresh plate of food in one hand, and a drink in the other. âHey, Abs.â She smiled, placing both on the nightstand before sliding onto the bed beside her. âI know you might not be hungry but, I brought you some food, Jerry practically rushed me to bring it to you.âÂ
Abby curled more into you and buried her face in your chest with a smile tugging at her lips. âHow is she?â
âWhat did you do?â You asked, ignoring her question and noticing the red stains on her shirt instead.Â
âI took care of it, she wonât hurt Abby or anyone else again.â Ellies eyes didnât leave Abby as she spoke. âStop, I took care of it, like we promised. We keep each other safe.â She sighed once she noticed your look. âAbby?â
âMhm?â
âCan I cuddle you?âÂ
Turning her head slowly, Abby looks up at Ellie for a couple of seconds before nodding. Lying down on the bed further, the Brunette carefully places her arm over Abbyâs waist and cuddles up to her back, while Abby places her head against your chest again. âMâsorry it took so long,â She mumbled into Abbyâs back. âMâso sorry.â She kissed her head and held her tighter.Â
Leaning your head down, you pressed your lips against Abbyâs forehead, stroked her arm comfortingly and smiled when she held onto you a little tighter. âYou can sleep now, weâll always keep you safe, Baby.âÂ
One secret revealed, another buried and hidden.Â
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#â âź â â đ«đđČđ«đđČâđŹ đđđŻđŹ â#.....so i went a little over board.#this is probably my longest reblog in vifilms' history.#when it got so long i just opened the reblog and typed it in docs.#but wow.#i love you.#this is insane.#and by insane....i mean insanely amazing.#i will never grow tired of reading this fic.#the way you have expanded my perspective of writing with this wonderful piece of fiction needs to be studied.#everything about this is just too intriguing.#you are amazing and you deserve to be praised and celebrated.
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So I woke up to 100 followers this morning, and I was really surprised.
THANK YOU!
Iâm still learning my way here, but hopefully Iâm getting better.
I know people on all different platforms do celebrations like writing prompts and stuff, but a) Iâm a slow writer and b) Iâm lazy. So I thought, now might be a good time to release this:
TO YOU I BELONG
SNEAK PEAK
Chapter 1 coming 21/02 đŠđșâ±ïž
Pairing: Alpha!Dean x Omega!Reader
From Chapter 7: Honeydaying
Sitting on the edge of his bed, hunched over, arms leaning on his thighs, Dean twisted the small pill bottle in his hands, listening as each tablet fell to the bottom. There werenât many, six at most, and they rattled around in there, waiting for him to open the lid and take one out.
Or man up and throw them in the trash like heâd planned.
The problem was, he knew how his body would react to not taking the daily suppressant. Heâd experienced it before. And if his inner alpha was overprotective of you now, it was about to turn into a possessive dick the second the drugâs effects wore off in T minus twenty-four hours, if heâŠ
No.
Not if.
He was doing this. He was gonna claim you and make you his.
Which is why even though the trashcan was only three feet in front of him, he still sat there unmoving from the memory-foam cushioning his assâŠ
Fuck. Why was this so hard?
He put the pills down on his bedside table and leant back into the mattress, fishing his phone out from his jean pocket. The denim hugging his hips was too tight, and he had to lift himself up a few inches to yank the device free, unlocking it with a couple of taps and a swipe up.
His fingers continued to work the touch screen, locating contacts, flicking down to the letter J, and hitting the green call button. At least there was one thing he wasnât hesitating over.
He heard the click and a familiar voice fondly speak his name before heâd even brought it up to his ear.
âDean Winchester.â
âHey, Jody. Howâs it going?â Dean stood up off the bed and moved to the closet.
âGood. Although Iâm a little surprised to hear you ask me that.â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â The door creaked in protest, as did his back, though it cracked more than creaked when he arched over to reach his green duffle heâd thrown on the floor after the hunt in Iowa. The couple of weapons he hadnât bothered to put away hit against each other as the bag swayed and gravity played with their weight.
