#I have no sympathy at all
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Idk why ppl are coming to argue with me that “born” Israelis aren’t to blame for the the actions of their parents or grandparents. I’m a fucking Indian who’s still yelling at British to give our Kohinoor back. Why on earth won’t I yell at new generation Israelis to give Palestinians their land back.
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as i grow older and age in fandom especially, i have waning patience for 2012 style fandom wars. i don't have time for the type of person who goes "why is this the 2nd top ship on ao3 when it bugs me", i don't have the energy to be friends with people who go "i specifically expressed dislike for this ship and people still write it?" and i have absolutely no time for someone who goes "this very personal trauma i have projected onto this random character and ship should be recognized and agreed by everyone else, otherwise they're bad people"
#idk man im just tired#ao3#fandom#i recognise that there is an age to have this type of discourse poison your brain and i have all the sympathy i can if you're going through#it but at the same time i don't have the patience for it sorry#it's one of the main reasons why fandom has become a chore for me#meow speaks
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I just realized it'll take the eng server almost a year to reach the 3D Cheka T pose model :' ) we're at book 7 part 6, and we get a new main story update every 2 to 3 months..
Anyway, do you wanna share some fun, spoiler-free shenanigans that happened in jp's server.? Just to have some crumbs to lick off the table until we get our own sandwich (my heart is empty and my soul is crying)
spoiler-free is pretty hard, especially considering. the, uhhh, particular turn that things take directly after 6. (like, the fact that the other characters are showing up probably counts on its own?) and I do think that if you can avoid getting spoiled, most of it is definitely better as a surprise! some of the genuinely best Twst moments are waiting for you. :D
if I may, however, present one of my favorite little throwaway bits with absolutely no context:
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 10 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 10 spoilers#i've been thinking about 10 in particular lately. idk.#been sort of obsessed with the fact that azul calls his parents mama and papa#maybe it was only in the dream but i choose to believe this is just true of him because it's adorable#nothing more delightful than azul getting harassed by the twins and impotently shrieking about how his papa is a LAWYER he'll SUE them!!!!#azul your papa is a divorce attorney#i'm not sure he's ready to take on the literal ocean mafia#geeze though. y'all on eng have my deepest sympathies.#i have a hard enough time waiting between parts#(7-12 is coming for us next week and i'm already DYING of impatience 😭)#i cannot imagine also trying to dodge all the spoilers like a master thief in a hallway of laser beams#you all are stronger than i will ever be#that said i am VERY much enjoying vicariously reliving 6 via my activity page#rip meleanor...how i miss you...#man. i gotta draw more meleanor.#(to be fair this is true of me at any given moment)
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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#palestine#yeah i dont have much sympathy for you if you still identify as zionist after all this#no matter what you believe zionism means#zionism is racism
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massages forehead So Ambessa hid Mel away because she was a weapon in the literal sense, a mage. But Ambessa came to Piltover for Hextech? And Ambessa had nothing to say to Mel about her powers having visibly awakened? Even when Mel offered to go with Ambessa, giving her the ultimate opportunity to make Mel a weapon for real? And Ambessa made no attempt to find or retrieve Mel - not just her daughter and the remnants of the family Ambessa professes to love, but also her ultimate weapon - when she disappeared? And Ambessa trusted Singed and Viktor on their home turf - neither of them hiding how insane and self-serving they are with every reason to take over Ambessa's soldiers or just blatantly turn on her as soon as it benefits them - more than she trusted Mel? While Caitlyn (and by extension Piltover) was visibly and clearly falling away from Ambessa's teachings before Ambessa's eyes? (as if getting rid of certain people allows piltover to get rid of fascism but we won't get into All That)
