#I have literally only just rewatched the first two episodes and I’m already falling in love all over again

[white-weasel]

Been needing to distract myself so I started rewatching the Young Justice tv show (coincidentally almost exactly 5 years to the day of the day I first started it) and y’all…… this shit is so good. I forgot just how HARD the first season goes

[melanatedeuph0ria]

my initial thoughts on the bear s3 (having only gotten to ep 5)

im not even mad ab the whole sydcarmy breakdown in s3 rn I’m just like disappointed because what the fuck man

I’m only on ep 5 and I’m not gonna lie to y’all if this was as good and actually interesting as season 2 I’d be eating it up and binging that shit as much as I did last year. Well now I rlly can’t because I just HAD to rewatch the show w my parents so now that means I have to wait until they’re in the mood to watch it to watch it with them so I don’t feel like I’m betraying them for watching episodes on my own (mostly my mom tbh) but like ts is NOT speaking to me man

like I NEVER use “man” at the end of my sentences like that only when I’m actually exasperated and fucking tired of the shit something or somebody is pulling

Like FROM WHAT IVE SEEN this season has only showed me that like OKAY I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE FAKS IM JUST SEEING THEM WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH LIKE…WHY IS JOHN CENA HERE STOP TRYING TO MAKE SHIT INTERESTING BY INSERTING RANDOM FUCKING CELEBRITIES INTO YO SHIT FIRST OF ALL

SECONDLY I’m pissed with how CARMY IS TREATING MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK QUEEN PRINCESS DUCHESS SYDNEY

Like what happened man 😕

It was legitimately going so so so SO WELL IN SEASON TWO

LIKE I HAD HOPE INDISPUTABLE HOPE ABOUT THEM GETTING TOGETHER

LIKE HUH

but then this WHITE MAN has the nerve to treat her like GARBAGE

FIRST FROM GETTING INTO A FIGHT WITH RICHIE FOR NO FUCKING REASON CAUSING RICHIE TO FALL OVER AND SPILL ALL OF THE HARD EXPO ORDER WORK SYDNEY WAS WORKING ON

LIKE I WOULD HAVE BEEN GONE BYE RESTAURANT WITH NO FUCKING SIGN ON THE FRONT LIKE WHO DO YALL THINK YALL AREEE

ALSO I FIND IT DISRESPECTFUL AS HELL

DISRESPECTFUL THAT THIS NIGGA IS ASKING HER “WHAT DO I DO WITH CLAIRE???” LIKE LMAO WHY NOBODY GIVE A FUCK

I THINK IM MOVING TO THE SIDE OF THE ARGUMENT THAT SYDNEY DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS MAN

AND I WIULDVE THOUGHT HE WOULDVE BEEN AT LEAST A LITTLE, MAYBE A LITTLE MORE GENTLRR WITH HER DURING COOKING TOME OR WHAGEVER TF BUT HE STILL JUST AS GORDON RAMSAY-ISH WITH HER LIKE WITH ANYONE

WTF DID WE DO STORER

LIKE WHY R U BEING A BITCH ABOUT SYDCARMY SHIPPERS LIKE U JUST PUT A BIG ASS HOLE IN THEIR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP

LIKE OKAY THEY DONT HAVE TO GET TOGEHRHER WHATEVER IF THEY DONT ILL STILL BE PISSED BUT WHATEVER

BUT I FEEL LIKE

UGH IDK

I CAME TO SEE A LIL ROMANCE THE NITTY GRITTY. LIKE EW HOW THE HELL ARE YALL GOING TO BE SHOWING CLAIRE AND CARMY KISSING IN THE DARK LIKE I DONT CARE WHAT TYPE OF WORK SHE DOES I DONT GAF AB WHAT SHE DO FOR WORK LIKE I APPRECIATE HER BEING A NICE PERSON TO THESE KIDS AND STUFF BUT CMON

CARMY AINT CALL HER NOT ONCE THIS WHOLE TIME IVE BEEN WATCHING

RICHIE IS THE ONLY ONE IM FR INTERESTED IN MARCUS TOO BECAUSE HE TRYNA DO SOME EXPERIMENTAL SHIT OUTSIDE OF THIS STRSSSFUL ASS ENVIRONMENT

AND SINCE WHEN DID THEY STILL OPERATE THE BEEF?!? I THOUGHT THEY CLOSED THAT SINCE WHRN IS A BRANCH OF THAT STILL OPERATING AND WHY IS ONLY EBRA IN CHARGE?!?

I THOUGHT THEY BUILT OVER THE RESTAURANT AND TURNED IT INTO WHATEVER THE FUCK IT IS NOW I MIGHTA MISSED A PLOT POINT BUT I DONT REMEMBER THAT EVEN BEING SAID

ALSO WHI IS THAT MAN WHO WALTZED INTO THE BEAR REASTUARSNT AND WAS TALKING W CARMY AS HE WAS CUTTING SOME SHIT AND WHO ALSO WAS AT THE WINDOW OF THE BEEF LIKE WHO ARE YOU HO LIKE R U A FAK OR WHAT BITCH

CARMY IS JUST TOO SAME OLD SAME OLD FOR ME LIKE CAN WE PLEASE CHANGE FOR ONCE IN OUR LIVES

LIKE I UNDERSTAND RICHIE ON THE FIRST EP LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DO U MEAN UR SORRY WHEN U LITERALLY CALLED ME A LEECH FOR WANTING TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS FAMILY BECAUSE HE DOESNT HAVE ONE TO RLLY CALL HIS OWN?!?!? LIKE CARMY CAN YOU CHILL OUT THIS MAN ACTUALLY LOVES YOU NO PAWSE

from what I’ve watched already its okay NOT TO SAY THE ACTORS ARE BECAUSE THE ACTORS DID AN INCREDIBLE PERFOMANCE AS USUAL LIKE THEIR SKILLS ARE STILL GREAT BUT I DONT LIKE WHAT THEY HAVE YALL DOIN WITH THAT AND ITS PISSING ME AWFF DONT PMOOOOO

ALSO IS IT JUST ME OR DO I FEEL LIKE THE BLACK CHARACTERS ARENT GETTING SHIT THIS SEASON

LIKE MARCUS AND TINA..OKAY OKAY THEY GOT THEY LIL EPISODES

BUT WHAT AB NOW IN THE PRESENT

I THINK WHO IM MAINLY TALKING AB IS SYD, EBRA, AND GARY I DAMN NEAR FORGOT HIS NAME BECAUSE WE NEVER EVER EVERRRR SEE HIM. EVER.

LIKE I ACTUALLY LIKE HIS CHARACTER I WANT TO SEE MORE OF HIM HE SEEMS COOL

okay main points:

* syd deserves better

* syd needs to stop being a lil mean to her dad idk I might be soft but like (it HAD to be said cs why r u being so rude to him for having genuine concerns about this murky ass apartment u finna dig into yo pockets to pay for?? ALSO this sussy ass partnership w this man liiiiiioke…)

* they seemed to care more ab carmys failing and anticlimactic relationship with claire than marcus’s late mother (ALSO I couldn’t help but notice SYDNEY was the only one, THE ONLY ONE who came to support this man as they were cleaning his mom’s hospice equipment out of his house…LIKE YALL HAVE NOTHING TO DO COME HELP??? like okay they came to his funeral which I appreciate y’know but still that part irks me)

* ts feels like filler at its finest somebody already said that but I felt like it had to be restated, like if CLAIRE YO

* IF CLAIRE IS THE MAIN DAMN PLOT POINT FOR THIS NIGGA CARMY RN AND IS THE ONE DRIVING HIM TO DO ALL THIS CRAZY NONNEGOTIABLE SHIT TO GET HIS MIND OFF OF IT IM DONE

* okay I’m done thank y’all for listening

* also I’m writing this on my notes app so I just copied it over

*ok bye y’all ty for listening !!! :3

UPDATE: I just read a few posts on here giving different perspectives and now I feel like I might’ve missed some stuff 😭

like maybe this is just setting it up to LOOK LIKE syd and carmy aren’t ever happening just to make season 4 and have them

idk how to even end that sentence

[violivs]

NMTDaily: All Round Great Guy

- Hoo boy, get ready to cringe, folks. This episode, man.

- “So, some people seem to be upset about something that apparently happened at Pedro’s costume party” This opening is interesting in that it could easily set us up to think we’re getting Bea’s side of the story on her argument with Ben. But actually, she’s here to defend Pedro and Hero.

- Right now, Bea and Pedro are a united front. He defended her to Ben last episode; here she is defending Pedro to her audience because, as we see in the video description, he asked her to.

- This is a parallel to the eventuality of Bea having to make videos defending Hero from a situation Pedro’s involved with later. She starts defending them both, but ends up defending Hero FROM Pedro (and Claudio).

- Bea is about to unintentionally make the first big crack in the foundation of the Bea-Pedro friendship in this episode, sadly.

- We find out that Pedro won the race for Student Leader. This does make his asking Bea to make and post this video for him feel a bit like a politician caught in a scandal, trying to cover his ass and avoid damaging his image.

- Pedro, like Ben, cares a lot about what people think of him. He also doesn’t feel like he really is the person he presents as to others. For Pedro, though, it’s about living up to the ideal leader figure people already see him as. For Ben, it’s about trying to impress people because he doesn’t have that ideal popular guy image- he’s kind of still the New Kid who has to prove himself.

- Are double peace signs a bisexual stereotype like finger guns? (Are finger guns even a bi thing or am I misremembering the memes?)

- “You know that he’s actually a really nice guy and he knows his shit.” Love dramatic irony that only becomes dramatic irony upon rewatch!

- Pedro going overboard with praise for Hero while trying to tell us how he DOES NOT have feelings for her is definitely funny. It also says something given how quickly he’s going to turn on a dime about her later. His regard for her here is just words.

- There’s a really good meta by @thebirdscomeback about how women like Hero can never win because if you’re so nice and kind and sweet you must be hiding something, and that is really going to become apparent in future episodes.

- “Everything you may have heard on the vlogs of Benedick was not the truth.” Pedro is acting like he wasn’t IN two of those videos. He didn’t make an effort to clarify things with Ben or ask him not to upload them. He could have.

- Also, Bea has no way of knowing Pedro was in those videos because she doesn’t watch Ben’s channel. So he’s omitting that information to keep her on his side.

- Pedro has taken the note from viewers in the comments on Ben’s videos that “people aren’t property.” But he hasn’t internalized that truth, because he will definitely go on to support the idea that Claudio’s claim to Hero’s body has been violated, when the eventuality happens.

- Meanwhile Ben, who casually uses objectifying language about Pedro stealing Hero from Claudio, will step up and believe and defend Hero. That’s it in a nutshell.

- Claudio and Hero are now officially together! Being sickly sweet together down at the park. And the audience that doesn’t know the plot of the play is happy for them, awww!

- Bea is even happy for them, because she likes that Hero is happy. That’s big for her, and very sweet.

- “Now they’re coupled, and I’m the only one left alone in this mean old world!” Beatrice is being sarcastic here, but Pedro isn’t picking up on that, because he doesn’t want to.

- He’s looking at Bea very fondly. I do feel bad for him, this is brutal.

- “I could be your Prince Charming.” You can actually see him consider and make the decision to take the plunge and say that.

- You can also literally SEE Pedro’s face fall, in real time, as he realizes Beatrice’s answer is to laugh at him. Caleb Wells is excellent at facial expressions in acting.

- Now, for Beatrice, this whole conversation has been a joke. She’s been kidding around about being lonely, he’s been kidding back about finding her someone. I think she genuinely believes at first that Pedro is making a joke. They’ve been so platonic for so long that of course the idea of Pedro being her prince romantically is a joke. So she laughs.

- Pedro chuckles a little, trying to play it off like it was a joke. But he hesitated way too long before laughing, so even without seeing his face, Bea knows she messed up.

- Bea is immediately very uncomfortable, making a ‘yikes’ face and babbling and waving her hands. She feels bad about laughing at Pedro. I also think that she laughs and smiles when she’s nervous, so she keeps doing that here even though she’s making it worse for Pedro by doing so.

- Basically, I maintain that Beatrice didn’t mean to hurt Pedro in this scene. If he had very seriously asked her on a date, she would still have been caught off guard, but would have calmly let him down easy. But because she thought they were joking around, she didn’t know until too late that she was in a delicate situation where not laughing in his face would be preferable.

- To her credit, her first words after this are to offer not to post this online. She doesn’t want to embarrass him further. It’s Pedro who insists she post it, probably in large part just to save face in this moment. (This is confirmed in the comment section, where Bea literally tells someone Pedro ‘wanted this posted to show how fine it is’. Cue the meme: they ask how you are and you say you’re fine but you’re not really fine…)

- “People will laugh about it” = “I’M laughing about it, you definitely didn’t hurt me at all by rejecting me, go ahead and show the world, I’m totally fine I promise”

- I do still read Pedro through the lens that his crush on Bea was real. I do think he was also starting to feel attraction to guys, and feel confused by it, and that makes asking out Bea a good way to distract himself from that. But he was into her, at the same time. He wasn’t deeply in love with her or anything, it wasn’t that serious, but yeah. Pouring your energy into a genuine straight crush to minimize your still-present queer attractions is a huge closeted bi experience. (In the play, how much Pedro is actually interested in Beatrice depends entirely on how the role is performed by the actor, so it’s up for interpretation there and here.)

- “I just can’t take you seriously” is the line where I’m like, okay, you didn’t have to tell him that, Bea. That was a little harsh, but in a way that’s very in character for her.

- Pedro tells us that he apologized to Claudio (even though he didn’t do anything to make Claudio think he was into Hero?) and that it’s all okay between them.

- Pedro and Bea both acknowledge that Claudio has a jealous streak. “But it’s all okay now” or is it???

- I have to wonder whether John is watching the videos at this point. The knowledge he’d get here of how well his plan worked in terms of upsetting Claudio is definitely a big push toward continuing to use Claudio’s jealous streak against him and Pedro. John knows he was right about Claudio’s weak spot now.

- Another thing that lives rent-free in my brain: Benedick is still watching Beatrice’s videos at this point. He would have seen this video. He would have been extremely confused about why it filled him with angst and annoyance to see Pedro ask Bea out. What I’m pitching to you here is Jealous Ben. Who definitely breathed a sigh of relief when Bea shot Pedro down- and was immediately like “wtf, am I happy about this? No. No. I have No Feelings About This At All, Actually.” *punches the air anyway*

- Interesting that after being falsely accused of pursuing his friend’s crush, Pedro then immediately actually does ask out his other friend’s crush. To be fair to Pedro, not even Ben knows for sure yet that Ben likes Bea, so Pedro isn’t knowingly asking out Ben’s crush. But it’s funny that it happened anyway.