âJust that you donât call me unless you need something or someoneâs dead. Oh god. Is Sam okay? What have you boys gotten into now?â
âAlright, first off, thatâs insulting.â He emptied the contents onto the bed, pulling out a shirt that had wound its way around his shotgun. âAnd second.â He brought the fabric up to his nose for a sniff test. It needed washing, or burning with added salt. The remnants of nameless monster guts clung to the collar, and he didnât hesitate to throw it out. Those pills though... âEverythingâs fine. Sammyâs alive last time I checked.
âI wanted to know how you were. Whatâs wrong with that?â He caught the phone between his neck and shoulder, freeing his hands up to open the chamber of his prized weapon. The racking was rather loud when he closed it back again, and he grimaced. Jody was going to notice that.
âNothing,â she said. âBut thatâs not why youâre calling.â
Why did he attract people who could see right through him? âWell, ah, to be honest, I need a favour.â He took a long breath in, preparing himself to deliver his news. âI met my soulmate andââ
âWhat?â Her high-pitched squeal had him dropping his shoulder and her. âAre you sure?â
Seriously! Itâs like she was trying to cut him deep. âWhat do you mean, am I sure? I know my own damn initials,â he shouted down at his phone. Luckily, it had only landed on the bed. He did not have the patience or time to get a new one.
He ditched the shotgun and picked up Jody, bringing her back to his ear.
âSo youâre no longer running solo, huh? Finally claimed someone! What are they? An omega, a beta? Or another alpha like you?â She chuckled. âIâd love to see that.â
âBitch.â
âDude. This is Jody.â
âSheâs insulting our mate.â
âNo, sheâs insulting you, you dick.â
âAh, an omega, and I havenât claimed her yet,â Dean said, cringing when his inner alpha interrupted him again. His eyes searched for the pill bottle and gave it a once over. No, no. This was gonna be hell, but heâd grin and bear it. âThatâs why I was callingââ
Main Masterlist
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@reluctanthalfwayoptimism @supernotnatural2005 @jackles010378 @kaz-2y5-spn @applelovesposts
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If youâd like to be added to a Taglist for this series or for any of my other Dean works, please lmk or add yourself HERE
#coming soon#sneak peak#alpha dean winchester#omega reader#omegaverse#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester x you#Dean x reader#dean x you#Dean Winchester#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester fic#fem reader#spn fanfiction#spn reader insert#spn fanfic#to you I belong#multi chap fic#thank you#100 followers
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Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 25
Summary:
Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?
Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.
Harvey and the babies come to visit and more than just one couple is having thoughts about newborns
AO3 Link
Previous Chapter
âHow did my beautiful fiance sleep?â Jake whispers, kissing the back of my neck. It had been a week since his return and we were still in a blissful bubble, spending as much time as possible wrapped up in each other outside of work.Â
âHandâs asleep,â I mumbled, turning to face him. âSomething heavyâs on it,â I put my left hand on his chest, admiring the ring there. The heirloom was perfect and it meant so much to me that pops had chosen to give it to me, that his whole family had schemed to make the proposal special. Everything about our engagement was perfect.
âHow many mornings in a row are you planning on using that same joke?â Jake slid a hand beneath my shirt, fingers splaying across my back. He was looking at me like I hung the stars and the moon in the sky, like I was his entire universe, and I thought back to the days where I wasnât sure if Jake was flirting for the hell of it and wondered how I could have been so blind to the love in his eyes.Â
âAs many as I damn well please,â I arched to kiss him, tasting the mint of his tooth paste. He must have woken up earlier and crawled back in bed with me so that I wouldnât wake up alone, something I hated to do after being without him for so long. Jake hummed into the kiss, rolling me onto my back. My sleep pants were already abandoned on the bedroom floor thanks to a middle of the night quickie, and it was easy for my panties to join them there.Â
âI love you,â Jake whispered, fingers sliding between my folds, igniting the fire within me that burned for him. He swirled his fingers around my sensitive bundle of nerves, pulling needy noises from me. âAnd Iâm gonna marry you.âÂ
âIâve still got, oh my god,â I moaned as Jake began slowly working his fingers inside of me, âStill got time to run away at the altar.â He rolled his eyes,Â
âI run faster than you, Iâm not worried.âÂ
âAsshole,â I laughed, pinching his side. It was nice being able to love and laugh at the same time, his fingers never faltering, preparing me to take him. âIâd have Javy trip you, give me a head start.â Jake shook with gentle laughter,
âYou think my best friend would betray me like that?â My response was cut off by a moan, feeling Jake push into me, filling and stretching me. No one else had ever felt this good. Maybe it was because Jake was extremely good looking and knew what he was doing in bed. Or maybe it was because I loved him just as much as he loved me.
