#I have reasons but damn it comes off edgelord now

[socra-time]

Socra’s Naruto liveblog, Ep. 61-70

Ep 61:

-I genuinely could not be less impressed by Kabuto as a villain

-lmao I like that Kiba is fully a Naruto fan now

-yeah I have no idea what the FUCK Naruto is gonna do to win this match because Neji is clobbering him like there’s no tomorrow

-ah yes, Naruto just “willpower”s his way through Neji’s supermove

-okay so I don’t agree with Neji trying to kill Hinata but I really wouldn’t mind if he killed Hinata's dad

-yeah uh FUCK the Hyuga clan and FUCK Hinata’s dad

-so obviously Neji’s story taking up such a big chunk of the episode makes sense narratively but within the context of the show itself, he’s just monologuing to Naruto for like 10 minutes lol

-wow Neji’s father’s death was some fucked-up shit

Ep 62:

-ohohoho really feeling the irony of this fight

-okay Hinata definitely doesn’t have a happy relationship with her dad, but Naruto saying she’s probably suffering as much as Neji is uh… incorrect

-Neji honey I’m so sorry, if you were fighting literally any of the less-important characters you would’ve won this fight

-Naruto is going APESHIT

-but also yes so true Naruto, please change the Hyuga clan and also beat up Hinata’s dad after becoming Hokage

-DAMN Naruto coming through with the uppercut

-between this fight and Naruto’s fight with Kiba, I’m really not sure how intelligent I’m supposed to think Naruto is because he’s supposed to be kinda stupid but he also is good at deceiving his enemies in fights????

-honestly for some reason I don’t feel super good about Naruto’s victory and I’m trying to figure out why. I think it’s because I’m not a fan of the “insane superpower MC has because they’re the Chosen One” trope that came into play with the Nine Tails chakra. Also I feel bad for Neji… but I guess in a philosophical sense he needed to lose this one to disprove his whole “fate” thing

Ep 63:

-awwww Naruto getting appreciation from the crowd was nice

-why didn’t Hinata’s dad give Neji the letter earlier???????

-nah it’s still FUCK the Hyuga clan

-also I still don’t like Hinata’s dad. I don’t care that he apologized to Neji and that Neji’s dad chose to die; he still talks about Hinata like she’s worthless and he just kinda let Neji suffer after his father’s death for almost a decade. Also he doesn’t seem to have done anything about how fucked-up his clan is

-god, knowing that Neji dies is making this episode HEARTBREAKING

-I know Kankuro withdraws for strategic reasons but also if I were him I would’ve withdrawn anyways because I am NOT fighting motherfucking Shino

Ep 64:

-the implication that Temari was just gonna clobber Shikamaru with her fan like a baseball bat if he hadn’t dodged her attack is pretty funny

-Shikamaru I like you but also I am side-eyeing you very hard right now. Gonna need Temari to beat the sexism out of you

-I love Ino she’s so silly

-why didn’t Temari just blast Shikamaru while he was thinking

-also why didn’t she just knock Shikamaru’s parachute out of the sky

-anyways good for Shikamaru but also I’m gonna need him to learn how to not be sexist

Ep 65:

-I don’t think I like Asuma’s voice

-I missed Lee so much, I’m glad he’s (kinda) back on his feet

-I love how some of the spectators are fully just betting on 12 year olds beating each other up

-also why is Naruto just allowed to be down on the field

-I don’t like Sasuke’s new outfit. Leave the onesies to Gai and Lee, Sasuke.

-Lee is really selling himself short, my poor son:(

-aaand Gaara’s kill count increases once again

Ep 66:

-time for the ultimate edgelord-off

-I feel bad for Sakura, Kakashi’s kinda been neglecting her

-I fear Lee is better than me because if Sasuke just copied the techniques I worked for literal years to develop I would be PISSED

-noooo Kiba you were so close to figuring it out-

-god the sharingan is so broken

-Gaara used “Harden”! It was super effective!

Ep 67:

-oh boy shit’s gonna go down this episode

-well damn Sasuke can lightningbend now I guess

-okay so Kakashi says he taught Sasuke the chidori because “he’s like me”. The question is how? Just because he’s really good at fighting and has a lot of chakra? Like yeah they both have the sharingan but that doesn’t seem to be related to the chidori????

-Gai and Kakashi need to stop throwing shade at each other and kiss already

-sometimes the animators draw Sasuke’s side bangs really thick and long and it looks so weird

-geez so I know I said it was off-putting to see Gaara look shaken when Lee took his weights off but hearing him screaming is a whole other level

-the sound design seriously popped off this episode

-aaaaaand shit’s going down

Ep 68:

-goddammit I think I finally have to admit that I was wrong about the Hokage being sus

-geez Gaara is really going through it

-anyways I totally called the Kazekage being Orochimaru in disguise. It took me a couple episodes but I figured it out. Also what happened to the real Kazekage?????

-god Orochimaru’s theme goes so hard

-I love how Kakashi tells Sakura to wake up Naruto and Shikamaru but doesn’t say anything about Choji or Ino

Ep 69:

-I kinda love Pakkun

-yes go Shino, go get your screentime

-I have seen WAY too much of Orochimaru’s tongue already

-so Orochimaru can just casually do necromancy???????????????????????

-so I’m guessing the third person Orochimaru summoned would have been the Fourth Hokage then

Ep 70:

-the animation of everyone jumping through the trees is so funny

-why didn’t the squad just have Naruto send out a bunch of clones to throw their pursuers off their trail

-I like the derpy-looking face on the back of Pakkun’s vest

-oh shit Asuma to the rescue! It’s nice to see one of the other senseis kicking some ass

-(for a moment I was excited at the potential for seeing Kurenai also kick some ass but then I remembered that she’s a woman and therefore is not allowed)

[sharonisthebettercarter]

we need to talk about common comic opinion for the boys

so i read the comics.

was curious for a while, buddies wanted to do it, finally bit the bullet and MAN OH MAN~<3

there's common opinion that swirls around from people who *have not read the comics* need i remind, an opinion that they are merely *meaningless edgelord drivel* or the like.

i'm here to bust that misconception, smack it upside the head and drag it around the fuckin' town and kick it till it's caved in because it couldn't be more *wrong* if it tried.

first thing i'll say is that the comics *don't* compare in what you'd call 'gratuitous edginess' to the show. while they have their 'bit on the nose moments', they're drawings that go panel by panel. even what they *could* show wouldn't compare, and it honestly doesn't. (coming from someone who's also watched the show too many times over now and got a nice fresh read in)

robin's death is more brutal *in the show*. there is more blood and gore. *in the show*. the arguably edgiest thing between both of them is a guy exploding another guy from inside his urethra, which *only happens in the show*

and for those that have no clue about the big twist or comics homie and try to make blocks of analysis for a character they have zero actual information or decent research on.

homelander is worse. *in the SHOW*.

granted, both have similar enough structure with reversed character development/reveal, but i digress

butcher is just THE biggest fucking bottom by the way, lord satan i CAN NOT with that boi--

anywho~<3

the 'meaningless' part? well that's just a big fat lie and i'll say it up front. that shit needs to stop. this thing was definitely an emotional rollercoaster, and while it may be true that it's not for everyone, it was far from meaningless and actually brilliantly written and even researched.

it's raw, it feels real half the time, it teaches valuable lessons, and even when you're in the notion of 'okay, where is this going, it's sus', when you stick with it? you get rewarded fucking beautifully.

there are moments you'd disagree with the characters actions in a way that makes them feel humanly flawed. of course they might do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing, so do real life humans?? there are cross cultural miscommunication references and conversations that show ennis knew what he was doing and why he did it a certain way. and yeah, it can be too much to handle for some,

*but if you honestly feel that way you shouldn't be watching the show either*

and here's what it's not.

meaningless, ill-thought, pointless, edgelord drivel.

it *is* an intricate and well done, brutally *honest* creative critique of the *military industrial complex*, *corporate capitalism*, and a couple other things expertly squeezed in. even touching on *abuse* and hitting all the right spots for how it can psychologically fuck with people. the ending punches you in the fucking feels as you could appropriately expect it to with a hard side of begrudged satisfaction.

good fucking satan these things were an excellent read that compelled me to want moar from start to finish, and yeah, if you have watched the show then i *highly* recommend them because the important topics and themes touched on are presented much better in the comic, even with the sometimes wonky ass art in place of hawt actors to distract you, lmao

but seriously? the lot of you that keep spouting nonsense from your clenched up assholes without actually bothering to look at the source material need to stop. all you're doin' is actin' damn fools and showing off high and mighty opinions based on complete mis-education if not un-education.

and f.y.i.... also being the damn fools both the comics AND show make fun of.

so remember that line billy says?

'but the main reason you don't hear about it is cause the public don't want to know about it.'

that's y'all. legit, at this point. more specifically, y'all would be the 'public' that wants to live with rose tinted glasses instead of acknowledging that reality is more brutal than we often want to see or admit.

why else would you keep denouncing and dismissing the comics and source material of something you allegedly love?

because some other schmuck on the internet said a lie, gave you hearsay, or a rumor they heard through a grapevine on a game of telephone that said it wasn't worth looking into yourself?

well i'll call bullshit on that straight up but what are y'all so afraid of??

couple other things i will say, if you hate butcher for being the biggest worldclass cunt, you will absolutely feel vindicated and have your feelings or possibly lovehate boner (like mine~) completely validated with what happens in these comics (and if i'm being honest about the direction of the show, weeeeelllll...~<3 lemme not tho lmao<3 still def the biggest bottom, out bottoms hughie by far, i wanna see him get railed by vas/love sausage)

i will also say, billy is 100% wrong in the comic and the show is slowly but surely unraveling that truth there as well, if it's not clear enough by now. what he does isn't for becky/becca, and definitely not for ryan either. it never was.

it's for his father, no i will not elaborate cause read the damn comics. (but also, people need to stop fucking forgetting that HUGHIE is the *actual* good guy here, not billy... billy is a bad guy... billy is objectively worse than homelander in many MANY canon ways and remember that reverse character development i mentioned--.)

contrast, if you *love* butcher, you will likely be disappointed in the show, but the comics will help prepare you for it (they also make too many things CLEAR)

unfortunately, you do not get sweetheart noir in this and while i love his show counterpart, bearing with cunt 9000 noir is worth it. (it also sparked fic ideas for me cause why not both~<3)

LOVE SAUSAGE IS UNREAL AND PERFECT~<3<3<3 if nothing else, comics love sausage at least deserves your full attention.

homelander's as always is a fun boi, show homelander by comparison is basically *final stage* comics homie (full throttle evil berserk type shit/just before it hits) take everything you thought you knew about (comics) him, and throw it out the fuckin' window.

boi does some fucked up shit... and ALSO has fucking mental breakdowns and visceral reactions like throwing up to doing evil shit because he literally can't stomach it and is trying to convince himself that he is the bad guy because he's been gaslit--.

and i'ma stop there. read the fuckin' comic if you actually wanna know just how deep that homie rabbit hole goes.

and i will absolutely use the idea of him having legit *adverse reactions to doing evil shit* in a fic because FUCK. YES. that was a sad but lovely detail and would make for a perfect fuckin'a alibi<3

anywho~<3, if you recognize he's a victim in the show? the comics. read them cause OOOOOHHHH--.

[queervegancryptid]

all work and no play makes me a dull, miserable shell of a nonbinary trans boy. i guess.

TW: mention of animal de4th, su1cidal ideation, and just a fuckton of general self-hatred

i woke up today feeling like i could barely walk. i wanted to go back to sleep, but my body hurt too badly. so i got up, turned on the water heater, fed the cat, waited for the water to get hot, ran half my bath, waited another 20 minutes for more hot water, and added bubbles and epsom salt.

the good news is, i felt better afterwards. the not so great news is that i've still been in so much pain all day that i haven't been able to do anything other than lie on the couch.

shadow, my cat, i adore her and know she loves me, but... i feel like a fucking dick because being around her reminds me of snippet, so i find myself avoiding her a lot. a whole lot.

i would never neglect her or any other animal. but she's so loving and affectionate, and for some reason, all i can think about is death.

and i don't mean in an edgelord, look-how-dark-i-am kind of way. i mean i genuinely see death everywhere and would very much like it to stop. it's worst with her for obvious reasons, but it's pretty pervasive. it feels like the concept just sort of draped itself around me and refuses to let go.

i hate being here. we can't afford to move, of course, but i hate being in this apartment so much since snippet got sick, and it's somehow worse now. and everyday, several times a day, i get this gut-wrenching feeling, and i just think, "i wanna go home."

except i'm already here. and because of the pain, especially today, and not to mention the fact that it's summertime and i live in florida and don't drive, it's like i'm trapped here.

i'm so tired of feeling like this. i don't want to die, but sometimes that's all i can think about: there's no escape, i have this eating disorder garbage in my head damn near 24/7, and everywhere i look, i'm reminded of snippet and everything that led up to her death.

i don't want to die. but i can't live like this anymore. it isn't fair to shadow or my partner, either. for a long time, i've felt like i didn't matter, and lately, i feel like i just make everything i touch worse.

i don't know what to do with this feeling. i'm tired of crying. i'm tired of being bitter and angry. to top it off, i feel less attractive and less capable than ever, which is saying a lot. simply put, it's hard to justify my existence. everyone around me deserves better, and i don't know why i can't seem to shake this.

my partner doesn't understand fully, but he's incredibly supportive and does everything he can for me. shadow doesn't understand, and i can't explain it to her. i'm loved. i should be happy. i want to make things better, and i don't know why it's so hard. they both just deserve so much better than i feel like i'm capable of being anymore.

i'm just in a really dark place lately. and i remind myself a lot of my mother, which is just... i feel like throwing something, which is what she would do. i feel like screaming and crying and yelling STOP, but what am i even yelling at? myself? my mind? my mother's disembodied spirit?

all i know is, i can't go through anymore death right now.

snippet died because she got cancer, then passed away in bed next to me and my partner less than six hours before a vet was to come and put her to sleep. i hate myself for not being able to save her, and i hate myself for not being able to give shadow the attention and affection she so clearly wants and deserves.

i hate myself for having an eating disorder and i hate myself for not wanting to recover. it feels like no matter what i do, i can't stop making things worse.

i just want my life back.

[crimsonxe]

Here’s a bit of newflash to a particular Fixing RWBY up-his-own-ass moron, which isn’t even coming from me specifically but is a common thought among horror/thriller writers in approaches to invoking the horror element:

- Thing not shown or shown here and there sparsely/vaguely triggering the idea of the unknown (and utilizing the viewer/reader’s own mind against them via filling in the gaps with their own concepts of horrifying things)

vs.

- Choosing to show the scary thing clearly and repeatedly thus making it blase. It’s actually an area where a lot of horror movies stumble by trying to show how badass and cool their creature is. Some can pull it off, but more times than not it falls short.

The first is generally viewed as the far more impactful and horrifying route.

Now in RWBY v6′s case, it might’ve been purposeful or might’ve been unintentional, regardless having Adam briefly pop up in front of Blake in v6 only to disappear till later is far more terrifying. It leaves filling in the gaps to the audience of what creep-ass shit he was up to. Removing that element in order to try to give an edgelord piece of shit more screen-time as a “big powerful edgelord male” is completely and utterly dumb af. Not even diving into how it’s set up in Fixing RWBY runs against the damn show where said scenario puts to the side the female MC’s to boost up screen time for male characters in a show that from the start always puts the female MC’s front-and-center.

One of the reasons RWBY is as successful as it is, because finally female badasses that are put at the front of their own series that aren’t fanserviced and don’t have the screen-time taken to put towards male characters. So Celtic once again shows how that side of things never were in alignment with RWBY.

Once again I say that Celtic can go fuck his own obnoxious ass with his piss-poor idea of RWBY. What he wants isn’t RWBY, its some dumbass male-focused shounen series that boosts up the male shitlord characters for him to latch onto like the pathetic and disgusting sack of shit right-winger he is.

[arcadejohn127-9]

Call me the flash because of how fast I’m asking this! XD

Anyways, how do you think the boys would all react to a MC who HATES Valentines Day because their former boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other dumped them on Valentine’s Day?

Damn we got a speedster over here! Someone call the justice League, you're missing a super XD

As someone who just generally dislikes valentine's I feel like this will go very well~ though seeing as alot of my prompts are the boys and them are already in a relationship - I decided to add abit of ✨ oof✨ to this prompt

Lucifer:

Not a big Valentine times day fan either

Ever since the Devildom was introduced to the holiday he wasn't a fan

There was no such thing as love in the air

But then you came into his house; he still finds it stupid and doesn't get the hype but having you around makes me him wonder if he should do something

When he found out you hated valentine's Day he felt relieved

But because it was because of a past lover???

He sees this as a challenge; you really think he's going to just brush this off?

When valentine comes you are greeted to roses, chocolates, wine and a fully prepared meal for you two

"Is this fitting enough for the holiday? I heard people tend to go overboard these days."

"You know I didn't want to celebrate today-"

You frowned, slowly coming to sit with him at his desk which has been turned into a makeshift table with cloth covering it

"And let some mortal spoil such an occasion even with your present partner? Think of this as your first steps of Getting over them."

"I'm mortal, Lucifer, don't say it like it's something insulting."

He jabbed his fork at you, raising a brow

"You're avoiding my point, don't you wish to move on?"

"I- of course....I'm happy with you."

"Then dig in, I made it myself."

You huffed, digging In but soon found yourself wrapped up in how delicious it was

He raised his wine glass to you, silently gesturing for you to do the same

"To a new meaning to valentine's."

You hesitated but repeated his words

Your glasses clinked and that was the first sign of your relationship becoming stronger

Mammon:

Active lover of the holiday and celebrates every year - couples want gifts and he can get money aswell as the fact he's a romantic

So when he found out you hated valentine's; he had to change that even when he found out why - that reason just made him annoyed that you were still hating on the holiday

"yo! Yo! Yo! Guess who just got money~ this guy so that means I'm treating ya!"

"oh? How comes?"

"It's valentine's! And you're the person I'm spending it with!"

"you know I hate it-"

He huffed, puffing out his cheeks

"And I'm going to make you stop hating it, was that ex of yours really so important you don't wanna spend valentine's with me?"

"It's complicated, I just really hate it now, it's attached to bad memories-"

"then let's change that! Make some good memories so you can stop being a grump on the day of love."

He grabbed your hands, giving you puppy eyes

You were utterly helpless to them and let him take you out

He stole a heart balloon and tied it to your wrist, doing your initials on it in Sharpie with a 'x' between them

He did definitely treat you; buying you chocolates, a teddy bear, the two of you matching keychains and many other items

You let yourself be happy as he got excited, dragging you around to every shop either of you looked at, wanting to get more matching stuff

He definitely made your valentine's a positive one

Levithan:

Hated it

His reason was because he was always alone for them, never getting anything and ending up never giving anyone anything because he believes they'll hate it

He felt Insecure that you seemed to still be attached to the breakup of your ex

Fearing that you could be missing them

You both spent valentine's as a couple but mocking and booing at others

At one point you threw Chocolates you didn't like at a overly touchy demon couples from a window

"Do you still think about them....?"

"Who?"

"Your ex, you're not over your breakup with them and we've been spending Valentines being bitter."

"I thought you enjoyed being bitter about it."

"I do but could you answer my questions, please - I know I'm not much and I'm sure they were so much better than me but maybe we could spend a little bit of valentine's together as you know....a celebrating coup-couple."

He was completely blushing, hiding his face behind his arm hoping his rambling didn't completely ruin your feelings towards him

"If you really want to, I don't have any feelings for my ex and it's just that reflection that sticks with me but, I wanna try if it'll make you feel more secure."

You guys ended up watching 'normie' movies, cuddled in his bathtub bed eating what was left your chocolates

You kissed his jaw and he immediately stopped functioning

You smiled, holding him closer

Perhaps valentine's can be a good time

Satan:

Casual valentine's man

Doesn't really care for the holiday and only has spent it with his brothers

He's use to just giving his brothers a small gift and never have a partner to spend it with

But things were different now and sadly, you hated the holiday

He respected your reason why but he felt worried that you were fully over your ex as you still let the holiday be ruined for you

He got you a small gift like he does his brother's

Wanting you to be apart of it but not doing anything big

"happy valentine's, I know you don't celebrate it but I thought you'd like the gift anyway."

"Satan....I didn't get you anything- Let's go out then, I'll treat you."

"I'll consider it a valentine's date."

Whilst he normally had a 'meh' feeling to it, he wanted to spend his first valentine's with you on a date

He just wants the experience and can say he's spend it with you

Even if it was a one time thing

"really Satan?"

"Let's spend this one together and be happy, next year we can go destory things and let out our anger towards the world."

That won you over, you agreed

You took him on a date

You both tried to ignore all the decorations everywhere but that was pretty hard, got lunch together and even walked around to see the new sights

You ended up in the park, staring to the horizon with confetti on your backs and Satan with a party hat

It was forced on him whilst you guys were out but he never got rid of it

"I liked today, maybe after we destory things we can go on another date next year?"

Asmodeus:

He LOVES love!

Nothing brings him more joy than valentine's

Aphrodisiacs are being sold EVERYWHERE

When he found you out hated it he was so upset, he wanted to spend it with you! His usual valentine's crew was nothing compared to you!

And you hated it because of an ex dumping you?!

"Noooooooo! (Y/N) don't let them ruin this for you, please, let's go on a cute picnic or even just stay in room if you don't want to go outside-"

If anyone saw asmo hugging your leg whilst you trudged down the halls, they definitely didn't say anything

"Let me spend today how I want!"

"what? Eat ice cream and get grumpy over someone you're not dating anymore?"

You frowned, knowing he was right

"why not spend it with your gorgeous boyfriend instead? Don't I shine up on your day?"

He had those Puppy eyes again

You finally stopped trying to get away from him, crouching down and cupping his face

"will you let go of my leg if I say yes?"

He nodded

As soon as he stood up you helped him straighten up his clothes, fixing his hair for him

"I'm sorry for dragging you around the house, I know I shouldn't be moping but it just really hurt."

"I know, darling but let's get through this together, we'll do whatever you want."

He was being honest; you were in charge of the whole day

You stayed in his room, having a romantic bath and then ate your feelings

After that you both went out and enjoyed dinner

Life really was happier with him; you decided you'll be doing with him more often

Beezlebub:

Mainly focuses on family valentine's

Has had to play a few sports game on the holiday and every player got a kiss and gift from a cheerleader

He liked the thought and always liked it when he was given food

But he wasn't interested in any of them

Or really the holiday itself, he always wants to share his love for the people around him

Why wait until some holiday to do it?