- “Pedro’s a great guy, we’re just friends, and there’s no confusion anywhere.” - Bea, doing damage control

- Comment awards: Beatrice the character replying to a commenter that called this “the worst friend-zoning I’ve ever seen”, by going on a rant about how the friend zone doesn’t exist and is an anti-feminist concept. Perfectly in character and true.

- Comment round-up: people praising the excellent acting here; someone noticing that Beatrice is wearing the necklace Hero made her; a WILD amount of Pedro/Beatrice shippers who apparently existed, one of whom coined the ship name #pea; many people just hoping Pedro finds someone, including early Pedrazar shippers and people volunteering themselves as tribute.

- I am so glad this fandom never had any x-reader fics, on that note. No harm to people who like reader-inserts, but it would just feel weird, you know?

- It’s also really interesting to me that there WERE Pedro/Bea shippers, but their interest never coalesced into any significant amount of actual fanworks. Funny how some noncanon rarepairs flourish and others fade once the canon outcome becomes apparent. It’s probably because of their falling-out making fans reevaluate the viability of their relationship, and also just people finding other ships more compelling over time.

- Sad to see the first blow to Bea and Pedro’s friendship. It’s hard to get rejected, AND it’s hard to feel a friend pulling away because you couldn’t reciprocate their feelings for you. I feel bad for both of them.

💖🥭🦩

[wander-wren]

hey tristamp gang let’s talk about wolfwood’s contract for a sec

i’m sure people have discussed this already but it’s my turn and i’m going to pretend i’m the first thanks. pls remember i have the observational skills of a potato and it literally took me two rewatches to realize william/conrad/doctor man is the one who experimented on tesla even tho it’s like, really obvious. so. onward!

transcribed, all of that says

Pastor’s Contract

The Eye of Michael and Nicholas D. Wolfwood’s, Pastor of the St. Michael’s Church, do hereby enter into the following contract with respect to their work. The Pastor agrees to faithfully perform all duties as commanded in the Eye of Michael, effective June 2nd S.E. 110, and to abide by all rules and regulations, swearing in the name of the two angels sent by God.

The Pastor agrees to receive immortal glory from the Priest William through the suffering of the Holy Angels.

In the event of abandonment of his duties, or in the event that the Executive Board determines that there is sufficient cause, the Pastor shall be permanently expelled from the Eye of Michael and St. Michael’s Church, and the family members of the Pastor shall be subject to the same punishment.

I hereby agree to the terms listed in the aforementioned contract. Nicholas D. Wolfwood.

Special Note: If the work is approved, the Hopeland Orphanage and the surrounding area shall be excluded from the pilgrimage site. William Conrad.

so! that’s incredibly vague. the very first thing i’m interested in is the date (fun fact, i saw this episode again on june 2nd, so it jumped out at me). we know that this episode takes place on july 21st, which is the twins’ birthday.

however, that date says the twins were born in 2455, whereas the year of the contract being enacted is S.E. 110. i have no idea what S.E. stands for, or why it’s 110. it’s not years-since-big-fall, since we also know that took place approximately 150 years ago (according to brad in ep9). even if this contract was written when wolfwood was a kid, he’s only supposed to be in his early 20s right now.

we DO get a date one other time afaik, and it’s meryl’s…resume? resume.

and THAT is…a different calendar. her birthdate is listed as PE081, making it currently PE104 if she is 23. so my current theory is that the EoM is simply running on their own funky calendar that’s about 20 years off from time-since-big-fall, and this contract was drawn up when wolfwood first joined them. which is not satisfying. i want to know the calendar. but fine.

this also begs the question of what the hell wolfwood’s alliance to the EoM is during stampede. bc he just appears out of the desert, which could mean anything. i literally can’t tell if he’s actively following orders to bring vash to knives or not. the contract kinda makes it seem like he is, but also not much else about his actions does? and then, of course, we have livio hunting him, which seems like he’s definitely on the run.

so then….what is this contract, actually. i’m second guessing whether i’m dumb right now, because all it stipulates is that he follows orders, basically, or else he gets kicked out, but wolfwood seems like he wants to get kicked out, so why….why would he follow it??

i guess it might be because of the special note, that the orphanage will be excluded from the “pilgrimage site,” and i don’t know what THAT means either but i’m going to assume “hey we won’t kidnap and experiment on orphans anymore” which would be a pretty strong motivator.

but also, it kinda seemed, to me, that the contract being signed was releasing wolfwood from the EoM, which….makes no sense.

i may be missing something in all of this, but i can sympathize with wolfwood crumpling the paper up because what IS this thing, actually. has anyone else been able to make better sense of it.

[kramercafe]

Just finished watching What We Do In The Shadows (And rewatching it, like, three separate times in the two weeks since I first finished it. Not an exaggeration and might actually be low-balling the numbers a little) and I just wanted to share my thoughts on it:

Favorite main character is definitely Laszlo, but favorite character overall is a toss-up between Doll Nadja and the Guide.

Kristen Schaal literally kills it in every role she’s given and ngl after seeing her play the Guide I wanna see a fanfic that’s a crossover between WWDITS and Gravity Falls where Mabel gets turned into a vampire (Probably by Nadja, knowing her) and maybe meets the Guide. They’d get along so well. I just know it. Mabel could give her problematic romantic advice from bad 80s movies about her crush on Guillermo, the Guide could give Mabel command of her wraiths for the night only for them to lay waste to New York City, it’d just be nonstop fun for those two!

Fave episode is by and far the witch one. Is it wrong that I really want to see a spin-off that’s a mockumentary about witches now? They could set it in the same universe, we could have plenty of jokes about semen and its many uses (Magnets or otherwise), one of the main characters could see Laszlo walking around wearing his hat and just say something like “So, that’s why Beverly stopped returning my letters.” I’m telling you it writes itself.

Favorite season is season three. Love the whole vampiric council storyline, plus seeing Laszlo and Colin Robinson bond is really wholesome to watch.

I absolutely looooove the Simon The Devious and Laszlo’s witch skin hat storyline. I mean, if the man is willing to make a 150 episode home renovation show just so he can steal a cursed hat, honestly he probably deserves to keep it (But I’d be lying if I said I wanted that storyline to end)

I love how in this show everyone in the main cast is at least a little bit gay. We never get shows like that and frankly I am THERE for it!

I really wish they didn’t just dump Jenna as a character after season one. Granted, for all we know she could still be there with the main cast and we just don’t see her lol.

I really really reeeeaaally want Nandor and Guillermo to just admit they love each other! We all know it! Guillermo was crushing on Nandor for a good portion of season three, Nandor clearly prematurely ejaculated with his wife because the djinn made him think about Guillermo (At least I assume that’s why she was comforting him afterwards. It certainly sounded like the kinds of things you’d say to your partner if they did that), and then Marwa got all lovey dovey with Guillermo at the wedding because SHE LIKES WHATEVER NANDOR LIKES! AAAAAAH!!! Just kiss already, you two!

Final thoughts: I wish we had more shows like this. It’s original, it’s hilarious, it’s gay and gender as all hell, I just want more! Can anyone tell me when the next season is scheduled to come out, assuming we have that information already? If I need to wait a whole fucking year or whatever to see more of these fools, I will scream so loud it will make Nadja cry tears of pride! Seriously, can’t wait for more of these fucking guys!

[noperopesaredope]

SvtFoE Rhombulus Rewrite (Pt. 2)

I’m back, baby. Here’s the first part which also has a link to the context post. And now for the actual important stuff that you actually care about (but just for Season One because I like splitting things into parts I guess):

Season 2:

- Rhombulus is basically the same guy as before in Season 2, but I will add some stuff. But he’s basically the same.

- In “Page Turner”, he is literally exactly the same. Nothing is different. It has everything I need for this and sets him up perfectly, both his personality, flaws, relationships, and room for growth.

- It most importantly shows his impulsiveness and how he acts without thinking, as well as his relationships with the others and how he is treated like a child. He dislikes Glossaryck while also seeking his approval. He’s often left out of these important meetings because of his slightly immature attitude and place as the youngest and least experienced of the MHC. These will all be important to his arc.

- Since “Crystal Clear” is the first episode where we actually get to know this guy, I will make a slight few changes, but not many.

- First off, Star and Rhombulus have had slightly more interactions before this episode in comparison to canon, though not that many, and they still barely know each other anyways.

- In terms of the dynamic between Rhombulus and Lekmet, no one is really sure who’s taking care of whom. Lekmet acts as a bit of a parental figure to Rhombulus, while Rhombulus is basically looking after a senior citizen. It will subtly show that they care about each other a lot and have a pretty close bond, which we can kinda see in the episode already, but I’m just extra pointing this out, as it will be important for later.

- During their more personal conversation, the two might also connect over how they are seen as immature and incapable of handling responsibility. They don’t get particularly into it, but if Star ever mentions how she’s both expected to be responsible while still not being taken seriously, Rhombulus will admit that he feels the same way a lot, but not really elaborate on this.

- Honestly, upon rewatching that episode? It sets up everything I liked about Rhombulus as a character and everything I want to explore as well. Those moments where he’s talking to his hands or to himself perfectly capture a lot of his insecurities and issues, as well as his general personality. It basically sets up a great potential character arc...that fact honestly makes me even more mad that they didn’t do anything with it.

- “Face the Music” stays the same because Rhombulus supporting Star was nice and also I don’t feel like changing all that.

- I’d only change one thing about “Starcrushed”, and that is a small moment between Rhombulus and Lekmet. When Rhombulus notices Lekmet reviving people and tells him “you can’t keep doing that, Chancellor,” I’d instead change it to this:

- Lekmet revives Rhombulus, who takes a second to look at the battle, then to Lekmet, who, like in the show, falls to his knees. Rhombulus looks at him with concern and, putting a hand on the Chancellor’s shoulder, (very emotionally) says “Lekmet, please, you know what’ll happen if you do that again.” 

- This is important because Rhombulus will always refer to him as Chancellor before this line. This is a more personal and open moment between the two of them and shows Rhombulus’ genuine concern for his elderly companion. 

- Lekmet weakly smiles at him and gives him a pat on the head, causing Rhombulus to tear up a bit before he nods and runs back into the battle. This is the last moment he will ever see Lekmet alive again.

Frick, now I’m making myself cry. This is going to happen multiple times throughout this AU. Which you will read more about LATER in Part 3!

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Let me propose an idea that lives in my head rent free. Ok so August and Sara😤Majority of the fandom hate them but me..

Ok hear me out; both of them are so complex. When you really pay attention to August you can see that he’s really just lost. He tried talking about his dad with Wille when they’re both outside peeing but Wille ignores him going on about Erik(understandable, he literally just died) and at the parents day lunch when someone assumes his step dad is his dad he gets so defensive. He’s clearly not past his dad committing sewerslide, and possibly hasn’t even had the opportunity to really open up about it. I can’t even imagine what kind of a toll that would take on you and he probably has many different thoughts regarding it. (Guilt,anger, etc) That could be why he started using, I assume. His relationship with his mom clearly isn’t great, and Erik said that Hillerska is basically his entire life now. The combination of the drugs, and School being the only thing going for him makes it very reasonable why he’s so serious and amped up about everything. Especially being apart of the Royal family. Outside of those things he literally doesn’t think he has anything. It makes sense why his character would take it so seriously. Now the whole video thing, I don’t really want to get into that bc I’m really high and I’m already using all the braincells I have to compel this. He did that out of spite of Wille telling everyone he was broke. I think it hit something in him mentally which fused him to leak the video. That in no way justifies it whatsoever. Afterwards though, you can tell he’s guilty. In his little actions/body language, you can tell. He looks like a clown but you can tell. Ok here’s my idea tho I kinda just went into an August deep dive without meaning to.

I think he’s redeemable, not forgivable. I’ve watched so many series that go on for a good amount of seasons, where in the last season the most loved character was the most hated in the first one. It happens so often in storytelling. I have a theory that he is actually genuinely gonna fall for Sara. Sara may or may not reciprocate deep feelings, maybe just minor or wanting to be with someone. And rewatching season 1 there’s this scene in I think episode two where August was trying to get Felice to go on a date with him, and she is talking to Stella and Fredrika about it after. They’re talking about how bad August is as a guy and Fredrika says “Real love can actually change you” that kinda seemed like foreshadowing to me idk. I’m so intrigued by Sara and Augusts dynamic. At first it was confusing and kinda icky but after all the rewatches I started to maybe kind of get it. August needs to be heard. I really think that’s it. Sara listened to him when she confronts him, let’s him vent and say how he really feels. And after all of that, after knowing he did something terrible, she tells him how she feels and what she wants, and then kisses him. If I were August in that situation I would feel accepted, heard, and maybe even understood. And like wait you want to kiss me after I just admitted all that? Sara was the first person that we have seen actually listen to his thoughts. It would so make sense if he actually falls for her. He’s clearly intrigued by her before that scene also, as she’s different from other girls he’s been with or talked to. If we have a season 3 or more I wouldn’t be surprised at all if we see a huge arc for him. I don’t think Sara will be his main storyline in this arc, just to make myself clear. It will need to be with Wille. Wille and Simon, as they’re the ones he fucked over. I don’t know where Lisa and the writers are going with him but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if something like this happens with his storyline. Who fucking knows, but if I’m actually onto something I’m gonna eat that shit up. Ok thank you for your time❤️🤩

Ok, hi bestie. I like where your head is. I think a lot of the same, too. In fact, I was just telling people the other day that the reason August is such a good villain is because he's not one. He's just a superbly fucked up kid. He's nuanced. He's not completely bad and not evil. He's just incredibly fucked in the head and he's drowning.

I honestly cannot wait to see where they go with his character. It's bound to be interesting. As much as I hate him, I cannot stop thinking about August and all the different layers of his character.

I've actually had a couple of posts recently about this type of stuff, so I'm going to link them:

Is August redeemable.

my thoughts on Sara/August.

my thoughts on August's attachment issues.

Happy reading, anon.

