#I have like half of season one planned out but I do kinda need to plan it the whole everything

[rafsmusicalnotes]

Insecurities with Rafayel

Tags: Comfort, Fluff, Smut 

Premise: Rafayel wants to go swimming at the beach with you, but you’re insecure about the stretch marks and cellulite on your body, afraid it’ll turn him off completely. He comforts you and reassures you that he’s completely enamored by you. It’s kind of implied that it’s the earlier stages of dating Rafayel (you’ve walked along the beach with him, but haven’t gone swimming with him). 

MC is gender neutral, but does have a vagina.

MC's physical body isn't described, besides saying there's stretch marks and cellulite (implied mostly on the legs). I try to make my works as inclusive as possible. I hate to leave anyone out.

~4.5k words

MDNI 🔞

It’s the summer, the perfect season for going swimming at the beach. The weather is hot, the seagulls are out, it’s an easy sweat just standing two minutes outside, so of course he’d ask to go swimming at the beach with you. It’s right by his studio, and if not that beach, the private island that he owns. And of course, he'd tell you to prepare a week ahead, and of course, you haven’t gone swimming at the beach in years. And of course, to go swimming, you need a bathing suit. And of course, your old bathing suit doesn’t fit anymore. You’re not a teenager anymore; you're an adult. An adult with a grown body. A body with skin stretched around it. You thought you didn’t care, but now that there’s plans to go swimming at the beach with him… Suddenly, it hurts to see yourself sometimes, and staring too long at the creeping marks around your lower abdomen, thighs, hips, arms, chest, etc. just makes it worse. 

Those “marks” which you believe look more like lingering claw marks holding and curving around your body weigh heavily on your mind as you go shopping for a bathing suit. You see other adults and take notice of their smoother skin with less marks, and you try not to let it get to you. You know better than to compare yourself to other people, but it’s a horrible habit that’s been hard to break. Usually those comparisons are nothing more than a passing thought, but they’re lingering lately much longer than they should.

You try on various shapes and designs of swimwear. Whatever you can get your hands on, but something in the back of your mind keeps nit picking at yourself, so now you’re sitting in the changing room, kinda sweaty from changing so many times in a small space that isn’t well ventilated. You stand one more time, and you look behind you, and oh… Cellulite. As if you needed another reason to not go, and another reason to pick at yourself. 

You know it’s just the horrible lighting in the room, but you can't help but start grabbing at your legs and messing with the fat distribution. You’re not going to cry. No, you’re not. You’re an adult with an adult body. This is normal. You know it’s normal, but you wish you weren’t right now. You quickly put on your clothes, and hang all the swimwear on the return rack. As you walk out the store, you’re already planning various ideas on letting Rafayel down gently. 

After much thought, you decide to do it about 2 days before the date. You’re cutting it close, but a part of you wants him to be upset at you. As some sort of odd self punishment you think you deserve. Also, you do it over call, so you don’t have to see his face, hearing his disappointment is more than enough to guilt you.

“Ahh I’m so sorry Rafayel, but I accidentally picked up a shift for that day.” 

“Accidentally? And you’re sure you can’t take it back?” 

“Maybe I could? But it would feel kind of rude… look I’m really sorry.”

“I get it. We can go another day, right? The beach isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. Also, don’t overwork yourself, cutie.”

Rafayel’s soft chuckles reverberate into your head and down your spine in a similar warmth, but your frigid guilt washes it away. You hate that you’re telling a half truth; you did pick up a shift, but it was never an accident. 

Now, a few weeks pass before Rafayel tries again to set up another beach date. This time, he brings it up while you’re in his studio. Whilst he’s busy opening boxes of packages he ordered a week or so ago, you’re sitting on his couch, watching him pull out random articles of clothing, gadgets, and even some strange ceramic pieces. After some time of opening boxes, he shifts the conversation to arranging another beach date.

“I’m telling you way ahead of time, so this time don’t forget and accidentally pick up a shift please. I’ll tell you about it everyday if I have to.”

He moves to sit next to you, and you tell him okay. Unfortunately, as the conversation keeps going along, a familiar heaviness of insecurity and guilt takes the forefront of your consciousness. More specifically, you’re distracted by how you don’t even have a bathing suit, the stretch marks, the cellulite, and most importantly, will he catch on if you make another excuse again? 

“Hey cutie, what’s on your mind?”

The question cuts through your trance, and you refocus your attention on him. His body is leaning towards you, and his brows are a bit furrowed as he scans your face. 

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

You barely manage to roll that response out as you lean your body away from him. Can he tell something is up? Can he tell you really don’t wanna go? Well, it’s not that you don’t, but would he even still be attracted to you? Could he see you and still want to be with you? You shift your gaze down to his blouse, and peak at the defined collarbone and sculpted chest. Another comparison that adds another weight. You’ve been adding on a lot lately.

Then you look at his face again. Perfectly smooth, free of blemishes. Another weight. 

“Yeah, thinking about what? ‘Cause you’re staring off a terrible lot.”

He leans even closer and a cheeky smile paints his face, but his eyes still show deep concern. And they’re trying to meet your eyes, but you won’t let it happen. 

“Just... thinking.”

“Thinking… Would you let me in, please?” He’s reaching over to hold your hand, kissing your knuckles. “I promise I won’t stop pestering until you tell me.” He winks at you, and your heart beats a lil faster. You’re flattered by his gesture, but scared of his response if you told him the truth. 

“I can’t go.”

“Go where?”

“The beach Rafayel.” 

“Can’t? Why?” He leans back to give you space to think, but he still holds your hand, so you can’t run away from this. There’s a long pause in the air as you reach for words to catch in your mind. What’s a good reason? You want to go. You really do, but you’re not ready to go with him. The flattering, fashionable, funny guy of your dreams. What if it all falls apart at the beach? What if he tells you some crap that ‘oh it’s all in the beauty of your soul’ or some crap. You know he likes your personality already. That’s probably what has kept him with you this long. That’s not what you want to hear, but what if he’s not even attracted to you anymore after that date. And suddenly, he’s asking less and less to go on dates, and then… he breaks up with you?

“What’s going on?” He whispers, his fingers trace the side of your face. “You’re starting to seriously worry me.” 

“I’m sorry. I wanna go, but… Oh it’s so stupid and embarrassing.” 

“Can’t be that stupid if it’s holding you back from going somewhere you wanna go.”

You make an odd noise from the back of your throat. You should tell him. You really should, but you feel so stupid. It’s such a ridiculous reason. At least that’s what you’re telling yourself now that he’s putting you in the spotlight. 

“I’m worried about something.” It took so much out of you to even say that, so you’re starting to sweat and slowly shifting away to the furthest end of the couch. 

“Yes?” He lets you shift away, but never lets go of your hand. He’s starting to get nervous too, and you can feel it in the way his hands are starting to sweat, and he holds on tighter.

“I’m worried that… That you won’t like me anymore afterwards.” You stare at the connected hands–  you’ve loosened your grip.  Because if he wants to let you go after this, then he has every right. A good, handsome guy like him deserves an equally good, beautiful person that has more self confidence than you could ever muster. 

“That.. I won’t like you anymore?” Rafayel tilts his head to the side, eyes widening for a moment, but quickly returning to normal. “Why wouldn’t I like you anymore? I’ve loved you thus far haven’t I? Why would one good date ruin that? One good date at the beach, may I add, because you’ve been fine with other dates and meetups. Even today’s meetup. What’s so different at the beach? Haven’t we walked alongside it before as well?”

You sigh and shrug your shoulders. “It’s because at those other dates, other non-beach dates, I’m dressed up. Y’know? Even when we walk alongside it, I’m still dressed up. Nice blouse, sandals, whatever. I’m not naked. Not even close. But like an actual beach date, you wear a swimsuit. I remember you told me to prepare for that, and I went shopping for it, but I just... I hate it.” 

Rafayel nods along and lets you keep going, his gaze never drifting away from you despite how yours darts from place to place. In those small milliseconds that he can catch your eyes, he takes notice of the worry and fear that plagues your mind; he’s catching onto what you’re trying to push out, but he needs to hear it from you. 

“Hate what?”, he whispers and reaches out to hold your other hand. 

You feel a pull in the back of your throat. Like it’s holding your voice back, but you push through it because you decide, if this is really something that he can't help you through, then he was never really that flattering, fashionable, funny guy of your dreams.

“My body,” you say through an exhale that barely pushes against the pull that was holding you back.

“But your body is gorgeous.” Rafayel moves to your side of the couch and lets go of one hand to cup your face, carefully maneuvering to see your face properly. “I’ve always thought so.”

“But you haven't seen me in swimwear at a beach, Rafayel. I went shopping the other day and do you know how ugly I was.” You hate to get choked up, but it can’t be helped. These things have been weighing on you the entire time, and you’re just placing it all bare at once, to the guy you want to hide it from the most. “And I don’t want to go to the beach, and you realize ‘oh that’s ugly’ and then stop liking me. And I can’t force you to like me, so I would just have to wait until you break up with me because I know I won’t do it.” You keep rambling and forcefully pull your hands away to hide behind them. “This is so stupid and embarrassing.” 

Rafayel takes the time to think about what you’ve said. As he formulates his response, he puts his arms around you to pull you as close as he can to himself, and then tucks your head under his chin as he lets you cry. Hearing you speak so poorly about the person he loves the most hurt him so deeply, yet he could only imagine the suffering you’ve been enduring with yourself. He knows this is a deeper issue than he could ever hope to solve in one day, but he hopes that at the very least, his words breach the surface and make light of what has been weighing you. “You’re not ugly at all. The opposite really. I promise. I’ve liked you for a long long time. Longer than you will ever know.” He speaks clearly into the open as he pats your head. “And I’ve been attracted to you since the beginning. I promise.”

“Only because you haven’t seen all my weird stretch marks.” You close your eyes, squeeze your legs together, and cross your arms in a poor attempt to soothe yourself and to hide, making yourself small. “And cellulite,” you mumble off, and all the weights on your soul seem to tug you down to drown you deeper towards despair as you recall the changing room mirrors. 

“So-? They’re attractive as well.” You open your eyes and move your head to look at him. “You’re just saying that.” He pinches your cheek. “Nah uh. I’m not. I promise. Where are they? I'll tell you how attracted I am to every bit of you”. He shifts you to sit on his lap, your back to his chest, and his chin now rests on your shoulder. He won't let you hide any longer. You're his precious pearl, after all. You're meant to be admired. To be loved and appreciated, especially by him. His hands glide up and down the sides of your thighs for a few strokes before settling on your hips. “Go on, ” He kisses the side of your neck, “I’ll love you no matter what, and if I don’t, you can always dump me. You deserve someone who loves you for every fiber of your being, and I am that person. I promise.” He chuckles at his last remark, giving you a gentle squeeze.  

You’re hesitant, but nod your head firmly. It’s true. You do deserve someone like that, and if he isn’t really that person, then he’s not yours. It would hurt to let him go, but you have every bit the ability to leave him as he does to you. Then, you lift up your shirt just enough, and pull down the waistband just enough to show the stretch marks on your abdomen. 

Your head is turned away, but Rafayel looks down as his hands move to rub at your lower stomach. “Attractive. Just as I said.” He whispers and slows his fingers to trace along the marks. “Like gentle streams across your body...” He mumbles “Leading me right to the most lovely parts of you.” His hands move towards the center and his fingers peak just underneath the waistband before drawing back to your hips. You twitch in response and shift in his lap, eliciting a groan from him. “Can I see more? I wanna see all of them,” his whispers gently blow into your ear.

“Okay…” You tug the waistband an inch or two lower to expose the skin of your hips. “And there’s more around my chest and arms…” Rafayel seems to perk up at the mention, kissing your shoulder. 

“You know, I invited you over because I was kinda in an art block, hence the boxes and boxes of random stuff. But I see how unnecessary that all was now.” He kisses follow the curve of your neck as one hand caresses your hips and the other creeps along your side and over your chest, lifting your shirt higher in the process. 

“In Lemuria, stretch marks are seen as a sign of growth, maturity and even vitality. They’re markings of someone strong and dedicated… These lighter ones represent new beginnings and divinity…Then, these darker ones mean finding love in creativity or creativity in love. Whichever you prefer.” He speaks quietly into your ear, these are meant for you alone. “And that represents you perfectly, doesn’t it? My beautiful muse.” 

“Now, what was it about cellulite?” The last weight that laid the heaviest on you, suddenly felt much lighter right now. “It’s just like. When my fat dimples and whatnot when I’m standing a lil bit. But especially when I’m sitting. But I don’t know how I’m supposed to show you really…” Rafayel’s heavy gaze never leaves as you stand up and fix down your shirt. He picks up on how you keep the waistband low. He wants to have his hands there again. He spreads his legs just enough so that when he pulls you towards him, you slot right between them. He lets you ponder, and he leans forward to kiss the marks on your skin, his fingers flirting with the waistband. You flinch when you feel his tongue flick out and drag along your marks. “Wait Raf..” He hums in response and stops, nuzzling into your stomach. “Yes, your majesty?” 

“Uhm..” You never thought you’d be saying this, “I have yet to show you my cellulite.” Rafayel lifts his head up to see you and nods. “Yeah that’s right. I think I know how you can show me.” Abruptly, he stands up, lifting you off the floor, and he carries you to his bedroom. “What’s your amazing idea?” You query, and in response, he puts you down on the bed, front facing down. “Just stay still.” You can feel the bed dip as he climbs on after you. “Is it okay if I take these off?” His fingers hook around your waistband. You nod, “Yes.” He pulls them off, eyes immediately going to the stretch marks he couldn’t see before. 

He swallows the saliva building in this mouth and puts his hands at the back of your knees. “Is it okay if I move my hands up cutie?” He questions, and as soon as you give the okay, he moves his hands upwards, giving a firm massage up the backs of your thighs while he works on kissing every mark on your lower back, occasionally giving small licks. He notices the dimples in your skin as he pushes his hands up towards your ass. “This is what you were worried about?” He chuckles lightly. “Oh my petite artist and your worries. These are lovely like the soft ripples of a calm ocean. Kinda reminds me of home, and the way the light barely manages to trickle through during sunset and sunrise.” The weights on your mind and soul are dissipating, and a new warm, heated feeling creeps to replace it. 

You feel a fluttering kiss right at the crease of your ass and thigh, “Rafayel–!”.

“Can’t you let me savor this a little more?” You suddenly feel his entire weight press down against you. “Please?” The sensation of his breath against the shell of your ear dances with every nerve along your body. “Every mark just keeps leading me right to…,” he rolls his hips once against you, “...your most lovely parts.” Then, just before you can look back, he turns you around himself and spreads your legs, settling them around his hips. He makes sure your hips are just high enough so his boner is nudging just right against your sex. His thumbs are gently rubbing circles at your hips, and for once since this whole ordeal, you properly meet his eyes. He’s blushing, but he’s not embarrassed or shy like he usually is. His eyes carry a stronger emotional depthness. There’s a romantic sparkle, but also this heavy lust in them. His soft lips are slightly parted to take deeper breaths, chest noticeably rising and falling. You look down, and you’re transfixed at how strained his dick is in his slacks. “Cutie, I wanna feel your beautiful body, and paint it with mine.” He leans down, holding himself up with his forearms, grinding his hips down and carefully kissing along your jaw. “Would you let me?”  He gives one final kiss to your lips and waits for your answer.  “Yes. Please.” You don't know where to place your hands, but gripping the bed feels cold, so you hold onto his shirt, one hand over his heart where it’s warmest.

“Thanks cutie.” He smirks and presses his lips against yours again. Slowly and sensually at first, but gradually deepening as he grinds his hips against you; his hands fondle at your chest, fingers grazing over your nipples. He pulls away, feeling a deep sense of pride when he picks up on how you tried to keep following. “Want more, yeah?” He takes off his shirt and works off his slacks. Then, his calloused fingers pressed against the damp spot on your underwear. “Excited aren't we, my muse?”

He leans forward to whisper in your ear, “And I am too.” He kisses down your chest and puts one nipple in his mouth as his hands tugs down your underwear. “So good for me,” He mumbles against your chest, “Just relax for me.” Carefully he pulls your hips to the edge of the bed, mouth still leaving open kisses on your chest and sucking light bruises. 

Once he was proud of the work he made of your chest, he works his kisses down against your stomach and gives a few short licks along the way before slotting his face against your pussy, letting his nose bump against your clitoral hood and tongue give long flat licks against your pussy. His thumbs help to keep you spread apart to taste every surface of you. He tries to take his time savoring you, kneeled by the bedside, but despite his best efforts, he drools and laps against you. His tongue curls up inside and then towards your clit. So engrossed in the taste and smell, he almost forgets that this was meant to please you more than himself. 

And without you realizing, the entire time, he was dancing his fingers along the stretch marks of your inner thighs. He was worshiping your body, gently massaging and soothing away the weeks worth of pain you had held up. 

He slowly changes his motion, taking shorter flat flicks against your clit, fingers sliding inside and feeling around the ribbing of your walls. He works you open to three fingers and rolls his tongue in circles around your clit. You can’t stop bucking your hips up and rubbing against his face. Your hands grapple at his head, grabbing onto whatever you can– you need him. 

As your orgasm builds up, Rafayel resists less and allows you to guide him, giving you more control of his movement. He’s losing his sensibility, so he almost needs you to move him. His cock’s achy and throbbing, tip tapping at his stomach. He reaches down to try and stop the dribbling precum from reaching the floor but it’s a useless attempt. Precum is getting all over the floor and his hand. He can barely manage a short stroke down his shaft without whimpering. He quickly realizes that he can’t do anything for himself if he doesn’t wanna cum before you, but it’s getting painful. 

He wants you to cum so bad. He’s twitching at every flutter and throb against his face. He gives up on being gentle and puts his focus on suckling on your clit. You can barely make out his meek attempts at pleading with you “please…please. Please…” With just a few more sharp tongue rolls and strokes and final harsh suckle of your clit, you cum. Quickly, he’s slurping up your orgasm, tongue taking up all you can give and gulping down as much as he can. This is his sanctuary. Where his purpose is, where he belongs, and without having realized, he came too. And it’s likely the Lemurian biology, but it doesn’t shoot out particularly far, but the semen is thick and heavy. It’s getting all over his fingers and spilling across on the floor. 

But he wants to feel just a bit more. He needs to feel more, but you pull him away. His whimpers almost sound like choked up sobs, like he’s disappointed it’s over. When you loosen your grip on him, he creeps forward to kiss you. The tip of his cock is kissing at your entrance, and you’re uncontrollably clenching. “Can I?” He looks so dazed, and lost, not completely in his right mind, and you’re not any better.

“Please.” You whine, and that’s all it takes before he’s inside you in one languid stroke. He trembles the entire time, feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated inside your pussy. 

“Thank you cutie,” you take notice of the shakiness in his voice. “But I think I’m gonna cum again soon.” His chuckle echoes through the fogginess of your mind; he sounds so distant and quiet with the ringing in your ears still there from your orgasm. “That’s okay.” You whisper back, reaching out to wrap your arms around his neck– it’s a weak attempt at grounding yourself, so he doesn’t sound so far away. “So please keep going, I love you.” Suddenly, he tenses up and shivers at your whispers, and you realize.

He came again. Right inside. Your eyes go wide. It feels like you’re slowly being filled with cum. Meanwhile, Rafayel’s still and whining into your neck. “I wasn’t ready for that… and I love you, too.” He refuses to show his face as he does shallow pumps, grinding his hips a little when he’s balls deep, like he’s trying to push it all against your cervix. “I’m sorry. I thought I’d have lasted longer.” After a few moments, when he’s finally done cumming, he leans back and watches as he slowly slides out, biting his lip at the view. His cock is completely coated in your slick, and mostly his cum. He takes a moment before pulling the tip out, wanting to really draw the last moment. But after he does, he lays down beside you, floating down from his orgasm.