But when he finds out you hate valentine's and it's because of your ex

He considered fighting your ex

Doesn't want to force you to celebrate with him but wants to be able to do stuff with you

"Wanna go out to eat? They have valentine's day deals."

"i don't really feel like taking any part of it."

"I want to spend today with you and don't like seeing you being upset over the past."

"You just want to eat? No surprise dates or big deal about today?"

"no, just want to hang out with you."

"....okay."

He immediately took your hand, taking you to the restaurant he saw online

On the way we got you a magic rose

Handing it over for you to wear

But other than that he stuck to his word,just having eating out with you and didn't even talk about the holiday

You smiled but apart of you did feel bad you were going to stop something like this from having because of your ex

You felt the rose, looking up at him

"Want to take a couple's picture? They're doing it for couples celebrating today."

"we don't have to, you don't like today."

But you insisted, letting him pick you up for the picture and kissed his cheek

You were able to get the picture in different sizes and he put the small one in his wallet

From then on you planned to keep spending Valentines with beel

Belphegor:

Absolutely disgusted by it

Will always tell anyone how much he hates it

But on the other hand, he watches romcoms and yells at the TV for the chatacters not understanding they love each other every valentine's

He's just trying to keep up his edgelord persona, okay

When he learned you hated valentine's he was happy

Means he didn't have to do anything

But it's because of your ex?? He's now going to be romantic as FUCK

You enter the attic expecting to find a chill place to rest but instead there are rose petals everywhere and belphie laying waiting for you

You expected something like this from asmo but you couldn't deny seeing your boyfriend try to be romantic whilst half asleep was pretty cute

"I have romcoms and violent horror movies, pick your flavour."

"what's with all this? You know my feelings about Valentine's."

"I'm not going to let some pathetic ex ruin this valentine's for us, so I'm romancing you - is it working?"

"I'm picking the horror movie."

You put the dvd in ignoring him

"That doesn't change the mood for me."

You should of known

You cuddled and watched as people got ripped open and blood went flying

Belphie wiggling his eyebrows at you whenever an couple came on

You just shoved his face laughing

You forgot your bitter feelings and looked down at your now asleep boyfriend

"thanks for today, maybe you can try again next year."

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Thrilled by it all!

It's so heart warming to see love be so celebrated

Demons were always so violent and everything had to be edgy - he was tired of it

Was disappointed you hated it, he already had plans for the both of you

But after finding out the reason - it seems all his scheduling was back and the gifts became more grand

"Trust me, I'll change your mind on Valentines! We're together now and I want to treat you to a date."

"but why? I don't wanna take part-"

"We are going to get through your heartbreak together! I know things can still sting even when you feel over it, so let's just try."

You thought it over, nodding

He just grinned, taking you by the shoulder and led you to the royal carriage

You struggled to sit down when it was filled with gifts and flowers

They all had your name on them and immediately blushed

You should of known he'd go all out

He took you to see the Devildom at night, where all the lights covered the streets like stars

He set up a picnic in the park and you both ended up dancing in the water fountain

"I really enjoyed today, thank you."

He kissed your cheek, telling you not to worry

Barbatos:

Isn't a fan of all the decorating and cleaning up that'll be involved when the day is over

But he gets time off to de-stress and that's always a plus

He was thankful you weren't a fan of Valentines but your ex? He might have to write them out of timelines

Understood you just had a sting from it all and was use to feeling that way

Was surprised when you were one to actually make the first move on Valentines

"I wanted to give you this, I don't want to celebrate but I thought this could be nice?"

It was a pocket watch with a hidden compartment, it had a picture of you and him

Good thing he also got you something; a locket with the same picture you have him

Was it an accident? On purpose? He'll never tell, he just knows it's your favourite picture of you two

"I see, then we won't celebrate it but I'm sure you would still be willing to accompany me in the gardens?"

Takes you on a boat ride across the lake even better as it's sunset and the water looks immaculate

Cooks you both dinner and you just spend the day as if it was any other

"I like spending Valentines with you."

"I would hope so or I would fail as your boyfriend."

"I wanna spend the next one with you properly."

"As you wish, I'll be sure to make it the best one you've ever experienced."

Solomon:

Forgets holidays

Always likes bringing up history facts about any holiday as he's seen them all evolve from one part of history to modern day

Pretends to not know how to celebrate it so people will try to explain it to him and end up not really knowing why they celebrate things

You hate Valentines? Doesn't care but it's because of your ex? That he doesn't get

"So you're still hurting from your past relationship that you don't want to spend valentine's with your boyfriend?"

"when you say it like that it sounds really bad."

"I'm not really up for celebrating so it makes no difference to me but I'm not sure I can accept you still letting them upset."

You sighted, knowing he was going to make up some sort of plan or trick

But instead he just kissed your hand

"let's go to the human world, I heard there's a traveling fairground."

You agreed to go, both of you making it there in seconds and of course everything was heart themed

You couldn't escape the love

It was actually really fun! There were bouncy castles, a Ferris wheel and lots of food stands

You were definitely willing to celebrate again if it was going to be like this

Simeon:

A day of love? It's Charming

Finds it amusing how people can much such a big deal out of it all

Though he thinks you should always be expressive of how much you love the people around you

So you hating it was an opposite to him but he was respectful

Knowing it was because of your ex made him displeased

Whilst very understanding, wanted to atleast improve your opinion on the holiday so you didn't associate it with them anymore

"Let's just do one couples related thing today then we can do whatever you please."

"but why? I should be allowed to dislike what I dislike."

"you're absolutely right but you're letting an ex ruin a whole day for you, don't you want to spend it with me?"

"of course I do! I'm just unsure."

He smiled, grasping your hands

"that's fine, we won't do anything big, just a fun date and then you're free to do as you please."

He was right, you didn't do anything big

Just went to a pottery class and you made all sorts of clay creations together

It was peaceful and there was no Valentines being forced down on you

You giggled when he showed you the clay heart he made

"we should make this our thing, valentine's we do things like this together."

He agreed, happy to make Valentines whatever you wanted it to be

[dalekofchaos]

Harbinger and The Illusive Man

Something I think would’ve fixed Mass Effect 3 while also keeping the plot and the dynamic of The Reapers and Cerberus as the main threat is making Harbinger the big bad and The Illusive Man as his puppet or as The Illusive Man could’ve put it his “partner”

My other ME3 metas

ME3 mistakes

ME3 ending fix

I cannot state how much I hate that Harbinger is almost nonexistent in this game. 

The thing that annoyed me most about ME3 is the fact that Harbinger is not the main threat. The Illusive Man is. Harbinger has been built up as the big bad since ME2. "YOU HAVE FAILED. WE WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY." He says as he discards the Collectors. Then his speech to Shepard as the base blows up. "Human, you've changed nothing. Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater. That which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction. You will surrender your potential against the growing void. We return, and you will rise. We are the harbinger of your perfection. We will bring your species into harmony with our own. Your species will be raised to a new existence. We are the beginning, you will be the end. Prepare for our domination. Prepare for our coming." Then in Arrival, he came pretty damn close to unleashing quick subjugation and harvest upon an unprepared galaxy. Upon Shepard foiling his plans. "Shepard. You have become an annoyance. You fight against inevitability. Dust struggling against cosmic winds. This seems a victory to you. A star system sacrificed. But even now, your greatest civilizations are doomed to fall. Your leaders will beg to serve us. Know this as you die in vain: Your time will come. Your species will fall. Prepare yourselves for the Arrival." The perfect final villain right? Unfortunately, Cerberus was more focused on than The Reapers. My problem with Cerberus and no Harbinger is Too many Cerberus, too few Reaper forces in plot. We fight Cerberus more often than the reapers. Hardly any boss fight and the one with Reaper Destroyer on Rannoch was more an interactive movie than fight. During the Horizon mission in Mass Effect 2, Harbinger was solidified as the Big Bad. It was menacing and ominous, with just the right amount of annoying. It taunted us throughout the game, telling us how insignificant we were, and how our actions were pointless. It was willing to posses drones through the Collector General to fight us personally, and when we killed the host, it tossed them aside. Harbinger even gave the typical “You haven’t seen the last of me!” villain rant. It made any fire fight frustrating, and that made me want to kill it even more; I hated Harbinger. Many games fail to do that. Harbinger was an enemy which I looked forward to defeating. I had the desire to annihilate. In Mass Effect 3, I got a codex entry and a cameo. Harbinger just swoops in at the last second and blows my friends and I to hell(and lets the Normandy save them), then flies off. Personally, I would have loved to hear Harbinger’s menacing monologue, it drove me on. I would have felt a deeper motivation to take the fight back to Earth if it told me how much destruction the Reapers were causing, how many lives were lost. I felt cheated when I got to the final mission, only to suddenly realize it was largely absent from the game. Harbinger has been replaced. Replaced by the Illusive Man and Kai Leng. The former is an old acquaintance, albeit one now controlled by the Reapers. The latter is a space ninja from a terrible book.

I will admit. The Illusive Man is a worthy foe and someone worthy enough to be Harbinger’s Saren. Kai Leng however is a terrible counterpart for Shepard. 

Kai Leng. Sucks. Period. Here is a long in depth version on why he sucks. Even in the novels Leng is a terrible character. He’s a edgelord racist.  He couldn’t even kill Anderson, he almost got taken out by an aging Drell with stage 7 Drell cancer. Oh but he has snarky one liners and he sent that stupid fucking email after Thesia. KAI LENG SUCKS! He is not even interesting. I genuinely fucking sighed when he was introduced. When he killed Thane, all I could think of was “really?”. When he sent that little email I just rolled my eyes. When I saw him at the temple all I could think of was “not you again”. When he “beat” me on Thessia(I would have unloaded my N7 Typhoon and sent his whiny ass into oblivion, but game mechanics said I couldn’t) I just felt angry that such a stupid character ever made it past the writing board. Oh and BULLSHIT. Thane and Kirrahe would have killed Kai Leng. Even near his death bed, Thane could still kill Kai Leng. Kirrahe is a hardened veteran, he is AN STG MAJOR! Kirrahe would have killed Kai Leng in a blink of a fucking eye.  Here is my take on Kai Leng. He should have been killed on Priority:Citadel. If you do not save Kirrahe or don’t talk to Thane. Shepard should kill Kai Leng. If you saved Kirrahe but don’t talk to Thane. Kirrahe comes out of cloak and bombards Leng with Scorpion rounds and Leng blows up. If you talked to Thane, Thane would blow Kai Leng’s head off. The only reason why Leng is presented as a threat is cutscene logic and bad one liners. 

But back to The Illusive Man and Harbinger

To make Harbinger work as the big bad, we need to have Harbinger constantly “ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL” 

Near the end of the first mission, before Shepard contacts the Normandy, we would see Harbinger’s hologram appear like it did in Arrival. Harbinger taunting Shepard. that the harvest begins. 

Instead of suggesting Control, The Illusive Man is basically saying The Reapers can uplift Humanity and ascend them and dominate the other races. With Harbinger’s help, Humanity will be the ultimate force in the galaxy

Everytime we fight Reaper forces, Harbinger is there to “ASSUME DIRECT CONTROL”

Kai Leng dies on The failed coup on the Citadel. The Illusive Man does not care as he is close to finding The Catalyst 

On Rannoch, instead of a Destroyer Reaper talking to Shepard, Harbinger’s hologram will appear. Harbinger will continue to taunt Shepard, but Shepard shows that everyone is coming together to end the Reapers once and for all. Harbinger would not say that the Reapers are needed to keep synthetics from killing organics. He would say The Reapers are there to ascend and are your salvation through destruction. Harbinger’s end quotes from ME2 is basically the premise of The Reapers end goals. That's all it needed to be.

On Thesia, The Illusive Man will explain to Shepard that Harbinger chose him. After The First Contact War, TIM found a Reaper artifact. In that artifact, he was contacted by Harbinger. He lost his human vision, but awakened to the truth and because of Harbinger’s guidance, he founded Cerberus. Strength for Cerberus is strength for humanity. TIM believes he and Harbinger together they could uplift and empower humanity over the lesser races. The Illusive Man is to Harbinger, as what Saren was for Soverign. He will then tell Shepard, he plans on using the Crucible to finish what the Collectors started. Completing the Human Reaper. Then TIM sends a group of Phantoms, Nemesis and Cerberus Dragons to face Shepard in place of Leng. Thesia falls. 

Sanctuary is used to create Husks and harvest humans to help create the Human Reaper

At Cerberus Headquarters, TIM says Harbinger knew more about the Citadel than Soverign. There is more than one Conduit and he found it. Vendetta will reveal that the Citadel was moved by Harbinger and taken it to Earth to complete the harvest

The confrontation between Shepard, Anderson and TIM happens but we know how TIM is on the Citadel and if you read my ending fix, you will know that Anderson would’ve went to the beam with Shepard and they are transported to the same place

Shepard will ask “Why didn’t Harbinger kill me?” “Because, we need you to understand and we need you to believe”

Same confrontation ends with either Shepard shooting TIM dead or TIM killing himself after Shepard uses paragon or renegade to reveal that Harbinger used him all his life

After Anderson passes. Harbinger “Assumes Control” over TIM’s dead body. Harbinger will explain the purpose of the Harvests. The explanation is the original ending of Dark energy. The Reapers as a whole were ‘nations’ of people who had fused together in the most horrific way possible to help find a way to stop the spread of the Dark Energy. The real reason for the Human Reaper was supposed to be the Reapers saving throw because they had run out of time. Humanity in Mass Effect is supposedly unique because of its genetic diversity and represented the universe’s best chance at stopping Dark Energy’s spread. We have a choice either Sacrifice humanity, allowing them to be horrifically processed in hopes that the end result will justify the means or use The Crucible to destroy The Reapers and find a way to stop the dark energy from spreading and it shows it is hopeful with a united galaxy. However, if we choose destroy, Harbinger will attempt to stop Shepard. A Reaperfied TIM appears and Shepard fights him, while The Normandy fights Harbinger. If we choose sacrifice humanity, Shepard will be the final catalyst to completing the Human Reaper.  But obviously no one will choose that choice as the entire point of the trilogy is to destroy The Reapers. So we get a hopeful ending. The united galaxy will work together to stop the spread of dark energy, as Hackett said “If we can put aside our grievances long enough to stop The Reapers, imagine what we can do together” 

There, I came up with a way to have the best of both worlds. Harbinger and The Illusive Man as the big bads. 

I also made The Reapers motivation to actually work. They are there to control the chaos. The harvests end with a creation of The Reaper and The Reapers are the pinnacle of evolution Harbinger’s speech at the end of ME2 was enough for a motivation. The Reapers are our salvation from the coming void. They want to ascend humanity to perfection. That makes complete sense and makes more sense than destroying everyone to save everyone????? WHo fucking wrote this Starchild garbage???

The point is, The Reapers and The Illusive Man could’ve worked as the big bads collectively together. 

[prettywarriors]

Ok ill bite whats the worst mg series

alright, whats the worst magical girl series in your opinion?

Thanks you two for letting me do some yelling. The obvious guess would likely be one of the recent edgelord shows right? Magical Girl Site or something similar? But nay I say, for while MGS and Day Break Illusion and such and what not generally tell you what to expect right away. Don't like super violence and suffering? Watch something else is the clear message from the get go. One of the bait and switch series then like Madoka or maybe Yuki Yuna? For what faults they may or may not have, at least these series do something and are interesting, even if you're not huge on what goes down in the series. A parody then? They range from affectionate to banned in New Zealand but regardless of quality and their feelings for MGs, it's a parody. It's a joke and shouldn't be taken seriously (plus they're usually short so you can just forget about them forever).

So what makes a series terrible then, I am sure you are asking. IMO? Setting expectations for an interesting and enjoyable series, and then dashing them to hell.

Come with me below the cut, as I talk about Key Princess Story: Kagihime Eternal Alice Rondo!

Spoilers abound so if you care about those for a 15 year old series, click away.

Background: Kagihime was a 4 volume manga that ran from 2004-2006 that was picked up for a 13 episode anime adaptation near the end of its run. The manga is created by a pair (Kaishaku) who you may know for making Magical Nyan Nyan Taruto. Kannazuki no Miko, and Steel Angel Kurumi, and the anime had a script written by the same writer (Mamiko Ikeda) for Tenshi Ni Narumon who also did some script writing for Princess Tutu and Seven of Seven. The anime also had 6 character music videos which are fairly simple but a nice addition to the series for the main girls. Discotek has been publishing the anime in the states in recent years, and the manga was brought over by *squints at book spine* Dr Master Publications.

The Premise: Girls transform and enter weird outside of reality spaces to fight each other with giant keys to take each other’s stories to create a third Alice In Wonderland story.

Well, an off-brand Alice story written by Alternate L. Takion, rather than Lewis Carroll/Charles Dodgson, that while the series uses all the aesthetic hallmarks of the tradition Alice, the little we see of the in universe Alice story is clearly different. Which is fine, at the end of the day, it’s still about someone who loves the Alice stories and wishes there was more, and even makes his own fanfiction version. His? Oh yeah, while the girls do all the fighting, the main character is Aruto, a teen boy who loves Alice, and for reasons we don’t know till late game, can enter the liminal spaces that the ‘Alice Users’ fight in. He chases a girl who looks like the Alice he sees in his story, who is named Arisu, and gets roped into this fanfic battle royale. He is also the older brother of the very needy Kirihara, who also ends up being and Alice User. As does Kirihara’s bff Kisa. To round out the group of enemies-turned-friends-who-will-work-together-to-collect-the-Eternal-Alice-without-having-to-fight-eachother group is a young genius researcher Kirika who wants to know more about Aruto’s connection that allows him to enter the spaces where the girls fight.

Then there’s all the other girls, some of whom still have real importance to the story and some who have a few panels or 2 scenes total. But with a whole bunch of girls to design, the creators reached out to a whole lot of other people to have them create designs! Eventually the battle gets down to the last few girls, there’s a confrontation with the guy running the whole thing, and while the anime and manga vary quite a bit the whole time, in both version Aruto ends up with Kirihara. Oh and Arisu was created by Aruto’s super imagination powers.  

The Promise: Here on is subjective, particularly with what I personally saw as potential from this series. because I need you to understand how much I want to like this series. 

~Alice in Wonderland themed: I know some people aren’t alice fans and that’s fine you do you but as a big alice fan this is great. We have a few alice episodes and themed characters amongst series like CCS and MGRP, and even Alice themes in other series like Tweeny Witches and Alice 19th. But damn it I am down for Alice series.

~Giant Keyyyyyyyys: Yeah yeah Kingdom Hearts but these keys are much more staff like for a lot of the characters which ads and air of elegance rather than the KH ones that for me at least feel well designed for big ol props rather than actual weapons. We also get...

~Weapon variety: It counts as a key if it’s a thorn whip that can be shaped like a key right? How about a giant pocket knife? Crossbows can also be keys. Hush. And we have this variety because

~Guest Artists: For magical girl series where we have a variety of outfits designed by different people, we have Kagihime, Uta~Kata, and uhh I guess Magia Record? But that’s a mobile game with a hella number of characters and with how mobile game works I wouldn’t count it just because it’s less the intent of the series to have variety and more the nature of having lots of girls. (Precure doesn’t count because unless I missed a memo each season’s set is still by one designer). If a series isn’t about a team and therefore doesn’t need cohesion, bringing in other artists is a great way for variety and new looks. 

~The long term goal: Fighting with other people who love the same piece of media you do in hopes of creating new material that will be viewed as official? That’s just fandom nowadays. But it’s a legitimate interesting concept, and opens up so many doors for a message for the series, be it ‘what you create is no less valuable than the canon work’ or ‘it’s hard to let go when something you love doesn’t have more to it but you can still love it for what it is’ or ‘bond with the people who like the thing you like ya idiot instead of fighting about it’. The concept is interesting and there are so many narrative ways you can take this.

~Gays: Between the anime and manga, we have at least 5 wlw. Is it a magical girl series without some gays? (side note- the manga had a short thing where the MC wears a girl’s uniform and is pretty comfortable in it and while there is no way this was the intent, between that and the emphasis on the stories that live in girls and how the fight zones have no men, I’m just saying, Trans girl Aruto.)

~Greater Fairy Tale Premise: We meet a Little Match Girl based MG who is obsessed with Andersen rather than the Alice books, and touch on a Sleeping Beauty character in the manga. The manga at least implies that classic stories and fairy tale authors uh. Live on in a liminal space as immortals with world warping powers within that world and there could be opportunities for other girls in the real world to fight for Little Mermaid 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The Good: Everything has positive points, no matter how bad it is.

~Character Designs: Some of those looks slap. As do most of their weapons. 

~Backgrounds: I have a strong opinion on backgrounds in anime that can be easily boiled down to old watercolor backgrounds good, modern filtered photos as background bad, and as a 2006 series, this might not be Memole nice but they’re quite attractive. 

~Splash Pages: Easily my favorite thing after the designs, each chapter’s title page for the manga just has a character standing in a setting. Which is not everyone’s thing I’m sure but it’s a nice simplistic way to let the characters breathe imo. Even if at least some of the settings were deffo traced. But that’s how backgrounds work to some extent? If I ever get to the Met again, I am tracking down this exact photo, but here is a likely candidate for an example.

~Different Versions: I do not understand the need to make an adaptation that tries to be a 1:1. Kagihime had the same ideas and characters and did some of the same beats but very much had a different finale story and a lot of changes in the middle (like the Alice cops in the manga). Again, not something everyone probably wants I’m sure, but I very appreciate this, especially since the Anime kept good pace with the number of Manga chapters (reading the manga again while watching the anime at 3.8x speed just now was very interesting to see the different interpretations of events in a different medium.)

The ‘Fine’: Yeah.

~Anime Visuals: Look 2006 was still early enough into digipaint that I will give it a total pass on these. The colors are too bright but in a very bland way, the lineart is nothing interesting, and the faces are. Iffy. But it’s not total garbage to look at (probably helped by backgrounds and character designs...) it just came out in an era where not enough people knew how to stylize things to account for the weakness of the tools of the time. (It was 4 years earlier but I feel Kagihime is the polar opposite of Chobits with its painfully bland color palette while still being just. Flat. Sorry for the drive by Chii.) 