âHe would,â I rocked my hips, urging him to move. âBecause his girlfriend would be my getaway driver.â Jake kissed away my giggles as he fucked me and we took turns expressing how much we loved each other. When he came, it was with my name on his lips and I swallowed it with a kiss, loving the taste on my tongue.Â
Tasha was on my shoulders, taping up the birthday banner. Harvey, Emma, and the girls were going to disney for Sarahâs birthday and had decided to stop by for a day to celebrate the day before.Â
âIs it straight?â Tasha asked, stretching for the corner, testing my own balance. I tried to look but felt my center of gravity shift and decided that a crooked banner was better than an ER trip.
âIâm sure itâs fine,â I walked us back towards the couch and slowly lowered us until she could climb off of my shoulders.Â
âThereâs going to be beer involved at some point today, right?â Tasha pouted, âBecause Iâm really hoping thereâs beer involved.âÂ
âJakeâs bringing the beer,â I promised, kissing her on the cheek. âJavyâs getting the balloons, I already made the cake for tonight. All we need to do is get lunch prepped and get ready.â I had everything planned out on my phone for the day, not wanting to waste a minute of time with my nieces, even though I knew theyâd be happy if I just sat them in the living room with a Disney princess movie and a trough of candy.Â
âIâll leave lunch to you, unless the little monsters want burnt pasta,â Natasha gently elbowed my side with a grin.
âShut up and shower,â I rolled my eyes. Little monsters. That girl loved my nieces and I had a sneaking suspicion I would become chopped liver the second they saw her. Auntie Daisy was cool and all but Auntie Tasha? She flew planes for a living and was sooooo much cooler (according to Sarah at least). Once they got their adorable hands on her, my only hope for love and affection would be from baby Jill.Â
âAuntie Tasha!â Sarah screeched, dropping Harveyâs hand and flinging herself at Natasha. Javy and Jake both looked confused and amused by the display of affection,
âAuntie Daisy!â Haley ran forward, attaching herself to my legs like a koala bear. âWeâre going to see Mickey!âÂ
âYeah you are,â I scooped her up into my arms, kissing all over her face before settling the giggling toddler on my hip.Â
âYou must be the boys dating my sisters,â Harveyâs âbig brotherâ voice had me biting back a laugh, âPilots, right?â I rolled my eyes, looking at Emma who just shrugged, patting baby Jill who was in one of those swaddle-carrying things on her chest.
âJake Seresin, itâs nice to finally meet you, Harvey.â Jake turned on the charm, offering a handshake, âSorry I couldnât make it to Christmas.âÂ
âWait, heâs a pilot too?â Sarah whispered unsuccessfully to Natasha and I couldnât hold back the laughter anymore, neither could Tasha apparently.Â
âThey both are, little monster. But donât worry, Auntie Tashaâs still the best pilot in the world,â She glared at Jake when he opened his mouth to disagree.
âWant Tasha,â Haley tugged on my shirt. It was nice while it lasted, I let her down and watched as Natasha effortlessly picked her up and placed her on her other hip, opposite Sarah. I looked at Emma,
âItâs good to see you but I fear weâve been forgotten about,â We did a side-hug around Jill.