Not only do I struggle to be hyped for Mel's powers beyond how amazing and beautiful she looks, but I can't help but feel like Mel is somehow less powerful in season 2 than she was in season 1, and not in an interesting way. As if Mel's ability to bend all of Piltover politics and economics to her will in season 1 now means nothing in season 2? You can argue that Jinx's attack led directly to Mel losing ground in Piltover - because I expected Mel to have to claw back that power without being able to rely on people who are too easily seduced by Ambessa and authoritarianism, and she would have to get creative to go toe to toe with her mother. I expected pushback to her mage identity that she would have to navigate. But instead this went either unwritten, or was ignored or discarded. Instead Mel is removed from the main plot, cutting her off from what made her the most interesting - only for all of Mel's very real talents, her very real powers and abilities, to be not only translated but REPLACED with magical powers she doesn't know how to control, and by the finale, those magic powers are the only powers that are considered real. Mel takes a backseat to Piltover's governing and decisions, a backseat to Jayce of all people who was not only new to politics mere months ago but made poor governing, strategic, and diplomatic decisions when he had that power. In season 1 Mel stayed off the "throne" but she did pull its strings one way or the other, and she makes no attempt at this in season 2
In my least generous suspicions, Mel was gentled and quieted to capitulate to an agenda for other characters who had to be correct and heroic - or wrong and villainous - no matter what the leadup narrative said, given her powers to help sell the game and set up future shows, and was effectively ejected from the Arcane story with faceless soldiers and a role she doesn't want because she was inconvenient there
#arcane#spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#arcane critical#mel medarda#mel arcane#ambessa medarda#this is not helped by having watched Shogun recently with Toranaga in all his horrible glory#Toranaga and Mariko are FRESH in my mind Riot do not PLAY with me#MARIKO WAS TORANAGA'S ULTIMATE HUMAN WEAPON AND SHE DID IT WITH NO SUPERNATURAL POWERS OR REAL MARTIAL PROWESS#SHE DID IT BY BEING GOOD AT BEING A NOBLE IN HER SPECIFIC CULTURE AND GARNERING TRUST AND SYMPATHY IN HER FRIENDS AND PEERS#IN SPITE OF BEING A CHILD OF A CURSED AND SHUNNED BLOODLINE#NOW DOESN'T THAT SOUND FAMILIAR#cough cough anyway I like Mel being a mage but I don't like how they did it and I don't like how separating Mel from Piltover wasn't MORE#sidenote i cannot better express my BAFFLEMENT that viktor and mel were in the same room and mel made no attempt to speak to him#when he was INTERESTED IN HER WHOLE DEAL. he literally REACHES OUT and mel did not use talk no jutsu#season 1 viktor was never in her influence bc 1) he was not just her employee but her SECONDARY employee socially and politically and#2) he's implied to be aware and resistant to her. but in season 2 her mage abilities make him VULNERABLE TO HER physically AND mentally#and she doesn't exploit that???? not even to protect jayce???? let alone piltover?????#also making ambessa less cunning less scary and more predictable than season 1 silco ought to be a criminal offense somewhere
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"Hector was a good man" "diomedes was an honorable man" BZZZT WRONG. Diomedes was there to steal, burn, and wage war same as the next person. In fact, he was pretty adamant about it. Hector had no issue with the greek's actions, merely that they were directed at him—I mean look at what he wanted to do with patroclus's body, only to then cite respect for funeral rites when it was his own turn to die. Hector also owned slaves within his own city walls—people that he likely took from their homes during troy's own conquests. All that seperated him and the greek warriors was which side they were on.
The Iliad isn't a story about morally upstanding men. Sure, it has men who have honor and perform honorable acts, but these are not good samaritans. It's is a story about war and grief and the real victims of fights between so-called-honorable men and gods. The urge to find a "good guy" in this story is wasted. Hector doesn't have to be morally good just because achilles isn't. Troy didn't lose because they were more or less evil than the greeks. It all just. Is. Because of fate? Because the gods said so? Because people will always make disastrous mistakes and it will always end up biting not only them, but everyone else around them? Who knows? In the end though, doesn't it all feel so pointless in the face of the endless amounts of grief and destruction that war leaves behind? Maybe that's the whole point
#who knows if thats the point homer wanted to make#but with our modern lens#thats the lesson that is the takeaway#the urge to create a good and a bad side is useless here#hector being a loving father doesnt change that hes a warrior#in a city state that came to power by trampling and enslaving surrounding regions#diomedes being obedient to athena and brave to a fault doesn't absolve him from the acts of the greeks of which he was a willing participan#its not about good vs evil#its about greeks vs trojans#and about how pointless that really is#achilles#hector#diomedes#the iliad#homer#the song of achilles#odysseus#agamemnon#hector of troy#diomedes of argos#all that being said#despite achilles being my fave i tend to see the trojans side more#they r dirty little conquerors same as the greeks BUT in this instance they are the defenders so I have some sympathy for them#greek mythology
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It will never not be super ridiculous that Buffy had to single-handedly protect the world from demons, raise her teenage sister, manage a household, and work a full time job, all at the age of 22 and everyone around her is like “god Buffy just grow up and deal with it, stop acting like it’s hard.”