~Music?: There sure were songs. Obviously, they are nothing to me.

The Bad: CW for.... somehow all the big things to an extent. 

~Fanservice: Look, I am fine with fanservice, especially for a series that’s, ya know, not targeted at kids, big Mai Hime fan here even if I would recommend skipping the panty thief episode. And honestly the series generally isn’t fanservicey, at least by the modern standards of having the camera choosing under the skirt rather than an over the shoulder shot like I’ve seen plenty in other shows. Even the sexier outfits like the rose whip dominatrix aren’t bad BUT. When the girls fight. One takes her phallic key and drives it into another girls chest between the boobs while the loser cries in pain and then her book comes out and when the victor rips out pages, the loser’s clothes also rip. It is very SuperS Amazon Trio assault metaphor-y. There’s also a bit of fanservice with the sister becauseeeee....

~Incest: If you read the premise up there, first wow good job because I’m sure not re-reading that, you might have noticed I said MC ends up with his sister. As someone who is a big mythology fan and watches plenty of anime, I have a decent tolerance for your obligatory ‘oh we’re siblings but actually cousins so our feelings are okay’ or whatever the fuck Citrus has going on I don’t know that series and I don’t vibe BUT. I have limits and boy did this series go beyond that because multiple episodes are dedicated to the sister being in love with the brother? And the brother returns her feelings but knows that they are wrong so he put everything he likes in his sister into his version of Alice who, of course, physically manifests as Arisu who he creates accidentally with his uh. Magic imagination powers. But again in both versions MC still ends up with his sister. Hey, at least the manga eventually said the boy was adopted when the sister was like, 3, so if nothing else no blood relations? The anime did not ad this. -_-

~Under Utilized Characters: Arisu’s gradual revelation that she has no childhood memories because she isn’t a real person is so interesting and they don’t do nothing with it but also? That’s the kind of thing I personally would love to dig into and Kagihime, while touching on this world shattering revelation, easily loops back to So Anyway She Should Fight For The Man and to hell with developing a life or personality outside of what has been written for her. The rest of the main 5 were 2 note characters which. Could be worse? The most interesting character ends up being the child genius who accidentally murdered her childhood bestie (and/or lover? depending on version) and her coming to terms with that (the friend is alive but the version changes how and why she thinks she’s dead). Then the villain has the motivation of ‘i lost my creativity and now have become an immortal living outside of normal space and am getting girls to fight each other because that’s like a story so I’m still relevant right?’. But shoutout to the anime for then taking death of the author literally. The numerous other girls are canon fodder outside of like. The manga version of the dead gf and the little match girl.

~Battle Royale: This is not a thing I have an issue with generally. Again, but Mai Hime fan, I need to read MGRP 11, BUT by not developing the non-main girls there is no emotional connection which makes them just canon fodder and that’s boring as sin for a royale system. The initial main character fights revolve so much around the MC guy being there that they fall flat, and the 2 or 3 final battles in both versions still feel without any stakes. Also for a royale thing most of the characters don’t actually die, which cool! Neat! Except when they do? Some nobodies and a somebody are murdered (at least in the manga) and the tone never feels like it’s supposed to be upping the stakes, it’s just. Some people are dead now. And do you want to guess which of the main characters died?

~Gays: Oh boy the best friend of the brother-complex sister is in love with her and (in the manga) dies. She does apparently get better for the last chapter but the death itself is only felt by the rest of the cast for a page or two before we go back to feeling sad big brother wants to kiss his mentally generated sister clone rather than his actual sister u_u. Bury your gays is nothing new, but I wonder if it was also intended to be justified because Guess Who Is Creepy and a bit Perverted? Oh look the lesbian keeps the used swimsuit of her beloved and manipulates events to get an indirect kiss and when she sees the sister trying to strange Arisu for a moment she decides to do it for the sister? It’s not good. You want bad gay rep in a magical girl series, well here ya go. We also had a nobody in the first(second?) episode whose story pages reveal her having a kiss with a girl, and then we also have the prodigy again and- in the manga- her. Uh. childhood lover who she thought she killed but the girl has been wiping her mind over and over so prodigy remembers ‘killing’ the friend and not the she’s alive so she can keep? fucking with her? Toxic!

~Sexual Content: But wait you say, you already covered fanservice! Ah but that is sexual content for titilation. This is sexual content for dramatic backstory! The red riding hood character was sexually assaulted, another character was manipulated into sex first as a teen and then more often to ‘get into the publishing industry’, and the same writer forces some aggressive kisses on the MC. None of it is gratuitous which is nice, but also, was it necessary? Not making a new point for this but read riding hood’s dog was also murdered so unnecessary animal death gets tossed on in there. 

~Male Lead: You can have a male, non magical character as the main character surrounded by magical girls. This is not how to do it. If I can make a vicious and hopefully not understood reference, Aruto is basically Tate from the Mai Hime Manga. If you understood that, I am so sorry. If you didn’t, congrats! Don’t read the manga. Or do and send me asks about the iconic final page of the first volume (18+). Anyway, this dude is boring, everything revolves around him, BUT I’ll be generous and say at least this isn’t a harem series? It looks like it out of context but it’s just a triangle with a fun attached scientist and token lesbian.

~Premise: They didn’t make good use of it. The initial goals of ‘take other girls pages from their soul books because if we get enough we unlock a third alice book’ is good! And then we add the twist that that was never going to happen and either if we get all the pages we can grant a wish, or these fights are just happening for the amusement of and asshole. Either way, yeah okay I guess. But at no point do we ever achieve this forbidden wish granting book and the asshole just. Lives. Nothing happens to him. His peers don’t even dunk on him. The only real changes from the beginning and the end of the series are: the siblings are now chill with dating, and the scientist lady won’t turn into a child in magical spaces. Oh. Yeah.

~Why did we make this adult a child sometimes?: I think we know why. Stop trying to get those types of folks to watch your already meh series. I also could have sworn at points in the past looking up images for this series I’ve seen extra art for Yuuri the Thumbelina-y Alice User that seemed like it would fit alongside anything by POP. You know, the Moetan guy. If you don’t know, god I wish that were me. 

Wrap Up: I have definitely forgotten some points and am well within my rights to ad to this whenever I remember more points but uh. Yeah.  

Listen you want an alice themed battle royale with nice outfits? Rozen maiden is right there. Battle Royale magical girl series that’s good with fanservice? Mai Hime. Series with different outfits while being based on a classic story? Pretear.

Hope anyone who read all of this at least got what I was saying, even if they don’t agree with it. And thanks for reading because whoops. 

[lo-55]

Playing With Fire

While playing a perfectly innocent video game you get thrown into a dangerous world on the brink of incineration! At least you’re surrounded by a bunch of hot people. If nothing else you can shower them with copious, well earned affection. 

You come awake with a start. 

Everything is just a little off kilter. Like your eyes aren’t focused or you're wearing someone else's glasses. It takes you a few long minutes to realize that you’re staring down at a piece of paper. 

It’s listed one through eight, with a check box next to each number. 

At the top you see ‘Company Preference List’, and beneath that is your name scrawled in your own handwriting. But, when did you write it? And what was the list? You look up to find yourself in a library, surrounded by a bunch of other people all dressed in orange uniforms. You look down and find yourself in the same one. You recognize it as the Fire Force boiler suits. 

You touch your cheek slowly. Then poke the corner of your eyes. You’re not wearing your VR visor. And you’re not holding handles either. Are you hallucinating? You were playing the game, in the middle of some side quest. Did the game reset? This looked like a scene from the start of the game. It followed the beginning of the series, but through the eyes of a random side character researching Haijima on their own. There was some kind of revenge plot and a lot of stuff about their big sister, but you hadn’t gotten to the full reveal of the tragic back story yet. They interacted with the main characters plenty, but mostly they spent their time in their own squad, the fourth. 

You were halfway through the game, and now you were back at the start?

You look around for something to tell you what’s going on. You try to poke the menu button, but you’re not holding controllers. So all you really end up doing is poking the air between your hands with your thumbs. You’re starting to panic, when something shiny catches your attention. 

When did you get that ring? 

Plain silver on your forefinger. You poke it and gasp when the world shifts minutely. 

A flicker of fire, a figure dark against the light. It warps in and out of your vision in a split second. 

Right. Tragic back story. 

The ring was from their (your?) older sister. Now disappeared a-la-infernal fire. You were like the reverse Shinra. 

Wait. 

Shinra. 

Your head snapped around quickly from one person to the other. Most of them were boring background characters. No, no, no. Boring. Lame. Basically grey blobs. 

Were you going crazy and you couldn’t even enjoy it?! 

“Uh, hey? Are you okay?” 

Your head snaps sideways to find bright red eyes peering at you in concern. 

Red eyes. Black hair. 

You stare hard at him until the corners of his mouth start to twitch and curl upwards. 

“H-hey. Why are you staring at me?” 

Abruptly you reach over and cup his cheeks. His face is hot beneath your hands. You can touch him. You can feel the heat of his skin. He’s blushing something fierce. 

“You are… adorable,” you declare. 

He turns bright red and squeaks at you until you finally let him go. 

“What?!” 

“Did I stutter?” you prop your chin in your hand and look him over. Yep. Definitely cute. You just wanna squeeze him. But, you should probably do other things first. Like figure out what exactly is going on. 

Not that you can come outta the gate with ‘hey I was playing a video game and now I’m stuck in it, also I thought you weren’t real? What gives yo?’ 

Even you aren’t that impulsive. 

Actually, in real live you’re not very impulsive at all. That was what made games so fun, especially open world ones where you could do basically whatever you wanted. IRL you were more withdrawn than anything, even when you wanted to be social. 

Now… You could be whoever you wanted, right? 

Did you even have to follow the plot? Could you put a preference for another company and go there? Or would you still end up in the forth? And what about your abilities? In the game you’d had a choice at the beginning between a second gen ability and two third gen powers. You’d ended up picking at random, since they all seemed cool and you hadn’t been very far into the anime yet at the time. 

How would you even use those powers here, assuming that you could? 

“Sorry, I was spacing out,” you finally said, “What were you saying?” 

“Oh uh,” Shinra looked away, his grin still pulling at his face. “I was just asking if you were okay. You were looking at the form for so long, but whenever you talked about joining a company before you always said you would go to the fourth. Not that we talk a lot, so I wouldn’t know if you wanted to go to the fifth or the sixth or the seventh or-” 

“Babe, you’re rambling,” you cut in, starting to smile yourself. Even though you’re beyond confused something about Shinra puts you at ease. Everything about him seems so… warm. And yeah, the smile could be off putting. If it wasn’t so damn adorable. 

“O-oh!” aaaand he was blushing again. 

You look down at the paper, your brows furrowing. What are you even supposed to say to this? 

“I dunno,” you said at last, “I guess I was reconsidering. There’s a lot of companies, and a lot of options out there. I might end up going a totally different path if it’s not too late… What about you?” 

“Me? Well I didn’t really have a particular preference, but I heard that they’re trying to send more people to the eighth this year. Since its such a new company, and so small.” 

“Mmmm. That’s true. Maybe I’ll go there,” you muse. It would put you smack in the middle of all the action, and you could see the sweet Iris, and the too-hot-to-be-fair Maki. You could stay with adorable Shinra and the well meaning dumbass that was Arthur. Not to mention the two guys in charge. If you could get Obi to bench press you- 

Nope! Bad! Focus on the task at hand. No thirsting over captains right now! 

“I was thinking the same thing,” Shinra admitted, looking down at his own paper. 

“Yeah? I guess such a small company would make it easy for you to stand out and come a hero, right?” 

Shinra looked startled. You offered him a sweet smile and turned back to your paper and picked up your pen. 

You marked your preferences. 

Eighth, seventh, fourth, second, fifth, sixth, third, first. 

“The eighth and the seventh?” Shinra asked, peaking over at your sheet. 

You shot him a grin. “They both sound like fun to me. Hey, Shinra?” 

“Yeah?” 

Your grin grows wider. “Let’s both do our best, and save lots of people okay?” 

Shinra’s smile is small, but true. 

“Okay.” 

You bump your fist to his to seal the deal. 

~ 

It had taken you a couple of tries to find your dorm room. 

Your body seemed like it knew what it was doing, even if your mind didn’t. You had to explain away your frazzled state to the woman in charge of your wing, a nun who’s name you couldn’t recall to save your life, as nerves. She had looked dubious, but hadn’t questioned you when she pointed you to your room. 

Probably thinks I’m hung over, you thought as you stepped inside. If I didn’t know better I’d think I was drunk enough to hallucinate. But it’s all way too real. Just what happened? One second I was playing the game, and then my phone went off, and then it was all dark. After that I was in the library. 

 It was making your head hurt thinking about it. 

You poked around the room. If you remembered right you’d had a roommate, but she’d already been assigned her company a week early. Her dad was some top brass in the military, so off to the second company she went, 

You made sure the door was locked before you started riffling through your things. 

Books, papers, clothes. Personal items. 

You had a collection of antique keys for some reason, and a blanket shaped like a tortilla that was warmer than most space heaters. There was an old lighter with a hawk engraved on it in one drawer. When you touched it you got the sudden smell of pipe tobacco and a man laughing far in the back of your mind before it was gone. Just like when you touched the ring earlier. 

Memories that weren’t yours. You had stepped into someone else's life. 

When you looked in the mirror you found the face that your had designed for your character staring back at you. There was a thin ring of white in your eyes, cutting through their color and marking you as a pyrokinetic. 

Shit. Each of those abilities had a different eye. Which one was the circle? There was a circle, a pointy cross, and teardrop because the designer was some edgelord. Which power does this mean I have? Wings? Magnet sand? Or the spear torch thingy? 

You wished this could have been more like Fate/Grand Order. Then you would just have to keep track of your teams abilities, strengths, and weaknesses. Not your own. 

Fuck. 

You spend a long time in your room, packing up all of your belongings. None of them really belong to you. They belong to your character, and they’re only familiar in the sense that you’ve thrown them over your shoulder when you were looking for something specific before. Only now if you throw them they won’t puff back to where they were before eventually. You’ll actually have to put this stuff away. 

Damn it, you’ve never liked packing. 

Still, you carefully rolled your new found clothes into baggage burritos. They were pretty plain, all in all. Oh well. You could make adjustments later if you really wanted to. Was it a game mechanic you haven't unlocked? Full customization? You could pick gender and hair, and the eyes depended on your pyrokinesis. Maybe at some point you got to change clothes too. 

You’d figure it out. 

You hoped. 

Your head was still reeling the with the idea of what was going on, but for now, with nothing else you really could do, you decided to go with it. 

Once you had everything all packed up you left your room to do some exploring. You tried to keep track of where you were going in the big fire station/training academy, but before long you were hopelessly lost. 

You stumbled upon a training room, where a familiar boy with a dorky pony tail was slashing a glowing blue sword through a training dummy. The poor dummy fell to the floor in pieces. 

You watched him for a few minutes before he noticed you. 

“Oh,” he said, “It’s you.” 

Which was… pretty lame, if you’re being honest. 

What, did you one pop his delusional bubble? 

“Yep,” you popped your ‘p’, “It’s a-me.” Mario. “What did that guy ever do to you? Try to challenge the great Knight King Arthur on a troll bridge?” you meant it to be a joke, but Arthur actually lit up. 

“Hardly! This was merely training. A Knight King must always be ready to defend his people!” 

“Of course,” you nodded along, playing with him. “And soon you’ll be embarking on a great quest to your new company, right? Do you know which one?” 

“I didn’t bother with those silly preference sheets. Let whichever company requires a knight most vie for my presence.” 

You were honestly impressed Arthur even knew the word ‘vie’. Wasn’t he kind of a loon? 

“Mhmm, mhmm, I see,” you nodded seriously. “Then in case, I might see you in my own company.” 

You wanted to ask him to spar, if only to see Excalibur in action more, but you still weren’t sure what your power was or how to use it. So you ended up bowing out. 

It took you another hour to find your way  back to your room. 

Whoops. 

You don’t really sleep. You lay down and try to wake up, and hope that come morning you’ll be back in your living room with a vr stapped to your head and this whole thing will have been a (not so terrible) dream. 

Keep Dreaming. 

~    ~

[magioftheseas]

Gundham & Yasuke

Summary: The Forbidden Tanaka’s FTEs in the SDR2 Protagonist Matsuda Yasuke AU. YES.

Rating: PG

Warnings: Language and blood/injuries.

Notes: Unsurprisingly, Tanaka was the winner of the poll for which FTEs were to be done next. So his FTEs, quite hilariously, are getting posted on the anniverary date for sdr2′s initial release. That feels pretty...fitting. Writing Tanaka’s dialogue was really hard but I did my best. Despite my best efforts, these two don’t get along the best that they could. Cursed.

Read this fic among others HERE

Main story is HERE

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It went without saying that he didn’t have a normal middle school experience so he didn’t interact with a lot of people who exhibited the so-called eighth-grader syndrome. But he knew that once kids had the cognitive ability to identify their lot in life and long for more, such desires could get...twisted, to say the least.

Just about everyone wants to be fucking special if they’re not too focused on surviving. And most people grew ashamed of the lofty aspirations and special interests they developed in that delicate era. Matsuda understood that much, even if he was considerably detached from it. In some ways, those people were like animals. Strange beasts that acted on impulses and instincts. That still had intelligence but not, like, awareness. When it came to engaging with these types, Matsuda had no choice but to accept them even as he shook his head at their delusions of grandeur.

He understands he’s supposed to do that in theory.

In practice, however...

“Sharp-tongued fool!” Tanaka bellowed. “You draw too near to the barrier of the Ice Kingdom!”

It’s a beautiful day outside. It’s always a beautiful fucking day. Clear, sunny sky. Warm but with a pleasant breeze to keep it from being too sweltering. It’s such a nice day—and Matsuda Yasuke does not want to be here.

Without another word, he turns on his heel.

“Aha!” Tanaka sneered. “To think just the warning prose would be enough to make you turn tail and run. A cowardice I did not expect, but perhaps... I should have.”

While walking away and listening to that guy cackle to himself, all Matsuda had in response was to flip him off.

He proceeded to avoid Tanaka for the rest of the day—and would’ve avoided him for the rest of his life had fate not had something else in store.

--

It was another beautiful day. The perfect day for a walk. He was thinking by the ranch so that he could admire the chickens as he passed. Unfortunately, he not only came across chickens but also the cow that used to be a chicken he quite liked.

Also Tanaka Gundam.

And their eyes ended up meeting.

There’s no real point in reasoning with someone who exhibits grandiose delusions, he reminded himself. It’s no good to denounce them, but it’s also no good to enable them. It’s a delicate line that I do not want to fucking bother with.

Matsuda does look away, intent on ignoring the other. Despite that resolve, his thoughts don’t shut up.

I didn’t have any peers in middle school for obvious reasons. I never actually spoke to someone my own age who felt this way. I was too busy being fixated on my own goals and lofty aspirations.

A couple of steps forward. It’s fine. If he continued the way he was already going, he can just pass Tanaka. It’d be easy. Simple.

...

Fuck.

He pauses. He turns. Tanaka has already turned away, but as if guided by the third sense of a fucking Evil All-Seeing Eye, he turns back to Matsuda. His brow quirks.

“Has the barrier truly weakened so?”

“I don’t know,” Matsuda replied intelligently. “For some reason, I feel too worn down to go through the effort of pretending you don’t exist.”

Tanaka cackled lowly.

“Such an insolent remark. It seems you do not truly know your place. But that is just as well. Even now, your true name is one that seems out of my grasp.”

“I’m Matsuda Yasuke. Nice to meet you.”

Tanaka clicked his tongue, scowling at Matsuda’s blank expression and his deadpan tone.

“That,” he snarled. “Is merely a brush against the surface. It does not encompass the deepest depths of your rogue soul.”

Alright. So he wants to know what makes me tick. If I had to guess.

“Your true name,” Tanaka requested impatiently. “I have no need for superficial titles.”

“That’s cold,” Matsuda huffed. “The name my mom gave me isn’t superficial.”

...even if it is ironic.

For some reason, Tanaka does perk up. He gives a nod of approval.

“A fair retort,” he concedes. “That maternal bond is its own scarring shackle.”

That admission was the first true crack in the wall between them. Or so Matsuda supposed, and he felt himself slip just a little bit further.

What a headache...

“Anyway,” he went on with a wave of his hand. “It’d be incredibly foolish to give you my true name, right? If telling a demon my name gives them possession of my soul and telling them my birthday gives them control of my life... Then telling someone like you...”

Tanaka nodded again, grinning so widely it was damn near grotesque.

“I see...the sharp-tongued fool is still retaining a sharp mind...”

I shouldn’t have played along even in jest. Fuck.

“What special abilities do you possess?” Tanaka purrs, drawing closer now. “What hidden capabilities have you acquired?”

Tanaka stalks even closer, his eyes are flashing with curiosity and hunger. Probably because this fucking weirdo wouldn’t understand a normal interaction if it bit him in the face.

I still hate that stare. I fucking hate that stare.

“You already know that,” Matsuda snapped, forcing himself to stay relaxed. “Neurology is my talent. You even know my name and birthday because of those damn student files...”

Calm down, calm down. It’s just fucking Tanaka—

Tanaka does halt. His head tilts quizzically.

“Hmph.” With nostrils flaring, Tanaka seemed to duck into his own scarf. “I suppose you are human after all.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Simple.” Tanaka chuckled. “I sensed your apprehension, Matsuda Yasuke. I sensed—and yet, I could tell it was not a chill brought about by the Ice Kingdom.”

Matsuda does flinch at that.

“I shall take my leave for now so that you may re-gather your peace,” Tanaka declared. “Till next time, sharp-tongued fool.”

Tanaka gave him a salute. Matsuda barely had a chance to wave back before Tanaka flipped his scarf and coat so that it would dramatically billow behind him as he made his overly dramatic exit. So fucking extra, and yet—

He left so that I could take the time to calm down.

And how the hell was he supposed to feel about that?

--

“Even now, I can hear the crackling of the Ice Kingdom’s barrier.” Tanaka was cackling. Another beautiful day. Yet somehow this weirdo was set on shrouding himself in asinine mystery as well as his own dark layers. How the hell was he not burning up?

Tanaka noticed his staring and merely smirked. “What brings you today, Matsuda Yasuke?”

Aah. Even with that pompous fucking tone, it’s an understandable question.