âItâs been a long car ride,â Emma sighed, rubbing her forehead. âIâve heard âmomâ so many times that Iâm happy to be forgotten about.âÂ
âWhy donât you go up to my room and have a few minutes of alone time? Iâll take Jill and get you once the girls are ready for lunch.â Emma grabbed my cheeks with both hands, bringing my forehead within kissing distance,
âYouâre an angel, I married the wrong Prentiss.âÂ
X
Harvey was nice, quickly changing from trying to be a protective big brother to laughing and joking with Javy and I about everything from our jobs, to sports, to Natasha and Daisy. Javyâs attention kept drifting to Natasha, who was sitting on the couch with both of the older girls glued to her side, watching something animated on the TV. Daisy was in the armchair with Jill on her chest, humming softly and kissing the babyâs head.Â
The images I had imagined of Daisy with a baby while I had been reading her letters on the ship were nothing compared to seeing it in real life. She looked so perfect, I mean, she was always perfect, but it was clear that Daisy loved her niece and the idea of her with our kid? That was a lot to handle, especially surrounded by kids and her brother.
Daisy looked over at me, cradling Jill with one arm, her other hand reaching out to me. I excused myself from the conversation and crossed the room to squat down beside her,
âHi, baby,âÂ
âHey,â She smiled softly, whispering. âJust wanted to give you a quick kiss.â Who was I to deny her? It was chaste and short but it still had my heart kicking into overdrive.
âDo you know what youâre doing to me with all of these kids, Wildflower?â I whispered, gently running my fingertips over Jillâs arm.Â
âTrust me, Cowboy, Iâm struggling just as much as you are.â Really? Interesting⊠I kissed her cheek, whispering into her ear so that only she could hear me.
âAll you have to do is ask, Daisy.â Daisy swallowed hard, her cheeks burning red. âAnd it looks like weâre not the only ones thinking about it.â Daisy turned her head, biting her lip to keep from giggling when she saw the way Natasha was eyeing Javy like a piece of meat.
âOur kids can share birthday parties,â She teased softly. I could imagine it, Javy and I grilling hotdogs and hamburgers while little kids ran all around, Natasha and Daisy keeping an eye on them, making sure everyone was having fun. The rest of the daggers would be there, hopefully with their own kids and partners, and Mav would be trying and failing to hide his excitement after buying a totally over-the-top present that Penny told him not to.Â
âI canât wait to marry you,â Is all I said in response, kissing her forehead before standing back up, âDo you need anything?âÂ
âCan you heat up lunch? I want to get everyone fed so we can take the girls shopping.âÂ
âYour wish is my command.â
Next Chapter
Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @nervousenemyduck @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @hookslove1592 @closetspngirl @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @closetspngirl @shanimallina87 @owenniasstars @cevansbaby-dove @caitsymichelle13 @bigstrongblackheart @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @memoriesat30
#bet writes#top gun maverick#top gun fanfiction#jake seresin#fanfic#jake seresin x oc#hangman x oc#wildflowers for a hangman fic#natasha phoenix trace#natasha trace x javy machado#natasha x javy#coyote x phoenix
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ïŸïœ„đâ§âËâż» awkward little sister who cringes at the vulgar words her Confident Older Sister uses. Older Sister who knew youâd never had any sexual experiences, the way you dressed proved that much. never worrying about a prying eye.
ïŸïœ„đâ§âËâż» you're still wearing knee-high socks, slouchy cut-up tees, push-up bras, those fucking sleep shorts that barely covered your ass. it felt like she seldom saw you in anything else. Older Sister who loves to feel, and watch her little one tremble as she closes in with the blatant confrontation of her secret admirer.
âcome on, bunny. donât tell me you havenât thought about me looking just for me to not feel, lick, and suck on your soaking cunt.â
ïŸïœ„đâ§âËâż» you were expectedly speechless, the only reaction was shallow gasps that pushed your chest closer to hers. there was no way out of this corner, she could almost hear your heartbeat sloshing in your ears, squirming away as you felt her finger loop around your bra strap.
ïŸïœ„đâ§âËâż» it happened in slow motion, her coy smirk, reeling back and popping it with enough intensity to feel the silence afterward cling to your skin. tears welled in your eyes, the sting radiating around the small piece of fabric making your skin red.