#Giles leaving will never make sense#what 22 year old can be expected to juggle all that without support#and someone explain why Willow and Tara didn’t pay rent cause I have questions#she really got no sympathy from anyone they all acted like she was this sad pathetic loser who couldn’t handle being a grown up#but also can you give me any better representation of the reality of your early 20s than that#this show really did the thing#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#buffy#buffy summers
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Thinking about how Pete used to be a priest and Kevin's (unnamed) mom was a nun. The fact that Pete was clearly stripped of his title. And we don't hear anything about Kevin's mother beyond the fact that she's dead. Thinking about how Diane says that she thinks of Pete as her "creepy uncle" and hates him. Thinking about how Kevin being born was likely a huge scandal for Pete and his mother and led to him being kicked out of the church. Thinking about how Pete doesn't seem to have any remorse at all for the potential abuse of power that occurred which led to Kevin's conception. Thinking about how Pete was the one most likely to make jokes objectifying women with Kevin. Thinking about how Kevin was likely raised believing he was some sort of miracle or chosen one, destined for great things solely because acknowledgment of the shame surrounding the circumstances of his birth would require Pete admitting fault. Thinking about how normalized it must have been in his childhood to see women being talked down to, objectified, sexualized and made into nothing more than plot devices to powerful men. Thinking about the sense of entitlement he must have had baked into him, and the deep fear hiding underneath all of it that one day everyone is going to realize he's his father's biggest skeleton in the closet. Thinking about this show having one of the most nuanced and complex portrayals of the cycle of abuse and patriarchal violence that I've ever seen!!!
#btw just so im very clear. this is not a kevin sympathy post#but i have seen people talking about pete as if hes nothing more than another one of kevins victims#and i havent finished the show just yet (i have 3 episodes left) but i get the vibe that Pete by and large shaped who kevin is#just like any parent#and now hes living with the monster he created because he couldnt face his own mistakes and abuses of other people#with any kind of integrity#godddd this show is so good#kevin can fuck himself#kevin can f himself#pete mcroberts#kevin mcroberts#like its all so subtle and unsaid but it works so well!!#the way that abusers are created not through oppression and suffering but through social structures which normalize and reward abuse#like the church and specifically the priesthood
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tbh I think people deeply misunderstand the dynamic between harrow and ortus. imagine ur thirty years old working a minimum wage job and living in ur moms basement. ur manager is an overacheiving high schooler who knows the employee handbook by heart. like she will garnish ur wages if u don't upsell vigorously enough but also she needs a ride home because her learners permit says she's not allowed to drive past 8 pm. ortus nigenad is victim of the alienation of labor, send tweet.
#harrow nonagesimus#ortus nigenad#the locked tomb#etc etc etc#i think we all have a lot of sympathy for harrow bc she has truly gone thru hell#but also like. cmon guys. she also deliberately and conciously put everyone else thru hell and enjoyed it too#ortus simpathizer hours#also idk what has come over me but i have the nearly irressistable urge to write tbh as turburculosis h#get it cuz like tb#anyways.
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Crybaby 🫵
#I think Franco's crying habit is so so so cute but don't get it twisted I have no sympathy for him#Mommy will give you something to cry about you little wretch#l hate him I want to hold him while he ugly cries about some stupid petty bullshit and gets tears and snot and drool all over me#fanart#doodles#Franco Barbi#the outlast trials
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Every Boromir hater makes my enormous love for him grow stronger. Sorry you couldn't understand him, I get him tho and we're holding hands and the whole of Gondor is laughing at you
#lotr#boromir#tbh i think id actually have a good time chatting w a boromir hater if they knew and understood the material but still hated him#cuz most people who dislike this man do because of very shallow reasons#'he was upset looking down at narsil' one can only wonder why that has baggage for a gondorian and the stewards son#'he didnt accept aragorn at first' yea i bet when a dirty ass ranger claims the throne of a kingdom without having lived there#when your fam took care of it for several generations it doesnt feel super great and you Might be a bit upset and worried about it#'he tried to take the ring from frodo' despite disagreeing w the councils decision he still earnestly followed them to destroy the ring#and he only fell after weeks of traveling as the ring whispered to him threats of destruction#one that unlike the rest of the fellowship was already Actively happening and had been happening for a long time#you see ur cities fall and people die everyday as the 1st line of defense against ultimate evil and we tell you not to use a perfect weapon#while said weapon tells you yes it will fix everything just grab it go on boy#and echoes words your father has been pushing onto you all throughout#it feels like people just have no sympathy compassion or understanding for all he's gone through or for the power of the ring#deep breath. im ok#im normal about boromir and my heart doesnt shatter at every rewatch of his death#id have followed you my steward.