“You know, I kinda knew something was up since the first time you ‘accidentally’ picked up a shift. You sounded really guilty. But I didn't think over the phone was the best time to confront you. You sounded so sad already.” He turns to hold you. “I was worried, you know? Maybe I had made you uncomfortable? I don't know, but next time don't be afraid to tell me these things. It's okay to depend on me, to ask me about these things.” You nod along, “I know, I was just worried and didn’t want to bother you.”

 “I’ve told you before, but I guess you forgot. I want every one of your bad moods.” He reaches to hold one of your hands.

“But what if I'm too moody, and it becomes a pain?” You squeeze his hand, and he does the same in kind.

“I said every. one. I truly mean it. Besides, just seeing you smile is enough to brighten my day.” 

Afterwards, there's a long pause. He breaks silence first. 

“So like… when do you wanna go shopping for swimwear? I got so many ideas of what we could wear. I bookmarked soooo many tabs.” 

You laugh at the sudden change of tone, “We?” 

“Yeah we could go matching,” he pinches your cheek before continuing, “And I'm happy that you're laughing again, but I'm serious. Don't laugh.” 

There's a light airy playfulness as the conversation continues. Giggles back and forth and light teasing. Whatever insecurities you had weighed on yourself so heavily before, feel so far away. Like it had never happened. Or like it was evaporated out of your skin, and all that’s left is a newfound appreciation for yourself.

A/N: Another week, another work done. Editing takes a lot of work btw. Rereading my own work over and over again until I'm satisfied with it. This was supposed to just be another hurt/comfort fic but it ended up having smut in the end. But it also ends on a kinda funny note, so a win in my opinion. I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I did. Also, sometimes I like to include lines directly from the game into my writing if I can. That's what the bolded words at the end are for. I got them from that five star memory with fireworks with Rafayel. Sparkling Traces is what it's called, I just searched it up lol.

I think the smut is pretty soft though. I didn't mean to write Rafayel as being so sensitive... but I couldn't help it. It's been 800 years, I can only imagine how pent up that guy is.

OH! Before I forget, yeah I try not to describe the MC's body as much as possible ever. Unless it's specifically for the cause like yk stretch marks and cellulite in this one. I want my writing to be inclusive to all. 🥹🫶I know it's hard to read something while being fully aware it's completely not for someone like you. I remember I was originally gonna write it with a chubby/fat reader in mind, but yk skinny/thin people have stretch marks and cellulite as well. So I decided to cut that out.

But overall, thank y'all so much for reading, and if you have any ideas or suggestions, don't be afraid to ask (if you like my writing ofc). I don't bite. Follow for short updates or if you ever wanna drop me a chat, I'm open to speaking! Please shower this with as much love or more that you gave my first post 🥹🫶I appreciate every note I get on this. It really motivates me to keep publishing my works.

[rosierin]

i used to love him | suna rintarou

synopsis; (y/n) talks about her feelings towards suna, from childhood to current day.

suna's pov here

this fic is part of the off-season quartet™ series! for more, click here :)

I used to love him.

Not in a way you plan for. It just sort of… happened.

It was cute, honestly. Innocent. Simple. The kind of thing people call puppy love. At least, that’s how I’ve always seen it. Loving him came as easily as breathing, or blinking. It was quiet but constant—something that made the world feel a little brighter. Something worth waking up for. A little secret joy that sat behind everything else, like music playing faintly in the background of a really good day.

I think it started when we were around ten, in elementary school.

We were kids who got along without even trying. The ones who sat in the corner at birthday parties, trading sweets instead of dancing. The kind that didn't need to fit into larger friend groups. We were happy so long as we had each other, perfectly content as just a little duo.

Rin didn’t talk much��still doesn’t, actually.

He was my opposite in every way.

Quiet. Aloof. A little standoffish. I’m pretty sure people called him “the weird kid,” which—yeah, he kind of was. He never really made the effort to make friends. Usually ate alone during lunch. Would rather work solo than in group projects.

I don’t really know why I approached him first… I guess I must’ve found him mysterious or something. Like maybe he was just pretending not to care, and I wanted to see if I could crack it.

I still remember our first proper conversation.

We were sitting next to each other during lunch, and I noticed Pokémon Platinum poking out of his backpack. I’m pretty sure I went into a full-on tangent that day, rambling about how Sinnoh was my favourite region and which Pokémon were criminally underrated.

I always laugh when I think about it. He must’ve been like, “Who the hell is this nutcase and why is she all up in my face?”

But I mean—he couldn't have been that bothered since he sat through the whole thing. Nodded along. Never looked away. Even at the time, I remember being weirdly struck by how good he was at eye contact.

He couldn’t have been that shy, then, I thought.

And clearly he wasn’t as anti-social as everyone said, because after that? We were inseparable. I’m not sure how it happened—though I’m almost certain I planned it—but before long I was going to his house nearly every weekend. We’d play DS together. Have sleepovers. We'd even share a bed.

He wasn’t chatty like me. But that never bothered me. I was more than happy to do enough talking for the both of us. I think even as a kid, I liked his silence. It meant I could ramble about whatever I wanted without worrying if I was being too much.

Rin never made me feel like I was too much.

Never told me to be quiet. Never told me to go away.

And somehow, despite being nothing like me, Rin quickly became my favourite person.

I remember sitting by the school gates before class, tracing patterns into my shoelaces while I waited for him.

Even if he was late.

Especially if he was late.

Even when he was sick, I’d wait for at least an hour, just in case he'd show up. (I sound kinda crazy now that I say it out loud.)

I always gave him the green highlighter. I think I told him it didn’t suit me. Told him it matched his eyes. (It did. I've always like his pretty eyes.)

Everyone called us a duo. Not in a weird way—more like we just made sense together. Wherever one of us went, people expected the other.

And honestly? I liked that.

I liked when teachers asked, “Where’s (y/n)?” or “Where’s Rin?” whenever one of us was missing.

I liked being his other half. Loved being his person.

And maybe that’s where it all started.

In the little things. The small, unnoticed spaces where love begins to grow—before you even have the words for it.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

I think I really knew when we were around thirteen, in middle school.

I started getting nervous around him—even though I never had before. And for the stupidest reasons, too.

My hands got all fidgety and clammy when we talked. My words jumbled. I noticed how close we sat. I noticed the way our hands brushed when we walked side by side. The way his arm felt warm when it pressed against mine during class. I noticed how much I noticed.

Rin's always been big on eye contact when he talks. It’s something I love now. But at thirteen? It was terrifying. I used to look away when he held my gaze too long, like I was going to combust or something.

It was that kind of crush. The teen rom-com kind. The hair-twirling, feet-kicking, doodling-his-name-in-your-notebook kinda love. Sweet, harmless, a little naïve.

I remember doing some pretty cringe stuff. Like trying to mould myself into his exact type.

If he complimented another girl’s outfit, you better believe I’d show up the next week wearing something eerily similar. Oh—he liked a certain perfume? I ordered it off Amazon that same night.

There was even this one time he mentioned he liked the “sporty girl” archetype in anime. And after that, I wore a ponytail. Every single day. No exceptions. Sometimes I’d even throw on a dad cap on weekends, just to really play the part.

It was embarrassing, honestly. And so painfully obvious. (Even though thirteen-year-old me probably thought I was being subtle.)

And yet, Rin never said a thing. Nothing changed. He never pulled away... but he never leaned closer, either.

I’m almost certain he knew. He had to know. I guess he just didn’t see me that way. Which was totally fine, for the record. No pressure. So I kept smiling. Kept laughing at his jokes. Kept pretending I wasn’t in love with him.

And for the most part? That was fine by me.

I was content loving him quietly. Just appreciating his company. Daydreaming in secret. Hoping, a little—but mostly just accepting whatever it was we had going on.

And eventually… it started to fade.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

We started high school at fifteen. Same school, of course.

Choosing a high school was, at the time, the most stressful decision of my life. I genuinely thought if I made the wrong choice, I’d ruin everything. Like, full meltdown. I cried twice and made it everyone's problem.

(Spoiler alert: it wasn’t that deep.)

I considered just staying local. The town school was fine. Definitely the safer and easier option. But then Rin got scouted by Inarizaki’s volleyball coach, and that was it for me. End of story. Because going to a different school than Rin?

No way. That was... unequivocally, out of the question.

Going to a different school than him wasn’t just unappealing—it was impossible. I’d told him back in middle school that I’d follow him wherever he went, and I meant it. (I don’t think he believed me at the time, but he should’ve known better.)

My parents weren’t too fussed about it. In fact, when I mentioned Rin was going too, they were relieved and said something like, “ Well if Rin’s there, we know you’ll be fine.” Which… fair enough. They trusted him almost as much as I did.

Still, moving to a new region, staying in dorms, living away from home for the first time? It was a lot. I was excited, but also terrified. Everything was new and unfamiliar—new teachers, new routines, new slang I had to Google in secret.

But Rin was still Rin.

Still my person. Still the one I sat next to during orientation. Still the one I went to when I got homesick.

We weren’t just fine. We were solid.

We had different classes, sure. Different schedules at times. But it didn’t matter. We still ate lunch together. Walked back to the dorms together. Watched anime on his laptop together. Nothing between us had really changed. And that alone made everything else feel manageable.

It wasn’t long before I started watching him play.

Volleyball had always looked good on him. His movements were sharp, calculated and effortless. Watching him on the court made me feel oddly proud, even though I had nothing to do with it.

Eventually, I asked to meet the team. I always saw them after practice so I figured, why not? He agreed, of course. Told me they were all "pretty cool".

That’s when I met the Miya twins.

And honestly? My first impression? Pretty 50/50.

I'll let you guess which twin was my favourite.

(Spoiler alert: it wasn't Atsumu.)

Atsumu was loud, cocky, and honestly a little insufferable. He was your typical jock. A frat boy in the making. At least that's what my initial thoughts were. I'd later realize he's far too much of a softie for that kind of debaucherous lifestyle and actually cares about his education.

Osamu, on the other hand, was far easier to talk to. Calmer. Less... in your face. He still teased and was competitive like his brother, but he was a lot more grounded and mature. He actually listened when people spoke. He was a little more serious. A little more thoughtful.

He reminded me of Rin in some ways—same sense of humour, similar "vibe"—but I could tell he was just as hot-blooded than his twin, just better at hiding it.

I liked him straight away.

But Rin? Rin was still the one I looked for.

Still the one I cheered for during practice.

Still the one who made everything feel like home.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

By the time we were sixteen, something shifted.

It didn't hit me all at once. Nothing like that. No sudden realisation. It was... more of a slow build.

I think it started when I stopped waiting for him after class. Not because I didn’t want to—but because he stopped expecting me to, I think. We were older now, and maybe I just didn’t know how to ask if he still wanted me there. I think a small part of me was afraid he'd find be overbearing.

So… I found new people to walk with. I sat with the twins more often. Got to know them more. I found out Osamu was a massive foodie and a true sweetheart, and that Atsumu was actually just a massive poser—a big, fat jerk, yes, but one with a big heart for those in his circle. A circle I had somehow managed to weave myself into.

I was starting to learn how to hold my own in a school that didn’t revolve around Rin.

And it wasn’t about replacing him. Oh no—definitely not that.

He was still my safe place. Still the person who knew me best.

But I was starting to feel like… maybe I could be my own person too. I’d always been more of a social butterfly, but ever since I met Rin, my circle had mostly revolved around him. So making new friends felt really nice—refreshing, even.

I got close to the Miya twins pretty fast—faster than Rin did, actually. They were impossible to ignore. Loud, chaotic, but strangely grounding in their own way. Osamu was calm and dependable, with a wicked sense of humour once you earned it. We had our own inside jokes now—mostly at his brother’s expense.

Speaking of the latter—

Things got... strange between us. Well—not strange. But at some point, our bickering didn’t feel like bickering anymore. It felt like something suspiciously close to flirting. He started it, of course.

He was so not my type. Funnily enough, if I had to pick one of the two, it’d be Osamu. So imagine my confusion when I started to realize I had feelings for Atsumu.

I think it’s because he challenged me. Pushed my buttons. Pulled things out of me I didn’t know were there. He made me raise my voice. Made me dig my heels in. Made me fight for my space in a way that was oddly exhilarating.

We were fire and fire. Burned too bright on some days, but we always came back.

He was never quiet like Rin. Never still. Never easy.

But with Atsumu, I didn’t feel like I had to wait.

And maybe that was easier than reaching for someone who never reached back.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

We were seventeen when I realized I wasn’t in love with Rin anymore.

And it didn’t break me. It didn't make me feel particularly sad.

It just… passed. Quietly. Like something I’d outgrown. Like a sweater that didn’t quite fit the same, no matter how much you used to love it.

I still loved him, of course. I don’t think that part ever changed. But it wasn’t the breathless, giddy, daydreamy kind of love anymore. My love had settled into something softer. Like nostalgia. Like home.

Or at least… that’s what I told myself.

We were eighteen when the four of us moved in together. It felt like a natural next step—me, the twins, and Rin. Like starting a new chapter of a story we were all co-writing.

And then came New Year’s Eve.

Rin's house was quiet. The twins were back in Hyōgo. His parents were out. We were alone in his room, lights off, movie forgotten, fireworks going off in the distance like the climax of some cheesy shōjo anime.

And then… he kissed me.

No warning. No build-up. Just—one second we were sitting side by side, and the next, his mouth was on mine.

And I froze. Not because I didn’t want it. Just… because I didn’t understand it.

Because for one awful, beautiful second, it felt like everything came rushing back. Like my feelings had been waiting. Like they’d never really gone away at all.

I kissed him back. I kissed him like I’d always wanted to.

My hands in his hair. Chest pressed to his. His breath in my mouth.

And then his hands slid to my waist. He climbed on top of me. And I let him. I let him kiss me harder. Let him touch me. Let myself get swept up in it—drunk on him. On the weight of his body. The way he whispered my name. The way he called me beautiful like I was truly his to admire.

I think I was panting his name by then. I think I forgot how to think.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that—that’s when the confusion hit.

Because I didn’t know what I was feeling. Didn’t know what he was feeling.

What made him do it? Why now?

Surely not love. He’d never hinted at anything like that before. He’d never looked at me like that. Never touched me like someone who’d been waiting.

So was it lust?

And if it was… That stung. More than I thought it would.

I didn’t feel it that night, though. Not right away. That hurt only came later—once the adrenaline wore off. Once I was lying awake and remembering every second. Every sigh. Every touch.

But in the moment?

I was too busy getting lost in him. Too busy writhing beneath him. Too busy hoping—just for a second—that maybe I was wrong. Maybe it did mean something.

And then I panicked.

Because it was too fast. Too much. Too not us.

And I knew—deep in my gut—that this couldn’t be the way our story played out.

I didn’t want to be a one-night thing for him.

Didn’t want to ruin what we had just because my heart got caught in the crossfire of something he didn’t mean.

So I pulled away.

Didn’t say a word. Just let the moment pass.

And we never talked about it again.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

I thought maybe he regretted it.

Or maybe he just didn’t care.

Or maybe I’d imagined the whole thing meant more than it did.

It didn't help that he never brought it up. Not once. Still, he never looked at me any differently. But he never asked if I was okay, either.

And yeah… maybe that hurt a little.

Was it embarrassment? Was I a mistake? Was it just lust, some throwaway moment he didn’t want to acknowledge?

I didn’t know. Still don’t.

So I let it go. Buried it deep. Filed it away in that part of my brain labeled: “Don’t think about this unless you want to overthink yourself into insanity.”

I decided to move forward. I started laughing more. Smiling wider. Let myself lean into other people.

I grew closer to Atsumu—not to replace something I lost, but because he was there. Steady in his own chaotic, big-hearted way.

He made me laugh. Gave me hell. Challenged me. Made me feel seen. With him, I never had to guess. Never had to read between the lines or sit with questions I wasn’t brave enough to ask.

(Or at least, that’s what I thought at the time. But that’s a whole other can of worms.)

Sometimes—just sometimes—that night still comes back to me.

His hands. His breath. The way he said my name like it meant something.

And I still don’t know how to feel about it.

It’s probably nothing.

It’s all in the past.

And there's nothing weird about it.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

We were nineteen when I started realizing how little I thought about Rin in that way anymore. Like—actually, this time.

Not because I didn’t care. I still care—very much so. I guess I just... stopped expecting anything to happen entirely.

He was still Rin. Still steady. Still there. Still my best friend who I deeply cherish and always will.

But whatever we used to be—whatever I used to feel—it's settled into something quieter. Something softer and easier to carry.

He never brought up that kiss. Not once. Never looked at me differently. Never made it weird. Just… carried on like it hadn’t meant anything. Like we were the same as we’d always been.

And eventually, I guess I believed him and moved on.

Even now, nothing’s really changed.

We’re almost done with college. On the cusp of whatever comes next.

Atsumu and I aren’t a thing. Not really. But there’s something there. A flicker, maybe. Or a fire I’m still figuring out.

I’m happy, though.

No, really—I am!

I’ve got three best friends. A home that feels like mine. Days that make me laugh until my stomach hurts.

Rin’s still a major part of my world. Still close, in that comfortable, familiar way. Still easy to be around. Still my best friend that I'd do anything for.

It’s rare—but sometimes, I wonder if he still thinks about that kiss.

Even rarer—but sometimes, I wonder if I should’ve let it happen.

I wonder if I ever really fell out of love with him… or if I just learned how to live without hoping.

But most days?

Most days, I don’t wonder at all.

Most days, I’m okay.

And that’s more than enough.

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

He’s looking at me now.

I smile—out of habit, mostly. But it’s real.

He smiles back, like always.

And for a second, something in my chest stirs. Something old. Something that used to ache.

But it doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s just… there. A quiet flicker of something that once mattered a little more than it does now.

I blink, and it’s gone.

Whatever it was—it’s not ours anymore.

Maybe it never really was.

And maybe I’m okay with that.

I’ve got my little home. My little family. A life that’s messy and chaotic and warm in all the right ways.

I’ve got the twins and their bickering. I’ve got Rin and his quiet, grounding presence.

I’ve got love, just… not the kind I used to dream about.

And honestly?

That feels more than enough.

[batsandbirdbrains]

Turns out I just like making Dick suffer so

The one where everyone finds out Bruce kicked Dick out

I love aging Dick down a bit at the end of yj season 2 so he’s still in high school idk why. Like 15ish. I like the drama. The absolute heartbreak of it all. The punch in the gut everyone must feel when they remember the guy who was leading them through the invasion, who they gave such a hard time to for things mostly out of his control, who was spread so thin he almost snapped in half, was a fifteen year old AP student at Gotham Academy who somehow had the time to cover for Batman, lead the team, go undercover with Deathstroke to backup Kaldur, help Tim with his Robin training, and basically come up with the plans that saved the world all while doing math homework and studying for English tests.

So once all the League members are back on Earth and everything settles down, Bruce and Dick have a huge falling out. Bruce criticizes him for everything he did that wasn’t up to Bruce’s standards. He wasn’t a good enough Batman, he wasn’t a good enough leader, he shouldn’t have gone undercover as Renegade, he should have trained more with Tim, he should have gotten better grades. Dick felt like he was drowning under all the expectations, and he they got into a huge fight in the Batcave while Tim was upstairs with Alfred, blissfully unaware.