ïŸïœ„đâ§âËâż» she was always being cruel, just to wipe your tears and walk away without apology. âi see how wet you are in those pajamas when you bend over sweet girl, itâs not just âa littleâ, either.â
ïŸïœ„đâ§âËâż» Older Sister who wanted to imprint this moment in her mind, your mind..the sight of you just so meek, you could feel her peering at you, looking for something hiding behind those pretty tears, something moreâŠneeding.
there it was. your legs crossed.
âtell me that you want me. tell me about the writings in your diary, your dream journal, that secret stash of paintings.â
âwhat in the hell are you talking about? how many times have you gone through my things oh my god iâve never painted anything theres no-â
her hand slinked its way up to cup your face, cooing while her fingers massaged your ear. teary-eyed and pouting as your head felt like it practically dropped into her touch.
âyou donât have to be so anxious, sweet girl. just say it, and Big Sister promises sheâll give you everything and more in that pretty little head and closet.â
âi donâtâŠ.ive never-â
lips brushing along your jaw
âtell me, princess. tell Big Sis.â
âi cant stop thinking about You.â
The Perfect Cue, Too Perfect.
Attack.
#venas flora#floras faunađïžđ#<- click to see my concepts!#fauxc3st#siscon#siscest#big sis lil sis#1cky sister#1cky big sister#momcon#dadcon#fauxcest
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Adam doesn't know how Lucifer did this every night, check all windows to be sure they are locked, check front and back door for being locked and then make sure the security system was working.
And if he leaves the house for any reason, do it all again. But this was only something he did at night.
Adam liked the guest room, surprised a little that Lucifer even had one but maybe it was just to fill the room. The bed was so comfortable, he practically melted into the bed.
When morning came Adam felt so good, that bed did wonders for him. Going down he nearly started to laugh a little, he's never seen Lucifer with his hair messed up sticking out at odd angles and some drool dripping down his chin.
Poor guy must have really needed the sleep. But something about him looking like that endeared him even more to Adam.
Cute.
Lucifer started to wake up, he felt so good when he opened his eyes he was confused as to why he was in the living room.
Oh yeah. Broken leg.
Not his first one but still. He's lost track of how many things he's broken......
Adam: Morning Lu!
Normally he'd panic, but seeing Adam standing there in pajamas, hair messed up and a wide grin on his face made him stay calm and his heart fluttered at the sight of him.
He stayed.
Lucifer smiled: Good morning Adam, did you sleep okay?
Adam: Best fucking sleep ever! Okay, so how do you normally start your mornings?
Lucifer: Well..... Normally I'd just, make my bed, clean myself up and then eat.
Adam: Okay sounds good!
He brought Lucifer everything he needed, he opened specific curtains to let the right amount of light into the house.
Adam made him breakfast and they ate together. It was so nice.
Lucifer got him to get a change of clothes from his room, just a pair of shorts for on the bottom just the thought of trying to put pants on with this cast would be a nightmare.
When Lucifer changed his shirt Adam couldn't help but nearly drool at how nice he looked without one. He wasn't just some small thin guy there was some muscle there too.
Lucifer: It's just very odd not getting up and doing everything myself.
And he was likely not going to do anything too much for himself for a couple months.
Adam: I'll try and make everything be as if you did it!
Lucifer: A-and you're sure I'm not keeping you from anything important?
Adam: Pfft, no. The only thing I have is work and my boss is super understanding.
Apparently his boss Sera was quite familiar with Lucifer being brought into the hospital. He used to be a frequent flyer.
Maybe Adam will have a peak at his medical record. Just to get a sense of how bad things really were.
Lucifer: I-I-I don't want to burden y-you.
Adam smiled and gently took Lucifer's hand in his: You're not a burden. As my neighbor and friend, you matter to me more than you know.
Luicfer's face warmed and his heart fluttered, he mattered? His eyes teared up a little, no one's told him that before.
Adam hugged him as he cried a little.
Lucifer: I-I'm sorry
Adam: Shhh, it's okay let your feelings out.
That made him cry more, he's never had someone validate his feelings. Always forced to keep them to himself and God forbid if he didn't.
They broke apart when he stopped crying.