[jonsa101]

Episode 3x14: A Reflection of How Max Stepped Into Love After A Season of Suffering

Gif credit @supagirl

Hey guys! I can’t believe the season finale has come and gone! I think my mind is just taking time to comprehend everything that has happened! Sharpwin is officially canon! As I’m typing this out, it feels strange writing a meta on the other side of things. Since season one, I’ve been writing metas about how these two belong together and making predictions about the trajectory of their relationship. Now, to be on the other side of things where I know longer have to do that because these two are finally together is kinda crazy. I feel so elated!

Now y’all, I’m not going to lie to you, I had a totally different meta planned out and that meta is still in my drafts. I will probably release it because it was a general review of the episode but I thought it was more important that I put this meta out first. When I was watching the finale live, I didn’t love it. I just didn’t. I loved that Max and Helen finally got together at the end of the episode but I had a major issue with how it unfolded. The issue my friends was this scene right here: 

Baby!!! When I tell you this scene TRIGGERED me, it did! Now mind you, I wasn’t upset with Max’s storyline of searching and struggling to take off his wedding ring. It is human nature for Max to still have an emotional attachment to his ring. He’s not still grieving but essentially that ring is the only thing he has left of Georgia and represents a life he once had. Him taking it off was always going to be a monumental moment for Sharpwin and for himself. The issue that I had was Max casually telling Helen that he freaked out about losing his ring!!! To me, after the voicemail he left her, after Helen flew standby and was in a six hour flight to see him, it was an incredibly CALLOUS thing for Max to say. I know Max wasn’t thinking in this moment. I know his intentions were clearly not to hurt her but words matter and him being careless with his was a complete disregard of Helen’s feelings. She was deeply hurt and upset when he said this and rightfully so! I mean just look at her expression here:

Helen’s entire being read like

“I can’t believe you”

And girl same, because neither could I!! He knew he fucked up and he obviously made up for it in the end but y’all when I was watching it live, everything that came after that elevator scene was was tainted for me. I had a hard time believing that Helen would let what he said slide so easily and in the moment, I couldn’t appreciate the beauty of them finally coming together! 😩 In my personal opinion, there were so many other ways that scene could have played out without Max having to literally tell Helen to her face that he was worried about his wedding ring! I know they were trying to build up to the “big moment” where he finally takes his ring off and runs back to Helen’s apartment but man, that moment did not sit right with me in my spirit! It still doesn’t and I don’t think my opinion will ever change on this.

With that said, I’ve now done several rewatches of the finale where I specifically watched the scenes after that awful moment by the elevator. As I’ve had time to reflect, my perspective has changed. I no longer view the moments after the elevator scene as tainted but as something deeply profound and beautiful. Hell, even as I reflect on that scene by the elevator, I still don’t like it, but in a way I understand it in how it relates to Max’s overall journey when it comes to Helen. To me, Max Goodwin is a man who fell deeply in love with Helen in the midst of the most complex situations and a season of him suffering. It’s been deep rooted, complicated and messy from the start and over the past three years we’ve seen Max navigate through the complexities of his feelings for Helen and the circumstances he’s found himself in on our screens. I think when you look at season three finale and specifically the journey of Max finally making a choice to be with Helen, you have to put into context Max’s history and how it influenced what that looked like. So y’all that is exactly what I want to do in this meta so let’s dive in.

One thing I think we need to acknowledge is that, even though as an audience we have loved seeing Max and Helen’s journey unfold, the road has been so TOUGH for them. As Helen said in 3x13, it’s been a fight! Especially for Max. The suffering he has endured over the past three years has been unfathomable and much of his relationship with Helen and his feelings for her have been developed under these traumatic and tragic circumstances. 

At the very beginning of the series, when Max and Helen first meet they clash but it doesn’t last for long. It’s his first day at New Amsterdam and as the new Medical Director, he wants her to stay at the hospital and treat patients instead of doing press tours. Helen on the other hand wants to continue doing press and for the most part ignores his demands for her to return to the hospital. When she finally does return, she does so because she learns that Max has cancer. This bonds them at the onset as Helen is the only person in his life that knows about his diagnosis. As an audience, when we first see them interact, we instantly saw the sparks fly between them. Their chemistry and natural witty banter made us immediately take a look at their relationship and what potential they could have in the future. Though we were shocked by his cancer diagnosis, I think the fun and lightheartedness of Sharpwin’s first interactions really masked how traumatic this must have been for Max. On the first day of his dream job, that he sacrificed his marriage for, he learns that he has cancer while having a baby on the way. Those are the awful circumstances that first bring Max and Helen together. 

As Helen becomes Max’s doctor and he swears her to secrecy about his diagnosis, their friendship and bond grows deeper. His passion and drive to help his patients, reignites Sharpe’s love for medicine again and inspires her to put her patients first. They become vulnerable with each other more than anyone else in their lives. He confides in her about his broken marriage and she tells him that she wants a baby. When he almost dies, she becomes his deputy medical director so that he can focus on his care. All of these moments are significant to them because somewhere along the way they develop feelings for each other. They didn’t plan for it and it’s something neither of them are consciously aware of but unknowingly, they both start to fill a place in each other’s lives that was clearly more than a doctor and patient relationship or a friendship. This “place” wasn’t called out until episode 1x16 were the clairvoyant called out their feelings for each other. When episode 1x17 comes around, after a night of revelations and a scramble to get the power back on in the hospital, Helen decides to step back as his doctor. If she wasn’t aware of her feelings before, in this moment, she’s fully aware of them now. This is an effort to safeguard her heart and set boundaries because the lines of who they are to each other were already so blurred. When she “triages” their relationship Max’s reacts badly and honestly they’re both devastated and are on the verge of tears:

As viewers, we loved this moment but when you peel back the layers of what’s actually going on in this scene, it’s gut-wrenching. The subtext is so clear here yet their situation is so complex and layered. We know for a fact that Max wasn’t trying to lose her in ANY CAPACITY. We also know that in the way he TRULY wanted her he couldn’t have her and Helen knew that too. Not when he was married, had a baby on the way, and fighting cancer at the same time. Y’all that’s hard and profoundly painful when you think about it and it makes this scene all the more tragic. 

When Helen steps back as his doctor, at first Max seems to be handling it well but as his cancer starts to get worse, he completely breaks. Like I said earlier, over the course of his cancer treatment, Helen filled a place in Max’s life that was so much more than just his doctor or his friend. So when he’s dying and no longer has the person he feels deeply for play an active role in his treatment, he lashes out. He’s dealing with a range of emotions he can’t handle or properly process. Things only get worse from there and at the end of season one Georgia and Luna’s life are on the line and Bloom and Helen scramble to save them. When it seems like everyone was able to come out of that traumatic event unscathed, they get into a devastating ambulance crash that changes everything. 

Season 2 brings another level of pain and suffering for Max when he loses his wife after the crash and is thrust into single fatherhood. Not only is he grieving but he’s also dealing with guilt of falling in love with Helen while he was married. The complexities of his feelings is something he struggles with throughout this season and it affects his relationship with Helen. At some points he pushes her away and at others he desperately needs her. Once again, Helen and Max’s relationship is caught up in the most complex of circumstances that is riddled with agony and trauma. 

By time we head into season 3, Max doesn’t even have time to breathe or think about his relationship with Helen because they’re both thrust to the frontlines of the pandemic. 

I bring all of this up again to emphasize that there has never been a time where Max and Helen’s relationship hasn’t been wrapped up in trauma or some sort of suffering. It has always been one thing or another with them. It’s been A LOT and Max has tried to navigate being in love with Helen through his suffering and under these crazy ass circumstances. So after rewatching the finale, the questions that run through my mind are:

How do you step into love when all you’ve known for the past three years has been suffering?

How do you love openly and freely when for so long you’ve emotionally suppressed your feelings for someone because it was “wrong?” 

How do you let go, heal, and move on with your life?

To me, answering these questions is what the season finale for Max was all about. When you’ve suffered so much and endured so much it’s not easy to step into a new chapter in your life that’s hopeful and filled with love and possibilities. For Max, I don’t think in his wildest dreams that he ever imagined that he and Helen would be in a place where they could actually be together. Considering everything they’ve gone through, quite frankly it’s a fucking miracle! So when he actually makes it to the other side and not only SURVIVES but has a chance for happiness, I don’t think he knows what he’s doing. Pursuing/having feelings for Helen from a place that isn’t wrapped up in trauma and tragedy, where there are seemingly no obstacles in his way, is totally and completely new territory for Max. I think he’s clueless in how to do that in the right way and as he navigates through that, naturally there are hiccups.

That’s evident with what he said by the elevator and also in this moment here: 

Max doesn’t have a clue but he wants to make sure that he doesn’t fuck it up because he DESPERATELY wants this! I also think there’s something to be said about how we as human beings can self-sabotage ourselves when we finally have an opportunity to get what we want. Fear, guilt, worthiness usually comes into play with that and I think for Max there was definitely a fear with moving on with his life, guilt of surviving it all and having a chance to be with the woman he’s loved for so long, and a question of if he’s worthy of actually having happiness.

Their walk in my mind perfectly embodies him self sabotaging while also trying to navigate his feelings of desperately wanting to be with her. At the beginning of their walk, you see that at one point he clearly wants to hold Helen’s hand but he doesn’t (I would use a gif here y’all but I literally only have room for 10 😩). I’m focusing my attention on Max here because essentially this whole moment between them is a part of Max’s “mini story” in the episode. The ball has always been in his court and truly what we are witnessing is his journey to step into love because Helen is ready and has been waiting on him. 

The most compelling moment in their walk scene for me was this one: 

I find it strange for Max to walk so far ahead when he was the one who asked her if he could walk with her. My first thought while watching it live was “what is he doing” and I think Helen’s expression reads the same way. After analyzing this for a bit, I genuinely think that’s the point of this scene. Like I said earlier, Max doesn’t know what he’s doing. To be with Helen like this is, where its romantic, peaceful and drama free is probably blowing his mind and he doesn't know how to navigate this. He doesn’t know how to receive this second chance at happiness. 

The internal war of Max stepping into love or allowing fear, guilt, and unworthiness to hold him back becomes all the more evident when they get to Helen’s door: 

He knows he wants to come in. Helen know he wants to come in too. This man literally says goodnight twice and when Helen responds with “you said that,” it perfects this scene. She wants him to come in as well but she’s not going to ask him to. In this moment, she sees his internal struggle and she knows that he has to make the choice himself on whether or not he wants to move on with his life with her.

When he walks away, for a moment that was Max choosing to hold onto the pain and trauma of his past. That was him choosing to hold onto the guilt that was keeping him from healing and moving on. With the suffering he’s been through, it makes sense. In many ways he’s been conditioned to fight, to suffer and to endure. It’s what he’s used to. But praise the lord, he thinks of the moments he just shared with Helen. 

The joy he has with just being in her presence. 

The opportunity he has to freely be with her and have a life with her after loving her for so long.

He is not condemned to a life of suffering. It was only for a season. He’s in love with Helen and wants to be with her. Like hell is he going to let this opportunity at a second chance of love and happiness slip away from him. So guys, he slips off that ring, runs back to Helen’s apartment and makes a choice to step into love. Step into this new, uncharted, chapter of his life with Helen Sharpe. 

Anyway guys! I hope y’all enjoyed this! I might be releasing one more meta but we will see how it goes.

As always feel free to reach out to me on Tumblr and on Twitter @oyindaodewale. Love you guys!

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 7x04 Beauty

I freaking adore this episode! 

Storybrooke, I missed you!

Belle finally gets to travel the world! She’s wanted that since season 1, bless her.

Tilly! Loml! I remember being like, yay, fellow autistic! 

Who was Tilly’s ex-girlfriend? Was she real or just part of her fake memories? I still think it was Ivy. Give me all the Curious Archer/Rainy Rook love triangles! Ivy and Robin would absolutely hate eachother. I need more fics of this now! I may have already written one xD. Can’t believe we didn’t get any Alice with Ivy or Robin with Ivy interactions.

I love Tilly. Have I mentioned that??

Woah! That scared me!

I’m so happy for Belle, getting what she always wanted.

Love when Tilly speaks in riddles and all the Alice in Wonderland references!

It makes me so sad that Rumple feels like he was so intent on getting rid of the dagger that he didn’t feel like he focussed on Gideon as much as he wanted to.

What a freaking sacrifice Belle made. She allowed herself to age really quickly so Rumple could be free of the dagger. But wouldn’t it have been a better idea to wait until she grew old naturally and then they could go to that realm?

Is putting pills in a sandwich even effective? Not to mention she only took a small bite. 

When Tilly says, “You mean her pills”, does she mean they are Victoria Belfrey’s pills because she thinks she cast the curse or does she mean they are ‘Tilly’s’ pills because she doesn’t recognise herself as Tilly but rather Alice at this point? 

Oh my God, Tilly be careful jumping out of a car like that! If her Papa found out.

Really love that scene. I think that’s when I really fell in love with her character. Brb gonna watch it 3 more times!

But does time stop in the Edge of Realms? How did Belle age so fast if that’s the case.

This montage was genius.

Omg that parallel to her falling as she pulls the curtains! Stap it!

I feel like their search for Lucy should be more urgent. No time to chill, guys!

She doesn’t remember who Tilly is. It must be so confusing and frightening being half way between real and false memories.

The Alice in wonderland references! 

Omg I’m tearing up! This episode istg!

Omg you can’t give us all these flashbacks like this! I can’t handle it! 

Gaaaah! My eyes!!

Omg poor Rumple. 

They straight up killed Belle! But honestly it was such an emotional scene and episode in general I’ll excuse them. This rewatch really endeared me to Belle. I miss her already!

Tilly’s remembering!

Oh crap!

Did he instruct her specifically to shoot him before the curse? 

Gideon volunteering to straight up stab his dad lol. 

But Belle just said something about him needing to accept that their love transcends death and then they can be reunited. Maybe that’s what he did before he gave his heart to Wish Hook.

So because he went back in time, the time he went to has two Rumple’s (if you don’t count Wish Rumple). One of them is presumably travelling with Belle and Gideon while this one goes to the NEF.

How did we as a fandom not figure out that Alice was the Guardian earlier? He literally told us the portal would take him to the moment the Guardian was waiting for him and the portal took him to Alice. I wonder if Rumple figured out it was her straight away.

First Knightrook scene! Excuse me while I scream! I remember thinking her being Eloise or his daughter was to easy to figure out but I hoped it’d be her.

They’re playing the wrong sides! Love that detail! He moved the black rook next to the white knight! 

Like father like daughter with Lucy running off all the time.

I wish Henry stayed with them.

I wonder if Ivy really likes Henry or if she just wants to get to Jacinda. She seemed to have no interest in him in the EF. She literally tried to kill him. 