It wasn’t a particularly long fight, but it was heated, angry, and bloody - more so for Dick than Bruce. Dick may have been able to get a good few hits in, but he couldn’t bring himself to fight back against his dad. Or at least who he thought was his dad. But Bruce has no problem bringing up that he never adopted Dick, he had given him plenty, and he’ll continue paying for school but Dick needs to leave. Immediately. He can’t have a protege who can’t take orders, who’s subpar.

Dick feels like his insides are covered in ice. He’s leaning against the wall, gasping, sucking in air while blood drips down his face. Bruce has already left, Dick doesn’t know where to. But Dick is told not to be here by the time he gets back. He cleans up just enough to go upstairs, avoid Tim and Alfred, and quickly pack a couple bags. Just the essentials. A few sentimental things. His school stuff. His emergency cash.

Then he goes back to the cave and packs a whole bag full of tactical gear, gadgets, weapons. He takes his Nightwing suit, but he’s not sure he’ll even wear it. Looking at it just makes him sick right now.

He sets up in a safe house and resolutely doesn’t let himself start to breakdown. It will just make things more difficult. He grabs a first aid kit, sits in the bathroom, and is very methodical of how he takes care of any cuts and bruises and breaks.

It’s only a couple fingers that are broken anyway, and they’re in his left hand. It will be fine.

His lip is busted and his nose and left eye are bruised to hell, but he still has a week before school starts back up, that’s plenty of time for it to go down. He can just say he got into a fight, or was mugged or something. No one will care.

He plans on graduating at the end of the next semester anyway. He’s taken extra classes and two years of summer school for a reason. He won’t be valedictorian or anything, but he doesn’t particularly care all that much. He’d rather just be done with it.

Dick spends the next few months totally isolated. He goes to school, he trains in his safe house, and he works his own cases. He stays away from the Bat, from the Justice League, from the team. No one tries reaching out. No one calls him. He tells himself he likes it that way.

He has a night job at a seedy bar around the corner from his safe house where he goes by the name Gray Johnson, the owner not even looking at all the fake documentation Dick put together. And it turns out, he kinda likes being Gray. No one looks at him twice, no one questions him. A couple of the cooks always send him home with extra food because he stopped some rowdier customers from harassing the waitresses, and then a few weeks later stopped a robber before he could even pull his gun.

The other workers like Gray, the regulars like Gray, the owner likes Gray. It’s so much easier to pretend he really is Gray, to pretend Dick never even existed.

And if one of the cooks and a bartender and the owner see right through the shitty alias and recognize him as Bruce Wayne’s estranged ward? Well, no one ever says anything.

A few months later, Dick graduates from Gotham Academy. He’s ranked 8th in the class. He doesn’t attend the ceremony, but he picks up the diploma from the front office instead of opting to mail it to his address on file. He refuses to go back to the manor for anything.

He relocates to Blüdhaven, gets a job at a new bar with a stellar reference from his previous boss, and starts worming his way into the Blüdhaven underground to gather his own intel.

It’s almost a year after the invasion before anyone tries contacting him.

He’d been working all night, going straight into a stakeout after working a shift at the bar. The stakeout led to a fight, which led to a nasty bruise on Dick’s jaw, a busted lip, and only a slight limp. He’ll be fine, he just needs to sleep it off.

So naturally that’s when he finally receives a message on the JL communicator he doesn’t even know why he keeps. It’s a single world message. Watchtower.

He gags over the toilet for twelve minutes, tries using mouthwash only to immediately spit it out when it makes his lip sting, and then uses a handful of sink water to swallow down some painkillers before leaving.

The Watchtower was a shit show when he arrived. People running around, shouting at each other, monitors flickering between different security camera pictures and videos. Dick thinks the world must be ending or something, he’s immediately on edge and pushes every emotion into a box in his head and locks it up tight. He refuses to be a liability.

“What’s going on?” He asks when Artemis almost walks right past him. And the room freezes.

“Oh my God, Dick!” she cries, and she launches herself at him, hugging him tight. Everyone turns to them, and Dick feels like a bug under a microscope.

“Hey,” he greets her, a hand patting her back awkwardly. “What’s - uh - what’s happening? I got a message to come here?”

“What’s - what’s happening?” she repeats, pulling back from him to stare at him. Then she hits him in the chest, and he tries his best not to think abt the way his ribs were stomped on not an hour ago. “You’ve been missing, you asshole! No one has seen you in months!”

He winces a bit when she hits his chest again, and he takes a step away from her, just barely catching the way her face falls.

“I’m confused,” he admits. And several others are inching closer to him now, he feels like he’s being boxed in. “I didn’t - I wasn’t hiding or anything. No one called me until today.”

“That can’t be true,” someone - maybe Conner? - says. “Your last log is from the day of the invasion. That was a year ago.”

“Yeah.” Dick feels a little breathless. “So?”

They’re all quiet, and he hates the way he can feel them staring at him. At the bruising on his face. At the way he’s favoring his right leg. At the way the Nightwing suit is a bit looser than it had been a year ago, his hair a bit longer and messier. He knows he looks like shit. He doesn’t need them to point it out.

“Dick?” M’gann asks. “What happened?”

Dick doesn’t speak for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly she’s asking. He hates the way everyone is still staring at him. He hates the way Batman is lingering in the back.

“What do you want from me?” His voice is soft as he asks, almost afraid of what their answer will be. He’s suddenly so tired. He just wants to go to bed.

“We want to know why you dropped off the face of the Earth,” someone says harshly. “Batman said he hadn’t seen you since a couple days after the invasion. Wanna tell us why you left?”

“Why I left?” Dick repeats, the words bouncing around his head. Then he snaps his neck to glare at Bruce and spits out, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

“What, you guys had another fight so you disappeared for a year?”

“Fuck you, Tim,” Dick snaps. “You have no clue what you’re talking about, so just shut the fuck up!”

The anger, the rage, the despair, the abandonment that he’d buried since he left the manor all comes crashing back, and he feels like he’s drowning, like he can’t catch his breath.

“You all think I look bad now? I’m practically peachy compared to how he left me last time!”

“Dick, this is not-“

“Fuck you!” Dick’s chokes out, his voice cracking. “If you didn’t want them knowing, you shouldn’t have let them call me up here! What, did you not want them to know that you beat the shit outta me last time we talked? That you pointed out that you conveniently never adopted me and then kicked me out while I was still bleeding on the fucking floor? Was that a secret?”

The gasps from around the room don’t register in his head, he doesn’t see the shocked faces from everyone around him, all he can see is the way Batman’s expression grows darker and darker under the cowl.

“Sorry to be such an inconvenience for you,” Dick drawls out, backing up towards the zeta tubes. “I know you were so embarrassed to have such a subpar protege, but don’t worry, I won’t get in your way ever again. Not like anyone here actually wants me around anyway.”

He hates the way his voice shakes with that last sentence. He hadn’t actually meant to say it out loud, but his arms are tingling and his lungs feel both too full and too empty at the same time, and he just wants to leave before Batman decides to come any closer to him.

He turns back to the zeta tubes to go back home before any of the several voices from behind him can finish what they’re saying. His head is swimming and his eyes can’t focus on anything. He rushes home, tearing off his suit and scrubbing the rest of the dirt and blood and grime off before he remembers the JL communicator still sitting on his couch.

He chucks it across the room. Twice. Then stomps on it for good measure.

Then he finally falls into bed just as the sun rises. And if his pillow is getting damp beneath his face as he tries to block out the light, well, he’ll just flip it over and pretend it’s fine.

[luvvyouforever]

saw your post about declan x reader x rupert and i can't stop thinking about them in their slutty little venturer tshirts ugh need to be sandwiched between them while they're bickering over who can make you feel better

ughhh the slutty venturer t-shirts! just for you anon <3

challengers - declan o'hara x reader x rupert campbell-black

synopsis: rupert believes he can make you feel better. declan disagrees and thinks he can. there's only one way to find out.

content: threesome (kinda?), afab reader, no m/m, rupert's got a thing for legs, no maud au so there's no infidelity, oral sex, handjob kinda, hickeys, praise, squirting

word count: 3k oops

author's note: this fic has been sitting in the drafts for a whileeeeeee. like before season 2 was even confirmed. enjoy! (ps i haven't watched challengers i just thought the title was fitting)

you think that maybe rupert and declan have forgotten about you sandwiched between them, but perhaps there were worse places to be than leaned against a doorframe, the heady scents of their cologne filling your nose.

"i just find it interesting that every time i come to look for our dear y/n, she's always right by your side, hmm?" rupert's posh accent echoed above you, his chest puffed.

"have you thought that she just prefers my company to yours, rupert?" declan's thick accent was so different to rupert's, but they mingled so well together. you briefly wondered how long you could still there still and quiet until they acknowledge your existence again.

"considering you're tipsy half of the day, i have reason to doubt that."

you would be standing there quietly for a long time.

it was painfully obvious to everyone, not just you, that rupert and declan harboured crushes for you. it had started when freddie managed to poach you from corinium to come work for venturer instead, and small gazes as you left turned into something you weren't even sure how to handle.

"you guys do know i'm standing here still...right?" you managed to slip out between the incessant firing off of insults.

their heads turned downwards, eyes meeting your own.

"of course, doll," declan said at the same time as rupert's, "could never forget you, sweetheart." they glared at each other, then returned to their attention to you.

it was a bit overwhelming, sure, but you held firm in your resolve to attempt to solve this issue. "i thought i could just let you both fight till you came up with a solution, but the plan has not worked evidently. and a girl can only take so much lustful staring and touches on the knee before she need something."

"i'm sorry if declan's made you uncomfortable, love," rupert said slyly, hand softly grazing your upper arm.

declan immediately lost the control he was exerting and faced rupert again with a loud scoff. "i'm making her uncomfortable? if anything, you are! who'd want a man that's slept with half the countryside giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

rupert couldn't help himself. "who'd want a man that hasn't slept with anyone in months giving her fuck-me-eyes?"

"oh, i'm sure i could make her feel much better than you ever could. just cause you're easy doesn't mean you're good."

with every word spat at each other, their shoulders squared and jaws clenched. if you didn't know any better, you'd keep watching the way their t-shirts flexed against their skin, swooning at the knowledge that it was you they were fighting over. but you had to do something.

it seemed crazy the second it popped into your brain. like something from one of those erotica books lizzie wrote. but the way rupert and declan were so naturally competitive, it might be the only way to solve this before they irreparably damaged the friendship they'd been building through venturer.

first you tried to clear your throat loudly which didn't work. they continued to mumble about their respective skills. then you tried saying their names. didn't work either. finally, with a huff of pure frustration, you grabbed each of them by the collars of their t-shirts and drug them further inside declan's home, effectively shutting the door behind you with your foot.

"jesus christ, you're like toddlers," you near-shouted. "you'd think a teacher told you that you have to share the toy the way you're arguing with each other. we have to solve this one way or another." you paused for a beat, letting the two men gather their composure. declan leaned against the kitchen counter, while rupert stood with his arms crossed. "i want you to listen to every word i have to say without speaking, okay? and when i am done, you are allowed to give me a response."

you waited for them to nod and once they did, you continued speaking.

"in full honesty, i can't choose between the two of you. you're both handsome and intelligent and i've enjoyed getting to know you. but i know you can't share. that would never work with the way you both square off like gorillas in a jungle," you said. your next words needed to be chose carefully. "however, i can't make a decision without test driving. so, we can settle this like adults in declan's bedroom, or i will walk out the door and forget that i ever found the two of you attractive in the first place."

true to their word, neither of them spoke until you gestured that you were done. declan was the first to speak up. "how long have you found me attractive, huh?"

"good lord," rupert whispered to himself, though both you and declan heard it clearly. "so when you mean settle this like adults..." he trailed off, posing a question for you to respond to.

"d'ya need her to spell it out for you?" declan asked, shoving himself off the kitchen counter. he sauntered towards you and his scent flooded your senses once again. his hand came to your lower back, dipping down just enough to graze your ass. "she wants us to prove which of us is better."

you let out a soft gasp, followed by a bite of your lip when his hand lifted then came back down on your ass, more harsh than a love tap, but clearly not as rough as he'd like to go.

declan chuckled. "think i'm already ahead of you."

"jesus, get in the bedroom already," rupert said, coming up behind you and replacing declan's hand with his own, pushing you towards the stairs.

the next few moments were a blur. before you knew it, your figure was posed on the middle of declan's bed, with declan and rupert waiting patiently at the foot.

"are there rules?" rupert asked.

you thought for a second. it was an impulsive plan, one you hadn't put much thought into. you shook your head. "nope. want you both to show me just how good you are since you're talking all that game."

declan and rupert looked at each other perhaps the most amiably the whole entire evening. while it was a competition, they seemed to have a silent agreement that your world would be forever changed after this.

declan moved first, his eyes already lowered and darkened with desire. having this view of you in his bed was driving him mad, pushing him to do that much better so he could always see you sprawled on the flannel sheets that smelled like him.

"can i take this off of you, love?" he asked quietly, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt. you met his dark brown eyes and nodded, biting your lip as his hands deftly removed the fabric. you could hear the hitch in both his and rupert's breathing.

suddenly, rupert's frame was on your other side, fingers barely touching the skin on your side. "you're so beautiful," he said. though declan made the initial move, rupert took it one step further and brought his head down to offer you a sweet kiss on the lips. declan could've growled, but he knew you wanted to end the fighting. he had to just find his own way to touch you.

as rupert continued to expertly move his lips against yours, declan's own mouth met your neck and upper chest. he left hot, open-mouthed kisses on your delicate skin and you whimpered into rupert's mouth.

declan continued his ministrations as rupert pulled away and tugged off his venturer t-shirt, revealing his toned, tan body underneath. he then slid his belt from around his waist and threw it down onto declan's carpet. he took a few seconds to figure out his next plan of action and when he saw just how enamoured you were with declan's kisses, he opted for the same strategy.

rupert leaned down and started trailing his lips along your stomach, up to the edge of your bra, around the seam, then back down again. he was careful not to invade declan's space while also losing himself in the way your noises reverberated in his ears.

declan, too, rose from kneeling and took off his own shirt. you managed to open your eyes and the sight before you could've sent you reeling immediately. rupert was toned and muscular while declan was broad and, for the lack of a better word, big. in that moment, you considered yourself the luckiest girl on the planet.

your hands flew to declan as he leant back down, fingers roaming the broad expanse of his chest. desperate to have him kiss you on the lips this time, you moved your hand to his chin and tugged him towards you. he picked up the message easily and moved his lips against yours eagerly.

so far, you distinguished that declan and rupert had two distinct styles. declan was desperate and eager and ready to take you as his own. his kisses were passionate and you could tell from his touches that he was exerting a lot of restraint. rupert, on the other hand, was more calculated. his kisses started delicate, like he was teasing you, drawing you in, making you crave more. it would be a harder decision than you thought.

once he was satisfied with the trail of kisses along your body, rupert ducked down, fingers teasing the band of your pants. you looked up at you, somehow meeting your eyes past declan's head, and asked a silent question. you nodded as best as you could, then turned back to declan. as rupert's hands tugged down your pants, revealing your bare legs, your fingers tangled in declan's curls.

you had become so lost in declan's overpowering kiss that you let out a sudden gasp when rupert's mouth met your thighs. you could feel his breath against your legs, hands squeezing your flesh. you realized his weakness then as he groaned with every inch his mouth met.

eventually, you pulled away from declan, desperate for breath. he looked at you with a powerful look, one that you could hardly tear away from. you did, though, and gestured to his pants. "don't leave me alone here," you whispered. he smirked and stood to undo his belt, then tug his pants off.

as if his arousal was not already evident, the bulge barely concealed by his boxers revealed it tenfold. your eyes roamed his body and with a smirk, your hand reached out to his core. at the sudden contact, he groaned, no, growled.

you let out your own noise of surprise at rupert's hands meeting your own middle. your eyes flew to his and he met them confidently with his own smirk.

"she's so wet for us," rupert said, drawing declan's attention towards your center. both of their eyes didn't leave your face as declan's hand reached out to feel for himself.

"absolutely soaking, doll," he added.

"please," you pleaded, though you weren't sure what you were asking for.

"what do you need, love?" rupert asked sweetly. his fingers replaced declan's and they teased past the hem of your panties.

"what would you like us to show you?" declan asked. it was evil, the way they seemed to suddenly team up with the purpose of torturing you. it was as if every ounce of their fighting left once your body was available to them.

"y-your mouth, please," you squeaked out, cheeks flushed both from embarrassment and pure heat. "you first," you added, gesturing to declan.

"don't mind if i do, pretty girl," he said, moving to situate himself between your legs. rupert went to move, but he couldn't help himself but watch as declan slowly removed your panties. "fucking gorgeous."

rupert moved to your side again, one of his arms propping up his body by yours, the other snaking around and entangling his fingers in your hair. he came in close and you could smell the spearmint on his breath from the gum he chewed. "i don't think i could ever tell you enough how beautiful you are," he whispered.

had it not been for declan's mouth being dangerously close to your pussy, you would've reeled at his romantic words. you hoped that your shining eyes would convey your appreciation enough. he seemed to have gotten the message and smiled as his hands moved to wrap around your back and undo your bra.

once you were fully bare before them, rupert offered the same vulnerability, moving upwards to take his pants and boxers down.

"fuck," you choked out, both at the sight before you and at declan's tongue licking a long stripe up your core.

rupert smiled and returned to your side again. "like what you see?" he asked, fingers curling under your chin. you nodded enthusiastically, as it became difficult to form words from declan's ministrations between your legs. you couldn't do much else but reach towards rupert's body, hands exploring the muscular build of his chest and shoulders and torso and everywhere. he offered the same, soft hands teasing up your sides and breasts.

declan's mouth was beginning to draw you close to the edge. he was close to making out with your pussy, and you were positive both he and you were soaked. despite the slight burn coming from his thick mustache, your back arched from the bed ever so slightly, offering rupert more surface to explore.

everything came crashing on you all at once, though, as declan's finger slowly entered you, curling up to the spot that made you shut your eyes so tight you saw swirls of color. to add to the torture, rupert's mouth had wrapped around your nipple, tongue teasing and slow.

"fuck!" you shouted. "s-so good. so good, declan." your praise egged him on further and he added a second finger. his tongue didn't let up until your thighs squeezed around his head and you came around his fingers with barely intelligible groans of his name.

reluctantly, he pulled away, leaving your hole clenching around nothing. you were correct about him being soaked. he was a vision of pure sin, nothing else. it had to have been one of the sexiest sights you'd ever see in your life.

"think you can do better than that?" declan asked.

rupert released his mouth with a pop and smirked. "of course i can." ever the gentleman, though, he looked at you first. "ready for me now, love?"

despite your better judgement telling you to breathe first, you nodded eagerly. they switched spots then, declan moving to your side. before he got comfortable, though, he stripped off his own boxers. you whimpered. how could you have possibly gotten this lucky?

rupert situated himself between your thighs and instead of diving in immediately like declan, he teased you with his fingers first. it was torturous, but so methodical, like he wanted to play you like an instrument. for a second, you watched him with lust blown eyes, before averting your attention to declan's hard cock just before you.

you felt greedy receiving all the pleasure from the two men. you looked at declan with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster and he chuckled lightly at your pleading. he inched closer, getting comfortable at your side.

"all yours, darling," he said quietly. you bit your lip and outstretched your hand. declan groaned as your skin met his and he was sure that he had never been so needy for someone before.

rupert's mouth finally fully latched on to your clit and you gasped instantly. your hand continued to stroke declan and he leant down to press a soft kiss to your forehead. his breath tickled your ear and his moans were like music. down below you, rupert's mouth worked expertly on your pussy, which was an entirely different sensation than declan's sloppy, but deliciously overwhelming mouth.

your thighs squeezed around his head, but it only made him that much more eager to please you. his tongue moved up and down, then teased your entrance. your stomach squeezed with the feeling of another orgasm coming on quickly.