“I don’t like things to be unbalanced,” he said which was a bald-faced lie but sounded persuasive enough. “Since you interrogated me last time, I thought I’d ask you a few questions of my own.”

“Hmph!” Tanaka snorted. “You seek a comprehension that may underlie a deep terror that cannot be contained! Do you not fear for your sanity?”

“No, I’m insane already,” Matsuda said flatly. “I drove myself insane years ago.”

“Is that SO?!” Tanaka boomed, incredulous or admiring, Matsuda wasn’t sure. “Your humanity is one that only hangs by a thread, then?!”

I...can’t disagree with that, huh.

Matsuda shrugged.

“We’re not supposed to be talking about me. Let’s talk about you.”

Tanaka remained guarded but gave a nod.

“Very well. Demi-human or no, I shall not lose to you.”

That’s more like it. You’re much less annoying this way.

“What talents do you have?” he settles on since it’s only fair. “Even if it’s not the full roster, I’d like to know some...special abilities.”

“You shall only get a portion,” Tanaka said, sniffing. “Despite my appearance, I’m an active fiend. Between sorcery and human hunting, I manage my website.”

Matsuda blinked, trying to imagine this guy at a computer. Actually, it was really easy to imagine. There’s no way Tanaka learned to talk like an edgelord on his own.

I bet he spends a lot of time looking up stupid shit like Norse mythology. But, if he has a website, then...

“I have encrypted my research with magic,” Tanaka informed him. “Thus, only those worthy can gain access.”

...if he means through password then I could probably hack in with ease.

“If I had to guess what kind of research it was,” Matsuda mused. “Then—probably something like a pet diary, right?”

There were a series of muffled squeaks from Tanaka’s scarf. Tanaka burst into a boisterous boom of laughter.

“Even with your wits, you would only be able to access the dummy site!” Tanaka grinned victoriously, even though no conflict had taken place. “Your skill level would only open the gates of the Exciting Breeding Journal.”

“...Alright. That’s fine by me.”

You’re literally here because of your talent in animal husbandry.

“Favorite food?” Matsuda asked next. Tanaka stiffened. Growled, even. Because he was pissed off about getting such a lukewarm response? Matsuda didn’t bother inquiring, instead pressing, “Do you have one?”

“The orange melon that bears the face of the devil,” Tanaka huffed, put out. “No other food compares in terms of high nutrients or versatility in cooking methods. More importantly, its seeds are the most effective food source for my Four Dark Devas of Destruction.”

...a pumpkin. He’s talking about a pumpkin, right?

“However! Those seeds must be carefully washed, carefully dried, carefully peeled,” Tanaka rambled on. “And lightly fried.”

“How meticulous,” Matsuda muttered. “But nothing less for...them.”

“Indeed. A difficulty that beguiles pain and pleasure alike matters not in the face of a grand purpose.”

I can agree with that even if I hate how it’s worded.

“There is more when it comes to the caring of beasts,” Tanaka rumbled. “Shall I lead you deeper?”

“Uh.” Matsuda waved his hand. “Next time. Let’s talk more next time.”

Tanaka gave him a truly wicked grin. For once, it actually felt malicious.

“Take as much time you need to prepare yourself, sharp-tongued fool.”

Matsuda made a face but bit his tongue.

Piece of shit.

--

Tanaka wasn’t out and about today at the ranch. He wasn’t in the diner, either. It went to reason that he was likely in his cottage.

It’s only because I found some pumpkin seeds that I’m even going...

When he knocked on the door, he found it unlocked. Since he wasn’t an animal, he was going to wait for Tanaka to answer the door rather than barge in but...

“Ku—!”

He heard a noise. A sharp, strangled sound that was undeniably made through gritted teeth. Matsuda opened the door immediately.

“Is everything alright?”

And indeed—Tanaka was holding his bloodied hand in a death grip. The hamsters were chirping and chittering, but unaffected. What happened was clear, especially in how Tanaka’s shoulders were hunched.

Thankfully, Matsuda carried around packets of wet wipes. He rummaged through his pocket for one, stepping forward and reaching out.

“Let me...”

“NO!” Tanaka shrieked, and like a startled beast he scrambled away from his hand. He was panting, still gripping his injury with a wide and wild-eyed stare. Seeing Matsuda there did little to calm him down, as he growled, “The blood that flows through my veins bears a fearsome curse. You must step away now to spare yourself their potency.”

Thankfully, Matsuda carried around disposable gloves. He slipped them on, tearing the wet wipe packet open, and made his way closer.

“Come on. We really don’t want that bite to get infected.”

“This is not my first blood sacrifice,” Tanaka snarled, even showing his teeth. Gross. “I have no need for your medical sorcery. And furthermore, that meager covering...!”

“Oh my fucking god, shut the hell up.” Matsuda snatched up his hand, prying the other off as Tanaka shrieked some more. Thankfully, Matsuda was able to pull it away and got to work dabbing and cleaning the wound. Tanaka had completely frozen now, but Matsuda was still fuming.

“Don’t ever fucking call me meager,” he snapped, and thankfully Tanaka had spare clean bandages for him to re-wrap his hand with. “Crude and foolish I’ll take. Meager I won’t.”

Tanaka finally scoffed as Matsuda made sure the bandaging was secure.

“A demi-human like you has such pride.”

Look who’s fucking talking.

“You should not have endangered yourself, however,” Tanaka went on. “I was not telling falsehoods about my poisonous blood. It is only by a thread that you have not already deteriorated. As crude and foolish as you are, I do not desire your demise.”

“I’ve dealt with my fair share of poison, so you’re worrying too much,” Matsuda replied but winced from a sudden headache. As he rubbed removed his gloves to rub his temples, Tanaka stood up.

“You once again face the ramifications for your hubris!” he exclaimed and rushed back to deal with his hamsters. “I grant you relief, and I advise you to take your leave immediately.”

“I’m fucking fine, it’s just a migraine,” Matsuda griped and disposed of the gloves and wipes. “Should you really be handling those hamsters again so soon?”

“They are not mere hamsters!” Tanaka bellowed. “The fangs I have taken are that of the Crimson Steel Elephant, Maga-Z!”

Maga-Z blinked its bright beady eyes at Matsuda.

“For the sake of the Invading Black Dragon, Cham-P,” Tanaka went to coo over the largest hamster which was orange, not black. “A golden demon, one who understands fear all too well... Much attention should be heeded to make sure they do not get overly stressed out... While many devil beasts of this ilk are aggressive and fearfully territorial, the golden variant is the most docile and intelligent. They recognize me as...”

He trails off. It’s as if he’s too moved to speak.

I have heard hamsters had an unnaturally high rate of cannibalism, Matsuda thought. But I suppose like with dog breeds, they come in all sizes...and temperaments...

It was obvious Tanaka knew his shit, being an Ultimate at all. But seeing it firsthand, watching him dote on the beasts with a cottage interior largely dedicated to their cage and tube, the guy definitely loved animals. Like, a lot. Despite his delusions of grandeur, he at least seemed to love animals a healthy, non-obsessive amount.

“They’re living well,” Matsuda commented blandly.

Tanaka scoffed at him.

“For demons that live a mere 1095 days, the luxuries in life mean everything. I would never settle for less.”

“I see...” He scuffed the end of his shoe against the wooden floor. “That’s good.”

Shouldn’t have worn open-toed shoes, but I don’t have any alternatives. Oh, right.

“I got pumpkin seeds.” He tossed the bag and it landed on Tanaka’s lap. The hamsters jumped, and even Tanaka flinched. Matsuda, however, turned on his heel. “Sorry. Bye.”

With that insincere apology, he headed out. He could feel a disproving stare on his back but that didn’t lessen his steps in the slightest.

--

His favorite chicken-turned-cow was in a good mood today. She was accepting pets and even nipping at his fingers. All he had on him was candy. Not any fruit much less hay although...

“If you plan to feed that creature, you should be wary of apples,” Tanaka rumbled from behind. Where the fuck he came from, Matsuda wasn’t sure, but he wasn’t surprised to be hearing from him. “You can risk over-eating which will cause a bloated stomach for the animal.”

“Ah, thanks for the advice,” Matsuda said sincerely, turning back and frowning when he noticed the other’s own hanging head. “What’s with the long face?”

“I would hope that you do not consider that creature to be your familiar, Matsuda Yasuke,” Tanaka murmured sullenly and solemnly. Like he had come across something truly pitiful to the point of depressing.

Although he seems more focused on the cow itself...

“I don’t have a familiar,” Matsuda huffed.

Tanaka quirks an eyebrow at him. Furrows it, even, as if Matsuda is the one not making sense. How seriously annoying. But rather than inquire further, Tanaka just shakes his head.

“Creatures like that one are born to be slaughtered,” he said, turning on his heel. “What a wretched fate, one that cannot be escaped even with the use of the Evil All-Seeing Eye. If one is to form a bond with such an unfortunate beast, they will invite only calamity.”

“That’s...” Not necessarily true. There is livestock out there allowed to live full lives. But they’re exceptions that prove the rule, I suppose. And the fact that I even thought to use a word like allowed... “Woof.”

Tanaka barked back. “This sentimentality only arose because I have not encountered any new beasts. I shall go searching as to put my mind at ease.”

He walked on, and Matsuda found himself following. Tanaka didn’t seem to mind at all. The opposite, in fact.

“There are many creatures I’ve tamed, sharp-tongued one,” Tanaka went on to say. “The Cerberus. The Phoenix. Even then Midgardian Serpent.”

Looks like I was right on the money about him looking up Norse shit. That’s just another fucking word for Earth, asshole. I’ve read enough shitty fantasy manga to know.

“I saw a toucan one time,” he commented in lieu of verbalizing his thoughts. “And I guess there are the seagulls. Or those mascots.”

“Those uncute fiends cannot be trusted with their speech,” Tanaka hissed. “As for the others... Ah, the ravenous, feathered beasts.” Tanaka nodded sagely with approval at that one. “They are a perilous project as they are quite fearless and impulsive. Even when greater threats arise, they gather like a court waiting to hand down judgment.”

I think...that’s more something that crows do rather than seagulls.

He does think about it though, birds judging one another. If he looked up, he’d even see a seagull or two soar overhead. A phrase rose to his mind, unbidden.

When the seagulls cry...

“Hm?” Tanaka paused when he noticed that Matsuda had stopped dead in his tracks. He turned, and whatever expression was on Matsuda’s face—whatever that was had Tanaka clicking his tongue. “What is on your mind?”

“Something stupid,” he grumbled, shaking his head. “Even in peaceful times, I can’t help but worry about how easily things fall apart. Sometimes for something as petty as a broken promise.”

Is it speech alone that gives us the means of betraying one another?

Tanaka did stiffen.

“It sure is fortunate for us that we’ve yet to deal with any storms,” Matsuda went on to say. “In fact, it’s perfect weather every single day. Isn’t that strange? It almost doesn’t feel real, and if it’s not real... Does anything that happens here matter?” He paused again. “Like I said. It’s stupid.”

“Your inane ponderings still have an air of malice,” Tanaka muttered darkly.

Huh.

“Are you saying I’m someone to be on guard around?” He cracked a dry smile. “I’m not that fucking interested in messing with people. I just lack patience.”

Tanaka gave him a look. Wordlessly, he shook his head.

“I think... I will seek solace elsewhere. Do not follow me.”

Matsuda didn’t. Simply watched the other go. It might’ve been one of those annoying situations where the person was saying the exact opposite of what they wanted, but even if he could tell that was the case, he still wouldn’t have followed.

After all.

He lacked patience.

--

Tanaka seemed especially moody today. Although no matter how sullen his air was, the island sun wouldn’t let up in the slightest. In a way, that was pretty cruel, right? In that much light, it made it difficult to hide. Or something like that.

Wonder what he’s being so fucking temperamental about...

Matsuda makes his way over, waving as he does. He stops, however, when Tanaka regards him coldly.

“Matsuda Yasuke,” he rumbled in a gravelly tone of voice. “The sharp-tongued fool whose practices engage in the constitution of the mind... Would you like to duel?”

Huh?

Matsuda dropped his hand.

“...have you finally fucking gone actually insane?” He sighed. “Don’t answer that. No, I don’t want to duel. And if you push it, I’ll leave. I don’t have time for that bullshit.”

Tanaka’s cold stare became more of a glare.

“I’m afraid I do not have such luxury around you,” Tanaka said sharply. “You grind down my defenses with this continued, unsightly association. Despite wearing the face of a human, you, Matsuda Yasuke are...!”

“I’m just human,” Matsuda replied before he could finish. With an unimpressed shrug, he added. “And if you wanted me to stop bothering you, all you had to fucking do was say so.”

“I allowed these exchanges out of a sense of curiosity, arrogantly unheeding the danger,” Tanaka went on, muttering as he did. “Truly, I have been foolish.”

The sun shone down on him. On a day this bright, there wasn’t anyone to hide. Tanaka ‘Gundam’ looked a bit ill. When Matsuda took a step closer, however, he recoiled. With a sharp hiss, Tanaka held up his hand in warning.

Like an agitated cat.

Matsuda drew back with a sigh.

Someone like this—really is so needlessly fucking difficult. And for what? An inflated sense of importance? Wasn’t getting into Hope’s Peak enough?

...if he complained too much, he’d veer uncomfortably close to hypocrisy.

Hope’s Peak was just another step for me, but I wonder what it was for someone like this? Where the hell would he be if he didn’t get in? Honestly—I doubt it would’ve been all that significant.

“Alright,” he said. “Did you get anything out of our interactions at least?”

Tanaka stared at him, but being a normal fucking person without magical powers, Matsuda was more than capable of staring back, unaffected. For some reason, Tanaka did shy back a little.

“I have keenly observed you,” he said lowly. “Namely how your regard only shifts when directed towards creatures already marked for death. I suspect—you are a creature of calamity. The eye of the storm.”

“So, what,” Matsuda drawled. “Like a demon?”

Tanaka hummed, seemingly considering it. “No... That is not quite right.”

“I’m not sure what you mean, then,” Matsuda huffed, waving his hand dismissively. “But—I think I get what you’re saying. I just think it’s funny coming from you—and that you don’t understand.”

Tanaka’s stare blazed with an offense, and Matsuda paid no heed at all.

“How I regard creatures marked for death...” Matsuda snorted. “I’m a fucking doctor. Obviously, I treat them differently. It’s part of my fucking job.”

Although he’s referring to the cow, isn’t he? Seriously...

“I guess it’s weird,” he admitted. “With how shitty of an attitude I have. But I take my job seriously. If you can’t get something that simple, then your Evil All-Seeing Eye is pretty fucking lacking.”

“You...” Tanaka growled. “You’re truly impertinent. You wield your blade recklessly and foolishly. You and I both know—that it runs deeper than mere duty for you, Matsuda Yasuke.”

...so what if it does?

He supposes he should be impressed that Tanaka isn’t that fucking dense. That the animal freak is, in fact, a little perceptive.

Smiling mirthlessly, Matsuda reached out to pat the flinching other’s shoulder. He gripped him for just a moment.

“That’s all you need to know about me,” he murmured into Tanaka’s ear before pulling back. “I think we’re at enough of an understanding. Thanks for your time.” He gave a salute as he headed on his way. “We don’t need to talk again. We especially don’t need to duel. Have a wonderful fucking day.”

“One day,” Tanaka swore. “You will meet your cruel, disastrous end. That is the decree of the Tanaka Kingdom!” As Matsuda got further away, Tanaka boomed after him. “Mark my words, sharp-tongued FOOL! You are MARKED for des—!”

It was such a headache that Matsuda tuned him out. But as he found himself alone, he did wonder.

Marked for destruction? Or something else? Despite all that time, rather than growing close, that weirdo is now convinced that I’m hopeless. He might be right. Actually, I’d still consider us closer if he can recognize that. I still don’t really care. I don’t.

He walked on, moving forward because he had nowhere else to go.

Decree. What a fucking riot. If I do die, it won’t be because of an idiot like him. But whatever makes him feel better I suppose.

Matsuda shook his head, brushing the whole thing aside except...

If I die... It won’t be until I reach the very fucking pits. I won’t settle for anything less.

[shrike-nest]

D&D Character Ask Post

In Honor of D&D, Here are 100 Questions answered about my character Alistair. Done from a prompt reposted by @mechmech and @scatterpatter , and also gonna tag my DM @aerial-ace97

What Does He Smell like: Ozone, Sandalwood, Pine

Voice: A light baritone, sometimes slipping into a bit of a lit from his native island (similar to a Scottish brogue/Irish lit)

Motivator: Before he met his group? Power and Adrenaline. Now? Redemption.

Most embarrassing memory: (TW: Animal Death) He doesn’t really remember this as he was terribly drunk at the time, but he and his crew stopped in a city that held goats as a sacred animal. With a terribly “bright” idea, he wondered how far a goat could fly? Because goats fly. Throws the goat off of the third floor of a building. Then proceeds to have a not very respectful Coffin Dance-style funeral for said goat.

How does he react to pain: Lots of swearing and anger.

What does he wear: He wears dragon scale armor that has three deep gouges in it from where he was previously killed. A faded and slightly ragged admiral style coat on top, leather breeches, and give this man some high calf pirate boots. He also always wears a green headband to keep his hair back, and occasionally an eyepatch to hide his demonic eye.

Most positive relationship: In terms of character development, it might be Torvid, as Torvid inspires Alistair to be a better moral person. In terms of wholesomeness? His partner/hopefully soon fiancé, Atwater. Atwater was able to show Alistair that he can have positive love in his life, without having to fight so hard for it.

The weirdest thing he has ever eaten: Corren’s cooking

Sleep: He suffers from nightmares and now more recently night terrors. Because he technically doesn’t need to sleep from effects of his class, he often chooses not to. However, when he does sleep, he sleeps hard, snores lightly, and octopus cuddles anything in his bed.

Favorite food/ kinda food: He actually really loves a dish similar to pao de queijo (Brazillian Cheese Bread).

Most insecure about: His ability of being a leader.

Like to wear: He enjoys fairly tight fitting clothing to prevent too much flapping when he flies or moves around quickly.

How do they react to feelings of guilt: Denial and self doubt

React to betrayal: A very quick and violent anger that chills to a long lasting and cold hatred. He doesn’t forgive easily.

Greatest achievement: After being mutinied against by his former crew, being wanted and supported as a leader for his current adventuring party

Too little sleep: Pretty robotic, but he doesn’t get exhausted anymore or feel any physical effects of not getting sleep due to his class.

What are they like drunk: He’s a very cheerful and boisterous drunk. Makes and laughs at many jokes. Can fall into a melancholy pretty easily though if he thinks on certain thoughts too long. Deflects with humor!

Music likes: 80s hair band music, and 70s-80s rock.

Right or left-handed: Right handed

Fears: He’s claustrophobic, but also has a fear of being vulnerable and getting his heart broken again.

Favorite weather: Sunny Day with a slight chill.

Favorite color: He really likes blue.

Collect anything: Well technically he used to collect gold and other high priced artifacts. He doesn’t really collect anything anymore.

Hot or cold weather: This man controls the weather. He enjoys his thermostat of life to be at a nice 70 degrees F.

Eye color: His natural eye color is an emerald green. His left eye is a demon cat eye, with a gold iris and black sclera.

Race/ ethnicity: He’s a human in the world of Sekrezia, but in IRL, he’s probably northern UK.

Hair color: Ginger/Auburn, with some sun-bleached streaks in it.

Happy where they are currently: … Well his adopted sister and brother just died in the last game so nah. BUT- as kind of a whole, he’s happy to be where he is now as a person compared to how he used to be.

Morning person: Yup. He tends to wake with the sun if he sleeps, and once he’s awake- he’s awake.

Sunrise or sunset: He loves the sunset. It calms and amazes him that he survived another day.

Messy or organized: He’s messy. Kind of an ADHD procrastination kind of messy.

Pet peeves: Disloyalty, undeserved ego trips, other weather veins that mess with his control of the weather,

Objects of significant importance: O’Malley, his halberd. He earned his weapon when he became a captain, and it has saved his life numerous times after.

Least favorite food: After being stuck in a cave for over a year? Anything with mushrooms.

Least favorite color: He’s not a fan of dark reds or browns. Reminds him too much of dried blood. (oooh edgelord)

Least favorite smell: Cauterized Flesh, Rotting Fish

The last time they cried: Last game. But before that? When he found out that Torvid killed his father. Before before that? When Atwater died. Before before before that? When he woke up alone in the desert after the mutiny.

Were they with anyone when they cried: His party. His party and both sides of the war that was going on. And no one.

One time they got injured: He actually died in a fight with a dragon, not with the dragon, but with a bat crony of the dragon.

Scars: He’s got a scar in the shape of a jagged p on his right cheek, a claw scar from when his eye was gouged out, and he also has the marks from the bat crony when he died. Alistair also has lightning scars on his arms that led to minor nerve damage that occurred when he first was learning how to use his magic.

Mental health issues: ADHD, Depression, Anxiety

Bad habits: Lashing out when he doesn’t know how to process his emotions

Why might someone dislike him: … Lemme get the list. So if we ignore the fact that he used to be a feared sky pirate, earning the nickname “Orphaner of the Skies”… he can be a flippant asshole sometimes. He can often forget to stay in touch and update people on important topics. Also, some may dislike him because he insists on being their dad (*cough* CORREN *cough*)

Why might someone love him: Alistair is very loyal to those he trusts and he can often fall into caretaker type tendencies.

Believe in ghosts: Yeah. He’s seen them and fought them. Also dated one.

Anyone they would trust with their life: Mecha, Corren, Tristan, Atwater, Jerry, Mephistopheles, and Torvid.

Romantically interested in anyone: Atwater!

Dating/ Married: He is currently dating Atwater

Like surprises: Not really

Birthday: His weave day is in Summer, Sibelya 13th.

Celebrate their birthday: He used to. Doesn’t really anymore, mostly because he hasn’t had much reason to celebrate or the time.

Family: His parents are dead, but he still has his adopted aunt Imelda. He also views Tristan as his brother, Corren as his little brother, Mecha as his sister. Atwater is his romantic partner, and he is now the step father of Atwater’s child, Crestwell. He also is the adopted father of Liam (deceased) and Liam’s twin sister, Serana.

Close to their family: Yes

MBTI type: ENTP

Zodiac signs: His Sekrezian Sign is Xamatang, The Coming Storm

Hogwarts house: Gryffindor

Alignment; Chaotic Neutral but he’s steadily making his way towards Chaotic Good

Nightmares: Yes. Often about his ex, Ghost. He also has nightmares about losing those he considers family.