Amazing episode!

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Skwisgaar's Psychology

After rewatching Metalocalypse a total of three times ever since the news of the potential finale movie I kind of had a realization; I really fucking love Skwisgaar. I also started by halfway through rewatch two realized that his story and background and general psychology is really fucking fascinating to me.

So I am going to do my best to discuss his character and his psychology and how we see him progress through the show....I already did this with Toki a while back and kind of would love to do it with Murderface and maybe Pickles as well, I'd say Nathan, but he's the....least fucked up in a sense.

Skwisgaar let's start has the most dialogue in the first couple of seasons of the show and even then it isn't overwhelming compared to the other members of the band. By season four he speaks very little and rarely.

When we are introduced to him in the beginning of the show he seems to be like the rest of the group; a diva spoiled rich rocker who has been grossly wealthy for so long that he's forgotten how to function as a human.

You also with the first season especially have this running gag that isn't even a running gag that Skwisgaar or Toki will say something weird and then the other will add onto it and they just say weird shit about life and death or the violence of man, it's weird, and strangely endearing.

Which speaking of how those two play off each other brings me to the fact the pilot episode immediately establishes that these two are almost always together. The band goes to a grocery store and everybody splits up, except for Skwisgaar and Toki who go off together when in all reality that isn't remotely necessary. We also learn in that first episode that Skwisgaar gets pissed when Toki teases him and calls him a woman despite Skwisgaar calling him one like a second earlier and also that Skwisgaar is sexually attracted to elderly women.

Two things are heavily associated with Skwisgaar as a character; he is extremely sexually active and he's got his guitar with him in 99% of scenes. Skwisgaar also doesn't appear to be the most talkative, he can be bitchy and throw tantrums like the rest of his bandmates, but also seems to be more prone to crying and becoming anxious or worried for his friends and their wellbeing/safety, in terms of socializing he seems to be a bit awkward and seems the most comfortable communicating through sex and music. He's teasing and can be a dick, but there's no real edge to it. He also while seeming in some regards to be a bit....dumb to be blunt about it seems to actually be rather smart, though often seems to just keep that to himself probably because he knows who his friends are and they aren't prone to listening to people.

Season one wasted no time in introducing the band's parents and this included Skwisgaar's mother, Serveta. One thing that I do find super interesting is that he is the only member of the band who comes from a single mother, technically it isn't interesting, but the theory (probably canon) that their fathers aren't really their fathers at all and that their mothers became pregnant by the Deth Star makes it interesting. To me at least.

With Skwisgaar's mom in regards to the first season of the show we quickly learn that their relationship is strained. She's an older woman who just like Skwisgaar is very sexually active, we see her come onto Nathan's father who is married and sitting with his wife and son, Skwisgaar's reaction to this is to get upset and begin frantically playing his guitar. Skwisgaar spends a good portion of this episode drinking and at one point saying that ever since his mom got there his stomach had been hurting and he'd just been feeling like absolute shit. When we see him bonding with his mom he's brushing her hair and looking like he'd rather be dead or any place else, seeing him helping her groom is weirdly a red flag to me.

We learn by the third season of the show that his mother is intensely vain and in love with herself, she resents Skwisgaar because being pregnant with him and giving birth to him ruined her 'perfect' body and I'm sure the years where he was too young to fend for himself annoyed her because it meant she couldn't party or have men over or run off whenever she wanted, something I get the feeling that changed when he was about ten years of age. In a bonus video that comes with the first season of the show you see interviews with the band on various random topics; one of the scenes that is...uncomfortable to say the least is when family is brought up. Skwisgaar begins to say something, but trails off and becomes visibly upset before saying he's just going to shut down for a while, Toki confesses some more physical abuse before also shutting down.

I'm going to take a guess that Skwisgaar only had his mother when he was growing up and she only had him, I'm sure she has parents and maybe even siblings and aunts and uncles, but it appears that she has absolutely no relationship with them and Skwisgaar most probably never met these people.

The walls of Serveta's home sport dozens of headshots of herself and a couple of pictures of Skwisgaar as a kid thrown up by the front door almost as an after thought. It's likely and most probable that Skwisgaar was thrusted into the position of caretaker and even a husband sort of position when it came to his relationship with his mom; given the task of looking after her, holding her hair back when she pukes after a night of drinking, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. We know when he was about ten or thirteen years old he came home from school to find his mom having sex with two men, an event that scared him and led to him being chased by wolves and falling into a pit where if he weren't a demi-god he legit would have died. I feel like his mom reached a point with him where she stopped caring whether or not he saw her....personal life, perceiving him as an adult despite still just being a boy and also seeing him as somebody who is taking up space in her home and preventing her from having fun.

When she marries Tyr they're all over each other constantly....until Skwisgaar and Tyr become friends and begin spending time together, then she cheats on him. She was jealous that her latest man wasn't giving her constant attention and got angry at the concept of sharing him with her own child, which is super fucked up.

Skwisgaar throughout the show has a fake persona. He likes to pretend he in some way is like his mom; he likes to pretend he has his head up his own ass and doesn't need anybody but himself, he loves himself more than he could ever love another person. Which isn't true. At all.

I think that growing up with a narcissistic parent who emotionally neglected and emotionally abused him put him in a position where he had to shut down like that. He had to learn at a very young age that crying and yelling and being angry gets nothing done except maybe piss his mom off more, after finding his guitar he threw himself into music and appeared to shut himself off socially, preferring music over human interactions.

Music is something that Skwisgaar can rely on no matter what happens; he will always have a guitar, he will always be able to create music even if it is just for himself and nobody else. People come and go, people physically hurt you, people emotionally hurt you, or make you feel worthless. When we see the flashback to the night Magnus was kicked out of Dethklok Skwisgaar is faded into the background, almost like a ghost with his slumped shoulders and his hair curtaining his face as if he wants to just disappear. When they're auditioning for a replacement Skwisgaar is positive he doesn't want somebody else in the band, that they are fine just being four.

I think it comes from the fact he was terrified of repeating what just happened with Magnus, finding somebody he might think he can bond with over music only for that person to turn into a monster who makes him feel like he can't even do the thing he loves more than anything correctly....Then Toki came in and when they had their duel it quickly turned from a competition into a conversation. Because that's the one way Skwisgaar knows how to communicate, the way he is the most comfortable with; he likes to communicate through guitar and finding somebody who he could speak to through music excited him.

It's clear for obvious age related reasons that Skwisgaar has/had a care taker role where Toki is concerned. I mean he was about 15/16 when Skwisgaar took him into the band so he was a literal child, even when he's older Skwisgaar still looks out for him and is in his own sense immensely protective where he's concerned. Skwisgaar is also that way with the rest of the band even if it's more subtle. He worries about his bandmates, if they get injured or nearly killed it bothers him and he doesn't want anything to happen to them. When the band is going to break up he completely shuts down, because admit to it or not they had become the only family he ever had. I think Skwisgaar is so hard wired from his childhood to care for people that it's something he can't shake and maybe with the band he doesn't feel its a bad habit, because unlike with his mom, his bandmates arent forcing him to look after them. It's something he does because he wants to do it.

Of course in regards to his attraction to older women that definitely comes from issues relating to his mother....I don't think it's in a creepy Freud way, but more so just wanting to feel cared for back. Very obviously he can't exactly approach any of his bandmates and ask for a hug....well except maybe Toki and Pickles if he's super drunk or high, but outside of those two instances....they aren't people he could exactly just ask for validation or comfort or consolation. They aren't....good with that shit. Older women though usually have a tendency to be coddling and kind, Skwisgaar probably learned that as a teen or in his twenties, I think it's less about the sex factor and just feeling important. In terms of sex with people closer to him in age (I will die on the hill that he's bisexual, because he keeps just throwing it out there that he would blow a guy and he had multiple three ways with Melmord) I think it's a distraction for the most part, he uses sex the same way he often uses music, and honestly....He grew up seeing his mother have men over constantly.

Skwisgaar didn't grow up seeing love or healthy relationships, he saw his mom parade various men through the house and maybe she kept some of them for a while and I doubt the relationships were healthy and I'm sure he knew that his mother didn't love any man she dated or married for a short while. Even in the show he isn't fond of love or marriage, the only time he dates somebody is when he moves back to Sweden and finally starts to get his life together in a more healthy sense and that relationship didn't feel like it was based on sex. It was based on physical and emotional affection and it was the only time Skwisgaar ever looked actually happy in terms of intimacy.

Sex is a job, a chore for him; he's the God of Life so it's technically what....it's y'know his thing, creating life. As a lot of people notice....he seems far more sexually active after him and Toki's second fight in regards to music and petty bull shit. Season four is essentially the season where Salacia gets what he wanted aka the band tearing itself apart and you can see them all fall apart individually. For Skwisgaar falling apart means closing himself off, throwing himself more into his guitar and more into sex. He becomes more of a tool and an object as if that's all he wants to be, because being a person who opens yourself up and lets people in and tries to care about people ends up with you being hurt, badly.

Which does bring things back to his super complicated slightly homoerotic to the point even the show had to mention it for a hot second relationship with Toki.

We can gather from Doomstar that Toki was far more into music when he first joined Dethklok which I think worked out great for Skwisgaar, because as I said before; Skwisgaar communicates through music and this gave him somebody that he could talk to without the awkwardness of verbally conversing.

Though that changed clearly and you can feel that Skwisgaar is bothered by it, like in some weird way it feels like a minor betrayal. Toki notoriously never practices or puts in a lot of effort in terms of making music which Skwisgaar often comments on, complains about, or gets on him about. Reasonable. Guitar is part of who he is, but at the end of the day a talent that made him rich, that's what it is to Toki.....Skwisgaar on the other hand his guitar is literally an extension of himself and seeing him without a guitar in his hand for longer than a single scene gets weird.

Still despite the two of them losing the art of communicating through their music....they're close. Super fucking close. If you watch Metalocalypse and tell yourself going into the show that you're going to focus heavily on a single character or on a certain relationship you notice a ton of shit. Like you notice that Toki and Skwisgaar almost always sit together, stand together, talk over one another, finish each others weird sentences or ideas, copy each other to the point they spend an entire episode bickering like children over copying each other, and often spend their time hanging out together. Again. They're really close as if they're a single person split into two.

They're close to the point that inverse their fans just to some extent assume the two of them are fucking and madly in love and I mean I'm gonna be honest just objectively speaking here I would not be surprised to find out they have had sex before at least once or more times. Just saying.

That aside though and just sticking to the platonic here....They're close, Toki means as much to Skwisgaar as guitar does, and that's saying a lot. One big reason I want to bring up their relationship is that his relationship with Toki brings to light Skwisgaar's issues with death or more specifically death where Toki is concerned.

In season one when Toki has a bit of a breakdown and Pickles suggest they kill him, Skwisgaar looks tense and uncomfortable and says that he doesn't like the idea because it's a lot and it makes him feel not so good. In a deleted scene where the band watch Nascar together Pickles ask Toki and Skwisgaar if they were supposed to be dead or in jail or something because it's the same episode where they got shit faced and got into a high speed chase. Skwisgaar when responding about it changes the word dead/death out for sleep, stating they were supposed to be put to sleep but just had to do community service instead (Toki corrects that it was jail, not being put to sleep). In the deleted IKEA scene when Toki stressed says maybe the two of them should just kill themselves Skwisgaar immediately freaks out and later when they return to Nathan and Murderface they both look super emotionally fucked up and when Nathan ask if they had been crying Toki gets defensive and says no while Skwisgaar beginning to cry again says they had been crying. Then of course after Toki ruins Skwisgaar's reputation and becomes Magnus Jr. for a few weeks and ends up having a panic attack and making an ass of himself....Skwisgaar thinks he's having a heart attack and freaks the fuck out terrified that he's dying.

Then finally for a compilation of Skwisgaar not handling Toki dying well; in Doomstar before they go in to save Toki Skwisgaar makes the sorrowful comment that sometimes he wonders if they should have stayed a one guitar band. It isn't him being a dick, he isn't saying this isn't worth it. He's saying essentially that Toki was stabbed, kidnapped and possibly murdered and it's completely his fault; if he hadn't taken Toki in then none of this would have happened. Which immediately leads me to believe that post the funeral episode that Skwisgaar spent those months high and drunk and late at night blaming himself for Toki being taken/murdered. That's a lot of blame to put onto yourself and to say its your fault solely because a few years ago you took this kid in off the streets is honestly heart breaking.

Early on in the series there's an episode where Toki's pissed that he isn't seen as Skwisgaar's musical equal, he wants solos, and Skwisgaar turns him down. Which through the series and within that episode itself we easily learn why Skwisgaar never gives him a solo; Toki has performance anxiety and he never practices and quite honestly knows almost nothing about guitar. It's valid. Either way in this particular episode Toki gets pissed and decides he wants to take lessons, Skwisgaar offers and Toki turns him down because last time they tried...he kind of just ended up beating the shit out of Skwisgaar. (to be fair don't dump a bucket of blood on your friend's head) So he goes off and finds an elderly man to teach him how to play guitar, Murderface being a dick decides to tell Skwisgaar that Toki is super good at guitar now and.....Skwisgaar doesn't react well. He gets pissed off and has nightmares about Toki becoming better than him. He even confronts Toki and his guitar teacher and threatens to kick him out of the band. When he realizes at the end of the episode that Toki is still....really not great with music....he's chill again, everything is forgiven.

I kind of think that episode is a reason people perceived Skwisgaar as a dick or is one reason, but honestly he isn't being a dick. I mean sure, a bit, but they're all dicks. The thing is guitar is a crutch for Skwisgaar, it is super important to him and he doesn't know who he is without his guitar, without his music. So somebody else threatening to take that from him freaks him out and he reacts poorly to it.

Then we get to near the end of the show when the same issue arises except completely different. Toki again later in the series ask Skwisgaar for a solo and Skwisgaar annoyed refuses him, Toki being the mild psycho shit that he is decides to just kind of ruin his life as revenge. Again by this point in the show its kind of obvious if you actually pay attention at all that Skwisgaar keeps telling him he can't have solos because Toki never fucking practices and even in the studio Skwisgaar has to record most of the rhythm guitar parts. He's also known since Toki's audition that the kid is prone to choking up and making mistakes, so he's technically protecting him without just outright confronting him.