"fuck, rupert. please keep going," you moaned out, arching your hips into his face further.

declan could feel himself getting closer too, but he didn't want to finish then and spend time gaining back his energy. he gained the strength to pull your hand away from him and offered a sweet kiss to your palm instead. he craned his neck down to place more kisses on your neck, and once he found a spot that seemed to draw an extra whimper from you, he bit down and sucked.

your moans were surely loud enough to hear across the countryside. it didn't matter though with the way declan and rupert were lavishing endless attention on you. it was the best you were sure you had ever felt. that knot in your stomach only grew tighter and you weren't going to last long.

rupert wasn't letting up, though. in fact, he copied declan's move and slipped two fingers in, curling them upwards over and over. with every pull, that knot tightened and tightened. if he didn't pull away, you were sure you'd pass out. he didn't though.

declan's mouth continued to leave hickeys down your neck and suddenly, waves of pleasure overtook every part of your senses. before you knew it, rupert's chest and torso were soaked.

"had to be such an overachiever and make her squirt?" declan asked, releasing from your neck with a harsh bite. you were breathing heavily, attempting to come down from the intense high you had been feeling. declan and rupert bickered quietly, before realizing that your head had lulled against the pillow.

"seems like i won that one, huh?" rupert asked, moving up the bed again to caress the hairs that had stuck along your forehead.

"oh, please," declan said. his large palm met your cheek and you looked at him with eyes that made him fall only deeper for you. "we haven't even fucked the pretty girl yet."

[badasscoffeemug]

okay, so, i tried to pull as many interviews as i could to see if i could parse what the original plan for bucktommy was (or if there even was any), and subsequently, if there had been a pivot of any kind. now, we are not privy to any bts talk, and storylines are never set in stone, even from when they've been teased or promoted (henchim friction? hello?) but interviews are really all we have to go off of. so, idk, i compiled some quotes, all bolded emphasis is mine.

i kinda got the impression that it really was supposed to be a 4-episode arc for tommy, after which he would gracefully bow out and leave buck a newly realized single bisexual. for some reason, that changed and they chose to keep him around and extend that storyline (gelled rather well in the story? opening the door for potential future storylines?). except then they had them break up anyway, leaving buck in much the same place he would have been had they called it quits in 7x06, only much more heartbroken (essentially wasting over half a season's worth of buck storyline, except he's sadder now, i guess). but, judge for yourself.

march 28, 2024, TM: Showrunner Tim Minear also teased future episodes for Tommy. “He’s going to be around for a little bit. He’s not going to be a member of the 118 again, but he is going to be involved in some stories.”

april 4, 2024, TM: “I was kind of bored with the hamster wheel of the relationships [Buck] had been in. His story needed a slap. It needed some something fresh. This felt like it could be important to some people, and it felt like it was right for the character.”

OS: “I’ve always had in my head that I wanted a partner for Buck to be someone where it wasn’t easy”

TM: “That’s what I like about this. He’s not siloed off into some love interest story with a character who has nothing to do with the main characters.”

Minear noted that Tommy is currently an important romantic partner for Buck, largely because “it’s sort of the entry-level relationship.” Yet at the same time, he noted that he doesn’t think “anybody’s making wedding plans.”

“It really is a first fling for Buck right now. What that might amount to, only time can tell. But what I’m interested in is not something that’s fraught. I’m interested in something that’s tender and positive”

april 4, 2024, OS: “The focus was on it being important, but also not wanting it to feel like the bravest episode in television. We just wanted to tell a lighthearted love story that happens to be a queer love story.”

april 5, 2024, TM: “[what] I don't want to do is the mistake that I think we've made with some of the other love interests, which is siloing those characters off into their love life and they have no kind of organic connection to the rest of the characters in the story. [...] Going with Tommy allowed us to start to play a story without just inventing a whole new character just for the purpose of being the bi character or the gay character or the male love interest for Buck.”

april 12, 2024, TM: “that moment at the end of the episode where he sits down with Tommy and says, “You said I wasn’t ready. I don’t know what I’m ready for, but I’m ready for something. I’m just sure what that is yet.” But he feels safe with Tommy. So even though he doesn’t know exactly what road he’s stepping onto, he’s willing to roll the dice.”

april 12, 2024, LFJ: "So, it happens in phases. My manager said 9-1-1 called, and I was like, 'Cool.' And then he is like, 'All right, well, they called for an arc.' And I'm like, 'Four episodes? Cool.'

"Given the circumstances, we just kissed. There's something there. We go on a date, and then Eddie happens to show up because there's only one restaurant, I guess, in L.A., and I would totally understand if he was nervous and whatnot." (this quote has nothing to do with my point really i just think it's so fucking funny. this entire interview is so messy.)

"I have no idea," he explained when asked what the future could hold for the duo. "If the writers do choose to extend this storyline and make it into its own thing [...] I'm just as excited as you are to find out."

april 12, 2024, OS: "I just hope he continues down that path and I think we will see him opening up more and more, and being louder and prouder about it. I want to tell real stories where not everything is going to be straightforward, but I don’t want the angst or the trauma to be in these kind of negative troupes that we’ve seen before. I want them to have real world problems that couples or people who are first dating have, but I don’t want it to be rooted in outside people being homophobic or anything like that. Those are stories we have seen and we’ve told, and sure, of course, happen in the real world, but I want to tell a happy story between these people and a real story. They have issues and they have things to deal with, but I just want them to be real world, everyday relationship issues."

april 18, 2024, OS: "we want to tell it in an honest way where not everything is going to be easy and carefree. There are going to be issues, but we also don't want it to feel like it's down or too heavy. We want to tell this queer love story in a very honest way, but also in a very loving way."

"Tarlos is a beautiful relationship," Stark says. "I'm just honored to get to tell a story that can kind of partner up with that and maybe continue with a similar thread."

"I really want to see Buck continue to explore what it is that really speaks to him, and what he's into," Stark says. "He's obviously going to continue down this path with Tommy for now. I don't know what that story is going to end up being, but I would really like for Tommy to stay a part of Buck's life, regardless. He's obviously opened this door for him, and I think it would be really nice if [Tommy] was able to continue to hold [Buck's] hand and could help guide him through this process. As somebody who's a little older and more experienced, to kind of help shepherd Buck into this new phase of understanding who he is."

april 23, 2024, OS: “I really enjoy [Lou]. I really enjoy working with him. I think he’s been a great addition to the show, and I look forward to — assuming Tommy sticks around for a while — continuing to develop that relationship with him on-screen and off-screen.”

may 2, 2024, JLH: "I’m really excited for Buck, because I think he’s a person that has never quite settled into who he is. And if this is who he is, it’s beautiful,” Hewitt said. “I was so happy Maddie felt that way, because that’s how I would feel. And I’m really happy that she’s there for him. In Season 8, the actor hopes Maddie gets to “understand what all that means, be in that with [Buck], and get to know Tommy better.”

may 3, 2024, KC: “I think it was the brilliance of [co-creator] Tim [Minear]. Even introducing the storyline of Buck and Tommy, he said, "I don't want it to be this very special episode of 9-1-1. I'm going to make this a f---ing romantic comedy, man. You won't see it coming. It'll come out of left field." And I think that's the same thing he did with the revelation. There's no sit down, there's no big discussion or talk about it. It's what it would be. This guy has found love fina…. Well, I think love finally.”

may 3, 2024, KC: "When I heard about the storyline, I was super excited. And on a selfish note, I'm really happy because they brought Lou Ferrigno Jr. back. We've become really good friends, as he was in "Hen Begins," "Bobby Begins Again," and of course "Chimney Begins," and we formed a tight personal bond. I think he's a terrific actor, and I think this new dynamic brings this newfound energy into that storyline and into the show, and I'm excited to see how it blossoms."

not dated? post-7x06, KC: “It’s one of my favorite scenes,” Choi says. “It’s a reveal for most of the characters that Buck has found a love interest he’s actually interested in. It’s adorable, it’s cute, it’s perfect, and the audience is going to love it.”

OS: Stark likens Buck’s journey to “a hamster wheel”: “He’s been taking one step forward and two steps back, as is quite typical of being in your late 20s and early 30s, trying to find yourself,” the actor explains. “As we’ve moved into this seventh season, he’s found a way to really discover who he wants to be.”

july 8, 2024: 7x09 deleted scene released

september 9, 2024, TM: “They’re still getting to know each other a little better”

september 11, 2024, TM: Minear says not much time has passed between the events of the season 7 finale and the season 8 premiere, so there haven't been many developments in Buck and Tommy's relationship. "But we see that they're more comfortable together," he explains. "We'd definitely call them a couple. Obviously they're comfortable hanging out with Eddie, but when you couple with somebody, it takes up some of your time, so that also leaves Eddie a little bit out in the cold. Well, not out in the cold, but Buck doesn't have as much free time as he did before, let's put it that way." (yeah so, this barely happened?)

september 20, 2024, OS: “We don’t really have too much of a time jump moving into this season, so the relationship with Tommy is much where it was left off,” explains Stark. “It is in its early stages. They’re still learning and figuring things out about each other and what a relationship might or could look like.”

[elliespectacular]

Hello,

My appology in advance, as I'm not familiar at all with actually using Tumblr, but it seems that's the last source of news since you quitted Twitter (for understandable reasons).

Just wanted to know if your current projects have changed since I noticed you were less active on the Dathings youtube channel.

Regardless, I still intend to keep supporting you, even if by a small amount.

Have a nice day!

Thanks for asking! So basically, I needed to take on some warehouse work back in October to make ends meet 'cause tax payments were adding up and things were getting scary. I took an informal break from DaThings while I was working that job, and since it was a seasonal position I left after the holidays.

Since then I've started like 5 or 6 YTP projects with promising ideas that just didn't end up going anywhere. I do have one bigger project that I'm actively working on but I'm trying to go about it casually rather than let scope creep get the best of me. It doesn't feel good to spend so many months with so little to show, but I'm trying to be kind to myself about it. I'd rather take my time and make something everyone can be happy with rather than force something half-assed to fill the gap.

It's been difficult to get back into the YTP headspace ever since the Forklift video. It's likely a combination of burnout, real-life stress, and having an abundance of distractions. Taxes hit hard again this year so if all goes according to plan I'll be back in the warehouse this summer.

I'm still pretty active on Twitch if you want to keep up with me outside of YTP. Obviously the financial support of my viewers is never an expectation, especially during times like this where I'm not putting much out and everybody's kinda Going Through It. Still it's a big help and keeps things steady for me, so I appreciate it very much <3

[tornoleander]

Finally Ironed out some ninja designs! I Usually don’t share references but with the behind the scenes stuff I’m doing on my Skybound project I don’t have much else I can share yet.

There is a few headcanon/ Fic stuff in references and powers and the all ninja shot is for first part of Skybound project.

I can share Skybound project Updates! I’m making lots of progress! Trying to focus on p1 stuff so I can put full force into the p2 stuff!

|

V

P1 may be ready Summer? 2025

My Skybound talk Video:

* God I have so much to ramble about just when I think I covered something a new angle gets me

* How TF am I supposed to sanely transition from the wholesome reasons I love this season into the horribly problem stuff. Sigh*

* Actually studying videos covering serious topics to navigate how to word things.

* I have to stop drawing so much art for everything or no one will ever see this video.

* The desire to animate my character lipsinking to me is an evolutionary disadvantage I will resist.

Cannon compliant Animatic:

* Song is Ironed out fought a while adding voice lines and I’m way more excited than I thought I’d be for this animatic because I thought it would be overshadowed by how strongly I feel about the other 2. But damn.

* I’m storyboarding after like my life depends on it rn

* Really trying to capture Nya’s character Ark which sent me right back to the video script because I remembered that one reddit post calling her a bitch and rage wrote for 2 hours.

* I am determined to make people see how good her character arc actually is.

* Throwing Jay shade in this one lol he was kinda awful even with being manipulated.

* Trying to convey clear Ideas and story through art is pain but also addicting.

* This is meant as a leading to both part two animatics, but bbnb Kai is shorter than wytyaa Kai. The difference is significant everything else pre dinner with Nadakhan is the same. The other head cannons are almost aligned as far as I know. It’s JUST Kai. What do I do with him?!? Lmao Might just distance him from the other ninja so you can’t tell how tall he is. Thank goodness he is the most gullible and first to wish it all away

P2 out like December if I’M lucky TT

Even though I should focus on first things first, I can’t help myself. these fics have lived rent free in my brain for like 2 years and despite plans shifting the excitement of drawing the story I read and put to music in my head is a force of nature. Thanks Adhd

Wytyaa:

* I storyboarded about half the scenes I want to. Songs are decided but a few parts I’m waiting for the rest of the story for.

* I think I’m going to mess with color palette. I really want to capture the emotion and intensity. I’m learning the full potential of my art and

* I need Final ch released for maping out the second half.

* BUT I AM NOT READY TO READ IT @mondothebombo And from what you told me I don’t think I’ll be able to finish P1 by then. cries*

* I wanna capture the feeling reading wytyaa.

* May make my wytyaa specific refs so I can make animatic art I can post early.

Bbnb

* It’s all storyboarded and half animated

* Thinking about redoing most the earlier stuff, consistency has been a problem

* Also was to mess with colors, dark backgrounds and intense colors.

* I fought with my ref forever to find good enough lightning scar colors cause figuring out the right amount of contrast is pain.

* So now I want to redraw my bbnb scar references a third time.

* May draw other bbnb specific refs so I can make some art for the animatic I can post here early or on on my old A03 book

If you have Any questions feel free to leave an ask! I answer all eventually sometimes I do save em up though so if I didn’t answer something yet, Sorry I will get to you.

[peachhcs]

wait dying or hear about hannah and james’s sneaky link era and how they were kinda just hooking up (and developing feelings) all through first sem and then maybe hannah goes with samy to world juniors for a little bit and then it finally hits hannah - like i really like him. james’s like took ya long enough. bonus points for a gold medal game tipsy kiss!!

UGH wait this might be two parts bc i wanna do a fic about their sneaky link era and how they snuck around their friends when they were trying to figure out what they are (me when this is such an old ask ugh im sorry)

making out, sexual tension, slight implications of sex (but nothing actually happens)

lmk if we want part 2!

au masterlist | part 2

hannah followed samy into the sophomore house, the loud music filling her ears that they could hear from down the street and now was at full volume when they got inside. it wasn’t often that hannah went out to boston with samy, so the sophomore hockey house scene was new to hannah, but it also honestly just felt like they were at a frat party back home.

the house wasn’t overly packed or anything, but it was full with familiar and unfamiliar faces. hannah only really knew the dev program boys, so all of the other hockey faces she saw were somewhat unrecognizable. she followed samy’s lead, watching how the brunette said hi to almost everyone she saw as they tried finding one of the guys. it must’ve been because she was will’s girl and everyone knew her last year too.

hannah’s gaze drifted around, not necessarily looking for anyone specific, but the small thought in the back of her mind wondered if she would see him here tonight. she knew he was close with gabe and ryan, so he definitely got an invite.

there was possibly another reason why hannah came out to boston. they didn’t have any actual plans to see one another, but if they happened to run into one another then…well..one thing might lead to another..

as the girls got further in and passed into the kitchen, that’s when everyone came into view. ryan and gabe were up against one end of the counter laughing and talking and then when hannah swept her gaze to the other end she finally saw him and she could’ve sworn her heart skipped a beat for a second.

samy was going to gabe and ryan with hannah in tow. she knew she couldn’t be obvious with this. they weren’t even official. hell, they didn’t even know what they were. she put on a smile for gabe and ryan who embraced samy first.

“glad you made it over!” the boys cheered and their voices finally caught the attention of the other side of the kitchen.

that’s when james’ glance snapped towards hannah only 10 feet away from him exchanging hello’s with gabe and ryan. his own heart skipped a beat seeing her in person since almost a month and a half months ago.

“wow you really meant it when you said people liked your parties,” samy began but hannah drowned out their voices fairly quickly. she could feel james’ eyes on her and she didn’t know how obvious it would be if she looked over again.

surely it wouldn’t be, right? everyone was friends here and it wouldn’t be weird to look in their direction.

she turned her head and james met her gaze first. they spoke with their eyes—glances sliding across one another and that little spark quickly igniting.

they’ve only seen each other once since summer ended. he and teddy went with gabe, ryan, aram, drew, vote, and fowler to michigan before their season really started and..maybe one or two things happened that weekend, but they still didn’t know what they were. anytime it came up, hannah backed off and shut him out. james could never get any further no matter how hard he tried.

“have some drinks, whatever. we’ll be around if you need anything,” gabe said and the girls nodded. samy pulled them to the drink counter which was even closer to where james and teddy were still lingering—james not really listening to what teddy had to say anymore.

hannah tried so hard to keep her gaze on the drinks and attention on samy as she explained what she was making them. it was all so, so hard though when all the girl could feel was james watching her and how much she wanted to look back at him.

maybe having some alcohol in her system would calm the crazy nerves she felt and samy was pretty damn good at making drinks.

“you guys want anything more?” samy snapped her gaze to the younger hockey players a few feet away. hannah took that as her chance to look again, watching the way james and teddy exchanged a glance.

“yeah sure,” the taller brunette said causally and used that as an excuse to step into their bubble.

hannah’s heartbeat picked up when she felt james’ presence stand a little closer to her while he played it off as watching samy make more drinks.

in the small space that was left between the two teenagers, james’ free hand drifted towards hannah’s on the counter. he stretched his pinky out and the quick touch nearly made the girl jump out of her skin.

to anyone else, they wouldn’t even be able to tell, but to hannah and james their hearts were racing.

“here ya go!” samy beamed, passing two new cups to the freshman boys.

“thanks hughes,” teddy grinned and in a flash, samy was pulling hannah away from the kitchen to mingle leaving james and teddy there.

—

through the entire night, james and hannah kept catching each other’s glances from across the room. they’d always be in eyesight of one another and hannah definitely knew james had his eyes on her like a hawk in case any guy tried to talk her up.

most of these guys knew hannah though because of her brothers and when you had brothers in the league, it was unspoken that any sisters or siblings were off limits. the guys weren’t the problem. it was their egos that were getting in the way of breaking any barrier.

when the night started winding down and gabe and ryan began kicking people out besides closer friends things started happening.

“i mean i’m not that tired. let’s catch up. play some cards or something,” drew suggested when others wondered what else they could do.

no one objected so the group filed around the kitchen table. they had to fit together pretty tightly considering all the people needing to sit and james happened to take the seat right next to hannah, of course.

he flashed her a quick, easy smile. the brunette couldn’t help her flush and hoped no one else noticed.

the group of them eased into a game of uno that everyone claimed wouldn’t be high stakes but they all knew by the end someone would end up fighting with someone else about losing one too many times. for now though, it was slow and they used it to really catch up without sounds of a party going on around them.

hannah was oddly quiet and she was guessing it was because of james sitting right beside her and his knee inches away from her own. she couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that their elbows occasionally bumped together.

“you excited for your season, han?” drew grabbed her attention when he nudged her arm from her other side.

“i am. nervous, but excited,” the brunette nodded.

“hey, you’re gonna do great. they already love you. even more after those olympic gold medals,” aram grinned.