Adam: I just gotta go next door and grab a few things okay? I'll be right back.
Luicfer: O-okay.
He flushed as Adam wiped his tears, he was too good to him.
-
Alastor sat out on his deck reading the morning paper with his coffee when he heard the door open.
But Adam didn't come out of his house, rather he came out of Lucifer's of all places. He gripped his mug, that charming little bastard even when he's in his fucking house all day he pulls people in.
He made a promise to Lilith that he would keep Lucifer's life Hell and it was one he intended to keep.
Trapped Heart
@beef-brisket
â ïžThis deals with Agoraphobia, anxiety, depression, and mentions of domestic abuse â ïž
-
Adam: Well that's the last of them.
He looked around his new home and smiled, this place was so much better than his last home and a third of the price too.
They were practically giving it away.
There was his lawn mower that was on the truck still.
Adam went out to put it in the garage when he noticed his neighbor, a short blonde man getting his mail from his box. He was better looking than his last neighbor.
Adam waved: Hey!
Lucifer jumped as he grasped his mail, he looked over and saw a handsome brunette standing in the driveway across the road smiling and waving.
Lucifer: O-Oh, hi!
Adam: Names Adam, I just moved in.
Lucifer: N-nice to meet you! I'm Lucifer, I hope you like it here.
He wanted to be polite and welcome his new neighbor right, but he could already feel the cold tendrils of anxiety start to slowly crawl through his skin trying to wrap around him like a vice grip.
How long has he been outside? His heart started to beat a little hard with each moment he's not back in his home. He could die! He's not safe he needs to get back!
Adam: Yeah me too.
By the looks of it he already likes what he sees.
Lucifer nodded, he could feel the tremors starting in his hands the palms getting sweaty.
He needs to go.
Lucifer: I-It was nice to meet you Adam! B-But I need to get going.
Adam: Oh okay, maybe we can hang out sometime?
Lucifer gave a tight smile: Y-yeah.
He waved again to be polite and tried not to run back to his house, his therapist said it was good for him to be out as long as he could stand it.
Pushing himself a little each day. Today him reached his limit.
Once his front door was closed and locked behind relief washed over him, he's safe now nothing can hurt him. He hugged his mail to his chest, he needed to sit down.
Lucifer went over and placed everything on the coffee table. He tried to remember his breathing exercises.
Adam seemed very nice, maybe he'll send Charlie over when she comes to give him a proper greeting.
-
Adam tilted his head as he watched his new neighbor go into his home, if he didn't know any better he would say the man was panicked. Did he do something? He knows his personality can be a little brash at times but he thought he was being polite.
A man that lived beside him came out for his mail as well.
Adam: Hi! Umm, I'm new here.
Alastor: Oh hello! I'm Alastor, I guess that makes us neighbors.
Adam chuckled: Guess so. Umm, if I may ask, is the man that lives there okay? I didn't intend to upset him.
Alastor looked over at Lucifer's home and rolled his eyes.
Alastor: Getting the mail was he? Don't worry about it that man's afraid of his own shadow. I wouldn't waste my time, he never leaves his house.
Well that sounded a little dramatic.
Adam: What?
Alastor leaned on the fence: Oh yeah, Mr. Morgenstern over there never leaves his house. Rumor has it that his wife used to beat the fuck out of him in the home but it was worse when they were in public. Apparently she'd just humiliate him and others would join in making things worse. He was never free of her but at least in the home he could be alone.
Adam was horrified to hear that: Dude, the fuck, is that true?
Alastor shrugged: Not sure. All I know that is true is she left him nearly 8 years ago and he's become some kind of hermit that never leaves the damn house. His daughter Charlie, sweet girl you'll likely meet her, comes over from time to time.
Adam looked over at Lucifer's house, that couldn't all be true right? Maybe some was and the rest is telephone gossip extras?
Him and Alastor parted ways, he had to put everything away in his house. All the while his mind kept going back to the handsome neighbor across the way.