Toki writes a book calling out Skwisgaar as an abusive tyrant and an over dramatic bitch. Admittedly Skwisgaar is a slight diva and just like the rest of them can be a total asshole, admittedly to a lesser degree than the others. What's really fucking interesting for me personally about this episode is that Skwisgaar is catatonic and depressed for 99% of it. He doesn't speak. This starts literally the second that Toki releases his book saying that Skwisgaar abuses him, this is before Skwisgaar's career goes down the toilet, his career hadn't been impacted by this yet.

Skwisgaar falls to pieces because Toki, Toki who he's known since he was just sixteen and took in off the streets and they're always practically attached at the hip and have been since day one just released a book calling him an abusive monster.

I do have a feeling one reason this fucked him up is because he might be terrified that he's turning into Magnus without realizing it, that perhaps he has become an abusive monster and has been making Toki feel the way that Magnus made him feel towards the end of his time in Dethklok. I think there also is probably something soul crushing about the person you love platonically or otherwise referring to you very publicly as abusive. Of course all of this worsens when Skwisgaar's career begins to fall to shit, eventually towards the end when Toki is at the top of his ego trip being a prick Skwisgaar does confront him, that in itself is interesting.

Skwisgaar goes in way calmer than I would be in that situation, sure he gets pissed off as they bicker, but again he's waaayyyy fucking calmer than anybody else would be especially since Toki just yells at him through the entire conversation. Of course interestingly is that Toki perceives Skwisgaar in a way that isn't entirely true, he thinks Skwisgaar mocks him and thinks of him as nothing which isn't true at all, when he says Skwisgaar laughed at him he just responds that he never did that and he sounds slightly hurt by that. They're both hurt and none of these men are good with healthy emotions. Skwisgaar never loses his shit on him in the entire conversation, he looks like he could easily go ape shit but instead warns him that the audience will eat him alive the second he fucks up.

Which turns out to be true, Toki fucks up and people begin turning against him which leads to him having a severe panic attack. Like I mentioned before Skwisgaar thinks he's dying and tries to save him, scared out of his fucking mind at the concept of Toki dying. Which....the dude just spent several weeks treating you like garbage and calling you a monster who abuses him, if Skwisgaar was actually a shitty person then he would have laughed at him or mocked him or given him shit about this moment for years to come....but he doesn't do any of that. He is worried about saving him, probably terrified that if Toki dies then their last conversation was a fight.

Their dynamic changes a lot after this, not in a way that's overly obvious unless you watch it closely. They spend a lot less time together and what feels almost out of character initially in Dethcamp is....Skwisgaar easily going along with Murderface and bitching about Toki, because....again can't stress the Scandinavian dudes are always attached at the hip and now suddenly he's easily saying mean shit about Toki. It feels weird until you remember that not long before this they had a massive fight, Toki called him abusive and momentarily ruined his career and most likely afterwards tried to act like nothing happened at all while Skwisgaar probably wasn't capable of doing that.

Occasionally in season four Skwisgaar and Toki will sit together or stand together, still talk or have that physical closeness but it's far between and you see Toki spend a majority of his time with the toxic trio: Murderface, Rockso, and Magnus. Skwisgaar spends his time typically with Murderface and Pickles then near the end spends most of his time with Nathan.

Skwisgaar is a person who grew up in a home lacking affection and love or safety, he didn't grow up with examples of love or healthy relationships and as far as he's concerned relationships are a waste of time and energy because they all end the same.

Of course for as much as he says that, as they all say that....it's bull shit. He cares deeply about his bands and him trying to act near the end like Dethklok was just another gig it isn't, these people are his close friends and his only real family. Seeing Pickles and Nathan fall apart wrecked him and having Toki turn on him so easily gutted him. Skwisgaar is a super emotionally fragile person, he seems absolutely terrified of showing anger or aggression as if it's something he's never been comfortable with or learned when he was young gets you nowhere or perhaps there were men around who were violent and loud and it made him scared to ever be that way. He's the only one of the band we never see really lose his shit or be randomly aggressive and violent, he also strangely enough cries the most out of them canonically. People always make the assumption Toki cries a lot, but like canonically he cries waaayyyy fucking less than Skwisgaar.

I really find Skwisgaar interesting....clearly and this analysis might be a jumbled mess, but there's strangely a lot of things to unpack and things I probably didn't even touch on as much as I could have, because this is already insanely long. I have a deep appreciation of him rewatching this show now that I'm older and far more into analyzing works of fiction.

I hope that this was remotely coherent.

[spencerhotchner]

Alternative {spencer reid}

Chapter 1 

summary: Since quarentine was announced, Y/N decided to rewatch all seasons of Criminal Minds. On a lonely night she wished she could be in that universe instead of this. What happens when she wakes up in 2008 in Quantico?

warnings: angst, a very confused reader, regular cm stuff and my grammar (if you find anything else pls lmk

word count: 2k

a/n: i have this idea while watching a movie about parallel universes and all, so i just wanted to try this out. it will be a 10 parts series! im not really sure about this, i think i kinda hate it but im posting it anyways lmao. i hope you gonna enjoy!

series masterlist

part 1 | part 2

You woke up feeling dizzy and with a major headache. At first you thought it was because you drank a whole lot of wine last night but then you saw yourself in a room you never saw before. You stoop up quickly trying to understand where you were and how did you end up there. You were sure that you have never been in this place before, and it was scaring you that you showed up in there.

There was a mirror nailed to the wall in from of you almost forcing you to look at your own body, that made you notice that you were still wearing the same clothes from last night, but you weren’t home. Not being home was odd given by the fact you stayed there with your family and two friends you invited over, since there’s a whole freaking pandemic going on and you for sure did not want to get sick or get other people sick. 

“Did I get kidnapped?” you think out loud. “No, I just watch too much Criminal Minds.” you tell yourself, trying to calm down.

You reach for the face mask placed on the nightstand, getting ready to leave this random place and go home. You tried not to freak out when you realized your phone was gone and the only cellphone in there was probably as old as your grandmother. You dialed your moms number about five times and all of them went on voicemail, making you curse mentally. 

This can’t be happening. Not to me.

As soon as you leave the apartment you were in you realized you weren’t in your hometown, definitely not. It was crowded, like, really crowded and no one was wearing any face masks. Where did the freaking pandemic go? You wondered while you felt like a misfit for being the only one wearing it. 

“Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” you ask an old lady walking by.

“You’re on Main Street, sweetheart.” she says.

“No, um, I mean the city.” you watched as the old lady looked at you with a funny face, as if she was calling you crazy on her mind.

“We’re in Quantico, dear.”

“Quantico?” you repeat, mostly for yourself then for her. The lady started at you like you were an alien. “Thank you so much, ma’am.”

The air started to go low on you, how did you get to Virginia, anyway? That was across the country from where you lived, Bellevue in Washington state. You started lost walking, trying to understand what the hell was going on. It felt like you were on a parallel universe, like you were in a dream but couldn't wake up and it sure felt very real. You stoped a jornal shop taking a lot at the last newspaper in there, trying to figure if something happened that you were missing. However, nothing reported there shocked you, what did, though, was the date. 

July 1st, 2008

You were about to ask someone about it when you bumped into a blonde woman, falling on the ground. As soon as you looked up, you almost chocked yourself. If the day was already weird, this was even weirder. A.J Cook was standing right in front of you with a concerned look. You couldn't really say anything, just staring at her like she wasn't real. It was weird seeing her in front of you after only seeing her through screens. 

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she offered a hand for you to get up. “Are you ok?”

“I- um, yes! I’m fine.” you san, getting the dirt out of your outfit. “I’m a big fan of yours! Wish I had my phone here to take a picture but- sorry.“ you stoped talking, realizing she probably doesn’t care.

“Big fan of me? Wow, howcome somebody’s a fan of me?” she sounds surprised.

“Well, you’re on Criminal Minds.” you say as it was obvious. 

She looked at you as if you were out of your mind. Not that you weren't thinking otherwise at the moment, anyways. 

“I’m on what now?” she asked.

Maybe you got confused and she was the wrong person, but she looked so much like her to not be her. If they were not the same person, then definitely twins. This was so weird, once again, you found yourself asking ‘what the hell’ mentally.

“You’re JJ, Jennifer Jareau, FBI Agent and all.” you say, trying one more time. “Behaviour Analysis Unit...”

“Yea, that‘s me.” she let a nervous laugh comes out of her mouth. “How do you know me?”

‘This is weird’ you thought. How does she not understand where you know her from? Literally Criminal Minds, like you said at first. ‘Maybe this is all a dream.’

“I saw you on tv” you try.

“Oh, I see! You like law enforcement?” she asks you.

“Oh yes, I’m in law-school to be a judge someday.” you answered. “The show, all of it just makes me wanna put all them bad guys in jail.” you say, laughing a bit. 

“The show...? What?” you hear her whisper, but decide to ignore it. “What’s the mask about?” JJ asks, making you look at her surprised.

“Um, covid-19?” you say like it’s obvious, because it is.

“Oh, sure...” she smiles as she says it, almost like she's only agreeing because she won't discuss it. “Great talking to you, really, but I gotta go, FBI duty calls.” she jokes.

You smile at her watching carefully as she picks up her phone from her pocket and pick up a call. That phone looked awfully old, like 2000’s old. Why would a famous actress have that kinda of phone? Then, you looked around trying to understand more about what was going on. It was all too out of place.

First, nobody wearing masks, not even a single person but you. Second, you were in a city in which is miles away from your own. Third, a famous actress acted like she’s nobody. And fourth, the date on the calendar said 2008.

If it wasn’t just impossible I would say I time travelled into Criminal Minds universe.

After standing there for literal 10 minutes trying to figure it out what you were going to do, you decide to go to the police department. After all, you may have been abducted, right? Because you didn’t have any knowledge of the place, you took quite some time to get there. As soon as you got there you sigh in relief, that has been quite a walk and damn, you were tired of this situation. 

“Excuse me, ma’am, can you help me?” you ask to the lady standing behind the counter.

“Sure, dear. What do you need?” she looks up at you, taking her glasses of her face.

“I think I might have been abducted?” you start. “I woke up in this random apartment.”

“Maybe you had a one-night stand.” she said putting back her glasses.

“No! I am sure I didn’t because first of all, there’s a pandemic going on, second of all I was in Bellevue in Washington state when I went to sleep.” you yell, involuntarily, desperate to make her believe in you. 

“Miss, I’m gonna need you to calm down or you will be escorted out of the building. You’re probably on drugs, there's nothing we can do for you.”

“Fuck you.” you say as you watch her face get all red.

Frustrated. That could define what you were feeling, scared and worried could do the work, as well. What were you going to do now? Go to the FBI to see if they could freaking understand why you simply appeared in Quantico? Didn't sound like a bad idea in your mind as you decided to just try it out. After all, you were already pretty screwed up, it would worth a shot.

You reached for your back pocket, hoping that the money you shoved in there more than a week ago would still be in there. Bingo! You pull out a 20 dollar bill out of it and the next thing you know you’re getting into a cab asking him to take you to the FBI. Now that’s something you never thought would happen. The travel was quite quick, in 20 minutos you were standing in front of that big isolated building. It looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite show, that was insane. 

The wind blew hard on you when you got out of the vehicle, making you shiver a little, that reminded you that you did not have any clothes nor money to buy more. God, you did not even have where to go. You didn't even get the chance to get into the building as a big man steps in front of you, blocking your way. 

“Miss, you're not allowed in this building.” he said without much expression. 

“But, sir-” you started, as you saw he was about to interrupt you, you go on. “Ive been abducted and I don't know where or how the hell did I get in here, I’m completely hopeless... Please.” you beg him.

He started at you for a couple of seconds, that felt like centuries for you, just to sigh at you.

“Ok, follow me.” he said. “Do not make me regret this.” 

“I-I won’t, sir.” you were quick to answer. 

The agent asked another man to cover up for him as he led me into the building. Once again you found yourself admired of how much it did look like a Criminal Minds episode in there, if you weren't totally desperate you'd be amused. Soon, you two were out of the elevator on floor 8, leading with the words Behavior Analysis Unit quite big. 

“Can you take her to Agent Jareau, please?” the man said to someone who passed by, who simply agreed. 

Now, that's a funny coincidence, there's actually an Agent Jareau in the BAU. 

You followed the woman with questioning trying to stay calm when you saw Matthew Gray Gubler sitting on a desk reading some book in Reid style, almost like he was Spencer himself. If you had any doubts you were going crazy, that was the final proof. You stoped walking, taking a stare at him and then at the Agent that stared a you like you were an alien.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks you. “Miss, are you ok?”

You were unable to answer for a few seconds when you finally opened you mouth, still trying to figure it out how to say what was on your mind without sounding completely insane.

“Is that Dr. Spencer Reid?” 

And that was all you’re able to say because as soon as you let his name out of your mouth he looked up at you, trying to somehow recognize you. You were sure, that time, that you never looked - and sounded - as insane as right now. 

“Yes, that's me.” he answers. 

His voice was the last thing you could hear before everything go black. Maybe you were finally going to wake up. Maybe. 

[whitleyschn33]

Not Everything Can Be Wiped Away With A Hug

Or why I’m not happy with Weiss and Whitley’s reconciliation. 

Whitley and Weiss haven’t had a great relationship. From the first time we see him, the two are shown to not be comfortable with each other. Weiss’ tone when they meet is one of dismissiveness and wariness, even if the conversation ends on a technically hopeful note. As the show goes on, every interaction the two have is riddled with tension. Weiss accuses him of wanting her loss of status, Whitley gets angry and bites back. Whitley stops by her room to ask if she wants anything and twist the knife, Weiss asks if he’s jealous and slams the door in his face. When Weiss comes back at the party, she does everything she can to brush him off, clearly annoyed, while Whitley talks about what he’s been up to since she’s been gone. Weiss laughs when Whitley gets splashed with wine, Whitley storms off in a huff. Then Weiss comes back during the... siege(? I don’t know what to call this failed attempted at a Fall), commanders the house, shoves a weapon in Whitley’s face, sends him to his room like he’s a child, and then doesn’t acknowledge him again until he calls Klein. At which point she hugs him and all tensions disappears from their relationship. 

See what’s missing here? We have point A of massive hostility between the two with both parties having grievances with the other and point B of both parties having found a balance in their relationship. What’s missing is a strong connection between those two points. What’s missing is the meat of the actual arc, something between set up and pay off, and that’s ultimately the problem with their reconciliation. It wasn’t worked for, at least on Weiss’s end. There was no effort for any of their grievances to be addressed, talked about, and worked through. There was no point where they took the grievances that had been brought up and had the characters discuss or react to them in any meaningful way. It just fell into their laps - or rather, it fell mostly into Weiss’s lap. That’s the short version, anyway. Let’s discuss the long version.