“so fucking cool still. you’re gonna sweep your season. samy will win ncaa’s. we’ll sweep. it’s gonna be great,” ryan nodded and everyone laughed.

james finally found it in him to make a move. he tipped his chair back, rocking on the back two legs like a rocking chair where he used hannah’s chair as leverage so he didn’t tip all the way back. his fingers brushed her upper back, an electric feeling running across her skin.

when he came back down, his arm stretched further across her chair and stayed there like he had a protective arm around her.

no one else seemed to really notice the action.

now that james’ arm was on the back of her chair, his fingers could trace down her shoulder in a way that he knew always drove her crazy.

he finally found her gaze again, a small, quick wink. the girl flushed and then her gaze shot to make sure no one saw. everyone was too invested in the uno game.

as the night went on and everyone got a little more wasted, things started picking up. drew was on a role with 5 wins and he was about to take his 6th with one care left. everyone was scrambling to make sure he didn’t win again.

“someone put a fucking card down that isn’t a green or a five!” gabe exclaimed.

“you better save us, han,” james nudged her arm when he put down a green card. drew was shaking his head on her other side while the girl examined her options in her deck.

the alcohol definitely made both of them more confident because under the table were their legs tangled together and hannah was becoming a bit more comfortable as her walls came down the more alcohol she put into her system to wash away her anxiety.

“come on hannah, please!” gabe begged.

“maybe it’s not even a green or 5 he has!” fowler pointed out and drew just shrugged.

hannah decided on the +4. she looked at drew and tried reading what color he did have and what she needed to choose so he didn’t put it down and win.

“new color is..blue,” she decided and everyone watched in anticipation of drew’s next move.

he sighed and reached his hand to the pile to take four cards. the boys jumped up in victory.

“ha! ha! take that!” aram exclaimed and then it started turning into slight chaos.

the boys disregarded their cards to tussle up one another. the alcohol had definitely run it's course and now the boys were wasted enough to start play fighting. aram and drew fake tackled one another on the ground while the others cheered and encouraged them on. this new distraction was the perfect opportunity for james and hannah to step away.

the brunette stood up and eyed the girl, nodding his head towards one of the bathrooms. she glanced at everyone else who's gaze wasn't even on them anymore. she chanced it and followed the boy down the hallway.

he took them into the bathroom and as soon as hannah was inside and the door was closed, james' lips were on hers without a second thought. she gripped his chin, instincts taking over as the kiss deepened.

"i missed you," the boy hummed when they pulled apart, forehead resting against her own.

"i missed you too," hannah admitted and it was true. she did miss him. james placed her lips back on hers and this time his hands held her waist flush against his own.

they were now just making out in the bathroom in hopes that none of the guys would come looking for them. this was usually what happened. they'd take awhile to warm up to one another, but when they did everything spilled out at once.

"wanted to tell you how good you looked, but i never got the chance until now," the gymnast flushed at his words.

"i'm flattered. you don't look too bad yourself," she cheesed.

they were now going to dance around that weird line they’d been walking for months. hannah knew what james wanted. she could see it in his eyes, but she just couldn’t bring herself to cross it. she didn’t know what it was in her, but anytime she thought about making whatever they were doing official, it scared her.

that scary feeling was starting to creep its way up her system the longer the hockey player watched her, but when he kissed her again all of those feelings went away.

they were wrapped up in one another and hands started wandering on their own accord. their breaths were airy and ragged the harder and faster they started unraveling each other. james tore his shirt off and hannah’s own disappeared at their feet.

“you’re beautiful,” the boy mumbled while his lips dipped lower.

he brushed across the tops of her boobs before kissing her stomach. hannah’s hands tangled in his hair, biting her lip to keep from any sounds escaping. the girl strangled a groan wanting his lips everywhere but knowing neither of them could have marks on their skin during the season.

“shit,” hannah cursed, her head thumping against the door.

james slid back up to his feet where he captured her lips in his again. they worked desperately against one another, the need pouring from their mouths and body language. hannah could feel his excitement against her thigh and that electric feeling she felt earlier when he brushed his fingers across her back returned. she wanted this so bad and it was no doubt that james wanted it too.

they didn’t get much further though when a knock on the door snapped them apart so fast james nearly fell over the toilet while hannah grabbed the handle before it opened.

“who’s in here?” it was ryan. fuck.

“just me. sorry lean. i had to pee,” hannah spoke faster than she could think. the boy outside the door paused for a moment.

“okay, sorry. didn’t know where you went,” ryan mumbled and they listened as his footsteps retreated.

the two scrambled to get their shirts back on knowing if she didn’t come out, they’d grow even more suspicious.

“i’m gonna walk out and then you wait 5 more minutes,” hannah whispered and james nodded.

she cracked the door open, checking to see if anyone was lingering before shuffling her way back to the main room.

“there you are. was looking for you,” samy jumped onto her friend where hannah braved her best smile.

“sorry, i got distracted on my phone while peeing,” hannah laughed it off.

“that’s so you,” drew snickered.

“we should probably head out soon. this was super fun and i’m really glad i got to see all of you,” samy began saying goodbye.

hannah heard the bathroom door open again and james appeared at her side a moment later. she struggled to keep her eyes off of him.

“party over already?” he jumped back into the group seamlessly.

“where’ve you been?” aram raised his eyebrow at the younger boy.

“my mom called me,” james excused himself and aram seemed to buy it, but hannah saw teddy’s look and she knew he didn’t buy it. the younger boy glanced at his friend and then her, a curious and confused look on his features.

her face burned so she quickly jumped in to hug gabe to hide that blush.

“good seeing you, duker. tell tyler i said hi,” gabe beamed.

“will do, gp. good seeing you too,” she chuckled.

once the girls ran through everyone and james gave hannah a tighter hug than usual, they said goodbye and climbed into the uber back to their hotel. hannah’s phone buzzed in her hand five minutes later.

james

good seeing you

hope it will be sooner than a month when i see you again because im gonna be thinking about what we were doing for awhile

the girl’s face burned and she turned her phone off before samy saw. she had no idea how to even get out of whatever her and james were stuck in and that conversation seemed way too scary to hannah to even have.

[luluu2424]

I don't like Isha because she feels more like a plot device than a character

I'm never going to beat the "I Hate Isha" allegations. Oh, well.

I do mean what I said when I say she feels like a weird last minute writing decision. Like, it's weird that the characters didn't talk about her and her Elfen Lied shock value death right? Also, yes I'm comparing Arcane season 2 to Elfen Lied, that's what season 2 deserves.

those of you lucky enough to have never seen Elfen Lied probably want some context. Fare. Content Warning: Elfen Lied has graphic Violence and Sexual violent situations, don't look into it unless you want to ruin your day. It's an Anime/Manga series about Lucy, a woman with horns and telekinetic powers that also has Jekyll n Hyde split personalities. She's believed to be the next step in evolution and there's a big government conspiracy to find her. There's also a lot of underage nudity and over-the-top violence. Yeah... It also allegedly inspired Stranger things. Go figure.

One thing the story was infamous for was introducing super cute big eyed characters that they barely develop, just kill them off violently(the puppy, number 3, Kisaragi, Mariko and her clones, Kanae, and Aiko) and then use their deaths as motivation for other characters(usually Lucy.) Isha definitely had more character development than the average Elfen Lied character, but it still shouldn't be this easy to make the comparison.

With all that in mind it's such a weird writing choice that only Jinx is mourning her/actually acknowledging her death. You're telling me that we don't get to see Sevika, the woman who saved Isha's life once, mourning her. Or Vi, the woman who spent several days with Isha at the commune, and the fact that her life was put in danger was the reason she went against Caitlyn. Or Caitlyn doesn't have anything to say about the fact her friend Jayce's decision to shoot a hole in Viktor's chest was what indirectly lead to Isha's death.

She also about half the time feels like one big plot device to get the characters from Point A to B. "We need Jinx to mellow out for a bit? Let's give her kid to befriend. Don't you know randomly befriending kids cures mental illnesses." "We need a reason for Vi and Cait to not kill Jinx long enough for Sevika to finish the grey plan? Let's have Isha human shield herself for Jinx. It will completely remove any likeablity Cait had left after she gassed Zaun and pressured Vi into becoming an Enforcer, but whatever." Also, it's interesting that Isha human shielding herself for Jinx didn't get brought up more. If I was Vi or Cait, I'd question if Jinx put her up to that as a distraction so Sevika could redirect the grey.

Finally, I want to talk about Isha's muteness. Now I kinda hate how ableist some people can be when talking about her disability. Like, I view Isha as a plot device because the writers wrote her that way. Some bigots online view her as a plot device just because she's mute. As if you can't write compelling mute characters. That being said, the show's choice to kill her and every other disabled character off except Princess Warcriminal is... not great. I genuinely worry about how the writers feel about disabled characters. "Was Isha just written in as a tool for Jinx to vent her feelings?" People use the fact that she's mute to say things like that, and their kinda not wrong, but also, Isha almost never even signs back against Jinx either. She'd still just be Jinx's fangirl cosplayer even if she could talk.

By the way, I'm not disabled myself. If you are and had a problem with the way I talked about that aspect of Isha, your more than free to call me out on it in the comments. God knows more people should've done that in the critique videos I've watched.

[mama2bears]

No Christmas Vacation - Part 1

Pairings: Tyler Owens/Reader

Summary: You and Tyler are dating. He takes you for a romantic get away for Christmas, but will the weather interfere with your plans?

Warnings: None yet.

“Good morning, beautiful.” Tyler kisses your neck softly.

“Do we have to get up now?” you muttered rolling over to face him.

“Yeah, remember, today is the day that I am taking you on our Christmas vacation.”

With that, you smiled, sitting up in bed. Tyler had told you a few weeks ago that he wanted to take you away for Christmas. Ever since then, you had tried to get him to tell you where, but he wouldn't budge. He only told you to pack for cold. It didn't matter where you went, you were looking forward to the trip. You were looking forward to getting away for a few days.

“I made you breakfast in bed before we get started.” he said, reaching over to the nightstand and handing you a tray with pancakes, sausage, and coffee.

“That smells amazing, Ty.” You award him with a tender kiss. You met Tyler three years ago when you moved to Arkansas to follow a career in meteorology and storm chasing. Your first thought was that Tyler Owens was a cocky, reckless redneck who only wanted to be a YouTube star. It didn't take you long though to see the tender side of this cowboy tornado wrangler. He was the guy running into debris to find dogs, playing ball with a child in mist of total destruction. Tyler was both tough and tender.

“So, are you going to tell me where we are going yet?”

“Nope.” he grinned.

“How will I know if we have everything packed we need? What if it's warm? Is it going to snow? We aren't going to be chasing tornadoes, are we?” you groaned. It was two days before Christmas and while it wasn't exactly common to have tornadoes in the winter, it certainly wasn't impossible. You loved storm chasing as much as Tyler did, but not on Christmas.

“Well, we didn't pack for every season, but I think cold weather clothes will be all we need. I don't plan on any tornadoes either.”

“Well, at least you can tell me if we are driving or flying.” you said between bites of your pancake.

“Flying.” Tyler answered “...in a plane.” he added.

“No? Really? And here I thought you were superman.” you grinned.

“Maybe I am.” he winked at you.

After breakfast was over, Tyler took your tray, “I'll get our suitcases in the truck and load the dishwasher.” he offered, giving you time to take a shower and get dressed.

* * * * *

“You know, I am going to kinda miss our Christmas tree and decorations.” you say, making one more check on the door to make sure it locked and alarm set before walking to the truck. Tyler opens the door for you, “Does the hotel have a Christmas tree?” you ask getting in.

“Something like that.” he grinned.

It only took you about half an hour to get to the airport, but with the holiday crowd all traveling it took hours to get though security. Finally you make it though the airport check point and are loading the plane. Tyler still hasn't told you where you were going, but you knew you would find out soon enough.

“Welcome aboard.” a flight attendant was saying. You listened to the normal safety measures to take and then finally, “We'll be arriving in Oneida Wisconsin in about two hours. We expect fair weather.”

“Oneida Wisconsin?” you question. “What's there?”

“Well...” Tyler said sitting back in his seat, “Oneida is just the closest airport to fly into. I'll have a rental car waiting for us and then we're driving up to White Lake. We have a little secluded cabin on the lake for the next week.”

“Ty..that sounds amazing!” you squeeze his hand a little tighter as the plane takes off.

“Still nervous about flying?” he asked.

“30,000 feet is a long way to fall if something goes wrong.” you mutter.

A few hours later the plane landed safely and Tyler had collected the suitcases from the luggage claim area and was now loading it in the rental car, which wasn't a car, but a Dodge Ram truck. He always had to have a Dodge, even on vacation.

You were flipping though the radio station when you stopped on a weather report, “and we are expecting a White Christmas this year. White Lake is expected to get up to five inches of snow.”

“Did you know about this?” you asked.

Right now the day was sunny and warm...well, at least 75 and humid was warm for Wisconsin in middle of December.

“Not until yesterday, I didn't. They just started calling for snow.” he smiled, “But the cabin is going to be stock with everything we need. It even has a hot tub and fireplace.”Do you wanna build a snow man? Come on let's go and play...” Tyler started singing, making you laugh.

“This is going to be the perfect weekend.” you smile, staring out the window as the houses gave way to tall forest.

“Yes...yes it is.” Tyler smile, patting the small box that was in his jacket pocket.

“We're here.” he said turning down a small dirt road which ran for a few miles though the woods. Finally, a small wooden cabin perched on a lake came into view. A dock went out from the front yard and a small boat was tied to the dock.

As Tyler parked, you could see the cabin's porch had garland and Christmas lights wrapped around it, there was also Christmas lights running down the dock and a wreath was hung on the door and every window.

Tyler carried the bags to the cabin and entered the code that was given to him for the lock, opening the door.

“It's beautiful Ty,” you pull him into a hug. It was a one story one bedroom cabin. The living room had a brown leather sofa facing a fire place with a big screen TV hung above it. In the corner was a tall tree all decorated, completed with a star on top. The fresh smell of pine filled the room.

“Merry Christmas Darling,” Tyler kissed you softly, then picked up the bags, heading towards the bedroom, then stops in the door way, “Hey, Darling...come here.” he smiles, dropping the bags on the floor and pulls you into a long, slow, deep kiss.

“What did I do to deserve that?” you asked, eyes dancing with excitement.

He kisses you again and points up, to the mistletoe hang above the doorway. “Rules are rules...gotta kiss every time we pass though the door.”

“So, cowboy, what do you have planned for us first?” you grin.

“Well..since today is so warm, I thought maybe we could take the boat out?” he offered and paused, looking towards the bed, “unless you had something else in mind.”

“Oh..tempting, very tempting.” you kissed him, and lead him back towards the living room, “However, I think I'll choose take the boat out, but when we come back.” she winked, “Well, let's just see what happens.”

Tyler went into the kitchen to find that the cabin owner had stalked it well, as agreed, including a chilled bottle of wine. He fixed some sandwiches and grabbed the wine and a couple of glasses, checking his pocket again to make sure the little box was still there. He put the food and wine in a wicker basket, grabbed a blanket off of the sofa, “Ready” he asked, almost unable to contain his excitement.

You laugh at him, following him out the door, “What is so exciting about a boat ride?” you ask. The way he was acting you would have thought that he was chasing a F5 tornado.

“Come on, you'll see!” he was practically skipping down the dock and you couldn't help but laugh. One thing about Tyler Owens was that he had a way of making your heart soar. When you were with him, you were carefree. He had a way of showing you joy in every moment.

[nolita-fairytale]

don't you worry, there's still time | chef luca x fem!reader, feat. marcus brooks

summary: after losing his mother, marcus searches for joy and stillness in copenhagen. you and luca, who are more than happy to host, decide to take a big next step in your relationship. a oneshot from the world of 'burn your life down.'

warnings: fluff, light angst, grief, death, light smut, second person pov, swearing, danish inaccuracies, off-canon connection to the storyline of the bear.

word count: 5.8k

listen to: the playlist

a/n: wow, i missed this world! who is ready for the reveal of chef's restaurant name?! while i don't think i have the bandwidth to write another full series (nor a linear story to tell) i'm thinking of creating a second part to 'burn your life down' where we just get to drop in and see what they're up to. thoughts??

chef luca masterlist | full masterlist

After a tumultuous holiday season, it doesn’t take long for Sydney to realize that her friend is in need of a little help. A reprieve, she so kindly explained to both Marcus and Carmy when she’d proposed the idea. 

It was Sydney this time, who called Luca, knowing that she and Carmy would have to find something to do with Marcus. It wasn’t fair – that he’d lost his mom just before Thanksgiving – and they both agreed that Marcus needed to get out of dodge. Quick to act, Carmy set up a few stages in NYC for a week or so, which, while seemed to inspire Marcus, seemed to only plunge him further into a slump come Christmas. “I don’t know. I think we gotta send him on some kinda… eat, pray, love trip. The guy can only sulk on my couch for so long before I consider jumping out of the window,” Sydney says, her attempt to lighten the mood with humor still genuine. “It’s getting sad, Carm. Like… real fuckin’ sad.”

“You’re right. Uh… what about Copenhagen?” Carmy pitches with a shrug, because he knows what all consuming grief feels like. 

“Again?” she asks, uncertain of whether it’s the best choice that they could make. 

“Yeah,” Carmy shrugs in response. “Think he got a lot of it last time. Could be good for him to go back to somewhere familiar… work with Luca again. You don’t think it’s a-?”

“No I do! I just-,” Sydney hesitates, though she knows her business partner makes a good point. “Familiarity will be good for him. To be around people he can trust.”

“You want me to uh-,” Carmy begins to offer, figuring he’ll make the call. 

“Probably best if I explain the situation. Just ‘cause, you know, I know more of what’s going on… just send me his info and I’ll call later,” Sydney interjects. 

Carmy agrees with a curt nod before adding in:

“Uh… okay yeah. Yeah.”

*

You get plenty of time to prepare for Marcus’ visit, performing all kinds of fancy footwork to arrange a proper visit – a week’s worth of time spent staging and living in Copenhagen. When Luca finds out that the prolific houseboat, a chef retreat of sorts that’s always been an option for lodging, is booked for the week and a half that Marcus plans on visiting, you offer up your place without hesitation. 

The arrangement goes as follows: while Marcus stays at yours at no cost, you’ll stay with Luca for the duration of the time. 

This is how you find yourself at the massive Ikea on Dybbølsbro on a Saturday morning with Luca, in search of a set of fresh bed linens intended for guests. 

“I really should host more. And Astrid said she and Lina were planning a trip out here so… why not kill two birds with one stone?” you’d reasoned to your boyfriend, making a strong case for why you and Luca should make this little shopping trip. 

“What do you think of the blue?” Luca asks you, as you run your hand over a set of the display sheets, checking for softness. 

“Don’t know if the blue is what I’m going for. I was thinking of something warmer. Maybe a yellow or… I don’t know. I’ve kind of been into that trendy rust color as of late,” you reply with a shrug, moving onto the warmer colors. 

Luca chuckles and with a small shake of his head, he clarifies his previous questions with:

“No, I meant for me.”

“What do you mean?” you ask him curiously, his comment pulling all of your focus as you search his face for answers. “You just got new bedding.” 

And expensive ones too. 

But as your eyes follow his gaze, you realize that he’s not talking about sheets, focused on the XL Twin-sized duvets just above where the sheets messily fall along the shelf. 

“I was thinking…” Luca trails off, checking in with you before he continues, with “... maybe it’s time I get two duvets… you know… for us.” He takes a beat, and a step towards you, and you know you’ll never stand a chance against his boyish charm as one side of his mouth turns up into a smile. 