View on death: If it happens, it happens. Once someone is at peace, leave them be.

Something they always laugh at: Seeing his group smile and joke around.

When bored, what do they do: Fly, tinker with magic, practice magic, research magic.

Enjoy the outside: Very much so.

Accent: I can’t replicate it, but I imagine it’s somewhere between a Scottish and Irish accent. However it has faded as he hasn’t been home in a very long time.

Upon seeing a slice of chocolate cake, the first reaction: *Poke it*, *Look at it*, *Look around*… *Shrug*, My cake now.

If they knew they were going to die what would they do/ say: He would find his party, if he can- gives them hugs, and hopefully be able to die watching the sunset. “Find what makes you happy and hold on to it. You all deserve to have happiness in your lives.”

Feelings about sex: He likes it. He also has a pretty damn high libido.

Sexuality: Bisexual

Squeamish around blood: Somewhat. It makes him uncomfortable now because he’s scared that he likes the sight of it still.

Anything they find gross: Rotting bodies and decaying bodies.

TV trope: Father Figure, Tragic Backstory, Anti-Hero

Enjoy helping people: Yes, he finds it comforting, like a form of redemption.

Allergies: Minor shellfish allergy

Pet: Does Meph count as a pet? I mean, he usually hangs around Alistair as a cat.

Quick to anger: Depends on the situation, but yes.

How patient is he: Not very. He gets very jittery and anxious easily. He’s getting slightly better at that.

Good at cooking: Somewhat, he tends to overdo it on the spice.

Favorite insult:” It’s cute when you try.”

How do they act when happy: The biggest doofiest smile, and he can’t help but laugh occasionally.

What do they do when they learn about others’ fears: He keeps it secret, but tends to go out of his way to help them through it, or help them avoid their fears.

Trustworthy: If you earn his trust, yes. A million times in return.

Do they try to hide their emotions: If it benefits him? Yes. And he’s damn good at it. But if he feels it’s not necessary to do so, his heart is on his sleeve.

Exercise regularly: Yes. His constitution is ridiculous and so he often finds ways to keep up and improve his stamina and strength even further.

Comfortable with the way they look: Yeah. He can get a lil cocky about it. But this is a man who uses bar soap on his hair.

Features they find attractive on others: Eyes and hands.

Personalities they find attractive: He likes those that can keep up with him intellectually, but also on a wittier level as well. He really views self-confidence as attractive.

Do they like sweet foods: Yes.

Age: He just turned 42.

Tall or short: He’s 6’0”

Glasses or contacts: Nah

Consider herself attractive: Yup

Sense of humor: Sexual humor, dad jokes ftw, but can also throw in some dark and self-deprecating humor nowadays.

What mood are they in most often: Most recently, a sort of determined melancholia. But he used to be very self-assured, confident, and flippant.

What angers them: Child abuse, betrayal, hurting those he cares about.

Outlook on life: “Just keep going. Roll with the punches. Because that sun is going to rise again, and you’re going to get to try again, try something new, find something new.”

What makes them sad or depressed: Thinking of those he has lost, thinking of Ghost, falling into his own insecurities.

Greatest weakness: He often jumps into situations without thinking them through. He tends to be very “leap before he looks”

Greatest strength: His determination and resiliency

Something they regret: Losing contact with his crew and Imelda, not being a better leader in his eyes, his past of piracy, and in some ways- all his deals with Mephistopheles, even the one that granted him his magic.

Biggest accomplishment: Isn’t this the same as greatest achievement?

Favorite memory: Sitting by the campfire with his group and all of them laughing, joking, and smiling with each other. With the good ol occasional ribbing at Corren’s expense.

[brujahinaskirt]

@missn11​ says:

Ask and ye shall receive, fellow neonate! <3 Bear with me, because I’m about to hammer out 2000 words very quickly...

This massive rant by its topic nature is sort of Nines-critical, so lemme start by saying that, in my own way, I love Rodriguez. (I was partially self-burning in the shitpost that ignited this rant because I SEVERELY exaggerated Nines’s canonical shadiness levels in my ancient fanfiction, and for no other reason than because I was a teenage edgelord. I am appropriately embarrassed, but only by my excess and melodrama, not by Troika’s characterization. I think the writing behind VTMB’s Nines is superb.)

When it comes to Bloodlines, I think he’s one of the most psychologically interesting profiles in the game. In fact, I could never get into LA by Night because they so de-toothed Troika’s vision of him. Not to say LA by Night’s Nines was a poorly-developed character in his own right, ‘cause he wasn’t at all, but “my” Nines will always be unapologetically and only Troika’s: boiling angry, viciously pragmatic, a survivor who doesn’t let anyone too close lest they see through him, whose over-the-top confident façade cracks a little more every time his back’s against the wall. Troika’s Nines is the epitome of greater VTM’s “fallen rebel” archetype, and even though we don’t get to see it on all playthoughs, that makes it even better and more believable.

But as with all characterization in Bloodlines, we have to read between the lines and between our own play styles a bit to piece the truth of the puzzle together...

Besides the direct evidence Troika gives us—i.e. the music cues, which are a bit overbearing if I’m honest (sorry, Troika! ilu); the absence of Nines in Rosa’s prophecy re: people you can trust; and the overt warnings Camarilla-aligned characters give us about him—the biggest red flag about Rodriguez, imo? It’s twofold:

the way the characters he surrounds himself with talk about him and the type of vampire he chooses to fill his den. Namely: Nines exclusively recruits angry, spurned, mistreated people who are younger and far less experienced than he is

those messy, ugly, fleeting moments where you see his toughguy everyman personality crack

So! Starting with point one:

THE PERSONALITY CULT ITSELF

We can’t deny that Nines does not surround himself with peers. He surrounds himself with followers—people who don’t challenge him in any way, who are fanatically loyal, who openly profess their worship of him and their conviction he could never/would never do anything wrong. If you listen to how Damsel and Skelter talk about him, it’s with frightening adulation, often repeating Nines’s lines word-for-word without truly understanding the argumentation behind them. (Damsel’s the main offender here with her “IT’S A PYRAMID SCHEME… it just makes sense, you know? It just makes sense!” And then, of course, she gets pissed and refuses to speak to you when you push her into elaborating.)

Nines has clearly made himself much more than just a friend-figure or a Sire-figure to them. He’s utterly and completely mythologized by the LA Anarchs, held up next to other politically mythologized names like George Washington and Ho Chi Minh. His followers love him… but there’s a pecking order, and like good body shields, they believe their lives don’t matter as much as he matters. And they love that, too. They want to die for Nines. They’re not just willing to or resigned to it; they’re eager to die. Damsel will volunteer this information the first time you meet her. She just can’t wait to prove herself by taking a bullet for goddamn Nines Rodriguez. It’s literally how she introduces herself to new people.

And yet Nines deliberately withholds his attention and time from his followers. He uses his attention as a reward, as incentive. He rations some care and reassurance and help—makes you feel good and gives you reason to crave his attention—and then he pushes you away, back into his adoring ranks until the next “two minutes” you earn from him in which you’re special enough for such an exceptional, important, cool guy to talk to. That’s a classic manipulation tactic, and a classic personality cult tell.

And Troika is so damn fuckin’ brilliant about it because they don’t stop at showing us that an Anarch-aligned fledgling might feel this way—no, they make the PLAYER also feel this way. On our first playthrough of Bloodlines, we’re desperate to talk to Nines. We want the reward. “Let me finish the plaguebearer quests… let me run to the Elizabeth Dane… I hope Nines talks to me again now! Quick, to the Last Round! Maybe if I say the right thing to make him like me, he’ll give me another free EXPERIENCE POINT!” (iirc he’s one of two characters who will do so, and the only one who gives multiple points.)

But at the end of the day, Nines is indisputably the leader of the Anarchs, and even fledgling figures that out. (“Sounds like you’re the Prince of the Anarchs.”) He’s very much the Baron of Downtown LA, even if he won’t use that language. As for the grating day-to-day management and leadership stuff that might make him somewhat unpopular among the Anarchs, though? He fobs all that stuff off on Damsel!

Damsel, his Minion No. 1—whom a lot of players will hate on their early playthroughs, because she assigns tough missions with little to no reward. Damsel, who has no real power role in the Anarchs and functions only to serve Nines. You help Damsel, and you do Nines’s work—i.e. you do the work of the Barony of LA—and he doesn’t even have to take the admiration hit by having to ask you himself.

There’s only one non-follower of note around Nines. It’s Jack, and by his own words, he’s not one of Nines’s people; he disparages them, in fact. And we’ll notice that Jack—who is stronger, older, and wiser than Nines—very much doesn’t talk about Nines the same way Nines’s followers do. While Jack doesn’t directly insult him and occasionally defends him, Jack also has a downright shocking response to the announcement of the Blood Hunt. When fledgling desperately asks what they can do to help Nines—Jack says, word-for-word: I could give a damn.

Something ain’t quite right about this place.

Moving right along:

NINES IS A FAKE ALPHA MALE WHO KNOWS HE’S GOING TO DIE

Part of why Nines is so attractive to someone scared and weak like our fledgling (or Skelter or Damsel) is that he seems utterly fucking untouchable—like nothing scares him, and that must be reassuring when two of your age-old enemies are moving into town. But Nines’s tough, cool, Devil-may-care persona outs itself as a protective shell, too… and this is another thing I think Troika handled so subtly and so well.

You’ll notice that even Nines’s voice is dramatically different in a couple different situations: when Ming Xiao is borrowing his body, when he’s afraid, and when he’s distracted or deeply disturbed. (A successful Malkavian mind read will really slam a crack in his coolguy persona. For a second, the nonchalance shatters and he childishly screams SHUT UP!)

But whether you Malk him or not: In those isolated moments, the Coolguy Nines Rodriguez we normally see frays. Physically, even! His accent loses its burr (that ballsy rural American everyman accent), shoots up to a higher register—and reveals a much softer voice than the one he uses in front of other people. No wonder; part of Nines’s charisma comes from his performance of masculine confidence, and even if it’s not a toxically patriarchal masculinity in the way we often picture it, the fact this performance cracks at all shows it’s not his genuine self. He’s acting. In the way a lot of toughguy men do—but for Nines, whose survival depends upon attraction now, he’s acting toughguy for his very life.

I think those little fray-under-pressure moments are the “real” Nines, or as close as we’re going to get: scared, desperate, worn-down, and very aware of his doom.

Now, all that said…

BLATANT FALLEN REBEL CONCEPT APOLOGISM

I don’t think we can quite throw Rodriguez into the same Mean Monster Morality Dungeon for Evil Vampires as other Big Bads in LA. This is where motivation comes into play, at least for me. We know Nines can be merciless and violent, and he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his own soldiers (namely, um, US!) to protect his holdings. But he does seem to have a twinge of genuine anger over injustices wrought upon “little people” (look no further than Nocturne)—one that seems like it stems from a sense of right v. wrong rather than sheer pragmatism. This stands in stark opposition to the rationed pacificism of characters like LaCroix, who simply doesn’t want the headache of cleaning up a pile of dead humans on his nightly to-do list.

Nines also, of course, just doesn’t have the same kind of disaster reach other Bloodlines Big Bads do in how much harm he can cause. When LaCroix gets up to some bullshit, he crashes the national economy. Nines, like, crashes a car into a corporate office window or takes over a street or something. Can’t really compare the two when it comes to the scale of damage done.

And even Nines Rodriguez is, for all his strategy, still an honestly angry person. Not all of him is fake—what’s troubling about him is what he’s willing to sacrifice and do to satiate his anger-passion. It’s the standard Brujah emotional-moral struggle. Even though I agree with much of what he says about bloodsucking late capitalist vampires (tbh he seems to hate vampires in general!), one wonders if it’s not partially the anger-passion that’s warped him into the façade of a noble leader he’s become. It’s not a pure anger anymore; he’s weaponized it in selfish, unhealthy, destructive ways.

But if he’s a fallen rebel—and since he is still apparently capable of some genuine anger and sadness—then we can infer he wasn’t always like this. He fell, and narratively, that’s key to understanding Clan Brujah. Maybe he fell in a way all of us angry rebel-types risk falling if we let our hatred of the bloodsuckers in real life outgrow and consume our care for the real-world little people.

I think we also have to appreciate that—as far as we know—the shady shit Nines does, he primarily does to prolong his power. But for a threatened Anarch like Nines, power doesn’t mean expansion or accumulation as it might for an ascending Ventrue; it primarily means survival. The Camarilla and Kuei-jin incursions into LA have numbered his days, and he can’t possibly have any delusions about this, no matter how much he swaggers. So he does what he can do with the skills and limited resources he has. He corrupts vulnerable, angry, abused people by giving them the appearance of friendship, family, and hope they can become stronger—much like effective gang leaders do.

If he’s morally nastier than other power-players like LaCroix in some way, imo, it’s here. It’s the intimacy with which he manipulates the people around him. LaCroix may lie to you; Strauss may withhold information from you; Ming Xiao may double-cross you. But none of them ask that you love them. That’s not their goal; that’s not how they operate. None of them expect or encourage anyone to happily die for them of their own free will. If they get you killed, you’ll die resenting them—resenting that you had to die, at all.

But when you die for people like Nines Rodriguez, you do it willingly, if only because you believed he cared somehow and that he’d fight tooth-and-nail for you, too. You believed that you were a member of his little outcast family—or that you would be, if you just proved yourself a little bit more. If you just fought a little harder. If you were just a little happier about having the chance to die for the cause. Maybe if you die for Nines, then Nines will love you, too.

I don’t think he does. I don’t think he will. If he’s a true fallen rebel archetype, I don’t know if he can anymore.

That’s enough Anarchs for now! I’m gonna peace out with some copy/pasted lyrics from the theme song of Nines’s den: the ballad of the charming and vengeful Lecher Bitch. Stay sharp, my little Bloodlines fanatics!

Tell me your story Don't worry, I've been there Crown me your savior Don't worry, I'll be there

[Chorus] I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay I'm diggin' all the way All the way down I said hey You're coming all the way I've got some hell to pay Gonna rip you every way On the way down again [Bridge] Don't belong lording above me Won't be hard to pull you underground It won't be long 'til you love me And I'll be coming at your back To break it down

[robotslenderman]

Eternal Hearts Liveblog: Part 4: Chapter 7-8

An actual thing I told a friend when I started this draft: “These chapters have been a real let down in comparison [to the face-sitting/dick-key-ring guy chapter]. Altho I’m on the necrophilia chapter now so things are looking up!”

And we start off with a body in the trunk.

RIP Charley.

Don’t worry, he’s not the body involved with the necrophilia, because it wouldn’t be problematic enough otherwise.

WARNING: DEAD DOVE, DO NOT EAT! This a liveblog of Eternal Hearts, which is a book that got de-canoned about a week after publication for good fucking reason!

Today’s warnings are: Necrophilia, necrophiliac rape (”but Dusty, isn’t necrophilia by definition rape?” buddy I didn’t say the corpse was the one not consenting. This is, like, rape squared), fridged WLWs (I wish that was the worst thing that happened to this particular WLW), me pretending Sascha Vykos has a period kink until Lucy refuses to let me lie to myself any longer (it makes sense in context. Unfortunately), corrective rape mention, and the current chew toy of the universe getting kidnapped after we know somebody’s been hinting about wanting to rape her (not Becca).

Yeah it’s rape all the way down.

This chapter is worse than usual. At least dick keyring guy was funny, this chapter’s just...

dear fucking god shoot me now. “The necrophilia chapter” does not prepare you for what is coming (it’s not me. I’m not coming. I’m as dry as the Sahara)

Godspeed, you poor bastard. May god welcome you through the Pearly Gates, although I’m not sure Heaven exists in this shitty shitty universe.

Oh yeah and he wants to murder Becca, clearly.

Trust me, Lucy. WE KNOW. Dude’s gotten laid twice and all he can think about is his sister and it’s the only way he can get off, ewwwww.

Like -- full disclosure? Brother/sister incest, when consensual, has never really fazed me at all. There’s way sicker shit out there (see: this entire fucking novel) than two adults consensually fucking and I really don’t care. “Ooooh, they’re ~*~SIBLINGS~*~, aren’t I an edgelord?” no man I honestly don’t give a shit.

But there’s that, and then there’s... this.

Touching David’s dick or being forced to touch his dick is gross no matter how distant you both are in the gene pool.

Poor Becca. Poor, poor Becca.

Jesus fucking Christ. Do I really need to comment on this one?

David reminisces on his first rapes of Becca. He uses the word “nymphet” which, if you’re well read enough, you’ll recognise as the same word Humbert Humbert uses to describe Dolores in Lolita, specifically a word that he used to describe sexually attractive (to him, mind) ~13YOs.

So he raped her that night and ofc he thought she liked it (which is why he’s calling it “rape”, obviously). Loud sigh. And we get descriptions of the rapes -- Becca takes escalating precautions to protect herself up until she threatens him with a knife, at which point the rapes stop. Because nothing says “I wanna have sex with you” like locking your door and threatening your bro with a knife.

So he’s raped her three times.

Now he wants revenge for her telling Emmet to check him into rehab. Specifically, revenge with his dick.

So David goes to Becca’s house, presumably to rape her, because that’s all he can fucking think about. He is hyperfocused on this bullshit.

Luckily for both Becca, there’s nobody there. Except the girlfriend, who’s dead, because the poor fuck got stuck in a room with Sascha fucking Vykos. And a creepy AF vampire.

(David briefly fantasises about Emmet and Becca banging each other bc... Reasons I guess???)

Anyway, David breaks in and meets a creepy vampire.

Look, let me tell you upfront here, spoilers galore: the Eternal Hearts wiki page lied. This isn’t actually Isabel, it’s Sascha, even though “Isabel” hears a sound and calls out to “Sascha”, thinking it’s Sascha, because of... idk, Reasons???

Look, consistency isn’t this book’s strong point, okay?

Anyway they’re Sascha Vykos, not Isabel, but we don’t actually find that out ‘til chapter nine. So Sascha’s hanging out there, pretending to be Isabel, and is like “ohh hey, I heard a noise, is it... ME???”

Oh yeah, and “Isabel” has beheaded Becca’s girlfriend and is drinking the blood out of the severed head like an edgelord.

I’m choosing to believe that Sascha Vykos brought a blood bag over to indulge a period kink and that the blood between their thighs has nothing to do with the severed head they were just sucking on.

(Blame the author, not me, I’m just the fucking messenger.)

Saschabel starts masturbating. With their fingers. I think it’s really important to stress that they’re using their fingers, given what’s coming up later.

They know David is watching, they’re taunting him. They also think the poor corpse is Becca and are like “hey why don’t you eat me out and taste your sister’s blood?” because Saschabel just HAPPENED TO HAVE A BLOOD BAG IN IT WITH BECCA’S BLOOD LA LA LA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

Even David is like “yeah, no.” And also has a surprising amount of sense:

And then:

BLOOD BAGS ARE GREAT FOR PERIOD KINKS AM I RIGHT

Aaaaand then Saschabel grabs the severed head and then starts --

oh

oh

AAAUGH

OH GOD

WHY

WHY

WHYYYYYYYY

There goes the blood bag/period kink idea. God fucking DAMN IT. You couldn’t let me just HAVE THIS for ONCE, could you, Eternal Hearts?!?!

David realises that the corpse isn’t Becca because its (her? fuck) tits aren’t big enough. Also he has a huge boner. Saschabel has noted this fact.

Saschabel also somehow knows that David wants to bone his sister, because...??? idk. Auspex or something.

and uh

then David starts making out with them.

?????????????????????????????????????????

because what Saschabel was just doing was... really hot? yeah nothing turns David on like corpsefucking I guess. And also lapping up the blood on Sascha’s stomach. dear god dude you’re not even a vampire what the fuck you’ve got NO EXCUSE.

David is about to screw Saschabel senseless but Saschabel is like “lol, no, you’re gonna do the corpse first.”

David is like WHAT.

Saschabel is like “(:” and also makes a pun about heads.

Honestly that terrible pun is the most tasteful part of this whole chapter.

(Actually no, scratch that, Saschabel compares David’s expression to an “untipped waiter” and that is genuinely funny. Dude’s about to be raped by proxy with a corpse and his reaction is compared to an untipped waiter.)

(Yeah that isn’t funny at all but look, if I don’t laugh I’ll cry so I’m choosing to laugh.)

David finally gives in to Saschabel’s threats and goes to town and we get to hear about it in sordid detail, which I will spare you. And thankfully, after an explicit couple of paragraphs, we cut to chapter fucking eight!

Thank. Fucking. CHRIST.

This chapter introduces us to Tony, who is a vampire hunter because he’s an adrenaline junky.

Tony daydreams about his guns, then gets horny:

Dude don’t fuck your prey, that’s just --

I changed my mind, fuck your prey as much as you like, it’s gonna be less rapey than this insinuation because at least if you rape a vampire they’ll rape you right back so we won’t feel as gross.

We cut to Odette, the woman Tony is thinking rapey thoughts about, who’s tailing Lucita and thinking about how she could run like hell right now if she wanted.

(PLEASE, RUN. RUNNN. RUN FAR AWAAAAAY)

And then she gets a flashback about being raped by a camp counselor, because... idk why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is actually really sad, because Odette is absolutely torn about running away from Victoria -- wanting to be free, but also too scared to leave, and too devoted to Victoria to leave. And also Victoria’s clearly been using Auspex on her, and Odette is scared of her mind reading powers.

Lucita seems to spot Odette, and turns around and heads towards her. But before she can reach Odette:

I presume this is Tony, the guy who wants to rape her.

Poor fucking goddamn Odette.

End chapter eight!

[itsbenedict]

Two-Faced Jewel: Session 5

A half-elf conwoman (and the moth tasked with keeping her out of trouble) travel the Jewel in search of, uh, whatever a fashionable accessory is pointing them at. [Campaign log]

Caught up in a blood feud between the villages of Wheat and Barley, Saelhen and Looseleaf are tasked with investigating a recent death. Their investigation takes them to a spooky tower owned by the local crazy torture wizard, which- hey, why was this guy not considered a suspect, huh? He's a crazy torture wizard!

Last time, the group was introduced to Malath Kanthalga, matron cleric of the village of Barley. She has no trust for outsiders- but she was willing to let Looseleaf lend a hand in proving once and for all that the scoundrels of Wheat were responsible for the recent murders.