In Volume 7, Weiss and Whitley’s relationship is tense, Weiss clearly annoyed and dismissive of her brother for being a snot towards her, and Whitley angry that Weiss ignores him and abandoned him to their neglectful/abusive parents. In episode 7, though, Willow flat out tells Weiss why Whitley acts the way he does to her. Willow gives us Whitley’s motivations - that he’s hurt and resentful towards Weiss. This is the set up for a reconciliation; Weiss has been given insight into Whitley’s point of view (had it literally shoved in her face), and has the chance to contemplate it so as to be able to find common ground later. 

Plot stuff happens, and the two are separated as Weiss deals with all that until Weiss needs a place to lay low. Armed with new information on Whitley’s disposition, Weiss... 

Whitley: Oh, you’ve picked a fine time to--

Weiss interrupts by pointing Myrtenaster at him, and he looks at the blade in fright.

Weiss: Not. Another. Word. We’re coming in.

Whitley steps aside and groans as Ruby’s group walks into the manor.

...threatens him after saying 7 words. Not even words of “you can’t come in” or anything to suggest he won’t let them in but, “oh great, this is a wonderful~ time to drop by”, venting frustration. Weiss doesn’t try anything else before shoving a weapon in his face (the face of an unarmed, defenseless, civilian minor that physically can’t stop her from coming in anyway) and forcing her way inside. 

Whitley: Things are already bad enough after what you did to father, now you want us to harbor fugitives too? Our family has a reputation.

He crosses his arms in annoyance. Blake, having set Nora down on the floor, looks at him.

Blake: That’s what you’re worried about? Your reputation?

Whitley: I’m just saying that we’ve already lost all the house staff, and Mother locked herself in her room.

Weiss: Maybe you haven’t figured out what’s going on, Whitley, but we’re busy trying to save Atlas.

Whitley continues to vent his frustration. Jacques, Whitley’s only source of familial attention, has been taken away by Weiss (”what you did to Father”), the staff has all vacated the estate (most likely a combination of their employer being carted away in the back of a military truck and then all hell breaking loose in Mantle and Atlas airspace), and Willow, the only other human being in the mansion, has locked herself in her room for several hours, up to almost 24 hours (I’m honestly lost on the timeline of this volume with how much it flip-flops between night and day, and I can’t be bothered to rewatch these episodes). 

Whitley has been left completely and utterly alone, and Weiss comes back not for him, but to use his resources to hide herself and her friends, all of which are wanted by the military. I don’t know what Atlesian policy is, but harboring fugitives is a crime punishable with prison sentences in the US, dependent on what the fugitive is charged with. She’s forcing him to risk being arrested and imprisoned for her crimes, after destroying his family’s reputation with Jacques’ arrest and causing everyone to vacate the manor and leaving him utterly alone (the way he follows up Blake’s response with “I’m just saying we’ve already lost all the house staff” makes me think he’s tying those two things together. With Jacques’s arrest, their reputation is falling, and everyone’s jumping ship, starting with the house staff. Any other family allies the Schnees might have legally and politically are likely to follow suit to save their own skin (ah, societal politics of the rich). Harboring fugitives and Whitley and possibly Willow arrested as well? The Schnees are sunk, dead in the water. They’re not getting out of that, they’ll be left to the dogs.). And how does Weiss respond?

Weiss: Maybe you haven’t figured out what’s going on, Whitley, but we’re busy trying to save Atlas. 

How in the absolute hell is he supposed to come to this conclusion? No, really, tell me. He knows two things: one, he knows there’s some kind of Grimm threat in the heatless Mantle and hovering around Atlas based on the news - maybe; we don’t know how much the news has reported about how bad it is outside of that one Mantle broadcast and how much Whitley has kept up with the news (he seems the type to absorb in as much information as possible, but he may not have been watching every waking second) - and two, he knows his sister and her friends have pissed off the military and are marked as fugitives. There is no way for him to know that the group of fugitives are doing anything to help Atlas, especially when he has no way to know what’s going on and what Weiss+co are up to. Weiss’ comment does nothing but imply that he’s too wrapped up in his own stuff to see the big picture, when he doesn’t have the knowledge that there’s even a big picture to look at. Rather than trying to reach out and reason with Whitley, Weiss snaps at him and treats him like he’s being self absorbed and shallow. His life is falling apart, he’s been left behind again by staff and his mother, and Weiss doesn’t just not respond to it, she gets mad at him for it. It’s Ruby that has to step up and tell him that they just need a place for their friend to heal and then they’ll leave (which turns out to be a bold-faced lie, but that’s another post). 

Whitley relents then, and asks what they want him to do. Weiss then tells him to “go to his room”. Let’s set this up - we don’t know how old Whitley is, but we can guess based on Weiss’s age. Weiss is 19, and Whitley is likely 2 to 3 years younger, as he seems a bit older than Oscar but most likely more than a year younger than Weiss. That makes Whitley at least 16 years old, possibly 17. Whitley is either just a year younger or the same age as Ruby, the girl Weiss is blindly following as a leader. Whitley is not a child. A minor, probably, but not a child (I consider “child” to be 12 and under, and minor to be 13 - 16/17 (depending on what the age of maturity is in Remnant, which I’ve always considered to be 17 based on Beacon admission ages) btw to clarify). Yet, Weiss tells the boy that she has no legal or emotional authority over that’s about the same age as her leader to go to his room, treating him like he’s a petulant child. She doesn’t want to have to deal with him, so she shunts him aside - makes it clear that she’s not going to break his isolation, she wants him out of her way. Alone.

The relationship between Weiss and Whitley was already tense and hostile, but this pushes that to the next level. Before, it was hurt feelings and snipping - valid hurt feelings on both sides - but this has escalated it. Physical threats of violence, forcing him into committing a possible felony, and then dismissing him like he’s a child shows a lack of respect for Whitley, and is the exact opposite of working towards reconciliation. I wouldn’t be surprised if Whitley’s anger and resentment towards his sister grew after this; that would be my reaction. 

“But wait!” You might be thinking. “That’s not really fair to Weiss - she’s worried about Nora who’s possibly dying and about being followed by Atlas’ military. She just wants to get under cover as fast as possible and then get to helping Nora! She’s stressed and tense, it makes sense that she’d be brusque to Whitley; we shouldn’t judge her so harshly.” To which I say - character is the choices you make under pressure, not when everything is just fine. Weiss resorting to the threat of violence immediately against someone she knows is no threat when faced with a tense situation where some diplomacy and respect would go a long way, it’s not a good look for who she is as a person. But alright, let’s play that game. Weiss is too worried about Nora to deal with Whitley at the moment. She gets Nora to bed, starts treating her as best she can, and then... 

Nothing. Weiss doesn’t speak to Whitley again until he calls Klein for Nora, presumably a day later (once again, I’m not entirely sure. They arrive at what I believe is sunset, Amity happening that night, then the sun rising or setting in Midnight (?) and in War it’s night again as Klein arrives, so I think that this has  to be the next night but it’s extremely difficult to tell and causes a crap ton of plot holes, thanks a lot CRWBY (I might skim through each episode to put together just how broken the timeline is)). That’s 24 hours where Weiss didn’t decide to ask Ruby or Blake (who I would have thought would be the one to have the most first aid knowledge of the three with her militia group experience) to watch over Nora for a few minutes while she seeks out Whitley to talk to him. 24 hours where she didn’t choose to apologize for threatening him, or go to talk to him about what’s going on, or follow up on Willow’s request, or ask if their mother is even alive still if she’s been locked up drinking for over a day, probably 2 (again, the timeline is fucked up). That’s not “I’m rushing and being harsher than I normally would out of concern for my friend”, that’s “I don’t regret or care about how I’ve treated my brother; I don’t see any reason to reach out to him” (And as side note - if Weiss had gone to see Whitley earlier, letting him know just how bad of shape Nora was in, Whitley might have called Klein earlier. By talking to her brother, Weiss could have gotten Nora the help she needed sooner, but she didn’t).

This is the next conversation Weiss and Whitley have after she threatens him and sends him to his room. I know I spent far too long breaking it down, but that was just one incident, the only one between  between Willow telling Weiss to not forget Whitley and their hug.

Weiss: You called Klein?

Whitley: That girl needs a doctor. (turns away from Weiss) I didn’t do it for you.

Weiss: I know. That’s why it means so much to me.

Whitely gasps as Weiss steps forward to hug him. After some hesitation, he sighs and embraces her back. Weiss gasps when she and the others hear an explosion from outside.

That’s it. That’s their reconciliation. After this point, Whitley shows no anger towards Weiss or brings up his issues with her, so we’re meant to think that this is it, the Weiss-Whitley reconciliation is over.

Now, on Weiss’s side, I could see this putting Whitley in her good graces (maybe). Weiss’ grievances with Whitley boil down to hurt feelings over him being a snot about her loss of inheritance and being annoying. Whitley was being a jerk about it when he came around in V4E9 to twist the knife, but we know why he did that (he was pushing his own situation in Weiss’s face, a “see how you like it, being stuck here alone like I was” type thing), Weiss does get an explanation for it later from Willow, and at the end of the day, that’s all he did. He didn’t betray her, act against her, try and get her in trouble with Jacques - he didn’t do anything to her. Gloating at the role reversal is petty, yes, but it’s not like Weiss doesn’t attempt to fire right back, and it’s not like she wasn’t plenty rude to him when accusing him of wanting it to happen. Weiss mentions “you never liked me” in V4E7, but we never get anything more specific than that, and implies that he was just bitter and snippy with her like he is in V4E9. Theoretically he could have been an absolute terror before, but since we’re never shown any of this or given any examples, it’s difficult to factor in anything Whitley may have done before V4 as a piece of Weiss’ attitude towards him. Point is, since I’m starting to ramble, is that ultimately Whitley hasn’t done anything but hurt Weiss’s feelings, and him calling a doctor for Nora purely because Nora needs one feels like it might be enough to put Whitley in Weiss’ good graces, even if it raises some uncomfortable implications - that Weiss only extends her love and affection when Whitley does something she likes and can revoke it if he does something she doesn’t (like make a light joke).

On Whitley’s end, though, this scene is an absolute mess of an ending. At the end of Volume 7, Whitley is angry and resentful towards Weiss (and Winter) for abandoning him to abusive and neglectful parents, and then arresting Jacques, taking away his only source of attention and dealing a huge blow to their family’s status. In Volume 8, Weiss comes back, threatens him physically, dismisses his concerns, treats him like a child by sending him to his room, and leaves him alone again until he does something she likes. At no point does Weiss do anything that would make his attitude towards her shift to the better; in fact, she does things that should only further alienate him. Why is Whitley no longer mad at her? Because she gave him a hug? That doesn’t change that she still (from his point of view) abandoned him without a second thought, blamed him for things he didn’t do, threatened him with a weapon, forced him to harbor them, and then talked down to him and pushed him aside when she didn’t want to deal with him - abandoning him again. Weiss has done nothing to make Whitley any less resentful. She hasn’t acknowledged how she’s hurt him, they haven’t discussed why he was so hurt by her leaving, there’s been no attempt for the rift between them to be mended. Weiss just hugs him, and somehow that makes everything better. I didn’t realize that Whitley was so completely starved for affection that a hug makes him forget everything leading up to it - a hug that he initially backed away from.

He has his hands raised defensively, he starts backing away, and his expression is completely shocked. His posture is completely stiff, his arms falling to his side and hands clenching into fists. He’s clearly not comfortable with this initially, before giving in with a sigh and hugging Weiss back - giving in and giving Weiss what she wants. 

Weiss is happy with him now, so Whitley can’t be upset. Weiss gives her approval, Whitley has been useful to her, so Whitley is “redeemed” in the eyes of the characters and the audience. What Whitley wants, what Whitley feels, what motivates Whitley? They don’t matter now that Weiss cares about him again. They aren’t discussed, they don’t continue to effect how Whitley acts and views Weiss, Weiss has forgiven him, so Whitley isn’t allowed to still be pissed with Weiss. Weiss didn’t have to do anything to reconcile with her brother, she doesn’t have to be humbled or acknowledge her own role in this dysfunctional relationship. She got to treat him with violence and like a child, and then hug him and act like everything is forgiven when by all reasonable logic, Whitley should be pushing her away, repeating that he didn’t do this for her and to back off.

Weiss didn’t work for this; Weiss didn’t earn this. Whitley’s own emotions and motivations were stripped away to let her get her brother on her side without her having to confront her own mistakes, because RWBY refuses to let its main girls make mistakes.

This isn’t the first time this has happened in RWBY, far from it. This isn’t even the only example of this happening with Whitley. Next episode and a few later, they do the exact same thing with Whitley and Willow! Whitley starts episode 8 rightfully pissed at his mother; she’s left him completely alone for two days straight to drink in her room, being less than useless, straight up neglectful. This anger carries on when she tries to call him, him turning to the door as the Hound approaches with anger. During the Hound attack, Willow grabs onto him, and he lets him. That makes sense, both of them were extremely frightened by this Grimm unlike anything they’d ever seen. What doesn’t make sense is that in episodes 11 and 12, Willow is still hanging onto him. I haven’t watched episode 11 for personal reasons (RWBY’s pissed me off), but I’ve seen the screenshots.

Willow’s holding onto him like she’s showing him off with pride. It’s a cute image - but why is Whitley allowing it? Why is Whitley not pulling away? Whitley was rightfully angry at his mother for neglecting him, for leaving him emotionally and mentally, right up until the Hound attack. Now, I know what you’re thinking; Willow saved his life. They killed the Hound together. Something like that, it can being people together. I agree - and I would even buy that being the spark for Whitley giving his mother another chance if there had been any kind of scene or even conversation on screen where we get to see this transition from rightfully anger at a drunk neglectful mother to a son giving a proud mother another chance at being his mother. It would have been incredibly easy to slip in, too! Like, and I’m just spitballing here -

Willow after the Hound is killed: Are you alright, Whitley?

Whitley: Oh, so you suddenly care. That’s nice to know.

Willow: I have always cared -

Whitley: Then you haven’t ever shown it! Whitley gets visibly angry. You’ve done nothing but leave me alone in this house with him while you drown yourself in your wine. You haven’t cared about me since I was 7 years old! Stop acting like you’re my mother! Whitley starts walking off. 