You’re no stranger to the Scandinavian duvet method – two twin duvets for one king sized bed – but it sounds like Luca’s suggestion is about way more than buying an extra duvet on this trip. 

“I want you to feel at home… at my place."

“I do,” you reply, almost instantly, a warmth spreading through your belly as you take a step towards him. 

“But I mean really… feel like it’s your home. Because it is. It could be. You know… if you want it to be,” Luca continues, this time with more insistence, a look of hopefulness in his deep blue eyes. 

“Are you… are you asking me to move in with you?” you manage to get out, your heart skipping a beat. 

“Why not? We could use this week to try it out,” he suggests so casually that you practically have to do a double take. “See how it goes while Marcus stays at your place?”

“Yeah I-... that sounds like a good plan, yeah,” you stammer out, the grin on your face undeniable as you nod enthusiastically in the middle of a goddamn furniture store. 

“Besides,” Luca says, clearing his throat as his tone changes to one that’s much more playful. “You’re an absolute blanket hog and a repeat offender at that.” Luca winks your way as you roll your eyes with a laugh in response. “This could prevent some of our silly little quarrels, don’t you think, love?” 

“Uh huh,” you sound, your face skeptical as you look his way again. “Preventative measures. Sure, babe.”

Luca chuckles before leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips, right then and there, in the Ikea bed linen section, the place you’ll now forever think of as the place your boyfriend asked you to move in with him.

Connection

When Marcus arrives in Copenhagen, you’ve arranged your home with the most comfort in mind, having already packed a week’s worth of things and left for Luca’s. You can only imagine what he must be going through, deciding that something like that – losing your mother – though inevitable, is your goddamn worst nightmare. 

“Marcus, 

Enjoy your stay and please reach out if you need anything. I can’t wait to meet you!”

…is the note that you leave him, along with a few morning pastries you picked up from your favorite baggeri across the street, and your number scribbled down at the bottom of the notepad. 

As Marcus arrives, his eyes drawn immediately to your note and gift, Marcus smiles to himself, noticing that you left a very nice looking bottle of wine on the counter as well. He’s moved by your generosity, considering you’ve never met, and the fact that you’re willing to take so much care, extend this much kindness to a stranger, causes a wave of softness to wash over him. 

Maybe, just maybe, he can find softness again – the last few months riddled with pain, grief, and numbness to get through the days. 

While he came here to work, encouraged by his friends that a change of scenery may do his broken heart some good, it’s the first time Marcus has had a chance to be still. His feelings of grief sit heavier here and it catches him off guard, uncertain that he’s quite ready to sit with them yet. He pushes aside the thought, focusing on exploring your home and unpacking his bags. Marcus knows how to stay busy – he’s become an expert at it by now – reminding himself that he’s got work at 5 am sharp tomorrow.

*

“A little too much, chef. Take it down by about 15 grams,” Luca directs, his voice even and sure as he inspects the balls of dough that Marcus currently shapes. 

“Yes, chef,” Marcus nods in understanding, plopping the ball of dough back on the scale to adjust the measurement. 

The two of them work like this for the rest of the morning, Luca treading carefully while keeping things professional, while Marcus buries himself in the work – something that feels good, safe, right. 

He’s missed this. While Marcus has one chef he works with directly at the restaurant, he’s the expert – the head patissier. He misses being surrounded by excellence, getting to be a student of someone who is just as driven, if not more, and inspired. It’s good, quiet, calm, yet there’s a focus and intensity in Luca’s kitchen that feels like a breath of fresh air. 

His stage trip to New York has been more of a mess than beneficial. Maybe it had been the chaos of the city, or the chaos of the chefs he was working with. Maybe it was the fact that Marcus, though hungry for a distraction, hadn’t quite been ready to walk directly into the line of fire yet.

As Marcus’ practiced hands move with the dough, there’s a newfound confidence in the way that he works that's not lost on Luca. Luca watches his friend carefully, pride swelling in his chest as his mentee makes the adjustment with ease and diligence.

“Can I join you?” Luca asks, gesturing towards Marcus' workstation. 

“‘Course, chef,” Marcus replies, his response short yet reverent. 

As Luca joins him, finding a space to the right of Marcus, he busies his hands with rolling each perfectly measured ball of dough into mini boules, ready to proof. The two of them work quietly, side by side, the air between them heavy with words unsaid. He can feel it – the weight that lays so heavily on Marcus' heart – but Luca doesn’t want to bring it up, uninterested in forcing the conversation. Especially about something so painful, something he knows that Marcus has barely begun working through. 

“Thanks, again. For uh… you know… letting me come work,” Marcus begins, momentarily checking in with Luca to gauge a reaction. 

“‘Course,” Luca replies, his answer instantaneous. “You’re welcome here any time, mate.” 

“Yeah?” Marcus asks, stealing a glance in Luca’s direction.

“Yeah,” Luca responds with a certain nod. 

“And uh… shit. I can’t thank your girlfriend enough for letting me crash at her place,” Marcus adds, as he works through his discomfort and overwhelm from the wave of feelings that begin to bubble up in his chest.

“You can thank her yourself on Saturday,” Luca brings up, excited over the fact that Marcus will not only be meeting his girlfriend, but staging at her restaurant too. “She’s really looking forward to meeting you.” 

Marcus nods slowly, his hands the only steady thing about him as he continues to focus on his work. 

“I just mean-, well, she didn’t have to-. ‘S not like either of you owed it to me or anything and I-. You guys just really came through…” Marcus trails off, wanting to make his gratitude clear. It means more to him that he can articulate so instead he settles for, “So thank you. Again.”

Luca shrugs with an aplomb about him as he returns with, “We got you, mate.” He pauses before continuing, fully aware that Marcus isn’t quite comfortable with the feelings that have presented themself in this moment. “And the way I see it, I wouldn’t have met her if it weren’t for you – for our conversation the last time you were here – so we really do owe you for it.”

This time Luca makes an effort to check in with Marcus, gauging his emotional capacity as he concludes with:

“But that’s not what any of this is about: debts, who owes who what. We were both more than happy to host you. That’s what mates are for.”

It’s not till the end of the next shift that it hits him, and Marcus finds himself sitting outside of the restaurant on a bench across the street. He’s not sure whether it’s the jet lag or the exhaustion of the 5 am start time in another time zone, but it hits him all at once, like a ton of bricks. Suddenly consumed with the feelings that he’s been trying his best to avoid, all he can do is pause, completely caught off guard by the strength of them. 

Quietly, Luca joins him, having spotted him on his way home, rerouting himself in Marcus’ direction instead. 

All he can think of are the words you’ve asked him, and he you, time and time again – the ones that cut right to the core of you each and every time – that show you how much he cares. 

“How’s your heart?” Luca asks Marcus, after a few minutes of sitting on the bench together in silence. 

And how is his heart? 

He’s not sure how to answer, considering it’s been a while since he’s really had a chance to check in, the crippling reality of this great loss is too much to bear alone. 

His heart is broken, shattered into an infinite amount of pieces. 

He, and his heart will never be the same again and he doesn’t know where or how he’ll ever put it back together. 

His heart is… lost, in desperate need of finding a soft place to land. 

Marcus takes a while to answer, racking his brain for any semblance of a cohesive answer. 

He waits. And then he waits. 

Until finally, he can answer. 

“I uh… don’t know. But I’m hoping this trip will help me figure that out.”

Creativity 

“do you remember the 21st night of september? love was changin' the minds of pretenders while chasin' the clouds away.” (earth, wind, and fire.)

Everything about the way you run your kitchen feels different than what he’s used to. 

It’s sure as hell different from his last stage trip to New York, Marcus thinks to himself.

With Carmy and Syd, working with them, there’s a buzz of chaos that runs underneath even the most organized and efficient service. It’s something integral to what they have, gives an edge to The Bear that seems to make it hum in all the right ways. Even with Luca, who comes from fine dining and Michelin-starred restaurants, there’s a quiet and determined focus – an intensity to his work – even without the undercurrent of chaos. 

But this. But you. 

Your kitchen somehow teeters the line of organized chaos and reckless play so well that Marcus understands why this works – why it’s efficient. 

Still, he watches as you and your staff dance – no, literally dance – around each other to the highly recognizable Earth, Wind, and Fire tune. Mathilde sings along while chopping chives for the brothy mushroom grain bowl, while, mid-phrase, manages to yell out a short command to a line cook in Danish. Out of the corner of his eye, Marcus catches Jesper working the dining room, while you finish plating two more dishes, ready to be walked out. 

It’s as if you find focus in the center of all the noise, somewhere between the electric energy between you, Mathilde, and your staff, and the feel-good vibes and homeyness of the restaurant that you’ve created. 

You had been more than welcoming when Marcus had walked through the doors of your restaurant, Kokuore, mere hours ago. You’d given him the tour, shown him which station he’d be working this evening, then warmly introduced him to your entire team before family meal started. Marcus can’t stop moving, too afraid to be still in fear of falling apart in the presence of how comforting you’ve been. 

And this? Your kitchen. It’s all joy, connection, and artistry. 

It’s not hard for him to see why Luca fell in love with you. 

“Marcus, feel free to take a break,” he hears you say, as you nod towards the dining room through the open kitchen. 

As Marcus follows your gesture, he notices that Luca’s arrived, remembering something about a standing Saturday date. 

“You sure, chef?” Marcus asks, looking to you for approval. 

“Positive,” you nod, reassuringly.

Marcus nods in return to confirm, before taking his apron off and making his way over to the dining room where Luca is exchanging a few words with Jesper. 

“Wassup, chef,” he greets his mentor. 

“You know, you can call me Luca,” Luca reminds him with a crooked smile. “At least when we’re off the clock.”

Marcus chuckles, “Uh… yeah alright. That’s gonna take some getting used to.” 

Luca chuckles in return, before Jesper shows them to his table, mentioning something about Americans being so afraid of fluidity. 

“She’s brilliant isn’t she?” Luca asks, in reference to you as his eyes catch yours from across the room. 

“Nah for real. Like… mad scientist vibes,” Marcus concurs with a smile. “She can throw down for sure.” He pauses as they sit down at Luca’s table. “So you come every Saturday night, huh?”

“When I can, yeah, which is… most Saturdays,” Luca replies honestly, before beginning to list why he’s kept up this routine. “But it’s nice. Keeps me inspired. I get to see my girl, walk her home at night which makes me feel better.” Luca leans back in his chair this time, crossing his arms over his chest. “And I never mind helping close down at the end of the night.”

Marcus hums in response before one of the waitstaff comes to their table, with a glass of wine in hand, on the house. They chat for a little longer before Marcus returns to the kitchen, his excitement for what you’re doing here filling him to the brim. 

As dinner service comes to an end, Marcus can’t help but notice the chemistry and how unique it is as you all work together in perfect harmony. There’s a warmth to it, something different, and he begins to understand why the name of the restaurant comes from the word, heart. 

Luca is quick to get up from his table, quickly finishing his glass of wine as he offers to help close down. The music volume goes from underscoring the buzz of a busy night of service, to the main attraction, as a motown throwbacks playlist begins to blare from the speakers. You all work quickly and efficiently, eager to close down, get home, and begin your weekends, but it’s when an old Otis Redding track that Luca decides to put a pause on the progress. 

“Dance with me, my love,” he says, offering his hand out to you as a huge gesture that earns a few looks and giggles from some of your staff. 

“Luca,” you begin to protest, looking around. 

“You can take three minutes,” he offers, exchanging a look with you this time. 

You nod, taking his hand as you agree with, “Okay.”

And as Luca wraps you up in his arms, engaging you in a slow dance to Otis Redding’s “That’s How Strong my Love is,” you chuckle, relaxing into him.

“Oh, get a room, you two!” Jesper calls out after you, teasingly. 

“She pretends – always puts up a fight – as if they don’t do this every single week,” Mathilde adds, as an explanation to Marcus. 

“Every week?” Marcus asks, a little surprised by both you and Luca’s willingness to pause and revel in a moment with each other, instead of just pushing through. 

“Yeah. Romantics, they are,” Jesper chimes in. 

Marcus smiles to himself. It’s a reminder of slowness – something he hasn’t let himself experience in a long time – and for just a moment, he lets himself settle into the feeling. 

*

You don’t even mind that you woke up an hour before your alarm the moment you feel Luca’s arms wrapped around you, and his lips against your soft skin. The low rumble of his voice resonates across your shoulders, sending chills down your spine as you arch into his hands, his arms wrapped around you. 

“I know we’re only a few days in… of our little trial,” Luca begins, the bass of his voice reverberating through your shoulder blade.

“Our living together trial?” you clarify with your ask, letting out a gasp as he nibbles on your shoulder gently. 

“Yeah. Just wonderin’ where your mind’s at,” Luca murmurs, his eager hands beginning to explore underneath the oversized shirt you put on before bed last night. 

“Well… I really like this,” you reply, the sound that comes out of your mouth somewhere between a giggle and a moan. 

“Hmmmm?” Luca sounds, innocently. 

“This… Waking up to you thing.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“Mhm.”

Luca’s name escapes your lips as his fingers gently begin to play with your nipples, his erection hard against your back as you begin to grind your hips back against. 

“And the access to round the clock sex is really a bonus,” you sigh, blissfully. 

“Oh yeah?” he asks you again, a large tatted hand slipping between your legs. 

“Yeah… I’d even be… interested in leaning into that part… right now,” you hiss in reply to his touch. “Considering you’re distracting me with sex.”

“Hmmmmm. ‘S not just it, love. Have I told you how grateful I am for what you’ve done for Marcus?” Luca asks, his mouth back on your neck. He presses your body against him, your back to his chest as he rocks his hips against yours. 

“Luca!” you protest, unable to focus on the conversation. 

“It’s your kindness. Your heart… I’m in awe of it,” he continues to praise you as the two of you begin to set a rhythm between your bodies. 

It’s all heat, and soft sighs of pleasure, and foreplay.

“Well, I know a little something about what he’s going through,” you answer breathlessly. You begin to impatiently push the hem of your shirt higher so that you can give Luca more access to your body. 

“That’s why I love you,” Luca murmurs into your skin, his hands all over you, his focus unbroken and your mind beginning to go blank. His hands are tearing your shirt over your head as he continues to praise you. “Your heart, the way you share it.”

“You helped me get there, baby,” you gasp, turning your head so that you can kiss your boyfriend. 

Instead of answering, Luca nods knowingly, before crashing his lips into yours. His mouth on yours feels like heaven, and you can’t believe that you ever fought your feelings for him. 

“Ah fuck it. Let’s do it. Let’s move in together,” you surrender to him, lost in the moment. 

“Yeah?” Luca pauses, pulling away, as if almost can’t believe what he’s hearing. 

“Yeah. I mean it, baby,” you nod, catching his gaze, certain in the way you answer. “I wanna wake up to you every morning.”

“Me too, my love,” Luca grins, before pressing his lips to yours again. “Now will you please let me fuck you, darling?”

“Fuck yes.”

Luca spends the next hour showing you just how grateful he is for you, while you in return, spend the next hour showing him just how sure you are about this decision. 

And you are sure. If mornings like this are a constant for the rest of your life, you think you’ll die a happy woman. 

You’ve found a home in him, and he, you. He’s the person you want to come home to at the end of the day. He’s the man that puts a smile on your face every single time he gets on his soapbox about how Beyonce is the performer of your lifetimes, and he is unequivocally the best, most unexpected thing in your life. 

Luca Davies, in almost a year of knowing him, and eight months of getting to love him, has somehow become your favorite person. 

By the time you and Luca are both showered and decent-for-company, you’ve begun your mise en place for brunch, completely content with the fact that you’re running a little behind schedule (and in all fairness, the sex was worth it – it’s always worth it). The smell of bacon sizzling away on your carbon steel fry pan fills the entire apartment, and you’re glad that Luca opened a window earlier. It’s not exactly window weather yet, but the air ventilation is a must when it comes to smoked meats.

While you play catch up with your brunch plan, Luca’s busy welcoming Marcus in, pouring him a cup of coffee using the extensive ten-step pour over he’s been fixated on ever since he purchased it, while they chat here and there about what else he’s explored in Denmark. 

“Been too busy working, to be honest but… I don’t know. I might wander around today… see what kind of stuff I can get into,” Marcus answers frankly with a shrug. 

“Ah, mate. We just had a walk at the Frederiksberg Gardens. Definitely something I’d recommend checking out,” Luca suggests, his eyes lighting up with excitement as he mentions it. 

Luca continues moving through his list of recommendations, Marcus chiming in with places and things he did the last time he was here, excited to spend a few days exploring the city instead of just working. 

“Wanderin’ around. I dunno. There’s something about it. ‘S good for the spirit, you know?” Luca concludes. 

“Yeah,” Marcus nods in agreement, before turning his attention over to the French toast you’re working on. “Okay, I see you. What is that? Mascarpone?”

“Yeah, good eye. It’s just something new I’m working on: a mascarpone stuffed french toast. We’re actually talking about extending our hours… maybe doing weekend brunch,” you answer thoroughly, as you dip the stuffed pieces of bread into their egg batter, pre-cook. 

“For real? That’s sick,” Marcus compliments, watching you carefully. “I mean… shit. You could have a whole brunch spot.”

“What do you mean?” you ask, looking up from your cutting board. 

“A Brunch spot,” Marcus repeats, simply, the excitement in his eyes at the new idea, evident. “Yeah, you know. Luca could do the morning pastries. You work your magic on the rest of the menu.”

“That’s a novel idea! What do you think, my love?” Luca asks, intrigue in his voice as he searches your face for a reaction. 

“I-,” you begin, looking from Luca to Marcus, then back to Luca again. “I… never thought about it like that.” You take a beat, eyeing Luca carefully. “We’ve never talked about going into business together.”

Marcus shrugs, before picking up his coffee mug, “Yo, it’s just a thought. I think you two would be unstoppable together.”

“Unstoppable, eh?” Luca asks, his eyes locked with yours. 

You only hum in response, raising a quirked eyebrow in Luca’s direction before adding:

“It’s certainly one hell of an idea, Marcus.”

Kokuore

Monday afternoon, you find yourself at your restaurant with Marcus Brooks, on a day off. 

“I might need a little extra help with something tomorrow. We’re closed tomorrow, but I want to get ahead on this special I’m working on. Could use the help of a pastry chef. What do you say?” you’d proposed to him, over one more espresso before he left. 

To Luca’s dismay, (“ you silly Americans just can’t enjoy a day of doing nothing,” he’d teased the two of you) Marcus had given you an unwavering yes, reassuring you that he was down to learn everything he possibly could from you, especially while he was here. 

And it’s true. You do need the help. But should he want someone to talk to – someone who gets it, even just a little bit – you want to offer him the space and the opportunity to do so.

“As a patissier, do you get tasked with pasta? At The Bear?” you ask Marcus, as you pleat a dumpling in hand with a speed that only comes with practice. 

“Nah,” Marcus sounds, his focus on the dumpling he’s pleating too. His concentration on getting the pleats right is reverent and unbroken, even as he answers your question. “Our head chef, Carmy, he uh… he comes from an Italian American family so when we’ve done a stuffed pasta… he usually takes the lead on that.” 

You nod in understanding, placing the dumpling you’ve just finished down on the full-sized sheet pan. The two of you sit across from each other, having pushed a few dining tables together as a makeshift workstation. 

“Think Luca’ll take over this kinda stuff when you guys open a restaurant together?” Marcus asks, lightheartedly pushing his agenda from yesterday. 

You laugh in response, your hands working quickly on yet another dumpling. 

“For someone with no skin in the game, you’re really insistent on this idea,” you tease him in return. 

“Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it,” Marcus pushes right back, his tone still light. 