To that end, the party is led a ways down the road to the farmstead of Roos and Gera Nicksickle, an elderly halfling couple which was recently slain.

En route, Looseleaf sizes up the farmers Malath has been arming, to see if any of them seem to have combat experience. There's one lizardfolk farmer who seems more comfortable with the armor, and holds his pitchfork like a spear. She makes a note of that.

They arrive, and are met by Lester Jawhold, a doughy-looking human man who's standing guard over the body out in the field, accompanied by a number of vicious-looking hounds. With permission to search the crime scene, some investigationing occurs.

Saelhen gets some basic details- the body was pierced through the chest with a four-pronged weapon, as described. Plus, there are the remains of hastily-erased footprints in the dusty soil- bootprints, it seems.

Looseleaf uses her animism magic to get a more direct picture of the incident. The corpse, recently dead, has a dead-corpse spirit that retains some information thanks to the emotionally volatile nature of recent events. The cause of death... being suddenly pierced through the heart, from the front, by a strange four-pointed weapon that induced extreme pain. It appeared to strike from out of thin air. Nothing about the corpse indicates a memory of seeing an assailant.

Indoors, the other victim, Gera, is found dead on the floor of the kitchen. It seems like the cause of death is the same, but... Looseleaf's animism reveals that her vital organs are intact, and she appears to have died of shock from the extreme pain.

All Saelhen finds from searching the house is... an empty cupboard with a recently-unlocked lock, and a mattress removed from its bed. Plus some of the same bootprints from outside.

Looseleaf has the idea to search the house for the victims' boots, to compare with the prints found outside. And what the search reveals is... there are no boots. They didn't own any. They were halflings. So their house being covered in dusty bootprints... well, it implies someone else was here and murdered them, which rules out the "a weird knife sort of inexplicably teleported into their chests" theory, at least.

The only real clue they have to go on is the extreme pain experienced by the victims. This suggests...

Malath gives a little exposition on the torture wizard- apparently he considers himself a savior, who through his experiments intends to vanquish pain itself- and surely torturing a few unwilling test subjects will be worth it, if he succeeds. Malath doesn't seem to consider it likely that Lumiere is the culprit, for the same reasons as Thalath- but jokingly suggests that perhaps Lumiere might have some information on who stole his torture tools to commit murder with.

Looseleaf: "So," Looseleaf asks, "if we're going to the tower wherein dwells a torture wizard, what can you tell us about what we might expect to face there? Ravenous horrific alchemical experiments ready to eat our faces? Traps? Magical servitors? A portal to another realm full of horrors?" Benedict I. (GM): She looks briefly surprised. "No, I... though I haven't been victim to him myself, I would warn strongly against confronting Lumiere, unless you're all much more seasoned than you look. None from our village have been able to resist him when he decided our consent was no longer worth trying to wrest from us." "Those who have been inside the tower might have more information for you, if you're fool enough to try." Looseleaf: "Well, team, you've heard the mission dossier, I guess. Do we think we're fool enough to try?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: Saelhen Fishercrown is not fool enough to try. Unfortunately, Saelhen isn't getting to be Saelhen right now. "...I imagine that we have no other recourse." Benedict I. (GM): Vayen looks... almost gleeful, insofar as his face betrays any expression. Looseleaf: Thanks for the vote of creepiness, edgelord.

Saelhen opts to kill annoying helicopters with one stone, and suggests that the team split up to gather information on the tower from the townspeople. She also suggests that Malath personally keep an eye on Vayen, as the least-trustworthy-seeming member of the group. Good persuasion means it works, and Vayen goes off to interrogate Lester Jawhold while the rest of the team heads into town to ask around about Lumiere's past victims.

First, on the way back to town, they speak with Chitch Ssarzar, the lizardfolk with the apparent military background. He's got one hell of a sob story for them!

Saelhen du Fishercrown: 24 PERSUASION (8) all i do is win Benedict I. (GM): That'll do it- Chitch is pretty horrified at the implication that you're actually trying this, but with sufficient reassurance, he'll spill his guts. He came to Grain back when it was just Grain, twenty-odd years ago, hoping to raise his infant daughter somewhere less dangerous than the Cutthroat Islands. Then, during the fire, his daughter was kidnapped by the wizard, and he tried storming the tower to get her back. He got captured, strapped to a rack, and had his flesh flensed and healed and flensed and healed repeatedly. At one point he thought he'd get a reprieve, when the wizard's teakettle went off and he went downstairs to get some tea- but the flensing knives just kept going, by themselves, without stopping. He never saw his daughter again. He was eventually released, and thanked for his service, and by that point he was too traumatized to ask Lumiere what happened to his daughter, in case it provoked him to torture him more. He's pretty wracked with guilt over the situation.

They get a rough description of the first few floors of the tower, up to the torture room. Plus, some exposition on the town's history:

Looseleaf: Okay. More questions: this time, asking about the town. It was called Grain, once? It split into two towns and now Barley hates Wheat? There was a fire? How did this all come to happen such that a single town turned in on itself? Benedict I. (GM): Yes- either 28 or 29 years ago, he forgets exactly, there was some feuding between farmers growing different crops. The ones with less fertile soil, sandier towards the southeast and closer to the mountains, had some kind of grudge against the landowners with more fertile soil, and it was this whole political infighting nightmare he didn't understand, as he was new in town. Then the dragon attacked, and... he's not entirely sure what happened, because accusations were flying left and right, but apparently some people tried to use the dragon attack as cover to commit arson against their enemies? Saelhen du Fishercrown: DRAGON Looseleaf: A FUCKING DRAGON Benedict I. (GM): And most of the town burned down, and when it came time to rebuild, nobody wanted to build near each other- and there was some sort of weird religious split between Family and Harmony so that most of the Harmony people decided to go grow wheat on the worse land, and the Family people went to go grow barley on the better land. He'd never been super involved with the split, as a newcomer, and spent the early rebuilding period being tortured- Barley was just the closest civilization after he was set free. Looseleaf: Mmmmm. A tragedy, all around, gods-damn. Saelhen du Fishercrown: caused by a dragon. a dragedy, if you will.

Then it's off to visit the innkeeper, Cassie Zeishus.

Benedict I. (GM): When you reach the inn, you meet Cassie Zeishus, the innkeeper. She tells you about the time she visited the torture wizard to see if her husband was there. Looseleaf: Oh, yeah, you know. Just, a conjugal visit. To the torture tower. Benedict I. (GM): Apparently her husband, kind of a good-for-nothing out-of-towner she married largely as a charity case, kept on gambling and trying to sleep around and doing general sleazy vice stuff, and was miserable in a town that didn't want to indulge him- and she's pretty sure he faked getting kidnapped by the torture wizard to escape it. Saelhen du Fishercrown: as one does definitely not victim-blaming Benedict I. (GM): This was corroborated by Lumiere quite pleasantly answering the door and telling her no, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of this Arnie fellow, and would she like to come in for tea? And her saying no, no thank you, and walking away. Looseleaf: Huh. Benedict I. (GM): She doesn't know why the guy let her leave, despite a propensity for forcing people inside and torturing them in the past. She chalks it up to having been very intimidating towards him.

Saelhen also tries to inquire about Kensa, Thalath's sister, who's apparently in some sort of dire straits here. She doesn't want to give away that she's asking about Kensa deliberately, so she takes something of a garden path of conversation, about Malath and why the townsfolk call her "Mother". Eventually she gets to Kensa, who apparently weaves cloth and sells it to the general store, where she can be found around this time of day. (She's apparently got something going on with the shopkeep's son.)

Looseleaf: these affairs might not be something we can intervene constructively in. Saelhen du Fishercrown: I mean, Saelhen's definitely abducting this child Looseleaf: gosh, well, when you put it that way, how could we not. Saelhen du Fishercrown: let's visit the general store! saelhen enjoys cloth.

At the general store, they find... not really any evidence that anything bad is going on with Kensa. She seems... fine? Also six feet tall and jacked as hell, because she's a goliath and their twelve-year-olds are just like that?

Kensa notices Lady Noeru de la Surplus' fancy silk dress, and fangirls over it immediately.

Benedict I. (GM): "Whoa, is that silk?" "I don't know if we have any silk in the back, but-" "Silk?" the girl by the window asks. "Ohmigosh, you have a silk dress? Ohmigosh, how much did it cost?" Saelhen du Fishercrown: "Ah." Saelhen expected a little more resistance than this! "15 gold, when I bought it." Benedict I. (GM): "Whooooaaaa..." She's looking the dress up and down with obvious envy. "Nnnnngh, but I don't have... fifteen gold..." Looseleaf: oh my gosh she wants to buy it

Benedict I. (GM): "It's- hang on, if I get ten, will you sell it?" "I can probably get ten! And I'll throw in a replacement!" "Not silk, but-" "Uh, Mr. Teller, do you still have last week's stuff in the back?" Looseleaf: this kid's great Benedict I. (GM):"It's good, I promise!"

Saelhen, being a con artist and kind of a jerk, turns down the offer, but skillfully reframes the issue by exploiting Kensa's love of textiles to get it repaired on the cheap in exchange for a swatch or two of the fabric. Great... job...?

After interrogating the townsfolk, Looseleaf has a bright idea- she wants to buy a climbing pack to scale the tower from the outside. It costs her extra, since new stuff has to be custom-forged overnight (a remote farming village like this doesn't have much call for climbing packs), but she gets it.

Vayen comes back, with testimony from Lester. It's not much they didn't get from Chitch- just a note that apparently vegetables were chopping themselves in Lumiere's kitchen.

Looseleaf: i should get some food too maybe! anyways all this is really pointing hard to 'the four-pronged stabby painblades move on their OWN'. it's not clear who's BEHIND it, but it's pretty obvious now that all the clues point towards the stabbies being the culprit.

-

The next morning, they head out to the tower. They notice a couple things: one is a sign that reads: " KEEP SHOUTING",

and the other is a bunch of broken glass and rubble strewn across the ground. Looking up, they notice the sixth floor seems to have had a large window smashed open. Weirdly, less glass on the ground than you'd expect if it'd been smashed open from the inside.

Looseleaf's Animist class can Detect Magic, sorta, and it's pretty clear to her that the front door is magic- so rather than fall for an obvious trap, she puts her plan into action. She can jump 30 feet up with the aid of her wings, so she's able to jump straight to the third floor and try to drive a piton into the stone to drop a rope for the rest of the party.

Here is a list of problems with that plan:

Looseleaf has tiny little sticklike moth arms, which exert insufficient force to drive pitons into stone with no leverage.

Breaking a window to attach the rope to instead results in a broken window.

Inside the broken window is a spindly suit of armor covered in nasty spikes, which immediately springs to life and turns to face whoever just broke a window next to it.

Also an alarm goes off.

Looseleaf is able to get the rope secured before the living armor attacks her, and jumps back out the window- as a moth, she essentially has Feather Fall on at all times. Still, going in through that window presents a problem.

They've noticed something, though- the automaton doesn't seem to be chasing them out the window. It's just standing there, staring down at them. This... gives Looseleaf a bright idea.

Orluthe has to make his grapple check with disadvantage, given that he's trying to snag this thing with his halberd with one hand while clinging to the side of a building by a rope, but luckily this thing botches its own roll thanks to its patented "stand perfectly still because there are no intruders in the building" maneuver.

It takes a bunch of fall damage from hitting the ground, is knocked prone, and the remainder of the party immediately unloads on it on a surprise round with crits for a bazillion damage, killing it before it can move.

This was a really good idea!

Too bad there was another one just inside, which Orluthe is now alone with!

...Wait, no, he's a giant wolfman in football armor and he suplexes the other one out the window, where the exact same thing proceeds to happen to it. Okay. Cool.

With that, the party makes their way inside. Whatever the alarm was, it seems to have died down, physically- whatever was powering it petered out. Plus, Looseleaf's magic detection means there's no way they could get caught in any traps!

Any magic traps!

Saelhen fails her perception check while walking across the room to a treasure chest and hits a tripwire and a net falls from the ceiling, trapping her and Oyobi! I bet this would be a really dangerous trap if there were, say, two menacing spiky robots bearing down on them trying to kill them while they were defenseless. As is, though... it's a minor inconvenience.

After this snafu, Saelhen tries to pick open the chest, only to find that the lock is a) quite well-made, and b) itself trapped, with a poison needle in the locking mechanism designed to go off if a lockpicking attempt fails. She just barely gets her fingers away in time, and opts to leave this treasure chest to loot later, after they're done here.

The stairs up from floor 3 seem to be blocked off by a translucent red magic barrier, so Looseleaf resumes the original plan. She stands on the windowsill of the third floor, and just flaps up to the fourth floor, looking inside and this time unlocking the window telekinetically from the inside, rather than breaking it and setting off an alarm.

When she opens the window (to the torture laboratory), some more very scary torture robots immediately go after her, as do a variety of flying knives that have quite a bit of movement speed and stab her repeatedly.

Maybe this idea had some flaws.

Next time: Looseleaf hopefully doesn't get turned into moth sashimi by animated torture implements! More dungeon is crawled! Some jerk falls down the stairs and it's hilarious!

[deltaengineering]

What remains of Fall Anime 2020

You might have noticed that I haven’t been keeping up with my season impressions, mostly (but not exclusively) because it’s really boring to come up with new ways to say “it’s isekai, which means it’s garbage for stupids”. So here’s what I ended up finishing, in ascending order of goodinosity.

Hypnosis Mic -Division Rap Battle- Rhyme Anima

Ostentatious rap battles in an insanely stupid universe are very fun. The thing is that this doesn’t want to be a good anime, it wants to sell us on these characters, and the characters are pretty terrible on account of all of them being one-word gimmicks. So, let’s give them three rounds of introductions and have them solve lame, generic crimes for 8 episodes instead of setting up the rivalries that everyone suddenly has later, when the show gets good - because it does start delivering towards the end, and becomes really all I wanted. So I can’t even say I’m disappointed, but the first half of the show is almost entirely worthless. 4/10

Assault Lily Bouquet

I don’t want to be the guy that’s all “I’m mad at this show not catering to what I want”, but I do have to say that Salt Bucket is much better at being a goofy, lighthearted yuri comedy than it is at action (though there are a few choice cuts) and at having an engaging storyline. This is again just an ad for some game or other, so it’s no surprise it has about two dozen characters too many, but it also has quite a lot of superfluous plot - so much so that I suspect it was initially planned to be twice as long. Apart from that, it’s cool and all that some Gainax old hand got to make his own Gunbuster-like, but it’s just not very good at that and all I wanted was Kaede antics and bath scenes, of which 1 per episode is clearly too few. 5/10

The King's Avatar 2

King’s Avatar got a sequel and overall I have to say, I kinda like it more than the first season even though it looks much less ambitious and even the character designs were changed towards the bland. But I honestly don’t care much about the esports aspect of this and much of S2, especially in the back half, is more about schemes and social engineering - as close to an Eve Online anime as we’re ever going to get, I guess. It’s still very chinajank (why the hell does every episode come with a redundant chibi summary of itself, etc), and while I can’t call that “good” it does remind me of a time when I wasn’t filled with useless knowledge of anime tropes and was just enjoying the weirdness. Also, Ye God’s antics is as close to “looking for anime with OP MC” as I’m comfortable with getting. 6/10

Heaven Official's Blessing

Now how about some Chinimation that isn’t very janky? I only became aware of Heaven Official’s Blessing when it suddenly rocketed to the top of the MAL charts, so I gave it a looksie and oh boy. The first few episodes of this show are flat out gorgeous, quite funny and very very gay. So I was ready to agree with MAL for once, except it then launches into an arc that mostly consists of our dudes sitting in a dark pit telling each other stories that aren’t very interesting and seem barely related to the setup. Yeah, the back half of this just isn’t very good at all. And the subs are hot garbage. Still, the beginning is so impressive that I would recommend this show despite the middling rating it’s about to get. 6/10

Ochikobore Fruit Tart

You know the problem that these 5girls4koma stories have, where one of the characters is an annoying pervert, yeah? Well, in Fruit Tart every character is that character, and they’re rather cultured as well. Yes, it’s often of questionable taste and it has a terminal case of 4koma storytelling but dammit if I didn’t enjoy it. It certainly helps that this show’s greatest asset by far is Broko and it seems to be aware of this, because there’s a lot of Broko material. It would have probably have gotten a 6 but the last episode is just so... maximum Fruit Tart. I’m down for some trash if it’s as well made as this, and I do like my kiraralikes spicy, so thumbs up over here. YMM definitely V on this one. 7/10

Majo no Tabitabi

Speaking of things that are hard to recommend despite me liking them a lot, Elaina here challenges the very notion of what a TV show even is supposed to be. I assume most people tune in every week expecting to get something roughly similar. Not so with this one, you could get everything from slice of life antics to Higurashi-style gore, or reasonably deep character study to pervert comedy. I would say that the only unifying thread is the presence of Elaina, who is a very fun character, but there’s an episode she’s not in, so there you go. But I’m a connoisseur of the weird and I also have to say that I enjoyed every episode in its own way. Also, each episode stays remarkably consistent by itself, and in the end it wraps it all up with a sort of neat “life is like a box of chocolates” thematic bow, which isn’t earthshatteringly profound but hey, it’s there. Just don’t go in with expectations, especially not expectations based on the first episode. 7/10

Love Live! Nijigasaki

It’s Love Live. Good old reliable Love Live. Really not much to say about this one, any discussion of what makes this different from previous iterations is going to end up in minutiae only people who already watched this could possibly care about. I do have to say that while the musical numbers are as good as Sunshine’s were towards the end and there’s also a lot more of them, “looking budget deficient outside the CG” is the one thing I didn’t expect from something that’s ostensibly a Sunrise premium product. So boo on that one, apart from that it’s idols (an anagram of solid). 7/10

Garupa Pico Oomori

The chibi SD shorts based off Bang Dream are still better than the main show. Even if S3 was actually quite good, this is just the best thing you can do with 30+ characters that aren’t that deep. Garupa Pico specializes in absurd humor setpieces that at points is better at being Pop Team Epic than Pop Team Epic itself was. Take that, memelords. 7/10

Fire Force S2

Fire Force is just weird, man, and it’s sort of great. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a property of this magnitude show this much of the ol idgaf spirit. How about an episode where the A plot is the most evenhanded exploration of religion i’ve seen in anime, and the B plot is about blowing up a tryhard edgelord by exposing him to panties? How about a subplot where Batman and Thor infiltrate the vatican to kill the pope, only for that to lead into a gay rape backstory, only for that to be resolved by dank weed and dismemberment? It really is quite a thing, as they say. Now, Fire Force certainly delivers hard at points, but it’s also very scattershot, even if S2 is somewhat more consistent than S1. The weakest parts are unsurprisingly still the ones where it’s remembering its fighting shounen template, and that’s not only because I don’t like that, it’s also because it’s particularly and consistently bad at scheduling these huge, simultaneous multifight setpieces it often crescendoes with. But hey, at least these tend to look super cool. In short, Fire Force is a land of contrasts and still the only fighting shounen I give a damn about. 7/10

IDOLiSH7 Second Beat

Did you know that I think Idolshi7 is the best one of all of these huge-ass commercial idol franchises? Yeah, I think it’s better than Love Live, and as of Fall 2020 also the better looking one because Troyca still delivers where Sunrise apparently can’t. I guess still don’t like the music much, thankfully there isn’t a lot of that. It also still specializes in gigantic drama, and to its credit S2 is now much better at either getting to the point or at least making it silly and fun. You show that door who’s boss, Sou. Still fantastic Tsumugis all over the place as well, in fact I think I like all the characters now. Even Banri gets his big moment in this season! Yeah, this stuff is pretty cool. 8/10

Adachi and Shimamura

So here’s the AOTS, and it’s the lovechild of Bloom Into You and Tsuki ga Kirei. While it definitely isn’t as good as either of these two, because it lacks the “about more than just teenagers being hyperbolic about a crush” part from Bloom and the part where it has an actual ending from TgK, it carves out its own niche with its loopy, almost stoned tone that’s full of side weirdos and yuri hyperspace. It’s also uniquely focused, with a tiny core cast and even Shimamura doesn’t really matter all that much. This is all about Adachi, and thankfully Adachi is amazing. Amazingly awkward, that is. It’s very cute. So yeah, this is a bit too lacking in substance to aspire to classic status, but it’s a great time nonetheless. 8/10

[marvelyningreen]

It Will End in Rain

Part 1 - Proxy

(Next)

[Summary: Maybe she really was exactly what she seemed to be - a drifter who happened by at the right time to offer help. Logan had to admit, he’d been in a similar situation not that long ago. Well, minus the ‘passing do-gooder’ thing she had going for her.

Warnings: mild language, references to injury, brief reference to torture

Notes: XCU (but no Dark Phoenix.) POV character is Logan. Romance-free; platonic interactions only. The version of the GLX/GLA mentioned is entirely non-canon. “Proxy” was an angsty as hell X-Men OC I made when I was much younger. I wanted to try writing something less... edgelord with her, without fundamentally altering the character.]

-

Nothing ever went according to plan. This was supposed to be more of an errand than a mission – just picking up intel and getting out of there. It was supposed to be Logan and Jubilee taking the Maximoff twins along for their first real outing, now that the boys were nearing sixteen.

What it wasn’t supposed to be was an ambush.

Not that Logan was too worried. Jubilee could handle herself in a brawl, and the boys were a hell of a tag-team already.

He should’ve worried more. By the time he saw, it was too late.

A shockwave had thrown Jubilee to the ground. Another kept her from getting back to her feet, and a hulking mutant was barreling towards her. There’s no way Logan could move fast enough to intercept him – and Tommy was busy dodging bullets at the other end of the clearing – but he’d be damned if he didn’t try.

With a snarl, he raced towards them, but what he saw next pulled him up short. Seconds before impact, Jubilee seemed to blink out of existence, and in her place stood a woman Logan had never seen before.

The hulking mutant swung his arm, backhanding the stranger with a force that sent her flying twenty feet away to crash into a pile of boulders. She slid to the ground with a pained groan. Before Logan could blink, there was Jubilee – laying where the other woman had fallen – completely unharmed.

It was hard to know which of them was more confused. But, before the hulking mutant could wind up for another swing, Jubilee raised one arm and blasted him into the next county.

Logan ran to her. “Hey, you alright?”

Jubilee glanced around as he helped her up. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just… What just happened? One second I was here, and then-”

By then, the Maximoff twins had dealt with their half of the battle and were jogging over. Billy raised a silver briefcase in one hand.