Willow: Whitley - ! Willow reaches out for Whitley and stops him I - she deflates - You’re right. I have been a horrible mother. I’ve left you alone, all this time, and if I had been even slightly more drunk tonight, you might have been killed.  ...I might have lost you for good, and it would have been my own fault. I’m sorry...

Whitley: He pauses, and falls silent. 

Willow: ...Please. I almost lost you tonight, and I don’t want to lose you to something I can fix. Is there anything I can do? Can I... Can I get a chance?

Whitley: .....he turns back to Willow, taking a deep breath, and looks up at her. ...One chance. You can’t - You can’t fix all of this, but... Whitley looks away ...I’ve wanted you back for 9 years. I don’t want to lose you either if I might get you back.

Willow: Willow looks surprised, before giving him a weak smile and pulling him into a hug. Thank you, Whitley. And I am so, so proud of you.

Whitley: Whitley stiffens with surprise, looking at his mother with shock, but returns the shaky smile and hugs her back.

One minute for this conversation, and I would be completely on board with Whitley and Willow seeming to reconcile as well. The same goes with Weiss, except a longer conversation.

If Weiss and Whitley had had even one talk where they both admit their faults and failings, apologize to each other, and agree to try again, I would be all on board with this Schnee family reconciliation. As it is now, though, with how it’s been written in the show, neither Weiss nor Willow have had to work to repair their relationships with Whitley; Whitley’s anger has just been wiped away. They set up the potential for reconciliation between Weiss and Whitley, between Willow and Whitley, acknowledging why Whitley is angry with both of them, but rather than have any of the characters take that knowledge and use it to reach out to Whitley, the writers skip all of that and let the characters treat Whitley however they want until they end up reconciled with one act. A single summon is treated like it makes up for years of neglect. A single hug because Whitley was useful to Weiss is treated like it makes up for abandonment, disrespect, and threats of violence. They don’t, and the lack of respect the writers’ have for the emotions of a male abuse victim sickens me.

[joontier]

Subliminal in Scrubs | V1;  report ix

pairings: dr. jeon jungkook x female reader

chapter rating: NC-17 | genre: doctors! au; humor, romance 

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.8k

g/n: ((unedited skfslkdf)) also,,, i will be releasing Parallel Palpitations very soon [which features this Jimin hehehehe stay tuned for that] PLUS, im very excited to release the report x AHHHHHH send me your thoughts pleaseee 

[taglist]:  @nottodayjjk @ditttiii @zeharilisharaban @btsbunny07​ @turquoiseandplaidinautumn @aamxxrii @codeinebelle​ @btsmakesmehappy​

Subliminal in Scrubs (the records) |  navi. | m.list

You open your new group chat first thing in the morning, wanting to check on Soomin and Jimin. Just yesterday, the two had informed you of their concerns separately, both worried over the same thing. Soomin’s mother wanted to hold a small congratulatory celebration for her daughter’s KMLE results, and her subsequent acceptance at Woocheon, so there was going to be a party exclusively for all tenants of the building at the restaurant just next to the cafe. 

The two hadn’t worked out their budding acquaintance, as you had practically forced them to greet each other the last time you were at the cafe, so you thought this might be a great way to have them start over their tricky relationship. 

As you’ve expected, both of them had even tried to convince you to come, in the hopes that a mutual friend could help diminish the awkward air around them. You’ve declined each of them politely, not wanting to intrude on their little get-together. Besides, (just like you hadn’t forgotten to mention to them), this was the perfect opportunity to get rid of this wall hindering their friendship (to which, both of them had also quite strongly disagreed upon). 

A mere three hours after their outpour of sentiments, as you’re rewatching episodes of Dr. Romantic with Chohee, the pair drunkenly call you, requesting a video chat. You’re pretty sure not one of them is aware of what’s happening, especially with Jimin refilling his shot glass every thirty seconds; Soomin speaking gibberish, and Chohee literally teasing them through the screen of your laptop and yet none of them seem to mind a damn thing about it. 

So, with hopes that each of them arrived home safely last night, you type in your text message. 

‘What is this place, really?’ you mutter to yourself, slightly regretting your decision to take the subway instead of a cab. You only ride taxis for places you’re not familiar with (such is the case with today) but you didn’t want to spend twice as much solely for transportation so you took the train to the building. 

Now you feel lost. You’ve just gone to the main entrance of the building, but there was scaffolding barring the entrance, and now you’re struggling to look for Entrance B with the singular tarpaulin saying “Please use Entrance B” and a faded arrow below pointing to the left. After a grueling ten minutes of asking people for directions and walking all over the place, you finally find Entrance B and hurry on your way inside. 

There’s already a small crowd forming where the directions for the processing of your license is posted, and you can’t seemingly read the directions all the way down with people clearly taller than you blocking the way. 

“What’s the matter? Can’t see the directions, smally?” 

Your instant recognition of his voice makes you hang your head low. You figure there’s no way you can get rid of this guy anytime soon. 

“Hello, Jungkook.” 

Why is it that he’s always there wherever you are? He couldn’t be stalking me, could he? 

Jungkook almost spits his water on the girl in front of him. Oh, so he heard your thoughts then. “Yeah, you wish, woman. I wouldn’t do that even if you had one million strapped to your neck.” You roll your eyes at him. 

“Wasn’t asking for any conditions for you to do that, but thanks for letting me know your thoughts.” 

“Awh, you mad, babe?” Shaking your head at him, you try to continue peering over everyone’s shoulder to check the post. “If it makes you feel any better, I would for two million though.” 

You were just about to retaliate with a smart comment, but you see a girl walking towards Jungkook while twirling her hair with her newly manicured fingers. “Jungkook-oppa, you’re here!” she says, hooking her arm on his elbow. 

Ah yes, it’s the same brat that kept defending Jungkook’s ass during the KMLE exam. “Why don’t you come with us? My mom works here,” her voice gets down to a whisper, but loud enough for you to hear. “If you come with us, you wouldn’t have to fall in line, then maybe we could have lunch together. 

Jungkook removes her hand from his, “No thank you, I’ll just wait here.” 

“With her?”

The audacity of this bitch. 

“Yes, with her.” Jungkook says, not skipping a beat. “She’s...better company.” Oof, that’s gotta hurt. 

You try not to show much of your currently soaring pride on your face, but you can’t help but clear your throat as a terrible disguise for a snort. The girl becomes silent after that, with most of her friends trying to control their facial expressions after Jungkook’s reply. 

“Fine then, your loss,” she says with a flip of her hair, then makes her exit. 

You're unsure what to do now as the girl has already left, and you’re also not sure if you’re entirely happy about being left with Jungkook now. “Why didn’t you go with her? Could’ve saved you a lot of time considering the people here.” 

Jungkook clenches his jaw, as if in thought. “I don’t like cheating. I believe that there’s a different value in the reward that comes with something you worked hard for.” 

You’re surprised. You really hadn’t expected this kind of quote, coming out of Jungkook out of all people, but you find yourself nodding as he speaks, quite impressed that you share the same principles. 

As the crowd starts to disperse, you and Jungkook finally get your turns to take a look at the poster. “Is it often?” 

“What is?” 

You point a thumb backwards towards where the girl had gone to, “Having girls throw themselves at you all the time?” 

“Oh that,” Jungkook chuckles, then gives you a lopsided smirk, “Yeah, that. Hadn’t realized being this hot was so tiring.” Squinting your eyes at him, it then again dawns on you that you shouldn’t even have asked him that sort of question at all. 

“You know,” he says, nudging your shoulder with his, “I’m quite jealous of you really,” your brows crease together. This can’t be good. “At least you don’t experience all of that, cause you know…” he says, gesticulating his hands over his face. 

He did not just insinuate that you were not...attractive at all. Huh. This bastard can wait for his license alone then. 

“Goodbye, Jungkook.” 

“Hang on! ________, wait! I was just messing with you,” Jungkook laughs, running after you.

The cashier is already scanning the last items on your grocery list by the time Jimin and Soomin had texted you that they were done with their licenses, and you three had agreed on meeting up by the mall’s concierge. It doesn’t take long before you all decide on having Italian for dinner, after seeing the restaurant nearest to where the concierge was. 

“Wait, it took you guys only half an hour?” you exclaim, recalling how you had to endure at least more than an hour with Jungkook as you waited for your licenses to finish. Thankfully though, the latter had other errands to run so you two parted ways as soon as you got your IDs. 

Jimin, always the gentleman, offers to get your group the utensils as well as a few condiments and spices you might need with your meals. “Soomin-ssi, do you know anybody else who’s going to Woocheon too?” he says, setting the silverware atop the napkins. 

Soomin thanks Jimin for the thoughtful gesture, sending a small smile his way. You squeal inwardly, wanting to know what happened last night for them to interact like this. “Um, also, I’m not so sure about the others who will be attending Woocheon too...I only got a glimpse of the list, sorry.” 

“Ah, no worries about that. So, how was the dinner party last night?” 

The two glance at each other, seemingly communicating with their eyes. Oookay, what’s going on between these two? What exactly happened last night? If they wanted to be alone, they could’ve just said so… 

“It was fun,” Jimin initiates, plastering  what seems to be a painfully wide grin on his face. Soomin nods along with him as she adds more, “Honestly, I don’t remember much about last night, but I do recall Jimin calling me ‘sajangnim’ the whole night. And I told him to not call me that, but Jimin here is a stubborn man.” 

“Yeah, you complained about that too last night,” you laugh, cutting your garlic bread into pieces. “Wait, what?” Jimin squints his eyes at you, “Were you there last night? How did you....” 

“I’m guessing you both don’t remember calling me last night too, didn’t you?” 

“We did?!” they say in unison, making your eyes go wide. “Did I do something stupid?” “Please tell me I didn’t say something I shouldn’t have?” 

“Hmm, well, it was quite the conversation last night,” you tease them, wanting to see how far this can go, “plus Chohee was there too so I have another key witness.” 

“What?” Jimin squeaks, lips pressing into a thin line, “what’s the key witness for?” 

“That, my friend, is up to you to remember and figure out.” You give each of them a wink, before turning your attention back to your pasta.  

Transferring all your groceries to one hand, you fish your keys from your purse, shaking it lightly to hear its jingle as you blindly course your fingers through your bag. As the elevator doors open, you see your neighbor down the end of the hall, trailing after a man. 

Ayoung hears the elevator bell ding and turns to your direction. She excitedly points her thumb to her back, mouthing ‘new tenant’ to you. She keys in her code and lets the guy in first. The moment he’s inside, she leans by the doorframe and whispers how hot the guy actually was and how much of a lucky neighbor you were going to be. 

You shake your head at her, leaving Ayoung to entertain her guest. Of course, not forgetting to pray that she manages to score you a hot man next door.

© joontier 2021

[hexfloog]

hex, my beloved, would you share your thoughts on the diplomat murder case with the class

Weeeelllll... if you insist, anon :3

Hex Goes Off(TM) again below the break, surpriiisssee

As it turns out, The Diplomat Murder Case is responsible for a lot of my current HCs about Shinichi/Conan. It's my favorite of the transformation arcs, it's the very first one-- and thus the hardest-hitting, at least when you get to experience it blind-- and also our introduction to transience as a theme, though admittedly I'm probably a bit biased here... Babby Hex has fond memories of sneaking out of bed to watch this one when it still had a slot on the early morning block, so I often come back to these two episodes wearing nostalgia glasses.

Branching off that, I should probably start by saying that for episodes 1-123, I am almost exclusively familiar with the Funimation dub only, which... as the fanbase knows... has its fair share of strange and silly localization choices. I personally find much of it charming and it has no effect on the story or its appeal for me... except when it does (more on that later).

So despite having lost track of how many times I've rewatched this case, my thoughts on it are actually quite scattered - it's the starting place for a lot of the DCMK ideas I currently subscribe to, but those ideas gained their traction in other places (cough, The Desperate Revival, cough), so I apologize beforehand if these aren't bookended well and also idk how to lead into them so IT'S LIST TIME

1) Vices and Expectations

At the time, the idea of Shinichi returning to normal-- let alone temporarily-- was likely one only being entertained by the audience as the setup for (if not the result of) the grand finale. I remember it surprising me, and it's a hell of a move to put forth such a scenario in the first place, only to take it back. Shinichi himself believes the transformation is permanent until it becomes... horribly apparent that it isn't. It's a nasty surprise for everyone, the nastiest of them all (being the very first in a long line of GOT 'EMs), and I think that as a result this is arguably the most powerless he's ever been in his own body, at least for a while. The depiction of the pain he endures is frightening (something I feel is lost in later transformations): freezing on the surface, but burning beneath the skin... like bones made of magma as they die within the flesh-- his heart beating out of his own chest, faster and faster, harder and harder as if to escape its own agony-- the world blurs, nausea takes hold, balance wavering-- 'This is no longer your fortress,' he hears it whisper in his ear... TBH how he can even think coherently at this stage is lost on me. It's shown to be a debilitating process of physical self-destruction and I don't believe for a second someone could acclimate to it, even after repeated transformations which is lowkey why it bothers me a bit that these feel less weighty as time goes on. Control is Shinichi's domain, and the uncertainty which plagues him as he painfully returns to Conan is a peek behind the curtain, a glimpse of the mortality he-- for all his bravado and cool, calm exterior-- is still very capable of realizing.

Although not nearly as dramatic as the next transformation, I personally find this to be a cruel little hint towards Shinichi's vices. Up til now we have not had many (any?) opportunities to explore what really-- and I mean really-- makes him tick. The recklessness he falls prey to when he thinks his old life is within reach again (see: literally every time he's tempted by The Antidote) is teased here-- not overtly, mind, but this first experience with temporary normalcy introduces the idea of hope to Shinichi's world, and the expectation that he can come back to it, actually, is suddenly set. Even if for a brief moment, we see the hands which have wound his potential to self-destruct...

2) Othering

I mentioned in a previous tirade post that the Funimation dub adds some interesting dialogue which is absent from the JP version:

"... From my own mouth, not his!"

...But is substantiated by dialogue which is present in the original:

"Am I turning back into that kid again?!"

"...With my real mouth... and my real voice..."