“I…” you sigh, trailing off as you pause your work for a moment. “You know, we just said we’d move in together. That and a restaurant? Feels fast.” 

“Oh shit.”

“Yeah.”

“Like… a few hours before you came over for brunch,” you elaborate, earning a whistle from Marcus. The two of you exchange a look, and a laugh, as you pick up another dumpling wrapper that you and Marcus rolled out together earlier. 

“It’s a good idea though,” you add, stealing a glance his way so that he knows that you’re serious. 

“Well, when you two inevitably do open a restaurant… I want ten percent,” Marcus jokes, earning another laugh from you. 

“Deal,” you agree with him. 

You and Marcus work like this, exchanging a few words, the conversation light, underscored by a softer acoustic soundtrack from one of your Spotify radio stations.

“So how’d you learn to cook like this?” Marcus asks you curiously. 

“Uh…” you hesitate, treading carefully as you realize this conversation could open a can of worms. 

“I don’t know how much Luca’s told you about me… but I was married… before him,” you begin, cautiously. “And… well, I learned a lot of this… a lot of traditional Japanese cooking from my mother-in-law.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. These are her dumplings actually – her recipe. She passed away last Fall and… well, it was important to me to celebrate her – to celebrate her life – by creating a few dishes for her,” you continue, and it’s as if all of the air has been sucked out of the room. “We’re bringing this one back as a special this month but um… yeah. I’m… still very much grieving and… it helps me remember her. Cooking her food helps me feel close to her, you know?”

“Yeah,” Marcus sighs, his heart heavy as he exhales. 

He waits a beat. 

And then another, having paused his work as he watches you pleat, head down, with expert hands. 

The silence between you and Marcus is full, heavy, connected by shared experience. You wait for Marcus to say something, and when he doesn’t, you decide to continue. 

“This restaurant… has so much of my heart in it: it’s got my love for Italian food from growing up in my best friend’s family’s restaurant, and it’s got my love for her – for Aiko – and everything she taught me,” you begin to explain. “And lately… it’s got a fresh perspective… inspired by the love I have with Luca, I think. Well, I know. Inspired by him… how this place brought us together.”

“The name itself is… totally made up, but means a lot to me. The Japanese word for heart is, kokoro, and the Italian word for heart is, cuore. Somehow an homage to my past… and was… Prophetic in so many ways too.” 

As Marcus listens, Luca’s previous question lingers in his head:

How’s your heart?

At the time he didn’t know how to answer, and after five days in Copenhagen – after five days of doing what he loves in a place that he loves – his heart is somehow so full, yet so broken all at once. He’s filled with deep sorrow and with the spark of creativity all at the same time, and he’s just not sure how to hold all of this feeling inside of him. 

Marcus waits a beat, opens his mouth, then lets the words fall out. 

“It’s evident. In your food,” is all he manages to say. “It’s got soul. It’s got heart. I-, it’s inspiring. That’s for sure.” 

“I made a dish. For Michael,” Marcus adds, his eyes on the dumpling he works on, but the guard on his heart beginning to fall away. “He was uh… well, he was the old owner of the restaurant, called The Beef back then. Carmy took over after he died. Felt right to honor him and his life, you know? When we reopened as The Bear.”

“Food is… it’s our art, you know?” you agree. ��Sometimes it’s the only way I know how to express myself and… sometimes it’s just the thing that makes sense.”

“Yeah.”

A beat. 

“Maybe one day I can make one for my mom,” Marcus says, his voice stuck in his throat as he admits, “I don’t know if I’m ready yet. But I think… I think I’d like to eventually.” 

“Of course,” you reassure him gently. “You don’t have to be ready now. You don’t have to be ready ever. But when you are, your art will always be there.” 

“Thanks,” Marcus nods solemnly. 

You get up this time, realizing the sheet pan is full, and ready to be placed on the baker’s rack. As you return to the table with a new empty sheet pan, lined with parchment paper, Marcus finally asks you, his eyes soft, the heartbreak in them present. 

“How’d you get through? You know. Losing her? Your mother-in-law?” 

You return to your chair with a heavy sigh. 

“I’ll let you know when I do,” you answer, letting up a soft chuckle. “It helps to have good people and… from what Luca’s told me, you do. But… I had to let ‘em in, let ‘em help me. Let ‘em love me. And in all honesty, most days I’m still just… taking it day by day.” 

“Yeah, I-. I do. I got some really good people. Back home,” Marcus drags out slowly. 

“Then that’s all that matters. Your people and your heart. The rest… you just-,” you start. 

“Take day by day?” Marcus interjects, pausing to catch your eyes. 

You and Marcus exchange a knowing look, the recognition of each others’ pain is met with empathy. 

“Yeah. I think that's all we can do.”

By the end of your work session with Marcus, you’re ready to head home so that you can spend the rest of the day with Luca. 

“What’re you gonna do with the rest of your day?” you ask Marcus, curiously. 

With a sigh, and then a shrug, and a heart that feels just a little lighter, he answers with:

“Think I might wander around a bit. Someone once told me it’s good for the spirit.”

[jackiietaylor]

Now that it’s over thoughts on season 3? I feel disappointed but I’m not surprised since I felt like this since 3x01. If we get a s4 I don’t know if I’ll watch it or I’ll casually watch it and like… not get invested

id say disappointing is pretty accurate to how i feel about the season. i honestly wasnt even gonna watch despite loving the first two seasons because i thought skipping past the aftermath of the cabin burning down was a really boring decision, and i do kinda wish i had just not bothered with it at all. as of now i probably won't watch s4, assuming it gets renewed, which makes me sad because at one point this was my favorite show and i really did love it, but it just feels so far away from the show it was in s1 that im just not really interested in anything that may happen. maybe if i do watch it ill wait until the full seasons out, or maybe ill change my mind and just casually watch, but right now im not really invested in what happens

more detailed thoughts below:

season overview:

i think overall the season just felt… contrived? so much of the plot felt like it was happening because the writers needed it to happen and not because it was a natural continuation of what had happened prior. the group staying in the wilderness after one comment from shauna is my biggest example of this. we know theyre not allowed to leave the wilderness until winter, so they don’t leave. thats it. so much just felt so forced

a big complaint i had in s2 was that they skip over the aftermath of every single major event, at least in the wilderness. they did it with jackies death and the beginning of the first winter, they did it with shaunas baby dying, and then they did it with the cabin burning. i just think it’s poor writing to not explore the results of these moments. even half an episode spent watching the cabin burn, trying to find whatever remains, and the start of them building new shelters couldve helped, because what they did do felt so unrealistic. the first two seasons they cant find any food and then in s3 suddenly they have a bunch of farm animals? not a fan.

adult timeline (mostly taissa):

i think the adult timeline is ruining the show, and at this point im really not sure theres a way back. they clearly have no clue what theyre doing with it. i have like 10 posts in my drafts about this but completely throwing away the most interesting adult plot (taissas senate career and her relationship with her family post sacrificing their dog to win the election) just to bring in van only to give van no reason to exist outside of taissa and then just killing her is a really bad sign for the direction of the plot.

on a positive note i will say that i liked the finale ending with tai and misty meeting up to blame shauna for everything that's happened. i think that direction feels right to me. after this season it has made no sense to me why any of them speak to shauna in the present day. so much of it is her fault it doesn’t add up that theyre just fine with her as adults, so hopefully going forward that’ll maybe be addressed? or maybe not who knows

however, i really dont buy the whole “we forgot what we did out there” thing they were going for. obviously thats true in reality that trauma survivors often forget part or all of their experience, but in a tv show that just… doesnt really work for me the way theyre doing it. it reads to me like they didnt anticipate the direction the plot would turn when the show started, so they used that to explain why none of this has ever been addressed until now. i mean shauna had all those journals detailing their experience but she didn't remember that she loved being a violent dictator until right now? again it just feels so forced

lottie:

i think everything with adult lottie after s1’s reveal has also been poorly planned. going from “who the fuck is lottie matthews” to killing her off in a murder mystery plot that even the other characters didnt care about is so sad, because after finishing s1 adult lottie was the character i was most interested in, and they just didn’t do anything compelling with her at all. and then they killed before they even had the opportunity to develop her!

i think her and callies dynamic couldve been sooo good especially with the idea that lottie saw callie as the baby shauna lost in the wilderness. i think if they had spent the season working toward that and developing their relationship and then ended it with callie accidentally killing lottie, that wouldve maybe worked better than what we got. i don't think she should've been killed at all, at least not yet, but if it had to be done it should've been after she was given more development. i completely understand simones frustration with the way lottie was written, because the lottie promised in s1 and the one we actually got aren’t the same character, and killing her off so soon was just such a waste.

shauna:

the biggest problem of the entire season. to me. they’re writing shauna like a cartoon character at this point. i know this is unpopular but i don’t find her to be particularly complex at this point lmao i think her beating up lottie after losing her baby in s2 was a better example of complexity, but at this point she’s just comically evil. its not enjoyable to watch for an entire season. also im so sick of every criticism toward how Shauna has been written this season being met with "you can't handle evil women" or whatever like my issue isn't what she's doing is how being written as she does it. there's no nuance to it she's like a cartoon supervillain out of nowhere

and i just dont find adult shauna that interesting in comparison to the other adult plots. i think giving her, jeff, and callie so much screentime is a huge mistake because its being given at the expense of characters that are just more compelling than any of them. callies plot should've been given to sammy somehow and jeffs screentime should've been given to lottie. her little speech at the end of the finale just felt embarrassing to listen to like none of the girls in the wilderness even liked her and now its 25 years later and she's calling herself a queen when they only indulged her to buy nat time

ultimately, i think the biggest issue is making shauna the unquestionable main character. she was never the main character before, no matter how much people try to convince themselves that she was. it was an ensemble show. if i had to pick a main character in the teen timeline, it would've been jackie in s1 and maybe nat in s2. shauna was probably the main in the adult timeline in s1 and s2, but s1 was about equal between shauna, tai, and nat in my opinion. since then everything been about adult shauna, and the show has suffered for it. if anything, i think making shauna and nat dual leads would've been better, since they're the most opposite, but adult nat is dead and teen nat was pushed to the side. i dont know if there's a way to divest attention from shauna at this point, but if the show wants to succeed ever again they need to figure it out

melissa:

completely unnecessary character. i was against another survivor being added long before hilary swank was cast and everything about how they handled that proves me right, at least in my opinion. it makes no sense for her to have survived, and no one will ever convince me that it was planned. the adult timeline revolved around forcing her into the plot, and the teen timeline suffered from shauna and melissas out of nowhere relationship taking up time that shouldve been spent on other characters. her killing van and then just disappearing to ridiculous

im not necessarily opposed to her in the teen timeline, especially after the finale. i think all of the “background” yellowjackets need to be given personalities or backstories or something to make us care about them, but i dont know if i love the way they did it. it started out strong but i still feel like she was just shaunas accessory and not really her own character, which is bad for a character thats now in two timelines

pit girl:

i think it was obviously that it was always going to be mari, as much as i still wish it wasnt. i liked that they orchestrated the circumstances of the hunt so nat could try to get them rescued. i liked the detail that shauna realized van was rigging the cards and stepped in to throw them off. i do kinda wish they had killed hannah instead just because i don’t care about her and wish she wasnt there lol. i did really love the moment gen said that maris her friend and she wanted to give her a better chance :(

however. i dont think the pit girl scene we were given makes sense with the scene in the pilot. like at all? i guess I always figured that they'd try to subvert expectations somehow but making it so that none of them were actually participating in the hunt feels like such a waste. in a way im glad that I have to watch them brutally hunt mari down and that other than shauna none of them really wanted her dead, but that just made shauna brutalizing her corpse feel really gross. that scene of them dragging her dead body through the snow just felt really unnecessary. it was one thing when i thought it was a ritual that they had done more than once but shauna forcing them to specifically do it to mari is just bad.

and again it just all feels so forced. none of them wanted to do the hunt, shauna was really the only one trying to kill her. the rest of them were just kinda there. the pit of spikes was just conveniently made the episode before and then forgotten about??? its like they realized they were about to get to pit girl but they didnt have anything set up so they had travis randomly put some spikes in the pit because they needed someone to fall into it

nat:

this is kinda the writers fault and kinda juliette lewis’s fault which still makes it the writers fault because she wanted off the show because she didnt like how nat was written, but nats absence is the adult timeline is so prevalent. ive seen other people say this and i agree but it really feels like it shouldve been shauna vs nat in the present. shauna reverting back to the wilderness vs nat who has always wanted to leave. shauna trying to drag her back in and nat being determined to get out. killing off adult nat the season before we find out how devoted nat was to rescuing them and not being able to see any connection to the present in that way sucks

this is less nat specific and more generally but it felt like there was a constant back and forth for who the girls supported and whether they wanted to go home based on absolutely nothing.

misty:

i dont have much to say here other than i would like her scenes so much more if walter disappeared from them entirely. its been two seasons and i still have no clue why hes here other than elijah wood wanted to join the show. loved her scene with shauna in the finale though

general:

the acting in this season is significantly worse than previous seasons and i have to assume its because of the script. the biggest exception to this is sophie thatcher i think she’s been so great in every scene she’s had

similarly the editing in the finale was… interesting. it would’ve been a lot better without the flashbacks, i didn’t think any of them were necessary and it definitely took me out of the show a little each time they were shown. maybe im being too harsh at this point but it was just weird. i get why they added the pit girl flashbacks, even though i dont think they were really needed, but all the other ones were unnecessary

one of my other biggest issues is that it feels like once a character dies in the present, their role in the past dwindles. we had so much less of nat than i wouldve liked this season, and lottie also kinda went away once her adult counterpart died. they (in my opinion) should’ve been two of the main focuses, if not the main focus, of the teen timeline because nats the most desperate to leave (and started the season as the leader) and lotties the most desperate to stay.

anyway in conclusion i think this is by far the weakest season of the show. so many things would happen but then would be immediately contradicted or forgotten. nats dead, lotties dead, vans dead, bens dead, maris dead but for some reason walter is still on my screen. they don’t seem to know what theyre doing or where theyre going, and at this point im just not really interested in finding out

things i liked:

i know this is a lot of complaining so let me list out some of the things I actually liked

ghost jackie. specifically the grocery store scene.

nat and coach bens relationship has always been a highlight, but even though i had some issues with the trial i think the ending to their dynamic was ultimately well done.

more mari. i really liked the attention she was given at the beginning of the season. im sad we've seen the last of her

travis and akilah. i really really loved the dynamic between these two

callie wearing jackies necklace

the teen and adult van joint scenes

[starsfic]

The Week After, Chapter 5: Day 5

Summary: Things snap. Notes: There is smut on the AO3 version of this. There are warnings for the smut.

The show was going to be rigged.

Now that Morgan knew more about it and had sat in the office, listening to Frankie and the board rambling about the next season plans as they thought they were tuned out, it was absolutely fucking rigged. Now that they were here, they would be involved in it, making sure either them or that monster version of Frankie won for however many seasons. Until the show shut down or the audience got bored of one of them.

Morgan didn't need to train. But they wanted to, otherwise they would doom themself without the aid of anyone.

No, scratch that.

There was an itch deep in Morgan's systems. They couldn't get the proper hit without Monster Frankie, but apparently, the backup body wouldn't be turned on until a week before the show. It was fine. There were other ways to make the adrenaline rush through their systems, even if the parkour palace's systems weren't running.

They stepped inside Frankie's Crash Course from the hidden elevator, pressing the big red button next to it. As the elevator doors slid close and the saw blades began to dull whir, they headed to the STAND HERE mark. The long-sleeved leotard they had dug out in replacement of a shirt felt a touch too revealing, but it was the best parkour clothes they had. They needed to stock up. At least they had good sneakers.

The timer began to count down, unlike during the show, as the blades grew louder. The minute it hit zero, the two minutes began.

It started slow at first. Morgan side-stepped and jumped easily without a real sweat. They fought back a snicker as cardboard cutouts of Frankie joined. As one with his hand up zipped past, they high-fived it. The ground was soft but solid underneath their feet, kinda like the material the daycare at that one pizza place was made of, so there was no fear of injury, except from the stronger and stronger saw blades and the faster and faster stuff trying to push them into the saw blades. Still, they continued on, gritting their teeth and forcing their body to move faster and faster, even as an ache began to thrum through their body.

I should have stretched before . That was a note.

Five…four…three…two…one-

The timer stopped, leaving things half frozen. Morgan came to a stop, breathing and out, their throat dry and aching. They needed to bring a water bottle next time. During the show, they had nearly died from the amount of coughing from lack of water.

They headed to the elevator.

They first headed to their apartment to get the waterbottle they got from a college tour, back when they were still with their family. Next, they headed to the trampoline park.

They worked their way through the parkour palace. They had to head back again when they remembered Deputy Duck’s section and grab him. He had kinda been dropped with the rest of the show outfit and ended up propped on a counter, where he had sat silent. But after some poking around in his jail cell, they found a charging port and resisted a smile at the broken quack. Morgan didn’t know if Depity Duck was sentient, like the others, but that quack had sounded like a thanks.

Frankie spoke up when they entered Henry Hotline’s section.

“What are you doing?”

Morgan nearly walked into a wall from their jump. They couldn’t find the light switches for this section. When they had been cleaning up the bodies, they had relied on the flashlight on their phone. At least this gave them practice. “Practicing.”

“You’re going to break something,” Frankie said. They couldn’t tell, but he either sounded concerned or mocking. “Did you even wrap up your chest after that fall at the frosted peak?”

The fall in question had been high. Really high. Morgan’s chest did ache, but it wasn’t anything to worry about. The ache in their ribs from their first fall, back during the show, didn’t even bother them anymore! At least, not until they started training.

“I’m fine, Frankie.” Morgan reached out and allowed their right hand to press against the wall and started to walk. They needed to run this, but that would come second. “I want to give the viewers a show. I want to earn the victory.”

“Well, you can’t do that if you break an arm or something.” Frankie said, and he did sound annoyed. “Come back and let me look at it.”

“No, I’m fine.” Morgan’s pace began to speed up.

There was an annoyed groan. “You’re being stubborn for no reason. Let me help you keep us both active and alive here.”

“No.” For some reason, probably the tone he took- like he was babysitting a kindergartener, they refused. “I don’t need your help.”

He groaned again, this one longer and more annoyed. “Come. Here.”

“No!”

The wall suddenly yanked out in front of them. Several questions joined the pile, including the fact that the walls could move. Their plan to map out the maze was suddenly unavailable. The intercom crackled. “Come. Here. You’re putting both of us at risk.”

Well, now, they had to. “Fuck you too,” they called, still turning and heading back where they came, eventually seeing the phone that started the game. “I can get hurt if I want to!”

The intercom was silent now.

Morgan grumbled as they headed to the elevator, slamming the button for the utilidors. As the elevator headed down, they found their foot tapping against the floor. The repeated gesture didn’t help the anger boiling in their gut. They had just been preparing. They had been working on it all day, why was he suddenly pitching a fit?

A strange smell hit their nose as they drew closer to the office. Bafflement washed over them as they turned the corner and saw that the smell came from the cigar that Frankie was smoking as he glared at the cameras.

“You can smoke?”

“It’s new. It’s a better method of hurting myself than whatever you were doing.” he snarked back, pulling the cigar out and stamping it out in the ashtray that had popped up. He turned and, yep, that was a glare, even if his face couldn’t make a glare. “If you get hurt, there’s no guarantee you’ll be fine before the show, which hurts your chances and mine.”

“So?” Morgan said with a huff, crossing their arms and ignoring the spike of pain. He had made them angry, there was no way they were admitting weakness. “I need to practice. You can’t stop me.” On a dare that popped up, they leaned forward and grinned. “I’m not yours.”