“Got it!” he called. “What’s going on?”

Logan shook his head. “I don’t know, but it seems like we got company.”

Didn’t look like the boys were any worse for the wear, thankfully. Their mom would cross the multiverse to kick Logan’s ass if anything happened to them. The safest option would be to leave now, but…

“Like, friendly company, or otherwise?” asked Tommy.

“Hard to say. She was definitely a mutant.” Logan sighed. “Suppose we should check it out. Jubilee, did you see anything when it happened?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I did. I could still see this spot, but I was a ways away, maybe on a hill?”

“Show me,” Billy said, and turned to Logan, “And you show me what she looked like.”

Logan nodded, focusing on the stranger’s appearance. He felt the familiar buzzing sensation in his skull as Billy peered at the memory.

Brows furrowed, Billy turned to look at Tommy, who closed his eyes for a moment, then nodded.

“I’m on it,” he said, and zipped away.

Logan cast his gaze warily around the clearing. He didn’t like the idea that they were being watched.

“Who do you think she is?” said Billy.

Logan shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, kid.”

It wasn’t unheard of to run into another mutant, but it was strange that she’d interjected herself into their fight like that. Suddenly, Tommy sped back into their midst.

“I found her,” he said, hooking a thumb towards one of the surrounding hills. “I think she’s hurt. Come on!”

This situation was rapidly getting out of hand. Logan didn’t have the professor’s advantage of reading strangers minds, just his gut instinct. But if this girl really was hurt… Well, he’d have a better grasp on the situation after seeing her.

Tommy led the group to the top of the hill.

“There,” he said, pointing at the ground.

There lay the woman Logan had seen before. If he had to guess, he’d put her around the same age as Jubilee. Definitely under thirty. Her long coat was weathered and threadbare in places, and so was the backpack that sat beside her.

She was slowly trying to push herself upright, grimacing in pain. She turned her head and spat blood onto the ground before looking up at them.

“Evening,” she said.

Logan tensed as she reached to rummage in her coat pocket, but all she retrieved was a flask.

“Who the hell are you?” he asked.

The stranger held up one finger, indicating he’d have to wait for an answer. Logan sighed impatiently, still eyeing her with suspicion as she took a swig.

“Name’s Skye,” she said finally. She looked them over, her gaze landing on Logan in particular. “You’re some of the X-Men, aren’t you?”

“And you just happened to be passing by when we were here,” said Logan.

“There’s a-” Here Skye broke off, hissing in pain as she struggled to her feet. Billy moved forward to help her, but she waved him away. Skye gritted her teeth and went on. “Backpacking trail. Just that way. This is a state park. I heard the noise and it looked like you guys could use a hand, so I jumped in.”

“Hmm.” Logan couldn’t deny that she had saved Jubilee from taking a nasty hit. “Well, thanks.”

“Don’t let me keep you from… well, whatever you’re doing out here,” said Skye. “I’ll get back to my- God… damn it.”

Skye reached for her backpack, and nearly doubled over in pain as she did so. The kids looked alarmed, and even Logan was starting to worry. If she was faking, she was doing a damn good job of it.

“Wait, you’re just gonna leave?” said Billy. “But you’re hurt.”

Skye straightened up, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself.

“I’m aware,” she said, “Cracked ribs. That’s about… a week and a half. Maybe I’d better find a motel instead.”

Billy looked back at Logan, evidently distressed, and he didn’t even need to ask. Sometimes having him along felt like having a teenaged Charles Xavier in the group. Logan sighed.

“What’s your read, kid?” he asked.

“I think…”

Skye winced for a moment, pressing a hand to her forehead. Having the kid poke around in your thoughts wasn’t exactly a good feeling, but at least he worked fast.

“I think she’s alright,” he finished.

“That’s good enough for me,” said Logan. “Look, Skye, why don’t you come back with us? You can get something to eat, get cleaned up… It beats hiking out of here to find a motel, right?”

“It’s the least we can do,” said Jubilee. “You can stay there while you heal up.”

There was silence for a few seconds as Skye considered this.

“Pneumonia would add another week,” she said, as though thinking aloud. “I guess… I mean, if you were kind enough to offer, it’d be rude not to take you up on it.”

Despite his initial misgivings, Logan had to give Billy’s assessment the benefit of the doubt. Skye really seemed to be exactly what she looked like – a drifter who happened to be in the right place to offer help.

He had to admit, he’d been in a similar situation not all that long ago. Well, minus the passing do-gooder thing Skye had going for her.

Skye stayed pretty quiet on the drive back to the mansion. She didn’t volunteer any information if she wasn’t asked directly, but she was polite enough, if a little curt. Then again, that might’ve had something to do with the cracked ribs.

But she didn’t get squirrelly when Tommy offered to carry her things either. Logan was pretty sure the kid rifled through the backpack at speed before he put it in the trunk, and he didn’t mention finding anything suspicious, so that was another point in Skye’s favor.

It was late when they got back to Xavier’s. Logan kept an eye on Skye as she got out of the car. She was definitely taking an interest in her surroundings. That could be chalked up to curiosity, though. Xavier’s school was getting quite a reputation. A down-on-their-luck mutant was bound to have heard stories, and probably wanted to know if they were true.

Logan was so busy keeping an eye on the newcomer that he didn’t even notice Professor Xavier until he spoke up.

“Logan?” he said. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, well, we ran into a little trouble, but we found some help,” said Logan, “And brought her back with us.”

If anybody was gonna know for sure if a stranger was on the level, it was the professor. Logan waited for any indication that there was trouble, but none came. The professor simply smiled, offering a handshake.

“Welcome,” he said. “I’m Professor Charles Xavier.”

“I… uh, Skye Schultz,” she said. “Honor to meet you, sir.”

Skye seemed nervous now, but more like shy nervous. The professor had that effect on people.

“The pleasure is all mine,” he said warmly. “I’m grateful for your help.”

“She busted a couple ribs in the process, too,” Logan added. “Part of the reason we brought her along.”

“Of course,” said the professor. “We’ll have someone show you to the infirmary and-”

“I’d rather not, if it’s all the same to you,” Skye interrupted.

Logan raised an eyebrow, surprised. Her tone was clipped and cold, a far cry from her usual low, dry monotone. Even the professor seemed taken aback, but only for a moment.

“Certainly,” he said, then looked to the Maximoff twins. “Boys, would you mind showing our guest to a room? There are a few open in the north wing; she’s welcome to take her pick. We’ll give you some time to settle in, Ms. Schultz, and then send up something to eat.”

Still looking a little agitated, Skye thanked him. Tommy shouldered her backpack once again, and he and Billy led her off.

“What do you think of her, Logan?” the professor asked at length.

Logan folded his arms. “Well, I think a liar would put a lot more effort into being friendly. Whatever she’s up to, I don’t think she’s got any ulterior motives. Why? What’s your take?”

“I think…” he said pensively, “I’d like to speak to her again, and I’d like you to come with me.”

“What, me?” Logan eyed him in confusion. “Oh, no. That’s not my wheelhouse, professor. Kurt’s the designated welcoming committee, not me.”

He laughed. “Oh, I’m aware of that, but Kurt’s still away at school. For now, I believe you’re the man for the job. I’m asking you to trust me on this, Logan.”

Logan sighed with ill grace. The professor would turn out to be right; he usually was.

-

“Professor, are you sure you don’t want me to come with you?” Jean asked, casting an uncertain glance down the hall towards Skye’s room.

“No, thank you, Jean,” said the professor. “Having three of us might be a bit overwhelming. I don’t expect there to be any trouble, but I appreciate your agreeing to keep watch.”

Jean nodded. “I’ll be right next door if you need anything. Or if she does.”

At the next door down, Logan knocked quietly. Silence. Maybe the kid had gone to sleep already. She had looked dead tired. But, no. He heard movement behind the door – a little too quietly, like she was trying not to be heard.

For a second, Logan was worried things were about to go south. Then, the door opened, and Skye peered out wordlessly.

“We brought you something to eat,” said the professor, smiling at her. “May we come in for a moment?”

“Sure,” was all she said.

Skye stepped aside, opening the door further so the professor’s wheelchair would fit through. She really had clammed up since they got here, hadn’t she? Not that she was particularly chatty out in the woods, but it was enough to be noticeable. Well, maybe her ribs were just bothering her.

Out of habit, Logan glanced around the room as he entered it. Two lamps on, but not the overhead light. Skye’s coat was neatly hung over a chair, and her backpack was on the floor beside it. She must’ve taken a shower. Her hair, still damp, was pulled into a long braid. The t-shirt and jeans she’d changed into were worn and oversized, but much cleaner than he’d expected.

Nothing that unusual, then. Logan took the tray from the professor, setting its contents down on the desk.

“Leftovers from dinner tonight,” the professor explained, motioning to the thermos. “Our cooks’ specialty: jambalaya. I hope that’s alright. And there’s a piece of rhubarb crumble for dessert, if you’d like it. Our groundskeeper is very proud of the recipe.”

Skye nodded, and thanked them, but didn’t make a move towards the food. Logan was sure she had to be hungry. Maybe she didn’t want to eat until they left, for some reason. Fair enough. Logan picked up the last item from the tray.

“And some ice for your ribs,” he said, passing the icepacks to Skye.

“Please, sit down,” said the professor, before the silence could drag on for too long. “I’m sure you must be tired, but I was hoping you won’t mind telling me a bit about yourself.”

Skye had taken a seat in the armchair and was settling the ice around her ribs as she gingerly leaned back. She frowned, confused.

“But couldn’t you just…?”

She gestured vaguely to her head, and the professor laughed.

“Oh, quite easily,” he said. “But what good would that do?”

Skye didn’t seem to know how to take that, and Logan still wasn’t sure what the professor expected from him in this whole interaction. Might as well get comfortable, though. He leaned against the wall, folding his arms.

“I don’t really know where to start,” said Skye.

“Start with your abilities, then,” the professor suggested.

“You’re some sort of teleporter, right?” said Logan.

“Sort of…” Skye’s gaze flashed to the professor again, and she frowned slightly.

Well, whatever it was, seemed like she still didn’t want to talk about it. But maybe she figured that she might as well anyway, since the professor is a mind-reader and all. She went on.

“I can create a sort of a, uh, a psychic link with somebody. It lets me see and hear everything they do. And if I’m linked to them, I can switch places with them for a short time.”

That explained how she pulled the whole ‘now you see me, now you don’t’ trick with Jubilee, but-

“Why would you wanna do something like that?” Logan pressed.

Skye shrugged, and winced. “Just like you saw. If they’re in danger, I can take the hit for them.”

The look of disbelief on his face was apparently all Skye needed as encouragement to clarify.

“I heal fast, too.”

Not that fast, clearly. Logan himself would’ve been fully recovered by now, if he’d been the one with cracked ribs. What was it Skye’d been mumbling to herself? Something about needing a week to heal? Weird that she knew the specifics.

“It’d take a rather particular set of circumstances for one to discover those sorts of abilities, I expect,” said the professor.

Skye cracked a rueful smile. Huh. Logan was pretty sure that was the first time she’d smiled all evening, actually.

“We got mugged,” she said. “I was seventeen. Me and my friend were walking back to my car after a movie, and some guy with a knife tried to mug us. My friend couldn’t get his wallet out of his pocket fast enough, and I just… It felt like I was seeing the whole thing through his eyes, and I knew he was gonna get stabbed, and then-”

She made a rotating gesture with her hands, indicating they switched places.

“Then I got stabbed instead,” she said. “It freaked the mugger out so much that he bolted. My friend, uh, he covered for me. Said the mugger’s story about us switching places was crazy.”

Now, a lot of mutants had some pretty rough experiences. Logan himself was no exception. Still, this girl was weirdly casual about getting stabbed as a teenager.

The professor nodded. “And that’s how you discovered the accelerated healing, too.”

“Right,” said Skye. “They figured it healed in about a quarter of the time it should’ve.”

Not too shabby, then. Still an eternity compared to what Logan was used to. The professor caught his eye for a second, and voiced his train of thought out loud.

“It’s healing, then, and not regeneration?” he asked.

“No, not regeneration,” said Skye, gesturing to her mouth. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have two false teeth.”

“From what?” Logan blurted out.

This kid didn’t look – or act – like a fighter, and Logan couldn’t believe she just got mugged that many times. It occurred to him a second too late that there could be a logical explanation, like an accident or something. But Skye was already answering him.

“When I was in college, I joined the GLX. I mean-” She broke off, suddenly looking uncomfortable. “I mean the GLA. Sorry, we- They still call themselves the GLX, uh, internally.”

The professor shook his head. “It’s quite alright.”

Logan sneered at the name. Over in the Midwest, a group of mutants had the balls to start calling themselves the “Great Lakes X-Men” without Xavier’s permission. When the professor asked them to change the name, they actually tried to say that they had every right to use it because something something x-gene, who knows. They folded at the first threat of a cease-and-desist, though. Ended up calling themselves the “Great Lakes Avengers” instead. Stupid name, if you asked Logan.

“Anyway,” Skye went on, “After Cairo, they decided that they should be doing more, and started actively recruiting. I wanted to help, so… I signed on.”

“What, they were just taking anybody?” Logan asked. “… I didn’t mean it like that.”

He kinda expected Skye to take offense at the comment, but she didn’t. Sure, her expression hardened a little, but she just managed to look more tired and defeated. What the hell happened to her out there?

“No, but they figured my abilities were valuable to the team,” said Skye. “With my help, they were able to take on riskier missions.”

“Riskier missions?” the professor repeated.

Logan knew that tone, and that brows-furrowed expression. Whatever Skye was implying, the professor was appalled by it.

“And this was your primary role in the team, is that right?” the professor continued.

“It’s all I’m good for,” said Skye. “If I could protect the person who was in the riskiest position, they’d have a far better chance of success.”

“They didn’t have you doing this out in the field, did they?” Logan asked. Maybe it wasn’t time for him to jump in, but he wouldn’t put it past these clowns to do something that stupid.

“No, I was back at headquarters the whole time. I stayed in the infirmary, since I’d be ending up there anyway. Some things only took days to recover from, other stuff could be a month or so.”

She was just so… detached and clinical about it. It was weird. It made Logan uncomfortable, if he was gonna be honest. He’d never really understood why people got so antsy when he’d get injured, but after listening to Skye talk? He was starting to get it.

“But you left the team eventually,” said the professor. “Tell us about that.”

Skye looked down, her jaw jutting out just a little. She was stalling. Logan glanced over at the professor, but he didn’t say anything – just sat there waiting for an answer. Whatever it was, the professor already knew it. He pretty much always did. But whatever it was, he wanted the kid to say it out loud.

When she finally answered, her voice sounded hollow. “One of ours got abducted. There was this anti-mutant group trying to pick up were Trask left off, and one day they just grabbed her from the grocery store parking lot. They-”

Skye broke off, almost like she’d flinched. She shut her eyes for a second, and swallowed hard before going on.

“They wanted information about the rest of the GLX. They, uh, they tried to make her talk. So while the others went to get her out of there, my job was… My job was to protect her.”

Logan didn’t like where this was going.

“Our leader had me link up with her. I told him everything that was happening, and told me to switch in every time they were going to… Every time they-”

Skye leaned forward, and for a second it looked like she was gonna throw up. Logan was ready to grab the trash can for her. He wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear more of this story. He glanced at the professor, who was watching Skye closely. A pained look crossed his face.

“It’s alright,” he said gently. “What happened next?”

“I tried to do it. I swear, I tried.” Skye’s voice wavered, then broke completely. “But after the third time, I couldn’t. I couldn’t make myself go back there. He kept telling me I had to, but I just…”

Skye shook her head. She shut her eyes tight, and her shoulders shook for a second while she tried to pull herself together.

Logan wasn’t what anybody would call naïve. If somebody volunteered for the X-Men, or even for some crapshoot of an outfit like the GLA, they knew that danger was a real possibility. But asking – no – ordering some untrained student to volunteer for torture? What the hell kind of leader would do that?

Logan looked at the girl in front of him and saw Rogue, and Jubilee, and Kitty, and dozens of other students he’d helped train. The thought of them going through what’d happened to Skye almost turned his stomach.

“And then?” the professor prompted gently.

Skye took a deep breath, like she was steadying herself.

“She was alright, all things considered,” she said. “They got to her in time. But the others never looked at me the same after I failed like that.”

It was all Logan could do not to jump in right then, because what the actual hell was wrong with these people?

“And after a while, I couldn’t face them either,” she went on. “I left. I didn’t know what else to do. I drove until the money ran out, and after that, I sold my car. I’ve been walking ever since.”

“I just want to make sure I understand,” the professor said slowly. “They let you disappear… because they felt that you’d failed them.”

Skye’s gaze was fixed firmly on the floor.

“I had one job,” she said. “And when it mattered most, I messed up.”

Whether they really blamed her for this or they were just letting her think that it was somehow her fault – it was awful either way. But while the professor looked stricken by the story, all it was doing was making Logan’s blood boil.

“But before that,” said the professor, “Whatever they’d asked of you, you did it.”

“Every time,” Skye said quietly.

“They used you as a goddamn human shield.” The words were out of Logan’s mouth before he could stop himself.

Forget waiting his turn, and forget dancing around the issue. The startled look on Skye’s face as she shook her head told him everything he needed to know.

“No, that’s not it at all,” she insisted. “If I have these powers, it’s my responsibility to use them to help.”

“It’s sure as hell not,” said Logan. “Not like that. Okay, so you’re willing to bleed for something. Great. Real noble of you. But it is screwed up that they took that literally.”

“No, it’s... That’s all that I’m good for.” But her voice was quieter now.

The GLA was damned lucky there was half a continent between Logan and them.

“Yeah, that’s not true,” he said. “If you’ve got a teleporter on your team, you can have them pass messages, drop off supplies, smuggle things past security – and that’s just off the top of my head. I’m sure Raven could come up with a dozen more options.”

It astounded him that the GLA could be that lazy, that cowardly. Logan kept waiting for the professor to step in and tell him he’d said enough, but he didn’t.

“Didn’t they ever train you to fight, or to defend yourself? Did they give you some sort of body armor, at least?”

Skye hesitated. “… no.”

That was the last straw. Logan snapped.

“They expected you to take bullets for them whenever they asked, and you did it. And when torture was a bridge too far – as it goddamn should be – they acted like you betrayed them somehow. Because that’s all you were good for, right? Just jumping in to help whenever they snapped their fingers. But let me ask you this: did any of them ever volunteer to switch in to help you?”

Skye was staring up at him, wide-eyed. He could tell she was trying to think of some way to respond, to deny everything he’d said. Guilt crept into Logan’s mind. Damn it, he got carried away. He didn’t mean to upset her like that.

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he said gruffly.

Skye jerked her chin in something like a nod. The air in the room started to feel a little heavy. Logan was honestly surprised the professor hadn’t shut him up in the middle of all that, but it was only now that he spoke up.

“It can’t have been easy, sharing your story with us,” he said, “Much less experiencing it firsthand. I want you to know that you’re among friends here, and that you’re welcome to stay as long as you wish. Alright?”

Skye mumbled an affirmative, and the professor smiled gently at her.

“It’s getting late, and you’ve had a long day,” he said. “No, don’t get up. It’s quite alright. I’ll have someone come by in the morning to bring you breakfast. Goodnight, Ms. Schultz.”

Her responding ‘goodnight’ was barely audible.

Logan pulled the door closed quietly behind him and followed the professor down the hall in silence. It was only when he was sure they were out of earshot of Skye’s room that he spoke up.

“I was a little too blunt in there, wasn’t I?” he asked wryly.

“Perhaps.” The professor was gazing ahead thoughtfully, then he looked up at Logan and smiled. “However, I was counting on you to do just that.”

Logan’s brows furrowed. “I’m not following.”

The professor came to a stop in front of the elevator. Instead of calling for it, he turned to face Logan. Apparently it was explanation time. Logan shifted his weight and folded his arms, settling in to listen.

“I could’ve easily read her history in her mind,” said the professor. “I could’ve even recited it back to her; it would’ve made no difference. What she needed was to see her story through someone else’s eyes – through yours – in order to perceive it clearly.”

“So you knew it was gonna piss me off.”

The professor chuckled, shaking his head.

“I had a feeling,” he said, “That the GLA’s treatment of Skye would horrify you and provoke your outrage, which it did. The strength and sincerity of your reaction did more to wake her up that my speaking to her ever could have. Thank you for trusting me on this, Logan.”

“Hmm.” Logan still wasn’t sure if he’d helped at all. If anything, he was more worried about the kid than he’d been before. “Is she gonna be alright?”

“Well, what do you think?”

Logan snorted. The professor was always gonna be a teacher at heart, answering a question by throwing it back at him.

“I think it’s not the first time you took in a stray,” he said.

“Logan,” the professor scolded gently.

“I can say that because I was one of them,” Logan said, laughing. “I think… Well, if there was hope for me, I think she’ll be alright.”

[keelywolfe]

FIC: Biting Off More Than You Can Chew; part 12

Summary: It's the morning after Rus's heat. Time for a little truth or consequence.

Tags: heatfic, dubious consent, NSFW, frenemies to lovers, mates, first time, more if I think of them

PLEASE READ THE TAGS: This is a Heat story, so there are going to be issues of consent. I don’t do partner rape, nope, but hey, I want to be straight with y’all. I like heatfics personally, but I understand how they can be troubling for some people. So there it is.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6

Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11

~~*~~

Read Chapter 12 on AO3

or

Read it here!

~~*~~

Rus was dead. It was the only explanation for how shitty he felt.

Being dead sure as hell sounded better than dealing with all the aches and pains he could feel settling into his bones. Better than dealing with the trickle of memory that was starting to soak into his thoughts, of spending the last night in a heat-induced haze of fucking, and by the shiny damned stars, having sex all night long only sounded good if you were getting paid by the hour. Anyone off the clock needed some damn sleep after a while and that was a fact.

Since dead people didn’t need sleep, though, Rus was gonna have to come to the regrettable conclusion that he was alive, in which case he might actually have to deal with some shit.

In the positive column, his soul felt…okay. Settled. That seemed like a good word for it or maybe deeply satisfied would be better. A miles-deep itch luxuriously scratched with a firm application of dick. A quick trip over into the negatives was he felt like every single one of his bones had a bruise fucked into it somewhere.