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Rainbows (Patreon)
#Doodles#UT#Handplates#Papyrus#Sans#This rainbow is all out of order - and so many negative glows ah :0#I didn't mean for them to trend negative! They were just easier to imagine the expressions - maybe I'll take a second pass on the positives#Or in green's case the negative :')#Again in order of when I drew them so kinda all over the place haha#I wanted to go in order! And then I got distracted pft - thus started with red ow :(#Honestly I was thinking of it just being a surprise-pain more than anything lol - like a splinter haha that wouldn't even pierce him!#D'you think that eyeglows could also act like automatic word-responses? Like how we say ''Ow'' when we're surprised but not hurt sometimes#Silly haha#The second is a lot less silly-intended tho more actual pain#It's also sad to think that Sans' red would pretty much have to be sympathy/emotional pain :(#The kind of survivors guilt of not being able to shoulder more but he's so fragile! It's not his fault!#I am quite happy with both of their expressions there tho especially their mouth shapes - and how the colours interact with their eyes#Lineless colours are some of my favourites :) You can tell it's my pencils and not my pen there 'cause it's feathery hehe#For example Edgar's scars are usually with my pen and they have an almost hard-line quality while my pencils are soft :) S'pretty#Switched colours! I unfortunately misremembered what their meanings were oops lol#Well I got them kinda half-right - I like blue as skeptical quite a lot :D I think it suits them both!#Sans as wary and logical and wanting to keep distance to assure his safety and what he can devote energy to - I like it!#And Papyrus using his brother's colour to be grown up in the way that Sans is hehe <3 It's sweet#I misremembered orange lol I assigned blue's alt meaning of ''curiousity'' - orange is meant to be bravery! Oops lol#I think I was thinking of Papyrus' childlike excitement and wanting to know and be involved! Haha#Greeeeens <3 Happy boys happy with each other! I love when they're happy ♥ Interlocked holding hands hehe#Pinks! Along a similar line! I like pink as platonic affection :D And as embarrassment lol but hgg the sweetness! The care and love!#Is my bias showing lol - especially with the bros sleeping on each other haha ♪ They're both happy to know the other is safe!#Couple'a stresses - I like Sans' more I'm not even gonna sugarcoat lol his expression turned out so good haha#And the inverse for the purples! I do like Sans' face but his body :P Papyrus tho - he turned out sad and perfect :')
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HUSK, Hotel Bartender & Concierge | 1x04 - Masquerade
"Oh, I FORGOT — you're the wise-old bartender who's seen it all! Get the fuck over yourself and pour me a real drink."