[saveahorserideaneddie]

okay okay okay so i finally got to sit and watch the full ep (8x13) in its entirety with no distractions after watching it once split in half, and i have a few thoughts (nothing bad so don’t worry just a few notes i had written here and there while watching!!)

- while i like the fact that they gave a little focus to hen in this ep, i wish her feeling invisible would have stemmed more from something a little more realistic than people she’s known for so much of her life just seemingly forgetting her birthday out of nowhere- it felt odd that they’ve all known her and been family to her for years not remembering (although perhaps im just infusing my own philosophy on my friends’ birthdays where i intentionally set up reminders way ahead of time so i can plan something accordingly but i digress) it would have made more sense if they wanted this forgotten birthday plotline to center it more around ravi and showcase his struggles with trying to fit in with the group (also calling back to being called eddie in 8x11) and could serve as a way for him to really solidify his place as one of the mains giving him the flashy plot point of talking down archie on the bus- that being said, if they wanted the ep to be focused on hen (which i am so so so so so glad we got a henisode after so long) i feel like it should have been less about people forgetting her birthday, painting everyone else ss lowkey dicks, and more of playing on the fact thst she kinda has been pushed to the side narratively since ep 4/5 of s8 BUT i didn’t hate the plotline just thought it could have been reworked

- i already talked more at length in that 1 am ramble i went on about the set dressing of eddie’s el paso house, but i do love just how out of place eddie’s furniture looks in that house and not in a “he’s still settling in way” but genuinely in a “this stuff doesn’t belong here way” that really solidifies the run down house’s role of reflecting his relationship with his parents and texas as a whole- attempting to settle back into that dynamic but he’s a new person and he will never fit into the old dilapidated conventions he grew up in no matter how hard he tries- to me this felt a little bit more of a subtly effective move on the show rather than the blatant “oh the house is falling apart haha” funny bit in ep 12… not that that bit didn’t work for its purpose in that episode as a funny cutaway during the job interview but i feel like the symbolism of the furniture being so put of place, and also showing eddie trying to fix a cabinet while on facetime w buck- in essence “trying to fix his relationship w his family”- was a much more solid metaphorical statement of where eddie’s at in these episodes

- (this was something i wrote down the first time i watched it but i thought it was funny) does the show know texas? bc i don’t think the show knows texas…

- a single day chess tournament in a town 5 hours away with no intention of having the kids stay overnight is so funny to me they were really gonna make those kids ride a bus for 10 whole hours that day with a random chess tournament in between

- mara <3 (that’s it, that’s the note)

- i miss the athena and hen bestieism from earlier seasons and im so glad we got it back for a second this ep

- again, i already spoke at length about my thoughts on eddie’s speech to his mother snd how i thought it was much more of a gut punch to her than him yelling at her so no notes there

- my one disappointment is the way they chise to have eddie say (paraphrasing) “i’m gonna start acting like [a dad]”… i know this can be read as eddie having never thought of himself as a good father, but i feel like his emotional journey in the episode was being framed as “no- i am a good dad, and i always have been” (which is why buck told him he needed to dad-up because the only time he hadn’t been was while chris was gone) and instead that line switched the message of the arc to “i need time start acting like a dad now” which isn’t true? because eddie’s entire character up to this point has been that he ONLY views himself as a dad, and we’ve had all these interviews and conversations detailing “he needs to learn who he is aside from being chris’s dad” and we haven’t seen any of that, and that line feels to me like they’re saying “nope- all he needs to be is a dad.” and… yes, of course being a dad is VERY important to him and should not be sacrificed, but i wish the writers had made the choice to just leave it at:

chris: you’ll be my dad again?

eddie: i’ve always been your dad

rather than tacking on the “now its time for me to act like one” because then that would tell the audience “okay, yes, he’s acknowledging that he’s christopher’s dad and he always has been, but he’s accepting that the time apart has at least started a journey to finding himself as a whole” but instead it kinda…. closed that door (im NOT saying that eddie’s self identity won’t be explored in some way down the line, i just feel like this was an odd writing choice that didn’t really match what the episode was trying to convey for eddie and chris’s relationship but it was written by taylor wong so i’m not expecting masterclass level writing in any way shape or form from her 💀)

anyway, as a whole i really did enjoy the episode- 12 and 13 (and to an extent 11 but i detest that episode on fundamentally different conditions) both really felt more in line with what i loved about earlier seasons of the show and fit the kind of episode formula that made me love the show initially so it was refreshing to see that after 8a was kind of a whole lot of nothing salad and then 8b started with DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA and is about to continue the DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA that i wish would be a bit more spread out than it has been this season and last. these two episodes have been a nice treat and i absolutely hate that i wasn’t able to watch them live because of various reasons but i still enjoyed them even after the fact going in with a baseline knowledge of what happened in both of them. (and also i was VERY pleasantly surprised w the writing of ep 12 considering it was written by two LS writers who don’t know these characters- somehow they had a better understanding of them than other certain writers who have written for the main show do after years of writing for them 💀 BUT I DIGRESS)

**ofc this is all my own opinion and i know others may disagree with me but i feel like im always so hard on this show and its often… okayish writing choices and i wanted to actually take a moment to say something constructive about an episode i did really like as a whole**

[vanishingcherry]

Hey love your lando fics. Could you do one with 7 and 10 from fluff list.

PUPPY LOVE

pairings: lando norris x reader

authors note: thank you for requesting! sorry its kinda short. prompt 7 is "just kiss me, would you?" and prompt 10 is "we're not buying a dog" check out my prompt list

masterlist

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

"We are not buying a dog."

"Oh come on, thats unfair. You know it's really mean of you to leave me alone for half the year and expect me to not get lonely."

You were sitting criss-crossed on the edge of your bed, watching Lando pack around 3 weeks worth of clothes into a suitcase. It was the Monday before the Bahrain Grand Prix, the first race of the season.

Unfortunately, you wouldn't be able to accompany Lando as much as you would have liked this year. Your study and work load had increased immensely, and you had to put majority of your energy into that, which meant you didn't have time to travel the world.

Lando was being very supportive, in everything but your quest to finally get a dog.

"Darling, you're the one who has to stay at home. I have no problem whatsoever with you coming with me." He smiles at your antics, watching as you lean back and fall against the mattress with a huff.

"But you know I can't."

He stands up from his place near the suitcase, sitting on the bed next to you. "I know, love." he replied sympathetically.

You sit up quickly, almost bashing heads with Lando who was leaning over you. "So you understand why we need a dog right?"

"My love, you know that if we get a dog, you're gonna fall in love with it and forget all about me." Lando says.

You laugh at his reasoning. "So you're against this because you're jealous?"

"I'm not jealous." he says pointedly. "I just know when I'm going to lose, and I am definitely going to lose against a puppy." The small smile he tries to hide lets you know that he's still joking.

"Oh baby I could never stop loving you. It just means that you'll have to share that love-"

"With a dog." he interrupts.

"Yes. And, if I'll only love you more if you say yes to getting a dog. So really nothing changes at all!"

Lando lets out a sigh, and you know that he was close to giving in.

"Please?"

"God, you're so annoying. I don't know how you always manage to convince me." he chuckles, lightly shaking his head with the realisation that he would do anything for you.

You grin, knowing you've won. "Just kiss me, would you?"

Now, Lando wasn't one to turn down such an invite. With lightening speed, he grabbed the sides of your face with his hands and pulled you in. The kiss was soft and your eyes fluttered close, hands moving to connect behind his neck.

You move away to catch your breath, excitedly planning the next steps with a slightly dazed Lando.

"We can go to the pet store tomorrow before your flight, yeah? I saw this really cute Goldendoodle the other day and I think he would be perfect!"

[bezslutpiercing]

bezzetti birthday sex.

here's to you dear anon <3 (2.5k words later) under the cut for the smut

Cele knew Bez had something planned for his birthday, because he always had since they were messy kids running around tracks with their minibikes.

They’re still equally as messy, the bikes have changed, sure, but they’re still kinda kids at heart.

Like when last year Bez gifted him the Millenium Falcon Lego set for his 22nd birthday and they spent hours together building it.

Bez’s birthday is almost exactly one month after his, so he always has the chance to one up his boyfriend’s gift in that period, but this time he fears it’s gonna be complicated.

When midnight hits and Pecco uncorks the champagne he bought the day before, Bez immediately picks him up and kisses him, making them both laugh as they try to lose themselves in each other’s arms.

“You are amazing today, happy birthday amore” “You’re making me blush in front of everyone” “You’re so pretty when you do”

They kiss again, then they all chant “Happy Birthday” to Cele before bringing him gifts.

Most of them are bike related things, someone getting him new gloves, someone new knee sliders, someone going out their way and buying him a whole new leathers for training, since his are pretty demolished.

Bez is last, he always is with his gifts, he brings him a little light blue box, of course in his colors, with a blue ribbon around it.

Cele opens it and he doesn’t speak for a few seconds.

“Venice? Really?”

Bez nods, Cele loves that city, always has, but he never had time or chance to go visit it properly.

“Five days, you and me in Venice, no one to bother us with trainings or whatsoever” “I love you” “I know” “After the season ends we’re going to Venice ok?” “I love you so much” “I love you too”

Cele blushes again, Bez hugs him and kisses the bridge of his nose, then everyone starts asking for the cake, chocolate flavored of course, and another hour passes.

Mig gets completely drunk once again and Franky has to actually restrain him from trying to use Rubik as a horse and pace around the house like that, then Pecco takes a handful of cake and basically throws it on Luca’s face who starts running after him with the remaining piece of cake trying to hit him.

Bez and Cele steal every joint Franky tries to roll for himself, and he ends up having to smoke in the bathroom with Mig half asleep beside him in the bathtub asking to “please let me smoke I’ll suck you off later”, and eventually giving in to the compromise.

Bez had cursed because he just needed to take a piss, not to see Mig going at it with Franky in his bathroom.

Pecco and Luca had disappeared at some time during the night only to emerge from the guest bedroom half an hour later looking anything but collected as they usually are, making Cele tease them about it for a good ten minutes.

Rubik tried to steal Cele’s gloves a few times, and Bez couldn’t scold him for the love of God so he just gave his dog a pair of his own gloves to play with, trying to make it less obvious that the pitbull had drooled all over Cele’s new pair.

By three in the morning there’s only a few people left, including Mig and Franky, who visibly had more than just one trip to the bathroom together, judging by the state of Mig’s neck and walking ability.

When even they leave, kinda thrown out by Bez who can’t stand them being all touchy ald flirty on his couch for fuck’s sake, him and Cele are finally alone.

“Enjoyed the birthday?” “Except from the fact Mig and Franky kept the bathroom occupied for the majority of the night yeah, I did” “Oh come on as if we never did that to their house, or Pecco’s, or even at the Ranch when we partied for Pecco’s first title and you dragged me there, or-” “Yeah ok ok I get it I know stop saying it you know I get embarrassed” “Mh yeah that’s exactly why I bring it up”

Cele pushes him jokingly and Bez catches his wrist, pulling him close to his chest, kissing him deeply.

“Hello birthday boy” “Hello my favorite present” “Oh I’m a present now?” “Pretty much the best one of the last three years”

They keep kissing until they stumble in their bed, luckily not the one used by their friends, and Cele gets pinned to the mattress.

“Marco Marco come on” “Eager today?” “Been waiting all night fuck”

Bez smiles as he undresses himself, tossing the shirt somewhere around the room and Cele quickly following him.

As soon as Cele’s half naked he goes to kiss his neck, leaving a pretty dark bruise on it, halfway from the collarbone to his jaw.

He leaves a trail of wet kisses until he reaches the boy's nipple, he recently got it re pierced after Bez convinced him to do it.

And it honestly was one of the best things he did as of lately, he got hypersensitive and Bez can pretty much play with him and get him dumb whenever, especially if he’s already as aroused as he is now.

“Love this on you Celin, you look so cute when you squirm because I tease you” “You get - fuck - you get sensitive there too don’t act so superior”

Bez doesn’t leave the younger much time before beginning to suck on that nipple, toying with the other one in the meantime.

“Marco fuck”

Bez smiles against his chest, not interrupting his game, but moving the hand busy with Cele’s nipple down to unzip his pants and cup him through his boxers.

Cele arches his back slightly, his hand going to tug at the mess of curls Bez’s hair are right now, making the older moan lightly.

Bez is sensitive pretty much everywhere, but neck, nipples and hair are his most sensitive places, if they’re fucking and Cele is riding him all he has to do is get his hands in Bez’s hair and pull and he’ll get really close really fast.

Cele feels hot all over, he wants Bez inside him now, wants his stupidly big hand holding him down as he fucks him so good he wakes up still feeling it.

But as always the other loves to drive him slowly insane, more than he already is, toy with him as if he’s a mouse and Bez is a cat.

“Stop teasing it’s my birthday come on” “So when my birthday comes in a month I can boss you around like you’re trying to do now Celin?” “I don’t-  yes you can but now -” “You promised eh Celin, remember, now what do you want me to do?”

Cele bites his lip, there’s a thin string of saliva still connecting Bez’s mouth to his nipple and it’s fucking hot.

“I just want you inside please” “As you wish”

Bez removes his hand from the front of Cele’s boxers, which by now are basically soaked in precum, yanking off his pants and wet boxers making Cele groan in pleasure

He looks for the lube, three seconds during which his boyfriend props himself up to unzip his pants and urge him to be quick.

“I don’t care how eager you are amore, I still need to prep you ok?” “But come onnnn, we fucked yesterday I’m - I’m ready” “No you are not, not lay back and let me make you feel good alright? I promise I’ll fuck you so well Celin”

The boy whines as Bez pushes him on the mattress again, then he hears the sound of lube being squeezed and a cold sensation around his hole.

Bez’s lips find their place below his jaw once again, leaving small and numerous kisses all over it, while he pushes the first and almost immediately second finger in.

Cele’s hands fly to grab onto Bez’s back, nails scratching lightly already. He wants him so much he can’t even describe it, Bez always had this effect on him, since the first time they ever had sex, he’s addictive, you have him once you want him forever.

“Gonna use a third finger ok? Then I promise I’m fucking you” “Yes yes it’s ok it’s good just be quick with it I want you”

Bez smiles against his jaw, it comes natural to him when he’s with Cele, whatever situation they’re in.

When he pushes the third finger in, Cele digs his nails a bit deeper in Bez’s back, making him whine and speed up his movements, he’s scissoring and stretching him so well Cele thinks he might just come from that alone.

It’s overwhelming, it always is, the precision and rapidity of Bez’s fingers, they reach places inside him he can’t reach on his own, when he’s alone at home and he misses Bez’s touch, and tries to do what he does, but can never get that deep or fast or precise like Bez does, and that gets him insane.

“Fuck - I’m ready Marco I swear”

Bez leaves another hickey on Cele’s neck before removing his fingers and swapping them for his cock, which is painfully hard in his boxers now.

They kiss, a mess of teeth and tongue as the older get properly naked and starts pushing inside him, slowly but so fucking deep it has Cele moaning in three seconds.

By now his nails must’ve left marks, which is fucking hot for both of them, mostly for Cele, as Bez pulls out and slams back in making his back arch in pleasure he looks for the “C” he painted on Bez’s shoulderblade the day before with hickeys, then as soon as the older behind moving and setting his usual quick pace his mind gets lost.

It’s like waves of continuous pleasure drawing him at every thrust, Bez’s grunts just getting him more and more needy for it, like fuel to an already burning fire.

“Marco kiss me please”

And he doesn’t wait to hear it twice, Bez just presses their lips together, pushing his tongue past Cele’s teeth and never interrupting his thrusts, actually increasing the speed and depth of them.

“I love you so much” “I know” “What are you - fuck - Han Solo?” “Would you dress like Leila?” “Fuck off” “You’d look good Celin, you’d be my princess wouldn’t that be hot?”

Cele has to muffle a moan, he doesn’t know if it’s just the word princess or Bez saying it but it gets him immediately closer to the edge, and obviously Bez notices.

“Oh you’d like that wouldn’t you? To be my little princess, get treated like royalty while I fuck you so good you forget your name?”

Cele moans again, Bez hits his prostate and he can’t help it, it’s all together and it’s all so much.

He’s so so close, he can feel the knot in his stomach about to burst.

“Mh not yet baby” “No please come on it’s my birthday” “You’re right bimbo, you’re right, but you still have to earn your gift no? So what about you ride me and then you can cum? Sounds good?”

It does. Because whenever he rides Bez he kinda gets the upper hand, he can tease more, and aside from the he loves riding Bez, he gets so deep inside him it almost makes him stupid.

“Yes yeah ok sounds - I’ll do it”

Bez kisses him deeply once again, pulling out and settling for a comfortable position to let Cele have access to his lap.

The older pats his thigh and Cele is quick to crawl to him, almost immediately trying to have Bez inside him again, sitting in his lap and guiding his cock against his hole, sinking on it as soon as he can, moaning loudly at the sensation.

“Come on Celin, you can move”

He follows Bez’s words like a command, and begins moving, tilting his head back as he rides Bez’s dick, so eager to come and make his boyfriend do the same.

His hands almost automatically go for the older’s hair, pulling him closer to his face to kiss him.

Cele moans inside Bez’s mouth, who’s eagerly swallowing every sound coming from the younger, especially once he gets his hands on Cele’s ass and squeezes it, helping him out with his movements.

“Are you tired already Celin? You want me to finish the job for you?”

And yeah, he actually is, his thighs are giving up, his brain is all over the place, sensitivity multiplied by a thousand times, and he really just finds it hot whenever Bez takes over the situation.

“Please”

Bez moans in his mouth before starting to meet his movements with harsh and deep thrusts, it’s obvious he’s close as well, Cele can tell by the way his moans are becoming louder and closer between them and the way he’s pulling him against his chest to feel him more.

Once Bez gets his free hand around his dick Cele knows it’s over, all it takes it’s a few strokes and he’s coming all over his boyfriend’s hand, leaking hot liquid making its way and dripping onto Bez’s thigh, while the older can only last so much before burying himself deep inside Cele and painting him white, Cele’s hypersensitive hole clenching at the hot sensation inside.

He climbs off Bez’s lap, cuddling beside him as he shifts to be laying on the bed, both taking deep breaths and looking at each other smiling.

“Fuck” “That was - god that was really good” “I still can’t believe I get to have you Marco” “Oh come on, at the latest it’s me who can’t believe I’m your boyfriend”

It makes Cele blush, the way Bez looks at him with the sun in his eyes.

“Can I make an early gift for your birthday?” “Always Celin”

He gets back on top of him, Bez casting a questioning look, then Cele lowers his head to level with his chest and Bez gets it.

“You possessive basta- fuck”

He’s drawing a heart with hickeys around his pierced nipple, something he’s done thousands of times now, to mark Bez as his, off limits for whoever may try to steal a glance at him.

He gets it done in less than one minute, then looks at his artwork for a good other few minutes.

“Happy now?” “Very” “Come here come on, I wanna cuddle you” “You’re always so -  you seem like a koala post sex you know?” “You enjoy me being clingy tho” “Yeah I do” “Then come here, we have to be up in like two hours to get to the Ranch” “No let’s stay here” “We got the race Celin” “I can’t wait for the season to be over do we can go to Venice” “Five days” “I’m already thinking of a few things we can do in five days there”

Bez smiles, leaving a kiss on Cele’s cheek before feeling him slowly drifting to sleep and quickly following him, keeping him tight in the hug. They’ll worry about cleaning up sometime later, right now the important thing it’s they’re together.