I find it so, so intriguing that this early on, it's already implied that Shinichi thinks of Conan as an entity separate from himself, despite that obviously not being the case and especially considering that-- here, at episode 49/50-- Conan hasn't really been present for long enough to establish himself as Conan (Ran sleuthing out his Real Identity is still a very real threat at this point, after all). Shinichi rarely mentions Conan by name throughout the case, in all other instances referring to him as something else-- "that kid with the glasses--" and... idk, to me that indicates shame, or fear, or resentment, and just reeks of plain animosity. I know for the sake of appearances he needed to Other Conan in front of Ran and Heiji, but when he's alone with his thoughts... it's not necessary to actively think of Conan like something to be hated unless he really feels that way, unless he really feels vexed by this child, this thing that is both him and not.

I dunno, I just find that fascinating. That one Funimation line is single-handedly responsible for this whole entire HC in my head ahahaaa

3) Heiji, and Hope

My angst-brain is constantly honing in on Shinichi, but The Diplomat Murder Case is pretty important for introducing Heiji, too!! Kaito won't see his DC debut for another twenty or so episodes, so imo it's Heiji, debuting as a rival detective, who first introduces the idea of a possible foil for Shinichi. This... obviously doesn't pan out this way-- quite the opposite-- and the entire premise of Heiji seeking out The Great Detective of the East as his "thousandth sword" only carries a lot more weight after the parallels to Benkei and Yoshitsune are made more plain in Crossroad in the Ancient Capital. So for all intents and purposes (especially since the Funimation dialogue was changed around quite a bit), Hattori's appearance here isn't particularly outstanding in itself aside from being his first, except...

...Except Heiji also introduces the baijiu here, the catalyst for this entire arc and my subsequent observations, the vehicle through which Shinichi becomes aware that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and the knowledge of which Conan repeatedly draws upon whenever the antidote comes up. Given that Heiji eventually discovers Shinichi's secret and, in their friendship, serves as one of his lifelines to his former self (as "companionship," in my head... more on that in another post, maybe), I find it... very striking that he would be the first one to deliver him hope. Good God.

Like Kaito, I want to think about Heiji more in-depth too, but there are better episodes for it... Murderer, Shinichi Kudo

eeeEEEEE okay i'm done tysm for letting me screm anon this case has a special place in my top ten aaAAAaaaahaha

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 11 second part

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Absurdity) 

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Message from the Lan Clan

After dinner the Yunmeng bros go to talk to Jiang Fengmian in his study. They're quiet and respectful here, with no shoulder-shoving or arguing. This scene has such Brady Bunch energy, where Dad's Study is the Man Place where boys come to talk about Serious Things.

The boys tell Dad Jiang about the Yin Iron and he says yeah, I know. This is probably why he let them run off on their road trip without punishing them, but he could have, like, shared data with them so they might have actually achieved something related to the Yin Iron, rather than just wandering around the countryside bonding with Lan Wangji and Nie Huaisang.

He shows them a letter from the Lans that basically says the Lan Clan is in the shit, and he tells them they've got to go to the Wen indoctrination because otherwise they will also be in the shit. 

He gives the boys a warning about the Yin Iron, which is that 

1. it can be refined and 

2. if you refine it carefully, it will not control you. 

Awesome tip, will definitely use, thanks pop.

(more behind the cut)

Jiang Cheng wants to argue about going to the Wen party, but Wei Wuxian vocally gets on board, not leaving any opportunity for whining. 

Wei Wuxian is only sucking up a little bit in this scene. He obviously has a lot of affection for Jiang Fengmian, but WWX doesn't play up to his favoritism nearly as much as he could. Compare, for example, how he leans into Yanli's preferential treatment of him.  

Fight Outside the Cold Cave

Over on the Gusu side of the country province township, the disciples have gathered outside the cold cave that previously none of them knew about, and Su She is freaking out. 

Most of the acting in The Untamed is naturalistic, but then there are occasional characters who are portrayed with a much more theatrical, broad style. Su She's villainy is not given a lot of layers; he's playing a type, more than a person.

Many of the villains in The Untamed are played this way, but not all. Wen Zhuliu, for example, is a genuinely horrifying bad guy while also conveying depth and ambivalence--despite having hardly any lines. And JGY is a masterpiece of a performance. For Su She, the directors or the actor have opted for "sniveling backstabber" as a type, which is unfortunate, because it robs his final scenes of emotional impact.

Lan Qiren tells the disciples to get to safety. He rushes forward, gamely getting his ass kicked by human cuisinart Wen Xu.  He's not as effective a warrior as either of his nephews but he's a brave S.O.B.

Hanguang Jun to the Rescue

Before things can go completely pear-shaped, Lan Wangji sails in with his guqin.

The Blue Steel technique of the Lan Clan

Like many gifted learners, Lan Wangji's musical abilities are more advanced than his social skills. Here he musically makes the ground literally explode, almost as if it had been specially rigged with incendiary charges.  

Lan Wangji is very pretty when he's worried, and his affection and concern for his uncle is touching. He's 100% not interested, as we will see, in Lan Qiren's whole "lets all die for the future of the Lan Clan while my nephews hide" agenda. He's on his own agenda of smiting the wicked and protecting the weak.

Notice how Su She is standing right next to Lan Qiren here, even holding his arm? The next thing that Lan Qiren says is to tell all the disciples to keep up as they run into the cave. Somehow Su She totally does not keep up, and he gets caught outside along with a bunch of other disciples.

Giving Up

Wen Xu and his men kill most of the other caught disciples, and then threaten Su She, asking him how to get into the cave. In fear for his life, he tells them. Not cool, Su She, but possibly forgivable. Although when you voluntarily join a, you know, battle cult, physical courage is kind of an important qualifier.

But this shit here...

They didn't fucking ask about the books, douchebag.  

Su She was there in Lan Qiren's house when the two heads of his clan knelt to each other, each claiming the right to be the one to stay behind and die. And he heard Lan Qiren say that the ancient books are the foundation of the clan and that only if LXC and the books survive, will the clan continue. By giving up both men, and pointing out the book situation, Su She has totally earned his expulsion. 

Lan Wangji Takes a Stand

Lan Wangji decides, for the first but not last time, to openly defy his uncle...and it's got nothing to do with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji is a hero, who follows the dictates of his conscience. His conscience is extremely filial and extremely orthodox, but he’s got a growing open-minded streak.  This is going to cause a whole lot of conflicts for him over the next few years.

This time, however, he manages to skate out from under the whole disobedient, unfilial thing by citing Lan Yi's directive, which means Lan Qiren has to accept it because she's his predecessor and elder relative (She is probably not a literal ancestor, since she spent her life in a cave putting fucking headbands on fucking rabbits which probably didn’t leave time for having babies).

This is a pretty extraordinary moment for Lan Wangji and for Lan Qiren, because Lan Wangji just asserted his own form of authority to do the exact opposite of what Lan Qiren wanted, and Lan Qiren just sucked it up and let him.

It's also very different from western stories involving a holy McGuffin such as the Yin Iron. Lan Wangji's solution of "fuck it, just let the bad guys have it, it's not worth so many people dying for" is refreshing and surprising to me, a westerner raised on The One Ring, the Grail, the Death Star Plans, etc.

Lan Wangji steps out of the cave and uses a sword blast to save Su She, the ungrateful bastard, from getting stabbed by Wen Xu. Then he surrenders, and they break his leg to slow him down. This does not actually incapacitate him, because he is Lan Fucking Wangji, already a BAMF at like 17 years old. When they whack his leg, his chunk of Yin Iron falls out onto the ground.

That thing was in a magic bag of holding before. So...it just falls out when you whack him? If they whack him again will his guqin fall on the ground? What about candy?

Archery Practice at Lotus Pier

Meanwhile, back at Lotus Pier, the brothers are enjoying some quality time together before they head to the hostage-taking indoctrination.

Wei Wuxian is such a great cultivator that he can hit a distant target even when he jerks his bow upwards as he releases the arrow.

Jiang Cheng seems fairly pleased, and proud of his brother. He's competitive and fundamentally grumpy but not, at least here, a sore loser.

Club Ruohan

We go over to Da Club, where Wen Ruohan is yelling at Wen Qing for letting Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian go. He names them both, so they're becoming more and more known to their enemies. Which is not a good thing.

He menaces her with the zombie mosh crew, having them kill a dude in front of her and then saying her baby brother will be next in the circle of zombies if she tries any more stunts. Neither of them can imagine how much zombie ass her baby brother is going to kick, later in his (un)life.

Side note: What is up with WRH’s hair? Why bother pulling your hair up over your ears if you're going to leave an enormous curtain of it over your face? It's because he knows there's a wind machine next to his throne, isn’t it?

Leaving Lotus Pier

Jiang Cheng: when I ran off earlier in the year on my road trip you didn't pack a goddamn thing.

Wen Indoctrination

Is it even possible to stand next to this much active volcanic shit and not, uh, die? I live in the tornado part of the US so I don't know much about lava (yet. 2020 still has 2 months to go). But it seems like it would be hard to breathe the air. Also they appear to build houses on lava piles, which seems imprudent.  I say that even as someone who plays The Elder Scrolls Online, which is full of lava towns and nonsense like “ash farming.”

Nie Huaisang is adorable at all times, but particularly here, when he's so happy to see his friend who *didn't* fuck his gege and then abandon him without an explanation. 

Nie Huaisang: I'm so glad I can count on Wei-Xiong to be consistent and not vanish for months, or become a traumatized shell of his former self, or, like, horribly die.

Jin Zixuan isn't quite as happy to see Wei Wuxian.

Wen Chao enjoys the sound of his own voice way too much, and is malevolent and boring. On the plus side, he likes to stand with his hand stuck out in the air, which is fun for your resident photoshopper.

Nie Huaisang is so miserable every time he's holding a sword, or blade, or whichever we're supposed to call this. He's got his fan tucked into his belt, which is sweet. He is happy to give up his sword but don't you dare try to take his fan.

Meanwhile Wei Wuxian is worried about Lan Wangji, and Jiang Cheng isn't.

Lan Wangji shows up under guard, and takes his position at the front of the line, but without any extra disciples. The Wens let him change into snowy white robes after breaking his leg which will go well with arterial blood spray. He's focused and is determined not to interact with Wei Wuxian in this public context.

When I was little, I would sit near my best friend at church on Sunday, but not be allowed to talk to her until church was over, and it was exactly like this. She was good at churching and I was hyper and hated church. We are still best friends and these things are still true.

This interaction is like a thumbnail for the whole dynamic of these three boys: Lan Wangji outwardly ignoring Wei Wuxian while having many interior feelings about him; Wei Wuxian demanding attention and creating a bit of a scene, due to his very genuine caring; Jiang Cheng telling him to leave that boy alone for fuck's sake.

Lan Wangji: Stop trying to talk to me Wei Ying, I’m busy composing a song in my head about the two of us and our love for each other. 

[weakforarwen]

Beauty and the Beast (Parts 1 and 2)

I thought of rewatching these episodes, but they don’t have much rewatch value. I watched the Arwen bits and that was it. The episode is amusing the first time around, but it’s very filler and went on for too long. Did it really need two parts? It’s also pretty disgusting, literally. 

It’s weird seeing Uther “in love” but I like the metaphor of the Lady Katrina. We’re easily seduced and tricked by beautiful and wealthy people; we assume a priori that they’re good, kind, and trustworthy. We do it all the time with celebrities who prove to be anything but virtuous (Ezra Miller, I’m looking at you, dude. WFT). Katrina said it herself that Uther was blinded by pretty things. That’s true, but he was also blinded by the fact that Katrina was a Princess. It’s like Arthur blindly trusting Agravaine because he was a Lord as well as family.

Anyway, there’s a lot of second hand embarrassment in this episode. Uther falling for Katrina’s tricks and being horny for her was more gross than funny. I felt Arthur’s disgust with my whole body. Kudos to the actress playing Katrina though. She did a banger job. 

Sadly, there’s nothing particularly interesting or outstanding about the episodes. The most memorable bits to me were Arwen and Arthur standing up to Uther. Those were the only “serious” moments in both episodes. Gwen didn’t get much screentime - there was a scene of her worrying over Merlin, and her scenes with Arthur - but I was happy to see her anyway.

My favorite part about Arthur’s character, and one of my favorite aspects of his and Gwen’s dynamic, is the push and pull between Uther and Gwen. In this episode, Arthur defies Uther’s orders to tax the people of Camelot because he knew they couldn’t afford it, because he knew they would die. When he sees his knights force a man to give more than he had, he orders them to let the man go and to return everyone their money. Gwen proudly watches as Arthur gains the support and gratitude of his people. It’s worth noticing that this is Arthur and Gwen’s first scene since Lancelot and Guinevere, two episodes before. I’m not sure if at this point Gwen is already over Lancelot, but the feelings inspired by Arthur’s kiss and their time together have been rekindled as Arthur continues to be the man she knew he was. 

I believe this episode marks a shift in their dynamic. Before, Arthur listened to Gwen and modified his behavior after she pointed out his mistakes (for turning down Hunith’s food, for not letting women fight, for treating Gwen’s home like his own). Now, that’s changed, Now Gwen doesn’t criticize Arthur, but rather support him when he comes to her for advice. Gwen knows the pressure Arthur’s under, how he wishes to please his father. She knows he needs to hear he’s doing well in defying his father and making his own choices. 

In this episode, for the first time, Arthur asks Gwen if he was right to disobey his father. Was he being too soft? Could he really be a King and a friend? His father didn’t think so, but Gwen tells Arthur that he would prove his father wrong when he became King. For the first time, Gwen tells a lucid Arthur that he has a good heart and should never change. 

Gwen had never before let Arthur know she felt that way about him. She told a dying and delirious Arthur that he gave her hope for the future of Camelot, but not lucid Arthur. But now she feels confident enough to tell him what she thinks, perhaps because she knows he’ll listen, but probably because she knows him better. She wasn’t aware of it before the events of The Once and Future Queen, but now that Gwen knows how badly Arthur wants to prove himself and how little faith he has in himself, she believes she must give Arthur the hope he gives her.

Gwen’s role in Arthur’s life is easily downplayed. She’s not “just” a love interest. She’s a driving force behind his character development. She’s one of the few people he seeks advice and approval from. He doesn’t just share his feelings or talk to her because he has no one else to talk to, as it often happens with Merlin, truth be told, but because he values her opinion above all others. Her approval means as much to him as his father’s. Arthur feels more confident disobeying his father when he knows Gwen approves. Of course, Arthur disobeyed Uther many times without Gwen ever knowing of it; he also broke up with Gwen without her approval. But, still, there’s no denying Gwen and Uther pull Arthur in opposite directions, with Gwen representing who he really is and wants to be, and Uther representing his fears, insecurities, and (high) societal pressure.