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Guys, should I write and post a multi-post long rant about solar x eclipse x nexus-? Cause I have IDEAS
(I genuinely need to get into writing again, just for them)
#Eclipse x solar x nexus#EclipseÂČ#Nexuschips#Solarnexus#Nexus x eclipse#Astro rants#Guys#Should I?#I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god
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how im feeling abt 34 + some faroe au doodles
#i have so many thoughts on malevolent rn#and my aus#begging everyone to come send me asks i just fucking love talking about it#but oh my god. in shambles#i love my little johns#malevolent#malevolent podcast#john doe#john malevolent#arthur lester#arthur malevolent#faroe lester#faroe malevolent#the butcher#dennis collins#privateeyes#daniel malevolent#the king in yellow
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youve heard of sex flowers get ready for the flower that makes you into a celestial shoujo herione complete with particle effects you cannot turn the fuck off and creates a wifebeam so powerful it can incapacitate and maim and keeps making you burst into tears and fall on your ass which makes the wifebeam More Powerful and you also cannot turn this off either. and is also still, sort of, a sex flower
from one of my favorite fanfictions, Celestial Afterglow by elanor_pam, a fic that defies description in the best possible way
#arts#shen qingqiu#svsss#listen im not saying that ive spent a cumulative half a year reading this fic and then trying to make an arts for it#and then getting frustrated and stopping because i couldn't figure out how to make sqq shimmery enough#but like. im not NOT saying that#this is the FOURTH time ive started something for this bitch it haunts my fucking dreams and yet the opalescent glittery sqq evades me#perhaps you o unlearned fool look at this and say hmm that's too many colour layers and glowy effects but oh how wrong you are#if it doesnt make you literally fall over yourself at how otherworldly and radiant he is then there is room for improvement yet#perhaps you look at this and you think Wow!!! this gives me literally NO ideas what this fic is about#well Let Me Tell You. i have no fucking idea how to summarize this fic#its not often the tags in a fic give me pause but i saw this and as i read the tags i was increasingly just like What#but i have no idea how to describe it. the tags arent NOT accurate but i was SO unprepared for what happened in like an extremely pos way#if i were tagging this i think i would give it the no archive warnings apply label if that matters to you#the author seemed they wanted to leaned towards over caution rather than risk missing anything re tags because This Is A Weird Fic#but oh my fucking god#i am gripping you by the shoulders i cannot stress enough how charming it is#brilliant characterization especially with airplane in the first scene#and also so much fucking funnier than i thought possible for the general setting summary tags and buildup#its just. ough. its good
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getting emotional over the fact that mr reca really would guide you, just as a good director is supposed to, but would still retain the authority to make executive decisions if he felt your choices were not beneficial to your film (life) or your growth as an actor (person)
#mr reca x you#mr reca x reader#i love him i love him i love him so fucking much#iâm going to cry like actually i am so goddamn emotional over him right now itâs not even FUNNY#iâve been having a MELTDOWN over this man all fucking day#so anyway#i have so many fucking thoughts about him but iâm trying to post them in a timely manner instead of just spamming#oh my GOD i love him#the point here is that daddy is still The Boss at the end of the day#heâll allow you to make your own silly little decisions and learn from your silly little mistakes and cheer you on throughout it all because#he loves you SO much but at the end of the day he has the final say#his word is LAW as we have heard <3#inky.reca
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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"Angry robin" "violent robin" "misbehaving robin" shut up and accept my alternative; spunky Robin. Determined and head strong, can out-stubborn the Batman, has a strong moral-backbone and does what he thinks is right regardless of what anybody else says, Robin. Jason who was sassy and quippy and made crude jokes with a smile on his face. Jason who hid in Bruce's cape and whispered gossip to him. Jason who, if Bruce refused him something, could keep bothering endlessly until Bruce caved. And also dramatic Jason. If Bruce tells him no, it becomes a whole theatrical show; a monologue, a narration, embellishments, and falling onto the floor in his grief upon the fact his cruel father has denied him once again.
(Jason who has suffered through abuse and homelessness and poverty and starvation, who is the Fight out of Fight or Flight, who's built up defenses and walls and when pushed and triggered responds with the thing that's always protected him; anger. He's sweet and kind and funny, and when he sees a pimp hitting a prostitute he gets furious and responds with violence.)