#hazbin hotel#husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin husk#hazbin hotel edit#masquerade#my gifs#character spotlight#Certified Redemption ☑︎#hello hi i'm in love with the kitty man like actually#he NEEDS more screentime in s2 in fact he needs his own episode#PLS PLS she confirmed that we're gonna get to know some (but not all) of the character's backstories in s2 PLEASE LET HUSK BE ONE OF THEM#I'LL ACTUALLY DIE THANK YOU#alright i'm coming back to these tags to point stuff out#first off - the fact that he closes his eyes and shakes his head and reaches up to hold his suspenders before offering actual help#physically hyping himself up to lend a hand even though his whole thing is having an empty shell of a heart - apparently.#AAAAAA#but ALSO#holding his suspenders - self soothing gesture possibly? he knows lending a hand could give way to vulnerability on his end regardless if h#even shares personal information about himself or not - at the BARE MINIMUM he is saying ''look. i care a little. okay?'' by even OFFERING#help to begin with. AND OTHER THING!!!!!!!#the fact that he himself bitched and moaned earlier that episode about how EVERYONNEEE likes to bitch to the bartender#and he talks about how he knows everything about everyone seemingly against his better wishes#it's all part of the job he's forced to do#so you could also look at him shaking his head as a way for him to literally ''shake off'' that attitude because again. HE CARES.#even if it's just a little.#then GODDDDD his reaction to angel breaking down. the way he softens. his ears go down. he looks to the ground.#his ''old crusty heart'' was actually touched - not in the happy way of course. it was pain. struck with sympathy and remorse.#LISTEN I LOVE THIS GOD DAMN CAT OKAY
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I'm sorry I let down my guard.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#xue yang#xiao xingchen#God DAMN this scene was brutal. Season 2 episode 2 is almost nothing but misery and anguish#Helena by Nickle Creek does not quite fit the comic's vibe but it is absolutely a Xue Yang song so I linked it.#The change from “Helena don't walk away...(gentle)” to “HELENA. DON'T WALK AWAY (threat)” is fantastic.#And “Don't waste your pretty sympathy - I'll always be just fine”. Xue Yang core.#Okay now for the real meat. Disclaimer first: *I really like XY.* I think he's a great character. I think his actions consistently-#come from a place of deep trauma. While his reactions and actions put him in a villainous role he is still human about his hurt#and what I'm about to say is NOT intended to be a statement of causality or villianize a group of misunderstood people.#So with that said...Man oh man does Xue Yang have a lot of BPD traits. More that just 'character who is chronically manipulative'.#The impulsivity and emotional reactions and seeking stability makes him feel like he needs that control. What other choice is there?#The part that really gets me is how he *wants* to be safe and happy. But his past experiences tell him how thats impossible#He's the kind of person who goes 'if you don't like me then you better hate me for something substantial". All (pos) or All (neg)#''Love me entirely or Hate me. But don't you dare leave me or forget about me.''#Not at all comfortable saying 'BPD coded'. Im not a psychiatrist. Just that he has TRAITS. Feel free to disagree or add your thoughts.#ppl with bpd also are not a monolith and everyone has very different experiences. Xue yang is very complex. People more so.
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i feel like this is a hot take, but it's clear to me that so much of ianthe's outward projection of superiority is a deeply ingrained — really, formative — sense of inadequacy. it's to prove to everyone, even the people who were supposed to love her, who were supposed to inherently value her, that she does actually have value — in fact, she has the most value because look at what she can DO!
and i don't even think she's entirely internalized that, but that kind of projection kind of falls apart if you show even a moment of self-doubt
and i know ianthe isn’t supposed to be sympathetic here, or at least i’m assuming she’s not to most people, but can you imagine the body horror of being inextricably tied to and irrevocably altered by the guy you grew up with and didn’t even really like and who didn’t like you either (but who served you because that was his Role, and, who, even though you’ll never admit it, you maybe even cared about a bit because at a certain point that’s kind of unavoidable - i know she tried to convince palamedes she didn’t, but she is a known liar prone to sentimentality), but it was fine because you knew you were better than him, too?
except now you're not exactly, not entirely better than him, because he's not just fueling you, you didn't get to just use him to become someone who matters. instead, he's part of you, and you still don't matter?
like from what she says about her parents' reaction to the canaan house aftermath, even that part didn't work. she didn't earn mommy and daddy's validation, admiration, anything
and she's running his empire, but she's still third place to surrogate daddy, too. if she even places!
ianthe naberius is very much the consequences of her own actions, i’m not going full apologia here, just imagining being in that position and. goddamn
#ianthe tridentarius#the unwanted guest#naberius tern#the locked tomb#harrow the ninth#nona the ninth#ianthe naberius#tridentarii#cw ianthe#m.tlt#tlt#anyway#†#i say all of this when actually i may be entering my ianthe apologist era i have a whole in defense of essay in my head that#i haven’t been up to articulating so far 🤡#like boo hoo poor her but like also KIND OF MAYBE IDK IDK LISTEN IM JUST SAYING#people have so much sympathy for harrow because of her childhood trauma but i feel likeeee. ianthe’s childhood sounds profoundly fucked and#neglectful even from the small glimpses we’ve gotten into it so far#doesn’t excuse her at all and also yes obviously harrow has taken concrete steps towards becoming a better person even having spent less#time being an adult i'm not discounting that at all i'm not saying they're exactly the same#just ALSO!#you know etc etc i’ll get to it eventually maybe
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