Also, he desperately wanted a cigarette and oh, yeah, he was in Edge’s bed and the last time that happened, the waking up didn’t exact rate a 10 on the hospitality scale. He could feel the presence of a body behind him and unless some serious changes in time and space happened while he was out cold, it was a good guess that it was Edge. Yay.

Welp, since he wasn’t dead, there was nothing for it. Cautiously, Rus eased over to take a gander.

Edge was there, all right, sound asleep, rusty-dark circles beneath his sockets. Stood to reason he’d still be zonked; he’d been along for the entire bouncy ride and stuck around for the cleanup. That was something to be grateful for right there. The bond between them felt oddly empty, like it was lying dormant. Rus prodded at it mentally like poking at a sore tooth and there was only the faintest pulse of response, not even enough for Edge to stir.

Yeah, buddy was tired, he deserved a chance to sleep in, right, job well done and all that shit. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be too pissed off if he slept through his shift, but Rus wasn’t sticking around to find out. Time to get out before black comedy took a left turn back to the drama category.

Didn’t exactly start off well; the second Rus tried to climb out of bed, it felt like this morphed from porn to some kind of stealth game. First objective, slithering off the mattress without moving it enough to wake the Edgelord. Next, his clothes were scattered to the four corners of the room, forcing Rus to tiptoe around to gather them up. At least they weren’t hard to find. Aside from his loose wardrobe, the room was neat as a pin.

Rus slipped his clothes back on, grimacing at the lingering dampness on his tank top and at the crotch of his pants. He sure as hell hoped Muffet held on to the sweatshirt he’d left at her bar even if she charged a cleaning fee, it was one of his favorites. Thinking of Muffet made him wince. His reputation was going to take a hell of a beating over last night or at least start up a Scooby Doo style mystery.

He’d deal with that later. Wasn’t much he could do about his clothes now, he wasn’t hanging around to do laundry, and he only needed to wear them long enough for a couple shortcuts.

Done and done, time to hit bricks and if the shortcut down to the machine woke Edge, all he could do was send an annoyed text. Yep, it was time to go, back home where he didn’t have to think about anything he didn’t want to, tuck all this shit about heats and bonds and who-the-fuck-knew else back into the dark, dusty corners of his mind while he focused on naps and smoking. Back to the ol’ basics.

Except, Rus still found himself hesitating, looking back where Edge was sleeping curled up beneath the rumpled blankets.

Rus’s soul gave an uncomfortable throb. Edge looked so damn young when he was asleep. All of the sharp corners and creases that bound him up during the day eased, leaving his skull smoother and the cracks that ran through his socket starker, more poignant. A pretty unwelcome reminder that he was the same age as Blue…and that he’d never had sex before, fucking hell, what a way to lose any vestiges of virginity a guy had, both times in a feverish, heat-induced marathon. Rus wasn’t an expert on the mornings-after, okay, he’d only slept over by accident a few other times. Dropped unconscious was more accurate, he’d been drunk as hell every time. Sneaking out for a hasty walk of shame while his nighttime companion and/or mistake was still out cold was fine on those occasions, but this time? Seemed kinda rude, what with the whole soul bond thing. Maybe really rude.

Besides, could be if Rus stuck around, he’d get breakfast out of the deal again.

That hooked it. He’d stay until Edge got up and see how this played out, and if it started with, any version of, ‘Why are you still here?’, he’d hit bricks. He rubbed his chest right over his soul, mentally ordering it to quit with the whining, he was staying, okay?

For now, he needed a damned cigarette. That itchy craving might be a pale comparison to driving heat crawling through his bones, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t irritating. The crumpled pack in his pants pocket held two mangled butts and his lighter. It’d have to do.

Rus stepped outside the bedroom door and carefully closed it before taking shortcut down to the front porch, already shaking out a cig before he sat down. It was cold outside, the sudden chill refreshing on his bones. The soothing rush of nicotine was all the better coupled with the linger ache in his bones. Nothing like a smoke after getting laid.

Not that ‘getting laid’ really lived up to the experience, now did it. That first time had been something, but his turn in the heat box was…fuck. That shit had been something else, the memory a blurry mess of pleasure and hot aching, his soul uncaring as it slowly collapsed into pain and dragged his dick along for the ride. If that was what it was like with a helper along, Rus didn’t even want to think about what it might be like to endure it alone. Someone needed to ask evolution for a refund, because that didn’t qualify under normal wear and tear.

Then again, if getting knocked up kept a Monster from having to go through that, it was a hell of an incentive.

A shadow fell over him and Rus looked up. And up, and up, at a hulking bear Monster, radiating LV without even a check, their beady, reddened eyes focused laser-sharp on Rus.

Yeah, okay, that was a hell of a wake-up call to remind him he was still in Underfell.

“Hey, there precious,” the Bear said, low and growling. “don’t you smell delicious?”

Welp, that was ominous on about three different levels, four if Rus could use complex mathematics, but this guy looked like 2 + 2 might tax his skill level.

Suddenly, Rus was feeling a lot more self-conscious about his tank top; there was a reason he normally bundled up in a sweatshirt and it wasn’t because he couldn’t take the temps.

Before Rus could decide whether to take his chances telling them to piss off, or shortcut out and ruin one of his last cigarettes, a familiar voice said from behind the Bear, “might wanna take another whiff there, smokey, that one’s taken.”

The Bear did, loudly, nostrils flaring, and Rus would’ve sworn he paled even though his face was covered in fur. He ducked his head and it was more than a little bemusing to see him so subservient to a guy not even half their height, muttering out, “Sorry, Red, I didn’t know.”

“uh huh,” Red hooked a thumb towards town, “you got a free whiff, now fuck off.”

The Bear dropped down to all fours and waddled hastily away. Rus watched him go, their tail waggling like a flag of surrender. Then he looked back at Red.

Red looked like Red, that ever-present smirk of his lingering on his mouth. He tucked his hands into his pockets and rocked on his sneakered heels. “you shouldn’t be outside yet,” Red said, “you still reek and some of the dimmer bulbs won’t check who you belong to, since the boss hasn’t bothered to put a collar on you yet.”

“yet?” Rus took a long drag, snorting out smoke through his nasal cavity. “yeah, i don’t think so. i don’t belong to anyone.”

“don’t take it so hard. he belongs to you, too,” Red sounded resigned. As if had any fucking right to, as if this whole clusterfuck wasn’t his fault, and yeah, it might’ve still gone down this way if Red just told him about this, maybe handed over that fabled heat manual along with the rock and the hard place, but at least Rus would’ve had a choice. At least this would be all his bad decisions, that much he was used to. Not Red using him like a bandage, slapping him over his brother’s wound and expecting him to soak up all the juices.

Only to find out it wasn’t as easy to toss him out afterward and fuck it, Rus was losing the metaphor, but the point stood. Red didn’t have a right to sound like that, fucking prick.

What all this really came down to was that there was a choice to make here, and the bitch of it was, Rus already knew what one he was going to make.

Rus sighed and held out the pack of cigarettes, and after a minute, Red took the last one, tossing the crumpled pack on the ground where Edge was probably gonna find it and bitch about it. Red sat down next to him on the step and took the silently offered lighter, too. They sat there for a while, smoking in the quiet morning and honestly, what a laugh, right? Red and Sans could hold onto a grudge in both their greasy little hands until the Universe went to dust and Rus’s soft little soul folded like a card house after one shouting match.

Seriously, Red really knew how to pick his scapegoats, didn’t he.

“i really hate you, you know,” Rus said conversationally. The artificial light was getting brighter. If he were back home, Rus would already be napping at his sentry station.

Red only chuckled humorlessly, “there’s another thing you and my bro have in common.”

“your brother doesn’t hate you.”

Red shrugged, flicking ash across the snow mounded around their porch. “wouldn’t know. haven’t seen him since his heat.”

“what?” That sure as hell got Rus’s attention. Yeah, Red skipped out on movie night, but Rus hadn’t known it was that bad. “you live here.”

Red’s grin was blade-sharp, his eye lights firmly on his untied shoes. “see that’s the thing about being able to shortcut. you don’t have to see anybody you don’t wanna.”

“true.” But Rus couldn’t help but wonder who didn’t want to see who, ‘cause if Red did all this for his brother, it was pretty damn hard to believe that he’d ditch him over the fallout. “edge is still pretty pissed, huh.”

Not that Rus had a leg to stand on in that fight, not when he was still pissed off himself. Once Edge figured out who sent Rus into the lion’s heat den—an extremely short list of suspects— stood to reason he’d be steamed.

Red said nothing. He flicked his burnt-out butt into the snow and pulled a slim silver case out of his pocket. Weirdly posh for him but when he opened it, there was a neat row of those little cigars that he liked to smoke. He held the case out, offering, and fuck it, Rus took one. Nicotine was nicotine, even if the harsh smoke made him cough. When Red made a move to pat him on the back, Rus leaned away, glaring through his cough.

“don’t,” Rus wheezed out. “don’t touch me.” He took a couple deep, clean breaths, and added, “we aren’t good, i want you to know that. we aren’t friends. you fucked me over good with this shit.”

“yeah. i did.” Red didn’t argue. He smoked his cigar and looked out at the snow drifts around them. At his battered version of Snowdin, his world that was so fucked up that it forced Monsters to go into heat and nearly die themselves to keep the population up.

Rus sighed, absently twirling the cigar between his fingers. “but if you want, i’ll try and help you get back in with your bro.”

That got Red’s attention. He turned to Rus, sockets narrowed suspiciously. “why would you do that?”

“because edge didn’t ask for any of this shit, either,” Rus said, low, “and now he’s stuck with me of all people, isn’t he. he doesn’t deserve to lose his brother, too, especially not in your shitheap of a world.” And it was a shitty, shitty thing Red did, but damned if Rus didn’t get it. What wouldn’t he do for his own bro? Might be better not to put it to the test.

Red said, dubiously, “don’t think that’s how he’d look at it—”

He didn’t get a chance to elaborate. Rus got the faintest impression of someone else’s panic at almost the exact moment the door swung open abruptly behind them and Edge came boiling out, nearly tripped ass over teakettle over them. His wild panic faded when he saw them, the flare of his eye lights dimming to confusion, “Why are you outside?”

Rus shrugged and held up the cigar in answer. “don’t worry, red is a good bodyguard.”

From the corner of his socket, Rus let his eye lights linger on Edge’s bare ribcage, the smooth, broad bones occasionally intersected with the scars of old cracks. The clotted bite mark on his sternum was stark in the artificial daylight and looking at it gave Rus a weird itch, echoed in the healed scar on his collarbone. Interesting to see that Edge hadn’t put on a shirt or even his boots. He was going to go searching in the snow in his bare feet, so panicked he was gonna chase Rus down without shoes.

Guess it was a good thing he decided not to leave. The last thing he needed was Edge showing up half-naked in Underswap Snowdin and tearing apart the town searching for him. That soul bond shit really did a number on a guy’s head, didn’t it, plus maybe some dregs of that heat lingering at the bottom of the mug.

He had the bond pulled in pretty tight right now, anyway. Rus didn’t feel a bit of Edge’s visible discomfort. His ungloved fingers clattered lightly against his skull as he ran a hand over it. “Both of you get inside.”

A direct order that neither Rus nor Red made any move to obey. Rus pinched out his cigar and tucked it into his pocket in case of a later nicotine emergency, then tipped his skull back to look at Edge, all that restless impatience turned upside down.

“you gonna make us some breakfast?” Rus asked lightly.

Edge’s eye lights settled on his and he stared at Rus, unblinking, and fuck only knew what he was seeing. Then they slowly slid to his brother’s back, at Red who was currently staring holes into the ground.

“Yes,” Edge agreed, slowly. “Now come inside.” He didn’t wait to see if they followed, turned on his bare heel and went back in, leaving the door open behind him. Red made a show about getting to his feet, tossing the cigar butt into the snow and giving his ass a lazy scratch. He was shifting impatiently by the time Rus did the same, minus the ass scratch, and shuffled inside.

Edge was waiting by the kitchen door. He said to Rus, “Why don’t you go upstairs and take a nap while I cook? You look like you could use a little more rest.”

“don’t have to tell me twice.” Especially since he suspected Edge wanted to talk with his brother without an audience. Welp, he’d gotten Red through the door, the rest was up to them.

Rus took a shortcut right up into Edge’s mussed bed. The sheets had already given up all the heat they’d collected overnight. Didn’t matter, they were still comfortable and the blankets plentiful. Rus burrowed in, sighing, and closing his sockets, firmly ignoring the spicy, sex-musty stink that was probably baked into the linens even as it made his soul twitch feebly with interest.

Nope, you had your fun, he told it sternly. Time to sit in the back seat until his pelvis felt less like it’d been used as a rocking horse.

Honestly, he didn’t mean to actually fall asleep or at least not as hard as he did, but he must’ve because the next thing Rus knew Edge was there, along with the tantalizing aroma of pancakes and coffee.

The spread was as good as the last time, golden-brown pancakes with a pat of melting butter pooled in the center, mingling with the drizzled honey. Tempting as that was, despite the hungry cry in his soul for sustenance, Rus reached for the coffee first. Only two notches above lukewarm with plenty of milk and sugar, just how he liked it.

Edge set the tray on the bed between them, digging into his plate of pancakes while Rus got close and personal with the coffee. Didn’t take long for him to finish his caffeinated bonding and start in on his own plate, groaning his bliss out around a mouthful of delicious caky sweetness.

“this is so good,” Rus mumbled, then before Edge could grouse about his tables manners in spite of the lack of table, he swallowed and added, “i could get used to being served breakfast in bed after a long night of heat sex.”

Edge’s fork paused almost too briefly to be seen, quickly cutting into his second pancake. “I think something like that could be arranged.”

It was lightly said, but the reminder made Rus grimace anyway. Yeah, if what Edge told him before held true, they were gonna be doing this every few months or so, weren’t they. A shitty situation all the way around, but fuck it, at least there might be future pancakes. He poked at a bite with his fork, the soft innards dissolving into a honey sludge.

As good as the food was, it was weirdly awkward to be sitting here eating pancakes, even more than it’d been the last time. Last time, Rus thought he was about to head home and all this would end up a footnote in his autobiography. Now Rus knew it was gonna end up as a chapter of its own and sitting here trying not to look at the bite mark he’d left on Edge’s sternum on the same bed where only a few hours ago he’d been putting in a good effort to pound Edge through the mattress was a little…yeah, awkward didn’t seem to quite cover it.

Reluctant as he was to think about last night, he did have some clear memories, and hadn’t he just been telling Red that none of this was Edge’s fault? Might be time to put his G where his big mouth was.

“i’m sorry for what i said last night,” Rus said bluntly. “it was shitty of me to blame all this on you.”

Edge didn’t even pause, only swallowed down his current mouthful and said, “I’m hardly going to hold what you say in heat against you. One of the first things in the manual is to not take things a heat-stricken Monster says personally.”

“yeah? that’s probably sound advice.” Rus dragged a bite of pancake through the leftover honey puddled on the plate, sopping it up. “i didn’t know how awful that was for you before. i suspected, you didn’t exactly seem like you were having a good time, but that?” Rus ducked his head, shuddering. “that was something else.”

“Being in heat is awful,” Edge agreed. “however, it shouldn’t be that bad again. Not according to the manual.”

“it’s word is law, huh?”

“After a few centuries of refinement, I’m willing to follow it.”

Rus was running out of pancakes to use as a buffer, time to speed this up. “i feel like an asshole for having to ask and i can guess what you’re say, but…um…are you okay?”

Stupid how that faint smile of Edge’s sent a little pulse through his soul, this bond thing could be really annoying. “I’m fine. And you wouldn’t be an asshole even if I weren’t, it wasn’t your fault.”

“it feels like my fault.” He’d been the one climbing on top, he’d been the one pinning Edge down. Willing or no, it’d still felt like Rus was taking too much, taking, forcing, driven by unrelenting heat and—

“Who are you going to trust, your feeling or me?”

Rus only laughed, a little uncomfortably. He dabbled a finger in the honey dregs, licked it clean. “i’m not usually much of a dick man, anyway. better to receive than give, in my opinion.”

“I don’t think I’m prepared to choose either way.” Edge mused thoughtfully as he set the tray with their empty plates on the floor. “I’d need more data.”

Oh. Well, now. That almost sounded like an invitation, now, dinnit?

Maybe if he…gingerly, Rus opened up the mental wall he had up around his soul juuust a little, a wide enough crack to peer out. He could feel Edge doing the same, so fucking weird, allowing the barest tickle of emotion that wasn’t his, but Rus was ready to match that emotion pretty damn quick.

Desire, as thick and sweet as that morning’s honey.

Rus swallowed hard, “uh, do you maybe…?”

“Yes, I want you,” Edge said bluntly. Just tossed it out there like a ball for Rus to fumble, except not really because Rus had a hold on it now, opening up his soul a wee bit more. Okay, so, if he could feel all the concerns and worries that Edge put out, stood to reason he’d feel want, he’d felt it a little last night. Wants and needs and desires and pleasure, and holy hell, this was gonna be interesting, wasn’t it.

“aww, sweet talker,” Rus cooed. He reached out and traced around the bite mark on Edge’s sternum teasingly, skirting dangerously close to the damaged bone. “you up for some experimenting?”

“Are you offering?”

“yeah, i am.” Enough dancing around, Rus was a little too tired yet to try for the tango. And why the fuck not. His cock was out of commission, but his cunt was all right, and as far as he knew, the only sex Edge ever had was his own heat and its aftermath, and then Rus’s. He could stand to be shown a good time. Hell, Edge was a better lay than most anyone else Rus went home with before, plus he came with morning after pancakes. Maybe this bond thing didn’t have to be so bad, especially if Edge was willing to let him show off a trick or two.

Rus leaned in, carefully telegraphing each move, and kissed him. Jaggedly sharp teeth parted, allowing his tongue inside and there was something about navigating around them, the almost-danger of it that pulled a groan out of Rus, fuck, yes, this was gonna be amazing it was—

An unguarded flash of emotion pulsed through Rus’s soul, a spark of unexpected warmth. Rus jerked back instinctively, flinching away from Edge, both hands curling over his chest as he asked shakily, “what the fuck!”

That emotion was stifled immediately, snuffed out and hastily hidden behind that mental brick wall again. “My apologies,” Edge said smoothly. He leaned in, trying to kiss Rus again but it was about ten steps past too late for that.

“no, no, holy shit, what the fuck!” That brief, shining flash, so brief, but Rus knew it for what it was. Too-warm and tender, settled insidiously against his own for only a moment, but he knew.

Love.

Rus scrambled out of the bed, nearly tripping over the tray on the floor, dishes rattling as he backed hastily away, his trembling hands held out as if to keep Edge back.

Edge didn’t try to stop him, he only sat there, looking bleak and…and…no, fuck no…

“no,” Rus choked out, “no, i can’t do that, this bond.” He clutched a fist over his sternum where his soul was aching to manifest “i can’t…please…i can’t deal with it making me feel things that aren’t real, i can’t.”

“It’s not the bond,” Edge whispered, barely audible. He looked way, down at his hands twisting in his lap. “I felt that way before I ever touched you.”

“don’t…” Rus blurted, low and thready. The sourness rising at the back of his throat overwhelming the lingering sweet. “don’t you fucking dare. i don’t believe you.”

“Why do you think my brother chose you?”

“He told me—“

”Oh, I’m sure he had a very good excuse. But heat can be more selective than you’d think.” Edge closed his sockets, exhaling long and slow, “My brother knew exactly how I felt about you and he knew that I never wanted this for you. You deserve a choice, a better choice, any other choice than this.”

“you don’t…you don’t feel that way about me…” Rus said shakily. “you can’t.” More denials trembled on his tongue, but how the fuck was he supposed to deny what he felt with his own soul.

He didn’t even think about shortcutting, only knew he needed to be gone.

The basement was cold, colder even then outside, untouched by the artificial light. Rus fumbled at the machine controls. He had to clear it and reset the coordinates for Underswap twice. Home, he had to get home, that was all, he had to get away from here and…

…and then what?

What was he gonna do? Go hide in Underswap again until heat struck one of them down?

Rus covered his face with trembling hands, inhaled the nauseating mixture the smell of tobacco and sweet honey that clung to his bones. Everything had changed and nothing had changed; the heat was still going to come and there was no place deep enough Rus could bury himself, no Monster he could pull between his legs to ride him to forgetfulness that was gonna stop it.

He didn’t know what to do anymore.

He stood in front of the shimmering blackness of portal, his soul knotted into a screaming tantrum of not fair and when had that ever changed a fucking thing? Terror and anger could fight it out for supremacy in his head, but he had some pretty visceral proof that he couldn’t run away from this one and that was the bitch of it. It was chained directly to his soul and there was no easy escape, not this time.

It was hard to force any kind of clarity into his warbling thoughts, but Rus did the best he could. Deep, calming breaths, his breath clouding in the cold of the basement. He was shivering by the time his panic loosened its hold, bones rattling in the stillness. Okay, obviously, his head and soul were twisted on backwards and upside down over this. What he needed was an outside opinion, someone who didn’t have a horse in this race to give him some damned advice.

Rus went through the portal and closed it behind him before heading upstairs, towards the best opinion he knew. He’d barely opened the door when a shout rang out, making him cringe.

“WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!”

His brother all but flew off the sofa, furiously. Tears stood out in his sockets, shining against the starry blue of his eye lights. “I have been looking everywhere for you! The Monsters at Muffet’s said you were acting strangely and--” Whatever Blue saw on his face made him pause, his righteous anger fading. When Rus dropped to his knees and opened his arms Blue was there in an instant, holding him close. His small, sturdy body was comfort, it was home, and Rus greedily absorbed the feel of it.

All too soon, Blue pulled away. He didn’t go far, cupping Rus’s face in his gentle, gloved hands. “Papy? What is going on?”

That was his bro, always so kind and trying so hard to understand, to make things better. Blue wanted so terribly much to fix it, whatever it was, things and places and people and Rus.

“sit down, bro,” Rus sighed, nudging him towards the sofa, “and i’ll explain. but it’s a long story.”

“Then start telling it,” Blue settled in on the cushions, folding his hands in his lap expectantly. “and brother? I’m expecting a much longer tale than ‘Fuzzy Bunny’.”

Rus resisted the urge to say anything about it being a tale about getting tail and sat down next to him, sprawling into his brother’s lap. “okay. you remember a few weeks ago when i stayed out all night—"

~~*~~

tbc