#my dc posting#dc#jason todd#jaybin#im having so many thoughts abt jaybin and he is so important to me#in one fic he went on a hunger strike bc alfred didnt eat w them and did it for so long they had to compromise#i love a jaybin 100% willing to menace and bother batman until the man folds. as is his right#the thing abt jason's backstory is that it shows him unwilling to suffer for a home#ma gunn's is bad; he gets beat up and she tries to get him to help rob a place. so he leaves! and rats the whole thing out to batman#and shows up himself cus he didnt think he had been believed#and lets not forget the fact he hit batman with a tire iron and called him a 'big boob'!#the boy's got moxie!! let jaybin be crass and angry and sassy and flawed and traumatized without reducing him to 2d caricature of a 'troubl#d kid'#i dont like a jason who did nothing but use excessive violence and disobey orders and be cocky and all that shit#i like a jason who was. oh yknow. a complex person!! a child/teen who has been fucking abused!!!#you shouldnt erase the fact that jason's reaction/response to stressful situations and triggers IS anger#it's not an indication that he was always gonna become a criminal/red hood or whatever. get outta here w that shit#but like. let us not go so far in the other direction we forget to have him react and be affected by the abuse he's suffered#anyway. if anyone should be a drama-queen it should be jaybin. once he becomes truly comfortable w bruce he should dial it up to 11#a lot of red hood's appeal (to me&many others) is that he is an 'imperfect' victim. meaning he is angry and flawed and doesnt suffer quietl#but is loud and obvious abt it#so when i see jaybin written as the opposite its like. man whats that about#anyway. jaybin is good and cares and wants to help and protect people. and by god if i ever see anybody writing#him having arguments with bruce about the no kill rule WHILE robin again im gonna throw hands istg-#my tags are like a hidden treasure box. most of what i say is in here lmao
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i think im way more attached to bacon then i expected bc of everything in that entire convo, the way kab treated and talked to/abt bacon got me closest to crashing out LMFAO
#lifesteal spoilers#crit#???? idek i wanna tag it to be safe#bc like oh my fucking GOD#bro sets a single boundary and suddenly its âi dont even wanna be teamed w him i cant believe he said thatâ#like dawg no wonder nobody fucks w you when that is ur reaction to ur TEAMMATE having his own thoughts & feelings#people dont Not work w you bc of ur reputation#in fact many MANY people were happy and willing to work w you to fight mane!! u got the server to double tab list w ur efforts#it was gen very impressive and cool to see#but u constantly treating those closest to you poorly generally dissuades people from wanting to associate u#like look at Any other person who has an untrustworthy reputation like spoke clown or ro#people say not to trust them for varying reasons whether its spoke bc he is spoke. ro bc he will betray u for mapicc.#or clown bc he will Always prioritize himself over even his own teammates (whether its his own safety or his beliefs)#people are still happy to team w them and like work w them in spite of whatever reputation they have bc theyve proven to be worth working w#whereas kab is so all over the place that she isnt consistent enough to trust and work w bc one day she cares abt spawn#the next shes griefing it#one day she cares abt âfreedomâ and âanarchyâ#the next day shes not giving people the choice to go against HER ideas#one day shes a self proclaimed pacifist#the next day shes killing 3 heart chungus players#she is the one who painted her own image; how can she fault others for not liking what she has shown them of herself?#okay sorry ill stop now. the tag monster is back at it again LMFAO
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in stars and time is ruining my life what do you mean i'm at 28 hours played and still don't seem to be near done yet when the average person on howlongtobeat finishes the main story in 19 hours, and with side quests in 26 hours.
what do you mean i've stayed up until 4am the past 3 nights playing. what.
#i am NOT DONE WITH THIS GAME YET#NO SPOILERS!!!!#i'm fucking obsessed and insane about it oh my god#i have so many theories#i have so many... thoughts#i just. i dont know. theyre all in my head#also i took one look at isabeau and was like#oh this is why kinning exists#yeah#hes just like me fr#for anyone curious im on act 4#with 133 loops
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